#i love having three creative outlets

[milkyberryjsk]

draft

EDIT: finished!

     Pearl Pangan wasn’t really one to dwell on things. She’s accustomed to always having to move forward. Her life just couldn’t afford for her to stay still, constantly having to work towards something in order to keep things going.

So… why is she here?

On the coast of a secluded beach somewhere in Mindoro, perched atop the edge of a sea stack as she looks off into the seemingly endless fields of blue that stretches both above and below her. Despite the vast openness of her surroundings, she feels…suffocated. She just sees her in everything, doesn't she?

She thinks of her when that shade of light blue enters her vision.

She thinks of her when the trees around her home dance with the wind in the afternoon.

She thinks of her when she passes by big cities when she's out on missions. The buildings, the infrastructure, all of that bustling life just for one person to permeate her consciousness.

"How about that one?"

Lei Ling turns around, taking a quick glance at the small building Pearl's pointing at before she lightheartedly scoffs.

"That truncation on the roof was unnecessary... and it doesn't look all that stable, come a natural calamity. I could probably construct a better blueprint for it's foundation with my eyes closed." She says in a semi-serious tone as she puts a hand to her hip.

Pearl chuckles, moving some hair out the sides of her face as they soar through the skyline of a city somewhere in Metro Manila.

"Ha! Why don't you do it yourself then?" She jests.

"...Doesn't sound like a bad idea, actually. It would genuinely be a beneficial venture for me."" Lei Ling says, putting a hand under chin.

Pearl smiles, shaking her head as she chuckles.

"Plus, we'd see each other more often if I actually go through with it, so..."

Pearl frowns at the memory.

Funny how they ended up seeing less of each other after that specific interaction. But that's not what hurts Pearl. It's that every interaction they did have thereafter, she just seemed to mess up and cut short every time. She's not blind to herself, she sees all of it. The shift in Lei Ling's demeanor whenever she does it.

How her eyes will dart in a different direction when she says something too intimate. The way her shoulders shrink when she turns away. How her breath ever so slightly hitches when Pearl finds herself in too close of a contact with her. That sheepish, almost nervous look in Lei Ling's face that Pearl reads as nothing but a sign for her to stop.

And it's a pain she's never truly had to tackle in her life. Her love has always been directed at something rational to her. The love she has for her grandfather, the people in her hometown, the entire country and all of it's people, she understands all of that.

Lei Ling, however... she can't wrap her head around it. Her heart surely can, but that just confuses her further.

The guilt of her lack of understanding in it haunts her. Hanging over her head as if it were mocking her. It's why no matter how much it slips from her mind and into her words or actions, she can never get herself to say it out loud. Because she dreads the moment Lei Ling will ask her,

"Why?"

She... doesn't know why.

Or at least is what she tells herself, anyway.

This back and forth in her mind repeats as she brings her knees to her chest, wrapping her arms around her legs. Eyes focused on the movement of the ocean before her as her body sits still against the wind. It's almost as if it's nudging her with the way it blows her hair out of her face softly. But that's the thought of her that's taking up her mind again.

Surely.

[seventhemaverick]

Astro Observations 2 🪽

Thank you for 120+ followers!! <3 this post has opinions and personal observations. Don’t take it too serious my babies. I love ur feedback. Please be kind, inform me otherwise!

☁️ I love how many people in the Astrology community are Scorpio risings, have dominant scorpio/8H placements/degrees, strong pluto influence like we’re all trying to find the meaning to all the f*ck shit that happens in our lives

☁️ Another dominance that I see in a natal chart that is really into these practices is Uranus and Neptune.

☁️ Lilith dominance in a natal chart can be rough especially when they make conjunctions to mars or Pluto. Men can sometimes be so mean to you especially when you both are around other people and you’re just like what just happened 😃? You were just telling me your deepest secrets and desires?? Odd… Á la poubelle 🚮

☁️ Speaking of Lilith, I get annoyed hearing that certain asteroids like Lilith and Chiron aren’t considered a part of a stellium 🙄 because if you can have Lilith dominance in your chart you should be able to consider it a part of your stellium as well? Same with Chiron. If there’s many aspects to those signs as well and if everything is energetically interconnected like astrology tries to show us, you would think those two asteroids at most would be considered. Especially because these asteroids play significant roles in HEALING *cough Chiron cough* and stepping into your power (Lilith). Both asteroids take a shorter amount of time to orbit the sun than most outer planets and some inner planets likeee cmon y’all.. me complaining because I’d technically have a Sagittarius stellium if Chiron and Lilith was included

☁️ Whatever quadrant(s) the majority of your placements fall in is what you are meant to focus on in this life. In the last quadrant, your focus could be on the world around you, humanitarian causes. A lot of planets in your first quadrant your mission in this lifetime is to be more self focused.

☁️ Intercepted houses are interesting... I’m very thankful I don’t have them because my chart is already 😀😗 .. yea. But I realized I’ve come across a lot of people with them and those houses if you don’t know already have a lot of focus on the house it pertains to. Example: intercepted houses in the 1st and 7th house means one of your life’s mission is learning how to assert yourself, set boundaries, find balance in relationships and your free time.

☁️ People that have intercepted houses usually attract people that has signs that rule those houses to teach them significant life lessons. So if you have 1st and 7th intercepted you’ll have someone who probably has Aries/libra in big three or within their chart , if you have 2nd and 8th you’ll attract someone with Taurus/Scorpio in big three or in their chart etc etc

☁️ If you’re feeling unstable it’s best to connect with the element you have most dominant in your chart. Whether it’s literally connecting to that element by physically interacting with it or you are doing the themes in relation to that element. This also applies to whatever sign your mars is in. Surrounding yourself with the element associated with your mars can allow you to release and ground yourself.

☁️ For instance, if you have a lot of water in your chart/water mars, swimming or being by the water and journaling, drawing, whatever creative outlet feels most healing to you by the water can bring you some peace. Talking to the ocean, lake, etc. can be grounding and if you’re really into esoteric practices you can give the water an offering in exchange for peace of mind. Earth, going on a hike, feeling the earth (not concrete yuck) with your bare soles/palms can be helpful, hugging and talking to trees. (Side note fun fact, removing vines that are wrapping a tree is also like an offering because vines growing around trees are invasive and preventing it from receiving sunlight, ultimately killing it. Save your local trees!! I see this as a form of an offering as well) Mother trees will help you most. Fire, first and foremost please be careful. Secondly, working with candles can be very healing and watching the light, taking walks when it’s really sunny, sun bathing, solar plexus yoga could bring much peace. Sun bathing your yoni when the sun is at its peak :) it really works. Air, burning incense whilst having good air ventilation, journaling, stimulating activities like running or jogging while simultaneously working on the breath. Breath work, mental workouts like chess. I might do a post about all Mars signs and specific activity outlets. Lmk in the comments if you guys would be interested :)

☁️ To break out of your comfort zone, to attract newness into your life, connect with the element you have least in your chart!

☁️ The element you have least of is what you tend to attract in others

☁️ People that connect more to sidereal astrology usually have some old soul-ness to them. I’ve observed it’s usually modern Astrology earth placements, mostly Taurus placements that tend to value that system more from what I’ve seen

☁️ I’ve noticed water sign placements/dominance like anime and k-pop a lot. Honorary mention is Aquarius but more towards anime.

☁️ I saw @harmoonix say this in one of their posts recently but this has been sitting in my drafts for over a month so I’m gonna agree and add on lol (love ur posts fr— trendsetter 💐) Aquarius placements, especially in the big 3, love video games. Love playing games on their phone and on a console. Love technology, it’s their safe space— a way to get away from the world. Aquarius does rule over technology! They’re the most tech savvy in the family. Their elders in their home relied on them for that stuff lol.

☁️ Sagittarius placements, esp mercury usually have different genres and languages of music in their catalog

☁️ For Sagittarius to be in detriment in Mercury that placement has many fantastic writers, poets, lyricists etc.

☁️ Earth placements, especially Capricorns can out smoke you. Out-any-substance you fr it’s actually crazy to witness 😂😂.

☁️ Your Groom (5129) or Briede (19029) in your natal chart can not only show the actual sign or house placements that your partner may have but the synastry overlays you both may have as well. For example you may have your groom asteroid in the sign virgo. Your spouses natal placements especially big 3 could have those planets fall into your sixth house. Virgo rules the sixth house.

☁️ This picture above is all Libra placements during this south node in Libra transit. The area Libra resides will show up and out! Villain era fr. Big 3 Libra placements will feel this way the most! This transit has me not giving ANY f*cks!

☁️ Your solar return rising sign is very important. It will tell you the themes that will take place in the new year ahead. For example: Virgo rising in your solar return has you more work and health focused. Should I make a post about solar return risings lmk in the comments!

☁️ It’s also interesting that your rising and moon sign in your solar return chart can pertain who you most come into contact with during. So if your rising is Leo that year you’ll probably befriend, get closer to, date many Leo’s or people that have Leo placements/degrees in their chart :). I can confirm that within each ascendant I have had in my returns since studying astrology the people I was closer to/in contact more with during the time period had those placements in big three especially.

☁️ not an observation but a statement of a dilemma of mine because I cannot choose between placidus and whole sign system. I deeply relate to both. I thankfully don’t have intercepted houses but I can see both sides to the placements in my chart and the different houses they reside in with both systems 😂 ok moving on

☁️ I use placidus house system mostly when I’m reading other people’s chart and whole sign when I’m reading compatibility charts

☁️ placidus is a better system to use for most people because we live in different hemispheres and that system caters to that imo

☁️ I realize most Pisces and Sagittarius placements loveeee green. It’s that Jupiter calling in that abundance!

☁️ Scorpio and Aries are ruled by mars and I have realized people with these placements like purple a lot. Capricorn placements tend to like purple too and cap is exalted in mars! Purple and black are associated with satur(n)day!

☁️ Saw an observation about sag mercuries always interrupt you and it’s true LMAO but they’re very passionate people and I think they just wanna get what they have to say off their chest

☁️ Sagittarius mercuries are the smartest Mercury sign imo.

☁️ Pisces placements especially in the big three are very crafty when it comes to talking their way out of being held accountable

☁️ Being around people that have the signs in your 2nd and 8th house can easily trigger you if you’re not actively working on healing your wounds

☁️ I haven’t met an air sign that doesn’t speak with their face and hands especially Gemini chile

☁️ Mars rules celibacy, Venus rules lust. I realize that people with strong Aries/Scorpio/Capricorn are not into having sex with multiple people simultaneously or can go long periods without having sex. They view sex as a very intimate activity.

☁️ hate to come down on my Venusians but Taurus and Libras and let’s not forget about my girl is exalted in Pisces! People with strong placements in these signs can be loyal but sometimes there can be wandering eyes. Like an itch they want to scratch so bad. Even if they’re very loyal in nature it’s more possible for them to flirt for fun or get into affairs more because they’re hedonistic in nature

☁️ when a Capricorn loves you they will always have your back and put into you financially to help your dreams come true. One of the most attentive , supportive people to have in your corner!

🪽 I wanted to post this sooner but I’m currently grieving the loss of my Capricorn dominant grandmother who was my closest confidant and greatest inspiration, about a month ago. She passed during her Saturn return and Uranus return. She lived an incredible life. Strongest, most fearless person I know. An entrepreneur who knew how to get it! Some people didn’t make it into the new year with us and I hope you know that you have now gained an angel. I’m grateful to the Tumblr astrology community for sharing their knowledge. Astrology really helps me make sense of the world and I’m happy that we all find peace in that. Sending my love and best wishes to you all. Thank you for reading and tuning in xoxo 🪽

[rhaenella]

CL16 | Is It Over Now? | pt.4

pairing: charles leclerc x singer!reader

genre: social media au

summary: you and charles have been everyone's fave couple on the grid, but when you somewhat unexpectedly break up, you turn to songwriting to cope with the pain

face claim: léon

a/n: all songs mentioned are by léon and some of taylor’s from the vault. also a massive thank you to my part time french teacher @xeresmalfoy for helping out and checking my grammar ❤️

･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･

part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 5 | part 6 | part 7

･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･

Liked by taylorswift, selenagomez and 1,131,489 others

y/n: Your reaction to Is It Over Now? has been nothing short of incredible. I feel your love 🤍 And that’s why I decided to give some of that love back to you. Besides my new music video, we’ve been secretly rehearsing for a special little something… 

It’s been a busy couple of weeks but I’m very excited to announce that I will be playing three small, intimate “one night only” shows in London (7/11), Paris (7/12) and New York City (7/15) next week. I can’t wait to see some of you there, let’s make it a good one x

🔗 Link to tickets in my bio!

View all 22,362 comments

sophiet: Yasss girl🔥see ya next week😘

Liked by y/n

landonorris: Surely friends will get a discount, no?

y/n: Hmm… we’ll see

yourmanager: No.

user7: i can’t waittttt!!!!!! see you in new york 😍❤️

user8: y/n really said i’m gonna use my pain and turn it into a creative outlet and i think that’s so beautiful and inspiring ♥️

user9: I CANT BELIEVE I MANAGED TO GET TICKETS

user10: omggg you’re so lucky they sold out so fast

user11: yeah i was too late :(((

user10: hopefully y/n will do a bigger tour🤞🤞

y/n: Sooooonnnnn 🤫

user10: OMFG

3 July

Liked by user23, user29 and 43,119 others

wagsf1update: Pierre, Kika, Charles and Maddy attend day eight of Wimbledon!

View all 2,235 comments

user23: charles and pierre look so gooddd 😍😍😍

user24: clone is cloning

user25: the way charles was only really talking to pierre during the game

user26: maddy and charles look so happy and in love in those pictures……. NOT

user27: so far i haven’t seen either of them smile in each other’s presence 

10 July

y/n’s story

Seen by alex_albon, kellypiquet and 3,979,114 others

11 July

landonorris’ story

Seen by y/n, danielricciardo and 3,788,531 others

11 July

danielricciardo’s story

Seen by landonorris, alex_albon and 3,244,091 others

11 July

landonorris’ story

Seen by charles_leclerc, carlossainz55 and 3,743,160 others

11 July

danielricciardo’s story

Seen by yourbestfriend, charles_leclerc and 3,028,340 others

11 July

Liked by y/n, lilymhe and 301,882 others

alex_albon: Our professional opinion: this new up an coming artist was not too bad 🧐 (and fun fact: her post-concert cravings are REAL)

View all 2,911 comments

y/n: Omg Alex…

y/n: DID YOU HAVE TO POST THAT PICTURE

alex_albon: Yes

danielricciardo: Starving performer devours a burger 🍔 by alex.jpg

lilymhe: I told alex not to do it but he never listens to me

alex_albon: I can’t help that’s what she looks like when she eats

carlossainz55: This is true, I’ve witnessed this myself

y/n: I hate all of you

maxverstappen1: But secretly you still love us

y/n: Careful champ, there’s a fine line between love and hate

landonorris: Go on, please hate them so I will get all the love since I’m the only one here taking the banger pics

Liked by y/n

12 July

Liked by kellypiquet, yourbestfriend and 998,267 others

y/n: London was an absolute dream. Thank you for an unforgettable night❣️à demain Paris 🇫🇷

View all 18,432 comments

user18: absolute dream? ABSOLUTE FIRE ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

user19: BEST. NIGHT. EVER.

user20: it was emotional but oh so fucking powerful

user21: say don’t go is my new favorite song, i love it so much 😭❤️

Liked by y/n

user21: you were spectacular!!!!! please come back soon 

user22: j'ai hâte de vous voir demain, j'attends de vous voir en live depuis des années!!🙊💕 

Liked by y/n

12 July

—

It was late. Way past midnight. Maddy had already gone to bed a few hours ago. But Charles was still up, slouched on the couch in his five-star suite, a frown edged deep into his forehead.

He silently scrolled through his social media, switching from Twitter to Instagram to Twitter and back to Instagram again. You'd just posted new photos of your show in London tonight, looking as beautiful as ever.

The stage was where Charles knew you felt most comfortable, somewhere you weren’t scared to open up your heart and be vulnerable. The atmosphere you were able to create during your concerts couldn’t be put into words. It was truly something one of a kind. The way you effortlessly connected with the audience… it always left him speechless and usually with a wide, beaming smile.

In other words, he would never tire of watching you perform.

Charles had always been proud of you. And still, as he sat there reading through the thousands of posts by your fans and even some by his colleagues, he couldn’t help but feel that same sense of pride swell inside of him. 

Though, that pride was mostly overshadowed by a feeling of intense guilt. Guilt that kept nagging at him ever since the moment you’d packed your bags and left his apartment with tears running down your cheeks. His heart clenched painfully as Charles thought back to that particular day. It was his fault. All of it. He had been stupid. No, beyond stupid. It had started out as a drunken mistake. But you can’t make a drunken mistake twice, let alone thrice. 

When you’d found out and had confronted Charles, he hadn’t denied it. And in that moment, he’d witnessed that last bit of hope you’d stubbornly clung to, shatter before his eyes. Along with your heart and your trust. 

As the reality of the situation had slowly dawned on him, he’d gone completely numb. Charles had wanted to fight for you harder, but he hadn’t. If he had, his current situation could’ve possibly been entirely different. Your new song—which he had already listened to three times—made that perfectly clear.

But he had decided on another path. A decision that resulted from losing the love of his life by his own hand. Did it make any sense? To choose to stay with the girl he’d betrayed you with? In his loneliness it had made some weird type of sense. Because if there was one thing Charles couldn’t handle well, it was being alone. And boy, he’d never felt more alone than when you’d closed that door behind you, making him believe there was no longer hope for a future together.

Now, all he wanted was to focus on moving on and stick to his decision to be with Maddy. Was he in denial about his true feelings and the pain he tried to bury deep inside of himself? Perhaps. Probably.

Charles was still mindlessly scrolling when Maddy emerged from the bedroom, leaning against the wall studiously. He hadn’t even heard her until she cleared her throat, speaking to him softly but with a tinge of annoyance. 

“Charles, are you finally coming to bed?”

“Ouais, je serai là dans une minute,” he answered absentmindedly.

Yeah, I’ll be there in a minute.

She rolled her eyes. “How often do I have to tell you: speak English. I’ve no clue what you’re saying.”

“Mhm, désolé…” 

Charles paused, quickly looking up as he realised his mistake. 

“Seriously,” Maddy scoffed.

He winced at her irritated look. There was no denying Maddy had a temper, her moods changing as quick as lightning. The countless fights Charles and her had had in the past few months were enough proof of that.

“Sorry,” he tried again.

She huffed, stomping away in the direction of the suite’s bedroom, harshly closing the door behind her.

He rubbed his temple, sighing. He was just tired. And speaking in his native tongue when he was tired or upset was something he did without thinking. 

Years ago, you’d quickly figured that out as well. However, you never judged him for it. No, you were understanding, trying to acquaint yourself with his language to understand him better. To be there for him. In the end, you knew him so well that you could almost always accurately read him, the language barrier between you no longer an issue. Not that it had ever been one in the first place.

He thought back to one of the tweets he’d read before Maddy had come barging in. 

‘Charles made the biggest mistake of his life. I hope he realizes it.’

He squeezed his eyes shut, letting his head lull back against the couch’s headrest. And just like he’d done ever since that fateful day, he willed all of his doubts, guilt, and pain into a neat little box, unable to face them. Charles sighed again, pushing himself to his feet, wearily following in Maddy’s footsteps towards their shared bedroom. But as his hand hovered over the door handle, one single truth echoed through him, unwavering.

Oui, he thought. Je le comprends. 

Yes. I do realize it.

･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･

･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･

Tags: @sukisheadlights @eviethetheatrefreak @blueflorals @kiskso @dessxoxsworld @treehouse-mouse @dangeroustacoalienbiscuit @clown-fc @stopeatread @vanishingcherry @bb-swift @leclercdream @scenesofobx

[readsaboutreid]

Permanent Solution | S.R.

cw: big big warning for suicidal ideation (first person POV so you get some of the full on thought spiraling) typical criminal minds violence (reader gets kidnapped by an unsub and tortured but it doesn’t get too descriptive), extreme angst, Morgan being a dick at first (I love him but he was the only person I could really see for the role he fills in the plot with his tell it like it is vibes) but he gets his redemption in pt 2 i promise

no request for this one i had a real bad day and needed to use my thought spiral in some sort of creative outlet to get myself out of it so i took it out on spencer and reader sorry in advance y'all

"None of us like you."

The words rattled around in my brain as I walked absent-mindedly, my destination already in the back of my mind. I hadn't made this walk in five months. The five months before that had been focused on reducing the number of times I took this path.

First, the goal had been to reduce the number of times I felt compelled to take this particular walk. Walks overall weren't out of the question, and were actually encouraged. Especially walks where I shared the company with someone else. But this specific one was different. It carried a different weight. The initial goal set with my therapist had been to reduce how often I walked this path from nearly every night to no more than two or three times a week, substituting it with a different path through a different and more active part of town. After that, the goal was to move to only walking this path once a week. Then, ideally, none at all.

Ten months. Ten months of twice-weekly therapy sessions down the drain. With five measly words. I started to wonder what Spencer would say if he knew where I was headed, but shook my head free of the thought. He'd be better off in the end, anyways. The wind bit into my cheeks and I tugged the green cardigan that hung loosely off my shoulders so that it was tighter around me, the only protection from the cold that seeped down into my bones. I began to walk faster as I shivered, trying anything I could to warm up my body even just a little bit, and thought back to the encounter from earlier that had caused me to spiral so suddenly and severely.

"—none of us like you," Morgan said to me, cutting me off right as I was attempting to defend my previous decision to turn down the previous drink night invitations in the twelve months since I'd been at the BAU, resulting in Spencer also turning them down and going home with me, instead for the last eleven out of twelve of those months. The expression on his face matched the complete and utter disdain dripping from each and every word. "Not even Hotch, who got you the job in the first place, seems to want you on the team anymore. The only person who ever wants you to be around is Reid, and none of us can figure out why." When he finished I took a look around the table to see everyone else just looking down and avoiding my gaze, including Penelope, who had become somewhat of a sister to me in the past year.

"You—," my voice caught in my throat at that point and I cleared it, trying to sound as steady as I could as I asked, "A-all of you share this sentiment?" Despite strength I had tried to muster to ask that question, my voice only came out thick and wavery, and it was all I could do to keep my lip and lower jaw from trembling. I had tried as hard as possible to overcome myself since starting at the BAU, to believe that the people around me genuinely enjoyed my presence and didn't secretly roll their eyes and sigh in relief when I left the room, but apparently I had failed to make them like me and that's exactly what they felt.

"You'll have to excuse me, please," I gasped as the information presented to me sank in. I then stood, my eyes swimming with tears, and ran from the table they had all situated themselves into at the bar, only to run head on into Spencer, who grabbed my by the shoulders with a soft laugh and gentle smile.

"Easy there, (Y/N)," he chuckled while steadying me. It was only then that he realized something was wrong and his smile was immediately replaced with a concerned frown. "Hey, what's wrong, angel?" I shook my head, shook free of his grasp, and kept making for the door, my head slowing down a bit as I finally was able to take in a breath of fresh air as I made it outside.

Spencer hastily followed after me, right at my heels. "(Y/N)! (Y/N), wait!" He called after me, pushing his way through the crowd and finally out the door as well before wrapping me tightly in his arms. "Hey, now, what's wrong, love?" He cooed as he pressed my head into his chest and wrapped his cardigan around my shoulders when he felt me tremble.

I hesitated, debating what to say to him. I could either tell him the truth and earn the further ire of our colleagues by snitching or I could do what I do best: blow every thing up so there would be nobody else to blame but myself. I opted for the latter.

With a deep, shuddering breath, I finally managed to force the words from my throat. Each one stabbed into my chest with the force of a dull butter knife. "I— th-this—," I stumbled, "th-this isn't working, Spencer." My voice was barely above a whisper by the end when I finally met his eyes, which quickly filled with tears at hearing my words.

"Wh-what?" The word came out as nothing more than a breath but within it I swear I could hear the crack in his chest that echoed the one in my own. "Why— wh-what— I don't— where is this coming from?"

"I'm sorry," I said through soft sobs before I turned and ran off, leaving him standing on the sidewalk with tears slowly beginning to fall down his cheeks.

I had broken his heart, ensuring that he, too, would hate me. That was the plan. I had to push him away and make him hate me as much as the rest of them so that it would hurt him less when they found me. I made the last turn and found myself at my destination - the 11th Street bridge.

Spencer stood on the sidewalk, staring after her long after she had disappeared around the corner up ahead. He ran through the events of the past hour, trying to figure out what he could have done.

"You can go without me, Spencer," she protested as he tried to convince her to go out for drink night with the rest of the team.

"Please come with me? It will be fun, I promise!" It was a strange reversal for him to be the one trying to coax someone else into going out. Usually it was Morgan trying to convince him to go out (Garcia had literally forced him to go out with her after a particularly rough case or two), but now he decided to pay it forward to get his girlfriend to come out with their team and have some much needed fun. "What's the worst that could happen?"

"What if they don't actually want me there?" She asked, her voice small and timid.

"That's ridiculous! Why wouldn't they want you there? You're amazing," he smiled at her, starting to pepper her face with kisses in an attempt to cheer her up. She giggled quietly, not really trying as she made to push him away. He continued his assault, kissing her cheeks, forehead, nose, and lips, over and over with light pecks. When she finally acquiesced, he was giddy with excitement and felt a swell of pride in his chest at the progress she had made since they met.

As they stepped out of his car he grabbed her hand and saw her face twist with anxiety. He gave her hand a soft, reassuring squeeze before his phone rang, the number for the mental facility his mother currently resided in showing on the screen. "I need to take this, head on inside and I'll be right there, okay angel?" She swallowed nervously and walked inside, and he took the call.

5 minutes and 29 seconds.

That's how long he had been on the phone. Whatever had happened had taken only 5 minutes and 29 seconds. And it ended his relationship.

Spencer found himself pushing the door open and walking back inside the bar. His blood rushed in his ears as he approached the table and stared at all of his coworkers.

"What happened?" He asked, his voice just loud enough to be heard above the music.

"Reid," Morgan started, but Spencer cut him off. "Don't look at us like th—"

"Whatever was said in the 5 minutes and 29 seconds I was on the phone with my mother's hospital resulted in me getting dumped on the sidewalk outside when not even 30 minutes ago (Y/N) was laughing, and smiling, and happy. So what. Happened?" He seethed.

"Alright, you want to know what happened, Reid?" Morgan snapped, preparing to stand up and tell him off before being stopped by Penelope, who looked as though she was still on the verge of tears. 

“Reid, I’m sorry,” she whispered as she stood up instead, standing in front of Spencer. “I should have stopped him,” she continued, shaking her head. “I shouldn’t have let him talk to her like that.” 

“What did he tell her?” Spencer turned to Garcia, interrupting Derek as he opened his mouth to interject. 

“I told her the truth,” Morgan slurred, finishing off what the rest of them knew was his fourth glass of whiskey. Spencer opted to ignore his clearly drunk colleague and continued to address Garcia. 

“Garcia, what did he say to my girlfriend?” Spencer insisted, his anger being slowly replaced by a sense of growing dread. 

“He— he told her nobody wanted her around,” she admitted, her eyes closing and her face twisting with guilt before she hastily added, “which of course that’s not the case! I love (Y/N) like she’s my own sister...” Spencer felt his heart drop into the pit that had become his stomach as his fears were confirmed.  

“But?” Spencer added, tilting his head to the side, his voice growing quieter as the conversation continued. 

“...but the rest of us miss you, Spence,” JJ finally spoke up. “We haven’t seen you in ages outside of work! If she’s keeping you from spending time with your friends, that's a little bit of a red flag, isn't it?” She reasoned, standing to put a hand on his bicep to calm him.  

He angrily shook her off, the anxiety coursing through his veins shifting back into an icy rage. “She hasn’t kept me from doing anything, Jennifer,” he spat through gritted teeth as he held her gaze, which was a mix of shock and hurt at his tone.  

“Spence, I just meant that—” JJ started, but was immediately interrupted by Spencer, whose rage was steadily growing to the point where he was certain he was visibly trembling. 

“In fact, she has been continually insisting that I leave her behind to come out with you all, but given that I don’t drink much to begin with I usually just opt for a night in with her. I didn’t realize I needed permission from the rest of the team to make that decision for myself,” he bit back before turning to leave. 

“Where are you going, Reid? Reid! Come on, man, be reasonable!” Morgan called out, only for Spencer to ignore him and keep walking. If he stayed there any longer, he knew he would end up saying something he’d regret, and with the way most of them were talking about his girlfriend—ex-girlfriend—he figured they’d find some way to blame her for his outburst if he did.

When he finally exited the bar, he felt a hand wrap around his wrist and he turned on his heel, preparing for another round of arguing, only to be met with the now tear-streaked cheeks of Penelope Garcia. 

“What do you want, Garcia?” He snapped, his face softening as he took in her apologetic expression. 

“I— I’m sorry, Spencer,” she whispered. “I should have told Derek to shut up, I’m so sorry! I just— I hate when the people I love start fighting like that! I shut down and— and I know I should have stood up for her but I just— I just froze like a coward and—” her voice grew more frantic and upset before Spencer cut her off. 

“Garcia, it’s not your fault,” Spencer sighed, his anger fading away until the only thing he felt was the ache in his chest. “Derek was drunk and belligerent. You’re not responsible for his actions.” He paused as he took a deep, shuddering breath. “I just wish I could have been there to put a stop to it. She’s so sweet, and kind, and utterly terrified of people. I shouldn’t have sent her in by herself knowing that." His voice cracked as a fresh wave of tears started to fall down his own cheeks. 

“Spencer, you had no way of knowing any of this would happen,” Penelope wrapped Spencer in a tight hug, and he finally broke down. His body shook gently with soft, nearly silent sobs and he cried into her shoulder. “I’m so sorry, Spencer. I know how much you love her.” Garcia’s own voice cracked as her heart ached for the crying boy in her arms.  

“Wh— what do I do, Penelope?” He mumbled into the sleeve of her sweater. “I just want to help her feel better.” That’s all he’d wanted since he’d first laid eyes on her. He’d never forget how emaciated she had looked, her skin pallid and her eyes nothing more than dim, lifeless pits with dark bruise-like rings underneath them.  

“Everyone, I’d like you to meet Dr. (Y/L/N). She just graduated from the academy and has expertise in psycholinguistics as well as a doctorate in neuropsychology, so I have no doubt she’ll be an excellent addition to the team.”

Spencer had tried his hardest in the two months after that initial introduction to get to know her, to understand why she looked like a reanimated corpse (albeit a very beautiful one) who had just wandered out of a morgue. Over those two months, the two of them had grown closer and closer, thanks to much insistent pushing from him. At first, it came in the form of attempting to get her to join the rest of them for drinks at their bar of choice (the others would never invite her themselves but Spencer would insist to her that it was okay, that she was a part of the team), but quickly he realized that all might be a bit too much for her. So, one night, he told the team he wasn’t feeling up to going out and instead privately asked (Y/N) if she’d want to join him for pizza and a movie at his place since he wasn't feeling up to big crowds and he had a feeling neither was she. He had been prepared to be turned down but was pleasantly surprised when her face showed the slightest expression of piqued interest and she agreed.

He then started to skip out on pretty much all of the future invitations to go out for drinks with the rest of the team, opting instead to go home for pizza and Doctor Who or Star Trek marathons with her, and he started seeing a whole other side to her that no one else had even suspected could have existed. She’d slowly opened to him, occasionally letting out quiet and restrained laughs at his goofy jokes and puns at the beginning of their friendship.

Eventually, those soft titters grew into ebullient, beautiful laughs that were like music to his ears. Her smiles went from being forced and never meeting her eyes to lighting up her entire face, at times so brightly that Spencer swore she could illuminate a dark room with nothing but her smile. She showed that there was a side to her that was goofy, outgoing, and full of life.

It was around then (November 17 at 11:57 PM) that their relationship had started officially with a soft, tentative kiss goodnight; but from the very first time he heard her let out a soft, breathy giggle at his goofy joke about Spock having three ears (‘a left ear, a right ear, and a final front-ier!’), Spencer knew that he would marry her someday.

Or at least he had thought so, until tonight.  

“Give her some space to sort out her emotions, Spencer,” the voice of Penelope Garcia in his ear dragged him back into the present, her arms still wrapped tightly around him. “She loves you more than anything, and we both know that.” She let go and gave him a teary smile before wiping her cheeks.  

“You’re right,” he replied, taking in another deep, shuddering breath. “Plus, she walked away with my cardigan, and we both know she’s a stickler about returning borrowed clothing!” He attempted a joke, but the laugh he tried to give after cracking it came out more like another choked sob.  

“If I were you, I’d just give her a quick phone call and let her know that you love her no matter what anyone else says or thinks, okay? She needs to know that more than she needs anything else right now.”  

“Right. Yes, you’re right,” he muttered, wiping his eyes on his shirt sleeve. “Thank you, Penelope.” 

“I’m always here for you, Spencer,” she smiled at him before adding, “both of you. Now, if you'll excuse me, I must go tear Agent Morgan a new asshole for getting you dumped and hurting my best friend.” She took a second to shake her head and rub her own cheeks to dry them. “Call me once she makes it home safely to you, okay? Promise?” He nodded quietly. “Uh-uh-uh, what was it that one kid had told you a while back? ‘A promise doesn’t count unless you say it out loud,’ right?” 

“I promise,” Spencer felt a small smile tugging on the corner of his lips. He then walked down the block to his car, got in, and drove home to wait for (Y/N).  

When he arrived and had walked through the doorway, he pulled his cell phone from his pocket and dialed her number. It rang four times and then went to her voicemail.  

“Hi, you’ve reached the voicemail of Dr. (Y/L/N), I can’t come to the phone right now but if you leave your name and number, I’ll return your call as soon as I am able. Thanks!” Beep. 

“Hi, (Y/N). So, Penelope filled me in on everything that happened,” he began shakily, and took a deep breath before he continued. “I’m so sorry that I wasn’t there to stop Morgan from saying all of that, but please, please know that no one hates you, I promise. Penelope assured me that she was going to tear him a new one for what he said, and I promised her that I’d call her once you made it home safely.” He paused, searching for his next words carefully, and settled on, “I love you so much, angel. Please, please never forget that.” And then he had to hang up the phone, his eyes filling with more tears.  

He made his way to the couch and sat down, turning the TV on and finding a marathon of Buffy the Vampire Slayer playing. Knowing it was her favorite show, he left it on and patiently waited. On the couch sat a small stuffed cat with a blue and white spotted mushroom for a head that he had gifted her on a whim, Dr. Mewshroom, as she had taken to calling it. He grabbed Dr. Mewshroom and hugged it close to his chest as he leaned back on the couch and eventually dozed off. 

I paced up and down the 11th Street bridge for an hour before I decided to hop up and sit on the railing. My walking had warmed me up significantly, so I shed the cardigan Spencer had wrapped around my shoulders. Hopefully, it would be returned to him when they eventually found me. I stared down into the dark water beneath my dangling feet and tried to find the courage within me to jump, but I couldn’t give myself the final push I needed, just like all of the previous times I’d made this trip.  

I must have sat there for fifteen more minutes or so before I decided to give it up and go home to Spencer. Maybe, if I begged and pleaded with him, he’d take me back. I checked my phone to see that I had a missed call from him. Weird, I hadn’t even heard it ring. Before I could turn myself around to hop off the railing, I was grabbed from behind and a cloth was pressed to my mouth and nose, blocking me from screaming. My nose and throat filled with a burning sensation before everything faded to black... 

[scribblesofagoonerr]

All that I ask is that you stay with me | Inner Demons

⟫ Alphabet Challenge, A - All that I ask is that you stay with me

Pairings: leah williamson x teen reader, arsenal wfc x teen reader

This is some angst that I thought to write because, well, life's been hard recently and I need a creative outlet to get my emotions out on paper and well, this is the result.

It might not be great and it's not been proof-read at all, so uh, yeah... Let me know what you all think but please be kind :)

And if any of you have any ideas of things to write, I'm open to write anything, within reason of course. My asks are open so feel free to drop anything in there :)

The battle with your inner demons are hard. You sometimes wonder if it's better to leave the world, making the decision without the realisation of how loved you are by the team of girls around you.

TW: heavy angst, SH, MH and talks of suicide and death.

"Y/N are you in there? Hurry up, we're about to start the film" The loud voice of Katie shouts aloud from the other side of the closed bathroom door to alert you of your attention.

You were joined by the girls in a classic team bonding night, a good ol' fashioned film to watch with some sugary treats, curtousy of it being a cheat day.

You are always so excited to spend time with the older girls, you all looked up with some much respect, being a part of the team for a while, you'd grown to love the girls like your own family.

Despite how well you fitted in at the club and how amazing you played football, there would always be people to put you down.

And in this case, it was in the forms of social media.

The internet could be a cruel place sometimes.

"Ye... Yeah, alright. J... Just a minute, I'll be right out" You shakily reply as you held the blade out in front of you while it stared back at you, almost like it was almost taunting you to use it.

Old habits are easy to break, you should have knew that.

It wasn't long before you were slumped on the bathroom floor as you watched the crimson liquid trickle down your arms. It felt like a rush of instant relief to the pain that you currently indured.

One small cut to take away the pain, you thought it would be okay.

Two cuts, you just wanted to chase the rush of the first.

Three, four and five, you realise you may have messed up.

You were doing so well, you had been on the right path to get help. that was needed. You had been clean for a numerous amount of days and just in that instant, the snap of a finger and all of that progress, had just been so easy to unwravle again.

You found it so easy to take a hold of the blade in your hand, press it against your wrist and pierce the skin.

It was a feeling of euphoria that you hadn't felt in a while, it was something that was needed.

The cuts were deep, too deep that even with added pressure, they wouldn't stop bleeding.

"Is this the end now?" You had to question yourself as your eyelids felt heavy, you were so tired and you didn't have it in you to fight anymore.

Was it really that easy to leave a world full of heartache and pain?

Maybe so,

At least you had thought that as you hear the sudden loud bang of the bathroom flying open and clashing against the wall.

"Y/N!" It was Leah's shrill voice that screams out in a panic, her eyes widened in fear as she stares at you. "Y/N, can you hear me?!" she questions with a a quiver in her tone.

"L... Le" You slur her name as you look at the blonde as you can feel yourself slipping into a state of unconciousness.

"Stay awake, Y/N. You have too-- Girls, help!" Leah continues to shout aloud for any of the girls to hear. " You hear me, Y/N? You have to stay awake" she pleads as her tears threaten to spill.

"S' okay, Le. L... Let me go. It's time" You tell her quietly as your eyes flutter between being open and shut.

"No, Y/N. You can't give up... You can't" Leah cries openly, the tears at bay have now escaped. "Stay with me, Y/N. Stay with me, please" she adds, her voice becomes louder as hot tears roll down her cheeks.

The rest of the girls all heard Leah's panicked voice and dart in the direction of the bathroom, each of them gasping in shock to find you slumped on the floor.

"Shit-- Y/N" Beths' eyes widen in fear and panic as she takes in the scene in front of her.

"What happened?" Viv questions, alarmed by the sight.

"S... She's hurt herself" Leahs' panicked voice speaks aloud while she's crouched down on the floor and pressing a towel against your wrists to try and soak up the blood. "I... I can't get the bleeding to stop" she tells them.

"Somebody call an ambulance, quick" Katie states as she joins Leah's side to kneel down and try to help in way that she can.

Her usual joking manner has suddenly turned into fearful and that's when the girls all knew this was serious.

"I'm on it" Jen agrees as fishes her phone out of her pocket, dialing 999 and waiting for an answer on the other side. "I need an ambulance, as soon as possible. It's urgent! My team mates' hurt herself and is in and out of unconciousness" the scots' woman speaks aloud,

"Stay with me, Y/N. Stay with me, keep your eyes open please" Leah pleads as she continues to hold the now blood-soaked towl against your skin, her own tears freely spilling down her cheeks as you daze in and out of sleep.

"W... Why would she do this to herself" Steph questions concerned as she glances at you, heartbroken it had come to this.

"I don't know, she was... she was doing better" Lia spoke out, swallowing the lump in her throat as she tried to keep her own emotions in check.

"At least, we thought she was" Beth mumbles as she struggles to take her eyes off your unconcious body.

"She'll be okay, she has to be" Caitlin adds in with vulnerability in her voice that wasn't usually shown to anyone, other than you.

You were the baby of the team, all of the girls were overprotective of you ever since you joined. It wasn't a secret that you had them all virtually wrapped around your pinky finger.

All the girls knew it was hard for you, you had a lot of expectation to live up to and knew that eventually, the pressure would be too much for you and you would break.

They were all there the last time, they saw the good, the bad and the damn right ugly and vowed to not let it happen again.

But, old habits are easy to break, right?

"Ambulance is on it's way. It won't be long" Jen tells the girls.

"I'm going with her" Leah was quick to say. A tone in her voice which the rest of the girls knew to not object against.

You were close with the girls but compared to them, Leah was pretty much your second-mum, older sister figure all rolled into one and she was the one that you always came to when it got tough.

Why didn't you just speak to her? Then maybe things could be different.

"We'll follow you to the hospital" Kim replies to the blonde and the rest of the girls all nod in agreement, they would always be there for you at a time when you most needed it.

They were your family, and family never turned their back on another.

[leclerc-s]

she's married you idiots!

series masterlist

isabella perez mae, i wasn't aware you and max had gotten a divorce and you were now dating barry keoghan.

mae jones-verstappen oh my god who started it this time??

oscar piastri tmz

zoya torres and fans are definitely helping troll the others who think mae is dating barry.

max jones-verstappen why are they calling him bath water guy and grave guy??

oscar piastri as someone who watched the movie with his girlfriend for the "vine" trust me when i say you don't want to know.

lando norris you do not want to watch that movie, trust me.

isabella perez so that's a negative on you and barry?

max jones-verstappen i hope you get fired. mae jones-verstappen we had dinner, as friends, a while back, but max was with us. which is something tmz kindly left out.

logan sargeant i fucking hate tmz

arthur leclerc is this because they said zoya was dating louis? logan sargeant shut the fuck up?

pierre gasly i think charles is the only one who is safe from dating rumors.

natalia ruiz because the people love him and the italians lose their shit anytime someone implies charles is dating someone.

charles leclerc and they send natalia many dms asking her if we're over so that they can make a move on me.

arthur leclerc i am safe too.

dulce perez up until three months ago, everyone thought i was dating robert. not you. trust me, you are not safe.

rhys jones this? again?

sebastian vettel next they'll be saying max is dating daniel, again.

fernando alonso when did they ever stop saying that?

daniel jones-ricciardo he's my platonic soulmate! max jones-verstappen we're lovers but our wives don't know it yet. daphne jones-ricciardo i was under the assumption that my husband was in a secret love affair with ryan and that max was engaging in an affair with charles?

lewis hamilton a bunch of children, all of you.

fernando alonso starting with me, you, and seb. as the oldest we set the examples. sebastian vettel they learned from us lewis.

lewis hamilton i'm nowhere near as dramatic as you two!

rhys jones "well we're not friends." isabella perez "and teammate" george russell "taken out by my own teammate" lewis hamilton ALRIGHT I GET IT!

maejonesverstappen and maxjonesverstappen1 have posted new stories

i don't know about anyone else, but i spent valentine's day with my husband

ik houd van je

taglist: @burningcupcakefire @arkhammaid @sunflower-golden-vol6 @applopie @lorarri @mypage-myfandoms @bb-swift @thewannabewriter @you-bleed-just-toknowyouarealive @stopeatread @hobiismyhopeu @lilsiz @alessioayla @niniluvsainz @au-ghosttype @cowboylikemets1989 @justtprachisblog @rmeddar123 @nichmeddar @landonorizzz @unluckyyoshi @Mimolovescookies @brekkers-whore @natcha888 @camdensreg @mycenterfold @dear-fifi @prongsvault @kaa212 @anxxiousaries @julesbabey1 @julesbabey @georgeparisole @Smnthnclj @dan3avocado @melissayalene @nothanqks @nikfigueiredo @bella-1 @namgification @jensonsonlybutton @chezmardybum @d3kstar @weekendlusting @anytimeanywherebitchblog @ragioniera @burberryfilms @trouble-sistar @lesliiieeeee @leclercsluv @33-81 @theseus-jpg @lorenaskaspersen @sarah-thatstings-ann @My-fangirling-outlet

strikethrough means i couldn't tag you

click here to be added to the honest series taglist

¡leclerc-s speaks! anyways, back to our regularly scheduled programing, not that i have a posting schedule, but i figured, you know i gave daniel and daphne two parts about relationship rumors why not give mae and max one. this is a product of that. honestly some of my best work comes when i am sleep deprived because insomnia is a bitch, this was written yesterday. is there anyone you guys would like to write relationship rumors about??

¡disclaimer! this is in no way making assumptions about the people involved in this story, this is all fake. it is a fanfiction please don't take any of what is said seriously. this is all for entertainment purposes and as a creative outlet for me. enjoy!

[cozage]

Hi! Could you write something with Sanji, Zoro, Law (maybe Izo) with a S/O that likes to do graffiti? Like, they have a small ring notebook (idk if it's this, but it's the one that opens and close and u can put more pages) where they keep their small arts, incluiding their name? Pretty pleasee

A/N: I hope I did you justice!! I kept Izo off because I haven’t met him yet (Still in Wano!) but when I get to him I might revisit this and add it!

Characters: gn reader x Sanji, Zoro, Law

Cw: just cute fluff :) 

Total word count: 600

Graffiti on His Heart

Sanji

He finds your notebook by accident. He was cleaning up your room to surprise you, and found your binder in a pile of scattered files

You found him a few hours later, mesmerized by your drawings. You rush over to him, trying to cover it, but you see him staring at some decorated block letters “Sanji + Y/N” with a heart around it. 

There’s other things around it, quotes you’d heard from the crew and things that happened around the ship that you doodled to make cute page accents, and you can see Sanji’s eyes looking at every single thing you drew, his fingers sliding down the page as he looks. 

“You weren’t supposed to find that,” you say, your hands gripping around your notebook. 

“What?” his eyes are still on your pages even as you take them away. He looks up at you, and it’s like he just realized you were there. 

“Oh, Y/N!” He blushes hard when he realizes he's been caught snooping. “You never mentioned being an artist! This work is magnificent!”

“I dabble sometimes,” you say, closing it quickly. “Nothing fancy.”

“Nothing fancy?!!?” he scoffs. “You could design our logos! You could decorate this whole ship and give it some real character! You should talk to Franky!”

“Oh, thanks Sanji.” His compliment makes you blush. “But I don’t really like to show my work to others or show it off. I just use it as a creative outlet sometimes.”

“Oh!” He looks back at the notebook at smiles. “Well if you ever want someone to show it to, I would love to see the rest of them.”

You sheepishly give the notebook back to him, and the two of you flip through the rest of it together. 

Zoro

Zoro walks up to you while you’re sitting on the deck. “Is this yours?” he asks, holding your sketch binder. “I found it in our room. Never seen it before.”

He opens it and flips through it, and you jump up to grab it. “It’s some really good stuff,” he mumbles, and you snatch it out of his hands and snap it closed. 

“Thanks!” you say, holding it close to your chest. 

“Hey wait, I was still looking!” He reaches out for it but you pull away.

“It’s mine!” you say, taking a few steps back from him so he can’t leap forward and grab it. 

He huffs and rolls his eyes, turning away from you to go back to whatever he was doing. 

“It looked really good,” he called back to you. “I liked the themed pages you made for each crew members. Especially ours.” He winked at you and walked away without another word.

You’ll occasionally find your binder moved from where you last placed it, or find little extra things (like subtle lines or shading) added to doodles as proof that Zoro was occasionally checking it out, but he doesn’t comment on it or tell anyone else about it. He just waits for you to bring it up and show you again before he outwardly comments on how much he likes your work. 

Law

“Law,” you call out, walking into his office. “Have you seen my green binder anywhere?”

“Over here,” he yells from the back room. You walk into his lab to find it sitting on top of his books. He’s measuring out some kind of liquid, focused on getting it perfect. “I really liked what you did with our jolly roger on page three. I was thinking we could adopt it for some of the gear we have.”

“You looked through it?” you gasp, your eyes flicking over to your sketchbook. 

His gaze moves away from the beaker in front of him and over to you for a moment. “Was I not supposed to? It was on my desk.” 

You cursed silently. You had been doodling last night while he was reshelving some books, you must’ve left it behind when you all went to bed.

He stood up, abandoning his project to put his full attention on you now. “I didn’t know you liked to do graffiti and sketches. We could definitely spruce up the outside of the ship soon and use some of your designs, you know? Or have a crew wall in the common area. The names you did on page ten really captured the essence of each crew member, it’d be cool to have that displayed somewhere.”

You feel anxious at the thought, and Law can feel it. “You don’t have to,” he rushes to say. “It’s just a thought.”

“Can I think about it?” you ask, and he nods in agreement. 

“You should show them though. The others. You’re talented, and I’m sure they’d like to see it.”

He goes back to his work, and he doesn’t bring it up again, but he clears off a wall in the common room and sets out some spray paint if you ever feel up for it. And he always keeps his eye out for a chance to steal a glimpse of new work you’ve done in your green binder.

[liamlawsonlesbian]

it's officially past midnight here, which means that it's officially nine years since my mom died, more than a third of my life ago. it's the kind of bad thing where it's impossible to grasp the enormity of the badness of it. bc 99.5% of people who follow this blog don't know anything about my mom, here are some representative facts:

she read on average about 300 books a year, even when she was at her busiest — she didn't sleep much and would read in the night

her creative outlets of choice in adulthood were gardening, party planning, and sewing

her creative outlets of choice as a child were ballet and theater

she was a talented and successful attorney

her natural bluntness meant that she could be kind of a jerk, and she didn't suffer fools

she was a loyal and present friend

she read novels aloud to me starting when I was three, and didn't stop until she got sick when I was sixteen

she once turned in the same final paper to four different college classes - "if you think about it, Henry James is 19th and 20th century and English and American literature"

she would have killed me if I had ever pulled a stunt like the above bullet point

she developed deeply held pro-union convictions at the age of 9, much to the confusion and chagrin of her centrist parents

her accent was so good that when my parents were living in Argentina, people would say "vos sos de acá - pero tu esposo, de dónde es?"

she refused to speak Spanish with her daughters because "it's not the language of our relationship"

my parents got married very young; the last time she broke up with my dad before they got engaged, she told him "you're never going to be as good a writer as me" (wish I had had that kind of confidence at 19)

she loved babies

sometimes when she was talking to toddlers when her own children were older she would grab me or one of my sisters and go "this is MY baby"

she had the best taste in clothes

she got really mad about board games

she was my favorite person

[comfys]

Windenburg Bluffs - Part 1

Hey all! I'm back after a short break. I'm happy to share with you the final version of my build on the big lot on Windenburg's Crumbling Isle. This is the second large build I've done on this lot and I absolutely adore it. For this build I was inspired to create a larger version of my previous build on the beach nearby. My reference for the house was a real life modern farmhouse in California. I made it my own but kept many of the same elements. My favorite architectural elements are the skylights and the pergolas. I really love this style and am planning another smaller build on the island in Windenburg to round out this series before trying something different. For the interior, I wanted it to be modern but feel very inviting and comfortable. This home has 5 bedrooms. One of which is a large suite in the main structure with a walk-in closet and spacious bathrooms. Three additional bedrooms are located in a separate structure across from the pool, and a final bedroom is in the basement. The home features a pool, gym, sauna, theater room, artist's studio, and additional recreational rooms in the basement. There is also a detached garage. You can find the build on the gallery under my EA ID comfysims4, or by searching "Windenburg Bluffs", please remember to search with cc. As always, this build is packed to the rafters with cc. I understand that this amount of cc is not accessible for everyone, but The Sims is a creative outlet for me and I don't like to limit myself. I am not currently making cc lists, however if you have any questions about where items are from, please feel free to message or dm me. You should also check out my frequently used creators post.

[luthsthings]

Sims 4 x 10 Years!

Ten years ago today, I booked the day off on my work schedule and played a lot of Sims 4.

I'd been a Simmer since 2000, after one of my kids asked for the game because they'd seen it at a friend's house. I played The Sims, and then Sims 2, and then Sims 3. Sims 3 and my computer didn't get on too well, and I fought it a lot, wanting to play rotationally as a micromanager! When the Sims 4 trailers started coming out, I felt like they'd finally made a version of the game that was really for me, as a micromanaging rotational player who doesn't want to restart for new packs and new worlds, and who likes some quirk and exaggeration.  

So on September 2, 2014, I installed Sims 4. (I'd preordered, of course!) I downloaded trailer Sims from the Gallery (I still have a soft spot for Amber -- in one of my saves, back around 2015, she married Elvis Presley). I giggled at Sims sticking their fingers in their ear while they cooked. I got annoyed by the push-ups. I completely failed at making a roof. A Sim read a book while on the toilet and I was delighted. I took my Willow Creek Sim to visit the bar in Oasis Springs and enjoyed the view there (I like the dinos).

I made a self-Sim and spent lots of time tweaking her face till my husband came into the room, glanced at my monitor, and said, "Hey, that's actually you!" She's still my self-Sim (over on my avatar there). I just update her look now and then as I update my own.

I had a lot of fun, and I found myself using Sims as a new creative outlet in ways I hadn't so much before. I felt creative.

Eventually I confessed to my daughter that I'd actually played with my self-Sim. Here she is as a scientist back in 2015. Once upon a time, in an earlier version of the game, we -- me and my kids -- were playing with "us" in game and I died in a model rocket accident. This was traumatic and I was not supposed to play with "us" anymore. This time I did not die.

And here I am still playing! (But my hair went white.) I've had three-day saves and seven-year saves (RIP that save!). I've played every pack, but there are still base game things I haven't done! Sometimes I get really caught up in too much micromanaging with the game (townies really do often need fixing), then a new pack comes out and I try new things and it's a lot of fun again. It makes me laugh.

I've also made new friends in Sims communities and helped lots of Simmers keep playing the game. I started doing that back in 2014. A lot of the Sims community back then was focusing on what was bad about Sims 4. I was having fun with it, though, and enjoyed helping other people on the Forums who just wanted to do that.

That just kind of... morphed. It turned into some Forums posts gathering scattered info about upcoming packs from the various places SimGurus were saying things (I stopped doing those a couple of years ago -- there are websites gathering that info now, and a lot less places it turns up too). It turned into threads gathering info about mods that got broken in big game patches... and that was way back in 2015! I'm delighted that it turned into a whole thing in the community, with different places providing the info different ways. Getting to know the modding community after starting that has been a lot of fun. I even brushed off my old programming knowledge from high school and took over some mods from a modder I'd gotten to know well. I do like the lack of punch cards in modern programming!

I'm also super thankful to EA and Maxis for inviting me some years ago to be a Game Changer (the program that morphed into the EA Creator Network). I love the connections I have with other creators and storytellers and support people in the EACN, even if I feel really tiny next to the big names with their thousands and thousands of followers (but a quick thank you to my little group of Patrons! I appreciate you a ton!). I am also very appreciative of the gifted packs from EA that I receive as part of the EACN. They've helped make it a little bit easier to volunteer my time to supporting other Simmers, even if I do now have to put disclaimers on gameplay content I post, which sometimes feels a bit silly.

tldr: Happy 10th Birthday, Sims 4! I hope it's a fabulous one.

And now I'm going to grab some lunch, do some chores, then dive back into my current save. Cassandra has two love interests to consider, and that jewel is charging up. Plus she really needs a cat. And some actual income. And some improvements in her spellcasting (my previous save's Cassandra was a Mermaid). And that's not to start on Alexander building some skills before he heads off to uni for Robotics...

Psst... 

Don't forget to mark on your calendar the next anniversary. The Sims franchise will be 25 on February 4, 2025! 

[syoddeye]

You convince the 141 to play Dungeons and Dragons.

Disclaimer: This is clearly for shits and giggles. I've GM'd for a few years now, and I had to combine my first love, DnD, and my current obsession, COD. I stuck to Basic Rules content.

Somehow, you've convinced the 141 to play Dungeons and Dragons with you. You reason there's enough downtime for a decent campaign, and it might be nice to have another outlet that isn't exercise-based. After all, DnD is a collaborative and creative game - good for the ol' brain, right?

Kyle bought the Player's Handbook, printed extra character sheets, and picked up a set of dice. He's read the handbook, planned for the first three levels of his character, and has a backstory with all the important bits highlighted. He's easily the most prepared. The most excited, too, though he's a little sheepish about it. His first character is classic and highly strategic: Half-Elf Draconic Bloodline Sorcerer, with plans to multiclass into Paladin, Oath of Devotion.

Soap is equally excited as Kyle - for different reasons. He went a little nuts at the local game shop. Does he need more than one set of dice at this point? No. Does he have three, just in case? Yes. He also bought a miniature that corresponds with his character. He was torn about his character for weeks but ultimately chose a reliable build: Mountain Dwarf Barbarian, Path of the Totem Warrior.

John is skeptical. This isn't really his thing, but he'll entertain it and give it a go for you. Doesn't stop him from grumbling about it every time you ask how character creation is going, if he has any ideas about what class he wants to try, what kind of character he can see himself playing...Makes it a sweet surprise when he turns up with a used copy of the handbook, several pages dog-eared, and a bullet-point list of his character's background. His character surprises you too: Dragonborn Tempest Cleric, with plans to multiclass into a Battle Master Fighter.

Ghost shows little interest, but John convinces him to attend Session Zero at least. And, like John, getting information from him is like pulling teeth. One night, while up to use the restroom, you actually catch Ghost hunched over a player's handbook. If you didn't know any better, he's a little embarrassed to be seen  'studying'. When you turn to leave him alone, though, he pipes up - he's got questions. At Session Zero, he wordlessly presents the character you helped him with: Variant Human Rogue, Arcane Trickster. He might take a level or two in Warlock if he keeps playing. (He does.)

[lowkeyrobin]

Can i request the qsmp (whoever you want i don't mind) reacting to you taking care of their Egg/eggs while they we're somewhere away?

You don't have to write if you don't want to, have a nice day/night 💜💛

hello!! thank you for the request!! since I still wanna do tallulah I will just use another one of her parents (phil) because wilbur is a sack of shit!!! ; anyways thank you for the req, hope you enjoy! I was gonna do more but I don't know much about them just yet and stuff 😭🙏

QSMP ; taking care of their kids while they're away

includes ; tubbo & sunny, niki & empanada, phil, tallulah, & chyanne, quackity & pepito, foolish & leo

warnings ; language

masterlist

TUBBO & SUNNY

he asks if you can watch over sunny while he works on his machinery stuff for a bit and keep her entertained

he picked you because sunny loves you and she wanted you to watch over her anyways

bro you spoil her so bad 😭 tubbos clone fr

hes very grateful that you would watch over her though, he just didn't want her to get hurt and stuff

he kinda spies over you two playing around and smiles in the distance like "awee aren't they so cute?" with a little happy frown

rewards you with a flute for watching over her, even after you said you don't need anything to watch over your god-daughter

everytime you watch over sunny after that, you let her play with the flute and you practice around with her too

you're not the best flute-r but sunny likes it and that's all that matters

NIKI & EM

she had to go out and find cherry wood for a little add on to the bakery and left em in your care with the promise she'd repay you in sweet treats

you guys bake for a little and play around with tallulah and leo, basically playing house but at the bakery

niki comes back and sees you with three of the eggs like "where'd they come from? I was gone for like 20 minutes??"

"we were playing bakery"

em jumps about and places down a sign to say "look, ma! we made cakes :)"

gives you a little hug and thanks you for watching over em and tallulah & leo

"em, can you help me with the new room, honey?"

PHILZA, TALLULAH & CHYANNE

Phil and Missa had to leave the kids with you for some business stuff w the federation

good god are they little demon children

chyanne wants to play pvp with you and tallulah wants to show off her flute skills

you decide to negotiate and put their needs into one

you created a game of hide and seek with some of the other eggs, basically chyanne would use his sword to tag people out and tallulah would use her flute to lure him or hiders. hiders and chyanne wouldn't exactly know which team she'd be on each round which kept it fun

Phil comes back and takes a picture of you and tallulah hiding behind a rock from chyanne, who got a hold of your iron sword somehow 😭😭

"I'm home, kids!"

tallulah and chyanne instantly run to him and tell him about all the fun they had and how they want you as their babysitter when he has to leave

he thanks you graciously for watching over them and the other eggs and getting them to have some equal fun

he gifts you a new skateboard to repay you since cellbit stole your last one lmfao

10/10 will be watching over them again

FOOLISH & LEO

he left leo with you while he, tina, and quackity had to go on a little expedition for more resources because they wanted to build a McDonald's playplace for the eggs

you two go around the island and take pictures of the scenery, the buildings, the bugs, etcetera

he loves photography and it's like his creative outlet so of course he dragged you around the whole island

the long walk was nice and peaceful though, you both enjoyed yourselves

you make a little tree house with a slide to hide from the thunder and lightning, since it randomly started thunderstorming

they love you so much and love how you understand their passion for building and photography

like that one post, "yeah they're mentally adults but they're still children"

like yeah, leo is a professional photographer but of course they need you to change the batteries, that's just how it works bro

QUACKITY & PEPITO

"Y/nnnnnn, can you watch over Pepito for me?"

he had to go do some Federation shit, as per usual apparently

you guys pick flowers together when the night falls since he struggles with sleeping sometimes

he tells you about how much he loves his foolish (his grandfather/mother) and asking when quackity will be back

you just kinda look at him in silence for a moment and say "I dunno, bud, but soon. I'll be here for you though"

he dresses up as Spiderman and you dress up as the Green Goblin and play superheroes most of the days

eventually, quackity returns, fucking like 3 days later

he gives both of you large hugs and thanks you, and repays you with some blackstone that you needed for a build

"pa, we played superheroes all day!!"

"Oh, did you?" He chuckles

[cupofteainme]

So many weird choises with the social media plot. It didn't work for me for three reasons.

First: It's stupid

The royal court left Simon and Wille completely alone to deal with the media. The court with a massive PR-team relies on the troubled 16-year-old prince to keep his boyfriend's social media behavior in check. Okay. I guess everyone in the court were busy trying to bring some life into Ludvig while Kristina was too sad and no-one thought to give her pills before episode six 🥲 (good thing that hearing how bad parent she is cured her depression)

I read a theory that leaving Wille to handle Simon's social media was intentional on the court's part to drive a wedge between Wille and Simon. It's a good theory if you believe in the evil monarchy (I guess Lisa does). I didn't see any indication about it in the show though. In episode 3 after Simon posts the First of May photo, Farima tells Wilhelm, "Talk to him. Or we will." This makes me think that it was Wilhelm and Simon in the first place who denied the court to have any contact with Simon. That I can believe at some level.

Simon would want his autonomy, but I don't understand his naivety concerning social media, especially since he recently was a victim of a grave online violation and got unwanted attention because of it. I assumed that he was already laying low in regards to social media after the sex video.

Wille was trying to talk to Simon about not posting with sensitivity and he apologises that Simon must do accomodations because of his Crown Prince status. Why didn't Simon listen at all?

Second: It doesn't fit the narrative

I have a hard time understanding why Simon felt so erased after deleting his social media. It was never established in YR universe that social media meant so much to Simon unlike in the case of Felice, for whom it played a big part in season one. She used it to create a version of herself that she felt other people wanted to see. In YR posting on social media has often been about conveying an image: Felice at the stables despite not wanting to ride, August posing at the gym while suffering from eating disorder. It didn't fit the show's use of social media that an authentic person like Simon would feel so sad about deleting his account.

I got the impression that Simon used little social media. It was implied that it was for example his first song that he posted (he got a comment that was surprised he could sing). So social media hadn't been an outlet where he commonly shared his creativity. Simon seemed to be sorry to delete pictures of people he saw all the time anyway, family and close friends. It's not good storytelling that we didn't see any foreshadowing about Simon's feelings towards social media earlier in the show. 

Third: It breaks my heart

The part that actually makes me cry is that it was established in season one that Wille and Simon truly see each other despite their differences. Wille was the first one in Hillerska to treat Simon friendly and be interested in him and it made Simon feel special and seen. In the same way Simon saw Wilhelm as a person first rather than a prince. Isn't that a big part why we fell in love with their love? Isn't Wille the person that makes Simon feel seen and not strangers in his social media? 😭

There where so many things that created or could have created drama between them; the drugs, August, Micke, their different backgrounds, homophobia, classism. I don't think that Simon posting was a needed storyline in the show.

Sorry to be a complete romantic, but the way Simon looks at Wille from season one—I thought he'd happily toss his phone to the lake to finally be with this boy.

[sirfrogsworth]

It's hard to be nostalgic about Tumblr without remembering my friend Tru.

Truett McGowan.

What a fantastic name.

We met each other because we were both tech geeks following Leo Laporte. He was the very first live streamer. Originally he hosted a TechTV cable show called The Screen Savers. But once G4 took over and focused more on video games, Leo's show was cancelled and he was looking for a new way to broadcast content.

So he built a studio near his home and created his own infrastructure in order to live stream video on the internet. He called his new show "This Week in Tech" or TWiT for short.

Along with his new streaming venture he created a TWiT community using an open source microblogging platform called Laconica. It was a form of Twitter that you could create specifically for a single community. Basically a custom niche Twitter feed. I was trying to be a web designer back then, so I created custom themes for Lacnonica.

This was my own personal theme for a website that I ended up never launching.

Leo called his custom Twitter, "The TWiT Army." And I was his graphic designer and webmaster. I made all of the cute little graphics for the website.

I also did fun holiday themes...

For the Thanksgiving theme, if you hovered over the Turkey it would change to being cooked.

I also took it upon myself to photoshop a little army helmet on the avatar of every single user of the site.

This was the zombie avatar I made for myself during Halloween.

The TWiT Army was also where I started posting my first attempts at Photoshop comedy. Many of them related to The TWiT Army.

And The TWiT Army is where I met Tru. He used a space invader avatar. I made him a couple of different versions.

You may have seen his avatar on the sidebar of my main Tumblr.

We became fast friends. We finished each other's jokes. We talked pretty much all day, every day. He loved Apple back then. I was strictly PC at the time. So we debated about that quite a bit. He would probably be astonished I have a MacBook and that I really love it too.

Our friendship lived in a little text box. We never talked outside of instant messages. But it was one of the most profound friendships of my life. I loved Tru just as much as any friend I've ever known in real life.

Tru started blogging on this brand new site called Tumblr. He reviewed apps for the iPod Touch. Not the iPhone, as that wasn't yet a thing.

I made the banner for his Tumblr.

He kept trying to get me to join Tumblr, but I was busy trying to create my own custom comedy website. But my site kept getting more and more complicated and I could never quite finish it. I was trying to arrange guest authors and create 3 months of content and I was always futzing with the theme and never happy with it.

I was getting frustrated that I could never launch my perfect comedy website and Tru suggested just making a Tumblr and posting funny stuff so I could be creative and have an outlet until my big site was ready to launch.

Little did I know Tumblr would end up being my big comedy website. Eventually I abandoned months of work and just stayed on Tumblr. All of my success here is pretty much because that little space invader pestered me to join when I was being stubborn.

Unfortunately, as some may have figured out already, the story gets sad from there. Tru mentioned briefly that he had a heart defect, but he never said it was serious. He acted like it was no big deal so I never thought too much about it.

We always talked through instant message and email, so we never exchanged phone numbers or addresses or anything like that. Tru was a very private person so he never even published an image of his face online. I only knew him as a space invader.

One day I woke up and sent him a message and got no reply. He usually woke up before me and answered as soon as I said hello. This had been our routine for nearly a year.

An hour went by. Two hours. Three hours.

It was odd for him not to respond for that long. I was really worried but all of my TWiT friends told me I was being paranoid. But there was a huge knot in my stomach telling me otherwise.

But then those hours turned into days. Days into weeks. Weeks into months. My worry grew exponentially as more time passed. I didn't know what to do. I tried finding his family. I even looked into hiring a private investigator. I don't know if I have ever felt a combination of depression & anxiety that intense.

In my heart, I knew what had happened. I knew that heart defect took his life. He was only 26 and it just didn't seem fair. But the not knowing for certain ravaged my mental health. Before all of this I had lost nearly 90 pounds and I gained it all back.

I think maybe a year or so later I found a friend of his who knew him in real life. They were finally able to confirm my suspicions. He passed away from his heart condition. That was my first real experience with grief. But I was so thankful for that bit of closure. I was finally able to let go of my anxiety and mourn him properly.

But Tru gave me such a wonderful gift. He pushed me to just start making things. To stop stalling and just create things to make people smile.

And you all probably know the rest from there.

[gabessquishytum]

This has been haunting my head forever, but as we all know Robert Smith was the leading inspiration for Dream in the comics with more than a bit of Neil sprinkled in there (and a few other goth rock bands like Bauhaus' Peter Murphy) and I just can't get over the image of a goth rockstar Dream.

It's the late 70s, and our boy Dream is riding a creative high of LSD and pedal effects to the top of the pops. They're calling the band he fronts, name and members are up to you or whoever takes this idea on, Goth bc they're too dark for New Wave but are just upbeat enough to steer clear of Televison's particular brand of Post-Punk. It's a newer label but a fitting one considering how dour and moody the genre has gotten since Ian Curtis's death. One he despises as he claims he's very happy with his current success and how his life is going.

But he's not happy. He hates playing to the newly forming stereotype of his fans, but he isn't. Celebrity Marriages hardly ever last and his relationship with his novelist wife is crumbling around him. He loves his son but the touring schedule is killing all of his free time. He's also pretty deep into substance abuse but he wouldn't admit it to his big sister let alone the random journo who has a camera in his face while he's trying to catch a 5:30 am flight to start his newest tour. He's just burnt out and creatively stuck as the label tries to pigeonhole him into this new subgenre, which he doesn't want anymore. Life, his life, can't be doom and gloom forever even though that's where it looks like it's heading. Forever being hailed as the Nightmare King.

Meanwhile, three radio stations over, Hob Gadling is desperately trying to hang onto life. He's a bit older now than when he first broke out onto the music scene as a rambunctious coat rider of the Sex Pistols, but he's still going strong. Punk has always been his outlet. Life sucks and you keep on living despite it. It tried to kill him not long after he debuted with substance use, but he powered through it and got clean. His wife died in childbirth, but he stuck around to raise his son. He even took a three-year hiatus and completely missed how much the sound had changed from his younger years. Even as post-punk has risen in popularity and the friends he knew have either died or changed their sound completely, he won't give up hope! Punk's not dead and neither is he. No matter how long his hair gets or if he grows out of his leather jacket.

The two meet rather coincidentally. Hob just happens to be opening for Dream on the Europe leg of his tour. Unsurprisingly the tension around Dream's band has become a powder keg and when he finally snaps and fires his guitarist, his bassist also leaves. With half the band gone, Dream considers calling it quits right then and there. Fuck the new album, fuck the last fifteen or so dates. He wants to go home. But Hob sees how close they are to finishing the tour and puts his foot down. They will finish the tour! So he offers up his services to Dream. He's not bad with a guitar and if Dream can cover the bass, then he'll play all night if he has to. Because out there on stage? That's life and he wants to keep making people happy and give them something that might transcend time and space. To never die bc his name is there among the annuls of rock history.

And in time, Dream will come around to his new friend. He will learn to appreciate the zest for performing and living his new friend has. He will also think he has the greatest body known to man and will forever laugh at the terribly done anarchy A Hob has tattooed on his ass, but that's neither for here or there. For now, Dream pulls himself together and gets his bass out from the dark pits of hell the roadies call gear storage. For the show must go on.

Oh god I want an entire novel length story around this. It’s fantastic! I have so many thoughts about these two!!

Hob is falling in love with all the new sounds that he’s hearing. He spent his time on his hiatus being a suburban dad, and now he’s back on the scene is just feels amazing. He can’t get enough of Roxy Music and David Bowie and Elvis Costello. And he’s determined to drag himself back up among those names! He’s got so many ideas of where punk can go! And he’s fascinated by Dream and his band. The lyrics are a little dark and wallowy, but Hob understands that actually people need to hear that. Life in the UK isn’t easy, particularly for young people. They need something loud and desperate and real. Little does he know, Dream feels like what he’s doing is so far away from being real. He feels likes such a fraud. He can’t get off the hamster wheel except by shooting up and passing out.

Hob recognises all of this in approximately 0.5 seconds after meeting Dream. It makes him pretty sad, but he’s determined that he’ll lift Dream out of his funk. If nothing else, he’ll make him love music again.

So when Hob said he was OK with a guitar, he was lying - he's actually a bit of a genius, and it's fair to say that Dream falls a little bit in love with him about half way through the sound check. Instead of hiding in the dressing room and licking his wounds over the band breaking up, he actually watches as Hob opens for him. Hob is very classic punk, it's all very "fuck the government, fuck me up the arse" kind of stuff, but Dream doesn't get bored for a single second. Hob is just that entertaining, and his riffs are insane. Dream itches to write a song for him. And when Hob ends the set with a jokey little song that his five year old son allegedy wrote the lyrics for (lil Robyn is very punk, just like his daddy) Dream’s eyes actually get a bit misty. It's probably all the smoke.

And there's really no time to get emotional! Dream’s drummer, Constantine, thankfully didn't walk out with the rest of them. So somehow, with Hob’s virtuosic guitar skills and sheer determination, plus Dream’s refusal to fail yet again, they actually make a really decent show. Dream feels a tingle of the old spark that he used to get when he first started out - it probably has something to do with the way Hob upends a bottle of water all over his head half way through the show and grins like a maniac.

After the show they crash in a local hotel. Hob calls his kid from the payphone and Dream wishes that he had the courage to do the same. Instead he takes some pills so he doesn't have to feel the high from the show gradually wearing off into nothingness. He doesn't know why Hob comes and sits next to him in the dark, pressing against him from thigh to shoulder. He stays for the whole of Dream’s trip, in fact, humming something quiet and classic. Dream feels quite ashamed of himself, and for the first time he thinks that maybe he'd feel better without the drugs. Maybe.

As the tour gets off to a slow start, Dream starts to notice that Hob is having some kind of positive effect on him. Just little thing. They get breakfast together, so Dream actually eats something, which is unusual. Their little arguments don't get out of hand, because Hob never lets them escalate. When Dream is angry and spitting at the world, Hob is sure to point of something positive. Not that Hob doesn't get sad, too - he just deals with it differently. He goes for long walks, and turns off the news when it gets bad. He gets himself a snack when he's irritable, and laughs about it afterwards.

Dream writes him a near impossible guitar solo and it feels like a "thank you".

They have a sweet, unexpected first kiss. It's 2am and they're standing at the edge of the road, waiting for a mechanic to come out to their broken down tour bus. There's no one around to see, so Dream rests his head on Hob’s shoulder. He's sore, and weary. Hob turns his head slightly and tucks an arm around him, and it just happens. They kiss. It is, of course, the first of many.

And you can bet that Dream kisses that anarchy tattoo a million time, too.

[athanwritesthings]

No Judgement || Reader x TJD [request]

A/N: I wanted to preface with this, this is a request for a more platonic relationship with reader & TJD. I will be making more of these throughout time, either with the group as an entirety, or a specific person in the group. <33

word count: 1,104

summary: you, a WWE Creative, have spent majority of your day after work, working. Rhea, Dominik, Damian, and Finn see you've been hard at work when they get home. this initiates your group of close knit friends/platonic soulmates to take action and make sure you've taken care of you, no judgement at all.

All too often, time was never something I had been good at keeping, lost in the words on the page, or on the screen of my laptop, the faint light being the only thing illuminating my face. Sometimes, the quiet click of my keyboard was the only thing to be heard as I would sit there, building the world on paper in a way, instead of building it in my head as I'd read. On other occasions, it was theater and plays, seeing how many expressed themselves through some sort of acting. It was often that I was lost in my own world, spilling everything in my mind onto paper. When you've grown up with the comforts of these things, it sticks and never lets go. Reading, writing and theater was my thing, my outlet. That was why I found myself lucky for loving the arts, setting myself right into a seat on the Creative team.

Tonight was no different. I sat in my office at home, face almost void of expression, the faint light of my laptop illuminating my face, fingers tirelessly typing out scripts and any ideas that I had that could possible work, even in the slightest bit. Hours had to have passed, with a couple bathroom breaks possibly every couple hours or so. As much as the back of my head told me to stop, nothing had really pulled my focus. Even when I heard their footsteps, their talking and laughter. Even when I felt eyes looking at me from where I sat.

If I had been aware of my surroundings, I'd actually hear Rhea, Dom, Damian and Finn's hushed voices talking to each other, discussing on if they'd know if I had eaten, drank anything, or even relaxed. And I would not only learn that Rhea and Dom were leaving to the new Italian restaurant that it wouldn't take long for Rhea and Dom to leave to the new Italian restaurant that we had gone to a few weeks ago, and that they'd be back soon with the most mouthwatering Fettuccine Alfredo, as that had been my absolute favorite. I would also know that they planned to bring my hydro, filled with fresh ice water to make sure I drank. Or even that Damian and Finn were getting snacks from the store for us all, just for a movie night to get my mind off of work.

It all quieted again once they had dispersed, though I didn't exactly know when the talking stopped, it not threatening to cross my mind again anyways. With uncertainty in my mind, I leaned back some in my chair, my eyes looking at the screen. A small scowl slowly paints my face, reading everything over one… two… even three times. How had I gotten this far without really looking at what I wrote? Just to see if I liked it? I huffed, leaning forward and selecting everything. My finger, finding it's place on the "Backspace" button, froze, still hovering over it in just the slightest.

My gaze, finally having broken from the laptop screen, looks over to the hand on my water bottle. I… hadn't brought that in. Had I? Finally fully looking up, I see Rhea, with Dom close behind, standing beside me. The light was on now, and the sun had set. "You lost track of time again, didn't ya?" Was the first thing said to me, only responding back with a simple nod. "And I'm assuming you haven't ate?" This time, shaking my head. Dom takes a couple steps up and around Rhea, a smile forming on his face as he looked at me, showing the box to me.

Many would see little things, like this, from them as possibly concerned significant others/partners. Coupled with homemade meals that may sometimes seem like a lot for packed lunches, pictures of us and the other members of TJD on Insta (or anywhere else really,) that shared how close we were, or even how much Rhea and Dom cared, one may solidify in their own head that we were all three something… that just wasn't it.

Rhea and Dom were simply just platonic. They knew me well, knew how my brain ticked and clicked. What things kept me flowing, and what things didn't. They weren't my romantic partners. In all cases, they fit in my definition of those platonic soulmates, just a little bit above best friends. Day in, day out, they took opportunities to care, and had loved me for me. Just as platonic soulmates/friends did.

Snapping back to reality, smelling the food finally, my eyes lit up. "Is that… Is that from the new place we tried once before, with the good fettuccine alfredo?" Was all that left my lips, Dom grinning wide as he walked over, chewing his gum as usual. 'Yeah, we figured it's been a bit, might as well get it again for you…' He'd respond, handing me the box and a fork.

Rhea, pulling up a spare chair I had in my office, sits next to me, her gaze landing on the screen. "Am I allowed to read this?" She asks, looking at me first, before even thinking of reading further. I nod as I take my first bite, internally smiling. Dom, wanting to read it too, leans forward on Rhea's chair, his chin resting on the top of her head. A few moments of silence, then a surprised look for just a split second. "You were going to delete this? Y/N this is good so far…"

"It is good. But… come take a break. Damian and Finn are gonna be back with snacks and everything. We wanted to all watch a movie. Would be a great time for you to take a break." Dom's grin had returned as his chin raised from the top of Rhea's head to look at me, an excited look in his eyes.

Part of me knew that I couldn't say no either, I needed the break. I had been relentlessly working all day and I could eventually burn myself out. "You're coming to watch the movie, Y/N. You deserve the break." Rhea's voice was stern, yet kind.

What kind people they were. I acted like I was thinking about it, before actually deciding to respond. I criss cross my legs and lean forward as I begin.

"Okay, okay, fine! But on one condition," I still act as if I'm thinking when I speak, before jabbing the air, towards them with my fork. "I get to choose the movie."

"Deal." The two of them said in unison, goofy grins on their faces.