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arieslost · 3 months

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sky full of stars | ln4

summary: dj!lando always plays your song when you’re at the club.

word count: 3,615

warnings: drinking

masterlist — join my tag list here!

2021

You did not want to be in this club. You would need another pair of hands and feet to count off all the places you’d rather be, the very first one being asleep in your bed.

But here you were, not only in the club, but within a throng of people at varying levels of fucked up, jumping around and dancing to the song pounding through the speakers. Your comforts were twofold: the first was knowing that you could handle the two shots in your system, and the second was that your best friend was the designated driver tonight, so there was no way in hell she was going to leave without you.

Frankly, you’d been ready to leave an hour ago. In fact, you’d started saying the words, “I want to go home” when you caught a glimpse of the DJ in charge of tonight’s music. Granted, it was hard to really look at him considering the fact that the lights were low and you were on the other end of the club, but you’d seen just enough to know that he was attractive and any thought of leaving had gone right out the window. Not to mention the fact that he hadn’t said anything when he started his set, so you didn’t even know what his voice sounded like.

You needed a closer look.

So here you were, surprisingly enjoying yourself on the dance floor while you tried to check him out without being overly conspicuous. You were only able to make out a head of curly hair and the large hand that lifted a shot glass to his lips when your phone started ringing, the buzz in your pocket the only indication thanks to the blaring music. You squinted at the screen, thinking it might be your friend trying to find you, but the caller ID read “Potential Spam,” so your phone went right back into your pocket. You were on a mission.

When you looked up, you made direct eye contact with the man of the hour– the DJ you found nothing short of infatuating. You were rather close to his setup, maybe ten people away, but you could feel his gaze on you as he picked up a microphone.

“This next song is dedicated to the gorgeous woman I’m looking at right now,” he announced to the whole room, sending a wink in your direction before getting to work on fading the current song into the new one– “A Sky Full of Stars” by Coldplay.

You felt goosebumps rising on your arms as the first few notes filled the room, suddenly glad that you were here and not at home, asleep. The lights moved in tandem to the beat of the song, and you finally got a proper look at his face. It’s then that you knew you were screwed, because if he wasn’t the most attractive man you’d ever seen in your life, you’d be lying.

You barely had any time to pull yourself together before he was motioning for one of his friends to take over for him and stepping down from the booth into the crowd, making a beeline right for where you stood in the middle of it all.

“You’re awfully bold,” you said when he was close enough to hear you, a bit taken aback by how quickly he’d closed the distance between the two of you. “What makes you think I like this song?”

He didn’t answer at first, instead choosing to slowly run his hand down your arm until his fingers tangled with yours. “You have goosebumps, and I’d be shocked if you didn’t like it. When I played it last time, you came up to me and tried to take the mic so you could sing it to everyone.”

That’s another reason why you never made a habit out of going to the club. Somehow, it always got to the point where you lost your mind a little bit and somehow managed to find new ways to make an idiot out of yourself. But tonight was different– you were managing your alcohol intake, and the hot DJ was calling you out on something you’d been too drunk to remember the next morning.

Your friends hadn’t though; in fact, they’d been gracious enough to provide video proof of them dragging you away from the DJ booth. You’d never felt such shame as you did watching that back.

“Don’t be embarrassed,” he said, his free hand tilting your chin up so he could look right at you as he spoke. “It’s how I noticed you in the first place. I haven’t been able to take my eyes off of you since.”

At least one good thing came out of my foolishness, you thought to yourself as he took your other hand and put both of your arms around his neck. It made sense, anyway– you definitely would’ve remembered seeing him before had you been sober.

“I’m not a very good dancer,” you warned him as he began to sway to the music, taking you along with him as his hands went down to your hips.

“Neither am I,” he confided, lips close to your ear.

The chorus began, the song’s beat drop making the lights change from red to blue, and you decided that you would let this happen, even if it turned into another embarrassing memory. At least you would remember this time, and you’d never forget swaying back and forth with the handsome DJ as the rest of the crowd danced around you both.

2022

You were in the club again, and you couldn’t imagine being anywhere else. Spending so much time with your favorite DJ, Lando Norris, will do that to you. After that first dance, he bought you a couple drinks and didn’t go back to the DJ booth for the rest of the night due to you dragging him right back out into the crowd and dancing with him until your feet hurt too much to stand. Eventually, your best friend had found you and told you it was time to go, and in your tipsy state you’d kept your arms firmly around Lando, said something about “holding him hostage,” and vehemently refused to go anywhere. It wasn’t until he gave you his number that you allowed your best friend to take you home.

He texted you right away when he woke up that morning, and the day after the two of you went on your first date. He surprised you by taking you to a rather high-end restaurant; you’d pegged him for a more low-key guy when it came to dates, despite the fact that he’d dedicated a song to you in front of a club full of people, and you were proved correct when you were on the phone with him later that night.

“I don’t even like going out that much,” he confessed, rubbing a hand over his tired eyes. “I just thought you deserved something special for a first date so I didn’t look like a loser.”

“You could have just told me that,” you giggled. “The dress code for our next date can be sweats.”

You still remembered the way his eyes lit up when you said “our next date.” That next date, a movie marathon at your apartment, had turned into countless dates, and you never went back to that restaurant.

Now, you were in the club where the two of you first met to celebrate your one year anniversary. Lando was wearing a white button up, and had just unbuttoned the top two buttons to reveal more of his tan skin and the gold chain around his neck. You’d given him a look, and he’d complained that “it’s just so hot in here,” but the both of you knew he was just doing it to rile you up.

It was working.

Your hands gravitated to the newly exposed skin, palms running up along his shoulders and fingers dipping beneath his collar to gently scratch at his back. You could spend all night running your hands over his skin, and he’d be happy to let you do it. He leaned closer to you, nearly stepping on your toes as his arms looped around your waist.

“You really weren’t lying last year when you said you were a bad dancer.” You laughed at the affronted look on his face.

“I think I’ve gotten better, thank you very much.” He said, and promptly stepped directly on your foot. “Shit, baby, I’m sorry!”

You only laughed harder, pulling him into a kiss. You could feel the vibrations of his own laughter against your lips.

“Wait right here,” he instructed, breaking the kiss. “I’ve got something for you.”

He kissed your cheek and disappeared into the crowd.

The song playing began fading out, which caught your attention because it was in the middle of the chorus. You didn’t need Lando’s DJ knowledge to know that it was a strange decision to fade a song out long before it was over.

“Attention, everyone. We had a special request tonight from a familiar face,” the DJ announced before passing the microphone to none other than your boyfriend.

“This next song goes out to my beautiful girlfriend,” Lando said, pointing directly at you and causing your face to get hot when half the room looked in the direction of his finger. “Happy one year, baby. I love you.”

Your jaw dropped as the familiar opening notes of “A Sky Full of Stars” started playing. Not just because of the song, but because of those three special words. I love you. You’d only said it to each other a handful of times, and Lando had just said it to you in front of hundreds of people.

You met him in the middle of the floor, too impatient to wait until he got back to you.

“I love you, I love you so much!” You yelled over the music, kissing him again.

“One year is just the beginning, yeah?” He asked, and you nodded enthusiastically, cheeks hurting from smiling so wide.

2023

You were wrapped up in Lando’s arms as you stood before his setup. In the past year, he had been promoted to be the main talent for the club and had three sets every weekend. He had insisted that the only gift he wanted from you for your two year anniversary was that you help him DJ his next set, and you’d obviously agreed. You got him a necklace anyway, but kept your promise so long as he promised to help you gain at least some skills beforehand so the audience wouldn’t kick you out for being shit. After a week or so, you felt confident enough with the buffer of the knowledge you’d picked up over the past two years to be where you were now– fading one song into another almost seamlessly.

Lando would take his hands off of you for only seconds at a time to adjust something here or there and make the music flow as smoothly as possible. Otherwise, he was all over you for the whole club to see, and you were kind of obsessed with it. He was hardly paying attention to anything else; only moving on autopilot to fiddle with the knobs or whatever it was he was doing to make you look like an adequate DJ.

“Did I do okay?” You asked towards the end of the set, looking over your shoulder at your boyfriend who hadn’t stopped smiling at you since you left the apartment and arrived at the club early to set up.

“Are you kidding? I think I might be out of a job after tonight,” he said, threading his fingers into your hair to pull you into a long kiss. “At least I would be, if I didn’t have this party trick under my sleeve.”

Slightly dazed from the passion of his kiss, you let him lean around you and queue up a song that wasn’t originally in the mix for that evening’s set.

At this point, you should have expected it, and maybe you did a little bit, but that didn’t stop the tears from pricking your eyes and the goosebumps rising on your arms when “A Sky Full of Stars” began, sending the crowd into a chorus of cheers.

“It works every time,” he said cheekily, reaching up to wipe away the tears that had escaped.

“You are unbelievable.” It was meant to be said in jest, but you were just so filled with love and adoration for him that it sounded like a compliment.

“Dance to our song with me,” he said, spinning you and tugging you forward so you bumped right into his chest.

“Here?” You looked behind you, at the set up, at the hundreds of people, and he took your chin in his hand and turned your face back to him.

“Here. Now. I want them all to see how much I love you.” He said it so sweetly that, in that moment, you were willing to give him just about whatever he wanted.

He started singing the song to you, “‘Cause in a sky, ‘cause in a sky full of stars, I think I saw you,” and it felt like you were the only two people in the room when the beat dropped and you kissed him with everything you had, letting him sway you back and forth and spin you around one too many times just to see his smile and hear his giddy laugh.

2024

You’re surprised when Lando tells you that he’s made different plans for your three year anniversary. The club has become a second home of some sorts; you’re there more often than not to watch his sets, and you’ve always gone there for your anniversaries. Not just the years, but the six month, year and a half, and two and a half year anniversaries as well. Thus, the sudden deviation from tradition raises a few alarm bells in your head. If anything, you’d expect a change for your four years next year since 4 is your boyfriend’s lucky number.

You don’t have time to dwell on it that much. You have to be out the door in ten minutes, and you still have to finish applying your lipstick, not to mention strap yourself into the sparkling silver heels Lando had gotten you for Christmas.

“Almost ready, baby?” He asks, peeking into the bathroom and watching as you add one last swipe of lipstick.

“Yup! Just need my—” you’re cut off when he holds up the heels. “—shoes. Thanks, Lan.”

“Here, sit. I’ll put them on for you.” He gestures to the edge of the tub.

You take him up on his offer happily, and your heart jumps up into your throat when he stares right into your eyes and slowly gets down on one knee before you.

You’d overheard him talking about possibly proposing to you with your parents over the holiday break, and you hadn’t been stealthy about it at all, so he knows that you heard. Since then, he’s made a game out of getting on one knee in front of you every now and then. He already did it once this morning when he woke you up only to tell you that he made you breakfast. You know he’s joking, but now that you’re celebrating a significant milestone in your relationship you can’t help but have a slight inkling that his joking around is less of a joke and more of a hint.

So when he holds your gaze long enough to make you start thinking that it might actually happen before going about putting your shoes on, you’re not at all fazed and ruffle his hair.

“Hey! Easy, I spent a lot of time making my hair look good for you.” He yelps, jumping up to look in the mirror and patting it down meticulously.

“I like it when it’s messy,” you reply, giving him a look that you know drives him crazy.

“You can’t say that and look at me that way when we’re trying to leave the house, babe.” He whines.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You make sure the straps on your heels are tight enough before you stand up, pleased that your retaliation to his down-on-one-knee joke worked better than you thought it would. “Come on, I don’t want to be late!”

He wastes no time in getting his payback for your antics when you arrive at the restaurant he took you to for your very first date. He opens the car door for you, and takes your hand to help you step out. The moment you’re on the sidewalk and the door is closed behind you, he gets down on one knee again, making a point to look at you the entire time. Your heart jumps again. Certainly he wouldn’t do it on the sidewalk? Or maybe he would, to add to the element of surprise?

He doesn’t. He simply ties his shoelace, the picture of innocence all the while.

“Shall we?” He says as he straightens up, offering his arm with a smile.

You retain your own picture of innocence, wrapping your hand around his bicep. “We shall.”

Seeing that he had booked the private dining room has more alarm bells going off in your head, not to mention the fact that you thought you’d never see the inside of this restaurant again. Regardless, you were actually kind of happy to be somewhere quieter to celebrate your anniversary, as much as you’ve fallen in love with being at the club.

Lando clears his throat loudly towards the end of your meal as the waiter pours two glasses of champagne. “Three years,” he begins, sounding somewhat awestruck.

You nod in agreement. “Three years. Sick of me yet?”

“I don’t think that’s possible.” He passes you a glass, and you clink them together before you each take a sip. “Actually, I’d really love to just spend my entire life with you.”

Now he’s not even trying to hide it, so you laugh a little bit. “That’s sweet, Lan.”

“I’m serious,” he pouts, and you try to contain yourself, painting a serious expression on your face and nodding as you press your lips together. “Fine, I admit it. I went a little too far with the joke.”

“Which time? Are we talking about just today or the past few weeks?” You ask pointedly, taking another sip of your champagne.

“Okay, a lot too far.” He huffs, getting out of his chair and pushing it in before walking to your side of the table. “I want to make up for it right now though, if that’s alright with you.”

“Oh my God. You’re actually serious?” You ask, feeling your insides beginning to shake a little with giddiness as he gets down on one knee before you for the fourth time today.

“I have never been more serious about anything in my life.” He reaches into his suit jacket and pulls out a small box.

It looks a bit different than ring boxes normally look, and the moment he opens it you understand why. The notes of “A Sky Full of Stars” emit from within the box where the ring sits, the dazzling diamond sparkling when it catches the light.

“Fuck’s sake, Lando, I wouldn’t have spent so much time on my makeup if I knew you were gonna do this,” you sniffle, putting a hand over your mouth.

“I’ll keep it short because I don’t want to cry too much and ruin it,” he promises, taking your free hand in his own, the other holding the box out to you. “I’ve never been happier to be borderline assaulted by a drunk girl in the middle of a set, because if that never happened I don’t know if we would’ve met.”

You start laughing hysterically, tears most definitely ruining your makeup, and he laughs through his own tears.

“I just love you so much, every little thing about you. It would take me eternity to tell you how much I love you, and that wouldn’t even be enough time with you. So, that’s why I want to ask you to be with me beyond eternity and do me the honor of being my wife.” He says your name like he’s saying it for the first time, taking his time to savor the way it rolls off his tongue. “Will you marry me?”

“Yes,” you nod. “Yes, yes, yes.”

Hand shaking, he slips the ring onto your finger. The moment it’s in place, he puts his other knee down and pulls you into the tightest hug as the song continues playing from the box.

“I love you,” you whisper in his ear, feeling his shoulders shake slightly as he cries. “But did you have to give me a heart attack so many times today?”

He laughs, pulling away and grabbing a napkin to gently wipe your eyes. “Four’s my lucky number, I had to do it three other times today to make sure I got it right.”

The song comes to an end, and you pick up the box, observing the intricate design and the engraving on the outside– You get lighter the more it gets dark. I’m going to give you my heart. Forever.

“You know this has to be the song we dance to for the first time as Mr. and Mrs. Norris, right?” You say to him, leaning in and kissing the tears off of his cheeks.

“Way ahead of you, baby. I already started making our playlist; it’s the first song on there.”

note: the fact that i’m posting this after lando confirmed he “retired” from dj-ing… call this my long-winded eulogy. special thanks to coldplay for making a song that inspired a whole story!

requests are OPEN, and my inbox is always open for comments, criticism, and conversation! feel free to pop in!

reblogs are always appreciated <33

beautiful dividers by @/saradika !

tags (i’m sorry if i couldn’t tag you!): @venusacrossthestars @67-angelofthelordme-67 @emails-i-can-send @nelly187 @cixrosie @fangirl-dot-com @sainzluvrr @imheretoread @mellowarcadefun @yourbane @monsieurbacteria6 @thef1diary @clara760-blog @baby-moxley @positiveaspirations @xfuckoffx @hannahbrown2002 @cataalinababeyy @inejghafawifesblog @formulasportworld @meandjoemama @maddie-bell @mrsmaybank13 @hadids-world @havaneselover08 @aacherrylips @itsmoonia @universallyhoundbonkfestival @rery30 @paigeworlds @wassgood @itscrzy @ctrlyomomma @inlovewithdeadboys @multifandomfan1 @bwormie @megsmclaren @barackostea @enchantemirrorball @tiredallthetimex @cosmoscoffeee @mlilyb16 @ophcelia @idktbhhsworld @l-inas @kath8278 @formulaangel55 @y-nusername @sla123455ffh @dinodumbass @diaa-20 @alexmarie29 @lisoba13 @ftdtlovecore @clowngirlsstuff @jurelij @romanxffs @sadisticfries @loyalpuffofthehuffle @cherrue @itsprashimusic @danielmarie @dampcelery0294 @shasasthings @bringbacktim @lou-larcher5 @yunakynn @hanbinnneee

#full fic #lando norris x you #lando norris x reader #lando norris imagine #ln4 imagine #ln4 fic #formula one x reader #formula one imagine #f1 imagine #f1 x reader

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fillinforlater · 7 months

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Phone Part 10: Return of the Angel +3

Male Reader x Kim Minju, Yeh Shuhua, Jung Eunbi (Eunha), Hwang Eunbi (SinB)

Length: 1550 words

Tags: strap-ons, lesbian sex, spitroasting, double penetration, overstimulation, loveless sex, voyeurism, watching, fingering thigh riding

TW: messy crazy bs

(A/N: this series randomly returns because I just needed to get this idea out of my system for good. This might be the conclusion to it, but probably not... well, maybe you send me some ideas to where this could lead up to.)

"I'll get going."

Bomi kisses your cheek, that sore cheek, sore like every patch of your skin, every bone in your body and every damn muscle, some of them you didn't even know could hurt before today. Hell, you don't even have the strength to give Bomi a proper goodbye, a weak wave is all you can muster up.

She'll not be mad at you. For what might have been either 15 or 150 minutes, you have taken turns on her and Shuhua's pussy—licking, fingering, fucking them until those tight caverns each got a big load in them. In the meantime, Minju has been their plaything. Especially Shuhua has this cruelty towards her "friend", edging her with fingers, reddening her thighs with extremely hard slaps and always promising that she'll get your cock—just to claim you with her pussy again.

You turn around when Bomi closes the door. Shuhua and Minju wrestle on the couch, the latter clearly outmatched when Shuhua puts her in a headlock with her thunder thighs. Minju tries to escape with licks on Shuhua's clit but can't find it—the nightmare of so many guys.

"Cut it out, you two," you groan, fingers on your temple.

"N-no," Minju whines. "Minju still needs cock, wants cum in her tummy!"

"I can't." Point at your limp dick, absolutely spent. "And I have a headache. At this point, I’ll start to hate sex. Fucking hell, I'll make myself tea."

"Oh, I have an idea," Shuhua smirks and reaches for her phone while you leave for the kitchen. Whatever it is, you don’t want to deal with it. You need something relaxing, something herbal, to heal all the soreness in your body. It’s incredible to think that there is something like too much sex. You’re really close to giving up on it, even though two nymphomaniacs have turned your house into sex hub.

“No, no, stay down. You’ll get cock soon,” you hear Shuhua belittle Minju, who just whines in her usual tone. She seems to not be a bit tired after all this.

“Well, it won’t be mine,” you shout back, watching the hot water fill your cup and turn the leaves into something magical.

“Yeah, I know, you’re basically useless at this point.” Ouch, that stings. “That’s why I called back up.”

“You what?!”

“They should be here any minute now.”

Shuhua is spot on. Before your tea is finished steeping, your door bursts open. But instead of a hung man, two rather petite women enter your house. Both have a bored look on their face and immediately get to undressing. Overcoats seem to be the shit right now, and no matter who comes through your front door, they always drop it on the floor.

“Uhm, hello?” you carefully greet them before remembering that this is your home, your kingdom! You can’t let strangers just walk in like they own the place. “This is kinda rude, you know?”

“Don’t care,” says the taller one with long, raven hair, dressed only in jeans. “We have business to do. Also, it’s rude to just stand there, naked, while two ladies walk in.” You blush and hide your crotch with the tea cup.

“We aren’t ladies, stop kidding yourself,” the other snarks back, while climbing out of her skirt. “I bet he is a good fuck, you shouldn’t kill your chances already.”

“Eh, I’ll think about it, but first—” Both girls suddenly pull out two strap-ons from God-knows-where and put them on with the casualness one would wear a fricking hat. The taller one hasn’t even removed her jeans, wearing the harness over it, while the other is fully naked and flaunts her butt at you.

“Yeah, I know, we got shit to do.” The short haired girl slaps her butt and you almost drop the cup when she walks past you with a wink. “Shuhua, where is this needy bitch? Or are you the needy bitch?”

“Oh, it’s so nice to see you, Eunbi and Eunbi,” Shuhua greets them and points at Minju, still trapped in between her fat thighs. “Look who I found.”

“She is insatiable. Incredible that he can still stand,” the shorter Eunbi says.

“Hm, maybe he is a good fuck. Anyways, we’ll try our best to keep her down,” the taller Eunbi says. The three conspirators try to agree on a strategy on how to fuck the angelic girl. You’ve become invisible in your own house, your entry to the living room goes largely unnoticed. Except for Minju who pouts at you when the two Eunbis lift her up and put her in a doggy position. The shorter one is below her, the other is ready to press the plastic cock into Minju’s puckered hole.

"Should we do it at the—nevermind, you're already in." The small Eunbi groans in annoyance, the other looks unapologetic and starts to rut slowly against Minju's butt. The long shaft forcing open Minju’s hole, paired with the denim on her sore, pink buttocks, must feel incredible and incredibly painful at the same time. Who knows which of the two makes Minju wail and moan more.

"Come on, Eunha, shove it in her sex," Shuhua urges on the Eunbi below as she excitedly stares at the unholy sight of fake cocks on ready holes. Her eyes mimic the camera lens for a porn shoot, while you're the director, watching the scene play out. Either way, it's good content.

"Minju's pussy, Minju's ass, so full!" Minju is loud, louder than before. Shuhua is having none of it.

"Shut up. SinB, make her stay quiet. And don't let her cum."

Two hands move to cover Minju's mouth, two cocks move in and out at a rapid pace, two sets of eyes watch on in awe. Satisfied with what crazy madness she has come up with, Shuhua sits down next to you and lazily jerks your cock with two fingers. Oh, that victorious smile, glassy, lewd eyes, you'd love to wipe it off her face.

"You like what you see? Now you don't have to do anything anymore."

"What was that about me being useless?" Grab her by the throat and spit in her face. She looks pissed, you love it. "I came in you, even when Minju was willing to do anything to get my load and now you're still cruel to her? Seems mildly unfair."

"And what are you gonna do about it? Fuck her, if you can."

Shuhua is bratty, but just as much as she is bratty, she is also light. You easily place her nude frame on your thigh, her still dripping, creaming heat right on your skin. She hisses and you tighten your grip on her throat.

"I'm going to make you cum—you know I can, it's super easy—but only if you tell those two friends of yours to make Minju cum until she passes out.”

“Fuck, bastard,” Shuhua hisses. With your thumb on her clit, this is easily the quietest and tamest she has been for hours. Her body twitches, an honest reaction to how much she is addicted to the mind-blowing orgasms you can get out of her. Such a small finger, yet she is squirming, contemplating, faltering.

“Those two are so cruel,” you tell Shuhua, nose deep in her greasy hair. “They fuck her so hard, just to pull out at the last moment. Why do you want to torture Minju so bad?”

“Be-because she needs to get to the-the point.”

“What point?”

“The point where sex is no fun. She can go forever. She will never stop, your—fuck—plan to make her p-pass out, useless.”

This explains a lot. The Angel is insatiable, her lust seems infinite, but Shuhua’s plan—won’t it make things worse? At some point, SinB and Eunha will have to stop and Minju will be more desperate than ever. She will wobble through the house, tackle you the second she sees you and will force your cock in her pussy no matter what. A true tragedy.

“Well, I don’t care,” you say and tug at one of Shuhua’s nipples, she bites her fingers. “You’ve been too greedy, time for her to—”

“Fuck, fine.

“SinB, don’t hold back. Eunha, suck her tits, overstimulate this bitch!”

“What?” the two ask in unison and disbelief.

“Do-don’t ask questions, please, just do it!”

The way the two purple plastic cocks move in and out of Minju with the sole goal of too much pleasure has you satisfied and in a new heat, your cock hardening slowly but surely. With an ever increasing rhythm, you move your thigh up and down and Shuhua starts to ride, her loudness increasing again. She is as close as Minju and it only takes SinB pulling those messed up oak strands, you to rub Shuhua’s clit, for them both to explode.

You focus not on Shuhua shuddering, shaking on you, but at Minju’s expression. Her eyes jump wide, then tears shoot out and flow down, just to be blocked by SinB’s hands on her mouth. She’d be so loud, words messier than her hair would fill the room. After this peak, both collapse. Shuhua meets the floor, Minju falls on top of Eunha, who still thrusts, even spanks the Angel’s ass.

You’re hard again. Where is this going to end?

#kpop smut #female idol smut #girl group smut #male reader insert #izone smut #male reader #male reader smut #minju smut #gidle smut #shuhua smut #gfriend smut #viviz smut #eunha smut #sinb smut

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mistydeyes · 10 months

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the butterfly effect: you die because of their actions

┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊┊

summary: The butterfly effect "the idea that small things can have non-linear impacts on a complex system. The concept is imagined with a butterfly flapping its wings and causing a typhoon." Everyone never believed the saying, that was until you died at the hands of your love.

pairing: 141 x fem!Reader

warnings: SWEARING, character death (previously established relationship)

a/n: my first angst piece for the rest of the 141!

┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊┊

price

Price's mind raced as he shoved the doors open to the post-operation recovery wing. If he had known you would end up on the end of a gun, he would have never put you in this position. He never would have introduced you to General Shepherd.

When you met John, still known as a Lieutenant at the time, you were a First Lieutenant in the US Marine Corps. You were an expert at planning travel and assault routes and the SAS used your skills to their advantage. You worked together in a joint-op in Canada, one that required you both to find refuge in a snowed-out cabin. No one was surprised when you both emerged as a couple. Now after 13 years of dating and a happy marriage, you lived a comfortable life together. You had two daughters, both away in college, and lived close to Price's home in England. You made sacrifices, dividing your time in the English countryside with an apartment in DC.

Price was away on a mission as you sat in your countryside home. Last you heard, he was in Amsterdam with Sergeant Garrick. He was unreachable but you knew there was a fair share of times when you had the same status. Laswell had informed you that something had gone on with his unit and after reassuring you John was safe, she encouraged you to stay low in your home. You informed your daughters and they would soon be escorted to your house. Laswell had arranged a security detail for you and you sat at your living room table with a concealed firearm for protection.

As you tried to drink some tea, a series of knocks were heard from the door. You recognized it and holstered your gun as you answered. You opened the door to reveal General Shepherd, an old friend that John had introduced you to at a military ball. "General Shepherd, what a pleasant surprise," you said as you ushered him in, "can I get you anything?" "Just some water if you don't mind, Captain," he said and followed you into the kitchen. As you turned your back to him, he made polite conversation. "Captain, you didn't tell John about the op in the Middle East, right?" he asked and you remembered providing input on a cargo route earlier last year. "Of course not, General," you answered as you finished pouring the glass." "Then no harsh feelings, Captain," was the last thing you heard before you fell against the counter, a bullet lodged in the back of your head.

Back to the present time, Price shoved past the queue and slammed his fists on the receptionist's table. Laswell informed him that he was needed at the hospital immediately as you were in critical condition. He had taken the first flight home from Chicago and was now helplessly begging to see you. "Where is my wife?" he roared as the nurse sheepishly asked him for the name of the patient. "Captain Y/N Price," he said and she quickly typed it in for him. "She's not here, sir," she said quietly as he shook with rage, "she's in the morgue."

Your funeral came with all the proper traditions for a Captain. As the decorated Marines played Taps and folded a US flag, Price held onto your daughters' hands tightly. As a soldier presented him with the flag and your dog tags, he broke down in tears as your daughters joined. The last Price saw of you was your casket being lowered into the Arlington dirt.

As Price prepared to finally kill General Shepherd, he clutched your dog tags and wedding ring close to his neck. He pulled out a picture of you and your wedding day and kissed it before heading to finally end the bastard.

soap

After months of waiting the day was finally here. You and Johnny were expecting your first child after trying for so long. As you rested in a recliner, he had decorated the nursery with all the preparations for a newborn. You decided on a space theme for their room and Johnny would call the baby "our little astronaut." For the last month before you were due, Price let Johnny head home to be with you as he had known this is when you needed him most. When your water broke that morning, Johnny quickly rushed you to the hospital. The baby was two weeks early and you could feel the painful contractions as you entered the delivery room. You were in agonizing pain as the doctors delivered an epidural. Johnny could only watch helplessly as you were in labor for 10 hours.

He held your hand tightly as you screamed. "I see a head!" the doctor exclaimed and the nurses encouraged you to continue pushing. Even with the epidural, you felt dizzy and your eyes watered from the torment of childbirth. The room smelled of iron and blood as it pooled around your body. The doctor's hands were coated in the red liquid as you continued to push. "Almost there, love," Johnny reassured you as his hands turned white from your grip. "She's coming out beautifully, Mrs. Mactavish," the doctor reassured. "You hear that, it's a girl," Johnny exclaimed, "she's going to have my charm and your looks." You gave him a weak smile as the doctor updated him on how far out the baby was.

Finally, as the child exited into the doctor's arms, you released Johnny's hand. You slumped back into the bed as a nurse tended to your sweating face with a washcloth. The doctor delicately wiped the baby and swaddled her in a fresh blanket. "You can cut the umbilical cord, Dad," another nurse said as your baby girl cried. "Hi little one" he whispered as he cut the umbilical cord. He held her small hands with his and went to give her to you. But as soon as he turned, he saw your face was ghostly white. The monitor loudly beeped as the nurses and doctor began to panic. "She's losing a lot of blood," the doctor said as the room was thrown into chaos. Your vitals were beginning to drop and a nurse screamed for a crash cart. The delivery unit's PA system informed other attending nurses of a Code Blue and a variety of new staff rushed into the room. "Sir, you need to leave," a nurse demanded as he saw someone perform chest compressions. "She's not breathing," someone else yelled and Johnny tried to fight his way to the front. Everything was happening in slow motion as he held the baby close and saw you convulse under the shocks of a defibrillator.

"What's happening to her?" he demanded before he was shoved into the hallway. The nurses quickly closed the curtains as Johnny pounded on the glass. His hand grew numb as he fell defeated with your daughter in his arms. After 5 minutes, the doctor emerged. "You better tell me right fucking now what's going on," Johnny screamed at her. "I'm sorry sir, she's gone," she said and he could barely hear her say that you flatlined after a tremendous loss of blood. When she finished, he broke down and let the entire hospital hear his cries and screams.

As he cradled your daughter's head, the baby wailed and Soap joined his heartbroken song. A new life in exchange for one lost.

gaz

"Kyle, I don't know about this," you said as you boarded the plane. "C'mon love, teenage recruits do this," he encouraged as you both strapped in. Kyle had heard about a skydiving experience and convinced you to go. He used the fact that it was his birthday and you swallowed your doubts about flying. As the plane ascended, you gripped his hand tightly. You always had a fear of flying and even had a psychic tell you that flying would be involved with your death. Kyle comfortingly drew circles on your hands as you approached the descent level.

“Alright, flyers! It’s almost time!” you heard the pilot announce through the cabin. Kyle helped you unbuckle and guided you to the tandem diver. He introduced you both and the tandem diver promised a safe descent. “This is my 1000th flight, doll, you’ll be fine,” he reassured and helped to strap you in. You smiled nervously as Kyle similarly strapped into his flyer. He insisted you take a picture together as you shakily gave a thumbs up.

“Here we go!” Kyle’s tandem flyer shouted and they leapt out of the airplane. You tried not to look down as you swallowed your fear. You then felt your legs leave the plane as you and your flyer jumped into the sky. As you felt the rush of air on your face, you kept your eyes shut closed. “Look at me baby!” you heard Kyle shout and you peeked through your fluttering eyelids to see him smiling widely and holding his arms out. You tried to emulate his actions but as you looked up at your flyer, you could see him panic.

Something was wrong as Gaz also saw that your parachute had not yet deployed. He saw the tandem diver struggle to deploy the reserve but that too seemed to fail. He screamed at you as you both flew closer and closer to the ground. You looked up at him in fear and tried to reach out before gravity and the lack of a chute pulled you forcefully to the Earth's surface.

Gaz could only watch helplessly as you and your guide plummeted to the ground. He let out a flood of tears and screams but they too fell and followed along with your deadly descent.

ghost

Ghost watched in horror as two people sat next to one another on a platform. From what he could see, one of the people was a clear head taller than the other and they squirmed in their bindings. Their heads were covered in burlap and they both were sporting matching jackets that hit their figure. "Make the choice, Simon," Makarov said as his voice crackled through the comms, "your wife or best friend." Ghost's eyes dilated in horror as he realized Makarov's implications. "Before you try to be the hero, just know that I'm watching you," he taunted and Ghost knew there was no way out.

His mind flooded with any possible solution but he could not find any. This was supposed to be an easy fucking recon mission that only he and Johnny had to handle. Now he was without allies, without options, and an alternative plan. He shakily put his hand on the sniper's trigger as he fluctuated between looking at you and Soap. Beads of sweat pooled at his neck as he tried to think of any way to get you both out of this alive.

"Time is ticking, Simon," Makarov spoke again, "If you don't choose, they'll both die." That moment, two fluorescent dots appeared on your heads and he knew that somewhere two snipers were ready to take you both out if he didn't decide. Ghost's mind was clouded, he wondered if there was any way to save both of you but came up empty. The deadline and the thrashing of the two figures under their restraints made him finally decide. He made the most difficult decision of his life, he would save you instead of Soap. He couldn't live without you.

He said a silent prayer for his friend as he lined his sights. "Just stay still, Johnny," he painfully whispered as you both fought against your bindings. He knew a bullet straight through the heart would result in a quick and painless death. He held his breath as the gun fired, making a direct target with the body. It fell back in with a sickening thump and Ghost dropped the gun before rushing towards you.

Makarov was always one step ahead of the team. Ghost ran to the scene to see that the chair's size had deceived his eyes. One of the people who Ghost had assumed was taller than the other, was sitting on an elevated crate. The other figure thrashed about but Ghost was more focused on the one in front of him. As he went to pull the bag over what he believed was Soap's body, he was horrified to discover it was you, a single gunshot through the heart. A bullet he had sent into you. You died choking on your blood because of his actions.

As Ghost clutched your body in agony, his tears and screams echoed in the empty lot. In his haste, he had killed you and was now alone again in the world.

┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊┊

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brighterdaysarebeforeus · 11 months

Text

Soooooooo...basically a rewrite of Hobie's entire part in the movie? Except more awkward teenager and much, much more rambling. This does feel a bit all over the place so...enjoy, if you wanna.

Meeting Gwen for the first time wasn’t anything particularly memorable or anything like that, Hobie didn’t think. It was a simple thing, really; LYLA had found an anomaly, Miguel had reluctantly put Hobie on the case, Hobie had gone out of his way to ramble on about how he wasn’t a cog in Miguel’s system (man looked like he wanted to punt Hobie out of the office, and that just added more pleasure to his insubordination), and then Jess had sort of insisted that Gwen tag along to learn how to inter-dimensional travel and also how to deal with the anomalies as they occurred. Her exact words, if he remembered right, were “she needs to learn how to deal with these things in a team setting, and also maybe get some more friends her own age” or something similar that Gwen had immediately protested against.

He’d protested as well, as if it would change anything, as if these two would take him any serious. Hobie told them that he didn’t believe in teams, or in teamwork, and Jess put her hand on his shoulder, looked him in the eye, and told him very sternly to get over himself. Miguel was in the back, rubbing his hand over his face with one hand and waving the other at them in a motion that screamed ‘just go’. The mission itself was fine, easy job for a sole Spider let alone two Spider-People, but Gwen had been pricklier than he’d been expecting. He thought she was spunky, but particularly withdrawn for a Spider, and she’d snapped at him several times before the mission had ended. Afterwards, they’d gone their separate ways and he didn’t think too much about her, focusing on being the one and only Spider-Man (Spider-Punk, the newspaper headlines screamed, and he’d hated the name with a passion when he was younger, but found the title had grown on him over the years) in Camden.

Then they got paired together again. And again. And again. There’d been a genuine moment of concern that Miguel and Jess were punishing him for something, because they kept sticking him together with this small wisp of a child who looked like she wanted to bite his head off any time he asked her anything remotely personal, whether it be about her family or even her favorite kind of music. Hobie couldn’t even begin to figure her out, but decided that if he kept pushing, especially if they kept getting put on missions together, she’d have to crack eventually, right?

(It was worse when he realized she was actually older than him, even if it was only by three months. She held it over him for days, blocking his every question and prompt with “I don’t have to tell you anything, I’m older than you are.” Like a kid. Like a little kid, and how in the hell was she older than he was? It was unjust, it was.)

The sad part was, Hobie wasn’t even sure when things changed, with Gwen. Rather, he wasn’t quite sure why they had changed, though far be it from him to criticize someone’s changing of their mind. They’d gone on a mission, catching an inter-dimensional Doc Ock in some bizarre backwards universe made up of graffiti art that had her particularly subdued and snappish with him; she’d just given a thirty second rant that had cut Hobie deeper than he’d wanted to admit and they were swinging around searching for the Doc in a strained silence that had lasted until they’d found the fucker; at some point in the fight, the Doc had her pinned and Hobie’d yelled for her to cover her ears, and used his guitar to blast the scientist off of her at the last second, using his regular webs to yank her from where she’d been embedded in the ground; they’d, somehow, ended up victorious back at HQ and handed the Doc to Margo to send back to the proper dimension, went to Miguel and Jess to report their success. Hobie set his watch to his home dimension, the portal had opened up, and then —

“Hey, can I…” He’d half-turned to Gwen, eyes wide on his mask to showcase his paying attention as Gwen held her left arm tightly in her right hand, pointedly not looking at him and using the longer left side of her hair to cover her face. She’d taken off her mask, though Hobie had never really felt comfortable enough in the Spider Society to do so very often, and he could see the uncertainty in her face as she finally spit out, “can I…crash with you? For a bit?”

“Like, in my dimension?” Hobie’d asked, and she rolled her eyes so hard that her head followed the motion automatically. Something warm and pleased grew in his chest as she pushed past him roughly, muttering something sarcastic under her breath, and he didn’t even notice Jess watching them from behind as he nudged her shoulder playfully while they walked through the portal together.

Gwen started hanging around more after that, even when they had to keep moving from abandoned house to abandoned house in order to keep a roof over their head for the night. She didn’t stay over every night, but it was often enough to leave some of her shit laying around for him to trip over. He discovered she like playing drums and incorporated her into his band, more or less the only permanent member aside from him despite the inter-dimensional shenanigans. ‘Gwen’ became ‘Gwennifer’ (she threw her drumstick at him) which then became ‘Guinevere’ (he’d barely dodged the swing she leveled at him for that) became ‘Gwendolyn’ (she’d webbed his mouth shut) became ‘Gwendy’ (she rolled her eyes and crossed her arms, but he’d caught the pleased look on her face for that one). Over time, she started opening up about her dad, her indefinitely on-hold Spider-Woman work in her home ‘verse, her Peter…

Miles.

The name lit up something at the back of his head, the first time she’d mentioned it, and Hobie couldn’t for the life of him figure out what it was. It wasn’t until she mentioned something about a particle collider that it came rushing to Hobie; he was Miguel’s “original anomaly”, the one who had apparently weakened the multiverse apart enough for the Spider Society to be kept busy damn near constantly. Hobie could respect a Spider who could throw the multiverse into chaos like that, even if was accidental and wasn’t even his fault to begin with. He tried prompting her, through trial and error, into talking about Miles damn near constantly; it worked better than he’d hoped, and for a hot minute all she would talk about was Miles. What he looked like, what he’d say, the way he’d stuck his hand to her hair when he’d first gotten his powers and she’d had to cut it off on the sides (“and you kept the hairstyle?” “Fuck off, Hobart — ” “Ew, no thanks mate, ‘o the fuck is Hobart — ”). She talked about him so much that Hobie felt like he knew the damn kid all on his own without ever having met him.

And then Gwen got herself assigned to a mission in his universe. Not only that, but she was allowing herself to miss her friend enough to stop off to visit when she went, though she had a brief moment of panic before she’d left and she’d called him for ‘moral support’ or whatever it was she’d hissed at him when she called. Hobie felt proud of her for that, even though he couldn’t find his chucks the day she left and he nearly brained himself tripping over her damn jumper when he headed to the bathroom.

It was her first mission on her own, officially, and Hobie was pulling out damn near every trick in the book to keep him from worrying. He was sitting at her drum set where they had it set up in a practice warehouse, listlessly banging on the cymbals when his watch went off a second time. Heart jumping up into his throat, Hobie answered the call and whipped his way into Mumbatten, which was exactly where Gwen was not supposed to be at this current moment. He’d barely even taken the time to suit up, nearly forgot to grab his damn guitar, and didn’t even pause to take in the situation before strumming the thing and bursting through what looked like a barrier. He’d heard Gwen and Pavitr shout, but he’d landed with his back to them and then he’d gotten rushed by Pav the second he caught his breath.

Then he’d turned fully, pushed Pav off of him, and nearly swallowed his tongue when he caught a good, solid look of him, dressed in his black suit with pops of red; it had to be Miles, the Spider-Man-Who-Wasn’t-Supposed-To-Exist-In-Earth-1610-Specifically, which for some reason both was a surprise and yet was completely expected.

“This the kid from 1610?” He asked first, like he wasn’t fully aware of who Miles was to begin with. Gwen’s head rolled, a sure sign she was rolling her eyes, and he’d glanced her way briefly before looking back at Miles, who was complaining to Gwen. He’d gotten close enough when Pav thanked him for destroying the barrier in time to hear him (“I weakened it!”) and shot a quick demonstration of “use your whole palm, mate, not just your fingertips”, complete with hand visuals. Miles looked, low-key through his mask, like he wanted to strangle him. Gwen looked away, but Hobie could tell her shoulders were shaking from held-back laughter.

He wanted to crawl into a small hole for a minute. For a hot second, Hobie debated the pros and cons of potentially just jumping back through the portal and going home, there were three Spiders to deal with the Dalmatian over there, he wasn’t really needed for this, was he? He was distracted for all of two seconds before remembering there was supposed to be a fight going on, and he was supposed to be helping, and that Miles was standing in front of him.

So, naturally, once he was back online and fully focused, he opened his mouth and immediately put his foot in it.

“What’s up with his suit, is he bleeding from the armpits?”

“Wha-Who even is this guy?” Gwen introduced them quickly, Hobie talking even faster as they prepared to fight the Dalmatian-looking dude in front of them, and though Miles looked slightly lost (“I thought you hated labels?”), Hobie had hope that they’d be able to get along swell.

Then he stuck his foot in it again.

“Gwendy, you left your jumper ‘round my place.”

“What’s a jumper?”

“It’s a sweater!”

“How many sweaters do you own?”

And, because he couldn’t keep his damn mouth shut to save his own damn life even as Gwen clearly tried to salvage that mess, Hobie continued.

“And your toothbrush.” He kind of wanted to die. What was the deal with this spotty dude? Hobie wondered if the dude would shoot him into another dimension if he asked him nicely enough. He hated asking nice though, and it was pretty obvious this guy happened to be the villain of the week (as it were), so his best bet was staying here. Shame, that. He was really fucking things up right about now, and he just knew Gwen was gonna give him shit for it later too.

Things happened…weirdly fast after that. They fought the Dalmatian, they lost the Dalmatian, Mumbatten’s AlcheMax began crumbling and they had to save the people. Normal Spider stuff, and Hobie was glad for the distraction — well, not glad glad, he didn’t want Mumbatten to fall apart and Pav was far too little a Spider to be dealing with this kind of cosmic mess — just because Miles took off with Pavitr and left him and Gwen to hold the building up. Even better, Gwen was all the way over there, so she couldn’t even give him shit for how he’d been acting the fool in front of Miles.

God, he just hoped it wasn’t noticeable. To Miles, at least.

Then after the building collapsing was the bridge falling apart, and Miles diving to save the Inspector. Hobie had skid to a stop next to Gwen, the both of them staring down as Pav tried to save the bus and his girl, and Miles tried to save the Inspector. Gwen’s eyes were wide, taking up the entirety of her face as she held onto the railing in a death grip with one hand, the other still outstretched; she’d grabbed Miles then, right before Hobie had gotten there, and for a moment he wasn’t sure why she’d done it.

“He’ll be aces, yea?” Hobie said to her quietly, eyes still on the bridge.

“It’s a canon event. He’s interfering with it.” Gwen said somberly, and Hobie scoffed with a roll of his eyes — she sounded just like Miguel, there, for a hot moment, and he wondered if he should begin extracting them both before the man’s ideals managed to get in any deeper — but Gwen didn’t seem to notice him. When the bridge finished collapsing, she didn’t hesitate to jump over the rail, yelling for Miles as she did so. Hobie followed after her, beelining his way to Pav first to help him with the bus. Once it was on solid ground, relatively speaking, the passengers disembarking and Pavitr trying to smooth things over with his girl, Hobie turned on time to see Gwen lift a giant piece of rubble to reveal —

Miles. Holding a small child, with the Inspector right behind him. Both were fine, probably filled with adrenaline but relatively unharmed, and Pav’s girl was rushing past them all to embrace her father. Hobie followed her, not to the Inspector, but to Miles; Miles, who had been facing Gwen, who hadn’t heard him approach and therefore wasn’t anticipating it when Hobie grabbed his shoulders from behind and shook him eagerly.

“Miles, my guy!” He said cheerfully, and even the city cheered for them (and wasn’t that just novel, that’s never happened to Hobie before), and then —

There was a hole, big and black and looking similar to the spots on the Spot, sucking in pieces of Mumbatten. There was Jess, and her team of Spiders trying to keep it contained (points to Spider Society!) and her just blatantly blowing off Miles in a way that made Hobie’s hackles rise and ordering them all back to HQ to talk to Miguel (negative points for their diligent leaders!). Panic spiked at that, briefly, for Hobie; he leaned on Miles and tried to get him out of it, get them both out of it, but Miles shrugged him off in order to practically run into the belly of the beast with his fist in the air like he’d won something. Hobie dropped his face into his palm, but followed along anyway. Just to see what was going to happen.

Miles looked slightly awed when he took off his mask, which was kind of an ego boost, if Hobie was being honest; his whispered comment was met with one of his own comebacks (“how are you even cooler under the mask?” “I was this cool the whole time.”) that made Gwen press her lips together as she repressed her snort of laughter. Hobie glowered at her slightly, and she rolled her eyes in the opposite direction. Even Jess looked somewhat amused, and Hobie grunted softly at both of them.

He tried, honest to god, he tried so hard to keep Miles from meeting Miguel. Once he’d realized that Gwen had met with Miles and yet told him nothing about the Spider Society, told him nothing about how he fit into all of this as the supposed “original anomaly” (he had ThoughtsTM about Miguel’s thought process, is all, ThoughtsTM that he didn’t necessarily have time to delve into at this specific moment) — he couldn’t let him walk in blind. Miles didn’t deserve the way Miguel was gonna treat him on a normal day, short-tempered and blunt as the man was, let alone a day where a mission was fucked up bad enough that the BBG got away and another dimension was in peril of nonexistence. There was just no time to prepare him, not right at this moment, and he’d completely messed up his entrance to begin with so it wasn’t even like Miles would wanna even listen to anything Hobie had to say, let alone believe it, so…Hobie stalled.

Easily reaching out and grabbing anything potentially useful, Hobie distracted Miles as best he could. Bet this don’t even do anything. Why’d you wanna join up anyway? (The scoff Miles gave him when Hobie told him to make his own watch was not cute, Hobie did not find it endearing at all, and he was shit at lying to himself) What’s your set up — loving parents? (He was thankful Gwen was walking ahead of them for that one and not paying them any attention; the way he’d leaned on that unused portal more or less broadcasted his interest, especially combined with the way he’d fallen through it. He was also infinitely grateful Miles was too preoccupied to notice that blatant display). Hell, he even planted himself in front of the damn kid, sitting in the chair and stretching his legs out onto the table top so that Miles wouldn’t advance anymore, and felt his heart flutter in his chest when Miles simply pushed past him without even stopping.

Then it stopped when Miguel showed up, acting more Miguel-ish than usual. Miles greeted him brightly, holding up the empanada he’d gotten from the cafeteria, but Miguel was having none of it at the moment. Hobie glared at him out of the corner of his eye when he threw the empanada, then dipped out of sight in order to steal more tech that he needed; he lost track of what was happening all the way up to the loud crashing noise, and he’d popped his head back over to see Miguel yelling at both Gwen and Miles. Sniffing irritably, Hobie opened his mouth and was cut off immediately by Peter Parker from Earth 616 making his appearance. Miles was happy to see him, Hobie could hear it in his voice, and against his better judgement he went back to what he was doing.

When Miguel trapped Miles, way before literally trapping him in a cage, Hobie made his way to Miles’ side while keeping a small distance from him. He kept his eyes on him, watching how he ranted against Miguel’s idea of ‘keeping to the canon’, how he fought against the idea of letting one person die just to save others, how he argued that as Spider-Man they should be able to do both. Watched how he turned to his original allies, Peter 616 and Gwen and even Peni, and how they all couldn’t look him in the eye for longer than a few seconds. Encouraged him when it seemed like he needed it (“Here we go.” “Hobie, you’re not helping.” “Good.”). Miles realized it was a trap a second too late, and once Miguel had him caged, chaos began to descend upon them all. His friends were yelling at Miguel, who was yelling back, and Miles was panicking. He couldn’t break himself out, and Hobie’d had enough.

“Oi, Peter Pan.” Hobie hissed at him, and Miles stared at him with wide eyes. He didn’t touch the digital net, all too aware of the fact that it would draw attention from the others, but he spread his hands out just in front of it. Hobie repeated his advice from earlier, complete with visual demonstration, without speaking out loud. “Use your palms.” Miles seemed to take a breath at that, his shoulders lowering from around his ears as he pressed his hands fully against the barrier, palms and all. Since Hobie was the only one paying attention, he knew to brace himself when electricity started crackling up and down Miles’ arms; when the barrier exploded, he was the only one who wasn’t knocked over aside from Miles, who seemed to freeze for a sec when he realized he was free. He chuckled, smiling proudly when Miles’ wide brown eyes met his again, without the barrier this time.

Then Miles turned heel and booked it down the corridor, where the door was wide open and awaiting his exit. Hobie sort of regretted that breaking the door so it would stay open meant that the other Spiders also had easy access to go after Miles, but they were still trying to pick themselves up off the floor and that gave Miles a solid four second head start. It was the best Hobie could do for him, given the situation, along with one last thing.

Miguel yelled for everyone to go after Miles, and they complied. Hobie activated his watch, creating a portal to his home ‘verse. Sneering at all the Spiders rushing past him, Hobie shouted “for the record, I quit!” and threw his watch off once he was safely in the portal.

He crash landed towards the edge of the bed in the room, close enough to where he was aiming originally. Sighing heavily, Hobie sprawled out on the bed and listened to the drones flying overhead, watched as their lights illuminated the room he was staying in currently. Gwen’s jumper was still on the floor where she’d left it, her shoes dropped carelessly two feet beside it. (Seriously, her shoes were right there, did she really have to take his?) With a soft sigh and a quiet groan, he pulled himself back up, stretched, and started pulling shit out of his pockets. He’d actually grabbed a lot more things than he’d needed, courtesy of trying to hold the door for Miles, and he tossed aside the things he didn’t need in order to get started. Several other watches dropped out of his pocket as well, the ones he’d made before staying on him for safekeeping — one for him, one for Pav, one for Gwen.

Just because Miles didn’t want to make his own watch didn’t mean Hobie couldn’t make one for him.

#punkflower #spider punk #spider gwen #miles morales #hinted punkflower #like just a taste of it #spiderman atsv #more hobie pov of his part in the movie than anything else #starts before the movie events

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kindykid · 4 months

Text

terms to use / avoid as a age regressor

made by a regressor, for regressors.

This post is to educate the community! I will not shame anyone for using (most) terms listed, this is just for your awareness. cross-tagging and cross-terming is extremely dangerous especially when minors use agereg and can have osdd/d.i.d child alters.

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Littles/LittleSpace : can be used, but is not suggested

littles / little space used to be a sfw term used to describe child alters within a osdd/d.i.d system. this term was taken by the nsfw community and adopted by the sfw community. if you were to tell someone you were a "little" they will assume it's sexual.

CGL/CGLRE : should never be used in sfw terms

cgl or cglre used to be a strictly sfw term do describe a CareGiver Little Relationship. these terms were taken by the nsfw community to identify sexual relationships with caregivers and littles

Age Regression : this is mostly safe to use

Age Regression is a term that even therapists and psychologists know! Age Regression is a sfw coping mechanism for those who need to relive a proper childhood due to trauma. This can also be referred to as a Inner Child, and the method being called Inner Child Healing. When Regressed, most people are in a true child state of mind, like having a child alter without being an alter, and just a Regressed version of yourself.

Though Age Regression is a sfw term, the nsfw community sometimes uses this term (but not as often as cgl) so you can separate it by using the term Sfw Age Regression.

Age Dreamer : this is basically as safe as you can get

The terms Age Dreamer or Age Dreaming means someone enjoys childlike things without actually regressing. instead they lightly pretend to be around the age they're dreaming about. instead of needing supervision or help cutting up foods, ect.

these dreamers are much more independent no matter where their age range falls. So far, we have personally never seen nsfw users use this tag before!

Please be aware that just because "sfw" is tacked onto a term, does not make it sfw- and here's why..

Sfw Kink does not exist. kink is a literal synonym for fetish, and a fetish is something (usually seen as taboo) used for sex. I will be listing a couple kink terms below so you can block / mute those who use them.

DDLG, DDLB, MDLG, MDLB, SFWDDLG, SFWMDLG,SFW CGL/RE or more commonly known as AGEPLAY — honestly there's more than this because the kink community does not know when to stop. Adding "sfw" onto these terms helps these people gain reach on platforms. "sfw kink" users often post suggestive but not nude content.

Sometimes they post sfw content, while also sexualizing the fact that it's sfw- A lot of "sfw kink" users make the account itself sfw, while sexualizing it off screen. This is where the term, "hiding behind age regression" comes into play.

───────────────────────────────────────

I hope you found this tiny guide helpful!

remember to take care of yourselves and stay safe ♡

- 🍪

#sfw agere #age regregression #age regressor #agere community #age dreaming #age dreamer #sfw agedre #agedre #age regression community

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emcscared-whumps · 7 months

Text

IS WHUMPLOVERS COLLABORATE TRANSPHOBIC???

I'm going to start off this post by saying that I usually like to stay well-clear of drama. I have no desire to get myself involved; I like to stay in my dark little corner and write my dark little stories. However, a post 'exposing' the transphobia and misogyny in the whump Discord server @whumplovers-collaborate was brought to my attention, and I could not sit idly by and watch it pass by, so I will make an exception to my rule.

Without further adue, I am emc, and I am a member of the mod team over on Whumplovers Collaborate. I have been a member of the server since, 20/11/2021, two days after the creation. As I write this post, I have been assisting in modding it for roughly a year (honestly, I don't remember ^-^').

A serious accusation of transphobia and misogyny has been made against the WLC Discord server: is it true?

It is NOT true.

Transphobia and transphobic behaviour is a serious and abhorrent offence that must always be taken seriously, and I am pleased to see such a large response from the community. This also means that allegations should not be made lightly. In spite of this, I would like to express my deepest disappointment by how quickly a sparsely sourced, anecdotal post was spread within our community (if you could even call a few out of-context quotes and the offer of screenshots sources). It was borderline slanderous to the owner, my team, and my friends; and it attempted to tear up our hard work.

Mateship is extremely important to me, so when I saw this, I could not let it go unchecked. In response, I am making this post to shed some light on the situation. I will be including fully sourced screenshots and quotes, and responding to allegations, so that you all may come to your own conclusions.

PLEASE READ TO THE END.

Warning: This will be long. I will make it as long as it needs to be to convey the information correctly with proper sourcing.

This post contains evidence of misogynistic, sexist, and harmful statements on sexual assault that may be upsetting for some readers. Proceed with caution if this is something that could affect you.

Source links associated with screenshots are hyperlinks attached to the image.

What even happened?

In short, there was an incident in February this year (2023) following the question of a member on the controversial topic of why they didn't like lady whump, the discussion veered into the meta theory behind it, which sparked misogyny, accusations of misogyny, sexism, accusations of sexism, accusations of transphobia, and grossly incorrect statements on the effect that sexual assault and rape has on male (and other AMAB (Assigned Male At Birth)) people.

[Read the whole conversation].

(This is a Discord link to the beginning of the incident. If you are a member, you have likely already seen it).

You can read the Tumblr post in question [here].

(Also, please keep in mind that I am Australian and it all happened from 0100-1000 AEST on a work day (Friday). I did not have a direct hand in this conversation as it happened. I did, however, assist behind the scenes after).

Mods at the time:

Orange User

Purple User

Blue User

Yellow User

Server Owner:

Sky Blue User

The Allegations

The discussion of lady whump is not without controversy in terms of gender identity, because there are many different areas of the spectrum that are not explicitly covered in the tagging systems, which are usually binary with a couple of umbrella tags of other nonbinary genders, which by nature can never fully describe the deep way in which humans experience and express gender.

Alleged Transphobia:

Firstly, let's define transphobia, and then have a look at the incident with that in mind:

Transphobia consists of negative attitudes, feelings, or actions towards transgender people or transness in general. Transphobia can include fear, aversion, hatred, violence or anger towards people who do not conform to social gender roles. [Source]

Transphobia and trans-exclusion are not the same.

Trans-exclusion is the intentional and malicious exclusion of transgender people from certain spaces, activities, and discussions. The exclusion of transgender people in certain contexts, such as some gender discussions where transgender people are not the focus, and in which no attacks are made, are not themselves transphobic. However, trans-exclusionary behaviour is often co-morbid with transphobia, hence the association.

The mod censored in orange had expressed an interest in only reading whump of cisgender men. Subsequently, it was argued that the tagging of lady whump, alongside the tagging of male whump and nonbinary whump is inherently 'transphobic' because of the exclusion of other more or less binary genders.

(Screenshot 1)

That is trans-exclusionary at worst, but that is arguable.

The red user misinterprets the mod censored in purple's previous message "some people don’t like to bother with it" in relation to tagging or not tagging for transgender characters [Source], and incorrectly assumes that the meaning was "‘some people don’t like to bother’ with trans characters."

(Screenshot 2)

The full message from the mod censored in purple that the user censored in red had replied to reads:

10/02/2023 01:34 Some people don’t like to bother with it. And I think that’s something people can respect [Source]

The above message sent by the mod censored in purple was in reply a previous message the user censored in red sent in reply to the mod censored in orange. It provides the context for "some people don't like to bother with it." It reads:

10/02/2023 01:31 I still question how you want to know if they’re cis like, I think tagging every piece of work stating a character is trans is,, not always necessary or good That’s just what I wanted to clarify like you will not always get to know what’s in someone’s pants [Source]

This does not count as trans-exclusionary, because it could be effectively argued that tagging for a transgender character when that fact does not become relevant is wrong.

The user in red took then took the mod censored in purple's whumpee gender preference to mean main character (of general fiction) gender preference, and insinuates that they are transphobic.

The conversation was not transphobic as the post purported it do be, nor was it truly trans-exclusionary.

The most 'transphobia' that happened was in relation to users' expressed preferences for whumpee gender for the purposes of reading (and writing) whump fiction for whumperflies, rather than fiction in general; and the insinuations of a user's transphobia in relation to if and how a user chooses to or not to tag the genders of the main characters, (especially whumpees), in their whump works.

This is a long established debate within our community, and while some members (of the whump community at large) may express certain preferences for transphobic reasons, no one in this specific conversation did.

I believe the accusation that the whole server is transphobic arises from the fact that two of the mods at the time expressed a whumpee gender preference for only cisgender men. Whumperflies in my experience (and that of many others), are a very physical sensation in reaction that I cannot control to whump that I enjoy, therefore, calling certain whump gender preferences trans-exclusionary is incorrect.

There was another part of the conversation that took place after the previous screenshots, and there was some trans-exclusion inherent in it because of the focus on of sex and gender in relation to that subject, but it is a completely different issue, and it will get its own subsection.

Misogyny, and Harmful Statements on Sexual Assault and other Violence Against Women vs Men:

In the previous subsection on alleged transphobia, I mentioned another part of the conversation would get its own section. This is that section.

A user made a frankly disgusting, untrue, and extremely harmful statement on the severity of the effects of rape and sexual assault of women and men, saying that it is not as inherently bad when it happened to men and other AMAB people.

(Screenshot 3)

The full message from the user censored in pink reads:

10/02/2023 09:10 I do see the point some people make about how certain kinds of "whump" tropes are treated or developed with women vs with men, especially in mainstream media, but sometimes some people do go overboard with the downright sanitization of those tropes in general, and apply specifically in fanfiction [Source]

Those statements made by the user censored in brown were not okay, and that part of the conversation caused the biggest stir among the mods, which will be covered under the Actions section.

The statement of that user was far more misogynistic and offensive to victims of any kind of sexual abuse, than it was trans-exclusionary. It was not transphobic. Regardless, it was wrong, and every single mod, including myself, and the owner, understands that beyond the shadow of a doubt.

The user censored in brown also went on to say that (general) violence, as well as sexual assault against men and AMAB people, was also inherently less serious because of their sex, adding that it was humourous in some contexts.

(Screenshot 4)

(Screenshot 5)

One of the mods on the scene, censored in orange, made a subject change request four minutes after these harmful statements began [Source]. There was one other response from that mod called into question by the post this one responds to, but I will cover that in the following section Accusations.

The conversation, without question, was misogynistic and sexist, and harmful.

Overall, the reductive and infantilising way that women and AFAB people were discussed by the user censored in brown was, without question, misogynistic and sexist. The way that sexual assault and violence was discussed by the user in brown was gross, ignorant, and perpetuated harmful beliefs on the subject, particularly where men and other AMAB people are the victims. In all instances, the user censored in brown was called out by other users and told that those statements were wrong. (I did not include that in the second screenshot above, as I feel the first screenshot adequately represents the general response. Once again, you can read the full conversation from start to finish [here]).

Again, there was no transphobia present in the user censored in brown's discussion, only the omission of non-cisgender and other nonbinary genders when discussing a given gender. There were NO direct attacks made against transgender and nonbinary people that invalidated them.

(Screenshot 6)

It should also be noted that the user censored in brown openly admitted ignorance in the matters of gender, gender expression, and other topics discussed, and expressed willingness and desire to learn.

(Screenshot 7)

This does not take away the hurt and harm of their statements, and whether true or not, it should still be noted.

Accusations: The Post

The post made a few other accusations against us, which I will now address. Some will be covered in this section, others will be covered in the following section on Actions.

We did introduce a new policy "not to talk about 'controversial topics' or get into arguments," [Paragraph 2], however, it is not a numbered rule. This will be covered in the Action section, but that was not all that was done.

Paragraph 5 is somewhat true. As detailed in the previous section, the transphobia was not present, trans-exclusion was barely present the omission of non-cisgender and nonbinary genders, but, one section of the conversation was overtly misogynistic, sexist, and ignorant. The main core of the problem was misogyny, and the harmful way in which sexual assault was spoken of. At no point were any direct attacks and invalidations made against transgender and nonbinary people or characters.

eventually, i shut it down by saying that this was not the appropriate venue for a transphobic cis person to get educated about the nuance of the trans experience and trans issues, but what he was saying was transphobic and he needed to stop now that he'd been told that. [Paragraph 6]

The above approximate statement made by the author in the server during the incident is pictured in Screenshot 7.

"After I shut things down for good," (the alleged shutting down is [here] on 10/02/2023 09:26), is misleading. The conversation did end shortly after that on 10/02/2023 09:53, 27 minutes later [Source], after more mod intervention, but not before veering into race representation in general fiction and the whump community.

The statement, "throughout this interaction, mods were emoji-reacting and responding to other things. at no point did any mod step in to help me or shut down the 'transphobia' or at all intervene in what was happening," [Paragraph 7], is false.

Two mods were present and attempting to mediate, and towards the end, got more explicit in their requests to change the subject and shut the conversation down. The author of the post in question mentioned that the mods didn't respond to the transphobia while it was happening, but given the timing of the messages, and that people, including the mods, cannot be present for every single second of a conversation, that is an unfair and untrue statement.

The first harmful statement made by the user censored in brown was made on 10/02/2023 09:08 [Source] and the mod censored in orange stepped in and requested a subject change at 10/02/2023 09:15 [Source], 7 minutes later. At the same time, that mod was stated to not be at home, and was also organising a media stream [Source]. They also notified the mod team of the issue [Source].

(Screenshot 8)

(The above screenshot is in the mod channel of WLC).

The reactions would have partly been to show that the mods have seen up to certain places, perhaps agree with certain points so that the present members could anticipate a reaction without further perpetuating the conversation, and were going about their responsibility to catch up with, and deal with the situation. Mine were for those purposes, especially considering I was asleep and commuting to work at the time the incident occurred, and caught up when and as I could. It is not fair to say we did nothing at all when we did not respond instantaneously, and when it is also untrue.

Additionally, I speculate the direct response to the transphobia the author of the post in question would have wanted was a direct, verbal, public denouncement of all of those statements made by the user censored in brown, and the user themselves. When other users had already done that, some quite eloquently, it would have been both unnecessary and harmful for one or more mods to have participated, especially when the present mods were already busy handling the situation behind the scenes with the rest of their team, and the current #1 goal at the time was to end the conversation, not perpetuate it. It would have turned into dogpiling, which is unbecoming of the professional way the mod team is expected to act and handle situations when they are doing their jobs, and it is damaging to a potential future ally, perpetuates the incident, and is generally unfair.

We cannot allow the dogpiling of any person or member, even when they're in the wrong, and especially not by the mod team, because that could turn into us dogpiling anyone we disagree with, and then it could happen to anyone we dislike. An authoritative group who acts irresponsibly like that is not one you want in charge of any community space, nevermind one as large and as diverse as the WLC Discord server. I am sure those of you reading can understand the reasoning.

Also, to touch on the claim of ignorance and desire to learn; in the name of fairness, the mod team must put aside our biases and opinions. As there is no way to prove nor disprove the truth behind those claims, we must therefore act in good faith, especially when so many allies have similar beginning stories.

Paragraph 7 also mentions a seemingly questionable quote from the mod censored in orange. The Author of the post stated:

after i shut things down for good, one of the mods said 'thanks for keeping everything respectful’ which was a truly laughable thing to have said in that situation. [Paragraph 7]

This is mostly true. The mod censored in orange did make a similar statement, however, it was not a direct quote, it certainly wasn't sourced in the post, and the misleading nature of the first clause of the above quote makes an implication that the author of the post was the only one to do anything about it, which is incorrect.

(Screenshot 9)

Read it in full context from [here].

This message was sent after a subject change request from the topic covered in the subsection Misogyny, and Harmful Statements on Sexual Assault and other Violence Against Women vs Men, made by the same mod, to which all of the current participants agreed to and did not rebuke [Source], but did not obey.

As counterintuitive as this seems, there was a reason for this wording.

When asked about the intention behind that message, the mod in question responded that their intention was to thank the members involved for respectfully responding to their request and not arguing it.

(Screenshot 10)

(The above screenshot is in the mod channel of WLC).

They also added that they acknowledge that the conversation was not especially respectful, but were using that wording as a de-escalation technique commonly used in the workforce, as well as thanking the participants for not actively and directly harassing each other.

10/11/2023 23:37 It was just like… ok they haven't exactly been all that respectful, but they haven't been actively nasty either, so I'll just say thank you before asking them to move on. You say "thank you for your consideration" or "thank you for the respect" even if there was neither of those things [Source]

It was ignored, but users did not express animosity toward the mod censored in orange.

The following statements will be addressed:

"i was blamed for causing drama, essentially," [Paragraph 2]

and

"[The server owner] blamed me for what happened because i refused to allow rampant transphobia to proceed unchecked." [Paragraph 10]

You did not receive any direct blame in any channel, nor was the announcement (Screenshot 21) aimed at you specifically. You actually handled yourself extremely well without attacking anyone, and given the situation, that is genuinely commendable.

(Screenshot 11)

(The above screenshot is in the mod channel of WLC).

Yes, there was indirect blame in the announcement, but it is spread among every participant, including you, irrespective of if they were right or wrong, because they were all to blame for disobeying multiple direct mod rulings (see the Actions section for evidence), to end the conversation and change subject. The team decided singling out individuals, especially publicly for this, was not the right move. This is the reason that it was stated in DM conversation from the owner that the user censored in brown was not the only one at fault.

Relatedly, the announcement never said that calling out transphobia [referred to in Paragraph 13] is wrong. It took issue with the fact that no one obeyed a mod ruling, which resulted in the elongation of the incident. If it had been obeyed, it would have been over much faster and with far less hurtful statements.

According to Paragraph 11, asking why someone left a server is weird. Asking for feedback isn't weird, even Discord will ask you why you have left a server with a little survey. Anyone who has spoken to the server owner person-to-person for more than five minutes would know that they value and are always looking for feedback. Asking why a member left, especially after an incident like that, could be coincidental or related to the problem, therefore, they were seeking clarification. Gathering feedback is not weird.

Additionally, I have never known the server owner to "whine" or "throw a fit." Frankly, the statement is extremely insulting; especially when it is backed up by nothing, not even a transcript or approximate quote.

Paragraphs 14 and 15 express discontent with the mod response. I will respond to this personally for one moment because I was one of the mods the author of the post DM'ed, so please forgive the coming bias and informality, I will do my best to mitigate it.

The author of the post expressed satisfaction at the time with their interactions with me.

(Screenshot 12)

(The above screenshot is a DM).

I also was not "unwilling to do anything in the moment," [Paragraph 15], nor were the mods. I was asleep and going to work, while they were trying to end the conversation. I most certainly did not "[fail] to do anything after the fact either," [Paragraph 15], and nor did the other mods. Direct actions will be covered in the next section Actions. Additionally, if you look at the dates on some of the screenshots, you'll find that they are after the incident. In fact, most of the discussion happened after as those who were not present caught up and then started the process of discussing what actions to take. I was working very hard after the fact to get the response I thought was needed, so I do not appreciate the sentiment with which that statement was made.

the mods i spoke to also got defensive and upset when i pointed out that by not expressing disagreement with the owner’s actions and by throwing up their hands and saying 'oh well, nothing we can do!’ [Paragraph 15]

False.

I did express disagreement and discontent with some aspects of the way the incident was handled, but, in your hurry to accuse us of transphobia and bigotry via 'silence,' you have forgotten that I am part of a team that assisted the server owner, and we did not have the final say. As a team, we all expressed our opinions and what we thought should be done, but at the end of the day, we, and I certainly, will respect the ultimate decision, and will not betray the trust of every team member and the server owner by taking matters into my own hands.

As a team, we collectively agreed among ourselves on possible actions, and that was the advice we delivered to the owner.

That is how a team works.

The complaints of Paragraph 8 and 9 will be discussed further throughout the post.

Action: What was Done About the Incident and did it Work?

Subject Change Requests:

During the incident, four subject changes were requested, but were ignored.

(Screenshot 13)

Another subject change was requested only minutes later, (see Screenshot 9), however, conversation on the previous topic continued.

(Screenshot 14)

See also: Screenshot 7.

Eventually, conversation switched to POC representation in whump and fiction, another subject that could potentially lead to a discussion with harmful statements like this one.

The last explicit mention of the previous topic occurred on 10/02/2023 09:30, 14 minutes after the previous subject change request at 10/02/2023 09:16 [Source].

Another two subject change requests were required during that following convesation before any further issues arose.

(Screenshot 15)

Several hours earlier at the subject of whether or not to tag character gender, the mods left a subtle hint that a subject change may be appropriate made by the orange and purple mods, which ended up being too vague, so it will not count toward the total number of subject change requests during the incident.

(Screenshot 16)

Mod Response:

The mods censored in orange notified the team (Screenshot 8) when the user censored in brown started posting. The team then responded in the mod channel, calling for a warning or another similar level of punishment to be issued. However, as we are spread across time zones, it was difficult to reach a consensus right away. Here are just a few snippets of the discussion:

(Screenshot 17)

(The above screenshot is in the mod channel of WLC).

(At the time, the user censored in brown had no introduction, so their approximate age was unknown).

(Screenshot 18)

(The above screenshot is in the mod channel of WLC).

(Screenshot 19)

(The above screenshot is in the mod channel of WLC).

(Screenshot 20)

(The above screenshot is in the mod channel of WLC).

Announcement:

There was a lengthy discussion among the mods about whether or not to issue penalties (that will be discussed in the Penalty subsection). Many of the mods agreed with me that two participants (not the author of the post in question) should have been reprimanded and/or spoken to in some way. However, it was collectively decided not to go this route, and, as a member of the team, I respected the decision. In light of this, instead of penalty, we pushed for an announcement, which we got.

(Screenshot 21)

Rule Change:

In response to the ignored subject change requests, a rule was created to give mods the enshrined power to request and enforce a subject change requiring immediate adherence by all users in case a situation like this arises in the future:

5. If I or a mod asks you to change the subject, do so immediately. There should be no further discussion of whatever it is by any of the participants. If you’d like to know why you were asked to change the subject, dm [the server owner] [Source]

The announcement also advised against discussion of discourse, and other meta and/or controversial topics within the server. The reasoning was that this incident stemmed from a topic surrounded in discourse, and we are not interested in being a space to discuss those topics because it only leads to situations like this. There is no explicit rule banning meta and discourse topics, however, the mods reserve the right to end the conversation if necessary.

Mod Power Increase:

As a mod team, this incident was the first real test of how well we work together as a team. We were a new server, and the mod team was relatively new, so it was very difficult for the owner to gauge how well things would run. Behind the scenes, every mod handled themselves well, gave their honest advice, and respected the collective. Seeing this, the owner's faith in us increased, and as a direct result, mod powers were increased across the board.

As a direct result, the mods have more influence over decisions, and mod powers were increased across the board. In addition to the new rule on subject changes, a select extra couple of mods were granted kick and ban permissions to deal with any violations of the rules should the owner be unavailable.

There is also a jail role which every mod is able to utilise in the event of the kick/ban powered mods being unavailable, or if a user incurs a punishment where a kick or ban would be too harsh, and a strike inadequate.

Penalty:

To address Paragraph 12, the user censored in brown indeed received no official punishment for breaking Rule 1 (despite the strong advocacy for one).

The user censored in brown left approximately one month later, on 16/03/2023.

(Screenshot 22)

A ban would have been too harsh given their admission to ignorance and expressed desire to learn and do better (Screenshot 7), which we cannot ignore. Therefore, they should have received a strike for their appallingly sexist and misogynistic statements. Nothing further would have been required as the immediate response from other users in public, in our opinion, would have made it enough.

As a whole, we recognise the mistake concerning the lack of official penalty, and we strive to do better every single day by regularly refining our policies and protocol, and recognising the signs of an incident faster.

This said, the consequences for the user censored in brown are not null. If they were to get involved in another incident, the consequences would be immediate and harsh because of their actions in, and our learning from the incident in February.

The user censored in brown returned on 29/09/2023 [Source] with no incidence.

Additionally mentioned in Paragraph 12, the owner had every right to "whine," [Paragraph 12], as you say, about the assumption that nothing was done about it, because that is wrong, and it was very insulting to the mod team, including myself, who worked hard to make action and change happened following the incident.

The Insinuation what WLC is Unsafe for Queer People and Other Minorities

... Is incorrect.

We do not "actively [enable] bigots." Four attempts at shutting down the conversation were made by the mods present, but participants did not obey them. (This made everyone participating in the subsequent conversation at least partly to blame for the incident).

Furthermore, the statement "no rule was present to begin with making clear that bigotry was not tolerated, nor was one added," [Paragraph 9], is false. I would have thought that that Rule 1 was sufficient because respectfulness always excludes transphobia, homophobia, misogyny, and other bigotries.

1. Be civil, be respectful, be chill. No slurs are permitted in the server. [Source]

Additionally, there is a rule stating:

8. If you see anyone violating any of the above rules, or if you need an immediate question answered, feel free to @/Caretaker (Mod) at the site of the issue, dm [the server owner], or put it in #help-box

This can happen at any point in the conversation, including if there is no mod present, of if you don't think enough is being done.

The incident could still have been handled far better, but that does not make us a dangerous server, and that certainly doesn't mean we "actively [enable] bigots." At the time, we were still a relatively new server, some of us were inexperienced, and that was our first incident, (which is not to excuse my point). To have something of that severity happen as our first test was startling, however, we have learnt, and continue to learn and grow through continuous hard work and improvements to server policy and mod protocol.

I can say with full confidence that should a similar situation arise in the future, the response will look very different.

Sources: Is the Call-Out Post Reliable? Is this Post reliable?

The Callout Post:

No, the callout post is not reliable.

In addition to everything covered so far in this response, the original poster cannot reliably speak for the current state of the server, as they left on 16/02/2023, within a week of the incident (approximately 9 months ago)

(Screenshot 23)

The post in question was posted on 06/11/2023, approximately 9 months after the referred incident, which occurred on 10/02/2023. The timing indicates that it was a response to the advertisement in the Whumptober Discord server, which was posted 05/11/2023 (and was since taken down by the Whumptober mods who were linked the post in question).

Given the timing and the personal stance the post takes, I question the author's focus on grossly exaggerating their allegations of transphobia and failure to get what they wanted, rather than directly calling attention to the far more alarming and explicitly harmful statements regarding sexual assault. This post, which is seemingly designed to gain traction and support on Tumblr, almost completely ignores that and chooses to attack the server owner and management instead.

The author shares their personal experience and then tells everyone reading it to side with them without letting them decide for themselves using real evidence. It is almost completely unsourced. It is anecdotal and makes use of recalled quotes and summaries with no links or screenshots to substantiate them. The promise of receiving screenshots on request is not good enough, and "[not wanting] to make this even longer," [Paragraph 16] is not an excuse for not including any real evidence at all. I would also like to add that it can be done with message links rather than screenshots.

With the presence of misleading statements and misquotes, it does not bode well for its reliability.

This Post:

Is this post reliable?

I have done my very best to provide accurate and minimally biased explanations of what occurred (or if I did find myself responding to something personal, I alerted readers to possible bias), backed up by as much information and as many links as I possibly can so that any reader may access the evidence behind my claims and responses. I have also stated my affiliation with the server.

It is up to the readers to decide for themselves whether my post is reliable.

So, now we Know what Happened, Are we a Transphobic Server? A Conclusion

No.

@whumplovers-collaborate is NOT a transphobic Discord server, nor do we allow other harmful behaviours and statements to be shared within it.

Not one of us in management is transphobic, misogynistic, or bigoted as the post accused us, and not one of us supports or endorses it.

The actions of one member do not speak for an entire server.

One incident does not speak for an entire server.

While it could have been better handled, action was undeniably taken, and we have since learnt and modified policies and mod powers to ensure a faster and better outcome in the future.

This incident has also helped us realise the kind of space we want to be. Instead of a divisive and uncomfortable space rife with meta discourse, we want to be a space dedicated to the love of our craft, and the enjoyment of our hobby.

We are all here because of what we have in common; our love of whump.

Every day, we get closer to our ideal through the hard work and dedication of the mod team, and the server owner, without whom, this server would not exist.

We are very proud to report that there has been no incident since.

My Extremely Biased Conclusion

Before you spread the post that warns the "server is unsafe for trans people and the server owner is actively enabling bigots," [Paragraph 3], I urge you all to decide for yourself the quality of WLC based on the sources, the actual incident, and your own research, and your own experience, rather than a word-of mouth post from a disgruntled ex-member who has not been a member of the server for 9 months (and counting).

I also have a couple of questions:

Why on earth would a mod team where the non-queer members are the minority allow transphobia to fester in their server?

Does one incident make an entire server transphobic and unsafe?

Does a single member speak for the quality of the server and its community as a whole?

Who of you actually DM'ed the author of the post and requested evidence before you spread it?

Look up the definition of transphobia.

Have a think.

(These are rhetorical).

Also, to those of you who blindly reblogged this without doing your due diligence: shame on you.

In my opinion, it was a personal attack from a disgruntled ex-member who wanted the attention of a callout post on Tumblr, and you all fell for it.

Do. Your. Fucking. Research. Before you decide to slander and tear down the server owner, the mod team, and our server.

Do better.

Our server is not transphobic, nor bigoted in any other way. It never has been, and we are fully committed to making sure it never will be.

An Outro

Phew...

With all that off my chest, if you read through the whole post, thank you, I really do appreciate it. If you had a read through the sources too, that's even better :)

And I mean that genuinely regardless of the conclusion you come to.

With all this said, I will return to my dark little hole. I likely will not respond to any followup questions or argument on the matter, as at this moment, this is all I have to say, and making sure it was this thorough took a lot of time. I will not respond to any hate or harassment. Absolutely do not harass any member mentioned in the sources of this post. I will find out, and we will have words, that is a promise.

#long post #whump meta #discourse #whump discourse #whump community #whumpblr #whump discord #whumplovers collaborate #transphobia #important

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void-galaxy-shenanigans · 3 months

Text

We’ve never made (& never planned to make) a pinned post of frequently asked questions (FAQs) or important info but...here we are. After an influx of new people, I think it might be time to make a proper introductory post.

Heads up that this will be long because I don’t want multiple parts. I’ll drop a read-more line after the basic info so you can choose whether to read the rest.

¡Hi! We are the Void Galaxy (that’s a D.I.D. system name). We are a traumagenic system with D.I.D. Welcome to our blog.

We’ll start with basics, go over a lil history, & then have terms, tags, side blogs, rules, & FAQs (in that order).

So here is a masterpost for all of the info that y’all may need on our page.

Note that I’ll elaborate on in rules/boundaries: We don’t mind “spamming” likes & reblogs. It’s completely okay to do so on this blog or our side blogs 💜.

~Nico

~~~

Basics:

Profile Picture (PFP): ¡We didn’t make the art in our PFP! We got it from @nightcatssketchbook 💜

Body’s age: 24 years

Pronouns: he/they collectively, but headmates vary & we’ll attempt to remember to include pronouns with names when someone new posts.

We’re also all for being thrown a curveball (unexpected) pronoun, as long as it’s not she/her (very much doesn’t fit us) or it/its (doesn’t fit us). We may not like every one people use, but as long as it’s used in good faith, we probably won’t mind. Unless it’s a headmate who requests otherwise, or it’s Serenity (who uses they/she, making her the only headmate who still uses she/her at all; they’re open to curveball pronouns except for he/it), most pronouns are fair game. So...¿surprise us?

Gender Identity: We usually say nonbinary-ish man. Our lover offered boyflux / manflux and that’s the best specific label we have.

(We tend to explain our gender day to day very differently. Sometimes queer man, sometimes wizard/sorcerer, sometimes abstract concept, or something genderless/agender. It doesn’t stay still. The only thing we are not (even including Serenity, who is feminine-ish nonbinary)) is a girl.)

¿AGAB?: The biological sex we were accused of at birth is none of your business. We were convicted as a nonbinary-ish man as an adult and that’s what matters.

¿Number of Headmates?: We are polyfragmented and honestly I’ve lost track at this point 😭

¿When did we discover we had D.I.D.?: The journey began with undeniable evidence in early 2019. We were first medically confirmed in June of 2020.

¿Who is fronting for / writing this post?: My name is Nicolás Carriedo, but everyone calls me Nico and I usually tag myself as Nico on this blog. You can usually identify me from español being slipped in to posts, purple emoji hearts 💜, & sometimes ¿? ¡! and other tone tags (others use those sometimes).

I’m an age slider (my age varies from stress), but I’m usually 18 to the body’s age. (Sometimes I’ll be 5 or 7 or 9 or otherwise a little for a bit. (Similar to age regression, except my body in headspace slides to match and I forget everything that happened after that age, and it’s a D.I.D. experience & because I also age regress sometimes.)) As far as roles, I’m a frequent fronter right now, but I’m also a protector and trauma holder.

(Please do nOT call me Nick, I hate it and that’s not my name, & I won’t respond to it. My name is español / de España. I also have two dads and an older brother in system with me.)

~~~

History / where & when this blog began:

This blog began as a reblogging and sneaky backdoor-into-the-internet blog back in 2011 (was not supposed to have Internet or computers, so we used school computer labs and libraries), and became a fandom and shenanigans page back in 2013. In 2019 to 2020, it also became a bit of a healing journey & mental health page as we ended up with undeniable evidence that we were plural and needed a place to vent those feelings and discoveries that our biological (bio) family, and especially our bio parents, would not find.

Now it is becoming a mix of shenanigans and reblogs, and actual advice and knowledge and theories and discoveries, and sometimes a place where we mention or discuss witchcraft and polytheism. (I don’t know when it officially became a blog that people followed for the reassurance and theories and advice, but here we are.)

~~~

Terms:

• Plurality / Multiplicity (noun / adjective): refers to the fact that one brain & body has multiple people in it, whether they have OSDD-1 or D.I.D.

• System(s) (noun): the collective people sharing a brain & body, or identifying as a unit. This can be two people or many. A system is a single group; systems refers to multiple bodies who experience plurality. Some systems also have subsystems, groups within the same body/mind that identify as or are considered somehow separate from the main system.

• Headmates, Headmages, Mindmages, Mindmates, etc. (noun): these refer to the people in a plural system. Each individual person is a headmate, mindmate, etc., including the host(s) &/or gatekeeper(s). The term in the DSM is “alters” but that refers to ‘alternate personalities’, which treats us as facets of a whole, like some monstrous Frankenstein’s monster, that doesn’t actually exist. Headmates/mindmates is akin to calling them roommates (we live together and share a space; we can be friends or family, but can also be strangers who never meet or strictly business partners or acquaintances or etc. & don’t automatically get along, so roommates encompasses all possibilities for us). As for mindmages/headmages, my keyboard auto-corrected to this once and I stared at it and laughed, and started actually using it because I loved the idea of magic & fantasy being interwoven with our existence. The most common term you’ll see us (& some other systems) use is headmates.

• Fronting/Fronted (verb - to front): the act of controlling the body & interacting with the outside world. This can be the person writing/typing, speaking, doing chores, taking care of the body, etc.. For some systems, this is like puppeteering from a distance, and others it’s like a computer or video game console, and there are likely other ways this is represented (all systems are unique).

• Front (noun): the physical/mental place from which we front (verb). This can be a blank space for some systems, or a house, or something more complicated. Our fronting space is currently a room that has computer screens to see outside (3 screens; peripheral vision (2) + central vision), and we control the body via PS3 remote controls like a video game. Sometimes there will be multiple people stealing one remote or passing it around, and sometimes there will be multiple remotes as we share control of the body & voice. There's a city around the building and all the buildings are made of a reddish brown brick. (I have a very vivid imagination so we have a vivid headspace that I built to make the space more comfortable.)

• Co-conscious (co-con) (verb / noun (place)): when a mindmage is conscious of the outside world, near enough to the fronting space to observe what the others are doing, but not in control of the body.

• Co-front(ing) (verb): when two or more headmates front together. There might be a primary fronter with others co-front, close enough to control the body &/or speak, or there may be 2 or more headmates splitting the controls.

• Mindscape, Headspace, Mind Palace, etc. (nouns): the physical place inside our mind where we go when we dissociate. If we dissociate a little we see the fronting space, but if we switch out or dissociate to co-con we can see different parts of it. Some people have a blank space or no visuals, and some have vivid &/or complex headspaces. Our mindscape is complex and vivid.

• Roles: these are the jobs that headmates may be assigned. They describe the tasks that person usually does. This can be a person remembering trauma the other(s) can’t handle (trauma holder), the person protecting the system or a headmate from further trauma (protector, persecutor), the person taking care of the physical body or helping the body cope through heavy emotions or flashbacks (caretaker, caregiver), or more.

~~~

Tags:

• # ~Nico, # ~Jack, or other # ~name tags — these are fronting tags. We may forget sometimes but are trying to consistently tag whoever wrote or reblogged a post in the post &/or the tags.

• # original art, # original photography, # original character, etc. - these are photos, art pieces, & characters we designed. They may be reblogs from our other side blogs, but they are ours. Unless marked, any photography or characters we reblog don’t belong to us. However, other people’s art with be marked with # not my art or # not our art

• # Liliana, # Liliana 🐱, # Lili, # Lili 🐱, # our kitty, # my kitty - We have a calico kitty named Liliana (nickname Lili). Sometimes we talk about her or share photos 💜. These tags mark when a post is about her.

~~~

Side Blogs:

@void-galaxy-art-stuffs - ¡art we’ve made! Some of this may contain triggering content / topics though, so scroll at your own discretion.

@void-galaxys-photos - photos we’ve taken. These are all taken on cell phones (most recently (past 3 years), Samsung Galaxy S8, Samsung Galaxy S21, & Moto One 5G Ace (Motorola)). We often take pictures of nature, especially clouds.

@note-to-self1119 - these are notes we need, directed at our younger self, but they may be helpful for others

@teaquotes48 - these are quotes I’ve found on tea bags when we drink cold/flu tea. Some of those quotes were just worth sharing 🤷‍♂️☺.

@wpffw - this is where we share writing prompts that are quotes or scenes from stories. Two or three are from our creative writing class in high school, two or three are ideas, and we occasionally reblog prompts/quotes, but the rest are quotes & scenes from our own writing. We hoped someone else may benefit from prompts in this style, after we discovered a lot of prompts were too vague or too specific or just...not inspiring or giving us ideas and that we write easier from lines out of books and TikTok videos and songs than we do from those. The blog name stands for Writing Prompts For Fictional Writers. It's a couple years old and has around 170 prompts. Prompts are primarily around fantasy & magic and queer & trans characters, & of course plenty of trauma & comfort trope scenes/quotes, with some exceptions.

@say-it-with-me-affirmations - affirmations we have written down for y’all to look through and benefit from

~~~

Rules & Boundaries:

• We are not a medical professional, or licensed psychologist. There will be questions where all we can do is tell you to seek professional help.

• Asks (including anon) are open. If you have a question we may be able to answer, ask. The most we’ll do is say we aren’t comfortable answering your question, or reply privately to your ask. You will not be belittled, mocked, or bullied for what you don’t know, and we are comfortable answering most questions around our plurality (and some other categories). If we have the spoons you will likely get an answer. It’s also okay to use asks to say hi, or to let us know our content helped you in some way (on or off anon). ¡We also post ask games sometimes and would love it if people participated in those with us!

• That said, hateful or cruel asks will be deleted and blocked. We may also delete other asks at our discretion. We are not obligated to answer every ask, and may choose not to sometimes.

• Our ask box is not a space for donation requests. We don’t have money to help anyone, and it’s likely our followers don’t either. We may boost existing posts, but won’t start a new one from asks. We wish you the best in getting that help, but that’s not what this page is for.

• LGBT+ hate won’t be tolerated on this blog, or our side blogs. This includes bioessentialism, trans-misogyny, trans-misandry, transphobia, enbyphobia, aphobia (acephobia, arophobia), biphobia, etc. Your replies or asks will be deleted and you will be blocked.

• Sexism, racism, and other bigotry (-isms, -phobias) won’t be tolerated on this blog or our side blogs. Your replies or asks will be deleted and you will be blocked.

• Free Palestine (stop the genocide), BLM, ACAB, and anti-capitalism. If you disagree with any of those movements, please block us and leave our page. If you argue any of these points, your replies or asks will be deleted and you will be blocked.

• We are long overdue for a full-scale revolution (pro LGBT+, pro ‘cringe’ / weirdness, pro true freedom, pro neurodivergent, pro culture, pro choice & for people making medical decisions about their own bodies (medical gender transitions / gender affirming care, abortion or post partum care, etc.), pro (better) therapy, pro emotional maturity, anti-racist, anti-capitalist, anti police / ACAB, anti occupation/colonization, anti ableist, anti white supremacy, anti conversion/assimilation). Either get out of the way or join us.

• Please please please reblog from us. We don’t mind “spamming” likes & reblogs. It’s actually very fun for us to witness / be notified about. If you like our content, 100% ¡share it, reply to it, send us asks about it! Engagement is not at all annoying or problematic. 💜☺

~~~

FAQs:

Q: ¿What does “medically confirmed” mean?

A: We have not been told if we have a professional diagnosis on paper yet. But we have been openly acknowledged by 3 different licensed medical professionals and repeatedly told to seek a D.I.D. specialist for a professional diagnosis.

Q: ¿How did you get medically confirmed 3 times?

A: After a year of therapy (first time around; ended June 2020), our therapist said she “[had] met 26 of [us]” and that she highly recommended we got to a D.I.D. specialist. (We did not know how to find, or have money for, a specialist at the time.) That means a professional confirmed our existence. This happened again with our new therapist (began August 2023), who has already distinctly met 3 of us (me, Lucca, & Serenity). We know because we’re getting more comfortable openly presenting as plural; I usually wear blue (shirt + button up / flannel) with the body’s natural hair, but Lucca wore a wig that looks like his hair in headspace and a green outfit (shirt + flannel) and Serenity (they/she) wore a wig and a dress with a coat over it that covered up our chest (we agreed to let her not bind in the therapy room as long as they wore a coat to hide our chest elsewhere). Our therapist has also encountered (co-conscuious, has spoken aloud but wasn’t fronting) Jack several times, and this week she encountered Wolfe and Sylver for the first time. So that’s two therapists. And lastly, our psychiatrist asked about what the intake person had only noted as “hears voices” (I explicitly called it D.I.D. so that was rude), & I was honest. By the second check-in on meds, she explicitly asked us “who’s fronting today?” (she met me, Nico, before that but I was alone, & that time there were 3 others with me, no clue how she knew) & especially after that session (we were switchy and talking to eachother aloud) she agreed that she saw signs of D.I.D. and that we should seek a specialist when we can. Between all of those, that makes us triple medically confirmed. (Technically our current therapist has an intern shadowing her who has also seen and acknowledged our D.I.D./plurality, but she's not licensed yet.)

Q: ¿Do you believe that D.I.D./OSDD-1 has to be professionally diagnosed to be valid?

A: Absolutely not. Access to professional diagnosis is limited and often expensive. It can take up to 15 years (and sometimes several medications) to get the correct diagnosis, and the minimum is usually 3 to 5 years. I do think that self diagnosis should be careful and involve official research papers (using Google Scholar if needed, but preferably using scientific journals if you can access them), because (a) confirmation bias (believing you have something & ignoring any evidence to the contrary) & (b) there are similar disorders that may fit better. There has also been some stigma and misinformation spread on social media (and in movies) to be wary of. But I do believe that most self diagnosed D.I.D./OSDD systems are correct about their own experience and are completely valid.

Q: ¿Are there movies or TV shows where I can learn more about D.I.D. or see it represented? ¿Are there ones I should avoid?

A: Yes, if you take them with a grain of salt because they are still dramatized and may contain misinformation or stigma or other biases. Most systems believe Moonknight (a TV show on Netflix) is the current most accurate representation. But as far as avoiding representation, or being cautious to do high levels of misrepresentation or only representing dangerous & negative stories around plurality, please avoid or be careful with The Crowded Room, & Split & Glass.

Q: ¿Did you shatter/break as a child? / ¿How did you become plural?

A: (No.) The current most supported theory (supported by evidence with replicable results, but psychology is a newer science and not a hard science so not 100% proven) says that everyone is born with identity fragments. These fragments integrate with a single identity and memory at 9 to 12 years old, in healthy childhood. This creates a multifaceted personality, or the phenomenon of people being a different person with their family vs coworkers vs lovers. When a child forms plurality (D.I.D./OSDD-1), repeated trauma (mixed with severe trauma, or smaller trauma compounding) prevents these fragments from fully integrating their identity, memory, or both. These fragments get separated by amnesia walls (they forget about one another, forget about memories or separate identities or both, & can't access or integrate with one another), which then forces each individual fragment to form its own multifaceted identity. The difference between 1a, 1b, & D.I.D. is the degree of identity separation / distinctly different people and the degree of amnesia (forgetting trauma, day to day events, &/or switches). The identity & memory separation cannot be from religious or cultural experiences (e.g. shamanic practices or religious trances) and has to be persistent (the minimum observation time prior to professional diagnosis is one year). It's usually a covert disorder, but if someone discovers their plurality it can start to reveal itself in more obvious ways.

(Spirit (one of our headmates) actually wants to combine these into one label, something along the lines of ‘traumatic amnesia with plurality’, & (similar to autism) have what is now separate diagnoses be scales under a single label (degrees of identity & memory separation), but unless that happens they are considered three separate and related disorders.)

~~~

If you actually read this far, thank you so much, and welcome to our page! 💜

¿What song, band, or playlist saved your life when you were at your lowest?

(¡tell us asks, replies, or reblogs if you want to!)

(My answer: Citizen Soldier (Let It Burn, Would Anyone Care; ICU, You Are Enough), but also sometimes Simple Plan or other bands/songs.)

~Nico

#masterpost #~Nico

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lyloneliness · 2 months

Text

This will have nothing to do with bsd and will be very personal so those who follow me for bsd stuff you can stop reading if you want ₍⸍⸌̣ʷ̣̫⸍̣⸌₎

Actually, I don't think many remember, or have even read the tag game (edit: my bad, it was an ask) in which I said I actually have something similar to a Dissociative Identity Disorder.. Well, even if no one reads this I just wanna put my thoughts down so it's okay anyway.

I just realized that now that I'm dissociated, what is 'me' as an alter (alternative personality), or more as a person is supposed to be way more defined... Or restricted in a way. I was always a weird person, with many changes of heart, of moods, of likings and other stuff... Well, in everything really.

Back then, if I was to use only one word to define myself I would always answer "changing", or "inconsistent". One time I even got very upset at my parents and cried because they said it was a bad word, a bad thing, that I shouldn't describe myself as inconsistent... I felt like they rejected the fact that I am like this, or just basically, like they rejected me.

Anyway, now I know that it was because the different parts of 'me' that were supposed to assemble in one identity at the end of early childhood didn't assemble like with most people, those who don't struggle with severe dissociation. And with people with a 'complete' DID, they don't assemble at all, and one becomes the main while the others appear later in life to help the 'whole person'/system navigate in life, adaptating to situations by switching. But for me it was just like a child doesn't knowing how to combine many things to make a proper collage just taped a ripped sheet of paper together to vaguely maintain it, faking it being whole.

That's why I was like that, I was literally different persons stitched together and coexisting throughout my life.

And now that each of us is separated from the others, and well defined, they all know what they like, how they are, who they are. Well, they don't even have to acknowledge it, they just ARE like that.

All but me.

I'm the 'main', the one to whom all this life is attributed to, the base of our existence until now. And all the memories I have are supposed to be mine. My feelings, my likings, my relationships, my behaviors.. But now I know most of them were the other alters', and I don't know anymore what I like. What is 'me' in all of this?

I don't know how to make the distinction. I don't know what I like, how I'm supposed to act like. The person I was supposed to be wasn't really me all this time, so the image I had of myself is crushed.. I always felt like I wasn't properly someone, I never knew who I was, so I made efforts. But turns out all the progress I thought I had made over the years to construct my personality just split at the same time as us, I'm back to before I constructed everything I'm supposed to be. There is nothing left for me..

I can't even say what my favorite colour is.

I don't have an identity.

I feel like a digital painting to which all the layers were took away to make a complete painting out of each, and all is left is the blank canvas. That's indeed a weird comparison but well, I'm supposed to be an artist so I couldn't think of something else.

I feel like I'm a middle schooler in the middle of an existential crisis when I'm supposed to be 19 in a little more than a month. Everyone always said I was a mature one, turns out one of my alters was 4 years older all this time, and now I can't seem to see things from a distance, cool my head and try to understand anymore. Everything is blurry and I'm scared. Honestly, I forgot what it was to be lost and scared. 'I ' almost didn't feel anything in a year and now I'm blending with a big mess of feelings that I don't even know are mine or not, and how I need to react to them.

I don't even know if I'm tired of being in this void, or sad, or disappointed by this loss of self... I drown myself in hypersomnia to avoid existing like this and thinking about what I'm gonna become and how I'm supposed to become it (well, I don't even know what I want to be to begin with.. ), only to have weird dreams that I don't know are whose since I switch even in it, and deciphering it all seems exhausting.

I don't know what to do. I don't even know if I actually want to do anything..

Well, this is all for the rambling! (≡^∇^≡)

I kinda feel sorry for anyone who'd get until here reading all this mess... If you wanna say smth or ask questions I'm all open really. Even if it's quite unlikely.. but yeah, "just in case", yknow (=ㅇ༝ㅇ=)

Oh! And something that made me laugh (bitterly but still) :

*Incoming screenshot of when I was writing*, for those with the blue theme like me

Auto correct didn't even consider this possible 😹😹😹

#not bsd #dissociative identity disorder #existential crisis #im a mess #?#and for once..#me #why does this word sounds so ironical now?

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preggodaddy959 · 6 months

Note

Do you have any recommendations for someone wanting to start a pregnancy rp on their blog?

idk if you're still around, I've been sitting on this one for a while trying to think of the best way to answer your question, so here it goes!

First of all--

DISCLOSE THAT IT'S A FCKING RP !!!!!

If you only retain one (1) thing from this answer, PLEASE let it be this one!!

Obviously in pregnancy rps, we're glossing over a lot of details-- the minutae, and the less than fun aspects. Sort of a suspension of disbelief thing. If you don't disclose that, people could read your posts and think that pregnancy is all uwu fun and cutesy and rainbows shoot out your ass when it is in fact one of the hardest things a human can go through. It also helps discourage people from thinking that because you're sharing intimate (emotionally and/or spicy) details about your "pregnancy" that it's okay to ask that of other actually pregnant people. I know others have spoken about this subject as well and if anyone remembers who they are, please tag them or link the post on this subject!

Lecturing about the proper division of keeping RP separate from IRL and such aside--

Let people know it's coming. Even if you're playing it as unplanned / surprise, giving people warning allows them to decide to tap out if they want to. This is part of why I like having a dedicated tag for it-- on this blog I used "summer baby rp"; on my actual rp blog I use a number system. Tags let people blacklist / whitelist if they need to, and also helps keep things organized.

I like to encourage participation. I do little "AMAs" and answer questions and include updates about my "pregnancies." I also think it got a lot more fun when I posted throughout the birth (if you're including birth in the rp itself).

If anyone else has any thoughts on the matter feel free to chime in! And OP if you're still around and wanting to do it, I hope you have fun and keep us in the loop. I for one would love to play along!

#answered ask #fake pregnancy #pregnancy rp #pregnant rp #labor rp

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aziraphales-library · 2 years

Note

Hello! So sorry to ask this if there is a tag and I overlooked it, but do you know fics where Aziraphale and Crowley just hang out?

To specify maybe watching a movie, going on a date, finally having that picnic they were talking about, just them enjoying each others company and having some peace and quiet :)

Can be just platonic or without an established relationship, and again, if there is already a tag or it's somewhere and I just didn't see it there just tell me!

Thank you for your time <3

Hi! There is not really a specific tag for this, but here are some fics in which Crowley and Aziraphale just hang out enjoying each other’s company...

starved for (your) company by elloquial (T)

He’s calling Crowley before he can fret about consequences and implications for another moment. The first three rings, which he listens to with dread mounting in his core, are torturous. But then Crowley answers, and his surly (awake!) voice is such a relief that Aziraphale skips hello entirely.

“Would you like to do zooms with me?”

(in which Aziraphale sets up nightly zoom meetings to keep Crowley from hibernating, and eventually re-evaluates his stance on quarantining together)

angels, demons, and poäng armchairs by lexophile (T)

“You did this,” Aziraphale accuses when he realizes that they can’t reach the bedroom section without first passing through the children’s furniture, kitchen, and living room showrooms. Crowley knows he’s mostly cranky because they didn’t stop for Swedish meatballs and oversized cinnamon buns. “This labyrinthine monument to capitalism has Hell written all over it.”

“Nah, you’re wrong. This is all your side’s doing!” Crowley retorts. He’s a bit miffed by the angel’s ingratitude. Crowley isn’t the one who needed new furniture, after all--his flat is full of menacingly artistic bespoke pieces. “I’ve seen Heaven, remember? It looks a bit like this. Besides, you can’t tell me that all this white space and the finicky organization system doesn’t reek of Gabriel’s influence. S’awful. I don’t know why you wanted to come here. You could have just miracled up whatever you needed.”

After the world almost ends, an angel and a demon go shopping at IKEA.

Relaxing 101 by fluffy_teddybear (G)

When the stress of Armageddon’t and its consequences become too much, Aziraphale and Crowley attempt to find a way to take a breather. Seven ways in which a demon and angel try to relax, if only life wouldn’t be so generous with the lemons.

A House in the Country by TheOldAquarian (T)

“Really Crowley, I can’t very well go and live with a demon until I get the next assignment from Upstairs-”

“It’s not living together! Look, there’s 36 bloody rooms in the place. You can take one wing and I’ll take the other. We’ll be no more living together than you’re living with those idiots on the fourth floor who don’t tune their piano.”

Aziraphale gave a shudder at the mention of these unmusical neighbors, then considered. “I have rather wanted to see the Lake District in summertime.”

He was going to say “This is an obviously silly idea,” or “We both know the Arrangement doesn’t cover holidays at the lake,” or even “I don’t want you to get in trouble.”

What he actually said was, “I think that would be delightful. When should we make the trip?”

Any Way You Want It by Justkeeptrekkin (M)

Saving the world is exhausting work. With Heaven and Hell off their backs, it seems as good a time as any for Crowley and Aziraphale to take a proper break. Neither one of them predicts the direction their holiday takes.

Who'd have thought that sharing a cottage in Scotland would be quite so romantic?

A Kind of Spooky Feeling by his_infinitevariety (T)

Having embraced the festive spirit last December, Aziraphale finds himself wrapped up in the spooky season this October, with Crowley insisting they celebrate the entire month of Halloween.

- Mod D

#good omens #ineffable husbands #fluff #holidays #travel #mod d

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polychaeteworm · 8 months

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Here it is, the long awaited pin post (will be edited later)

If I have followed you and you are a dark/horror/goth/traumacore or Saltburn blog, it was @neurotheascars that hit the follow button.

(currently only on mobile)

Hello I'm Orn, I'm the alien system host of a 31 year old human body with 8 alters inside, this is just my blog though. I'm a mixed media artist and I know more mediums then I can remember to count. I give advice compulsively so if you have a weird art supply question my inbox is open and anons are on. I know all about glue, polymer, proper glitter use, and UV colors.

Aro/ace-spec, into men as a man and women as a women.

I'm also a green wizard and I've been doing weird art based magic for about 11 years

On this blog you'll find a nice mixed bag of the following: Precambrian explosion and Paleo fun, speculative biology, green magic and experimental occult content, 420 weed posting, plants, pendantic info dumps, artwork(both mine and not), web 1.0 tech nostalgia and autism/did/disability content!

I was formally diagnosed with the demand avoidant flavor of ASD when I was 7 and can't live alone but remain very independent in spite of my support needs. I have lots of trouble wording things and as an alter I've become hyper verbal out of a fear of being misinterpreted. ABA therapy abused my system into having a pretty convincing mask so Sorry Not Sorry but I am a living breathing wall of text in this space.

Other bs I deal with- DID, hypermobility, fibromyalgia, dyspraxia, low vision/legal blindness, irlen syndrome, complex synesthesia, hyperphantasia, and really uncontrolled maladaptive daydreaming

I grow cannabis in a legal state and use it to treat my various issues.

I am posic and objectum about plants and old technology and that is liable to come out a lot on this blog. I currently have a courting/platonic relationship with a Philodendron Solleum Named Basaran and a committed platonic partnership with a large MFC office printer named Leviathan. I've had several committed romantic relationships with older computers, but currently don't have an alive and well computer partner.

Other blogs I'm connected to:

My irl human(dog) partner is @guromechanical TW: don't go here if you're not fucked in the head 18+

@neurotheascars Saira's side blog, trauma holding alter, goth aesthetics and vent posts. TW for syscourse, traumacore, unreality and blood/SH specifically. If you are a Saltburn, traumacore, or otherwise dark gothic blog it is most likely Saira that has followed you.

If Saira is co-fronting or informing a post here, it will be tagged with ⚔️

Saira has more severe difficulty with communicating and needs a bit more patience than me.

Finally:

Some things about interacting with me:

I sometimes struggle to reply to people in a timely manner, but you can always poke me for a response.

I never ask bad faith questions or make bad faith assumptions. I'm a safe person to talk to if you struggle to understand language because I have alters that struggle like that. If I'm not understanding something, an analogy usually helps.

I practice kindness and I will match your energy. I am a high empathy autistic and this means the worst name I'm gonna call anyone is an asshole and asshole is a title that is temporary and fleeting because even the humans I hate are humans who are alive and make mistakes. I dislike making people feel bad so I do not hurl insults. If you give me anon hate I'm just gonna wish you well. Anger is born of pain, even if misplaced. I receive rage like a wall, so don't bruise your fists on me please.

I try not to follow minors but if I have followed you for any reason and you don't want me to follow you just lemme know and I'll comply. No issues.

I prefer minors to not follow me, but reblogging @ing, hearting, ect is totally fine.

#pinned post #about #orn rambles

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rainytypology · 1 month

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https://www.tumblr.com/rainytypology/743184004363223040/guessing-riize-mbti

Hi! I saw this post, and I was wondering if Anton could actually be an ISTP (or INFJ or ISFP)? Like, hear me out (sorry if I made a mistake, I am not too involved in MBTI):

Se because he was a swimmer, a celloist, then became an idol and is into music production. And he even took part in the music production of a movie. This seems more like Se than Ne because Ne is more concerned with entertaining the possibilities/ideas while Se is concerned with actually doing things and interacting with the physical environment.

I even remember seeing a post where after seeing EXO, he grasped the opportunity to become an idol so he doesn’t miss out and regret later on, which seems like Se-Ni mentality imo.

And Shotaro and Seunghan even once said that while in the US, Anton had a list of things to do and when Taro suggested going somewhere out of the blue, he got upset and said that “when you go somewhere, you plan it”. I admit this made me think of him as an INTJ, but I don’t see Se inferior (I always look into inferior functions while typing someone). This seems like Ni, because of the specific vision he was pursuing (like the planning) and getting upset because of his plans getting disrupted by Shotaro (if Anton were a Ne user, I assume he’d change his plans and tag along).

And from his W Korea interview: “I made music out of curiosity because I was curious about what would happen if I made music while being exposed to good music.” This seems like Ni-Se behaviour. Ni speculates about how things would go and potential implications when it comes to a new idea. They are very attracted to abstract concepts or things that appear like a mystery to them. And I kinda see Se in the sense that he is relying on the external environment to guide him ahead (like the exposure to good music).

I don’t have strong arguments regarding Ti-Fe, but in the Talk Saxy reaction (especially Sohee’s bridge), he was more concerned with the production of the bridge, which seems like Ti to me since I feel like Ti is concerned with how things work, and they usually like to look into the internal process of a system. And maybe him not being expressive could be a sign of inferior Fe? He’s kinda like Eunseok but rather shy and soft while my man Eunseok took the stone in “silver stone” too seriously. But at the same time, I also don’t know about Fi-Te. Ti-Fe and Fi-Te can be hard to distinguish at times, hehe.

But honestly, Anton’s one of the hardest to type simply because of how shy and introverted he is. But I do think that he could be an INxJ or an ISxP. (And I will never forgive PDB for ruining his consensus cause there’s no way he’s an INxP, and most INxP voters don’t even have any proper arguments besides him being quiet and shy and sweet and caring and all and the whole vibe-typing which also ruined Wonbin’s consensus in the beginning)

(And I also feel like Sungchan could be an ENFJ or ENTJ, but that’s for another story)

Ooooh those are some interesting observations 🤔🤔 I was planning to redo my guesses on them someday, after I finish some of my other drafts first lol. But with your observations, he could be an Ni-Se user rather than Ne-Si... The only ones I'm very sure about are Wonbin = ISTJ and Shotaro = ESFJ. Eunseok seems like he uses Ti the most and Fe inferior...

But yeah you're definitely right about how he is a bit tricky to type considering how quiet and private he is compared to the others. He does seem to lead with an introverted function though. It hasn't been a full year since their debut yet, so hopefully Anton will open up a little more throughout his career and make it a bit easier to determine his functions.

Fi and Ti are the most confusing functions for people to differentiate, so don't stress too much about confusing those lol.

I'll take your observations into consideration 👍 I need to observe more RIIZE content for a better analysis

#ask #anon #riize #mbti #riize mbti

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nocturnalghoul · 1 year

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Mushy May Day 27: Game Night

A little something about the ghouls having a weekly ttrpg game (in this case Monster of the Week). Cirrus takes over running the weekly game and is feeling a bit imposter syndrome-y but the enthusiasm of her pack quickly shows her she had nothing to worry about.

I tried to make it rules-light enough that even if you have never played MOTW or any ttrpg it should still be followable.

Also a quick little tag for @ghouletteanon because you had asked me to way back at the beginning of the month :)

Words: 699

Rating: Gen/ Everyone

Read below the cut or on AO3 here

The ghouls have been playing their current Monster of the Week game for a few sessions now, and Cirrus was extremely pleased with how it was progressing. For a while Dew had been DM’ing a game of DND for about half the other ghouls, but they all had to stop when everyone's dice kept “mysteriously” disappearing. They pretended it was a mystery but really Rain was stealing all the dice that were pretty and hiding them around his room, and Mountain wouldn’t stop eating the others. Soon enough there were just normal standard bulk set d6s left so they decided to switch to another system.

Cirrus had taken over the helm of GM since they switched to the new system and it was a lot so far, but luckily the pack has been super supportive. Everyone finally seems to have a decent grip of the new rule system and character classes so she finally can start to get into the proper mystery. Running a game is a bit more nerve wracking than playing in one though and Cirrus has been struggling to keep up her normal collected confidence as she runs the game.

She finishes up describing the large sprawling labyrinth below the main city the characters find themselves in and starts humming the soft eerie notes of a melody faintly heard down one of the pathways. Once she looks up away from her notes she notices the way that everyone at the table, as well as Aether and Cumulus who were playing cards on the other side of the ghouls den are all looking at her completely enraptured. There is a sense of pride that bubbles up inside her as her confidence in her abilities solidify slightly.

“So, how do you guys proceed?” she prompts after wrapping up the haunting tune. Everyone just blinks at her for a second before remembering oh yeah it's a collaborative effort and getting back to the game. They explore the large labyrinth for a while, until finally getting to a point of interest that whatever monster they are looking for clearly just vacated, Cirrus laying heavy details of all the general mayhem of the area and the scuttering sound that while present before is now gone.

Sunny rolls uncharacteristically well in her attempt to investigate. As she composes her thoughts on what to ask, Cirrus can’t help but smile as she shuffles a few papers around. Luckily the way everyone tries to investigate leads to exactly what she was hoping for.

“All of the clutter in the chamber seems to point to one centralized area. In the dead center of it you find this.” Cirrus narrates beaming. She pulls out a wrinkled stained piece of paper with burn marks along the edges from a tiny wooden box and hands both items to Sunny.

“You made fucking physical props for this?!” Dew immediately shouts out, attempting to take the paper from Sunny to read aloud. “Shit Cir’ you are killing it. Making my old half-assed effort look bad.”

Dew reads what appears to be a diary page relating to the strange occurrences aloud. Just as Rain and Mountain begin to argue over what it all could mean, Copia walks in interrupting the flow of conversation.

“I know it is game night, but I really need to borrow Swiss for 10 minutes at most real quick” he sheepishly tells them. Cirrus begins to say that’s fine and that they can all just take a break real quick, but the rest of the people playing immediately launch into complaints about how important story things are happening and can’t Copia wait a little bit so that they can sort everything out.

Cirrus re-asserts that they can just take a break and watches as Swiss sighs and moves to follow Copia. “Fine, but nothing better happen while I’m gone.” he grumbles as the two walk off.

Whatever doubts Cirrus was having about her ability to run the game are squashed as she watches everyone playing last maybe 20 seconds before they launch into thoughts and ideas about what's happening based on the diary entry.

Swiss does in fact, miss out on a lot while he is gone.

#fun fact I didnt go into the module but Cirrus is running one I wrote :)#I can still catch up by end of month idk what you are talking about #mushy may #nocturnal mushy may #the band ghost #nocturnal writings

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drawnaghht · 1 year

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more thoughts on ship names (leosagi, sliderbunny, yuileo etc) - more is not bad

So I'd like to suggest a thought - multiple ship tags and names are not actually bad - it's more like a way of detecting what flavor the ship and resulting fanworks will be. let me explain more below. if this sounds a bit dated, that's because I wrote this back in january-march but noticed I hadn't archived it properly and that it needed a bit more writing to finish some thoughts so I'm posting this now, lest I forget it lol. maybe i have also already posted it before but... i cannot find this old version, so i guess not ^^;;

If you like the Yuichi x Leo ship, are annoyed at Leosagi being used as an umbrella term or are just curious abt another fan's thoughts on ship names, here-a we go. Some thoughts on the leosagi and leochi/leoichi ship names in general ^^

Some things are a bit more outdated: namely, transfem!12yuinardo has now been steadfastly used as a ship tag for transfem Yuichi x 12Leo, so kudos to that person! Thank you for making this unique tag more common!

resources used:

https://fanlore.org/wiki/Pairing_Name https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/IdiosyncraticShipNaming

Anyway, more under cut.

so, being in the rottmnt fandom for a bit longer this time (or being longer in a tmnt phase this time) and browsing the leosagi and leochi tags since august last year... has made me realize again that I really enjoy/prefer genfic most times? i like writing romance, but I enjoy writing action a lot more + exploring character writing in general, so that’s probably what my own crossover works will try to feature more too now.

being in tmnt fandom longer this time around, I thought that it was nice ppl still remembered leosagi, but I didn't expect a "new" version of it. Now, seeing thru the history of it (the RabNerd video on Leosagi felt like a nice refresher on TMNT fandom history in general and it’s nice to listen to) and going thru the tumblr tag (that and ao3 being sorta the only reliable archives on fanwork, with the exception of authors deleting their own work and tumblrtags not working as expected at times/finding hidden stuff), I think it's good we have multiple tags. Now about the tag I made up in september, "yuinardo" (I believe I already made two tagging-related posts thinking abt this tag/name way back in autumn 2022)

this YuiNardo ship name was mostly made as a portmanteau to make tagging and finding easier - for the ship Yuichi x Rise!Leo bc I wanted to differentiate it from Leochi/Leoichi but also the old Leosagi ship, because to me that was a bit different. at first I thought people would use the numbering system (03 leosagi etc per tmnt series airing year), but I started to notice that there was a lot more fanon with the ship this time than before. So when Netflix suggested the show to me one august evening after seeing the Rise movie, I started watching the series proper out of curiosity. as I’ve written before in a few places publicly (i think), the series was a bit slow and boring for me at first. But as I kept watching, I suddenly saw where the writing was going and what interesting things about its characters it was telling us. I got invested in the series for it’s strong family themes and how it handled its characters and story arcs, but also the music was something holding it all together for me emotionally. So I became a genuine fan and started reading more of the original Usagi Yojimbo comic too

one commonality I saw in many fanworks is that Yuichi is often changed a lot to fit a fan's own idea of who he should be as a character in relation to Leo or the fan's own setting/AU. This is fairly normal in fandom in general, esp for smth like TMNT. After all, why not play around in the sandbox given by canon? I also noticed fanworks often ignore the canon or worldbuilding set in his own show, and even the other prominent SRTUC characters get ignored/rewritten more than not. Or people make their own new versions with the same name. Which is fine, fanon!Yuichi and other fanversions are interesting. I usually like seeing redesigns in other fandoms and here they are interesting too, but I actually like the character as he is! He's funny to see fail but also fun/funny to watch/listen in general, especially interacting with other characters, whether main cast or one-off characters. He's a blorbo for me now who has taken up permanent root in my fandom/artist brain. I felt like he'd be fun to write in a shipfic or genfic with Rise!Leo bc their personalities are both so similar and so different. They feel like a strangely matching set, despite the shows never having a crossover (and despite Yuichi technically being a whole new original character for the show from the crew to avoid messing up the og Usagi cast too much). I want to write some genfic and Chizu and Kitsune centric fic one day too if I got the time.

Now after becoming a fan though, it’s honestly a bit sad to see people eschew his personality and writing completely - it feels fine that other fans are making AU and fandesign versions based on him, but this just means that when I open the Yuichi Usagi tags or search - I only find these fan interpretations but no versions where another fan is also a fan of the series. Which isn’t to say, that there aren’t other fans posting fanart, but that it’s just a lot less common that people tagging him as “TMNT usagi” or “Rise Usagi” etc. Some fans have said this is disrespectful to Sakai and the Samurai Rabbit crew - some even go on to hate the character (???) which like - it’s a cartoon. why are you angry at it. And these are often the older fans who are around my age (30+) or older, who are fed up with the younger parts of fandom - which I kinda get. I’ve even seen people make stuff up about the series, but I’m not really interested in pursuing that further because you know what. People have grievances about fandom stuff all the time. It’s pointless and a little mindless sometimes. There are so many bigger problems going on in the world. Fandom is something we are all supposed to enjoy. So to argue with another fan - I don’t have the energy to do that anymore. I might correct factual errors here and there, because that feels like it can be a courtesy sometimes. But I’m not interested in laying down blame or building some sort of longer discussion around things that should be fun, if they’re not fun anymore. Honestly, it would be nice if for once, the older and younger parts of TMNT fandoms could respect each other and get along. Like I’m not feeling hopeless about that but it’s just annoying to come back every 5-8 years and see people fighting and arguing about similar things. But that’s another topic entirely.

I don't honestly quite get the dislike of the character either, but I guess when I was younger, I would have been annoyed by a character like this too. (Foster’s Home comes to mind...where I hated Bloo because of his personality sdfsdfs but I was a very picky child with cartoons in generally) Personally, to me it seems ppl ignore the show and its writing bc of various aspects: besides simple dislike, it's easy to look at a newer cartoon show in a surface-level way; many still have this stance on cartoons that a "dumb kids show" can't be interesting or have substance; the show falls into many concessions to fit what netflix ordered of the crew. + audience tastes have changed over time - and no, not even talking abt just spiderverse, tho thankfully that has changed what more "general" audiences expect of both an 3D, animated film and a superhero/action flick. (cinemas here even listed it as a 2D animated film a while ago lol. it's a complex bag of factors but audiences + specifically distributors/studios are becoming slowly more receptive to 2D animation again. slightly.)

What may have been fun to see 10+ years ago for a 3D tv cartoon then, would not fly for viewers now. Even if we ignore internet-posting fans who do like it (who seem to be primarily teens and young adults up to age 24), and how popular the show was at it's premiere (3rd in the UK among kids?), there might be those in the target audience itself as well who do not like it for various reasons. Additionally, viewers are fickle about cartoons in general. So there are probably many more reasons people have to dislike the character and show that are related to other things. Again, this is just how fandom sometimes works. I’ve been in a lot of other fandoms before where I’m the only one who likes canon or likes writing canon-adjacent, exploring theories in canon etc and this to me started to feel like a similar situation. So I understand when people say the SRTUC fandom is kind of non-existant, if so much of the “fan content” relies on a ship. But saying as someone whose seen sort of “worse” at least there are other people at all and the tags mostly have fanart/fic and not other kinds of stuff, like spam or worse.

Whatever us fans' view might be however, he is still a valid character in the Usagi-verse, AU or not. I've read and listened to interviews with both Stan Sakai and the show crew, and seen artist portfolios with work from the show. The overall experience on the creators' side seems to have been positive. That, and I primarily view the show as a sort of transmedia storytelling venue... almost. It never takes away from the og comic and it adds an interesting alternative future to it, similar to Space Usagi, but as a fun cartoon. It becomes a sort of "gateway tent" for Usagi media and kids who watch this might be inclined to open up the comics, rifle through their parents old books and discover the world of Usagi Yojimbo proper. Like the comic, it also becomes a vehicle for learning for those willing to look things up later after the show, i.e. the yokai lore, customs in modern japan etc. So to me, the show is a net positive and Yuichi Usagi an interesting take on a Usagi descendant. The show is also interesting for me for it's casting (all asian-american cast. hello???) and staff choices as it seemed that everyone was on board with anything Stan Sakai wanted +they tried to put Miyamoto Usagi into the series as much as they could despite Netflix giving them a full limit (or almost a no?) at first - but the series writers and artists included him in an interesting way. So to me the series is good and as a fan, I can see it have interesting crossovers (a lot of the crew also seemed to be big TMNT fans and big UY fans at the same time)

Yuichi is headstrong, openly friendly and impulsive, but also the only one who notices things "outside of the box" more often than the rest of his team. He relies almost entirely on his trained sword skills and complete chance to get out of almost any situations. Leo is sorta painted as a "team clown" and "team faceman", (s1) always trying to make things more lighthearted in stressful situations, which starts to contrast his more strategic nature as we go on in the series. He wonders why he's not trusted (s2) but the thing is, most times he does not tell them his plans, even if they work, so he's seen as impulsive. Together in any shipping or genfic scenarios, I feel like they would feed off each other's lighthearted natures and impulsive instincts, but also work well together bc of how many things they notice, but also, rabbit brain empty, and Leo would be more cautious. That was what I initially kind of imagined for them when I first watched through Samurai Rabbit.

I had a big "mega-crossover" fic idea back in august which would also feature the 03 ship Leosagi, where I could both have a tmnt crossover, write fun action-adventure with the TMNT + Usagi kids and write some sort of neat continuation to what 03 Leo and Usagi might have been going through in a 13-year timeskip. But for that, I thought the tagging would be easier with og tags vs just trying to number leosagi again. Since Rise started in 2018, we often tag it as TMNT 2018, but Usagi Chronicles aired in 2022, (even if production started in 2020) so any attempt to tag it as "2020s leosagi" has just left me more confused. So a unique tag was needed for my own tagging use. I’ve helped make some smoosh names before and this just seemed like a fun thing to do in a fandom I was sort of new to (the ship and SRTUC fandom)

Oh also, I read thru the fanlore article linked above on pairing name conventions and I had totally forgotten some of the ways to make ship names bc I've become so accustomed to portmanteaus and "_shipping" rather than x (used both in general ship names as well as slash pairings) + (preslash or platonic) or even / (slashfic) just bc those sort of conventional ways to tag are harder to find on tumblr bc of its tagging system (special characters make tagging unorganizable or harder to use)

+ I've been more active in modern fandom spaces for only 13+ years, while stuff like ff.net was maybe confusing to use as a young teen. So again, some pairing naming conventions have sorta escaped me over time lol. So it would be interesting to see what else people start to use for this newer ship of Yuichi x Rise!Leo

Different kinds of names for one pairing are fairly common in any kind of fandom. Pokemon and YGO fandoms have put these on vote for example (thinking of doing this out of curiosity) but that would have to mean a more unified fandom I suppose? Having both a smoosh name (leosagi) and _shipping name (katanashipping) have stuck with the old ship and imo that should be respected because the ship conventions were there way before this newer ship or these newer series came about. I’ve seen many posts now where ppl complain about the tagging, especially the character tagging and the leosagi tag itself, because technically again, totally new ship. So to be a bit upset at that imo is totally understandable. imagine your favourite old ship you’ve been tagging the same is suddenly overtaken by a new, only vaguely related one? I also like the online shipping-related analogy: if you’re looking for a specific game in the store, why would a pair of shoes be tagged? or a different game? you’re only at the store for that one game, but now other stuff is being suggested to you because of other users’ tagging.

Considering those slash-ship naming conventions, I suppose I made the ship name to be more Yuichi-centric a bit - starts with his name, tho again, this was just one way to "flavor" the ship for me - but also specifically for the Yuichi we have on the show, because I enjoy the show and understand why Usagi is written the way he is on it. Mainly that he is given "annoying teen" traits to contrast the changes he goes through in the short time of the 2 seasons + he seems be written with intentional ADHD-coding. + I wanted something more lighthearted and funnier-sounding, so Nardo was added bc that is Leo's nickname on the Rise show that his family uses teasingly, mainly by Donnie. I thought that would make it unique. (And, this is more subtle, but I also thought it was more funny that Nardo sorta sounded like "Naruto" and that Usagi Chronicles has a few Naruto influences in its art and design, so, slightly matching in coincidence.)

But also Yuinardo just sounds fun and easy to pronounce + I cannot find any other tags that it overlaps with. Main use for tags after all - easy to find and unique - which I think is why the og Leosagi tag prevailed among the other names that popped up back then when the Leosagi 2003 ship first became popular online. I have no idea however if there was a ship for this before this, since I never went looking really (and there weren't much leosagi fic on ff.net then to get any impression of previous fandom activity)

If you want to continue to use Leochi or Leoichi as a tag, that's still fine bc its a big tag and more popular for this ship. But if you also like the Samurai Rabbit show, feel free to use the Yuinardo tag as well, depending on the the use ^^

Going through the fanlore article, I also realized that hey, actually having multiple tags/names is normal in fandoms! It's to make searching/naming for different flavours of pairings easier. I forgor. Let me explain.

the Leosagi as well as the Leochi/Leoichi tags sorta blew up in august after the ROTTMNT movie bc of new or returning fans rediscovering an old ship that's been a constant since the 03 fandom. and ppl posted fanart of the two versions in the tags before this too, but there was a notable uptick in those new fans after august 2022. I think when Samurai Rabbit aired, ppl posted fanart then too.

The SliderBunny tag existed already for people's own teen!Miyamoto Usagi x Rise!Leo versions and honestly, this could continue as an umbrella tag for any Rise!Leo x Usagi ships going forward, as "Rise Leosagi" has built up more as a tag. or "2018 Leosagi" whichever do you prefer

For 2003 Leosagi, Katanashipping exists bc it's unique to them (the katana-gifting scene in the 03 show) + it is a more specific name and tag, which helps to find it easier or make it more specific. + it just adds the extra flavor of knowing what went on between the two in the show. That was their last canon interaction as far as we know.

I want to also add here that the 03 version of Miyamoto Usagi is specifically very different. I remember reading an article somewhere which mentioned that Stan Sakai had been a bit upset w the 03 team that they made Usagi so young and different from his comics. I'll repost/add the link another time, but the main point is that the 03 pairing/friendship is quite different from both the existing canon comics and the 12!tmnt iteration of their friendship.

someone pointed out that the yuinardo tag could be for the ship Yuichi Usagi x 12!Leonardo but I do not see it that way for the above reasons. But what could be the name for that then? That's for the shippers of that ship to decide. I've heard some variations of smashing the names together for this like Luichi and YuiLeo (I kinda like that 2nd one myself), but they both sound a bit too much like real names to be tags/ship names.

I do not know the Yuichi x 12Leo name, but I suppose it could follow common convention of adding 12 in front, since that has been done before for people's own versions of 12leosagi as well, so thir's world and see what happens! so it'll be interesting takes off more. There is potential for both angst and comedy in this one. 🤔 what people will start tagging this onnce coed be 12leochi or 12yuinardo maybe even. I do not see it honestly, but I also did not continue watching much of tmnt12 after season 3 bc it was hard to see Leo go through Stuff(tm) again and I did not like how the show approached writing its female characters. So I don't quite get the appeal, but I think if fans see opportunities to write it in interesting/fun ways, why not. I headcanon 12!Leo as a transfem lesbian, and Yuichi reads slightly transmasc for me, so maybe that's why I don't quite see it bc my fanon ideas are a bit different for them ^^; + it feels like they are from different times from a "when it was made" perspective, the shows' vibes are different (12 is more horror-genre scifi a lot of times while SRTUC does not lean into its horror thematics as much as it could be the name for that then? That's for the shippers of that ship to decide.

the transfem sapphic version I know one person calls Blue Sapphics, which is cute, but idk if there's a common name that every shipper uses? let me know in the reblogs or comments.

anyway, larger point also; it's not so bad to have multiple tags (as long as you use them according to what's in the post) and multiple names - so that one tag (leosagi) doesn't have to do all the heavy-lifting and that fans who only want one flavor, can have that. tagging is more like a courtesy but it helps to make finding fanart/other fans of the same thing easier, but they often also follow what becomes commonly discussed and used among a fandom.

Sorry if this is super-duper long, I haven't been able to write normally since discovering the internet and that I could post on it and things just happen to get this long when I finally finish a writing ^^;

crunches my brain a lil as I make this post bc i have other stuff cooking in my brain

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