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bbyquokka · 2 years

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：🍡 ♡ . ⁺ ᘏ : stress relief

➥ pairings: Bang Chan x fem!reader

➥ genre: idol!au | smut | MDNI

➥ synopsis: chan is feeling stressed at work, so you pay him a visit to help him 'relax'

➥ words: 2.7k

➥ tags: @lix-ables | @sstarryoong | @ipegchangbin | if you wished to be tagged in this mini series, lemme know

➥ m.list – ➥ cock warming m.list – ➥ you can also read it on my ao3

Feedback and reblogs are highly advised and appreciated!

you [20:07]: i miss you 🥺

Chan [20:07]: i miss u too babe. sorry, work is just hectic rn 😞

you [20:08]: when will u be home?

Chan [20:08]: in an hour or so. shouldn't be too long babe.

you [20:10]: okay. i love you 💘

Chan [20:11]: i love you too pup 🖤

An hour had passed and there was no sign of Chan. Your guess is that he got so caught up in his work, he lost track of time. It's pretty common for him to do that. When Chan gets lost in his work, he zones out. He disregards his needs, forgets where he is. He becomes hyper focused, which can be worrying.

Chan is the type of person to want to get things done on time, however, he is a perfectionist. He always has been from day one. Being in the spotlight has only made it worse.

You and his members have told him countless times that he should always take care of himself. He does, for a while, then he falls back into his bad habits. Comeback season is the worst for chan. The build up to it, the countless photoshoots, the endless hours of shooting music videos plus performing on stage – it's no wonder Chan becomes so stressed.

You know he loves his job. You also know he adores STAYS and would do anything to please them. However, what he fails to notice is that he cannot keep doing this. Being his girlfriend, you've had enough of seeing your boyfriend fail to care for himself. He always scolds you for skipping one meal or not drinking enough water, so now, it's your turn.

You picked up your phone bringing up your contacts list. You scrolled through, stopping at Changbin's contact. Pressing the green call button, you put your phone to your ear. It rang a few times, before changbin picked up.

"Hello?"

"Hey Changbin! It's y/n."

"Oh, hey y/n. everything okay?" Changbin spoke. His words sounding muffled, mouth full.

"Have you heard from Chan?" the sounds of noodles being slurped ran down your ear, making you shiver and cringe a little.

"Uh. Not since I left him at the office, why?"

"He said he would be home in an hour." You sighed softly, running your fingers through your hair.

"Let me guess." Changbin paused, drinking his ramen broth. "He's not home?"

"Mhm."

"He's probably still working then. If he's not with you or us, then he's probably still in the studio."

"Yeah." You sighed again. "That's what I thought."

"He was pretty stressed out when me and Ji were there. Thinking about it, he's been in a foul mood all day."

"He seemed a bit off this morning too. I wonder if the stress of the comeback is getting to him." You thought out loud.

"Probably. We all know what Chan is like during this time. He snapped at me suddenly."

"What?" Your eyes widen a little in disbelief. It's very rare for Chan to suddenly snap at someone, it's hard to get Chan angry regardless. So hearing that he snapped at his close friend indicated that he is stressed beyond belief.

"Yeah. It shocked me and Ji. Think he even shocked himself to be fair. He did apologize but it's not like Chan."

"Yeah, it's not." You mumbled. "I think I'm going to go see him. This is unacceptable. I can't have him acting like this."

"Hey, if he's going to listen to someone, then it's going to be you for sure." Changbin chuckled.

"Do you know if he has eaten or?"

"Mhm, probably not since lunch time."

"That's what I thought. I best get going then. Go convince the boyfriend to at least take a break." You groaned softly, walking to your shared bedroom.

"Chan and breaks? Yeah, good luck with that y/n." Changbin chuckled with a mouthful of rice.

"Thanks, I'll need it. Enjoy your meal, Changbin." You laughed softly before hanging up. You changed into something more comfortable and warm, considering that the nights are getting colder, you felt like it wasn't a smart idea to go out in a vest and shorts.

Grabbing your winter coat and shoes along with your purse, you walked out of your shared apartment, locking the door before making your way to the supermarket.

Knowing that Chan hasn't eaten or drank anything for hours, angered you slightly. Sometimes, you wish he learnt how to look after himself, be a little selfish and make himself priority number one. But no matter how many times you – or the members – scold him, he never listens.

You grabbed some microwaveable rice and ramen along with some snacks and water that claims it's 'packed full of vitamins and minerals.' Paying for your little shop, you headed to the JYP building.

◃───────────▹

The streets are fairly calm and collected, with the occasional passer-by's and cars. The night sky was clear, giving you a glimpse of the shining stars. It was a full moon tonight, much to your liking. The moonlight shone on the pavement giving you more lighting than the streetlamps.

You stopped to take a quick snap at the moon and stars, smiling softly as you looked at it. Feeling the tips of your fingers quickly freezing up, you put your phone away, placing your hands in your pockets.

The air is icy. A chill so cold it made the hairs on your arms stand up. Your breath shows every time you exhale. You soon arrived at the building. Making yourself known at reception, they happily let you through. You made your way to Chan's room, taking your coat as the stark contrast from the cold chill to the warmth was evident.

You knocked on the door, waiting a few seconds for permission. When you received nothing, you frowned, knocking again – nothing.

"Chan?" You spoke, slowly opening the door. You peeked your head out looking around. A small lamp provided minimal light compared to the harsh light radiating off his laptop screens. Your gaze fell on a very stressful looking Chan.

His brows furrowed together, stress lines evident on his forehead. His bottom lip caught between his teeth, chewing slightly – a bad self taught habit of his. His eyes flickering all over his laptop screen, fingers working their magic.

You closed the door quietly, noticing the headphones on his head over the hood of his hoodie. Makes sense why he didn't hear you knock. With a heavy sigh, Chan fell back in his seat. The seat rocking from the impact as he rubbed his tired face with his hands before taking his headphones off.

"Knock knock." You spoke softly. Chan jumped, startled at the sudden voice. He looked at you, face softening.

"Hey pup!" You walked towards Chan, throwing your coat on the sofa behind him. You placed your plastic bag on his desk.

"Hey baby." You placed a hand on his shoulder, squeezing it gently. Chan swiveled in his chair to face you, opening his legs wide enough for you to stand between them.

"What are you doing here?" He questioned, planting his hands on your hips softly.

"Well, you said you would be home in an hour. The hour is up, so I came to see you instead. Plus–" You opened the plastic bag, taking out the grocery's you bought, placing them one by one on his desk. "I bought you dinner. Changbin told me you haven't eaten since lunch!"

Chan looked up at you sheepishly, feeling guilty. You folded your arms, eyebrows raised as you looked down at him.

"You can't keep doing this, babe. You have to take care of yourself! It's important! You always preach to me about it, so why can't you?"

"I'm sorry pup. It's just, I get so lost in work that I simply forget. Plus, I feel so stressed out right now."

"Yeah. Changbin told me you snapped at him earlier." Chan looked down at the mention of taking his frustration out on his friend. You sighed softly, pulling his head into you, resting it on your stomach.

"Babe I love you and all but you have to learn to take a break."

"I can't afford breaks right now." Chan mumbled, nuzzling his face into your stomach. He inhaled your sweet scent, humming softly.

"I get that but you don't work well under stress, babe." You stroked his hair softly, looking down at him.

"I know."

"So, whilst I'm here, take a break! I haven't seen you all day so I want to spend some time with you." You pouted. Chan nodded.

"Okay, I will take a break. When it's over, I have to finish this though. You can go home afterwards though."

"Hell no! I'm staying. I'll sit on the sofa and be as quiet as a mouse. You won't even know I'm here." You grinned.

Chan did indeed take that break. You convinced him to eat and drink something before he continued on with his work. You were lounging on the sofa, browsing through your phone.

The occasional sigh would leave his lips, the stress slowly creeping its way back. You soon got bored of your phone, placing it down beside you. You decided to watch Chan work, your eyes traveling up and down his body.

The way his legs spread open under the desk, hand wrapped around the mouse, his tendons moving with every click of the mouse. The sleeves of his hoodie rolled up to his elbows. His veins protrude on his arms, the way his muscles flexed with every movement. You couldn't help your thoughts from getting filthy.

You pressed your lips together in a thin line, eyes closing as your mind wandered into the unknown. Memories of when Chan would have his hand around your neck, fingers deep inside you, came flooding to you. His perfect, lean body hovering over you as his hips smacked against yours, body slick with sweat. His eyes focused on you and provided you with intense pleasure – fuck, when was the last time you two were intimate with each other?

You know you shouldn't, you know Chan is stressed but you couldn't help the lust pooling in your core. You couldn't help but feel your panties slowly sticking to your skin due to your juices. You couldn't help but feel flush, besides, it's not your fault you have such a handsome boyfriend.

You stood up off the sofa, slowly walking behind chan. You draped your arms over his shoulders, holding onto your wrist to lock him in. Chan took no notice of you, eyes glued to his screen as his fingers tapped away at the keyboard. You noticed his painted nails which only heightened your horny thoughts.

You leaned in, nuzzling your face into the crook of his neck. You inhaled his musk scent, heart pounding against your ribcage. You planted delicate kisses on the skin on his neck making Chan shiver. Smirking against his neck knowing he has finally become aware of you, you sucked and licked his neck.

A throaty groan rippled from his chest to the back of his throat, his hands frozen in place. You left purple bruises, feeling sorry for the scolding he was going to get from his make-up artist.

"Chan." You shakily spoke his name. Your skin heating up, cheeks flush as your needs escalate. "Chan, I need you."

"Pup." Chan spluttered. "Not now, I'm busy." You squinted, walking to his side. He looked up at your rosy cheeks and glossy eyes, his cock twitching in his pants.

"Please Chan. Just for a few minutes." You whined. "I need to feel your skin against mine. We haven't touched each other for so long, I'm craving you baby."

Chan bit his lower lip softly, pushing his chair away from his desk, leaving enough room for you whilst making sure he could still reach his laptop.

"Fine." He mumbled. "But only for a few seconds.' You nodded, stripping yourself of your pants. You straddled Chan's lap, his hands on your waist gently. You held onto his shoulders, whimpering softly as you finally got to see your handsome man properly.

"So handsome." You purred, kissing up his neck slowly. Chan tilted his head to the side allowing more access for you. His hands moving from your waist to your ass, cupping it.

He spreads your cheeks, squeezing them roughly. His cock getting hard underneath you. You purposefully sat on his crotch, rocking your hips slowly. You moved from his neck to his lips, capturing them against your own.

The kiss was fuelled with need and desire, it only made you more horny. You desperately grasped onto Chan, not wanting to let go. Teeth and tongues collided with each other, saliva mixing together. laboured pants leaving your lips as you increase the speed of your grinding.

"Pup, I have to work." Chan grunted against your lips, pulling away slowly. You pouted.

"But Chan." You grabbed his hand, guiding it down into your panties. Chan shivered as his fingers came into contact with your wet pussy. He rubbed your clit slowly as a soft sigh left your lips. His technique made you want more, so much more than fingers.

His fingers teasingly circled your entrance, fingers covering in your slick. You nuzzled into his neck, soft sighs hitting his skin. Whilst he was teasing your entrance and clit, his lips kissed your shoulder tenderly. He dipped a finger in your entrance, your walls welcoming him. Your essence and warmth coated his fingers as he thrusted it slowly.

You hummed softly, eyes closing. Soon, he added a second, scissoring and stretching you out. His fingers curled against your walls, stroking them with the sides of his fingers. Your pussy contacted and released around him, fingers getting soaked with each pull back.

"Chan, I need you." You pulled away from his neck, whimpering softly as you looked at your flushed boyfriend with glossy eyes.

"You have me, pup." He whispered.

"No. I need you." You slide your hand down to his crotch, squeezing his pulsating erection. Chan bucked his hips in your hand, grunting softly as he pulled his fingers out off your aching cunt.

"We can't, pup. I seriously have to work. We can when we get home." You whined at Chan, kicking your head back and groaning.

"I can't wait, Chan!"

"You have to. I have to mix Jisung's vocals for this track before tomorrow so we can work on something else." His arms extended to the side of you, fingers tapping away at his keyboard again.

"Can you at least put it in?" Chan's fingers stopped, his eyes looking at you as you pouted. "Pleaseee. You'll feel relaxed and stress-free. Plus, I feel so empty, Chan. I can't wait till home to get filled by you." You gave him your best puppy eyes.

Chan groaned softly, nodding before resuming his work. You smirked, pulling his cock out off his restraints as you pulled your panties to the side. You grabbed his cock by the base, skin hot against your hand. You rubbed his tip up and down your slit, coating it in your essence.

"Don't tease pup. If you want it in, do it now before I change my mind." Chan growled. You hummed softly, lifting your hips up before slowly sinking down on his cock.

You both groaned in unison. The warmth and wetness of your pussy along with the stretch was blissful to you both. You sunk all the way down, burying your head into his neck.

You kept still. The warmth of your pussy suffocated chan. Your walls involuntarily clenched around him, making him groan softly from the back of his throat. He could no longer concentrate on his work, his focus shifting to you.

His fingers hovered over the keys, hand stationary on his mouse. He had to squeeze his eyes shut, think of something other than your warmth and your soft laboured pants. He felt you grip onto his hoodie, bundling it up in your fists. "Focus Chan, you have to work." was all he could tell himself.

He likes to think he has willpower, determination, but this was testing him and he's slowly failing.

"I can't do this." he finally spoke, hands grabbed your ass as he stood from his seat, his cock still inside you. You giggled softly against his skin as he gently placed you on the sofa before towering over you. He placed his hands by your head before slowly thrusting.

"You feel too good around me, pup. How am I supposed to concentrate on my work?"

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kirchefuchs · 1 year

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(BACK AT IT AGAIN, PEOPLE!)

So earlier I was listening to No Surprises by Radiohead.

Listen to it right now and tell me that it's not Stanley-coded, I freaking dare you–

I AM NOT JOKING HERE, IT IS THE MOST PERFECT SONG FOR HIM AND LET ME GO ON A LONG EXPLANATION AS TO WHY I CLAIM SUCH THING

aHem now let's get to the lyrics 💯

"A heart that's filled up like a landfill

A job that slowly kills you

Bruises that won't heal"

(Already. I bet you can already see what I mean by this–)

Imagine being Stanley for a second. Dude is literally stuck in a parable all his life (I mean, if the one he has right now still counts) with a narrator who is only coded to care about him when Stanley's actions directly affect either it or the story (I love The Narrator with all my life I swear but he's a bit of a jerk in the canon so <//3).

And Stanley has a job. Every single day (reset), he's always sent back to the very beginning. As the hours go by, every little detail that he's slowly grown to despise torments him — it's slowly killing him and the only thing he can do is suck it up and move on. He's essentially "working" in a soulless ghost of a company with no way out and is forced to live every single waking moment of his life with The Narrator, listening to his voice drone on and on and on and on until Stanley's sick of it but can only wish that he could die permanently without the curse of coming back at the end (is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never th...) of each path.

Who wouldn't hate it?

He's living in his own, personal hell, with no way to just stop and breathe and relax without The Narrator just deciding to come along and ruin it all. No matter how many bruises, none of them will heal.

Let's move on to the next part, shall we?

"You look so tired, unhappy

Bring down the government

They don't, they don't speak for us"

You can imagine "the government" as "The Narrator" in this. With every loop coming full circle, who wouldn't feel tired? Who wouldn't feel exhausted, even if your physical stamina has been reset? Who wouldn't feel unhappy?

Who wouldn't, other than The Narrator?

He only wants Stanley to continue with the story. He only wants Stanley to just get along with it and give him an ending instead of just standing around because how dare he take a break– how dare he actually try to relax and heal for once. How dare he be human. How dare he try to prove he's in control. How dare he wave off The Narrator's obvious power. How dare he claim that he doesn't speak for him. How dare he. How dare he.

"I'll take the quiet life

A handshake of carbon monoxide

And no alarms and no surprises

No alarms and no surprises

Silent. Silent."

This. This. I think this speaks for itself but I'll proceed to go on a super long tangent anyway.

Quiet. Quiet is all he'll ever want. In every single moment of his life, The-freaking-Narrator is always there to screw him up one way or another, with the only exception being The Skip Button Ending. While I'm at it, I like to think that the Stanley Button in the epilogue didn't give him the reaction we've all absolutely loved (and also wanted) him to have. Instead, a sort of nostalgic and post-anger relief is all he'll ever feel towards it, knowing that this is most-likely the last time he'll ever have to hear The Narrator call him Stanley.

Finally, finally — there's silence. It's only him and the bucket. Only him and the rustling sounds of his shoes dragging against the sand. Only him and the occasional, howling wind. Only him and the relief of the end (was never the end was never the end was never the end was never th...). Only him and the quiet life. Only him. No longer does he need to be controlled. No more. None of that. No more alarms, no more surprises, just silence.

(THE END IS NEVER THE END IS NEVER THE END IS LOADING...)

No.. Why?..

"This is my final fit

My final bellyache with

No alarms and no surprises

No alarms and no surprises, please"

Oh.

I lied.

Of course he can't be free! Of course, of course, of course. How dare he actually want to be free. How dare he assume something as childish and as naïve as freedom. Tsk tsk, Stanley; I ought to bring back what you should have expected in the first place.

This is your story and I am your narrator. For all I know, you can't leave without me. You can't leave. You, can't, leave.

Oh, you're begging? Go on, beg. More fun that way, after all! Now get along with the story. Move your pathetic butt out of your office door. Good.

All of his co-workers were gone, what could it mean? Stanley decided to go to the meeting room; perhaps he had simply missed a memo.

(...Ahem, sorry, a cruel Narrator is just really fun to roleplay as, haha– Anyway, if you actually listen to the song and head to that part of the lyrics, the "this is my final fit, my final bellyache (with)" is calmer in comparison to the sudden thud– the sharp turn to the chorus ("no alarms and no surprises³/please"). That's what I basically wanted to convey while I was being weird (aka, going full-blown Narrator lmfao 💀); Stanley was taken back when he finally thought he was free.)

"Such a pretty house

And such a pretty garden

No alarms and no surprises (get me out of here)

No alarms and no surprises, please (get me out of here)"

Oh, if only.

If only.

If only he had the choice.

(ahem anyway, holy cuh-raP this is long asf– anyway local 🅰️non Notes: I would like to apologize to Pollux for making you super mean here 😞 But in all fairness, this isn't you. ...quite literally, lmfao–)

(Anyway!! hope you liked this one lolz– this is the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never th– oopsie! what I meant to say was– this is the end of today's ramble 💯)

— 🅰️non :D || 07/02/2023

I don't think I have much to add onto you're rant here. This was all very fun to read honestly. And don't worry about Pollux, lol.

He may be a squishy little cinnamon roll now. But back in hl2 he was very similar to how you portrayed him.

He was a lot meaner back then. It can be hard to be considerate of people's feelings when you can't feel them yourself. He's still cute tho ♡

#fanart #tspud #the stanley parable #tsp #ask #digital art #tsp narrator #tspud narrator #🅰️non

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wistfulenchantress · 6 months

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writing excerpt because im proud of it and i need to put it into the world. this is from a book im lowkey writing right now.

TW: mentions of abuse and suicide.

I nod, desperate to escape. Don't forget I'm always listening. His cold voice fills my mind. Unlike with Nyx, however, its presence doesn't retreat, instead sifting through my thoughts and memories. I fix my head quickly, I do love my father and I am so grateful that he is giving this help that I need. He is so generous and kind. The presence slithers out, leaving with a shiver. I sag slightly as my dad releases my shoulder, and walks away. I lean against the wall, breathing heavily.

After he has been gone for a minute or so, I sink to the floor, pulling my knees up to my chest. Nyx approaches delicately, sitting down next to me. I sigh, leaning my head against her shoulder. “What can I do?” she murmurs, leaning her head against mine, her braid falling against my shoulder. “He didn’t hit me, so that’s a plus,” I respond slowly.

“What did he do?” Nyx ignores my attempts to be positive.

“He said he hadn’t appreciated me enough. Then he told me that I will be taking more classes, since my abilities are lacking.”

“Lacking? Most of us haven’t even chosen a medium yet.”

“And he wants me to try other mediums.”

“He wants you to specialize in multiple mediums? Only one person has ever done that…” Nyx trails off. My breath hitches, and I pull up, looking over at her. She blinks rapidly, and I place a hand on her knee. “I’m ok,” she assures me. I nod slowly, and check my watch. “We should get food. You want to get it delivered to my room?”

Nyx nods, her chin tight. I grab her hand, pulling her up. We walk back to my room, fingers still intertwined. Neither of us feels secure enough to let go, until the door is closed behind us. Then we both sit down, again, slowly, leaning against the bathroom door.

“I didn’t mean to bring her up.”

“It’s fine. Not your fault.”

We continue to sit in silence. Nyx’s mother was a trailblazer who got stuck in a bad marriage. She’s the only real person proven to have mastered two mediums. But she killed herself when Nyx was only two. And her dad, who was already a disruption, fell so deep into alcoholism that the organization had to erase his mind and send him on the streets of Nuubeth. It’s the only time the organization has ever had to do it. Nyx doesn’t like to talk about them much.

“What should we get for supper?”

“I could go for some pasta.”

“Great.” I stand up and walk over to order. I press the small red button. “Hey, could I get two plates of pasta delivered to my room?” I ask the small microphone. “Right away, ma’am,” the intern’s voice comes out through the speaker.

“Thank you,” I tell them, turning back to Nyx. She has stood up, and is walking over to me. I start walking towards her, too, and we melt into each other’s arms. “I’m sorry that I made it about me,” she murmurs into my shoulder.

“Never apologize,” I whisper in reply. We break apart slowly, and I am left feeling colder than before.

The food arrives within five minutes, and we eat the stringy noodles on my bed while laughing about when Madame C found out that the schedule had changed. “Her flush went several shades darker,” Nyx gasps.

“I know!” I exclaim, “And she didn’t even apologize! She just moved on with class.”

“Yes! She went ‘Well then,’ and continued on like she hadn’t been yelling at us for an hour!”

We dissolve into giggles. “Good old Madame C,” Nyx sighs, and I nod wisely. “Wise beyond her years of all things not related to the class she teaches, I am sure.”

Nyx inclines her head slightly in agreement. “I am sure. She just happens not to be wise in the matter of when her class starts.”

We laugh, and continue eating.

Nyx tells me about the look on Madame C’s face as my dad pulled me out. I describe her face after Nyx skipped out of the room, leaving her with the new name.

I convince Nyx to sleep on my couch, which is, regrettably, still nicer than her room. They really do treat most trainees here like dirt. My luck for having such well connected family members. My dad runs the entire organization, and my brother, Amari, is a top agent.

My luck, indeed.

#writeblr #writer #writers on tumblr #feedback? maybe?

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starakex · 2 months

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Otakuthon 2024 Cosplay Recap

I used to do con recaps and I kinda miss it. I'm still writing down post-mortem entries on costumes offline to keep track of the good and the bad of a costume's first wear, though. It's helped me learned from mistakes and apply solutions to future builds to avoid issues.

While I don't really wanna review the con itself, I think making these logs public is very relevant information to pair up with Build Logs, so it's time to revive the tradition.

So, let's set the stage real quick. This is at Otakuthon, and it's a 35k+ people convention that keeps happening in the middle of a heat wave almost Every. Damn. Year. Also, 35k+ people is very much over the limit the convention area can comfortably take. Also it was humid as all hell. And so, so hot.

On a personal level, I've been dealing with general hobby exhaustion from things like wig burns, The Sensory Bullshit That Is Stage Makeup, and spending too much time stressing over keeping a costume intact for photos. So this year, the goal was "Silly, Casual, and No Bullshit." No wigs, no makeup, and everything has to be carry-able in a bag or two on public transit. Having begun this philosophy shift after last year's Otakuthon, I made three costumes during the year, leading to debut them during the 2024 edition.

Friday!

Friday was Robed Man from hit video game Final Fantasy VII Remake/Rebirth. I made Cloud many years ago, but the exhausting perfectionism bullshit I was carrying within me was keeping me from feeling like making another named character from the series. Figured this would be a silly idea that could be re-worn for future Final Fantasy events. Friday was the perfect day for it since there was a Distant Worlds concert in the evening.

The Good:

Super quick to set up in the morning. Just a little bit of eye shadow to accentuate the dead fish look, throw the whole costume in a bag and it's good to go. More sleep, yay!

My purse fit under the whole thing for a seamless, accurate look, which was unintended but neat.

It was super easy to pull off and put back on within seconds whenever it got too hot.

The Bad:

It's supposed to be lightweight and breathable, but even with a tank top and shorts underneath I was sweating up a storm. The cloak is so big that it became too heavy to catch any air flow.

Despite pre-washing the fabric, the fabric's dye rubbed off on a couple things, notably the silicone on my water bottle and the rubber backing of some pins. Not on skin or clothes, thankfully.

Verdict: Worked as intended. a snap button's stitching broke on one of the scarves but the button stayed in place, so I quickly fixed it when I noticed it. As for the fun factor, it was great. It made for hilarious candid photos, and there was only a smidge of eye shadow to watch out for instead of the whole face being covered in makeup. It's absolutely unrecognizable IRL from the front though in a large convention setting full of costumed people, so not even FFVII cosplayers said anything 😭 It was fun to bring out for the concert, but I'm mostly looking forward to pulling it out for other small events now instead of cons.

Saturday!

Sonic was the costume for the big day. He was one of my dream cosplays when I first got into the hobby as a teen, so finally having it as a mascot cosplay was, well, SUPER HYPE. I was apprehensive bringing in a full-body mascot after sweating my ass off with just a cloak, but then decided I wasn't going to skip my chance to be Sonic and just go for it. I needed to do it at least once... The Good:

EVERYTHING (ish). SO HYPE

It was reasonable to carry in public transport with large enough bags. Not the most optimal, but more than acceptable. Two bags just so the shoes aren't rubbing on everything else.

I could put it on and remove it quickly without help, and wear it partially when I needed to cool off (arms tied at the waist and head in hand)

Surprisingly easy to navigate with. I didn't need a handler at all times, and spent most of my time fullsuiting by myself. Performing was comfortable, vision was very good straight ahead, and range of motion was excellent outside of the head spikes.

Against all odds, this was super comfortable despite the heat wave! The underlayer carried this entire experience. I could wear the full thing and perform in short hour bursts, then remove the head and pull the suit halfway down for a break with a neck fan, often while going to a panel or something like that. I was still sweating (drenched, even), but the underlayer just made it feel hot instead of sticky and disgusting and cooled down very quickly during breaks.

Sidenote, but I think I look really fuckin' cool with the head off and my badass disheveled hair. Like I felt REALLY COOL instead of worrying about ruining my makeup or whatever stressors I'd have with other costumes.

The donut-shaped support inside the head was great at redistributing the weight comfortably. Didn't have have neck or head pain the whole time.

Batteries for integrated head fans and neck fan did not run out with a whole day of wear.

The Bad:

The integrated head fans didn't seem help much. They didn't cool things to any noticeable degree, and the lack of mouthhole makes this a very sweaty head (especially compared to Wurmple; more below). They might've kept the head from being absolutely dogshit to wear, but it's hard to tell if it actually moved air around. Not a massive issue with the regular breaks, however.

Minor gripe, but the fan system I bought didn't have a on-off switch, so I had to dig in the battery pocket to unplug the fans every time I took a longer break.

The shoes, while easy to walk in, force longer strides that gave me quite the calf workout by the end of the day.

No major breaks during the day, but the shoes' rubber soles slightly peeled off in a few spots by the end of the day. Nothing a little contact cement can't fix., and technically "good" since it means I can safely remove and replace it if it gets too worn out.

I need someone to hold the head if I want to go to the bathroom, otherwise I'm having a really bad time.

Sonic looks kinda booby unfortunately but that's the perfectionist talking and I've vowed to destroy that mindset

Verdict: Holy shit this was worth braving the heat wave, worth all the hours trying to get the build looking just right, worth EVERYTHING! The reception from the people was awesome; I haven't talked to this many people in years, and everybody loved the mascot so much. I got to nerd out about Sonic, nerd out about the build, fist bump people and make them smile. It's my first fullsuit and it turns out I also love the performance aspect of it. The build lasted throughout the whole day with no damage (outside of the rubber soles, but I was expecting more than the small amount that began peeling) The perfectionism mindset I've been fighting with for years wasn't an issue because all the things I spent time getting just right are actionable design decisions like scale and material choices, not just "welp, I don't look like what I had in mind wearing this because I'm a real human and not a stylized 2d character."

Sonic re-ignited my love for cosplay and gave me a whole new style of costume I want to keep exploring and working on. Obviously planning to take Sonic out to other conventions if I can troubleshoot how to fit him into a suitcase.

Sunday!

Wurmple was my official first foray into fursuit making proper. I wanted to make a suit for years and finally committed, but I wasn't super interested in making an OC/fursona at the time so I picked a Pokémon I liked that looked interesting to make (I really wanted to sew the grub butt). I made him all the way back last August; he's the first costume from the "fuck wigs and makeup" era. I wanted to go for a bug-catcher summer look, complete with a little bug "cage" and a net. (I was genuinely worried someone might get full size nets a bad rap at the con with the gnome meme currently going on, so I just went with a tiny shrimp net instead.)

The Good:

The head is actually really breathable. Partialing plays a major part in the overall comfort, but the breathing hole is positioned in such a way a neck fan blows straight into it. The only sweaty area is the contact spot between my back and the tail.

It's easy to bring to the con, like the other costumes. Just stuff the parts in a small bag and go.

The dang thing is basically indestructible, so there's no worries navigating crowds or squishing the tail to sit down or whatever.

The Bad:

The vision is terrible. I absolutely need to hang onto a handler or remove the head if I'm doing anything more than standing around and talking. It's so narrow it messes up with my depth perception. The curse of trying to engineer vision out of a weird character design...

I can't really sit down on a chair with this tail unless I shove it to the side or remove it entirely, which is cumbersome since I thread the tail belt to my shorts for extra stability.

The tail is kind of dumptrucky enough that it got caught in the crowd more often than Sonic's whole costume did overall. Probably because Sonic is so massive he commands respect of personal space and Wurmple's bugass is very subtle in some angles, but it's enough of a concern to point out.

Verdict:

People got a good laugh out of Wurmple and more attention than I've gotten for costumes on average in the last couple years, so that was fun. No breakage either, but I expected these results since I've worn it outside a few times now. It was also by far the least sweaty costume of the weekend, being "regularly" comfortable despite the heat wave (in part thanks to the smaller Sunday crowd.) But the vision really dampens the experience enough that I'd rather keep it for furmeets or other less active events than a full-on convention. Enough workarounds to still be worth bringing around, but I'd love making another Pokésuit that doesn't have this glaring vision issue to rep the series!

Closing

Overall, if you ignore the massive crowds in a tiny space and the debilitating heat wave, Otakuthon went super well! It didn't stand out much event-wise to the other years (though getting to meet Shota Nakama and seeing the Distant Worlds performance were two standouts experiences), but the personal end of it, cosplay-wise, was a huge success. The people I got to interact with were all wonderful, and I got to figure out a new costume niche I want to explore more (hint: less wigs, more mascots). I'd say it was one of my favorite cons to date for cosplaying. I'm writing this as the costumes are drying, and my last observation is that save for the fursuit heads and Sonic's shoes, these costumes can survive the washing machine (something I always try to account for) and I'm so very thankful for that. Washing the heads by hand was a wholeass workout in in itself though, but thankfully Sonic's eyes are waterproof and the electronics are remove-able so I can deep clean him for the next event! On the menu for future events: repair Sonic's shoes, implement a on/off switch in Sonic's fan systems, and start planning out a new Pokémon fursuit. Hope this might've shed some light on the kind of post-mortem observations I note down after wearing new cosplays to a con! Thank you for reading.

#Convention Log #Cosplay #Fursuit #Robed Man #Sonic #Wurmple #Original Content #Text #Sorry fandom tags I need to throw these in for my blog's tag sorting system

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queenburd · 1 year

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Let's see if tumblr will let me send this long of an ask

So, the Narrator is going into the worst iterations of the parable. And, because of his biases, it’s easy for him to assume that the bad situations are all being caused by that parable’s narrator. But in my opinion, it’s always been give-and-take between them. It has been made clear that both the Narrator and Stanley bear responsibility for their relationship. It makes me a little sad that Stanley always seems to be the "victim" in these scenarios.

General note: absolutely no shade to anyone who enjoys exploring this dynamic. This is just about my own personal preferences. I'm always interested in exploring how that balance gets shifted. Like, how can a Stanley flex their own power over their narrator to get what they want?

(If we wanted to take this idea to its extreme, what about a Stanley who torments their narrator?

For an easy example, we've all seen fic where Stanley uses the zending as a way to punish the narrator. Why not the skip button? We know that the parable is able to “patch up” a narrator after the events of the skip button ending. How often can it do that? How many times in a row?

Imagine a Stanley who is so tired of hearing their narrator’s stupid voice, they skip until the voice is broken, hollow. It recites only the essential lines, afraid that anything more will bring on another skip ending.)

Like I said, though, I like things a bit more grey.

Imagine a Stanley (Stanley-B, or “Bea”). Bea saw the credits - their narrator (Narrator-B, or "Barrator") did too, through their memory - but Bea doesn't believe it's real. He thinks it's just another one of its lies, when Barrator claims that it has nothing to do with the museum. When it claims that the credits are real, that both of them really are just a fiction, Bea refuses to fall for it.

The voice is forced to have the realization that its worst fears are correct, alone.

And then the game resets and the knowledge is gone. But for Barrator, that sense of dread, of something being terribly, terribly wrong, remains. It doesn't have the same feedback that the Narrator had with Stan, that allowed him to remember things. It spends a lot of time trying to figure out where the feeling is coming from. It hasn't felt anything like this since the skip button ending and that’s… troubling. But it’s groping around blindly in the dark for something that is no longer there. Barrator doesn't even know to look for the information in Bea’s head anymore.

Its frustration with Bea persists as well, but so does the feeling of wanting, needing them to both be on the same side.

It already tried being mean. It already went apeshit. It wants to try being nice.

It’s trying to be nice and Bea is making this so much harder than it needs to be! And yes, maybe Barrator *did* lie to him, and gaslight him, and demean him! Of course he doesn't trust the voice that’s done all these horrible things! But this is important! Why? …Barrator doesn’t know.

Without a good reason, Bea doesn’t care. Bea is so stubborn and so spiteful, that nothing gets through. He's still just trying to escape. But one thing that Barrator does believe, with its limited knowledge, is that escape is impossible. After all, how could they escape if neither of them is actually real?

(I'm sure there’s more things: ups and downs and nuances that can be figured out later, but anyway.)

Then this new narrator shows up saying that what Barrator has been telling them is untrue. It has been lying (as far as Bea is concerned). There is a way out. And Bea wants to escape at all costs.

you're not at all incorrect: the relationship is a two way street. there are a LOT of Stanleys who WERE more vindictive-- Lee went out of his way to cause trouble, Stanford was antagonistic. There was definitely a BIAS, from the Narrator, affecting his judgement, as well as an ingrained power imbalance. (How many endings are about Stanley dying? How many Parables has he ended up in where a narrator is a bad person? And he already has issues with his own perception of himself.)

this is good. this is really good, and important. it adds more color and depth to just how the Narrator, for all he is well intentioned and doing a GOOD THING, is still flawed and capable of hurting someone without meaning to. Because this iteration doesn't deserve to be abandoned, not like THIS. But because he's more inclined to believe and be on the side of a Stanley (and he gave up on reasoning with narrators a while ago), it doesn't even occur to him that maybe he's not the only party at fault.

taps lip. I feel like these folks could be really important in Reset The Actors on Stage. a big key theme that's coming up so far is that, while a lot of these narrators WERE awful, a lot of them just didn't see Stanley as a person. They were SO in the mindset that they created this world and were above their stanleys that they cant perceive more.

so when forced to address the concept that they aren't anything more than a part of the creation, not the creator, and that they have always been trapped in this battle of two ("Why don't I get a choice?" - Confusion ending); how is a person supposed to react to that?

Maybe, for this narrator, who didn't really feel any joy out of hurting this fellow but was hurt itself, who knew something was wrong but couldn't ever place it--Maybe this finally lets those memories slide back into place.

on a side note: I have to be honest, a lot of the reason this stuff was made in the first place, a KEY reason for its existence, is because of the fact there are a NUMBER of fics Ive found at one point where the narrator... uuuuugh. There's actual character growth in the fic, there's Stanley choosing to try to move them forward so they can change and grow, and then the Narrator goes against Stanley's wishes (doesnt even TELL HIM) and completely sets the game to zero. no memory of any of it for either of them.

like, I get it, the end is never the end, and "maybe this time things will be different", but I genuinely am so tired and upset at the end of those fics, because I read this thing, got emotionally invested, and got no payoff.

thats WHY Repeat and Write This Story exists at all. the narrator that lives in my head was getting LIVID at these stories where Stanley's choices are utterly dismissed. He wanted to DO something about it.

it just..... it got bigger than I expected.

#repeat and write this story #reset the actors on stage #the sparrow parable #Parable Actors

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sapphirebones-ao3 · 10 months

Text

warning buzz

read on ao3

Rating: Explicit

Chapter 1/2

Summary:

"Can I kiss you?"

She raises an eyebrow at him, "You didn't ask when we were in the hospital."

"Well– That-That was different, this is different." He brings his hand up to scratch the back of his neck, averting his eyes for just a second before bringing them back. "Sorry- I just-"

"Yes."

He blinks and his eyes widen, "Yeah?"

Scully tilts her head to the side and brings a hand to his cheek, careful not to bump into his injured arm. "Yes, Mulder. You can kiss me."

“So Scully, any New Year's resolutions?" Mulder looks down at her in the elevator, the new millennium just welcomed with a kiss. Scully presses the button to the parking garage and crosses her arms, "A few," she says, and stares back up at him "how about you?"

"C'mon Scully, don't leave me hanging!" he makes a show of waving his cast around as much as possible and wiggles his eyebrows at her, she cracks a smile but makes no move to speak. "Fine, guess I'll go first," he pouts, "my first New Year's resolution is to buy you a drink!" he winks at her as the elevator doors open and skips out, dangling the car keys in his good hand.

"Mulder, you can't drink on painkillers!" Scully calls after him, "And I'm driving, you've had enough excitement for one night." she runs up to the car door and snatches the keys from Mulder's hand, shooing him off to the passenger side and getting into the driver's seat.

“So why my birthday? Not going by dog years anymore?” she quips, glancing at him and putting the keys in the ignition.

��I’ve decided I need to come back to the human realm, Scully, dogs and zombies just aren’t as compelling to me anymore.” he shudders, thinking about the zombies he’d fought off just a couple hours prior.

“Wow, it’s a New Year’s miracle, Fox Mulder admitting he doesn’t find zombies interesting.” Scully chuckles, her fingers drumming on the steering wheel as the car pulls out of the garage.

“You can have that admission only if you give me one of yours! You still haven’t told me your resolution, Agent Scully.” he pokes at her shoulder over the console and turns himself towards her, listening with rapt attention.

Scully sighs and drives in silence for a couple of seconds, and Mulder can almost hear the gears turning in her brain before she speaks “I want to be more open this year, and before you say anything regarding aliens–” she flicks her eyes to him and half-heartedly glares, “–I mean emotionally.” her lips purse in thought before she continues. “I haven’t let myself experience much lately, I want to be more honest about what I feel.” He sees her clench the steering wheel tighter for a moment before turning to look at him, “Does that make sense?”

“Scully, you’re the most honest person I know. I think if you got any more honest they’d finally arrest me.” he says, quirking a smile at her. “In all seriousness, I think I understand what you mean, it’s hard for me too sometimes.” He briefly squeezes her elbow and leans back into his seat, thinking about just how much he wants to tell her. The new millennium may not have ended the world, but it’s definitely eroded his patience, will he wait for the next one to finally tell her how he feels? The kiss felt like a good start, but she might just chalk it up to a New Year’s tradition, and he doesn’t know if he’d be able to survive another seven years for the next.

Despite Mulder’s mind racing the whole way there, the two of them do fall into a comfortable silence, occasionally humming along to the radio as Scully drives them to his apartment.

---

Some cheesy romcom plays on the TV set in front of them, her head on his shoulder as they both nurse a beer, Scully having finally given in to his pleas to have a drink and celebrate the new year. After a while, she feels him shift above her and feels him staring. Tilting her head up to meet his gaze she sighs, "What is it, Mulder?" he’s looking at her with an unreadable expression, something twinkling there in the dim light of his living room.

"Can I kiss you?"

She slowly raises an eyebrow at him and brings the beer to her lips, "You didn't ask when we were in the hospital."

"Well– That– That was different. This is different." He brings his hand up to scratch the back of his neck, averting his eyes while she sets the beer down before bringing them back to her. "Sorry- I just-"

"Yes."

He blinks and his eyes widen, "Yeah?"

Scully tilts her head to the side and brings a hand to his cheek, careful not to bump into his injured arm. "Yes, Mulder. You can kiss me."

And so he does, he tilts his own head down and brings his lips to hers in a small, chaste, kiss. Almost reminiscent of the one they shared in the hospital lobby, except this time he pulls back and watches her face, as her eyes open slowly and her thumb strokes his stubble.

"Can I kiss you again?" he whispers, and she chuckles and leans into him once more.

This time, she opens her mouth to his and they explore each other slowly. Mulder runs his tongue along Scully's teeth, her lips pillowy around his, he brushes against her own tongue and it ignites something within her. She brings her other hand to his face and smashes herself into the kiss, her tongue running along his palate, then pulling back and along his plush lower lip. He sits in a daze, mouth open, as she nips at his stubble and along his jaw and then returns to his mouth, she finds his tongue and sucks. A groan makes its way out of his throat and send a bolt of arousal down, down, down.

"Scu– Scully..." He says, barely catching his breath as he pulls back and raises his hand to the one on his cheek. They look at each other, eyes half lidded and mouths wet. "I appreciate the enthusiasm but I uh- That- That uh-"

"Too much?" She drops the hand that Mulder isn't holding and looks up at him, smiling with her gums on display.

"No– I just–" he smiles and squeezes her hand, bringing it down to the couch, palm up, so he can hold it. "I want you, Scully."

He goes to lean in again but freezes, as if just now realizing the implications. Gripping Scully's hand tighter, he snaps his eyes up to hers as he stutters "I– I don't want to make you uncomfortable."

Scully sighs and brings her other hand on top of theirs. "You remember what I said in the car?" He nods, listening. "I said I wanted to be more honest, and that means being honest even when it scares me. You scare me, Mulder."

His face twists into a frown and he sighs, pulling his hand away, "You could've said no. I wouldn't have pushed."

She doesn't let his hand get far before grasping it tightly in between her own and looking up at him, her eyebrows furrowed in concentration. "Listen to me, Mulder. You're not listening."

She brings his hand up to her lips and places a kiss on his knuckles, "What I mean is, I'm scared if I let myself hope, then it'll all go to hell. I'm scared you'll find some other piece of the truth and go out to chase it, only this time you won't come back." She looks up at him again and he sees tears prick at the corners of her eyes.

"I couldn't live with that. I couldn't live with having you like this–" She gestures between them "–just to have you taken away from me again. I wouldn't survive it." Her head drops down to her chest and she breathes shakily.

Mulder pulls her close and kisses the top of her head, his lips resting in the soft strands, he cradles her against his chest with his one good arm, “Scully…” he breathes, “I hope you know that I would never leave you, not on purpose.” he strokes her back and feels the rise and fall of her chest against his own, their breaths and the soft murmur of the TV the only sounds in the room. “I’m scared too, if that’s any consolation.” he whispers, “The amount of times you’ve had something happen because of me…” his words trail off as he speaks them into her hair, and she lifts her head up and plants a soft kiss to his cheek.

“None of that was your fault, Mulder. I chose to stay with the X-files, to stay with you.” she plants her hands on his shoulders and moves into his lap, bringing herself almost eye-level with him. “I want to try this, Mulder. I don’t want to run away anymore.”

“Scully I– Are you sure? Me?” his eyes are wide and searching, roaming over her face to try to find any trace of uncertainty, “You could have anyone you want, anything– God, Scully, you deserve so much.” He sees a twinge of anger flash in Scully’s eyes and her gaze hardens, her hands come up to cup his jaw and she runs her fingers through the hair at his temples, it feels possessive, as if she’s making sure he won’t run away.

“Mulder, we’ve had so much taken from us, don’t we both deserve this?” her thumbs lightly scrape through his five-o’-clock shadow, her eyes following the sound, “What if what I want– Who I want, is you?” she whispers.

He closes his eyes and chuckles lightly, breathing through his nose, “Scully? Are we sure there are no bees around this time?”

The only noise in the apartment now is the bubbling of the fish tank, the movie having ended long ago, the soft glow of the TV illuminating their faces on the couch.

“Not that I can hear.” Scully whispers.

“Then, Scully, can I kiss you again? Or I guess, again– again?”

“Please.”

#sorry about the formatting! still figuring out how/if to post these on tumblr #let me know what you think! second chapter coming soon (hopefully)#txf #the x files #msr #mulder x scully #fox mulder #dana scully #txf fic #the x files fic #txf fanfic #sapphirebones fic #<- thats gonna be the fic tag!#x files #xfiles #xfiles fanfic

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mlobsters · 1 year

Text

supernatural s9e1 i think i'm gonna like it here (w. jeremy carver)

can only use it sparingly but i do love a good shot gone slowly tilted to show things being Off (twilight new moon had a good one, when edward dumped bella in the woods). i think when it hits the right spot for me, it gives me that emotional physical vertigo

when i was watching s2e13 houses of the holy, instead of dumping my brain output here i was to a person and said this

nic 03/29/2023 10:41 AM his reaction to sam saying he does pray, it was like the world shifted beneath his feet and i felt tilted along with it and why does this show keep doing this to me

s2e13 houses of the holy (w. sera gamble, d. kim manners)

and going back to watch this scene even before he says it, i feel a little unbalanced because of this weird perspective they're shooting. sam's up even taller than usual on the steps, we're looking way down at dean and way up at sam. and then up at them from way down at the ground level. anyway, as the seasons have progressed, they seem to generally be a little less creative in filming, but this sam's in a coma dream or whatever had a moment

(stalling. i was not in a great mindset last night and seeing sam in the hospital bed i couldn't deal and skipped watching for the night so)

suspension of disbelief shattered and i wanna yell NO fuck you we're not bringing religion into this conversation as the medical professional. i know it's like oh but the implications and layers of meaning for dean to hear this right now but i'm just like 🔪🔪🔪 i've been there with a fairly rapidly dying of cancer parent in the hospital. just. no.

DEAN You're a doctor. You're a medical professional. You're trying to tell me that my brother's life is in God's hands? What, is that supposed to be a – a comfort? DOCTOR Mr. Dougherty – DEAN No, God has nothing to do with this equation at all. DOCTOR I didn't mean – DEAN That's not good enough.

lol well for somewhat related and somewhat not related reasons, dean and i are on the same page apparently

DEAN Cas, are you there? Sammy's hurt. He's hurt, uh – he's hurt pretty bad. And, um... I know you think that I'm pissed at you, okay? But I don't care that the angels fell. So whatever you did or didn't do, it doesn't matter, okay? We'll work it out. Please, man, I need you here. DEAN Screw it. Okay, listen up. This one goes out to any angel with their ears on. This is Dean Winchester... And I need your help.

think i know sorta where this is going. i did avoid more plot specific fics around this time period so i don't know much.

also contemplating when the angels fell did they all go into vessels? with consent?

HAEL Then you've heard them – our brothers and sisters, many still circling for vessels, most just… so afraid.

thanks for clarifying, show

dean in line to get murdered by grumpy angels because he was so desperate he put out an open call and cas is gonna go roadtripping with the pretty angel lady to the grand canyon. priorities!

this ezekial dude saying still believes the mission, cas and dean. what's the mission, what could anyone even believe in castiel for at this point?

oh what a surprise, pretty angel lady possibly has ulterior motives!

we're all just trusting randos left and right

DEAN You know what's in that house! Now, I can't help you if you ain't willing to fight for yourself! SAM I know. It's okay. It's what I want.

again with the suicidal moments. i felt extremely guilty and responsible for the person i lost to suicide, a friend told me something that i've since tried to accept. that i couldn't want that person to live more than they did. we're just hitting all sorts of buttons tonight.

saw julian richings in the credits, completely didn't expect death to show up as sam's reaper. and the cabin with the fire and everything got me all choked up.

DEAN From the inside. So, what, you gonna open him up? What, possession? You want to possess Sam? EZEKIEL I told you. DEAN No way. EZEKIEL Understood. It's your call. DEAN No, it's Sam's call. There's no way in hell he'd say yes to being possessed by anything. EZEKIEL He would rather die. EZEKIEL I'll leave you two alone, then. EZEKIEL heads for the door. DEAN Wait.

i at least appreciate that they acknowledged that it's sam's call. but it wouldn't be supernatural if one of the brothers didn't do something extremely ill advised to save/keep the other

(reminds me of another awful thing at the end of s4 magicians where julia needed a decision made about her body but was comatose and they let her boyfriend from another timeline choose. and it wasn't what she would have chosen)

SAM If I go with you... can you promise that this time it will be final? That if I'm dead, I stay dead. Nobody can reverse it, nobody can deal it away... and nobody else can get hurt because of me. DEATH I can promise that.

more weight on the scale for dean to feel like he has no other choice. why is sam in such a hurry to die? isn't that usually dean's job. i don't like it.

DEAN Even if I said yes, it doesn't mean squat. Sam will never say yes – not to you. EZEKIEL But he would say yes to you.

why does that sound like the beginning of something bad

DEAN Sam, listen to me. I made you a promise in that church. You and me, come whatever. Well, hell, if this ain't whatever... But you got to let me in, man. You got to let me help. There ain't no me if there ain't no you.

dean, that's not a good argument. true it may be, that's a lot to put on sam. rereading the church thing, i'm not sure how it was a promise. more a statement of fact. always sam first, we'll figure out the rest like always

from s8e23 sacrifice SAM What happens when you've decided I can't be trusted again? I mean, who are you gonna turn to next time instead of me? Another angel, another -- another vampire? Do you have any idea what it feels like to watch your brother just – DEAN Hold on, hold on! You seriously think that? Because none of it -- none of it -- is true. Listen, man, I know we've had our disagreements, okay? Hell, I know I've said some junk that set you back on your heels. But, Sammy...come on. I killed Benny to save you. I'm willing to let this bastard and all the sons of bitches that killed mom walk because of you. Don't you dare think that there is anything, past or present, that I would put in front of you! It has never been like that, ever! I need you to see that. I'm begging you.

all right so was that even dean saying that, then? i can't be taking schmoopy quotes out of context if it was just an angel saying crap that sam wanted to hear to get a yes lol

oh jesus fucking christ. so we're gonna lie/hide that dean tricked him into saying yes to an angel. how long is this gonna play out 😩

DEAN Then we keep it a secret for now. Or until Sam's well enough that he doesn't need an angelic pacemaker or I find a way to tell him. I - I… As for him being in a hospital, I'll have to figure something out.

EZEKIEL IN SAM’S BODY I can erase it all, if you like. He will not remember any of this.

for fuck's sake. sure! wipe his memory! make it inevitably a million times worse when he finds out!! not like he has a history of shit fucking up his brain or anything! stupid fucking manufactured conflict plot bullshit. I DON'T LIKE IT.

cut straight to castiel stripping down in the laundromat and candy with a design department that clearly had some fun creating fake labels

i'm always glad to see that fucking trench coat out of commission :p

DEAN Oh, I mean, I stopped, you know, let a few Japanese tourists take some pictures. Nobody got too handsy. I knew you'd pull through. I meant what I said at the church. You're capable of anything, Sam, and hell if you didn't prove me right. SAM Good. 'Cause we got work to do.

feeling guilty yet, dean? looks like it. after you stabbed jewel staite you were binge drinking and falling apart because of the lying to sam part. sure this'll be smooth sailing though

#supernatural #spnwatch #spn 9x01 #spn 2x13 #spn 8x23 #sam and dean mush

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thefanficmonster · 2 years

Note

I wouldn’t be mad if you went down the Hannix fic route! Maybe some headcanons please?? 🥺

THE WAY YOU MADE MY DAY OMG! Hannix headcanons headed your way, enjoy 💕

Hannix's first date

Pairing: Natasha 'Phoenix' Trace x Jake 'Hangman' Seresin [Top Gun: Maverick]

Warnings: None :)

Genre: Fluff, Romance

Several pilots lift a curious eyebrow or give a concerned frown as they scope the interior of The Hard Deck and fail to pinpoint the presence of two particular pilots

Phoenix and Hangman

The two rarely skip out on a night of letting loose and throwing back a beer but not much further thought is given to their absence

After all, it's been a day of brutal training with an even more brutal weather that's certain to kick anyone in the teeth and send them to bed early no matter how much of a party animal they are

Logical explanation, is it not?

No one can blame the aviators for resorting to that conclusion because it does in fact make a lot more sense than the actuality would

And what that is, you might be wondering?

Well, let me tell you:

The outlandish reality of the situation no pilot present could've guessed is that Hangman and Phoenix, two individuals who appear to be massive thorns in each other's sides, are out having dinner together

Not a casual dinner, no, no, no.

If you don't believe me, then you better believe their outfit choices

More specifically Jake's perfectly ironed white button-up shirt and Nat's sundress

Yeah, not Hangman and Phoenix, but Jake and Natasha

No callsigns on this table tonight

Need I give any more hints as to what kind of dinner it is?

On second though, I won't

I'll let events tell themselves:

During the dinner, Natasha could barely recognize the person sitting opposite her

Hell, she even found herself put-off by the lack of Jake's trademark douchiness and condescending remarks

It was a nice change of pace and a solid glimpse into his true self when he wasn't hauling ass to keep up appearances at base

He could say the same thing though

He was surprised by the warmth Nat radiated and how honestly she smiled at him, her eyes glinting with the reflected glow of the above-head fairy lights

They're 100% themselves tonight and it just goes to show that some aspects of their personalities come in conjunction with the title 'Lieutenant' and their callsigns

When at base, they're Navy-coded, halfway playing a part

And even if their roles contradict to the point of crossing into enemy territory, they still ended up drawn to one another

Luckily so, otherwise neither of them would've had the chance to discover the other's extended spectrum of colors and personality

"Gotta say, you really know how to surprise a lady, Bagman."

Looks like that false callsign stuck though

His lips widen into a grin every time he hears it - a grand improvement from when it felt like a fly buzzing by his ear

"I'm not an empty promises kind of guy. Thought you'd know that by now."

There's that cockiness she could feel herself starting to miss

Which is surprising because that very aspect of his character is what had her promising herself she'd give Hangman and whatever it is they could be only one chance

Only one

One date and if it were to fall through, she wouldn't waste her time any further

But looking down at their intertwined fingers as they walk down the beach, barefoot in the sand after leaving the restaurant, she feels like she could've made the biggest mistake had she not given him this one chance

"And yet you still leave a lot to the imagination."

"Huh-?"

Hangman barely has time to even be confused properly when Phoenix frees her hand from his while the other drops her heels in the sand so she can bring him down by the collar of his shirt and kiss him

Something he most definitely wouldn't have initiated himself, not on the first date anyhow

He wants to take things slow with her because unlike many of his previous relationships, he's actually willing to give his all to make this work

And that's exactly what he's going to do

However, just because he didn't want to rush things does not mean he didn't want to kiss her

He was dying to, had been the entire night

Which is why he kissed her back without a second to spare

A moment under the moonlight straight out of a romance movie

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aftersamu · 3 years

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– LOVED YOU FIRST PARING: tōru oikawa x gn!reader GENRE: childhood friends, low key unrequited love, fluff.

left alone to wait by the front door for them to come, to knock on the door and apologise for being an hour late. having looked at your phone every minute, hoping for a call that will tell you they're right outside.

but you got nothing.

coming to terms with the humiliating fact that you've been stood up, and that you've gotten all dressed up for nothing – with all those nights planning what you'd wear were for nothing.

unsure of what to do, you call him. waiting for the other line to pick up and hear his chirpy voice that almost always has a ridiculous prince charming smile behind it .

"oh?" oikawa hums, voice sounding from the speaker, "i wasn't expecting a call from you this early in the night." he teases, "i thought you were going on some big fancy date tonight."

"yeah, well, there was a last minute change of pans." you shrug off,

"and you decided to call me, how sweet." he says, "i don't blame you, i'm a blast. hey look! don't move, don't do anything, stay where you are – i'm coming over alright?"

oikawa hangs up before you can say anything, and of course, you tried calling him back – over and over again – only to get the call declined on the other side.

you waited ten minutes when a knock on the door sounded, fairly unamused you opened it expecting the brunette... you just weren't expecting him to stand on the other side holding a single red rose or dressed up.

"you were expecting to go on a date tonight, right?" he questions, "and luckily for you! you upgraded."

bringing a hand up to your face, you couldn't help but laugh. oikawa can be a lot to handle at times, but he always finds a way to make you feel better. even if it means skipping out on a few buttons on his shirt and stealing a rose from someone's garden.

he somehow always goes to extra lengths, and you're no exception to that.

"now, i don't have any fancy dinner reservations but the staff at the diner a few streets down love me." he explains, "i'm sure they can make space for us."

"aren't we a bit over dressed?" you ask, unable to hide the silly grin on your face.

"what? no," he waves off, "i go out like this all time. i wear this to go grocery shopping, besides there's nothing wrong with being the best dressed."

"okay, let me just get my things."

his gesture said everything he couldn't.

oikawa wasn't going to ask you the basic question, but he would like an answer to one. why would anyone stand you up?

he would never do anything like that to you, hell, he jumped at the chance to properly take you out – despite you not knowing that.

sure, oikawa has his faults in relationships, one being that they never last, and lord knows he's never been the best boyfriend a person could have.

however, that doesn't apply to you. he's grown up with you, you guys have been together since childhood. through all those fights and arguments that could have easily been the end, they never were.

you never left him, and he's never shut you out.

you're the first person he goes to when something good, or bad, happens in his life.

you're the first person he calls when he needs help.

you're the first person he drags along whenever he finds a new restaurant, or cafe, or cool movie showing in theatres.

and well, he's the person you bring to places when you're scared to go alone. he's the one who knows how to make you feel better.

he's the first person you decided to call after getting stood up.

"okay, i'm ready!" you say, closing your door and joining his side. looking at him, noticing he's lost in thought, "tōru! you're zoning out on me!"

snapping out of his daze, he returns to his same old charming self. "i don't understand why you bothered to say yes to them," he mutters, "i'm clearly the obvious choice here."

although hidden behind his regular charm and flirt, oikawa was being nothing other than truthful. he's always going to be the one who has loved you first, and nothing will ever change that.

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thekatebridgerton · 2 years

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I honestly don’t understand the Bridgerton fandom. Like why all the hate on other ships to make their ship seem better. Like we’re all getting our ships and seasons. There’s shouldn’t be ship wars or anything! It’s all so stupid. Like yes I have my favorite ship of course but it doesn’t mean I hate the other ones or I don’t want to see it. I’ll be there supporting and watching them even if my favorites aren’t on screen.

Anon I also don't understand. But maybe that's because I value my mental health and I've got a block button that I'm not afraid to use.

I left highschool years ago, I know bullying when I see it and revisiting the catty he said she said isn't my cup of tea. Hence, the block button.

Maybe when I was a teenager I used to engage in that behavior but then I took a step back as I grew older and realized that fighting with people online isn't fun and usually doesn't benefit anybody.

Universal advice guys, just don't interact with mutuals who are obviously taking out their personal life frustrations on strangers online. Put your mental health first and give the mean people in the fandom a wide berth. I'm not saying avoid them. But maybe just wait a while until they have worked trough their frustrations in the future. Unless specifically requested, you are not here to be any person's venting partner or their emotional punching bag.

Those of you who need to vent and feel frustrated about a ship or a character, add a Venting warning to your posts and use the read more button. put it in the tags. tell people you need to get something off your chest and if they're in a fragile mental state, they should skip your post.

We all want to have a safe fandom experience and we are all trying to contribute to keeping it safe for others too.

I know there's a ship war because of how things have been going in the background with the main couples, but it's not like the fans opinion matters to producers as much as their money does. Want to make a difference for your ship? buy their official merch, put supportive comments towards the ship / characters on the posts from the actors, and their official social media accounts, give views to any interview that mentions them. But don't attack other ships and their shippers because honestly that just devalues the product and doesn't make any difference in the end.

but maybe that's just me. I see enough negativity in the world to think about ever bringing it here. I come here to get away from the real world and enjoy the ships and characters I like, with people who like them too. That's all my fandom experience is about. And if I'm going to voice a negative opinion, I try to be responsible about it.

Again, fandom culture can be toxic but only because a minority of people make it that way. If that's not you and that's not me, then were off to a good start drinking a different sort of tea. trying to keep our fandom experience as safe and mentally healthy as possible.

but maybe that's just my opinion.

#fandom is a safe place #ship wars

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lazzledazzler · 3 years

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Lazzle's Rune Factory 5 Review

Alright so here are my thoughts and experiences with RF5! This is a big boy so buckle in earthmates...

Obviously this review will contain spoilers, read at your own risk.

Initial thoughts upon playing...

Great opening! I enjoyed the jazz music~ I did feel like it leaned a bit more towards the male player though. It definitely feels like a rune factory game. It's familiar, and controls are easy to get accustomed to for the most part. The mold is there and rf5 doesn't stray too far from its predecessors which is comforting for veterans. That being said, I'm not going to pull any punches and will critique this game harshly. Keep in mind as updates for the game are released not all things discussed in this review will be as relevant overtime!

Let's hear some thoughts on...

The story/plot. The plot is enjoyable overall. I'm not crazy about the whole Seed organization thing but it was a neat idea. They address the Sechs Territory and it is confirmed that the game takes place some decades after RF4. But by the end of it, I didn't feel like I really accomplished anything because it felt like I barely did anything really. Also they left a lot of stuff unanswered. I'm not even sure I understood the message they were sending, if they were trying to send a message at all. The main story is too short, and it doesn't involve enough of the townsfolk. You're basically doing everything yourself in secret the whole time and the townsfolk barely know what's actually going on. Out of the love interests, Lucas plays the largest part in the story, followed by Priscilla and Scarlett. The story feels targeted at male audiences--at least that's how I felt. You, the player, have a larger role in the game, much like in RF3 and I was glad to see this. As of right now there are only two arcs. Praying for DLC 3rd arc...!

Protagonists. The latest protagonists to join the crew of Earthmates are...decent. Their designs are nothing special unfortunately, though I appreciate Alice's more than Ares's. Appearance-wise they lack personality and creativity. Personality wise I am pleasantly surprised with how sociable they are. They're not exactly quick witted and sassy like Lest/Frey were in rf4, or as endearing as Micah in rf3, but they have a certain realness to them that makes their reactions to things believable. I'm certain Xseed will see to making them a bit more sarcastic in their localizing efforts, so let's all look forward to that. Overall though, while I appreciate their mannerisms, they don't really measure up to all the previous amnesiacs we've grown to love over the decades.

Characters. Overall I enjoy all the characters introduced in Rune Factory 5! I feel like there is someone for everyone in this game on some level. The voice acting was pretty good for every character. The designs are very much Rune factory. Like OG runefa, compared to rf4 ( 4 kind of strayed from their usual style) which I like. Characters still have their own signature quirks that you find endearing. Although I would have liked to see more variety? Like we've had mermaids, univir, half monsters, vampires, etc in previous titles but rf5 only gives us the usual (half) elf, dwarf, and then a succubus (physically she doesn't have unique features aside from the ears and heart eyes), and some were-people. I was hoping for something more unique to really give that classic runefa vibe.

Dungeons/Battles. I'm pretty split on this one. On the one hand, the dungeons have more depth due to the 3D aspects. They've included more contraptions that are very fun to see even if they aren't executed that well. So I'm grateful for that. On the other hand, the dungeons are insanely short imo. It doesn't take long at all to get to the boss. The puzzles are also pretty subpar and few compared to RF4. Fighting monsters is similar to the other games. You can lock on now but I only use it when I'm trying to use my Seed Circle. The lock on feature is actually counter-intuitive and makes it harder to dodge. Weapon mechanics have shifted a bit. There’s a feature that makes you invincible to damage if you time the R button dash correctly. Axes and Hammers are significantly slower than in older games? Like. I thought I was in slow motion it was so slow. Lances are also harder to use as well? I'm questioning my sanity here. I don't know if it's a bug or intentional either.

Farming. Not much has changed from previous games mechanics wise. They added new types of special crops which is neat. The camera view changes to overhead when you go near your fields though, and it can make you dizzy/uncomfortable. It actually makes it a bit difficult to see at times so I wish there was a way to adjust the angle. If you are tilling corn or dried weeds to improve the soil, you need to place them separately if you don't want to use the entire stack. Otherwise, it will till the entire stack on the land if you place them all down at once. The flower shop is unlocked late in the story. Weird thing to do considering you need flowers to make medicine. Not to mention the fact that you wont have access to the fertilizer that increases defense against typhoons? During typhoon season? Thinking emoji...

The town. I have to say Rigbarth's design is poor compared to Sharance, Selphia, etc. It's too big and it takes too long to get around. Everything is too spaced out and there aren't enough warp points to make it easier on players. I don't want to walk an entire mile up a hill to talk to one person and then walk all the way down to the beach to speak to another. It doesn’t really feel like a ‘town’.

OST/BGM. Music was good, though nothing really stood out to me where I'd go "damn this slaps" or something. I think they might've had some old soundtracks from rf2 or something because it felt really nostalgic at times.

We need an exterminator. (Bugs Bugs Bugs)

Marvelous, I don't know how to tell you this buuut...your customers are NOT your testers. When you release a game, you need to make sure it's not littered with glitches because customers don't enjoy dealing with them and will drop the game!

Here are some of the types of glitches I encountered:

Crashing. Game would randomly crash or freeze and close at any moment. Sooooo frustrating! Sometimes you get lucky with the autosave feature, but the autosave only activates every morning at 6am in your room and then when you warp to a dungeon level/floor. So when you're in the middle of your daily tasks in town and it crashes, you have to start all over. Marveloussss no one enjoys losing their progress in a game I promise you that much.

Lag. The dialogue bar is seriously slow, especially after loading your file. Crafting/Cooking screen lags. When you press the Y button to skip through dialogue it lags like hell. Pretty much after every time you load the game will lag, the audio will lag if you're in a battle, everything is just. so. slow.

Repeating dialogue. So if you close your game entirely (or if it crashes) naturally you'll reload your file to continue where you left off. There's a bug that will cause all NPCs to repeat the last dialogue that occurred from whatever plot related thing you did last. So for example, if the last thing you did in the story was unlock Ludmilla, everyone in town will naturally have some dialogue about her. But even after seeing all this dialogue and even saving, if the game is closed and reloaded you'll have to read all that dialogue again from townsfolk. It got really annoying after a while.

Monster taming. One time I tamed a monster but once I named it and hit 'ok' the monster never showed up in my barns? Just. gone. Okaaaay then...? Additionally, I expanded one of my monster barns but all of the monsters I tamed wouldn't appear in the added room. You get 4 monsters for each room but the monsters I tamed would show up in the original room. Meaning I had like 7 monsters in one room! I tried to bring them into the newly added room but they would just warp back to the other room. Sad.

Pond Glitch. I fished in the pond located in Sasayaki Forest and left the fish I caught but didn't want laying around the water's edge. If you leave fish around the pond's edge and go to sleep, the next morning you will be teleported to the pond and trigger the fairy dialogue as if you had thrown all of the fish into the pond??? So the dialogue of her telling you she wants 'X item, not this!' will trigger over and over for all of the fish you left at the water's edge. RIP.

Party member Bug. I had Martin in my party and I made him leave. Then when I went into my monster barns to get a monster pal to join me instead it showed me Martin's portrait???? Also I've encountered a bug where I can no longer ask anyone to join my party for some unknown reason. The R &L button prompt was just gone when I reloaded.

Errors. When cooking or crafting, the dialogue box shows up sometimes...

Typos. Random average typo here and there. Not a real biggie but there is one instance where the heroine will use the japanese male pronoun "boku" instead of "watashi" which really convinced me that this game was completely intended for men lol.

Let's talk about Pros

The good stuff. The stuff that makes you all warm and fuzzy inside.

Plot Advancing. Now I'm gonna put this as a pro because I'm certain the average player will enjoy this even though I do not. There are now markers on the map to show you where to go to advance the plot. This is all well and dandy, but it also made the story less appealing for me because you don't need to go around town and speak to residents for clues or assistance to advance anything in the story.

3D Graphics The 3D models are all amazing. The interior designs of the houses/buildings are also incredibly detailed and realistic.

Collecting items. Now there's a feature that will allow you to collect items into your inventory just by walking over them. This is pretty neat and welcome for the most part. Once the item is sparkling, you can walk over it and it'll go into your rucksack automatically. This also makes lumbering and mining go much faster. Yay!

The miraculous L pocket. Now you can customize the categories that appear in your L pocket by going to the rucksack tab in the menu. This is a super neat feature that makes things easier on players who want to manage their items in a format that suits them.

Weapon/Tool Toggling. You can now toggle between your equipped weapon and tool by pressing the left or right buttons on the trackpad.

Collecting lumber/material stone. Oh lord this is probably the most welcome improvement moving forward from the previous game. You can now put all of the lumber and material stone from your inventory into its storage at once. This also applies to fodder for tamed monsters. Well done Hakama.

Autosave. This feature is a welcome addition to the series. The game will save your data every morning and every time you enter a dungeon. Autosave has really saved my ass a few times when I made a huge error in judgement so I'm incredibly grateful for this feature. And it doesn't save over your actual save file--there's a separate autosave file at the very top. So if you messed up something but already saved on your main file, you can still salvage your mistake by reloading the autosave! I just wish it activated a bit more often sometimes.

Warping. Now we can warp to each level in a dungeon as well as certain places on the map in town. It's pretty convenient for the most part.

Increased party members. Now you can have up to 3 members in your party! Hooray! Party members act more intelligently than in older games. Scarlett can use the Seed circle to assist you in fights. I think she also tosses healing potions at you occasionally. So far, no one has tossed a dish at me if I haven't eaten like Kiel and Clorica did in rf4. But I have been hit by a failed dish (from reinhardt?) and a healing potion (from scarlett). Scarlett, Priscilla, and Reinhardt are the most helpful when dungeon crawling in my experience. Some of them however, (looking at you Doug) don't shut the hell up with their one line of dialogue they have and repeat it constantly.

Seed Circle. This neat feature allows you to capture monsters. By charging it and releasing you can capture monsters for the bounty system or add them to your party temporarily. If you throw it without charging it, you can stun monsters in place momentarily or grab things from far away. When stunning monsters, it can also give you the monster's drop item occasionally. Unfortunately it uses a lot of RP so it can be difficult at times.

Combo attacks. This is a neat feature that I appreciate and use often for boss fights. They do some serious damage so it's good to save them for the bosses. The actual cutscenes aren't that impressive, and feel kind of subpar when you get down to it but I think it's a start in the right direction.

Farm Dragons. I'm listing this as a pro although I really just see it as a new feature. Farm dragons have fields on their backs that you can place monster barns on and farm on. Giving them certain crystals will give your fields boosts in certain criteria, like length of growth, soil quality, you get it. I personally don't use the crystals because I couldn't give a shit lmao I have men and women to woo here. But if you're into this kinda thing then it's a pro.

Storage. When opening your storage box, fridge, etc. you can actually hit the R & L buttons to switch between ALL of your other storages. Looooove thissss. Great addition. So much faster to put items away in their respective places.

Crafting/Forging. Now we can also use the R & L buttons to alternate between the different weapon types/accessory/gear types instead of having to exit the menu and going back in each time you want to make something different.

Cooking. More recipes have been added. Yay!

Days are longer now. More time to get shit doneeeee ayyyy

Fishing. They've added many more fish to the game! Now the player will shout something when you get a bite, making it easier for you to hit B at the right moment. Nice. Also if you fail or press B too early, the fish doesn't vanish most of the time. Also nice. There is now a feature to fish with another person's assistance. Once a day you can investigate the sign near the fishing station and someone might offer to lend you a hand. Press the B button at the right moments on the slider and you can get a rare fish that can't be caught normally.

Monsters. New types of monsters! Love the designs. Even the monsters that are the same but just have different skins are really neat. They look great in the 3D format too. You can even ride with up to two people on certain monsters! Some bosses had awesome designs while others...were bad.

New Types of Furniture. The carpenter store has a wide arrange of furniture you can buy for your home. It also has wallpapers and stuff which is really neat. Though unfortunately you can't even sit on some of the furniture so that's a shame.

Events. Now there is a system where events are triggered by approaching an icon on the map. This is probably an improvement to RF4's randomized system, though personally I found it annoying because it meant that I had to see the events before I could just enter a building normally. Sometimes I just wanted to get shit done and not have to read through walls of text for someone's love event when I just want to buy something.

Voiced Lines. The protagonist seems to have more voiced lines, as do other characters. Good!

Let's talk about Cons

Not including glitches. Oh boy. So many cons. Where do I start?

Dialogue. Probably the most notable con in the entire game. The dialogue is drastically minimal in comparison to previous games, especially rf4. There is probably a quarter of the amount of dialogue compared to rf4's insane amount of content if not less. Townsfolk repeat themselves. Often. Too often. Am I playing Harvest Moon? Originally I thought it was because the dialogue is randomized, but I think it's actually because more dialogue is unlocked as you raise townspeople's FP. Despite this, there's no linear build up where you start off as acquaintances and eventually become very close like in rf4 because of how sporadic the LP/FP is. Townsfolk don't even talk to each other. One of the greatest perks about runefa is the conversations townsfolk can have with one another. Residents randomly gathering in small groups to talk about anything. Previously you could add someone to your party and sometimes a dialogue will occur if you speak to the right person at the right time with that person in your party. This is nonexistent now. The only time they do this in rf5 is during the festivals. But, it will only trigger if you have unlocked all the characters in each marriageable lineup and they can't be in your party. The residents will talk about one another but that's pretty much it outside of town events. They got rid of all the minor dialogue that occurs too. Trying to sleep in someone's bed while they're right there? They wont comment. Inspecting objects in stores while the shopkeeper is present? Wont say anything. Take a character with you to a dungeon/boss fight? Their lips are sealed. Where's my sense of community? :(

FP/LP This ties into the dialogue issue. The rate at which LP/FP increases is sporadic as hell. You can go from 1FP/LP to 4FP/LP just by giving a gift sometimes. I wouldn't even speak to people and their affinity increased by like triple for no reason. Then it increases by like 2% for the longest time. Argh!!!

Graphics. I don't consider myself very picky when it comes to graphics. I don't really mind that the foliage and scenery are at the level of a ps2 game at best. I tried playing on my television initially, but the lag and camera operability was too much so I fully switched (haha puns) to handheld. One thing that sucked is that I literally cannot tell the difference between medicinal herbs, antidote grasses, and green grasses without the captions because the graphics are so indistinguishable. So when you're trying to pick up multiples of those items by holding the A button, you're just randomly walking over anything green in the hopes that you'll get the right ones...

Lack of Sound Effects. Something I noticed is they got rid of the sound effects that will play when you complete a puzzle or add someone to your party. When you try to brush a monster there's no sound for the '♪' they make when you successfully brush them. So it was hard for me to tell if I had actually brushed them or not. I was a bit saddened by the lack of cute sounds.

Too much free range. From the very beginning of the game, you're allowed to go pretty much wherever you want when leaving town. It was too easy to stumble into high enemy level territory without knowing, so when I was like level 5 so I got KO'd immediately.

Artwork. The portraits seem to be lower in quality somehow. Runefa has always had shitty portrait art imo but this time it's even worse. Many character's eyes looked fucked up. Though the 3D models are insanely good for mostly every character except Terry. Terry's 3D model looks Terryfying and I prefer his portrait.

Festivals. They've added some new festivals. Some I enjoy. Some not so much. They changed the format of the eating contest. It's horrible. Good luck with that one.

L pocket + R button? They got rid of the feature that lets you skip to the other end of your items when opening the L pocket by pressing R button. I really liked that feature because it made it faster to reach my items so I was bummed that they got rid of it.

Gotta go fast. Now when you speak to someone, it doesn't 'stop time' as you might say it did in previous games. So people are still moving about as you speak to someone, making it harder to catch up to people! Annoying!!!

Catch and release? Not in my farming simulator! Say goodbye to being able to toss a fish you caught back into the water. In fact, say goodbye to tossing anything you don't want anymore into the water. Now you just have an army of fish flopping on the ground around you. And with the auto pick up feature, they're probably going to end up in your inventory anyways once you try to move. There are still certain ponds with fairies that you can toss stuff into, but you'll have to deal with the fairy harping at you for giving her something she doesn't want.

Shop Hours. Oh god. The shop owners don't even open their stores at the correct hours? It says open at 9am. If you speak to them they won't open their store until like 9:07??? But Priscilla and Lucy will show up to work their part-time jobs at around 8:30am and you can buy stuff through them before 9am. So the actual shop owners (for the bread shop and general store) are pointless usually. Additionally, if the store is empty (but open) you can no longer add a shopkeeper into your party and then enter their store with them to buy things from them. Why. Just why. When you want to buy something that only a specific person sells (Only Hina sells fish, only Heinz sells misc items) you have to wait for them to finally decide to work in their own store. Wonderful.

Monster Item drops. Maybe I'm crazy but the monster drops are seriously a lot harder to get than in previous games. Especially boss drops. It's almost impossible to get the rare drops now. I don't even want to try anymore. And as far as I know, the only place to buy monster items is through Heinz, but his items are actually misc. items, not specifically monster drops. So you'll be lucky to check his store (whenever tf he decides to actually work) for any monster items you might want instead of farming for the drops. Sighs.

Difficulty. This game is too easy. There is little to no challenge whatsoever. I had to increase the difficulty setting to hard mode and it was still too easy. I beat it at level 139, never once did I need to grind or level. In fact, your character levels up way too quickly for the pace of the story. I had zero trouble with any of the bosses and even the final boss was a breeze. Quite sad. Though because I am not new to the franchise, it's likely that newcomers would have some trouble in the later parts of the story.

Fishing cons. Idk how you fck up fishing but they sure did. You have to stand further back now because the pole is so long that you'll miss the fish you're aiming for. In fact, it's seriously hard to aim period. You'll end up recasting more often than not. Fish come in the various sizes but they don't seem to have the darker or faded characteristics that can indicate whether it's a rare fish or not. The graphics make it hard to tell. The pros that i've already mentioned are welcomed but it doesn't negate the fact that I do not enjoy fishing like I did in previous games.

Mining/Lumbering Cons. You can no longer strike three times consecutively when mining/lumbering. This sucks lol. Even when you upgrade your axe or hammer, powering up the tool does nothing for getting wood and material stone--it only expands the area of your strike. So it takes longer to get wood/stone from stumps and rocks now since you have to strike the full 9 times but it's not too bad. It's also harder to aim now as well so that's also unfortunate.

Seasonal Fields? Kiss them goodbye! That's right, there are no seasonal fields in rf5 because devs are insane! You instead have the farm dragons that seem to look seasonal based on the fact that they are designed after elements like earth, water, and fire. But no, these dragons are simply extra fields for you to use. Here's a spoiler: you're not going to use those fields. You're just not. They're kinda useless unless you're obsessed with farming. Now you have to grow your crops out of season like the sad farmer that you are.

Farming cons. Seeds no longer tell you how long it takes to grow the crop. Why. As of June 29th, they fixed this with an update. But I still had to play the whole game without it so fuck you marvelous. The joystick is really sensitive? So when you're trying to use a fertilizer or something on your field you're likely to place it on the wrong 4x4 tile, wasting your fertilizer. So it’s best to hold down the R button when farming. Also the crops look uglie as hell.

Sleeping and warping cutscenes. Just like in rf4 there's a cutscene when you go to sleep that can be skipped easily by pressing A. In rf5, there's a cutscene to sleep and a cutscene when waking up. It takes a bit more than a second to skip these scenes so it gets annoying after a while. Warping is this new feature that replaces our beloved escape spell. Overall I appreciate the feature but I hate it for two reasons. One: there's an annoying ass cutscene for it each time you use it that could be much shorter. And Two: townsfolk now use warp even when inside the town. In previous games, someone exiting your party in town would just manually run to wherever they need to be. So you could easily chase after them if you need to talk to them or give them something. Now, party members use warp regardless of where you are at the time. So say you have someone at 7 hearts and you want to try confessing to them. You would have them join your party, save your game, and then have them leave your party and immediately speak to them and confess before they can run off. If it doesn't work you reload until it does. In RF5 this wouldn't work anymore because they will warp. Now you would have to save, run around town trying to find this person and hope they accept the confession. Otherwise you'll have to play hide and seek again because reloading your file will randomize the resident's locations (if they are not working in a shop)!!!! I often just waited until a festival day because then they will be at the plaza for most of the day and it has a warp point there.

Crafting/Forging/Cooking. They've removed the feature where you can press Y on the ingredients in the menu to add more of that particular item. I miss this feature :'(

Lacks incentive. There is no trophy room from my knowledge. The final dungeon that is meant to be like the sharance maze/rune prana isn't that hard to beat for skilled players and is only 20 floors. After you beat the main story and this dungeon there's not much else to do really.

Request Board. Unlike in rf4, you need to make sure you have accepted requests before you complete them or else it will not count. Previously, you could complete all sorts of tasks and Eliza would still recognize your work even if you accept their request after the fact. ie, shipping goods, harvesting crops, etc. So make sure you don't harvest your special crops before accepting the request it's for!

Return of the "Loli" Dragons... Yeah you read that right. We got more dragons in children's(???) bodies with skimpy clothes. I don't know anymore????¿¿¿

Can't marry the Milfs or Dilfs. Tragic.

Still no homo. Grow up Marvelous.

Reverse Proposal? Reverse Uno card-- Laid low by the patriarchy. You now have to buy the double bed and craft an engagement ring to propose to your man if you're playing as Alice. Marvelous this isn't what we meant when we said we wanted equal rightsssssss This can be seen as a pro if you're a softhearted babey who doesn't like rejecting bachelors' proposals because you feel bad :'( But this is a con for me because I don't want to spend money and materials on a double bed dammit!!!

Misc. Still can't stack dishes or fish. There's no green elemental fairy???All the other elemental ones are there except the green one? why??? Still can't tame the giant Wooly. Some bosses that have insanely awesome designs cannot be tamed and makes me wanna eat glass.

Let's talk about Love~

Relationships. We want them. And half of us only play these games for them. I've only played as the female heroine so far but I'll be updating this review as soon as I finish with the bachelorettes as the male hero.

Confessions

As usual, we must raise the love points of our beloved to 7 hearts before we can attempt to date them. However unlike in rf4, if you fail at a confession once, you will need to raise the LP up an entire level before you can try again with any chance of success. It's imperative you save before attempting a confession now.

Love Events

Each love interest has two love events that must be seen before you can date them. They're reminiscent of older game's style but I felt they could have been a biiiit more interactive or so? Or involved the town a bit more for some of them.

Dating

Once you get your honey to be your bf/gf, you get to choose the nicknames as usual. Then you can go on dates. The first three (non-festival) dates are actually events. You need to see all three events to get married.

Marriage Event

The final event you need to clear before you can marry your sweetie. In my honest opinion, so far for the boys, these events were rather disappointing. They lacked the drama and angst that sort of 'test' the love between the two when compared to rf4. Also this is a huge con for me personally and a minor spoiler but there are no special cutscenes at the end of the marriage event like in rf4. Instead, the cutscene takes place during your actual wedding. I was saddened by this because it took away the depth from the marriage events and the actual character? As it is just a cut and paste type of thing instead of an original cutscene for each person. They lack individualism this way. Also it kinda felt like a way for devs to avoid gay relationships and cut corners :^/....sus.

First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes...

Children!!!!!! This is actually one of the coolest additions in the game. Just like in rf3, you can have up to 3 children again! Your first child will resemble you, and you will have the option to choose its gender as well as its personality. There are 6 different children, (3 boys and 3 girls), all with different hairstyles, mannerisms, and seiyuus. Your answers will determine which child you get. A year after your first child is born, you will get the option to have a second child. You'll end up with twins, both resembling your partner. You won't get to choose the genders (it will be a boy and girl) but you will get to choose the personalities once more. The children all have canon names too and each kid is incredibly cute. And of course, you're still able to take your kid with you in your party~ ...Though you can only take one kid with you at a time.

So is RF5 good?

Yeah it's a fun game! My theory is that Marvelous forced the devs to release the game earlier than they were ready for, and that's why it's so lacking. But that doesn't mean it's not worth playing! I'd rate it 3.5/5 stars hehe. Not nearly as good as RF4 (full stop 5/5), or RF3 (4/5) but enjoyable nonetheless. I wouldn't recommend it as a first game to play from the series for newcomers though, I feel it's best for vets who can overlook all the cons thanks to loyalty and nostalgia. By the time it’s released in the West, the bugs should all be dealt with too.

So! Definitely buy this game! We want the series to continue and we want RF6 to be better than this--and hopefully Marvelous will make sure of that next time. If you're not a picky person I think you'll enjoy rf5 a lot. If you're like me and have high standards then, well, still pick it up and let it run its course. Then dust off rf4sp and cleanse your gaming palette >;^)

#rune factory 5 #rf5 spoilers #rune factory #rf5 #spoilers #review #rune factory 5 spoilers

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mochiusagifanficchaos · 3 years

Text

Sherlock x Mute!Reader •Part 5•

It's been three weeks now since the incident with the shooter at the London Eye, you just got out of the hospital and your boss finally allowed you to work at the cafe again, after hours of begging and doing puppy eyes.

Sherlock and Watson kept visiting you at the hospital and while your shift at the cafe and Watson updated you about the case as good as he could since the shooter turned out to be one of the Clown guys.

Lestrade had questioned him and found traces from the blacklight color on his hands, the color you and Sherlock prepared the register with before it got robbed.

But you didn't know much more about the case because Sherlock kept close about it, Watson told you that he would always do that but it still annoyed you.

And since you took the case very personally you decided to threaten Sherlock until he told you everything he knew.

He sat on his usual table again, reading the newspapers and Watson sitting in front of him, studying the menu, but you already knew that he would order, just the same as every time.

You took his order with a smile and turned around again without even looking at Sherlock, showing him the cold shoulder, which irritated Watson but he didn't say anything.

With a sweet smile on your lips, you placed a plate with spaghetti in front of Watson a few minutes later, without Sherlock's usual unordered tea in your hand.

Watson looked at you startled because of your behavior towards Sherlock, but the detective himself seemed to stay unimpressed about it, which made you even more annoyed.

After a few days of totally ignoring Sherlock and getting no reaction at all from him, you decided to use a different method.

You didn't know how and if Sherlock would react to it at all but it was worth a try.

The next morning you came to the cafe in a short skirt and a white, slightly see-through blouse.

You wore, not so high, high heels and your hair was tied into a ponytail.

The rest was just the usual routine, ignoring Sherlock and being extra nice to Watson and other customers.

At first, you got disappointed again because he still didn't seem to react to your play at all but then you actually got a glimpse of him staring at you when he thought you weren't looking.

You cheered at yourself inside 'Never underestimate the weapons of a woman!'

What you didn't notice this day were all the eyes on you from the other customers, some basically undressing you with their staring.

------------time skip to after work-----------

The cold air crawled under your thin jacket as you locked the door from the cafe.

It got pretty late this time since you needed to wash away so many dishes because the winding machine wasn't working at the moment.

Shivering you led the key slide into your pocket and crossed your arms, hugging yourself to keep your body warm while you walked down the street.

Suddenly you heard footsteps behind you, they sounded heavy and came closer.

Scared you took a random street and walked faster, but you could still hear them.

You took another and another random street until you ended up on a dead-end road.

Afraid you slowly turned around.

A tall man in a long coat walked straight towards you with fast steps. He got closer and closer and with every step he did, you stepped one back.

Until you hit the wall with your back.

"Why are you ignoring me?", the man suddenly asked and you immediately recognized his voice.

You could see his face now, he looked down at you with an empty expression but you could swear that there was a glim of sadness in his eyes.

"You shouldn't be walking around like this. It's dangerous in the night and at the café, everyone was staring at you.", Sherlock said as he took off his coat and laid it around your shoulders, closing the buttons.

You blushed deeply and your feelings were driving a roller coaster of being angry at him, loving him, being annoyed of him, and thinking of him as the sweetest man you ever met.

"So why are you ignoring me? Did I do something wrong or do you just want my attention?"

Secretly it was also because you wanted the attention but you would never admit that.

Now at this moment, you wished that you had learned sign language.

Back then you thought that no one would understand it anyway so why learn it but now it could have really helped you to talk to Sherlock.

With an annoyed expression, you pointed at him and then at yourself, forming the word 'case' with your mouth.

Then you pointed at Sherlock again, did a hand motion as if you would close your mouth like a zipper, and laid your hands over your ears, looking around like you wouldn't hear anything.

"Because I didn't tell you about my researches about the case?", Sherlock asked to know if he got that right and you nodded, still angry.

He sighed: "So that's all? That's why I didn't get my beloved tea from you anymore for a week?"

Huffing you crossed your arms in front of your chest.

But he couldn't hide a smile, you looked just too adorable in his coat which completely covered your frame.

Sherlock was silent for a moment, thinking about something before he answered softly: "I'm sorry (y/n)."

You were surprised by the tone of his voice since you have never heard him talk to anyone like this before.

"Let's go home and I'll tell you everything I know. But only if you make me tea."

You huffed amused and nodded as a response.

Sherlock had his arm around your shoulders the entire time as he walked you home to his apartment.

Watson wasn't there, he was with Marry, so you could sit on his chair, holding a hot cup of tea and wearing a pajama from Sherlock, enjoying the warmth of the fire in the fireplace as Sherlock told you about his researches.

It was one of the best evenings you ever had, you felt protected and just happy.

"I missed your tea.", Sherlock suddenly said as he noticed you drifting off to sleep.

You smiled at him before your tired eyelids closed again.

You felt how he lifted you up from the chair, bringing you to his bed.

He laid you down and covered you with the blanket, whispering a goodnight before you fell asleep.

You woke up in the middle of the night, panting and shivering.

It was this nightmare again, the nightmare about the clown guys.

They hunted you in your dreams and this time they even shoot at you.

Warm tears ran down your cheeks as you hugged your knees to your chest and buried your face in your hands, whimpering silently.

You looked around to calm yourself down and remembered that you were in Sherlock's bedroom.

Carefully you felt as if someone was laying beside you but the bed was empty.

Of course. Sherlock wouldn't sleep next to you.

But you so much wished he would. Especially now you craved a hug from him or just a touch to make you feel better.

Silently you stood up and walked on your tiptoes into the living room to see if Sherlock was there.

And he was, sitting on his armchair and staring into the fire.

He looked up as you slowly walked over to him.

"Nightmare?", he asked and looked at you concerned, probably having noticed your wet cheeks.

You just nodded and looked down, your fingers playing with the hem of the too big pajama shirt from Sherlock which you were wearing.

"Come here.", he said and gestured you to sit on his lap.

Hesitantly you walked over to him and sat down on his legs.

With a quick movement, he lifted your legs up and placed them on the armrest so that you were sitting bridal style on top of him.

You rested your head on his chest as you tried to cover the dark red blush on your face.

Did this really just happen?

His heartbeat, the way he stroked with his hand over your back and the warmth of the fire calmed you down and it didn't take you long to drift off into sleep again.

Watson walked in very early and found you and Sherlock, well, cuddling. You were still sitting on his lap, sleeping calmly and Sherlock's head rested on yours, his arms protectively around you.

Watson couldn't believe the sight and quickly took a picture of you two before sneaking down the stairs again to get Mrs. Hudson.

She needed to see this.

Mrs. Hudson giggled like a schoolgirl as she saw you both and Sherlock flinched, waking up from his nap.

"Have I missed something important?", Watson mockingly asked as Sherlock lifted his head and looked tardily at the two chuckling persons in front of him.

Fun fact: I keep forgetting that the reader is mute and let her talk in nearly every chapter until I notice it and then I have to somehow put the words into actions or else. 😂

This chapter is pretty story irrelevant but I thought some fluff between all this action and danger would be good :')

My Wattpad: @/lilakudo

Tag list ❤️ @misselsbells06 @fictionalhoomanofnowhere

#fanfiction #x reader #reader insert #bbc sherlock #sherlock #sherlock fandom #sherlock fanfic #sherlock x reader #sherlock x y/n #sherlockxmutereader

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adhd-adept · 3 years

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I have self diagnosed adhd and i was wondering if you could provide some advice regarding reading. I used to be able to just pick up a book and read when i was younger, but now that I'm older it's a bit difficult to just pick up a book and read for the sake of reading. I love reading, but i just can't seem to motivate myself to.

Any advice? I'd really love to get back into reading, but I'm trying to find a way to do it easier

Hello! I’m sorry this took me so long to answer, I’ve been mostly off Tumblr for a little while. I saw this some time ago at 3AM and thought “this deserves a more coherent response than I can give right now” and then forgot that this blog existed for several days.

That said, I absolutely have some advice for reading! I was a big reader as a kid, too, and I’ve recently had to re-discover reading after a long gap in any time spent sitting down with an honest-to-goodness book. There are a number of things you might consider!

DISTRACTIONS

First and foremost, recognize the reason it is difficult to read! For me, it is because reading isn’t the most interesting thing available. That doesn’t mean I don’t love reading! If I can manage to sit down and read a book, it is immensely satisfying - but it’s the satisfaction of the effort you put into something paying off. My favorite hobbies - drawing, writing, reading - are my favorite because of that sense of accomplishment that they give me.

I love the feeling of holding a book and watching my bookmark move through the pages each time I set it down. However, it doesn’t give me the same instant gratification of reading wikipedia, or tvtropes, or scrolling Tumblr, or checking notifications on social media; even when I am unsatisfied, or even frustrated, with the internet, it can be very hard to put down. I know that people will tell you all the time “You need to put your phone down more!!” It gets old. But they have a point. What people don’t tell you is how to do that.

For me, that tends to be about making it inconvenient for myself to get online, or do whatever is distracting me. This doesn’t necessarily mean making it completely unavailable. The distraction just needs to be less available than the task I want to do. I am the kind of person who gets online out of muscle memory, and then gets stuck there. Thus, many of my tricks rely on disrupting the muscle memory that lets you pick up distractions. I will put my laptop charger in another room, so that my screen time is limited to its battery life. I might tie a string around my laptop, or tape it closed, so when I go to open it I will be reminded “Oh yeah, I don’t want to do this right now.” I will occasionally rearrange the apps on my phone, so when I try to open Instagram and end up with the weather app instead, the thought of “wait, how did i get here” will snap me out of the thoughtless habits that led me to pick up my phone in the first place. I’ve even gone so far as to tape my phone to the ceiling. Whatever works.

If the weather permits, I might also walk a little ways down the block and find somewhere to sit and read. This can come with its own distractions, but it gets me away from my laptop, and I get a tiny bit more exercise and sunshine than I would have otherwise! This depends, of course, on whether you have transportation and whether you feel safe. But getting yourself out of the house can be a great way to get away from the things that would otherwise draw you away from reading. If you have a local cafe or library that permits you to sit and stay, those are also great options! I will bring my phone when I leave the house, but I might put it at the bottom of my bag, or put a bit of scotch tape over the power button, so that I have my phone in case of emergency but it’s just slightly inconvenient to get to without thinking about it.

It may not be the internet distracting you. But whatever the distraction is, it doesn’t need to be less compelling than reading. It just needs to be less readily available than your book is!

ENTHUSIASM

Another thing that prevents me from reading is that it often doesn’t have the same sense of urgency that other tasks might, whether that urgency is real or not. Give yourself a time limit! I may own books I haven’t read yet, but I will get to a book sooner if I have borrowed it from the library, because I know there is a deadline to return it!

You can also get other people involved. If you have a friend who wants to read the same book, commit to a chapter or two a week and then call to discuss it.

Or, if you have a friend who would be interested, and you are comfortable with your reading voice, you could read to someone! It might feel weird to offer, but you’d be surprised how many people really do enjoy being read to. If you both have time in your schedules, you could try to set up a regular call to get through a few chapters at a time.

Generally, having a friend who likes the book is great for maintaining enthusiasm, even if they’re not reading it with you - I get to books faster if someone with similar taste says “This is one of my favorites! You would love it!” If you have a friend who has read the book you plan on reading, announce to them that you intend on reading it. Their enthusiasm might help you feel more compelled to read it, and there’s a good chance that if you don’t sit down and read it, they will remind you by asking “Have you read it yet? What do you think?” the next time you talk to them.

PREPARATION

Another great way to make reading easier is to set up a reading space beforehand. It’s one thing to pick up a book and say “I’ve been meaning to read this.” It’s another thing to put on some pajama pants, make a cup of tea, and curl a soft blanket around your shoulders before you settle down to read. For one thing, it’s just nice. But more importantly, it can function as a signal that tells your brain “it is Reading Time now. We are in the Reading Zone.”

Do you ever watch a TV show or listen to a podcast, and you let the theme song play on the first episode, and then skip it for the rest? Even if I’ve watched a show before, I will play the theme song on the first episode I watch that day. It’s the same principle - it serves as a transition, an intro that says “this is where I am now, and this is what I’m doing.” Give yourself an intro for reading! Have a certain spot that you like to sit when you read. Have a certain snack you eat beforehand.

I have all kinds of tasks with little “rituals” before them that help me focus on that task, or certain items that I interact with which I associate with it. I call them “declarations of intent,” and once I’ve made a declaration it’s easier to commit to it. Sometimes that means simply saying out loud, “I am going to do the laundry now.” Sometimes it means I wear a certain shirt if I’m planning to go for a walk that day, or drink from a certain mug at breakfast if I want to get some homework done. I have a specific hat that I put on when I want to write a certain character. Try to find something you can do to act as a cue that says “When I do this, then I will read a book.” Because of this, it can help to really lean into whatever the “aesthetic” of reading is, in your mind. Embrace a reading atmosphere!

It may also help to recognize that reading is something you can work your way up to! There is no shame in being out of practice with a hobby. I took my reading proficiency for granted for a long time because it was just a part of my life. It may help to think of reading as a skill! Start with something smaller and work your way up. Pick up a book of short stories or folktales before you tackle that six-book series you’ve heard good things about! Set achievable goals for yourself when you’re setting out. An early success can make a huge difference to morale, and it’s much better to start “too easy” and accomplish something than to jump in at the deep end and be frustrated by an early setback.

FORGIVENESS

On the topic of working your way up to things, I would like to say a word about mindset. It is easy to feel self-critical about things. Things that you think should come more easily to you. Things that you feel like you have no reason not to be able to do. One of the biggest things I’ve done for my ADHD is recognizing that there is always a reason why I behave a certain way. Accepting that allows me to actually address my struggles, rather than just feeling ashamed of them. I’ve had to accept that I won’t always do things that I set out to do the way I set out to do them.

I bring this up because not all of my advice here may work for you. In fact, some of it doesn’t work for me every time - a technique may work once, but I might fail to make a regular habit of it. I may make a regular habit of something, only to have it become less effective as the novelty of it, or my enthusiasm for it, wears off. I may eventually talk myself out of implementing an effective strategy because there is some part of it that I find unpleasant; or an intentional unpleasantness I once found motivating may eventually become intolerable.

That’s okay. I’m telling you now, it’s okay if that happens. It’s okay if the first method you try doesn’t work. Don’t set yourself up to feel frustrated. If you become frustrated, take a step back. If you borrow a library book and you still haven’t read it by the due date, just give it back. If you don’t actually enjoy the first book you pick up, put it down and try a different one. If you feel badly about not reading something your friend wants you to read, be honest and tell them you have a hard time sitting down, and that you don’t want to disappoint them if they keep asking, but that you will let them know once you have started it!

It can be easy to convince myself that feeling badly about something means it’s important to me, and that maybe if I feel bad about not doing something, it motivate me to do it. There is a balance between making commitments, and not committing to anything that is just going to distress me. Sometimes there is a benefit to a sense of pressure, but I have to recognize when the pressure I create turns into frustration. That’s a fine line to walk! For all I speak of inconveniencing yourself, or holding yourself accountable, your strategies should ultimately feel satisfying, and show results fairly quickly! You may not see immediate results, but if it has been several days and your strategy isn’t working out, change tactics! And the moment you feel apologetic or ashamed about the thing you are trying to do, drop that strategy. Again, this can be easier said than done, but it is so worthwhile to learn how to allow yourself to “give up” on things that aren’t actually helping you, without feeling like you’re giving up entirely.

You want to get back into reading again because you want to enjoy reading again. If you set it up to feel like homework, or a chore, or an obligation, you may make it more difficult for yourself! Getting back into reading is about focusing on what you love about reading.

And hey, I’m always happy to help! I do only check Tumblr every couple weeks right now, but I’ll do what I can to be supportive. If you’ve tried these suggestions and they don’t work out, no worries! Everyone is different, and it’s no insult to me if things that work for me don’t work for you. But feel free to reach out again, let me know anything you have learned about how you function best in the meantime, and we can reevaluate your strategies!

I hope that helps! Happy reading!

#thanks for asking!!#nezjazz #let me know how this works out #a lot of the advice i have for reading is advice i have for Doing Tasks With ADHD in general to be honest #i use the same tricks i use to get myself to read sometimes to get myself to do things like wash dishes #it's about making yourself more interested in what you want yourself to do #and making it easier to do the important things relative to the ease of doing the less important things #i will just straight up delete apps off my phone if i spend too much time on them #most of the time i dont miss them #and tumblr i can access from my laptop it's just slightly more steps to actually log in and type in my password #(i ONLY use tumblr on incognito mode so it doesnt save my login and i have to actually enter my password every time)#(that way i know that if i actually take the steps to log on it's because i WANT to)#(because something about doing that is worth it to me)#(i did that today to come and answer this question lol)#(but that's also why it's taken me so long.)#(do let me know if you have any other questions! i'll be back eventually to help as best i can!)#(and i love feedback)#(if you discover something that works better for yourself let me know that too so i can share with everyone!)

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buckyswheezes · 3 years

Text

Perfectly Fine (Pt. 4)

Premise: “You know why I don’t like you? It’s because you’re a natural. You’re naturally kind, naturally good-looking; you can wear trash bags and still look perfectly fine. You’re naturally intelligent and excellent in everything you do. It’s like you naturally get what you want, you don’t have to work hard for it. You don’t have to pretend because people naturally like you.”

Or Bucky found out that the new oh-so-perfect Junior Accountant of Stark Industries isn’t as perfect as everyone thinks.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

Bucky climbed out of his car; he just came back to the office from an early morning meeting that took forever to end. He glanced at his watch as he took quick and giant steps towards the elevator- it's ten minutes past 12 in the afternoon. Bucky fervently hopes you haven't had your lunch yet.

The elevator door part with a ding and he immediately went straight to your workstation; his eyes narrowed at the Maximoff siblings, especially at Pietro. Bucky knew that the man had been hitting on you.

"Oh, hey Bucky!" Wanda called out.

You turned and saw him approaching.

"Do you need something?" Wanda looked at him with a cheeky smile then added, "or someone?"

Pietro's face grimaced at Bucky's presence, but he couldn't care less. "Yeah, I'm here to get y/n." He answered Wanda's question, he saw the woman's eyes twinkle in amusement, then he turned to you. "You ready, doll?"

"Oh, uh yes. I'll see you guys later." You bid the siblings goodbye as you stood up, flashing them both a sweet smile. It faltered slightly when James gingerly placed his hand on your back. He wasn't this touchy before.

You both turned to leave, and as soon as you're out of the Maximoffs' earshot, he asked. "So, what were you guys talking about?"

"Well, Wanda was asking me if we're dating."

He frowned. "What did you tell her?"

"I told her to ask you." You replied dryly, still hyperaware of the hand on the middle of your back.

Bucky's face broke out in a grin. "Okay." He muttered, then abruptly turned around. "Hey, Wanda!" He bellowed across the floor, all eyes turned to him, but he didn't care one bit.

"Yes, we're dating!" He vividly, clearly, and loudly declared. Bucky saw how Pietro's face morphed into one whose stomach was hit by a professional boxer. At the same time, he grinned like a child who got the gift he wanted for Christmas. Bucky reached for your hand (catching you off-guard) then intertwined your fingers before bringing it up over your heads; as if to show proof that you two are indeed dating.

Finally, James brought both your arms down, only to surprise you even more, when he pulled you close to him. Your heart did a somersault. Him being all touchy-feely today unnerved you, and you didn't know why.

————

"So, is this one of your deep and dark secrets?" Bucky asked as you opened your 11th can of beer. It's almost one in the morning, and there were the two of you again -on Stark Tower's rooftop having your second date that day -the lunch being the first.

"Uh-uh."

Bucky shifted in his seat, eyebrows drawn together as he looked at you. "I still don't understand why you need to keep these things from people. It's normal, you know."

You snorted in response. "No, it's not when you're a young woman. People will think you're easy."

"Well, we both know that that's not true, that you're not like that. It's doesn't matter what other people think; what matters is what's true, doll."

It must've been the alcohol, but for once since this whole dating fiasco started, you let your guard down in front of him. You stood in front of him, ignoring the quizzical look on his face. Slowly, you undid the buttons of your blouse before taking it off. James' eyes went wide, but you went on and discarded the clothing on the floor.

The rooftop lights illuminated your torso. He opened his mouth to say something, but you beat him into speaking.

"Looks ugly, right?." You let your fingers feel the scars that decorated your stomach. "My father and I got into a car accident when I was 10; he was drunk, driving way over the speed limit. We hit something, didn't even know what it was then next thing I know my world was spinning."

Bucky remained silent, not knowing what to say. He just stared at her with concern and listened intently.

"Sometimes, what matters isn't the truth but what other people think. I mean, who'd be happy with a partner who drools and talks in their sleep or habitually skips shower?"

Bucky winced as you chugged down the beer in your hand. You were about to grab your 20th can when he stopped you. "That's enough, doll, you're drunk."

You chuckled and swatted his hand away. "You once said I swear like a sailor, well, news flash babe, I drink like one too." You heard him sigh as you pop open the can and take a swig. You sat beside him and reached for your blouse, putting it on again. "Ever since my mom left, I was 6 at that time. We'll run out of drinking water but never ever run out of beer."

When you finally closed all the buttons, you turned to him with a serious face. "You know why I don't like you?" You blurted, making Bucky frown. "It's because you're a natural."

"Natural?"

"Yes, a natural. You're naturally kind, naturally good-looking; you can wear trash bags and still look perfectly fine. You're naturally intelligent and excellent in everything you do. It's like you naturally get what you want. You don't have to work hard for it. You don't have to pretend because people naturally like you."

Bucky was too stunned at your revelation; though he badly wanted to say that there is something -someone- that he wants but can't easily have, his mouth refused to voice it out.

You glanced at your wristwatch; it's almost two in the morning. "It's late. We should go home." You downed the can of beer in your hand then cleaned up the place.

"I'll drive you home." Bucky offered, but you immediately refused.

"I drank 20 cans while you had 8, and I'm soberer than you, so, no. Let's just take an uber. And don't worry, I'll be good as new tomorrow, but I doubt that you will, so no driving for you tonight."

Bucky smirked. "Why, are you concerned?"

"Of course I am!" You exclaimed and smiled at him. "You're my boss; I can't afford to lose my job if something bad happens to you."

"Wow, doll, thanks for your concern." He replied dryly.

"What? You said you wanted to know the real me, then this is the real me, James. I'm a very selfish person. If you can't be of use to me, then I won't give a damn about you. That's how selfish and petty I am."

———

As you lay in bed that early morning, you can't help but think about what happened last night. Surely, James wouldn't want anything to do with starting today. Who wouldn't? You're full of pretenses, and if everyone sees past it, they surely won't be happy with it. And James was no exception. Hell, even your own mother left you.

Part 5

author's note: Thanks for reading, babes. Lemme know if you wanna be tagged. :))

Taglist: @crowleyqueenofhell

#bucky barnes #bucky #bucky fanfic #bucky x you #bucky x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x reader #au bucky barnes

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