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the-zapped-part-timer · 3 months

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Penn Zerothon Day 8

3 Big Problems🏝

My Ramblings: Dodge ball showdown! I don't think you're allowed to kick the balls but whatever, it's Sashi, she don't care! Boone just straight up sacrificing people for shields is so out of left field it's comes back to being funny. Penn is pretty big brain here but, wow, what a dirty move using some firefighter's bell and pretending it's the school bell! How do they have time for this? All for the promise of pizza!? Either way, Sashi's blank expression is beautiful. We've all felt that.

And then that was the tragic end of Penn Zero. What a fun little show, if only he didn't cheat. Joking aside, Phyllis was straight up gonna send his ass to the sun because she thought he had Pandorian Moon Warts... savage. Is it really that bad? I guess so. At least she apologized.

He's so excited to just be a lizard, honestly? So would I. Nice Geico reference.

Love the twist in this episode, you'd think Rippen and Larry would be the kaiju, because in most media, kaiju are depicted as city-destroying, rage-fueled monsters but the other side of that spectrum, they can be good! Take Godzilla for instance, can either be a nuclear bomb or a protector of humanity. It would've also been easy to make the Duo evil monsters and have an awesome kaiju battle... damn, that actually does sound cool. Anyways, they make them human bad guys, not too dissimilar to The Iron Giant.

Like the detail of Sashi's mission display being humongous, just like them. And the detail of when Penn talks, small flames spew from his mouth.

KAIJU WILHELM!

How did Boone know he could toot his horn? Bringing back a classic Larry gag but with a simple twist to it, it's short.

The eyebrow checking joke between Ripoen and Madame President, like so many, have been ingrained into my mind forever. It's so dumb but good. During Rippen's spiel, Larry is so serious looking and laser focused, I love him.

TNT Museum... very American thing. But this isn't America, it's Island City, baby! Penn talking down to the humans for the city planning is so hilarious, makes him sound like he was never a human before. Love the delivery.

Have I mentioned my uneasiness for disaster movies? I just hate how that could just happen and I'd be screwed. Even if it's as farfetched as Kaiju or very unnatural disasters, it wigs me out. I hate thinking about what I'd do in that situation. Especially two movies that terrified me... one of them is dumb but the other... I hate thinking about so much, makes my stomach twang in anxiety a bit.

Why doesn't Sashi speak for Penn? I thought because he's an ape and there go, he can speak to humans? But no, Penn can talk to them, but you, fire. So why not Sashi?

I'd be on Rippen's side if I didn't know anything at all. I think the President is crazy, which she's a little... quirky. Just saying, way too much trust! Why hasn't she gone and talked to the Kaiju before hand if she likes them that much? The island was there before and it takes awhile to build a city on an island I'm sure.

And here's these two, Eva (President) and Larry... man said, like, two sentences and is already smitten, and drawing Larry all muscular as he carries her in his big, strong arms... Ma'am! It's a good quick doodle, I'll give her that but MA'AM!? Thank you, Rippen for taking her pen away. When she calls him handsome and rugged, he does take the compliment to Rippen slight surprise (and possible jealousy? Who knows with that guy). I do like her, by the way! She's hilarious in her deliveries and mania behind half of them.

Her logic makes sense, you want an easy code to the Monster Buster Bomb (tm) but also you want a more secure code to the Monster Buster Bomb (tm), just as secure as Rippen's diary. Which of course he has, I want to read it. I need to read it! Hey! Do give each other that look, men can have diaries too!

The "tell my best friend I love him" scene is so cute, Boone's even holding Penn's claw hand! ARGH! Sashi just cutting that shit out! Snap out of it, stupids, we're playing dodge ball with bombs!

WHY WOULD YOU BUILD YOUR CITY NEXT TO A VOLCANO!? MY FEARS! Rippen, you're a hopeless coward! I'm sure he's fine with that.

And see that? The instant Eva and Larry are alone and she offers a final dinner together, he nopes right out of there! Man is not interested at the least. Which says a lot, we know Larry, he's down for a lot of things but not this. I'm sure another reason is that he wanted to follow Rippen but still stands, we saw his face.

Hey, Boone gets called a genius way sooner. Good for him.

Iconic line from Madame President: "Bologna." Huh, the "G" is silent. That can't be my last thought!

"Let's focus on the positive!" Girl, the power grid, sewer system, and literally everything else needs to be addressed ASAP!

~The Characters~

Penn Zero:

Boone Wiseman:

Sashi Kobayashi:

Rippen:

Larry:

Dimension(s): Love me some giant monsters!

Forms: We have Godzilla, King Kong, and Mothra or Battra (I don't know for sure). All very fun and fitting forms. I like Penn's the most but Sashi's is really cute and Boone being a ape is the perfect match.

Rippen and Larry, while plain, look very good in those uniforms.

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Cereal Criminals🥣

My Ramblings: ART CLASS, FINALLY! Now we finally see Rippen as an art teacher, 8 episodes in! Starting it off with good Rippen and Penn banter. Also see that Larry is the principal! I'm sure Rippen just loves the thought of Larry being the boss of him everyday at school. And we see Pigoilet, Boone's favorite creation ever. I believe we did see in an early episode but I don't remember which, besides the Pilot. Sashi's are looks really nice! Looks like she may have used painters tape or something like that to get that all nice and straight, makes sense.

Is this the first time a teacher evaluation is used? Or is it the first time that the reward is Larry's parking spot? Probably the ladder.

What hell is must be to half to deal with that in the morning, water sprinkler row. When Boone says: "It appears that the glove is on the other shoe." Rippen is listening and watching Boone's hand so intently, it's funny. He looks like a cat.

Damn Penn, already planning to obliterate Rippen's teacher evaluation. Stone cold. I get it, he's evil and gives you nothing but F-'s. Still stone cold.

The jingles, I love them! Those being physically there, especially when Boone can read the kale flakes in water bit is icing on this cereal cake!

Love that they just assume Rippen is the Milkman, it makes sense. The Milkman himself? Boy, if I had a nickel for every milkman character I like, I'd have two nickels. Which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice. I love unsettling Milkmen! Can you guess the other one? I love how he talks, his design and his ads!

I'd struggle to if I had to say "crispity crunch crop" fast and with a silly voice too.

There's just a guy guarding the outside of Marshmallow Dreams Maximum Security Prison (great name)! Like just a human guy, I know there are human mascots and characters but it's... weird.

Did somebody say, WILHELM SCREAM!? And order a Silence of the Lambs homage?

"Do you like our place?" Larry says in the most adorable way followed with the cutest pose! Your honor, I love him to bits! "You've been here five minutes!" "I take our home seriously." Married couple core Rippen and Larry.

Larry seems kind of embarrassed and guilty-looking about the reason Otis the Opossum ended up in prison. His big wet eyes, poor little guy.

THE BEST SONG EVER! It's literally my ringtone! I sang that constantly, it's so catchy! Do all yourselves a favor and go listen to it again!

Teacher evaluation? Good for leverage. Rippen's little ear perks as Penn pushes all the right buttons, so cute! I wanna pet him!

Here we get Rippen's villain spiel: He's driven by his need to outdo his sister, Vlurgen. This man has some family issues, of course he does. His mama and papa always favored her more, which sadly, we do see later. She has everything he wants, a really evil car, a different magical scepter for everyday of the week, and competent evil henchmen. I like he says "no offense" to Larry, he's growing. Penn is stuck with the knowledge of Rippen's family woes. Just on and on with this guy, it's like he's stalling for time or something...

He is! 3 o'clock hits and they can't stop the Milkman, so Rippen wins, he's finally a full-time villain! HOORAY! Wait, I mean... boo? I mean SIKE! Big Brain Penn Time! He had Sashi set the prison clock back an hour during the pest song number. Everybody clap for them!

Question: How did Larry have that trap ceiling for balloons, cake and the full-time villain hat? Who cares! Also interesting Rippen calls his whole spiel a "blabberfest" like he was making it up or playing it down, but no, all stand very true. He's so downtrodden by this trick.

"I'm going on a milk run." Hard line delivery.

One of the few times that kale saves the day.

Milkman is so OP, it's ridiculous. But he's defeated in the most cursed way imaginable, get slurped into Penn's trunk... eck. Now that looks like, well, certain artwork.

Well, Rippen got a plow of an L, but thankfully an elephant never forgets. Why did he say "generosity" like that with his entire face? Because I wanna emulate that.

The smile at the end. :)

~The Characters~

Penn Zero: He's very smart in this episode. He uses Rippen's desire for the teacher evaluation to get him to talk, and when he correctly assumes that Rippen's need to win, he has the time set back just in case. Even though he did betray them, Penn keeps to his word and gives him a good evaluation, even though he wanted to obliterate him.

Boone Wiseman: No one knowing or liking him as Be Well Beaver is realistic. I like that he's has a slightly out of touch design and lingo us a nice touch, people who want to sell healthy stuff don't exactly know how.

Sashi Kobayashi: She has a gun and I'm sad she didn't get to use it more.

Rippen: We get to learn a lot more about him this episode. His deep-seated rage against his sister and the desire for his parent's attention. Sadly, we don't really get to see any more of this until the "Mr. Rippen" episode. Besides that, he is just as hilarious and devious as ever. Even when he's makes a deal to get a good teacher evaluation, he still backstabs them for the chance of being a full-time villain. He's lucky Penn felt nice that day.

Larry: He's so damn adorable, I couldn't take my eyes off him! He's just trying to make the prison cell look nice.

Dimension(s): Love this world, so fun and creative! It's also very interesting that the mascots are all real in their dimension, just here the mascots are real people. Must be mind-boggling. It's like seeing or reading about an actor and thinking: "Oh yeah, so-and-so from that show I know." But with cereal. Basically being zapped a semi-celebrities in a way.

Forms: Such fun and tasty designs! From chocolate elephant, fruity flamingo and healthy beaver cereals, I'm obsessed with all of them! Each have their own fun strengths, Penn and his trunk, Boone and his beaver skills, and Sashi with her gun! AND THE CUTE LITTLE JINGLES!? I CAN'T!

There's a brand of cereal I see sometimes that's chocolate and has an elephant on it and everytime I'm like: CHOCO CHOCO TRUNKS!? But alas, they aren't.

Wolverine Rippen and Opossum Larry? Adorable. Especially Larry, me and my bestie love Otis! They even quote him from the later episode! And the name Wrong Way Wally goes hard.

#PZPTH #Penn Zero: Part-Time Hero #Penn Zerothon #3 Big Problems #Cereal Criminals

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hospitalterrorizer · 1 year

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diary4

hi, i did go to melt banana today, and i just got done putting hydrogen peroxide (somehow, just forgot what that was for a few seconds, i guess because i'm so sore all over) on my knees cuz they got bashed on the stage, i was right up front the whole night in the middle.

there's a pic of me my gf took, where i basically was the whole time they were on except i sort of slid farther and farther and right over the duration of the show because of crowd currents but there were 3 other bands, one was a really good local crust duo called swamp brain, bass and drums only, they'd also get really sludgy which was sick, and the third band right before melt banana was another really good grindy hardcore band called life's torment, both of these were local, agata was in the crowd during life's torment's set (awkward thing to say/write). there's not a lot to say about them, i think as far as local bands i've seen around here beyond my friend's band, this is the most absorbed by the music i've been honestly, i didn't mosh or anything during their sets, there wasn't a pit anyways, i don't know how much that disappointed them or disappointed the people in the crowd. i stood there and just absorbed the music, cuz idk how long lived these acts have been/will be, and it's not unlikely that it'll be the case that they can't get much recorded.

during swamp brain i did have a funny thought, about how hipsters, because the drummer kind of was perfectly hipster looking, glasses beard hat, a specific sort of shorts + band shirt thing, love sludge metal. this is the case for myself, it's the kind of metal i tend to like the most, at least, so i wasn't judging the band really but it also felt mean, like i don't know, like i was imagining he didn't have cred. but who has cred. it's all spectacle anymore. cred is dumb mostly.

the 2nd band, as i am, were really baffling, it was like 4 father-aged men kind of just doing their own things each. the singer really wanted to do rap rock so he'd go for it, while the drummer, who had an absolutely huge kit that included windchimes and a triangle on their own weird sort of lovingly crafted stand, tried to drum as prog as possible. the guitarist played, i dunno, he just played i guess, and the bassist was wearing this mortally faded mayhem sleeveless shirt, an unbelievable thing to think about was how he and the guitarist probably played much weirder stuff together and tried to get other guys to join, and it sort of became a weird cock rock disaster. they didn't even seem to know who they were opening for, and also, a huge cluster of old people came up front for that band. really strange stuff, they must have some kind of following. i have no clue about whether or not that's local or not.

we did get a t-shirt, also, i'm excited to wear that. speaking of that yesterday i talked about how i planned/scheduled my getting ready period and a lot of today was spent languishing / waiting on showering/shaving so i could pluck (lol cuz when am i ever going to get laser hair removal) as much hair from my face as possible. and then i showered which was normal and stuff and then i tried to do my hair in a bouffant but i don't think i'm ever going to get my hair in a bouffant and that makes me a little sad or maybe horrifically sad because it would be perfect i think but i'm too dumb to figure it out or my head is just not good for that really. so my hair's got a bunch of spray and hair clay in it and it was big and fucked up, at least. then i tried like 3 outfits on in a kind of rush, the first two were way too pretty/nice and i was kind of cunt about that because i wanted badly to wear them but my gf told me it was a bad idea and i was resistant for whatever reason. i'm really annoying like that and i wish i weren't but being told not no but that's a bad idea is worse than just being told no i think, for me, which is dumb because someone's trying to save your feelings but it just feels worse/ gently condescending i guess. i should be less stupid. i settled on a really fun thing i think, at least, which is more fun cuz i was trying to do a 60s dress w/ a belt in the middle thing but w/ a tshirt and dress layered under. it's at least the thought process that went into that. the trying outfits on kind of sucked because the whole time i was worried about my gf's mom showing up to take us there early so we could eat before the show.

anyways here's the look pre show:

and here's one after the show:

look at how my sweat interacts w/ the hairspray, so grody!

and god my back hurts rn and my shoulders too.

also today i did not wake up early or work on music like i wanted to, which sucks, and i didn't really write and that sucks and makes me feel bad/lazy/whatever, kind of dumb i guess. i feel dumb and worry about feeling dumb and never want to feel dumb always, constantly, i want to get out of my own head so badly a lot but it sucks and i can't, i want to be perfect always too and that's making me crazy right now kind of, it's at the back of my heart, it's inching in and it'll take it over and i'll walk in circles a bunch some day soon but not now, so there's dread that makes it harder to approach all the things i am working on and want to do. i want to cry now talking about this, and lay down and curl up and stuff.

during the show i got so sweaty that my mascara leaked into my eyes and i had to wipe them on my bag but it kept burning and i was crying because of that, and that felt good/interesting, the fact i was suffering and the loudness of everything, in retrospect i'm really happy about experiencing that and all the people shoving me, and the moments where i got to dance in my little spot up front, communing as best i could with the total noise of the band, the only other show like that i've been to was the machine girl show in reno i went to 4-5 years ago. i think this one could have been better, as a show, the crowd experiences were a little different, i think machine girl's crowd felt so extremely positive, a narrow group showed up for that, all weird and mostly gay, in reno which is a miserable place, so the dispersal of energy was kind of total, everyone was aiming at excess and i guess we all met it together. w/ melt banana it was getting there with the band and my friends, but moshing/dancing felt like i had to weaponize myself sort of, to protect from these really dumb people trying to rush to the front and guys who just kind of, i dunno, threw themselves against me/anyone just cuz i guess. one guy was awful in particular because he was grabbing me/anyone who looked like a girl, he started getting his nails involved too i remember, and he'd get really close on my ass too somethimes, and just try and pull you away/push you out because he wanted to be up front so badly. he was some dumbass in a denim jacket, i had to sock him in the ribs at one point because he got too aggressive w/ me and everyone else up front that didn't look tough, i guess. he retaliated (obv) which isn't bruising or anything it seems but like i said he and a bunch of other people made my knees get all fucked and i spent myself so totally i can hardly walk straight. even typing sort of hurts. so you know that this is like a labor of love, i think, right.

anyways, i know it sounds like i really hated the crowd but i didn't, mostly, i just think crowds at these types of shows can get very annoying, and w/r/t weaponizing myself, i wore chelsea boots that have heels and i was jumping up and down and i know i was landing on people's feet. sorry but fuck you kind of, i guess, maybe i was as bad as anyone else, i also feel like that's just how you assert some claim over space i guess. i dunno. all i wanted and what i got was communication w/ the music, it really overpowered me and being made blind because of my makeup sometimes added to that, it felt really honestly religious, and it's silly music, i like that anything/everything can feel like that.

after the show i stumbled to sit in a big couch a little while, and then i had to go piss. when i go piss in public i use the men's room cuz idk what to do so i just go w/ whatever default i've had because since i have a penis i have always figured no one would argue with me, but tonight, after pissing, this bathroom attendant said: you can't be here. and i was washing my hands so i was like: okay. he handed me paper towels and i left. that was really funny. honestly i think i feel basically good about that because i honestly feel like after i dance a lot at a concert and am all sweaty i have to be pretty uggo and like, not fishy anymore. i guess he thought i was, or something.

i'm reminded now, i kept thinking, watching yasuko use her midi control pad thing to play the drums / do fills and things, that she was giving mother. i felt it really deeply, it is a conviction, it's a river that ran through me my whole life and i've found it, in the crust of the earth, people who dig under their houses and find subterranean pools and streams. it's been a long time since i'd really listened to melt banana, they were there since hs for me though, it had the dust of excavation about it, hearing lost parts stinging me so cold was really incredible, a perfectly simple riff just driven so hard it absorbs you into it, or something, that song is an ideal of music.

even her voice, it was faintly there, maybe that's cuz i was so close and the guitars were so loud, which was fine cuz i was wearing earplugs (obv) but seeing her saying things and not hearing added a lot, they were there somewhere, or the effort to communicate and the willingness to get lost in the mess was really perfect, it matched the music, both of them were so happy performing, when i got there i was worried they were both not happy, or something, i dunno. idk why, but agata was wearing his mask and yasuko was sitting at the merch table stonefaced. they seemed genuinely happy onstage though, the whole time i saw agata's eyes smiling.

such a violent joy, i want violent joy always and forever.

we did hang out with my friends after, my friend's gf got super wasted and had to sleep and i talked with my friend about his music, i read him this hilarious thing another friend wrote in his notes app that i read to everyone but i won't read to you probably ever, sorry. it's this insanely goofy rap he wrote, goofy isn't the right word but the right word is really cruel and i feel like i don't want to be cruel right now. i just want to feel like this always, a weight lifted from my back and a soreness in its place, the soreness an etching onto my body of having been somewhere and having done something.

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miiracleboys · 2 years

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fic recs 7!

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Yakuza Laundromat by dgalerab | T | 2.9K

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sunmoontruth-stiles · 3 years

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Ok this is gonna be long. I’ve literally been slowly working on this for… too long. I’m just in a mood to have a long discussion about ships. I’ll be looking at canon and not, so bare with me. I don’t ship all of these personally. I’m mostly just picking the most popular ones. I chose to leave out a few that I just don’t want to talk about. I tried to keep this loosely chronological, but that quickly went to hell. None of this is meant to be hate towards anyone’s ship, just my personal opinions on each of them.

Canon:

Scott x Allison: True Classic

Scallison is so sweet as it is truly the epitome of young love. Romeo and Juliet, except Romeo is even more of an idiot and Juliet is a badass who dies for a cause. They’re moral and ethical codes are both highly valued by themselves, even if they don’t align with others very often. They loved with everything they had. They were beautiful. We’re they soulmates in the end, or just the first love who will always hold a special place in your heart? Who knows, but I’ll always love these immature kids who thought their love could change everything.

Stiles x Lydia: The Long Awaited

Stydia is as slow burn as you can get. Unfortunately their actual getting together was slightly rushed in my opinion. They didn’t have time to find their own as a couple because Stiles just wasn’t in the show enough at that point. I know the reasons behind it, but it did leave this couple at an awkward stage of official-but-not-shown. The idea that Stiles loved her as a kid, immature and infatuated, and he saw her for who she really was, will always be cute. Then they grew, changed, became friends, and found other people. Them finding each other later on, having real love that’s developed slowly, is a wonderful arc. Though, a part of me will always believe they should have pursued other story lines in the wake of Stiles’ absence from the plot. They’re finally together! …but we don’t get to see it.

Jackson x Lydia: The Image

Oh Jackson and Lydia. Honestly, I love them. Their connection at a time in their lives when they couldn’t open up to anyone else, just hits me right in the feels. I mean, god that HUG. You know the one. Always brings me to tears. I’m so sad their relationship was almost entirely depicted during Jackson’s kanima time when he couldn’t think nor truly act for himself. Those small moments of scared vulnerability when he wanted to protect her from himself… I’ll miss these two. They deserved to find other people and remain life-long friends. I loved their moment in the last episode. I wish they’d gotten to see each other grow. Also they had such bixbi solidarity vibes, and I’ll die on that hill.

Scott x Lydia: Leaders

Ok, I’m gonna be honest here. I ship it. The power couple they would have been?? Also them coming together after they lost Allison would have actually made sense. A part of me kinda wishes the writers had moved on from Stydia as a romantic relationship and leaned into them growing as friends and Stiles moving on from his childhood crush. Scott and Lydia actually would have had good chemistry. They were both very headstrong heroic types, but Lydia would have balanced Scott out well intellectually. They had the history, and I think it could had worked if they wrote it right. Plus, Scott and Lydia would have been a better endgame that Scalia.

Scott x Kira: New Beginnings

These two were adorable. Kira was a badass, don’t get me wrong, but she let herself be soft in a way Allison was always afraid to. This couple was truly Baby. Absolute dorks. I can definitely see the lasting quality between the two of them. They saw things very similarly, and had a ton in common. I do think Kira deserves more characterization outside of their relationship, like more of her friendship with Malia. Overall, her departure from the show will always be sad to me. It was bad writing. Scott was over her far too quickly.

Aiden x Lydia: Pretty People Herd

I honestly didn’t see much between these two other than mutual attraction. The best thing to come out of this relationship was Lydia’s line, “You’re not just a bad boy, Aiden. You’re a bad guy. And I don’t want to be with the bad guys.” Good character development moment.

Ethan x Danny: Step to Redemption

Danny really was the thing that made Ethan look outside of the pack for what he really wanted out of life. They had a few cute scenes. Gotta love Danny’s final remarks, “Dude, it’s Beacon Hills.”

Allison x Isaac: Unexpected Rebound

Ok, I like these two. Isaac could match Allison’s snark in a way Scott couldn’t. They both fought the progression of the relationship slightly. They didn’t expect to fall for each other. They were less willing to let someone in close. I’d love to have seen more… but unfortunately their time was limited. On a side note, sometimes their relationship did feel like ‘we both are in love with the same guy, let’s cope with each other’, but I find that completely valid. I’ll talk about Scallisaac later though.

Stiles x Malia: Anchors

Ok but, them <3 I love what they did for each other. Stiles was able to help Malia connect to her humanity and other people. He never tried to isolate her in their relationship and encouraged her growth. Malia offered Stiles the emotional support he never asked for. She defended him, fought for him, and loved him fiercely. Stiles needed that so much after season 3. I think they were a love that wasn’t meant to last, but the impact of it was forever. I wish we’d gotten to see a real end for them where they agreed that they needed to grow as individuals but would always still care.

Liam x Hayden: Three’s a Pattern

These two’s characterization stopped whenever they had storylines together. Their relationship was built on Scallison references. Hayden’s character could have been interesting, but they never really gave her a moment to shine. Liam has the worst plots when they revolved around her. Cute couple, poor writing.

Derek x Braeden: Gaslight, Gatekeep, Girl Boss

Derek deserves to be happy so much. Kate and Jennifer were just... jeez. Him and Braeden were cute and deserved more screen time. I think her intensity allowed for Derek to let go of control a bit more comfortably. Let Derek Be Soft. Anyway, love them.

Corey x Mason: Gotta Have That Rep TM

These two could have been cute if they were shown for more than two seconds at a time. I highkey forget Corey even existed all the time. Kinda just felt like a relationship to fill TW’s gay quota.

Jackson x Ethan: The Callback

Honestly? Loved them. Loved the chemistry. Loved the dynamic. Best twist. I know it was probably written in like that because Colton came out during his time away from the show, but it absolutely fit his character. Jethan is top tier.

Melissa x Chris: BAMF Parent Duo

Ok, so like, Melissa deserved this plot. She deserved someone to care about her. However... what the hell? Chris? In canon, his wife died like 2-ish years prior? His daughter died 1 year prior?? Is Chris really in a position to pursue a new relationship?? Also, like, Scott and Allison dated and loved each other up to her death. Kinda weird to have their parents hook up. I don’t hate it, but I don’t ship it…?

Scott x Malia: Lead up? What’s lead up?

These two came out of nowhere I stg. Like, 6B really tried to tell us this was something that had been slowly developing in the background? Also, I understand that they are their own people, adults, and completely in charge of their own romantic pursuits: but did Scott seriously never call Stiles? Like, Malia wasn’t just his first girlfriend. She was his first. Like, dude that’s your best friend?? Not even a head’s up? No, ‘hey would this bother you?’ Oof. Plus Malia was way too chaotic for Scott. She existed in gray morality that always prioritized her immediate circle, and Scott was a very black/white type of heroism. I just didn’t feel like they fit.

Non-Canon:

Scott x Stiles: Childhood Best Friends

Ya, sorry, I don’t ship Sciles at all. I get it. Like, I totally understand the ship, and I mean no judgment at all. I just see them as friends. I really value good male friendships in media because I feel like we don’t get enough, and I always liked these two.

Stiles x Derek: Enemies to Lovers. 100k. Angst. Hurt/Comfort.

God these two really are what fanfiction was made for. I could write a much longer discussion about Sterek, and I probably will eventually. I’ll try to keep this brief. These two weren’t always on the same side, but their approach was the same. They were very similar at their core. Plus, wow the chemistry. This should have been canon. Jeff’s a coward.

Allison x Lydia: Powerful.

This ship is so great. They really had a great dynamic, and a romantic plot would have easily fit the established narrative. Lydia’s confidence in herself and Allison’s confidence in her own abilities crossing over to each other because that’s what the other lacked? Iconic.

Danny x Jackson: He Gets Him

Danny really saw Jackson for everything he was and still cared. I wished we’d gotten to see more of them. I want more background with Jackson’s eventual coming out and his friendship with Danny. Like, they ended up dating the same guy. What did Ethan have to say about that??

Stiles x Jackson: Bastards

Ok these two had a super fun dynamic. The asshole-energy between them was, great. The snark was always so entertaining.

Melissa x Noah: Family

How were these two not endgame? Their sons were practically brothers already. They had amazing chemistry. The flirting? Not to mention, their timeline would have made way more sense. Missed opportunity.

Chris x Peter: The Opposite of Love is Indifference, Not Hate

Ok so like, this was definitely one of those ships that I had absolutely no knowledge of before I was pretty into the fandom. Like, this was not something I would have guessed just after watching the show. That being said; my god the chaos alone…

Scott x Isaac: The Disaster Duo

Okay ya I love these two. Two dumb asses who act like idiot puppies. Such a fun dynamic. Plus?? Chemistry??? Hellooo

Scott x Allison x Isaac: Three Heads Are Better Than One

This ship is definitely one of my personal favorites. I very rarely poly-ship. I just feel like most of them are just love triangles with an ‘easy solution’, when two of them have no real connection. That is so not the case here. I feel like all of them have such great chemistry with each other. They also have a great dynamic as a group. Season 3A was really just Scallisaac rights.

Stiles x Isaac: I Hate You, jk…Not Really

Ok I loved their banter, but I really just don’t see this ship. Idk, I don’t personally ship it. Would have loved to see their friendship develop more tho.

Erica x Allison: Duo that would stab you with a stiletto

I don’t ship it, but I do wish we’d seen them become friends. I feel like they had a very artificial ‘girls fighting over a boy’ dynamic? They could have been such a badass duo.

Stiles x Erica: Batman x Catwoman

Ok I’m not sure exactly how to express my feelings for these two so bare with me. OMG I love their dynamic so much, and they are sooo cute. Their energy? Amazing. Chemistry? Great. History? It’s there and has so much potential. 10/10. Love them. But, no, I don’t ship it lol. Just really love their friendship, but with the underlying history of crushes.

Boyd x Erica: Was This Not Canon?

How can anyone not love Berica? Ugh they are adorable. These two deserved so much better.

Boyd x Cora: Survivors

Honestly I don’t really see it? Like they definitely had a connection, but it never felt romantic. I really feel like they just had to lean on each other and bond to make it through captivity, and it just lasted.

Boyd x Erica x Cora: The Pack

I literally learned this was a ship a couple days ago. Similar feelings towards this as Bora, but with the added hesitancy of we never actually saw Erica and Cora interact.

Cora x Stiles: Slow Build Up

These two were clearing being lined up to be a thing before Cora ended up leaving. I can’t say I’m disappointed they never happened. Kinda felt like they just wanted to straight-code Sterek.

Cora x Lydia: Mean Lesbians

Not much interaction to actually go off of, but yes I 100% support. They have very different approaches to problems, which is fun. Very ‘opposites attract’.

Malia x Kira: “Maybe you could date the coyote?”

Another one of my favorites!! They really complimented each other. Also, how full circle would they have been? They were introduced in back-to-back episodes. Malia stalking her as a coyote? The line from Kira’s dad about dating it? It would have been so funny if that ended up happening.

Malia x Lydia: Beauty and the Beast, but make it wlw

These two were fun. I liked their friendship, but I don’t really ship it. Though, rip Stiles that would have been hilarious.

Parrish x Lydia: The Cop and The Minor

Must I say more? Like, Parrish’s character, so sweet and big rule follower, did not make sense for what went down with Lydia. I love Parrish, but the dynamic just felt off. It didn’t feel consistent with the rest of his characterization.

Parrish x Stiles: The Cop and The Minor, but gay?

Ok, same reasoning as above, but also they had absolutely no connection romantically.

Scott x Theo / Stiles x Theo: Sometimes The Villain is Hot

Ok I’ve put these together because I have the same opinion for both. I don’t ship it. Neither had any rebuilding of trust, and Theo really hurt both of them. I just don’t really think they work.

Mason x Liam: Sciles Puppy Pack Edition

Similar to my feeling about Sciles, I just don’t ship these two. They had a good friendship, from the little we saw of it.

Theo x Liam: Anchors 2: Electric Boogaloo

Another personal favorite! I really don’t even understand why this didn’t go canon?? The elevator scene was just, so intense. They helped each other grow in 6B, and I really loved their dynamic. They should have hooked up.

Honorable Mention?:

Parrish x Laura: What’s canon?

I’ve seen this in fanfic a lot, and I actually really like it lol. I thought I’d add it in here because I do love the creativity of fandoms.

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hadtochangemyurlquick · 4 years

Text

here’s 7.1k of Toni pining and Shelby and Toni being childhood friends and also far more character analysis of Rachel than I was expecting? also Marcus is real and I made him a gorgeous himbo. it’s based off that poem by @theycallmedizzy and you can find it here. lmk if you want a second chapter from shelby’s perspective, tho i literally just finished this one. like literally ten minute ago.

Mr. Williams finishes reading the poem and looks over his spectacles at the class. Yes, they’re spectacles, those kind of tiny thick ones that make his eyes too big because he’s much too old to be teaching.

It’s eight am on a Tuesday, Toni walked the three miles to school because she missed the bus only to walk into her shitty honors English class and hear the teacher reading a poem aloud to the class. Her poem. She’d sat down after a momentary pause and listened to him read the final damning stanza.

And then he looks at Toni.

He reads her essays right? What if he recognizes her writing voice? Is that a thing? Or maybe her handwriting or—

“Toni, I was just explaining to the class that whoever wrote this should submit it to the state literature festival,” Mr. Williams says, Toni almost sags against her chair. “I was hoping someone would come forward,” He turns back to the class, eyes hovering over Quinn and Monty, two of the more sensitive guys who sit in the back and ruin the curve for everyone. “But I’ll leave it on the board here,” he clacks it on with a magnet and Toni flinches, “and hopefully someone will come forward. Now onto today’s lesson.”

After class Martha goes up to the board and takes a picture of it, her eyes a little starry at the words and Toni grits her teeth.

“You have to admit it’s pretty,” Martha says. “Even you can’t deny that.”

“It’s dumb,” Toni says flatly, crossing her arms.

“Well I’m keeping it anyway, maybe someday someone will write a poem about me,” Martha says.

“How do you know it’s not about you?” Shelby asks coming out of nowhere and uninvited too. Toni glares at her, letting her open disdain shine through like sunshine through clouds after a gully washer.

“No guys notice me,” Martha informs Shelby sadly. “I bet Andrew wrote it for you.”

Shelby purses her lips and looks over the poem, “I doubt it. He’s more of a doer, I think. Besides, I’m sure that guys notice you, you went on a date with that boy Sam last month.”

Martha sighs and before she can launch into what a disaster that date was, Toni tightens her hands around her backpack.

“I’ll see you in science,” She tells Martha and manages to escape Shelby’s eyes burning at the back of her neck.

———

reasons not to kiss her

1.) this sort of love is not allowed. you are both too soft, and the world around you is all knives and chipped teeth

Toni had played about every sport she was allowed to growing up. Basketball was her favorite, but she loved beat it ball, the game she made up with the other kids in the neighborhood. It was basketball but without rules, devolving into fist fights within the first half. Nothing tasted better than her own bloody lip on a hot summer day. Not even the cool glass of lemonade Mrs. Blackburn always had ready when she ran all skinned knees to Martha’s telling her about how she beat guys two years older than her.

She got angry when she had to stop playing, moving to a different neighborhood. Apparently, Mrs. Blackburn had figured out that she wasn’t only getting her split lip from the older kids in the neighborhood.

The new foster parents were a little stricter, a little richer, and signed her up for youth soccer when she complained about how there was nothing to do without beat it ball.

Martha Blackburn would always be her person, but Toni didn’t expect to find her people so young. Dottie killed as goalie, and Becca’s sweetness made her defense all the better. But it was Shelby and Toni who were the dynamic duo. Toni had a never ending amount of energy as a midfielder and Shelby’s precision made her the perfect striker. It worked the same way every game, Becca would kick it to Toni, who got it to Shelby, who scored a goal. It got to the point that Becca didn’t even need to do much and the coach had to pull Toni aside to tell her to pass to the other girls too.

At the end of the season they sat together at the team party, wearing orange slice smiles. With sticky fingers they held hands and Toni kinda wondered how someone’s eyes could be so green.

Toni doesn’t remember why Shelby’s parents were so angry about them holding hands, but she knows Mr. Goodkind talked to her foster parents and Toni was off to a different home, in a different district, and she lost even Martha for a few months.

———

At lunch everyone’s talking about that fucking poem. Martha sent it around to the whole school and Leah is discussing its merits with Rachel and Nora. Even they don’t seem bored with the topic, though Nora is sure Quinn didn’t write it.

“It could be Monty,” Leah says. “I wouldn’t have thought he had an eye for this stuff.”

“I don’t think it’s Monty,” Rachel says. She looks at Nora, “C’mon, you know what I’m talking about, right?”

“What?” Nora asks.

“I mean it smells like Anna Akhmatova had a baby with Adrienne Rich,” Rachel says.

“Who had a baby with who?” Martha asks.

“Please,” Fatin says. “You’re not exactly the world’s leading expert on free form poetry.”

“Uh, I know when something’s written by a girl,” Rachel says. “I bet you fifty bucks some closet case wrote this.”

Everyone looks at Toni. “You caught me,” Toni deadpans.

“Rachel’s right,” Nora says. “A girl definitely wrote this. Toni, do you know anyone?”

Toni glares at her. “I’ll shake the lesbian phone tree and see what comes out.”

“Well, could it be Regan?” Martha asks. “Maybe she wants to—”

“It’s not fucking Regan,” Toni grabs her books and stalks out, kicking a chair randomly strewn around away as she did.

She hears Shelby sit down just as she leaves, “What’s got her madder than a baptized cat?” Shelby asks and Toni rolls her eyes.

———

2.) no one ever taught you how to love. your war paint and scarred hands could never hold her like she deserves

The worst of it was that Shelby was gentle. Her hands were warm and soft around Toni’s callouses, and there was a crinkle between her eyebrows as she focused on Toni’s hands. No, the worst of it was that Shelby didn’t let go of Toni’s hands when she finished, kept holding onto them as she met Toni’s eyes.

“Well?”

Toni swallowed hard, “I’m not gonna apologize.”

Shelby sighed, her thumb traced little circles around Toni’s hands. “I know today ain’t easy for you.” Toni scoffed and looked away. “But you know you were pickin' a fight. Andrew promised to leave you alone.”

Toni ripped her hands away and jumped from the bench of the locker room. “What the fuck do you know? You weren’t fucking there.”

Shelby’s calm only made Toni’s anger redder, “You ain’t denying it.”

“Why the fuck are you dating him? He’s a self-satisfied little asshole who just wants a little trophy girlfriend to—”

“Toni,” Shelby cut her off sharply and got to her feet, meeting Toni’s eyes.

“You’re not denying that either,” Toni spat.

She could’ve screamed at the hypocrisy. She wanted to scream. She wanted to pound her fists against the walls and bleed all over the bandages Shelby wrapped around her knuckles. She wanted to hurt, to make Shelby hurt. She wanted everyone to see and feel how hurt she was, and hurt them with that hurt. Finally level the playing field.

“Andrew is my business,” Shelby said. “Not yours.”

“He becomes my business when you—”

“When I what?” Shelby asked.

Toni looked at her hands, “Never mind.”

Shelby sighed, “Martha’s helping you move in today, right? Shel’ll be there the whole time?”

“Don’t pretend you give a shit.”

“Of course I care. The last time you lived with your mom you didn’t eat for a week.”

“I was five, not fifteen,” Toni said. “And seriously, stop pretending you give a shit.”

She shoulder checked Shelby as she walked out and winced at the sound of Shelby hitting the gym lockers. Her hands still sting where Andrew’s teeth had scrapped them.

———

Regan approaches Toni during science, her eyes serious. Martha straightens, and Toni does her best not to make eye contact.

“It’s not mine,” Regan says.

“Yeah duh,” Toni mutters.

Regan frowns, “I just—I didn’t want you to—”

“You made it perfectly clear what you want,” Toni says.

Regan sighs and leaves and Toni regrets it.

“Shelby thinks it’s Marcus,” Martha tells her. Toni blinks up at her and Martha nods. “She thinks he wrote it for me.”

“Martha, that kid is dumber than a box of rocks,” Toni says.

Martha furrows her brow, “Maybe he has hidden depths.”

“If you think it’s him ask him out,” Toni says.

“Shelby thinks it’s him,” Martha is quick to correct. “But he doesn’t even know who I am.”

Toni rolls her eyes. Marcus had been in love with Martha since the ninth grade. They had gotten placed as lab partners and he literally didn’t take his eyes off her the entire time. Every time there was a dance he would always look like he was about to say something, shoot his shot, when Martha would loudly proclaim she couldn’t wait to go with her friends.

Toni would’ve pulled the guy aside and told him to grow a pair, but a guy who’s not brave enough to go after what he wants wasn’t good enough for her Marty, not by a long shot.

“Rachel still thinks a girl wrote it,” Martha says.

“Maybe Rachel wrote it,” Toni mutters.

Martha’s eyes light up.

———

3.) no one has ever loved you this full surely you would drown in it all

Being a lifeguard was the worst. It was super boring, the pay was shit, and also Toni would probably get someone killed. Like, they pretended she was CPR certified but she absolutely had no idea how to do it. She went to some hour long course, slept through it, took a test that was just: should you kill people? And then they wrote some bullshit on some papers about a three week long set of classes.

But Shelby was tanned and golden looking and on their shifts they’d text back and forth about which kids they were betting on to win sharks and minnows. Tweenage boys in all their adolescent infancy would gaze open mouthed at Shelby and Toni alike but Shelby was the only one who let them down gently. Toni would ruin them for girls forever with something enough to cut through even the thickest skin.

On the fourth of July the pool paid for fireworks and Toni found a blanket and Shelby found her and they sat watching the reflections of the lights together. Shelby rested her head on Toni’s shoulder, all gentle, like she was afraid Toni would spook.

“I know this ain’t much of a holiday for you,” Shelby said. “But thank you for spending it with me.”

She had her hand on the blanket, splayed out like she was waiting for Toni to take it, there in front of everyone. Toni imagined a world in which she did.

———

“Yeah it’s not me,” Rachel says. “I wish I could write that good.”

Which is such bullshit because Toni knows Rachel could say well if she wanted to. Rachel’s weird inferiority complex about Nora pisses off Toni to no end. Nora’s the smart one, Rachel will be the first to say, and Rachel’s the athletic one. But Nora has a six minute mile and Rachel has perfect pitch so Toni hates them both.

“Maybe it’s Dot,” Toni suggests and Rachel, Nora, and Martha snicker.

Out of all of them, Martha’s the best driver, but they always end up in Rachel’s car after school anyway.

“Most of the school seems to think it’s by Andrew,” Nora says. Toni’s fists clench.

“Yeah,” Rachel rolls her eyes, “I’m sure he would love to take the credit. C’mon Toni, you don’t know any lesbians who could’ve written this?”

“You’re a lesbian too,” Toni says. “You don’t know any?”

“I don’t have a life outside of the pool,” Rachel says, “and none of them have picked up a book since Hop on Pop.”

“Regan says it wasn’t her,” Martha cuts in helpfully. “But maybe it’s another kid in theatre. Shelby says—”

“Oh my god,” Toni grits out. “What is everyone’s deal with her anyway? Why is everyone still obsessed with her? She’s just another basic Jesus bitch.”

The car goes quiet and Toni wishes she could melt into her seat cushion.

“I didn’t mean that,” Toni says.

“Except you did,” Martha snaps.

Toni winces.

“What’s your deal with her?” Rachel asks. “You guys were fine last year.”

“Quinn says there’s a poetry club,” Nora says. “Maybe it’s someone there?”

No one takes the bait and they don’t talk the rest of the way.

———

4.) she belongs in a museum, and you are merely here to gaze. look around you, all the signs scream ‘do not touch’

“Shelby?”

Toni grabbed the shoulder of the girl and pulled her away from Marcus. Shelby was bruised lips and ruined make up and Toni took her by the hand. Thank god Martha wasn’t here, thank god Andrew wasn’t here, thank god Marcus looked just as trashed.

“Toni?” Shelby sorta stumbled, her ankle twisting painfully on her heel and Toni steadied her.

Shelby could do a cartwheel in six inch heels.

“I’m gonna get you home, okay?” Toni called over the music.

Shelby didn’t really respond, just leant into Toni as she led her away and outside. The party had spilled into the backyard and front yard some, the cops probably already on their way, but everyone was too fucking hammered to notice them making their way out.

Shelby’s house was only about a twenty minute walk but it was cold and Toni was only wearing her basketball shorts and her mom’s jacket that she promptly put over Shelby’s shoulders.

“Are you still—” Shelby swallowed hard, “You’re still living with your mom?”

“Mostly with Martha,” Toni said.

“Martha’s great,” Shelby said. “She’s so pretty it makes my eyes hurt.”

“One of our finest,” Toni grunted as Shelby nearly fell on her heels again.

“She could be a model,” Shelby told her. “We should get waffle house.”

“Shelbs, we’re nowhere near a waffle house.”

“What was Becca’s order? At waffle house?”

Toni sighed, looping an arm around her. “I dunno.”

“Neither do I,” Shelby said.

“I’m sorry, Shelby,” Toni said.

Shelby shook her head and stopped right there, circling her arms around Toni and pressing her into a hug. Toni closed her eyes, holding her back as tightly as she dared.

“Oh, Shelby, I’m so fucking sorry.”

———

“Day two!” Mr. Williams calls. He taps the poem again, “I will investigate the handwriting if the poet doesn’t come forward by Friday. I know it’s someone in one of my classes.”

His eyes narrow as he takes them all in and his eyes don’t linger on Toni. Not even for a moment.

There’s a part of her that wants to march up to the front of the room and write her name down, make eye contact with everyone who never even considered her before. But no one expects shit from her, and even if he does go over the handwriting he won’t really be able to pin it on her. He might not even bother checking to see if it matches.

Toni tries not to jump when Marcus takes the seat in front of her during quant lit. It’s not like they have assigned seating but everyone sticks to the same seats anyway. Marcus won’t get shit for it though, perks of being the quarterback.

“So, listen,” he scratches the back of his head and Toni rolls her eyes at him. “I know we aren’t really friends but I—um.”

“Marcus,” Toni says.

“I wanna ask Martha out,” Marcus rushes out. “She’s like the nicest, smartest, coolest girl in the school and like her eyes are out of this world radical.” Radical? “And I would take her somewhere nice like Olive Garden. Or Cheesecake Factory? And pay for it, and open all the doors for her, and I’d carry her books to class—”

“On your date? This is happening during school?” Toni asks.

His eyebrows furrow as he tries to connect the dots. Football players.

“Oh no! I meant like, after, if she wants me to,” He says. “Can I?”

“Can you what?”

“Can I ask her out?”

Toni blinks at him. “What?”

“My buddy said if you want to get with a girl you get close to the best friend first, and I figured I’d ask you for your blessing because that’s what they do in old fashioned stuff right?” He bounces up in down in his seat. “Can I? Or like, do you wanna give me your blessing?”

She feels like she’s having an aneurysm.

Listen, Marcus having feelings for Martha is one thing. Everyone on the planet who’s ever met Martha falls a little in love with her. That’s kinda just how she operates. Toni narrowly avoided that pitfall by being lucky enough to know her since she was five, but it was a tough time. But Marcus was never gonna act on it. Marcus can’t—he’s the quarterback.

It’s basic math, Marcus is a six foot five football player with shoulders wide enough to bench press the Subaru Forrester Toni’s legally required to buy when she turns thirty-two. He’s got that all American boy smile that shows of perfectly white teeth, and dark hair that sweeps in front of his eyes. His face looks like it was sculpted out of marble, like literally he looks like some sort of roman god, except if that roman god volunteered at the humane society on the weekends and called his mom Mami.

Martha is a res girl who’s best friend is the dyke with anger issues. And like yeah, she’s stupid pretty, but Marcus has exclusively dated varsity cheerleaders since the seventh grade.

So yeah, even if Marcus may have feelings for Marty, everyone fucking does, and there’s a host of reasons why she doesn’t have a date to every dance and a new guy every week. And most of them are the cliche high school movie hierarchy sort.

“It’s really none of my business, man,” she says.

“Dude, it’s totally your business,” Marcus says. He leans closer, “you two are like sisters right? What do I gotta do to prove I’m not gonna hurt her? I’ll do your math homework for a month, no two months.”

A thought occurs to Toni and it’s a terrible one. But when has that ever stopped her?

“You’re in my honors English class right?”

Marcus’s face screws in, “Uh, yeah. But I don’t think you want me doing your homework in there, I’m like totally failing.”

“I have a better idea.”

———

5.) she touches you like youre fragile, and if you break you wont be able put yourself together again

Dot was asleep which was Toni’s first indication that something was deeply wrong. The second was that Shelby wasn’t. She was definitely trying her darnedest, but Toni could tell she was awake. Awake in her arms.

Toni shifted, just enough to let Shelby know she was awake too. The movie was some horror flick, something dumb and flashy and almost muted it was so quiet. It was the only thing rated R that they could all agree on. Dot’s house was the only place they were allowed to watch anything rated R when they were still thirteen, so it was all they watched there.

She felt Shelby shift up, so her head rested on Toni’s chest, shifted until her lips met Toni’s clavicle.

Toni wondered if she’d die.

Shelby went up instead of down, pressing kisses up the length of Toni’s neck, soft barely there things that made Toni’s breath catch as she watched Dot snore on the couch next to them.

Toni’s hands moved to the inside of Shelby’s thighs and they stared there, tracing delicate patterns that only made Shelby curl closer.

“I think you’re probably the most beautiful girl I ever saw,” Shelby whispered.

“I—”

“I’m not done.”

Toni’s mouth clamped shut.

“I think about you all the time,” Shelby whispered. “Even when I—”

“Shelby,” Toni warned. Shelby pressed a kiss to the corner of her mouth.

“You’re right,” Shelby said.

Neither of them slept that night.

———

Toni walks into class three minutes late with Mr. Williams, and takes her seat with a sulk.

“He still won’t let me redo that paper,” Toni mutters to Martha who’s eyes are wide.

“Toni, Marcus just—” She nods her head at the poem where Mr. Williams is studying it too.

“Marcus Gonzales?” Mr. Williams asks.

Marcus gets to his feet.

“You wrote this?”

“Yessir.”

“This poem right here?”

“Yessir.”

Mr. Williams blinks and takes off his spectacles, setting them down on the desk. “We’ll talk after class. I should hope everyone has a copy of—”

“I wrote it for Martha,” Marcus doesn’t sit down and the entire class stares at him.

“—Franny and Zooey and I would like you all to turn to page 52. Begin by annotating—”

“Martha, can I take you out on a date?” Marcus asks.

“—this first section, and on to page 64. Remember what Seymour serves as in—”

Martha blushes hard and glances at Toni who smiles before she looks back at Marcus in all his golden boy 6’5” glory.

“Um, okay,” she mutters out and he grins.

“Cool.” Marcus finally sits and gives Toni a thumbs up. She rolls her eyes.

“—this story and compare that to his roles in the other parts of the work we’ve read.”

“I told you it was for you, girl,” Shelby says on Martha’s other side. “People always have a way of surprising you.”

———

6.) she is all bubblegum skies and chapped stick kisses, and you cannot watch the love run out of another persons eyes

They were all a little bit slap happy by the end of the night. A little bit drunk, a little bit high, and laughing far too hard at one another.

“I’m scared,” Shelby told them, still grinning wider than any pageant smile.

“Girl, you picked dare,” Fatin said.

“I did,” Shelby bit her lip. “But all y’all dared Leah to do was finish the vodka.”

“That was—that was bad vodka,” Leah slurred from her position on Dot’s lap.

“But now we’re out of vodka,” Martha sang. “You picked dare.”

“I’ll go with you,” Toni got to her feet, surprised when they were more steady than she assumed they’d be. “Two chairs right?”

“Alright,” Shelby said. “And you’ll hold my hand?”

“Sure princess,” Toni rolled her eyes.

It was an office supply place, probably. The parking lot had this killer decline, and it was one of those spring nights where nothing could really ruin anything. Not forever.

The rolling chairs were kinda gross, left there but not yet picked up by the garbage men. They had to do a special pickup for that, which costed extra. No one in the office had done it for the weeks the girls had been going there after parties.

“Be careful,” Nora urged.

“Don’t fall,” Rachel suggested.

“Hold on, I’m not recording yet,” Fatin said. “Okay now go.”

They pushed off in their rolling chairs, holding hands, and sped down the decline laughing as they barely managed to hold on and steer at the same time.

Toni went flying as she bumped into a patch of grass and for some reason, Shelby went flying with her, landing on top. Toni grunted, but she wasn’t in pain, not really.

They met eyes.

“Sorry,” Shelby said. She didn’t sound sorry.

“You okay?” Toni asked.

Shelby smiled, this real soft thing, Toni wondered what it’d taste like.

“Fuck yeah bitches! I’m so putting that on snapchat!” Fatin screamed and Shelby pulled away, turning white.

“God if this is you in in freshman year, I’m terrified of you as a senior,” Toni called back.

Shelby’s hand slipped out of her’s and Toni tried very very hard not to overthink it.

———

“So I’ve been thinking,” Leah said. Toni took her gym bag out of her locker, pretty much the only thing she kept in there.

“Oh no.”

“Rachel was right about that poem being written by a girl,” Leah continued. “Which meant Marcus lied. And Marcus would never do that unless someone gave him permission to take credit. And since Marcus lied so he could ask Martha out that means the person who wrote the poem wanted Martha to be happy.”

Toni swallowed hard and tried not to fumble with the lock, stumbling with it.

“Toni,” Leah walked over to her. “You need to face the facts: Shelby’s into you.”

Toni blinked, “What?”

“She wrote that whole poem for you, don’t tell me you don’t see it. It’s about you!”

“She—” Toni stopped and furrowed her brow, finally making eye contact with Leah, “You think she wrote that poem for me?”

Leah nodded, “And she let Marcus take the credit. Listen, I know I’m right. I’ve been thinking about it for ages. Whatever fight the two of you had—you need to get over it. She’s into you, Toni. She’s been into you.”

“You have no fucking idea what you’re talking about,” Toni told her. “Seriously, fuck you Leah and fuck off. This is none of your fucking business.”

“You aren’t denying it,” Leah crowed. “Shelby likes you.”

“No she fucking doesn’t!” Toni spat at her. “She fucking hates me! She didn’t write that poem Marcus did! For Martha!”

Leah’s brow furrowed, “But… but you wanted her to. Didn’t you?”

Toni looked away.

“Shelby’s actually straight, isn’t she?” Leah asked. “Fuck Toni.”

“I’m happy for Martha,” Toni said, and marched away.

———

7.) if you jump, she might catch you, and then youd have to watch as she tumbled through the dark

“What if we ran away?” Shelby asked, which was Toni’s third indication that the punch was spiked.

The first two were her arms wrapped around Toni’s waist, swaying in the soft breeze to the distant music of Junior prom.

“Oh yeah?” Toni asked. “Where’d we go?”

“Peru,” Shelby said. “Or LA, or New York or—” Shelby sort of trailed off, losing her thought halfway through it.

“Our parents,” Toni pointed out. She’d moved in with Martha a few months ago but her mom had taken it as a wakeup call, promising to get her shit back together as soon as she could. Toni couldn’t help but believe her, even if it put her in stasis.

“Right,” Shelby sounded cold, “Our parents.”

“Are things worse with them?” Toni asked.

“No,” Shelby said. “The same, really. They’ve lightened up since—since Becca. Have you heard from your mom?”

“Every week or so,” Toni said. “And if you ever need a break you know—“

“Martha is happy to have me,” Shelby finished.

Toni smiled and pulled away enough to meet Shelby’s eyes, her hands slid from behind Shelby’s neck to either side.

“Did I tell you you look beautiful tonight?” Toni asked.

“You did,” Shelby said.

“Can I say it again?”

“You can.”

“You look beautiful tonight.” Shelby closed her eyes and Toni tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. “You’re gonna get out, you know that right?”

Shelby nodded, leaning into Toni’s hand.

Later, Toni will learn that was one of two lies Shelby told that night.

———

Martha gets home at 11:30, exactly when Marcus promised, and Toni smiles as her sister collapses backwards into her bed.

“Toni,” she actually giggles, giggles like a little school girl. “It was amazing.”

“Where’d you go?” Toni asks.

“Olive Garden, I think he was trying to win points with you,” Martha says.

“As he should,” Toni nods.

“He was the perfect gentleman,” Martha swoons. She rolls onto her stomach and looks at Toni and oh god, Toni knows that look. “He did tell me something about you, though.”

“Oh yeah? How I’m better in quant lit than him?” Toni asks.

“He told me you wrote the poem,” she says.

Toni looks away, “Okay, and?”

“You told me you were over Regan,” Martha says.

“It’s complicated,” Toni decides. “And whatever. I wrote it awhile ago anyway.”

“Have you thought about submitting it to that contest Mr. Williams was talking about?” Martha asks.

“Can we go back to talking about your date with Prince Charming?” Toni says. Martha acquiesces, she’s too damn giddy to do anything else.

———

8.) her gaze is too gentle. you will not be the one to tell her that not everything can be fixed with a smile

“Toni,” Dot began, and Toni could tell she was looking at her. “Toni, is Shelby—is she gay?”

Toni snickered, “Dot, Shelby is possibly the biggest straight girl in our school. Maybe our state. She’d sooner give herself a buzzcut than she would ever even kiss a girl."

“Andrew said Shelby got a job as a counselor at this church camp—Guiding Light—in Plano,” Dot said. “I wanted to find the address so I could write to her and it’s a conversion camp.”

The breath left Toni’s body.

“What?”

“And I got to thinking,” Dot said. “About what a mess she was after Becca died this year. Ignoring us, going to all those parties, signing up for a crazy number of pageants. Hell, it was only once you two started talking that she talked to us again.”

“Stop it, Dot.”

“Toni is Shelby gay?”

“Dot,” Toni said.

“Because if she’s gay, if she’s not there as a camp counselor—Toni, did you know about this?”

“Of course not! Jesus!” Toni said. She jumped to her feet and started to pace, “Jesus Christ. Oh my god.”

“Toni is Shelby gay?”

Toni looked at Dot and Dot sighed, her entire body sagging.

“What do we do?” Toni asked.

Dot, her solid, steady, friend since fucking youth soccer was silent.

“Dot, what do we do?”

“Dot, what the fuck do we do?”

———

Shelby finds her before school, Toni smoking like she hasn’t since ninth grade when Bernice gave her a stern lecture about lung cancer. It made Toni cry, actually. Not because it was so stern but because Martha and Toni had been separated for three years and Bernice still cared enough to get angry with her. She promised then and there to stop, and each drag she took now makes her feel like she’s committing treason.

“Smokin’ kills,” Shelby tells her, like they didn’t all go to Dot’s dad’s funeral last year.

Toni takes another drag, just to watch Shelby roll her eyes.

“How’d Martha’s date go last night?” Shelby asks.

Toni glares, “Seriously? You avoid me all year and now you’re asking about Martha’s date?” Shelby looks away. “It went fine. Whatever.”

“I just—I was surprised Marcus wrote that poem is all.”

“You literally said multiple times you thought it was him,” Toni says.

“I know, I know but—”

“Still holding out hope for Andrew?” Toni sneers. “Marcus may not be the sharpest tool in the shed but he cares about Martha. Even a fucking idiot could write a half decent poem if they had someone worth writing about.”

Shelby meets her eyes and Toni’s breath catches.

“Know a lot about poetry, Toni?”

Fuck fuck fuck.

Toni flicks the only half used cigarette away. “I have to go to class,” She says, aware it’s just about the worst thing she can do.

Shelby doesn’t even need the last word, she’s aware she’s already won.

———

9.) she is so good. she is so good, and you cannot ruin one more good thing

It hadn’t been the first time Toni found her mom overdosed on the couch, but it’d been the most terrifying. Toni had waited in the school parking lot for a pick up for twenty minutes before Shelby had offered her a ride.

When they trooped inside, after having to use the key Tamera kept tucked away in a loose brick, her mom had been passed out on the couch. And the stupid thing had been that Toni had known her mom hadn’t been doing great. Like she’d known Tamera had lost her job, and was close to losing the car, that the pain in her back had been getting worse again from stress. Toni had known that.

But for some stupid, naive reason, Toni had never thought she’d pull this, go back to who she was.

Her tolerance was low, the doctors had told her, because she’d been clean for so long. She hadn’t realized it and had taken more than she could handle.

Shelby had taken the three of them to the hospital, helped carry Toni’s drooling mother into the ER, and held Toni’s hand until the other girls showed up, who she texted to come.

Shelby had been there when the police and social services came to talk to her about going back into foster care. Shelby had never left her side.

Toni couldn’t help but contrast that to the Shelby she saw now. The Shelby who showed up for senior year was barely christian, barely anything, just sort of blank and empty and waiting to grow up so she could have daughters that'd also wait to grow up so that they could have daughters that’d also wait to grow up so that they could have daughters that’d also

Shelby didn’t even look at her, for the first week of senior year she didn’t even look at Toni. She talked with Martha in that faux friendly way, she passed off on lunch invitations to do school work and Toni felt like she was going insane.

Sometimes she would just stare at the back of Shelby’s head in English class, writing whatever gibberish came to mind, and not listening to Mr. Williams at all. Just stare, for forty-five minutes, at a girl who wouldn’t even make eye contact, Toni’s pencil moving rapidly as she barely even glanced at the words her hands produced.

On the last day of the semester Toni finally looked away and came to two realizations:

a. Her mother was never getting better. Not really. b. Toni had written P E R U over forty times in her notebook.

As quietly as she could she tore the page out, and maybe about fifteen pages behind it, filled with similar drivel and recycled them at the end of class.

When the next semester started the seats were changed and something she’d written that she barely remembered was on the board.

Her mother was still in rehab.

———

Toni watches Marcus carry Martha’s backpack to class and watches as Martha giggles at him, argues with him. She is literally so happy it makes Toni’s heart burst.

“Shelby’s quite the matchmaker, huh?” Fatin asks.

Toni looks at her.

“Leah told me,” Fatin explains.

Toni rolls her eyes.

“Yeah, that’s what I said too,” Fatin says. “Leah’s good at noticing things but putting the pieces together is not her strong suit. So I called Dorothy.”

This makes Toni’s shoulders tense and Fatin wraps an arm around them.

“Dorothy didn’t want to talk but what she didn’t say was enough.” Fatin sighs, “I’m all for a little drama but this is cutting into my me time.”

“What going from twenty-four hours a day to twenty-three and a half?” Toni asks.

“God forbid,” Fatin nods sagely. “I didn’t know you could write.”

“I can’t.”

“Clearly not.”

Toni slips out from under her arm, and follows Martha into class. Mr. Williams glares as she comes in and Toni realizes if Marcus came clean to Martha he definitely came clean to Mr. Williams. At least the poem is off the board.

When he passes out papers from a recent essay her’s has a “see me after class” sticker that makes Toni slide down in her seat. Martha doesn’t even notice enough to give her an odd look because she and Shelby are yukking it up about the quarterback.

When everyone files out she hangs back and he looks at her, over his spectacles.

“I’m disappointed,” he says at last.

Toni scoffs.

“You write essays based off spark notes, you never participate, and half the time you don’t even do the homework. But you write this.” He slides the crumpled paper over his desk, her poem shining back at her. “So all I can conclude is that you’re lazy.”

Yeah, obviously.

“Why did you have Marcus tell everyone he wrote it?” Mr. Williams asks.

“So he could ask out Martha.”

“He didn’t need to have written the poem to do that,” Mr. Williams says.

“Can I go?” Toni asks.

“I want to submit this poem to a contest, I want you to start trying in this class, and this,” he hands her a slip of paper with about twenty sets of numbers on it, “is a list of Dickinson poems I want you to read by next week. Pick at least three to write me at least a page about. Single spaced.”

“What?” Toni asks, “You can’t make me do that.”

“I know half the kids in this class write off spark notes, I can easily have them all—including you—fail. So yes, yes I can actually.” He takes off his spectacles and Toni glares at him. “You’re a smart kid, Toni. You’ve got a talent for this.”

Toni shakes her head, “I’m a one hit wonder.”

“You know Britney Spears said the same thing after Baby One More Time.”

“That’s not true,” Toni says.

“Yeah,” Mr. Williams says. “Because she kept working at it.”

And Toni takes the slip of paper with the numbers on it, and marches to her next class and he watches her the whole way, not bothering to put on his stupid spectacles.

———

10.) you will not watch her crumble under the weight of your sins. she is too light, too breathless to be caught up in the dizziness of your heart

Dot didn’t invite them all to the funeral but they came anyway, even Shelby who Toni knew had been waffling back and forth.

Some of his army friends showed up, a doctor or two, and Mateo—the hot nurse Dot steadily ignored. It was a small and quiet service, and the seven of them sat towards the back, holding steady for her.

There was too much on Dot’s shoulders, there always had been, but she didn’t look any freer now that the burden was lifted. She just looked scared, small, and sad.

Toni couldn’t help but wonder if that was what she’d look like, if she got the call about her mom. It was a terribly selfish thought but who could blame her?

Shelby’s hands interlocked with hers, in broad daylight, and stayed there for the entire day. When Toni met her eyes she saw pure terror reflected back at her.

God, were they really only seventeen?

———

Rachel is complaining at lunch about owing Nora five bucks, how she was so sure some closet case wrote the poem but it’s no surprise Nora got it right.

Fatin and Leah don’t contribute and Martha probably wouldn’t have either except she was eating lunch with Marcus, they had found their own little table and were smiling at one another.

“They’re certainly cute together,” Shelby says, glancing back at Martha and Marcus.

“I say it’s weird they have the same name,” Rachel says.

“Says the girl who dated a guy named Raymond,” Nora says.

Rachel throws a straw wrapper at him, “That was a phase and you know it.”

“Marcus is sweet,” Shelby says. “If anyone deserves someone sweet it’s Martha.”

“Don’t you think he’s a little,” Leah trailed off and they all looked at her. “You know a little…”

“Spit it out, Leah,” Rachel says.

“Like the porch lights on but no one’s home?” Leah says.

“Martha is smart enough for the both of them,” Toni says. “And thank god because I was sick of doing his homework in quant lit.”

“That’s literally the easiest math class there is,” Fatin says and Toni shrugs.

“What’s that?” Shelby asks, pointing at the yellow slip sticking out of Toni’s binder.

“Some extra credit stuff, from Williams. Apparently I’m not doing so hot in that class,” Toni says.

Rachel leans way over from the other end of the table. “What is that, Dickinson?”

“It’s a list of numbers,” Shelby says. “Why would it be Dickinson?”

“All of Dickinson’s poems were numbered. It was only after she died that other people named them,” Nora says.

“And Nora said it so you know it’s true,” Rachel smirks.

“Join the fucking club,” Dot says to Toni. “I don’t know why y’all didn’t take non-honors English twelve with me. We just sit around and talk about whatever football game was on the most recently.”

“Well I’ve never liked football so.” Toni gets up, “I’ve gotta talk to my science teacher. I’ll see you guys after school.”

“I’ll go with you,” Shelby smiles and Toni clenches her jaw. “Ms. Roberts said I needed to rework my psych paper.”

“See you guys,” Rachel says and as they leave she’s arguing with Dot about why football is stupid and Toni can feel Fatin’s eyes on her all the way out.

———

reasons to kiss her

1.) she loves you, and her eyes are closed, and didnt your mother ever tell you not to leave a good thing waiting

Toni hated the magnet program kids at her middle school. Like everyone not in their cluster she found them annoying, rich, and privileged as fuck. They only hung out with each other and it was clear they’d never give—

———

“Toni?”

The stair well is empty, it’s the short cut through the language hallway and no one goes there during lunch.

Toni is working hard on ignoring Shelby but is forced to turn around when Shelby stops halfway up.

“Ms. Roberts doesn’t need me to rework my psych paper.”

Toni stares at her.

Shelby takes a step up, one step closer to Toni.

“I had hoped maybe you wrote it for Regan,” Shelby says.

“No such luck,” Toni croaks out.

“That’s a lot of reasons not to kiss someone,” Shelby says. “You’d think if you really shouldn’t kiss someone you’d only need the one.” She takes another step up, until they’re only separated by a few inches.

“I guess,” Toni says.

“Are you really gonna keep me waiting?” Shelby says.

Toni blinks, “You mean you still—”

“I have to do everything myself,” Shelby says.

She kisses her.

#did something different with time than i usually do #and with structure #lmk what you think #shoni #the wilds fanfic #the wilds #goodfoe fanfic #goodfoe #shelby goodkind #toni shalifoe #gus writes #ren don’t

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drabbles-mc · 4 years

Text

Old Habits

Obispo “Bishop” Losa x Reader

Request from my fave @masterlistforimagines: I’m back with more requests for everyone’s #1 Daddy: “Do it, I dare you” and “I haven’t forgot you yet” (Prompts are from This Post)

Warnings: Light angst (with a happy ending), language

Word Count: 2.2k

A/N: Still working through a personal life slump, but I was pretty stoked to finish up this fic. Idk why I’ve been putting Bishop through some things lately, but this one does have a happy ending I promise!

Bish Taglist: @sincerelyasomebody @sadeyesgf @thesandbeneathmytoes @tomhardydallasstarsgirl @multiyfandomgirl40 @sillygoose6969

It had been months since you last saw Bishop. The breakup went about as well as anyone could expect any breakup to go. It didn’t end with yelling and screaming, just a lot of tears and the recognition that trying to force things to work was hurting the both of you. It was difficult to try and adjust to a life that didn’t revolve around each other. You put off getting your things from his house for a little longer than necessary, not wanting to admit to yourself that it was really over. For weeks he still texted you or called you once a day to make sure that you were doing alright. Both of you had to fight not to slip up and say, “I love you,” before hanging up the phone. Old habits really do die hard.

By your second month apart, you both had gotten to the point where you didn’t follow through on the impulse to reach out. Your heart sank a little every time you’d get a notification on your phone and you saw that it wasn’t from him, but you knew that it was for the best. It still sucked, though.

Days turned into weeks, and weeks turned into months. You still thought about him often, but you had gotten a grip on your emotions over it. He hadn’t tried to contact you, and that let you know that if he was over it, it was time for you to be over it too. After a lot of prompting from friends, you set yourself up on Tinder. It was a dumb idea, and all it really was, was a distraction. But it was an effective one. You’d had your fair share of disastrous conversations, awful first-dates, and not-terrible hookups since joining. Dating apps weren’t really your thing, but you hoped that maybe you’d stumble across someone who could start to fill the gap that Bishop had left.

After another awkward dinner with a man that you would never speak to again, you decided to meet up with your friends who were out at the club. The night was young and you didn’t want your entire Saturday night to feel like a waste. One of your friends was waiting for you outside the door to the club, and she beamed at you as she waved you over.

She wrapped you in a hug, “Date was that bad, huh?”

You laughed, nodding, “Another on the long list of disappointments. I don’t even know why I bother.”

“Well, come on, we’ll make sure the rest of your night isn’t so disappointing. Now that you’re here we can all do shots!”

The night was definitely the perfect distraction from your disaster of a date. You and your friends had spent all night on the dance floor, completely detached from everything else that was going on. You hadn’t even gone back to the bar to get more drinks, which was probably for the best. You were still just buzzed, not drunk, and that was much better for everyone involved.

You finally had to go get some water and sit down at the bar for a minute to catch your breath. You managed to maneuver through the packed groups of people and waited patiently for someone to free up a stool at the bar. You plopped down, taking a deep breath.

You were sitting back, sipping on your water when a familiar face materialized in front of you. Your eyes grew wide as a smile spread across your face. Hopping off of your stool you jumped and wrapped your arms around Angel.

“Holy shit,” you laughed as you stepped back so you could look at him, “What are you doing here?”

He chuckled, “Guy’s night out.”

You raised an eyebrow, “Since when does that not happen at the clubhouse, or over at Vicki’s?”

“It’s called branching out, querida,” he laughed.

“Who’s all here?” you looked around.

“Usual crew of troublemakers,” he nodded towards the door where Coco and Gilly were standing, chatting with a group of girls.

“No EZ?”

“He’s outside, him and Bish are having a smoke.” Your heart dropped into your stomach, and Angel saw the change on your face, “Still not talking?”

You shook your head, “Not in a long time. Never reached out to me.”

“Well, you got about two minutes before neither of you are left with much of another choice.”

“Fuck me,” you rolled your eyes and shook your head.

Angel ordered you each a shot and you took it, praying it would alleviate the nerves building up inside your chest. He wrapped an arm around your shoulders and pulled you against his side for a moment, “Quit stressing about it, Y/N. You’ll be fine.”

Before you could attempt to argue with him about how wrong he was, Bishop and EZ appeared on either side of him. Your breathing hitched as you took in the sight of Bishop after not having seen him in months. You forced out a hello to both him and EZ, and Angel took that as his cue to drag his brother off to find a different section of the club to hang out in.

It was just you and Bishop facing each other now. Every part of you wanted to get up and hug him, but you knew that it would undo months of work. You weren’t over him by any means, but you could at least pretend that you were.

“Wouldn’t expect to see you in a place like this,” you finally said.

He smiled, shaking his head, “Me either. It definitely,” he glanced around the club for a moment before returning his eyes to you, “wasn’t my idea.”

“Just being a good team player?”

He laughed, “Something like that,” he paused, “Can I get you a drink?”

You smiled, “Angel bought me a shot before you got here…but I’ll take a beer.”

He lingered close to you as the two of you talked. Somehow you managed to hear each other through the music and the sounds of a million other conversations happening around you. the bartender would wordlessly refill your empty beer glasses and neither of you commented to get them to stop. Every now and then Bishop’s hand would brush against yours as he reached for his glass and you didn’t comment on it, but you knew that you both noticed it happening.

You had been afraid that the conversation was going to feel awkward, or forced, but it wasn’t. Truthfully you had completely forgotten that you were there with your friends. By the looks of it, Bishop had decided to leave the rest of the club to their own devices. The two of you caught up about the safe topics. He asked you about work and you asked vague questions about the club, just inquiring to how everyone was doing.

“How’s my boy Chucky?” you asked with a smile.

Bishop laughed and nodded, “He is doing as well as he ever was. He and Leti are a dynamic duo now. Keeping each other out of trouble.”

You laughed, “That’s good,” you paused, biting down on your lip for a moment before saying, “I need to step out for a second and grab a smoke.”

“Want some company?” he was trying not to look too eager.

You smiled, “Sure.”

Bishop placed money on top of the bar and followed you towards the door. You’d caught Angel looking at the two of you and you purposely didn’t hold eye contact with him. As you were reaching the door to the club, you felt Bishop’s hand press lightly against the small of your back. You looked back and smiled, arching your brow.

“Hands to yourself, Bish,” you laughed as the two of you landed out on the sidewalk.

He chuckled, “Or what, you’re gonna fight me?”

You smiled as you leaned back against the outside wall of the club, digging your pack of cigarettes out of your purse, “You’ve seen what happens to men who get too handsy with me.”

He smiled, shaking his head as he took the cigarette that you offered him, “Do it, I dare you. It’s been a while since I’ve had to fight someone.”

“That’s not a streak you should be looking to break,” you laughed as you lit your smoke and passed the lighter over to him.

There was silence between the two of you for a little bit. Despite the fact that there was more physical space between you, it felt so much more intimate now that you were outside without the chaos of the club to distract you. If it had been a few months ago, the two of you wouldn’t have had any space between you—he never could manage to keep his hands off of you whenever the two of you went out. The gap between you felt wrong, but you weren’t going to be the one to close it.

“How badly do you want to be home right now?” you asked with a smile as you exhaled a cloud of smoke.

Bishop laughed, “You know dance clubs have never been my thing,” he stepped in a little closer to you, “But this part here isn’t so bad.”

You felt your face start to get hot and you couldn’t meet his eyes. He wasn’t touching you but you could practically feel the heat radiating off of his body. Without even meaning to he was making you feel so small, but part of you didn’t even mind it.

“Be careful, Obispo,” you were trying to keep things light but your voice came out so soft, “I think you’re forgetting who you’re talking to.”

His free hand came up and tilted your chin so that you were looking at him, “I haven’t forgot you yet, not even for a second,” he didn’t break eye contact with you, “And believe me, I’ve tried.”

You let out a shaky breath as you tilted your head up so that his hand was no longer touching you. You dropped your cigarette to the ground, snubbing it out with the ball of your foot. Bishop hadn’t back up at all and you were forced to look at him. There was a familiar light in his eyes, something that you had been missing desperately. He took one last drag before putting his cigarette out as well. You leaned back against the brick wall, trying to grant yourself a little more space between the two of you.

“I’ve missed this,” he said, visibly fighting the urge to pull you in close to him.

You nodded slightly, “Me too,” you swallowed hard, trying to force the words out, “You stopped answering my texts.”

He rested one hand on the back of his neck as he took a deep breath, “I figured that it would be best for you…for both of us.”

“I hate being broken up,” you blurted out. You quickly reached up and covered your mouth with your hand, unsure of where that had come from. It was true, sure, but you weren’t planning on saying it. You shook your head, “Fuck, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean, I know why we did but fuck, I just mi—”

You didn’t get to finish your sentence. He stepped in and pulled you into a rough kiss. One arm snaked around your waist while his other hand rested against the back of your neck, pressing you into him. After a moment the shock of it wore off and you fell into him, hands gripping his kutte and pulling him as close as humanly possible. He pushed your back flush against the side of the building and you couldn’t help but to moan into your kiss.

He finally pulled his lips off of yours. You tried to catch your breath as you rested your forehead against his. His grip on you loosened as his hands slid around your hips and found themselves nestled into your back pockets. You smiled at the comfort of the familiar gesture. You brought one hand up to the side of his face, tracing along his cheekbone and feeling his stubble slide underneath the pad of your thumb.

“I’ve missed you so much, Y/N,” his voice was hardly a whisper.

You gave him a quick peck on the lips, “I’ve missed you too.”

“I thought it would be better if we weren’t together anymore, and maybe it’s selfish of me, but I want you to come home,” he pulled away slightly so that he could look you in the eyes, “Please.”

You felt the anxiety melting out of your body. You had spent months imagining him saying those words and it was finally happening. “Can I come home tonight?”

He chuckled, nodding, “I’d love that,” he pulled you into a hug, letting your head rest against his chest, “And I would really love if we left now so I don’t have to go back in there.”

You laughed into his chest, “I guess that’s fair,” you pulled away, letting your hands slide so that your fingers interlocked with his, “Take me home Obispo.”

He laughed, tugging you in the direction of his bike, “It’d be my pleasure.”

#mayans mc #mayansmc #mayans fx #bishop losa x reader #bishop losa #mayans mc imagine #bishop losa imagine #bishop losa x you #bishop losa fanfiction #bishop losa angst #obispo losa #obispo losa x reader #obispo losa imagine #my writing #fanfiction #drabblesmc

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twstwonderlandstuff · 2 years

Text

valencia karasu (relationship hcs)

only listing the prevalent characters that I like! twisted wonderland, genshin impact and ikemen prince

twisted wonderland:

ace trappola: their relationships are like siblings. they annoy each other, tease each other, probably deck each other for the heck of it, but all in all, they care for each other.

deuce spade: also sibling vibes. they're both over emotional, not too smart, and attempt to help each other with their studies. it's not working.

cater diamond: a nice senior! I think they get along with their use of social media. t*kt*k, dances, trends, that sort of thing.

riddle rosehearts: honestly, like floyd and riddle. valie's a thorn, but sometimes, she gives him honest compliments that riddle enjoys. he's also deuce's and her tutor, so... RIP riddle.

ruggie bucchi: valie views ruggie as a cool senior who helps her out! I think he has this aggravated fondness over her, like... 'why the hell are you so dumb?' *sigh that has the slightest bit of care*

jack howl: she thinks jack is a good boy. and nice to tease. he cares for her, again, like siblings. honestly, its just him sighing over the other 1st years, before getting taken into the action as well.

floyd leech: chaotic buddies! I think valie's 'oh shit' moments are something floyd loves to tease her about, and he finds her attempts to tease him amusing. also, he's happy there's someone who doesn't mind being dragged out of nowhere (especially if its to skip class).

jade leech: pun squad! while valie doesn't enjoy puns, she's been subjected to vivica's sense of humor, so it's just naturally stored in her- and jade likes puns, so.

kalim al asim: his optimistic personality is something valie enjoys. it's nice to have someone so... nice in NRC, you know? his 'oh no, I think I forgot something' moments are just such a mood. disasters. as for kalim, I think he finds her fun.

jamil viper: she finds him scary, and jamil... finds her annoying. however, after chapter 4, they begin to bond over the feeling of pushed behind- that no matter how hard you try, you'll never be first, although of course, valie's feelings doesn't extend to jamil's. they become, at the very least, snarky acquaintances after that, except valie doesn't mean malice and pokes at him for fun- I'm not sure about jamil, though.

vil schoenheit: she just finds him beautiful, man, like- OTOME GOALS UGH- vil thinks this potato should stop making epel rebellious.

rook hunt: another chaos duo. their affinity over beautiful things and taking pictures of them are something they can bond over. valie, for all the wrong reasons, admires his photography skills and they just vibe over pretty people, man.

epel felmier: she attempts to drag him into chaos ALL the time and he more often than not, does it. breaking him out of pomefiore, attempting dumb stuff... 1st year shenanigans.

idia shroud: gacha game bonding- I'm sure he mocks her for having such shit luck and she goes and fights him and bla bla... oh yeah, they also bond over how cute cats are.

silver: MY BOY MY WIFE MY PRINCESS UGHHHH she's pining SO hard for him and is a desperate mess HELPPPP. silver is confused, but like also pining, but like... quiet, oblivious pining. I think her more cheerful and upbeat nature mixes well with his more somber tone.

sebek zigvolt: MY WIFE UGHH URGHHHH it's always a scream fest between them, and they get on each other's nerves SO much but eventually, they end up becoming friends. it just... takes time. eventually, valie forms a one-sided crush on the guy.

lilia vanrouge: she trusts him, and rants to him a lot. they're close, always touchy with each other, but in a totally platonic way. I'm sure she's cried in his lap more than enough times and lilia's like 'little bat, little bat...' lilia treasures her like a daughter, and is more than happy to tease her for her crushes against his knights.

malleus draconia: besties. absolute besties. he teaches her about gargoyles and she teaches him about the modern age. she playfully teases him, kicks him, that sort of thing and for malleus, she's his first friend, and he couldn't be more grateful.

grim: their partners in crime, and wouldn't who they are without each other. they're bond is totally platonic, and they love each other very much, even though its normally hidden by teasing.

all in all, she loves her friends very much, and while she's quite flirtatious, they are mostly platonic. as for their feelings towards her, it can be summed up in exasperated fondness.

genshin impact:

aratakki itto: she respects him! he's so tall, and cool, and fun! and I'm sure itto thinks she's an energetic kid.

bennett: surprisingly? she's his knight in shining armor, and hers. there's this bubbly kid-like crush with her to bennett where she'll be sort of awkward towards him, but in a nervous way and bennett is completely oblivious.

chongyun: another target for teasing, but otherwise, they get along swell. in some ways, I think chongyun respects her ambition, and she respects his optimism. she forms a crush over him because of his personality, but he treats her like a friend.

fischl: valie genuinely, like bennett, thinks she's from another world, and treats her as such, but like, seriously. kissing her hand, holding her when she walks, etc. I think eventually, valie falls for her after knowing its a bluff, but she doesn't tell fischl. as for fischl... she's too embarassed to tell valie that she's been fooled, and she doesn't really... mind, you know... so, they're good friends.

gorou: general! yes, sire! of course, she respects him because he's a general, but sometimes... she can't help but want to pet him. also she knows he's miss hina and has told him about it and now gorou wants to DIE. in an hc I saw, I think valie will help gorou come to terms with it, though. hell, he might even start liking being ms. hina.

razor: another good boy, huh? she attempts to help him study up words along with ms. lisa, and this time, it's actually working. for valie, I think her relationship with him falls in the thin line that is romantic and platonic love, while razor this of her is lupical, as a sister.

tartaglia: NAH, FUCK YOU GINGER MAN NAHHHH FUCK FUCK FUCK YOUUUU; meanwhile, childe doesn't even know who she is LOL

traveler (aether): a big brother. they adventure together, so they become quite close, telling each other about their fears and desires.

abyss princess (lumine): confusion and of course, bias towards aether. not very fond of her since she kinda you know fucks it up w/ the abyss order. lumine is aware of her, but doesn't see her as a threat.

paimon: again, very close, like family. she spoils paimon to the moon and back, and they, along with grim, like to dress up. aether doesn't join in, but sometimes he's forced too. family shenanigans, y'all.

venti: a cool bard, and a talented drummer! they are musically, out of sync, but she learns mondstadt's music through him. she also knows he's a god. venti finds her fun. I think it's like lilia and her, but venti's more of her taking care of him (you know, with his alcohol addiction).

xiao: XIAO XIAO XIAOOO idc how but their siblings. older, tired brother and excitable younger sister. although, it's less teasing and more trying to understand each other softly, if you understand me. the rare case of valie trying to get to know someone without teasing them.

xinyan: ROCK STAR OHMYGODDDD she's xinyan's biggest fan, just like that one millilieth guard. dreams about going on stage with her and when she does SAFDABSSABFDASFDBA WHATTHEUFCK. since valie's just a fan to xinyan, xinyan thinks she's cute, that's all, lol.

grim: again, very very close. joined to the hip. after the happenings of twisted wonderland, valie's lost her sight, so together, they're attempting to cope with this turn of events. also, grim's growing into the size of a mountain lion here.

ikemen prince:

yves kloss: falls head over heels with him and his tsundere attitude and his kindness and again, is bubbly and blushy over him. in a sense, she's like emma in the game, but the development takes a long, long time for the friendship to blossom, and then the romantic feelings. yves feeelings are strictly platonic, and there is no line being crossed. a cute little sister that he dotes on, but less openly (unlike with licht).

licht klein: similar to xiao, one of the rare instances where valie gets to know a person without the playfulness normally there, you know? though, it's a lot easier for her since she's grown and become wiser. eventually though, she brings that back with her. an hc is that like his brothers, she's attempting to get him drunk so she can video/ take a picture of him and show yves. licht thinks she's a nice person, and is grateful she reached out, both to him and yves. their relationship is strictly platonic on both ends.

grim: only yves knows about the 2 of them being from another world. licht doesn't know... yet.

and so with that is a total of... 7 crushes, with only silver likes her back because the others see her as a good friend. I have this story where they meet each other again after like 10-ish years (there's a whole story in my head) and then they start to fall in love with each other again and this time, this time, they finally confess to each other on how they feel and OHMYGODDSSHUT UPPPP

because, wouldn't it be unrealistic if they solely pinned and waited for each other for over 10 years without contact? I think so, so yeah. also a way for me to pine over other characters LOL

#valencia karasu #twisted wonderland #genshin impact #ikemen prince #not tagging all of y'all bye

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young-giftedblack · 3 years

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Have you heard about MM’s new children’s book being released just a few days before Catherine’s pandemic book? I thought they wanted privacy and yet time and time again they keep trying to one up the royal family! Plus the motives behind their book pales in comparison to Catherine’s being a collection of pandemic related photos..while hers is a “love letter”to her husband. Where’s the privacy? All i can smell is hypocrisy

Long post incoming!

I’d like to say I’m surprised but I’m not.

Didn’t they trademark Archewell under various classes?

https://trademarks.ipo.gov.uk/ipo-tmcase/page/Results/1/UK00003479914

The pair of them seriously think that they’ll make lots of cash from their love story.

What they don’t see is that they have a very limited group of fans and er... that’s it.

At this point in time, the Sussexes and their machine don’t care about the Sugars. It’s good marketing sense to go after the customers and audiences that you don’t yet have. That’s what translates into profit and success. Not stagnation.

Unfortunately for the Sussexes, they’ve shot themselves in the foot by:

* Biting the hand that feeds them. Very few people in the UK are now enamoured by them and so expect any type of merchandise and/or PR to be an utter fail.

In the same way that The Sun newspapers don’t sell AT ALL in Liverpool due to lies spouted during the Hillsborough disaster is the same way that anything these two try to throw at us will not be successful.

* The Commonwealth. The duo miscalculated just how important the Royal family still is to the Commonwealth. The PR of Meghan leaving due to racism did not stick.

Why?

Because even at it’s lowest level, the average black person that doesn’t support the Royal Family will say the following:

“Of course they’re racist. What was she expecting when she entered the family? Now she wants my support? Is she dumb? How old is she? (That she hasn’t yet learnt which circles to mix in?)

* The Queen and Prince Philip. Incredible old age and one at death’s door at the time of the Oprah interview. And yet they still went after the institution and their ‘bosses’ like that. You don’t offend our 95-year-old Queen and get away with it that easily.

* The titles. They are still to this day referring themselves as Duke and Duchess. The fact that Meghan Markle and Hasbeen are still going by those titles has to be affecting their mental health, no? Or is their mental health only affected when not profiting from these terrible, titles given by a racist institution?

As for launching the book around the same time as our ‘trusty and well-beloved’ Duchess of Cambridge... they need that connection. They’re desperate for that connection because let’s face it, take that away from them and what do they have?

Nada. Nothing. Zero. Rien.

So , they will continue to spin the story of two star-crossed lovers who fell in love and against all odds (racist UK and family) managed to find the strength to leave a toxic situation and are now living happily ever after.

They invite you to share in their happiness by liking, commenting and also subscribing to their podcast.

Oh, and to buy their books.

All while promoting compassion in action.

Influencer much?

Ain’t nobody checking for these two apart from sugars. I’m just waiting for their downfall while my Duchess of Cambridge rises.

#royal family #royals #uk royal family #meghan markle #duchessofsussex #harry and meghan #meghanandharry #just harry #megain #brf #duchess of cambridge #british royal fandom #british royalty

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angstyaches · 3 years

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8 or 9 for Shayne, 14, 20, 25, 26, 32, 33, 34 pls <3

Thanks so much, anon! Sorry for the wait 🖤

Ask Game

8. Is there a certain song or playlist of songs you have that make you think of an OC/your story for them?

Shayne is my main comfort character, and I associate a lot of songs with him, but here's a list of some that are specifically on my Swallow the World playlist because they specifically make me think of him:

"RIP", "Teeth", and "Eye for an Eye" by 8 Graves (honestly, all of their music is a Shayne Vibe for me)

"Little Poor Me" by Layto

"Spit it Out" and "Wish I Wasn't Me" by Solence

"Over It" by Memphis May Fire

There are some that I specifically associate with Shayne and his relationship with Charlie:

"Lovely" cover by Lauren Babic

"Looks Like Rain" by The New Shining

"Beautiful Way" by You Me At Six

"Heaven" by Solence

9. What is one of your character's theme songs?

If I had to pick just one, it'd be "Eye for an Eye" by 8 Graves.

14. Which OC/s do you relate to the most?

I relate most to Shayne and Felix.

20. Do any of you OCs have pets? What kind? NAME?

Right now, Nancy is the only one from Swallow the World who has a pet. He’s a chameleon and his name is Turquoise (mushroom anon yelled at me about this before so now I’m scared lmao)

There may or may not be another pet who’ll be introduced... eventually. I’m way too excited about it not to give you guys something, though, so let’s just say that her name is going to be Three.

In Lucyverse, Donnacha has a dog back home! She’s a golden lab/mongrel named Millie and she’s a big, goofy sweetheart.

25. Are there any two characters that are like a dynamic duo/group?

Shayne / Charlie - I mean, come on.

Elliott / Felix - always a crowd pleaser.

Shayne / Felix - Shayne gets so freaked out by how intense Felix can get, it’s adorable.

Shayne / Elliott - these two idiots can barely function as individuals, let alone take care of each other.

Ryan / Nancy - one’s an airhead, the other uses too much logic. Recipe for (heavenly) disaster.

Rin / Charlie - neither of them ever had a friend who was so unconditionally kind to them before. They have a really beautiful friendship based on careful listening and responding to the other’s needs.

Lucy / Henry - neither of them has their life together, yet they will always try to fix the other.

Donnacha / Henry - my dumb, queerplatonic boys, I love them, that is all.

Payton / Autumn - they’re both so perfectly sweet, I find they’re an extremely self-indulgent couple to think about.

Autumn / Claudette - best friends with no secrets and no sense of embarrassment around each other.

26. What’s your favourite relationship/dynamic between a set of OCs?

This might be the most obvious answer, but Shayne x Charlie. There’s so much angst going on there and if I was really mean, I’d let it go on forever (but I don’t, because they do, in fact, deserve to be happy. Eventually. Hehe.)

32. What’s been the most ambitious project you’ve made/are making surrounding your characters?

Hmmm. Off-blog, I have about three novel ideas that I want to finish working on, but I have also considered turning Swallow the World into a novel too, editing it a lot more, and maybe (maybe?!) self-publishing it someday. Whether it would be quite as indulgent in *ahem* certain aspects or not, remains to be seen. I’d hate to have a book out there and not to able to tell any of the people in my life about it.

33. Have you ever had to kill off an OC? How hard was it?

One of my off-blog projects actually revolves around the death of an OC. It wasn’t difficult, particularly because of the devastation it causes the protagonist. Another angsty boi. Who would have guessed?

34. What scene that you’ve written/imagined is your favorite?

One I always come back to is the scene that takes place in Shoes on the Covers, one of the first chapters I ever posted on my blog. I definitely plan on rewriting it someday, and getting rid of the first-person POV. Shayne shows up at Charlie’s house after having a really horrible day, before they’ve even become friends, and acts like an asshole as Charlie continues to be kind to him, until he eventually winds down and admits he’s not feeling well, and lets Charlie try to take care of him... Guys, it’ll never not make me feel warm and cosy inside.

#StW Shayne #ask #anon #ask game #ask meme #OC asks #writing stuff #get to know Flick I guess

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fatesdeepdive · 3 years

Text

Entry 12: All Hail Takumi

Castle building time! I built a giant dragon statue that heals units during invasions, which is nice I guess, and also an arena so I can make my soldiers fight to the death and bet on whether they perish! Unfortunately, when I went to use the arena, the dumb clerk said I couldn’t use it yet. Meanie.

Support: Hinata/Oboro

C: Hinata’s hair is too long, so Oboro cuts it for him. He requests she make him look like Takumi, because apparently one dude with a pineapple haircut is too few. The duo reflect on their mutual admiration of Takumi, their desire for his coolness to rub off on them, and their rivalry over who is more loyal.

B: Hinata offers to cut Oboro’s hair and she rejects him, saying that he will mess it up because he’s Hinata. The two of them continue talking about how cool Takumi is and how much they want to be like him.

A: Hinata and Oboro discuss the fact that they only bicker because they respect each other. Also, Takumi is cool. All hail Takumi.

S: The two of them get engaged, talking about Takumi throughout their proposals.

Review: Holy crap you two, shut up about Takumi. He isn’t even cool. They have good chemistry, but all they talk about is how much they love Takumi.

Support: Azama/Hinoka

C: Azama makes fun of Hinoka’s hair, clothes, and clumsiness, despite the fact that she’s a goddamn member of the royal family and probably could have him executed on the spot. She threatens to stab him and he brings up the fact that he’s only her retainer because he saved her life once.

B: Hinoka is sad over the deaths of innocent soldiers and Azama gives no sympathy because people die every day. She questions why he saved her when she was a child and he says he did it because she looked furious and he thought saving her would be interesting. She points out that he’s a horrible person, but says she respects his confidence.

A: Hinoka begs Azama to save a dying man and Azama says it isn’t worth the effort. When pressed, he says the man will die anyway. Hinoka orders him to do his damn job and he begrudgingly tries to save the dying man. He dies anyway, and Azama tells Hinoka that she should have just let him die peacefully, telling her that her kindness will be her downfall.

S: Azama goes up to Hinoka and tells her that they’re engaged. Hinoka kinda just goes along with it after Azama lists his good qualities.

Review: I actually kinda liked this one, oddly enough. Azama’s dickishness went so far that it looped around and made him likeable. This conversation touches on the horrors of war in a way that most conversations don’t and I do enjoy Azama teaching Hinoka that there are limits to her kindness. I just wish that Azama’s lackadaisy attitude was a facade, a la Hawkeye Pierce. The two of them, like most couples in this game, have little chemistry. Still, Azama going up to a member of the royal family and declaring the two of them engaged is so audacious I respect it.

Support: Corrin/Mozu

C: Mozu is lugging around some heavy boxes full of vegetables, because she is a strong little girl. This leads to a conversation about Mozu’s village; Corrin asks if Mozu misses her old life, Mozu says not to worry, Corrin says she’ll probably never stop worrying about Mozu.

B: Mozu talks about hunting as a child. Apparently she fought bears, because Mozu is a god of death.

A: Corrin decides to give Mozu a basic education, which Corrin is in no way qualified to do, considering that she has consistently shown herself to be the dumbest person in our army. Corrin says some stuff about the army being Mozu’s new family and Mozu cries. It’s sweet.

S: Corrin says he used to pity Mozu, but now has nothing but respect for her for her courage. The two of them get married.

Review: Corrin’s interactions with Mozu are very sweet. The S-Rank, again, doesn’t really work, but then again few S-Rank’s do. Overall, a very charming support line, if a bit bland. Also Mozu killed a bear with her bare hands because she is a terrifying death god disguised as a little girl.

Support: Hinoka/Setsuna

C: Setsuna makes Setsuna a cup of tea so bad it’s almost poisonous. The two of them discuss the fact that they both suck at cooking and decide to team up to become better chefs.

B: Hinoka and Setsuna try to make eggs. It does not go well.

A: The girls finally make a good meal by working together and decide they can do anything if they put their minds to it. Setsuna gets stuck in the pantry.

Review: This was a fluff support line, which is okay, I guess. I would have liked it to have a bit more meat, perhaps an explanation of why she made the walking disaster that is Setsuna her retainer, but I will admit that it was a fun read.

Birthright Chapter 10: Ninja Village

The party travels through Mokushu, the ninja country from Kaze and Saizo’s support conversation. Kaze says that he isn’t worried about the people of Mokushu being conquered by Nohr because of their sick martial arts prowess. Zola sneaks up on the party because...wait, hold on, they didn’t tie him up? We weren’t shown him escaping, so I guess that means they just let him go after he tried to kill him. My god, Corrin gets dumber with each passing moment.

Zola surrenders and begs for amnesty. Corrin asks why they should trust him and he says that they really shouldn’t, cause of the whole attempted murder thing. But, he doesn’t have an army anymore, which means he isn’t a threat. He says that he can be of assistance and Corrin decides to bring him along, ignoring objections from the smart people in the party. To be fair, she does say Hinoka will kill him if he acts suspicious, but seriously just leave him in Mokushu he’s obviously going to betray you. Want to know how I know? Because he didn’t join our army.

Suddenly, someone throws a shuriken at Sakura. Kaze identifies it as belonging to a Mokushu ninja. Zola speculates that Mokushu might have an alliance with Nohr. The daimyo of Mokushu, Kotaro, shows up and says that Mokushu has an alliance with Nohr. Then the battle starts.

The map is filled with spike traps that activate as we step on them. We can use the Dragon Veins to spring them on the enemies instead. At the start of turn two, Takumi just kinda wanders into the battle and starts shooting Hinoka, which is weird because she isn’t one of the sisters he hates. Also he keeps muttering kill and is labeled an enemy, which is probably bad. He also whines about his inferiority complex, which is why he’s way lamer than Ryoma.

Azura sings to him and breaks his mind control. What can’t singing do?

During this map, I was reminded that Takumi is an unstoppable death god who can kill everything with ease. I paired him up with Corrin and waltzed through the woods, one-shotting ninjas left and right. I did hold them back and let Saizo kill the boss, though. Because, you know, he killed Saizo’s dad, something only told in an optional support conversation. Saizo actually has unique dialogue with him where he does the whole Inigo Montoya thing. Although, it was technically Hinoka who did the finishing blow, because Saizo doesn’t hit hard enough to kill.

Overall, this map was fine, I guess. The spikes were more a nuisance than a serious game changer. I did get good healer HP, though. Speaking of healers, there’s one stationed in the top right of the map who watched as I killed every other member of the army and slowly approached her before putting an arrow between her eyes. We’re the good guys!

After the battle, Hinoka and Sakura cry over how happy they are that Takumi isn’t evil anymore. He explains that he and Ryoma were separated after being attacked and that he ended up falling into the bottomless canyon. Then he woke up mind controlled and attacking us. I’m sure that’s not something we need to worry about.

At the end of the chapter, Takumi is finally nice to Azura because she saved him. Also Azura starts coughing, which means she is definitely going to die at the end of the game.

Kaze returns with Kagero, Ryoma’s ninja retainer who was imprisoned in Kotaro’s cellar. She tells us that Ryoma went to Cheve to fight Nohr. And didn’t look for his brother ever, I guess.

Overall, this chapter was okay. The stuff with Zola was dumb and could have been handled last chapter, and the fact that is completely sidelines Saizo is kinda frustrating, but Takumi got some cool character development and there was some foreshadowing about the bottomless canyon.

#fates #fire emblem fates #takumi fe #corrin fe #mozu fe #corrin x mozu #hinata x oboro #hinata fe #oboro fe #saizo fe #mokushu #hoshido #nohr #azura fe #fire emblem 14 #fe 14 #fire emblem birthright

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zirkkun · 4 years

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Yo you have every right to be upset about things! You're still a person with your own feelings and deserve to be treated kindly. No one should come at you for making things you enjoy or for misunderstandings. I hope things get better for you even if I wasn't here for when all the drama happened (or maybe I was and just wasn't aware of it? I tend to avoid drama as much as possible tbh)

I didn't really post about it much. I think I answered about 4 asks about it (three of them in the same post because i was sure it was the same anon due to the similar string of seemingly continued messages) and the rest I just deleted as soon as they came in, but I got... A lot. A lot of mean things said too. Kinda hurts when you wanted to make something because you knew this work was highly criticized and wanted to let people give it a second chance only to be shot down by the people you were hoping to defend lol

In short, and a lot of it I missed because I was blocked by a lot of people so my friend sent me screencaps; someone took I believe only the old ask box post I had for ULR, which at the time was called "Underlust Rewrite," and was disgusted at the fact that everything was revamped and "made for kids" (because it's not 18+ explicit content, but as I've said before, it's just cause I'm too scared to be horny on main, and I've literally made a whole different biological system for ULR so I can write the necessary story ""sex scenes"" without it being human-like sex or otherwise uncomfortable or too explicit for me to draw, but I still consider it a mature story overall), so they blocked me instantly here and on twitter and then made a callout post on twitter itself. People were telling me originally to stop calling the AU Underlust, and I didn't really get it at first, because like, what's the difference between my spinoff and, say, Underlust Gold, Swapfell Indigo, TS!Underswap, you know, names that have add-ons from the original title to differentiate it but still connect it to the source. So that's what I said, as well as if I removed the Underlust name, it would be considered stealing to me, because I'd be disconnecting it from the source. But apparently, instead, what had been the concern was that it was just being called "Underlust" and the "Rewrite" aspect was implying I was replacing the original story, which like, had never been my intention and I've made a bunch of things with both the ULR and UL cast together and love the idea of Lust and Ace meeting up and just being a disaster duo of not working together at all. I just adore Underlust like it's in my pinned FAQ, Lust's been in my banner for months now, and he's practically my staple pfp character on every account but here atm.

It took like 3 days for it to actually click what was going on, because once I finally got the chance to have a conversation with someone where they weren't telling me I was the scum of the Earth -- which, honestly, bless the three people I talked to, they were so sweet (which actually included someone from the Japanese side of the fandom whose art I loved too... yeah it got pretty far. Once I sent them a message though it was cleared up quickly and they did post a clarification post about ULR and me, so that was nice to see.) -- I finally got the chance to realize that this was a misunderstanding from the beginning, from both sides, where people coming at me were saying I was doing all of the stuff above and probably more but those stuck the most, while I was confused as to where this information and accusations were coming from and what they were referring to in the first place. They probably never explained it in the anon asks because, well, they probably assumed I knew what I was doing, but when they came at me about something I didn't do with vague context of something I did do, I was very confused, and got really defensive really quickly, and really honestly snapped pretty hard. After my first initial explanation post and people were still trying to tell me to stop ULR/don't call it Underlust/whatever else there was, I just got tired and told people to block me if they didn't like it. But that didn't really stop anyone and honestly made it worse because that's when I started getting really nasty messages. I like... Specifically remember one where someone called me a lowlife and a thief, and that one stuck the most, but I tended to not read through them before deleting them for my own sanity. I actually did this to one of the people who'd later talked to me calmly about it at first too, because I had just woken up, and really didn't want to read an essay lecture on everything everyone's been telling me at the crack of 7am when I was borderline ready to delete my account and start over lol

Some people I do remember were accusing me of trying to censor nsfw content or erase it as well because ULR isn't 18+, and I'm out here on my horny ass like "wh. What are they talking about, where did you get that idea, have you SEEN my ao3 recommended list," /j but in all seriousness I really didn't understand that accusation at all because I've never been against nsfw content in the slightest and lowkey? This is very dumb -- but like, you know how they say when you get hate mail, you know you've made it? Well, for me, my thought has always been, "When there's 18+ fancontent of my OC's, I'll have finally made it." This is... Not a joke, some of my friends think its very weird LMAO oh well. I've been on the internet for far too long at this point -- like, definitely since I was far too young, probably, and being with a family of the next youngest being 12 years older than me, I really dove into stuff pretty quickly I definitely shouldn't have, but hey that's life -- I'm really unfazed by mostly anything now. Hell, me making ULR was honestly half motivated by me wanting to make others more comfortable with this kind of media, discussing sexuality and otherwise sexual-considered topics, without really being embarrassed or bothered by it. Because, people talk about death and killing and whatever other gorey stuff just fine, but the moment sex comes up, people just gasp in awe, y'know? I kind of grew up that way myself but like... ironically, in being more comfortable with my asexuality, I realized that it's honestly not that big of a deal. Sure, we don't need to hear the details of everything. We don't need to hear the details of a murder either. But I will never understand how murder is always the lowest on the "morally wrong list of things to not to" to so many people and that it's fine to mention, but even consider bringing up anything else and it's like, a sin and you're a bad person. Even racism is like, higher up on there for a lot of people, which it's like... this is an issue that needs to be discussed, or it can never be solved. You can't just kick that away and hope it goes away on its own, that's never how it works.

Ah, well, now I've gone off tangent lol. Sorry to make you read a blob of text lmao but having things in a cohesive format of what I've been thinking does feel a bit better. Thank you for the support regardless, and I do want to keep making what I really enjoy, because frankly, I really want to make things that make people take a step back and think for a moment, y'know? Things that invoke like a realization in yourself about something you didn't even know. That's how fiction's always been for me, so I want to give back by making it that way too. ... maybe my horny content is exempt from this however. That's just. Self indulgence LMAO.

Probably helps that I'm actually talking this all out for once, too, since before any of this I tried to keep as much of the situation contained to myself as possible in hopes I could clean it up before it got too bad. That was, in hindsight, probably a terrible idea lol. But I didn't want to be a source of stress for anyone following me or become the new creator-to-defend that like, 50% of people hate and 50% of people love and that you're either on one side or the other and there's no where in between. (I feel like Arin Hanson comes to mind for me every time I think of someone like this.) I know I can't please everyone and I knew internet hate would come eventually, but like, didn't expect it to be over a name or tag choice. I thought that would be a simple enough DM or clearable thing but apparently not, especially since I saw someone a few weeks ago delete their blog over a similar thing (though, the opposite, in a way: posting nsfw in a sfw tag by mistake). It wasn't in the UT fandom so y'all probably weren't following them (tbf I wasn't either, I just witnessed it happen from start to finish), but it was still disheartening.

Anyway, thank you, and sorry to make ya read all of that (if you actually did vahdbs don't blame you if you don't it's a lot of thought dump lmao)💕💕

#zircon answers #anonymous #all this happened like the DAY i got accepted onto the bhc team to and i was like #alright guys am i being kicked out day one lol #like i was expecting the worst from this whole thing #but im still kind of happy with how i worked it out #i really wish more people were like #willing to talk things out rather than just spit in a general direction and hope youll listen #because like even the people i talked to calmly some of them were pretty rude at first! but!#theyre not bad people #they were just scared for their favorite thing #i cant blame them for that and honestly i do consider the hatred justified under the circumstances that they knew #but they were all really nice after we talked things out #and were like 'i hope your series does well' and that really meant a lot honestly #death mention tw//

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twofootedbones · 4 years

Text

Rose Colored Shades

Summary: There was once a moment where Latula knew who Cronus was, but when you’re wearing rose colored glasses, every flag is just a flag.

A look through Latula’s eyes and her view of was had happened between her, Cronus, and Mituna that made them break farther apart than she would have ever liked.

You know those stories, those ones where they always start with the “just us three against the world?” Well that’s how this one starts. It was just me and my boys, my two goofballs that I loved with my whole bloodpusher. My matesprit Mituna Captor and my considering morail Cronus Ampora. The days we spent together were always perfect, it didn’t matter if we got a skate trick wrong, got chased away for loitering, or just couldn’t get past this one level in some dumb video game we picked up from the discount bin. We were the perfect Kingdom Bloodpushers trio! One epic heroine and her two boy sidekicks.

Then we started the game. Me and ‘Tuna saw it as the perfect challenge and we dragged poor ol’ Cro along with us. It didn’t take long for a lot of things to go sour though. Everyone started screaming and punching, pretty sure half of the screaming was Kankri’s fault but it was chaos nonetheless. We all went from one radical kickass group into a clusterfuck of horrible words and totally not rad violence. No one listened to each other and everyone tried to be the leader. Many of us actually broke away from the group to do things our own way. Blame is on teenage angst.

Then it happened. I wasn’t around to see it and I beat myself up about it every single day. The only one to see it was that stupid mime and he barely showed an ounce of pitty in those cursed eyes. Just bringing the body to us, plopping him on the ground, and walking away like he didn’t just deliver us the most horrific thing we had ever seen. No one knew how to act at this point, we stood there just staring at him. The Tuna I once knew was gone, none of us knew how to help him, he laid there on the ground just shaking and crying. He was covered in his own

The cursor flashed on the screen, waiting for the next words to be written. Latula leaned back in her desk chair, wiping the sudden tears away from her face ultimately ruining the minimal mascara she had put on just hours before. This was going to take a while. She didn’t know why she was trying to write something like this, Aranea claimed that writing gave “feels closure” whatever that meant. Just a few feet away sat lil Mituna. Well he wasn’t that little as he towered over her by a solid foot, but he was her little honey bee. He was starfishing in the bean bag chair as he idly chewed on a necklace he found somewhere in his hive. His hair was held out of his face by one of Latula’s scrunchies and he sat in just a pair of gym shorts, the fern leaf-like scars that danced across his body being revealed. He hated it when the others saw them, she was the only exception. She was allowed to gaze upon and touch the flowing scars. It was as if his veins had been dyed faint shades of red and blue.

He had yet to notice her eyes on him and continued to just stare off at the wall, not even paying mind to the show that was playing on the TV. Latula took a deep breath and turned back to the document.The same blinking cursor ready for her to continue.

When he woke up he wasn’t the same, or so I was convinced. When his eyes finally opened, they weren’t the same red and blue slushie color I was so used to seeing. They were completely void of his colors, a black and white that he carried with him to the dream bubbles. He was afraid and confused and he didn’t recognize any of us. He tried to run from all of us whenever he was awake, but all he gained from that was agitating all the harsh electrical burns he had. I was starting to grow sick of yellow being smeared all over the room. The day ‘Tuna first woke was the same day I saw Cronus Ampora genuinely cry for the last time. He stopped coming to visit Mituna shortly after, claiming that everything that came out of his mouth was wrong even though all that really came out was screams of fear. The last time he visited he lashed out at him, it wasn’t much just a shout of the words “shut up” before he ran out of the room. I was willing to push that aside back then, I was at my wits end too. We thought that my matesprit and his best friend was gone. We both believed that our trio was soon going to be a duo. Cronus couldn’t bear to see his friend like this anymore, leaving me alone to take care of him.

It didn’t take long for Tuna to start using words again. Guaranteed they were in the wrong order, but they were words. He stopped screaming at everyone and he stopped trying to run away from all of us. But he would still pick at his scabs and burns.

One day he asked me what my name was for the ten-thousandth time. Except instead of repeating it back to me or forgetting it immediately, this dork said and I quote: “That’s pretty, like you!”

At that moment I swear I was falling in love with him twice over. Every time I would come into the block we kept him in he would call me pretty. He eventually started calling me by my name, but for months he would always ask for me by calling me “the pretty lady”

Not even a sweep passed before we were all done for. Our game failed and now here we are living forever in the dream bubbles. Totally not a rad ending I kn

A crash interrupted her typing, she quickly turned around only to see that Mituna was no longer in the block with her. “Tuna?” she called out. A faint mumble came before she heard the boy in question reply from the nutrition block. “I DIDN’T BREAK ANYTHING,” was all he screamed. Latula had long gotten used to his lack of volume control. “It was plas- pl- not glass!” he followed in a completely different tone. “Are you sure you don’t need help bee?” she got up out of her chair and started walking towards the block. Standing in the center of a tupperware war-zone stood Mituna Captor and his perfectly poured cup of orange juice. “Hi,” he said with the largest smile plastered onto his face. Latula’s smile came slowly before she was just flat out wheezing at the scene before her, Mituna joined his cackling laugh mixing with hers. The Captor stopped to take a sip of the juice before kicking around at the tupperware. They couldn’t have anything glass in the hive because of this and the glass they do have is hidden in the lowest cabinets where this gentle giant doesn’t think to look.

“What happened?”

Mituna pointed up towards the cabinet. “I put the-them away lasst,” he admitted. The boy’s version of putting away the dishes is to stack up a disaster that will ultimately topple over the second someone would open the door. He put his cup down on the counter and started to clean up the mess. Latula joined him. This wasn’t anything really that new, he would always set up the dishes this way in Cronus’ hive whenever they would visit, just to watch the seadweller open the door to be pelted by this psionic’s genius pranks. Now it’s become a normal schedule to never open the cabinet door fully. Kankri has told them that Cronus still does that as a habit, having to watch the seadweller cringe before opening anything every time he goes over there to lecture him. Meenah has even just told Cronus to remove the door if he’s going to keep complaining about it

After fixing the nutrition block back up and settling Tuna back into his spot, this time with juice and a movie he would actually kind of focus on, Latula returned to her husktop, spamming the space bar to wake it back up.

Ya know, when you look at the world through rose colored glasses, all the red flags just look like flags. Things started to get worse and worse with Cronus the more ‘Tuna recovered. Cronus just couldn’t see the friend he once knew anymore but that gives him no right to treat him the way he did and still does. The day we started to completely cut off all contact with Cronus was the day he actually hit Mituna in front of me. Me and ‘Tuna were just out skating, trying to find the best place to try some basic tricks when we came across Cro’. We took a short break to talk to him for a bit, I should’ve noticed this so much sooner but Mituna was extremely uncomfortable being around him. It’s my fault for not hearing it in his words. Cronus continued to speak some kind of friendship nonsense and wrapped his arm around my bee’s shoulder. ‘Tuna tensed up and shoved the guy away, hard. Cronus looked at him shocked just standing there. Then the bastard said something I will never forget. “I should’ve fucking culled you after we found your broken sorry-ass,”

Then he reeled back and punched ‘Tuna square in the face. The visor on that helmet cracked and shattered. They started to brawl. Mituna pulled off his helmet to throw it right at Cronus’ chest and managed to pick up his skateboard to slam it into the dude’s side. I grabbed onto ‘Tuna and got out of there ASAP, the poor boy continuing to scream, swear and shout jumbled words all the way until we got back to my hive. I don’t know what happened to the beaten fucker in the dirt, but he could just sit there and wallow for all I care.

I blocked Cronus on every single platform we shared that night, went into ‘Tuna’s accounts and did the same. While he doesn’t use any of his accounts any more they are important to me and I wouldn’t want that asshole touching any of it. Each and every post being a museum of what Mituna Captor once was and continues to be.

There have been more times where the two of them have gotten into fights, usually times where I’m not around. I try my best to stay by his side and keep him away, but I can’t coddle him. I refuse to baby my baby. There’s-

A sudden weight on her shoulders interrupted her writing. “Whatcha writing, Tulip?” her boy said in a sing-song voice. She lifted her arms up to grab onto the ones around her. “Oh, nothing too important,” she tilted her head up to give him a quick kiss on the cheek. Mituna giggled and rubbed his face in her hair. She laughed, pushing the arms off her and getting up. “Wanna watch another movie? I’ll watch with you this time,” she asked, hugging him close. She felt those same awkward lanky arms wrap around her. “Nah, let’ss play Trollio Kart,” he said.

“Flushed for you,”

“Flushshed for you tooo,”

#homestuck #mituna captor #latula pyrope #mitula #latuna #dancestors #homestuck fanfic #hs mituna #hs latula

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