#i really think Cole was a theater kid too

[veilder]

Yoooooo! It's been a hot minute since I posted a new prompt, but here's something I've been thinking about for a few days now? Consider:

AU where Cole was born much earlier, back before Hank's career really kicked off. He follows his ol' dad into the police force, joining the DPD the summer of 2035. However, that same year, a freak ice storm takes the city. Hank had been planning to visit Cole in his first apartment, promising him that "the roads aren't that bad, don't worry about it." The next call Cole receives is from Detroit Regional Hospital, asking for a next of kin. Cole rushes there himself, heedless of the horrible state of the roads, to find his father in surgery, a medical android operating. Anxiously, he waits through the night, fidgeting in the uncomfortable plastic chairs outside the operating theater.

He receives the news the next morning. Hank had suffered some serious injuries including multiple concussions, and had fallen into a coma during the surgeries. He's told there's no way to know when or if he might wake. The sight of the medical android leaving the theater with the same placid expression on its face as off of the things haunts him long after that night.

For three long years, he's consoled with platitudes of "it might be any day now." For three long years, he visits his father regularly, hoping to spark some change in the man. For three long years, he throws himself into his work, hoping to forget that this was all his fault. That Hank had been out because of him. That he was laid up in a sterile room for years because of him.

And almost three years later, his hard work pays off. His promotion to detective coincides with a surge in deviancy cases. And Cole Anderson, professional workaholic, newly-instated rookie, who's father's big shoes he will fill or die trying, has a proposition for the captain:

"Assign me this case," he demands.

"This is high profile, rookie. The sergeant will handle it," Fowler replies.

"Sir, the sergeant hates androids. I can work with it. Perhaps even mediate."

"Seem to recall you not being a fan either, Anderson."

And Cole grits his teeth, flashbacks of an android in bloody scrubs running through his mind. But he says, "I'm not, sir. But I need…" And here he hesitates, looking away from Fowler's piercing gaze. "… I need something… substantial… at this time of year…"

And the office is quiet for a few seconds more before he hears Fowler sigh. And Cole knows he's won this. "Alright, Anderson. Alright. I'll add you to the case. But Reed takes lead, you hear me? No going off on your own, kid."

Smartly, Cole salutes, knowing when to let sleeping dogs lie. "Thank you, Captain. You won't regret it."

"But Reed might," he hears the man mutter as he closes the door behind him.

Cole smirks, returning to his desk and the case files he'd been finishing up. Deviancy, he thinks. Perhaps this is the missing link. The key to proving androids can't be trusted in sensitive situations. That his father's condition was a result of malpractice, not routine. That they, too, shoulder some of the blame.

Two days later, Cole meets Connor. And that is when he knows his theory is right.

Or! The one where Hank is out of commission and an adult Cole Anderson is assigned to the deviancy case alongside Connor and Gavin. Through peril and hardship, the three must learn to work together to solve the greatest mystery Detroit has ever known, or risk letting the menace known as deviancy roam free. And meanwhile, tempers flare, worldviews shift, and all three learn there's perhaps more to life than just being human.

[thesinglesjukebox]

BEN PLATT - "ANDREW"

"Andrew! Andrew! Andrew! You're gonna love meeeeeeeeee..."

[6.36]

Jeffrey Brister: Platt’s an incredibly talented vocalist, there’s no doubt there, and a good performance can do a lot to elevate average material -- like, say, a pleasant but unremarkable folky song about being sad and gay. His delicate falsetto dancing over top of the guitar, how the chorus blooms with yearning in a name, staying away from theatre kid pyrotechnics -- it’s a laundry list of good choices, and I’m just bowled over by its simple and straightforward beauty and earnestness. [8]

Alfred Soto: Depending on my diet that day I can embrace this unmitigated schmaltz or vomit at the sight of it. Neither the falsetto nor the lyrics have heard of subtlety. I am past the age when unrequited lust wears the drag of lachrymosity, but I hope I'm not callous enough to understand when young adults need it. [6]

Hannah Jocelyn: A friend and I made a list of songs about unrequited queer love, specifically when it comes to incompatible orientations. This is Ben Platt’s entry in the canon, and it’s the best song I’ve heard from him, the first that doesn't sound like rejected tracks from either Dear Evan Hansen or Blue Neighborhood -- it starts off very Simon & Garfunkel, but the more ambient Sufjan Stevens territory on the chorus fits him shockingly well. One problem: the Melodyne detracts from how sincere and pure the writing is (isn't Dave Cobb known for his authenticity?), to the point where Platt sings "if I can't get closer then I am destroyed" and sounds like a Dalek. Normally that would be a dealbreaker, and maybe I would dismiss this if I hadn't, in fact, had an Andrew or five. Cobb's production is gentle and tender enough that I can just lie back and think of all the pretty girls. [7]

Isabel Cole: I do appreciate the concept of this aching little ditty about the specific wrenching futility of crushing on a straight guy, and the idea of “wasting heartbreak” on someone who would never even be able to grant you the dignity of being rejected for your actual self is poignant. I can imagine the teen for whom this hits at exactly the right time, and that’s not nothing. But the first-love adolescent yearning of the lyrics fits oddly with the meandering melody and the folky arrangement (it’s giving Harry Styles Presents VH1’s I Love The 60s), and Platt… listen, whatever you think of  Dear Evan Hansen, no one’s ever denied that the guy can sing. Here, it’s hard to shake the sense that he’s deliberately trying to differentiate his solo work from his Broadway past by avoiding sounding too musical theater, choosing instead to flatten his clear, resonant tone into a dull, nasal drone that feels like he’s playing Barefoot Guy With Guitar in a mockumentary about hippies. It doesn’t really work -- his falsetto sounds grating, and like a lot of stage singers trying to branch out, there’s a certain mannered quality he can’t quite shake -- and the few more vibrant lines towards the end make me wish I could hear a version of this aiming for the cheap seats. [4]

Ian Mathers: As someone who has disliked Ben Platt in everything I've seen or heard him in, I was absolutely prepared to reject this song from its Cat Stevens-ass opening, but then I kept listening and... I don't know, I keep thinking about that classic tumblr post that ends with "I am cringe, but I am free." I listened a few more times and... it's kind of lovely? Something about it reminds me of Gordon Lightfoot? I remember how much songs that seemed to speak to my particular romantic torments meant to me as a teen and I can absolutely imagine the kid who is going to play this on a loop like I did Sloan's "Deeper Than Beauty" or whatever? Don't make me regret this, Platt. [8]

Nortey Dowuona: The frustrating parts of this song have nothing to do with Ben Platt's voice. Whatever his faults in Dear Evan Hansen, Ben has a mellifluous tenor that comfortably floats in the higher parts of his range, allowing certain lines that feel clunky ("what a time-wastin', sweet happiness-takin', self-esteem, mess-making, heart-breakin' shame") to float past so pleasantly that when your own voice begins to sing them, they jumble together in your throat until they all flow out with the delivery of "Andrew." Producer Dave Cobb's helium guitar chords are also not the problem -- they lift Platt's voice and remain so close to it that when they lean back and let him take center stage, they allow Platt to send his melody up and catch it comfortably. The frustrating thing is the drums; they are so thin and yet so rigid that when they enter, the song loses the butterfly subtlety it needed to soar. Derrek Phillips, who has played with Vanessa Williams and Rahsaan Barber, somehow had to anchor the song in a way that would give it heft and keep its light, breezy charm, but instead he reinforces the dull structure of a second-verse drum groove, and all the hard work done by Platt and Alex Hope is squandered. A bolder choice by Platt or Cobb would've been to lean into the acoustic guitar arrangement by adding the bass and keyboards, and maybe the percussion (also done by Phillips) would act as the anchoring factor. Instead, the rigid structure kills probably the second-best thing Ben Platt has done. [7]

Jackie Powell: Ben Platt has had difficulty translating his vocal talents from film soundtrack music (the Pitch Perfect trilogy) and show tunes (The Book of Mormon and Dear Evan Hansen) into pop music. On songs like “Grow as We Go” and “Rain,” he sounded like slightly more adult versions of the characters he played. He’s leaned into motivational songs without any sort of foundation. “Andrew” works better than his previous pop offerings because of the story he paints of falling for a straight (or maybe not) friend who has led him on. A lot of these stories are coming out of the woodwork as of late with tracks such as Reneé Rapp’s “Pretty Girls” and Fletcher’s “Two Things Can Be True."  These stories need to be told and provide a certain type of respite for queer people who too have felt a similar level of pain. Platt calls the situation a “cruel joke” and self-deprecates in a witty but incredibly depressing bridge. He’s not questioning whether falling for “Andrew” wastes his time but rather declares the infatuation as a time vampire that robs more than it gives. What’s less than desired, however, is the Simon & Garfunkel cosplay he attempts in the verses. The Auto-Tune that helps layer his vocals isn’t needed. The folksiness in “Andrew” is a step in the right direction for Platt in his journey to translating better into pop. I just wish he could have paid homage to Simon & Garfunkel in a way that didn’t come across as just another Broadway character he’s playing.  [7]

Taylor Alatorre: I feel the exact same way listening to this as I do when reading the Urban Dictionary definition of any relatively common male first name. [3]

Katherine St. Asaph: What is it about guys named Andrew that inspires plaintive folk songs? Having no longings for any Andrews, I can only connect to these songs through my nostalgia, and thus Platt's is my favorite because it navigates those channels best -- which is to say it sounds exactly like Simon & Garfunkel. [6]

Mark Sinker: Not sure I remember a song where the jump from chest voice to head voice for the high notes feels so extremely foregrounded as a DECISION NOW BEING TAKEN. AND IT'S DONE! I can imagine arrangement where this works with the content: except here’s it’s like literally everything else about the song is funneling your attention to this choice instead, and I don’t think it’s what I’m meant to be thinking about? You have a nice voice mate, sorry your crush didn’t work out, that sucks.  [5]

Jacob Sujin Kuppermann: Every time I've tried to write this blurb it's come out too ironic -- couching my appreciation for it in my disbelief that Dear himself could make such a perfect rendering of the version of Sufjan Stevens' music that exists only in the minds of 2014 Tumblr users, things of that nature. But let me meet sincerity with sincerity and say that "Andrew" wrecks my shit completely every time I listen to it, every achingly beautiful guitar arpeggio and breathy note from Platt activating all of my sentimental impulses. Most of all I admire the commitment here -- there's never a moment of performance from Platt or his producers that shies away from the full teenage gay melodrama of the lyrics. Weaker souls would have tried to subvert the maudlin stuff here. I'm glad they didn't. [9]

[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox]

[weekend-whip]

OMG I love Jesse SO MUCH!!! He's just so relatable and awkward and *Chefs Kiss*! I know we got a lot of info on him recently but do you think you have a little more of him? Like some Headcanon? Or maybe how his opinion on everybody is or some opinions in general?

Thank you!! I put a lot of love into him snksnk

I thiiink I've done his opinion on everyone at least in passing in some point, but in short: he sees Antonia as his best friend, Harumi like a sister, he's a little cautious and disapproving of Kai, he would be great friends with Jay if they actually spent time together (and Jesse could keep up with his enthusiasm haha), respects Zane a lot but still gets a little annoyed sometimes rip, is constantly impressed by Nya and thinks she's way too cool to talk to him and...do I need to explain Cole? XD

As for headcanons (are they...really headcanons if I have the power to make them canon?) hmm, let's see... *spins big wheel of whimsy*

He has a moped, as it's the only thing he can drive successfully

He's not a good driver

He's a theater kid (something he's tried to grow out of since entering high school. Miranda can confirm this has not happened)

He can't draw...well.

Loves throwing surprise parties, but never has really had the opportunity to do so

Inversely would also love getting a surprise party (and it would surprise him since most people get his birthday wrong and thus miss it)

He likes and prefers dressing nicely even when he doesn't have to (but will make exceptions for comfy hoodies)

He really likes clothes shopping actually (just can't afford it)

Also got hooked on makeup during Miranda's "makeup phase"; he especially like doing eyeshadow

He's not an amazing chef or anything (not like his mother), but he does know a ton of recipes and takes pride in what he can manage

He likes teaching Cole how to cook

He and Jay visit West Haven in their downtime to make up for the visit to Cole's house; they warp into a live performance by The Fold (but don't tell Cole)

Is eventually the one that shows Harumi how to properly handle knives/short swords (purely for entertainment purposes. Yup.)

His weapon is eventually going to be a naginata that can shift form(s) via his Effect of Metal and I'm only bringing it up again now because I finally started prepping the design and hnnng I'm excited—

It has a naginata form, a wand form, a "twin ring" form, and a "casual" form which he wears as some kind of jewelry (either as bracelets or a choker, something/somewhere he can hide if needed but still have quick access to. Maybe earrings if he's feeling spicy).

ANYWAY ITS REALLY COOL I CANT WAIT TIL WE GET TO THAT

I love my boi thank you thank you

[rookie-critic]

House Party (2023, dir. Calmatic) - review by Rookie-Critic

It is arthouse film season. Any awards contenders/foreign language films that aren't already out over here in the States are going to come out in rapid succession over the next couple months so that the general public can see them before the awards shows are over. I love these movies, when they're good, they're incredible, but I get tired and brain fried watching these high concept, thinky films one after another after another sometimes. So, last Friday I went and saw House Party to unwind. Sometimes it's nice to just kick back, switch the thinker off, and enjoy the ride. Now, I will ashamedly admit that I have never seen the original, Reginald Hudlin, Kid 'n Play House Party from 1990, so I won't be able to draw many comparisons between the two films. From what I've read in other reviews, this new one wasn't able to capture the same heart or sense of fun that the original had. I can see where they're coming from; the titular house party doesn't really start until close to an hour into the film, and the buildup to it only has a couple of moments that are actually funny, but the House Party itself, once the film actually brings us there, is pretty entertaining. The celebrity cameos range from hilarious (Mark Cuban) to eye-roll inducing (Lil Wayne) to cool (Tinashe), the central protagonist duo of Jacob Latimore and Tosin Cole have great chemistry and comedic timing, and the joke factor of the film is just higher overall during the actual party. It's just a shame that it feels like it doesn't take up a lot of space in the film that's named after it.

Possibly the funniest part of the whole film is the cameo from Kid Cudi. It almost feels like a crime to call his role in the film a cameo because he's such an integral part of the film's story, and is one of the main characters of what is easily the funniest, craziest, best part of the entire movie. I won't spoil the fun because I think that, if you're into this kind of movie, I would definitely recommend seeing it. It never tries too hard, which is sometimes endearing, and sometimes a detriment to the quality of the film. Another one of the film's issues is that the ending feels incredibly rushed; with how long it took us to get to the actual House Party itself, you would think we'd spend at least a little time on the aftermath of the thing, but really the film seems content to just say "this is where the characters ended up, thanks for coming, bye bye now." in a matter of minutes. I appreciate the art of the epilogue, and it feels like House Party kind of phones theirs in. I also could have done without the main character, Kevin's, motivation for throwing the party. It feels like a McGuffin for the characters to "get serious" and "get things done" whenever anything starts to get out of hand. It just felt kind of tacked on and unnecessary when they could have easily just done it because, I don't know, they don't want to go to jail for throwing an illegal house party at LeBron James' house without his consent? That seems like a pretty good reason to kick into gear. Good enough for me, at least.

House Party is not a perfect film, by any stretch of the imagination. It has a ton of flaws, it's not as funny as it should be, and it's overall very forgettable, but did I hate it? No, not at all. I'm not sure if it's because of the aforementioned "arthouse burnout," or what, but I had fun with House Party. It's a decent enough distraction, I just feel like over time it will fade into obscurity, and not have the lasting societal impact that the film it sought to remake has.

Score: 5/10

Currently only in theaters.

[ashclouds366]

[olivinesea]

A Mixed Blessing

Chapter List

chapter eight: starting to rust

a/n: Just barely coming in at under a month, oops. I think I’m going to take a break from this one for now, it seems to be a little too much while my thoughts are occupied with school things. When I planned this all out originally, this chapter was a possible ending point but then I got ambitious and there’s quite a bit more plotted out after this. But it might be a while before I come back to it, we’ll see. Anyway, thanks for coming along for all the torture, I know it wasn’t a pleasant time but the hurt can be nice occasionally? I’ll try to write something a little kinder in the future. Warnings for all the same things —substances, abuse, some very dark thoughts and themes. ~5.7k

Aaron tries to keep it all together but the world is indifferent.

He tried to stay away, he really did. As if he could see into the future, he could imagine how quickly he would tarnish her smile, could picture it fading right in front of him. He had nightmares where Haley sat, unresponsive and slowly dissolving. But she was insistent, seeking him out, towing him along with her through her day. She’d find him at lunch and push half a sandwich at him once she realized he hadn’t brought anything to eat. Brought him along after school to loiter in the sun with the other theater kids killing time between the end of class and the start of rehearsals, loudly asserting their presence on the world. Aaron hung back, uncomfortable around such casual chaos, everyone moving too fast, speaking too loudly. Compared to his world, Haley’s life was bright, unrestrained, and viscerally present. He didn’t fit there. He stuck out in his silence, dressed in his dark clothes, still too big on him though he was finally starting to grow.

The other kids eyed him suspiciously, muttering quietly about him when they thought he couldn’t hear. Only Haley’s position at the top of whatever social apparatus they operated by kept them from outright excluding him. He didn’t mind too much, he’d heard worse, what did he care what these kids thought of him anyway? What did they know with their golden lives, their excitement, their expectations for the future? Haley’s people believed that the world was for them, would provide what they wanted when they wanted. He found it odd, watching them as they screeched and tackled each other, a blur of color so jarring he had to squint.

He could feel how his difference was noted, their eyes making the back of his neck itch. More than once he tried to disappear but every time Haley slipped her hand into his, squeezing gently, pulling him back toward the group. She’d smile, encouraging, her belief that it would all work out, that he could assimilate given enough time, was unwavering. Her optimism baffled him, sometimes even irritated him. He would inevitably feel guilty about that. Surely it was ungrateful for him to find fault in this girl who had welcomed him when there was absolutely no need for her to do so.

Not everyone was tolerant of Aaron’s presence. The drama teacher regarded him with suspicion, allowing him to stay but making it clear that she was doing him a favor. It helped that he was able to sing, shoring up the weak lower register of the female dominated cast. He was given a minor role, nothing too complicated, nothing that would embarrass them if he failed, as she assumed he would. Some of the other kids caught on to this disapproval, emboldened by it they became less subtle in the ways that they mocked him. Aaron tried to mind his own business, even skipping out on rehearsals when the attention became too much. But Haley inevitably found him, running to catch him after school as he tried to escape out a side door. She dragged him back again and again, refusing to give up on him. Insisting she had seen something special, something she thought she could coax out if given enough time—like a stray dog, so used to mistreatment that he bristled when people came near but still craved affection.

He followed reluctantly, acutely conscious of the growing dislike, mutiny thickening the air. Everything was too sharp these days, he’d lost his sources for getting high. All he had were his cigarettes, too afraid to steal alcohol from his father. He desperately wanted to go back into the woods, to fall back under the quiet spell of muffled words about nothing, watching the light filter through the branches, sparkling as the leaves moved with the breeze. He hated it here, in the building, surrounded by these people with their constant need to be heard, each louder than the last. The smells of the theater, new paint and old fabrics and so much dust made it hard to breath. The too bright lights, unnaturally hot against his skin, and the way every sound echoed made his head ache. He’d be long gone if it wasn’t for the way Haley’s touch made his heart skip, her fingers lightly brushing across his arm to get his attention. Or the way she looped her arm through his as she caught him in the hallway and insisted on walking with him to class, leading him along her sheltered path.

Aaron wondered at the lightness of her head rested against his shoulder as they sat in the grass, sticking her tongue out at something stupid another kid said, then smiling when she heard his smothered laughter. He let his attention drift, eyes wandering until he saw a group in the distance. He watched as they moved away from school, easily guessing where they were headed. He felt a pang of longing as he watched them leave, wishing he could still be part of that. He wasn’t sure he had been happy with Cole but he had at least felt like he was in the right place, like he had found someone who understood him. No one here was like him, no one less so than Haley. He was attracted to her in a different way, fascinated at how she viewed the world and how the world viewed her. He’d never known anyone who moved so easily through life, who was loved and desired by everyone she met. He couldn’t begin to imagine what that felt like though he agreed with the rest of them, she was something special. He didn’t understand why she wanted him around but he wasn’t going to contradict her. Still, he wished to be gone with the group as they sought out unobserved spaces.

“Aaron?” Haley squeezed his knee, drawing his attention back.

“Hmm?” He had no idea what she had been saying.

“Do you want to come to Mike’s house after rehearsal tonight? His parents are out of town.”

Aaron looked dubiously across the group at Mike, someone who was clear in his dislike of Aaron.

“Please?”

Aaron shrugged a shoulder, shifting uncomfortably and causing Haley to sit up.

“It’ll be fun. And it’ll be good for you to get to know everyone a little better. You’re so quiet all the time.”

“I don’t think he likes me very much,” Aaron murmured, watching as Mike narrowed his eyes in their direction.

“Don’t be silly,” she said as she hopped up. “C’mon, let’s go inside, it’s almost time.”

He looked up at her, now standing above him. Their eyes met and she smiled. She was pleased with how much he’d been softening. It had only been a few weeks and already he seemed more comfortable, at least with her. She congratulated herself a little, privately, on her success. People had gone out of their way to warn her when she started hanging out with him, bringing him places with her. He was bad, he was dangerous, he would hurt her. But she knew, had known from that first time she saw him looking at her, he wouldn’t hurt her, not ever. He wasn’t so complicated, she reasoned, they were all just scared away by his dark features, his perpetual scowl, the whispered rumors about his family. She, Haley Brooks, was better than that, deeper and more sympathetic. He wouldn’t be the first broken creature she’d healed, but he would be her biggest project yet. She didn’t imagine it could be that hard. Everyone was always happier around her, she could fix this.

He sighed, shaking his head and stood up. Sometimes he could see her watching him and he wasn’t sure he liked the look on her face. Like she was assessing him, marking his progress along some scale she had in her mind. Noting when he ate, when he was rested, when he laughed. He felt a little bit like an animal in a laboratory. But then she would smile at him and he forgot all his hesitation, forgot how he disliked being watched, how much he hated people thinking they knew what he needed. No one had ever cared like her before and he wasn’t sure what she expected in return. But he let himself forget all that and follow her where she led for another chance at that smile, another chance to hear her say his name, sounding so different coming from her lips that it might be a different name entirely.

One of her friends, already halfway back to the building, called Haley’s name and she skipped over to her, confident that Aaron would follow. He watched her go before turning back to pick up his backpack. When he straightened up, Mike was standing very close to him. Aaron wondered at how he’d moved so quickly.

“I hope you don’t think you’re coming to my house, loser.”

Aaron stared at him, debating what to do. He didn’t particularly want to go to this party, he’d really prefer not to go. But Haley had invited him and he didn’t like the way this guy was always looking at her possessively, then looking at Aaron like he’d like to strangle him. Not exactly subtle.

Mike stepped in closer. “Did you hear me? Or are you too high?” He turned to his friends and forced a laugh, “Maybe you shouldn’t have fried your brain with your little homo boyfriend.”

Aaron didn’t think, he just reacted, fist swinging up and punching the other boy in the jaw. He stumbled back, holding a hand to his face, eyes frozen wide in shock. Aaron didn’t pause, only advanced on him, swinging again. It felt good, the anger that was always simmering in his chest, the anger he only barely distracted himself from, finally had an outlet. It probably wasn’t a fair fight, Mike had been expecting Aaron to quietly take the insults as he’d been doing, pretending to ignore them as they needled him whenever Haley was out of earshot. But this insult was too far. More of a mean jab in the dark than an actual accusation, his words had hit a nerve and unlocked a force within Aaron.

Once he landed the first punch, his vision clouded over with anger and he continued to swing at the other kid. The other boys quickly jumped in, once the surprise of seeing Aaron actually fight back wore off, once they realized he meant to do real harm to their friend. He already had Mike pinned on the ground, lip bleeding, hands covering his face, before two more of his friends managed to drag Aaron off. He swung at them too, no technique but plenty of experience on the receiving end. He knew what would hurt and he had enough rage to power him through a dozen opponents. One of the others pulled him off balance, using his grip on Aaron’s wrist to fling him to the side. They blocked his path to Mike, who was scrambling backward on the grass, putting more distance between himself and this suddenly rabid opponent. Breathing hard, Aaron glared at the group, realizing he didn’t have enough strength to overpower them all, despite his murderous desire. He spit in their direction, then grabbed his bag and stalked away.

He didn’t have to think about where he was going. There was only one place to go. He’d tried to be a part of the regular world, a part of a world where time continued evenly, where lights turned on when it was dark and spotlights burned brightest on those with merit. He’d tried to fit himself into that space for Haley’s sake but he had only been fooling himself. They’d known he didn’t belong and he’d finally overstayed his welcome. It was time for him to retreat to the unlit corners of the world, return to the margins of society where people could avert their eyes, where it was easier for them to pretend they didn’t see the wrongness of the boy in front of them. He’d go back to the place in the woods and hope there was someone there that could give him what he wanted, could help him disconnect from this too bright reality. He was as sick of it as they were of him. He allowed himself a brief flicker of hope that he might find Cole out there, with his understanding and their shared history he didn’t have to think about his walls so much. But he stomped down hard on that desire, reminding himself how he had still ended up alone. No, it didn’t need to be Cole, it didn’t need to be anyone in particular, as long as they had something to get him high he didn’t care. It wouldn’t matter for very long anyway.

He crashed across the grass, his anger making his steps heavier, his thoughts louder. He didn’t realize he was being followed, that someone was calling his name. He didn’t notice until there was a hand tugging at the elbow of his jacket. He spun around fast, ready to fight. Haley shrank back at the anger in his face, the wildness in his eyes. He clenched his fists when he recognized her, trying and failing to pull back the storm of emotion that had been knocked loose. He never wanted to scare her but she was following where she didn’t belong. He only had so much control.

“Go away.”

“Are you hurt? Where are you going? Why’d you attack—”

She didn’t even have the question fully formed before he turned and started walking again, unwilling to be accused of something that wasn’t remotely his fault. He didn’t like the way it stung him, hearing that she assumed his guilt. He didn’t like that he’d let her get so close, let her have such influence over him. She ran a little to get ahead of him, taking a deep breath to steady herself. She was frightened by his fury, but she wouldn’t let him go this easily. Not after she’d spent so many hours persuading him to join her world.

“Aaron.”

He stopped short when he heard his name, looked at her with some of his anger melting into sadness, feeling betrayed even though he knew he had no one to blame but himself.

“I didn’t start it,” he could barely get the words out, hated how much he wanted her to believe him, hated that he had to explain himself.

She rubbed her face, trying to think as she pressed her palm against her lips. She found she was more frightened of this new emotion than she was of the anger. He looked so hopeless.

“I’m sorry, I just…” she didn’t know what to say now that she’d gotten him to stop, now that she could see past the heated front of anger and could see some of the broken edges he did so much to hide. Wasn’t this what she’d been asking for?

He watched her struggle with what to say, saw the moment the pity started to creep into her eyes. Before she could say anything else, before she could make him feel worse, he started walking again, pushing past her. “Just leave me alone,” he muttered. He didn’t bother to check if she followed.

When he reached the clearing it was empty except for one person stretched out on a broken down couch. At first all he could see was the back of their head, the dirty blond hair sticking up in places. The recognition was a visceral feeling, clawing through his chest. He almost couldn’t believe it was real, that he was getting exactly what he hoped for. Cole sat up when he heard Aaron’s heavy footsteps cracking through the dead leaves and sticks littering the ground. He remained seated, looking at Aaron idly, as if no time had passed, as if he’d only been waiting for Aaron to turn up after class. Aaron felt so many conflicting emotions, had so many things he wanted to say that he could only stand with his jaw clenched against the flood of words he knew he would regret. Cole twitched the corner of his mouth in a slightly mocking smile and Aaron snapped. He grabbed Cole by the collar, pulling him to his feet, unsure whether he meant to strangle him or kiss him. Cole’s gaze shifted to look behind him.

“Why’d you bring your girlfriend with you?”

Too caught up in the charge of the moment, Aaron didn’t understand what he was talking about. Cole pulled away and lifted his chin in the direction he was facing. Aaron turned and saw Haley. She’d continued to follow him, concerned about what he was planning on doing, haunted by the hollowed out look in his eyes. She stood, apprehensive, eyes darting between the two.

He scowled. “Go back to school Haley.”

“But—are you okay?” She stumbled over her words, staring openly at Cole. She’d seen him in the distance, even noticed how Aaron sometimes watched him when their paths crossed. He looked even more menacing up close.

“I’m fine.” His mouth pressed together, biting his lower lip to keep his composure. He didn’t understand why she was being so persistent, why she wouldn’t just go away like everyone else. When she still hesitated he got impatient. There were things he needed to handle and he didn’t need her here getting in the way. He waved his hand at her, brushing away her attention. “I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

From behind him Cole fluttered his fingers at her with false sweetness. She hated the way he was grinning at her, his obvious confidence that he was the one in charge of the situation. She glared at him and he laughed.

She looked one more time at Aaron, who was no longer paying attention to her, had turned back to Cole entirely. She shook her head. Fine, if he wanted this it was hardly her problem.  What did she even know of his life anyway? Trying not to feel like she’d lost, she retraced the path back to school.

As soon as she was out of earshot, Aaron started in on Cole. His thoughts were disorganized and barely coherent but he’d spent weeks trying to understand the sudden distance. He needed Cole to explain, to know his reasons for turning on him so quickly after all that they’d shared.

“What the fuck—” He hadn’t finished his question before Cole clamped his hand over his mouth.

“Shut up.”

Their eyes met and there was a mental struggle for the upper hand. One thing that had changed in the past few weeks was Aaron’s strength. No longer constantly submerged in a haze of intoxication, he felt everything more pointedly and he was ready to direct that pain elsewhere. He wanted to bite Cole, to scratch at his face, to scream at him for way he’d been abandoned, the sickness and shame he’d had to endure on his own. But the warmth of Cole’s palm, the familiar smell of his skin, the muscle memory of being in this exact position was too much. He relented almost instantly, sinking into the couch, pulling his knees up against his chest and waiting to see what Cole would do next.

Cole watched him thoughtfully, interested by this new spark of resistance but also pleased that he hadn’t made it too far on his own. A little fight kept things interesting, staved off the boredom Cole so often felt. It was probably that girl he’d been with, giving him ideas. He could see he’d have to do some damage control to bring Aaron back completely.

“I’m sorry,” he looked down, measuring drops of sincerity. “My grandma, she saw…she said she was going to report you.”

Aaron was confused, he didn’t know exactly what she could report about him but he heard the edge in Cole’s voice, knew better than to dig deeper. Cole sat down beside him, pulling one of his hands loose from where he’d wrapped it tightly around his legs. He traced Aaron’s palm with his thumb, looking into his face again.

“You know I didn’t mean it right? I didn’t have a choice.”

Aaron recoiled, sickened by the number of times those words had echoed through his life. Worse though was how easily he was willing to give into them if it only meant he could have back a little of that warmth he had found. He ducked his head and shrugged.

Cole squeezed his hand. “Good, cause I think I’ve got something you’ll like.” He let go and dug around in the couch cushions, pulling out a crumpled paper bag. When he smiled at Aaron, that familiar greedy smile, Aaron admitted to himself that he wasn’t here to fight with Cole, that he had never been coming for that. This was all he wanted, was all he was good for: to be lied to and to be led astray. He didn’t mind as long as he didn’t have to be fully present for it. He sat up a little straighter.

“Alright, let’s do it.”

They fell back in with one another but it remained uneasy. Aaron was still not allowed back at Cole’s house and he was afraid to miss too much class. Lately his father had been grumbling about sending him away and he wasn’t entirely sure he meant away to live somewhere else or away from life entirely. There were no peaceful interactions between them, only lucky days where Aaron successfully avoided being seen. A sudden increase in truancy calls would not work out well for him. If he had been a little more mature, a little less caught up in his own teenage drama, he might have noticed the changes in his father’s face, the way the lines grew deeper as his frame grew thinner. As it was he only noticed as much as he needed to know to keep himself out of the direct path of destruction. He once might have cared to notice his mother crying more, even when his father wasn’t there to be the cause of it but he was long past feeling any sort of connection to her. If she was troubled, she could find someone else to support her. She certainly hadn’t done anything to help him all these years. Nothing that he could see.

At school Haley continued to pester him. She stood up for him against the accusations that he had attacked Matt for no reason so he was still allowed at play rehearsals. He went grudgingly, only because he couldn’t shake the way he felt bewitched by Haley. Now he tried even harder to stay out of any social situations, to keep things strictly professional with the group of theater kids. However, he couldn’t help but enjoy Haley’s company at lunch and in between classes. Much as Aaron had disliked her friends, he couldn’t resist the brilliance of her personality. She made him feel like being a whole person was possible, made him forget for a few moments what he really was. She may have made him a little uncomfortable but she was relentlessly kind, and he was more than expert at keeping things hidden so he let her think she was doing some good as she badgered him into eating more and forced him to study. Even if it was only pretend, they were both getting something from it.

Only after the school day was over would he would slink away to the woods where he’d meet Cole. Cole still wasn’t speaking to him on campus, too aware of how their obvious closeness before had been risky. He hadn’t changed in their time apart either, his mood still swinging wildly from affection to disgust. It didn’t feel great but Aaron needed him, needed what Cole could give him. Attention and a steady supply of drugs. He didn’t have to worry about his insufficiencies around Cole, they were too similar for him to care about hiding the difficult parts of his life, didn’t have to worry about being pitied, about someone trying to fix him. They’d dragged more furniture into the abandoned shed, found an old metal trashcan they could burn things in to warm the place as the months crept deeper into the dark end of the year.

By the time Aaron’s sixteenth birthday came and went he felt like he was leading a completely fractured life. At home he was a ghost at best, a target when not; with Haley a treasured curiosity, constantly examined and prodded into a more acceptable shape; and with Cole, he was himself, angry and violent but self-medicated to the point where none of it mattered. Any gentleness that had existed between them over the summer was gone, every interaction was rough and scrambling, followed by a shame that only dissipated once the high kicked in.

It became harder to hold all the pieces together. He would look at himself in the mirror and struggle to remember his own name. He started smoking pot during the day again, just to ease some of the jarring transitions. At lunch, Haley talked and talked and he wouldn’t notice when she asked him a question until she poked him in the bicep and he jumped like a startled cat. When she tried to ask him about it he got annoyed, snapping at her and walking away from school, not caring that it was the middle of the day and that this bad choice was sure to come back to him that evening.

The show opening got closer as he missed more rehearsals. He missed so many that he didn’t know what he should be doing when he was there, very obviously sticking out when he went one way while the rest of the corps moved in the other direction. The drama teacher pulled him aside, giving him an ultimatum that he needed to be present at every subsequent rehearsal or he would be cut. Not so secretly hoping this would be enough to get him to leave. He started to say he didn’t give a shit about her stupid play when he saw Haley anxiously watching their conversation and swallowed his insults, only nodding, looking away so the teacher wouldn’t see his contempt for someone who could think something like a high school play mattered at all.

He made it to all the rehearsals but he was sure to be high, not enough that he would be caught but enough to be clear that it didn’t matter to him if he did. He wasn’t sure why he continued to come, why Haley had such a pull on him. It didn’t make sense that he wanted so badly to make her happy when she was so different, so far removed from everything else in his life. Maybe it was that he knew that without her, there was nothing tying him to the regular world, the place of school and society and jobs and futures. She was the only person that seemed to care if he was around, an emotion he was long past feeling for himself. She was the last reminder that he was a human being, that he mattered to someone. It was the only thing standing between him and completely giving in to the destructive force that had been whispering promises of an easy solution to his problems.

It was just enough to keep him behaved around these people who hated him without knowing anything about him. They hated what he represented, hated the way he forced them to see that the world could be ugly and painful. They were offended that he dared to show himself among the normal people when he so clearly belonged to the underside. He kept quiet and kept close to Haley when he was at school, when he was in the theater. He wore the stupid costume, the silly hat, followed the directions barked at him, sang just loud enough to carry the rest. Then he slipped away as soon as he was able.

The week of the opening performance was a bad one. Cole, having recently gotten his hands on some speed, was off on a manic high. Aaron had tried it once but hated the way the uppers spiked his anxiety, the way he felt every eye on him like his skin had turned inside out. After that first time he had declined, preferring to find oblivion in whatever downers were available. But Cole liked it quite a bit. It made his already unpredictable nature even worse, even more dangerous. He’d spend these highs running all over town, breaking car windows for fun, stealing anything worth a couple dollars. Aaron hated it and did his best to hide from him while he was strung out like that.

The afternoon of the show’s opening he’d gone to an old, private hiding spot after school with the intention of getting so stoned he couldn’t feel anything that might come his way later. He succeeded only to remember belatedly what day it was. Haley had tried to remind him several times during the day but he’d been too high, too distracted to listen. Swearing, he ran back to school, not sure what time it was or what time he was supposed to have been there.

The house lights were already off, the audience quiet as the opening bars played. He raced to get into his costume, having to re-button his shirt more than once as the tiny objects refused to line up properly. He gripped his hat as he stumbled into the wings to the sound of the chorus coming in—the chorus he was supposed to be a part of. He thought he could probably just slide onto the end of the line without attracting too much attention. Unfortunately, he found his path blocked by the drama teacher, her face dark and angry, completely out of patience for this mess of a teenager. She stared at him, his eyes red and glassy, skin pale, insultingly obvious in his intoxication.

“No.”

He looked at her unfazed, barely registering her as more than an object to move around. When he tried to step past her, she blocked him again.

“Go home Aaron,” her voice was quiet but unfriendly.

He shook his head, “I’m going to miss my cue.”

She frowned, surprised that he was aware enough to even know when his part was. “You’re high, you can’t be on school property.”

Aaron glanced into her face now, paying attention. No teacher had ever mentioned being able to tell he was not sober before.

“If you don’t leave now, I will call the police.”

He stepped back, narrowing his eyes, gauging how serious she was, if she would really draw that much attention to the situation. Her expression didn’t change and he could tell she meant it. He looked past her once more, seeing Haley step forward into the spotlight to begin her solo. His heart twisted, thinking about how disappointed she’d be that he couldn’t make this happen for her. He’d tried, tried so hard to keep it together for this. She’d been so excited and even though he couldn’t feel any of that, he liked the way it lit up her face when she talked about the performance, about how her parents and her sister would be in the audience, about how she wanted them to meet him. He’d never planned on staying for that but he’d wanted to at least be part of the show, to at least give her that.

“Now, Hotchner,” she insisted, voice cold and unsympathetic. He shrugged and tossed the hat on the ground by her feet before turning and walking out.

He headed straight for the shed, knowing there were supplies there that he had slowly siphoned away when Cole was too high to notice. He’d been saving them, watching his little stockpile grow larger. He wasn’t sure exactly what he was saving it for, exactly what his intention was but now seemed as good a time as any to find out. He hoped Cole wasn’t there, at least not until he could get his fix. Nothing would matter then.

Once inside he turned on the camp lantern he’d stolen and climbed onto a rickety chair to reach the seam between the roof and the wall. He pulled out his supplies, examining them as he settled back down on the dirty old cushions on the floor and wrapped a blanket around himself. It was an old army surplus thing, scratchy and smelling of smoke but effective against the chill. He considered his options. There was a good amount in there, probably enough for two people if he waited for Cole to turn up. He could maybe ease him out of his frenzy, bring him down to Aaron’s level, to the place where they could float through time without moving, without worrying. He thought about the last time he’d seen him, the way his eyes had moved past him without any real recognition. He thought about the dark purple bruises on his wrist where Cole had grabbed him, twisting his arm and insisting Aaron give him whatever money he had.

Fuck him, he decided.

Cole would probably be angry if he came here and found Aaron high without him, would be suspicious of how that had come to be. He would probably regret not leaving any for him but just at that moment he didn’t care. Hurt and love and shame and desire were all the same to him, all more than he wanted to feel. He just wanted to feel nothing. He set himself up quickly, well practiced and sure of his movements. He glanced around the shed once, really seeing his surroundings, seeing how far he had sunk and he laughed as he pressed the plunger down. Anyone who heard him would have been alarmed, the sound more like an animal caught in a trap than an expression of human joy. His last thought as he sank back into the ground was that it really was too much for one person. Too much to be doing alone. Then he got what he wanted and everything was just black.

[preppymayhem]

Unpopular opinion: I don’t think any of the main cast members in Riverdale have chemistry. Betty/Jughead have really bad chemistry and that’s partly due to coles caring abilities, or lack there of. Cole can’t emote; he often has a blank expression and can’t bounce off Lily’s expressions. Veronica/Archie are two hot people that the writers decided to throw into a relationship but they little chemistry. Betty/Veronica don’t really have friendship chemistry. They are always standing too far apart, like they’re acquaintances. There is a scene where Veronica puts her head on Betty’s shoulder and Betty looks stiff and doesn’t lean into her. The cast doesn’t mesh too well.

In shows like Gossip Girl, Dawson’s Creek, and One Tree Hill, the characters have great on screen chemistry as a group and with individual characters. Even though GG is a crappy show, the cast meshes really well onscreen. Serena and Blair’s body language suggests they’re best friends. Same with Nate and Chuck, I buy them as best friends even though I don’t see what Chuck and Nate have in common or what they offer eachother. In OTH Hayley and Brooke have the kind of chemistry that Betty and Veronica should have.

Oh you and me are going to fight anon! (I kid, I kid)

I am going put it out there that I, personally, do not value chemistry as much as a lot of people do and to expand further that the concept of chemistry is actually more subjective and dependent on the individual viewer than what a lot of fandom (any fandom) believes.

To start, I disagree with a lot fandoms’ supposition that chemistry is something that solely comes from actors, and while they do have some play in it, I also think that the writing, cinematography, direction, editing and music/sound design have just as much if not more of an impact on chemistry than actors’ performances. Remember you have people who are not the actors choosing the shots they used and how they are cutting those shots together. Television is not live theater, it is closer to film and movies than that.

So to being it back to Riverdale, I actually argue that any chemistry issues on the show are more due to the writing then to the cast. Riverdale is and has never really been that good at writing relationships and I think that is what shows. Like I agree that I don’t think that either Bughead or Varchie has that much chemistry, but I see that more on the writing then on Reinhart/Sprouse/Mendes/Apa, the material they are given to work is not great (especially when it comes to Veronica and Archie). Like the reason I didn’t jump on the Bughead train wasn’t because they lacked chemistry but had everything to do with I didn’t read their relationship as romantic until they kissed in episode 6, and so for me the show didn’t earn their get together or establish why them being romantic w/ each other was a natural progression of their relationship. And post get together pretty much all their scenes have read to me like solely to be there for the fans of said ship and not things that play into any narrative or relationship arc. (Riverdale is generally terrible at character arcs and most any part of holistic cohesive story telling). And that’s not a chemistry issue that is a writing issue.

Same thing with Betty and Veronica, of course they aren’t going to have friendship chemistry, s sq of like the first few episodes they have not been on screen with each other or worked on the same plots together so there is nothing there. Like I think that they actually have wonderful chemistry at the beginning of s1, it is just that the writers chose not to go anywhere with it lpbecause they are idiots. I personally love their chemistry (whether you are seeing it platonically or romantically) but it remains to date one of RD’s biggest flaws and was ultimately one of the reasons why I stopped watching the show.

Which brings me to my final point, a lot of times “chemistry” is also something supplied by the audience. I see a lot of people in different fandoms talk about chemistry or lack thereof and it really corresponds to how they genuinely feel. If they like the ship they see chemistry, if they don’t like the ship it doesn’t have chemistry. I think a lot of people like to use chemistry as a reason when they can’t put into words why we do or don’t like a ship. We all seem to have a hard time just accepting that sometimes we just like a thing and sometimes we don’t. We all come into these things with our own experiences and world views and to think that those don’t color our feelings or how we see things then we are kidding ourselves. We all have biases and the more we can accept just how subjective and particular to us our opinions are the happier we’d all be I think.

[zeeboomblebee]

Alright, here we go.

Alright, I knew from the start that I would do something like this, and even though it’s pretty late, it’s not over yet.

Ninjago… god. It’s very difficult to put exactly into words how much this little kids show about LEGO ninja means to me. But I want to share my story and express exactly how proud and happy I feel today as this series and fandom meets an absolutely incredible milestone.

I am not one of the Ninjago veterans. Like plenty of current fans, I only got into the show because of The Lego Ninjago Movie. I remember seeing the previews for the movie when in theaters for watching The Lego Batman Movie. I wasn’t a big LEGO kid. I had a couple LEGO City firefighter sets as a kid and loved to build them, but that was that. The introduction of The LEGO Movie made me extremely excited for more LEGO movies because I absolutely adored the first one and it’s unique humor. When I saw TLNM’s previews (and absolutely adored the “La-lloyd” joke), I remember thinking “isn’t there a show called Ninjago?”. I was in the mood to absorb myself in another fandom, so I decided to give this show a chance in the summer of 2017. Needless to say, I was instantly captivated by this show. I remember Zane’s true potential being quite the shock, and that was really the big hooker. I never felt the plot twist of Lloyd being the green ninja since I knew it from the start, but it was intriguing nonetheless.

Seasons passed quickly as I binged them all at once. Zane’s death truly hit hard. That particular episode made me feel emotions I have never felt in any other fandom to date. I never slammed so quickly on the “Next Episode” button in my life 😂. Cole’s ghost arc really intrigued me, and I felt a deep connection with him from that moment forward, and he’s been my favorite ninja ever since. He just by himself has given me so much comfort during more stressful times in my life, than any other character. He is my comfort character, one of my favorite characters, and I really do love this earth boy more than I could possibly put into words.

I laughed, I cried, I felt a much wider range of emotions when watching this kids show than I ever could have fathomed. I wanted to kick myself for ever dismissing this show as ���boring” and “childish” for so long instead of giving it a chance. Better late than never.

I finished Hands of Time, and was begging for more Ninjago seasons to be released. TLNM was soon in theaters, and I literally have never been so excited to see a movie as much as I had then. It didn’t quite meet my extremely high expectations, but I can never find it within myself to think too harshly of it; I owe it everything for dragging me into this world.

This show has affected me in so many ways. It has inspired me. It’s inspired the way I act and treat others. It inspires my creativity. My first ever OC, who I still hold very, very close to my heart, is a Ninjago OC. My first fanfiction was a Ninjago fanfic, and I’ve only become a better writer as I explore this world and it’s lore. I’ve drawn quite a few pieces of art, which has slowly helped hone my own art skills. But it’s also affected me and my community. I remember the moment I discovered my best friend of 2 years shared the same love for this show as me. Our trust in each other skyrocked that day, and we’ve never held a secret from each other since. I’ve met very close friends through this fandom as we bonded over the newest seasons and added lore. I have just built such a solid structure of people around me thanks to this show, and I really don’t know what I would do without some of them. I will forever be grateful for this show for this reason.

The people who make this entire show possible deserve recognition, gratitude, and love as well. I can’t possibly list them all, but a few in particular come to mind. Thank you Tommy Andreasen, for absolutely everything you do for this show. Knowing how genuinely passionate and happy you are to interact with your fans is always a breath of fresh air. I am confident the path of this show will never start shifting askew with your involvement. Thank you Brent Miller, for your genuine passion as well. There is no obligation for giving us fans the content that you do, yet you do it because it makes us (and hopefully you) happy. You reveal an entire new layer of the show to us that we normally don’t get the privilege of seeing in our fandoms, and it only makes us more excited and passionate for the series. And of course, thank you so, so much, Kirby Morrow. It’s been said many times by now, but I’ll say it again: this celebration for this fandom’s 10th anniversary is dedicated to you. Thank you for practically giving us 10 years of your voice to one of my most beloved characters of all time. It breaks our hearts that you could not be with us celebrating today. No matter what happens in the future, you will never be forgotten by any of us. We miss you, and even if most of us never knew you personally, we love you.

Ninjago just reached the most incredible milestone today. The 10 year anniversary of the pilot episodes is today. What a day. I can’t get over the idea that this show nearly ended after season 2. How could this show possibly end when there were still countless more stories of adventure and lore were meant to be told? As of now, we have 13 incredible seasons, and are very close to getting 2 more. The characters, the plot, and even the show itself has grown immeasurably in the past 10 years. Even if I’ve only been here for 3 and a half years, I’ve seen it grow dramatically right before my eyes. It is still a beautiful thing to witness. What a phenomenal show, filled with even more amazing people. So much talent in its fans. From fanfiction writers, fan artists, cosplayers, YouTubers, and countless, countless others, we have created an impressive and talented community that blows people always when they see us. Because there is so much more to this show than anyone could have ever expected.

Thank you, Ninjago. I love you so much. Happy 10th anniversary. I cannot wait until the day that I can say I’ve been a fan of this ongoing show as long as some people today can claim. Here’s to another 10 years.

🥂

[letterboxd]

Third Language.

With her debut film Farewell Amor out now following a successful journey on the festival circuit, Tanzanian-American writer and director Ekwa Msangi tells Selome Hailu about the third language of music, growing up on knockoffs of the Rambo franchise, and her favorite African filmmakers.

There’s a subtle musicality central to the way Ekwa Msangi carries herself. She finds melodies in her words: “You hum the ‘m’,” she says when asked how to pronounce her last name. “Mmm-sangi.” And perhaps to a more subconscious degree, she speaks with rhythm, too: “I do think, and I know, and I can see…” she trails off, ruminating on how much hope she feels for the future of Black filmmaking. Naturally, this musical quality meanders into her work.

Farewell Amor is a quiet film, except for when it isn’t. Three Angolan immigrants revolve around each other in an awkward orbit, each trying to make sense of their dynamic now that they’ve left their home behind. Kept apart for seventeen years by the bureaucratic intricacies of war and paperwork, Walter (Ntare Guma Mbaho Mwine) is finally joined by his wife Esther (Zainab Jah) and daughter Sylvia (Jayme Lawson—soon to be seen as Bella Reál in The Batman) in New York City. But they don’t know each other anymore and spend much of their time in silence, until music and dance burst forward as a chance at common ground.

Msangi’s screenplay never dwells on the technicalities of the family’s struggle against the American immigration system. Instead, it plunges into softer, more personal after-effects of dreams deferred. Walter’s walls bear a faded calendar with Barack Obama’s face on it, even though his empty apartment complicates the “hope” the president promised people like him. When his family arrives at long last, Esther wears a silver cross pendant, having made sense of these years as a married-yet-single mother by drawing closer—almost too close—to religion. Sylvia barely speaks at all, caught between a faith that isn’t hers and a home that isn’t either.

Ntare Guma Mbaho Mwine and Nana Mensah in ‘Farewell Amor’. / Photo courtesy IFC Films

The film’s triptych structure emerged after Msangi spent months grappling with how to create a feature-length screenplay out of her original short film. “Having just come off of the short, I was focusing on Walter’s story. But [I] didn’t think that was the most original story I could tell,” she says. “And then, out of indecision between whether I should make it Walter’s or Sylvia’s story, I decided to just do both. Initially it was two perspectives that I was looking at. But I realized that Esther’s story was really the linchpin for both of their stories, and it wouldn’t make sense not to have hers.”

Giving Walter, Esther and Sylvia their own chapters makes Farewell Amor a stronger film than if it had followed a singular, traditional protagonist. Extreme conservatism in one chapter is revealed as a desire to avoid pain in another; one character’s cramped living room is another’s space to dance freely. Writing on Letterboxd, Tabby points out how the three-part narrative structure grants meaningful subjectivity to characters who deserve it: “It’s so easy for Westernized perspectives to steamroll over films that deal in cultural disparities and thematics, but Farewell Amor takes important steps in showing all sides of the story,” she writes. “It was refreshing to see [the characters] each given the space to exist.”

This layering of voices happens in the camerawork, too. Each section of the narrative is marked with a visual language of its own, complete with specific color palettes and cinematographic techniques. Msangi thinks fondly about the work she put in with cinematographer Bruce Francis Cole to make the chapters distinct. “For Walter’s, it’s sort of a slow cinema, where there’s a lot of still framing. It’s almost like he’s stuck, you know? Stuck in the frame between two surfaces, two hard surfaces, a window frame, a door frame. And in Sylvia’s, we wanted to have it reflect her livelihood, her restlessness. All handheld cameras, all movement. And then for Esther, she’s very observant. She’s been taking everything in, almost in an investigative style, but also a little bit romantic. She’s romanticized this setup, so a lot of close shots, a lot of soft lighting.”

Jayme Lawson as Sylvia in ‘Farewell Amor’. / Photo courtesy IFC Films

Music gives Farewell Amor a cohesion across the different storylines. “Music is, for these characters in particular, and for me, kind of a third language,” Msangi says. “It gives you a glimpse under the covers, what’s under the sheets.” The soundtrack underscores strong performances from Mwine, Jah and Lawson, lending depth to their quietude and vibrance to their movement. Msangi also notes how sound became a cornerstone of her collaboration with the actors: “As I was writing from different perspectives, in order to help me get into each character’s skin, I would listen to the music that they would be interested in.” She later shared these playlists with the actors, using the songs to communicate what words couldn’t.

Msangi has a good laugh as she tries to think about the major films that inspired her to become a filmmaker. “You know, I don’t have that. Well, I do have that, but not for the reasons that most of my film peers have,” she says. Growing up in East Africa in the ’80s and ’90s, little to none of the programming on television was local. What did kids watch instead? “We watched Rambo for probably ten years straight, and then Rambo knockoffs for another ten years after that. I decided to become a filmmaker because of horrible Rambo knockoff films.”

“I grew up surrounded by such colorful and delightful and interesting and funny people,” Msangi says. “And none of that was reflected anywhere in the media.” As she grew older, she sought out African films she couldn’t access in her youth. Now, they’re some of her highest recommendations. Ousmane Sembène is the first African director whose filmography she ever got the chance to dive into. Sembène’s 50-year career has garnered him the affectionate title of ‘Father of African film’ among many critics and scholars, who laud him for his dramas, including Black Girl and Camp de Thiaroye. Msangi, however, finds herself taken with his unique sense of humor. She has also been inspired by Safi Faye, another Senegalese director, who became the first sub-Saharan African woman to attain commercial distribution in 1975—and whose film Mossane portrays sexual intimacy with an openness Msangi hadn’t seen elsewhere.

Writer-director Ekwa Msangi. / Photo courtesy IFC Films

In Farewell Amor, Sylvia’s chapter reads like a compacted coming-of-age film. Msangi points to South African director Darrell James Roodt’s Sarafina! as an influence in that regard. “It was showing for two weeks in Nairobi, and I lined up for four hours to watch,” she says about the film, a drama about youth involvement in the 1976 Soweto uprising. “Even though it’s from a different part of the continent, I’d never seen young African teenagers on a screen before.” More recently, she has loved 2011 TIFF breakout and Oscar contender Death for Sale by Moroccan director Faouzi Bensaïdi, and Radha Blank’s The Forty-Year-Old Version is her favorite film of 2020. She’s hopeful about the future of Black American cinema: Ava DuVernay and Ryan Coogler are two of her favorite working directors.

Msangi’s selections are wide in range, but there’s still one thing holding them together: themes of vulnerability, community and celebration of identity, across different decades and genres. In fact, her approach to watching movies isn’t far off from the way she made her own—Farewell Amor maps concurrent experiences of disparate people, and Msangi’s tastes seem driven by the same balance of vastness and specificity.

“I’m a filmmaker who really abhors working on the same kind of story over and over again, the same genre, the same kinds of characters,” she says. “So I’m not going to make my career just telling stories about immigrants or about, you know, their wretched troubles,” she laughs. “I don’t want to do that.”

Msangi’s next project will be an African-American period piece; beyond that, she hopes to make films in several locations: the Caribbean, Europe and all over the African continent. “I really would like to just have a lot of fun with my career. You know? Because it’s a fun and magical industry that we work in! The work that we do in creating these stories and hopes and dreams—we create magic, so it should be fun.”

Related content

Adam Davie’s Black Life on Film list

Shachar’s 20 Films by Black Directors 2021 Challenge

Screenpaige’s list of Black Women in Film

Follow Selome on Letterboxd

‘Farewell Amor’ is out now in select theaters and on demand through IFC.

[papenniesandbentoboxes]

I saw this on Pinterest and had to do it.

1. Nancy is the leader no matter what. Either that or she rebels and gets into trouble.

2. Frank is a great second in command after Nancy. Good mastermind and strategist.

3. George is big brain. Techie. Wrinkly brain.

4. Henry heals our hearts.

5. Mason is a genius. A dumb one but a genius.

6. Idk I can see Alexei as a sniper. Also “Markovic” and “Marksman” kinda go togther.

7. Joe would love blowing stuff up. Also he’s very smart and would actually be a good person to handle the explosives.

8. Robot.

9. Zoe is amazing and I think the only reason Nancy caught her breaking in was because she knew Nancy couldn’t do anything and wanted to taunt her.

10. Patrick is always helpful though. He gives us crackers. But he is dumb. (or is he?)

11. Deirdre’s always been a lone wolf. But she’d be a good asset for a squad like this.

12. This guy’s body just screams “sexy” and “tank”. He’s built like a... Something really thick and sturdy. idk. A tree but with more sex appeal.

13. Alec is a badass, case closed. Private investigator, skip tracer, spy? Also he’s fun so win-win.

14. Ryan is an engineer, a mechanical genius, and endless entertainment.

15. Ned is always the support. Whether it’s fighting or emotional, he’s a good support.

16. Sonny is so chaotic, where else would he go?

17. Jamila is so cool. She blends in and no one suspects her. Perfect scout for any situation.

18. He’s... Kind of a hacker, I guess. 

19. This guy is a ranch hand, which means he lifts bales of hay and chops wood and all that jazz. Also look at him and tell me he isn’t a powerhouse.

20. Dylan goes places. Enough said. Also look at his outfit.

21. I think Tino would be good for stuff like that. Idk he seemed to survive an assault with plastic dinnerware so maybe he’d be good at this.

22. Bess boosts everyone’s morale. She’s just a load of cuteness and charisma.

23. Grigor is a theater kid, which means he can probably sing, dance, act, do props, set design, set building, lights, fly systems, etc. Jack of all trades.

24. I hate Alicia Cole.

25. Jane is the last resort. They don’t use her until the last moment. She’s too powerful.

[lovelyteng]

Haunted Corruption Chapter 1 - Started Worse At Night

(Start to night as full moon, pans down as appears words said "Few Years Later..." as voice-over speaks while pans to the city even park, building, and houses as wind start breezing.)

Cal: (narrating) My name is Cal Suresh. I'm former chess champion. So, after event of Wonderworld as outside of the theater... Few years ago, me and my friends was trapped in the theater and then corrupted into negative monsters by Lance... As for me... My corrupted monster named Fortstopher IV who king of my set stage called "On the Board of the Traveler". He was appeared with my anger and narcissism by my first lost of chess challenge on the theater, then I turned into him as I'm gets a corrupted! (Lightning strike flashes on screen as cut to Cal's House, then pans to inside from window to pictures from walls as pans it while said.) Then he defeated and I'm free by Leo Craig and Emma Cole with costumes from my kingdom, and then during battle Lance, me and my friends give them with personal costumes to defeat him. (Last pans as final picture was Cal and his 13 friends along Balan with happy expressions as shadow figure with teal eyes walking on the hallway in guilty and worried as holding the bucket, then down the stairs while continue speaking.) Finally, they're got defeated Lance, me and my friends are finally gets outside of the theater... (Cut to kitchen, shadow figure puts bucket on the desk, then picks the pot and popcorn pack as it pours in the pot, then turn on the stove and the pot places on the stove as cooking while continue speaking.) I've got realized for after chess challenge when I lost. It was... (While narrative, shadow figure pours popcorn on the bucket as takes it and then walks to living room.) My past mistakes.

(Lunar light shines to shadow figure revealed was Cal Suresh who feeling guilty and worried as he holding popcorn, then he sitting couch and turn on the tv but he got interrupted by doorbell was ring which feeling scary as puts popcorn on the couch and then picks the broom, he walking slowly and reaches the doorknob, then quickly open the door, he screams and then looks down was Cass Milligan who feeling anxiety and guilty as holding an umbrella.)

Cal: (gasps) Cass! I'm really sorry about this, I thought you're a corrupted people!

Cass: (soft voice) It's okay, Cal. I can't find my pet cat, Paula! You seen her?

Cal: I'm sorry, I can't seen her.

Cass: Then why are you scared me as you thought I was a corrupted people?

Cal: I watched my favorite horror series on TV called "Corrupted of Infection"! Like I almost watch end episode about that! Which I watching it in every night.

Cass: Wow! That's way too much for watches it, Cal. And thank you for saying about my pet as you can't seen her. (Walks away.)

Cal: (waves of goodbye to Cass) Okay, good night and good luck to find her! (Closes the door, walks back to place for sit, and turns on the TV as appears of Corrupted of Infection.) Oh! I can't wait a final episode as nightmare was end soon! (Picks the popcorn and eats it.)

(Cut to outside of Balan Theater as Fiona Demetria, Haoyu Chang, Iben Bia, Attilio Caccini, and Lucy Wong run to outside the theater from different directions, then they looking Cass.)

Cass: You found her? (Fiona, Haoyu, Iben, Attilio, and Lucy shook their head.)

Attilio: I can't her either. Same for Yuri.

Lucy: Same for Jose.

Haoyu: Same for my adoptive aunt, Sana.

Fiona: Same for Eis.

Iben: Same for my adoptive father, Bruce.

Cass: (anxiety as starts come out the tears) And same for Cal! (Sobbing while runs as enters into Balan Theater.)

Attilio: Cass, wait! (He and his four friends run as enter into Balan Theater.)

(Cut to Jose Gallard, Yuri Brand, Sana Hudson, Eis Glover, and Bruce Stone walking on the sidewalks.)

Sana: Geez! My adoptive brother have watching his favorite show... again!

Jose: He seem likes almost done for watching TV because the last episode of final season was here as he's finally over to it.

Bruce: (chuckles) I liked him when he getting excited about final episode.

Eis: (nods while humming in agree) Me too.

Yuri: I wonder he's doing about watching it?

(Cut to Cal watching the TV in shocked and worried as Corrupted of Infection appears on the TV's screen while eating the popcorn in worried.)

Woman: (in British accent and German voice-toned) Dr. Clement! Go!

Dr. Clement: But Trixie...

Corrupted Peoples: (in eerie and echo voices) Join us, Trixie Taylor...!

Trixie: Just go!

(Cut to Cal shook in worried while he says.)

Cal: Trixie, don't do it, don't do it! (Cut back to show, Trixie screaming and caught by corrupted peoples as Dr. Clement screams and runs, cut back to Cal screams along Dr. Clement till stop the screams.) Oh no, Dr. Cliff Clement, looks like, you're a last one of entire city!

(Cut back to Jose, Yuri, Sana, Eis, and Bruce walks to outside of Balan Theater.)

Bruce: The youngsters inside the theater.

Eis: I wonder they're doing of inside this?

(Cut to inside of Balan Theater. Fiona, Haoyu, Iben, Attilio, and Lucy walking with flashlights during Cass crying of anxiety in background.)

Iben: Oh, poor Cass. She never found her cat...

(Fiona, Haoyu, Iben, Attilio, and Lucy shocked from Cass screaming in background.)

Attilio: Cass? Are you okay? Cass! (Gasps) I'm coming for you! (Runs away.)

Haoyu: Hey, Attilio! Wait for us! (He and his friend runs to Attilio as join him.)

(Cut to outside of Dressing Room as Fiona, Haoyu, Iben, Attilio, and Lucy runs to it as Attilio toward front of his friends.)

Attilio: Okay then! (hesitated) I go to her or I call to her! Or, or, or, or... (still hesitated but shocked) What?! (Holds his head and shook.) What's happening to me?! (Grunts and fall as hold on the floor.)

Fiona: Attilio? Are you okay?

Attilio: I'm fine... But I'm feeling cold in here.

Haoyu: Neither do I have.

Fiona: Me too.

Lucy: Yes, I have, Fiona.

Iben: I feel... my negative inside me...

(Suddenly, Cass stopped screaming as the door was knocks.)

Cass: (inside of Dressing Room, in eerie and echo voice as calmly.) Attilio... Come in...

Attilio: (paused as worried) Uh, Cass? Are you okay?

Cass: (still calmly) Yes, I'm completely fine. Why are you come in?

Attilio: Uh... (To Haoyu) What's wrong with her?

Haoyu: I don't know.

Attilio: Well, thank for my hesitance and indecision to myself. (Open the door, he gasps in horror.) Cass! What's happened to you?! (Familiar hand take Attilio and drag him into Dressing Room as screams, then closed it as flashlights are all turned off.)

(Cut to Fiona, Haoyu, Iben, and Lucy scream, then runs and tired open the door as it seem locked while Attilio screaming.)

Lucy: (grieved) Oh no! Attilio! Are are you okay with Cass?! What's happened to you and her?! (still grieved but shocked) What?! Why I can't hold emotion this?! (Holds her head and shook.) What's happening to me?! (Grunts and fall as hold on the floor.)

Haoyu: That's strange. The reason was happened to Cass, Attilio, and Lucy. It's seem like... haunted!

Fiona, Iben, and Lucy: (gasp) What?! How?!

Haoyu: The spirit entered the mortal's body, the spirit which kind of... the corrupted form.

Fiona, Haoyu, Iben, and Lucy: (shocked in realize) Nega-Bosses?! They're back?!

(Attilio stopped screaming as Fiona, Haoyu, Iben, and Lucy paused and looking to Cass and Attilio come out Dressing Room in calmly with creepy smile as their eyes was covered from below the heads.)

Fiona: Cass? Attilio? Are are you okay, you two?

Cass: (in unison of Purrla and her voice with eerie and echo) Yes, Fiona... We're fine and I'm happy by him... (Points at Attilio.)

Attilio: (in unison of Princess Marey and his voice with eerie and echo) That's right...

(Cut to Fiona, Haoyu, Iben, and Lucy slowly walks away in backward from Cass and Attilio.)

Iben: You're acting creepy while your looks was different!

Lucy: Yes! I agreed to her!

Cass: Well, you seem already used...

Cass and Attilio: Your... Main... Negative... Emotion!

(Spotlights turned on as shine to Cass and Attilio as Fiona, Haoyu, Iben, and Lucy screaming in horror to Cass and Attilio was half of their normal and Nega-Boss form, then their eyes shown was part of Nega-Boss.)

(Cut back to Jose, Yuri, Sana, Eis, and Bruce hear their friends' screaming, then cut to Cal hears the screaming while eating popcorn was paused from screaming.)

Cal: (shivering, worried) Err... I don't likes this!

(Cut back to inside of Balan Theater. Fiona, Haoyu, Iben, and Lucy start run but Attilio touches Lucy's back as Lucy screaming while transform as her eyes turned into Inkaballe's eyes, then turned of half-corrupted of Inkaballe as stop screaming while Fiona, Haoyu, and Iben gasp as Cass and Attilio laughing in creepy happily and Lucy stand up as join them while Fiona, Haoyu, and Iben screaming in terrible.)

Haoyu: Run! (He runs along Fiona and Iben.)

Cass: Look likes they're playing cat-and-mouse chasing game!

Attilio: Sounds great idea for you, Clocktower Kid!

Lucy: (in unison of Inkaballe and her voice with eerie and echo) Then we're chase them!

(Cass, Attilio, and Lucy runs as chase Fiona, Haoyu, and Iben runs to exit doors but Lucy used her power to blocked every doors as they stopped, Haoyu tries open the door in impatient while Iben looking Haoyu in worried as Fiona looking Haoyu and then looking Cass, Attilio, and Lucy, then gasps in realized.)

Fiona: I know what's happened to them! It was infected of corrupted was one main negative emotion as appeared Nega-Boss likes same start corrupted from last time! As infected people touches one person who getting full of main negative emotion energy, they'll turn into corrupted people!

Iben: I thinks it is!

Fiona: Haoyu, please stop be impatient for that! You'll getting infected!

Haoyu: (impatiently) I know, I know! I'm trying open the door!

Fiona: But you need to relax as open the door. (Haoyu slaps her hand as start cry, Haoyu and Iben gasp.)

Haoyu: Oh no! Sorry, Fiona! I-I didn't do this!

Fiona: (sobs in betrayed) I was trying you to be relax, Haoyu! (Runs away with sobbing.)

Iben: Fiona, wait!

Haoyu: (still impatiently but shocked) Why I did do to her?! (Holds his head and shook.) This can't be happening to me!

Iben: (gasps) Haoyu!

Lucy: Looks like I'm touches him!

(Iben gasps as looking anywhere until looking the metal staff as she gets it. Iben fighting Cass, Attilio, and Lucy as Lucy touches Haoyu on his back as he screaming while transform as his eyes turned into Worville Wright's eyes, then turned of half-corrupted of Worville Wright as stop screaming as until Iben stopped fight and gasp to Haoyu laughing in crazy as Cass, Attilio, and Lucy join him as Haoyu stand up as flying while Iben screaming in terrible and runs away.)

(Cut to Jose, Yuri, Sana, Eis, and Bruce as outside of Balan Theater. Eis and Sana tries open the door while Jose and Bruce getting tired from night as Yuri looks firefly.)

Jose: (sleepily) We can get to home now? We're getting tired as start sleep from night into overnight! And Bruce already falling asleep! (Points at Bruce sleep as he and Yuri holding him.)

Sana: Seem you're right then, not seem for Cal still watching the show as he getting tired as keeps opening his eyes.

(Cut to Cal still watching TV as his eyes getting red from tired and sleep which feeling worried for much longer as still eats the popcorn.)

Dr. Clement: You! You are one for caused of this to everyone, Dr. Edgar Albert!

Dr. Albert: (in Scottish accent) Well, yer lad can't stop me, Dr. Edgar Albert!

Cal: You can do, Cliff!

(Cut back to Iben running to find Fiona and away from Cass, Haoyu, Attilio, and Lucy until she stopped runs as start crying as grief and then sitting on the floor as covering her eyes, then she start holds her head and shook with grief.)

Fiona: (offscreen) Iben! (Runs to Iben in worried.) Are you okay?

Iben: (gasps as wiping her tears) You're came back here!

Fiona: Don't worry, Iben. I'm here. (Pats Iben's back as her eyes turned Inkaballe's eyes as smiling, in unison of Inkaballe and her voice with eerie and echo) And you'll never left from us, The Lady of the Midnight Sun!

Iben: (gasps in shocked) Wait! You're not Fiona! You're... (Fiona shape-shifting into Lucy.) Lucy?!

Lucy: Surprise! (Taps Iben's back as as she screaming while transform as her eyes turned into The Grim Creeper's eyes, then turned of half-corrupted of The Grim Creeper as stop screaming, she looking herself, then looking Lucy with Cass, Haoyu, and Attilio walking as they're all smiling as Iben stand up while Fiona watching them as hiding the box, she gasps and runs away.)

(Cut to Jose, Yuri, Sana, Eis, and Bruce as outside of Balan Theater. Eis and Sana getting more tries open the door while Jose start fall asleep but shocked as wake up as holding Bruce when fall asleep as Yuri holding him and feeling worried.)

Jose: (facepalms and then slide down, groans in tired) Come on, you two! This'll get takes longer!

(Suddenly, Jose, Yuri, Sana, Eis, and Bruce shocked even Bruce who wake up in shocked from phone ringing. Yuri holds her phone and looking it as taps it, she gasps.)

Yuri: It's Fiona! She's got a problem for our friends!

Bruce: What?! Did someone hurts my adopted daughter? (He, Jose, Sana, and Eis looking Yuri's phone.)

Fiona: (onscreen from Yuri's phone, in crying of betrayed) Yes, Bruce! Iben turned half-corrupted form as same Cass, Haoyu, Attilio, and Lucy! (Jose, Yuri, Sana, Eis, and Bruce gasp in horror.)

Jose and Eis: What?!

Yuri: What's happened to them?

Fiona: Well, we're enter the theater, getting start feeling cold as... Nega-Bosses haunted us... in spirit. (Jose, Yuri, Sana, Eis, and Bruce gasp in horror even more.) You're one main negative emotion like Nega-Bosses was appeared... (Five shadow figures with glowing familiar eyes as sneak to her while Jose, Yuri, Sana, Eis, and Bruce start worried to her.)

Sana: Uh, Fiona?

Fiona: ...Then touched behide us... turned into half-corrupted of Nega-Bosses! (Five shadow figures shine as light on as realized Cass, Haoyu, Iben, Attilio, and Lucy which smiling as sneaking behind Fiona as Jose, Yuri, Sana, Eis, and Bruce scream in horror.)

Eis: Fiona, watch out for behind you!

Fiona: Huh, what? (Turns around to Cass, Haoyu, Iben, Attilio, and Lucy as scream, then they touch Fiona in unison as she dropped her phone as screen pitched black which she screaming and transformation sounds offscreen while Jose, Yuri, Sana, Eis, and Bruce shocked expressions moment as Yuri taps mute speak-call.)

Eis: I don't like this!

Sana: Me too!

(Jose, Yuri, Sana, Eis, and Bruce paused from Fiona finally stop screaming.)

Jose: I thinks she's okay then?

Bruce: I don't thinks so then...

Yuri: Look! (The screen shows up to familiar figure with Anjellica's eyes as she, Jose, Sana, Eis, and Bruce gasp in horror.) The eyes... something... familiar!

Bruce: (gasps) It's can't be!

Jose: It was...

(Spotlights turned on as shine as revealed was Fiona turned half-corrupted form of Anjellica as Jose, Yuri, Sana, Eis, and Bruce scream in horror.)

Jose, Yuri, Sana, Eis, and Bruce: Fiona?!

Fiona: (in unison of Anjellica and her voice with eerie and echo) Come on and join us! (She laughing along Cass, Haoyu, Iben, Attilio, and Lucy as Jose, Yuri, Sana, Eis, and Bruce screams, Yuri taps end of calling as she and her friends breathing in relief.)

Yuri: That was so close one!

Jose: What's gonna to do with?!

Sana: Tomorrow, we're enter the theater.

Jose, Yuri, Eis, and Bruce: What?!

Eis: Are you lost of your mind?

Sana: No! This gonna enter... with Cal!

Jose, Yuri, Eis, and Bruce: (gasp) Cal!

Bruce: That was could be work as he's getting join us.

Sana: Come on, guys. Let's go home.

(Jose, Yuri, Sana, Eis, and Bruce walking in different directions for their home. Cut to Cal fall asleep as snoring on the couch along the popcorn falls on the floor, Sana and Yuri open and enter the house as Sana turned on the light, she and Yuri shocked to Cal was fall asleep on the couch and the popcorn fell on the floor.)

Sana: Well, Yuri. He seems got missed TV show. (Yuri walks to TV as screen was natural show.)

Yuri: No, mother. He seems got done for his favorite TV show. (Take the remote from Cal's hand as turned off.)

(Sana and Yuri walking to the stairs, pans to Cal.)

Sana: (offscreen) Tomorrow, we're going to theater along with him.

(Cal start scared in sleep from the voices of his head.)

Fortstopher IV: (in Cal's head) You heard that, Sir Suresh? They're want you for your help.

Fortie VI: (in Cal's head) Then you and your friends enter the theater, they'll join you.

Cal: (with sleep talking) No! Getting away from me! (Whining as holds his head in sleep.)

(Fade out as pitched black screen.)

To be continued. 

List of Chapters

Next

[fluffykitty1999-blog]

Burned Chapter 16

Roy sat at the small desk with his ballot and pen, looking at the choices carefully.

"You said Susans wants to increase school funding and make the train schedule rigid. Trevors wants to restructure taxes and better waste disposal. And Xavier...?"

"Wants to slash the police budget to 'keep the cost of living down'." Ed frowned, looking unhappy at the notion. "I was actually headed towards the theater yesterday to see if I could catch the end of the debates when I found the newest victim."

"Right." Roy paused for a moment, thinking, before marking the box for Susans and standing, casting his ballot in the box and leaving, Ed quick behind him.

"So- how long until the election results come out?"

"Tomorrow morning. The voting closes at nine, and they'll be up until the wee hours of the morning counting votes. The morning papers will definitely be running the results."

"Huh. Neat." Ed stuffed both hands in his coat pockets as they kept walking along.

"Why the sudden interest in politics, anyways? You never really cared about rank." Roy admitted.

Ed shrugged. "I don't care for politics. But you do. You want to be Furher someday. And it's not a bad idea- having a basic understanding of the politics surrounding you can help you make a good decision and avoid getting stabbed in the back."

"So you've actually been paying attention to some of this stuff then?"

"That and any report I can get my hands on about this serial killer. People say things to me- people nobody listen to. The frustrated farmers, the miners in the dead end towns in the middle of nowhere- a lot of powerful people don't pay attention. But I do. I try to catalog it all away so I know the best decision to make. And who I can count on to back my interests in a crisis. Even the politicians let things slip to me, because they think I'm just a kid."

"Really, like what?"

"I... that promotion that was happening? Where Colonel Lincoln was made Brigadier General in west city?"

Roy stopped walking and his eyes hardened. He'd been more qualified for that position, but he hadn't even been considered.

"I knew you weren't going to get it." Ed said lamely.

Roy caught the boy by the shoulder to stop him walking and spun him around. "How?"

"I was at a bar in west city, chasing a lead on the stone. I ran into some drunk local- was trying to find the mineral broker's shop. But all the guy kept bragging about was how his brother was going to be brigadier general in 3 weeks. Cheated his way to the top."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Roy's features were stern, and he was pissed.

"Because... it was just going to frustrate you. There was nothing you could've done-"

"You don't know that! If you'd have told me, maybe I could've done something to out-compete him. You're my subordinate, you're supposed to report those things to me!"

"There's no way you could've beaten him-"

"And how do you know that, Ed?" Roy seethed.

Edward stepped closer to Roy, his eyes steely and voice sharp and barely above a whisper. "Because you wouldn't have let Lieutenant General Atkins fuck you. Lincoln did. I know you want to make it to the top. But I've been under your command long enough to know you wouldn't sacrifice your principles for it."

Roy's fists unclenched, and he found himself dumbfounded. "You're sure it's not a rumor? Just some drunk guy rambling?"

"No. It's not. I checked the current assignments when I got back- Lincoln and Atkins had been sent to a remote post near Drachma for reconnaissance together. Apparently they'd made an... arrangement... while they were there. Sex for rank. I wasn't sure if it was true, but when news of the promotion came about I knew it was..."

Roy sighed, running his fingers through his hair. "And why didn't you tell me this?"

"Because... you'd have gotten mad at me. Like you just did." Ed looked defensive and slightly angry as he glared at Roy, before his eyes found the ground. "Besides, it happens all the time. People try and trade... favors... for rank."

"No, Ed, they don't. Not in my office."

"I know you don't..." Ed bit his lip, kicking a stone with his boot.

Why wouldn't Ed meet his eyes? Realization hit Roy like a spark exploding into flame, and his eyes widened.

"Who? Who propositioned you, Ed?"

"You're gonna get mad again. It's nothing, can we just drop it?" there was a note of pleading in Ed's voice, and Roy frowned.

He took a deep breath and sighed. "No, Ed, we can't. Because you're a child and I got you into the military, and it's my duty to protect you."

"What are you gonna do, anyways? Anything you do will get swept under the rug, you're gonna throw away your whole career for one stupid kid?"

"I didn't say that." Roy took a breath, steadying himself. His heart pounded and he felt shaky. "More then likely, Ed, I won't be able to do anything. Right now. But I want to know because you are my subordinate, and it's my duty to protect you. And even if I can't do anything about it now, I want to know the name, so that I can put them at the top of my shit list when I have the rank to make their life hell. I'm not going to do anything stupid- but I'd like to know what happened."

Ed's eyes darted around the room. They were in a mostly empty hallway- the voting poll closed soon. "Not here." he said finally.

Alphonse was upstairs reading, out of earshot.

Ed sat morosely at the kitchen table, and Roy angrily put on the kettle, slamming it on the burner with more force than necessary.

What was most unnerving was that Ed still wouldn't meet his eyes, staring at the table like it was the most interesting thing in the room.

He opened the cupboard, pulling out their two favorite mugs, parking them on the counter and splashing a little milk into the bottom of both cups, before squeezing a generous amount of honey into the other cup- Ed's cup. Ed always seemed happier after he'd drank tea that was very sweet. He hung two teabags over the rim of each cup.

The kettle started to sing, and Roy plucked it from the stove, filling both cups before taking them both by the handle, walking over to the table and sliding the forest green mug across the table to Ed, and nursing his own yellow mug close to him as he sat down.

"Well?" Roy cocked an eyebrow.

Ed glanced up at him, before he was staring into his mug. It was rare that the Fullmetal alchemist was without words, and it settled like a block of ice in Roy's gut.

"Did they do more than talk? Ed, did they hurt you?"

"No! I... let me drink my damn tea. I'm trying to figure out how to explain it." Ed groused, frustrated, before he was taking a minuscule sip of scalding tea.

Roy waited one moment, two... The silence made him anxious. But he needed to be patient with Ed, couldn't push the boy.

"Remember when Major General Cole came up to visit from South City?" Ed said finally.

Roy frowned. "That was 8 months ago. You'd just passed the state alchemy exam." Ed had just turned 13. He remembered because Hawkeye had insisted they share a cake in the office with the boy the day before the visit. Ed had seemed surprised but please, and thanked her for the cake. He'd devoured his piece happily, and licked all the frosting from his fork. Ed really did like sweet things. Ed had been quiet for the next few days, but Roy had assumed it was because he was sad Al couldn't have a birthday like a normal kid as well...

"Yeah. Well I was in the washroom that day, and I was... using the urinal..." it was hard for Ed to keep the blush from his cheeks. "And this guy walked in. And he went behind me into a stall, and I thought, no big deal, he's gotta go too."

"And when I was washing my hands, I felt a hand on my shoulder. And I turned around and this guy is staring at me. And I saw the bars on his chest- I didn't even know what rank he was, just that he was higher than you- and I tried to salute him because I was nervous, but my hands were all soap, and it was just a mess. I got soap in my eyes."

Roy suppressed the urge to smile. While the mental image was funny, if he'd laughed Ed would've thought he was laughing at him, and been more embarrassed. And there was nothing funny about this situation.

"He told me to relax. Said he was Major General Cole from South city and he wanted to know if I was the Fullmetal Alchemist. So I said yeah, and he said he'd heard I was a prodigy. He said that with how far I'd moved up the ranks already- I was a major- he said if I transferred to under his command, he'd make me a Lieutenant Colonel in 3 months. If I worked for it. And I thought that was really cool, to be the same rank as Hughes, but then I noticed he was getting closer to me and so I stepped back."

"He reached up and touched my braid. Said I'd have to put in work to make it happen though. Spend late nights at the office with him so he could show me what I needed to know. That was when I started feeling kinda weird... Then he told me I looked like a girl. And that a face like mine would be appreciated in his office.

"I told him I wasn't interested. He asked whose command I was under and I said Mustang, and I lied and told him you'd be mad because I was supposed to be back with an urgent report. I know I lied but I was scared and I didn't like him and so I turned and left. I knew he might try something if I was alone, but he thought you were expecting me, so he didn't."

"And you didn't tell me any of this." Roy was disappointed- both that Ed was too scared to tell him, and that he'd been put in that position in the first place.

"I didn't want to make waves. I'd only just got my state alchemist watch, and I figured it wasn't important. I didn't want enemies."

"You didn't trust me and my team to protect you?"

"No, I did, I just... It wasn't important at the time, alright? I had bigger things on my mind. I mean, yeah, it was weird, but I had to start looking for the stone with Al, so I put it aside because I had work to do. Even now, I just try to stay clear of officers from South City."

Roy sighed. "I wished you'd told me sooner."

"Yeah, I should have... What are you gonna do to him? Major General Cole, I mean?"

"I'm not going to do anything. I'm going to mention it to Hawkeye. And she's going to watch his every move until he files a report late or misses some paperwork or drops the ball. And then an anonymous report will get put in and he'll get in trouble. He's gotta drop the ball sometime. And if he doesn't- well, when I'm fuhrer, he'll clean latrines for the rest of his damn life."

"Right. That's good." Ed sipped his tea, looking slightly relieved. It was almost 10, now, and Ed looked at the clock, acutely aware of the time. "Any news from Hughes on the investigation?"

"No." Mustang sat up a little straighter, acutely aware. "And you're not sneaking out to try and catch the killer tonight either, understand?"

"Hey I was just asking." Ed put both hands up, defensive. He took a long pull of warm tea and yawned. "I'm tired, anyways. Hughes can handle it. I was just gonna do some reading and go to bed. Oh..." Ed paused, looking up at Roy hesitantly.

"Yes?"

"Can... can we get a newspaper tomorrow morning? I want to know who won the election." Ed was almost shy about asking, and Roy smiled.

"Yeah. Yeah, we can get a newspaper tomorrow."

"Cool. I hope Susans wins. I hate waiting for trains." Ed punctuated the statement with a yawn, taking his half-full mug and standing, heading upstairs.

"'Night."

"Goodnight, Edward.".

If Roy knew Edward well enough, the boy would be asleep soon after he finished his tea. That was one of the little things about Edward he hadn't known until the boy had moved in with him. That the boy was much more relaxed and easy to send to bed after he'd had warm tea with a considerable amount of honey in it.

Edward climbed the stairs and was about to head to his room when he noticed a candle burning in the study. He paused, mug in hand, before he was ducking inside. There, on the desk, was a worn journal opened to a page. There was an alchemic array he hadn't seen before sketched in the middle of the page, and for a moment, his fatigue was forgotten, replaced by curiosity.

The handwriting was old and spidery, hard to read and definitely not Roy's. But the array looked familiar. It looked- it almost looked like the array on Roy's gloves.

Ed paused, looking down at the book in awe. It was a manual on flame alchemy- something rare and hard to understand. Something he'd been able to think about, but never perform.

He wasn't sure he should be looking at it. But now that it was in front of him, it was hard to tear his eyes away... There was no such thing as forbidden, was there? Not when he'd already committed the ultimate taboo of human transmutation. Besides, if flame alchemy could help him reach his goal...

Ed swallowed down his racing heart. Since when was he afraid? He'd never been afraid to break rules before. He picked up the book, pocketing it, blowing out the candle and ducking into his own room, lighting his own candle and starting to pour over the book.

When he heard mustang start to climb the stairs, he quickly blew out his candle and ducked beneath the covers, hiding the book beneath the sheets and feigning sleep. He heard Mustang pause at his door, checking he was asleep, before he continued on down the hall, to his own room. Once Ed was sure he was gone, he struck another match, re-lit his candle, and continued reading, pulling a notebook from the nightstand and starting to take notes.

Flame alchemy was the most complicated thing he'd read of, let alone attempted, since human transmutation.

What’s this? A button to donate currency to the caffinated liquid fund? O.o https://ko-fi.com/fluffykitty12

[saventhhaven]

Musically Inclined

Pairing; Sam Winchester x reader

Tags: implied smut, flustered!reader, flustered!Sam, Supernatural the Musical, confused!Dean

Word Count: 1,720

A/N: Based on S10, E5

(Gif not mine)

The two Winchesters got out of the front seats of the car in unrehearsed and unplanned unison, causing you to roll your eyes. It's like they were trying to be the unrealistic FBI agents from hoaky television shows. By the time you made it out of the car, they were already making their way up to the school. Damn them and their long legs.

"Hey!" you called after them irritably. "Are you guys gonna wait for me, or what?"

"Nah," Dean responded. Had you not been trying to keep up the professional façade, you may or may not have punched him in the arm.

"So," Sam started his signature run-down, "the last place Mrs. Chandler was seen by anyone was in the auditorium. Turns out, she's the drama teacher." Dean let out an exasperated sigh as you walked, his face more than enough for you to be able to tell that he already didn't like where this case was going.

"Theater kids. Great," he mumbled sarcastically.

"I was a theater kid," Sam said defensively. A wide grin broke out across your face, and you looked up at the tall Winchester with glee.

"No shit? I've got to hear this." Sam's lips turned almost nonexistent as he pressed them into a tight line. "No, wait, don't tell me. I can see it now: Sam Winchester himself on a stage under a spotlight, reciting Shakespearian verses in iambic pentameter."

"That ain't too far off from what he does now," Dean said under his breath as he leaned toward you conspiratorially. You snorted loudly, and Sam came to an immediate stop. Had you not been paying attention, you probably would've rammed right into him.

"You done?" he asked. Dean clapped his brother on the shoulder.

"Oh, come on, Sam, give us a line!" He only shook his head in response as the two of you continued to poke fun at him.

"Shut up."

"That's a shame," you piped up. "He would've made a great Hamlet." As the younger Winchester turned away, you thought you caught him fighting a smile. When the three of you entered the auditorium, Dean shook his head with slight disgust.

"Okay, seriously, what could possibly-"

"Idjits!" The three of you turned in surprise. It had been a long time since you had heard that. The only person who ever called the boys that was... Bobby? A teenage girl turned around, dressed in a khaki fisherman's vest, a plaid button-up t-shirt, and a worn baseball hat. She even had on a fake beard to match Bobby's appearance. "You are idjits!" she continued. You turned to the boys with a question on your lips, but before you could say anything-

"Hey, assbutt!" Another girl further away held a fake molotov cocktail with sparkly angel wings, a trenchcoat, and an unmistakable blue tie.

"Do-" You were cut off once again as an urgent piano chorus began to play throughout the auditorium, effectively causing you and the boys to jolt in surprise.

"John and Mary, husband and wife. Bringing home a brand-new life.” Your attention was diverted to the stage, where what you were assuming what was supposed to be Sam and Dean's parents carried in a fake baby, placing it in a crib.

"No way," you breathed as you latched onto Sam's arm for support. You were in total shock as the musical number continued to go on. "Th-that's you!" you stammered, fighting the urge to point. Sam nodded tightly.

"I know," he replied.

"On the road so far. They met a woman on the way-” The teenage actress version of you came onto the stage with an impressive-looking fake shotgun. The weapon recoiled in her hands, and the fake werewolf collapsed to the ground. 

“And that’s me!” You remembered meeting the boys like it was yesterday, but seeing it acted out in front of you with such accuracy was surreal.

“When the boys were toast, she saved the day. Birds of a feather, now they hunt together. Teaming up to save the world.”

"Cut!" Suddenly, the music came to a stop, and a girl with a beret leaped to her feet in the front row.

"What in the h-holy..." Dean breathed.

"There is a case," Sam put in. "Probably has something to do with all this." How he was able to keep such a level head right now, you had no clue. You could barely think straight.

"You think?" Dean sassed. The girl with the beret came rushing up to the three of you with another girl at her side, and all traces of your conversation died.

"Are you guys from the publisher?" she asked excitedly. She didn't even wait to take a breath before continuing. "I'm Marie, the writer/director, this is Maeve, my stage manager, and..." Marie trailed off as you fished through your blazer pocket for your FBI badge. Before you could get it out, though, Sam placed an urgent hand on your arm, causing you to look up at the stage. No way. The three girls playing Sam, Dean, and you were all holding up fake badges to their counterparts.

"I'm Special Agent Smith," Sam introduced somewhat breathlessly. "These are my partners, Special Agent-"

"Jones," you filled in.

"Smith," Dean said. Two Smiths? You would have to remember to thank Dean for overcomplicating things later.

"No relation," Sam was quick to explain. "We're here to look into the appearance-"

"There's no singing in Supernatural!" Dean exclaimed. Biting back a sigh, you and Sam both shot Dean a look. So much for subtlety.

"Well, this is Marie's interpretation," Maeve said with a frown. Dean let out a sound that was a mixture of a strangled laugh and a groan.

"They're entitled to their creative vision," you justified before he could say anything else. "Just because you don't like that they made Supernatural into a musical doesn't mean that you have to-"

"Dean cannot find out about this." The words instantly clicked in your brain, and you totally lost track of what you had been saying. On the stage behind Marie and Maeve, the two actresses playing Sam and yourself were running lines. "He would never let us live it down." Sam's actress took your actress's hand, and you felt a blush rise to your cheeks.

"If Dean finds out, he can deal with it. We're all adults here. Besides, it's not like he's never slept with someone before." The teenage actress version of you shook her head.

"Yeah, Sam, but it's different this time! We're not just talking about sex between two random people. This is you and me that we're talking about here."

"Oh, God," was all you were able to say. That had happened a few years ago when you were still blissfully unaware that Chuck was writing and selling books about your life with the Winchesters. That moment, in particular, was supposed to be private. Sam caught your eye with an expression of horror that was incredibly similar to your own. Holy shit. Dean spluttered for a moment before he was finally able to get comprehensible words out. He looked at you with disbelief.

"You-" Thankfully, you were able to give him a discreet shake of your head before he totally blew your cover. "Y/N and Sam," he corrected himself, "are... together?"

"They're not together," you and Sam chimed in at the same time. The skin between Marie's eyebrows crinkled as she stared at you.

"What are you talking about?" she asked incredulously. "Y/N and Sam have been hooking up since book two. That's canon."

"Oh my God," you repeated miserably. You barely heard a word the boys said as they did the standard case questioning with Marie and Maeve. Meanwhile, you were more focused on how many of your intimate moments with Sam were going to be on stage.

"So, how 'bout you give the two of us a behind-the-scenes tour-" You tuned in just as Sam was gesturing between him and yourself. "-while your director shows my partner Mrs. Chandler's office. Deal?" The two girls nodded wordlessly. "Great. Give us a moment, please."

"Okay," Marie agreed. As the two of them made their way back down to the stage, you continued to stand there in stunned silence.

"I'm gonna throw up," Dean said. You nodded numbly.

"Seconded."

"Yeah, by the way, were you two ever gonna tell me about that?" he asked.

"No."

"Absolutely not." Both your and Sam's words came out in a jumble, and you glanced at the tall man sheepishly.

"Well, you heard the girl!" Dean said, throwing his hands up in the air. "It's 'canon!' So, is it still going on, or what?" You made a face at his question.

"Dean!" Sam scolded. Your entire lives were on display in musical form for the rest of the world to see, and he wanted to know if you were still sleeping with his brother?

"That can't seriously be what you're most concerned about right now," you huffed as you crossed your arms over your chest. Dean's eyes only got wider as he ignored your comment.

"Well?" he pressed on. "Is it?" You and the younger Winchester exchanged another wary glance. He clearly wasn't going to let it go until he got his answer.

"No!" you exclaimed. Dean arched an eyebrow disbelievingly. "I'm serious, Dean. Sam and I haven't hooked up in a long time." The oldest Winchester looked to his brother for verification.

"It's true," Sam confirmed. Dean shook his head somewhat manically.

"I can't believe this. Friggin' musicals," he started to mutter as he shuffled away. "Andrew Floyd Webber crap."

"Andrew Lloyd," Sam corrected. Dean turned around, making a face.

"What?" When you shook your head at him, he rolled his eyes and headed for the stage. When he was finally out of earshot, you let out a breath of relief.

"I think we're in the clear," you whispered. Sam watched his brother, who seemed to be coaching "Cas" on how to throw his molotov cocktail. What a dweeb. The younger Winchester's hand found its way to the small of your back.

"You really think he bought that?" he leaned down to murmur in your ear. You shrugged.

"I don't know," you admitted. "But maybe we should knock it off for a while just to be safe." Sam nodded.

"Agreed."

Thank you so much for reading!

As always, links to my masterlist, taglist, and inbox (requests are open!) are in my bio!

My Everythings:

@cole-winchester​ @alexwinchester23​ @1-am-made-of-stardust​ @thorukindig​ @fiftyshadesoffandom6783​ @hobby27​ @supernaturalenchanted​ @organicpurplepants​ @odysseyofasiren​ @defenderrosetyler​ @crystal-lilac​ @youshrimpdickfucknugget​

Sam Darlings:

@calaofnoldor​

[incomprehensiblelentils]

Lentils’ 2020 Christmas Movie Rankings

My wife and I watched a lot of Christmas movies this year, and I thought it would be fun to rank them based on which ones I think were most watchable and enjoyable. I’ve left out a few that we watched during this time period, which are classic Christmas movies (Miracle on 34th Street), action movies set at Christmas (Kiss Kiss Bang Bang and Iron Man 3), or older romances set around Christmas (While You Were Sleeping and You’ve Got Mail), because it’s not fair to rank these amongst, well, some of the movies we saw.

my top 5, for those of you who don’t like reading (which is fair): The Princess Switch: Switched Again, Dashing in December, The Princess Switch, Jingle Jangle, Happiest Season.

my top 3 Chaotic Christmas Movies: A New York Christmas Wedding, 12 Pups of Christmas, The Princess Switch: Switched Again. Please watch these movies if you enjoy chaotic plots. Please especially watch the first two I listed because holy shit my summaries do not properly convey the chaos.

The Princess Switch: Switched Again (2020): Some people on the internet have been VERY RUDE about this movie and I’m sorry they don’t appreciate a true chaotic holiday gem when they see it. This movie involves two Vanessa Hudgenses, Scheduled Vanessa and Spontaneous Vanessa, who are distant cousins and not twins, switching places to try to facilitate Spontaneous Vanessa getting back together with her ex the baker, but Scheduled Vanessa is intercepted by a third cousin Vanessa, Horny Vanessa, who wants to take Spontaneous Vanessa’s place as queen. I don’t want to spoil anything that happens in this movie so that you can experience the batshittery for yourself, but I found every second absolutely delightful. It also has two very good romantic couples who are cute and who genuinely seem to like each other, which is not something I can say for every movie on this list!

Dashing in December (2020): This movie has gay cowboys, is set on a ranch, and features a squaredancing scene, so if that isn’t your bag, you are probably not going to like it very much. I found it deeply charming and the only reason it isn’t #1 is that three quarters of the way through, the lead suddenly turns back into a giant jerk for no real reason and that was very upsetting. But it all works out in the end. The main romance is very cute, there are horses, the horsemanship doesn’t totally suck ass, and there are some fun side characters. It’s not reinventing the wheel, but it’s pleasant.

The Princess Switch (2018): Again, some people are mean about this movie and they shouldn’t be because it is CUTE GODDAMMIT. It is absolutely The Prince and the Pauper but with two Vanessa Hudgenses, but also, it shows the aforementioned two good romantic couples falling in love and they are delightful. I am not saying this is a great masterpiece of romance, but the filmmakers actually tried to give these characters reasons to like each other, which, again, is not true for some of the movies on this list.\

Jingle Jangle (2020): I kind of feel bad putting this movie on the same list as TV movies that were obviously just shit out by Hallmark or whoever, because this clearly had a lot of love and heart put into it, and it really shows. I was so immediately charmed by this movie that I didn’t even mind when it immediately went in very silly directions. I don’t know if the plot makes sense at all (a cute robot shows up for seemingly no reason other than that cute robots are fun!) but it doesn’t have to, because everyone is having so much fun and there’s so much joy in this movie that I was just happy to be along for the ride. Also, I would love to see an entire movie in the stop-motion style from the opening scene.

Happiest Season (2020): I absolutely understand why some people didn’t like this movie, and I don’t want anyone to feel like they can’t dislike it, and also, it’s MY movie, and I love it, and I’m not interested in fighting about it. It helped me come out to my parents and also featured two of my faves kissing and that’s all I need. 

Noelle (2019): I was previously under the impression this movie was bad, and I don’t know why, because it’s a little embarrassing and cheesy at times, but it’s sweet. I suspect what will make or break it for you is if you like Anna Kendrick, and because I like Anna Kendrick, I like watching her play a neurotic Claus sibling trying desperately to fix the problem she accidentally caused. One weird thing though: this movie tried to convince me about halfway through that she was both spoiled and selfish, and I don’t actually think that’s true at all. I think she was a little naive and sheltered and wanted people to like her way too much, but she’s not really shown to be a selfish person - she’s constantly paying attention to other people in the real world and her brother is the one who refused to admit that he wasn’t cut out for the Santa gig and instead fucked off to “find himself” or whatever. It was weird! But anyway, I liked this movie a lot.

I’ll Be Home For Christmas (1998): So this movie...one Christmas Eve when I was in high school, I was having trouble falling asleep for whatever reason so I went downstairs to get some water. My mom happened to have the TV on and this movie was just starting, and she invited me to join her. Fun fact: this movie went to theaters and it stars Jonathan Taylor-Thomas and Jessica Biel. It is one of the dumbest movies I’ve ever seen in my life and at no point does anyone in it actually behave like a human being. It’s about a smooth-talking jackass who has to be bribed to come home for Christmas and then, after one of his dumbass moneymaking schemes lands him in hot water, he gets abandoned in the middle of the California desert wearing a Santa suit and glued-on beard. He then has to beg, lie, and cheat his way home for Christmas dinner so that his dad will give him a vintage Porsche they fixed up together. I have no defense for this character; he is insufferable and only becomes marginally less so by the end of the film. But also, I have to watch this movie every year (usually with my mom, although not this year for obvious reasons) or it doesn’t feel like Christmas. 

A Cinderella Story: Christmas Wish (2019): We own this on DVD and have seen it three times. In our defense, we wanted to support Gregg Sulkin from Runaways and Isabella Gomez from One Day at a Time, both of whom feature prominently in this movie, and also sing songs. This is just Cinderella But At Christmas, and if that doesn’t sound like fun to you, I don’t think anything I can say will change your mind. I will say that the songs are amusingly autotuned, there’s a disabled dog that’s very cute, and I personally think that the leads have slightly better chemistry than some of the pairs on this list. But it is literally just another Cinderella Story movie.

The Knight Before Christmas (2019): This movie is Thor (2011) But At Christmas, and it would have been slightly higher except I always forget about the plot where at the end the knight becomes a cop. Bad, obviously! But anyway, the plot of this movie is: nice but clueless dude crash-lands on Earth for Reasons and bumbles around trying to figure out what’s up, while falling in love with a nice lady. That’s just Thor and you know I’m right. And for as dumb as this movie is, at least it’s ambitious. I have learned that Christmas movies can do one of two things to please me: a) have actors that have decent chemistry and charm and are fully committed to whatever nonsense is going on, or b) have absolutely batshit chaotic plots. This movie is like a 4 out of 5 on the chaos scale and I like it a lot, besides the copaganda. I hope this also gets made into a trilogy and Cole isn’t a cop anymore.

A Christmas Prince 3: The Royal Baby (2019): I will get into my problems with the first two Christmas Prince movies later, but my main criticism is that they are kind of boring and not chaotic enough. This one decided to make up for that by incorporating a missing ancient treaty, a curse, and a ghost, as well as a subplot about Girl Power (I use this semi-ironically) and a subplot about cousin Simon potentially committing treason again. I was so excited that things were happening in this movie the first time I watched it that I may be a little biased, but oh well. Oh, I was also absolutely terrified it was going to be racist and it is...mostly not? There are a few questionable moments but like mostly it’s fine.

Christmas With the Prince (2018): I wanted to watch this because the summary on Netflix did not match the summary on Google at all, and that’s because, uh, they’re both sort of right? Ostensibly this movie is about a pediatric oncologist who comes back into contact with an old almost-flame, who just happens to be the prince of a tiny European country, because he fucked up his leg and needs somewhere private to stay. And apparently a pediatric oncology ward is the best place for that? But then after they fall in love this random Russian lady shows up and is like “that’s my fiance.” This happens maybe twenty minutes from the end. Anyway, this movie isn’t great but I liked the lead guy way more than I thought I would and it has some cute kids in it.

A New York Christmas Wedding (2020): I...am at a loss for words to describe this...motion picture. On the surface it is a cute idea: a young Black woman, Jennifer, is getting married to her boyfriend on Christmas Eve, but she’s given a chance by her guardian angel (stay with me) to go back in time and redo her life, after losing touch with her childhood best friend, Gabrielle, who she was always in love with but never confessed her feelings to. She wakes up in an alternate timeline, where she and Gabrielle have been together for years and her beloved father is still alive. Then the movie, uh...veers off into some very odd places! They go to their Catholic priest and ask him to marry them, and he is like “but the Bible” and they are like “but that’s bullshit” and he’s like “shrug” and then later during a sermon he’s like “actually that IS bullshit, everyone gay in this church come stand up here with me. We love you. Also we’re going to perform a wedding now” and then he marries Jennifer and Gabrielle. And then Jennifer’s angel shows up and is like “you have to choose between this life and your old life now” and then uh...I really hate to spoil this next thing. It is the weirdest choice I’ve ever seen a movie make and if you’re even the slightest bit interested in this movie, I think you should experience this plot point for yourself. I’m going to put the batshit spoiler in ROT13 in case you want to avoid spoiling yourself. (GJ: fhvpvqr) Wraavsre'f thneqvna natry erirnyf gung ur vf gur fba bs Tnoevryyr, jub va gur bevtvany gvzryvar tbg certanag nf n grra naq ure snzvyl frag ure gb n ahaarel. Fur zvfpneevrq naq fhofrdhragyl qvrq ol fhvpvqr. Uvf anzr vf Nmenry Tnovfba. Anyway, uh, this movie isn’t very good, unfortunately, the adult leads have no chemistry and Gabrielle’s adult self is actively unlikable (the teen versions of them are cute!), but I think it’s 1000% worth a watch for the sheer chaos of it all. I...recommend it for that, I guess? Oh, also there’s a sex scene that plays a slow sexy version of “O Christmas Tree” in the background and I felt like I was losing my mind. 

A Christmas Prince: The Royal Wedding (2018): As I said in my commentary on the third movie in this series, the worst sin this movie commits is being kind of boring. It also manages to make the romantic hero, Richard, even worse than in the first movie, where he was just kind of useless and petulant, because in this movie he is actively failing to do anything to revive the failing economy of his country. I have seen people complain that the prince in The Princess Switch and Cole in The Knight Before Christmas have no personalities; they are delightful compared to the wet paper bag of a man in this movie. Rose McIver is adorable and I don’t think any of this is her fault, she’s doing her best in these movies, but woof.

12 Pups of Christmas (2019): The Google summary of this movie, which we found on Hulu, is this: “Struggling to keep his dog GPS locator company afloat, Martin expects his new hire, Erin, to help him save the company and find homes for 12 puppies that were left behind after a photo shoot. As they work together, Erin and Martin begin to discover each other's positive qualities and find love just in time for the holidays.” My wife and I love dogs, so we put this on, expecting cute dogs. This movie contains approximately 80% chaos and 20% cute dogs. It opens with our heroine, a canine therapist, coming home from work to have dinner with her fiance and best friend. We find out that Erin and fiance are moving to California soon for her new job (they live in New York). Fast forward a few days to their courthouse wedding, at which point her fiance and best friend confess to having an affair, and she is dumped. Heartbroken, she moves to California alone, and ends up moving into the company-provided house. It is just a two-story house (??) that the CEO’s sister owns (???) and rents out to employees (????). Also Erin is, as the Google summary says, expected to come up with some grand idea to save the company. And there are 12 random puppies also. They are cute puppies. Oh, also Martin, the CEO of the dog collar company, hates dogs for some reason. Martin’s sister is aggressively friendly towards Erin in a way that I interpreted as sapphic. At one point, after they find a home for dog #3, Erin’s former BFF shows up on her doorstep (?????) begging to be let in. She insists that the fiance was also two-timing her, and she has proof that he had FIVE OTHER GIRLFRIENDS ALL AROUND THE COUNTRY - “that’s why he’s a traveling businessman”!!!! Erin never asks to see her proof, but I guess she believes her, because she lets her inside and then makes her take care of the remaining eight dogs out of spite. I guess they make up at some point. Anyway, somewhere in here Erin and Martin are starting to fall in love and also come up with a way to rebrand the business, so hooray for them. We also learn that the reason Martin hates dogs is that his beloved childhood dog, uh, ran away? Disappeared? Got eaten? He insists that “not knowing [what happened to him] was the worst part,” but I was out here expecting to see the child finding an actual dead dog like it’s John Wick or something so this was a little anticlimactic. They go on a business trip to New York talk with Important Japanese Investors, during which they fuck (it is? romantic? allegedly?), and then the morning of their meeting Erin’s shitty ex shows up in the hotel lobby to bother her. Martin decks him square in the face for not leaving her alone, and then someone calls the cops, because I guess this movie said ACAB, and both dudes get arrested and Erin has to do the presentation alone. And then in the last five minutes Martin gets out of jail and Erin says that she gave the presentation to the investors...in English, and their translator was twenty minutes late, and so the investors understood none of what she said. Thankfully we are spared actually seeing this “joke,” but they do play racist music over her explanation. Then Martin reconnects with his rich dad who bails out the company instead, and also he adopts the four remaining dogs. This movie was fucking bananas and very bad and I need more people to understand exactly how bad. Watch this movie.

A Nutcracker Christmas (2016): Amy Acker has two Christmas movies and this one seemed more palatable than Dear Santa, so here we are. I like to watch Amy Acker be cute and dance, and she has an adorable teenage niece in this movie that she’s helped raise. In this movie she’s a former ballet dancer whose sister (hilariously, one of the Wynonna Earp lesbians) died in a tragic car accident, and she never got to dance the part of the Sugarplum Fairy. Spoiler alert: she gets to by the end of the movie. Unfortunately the love interest is basically Satan incarnate and does not deserve her at all, so unless you like yelling at romantic leads I can’t really recommend it. 

Godmothered (2020): This movie is just, uh, Enchanted but worse, and also it should have been sapphic and it isn’t? Poor Jillian Bell is doing her best and is adorable, but it’s not enough to save this movie for me. If Disney were not cowards she would have fallen in love with single mom Isla Fisher. Oh, it also ends with the very white younger daughter doing a public cover of “Rise Up” by Andra Day that the audience joins in on, which, considering its use in the BLM movement the last couple years, felt, uh, not great to me.

A Christmas Prince (2017): It’s maybe not far to compare this to the rest of the Netflix Christmas Cinematic Universe, because it was the originator. But also, it’s pretty boring. Sorry. Simon, or Fiddles (Fake Hiddles/Tom Hiddleston) is the best character.

Married by Christmas (2016): Apparently an alternate title for this is The Engagement Clause, which is sort of funny. Anyway, this has Jes Macallan and we, being big fans of Legends of Tomorrow, lost our shit when we found this on Christmas Day and had to watch it. The plot is that Jes’ character runs the family business, but their shitty grandma died and left a clause in her will where the business goes to the husband of whichever granddaughter gets married first. You would think that Jes’ sister and her fiance would postpone their Christmas Eve wedding to give Jes time to set up some kind of platonic wedding for business purposes, since Jes’ entire life is this stupid business, but nope, they immediately turn into monsters who are determined to get their hands on the business for ???? reasons???? It’s not very good, as you can tell by how low it is on the list. Jes Macallan is not a convincing straight businesswoman. I wouldn’t even really enjoy this movie as an Avalance AU.

A Princess for Christmas (2011): Here we are, the worst one Christmas movie I watched this year. I don’t actively harbor any ill will towards Katie McGrath, although I confess to feeling a bit “her?” but it’s fine. I was hoping this movie would enlighten me to her appeal. Instead, this movie actively got on my nerves in multiple ways, including trying to pass Katie McGrath off as a normal American retail worker instead of an Irish vampire/sorceress/supervillain/fairy/whatever she is. Her accent is shockingly awful, which I’m not sure is actually her fault, is there a reason her family wasn’t just British? That wouldn’t have saved the movie but it would have made it just slightly more palatable. At every turn it makes the worst choices, including a scene where Katie’s character puts on a rap song and she and the prince dance to it in an attempt to show them “loosening up,” and then the mean grandfather comes in and demands that they “turn this ghetto music off.” YIKES. I know these movies are the whitest movies ever by design but was that racism necessary? The only Black people I actually saw in this movie were some of the servants, I think? Speaking of the servants, at the end of the movie there’s a grand ball and Katie’s dress gets fucked up, and she’s about to leave the country, and then the servants are like “don’t go! We pooled our money to buy you another nice dress!” which, also yikes! This movie has a real classism problem. It also was so boring I zoned out of it multiple times, and I have sat through Manos: The Hands of Fate and Birdemic multiple times. This movie has no chaos whatsoever and I hated all the characters. 0/10 do not recommend under any circumstances.

[sincerelyreidburke]

Can you tell us more about Reid and Bri? Like their dynamic and maybe how they got together??

Toby, have I mentioned lately that I appreciate you??? Yes, I can absolutely say more about them— I love Reid and Bri, and they’ve sort of become my token wholesome long-term M/F couple in this OC-verse. (I would say they’re the “token straights,” but since Reid is bi, that’s not even true. The actual token straights are Maggie and her boyfriend, but I haven’t introduced him yet, and he doesn’t even go to Kiersey, so... okay, anyway.)

Yes. Thank you. The Kiersey-verse means that I can elaborate on things I would’ve felt self-conscious talking about before, and for that I am very grateful.

Let’s hop under the cut and I’ll tell you how Reid and Bri met, and some stuff about their dynamic, et cetera. (And as a general note, you can always ask me anything about my OCs!)

SO. Reid and Bri. We’ve seen them together in a fic once, but it was this prologue, from Sp*ncer’s perspective, and poor Bri only got to say, like, one line. Reid on his own is someone we’ve seen a lot more extensively, at least in comparison to Bri. He’s become a heavy player in all things to do with Quinn’s freshman year theatre experience, but he’s also come up in other places now— like this ficlet where you get a glimpse into his friendship with Cole.

So there’s that. We know Reid. We know he has a girlfriend. I will now rewind back to their freshman year and tell you how they met.

First of all, Reid is from Wisconsin and Bri is from Missouri, which I guess isn’t crucial for you to know but just felt like information I should provide. They didn’t know each other before college, obviously. When they get to Kiersey, they don’t meet right away; I think they wind up meeting around halfway through the fall semester of their first year, or maybe even later than that?

The way they meet goes like this. I think the drama club likes hiring art students to help design their sets, and that year, for the fall production, they need a backdrop painted. Bri isn’t a theatre person in the strict sense of knowing much about drama, but she did help paint sets in high school because she was an art kid, and she had the drama teacher for English class, and probably got recruited. When she sees a flyer on campus advertising help wanted, and learns that they’ll pay her to do it, she signs up and winds up painting for them.

Reid is in the fall play that year, because he pretty much dives right into the drama club as soon as he’s on campus. Freshman Reid is a hilarious thing to imagine, because he wasn’t a leader yet but definitely still was a ham who loved to make people laugh and attract attention.

So Bri is painting the set onstage, with probably at least a few other people helping with sets, and Reid is headed into the theater to, I don’t know, pick something up or maybe just to mess around, and he comes into the house being super obnoxious (he’s probably singing something), and then—

Reid walking down the aisle in the theater: tonight the SUPER TROOPER lights are gonna find me SHINING LIKE THE SUN— (notices there are people onstage doing something) Oh, shit— sorry, Art Students!!!!!!!!

In the end, Reid goes up and starts obnoxiously interviewing the Art Students, and that is how he strikes up a conversation with Bri. He thinks she’s cute, and so he starts flirting, and he’s funny so she kind of digs it, and by the time someone chases him away because Reid they’re making the set and they need to concentrate, he’s dead set on seeking out this Art Student (yes, he did learn her name during that interaction) because she’s cute and he wants to keep talking to her.

He winds up showing up for the next set-making session, and by the end of that, he has her number. The rest, my friends, is history. They date all through college, and I told you about how he tries to break up with her during his angsty self-deprecation hours in their post-college life (if you’re confused, click here), but on their general dynamic.........

Reid loves Bri because she’s creative and compassionate and free-spirited, and Bri loves Reid because he’s authentic and caring and he makes her laugh. This is a broad over-simplification, but you get the picture. They’re very mutually supportive of each other— she goes to his theatre shows, and he goes to her art shows...... and yes, obviously there’s more to a relationship than supporting each other’s hobbies, but I think because they’re both art types, that’s an important thing for them.

Reid’s entire life is like, *Bri does something* THAT’S MY GIRLFRIEND!!!!!!!!!!

Anytime any minor inconvenience happens in my life, I keep saying, you know who wouldn’t treat me like this? Reid Burke. And it’s now a meme among certain individuals who shall remain anonymous in this post, but it’s true, because Reid is a really fantastic boyfriend. His number one mission in life is to make Bri smile, and he absolutely succeeds at it.

Bri feels a little like she needs to keep track of his chaos sometimes, and thus refers to watching Reid at parties as “boyfriend-sitting.” Drunk Reid is harmless; he goes from wanting to start a rave to wanting to do nothing but cuddle Bri and tell his friends he loves them in about three seconds flat.

Drunk Reid: I fucKING love you Jhiron

More sober Jhiron: fuck off

Drunk Reid: :’) he loves me too

Uhhhh......... what else. I can’t remember where I said this, but they wind up having three children. Reid definitely passes his sense of humor down to them. I cannot express how important laughter is as Reid’s love language.

Bri is straight, and we know that he’s bi. She’s a great ally. Also her parents hate him. LOL. They think he’s a bum who’s never going to get a job. It’s a good thing he proves them wrong.

Hm. At Kiersey, they get breakfast together every morning; it’s their thing, which is why you saw them having breakfast in the dining hall in that one Sp*ncer fic. Now don’t mind me while I cry imagining them cooking breakfast for their kids. Why am I emotional?

I can... write something with them, if there is demand for that? You guys know the drill; I’m always open to your ideas and suggestions. And also, thank you, Toby, for asking. I don’t really play favorites with characters, but Reid has a special place in my heart.

[ninja-go-to-therapy]

Tiny Little Mistake

Enter our star, stage left. Oh, and that dickwad of a props guy.

BROADWAY AU BROADWAY AU

Trigger Warnings: I think panic attack needs a tw? Not sure but just being safe

1111 words

“Alright, that was great! Take 60 for lunch, guys.”

Asher couldn’t deny that it was a little weird to be congratulated on a good run from the confines of a small, uncomfortable cage, but out of everything in this show, it was far from the oddest thing he’d experienced.

“One second,” Hunter said, walking over and reaching for the fake lock to let him out. He frowned, jiggling it. “That’s weird...” he muttered.

“Dude, just let me out,” Asher said, laughing a little. If this was Hunter’s idea of a prank, well, it wasn’t a very good one.

“I’m trying,” Hunter said, jiggling the lock again. “It’s stuck or something. Wait...” he squinted at the lock, his frown deepening. “This isn’t the prop lock.”

“Okay, haha, super funny, just let me out.”

“I’m not joking! This is a real lock.”

Asher swallowed, laughing nervously. Surely Hunter was just trying to scare him. It was totally something he would do. There was no way he was actually stuck in here.

“Alright, it’s not funny anymore, just open the door,” Asher said, rattling the door somewhat similarly to how he would as Cole.

They were alone on the stage, now. 

“Asher, this lock is literally not coming undone.”

Oh shit. He was serious.

“I’m gonna go grab someone to help,” Hunter said, standing.

“Hey, wait, don’t just leave me in here!” Asher yelled, but Hunter was already running backstage.

Okay. It was fine. He’d been in here plenty of times, this wasn’t that different.

Except now he was actually, legitimately trapped. Completely alone. He was never actually, truly alone. 

Was it usually this hot in the theater? He wiped his palms against his pants, exhaling shakily.

It was so much smaller when it was actually locked.

What was taking Hunter so long?

Deep breaths, the cage was definitely not closing in on him, nope, it was just a regular day on set and any minute someone was going to come in and get him out.

His controlled breaths turned to quick, harsh ones. Tears pushed at his eyes, but there was absolutely no reason to cry, he would be out before he knew it.

The silence was too loud and suddenly he knew exactly how Cole felt. No wonder he lost his mind so fast.

“Someone help!” He yelled, rattling the cage door to the best of his ability. “Please!”

He squeezed his eyes shut, a tear rolling down his cheek. Why the hell was he crying? This was fine, he was fine, he was in here all the time, this wasn’t that different.

His throat closed up and his breaths were ugly and urgent.

“Let me out,” he begged to nobody, squeezing the thin metal between his hands and wincing at the pain. A few more tears fell.

Fuck, he probably looked pathetic.

A door shut, echoing through the otherwise empty theater. Craning his neck, Asher could just barely see one of the prop guys approaching.

“Please get me out of here,” he said, shame burning him. There had never been a reason to cry at all, he’d just been overreacting.

The guy looked at him for a long moment.

“Why should I?”

Asher was... confused, at that. “What?” He asked, wiping a stray tear away.

“What, does the little broadway brat need help? Too bad.”

“What are you — please, get me out of here, it’s too — I’m stuck!” Asher stammered, his panic returning just as quickly as it had vanished.

“I know,” the guy nodded, “Funny how much damage a tiny little mistake can do.” Asher didn’t know, and quite frankly didn’t care, how the lock had been switched for a real one until about right now. Now, he had a very strong guess.

Asher hated himself for being on the verge of crying again. The tears hadn’t even fully stopped from the first time around, and he was doing all he could to stop from breaking down again.

“Well would you look at that. A pathetic little kid breaking down in a cage. You’re perfect for the part.”

Asher glared at him through the tears, doing his best to wipe his face on his sleeve. It didn’t accomplish much.

The guy kneeled down. “What’s the matter, pet?”

And Asher couldn’t have said how or why or anything to pinpoint it, but that, that was what pushed him over the edge.

He let out a pathetic sob, praying to God that someone was going to get him out of this horrible tiny prison.

The first thing he was going to do would be to get this bastard fired.

He hardly even noticed that said bastard was recording Asher’s entire breakdown.

It was, after all, hard to see through blinding tears.

“—nd then I went to grab you and your bolt cutter.”

Hunter! Hunter was back! And from the sound of it, he’d brought someone who hadn’t completely lost their goddamn mind!

Just before the two rounded the corner, the guy shot forward, fiddling with the lock.

“Let’s get you out of there,” he said, his voice dripping with fake concern. It didn’t sound all too fake, but Asher wasn’t stupid.

“Oh, good, you already found someone to help you!” Hunter said, sounding relieved.

“What? No! I—”

“If you tell them,” the guy growled in a quiet enough tone that only Asher could hear, “I’ll leak that video of you having your little panic attack.”

The thought that should have run through Asher’s head: it could be easily explained by saying it was just him getting into character.

The thought that did run through Asher’s head: he did not want people to see him like... well, like this. His whole face was stinging, his eyes were red and puffy, no doubt, there were marks on his hands from pressing so hard against the metal... the list went on. 

The point was, he was pathetic. And he didn’t want the world to know.

“Yeah,” Asher said as the lock finally came off, crawling out of the cage shamefully. “Yeah, I found someone to help.”

“How did you get the lock open?” Hunter asked, looking back to the guy with the bolt cutters. 

“The combo was written on the back.”

“...oh.”

Asher felt really stupid, now.

“Ash, are you okay?” Hunter asked, helping him to stand.

“Yeah,” Asher said, wiping his face with the hem of his shirt. “I just sort of panicked, sorry.”

“Let’s get you back to your dressing room,” Hunter said, turning back to the two techies. “Thanks for getting him out, guys.”

Asher had a feeling he was going to regret staying silent about what had actually happened.