#i need to figure out how to get back on track with my meds but im scared to talk to him abt it bc i Just started seeing him

[bi-buck-coded]

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[dragons-and-yellow-roses]

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[sunkeji]

Hello!! If it alright can i request a tsukishima(+anyone else separately) x reader where the boys get a wisdom tooth removed so they're loopy and high from the meds and the reader has to take care of them?

a/n: I'm so sorry that I didn't get to your req sooner. If you're still alive and following my blog, I hope you have the heart to forgive me 🙏 also I'm trying a new format tee hee.

Tsukishima

My guy is dazed. I'm talking about his eyes looking hazy, and he's just staring at you. He's literally just staring at you with this sort of confused and serious face, like he's trying to figure something out.

He's got cotton balls stuffed in his mouth to apply the needed pressure, which makes his cheeks look a little puffy. His face right now is contrasting with his usual stoic expression.

Of course, you're going to have to take pictures to show him later to use as material for your teasing and because he looks absolutely cute.

Now he's still high and kind of loopy from the medicine that they gave him so I'm sure he's still feeling sleepy. So you opt to take a cab back to his home, and during this time, he's gotten a bit touchy. He's leaning against your shoulder while slumping in his seat as he fiddles with your fingers.

Fast forward to when you're in his room together. You helped settle him down in his bed after helping him change into a set of comfortable clothes. And of course, he treated you like some sort of pervert for wanting to stay while he changed. You just rolled your eyes and faced your back toward him.

You wanted to make him a smoothie to help with the soreness, or at least some soft foods that'd be easy for him to consume. But before you could do so, he had gently grabbed your hand and led you to his bed.

He was acting shy now, asking you to join him in bed. He obviously wanted to cuddle since he got out of the procedure and was just thinking of ways he could ask you to cuddle with him without actually asking.

Give your tsundere boyfriend some love, he becomes clingy and less emotionally constipated when he's feeling sleepy and high after all.

Bokuto

Just like Tsukishima, except he becomes 10 times clingier and acts like an overgrown baby.

As soon as he's out of the dentist, he's drooping himself all over you. It's like he's leaning almost all of his body weight against you, and mind you, he is no small guy. So it's not unexpected when you get some stares after leaving the dentist.

So it becomes a race against time to get him home before he collapses from the drowsiness or before he starts getting rowdy.

When it comes to him, forethought is necessary. Like booking a ride in advance to ensure your arrival back home wouldn't exceed 15 minutes because, as sad as it is to say it, you don't think your boyfriend can behave for more than that.

And you reach home just in time because, as soon as you step out of the cab, he's sulking about something. You're not sure what it's about this time, but you attempt to get him into the lift first.

You're so close to getting him into his house when he stops dead in his tracks and starts accusing you of not loving him. You don't know how he ever got to that conclusion. You make a sarcastic remark that breaks the dam, and he starts wailing.

You're panicking now, trying to get him into the house before any neighbors start to come out and investigate the source of the noise.

So in a last-ditch effort, you shove him the littlest bit into the house and shut the door. You turn around only to see him on the floor, sobbing and acting as if he's in a soap opera.

You sigh and just go into his bedroom to prepare the bed for him and clothes for him to change into. When you're done, you call him by his favorite pet name and promise him you'll cuddle with him until he's sober.

He perks up at the use of the pet name and scrambles to get into his room to change, and once he's done changing, he grabs you and tackles you into his bed until you're both snug under the covers.

Now he's bombarding you with questions about questions with obvious answers, like whether or not you love him, as he's nuzzling his head into you.

[heard-nsfw-is-back]

When the 141 + König try to get your attention.

They'll have extra bandaids, hair scrunchies, socks, and ammo for your favorite guns. Anything you could possibly need as an emergency that you might not get easily. They carry around hygiene products for you too if you need. "Dammit I need." Bam immediately in your hand. "Oh I should have taken extra." Don't worry about it they gave enough for a month. Have an illness or need medication they have the supplies you need on hand always. You're tired and can't sleep because you have watch? Oops your shift has been covered, go get some rest.

Ghost:

You've noticed it eventually. He's always got whatever you need and soon it becomes so regular that you're just subconsciously turning to him when you need something. He's always got it too. Without fail. It's not till Price, smug as fly shit, tells you Ghost is covering your night shift that you make the decision to confront him. In the military a man doing you favors could mean anything positive or negative but it could definitely be used against you. You find him and sidled up next to his side. "What are you doing?" You ask eventually. He grunts, pretending to be confused. "You're always doing me favors on the field and now you're taking my watch. What do you want?" He looks down at you. "Don't want anything." His sentence feels incomplete and you just glare up at him. A sigh and then, "Alright I do want something." Ice crawls through your stomach. You had hoped it was just him trying to make you feel comfortable in the group but no, there was a string. You look out to the range and track in your base. "Name it." You bite the words, trying to shove as much terror as you can in to your sentence. "Go to dinner with me." A beat, you inhale, another beat and you decide whether or not this counts as harassment. "You've been doing this to...get me to go on a date?" Trying to make the situation clear from your perspective. "Can't really flirt to save your life, the only way I knew what to do. I'll still do it. I just want you. You're a damn good soldier and an asset to the team. And you leave your work out of the base. The team likes you." He tilts your head back to him, as gently as anything. "I like you."

You loved your dinner and plan more date nights.

Soap

With Johnny it was harder to figure out if something was going on. He was always carrying extra things for the team. Ammo, meds, clothes, whatever. It's not until you get a smoke grenade to the face and you have to rip your contacts out to flush your face properly that you don't have extra, and your goggles that have your prescription is in your room. Keeping the pillows company. "Fuck all this." You're basically blind without them and there's no way you can fake it till you're back to base. It was stupid and careless. Price was going to have a field day with this after he reams you for an hour at least. "You alright?" Soap slumped down next to your still prone body. "No it's dumb I left my glasses and contacts. I'm going to have to evac. Or just wait." Soap laughs and you're about to get mad before he pulls out goggles for you. It's your old script but it's not too bad. You make it back to base with nothing more than a headache from your aching eyes. There's no reason he should have your old glasses. In fact, it's made you start to question how he always knows where you leave your things. He's genuinely nice and not in a bad way, even Ghost is gentle around him. Still, you need to talk, cause that's weird. Looking around you find him and you ask him to follow you in to the conference room. He does, glancing at you in confusion. You keep your face neutral and when the two of you sit down he's relaxed but nervous. "Everything alright?" "No not really, why do you have my old glasses? Pretty sure I threw those out, plus it's weird that you always know where I lose things." You lay out your concerns and his shoulders drop. "One, yes I notice where you lose things but you're always losing things and it makes you frustrated. So I've just been making sure to pay attention when you put something down or when you drop something. Two, you did throw them out but I had an extra from when your glasses once on a mission. So I've always kept one just in case. I'm sorry I made you unsettled. I really meant no harm. Plus I, wait no, sorry not the time." He waves his hand. "No no go on it's ok." You feel comfortable again and willing to go back to how it was before and hopefully set boundaries better for yourself. He leans forward. "I like you. I've been trying to get you to look at me, actually look at me." You feel your face go hot. "Dinner, maybe? Or something?" He continues, trying not to laugh at your agape expression.

You have dinner and a movie and happily wonder what your next date will be

Gaz

You were so focused on getting your exercise this morning done before it got too busy that you missed the breakfast call. 'Dammit!' There was no way it wasn't packed with people now. All the good food would be taken and you are not going to touch those breakfast bars, more crumb than food honestly. You make your way to your room, hoping that you would have something in your stash of snacks. As you comb through your drawers you find a single bag of popcorn. You had been meaning to go up to the shops and restock but you've been so busy or do tired lately. And now your stomach was growling. Great. You finished your popcorn on the way to the mess hall. The line was long but you slide in and wait. "Hey morning." Gaz bumps your shoulder friendly. "Hey!" You smile, he was always nice to you, and welcomed you to the group easily. "Got your favorites already don't worry about the line." He points over where the 141 was sat and a plate in front of an empty chair. You frown, "Yeah those are my favorites? How did you?" Gaz scoffs. "You eat like the same 6 things it's not hard to remember." Actually now that you think about it, he always makes sure you had your favorite food. Even if he for sure had to go out of his way. He looks over to your concerned face. "Hey you ok?" "No that's really weird. But thank you I think." You pick up your plate and go back to your room. It's too loud and the sound of other people chewing makes you want to scream today. Gaz followed you. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to upset you." You sigh and stop. "I'm good at what I do except this. Let me start over. You, me, dinner?" He asks and you look over to him. Before you can stop it a smile creeps over your face. "You were flirting?" He laughs, sheepish. "Badly, obviously." You shake your head, still smiling. "Ok you know what? Dinner sounds nice."

You both enjoy dinner so much that you end up taking all your meals alone together. It becomes so commonplace that Price sends those fold away tables to your rooms.

Price

You were new and the transition from your old squad to the 141 was strange. The base was private, secluded and unfortunately for you the nearest stores were about 15 miles away. It made shopping for hygiene products so annoying so you had to stock up. Until you had been gone for two months on a mission and you came back smelling awful and you had been run ragged and all you wanted was a shower and maybe a two week nap. You walked up to the base and Price walked out. "Good to see you, welcome back." "Good to be back Sir. I'll feel better after I get settled." He laughed and walked you in. "We had a bit of a move around. Your room was moved." Nervous now you followed him. "Something happen?" Shaking his head, Price lead you to a new door. "I should have had this done before but it turns out there's no real way to get plumbing to where your room was so we moved you here." You walked in and your things had been carefully moved. Wait. "Plumbing?" "Built you your own bathroom. Little bit of your own space." "I don't understand. I was fine with the one we already had." You looked under the sink and there was one more box of pads and tampons you absolutely were sure you didn't buy. That was creepy. "Let me know when you need new ones by the way I'll put in the order." Your head was screaming danger. No man in his position of power would just do that for no reason. Danger. No one would build a bathroom for one person and get the exact private things you would usually get. Danger. Slowly you stood up. Option One, get a hold of someone above Price and get out of here quickly and quietly Option Two be nice and grateful, (which you are Ghost and Soap are big fans of bathroom sex and any chance to not see that again was fantastic), but see if you can get out of this room without him noticing you freaking out. "What's wrong?" He asked, noticing your tension. Fuck, option one then. "It's kind of weird you know my order and the things I get. You also built me this. Captain, you have to know how this looks." You turn and face him. He looks at you and the gears start to turn. "Oh shit. No it's not like that I completely understand. I'm just trying to make you feel at ease. Give you your own space. Also your products are coming out of the squad budget so it's not any string I had to pull. I only noticed what they were when it was being packed away." You really think about it. Mull it over and over and slowly nod. "Then.. thank you Captain. I do appreciate it. It's so nice." Your own bathroom. You would have killed for this in your old squad. "Just want to take off my favorite girl." There he goes again. The easy banter. "I thought it was no big deal." You tease. "If I wasn't your favorite girl then you wouldn't do this?" He chuckles. "No I would. I wouldn't have any ideas about what goes on in this shower but I would still make it happen." "What kind of ideas?" You lean on the doorframe and he takes a few steps to you. "Let me show you."

You must have been in there a while because when you both make your way to the kitchen Ghost and Johnny are sitting around looking vaguely impatient. "Thank fuck." Ghost sighs and Johnny laughs. "Finally done? Thought you'd never finish."

König

You and König are good friends coming in at the same time, the two of you bond over trying to figure out your place in the squad. He's got your back and you've got his. When you get stuck in rain or fall in to water puddles too deep and they seep through your boots, he always has an extra pair of socks with him. Or a shirt when you need to rip one for an impromptu bandage. But it's especially odd when he happens to have a belt that is your size that you use to hold up a gun you swipped off an enemy body. "We're gonna talk about this when we get back." You tell him, matter of factly. And you do. You come up to his room and he let's you in. His body language is tense and he's actively making himself look as small and non-threatening as is physically impossible. "You always have spare clothes for me. You always have a hair tie or like today with a belt that I checked and is my size. It certainly isn't yours. So what's going on?" He slumps, and admits that he just wants to take care of you. "I'm not sure why I picked that but. For me it's strange I have to order my clothes or make them so I always like to make sure that you have clothes? I think. I'm not sure what I mean." He stands up and your eyes follow his. "I'm sorry my dear for upsetting you." You scoff and wave him off. "It's not weird you didn't upset me. Besides I think it's kind of cute that's how you show you care." König runs his hand over yours. "I do care. A lot. So much it drives me mad sometimes." He leans down, your head straining back, baring your neck to him. "Show me." You plead. "Not yet. I'm told I need to wine and dine before indulging, no?" You can see his eyes crinkle in mirth and damn if that isn't cute and hot at the same time.

"Ok I'm dined, I'm wined. Can we indulge now?" His laugh, deep and warm, is a balm and a flame at the same time.

Can you tell König is my favorite? None of this is healthy btw. I'm walking through the factory where they make the red flags and I'm asking for the gift shop and menu anyway. I need an exorcism.

Edit: can't believe I forgot Kyle. Ugh. Sorry for the late addition folx

[hanni-bae44]

Title: Die For You (Seonghwa) Part 2

▶︎၊၊||။|။ 00:10 | Playing: Die For You by The Weeknd

Pairing- Seonghwa x Reader x Wooyoung

Genre- University AU, angst, fluff (warnings: alcohol, mature language, mentions of sex, an argument scene)

Word Count- 7.9k

Summary- Between your best friend who doesn't love you back and the guy that does, things get messy as you try to figure out what exactly your heart wants.

-

​​“So what exactly did Yunho say about me?” you settled on asking, attempting to flutter your eyelashes. Yeah, you were not taking this impromptu meet up as seriously as you should. Sure Wooyoung was cute but you felt goofy today and apparently he found it amusing too because he just smiled.

“Just that you’re his friend and that I had to meet you. He also mentioned that you studied biology but he didn’t exactly mention to me how beautiful you were. If I knew I’d be seeing you tonight, I would’ve dressed up more.” There was a hint of flirtation in his voice when he leaned closer, which caused heat to rush up to your cheeks. He sure knew how to make a girl flustered because the way he looked at you had butterflies running rampant in your stomach. “Enough about what Yunho said though, tell me about yourself,” Wooyoung began, as he took a sip of his drink. 

“Um okay,” you sighed, not knowing where to start. “Well I’m in my third year. And like you already know, I’m studying biology. I want to become a science teacher. I used to tutor for two years and I guess a part of me just likes telling people what to do? I also just love the study of life. It’s so interesting learning how cells and organisms react and respond to external stimuli. And then there’s genetic code and ecology and it's just so cool how we’re practically all dependent on each other, you know?” you noticed how Wooyoung was gazing so intently at you and stopped yourself, “sorry, I’m rambling aren’t I? You probably don’t care. How about you? Tell me about yourself.”

“You’re not rambling at all and I do care. It’s actually nice to hear how passionate you are about your major,” he began. “A lot of people just go to college not knowing what they want or go just because they want to please their parents,” he paused momentarily and there was something in his eyes that looked rather dejected. “I know because I was definitely like that for a while. I was majoring in biology too. I was on track to be pre-med but I was miserable. I hated my classes and the labs but I tried hard to be the son my parents wanted me to be and make them proud. I was so miserable and lonely though that I even considered dropping out but then I met Yeosang over there,” he looked back at both his friends, “and he made me realize that life was too short to waste time pursuing a path I hated. He also made me realize my passion and what it was I actually wanted to do in life so I guess I have him to thank for my epiphany," he reminisced on.

You glanced back at your friends too and caught a glimpse of Seonghwa who was texting and you felt your heart sting. You loved him but there was no way you were going to mourn over what could’ve been forever; you had to move on. You were here with Wooyoung, pay attention to him, you mentally scolded yourself. You were enjoying his company and he was a great guy you could see yourself with if things went well. So, changing your attitude about this borderline date, you gave Wooyoung your full undivided attention. “And what is it that you wanted to do?” you asked. 

“I want to become a professional chef. Or at least do something in the hospitality and tourism industry,” he admitted with a melancholic smile. “I know I just need to go to culinary school but I figured having a bachelors wouldn’t hurt and my parents still wanted me to go to college, so I switched my major to business with a minor in hospitality management. Thankfully after a while, my parents just accepted it and college wasn’t so dreadful anymore. I even joined Delta Sigma Pi too because of Yeosang and met those losers,” he joked and you found yourself smiling too, because he was so endearing in the way he talked and expressed himself. 

As the conversation went on, you’d begin to realize that there was more to meet the eye. Wooyoung was really passionate about the culinary arts and even more introspective than you. His outer appearance was deceptive because although he was genuinely outgoing and silly, he was also a deep thinker and more earnest than you sought him out to be. Just hearing him talk about himself, you realized how hard working he was and how much self discipline he had. He was more wise than you thought too, so if there was one thing you’d learn while talking to him, he really believed in the saying that ‘your efforts never betray you’ and you found yourself standing by those words too.

As the night came to an end, you parted ways with Wooyoung and you guys even exchanged numbers. The rest of your friends split into cabs and you couldn’t stop smiling as you got into the cab with Yunho and Seonghwa to head back to their apartment south of downtown. Before you went out today, you had already decided you were going to crash at Yunho and Seonghwa’s shared apartment. Your car was currently parked at their place and you figured you’d drive back to your apartment tomorrow morning.

“So what do you think of Wooyoung?” Yunho asked from beside you as he manspreaded, forcing you to scoot over. You were practically squished in between the right side of the car door and your tall ass, long limbed friend. A heavy sigh escaped your lips.

“He’s great," you said, trying to get as comfortable as you could with Yunho's shoulder against yours. You instantly regretted climbing in first. The seatbelt was cutting into the side of your neck too and everything just felt uncomfortable. At least it wasn’t entirely terrible. At least the cab man wasn’t cheap and had the AC on at a temperature that wasn’t too cold nor hot.

“He’s a good guy Y/N.” Yunho insisted, lowering his head with a skeptical look in his eyes. It was almost as if he didn’t believe your words. What you said was the truth though, Wooyoung was honestly a great guy.

“I know," you enunciated. "I think I actually really like him,” you assured him while glancing over at Seonghwa who was texting someone (probably Seolhyun) on his phone.

Seonghwa peered up at your words, tilting his head to butt in. “He seems like the typical frat guy. Given how cynical you are, I’m surprised you even ‘like’ him.” The moment those words left his mouth, you scoffed. What did he know?

“Well he’s Yunho’s friend and I trust that he has good judgment. And just because he’s in a fraternity doesn’t mean he’s the stereotypical guys you see. If you just had one conversation with him, you’ll see. Also, I can make my own decisions, and Wooyoung seems like a good guy.”

“If you say so,” Seonghwa sighed, raking his hand through his hair. “You’ve only known him for what? Two hours? Just don’t be surprised when there's someone else.” 

You glared at him. Did he not drink enough tonight? Usually two drinks was enough to loosen him up and he was always a fun drunk.

Yunho elbowed Seonghwa who was so quick to judge. “Don’t listen to him, he’s just in a bad mood because he asked Seolhyun to hang out tomorrow and she blew him off.” He then turned back to you, a hand on your knee. “I know Wooyoung looks like the type to play around, but he’s not. He hasn’t actually hasn't been with anyone in two months," Yunho bragged. "There's nothing to worry about."

“How impressive,” Seonghwa mumbled under his breath before going back on his phone. If he hadn’t told you about his gigantic crush on Seolhyun earlier, you would’ve sworn he was almost jealous with how judgmental and grouchy he was. You ignored his attitude.

“Good to know I won’t be a rebound,” you said comically towards Yunho. “What happened anyway? Did he dump her? She dump him?"

Yunho exhaled. “He dumped her. I didn’t really know his ex that well but from the moment I met her, I didn't like her. And you know me, I like everyone. And turns out, she only used him for his money. Poor Wooyoung, you know? He really liked her.”

“Hold up,” you backtracked. “You’re telling me he’s loaded?”

“Yeah, but he’s really humble about it. He doesn’t tell anyone. Hell, I didn’t even know until his birthday last year when he threw this huge party at his parent’s mansion.” Yunho was saying all of this as if it was no big deal, as if it was common knowledge.

And it left you in shock.

“You should’ve led with that when you told me about him last week,” you joked. “I would’ve agreed to meet him much sooner.”

“Yeah right, Mrs. true love over money. You didn’t even care last week when I told you about how he wanted to meet. You wouldn’t let money deter you from the guy you actually like but who knows, maybe you’d come to like Wooyoung more than you think.” Yunho was right. You didn’t care about materialistic things and would rather be with a guy you genuinely liked than a guy who had money.

But when the guy you liked didn't like you back, you had to move on.

“No wonder why he paid for everyone’s drink,” Seonghwa grumbled from beside Yunho. “What a show off.” 

“He was just being nice.” Yunho glared at Seonghwa before turning to you. “Anyway, speaking of birthdays, what are you doing next week for your birthday?” 

“I have a class then I have a lab,” you droned and Yunho nodded. 

“Nothing afterwards?”

“I’m gonna take a nap,” you said as a-matter-of-factly and Yunho scoffed. 

-

When you arrived at Seonghwa and Yunho’s apartment, Yunho handed you an extra blanket and pillow to sleep on the sofa. You always had your essentials at their place for nights when you crashed over so it was just the usual. Everything was going well until you realized you forgot to bring your pajamas. And you really didn’t want to sleep in your clubbing outfit.

Reluctantly, you walked towards Seonghwa’s room. You would’ve went to Yunho’s room but he was fast asleep, that fact evident from the snores you could hear from outside the hallway. It was so tense between you and Seonghwa earlier but you sucked it up since you had no other choice. You counted to three before knocking on Seonghwa’s door. “Can I come in?”

“Sure,” he said from behind the door. "You can just come in, you know? You don't have to knock every time."

“Just to be safe," you said upon turning the doorknob. A flashback of that one time you almost saw him naked replayed in your head again and you felt heat rush up to your cheeks. You quickly shook that thought away. Thankfully he had pajamas on right now so no repeat of the event two months ago. "So um, can I borrow some clothes? I just don’t want to sleep in this outfit."

He immediately said “sure,” then rummaged through his dresser to toss you one of his t-shirts and basketball shorts. 

“Thanks." You also gave him back his jacket, about to close the door when he spoke up again.

“By the way, do you really like that Wooyoung guy?” He asked as he grabbed the towel beside him to dry his hair. His demeanor was calm so you couldn't read him well. You chewed on the inside of your cheek, trying to come up with a decent response.

“Yeah, I do,” you settled on.

“I don't like him.” His voice was stern and you genuinely wondered what was going on inside his head right now because he had already made it clear how he felt about Wooyoung earlier.

“I know. But I do. So can you at least try to understand?”

Seonghwa sighed. “I’m only looking out for you. Some of Yunho’s friends are nice and all but that doesn’t mean they’re looking for anything serious and I’m just worried you’ll get hurt. You know I care for you right?” You appreciated him but just why did he always have to act like a nagging parent?

“I’ll be fine. I can take care of myself.” You tried not to show how annoyed you were. It was late and you were too tired for this.

“You know I love you right?” he began softly as he neared you, tossing the towel aside. He then grabbed your hands and pulled you into his chest, his arms around you now. “I’m sorry if I was being blunt today but it’s only because I don’t want you to get hurt.” 

If only he knew that he was the reason why you were hurt in the first place. He could always read right through you— except for the times when he was the reason you were upset. It sucked how he broke your heart. And he wasn’t even aware he was doing it. 

“I know,” you mumbled. You tried not to think about the heat of his body against yours because your top was really thin and it left you feeling him everywhere. It did little to stop your heartbeat from quickening so you pulled away. “I should go change now.”

-

Getting settled on the sofa, you tried your best to sleep but you couldn’t stop thinking about how you could hear everything Seonghwa and Seolhyun were talking about. The walls were paper thin and Seonghwa kept flirting and laughing at the things she said.

You used to be the one he called late at night and now she was the one he ended the night talking to. Granted, you were over at his place right now, and he didn’t need to call if he wanted to talk but still. The past week, his late night calls were short and now you knew why. He was busy calling another girl.

To soothe your uneasiness, you ended up texting your roommate-- NingNing-- about the events that occurred tonight and thankfully she was still awake, texting you while FaceTiming Mingi. They were apparently seeing each other now and while you weren't surprised, it still felt weird. At least they finally admitted it though, it was an agonizing few weeks of watching them sneak around and flirt.

After a while of texting and scrolling on your phone, you were about to call it a day when you received a text.

Wooyoung [ 1:02 am ]: hey, are you awake?

You [ 1:02 am ]: depends... is this a booty text?

Wooyoung [ 1:03 am ]: oh no, it's not I swear, I just wanted to talk

Wooyoung [ 1:03 am ]: I have a very important question to ask tho since you're awake

You smiled, pulling Yunho's blanket he clearly didn't wash from the last time you slept over towards your stomach. You half expected a flirtatious response from Wooyoung, but to your surprise, he was adamant that this wasn’t a suggestive text.

You [ 1:03 am ]: hit me with it

Wooyoung [ 1:03 am ]: so, do you like physics?

Who asks this question at 1 A.M.? you thought. You still responded, but the question was just so random, it threw you off guard. 

You [ 1:04 am ] yeah, I actually have to take a few physics courses for my bio major lol, why?

Wooyoung [ 1:04 am ]: because according to newton’s law of universal gravitation, if I’m attracted to you, then you’re attracted to me. 

Wooyoung [ 1:04 am ]: can you confirm? 😆

Wooyoung [ 1:04 am ]: sorry, was that lame? I just saw it online and I thought of you since you like science

You smiled, because it was indeed lame. But he was cute for that so you lied. 

You [ 1:04 am ] nah it’s not lame. I think you’re attractive too, but shouldn’t you be sleeping right now? it’s late lol

Wooyoung [ 1:05 am ]: yeah, but I couldn’t stop thinking of you

And just like that, you ended up texting Wooyoung for the next two hours with a huge grin on your face, your eyelids heavy the whole time.

-

“Admit it, I was right about Wooyoung. I bet you regret not listening to me and meeting him sooner don't you?” Yunho asked with a smug look on his face. It was the next Friday now, and you and him were currently in the library together with your laptops open. You managed to finish one assignment but didn’t get much done because Wooyoung kept texting you which of course caught Yunho’s attention.

“Sure, whatever,” you waved dismissively towards Yunho, too engrossed in the conversation with Wooyoung to look up at him. You couldn’t stop smiling down at your phone while texting Wooyoung.

Ever since that day at the bar, you and him haven’t stopped texting each other. That night, there was no awkwardness, no silence, no overthinking. Conversations with him were so natural and easy. He even made you feel jittery inside because for once you weren’t bored and found the flirting fun. It made you excited. You wanted to get to know more about him and it was a new feeling. You’ve never met someone like Wooyoung before and it was like a breath of fresh air being around him. 

The rest of your friends would show up one by one to the table you were at and wished you happy birthday as they came. Although you turned a year older today, it didn't feel as exciting as it did when you were a kid. It was just another day closer to wrinkles, menopause, and death at this point. If Yunho could read your pessimistic thoughts, he'd surely slap your wrist and call you ridiculous because he absolutely loved birthdays and saw the good in everything.

“Happy birthday!” Seonghwa said loudly as he gave you a back hug, making you startled. He laughed at your reaction before handing you a gift bag with some tissue paper. He stood tall and watched as you pulled out gift.

When you saw the Nintendo Game you had been hinting at for the past month, you squealed and jumped up to give Seonghwa a proper hug, thanking him over and over again before sitting back down.

You really were thankful. Not just for the game, but to have your best friend back. But good moments were fleeting, and it didn’t take long for reality to crash down again.

By the next hour, you finally managed to finish your pre-lab questions. Although the side conversations have never distracted you before, today it did. The majority of your friends were in the university's dance team and while you tried to support them when you could, you had class yesterday during the time of the concert and attendance was required.

Seonghwa managed to pull up the performance last night and forced it in your face, wanting to show off how well they did. And like the supportive friend you were, you watched it, and praised him knowing that Seonghwa, although confident in his skills, had his fair share of doubts and insecurities as well.

So it hurts.

It hurts that while you complimented him, he kept going on about how Seolhyun was the greatest addition to the team again like a broken record. Sure she was captivating on stage but you didn’t need to hear it 24/7. And as Seonghwa rewatched the footage again, you couldn’t help but notice how literal hearts formed in his eyes. It was like he was entranced, drunk on a love spell or something. And it was pathetic.

But then again, you were also pathetic. By now, you’ve come to terms with it. Seonghwa would never like you back. You just wished your feelings for him would go away already.

-

Wooyoung [ 2:44 pm ]: so what are you doing for your bday?

You smiled down at your phone. Wooyoung finally responded to your text after an hour. You guys picked up where you left off again which was the topic of your birthday. It had only been a week of texting back and forth so it was way too soon to tell him that it was your birthday. You didn't intend on telling him but then Yunho opened his big mouth so here you were.

You [ 2:45 pm ]: I have a lab at 6, then I’m going to take a nap lol

Wooyoung [ 2:45 pm ]: that’s so boring thooo

You [ 2:45 pm ]: it’s just another day, nothing special lol

And it truly was just another day. You were just going to turn a year older, there was no point in trying to celebrate although you had a feeling your roommate would probably try to pull something.

Wooyoung [ 2:45 pm ]: it’s your birthday, the day you came out into this world, it should be celebrated

You [ 2:45 pm ]: I guess

“You’re texting him now?” Seonghwa grimaced, his distaste for Wooyoung as clear as ever. You truly didn't get what was such a big deal because he knew you and him were talking. He had been acting like this for the past week now and it got annoying real quick. 

“Yes,” you replied, raising a brow at Seonghwa. “Is there a problem with that? I like him.”

“No. But it’s just you’ve only known him for a week."

“So? You barely knew Seolhyun and you’re obsessed with her.”

“I'm not obsessed. And that’s different.” He pursed his lips. You begged to differ with how he managed to make every conversation about her, but you didn’t call him out on it, not wanting to look jealous.

“Do tell, because I don’t see how it is.” 

“It just is. He’s a guy and you know how guys are. Not everyone is going to be like me or Yunho.” There Seonghwa went again being overprotective for no reason and you rolled your eyes.

“Hey man, trust Wooyoung has good intentions,” Yunho interjected and you agreed with him. Sure, a week of texting wasn't enough to say for sure, but you just had a feeling in your gut that Wooyoung was a genuinely good guy. And your intuition? Although wrong half the time, had its accurate moments too.

“Since you want to talk about Wooyoung, let’s talk about Seolhyun too," you challenged with a beaming smile, "You know how girls are like her are, what about her makes her any different?”

Seonghwa furrowed his brows and that was when you knew you got him right where you wanted him. Provoking him was fun, especially with how many jabs he took at Wooyoung these days. “What do you mean girls like her? What are you implying?”

“I don’t know, what am I implying?” You honestly didn’t know either but if he was going to act like a child, you were too.

“Guys, let's not fight,” Mingi butted in, attempting to ease the tension. You only narrowed your eyes at him. 

“This isn’t a fight. I’m just simply asking him a question,” you sighed.

Seonghwa rolled his eyes. “Whatever, this is stupid. Let’s just drop it.”

You scoffed.

Of course he would brush this off. And to think, he used to be the type to actually want to talk about his feelings. You never thought the Seonghwa you knew would change so much. You thought you guys were close but you guessed not. He didn’t even tell you about Seolhyun the other day, considering how you had to hear about it from Yunho who half hid the truth from you.

So really, you shouldn’t be that surprised.

All your friends sucked at this point. 

-

Or maybe your friends didn't entirely suck. 

The moment you opened the door to your apartment and turned on the lights, your friends all jumped up and yelled “Surprise!” followed by a “Happy Birthday!”

You had just gotten back from your lab and you were going to take a nap but you supposed you could skip it for moments like these. You were so happy seeing all the people you were close with but then your eyes landed on a certain someone and your smile faltered.

Seolhyun was next to Seonghwa and you hated how picture perfect they looked together.

She was wearing a pretty pink dress too, one that made her look like a princess. It was your birthday yet it looked like it was her birthday instead with how she out-dressed everyone. Her makeup looked good too and it only made you more aware of how you looked right now. You didn’t need a mirror to know that you probably looked like a mess. You were sure there were probably still marks on your face from the goggles you had to wear during the lab. And you probably looked dead inside from the busy day you had. You then glanced down at your outfit and yikes. You wished NingNing would've at least given you a heads up about this party because the leggings and t-shirt you were wearing right now was embarrassing. 

You mentally slapped yourself.

You let your friends sing and congratulate you before you went to change into a more appropriate outfit. You then found NingNing in the kitchen and pulled her over to a more quiet area of the apartment. She was always known for throwing a party every time there was an occasion and inviting a lot of people. And as much as you loved and appreciated her for all the complaints you received from your neighbors, she also knew about Seolhyun so just why did she invite her? You asked her, and she frowned apologetically.

“I’m sorry, Seonghwa brought her and I couldn’t just say no. She’s on the dance team too and it would’ve been rude if we didn’t invite her since most of your friends are on the team. It’s not so bad if you think about it. I actually talked to her earlier too and she’s really nice, you should give her a chance.” She tried to get you to cheer up too as she clung onto your arm but it didn’t work.

“You sound like Seonghwa,” you droned and she grimaced. You were going to need a beer. 

-

“Are you having fun?” The voice of Mingi took you by surprise. He stood beside you with his own beer, solemnly looking around the party filled with mostly friends and a couple people you didn’t know. 

“Not really," you sighed as you leaned against the counter.

“It’s because of Seonghwa isn’t it?” 

You choked a little as your eyes widened. You straightened your back then turned to him, nudging his elbow. “What?”

Mingi grinned. “You’re not good at hiding your feelings as you think but don’t worry, I’ll keep it on the low.”

You raised a brow, having a slight suspicion your roommate liked to tell her boyfriend/ not-boyfriend your secrets. "Did NingNing say something?"

"Nah.” He smiled dubiously before taking a sip of his beer. You truly hated how men were sometimes with their short and clipped responses. You were going to ask him to elaborate when he spoke again. “Wooyoung’s not the guy Seonghwa painted him out to be earlier in the library by the way. I think he’s just confused right now. Has a lot on his mind.”

“I know but what do you think he’s even confused about?”

Mingi shrugged. “Things. He’s just oblivious sometimes.”

You understood and replied to that by taking a sip of your drink.

Mingi didn't linger around much longer before NingNing called him over. You sighed as you watched him walk away before scanning the room. You only wanted to look for someone to talk to when you made the grave mistake of making eye contact with Seonghwa. Before you knew it, he was gesturing for you to walk over to where he was near the hallway.

You heard Seonghwa call your name and you just froze. You couldn’t even act like you didn't hear because you’ve already locked eyes. You didn’t move but within a few seconds, he walked over anyway. “Meet Seolhyun,” he introduced, and you tried to smile. “She’s the one I was telling you about on the dance team.”

“Hi.” You hoped your lazy smile masks your lack of interest.

“Hey girl,” she beamed, going in for a hug, almost spilling your beer. She was also holding a beer too but she handled it better. You had to awkwardly put your arms to the side, trying to hold your beer at a distance. “Happy birthday! Seonghwa has told me a lot about you. You’re a biology major right? How’s that going for you?”

“Good.” You could’ve asked her about her major too but you honestly couldn’t care less.

“So did you go to our performance yesterday? We performed a medley of Hip Hop songs and Seonghwa over here was amazing,” she glanced over at him and they smiled at each other. You genuinely wanted to puke right there on her pretty sparkly heels.

"I was busy," you said but you doubt she even heard you with how much she loved to talk, going on about the performance with Seonghwa. You admired the way Seonghwa looked at her. It was the same way you looked at him if he ever cared to notice. It wasn't until Seonghwa patted your shoulder that you realized you weren't even paying attention to a single thing they said.

“I’m gonna get myself a beer, I’ll be right back,” Seonghwa announced before walking away, and right as he did, Seolhyun dropped the act.

“You like Seonghwa don’t you?” She folded her arms and sized you up. If only her fake lashes weren't lifting up from the corner of her eyes. Maybe then, you would've been more intimidated. Instead, you raised a brow and remained composed.

“What?”

“Oh cut the bullshit, I know you like him.”

“We’re just friends,” you tried to say calmly but she was less than pleased with your response.

“He talks a lot about you. You know, at first I thought he liked you but then I realized that it was just you who liked him. I know you guys are friends and all but if you know what's good for him, you'd back off and keep your distance.”

“Can you chill? I don’t know what you’re talking about. And we’re just friends so you can have him.” And you meant that. Although you liked him, you would never try to ruin his thing with Seolhyun after you knew how much he liked her.

“Fine then.” She straightened her posture then flashed a beaming smile. “Nice necklace by the way,” she complimented, eyeing the silver heart necklace that fell in between the clavicle bones on your chest. She then scanned the room. "Can you hold my beer for a second? I just need to fix this clip in my hair. Please?" She asked nicely with a pout, holding out her drink.

Against your better judgment, you said "sure" and tried to grab her drink only for her to drop it, causing the bottle to shatter into pieces as it landed on the floor. The liquid spilled all over her heels while it splashed onto yours. You winced at the noise while she stumbled back. It wasn't like the music in your apartment was loud either, so everyone heard the noise and her dramatic yelp.

All the attention was on you and Seolhyun now.

"Are you okay?" you asked, but the second you noticed her expression change, you realized what she was doing and regretted ever trying to be civil with her. A tear now trailed down her cheek and she looked as if she was about to cry.

“Look, I know it’s your birthday and all but you don’t have to be so mean. I only wanted to try on your necklace, you could’ve just said no instead of knocking the beer out of my hands." She covered her face with her hands and before you knew it, she was full-on sobbing. Seonghwa immediately ran to her.

“I swear I didn’t do that. She did it herself.” You tried to defend yourself but you knew it was a lost cause the moment you met Seonghwa's eyes. He looked at you with disgust as he pulled her into his arms. You rolled your eyes at how Seonghwa was buying this whole act.

“And why would she do that? What’s up with you lately? You’ve been so snappy these days. And now you go and do this?” Seonghwa raised his voice as he held her in his arms. All you could do was look blankly at him. He has never raised his voice at you before. You didn’t let the fact that he called you snappy in front of everyone deter you from defending yourself either.

“Nothing’s been up with me,” You said calmly. "This is just a huge misunderstanding. I really didn't do that."

“You should apologize," Seonghwa said sternly and once again, you were annoyed with him for always telling you what to do. You couldn’t believe how he was actually taking her side when he didn’t even know the full story or bothered to ask.

Regardless, you stood your ground. “I’m not apologizing for something I didn’t do. You’re really going to believe her over me?”

“Well I definitely don’t believe she would drop the beer all over her new shoes.”

Seolhyun looked back at you with 'fear' in her eyes and you had to laugh. This was your apartment, why were you even putting up with this? You were going to kick her out when the front door abruptly opened and Wooyoung walked in. You didn't expect him to come but you supposed Yunho had something to do with it.

A part of you was glad he came but now? Right in the middle of this stupid argument? You made eye contact with Wooyoung and he smiled softly at you. You tried to mirror his smile but yours turned out weak due to Seonghwa's accusations dampening your mood.

"Happy birthday, sorry I'm late, the traffic was bad and then I saw a stand with flowers and I wanted to get you a bouquet. Yunho said you liked roses right? I hope it's not too soon." Wooyoung rambled as he placed the gift bag and roses on the coffee table. He then glanced around the room and noticed that everyone was quiet and staring at him like he was a ghost. The only noise was from the faint music at this point and it didn't take long for him to realize that something was wrong.

Rage filled your blood as you met Seolhyun’s eyes again but you remained collected. You couldn’t believe Seonghwa was actually defending her and raising his voice at you in front of everyone at your birthday party. The Seonghwa you used to know wouldn't do this. And you weren't about to argue with him anymore. You placed your own beer on the counter before spitting one last thing, “You know what? I don’t care anymore. Believe her all you want but that's not what happened. The both of you just need to leave.”

You didn't bother to spare them another glance before storming off to your room and slamming the door.

You weren’t going to cry but you were definitely pissed at the whole situation being so unfair. You paced back and forth in your own room, not knowing where to go from here. How long would you even stay in your room before going outside again? It was going to be awkward with how everyone witnessed Seonghwa raising his voice at you and taking the new girl’s side.

It wouldn’t even be a full minute before you heard the door open and you slapped your head for forgetting to lock it. "I told you to leave," you exclaimed, expecting Seonghwa but to your surprise, it was Wooyoung and your tone softened. "Sorry, I thought you were someone else.”

"It's okay," he stuck his head in with a soft smile. "Can I come in?"

"Yeah, sure."

Wooyoung stepped in with the bouquet of roses. "Like I said earlier, I hope it’s not too soon but happy birthday.” He handed the bouquet to you and watched as you placed it onto your desk. After what just happened, Wooyoung really was like a breath of fresh air. He managed to ease your nerves while making your heart touched as well. "I heard what happened before I came too and I just wanted you to know that I believe you'd never do that to her without a good reason.”

Great, so did everyone believe you actually knocked the bottle out of her hands now?

"Thanks, but I really didn’t do it," you sighed, sitting on the edge of your bed, encouraging him to do the same. "I just wish my friend would believe me." You glanced down at your lap and picked at your cuticles. A part of you wished NingNing never planned this surprise party in the first place. Maybe then you’d still have your dignity and Seonghwa wouldn’t have humiliated you in front of everyone.

“I believe you.” The sound of Wooyoung’s soft voice made you glance over at him. He smiled genuinely and placed a hand over yours to stop your fidgeting.

“Thank you.” Your mouth went dry and you cleared your throat, avoiding his gaze. You didn't even have to look at him to know he was smirking.

"I like your room, by the way," he began, eyes taking in your walls full of posters and random pictures. You glanced around your room and it was a mess with all the decorations and stuff you hoarded. You couldn't help but think back to Seonghwa who always nagged at you to clean your room. It was definitely not a pretty room at all but you thanked Wooyoung anyway.

"Something catch your eye?" you asked, noticing how he was fixating on your shelves full of mostly romance books. You loved to read stories where people fell in love and got their happy ending. Because despite being cynical, you’ve always believed in true love and yearned for that through your collection of books.

"Do you read a lot?" He made his way towards the shelf and pulled out one of your dark romance books, flipping through it. Out of all the young adult and thriller books you had, why did he have to pick the one with the most explicit content?

"I try." You nervously chewed on the inside of your cheek. "But don't be impressed or anything. It's just romance stories, some thriller here and there, nothing educational." You let him do whatever until his eyes began to scan a page and he smirked, raising his eyebrows at you. That was when you snatched the book from him, realizing that out of all the pages he could've flipped to, he managed to land on a scene where the two main characters were being intimate.

"These books seem very educational to me. They’re fun," he teased. "Is this the type of stuff you're into?" He could not stop grinning as he stared at you. For the nth time that night, you were embarrassed, feeling heat rush up to your cheeks. You chose not to respond as you slipped the book back to its spot on the shelf. “Oh come on, I was joking,” he exhaled, “Are you mad?”

“I know. And I’m not.” You avoided his eyes.

Wooyoung chuckled before pushing a loose strand of hair behind your ear. “You're cute when you're shy, you know that? And since I haven’t told you yet, you look absolutely beautiful today.” He then cupped your cheek, forcing you to meet his eyes. “Should we go outside again? I bet your friends miss you. You are the main event after all. Birthday girl.” His breath hits your skin and your swallow was thick. A smirk tugged at his lips before his hand fell back to his side and he stepped back, leaving you absolutely flustered.

After a few seconds you finally managed to think again. You took a deep breath before leaning against your bookshelf. "I know I can't hide in my room all night but it was just so embarrassing how my friend took her side when he didn't even bother to ask me what happened. Does everyone really think I’d be that petty to knock a beer out of her hands? It’s my apartment after all and I’d be the one that’ll have to mop up the stickiness later.” You rambled, hoping Wooyoung would at least take your side.

“They’re your friends aren’t they? I'm sure they'll understand if you explain the situation.”

“It's still embarrassing,” you groaned.

Wooyoung reached for your hands, pulling you closer towards him. His breath fanned over you as he softly asked, “Do you trust me?”

“I barely know you.”

“Then get to know me." His eyes flickered between your lips and eyes as he wets his own lips. You were almost sure he was going to kiss you as he stared at you. But he didn’t. The only thing you felt was the squeeze he gave your hand. “What do you say?” he mumbled.

“Yeah, I’d like that.” Your voice was barely above a whisper as you smiled back at him.

Wooyoung then reached for the door knob when it abruptly swung open, causing you to jump, your free hand flying to your chest to calm your beating heart. Wooyoung was calm amidst it all and let out a small chuckle at how easily frightened you got. 

Upon seeing who it was, you grimaced. Never have you actually been more annoyed to see Seonghwa. "Shouldn't you be with your girlfriend right now?" you asked, bitterness laced in your tone.

“We need to talk," he insisted, ignoring your question. His eyes drifted to your hands that were currently intertwined with Wooyoung's and he cleared his throat. Avoiding Wooyoung's presence, he only looked up at you. “We weren’t done talking earlier.”

“What's there to talk about?" you genuinely asked as you let go of Wooyoung's hand. "You won’t believe anything I say anyway so why don’t you just leave?”

“Can we talk alone?” Seonghwa was unyielding, glaring at Wooyoung now who heaved a sigh. You could tell Wooyoung was the type to bark back but for some reason, he held off.

Wooyoung took the hint and smiled at you before leaning towards your ear. “I’ll be waiting outside when you’re done.” And something about his low voice gave you butterflies.

When he left, Seonghwa turned back to you with the look of an overprotective father who caught a boy sneaking into his daughter’s room. “So what? You and him made out?”

“None of your business." You crossed your arms against your chest. “Just say what you want to say and leave.”

“Fine. You should apologize to Seolhyun, you made her cry.”

You scoffed, as if it was your fault.

At this point, you didn’t even care to be affable anymore. Not when he was acting like he was the boss of you. “Is your hearing okay? I meant it the first time, I’m not apologizing for something I didn’t do so you’re wasting your time with us ‘talking’ because I can assure you, this conversation will go nowhere.”

“Why do you always have to be so stubborn? You know I like Seolhyun so just why can’t you try to be nice and get along with her? You used to be so supportive for me, what happened to you? She’s the best thing that has ever happened to me.”

“I still am supportive for you." Your brows pulled together. "I really didn’t spill her drink though. She did it herself.”

“You need to stop lying.”

“I'm not lying." You were raising your voice at a wall at this point. "Just why can't you believe me? You didn't even bother to ask for my side of the story before running to her. You've known me for over two years now while you barely know her yet you just trust everything she says? How do you think that makes me feel?"

“Not everything is about you.” He exhaled. “Look, I wasn’t going to say anything, but you’ve been different the past week. You’ve never been like this before.” He rubbed his temple, seemingly in a train of thought. “It's because of that Wooyoung guy isn't it? I knew it was only a matter of time before he’d rub off on you.”

“What does he have to do with this? I’ve only known him for a week so he hasn’t rubbed shit on me. And for the last time, I didn't spill her drink. We were just talking about you, she said she liked my necklace, and then she just dropped the beer herself.” Your blood was boiling with how he wouldn't even listen to a word you said. It was like Seolhyun had him wrapped around her little finger.

“That's not what she told me." He crossed his arms against his chest and pursed his lips.

“Well it's the truth." You clenched your jaw. You were all worked up now, and before you could even filter your thoughts, you just spoke your mind. "She’s a liar Seonghwa, just when will you realize it? But then again she's pretty so of course you'd do anything to get in her pants even if you know I'm right.”

“So that's why you've been acting like this?" He lets out a small laugh, tilting his head back as he poked the inside of his cheek with his tongue. "You're jealous that she's pretty? Is that why you knocked the drink out of her hands? That's real low Y/N, even for you."

"Trust me,” you fumed. “I am not jealous of her." It was a lie, but you weren't about to lose the argument now.

"Doesn’t seem like it to me.” He lets out a deep sigh. “I'm really trying here but you just keep lying. All we do is bicker these days Y/N. What happened to us?"

"I could ask the same."

Seonghwa nodded before snapping. “You know what? You were right, this conversation is useless. Let's just end it here because it clearly isn't going anywhere. I don't know what happened to make you like this recently but jealousy and this new attitude of yours isn’t a good look on you.” He looked you dead in the eyes one last time to say, “Happy fucking birthday,” before slamming the door in your face. Seonghwa rarely cursed, so when he did, that was when you knew that he was really mad. Although you said some mean things too, it was only because he was being unfair. You felt so betrayed. 

So much for your special day, you thought. And you didn't even need to confess your feelings to him for the memories of him to taint your birthday.

You never thought loving someone could hurt so much. Tears filled your vision as you stumbled to the edge of your bed. You felt like your world just collapsed because for the past two years, Seonghwa was the constant in your life, the one you went to for advice, the one you leaned on.

And now he was someone else’s.

-

[ Series Masterlist | ⇨ Part 3 ]

Taglist- @thunderous-wolf @kookley77-blog @huachengsbestie01 @tinyteezer @vnessalau @potatos-on-clouds @minghaoslatina @dmnspiit @wallaiea @vampzity @yunhogrippers @cookiesandgravy @stfu-rina

A/N- Sorry for taking forever to update if anyone is even reading this lol. Also peep the NCT quote if anyone caught it hehe. Anyway, take care everyone and remember to drink lots of water, love you all <3

[suzukiblu]

excerpt from the one where Tim Drake goes to an alternate reality and decides to get his other self laid via the local Kon's bisexual awakening:

"Hey, remember when you saved my life earlier?" Tim asks. 

"Yeah, kinda," Kon replies in amusement. "Seeing as it was about two point five seconds after you rigged the evil alien robot army to self-destruct and helped save our entire literal reality's life, so I was definitely paying attention." 

"Flatterer," Tim says with a smirk even as he waves him off. The self-destruct function wasn't even that hard to hack, comparatively. That time he'd downloaded Lex Luthor's active IP files from his personal office while the asshole had been on his damn computer–now that'd been tricky. Interdimensional alien invaders barely compare. And the Brainiac incident still gives him stress migraines when he thinks about it for too long. 

Metropolis sucks and Tim frankly has no idea how his own Kon can stand the place.

But like, getting off-topic here. 

"Well, I was gonna say you should let me pay you back for that," he continues. "But since you bring it up I'll also accept a show of gratitude on behalf of your reality, whichever gets you off harder.” 

Kon laughs, because he is apparently adorable enough to have assumed that was a joke. Precious little moron, Tim thinks fondly. 

"You know, you're a lot less uptight than our version of you is," Kon says, grinning down at Tim before flashing Tim's other self a smirk. "No offense, Rob. Dude's clearly just doing more yoga than you or something. Maybe drinking more tea? Taking the occasional bubble bath?" 

"Silly me, if only I'd invested in more bath bombs in my life," Tim's other self says dryly. 

"It's probably my sex life, actually," Tim himself puts in with an easy shrug. Turns out when you stop pretending you don't have a ridiculously high libido and actually just indulge the thing, a lot of life's little annoyances become a lot easier to handle. Go figure. "Plus my boyfriend Bernard is really great, just his entire existence does wonders for my mood in general and he also makes me eat real food on occasion and monitors my caffeine intake much more reliably than I'm capable of doing on my own. The man is a living antidepressant and I don't even mean that in a fucked-up way, he's just that good." 

"Boyfriend?" Kon blinks at him, then puts on another grin. It takes, Tim cannot help but notice, exactly two beats longer than his real grin would've. "Ohhhhh, okay, so the problem is just that you're not getting laid hard enough?" 

"It is not," Tim's other self says dubiously, watching Kon just a little bit warily and obviously worried about his potential reaction to the word "boyfriend". Well, Tim never claimed to be emotionally intelligent about Kon, so no surprise his other self is also a dumbass there. 

"It kinda is, actually," he tells his other self. "I was tracking my cortisol levels the last time I went on a solo away mission and let's just say they were . . . concerning? Like really concerning. Like by the time I got back I was kiiiiind of convinced I was going to need to go on anti-anxiety meds again. But then I jumped my Kon in the Titans Tower med bay instead and that pretty much solved the problem." 

Kon . . . pauses, sort of. Tilts his head. Tim's other self looks a lot warier.

"'Jumped'," Kon repeats carefully. "Like . . . what, you dragged him to the gym to spar or something?" 

"Like I blew his back out so hard that when he came his TTK fritzed out and disassembled my recovery bed," Tim clarifies helpfully. "It really helped with the cortisol levels issue." 

Kon blinks. Tim's other self looks pained, but also desperately envious. Tim would also be desperately envious if their situations were reversed and so does not blame him for said envy in the slightest. 

"I thought you said you had a boyfriend?" Kon says after a moment, sounding a little odd in a very telling way. Or at least very telling to Tim, anyway. 

As is the way that he's not looking at Tim's other self at all anymore. 

"Open relationship," Tim says. "Also Bernard thinks you're stupidly hot and really likes hearing about the kind of stuff you let me do to you. I've actually been debating inviting you over for his birthday so he can watch us live for once but I haven't asked you yet." 

"What, so your Kon is the side chick?" Kon jokes, awkwardly putting on another just barely belated grin. 

"More like my kept boy, functionally speaking, but he's having a 'weird about commitment' phase right now so I've just been making a lot of sugar baby jokes to soften him up," Tim replies with a shrug. It's only sort of been working, but it has been working, and he's willing to take his time on it. It's not fair to expect Kon to only be easy, after all. "Long-term goal is to marry Bernard and ideally get Kon to 'live-in boyfriend' status somewhere in there, but that would also require him not being weird about commitment and also figuring out how well he and Bernard get along in the same space, so we'll just have to see how that one goes." 

"Uh," Kon says. "Why?" 

"Because you are incredibly important to me and also look like a very horny Renaissance sculptor made you out of calacatta marble," Tim tells him matter-of-factly, gesturing meaningfully at him. "Frankly it's criminal that you ever put clothes on."

[justbreakonme]

Whumpees been getting better.

They’d been forcing themselves to put in the work it took. Taking their meds, following doctors orders, showing up to therapy sessions.

To everyone, it looked like they were on the fast track to a speedy recovery.

But late at night, when no one was around, they weren’t as perfect.

They clawed and scratched at healing wounds, sobbing till they gagged and choked, writhing like a frantic dying animal on the bathroom floor.

They had to hold it together, they couldn’t give up the act now, it was too late…

One night, Caretaker is passing through, looking for a sheet of notes, and heard a scuffling noise.

“Whumpee? You okay?”

They ease the bedroom door open and see no one, but the noise intensified. They pushed open the closet door, and sunk to their knees.

“S-stop! Don’t look at me!” Whumpee retched, shying away from Caretakers horrified stare, “Please, just go away…”

“What? Whumpee, no! Oh my god, we have to get you back to the doctors-“ they reach out to help them, and when Whumpee jerked away, Caretaker had blood on their hands.

“I’m fine- Just- Please don’t tell them, please, god, please…”

It was like they were falling apart at the seams, fully pushed to the edge.

“O-okay, I won’t tell anyone, okay,” Caretaker bargained, “But you have to let me help you, then.”

“You swear?”

“I swear.”

Caretaker helps Whumpee up and onto a chair for them to fix their popped stitches, unable to process the shaking figure before them. They had been laughing and cracking jokes all dinner, how had they held this in so long?

“Here, put your arm out, let me get the first aid kit…” they coax, deciding to give themselves a moment to think, “Is there any other injuries that need attention?”

Whumpees eyes were blank and glassy, sliding over their body like they were trying to see but couldn’t pull themselves back to the present enough to do so.

They shook their head.

“Okay…”

They didn’t quite believe that but unless they saw something, they’d take Whumpee’s word for it.

As gently as they could, they brushed a disinfectant pad over their arm, their heart pinching when Whumpee flinched away. “It’s over, that should be the worst of it… Now we’ll just wrap it up,” they soothe, winding the gauze around their arm then securing it with tape, “There, all good.”

“Thank you…”

“Anytime.”

Caretaker stooped to meet their eyes. “Really. Anytime you need me, I’ll be here.”

They nodded, again, not fully in the present.

“Whumpee. Look at me, okay?”

They obeyed, struggling to focus.

“I’m here for you. I love you. We all love you. We want to help you, so you don’t have to face this on your own. I know you’ve been trying to pretend that you’re perfectly fine but it’s okay if you aren’t.”

Finally, finally, it seems like their words sunk in.

Whumpees hand moved up to cover their mouth, their eyes squeezing shut as they sobbed without a sound.

“We’re here for you, everything’s gonna be okay…” Caretaker murmured, pulling them into a loose hug, “Everything is gonna be okay, I promise. We’re gonna make it okay.”

They stayed like that for who knows how long, Whumpee cradled against them as they cried themselves out.

Slowly, the tears tapered off, and they looked up, hazy and exhausted but here.

“I’m sorry…”

“What are you sorry for? You haven’t done anything wrong.”

“I just- I didn’t want to be a burden… I wanted-“ they cut themselves off as their voice starts to crack.

“What did you want Whumpee?”

“Could you love me like you used to?”

“Yes. Always.”

Whumpee shook their head.

“You used to never see me cry… How could you? And I- I don’t know if I can do it…”

“I love you, period. I respect you the same way, whether I’ve seen you cry or not. But what do you mean ‘if you can do it’? Do what?”

“I can’t…be strong, anymore. I don’t- It hurts too much to be strong right now.”

The confession seemed to crush them. They looked down, shame faced, as tears started again.

“You don’t have to be strong. Especially not now. You’ve been so strong for so long, you can take a break.”

“I don’t want anyone else to see me like this… Please, please don’t tell anyone-“

“I won’t. I promise.”

Whumpee nods, sighing as they tried to wipe their eyes and pull themselves together.

“You can rest with me. If you want to be strong in front of everyone else, that’s okay, but behind closed doors, you can lean on me. I know you’re strong, even when you’re tired. I’ll never think any different.”

They looked up from their lap, their shoulders slumping and their entire body going limp. “Promise?”

“Promise.”

“Can you stay with me? Just for tonight?”

“Of course.”

[russellsppttemplates]

Reading once again all your Lance stuff because it's my favorite ones (I have pcos). Could you write one piece where she calls him with a 10 in her pain scale? I love seeing lance being so attentive and caring.

Note: I'm so happy that my pieces give you something to relate to and that they give you comfort, it's one of my favourite things about all of this 🤍 not actually happy for the reason you relate to them, but I hope you're doing well enough, sending you a tight hug ✨️🤍

Tw: painful periods, taking medication

"Call me if you need anything, or if anything changes, okay? We are going to the Olympic track", your boyfriend said, kissing your forehead sweetly before he grabbed his keys, wallet and phone, "thank you, I will. Have a nice session, tell Henry I say Hi!", you replied back, waving as he walked out of the door.

And as much as you didn't want to call him, the pain was too much and you couldn't even bring yourself to get up and grab your meds from the bathroom, reaching your phone and pressing Lance's contact, "hey sweetheart", you heard him pant, his breath the slightest bit audible as he was running, "are you alright? How bad is it?", he asked straight away. He knew you wouldn't have called if it wasn't something urgent, tapping Henry's shoulder so he would slow down and stop.

"It's a ten, especially around my back, I can barely move without feeling it and I can't reach my medications", you yelped, groaning as you tried to sit up, "and the wheatbag is cold, which is not helping", you sniffed, "I really didn't want to call y-", you were interrupted by your boyfriend, "I'm on my way home, sweetheart, I'll be there as soon as I can", he said, ending the call and running back to the car with Henry.

It took him about fifteen minutes to get home, "I'm here, I'm here", he said as he walked closer to you, your medication in his hand as you figured he probably stopped by the bathroom on his way to join you, "here, gorgeous", he said, opening the water bottle and helping you take a sip so you could swallow the pills, "thank you", you whispered, closing your eyes and letting it work. "It just got so bad, one minute I was really hot, then I felt really cold, and now I'm back to normal, but I was worried I would faint or something of the sort", you admitted, kissing his palm as he cupped your cheek softly.

Lance grabbed the wheatbag, going to the kitchen so he could reheat it, bringing it back with a mug of hot chocolate, "I know you don't want to eat, but the sugar in this will do you really good", he whispered, setting the mug on the table and placing the bag on your tummy, "has it kicked in yet?".

"It's working, I think. Either that or having you near me is the actual solution", you smiled, opening the blanket so Lance knew he could cuddle you, making him lie down as his hands rubbed circles on your belly, "I'm sorry you had to interrupt your workout", you said, "how did you get here so fast anyway?", you wondered.

"Instead of running on the trail, I asked Henry to run on the Olympic track. We were just going around in circles, but it meant that if you called, I was near the car and could get here quickly", he admitted, "you're the best, Lance", you kissed his jaw, feeling sleepy as he caressed your skin, finally feeling comfortable enough to rest properly, "just want to keep you comfortable, love, that's all".

A few hours later, you woke up from your nap, face snuggled in Lance's chest as you looked up at him, "are you feeling better?", he asked, "yes, it's like a four now, and that's doable", you smiled, reassuring him that it was fine.

"I've ordered your favourite dish from the Italian place we really like, and I asked Chloe to buy a tub of your favourite ice cream, she dropped by to leave it in the freezer, and we can watch a movie, or read a book, anything that makes you feel better, really", he said, making you smile ear to ear, "I love you Lance", you muttered, getting up so you could use the bathroom, smiling to yourself at how lucky you were to have him by your side.

[sungbeam]

𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐂𝐔𝐄 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐓𝐎𝐂𝐎𝐋 — teaser!

nonidol!kevin moon x f!reader

another summer break, another annual trip to the lake! except, it seems like when you and kev get there, you'll have to make some tweaks to the original rescue protocol.

▷ genre, teaser warnings. childhood friends 2 lovers, fluff, summer break au/college au, hurt/comfort, humor, implications of motherly meddling and matchmaking

▷ projected release date. october 10th/11th

▷ estimated word count. 20-26k

this is the sixth installment of the love in unity series! rescue protocol takes place after all the events of the main storyline, and you shouldn't need to read any prev fics to understand this one. any prev yns will be referred to as _!yn

a/n: i swear i'm (half) alive 🧍🏻‍♀️ but yeah, i've been punching out words lately and it's probably a bad idea to post this at the end of the weekend when no one will see it, but thank u again @justalildumpling for being my hypewoman ily

TEASER BELOW THE CUT (APPROX. 500 WORDS)

“It’s a warm morning out,” your mother murmured, then quickly added, “hey you.” She knocked her hand against your arm.

“Hm?” You asked as you finished up Alice’s braid and tied it off with the blue Cinnamoroll hair tie she’d chosen. You patted her back with your hand. “You’re done.”

Your little sister hopped to her feet. “Thanks!” She dashed away and out of the room—to where, you had no clue. You figured she knew where the food was if she was hungry.

You angled your body to squish your side against the couch cushions and face your mother. “What were you saying?”

“Ah, I was going to talk to you about the Joshua Hong boy.”

Joshua Hong. You didn’t realize you could hear a man’s name so often within twelve hours.

You made a gesture with your hand. “What about the Joshua Hong boy, Mom?”

“Well, isn’t he a handsome one?” She asked you enthusiastically, straightening. It was alarming how bright her face just got. “I spoke to his mom while Kevin and I were walking just now, and he’s only a few years older than you, you know.”

You heard a metaphorical record scratch. What? There was so much in that one sentence that you needed to unpack. You raised your hands to signal her to pause. “Wait, since when do you and Kevin take walks together?” What could they have been talking about? You knew Kevin was an exceptional conversationalist, but never in your time at the lake had you known of this interaction.

Your mother blinked. “Oh, we started the tradition when you didn’t come up with us that one year.”

“Tradition?” So this happened more than once? You didn’t know why you were so scandalized by this information—it was just Kevin after all. You knew your parents, and even your siblings, were all fond of him—of course they were. You were arguably even more fond of him, but that wasn’t the point. You hoped she hadn't said anything about you and him as an item at any point in time… you trusted that Kevin could handle that though; that was what the pact was for, after all.

“Why are you making such a big deal out of this?” She arched a brow. “But anyway, yes, so we bumped into Josh’s mom on the last leg around the lake, and she mentioned that he’s majoring in chemistry and planning to go into medicine. You guys might have something in common."

You pursed your lips. Perhaps the two of you might have something to talk about, but your track was pre-veterinary rather than pre-med. There was probably a middle ground though... Maybe you were just being stubborn.

“Just make friends or something,” she said to you while standing up from the couch. “You need more of those.”

Your eyes shot wide open. “Hello? Mom?” Now that was simply uncalled for.

She chuckled impishly as she walked away and disappeared down the hall, leaving you to yourself. You were lucky neither of the twins were here to hear that burn.

a/n: if i am being so fr i don't even really like the part i chose for this lol but i haven't written the juicy parts yet 🤕 so stay tuned pls ... haha

permanent taglist: @flwoie @vatterie @seomisaho @hqrana @ja4hyvn @tinkerbell460 @kaaimins @hyunjaespresent-deobi @otterly-fey @zzoguri @floatingpluto @winterchimez @ethereal-engene @gyulfriend @polarisjisung @jaehunnyy @shakalakaboomboo @loveliestfelix @bless-311 @zhaixiaowen @leaz-kpop-life @amourdsr @pxppxrminty @kqyutie @sseastar-main @kxthleen14 @fluorescentloves @mosviqu @justalildumpling @jaerisdiction @super-btstrash-posts @jundundun @http-gyu @mvvnsseul @outrologist @vernonburger @maessseongs @ericlvr

[woodsfae]

If you haven't had a hysterectomy, it's hard to even conceptualize how intense the recovery is. My doc says, in impact on the body, it's second only to open heart surgeries and limb amputations! (particularly when the cervix is removed, which mine was)

The weekend before my surgery, I mountain biked 35 miles. I was tired, sure. But fine. As my pain rose over the years, my physical activity didn't really drop. Instead, I just became more and more body-blind as I ignored higher and higher levels of pain to push through.

That isn't an option with recovering from a hysto. After my hysterectomy, my physical restrictions were: no bending/twisting/reaching at all. No lifting more than 10 pounds (I soon revised that down, because lifting even a gallon of milk hurt). I was instructed to spend most of my time in bed. To go for a few walks a day, but to get back into bed after my walks. Whenever I felt pain I was supposed to go lie down again, which meant that I didn't sit up for more than 45 minutes until I was nearly a month post-op. And total pelvic rest. I was supposed to disengage my core and back muscles as much as possible to let all the delicate things that got chopped n sewed together time to heal back up. None of my restrictions were lifted till I was 7 wks post op.

My partner took 100% care of me during this time. He lifted my legs in and out of bed. Laid me down and sat me up whenever I needed to adjust. In the first couple of days, he helped me onto and off the toilet, till I figured out how to get up without using my abs. He lowered me onto the couch and pulled me off. Took care of all the grocery shopping, cooking, and cleaning. He kept track of my meds, got up every few hours all night to get me my pain meds until I could sleep through the night without needing a dose. He did this all with such tenderness! Hugs, kisses, and he held me gently whenever I could be comfortably arranged to be held. He brought me coffee in bed every morning and helped me sit up, and fixed my pillows just so. I cannot express how meaningful this was to me. no one has ever taken care of me like this. Not even my own parents.

I have hyper-independence as a trauma response to my neglectful childhood, and in preparation for my surgery, I almost meditated on accepting help and not trying to do things myself. My doctor was very clear that my best outcomes for surgery were to not do anything but rest and go for walks! Partner was an enthusiastic support in that. He would gently chide me if I got myself out of bed or got myself dressed. He never made me feel like taking care of me was an imposition. He told me to have friends over as much as I wanted, but not to arrange a care rotation: he would take care of me.

The experience of being cared for so gently, so lovingly, so intentionally has rewired my brain. It has changed me, and I can't even quantify the hows and whys of it all yet.

There have been many unforeseen impacts of my hysto, but one of the most profound is that I know I am loved, I am loved, I am loved.

[rowdyhughesy]

Fighting with Mark Estapa that ends with cuddles

Struggles and cuddling - M.Estapa

I did definitely not take inspiration from myself and how I feel most days even if I take my meds🫡 (just wanna clarify that this doesn’t picture how ADD/ADHD is for everyone. It’s different for everyone, just because this is how my ADHD is some days it doesn’t mean everyone has these issues. It’s very individual so keep that in mind 🤍)

Working on my Drusk request but I haven’t figured out what direction I want to go in yet. hope you like it! ♡

Everyone has bad days, you might think some people never have a day in their life but they do. Today is one of your bad days. Living with ADHD is a daily struggle. Sadly Mark took the blame for the bad day caused by your disorder.

Your brain felt like mush, everything making it go into overdrive. It was harder than usual to separate your feelings and control them. This resulting in the ongoing argument with your boyfriend. You knew that it was your diagnosis making you feel so angry and frustrated. Tears were running down your face as the two of you screamed your irritation out. It had started off as something small, just a simple hint about how you yet again had forgotten about something small he had asked for your help in. The small comment making the time bomb inside you snap.

Mark was pacing back and forth in your living room, yourself standing in place. Hands pressed against the sides of your skull, it felt like war inside. “Just shut up! Please for the love of god can you shut up for a second. I can’t hear myself think.” Your voice is hoarse from all the yelling. Mark stops in his tracks, letting his gaze leave the floor to look up at you. He notices the expression on your face, a mix between frustrated and sad. The small face twitches and how you’re wringing your fingers in front of you and he knows.

“Baby, why didn’t you just tell me that your ADHD is hard today?” Mark looks at you with his big puppy eyes and you feel ashamed. When you first told Mark about your ‘problem’ and all the things he would need to know he assured you time and time again that when it’s harder than usual you would tell him. You didn’t this time. “I don’t know. I’m just so angry at myself today because nothing makes sense and I can’t stop my eyes from twitching cause of all the excess energy. I just want to take a nap but I know I have a lot of things to do but my body just stays frozen and I just want to break something because I get so frustrated.” He doesn’t say anything, opting to just lay down on your bed and opening his arms for you to lay down.

Letting out a defeated sigh you kick your shoes off and lay down on Marks chest. When you’ve settled in he wraps his arms around you, pressing a quick peck on your forehead. “Let’s just lay here for a bit. We can watch your favourite show and just not move until tomorrow. I know it usually helps when you have days like today.” Flashing Mark a small appreciative smile you nuzzle your face against his neck breathing in the smell of his body wash and the faded smell of his cologne.

[kybercrystals94]

You Can Trust Me

By KyberCrystals94

Read here on Ao3!

Whumptober 2023|Day 2|Prompt:Delirium

Bad Things Happen Bingo|Prompt:Mind Games

Rating: T

(CW: non consensual drug use)

Words: 1,282

Summary: Captured and drugged, Tech struggles to grasp reality.

TECH

General Skywalker’s voice calls over the din of blaster fire, “Tech, open that door for Rex!”

“Yes, sir!” Tech responds instantly, darting across the open to the sealed entrance. After a moment, Rex is at his shoulder, exchanging rounds with the enemy, covering Tech as he splices into the system. This feels familiar, Tech thinks distantly, the door sliding open at his hacked instruction.

Tech scans the room. This is where the signal came from. Echo has to be here, if there is any physical form of Echo to find at all. Tech approaches a large cylindrical contraption inset within the wall, sleek and awful. Familiar...why is this familiar? His scan shows that something warm-blooded and alive is tucked inside. A heavy, knotted thing forms in his stomach. “I don’t like the look for this. I’m definitely picking up a life-form in there. It seems to be a stasis chamber.”

Rex approaches the device like it might lash out. Tech cannot see the reg captain’s facial expression because of the helmet, but his body language practically screams trepidation.

Tech goes to the controls, glancing over them briefly to familiarize himself. “I think I can get it open.” His mind processes faster than even his fingers can move, but within seconds, the chamber is hissing as it unseals, icy vapor billowing from the now open hatch. A figure falls forward, grey – almost bloodless – skin stretched thin over sharp bones. Despite his shrunken structure, familiar clone eyes stare out, open but unseeing, flitting rapidly.

Echo...Tech thinks, horror stuttering his thoughts. I know him...he’s my friend. Why do I know him?

Rex’s voice rallies Tech back. The man is holding Echo stable so that his body isn’t pulling against the tubes and wires literally latched into the broken frame of their brother. “Tech, we got to get him out of here. Figure out how to unplug him from...from this mess!” Rex is lowering Echo to the ground, holding him in his arms, whispering words Tech can’t hear.

But Tech wants to comfort Echo too, feels as though he needs to rush to his side, hold him companionably as Rex is doing now. This isn’t right. This isn’t how it happened. I didn’t know Echo before Skako Minor...I shouldn’t remember this. It hasn’t happened yet. Something is wrong.

Suddenly, Echo is gasping, eyes now seeing but wild with panic. It sounds like he’s suffocating.

“What’s happening to him?” Rex cries, pulling Echo up against him, “Do something, Tech! What is wrong with him?”

Tech falls next to them with his med scanner, his hands are shaking so badly he can barely get a reading. Echo is dying. His body is shutting down. He isn’t going to make it.

No...this isn’t what happened. This isn’t how it happened! Echo is fine. He’s going to join the Batch, he’s going to be my brother...he can’t die.

Echo’s frantic gaze meets Tech’s, a single tear tracking down the ashen skin of his cheek. “Tech,” he gasps, the word barely taking shape in his shallow, choking breaths. “It’s going to be okay. Can you hear me, Tech?” The words are garbled but distantly clear, like hearing a voice through water. “Tech?”

Tech shakes his head. He doesn’t understand what’s happening. This shouldn’t be happening.

With one last, gargled breath, Echo says, “Tech,” and his body goes still.

Tech reaches out, but he can’t bring himself to touch the dead form of his friend, his brother, his confidant. This isn’t right. We saved him. We saved him!

ECHO

The cell door is easy to hack, almost an insult to security systems, but Echo doesn’t have time to relish the ease with which he scomps in and undoes the lock. The door opens and Echo steps inside. He instantly finds Tech, curled in the corner, arms folded over his face protectively.

Echo taps his comm. “Hunter, I found Tech. Sending our location now. I’ll need help getting him back to the Marauder.”

Echo doesn’t wait for a response, rushing to his youngest brother. He kneels and puts a hand on Tech’s arm. “Tech,” he says, alarmed when his voice causes Tech to flinch and pull away from his touch. “It’s going to be okay. Can you hear me, Tech? Tech?” As gently as he can, he pries Tech’s arms away from his face. “Tech,” he says again when he sees that Tech’s eyes are open, his face frozen in an expression of displacement.

Tech’s eyes gloss over him with a look of stricken uncertainty. “Echo?” he whispers.

“Yeah,” Echo says, pulling off his helmet. “Are you alright? Do you remember what happened?”

Tech doesn’t seem to hear him or comprehend the question. He scrambles to a sitting position, reaching out his hands. Echo resists the urge to recoil in surprise when Tech begins to trace his face with trembling fingers. Then they fall to grip Echo’s cuirass. “You’re really here?” Tech breathes the question on an exhale, his familiar tone tattered with fraught emotion.

“I’m here, brother,” Echo says, resting his flesh hand against the back of Tech’s neck, pulling him forward until their foreheads press together.

“You’re real?” Tech reiterates, the words barely audible.

But Echo hears them. “I’m real. You’re safe.”

Tech’s resolve crumbles then, and he begins to sob, clutching to Echo like Echo will simply melt away if he lets go. “I’m sorry,” Tech cries. “I’m so sorry.”

Echo moves his arms around Tech, embracing him, holding him steady. He hushes him soothingly. “Don’t apologize. It’s not your fault. None of this is your fault. Hunter should be here soon, and we’ll go back to the Marauder. We’ll get off this karking planet and never come back.”

Tech nods, tears leaking from under his goggles, and Echo holds him tighter. He hopes that Tech can’t feel the thunder of his heart under his armor. He isn’t sure what the drug made Tech see or believe, but what if there is residual damage even after they flush the toxin from his system? PTSD doesn’t sit well with the Kaminoans. While the Batch has done a decent job of hiding Echo’s…what if Tech’s is different?

Don’t think like that. Tech hasn’t even been treated yet, he reminds himself.

“Here,” Echo says, pulling back, but Tech clings to him almost aggressively, refusing to loosen his grip for even a moment. “Let’s sit against the wall. We’ll be more comfortable.”

Tech considers, breaths still hitching in gasps. “Yes,” he agrees after a moment, allowing Echo to shift and sit beside him. Once Echo has settled, Tech burrows under his arm. He feels smaller, somehow, in this state. Like a child. It reminds Echo of Ashoka, back when she would find herself tucked into Rex’s side after a particularly difficult mission.

“How’re you feeling,” Echo asks when he notices that Tech’s breathing has evened out a little.

Tech pushes himself impossibly closer into Echo’s side. Echo can’t imagine it’s comfortable with his cybernetics and armor jammed against Tech’s ribs; however, maybe that is the grounding Tech needs to know that this is real. “I don’t understand,” Tech says in a soft voice, “On Skako Minor...I couldn’t save you. You died. How are you here?”

“But you did save me, vod’ika,” Echo says gently, “I’m okay. I’m here and I’m real. You were captured and given a drug that causes hallucinations and extreme emotional distress. It’s taking your memories and contorting them.”

Tech shudders. “Then how do I know this is real?”

Echo considers for a moment. “Because I know it is, and you can trust me, Tech’ika. Everything is going to be okay.”

END

End Notes:

vod'ika = little sibling

Tech'ika = affectionate nickname for Tech (like saying 'Little Tech')

[exhaustedbunnytm]

Brain Out of Order

It is frightening how much my memory has been effected the last few weeks. And the brain fog on top of it is not helping.

I can not keep my shit together. I constantly forget things I need to do and forget to look at my To Do list I keep to not forget. The list isn’t helpful if I forget about the list.

I am constantly late to things, I can not keep my calendar or remember if I have to be somewhere. I am so scared to commit going anywhere or doing anything with people out of fear Ill forget. I used to be the chronically 20 minutes early person and now I am the chronically 15 minutes late person. I hate it. I never wanted to be the always late person, even when i try to leave an hour early I end up 15 minutes late.

I can not keep track of my phone notifications, messages, keeping in touch with people, I can’t keep track. Some of the break from notifications is nice, but it can also be isolating.

I forget to pick up my meds at the pharmacy, or forgot that I picked them up but can not find them in the apartment. My partner finds them most of the time. I sent him to the pharmacy yesterday to pick up meds I already picked up 2 weeks ago…

All of those things I can mostly deal with the frustration from myself and others. My friends and family say they understand and are giving me some slack with these things because they see the complete 180 from how I used to be and I can tell they are worried. I appreciate their grace and they are just happy that I show up. It still doesn’t make it hurt any less as I grieve the me before.

But what is starting to really freak me out the most is I am unable to keep track of finances. I can not remember what bills I paid and when even though I write on the bill that info, and I keep a log but forget to keep the log, or I can’t remember where I put the bills. I can not keep track of how much I have spent of my allotted budget for the month. I can’t figure out where my money is going. I am definitely over spending (not to a danger point, but still should not be left without addressing). My system doesn’t work anymore, I am trying to find a new system. I keep trying to look at them and get everything back in check and I just get confused and overwhelmed. Nothing makes sense. But my finances are so simple for the most part, I should not be feeling like I am trying to balance my books that mysteriously turned into another language.

I feel like a toddler who just learned how to count to 5 trying to do calculus. I love math, I used to find immense pleasure and joy balancing my checkbook and doing my finances. Something I used to enjoy is now something that causes instant dread and overwhelms me with emotions and stress, which makes everything worse.

I am the keeper of the finances in my household, I can not give that responsibility to my partner. There are many reasons why I have to be the finances person of the relationship. And now this is worrying me. I need to keep the finances together. I can not afford to pay someone to help me.

I am organized, I am a color-coded, alphabetized, spreadsheet goblin, and now I can barely keep anything together.

I hope that this is just a bad brain month and maybe my future brain will be better, but it seems to just keep getting worse. I continue to remain hopeful, late, but hopeful.

Any suggestions or recommendations to help keep my shit together would be appreciated…

[idontplaytrack]

Scared

Jos Cleary-Lopez x fem! reader

Warnings: hospital setting, hospitalisation, surgical procedure mentions, vomiting descriptions, anxiety

In which, reader finally gets on the right track to an answer for her pain but then she’s faced with a great fear of hers.

You’ve never seen Jos this scared. It was difficult to scare Jos— and in fact, difficult was an understatement. It was impossible. But the one thing that could make her feel this way? Seeing you in pain. She would then feel so, very helpless. You were curled up in her bed, literally writhing as you felt the sharp pain in your abdomen for the third time that hour. Jos watched you, terrified that you were experiencing such intense symptoms this time. This was not your typical flare up.

“Babe, I’m gonna get my Mom to take us to the ER, alright?”

“No.” You shot her down immediately.

“We’re going.” Jos insisted, “Mom!” She jogs to her Mom’s room, “y/n needs to go to the hospital…”

That’s all you heard before her voice died down. You gave up resisting and just went with the flow— nothing else was going on in your head then getting through the waves of pain. You had no idea how you got into the car, but you were in the back laying down with your head on Jos’ lap while Margot drove. You vaguely remember Jos just lifting you up while your arms hung around her neck lazily. Or was it Margot? No, it had to be Jos…you smelled her perfume and saw her necklace. Your train of thought was suddenly interrupted by another wave of pain that caused you to cry out. “Breathe, baby. I got you, it’s okay.” Jos reminded, “How far away are we?”

“About twenty.” Margot answers, glancing at the rear-view mirror, “I’m going as fast as I can. Hang in there, okay, sweetheart?”

You didn’t know about that- every single bump on the road had tears pricking at your eyes. You later learnt that Margot was certain that you had appendicitis, but with your lack of a fever and what you presented with during the physical examination, the doctors were seemingly freaked out— they didn’t show it, but it was prevalent that your case baffled them. Your symptoms didn’t fit this condition or that disease. They had no clue what to do with you.

“You did an x-ray, right? And that showed nothing. But you touched the area and you felt something- so something is there. Give her a different kind of imaging, then.” Margot urged the doctor who was typing away on the desktop, “She is clearly in a lot of pain and threw up in the waiting room. I do not care how much it will cost me, just figure it out. Not for me, but for her. If you refuse, please- put that down on her file so that the next time we see a doctor, they won’t jump the gun and dismiss her for being an addict.”

Jos sat with you, Margot did the talking because you just couldn’t form a proper sentence. The pain had consumed you. And yet, the doctors weren’t keen in heeding Margot’s advice. “You are a doctor. Help your patient instead of leaving her in the lurch. It’s not normal for her to be experiencing this much pain when she usually gets a flareup.”

“We will admit her to do an MRI scan. Then depending on results, the next step will be decided appropriately.”

“Good.”

So then, later that evening, you were sat in a hospital bed hooked up to an IV that was pumping you with pain medication. Jos sat in a plastic chair beside the bed, just looking at you. “Are you okay?”

“Oh.” Jos blinked profusely, “Yeah, it’s just been a long day. Get some sleep, babe.”

“You can go home, you know.” You told her, resting your back against the top half of the bed that was angled almost 90-degrees upright, “You don’t have to sit here and wait with me.”

“It’s good to see you like your usual self again.” She cracked a smile, “I just want to keep you company. It’s terrifying being in this environment alone and I know it— don’t argue with me about it. I wanna stay with you, alright?”

“Yeah, all thanks to whatever meds they’re giving me.” You allowed yourself to laugh. Jos reached for your hand and held onto it tightly, pressing a loving kiss to it. “We’ll figure this out, okay?”

“I know, it’s just…it always takes them so long to listen to me.”

“Which is terrible, but we’re here now and we’re on the right track.” She assured, “I’ll be here for you no matter what. It scared me earlier to see you in so much pain, but we got this. Okay? You got this.”

You didn’t exactly give her a response, but Jos could tell from your body language that you were listening. Your MRI was scheduled for the next morning at 8:30 and you couldn’t eat anything for at least eight hours before. So…you had about two hours before you had to stop eating. “Do you want something to eat? You still have some time before they said you had to stop.”

“Sure?”

“Mom bought it earlier while we stilll waiting for you to get a bed, but— you have a couple options. A turkey ham and cheese sandwich, or an egg salad sandwich. Or pulled pork wrap.”

You picked the ham and cheese sandwich and just quietly nibbled on it while Jos distracted you with a chat. Halfway through, she pours you a cup of water from the jug that they provided. “Thanks.” You brought the cup to your lips and took a few sips. Jos smiles at you before she resumed eating.

“How’re you feeling?”

“Now that I can think more clearly…I uh, I’m just scared that they’ll tell me that the ‘lump’ has grown in size. They don’t know what it is yet, and I’m honestly terrified. Why can’t they just cut me open and take it out? It’s been three months. And they’re still just calling it a lump. I don’t understand it, what it is…what I can do to help myself.”

“That’s what we’re here to find out. We’re not gonna leave until they figure it out.”

Jos knew you hated being here, but it was necessary. Your last hospitalisation had you being poked and prodded more times than either of you could count and you’ve since then developed a fear of needles.

————

You and Jos have just celebrated a year together when you first started having the pain. Initially, you brushed it off as a typical stomachache or gas pains. But, it worsened day by day and that was how the hospital has seemingly become your second home. You counted yourself as lucky, because without Margot, you would not be in this hospital bed right now waiting for an MRI scan. What were the doctors gonna do? Go against the mayor?

Because of the Power, you had to be sedated for the procedure since without it, what happened to Jos when she had an MRI to figure out what the new organ was, would damn well happen to you. It was still possible, but it lowered the risk greatly. Of course, they said that the scan wouldn’t be done if it weren’t absolutely necessary. In your case, it was. Especially after what another doctor had realised about ‘the lump’ and called it one that was ‘in your muscles’. You weren’t paying too much attention— you were so out of it. And the pain medication made you seriously drowsy. You were literally fighting sleep just to eat something before you slept.

“Yeah, I’ll be staying here with her. You’ll be back tomorrow morning before she has to go down for the scan, right, Mom?”

“Get some sleep. Both of you. And yes, of course I will be there. I have to be there because her parents are out of town and I also promised. So please, don’t worry about that and just worry about getting rested.”

“Okay, see you in the morning, Mom. She’s out like a light. I’m gonna turn in too. Good night.”

“Good night, sweetheart.”

Jos slept in a recliner that night, thankfully —peacefully. Even with nurses coming in every hour or so to check your vitals. The events of the day have really worn the two of you out. Margot came by early next morning while you were still asleep. Jos had already woken up for a little while, the nurse had also just came by for one last check. Then, you woke up. “Good morning.” Jos and Margot greeted you, almost in unison.

“The doctor will be by in a minute to explain the procedure again before they bring her downstairs.”

Jos and Margot followed you down to the MRI suite. Then left after you were completely under. Margot took Jos out for breakfast while they waited for you to be done. It usually took an hour— according to the doctor. But since you were sedated, it’d take some more time since you would have to he held in a recovery area so they could monitor you after the anaesthesia.

“She’ll be okay, Jos.”

“I know. Thanks to you.” Jos bit back a laugh, “It just sucks to see her like this now. She can’t do so much of what she used to love and still has to keep her grades up. She’s really trying her best but sometimes I can just tell she’s struggling.”

“She has a great support system. But of course, you…you mean the most to her. I know it’s daunting to have to step up and be her caregiver on days like these ones, but your Dad and I are always here. Don’t hesitate to come to us for help with anything— I’m serious.”

Jos nodded solemnly, “Thanks, Mom.”

As if on cue, Margot receives a call from the hospital. Jos looks at her hopefully. “She came through it great, and she’s already awake and asking for you.”

“Oh, thank goodness.” Jos heaved a sigh of relief.

————

Jos was the first one to step back into your hospital room and immediately gave you a hug. “Hi, love.” She rubs your back, “Hi. You’re okay, baby.” Despite being warned by the side effects of anaesthesia, Jos was still a little shocked by your crying and overall ‘loopiness’.

“She woke up with nausea so it’ll likely stay for the duration until it wears off completely.” The nurse warned, “She was given a medication to counter that effect but it still happens with some patients. So—”

You roughly pulled away from Jos, swallowing harshly as you made eye contact with your nurse. She calmly grabbed the emesis bucket and handed it to Jos, who was nearer to you. And Jos just stuck it under your chin to catch the spillage, as if on reflex. “You’re fine, baby. Don’t look at it, don’t look at it.”

While they took care of the bucket, you just laid back down and shut your eyes…not caring about anything else. A doctor came in a little later to check on you, but you didn’t remember it. You could only remember yourself nearly throwing up on the doctor. Which was painfully embarrassing but you didn’t have the energy to care, still feeling the drowsiness. “The scan showed a tumor on the left side of her lower abdomen- in the muscle wall. It has grown somewhat since we last saw her, but regardless, she’ll need to go for a biopsy to determine what we’re dealing with…”

That’s what you heard before drifting back to sleep with Jos holding your hand and squeezing it.

When you woke up again, you were discharged from hospital and given a prescription for stronger pain meds— the one that they gave you intravenously and made you very sleepy. Again, Margot was driving. This time back to their house. Her Dad and siblings said hi to you but quickly left you alone so you could rest. Jos helped you take a shower before letting you sleep. “Do you still feel like you might get sick?”

“A little.” You admit, leaning your head back to let the warm water run through your hair.

“We’ll put a bin right beside the bed, okay?” Jos promised, “I’ll stay with you till you feel better.”

“Jos, don’t be crazy. Just get on with your day, have dinner with your family.”

She chuckles, “Crazy? Yeah, I love you like crazy.”

You cracked a smile, not saying anything else while she helped you wash up. “I don’t know what I’d do without you, Jos.”

“Me neither. Can’t imagine a life without you.” She wraps her arms around you from behind briefly, “I know some days are very hard and seem like there’s no light at the end of the tunnel, but I will always be here to do whatever it takes to make you feel better. Because life is so worth it, and isn’t all just about the bad days. It can be pretty sweet too. We just have to learn…hammer down a routine and stick to it when we need to.”

“Thank you. For being right by my side. I’m sorry I scared you.”

“Don’t be silly.” She laughed lightly, the sound like music to your ears, “I’m okay now, don’t even worry about that. Just needed some time to process it all. Don’t ever apologise for feeling what you need to feel.”

“I love you.” You say, a soft sigh falls from your lips.

“I love you more.” Jos answered, turning you around to press a kiss to your lips.

“I love you even more.” You insisted.

Jos plants a kiss on your temple, grinning, “Oh, I love you the most.”

🏷️ Tag list: @auliisflower @ludoesartnstuffs @reneeswif3

[starliights-shining]

Heey, I've already read some of ur stories and wowzers..its amazing!!

Could I request a armada or Cybertron red alert? If u do NSFW can u? But its okay if ur rules are not allowed for NSFW! ":)

a possessive medic isn't bad and so,, but take ur time with it please! Don't rush and make sure to take care of urself! :)

Hello, Thank you for enjoying my stories! I hope you're having a wonderful day, and taking care of yourself as well. I’m not sure if you wanted the reader to be cybertronian or human, so for this the reader will be human, but if you’d like i can redo it with a cybertronian reader. Once again this can be read for any Red Alert.

Pairing: Red Alert x Female!Reader

Warnings: NSFW, Female reader,

You spent most of your time with Red Alert, whether it being with him in the med bay, or with him in your private quarters. So realistically there is no need for Red Alert to be so possessive over you. Until today, you spent a little too much time laughing and joking with Hot Shot, He leaned against the table you sat at. He looked around before he spoke to you. 

“We can get outta here and I can show you how fast I really am.” 

He spoke in a low tone, almost like he didn’t want anyone to hear, but as much as you loved hanging out with Hot Shot, you had to go find the medic. 

“No thank you Hot Shot. I think it’s time I finally hit the hay.” 

You were trying to be nice, you liked Hot Shot but he was more of a friend then he is a lover, and as many times he hit on you and you’ve declined you’d think he’d get it. You walked towards the last known location of Red Alert, the med bay. The simple swooshing of the door opening, you stepped in looking around. Looking for the striking blue helm of the bot, but with your luck he was not in the med bay. Maybe he’s in the control room, might be talking with Optimus about some fancy new technology that only himself would know how to work.

You wandered the halls of the autobot base, taking the long way to the control room. Empty halls with random rooms, and dust collecting in corners you didn’t even know existed. You figured you’d run into some bot in one of these back halls, but it felt like hours of walking before you finally found a turn. Taking the turn in hopes of getting back on track, but you were suddenly pulled into a room. The lights off, and god knows who pulled you in there. The silence between the two of you was deafening, and the sound of your own heartbeat was getting loud as it picked up in pace. What if it wasn’t a bot, what if Starscream got in, no no no he would have spoken by now. A servo reaches for your waist from behind, and the familiar presence behind you. He was pulling you into him, your back pulled against his front. You relaxed, leaning into him. He leaned down, placing his helm on your shoulder, His chin propping his head up as it rested against the side of your head. You heard him intake, slowly before speaking. 

“How was your day?” 

The question was simple, but it felt ominous, like there was another meaning. His grip tightened when you took longer to respond. 

“It was a day, I just spent it minding my business.” 

He hummed in response, he moved to give your neck a kiss. Tightening his grip on your waist once more and pulling you back harsher. 

“Is that all Sweetspark?” 

“Yeah,” 

You paused, you didn’t want to bring up Hot Shot or the fact he was flirting with you, but with the way he's acting, you’d guess he already knows. 

“Nothing about Hot Shot.”

His kisses were going from your neck to your shoulder and then back up, he paused his actions. The simple kisses stopped as he felt your body figure out how to respond. 

“No nothing at all.” 

You lied, at this point you figured he already knew what happened with Hot Shot, he just wanted to see if he could get it out of you. He placed one more kiss on your neck before you felt him pulling you farther into the room, you back meeting what felt like a countertop or table. You felt Red Alert trap you between the table and his front. His servo meets your waist once again. 

“Now, you don’t have to lie to me (Y/N)” 

“I’m not” 

You paused, you thought about trying to turn this around and just telling him. You can feel his servo move from your waist to your stomach and down, slowly, extremely slowly. As his servos traveled, you closed your eyes, a gaspy breath left your mouth when he stopped at the buttons on your pants.

“What? Getting all nervous, you could tell me what happened earlier. I wont take so long to get where you want me.” 

He was bargaining, he wanted to hear you say it. The same words, was it really worth it tho. What was Red Alert planning? Your thoughts were scattered, trying to figure out if you tell him or not, and if you do tell him what are the consequences? You remembered the last time something like this happened. Some guy working with you and Professor Suzuki at the time decided he wanted your number, and before you left, right in front of the Autobot medic himself, He asked for your number with some sappy pickup line. The entire night after the incident you were left with Red Alerts digits and spike buried inside yourself, with no release.

 With the thought of the last time something like this happened, you took a deep breath and told him. Simply because who knew what he’d do, since the one flirting with you was another Cybertronian.

“Fine,” 

The pause was long as you looked up at Red through your eyelashes.

“Hot Shot said, " We can get outta here and I can show you how fast I really am.” 

WHen quoting what the bot said to you earlier, your tone softened, almost ashamed, you didn’t want to admit what he said. 

The intake from Red Alert was almost alarming, it was slow but deep. Almost like he had held his breath for too long. He leaned his forehead against yours. 

“Now, what's so hard, Sweetspark.” 

The silence fell fast, his servo went back to action, unbuttoning your pants and then diving digits first into your pussy. Not a stop, not a warning, nothing. 

“I’m afraid you've forgotten who you belong to, and I’d like to remind you of it.” 

The feeling of circles being rubbed into your clit and the occasional swirl from there to your entrance, felt like heaven. Yeah you could at any moment ask him to just simply fuck you, but something about the way he handled you when he was possessive. His digits got you too close to release. You grabbed his arm, with a plea to not stop. Shortly after the plea he stopped his actions, a loud whine leaving in the place of a moan. 

“Not so fast, yeah. It took you a lil too long to tell me what Hot Shot said. Only fair I get my fun outta this.” 

He was toying with you. You watched the smirk appear on his face plate, he was enjoying watching you crumble. You knew what you had gotten yourself into, but for some reason you weren’t ready. 

“Let's start again, yeah.” 

He fully pulled your pants off, the feeling of being trapped no longer a problem. He picked you up and put you on the table behind you. Kissing you as his servo went back to business. The attention given to you clit, had you riding the edge again. HIs lips captured yours, as two digits entered your pussy. Your gaps and breathy whimpers quickly turned into moans, loud moans. You had the decency to try and quit them, but when Red Alert noticed your hand come up to your mouth he stopped everything he was doing to you. Pulling your hand off your mouth. 

“No no no, you don’t get to be quiet.” 

He pulled you off the table, turning you around and bending you over it. The familiar sound of the spike plating being opened as he aligned himself with you. Rubbing the tip of his spike up and down your slit, then pushing it in fully. 

You were never one for being too loud, but this time you could be quiet. Your moans started once again, louder as he drilled his spike in you. His servos occasionally slap on your ass. 

“Yeah, be louder. Let everyone know who you belong to.” 

The noises from the little room you both were in were pornographic, and god did he fuck you good. The knot in your stomach kept getting tighter and tighter. 

“Red!” 

You were gasping for air between both the moans and words you were trying to let out. 

“Oh god, I'm gonna cum Red!” 

You were getting desperate, the knott and fuzzy feeling in the bottom of your stomach was getting unbearable. Your desperate moans and the way the knot turned with each thrust and grunt he let out. 

“Please Red,” 

Your begging was short lived, as the bot grabbed your hips harsher with no intention to stop. 

“Nope, not until I tell you.” 

In one swift motion he pulls out and flips you on your back. He grabs one of your legs and throws it over his shoulder. The same harsh grip on your waist as he plugins his spike right back to where it was originally. His speed is quicker and sloppier, you could tell he was close to finishing as well. You thought you’d give your pleas one more time. 

“Red,” 

He thrusts harshly into you, you lose your breath. 

“Please, Red.” 

“Please what, (Y/N)” 

His tone is harsh, harsher than it was when he told you no to finish. 

“Please I wanna cum. I’ll do anything.” 

He smirks, reaching his servo up to move your hair out of your face. 

“I wanna see that pretty face when you cum on my spike. Wanna hear you moan my name” 

His thrust seems to be getting harder by the second, but with the same sloppy movement it tells you. 

“Let everyone in the Autobot Base, who the hell you belong to!” 

That was the last push you needed. The knot in your stomach brusted, and with your eyes squeezed shut you finished all over the mechs spike. Not even a second after Red Alert follows suit. The feeling of his transfluid filling you up. 

He stands there, allowing you both time to come down from your highs. 

“Sweetspark?” 

He calls out to you, you open your eyes to see the bot leaned over you. His signature red visor looking at you, you can feel the worry through it. 

“Are you okay?” 

You laugh pulling his helm in for a kiss. 

“Never better.” 

He nervously laughs back at you. His nerdy medic personality comes back in seconds. You smiled at him as he got ready to start moving again. 

“Let's get you taken care of, Sweetspark.” 

[carmillatism]

hello! i hope this ask finds you well <3

i’m just looking for a bit of advice and i saw one of your posts about being disabled so i figured i might ask;

(to preface: i am not disabled) but sometimes my right hip does a weird thing and hurts for a bit on and off and i can’t really walk (my hips have always been weird - they pop really easily and hurt if i lay down on them for too long) and i was curious if you might have advice on how to deal with that? (though granted i don’t actually know what kind of physical disability you have so this might just be headed out into the aether)

(sorry if this is the wrong blog to ask!)

hello! sorry for getting back so late; i had school! and yes, you came to the right place! want to preface this with a disclaimer by saying i'm not a professional, and i recommend you talk with a doctor if possible. i also recommend doing your own research as i don't know you like you know you!

that aside, i have pots and hsd, both which cause me chronic pain. hsd, or hypermobikity spectrum disorder, causes me chronic joint pain. and good for you, my most common place of pain is in my hips, so i have a lot of experience with what your describing.

my biggest recommendation, other than talking with a doctor, is for you to try and stay off of it when it hurts. you can also apply heat or cold (with an ice pack, heating pad, etc.) to the area that hurts. that usually makes me feel better. i also recommend taking otc (over-the-counter) pain meds. take the dose it tells you to take, and that will usually help soothe the pain!

i also recommend that you keep your mind open to the idea that you could be disabled. if this pain is pretty common for you (as in it happens a couple times a week) and has lasted for at least 3 months with common occurrences, then it's considered chronic pain. if you have chronic pain, you are disabled. ofc i don't know you and can't say for certain! but keeping your mind open to the idea can help you more easily make that transition in the future if you are diagnosed with a disability or your symptoms become disabilitating.

i also recommend getting a cane if possible! canes help a lot with getting weight off of the leg that's hurting, thus allowing the pain to decrease. do not worry about "faking" being disabled. if you need a cane to lessen the pain you feel whilst walking or to support your walking, then use it! you would use your left (opposite of hurt leg) hand for the cane. you don't have to get one, of course, but they are a pretty cheap investment if you get them at a pharmacy or online, and they are extremely helpful.

but again, i can't recommend it anymore for you to see a medical professional. what you are describing sounds similar to my experiences with chronic pain, plus having pain flareups for seemingly no reason pretty consistently along with your hip feeling out of place or popping out of place, sounds like something to bring up to your doctor. based on the limited symptoms you gave, i recommend looking into heds, hypermobile ehlers-danlos syndromes (plus the other versions of eds), or hsd (which is what i have. both are hypermobility from a connective tissue disorder that causes a slew of symptoms, but a major one is joint instability and chronic pain. hsd is sort of a different part of the spectrum of eds, or just a different but similar disorder (scientists really don't know)).

some good medical websites that i use a lot for info on my own health as well as my medical science interst are the cleveland clinic, the nhs website, and mayo clinic. these have digestible pages of information about many different disorders and problems.

i also recommend keeping a list of your symptoms that don't seem entirely normal or healthy. also, keeping a journal of your pain flares and describing when and why it happens can help you track it and see if it worsens or gets better. i also recommend using these to look into possible disorders that you may have. advice given for any type of similar disorders with symptoms similar to yours (or that you might have) can greatly benefit you if you want more advice!

if you have any more questions you can dm me, use my ask box again, or ask someone else for another point of view! talking about it with many different people can give you many different and helpful perspectives that can help you figure out what's going on. i wish you all the best!