#i messed up the egg one but I couldn't care less

[bunnys-kisses]

jailbird (3)

prisoner!simon "ghost" riley

the series master-list

cw: (former) prisoner!simon, civilian!reader, smut & fluff, dom!reader, sub!simon, gentle sex, size kink, pregnant!reader, wife kink

bunny says: like the fic? leave a comment! really like the fic? suggest your own!

you rubbed your back as you cooked up some breakfast. you then yawned into you fist. it was hard giving up coffee for the sake of your unborn baby, but simon promised that when your son was born, he'd buy you the fanciest coffee at the supermarket.

it had been over a year since simon got out of prison, and now you two were expecting your first child. right now he was the size of an avocado and simon couldn't help but put his hands on the small bump.

"mornin', love." he said as he came up behind you and his hands on the bump. his hair was a mess and his large tattoos hands were on your hips, "bacon for me?"

"it's turkey bacon. less fat." you reminded him.

he grumbled, "not as good." then leaned in to kiss you on the cheek, "how did you sleep." his hands linked under your bump as he held it gently.

you flipped the bacon and focused your attention on the eggs in another pan. you felt a shift of your child in your womb, "it was alright. i think i'm getting used to your snoring."

he kissed you again and grumbled, "i'm sorry."

you chuckled, "I don't mind. either you've gotten quieter or i'm just used to it." you tilted your head up and kissed him on the lips briefly, "if you can get the toast ready that would be great."

"anythin' for ya." he said as he pulled away and went to make some toast for the both of you. it was domestic, it was quiet. a woman and her much larger, tattooed ex-convict of a boyfriend.

-

simon called you his wife often, despite never actually being married. you didn't mind it. you shared a home were building a family, but you often wondered if you would ever get married. you were never keen on a huge celebration, but something would be nice. regardless you were his missus.

regardless of your pregnant size, he handled you with ease. there were times where he'd simply guide your hips as you rode him. he was he one in control. you held onto him and moaned as you felt his cock press up into you.

"beautiful wife." he smirked as he kissed your face.

you wondered if it was possible for to control the pace. to have your boyfriend give up control and let you work his body? while your bdsm together was short lived, he stopped any rough play when you announced you were pregnant, you wondered if the roles could be reversed? the tiny girlfriend in control of her beefy, scary boyfriend.

it was a rather arousing thought. to watch simon squirm while you made sure he was taken care of. it didn't have to be vicious or rough, which would make simon happy (for your sake), but tender and slow. you rubbed your thighs together while seated at your work desk, you had to focus on work! not on your boyfriend's cock inside of you.

you leaned back in your desk chair and rubbed your swollen middle as you gazed at the spreadsheet you had been working on. simon gave you the gift of your first born child, you believed it was time to repay him for it.

-

"simon." you said as you were curled up with him on the couch. simon's head was in your lap and his legs were hanging off the couch. you were running your fingers through his short blond hair.

"yeah, love." he said.

"i want to ask you about something."

he lifted his head and looked at you, he looked at your curiously. for a brief moment he was worried that he had done something wrong. but a closer study of your face revealed that you weren't upset with him, which settled him down. he simply said with a kiss on your bump, "ask away."

"i was wondering, if maybe... i can take charge when we have sex? just for tonight. i know you like being in charge, but i thought it could spice things up with anything too intense."

he said gruffly, "i don't want ya puttin' strain on yourself." as his broad hand rubbed your middle, "worried you'll get tired out."

you reached down and cupped his face, "well, then if i get tired then you can take over... it wouldn't hurt to try." you smiled, "i think it'll be fun."

simon learned very early on that he could never say no to his girl. he simply pressed his cheek back on your bump and rubbed it. he said, "alright, but don't push yourself too hard."

he lingered closely during dinner, his hands on your hips as he watched you make dinner. he was in charge of chopping vegetables, but when he wasn't, his hands were on you. he wanted to be close to his wife.

even though very few thought of him as a gentleman, the way he sat you down on the couch after dinner so he could wash the dishes of your dinner left you feeling pink.

when he came back to you however, he held out his hand. you took it and he helped you up off the couch. he stared down at you for a moment and you reached out for him. you framed his face in your hands and leaned up to kiss him.

"i'm fine."

once in the bedroom, he marveled at your body as you started to undress. he shirt was already off as he sat at the edge of the bed, ready to help you if you needed it. but you shooed his hands away. he admired the slope of your pregnant belly and the heaviness of your breasts. you had a figure his admired, a lil pregnancy fat to keep you and the babe warm.

"you're staring."

"can't i?" he asked, "i made you this way. my girl carryin' my kid. i think you look hotter now than before." he smiled.

you gave him a look as you got your underwear off, you stood there in front of him, naked with your hands at your hips. you said, "so you're into milfs?"

he shrugged, "only when i'm the ones who 'em a mama." he reached out for you and you went into his arms. he pressed his face against your bump and sighed, his cock twitched in his pants.

you petted his soft hair and felt him place kisses against your swollen middle. he had taken to being a father the way a fish takes to swimming. after a little worship to your belly, you nudged him at his shoulders.

"lie down."

he looked up at you and laid down. he watched you work as you got his pants and underwear off. his cock stood at full attention and you could already feel the heft of it inside of you. it made your stomach flutter.

there laid your convict boyfriend, the man who was in prison for some time. he was laid out on the bed you shared while you tried to straddle his waist. he made you his girl, and you made him a better man.

"gonna be comfy like that?"

"this is about you, simon." you tapped his nose, "the goal is to make you cum." then trailed your finger down his neck and across his chest that was littered with tattoos.

he held onto your hand and placed it on his cheek, "i know... but i still want you to have a good time, love." he kissed your wrist before he placed both hands on your hips.

"hey!" you smacked his hand away, "my job."

"sorry." he said softly. he was a hardened man, he often scared people. but with you, he was so supportive and loving. he adored you the way plants adored the sun.

he watched you with careful eyes, they felt heated on your warm flesh as you tried to move yourself (with the bump not helping). it took everything in him not to do it himself. but he had to trust you.

you slowly sank on his cock and pressed your chin to your chest as you exhaled deeply. you noticed that simon was holding onto the covers tighter. you said softly, "trust me."

"yes, love." he said softly, he tensed up when you started to roll your hips. you hand one hand on his chest for leverage and the other on your swollen middle as you moved your hips against him.,

"holy shit, love." he groaned.

"see, a wife knows how to please her husband." you replied before you smacked his hands away from you, "no. stay still." there was a bit of a command to your tone.

he liked it.

he continued to hold the sheets as you moved up and down on his length. his breathing got heavy as you started to really put work into riding his cock. he watched your breasts and belly bounce like a hypnotized man.

he made you this way. he never thought when he was in prison that he'd have a woman in his life that was carrying his child. he watched to reach out and worship your bump. but for the time being he'd just have to play the thoughts over in his head.

part of him wondered if he was still a bad man. maybe there should've been more time between when you met in person and your pregnancy. but you were happy. happy with him, of your situation.

he tried to move but you kept him pinned by the shoulders. you were without words as you rode him, all you could do was shake your head. he groaned and leaned back into the bed.

"please, love. let me touch you. i want to touch my wife." he was almost begging.

you pushed hair out of your hair and looked down at him. your hands were on his shoulders to give yourself more leverage. you moaned, "okay... but be good."

quickly his hands were on your hips and he rubbed your love handles. you felt so good under his touch, it made his brain buzz. what the hell did he do to deserve an angel such as yourself.

"like it, simon?"

he nodded, "you're doing great. my girl." his voice was practically a purr.

you continued to ride him. you felt hot all over but you held onto him. you tried to be sexy about your thrusts. but the burn in your soul to get to climax forced you to bounce on his cock.

simon's eyes were transfixed on your body as it moved. his cock ached, as did his balls. he bred you so good, he didn't know what he did in a previous life to deserve this.

warmth pumped through your bodies as you fucked. it felt so good, and the angle made your core ache. it wasn't long before you felt the curl of orgasm in your gut.

you placed his hands and yours on your bump as you moved on his cock. your moans filled the air of your bedroom. your mind became hazy and your thrusts were disorganized. you came first by holding his hands, your cunt clenched around his cock. and as you continued to ride him until he finished as well.

"shit."

"simon."

he laid sprawled out next to you for a moment to catch his breath. by the time he calmed down, he pulled you into his arms and kissed your face. he could feel your bare belly bump up against his abdomen. he felt relaxed against you.

he said quietly, as he assumed that you were dozing off in the after glow of pleasure, "you'll get your ring soon. just gotta find the right time to pop the question." his voice was a low rumble.

but you were still awake and safe in his arms. when he mentioned a ring your heart skipped a beat. you stayed still for a moment and let him bask in your love. soon you'd be his wife, for real.

the question was, where was the ring? <3

[megaderping]

I feel like when people compare Akechi to Light Yagami, they fundamentally misunderstand his character. Their similarities really end at their designs, and Light is the kind of person Akechi would despise. Light Yagami lives a pretty privileged life at the start of Death Note. He has a stable home, with two parents and a sister who care about him. He's a successful student. There isn't really inherent tragedy to his life. The whole reason he starts using the Death Note is a mix of curiosity and a jaded worldview, and when it works it empowers him, very quickly goes to his head, as he believes he is one who can be a god of a "new world" once the shock of his initial kills wears off. While his first kill was to help someone, that altruism didn't last. He is in charge of his choices, while Ryuk mostly vibes and maybe eggs him on a little. Fundamentally, Light has something Akechi lacks: agency, and a comfortable life he took for granted. Meanwhile, Akechi is someone who lived on the bottom rung of Japanese society. His very existence is shameful there, between his mother being a sex worker, his status as an illegitimate/"throw away" child, and his mother's suicide. Years languishing in a foster system that is notoriously inhumane, in a country where 90% of the adoptions are grown men for inheritance and patriarchal reasons, while very few children in the system find permanent homes. When Akechi awakens his power, he approaches Shido not because he wants to kill people but for a stupid revenge plan cooked up by a traumatized child who's been nudged along by a malevolent god. He wants to build Shido up so that at the height of his power, he can expose him for the monster he really is, while another part of him genuinely wants to be useful to Shido, as Cogkechi later calls out. His feelings are a mess of contradictions, and so it's no surprise that Shido was able to mold him into his assassin at only 15 years old. It's also worth noting that Akechi only approaches Shido with his ability to cause psychotic breakdowns. Shido is the one who teaches and instructs him to do shutdowns. He's still complicit, very sunk cost with his revenge plan, but as I spoke of here, even if he wanted to quit, he couldn't alone. Shido's cleaner and control of the law and ability to effortlessly turn him in would render the Metaverse his only safe haven. I think people look at 11/20 Akechi and Akechi in the early parts of the engine room and assume that's just his "true self," when in reality it's another mask. Royal makes it very clear because in Rank 7, he outright warns Joker of what's to come via a pool metaphor and offers an out (though he's MUCH happier if you don't take it/stick to your principles), and in Rank 8, he goes on that big "I hate you" speech... while Sunset Bridge is playing. Y'know, the song that plays at the end of most confidants to reaffirm bonds. So when he smiles as he shoots what he assumes to be Joker, that doesn't mean he's genuinely happy. More likely, he's an emotional clusterfuck, given he also is disoriented enough to namedrop "Shido-san" over the phone, and in the subsequent meeting with Shido, tells him not to kill the Phantom Thieves and that Morgana is "just a cat." Yes, he says they'll make them fear for the rest of their lives, but remember, he's talking to Shido. The things he says are likely all incredibly calculated to sound appealing to Shido. And when you consider that he planned to utterly destroy Shido's reputation after the election, the "delay" makes even more sense.

Later, Akechi goes on about how the people he induced shutdowns on were deserving of their fates, but I don't think he believes it so much as it's the only way he could convince himself that it was worth it, and given how much society failed him, and given how many of the people he targeted were likely rivals/competitors or rich fucks, I think he'd be less inclined to assume good faith. Kunikazu Okumura was not an innocent little victim, after all. He was one of the people who requested breakdowns and shutdowns the most. I think Akechi enjoyed killing him not because of how it'd hurt Haru, but because of catharsis. Because Okumura is just as monstrous as Shido, so why should he feel remorse? However, I don't believe he feels the same about Wakaba, as when he discusses her with Shido, he mentions how her fate was because she refused to willingly work for him. It's another justification, but I personally think Wakaba's death was the most painful for him because he was effectively making Futaba just like him. That's why I think his reaction to Sae threatening Sojiro's custody was genuine. Anyway, evil grinning Akechi is just another mask, as I said. Keep in mind, this is someone who laments not meeting Joker years ago, someone who Morgana outright points out is lying about his hatred. And that's the thing. Light Yagami, while a really fascinating character, is not someone who had all this childhood suffering or lack of agency. He does not regret his actions in the slightest and goes down due to his own hubris in both the anime and the manga. While you can argue that Ryuk set him up by dropping the Death Note, Light was the one who picked it up and chose to use it. Any nudging from Ryuk didn't coerce Light into doing it because Light seized the opportunity. No, if Light Yagami is like anyone in Persona 5, it's Masayoshi Shido, not Goro Akechi. Both believe they are god/god's chosen, that they are the ones who will reshape the world to their ideals, and to be frank, both use and abuse women to serve their own purposes. Goro Akechi goes down sacrificing himself for the Thieves and pleading with them to stop his father and again in Maruki's reality when he refuses to let Joker accept a gilded prison of a world for his sake when he knows better than anyone what it's like to have no true freedom. If you max his confidant, you see him in the postcredits, leaving his survival entirely possible, and I think it works because at the end of the day, Akechi was meant to be a victim and a foil. Light is a villain protagonist and a cautionary tale. Though its his POV we follow, he isn't someone we're meant to root for, but I definitely don't think enjoying the character is a bad thing at all. He's really interesting! I just think that a lot of the Akechi and Light comparisons are surface level at best.

[littlemissayu]

TWST Boys as ✨ PARENTS✨(Part 1)

TW: kids, pregnancy, reader is depicted as female, domestic, fluff

ft. :Heartsabyul, Savanaclaw | pt.2 ; ft. Octavinelle & Scarabia | pt.3; ft.Pomefiore, Ignhihyde | pt. 4; ft.Diasomnia

Riddle Rosehearts-

This man only has 1 kid, maybe 2 but that's kinda pushing it. I think he would be so worried about messing up his child the way his mother messed him up. He'd be strict yet dotting on his children; like he'll make sure their homework is done by a reasonable time and then praise them for doing really well on an assignment, especially if it's a subject they genuinely struggle with. If I'd say a boy dad or girl dad honestly, I think it could go either way, but I'm leaning towards boy dad.

Trey Clover-

I heavily believe he will have a big family anywhere from 4 - 7 kids. And these kids are absolutely close in age because I know the two of you are gonna get very busy, it feels like you're always pregnant with other people. Just imagine Trey with a mini him (or you) helping him crack the eggs in a bowl while they're wearing matching aprons <3. He would be a gentle parent but would put his foot down went he needed to. When it comes to girl dad or boy dad I can only think both!!

Cater Diamond-

At first he wasn't sure he wanted kids bc kids are a lot to take care of, but after the two of you being together and going through so much. He realizes deep down he did want to start a family with you. He would probably want only one or two but your first pregnancy you end up with triples; then you two said that's it until you got pregnant again with twins!!(My headcanon that Cater's special magic makes it more likely to have twins, triplets, etc come for here!!). It wasn't what the two of you anticipated but you couldn't be happier

Your pair of triplets ended up being 2 girls and a boy, then your twins were girls. He's a very fun dad always staying on top of the trends and slang. He has a hard time laying down the law with his kids sometimes, so you have to do it most of the time but when he really has to he does. *Bonus: You guys have 4 family photo shoots a year, and multiple photo albums*

Ace Trappola-

He probably has 3-5 kids, but from time to time it feels like you have 4-6 kids. He's always getting into trouble with them, playing pranks on you and others, even each other. There is no quiet in your household, it doesn't exist til everyone's asleep. Your kids are the most playful and competitive children you've ever seen, but they know to dial it back from time to time; Ace told them "When your mom says it once, she might be joking, if she says it twice she more likely serious so listen, if you make it to three....your the only name going on that tombstone". You guys are the most chaotic adorable family ever.

Deuce Spade-

He has 3 kids and not a single one of them is male, bc this man is %100 a GIRL DAD!! At first he was nervous about messing her up but after your first girl turned 3 and your second is 1, he couldn't imagine having a boy. He is the most proud girl dad you'll ever see. Is so protective of his amazing girls(that includes you btw), would fight off mosquito if it bit one his girls, no matter have stupid he looks. Spoils his little girls in any way he can, luckily you're there to make sure their not TOO spoiled.

Leona Kingscholar-

This man has 2 children and always makes sure one never feels less than the other. He knows what it's like to be stuck in your siblings shadow so he tries to make sure that never happens to his kids. While he won't always be present since he is still part of the royal family and therefore will have certain royal duties to fulfill; he will always do his best to be there for his kids. He does sleep less then he did before since his life is busier, but he always makes sure to take a nap everyday so when he's with his wife and kids he'll be able to be in a better mode to see his beautiful family. He would have one girl and one boy.

Ruggie Bucchi-

3-8 kids. His kids are the rowdiest, sneakiest kids you've ever seen. Although most of the time they're super sweet(to you). The first time you two talked about kids you agreed on only 2, but after having your first 2 rascals. You two got some more baby fever and ended up having only a few more. You did have a good paying job so you could take care of your little pack of children. The Bucchi household never has a boring day because there is always something really exciting or crazy that is happening. Overall he has more girls than he does boys. You first daughter stays a daddy's girl <3, but dw he loves all his kids equally!

Jack Howl-

4 kids, an even amount. He isn't the most expressive Dad but his kids can tell how he feels based on body language and physical acts. While to others it may seem as if he couldn't care less about his kids, it is the complete opposite. Always making sure their ok, celebrating their accomplishments, and always encouraging them to do what they love. His kids can tell through these small acts that he loves them. Your husband loves to take early morning runs, ofc but when your kids are babies he would take them in their stroller so they can get some fresh air to get them in a good mood. He does that so that maybe if their baby is in a better mood you won't have to much stress when trying to figure out what they need; it makes both of your lives easier. At first the two of you though you'd only have boys bc of your first 3 but then low and behold, your last kid was a baby girl<3!!

Heartsabyul Masterlist

Savanaclaw Masterlist

TWST Masterlist

[spr1ngbunni]

Stress Relief (William Afton x Reader)

☼☽⋆｡°✧ ✧⋆°｡☾☼ ☼☽⋆｡°✧ ✧⋆°｡☾☼ ☼☽⋆｡°✧ ✧⋆°｡☾☼

Summary: Reader is stressed out as usual and William takes things into his own hands to relieve your stress.

Tags: nsfw, smut, vaginal sex, overstimulation, corruption, daddy kink, drugging (but the reader is into it LMAO), age regression if you squint, choking, multiple orgasms, creampie, breeding kink, toys, soft!dom!William, submissive!soft!reader

author’s note: AAAAAAA here’s my first William x Reader smut fic i’m a bit shy to post this tbh 🤧. This definitely isn’t for everyone as there’s some very self indulgent kinks but regardless I hope you enjoy!! Also no beta LETS GOOOOOO

Word count: 4k

You & William have been dating for a few weeks now, and you couldn't have asked for a better lover. He was the richest man in Hurricane, with an empire so great he could care for you, a whole family and more. His tall frame domineered in every room he was in. His usual bored, uninterested gaze always turned to one filled with love and admiration when pointed in your direction. William considered himself God, a man who created life itself, and every person in Hurricane was so much lesser than him, less smart, less powerful, less brilliant, except for you. You were his treasure, his most precious belonging. You belonged to him. Such a darling little thing for Mr. Afton.

You were always so kind to him, and he adored your sweet voice, kind eyes and he believed you to be absolutely ravishing. You had to be his, all his, and you took to his advances so well.

William had never loved like this before. Hell, he didn't even know a love like this could exist. William Afton was a whore, and despite this, his many partners in the past could never amount to how you made him feel.

Really there was nothing like it. He had remembered the first time he held you- you were a crying touch starved mess, and William’s gentle affection brought you to tears. And in his embrace sparked a unique, unforgettable and esoteric feeling. As you cried, you couldn't help but feel like a kid again, running to your Dad for comfort… and for William, he was a Father again, holding his newborn baby as they cried and cried. Gently rocking you in his arms to soothe your quivering, emotional self.

Since then the dynamics really shifted between you and William. Whereas he becomes more of a dom and caretaker than a traditional boyfriend. And you have loved it so much. Some people may say he was too controlling… But it was a comfort to you. You were always stressed, worrying about every little thing, and what kind of Daddy would he be if he didn’t help his baby bunny? So of course Daddy will help you out, pick out what you’re gonna wear for the day, what to eat… All he wanted was the best for his baby.

Which is why he made you a special little gift. You have been stressing out more than usual as of late, so William has taken the executive decision to remove every last bit of stress from you. And with this-

William held up a mechanical device underneath the blinding bulb of the overhead lamp sitting above his workbench. He inspected it for any imperfections. The device itself was sleek and smooth, a plastic outer shell, in the shape of an egg-like structure. The top had an opening, fit with soft smooth silicone. The opening was no more than a few inches deep, and at the base of the toy was a more phallic silicone object. All waterproof and skin safe of course.

William smiled at himself in self satisfaction. He had made great unbelievable advancements with his robotics, so certainly machines of this nature wouldn't be difficult for him to replicate.

Toys were no new thing for you and William, but it would be the first time he built one for you. Completely tailored to your body, your greatest weakest points all taken into account upon creation. To have William’s precious baby bunny come undone from his own creations, was an exhilarating thought. One that practically made his pants tighten at the mere thought.

After feeling satisfied with the aesthetics of it, William decided to try the power. A few second long press of the button and the little toy came to life. A soft humming resonated through the workshop, and William carefully examined the toy. Pressing the opening to his hand he smiled.

Just the right amount of vacuum pressure, vibration, and the pulsating inner core really tied it all together. His hand slid to the phallic object on the other end of the toy, wrapping around it tight, imagining his hand to be your inner core gripping onto it. He smiled once more as his hand ached, just knowing the thousands of nerve endings in your cute little pussy would be no match.

Yes this will do. This certainly will do.

It would take away his baby bunny’s stress but even their mind as well… Though this was no concern for William, you are his bunny after all, and that includes having ownership over your mind. He’ll take good care of it as he does you…

Though his little excursion didn't end there. Once the toy was all set he grabbed a miscellaneous dime bag, filled with crystalline substances and headed upstairs into the kitchen.

He loves his baby bunny he really does. And he’s so proud of them for working so hard. But his bunny works too hard sometimes, not knowing when to stop. Even he struggled to get his bunny to rest.. Some nights William had to physically pull you away from work and into bed… and with the amount of stress you’ve been harboring as of late… William wasn’t taking any chances! So of course he needed to take things into his own hands.

He was cooking dinner for you, and upon plating the servings did he make sure to incorporate a decent dose of the crystallized powder into your serving. He hummed in satisfaction and returned to waiting for your arrival.

☼☽⋆｡°✧ ✧⋆°｡☾☼

The familiar sound of the door locks unlatching brought upon William’s attention.

“I’m homee !” your voice called out, completely intertwined with stress and exhaustion.

Oh poor baby, you sounded so stressed..

William rushed over to greet you, cupping your face in his hands and pressing kisses all over.

“Welcome home Sweetie”

You giggled at the sensation of his beard and kisses tickling your face. You wrapped your arms around him tight as he showered you with his love.

William rubbed your back soothingly and gave you a gentle pat.

“Aww my poor baby…”, he cooed, running his hands through your hair soothingly.

“I can feel the tension in you…Why don't you let me take good care of you. I made dinner already so why don’t we get all cleaned up and eat hm?”

You pull yourself slightly away from him, not enough to fully separate yourself from him and nod.

“Yes.. that would be so nice” you respond, the sound of exhaustion in your voice apparent.

William hummed in satisfaction and scooped you up to head towards the bathroom. He turned the knob on the shower on and began to gingerly undress you, leaving gentle kisses on your bare skin whenever exposed. He really had to hold himself back from going overboard, there would be plenty of time for that later, but for now he just needed to care for his bunny a little bit.

Once declothed the both of you entered the shower, water now hot enough to your liking. You found yourself hugging Will again, feeling affectionate. The vague weariness in your limbs causing you to lean into him exhaustively.

“My poor baby, all stressed and tired” William squeezes you tight before running his hands down your body. He reached over for the soap to begin cleaning you, keeping you close.

Letting William bathe you like this was always so intimate and sweet. It really highlighted the more gentle side of himself. The way he worked was focused, methodical, similar to him cleaning his animatronics, and with that spark in his eye. That spark that said “This is mine”

Once clean, you both head to the kitchen to eat. You already feel so much better, the heat from the water and Will’s gentle affection soothing your body and mind.

You sat down at the table already feeling much better, and now noticing your hunger. Will returned from the kitchen with two plates of food, setting yours right in front of you.

“Aw Will, it’s so sweet of you to have cooked for us, its like you’re the housewife for a change” you joke, as Will cooking was rare. You tended to cook for the both of you like the sweet housewife you were to him.

Will chuckled in response “You’ll always be my little housewife bunny, plus, how could I not take care of my baby?”

You smile at his words and begin to eat.

“This is delicious! Thank you again Will” though you noticed something was off with the aftertaste. It was almost sour. Maybe William wasn’t the best cook but you paid no mind to it. You just pushed past it and continued to finish your plate.

“You don’t have to thank me bunny, I’m just taking care of you” he smiled.

As you finished your plate, you noticed the beginnings of a sensation pooling in your stomach. You could feel your head start to feel a bit hazy. It felt as if… something was kicking in? You shook your head, choosing to ignore it and finish your meal.

But the feelings only increased. Your vision shifted in and out of focus and you squirmed in your seat.

“What’s the matter?” William reached across the table and grasped your hand, rubbing soothing circles onto the back of it.

“I’m-I’m fine really, just a little dizzy” you go to stand up and thats when it really hits you.

You stumbled and Will was quick to catch you, getting up from his seat and headed towards you, wrapping you tight in his arms.

“Whoa there sweetie ! Be careful !”

“Aahh Will, I feel weird, like something is kicking in” You hold onto the man tight, feeling your head go more and more numb. The warm feelings increased and spread throughout your whole body. Being so close to Will and simply just touching him made it worse. Did being this close to him always feel this good?

His scent; cigarettes, cologne and a secret third thing that was just so purely William filled your senses as he held you close. And the tactile feeling of his soft shirt and warmth of his body was just so intoxicating.

“W…..Will, Did you drug the food…? I’m not mad… just wondering..” You nuzzle him affectionately and glance up at him with those sweet eyes of yours.

He smiles at you in return, petting you lovingly.

“Aww baby I had to! You were so stressed and upset I couldn’t just leave you like that… and you’re a very good bunny you always are.. but sometimes you don’t listen and won’t rest.. So Daddy needed to give you special medicine to help you relax is all. I just want the best for you”

You let out a soft whine as the drug continues to assault your system, and Will’s sweet words bounce around in your brain, registering purely as pleasure.

“Daddyyy… I love you Daddy… so good to me.. taking care of me like this”

You couldnt help but feel a rush of excitement over the situation. How Will loved you. Loved you so much he’d do anything to make you feel better. To even go as far as to drug you as a way to release you from your stress had your head spinning and your pussy throbbing.

“Now sweet bunny why don’t we get you to bed hm? So Daddy can help scrub away whatever stressful little things are left in that pretty head of yours”

William scooped you up once again and took you to the bedroom, making sure to leave a long kiss on your forehead, pouring all his love into it.

“There we are…. Now how are you feeling?”

Daddy sat on the bed as you lay next to him.

He gazed down at you, gently petting your hair, occasionally running his thumb across your cheek affectionately.

“Mm feeling all floaty… its nice…. want.. want Daddy closer” You reached out to him, wanting to hold him close.

“Of course darling” William moved across the bed to hold you tight, increasing his petting to your whole body. He ran his hands down your arms, your side, down your thighs and back up, repeating the motion, each time creeping closer and closer to your inner thighs.

All you could do was babble and whine as you regressed into a more docile and dumbed down version of yourself. High off the pleasure from the chemicals of the drug and your Daddy’s gentle touches and words.

William loved seeing you like this, all dumb and sweet for him. Seeing every last bit of stress leave your face, seeing you relax into him, unable to even form coherent sentences. He leaned down to kiss your face again, in between muttering words of praise.

“My bunny, so good for me”

You wriggled and whined, feeling increasingly needy as he continued. Eventually you couldn’t take it and captured his lips in a deep kiss.

Though you were the one who initiated the kiss, you were quickly put into submission as William took control, holding you firmly in place as he kissed you so deeply.

His hand dips in between your thighs as he lightly sucks on your tongue, rubbing gently over your clothed clit.

William smiled through the kiss and pressed his hand harder onto your cunt. He didnt move for a few seconds, but held his hand still, pressing into the dampening fabric. The firm pressure of his hand on your crotch made your head melt even further. Feeling the edges of your mind slip away as he continues rubbing you deeper into submission.

“Aww is my baby getting needy?”

You continue to make sweet noises for him, and he gently shushes and pets your hair, slipping his hand into your panties to touch you directly.

Your reaction is immediate.

You gasp out as your head spins. The feeling of his fingers on you is such a simple action, yet its breaking you apart.

“Such a good bunny for Daddy, taking pleasure so well” William kisses your forehead and removes his hand from your crotch and roughly pulls your panties down and off of your body. Then, he aligns his hips with your crotch and begins to grind against your bare cunt.

You can feel yourself soaking the front of his pants, the rough fabric and his hardening cock grinding into your overly sensitive pussy.

“Ddadddyyy too much ahhh—!” you cry out as he roughly ruts against you.

Your head still spinning you feel William grip your hips and push them against his, ignoring your cry.

“You’re all mine bunny, this cute little cunt of yours belongs to me ”

William wraps his arm around your waist and pushes you ever closer to him. His hips began to increase in pace as you start to cry out for him over and over. Leading into an explosive climax, you cum all over him, feeling a rush of wetness between the both of you.

William continues grinding into you, overstimulating you but not too much.

This was just the beginning, and he couldn’t get too carried away just yet. And look how cute you were, cumming all over his clothed hard crotch.

William kisses your forehead, and leans close to your ear and speaks lowly,

“Darling, I have a surprise for you,”

“Wha? Daddy?” You barely could register what he was saying to you, your mind melded with the drug and the overwhelming high of post orgasm bliss and overstimulation.

William reached into the nightstand to reveal a lewd looking object, clearly a sex toy that he himself had engineered.

“This is made especially for you my princess,” he leaned back over to you on the bed and started peppering your face with kisses.

Sliding his hand down your body he gently rubbed you again, and with his other hand clicked on the toy.

A humming vibrating noise filled the room along with your uneven breaths, your brain now registering just what he was talking about.

William went on to explain the toys functionality, in the same way he would go on about his own animatronic creations. Methodical and professional, his voice confident and unwavering as if he didn’t have a trembling little bunny beneath him.

“This here is for your clit. The opening is fit with soft silicone. I just know how sensitive you are there sweetie, its one of your weakest points and Daddy just can’t help but play with it hm?”

“When I place it on you,” William held the toy firmly against you,

“there’ll be a bit of vacuum suction and vibration of course, all meant to overwhelm your cute little clit with pleasure”

Before you even had the chance to respond William clicked the toy on, and your response was immediate.

“Dadddyyyyyy—!”

Your clit is sucked up gently into the toy exposing every sensitive nerve to devilish vibration.

Your hips jerk upwards and William pins you down firmly, pressing the toy ever so slightly harder into your supple flesh.

Its pleasure like you’ve never felt before. Your weakest point manipulated solely by your Daddy’s creation.

You writhe under his grasp, crying out broken moans and whines of “Daddy” fully melting underneath his assault directly on your clit. And it just keeps going.

It’s only seconds before you’re cumming again, and again, and again. Completely overwhelmed with continuous orgasms, your body unable to handle the newfound pleasure that has been bestowed upon you.

“Shhh sweetie its okay. Just keep cumming for Daddy alright?” William’s voice is sickeningly sweet, laced with lust as he continues pushing his creation harder onto your clit, upping the power even more.

“Too much Daddy— its too—!” tears slip out your eyes, completely overwhelmed with mind numbing pleasure.

“Aww my poor baby” William leans down to capture your lips in a deep kiss to shush you, wiping away your tears. You can barely kiss him back, just crying out as he dominates your whole being completely.

After he pulls a few more orgasms out of you he finally puts the toy to rest. He kisses you deeply, his feverish movements now slow and intimate. He sets the toy aside and rubs his hands soothingly up and down your body. He breaks his kiss with you and gently wipes your tears away. He then kisses down your body, leaving marks at your neck, down your chest, kissing softly on your tummy.

Once his face greets your overstimulated, swollen pussy he gently pushes a single digit into you. You’re tight, but due to your arousal and subsequent orgasms you’re cunt is more receptive to the intrusion.

He pushes his finger in and out slowly as you begin to whine again when his finger curls just right inside of you. He stretches you out slowly and fully, inserting another finger.

“Good bunny, taking my fingers so well”

Once he feels satisfied with his work, he reaches back for the toy, this time his attention on the other side of the object. He clicks on the button and teases your entrance with it. Your clit still buzzing and your head still melting, you cry out as you feel William push in the vibrator. Your walls clench against the vibrating toy, already feeling pleasure heat you up once again.

William wraps you into his arms and kisses you again as the toy assaults your insides.

At this point your head is mush, overwhelmed with so much bliss as Daddy cares for you. Every worry and every bit of stress you carried completely melting out of you. Your head lulls and William holds you up

“Don’t go out on me now sweetie, Daddy isn’t done with you yet. I still have to breed that tight little cunt of yours”

“Daddyyy please—-“

“Wanna feel you deep inside—!”

You whine out feeling your cunt overwhelmed with pleasure as the toy inside you continues to buzz. It feels so good but it isn’t Daddy. And you want Daddy’s thick cock and virile seed inside of you, desperately.

“No need to beg sweetheart Daddy’s got you” he pulls the toy out of you, then undoing his belt and fly, pulling his straining cock out his pants. He strokes himself a few times kissing the corners of your mouth as you gasp for breath.

He lines himself up with your heated core and slowly pushes himself in. Savoring the feeling of your tight heat with every inch.

“Biiiig stretch bunny” William completely sheaths himself inside of you, and you can feel your walls stretch to accommodate his large size. He’s much bigger than the toy so its quite the fit. You feel him snug against your cervix and you let out a drawn out moan as you’re completely filled with Daddy’s cock.

“Nggghhhh… so deep Daddy”

Slowly and firmly he presses even deeper before sliding out slightly. Sensually and gently fucking into you.

Your head spins, your breath quickens, your mind completely hazy as you take your Daddy’s cock so deep inside.

William presses his forehead against yours and intertwines his fingers with your trembling hands.

“My sweet baby bunny, you’re so good for me”

You can only moan in response, completely incoherent as the drug pulses through your veins and pleasure spreading from your cunt to your entire body.

William languidly fucks into you, wrapping his arms around you tight. He lifts your hips and pulls all the way out leaving your hole clenching on nothing for a brief second before he slams himself in again. This time rough and even deeper, practically bruising your cervix.

You cry out as William ruts into you at a rough pace, all his inhibitions gone. He loved toying with you, but he’s just been aching to be inside you all day.

“Ahh— Haah Daddyyy—!”

“Good bunny taking Daddy’s cock so well. Gonna breed you so fucking good”

William continues his brutal pace, bringing one of his hands to your throat and pressing down firmly. You gasp and squirm under his touch, bringing your hands to his, feeling the strength of his grip on your sensitive neck.

Your head becomes impossibly even hazier as Daddy presses his hand tighter onto your throat. You glance up at him and see nothing but love and adoration in his eyes. His precious bunny was being so good for him. Taking his cock so well while he choked you. He truly loved you so much.

Your hips lift up to take him as deep as possible, lewd wet sounds filling the room. Nothing but pleasure is coursing through your veins and in that pretty little head of yours.

“Look at my baby bunny, taking a proper fucking from Daddy, yeah?”

“Ahh- Haah fuck so good Daddy!”

William releases your throat from his grip and reaches over and grabs the toy again, pressing it on once more.

You gasp for air and once the sound of vibration hits your ears you feel yourself ache again.

“Daddy I can’t-“

before you even finish your sentence the toy is back on your clit, sucking and vibrating the oversensitive nub.

You cry out a broken scream as the sensations of being ruthlessly bred and your clit stimulated at the same time overwhelming your poor bunny brain as you cum all over again, clenching around William’s cock.

“Feels good doesn’t it princess?”

“Gonna fill your womb with my cum. Gonna make you a mommy” William groans out, watching your fucked out expression as he rams himself deep inside you.

Your mind goes nearly blank at the thought of carrying his child and William notices, and that look alone brings him to the edge. He curses as he feels himself spill inside you, thrusting and pushing his cum deep into your womb. He leans into the crook of your neck and groans as he feels you squeeze him so nicely.

“Such a nice hole for me to fuck…such a pretty womb all for Daddy to ruin”

“Mmm—! Daddyyy love you so muuuuch—!” You cry out, wrapping your arms around him tight, tears spilling out your eyes once more.

“Love you too bunny” William kisses you deeply, keeping eye contact with you as he does. You cum around his cock again, milking him for all he’s worth. He keeps lazily thrusting and sets the toy aside, settling on rubbing your sensitive nub in slow, soothing circles.

You continue to throb and clench around him involuntarily, softly panting in your post orgasm bliss.

“Mmm my pretty bunny”

William pets your hair softly, moving a strand out of your face.

You’re completely gone at this point, William having corrupted you completely and fully. Turning his sweet little stressed bunny into his pleasure filled fucktoy.

He kisses you again, gently and soft.

“Love you my sweet princess” he whispers, watching as you lose consciousness there in his arms.

[lara-kaminari]

Mr. Gaunt

Ominis Gaunt x F!Reader (+18!)

Ominis Gaunt is not an easy man to satisfy.

Content warning: Explicit content, smut, nsfw, p in v

Ominis Gaunt is not an easy person to satisfy.

Mr. Gaunt likes a cup of unsweetened coffee waiting for him every morning on the left side of his desk, right under the lamp his best friend gave him when he returned from his honeymoon in Egypt. The cup should be at the perfect height so that Ominis can sit down and just reach out his hand to drink it.

Mr. Gaunt always likes to have lunch at the same time, in his office, without noise or distracting incidents. He likes a good piece of steak with mashed potatoes, the steak rare and the potatoes should be well trodden but should not be out of shape.

Everything must be perfect or the wrath of Mr. Gaunt will be unleashed.

She knew this, although her first time there she thought they were mere exaggerations. She was only there because her parents considered her a person incapable of taking care of herself and who “needs to know the real world.” Yeah, right, you steal a dragon's egg for a bet and suddenly you're a girl who needs to work in the summer to become a useful member of society.

But this does not feel like an adequate punishment to reform her.

It was a foolish mistake. She was in a hurry and didn't leave the cup exactly under the shade of the lamp, Ominis' hand over stretched and the object fell to the ground. A completely ruined morning. As if it couldn't get any worse, not only the mug fell, but also a small crystal figurine, a gift from the renowned bearer of ancient magic.

That's how she ended up nailed to the wall in the office, with her skirt and panties down, her tits exposed and her pussy being fucked mercilessly.

—Mr. Gaunt, please…

—Shut up, I don't want to hear your complaints.

His hips thrust deeper inside her, her wet pussy drawing him in barely able to hide her moans and in fear of being overheard by the workers in the joint room.

—O-ominis, wait, we can't be too…!

She barely manages to say another word, Ominis pushes her against the desk and rips off what little clothing she still had left. He doesn't care that her clothes are damaged or that she has to work overtime to replace the skirt that now has an unprofessional cut on one side.

Mr. Gaunt couldn't care less as he places one of his secretary's legs over his shoulders and slams his thick cock into her once again. Each thrust sends the girl's body bouncing up and down on the table, her hard, throbbing clit taking Ominis's rough caresses to her heart's content.

She reaches out to grab the sides of the desk and rolls her eyes as the head of her boss's cock slides perfectly against her g-spot. She could swear that the mere stimulation is about to make her cry.

—That's what you wanted, isn't it? That's why you piss me off, you just want this slutty cunt to be filled with my cum…

He's close, she'd be lying if she said she doesn't know when she's about to come and what her orgasms are like. Mr. Gaunt likes to cum inside her, especially when he's angry. Mr. Gaunt doesn't know that she has begun to enjoy that feeling.

A thick warmth fills her. Her body trembles once more, another orgasm rushes over her and her nails dig into the dull edge of the table. His cock continues to squirt and more cum pools in her loins. The man's seed leaks and squirts like a mess, but at least they are both satisfied.

Then it's like everything is back to normal until dismissal time when her parents come to pick her up. Everyone goes crazy when they see Sebastian Sallow and his amazing wife walk in.

Ominis Gaunt's best friends.

—How did my daughter behave today? I hope she didn't give you any trouble. —Said Sebastian.

—Not at all, she definitely didn't inherit your bad behavior.

—Very funny; darling, say goodbye to your uncle Ominis.

Ominis Gaunt is not easy to please, he has perfect standards. He is perfect. Impeccable. Flawless. Perhaps the only dirt on him is seen behind closed doors and she's not one to share his secret.

—See you tomorrow, Uncle Ominis.

[emeritus-fuckers]

i just had. a very cute idea. papas with an s/o that loves baking. 🫶🫶🫶

Papas with s/o who likes baking

TW: mentions of drugs (weed).

Primo

He enjoys baking as well!

He would absolutely get the two of you matching Aprons

He would be the one to have an old notebook full of recipes, the ink of the pen he wrote them with washed and faded, the paper curled at the edges and tanned with age.

Let's you decide what to bake, and always helps if you ask for it.

Will bake for you if you're sad.

Secondo

This man cannot bake or cook to save his life.

He will not be allowed in the kitchen, because he will somehow burn whatever you are baking, even if you just asked him to whisk the eggs.

He is will stand just out side of the kitchen though, and just happily watching you bake and move around the kitchen

Will demand to eat everything that you make, and will demand you bake him cookies the night after one of his parties, to cure his hangover of course.

Terzo

He also cannot bake, but damn if he doesn't try.

He will do his best, doing simple things such as whisking eggs or preheating the oven.

Will flirt with you the entire time you're baking. Baking pick up lines.

He will steal a cookie or a piece of cake before it's had any time to cool down and then cry into your chest, being addimaite that the treat had attacked him.

Copia

He loves baking!

Primo taught him how to bake a few things, so he is more than happy to teach you or learn!

He will pull you in for a cuddle session with flour covering the both of you, giggling as he kisses your head and couldn't care less about the flour getting all over the both of your clothing.

You can catch him stealing treats off of the pan just when they're cool enough.

Also makes treats for his rats.

Old Nihil

Thinks it's adorable.

He's pretty much useless in the kitchen, so he just... sits there and stares at you.

Compliments your skills on every single step.

You took milk out of the fridge? You're absolutely amazing.

You read the recipe? Damn, you're so good at reading recipes!

He adores you so much.

Praises the hell out of what you made. He loves it. It's honestly adorable.

Young Nihil

He's not too fond of domestic stuff, so he doesn't really care too much at first...

But then you make the most amazing weed infused brownies ever and suddenly edibles are his favorite way to get high.

He cannot be trusted with most things in the kitchen by he does like watching and do little things for you.

He'll hand you ingredients (you have to pay him with a kiss for each one) and hold you from behind as you do things, nuzzling into your neck and getting it covered in his paint.

And besides, a little fun while you wait for whatever you're baking is in the oven can't hurt, right?

~

Papas I-IV written by Zenith/Jasper.

Papa Nihil written by Nosferatu.

Taglist: @charlie-is-a-menace @copias-fluffy-asscheeks @randodummy @tuttifuckinfruttifriday @calliedion-dungeon @randominstake @callmeicaro @nuntia @dio-niisio @mamacarlyle @firefirevampire @mybotanicaldemise @emo-mess @natoncesaid @sirlsplayland @ouijaboardemo @lightbluuestars @igodownjustlikeholymary @thatoddboy @strawberriiblossoms @dark-angel-is-back @choco-meow69

[sihtricfedaraaahvicius]

chapter 9

Note: direct follow up to chapter 8 of the Fighter fic. Other Fighter chapters are in my masterlist.

Warnings: 18+!! fluff, smut, suggestive. mention of alcohol.

pairing: Modern!Sihtric x you (f)

summary: Sihtric slowly found himself back again, while you managed to surprise him.

wordcount: 4,5k

Masterlist

'What's gotten into you?'

After you had finally managed to drag your husband away from the beach, up the hotel entrance stairs and eventually into your room, you didn't even have a chance to sober him up. As soon as Sihtric hit the bed, he fell asleep. And he snored. Loud. His insanely loud snoring could probably be heard all the way down at that beach party. You struggled to take off his clothes, leaving him to sleep in just his tight, Gucci boxer shorts, and you finally laid down next to him after having changed into sleeping gear yourself. You laid awake for hours, making sure he was okay and didn't accidentally get some kind of alcohol poisoning. 

After a while he more or less woke up and kept trying to hug you, which told you he was doing fine. He kept trying to kiss you, and you had to push him over to face the other side, so his cocktail scented breath wasn't being breathed in your face anymore. After that you eventually fell asleep for a few hours.

It was almost noon when you woke up because you suddenly heard Sihtric sprint to the bathroom, where he threw up, again. He reappeared after a few minutes, and you couldn't help but snicker at his appearance. He was looking awfully pale. What was left of his previously braided hair was more a tangled mess that resembled something of a bird's nest, and his eyes were heavy. So much for a fun night out. 

'You okay?' you asked as Sihtric stumbled back towards the bed.

'Yeah,' he said, his voice hoarse, 'just my head is fucking killing me. And I had the weirdest dream,' he shuddered, 'I fought one of those gigantic spiders you're so afraid of, but... but he wasn't afraid of me?'

You stared at him, blinking a few times while being speechless at the sudden random information.

'I... I think you should try to eat something, sweetheart. Do you want me to call room service? Get you some juice and some scrambled eggs or something?'

Sihtric groaned, grabbed onto his stomach, and ran back into the bathroom.

'Guess not,' you mumbled as you grimaced at the sound of him being sick again.

The rest of the day was uneventful, as Sihtric needed the entire day to recover from his hangover, and you had to catch up with some sleep yourself. The following days after the beach party, Sihtric slowly started to pick up a workout routine again. Early in the mornings he'd go for a jog, before the sun was fully risen, and you found him shadow boxing on the balcony in the evenings. Overall, his mood improved quickly within those days and before you knew it, you only had one day left before your flight back home again. You once again had dinner at the hotel and enjoyed some quiet time in your room, after both having packed up most stuff in your suitcases.

'You want to go to the beach?' Sihtric asked when you just finished braiding his hair.

You happily agreed, grabbed a bag and a few towels, and went to the same beach you've spent earlier evenings at. 

It was once again quiet, with only a handful of people around. Despite Sihtric being quite a pain to be around the first few days, this holiday did turn out to be the best one in regards to going out in public. You were hardly ever bothered, and it made Sihtric more at ease to leave the hotel with you. Sure, you hadn't really done any sightseeing, but then again, you didn't even want to go to Australia in the first place, so you didn't care much.

At the beach, you found a little hidden spot between a few high rocks, where you spread out the towels. Then, you took off your dress under which you wore your bikini, the latter which didn't cover a whole lot of skin to be honest, and you grabbed the book you were still reading as you settled down. You frowned when you saw Sihtric approach the water, something he hadn't done the other evenings, but you were glad he was keeping himself busy while it was still bright enough to read. For a moment you thought he was ging to take a dive in the water with his thin, white sleeveless shirt still on, but he didn't. Instead, he sat down in the sand and you focused on your book.

You finally managed to read one whole page of your book, and when you figured Sihtric was awfully quiet, you peeked up over the pages, only to see him do some sit-ups not far from you. You smiled at the pleasant sight, but managed to bring your eyes back to your book again, reading yet another whole page. When you peeked at Sihtric again, you caught him doing push-ups. You tried to bring your focus back to your book again, but couldn't help your eyes wandering back to your husband and his ridiculously sized biceps. You had to admit, after a few days without any sexual activity, you desperately wanted to be handled by him, but not that rough. 

Sihtric was oblivious to your hungry stare and, after a long moment of eyeing up your husband, you finally managed to continue your book. Until, moments later, Sihtric suddenly snatched the book out of your hands and grabbed your ankle. He pulled you towards him, quickly took off his shirt, then picked you up as you screamed and he threw you over his shoulder.

'What the hell!' you laughed as he walked towards the water again, 'what are you doing?'

'Going for a swim.'

'What? No!' you yelled and giggled, trying to fight him, but you simply didn't stand a chance.

Sihtric let his body drop down into the water once he had walked in far enough, and you went along with him, completely under, where you managed to escape his grip. You half swam, half ran from him, but Sihtric was still much faster than you. He got a hold of you before you could reach the dry sand, and he pulled you back in the water. You let out a sudden yelp when he picked you up again and did the same as before, dunking underwater with you in his arms. You hadn't seen Sihtric smile this wide or laugh this hard in a while, so you let him have his moment, enjoying the innocent taunting of the man you love entirely and wholeheartedly. All his flaws and his perfections, he was yours, and you him completely.

'What's gotten into you?' you smiled when he finally seemed to calm down, and he pulled you close as you stood almost up to your chest in the sea.

'I don't know,' Sihtric smiled, his arms circled around your waist under water, and he nuzzled your nose and cheek, 'could be that bikini of yours,' he chuckled.

'Oh, come on, you've seen it before,' you said, and softly hummed at his affection.

'Yeah,' he said, 'but it's like… I don't know,' he suddenly smiled shyly, 'like you look even prettier today than usual. Which should be impossible.'

You giggled and felt your cheeks heat up. 

'You look really good today too,' you said while squeezing his biceps, 'I saw your little work-out,' you grinned, 'I'm sure in some countries you'd been arrested for being too damn sexy.'

Sihtric smiled and blushed, then buried his face in your neck, softly pecking your skin while he held you close. Then, he hooked his arms under your knees and lifted you up. You wrapped your legs around his waist while he held you up, conveniently for him, by holding your buttocks in his hands. You didn't mind, but you were already aroused since he did those push-ups, and now that he squeezed your ass occasionally as you kissed him, the pressure only got worse.

'Honey,' you giggled, but Sihtric silenced you with a kiss.

He bit your lower lip softly, and when you wrapped your arms around his neck, you both deepened the kiss. Sihtric's breathing became heavier, turning into light moans against your lips while your tongues slowly moved against each other like waves, as the ocean water calmly pushed up against your back.

'Fuck,' Sihtric breathed, 'you don't know what you do to me, bunny,' he whispered in between his slow, wet kisses, 'you really don't fucking know, baby.'

'Then tell me,' you whispered, feeling overwhelmed with a sudden rush of butterflies as your lips crashed back onto your husband's.

'I can't explain it,' Sihtric whispered, 'you're everything,' he smiled against your lips, 'so beautiful,' he kissed you again, 'so sweet,' he flicked his tongue against your lips and chuckled softly, 'so fucking perfect, bunny. I'm the luckiest man alive,' he gazed up into your eyes, 'I only ever want you. I'm yours. All yours. And I want everything with you,' he whispered before he kissed you deeply again, 'everything with you, for the rest of my life.'

'Sihtric,' you breathed and cupped his cheeks, 'I… I really want you to make love to me right now.'

'Gods,' he chuckled with a desperate moan, 'I thought you'd never ask.'

He carried you back onto the beach, where he put you down on your feet as soon as he had reached the towels.

'Hotel?' Sihtric asked, impatiently, while you closed the book he had snatched away earlier and threw it in your beach bag, 'should I call a cab, bunny?'

'No,' you said, quickly looking around and not finding a single soul nearby, 'here,' you then giggled and sat down on the towels, 'now.'

'H-here?' Sihtric asked, with big eyes.

A sudden blush settled on his cheeks as he watched you lay down, slowly pulling to loosen the string that held your bikini top up around your neck, revealing your bare breasts to him within seconds.

'Come here, tiger,' you purred. 

You gave him a cheeky smile and beckoned him over, using your index finger teasingly to lure him closer. Sihtric wasted no time and followed your lead, moving on top of you. His head was spinning, and his eyes darkened at the sight of your almost completely naked body underneath him, in public, while the setting sun casted the colour of fire on your skin, which resembled the burning sensation he felt inside for you, he thought.

'What if anyone sees us?' he asked.

'Then let them watch,' you breathed, 'let them watch how good you treat me.'

You didn't care right about anyone else, you just wanted him, now. Sihtric grinned and bit down on his lip. He slowly removed your bikini thong, whereas you were fast to pull down his swimming trunks. A warm breeze touched your skin pleasantly, before Sihtric moved his body in between your thighs.

'Baby?' you whispered and cupped his cheeks.

Sihtric looked at you with soft, questioning eyes. 'Hm?'

'Go easy, okay?' you said, tracing his lips slowly with your thumb, 'I don't just want to fuck,' you whispered, smiling, 'I want you to love me.'

'I always love you,' Sihtric whispered, taking your chin gently with his fingertips, 'Always. I got you, bunny,' he smiled and kissed your lips, 'I got you, I promise. Let me take care of you,' he whispered before he kissed his way down your neck, to your breasts, down your stomach and on to your inner thigh.

You were already lightheaded with lust and love before you felt his lips leave soft, wet kisses onto your folds, until he slowly and firmly used his tongue to nearly push you over your edge within minutes. Desperately trying to keep quiet, you had to stop him before you'd finish and become overstimulated. Sihtric got the hint and, with a satisfied yet cocky smile, he brought his face back up to yours. He kissed you deeply as he finally entered you, both trying your hardest to keep your moans as quiet as possible. Sihtric moved his big hands up into your hair and one down to your thigh, holding you close as he thrusted into you, slow and deep, while you had your arms wrapped around his neck and one leg hooked around his waist. He moaned when you met his movements by rolling your hips against his. He then kissed you, slow and deep, the same way he made love to you on that beach while the sun was slowly disappearing into the ocean.

'I love you,' Sihtric breathed, with a desperate tone, 'gods, I love you, lady.'

'And I love you, husband,' you smiled against his lips, and Sihtric moaned heavily at your words.

The next day you found yourself in the plane again, first class, ready to fly back home. Before Sihtric settled down next to you, you quickly hid the tiny liquor bottles, which the flight attendants had prepared for each first class passenger. Sihtric may have said he didn't want any alcohol again, but you knew he would get bored during the long flight and would try to down whichever tiny liquor shot he could find. And the last thing you wanted was a drunk, former kickboxing champion stuck on a plane. 

Still all head over heels for you since the passionate love making on the beach the night before, Sihtric couldn't keep his hands or lips off you. Despite leaving boiling Australia, he was dressed in black sweatpants, a black hooded sweater, the hood pulled up to cover his braided hair and part of his face, while wearing black sunglasses to be more or less unrecognisable. He pulled you against his chest after he had reclined his seat, so he could lay back comfortably, and he brought your knee up to rest on his legs. 

Moments after the plane had taken off, Sihtric gently pushed your chin up to kiss you. Soft, sweet pecks at first, but soon enough his kisses became deeper and sloppier. He held your face while his other hand found its way to your ass, softly massaging as he moved his big, warm hand over the smooth fabric of your matching sweatpants, and occasionally giving you a firm squeeze. He hummed and chuckled softly during the sweet but intense make out session. And you don't know what suddenly got into you, but you couldn't seem to stop yourself from rubbing your palm over his crotch, feeling his cock harden quickly.

'Don't tease me like that,' Sihtric whispered, smiling, before he kissed you again while he squeezed your ass a little harder.

'You're my husband,' you giggled softly, 'I can tease you all I want.'

'Mhm,' he hummed, 'I am your husband, and proudly so,' he whispered, 'but you know we're too loud to have sex on a plane, bunny. We won't get away with it.'

'Don't worry,' you grinned as you snuck your hand down his sweatpants, 'I don't want to have sex.'

'You don't?' Sihtric furrowed his brow as he stared at you from behind his sunglasses, but he quickly smiled again as you continued teasing him with your hand.

'No,' you shrugged with a sly smile, granting him a few more seconds of the secret pleasure.

Then you abruptly pulled away from him and got up, leaving your seat. You looked back over your shoulder as you made way to the toilets, and you waited for about a minute before Sihtric managed to follow you without raising any suspicion. Without anyone noticing, you pulled him into the cramped space, locked the door, closed the toilet lid, and you pushed Sihtric to sit down before he could even take off his glasses.

'Wow, baby,' Sihtric chuckled and pushed the hood of his sweater down while he removed his shades, 'what has gotten into you today?'

You had no idea what had gotten into you, all you wanted was to please your husband right now. So you just gave him a cheeky smile and a shrug. Then, you parted his knees and kneeled down between his thighs. Sihtric leaned back, biting down on his lip with a sly smile, his eyes already heavy, his cheeks coloured rosy while his hands moved up into your loose hair.

'Hm, you gonna treat me, bunny?' he husked.

'Mhm,' you hummed with a smile, moving your hands slowly up his muscular thighs.

You cupped his arousal, gently massaging him as you leaned in to kiss his lips. Sihtric hummed against your lips, already struggling to contain his excitement, and you told him he better be quiet.

'How quiet I am,' he said and leaned back again, 'depends entirely on my wife.'

You smiled, then took out his cock, and proceeded to give him the best blowjob he ever had, according to him. And you knew he wasn't lying, as he nearly blacked out after you made him finish. And you knew his heavy, beast-like growl was without a doubt heard outside of the toilet door. But you didn't care. You wiped your mouth with a smile, satisfied that you could please your husband that good it made him lose his ability to function for a good while afterwards. After you had quickly hopped back to your seat, Sihtric followed shortly after, stumbling as his head was still spinning. He sat down with a deep sigh and pulled you into his arms again, holding you tightly against his chest.

'Thank you, bunny,' Sihtric whispered and pecked your lips, then he pulled the hood of his comfy sweater up again and put his sunglasses back on.

'My pleasure,' you smiled and kissed his cheek, 'I love you.'

'I love you more. I promise I'll show you a good time after we land,' he said with a smile.

'Eh... at the airport toilet?' you grimaced.

'What? No!' Sihtric snorted, 'you know I prefer to eat in my car,' he winked.

You were both happy to be back home again, and you were also thrilled to find out Sihtric had accepted a rather short notice job. He was invited to attend a charity event at a local gym in two weeks, which helped troubled youngsters to stay off the streets and take their issues out with boxing. As Sihtric was quite the troublemaker himself, sometimes still struggling to stay on the right track, he gladly accepted the invite, but only if you'd join him, which you would.

Despite feeling a little under the weather that day, you enjoyed seeing him teach a whole bunch of children and teenagers some kickboxing basics during a masterclass. After that, there was a Q&A, which you enjoyed even more. You told Sihtric you wanted to sit with the crowd, not on stage, as you had no business there, but Sihtric only agreed if you'd be in the first row where he could see you, so he knew you were still close. 

You smiled at the sight of him, as he was clearly quite enjoying this day, despite being the centre of attention. The difference was that there was no media around, except for a local newspaper, so no one bothered him with private matters or made things uncomfortable.

'Will you come out of retirement again?' one youngster asked during the Q&A.

Sihtric chuckled when the entire crowd erupted in massive cheers, and he couldn't speak before everyone quieted down, so he glanced at you. You shrugged lightly, knowing that you could never decide that for him, and never would.

'I don't know if I will ever fight professional again,' Sihtric answered honestly, earring a few taunting boos from the kids, 'but I will fight whoever booed me,' Sihtric quickly remarked, to which everyone laughed and a few brave teens yelled they're up for it.

He looked at you again and you smiled at each other. You mouthed an I love you to him, to which he visibly blushed and blew you a quick kiss, which left you with a satisfied grin.

'How do you stay grounded when you are capable of fighting at the highest level? Like… how do you deal with fame?' someone else asked.

'Eh,' Sihtric said, then paused for a moment. 'As most of you may know, I don't deal well with fame at all. But,' he paused again, 'you need good people around you, people you trust,' Sihtric said, 'I'm blessed with my team. They stuck with me despite the stupid things I have done. Not just in the past, but also recently. Look,' he said, 'I don't have everything figured out either. Half of the time I don't know what I'm doing, or where I'm going. It's a weird life,' he admitted, 'it's not always fun. It can be very lonely, very isolating. It can become very depressing. Getting into the game because you want to be famous is the worst thing you can do. If you train with that goal in mind, I can guarantee you, you will fail. You have to want to become the best because you love the sport, not everything that comes with it. Because at the end of the day, after winning that huge title fight you so desperately wanted, and you're alone in your hotel room with that belt in your hands,' he paused again and shook his head lightly, 'you will find out that the belt, the title, the money, all that… it means fuck all.'

'Oh, ehh,' the host of the event said quickly after Sihtric's cursing.

'Oh, fuck, sorry,' Sihtric said, then groaned, 'I mean, crap,' he chuckled when everyone laughed.

You laughed, but had teared up at his speech, feeling awfully emotional for some reason, and it only got worse as the Q&A continued.

'What I try to say is, you have to be yourself, no matter what. Pay attention to those who have your back now and stick with you all the way to the top. Because those are the people you can trust. I'm sure you all know Uhtred and Finan,' Sihtric said, 'they've been with me from the beginning. But remember, always be wary of those who start to get close after you're booking success.'

Sihtric looked down at his feet when he earned a rather deafening applause and you quickly wiped a tear away.

'Do you still feel lonely?' a boy suddenly asked him.

Sihtric's stern look softened, and a shy smile appeared along with a spark in his eyes.

'No,' he said, 'I don't. Not anymore,' he looked at you, 'I've been blessed with a pretty lady who didn't care about who I was or what I had. In fact, she didn't even like me at first,' he laughed, 'but I still married her. She saw right through me and my tough guy act. Things would've been way different if she didn't stick around through some of the shi-, I mean, the hell I've put her through ever since we met. So,' he sniffled and cleared his throat, 'a good group of friends around you is important, but also a husband or wife who has your back is really important, if not the most important. Believe me, nothing beats the feeling of coming home and having someone who is waiting for you to step through that front door.'

You were a bawling mess by the end of the Q&A, and Sihtric was quick to run up to you as everyone left the room.

'Hey,' he cupped your cheeks, 'what's wrong, love? You look a little pale.'

'God, I don't know,' you sighed, 'I just don't feel well and your stupid speech made me cry,' you sniffled, 'honey, I'm sorry, but I really think it's better for me if I go home. I really don't feel good.'

'No, it's okay,' Sihtric said as he embraced you, 'I'm sure they'll understand why we are going home, bunny.'

'What?' you looked up at him, 'no, sweetheart, you stay here. I can get a ride home.'

'But-'

'No, Sihtric. These kids are dying to meet you, to have a chat and get a picture. You can't leave. I won't let you.'

'But-'

'No,' you said sternly, 'just stay, okay? You can't do much for me anyway back home, and It's good for you to do this on your own too. You will be fine, I promise,' you pecked his lips, 'just don't fight with anyone, that's all.'

Sihtric gave you a pained look. He really didn't want to let you go back home on your own, and he also truly didn't want to be left on his own either, but he knew you were right. Reluctantly, he agreed and called Finan to pick you up, as he didn't want you to get a random cab home. And after an uncountable 'I love you's' and endless quick kisses, Sihtric finally let you close the car door and allowed Finan to drive off.

'Fin?' you asked from the backseat, 'can you please stop by a pharmacy?'

'Uh, yeah,' the Irish man said, 'you okay?'

'Yeah, just gotta grab some… stuff.'

'Stuff, huh?' he asked, 'anything Sihtric should know of?'

'No, no,' you said, 'it's probably nothing.'

'Not pregnant, are you?' Finan snickered.

'Heh, imagine,' you feigned a chuckle and stared out of the car window.

The next afternoon you felt even more nauseous than the day before, where Sihtric had found you asleep in bed by the time he came home in the evening. And today, you had to tell Sihtric some news, but you couldn't find him in the annoyingly big house. When you decided to give up and just sit in the living room in your pyjamas, Sihtric suddenly snuck his arms around you from behind. You cursed loudly at the sudden scare, but you were also glad to have found your husband again.

'So-,' you tried to speak.

'Come with me,' Sihtric said as he took your hand, not hearing you.

Before you could say something else, he pulled you with him through the kitchen, into the gigantic backyard. It was early fall, but it was a pleasantly warm afternoon. Sihtric was dressed in an unbuttoned flannel, exposing his trained body while his signature black sweatpants were underneath, and his hair was tied back in a bun. He was effortlessly looking good, as per usual, you thought. You only decided to ignore the white socks he wore in those hideous green flip flops.

'Where are we going?' you asked, 'what are you doing?'

'I'm not telling,' Sihtric smiled as he guided you into the small forest he owned.

A few minutes later you stumbled upon a large blanket, spread out on the leaf covered ground, on which a few pillows and all kinds of foods and drinks were placed.

'Siht?' you teared up as you looked back at him, 'what is this? Wha-'

'Shh,' he hushed you with a kiss and led you onto the soft blanket, 'sit.'

You sat down, trying to be as relaxed as possible, but you couldn't shake your nerves despite the sweet, romantic setting.

'So,' Sihtric said as he poured you a cup of tea from a thermos flask, 'I have something to tell you.'

'Oh,' you looked surprised, 'I… I actually have something to tell you too.'

'Oh?' he said as he poured himself a cup, 'you go first then, bunny,' he smiled sweetly after he brought his full attention to you.

'No, no,' you chuckled, 'it's okay, love. I mean,' you looked around, 'you did all this? Why?'

'No, it can wait,' Sihtric smiled and kissed your cheek, 'spill your news.'

'No, I-'

'Love, just tell m-' Sihtric cut you off.

'No, babe-' you interrupted him.

This cutting off continued for a short while, until you both got so confused and riled up, that you both spilled your news at the same time, by accident, while completely talking over each other.

'Bunny, the UFC offered me a contract and I've signed it.'

'Honey, I'm pregnant.'

taglist: @clairacassidy @finanmoghra @uunotheangel @hb8301 @bathedinheat @neonhairspray @anaeve @bubblyabs @travelingmypassion @sylasthegrim @bubbles-for-all-of-us @andakth @bel-bottoms @willowbrookesblog @lady-targaryens-world @skyofficialxx @diosademuerte @elle4404 @alexagirlie @sweetxime @solango @gemini-mama @cheyennep3107 @little-diable @jennifer0305 @drwstarkeyy @mrsarnasdelicious @verenahx @urmomsgirlfriend1

[tohisprettyc00l]

Wild witch! reader x Hunter

A/n: This takes place during season 2a. Also your 16.

p/n: palisman's name

f/f: favorite flavor

You were very well known around the Boiling Isles! But less of a celebrity and more of a wanted criminal. Not that many people disliked you, but not many people dare talk to you. Which definitely hurt. But you carried on, not like you could do much about it. I mean you could get a sigil but there was no way in hell that was happening. So for now you'll have to deal with the dirty looks and getting chased by scouts.

When you were going about your daily routine you noticed a few scouts and sighed. You pulled your palisman out in preparation. But the leader of the group caught your eye. The Golden Guard. Most of the time it was some other random scout. On a day that you could assume much wasn't going on it was Warden Wrath. So needless to this was more than a shock. You rationed they most likely weren't here for you. I mean in a market a whole bunch of shady business was going on. Nonetheless, you made sure they couldn't see you just in case.

While you were trying to avoid needing to break out of the Conformatorium again, just in case they saw you. But then you overheard The Golden Guard talk and instruct the scouts to find you. Well, there goes any hope of having a normal day at the market. You grumbled as you snuck towards a stand selling rotten candy and Hex-Mix. The vendor's eyes shifted to you and a wanted poster of you. "Are you-" "Yeah, yeah can you just give me the Hex-Mix?" You tossed a few snails on the counter. The vendor quickly gave you a bag and gestured for you to leave.

You got on your palisman and prepared to leave. "There they are!" You heard a voice yell. "Here we go." You thought out loud. You started to speed off while you overheard The Golden Guard yelling at scouts behind you. You made a bunch of random twists and turns to get them off your trail but they would just not leave you alone. "Titan didn't know anyone in the Emperor's Coven was competent." You thought. Suddenly magical rope constricted you. After some struggle, you broke free. After that mini-heart attack, you went as fast as you could finally losing them. You landed on top of a mountain and sighed. The first time it was a challenge to get away. Hopefully, that was a one-time thing. But nothing could go your way when it comes to the law, could it?

The next week you saw the same Golden uniform. Right as you comprehended who it was, the figure was running towards you. The same magic rope was shot at you but you moved out of the way. "Y'know I thought it was pretty cool to be more wanted than Eda. But I somehow forgot this part of it." You stopped the rope with plants. You heard the Golden Guard groan from behind his mask. You chuckled and wrapped yourself in abomination goop, transporting yourself to your house. You looked at P/n and sighed. "I'm sorry but it seems like you're going to need to fly a lot whenever we go out." Your palisman nodded playfully. "Such as now, I still need to get griffin eggs."

You thought about putting an invisibility spell on yourself when you first entered, but you would just get rid of it in the end. So you flew to the market, fully visible. You quickly bought griffin eggs and then left. But suddenly you were wrapped in abomination goop. You tried to break free but couldn't. "There's no way to break free, so don't waste your energy, or do, I don't care." The Golden guard said. He started walking with you. "So why do you arrest wild witches." "It's against the Titan's will." You raised one of your eyebrows. "But the Titan made wild magic. Also, they didn't make sigils." The Golden Gaurd paused. "Stop trying to mess with my head." He snapped out. "Okay?"

You soon aboard a ship. he slightly shoved you onto the ground. "So what's your name?" You asked as you got up. The guard started to whistle. "Hey!" You yelled. You could tell he tensed up a little bit. "What's your name?" "You don't need to know." He stated. "I wanna know who's kidnapping me." "If I tell you will you shut up." "Probably not. But I'm not going to stop asking until you tell me." He grunted. "Fine. My name is Hunter." "Cool my names y/n." "Yeah, I know."

You walked over to Hunter and kept asking him questions. "Shut up and sit back down." You just rolled your eyes. "Okay tell me, witch, what will shut you up?" "Besides freeing me?" "Besides freeing you." You thought for a moment. "Take me out to diner." Hunter sighed, "Be serious." "I am! Can't go to jail on an empty stomach." "Fine." Hunter drifted the ship downward. He landed at a Dairy scream. "Eyescream? really?" "I didn't have to do this. And besides, there is food besides Eyescream." "Only insane people order burgers a DAIRY scream." "There's cheeseburgers." You slightly chuckled.

Hunter got out a red bird palismen. It turned into its staff from. He did... Something that definitely wasn't abomination magic. It moves the goop from around your waist to around your wrist. You made a mental note of the bird. "There. Now you can eat easier." "I'm probably just going to get an f/f milkshake though." Hunter quickly draw a plant glyph and made it wrap around your legs. "You know glyphs count as wild magic right?" "I don't have anything else to use. It's for the greater good." Hunter excused.

You hummed as you waited for Hunter. He came out with a milkshake. "Okay let's go back to the ship." He shoved the milkshake in your hand. You walked out of the vines with ease. "So why do you have a palismen? I thought Belos hated them." Hunter stiffened and stopped walking. "Yes... But he made an exception." You can tell he was lying but decided not to push it. Soon you arrived back at the ship.

Hunter looked at his watch and became panicked. "Crap, crap, crap uncle's going to kill me!" "Why?" You asked. "I was supposed to be back ten minutes ago!" "So? I've been to the castle it's only five minutes away." Hunter started up the ship. "That's fifteen minutes late! I can't keep disappointing  him." You put down your milkshake and walked over to Hunter. "It's going to be okay dude. You brought me to him didn't you?" That barely seemed to calm him down. "Breath with me." You said. You slowly breathed in and out.

Hunter calmed down and then glared at you. "Why do you care what I feel?" You paused, "I don't know, I guess because you're the nicest out of everyone who arrested me. Also, I've heard that you're only 16. You shouldn't be worried about your uncle punishing you for being 15 minutes late." He paused and he got rid of the handcuffs. "Leave." "What-" "Please just make it seem like you escaped." You nodded and got out p/n. "Ha! You could never keep me in one place for too long!" You exclaimed despite no one being able to hear. you. You winked then flew away. You might not know why Hunter let you leave, but for once, you felt like there was a bright future for you.

A/n: I accidentally copy and paste the fanfiction in the middle of the fanfiction so sorry if I fucked it up sorry.

[zuffer-weird-girl]

I just notice most of my writings I make a reader that can cook due to self insert... so now I'm doing the opposite-

Hcs that you can't cook and what would they do...

Can't cook as well so you both are screwed. The end.

Jokes apart, man really can't cook for the life of his.

He does know how to use a oven, he does know some recipes... but does he actually cook? Naim.

Is terrible even.

I don't even doubt he can burn water.

Poor bird tried so many times to make something for you or him but it's just never ends up right so he just gives up with a pouty face and goes to munch on some KFC :(

Much like you do.

So basically how the heck you guys live? Well, Keigo has a shit ton of money, so you guys can go out plenty of times or order a take out.

But alas, neither of you always want bought food because neither of you are made of money.

So Hawks being Hawks gladly will annoy ask Endeavour-san or Tokayami to for some leftovers.

Yes. Yes he asks food from a freacking teenager.

Enji truly is pissed at both of you.

If you get insecure over this he just smiles at you and assures is no big deal.

"We can always have our favorite foods delivered dove. Besides, cooking is not my talent either, so don't worry, you are great at everything you do anyway."

Man is so cute, he supports you muchhhh

But if you want to learn he will go all out to be your personal cheerleader.

Might tear up at the first dish you make him.

Screw if it's bad or not he is swallowing the whole thing down.

He won't regret it. Even if it ends up having to spend all the afternoon on the toilet.

Pls call a ambulance if he starts to throw up-

Not so screwed.

Man can do the bare minimum

Like... instant noodles and hamburger steak.

He is not much on complicated dishes, he fears he might screw up and didn't even tried once. For both disinterest and fear of messing up.

If he catches you putting yourself down due to this, he will put aside everything he was doing, grab your hand, yank you to the bedroom and assure you are great... and also you are so fucked... literally.

Yeah, do what you can with this information.

Man couldn't care less iff you are the masterchef or burn pasta, he will love you either way.

Besides, you are luck if you don't cook for him honestly.

Man is such a picky eater that if he ends up with someone that does cook he will give them headaches.

A nightmare to decide what to eat.

Despite hating fish, he will absolutely go out of his way to make a Italian pasta with tuna if you do like fish.

Aaaww <3 look at the loveable sociopath being a good boyfriend

Kurogiri.

That's it. That's the hc.

Kurogiri is your life saver. You're in good hands, man is good at making food.

HOUSE HUSBAND MATERIAL FIGHT ME

Hari doesn't care honestly.

He can cook for both of you.

Sweet dependable man ❤

Dude knows how to make a full course meal out of only 4 ingredients.

Put him on masterchef

He reassures you all day that is fine if you can't or don't want to cook since for him is not all that big of a deal.

The only thing he wants you to do, if you want to help him, is that you pass the ingredients or just crack the eggs

Cue him laughing like a hyena when you accidentally drop the eggshell on the bowl but not the actual egg.

Listen, even if you end uo ruining a recipe this dude will laugh. Not at you, but at the situation.

Because to him, is a fond memory he can look back at on his worst days to make him smile.

SOMEONE MARRY THIS MAN HE DESERVES IT-

Oh he is such a bitch about this-

Man knows how to cook some basics dishes and rarely a more sophisticated one but... he simply doesn't want to.

Is too 💫messy💫 for the pretty prince 🤴

He won't actually order or obligate you to cook for him since he is better than that I hope but do expect some sarcastic remarks that even Mimic could do an omelet.

I want to slap him for this shit-

The moment you bring up his disdain for kitchen messes and dirty dishes he will shut up pretty quickly with a scoff.

Arrogant lil sh-

So, either his subordinates make the dishes for you guys(i recommend chrono again), or he takes you out on a restaurant that he trusts.

Let's forget he is bankrupt for just a sec, pops will end up crying about the bill of the restaurant later

But there is this RARE situations where he will do something to impress you.

Man made Unagi for you. Show some respect.

And to your surprise it actually taste good!

Don't tell him though. We are sick of his God like syndrome.

And also, don't expect too much of this... as I said, is really rare that he would do something like that. He doesn't like to get his hands DIRTY

[darklordofthesimp]

The contrast between these conversations is seriously going to give me whiplash, I don't know whether I should be laughing at Ghost pulling the most devious little pranks or crying at the angst.

I'm just imagining how protective Ghost gets over Birdy whenever König is anywhere in the vicinity. I feel like the second their mandatory training with König ends, Ghost by her side glaring at König as they leave. Staring down the giant whenever he enters the same room as Birdy and warning him off. He's not letting König anywhere near them as long as he can help it.

Ghost isn't an affectionate guy, but he shows his care in other ways. I feel like he would silently keep an eye on Birdy wherever they are and look after them from a distance. Following them just so that he can keep watch and make sure they're okay.

If he wasn't prohibited from doing so, he would have torn König a new one the second he laid a finger on his sniper. This is definitely where his twisted little pranks come in to really mess with König. I wouldn't doubt that he (and some of the more spiteful/angry members of 141) makes little jabs at König whenever he can. It would slowly break König hearing the little remarks filled with so much resentment from you and the team, but he knows that he deserves it for what he's done to you.

Ghost and Birdy are the embodiment of that Lana del Rey song where it's like 🎶I've got my eye on you🎶

He's the definition of watchful protector.

Even when Birdy begins to warm to König and forgive him, which she will, Ghost will still be apprehensive. He will hate him long after the egg cracking incident is over.

I feel like realistically they'll be less like pranks and more like setting him up for failure during training simulations. Constantly teaming up to spar with him, because Ghost would body König, I strongly believe.

"How about you pick on someone your own size" Ghost offers, crossing his arms over his chest.

König drags his gaze from the shorter man's toes to his head, raising a brow unimpressed.

"There is no one my size."

Once Birdy warms to König he couldn't give a fuck about the others and their comments. All that matters is that she's sitting with him. That she's giving him pointers on his shooting. That she let's him touch her.

Birdy is all that matters.

[bisheepart]

Not So Alone AU Incorrect Quotes

AU Name Suggestion By: @bumblebeesbah

Basically the friendship AU

Evan: You guys believe me?

Gregory: Aside from Cassie, you're the last good person on this planet. I'd believe cartoon birds did your hair this morning.

-------

Cassie: I have an idea on how we can make Michael stop bullying Evan.

Gregory, holding the Fazer Blaster: Me too.

Cassie: Wh- NO! That's not an idea, Gregory!

(I do like Michael but honestly he deserves this)

-------

Gregory: Self-care is actually getting into fights with randoms in dark alleys.

Elizabeth: No, self-care is stuff like taking a bubble bath, or putting on a lot of makeup if you like it, or taking a nice warm nap!

Cassidy, gradually getting angrier: Self-care is the burning heat when rage washes over you. Self-care is when you feel the bones crack under your powerful fists. Self-care is the fear in your enemies' eyes.

Tony: Self-care is stealing someone else's birthday cake just to eat the frosting.

Cassidy: If you touch my birthday cake, I'll make you eat your hands!

-------

Evan: I think I did well on the test.

Elizabeth: I forgot we were taking a test...

Evan: Lizzie...

Elizabeth: I said the vertebrae was the back stick because I thought it was funny.

Evan: Lizzie.

-------

Cassidy: When's the last time you slept?

Evan: Uh... a few days ago, I think.

Gregory: A few- how many?!

Evan: Uh... *starts counting on fingers* I need more fingers...

Cassie: What you need is sleep!

-------

Gregory: If I had a face like yours, I'd put it on a wall and throw a brick at it.

Michael: Listen, you little brat. If I had a face like YOURS, I'd put it on a brick and throw a wall at it.

-------

Elizabeth: I like wearing oversized sweaters. Not just because they're extremely comfy, cuddly and they make me look extremely cute, but because whenever the sleeves are really big, I get to flop them around and smack people.

-------

Cassidy: In my defense, I was left unsupervised.

Evan: Wasn't Elizabeth with you?

Elizabeth: In my defense, I was also left unsupervised.

-------

Gregory: Beat three eggs?

Ellis: It means in hand-to-hand combat.

Gregory: ooooh-

Tony: Both of you need to get out of the kitchen.

-------

Gregory: I need Cassidy there. I need someone to glance at when Michael inevitably annoys me. And then she'll know to pelt him with a water balloon.

-------

Evan: Jail's no fun, I'll tell you that.

Tony: Oh, you've been?

Evan: Once, in monopoly

-------

Cassie: This is a mistake!

Elizabeth, enthusiastic: A mistake we're going to laugh at one day!

Cassie: But not today...

Elizabeth, still enthusiastic: Oh no, today's going to be a mess.

-------

Cassie: She was poetry, but he couldn't read.

Gregory: His name's Jared, age nineteen

Cassidy: When his parents build a very strange machine!

Elizabeth: Watch that scene, dig in the dancing queen!

Ellis: Aayyyy Macarena!

Tony: Horrible job, everyone.

-------

Cassie: I mean, small animals are way more vicious. It’s because their anger has way less space to be bottled up in.

Tony: That's ridiculous, give me one example of this.

Elizabeth: Spiders.

Evan: Wasps.

Ellis: Chichichaus.

Cassidy; Gregory.

Gregory: HEY!

(He's canonically the smallest in his class, and he fits in baby carriages)

-------

Evan: In your opinion, what's the height of stupidity?

Gregory, to Michael: How tall are you?

[just-a-laughingstock]

People are falling for Alastor's BS

Allow me to explain.

Pretty much a person on TikTok believed that the reason Alastor fought Adam was to prove how powerful Alastor was since he could hold his own with Adam until Lucifer arrived. And I couldn't agree less.

The series makes it clear multiple times how powerful Alastor is, so it makes no sense to hammer it in. I believe it was the opposite, that it was to prove that Alastor isn't as powerful as he claims.

My main belief is that Lucifer was not meant to be there, why? Cause Charlie literally says "Alastor was supposed to handle him" in refrence to Adam. Lucifer was never meant to be there. Charlie is literally shocked when he arrives.

So did I make this whole post to bash on a random TikToker. No. It was to confront a problem I see in the Hazbin fandom and that is that a lot of people are taking Alastor to be the most powerful being in Hell. To the point that some people think he could win against Stolas or even Asmodeus.

In my opinion Alastor fits Hazbin Hotel to a T cause he's a Hazbin. He was ONCE one of the most powerful overlords but now he is washed up.

I'm gonna cut this off for people who want to scroll, but if you want to see all of my points, just do the thing.

But if you want to skip TLDR: Alastor has a superiorty complex

My point begins in "Radio killed the Video Star".

One we have the fact that Sir Pentious, a literal joke villain who is called pathetic constantly, managed to land a hit on him. If he had a power bordering the Seven Deadly Sins, that wouldn't be possible. Stolas managed to detect an imp sneaking up on him from behind. Alastor couldn't detect Sir Pentious grab his jacket when he was right in front of him.

But than we have Valentino's talk with Vox. Noteably how he says "Are you still mad he almost beat you that one time" key word "almost". Alastor didn't beat him. If you want to believe the idea that it was cause Alastor used to be friends with Vox, go ahead, but I don't. I believe he literally couldn't. He wasn't beat by Vox, but he didn't win either.

Than we have the song "Stayed Gone" itself. A lot of people in the comments praise Alastor for "tearing Vox apart" and "not even caring" but if Alastor didn't care. He wouldn't respond.

Alastor has aan Ego not confidence. And a fragile Ego at that.

Vox bashing Alastor was enough to make him begin broadcasting and ripping Vox apart. Even implying Vox shouldn't be feared cause his power comes from his connection to Val and Velvette. But in the end when he cuts the power in Pentagram City, he still feels the need to go to his demonic form and attempt to strike fear into the hearts of the other Sinners.

If he was confident in his abilities and powers, he wouldn't feel the need to remind people that they should fear him. He would simply mind his business and remind people when they mess with him. Not mock another person for just saying "he's a coward".

Than we have the distinct fact that he mocked Vox. Not attack him, he mocked him. We see with Husk that he has 0 problem killing people, but he doesn't do it. As if he knows he can't attack Vox directly.

My next point and the shortest comes with "Scrambled Eggs" specifically when he goes to the Overlord meeting. When Carmilla points out that Alastor had been gone for 7 years, he pretty much says "Oh I know. You must be so curious as to where I was" and Carmilla shuts that down. Alastor is noticeably offended that Carmilla doesn't care at all that he was gone. As if he's offended that she isn't interested at all about the fact that he left and is now back.

But in my opinion the episode with the most proof is "Dad beat Dad" when he meets Lucifer.

When they first meet and Lucifer calls him the Bellhop. Alastor ignores the comment and talks about his radio broadcast, as if fully expecting the King of Hell itself to have heard of him. And not only does Lucifer state he had never heard of him and even calls him a hazbin.

To me it seemed like Alastor seemed to immediantly try to subtly fish for a compliment. As if saying "I'm the one who came up with the name, I'm the one who deserves the praise" in which Lucifer tells him it's not clever. A comment that noticeably upsets Alastor abd causes him to cuss for the first time in the series.

This leads into "Hell's Greatest Dad", where Alastor is noticeably trying to one up Lucifer, that's the whole point of the song. But note that he never brings up his power, pretty much just saying "Well I was here first". And he gets aggressive when Lucifer keeps portraying himself as the better pick.

Only stopping when Mimzy appears. A character that pretty much kisses Alastor's ass, and makes him out to be one of the best people ever.

When Husk confronts Alastor about Mimzy, he pretty much says "he can handle whatever trouble Mimzy brings" and when Husk states that Alastor also made a contract and has his soul owned. Something that sets off Alastor so much that he threatens Husk's life.

Than when the loan sharks arrive he says that he needs to "remind people why they should fear the Radio Demon". As if upset that him simply being there, did not deter people from arriving. That they were fine fucking with the place Alastor lives if it means getting the money Mimzy owes them.

Then he cuts off Mimzy. As if upset that she purely arrived to use him as a sheild. And while he states that he's angry that she brought danger to the hotel, I don't believe that. Since he literally offers her a place to stay when she was described as pretty much being a trouble magnet. So it's weird to assume that he doesn't want her just dropping by but has no issue with her living there. I believe this was him attempting to have her show that she genuinely respects him and doesn't just view his reputation has a shield to get her out of trouble.

Pretty much, I believe that Alastor was poweful. That he was among the most powerful overlords, but now he's washed up, a hazbin. And he doesn't like that. He has a complex after all. He needs people to fear him, he needs people to view him as poweful.

That's why he breaks down after Adam beats him. He was just "killed" on live television. Live television just saw him "run with his tail between his legs" as the Vees put it. That's why he seems to be breaking down as he reads off a hypothetical headline calling him an "altruist" a person willing to die for his friends. As if upset at the thought that if he had died, people would stop fearing him. Cause he'd be seen as someone who died for the hotel, who died for his loved ones, who died for his friends. It breaks him.

I believe Season 2 will confront that fact. That all of the Pride Ring saw Alastor run from a fight. Something not even the "pathetic" Sir Pentious did. Not even Sir Pentious ran from the fight, but the "mighty" Radio Demon did. I believe the next season will have Alastor being taken down a notch.

Anyway there's my rant. Sorry if it's scattered, I tried to make it as straight forward as possible.

[doritoscene]

Controversial and long opinion:

I don't think q!Mariana would love CodeFlippa.

I know the reasons people would say that, yes, Mariana misses Flippa just like Slime, Flippa is the reason that she's not anymore around the island, the depression of losing his daughter is literally the reason why he in character he's depressed in her house, and of course Mariana would love have her family back.

But Mariana wants his real daughter.

Mari have always hated the idea of taking care of other eggs that aren't Flippa, he kinda liked other care in some way but he couldn't care less if they die or live at least that didn't affect him like Juana did, you can watch it on some of his videos where he laughed at Dapper almost dying or losing one of his life's. Also Bobby was one of the eggs he liked but she liked more messing with him, and of course we got the scene where he kinda try cheer up tilín in the trial cuz Quackity was being a neglecte father.

And the most obvious reason: Gegg

Gegg is the moment when we get Mariana's rejecting the idea of taking care other egg. Of course we see her taking (kinda) care of gegg for a minutes but he didn't liked anyway.

And the reason I mention the thing of real daughter is cuz Mariana even she misclicked Juana, he know her better.

Mariana wasn't the best mother/father, we all know that. But people like give him this character that... people act like Mariana was always neglect full with Juana and is always the bitch in the relationship when isn't always like that.

(I have this idea thanks to fanfics and opinions I have seen here + twitter and this this happen cuz people watch more Slime Vod than Mariana's cuz I Mariana is my main in qsmp and let me tell u people Slime act neglect in Mariana's Pov)

I don't why people do this but I think people act like Slime is better father when both of them are pretty lame at least in some situations. But you can tell that Slime love CodeFlippa because he couldn't live those happy moments with his daughter thanks to her early death.

Mariana isn't like that, she knew and live more things with Juana like: She like to sing, what was her favorite's artists, how she act, one of Juana favorite colors, Mariana knows that Juana is Colombiana, and other things.

So the idea of Mariana loving code flippa doesn't make sense to me at least in character, but who knows

[drsugarsweet]

You Won't See Me

Fae!Rubber Soul x Reader

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Synopsis: Life seems to be perfect once you've moved to the cottage of your dreams; the peace and quiet is lovely, the sounds of birdsong greet you every morning, and the Old Woods prove to be bountiful with wild foods. There's just one problem. You haven't gone unnoticed.

TW: Fae typical mind games, mild derealization Note: reader is GN, no pronouns aside from 'you' are used.

Masterlist ☆。*。☆。

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

AN: Me, taking the chance to wax poetic about my favorite background character? More likely than you think. It was hard to decide on who specifically fit the Fair Folk since a lot of characters work, but c'mon, pretty boy that messes with people? I couldn't resist.

The taste of wild honeysuckle is strong on your tongue as you stride purposefully along the forest path.

The day is glorious. Sunlight warms your skin and peers through gaps in the leaves in a beautiful mosaic of emeralds and jades, whispering pines and ancient oaks. The Old Forest is not where you belong, but it feels like your home. The cottage that lies on the edge of the treeline is your destination nonetheless. Leaves swirl about the dirt trail you’ve treaded many times before and the forest feels alive with birdsong and insect calls.

Heavy upon your arm is a wicker basket loaded with foraged goods. It’s a pastime you’ve taken up ever since you moved to the abandoned cottage. It took some time and many, many books to grow more comfortable with the edible bounty of the forest, but it's been beyond worth it for the sheer variety you can find. The elderberries and chamomile will be used for tea, while the dandelions can make a fine jam. The lamb’s ear, sorrel and garlic tied into bundles will be a perfect addition to your meals for the evening amidst eggs from your chickens and whatever else you can throw in. Finally, nestled in the middle of the basket is your greatest prize: a crop of wild strawberries, rubies of red in their crowns of leaves, the likes of which you’ve not seen in months. Your mouth waters at the thought of the pie they’ll make and your step quickens along the mossy trail.

It’s easy to get lost in your thoughts of delicious meals. It’s easy to almost miss the way the path splits into two branches, one that you’ve traveled many a time and one that wasn’t here when you entered the forest in the morning. What you don’t miss is the ring of mushrooms conspicuously hidden amongst the leaves and weeds dead set in the middle of the path you need to take.

Oh, no way you’re falling for that. You know enough about the beings of this forest to know their tricks. The amount of research you did on the area before moving out here has offered plenty of knowledge, and you know that this ring is a sure sign of the Fair Folk. No way you’re falling for it. There’s one problem however; the ring is large enough to occupy the whole path, and the newer one is all that is left. You trust it as much as a fly trusts a spider, but it seems marginally safer. You take a deep breath and move towards the path less traveled.

At first glance, it isn’t too unusual. The leaves shelter more of the ground and the dappling of the light grows dimmer, but it isn’t dark enough that you would miss any more obvious rings. From this distance you can see that the path seemingly merges back into your original route. It should be fine as long as you’re careful, right? The moss grows thicker along the path and dainty ferns brush your ankles from the sides, the birdsong growing more chaotic the further you go. It sets every inch of you on edge but you do your best to hide any expression of nervousness for fear of prying eyes catching on.

Speaking of prying eyes… You’re being watched.

It isn’t the normal sensation of all-encompassing eyes that come from being in the lively forest. The feeling on the back of your neck is heavy and sharp. The eyes are hungry , and yet you’ve never encountered a wolf or mountain lion or any other predator of the sort out here. There’s a fear settling into your gut that you know exactly what is watching you.

Your suspicions of being followed are proven correct, not by the snap of a twig or the thud of footsteps on earth, but by a laugh. The sound is ethereal - no man laughs with such a musical voice, flowing over and around you like the heady breeze of a summer evening. You’re aware of the presence getting ever closer to your side when you catch a glimpse of someone, some thing from the corner of your eye. Whatever it is, it’s humanoid. It’s larger than you too. If you’re right in suspecting that it’s one of the Fair Folk, then you know better than to look directly. You focus instead on your steps, one foot in front of the other as you hope the end of the path comes soon.

The presence doesn’t give you much of a chance to ignore it. As the being moves to walk next to you, matching each step with ease, you realize you’ve been holding your breath. The scent of sap and exotic fruits and sickly sweet decay teases your senses.

“Now, what’s a sweet thing like you doing out here alone? These woods are dangerous, y'know.” The being is the first to speak. There’s a smugness to the tone that makes you think of a sleazy salesman, smooth and oily and dangerous . The image would almost make you laugh if you weren’t petrified deep down. Still, it would be rude to ignore a member of the fae, and you really want to leave these woods untouched.

“I’m aware of the dangers, I was simply gathering food for my meal. I might ask the same of you, if you’re so inclined?” Not once have those eyes left your form. You want to look - some terrible, hungering curiosity has gripped you - but you wouldn’t dare.

The stranger hums, in agreement or amusement you can’t tell. They seem to be distracted as that feeling of being watched lifts for a moment. You take the chance to peer over hurriedly, your curiosity getting the best of you. Maybe part of you hopes that you’ll see a simple traveler like yourself - a mysterious lumberjack or hiker that you missed earlier. One quick lookover disproves that. You see a being more beautiful than any human you've ever known and ice floods your veins despite the balmy heat the stranger radiates. 

Whoever they are, this not-person is gorgeous . Alabaster skin and amber eyes practically glow under the midafternoon sun; in contrast, you see a wild mane of ebony hair that reminds you more of a crow’s feathers, and upon closer look there are feathers scattered throughout their hair. There’s more muscle-bound body exposed to your flustered gaze than you think you’ve ever seen in polite company and really, it’s a miracle you manage to pull your eyes away from ample cleavage and rippling abs at all. They’re terrifyingly alluring and your eyes practically strain from looking at them too long already. If they notice, they don’t comment as their silver tongue drips more honeyed words.

“I live… Close by. I hardly fear these woods. Still, won’t you let me walk you home? I’m sure I can keep your company!” 

You swear you see a flash of fang and iridescent skin before it’s gone in a flash. The being is leaning towards you now and the smell of rotting fruit grows stronger. You don’t want this thing to know where you live. At the same time, you fear that saying no will just result in the forest becoming a magical labyrinth until you agree. With a sigh, you figure it’s the only thing you really can do.

“Alright, you may accompany me to the edge of the forest. After that, we’ll have to part ways.” The being grins widely and straightens up and you can swear that you heard them trill like an insect at your acquiescence. Just what have you gotten yourself into? By this point, the split path converges again and you’re on slightly more familiar turf. It isn’t your garden or your home however and you know you aren’t safe yet.

For a minute, you think, you hope that the fae will lose interest in you if you stay silent. That would be far too lucky for your day as the being once again calls for your attention in that voice of wind chimes.

"That is simply perfect. And may I have your name? I'd love to know a pretty little thing like you all the better!" They grin at you all too sharply and for a moment you know how a mouse must feel under the gaze of a barn cat. It's a trick that you're prepared for.

"You may call me Hare."

Their sharp smile falls a fraction. You worry that you're about to be turned into a toad or cursed with eternal bad luck, but their step picks up just as easily as though nothing happened. Every hair on your body is on end. This man - you at least deign to assume they're masculine in nature - is no human, that much you know for sure. He’s of the Fair Folk and every warning you’ve been told comes rushing back at once.

First and foremost, names have power. You aren’t about to relinquish that power so easily. The being’s breath is as warm and humid as drying saltwater on the back of your neck and it’s all you can do to suppress a shudder. Next you know never to step within the rings that mark the entrance to the Other Side, and you’ve accomplished that. What are the others? The presence that grows overwhelming with each step by your side has your mind blurring with panic. If the being notices, he doesn’t make a remark, but those chartreuse eyes as sharp as a raven’s speak volumes. 

“Now, now, we both know that isn’t your name. Come on, you don’t want to be strangers with your neighbor, right? I’ll even tell you that you may call me Soul!” His voice drips with sickly sugar, like spoiled honey. You don’t like the way his teeth click with each word as though they’re just a hint too large. You certainly don’t like the way he manages to tower over you and block out the sunlight that much more. The Fair Folk are tricky with their words and you have to make sure you are careful.

“I simply prefer to be called Hare. I’ll remember how to address you as well.” 

Your words are curt but you do your best to hide any tone that could come across as impolite. It wouldn’t do to insult his sensibilities. You can tell that he is displeased if the way his shoulders drop from the corner of your eye is anything to go by, but you make no move to comfort him. For a minute of walking, the two of you are silent (eerily so in his case, not a huff of breath or breaking of a leaf underfoot to betray his presence). Even the animals of the forest have hushed in their calls and cries to a level more akin to a muttering audience. It’s impossible for you to fall into a similar lull as the being inches ever closer as you approach the treeline.

The first spark of hope that you feel since seeing the fairy ring comes when the path thins into mossy cobblestones and crumbling wooden fences. A smile tinges your features before you can stop it and the being next to you notices. His aura feels… Not quite hostile, but more impatient, the same impatience of a cat losing its favorite bird beyond a window. Even your quickening step isn’t enough to shake that unerring pace. The roof of your cottage just starts to crest the horizon when he cuts you off by stepping in front of you.

Your eyes avert and the strange hissing of a cicada rumbles from his lips.

“Why the rush to leave, little Hare? Surely I can tempt you to stay a while longer? Or won’t you invite me to your meal?” He leans closer, closer with each proposal until you’re sure you feel teeth at your hairline. You’re too terrified to look up. You have to choose your words oh so carefully but your mind is torn in a haze of fear, intrigue and decaying flowers.

“I always eat alone, I’m afraid I don’t have room for guests. It’s getting late and I must get home. Tha - “ Your breath hitches in your throat and your eyes flicker upwards as you barely catch your mistake in time. For a moment, you swear you see hope in the amber eyes gleaming so wickedly down at you. When you swallow with a dry mouth, you assure you word yourself better. “I hope you return to your home safely, Soul.”

The hope in the being - in ‘Soul’s eyes - flickers into something dangerous and hungry and that familiar feeling of fear boils in your gut. You take one sidestep, then another, and Soul doesn’t stop you. Even as you pass by their shoulder and towards your cottage, the feeling of hungry eyes on you doesn't leave. You worry it never will. Despite your fear however, you can’t resist the insatiable urge to glance back once more and ensure you aren’t being followed.

That one glance reveals that Soul is watching you too, a thoughtful look on his face that you can’t discern melting into a keen grin. Just before you can leave earshot, you swear you see his whole form flicker like heat waves emanating from hot pavement and he calls out to you.

“I’ll see you again, right Hare? We wouldn’t want you getting hurt out there after all.”

The chill in your bones as you hurry into your cottage isn’t washed out by tea or a warm meal for days to come.

[androgynousblackbox]

The Horror of our Love. 3 [Radioapple, Appleradio]

Rosie

"Well, that was a lot. Probably a lot more than I ever wanted to know about, but it did answer a few questions at least.

The thing that killed everyone at the castle was this Lucifer monster. Professor Magne found a way to make it so they could leave the school, but before that felt like having a little massacre because why the hell not. I guess he just felt bored or wanted to commemorate the occasion. With that guy, it could have been either.

I always suspected that he was one fucked up man. Any wizard who is so dedicated to teaching Defense Against Dark Arts is not well in the head, I don't care what anyone says. Always way too comfortable telling us about the absolute worst that could happen if we weren't careful enough, if we didn't listen to him, with as much details as he could cram in. As if he was just waiting for the chance for us to fail only so he could laugh about it. Everyone always told me I was just paranoid because I didn't like the class, that I was too harsh for no reason, that Professor Magne had never harmed a fly. When he got that little naga he always kept in a cage next to his desk, people would even say that it was cute because he obviously took good care of that thing. Never believed that act, not for one second.

And yet, somehow, I never saw this one coming. The murdering people already while he was a student did take me by surprise, but not as much as the obsession with a cursed wizard whose only purpose was to kill people from the girl's bathroom. How does that even happen? We never heard about anything like it while we were there. You would think something like would trickle down, even if it's just a legend, but there was nothing like it.

Anyway, that is not important. First things first, we had to corroborate each of those deaths.

A janitor had disappeared around the same time when Professor Magne was in the year the journal told us about. One day he just wasn't there anymore. The theory back then is that he got drunk and drowned in the lake, where the sirens devoured his body. Apparently he just never liked the merfolk so he was happy to yell insults at them and... pee on the lake. I guess because they couldn't get out the water that made him feel strong or something. Fuck if I know. They only found one of his feet floating on the water. There were clear teeth marks on them so, case was closed. It's not like everyone was going to lose sleep wondering what happened to the guy. Definitely not family or friends that could demand a more thorough investigation. One less lone bastard in the world is hardly worth more than one article in a newspaper.

The professor that mishandled the creatures under his care was only slightly different. Official story is that he disappeared on an excursion to try to get some eggs of some creature whose name I can't even pronounce. He left a note behind and everything. That makes no sense, doesn't it? If that guy brought him down promising something else, at what moment did he write that note? One that conveniently was giving him an alibi? Unless someone could forge his same lettering and make that up to cover his absence, that is. No body was ever found. Nobody cried too much for him in the newspapers, his search wasn't a huge priority. Headmaster Sera had some words of comfort about how dedicated that asshole was to his job and that was it. She couldn't pretend to care more than that. Not that I blame her either. Fuck that guy, he sounded like a piece of work. Case closed.

The journal confirmed for us both their names. He didn't thought they were relevant for his story because, and I quote, "takes away some of the mystery away" with a fucking smiley face in the end. As if we need the fucking help of the messed up soul of a teenager for that one.

Speaking of the journal, Anthony is back to messing with it. He... he keeps asking the same kind of fucking questions and never getting satisfied with the response. At first the journal was more or less direct, but I think it caught on what Anthony wanted and just goes in completely different tangents that are irrelevant to the question. I guess it recognizes our ways of writing by now. With me is still pretty straight forward, but Anthony is only messing around. He could be inquiring about what was Professor Magne's favorite part at school and the thing is going to wax poetic about how gorgeous the scales of Luci were under the fire, to keep edging him on.

No, I am not going to repeat what Anthony wants to know. I don't know why he wants to know that of all things and, in my opinion, I can go happily to my grave without ever having that cleared for me. I am already aware that this guy is a violent murderer and a total nutjob, that he is a danger for anyone who stays around him for long. I don't need to add anything else to the list, especially not something as gross as if he fucked the snake or not.

I would rather Avada Kedavra myself before hearing a single thing about the sex life of this man. Did you hear that, Anthony? Pout all you want, this is too much even for you, and I am not helping you with that bullshit. How is that supposed to help us here?

He is grabbing the journal again. Literally why. Don't blame me when that thing keeps fucking with you.

Anyway, where was I?

Yes, speaking about what we learned because of that long ass story he told us. Finding out the name of that little girl he had was a piece of cake.

Rosie, or Rosetta, Clara Barkin. The professor we had for Care of Magical Creatures. Anthony says that she was always cool to talk to. The girls and some of the boys especially adored her because she sometimes invited students to tea parties in her cabin near the school. Giving them advice for their little dramas and romantic endeavors. Apparently nobody had a single bad thing to say about her while she was there. I don't know what to tell you, so take his word for it. I only ever dated two people while I was a student, one of them is still here with me, and did it completely on my own, so I guess I never really needed those off school meetings from her. I only saw her during our classes. She was good at explaining things, I suppose? That is the most I could tell you about my experience with her. I had way shittier professors I could talk more about.

Although... If she knew all this was what was happening underneath the school or helped that piece of shit in any way, I might be inclined to think otherwise. She definitely knew about the giant snake. She knew about the murder of that professor, even encouraged it. The only saving grace she has is that she never actually did a killing herself. That we know of, for now. We are talking about 20 years of difference since that journal was created until now. A woman that is that gleeful about feeding the fingers of a dead man to her cat could do a lot of things in that time, and I can't imagine that all of them are going to be good.

Anthony told me that she was always kinda creepy, so he is not exactly surprised either. Creepy but nice is what he said.

She was close to Professor Magne, that I remember clearly. Always sitting next to each other on the table for every meal, always gossiping between each other as they laughed. No doubt talking shit about everyone else. She was the only professor I ever saw him giving a hug to as well as receiving it without glaring at them. The one I know of was not only allowed to enter his office whenever she wanted, whether he was there or not, but also to hold the baby naga he had outside of her cage. One time the school nurse asked him to and professor Magne just flat out said no before telling the man to go. Smiling as usual on that freaky I am done with you way that he had every time his patience was running thin. The fact that professor Barking and him knew each other since they were children is the least surprising fun fact to come out of this.

She wasn't there the night of the massacre. She had quit her job right after the final day of class to go live on a reservation meant for the care of dragons. As far anyone at school knew, she was comfortably living in South America with her wife. Then, just three years back, she and her wife both died from exposure to venom that wasn't treated fast enough. That is what the newspaper's obituary said. I think I had to use a translator. I barely know a few Italian words because of Anthony and I am pretty sure most of them are insults.

Naturally, our next task was to see if she had actually died. Considering what we found out last time, I believe my doubt was more than warranted. She was a respected member of the community of dragon handlers in the area, so it didn't take much for us to find her and her wife's grave. One plaque, two different names. We were digging out two for the price of one this time. Great.

Luckily for us, they were on the burial site of professor Barkin's muggle side of the family. There were no special protections to go through. Setting up an illusion spell in order for the guard to not notice a thing was a piece of cake. The only piece of cake we were allowed to have. You try to take out two heavy caskets from the same hole in the middle of the night. Even with magic, that was such a pain in the ass.

But it was worth it. You know why? Because there was fucking nothing inside of any of them. Just rocks. They didn't even bother putting on a fake body. No poor schmuck died for this. So, wherever professor Barkin and her wife are, I am running with the theory right now that they are with him or working with him. Doing who knows what.

I tried to investigate if there has been an uptake on mysterious deaths ever since professor Barkin was there, but I couldn't find shit. One handler that was accused of selling dragon eggs to the black market was found dead on his bed. He worked in the same location as her. They believe a heart attack during sleep. That was it. Unless her main victims were muggles, in which case I am even more limited than before. For muggles she was just the owner of a butcher shop that people liked. There is not a single mention of her from that side beyond that. A business woman who wasn't around a lot, but when she was nobody had a fucking bad thing to say about her. Of course.

We returned everything to how it was and came back home. I don't rule out either that professor Barkin wasn't there the night of the massacre, we just didn't know about it. I didn't want to believe that woman could be just as fucked up as Magne, but something is fishy, no doubt about it.

Speaking of Magne... would you be surprised to know that wasn't his original last name? When I saw the name scratched out in the journal, I immediately thought that was the maiden name of his mom. His father sounded like a piece of shit for the looks of it. Mine wasn't a ray of sunshine either, so I can't say I don't understand the impulse of putting as much distance as you can to not be associated with them.

Thank goodness I actually went to check it out. Just to have all the facts straight, you know? Didn't expect much from it. That is how I found out that her mom's maiden name was Moraine. So where the fuck does Magne come from, right? It could have been just a better sounding name than Abbadon that he chose as a kid and stuck with the rest of his life. But it wasn't.

You see, that was the last thing we had to look into because I knew it was going to involve a lot of fucking reading. When you go so far back on any family tree, you have to ask permission from libraries and documents and ask questions and bla bla bla. Digging graves is not nice, but it's something that you can just do and be done with it. To start researching this kind of stuff I have to sit down and I just feel like doing homework again.

The fact that the snake told the professor that they were distant relatives immediately picked my interest. It took a little bit of work, but I finally found the connection. There was a Magne family tree line connected to the Abbadons. One that included a single lone branch with the name Lucifer. The seven kids on his same line were there with their own portraits, but he had been burned away, eliminated, as if every document was cursed to never contain his image. They probably were. Old families would have stupid bullshit like that whenever one of their members sneezed the wrong way. My dad told me that his great great grandpa was treated the same for knocking up some muggle girl and marrying her.

Unfortunately, the bad part about your family trying so hard to forget you exist is that they make it hard for outsiders to know why it happened. The thing with my great great grandpa was kept all under wraps, a family secret that would have been a scandal back then. Everyone else was told that he was studying abroad until they stopped talking about him altogether.

I found out that the Magnes used to live in a rural area close to a muggle's town and then they didn't because the muggles kicked them out. Not a single mention about Lucifer being the responsible for it or any mention about him at all. Literally just a name under a burn out image, while the rest of his brothers kept reproducing and continuing the family line. Sending their own children to become the little tyrants of their own uncle as a treat while they were at school. I am not even sure if they knew that. According to the journal, it took a considerable amount of time for the snake to ever say any of that to professor Magne. Maybe he was too ashamed of his punishment to say anything. Or he might have even tried to and they just didn't care, not as long he did what was told. I don't know which one is worse.

All of that is legitimately so fucked up. Don't get me wrong, fuck professor Magne all the way for thinking he can just hurt people because he wants to, but if that snake was truly Lucifer Magne and he had a wife and a kid on the way and his own family treated him like that... Well, I am not made of stone either. What can I say, I feel bad for the guy. It's one thing to choose to be a monster. Another one is when you are forced into it. Professor Magne always had an option, but Lucifer did not from everything I can see. Even now. If he is still with professor Magne, and that assumes he didn't just eat the guy already, then he is still just being controlled the same way in a different way.

If you spend that much time alone and abandoned by everyone you know, you learn to take whatever you can take even if you don't really want it. Including annoying kids with a fucking obssession over you. That is something, right? At least you are not forgotten anymore. I don't know how much blame to put on Lucifer here, as a person, I mean. The journal is adamant in saying that its creation was for him, to help Lucifer, but, and maybe this is my own reading, I don't really get the sense that Lucifer would have chosen a tiny psychopath as his savior if he could.

But at this point I might be just imagining things. We are talking about multiple generations back, many fucking years in the past. The man that legitimately only wanted to help people with his magic could have died a long time ago. Leaving behind only a beast that is tied down by a member of the same family that cursed him, doing his betting, still being used. Not the kind of ending I would wish for a lot of people. It's just sad to think about. I would have rather died than keep living that humiliation, if there was anything mine left inside.

That kid in the journal can talk about love all day and night. I think he just saw what he wanted to see, a killing machine that he could control to his every whim. With some weird kink in the middle that I am not going to get into because fuck that shit. A man like that I don't think knows shit what love is. He might like someone, but that is about it.

If he really wanted to help Lucifer, he could have told the faculty staff. He could have gathered other wizards to find some way to break the curse, instead of just keeping him as a secret. So many things could have gone differently here without ever needing to kill anyone.

As a little kid I get it, you don't think about those things. It's just fun to have something for yourself. Having a place that nobody else knows and a buddy that only gets to play with you. It makes you feel special. But then he became an adult, our professor, and still chose to keep him in the dark. Why? Because if he actually went to get help for Lucifer, real help, that would mean more eyes on him that wouldn't take so kindly to all the blood and eating dead bodies freshly killed. On top of giving the poor guy an option to actually leave and have a life of his own. That would cut professor Magne's fun. And we wouldn't want that, don't we? You need to eliminate the bodies you take some way, after all.

The more I learn about the guy, the less I like it.

In any case, it's too late to worry about that now. Maybe the snake already killed him. Maybe he killed the snake. Maybe they have some fucked up stockholm kind of dynamic where Lucifer doesn't have anything else, so might as well take this. Either way, not my problem for now.

What is my problem is the info that one of my sources passed to me. I received the letter a week ago while me and Anthony were away, looking into the family stuff. There is a lead that could take us somewhere.

You see, I don't believe that the journal was the only time that professor Magne did something like that. Divide his soul to put it somewhere else. If it was he would haven't have let it go so easily, right? A guy like that wouldn't commit such an obvious mistake, unless he had others to concern himself with. That way, someone can destroy the journal and it won't matter much for him.

I don't know how many others there are. Literally none of the research I have been doing tells me to what limit there could be on a soul to do something like that. Nobody ever needed to answer that particular question before, I imagine. But it's not an infinite resource either, so he must have just stopped doing it at some point. We could be talking about 10, 20 or even just 5. The journal just said that he was still thinking it over when he made the first one. As if killing and slowly cutting away one's humanity was just some experiment to carry on to see what happens. The more pieces we manage to collect, the closer we are to knowing what happened to him.

I had some people looking around in places where we could find another one. Old antique shops, second hand stores, cursed items, enchanted ones. It could be anything at all, but we know at least that is an object and, if we are lucky, he won't be paying any more attention to it than it did with the notebook. We have that as an advantage.

A few days ago there were reports of an old radio that was donated to some old ladie's store. The radio itself looked to be in pretty conditions for what it was, although heavier than other radios. It doesn't have a cable to connect to anything nor batteries inside, but the old lady thinks the thing is haunted because at night, just when she is about to close the store, she swears over her life that the radio turns on. Sometimes it is just a nice melody, other times it's something whistling the melody, but on some rare occasions there is a voice speaking.

The voice of a man that speaks longingly about someone called Luci.

All that is fine and good, if it weren't for the little detail that this woman was just a muggle lady that was getting scared out of her mind. She called an exorcist, for fuck's sake. Made quite a bit of noise in her neighborhood talking about the weird haunted radio that she was donated to like it was any other, without any previous warning of what it was. That is how my own sources came to hear about it. The Luci portion was something they could gather only after speaking with the priest that tried to clean the old radio. Apparently they dumped a bunch of holy water on top and the radio just laughed at them. Laughed for 5 entire minutes. They counted them.

Even if the name hasn't come out, I feel like that alone would have been a certain give away. He would find it very funny to be the cause of muggle's superstitious fears. I will go look for the thing and then we can see what it can tell us."

[celibibratty]

This movie is funny cuz at the first time that you watched you get angry/makes you feel betrayed, me and marina first watched on 2017, and i remember that we got soooo mad(i mean it, was very very mad, it's rare ocassions that I/we got this mad)💢🔥(and to make worse mom out nowhere appears and was trying sugartalk the situation of the movie, trying to justify to us, LET US BE MAD ABOUT IT, geez), but watching again 7 years later(yeah, since then we never rewatched It)i/we didn't get mad at all, it was funny, but marina saw some people reviews, and she said that people seem to also got mad too(at least we from the past weren't the only ones😒), cuz okay the dude loved the other girl😒(i personally found hilarous how much those two take a childhood relationship so serious, japanese people and their logics), it's seems as if is a common thing of this movie, you will feel betrayed/angry(i don't care cuz it's right!, the bald dude it's better)

We were exactly like this girl, i felt i couldn't talk, my tummy used to hurt so so much(so much that at that time we used to take a stomach ache med everyday before going to School...and nowadays i don't take it anymore), my voice used to gets trembling when i talked in social situations, people referred to us as "mute" cuz i/we said any word, the scene when the girl talks for the first time in class and the whole class get impressed(saying things like "is that (...) Voice?is the first time i see her talking", "i thought she didn't know how to talk", ugh, it was exactly like this, i hate it💦, are innocent reactions/comments, but it feels so humilating

The way the mother treats the girl, ugh, it hits me/us too, is this thing of passively saying that "you're weird and stop with that"(the person can't control It, it's a process, i hate it, you get traumatized by people and then people expect you to act normal towards others as if it was nothing, it's inside of us, it's difficult), i find insteresting of our case is that we used to care so less to our parents saying this/they orders, that they even stop it saying it/trying("look at people eyes", "talk normal", never tried to do any of their orders), the part of the car, the mother thanking the school as if the girl didn't was capable of find/keep connections because she worked hard to socialize, cuz "she is weird, nobody would want to stick with/be friends with her, she is not capable of find friends", it's only School and the others to be praised, not the girl cuz in the mother's vision the girl has no courage, has something about this scene that it was so...urgh...

There's something so interesting and messed up about the fact that the girl believed that what would cure her "curse" would be love, but what really made her"curse" break was having her heart-broken/get into a very stressful situation, it was her limit, she had a big attack, that caused the egg to break/explode(the egg to me is her heart, it breaked a little in previous scenes, she was getting comfortable, as if was her heart opening up little by little, but in this moment, it breaks of hurt, it's rush It, and what has inside is not a empty/clean "egg", it's spills blood as if was opened bruttaly)i wish i could explain better💦

I still wonder what supposed to be the scrambled eggs? I think its mixed emotions, numbness, forget everything, mess everything up

This...scene...hurts 💧

this is more mine interpretation, cuz idk if this is the message that the movie wants to deliver🙄, but i find funny that the girl always likes to point that hurt words are bad and that you shouldn't say them cuz they hurt other people and you can't take it them back(which it's true), but was only when she said the hurt words that she got the strengh to go to the play, showing that express those words are also important(i wish the girl roasted her mother and her father💢, those two deserved those words indeed, but her mother and her father are literally the reason for her feeling/became like this💢, she deserved to express her anger towards them(even if her mom works hard to give her a good life)

I find interesting cuz this movie handles this trauma effect kinda well😒(i don't like those talk, but the movie is kinda about that so), cuz i think in the end the girl has no problem with talking!, I think her tummy doesn't hurt anymore!, i think she won't talk in texts anymore cuz now after that(the egg broke)she has no problem with talking anymore!, but even with that she will not be talktive/be like her kid self, she will never be the same again, it's not like in a "fairy-tale" everything super works out/end beautifully(even interesting and sad to say that cuz the girl was obsessed with fairy-tales), I find interesting that in the end we don't see the girl interacting with the boy and the other girl, personally i think after that she won't be friends with them anymore, it was gonna be just a memory of a cool thing that all of them made it together, but will stay in there, I think they'll be collegues,(but not as close as before), her relationship with her mother, i don't think will get super good/better after that, still gonna be distant, the thing that the mother now realises how much her actions affected her daughter and maybe she can try to be more pacient, but still nothing that shows in the end, in the end the curse broke, but the consequences of it still exist(pretty much like in a superation of a traumatic situation, you got over it now, but the way they affected you molded you, you can't be the same again, i mean you can be, but tbh I believe you will never be 100% like you used to be, but if is the case, it's a process)