#i may need to try plan 2 and plan 3 purely for test purposes

[frogeyedape]

April: opposing plies!

Ok so chaos gremlin that I am, I have started spinning despite not having committed to a single plan. I have 3 plans on an index card: 1) basic s & z singles plied s for knitting, 2) s z z plied s for stretchy hard wearing sock yarn, 3) s s z plied s to find out why only energizing one of the singles is the "rule". What fucked up yarn will I create and will 3 be twice as stretchy and hard wearing as 2 or will it just be a nightmare to work with?

Notes for first singles, already have a good start on my bobbin: s, flyer 2 (middle whorl on flyer), drive biggest (biggest whorl on drive wheel), accel 2 (middle whorl on accelerator wheel) (it's a spinolution queen bee). This ratio is FAST, I am spinning pretty fine :D

[worriedvision]

A bitter truth (Part 4) - Gorou & Albedo

(Part 3) (Part 2) (Part 1)

So I know it looks like I’m going towards this being purely albedo x reader however I have an idea thats finally starting to make sense for Gorou being part of it lol! Gender neutral reader, and finally I’ve started to get more romance into this!

The next day, Albedo actually manages to convince Diluc he was responible enough to take care of you for the day, explaining discretely that he knew about the vision you were still not used to using. He feels a piercing pair of eyes when he turns to leave, and Diluc gives a strong warning to him.

“If anything happens to them, you’ll have to explain yourself to the Acting Grand Master.”

Nodding, Albedo gulps before leaving the tavern, waving you over before starting to walk towards starsnatch cliff. 

The plan for the day was to figure out the limits to your vision, and because you were speed-based, Albedo agreed that you would be better in a more open area than the mountains of Dragonspine. You still refused to remove the bag that covered your vision, part of you fearing the idea of Gorou seeing you with it. Albedo sighs out, shaking his head at how obnoxiously the bag hung on your leg. Honestly, he thought that you looked more suspicious with the bag than a vision, especially in a place like Mondstadt. 

Grasping your polearm, you look down at the tip of the weapon. 

“Try to focus your energy on infusing your weapon.” Albedo states cooly. 

Taking a deep breath, you slowly begin to loosen your grip on the weapon, letting the weapon comfortably rest in your hand as you start to visualise a vibrant purple shade slowly begin to decorate the weapon. Albedo watches on, having to stop himself from smiling when seeing your eyes glint with excitement and eagerness. 

Only to get cut off by you yelping. Albedo rushes over, noticing you’ve just electrocuted your own hand out of your lack of control over the vision. Albedo hums in thought, grasping your hand as he begins to carry out first aid before wrapping it in a bandage as a finishing touch. 

“I would recommend keeping a bandage wrapped around this hand even after properly wielding your vision.” Albedo hums out in thought, you nodding as you feel him massaging your hand softly before pulling away, seemingly stopping himself from kissing the back of your hand to tease you.

“Hmm, how about we test your speed instead of your weapon for now...” Albedo places a hand on his chin in thought.

“That would probably be easier to grasp than the weapon right now, yes.” You chuckle out. 

“See the top of the cliff there?” Albedo starts. “I want you to use as much speed as you can. Of course, we need to see you sprint without your vision before we test the waters.” Albedo explains out loud. 

“So I sprint up to the top there,” You start out, “And then sprint down?”

Shaking his head, Albedo chuckles softly before stopping you from exhausting yourself.

“No, of course not. You may walk back here after your ascension to the top of the cliff.”

--

A moderately boring sprint later, and Albedo has you beginning to experiment with your vision. you attempt to manifest your electro into your hands, but Albedo cuts you off by pointing at your bandage covered hand. Nodding, you instead focus on your legs.

“For safety purposes, I would like to wait at the top of this hill.” Albedo looks up, beginning to walk up the cliff with no word uttered to you. 

He raises his hand, ready to see you in action.

--

To your horror, you run quicker than you expected. Due to your lack of anticipation of the run being this much faster, you find yourself trying and failing to find a target to run to. 

Albedo watches on, having a bad feeling before he realises the look of fear on your face is from your speed. Looking behind him, he notices the far drop to the water below, and he darts his eyes back, preparing himself to catch you before you fall. 

Rushing past Albedo, you attempt to stop your legs. While your legs stop running, you don’t stop moving - the ground seemingly slippery under your foot. Just as you reach the tip of the cliff, you feel a firm grasp on your arm. The bag on your waist falls off the edge of the cliff, and you gasp as you realise the ‘disguise’ for your vision is now gone. Albedo tugs you back, sighing out of relief when he realises he won’t get a telling off from Diluc for endangering you. 

“I need a rest.” You sigh out, clearly scared from what you had experienced. Albedo nods, getting you to lay down on a safe patch on starsnatch cliff, joining you by your side as you both look up at the clouds. 

--

Gorou and yourself used to take moments to just admire the sky, the light breeze complimenting the few seconds of calm as you point out clouds, Gorou simply letting you talk as he laughed at your childish antics. 

Eventually, your hand falls to your side, and you find your hand beginning to snake over, hoping to grasp Gorou’s hand. 

However, Gorou yelps when he feels the tip of your pinky brush against his, shooting up before looking away from you as quickly as he humanly could. Before you could apologise for the sudden contact, he simply walks back to camp, he leaves you to think to yourself.

--

Albedo and yourself are now looking up at the almost clear sky, the clouds simply peppering the sight. No words are mentioned, and before you realise it, your hand is comfortably in his. You begin to spit out apologies to Albedo for holding his hand, but he cuts you off by squeezing your hand reassuringly.

“Worry not.” He states. “I like it.” He smiles up at the sky. 

--

 “Honorary Knight!” Amber hurriedly rushes to the traveler, who was currently accompanied by Gorou and Paimon. “We have recieved many reports of suspicious electro activity on the starsnatch cliff. Could you investigate it for us, pretty please?” Amber hums out, placing her hands together as she begins to beg with puppy eyes. 

Before the traveler can be skeptical, however, Gorou finds himself answering for them.

“Of course! Traveler, lead the way!” Gorou enthusiastically sings as he starts to ready himself for another experience.

The walk to the spot itself was uneventful, Paimon talking for most of the journey and Gorou talking about his joy of hiking. The traveler didn’t say anything, just hoping this wasn’t going to be another abyss lector or fatui mage. Looking up, they spot you and Albedo laying hand in hand. Raising a brow, they rush up, Paimon and Gorou following suit with concerns that something bad happened. 

Gorou finally gets a good look, seeing it was you. He furrows his brows, momentarily forgetting that you were supposed to be along by his side before his eyes catch sight of the electro vision on your hip. 

“Get a room, you two.” The traveler teases, causing you to shoot up. Albedo makes no such effort, casually stretching before making eye contact with the trio who disturbed the rest you two had going on. 

“Good morning, everyone.” Albedo hums out, still holding your hand. “Has something happened? You three look like you had the run of your life.” 

The traveler sighs out, letting Paimon nag Albedo off for being so relaxed after reports of suspicious activity in this area had been reported.

“Oh, electro? Well, that was us.” Albedo states. 

“Why didn’t you wait for me in Liyue, _?” Gorou crosses his arms, beginning to enter superior mode. 

“Oh, Paimon knows!” Paimon interrupts, stopping you from having to explain your emotions in any way. “Paimon saw you leave them behind! Then, Paimon saw Zhongli talking to them!”

Gorou stiffens up at this, clearly unaware of who this Zhongli fellow was. Was this a man that could be a potential threat to him? What character was he? Was he to be trusted when talking to you?

“You didn’t tell me you saw Zhongli, Paimon!” The traveler gasps, causing Paimon to shriek out of surprise. 

“Well, in Paimons defence it looked really important! Plus, we had other guest to entertain!” She explains, hoping to divert attention away from the fact you had a conversation with Zhongli. 

Meanwhile, Albedo looked at Gorou, failing to hold back a smug grin. 

He was not one to read into emotions, but he knew this man was jealous.

[earthxangell]

message from your pet || pick-a-card reading

Take a few deep breaths and let your intution guide you towards a certain pile.  Choose a letter and read the meaning down below. 

Only for fun purposes. Take what resonates and leave everything else behind.

If you want to leave a tip, (it’s not necessary but always appreciated): ko-fi.com/earthxangel

Pile 1

Your connection: There’s definitely a very interesting situation going on, haha! I feel like you and your pet have completely different personalities if I would compare you to each other. You or them can be quite impulsive & reckless while the other is more steady, calm and mature about their presence. Like, one is bringing chaos & mess with them and the other is sitting there and silently judging this kind of behavior. It’s a very funny & wholesome connection, I completely adore you both for that.

Why you were brought together: You’re perfectly balancing each other with such difference between you two. It could’ve been quite hard at first, but you were guided to learn and take care of this pet in order to have this ‘balance’ in your life. Maybe you’re the person who lives alone and needed a friend, maybe you’re this mature and so-serious person that had to have a little fun in their life - whatever the case, your pet has entered your life when you most needed it and is planning to stay with you for a really long time. 

What your pet loves: Your pet absolutely adores having fun. They’re playful and quite lively too, they’re always moving around, running, jumping and etc. It’s like it’s never quiet when they’re near you and I’m also sensing that you like to mutter and tell them that they’re annoying but secretly love them with the whole heart. They know that you do and is telling me that you cannot trick them to think otherwise with this disgruntled face of yours! I’m also channeling message that they love treats with their whole heart so you should definitely give it to them more often.

What your pet fears: But there’s also a fear they’re delusional about your connection with them. They are very afraid to found out that you do not care for them as much as they do. Because they care and love you so so so much and are very thankful to be around you so it would be quite painful for them to find out that you do not feel the same. There’s also a message that they’re afraid that you’ll find a better option (another pet)...for some reason. I’m also sensing a worry that you tend to spend your days daydreaming quite often and not that grounded and present? I’m seeing this vision of someone laying down and lookind into one direction without blinking and your pet sitting near you, clearly worried. They’re saying that it’s totally okay to dream but spend so much time on dreaming can be quite unhealthy so they would like for you to work on that. 

How to help your pet: I feel like you do not like to show your weakness and true emotions. I’m also getting a feeling that you don’t like to deal with it even when you’re alone with yourself. Your pet is asking you to be honest with them and do not fear to go and hug them when you’re feeling sad or lost or weak. They love you no matter what and is hopeful that you can trust them more. They would also love it if you would show them your love and care more often - pet them, play with them, talk with them. Spend as much time as you can because you’re really special to them and they hope that they’re special to you too.

A message from your pet: Sometimes you can shy away from opportunities or spend a lot of time before making any action or decision because you don’t want to get in troubles and it’s hard for you to come out of your comfort zone. Your pet is encouraging you to take a leap of faith more often and believe that everything is going to be fine if you do so. They’re always here to support you when you need it so do not hesitate and be more brave and courageous with life.

Pile 2

Your connection: I feel like you two like to ‘poke’ and challenge each other sometimes? But there’s also a great admiration, trust and love between you two. It’s so comfortable & familiar here so you can try and ‘annoy’ each other from time to time? I honestly don’t know why I’m getting this message but I feel like this is your dynamic with them - lovingly testing each other limits out of boredom or pure interest. It’s very interesting and seems kinda fun as well? haha I’m sorry for rambling here. And I feel like both of you are enjoying this little games even if one of you are showing a completely different reaction. It’s a playful but at the same time soft and wholesome energy. 

Why you were brought together: You two were brought up together to understand and learn patience. You may have met your pet at the time when you had to start some sort of a project and a very long one (for example, before starting a college or working on some creation). Something where you have to learn to be patient about results and methodical about your actions and attitude towards this situation. There’s also a message that you may have met your pet when you’ve lost something and went through a pretty rought time, where you were lost and didn’t know what to do. Whatever the case - they were brought to you to serve as a remedy and make it a little bit easy for you to deal with problems. 

What your pet loves: It’s pretty simple - they love you. Your pet loves when you’re gentle with them and show your love to them. They also like to do the same for you. Your connection seems pretty harmonious and genuine. Both of you can understand each other needs and there’s like this mutual respect and agreement between you two. This is a very special connection right here and it’s undeniable for someone who sees your interaction for the first time. I’m also getting a message that they like to sleep in bed with you or in one room at least. They’re always around and don’t like to leave your side.

What your pet fears: If you tend to hold a grudge because of them or their actions - they’re very sorry. They don’t like when you’re mad or not talking/interaction or ignoring them. It makes them feel lost and upset and they honestly don’t know what to do if you act like that. Be a little bit easy on them, they love you very much. 

How to help your pet: First of all, there’s a strong message that they absolutely ADORE the sound of your voice so they would love if you could talk to them about anything you want from time to time. They also like to sleep while listening to your voice, so you can talk with them even if they’re taking a nap - it makes them calm and feel at ease. What I’m also getting is that your pet wants you to succeed in whatever field you’ve choosen for yourself - they want you to achieve the higher places and know that they see how hard you’re working and putting efforts into something you love. They adore you and want nothing but only the best for you. So the prime help that you can get for your pet - is to move forward and receive the success you deserve. They’re here for you from the very start of your jorney.

A message from your pet: They would like for you to not forget to rest and spend your time while raising vibrations - doing something you love throughout the day. Even if it’s a silly movie about superheroes or playing some game on your computer or your phone. You deserve to have fun and happiness. Never limit yourself when it comes to that. 

Pile 3

Your connection: Before I’ll start I want to say that I was channeling a message from the picture on this pile and you pet may be one of your spirit guides or a familiar. This is a very intuitive pile right here and your connection is much more than it seems. Okay, let’s move on. I feel like you and your pet like to spend time in solitude. What I’m also getting is that you or your pet like to be awake at night. There’s also a message that they can have dark fur color? Black, brown and etc. Something like that. Your connection with your pet is pretty special and has this healing nature that is quite hard to deny. I’m also getting that both of you are very quiet and steady. It’s like sitting in comfortable silence and doing whatever you want and it’s not awkward and bothering you. You’re doing your thing and they’re doing their thing.

Why you were brought together: You and your pet were brought together when you most it needed it. There some things that had to end for you and those endings were quite harsh and radical to say the least. And your pet is showing up as a hope right there - that everything will be all right and things will definitely get better because you’re not alone. You were brought together to move through these ‘hard’ times in comfortable presence of each other. They’re your silent support and stability that is always around and that is not going to disappear and leave you when everything is crumbling down around you. They’re this creature who doesn’t have to say anything for you to understand that they care. They’re just there. Always. And no one can replace them for that.

What your pet loves: The first message that I’m getting here is that they love night time and like to show activity at this time. They enjoy silence (like REALLY) and when no one tries to bother them. They have this quite lazy nature about them as well. They don’t like to move around that much and mostly sleep or just lay down the whole day. They’re also pretty smart and do not like to cause inconvenience. They just sleep, eat and sleep again. Pretty simple and pretty useful as I would say haha

What your pet fears: They don’t like when it’s noisy and crowdy. They enjoy and cherish their comfort zone and it really bothering you pet when someone tries to disturb them. They’re pretty scared of the noises and can get scared when it’s storming outside for example.

How to help your pet: Take a good care of them and be nice - they don’t want anything more than that. Also, they are really enjoy eating so if you could treat them with their favorite food or snacks more often - they would be quite happy. 

A message from your pet: When you feel like the world is falling apart around you, you have to understand that it’s not happening for nothing. There’s no such thing as a personal agenda from the Universe towards you. It’s for the better - so you could see that what you’ve lost is not meant for you from the very beginning. It’s a painful awakening but it’s a necessary one. You can move forward. And you will.

[yamithediaperdork]

Welcome to baby land (Ben 10)

it was a tale as old as time, one that had happened before, would happen this day and despite the fall out from today's events would happen again in the future.

A young boy, fueled by fetish desires and spending hour after hour, day after day bringing himself to the peak as he looked at his chosen fetish, only to pull back last second.

Because the boy knows for what he wants, for what he's going to do.. he needs that desperate pent up denial of release to shut down his common sense. to make him nice and dumb.

His name was Ben Tennyson, and up until a short while ago he had been the hero of the universe and earth. But that was before the watch had been taken, and given to his cousin Gwen who had been picked as being a most reasonable hero. with cutting remarks that he would of never gotten the watch for as long as he had had it's marker realized who was wearing it, and being called to immature.. was it any wonder a bitter and dejected Ben cut himself off from his extended family and drove into the world of porn?

never mind he had beaten off a alien invasion, a 'pants peeing doofus' couldn't be trusted with the watch.

Fine. whatever. if they wanted to look at him as a stupid big baby.. that's what he'd become.

He didn't even like diapers at first when he started, but well.. porn has a way of warping a young boy's mind. Looking at picture after picture, caption after caption and reading the stories Ben for all intents and purposes turned himself in a diaper boy, and a humiliation junkie.

Taking birthday money he even found and brought a package of punishment diapers meant for shaming (though he got it at a discount as the shop was being put out of business) that were super thick, boasted how they could hold any mess.. and also claimed they didn't keep any stink from being contained and guaranteed diaper rash if used.

For a porn addicted loser like Ben, this was pure gold and since he paid for rush devilry he got a enema bag and a small bottle of little crampers, the enema for brats.

Ben knew what he wanted, total, public humiliation but he kept ruining it for himself with self pleasure driving the need out of his mind before he could do it.

finally, Mid October the little porn fueled loser decided enough was enough, he was gonna stop wasting his time and the diapers he'd paid for and set himself up to goon. For a week strait he subjected himself to it, and by the time he was done on Sunday night, Monday morning the little loser set himself up to fail.

waking up early, Ben used the whole bottle of little crampers even though it said to just mix 1/8 with a litlre bag for a enema kit, and groaned and whimpered as he used it, hot water and a dash of castor oil in the big enema bag, only his bulky white and black t-shirt hid the preggo belly he gave himself.

getting back to his bedroom and cramping, the soon to be ruined diaper loser looked at the pack of his punishment diapers and having not worn one till today, toyed with layering at first but they just looked too thick.

Settling on one of the bulky diapers with it sobbing crybaby design, he taped it on then tried the tapes, blushing as the package lived up to it's name.

Once taped on it would take 2 hours for the tapes to come back off, he was truly trapped. again a normal boy of Ben's age would of been panicking, realizing they had gone too fair but Ben just breathed fast, and smiled as he picked his baggiest pair of pants and was delighted that they still only JUST hid the diaper, if he bent over his padded shame would be CLEAR.

Getting down stairs and getting breakfast in himself, he was already seated as his parents came down and made small talk with them even as the delightful cramps started to build. (he'd never admit it, well at least before today's events unfolded but he'd grown to like pain, it made his heart beat fast and smile)

Still he couldn't help but squirm and groan a little bit, and got looks of concern from his parents as he finished his bowl of cereal.

"Benny you feeling alright?" His mother asked, coming over and putting a hand to his forehead. "You can stay home today if your not feeling good."

"N-No I'll be alright. just worried about a math test." Ben said, mixing truth with lies,then added: "Besides, you and dad said you were BOTH gonna be out all day today. who'd stay with me?"

"Heh, He's got a point there.. and good on you Ben. I'm proud your being mature enough not to try and get out of a test." His dad said, totally misunderstanding the happy giggle Ben let out.

His father might of thought it was Ben was so happy he was proud of him, But for diaper bitch Benny, the irony of the comment almost made him ruin the fun early.

If Ben's plan had one flaw (well one he'd admit to) it was the fact that he hadn't taken into account how much slower he'd be having to waddle his massive diaper butt to school with the added fun of having to stop 3 times to force himself not to spoil the fun early.

He'd even left a little sooner then normal, his parents had been quick with their breakfast and he 'accidentally' left his house key on the desk in his room and after making sure the front door was locked, went out the back door as you could lock it from the inside while the door was open.

'No getting out of this by running home!' Ben gleefully thought.

He barley made it into homeroom before the bell rang, though since he was known to be tardy from time to time it didn't raise too much attention, get getting a snide comment from his homeroom teacher about gracing them with his presence.

Even better, home was also his math class and that was going to be first period (which was a good thing for the ever so full little perv as his 'chocolate mud baby' wasn't going to stay in him much longer.)

Mr. Fillawick wasted little time in handing out the tests and after a standard warning that he'd tolerate NO cheating and there was going to be NO bathroom breaks, he offered anyone who had to go a chance to use the potty now.

'OK..this is it..your last chance.. you could just say you need to go, and sneak out the school.fill your diapers in the woods and get out of them once the tapes give up.' Ben thought to himself, biting his lip.

it wouldn't be destroying himself in class and getting him labeled stinky baby for the rest of the year, but it would land him in hot water with the school and his parents and he'd run the risk of being seen outside right?

He almost started to raise his hand when his inner pervert took over and he just turned it into brushing his hand though his hair.

"Alright, don't say I didn't warn you. you'll have a hour to do the test. good luck." Mr. Fillawick said and shrugged, going back to his desk and sitting down, doing whatever it was teachers did.

Five minutes later and Ben was in a mixture of heaven and hell. he was twitching and sweating a little bit, his pencil twitching in his hand even as he started to leak in little bursts against the front of his diapie.

the cramps were at the point of no return and even if Ben said fuck it and got up to run, he wouldn't of made it more then five steps.

all he'd managed to do so far was write his name on the test and the date, then the cramps had gone over board.

'Ok..Ok.. this was a mistake.. I've leaked enough boy milk to see that.. maybe.. maybe I can still just.. get out..of..' Ben thought, going white knuckled as he gripped the side of his desk with his left hand as a powerful cramp hit, a low rumbling fart coming out his backside though the sound was mostly muted.

the smell however was not as the diapers lived up to their claims and Kids around Ben wrinkled their noses and looked around looking for the source of the smell and eyes zeroing in on his as he was blushing.

"Mr. Fillawick? I think Ben needs to go to the bathroom." A redhead boy behind him said. "Or at Least can he be moved to the back of the classroom.

"Mr. Tennyson had his chance for that Mr. Randal. and I prefer he stay where I can keep a eye on him." Came the teachers amused answer.

even as the class giggled and laughed, two more rotten poots escaped and there was open cries of disgust.

"Gah, at least open a window!"

"What did you have to eat this morning, a skunk!?"

Ben whimpered and squirmed, he had the whole class basically looking at him now and the teasing and taunts had brought his pervert side back up to full power.

'It's now or never.' Ben thought, though he also knew wasn't really a option. it was more like Now or never if he wanted a semblance of control over the act.

it helped he was trembling lots now but Mr. Fillawick who'd never cared for Ben much since he was a rowdy student only watched with sadistic glee.

Ben's Pencil 'accidentally' shook out of his hand and rolled off the desk and onto the floor, and Ben made a show of just reaching into his desk to find anther one.

"Mr. Tennyson, whatever your habits in your own room may be, I run a clean Classroom." the smirking teacher said. "Bend down and point up that pencil."

"Uh..but..If I-" Ben started, putting the perfect crybaby whine in his voice.

"You'll what? fart? like you haven't been doing that already?" the teacher shot back.

Putting on a show of being embarrassed and scared (he was embarrassed but his heart was beating fast) Ben leaned over the right side of his desk and there was a gasp from the students behind him as one thing he hadn't planned on happened.

"BEN'S WEARING A DIAPER!" Hooted Crash.

"A BABY DIAPER!" a blond girl added.

"More like a BIG baby diaper!" Randal noted with amusement.

Somehow his pants must of lowered enough to flash off his embarrassing diaper! Oh god! for all of 2.4 seconds trued to stop what was about to happen but the act of leaning over had been the final trigger.

as the enema finally worked it's magic and the back of his diaper started to swell up Ben could only hear the roar of his mess and though tear filled eyes almost could swear he could see image of him in just diapers and a bib, tapping a shovel on a grave that had been filled in. the tombstone read:

RIP Ben's self respect.

as the force of the mess made Ben fall forward, landing face down and ass up, his pants failing down more so everyone could watch his diapers load up in the back (thankfully they wouldn't be able to tell what he was doing in the front!) The image of baby Ben came over and looked down with a grin at the real one.

"Welcome to baby land~ no going back now."

As Ben's life was ruined, and he was designed to never be able to get that 'excited' again unless he was crapping brains out(heck, he was going to be pulled from school and his parents would begin his new big baby life, treating him like the baby they thought he wanted to be, not knowing he was just a humiliation junkie) Charmcaster smirked in her jail cell.

Sure having to watch all the events unfold from sitting into of a toilet wasn't the way she'd hope to see the spell play out, not to mention it had been that bitch Gwen she had targeting, but this worked out in the end.

Gwen would suffer being the cousin of the big stinky baby and would likely end up having to change him and it wouldn't be too long now before her uncle broke her out. wincing as Ben started to baby babble though she did have one moment's regret.

'I mean, I'm evil and wanna take over the world but was making him a diaper perv too far?' She wondered, then smiled. 'Naaaah!'

The end

[lessonsfrommadamexmas]

Spite and Temptation

Summary: Brigadier General Armstrong needs competent snipers for Fort Briggs and her eyes are set on a certain hawk. While Lieutenant Colonel Mustang knows she doesn’t stand a chance, the dispute seems too entertaining to pass. Link to AO3 (3-chapter fic).

@meridianheroine here it is! Thank you so much for your endless patience. 

Chapter 2

The blonde woman’s long hair locks danced with her every hurried step under the burning sunlight. She only had a few minutes before noon and hoped to find the Hawk’s Eye at the shooting range.

The place was quiet due to it being lunch time, Olivier assumed. The young soldier at the front desk looked busier than his surroundings seemed to demand. He informed her that Hawkeye’s time was up, thus offering to take her to the shooting booth.

Olivier saw an unfazed girl whose sharp senses were traduced in her posture as she aimed and fired. Like child’s play.

— Brigadier General Olivier Armstrong — the man announced.

Hawkeye left her rifle down and stood in attention.

— Sir!

— Ease. So you’re the famous Hawk’s Eye. It is nice to meet you.

Compared to the Lieut. Colonel, her demeanor was on the opposite side of the spectrum. Hawkeye, too, had predominantly immature features, but her wide eyes and round jawline were masked by the seriousness and professionalism that reminded Oliver of herself. So far, she was meeting all expectations.

— Honored to meet you, sir. I’ve seen Major Armstrong speak very dearly of you. Coming to shoot?

— Too bad I can’t say the same about that deserter. I’ve come to speak to you, actually. I know it’s lunch time, so I’ll be brief.

— To me?

The general indicated the way out and both of them started walking.

— Briggs is recruiting and you are the perfect candidate for our sniping team. It has been decided in this morning’s meeting that your abilities are better suited for the Northern border, and I was lucky enough to have you around, so I thought I might come personally to deliver the news.

— That’s, again, an honor, sir — she replied, and although showing mild confusion, she didn’t appear to be easily impressed.

— Now, I heard you’re already aiming at a different position.

— That is true. I plan to stay here in the East.

— Under Lieutenant Colonel Mustang, isn’t it?

Judging by the sniper’s surprised look, the general concluded she might have sounded like some creepy stalker.

— We’ve talked just a while ago — she added. — He told me I might find you here, in fact. I confess I was left curious about what led to this choice. I can see right away how different the two of you are.

— I believe we do have things in common, sir. Apparently, we’ve both made a name for ourselves during the war.

— You, however, isn’t the kind to support yourself on a title, am I correct?

— I would say my deeds in Ishval are exactly what I want to be remembered for. Yet, I hope my future contributions to Amestris can surpass my performance in the War of Extermination in some way.

Hawkeye’s fleumatic humor wasn’t easy to read, despite the fact that she was trying to hide a lot less than Mustang. She was simply being herself and there was some kind of passion, or cause, behind her impassive looks which Olivier couldn’t pinpoint.

— In that case, you could stay in the shadow of an alchemist, or you could step up to a leadership role.

— That’s another thing we have in common, sir. I’m the daughter of Berthold Hawkeye. An alchemist from the region known for discovering and developing the powers of Flame Alchemy.

Armstrong couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow at that intriguing statement. They had a history, then.

— The Lieut. Colonel may be laid-back, but he does his job — the sniper continued. — He mastered Flame Alchemy on his own after my father passed. A power like the one he carries must be protected, especially when it offers little defense. I am certain I’ll be serving my country by serving under the Flame Alchemist, sir. And I am certain First Sergeant Dorovan can provide you other outstanding names for Briggs.

— Very well. This brief conversation only further proved your potential. Tell me you will at least give it a thought. And perhaps seek advice from someone experienced like the First Sergeant, even though you’re a rank higher than her now.

— I wouldn’t refuse your offer so quickly. I appreciate it.

Courtesy. That was the moment Olivier realized why Mustang had been so smug.

.

.

Olivier returned to the building reflecting about what else she could do before her departure to Briggs the next day. It wasn’t as if she had to add the Hawk’s Eye to the team. Undoubtedly, General Solon was an ambitious man who strived for the best he could have, and she was no different. The Armstrong family was determined, hardworking and always ready to reach their goals. Those were values passed down their line from generations! Thus, if her mission was to gather the most competent soldiers to Briggs, she would do her part.

— Brigadier General, sir. How did it go?

Not again.

— What a tiny place the Eastern headquarters is, that we keep crossing paths... — she mentioned, allowing suspicion to fill her voice, but didn’t wait for a reply. — I managed to talk to her. Thanks.

— That’s great, sir — he replied, but his eyes were shining to gather further information.

— Who wouldn’t want a sharp soldier working for them, isn’t that right, Lieut. Colonel? Sometimes a good team takes us further than our own individual efforts.

— Our efforts start with good choices, indeed, sir.

— However, you should be able to let go of an officer more needed in a different position.

— General Armstrong, sir. I would never stay in Hawkeye’s way. Especially when there are several aspiring soldiers seeking to work under the Flame Alchemist. However, not every man is eager to climb the ladder like you and I. I’m afraid all I can do is advise her to consider if I see her around.

If he was shaking behind that confidence, she wouldn’t know, but Olivier was more aware of their strong bond by the second. From childhood friends to war comrades wasn’t something to underestimate.

— I wouldn’t ask nothing else. Till next time, Mustang.

— Sir. Have a safe trip back.

As she continued to walk by the endless hallways of the headquarters, the future ruler of Briggs settled for playing with the cards she had. She wouldn’t say Riza Hawkeye was devoid of ambition, in fact, the officer knew exactly what she wanted and, although reserved, her loyalty to her father and admiration for the Flame Alchemist showed. Olivier could hardly fight that, but she could take advantage of it, in order to at least deliver the hawk to Solon.

Well, it wouldn’t hurt to spend the rest of her free time trying to coincidently stumble across her target.

.

.

That might have been a mistake. She would have preferred to have lunch on a quieter time, instead, decided to try her luck and search for Hawkeye there. In the crowded cafeteria. Olivier had been the smallest of the family for the majority of her life, but never the most subtle one. That short trip was revealing itself more demanding than she expected and the meeting had been the easiest part so far.

She stretched her neck and started to look around discreetly for a blonde soldier with short hair and prominent bang while waiting in line. The two men beside her seemed to notice, but as long as she wasn’t spotted first by the Warrant Officer, she didn’t care. The general turned her attention to all the food on her track. It was time to move to a table and no sign of Hawkeye around.

She took a few steps towards the wall, behind a group of soldiers chatting with their empty tracks in hand, and continued her search. Soon, she spotted a table on the corner where the Warrant Officer ate by herself. All she had to do was walk a straight line and…

— Oh, Warrant Officer. I see you’re almost done, can I sit here?

The woman returned her fork and knife to the plate and replied:

— Sir, of course — Couldn’t find who you were looking for?

Awkward.

— Yeah, you saw me? — she asked casually while taking a sit across from her and placing her track on the table. — At least this table is free in case he still shows up. And you? Giving my proposal any thought?

— I said I would, sir. However, please, don’t keep your hopes up.

Despite all respect Olivier had gathered for Hawkeye, the woman’s stillness was starting to get to her nerves. She needed to shake her up and see what was in there.

— Hawkeye, I believe you aren’t seeing this opportunity for what it is.

— What do you mean, sir?

— Perhaps you see it purely in terms of getting a position, but there’s a lot more you can gain from trying. The North is out of your comfort zone. Nothing like boot camp or the desert night cold, just another kind of challenge. It is for the few and that’s why we go through a period of adaptation, but I don’t think that scares you.

— Some training process?

Finally, there was a sparkle of curiosity in her eyes.

— It could be seen that way. Practical tests to evaluate who’s physically ready for Briggs. I don’t simply bring people to the fort, Hawkeye. I prepare them so that, wherever they go in the future, they’re better. Grab this chance — the general said gazing at her with purpose — and only then decide if you’ll wave it off.

Olivier Armstrong was now betting on the extent of Riza Hawkeye’s loyalty.

[read chapter 3 on AO3]

[for-ests]

Lost In Your Light: Peter Parker x Reader (Part 6)

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 

[ my masterlist ] word count: 4, 319

CHAPTER 06: TOUCH 

The memories of last night lingered in Y/N's mind as she shuffled through the school hallway. 

It seemed that whenever she saw Spider-Man, it took days to get him out of her brain. And now, she knew what he really looked like. His boyish, yet captivating face flashed in images whenever she closed her eyes. It was a face she couldn't seem to forget. 

Y/N sighed hopelessly, closing her locker and slumping against it. She couldn't even focus on the workload ahead. All she wanted to do was be with him. 

Peter was his name. So common, yet so meaningful and charming to her. If every man that was named Peter was as striking and heroic as him, there would be no competition. He was so selfless and gentle.  

Shaking her head, Y/N blushed. She knew it wasn’t healthy to be fantasizing over Peter like this… Something about him was just so comforting. 

The girl glanced at her phone. 7:25am, there was still five minutes until class officially started. How was she going to get through a whole day of school?

Just when her thoughts were going to drift away to her heroic Spider-Man, a voice calling her name cut through the white noise. 

She lifted her head to find Kenzie, the girl she met in the bathroom. Y/N had almost forgotten about the injured girl she had been drawn to almost a week ago. 

"Y/N it is, right?" She asked nervously, stopping at her side and avoiding the foot traffic. 

"That's me." Y/N smiled, though she could tell something was wrong.

"Can we talk?" Her eyes darted back and forth with caution. Y/N's stomach churned. 

"Of course." 

The two of them headed inside the nearest bathroom. Y/N looked around and made sure nobody was occupying a stall before turning to Kenzie.

Kenzie swallowed hard. Her dark skin seemed a little paler than the day they met. 

"I really don't know how to say this, Y/N." She paused. "But I have Leukemia." 

Y/N snapped her head over, expression itched with disbelief. "Please tell me you're kidding." She rushed the words out. There was no way, there was no fucking way. 

"I'm not." Kenzie's lip quivered. The pure shock of it all seemed to slap her in the face. Each time she muttered her fatal disease, she felt a little more hopeless. 

But, the curly haired girl refused to cry in school. "I went to the doctor and they confirmed it. You were right. And because you warned me of the signs, they were able to catch it at an early stage. I have a good chance of surviving this." 

Y/N could see the conflict in her eyes. This girl was scared, she was hurt. She had just been diagnosed with a terminal illness that had a terrifying mortality rate. 

Kenzie stood in front of Y/N. She was begging for help, begging for answers. Cancer was no laughing matter. It was deadly—and it was too strong. It rendered Y/N powerless. 

 "O-Oh my god, Kenzie. I'm so, so sorry." Y/N's heart broke for the girl she barely knew. "I mean—I'm glad I could help. But I wish I was wrong." Her eyes closed in anguish. "I wish I was wrong, more than anything." 

"You don't need to be sorry. If anything, I should be grateful. Hell, I barely know you and you helped me in more ways than I could have imagined." Kenzie's voice was soft. 

Y/N's lips upturned, halfway between a smile, and halfway between a frown.  She didn't know what else to say. She was confused. It seemed her powers were stronger than she had anticipated, yet not strong enough in that way she desperately wanted them to be. If the girl was strong enough to detect undetectable illnesses, could she heal them as well?

There was a long stretch of silence as Y/N stared at herself in the mirror, her senses tingling. Being around Kenzie was like being around an open fuse. 

Y/N could possibly help her. All signs were leading to it, but she couldn't expose her secret. The conflicted girl wasn't ready for the world to know about her abilities. 

Y/N lifted her head and through the mirror's reflection, her eyes drifted back to Kenzie. There were distinct bags forming around her eyes. She needed help.

Kenzie breathed in, face twisting with uncertainty. Y/N was prepared to answer questions, but not the one that came out of her mouth. "How did you know? Please don't give me a bullshit answer." 

Y/N was taken back by her sudden accusation. "I-I don't know what you mean." 

"There's something off about you. Not in a bad way, you're just different. You know more than you're letting on." Kenzie said thoughtful, her words not intending to be an insult.

"Kenzie..." Y/N paused, eyes drifting to the door. She didn't know what to say, she couldn't even think. Her powers had to remain a secret. 

"You have some sort of ability, right?" She seemed to be speaking whatever came to mind. 

Y/N's expression wavered slightly. "No. I don't, it was just a lucky guess. Like I told you, my father is a doctor." 

"You didn't guess. You knew, before anyone else did." 

The girl crossed her arms, desperate to deflect anymore questions that she knew Kenzie wanted to ask. Who wouldn’t? Y/N knew she would if she was in Kenzie’s positions. "Even so, I couldn't tell you." 

Please let it go. Please, for your sake and for mine. How could Y/N convey such a thing without coming outright to say it? 

Kenzie chewed on her lip. "I was assuming." 

"I'm sorry. I don't even know myself." 

"It's okay. But you realize that being different... with whatever you have, isn't that far fetched. With everything that's going on..." 

Y/N managed to smile. "Like the aliens?" 

"Yeah. Like the aliens." 

The two girls stood side by side in the bathroom. The silence wasn't awkward, it was comfortable. There was mutual respect between them, even if Y/N couldn't tell her the truth. 

Y/N opened her mouth to say something, but her words were cut short by the bell. 

"I guess I'll see you around then." Kenzie waved, slinging her backpack on her shoulder. 

"Let me know if I can help with anything." Y/N said, following her out of the bathroom. 

"No need. You've done all that you can do—"

I don't know about that. Y/N thought. 

"—Whatever you can do, I would advise helping others like me. We need more good people like you in this world. People who are willing to help others just out of the goodness of their own heart." 

Y/N was quiet as she watched Kenzie leave her side, disappearing into the crowd before she could even say goodbye.

✭✦✭✦

Y/N walked down the sidewalk with her hands in her pockets. 

The school day had ended, and truthfully, it had been a blur. The girl was still anxious from her friend's revelation. Y/N's prediction had been right. She was able to sense an illness with just one touch. She was able to feel it. 

It scared her. It scared her so much that all she could think about was a way to get rid of it. 

And every time she did, her hands ached with pain. Y/N didn't even want to look at them. 

That was why they were shoved deep in her pockets. 

She kept her gaze forward, refusing to look at anyone she passed. Y/N was anxious to get home, anxious to be alone and isolated so she could come up with some sort of plan. 

The girl pulled out her phone, side stepping a pile of melting snow. She was a few blocks away, and needed to know if her father was going to be home. 

Y/N: > Dad, are you at our humble abode? 

Papa: > Yes, daughter of mine. I will be until dark. Can't wait to see you. 

His simple and sweet text caused a smile to spread across her face. Perhaps she could wait a few hours to stress over her powers. Perhaps she needed to spend some time with her father. 

Decompressing sounded like the right thing to do. 

Y/N hurried home as fast as she could, which was surprisingly under 10 minutes. 

"Dad, I'm home!" She shouted and slammed the front door shut. Her backpack and shoes were laid at the foot of the staircase. 

"Afternoon, honey." He called from the living room. She rounded the corner and found him in the same spot and same chair, reading the newspaper and drinking a cup of coffee. Some things never needed to change. 

"How was school?" He asked almost immediately, not taking his eyes off the current article he was invested in. 

"Fine." Y/N said, even though it wasn't. Fine was what people said for courtesy purposes. 

He nodded, excepting she would give him a one word answer. There was a brief moment of silence as Y/N filled up a glass of water to drink. 

She joined her father's side. He put the newspaper down to give her his full attention. That was one thing she appreciated about him. He may have been gone most of the time, but when she needed him, he was there. 

His eyebrows furrowed as he studied her intently, "You look stressed kiddo, did anything happen?" Her father asked, evidently concerned. Thomas L/N knew his daughter well enough to realize when she was upset. 

Y/N's gaze faltered. She wished more than anything that she could tell him. He deserved to know. He was her father, the one person in the world that loved her. 

But not yet. So she made up an excuse, a list that seemed to keep growing and growing. 

"Just some tests, dad. The usual, nothing for you to worry about." 

"Since you have those stellar grades." He chuckled, seeming to buy it. Her lie wasn't so far-fetched since she was a student. "There's no reason you should be so stressed, you'll do great." 

"I guess so. It's just..." Y/N trailed off, trying to muster up an excuse to have him start talking about her mother. Her mother might be the key to discovering her abilities. Even if it was not, it was a good place to start. 

But, the thought of her mother broke her heart. It had been years since Y/N had felt her touch. 

"Can you talk about Mom?" She blurted. 

The mention of her stiffened his posture. "Is that why you're upset?"

"I'm starting to forget her, dad." Her first utterance was the truth. She couldn't remember what her mother's smile looked like, or what her hug felt like. Y/N knew her features were similar to the woman who gave birth to her, but even so, she wanted to know which ones. Just gazing at their pictures stirred up regret and sadness. 

"A-And I have an English project where we need to compare our parents to the parents in the book."

"Oh." His forehead wrinkled with confusion. Y/N felt culpable, yet again. 

"What do you want to know?" He took a sip of his coffee. 

"I want to know about her family. Why don't we talk to them anymore? Where are they?"

"And you're trying to tell me this is part of your English project?" He could see right through her lies. Yet he didn’t seem annoyed or irritated, instead amusement wrinkled the corners of his eyes. 

Y/N faltered, looking sheepish. "Y-Yes?" She grinned. 

"You can ask me anything about your mother Y/N, it makes sense you'd be curious about her. If you're afraid of hurting me, it's okay. I’ve had a lot of time to cope with it.” 

She smiled. 

"Shoot." He encouraged. "I'll answer to the best of my ability." 

To corroborate her previous statement, Y/N pulled out her phone to pretend she was actually taking down notes for her school project. "I want to brush up on the basics. What was her favorite meal to make?" 

"Frikadeller." He chuckled at the memory. "Those meatballs you used to hork down. I'm surprised you even tasted them." 

"They were good." Y/N grinned. "Why was it her favorite?" 

"Because it was yours." 

Y/N felt tears stinging her eyes. They were only talking about happy memories, but any memory of her mother was followed by the fact that she would never see her again. 

"Do we still have the recipe?" Her throat was tight. 

"Of course. I still have everything." 

The girl nodded, wondering it was even possible to learn to cook as well as her mother had. Even if she couldn't, she needed to carry on something. Perhaps learning about her was a way of moving on, even if it hurt. 

Y/N decided to change the subject.

"What about grandma... What was her name?" She wracked her brain for some sort of memory. "I feel like we haven't seen any of mom's side of the family." 

"Her name is Ragnild. She lives in Denmark, that's why we never see her." 

"Oh..."

"I have her number. I can give it to you if you're interested. I just didn't think you were." 

"I guess I'm just feeling nostalgic. I wanna know where my roots are." 

"Well" Mr. L/N chuckled. "You know where half of you is from." 

"I know, I know." She smiled. "It was just odd, only hearing about your family. Was mom not close with hers?" 

"Not really." He admitted. "Your grandmother is kind of crazy." 

Y/N cocked an eyebrow in surprise. "How so?" She asked, even though she had a feeling she already knew the answer to it. Probably something to do with magical powers, and glowing lights. 

"Why don't you call her for yourself?"

She stared at her father. "Would that even be a good idea?"

"I think so." He shrugged his shoulders. Y/N could tell he was trying very hard to hold his laughter in. 

"Seriously dad, you have to tell me." 

"She's very superstitious. That's all I'm gonna say." His tone was firm. "I didn't know her very well." 

"What about other family members? Where are they?" 

"Scattered around the earth. Her family seems to live everywhere, that's why you never see them. They move so often I couldn't keep track, so I stopped trying." Her father grew slightly annoyed. Not at her, but at the mention of a family that wouldn't settle down. "The last time I saw any of them was at the funeral. Besides that, I've heard nothing. They rarely update Facebook. It's strange." 

Judging by the look on his face, he did not seem to find it that strange. 

Y/N knew better than that. She knew that deep down, he did still care. When her mother passed, all that was left was a hole. And the absence of her extended family must have been tough to deal with. Because there was such a disparity, it took that much longer to heal. It had been five years and it was still heartbreaking to mention her name. 

Especially since Y/N was around, as a constant reminder of the woman he used to love. She looked exactly like her. 

"But if I'm being honest, I think you should call your grandmother. She would love it." 

"I might just do that." Y/N cleared her thoughts, moving on to the next topic now that she had the connection she needed. She could only do so much crying over her dead mother. 

The father and daughter talked well into the night until Y/N had to feign tiredness. With a goodnight kiss on the cheek, she left his side and wished him a serene shift; which they both knew was a rare occasion. 

Y/N slumped down on her bed and cuddled the sheets. Sleep was tempting, but her mind was racing. She hadn't patrolled in a few days, and it was about time. The animals needed her. Perhaps being in the field may reveal some secrets she needed answered. 

Her phone buzzed with a text.

The teenager rolled over in her bed and grabbed it. Her father had texted her. 

Papa: > Call her tomorrow. 

With a contact attachment. Ragnild Lykke. 

Y/N did not know what to feel. She could be brave, and hopefully get some insight from a superstitious old woman; or she could continue to search aimlessly for someone to help. Someone who didn't know her family history. 

Frustrated, she set her phone aside and waited quietly for her father to leave. That could wait for tomorrow. Right now she had to worry about the streets... and about Spider-Man. 

She had to tell him what happened. But how could she even contact him?

Y/N’s eyes widened. She had his number now, she could reach him whenever she needed. 

Y/N blushed, but only slightly. How could she forget? Smirking, she pulled up his contact name, almost laughing out loud when she saw the name he had entered. Web-Head. 

The girl hesitated for a moment, with her finger hovering over the send button. 

Y/N: > Peter, meet me by the water at midnight. It's urgent. 

He replied almost immediately. 

Web-Head: > Roger that.

✭✦✭✦✭

There was no wind tonight, and Y/N was grateful for the tranquility. She could wear her hair down without it blowing in her face. 

Her usual spot on the cliff's edge felt a little more comforting. It was the same as it had always been. She came here, planned out her night, then followed through with it. Hopefully she could save some lives tonight. 

Her eyes unfocused as she stared out on the water. The city lights reflected off the peaceful water, the waves were more calming at this hour, and the water was lower because of the moon. 

"Hey, Y/N." Her name sounded so right on his lips. She turned with a smile to find Peter, his mask off. 

"Thanks for coming." She greeted. "Sit." 

He nodded, joining her side and hanging his legs off the edge. He began to study the ocean just as intently as her. 

Peter could tell something was on her mind. She was agitated and timid. Yet regardless of the contrast from her usual demeanor, his senses prickled by being so close to her. 

"Tell me." He whispered, not having to worry about his voice getting lost in the wind.He could hear every single occurrence now that the wind was gone. It was strange. 

"My powers are getting stronger." Y/N confessed, keeping her gaze outstretched to the dark sea. 

Peter did not say anything for there wasn't a need. Being there with her felt normal, it felt right. It was comfortable, the silence between them. 

He waited for her to speak. He knew how much courage it took to admit such a discovery. 

"I can detect diseases now. I can feel when someone has... cancer." 

"Are you serious?" His eyes widened slightly. 

Y/N nodded. "My hands, they ache when I get close to someone. There was this girl at school, I barely knew her. But my hands, they led me into the bathroom where she was. They didn't stop glowing until I was in talking distance of her. She told me her symptoms, and a voice in the back of my mind was screaming she had Leukemia, so I told her to check with her doctor." She paused, ashamed that she was rambling. It probably made no sense to Peter, but she had to tell someone.

"I forgot about that incident, until today. She found me, and she told me I was right. She has stage one Leukemia." Lelia felt a tear slip down her cheek. She felt guilty. 

"Why are you crying?" He asked, with the most gentle voice she had ever heard. "It's not your fault." 

"Yes, it is. If only I'd taken my powers seriously, I could have saved others. I just could never understand what I was feeling, and why I was drawn to certain people." 

"You have a gift, Y/N. You shouldn't feel obliged to help everyone. You've been going through this alone, it's not your fault." 

Y/N wiped away her tears and laughed lightly. She hadn't expected to start crying in front of him. It was embarrassing. 

"I... You're right." The girl confessed. 

"I struggle with it too." His voice wavered. "It hurts." 

Y/N turned to him. Peter's jaw was clenched, eyebrows furrowed in thought. He meant every word he said. 

"T-Thanks Peter. It feels really nice to talk to you." 

He met her gaze, his eyes conveying to her that he felt it too. 

The intensity of his stare caused her to avert her gaze. Y/N began to nervously play with her coat sleeves, blinking away the last of her tears. 

Peter watched for a moment. He studied the way she bit her lip softly when she debated what to say. Y/N was quite reserved, and seemed to put great thought into the words she shared. So when she stuttered like he used to, he could immediately tell it was serious. 

"A-Anyways. I was going to go patrolling tonight. Or whatever you want to call it." She chuckled at herself. "I'd like it if you came with me." 

Peter smiled. "You mean you want me to come dog-napping with you?" 

"It's not called dog-napping when they are being abused. Plus it's not just dogs." Her eyes rolled slightly, yet a faint smirk was detectable. 

"Normally, I would be down for it. But not tonight." 

"Why?" 

Peter looked reluctant. "I got reports from Mr. Stark. The Thorns are becoming a big problem, Y/N. He's only paying attention to them now because they've gotten their hands on some pretty hefty equipment." 

"Such as?" 

"I'm not exactly sure, weapons made from alien debris left over from the invasion." He said. 

"Well I bet you can catch them." She leaned back on her arms, swinging her feet back and forth. She was thankful for the secluded spot along the platform. Though it was dangerous and considered trespassing, it remained her place to come think. And now, she had finally revealed it to another. It had an incredible view of the bay, the lights from downtown glimmering against the water’s surface. 

But now, finally becoming aware of the danger that had infested the city, the silence that filled the dimly lit streets was starting to become eerie. 

Peter noticed it too. 

"If you're going to bust them tonight, can I come with you?" She questioned to regain his attention. 

"Uh," He shifted nervously, crossing his legs. "I don't think that's a good idea." 

"Why not?" Her eyes narrowed. She wasn't angry, though her face most likely showed that. 

"Cause... um." He looked away. 

Seeing him so flustered was kind of refreshing. "You can be honest with me." Y/N urged. 

"I-I don't want you to get hurt." He said without looking at her. 

"I have powers, Peter." She said matter of factly. "Remember?" 

His gaze was still focused on the abyss in front of them. The ocean was the best distraction. "But not fighting powers, if you know what I mean." He tried to say as nicely as possible. 

"I do." She pondered, brushing her hair behind her shoulders. "But I'm still coming." 

He snapped towards her. "I thought I just convinced you not to!" 

Her laugh was lighthearted. "I already made up my mind, web-head." 

"Ooohh." He tilted his head back in laughter. "I see how it is." 

Y/N pushed herself up from the ground. It was time to move on and stop moping. It was time to do something important. 

Peter stood up as well. He held his mask by his side, about to put it on—until Y/N snatched it from his grip. 

"Hey!" He whisper-yelled, a little too lazy to try and get it back when she moved away. Peter was enjoying her teasing nature. It was normal, and reminded him of his best friend Ned. 

Y/N held the mask behind her back, flashing him a cheeky grin. 

"I told you I prefer you with the mask off." She stopped jogging around him. "At leash until the fight starts." 

He closed the gap between them. The cold air ceased as he towered over her. "Who says there's going to be a fight?" 

Peter reached for his mask, but grabbed her hand instead. He felt her delicate skin instead of the silky material he'd become so accustomed to. His heartbeat quickened at the contact. The feeling of her gentle touch was one he wanted to keep close,  one that he was determined to protect. 

Peter reached for her other hand. Y/N gladly obliged, breathless. 

He was being so sweet, the girl could not help but freeze. 

Am I crazy for wanting more? She pondered. 

Peter relished in the moment for as long as he could. The sight of her reddening cheeks gave him a boost of confidence. 

Y/N was gorgeous, as always. How could he say no to her? 

"You can come with, but you're staying out of the fight. I won't let you get hurt." Peter held her hands in his. They were so gentle, so soft. How could these hands hold such an unexplainable power? 

Y/N closed her eyes in peace. His touch, his company, was too good to be true. There was no way he felt the same. 

Regardless, Y/N gathered the courage to stand on her tip-toes, and whisper in his ear—

"That better be a promise." Before pressing her lips gently on his cheek.

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Tag List! (lmk if you want to be taken off or added) 

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[spectralstars]

FAQ/Stuff to Know

This post will contain answers to questions I get often or expect to get often, and define some of the terms I use. It will be updated over time.

Disclaimer: The information I post to this blog is UPG, based on my own experiences. If I state something as fact on this blog regarding magic, that is because I treat it as fact within my practice, but I do not claim it as objective truth.

Magic

What is magic?

1) The art of utilizing all components of the Soul/being to effect change. 2) A sense of simultaneous power and wonder.

What kinds of magic do you do?

I do a lot of energy work: feeling and affecting my own energy, and reaching out to the energy of other people/places/things to do the same. When a need arises, or when I’m just feeling that magical itch, I create a working for that situation, or draw on a working I’ve created before. These workings can involves making and enchanting talismans, sigils, or chants; music or dance magic; full-blown rituals; just more focused energy work; etc. Divination, meditation, and shadow work are all also important facets of my practice.

How long have you been practicing?

My practice first started to resemble what it is today about 2 or 3 years ago.

Do you do witchcraft/chaos magic/[insert established term here]?

No. I take inspiration and information from many established open paths, but my practice is my own.

Energy Work

What is energy? What are energetic signatures?

Energy is a non-physical, qualityless substance. Just as physical reality is made up of physical matter (I’m ignoring dark matter here because that’s outside of my wheelhouse), parallel to it at all points exists an energetic reality. Unless I specify with terms like “physical/kinetic/potential energy,” assume that I’m speaking about non-physical energy and not energy in the physics sense. These two usages of the word “energy” are not interchangeable.

(Granted, the physical/non-physical distinction can be a bit reductive. Physical, mental, emotional, energetic, whatever other distinctions you make, etc, these things can absolutely effect each other, and debatably aren’t all that separate to begin with. That’s an integral part of the whole mechanism for magic.)

Energetic signatures are the sums of the different qualities that a given quantity of energy can have. Essentially, the vibe. This can include color, sound, emotion, texture, force, temperature, smell and taste, movement, etc. The details of a signature can vary from person to person in a “my red is your green” way—or more accurately “this feeling makes me think red, and makes you think green.”

Energetic signatures don’t behave physically the way energy often does, because they’re purely information. If I take energy from something, it now lacks that energy, but if I take its energetic signature, nothing has changed in that original something.

And yes, confusingly enough, energy can have an “energetic” or “sluggish” signature. There’s a difference between having lots of energy (again, in the magical sense) and having “high energy” (which would mean having lots of energy in the mundane sense).

What is the Fundamental?

The Fundamental is a layer of reality comprised of energy. In the Fundamental, physical distance is more fluid and all things are connected in some capacity. By moving one’s center of awareness, one can perceive and interact with the Fundamental.

What is embodiment/emulation?

Embodiment is one of my go-to energetic practices, one that I utilize and will probably mention often enough to warrant its own entry here. Embodiment means adapting an energetic signature other than my baseline, in such a way that it changes not only my energetic state, but my emotional, mental, and physical posture as a result. In some ways, it’s an “internalized glamour”; I’m affecting how others perceive by not only by energetic means, but by acting differently myself. I use this for everything from performing in front of audiences to calling in certain forces and archetypes to quick pick-me-ups throughout the day.

How do you read energy?

Honestly, it’s as simple as asking what the energy is like and taking what comes to you. Once you’re used to the process, you don’t have to ask anything consciously, you just kinda focus and observe. Getting information is the easy part; the harder part is getting accurate information and interpreting it well. That takes some familiarity with energy and your own intuition, and lots of practice.

Workings

What is a working?

I call spells workings out of a personal preference. If it’s magic and I set aside time for it, it’s a working.

How do you create a working?

I either start with the issue I’m doing the working for, and start thinking of ways I could achieve that symbolically, or I start with that itch to do a certain kind of magic, and start thinking of places in my life where I could apply it. Either way, the process involves a lot of looking around my place for things I could use (if I want to use objects in the first place), thinking about how to tie all those things and ideas together, and just following my head/heart/gut.

What is resonance?

Resonance is what makes a working work. It’s the quality of a successful magical endeavor, one that has a genuine impact. In my observations, it has three components: accordance, effort, and state. Accordance means you’re acting in line with your intention via correspondence, symbolism, and/or magical sympathy. Effort means what it sounds like, that you’re putting some genuine effort into your working. State means you’re mentally focused, energetically in tune, and overall just really feeling the magic, the power and the wonder, as you do the working. The most important part to each of these components is that you do them sincerely; there are no cop-outs or workarounds to what your gut says you gotta do.

Thoughts on curses?

I’m not anti-curse, but I’m grateful to have never felt a need to curse someone in my own life. The closest I’ll ordinarily get to cursing someone is “cursing” then with a positive quality that would completely derail their current plans and help them become better. But I acknowledge that that may not always be the right solution.

Divination

What kinds of divination do you use?

I mainly use different forms of cartomancy: tarot, Normal Tarot (not the same lol), Lenormand, playing cards, and a system of my own creation. I also use several non-Nordic “rune”/symbol sets, two of which I created and two of which I adapted from the work of Silvia Hartmann (whom, let it be known, I do have issues with). I plan to create a tool for using the Glide Oracle beyond just the mobile app. I do sometimes use tarot and Lenormand shufflemancy playlists, and I’ve started working with a system I made for a d100 spinner ring, but I prefer more hands-on systems over purely random ones, for reasons I go into below.

How does divination work/how do you do divination?

Divinatory instruments are an aid for the intuition, a jumping-off point and a guide for facilitating understanding when the mind needs something to go off of. The fact that I use magical means to make sure those jumping-off points are as accurate as possible doesn’t change the fact that that’s what they’re doing.

When I do a reading, the first thing I do is get in tune. With any entity I might want to communicate with, with whoever I’m doing the reading for, with my divination tool, with the matter at hand, etc. Mentally and energetically, I focus on and connect to each of these things. I then trust that my intuition can take all that information, and let me know when to stop shuffling/when to pull a rune so that I get the most helpful answer.

(Being able to move through the Fundamental and find different energies comes in handy in distance readings for that reason, by the way.)

Do you use divination to tell the future?

When I’m getting in tune with everything, it’s necessarily with how things are at the present. To the extent that the present determines the future, I can do readings for the future. But I always keep in mind that the trajectory for the future can change, and I absolutely believe in free will.

Spiritual Pragmatism and UPG

What is spiritual pragmatism?

So this is where that disclaimer comes in. I’m a spiritual pragmatist, which means when it comes to things that aren’t objectively provable, I base my beliefs on what’s most useful to me. That applies to my beliefs surrounding divinity, energy, etc. but also just general philosophical stances, like my belief in free will. This is not to imply that I don’t genuinely believe these things, because I do, only that I don’t care to try and prove the concrete “truthfulness” of them beyond that they make sense to me and have helped me in some way. It’s somewhat similar to chaos magick’s stance on belief, except 1) I’m not looking to change my beliefs at the drop of a hat or anything, and 2) usefulness isn’t limited to what makes the magic work. It could mean what makes me a more fulfilled or happier person, what helps me to feel like I belong and matter in the world, etc.

What about magic?

So magic is a grey area, since it’s so often based in these more unprovable things, but it’s also something I can, and generally try to, test. Still, I’ve gotten results in magic using my own understanding and systems, and other people have gotten results in magic with their own understandings and systems. So I acknowledge my magical framework for what it is: UPG, unverified personal gnosis. Things I know to be true in my own experience, but can’t necessarily vouch for outside of that.

By all means, try out what I have to say and see if it works for you. Gain experience with magic and then trust that experience, above what anyone else says about how magic is supposed to work.

Grab Bag

What’s your name?

Arri. For all intents and purposes.

Pronouns?

She/they.

Sun/Moon/Rising?

Taurus/Pisces/Aquarius.

MBTI? Enneagram?

I know I’m a 4w3 (either 479 or 471), and the tests online always say I’m an INFP, but I know enough about cognitive functions to know that those tests aren’t accurate to how MBTI works, and not enough to know what my actual type is.

Edit: This answer has changed; I now know myself to be a 1w9 (tritype 147, subtype probably sp/so).

What does “spectralstars” mean?

It’s a reference to my understanding of energetic signatures, which is similar to audio spectral analysis, where you don’t measure the frequency and amplitude as a single sound wave, you measure the amplitudes of the many sine waves of different frequencies that make up the sound. That warrants its own post. The stars bit is a reference to a Discord I’m in and also I just really like stars.

[scarletta-ec]

Original Sin Story: Re_Crime

[AFTERWORD]

So this is mainly mothy talking about the original book so I guess this means I get to go through my process. More or less just my patch notes from this build of Original Sin Story: Crime.

Part 1

First, I made Maria a little older when she was caught in a storm. I wanted to distance Levia from lightning and make Maria a more Miku-ish age rather than a typical Rin age. 

Basically, I’m increasing Levia’s association with wind instead of lightning.

Next was Miroku’s name. I don’t know, it’s an alright name but it feels weird for a surname from later EC being a first name of a not-Jakokuese character here. I first renamed him Nemanja, but then found a Slavic G- name I liked, Gavriil. It’s an equivalent to “Gabriel” which is the name of an archangel.

I liked the first few chapters so not too much has changed. It got exponentially more and more divided from the source material as the book quality went down.

I haven’t changed too much of the worldbuilding or politics cause that is not my strong point, lol. It’s serviceable so I let it be.

I added a description of curled platinum blond hair for Irta Li because I think he should look like Alucard.

Changed the “gear” system of time to “period” since that term is an actual expression of time and is not used in-universe/in the book for this purpose.

Changed Adam and Gammon’s reactions to being late. I just feel maybe Adam shouldn’t be so smug and Gammon such an ass.

I didn’t change anything about Vaju, but his description makes me think of the Capitol elite from The Hunger Games.

Part 2

Didn’t feel like settling on “Mogura” or “Mole People” for those people who dig up Second Period relics, so I just titled them Excavators.

Kept the magic car cause it’s pretty dope and it made my friend go feral cause she predicted it.

Genderbent Raiou into Raijoou because I always imagined the Zvezdas as matriarchal and instead of switching it so Raiou was the late parent, I just said screw it, Eve gets two moms.

I like the idea of Horus Solnste being his own character but there’s really no way to make it work without even more rewrites so he’s still Seth here.

Raijoou’s wife still claims to have found Eve in a river. This is an in-story lie and a meta misdirection.

Added that Adam and Eve have a year to two year difference in age, but they’re both around 20.

I found the whale thing kind of dumb so I just made Catherine a “white blur under the waves” (i.e. a dead sunken body). I get it was a Jonah’s whale reference but I don’t think she needs to literally be a whale for her to fulfill that reference, like how Seth is never a literal snake.

Changed the mention of “THE White Army” to “A White Army”. Raisa mentions a test of her “Second Regiment”. I changed her from a Salem inheritor to a Vlad inheritor (who uses fire magic). This “Second Regiment” is an undead army that are all white, like the Netsuma humans of her First Regiment. Though the zombies are resistant to regular fighting, lightning gets them down quite easily.

I have to say, I wasn’t really chill with Meta being a Gilles inheritor when the info came out but the Red Devotees are so terrifying I couldn’t change it.

Salem inheritor fire is not fire magic. The Netsuma are not all Vlad inheritors like Raisa, but they are all skilled in the fire arts, that is, fire spells and weapons. The arts don’t cover blue flames, as only Salem inheritors produce that.

I made Eve a Held sect member from the start, for more conflict between her and Zellana as Zellana proceeds to be an asshole about Held. Since Nemu isn’t too close to the forest, Eve hasn’t seen Held for herself, so she tries not to cause so much of a fuss, aware she’s in a Levia sect majority place.

Part 3

Adam doesn’t have a direct memory of any river. He was just already out in the open as a very young child as far as he could remember.

Adam is still caught up in a storm like the original tsunami and is saved by Catherine.

Made Horus/Seth as less of a dick than he is, by him being unable to bring Adam to Maria (or reveal Adam as Maria’s son) since Maria’s visitors really are restricted and enforced.

It’s unclear if Horus really did update Maria on Adam’s condition as he claims, decide depending on how you want to see him.

Made Gammon and Adam’s relationship just a bit more pining-y, so when Gammon is drunk he just leans on Adam instead of the counter.

Changed the fucking STUPID Levia inheritor bullshit with Venom. Venom is now connected to Gilles Inheritors. Kept the dead body experimentation part so it’s uncomfortably close to the truth.

Made Adam a little less willing to commit homicide.

MADE ADAM KEEP HIS STUPID, GROSS PLAN ON THE BACKBURNER. HE DOESN’T GO THROUGH WITH IT.

Adam circumvents Seth for the recipe for Venom. This is very important.

Horus/Seth has told Adam about the river children, not telling Adam he is one of those. Adam thus assumes he must be one of them. This is further misdirection.

Raijoou is still a founding member of Apocalypse.

Seth isn’t around so much while Adam and Eve hang out, so as far as Adam is aware, Seth doesn’t know he’s using Venom. This is important as well.

Gammon flirts with Adam but slyly takes it back before he notices.

Adam is already paranoid that he’s given Eve too much Venom (this is unchanged from the source but still important for the payoff)

Scene with Catherine is unchanged, because I love her and this scene.

When Eve has the stillbirth, Seth implies something on Adam’s part is what caused it. The pieces all come together: Seth may have created Venom, but Adam went behind his back to get Venom, used it while trying to keep Seth from knowing about it, thus making this all Adam’s fault. Seth didn’t even convince him to use it, either.

Part 4

Seth gets a black eyes and is being creepy when pistol-whipped. Also his glasses were sent flying off his face.

Finally, Seth clears the meticulous shit I set up, lmao.

After Maria was rendered sterile and her twins were gotten rid of, she still wanted a child and enlisted Seth to make it happen.

The twins aren’t Adam and Eve. Seth kept the boy in cryostasis in Lunaca Labora for his destruction powers, and gave the girl to the Lighwatch Temple so he could keep a close eye on her. These are Amostia and Elluka, respectively.

Adam is essentially a tube-grown human. He’s not a ghoul child because he was made with two sets of DNA, Maria’s and a foreign man to obscure Adam’s phenotype.

Lunaca Labora is a large underground complex, with secret entrances spanning to and from many important capital buildings.

Thus, when Apocalypse bombed one of these buildings, this caused a collapse in the section of Lunaca Labora below it, the chaos in which Adam disappeared.

It was incidents like this that made Raijoou leave Apocalypse and take a wife in the quiet village of Nemu once again.

Horus had met both Raijoou and her wife, Inanna while searching Evillious.

I named her wife Inanna because I wanted a name that resembled “inazumi” to fit Raijoou’s lightning theme, in addition to Inanna meaning “lady” and “heaven/sky”, and being a Sumerian goddess equated to Ishtar.

Without Raijoou’s input, Inanna enlisted Horus to make them a child, she she couldn’t have any, and of course not with Raijoou.

Eve is fashioned the same way as Adam- made with two sets of DNA donated by Inanna and Raijoou.

She was a backburner project so she was finished about a year after both Adam and Meta. Seth had also made Eve a HER carrier.

Since Raijoou is a Held inheritor, Eve ended up as one, too. Noticing this early in her development, it got Seth interested in making ghoul children with inheritor abilities.

Seth is still a shitty father, but I made it less..... cartoonishly horrible. Not better, just less awful. Seth is already a twisted guy, so he tried raising Adam the way he himself was raised, the only way he could think of: purely for their intelligence. Seth had gifted child syndrome, I’m calling it.

Seth tried making Gilles inheritor ghoul children specifically because they were hard to make. If he could get them correctly, he could make any kind of inheritor.

When he failed, he melted down their compositions since they were now useless. This is where Venom really comes from.

His first success was Meta, which opened the door for more inheritors.

Seth would have preferred Cain and Abel be born alive, as he swapped the God Seed for Seeds of Malice when they were first conceived. (Notice how Seth just always has it with him and is the first to brandish it, even in OSS: Crime?) Eve being a HER carrier would have increased Cain and Abel’s chances of being born with HERS.

They did indeed die because Eve had too much Venom. Not because of some really gross lazy ass-pull of a plot twist. That’d be crazy, right?

Eve was actually immune to Venom because as the Held inheritor test tube human Seth made, her own powers cancelled Venom’s powers out.

But even though the drug did not affect her mind, it was still in her bloodstream.

Normally, that’s not a problem, but Venom’s side effects in a pregnant person include deformities in the developing fetus(es) that can kill in utero (the same general reason Gilles Inheritors were so hard to make)

Eve still went mad after the stillbirth, which is not because of all the Venom in her bloodstream, the trauma activated the self-hypnosis (another Held inheritor power) she uses throughout the series. It’s a self defense tactic to protect her from the death of her children, by making her think they are alive and well.

That hypnosis will last a VERY long time, it’s in constant action like a flexing muscle, though its effects waver. I imagine it’d make her kind of despondent or tired since she’s just constantly using her inheritor powers without even realizing it.

Seth is definitely puppeting all these disasters but Cain and Abel’s deaths are on Adam’s hands.

Part 5

RAISA AND META ARE ACTUALLY FRIENDS, LIKE MOTHY ORIGINALLY SAID.

I mean honestly they’re like casual, informal girlfriends. It’s like they never actually asked the other out but when they spar for fighting practice they pin each other a lot. They just like being near each other. Looking at each other. They drink together a lot.

I made Meta not such a bitch about Raisa, too. Like, Jesus Christ, mothy. Meta is now worried for Raisa because she’s such a hellbeast in battle, not cause she hates her for [404 REASON NOT FOUND].

Meta didn’t really have any impression of Raisa when Pale suggested they recruit her, mainly agreeing because it beefed up their forces, coming to know her because they had since lived together with the rest of Apocalypse.

Meta finds Raisa’s scar (particularly around her mouth) distracting because they aren’t covered up behind a mask like they usually are.

Raisa literally climbs onto Meta’s bed and probably over Meta so they can be face to face.

Meta’s almost not even listening, cause Raisa’s hair is like a glowing white next to her red face. Meta, please stop thinking about how pretty your girlfriend is and listen.

Instead of completely pointless amnesia, Meta simply wishes to not dwell on her past. It’s more of a conscious effort to repress that time of her life than actual locked-away memories.

To nonamnesiac Meta, her life really only meant something once she was around 20.

HEY, INSTEAD OF CHILD META BEING ASSAULTED, LET ME PROPOSE: 

Much like Adam, Meta had nothing to do but wander around the country, though she more often broke into homes and stole than he did.

Her Gilles inheritor charms allowed her to weasel her way out of trouble, but she always thought people went easy on her because she was a homeless child.

Her powers/the genuine pity of onlookers sometimes allowed her to SCP-1076 her way into a home, but she always felt out of place and would usually end up running away again.

Meta was caught up in an attack by Apocalypse but as the action was winding down, Pale found her and recruited her, her murdering a hostage as a sort of initiation.

The Royal Capital Army’s armor can’t be breached by Raisa’s fire. This is important later on.

Meta is done zoning out so she hugs Raisa to make her stop shouting.

Some very subtle rewording that implies Meta wasn’t dressed before Raisa left the room. Not necessarily naked, but maybe in whatever nightclothes she had. I imagine just lingerie though.

Milky is dressed as she usually is, on top of the covers while Pale is under them.

Made Meta less so goddamn spiteful about Milky??

Basically Meta and Pale kind of joke with each other about their other partners, Raisa and Milky respectively. Apocalypse is a big ol’ polycule, minus Yegor. Cause he’s a creep.

Kept the cute stuff Meta thinks about Pale... who’d have thought their relationship would be the least garbage out of the original book?

Changed a little bit about Pale’s music box tinkering. He’s not making something, he’s taking it apart. Though he plans to put it back together to get better at making things.

Meta is still thinking about Raisa so she accidentally brings her up when they’re discussing the mole in the group.

Meta genuinely doesn’t think Raisa is the mole, and defends her when Pale asks if she’s implying something.

The woman Meta comes across is still? Eve? I have no goddamn idea why it can’t be her in the original so, you’re welcome mothy, I fixed it.

The fog and fighting has knocked out Adam, whom Eve is cradling. The fog is a byproduct of Venom so it doesn’t affect Meta nor Eve.

Eve is so stressed, so hypnosis is going into overdrive to the point she can’t even get her children’s names right. or she could just be so upset that she’s slurring her words. 

Raisa has somehow come into intel that says Yegor is the mole and is conspiring to capture Meta, so she abandoned her trip north to warn or help Meta.

Raisa is not immune to Venom, but the mask she uses to cover her scars is helping filter some of it out so she’s still lucid enough to yell to Meta.

The fog has overtaken most of the scene, Eve has escaped with Adam, and Capital Army forces are closing in on Meta.

Raisa tackles Meta to the ground in an effort to cover her and unleashes an explosion (that ends up knocking the both of them out) in an effort to keep them away.

Elluka is older on account of being Maria’s twin daughter. She’s still quite youthful anyways.

Removed the second period legacy room mumbo jumbo. It can just be a Third Period anti-magic room.

Yegor Asayev looks like V from V For Vendetta, because I said so.

Instead of dying like a punk and offscreen no less, Raisa was killed immediately after her stunt to protect Meta. Remember, her fire can’t penetrate the army’s armor. She was aware of this but it was all she could think to do, or to do at all.

Yegor doesn’t know how Raisa caught wind of his betrayal and wonders if he has a mole of his own. I don’t either. It’s for intrigue!!

Made Meta more... emotional. Cause she kind of seemed not to care too much. Like obviously she was angry and defeated but since in this version, someone she loved, Raisa, died protecting her, all in vain, she’s even more griefstricken.

Meta and Elluka are friends by the barest means. Meta tried scaring her to get what she wanted, but Meta ends up giving her advice. This is how it was in the original but I still want to highlight it.

Instead of a pendant, Seth’s plan and map is kept in a glass bottle on Meta’s person.

Seth remains a little shit in this scene because he’s honestly the best part of the original book.

Elluka still cries for Meta, because of their rapport. God, I just think it’s so sweet.

Kept the baby Pale thing. I mean in the original it was probably added to make the age gap between Elluka and Kiril less YIKES, but I wasn’t quite sure how to take it out. Even if Elluka is older in this continuity, I think Pale being de-aged doesn’t hurt.

Hansel and Gretel are preemies!

Clearly something is up with Gammon, so I added he’s being tying his hair differently and smiling more often.

Since it was traveling into Maria’s maze that marked this changed, I changed his hair tie from high to low to match Irina’s low braid to suggest Maria might be in there.

I think it’s weird if Gammon himself was just kind of removed from the story by another character in his body so I made it ambiguous as to whether he’s still in there or not.

Looking at the babies forces Meta to think about her own childhood.

Meta can’t drain the tanks without letting the babies fall, so she dives inside, disconnects them from their support tubes and breaks them from the inside.

Yes, I’m aware the strength needed to break the glass would have to be fucking IMMENSE since it can handle the pressure from containing a building’s worth of heavy fluid, but shut up, Meta is buff in this continuity. Besides, the glass probably isn’t made to withstand sharp, repeated points of stress from the inside as opposed to the designed entire surface area pressure. I’m sure someone who’s into physics is reading this and pulling their hair out and I’m sorry. Not sorry enough to fix it. sdfghj

I want the incident that allowed Adam to escape to be the same one Meta escaped in, but I have NO idea if I can make that work in the timeline. I sure which there was a goddamn calendar system for this, mothy.

I have no idea what the hell mothy is talking about with Levia’s blessing, but anyways I kept it vague about how the babies are immune to the Venom fog. The wording is more in line with what we hear during Lust Arc when IR is talking about Mikulia’s immunity to Sateriasis’ lust spell.

Part 6

Kept the fourth wall breaking with Eve. That shit’s too great.

Definitely made the pre-demonic Venom Sword Raisa’s sword that they confiscated.

Eve picks up her Held worshiping habits again. They technically never went away but it was hard to do deep in Levianta.

Part 7

Adam doesn’t recognize Meta. To be honest, I can’t tell if he DOES recognize her in the original or not. But for sure here, he doesn’t point her out as Meta.

Adam is kind of silently panicking, so he just says sorry for every movement of the shovel he makes to bury her.

The time placements are all over the place in this chapter, just ignore it.

Eve’s self-hypnosis is still in full effect when they escape deep into Elphegort.

I sort of added a whole scene? More like I took stuff from other scenes and added enough to make it its own scene.

Her hypnosis was in complete swing when she came in the door, but Adam and the reality of Meta’s death finally broke it. Her denial from now on is normal self-denial, not the result of an inheritor ability defense mechanism.

Even though Eve has, on some level, acknowledged her wrongdoing and the reality of things, she still finds comfort in the babies.

I know earlier I made Adam less willing to commit homicide but I find his even just contemplating infanticide darkly humorous. Like, what the fuck, Adam? Of course he doesn’t follow through on it, though.

Kept Gretel being weirdly conscious of everything while Hansel is just a normal baby. I love the idea of Gretel being a creepy horror movie baby who knows more than she should and Hansel is just here vibing.

Remember that Adam thinks she’s done all this because he drugged her with Venom. He is indeed responsible for killing her unborn children with Venom, but he isn’t aware Venom hasn’t affected her mentally.

So Eve’s Original Sin is killing Meta and taking her babies, and Adam’s Original Sin is “ruining Eve” and thus killing her children.

Part 8

Added how Seth technically had Maria’s permission to do what he did, but he still took advantage of that, so even revealing that wouldn’t make him look good. It’s not officially reported cause it could lend him some credence.

Kept his edgy little manifesto because it makes me laugh.

Didn’t take out the Pale/Kiril thing because honestly that was an adequate turn of events.

Glossary

Levianta was founded by a cabal of mages who discovered Second Period artifacts. Magic is powerful, but requires time and preparation to use—however, the old technology streamlined the usage of magic, making it easier and more useful for technological advance. The woman who would become the first queen was named Alice Merry-Go-Round, and she is the one who realized this.

She hired people to dig up the technology in the temple, but was faced with resistance from the local populace, who revered Levia-Behemo using that temple. Alice put a wall around it in response, and this became the “first wall”. More walls were built and eventually this became a fortress.

Her followers named it Alicegrad, and Alice herself founded Levianta with herself as the queen. Still, they faced resistance from the natives. To appease them, Alice declared Levia-Behemo as the country’s god, and made a council of 12 people. Six of them were mages who served under her, and six were comprised of the local natives. Levianta grew prosperous. 

When the first queen died, her daughter inherited her position and took on the name of Alice Merry-Go-Round herself. Since then, every queen has taken that name. The one who appears in the story is the seventh one.

Alices 1 through 4 are based on Alice of Human Sacrifice, broken by the Fifth one.

Loop Octopus and Vaju are of the 6 mage families in the senate. Asayev and Li are of the 6 native local families. The families are supposed to be equal, but there are great gaps between them. Example being Loop Octopus has taken much of Vaju’s wealth, and there are two Loop Octopuses on the senate now (Gammon and his younger brother, Nazar, the family’s heir).

Lighwatch is a place where they raise queen candidates, but also has things like jail cells and execution devices like Torcia Tower. Lighwatch collects girls with Levia inheritor powers. They are able to remove “malice” from people’s hearts, and also hear the “voice of god”. Yegor is able to tell them by sight, as he is an inheritor of Behemo, who can see another person’s inheritor powers. Zellana and Elluka are orphans.

There were different varieties of Ghoul Children when it came to the artificial personalities they had. “Clean” refers to those that have no memories, “Preset” refers to those that have pre-made false memories, and “Copy” refers to those that have identical memories to Seth.

Catherine was a marine scientist, and married to Gilles. They rode along in the Climb One. They had a son, but he was sickly and did not ride on the same ship as them.

For this reason she grew jealous towards female psychologist Rahab, whose two children were able to board the ship with her. When she realized that Rahab was having an affair with Gilles, her jealousy turned to rage. She conspired with Lich to kill Rahab, but in the end was killed by Lich, who she realized too late was really “malice” wearing his form.

So then, I guess I’m gonna have to fix Original Sin Story: Punishment, whether I want to or not. Can’t wait to see what fuckery awaits us in it.

[basi69]

How to Start Customer Centric Start-ups for Sustainable Profits

“When you are still trying to prove yourself in any career or line of business, you spend most of your time trying to make people understand what you are all about. However, when you have made it, people make it their business to understand you” Basi Malatji

 Regardless of whether you are currently a white-collar professional, a business graduate or a drop-out looking to start your own business, or someone bored with their current job, starting a business could be a great option.

Starting a business is hard. Responsible Entrepreneurship is not only about making money but more about providing solutions to problems and meeting needs in whichever form or shape they may be. Responsible Entrepreneurs are those who are not just in it for the money even though they stand to make a lot of it in the process. They lead by an unquenchable desire, drive and passion to make this world a better place and living on it an enjoyable experience. Entrepreneurship is a calling of passion to change lives and the environment for the better and make a profit in the process.

If you are still thinking of starting a business, then understanding the fundamentals for entrepreneurs and start-ups will be a great resource for you. It will guide you through the process of business idea formulation and other critical requirements for starting your business. However if you are ready to start and want to avoid the mistakes that others have made by learning from their experiences then avoiding mistakes that most entrepreneurs make can prove to be a valuable resource you just needed.

Starting a business has evolved hugely over the years but the fundamentals have remained the same. Here we are going to share the benefits of starting a business, key steps for starting a business, and important considerations for establishing a small business.

There are many different types of businesses out there (manufacturing/design/restaurants, wholesaling, retail, construction, and service) each with a different set of requirements. While the approaches in establishing these businesses may differ, the fundamentals of starting and running these businesses are basically the same. All these businesses must have an internet presence in one form or another if they are to reach as many potential customers as possible.

Just like with human life, businesses have to be conceived (ideation, conceptualization, tested), given birth to (launched), and nurtured (managed and grew). Each stage is a process on each own and needs to be given the necessary attention and time it requires. By rushing it you run the risk of aborting the potential of that business growing and becoming a mega-enterprise.

We live in an era in which we witness a faster pace of technological development but even with that there will always be a need for knowing and understanding concepts of business management and growth. So, basic understanding of business conceptualization on the side of entrepreneurs and potential business owners becomes critical in making sure that the foundations of the potential business ventures they envisage are solid. This basic understanding on the part of the entrepreneur and emerging business owner determines the success and failure of the venture long before it starts. It entails understanding the stages of the business process, from formulating a business idea (ideation) to testing it (conceptualization) to making money out of it (operationalization). Bravery and confidence to succeed come from the know-how and ability to execute. It does not only make your competition look amateurish but a display of pure excellence. Planning, starting and growing a business is a game that needs a thorough understanding by all involved.

Start-ups are small businesses with the attitude of wanting to expand and grow while small businesses start and remain small. There are many factors that entrepreneurs and start-ups must consider before they start that determine the business concept’s potential for growth beyond the small business stage. These factors can easily be identified through the planning/conceptualization phase which is made up of the Value Proposition and the Business Model. Truth be told, there can never be effective business planning without great Value Propositions and Business Models. These two processes are critical foundational determinants that determine the success, profitability and continuity of the business long before it started. Failure to consider these two critical planning processes is a recipe for disaster.

Entrepreneurs and business owners

Not every business owner is an entrepreneur. The difference between the two is in their definition and attributes. You don’t have to be an entrepreneur to own a business.

Why start a business?

This article assumes that you have already figured out your business idea and have tested it, if you haven’t done so yet, no big deal. Potentially profitable ideas are those that are desirable, feasible and viable. They are seeking to provide solutions to market problems thus creating happy customers. Entrepreneurs and Start-Ups: The Fundamental Truths is the relevant resource for more information on identifying profitable ideas and more.  

There are numerous reasons for starting a business and differ from one person to the next. It is however very important to be honest with yourself regarding your passion, skill set and market demand when you plan to start a business.

There are many advantages for starting your own business. Firstly, you wake up every morning doing what you have always wanted to do. Fulfilment is the first reward. Secondly, you have the opportunity to change lives and the world. This is accomplished by offering products and services that are intended to make other peoples’ lives better. The opportunity to impact lives is the second reward. Thirdly, you have an opportunity to make a profit. The opportunity to create wealth is the third and final reward.

 Steps to starting a business

This is not a one size fit all process. Many people will for sure list many different steps under this heading for different reasons. I have deliberately listed only four steps that I believe are critical to the process of establishing a business from scratch and are relevant to this article.

1) Check out your passion and align it to your skill set.

Check your skill set in relation to your passion. This is important more especially if you want to be in it for a long haul. This you can do through performing your own SWOT (strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and threats) relating to the type of business you wish to be involved in. Your passion and skill set will be your anchor during the initial trying times when your business starts to take off which is what every start-up business go through. You really need to know why you want to start a business. Is it for the money, freedom and flexibility, to solve a problem, or some other reason? Solving a problem and making a profit in the process is what responsible entrepreneurs do. This approach to establishing a business ensures sustainability through happy customers.

2) Figure out your market/niche (ideation)

Research societal, environmental and business problems to determine which one you can be able to address in relation to your passion and skill set determined in step 1 above. The criteria for idea choice should be desirability, feasibility and viability. You have to test the validity of the idea by conducting a short survey from the identified market. Entrepreneurs and Start-Ups: The Fundamental Truths is a relevant resource to help with the understanding of this step and more.

3) Understand the pain points of that market/niche (business planning)

This is the business planning stage of the process of establishing a business. The best tool to use for this purpose is the Value Proposition. This will help you determine the most urgent problems and needs of your target market and if you will be providing a product or service.  basis.

Small businesses, start-ups and their failures are well documented facts. There is a long list of variables and factors that are identified as the root causes of the alarming failure of start-ups (80% plus) in their first 36 months of operation.

How the entrepreneurs start their businesses has a significant impact on the success or failure of their enterprises. So, starting right is critical and it involves giving attention to basic but crucial factors that are often neglected

One key determinant of business success that is overlooked in all the studies for small business and start-up performance is the FOUNDATION of the business which is made up of the Value Proposition and the Business Model.

Business Value Proposition

Value Propositions are mechanisms for evaluating businesses to check if they reflect what customers value most. They form the core of your company’s competitive strategy by differentiating it from competitors. A value proposition describes the benefits customers can expect from your product or service. Your value proposition is the primary reason a prospective customer will use your product or service.

Understanding the problem you are solving for your customers is undoubtedly the biggest challenge you will face when you are starting a business or seeking to grow your small business or start-up. Customers need to want what you are selling and your product needs to solve a real problem (important and urgent). Proper market problem identification and diagnosis ensure market fit solution design resulting in happy customers and sustainably increased business revenue.

Value Propositions help to improve customer understanding and engagement with the company offerings. Powerful Value Propositions help customers to truly understand the value of company products and services. They also help prospective customers to see how products or services benefit them and are their best available option. Happy customers are a product of a properly constituted Value Proposition resulting in sustainably increased business revenue. More importantly, Value Propositions help entrepreneurs, start-ups and small businesses to target the right prospective customers thus helping companies to grow their market share and sustainable increase business revenue.

Value Propositions and Value Proposition statements are two different issues. Value Proposition statements are derived from the process of Value Proposition design. They are well thought deductive statements at the end of the Value Proposition design process. Your value proposition statement is the promise you give to customers that you will deliver something of value to them. It's a statement that explains: (1) the benefit you offer; (2) who will benefit from it; and (3) why you are the best choice to deliver that benefit. There can never be an effective Business Model without a great Value Proposition and there can never be an effective business planning without a great Business Model. So, every business should design one.

Start-up Value Positioning is a practical online resource that highlights the critical role business Value Propositions play in ensuring profitability, sustainability and success of start-ups and small businesses. It offers the shortest possible time frame to achieve the course outcome. It enables entrepreneurs, aspiring business owners and start-ups to identify and diagnose the market problems and needs so that they can be able to design or source the right solutions resulting in happy customers and sustainably increased business revenue. It offers the shortest possible time frame to design own business Value Proposition.

4) Figure out the mechanisms for proving solutions to your market/niche

The best tool to use for this purpose is the Business Model. This will help you determine your business blueprint to deliver value to customers and make money in the process, how much it will cost to establish your business, key business drivers, the revenue streams and profit. It will also allow you to set the critical success criteria for your business.

Business Models

Understanding the problem you are solving for your customers is a critical step in ensuring potential growth of your business. Customers need to want what you are selling and your product needs to solve a real problem (important and urgent). This is the role played by Value Propositions. But, ensuring that your product fits the needs of the market (Value Proposition) is only one part of starting or growing a successful business. The other key ingredient is figuring out how your business is going to make money. This is where your business model comes into play.

A Business Model is a plan for the successful operation of a business, identifying sources of revenue, the intended customer base, products, and details of financing. A business model is a blueprint for small business and start-up success – your business’ roadmap for success.

 Before you start your small business which has the potential to be a start-up and grow to be a giant enterprise, you need to create a business model. A Business Model is not a business plan.  However, there can never be an effective business planning without a great Business Model and there can never be an effective Business Model without a great Value Proposition.

Properly crafted, designed and modelled businesses warrant desirability, feasibility and viability of the business project resulting in business success. Great Business Models are crucial for the profitability, success and sustainability of any business organization. Business Models impact three areas of the business:

1.    Everything it takes to make something - design, raw materials, stock, labour, and so on (planning).

2.    Everything it takes to sell that thing – marketing and promotions, distribution (channels), delivering a service, and processing the sale (systems and processes).

3.    How and what the customer pays - pricing strategy, payment methods, payment timing, and so on (revenue streams).

Business Models force entrepreneurs to put aside the excitement of business ideas and make a realistic evaluation of their potential success and growth prospects of their businesses. A proper business model helps entrepreneurs, start-ups and small businesses to figure the following core ingredients out:

1) Business concept – what problem the business is solving and for whom;

2) Customer value creation - how the business plans to create customer value;

3) Value distribution - how the business plans to deliver the products or services to customers; 

4) Competitiveness - how the business plans to stay competitive; and

5) Revenue and costs - all revenue and costs you can anticipate.

 Business Models help entrepreneurs, small business owners and start-ups to consider all possible areas of concern for establishing and growing their businesses. Once you have proven the feasibility of your new business or your start-up expansion plan with a business model, you will then be ready to engage a more comprehensive business plan. There are no shortcuts to a profitable, sustainable and successful business. This is an investment worth making with huge returns for success. So, every business should have a Business Model. There can never be an effective Business Model without a great Value Proposition and there can never be an effective business planning without a great Business Model.

Start-up Business Modelling is a practical online resource that highlights the critical role Business Models play in the success of start-ups and small businesses. It enables entrepreneurs, aspiring business owners and start-ups to successfully build their own Business Models so that they can be able to properly manage their business activities resulting in efficient minimization of costs and sustainable increase in business revenue and profit. It offers the shortest possible time frame to build own Business Model.

 The above steps apply to both offline and online businesses. Each business type has processes that need unbundling for ease of understanding.

To really grow your business after starting it you need to step up out of your comfort zone and think out of the box.

[fanficsaremylifeline]

Hi. My name is Peter Parker. You might know me from such hits as “local idiot accidentally poisons himself” or “resident disaster human being gets his girlfriend lettuce, thinking it were flowers”. (Luckily, both these happenstances went over without too much of a hitch. But you probably already guessed that, otherwise I wouldn't be able to tell you all this, now would I?)

This is the story of another time I – albeit with the best intentions – really messed up.

It all started about ten days ago. I was at home, just minding my own business, when the doorbell rang, followed by my Aunt calling out: “Peter, you have visitors!”

After putting down my comic book, I walked out to the living room, to find Mr Captain America, Mr The Winter Soldier White Wolf and Mr Falcon standing there.

“Uhm hi.”

“Heya, Queens”, Mr America smiled. “You doing alright?”

“Yeah, Brooklyn”, I grinned back. “What brings you by?”

“We could do with your help on a mission.”

“What kind of mission are we talking about here?” Aunt May eyed the Avengers quite sternly, and it was almost funny to see the superheroes, that had fought in World War II shy back in fear. Totally understandable, though, I don't think there's anyone that warrants more respect than Aunt May. Ok, maybe Pepper Potts. And most definitely MJ. MJ, that's short for Michelle Jones, she's my girlfriend the absolute best, most wonderful person, ever. Like, she's so smart, she's really badass and doesn't take anybody's shit. And she's so pretty, like really beautiful, inside even more so than out, although that's not even possible. And when she laughs... The whole room lights up and my brain's entire bio-chemistry just blows up. MJ is the absolute best, perfection incarnate and I realize that I maybe may have trailed off a bit there... Sorry 'bout that, let me get back to the story.

Where was I?

Right, Mr America, Bucky, Sam, a mission and a stern Aunt May.

“It's nothing military”, Steve explained. “It's Tony's birthday coming up and we'd like to get him something special.”

“That's why we need your help”, Sam continued. “You do know him better than we do, after all.”

“And you probably have the best idea what to get the guy that already has everything”, Bucky finished their pitch.

“That is a really wonderful idea”, May smiled.

“Yeah, it's totally awesome”, I agreed. “And I might just have an idea what to get him...”

For purposes of dramatic story telling, I won't share the surprise we got for Mr Stark just yet. Rest assured though, it is a good one.

Spending the afternoon together was a lot of fun. After having gotten the surprise, we all went for doughnuts. The Avengers couldn't stay too long though, they had appointments back at the compound, some sort of meeting, that I am happy to miss out on. Seriously, those Avenger meetings are boring as hell!

So I did what I love doing in my free time: I went out on patrol.

Oh right, that's something else you need to know about me first. Do you see that red figure, swinging through the streets, doing a flip and landing right over there on that rooftop? Yeah, that's me. For I am a superhero! But not just any old superhero, I am the one and only Friendly Neighbourhood Spider-Man, vigilante par excellence and part time Avenger. As little as I enjoy showing off, I have to admit that this is pretty awesome. I'm super strong, can climb up walls, walk on ceilings and my newest suit update even made me bulletproof! (Well, not me directly, but to quote the one and only Ironman: “The suit and me are one”, so you get where I'm going with this.)

That particular day there wasn't going on too much, though. Few pick-pockets, a car thief, but other than that it was slow, crime-wise. The problem with days like these is that it gives my mind plenty of chances to roam, especially around that one thought: I still hadn't found the perfect birthday gift for Mr Stark myself. Which yes, sounds ironic, given that I had found the perfect thing for the other Avengers to gift him, but not the right thing for me to give him. You see, our relationship started out as this sort of mentorship, where he helped me with the suit, showed me the way around an engineer's lab and is always ready to help out during patrol. By now he's more like my family. And yes, I found this pretty funny shirt, with that graph having a bunny and a duck as the x- and y-axes. No, let me rephrase that, it's not pretty funny, it's freaking hilarious. But it doesn't really say how important Mr Stark and our relationship is to me.

But what do you give the guy who is kind of like a Dad to you?

Unfortunately, even though I'm pretty smart, this thought process took a lot longer than I'd have liked. Even with the help of Ned and MJ, the smartest and best people I know, I got jack with a side of squat. The best thing they came up with was for me to cook a nice dinner for Mr Stark and Pepper. Which would be a wonderful idea, if I could cook something other than toaster-waffles or microwave-popcorn. And, as delicious as either of those are, neither really make for a fancy dinner fit for my father-figure's fiftieth birthday.

“Come on, you can make him a cake at least”, Ned mumbled, clearly caring more about my issue than the Spanish Test we were supposed to be taking right now. And that is the exact reason why he's my best friend and why I love him so.

“Fine. You know how to make a cake?”

“That's what the internet's for”, MJ hissed over.

So that's where I ended up (after getting detention for talking during a test), in front of my computer, googling how to make a cake. But just a cake wasn't enough. It was like a nice entrée, but the main course had to be so mind-blowingly amazing, showing Tony how much he means to me.

At this point of the story I'd like you all to burn into your mind how pure my intentions were and you have to agree that all I'm doing is the most amazing shit. Right, now that we're in agreement that I'm a wonderful, charming person and a delight to have around, let me continue to where everything started to go downhill.

Regrettably, all my fantastic ideas didn't really hit until the night before, which brings me to my first mistake: me thinking I could plan the most wonderful and amazing gift for Tony in about one night. Needless to say, I didn't really think all of it completely through (Mistake 2). And, for added motivation, I ingested an interesting and possibly quite dangerous mix of coffee and redbull (Mistake 3).

At first everything started out perfectly fine. The recipe was simple enough, I barely burned the damn thing and the parts that were a little dark were easily enough covered in chocolate. Some blueberries on top and I even managed to fit 50 candles on top.

Oh, you should have seen Tony's face when I carried it into the compound, he was so happy!

“Peter, that looks so delicious! I'm not sure I'm that old, though.”

“Sorry”, I shrugged and barely bit down my grin, but it's just so much fun to rile up Tony, especially when it came to his age.

“Yeah, yeah”, he grumbled and, with his arm around my shoulder pushed me to the living room, “let's jump ahead before you say something that might make me throw you out of my house.”

“Sounds good to me.”

“How was school?”

Oh fuck. After spending all morning in the kitchen, there might have been something I might have forgotten... (Mistake 4). Shit, May was so going to ground me.

“Nothing unusual”, I lied. (Mistake 5 – never, ever lie to Tony Stark, no matter how big or small the fib). “MJ and Ned wish you a very happy birthday.”

“Thank them from me. Now, the official party that is supposed to be a surprise starts in an hour.”

“Which of course you know about”, I grinned. It was virtually impossible to keep anything from Tony in this building.

“Naturally”, he grinned back. “Wanna sample a taste first, though?”

“I would love to try this perfection of palpable divinities.” (Misplaced confidence and hubris – mistake 6).

“Right.” It was with a roll of his eyes that Tony got a knife out. “So, the trick is to cut out a small slice from the middle, push the sides back together and...”

“Yeah, yeah, what do you take me for?”, I shot back, “I'm not too dumb myself.” That statement will soon be disproved, but let's revel in the beauty that is this moment where everything is still alright.

And for a few glorious moments, everything was perfect. The cake was delicious and Tony seemed to think so, too. Until he started clearing his throat. And again.

“You alright?”

“What's in that cake?”, he coughed, loosening his tie. “Not walnuts, is it?” (And that would be mistake 7).

“Uhm yeah?” Well shit. “Please don't tell me...” Of fucking course Tony would be fucking allergic to my birthday cake. “FRI, tell Bruce we're on our way to the medbay.”

“It's ok”, Tony choked, “I'll be...”

“Yes, you'll be fine.” I tried my all to sound not too panicked, I'm honestly not so sure if I succeeded, what, with my focus being on trying to get Mr Stark some help. Admittedly I all but carried him to the medbay, which he probably didn't appreciate as much as I hoped he would, but well. Safety first. (And maybe, next time, figure out what allergies the people around me have).

A shot from Bruce later, it was ok again. I would love to say it was great, but well. The admittedly disgusting looking swelling around his neck went down, and he even managed to sort of breathe again, but it still didn't look all that healthy. In short: it fucking sucked.

“Hey kid, it's alright, lived through worse.”

That might have been true, but then it hadn't been my fault. And it had been on the battlefield, not within the safety of his home and the comfort that was supposed to be his birthday party.

“And you didn't ruin my birthday”, Tony continued; apparently now able to hear every single one of my thoughts. “It doesn't matter if I look a little puffy on the pictures. It's still gonna be a fantastic party.”

“Of course he knows about the party”, Bruce scoffed. “Who blabbed?”

“Nobody did”, Tony made clear, “I'm a genius, remember?”

“Yeah, so are the other people present.”

Not that I felt much like a genius at that very moment. And Mr Stark was definitely in worse shape than “just a little puffy”. The rash had gone down a bit, but under normal circumstances Tony wasn't that red unless when wearing his iron suit and he tried not to let anything on, but I was pretty sure that whatever Tony would try to eat would be immediately thrown up again.

The other Avengers thought the whole thing to be hilarious. Which it really wasn't. Trust me. I know I wasn't the one who who almost died, but almost killing my father-figure? Being the person responsible for taking down Ironman?

Given the – hopefully understandable – embarrassment, I'm going to skip telling you about the teasing, the comments, the jabs, the laughter and everything the Avengers dished out. Well, as luck would have it, my actual present was still to come and that just had to blow everybody's mind enough that they'd forget my poisoning of Tony.

So not too long into that horrible party, I happily excused myself and headed straight for mistake number 8: letting my frustration motivate all my next moves. It would probably be best to tell you what I envisioned for my proper gift: personalized fireworks. Before you say anything, I now know that it was a horrible idea. There is probably no need for me to tell you what happened next, is there? To put a painful story short there was a loud bang and then things around me go dark.

If I'm being perfectly honest, I couldn't tell you much more details about that very situation if I wanted to, it's all a little hazy and Mr Dr Bruce say it's to blame on me hitting my head when that explosion threw me across the workshop. That we know thanks to FRIDAY, the Stark AI, having recorded it all and it would have been quite nice to remember that because the footage looks rad.

Anyways, I survived. Yay! Aunt May threatened some workshop-restrictions and a bit of grounding, not so yay, and MJ called me a dumbass, which is MJ-language for 'I'm glad you're not dead and I love you'. So, yay on that as well.

At the end of the day it was just Pepper and Tony cuddled on one couch, Happy and Rhodey decidedly not cuddling on another and me with my head on Aunt May's lap while she put her fingers through my hair, which is just the most soothing feeling in the world.

“I don't want to kill the mood, but mind telling us why you first tried to kill me and then yourself?”

“I didn't try to kill anyone. I just wanted to give you the perfect birthday gift.”

“That is the absolute sweetest thing”, he smiled. Well, I think he smiled, his face was at that point still weirdly swollen. “But you do know that every gift from you is the perfect gift, right? Even those ridiculous shirts are worth more than any Gucci suit.”

“Well, if you're bringing it up...” With that bruise on my face my smile looked probably similarly skew and messed up as Tony's. “If the cake was the entrée and the fireworks the main course, this is dessert.” From underneath the couch, where I had hidden it, I got out the last present. It took me probably an hour to wrap that damn t-shirt, suffered countless paper-cuts, invented half a dozen new swearwords and it still looked like it got caught under a steamroller. Maybe giving gifts just isn't my strong suit...

“This doesn't blow up if I open it, does it?”, Tony grinned.

“I didn't expect the other two to go that disastrous, so who knows?”

It didn't blow up, in case you were wondering. And Tony loved it, in case you were wondering about that.

So there we are. I am an idiot, yes, I know that, Mr Stark knows that and you know that, but I believe I'm an adorable idiot. It's been a few days since Mr Stark's birthday, I'm all healed, as is Tony. Of course I have not yet lived it down; the Avengers unfortunately aren't forgetful when it comes to idiocy and therefore I have repeatedly been gifted walnuts over the last few days and will continue to receive them for a long time to come.

But that's alright. The best gift, as it turned out in the end, wasn't for Tony, but for me: at his latest press thing, Mr Stark actually wore the shirt I got him. An official SI press conference, with the most prestigious papers and news outlets from all over the world and he showed up not in a fancy expensive suit, but in the damn science-pun shirt about rabbits and ducks. And all the explosions and near-death experiences can go to hell, because the very picture of Tony wearing MY shirt adorned all the newspapers this morning. And that's the best present anybody could ever get.

The End

Oh shit, wait, I totally forgot to tell you what the Avengers got Tony! You're going to love this. A little hint: Pepper wasn't all that happy about it. Yeah, you got it: a giant plush-bunny! Exactly, it's amazing.

Huh, maybe I'm not that bad at having gift ideas after all...

[portfolio-ni-rizza]

Netflix’s Death Note: [Personal] Review

Director Adam Wingard's Death Note is basically a Final Destination bootleg with the manga's name. It's flat, unnecessarily gory, and incoherent. Its promising moments are completely swept under the rug of its overall disjointed narrative and out-of-character acting.

I love Death Note. It's one of my all-time favorite series. I even have merch from my weaaboo days (haha). But I've also never been a fan of manga adaptations–not even anime (to an extent; I'm looking at you, Full Metal Alchemist and Shugo Chara season 3), and especially not of Western movies. Hollywood has YET to produce a decent manga adaptation, and this one is right up there with M. Night's The Last Airbender.

I'm not sure how these directors do their research, but by and large their end products wind up looking like their "research" is pretty much just looking up the plot on Wikipedia and making what they will of that. Netflix's DN is the absolute barebones of the wonderful masterpiece that is Ohba and Obata's Death Note. It's even more disappointing if you think about the fact that Death Note's "absolute barebones" is still a good material to work with, and we STILL end up with this bastardization.

First of all, I, at least, have no problem with the setting. To begin with, Netflix did say this was an Americanized version of the original. It makes sense that they'd change the names, considering this is set in Seattle. I did appreciate that 'Mia Sutton' is not too far from 'Misa Amane' as far as the composite letter are concerned lol. My biggest problem was the characters themselves, but I'll focus on 2 to keep this from being indecently long.

Light Turner is not supposed to be Timmy Turner's older, emo brother and is an average kid whom no one understands and happens to be good at Math and doing other people's homework. The core of Light's character is his PERFECTION. He is so far above average that he's completely detached from the rest of the world. That god complex was the entire reason he even took and managed to assume a 'god' character. It's literally the core of Death Note. Light is supposed to be the perfect son, perfect student, perfect citizen. Everyone loves him and looks up to him. And HE knows that. People don't need to tell him; he knows for himself he is BETTER than others. That's how Kira came to be in the first place.

Netflix's Light Turner is a wimpy loser with absolutely no depth as a character. He is completely one dimensional. He responds to dark and violent situations with darkness and violence. He is bullied so he fights back. His mother is murdered so he kills the murderer. It's a completely overused narrative that puts the essence of Light Yagami, antihero extraordinaire, straight into the chopping block.

From the get-go, his character is completely wrong. He is introduced as a nerdy kid who earns lunch money by doing other kids' homework. He has zero charisma. He's at the bottom of the food chain. He has absolutely nothing of what it takes to become the god that is Kira. The way that Light Turner was written would never have let him become anything larger than life; it just made him a vindictive bully who happened to be able to kill.

(A very dangerous combination–but for all the wrong reasons.)

Which just obliterates the central theme of Death Note altogether, and throws out the window the very foundation of what made the original work.

Second, this film is unnecessarily gory. Sure, a certain degree of violence is expected when it comes to murder, but Wingard just made this entire movie a B-rated slasher film with his slow-motion death scenes–something he just PACKS the whole movie with and spotlights on like it's the most important aspect of the story when it's totally secondary (if not completely an afterthought) in the original.

It's not even realistic. Light sees a BULLY (not a criminal; just a run-of-the-mill playground bully) antagonizing a schoolmate, he's handed a murder weapon for a TEST RUN, and he immediately, without a shadow of a doubt, writes 'decapitation' as the method of death? He chooses something that is exceedingly difficult, unnatural, and very, very specific for the first time he's trying to kill someone? He doesn't even UNDERSTAND what's going on; he's just had a massive Poltergeist experience. How was it possible for him to suddenly have enough presence of mind to write down an oddly specific method of death for someone who isn't even evil, just mean? That doesn't bode very well for Light as a person, let alone someone who's about to play god.

Throughout the movie, Light visibly struggles with his actions. He has no certainty. He kills with the Death Note but he lacks the inherent motivation for it; he only does it because he has to. Nothing about the characterization of Light Turner remotely suggested that he has what it takes to rule the world, as what he is essentially doing when he dictates who lives or dies (or tells your story lol). But then–all of a sudden, 5 minutes to the end of the movie and he explains this elaborate scheme where he undoes Mia killing him and transfers the ownership of the notebook back to him and basically just manipulated space and time so suit his needs.

That is a completely Light YAGAMI thing to do (and something he HAS actually done numerous times in the original). Nothing about Light TURNER's character and actions suggested he was capable of that. How convenient that 2 minutes before the police gets to him, he suddenly taps into his inner high-functioning psychopath and concocts an über-complicated plan to not die but kill 3 people and destroy one theme park along the way.

Where did that inner 'HIGH FUNCTIONING' part come from? Nearly two hours to have shown that Light's brilliant mind goes beyond solving Calculus problems and thinking up oddly particular methods of dying, and you choose the last five minutes to cram that in.

How very high school.

But enough about Light. Now we go to another important character–L. Considering that these 2 are the only ones they retain from the original (excepting Ryuk, but that's another point). L is one of the most brilliant minds in the world, but instead the movie showed him as nothing more than a weirdo that throws tantrums and only needs the FLIMSIEST of proofs to say he "knows" and he's "right". 

The original L does operate entirely on the gut feeling that Light is Kira, but he sets out to prove that. To him, nothing is ever damning enough and he won't settle for anything less than seeing Light actually murder someone right before L's very eyes. Movie L suddenly "just knows". Nothing about his actions suggests that he has the means to prove that Light is Kira; if anything, he's trying to make it so that things DO go with his conclusion, whether or not it's actually true. The real L is nothing like that. He backed down when his proofs didn't go with his conclusions. L believes in justice, first and foremost. He's almost childlike in his black-and-white convictions (I have a screenshot of this panel, so my receipts are in place). This L just doesn't capture that innocence. 

By itself, the movie isn't THAT bad. It only becomes a terrible crapfest when you have the original to compare it with. Netflix's Death Note can stand alone as a slasher/horror/thriller film to Netflix and chill with if you are holding it to itself, but never make the mistake of reading/watching the original brilliance that is Ohba and Obata's Death Note first.

I do have a real concern with the keeping of the name "Kira". Kira is just the Japanese pronunciation of "killer". Japanese people literally were calling Light, "Killer". Why did Wingard keep the Jap pronunciation? What purpose did it serve other than that 5-second line where L says it was to mislead investigation to thinking Light was Japanese? Why is there even a need for that? Was that supposed to be a nod to the Japanese root of Death Note? It may have been a pure intention on the director's part, though, but it was unnecessary, if not even reeking of whitewashing–but I'd digress and hope for the best.

[makeste]

Top 10 Favorite Deku Moments

so it’s Deku’s birthday today!! and since he is the best boy in the world and I love him, I am going to do one of those “top ten favorite...” lists for him just like I did for Kacchan back in April. these are going to be in chronological order, and the last two will be spoilers, so I’ll label them to make sure no one gets caught unawares.

happy birthday Deku. and this post turned out to be super long, like 4000 words, so I’m sorry, but you deserve it though.

1. “Most of the top heroes show signs of greatness even as children.”

okay so before I get started, let me just warn y’all upfront that a full four out of ten of these moments will involve Bakugou. I’ve said before that the relationship between Izuku and Katsuki is full stop my favorite part of the series, and this is absolutely still true, so yeah.

that being said, what makes this particular scene one of my favorites isn’t just that it’s an important moment between them (I’ll get into that relationship more two entries down); it also just so happens that this is the crucial moment which everything else in the series can ultimately be traced back to. this is the moment that inspires All Might to hand his power down to a quirkless middle-schooler, because despite being virtually powerless, Izuku proves that he has the heart and soul of a hero. he moves without thinking, without any kind of plan. it’s extraordinarily stupid, and incredibly selfless. it doesn’t matter to him that he has no way to actually fight this villain. it doesn’t matter that less than an hour ago, Bakugou was taunting him and burning his notebook. it doesn’t matter that he could easily be hurt or killed. the only thing that matters is that someone needs help. that’s it. it’s that simple. 

what makes Izuku a hero is that he is literally incapable of standing by and not taking action in moments like this. he acts on reflex to save others. his instinct in moments of danger and despair is to help, in any way he can. that’s the core of his character. and it shines through in this moment, and All Might sees it immediately, and it spurs him to take action, and from here on out everything changes.

2. “He didn’t utilize his full power. He just concentrated it into his fingertip...!”

fast-forward to the first day of superhero school, and our boy finds himself immediately in a tight spot again because his teacher is a stern and unsympathetic asshole whose way of showing consideration for his students is to mercy-expel anyone he deems not up to par. problem is, Izuku can’t actually use his new quirk without blowing himself up from the inside out, and he’s competing against what is probably the most gifted group of students U.A. has ever had. this is what is commonly referred to as “a pickle.” a jam. a quandary, if you will. if he breaks all his bones to pass the test, Aizawa will flunk him anyway. what’s a little green hero to do.

Izuku solves this problem in a typical Izuku fashion, meaning that his solution is somehow reckless, self-sacrificing, and frankly brilliant in its simplicity. rather than break all of his bones, Izuku sacrifices one (1) bone in order to launch a baseball into space, thus proving he can adapt his quirk to be useful without taking himself out and just adding to the problem. it’s worth noting that this is only his second-ever time using One for All, too. the fact that he has never had a quirk in his life up til this point and yet manages to control OFA to this degree on just his second go-around is damn impressive.

but what’s even more impressive is the way he simply outsmarts the test here. he calmly takes in the situation, thinks about the options at his disposal, and arrives at a logical solution that most people wouldn’t even have considered, because it involves intentionally breaking his own finger, which is an absurdly self-destructive thing to do just to pass a damn fitness test. but it works!! and it impresses the shit out of Aizawa too. and I just really love this moment because it’s such a perfect example of Deku both being smart and also just plain not giving a fuck and being the plussest ultra ever omfg.

3. “I can’t say much. But you should know this, at least...!”

so now we come to the second moment on this list involving Kacchan, and already there is a pattern emerging here: namely, that these moments of conflict and then reconciliation between the two of them inevitably end up being some of the most pivotal moments in the series. this particular scene comes on the heels of their battle in All Might’s first hero class, during which Deku soundly defeats Bakugou and makes it clear beyond all doubt that HE IS HERE!! and not going anywhere and Bakugou is just going to have to deal. Bakugou does a very poor job of dealing, however, and spends the rest of the afternoon super-quiet and caught up in his inferiority complex and convinced that Deku has been hiding this from him their whole childhood just to fuck with him.

most people, when put in a similar situation, would be all “fucking serves you right tbh” and just brush it right off. but Izuku doesn’t. or more accurately, I should say that he can’t. once again he acts on pure instinct when Kacchan’s welfare is involved, and this time it results in him blurting out his biggest secret -- a secret he was sworn to by All Might himself -- simply because he can’t stand to see Kacchan so miserable and he can’t bear the thought of him believing that Izuku really had been tricking him.

this is so extraordinary to me for a number of reasons. first and foremost, because Izuku’s altruism knows absolutely no bounds. he and Kacchan are on possibly the worst terms any two people could be on. he has absolutely no obligation to tell him this. but he does, anyway! just to make him feel better! second, there’s the fact that he doesn’t intend to do it, but it just comes blurting out. Izuku’s feelings toward Kacchan are complicated, as we know. and yet whatever the reason may be, Izuku demonstrates again and again that it’s a relationship he wants to hold onto, and he does his best to protect and preserve what little pieces of it he can. 

and lastly, this is now the second example of what will become a well-established theme in the series of Izuku going out of his way to save Katsuki. he does this again and again. he tries to help him after he falls from the log bridge. he rushes to save him from the sludge monster. he tells him about his quirk. he nearly fails their final exam because he goes back for him after All Might knocks him out. he runs into a forest full of villains to try and save him in spite of having two broken arms. he goes to Kamino with Kirishima and the others knowing full well it could get him expelled. and he fights him at night in Ground Beta even though they get into trouble for it later, because he sees how much pain Katsuki is in and he can’t turn his back on him. 

over and over again he puts himself in harm’s way for Katsuki’s sake, fully expecting no gratification to ever come from it, but doing it anyway. because he’s a hero, and because heroes don’t ask whether or not someone deserves to be saved. they just save them. this to me is the most incredible aspect of Izuku’s character. his heart is just that big. he is exceptionally, impossibly selfless and forgiving and good. and that’s just who he is. and Bakugou is lucky enough to be on the receiving end of that, whether he likes it or not, and ultimately over the course of these repeated encounters, he ends up changing for the better himself. and this moment in particular will, eventually, lead to the two of them actually reconciling for realsies when Bakugou finally figures it out and is subsequently inducted into the OFA Scooby Squad of Destiny. so yeah. this scene is so fucking important I can’t even begin. god I really went off on a tangent there. anyways.

4. “And Todoroki... isn’t you!”

so here’s another battle which highlights Izuku’s willingness to go to absurd and horrifying lengths to sacrifice himself for the sake of others. this entire fight is nothing short of ridiculous. Deku is ridiculous. let me break it down for you. Todoroki comes up to Deku before this fight and is all “hey I made a vow to never use my left side in battle because my dad only had me to use me as a tool to defeat All Might and he basically ruined my life.” in response, Deku says he’s aiming to become the strongest hero and so he’ll definitely win. he then proceeds to break his own fingers to blast Todoroki with repeated OFA attacks, all the while screaming at him that everyone is going all out and doing their best, and it’s arrogant and disrespectful of Todo to think he can beat their determination with only half of his power. 

Deku has absolutely zero regard for his own well-being in this fight -- by the end of the battle his bones are in splinters -- and his teachers observe that even if he does win, he won’t be in any kind of shape to move on to the next match. basically, he throws aside all of his own ambitions and even his own sense of self-preservation (if he even has one; it’s honestly debatable at this point you guys), all for the sole purpose of helping Todoroki realize that his power is his own and not his father’s, and to break free of the revenge-tinted tunnel vision keeping him from following his own dreams. the whole thing leaves Todoroki awestruck, and even though Deku eventually loses the fight, he gains a friend for life, and Todo fans everywhere are in his debt. 

real fucked up what he did to his fingers, though. but it just goes to show that nobody is perfect.

5. “I’m here to save you, Iida!”

I freaking love this moment you guys, and I can’t even explain why. except that who doesn’t love a good old-fashioned last-minute shounen save? Iida is seconds away from meeting his death at the hands of the world’s most annoyingly long-winded Ninjas Turtles cosplayer when Deku drops in out of nowhere and just socks the guy square in the jaw. it is satisfying as fuck. honestly that would have been awesome enough, but what makes it even better is that Horikoshi goes into some detail to explain that Deku didn’t just coincidentally happen to find Iida at the exact crucial moment, but actually used his Big Hero Brain to deduce Iida’s location through a series of shrewd observations and insightful hunches. and he turns out to be bang on the money, and that moment where Stain is reeling from the punch and Iida is looking up at him like, “Midoriya?!” and Deku sticks the landing in slow motion and says “Bingo!” in fucking English is just so fucking badass, guys. not to mention that this is also the debut of his Shoot Style on top of everything else. to sum up, this is one of the best entrances in the entire series, and just one of the coolest things Deku has ever done, IMO. you’re cool, Deku.

6. “You clocked me with all of your heart.”

yeah so you may at this point be sensing a pattern with some of these moments. yet again Deku does something stupid and risky because he sees Kacchan in trouble and all logic and reason immediately fly out the window. in this case it’s even more ridiculous, because Katsuki is not actually in any real danger at all, and by going back for him Izuku completely loses sight of what Katsuki got himself all beat up for in the first place. and yet he does it anyway! again! without thinking! like, he makes it maybe two steps away, and then he overhears Kacchan’s teary-eyed overdramatic and determined speech, and he immediately goes “oh fuck this I can’t do this” and turns back and grins maniacally at All Might before soundly punching the shit out of him. it is complete nonsense. there is no reason for it. Katsuki himself is furious when he finds out about it later. but does Deku care?? no, he does not care. and do I? no I do not because it’s the best and I love it.

7. “Let’s do our best, okay?”

this scene is feels city you guys. feels o’clock. zero dark feels. I almost put the “you’re next” scene here instead, but in the end this scene won out because (1) hug!! and (2) this is really the continuation of all of those emotions anyway, and it’s where the catharsis is at.

so let’s break this down since there’s a ton going on here. Deku is wrestling with the grief of knowing that All Might the hero, the Symbol of Peace, is gone forever. the pillar he and the rest of the world relied on to always be there isn’t there, any more. that sense of security is gone. and that’s a hard enough thing to come to grips with on its own, but put it together with the knowledge that he is the one who needs to step up now and fill those shoes, before he ever expected to, before he’s ready, and I can only begin to imagine how overwhelmed he must feel. and then on top of that!! All Might tells him he’s proud of him and relieved that he made it out of Kamino unharmed! and he tells him that he’s going to be there for him and that they’ll face the challenges up ahead together.

so for poor Deku, when you put that all together, we’ve got (a) that sense of loss, (b) fear and anxiety over the unknown difficulties to come, (c) various imposter syndrome feelings that he might not be good enough to handle it, (d) whatever misplaced guilt he may be dealing with for being one of the reasons All Might lost his power, however inevitable it might have been, and last but not least, (e) the deeply profound and humbling feeling of being loved and supported by the man he loves like a father, and knowing that no matter how scary things get, he won’t have to do this alone. so in spite of everything else, there’s that sense of relief and gratitude there too. he can do this. it will be okay. his dad is there.

all of that emotion, packed in one tearful hug. no wonder the kid is crying his eyes out. I would be too. in fact I did, and have no shame in doing so, and I would do it again. good job Horikoshi.

8. “This fight may very well have been a meaningless one... but...”

motherfucker did I not warn you there would be four different BakuDeku moments in this?? and that’s with me reining myself in too to be quite frank. that’s just how it is. it’s my list!! 

anyway, so I’m not sure whether or not an entire fight counts as a “moment”, but I’m putting it out there anyway because I’m incapable of narrowing this down any more than that. I could have an entire separate list of Top Ten Deku VS Kacchan Part 2 Moments and I’m sure I would still wind up leaving something out. I love all of it. the whole damn thing. it’s such a huge turning point for them both. they finally sort everything out. truth bombs being hurled left and right. it’s so good. agh.

but here are some of Deku’s highlights: (1) immediately shifting from trying to talk Kacchan down to fighting him outright with no hesitation once he realizes what the fight is actually about, (2) despite knowing how Kacchan feels, allowing himself to be just a bit selfish for once and get caught up in his own rival feels and trying to prove his worth as All Might’s successor, (3) complimenting Kacchan in the middle of the fight because of course he does, (4) openly admitting how much he admired Kacchan growing up and that he thought he was amazing, (5) getting so worked up that he loses control for a moment and jumps to 8% in one of the most badass moments of the whole series, (6) acknowledging to himself that even though he really shouldn’t, he kinda digs Kacchan’s rougher “I’LL KILL YOU, ASSHOLE” side anyway and emulates it without thinking when he forgets himself and that Kacchan is his image of victory, and lastly, (7) being a sneaky bastard and throwing a punch in with his shoot style knowing full well it will catch Kacchan off guard, which it fucking does.

Deku goes hog wild in this fight. he has a grand old time and even manages to achieve a new power-up, because he and Kacchan always do manage to bring out the best in each other, when they’re not bringing out the worst. you can’t watch this fight and fail to notice how insanely fired up Deku is compared to his usual fights. he is into it. he is ready and willing to throw down. he is here to kick ass and take names!! this is the impact Kacchan has on him. thirty fucking seconds into his therapy fight and Deku's maximum power output has increased by a whopping 60%. holy shit. mad lads.

it’s something not lost on All Might, who wraps things up by patiently explaining to the two of them how much they can learn from each other. and the whole thing concludes with the two of them becoming, as All Might puts it, “proper rivals.” that’s right, their rivalry is now officially approved and sanctioned by the motherfucking Symbol of Peace. well done, boys. these two are going to be absolutely terrifying when they grow up.

***SPOILERS FOR THE MANGA PAST THIS POINT***

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9. “...But you were there.”

okay so I have this indecisive kind of thing going on with whether or not I think All Might is actually going to die, and whether or not I want to see it happen. some weeks, like this particular week, I am on the side of BITCH DON’T YOU DARE because everything is goddamn sad enough as it is, Horikoshi, and I don’t need any more reasons to lie awake at night crying over fictional characters! but then there are other days when I think about how devastatingly, breathtakingly heartbreaking it would be, and for some reason I think, shit, yeah, he’s gotta do it. go ahead and hurt us good. make us feel things. leave no survivors. just fucking wreck our shit, go on ahead.

but then I read this scene again and think, there’s something so incredibly powerful about the fact that All Might started out the series believing he was going to die and being resigned to that fate and making preparations for it, only to be completely blindsided by the love he has for this boy and what that ends up doing to him. his love for Izuku gives him the strength to fight against fate. it gives him the resolve to look the grim reaper in the eye and say “to hell with this, I’m going to live.” it’s his reason to keep going. it’s his purpose. and god but that’s some powerful shit. characters saying “fuck you” to destiny? I am weak as hell for that, hell yes give me more. give me all of that.

and then Deku in this scene. pleading with All Might to keep living. “you have to live to see that moment, when I can tell the world, ‘I am here!’” promising him that no matter what happens, when the time comes, they’ll bend fate together. “without fail.” and just, holy fuck. when he says it, you really believe they can do it. because if anyone can figure out a way to conquer the inevitable, it’s this kid.

10. “Senpai... if I said that I would give you my quirk, would you...?”

last but not least, today just happens to be Mirio’s birthday as well, so it only seems fitting to end with this moment, which in the span of a single page neatly sums up why both of these kids are worthy beyond a doubt of being the next Symbol of Peace. Deku selflessly tries to offer Mirio his quirk, and Mirio instantly rejects him. doesn’t even know what’s going on, really, but just rejects the offer out of hand. “no thanks. then you would be the one subjected to this hardship.” and we can’t very well fucking have that, now can we. nope. not on Mirio’s watch. never mind that he just lost his quirk and his mentor within the span of the past twenty four hours. he wastes no time in coming to Deku’s aid in spite of that, assuring him that he did great and that everything will be just fine. so just smile already!!

but the fact that Deku was even willing to make the offer just once again goes to show how astonishingly good he is. he knows better than anyone what it’s like to be quirkless and powerless. he knows exactly what Mirio is going through. what’s more, Mirio is absolutely right that Deku did fucking amazing and totally saved the day and without him they would have all been screwed! but all Deku can see in this moment is how deserving Mirio is, and so he decides that in order to help him, he’s prepared to make what for him is the ultimate sacrifice. the power that All Might gave him. his dream of becoming the greatest hero. everything he’s worked for up to this point. he’s prepared to throw all of that away if Mirio just says the word. there truly isn’t a selfish bone in this kid’s body.

but Mirio says no. because Mirio is also selfless. in conclusion we had just better hope the two of them never wind up reaching a door together at the same time, because the ensuing battle of who holds it open for whom could singlehandedly bring this series to a dead halt. the ultimate stalemate. they are too good and we don’t deserve them.

so anyways, that’s it! happy birthday kid. and here’s one more for the road.

11. “Dear Midoriya...”

a story in three acts. character development. growth. god bless.

[disasterdeacy]

Taking Care of Business

A/N: this isn’t the best thing I’ve ever written, but it’s a THING, so ENJOY! This is loosely based on a request I received from @toomuchlove-willkillyou who requested bondage with Sub!Bri.. I hope you like it doll!! Pairing: Present Day!Brian May x Young!Reader Word Count: 1.7k (not too bad but still short in my mind Summary: Brian misbehaves during dinner, forcing Y/N’s hand once they arrive home.. Warnings: pwop, 18+, age gap, sub!bri, hints of mommy kink, could be read w NIMWD and SDOD, lube is important, plz use lotion after bondage plz think of the skin

You couldn't believe the sheer level of excitement coursing through your body as you gazed down at the mess Brian had made on himself. His cock was still twitching, cum leaking from the slit at the tip of his blood red head. White hot cum covered his belly and chest, sticking to the fine hairs that lined his body, just tempting you to lick it up, to not waste a single drop of the delicious liquid..

But, you couldn't, you had to be strong, had to show him that you were in charge, that his actions had consequences, that he just couldn't trail those gorgeously calloused fingers up your thighs in the middle of dinner with Rog and Sarina.. that he couldn't trail those fingers over your naked cunt before the soup course had been served.. he had to learn his lesson.

That's why you were sat between his restrained legs, a bottle of lube and clear fleshlight in your hands, pupils blown with lust as you watch your husband of 4 months bucking against the vibrating prostate stimulator you'd inserted into him almost as soon as you'd gotten home, pressing him against the front door as soon as it'd shut, smirking when you'd felt just how fucking hard he was.

God, you could feel him throbbing through the fabric of his nice black trousers, and you were certain that if he'd not been in black, you would be able to see a rather obvious dark spot right in the front.. He'd begged you for it, for you to punish him, make him scream for you to stop, to make him cum as many times as he could.. so that's exactly what you were working on.

"Oh Bri, you look so fucking gorgeous like this honey.. all tied up and begging for me to make you cum again."

You leaned down, licking a hot stripe along the inside of his thigh, laughing loudly when his hips buck up, his arms straining against the restraints keeping him from touching you.. god, you really hoped he wasn't going to have bruises the next day.. that would be difficult to explain to people.

"P-please Y/N! I-I don't think I can take anymore.. I-I'm s-so sensitive."

Oh and he was, his cock was absolutely throbbing, even after the earth shattering orgasm that your mouth had just brought him to. But it was perfect for what you had planned for him.  Sitting back up, you pour a generous amount of lube into your hands, rubbing them together to warm the liquid.. You wanted him to be punished, but you weren't  a fucking sadist.

“Shut your mouth pretty boy, and let mommy take care of your quivering little cock.. it's honestly pathetic how hard you are for me right now, just leaking all over yourself, making a mess.. if it wasn't for how fucking hot you look underneath me right now, I'd just leave you here all night."

You quickly wrap your lubed up hands to his cock, squeezing tightly around him, moaning just a bit when Brian almost comes of the bed, the head and footboard  groaning in protest against the force of his jerking against the restraints.

"No sir! You calm your ass down right not or I won't touch you for a week.."

It was just a thinly veiled threat, you knew that you couldn't stay away from him for more than 3 hours, much less 1 week.. but, it did the trick and Brian merely whimpered loudly, settling back down, his white curls frizzy against the robins egg blue sheets.  He looked like a goddamn angel, and you get like a succubus, your only purpose for existing to make the man underneath you fall into a world of pleasure and pain.

Continuing your ministrations on his cock with one hand, you reach over and grab the clear fleshlight, a personal favorite of yours to use on Bri.

He had said that it felt as close to your cunt as he could get, that it clenched him like a vice and could make him cum all over himself in less than 2 minutes.. something you wanted to test right now. Releasing his cock, you lean over him completely, pressing a sweet reassuring kiss to his lips, nuzzling his nose just a little.

The two of you could be rough, but you always made sure to comfort the other, to let them know that you loved them and would take care of them. Brian kisses you back just as gently, sighing into the action, just so grateful for you, to have you make him feel good physically and emotionally. His lips are still attached to yours when he feels you slip the fleshlight over his sensitive cock, his mouth opening wide in shock and a mixture of pain and pleasure.

"F-fuck! Y-Y/N! S-so.. fuck!"

You smirk against his lips, twisting your wrist to enhance the friction against his cock, the fleshlight moving along with you, twisting against his cock. His face was screwed up in pain, his poor cock was already so raw and sensitive, but he loved it, he loved how good it hurt. Loved how you knew just how to fuck him to make him a quivering mess.. and you didn't even have to use any part of your body to make it happen. You just had that level of power over him...

"Have you learned your lesson baby? Are you gonna be a naughty little boy anymore? Gonna try and finger mommy under the table of a goddamn Michelin Star restaurant anymore baby boy?"

Your lips were now sucking marks onto his neck, teeth scraping the sensitive skin as your hand sped up to almost lightning fast speeds, the fleshlight making purely obscene noises as you fucked him relentlessly, twisting your hand as you pulled upwards on him. The whimpers and moans coming from his mouth were enough to make your mouth water, and you knew that he was close.

"M-mummy.. p-please! It hurts so good mummy, I-I'm sorry I wa-was so naughty tonight.. I-I won't d-do it again! I promise! P-please!"

You could feel his pulse racing under your tongue, his heart almost beating out of his chest when you move your free hand up to his chest, taking his left nipple in between your index finger and thumb, squeezing down on the sensitive little bud just as his cock explodes, cum coating your hand as he screams. You're desperately thankful that you don't have any neighbors, that you aren't living in that little flat that he'd moved in with you in when he and Anita divorced.. here, he could be as loud as he wanted, and you loved it.

"That's it baby boy, just let go, let it out honey."

Your lips were now pressing soft and gentle kisses to his neck, up his jaw, and onto his cheeks, kissing away the tears that had fallen form his eyes. His whole body was shaking as you lifted the flesh light off of him, gently cradling his softening cock in your hands before lying it down on on his belly. He'd made an even bigger mess than before, so after placing a single kiss to his forehead, your scurry off the bed and into the en-suite bathroom, wetting a rag with warm water before returning to clean your husband up.

He was still tied to the bed as you cleaned him, humming a soft song to him as you did so, taking extra care to be gentle with his cock.. god, it was so red and raw, you almost felt bad.. but then you remembered how much he enjoyed it, how much happiness and pleasure he got from you doing this to him, and you didn't feel so bad anymore.

"You did so good tonight Bri.. I'm so proud of you for being so sweet and listening to me."

You've just finished cleaning him up when you speak, depositing the rag in the hamper in the corner before coming back to untie him, starting with his quaking legs before gently undoing the restraints that held his arms, smiling sweetly when he legs out a sigh of relief, a smile playing on his on features. You smile back down at him, placing a kiss to his lips as you rub lotion on the raw skin of his wrists, not wanting to cause him anymore pain than you already have.

"I'm sorry I was so bad at dinner tonight love... I just.."

He's sheepish, his head ducking into the pillows beside him as you crawl into the bed, your arms going around his shoulders, pulling him flush against you. You chuckle a little at his unfinished sentence, knowing exactly why he had been so bad.

"You wants me to punish you didn't you baby?"

He doesn't respond right away, just buries his face into your neck, his white curls tickling your neck and chin, causing you to laugh.

"It's okay pretty boy, you don't have to be embarrassed about it.. if you want me to punish you, all you have to do is ask.. not shove your fingers up my dress in the middle of dinner.."

You're teasing him, your fingers dancing over his sides as he legs out a breathy laugh, wrapping himself into you tighter.

"I know love, I just wanted to be really REALLY bad for you.. I know how much you like it when I squirm."

He places a kiss to your décolletage, sleep starting to wash over him, a yawn taking over. His cock was absolutely rubbed raw and he could barely think straight, he needed sleep almost as badly as he needed you to help him fall asleep. Sensing his sleepiness, you place a little kiss to his hair, running your fingers through his iconic curls before you settle in yourself, turning off the lamp beside you before lying on your back, allowing Brian to curl into your side completely, his face pressed firmly into your breasts.

He was dead asleep before you could even bring the covers over you, soft snores falling from his parted lips.

"Get some rest baby.. I love you."

Despite his state of consciousness, he somehow manages to moan out what sounds like an 'I love you too', before returning to his snores.

Tags: @meddows-taylors @goodoldfashioned-rogerboy @leah-halliwell92 @stephydearestxo @unofficialbillnye @glasgowkisschelseasmile @brianmayoucease @im-just-a-musical-prostitute @danamaleksworld

[showmetruecolors]

Being a nurse during the COVID-19 Era.

I was a nursing student during the Ebola crisis where they taught us how to suit up and doff properly without being contaminated. It so happens that the hospital I was interning in at the time was planned to be the hospital in NY State that would take on the first Ebola case if it were ever to hit our state. They made it clear that if the case were to come to the hospital, the student nurses were to not even be on the same unit, and that they would move us. However, in cases of lack of assistance, they would need us to know how to properly enter and exit the room with the hazmat suit without providing contamination to ourselves and the environment. 

I have also been a nurse the past almost four years during crazy and erratic flu hits. I have seen flu kill the terminally ill and the elderly. I have also seen the flu hit my coworkers pretty bad as a result of working in health care. Working overnights in a section of the emergency room, we always have flu patients and we are always prepared to a certain extent, how it would affect our patient once getting report.

But not with COVID.

As of two Saturdays ago, I am currently a part of one of the designated groups of nurses for COVID-19 for my hospital. I am on the float pool and they started by emptying out one of our main units to reserve them for COVID-19 rule-outs and positive patients. (Obviously the expansion of designated COVID units grew over a week...) There are cameras watching us every time we enter and exit a room and put on and off our PPE gown. With that, staff must sign (pretty much their life away) each time they enter or exit the room, by providing contact info, DOB, who watched us and their info, etc. This includes staff that also enter to pick up the garbage. Everyone in the hospital had to learn the steps of putting on and taking off the protective equipment. Not just nurses and doctors. At this point, it felt all hospitals were ready to respond to this clientele and the caseload.

At first I was so thrilled to be one of the COVID nurses and to be assigned on one of the COVID units. And then, came the first time another nurse and I actually had to gown up. Each time we gown up in the protective equipment, we must have another nurse on the other side of the glass watch us and check off a checklist of things we are doing. The purpose of this is to also catch any contamination to ourselves or the environment quickly. The first situation of us gowning up, I was actually the observer. Gowning up takes some time so after a few minutes of checking off the checkboxes, watching her, and giving her a thumbs up after every step, then comes the part of the eyewear which then caused me to look up at this nurse’s eyes. She had tears filling up her eyes , something I didn't notice while checking her method of donning her equipment, and her hands were shaking as she was placing the eyewear onto her face. She has a young child at home and she used to tell me about how she is also a caretaker for her parents. I wonder if this is what she was thinking of before entering the room. I heard rustling behind me and I turned around. Two evening administrators were there intensely watching from the distance almost unsure about walking near the door where we must stand to observe.

Later that evening when it was around the 3rd time I had to gown up to go to my own patient’s room, I went in the with PCA so he can assist me with closing the back of my gown as well as him getting comfortable coming in and out of the room per protocol. I looked up halfway through our gowning process, to see staff and admin watching us as well. Everyone had a look of fear in their eyes. I turned to look at the PCA who would not make eye contact and always had a strong demeanor when it came to things like codes, rapids, etc. He looked startled and like he didn’t want to talk about anything. At that moment I realized, we actually don’t know anything about what is behind those isolation doors once we enter. All we know is that it is airborne, we have only SOME information about the viral processes and the human body reaction, and that the human race can only receive oxygen in only three different ways before complete intubation... (Breathing on their own, nasal cannula, and Non-rebreather. The other options would cause viral shedding, leading to worsening of the viral spread and even contamination.) We also knew that each time we gowned up and enter the room, we were able to see facts and theories in front of us and assist us in understanding the virus more and how to manage based on other EBP methods from past, and new methods. Which made the situation SO interesting.

On my second shift being one of the COVID nurses, we learned more about the virus. And one thing was confirmed about my previous shift, and it was that the beliefs even among staff/the hospital and community members about what it all is, varied...

We started learning that after a couple of days of confirmed testing, people were coding. There seemed to be a peak time that the virus was causing severe respiratory failure and a systemic failure response and our managers told us that this was an ongoing and similar experience with other hospitals that they have collaborated with when discussing support during emergency responses. Days later, a nationally recognized public health organization actually published a report online that showed the timeline graph of peak levels during viral process and that proved the theory to possibly be correct. After a certain amount of days, almost regardless of intervention, certain people were rapidly deteriorating.

I walked into shift that day briefly assisting my colleagues in a code. Although this person had several cofounding factors that would've made even the basic flu difficult for the person to overcome, it was scary to see. Next thing you know a staff member’s gown had ripped in the process of helping the patient. Some staff were actually nervous for her. She followed proper decontamination protocol but it was still the fear of the unknown that is controlling everyone that is causing complete mayhem and chaos.

It is also the lack of supplies causing unreal scenarios....I took complete pride in the fact that my team would be some of the first COVID nurses , until I realized we didn't even have enough n95 respirators...that we were reusing products...(Which almost puts us at risk for contamination of ourselves and our environment and loved ones) we also don’t have enough face shields or goggles. So we are reusing them every shift. We can blame politicians or our actual health care orgs or whomever you feel is responsible when it came to emergency prepardness and allocation of funds. But all I know is that I am, as well as other staff, are becoming more and more at risk every shift as well as at risk when community members can't follow basic instructions and educate themselves with resources that are actually not factual. Which brings me to my next thanggg - When I see families out in the super market using gloves and masks, I get angry.

1. The masks you see people wearing are not n95 respirators so you will catch corona and even TB regardless. Jokes on you, folks.

2. Gloves? Are you serious? You think that will protect you? Each time you pick up an item wearing gloves and touch your face/fix your hair (which is what I actually saw the other day) you’re not protecting yourself. That glove is now contaminated regardless, and unless you’re bleaching the shit out of the products you are buying before placing them in your vehicle or bag, they are holding onto whatever the environment has, as well. Contaminated or not.

3. I understand the fear of the city/stores closing down so you must stock up on essentials and food. However, you are now defeating the purpose of preventing viral spread and you’re causing large groups in one tight area to take place. (Shoutout and much love to grocery store / restaurant employees, etc.) It’s to the point where I am less of a threat if I walk into a patient’s room with symptoms of COVID and then run over and cough on and hug 100 people, than those who have been at Walmart or the grocery store everyday this week spending a long amount of time getting items. I understand the need to have essentials, and that online services may be more expensive, but at times like these, they may be worth it especially if you or someone you are at home with is compromised in some way. This also, by the way, helps with the job industry including forcing one to have more self-awareness with WIC covered products and can assist in monitoring that they are not taken off of shelves and into carts out of pure human PANIC as opposed to other replacement products.

4. This happening does not give you the excuse to blame a certain group of people. If you do not know what corona is (and by going to CVS the other day to pick up my acid reflux meds and hearing chatter about it at my second job by non-medical personnel , I realize this is the case) then you need to shut the fuck up and not be an inherently racist prick. The end. No excuses.

Do not panic. BUT. Stay home once all your essentials are brought together. I know that during these times, there may be job and financial hardships, loved ones you are concerned about, and some children’s/college students’ education is on the line and being effected as a result (as is mine...), and that there is fear due to the unknown contamination of the virus and due to the different directions in leadership and advices. But please try to stay calm. And stay home. Staying home is the only thing you have control of at this moment, that can eventually help restore everything going on. The more you stay home, the more you’re helping ease the situation/exposures which can eventually lead to the life we were living before where you can work, go to school, etc. And since you will all have time now, educate yourself on the spread of Corona and understand WHAT it even is. One of the leading issues seems to be that no one was properly educated on it, causing the reaction everyone is having which is putting more people in danger and hospitals in complete stress and OVER the capacity to diligently care for patients that have the virus, among with other serious illnesses.

Flatten the mother fucking curve.

Love,

Emily RN

[akingcalworld]

My Top 10 Films Of 2018

Before I start, I need to mention that there are few films I haven’t yet seen that I may have left out. Or have not been released yet in the UK so will need to wait to wait for those gems. This year has been filled with so many amazing movies. Its actually so hard to make a top 10 list. One of my entries will be released next year, but I luckily got the chance to see it in the cinema as a early release. First of all I am going to put my short list and then my TOP 10 LIST. HERE WE GO.

Game Night

Red Sparrow

Ready Player One

Love Simon

Avengers Infinity war

Blockers

Solo 

American Animals

The Incredibles 2

Hereditary 

Christopher Robin

BlackKkKlansman

Searching

The Predator

Venom

A Star Is Born

Halloween 

The Hate you give

Bohemian Rhapsody 

Overlord

FBAWTFT: The Crimes of Grindlewald

Ralph Breaks The Internet 

Green Book

10) A Star Is Born

This movie is a tragic story. It is fueled with incredible highs. Great songs and a really touching story that should be seen by everyone. 

9) Ready Player One

A look into the future. Steven Spielberg future classic. Loved every second of this absolute thrill ride.

8) Red Sparrow

Prima ballerina Dominika Egorova faces a bleak and uncertain future after she suffers an injury that ends her career. She soon turns to Sparrow School, a secret intelligence service that trains exceptional young people to use their minds and bodies as weapons. Egorova emerges as the most dangerous Sparrow after completing the sadistic training process. As she comes to terms with her new abilities, Dominika meets a CIA agent who tries to convince her that he is the only person she can trust.

7) American Animals

Spencer Reinhard, Warren Lipka, Eric Borsuk and Chas Allen are four friends who live an ordinary existence in Kentucky. After a visit to Transylvania University, Lipka comes up with the idea to steal the rarest and most valuable books from the school's library. As one of the most audacious art heists in U.S. history starts to unfold, the men question whether their attempts to inject excitement and purpose into their lives are simply misguided attempts at achieving the American dream.

6) Ralph Breaks The Internet

Video game bad guy Ralph and fellow misfit Vanellope von Schweetz must risk it all by traveling to the World Wide Web in search of a replacement part to save Vanellope's video game, "Sugar Rush." In way over their heads, Ralph and Vanellope rely on the citizens of the internet -- the netizens -- to help navigate their way, including an entrepreneur named Yesss, who is the head algorithm and the heart and soul of trend-making site BuzzzTube.

5) The Crimes Of Grindelwald

In an effort to thwart Grindelwald's plans of raising pure-blood wizards to rule over all non-magical beings, Albus Dumbledore enlists his former student Newt Scamander, who agrees to help, unaware of the dangers that lie ahead. Lines are drawn as love and loyalty are tested, even among the truest friends and family, in an increasingly divided wizarding world.

4) Venom

Journalist Eddie Brock is trying to take down Carlton Drake, the notorious and brilliant founder of the Life Foundation. While investigating one of Drake's experiments, Eddie's body merges with the alien Venom -- leaving him with superhuman strength and power. Twisted, dark and fueled by rage, Venom tries to control the new and dangerous abilities that Eddie finds so intoxicating.

3) Love, Simon

Everyone deserves a great love story, but for 17-year-old Simon Spier, it's a little more complicated. He hasn't told his family or friends that he's gay, and he doesn't know the identity of the anonymous classmate that he's fallen for online. Resolving both issues proves hilarious, terrifying and life-changing.

2) Green Book

Dr. Don Shirley is a world-class African-American pianist who's about to embark on a concert tour in the Deep South in 1962. In need of a driver and protection, Shirley recruits Tony Lip, a tough-talking bouncer from an Italian-American neighborhood in the Bronx. Despite their differences, the two men soon develop an unexpected bond while confronting racism and danger in an era of segregation.

1) Bohemian Rhapsody

Bohemian Rhapsody is a foot-stomping celebration of Queen, their music and their extraordinary lead singer Freddie Mercury. Freddie defied stereotypes and shattered convention to become one of the most beloved entertainers on the planet. The film traces the meteoric rise of the band through their iconic songs and revolutionary sound. They reach unparalleled success, but in an unexpected turn Freddie, surrounded by darker influences, shuns Queen in pursuit of his solo career. Having suffered greatly without the collaboration of Queen, Freddie manages to reunite with his bandmates just in time for Live Aid. While bravely facing a recent AIDS diagnosis, Freddie leads the band in one of the greatest performances in the history of rock music. Queen cements a legacy that continues to inspire outsiders, dreamers and music lovers to this day.

There we have it. My top 10 list. All of the above films are stunning but some are just better than others. Thank you for taking the time to read this! Roll on next year.

[yogaadvise]

An Anatomical Breakdown Of Utthita Hasta Padangusthasana

If there is one pose that I view beginning Ashtanga trainees hurry with, it's this. Why do so lots of pupils have the need to get this one over with so swiftly? Due to the fact that it's tough! Early, this position takes a great deal of initiative in both legs while harmonizing. It tests our ability to maintain our center of mass over our foot while moving our leg around. This is difficult, yet possibly really useful work. It comes early in the primary series, this is a difficult pose which might take some time to evolve.

Anatomy of utthita hasta padangusthasana

There are three different components to this position. In all 3 components we are balancing on one leg and changing the place of the other leg and also the torso. In the initial part, we are lifting one leg towards our upper body while at the exact same time folding toward the leg that is raised. In the 2nd part, we are abducting the hip joint to enable one leg to get to out away while taking our gaze over the opposite shoulder. In the third part we are holding one boost precede while looking ahead with our hands on our waist.

Part one: lifted leg ahead and also onward folding

In the initial component, we are challenged by the standing split element of this pose. We don't frequently consider it like a split since we're standing up, however it is. What makes this component particularly complicated is that both sides of the hips are essentially being asked to relocate 2 various instructions.

On the standing leg, the hip flexors have to be open enough to allow the practitioner to bring the upper body to an upright standing position while keeping the foot in a steady setting on the flooring. There are hip flexors that go across simply the hip joint and there is one quadricep, referred to as rectus femoris, which goes across both the knee and also the hip joint. The activity of the hip flexors is antagonizing the various other side of the pelvis which is trying to move in the contrary instructions, while battling our old good friend the hamstrings. Relying on just how open one or both of these are, you will certainly see various effects.

If the hamstrings are a lot more open than the hip flexors, you will often see that the leg raises high, however the practitioner has a tough time keeping the standing leg straight. If the reverse holds true, well, the contrary happens. The standing knee may be directly, however the hamstrings don't permit the raised leg to go so high.

Both of these situations are aggravated by the upper body folding toward the standing leg, as we would certainly do in a more normal onward bend. Yet, in a more regular forward bend, we are just antagonizing the resistance of the hamstrings. The dynamic activities of the hips, basically trying to turn in different instructions, is not the only thing that includes to the challenge of this stance. In this position, we're attempting to do every one of that while balancing!

Even the balancing facet of the standing leg can play right into this pattern. Keep In Mind (Ha!) from my publication Functional Anatomy of Yoga that I explain how the deeper gluteals (gluteus minimus and also gluteus medius) stabilize the hip joint when we are strolling, running, and also harmonizing. When the deep gluteals are discharged up on one side of our hips to keep the security at that hip joint, they can likewise stabilize the pelvis so a lot that it makes it tough for the hips to adapt to the opposing activity of the opposite side of the pelvis that I have actually already mentioned.

Part two: taking the lifted leg bent on the side

In this following component of the posture we need to turn the leg bent on the side. You could argue concerning what the name for this activity is. I accept what we would certainly call this if it were taking place in the shoulder joint, which is horizontal kidnapping. If it were pure abduction, we would certainly have raised the leg bent on the side from an equivalent standing pose (tadasana/samasthiti). However the leg is already bent, so the abduction is taking place horizontally.

The pelvis gets associated with this movement in a number of ways, possibly. The basic demand is that the center of mass, which is situated at the facility of the hips (essentially), requires to continue to be over the foot. This represents the line of gravity, or you can claim the pelvis and also foot are counterbalanced about the line of gravity.

Depending on the student and their tensional pattern, we will see different effects. In one usual version of this position, the hips tilts sideways, with the lifted-leg-side of the pelvis climbing over the opposite. This variation is practically an activity of the hip joint of the standing leg as well as not really an activity of the leg that is swinging bent on the side. The hips and the raised leg step with each other around the various other hip joint. This is a much more technological kidnapping of the hip joint. The only distinction is that when defining kidnapping, we usually define the leg swinging out to the side, instead of the pelvis relocating away from the leg.

There are 2 other versions of this part of the posture that we could see, relying on the pupil and their certain tensional pattern. Both of these versions include a turning that takes place at the leg that is turning out. Beginning trainees, particularly those with tight adductors, will sometimes inside turn the leg at the hip joint as it turns out to the side. It's not that they are planning this to take place, yet rather that their body is demanding it based on the tensional patterns that currently exist. You may see a link between this occurring and a previous stance, utthita parsvakonasana or side angle pose where the knee of the front leg has a difficult time getting straightened with the foot and falls in.

In the 3rd version of this component of utthita hasta padangusthasana, we might see the hip go in the various other direction of rotation. In this case, as the legs swings out, the hip joint does an outside turning while also doing its horizontal abduction. This is my individual choice for strategy, which we'll speak about more later.

Part three: holding the raised leg in front

In the final component of utthita hasta padangusthasana we are asked to hold the leg up before our body. That's a relatively easy thing to do! The composition at the hips is not so different from what we explained partially one. However, we are not folding ahead, neither are we trying to raise our leg more than it can go under its own strength.

The hip joint itself is being stood up primarily by the iliopsoas muscular tissue. By itself, this is an extremely solid muscular tissue that, in a sense, has no real difficulty holding up the leg, also as exhausted as that leg might be by the time you reach this component of the position. Actually, it's the dynamics of keeping the leg straight at the knee joint, while also holding it up at the hip joint, that include in the limitless fun located in this posture.

Once you try to correct that knee, you are now lengthening both ends of the hamstrings. Simply put, you're not simply extending them at the hip joint, however likewise at the knee end. Naturally iliopsoas will certainly not work alone as well as when you utilize the quadriceps to both straighten the knee as well as help the psoas maintain the leg up, well, it increases the enjoyable. It shouldn't be underrated just how challenging it is to maintain the knee directly as well as raise the leg if you have limited hamstrings. The quadriceps get tired more swiftly, as they do not have the support of the leg/foot getting on the ground as well as gravity to aid extend the hamstrings. Nope, it's pure muscular tissue toughness of the quadriceps as they function straight against the tension in the hamstrings.

It is entirely possible to begin to really feel the quadriceps, particularly the rectus femoris, begin to constrain while doing this part of the posture. If that is the situation, you would feel this just under the bump on the front of the hips also referred to as the ASIS. You may also feel it generally down the centerline of the quadriceps. For some pupils who have legs that have a tendency to externally turn, they might feel constraining more on the side and really top of the hips. In that instance, that is the tensor fasciae latae (TFL). Remember, your body is naturally mosting likely to attempt to prevent the stress from the hamstrings. The most convenient method for the body to prevent that tension is to on the surface revolve the leg. Recognizing that the leg is expected to be directly, we naturally combat this propensity by a little internally rotating the hip joint as well as activating the TFL.

This extra amount of internal rotation can trigger an ache in the TFL. It's not to claim that your quadricep can not cramp as well. Yet, when you feel that constrain up high on your hip, just off to the side slightly, you can bet it's your TFL functioning overtime.

Intentions for utthita hasta padangusthasana

There are a blend of purposes in utthita hasta padangusthasana. The evident purpose is extending the hamstrings as well as considering the stance as an onward bending stance. Since we're standing, building stamina to do the job of extending the hamstrings includes in the complexity and also difficulty. You have to work the size and the strength while creating proprioception and balancing!

Working the technique

The characteristics in between the standing and the lifted leg

As we went over in the composition area, you have a resistance of instructions (standing leg in extension and also lifted leg in flexion) in both legs that intensifies the level of trouble, as well as the nature of the forward bend facet of this posture. As an example, in this vibrant, you usually find that the knee of the standing leg intends to bend as you elevate the leg higher. The job of attempting to straighten out that leg really contributes to the quantity of stress placed onto the hamstrings of the leg that's up in the air. Pay focus to the characteristics between the standing leg and also the lifted leg.

What if I can't correct the lifted leg? It may take a while for the hamstrings to open enough to enable both legs to be straight. If you need to flex the knee, then flex the knee. Yet, after you have actually gotten the leg, utilize some small percent of your effort, maybe 20% to straighten the leg a bit. Bear in mind that the hamstrings go across the knee joints in addition to the hip joints. This implies that if you always flex the knees totally, it will certainly change the quantity of stress and the manner in which tension is placed into the hamstrings.

Developing strength

Regarding the intention of developing toughness, we have a number of different ways we can work with this. One is in the standing leg. Toughness is called for to maintain the knee directly that wishes to bend in order to give even more space to the hamstrings of the lifted leg. The stress of the hamstrings in the lifted leg is antagonizing the stamina of the quadriceps and also various other hip flexors of the exact same leg. By maintaining the leg training itself and also maintaining the knee right, there is a significant amount of strength job in this part of the pose.

Techniques for functioning on balance

If I can't lift the leg completely up or keep the leg right, should I still fold ahead? Yes, at the very least have that intent. While there can be some advantage to working just the balance aspect of this pose without the forward layer if you are really tight, component of the job of this posture is finding out just how to move component of your body far from your facility as well as hold it there precede. It might appear obvious, yet if you never ever attempt to ahead fold up, after that you will never onward fold. That said, having the intent of folding onward does not suggest compeling your nose to your shin. If you are really tight, perhaps just a little hinge at the waist and also a pointer of getting to the breast toward the leg is sufficient to start with.

When you begin to take the leg out to the side, bear in mind that you require to counterbalance the weight of the leg that is going out. The method I instruct for those that have difficulty balancing is: one, on the surface rotate the leg that is lifted, as well as 2, allow the hip of the standing leg gradually as well as similarly relocate the opposite direction of the leg that is turning out. In this stage of the pose, you are stabilizing around the line of gravity that is represented with the foot.

When the leg turns out in the 2nd component of this stance I always recommend that we keep the intention in the leg, as well as much more particularly in the hip joint of the leg, as it turns. As a purpose, I suggest that you concentrate on rotating and keeping the activity in this hip joint by not letting the hip of the standing leg action significantly. Without an aware objective to maintain the hip of the standing leg still, it often tends to turn to lift the various other leg higher.

Let's not neglect that all of this is occurring on top of balancing on the standing leg as it attempts to stay as straight as feasible. Balancing is a mix of elements that come together. Essentially, you are educating the proprioception in your body. That is, you are training exactly how your body responds and replies to where you are in room. The obstacles are to deal with this proprioception while having the leg in front of you, folding into it, standing back up, swinging the leg out to the side, and after that searching in the contrary instructions! All of these together are often a challenge for novices as well as even for advanced practitioners.

The development of equilibrium and also enhanced link to your very own proprioception has effects for more sophisticated poses. The even more willful you are concerning collaborating with your very own proprioception, the much more the advancement of this "system" will raise your capability to do more advanced poses, including headstand, handstand, and various other balancing postures.

Variations to explore

When the hips and hamstrings are tight, it can be harder to hold the majority of the body within a line of gravity. The more body weight we move far from our facility and also try to keep in room, the harder this position is. Those with extremely versatile hips and also hamstrings can maintain the moving leg closer to the body, making it much easier to stabilize precede due to the fact that there is less need to stand up to gravity. If you have really tight hamstrings and/or hips, then you could take advantage of discovering some adjustments of this pose.

Just in terms of equilibrium itself, I locate that newbies have a much easier time making 2 basic modifications fully expression of the stance. One, allow the standing leg be bent for a time period. By launching this part, it will certainly enable the body to adjust more quickly due to the fact that there is much less tension around the knee joint. Second, deal with the eyes on a solitary place on the floor before you. Even when you take the leg out to the side, repair the eyes on the floor in front of you. Accumulate your proprioception and after that transform the head as you're expected to.

If you are extremely tight or just starting to deal with this pose, attempt just stabilizing on one foot and holding the knee of the other leg. Notification how it feels. Notice what happens in your foot as well as ankle joint while you balance.

As you get knowledgeable about the sensation of balancing on one foot, you can add the obstacle of getting to for the toe with your hand, or making use of a strap or towel to hold the foot if you can not get to with your hand.

Keep the movements smaller — work within YOUR variety of activity — there's nothing to be obtained by trying to tug your leg around if your hips and hamstrings aren't open enough to allow a huge array of motion yet. Work continually within your variety of activity as well as the posture will develop over time.

Move gradually while breathing and also do not rush! I typically see students who are more recent to this position trying to move extremely quickly, as if they can throw their upper hand and also "capture" a well balanced placement precede. I also frequently see them holding their breath while doing this. You will likely have much better success with the balance if you relocate slowly while really feeling each change precede as you choose the upper hand to balance.

Move with some bending in the knee joints and after that extend and also straighten out when you arrive in your version of the position. It is not necessary to do a professional dancer high kick to bring the boost. Quick jerky movements provide you much less time to look into your body and also see how points are really feeling daily as well as they enhance the possibilities that you'll over-do something because you're moving faster than you can feel your body's reaction to that movement.