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chrysalis-the-butterfly · 8 months

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Katya: A Poem

"Goncharov" is a 1973 Martin Scorsese film that Tumblr collectively invented in 2022. I'd heard of it, but didn't take too much interest in it. It was only recently that I found out that "Goncharov" had a sapphic ship, between Katya and Sofia. That was what piqued my interest.

In a flurry of activity, I wrote a poem.

I am indebted to all the Tumblr bloggers who came before me, whose creations were captured in this "Goncharov" master doc and this collection of quotes. I hope you enjoy the poem I strung together from your posts!

If you reblog this, make sure to add the tags #unreality and #unrealism so people who would find it triggering don't see it. Remember to Gonch responsibly!

Yekaterina Mikhailova.

That was my name.

It was a name that meant nothing,

because I was nothing.

My father’s daughter,

my brother’s sister.

For a time, we were rich.

Then our father received a visit from his co-workers

in the mafia.

He came between them

and his daughter.

He died with a smile on his face.

For the next three years, we were poor.

My brother and I,

living – no, merely surviving –

together on the streets,

made a resolution:

never again would we fall so low.

Never again would we be so weak.

So penniless.

So worthless.

We tracked down our uncle.

Thanks to him, we joined the mafia ourselves –

me first,

my brother later, more reluctantly.

He learnt not to question what I did,

no matter how much of a father

he wanted to be to me.

I only have one mother, one father, one brother, one uncle,

but I could trace a path

from Naples to my childhood home in Moscow

with the blood of all the men

who told me they loved me.

…

Later, I trained as a spy.

It was in that line of work that I found Lo Straniero.

The stranger.

He told me his real name was Leonid Goncharov.

I chose to believe him.

What is marriage,

but a way to escape the names of our fathers?

When I walked towards Goncharov

at the altar,

I thought that would be the moment

I would finally become someone

real enough

to have flesh and blood

to call mine.

Perhaps the name Yekaterina

wouldn’t sound so empty on my lips.

And with those same lips

I called his name,

and smiled at him in front of God,

and kissed him in the dark of our room.

And all I became was his wife.

A wedding is no different to a funeral,

is it not?

The old Yekaterina died to Goncharov that day;

he took my name from me,

my very history,

and I allowed him that.

My husband is a man who collects things he can use.

A pistol,

a pocket watch,

a woman’s love,

a wife.

My father would have needed me to marry,

so I did.

Goncharov would have needed me to love him,

so I did.

I truly did.

Oh, I was a good woman, wasn’t I?

A wife when he needed someone to bed,

a sister when he needed someone to argue with,

a mother when he needed to cry...

Is that all women were in his eyes?

Actors?

Pretty dolls to dress up and spin around

according to his needs?

No, I shouldn’t be so harsh.

It wasn’t his fault

he could only ever fall in love with men.

But the way he treated me?

That was his fault.

I needed a new place to exist.

I found you in the fruit stand.

…

Sofia Ambrosini.

That was your name.

With your serpent bracelet twinkling,

you stooped to pick up the fallen apple

that had escaped my basket

and rolled towards your leg –

the right one,

the one made of wood.

I recognised from your false leg

and your false snake

that you were in the same world as me –

the same world of murder

whose space we shared precariously.

But in that moment

we could be two women in a market

shopping for two men,

me my husband,

you your brother.

Because it’s so hard to make friends in a world of murder.

But here we were in public,

under the Sun,

and just for a while,

we could pretend we were women

who knew each other from …

somewhere.

Just making friends.

Just leading each other into temptation.

It was the apple’s fault.

It was the apple that made me bring up Adam and Eve.

There we so many strange apples at that market.

I imagined the wild way they looked

was how they looked in the Garden of Eden.

But then you said,

“I never understood why it had to be an apple.

Why an apple?”

I answered, “I don’t know.

Because it’s always been an apple, I suppose.

It’s easier to recreate in art.

All the painters and sculptors

and everyone else who makes those choices,

they all came together and decided

that an apple looks pretty simple –

nice, smooth, round,

easy enough to draw in a tree –

and now everyone sees nothing but apples

in the Tree of Knowledge

ever after.

So it’s always apples.”

I will never forget your response.

“The dullest possible produce.

The Forbidden Fruit is supposed to be

something unusual,

something special.

All the knowledge of the world

and of each other

and of the realisation

that these two fools are

running around the Garden

with their bottoms bare

in front of the Almighty.

An apple doesn’t seem right for that.

It’s dull.

It’s a thing for pastry and postcards.”

“What would you pick instead?” I asked.

“Pomegranates,” you said immediately. “No question.

It’s the fruit that the God of the Dead used

to trick the Goddess of Spring

into staying with him in the Underworld.

She tasted the seeds

and she was forced to stay down there

for half a year, every year,

forever.

A fruit so powerful

it can trap a goddess

seems like the kind of fruit

that can banish humanity from Paradise.”

We paused.

We made eye contact.

“Tastes better than apples, too,” you added.

And it looks like a jewel

when you split it open.”

I ate a pomegranate panna cotta

in the bistro later that day.

And when I licked my lips,

I immediately understood you.

I did like apples,

but pomegranates?

They were amazing.

I’d go to Hell for them.

I’d go to Hell for you.

…

“Oh, it’s six already?”

Goncharov said to me when I returned home.

“The clock’s broken,” I replied.

“It’s been six for hours.”

If only time would stop for us.

…

I was raised Orthodox,

but Goncharov and I had been attending a Catholic Mass

to better fit in with the locals.

I was unsettled by the topic of Father Gianni’s sermon:

the sins of the flesh,

the importance of resisting Earthly temptations,

and the necessity of self-control in this life,

thereby preparing for glories to come.

Were there any glories to come?

You, Sofia, got up to leave in the middle of the sermon,

heading for the stained-glass Virgin Mary,

and you whispered as you passed,

“Take your glories where you may.”

And like the fishermen who left their nets

to follow Jesus

and become fishers of men,

I got up

and followed you.

I did not know how my husband felt about me doing that.

I did not care.

I started partaking of apples and pomegranates

in equal measure.

…

Sofia, you told me you had never even touched a gun before.

But you were clearly too skilled

when those men cornered you

and you took them all down.

Admit it.

You just lied because

you wanted me to give you that “hands-on” shooting lesson,

didn’t you?

“Are we not all murderers in some way, Katya?”

you said to me when I challenged you.

“After all, a human being is a heart.

Break that, and how can it go on living?”

I had to ask,

“Don’t you have a broken heart, Sofia?”

“It still beats, Katya,” you said, quietly.

“It still beats.”

…

For me, it’s always been the darkness I liked;

the way the lights roll off the water between the alleyways

reminds me of the past.

…

You were adamant in your belief

that all memory is treachery.

But one of my favourite memories

was us together in my husband’s house,

after dinner at the casino,

me in my evening gown,

you dressed as a waiter.

You’d asked, “What’s your poison?”

I’d answered, “Whatever you’re having, darling.”

For the first time since moving to Naples,

I shook off the white furs

and showed you my dress –

the woman

under the animal.

“You look good in red,” you said to me.

Then you called me lisichka.

Little fox.

Which should have sounded wrong,

a Russian pet name in an Italian accent,

but that night it sounded right.

I returned the compliments.

“And you look good in green,

kukolka.”

Little doll.

I gave you one of my pearl necklaces.

“Every woman should be allowed

to feel like she is looked at

beautifully.”

My husband’s voice resounded in my head:

“Time isn’t like your pearls, Yekaterina.

You can’t buy more.

You think you can own time by wearing it,

but it just beats itself into your bones instead.”

Well, no-one can tell me what I can and can’t buy.

…

“If I were cursed, Sofia,

then I would never have found you.”

“You could still lose me.”

“Never.”

…

I started being Katya,

being myself,

not because I fell into my role as Goncharov’s wife,

but because I discovered my inability.

My unwillingness.

I knew he cared for me,

but not beyond the presentation we put on for his peers.

The peers who could end his life at any moment.

And it wouldn’t be so unbearable

if we were at least still friends,

but all of that went to Andrey –

the friendship, the love, the care –

at least as much as Goncharov was capable of

beyond his own inadequacies.

Andrey could not live loyally,

so let’s see how he does in death.

…

I didn’t want Goncharov’s name in your mouth.

I should have taken his money and left.

It’s not obvious why I didn’t.

All this time wandering the wreckage of his house –

I’m sorry, Sofia, it must have killed you.

“Unlike you,” you said to me,

“I do not lure to cannibalise.

I watch, and I starve.”

I rolled my eyes.

“Well, stop it!

What do you take me for?

Stop watching and devour me in full already,

won’t you?”

So you did.

I must have looked like a jewel

when you split me open.

…

“I’ll stay with you tonight, if you’ll have me.”

“I wouldn’t have anyone else.”

I lay in bed with you.

We wanted to do so much,

but ended up doing so little.

I ran my foot up and down your leg –

the right one,

the one made of wood.

I thought of what I knew

(what little I knew)

about your past –

how your Jewish family came to Naples,

how you lost them somewhere,

how the Poor Clares took you in and cared for you,

how you searched for your family amidst the Nazis,

how you lost that leg in the riots.

“The world wants you dead,” I said,

more to myself than you.

You turned to me.

“Do you want me dead?”

I forced myself to meet your eyes.

“No.”

You shrugged.

“Then the world doesn’t want me dead.”

We stayed in bed together for a while after that.

…

We were always wasting time we never had.

How could I love something which was never there?

Oh, darling, that’s just grief.

Time is like blood,

and I have wasted both.

We could not go on forever,

could not fight the story,

could not step outside the marriage

or the mafia

or else.

We were animals,

and animals, whether wild or tamed,

cannot fight the inevitable.

“Time stops for no-one, Katya.

Not even us.”

…

“What’s on your mind?”

“Wishful thinking.”

“Sofia, I’m not cut out for the life you’re offering me.

That different life.

I am chained to my history –

a short chain.

That’s why I cannot leave with you.”

That’s why you and I

and my husband

and his lover

and your brother

and our enemies

are all in this boathouse.

November’s the cruellest month of the year,

and Naples is full of fools.

…

“Of course we’re in love!” I scream at Goncharov.

“That’s why I tried to shoot you!”

He laughs and cries at the same time.

“If we really were in love,

you wouldn’t have missed.”

He’s right.

Our love was a grenade,

and now all that remains is shrapnel.

He loved me, but only for a minute.

I don’t know if he could handle any more.

Love cannot be bought;

otherwise, we would have had a happy marriage.

When we got married, I drew this line

between us and the world.

He’s crossed that line,

and I can’t go with him.

He and I are,

I think,

finally out of time.

He has destroyed and betrayed himself

for nothing.

That is his worst sin.

My inability to be loyal to my husband

is what saved me.

And what now kills him.

What could now kill you, if you let it.

…

You are pleading with me.

“We can have the Forbidden Fruit

and it can be whatever we want!

Let it be a pomegranate!

Let us glut ourselves on it!

And why do we have to follow everyone else’s rules

about what is and isn’t forbidden, anyway?

None of us in this boathouse

are living within the law in the first place.

There is blood on everyone’s hands.

Can’t you and I sin a little sweeter?

Can’t you admit that the sin you want most

isn’t a sin at all?

Can’t you spit out the lies you’ve swallowed

in the Hell you found yourself in?

We could grow our own garden somewhere!”

No, Sofia.

This is my garden,

my Tree of Knowledge,

better the Devil I know,

and you wish you were my Serpent,

but this is my Underworld to rule

as much as any queen can rule there,

unhappy

but resigned.

Go, Eve.

Grow your garden alone.

The Forbidden Fruit is there to be eaten,

to force us to go,

to let us step outside the walls meant to keep us in.

But you just can’t make everyone eat.

The pomegranate is within my reach,

but I have lost my appetite for seeds.

…

I do what Goncharov would do,

and you know what that means.

Death.

Goncharov has never meant anything else.

I will die like my father,

with a smile on my face.

I will die for you.

You were once a little girl, alone and scared,

but that girl is long dead.

The Sofia that lives now?

The world should fear her.

Damn them as they would damn us.

But don’t you ever raise a hand to me.

…

Sofia, don’t cry.

There’s no use trying to rewrite the story now.

Sofia, get out of this boathouse.

Take my boat.

It’s fine.

I won’t need it anymore.

Go, zolotse.

Leave Naples.

Leave Italy.

Leave the mafia behind.

But take your two candlesticks with you.

Light them on a Friday evening,

and watch the red of the sunset

wash over the white of the candles.

Sofia, take your day of rest.

No, a year of rest.

Make every day a Shabbat.

Remember to bless yourself.

Sofia, choose wisely what you do now,

because it might be the last time you get to choose.

“All memory is treachery.”

I wonder how you will remember me.

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monsterboyfriend · 2 years

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YES YOUR GENDERBEND TAGS!! One of my pet peeves is when genderbend AUs completely swap personalities and interests, and I'm like, nah man! They'd still be the same at their core, but the most interesting part of the AU at all is how despite all that, the way they'd exist in society would shape them differently. Like even if KH is still a bit odd and cold, she's also cool and artsy, and ultimately an androgynous woman is more palpable to people-- whereas DK being more Masc ™️ with her athleticism and country-ness would put her more in the face of homophobia (but also likely less so with her female peers? So interesting! Would she and FH and the other athletic glee girls get along better??)

Okay so I feel like girl!Dave (Dawn/Dove/Danielle) has a similar backstory and starting point to my ftm!Dave post. She grew up a tomboy but faced more and more social pressure to be genderconforming, and as a result doubles down on performing femininity in exchange for acceptance and in order to hide/deny her queerness.

One phenomenon I've noticed with both afab trans/nonbinary people and queer women is this "girly" phase that sometimes happens. It happened to me as a trans man from the onset of puberty until halfway through college where I really REALLY wanted to fit in (especially as an autistic person) with other kids and with what kind of girl I was expected to be. I wanted to feel normal and boys didn't even accept me in their groups. Before that I'd always flip-flopped on my gender presentation. Being trans but not knowing it, my mindset was something like "I've gotta at least try this whole 'being a woman' thing and give it my all" ya know?

I've always thought that butches were often sidelined on Glee. Probably the only time I saw a form of masculinity that felt distinctly queer was with Dave and bear culture, and both were shelved for nearly half of the show's run. And there's Sheldon, but he didn't come out until season 6. The only butch lesbian character we got was Dani, who barely got to do anything. In S2 and S3, it's implied that Santana doesn't want to be stereotyped as a butch lesbian but the show never indicates that being stone butch isn't something to be humiliated over.

So that's a big part of why girl!Dave is so appealing to me.

Back to my headcanon for girl!Dave ( @angelhummel suggested the name Dove jokingly, but I honestly think that's super cute):

So I envision Dove as being very contradictory in her gendered behavior and mannerisms. Being a longtime friend of Azimio, they're often seen together bullying the gleeks and other "losers" in the same way as canon. She's always in her Cheerio uniform though, and almost always wears the jacket over it even on warm days because she's very conscious of her body. Her and Azimio date on and off but it never goes anywhere (Az is more aware that he's a beard than she is).

She's always been more of a teammate than a friend of most of the Cheerios because they used to tease her in middle school. Her and Santana fucking hate each other. She's pretty tight with Brittany though. Dove has aspirations of being the HBIC and Head Cheerio. She's a pretty talented cheerleader, but not as dainty-looking and "pretty" as the others, so she doesn't get as much credit as she deserves.

I feel like Dove would be more willing to join Glee than Dave, because I think Dave was more concerned about seeming gay for singing and dancing than being deemed a loser (although those two are closely related in his eyes). But when people think of showchoir, they don't usually think of lesbians, although it's not surprising when lesbians end up in showchoir. So I think Dove would feel safe enough to take a chance, especially since Dave (though he pretends not to be) is VERY interested in glee club.

She and Finn would have an interesting relationship. They have a lot of the same interests and they would both probably want to date each other at some point (for different reasons of course). He would also probably (eventually) be the first person she comes out to, and he wouldn't be disappointed about it because he would still be pining for Rachel lol.

I think you're right about girl!Kurt (Kate/Liesl/Katherine/Elizabeth) in a way about her being more palatable than boy!Kurt because you can't really tell by looking at her that she's a lesbian. Remember that Kurt never officially came out to the school; everyone just automatically knew because he fit the stereotype. With Liesl, she's definitely the kind of girl that wears fashionable suits, but that could be, like, a girlboss thing. She's always been a beautiful diva ice queen who doesn't care what anyone else thinks. I'd say her initial popularity at the school was comparable to, say, Lauren Zizes before she joined Glee. She still gets slushied for being in glee club, but she doesn't get singled out. At least, not at first.

After Liesl comes out to Mercedes and then her dad in a very different version of Preggers, she gets asked out by Puck and she's like, "fuck it, I'm gay" and word spreads and she gets a lot of sexual harassment. It's kind of like IKAG, except it's ongoing. Of course, it doesn't help that she doesn't have as scary of a reputation as Santana. This all happens shortly after Dove joins the New Directions so, in true Karofsky fashion, she nopes the hell out of there and says something incredibly homophobic on her way out.

I don't think she would single out Liesl like Dave did in S2, and there are two reasons for that:

1. Dove has already befriended Liesl and they were getting along very well. She has a crush on Liesl and is in denial but she's not angry about it like Dave would be because they have friendship to fall back on. And even before Liesl came out, Dove looked up to her and thought she was really cool.

2. Because she already knows what it's like to be subjected to homophobic bullying. Middle school was really tough on her in her tomboy days. So sure, if she's panicking or needs to save face, she'll casually say some lesbophobic shit, but targeted harassment would bring up too many memories for her. The cognitive dissonance would be too intense at that point.

But I don't know. Maybe she would go after Liesl. If she did though, Azimio would 100% call her out on her bullshit because he already knows that Dove's gay, thinks she's become a miserable person to be around due to her denial, and wishes she would just get over it and stop pretending to be someone she's not. Then again, he might do that anyway.

She would decide to rejoin the glee club eventually and apologizing to Liesl, but not before reaching peak bitchy, mean-girl cheerleader levels that would put Santana to shame.

In S2 after The Sue Sylvester Shuffle and losing her Cheerio status, she would freak out because she never learned how to dress herself heterosexually and has to ask Liesl for help, and there's a reveal at the end where she steps into the halls of McKinley dressed like a baby butch and it's so sweet I'm gonna cry.

I think that's it. Sorry if I rambled too much! I wrote this intermittently for the past 8 hours!

#glee #dave again #kurt hnngh #kurtofsky #lesbian kurtofsky #karommel #daveposting

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julemmaes · 2 years

Note

51 68 and 75 for the asks!

Thank you for sending these, they're such good questions. I'm sorry if you wanted the short, shallow responses, I'm not the type;)

51. Does what you like to write differ from what you like to read?

My first thought was "absolutely yes", because one way or another I always end up reading fluff or some kind of miscommunication-for-humor kind of things, or still, not what I normally write, which is mainly heavy emotional angst. But then I thought about my favourite fics ever (my forever top 1 being Noisy Neighbours, nothing managed to top that yet, you live rent free in my mind @thewraithsofmorhogg), and about the amount of angst and suffering and grief and all those very strong, sad, not-necessarily-bad emotions they contain, so I'm not sure? I also tend to read whatever people tag me in or what my friends reccomend, independently of what the story is about, donc yeah I have no idea.

I for sure like fics and stories in general that are very similar to what I write, but it's not always the case when it comes to the actual reading.

68. Are there any fics that influenced you to write the way you do?

This is so hard god, maybe I should have read the questions before reblogging that post:")

I don't know? Maybe in the beginning when I started writing again, a couple of years ago, there were. I tended to reread my favourite Feysand fics for inspiration, but the dynamics between the characters changed drastically when I went to write the same situations for Nessian (or any tsc pairing at the time), so it was kinda useless and I had to rethink it entirely. Even if it was just them cuddling in bed, eating together at a restaurant, I could try and make them act somewhat similarly, but they didn't seem right in so many ways, so I'd end up changing the story and the writing completely.

Now, it's not really about a specific fic, but more of the people I brainstorm with, that usually are @thewayshedreamed and @simpingfornestaarcheron. Or in general the girls from the gc. I think I get something from each of them every time, very similar to the way you tend to act like someone you're always hanging out with after a while: mimicking manners, using the same words, making the same facial expressions. I like to think that after knowing them for two years, all the things we've written and shared together in this time left me something yk.

Sorry I can't give you fic names, I'm so bad at remembering them.

75. Is there a particular fic that readers gravitated towards that you didn’t expect?

YES! HONEY! I WAS NOT EXPECTING IT TO BLOW UP LIKE THAT. I remember I posted those first 4 chapters in 4 days, updating such long babies in such a short time and my self confidence, as a writer but also as a person, skyrocketed that week. I gained like around 200 new followers and so many people sending me asks, which was something so new, cause it was one of the first times I wrote Elorcan. It was like a warm hug. Then I posted chapter 5 on acosf's release date and it was The Smut Chapter™️ and it was, for obvious reasons, a flop. Then after a few weeks it got the attention it deserved, but I never got to finish their story. From time to time I reopen the planning and chapter 6, which is surprisingly halfway done, but Idk, I don't have the right inspiration right now. Kinda sad:(

#ask game

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bisamwilson · 2 years

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I’m sorry my ask annoyed you. I honestly wasn't trying to, I was asking after your opinion and thus shared my viewpoint on it as well. I don't think that to be discourse starting. It wasn't a guise. I wanted it to be an exchange of different opinions/viewpoints between two people because not everyone shares the same views and I sought to hear more details from someone else’s perspective. I wanted you to share yours so I shared mine, that way you could understand where I was coming from and then I could read your viewpoint and understand yours if you replied. I wasn't asking for justification or an argument. I only wanted to hear why you shipped them and how you saw them together. Which you provided. Thank you.

But I realize my ask was unsolicited and came out of nowhere which isn't right. I should have led into the conversation rather than just dump all of that into one single ask. It was a lot all at once. Thank you for replying nonetheless and for sharing your views on the ship. I’m sorry I caused you to be annoyed/irritated. That wasn't my intention.

gonna start this out by saying i don't plan on answering another ask about this after this one

a conversation here ALSO would not have been appreciated bc the last thing the vast majority of anyone who ships anything wants is someone starting a conversation with them with plans to eventually tell them why they don't actually like the ship you ship.

you might not have been around my blog long enough to remember me posting about this stuff when st*cky shippers started coming into the s*mb*cky tag (blocking the name out just bc i don't want this showing up in the tag, as it's not about the ship, even though i adore the latter ship) and talking shit about the latter ship because they just "didn't see the chemistry" and "didn't understand how people could ship it when st*cky were so obviously meant to be soulmates" or whatever the fuck, but i really did not take kindly to that, and wouldn't have even if it wasn't ship wars based. i might clown on ships on my own personal blog (always blocked out so nothing shows up in tags) or with my friends that i know have a similar opinion, and i might even really dislike a ship to the point that it makes me want to block every instance of it and all the people who regularly post about it, but i'd never start a conversation with them with the intentions of telling them all the reasons i personally actually really disliked it, unless they started shit first

like, i understand you were trying to understand, which is fine. again, if the first ask had simply been, "what do you like most about phee and tech?" or "what made you ship techphee in the first place?" i would have been happily gushing about the chemistry i see between them, i'm sure. but if that conversation you think you should have led into at all included your opinion on disliking tech and phee together, i can assure you i would have been just as mad because, quite frankly, i did not ask. i did not plan on asking. i do not want to know. i am not particularly sympathetic to your opinion, and even less so now, and all i wanted was to be left alone to be happy about the ship i thought was cute getting screen time of them being soft and flirting with each other

but the fact of the matter is that saying things like "as if it's 'funny/cute' to watch someone who doesn't understand social cues or needs time to adjust to interactions be thrown for a loop" (implying that the ship is problematic as it's a way to make fun of a neurodivergent character) and "their line of overused tropes that more so appeal to the masses of heterosexual neurotypical viewers" (to someone who is very much not heterosexual, by the way, and is very vocal about that) is going to be taken as inflammatory and discourse-starting, because it is. those are highly charged things to say, with a lot of negative emotional weight behind them, which is the prime breeding ground for discourse, especially when tacked onto an ask whose purpose is to ask why i don't think that way. it felt very "well i see that this ship is problematic for x and y reasons, why do you not see it?" nothing in that ask read like it was asked in good faith and, even with this added on explanation of intent, it still is hard to ignore how charged your (once again, unsolicited) reasoning for disliking the ship was. it felt almost accusatory, which is why it felt like a demand to explain myself

like i said, i don't really want to keep going with this conversation. i mostly just wanted to answer this second ask to say please don't go out looking for a conversation partner with the express intent of eventually offering your viewpoint, which is essentially shitting on a thing that they like. ask people why they like the ship if you want to know, and end the conversation there. keep your opinions on your own blog, and i'm sure you'll eventually find someone who shares them to talk about it with, but like keep your negativity about it from the people who love/like/enjoy it. i can assure you they do not want it, and they didn't ask.

#just like. don't be negative about a thing someone likes bc you personally want dialogue about it #it's going to upset them having to defend a thing they enjoy to cater to your wants #and there are tons of ways to ask and get their opinion without letting them know you don't share it #especially when they've done nothing to start that negative dialogue in the first place #star wars #the bad batch #mak rants #ask #anonymous

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gwyns · 18 days

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you can hurt, too. your pain isn't a burden" what series is that? <3

why, i'm so glad you asked, anon! i hope you're ready for a somewhat ramble filled post

short answer: it's the briar sisters trilogy by the lovely carly h. mannon. there's currently two books out, with the third slated for release in january!

long, fangirl inspired answer: it's one of my favorite series ever. like, no joke

i read the first book earlier this year before the second released, devoured it, cried during it and it healed some part of me. then, the sequel released and i, again, devoured it, cried during it and it healed another part of me

i have never related more to characters than i do nicole and misha, but especially nicole. i've seen many people over the years talk about how much they relate to nesta and that's why she's their favorite character ever. i finally get that now with nicole, not that i can't relate to nesta (i do, very much), but it's different here because nicole feels and sees and expresses things exactly the way i do. it's such a comfort to find yourself in a character like this

i'll try to keep it short but i wanted to showcase some of the quotes that made me full on bawl during my read because, that's me

i can't explain to you how many times i've kept myself together simply because i felt like if i didn't, i'd never be the same again. i wouldn't know how to put myself back together, to feel some semblance of the person i was before

this seems like such a simple thing, especially since we've seen many characters in sjm's books feel unworthy, but to have it put in this perspective? it made me feel less alone. i do feel unworthy, but in a way i don't see many people talk about openly. i'm not even worthy of being seen as an option for love, not even a flitting thought through someone's head. it feels silly typing it out but... this meant a lot to me

and here's the quote you inquired about. reading this genuinely did something to me... i wish someone had said this to me many years ago. i don't want to get into my upbringing or anything but there have been many times where i've kept my hurt quiet so i wouldn't burden my parents. it's a very exhausting way to live

again, i don't want to get too into my personal life but for those who do know, somewhat, this... hit too hard. too close. it's still a lingering fear of mine i have to try and combat. in fact, i'm doing it right now and only mildly succeeding

and to end my too long list of quotes, here's some misha ones (please excuse how different this screenshot looks, i had to take it on my computer instead of my phone, like the previous ones). another constant fear of mine, being too much to handle and making the person i love most in the world hate and resent me for it. to become a burden to him, too. it's a terrible feeling and i wouldn't wish it on anyone lol

i'm going to shut up now but genuinely if you've been looking for something to help scratch that acotar itch while waiting for book news, this series is the closest thing i've found to it. it has fairytale elements, namely snow white and sleeping beauty, fated mates, dislike to lovers trope, betrayal, an interesting world and lore just... please read them. and, you know, tag me in any and all posts because i have brainrot

#sorry for dumping so much personal stuff in this post lol anywaaayyyy #i felt it was time for me to stop gatekeeping this series... just remember i am The Nicole Stan #the author did an interesting twist on the fated mates trope too! so you know. theres that #the briar sisters #the briar sisters trilogy #nicole briar #misha briar #carly h. mannon #asks #anonymous

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poppy-metal · 2 years

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poppy u posted something the other day where Eddie and Nancy’s names were in the same sentence and it never occurred to me before but since then I haven’t been able to get the thought out of my mind that being in the middle of them would be so….. like ok u KNOW they would both do that mock sympathy thing and dom you till you’re just a fuckin mess but while Nancy doesn’t let you get what you want Eddie’s lil service dom heart just can’t take it sometimes and she punishes u both IM……. BYE

i can't think abt eddie and nancy tag teaming me ill become legit unwell. i struggle to think of a scenario where they'd interact with you together but i think abt being eddies little punk gf that he's corrupted </3 and having a crush on prim and proper nancy and eddies over it. thinks you should just let her sit on your face or eat you out or SOMETHING so you can stop complaining abt her. you're stuttering and denying it but eddie knows how you look when you have a crush, knows those big doe eyes bc you give them to him all the time, usually right before you plead with him to fuck you dumb.

thinking abt him fingering you open one night and using his fleshlight and rubbing the silicone lips of it against yours, saying, "know you have her pegged as a princess, baby, but i think wheelers got a mean streak about a mile wide. think she'd get a kick out of knowing how easy it is to fuck you incoherent."

gasping and rutting your pussy against the fake clit of the sex toy, "y-you're not mad."

eddie kissing your shoulder. "nuh uh." he nuzzles against your head as he rubs the plastic cunt up and down your clit, "I'd love to watch her turn you out. maybe she could teach me a thing or two about putting a brat like you in your place. "

#ask #cums profusely so much that i black out #eddie munson x reader #nancy wheeler x reader #eddie spaghetti #eddie munson smut #nancy wheeler smut

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dilucids · 3 years

Text

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤCelebrity crush, Genshin boys idol! au

admitting you're their celebrity crush and their reaction to your reaction

includes: kaeya, diluc, zhongli and xiao

( can't stop thinking about idol! au genshin. any type of celebrity but it's hinted that you're a singer in xiao's. )

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ〔 KAEYA ALBERICH ━━ FROSTWIND SWORDSMAN 〕

━━ this man is sooooo fucking slick with it.

━━ he'll slyly bring it up in an interview or a live with a smirk on his face and then act as if it never happened when someone questions him.

━━ his members just stares at him when he brings you up, knowing, that beneath that sly persona and nonchalant act, there was millions pounds worth of fan merchandise in his room.

━━ he would evade the subject and if it's an interview, the host would have to pry answers from his members instead as he sits there proudly with a smile on his face as his members tell his fan behaviour instead of him.

━━ in a live, he would somehow convince his fans they were hallucinating but someone would post the clip and everyone would just go ballistic, it'd be one of those "top ten things i can't believe kaeya managed to get away with: gaslighting his fans into believing they were crazy."

"Who's your favourite celebrity?" Kaeya reads out from the comments passing quickly through his Instagram live, he pretends to think. A smile forms on his face when he 'decides' on an answer, "probably [Name]."

He watches the comments speed through even quicker before changing the subject, dropping the matter as if it never happened. His fans are all freaking out though, wanting to get more details on his crush on the celebrity but Kaeya ignores all comments about the subject. They never die down though, only ending when Kaeya himself ends the live.

━━ you may have ended on the same show some time after him and the host brings it up ( 100% planned for views ).

━━ it makes you smile because you've already been informed about this topic by your fans and kaeya's.

━━ you'd end up thanking kaeya for the support and say that you've also been lowkey a fan of his group but you've never openly stated that to anyone.

━━ his fans and your fans immediately get to work and start tagging kaeya's insta/twitter, group and personal, under the clip of you shyly admitting you're a fan of his also and he goes mental.

━━ probably sits there watching the entire interview with a huge smile on his face, and it doesn't leave, not even after he finishes the interview ( bonus: diluc is very disturbed ).

━━ HUGE ego boost for the rest of the day. kaeya's normally very confident but he's extra confident, like starts strutting around like he's the shit and even had the balls to nod his head at diluc as if to say "what's up" with the largest shit eating grin on his face.

━━ diluc definitely thought he was picking a fight.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ〔 DILUC RAGNVINDR ━━ DARKNIGHT HERO 〕

━━ more likely to come from one of his members than him.

━━ or he'd be very smooth with it, and brings it up rather subtly. it'd be a small "oh, i ingest their content and enjoy it" and he'd just continue about his day

━━ and his fans will still go insane because diluc actually enjoying something seems weird, especially another celebrity's work

━━ this would obviously reach you, who was an open fan of his group, and you'd freak out when you see it but wouldn't bring it up because he only said he enjoyed your work, not he was a fan.

━━ would definitely get questioned if he was being interviewed on a talk show, he wouldn't evade the question.

━━ he doesn't really see a point in lying, so he simply shrugs and tells the host that he is a fan and owns some merchandise.

"Diluc, a few fans are curious about your statement the other day," the host redirects the questions to Diluc, who raises an eyebrow. "Is it true that you're a fan of [Name]?"

The question makes his heart pick up a little, he leans back on his chair and clears his throat, composing himself before nodding. "I am a fan," the host seems happy by his response. The conversation continues to steer in this direction, asking Diluc if he had attended any fan meetings or merchandise, how he would feel if you two collaborated for a project and then finally ending once the host asks other members if they were fans of anyone.

━━ he thinks nothing of it, continuing with his day as usual but when he gets mentioned by your twitter? the man loses his shit.

━━ he sits there staring at his screen like he was hallucinating and literally tunes everything else out, staring at your little: "i'd love to work with you too!" message with a small smiley face at the end.

━━ he checks the account multiple times just in case it was one of his fans trolling him but clicking on the @ takes him back to your account so he gives in at some point

━━ he types out a normal, professional "thank you, i hope a time comes when we can collaborate" and "i look forward to more of your works" but he's still losing his shit.

━━ stays in his mind for at least a week.

━━ fans always bring up the fact that y'all never did end up collaborating.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ〔 ZHONGLI ━━ VAGO MUNDO 〕

━━ the public is very aware.

━━ he's never made an attempt to hide how he is a fan, not even the massive poster in his room or the little keychain that he hangs on his bag nor the red eyeliner belonging to a makeup brand that you became a brand embassador for, also now one of his favourite brands.

━━ so no one is really surprised when he talks about you or your upcoming work, what is kinda surprising is when he straight up says that he says you're his ideal type.

━━ not because it's shocking that you'd be anyone's ideal type but because they didn't expect the out of the blue question from host and it's even more mind boggling when the man doesn't even stutter nor even think before just saying your name.

━━ members are sat beside him literally losing their shit in both negative ( scandals and shit ) and positive ( it's fucking hilarious ) ways as he just blinks.

━━ he doesn't even look the slightest bit worried as he stares dead straight through the host's head.

━━ obviously scandals emerge, there are positive and negative reactions. some people suddenly realise how good you two would look together and others are mad you "stole" their man because we have delulus in all fandoms.

"So Zhongli," the host starts before clearing his throat, obviously a tad uncomfortable under the eldest member's sudden gaze, "who is your ideal type?" The members also seem curious, as they stop their interactions, staring over at their unusually emotionless member.

One member laughs, waving the question off as a joke and as a way to avoid any possible scandals, knowing that Zhongli wouldn't filter his words due to his lacking understanding of social cues. "C'mon, there's no way that he has an id━━"

"If I had to say, then [Name] suits my preferences." The member who tried to wave it off blinks, staring at Zhongli like he just murdered someone and other members laugh. The host seems pleasantly surprised, peering at the camera with a raised eyebrow and a certain look on his face. The entire studio never gets over it.

━━ it's brought to your attention on twitter because twitter is usually where shit goes down.

━━ you've always been aware that zhongli has been a fan but you've never been able to speak up about it due to your management.

━━ luckily for you, your contract with your previous strict company had ended just a while ago and under your new management, you were more free to do whatever you wanted.

━━ so obviously, you quote tweet the video, tag his account and say in a jokingly way that he should take you out on a date first.

━━ he doesn't publicly reply to your tweet because he already got in trouble with his management for answering such a risky question anyways and your tweet is a little too suggestive.

━━ but he also wants you to know he has seen the tweet. so his solution? to slip into your dms.

━━ and all of a sudden, the next time you're both seen together, you're besties? so people started connecting dots and shit, were they good at connecting them. moral of the story: never underestimate zhongli fans because collectively, they may be able to beat zhongli in an iq test.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ〔 XIAO ━━ CONQUEROR OF DEMONS 〕

━━ best believe this man got death threated or held at gunpoint into admitting you're his celebrity crush.

━━ or he didn't do it at all and his members confessed for him just to tease him.

━━ happens on a group live, members are just vibing.

━━ xiao is sat in the back somewhere, scrolling through his phone with his earphones in so he doesn't notice his members shifting the camera to him or jumps onto him whilst holding the camera.

━━ when he does notice though, he takes out his earbud and your song just blARES through his earphone and it's fucking loud.

━━ he immediately turns it down but his fellow member already has this shit eating grin on his face and jumps onto xiao, successfully grabbing his phone and showing the live of 100k+ people.

━━ his homescreen is one of those "boyfriend/girlfriend/partner material" lockscreens of you and it shows that your song had been playing.

━━ xiao literally attacks his members and grabs his phone back, walking off to escape the embarrassment but can hear the echoing laughter as he walks down the hallway and slams his door closed.

Xiao lets out a sudden 'oompf' when his members glomps right ontop of him, grinning widely as they held up a camera to show off themselves and Xiao. Glancing at the camera, Xiao takes off an earbud, freezing when a loud upbeat tune echoes throughout the open area. Xiao ignores the feeling of his face heating up and turns down the song, ignoring the obvious gleeful stare of his member.

Almost on instinct, he moves his phone away but curse his parents for their genes because all it takes is a little stretching for his member to have his greasy fingers all over his phone, ripping it out of his hands and immediately running away to shield themselves from the wrath of all 5" and a bit of Xiao. When they deem it safe, they click on the home button of the screen, grinning amused at the homescreen.

"Look at fanboy Xiao!" And just like that, Xiao's cold demeanour had been shatteres infront of a plethora of people.

━━ you find it one of the most endearing things ever.

━━ literally how could you not? you find pride in yourself to have such a popular member of an idol group enjoy your work and it helps gain a little more confidence in yourself.

━━ it's brought up on a talk show kinda casually where the host is one of your friends so they are slightly teasing you for it all the whilst remaining on the professional side.

━━ and it's obvious to say that you're embarrassed by the way you chuckle and mess with your fingers and hair, but you hold yourself together anyways and manage a sweet "thank you for the support" to xiao when the host asks if you wanted to say something in case he was watching.

━━ and the very next day, on xiao's official instagram, he has a signed album and poster of yours, tagged and everything.

#genshin scenarios #genshin #genshin impact #genshin headcanons #genshin x gender neutral reader #genshin x reader #genshin xiao #genshin kaeya #genshin zhongli #genshin diluc #xiao x reader #zhongli x reader #kaeya x reader #diluc x reader

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technicolor-rhapsody · 2 years

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I just saw that you wanted to try your hand at writing and I can’t wait to see your stuff.

I know this technically wasn’t one of the options. But what do you think would happen if John Constantine shared the same universe as The Lost Boys? Would they get along? Would he try to kill them? Would they fight over the reader?

@immortal-velociraptor

Thanks for the request! I certainly don't mind people suggesting crossovers or even things not on my list. I mainly made that as a quick guide I guess you can say.

You know I've actually thought about his before and it's a crossover I really love the thought of!

I think Santa Carla could easily be a place that makes it onto John's radar; a lot of possible jobs ya know? As far as how well he'd get along with the boys, I think it would depend on the situation. They'd probably give him a hard time, play games with him especially if he starts getting into their territory too much. A sort of frenemies situation. Unless of course John goes after one of them or even the reader if they're associated with the boys. The boys are not only protective of themselves but reader as well.

If the reader is part of the boys' little coven, I could see them trying to get reader to take a bote of him as part of initiation/becoming a full fledged vamp. Of course that's not an ideal situation considering the demon blood that's been mixed with his own. In that case, John's blood probably could act as a vampire repellent.

Let's say you have some sort of relationship with John. Be it friends or more like coworkers. You've been around the block. You know about magic, the supernatural and paranormal. The longer you're with him/around him, the less certain things surprise you anymore. Yet meeting the boys will give you butterflies. Even if you know there's something up with them, you just can't resist their charms. Sure, John's charming and good looking in his own way. These mysterious guys though? Talk about heart throbs. The minute the boys catch a hint of your interest it's hook, line and sinker for you. They'll try and reel you in. John's having none of it however.

I could see there being a scenario where John and the boys begrudgingly work together. Say one night the reader gets attacked and turned by another vampire. Now there's a lot of vamps in Santa Carla --- too many even. In exchange for helping find and kill the head vampire so you can become human again, David and the boys may want something magic related from John in return.

I've got a small little something under cut. Whether it would turn out to be anything or not is up in the air.

Santa Carla, California. Murder Capital of the World. The tag line you had seen painted on the charming sign as you, John and Chas had driven into town. The easiest explanation could have been just a bunch of teenagers tagging it for shits and giggles. After all, if this beach side town was truly a murder capital wouldn't it have been more well known? Sure, it seemed like tourists flocked to the city but otherwise you had never heard of it. When you had asked John if he knew anything about the area. The answer was no, but the name had sounded familiar.

The two of you had spent the day investigating the area. So far the only clues you found were a shit ton of missing persons posters posted around town and a couple of kids at a comic store insisting the place was overrun with vampires. You're not sure why the idea seems absurd considering some of the things you've encountered while with John.

By now the sun has set, welcoming in the night time. You and John have decided to visit the boardwalk. You noticed it during the day, and while it was filled with people during the day now it seemed even more lively.

"How likely is it that those kids were right and the only things here are bloodsuckers?"

John hums, leaning against one of the wooden rails. "I'd say pretty bloody likely." He lights up a cigarette and smirks. "No pun intended."

You laugh anyways. "Well then it should an easy job. How hard is it to find a demon in a sea of vampires?"

"Oi, bite your fuckin' tongue, love." He snorts before taking another drag of his cigarette. He holds it out to you, offering to share.

He starts rambling on but your attention is caught elsewhere. There's a group of guys whooping and hollering as they come out of what seems to be a record store. They're each so unique in their appearance. And absolutely gorgeous. There's the tall, shirtless brunette. There's a blonde that's just an inch shorter than him but he looks like he's part of a glam rock band. The shortest of the four had such an angelic face coupled with beautiful, golden ringlets. Lastly there was the bleach blonde whom had such icy blue eyes they could freeze a person on the spot. And that's exactly what happened.

You had made direct eye contact with the bleach blonde. He grinned and soon three other sets of eyes were on you. Each of the guys gave a smile that could stop your heart. These guys were trouble. But the kind of trouble that was exciting. Trouble that would make you feel alive.

You're snapped out of your daze when the ciggie is snatched from your grip when you failed to pass it back. John's mumbling about wasting a perfectly good cig. Even still you can't help but look at the spot where the rabblerousers had been. They're gone now; vanished in the blink of an eye. You face has grown warm.

John has taken notice of your intense stare and leans closer, his expression a bit more serious now. "Aye lass, wot you see? Somethin' worth checking out?"

"Oh! Um no. Just....a lot of strange people." It's not a complete lie. You finally glance at John. He squints his eyes at you a moment then shrugs, relaxing his body.

"Maybe we should walk around more. If nothing else, enjoy the local sights?" You suggest, putting on an innocent smile. "I do really want to ride the carousel."

#the lost boys fanfiction #crossover fanfiction #John Constantine x reader #lost boys x reader #Hellblazer fanfic #Tlb fanfiction #the lost boys fic #John Constantine #The lost boys

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crispycrimebrulee · 3 years

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hiii! i love your work and I really admire the way you write 💕💖, so I couldn't resist making a request hehe. if it's not too much of a hassle, i'd like 11 or 22 for Illumi, please. thank you very much in advance, i send you a lot of love from Madrid uwuwu 💗💕💞😘 (and sorry for my bad English 😓😭)

your english is wonderful >:( also MADRID!!! I wanna go to Madrid...

[Prompt #22 "Stop Being Seductive!" "I Was Being Myself, But Okay"] [Fluff and a bit of Crack because I couldnt help it]

A Date?

You stood on the outskirts of a private estate, ¾ of the view of the mansion obscured by a hedge of lush green arborvitae rising above a brick wall about twice your height. Not that you would have been able to see much if the obstructions weren’t there, it was the dead of night and the mansion only provided faint specks of light in the distance, with the scattered decorative lamp posts offering faint halos of light every few feet, but still managing to leave you shrouded in darkness.

Frankly, you had no reason to be there; in the mansion, near it, or outside of it. You had been asked to accompany Illumi on a job, and although this had slowly become a frequent occurrence, it always puzzled you every time. The first time he’d asked you, he had essentially appeared in your living room and asked you to come with him “somewhere” and upon asking him to clarify, he followed with again asking you to come with him, this time saying to join him on a job. You had been ready to participate, but he ended up leaving you standing around nowhere near the actual action, and would then return to you after 30 minutes and would bring you home. Now, this had been about the tenth time he’d asked you to join him on a job, knowing very well he’d have you standing around waiting for him. This was only made stranger by the fact that not only did he have someone that he did jobs with (a questionable jester), but you had actually actively participated in jobs with Illumi, so why Illumi had changed your position from job partner to benching you. In his defense, you had failed to ask him why he had been doing this lately, rather, you had been attempting for the last 3 or so meetings to figure it out yourself. There were no logical reasons as to why he dragged you to his missions but his ‘work partner’, as Illumi so endearingly referred to, had once run into you while you were waiting on the sidelines for Illumi and given you a strange bit of insight in passing.

He had questioned why Illumi had you waiting out there all by your lonesome, knowing how much Illumi cared for you. Cared for you? That was an interesting bit of news… Illumi had never made it apparent that he so much as a thought of you other than a work associate, let alone that he ‘cared’ for you beyond that. As this jester had left you standing in the dark, a final passing comment of “what a strange way to bond with someone you fancy” caught you off guard.

A way to bond?

Someone you fancy?

Granted this was Illumi Zoldyck you were talking about, and he was dense like fruitcake in terms of making bonds and connections other than things pertaining strictly to work, but the thought of him fancying you and trying to bond with you made your gears turn.

On your end, you’d done a surprisingly good job at keeping your own feelings towards Illumi at bay, weary about how he would react to the prospect of someone fancying him. You couldn’t really lie to yourself when you thought about him. One would definitely call him strange, which was an understatement in most circumstances, but something about his strangeness and lack of awareness for social cues was oddly endearing. Little quirks about how he liked his tea or the occasional indulgence he took part in, or his particular hair care routine always managed to captivate you. Along with his (albeit something he was at a default) honesty and genuine answers, and his offhand compliments, you struggled to keep yourself together at his awkwardness. Not to mention, he was simply physically stunning, while some would call him rather plain. It might be his plainness that intrigued you, but it wasn’t like it’d be wrong to think so. Even if you felt this way about him, he had no way of knowing, and you had no inclination that it was reciprocated. He’d never made it known about having feelings for you, so you wondered if the two of you were playing an evenly matched waiting game with each other at this juncture.

Why would he feel the same anyway? It’s not like you were eccentric like that questionable jester Illumi was friends with, or that you came from an affluent family of assassins… you provided no value to Illumi other than… company.

“Let's go.”

You shifted your eyes around, noticing Illumi standing beside you, his eyes burning into yours. How long had he been standing there…?

You nodded, picking yourself up off the wall, and began walking back the way you two had come, only for Illumi to stand in front of you and stop you.

“This way.” he pointed behind you and you turned, looking at hazy streetlamps down the way.

“But home is” you pointed past him in the opposite direction, “this way.”

“I am bringing you somewhere. This way.” he turned you around and began walking further away from home with you in tow.

“Where are we goin’ Illu?” you asked, wondering what was past the dark street if anything at all.

“The park,” he answered, still walking, his eyes straight ahead.

Wasn’t it around 1am? What could be at the park at this hour?

Upon arriving at the park, the park was equally as dark as the street by the mansion, and since the scarce lights in the park were so dim, it only served to make the park feel barren, especially with only you and Illumi here.

He’d stopped by a bench situated in front of a small pond, the water gently breaking the silence whilst reflecting soft moonlight, and you couldn’t help but get lost in your thoughts while staring at the dark pond until Illumi called your name.

You didn’t answer, you only let your distant gaze fall on him, taking him in one aspect at a time. Everything, everything was perfect about him, regardless if that was what he was ‘created’ to be or if your thoughts about him made you feel like he was perfect. What had his friend been thinking, “someone you fancy”? Compared to Illumi you were nowhere near perfection, you still had so much work to do on yourself and perfecting your trade, yet the hint that Illumi felt something towards you felt absolutely absurd when you realized what you were up against. Apart from living up to his family's expectations, would you be able to live up to his? Highly unlikely, at least to you.

There you stood, brooding at Illumi who was merely standing there looking stunning, although there was rarely a time he didn’t.

“Y/n.”

Nothing out of you yet again, still brooding.

“Y/n.”

Again, calling out to you like you’d left the scene as he stared at you as you stared at him.

“Y/n you are staring.”

You scowled, finally looking away, huffing as you did so.

“You’re being….seductive. Stop being seductive!” you muttered, attempting to inspect the tops of your shoes.

You glanced at him and he blinked, big eyes holding a sense of genuine confusion as he slowly answered.

“I was not.”

“Yes, you are!”

“I was being myself, but okay y/n.”

You sighed, giving him a glare as you sat down on the bench, feeling somewhat defeated and wholly embarrassed for attempting to call him out… on seductiveness.

“Why’d you bring me here anyways?” you asked, kicking at the rocks on the ground.

“A date.”

You turned your head fast enough you felt the strain in your neck from doing so. Eyes wide and full of confusion, you attempted to string a coherent sentence together all while giving him a bewildered look.

“Date? Now?”

“Yes. This is a date.”

You cocked your head to the side and squinted at him.

As smart as he is, he seems to be as thick as mince when it comes to dates…

“Illumi this isn’t… a date.”

“Yes, it is.”

“We’re sitting in a park, Illu. In the middle of the night.”

“Did you prefer the previous occurrences as dates?”

“What previous occurrences…” you whispered, wondering how he could become vaguer and vaguer with his view of dates.

“My missions.”

“Those were dates?!” you slumped down in your spot, rubbing your face with your hands.

“Were you not aware.”

“Those aren’t dates! You never even asked me on a date!”

“I asked you to come with me.”

“That's asking to tag along! Not a date!”

He was silent for a moment, looking at you with a classically vacant look before speaking up.

“I will take you on a date.”

“That’s a nice sentiment, Lumi, but when? And why?”

“Tomorrow. I like you.”

Slack-jawed but somewhat satisfied (courtesy of his honesty, no matter how jarring) you nodded slowly, wondering if that jester wasn’t so wrong after all.

“Okay.”

“Good.”

He took a seat by you, watching the water as well. You never could tell what he was thinking, and more often than not you’d rather not find out, but whatever those thoughts were now… he seemed calmer, almost or at least at ease. Whether that was due to your acceptance of a (proper) date or not was something you’d maybe find out later, but that was of little concern right now.

The main concern would be finding a last-minute date outfit… and hoping it wasn’t the park during the day.

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mooniefics · 4 years

Text

— first impressions

pairing : zeke jaeger / fem reader / reiner braun

word count : 7.5k

tags : sorta fluff (i can’t help myself i love reiner), eventual smut, threesome (f/m/m), situational humiliation, one night stand, spitroasting, drunk + unsafe sex

warnings : nsfw, mild sexual coercion

summary : a chance meeting between you and reiner leaves you enjoying an evening with the warriors upon their much anticipated return from the war. but doing your new friends a favor leads to a night you'll never forget.

— originally posted 12 / 22 / 20 on ao3 —

"reiner! is that really you?!"

you stood quickly from your place at the booth, unable to stop yourself from scrambling up to the small group of soldiers, who were all looking down at you with a mixture of confusion and amusment.

"you didn't tell us you had a girlfriend back home, braun." the dark-haired woman to his right teased, earning a crossed frown from your friend.

"not my girlfriend." he muttered, ignoring their chuckles as he turned his attention back to you, "i haven't changed that much in a few months, have i?"

you sighed, a relieved grin breaking out across your face as he opened his arms to you, gratefully accepting his invitation and squeezing him tight, face pressing into his shoulder. the scent of gunpowder that usually clung to him in his uniform was absent on his civilian clothes, replaced instead with the pleasant smell of fresh linen. "a few months? felt more like a whole year to me."

you stayed cognizant of the people behind him, now exchanging curious glances at the sight of their comrade's affection, the woman who'd initially teased him whispering something to the stern looking man by her side that made his expression crack into a small grin. he pulled away from you after a moment, a soft smile warming his usually sullen features, which dampened at a hand being placed on his shoulder.

"would you care to introduce us, reiner?" a low voice asked, the speaker stepping to reiner's side to get a good look at you.

you instantly recognized the man, face flushing with embarrassment as you scrambled to find your words. "c-captain jaeger! i apologize for interrupting your evening, p-please forgive-"

"nonsense." he said, holding out his hand for you to shake, "and no need for the formalities, feel free to call me zeke."

you clasped your hands gratefully around his, shaking vibrantly much to his amusement. you exchanged names with the remaining three, the tired looking but jovial woman, pieck, insisting that you join them on their night out. seeing as you had already planned to be at the old bar for the rest of the night by yourself, you had no qualms with inviting them all to fill the remaining seats of the booth you'd been occupying before they entered.

"pock here isn't much of a talker," she said after everyone got themselves situated, poking the cheek of the man she'd been whispering to earlier, "he's a little shy, but don't hold it against him."

"i thought i told you not to call me that.." he grumbled in reply, smacking away her hand and earning a small round of laughter from everyone at the table. the freshest face among them, colt, flagged down the barmaiden that was milling about the tavern floor, ordering a beer for everyone at the table with a kind smile.

"this'll be the only one for me tonight." you told him across the table after the woman had sauntered away, "i kinda didn't budget to be drinking more than one beer tonight anyways.."

"don't worry about it." you turned at reiner's voice beside you, gaze flitting down to see him thumbing through the bills in his wallet, "i'll pay for you tonight. my treat."

"nice to see that you know how to treat a lady." zeke quipped with a grin from his place on your left, earning another unreadable frown from reiner, but you could see the flush creeping up on his cheeks as a result of the implication.

before he could dismiss his friend, the barmaiden had returned, toting six mugs filled to the brim with beer on her serving platter. everyone murmured their thanks as she passed them around the table, her eyes lingered on colt before she slipped away to attend to another awaiting party.

"look at you, colt! haven't even been here for thirty minutes and you've already got the ladies swooning." pieck drawled, taking a long sip from her mug with a smile on her lips as she watched the young man stammer out an excuse.

you couldn't help but laugh along at the display, taking a generous drink of your own as you watched the conversation pick up around you. pieck seemed to be more than comfortable with everyone at the table, fueling the majority of the discussion with her playful words. porco, as she'd said, didn't seem to be much of a talker, but nodded along to what the others said, contributing a brief input when he saw fit and staying silent for the rest of the time. colt wasn't naive, but he was easy to tease, the perfect target for little jabs here and there from around the table that drew irritated, flustered protests from him and made everyone laugh.

the dynamic that had intrigued you the most was that between zeke and reiner. they didn't speak directly to the other often, mostly relaying remarks through their responses to the others, but when they did, there seemed to be an odd sort of tension between them. not exactly rivals, but not exactly friends either. they were on the same team, but there was a clear disconnect between them despite that. you felt every slight shift that reiner made when zeke addressed him, debating on whether you should request to move from your place between them for your sake or stay as a buffer for reiner's.

everyone was on their third glass—the only exception being reiner, who was nearly through his fourth—definitely loosened up though not quite drunk yet, but before you could put much thought into how you'd go about doing that, porco spoke to you for the first time. "so, how do you even know reiner?"

"oh! i'd also like to know too!" pieck piped up between sips, downing the rest of her mug in one go and resting her chin in her hands. everyone's attention had turned to you in an instant, intently waiting for your response, making your posture stiffen as you twisted your hands in your lap.

"well, it was a few years ago, when the war with the mid-east had just started ramping up." you began, tensing up the slightest bit when you felt your hand brush reiner's under the table, "i was working at the produce shop down on kaiser lane, and one day reiner came by with his mother on one of her grocery visits, she had always spoken to me about him when i was counting up her total. i asked her if this was son she was always talking about, and she said yes and introduced us. reiner looked tired," pieck giggled at that. "so i tried to hurry it up a little for his sake, and then she paid and they both went on their way. later that day i came here, and i saw him sitting alone at the counter, so i decided to sit down next to him and see if he could put up with my insufferable small talk for a little while. we ended up talking all night, and we've been great friends since then."

"well, isn't that the sweetest thing," pieck smiled warmly at you from across the table, balancing her head on one hand so could pensively drum her fingers across the wood, "if i didn't know any better, i'd say you two made a lovely couple!"

"pieck, would you stop bothering reiner." porco chided, waving a hand at your friend, "just look at him, he looks like he's one more girlfriend comment away from popping a blood vessel."

reiner grumbled out a low 'fuck you', gulping down the rest of his beer and flagging down the barmaiden as the rest of the warriors shared a hearty laugh at his expense. you yourself were similarly blushing at their constant assertions of something more between the two of you. it's not as if you hadn't mulled the idea over in your head many times before on all the previous outings you'd been on together, and the few times the two of you had gotten drunk enough to fool around a bit before one of you came to your senses and excused yourself for the night.

there were some days where you were glad you kept a modest distance between yourselves, and there were others where you wanted to do nothing more than throw all caution to the window and just enjoy one irresponsible night of doing whatever came to mind, no doubts or worries or responsibilities to get in the way, politics and the war be damned. you started to shake away those unnecessary thoughts, but zeke did a much better job of distracting you when his arm fell around your shoulders, giving you a friendly squeeze as he spoke.

"i see that even in good company, my colleagues' manners still aren't up to par," he said, directing his words at you but talking loud enough for anyone to hear, "allow me to apologize on their behalf."

"oh hush, zeke, you're the worst out of all of us!" pieck argued through her laughter, playfully kicking his shin under the table, "you're only playing nice because she's here."

her words didn't draw his attention away from your face, gleaming grey eyes intently drinking in the emotions passing over your flushed features. you laughed nervously, turning away to face the rest of the table, sneaking a glance at reiner as the barmaiden swept by to clean up the empty glasses and replace them with filled mugs. he had an irritated frown drawn across his lips, worry lines creasing his face as he gulped down half of his mug in seconds.

"look's like you're finally not the one overdoing it, huh colt?" you heard pieck whisper into the young man's ear, snickering at him when he turned away from her and huffed.

just glancing around at them all made you forget that everyone of them were living on borrowed time, that in less than a month they would most likely be shipped out on their next assignment to defend marley against any one of the neighboring nations that were just waiting to pounce at the slightest slip up. aside from reiner, they all seemed to be forgetting that fact as well in favor of just enjoying this night while it was still young.

another banter-filled hour passed, your table not noticing how the bar had been steadily emptying as closing time drew near. zeke had kept his grasp around you for the entire time, much to reiner's dismay, which was evident on his face each time you tried to coax him back into the conversation, always faltering each time zeke peered over you to repeat your question to him with a thinly veiled haughtiness. reiner had gone through more beer than anyone at the table, his flushed face and low-lidded gaze along with his slurring words letting you know just how drunk he'd really become. but aside from his borderline unpleasant exchanges with your friend, zeke was incredibly charismatic, almost overbearingly so, your own intoxication making it easy for you give in to his infectious energy and laugh along with him and everyone else at the table.

sure, you were worried about reiner, but he knew that you would always be friends at the end of the day, and you had to make a good impression on these newly introduced people who were so kind as to invite you in on one of their rare leisurely getaways from the military barracks. so you let yourself lean into zeke's side, relishing in the warmth that you'd been craving for so long—a warmth that the alcohol only made you want more and more—the break in your routine that you'd been searching for in an evening alone turning into a night that you were sure you wouldn't forget for a long time. they didn't even seem to care that you weren't an honorary marleyan, or even that you were a lowly blue-collar worker that made a measly sum at her meaningless job on a forgettable street corner.

but alas, the blissfully ignorant fun of the table's atmosphere was dampened by the arrival of the barmaiden with your table's tab, setting it down in front of colt with a coy smile as she gathered up the rest of your empty glasses and disappeared into the back of the tavern.

"aw colt, you never made your move!" pieck chided, giggling as she dug into the pocket of her skirt to reach for her wallet just as everyone else around the table was doing.

"reiner.. are you okay?" you gently nudged his arm, looking over with concern at the sight of him. his elbow was propped on the table, forehead resting in the heel of his palm as he stared down at his lap, mouth drawn into a slight frown.

"shit, he's loaded." porco commented snarkily.

"we can't let magath see him like this!" colt said nervously, looking around at his colleagues, waiting for one of them to come up with a plan to deal with this new issue.

you glanced from colt to reiner, then up at zeke, turning back to everyone as you made an offer. "well.. i have a guest room at my house, he could stay there for the night if it makes things any easier for you all."

"oh, you're an angel!" pieck sighed, reaching across the table and clasping your hands in hers, "and if the commander asks, i could say that he decided to stay with his family!!"

"sharp as always, pieck." zeke chimed from beside you, "though, i don't think it'd be fair to make her watch him all by herself, so i think it'd be best if i help her out with him for the evening, just to be sure he doesn't cause her any trouble."

he met eyes with pieck, and for a moment you thought you saw the briefest flash of realization cross her features, the slightest smirk perking up at her lips before her face relaxed back into its natural smile and she nodded at him. "great idea." she said, tugging at porco and colt's sleeves, "i'll deal with these two, and i'll tell the commander that you had a change of heart as well. reiner, hand me your wallet if you can't count the bills."

"i've got it." he grunted, fumbling with his wallet for a few moments before slamming a fistful of bills down in front of her.

"thank you very much!" she sang happily, getting all the money in order and putting her own small tip for the barmaiden before she slapped colt's arm a few times, prompting him to start scooting out of the booth.

zeke finally retracted his arm to begin leaving the booth, standing out on the floor and offering his hand out to you. you flushed, taking it and allowing him to help you to your feet. everyone got themselves situated, stepping out of the bar and saying their goodbyes, pieck, colt, and porco turning to make their way back to the barracks, zeke slinging reiner's arm over his shoulder and following you along as you gave directions on how to get to your home.

there wasn't many words exchanged between the three of you on your short walk, only having some small talk with zeke between the bouts of comfortable silence hanging around you in the warm night air. you arrived home within minutes, wrestling the key into the old lock and holding open the door for zeke to help reiner in.

"i can walk myself, jaeger." he muttered while kicking his shoes off, earning a low chuckle from the older man.

"then why aren't you doing it right now?"

he didn't get a response as you directed them to your bedroom, hoping to settle him down as soon as you could in the hopes of him being able to get enough rest to sleep off the worst parts of his hangover. while zeke assisted him, you scampered over to the guest bedroom to get it ready for your other, less intoxicated guest. but as you opened the door to the bedroom, you were mortified at the sight of your mess upon looking into the room. in the moment of wanting to do something nice for your friends, you'd completely forget about how you'd basically turned your spare room into more of a storage closet.

looking around to try and think about where to get started, hopefully make it look like you didn't completely neglect this room for the past few months before zeke finished putting his friend to bed, you felt a hand on your shoulder, stiffening in surprise as you slowly turned to look at him.

"i-i'm really sorry, i totally wasn't expecting guests tonight, and i promise i've been meaning to move everything to the basement-"

"don't worry about it, really." he stopped you before you could continue to profusely apologize, offering you another one of those warm smiles that made your knees feel weak, "let me help you, it's the least i could do after you opened your home to a couple of irresponsible soldiers." to your surprise, he brushed past you, picking up one of the many boxes that had accumulated on the bed and floor over the months. "you said you had a basement, right? would you mind showing me where it is exactly?"

unable to find your words, you pointed halfheartedly to the door at the end of the hall, watching him carry one of the few boxes that had left you panting by the time you'd transported them across the house with ease, not even having to set it down to open the door and begin descending the steps. his quick return up the steps finally spurred you into action, hauling another box into your arms and repeating his path of depositing it down in your basement and returning to your room to grab another, making sure to take it slow on your way down the steps from how heavy the alcohol made your limbs feel.

within a few minutes, you both had everything squared away. you let yourself take a seat on the now empty bed, breathing out a sigh of relief and wiping the sweat that had begun to bead around your forehead with the back of your hand, watching as he settled down next to you. "sheesh, you made all that heavy lifting look so easy! and thank you again, for doing such a generous favor for me."

"there's no need to thank me." he replied earnestly, a hand settling on your thigh, making you suppress a small flinch, "you have a lovely home, do you really live all on your own?"

you tried to laugh off the warmth of his hand on your skin through your long skirt. "y-yeah, it's just been me for a while. sometimes friends come over for the night, but for the most part, it's just me."

zeke hummed pensively, grey eyes shining with something dangerous as he gazed down at you. "makes sense that someone such as yourself hasn't found anybody qualified enough to settle down with," he grinned at your flustered expression, openly appreciating the way your eyes widened and you breathed out a soft, indecisive 'thank you', "though, i was so sure that you and reiner had something between you.."

"n-no! it's not like that." the words spilled out of your mouth before you could even think about them, the desire to answer him overriding any clear thought that might cut through your intoxicated embarrassment, "i'm sure s-soldiers such as him and yourself don't really have time to play around with people l-like me."

you mentally slapped yourself for coming to such a conclusion, let alone allowing it to actually exit your brain and be heard by the most esteemed guest you'd probably ever have the honor of hosting.

"oh?" he peered curiously at you, thumb rubbing a slow stroke over your leg, face seeming much closer than it was a few blinks ago, "and what exactly is that supposed to mean?" you knew just how intentional his word choice was, practically setting up a verbal trap for you to fall into, but how could you not take the bait when it was marley's strongest warrior dangling it before you?

"i-i-i'm sorry, s-sir— zeke!"

you scrambled to correct yourself, looking any place except his face and wanting to do nothing more than hide away somewhere where neither him nor reiner could find you to sober yourself up before you could humiliate yourself any further. but you felt the desperation that was now gripping your pounding heart start to squeeze like a vice around it when a rough hand found your chin, gently turning your head to face him again.

"again with the apologies.. what am i going to do with you?"

your bottom lip quivered, more frantic sorries threatening to spill out, but stopped by the lack of air that you were able to take in from his proximity. you hadn't even realized you were holding your breath until you felt a tight ache seize your chest, exhaling an alarmed breath as you stared up into the glinting grey irises studying your face, mirroring their actions at the tavern but containing all of the hunger he'd been hiding in front of his comrades. the hand of your thigh slid up your leg just an inch, zeke breathing out a chuckle at the feeling of you tensing under his touch.

"if you must know," his face was so close that you could even see the pale freckles dotting across his sharp cheekbones and the bridge of his nose, the shadowed contour of his face looking even deeper in the dim light of the guest room, parted lips exhaling a warm breath that fanned across your face, the scent of alcohol still evident as he slowly spoke, "a soldier such as myself can make plenty of time to play around with someone like you."

you couldn't barely contain your awe, drawing in another shaky, shallow breath at the feeling of his lips brushing across your own, just daring you to indulge in his offer. you could barely form a cohesive thought before your brain forced a new topic into your conscious, confusion and shock and abrupt desire drowning out all the rationality that you were so desperately grasping for in this moment.

you'd just met this man tonight, it didn't matter that you'd known of his grand legacy even from when you were a young girl or felt like you'd gotten to know him quite a bit in that short amount of time, you'd only shaken his hand and drank with him and sat face-to-face with him for the first time just a few hours ago. not to mention how the person you were truly familiar with, the one who wasn't nearly a decade your senior, the one you had really been yearning for was just down the hall in your bed, only two shut doors and a few thin walls away from this spectacle. but, zeke was right in front of you, and he was offering out an opportunity that was impossible to refuse—an offer that you really, really didn't want to refuse.

so you didn't. you gave in to the sinful temptation of his warmth, his skin, his soft touches with calloused, work-roughened hands, the knowledge that this kiss was only just the beginning of something unforgettable.

in contrast to his hands, his lips were soft, ridiculously soft as they pressed over yours, the fingers at your chin unfurling to cup the length of your jaw. you leaned into his touch, earning a pleased grunt from him when your trembling hand found his hair, slowly carding through it as you focused on maintaining the easy rhythm of his kiss. you stifled a small sound when the hand on your leg smoothed up to your inner thigh, not pressing any further, just gently stroking and giving the occasional squeeze to the pliant flesh through your skirt.

you could feel the light flutter in your chest heavy and knot into something familiar, twisting deep in your stomach as he sucked at your bottom lip, nipping at it before his attention wandered across your cheek, the hand at your jaw tilting your head up to expose more of your neck to his eager mouth. faint kisses gave way to teasing bites and licks, drawing a soft whimper as he sucked with the intent to bruise where your shoulder met your neck. he seemed to appreciate the way your grasp in his hair tightened, the hand on your thigh traveling across your waist to find the knotted string holding up your skirt.

the progression of his actions felt natural, but almost too fast at the same time, your hand giving an apprehensive tug to his hair when you felt the waistline of your skirt go slack with the undoing of its lacing. he groaned lowly at the sensation, spurring you to do it again when his teeth grazed over the forming redness just right. you could feel the haze of arousal fogged your mind already, all rationale dissipating under the influence of the alcohol and the hands that were now roaming your body, searching for a moment for the top button of your shirt before they began to messily undo those as well. each brush of his fingers across your bare skin sent goosebumps across the expanse of your chest, making quick work of your blouse as he pushed it over your shoulders, guiding your arms out of the sleeves before tossing it aside in favor of working on the clasp of your bra, never pulling away from his place at your neck for more than a moment before returning the bruising attention of his mouth back over the flushed skin.

you breathed out a weak whimper at the feeling of his thumb and forefinger taking one of your nipples between them, bra forgotten somewhere on the floor with your shirt, baring the entirety of your naked torso to him. he could feel how you squirmed when another hand smoothed down your stomach, slipping beneath your skirt's waistline and settling just between your legs, only a sheer barrier provided by your thin underwear, the arousal threatening to soak through the fabric leaving it clinging to every fold. he hummed appreciatively at the welcome surprise, drawing more stifled sounds out of you when his fingers slowly stroked over your clothed cunt.

"all this just for me?" he murmured lowly in your ear, thumb pressing down on your clit, rubbing slow circles over the sensitive nub.

his touch was electrifying, almost overwhelmingly good as you arched into it, the hand at your breast now groping at the supple flesh, palm offering a much-needed friction over your nipple. you finally registered his teasing question, barely managing a disoriented 'mhm' and a small nod, unable to think of anything else besides your heartbeat pounding loud enough that you though he might be able to hear, and the fingers prodded at you and teasing your body as they pleased.

your half-lidded gaze drifted to the door, blinking away the fogginess when you realized it wasn't actually properly shut. you opened your mouth to try and murmur out your observation, but the words in your head spilled out as an incoherent moan, feeling his mouth detach from your bruised neck before he urged you down onto the mattress. but the sight of him standing above you, tugging off his shirt and revealing the impressively toned physique of his stomach and chest, made you forget the ajar door behind him entirely. your hands moved without a second thought, pushing your skirt and underwear down your legs as far as you could, kicking them the rest of the way off as he began to unbuckle his belt.

you couldn't help the way your eyes widened when he shoved down his pants and underwear in one go, unable to choose between focusing your gaze on the smug smirk drawing across his lips or his achingly hard cock, already looking like more than you could handle even at a distance. he plucked his glasses off his face, setting them on the bedside table before he moved over you in bed, your hands tugging him down into a kiss and earning a low chuckle against your lips.

"eager little thing, aren't you?" he only pulled away for a moment to speak, knuckles dragging down the swell of your breast and curving down your waist. your legs spread in anticipation, back arching off the bed when his fingers finally trailed down between your thighs to smooth a finger down your pussy. "and so, so wet."

you squeaked at the intrusion of two thick fingers pumping into you, sliding in easily with a soft, wet sound. the rhythm of your lips faltered, whimpering as his tongue slid between your teeth, tangling with yours, mouth greedily swallowing every desperate sound you made for him. you were grateful for how he was muffling you, just barely remembering that there was another presence in your house besides you and zeke that you had to worry about, heat sparking up your spine at the feeling of his fingers curling just right inside you.

the thought of reiner finding you in here with the captain of his squad, so pathetically obedient and practically dripping from just his fingers, was horrifying and unnervingly thrilling all at once. would he be angry with you? why would he be? what did he even consider you as?

you couldn't dwell on that thought for too long, hips bucking and toes curling when his thumb rubbed firm circles over your clit, wordlessly begging for more. he seemed to be just as impatient as you were in the face of your desperation, pulling away from your lips and removing his touch from between your legs, rolling himself onto his back and tugging you on top of him in one swift motion. you flush even deeper as you watched him drink in the sight of your naked figure, large hands finding your hips, pupils blown wide enough to nearly swallow up the silvery grey of his irises as he eased you down so his cock was just at your aching cunt, offering a sliver of mercy by allowing you to seat yourself onto him as fast or slow as you'd like.

just the first few inches had you whimpering, hands settling on his chest to steady yourself, teeth worrying the skin of your bottom lip, trying to contain the borderline humiliating sounds that were making him grin so smugly up at you. you could feel tears pricking your eyes by the time you finally sank all the way down, deep, shaky breaths giving away your lack of composure even more so than the way the thighs on either side of him tremble, or the nails now digging into the toned muscles of his shoulders. he gave you just a moment of respite, letting you get used to the feeling of something so big before his grip on your hips fastened, fingers sinking into the soft flesh as he began to guide you up and down on his cock.

the low groan your motion earned from him was enough to make your already pounding heart race even faster, heat echoing through you in a way that made it impossible to silence the heated whines that were spilling out of you. the bed squeaked in protest beneath you, but you could care less as you quickened the pace he'd started you at all on your own, admiring the flush that had darkened over his handsome features and the parted lips breathing out low curses and appraising groans.

his eyes fell shut, head falling back before he forced it back up, gaze wandering across your face, then your body, then flitting elsewhere for the briefest moment before they returned to you, hips now thrusting up with even more vigor to meet your own. you moaned openly, struggling out a meaningless string of pleas, the ache beginning to burn in your legs drowned out when he reached out to rub tight, fast circles around your clit. he was grinning now, licking his lips before he spoke in a knowing slur, "you're gonna cum soon, aren't you?"

"yes, f-fuck yes..!" it took you a moment to find your words, embarrassed by how fast he'd managed to work you up to this point but unable to be dishonest in your current position.

his motions didn't falter in the slightest, only seeming to grow more and more urgent as you quivered and whined, bouncing yourself up and down on his cock like it was the last time you'll ever get the chance to do it. and while that's likely the case, you don't care to think about it, too wrapped up in the way you could feel that pressure that had been welling in your stomach finally reach a breaking point, stammered curses devolving into breathless cries as you came hard around him.

you could feel the movement of his hips slow significantly, still rocking up into you to let you ride out your high but not nearly enough for him to push himself over the edge along with you. but you're grateful for his mercy, knowing that if he'd continued at the pace he was going you probably wouldn't be able to walk the next morning. so you took it as a testament to his goodwill, falling forward onto his chest in a whimpering heap, trying to steady your breathing and calm your heart rate, remaining seated on his still hard cock.

you felt a strong arm wrap around your waist, the other resting across your shoulder so he could settle his hand on the back of your head, fingers working their way into your hair and gently carding through it. the attention was comforting, unexpected but definitely comforting as you pressed your face into the crook of his neck, still too hazy off of your post-orgasm bliss to have any shame about wanting to be close to his warmth. you didn't think about whether he was expecting you to get him off at some point, or if he was just content letting you rest on top of him like this, but you soon found that he had a much different answer—or rather, a question—that didn't at all take you into consideration.

"so, reiner, are you just going to stand there and watch all night?"

there was confusion for a brief moment, then a horrifying realization that made an ice-cold fear prick under your spine, blood draining from your face as you felt the fine hairs on the back of your neck raise, completely frozen at the knowledge that the worst of the night you had imagined had come true. zeke's hand didn't stop its slow petting across your head, arm fastening around your body, seemingly in preparation for you to start squirming or fighting to get away. but you couldn't move an inch, not even enough to turn your head and risk a glance at your friend who was apparently right at the door.

"well?" his voice rumbled low in his chest once more, dripping with arrogance, entirely absent of any shame, just tempting him to step past the unseen boundary that had kept him there for however long he'd been watching, "i know, i know, you haven't your fair share all night. it's just so, sohard to let go once you finally get your hands on her. you should know all about that feeling, right?"

"fuck you."

you felt a warm curl in your stomach at the sound of his voice, breathing short and fast as your heart skipped anxiously, but mentally almost enjoying the fact that he was feeling something for you, even if it was some sort of possessive envy. the sound of his heavy, uneven footsteps making their way towards the bed.

he clearly still sounded drunk—who wouldn't be after so many beers in one sitting—and that was probably why he didn't hesitate at all to start tugging his clothes off, the ruffle of fabric and clinking metal of a belt being unbuckled finally snapping out of your compliant state, shaky arms trying to push yourself in bed. zeke allowed you to sit up, hands dropping to your thighs as your foggy gaze wandered from his face over to reiner at the bedside, heartbeat nearly drowning out the other sounds in the room as it drummed loudly in your ears.

"you don't mind, do you?" zeke called your attention back to him, gently stroking up and down your thigh just as he had been when you'd first accepted his offer.

your mouth had gone dry, leaving you struggling to get enough saliva back for your tongue not to stick to the roof of your mouth, feeling the heat of arousal flickering back to life when his cock twitched inside of you. did you mind? well you definitely minded the humiliation, the anxiety taut within your chest that made each breath an effort, the fact that you had no idea what was going on or would happen next. but did you mind enough to force yourself off of him, to struggle to collect your clothes from the ground and stagger out of the room with shaky legs that you weren't sure were capable of doing even that right now? did you really want this?

but it seemed that the choice had already been made in both of their minds, your answer—or lack thereof— speaking for your choice in the matter as zeke's hands lifted you up off of his lap, enough for him to slip out from under you. the sudden emptiness after being so full made you whimper, falling back down onto your calves in the middle of the bed and staring down at zeke's cock, slick with your arousal and still aching to be tended to.

the sinking weight of reiner clambering onto the bed behind you made you exhale a shaky breath, still in disbelief as his hand settled on your cheek, turning your head to face over his shoulder to press his lips onto yours. his kiss was messy but familiar, his low moan making you shiver alongside the feeling of zeke's stare wandering across the display before him. your exchange didn't last long before he pulled away, gazing at you with an unreadable look in his golden eyes for a moment, hand moving to the back of your head to push you down onto your hands and knees.

you obediently complied, met with the sight of zeke's cock once more, peering up to meet his gaze, features showing a mixture of eager expectancy and relaxed pride, just knowing that you were willing to do whatever he asked of you. and he relished in the changes your expressions went through in the next few seconds, the way your eyes widened when reiner's hands grasped your soft hips, how you swallowed thickly to try and get enough saliva down your tongue to get your mouth ready, and finally your mouth falling open and face twisting when reiner eased himself entirely into you in one solid thrust, finding little resistance from how soaked you were. you whimpered out a shaky curse, fists bunching up the sheets under you as he picked up a steady rhythm from behind you, zeke's fingers tangling into your hair and guiding onto your parted lips onto his awaiting cock.

he groaned out at the wet heat of your mouth engulfing him, tongue laving up over the underside of his length as you did your best to take as much of him in as possible without gagging. you wanted to be ashamed of how much you were enjoying the feeling of being entirely overwhelming, fuller than you'd ever felt in your entire life, but you'd be lying to yourself if you said that you'd made a mistake by giving in to the lustful temptations. you could feel your eyes water as zeke hit the back of your throat, your teary gaze and muffled moans against him only seeming to enthrall him further. reiner's hands felt up your waist, one reaching down your front to pinch and roll a nipple between his fingers, driving more stifled sounds and shaky breaths through your nose out of you.

you felt yourself squeezing around his cock, earning yourself a few low, muttered curses as he began to pound even faster into you, evidently approaching his limit just as fast as you are. the hand in your hair was guiding you up and down on the cock in your mouth, the tip of your nose just brushing zeke's stomach each time you surged forward with the momentum of the thrusts from behind you. it was all far too much in the best way possible, vision going hazy at the edges from the lack of proper air you could get into your lungs, insides aching from overusing alongside the tight knotting deep in your gut that was threatening to send you over the edge.

it was zeke that came first, heat pooling over your tongue and spilling down your throat, nearly too much for you to swallow as you tried not to choke. but he kept himself in your mouth and his hand firmly grasping your hair, if not to feel the hum of your desperate whines across your skin then to admire your pathetic expression, half-lidded eyes barely able to hold themselves open enough to stare back at him as you came hard for the second time that night. you could hear reiner give a generous groan of your name, thrusting as deep as he could go just a few times more, having enough sense to not cum inside you, pulling out and making a sticky mess of your trembling thighs.

only after you'd blinked away the glossiness in your eyes did zeke pull himself out of your mouth with a wet pop, holding your head up to appreciate the way your mouth still hung open to gasp in much needed gulps of air, tears and saliva dripping down your chin, halfhearted whimpers still escaping you as you trembled.

"you have good taste, reiner." zeke said, releasing your hair and letting you rest your cheek down against the mattress under you, grabbing his glasses off the side table and putting them back onto his face.

you watched as he stepped off the bed, picking out his clothes from the messy array of garments strewn about on the floor and tugging them on. he fished a handkerchief out of the the pocket of his pants, tossing it at reiner's side and glancing over your body, offering you a lazy smile when he caught your gaze.

"clean her up," he instructed, reaching out to give one last soft touch down your back, "and don't give her anymore trouble, alright? i expect to see you bright and early tomorrow."

you assumed that reiner nodded, since zeke turned without another word and exited the bedroom, making sure to shut the door behind him. for a moment, there was uneasy silence, only occupied by your breaths and the faint sound of zeke pulling on his boots somewhere in the living room and leaving out the front door. you gave a low hiss at the feeling of the fabric smoothing down the backs of your thighs, skin far too sensitive for your liking and legs aching uncomfortably.

you lifted your head up enough to wipe your chin with the back of your hand, eyes and limbs heavy with the desire to sleep. there were no words exchanged as he helped you move to lay down on your back, his face just as tired as he'd looked at the bar, but there was something else weighing down his expression as you took his face in your hands, staring up at him with a soft look of concern.

and though he still said nothing, he kissed you, so much gentler than he'd ever kissed you, with a tenderness that made you want savor this brief moment for as long as you could. but he eventually pulled away, and the brief worry that he might leave just as his captain had minutes before, but he rested down beside you with a low sigh. he didn't protest when you curled into the warmth of his body, head finding a comfortable place on his chest, not even bothering to try and venture out onto the floor to turn off the lamp before you settled down and let your eyes fall shut.

it was easy to fall asleep after he wrapped his arms around you, firm chest rising and falling with steady breaths, heart slow in your ear. you didn't think about the fact that you'd probably wake up alone in the morning, or that walking properly would be a monumental task on its own without even considering going to work to stay on your feet for the entire day—just appreciated this night while he couldn't slip away from you like all the other times before.

233 notes · View notes

thatgoblin · 3 years

Text

I posted 8,306 times in 2021

1210 posts created (15%)

7096 posts reblogged (85%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 5.9 posts.

I added 2,725 tags in 2021

#resident evil - 517 posts

#fanfiction - 374 posts

#resident evil fanfiction - 299 posts

#emery asks - 290 posts

#chris redfield - 286 posts

#chris redfield x reader - 219 posts

#carlos oliveira - 212 posts

#leon kennedy - 199 posts

#carlos anon - 172 posts

#emery speaks - 157 posts

Longest Tag: 134 characters

#that's not true. this footage was taken in early 1912. perhaps february or march. she was in her late stages of construction and still

My Top Posts in 2021

RE Boys x Inexperienced Reader

Carlos

Carlos himself has been known to be a loverboy of sorts. More of a flirt and date multiple people at the same time kind of guy. Mostly because he just can't seem to find someone he wants to do the mundane with.

With you, he wants to spend Sundays folding laundry or sitting on the couch watching TV while you read a book. That comfortable togetherness is what has him get serious with you and declare you his partner.

That said, when he finds out you've had one or two, maybe no previous relationships, it doesn't scare him off. He's a laid back guy and doesn't put too much pressure on things or address them till they need to be.

Even if things get serious enough that one of you moves in with the other, he helps you do what needs to be done. IE, his or your name is put on the lease, discussing splitting bills, chores, what stuff stays or goes, etc.

Those all seem so natural and easy.

What's not easy is when you two get into arguments. It's rare and usually one of you is stressed out or tired or hungry. It's never really anything too serious.

At first you clammed up, unsure if this was the argument that meant you two would break up. It wasn't like you two had been together long, but it was your first argument and you weren't sure how to act afterwards. You both had said things that weren't okay, but after a bit of time to cool off, you talked.

While you were prepared to beg him not to break up with you, he could only smile and chuckle.

'Couples fight sometimes. It happens. It doesn't mean I want to break up with you.'

Reassured, you felt better.

Boundaries were another point that you two had a long talk about.

Sometimes you wanted to be alone and didn't understand why Carlos didn't get that. It wasn't because you were mad or upset, you just wanted that bit of time to yourself for your hobbies or to just chill.

Carlos is very much a people person and thought something was wrong when you kept walking away from him.

It took some irritated back and forth before you realized just how much communication there was needed in a relationship. You had no clue that he wasn't trying to bother you, because you hadn't said you wanted to be alone.

There's speed bumps along the way, but you're both always getting better at learning as well.

Now for the more 'sensual' workings of your relationship

Like with the other aspects of you two, Carlos is laid back, but he also loves to show you new things.

If you're as adventurous as he is, he's ready to teach you new positions or share new toys or try new things in the bedroom.

But if at first you feel a bit over whelmed, that's okay. He'll go slow and easy on you.

Doing most of the work, not that he minds as he loves hearing you and watching you enjoy being pleasured, he'll help you find what you like and don't like.

See the full post

367 notes • Posted 2021-07-09 06:26:43 GMT

RE Boys Come Back to S/O Reader

For @aido-mitarashi cause I said I'd give some relief for the sadness.

Carlos

After 5 months, you've settled into a new routine. You're able to breathe again and not have a break down.

Work isn't as hard anymore. It's no longer a chore, but something you start to enjoy again.

You still wear a ring, despite not actually having been married. That relationship, you knew it was the one and deep down you weren't sure you could ever move on completely from it to start another.

It's a cloudy day, rain threatening to pour any second.

Even so, you decided to walk home. The car was in the shop and you had some restless energy to get out. With an umbrella at the ready, you started your journey home.

A few blocks away from home, it begins to rain, cooling down the area from the summer heat. You pop open your protection and keep walking.

People are pushing together as the rain came down harder, the tips of umbrellas pressed close to create a canopy of sorts for others who weren't as prepared.

While you were at the front of a group at a crosswalk, waiting for the light to change, people shuffled more, bumping into one another.

It really was an accident. No one had meant to push you so hard.

But someone stumbled into another and a domino effect happened.

You just happened to be the one on the end.

The umbrella flew off in the wind as you stumbled and fell into the street, tearing the knee of your pants and scraping your palms. That was the least of your worries.

Traffic had lulled, but not stopped.

A car was too close for you to have time to get up out of the way, its horn blaring as people screamed while you only had the chance to look up at in in fear.

It was so quick and you weren't sure what had happened, but the car never hit you.

'Move!'

Instead, a strong pair of arms had wrapped around you and hauled you back to the sidewalk.

The car continued on its way without stopping, the light turning to allow pedestrians to cross. Most people crossed, not knowing what had happened, but some stayed to make sure you were okay.

'Yeah, I'm okay,' you said as you stood up with a grunt, looking to see who saved you.

No. There was no way.

'I told you,' he said, smiling softly. 'I wouldn't leave you in a cold, cruel Carlos-less world.'

You weren't sure if you wanted to throw up or cry as you stared at him in shock. It was him. It was Carlos. His hair was short, scars littered the right side of his face and down his neck, but it was him.

'I. . .' You managed to get out before crushing your lips to his, unable to hold back as your hands clutched his shirt. You didn't care how or why, just that he was real and he was there.

'Don't leave me like that again,' you whimpered, pressing your forehead to his.

'Not ever again. I promise.'

See the full post

373 notes • Posted 2021-08-15 07:22:10 GMT

RE Boys x Submissive Reader

Warnings: Sexy stuff. Dom/Sub stuff from the bedroom to everyday life. Don't like, don't read.

Y/G = Your Gender

Requested by Anonymous

Carlos

It wasn't obvious at first, you were just always doing what he asked. Not that he asked for a lot.

"Hey babe, can you get the mail?"

"Sure!"

"Babe, can you help me find my phone?"

"Okay!"

"Can you do the laundry tonight while I'm at work so I have clean work clothes for in the morning?"

"Sure, babe!"

But then when he dipped his toe into bossing you around in the bedroom, hoooo boy did he find out big time.

"Suck my cock, baby. I wanna see those lips stretched around me."

"Yes, Sir."

"Tell me how badly you want me to just pound you into the mattress."

"Please! I need you inside me! I want you to fuck me so hard I don't walk for a week!"

Then it started to leak over into other aspects of your lives. Carlos was always a hypersexual person, something you could never fault him for. After all, the man couldn't keep his hands to himself in front of others, so when you two were alone in the house, he would take full advantage of it.

"Spread those legs. Yeah, just like that. Don't let the food burn."

"Fuck, Sir."

He wasn't a stranger to kink, but he never delved too deep in it before you came along. Carlos had been content with having sex as it was, no toys, names, kinks, just getting one another off.

But then you started to call him 'Sir' and his brain went Brrr.

So he told you to call him 'Sir' anytime you two were intimate. He quickly became adept at handling you, enjoying how malleable you were in his hands.

Carlos respected you of course, knowing you were a fully capable adult and when angered kind of scary, but when you called him 'Sir,' he knew you would be obedient and serving to his wants and needs because that was what got you off. Serving him.

Further into the relationship, learning more and more as you two went, he even got you a collar with 'Property of Sir' engraved on the tag.

It was almost like he'd proposed to you with how excited you were.

When the collar was on, you were his and his to do with as he pleased, something you both enjoyed thoroughly.

See the full post

393 notes • Posted 2021-09-01 08:55:27 GMT

RE Boys and S/O Reader Caught in the Field

Requested by @admin-in-residence

Leon

It had been a nice day outside, so you figured it would be okay for some time on the front porch of your house that you shared with Leon. He was busy for the day, thankfully doing office work and not out on a mission, so you were picking out dinner when you heard when you thought was thunder. Was it supposed to storm that day?

Getting up, you frowned as you saw the clear sky when another booming noise rattled the windows.

"What the hell?" You said under your breath as you and others from the neighborhood cautiously walked to the street to see what was happening. Everyone looked at one another before there were screams from down the street.

Monsters poured out of the sewer, lumbering awkwardly for anyone who wouldn't stay away. Some were fast and looked like humans, some were slow and missing body parts. The booms had been the monsters forcing their way out from the sewers.

"GET INSIDE! EVERYONE GET INSIDE!" You screamed as a few tried to crawl from the drain near you. As much as you wanted to help everyone else, you couldn't. Rushing back inside, you locked the door as the monsters began to over run your street. Checking the backdoor, you went upstairs to where Leon kept the guns in case of 'intruders.' You knew why he kept them and this proved him right.

Shit, what was the code though? Locking yourself in the bedroom, you pulled out your phone with shaky hands as you listened to your neighbors screaming for help as they were attacked.

"Come on, come on, pick up," you whimpered as you locked the window and shut the shutters.

"Hey babe-"

"Leon you need to get here now!" You cried, not letting him finish. "Those monsters, those-those B.O.W. things you hunt are here! They're in the street!"

"Get inside and lock the doors," Leon said. You could hear someone yelling in the background, probably just then getting the news of the attack.

"I am. What's the safe combination for the guns? I can hear them trying to get in," you said, trying to see if any of them got inside the house or not. You didn't think the human like monsters would do much, but there had been bigger ones with large claws and mouths that would swallow you whole.

"It's your birthday. Just get a gun and hide. Do not open that door for anyone but me, got it?" He said, panting as you heard him run. "I'm on my way. Stay on the line with me, okay?"

"Okay I'll-"

The phone cut out, showing the signal had been cut. Cursing, you set it aside as you put in the code and pulled out an assault rifle. Leon had made sure you knew how to use one and took you to the range often enough that you knew how to handle one.

Right then it was much more different that the range.

Grabbing a few clips and putting them in a holster belt you had grabbed as well, you armed yourself to the teeth. You had planned to hide in the closet, waiting for Leon, but you could hear people banging on your door, pleading for safety. This was your home and your friends. You couldn't just let them die out there.

Hurrying down the steps, you opened your front door to let the few neighbor kids who had been caught outside in. You raised the rifle, keeping it at the ready as a few other people ran towards you. Swallowing hard, you fired your first few rounds at the monsters who were trailing too close behind a couple who rushed in. Slamming the door shut, you locked it and then began to order everyone to stay away from the windows and head upstairs to the middle room where there were no windows and just one door.

You stayed on the stairs, watching and waiting as the screaming continued. It tore you up because you knew those people, they were your friends and neighbors, but you couldn't go out there. It was one thing to let a few people in to keep them safe than to go searching for survivors. That was Leon's job.

When the screaming was suddenly closer, inside the house, you left your perch and rushed upstairs to find the people, the kids and couple that had come to you for help were dead. Two of the kids had turned and bitten the rest, either killing them or turning them as well. Pushing down the memories of you and Leon talking to these people, of Leon being that cool guy next door for the kids to talk to about cars, the neighborhood block parties and dinners and holidays spent with them, you picked up your rifle and fired off till they were all dead.

Tears ran down your cheeks as you went back to your room, not noticing anything by the window till a monster came crashing in. It tackled you down, making you land on broken glass and wood from the window. Your leg was screaming in pain as you wrestled with the monster before being able to get your knife and plunge it into its head. You couldn't stay still though. More would be coming and the house was becoming less and less safe by the second.

Looking down, you saw your leg bleeding from the glass you landed on. Carefully, you held the piece that had lodged itself into your leg and pulled it out. Bandages were bountiful in the Kennedy household, so you were quick to wrap it up before deciding the basement was the best option.

As you hobbled towards the stairs, the sound of gunfire catching your attention. It wasn't one or two guns, it was a whole damn army. Grunting, you carefully came down the stairs, hearing someone or something get in through the back.

"Y/N!"

"Leon!" You cried, nearly falling over as you got down the stairs in time for him to catch you. "Oh god." You sobbed, holding him tight.

"Are you okay? Are you bit or hurt?" He asked, pulling back to look you over. "Who's blood is on your shirt?"

"I'm fine. I hurt my leg, but the blood isn't mine. It's-It was a monster and I tried to help some people, our friends, but someone was bit and the kids, Leon," you sobbed. "I had to do it. They were all turned and if I didn't-"

"Hey, hey, hey," he said softly, hushing you as he stroked your hair. "I know. I know. It's okay, I'm here now."

See the full post

471 notes • Posted 2021-07-12 08:58:05 GMT

RE Boys Overprotective of Reader

Requested by @sunnybarnesflowers

A/N: . . . Oops, I kinda did fics instead of headcannons. If you want me to still do the headcannons, let me know. lol

Leon

"I can do it, Leon," you said with a sigh. "It's just a bus ride from work. I've done it hundreds of times before you and I were even talking."

"I'm sorry, I don't like you taking the bus," Leon said over the phone. "It makes me anxious that you're on there alone and anything could happen."

"I told you to stop watching 'Speed' if it's going to make you like this," you said, chuckling at his exasperated huff.

"You know what I mean and it's not because I keep watching 'Speed.' I keep watching it because Keanu Reeves is an underrated actor and his chemistry with Sandra Bullock is amazing," Leon said. You could just see the smile tugging at his lips as he was starting to ease up on you.

"I will text you at each stop, there's only two, and when I get home, okay?" You said as you boarded the bus, swiping your metro card before taking a seat.

"What if I meet you at the first stop? I can get off work in the next five minutes and meet you there so you don't have to take the full ride," he said.

"Leon, it's okay. I'll be fine. It's just the bus, one of the safest ways to travel," you said, getting a bit irritated that he wouldn't let up. Being protective was one thing, but this was going to a whole new level. "What is up with you? You sound like you've read every horror story about public transit and think it's the devil."

"I just. . . Look, please text me at each stop and when you get home. Please?" He voice was tight, worrying you a bit.

"Le, what's going on?" You asked softly, taking a seat by a window. "You're a protective guy, but this is going overboard, even for you."

"Work," he said. "I can't talk about it. Right now at least, but just please keep me updated."

"How about this," you said, wanting to help ease his mind. "I'll stay on the line with you for the entire ride, it's only half an hour, okay? We don't have to talk, but you'll know I'm okay on the ride."

"Thank you," Leon said with a deep sigh. "Hey, I love you."

"I love you too, dork," you said with a soft giggle.

See the full post

797 notes • Posted 2021-07-18 00:55:27 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

#my 2021 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

19 notes · View notes

apixrl · 3 years

Text

SINCERELY, YOURS.

hanta sero x fem!reader

WARNING(S): none

word count: 3.0k

song: sincerely, yours // nohidea

note(s): i just think that he'd be the perfect hubby tbh (EDIT: I'M SO DUMB I POSTED W/O TAGS PFAHAHHA)

Hanta finally managed to force open the door to the log cabin that had long been awaiting your arrival, the wooden structure welcoming the approaching warmth and laughter of the newly wedded couple. The ravenette smirked joyously and let out a triumphant 'hoorah', your laughter only adding to the display of ego on his face.

"And you said I'd drop you," Hanta mocked your earlier words, looking down at you with that very same smirk. If not for your arms wrapped around his neck and entire weight held in his arms, you most likely would have pushed his face away by the cheek. To avoid that shit-eating, joking smirk that rarely left his dumb and lovable face. The face you fell for so undoubtedly swift and heavy.

"I didn't say you would I said you may drop me," Was your response. "It's not every day we walk through so much snow!"

"Hush now, that was nothing to me," Hanta lifted the arm that supported your back, planting his lips on your forehead in a sweet welcoming kiss. Your lips curled in approval, accepting the gesture as Hanta used his foot to close the door behind you both, driving away the cold breeze from outside as warmth replaced it. "Now would you look at this place!"

Heeding Hanta's words, your eyes averted from his addicting gaze to the bonnie log cabin interior set out before you two. From left to right the cabin maintained an earthy theme, consistent in wooden textures excluding that of the supple beige sofas in the centre of the room. They were accompanied with ripening red cushions, as well as a few other pieces of furniture containing the same colour to maintain an advertising aesthetic no doubt. Lengthy beams stretched from one end of the walls to the other, set out in rows. The deepest wall (opposite to the entrance) was made mostly out of glass and onlooking a gorgeous snowy forest scene, small golden lights lit up outside to only add to the aura already presented. Built-up by red bricks and extending up toward the ceiling was a great open fireplace, already sparked alight and sensing a contrasting warmth to the bitter cold outdoors. In the corner of the room were a set of stairs most likely directing themselves off to the bedroom, though you and Hanta were so taken by the bottom floor's interior neither of you even processed there were more rooms to see.

"Wow... this place is gorgeous!" You said through a whisper, face lighting up at the sight. Never had you thought a place could be so beautifully arranged and so beautiful in general, and the two of you had this place to yourselves for an entire two weeks... it made you feel like the luckiest person alive! That you were really, as you'd just tied the knot the love of your life and were starting an entirely new journey with him. From the very moment you'd both uttered 'I do' in front of all your friends and family - the paths you lead became one that you would waltz down together.

"So you like it then?" Hanta asked, ebony eyes trailing away from the open fire and down to your own E/C irises. His smirk slowly transitioned to an endearing grin upon seeing your face of wonder, heart skipping a beat as your gaze met his and your expression mirrored.

"Of course! It's just how I imagined it - even more stunning than the pictures online," Your hand grazed Hanta's gloved one, though the barricade of wool and cotton did nothing to prevent the love and desire sent through the tips of your fingers. The ravenette admired your beauty in that lingering stare shared between you, exhaling a content sigh. You never failed to astound him with your beauty, the way your eyes glowed whenever you looked at him. How your hair fell perfectly into place no matter the circumstance (even on your worst of hair days you somehow managed to make it work). Not to mention your smile and laugh - those specific factors alone making Hanta fall for you over and over and exceeding limits of love and admiration he didn't even think he possessed.

Just before Hanta was to fall into daydream you shook him out his thoughts, the shifting of weight in his arms struck him to shake out of it, realising that you were attempting to shuffle out his arms in order to stand. So he let you down, grip loosening and reluctantly allowing you to step away.

"I'm glad," He quickly uttered, his hand lifting to his head to remove the woolly hat resting there. Then he proceeded to unbutton his winter coat as did you, the pair of you making light work of it due to the excitement of exploring your temporary home.

"So our suitcases are already here?" You asked Hanta, straightening out your knitted turtleneck jumper which was a soft pink shade. Usually something you wouldn't wear, but it was well-suited for the weather and didn't irritate your skin. So you took advantage of the purchase. From your left Hanta hummed softly, turning towards you once he was done hanging his coat on the rack. He too had a turtleneck on, but his donned a collect of abstract patterns and stuck to more neutral colours than yours.

"Yep, they should be upstairs," Hanta replied, running a hand through his hair as he looked over at you. He shifted over to your side, hugging you from behind with a mischievous chuckle. "But we can unpack tomorrow,"

"I like the idea of that, I just wanna snuggle," You responded with a giggle, leaning back into your husband's hold. After a few seconds Hanta stepped forwards, forcing your feet to follow suit. The ravenette guided you both to the nearest sofa, where he messily fell back against the ruby red cushions and you alongside him.

"That's because you procrastinate more than you've ever been willing to admit," Hanta turned you over so you sat atop his middle, hands settled on your hips like they were structured to hold them. There was a smirk on his face as you rolled your eyes at his last comment.

"I procrastinate because you distract me," You corrected, poking his chest with a prominent finger.

"Ah well, what can I say? I'm just that pretty aren't I?" He replied, laughing joyously. You couldn't help but echo with your own form of a chuckle, shaking your head as the smile on your face sent Hanta all kinds of elated emotions through his veins.

"You're not wrong there, Tiger," You grinned ear to ear, staring lovingly in his direction. Words weren't enough to express how much you loved him, your mind struggling to form sentences most of the time with just how much he took your breath away. In truth, you would have allowed yourself to remain gazing into Hanta's eyes the entire night. But you were due to catch sight of an envelope on the coffee table next to you both, drawing your attention away from him as fast as it came. The item too out of the ordinary to ignore. Peculiarly you leaned over to grab it, tilting your head at the item.

"What's that?"

"I don't know," Was your answer. Your fingers proceeded to slit open the top, discovering a smaller, folded piece of paper inside. Curiously you opened it up, voice filling the room as you discovered golden ink was printed on one side and intended to read it out.

" Dear Mr and Mrs Sero,

We are beyond pleased that you chose to stay with us for your honeymoon. Have a wonderful and splendid time at the start of your journey together and we wish you nothing but happiness and joy during your stay.

Kindest regards,

[resort/name] "

"Mr and Mrs Sero," Hanta repeated with a thoughtful stare to the wooden beams above. "I'm still not used to hearing that and we've already been married a week," A smile formed on his lips, releasing a chuckle from the depths of his chest. Almost like he couldn't believe the words he had just uttered. Tilting your head, you pondered on what he meant.

"How do you mean?" You didn't receive an answer straight away, the man you called your husband gently sighed, almost with the case of the lovesick. Somewhere during the exhale Hanta's eyes fell from the beamed ceiling and onto you, gratitude threaded in his expression as he stared at you.

"I just don't know how I got so lucky to marry someone like you," His hand extended to cup your cheek, cradling the slightly chilled part of your face (thanks to the cold air and wind from outside) as his thumb stroked the surface of your skin. Your eyes widened, all too used to the gesture but rarely ever prepared for it whenever Hanta committed to it. You smiled, nuzzling into his warm hold as your eyes closed.

"Me too," You hummed, sighing out yourself as your heart fluttered higher and higher with each passing second. A short silence ensued, ending as you abruptly let out a little laugh. It caught Hanta's attention, his head cosying into the cushion behind him as his brows raised.

"What?"

"Oh, nothing. I was just thinking about the night you proposed. That's all," Another laugh escaped, humour striking you as you recalled how it had played out. From the manner your lover rolled his eyes, he clearly still hadn't emotionally recovered from it.

"That stupid fire pit," He groaned, eyes closing in annoyance. "I can't believe I let it ruin the moment,"

"I don't think that was the fire's intention, Hants,"

Despite being blatantly confident and bold, when it came to more... intimacy-related things, Hanta Sero's expertise dwindled dangerously. It had taken him months of knowing you to actually ask you out on a date, and when you finally got together? Well, it took him four years before he began to think about popping the question - three months more to actually pop it. Whilst you did say yes once he got down on one knee on the balcony of your holiday home for your fourth anniversary together, the events that proceeded after were what truly traumatised the poor ravenette.

Your holiday was spent somewhere in the Caribbean at a beachside residence that locals rented out for tourists. You and Hanta had always been big on travelling, hence your honeymoon location being such an unconventional place. Or as far as you knew, you didn't have an exact number on how many honeymoons were spent in remote mountain ranges surrounded by blustering winds and snow. It was a nice change of pace to the intense heats nearer the Equator.

During that vacation in particular though, that was the year Hanta finally decided to propose. After a long day on the beach, swimming in the ocean and feeling the sand between your toes as evening approached, you watched the sunset on the balcony of the second floor, neighbouring your bedroom. To set the mood the firepit in the centre had been lit, creating a stunning orange glow in Hanta's eyes as he held you close to his chest.

You noticed he was quite fidgety in his seat, wondering what was wrong with your lover as he gripped his knee tight. Like he was uncomfortable or nervous. Like he needed to get something off of his chest. It was only when you pointed out your concern and his odd behaviour that Hanta managed to shift his stance. Moving from his stiff position to wobbling on one knee, then came the heartfelt speech that gave you a sense of where he was going. A subtle reach into his pocket and before you knew it, you were shouting yes into the night sky and your eyes foggy with tears of complete and utter joy.

Hanta placed the ring on your finger, the realisation hitting him at that moment that you and he were engaged. His excitement got the better of him, the male sweeping you in his arms and swinging you around as he babbled sweet nothings into your ear. The speed wavered his balance, his leg knocking into the table holding a bottle of wine he had ordered specifically for the occasion. Much to both of your bad luck, it all collapsed against the firepit and tipped it over - and one can only imagine what happened next. A rather chaotic ruckus erupted between you as Hanta grabbed you by the waist and flung you both out of the building via the balcony to ensure your safety. Then he 'thwipped' straight back up to the fire and frantically searched for the fire extinguisher to put it out, all whilst you sat on the sandy ground outside, frozen to how drastically the mood had changed.

Luckily the fire didn't spread too far. If not for Hanta's efficiency in dealing with it upfront, it could have spread to the bedroom and the rest of the house. It did not, however, the most damage being the balcony sofas that were scorched no thanks to their wooden frame and white cushioning.

Despite having just been engaged, there wasn't much you and Hanta could do to celebrate. So the night ended with you and he falling to slumber in the early hours of the morning, too exhausted after dealing with the owners' wrath after the slight mishap of nearly setting their building ablaze.

"At least you didn't burn the entire house down," You tried after a few seconds of quiet, earning a scoff on Hanta's part as he ran a hand through his hair.

"It felt like it when I called the owner's to tell them what happened," Hanta answered, softly frowning at the shrieking yells he heard during that call ringing their way through his mind again. Long after he'd shut them out based on the humiliation of being on the receiving end. You giggled, recalling how you were able to hear them despite the phone not being on speaker.

"I'm surprised they let us stay for the rest of the week,"

"That's because I paid the money for the damage caused within six hours of them demanding it," Hanta reminded you, dragging his hands down his face as he groaned out. Probably expelling his inner cringe at his foolishness that night. "Times like that make me relieved I'm a top ten pro, helps out with emergencies a great fucking deal,"

"Are you sure that didn't play any part in their generosity? That you're a top ten pro?"

"No way," He said and sat up to meet your height, hands looping to cradle the small of your back. He held back continuing to briefly peck you on the lips. "The bill they gave me was the complete opposite of generous,"

"How much was it again?" You asked, memory not serving you the answer. The ebony-haired male leaned forwards to kiss you again before he moved his lips up to your ear. His voice became a whisper, telling the sum in Yen which made your eyes widen in astonishment.

"Wow," Was your instinctive reply, Hanta scoffing a laugh in agreement based on your tone of surprise. It was there he nuzzled into your neck, inhaling through his nose to catch a whiff of your scent. The aroma acting as a sedative to wipe the memory from his mind permanently. All he wished to remember of that night was the way your face lit up as he asked you to take his hand in marriage. How your tears formed and how your lips uttered the words he had oh, so desperately wanted to hear after months and months of worry of being rejected.

And look at you both now; husband and wife and on your honeymoon. Holding each other as close as close can be with no doubt or hesitancy in your minds at all. Why he had worried so much was something he would never be able to figure out. As looking back, all of it felt like the easiest thing he had ever had to do.

Due to that, Hanta smiled into your neck. The change could have been missed, but you were far too attentive to not notice. The feeling of his cheeks shaping his smile made you smile as well, your arms wrapping around Hanta's neck in a desperate need to pull him closer. Your fingers ghosted the back of his neck, tickling the hairs that attached with care like no other. You rested your chin on his head, eyes closed gently in comfort. In response, Hanta hummed lowly, hands starting to rub up and down your back like he was giving you a massage.

Silence passed, the two of you simply enjoying the other's company and the intimate moment you had welded together. The proximity created a warmth that could fight any cold, the fireplace behind you both unneeded to fight the swirling snow outside. Your eyes peaked open as the faint crackle of the fire nearby caught your attention. You watched the flames dance for a second or so before you plucked up the confidence to speak.

"Just... let's not set fire to this place. Alright?" You mused, holding your breath as you waited for Hanta's response. Luckily he didn't dismiss it, actually finding the comment quite funny. He voiced a blurt of a laugh, head shaking as much as he could make it whilst it buried into the depths of your neck. Hanta's mouth opened to make his reply, quickly hushing up again to return to the peaceful silence of before, not at all ready to let it go just yet.

"Agreed,"

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