#i may or may not clean this up to post on main but lmao its so funny

[sebek-zigbolt]

[vivisols]

Is there a ref for Vanessa in the future stares back? I don’t know if there’s any mention of it, but I keep imagining her with a bunny nose and I think that would be so cute if it’s true!

Also how far are certain attributes for evolved humans? Like you mentioned merfolk have varying looks (scales and no scales as an example), is that the same with skyscrapers (if I remember the name correctly) and rabbitfolk?

How many different types of folk are there? You don’t have to say specific species, but like just a number of the different branches human evolution took would be so fun!

And is there any crossbreeding? Can a merfolk and a skyscraper make a seabird? Flying fish?? Or has their common human ancestry evolved too much to make that a possibility?

If any of these questions are spoiler territory, sorry ^^ I’m just super interested in this world you laid out before us! I love your work so much! I also need to catch up with recent chapters as well so if any of these questions have already been answered in the work itself, sorry!

May you keep having fun writing! As I will always have fun reading! ♥️

WOAHHHHHH IM GIGGLUNG KICKING MY FEET YOU ASKED SO MUCH DJHASDHFASJKD WOAHHHH!!! I LOVE ANSWERING ASKS ABOUT THE LORE YOU ARE LIKE PROVIDING ME A GOURMET MEAL HERE ANON!!!! answers under the cut because I WROTE SO MUCH LMAO

there is INDEED a Vanessa ref, though ive never posted it! she doesn't have her mask here, plus ive been meaning to clean it up and work on it with all the other refs in the main lineup but alas ive. been putting it off LMAO

(ironically she, along with 2 characters who only appear later down the line, are the only refs I actually have finished...)

you can have it here before i. eventually post it as a separate thing with the finished line up! as a treat :3!

i needed to incorporate a vanny motif SOMEhow... and you were right about her having a bunny nose x3c i think she looks so much cuter with it!!!!

you're also right about the attributes! Current humans all look wildly different from each other, even within their own species! though in skyscrapers and rabbitfolk (also known as luprime in universe, but they're more commonly known as rabbitfolk! im impressed with how you guessed it, but then again it was pretty obvious LMAO), their variations in appearance are a bit more subtle than the ones in merfolk

for skyscrapers it's all about the amount of feathers, but they'll always BE feathered. some skyscrapers only have a thin layer of feathers or they'll only have feathers along the underside of their arms, but its extremely rare to not be completely covered in feathers.

for rabbitfolk, it's the amount of fur they have and also their facial structures. particularly the nose! some have more fur than others and some have no fur at all. having a proper bunny nose and much more rabbit like skull is uncommon but not rare! those without just have flat noses instead. vanessa does have fur too, but her jacket covers it up :3

and thats not accounting for various differing body shapes and differences in things like teeth and skeletal structures from within the same species...

there are at least 8 different types of Current human species with 4 distinct branches that human evolution took!

the actual number of Current human species is unknown due to how spread out everyone is now as well as lots of subbranches and variation and nuances within every single species, but at least 8 main ones is the most widely accepted answer. for now ;D!

crossbreeding is both a yes and a no! offspring from, as in your example, a mer and a skyscraper is 100% possible! it would likely adopt traits from both, but end up as mostly one or the other. for example it might have the much larger hands and the same arm structure that a skyscraper does while also having a mer tail! or it might have fins and webbed hands while also having legs!

sadly, having both scales and feathers at once is impossible due to the types of required genetic materials, so they'll either have neither or have the one that whichever side of traits they get more of does (i.e. if they're more skyscraper, they'd get some feathers)

although its certainly 100% possible and has happened before, some species are able to pair better than others. merfolk typically have a hard time with others that aren't also mers no matter what, as theyre VASTLY different from most other Current humans in their biology

anyways that's enough from me on this post LMAO!

anon i hope you know am absolutely THRIVING answering all these lore questions i love talking about worldbuilding and lore i normally dont get to mention in the fic AKSJDASK!! i feel so incredibly flattered that you like my silly little fic this much to ask THIS many questions hahaha akljsdkkalsdjshdf THIS MEANS SO MUCH TO MEEE AAAAA!!!!!!!!

[albertserra]

hi! you don't have to answer this if you don't want to, no worries—but i'm curious what you generally like/dislike about living in DC? i just got a job offer there and it's a big move, so i want to ask around first. i like public transit, if that helps.

this is hard since i feel like something like a place to live is so subjective lmao but ill try

likes

public transit is like. mostly good? i can get pretty much anywhere within the heart of the city that i need to go using the metro, just with some walking added on which i dont mind. I don't use the busses but theyre there and thats whats needed to get around outside the major parts of the city. its also clean. dont expect it to be as fast or convenient as nyc. its more sparse and trains dont run as often. its also much more expensive (trips can be up to $6 based on distance). i like it personally but theres definitely a *lot* of room for improvement. theres constant track work that can interfere with commutes and the replacement shuttles suck a lot of the time.

its a city so like there are gay people. i feel mostly comfortable walking around visibly gnc to a point but ive been heckled and shouted at and whispered about and stared at and laughed at. lowkey sexually harassed once. never anything more direct and nothing physical but thats my personal experience. its way less prevalent/common than in nyc in my experience. keep in mind i have my own reservations about presentation that im still trying to work through so im not always super feminine, dont wear dresses etc, even my heels are usually more tame like boots and stuff. so i dont go through what visibly trans women or more outwardly gnc people likely go through. ive done pda in the city and no one cared.

i like some of the theaters (afi even though its a trek, angelika, theres a landmark but it kinda sucks but the programming is ok sometimes). some of the museums sometimes do really interesting film programming

museums can be cool but this is also very subjective. they can also get old quick.

dislikes

theaters are limited. will never compete with nyc or LA. no real film festival on the level of nyff. if you care about this you *will* miss interesting releases that dont go wide enough to hit dc. I was begging on my hands and knees for Memoria for months until it finally came here for a week. restorations are much less likely to screen here.

its the capital. you will brush shoulders with government employees and lots of military soldiers and employees and whatever. the pentagon literally has a metro stop. i still want to shoot someone when i see a bunch of uniformed navy/army/air force people on my train. people you encounter may actively or passively participate in the various crimes of the state and not blink an eye. obviously not everyone is like this, if the palestine protests are anything to go by there are a bunch of dissenters and leftists etc but like be aware that these people are here. in a similar vein, military contractors are also rampant here.

being the capital the tourists are also a different... flavor... than in other cities ive been in/to. ive seen high school tour groups buying and wearing a bunch of maga hats as edgy post-irony jokes. then theres ofc the very serious hardcore nationalists. shit like that. on a related note. oomf has an israeli journalist (for a right wing publication of course) that regularly comes into his place of work.

its expensive. but my main frame of reference city-wise is nyc and its not nearly on that level (yet).

[tremendouskoalachild]

Star Wars (1977) #01

Roy Thomas, Apr 12 1977

So I decided to reread the 1977 Marvel run of Star Wars comics, as one does. I was probably just going to post a compilation of horrible Luke faces in each issue but then decided to compare some of the lines to the movie and shooting script, and this post happened 🤷‍♀️

Anyway, I might as well talk about the cover, right? I love everything about it. Identifying the genre correctly. The cursed logo (how do you fuck up the letter A. why keep the letters as they appear in the movie if you aren't going to connect them. look at that second R - it has a broken leg for no reason now. why is that W the only sharp edge when its middle is flat in the actual logo).

I love Leia's look and expression. I love how the colors mostly correspond to the movie but Han has a magenta gun and Darth Vader is green. Also the red lightsabers fuck (I assume that color came from early concept art but it may be stylistic or a fuckup I guess). "WILL HE SAVE THE GALAXY - OR DESTROY IT?" damn

also that publication date is off by several months lmao

The second page shows a space battle with the title crawl in several boxes. It is almost word for word the crawl from the fourth draft script (dated march 1976), just with more ALL-CAPS FOR EMPHASIS. The order of paragraphs is also changed. The main difference from the movie version is no mention of Leia. This paragraph also seems to imply a greater rebel threat than subsequent material would show, as well as reference earlier rebel victories:

The narration further on is largely taken from the script too, including referring to droids as robots, which makes sense but is still funny to me. The dialogue calls them droids just like the final film though.

This dialogue also mostly copies the script. One difference from the film I noticed immediately is Threepio mentioning the Captain instead of the Princess - he does not know her in the earlier drafts.

We are also introduced to Luke, who looks... not at all like a teenager and is capable of nimble leaps. This is adapted from the first half of Luke's deleted introduction scene.

Page 4 finally shows us Darth Vader! Look at him go, even stepping outside his panel. Adorably, just like in the fourth draft he is after information tapes, while the final version wisely has him simply look for "plans". He is also referred to as a Dark Lord of the Sith, which while mentioned in the novelization is never said in any of the OT films.

Leia has a beautiful cheesy comic book moment. It's kinda ruined by the next panel reminding us that there are no bras in space (friendly reminder that she is referred to as a "lovely young girl (about sixteen years old)" at this point in the script).

Page 6 follows with the second half of the Tosche Station deleted scene and even keeps Luke almost running over an old woman from the script:

The next page picks up with Leia sassing Vader and plays out much like the film. One interesting tidbit is Vader mentioning that Leia's ship passed through a restricted system, which you could see as an accidental connection to Rogue One's ending.

I also love Vader's sunglasses look and the Hidden Fortress allusion. I do wonder why the imperials seem to think the escape pod is a "repair pod" but that line comes directly from the script as well.

Page 9 adapts yet another deleted scene, where Biggs tells Luke he's joining the Rebellion. (It's a great scene btw. Very gay. Luke's adorable in it.)

The next scene on the Death Star plays out much like in the film. I love Vader randomly fucking with the other imperials by floating a cup. This part is also in the script but not the final movie for some reason :(

Next comes the droid selling scene, quite similar to the finished film. The interesting part happens as Luke is cleaning the droids:

Threepio why are you sitting like that 😳 Hologram Leia is channeling Carrie Fisher's you're my only hoe tweet. Luke has never seen a hologram and is surprised they are 3D. 3PO standing like a terminator in that last panel. I know everyone has been laughing at Luke's faces in these comics for nearly 50 years but this one... is he crosseyed. What happened to his cheeks. Why did his haircut suddenly get worse. I will even forgive that lil Leia is neither movie blue nor "a rainbow of colors" like in the script, these panels are everything to me.

Next we get the dinner scene, where Owen gets quite a bit more heated than in the film:

I would also like to highlight this panel because I find it funny:

"Lar's" doesn't seem to a typo here as it is consistently used in the whole script and only changes to Lars in a later draft. The comic keeps this too:

Sidenote: I guess this comic gives more context to the abusive uncle Owen characterization which I've seen in several pre-prequel fanfics.

The issue ends with Luke getting jumped by a Tusken Raider. The descriptions are once again taken from the script and I very much do not like them.

I haven't really found a definitive source for the claim that the Tuskens were consciously based on the Bedouin but their depiction in Lucas' films definitely rubs me the wrong way regardless.

The last two pages have some behind the scenes info and promote the film. This is also how I learned that the iconic A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away got only added later:

Anyway. Have some more awful Lukes:

[beautifully-lumpy]

the beautiful person's journal - #10: the second channel

here is a google doc for the lost 2nd channel videos i could salvage! i'll be discussing some of these in today's entry.

this google drive folder compiled by my fandom friend and fellow caddicarus veteran @linc-karo-27 includes the ASMR video and the only surviving (to my knowledge) archives of the two 2014 streams that were posted to the second channel. it also includes the may 2019 update video and the failed 2020 GITCY stream.

let's face it: the withdrawal between caddicarus uploads is REAL. we can only rewatch those banger videos so many times to the point where we can recite them in our sleep, and twitter rants and instagram posts can only do so much to satisfy our hunger.

but of course, we have our greatest option - the stream archive channel! hours upon hours upon hours of streams are saved here, ready for our enjoyment. and don't even get me started on the "best of" videos!

when you scroll down far enough, you'll come to find that this channel wasn't always a stream archive. you'll find old video archives, an attempted let's play series, discussion videos, shitposts, mishka spyro YTPMVs, and a 2013 tour of caddy's room in his parents' house. and it was gold.

for this entry, we're going to be discussing the history of this channel and how it got to where it is today!

before 2019, this second channel was known as...

🎵 CAAAA-DYYYY'S CON-UN-DRUMS! 🎵

first established on august 24th, 2013, with its first upload being on september 11th and its announcement video being uploaded to the main channel on september 13th, caddy's conundrums was the place for any random video to be uploaded, be it related to video games or not. this was where drum covers called home until 2017, and where drive thru reviews got its start before it was moved to the main channel in 2015.

one thing i always found interesting about this era of the channel was how the graphic design looked arguably better than the main channel's. the logo actually looked super cool and wasn't made in cooltext. there was also a thumbnail avatar specifically used for this channel as well!

the channel's content

the channel's first upload was the classic "a tour of the room", where caddy gives us a detailed tour of his room in his parents' house. it's a wonderful time capsule of retro caddicarus and it's still up to this day if you would like to give it a watch.

the next upload was the first episode of the series "regarding". regarding was a show where caddy would discuss anything related to pop culture or video games or youtube changes...

...wait a second, this sounds a bit familiar...this show just might as well have been a precursor to the now-unlisted rant series that was posted on the main channel through late 2019! of course, the presentation was not as clickbait-y or angry as the 2019 rant series, but it's interesting to look at both series and see how the approach to video-making had changed between those eras.

there was also the [NOSTALGIACAD] series - which was an archive of his pre-TCS vids from the main channel. before the banger 2020 caddicarus episode where he reacted to these vids, fans would simply just come across them by scrolling to the bottom of the second channel and seeing for themselves. when i was 12 and about a month in on the beautiful people train, i came across "the cleaning", and that's actually where i found out his last name is caddick. it was through a comment on the video but comments on it are now disabled for some weird reason. i think i also memorized the words to "he's the dog" as well. lmao.

caddy cussbottom was a one-off that was originally going to be a series. it was basically "you know what's bullshit?" but british. this is where i found out the name of the certified hood classic "combine harvester" song that's used in a lot of his vids.

there was some funny shitpost-type stuff, like this one where cerys' snake pixie escaped her terrarium or this one that's basically a spyro YTPMV with mishka the dog. i'm not gonna go into depth about every single one - because (almost) every single one is still up as i'm typing this!

in early 2015, caddy did a sponsored video for 1up box, which was like a knockoff lootcrate. this was such a cute video, and it was done in a very caddy fashion. although it deeply hurt my soul when caddy didn't recognize BMO and called him "the 1up box guy".

the channel also serves as an archive for the failed puppicarus series, which was canceled and uploaded to the second channel a month after its premiere. i'll go into more depth about that series in a future entry - let's just say there's a reason i didn't talk about it in the entry about 2012-16 side shows.

there's two more i'll talk about - first one being this ASMR video from june 2016. this was during the peak of the asagao academy fandom, and this normalboots/hidden block dating sim basically brought a bunch of old and new fans together on tumblr. and it just so happened that most of the normalboots/hidden block guys used tumblr at the time. these fans sent them all kinds of asks...and one meme involving the fans trying to get them to make ASMR videos started up at one point. caddy declared on this post that if he got 5,000 notes, he'd make an ASMR video. and we all impressively got him there. yes, i also did daily reblogs on my old (now-deactivated) account. to people outside of tumblr, this video was out of left field, even for him. but it was the funniest shit ever. and it was privated in 2019. sigh.

there was also a video of bloopers from the tweenies video - and the bloopers consisted entirely of brutalmoose stumbling over his lines for the cameo. it's iconic. this was also sadly privated in 2019.

the decline

the channel was most utilized from 2013 to around mid-2015 as an outlet for drum covers, random topic discussions, shitposts, quick game reviews, and a brief stream archive - only 2 streams from 2014 were archived, and they can be found in karo's folder i linked at the top of the post.

2015 got off to an active start for the channel - we had the 1up box video, a regarding episode about the two spider-man movie actors, the aforementioned spyro YTPMV, and a video where caddy comments on how microsoft screwed up solitaire on windows 8. these videos were all uploaded between february and april, and after that, the channel went radio silent until puppicarus was archived in january 2016. after that, the ASMR video was posted that june, and the brutalmoose outtakes were posted in january 2017...and that was it for caddy's conundrums. so what happened?

well, to put it shortly, it was time constraints, the migration of drive thru reviews to the main channel in 2015, and the establishment of the caddy show.

now that caddy was producing two videos a week for the main channel in 2015, extensive amounts of time just couldn't be poured into the second channel anymore. and this would ESPECIALLY become more apparent during the reign of the 3-day-a-week schedule come 2016-18. around this same time, he would stop streaming, and he wouldn't stream again until after the retool in 2020.

the caddy show came along to the main channel in 2017 and would become a new outlet for...drum covers, random topic discussions, shitposts, and quick game reviews. this was another huge factor in the second channel's decline - the main channel started doing everything the second channel did. and so, the second channel declined.

...but it obviously wouldn't be that way forever.

the rejuvenation

around spring 2019, the name of the second channel was mysteriously re-named "caddy plays". there were initially no announcements or branding changes, just a random name change. we also saw the privating of the 9 drive thru reviews episodes that released on the channel - unfortunately, i could only salvage three of them. the drum covers were also privated for some insane reason.

this would later be officially acknowledged in a main channel update video in may. one of the announcements in that video was the announcement of let's plays, a first in caddicarus history. in the past, he'd expressed his disinterest in doing let's plays. but in 2019, he changed his mind, and in june, an n sane trilogy let's play began, with the videos being edited by cerys. cerys' contributions helped caddy continue to focus on the main channel while also maintaining the second channel.

this let's play series didn't last very long, only lasting from june 26th to september 11th in 2019. during that time, the only game completed was n sane trilogy. we had a one-off cuphead let's play with tomska, 2 parts of a ride to hell: retribution let's play, and one part of a blair witch let's play.

the titles were all-caps yelling - typical of let's play channels. the thumbnails weren't too clickbaity...with the obvious exception of the ride to hell videos where the sexy scenes were deliberately used. keep in mind that this was 2019 at-his-last-resort caddicarus, so he was doing all he could to try and stay relevant and bring in enough money to feed his family. i'll go into more depth about this crazy year in a future entry about what i dub the second intermediate period.

i personally didn't watch these let's plays - pretty much because i was absent for them. i'd stopped watching caddicarus a couple months prior to these developments, and while i knew what was going on thanks to karo, i wasn't actually watching the videos themselves.

but i can give you an interesting fact - the first part of the n sane trilogy let's play marked the very first use of lumpies and germs, the new fandom name for caddicarus fans after the retirement of beautiful people 10 months prior.

and y'know what? i outta start watching through these let's plays. it's more caddicarus content to tide me over until the spyro video. lol.

so after the last let's play video, the channel was dormant once again until finally, in april 2020, caddy officially returned to streaming. it was a joyous day in the community...ESPECIALLY for veteran folk like me. except i wasn't there for it...because i'd been gone for a year and onward ripped me a new one a month prior to this return. LMAO.

after this return, the second channel became a stream archive, and it was now seeing regular uploads all the time. by next year we were getting "best of (year)" videos edited by sir toasty. i remember sir toasty being a fan for years and it was so heartwarming seeing him get that chance to work for caddy.

so just like the main channel - the second channel had the best possible outcome after all the adversity. it finally hit the 100k mark in march of this year and is still steadily growing.

while it was never as well known as the main channel, the content of the second channel has still touched the hearts of thousands of caddicarus fans, from generation to generation.

so that's a wrap for this entry. i've now covered every show that's been done across both channels (except for puppicarus, of course). in the next entry, we'll be exploring caddy's history with sponsors, and how sponsor segments evolved over the years!

[olivieraa]

its gotten to the point where this word is basically slang since everyone uses it, but it reminds me of ocd as well since everyone uses ocd to describe being quirky or neat or somewhat clean, but "hyperfocused" is a word that's so attached to my being, that it irks me beyond belief when I see people describe their hyperfixation or whatever on something fucking stupid in which they really could just use the word "focused"

hyperfixation is absolutely integral to my ocd. its one of the main things I cant control.

the best way I can put it is someone being lazy and so they decide to procrastinate, do literally anything other than what they're supposed to be doing. and they just cant bring themselves to do the thing. they continuously nope out of it even when they sit their asses down to do the thing and then they're like "ah I need to go to the store for toothpaste!"

I have a fear of hyperfocusing on something bc then that's it. I'm glued to that till I'm finished/its over/its done, whatever it may be. could take days, or weeks, or months.

it has screwed me up in school, in jobs, in college, even just being online.

I used to love watching AMV's when I first entered the internet. just casually watching them. until my brain realised I shouldn't just casually watch them. they should be organised and categorised. and then 3 categories became 8, and then 14, and then I had 20 playlists of AMV's based on things I cant even remember until I one day had to stop watching AMV's altogether bc I turned it into a chore. and I knew then at that point they couldn't be enjoy anymore. I couldnt just put one on for fun. I knew I'd categorise it, and want to go onto the next one, and do it to that too. so I stopped altogether and never went back. this simple fun quick thing I cut off completely.

on tumblr, I casually reblogged everything and anything on this site when If irst came on here until I realised what tumblr actually was and had to start tagging things so that they were organised on my blog. but oh no. I didn't just tag the character, the anime, and the whatever else. it got to the point where a reblogged picture of just Joey had about 18 tags. to make matters worse, I wanted my tags alphabetical, and it was during the time you couldn't rearrange the order of tags. so if I realised I was missing a tag that started with the letter c, I had to delete all the previous tags to put that c word in and then retag again. post after post after post. I got to page 100 on my blog before I panicked that I may have missed something and started again. ...and then I started again. and again. so I stopped tagging. bc I stopped going to school bc I was tagging my blog. that's all I did for days. I didn't do anything else. I was completely focused on the organisation of my blog. and so I had to stop myself from ever tagging again. my '#niece watches' tag doesnt count bc they're there mainly for blocking purposes lmao

another online example, it happened at christmas when I decided to watch attack on titan. I'd made the decision to start again from the beginning (despite having seen season one 4 times) bc my plan was to put on something I could casually watch and pause and do work and then take breaks and go back to watching and it'd be so easy.

nope. I binged 100 eps in 5 days. I went to bed at 5-6am. I couldn't stop. and I'm not even kidding, the best way I can describe it is, lets say you've the most important test of your life in 1 week. and you need to study. and you ASSUME that during your lil break times you can casually watch attack on titan, SPECIFICALLY for chosen break times, maybe once and hour, but studying is priority bc the exam is in ONE WEEK and you haven't started studying. so maybe you'll get through like, idk, maybe 7 eps a day?

episode fucking ONE hooked me in. an ep I've seen so many times. HOOKED me in. like I hadn't seen it before. I was absolutely glued to it. ep 1 ends and I'm like "oh wait I should study............ but like, its fine. I'll do one more ep and then do EXTRA study."

another ep, another ep, another ep. I got to ep 6 and was about to click 7 and was like

to my goddamn brain.

I momentarily won. I managed to do about 20 mins of study, then watched ep 7-14 in a row. still on day one. I opened a book for a total of 20 mins. so I promise myself, bc this test is so important and high priority, that I'll properly start tomorrow.

it never happened. I did nothing other than watch that show and do basic necessities. for 5 days. I had no control over this decision. its like there's another me who always wins. always wins. and she's evil. I had to finish the show before I could move on. it had to be complete.

I dont know how to get out of these moments. I remember when I went to my second ever job I told them about how it screwed me over a little in my first retail job (stocking shelves, oh but didn't those shelves need to be perfect. even if I was supposed to have been on aisle 4 or 5 by the time the managers came back to check in on me, no no I was still on aisle one perfecting aisle one. and nobody was going to ruin it for me, boss or not.)

and they told me it seemed like a good thing in the second job! but I was like "no I cant let it happen here, I cant. it gets bad."

and it happened. they put me in charge of a task and I found it hard to do anything other than perfect that task to the point that I was focusing on doing that same thing every day to keep it perfect, even when I was told to do something else.

so... yeah. they overuse of hyperfixation and hyperfocusing when people just mean "I was focused on this thing" drives me insane

crazy person rant over

[icewindandboringhorror]

maybe is very Bigg Nerd of me but I absolutely love when it gets to this time of year and I sit down and reorganize my goals, write up a new schedule, make a to-do list for the next year, discard/donate everything I’m not using, etc. etc. It’s jost.. Refreshinge.. despite the fact that no matter how much planning I do I’m always going to have functioning issues and other factors inhibiting me lol, it’s still like, Well Hey At Least I’m Trying, And I Love To Organize Shelves Babey

[preemshots]

johnny + the nomads lore

alright, i know this is a screenshots blog but i'm going to go ahead and start dropping some juicy lore tidbits as i dig them up. part of what i'm doing outside of just photo diarying is shard hunting, and BOY is there a lot the game likes to hide in those little shards for idiots like me who like to read so we can write unnecessarily accurate fanfiction! 

full disclosure, i know jack shit about the TTRPG/cyberpunk 2020 rulebook except what i read in the wikis. 

so here’s my lore roundup so far of everything i know about johnny joining the nomads

we know johnny likes to narrate v’s quest objectives. here’s the first mention where he says it himself: 

during the voodoo boys quest "transmission" there's a shard in the maglev tunnels beside the ice bath, presumably from brigitte's research into johnny in the first place:

okay, so the timeline is this: johnny joins the nomads after trying and failing to rescue alt. johnny hides out in the badlands for some years. then he and rogue come back to night city and nuke arasaka tower help alt escape the arasaka subnet by uploading liberator to their network once and for all.

this ultimately makes sense. in alt’s flashback, we meet santiago, who is a nomad/connected to nomads, joins rogue and johnny when they're trying to get alt back, and eventually becomes the leader of the aldecaldos. 

part of santiago’s TTRPG lore is that he, johnny, and rogue have to lay low in the badlands with nomads after they storm arasaka headquarters (i am aware the game takes many liberties with the original lore so who knows the full accuracy of anything from the original rulebooks)

ENDING spoilers: in the rogue+johnny storming AHQ ending, it's revealed that rogue has a son while they're prepping for the job. if you eavesdrop on her calling him while you're at the afterlife, you hear her tell her son to (paraphrasing here) "pull over and look at the stars", which immediately made my brain go to: nomad, badlands, santiago = dad? maybe. (santiago also canonically has a son according to the TTRPG lore)

this immediately reminded me of another interesting shard that i believe you can find in multiple locations around night city: “"what REALLY happened in arasaka tower?“

i love this dang shard. at first i thought it was just a cute conspiracy with some juicy gossip (and i love how 99% of the shards that mention johnny in this game are reminding us that he's not a real rebel, he's a poser) but it brings some interesting shit together

one: it tells us where johnny got his hands on the nukes! he and the nomads jumped a militech convoy and jacked some bombs! 

which is never directly explained, even as saburo arasaka is interrogating him shortly before using soulkiller. very nice of johnny to protect his homies like that. 

...or maybe he didn’t. saburo emphasizes that the dead don’t lie like the living do, and we don’t know what exactly arasaka did to johnny’s construct in mikoshi. 

it also explains why the obvious media narrative is that militech nuked arasaka, a nice neat political bow to the end of the fourth corpo wars, which is an entire section of the TTRPG lore that makes my eyes cross when i read it. 

it also makes the star/nomads ending extremely interesting, because i originally believed it was the ending where V’s journey deviates the most from rewalking johnny’s path... which also has weird implications if the johnny’s nomad era is being kept from v. 

(this also leads into my belief that the star ending/the devil ending are narratively two sides of the same coin, but that’s a WHOLE ANOTHER POST for another day.)

TWO, just straight up the fact that they turned the raid where they actually obtained the nukes into an action flick BD that pretty much ANYONE could watch. who the hell was doing that?? 

well, who else other than the guy who johnny (optionally) punched the shit out of for filming alt's death: thompson, media guy, and according to rogue, “bad luck”. because you know, recording your crimes is straight up evidence that can be used against you.

during the alt flashback we meet thompson, and just after that in cyberspace before meeting alt, johnny tells v that he has no idea what happened to him and that they never worked together again. 

oh, johnny, you lying bastard man

this is blatantly untrue, and if V even had two braincells and better memory than a goldfish they'd know this--in the first flashback sequence where johnny and rogue nuke arasaka tower, thompson is on the comms as they ride the AV towards AHQ, questioning their plans and use of violence. 

which leaves me with some questions, like where the fuck is thompson, why does johnny keep lying about this, why doesn't johnny say almost anything about how you interact with the aldecaldo clan nonstop throughout the game when he himself may have been a member of the family for some time?? is he continuing to protect the nomad clan that saved his ass? we know that a lot of his flashbacks are unreliable at best, that johnny changes shit up as desired when presenting V with his memories.

in 2077, you can also find that there’s a remake of “badlands raid” in the shard “new release braindances” that is pretty much everywhere. that shard doesn’t add much, but does mention something along the lines of “many people don’t know the ending of the original” which probably means johnny punched thompson out for filming again, or something. 

my running theories: rogue ditched santiago and the aldecaldos with johnny and thompson to nuke arasaka tower, and when johnny died she was stuck looking for (heavily implied by johnny here:) corpo sellout ways to survive.

adam smasher obviously has something to do with this since johnny/rogue's vendetta against the guy isn't entirely clear beyond the smokescreen of "he killed johnny and he sucks". i have done 0 research into this though i'm tired of typing okay

i obviously cannot be certain i have found everything related to this in the game as i’m not even done with this playthrough where i’m trying to pay attention, but i hope this is fun for someone else to dig into. 

enjoy, fellow silverhand freaks

EDIT: additional findings

ALRIGHT I HAVE DONE MORE DIGGING AND I AM BACK WITH MORE NOMAD/JOHNNY FINDINGS. these ones are kind of a bummer but VERY interesting.

there’s a shard called “excerpts from a history of the nomads by bb pires” that goes into detail about how nomads came to be

there’s an interesting quote in it: It's hard to imagine a group less inclined to wandering than farmers, but in fact they were the ones who sparked the age of nomads. Natural catastrophes, crops ravaged by bioplagues, armed conflicts and martial law allowing corporations to speculate and privatize land - all this forced them into a life on the road.

when you ask johnny why he wants to take down arasaka, he begins by referencing this himself!!

it’s a little awkward to imagine a nomad V doesn’t also know what he’s referencing, but hey, V is the fool because we are as players and that’s only one life path... so sure.

johnny also has unique dialogue during this scene about a nomad origin V, telling them that he’s been trying to understand how V thinks, and came to the conclusion that “their family was a crutch” and essentially made them stupid because they always had a safety net (lmao johnny calling v privileged basically)

BUT this also may reference why johnny would find it confusing as hell that V doesn’t immediately share the views he does when nomads, in terms of values, seem to be more aligned with johnny than V is. but once again V is the fool for a reason and this is all my own speculation so YOU KNOW.

MORE IMPORTANTLY, at the end of chippin’ in, when you ask johnny what he meant by letting down his friends... santiago is named directly

i thought this was interesting since the only glimpse of their relationship that we get is seeing johnny meeting santiago via the alt flashback for the first time.

so now it’s obvious that while johnny and rogue were with the nomads their friendship developed, and johnny went on to disappoint santiago in some way by being his normal dickhead self

but HOW? how did he disappoint santiago? is santiago even still alive?? did smasher kill santiago and is this why rogue mentions during chippin’ in that she wants smasher to “settle a score” moreso than avenge johnny??

the only additional hints i have are from this shard, which you can find at the aldecaldos camp: “nomads at ground zero”

i’m just gonna transcribe here and bold for emphasis:

It was no secret that Night Corp offered generous pay and, in some cases, free cyberware and biomonitor upgrades to anyone willing to help clean up the crater of radioactive rubble at AHQ ground zero. Some firsthand accounts recall the incessant ticking of Geiger counters, like the loud buzz of cicadas in summer. In retrospect, we can only guess how many "crater cleaners" lost their lives to radiation sickness shortly thereafter. Both the city government and Night Corp have claimed casualties were kept to a minimum, while providing no official statistics to substantiate the claim. That being said, they have never been under pressure to release such figures. After all, most rescue, engineering, and rubble cleanup teams were not local Night Citizens, but nomads. Surprised you didn't know? Don't be. It is a fact many history courses tend to overlook. The city employed hundreds of nomad mercenaries, primarily from clans in Aldecaldo nation. These nomads were hungry for gainful work and the city needed experts who were not only experienced but brave enough to knowingly put their lives on the line - all so Arasaka could one day erect another tower in its place. But history is not without its sense of irony. These nomads, who so deliberately live outside our so-called "system," came to its very rescue. Not for the first time. And not for the last.

a main theme we find in this game is the idea that the system of corps and exploitation cannot be stopped by grandiose rebellious gestures--no amount of samurai songs, assassinating mayors, or even planting nukes in towers will change things. yet johnny, his friends and mercs at atlantis in the 2020s, including rogue, chose to rebel any way they could, thinking it better than not. johnny criticizes her lack of rebellious spirit CONSTANTLY in 2077.

but ultimately, johnny, trapped in mikoshi, didn’t get to see the outcome of what detonating the AHQ nukes did to night city’s fragile ecosystem. rogue, however, did--and likely watched their former allies, the aldecaldos, be forced to take dangerous work at AHQ’s ground zero (from lack of other opportunities as detailed in this shard), then die from radiation sickness throughout the following decades, all as a result of what she and johnny did to try and fight the system. and she also watched all the former mercenaries of atlantis be hunted down by arasaka.

so rogue sees firsthand what the cost of rebellion is and johnny doesn’t. and nomads, considered the most free of any of the factions we encounter in the game, are the cost.

[starlitheaven]

♡𝐂𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐨’𝐬 𝐟𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐠𝐢𝐟𝐭 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐲𝐨𝐮♡

Headcanons surrounding his favorite gift from you. This is so self-indulgent I can’t even pretend lol. Originally sent this as an ask to the lovely @saintchrollo, but I just have so many thoughts on how this goes + headcanons surrounding it, that I wanted to elaborate! 

One of the main reasons you both worked well in a relationship was that you were both autonomous people. 

He obviously had “work” (early in the relationship you had a feeling it was something sketchy but didn’t bother questioning it. Once you find out, you have a hard time calling it work lmao) and you were a full time student 

Although you two didn’t see each other very often, as he was gone for weeks or even over a month at times, you talked as often as you could. He didn’t seem to be much of a texter, but he absolutely adored whenever you sent him pictures of yourself. Especially when you wore clothes with the money he sends you (but he somehow doesn’t think of himself as a sugar daddy yet you do lmao)

(He’s mortified when he finds out you briefly had his contact name as “Sugar Daddy” with a money and heart emoji)

oh, and phone calls. One in the morning, and one at night. Those seem to be more important to him. Phone sex happens at either one, though.

Anyway, no matter how long he’s gone for, he always brings you back flowers. He’ll sometimes bring you all sorts of gifts or trinkets, but the flowers are always a must. 

He doesn’t make a big deal of them, he just likes coming back to you with flowers. He’ll simply say something like “Your dining table could use some, that’s all.”

This also gives him a reason to gift you vintage hand cut crystal vases, not bothering to tell you exactly how he got them or how valuable they are. He tries not to cringe when he’s away and you text him a photo of one shattered on your kitchen floor with a simple “i accidentally dropped it, sorry lovely :(“

You soon become so used to having beautiful flower arrangements in your dining room table. After a long and trying day, you come home with sagged shoulders and set your bag down on the table. The sight of the beautiful flowers (that time it was a pink strawflower arrangement) makes you think of the smell of his cologne when you had greeted him back, flowers in hand, with a long hug and kiss to his jaw.

They begin to bring you comfort. It reminds you of his affection, and how romantic he is without meaning to be. Sometimes it feels like all he does is give, give, give. 

For someone who’s the opposite of materialistic, Chrollo likes to give you small gifts, clothes, flowers, compliments (these are endless). It feels like so much compared to what you’re able to give him. 

Then again, one of the reasons you don’t know what to gift him aside books is that he doesn’t reveal much about himself. You’ve never met anyone who was as private and reserved as he is, and was so nonchalant about it. You knew that he’s revealed more to you than he planned to, and he loves how much of yourself you give him.

To him, everything about you is the greatest gift of all. You feel this when he lays himself on top of you, resting his head on your chest and listening to your heartbeat as you tell him stories about your life and play with his hair. 

So you decide to show him how much you love what he does for you.

Every time he returns to you and brings you flowers, you save one of each and press them into a book. Deciding on a book to use is overwhelming considering how many he loves or how many remind you of him.

You decide on an unassuming book, but the most intimate. You remember him telling you about how he’d come across things as a child: from dumps of trash. Books were always his favorite, and he read every legible book he could find. 

Most were nonfiction with a variety of subjects, some biographies of people he didn’t know, and some fiction. One of his first favorite books was an old children’s book. 

It was about a boy who went on an adventure to see the world and meet new people. As a child, it was fascinating for him to read about places with clean and clear water, crisp fresh air, and blue skies. The boy never had to resort to eating dirt or from the trash to fill and empty stomach. 

When Chrollo had first told you this, he said it so casually. As if he was simply intrigued by something so different from his own life. Though you knew it must have meant something to him and how he felt as a child if he’s still fond of such a book. 

So, after some time, you pressed enough flowers into a copy of that book and gifted it to him on your anniversary. 

He clearly never expected something like that, especially after seeing the book title and recognizing the flowers. His gratitude, his touches, the mindblowingly romantic sex, and the way he began to slowly open up more was the closest to an I love you that you’d get from him. 

One of the things about your lover, though, is that he is always a step ahead. This man is always ready to one up anyone. 

He begins to start searching for rare (sometimes endangered but you don’t know this) flowers to gift back to you. He knows that you’ll be upset if you learned any of them went extinct from this, so he only takes one of each. He presses them into a book of love poems (in the original print but you don’t know this either!! He knows how overwhelmed you’d be at having so many coveted items) and writes small descriptions of them on small post-its. 

When he gifts this to you, you just know you may never be able to win with him on this. 

[panwriter]

I posted 3,789 times in 2021

14 posts created (0%)

3775 posts reblogged (100%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 269.6 posts.

I added 2,680 tags in 2021

#reanimator - 636 posts

#hearteyes motherfucker - 316 posts

#the tudors - 307 posts

#saw franchise - 256 posts

#game of thrones - 252 posts

#disney - 244 posts

#desperate housewives - 202 posts

#otp - 184 posts

#house of wax - 153 posts

#elder scrolls online - 130 posts

Longest Tag: 43 characters

#bark bark woof grrrr aaaaawooga hubba hubba

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

Thank you to @margoblack for the tag!

1. what do you prefer to be called name-wise? Syd or Pan. 

2. when is your birthday? May 23. Early Gemini. 

3. where do you live?  Ontario, Canada. But fuck do I wanna live somewhere else. 

4. three things you are doing right now?  Vibing to music, cleaning my drafts and queue, waiting for @brilliancetheory to come back so we can watch Desperate Housewives 

5. four fandoms that have piqued your interest?  Re-Animator, Jeffery Combs, Desperate Housewives, Dragon Age. 

6. how has the pandemic been treating you? Had to move back into my toxic household but on the bright side I’m watching my parents abusive relationship crumble and decay from the front row so lmao. 

7. a song you can’t stop listening to right now? Shaxicula by DJ Cummerbund followed closely by Hayloft by Mother Mother

8. recommend a movie. Re-Animator. Please. I promise its good. 

9. how old are you?  21 going on (mentally) 57 

10. school, university, occupation, other?  Currently in college for Office Administration. Yes I like to file.  

11. do you prefer heat or cold?  See, I prefer the heat, but my body prefers the cold, but my lungs prefers a perfect middle and nothing else. So I just say I like fall. 

12. name one fact others may not know about you. I, the asthmatic, played Bass Clarinet. If you know you know.  

13. are you shy?  Eh, depends. 

14. pronouns?  Recently discovered genderfluid here so She/He. Don’t really like they (no hate obvi, just doesn’t feel right for me). 

15. biggest pet peeves?  Getting told/taught to do something that I already know -stares at my college classes-

16. what is your favorite “-dere” type? Yandere. Yes I have trauma. 

17. rate your life from 1 to 10, 1 being crappy and 10 being the best it could be Uhhhh 5. Highs and lows rn.

18. what’s your main blog? This one, but I have many dead RP blogs floating around out there. Try and find me. 

19. list your side blogs and what they’re used for. I got no side blogs. 

20. is there something people need to know about you before becoming friend?  I don’t shut the fuck up. Have fun. 

Tagging: @yoshla , @vinterskald , @zhongluong , @xnaitomea , @violasmirabiles , @rhysmeyers , @sweet-as-battery , @mongoose-king , @tealcoloredglasses

4 notes • Posted 2021-03-01 23:23:37 GMT

#4

tagged by: @vam-pyr thank you sm I live for these <3

why did you choose your url? I’m pansexual and I’m a writer who will explore almost anything. Play on words. It’s my brand now (people end up calling me Pan, like the Greek Faunus, which I love bdhjfds)

any side blogs? Nope but I do have old RP blogs floating in the abyss and I have had side blogs in the past.

how long have you been on tumblr? Since 2010 or 2011 I think. This is not the blog I joined on, that one is long deactivated. This is actually my third personal blog (and hopefully my last).

do you have a queue tag? Nope but I do use my queue a lot.

why did you start your blog in the first place? Originally I joined tumblr because it looked like a fun social site. Why I made this specific blog? My old one got hacked and swarmed with porn bots 

why did you choose your icon/pfp? Herbert West is the love of my life that’s why.

why did you choose your header? Reanimator is my current hyperfixation 

what’s your post with the most notes? This post exposing some loser trying to catfish me over Henry Cavill discourse 

how many mutuals do you have? 17 lovely peeps <3

how many followers do you have? 56. I used to have thousands on my first and cursed personal blog. I don’t really care about followers but its wild that I had that many back then.

how many people do you follow? 175. I try to clean it out once and a while.

have you ever made a shitpost? Many, thats most of what my yep thats me tag is lmao.

how often do you use tumblr everyday? I check it whenever I’m bored, so about once a day at least.

did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? Yes. Real People imaginers/one-shoters are gross lol.

how do you feel about “you need to reblog this”? I used to fall for that shit when I was a wee lad, but now I scroll past or will straight up delete that reblog if I actually like the post

do you like tag games? I love them even tho it takes me some time to get to them. Please tag me.

do you like ask games? I love being Perceived 

which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous? @vam-pyr for sure

do you have a crush on a mutual? Nah

tagging: @elvenasscheek , @violasmirabiles , @sweet-as-battery , @gottliebbs , @shakyhandsshakybones , @xnaitomea 

5 notes • Posted 2021-08-16 13:29:27 GMT

#3

If Samwell Tarly was conventionally attractive, not only would people ship him and Jon out the wazoo, but they would actually fucking talk about how good of a character Sam is.

19 notes • Posted 2021-09-22 16:28:10 GMT

#2

Here’s my edit of Bo that Brian himself liked

139 notes • Posted 2021-08-27 17:46:50 GMT

#1

238 notes • Posted 2021-10-19 01:22:37 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[violetnotez]

hello!! how are u today? i hope youre well💖 may i request a baku crushing on a girl who is native eng speaker, but has never heard her speak. however one day the whole class is watching some eng movie n y/n starts dissing the movie in eng bc its so bad n the whole class is sHOCKED BC HER VOICE IS SO FLUENT N SM DEEPER IN ENG. bakubabe is just there like damn thats hot.

Hey babes! I’m doing well thank you, just doing some stuffs for my art blog! I hope youre doing well 💕💕also thank you to @gallickingun for the mangacap, it saved me so much time and I was actually able to color it! 😍

Also: IM ALIVE!!!! I LITERALLY WROTE THIS TODAY AND OMG I MISS WIRITNG! I’ll start on that Dabi x reader fic I mentioned in a little bit, just wanted to post this! Hopefully it’s good lmao

⤷ Genre: Fluff

⤷ Word Count: 2020

⤷ Warnings: cursing its bakubabe

⤷ Synopsis: Bakugo won’t admit it to himself, but he’s conflicted: he knows he has a crush on you, but his dumbass won’t admit it-well, until he hears your sexy American voice.

Song Recs: ⤷If I Cant Have You-Shawn Mendes⤷Thinking About You-Calvin Harris ⤷Rather Be-Clean Bandit

This was so stupid. Completely dumb and a waste of his time.

Bakugo slumped in his seat a little more, a grumble escaping his lips as he tried to focus on the screen in front of him, his broad shoulders crossed in front of him.

He should be sleeping right now, not sitting and watching this dumbass romantic American movie, especially when you were by his side.

There was no reason why his cheeks should feel hotter when you laughed at the movie, or his hands feel clammy with his sweat everytime you shifted your body closer to him.

It was pissing him off, because no matter how much he tried to ignore the pent up emotions in his chest, he had to admit it to himself-he had a goddamn crush.

On you, the goddamn exchange student.

Fucking great.

His lips pouted as he sulked in his seat on the couch, trying his best to glue his eyes to the screen instead of sneaking a glance at your profile.

The TV showed one of the most sickly sweet and horrific scenes he had ever witnessed: the main couple on screen were finally declaring their love to each other, their voices getting louder and more desperate as they tried to one up each other, almost as if battling to see who could last the longest.

“I love you to the moon!”

“I love you to the moon and back!”

“I love you to the moon and all the stars in the sky!”

“And I love you to-“

A laugh erupted next to him, Bakugo swiveling his head over to see you giggling in your seat, your pretty lips parted as those sweet sounds came from your mouth.

“God, this is terrible!” You chuckled, shaking your head as you said it.

Bakugo’s face reddened, his eyes widening from the sounds coming from your mouth.

Your sentence wasn’t in Japanese: it was foreign and new, American sounding.

Bakugo was used to your voice sounding light and airy when you talked in Japanese, like a leaf on a autumn breeze as it floated into his ears and danced in his mind whenever you spoke his native language. Sometimes you would fumble over the words, trying to piece the meanings together as a blush formed on your cheeks and your eyes turned up from embarrassment. He always made fun of you from it, usually telling you to “Spit it out Baka, I don’t got all day”, but really-he absolutely loved it. You sounded so sweet, so innocent and endearing: he just wanted to wrap you in a hug and envelope himself in your sugar sweet voice.

But right now, your voice was somehow the opposite-it was deeper and richer, like warm,auburn honey on a summer evening. It coated his mind in its thick numbness, the only thing he could think of was how deep and sultry, and well, sexy, it sounded coming from your lips.

He squirmed in his seat, hating how much that little change in your tone affected him so much as you continued to giggle at the wreck of a movie in front of you.

Your class turned to look at you, their faces clearly as shocked as Bakugo’s-they had never actually heard your voice when you spoke English, and they weren’t quite used to it.

You looked at your classmates, your face twisted in innocent confusion.

“What? What did I say?” You asked again in that sultry American voice, making Bakugo shift in his seat, his face looking away from you as he covered his mouth with his hand.

Damn you needed to get that voice under control-he felt like you were controlling his emotions when you spoke like that.

“Whoa y/n you know English!” Kamianri propped himself up, his face clearly in awe as he yelled it out the words.

Sero, who was sitting beside him, chuckled at his air headed friend, giving him a judging look.

“Uh, you do realize she’s from America, right?” Sero snickered, Kamianri looking sheepish as he realized his forgetfulness.

“Oops, Sorry!” He yelled out again, earning a laugh from you and the rest of your classmates.

Jealousy bubbled inside Bakugo like a volcanic eruption, the dangerous emotion barely being contained inside him as his fists clenched.

He hated when others made you laugh, especially his freinds, who unfortunately figured out the crush he had on you a few weeks back. Hearing you giggle at his idiot friends made him want to yell out in possession, declaring that they should know that you were his-well would be his- and they should lay off. But you didn’t suspect a thing about his feelings, and he really didn’t feel like looking like a possessive freak in front of you.

He felt your body shift next to his, his heart beating faster as your finger tapped his shoulder.

“Hey, Uh, Bakugo?” You whispered, the sweet tone of your Japanese voice making him shudder pleasantly, as well as long for your deeper American voice.

He grunted in response, his arms still slung across his broad chest.

“Did I talk in my American voice?”

He scoffed, his eyes rolling in his sockets at how adorably oblivious you could be sometimes. He sent you a shit eating smirk, his vermillion eyes dark like wine.

“What do you think?” He stated, but he didn’t say it in his language, no-he said it English.

He watched your face instantly light up, your eyes bright with excitement and awe as you gasped.

“Wait-you know English?!” You yelled out in awe, a smile erupting on your face. That smile seemed to shake his world, his mind eternally thanking that the room was so dark as his cheeks flushed.

“Of course I know English,” he scoffed, “what idiot doesnt.”

You giggled at his comment, your body shifting closer to his.

Damn it, his cheeks were getting hotter-he could feel your shoulder a mere centimeters away from his, your skin radiating a coolness that felt so soothing being near his permanently hot flesh.

You leaned in closer, your eyes watching his face with sweetness. “How long have you been speaking it?” you asked, but in that hot ass American voice-he was about to combust right then and there.

Shit-he would never admit it, but he hadn’t been exactly practicing his second language. He had learned it back in middle school, when it was a required class, and he had passed it with flying colors of course. Over the years though, he began to forget it, and he was pretty rusty now, now only remembering a few phrases (‘What do you think?’ being one of them)

“Ahh-“ he grumbled out, feeling stupid for not even understanding what you had said. He felt those pretty eyes of yours continue to stare at him, making him feel almost guilty for leading you on as you face fell slightly.

“You didn’t understand what I said, did you?” You asked sadly, back to using your airy Japanese voice. He hated seeing you look so disappointed, as if he let you down in some way.

“Of course I do, dumbass, I just-“

“It’s been awhile since you spoken it?”

He grunted in reply, your mind already translating that to a “Yes.”

Your face somehow light up again, your body even closer to his as you shimmied yourself near him.

“Then I’ll reteach you it!”

“Huh?” He looked at you, his eyes slanted as you peered at you with an almost judging look. What the hell were you playing at?

You nodded again, your lips letting out a slight hum.

“Yeah, I’ll teach you a phrase in English! To be honest, I miss having someone to talk to in my language…” you chuckled at your revelation, your eyes coated in embarrassment.

Well shit-if you needed someone to talk to in English, he was going to be the one to do it. With his damn luck Icy Hot and damn Deku would jump in and be your little English buddy. His skin crawled at the idea of you getting all cozy with one of those two bastards, his insides light up like a fire.

“Fine,” he huffed out, pretending like he was giving in, “but I’m not sitting through a whole damn lesson.”

You chuckled slightly, brushing a piece of hair behind your ears.

“Don’t worry, I’ll start off easy,” you smiled up at him, looking up slightly as if in thought.

“We’ll start with a something easy,” you instructed.

“I’ll teach you-“your sweet Japanese voice suddenly turned rich like syrup as it switched to American. ‘Hi my name is Bakugo”,

“Easy enough?” You asked, switching back to Japanese.

“Fucking elementary,” he scoffed, “yeah I can do it.”

“Cool!” You exclaimed quietly, still mindful of your classmates watching the crappy movie. You shimmied again, your face squarely staring at his as you waited for him to start speaking, your eyes expecting and wide with anticipation.

Shit he was supposed to be paying attention?

Bakugo cursed himself in his mind, as he was too preoccupied listening to your hot as hell American accent.

Damn, he was going to have a hard time talking to you in English, especially if you said his name like that. He hadn't realized how mezmorized he was by the way you spoke his name, your voice low and sultry as if you were telling him a secret, something he was only able to hear. His spine tingled and his hands clammed up again, making his mouth feel dry.

Shit, you’d be the end of him.

He opened his mouth, feeling uncharacteristically nervous as he tried to speak the words you had spoken. He could barely remember how you had said them though, the syllables coming out his mouth feeling cracked and awkward.

“H-hi my n-ame is...shit!” He cursed at himself, hating the way the words felt in his mouth. He couldn't say them right, knowing full well he looked like an idiot as his cheeks began to redden.

He heard you giggle next to him, the voice sounding sweet and kind against his ear.

“It okay,” you reassured him, “your just opening your mouth a little too wide...here-“

Before he could register what was even going on, your hand had wrapped delicately around his jaw, the floral scent of your perfume swarming his mind and making him unable to think straight. Your digits were pressing against his hot cheeks, forcing his lips to pout out slightly.

Damn, if he thought he was blushing, it was nothing compared to this-it felt like his cheeks were on fire.

You laughed at his clearly shocked face, his vermillion eyes wide and filled with confusion.

“Don’t worry, Bakugo, I’m just helping you,” you reassured him, your voice feathery as you whispered close to his ear.

Why the hell did that sound so hot?

You sent him another smile, speaking again in Japanese and then back to English, “Just say- ‘Hi my name is Bakugo’,”

he continued to star at you, actually beginning to like the feel your digits pressed against his mouth.

He swallowed, trying to coat his dry mouth with saliva.

“Hi-my name-is-Bakugo,” he stuttered out.

He wouldn’t ever say it out loud, but he had to admit it-his English voice did sound much better with your fingers pressed against his cheeks like that.

You clearly noticed it as well, your face triumphant and proud. “There ya go, that sounded so much better!” You congratulated him, your fingers retracting from his skin.

He already missed the feeling of your cold skin against his hot flesh, his cheeks feeling empty without your digits pressing against them.

He sucked the flesh of his cheeks into his mouth, moving his jaw.

“Shitty woman-need to give me a warning-“ he scolded you, his hands feeling clammy with the sudden change in events.

You rolled your eyes, lying yourself against the couch cushions and returning your gaze to the TV.

“Well, your going to have to get used to it if I’m going to teach you more-“

“Teach me more?!?” He practically yelled out, gaining a few confusing looks from his classmates.

“Of course!” you smiled as if it was obvious, “need to make sure your fluent enough for a conversation dumbie!”

“It’s also fun seeing you blush like that Bakugo,” you playfully nudged his ribcage, sending him a wink as you turned your gaze to the movie, unaware of how flustered you just made him.

Well shit-he thought numbly, a small grin playing against his mouth-you were something else.

Taggings:

@weebartistinc​ @orokayagi​ @leeeah-loooser​ @bakarinnie​

[sparkles-and-trash]

atla headcanon: Azula knew Mai was gay, and pushed her towards Zuko to keep her safe in the Fire Nation.

note: I love making these kind of canon compliant theories/au’s, and this one’s been in my mind forever, so here it is! 

I’m going to write this based on my own interpretation that Mai and Zuko are both gay, but that doesn’t mean I’m saying anyone who feels differently is wrong or bad, these are just my thoughts! 

So, we know one of the main reasons Mai and Zuko ever got together is Azula. 

We see it in the flashback from their childhoods, Azula and Ty Lee scheming to get Zuko to notice Mai, because he wasn’t on his own, and again in the comics, where Azula asks Mai to get with Zuko in a ploy to keep an eye on him after he comes home, and she keeps dropping comments on how happy Mai is with Zuko when he’s home. 

Azula is generally assumed to do things only for her own gain, but every now and then, we see her actually caring about people, and when she does, it’s usually her friends, and even Zuko when she tells Ozai he killed the Avatar. 

What if the reason Azula pushed Mai towards her brother from such a young age, is that she realized Mai is gay, and she knows very well that being gay is a bad thing in the Fire Nation? 

Azula seems to only have two friends; Mai and Ty Lee. 

Now, if one of them is gay, and the reason Azula thinks so, is because she thinks Mai has a crush on Ty Lee, and now Azula is worried she’ll lose both of them. 

Now, she knows she can control Ty Lee. She is easily persuaded and manipulated, and Azula thinks she can protect her. 

But Mai is different. 

Mai isn’t good at hiding and understanding her own feelings, and Azula can’t always get her to understand how important these things are. 

Now, the one person Azula always knows she can control, is Zuko. 

And because of that, he makes the perfect candidate here. 

So, Azula starts planting this idea that Mai likes Zuko in their heads. Mai denies it, but that just makes her look more guilty, and as a young, confused gay, she still thinks in heteronormative ways, and now Azula is planting these seeds in her head, and she is more confused than ever. 

I know first hand how easy it into believe that you’re something you’re not if you’re told enough times, and outside forces leads you to believe you’re abnormal in any way. 

So, when Zuko comes home in the show, they’re both expected to be happy together, right? 

But let’s be honest here; their relationship is weird, man. 

My friend actually said something when she first watched it that I think perfectly describes it: 

It feels like watching two gay people trying to imitate what they think a perfect, straight relationship is, but neither of them can fully convince themselves its right. 

The best example is The Beach episode, but there are other things, little stuff like Mai’s comments on Zuko’s emotions, Zuko not understanding how to communicate with her, that just makes me feel like there is no romantic chemistry there at all. 

Now, this doesn’t mean they don’t like or care for each other. 

When you’ve spent most of your life being convinced, and try to convince yourself, that you’re in love with someone, it’s not weird that you start caring about them for real, even as a friend. 

I fully believe Mai felt for Zuko. That she saw the good in him, that he managed to change how she viewed some big parts of the ongoing war and the Fire Nation itself. 

I fully believe he was the reason she finally turned on Azula, and even that she did it to save his life out of love. 

But not romantic love. 

And not just because of Zuko. 

Look, we know Mai cares about Ty Lee. 

We also know that she sees how easily Azula manipulates her, and that she’s not a fan of it. 

Did this has something to do with the final straw for Mai to turn her back on Azula? 

I think so. 

And I think Mai had her Big Gay Awakening that moment when Ty Lee risks everything and chi-blocks Azula to save Mai. 

She finally sees Ty Lee as someone who’s on her side, someone who can mean more to her than she ever dared image and dream, and she realizes that this girl just saved her life. 

Do I think she and Ty Lee had a lot fo time to talk, figure things out, maybe even confess and properly fall in love in their time at the Boiling Rock before the war ends? 

Fuck yeah, I do. 

I also think Mai uses the fact that people thinks she’s Zuko’s girlfriend to ensure that she and Ty Lee gets safely out of there, but not in a way that is cruel to Zuko. 

I think they have a clean breakup after the show, with full openness, and that they stay friends for life, and that their friendship keeps being special to both of them. 

I say fuuuuck the comics and the way they tear up their relationship and friendship. 

For the record I also have a whole similar theory about Zuko’s side in this and how he ends up with Sokka, but this post is already too long, lmao. Maybe I’ll write that one some day, too. 

[roro-mo]

Love can wait

Hi all,

i posted this fanfic on fan fiction.net in the New Year and thought I should share this on tumblr for those who are looking for more ZoNa, just like me. You can find this here.

This was one of my first fanfics but I haven’t updated the story in like forever so am looking to go back to writing fanfics. Hopefully, you’ll enjoy the chapter as much as I did. 

You don’t need to read the other chapters as they are not really connected - sort of. We haven’t entered the main plot at all so not connected as of yet. But reading chapter 6 may help you understand some of the things in this chapter. 

Summary: What if Zoro and Nami were childhood friends? How different would their lives be? Lot's of one shots set in an AU where Zoro and Nami are childhood friends. Mugiwara crew will also make an appearance. (It’s one of those close balcony friendship - cringe i know lmao, was young when I started LOL)

Rated: M (just to be safe) 

Disclaimer: One piece is not mine.

Also, Italics are what the characters are thinking. 

Zoro was completing his usual workout, but from home. He groaned, lifting the 15 kg weights for the 96th time. He needed to lift the weights 4 more times and he had to do it soon or Nami was going to barge in, ruining his schedule.

"97...98...99" he counted. He was lifting it for the last time when he smelt her signature fragrance.

"100" he grunted, dropping the weights and closing his eyes in peace. He felt her soft bosom on his back and her arms around him, as she completely pushed her body against him.

A single trail of sweat dropped from his temple to his cheek from the work out. He was too tired to push her away so he stood still, just breathing in and out to stabilise his heartbeat. However, this proved to be difficult as he could only smell her with every breath, and felt her soft small hands on his abs...wait... did he just feel her hands underneath his shirt?

"What the hell witch?" he spat, as his hands automatically stopped hers from outside of his shirt.

Nami was a flirt and loved teasing men, especially Zoro. She loved taking advantage of her beauty and loved getting her way. It was either her way or the highway. She was a greedy witch and she loved every part about it.

"Zoroooo" she said with a tone, a tone Zoro knew too well. It was a tone she used to get her way. A tone that often worked in nosebleed kun, which was not going to work on him.

"Seriously, what are you doing Nami?" he said, turning his head slightly to see what Nami was up to.

"I'm helping you remove your top." She said trying to move her hands, which was useless as Zoro clutched onto them.

"What do you want?"

"To eat." Nami said cheerfully. Today both their parents were out drinking while Nojiko was at university so it was only him and her. But their parents trusted them, hell they even encouraged to utilise their alone time and do something naughty. Nami's stepfather, Genzo, loved Zoro's wisdom and the way he respected elders. He would want nothing but for Zoro to take his no good spoilt daughter as his wife. While Zoro's father loved having Nami around and would be happy if someone, anyone could accept his muscle idiot of a son.

"And what does eating have anything to do with getting naked?" Zoro said with an eyebrow.

She withdrew her hand from underneath his t-shirt, away from his well built abs. Zoro was saddened at the departure of her warmth but was glad at the same time.

She pinched her nose, "well you kinda stink."

"Hurry and go take a shower. We are going to Baratie." she said, folding her arms, knowing Zoro was going to complain about meeting Sanji-kun.

"Baratie?" Zoro said, his voice slightly louder than he intended it to.

"Yes Baratie, Zoro, Baratie" Nami repeated it twice for her words to reach Zoro's head.

"We will be meeting up with Luffy there as well. Have a nice dinner and drink something nice. Well, Luffy won't. But we can." she said, making drinking gestures.

Zoro liked the idea of drinking with Nami. Maybe, they could resume their ongoing bet as well. Their bet of who can withstand drinks longer was still on hold as they either tie or come out drunk at the end of it. But seeing that shit head took the fun out of it.

He turned around, wiping his forehead clean with his left arm, showing off his biceps in the process. Nami's eyes fluttered to his biceps, enjoying the view he presented her.

"Will we see nosebleed kun as well?" he asked.

She made a face, "who is nosebleed kun? Don't make fun of Sanji kun." She said slapping his chest. Just to feel how hard it was and oh, it was hard.

"Just answer the damn question." he said, removing his top in front of her. His whole body seemed to be living as Nami could see each and every muscle in his body ripple against his skin whilst he removed his t-shirt. His nipples whispered hello to her and oh god, his abs. She trailed a single sweat that dropped from his neck, which made its way between his collar bone, past his chest, crossed his abs and disappeared in his belly button

"like what you see?" He said smirking at how fixated she was with his abs.

She quickly looked up to see him smirking at her, with that stupid grin. She was not gonna let him be the only winner.

"Nope, not at all." she said turning, throwing her hair to his face in the process, and moving towards the door. Zoro closed his eyes naturally and as he opened his eyes to shout some vain remarks to Nami, all he saw was her ass and hips moving side to side towards the door. She didn't need to say anything because she knew he was already looking.

"Be ready by 5 and come over as soon as you're ready." She said before leaving the room completely.

"Oh and invite law." she said with a wink.

///////////

Zoro was ready in 10 mins. He put on a simple white top, jeans and a simple black denim jacket. He looked over his balcony to the other side with a frown.

She is definitely still getting ready.

He went over anyways to pressure her into getting ready quicker, only to find her putting on a skirt that didn't fit. Zoro could see the plumps of skin near the waist of the skirt and her ass as she was struggling to put it on. She was wearing a pink lace thong that illuminated the pale skin underneath. His shameful eyes drank the scene in front of him; her buns juggled as she shook her ass to try to fit the skirt. Damn, that is one big ass, he thought. His hands twitched to slap her right cheek but he shook the thoughts away.

"I don't think that fits Nami." He spoke in a low husky voice.

His voice surprised her, causing her to trip over herself and lose her balance, falling face forward. As a result, her ass was high up in the air and Nami put herself on display for him. He choked on his own spit at the scene in front of her. And that thong was not helping, it practically covered nothing with her ass high up for him to see.

With a tint of blush, he turned around to give her privacy.

"What the hell Zoro!" she turned her head from the ground and was relieved when she found him facing the other way.

She got up and got rid of the skirt. The skirt was velvet and in the colour red. It was short enough to show her smooth legs and just long enough to cover the important parts. Although the skirt didn't fit her, she got it on a 80% sale and her first instinct was to buy it. It was a bargain and was the last piece after all! It's a shame it doesn't fit as it would definitely look good on her.

She was dressed casual for today and was wearing a white cami top with lace detailed front. She was going to wear that velvet skirt with it but decided to replace it with high waisted ripped jeans. She felt a bit exposed after Zoro found her in her thong trying to wear a skirt that didn't fit! So she decided to go with something that would cover her legs.

"Just so you know," she said putting one leg through her jeans, "I'm charging you for that." She said putting the other leg in.

"What the hell witch!" he complained.

"How dare you walk in here and try to see me naked. I didn't peg you to be a Sanji, Zoro." She said walking towards her makeup table to brush her hair. Sanji is a term they use as an inner joke to call men who basically, well, act like Sanji-kun.

After what seemed to be an appropriate time to Zoro, he turned around to state his dissatisfaction.

"Well, it's not my fault you're not ready yet. You're the one who told me to hurry and now you're the one who's not ready. How is it my fault that you're still getting dressed after an hour?"

"You tell me to come over and now, you tell me not to come over, make up your damn mind witch." He said with a frown.

"Zorrroooo, I'm a woman. I'm allowed to take time to look my best." She said in a haughty manner.

She stood up, happy with her hair and turned to him.

"This," she said waving at her body, "doesn't happen overnight. It takes me time to look this good."

He just scoffed. Although he wanted to disagree and say she wasn't all the hotshot she thought she was, he didn't want to make her change clothes, which is something she would do if he disagreed.

He went to sit on her bed and complained that she was slow again.

"Did you call Torao-kun?" She asked reapplying her lipstick one final time. She checked her makeup once more before spraying her setting spray.

"Yes woman, yes, I called your ride." He said with a displeased voice.

Zoro met Law as a child in a kendo club. He was 5 and Law was 10. Zoro was always working hard and stayed behind every time to train harder. He muttered about getting stronger and this piqued Trafalgar D. Water Law's interest in the little boy. Law always teased Zoro for being a little boy yet having big "goals", to which Zoro always challenged Law and they somehow ended in a draw everytime. After leaving the kendo club, Zoro was still close with Law and had been together in every stage of each other's life. Nami and Luffy met Law only after an incident that required Luffy to visit the hospital.

Luffy unfortunately amputated his pinky finger from one of his stupid antics. Nami freaked out so much that she almost fainted when she heard the pinky land on her bedroom floor with a tap. Zoro fortunately knew Law who was a medical student. Law was from a family of doctors and his dream was always to follow his father's footsteps. He would spend hours reading on human anatomy and diseases when he was a child. Law was very smart as a child and eventually skipped grades before he entered medical school.

Zoro remembered law immediately and asked him for first aid through the phone. As they both sounded so distressed over the phone, Law asked them to visit his hospital where he was working as a placement. Zoro and Nami rushed Luffy to the hospital while Luffy was wailing and sobbing about his missing finger. Law helped Luffy calm down and proceeded to ask routine questions about the incident before helping to reattach his finger with surgeons (one of them being his dad). Thankfully, it was a success due to the first aid Law provided. Law was so surprised at how Luffy severed his finger, somewhere along the line due to his interests in Luffy's case, he became Torao and Luffy's friend without his approval. All he said was "so how did you cut your finger?" And Luffy hasn't left him alone since then. Nami thinks it's because Luffy was hysteric over his cut pinky and thanked Torao for (in Luffy's term) "saving his life."

Oh but Zoro knew. He's been with Law for a very long time and they grew up together after all. Zoro knew that wasn't the reason why Law still hangs around Luffy and Nami, and sometimes without Zoro. He's seen the stolen glances and the way law looks at Nami. Law wouldn't be wasting his time to drive them to Barati if he didn't fancy her.

A car honk was heard from outside of Nami's window. Zoro didn't miss the small smile that crawled on Nami's face and wore an annoyed look on his own. Nami sprinted out to her balcony and waved at her older friend.

She turned around and said "let's go!"

Zoro followed her with heavy footsteps. But he still followed her, he was compliant every time and he didn't know why.

As they got nearer to the parked car, Law lowered his passenger window and Nami leaned in on the opened window, revealing her cleavage to the driver. Zoro grimaced, acutely aware of what she was doing. Nami smiled and whispered a sweet 'thank you'.

That's when it hit Zoro. This witch knew. She knew Law had a thing for her and was using him like a Sanji.

Law's eyes followed the top that slightly slid down as Nami leaned over and settled at the cleavage that revealed itself to him. Law smiled in response and gestured Nami to get in the car. To save Law's dignity, Zoro shoved Nami aside and got in the front seat.

"Hey, what the hell?" She asked, ticked off at Zoro's actions.

"Sit at the back." he said gesturing behind him to the back seat.

She pouted because now she would have to sit alone at the back but got in anyways as she was hungry.

Baratie was a beautiful and a fancy restaurant owned by Chef Zeff, who Sanji admires and sees as a father figure.

Upon arrival, they were greeted by a well-lit restaurant with full-length windows around the whole restaurant for natural light. At night, the bulbs that hung on the ceiling were lit in different colours - purple, red, yellow, all creating beautiful lighting during the night. The wall was painted an elegant white, which matched well with the light pink velvet carpet on the floor. In the centre of the restaurant, one could find stairs leading down to the kitchen and up for more seating.

The receptionist recognised the distinct hair colours of Sanji's friends and she didn't even have to ask them about their reservation. She welcomed them and took them straight to the table reserved for "Sanji's queen" as was directed by Sanji in the morning.

"Here are the menus."

She didn't recognise the guy with the tattoos but proceeded to ask the other two whether they would like to order the same as usual.

Nami closed her menu and sweetly smiled before nodding her head. Her usual at the Baratie was a medium steak with chips and red wine, while Zoro's was a signature bacon burger with melted cheese and chips. Law read through a couple of pages before ordering a classic carbonara with white wine. She nodded before proceeding to head towards the kitchen.

Nami was sitting across Zoro and Law was sitting in between them. Zoro saw Nami looking around and guessed she was looking for Sanji.

"Where's Luffy? I thought we were supposed to meet him here." Zoro asked Nami. Nami finally looked at Zoro, he doesn't know why but it felt like she hasn't looked his way today at all. Frankly speaking, Nami was too embarrassed to look at Zoro after the whole thong incident.

With her cheek on her palm, she responded "You'll see him soon enough! He was supposed to come with us but he said he'll already be here by the time we arrive."

Zoro munched on some garlic bread and asked, "Where's nosebleed Kun?"

"Who's nosebleed kun?" Law asked as he didn't remember anyone who was called that.

"Yes, Zoro, who is nosebleed kun?" Nami asked sarcastically, tilting her head to the side.

As if Sanji heard her, he came running with the drinks while singing "Nammmiiiii-swannnnn!"

"My love, my body has been waiting this whole day for this moment." Sanji said, skilfully twirling towards her, without dropping any of the drinks on his way.

"Ah, Sanji kun!" she said clapping her hands together.

"Here you go mademoiselle, one red wine." He said, kneeling down for her.

"Hey, where's my drink?" Law questioned, but it was completely ignored by Sanji.

"Thank you." Nami said lifting her hand gracefully and touching Sanji's cheek.

"I missed you so much." She cooed.

"I can't wait to eat the food your very hands made." she said touching his hands now.

"Namiii-swannn, I know our love was meant to be. For you, I've cooked only the finest and delicious food."

"Ahhh, but I don't have enough money to pay for the finest meals in your restaurant." She said with an act.

"And it's all free for you Nami-swan." Sanji said holding Nami's hand on his and lifting it lightly to kiss her hand.

She giggled.

"Great thank you, expected nothing less from you, Sanji-kun." She said rubbing his chin before looking at the two pairs of eyes watching her in shock.

"You're going to hell." Zoro stated.

"And you, how can you be so dumb you idiot cook."

"It's not free for you shitheads. You guys have to pay." Sanji said to the boys coming out of his love trance.

"Nami-ya, if you can't pay for it then I will pay for you. You don't need to resort to such...err…" His words died on his lips when she sent an angry look directed at him.

"No, thank you law. You guys owe me money, not the other way around. I don't mind a free meal but I don't want to owe you." She said in a pompous manner.

If this was a cartoon, Zoro's eyes would've literally come out of their sockets.

"How in the world is it any different to what you're doing to nosebleed kun?" Zoro said facepalming.

He could hear the 'ohhh, he's nosebleed kun' on the background as law finally put two and two together.

After handing out the drinks including Law's and Zoro's, Sanji lit his cigarette and looked at the tattooed man before him.

"Who the hell are you and why are you calling Nami-swan without honorifics you shithead?" He said, trying to intimidate law.

"Now now, calm down Sanji-kun. He's a friend." Nami introduced Law to Sanji and vice versa.

"By the way, Sanji-kun, do you know where Luffy is?"

"Oh, you didn't know? He's working with us to pay for his tab because he's a big eater." Sanji said taking another puff.

"Are waiters allowed to smoke here? What a terrible service this restaurant has." Law said as a little bit of jealousy stung him when he saw how close Nami was with this "nosebleed kun".

"Huhhhh, what did you say you tattooed shit head. Don't think I'll be intimidated by the word death tattooed on your dainty little fingers." Sanji said rolling his sleeves.

"Oh boy" Nami shook her head.

"He's a chef, not a waiter and yes, why are you waiting our table you idiot. Go back to the kitchen. I don't want to see your face, shitty cook." Zoro said crossing his arms.

"You asshole, you wanna fight. I'll take both of you on." Sanji said making a commotion on his restaurant, causing many customers to look his way now.

Once the customers started whispering about Nami's table, Patty, the rowdy chef in charge of Sanji, came out stomping his feet.

"What are you doing here Sanji? You should be inside the kitchen. You're making a fuss and disturbing other customers." He practically screamed at Sanji, making things only worse.

"Now come apologise." Patty pulled Sanji and apologised to others by bowing to the customers and forced his neck to bow as well.

As Sanji and Patty were apologising to everyone, a corner table got Nami's attention when both the customers started acting a little strange. Zoro, on the other hand, was watching Nami instead during the commotion and had seen the table that caught Nami's attention. Nami's attention was then taken away from said table by Luffy.

"Oiiii Namiiiiii, everyone, you guys made it." Luffy said cheerfully while waving his arms.

Nami's eyes widen in shock, "Luffy be careful, you're carrying a lot of food, it might all come ….."

Before she could finish the sentence, she heard a loud noise which now caught everyone's attention in the restaurant.

Luffy lost his balance and dropped all the plates of food he was carrying.

"Luffy you bastard, that better not be Nami-swan's food." Sanji said walking towards him.

Patty just screamed, knowing it was the wrong decision to hire Luffy as a chore boy. They were losing more money than making money!

Law was quiet as he watched the scene unfold before him. Sanji was beating Luffy and Patty was beating Sanji while Luffy just cried and said "shumimashe". But if it is one thing Law knows about Luffy, it is that wherever Luffy goes, trouble always seem to follow him.

Nami sighed. Great, yet another perfect day, well night, wasted. She thought.

She moaned as she got up from her seat, she was tired of the same shit happening each time they went out together. Before she could walk away, Zoro's question stopped Nami on her tracks.

"Where are you going?" He asked.

"For fresh air and away from these idiots." She said pointing at the two chefs and Luffy who was also beginning to fight back after shouting "I didn't want to work as well." on the top of his lungs.

Oh but Zoro knew. He knew where she was going, he had watched her the whole day after all.

He watched her as she walked past the trio, who were still arguing about the wasted food, and saw the path she was taking. She was planning to go towards the back door, which leads to Baratie's beautiful garden where one could enjoy food and nature together. But the table that caught her eye earlier was on her way as well.

That clever witch.

She walked towards the back door, her waist moving from left to right and then finally stopped when she was next to the table in question. He watched her as she turned her head towards the table, as if someone called her name and saw the smile that creeped on her face. As soon as she looked at the table, the two people visibly jumped and looked towards the window, avoiding Nami's gaze. To their dismay, Nami started walking towards their table.

Zoro chuckled and Law made a mental note never to go anywhere with these psychos. Two were still arguing in front of him, his food all spilled on the floor, and his friend was laughing at the sight like a psycho. Psychos, they're all psychos!

Zoro got up to follow Nami. He started to become extremely curious and wanted to know who Nami found sitting at the table.

"Well, well, well." Nami said hand on her hip.

"Isn't this a beautiful surprise." She said looking at the couple in front of her, their date apparently interrupted.

In front of her sat the student counselor, Nico Robin and Zoro's home room teacher, Cutty Flam, also known as Franky. Franky was hiding behind the menu while Robin nervously laughed.

Zoro's jaw dropped as soon as he caught up to Nami. "Franky, what the hell are you doing here and why are you with herrr!?"

Although Franky was a teacher and should have authority over his students, he often behaved like his students and was seen as a friend rather than a teacher by his pupil. He was always seen hanging around his students and giving life lessons to kids in school.

"So what is this, a first date or perhaps, a proposal?" Nami asked, walking towards the table, trying to work out whether this was a serious relationship.

Robin finally processed all the information and her brain switched on. She picked up her wine slowly and brought it to her lips. She was thinking of numerous ways to play this and was planning her next move. She finally smiled and held Franky's hand that was on the table.

"Yes, we are on a date," She smiled, "aren't you both as well?" She asked softly, her smile provoking Nami further.

Robin knew how gutless Nami was when it came to Zoro. Robin knew Nami could charm the whole world, yet she could not charm Zoro, with whom she's spent all her life with. Zoro was the only man that didn't fall under her spell and it ticked off Nami to her bones. Robin knew that and while Nami waits to make her move, Robin already made hers and was proudly showing off her results to Nami.

Nami frowned, recalling their first meeting. This was Robin's win.*

Nami also reached out to grab Zoro's hands before responding, "Whatever we do is none of your business." Nami did not want to disclose any information and give Robin the satisfaction of knowing whether they were going out or not.

"Let's go Zoro." Nami demanded and walked the other way, back to their table. Zoro didn't have much of a choice as she was still grasping his hand and pulled him towards her.

"Hey, where are you going? I thought you wanted fresh air!" Zoro asked while following Nami.

Nami turned around to face him. She was exhausted; she just got defeated in the battle of wits with Robin and she was hungry! She was hungry and all she wanted to do was eat and drink. She looked at Luffy who was now planning on quitting the job as a chore boy. She wanted to get away, away from all the drama and just eat, something, anything. Just as she was about to suggest going elsewhere for food, as if Zoro read her mind, Zoro asked Nami, "Wanna ditch them and go to a bar for food and drinks?"

Nami has never been happier.

"But what about Law?"

"Screw him, he'll find his way back."

Nami was happy, extremely happy with where she was with Zoro. They are good friends and understand each other well. Sure, they argue from time to time but he (yes, I said he) will always compromise for her and isn't that what a relationship is all about. She has it all and she didn't want to lose what she has with what she could have. She would rather have him near her as a friend than lose him forever. So asking him out can wait just a little longer.

"Okay."

This time, it was his turn to pull her towards the exit of the restaurant. It was going to be just him and her, just the way it should be. And the rest can starve to death, for all Zoro cares.

"Zoro, that's the wrong way!"

"Damn, it!"

/////

* Reference to chapter 6. 

Hope you enjoyed it.

Hope you have a good day/afternoon/evening/night. :) 

[makeste]

not a cavalcade of Katsuki panels

damn, anon. you stone cold came for me with that last part. and just fyi to all onlookers, this was before I had posted the headcanons ask proving this exact point lmao.

but a challenge has been issued now! so I will do my best to pick a variety of impartial panels featuring a veritable medley of characters. not sure I can really provide much in the way of insightful analysis of symbolism and metaphors and stuff, but I can certainly type a lot of words about the pretty pictures, and about how cool people look when they’re standing around all serious surrounded by clouds of billowing smoke.

why I like it: I figured we’d start off strong. no point in holding back. can the other panels possibly even hope to compete. maybe. we’ll see.

why I like it: because, you see, he punched a giant robot, and it exploded. you see that, there? and the text was all “SMAASH” in humongous comic book letters, and it was pretty cool. also Deku is very tiny and the robot is very big. and just to clarify, most of the time if a tiny fifteen-year-old child tries to punch an 80-foot robot, it’s not actually going to go all that well, and the robot probably will not explode. but in this case it did! and so this is a very novel and unexpected outcome, which makes it all the more visually striking, which is a very good thing to be when you are trying to show off the brand new superpower which your protagonist just inherited, and letting people see it in action for the very first time.

why I like it: so you may have noticed we just skipped a whoooole bunch of chapters lol. this is because there are almost 300 of them, and so I’m going to have to use a bit of discretion. anyway so this is a gorgeous panel. just, everything about it. the lighting; the expressions; Shouto’s hesitation; and his mom facing away, not looking back yet, and us not yet knowing how she’ll react. and the fact that they’re visually separated by as much distance as possible -- at opposite ends of a two-page spread -- and yet they’re so close, closer than they’ve been in years. mm. anyway it’s pretty.

why I like it: first of all because there’s nothing like seeing a deserving character get punched in the fucking face, and few characters IMO have been as deserving as Stain. and second because this is Deku, showing up to save the day out of nowhere at the last minute, because excuse you, but he’s a motherfuckin’ hero. sorry to interrupt your evening plans of stabbing a kid while lecturing him about why, philosophically, he deserves to die. but I’ve got a package here for a Mister Stain. it’s from Mister Smaassh, with two A’s and three S’s.

why I like it: fyi, anon said nothing about a cavalcade of BakuDeku panels. you didn’t think I’d let that loophole go to waste, did you? but nonetheless I will try to restrain myself until we get to the second ground beta fight. anyway, I like this panel because All Might’s canonically 7′2″ self looks about twelve feet tall here, and he is just TOWERING over these two boys, who’ve been tasked with somehow outwitting him during this curiously sadistic final exam. and it’s just an interesting perspective, because we know they both look up to him, and here they are physically looking way, way up, up, up at him.

why I like it: now this is how you do a villain entrance. I love absolutely everything about this. the sheer scale of destruction, and the way he’s just sort of casually hanging out there in the middle of the panel almost dwarfed by all this dust and smoke and carnage, and yet is unquestionably the focus of the page. the way that you can’t actually see his face, not yet. not until the end of the chapter. the way the clouds are drifting so calmly and peacefully in the night sky in stark contrast to the horrific events that are about to take place on the ground. this panel gives me literal chills, especially when I think about All for One’s creepy theme music playing in the background.

why I like it: this panel is so iconic to me that it’s one of the first ones I immediately knew I had to go and find when I got this ask. this entire fight is perfection from start to finish, and there are other panels that are more artistically striking if I’m being honest (in particular, the ones where he’s half-transformed with his face perfectly split down the middle between Muscle Might and Skinny Steve). but there’s just something about his determination in this panel, though. something about the fire in his eyes, and the way he clenches his fist. “my heart is still the heart of the Symbol of Peace.” I remember being sooooo fucking anxious when his true form was revealed, wondering if this was it, if the people watching were going to turn on him, if he was going to lose both the fight and their faith. turns out I was wrong on both accounts. basically what I am trying to tell you guys is that this panel was and is still the most badass thing I’ve ever seen.

why I like it: because he’s just a frail old man doing what he can to protect the last flickering embers of the thing that enables him to fight on. there’s something so fucking desperate and yet so determined about this image. he knows it’s futile, but still he persists.

why I like it: damn it was hard to find a “you’re next” panel with just the right angle I like best. this is probably as close as it gets, but I kind of wish Deku was somehow visible in this image as well. but at any rate this is an amazing moment, and All Might is dramatic af for basically no reason but IT’S BADASS. “no I’m not going to actually look where I’m pointing. it’s cooler this way.” or was it because he wasn’t sure if he could keep the emotion off of his face if he actually turned and looked? in this moment of knowing that it was finally over for him, that he would never be the Symbol again, and knowing that he had no choice but to move on and entrust that burden to the next generation? damn.

why I like it: I... fucking... okay, here’s a fun fact. did you know that I still get emotional over this panel almost a full two years after reading it?? obviously a good 84% of it is the context -- All Might losing his power; Deku being forced to take up the mantle before he feels ready; All Might feeling responsible for him; and both of them being so desperately grateful to have each other in that moment. but don’t underestimate that remaining 16% either though! this is just an extremely well-drawn hug, on top of everything else. All Might pressing Deku’s head to his shoulder with his fingers laced in his hair is some mighty fine fiercely protective hug tropes there, you guys. and the way Deku is clinging to his shirt so tightly his knuckles have probably gone white?? while he cries?? while both of them cry? ON THE BEACH? WITH THE WAVES LAPPING SOFTLY AT THE SHORE IN THE PEACEFUL NIGHT AIR?? jesus fucking christ. this hug contains more emotions than I am capable of carrying inside me at once. I just sort of have to let them flow in and out little by little until they finally subside.

why I like it: you bet I skipped right from Kamino straight to Deku VS Kacchan Part 2. no regrets. anyway, so these two panels are an absolutely gorgeous one-two punch. so much has changed from the days when they were innocent little kids marching off into the woods to have adventures. they’ve changed. their relationship has changed. and yet, at the end of the day, Izuku is still willing to follow Katsuki even without being given any kind of explanation. and Katsuki still seeks out Izuku when he’s on the verge of having a spectacular emotional breakdown. because he doesn’t know who else to turn to. and because despite everything, there is trust there still, on some deep, fundamental level neither of them fully understands or knows how to acknowledge. anyway, so these two panels just give me a ton of feels all about the passage of time and how everything changes and how you can’t get back what’s lost, but also sometimes if you look deep enough you find that parts of it were never fully gone.

why I like it: because in a striking display of dramatic main character energy, these boys decided to stage their life-changing destiny-affirming rival fight on the coolest possible stage in the middle of the goddamn night. and then Katsuki made it even better by producing WAY MORE SMOKE than his attack by all rights should have produced! and then they went and crouched down all symmetrically so as to more poetically make intense eye contact at each other. I really like panels with smoke and/or dust clearing dramatically. there are like four more of them coming up on this list. what can I say. it’s cinematic.

why I like it: I actually had this one as my icon for a while. it’s rare imo to see an action panel that’s so balanced and has so much going on and is so clean and easy to read. both of their poses are so dynamic. I like the way the arc of Izuku’s kick is drawn, and I love the way you can clearly see that Katsuki propelled himself backwards with his quirk in order to dodge it. it’s just a really cool little panel that for me perfectly sums up the general feel of this fight, and its awesome choreography.

why I like it: actually you know what, before I go any further, let me skip ahead a bit and add three more panels with this same energy.

I just really, really love these rare moments when all differences between them are momentarily forgotten and they’re just two teenage boys caught up in the intense pressure of an awkward social situation. the one enemy neither of them is the least bit equipped to handle. anyways Horikoshi clearly enjoys it too because he seems to delight in drawing it over and over and over.

why I like it: because it’s more billowing smoke and dust. because it’s Endeavor, the guy we all swore we would never ever root for, and then 160 chapters later Horikoshi pulls this shit without an ounce of shame. because it’s All Might’s pose, but tweaked juuuuuust enough so that Enji can avoid copyright claims. because he knew that pose well enough to know which arm not to use. because Endeavor is a profoundly flawed human being, wholly incapable of filling the void All Might left behind. and yet he still tries. because it’s better than nothing, and because it’s all he can do. it’s the one thing he can do, his sole redeeming virtue. he tries. he doesn’t give up. anyway so yeah, Horikoshi didn’t have to take the single most unlikable person in the entire manga and give him the world’s most controversial and openly scorned redemption arc. but he did! and I think it’s one of the best things about this entire manga.

why I like it: because nothing in BnHA is just black and white!! it’s messy and layered and complex, just like in the real world. Shouto despised his dad for almost his entire life. with good reason! Enji was abusive and selfish and treated his son more like a prized possession than a person. we as readers are fully aware of all of this, and we sympathize with Shouto 100%, and that’s completely by design. Horikoshi is well aware of this. so for him to still give us this little moment, where Shouto is so relieved that Enji survived that he drops to the floor and presses his face against his hands in this little prayer gesture -- whatever you think it might mean -- is just so fucking powerful, and again speaks to his commitment to refusing to let anything in this series be completely clear-cut and unambiguous. I love that the characterization of Shouto and Natsu hating their dad exists side by side with the equally authentic characterization of them being terrified that they’re about to watch him die. because those two things aren’t contradictory! sometimes that’s just how it is. anyway so this is a beautiful moment of nuance that instantly adds so much to this relationship with just a single panel.

why I like it: for once the symbolism is so obvious that even I can’t fail to miss it! Izuku’s face half in light and half in shadow as he thinks about the power bestowed on him. “All for One’s power.” anyway so in my mind Izuku having AFO could not be any more fucking foreshadowed if he was wearing a freaking t-shirt with the Musketeers saying on it and the background was peppered with little Sistine Chapel-esque images of AFO giving his quirk to his brother lmao. but regardless of how it does end up playing out, this is nicely done.

why I like it: I wasn’t sure whether I should include this image, given that I just made a whole separate post about it a few days ago. but I just really like it, okay. this is one of the all-time great entrances in the series. Bakugou being perched on that pole for absolutely no reason other than to add visual interest. Todoroki’s hair blowing dramatically in the wind. Katsuki’s frayed pant hems and characteristically asymmetrical facial expression. the fact that you just know both of them spent the ride home with their faces pressed to the windows of their taxi cab hoping desperately for an opportunity to break in their brand new licenses, and then lo and behold. that’s amazing you guys. it’s almost like you’re main characters or something.

why I like it: they did great.

why I like it: because I lost my fucking shit at this fucking reveal and can you even blame me?? we knew coming in how much trouble Endeavor and Hawks had dealing with just one of these Noumus, and then Horikoshi goes and divulges that the villains have at least A DOZEN MORE waiting on standby. including Hood right there in the foreground, which is a fantastic touch! this panel, for me, almost instantaneously established the League as a legitimate threat once again, and gave me the kind of spine-tingly evil vibes I hadn’t felt since the Kamino arc. and while the payoff might not quite have lived up to my expectations, the Mirko fight at least was more than worth it.

why I like it: BILLOWING SMOKE AND DUST CLOUDS. you just see this vast landscape of destruction that Tomura has oh-so-casually wrought, and this once-powerful enemy utterly defeated on his hands and knees bowing before him. and it’s just like, oh. Tomura just became a fucking king, didn’t he. he finally stepped up and became the main villain. really the main villain, not just an awkward fumbling NEET whose adopted dad is not-so-secretly pulling all the strings. he did this himself. he went out and conquered and Awakened and won himself a fucking army. and he’s just standing there so cool and casual in the aftermath of it all. and then he goes “oh wait, you guys have money right, that means you can buy us the good sushi.” yes, Tomura. yes.

why I like it: um because this panel is fucking amazing?? hello?? do I really need to explain this one. the detail is jaw-dropping. he’s got the little scars which are either from the head wound that caused his death, or from his Noumufication. his expression is fucking heartbreaking, and the transition from Kumo to Kuro is so subtle and seamless, and yet it distinctly is both of them. this panel is gorgeous and fucking haunting and almost made me gasp when I first saw it.

why I like it: the decision to have the night sky take up so much of the space in the panel was [chef kiss]. nothing says existential like the night sky on a cold winter’s night.

why I like it: this is the best panel in the entire fucking series.

why I like it: dude. showing his actual family holding onto him with their hands in the same spot as the severed fashion!hands was a stroke of genius in and of itself. but combining that with the emotional tension of them desperately trying to hold him back and protect him from AFO?? that’s just so fucking smooth it’s almost inhuman. just how much meaning can you cram into a single image?? sometimes I wonder just how far in advance Horikoshi plans these things.

why I like it: guess I’m just a big fat sucker for panels of Tomura calmly standing around in the ruins of his own senseless destruction. the sense of scale on this one is really great, too. and yet again, those dust clouds. gotta love it.

why I like it: because Tomura literally appears out of nowhere, like he’s ripping a hole through the fabric of time and space. it’s so fucking sudden and he looks evil as FUCK, and Deku and Kacchan are totally caught off-guard, and it is scary. this is one of those panels that made me say “holy shit” out loud. in fact I practically screamed it. and the angles are all funky and weird, and the sky is all BLACK FOR NO REASON, and it really just feels like Tomura could reach right over and just MURDER THEM like it was nothing. just like that. this panel is so incredibly effective at conveying how hopelessly outclassed the boys are. they’re not even in his league, and it’s honestly terrifying.

and on that happy note, we have come to the end of my list of favorite panels! and I gotta say, it’s really gratifying that a good deal of them are from this year alone. I said it in another post a few days ago, but imo the overall quality of the series has been insanely high as of late, and it honestly just blows my mind whenever I stop to think about it. the art is still this good six years into the game. the story is still this good. we are spoiled goddammit.

[irwinkitten]

quarantine and chill | poly!lashton

notes: so as some of you may know, i got hit with covid-19. i’d kept socials updated with my symptoms and how i was dealing with it but i’ve been quite on the aftermath of what i went through. so i did what i do best, i wrote. similar with teulu, i decided to write it out in the form of a fic. a lot of what happens is what i’ve had to struggle through with regards to recovery and what i’m still struggling with. there is a lot that i haven’t really talked about with it either, however i got the main points down and just wrote. if i was feeling better, i’d probably have shifted it to an oc but this felt much too personal to do. i was debating on whether or not this was going to be posted. at first i wasn’t, then i wasn’t sure. i finally decided to because i enjoy writing and i enjoy giving people something to read, something to enjoy. i also decided on poly!lashton mostly because of the interview on one of the instagram lives where ash said he cooks and i think it was with @sexgodashton​ where were talking about how ashton would mother hen you when you’re sick lmao and then i got daydreamy because i’ve been dealing with the whole situation alone and it’s difficult when your loved ones (both friends and family) are too far away and unable to be with you. i’m rambling at this point but yeah, tldr; this is really personal on how i recovered from that godforsaken virus. warnings: talks of dying, depression, sickness word count: 9k (oops)

donate to my ko-fi here

-

When you’d come home from closing up the store, it had been an almost nightmarish day for you. It felt surreal that the store was closing until further notice and you had no idea when you were going to even be back in your job again.

What frustrated you was the fact that you hadn’t been able to book a flight out to LA before the travel bans kicked in, leaving you to be self-isolating in your apartment for the duration of the lockdown, alone.

Luke and Ashton had both voiced their complaints, but no amount of money being thrown at the problem wasn’t getting you back to LA with them.

 “How are you feeling?” Ashton asked over facetime whilst you tidied up. The simplicity of living in communal housing meant that you only had two rooms to tidy and keep clean. Luke and Ashton loved it for the fact that it afforded the three of you some privacy away from prying eyes of the media because you were tight-lipped about where you lived.

“Tired. I’ve cried a lot and I’m missing the both of you.” You admitted quietly as Luke popped into the screen, his head resting on Ashton’s shoulder. His lips wore a tired smile, one that you could match.

“We’re missing you too, love.” Luke’s voice was comforting. You finally settled down on the couch, your body sinking into the cushions and sighed.

“You know you don’t have to worry right? Ash and I are gonna help you.” The reassurance from Luke made your lips twitch up.

“I know. I’m just frustrated. They should have made this decision well over a week ago.” 

Neither of them could say much against that. You’d told the company bosses that you were at risk, you’d warned them that the store wouldn’t pull in enough money to warrant staying open for the week.

But they’d simply said that they were following government guidelines. It had been nothing but frustration for the three of you.

“Are you both home finally?” Your question was much quieter and Ashton grimaced. 

“Because I have a cough, they’ve organised us to be quarantined since we’re together. They’ve done the tests but I don’t think it’s anything, I think it’s just allergies playing up since I’ve been sneezing non stop.” Ashton explained and you sighed.

“Irony at its finest.” You received sad smiles in return from your boys.

“I’ve got some last minute paperwork to finish up and send off since I couldn’t do so at the shop. How about I call you both tomorrow?” Luke pouted and you giggled at the expression, your heart lifting that little bit.

“Fine but next time I’m hogging the phone.” Luke muttered and you laughed before blowing them both a kiss.

“Love you both, I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” 

The paperwork was easy to finish off and left you a few hours to shower and change whilst tidying up around. 

When you crawled into bed, you checked your phone to see a photo of the two of them snuggled up together, Ashton practically smothering Luke. You sent them one back of you with the bear they’d gotten you, sprayed in their cologne. 

When you woke up the next day, there was only a slight difference, your blocked nose making you groan. 

“Fucking allergies.” Was muttered as you made your way to the bathroom, waving to one of your neighbours who was just leaving the kitchen.

You’d decided to stock up on food, making quick work of the short walk. It was nice to be able to still move about in the fresh air at least, offering a small, yet nervous smile at the cashier as you paid for your shopping, packed it in your bag and made your way home.

Before you even realised it, you’d settled on the couch and fallen asleep, wrapped up in your fluffy blanket, eyes heavy as you set an alarm. 

You slept through the alarm and when you next woke up, there were three missed facetimes from Luke. You called him back immediately.

“There’s the love of our lives.” Luke crowed when he answered, making you laugh. It was followed by a cough which made Luke pause, his eyes studying the screen. “Said love of our lives doesn’t look too well.” The concern was evident and you rolled your eyes.

“It’s probably allergies and my body finally relaxing from the last three weeks of stress.” Luke didn’t look convinced but you managed to switch the conversation. “Did you find out the results of Ashton’s test?” 

“Yeah, he came up negative. Since we’ve been quarantined for what, three weeks now? We’ll probably be on the next essential flight back home. But that won’t be for another week from what they’ve said. We both agreed to hang back long enough to let other people go ahead.” You frowned at that.

“But baby, you guys need to be back for the launch.” He shook his head.

“Ash was quite forceful with management on this one. There isn't going to be any kind of physical launch so we’re cleared to be delayed, just as long as we have a good wifi connection for the weekend for the various streams.” You sighed but understood their concerns. 

“How is our no longer sick drummer boy?” You finally asked and as if he was waiting for the question, he all but piled himself on top of Luke, a muffled whine escaping as he tried to shove Ashton off him.

You laughed.

“Behave children otherwise no rewards.” You teased them, making the two of them laugh as they settled themselves  down on the sofa they were on.

The conversation was easy between the three of you as they both excitedly discussed the possible plans they had for the album release, relying on them being home on time to do so.

“It wouldn’t do well to be still in the air when we do the release party, but knowing our luck...” Ashton trailed off, making you snort.

“Knowing our luck, that’s what would happen.” You grinned and he rolled his eyes.

“Probably.” 

The three of you talked until you were dropping off, and despite voicing their concerns, you waved them off, pointing out that you always got like this during allergy season. Ashton didn’t argue the point, but Luke still frowned in concern.

“We love you, sunshine. Get some decent rest please.” He’d pleaded with you and you gave them both a gentle smile in return, hoping that it was at least semi-reassuring.

“I’ll be fine, but I’ll go to bed. Love you two.” 

“Love you more.” Came the unified response before the call dropped and you settled back asleep.

Part of you knew that you should’ve realised that they had every right to be concerned when you woke up the following morning.

Your entire body was aching. And what concerned you most was the tightness across your chest coupled with the pain radiating across your body.

When you checked your temperature, you felt your stomach sink at the fact that your fever had crept up and was alarmingly high. So you called the helpline, putting the phone on speaker whilst you waited to get through, sending a text to the group chat you had with your boyfriends.

‘Woke up with fever and body hurts. Struggling to breath too so checking in with the helpline to see what i need to do. Don’t know if I’m gonna be up for calling later bc I wanna sleep.’ 

You felt bad but you could already feel the drowsiness pull at your body. 

When you got through and described your symptoms, the lady on the other end advised you to self-isolate and upon the symptoms getting worse, to call the emergency services.

You relayed the information back to Luke and Ashton before falling asleep after taking some medication, trying to desperately ignore how much your body ached as you slept.

The first few days, it felt like you’d been run over with a truck repeatedly, but what concerned you was the pain that was radiating from your kidneys. Both Luke and Ashton knew of your previous history with kidney failure and both had been urging you to go into the hospital, but you’d couldn’t help but feel that it wasn’t that bad.

By day four, both of your boyfriends were worried because you’d mentioned to them that you were unable to breath properly. It was late at night, but with the pain reaching an overwhelming point, you knew it was pointless to argue. Even your friends had been urging you to contact the helpline once more.

You’d been on hold for over an hour as the pain got worse. You were struggling to focus and it was everything you could do to try and breathe through the agony that was radiating through your body, so you cut off from the hold music and contacted the emergency services. 

This time fear started to settle into your stomach as you answered the questions posed to you, trying to get across that it wasn’t a block of flats but a shared home.

The operator understood and urged you to get help from your neighbours to at least let the crew into the building. You were nervous enough about standing up by yourself but you managed.

When you stood from your bed, the walk to the door, even though it was five steps away, the agony that shot up your legs had you stumbling into the door. 

Pulling it open, despite your neighbour’s door being six feet away, you knew you weren’t going to be able to stumble that far. The pain was steadily getting worse and tears started falling down your cheeks.

“Can someone help?” You finally got out, gasping for a breath once the words were out. Your neighbour was quick to open the door and knew something was wrong.

“What’s happened, are you okay?” 

“Can’t breathe. Called medics, but need someone to let them in.” You gasped out and he nodded, taking a step closer.

“Lets sit you down and I’ll get one of the others to go and wait for them.” The firm grip on your arms supported you, your own hands grasping his arms to keep you from falling as he slowly walked you back to the edge of your bed, setting you down gently.

The pain receded slightly.

“I’m gonna prop the door open and get one of the others to come and give me a hand, is that okay?” And you could only nod tearfully as you tried to take in slow breaths, despite the pain that was radiating from your chest.

With the door propped open, you could hear him banging on the other doors, calling for help and explaining the situation. The hallway wasn’t very long but their voices carried down to you as you tried, and failed, to calm down.

And then the medics were there, pulling the blanket from your shoulders despite how cold you were feeling.

“It’s because of the fever, your body is already warm, you won’t be helping yourself with the blankets.” 

They asked various questions and you tried to answer in the gasping breaths, but then the pain shot up and it felt like you couldn’t breathe.

“Okay, we’re getting you to the hospital.” 

You could barely move, but between the medic and your neighbour, they managed to get the things you needed and help you down the stairs. It took much longer, but you knew that rushing wasn’t going to help and the pain was pushing close to hitting 10 for you. 

Once in the ambulance, you had a cannula inserted, laughing breathlessly between your tears at the first failed attempt and the second attempt to find a vein. 

When you reached the hospital, waiting to hear where you needed to be taken, you finally got out your phone, the morphine hindering your ability to focus, hitting the audio button instead to send a voice note to your now worried boyfriends.

“At the hospital. Been given some morphine but still hurts. Missing you and love you lots.” You could barely keep your eyes open, the words slurring together. The medic gave you a kind smile.

“Partner?” You nodded, the motion making you feel nauseous. 

“Need to drive to the other side, they’ve got a specific ward set up.” You heard and realised belatedly that the driver must have turned up. The drive was short and finally you were helped from the vehicle into a waiting wheelchair. You were too tired to protest and you knew it would be quicker for you to get situated.

You could hear them talking, explaining your medical history and the symptoms you were displaying. Part of your mind was listening but the other part of your mind was wondering how Ashton and Luke were. 

You missed them.

Once in a room, the nurses took over and did some more tests. Eventually you were left alone, your fever creeping higher despite the fact that you felt so cold. You were tired, but the pain that was radiating from your kidneys and joints, it was enough to keep you awake, unable to relax to sleep. 

Your phone was going off every few minutes, various people messaging you, making sure that you were okay. The only ones you were really replying to were Luke and Ashton, but even then it was sparse. 

It didn’t stop them from worrying.

When the doctor on shift came into your bare room, it took every effort to focus on her words.

“We’ve taken some bloods to help rule out any other possibilities, despite displaying symptoms of the virus. When we have the first results of your bloods back, we’ll be moving you onto one of the wards, so it should be another hour or so.” 

You nodded your head, eyes heavy as you let out a tired sigh.

“Any idea of how long I’ll be here for?” Despite the mask in place, you could see her cheeks lifting up into what you assumed was a smile.

“Less than 24 hours, I’d assume. Try to get some rest, another nurse will be taking some obs in about an hour, before you need to be moved hopefully.” You nodded tiredly, curling up on your side. It seemed to be the only relief you could find.

You drifted in and out, the stark quietness of your room so different to the usual noises you had of cars passing by or Ashton and Luke’s steady breathing.

 When the nurse came back in, you were beyond exhausted. You felt nauseous and the pain wasn’t receding. 

“We’re going to be moving you instead, they’ll do all the obs that they need once you’re settled in the room. I’m just waiting on the porters.” You nodded tiredly as she unplugged your phone charger and placed your bag at the bottom of the bed.

You kept your face turned into the pillow, the lights hurting your eyes. 

“Sensitive to the light?” Came a kind voice, you could only let out a muffled noise of agreement. When you were wheeled into the room, the light was dimmed down and you felt more relaxed. 

Glancing at the time you hadn’t realised it’d been so long. The numbers read 7am and you could feel your body shaking, your mind taking a minute to catch up with the fact that you were cold.

The next few hours were difficult. You went from being too hot to freezing cold, the pain creeping up as you tried to curl in on yourself to warm up. Even with additional blankets, you were still shaking, teeth chattering when you tried to talk.

When they took the second round of bloods, you didn’t offer any argument, simply holding out your arm for them to take the blood from. Things were getting hazy and you couldn’t focus on the nurse as he spoke to you about what was going to happen. 

You knew some of it was tiredness. Despite the mini naps you were having, you hadn’t slept solidly in nearly 48 hours. 

“We’re going to be coming in to do the test in a moment.” You found yourself confused as a different nurse explained what was going to happen and she took her time to make sure you understood each part. 

Once it was done, your cough having flared up after having the swab hit the back of your throat you noticed that you had missed calls.

‘How did I not hear them?’ You thought to yourself, confused. You clicked on the notification and realised it was Luke that had been calling.

“Hi angel, we were just checking in.” His voice seemed to set off the tears, unable to understand why you were so tearful. But he heard the sniffle. 

“Sweetheart, I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this. You know we’re here for you.” 

“I just wanna be home with you two.” You choked out, a cough escaping, the motion making you feel sick. 

“I know angel, what have the doctors said?” You tried to steady your breathing so you wouldn’t set your coughing off again. 

“Two weeks self quarantine.” You finally got out, wiping a few stray tears away. You heard the two of them sigh in unison. 

“Maybe we could—”

“Ash no. If they are sick with the virus, it’s likely to just pass between the three of us.” Luke interrupted and you had to hold back the sob. 

“I’m scared.” You finally admitted quietly and tried to stop the sob that was crawling up your throat. You knew that if you’d started, you were most likely not going to stop. 

“Baby.” Ashton whispered and you sucked in a deep breath, determined not to ask the question. 

“Lu’s right. It’d just pass between the three of us. I should have maybe another week of symptoms.” Your voice was quiet but they heard you. 

“We’re not going home.” Luke’s voice finally filtered through. “Not with you being in hospital and not with you being so sick. We’re staying in a hotel till your symptoms die down and then we’re gonna come and look after you.” 

You couldn’t even argue with them. They were both as stubborn as mules and having them would make the recovery easier with some help. 

“How are you gonna get here?” You finally gasped out. 

“We’ve got a rented car. We extended it the day you got sick.” You felt your heart warm at their words.

“Okay.” You finally muttered. 

Eventually you were discharged with medication for the fever and a reminder to keep your fluid intake up at least. 

The journey back was exhausting. 

The medic was kind enough to chat to you about your job, about Luke and Ashton. He didn’t bat an eyelash when you mentioned them both. He was quick to help you figure out where the turning was, especially in the dark. And he helped you to the door of the building. 

Just the journey up the stairs was tiring, and your neighbours heard you arrive, the three of them checking that you were okay. 

“Until my breathing gets worse, I can self manage at home. However, I need rest and my body currently feels like I’ve been run over multiple times.” 

One of them checked about collecting your food shop the following morning and you smiled in return before getting into your bedroom and collapsing on the bed. 

You made sure that your phone charger was plugged in before sending a text to Luke and Ashton saying you were home. It was barely another five minutes before you fell into a fitful sleep. 

The following day you were woken to a knock on your door, but you could barely move. Sleep had been scarce and your joints felt so heavy. 

“Don’t try and get up! Just letting you know that I’m off to get your shopping! I should be back in an hour or so.” Your neighbour called through the door and you felt a little bit of relief flood you at that. 

“Thanks!” You called back before coughing, twisting sharply to the side where the bowl lay, your body aching when the coughing stopped.

You’d had the bowl lay there since the night before you’d gone into hospital, terrified that the coughing would lead you to throwing up. You weren’t good with vomit at the best of times but this was another level. 

Collapsing onto your back, taking in slow deep breaths as you tried to calm your heart down, you took a few moments before taking some meds, pulling the covers off your body to help you cool down. This was the one thing about fever that wasn’t fun for you.

You ended up napping on and off, unable to pay attention to your phone at the various texts coming through from concerned friends before there was another knock on the door which jolted you awake, despite feeling disorientated.

“I’m leaving the bags just outside your doors! Give me a couple of minutes and I’ll have them all up.” You didn’t reply as you heard the hallway door shut, and instead slowly moved to collect one of the face masks you’d been given, slipping it on with ease before grabbing disinfectant wipes. 

You ignored the dizziness that caught you off guard, taking a steadying breath as you waited, leaning heavily against the door.

“Right, they’re all there for you chicken!” Your neighbours voice was more distant and you hesitantly opened the door. He was standing halfway down the hallway, a kind smile on his face.

“How are you feeling today?” The concern was genuine and you could only shrug.

“A lot of pain. Not sleeping well.” You got out breathlessly. He frowned.

“Well if you need anything, you’ve got my number now, so just give me a text, especially if you need any drinks. You take care of yourself now.” You lifted your hand in acknowledgement before propping open the living room door and heading in there where your fridge sat.

When the food was put away, you were half staggering the few steps back to your bed, barely getting your mask off and on your desk before you half collapsed on your bed.

Glancing at your phone there was a missed call from Ashton.

“Hi love, you weren’t responding so we figured to call you.” His voice was hesitant when you’d accepted the call.

“Everything hurts Ash.” You finally sobbed, your body protesting the movement, but in that moment you couldn’t care. You missed them both and with the combined pain, it didn’t help.

“Baby.” Luke’s voice was soft and you knew they were worried, but you were too far gone to understand their worries. You just wanted them.

“Want you both, and can’t even have that because of this fucking virus.” You got out a cough ending the sentence as you tried to catch your breath and not choke.

“Calming breaths sweetheart. You’re okay.” Ashton soothed immediately and you tried to follow his instructions. But everything hurt. There was a sharp pain in your chest, coupled with the pain in your lower back as well as the joint aches. It practically burned you.

“Do you think you can manage a shower later, love? It might help.” Luke’s voice was hesitant once you were calm enough and you took in a deep breath.

“Maybe.” You got out, your voice quieter and they knew you were tired.

“Rest for a bit angel, see if you can try and get a few hours at least.” Ashton encouraged and you could feel the heaviness wash over you as you settled down.

“Love you both.” You tiredly got out before you let yourself sink into sleep, taking a slow deep breath as you did.

You didn’t hear their returned words or them cutting the call, you’d fallen asleep easily and your body relaxed just a little bit as you slept.

When you next woke up, it was dark. Making sure that you were at least drinking, you had another glass of juice followed by some water before pulling yourself up to take a shower. You texted them both and your best friend to let them know you’d slept some and you were about to attempt a shower.

It was slow going, trying to keep yourself upright, but the steam helped clear your sinuses, making sure you got every part of you with the scrubber before just standing under the shower, your hands pressed into the cold tiles to keep you upright. 

It’d been thirty minutes by the time you’d returned to your room, feeling more tired than when you’d first woken, so you took the opportunity to try and get more sleep. 

That was when the coughing became so violent at two in the morning that you felt like you were practically choking on air, unable to catch a breath until you’d rolled onto your side and something cleared enough for you to take a gasping breath, your heart racing so fast that you had to call your best friend to calm down.

It became frightening as days began to pass and you could barely recall them, your mind confused and muddled with exhaustion mixed in with the hunger that was plaguing you. But when you’d eaten, your body had rejected the food immediately so you didn’t try again. 

By day ten, you were struggling. You’d cried far too much and your body felt like lead. You knew that both Luke and Ashton were concerned at this point, knowing that this was the point where either you’d start to get better or it could get worse.

Two days later, between fitful nap and gasping breaths after a coughing fit, your phone went off.

It was Ashton.

“Baby?” You got out tiredly, keeping measured breaths as you sat up slowly.

“Take a look outside your bedroom window.” You frowned, moving to the otherside of the room, leaning enough to peer out of your open window before a sob escaped.

They both stood there, arms laden with bags. Both were looking up at you.

“Reckon you can come let us in angel? Lu and I are gonna commandeer your living room ‘till you’re better.” It took everything in you not to go racing down the stairs. You knew it would set you back further so you took hesitant breaths before looking back to your phone then you heard a voice in the hallway.

You were quick enough to catch your neighbour as he was heading back to his room.

“You alright there petal?” His voice was concerned and you held your hand up indicating you needed a moment to catch your breath. He waited patiently.

“My, my partners, they’re downstairs with some shopping and taking over my living room till I’m better. Could you let them in for me please?” You were hesitant in asking, but the pleading eyes you had seemed to have his shoulders wilt as he took a step forward.

“I take it they’re gonna be self-isolating for the two weeks they need to?” You nodded. 

“I’ve got to wait seven days after my fever stops as it is before I can even be in the same room as them. I know that they’re worried and being so far hasn’t really helped.” He smiled kindly.

“Got you, petal. Get back in and I’ll go get them for you.” 

You could hear their voices get closer and it took everything in you not to throw yourself out of the room at them. You didn’t want them to get sick.

“Delivered safely petal, feel better soon.” Your neighbour called and you tried not to let out a sob.

“Hi angel.” It took everything in you not to open the door. You had to clench your hands into a fist, head resting on the door.

“I don’t know what’s harder. You both being away, or you being so close but I can’t even see you.” You let out a choked cough and Luke let out a soothing noise.

“Well we’ve got you some good wifi now, and we’re here for you angel. We’ve got a couple of streams and you best be watching when we go live.” You let out a breathless giggle. They were there.

The first few days were the hardest. They’d leave cartons of juice and bottles of water outside your door. It finally added to fruit when you managed to keep an orange down.

Watching them do the streams from your living room was strange, but it seemed to settle your anxiety that they were so close. You could see it was being brought up about their shared change of scenery which prompted them to explain after you’d texted Ashton and told him that it was okay for them to know about your situation.

“So our partner, well they got pretty sick at the start of last week. We were already stuck in the UK at this point, so we just extended it so that we’d be with them when they got better. None of us handle being sick alone very well.” This made the other three laugh. You grinned.

“I think that extends to the rest of the band too.” Luke piped up, making the other two complain loudly. You giggled before coughing violently.

“Oops. As you can probably hear, it got real bad and real close by the end of last week. It’s why we were so distracted on the live because we were so worried. When they told us that they’d slept for a solid six hours last night, we made the drive back to theirs, shopping in tow to help look after them. We can’t see them, and Luke and I are stuck on the couch for the next two weeks at least, but we couldn’t just fly out and leave them alone.” 

Ashton’s explanation had well wishes pouring in for you and it warmed your heart to see that there were fans that cared. 

Part of you wished you could at least be watching them, or better yet, be cuddled up with them, to hell with the stream. But you knew they were trying to keep the focus on the album. You’d already had texts from the others to check in with you and you took your time to reply to them and settle down, your eyes heavy as you snuggled under the covers.

It was nice to watch them, seeing the ease in the way they joked about. You knew they worried but it was obvious to anyone who saw them when you’d gone into hospital that the tension that was sat on the both of them was both obvious and heartbreaking. 

You could see the shadows under Luke’s eyes and you wondered if they traded the nights between each other to make sure they wouldn’t miss an update or a call. 

You tried to squash down the guilt instant that reared up. They were doing this because they cared. There was nothing in it for them, apart from the possibility of you getting better. But you knew they expected nothing back. 

Your eyes were tired and you took in the time. It was creeping closer to midnight so you closed off the stream and texted the chat to let them both know you were going to sleep. Had you stayed on the stream a few moments longer, you’d have seen Ashton’s face relax as a gentle smile crept onto his lips, causing the two that were still stateside to tease him. 

The following morning was better in some way but also worse. Your cough wasn’t easing up but your fever seemed to have broken in the night. 

You weren’t overheating but you weren’t cold either. You took a few moments to move your limbs and regretted it almost instantly. But you knew that if your fever stayed down, it would be a further week until you weren’t contagious. 

Part of you wanted to practically sing in joy, but as you took in the early morning, you decided against that, knowing your men would be fast asleep still. 

Slowly you got yourself up, collecting your shower stuff before making your way down the hallway to the shower. The warm water felt almost luxurious on your skin as you took care in washing your hair, still leaning against the cold tiles to keep yourself upright, your legs trembling as you did so. 

It took the same amount of time as the previous shower, but once you were clean, you knew it made a small amount of difference as you stumbled back to your room, crawling under the covers to take a well deserved nap. 

You missed the text from Luke asking if you were awake. 

Now that you seemed to be stomaching food, Ashton kept it simple with dry toast, not willing to push your body too far. And you agreed with his judgement after he’d placed it in front of your door and you waited for the other door to close before you opened yours. 

“Love you.” You felt your heart melt as he spoke through the door. 

“Love you too Ash. Thank you.” You returned quietly before stepping back into your room. It was getting harder to stay in, especially when your cuddle monsters of boyfriends were just in the next room. 

It hurt. 

They FaceTimed with you to keep you company, both of them making a strong effort to not only keep you company but to also stop you from giving into temptation to just join them. 

Ashton was practically insistent on that. 

You knew by the time that you would be allowed to have them back in your room, their own self isolation would be over. 

It didn’t fail to amuse you how Ashton started cooking once you started being able to stomach more than dry toast. It took a few goes but he kept it plain enough to not make your stomach complain but changed it up so you didn’t get bored of it. 

What made it even better were the small notes of affection they left for you on the tray which held your food. You had them pinned up to your cork board without a second though, the small pieces of heaven from them only making it feel that much cosier. 

Something to ward away the bad days in the future. 

Luke snuck you some of your favourite snacks, even after the scolding Ashton gave him when he tried sneaking you a chocolate bar. 

It’d made you giggle and they’d both paused to hear it. 

It was a sound they hadn’t heard in nearly a month and it made their hearts soar. 

Despite the pain you were in, it felt like you could at least breathe with the both of them with you. Even if you couldn’t see them. 

By day nine after your fever had broken, you were beginning to feel semi human once more. You still had issues with exhaustion and light sensitivity, but you certainly felt more better than you had done in weeks. 

Luke had given up on waiting. 

“Ash, they said a week after the fever went down, they’d no longer be contagious. This is killing me.” You’d chosen to curl up on the side that was proclaimed as Luke’s side. 

Your heart was feeling heavy again. 

“I mean. We’re what? A week and a half?” Ashton’s voice was hesitant. You missed the mutter in return before the door opened and there was a knock on your door. 

Luke stuck his head in and you wanted to cry. 

“Reckon you can put up with some self care cuddles?” You simply nodded your head and shuffled into the middle of the bed. Luke wasted no time, his arms wrapped around you and you could feel every part of you seemingly shaking. 

Ashton followed a few minutes later and your memory seemed to fail you in that moment. You could barely remember the last six weeks, but the feeling of comfort was something entirely different as they held you. 

That was when you began to sob in earnest because you’d missed them. And they knew it. 

When you’d calmed down, part of you felt torn because you wanted to hold them both, not let go and just lay there. But they didn’t protest when you’d snuggle up to one, legs tangled and arms wrapped around tight and eventually switch to the other. 

If anything, it amused them both. 

As the day got later, Ashton untangled himself, pressing a kiss to your shoulder. Luke was your current cuddle buddy of choice. 

Turning your head, your confusion must have shown because Ashton smiled gently. 

“We need to keep up with the meals, love. I’m gonna make some soup for all of us, how does that sound?” You hummed in agreement. 

“It’s allowed I guess. But you gotta come back.” And he chuckled, leaning over to kiss your forehead, doing the same to Luke before disappearing out of your room. 

“You realise that he’s going to mother hen you to death, right?” Luke teased and you shrugged. 

“He’s here. You both are. That’s more than enough for me.” You murmured softly. Luke held you that little bit tighter.

“You up for a shower sweetheart?” You hesitated, your mind drifting back to the previous two times you showered. The hesitation must have been obvious because Luke pressed a kiss to the top of your head, not willing to push you.

“Will you, will you help? It’ll be a tight fit but, I struggled the last two times.” You finally admitted to him and he smiled. 

“C’mon. We can let the chef know as we pass him.” You giggled at his words, allowing him to help you out of the bed and making your way slowly across the room. Luke didn’t push, but he kept his arms available and easy for you to grab if you needed him.

You’d made it to the kitchen before you relied on him a bit more, your joints achy and your legs shaking. 

“Gonna get this one showered and clean.” Luke called into the kitchen where Ashton was cooking. He glanced back and grinned at you both before turning back to the food and you two carried on. 

Luke was nothing but patient with you as you climbed into the shower, his tall body fitting into the rest of the space. He was gentle as he helped you and it took the pressure off you, focusing on keeping yourself upright as his hands started working the shampoo into your hair.

You’d forgotten how well he massaged your scalp when washing your hair, and you only protested when he rinsed it out, making him laugh.

“I forgot how nice your head massages were.” You groaned as he worked the conditioner in. You carefully washed your body with the shower gel, cleaning Luke’s body whilst you were at it. 

He tried to stop you but you gave him pleading eyes and he relented easily. Using the time whilst your hair was soaking in the conditioner to wash his own hair quickly whilst you cleaned his body.

And then his fingers were back in your hair, cleaning out the conditioner and you had to stop yourself from leaning into him.

Once you were clean and dried off, dressed and the towels over Luke’s shoulder, you could feel yourself begin to flag again, leaning heavily on Luke for the short trip back to your room.

“I’ve got you sweet.” He murmured as you passed the kitchen. Ashton was talking with one of your neighbours who gave you a small wave but didn’t stop you to talk. Part of you felt guilty, but the larger part felt relieved because you were almost certain once you’d eaten something, you were going to be asleep.

Once you were back in your bedroom, you scooted so that your back was resting against the headboard whilst Luke let the towels hang so that they could dry and put everything back in its place. He understood your need for everything in its own place, whilst Ashton understood, but still sometimes made a small game of moving things to see if you’d notice.

Luke could see that you were too tired to even be playful.

When Ashton returned, he frowned for a moment before resting the first bowl on your lap, spoon already in the bowl.

“Don’t worry about eating it all. Just try to eat something for us.” He encouraged gently, handing Luke his own bowl before heading back to retrieve his own.

You were slow and methodical before your stomach protested and you left the spoon in the bowl, your head resting on Luke’s shoulder.

“M’ready for sleep.” You muttered and he hummed in acknowledgement. He’d long since finished his bowl, as had Ashton.

“You alright with Ash for a bit, love? Since he cooked, I’ll clean.” Luke murmured and you just nodded before shuffling till you were laid down. Ashton followed and you snuggled into him. 

You barely heard his murmured “sleep well” before you were fast asleep.

It was the first night that you’d slept for eight hours and it felt almost refreshing, especially after having the shower the previous night.

You were still nestled into Ashton’s side, Luke’s arm was slung over you both, his hand resting on Ashton’s stomach. You felt very safe between your men and you were so grateful that they were with you in that moment.

It was another hour before either of them stirred, but you’d been resting in that hour, not really awake but not asleep either. Luke was first to move, pressing a kiss to your shoulder as he moved off the bed.

“Morning, love. How are you feeling today?” He murmured as he stretched. You shifted onto your back and gave an experimental test of your joints. They weren’t so bad and your cough had eased up that your chest no longer hurt if there was the occasional cough.

“Better, I think. It’s only a dull ache, the kind I get when you two put me through the paces at the gym.” You admitted softly and Luke grinned as Ashton stretched out, almost like a cat before turning on his side to face you.

“Nice to hear that, angel. And good morning.” You grinned at him and kissed him gently before glancing at the time. 

“What are we doing today?” You asked quietly as Luke continued to stretch out his muscles. Part of you felt bad for them both to be stuck inside with you, but you were much too selfish to let that bad feeling linger. 

“I’m gonna do some exercises and then Ash is probably gonna do his own. And then a movie day for the rest of the day?” He posed the question and you paused before nodding your head. It sounded good to you and it meant you had some individual time with each of them.

The morning passed by easily. They did their exercises and showered before returning to your room that Luke had playfully dubbed ‘The Den’. Ashton had laughed at that as he went to set up in the living room for another live, but this time Luke was staying with you. They’d been trading off which had bothered you first, but then Ashton explained their reason.

“We don’t really want to leave you alone. Not that you can’t take care of yourself,” he hastily added on upon seeing your look of outrage, “but being so far away whilst you were so ill, it kinda scared us. We don’t want to leave you by yourself yet. It’s more to ease our own anxieties.” And you relaxed before shoving any negative thoughts to the back of your mind.

Luke was napping when your phone went off-Ashton was still on the live-and you answered the No Caller ID hesitantly. 

It was the hospital that you were at, a nurse confirming who you were before she’d go any further. It took a few moments before she got to the point of the phone call.

“So we’re calling you about the various tests. I’m assuming that you know you were confirmed with COVID-19, correct?”

“Yeah, about two days after the test, someone called to let me know.” You responded hesitantly. You wondered what this was about.

“And how are you feeling?” You were confused.

“I mean, I’m coming up to two weeks of no fever and starting to feel a lot better. I’m just more exhausted but I suspect that’s because of what my body went through.” You explained quietly and you heard her hum in agreement. Luke shifted beside you and you noticed that he was  awake, only because his hand had started to drift up and down your spine.

“That’s good to hear. What I’m calling about is that you’d said your kidneys had been hurting upon admittance, correct?” 

“Yes.” You were worried now.

“So when we looked at the numbers, we noticed that they’d started dropping. Not drastically enough for us to have you in intensive care, but that was why we moved you to the ward. It was as a precaution.” You felt your heart race at her words.

“They’d started failing again, hadn’t they?” You whispered and she sighed.

“Yes. However, because the numbers were back on the rise when we took your second blood test, we felt that we could discharge you safely. Had they dropped further, you’d have been admitted to intensive care. The only reason why you weren’t told immediately was because we didn’t want you to panic or go into further distress which could’ve made it much more worse.” 

It hit you like a ton of bricks what she was saying. 

“Is there anything I need to worry about?” You finally choked out, your hands trembling.

“At this time, no. When things ease up, we will request you get another test just to confirm you’re clear of the virus. Otherwise for now, just rest up and feel better soon.” 

“Thank you.” You got out, ending the call. Luke took the phone from your trembling hands and he sat up, pulling you onto his lap, his arms around you.

“What happened, love?” You were trying to take in slow deep breaths to stop the panic attack, knowing that it wouldn’t help you.

“They’ve just told me, when I went into hospital, my kidneys were failing.” You whispered and his arms tightened around you tighten enough that he understood the implications.

You’d told them both of the previous two times when you’d been so ill that your kidneys had started failing and as a result you’d been on death's door. 

You didn’t realise you were hyperventilating until Luke began to rub his hands up and down your arms to try and distract you, but your mind was too focused on the fact that you’d escaped death, again.

“Ashton!” Luke called loudly, a tinge of panic in his own voice.

Ashton practically crashed through into your door and his face was ashen as he took in your state, a look of relief followed by concern filling his features. He clambered onto the bed, his hands cupping your face gently. When you didn’t flinch away, he ducked his head to catch your eyes.

“Slow deep breaths sweetheart. We’ve got you.” It took you a while before you could finally focus on Luke’s hands which were still rubbing your arms gently.

“How’s your sense of smell?” Ashton teased as he noted that you were fighting to keep your breathing under control.

“Smell you and Luke, favourite smell.” You muttered and he grinned. You closed your eyes for a moment, leaning into his touch and he let his thumb brush across your cheeks in comfort.

“What happened?” Despite the question being directed at you, you knew that Ashton was also asking Luke.

“A nurse from the hospital phoned I think. They explained about the blood tests they’d run. Apparently their kidneys were failing when they’d gone in, but not enough to alarm the hospital staff or get them rushed to intensive care.” His voice was calm and you needed that. 

You knew that Ashton understood what he wasn’t saying, but also you weren’t too sure if you could voice it properly without crying.

“Come here sweetheart.” Ashton’s tone brokered no arguments and you moved so that you were cradled in his lap, his back resting against the headboard. Luke was nestled as close as possible.

“Part of me knew something was wrong, but, not that.” You whispered finally. Ashton made a soothing sound as you let your head rest on his shoulder, face pressed into his neck.

“It’s one thing to guess, it’s another thing to be told, love. You’re allowed to cry because it’s a frightening thing to be told.” His voice was one of reason and you finally let it out, allowing them both to comfort you as you processed what had been said.

He wasn’t wrong. It was one thing to guess, but to be told that your kidneys had started failing once more, it was frightening.

Neither of them moved away from you as you got it off your chest. You couldn’t pin how long had passed until you finally took a steadying breath, lifting your head from Ashton’s neck. Luke was first to move, his thumb wiping the tear tracks and you gave him a weak smile.

It dawned on you then that Ashton had been on a live.

“Ash, I’m sorry.” You finally whispered and he gave you a confused look.

“What are you sorry for? You’ve got nothing to be sorry for.” He murmured, pressing a kiss to your temple.

“The live you were doing...” You trailed off and he shrugged.

“They’ll get over it. You’re more important and we’re doing more radio interviews on the live so it doesn’t matter.” He muttered and you didn’t push, relaxing in his hold. Luke glanced at the clock and gave you a gentle smile.

“My turn to make lunch. Nothing cooked unfortunately, but I make a damn good sandwich.” He teased playfully which made you giggle, a sigh escaping your lips as he left after giving you both gentle kisses.

“Just think, tomorrow we can take you out for a short walk.” 

“Freedom.” You muttered deadpan, making him laugh as his lips found yours.

“Even for half an hour, it’ll help. Home stretch now.” You mustered up a smile for him before stretching your legs out and he moved with you, his arms not quite leaving your body.

“Am I not allowed to lie down?” You queried and he shook his head, a playful grin on his lips as he pulled you flush against his body, his lips finding your neck.

“No, all mine to have and feast on.” The cackle like laugh that he let off had you giggling as he blew a raspberry on your skin. This earned a squeal from you, laughing as he rocked you back and forth. “No one can take you from me!” 

You were still laughing when Luke returned with three plates, an amused grin on his lips as he raised an eyebrow.

“Save me Lu! Ash is gonna feast on me!” You shrieked again as he blew another raspberry into your neck, the ticklish sensation making you laugh as he held you tightly. 

Luke set the plates down before climbing on the bed, his lips curving into a smirk, making you pause.

“Can I feast with you Ash?” And you groaned as Ashton laughed as Luke straddled the both of you, his body causing the three of you to fall back onto the bed, effectively trapping you between the two of them as Luke left gentle kisses along your neck and you held back your moan, knowing that if he started to pull at the skin you were a goner.

Pulling back, he had a cheeky grin on his lips and you groaned as Ashton laughed.

“You two are the worst. Let me eat, you monsters!” You cried out playfully, making them both laugh as Luke shifted himself off you to get the plates once more and Ashton loosened his hold on your waist.

The rest of the day passed quietly, Ashton had apologised for having to ditch and the three of you settled watching movies long into the early hours of the morning.

Despite the lack of sleep, you were still up early excited that you were finally allowed to go for a walk today, and both of them laughed at your excitement.

Once you were dressed, they followed your lead and got ready. And then you were out of the building and the fresh air felt glorious, even if there was a spattering of rain. You didn’t care.

You led them both to a small pathway that led to the river that ran through the town, the edge of the river filled with cherry blossom trees. Both of them were taking as many photos as they could and you couldn’t hide your smile if you tried. 

Ashton managed to get a nice selfie of the three of you under one of the trees and before long, you realised that the half an hour had gone by and you were beginning to struggle, your legs becoming a little bit shaky. 

But it didn’t deter from the fact that you’d been able to go out for a walk and enjoy it. Both Luke and Ashton could see the immediate difference.

“We’ll go out every day and stay an extra five minutes longer. Build you up. How does that sound?” Ashton asked as you walked up the driveway, arm in arm with the both of them.

“That sounds good. Onwards and upwards from here and I am so going to kick your butts at Mario Kart now.”  

Their laughter rang around the empty drive as you reached the building and you felt much more positive with them by your sides.

-

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[avengersassemble-fics]

What is it About You?

Kylo Ren (Ben Solo) x Reader

Summary: The First Order is trying to stomp out the Resistance. Work on the Starkiller Base is non-stop everyday. Some work on the weapon itself, and others get to work on the fleets fighters and shuttles. One engineer sparks the interests of the commander himself. But why? What is it about this engineer that the Force and Commander Kylo Ren, seem so interested in?

part 01/10 “encounters”

word count 3.6k

an: lmao look don’t judge me for ANOTHER new piece. when it comes to me it comes to me. this is my first ever kylo piece so hopefully i can do him justice.

Starkiller Base was a lot of things, none of those being a place you would ever consider home. It was freezing cold, it held this unsettling feeling in it, and if you weren’t concerned about keeping your job, then you probably would have left as soon as you stepped onto the tarmac. But, this was your first major assignment post, and it wasn’t an opportunity you could pass up.

You didn’t work on anything too important. Did you know what they were building? No not exactly, just that it was a weapon. Your main concern was making sure that the TIE fighters and transports that came from battle or missions were back to pristine condition. Some days you pulled in a 6 hour shift, while others you felt like you could see the sun peaking over the horizon. Those days were the ones you dreaded the most. Why?

Because the only reason you had those days was when Commander Kylo Ren returned, and his command shuttle was in complete disarray. And today was one of those days.

You reveled in freedom when it and its owner weren’t on the base. Every time you were informed of a departure check being needed, you felt the happiness flow back into your life. That is how much you hated that shuttle, and though you wouldn’t admit that to anyone, that is how much you hated Commander Ren as well. It made you feel like your work and time meant absolutely nothing to that man.

Well you knew it didn’t. How could someone like that care about anyone’s feelings? That’s probably the reason why you felt yourself dragging your feet as you made your way to the incoming bay. The only thing that you looked forward to at that moment was seeing your friend who hopefully had brought you a cup of coffee. Besides the tiredness felt in your eyes, your body craved that warmth.

Being an engineer is one thing, but being a female engineer felt like you were an animal on display in a cage. No, you didn’t get to wear pants like the men engineers, you had to wear a grey dress. The only thing you could add to keep your body warm (on a snow planet!) was a black turtleneck sweater underneath, and not so relatively thick black stockings. Everyday. Five days a week.

You hated the cold.

The bay doors opened to your presence and the cold air hit your body. You shivered, seeing your friend in the distance on a terminal, and thank the stars you could see not one but TWO steaming cups. You wanted to skip with joy. You made your way over, your steps echoing in the air, and your friend turned, shoving your cup towards you.

“Here, grumpy,” her sweet voice said, and you smiled, “I knew if I didn’t bring you one you’d be a raging bitch all day.”

“Your words hurt me,” you said sarcastically, but none the less you took the cup and bumped her shoulder, “but my love for you outweighs it all.”

“Shut up,” she said and you chuckled, taking a sip as you looked over her shoulder, “your transport is 30 minutes out.”

“Great,” you mumbled, taking yet another sip before putting the cup down, “can’t wait to see what’s happened to it this time.”

Reina Duune. She was one of the only other female engineers on the base (there was only 6 total), and she was your best friend. You both went to the same school, and befriended one another when you got into a fight with one of the boys who tried to put his hand up your skirt. She jumped in to defend you as well, and you both got suspended for a week. The boy? He got off scot free. To this day it made your blood boil, because it just showed that the men were seen as more important than the women.

Reina was beautiful. She made the room stop, turn, and look at her beauty when she’d enter rooms. You noticed, but she never did. Did she overshadow you? Yes, but you didn’t mind. You didn’t like being stared at by strangers. You were attractive you would say, you did garner some attention but not on the level Reina did, but then again you weren’t too upset about that.

“Don’t worry about the other fighters coming in today, I’ll finish with those while you do the shuttle,” she told you and you gasped playfully putting a hand on your heart.

“You do love me back, I always knew it,” you laughed and she followed, rolling her eyes.

“Okay joker go do your work,” she commented and you gave her pouty lips as you backed away holding your coffee.

25 minutes.

You spun around and walked over the farthest terminal in the bay. The Command Shuttle always landed here, and you needed to prepare the area for its arrival. Not only did you have to put up with Commander Ren today, but because he travelled on his own that meant General Hux was going to be here soon to greet him as well. You know how it sounds, oh you don’t like Ren and Hux? Is it because they’re men in power? No of course not. You didn’t care who had power. Hell, you didn’t like Captain Phasma either. They’re all just assholes.

20 minutes.

The area was spotless, that’s how you always left it. But there were a few crates tossed down from somewhere and you groaned as you set the warm cup of your drink. You walked over to one of the crates and tried to get it to open to no avail. You squinted, trying to read the wordings on the side, but the faded letters told you nothing. You mumbled to yourself and you shoved it barely an inch. It was heavy, whatever inside weighed it down to where you could barely push it. You tried pushing it with your hips when someone jogged up behind you.

“Here, let me help you with that,” the deeper voice said, and you turned to look at the source. He was dressed in white Stormtrooper armour, but no helmet. You recognized him, but could never remember his number. Just that it started with FN. He got on your side, and you both pushed the crate to the wall.

“Thank you,” you breathed, and moved to the second crate, and he followed your lead, both of you putting your hands on the edge to push.

“Yeah of course,” he said before you both pushed hard against the crate to the wall next to the other one.

“Wonder what the hell is in these things,” you commented, feeling the heat build in your face.

15 minutes.

“No clue,” the Stormtrooper said, and you both moved to the last one, “probably not that important if it’s just left around.”

You both pushed hard on the third on, it sliding across the ground slow, “Yeah,” you grunted, “but we’re the ones having to move them.”

With one final push from you both, it went against the wall like the others. You both had to catch your breath, and you wiped your hands together to try and rub the redness out of them. His hands went to his hips and you could see a trickle of sweat down the side of his cheek. You motioned your head to him.

10 minutes.

“Are you leaving on a mission?” You asked him and he nodded.

“Yeah,” he breathed, “there’s word of Resistance activity on Jakku, we leave in a few days. Captain Pasma wanted additional training before we embarked.”

“And here I thought you wore that for fun,” you joked, and you earned a chuckle from him.

“I would trade this heavy and hot armour for rags any day,” and you smiled and shook your head, you nodded at you, “what’s your name?”

“(Y/N),” you replied, not bothering with your last name, but he extended his hand and you shook it.

“FN-2187,” he replied and you nodded. It was weird to you that they didn’t use their names. Or maybe they just didn’t remember them.

“I’m terrible as it is with names, let alone call numbers, maybe I’ll just call you Finn for short,” you commented, there seemed to be a spark in his eyes and before he could reply, you nodded behind him, “you may want to get back to your squad.”

The trooper, Finn you’d call him, turned to look behind him and noticed Captain Phasma and General Hux entering. You straightened yourself as did he, and he backed up from your presence.

“Thanks (Y/N),” he commented and you smiled waving a bit as his back turned to you and went back to join his squad. You fixed your hair and went to the terminal, pressing a few keys and standing tall as General Hux made his way over. Clean workspace, happy General, that’s all he cared about. You heard a call come in in your ear, from the pilot on the shuttle. They were inbound, and you nodded to yourself.

General Hux was finally near you, along with one of his guards (another Stormtrooper), and he stationed himself away from where you were.

“Any word from the shuttle?” He asked you. No greeting, no acknowledgement to your presence, nothing. God, you hated him.

“Yes, sir, the pilot says they’ve exited hyperspace, should be any moment now,” you replied. Just because you hated the man didn’t mean you weren’t respectful to him. It just made your life easier.

“Begin the landing procedure, then,” he said and you nodded your head. You pressed a few keys and the bay door began to open. It cracked open slowly but the cold air hit everyone quickly. Wind whipped at your face and pushed your hair back and you had to clench your jaw to stop your teeth from chattering.

You could see the shuttle in the distance, and General Hux made a comment to his guard, not so much to you, “If the commander is not piloting then that is not a good sign.”

You wanted to groan and roll your eyes. Of course it’s not a good sign, when is it ever? You hoped the damage wasn’t too extensive. But you just stood there and laced your fingers in front of you. The shuttle finally neared, and you could hear the engines slow as it pulled into the bay. As it did, it pushed more wind into your bodies, but you held your ground fine.

You looked over the body of the shuttle, not seeing much damage on the outside. It needed some cleaning maybe, and you would have to check the engines and make sure it was still in near perfect condition. The shuttle landing gear extended out, and touched the ground, and the ramp almost immediately began to lower. You straighten your posture and stare straight ahead, while the engines died in a buzz. The first to exit were the troopers who had gone with the commander, and they stood at your side as Commander Ren stepped down the ramp.

He was tall and dark, covered completely in black robes, and his presence would undoubtedly scare the average person. But not you. You had managed this whole time flying under his radar, you paid him not attention. The only time you really thought about him was when a few of the others would speculate who or what exactly was under that helmet. All you cared about was the fact you could see his fists tightened into a ball, and his posture looked angry. Hux and him spoke momentarily before they both walked off with one another.

The troopers beside you began to follow, one turning to face you as you relaxed your stance, “Just a fair warning, it’s not pretty in there.” Before you could say your thanks, you closed your eyes for a moment.

Great, this was great. Just what you wanted to hear.

You grabbed a pad from the terminal and began to walk the perimeter of the shuttle. Not too much outer damage, it was almost in the same perfect condition as it left. Maybe a couple scratches, easy to buff out, and you typed on the pad your findings. You stepped towards the ramp that led inside and took a breath to prepare yourself. Time to see what exactly the condition looked like in here.

You stepped aboard and nearly gapped. There were slashes down a side of the wall, still sputtering electrical shocks as you stood there gawking. Oh you knew what that damage was. Fucking lightsaber marks. You set your pad down on the piloting console, and walked over to the wall.

What. The. Fuck. What the fuck was this guys problem? Was he really that inconsiderate that he literally fucking ripped through metal? For what! What makes someone do that?

You felt lightheaded, it was sudden and you had to hold onto the torn apart wall to hold yourself up. Your vision went fuzzy, and you blinked to try and see clear again. You heard footsteps coming your way, and you shook your head to compose yourself, and grabbed your data pad to begin ordering repairs for this..damage.

The presence stomped up the ramp, and you knew exactly who it was by the sound of it. You closed your eyes and fought back the groan you wanted so badly to let out. Fucking great.

“Is something wrong, officer,” the voice said. The filter in the helmet gave nothing away, but you could tell the tone of voice was irritated. You took a deep breath in and spun around, holding the data pad against your chest.

“Commander Ren, I’m just performing the post-flight-”

“I didn’t ask you that,” he cut you off and took a step forward to you. He was taller and bigger than you in stature, but you didn’t back off, “I asked if something was wrong.”

“I don’t know what you mean, sir,” you replied, looking up to meet his gaze. Out of the corner of your eye you could see his fist tighten. He looked you over quietly and you didn’t like that. But you didn’t avert your eyes. Look then, you wanted to say. Take a fucking picture too if you want.

What was wrong with you today.

“I would watch your tone, officer,” he commented, and that made you raise a brow, “you should feel nothing but gratefulness for the opportunity you have with the First Order.”

What did that mean. What? Tone of voice?

“Yes, sir,” you replied. He looked you over once more, and turned to walk down the ramp. Your shoulder relaxed, and all you could think was what an opportunity it was to clean up after someone who acted like such a child.

He stopped in his tracks, and you stared at his back. Commander Ren looked over his shoulder for a moment and finally left the shuttle. You let out a breath of relief, and looked back to the wall. What a weird morning already.

The day seemed to drag on as you put in work orders for everything that was needed. You were in what you would call your office, that was shared with three other people. You sat down in a chair that was right in front of a larger terminal, easier to work on then the one in the bay, and you were busy typing away what you needed. You also couldn’t help but go over the events that had transpired that day. You shook the thoughts from your mind when the door to the room opened.

“You missed all the fun today,” your friend Reina said to you. She sat at the terminal she claimed was hers, and spun her chair to face yours, but you had to keep typing as she spoke, “I’d say there’s one hell of a Resistance pilot out there.”

“Hey if you want to switch, be my guest and you can finish all these work orders,” you threw back at her.

“That bad?”

“That bad,” you replied and shrugged your shoulders, “just because you have a lightsaber doesn’t mean you should just use it to trash your own shuttle. Especially when someone else had to clean up the mess.”

Reina shook her head, “Yes but they don't care about that. They know someone is going to fix it so it doesn’t matter what they do.”

You sighed, finishing the last work order you had to punch in. 22 requests needed within the next day. It was going to be a long 48 hours for you and the team who’d be assigned to assist you. You spun your chair to meet Reina’s face.

“I didn’t think when I joined the First Order I’d just wind up being someone’s maintenance bitch,” you commented and she gave you a sad smile, “it just doesn’t feel like my work is that important.”

“But it is,” she replied, “hell without you no one could fix that thing. Even I don’t know how the ins and outs of it, but as someone who helped develop its plans-”

“But no one knows I helped develop the shuttle plans. That’s the problem, they’re long gone with promotions and making twice as much as I do.”

Reina extended her hand for you to take, and you did, and she clasped her other hand over it, “You’re going to get the recognition you deserve one day. It sucks it’s not now, but it’ll happen. Too damn smart for it not to.”

Reina always knew how to help you feel better. You gave her a sad smile and off you two went to get some kind of food into your systems.

2300 hours.

You had finally made it back to your room. It was decently sized, you couldn’t really complain. But the metal walls, metal bed that held your mattress (if you could call it that), no decorations, and a bathroom with a decent refresher. You reached behind your back to unzip your uniform, struggling to reach the zipper. You stopped when there was a beep at your door. You sighed, and walked back over, and instead undid your hair that was in a ponytail all day, letting your hair relax. You didn’t know who it was, but you ruffled your hair as you pressed a button near the door and allowed it to open.

Were you expecting Commander Ren to be there? No. Absolutely not, and you could not hide your surprise.

“Commander Ren-”

He walked into your room without paying you any mind. You stood at the door for a moment and blinked trying to comprehend what the fuck was going on.

“Please, come in,” you muttered and turned to face him. The door to your room shut, and almost immediately, Commander Ren’s hand extended out, and there was a grip around your neck. You gasped, the air exhaling your body as you struggled to breathe.

“Your thoughts are too loud,” he said, taking a step forward, his hand pinched like it was around your throat.

“What do you mean,” you tried to manage but it didn’t really come out that audible. But he heard you.

“Don’t play stupid, (Y/L/N),” you shook your head, almost feeling like your eyes were going to flutter close, and right then he released his grip on you and you gasped for air.

“Every thought since I’ve returned, I could hear each one,” he said, and you rubbed your throat, “your attitude towards me are the loudest thoughts you have.”

“You just fucking choked me,” you shook your head, “I don’t even know what you’re going on about!”

“Don’t talk to me like that,” he warned you, and you stood straight, “you incompetence annoys me.”

“My incomp-” you stopped yourself from continuing this charade, “y’know what? Please get out.”

“No.”

“No? What do you mean no?!”

He took another step forward, and you swallowed the lump in your throat. Kylo Ren towered over you once again that day, you would lie if you didn’t say he made you nervous.

“I’m making you nervous,” he said and you blinked at him. Stop doing that!

“What is it about you,” he said again, and looked over you, “why is the Force connecting us like this.”

“Please leave,” you asked again. You didn’t know if his eyes were locked with yours, but he moved around you and to your door. Without saying a word, you relaxed, and rubbed your shoulder. What the fuck was that? You forcefully reached around your back and barely reached the zipper on your uniform, and pulled it down, and let your clothes hit the floor. You walked to your bathroom that held the refresher in it and continued to strip down, desperately needing a shower. Anything to get today’s grime off of you.

You turned the refresher on and stepped into the warm water. You didn’t know what Commander Ren meant, by any of it, but you tried not to think too much about it. Since he could (apparently) hear what you were thinking. You cleared your mind as you washed your body down. You stayed in there until the water started to turn cold, and you turned it off and carefully exited, grabbing a towel and wrapping it around yourself.

The only thought in your head right now was getting into bed and getting some rest for tomorrow.