#i remember whenever i used to listen to them at work my bosses would be like “oh. this takes me back.”

[sciderman]

song of the day (for no other reason than for the eggshaped boy)

hje is eggshaped (and he makes me happy) (ergo, happiness is eggshaped)

[pynkgothicka]

Inspired by one of your reblogged posts..

I really want to see dark! misogynistic Jason Todd with a somewhat innocent! girlfriend. He was so sweet to her until they started dating; Now he just can't be bothered with her. He consults his friends about it on COD, or some other incel hangout, and they advise him to put reader in her place.

He comes home one day to reader laying in bed on her phone and he just can't seem to control himself. He's spewing out degrading thoughts, about how he's just so sweet to her and all she can do is complain, and not even be grateful that Jason's using his precious time to breed and lay his claim her needy cunt. Using and absolutely destroying her like the plaything she is.

(also, can i be 🐢 anon? i feel like I'll be returning to you for a while.. i love ur work!)

Ｉｍａｇｉｎｉｎｇ ＪＳＴ

Pairing - Dark! Misogynistic! Incel! Jason Todd x Innocent! Girlfriend! AFAB! Reader

Featuring - Rest of the Batboys

Tags and Warnings - Incel behavior, noncon, name calling, misogyny, medication, gaslighting, degrading, abuse, violence against oc/reader

Authors Note - Back tew my roots!!!! And ofc I would love to finally have anons!! Also sorry this took eons-

A friendly reminder that all my works are dark fanfiction! Please if you do not like that do not read them! These depictions don't pertain to reality. This is your final warning before hitting the keep reading button!!

Jason watched you in your shared small apartment. He couldn't figure out what went wrong between the two of you. It started whenever he moved in. Jason was never so used to having somewhere there 24/7.

You were just so needy and particular.

“Jason? Baby… what do you want for dinner tonight?” You ask coming to sit by him. Your hands ran over his arm and kissing at his visable scars. Jason pulled away from you, the feeling making his skin tingle.

He watched as your face fell and you sigh before getting up and grabbing your purse. “I'm going grab something to eat tonight. Please remember to take your medicine.” You say heading to the door and leaving.

“I don't need them.” Jason replied quickly looking at you as you straightened up the living room before leaving. “I told you about reminding me to do shit.”

Jason watched as you just sighed again. “I tell you because I want you to be better baby. I don't want to keep doing things alone, I just want us to be better.” You said doting once again, keeping your sweet nature with Jason. But he only saw that as pity and he hated it. He hissed before rolling his eyes and getting up, the couch going back by his sheer strength. “I don't care what's for dinner. Just get out.”

💭

“I don't know what to do with her. She's just so fucking annoying.” Jason rambles into his microphone. He was playing COD with some online friends. One of his friends, N1ghtVV1ng laughs into his own mic.

“Well what is she doing huh? My girl treats me just right, and even allows me to fuck whenever I want.” He taunts. Jason rolled his eyes at his friends comments. “And she's so tight, god I trained her right.”

“Dude that's so gross.” RedRobinYum, another one of his friends said.

“Well, she just keeps bothering me. Then whenever I try to ask for something she just reminds me to take my meds.” Jason sneered. “Its the same shit, all these dumb questions. I just want her to stay with me and not bug me.”

“Well have you tried putting her in her place? Show her what you want from her.” DamitheBest says. Jason hummed at that suggestion.

“She's just so fragile, I'm afraid she might bre-”

“Get that shit out of your mind now.” Dami says. “Show her who's the boss before she does. Women will kick you to the curb and leave you for someone who'll tolerate that shit they pull.”

“Literally don't listen to these freaks, sit down and talk to her.” RedRobin chimes in. “With any relationship just talk it out, trust me I do that with my partner and we just talk everything out.”

Jason could hear Dami make a buzzer noise that almost broke his mic. “Nope, don't listen to him. Red, he's gotta put his foot down. Cut out any disobedience from his girl.”

Jason looked down at that, the thought of hurting you almost sickeningly turned him on. Dami was right and had always been. Jason just needed to man up and confront you.

💭

“What are you doing?”

You turn around from your spot on the bed too see Jason, standing in the doorway. You smile before getting back on your phone, his voice making you feel better that he's still around.

Yet majority of the time, Jasons voice always brought you a sense of worry and hurt. Worrying so much for and about him made you into someone who barely cared for yourself. It was always Jason, and everything you did was for him.

“Nothing really, I'm just kind of bored.” You reply. Jason stares at you, face blank. His eyes leered at your body as you just so casually laid down. Almost as if just waiting for you to say something. Anything.

“Your not going to bug me to take my meds?” Jason practically spat out. You turned around moving to where you sat on the bed. “Not gonna ask me to take out the trash, help around the apartment?

You furrow your brows. “What? Why are you talking to me like that?” You asked looking at him. “I- What did I do?”

“You dont like it when someone stands against you?” He replied completely ignoring your question. Everything about Jason's words and demeanor frightened you. It was like he genuinely hated you.

You stood up walking towards him slowly. “Jay… it's okay. I think you're having a episode…” You say keeping your voice low. Jason's chest came up and down as he kept getting more and more enraged. You reached out a hand to touch his arm, but Jason pushed you away. Your lower back hit the vanity you both built when you moved in.

“You think I'm having a episode?! Of course you do, you don't just think I'm pissed?” He replied moving to tower over you. You put a hand on the vanity to stand back up. Your chest heaved as your lungs tried to keep up with your heart. You pushed past him leaving through the bedroom door.

Back burning, you looked for your keys. “I'm done with this, all I want is what's best for you. But you've treated me like shit, and I'm done with it.” You said seeing reaching for your keys.

But they were picked up and thrown across the room.

Jason pushed your head against your kitchen island. You groaned out and began to thrash around. Jason snarled at you, keeping you detained.

Hr laughed in your face and seemingly just waited for you to calm down. “I like it when your quiet.” He said leaning down to kiss the back of your head. Your breathing shuddered as you began to cry quietly. Jason reveled in your weakness a hand resting on the back of your neck, the other on your back.

“What did I do Jason … What did I do so wrong…?” You said, your words breaking with your own tears.

“Get on my nerves… I'm such a good boyfriend, yet all you do is complain. I'm sick of that, so I'm going to change it.” Then you feel Jason's arm brush against you as he reached for the kitchen scissors. “Stay still, unless you want to get hurt. I could care either less.” He said as he took the scissors to your shirt. Cutting down the fabric, leaving you exposed as you chose not to wear a bra.

Starting to kick at Jason again, flipping around to try and get away. That attempt was failed, as Jason took your throat in hand, slamming your head back onto the counter. Your vision blurred on impact as he took off your shirt completely. The impact made you dizzy and start to become unaware. Jason saw that, and quickly took advantage of it, kissing at your neck.

He was going to get himself off.

It was what you owed him.

His kisses trailed down to your stomach, tongue dipping into every dip in your skin. You let out dazed cries as tears poured down your cheek. “You've always been so gorgeous. Don't you see how good you could have it?” Jason commented quietly as he pulled down your sweatpants along with your panties. He blew on your cunt, watching just how wet you became at his actions. “Do I have to keep beating you for you to keep still.”

Biting at your bottom lip to hold back tears you shake your head. He smiled as you shivered from his breathing. Jason pushed his head into your cunt, lapping at your exposed pussy. You bit at your bottom lip, trying to stay quiet. You couldn't give him that satisfaction, just once you wanted to be stronger than what you actually were. But Jason knew you, his hand coming down on your ass, making you yelp out. “Stop that, I want to hear you.” He said into your cunt as he continued to eat you out.

But Jason is Jason.

And Jason is selfish.

He only eats you out close enough to make you cum. He pulls away with the bottom half of of his face coated in your juices. You grabbed at the counter top, full on sobbing. “Please… Jay. Stop we can ta-” Jason's hand came crashing down next to your head, the sound of tile making you cry out more.

“You had your chance. You had multiple chances to talk, but you didn't. So now I'm putting you in your place.” He said, ignoring any protests you had. You could hear him undo his pants, the taunting noise of his zipper making your cries only louder. A dribble of spit hits your cunt, Jason's palm coming down to rub at your cunt. “Now shhh, while you take this dick.”

You let out a yell as Jason pushes his length all the way into you. He sits there, breathing heavy and labored.

His eyes stayed fixated on your pussy, swallowing his cock. He pulled out then pushed back in, your walls clamping on his length. His groans were deep as he took no time for you to adjust, fucking into you. Your body shook and shuddered as he held you down, using you for his own pleasure.

“You're so pretty like this,” Jason said his body pounding into your own. You continued to whimper under him, feeling your body become weak. His hand tangled in the mess he had made of your hair, using his strength to pull you up. “You need to be like this all the time, then I wouldn't have to deal with a bitch for a girlfriend.” He snickered into your ear. He said it like it was a threat, or a suggestion you couldn't turn down.

So you nodded in agreeance, his smile turning wicked as he fucked into you. You could feel his hips stutter as he reached his peak. Jason's hand moved to your clit as he rubbed at your bud. “You better cum with me or I'll keep raping this cunt.” That quickly snapped you back to reaily. The realization of needing to end the abuse he put you through, you tried feeling pleasure from the trauma he was putting you through.

Then you feel it. The feeling of you cumming alongside your cunt getting filled. You let out a choked gasp, Jason groaning as he filled you to the brim. His hand grabbed at your ass as he hissed. He pulled out watching as a dribbles of his cum dropped from your abused cunt. He quickly pushed it back into you with two thick fingers. Jason snickered before pulling up his boxers, leaving his jeans on the ground.

“Clean up in here, I'm getting back on the game.”

Let me know through a dm or ask to be included in my official Taglist- @darkuni63 @fangirl-death-rose @captainengineer-trixie @chimmisbae @iloverubberduckiez-blog @mageprincess7 @looneybleus @whipwhoops

[holybibly]

two words. CEO Yeosang.

imagine this: you’re a secretary/personal assistant to a cold CEO who’s beauty is ethereal. you have these thoughts of all the things he would do to you.

one day while in the break room you and your friend were talking about mindless things when the topic of your boss came up. the immediate thought of him made you instantly flush with all the fantasy’s.

little did you know that your boss overheard you guys talking and decided to tease you from then on.

“come here bunny ride my thigh while i work. i see how you look at me there’s no hiding how you feel bunny”

god this man has complete control over my brain.

question; if you call us your bunnies then what do we call you? i would like to say as someone who is a submissive through and through whenever you call us bunnies my brain goes like this: (*^◯^*)

For all bunnies! Unholy Hours is always open, you can send requests at any time.

You're not the only one asking this, do you have any idea what you want to call me, my darlings? You can tell me and then we'll do a poll and pick something.

Hmm, what should I do with this naughty bunny, a? Should I punish you or maybe praise you, tell me baby.

"Mr. Kang, oh God, Oh please." You squealed with a roll of your eyes in pleasure. You were supposed to be quieter, but how the hell could you be when Yeosang was being so ruthless in his efforts to drive you crazy?

Your thighs trembled uncontrollably as his hand viciously slapped your pussy; the wet, squelching sound was too loud in the spacious office of Kang Yeosang, the CEO of Blue Bird Incorporated. My God, how did you end up in a position like this in the first place? You didn't even have time to analyse the situation before you were under the caress of his long fingers.

Your hand was tangled in his soft, long hair, pulling at the strands with a light tug. With little thought of the need for silence, you moaned louder than before.

"The whole office must be listening to you by now, you little bitch. I thought I told you to keep your voice down, Miss Moon. What are your colleagues going to think when they find out that you are not only my secretary but my fuck toy as well? Will they respect you?" To be honest, you didn't really care about the fucking respect, especially when Yeosang's tongue started to circle around your clit, drawing different patterns. Is it worth it to remember this man's talent now to turn his tongue 180 degrees?

As your legs try to close around his head to hold him in place, you inadvertently grind your cunt against his angelically handsome face. In fact, you thought Yeosang's place was there, his face just begging to be smothered in pussy. Your toes curl in pleasure as you come with a loud scream, tears rolling down your cheeks and smearing your perfect make-up when he doesn't stop his merciless assault on your sensitive clit.

"Mr. Kang, Yeosang Fuck, this is too much."

He moaned into your pussy as you tugged and pulled at his hair, the plush walls of your cunt clenching around his fingers as you tried to keep them inside of you. He inserted a third finger inside you and began to move it at a steady, hard pace, your head jerking back. Your hips are pressed hard against his face, earning you a sharp slap on the cunt that makes you let out a loud whimper.

Yeosang grips your hips tightly to stop you from moving. But it does little as your legs lock around his neck.

"Yeosang, please stop. This is too much." Your back arched as he bit down on the inside of your thighs and looked at you with his eyes half-closed. How can everyone in the office have the impression that he's an adorable puppy when he fucks like this?

"Too much? Do I need to remind you, Miss Moon, that you have been an attention-seeking slut?" Your cunt clenched around his fingers at the titillating insult, and he grinned as he continued to slap you. Yeosang just chuckled as he made you squirt profusely, your juices spilling all over his perfectly ironed shirt, causing it to cling up next to his body. He watched as your body writhed in pleasure, orgasming violently, instinctively moving your hips to match his movements, and fucking yourself on his fingers.

"I didn't know you liked being insulted, Miss Moon. Do you always come when someone calls you a 'slut' hmm? Shameful." His grip on your hips tightened as he began to suck on your swollen clit again. You held on to his glass desk as you lay on top of his many documents and folders. His fingers poked and prodded your sweet spot. Your juices stained the multi-million-dollar contracts beneath you when you saw stars from pleasure.

Drool runs down the back of your neck and ruins your shirt, as everything is too sensitive from your orgasm, and each time his fingers penetrate you, you shudder and whimper. You spread your thighs wide in a desperate attempt to escape the endless assault on your clit. But your hips are firmly gripped and held in place by Yeosang's strong hands.

His tongue laps up your juices as if they were his last meal and licks your swollen pussy.

"Come on. I think you can cum again; you're going to need to try harder to keep up with what I think of you." His seductive chocolate eyes looked up at you, and all you could think about was his fingers going inside you, making you wish it was his thick cock. Oh, and Yeosang is good at it, too. Last time, you had to swap your usual stiletto heels for something more comfortable, and you couldn't walk normally for several days.

"Oh! Yeosang." Your back arched up from the table, and your toes curled up. Pleasure washed over you like a blanket as you pulled hard on his hair, eliciting a deep, low moan from him.

Every time you hear Yeosang moan, you think that if he weren't the CEO of the company you work for, he could be making a lot of money from Pornhub.

"I'm cummin' Yeosang!" You screamed his name as your legs closed around his head, and you came again. You fell back onto the table and caught your breath as he finally released your hips and stuck out his tongue to show you the mess you had made. The prettiest boys are always the dirtiest. You realised after the first time that Yeosang had literally fucked you to the last inch of your life.

"Miss Moon, there are still 40 minutes until lunch break. I think you have enough time for two or three more orgasms.

[mstigeress37-blog]

all because i liked a boy

SUM. You and Draco have been teasing each other for as long as you can remember when suddenly, you have had enough.

Draco. M x reader, fluff, angst, borderline bullying (could be seen as teasing but draco hits a certain nerve multiple times), reader is an academic warrior, reader has one panic attack, reader cries twice, Dub-con kissing, Ron x Reader (platonic), a fight happens, Reader gets hit on accident, family issues.

-----

Your story starts on your first day when you befriended Neville and Hermione on the train towards Hogwarts. Because you and Hermione had subconsciously chosen each other to be best friends, you were friends with Harry and Ron as default.

Out of your family, you were the first to join Hogwarts - every female L/N before you had gone to Beauxbatons but your parents decided to bring you here after your sister failed and therefore couldn't graduate.

Because of your older sister's choice to party instead of study, your parents had made it quite clear that you had to pass with flying colours, even if you were only eleven.

You were walking up the stairs with Hermione when a Professor in a tall hat stopped you all. She explained how the houses worked before leaving to make sure everything was ready.

"Psst." You hear someone whisper beside you. You look around curiously before your eyes settle on the Draco Malfoy.

Your family and the Malfoy family had been in kahoots for a while - his father was the boss of your very respected mother so, while it was rare, it also wasn't uncommon to see you at their family balls.

"Hello, L/N. How did you find the ride to Hogwarts?" He smiles, his gelled slick back hair shining, making you bite back your laughter.

"It was pleasant, I made a couple friends. How about you?"

"The same. I met up with Crabble and Goyle, you remember them, right, L/N?" He replies, gesturing to his friends behind him who are in their own conversation. You nod. He continues before you can speak.

"You know, it's a shame what happened to your sister."

You felt your heart crack slightly a the thought of your sister. You loved her more than anyone else in the world, but because she had damaged the L/N reputation, she was heavily reprimanded by almost everyone in your family. 'She's lucky she wasn't kicked out of the family.' You remember your parents telling you under candlelight as they kissed your forehead. 'Let this be a reminder to you, Y/N, to never fall behind in your studies.'

If the situation with your sister wasn't as bad as your family had made it to be, you would have smiled and moved on. But you felt insecurities flow through your eleven-year-old veins for the first time, so you lashed out as gracefully as you could.

"Yes, Malfoy, it's also a shame with what happened to your father. What happened again? He got fired for suspicious use of the dark arts?" You scoffed, turning your head away from him and crossing your arms. From the corner of your eye, you see that Hermione had been watching with concern the whole time.

You listen to Draco struggle to insult you back, stuttering and all, before letting out a court, 'My father will hear about this!'

Fast forward twenty minutes and the sorting hat is on your head. You hear it grumble and mumble to itself before yelling, 'SLYTHERIN!'

The table of the said house erupts in cheers and hollers, clapping as you sat down at your table. You make eye contact with Hermione from her table who gives you a thumbs-up. You respond by giving a wide-smile.

A couple days later and you quickly start to feel guilty. You have a lot of classes together so whenever you see him sat at his seat, you force yourself to turn away.

One day, you had spoken to both Hermione and Pansy (on separate occasions of course, even if you didn't quite understand the rivalry between Slytherin and Gryffindor) and both had said to just apologise to him. The worst that could happen would be that he doesn't accept your apology but he grows up to forgive you, right?

Wrong.

"Malfoy, could we talk?"

It was break now and you were both coming out of your Transfiguration class. He stops to glance at you and you feel bad for the people that are stuck behind him and are forced to squeeze by. He nods silently so you walk away with him following you. You lead him to a quiet part of the corridors.

"I wanted to apologise for how I acted last week, it was rude and I had no reason to say that. I was insecure and you wouldn't believe what I had to go through when my sister-"

"What you went through?" He cuts you off.

"It wasn't you that failed." He takes a step forward. "It wasn't you that was bad-mouthed by the entire Ministry of Magic." Another step. "It wasn't you that was technically banished by all social events." He took one more step, and you felt your back hit the stone wall. Your breath is quivering by now.

"Your sister made the one mistake of being happy and now she has to pay the sad price. I truly feel bad for her, not you." He looks down at you for a while before he backs off, still glaring. "Not everything is about the youngest L/N daughter, Princess Y/N." He says before walking off, hands in his pockets.

The worst that could happen would be that he makes you insecure of what you talk about and will continue to torment you for five years.

Because he was right. Not everything was about you.

You stood there for a couple of beats before you ran off to find Pansy or Hermione, whoever you found first, but amidst the chaos that was running through your mind and the tears that wouldn't stop falling, you ran into Ron.

Probably the worst person you could have run into. It couldn't have been Blaise or Harry, so it had to be Ron.

And bless his heart, Ron really did try to soothe you. He couldn't understand your babbles as you choked through your sobs, but he could understand one thing.

Draco's name.

Before he even attended the school, he knew of the Malfoys, so it didn't surprise him that you were hurt because of him. But you were absolutely wrecked, it looked like you couldn't even breathe. Sitting on the floor probably wasn't helping.

He went to go find Hermione, but the minute he stood up, he felt you tug on his sleeve.

"Please..." You mutter to the best of your abilities. "Just stay with me."

And stay he did.

That day, you both saw a different side to each other. You no longer saw him as the corny comedic relief, and he no longer saw you as the posh pure-blood.

Ever since then, you often sat at the Gryffindor table. Prefects like Percy were suspicious at first - A slytherin sitting at the Gryffindor couldn't have been good news - but people grew to love you and you had more friends on the Gryffindor table than the Slytherin table.

Sometimes you would sit with Pansy on the Slytherin table, but you would have to sit away from her friendship circle since Draco was a part of that. You didn't force her to stop being friends with Draco since you sat at the Gryffindor table most of the time and no one else would talk to her. Most of your conversations take place in class or in your shared room.

The first time Draco made fun of you in front of everyone was in Potions class a couple months after you confronted him. You were sat alone since Pansy was sick.

You put a feather into your potion only for it to instantly blow up, puffing smoke into your face.

You were utterly embarrassed - not only did you mess up in Snape's class of all classes and you looked a mess, but this meant that you made a mistake.

Draco's words echoed in your head: 'She made one mistake and now has to pay the price.'

Snape silently took your flask and saved telling you off since he knew you're usually on top of things.

"Ha!" You heard behind you. "She's turning into her sister!"

You slowly turn around to see Draco laughing with Crabble and Goyle. Despite the entirety of the class not laughing with him, you felt as though the whole world was cackling and wouldn't stop cackling.

Before anything else was said, you ran out of the class.

It didn't stop there. He would constantly insult your smarts and your grades - even if you had gotten Leviosa on your first try and he didn't, he would comment on something like your posture, whether bad or good. He also made it seem like he was bullying Harry, Ron and Hermione for being friends with you, making you feel guilty about even being friends with them.

One time, the three could tell that you were trying to pull away from them so they invited you out to Hogsmeade more and more. Soon enough, you forgot about even trying to stop talking to them.

Throughout the next four years, you slowly learned to tune out Draco's bullying, and yes, you reported him and so did many others, but nothing was ever done because of his family's status. One time, however, a howler was sent to Draco and not only was it from his mother, it was also from his dad! He left you alone for awhile before he eventually forgot about the Howler and went back to you.

For a while , you didn't think of your sister. No, not like that, you sent her letters every week, but you just slowly stopped thinking about your parents forcing you to be smart all because of her, you just fell into the routine of studying and you quite liked it.

Once you got through the mental block of attending parties, you loved going out! You were friends with every house at Hogwarts, so you were seen at almost every party all while keeping your straight As.

You even learned to talk back to Draco. While you never insulted his father again, you would tease him by saying stuff like 'kiss my ass' and 'you can't mansplain Quidditch to me when you're not even on the team, unlike Harry.’

------

You were in your fifth year now and currently struggling to get something from the top shelf when suddenly, you felt someone's chest come up behind your back and see a long arm stretch out to get the bottle you needed before backing up.

You turn around to see Draco's face. By now, he was much taller than you and had also somewhat left you alone. When you stopped responding to his comments, he slowly gave up.

His expression was unreadable but he just kept staring at you before giving you the bottle and walking away.

That was the first act of kindness (?) between you and Draco. Once, he struggled to get a potion correct for the last few lessons and once you saw he was about to put the wrong ingredient in, you stopped him and passed him the correct ingredient. When the potion lit up and showed to Draco that he had successfully made the potion, his smile grew wide before looking to you and nodding.

You were getting used to passing by Draco in the corridors without fear but instead with smiles towards each other.

Little did you know, Draco had not only felt extremely guilty for how he's acted towards you even though you tried to apologise on the first week. He just couldn't stop, because if he did, he wouldn't be able to talk to you and get your attention anymore. But when that happened anyways, he gave up on making fun of you.

Now, it was nighttime and you were in the astronomy, leaning against the gate that held you from falling to your death. Earlier today, you had less that 100 on your test. While it was still a good score and most people wouldn't be able to get a 94, you didn't want it to be the first of many. You thought maybe studying right now might not be the best since you won't even remember the information.

You hear someone clear their throat. "Hey, Ron." You said. Ron was the only one to know that, if someone couldn't find you, you'd be up here. Weirdly enough, you were each other's shoulder to cry on ever since that day with Draco.

"Ron?" The voice says behind you. In shock, you stand up straight and off the gate only for your eyes to land on Draco, so you went back to leaning.

"Hey, Malfoy."

"You know you're not supposed to be up hear, right? You should be in bed, now." Oh yeah. You forgot he was a prefect now.

"I know."

Oddly enough, you knew he wasn't going to do anything. You had no reason to think that, but your gut was telling you to stay. "I could pay you to keep quiet, if you want." you joke. You hear him scoff and suddenly, he's next to you, also leaning on the gate.

"Nah, I've got enough money." He says, causing you to laugh, which makes him laugh slightly too. "What're you doing up here? Are you expecting Weasley?" He asks, looking at you, but you keep looking out into the night sky.

"Nope, I just wanted some time to think." You say briefly. And you do think. You think, 'Why the hell am I telling him this?'

"Do you want me to leave?" He questions after a couple moments of silence, and the question shocks you. He didn't say, 'I'll leave,' or 'I can leave.' He said 'Do you want me to?'

You find yourself shaking your head before you can think, so he nods.

"Can I ask you something, Malfoy?" You ask all of a sudden, turning your head to face him and he's already staring at you.

"Of course."

You hesitate for a moment, wondering if you were in the right headspace to ask him 'why were you so mean to me for so long?' or if Draco would just pull what he did in first year again. So you shake your head and start to walk away.

"No. Never mind. I'm going to bed."

Suddenly, he grabs your arm. You wince at the grip which he instantly amends by soften his grip but not letting go.

"No. Ask me."

"Malfoy, let me go-"

"Please."

You turn your head around to see him practically pleading with both his eyes and his words. Never had you heard him say 'Please' to even a professor.

You felt bad, so you turned your whole body around to face him, shifting your weight onto one hip and crossing your arms.

"Why did you tease me for so long?" You finally ask, clenching my teeth and hardening my gaze as he seemed to struggle to get words out.

"You do know that you teased me too?" He says, his eyes never breaking eye contact with you.

"Yeah, but I didn't insult you, Draco!" You burst out before backing down instantly. "Malfoy. Sorry." You corrected yourself.

He lets go of your arm before swiftly moving both his hands to cup your cheeks and kiss you. You panic slightly and push him away.

"What the fuck?!" You yell, wiping your lips in disgust. "You can't just make me and my Hogwarts experience absolutely dreadful and horrific and then kiss me like you're in love with me!"

"That's because I do!" He yells back, making you shut up. He runs a hand through his hair, turning away from you to think for a bit before turning back but not meeting your eyes. "I have been since you first came to the Malfoy balls."

You look at him as if he was crazy because right now, he is.

"Then why did you make my life hell?!"

"Because...!" He manages to exhale out before sighing. "Because I was an insecure only-child who has never had to say sorry and always gets his way. I'm sorry I never said sorry but you wouldn't even look my way if I didn't tease you a least a little, and I know, I know I went too far sometimes, but please..." He takes a couple steps back to get closer to you and tower over you. "Please forgive me."

There's a moment where you're slowly puckering your lips and he's leaning down. He puts a hand back on your cheek before the kiss finally lands.

The kiss, at first, is slow before it gets rougher and his other hand goes to the back of your head to safely push you against a wall. It reminds you of first year but you don't think about that memory for long since he's licking your bottom lip and you're opening up, closing your eyes.

You're both moaning into the kiss, your hand going up to throw his hat away to rake your hand through his hair, until Draco is suddenly pulled off of you and grunting in pain. You don't even comprehend what's happening in front of you when you open your eyes for a while until you see ginger hair mixed with platinum blonde hair on the floor.

Ron is beating up Draco.

"Ron!" You yelp, rushing to get him off. "Stop!"

"What the hell are you doing to her, Malfoy?!" Ron practically spits as you pull his punching arm away only for him to get it out of your grasp and punch him again.

You go to grab Ron's arm again but he brings his arm up quicker than you thought and elbows your face, hitting your cheekbone and causing you to yelp and fall onto the floor.

At the sound, Ron gasps and looks back to see you on the floor covering your cheekbone. He quickly gets up to check on you, crawling on the floor and carefully taking your hand off of your cheek. He can barely take a look at the already-forming bruise before he's shoved out of the way by Draco whose eyes were wide and whose hand was shaking just by looking at your pretty face ruined by a purple spot.

"Get off her, Malfoy-!"

"Merlin, Ron, just shut up!" You yell, scrabbling to get up and quickly leaving. Draco doesn't hesitate to grab his prefect hat that had fallen off during the kiss and go after you, but Ron's iron grip landed on his shoulder.

"Don't go after her." Ron threatens, getting out his wand from his pocket with his other hand. Draco has to admit, Ron is the most stupid person he knows (he was being proven right the second Ron put his hand on his shoulder) but Ron can be intimidating, like now.

Draco just pushes his hand off before running after you.

He sees you speed-walking down the dark and empty corridor so he jogs after you, stopping you and turning you to face him.

You've been crying since you left and he pulls you into a hug, letting you cry into his robe, his chin laying on top of your head. Eventually, you pull away and go on you tippy-toes to kiss his cheek, leaving him a blushing mess. This is the first time you properly saw him since Ron had beat him up - his cheek was much more purple than yours as well as his nose which was also starting to bleed from his nostrils, and his lip was cut - but he was still much more concerned with you than him.

"C'mon. Let's get you to bed." He nods in the direction of the dungeons.

"What is the meaning of this?" You hear the familiar voice of Umbridge, causing you both to flinch and turn around quickly. She's glaring at you until she's looking at Draco for an information. "I heard yelling up in the astronomy tower, Mr Malfoy. Tell me everything has been sorted?" She sighs.

"Yes, Professor Umbridge, a couple of Gryffindors. I got caught up in it but it's been sorted out, now." He lies. You both watch cautiously as she nods in understanding, her gaze going from the floor to you. "And her?"

"Sleep walking, ma'am." Draco 'explains' without a beat. You see her look at the bruise.

"Draco told me I had fallen down when he found me." You tell her. She nods.

"Make sure you both go straight to bed, the both of you!" She says before turning around and coming back from where she had come from. Once she had turned the corner, you and Draco laugh with each other and you turn around to make your way to the dungeons, walking in the opposite direction of Umbridge.

He casually slings an arm around your shoulders, kissing your temple as you both made you way over.

[skrrts]

concert seats (drabble)

✧ gn!reader & jongho ✧ genre: non idol, slice of life, dating, fluff ✧ word count: 720

Jongho refuses to leave the concert with you just because some idiots removed your seat number & didn't check before.

“I don’t care what you’re saying. We bought the tickets legally, there’s even a wristband with the seat number. We are going to watch this together! I’m not going to kick out my partner to attend this concert alone!”

While Jongho’s voice wasn’t loud, it was obvious he was firm. To prove it, he held your hand even tighter, throwing death glares at the staff who were trying to convince him to leave you behind after the organizers messed up big-time.

A few weeks ago, when he surprised you with tickets for your birthday, you couldn’t have been happier. For years, Jongho had to listen to your sighs and whines about how you really wanted to see your favorite artist perform live but the tickets were always insanely priced. So, behind your back, he took an extra job and slowly worked towards it until he had the money to afford them. Perfectly timed, the new tour was announced just the day prior.

You spent hours getting ready and couldn’t stop talking about it, especially how much you loved Jongho. Not only because he got those tickets for you, working so hard, but also because he came along to something that wasn’t his own interest.

When you arrived at your row, it was quick to note that something wasn’t right. The staff explained that there had been another event the other day and somehow, your seat was removed. Now, the staff told you that there was no way for you to attend, something about security reasons, but your boyfriend wasn’t taking it.

“I will have to call security if you refuse, I’m afraid,” the woman tried to sound tough, but she wasn’t doing a good job. Maybe because Jongho had the presence of a mafia boss (it was a popular joke among you and your friends because he really could be that scary if he wanted to).

He pointed to his seat: “Mine is the last in the row, behind me is a pillar, no person. It’s simple. I pull Y/N on my lap and we watch it all quietly. Nobody’s sight is interrupted and we do not have to carry this onto TikTok.” She shook her head: "Not an option."

Jongho didn’t even have an account and you had to hold back a soft chuckle as he took out his phone and started to film. “Hi guys, we are currently inside the Starshower Stadium and…”

There was a hint of panic in her features. TikTok’s hate wave was the nightmare of about every organizer and she hurried to wave her hands. “Please, no recording! Ah, okay! Please, it has to remain between the three of us because by law, I am not allowed to leave you here without a seat.”

There was no reason to, since you were at the end of the row and there wasn’t even a staircase nearby. “Please remain on the chair and enjoy the concert,” she bowed and rushed off, cursing under her breath as she did so.

“TikTok huh, I’d love to see that. I actually still think we could make millions of money with your apple crusher technique,” you laughed and he just offered you that small grin you enjoyed so much.

“I will think about it,” Jongho took your hand and pulled you over to the chair, and onto his lap. He made sure you were sitting comfortably before curling his strong arms around you to ensure you wouldn’t have to worry about falling off.

“Please remember, your very handsome and mysterious boyfriend is sitting right behind you, should you have a sudden urge to dance, with your arms” Jongho coughed.

“Don’t worry, as much as I am looking forward to seeing her live, I promise nothing would ever put my amazing, scary boyfriend at risk,” you winked.

For a moment, the two of you just looked at each other before he made pouty lips, indicating he wanted a kiss. It was silly and sweet; you had gotten used to loving it whenever he was doing it once Jongho was confident nobody was looking.

“Now then, let’s see if I turn into a stan too,” he mumbled as the crowd cheered and the artist stepped on stage.

You relaxed back against him, thinking this was much better than any place in the front row.

[itsmattchou]

like sweet chocolate ice cream !

pairing: seventeen maknae line x gn!reader warnings: probably profanity i swear too much, reader is implied to be shorter than mingyu, canon typical seungkwan violence in chans section, english isn't my first language!!! genre: fluff synopsis: just cute things the boys would do in a relationship! notes: started this thing in march and finally finished like a week ago. first post kinda nervous🥴 shoutout to my beautiful gf for helping me with this!💗

hyung line version

seokmin - has thousands of petnames for you. he knows you have a name. but calling you solely by your name is too boring for him- so he just resorts to petnames. but always using the same ones isn't good enough for him either, as no single petname alone could express his love for you perfectly. so he just uses every single one and switches them up every time: honey, baby, babe, darling, love, sweetheart, sunshine, pumpkin, flower, … you get the thrill. he calls you every pretty word he knows. will get offended if you don't switch up your petnames for him from time to time too.

mingyu - rests his head on yours. no matter how tall you are, there's a good chance he's still taller than you. and he absolutely loves loves LOVES it. he does that annoying thing tall people tend to do- purposely putting stuff you need on the highest shelf so you have to ask him to get it for you (he loves feeling needed)- but his favorite thing he can do because his height allows him to is resting his head on yours whenever he gives you a random back hug. and he does it every time he hugs you. and he hugs you all the time. your head isn't for you to use, it's just "mingyus headrest" at this point.

minghao - remembers everything you tell him about. whatever you're telling him, he is always 100% paying attention. whenever you ramble about something, may it be about a show you like, about the book you've read recently or just something that happened at work- he slurps up every piece of information as if he was dying of thirst. minghao thinks of you as one of the most important parts of his life, therefore he "should treasure everything about you, even your opinion on the sweater your boss wore today" (his words, not yours). you do find it endearing, of course you do, but it's still a bit creepy when he remembers stuff you can't even recall ever talking about…

vernon - only watches shows with you. he is your typical introverted, quality time as love language, chilled kinda guy. he enjoys simply existing next to you, he doesn't even need to talk to you. your presence next to him is already enough for him to be super happy- but he also knows it can get quite boring to do only that. so he just puts a show on for you two to watch! vernon refuses to watch a single episode without you and stops the second he sees you asleep next to him and 100% expects you to do the same thing whenever he falls asleep first. he's always on the lookout for new shows for the two of you to watch and has made a list for it. he really likes to call it "your thing".

seungkwan - is your personal hypeman. this man is simply so fun and precious. he loves when you talk to him about your day, your ideas, your worries, your everything- he also likes that he's able to do the exact same thing with you. but he not only listens, he also encourages you and hypes you up. for every little thing. you wore the green sweater today? AWESOME! you want to try a new lip tint? GO AHEAD! you show him lyrics you wrote? YOU SLAYED! karaoke night? YOU'RE BEYONCÉ! he's so proud of you and can't help but be your lil cheerleader boyfriend. he still gives you the "criminal offensive side eye" from time to time tho. nobody's safe.

chan - updates you on everything. there's nothing chan loves more than spending time with you. dates, cuddling or just silently enjoying each others presence: he's down for everything, as long as it means being with you. of course he can't spend every second of his life by your side (sobbing), so whenever he's not around you he resorts to texting you. "wonwoo hyung just sneezed" "seungkwan hyung just kicked hoshis kneecaps" "seungcheol hyung just told me to put my phone down" he updates you on everything that happened, doesn't even matter how important it is. also has that goofy smile on his face his hyungs make fun of him for whenever you text

[xxchaosjojoxx]

First love (Penguin x reader)

A/N: I was blushing writing this omg. More love for our penguin boy.

Song name is: First Love by Utada Hikaru. The english lyrics have a slightly different meaning than the japanese version, but I hope you don’t mind.

I was a former Youtaite and every now and then I still sing/cover songs. I’m not good at that but I enjoy singing. If you wanna hear the song the reader sings feel free to listen to my cover or the original song as well. (In the comments)

~~~~~~~~~~~

You were humming while you cleaned off the tables in the bar you worked at. It was already dark outside and had nothing else to do right now, except waiting for customers. Your boss walked in. “Get ready y/n, pirates docked on our island.” He said and you were ready to greet them and serve them whatever drink they wanted. You weren’t afraid at all, you knew a lot of pirates, since you worked as a waitress. No one hurt you or was inappropriate towards you. Even if they were, your boss would kick their asses. You heard a lot of footsteps and you turned around, ready to greet them, but you froze. There were two men in front of you. Laughing at each other's stories. They wore hats. You could only look at that Penguin hat. “No way.” you whispered. They looked at you shortly, smiling, waving a short “hello” before walking to the end of the bar sitting at a table. The two men didn’t recognize you. Ok to be fair it was 10 years ago. 10 years is a long time though.

You were a waitress in Pleasure Town on swallow island together with Penguin. You worked a few years together. He was cute, funny and overall an adorable dork. You fell in love with him pretty fast. It was hard not to. But sadly, one day, he left with his friends on a submarine. After you read the news about the new pirate crew, named “Heart pirates”, you decided to leave as well. You had the hope to see them again, especially your first love.

You ran around, serving drinks and then you saw them. Bepo and Law. “Shachi and Penguin couldn’t remember me…they forgot about me too. I’m sure of it.” You thought and served them their drinks. A hand grabbed yours and you turned around, looking into Law’s eyes. “So it’s really you, y/n-ya” he said and showed you a small smile. You nodded happily. “So you recognize me?” Bepo nodded while grinning. “I said that you looked like y/n earlier. And I was right. Do you remember us as well?” He asked.

“Of course Bepo. I could never forget my favorite pirates.” You laughed. “We have to catch up soon, but sadly I have to work. Maybe we can chat after my shift?” You asked and Law nodded. “Sure. We will stay til tomorrow. So there is no rush.” He said calmly. You never interacted much with him back in the days, but you remember him being friendly whenever you talked with him.

You rushed over to the bar, refilling some glasses for your guests. “Mind singing us a little song, missy?” your boss asked you. With a grin you accepted his request. “It would be a pleasure. Like always.” Not only were you working as a waitress you were a singer in that bar for a while now as well.

He held a microphone in front of you and you accepted it gladly.

“Hello everyone.” You said and they were turning towards you. You could feel their eyes on you. “If you don’t mind I would sing a few songs for you to entertain your stay. I hope you will like it.” With that, soft music echoed through the bar and was followed by your voice soon after. You had a calm and soft voice. Singing was your passion and you enjoyed it since you were a kid. The pirates were looking at you. Humming as well, smiling or just enjoying the music. You looked at the table where Penguin and Shachi were sitting. They were grinning, singing as well. A smile was on your face.

After your performance you glanced over at Penguin before you walked towards Law with fast steps.

“Law, I have a request.” He was sighing. “Let me guess. You wanna join our crew?”

He looked at me with a stern look on his face. Without avoiding his gaze you nodded and gulped. “I could be your musician...or yor cook. Maybe I can be a log keeper as well. You know I liked those back in the days. Just please let me-” Law interrupted you.

“Ok ok. We will find something for you. Don’t worry. If you are really sure about that, pack your things. We will leave tomorrow morning. If you have a change of heart, stay here.” You nodded happily. “Thank you very much. Don’t tell Pen and Shachi please. They have to remember me on their own, ok?” With that you left the bar. Ready for a new adventure in your life.

The next morning you were standing on the deck of the polar Tang. Law coughed.

“Everyone. This is Y/N. She will be our musician and helps us in the kitchen as well. Give her a hand, if she needs something in the beginning.”

They were all welcoming you with a bright smile.

Penguin and Shachi were approaching you soon. “Hey I am Penguin and this is Shachi. It’s nice meeting you.” He said with a smile on his face. “You seem somewhat familiar. I knew someone with the same name as well.” You giggled. “What a coincidence.” Penguin and you were laughing. Shachi was kinda confused. “Ehm Pen? I guess Y/N is the same Y/N from back home. They look similar.” Shachi said and Pen froze. Looking at you with an intense gaze. “Wait…really?” He asked and you couldn’t help but laugh. “Why didn’t you say so earlier? Like yesterday in the bar?”

You had tears in your eyes from the laughter. “You guys forgot about me. So it was a decision to remember me…or not.”

From this day on, you got closer with your crew, especially Penguin and Shachi. The feelings you harbored back then blossomed again inside your chest. He was still the same cute, funny and dorky guy you remembered. But now he was more mature, and he was more attractive than the last time you saw him. Since the day you left Swallow island, you worked on different original songs and one evening you decided to perform one.

Your crew was sitting on the deck, smiling and waiting for a performance. Even Law was there, standing against the railing. Watching you closely as you stand in front of your new family. “Hey guys. I would love to perform a song for you, I wrote myself. I have never performed it before, but I hope you will like it.”

As soon as the music played, you felt really nervous. It was not just a normal song. It was a song dedicated to your first love. And he was sitting in the front row. Smiling at you, giving you a thumbs up, to cheer you up. You closed your eyes for a short while you started humming and singing the song.

As you sang you were looking directly at Penguin. You couldn’t avoid your gaze and you wouldn’t want it any different. Seeing his expression was the most important thing for you at that moment. Your singing voice was sweet and soft for Penguin and your crewmates. They were smiling at you and dancing a little while they were enjoying your song.

Your eyes were locked on his face. He was still smiling until you sang the refrain. He was confused and felt a little uncomfortable. It was a love song and you looked at him directly.

He gulped and felt a blush on his cheeks. // Maybe she sings it while looking at me, because she feels more comfortable while doing so? I have no idea. Don’t read too much into her actions.//

The past few weeks were fantastic. He found his close friend and had a chance to get to know her better. He enjoyed spending time with you like he did back then. You were cute, had a nice voice and were laughing at his jokes. Penguin has fallen for you slowly. Hearing your voice was magical for him. His thoughts were racing, thinking that you would maybe like him as well. But he knew that this was just a little dumb thing to think about. You were singing about your first love. It couldn’t be him.

After your performance you were shaking and you felt super shy. Bepo, Ikkaku and Shachi jumped up and hugged you tightly, praising you. You still felt nervous. Penguin’s expression changed every now and then. You didn’t know if it was a good thing or not. You went towards the railing, taking a deep breath as you adored the beautiful sight of the sea in front of you. Footsteps came near you. “You were fantastic.” Penguin said and you turned around. Your face was heating up. “T-Thanks”.

There was a silence between you. Penguins' voices filled the void. “You know…singing such a beautiful song with such a powerful message…it felt weird, that you looked at me the whole time… But I guess it wasn’t intentional.”

You studied his face. He was looking away from you, scratching his blushing cheek. You couldn’t help but smile, so you took a step towards him. “Was it?”

He was looking at you again. “Yeah I thought for a moment, that I was your first love back there. Funny thing, right?” He stuttered and felt nervous. There was no way, right?

A smile appears on your beautiful face. “Nah. ‘Was’ is the wrong word. You still are my first love, y’know.”

He froze while his face was now deep red. “W-W-Wait what?” He was confused. Did he hear you correctly? Are you messing with him?

“But how? Why? You never said anything at all.”

You were right in front of him, looking up at him. “What was I supposed to do? The day I was deciding to confess to you, you left with Law, Bepo and Shachi. I couldn’t tell you how I felt, after you said your goodbyes.” His hands found yours. It was a tingly feeling. “I told myself that I would tell you the truth, when I ever get a chance to see you again.”

Penguin was stuttering and his hand was sweating. “B-But a lot of time passed. How can you say that I still am your first love?”

You avoided his gaze while whispering. “You do know what people say right? You never forget your first love. All the feelings I harbor inside me, started to bloom again, as soon as I saw you again in that bar.”

You squeezed his hands as you decided to look him deep into his eyes. “Even if you don’t feel the same way about me. I would love to get a chance to give you the love you deserve, please?” Your smile was too cute for him to handle, so he nodded like a maniac. Leaning in, giving you a chaste kiss on your right cheek. “How could I say no to this and you? You wrote a song about me. I would be an idiot if I would reject you.” He grinned and you were happy that a new chapter in your life will start very soon.

[helluvabossrewrite45]

Hey. I've seen some of your rewrite of Helluva Boss scenes and I really like them. I enjoy how you fixed the issues with the writing and how incredibly spectacular your writing of the improved dialogue within the scenes are.

Honestly, I feel inspired by your work. I have an idea for my own Helluva Boss rewrite where I not only fix issues the show has (ex. tonal shifts, inconsistencies & plot holes, worldbuilding issues, etc), but also integrate my HB OCs into my rewrite (ex. my main HB OC Alice Lola (Ally for short), who is an assassin at I.M.P. and an aspiring writer).

I was wondering if I could ask you this: do you have any advice & tips you could give for who have an idea for starting an HB rewrite, or a rewrite in general? I ask out of curiosity as an aspiring writer myself.

Feel free to respond back when you get the chance. Thank you and have a wonderful day/afternoon/night. Keep up the great work! 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻 🤗💕❤️🧡💛💚💙💜💖💕🤗

Thank you, im glad you enjoy my rewrites and of course, I can offer up some advice for rewrites;

I think one of the best things in writing a rewrite is that you can use these minor details the piece your rewriting has and use them to you advantage. For example, I noticed that Octavia listens to music whenever she hears her parents arguing or at the dinner table where her parents would be and probably would have at least some awkward tension so from rewriting seeing stars, I use that minor detail to highlight her character and her arc of using music or the moon festival to ignore her problems even though it clearly doesn't help. It also contrast with Loona in my rewrite ignoring her problems that she later acknowledges and the two would open up, closing the character arcs in a nice neat bow. Another would be that Millie is often depicted as either moxxie's wife or a murder machine and from the little time we see with her and her family, I rewrote millie growing up having to be in her sisters shadow and just wanting to be her own person instead as inferior or someone's tool. This would establish why she has a rivalry with her sister while also giving her more character for her to be explored (which we should've gotten from harvest moon tbh), Any details you find in helluva can be a tool for you to explore whether it be for the characters, world etc...

Something that even I learned is that when rewriting, you gotta plan what your gonna do with the characters, with the worldbuilding you establish, with all of these plots/ideas your rewriting. Most of the problems helluva has is because vivziepop didnt plan the show out until season 2 rolled around and if we wanna rewrite the show to be better, we ourselves cant make the same mistakes. If you already started the rewrite however, i suggest you look back on the rewrite your already doing for as much as you can to remember in order to not fall into the same mistake the show itself has

When planning an oc into rewrites, I think the main thing is to ask what are they doing here, what purpose do they serve to the plot and what is their character overall (their motive, personality, character arc, likes, dislikes, relationship with the characters, how they bounce off to the other characters etc...)

As another aspiring writer who has a lot of original stories in the works (there's even an original story inspired by helluva boss and some of my rewrite ideas for it), I think its important to approach criticism as a helpful tool rather than an insult. Especially when its rewrites. I always want whatever I'm writing to at least be of decent quality and is regularly curious of how people would react to my original stories still in the works so receiving it and even given criticism for it can help, you know? Since you have an established audience and them offering criticism can be your tool that you can use to improve. It should be noted though that their is a difference between criticism and personal bias/subjectivity. For example, if someone wanted to point out a plot hole or a mistake in your work, that's criticism you can use. But if someone just tells you to go touch grass for your rewrite or something like that, then its not criticism, that's personal bias/opinion they have of rewrites in general so it offers nothing you can use to improve it.

That's all I got so far, I hope this helps!

[sofiaaaa36]

promise me!🧡

(BACKSTORY/PT. 1)

summary: being one of the best hunters in nevarro's bounty guild, you reminisce about your heavily-adventurous, and boundless past on getting to where you are today. walking into work, you dont expect what your next commission is but, it involves an "old friend" or how your boss says it, "buddy".

warnings: f!reader, tiny swearing, a pinch of violence, FYI: this is just the start, also it won't be a full fanfic for each episode. i just wanna write it as it is in my brain. THATS ALL🫶🤭

nevarro was your home. even though the rocky and volcanic planet wasn't anything comfortable, you never had anywhere else to go.

when you were too young to remember, your father was a ruler of a mandalorian clan on one of the two moons of the planet mandalore. your guardians told you of how powerful your father was. apparently, your mother, surprisingly wasnt mandalorian. you were told that her lesson was that anybody could love anyone, no matter how different you are from them.

when the horrific purge started, it affected your home aswell. you would never forget the day you walked outside to see the streets filled with laying bodies, the sounds of the bright explosions echoing throughout the quiet city, and the smell of smoke surrounding you. it was tragic. at such a incredibly young age, you had lost your innocence.

you were told from your guardians, that your parent's last wish was for you to escape safely, and to become great just like them. survivors of the purge brought you to the far planet of nevarro. there, they granted your mother and father's wish. with their best efforts, they raised you to have traits like being intelligent, resourceful, and compassionate.

now being compassionate meant you cared for every little thing. you would fawn over any creature, big or small. you loved to see babies and toddlers. whenever you were around one, it would always stop crying or, it would look up at you in wonder. if you saw someone having a bad day, you felt that too. being able to read emotions came in handy, especially with your job right now.

your guardians also trained you in the way of weapons. from the long, harsh weeks of you getting knocked out during training in hand combat, to finally beating your "teacher" in a sparring match using a staff. talk about improvement!

as you were getting closer to the age of saying the mandalorian creed, you had mixed feelings about it. on one side, you felt pressure on having to wear the helmet since your family was mandalorian royalty. surely you'd carry on the tradition.. right? not really.. another side of you didn't want to put it on. the fact that the armor would have to stay on for the rest of your life scared you. the thought of not being able to eat or drink infront of anyone, not having your first "real" kiss, and not seeing the world in all of its true features made you uncertain about this whole thing. also even more reasons like, not showing your real emotions to the world, not being able to show your face for long amounts of time to your own future children and husband, and to top it all off, you hated the feeling of being "trapped".

of course you talked to your guardians about this and they listened to everything you said. they gave you the most thoughtful answer stating that it was up to you, the creed was made for those who wanted to walk the way. and what they said lastly, really stood out to you. your mother's lesson: she wasnt mandalorian and she still married your father. you can be completely different than others, and still be a part of their lives.

you took their advice and never swore the creed. even-though there was always guilt and shame, you assured yourself with the thought of your mother.

getting to the age of independence, you joined the bounty guild. you definitely had what it takes, and you wanted those credits! the first day you got there, the stuffy cantina was filled with many people who seemed like they were judging you. they whispered to eachother nasty rumors on your abilities, and how you got here. it was an extremely miserable tough crowd..

lets just say you put a couple of those people in their place. just a few days after you joined the guild, you were just picking out one of the many bounty pucks. looking at the holograms, suddenly, you sensed someone was behind you. you were tapped on the shoulder by a twi'lek man, that looked like he had a little bit too much to drink, who was surrounded by an intimidating tall group of 4 others.

now facing you, the man started speaking, his words being slurred, "arent you.. wait a minute..! you're a pretty lady, why'd you be in this business? i think i know somethin' else you'd be good at.." he said smiling dumbly. "you girls always end up in here and we end up having to shoo you away.." "excuse me!?" you were completely shocked with your mouth wide open. "im capable of being a hunter, thank you, and no, im not gonna' sell my body!" you replied defensive, and still a little taken back from his comments. you then decided that you didn't want to deal with his drunken behavior. so, you quickly moved back. unexpectedly, you felt a hand tightening its grip around your arm. one of the man's friends in his group was holding onto you. the tall man, surpise-surprise, was also drunk. he had a certain accent and started to announce to his friends, "ha! this one's feisty, aint she!? sorry sweetie, its not too common for a lady like you to come n' this guild and think she rules the place. its not gonna happen' again, so why dont we take you back outside ay?"

a slight panic and confusion filled you, who the hell did they think they were?!before he could finish what he was saying, you pushed the mans arm to where it could be fractured. yelling, the man rapidly held onto his broken arm.

the group stopped laughing and all of them came running to you. ducking, and blocking, you managed to not get hit by their horrible aim. you punched one of them in the nose, another guy grabbed the collar of your shirt to which you grabbed his hands, pushed them down, and kneed him in his lower torso. one by one you knocked them all out. slight blood was showing on your knuckles where you punched one of them in the nose. with all of them down, you quickly fixed the messy strands of hair on your face while going back to pick up the bounty puck.

after collecting yourself from what just happened, you carefully walked over and around the men dizzily getting up. as you were walking out, you noticed eyes beaming on you. anxiety was forming as you passed through the cantina with everyone staring. it felt like all the noise was becoming inaudible and you felt like you were being pressured underneath water.

right as you were about to walk outside, you passed someone just a little bit taller then you, in a gray, shiny, mandalorian helmet with beat-down armour.

his modulated voice sounded young, he probably was around your age, about 17 or 18. "hey, nice fighting.." he said to you while nodding his head up. still extremely embarrassed and now flustered, you responded with a quiet, "oh! thanks.." you gave him a slight smile and walked outside. thank the maker that was over. you decided to not think about what just happened and decided to focus on the outside. the ashy smell of outdoors, and the sandy, beige buildings clustering eachother, welcomed you back. you could finally breathe.

that was years ago. soon after that happened, you proved with several tasks that you were one of the guild's most respected hunters along with some others, including mando, the same person who complimented you a long time ago.

even though you and mando never talked after that, you guys sure as hell respected each other. almost enough to work together..

it was a regular day. before walking into the guild, you wanted to take another route. it was a more beautiful day than usual, the sky was a sunny, beautiful blue instead of the normal gloomy, cloudy, gray sky. you even felt a warm breeze passing by you. you felt the sun beaming on your freckled face!

walking through the heavily-populated bazaar, you saw all of the many orange, red, and yellow spices displayed on the shaded stands. many native fruits hanged on strings above you. upon walking some more, you spotted a stand with many different colored bandanas and cloths.

the lady selling them asked you, smiling, "would you be interested in buying any? they're great for the riding through the desert! or you could buy the cloths to clean or polish that blaster of yours!" you looked down on your slightly stained gun, and you decided you should probably take some. you responded politely, "sure, i'll take two. a long cloth, and just a regular one. "any particular color?" "i'm fine with anything." "alright then, that'll be ten credits!" you took out your tiny black pouch and passed her the credits. she passes you the cloths. "have a great day." "thanks! you too."

you look at the cloths. she gave you a normal sized orange one, and a small blanket-like teal-green cloth. you look down on them, you would definitely put these to good use.

now as you were getting closer to the guild, all of the buildings surrounding you became more wore down, abandoned, and empty.

you went inside the dimly lit bar, and there was an extreme change in lighting. walking around, karga suddenly approached you seeming in a hurry. his face seemed urgent. also he rarely talks to you, whats going on?

"y/l/n! i need to talk to you. come on!" he whispered. he held your arm while guiding you to an empty table. "what happened?" "listen, i sent your buddy mando on a pretty difficult bounty." he paused to gather his words. "okay?.. congratulations?" "no! not congratulations! all the people i sent to that bounty havent came back. they've all died, and i can't afford letting our best hunter die too!" you stared at him blankly. "so.. you want me to make sure he doesnt get lost?" "y/n come on this is serious. just make sure he end up alive and gets the bounty. your the only one he likes around here, so im sure he'll accept your help." your eyes widened a bit and a flustered heat ran through you after he said you were the only he liked in the guild. was he trying to bribe you into doing this mission, or was he telling the truth? anyways, getting the thoughts out of your head, you responded, "okay, wait- what do i get out of this? whats my pay?" he pulls out a tracking device. "its my highest paying bounty, im sure you'll be fine splitting it up. besides, i'd say your doing pretty well in terms of money. you have the time." he says smugly. your pretty hesitant about this, you think about it for about a minute. "well i dont have all day!" he rushes you for an answer. "fine, i'll do it!" "alright. now theres no puck but all i can tell you from what i've heard is that the bounty is on the planet arvala-7, and it's fifty years old." he slides you the tracking fob across the smooth table. "you'll use this to track it. do not tell a soul about this. now, im sure you'll catch mando quickly, its a small planet. just work with him, bring back the bounty together, and then you go separate ways. got it?" he pulls out his hand to shake yours. you said smiling, "dont worry, i'll get him back." you shake his hand back.

now getting up to leave for your new mission, you picked up the device and walked out. nervousness filled you. sure, the bounty would be difficult- but other questions popped up. like, would he be annoyed that you have to "forcefully" stay by him? would he be upset that he had to split the bounty with you even though it was his? but, somewhat on the bright-side, you had different thoughts like: could you talk to eachother about your mandalorian roots? what did mando's voice sound like now? how would he treat you since you were his "favorite"? wait those last two ones are a little bit off... you get the point though! you were scared shitless on your partner, and not the mission?!

uh.. anyways! getting back to your place, you were packing your things and bringing it to your one seated starfighter left in an open space. it may not be the best ship, but it got you to point a, to point b. it still held a special place in your heart. why? because it was the first ship you bought with your own earned credits.

with everything settled and strapped in, you got inside the seat and closed the hardtop of the ship. turning on the starfighter, you pressed in the coordinates for the supposed planet where the bounty was.

pulling on the control lever, you were getting higher and higher off the ground. once the coast was clear, you tugged hard on the lever to make it to the further to the atmosphere. finding a way to make it hyperspace, you switched on more controls. then, you pulled up on another lever, forcing you down on your seat. it took you to an abyss of swirling clouds made up of all shades of blue.

whenever you went to hyperspace, you always thought that this part was the "calm before the storm" but now you werent so sure about it!

[13urningstars]

🌟+ starscream

Bond ↳ Starscream

//OOC: I decided to go full out and write out how their dynamic varies across verses

V. TFP

"As much as he is,, kind of the worst, he's SOOO fun to bother" She's grinning. "I mean, common, he's got the funniest reactions! One time, I got put on distraction duty and we ended up fighting one on one, and i used this stupid pickup line from one of vera's films to see if it actually works and he just-" She breaks out into a laugh "-H-He just froze and then started squawking like a bird!! He couldn't even form a sentence!" She's still laughing, but after a moment she manages to collect herself, letting out a small cough. "Anyways. We're enemies, we fight, its pretty simple i guesse." She grimaces slightly, as if remembering something "I don't HATE the guy per say, but he's such a genuine ass! plus, when the guy ends up killing one of you friends and the partner of your teammate wellll.. you kind of got to hold him accountable." Enemies

V. Earthspark

"Love that guy. I mean, not genuinely of course, he's an aft, but i don't hate him so i guesse he's cool. He DEFINETLY doesn't like me though, if the glares say anything." She grins "Although, that's probably cause i go bother him whenever i visit the witwicky G.H.O.S.T base. Pretty sure he hates being forced to listen to whatever's on my mind" She snickers "He's interesting to bounce a conversation off of that's for sure." She doesn't know who can read this, so she doesn't voice how she tries to update him on the going ons, or the small energon rations she slips him and the other cons whenever she gets the chance, no matter how grudgingly he accepts them.

V. TFA

"I try to avoid him, at best. This feud of theirs has nothing to do with me and i came to earth to HIDE, although its getting hard to stick to that, especially when screamer boy keeps thinking I'm an autobot." She's pretty neutral about him. Giant annoyance at best.

V. Postwar

"He's not.... THAT bad. He's a decent boss if anything. Sure we butt head's a lot but that's kind of our thing at this point." She chuckled "I don't want to kill him if that's what your asking. What surprised? You wouldn't be the first. But i like my job, as weird as that sounds, and when he's not being the biggest aft to exist, he's decently fun to interact with." She pauses, frowning slightly. "I worry sometimes, but primus knows how he'd react to knowing that. Make fun of me for 'caring' or something of that genre." Worsties

V. Lost light/MTMTE

[zim bestie this is literally only for your lost light verse ur welcome/hj]

"I'll be honest i wasn't, excepting him to be here? I don't seek him out or anything but i keep running into him, be it at swerve's or in some of the quieter spaces on the ship. He's like a pretty cockroach i swear!" Worsties x 5

V. Cyberverse

"Him? Really? Why would you ask me about him? I mean, i don't,, Hate him?? But seriously trying to kill everyone? A little overkill in my opinion." im still working on cherr's cyberverse verse, but she's pretty neutral about him in canon events.

[katapunberbicara]

Why do we tend to be rude to those closest to us?

I seem to gradually have a better understanding about my previous question: why do we tend to be harsher to those closest to us? Perhaps the answer is simply they are the one who will accept you as you are. You can do anything badly and they won't abandon you. This happens in repetition that whenever we do bad things, we still have their backs.

I was first triggered to think about this question, this new year, when news broke off an artist telling inappropriate things about his friend while he was streaming. It was rude of him to say nonsensical thing about his closest one in the stream broadcasted to world wide.

He just randomly said this and that in less than one minute which was booming for few days. In one night, everyone judged him by what he had said and forgot that he was also the same person who used to say motivational words for his listeners. 

As the consequences of his unkindness towards his friend, he had to clarify his actions. He apologised to his friend, and even though they made up, but the pain caused by his rudeness might not go away easily. Many times more painful because it was done by the closest person.

Trying to reflect him with myself, I think he might be us, on a smaller scale, without eyes willing to watch our actions. Probably he is luckier than us, since his misfortune has led him to take corrective actions. He may remember this forever and will not do same mistake in the future. How about us? Are we lucky enough to have someone who will save us from wrongdoing? 

As for me, I may cross the line when I feel connected and close to other people. Sometimes, I could subconsciously say something rude to those closest to me which drowned me into infinite regrets the right moment after. But, tomorrow I will probably slip my tongue again. And it really bothers me to question why do we tend to be rude to the one that we should be good to?

We may sometimes be unkind to those closest to us that we think they would forgive us no matter what. But it is 180 degrees different when interacting with stranger, we tend to be more careful and fully aware. In front of boss and coworkers we try hard to be looked good, because there are consequences if we don't. Like, it will have an impact on salary or the comfort at work.

Meanwhile, at home where we take off the mask and all the artificial attributes, we may behave rather badly. Especially on really dark days when we can not stay bright.

It is really unfair that we used to be good and gentle to strangers, but mean to those closest to us. So it is very fair that the religion has taught us to see the truest form of other people when they are at home. Especially to his wife whom he could have power over her.

"The most complete of the believers in faith, is the one with the best character among them. And the best of you are those who are best to your women. [HR At-Thirmidzi No 1162]”

If you see someone who seems kind, gentle, helpful, and many other good qualities to those closest to him, then it will be no different from the way he treats others. It is just how they are naturally.

Even if there are people out there (whether your family or your friends) who will accept the good and the bad in you, it doesn’t mean you can be easily rude to them. We may have their forgiveness, but the fact that they were once hurt can not ever disappear. It will leave mark as many as you ever disappoint them.

Central Jakarta, 7th November 2022 |  ©Hairatunnisa

[survey--s]

394.

When was the last time you did something you didn’t want to do, to please someone else? I honestly don’t remember.

If you wear mascara, what brand is it? Do you have mascara in any colours other than brown or black? I don’t really wear it anymore but the ones I own are black and I think they’re Maybelline.

Do you have a favourite outfit that you like to wear for nights out? I don’t really go on nights out anymore, ha. If we do go out for a meal or something I normally wear skinny jeans and a jumper, and then flats or boots depending on the weather.

When was the last time you painted your nails? What colour(s)? Years ago, lol. Probably purple.

Do you know what you’re going to wear tomorrow? Ugh, the forecast is awful, so probably walking gear plus waterproofs. And I’m supposed to have a riding lesson which will be great fun in the pissing down rain, hahah.

When you have a soft drink, do you prefer it in a bottle or can? Can or glass bottle. I have a weird thing about drinking out of plastic bottles.

What’s your least favourite alcoholic drink? Whisky.

Do your parents get annoyed if you go out and come home drunk? I mean, I live alone so...it’s not really something they’d know about. They wouldn’t have been too impressed if I’d done it as a teenager though.

Do you like iced tea or coffee? I prefer iced coffee.

Who was the last person to embarrass you? What did they do? I have no idea.

When you’re upset, do you tend to comfort eat or lose your appetite? Comfort eat.

Do you have a friend or relative that turns into a complete ninny when they’ve had too much to drink? Most of my close friends and relatives aren’t big drinkers anymore.

Have you ever eaten so much of a favourite food that you got bored of it? Definitely. I mean, not permanently but I go through phases of wanting to eat certain things and then getting sick of them.

What’s the unhealthiest thing you’ve eaten today? A family sized bag of salt and vinegar crisps, lol.

Who was the last person to send you a message on Facebook? Does/did that person go to the same school as you? Debbie, and no, we’re both fully grown adults.

How is your hair looking today? A mess.

What is your favourite brand of haircare products? Lately, it’s been Pantene but I go through phases.

Have you bought any alcoholic drinks in the past week? No.

Has a stranger ever offered to buy you a drink? Yeah, sure.

Do you know anyone that talks constantly about themselves and never even bothers to ask you how you are? Yeah, my old boss was like that. He didn’t like being called out on it either, lol.

When was the last time you used a public toilet? Uh, Friday I think. Or maybe Thursday.

If the last person that hurt you apologized, what would you say to them? I don’t remember who that was.

Did you go shopping today? Nope. I need to go and get milk tomorrow though.

What was the last thing that put a smile on your face? Toby cat being cute.

What is something you’d be happy to receive as a gift, that doesn’t cost a lot? Books, or wax melt vouchers.

You’re given an extra $10 and told to go and treat yourself. What do you buy? I’d probably go to one of the local cafês one day to have coffee and cake or waffles or something after work as a treat.

Has anyone ever asked for your phone number, and you refused to give it to them? Sure.

When was the last time you used someone else’s phone to text or make a call? Whose phone was it? I have absolutely no idea, probably Mike’s.

Do you have a favourite comfort food, that you absolutely must eat whenever you’re ill or upset? Not a specific food, but I always crave carbs/salty foods when I’m upset.

If you were to decide now that you wanted to get drunk, what alcohol is available in your house? Baileys, wine, vodka and probably some other bits.

What kind of music does your significant other/crush like to listen to? Dance, R&B.

When was the last time you ate cake? What type of cake was it? I had apple pie yesterday if that counts? Otherwise I had coffee cake with Susie a few weeks ago. That was good cake, lol.

Who did you have your first kiss with? Do you remember what colour his/her eyes were? A boy named Jimmi and he had dark brown eyes.

What’s the last letter of your surname? R.

In your phone’s contacts, who is the first person listed under ‘M’? What colour is that person’s hair? My husband - he has brown/grey hair.

Whose Facebook timeline did you post on most recently? I have no idea, I pretty much never do that anymore.

Are there any themes from TV shows that you like to sing along to? Friends, The Big Bang Theory, Frasier.

Kinky question time … to turn you on quickly, where is the best place to touch or kiss you? Neck.

Do your grandparents ever ask you about your love life? My grandparents have all passed away, but yes, they did occasionally.

Do you eat dessert after dinner? I tend to have dinner, then something sweet a few hours later.

Does anyone send you messages to say good morning or goodnight? No. Mike did, but we live together now so it would be silly now.

Have you ever had too much to drink and felt embarrassed about your behaviour the next day? Sure, when I was younger.

Have you ever gone into school/work with a hangover? Work, yeah.

What was the last thing your parents gave you money for? Uhhh, I honestly don’t remember. My mum paid for me beach ride for Christmas but that was a gift rather than just giving me money.

Who were the last people you had a group conversation with on Facebook? I don’t remember, I don’t really like group chats.

The last time you were in a car, who was driving? I was driving. I hate being a passenger as I get carsick.

Who was the last person you took a photo of? Uhh, Mike when we were walking the dogs on Friday.

What was the last thing that stressed you out? Mike not working.

Tell me about your last night out. Did anything interesting or amusing happen? I honestly don’t remember when that was.

Who was the last new artist you came across, that you really liked? Bailey Zimmerman.

What was the last video you watched on YouTube? A TV series but I don’t remember which one.

What was the last song you listened to, that reminded you of someone? Falling in Love by Bailey Zimmerman.

Have you ever told anyone that you were never going to speak to them again, but then you did? Sure, I was very melodramatic as a teenager lol.

How old is the last male you texted? 38.

When you go out drinking, what do you prefer to drink? I don’t go out drinking anymore, really.

What was the last thing a friend bought for you? Coffee and cake.

What colour was the last mug you drank out of? White with multi-coloured polka dots.

Do you have a collection of anything? Wax melts.

Is there a food or drink that you haven’t had before, but would like to try? Genuine Canadian poutine, chicken fried steak.

[organizeworkers]

How can I talk to my co-workers about unionizing without losing my job?

By Shannon Sheu

Recent wins from Starbucks Workers United, the United Auto Workers, and in independent shops like Barboncino have inspired workers not in unions to consider unionizing. But what should you consider when you take those first steps of talking with your co-workers?

The boss can already fire you whenever they want

Organizing at work is a risk in pretty much any workplace. If you choose to organize with your co-workers, you do open up the risk of being fired for organizing.

However, without a union or even a group of militant, organized workers, the boss can fire you or lay you off whenever they want anyway! The status quo is not any safer — it’s just what we’re used to.

With a legally recognized union, though, you can include “just cause” standards for discipline in the contract with your employer. These standards can prevent your employer from disciplining your co-workers without good reason, among other things.

Remember: collectively, you all make the workplace run

The key point is this: It’s usually easy to fire one or two people, but it’s incredibly difficult to fire everyone all at once. Don’t plan or act on your own, plan and act as a group. Nonetheless, think deeply and assess together how easy each of you actually are to fire. 

Not all workers are as easy to fire for organizing. Workers in certain professions, like software engineering, may be harder to replace than, for example, retail workers. That’s something else to consider in your strategy: How often is your company hiring new people? How high is turnover? How easy are you to replace? Have you noticed your management tends to be reluctant to let people go, or do they have a proven track record of firing people or laying people off for whatever they feel like? Are there part-timers in your unit who would be easier to replace than the full-timers? 

Answers to these questions don’t necessarily mean you shouldn’t organize or that you won’t get fired for trying, but they’re important to consider from a strategy standpoint as you and your co-workers decide what action to take.

People do get fired anyway

In the US, we have the National Labor Relations Act (NLRA), section 8, which prohibits unfair labor practices (ULP), like firing people for union organizing. According to this, it’s illegal for a manager to fire you for organizing your co-workers for better conditions. However, even when the law protects you, sometimes the boss doesn’t know what a ULP is, or, sometimes worse, they don’t care!

You can be fired just for organizing, and management may make up whatever excuses they want to cover their asses. Management at Starbucks fired workers and closed stores as part of its intense anti-union campaign, and some were eventually reinstated. Bosses have shut down entire manufacturing plants in response to otherwise successful organizing campaigns.

Be real about the risks with your co-workers

It’s important to be prepared for that when you decide to start organizing. It’s not enough to answer this question for yourself, though. You and your co-workers will have to answer this question together. You will have to motivate each other to keep organizing, sign that petition, or conduct a public action in spite of the risks of retaliation from management or the threats that management throws at you. Among union organizers, we call this “inoculation.”

Don’t downplay the risks with your co-workers; be real with each other. Sit with the difficult emotions and the fear together. Listen to each others’ worries and work through them together. Help each other plan finances or offer to help each other file unemployment and find new jobs after if someone gets fired. Take it as an opportunity to build solidarity and trust with each other.

Organizing a winning campaign will take a lot of time

Organizing, especially leading a campaign, is difficult and anyone who says it is easy is lying to you. The hours you put in will balloon as much as you let them, and things may be slow for a while, but during critical points of a campaign, it will be a lot of work and take a lot of hours. 

You may lose. You and some of your co-workers may get fired. There are things you can try to do to get your jobs back if that happens, such as taking public actions, filing ULPs, etc. People do get their jobs back, but it sucks. It could take months. It’s a lot of work, and it depends a lot on how well you are organized as a group.

The good news is you could also win. You could change people’s lives. Some of your co-workers could become lifelong friends. You all could accomplish what many of you could have never imagined.

And no matter the outcome, you take these lessons you’ve learned about how to fight back against unjust conditions at work into every job you’ll have in the future.

There are no guarantees, but it can still be worth trying, even if you lose

You’re not supposed to promise anything in organizing (seriously, don’t), but I will take a risk and promise you this.

If you

Decide you’re OK with the risks because you believe in a fair workplace more than you feel afraid of losing your job

Really believe that deep down in your soul

Do the best you can to organize your co-workers around widely, deeply felt issues

Create a rank-and-file, worker-led campaign

Then no matter if you win or lose, it will change your life. You will see people and the world around you very differently and you will realize that the power to make change is, as Shawn Fain put very well: not in me, not in you, but us, all of us together. And you will learn what that means in your heart.

Is the hope in your heart greater than the fear?

Every campaign that gets far enough is fundamentally the same, emotionally: It is the fight of the workers’ hope versus the fear the boss tries to instill in them. Anti-union strategies revolve around instilling fear into the workers by firing them, scaring them out of talking to each other, scaring them into huddling into the status quo. It is the workers’ hope for a better future that gives them the bravery to fight on even though the fear is still there.

If you feel moved to do so, I encourage you to reach out to us to get connected with an organizer. Helping folks learn how to start organizing their co-workers is exactly what we do best.

[food4dead]

Ive gotta say this out loud somewhere bc it's eating my brain like a worm. I had an off putting and creepy coworker at an old job of mine that i constantly butted heads with. There were rumors that our boss's boss got him the job (turned out to be true) and he was a genuine creep. Specifically to the girls. And incompetent. Like this guy sucked, no one liked him and i was like fucking batman to the other girls that worked there bc if he cornered them either literally or just into a convo, i would descend on him and tell him to fuck off.

He once offered to tie my apron for me. I told him id rather get third degree burns on my chest from steaming milk than have his hands near my ass. A few weeks later he offered to come with me, alone, to the storage room to "help" me get the stuff we needed. I looked down my nose at him and asked him in what way exactly did he think he was going to be helpful in this endeavor, when he couldn't even put away the truck in that same room in under 5 hours? He said nothing and avoided me after that. I talked shit to my partner about him constantly.

Lo and behold, bf gets a job at that same place years later but as a manager. And that guy is still there! So obviously id primed him to expect the worse of this guy and he did for a while. But then, he starts telling me about how that guy's doing at work now.

He's no longer incompetent, and is actually quite helpful. Ok, good, id sure fuckin hope so after being there for 3+ years.

He's not really a creep, he actually keeps to himself most of the time and is polite to everyone he talks to, especially the girls. ...ok, maybe i actually humbled him more than i thought. Also good.

Then, slowly, my partner starts talking about this guy as if they're friends. Telling me about something funny Guy did at work today, how Guy covered the grill so someone else could go on break and it was a huge help, stuff like that. I asked him about it finally and he was like yeah, Guy really isnt that bad. A little awkward sometimes but i guess he's changed since you've known him. I say it's probably just bc you're also a man but whatever it's not like i have to deal with him anymore.

But then. Partner gets invites to dnd with some of his other coworkers, one of them is a dm apparently and wants to set up a campaign with work friends. Partner goes a couple times, establishes that this is actually fun, and invites me to come next time to watch bc that's what i like to do. So i go. And Guy is there.

Apparently he lives here with 2 other roommates, one of them being the dm that organized this. The other being the son of the director that got him his job. (That's how i was able to confirm the rumors) It's almost incomprehensible to me that Guy is living with roomates. Peacefully. But he is. I walk in with Partner and Guy and I make eye contact. We stare at each other for a second before he approaches me. Instantly I'm ready for a fight, like i felt my face flush and got hit with an adrenaline rush.

He offers me his hand, to shake. I never broke eye contact but i took it. He welcomed me to their home. He told us goodbye when we left. And that was it. He had fun during the campaign but wasnt the abrasive and off kilter person i remembered. I was shaken bc i find it hard to believe that ppl can actually change.

I keep going with Partner to these campaigns whenever i can and it becomes increasingly obvious to me that Guy actually has changed. I obviously still make him nervous, though, as he's especially polite and courteous to me when im there. I'll usually bring my switch with me and play while listening to them run their campaign, and Guy offers me his switch charger every time i do so since the first time i accepted the offer. But he actually is polite and helpful and kind and. Not creepy anymore. And i cant wrap my head around how that happened.

I ask Partner about it eventually and he tells me it actually was the way i treated Guy + his job being threatened (for bs work politics reasons) that ironed him out. Im genuinely shocked but accept this answer. I never really think about why Guy was like that in the first place, just accepted he was a cishet man acting like they do.

Now this brings us to the present. I dont remember why but Partner and i were talking about Guy and how much i used to hate him. I wonder out loud, for the first time, why he was like that. Partner drops the bombshell on me that Guy was a FUCKING FARM BOY. HE WAS RAISED ON A RANCH. DOING RANCH WORK WITH HIS BROTHERS. THIS JOB IS BASICALLY HIS FIRST REAL JOB. THAT'S WHY HE DIDNT FUCKING KNOW HOW TO ACT AROUND OTHER PEOPLE, ESPECIALLY WOMEN, IN A SETTING LIKE THAT. HE DIDNT REALIZE HOW MUCH BIGGER HE WAS THAN THE GIRLS THERE AND THAT WHEN HE GOT TOO CLOSE TO THEM TO TALK TO THEM HE WAS LITERALLY BACKING THEM INTO A CORNER AND LOOMING OVER THEM. HE DIDNT REALIZE THAT OFFERING TO TIE MY APRON WOULD COME OFF AS CREEPY. HE WANTED MY FUCKING HELP TO LEARN THE STORAGE ROOM BETTER BC HE KNEW THAT I KNEW IT AND THATS WHY HE ASKED TO COME WITH ME THAT ONE TIME. AND I JUST. I DONT KNOW.

I'm irritated that i didnt catch that but i have reasons to assume the worst of men that i work with. And now im trying to reconcile this new information about Guy with my previous and current image of him as a maladjusted, creepy weeb turned normal guy but still a weeb. The worst part of it all is that my dad was also a farm boy and acted odd and weird when he was a teen/young adult. He's still got weirdo tendencies as an adult. And as soon as Partner told me Guy was raised on a ranch, my brain drew up my mental image of him alongside my dad and started making comparisons.

I just. Dont know how to feel about him still. My inital gut reaction to the guy was "Creepy. Bad. Not safe. Be vigilant." and unfortunately bc of the way i am, it's extremely difficult for me to change or get past my initial read of someone. So whenever i see Guy i still get the initial gut drop feeling but then i have to scoop it out of my intestines and tell it to get a grip. It would have been so much easier if he had just stayed a creep (<- joking). But i am glad he grew as a person and no longer makes his feminine coworkers uncomfortable. But that means now i have to, too. And im just now realizing this is the first time im having to do something like this. I guess that's why i cant stop thinking about it

[glitched-ashes]

I would like to take a brief moment to let something out of my chest, even if it's by quietly whispering it to the void that is my blog. I will take a deep breath, put it into words, perhaps shed a tear or two. After that, back to my Sisyphean tasks.

I feel like I'm at the end of an era. Everything that has been a part of my identity for the past decade seems to be coming to an end. And everywhere I look, things seem to get more and more bleak. This is about a dead-end job, this is about capitalism and the economy, this is about the wars, this is about health, about self-identity, this is about a silly Youtuber retiring, this is about a new wave of people joining my hobby's community, this is about nostalgia, this is about anxiety, this is about loneliness and this is about me slowly falling to ruin both physically and psychologically.

I feel like something was taken from me years ago, and I haven't been able to rebuild myself since then. Most days are hard, but manageable. I am mostly trapped in the same loop, whether it's a dirty mess of a house where I have to do almost all chores because my partner doesn't notice them, a dead-end job where there is almost nothing to do but lie to people because my boss is even more irresponsible than I am, or going back to my family where I am treated like a child and all agency is taken away from me because "they know better". I'm 30, btw.

I used to say that my true home was my car. It was the only place I could call my own, where I called the shots and chose where the wheels would take me. But my car is old and beaten now, and I don't have the money nor the capacity to just hit the road whenever I need therapy. So it lies parked wherever I can, waiting for me to need him as much as I wait for someone to need me.

So I'm left with doing chores around the house while listening to YouTube, browsing Tumblr/Reddit on my way to work, crying whenever I see something that reminds me of my failed dreams, or remembering old times when I was a capable human being with skills, hobbies and meaningful social connections.

I'm not getting any younger. None of us are. My skills have rusted, my hobbies feel like a burden, and I have been forgotten by most of my peers. I kept trudging on. But my strength is slowly waning. And the things that helped me push my sails forward, the small stuff that was there consistently enough for me to lean on whenever I needed a distraction or an extra push... Are slowly going away. The internet of today is not where I grew up. Hell, it's not even the same from a couple years ago!

Soon, the wind that pushes my sails will be exclusively composed of the hollow words of encouragement of people that are just as stuck in the mud as I am, and the budding sense of bitter retaliation that is growing inside my chest. I know I bear this seed of hatred embedded into my heart, because with every day that passes I desperately wish for someone to try to hurt me.

I am at the end of an era. Whoever I was during my golden days was replaced by a twisted reflection, one where bravery and boldness had been replaced with cowardice and anxiety. But the next reflection, which replaced the previous one, is even more twisted and insidious. I don't even know who, or what, or why I am. All I know is that it's slowly fading away. And I am afraid of what comes next.

I miss the old days.

I should have been more brave when I had to step up.

Otherwise, I should have died in that car crash.

[crownedone9x9]

Journal mixing business and recovery 01/26/23

Hey, weirdo’s! So I started a new schedule with this job. It has been nice so far, well very stressful and a lot to take in. Still though, I know I can do it. It’s life insurance, which is a big step up from busser that’s for sure. Some of you kind of got pissed at me yesterday. I kind of sent a group text to a lot of my contacts. Some of them were NA contacts. Which I felt kind of weird about anyway before I did it. my boss said or told me to do it. He said after the fact it was just a suggestion. He made me feel as though it was not. Peer pressure is a powerful thing. anyway, the next thing I knew, it had blown up in my face completely. Anywhere from NA people scolding me to not mix recovery and business. People are telling me to go to hell and suck a dick. It was bad, to say the least when the dust settled. I really wanted a cigarette. I asked for one when my boss suggested that I come outside and cool down. Which was a good idea. He told me that he was not going to enable me. Which is good so far. He is a great boss. I just wished that I had gone with my gut and not sent that text. My sponsor even told me it was not a good idea. So from now on, I will try to remember that despite what anyone says. What I should do from now on is listen to the truth. Know that peer pressure comes in many forms. Now I love my boss. I know I have many layers of bosses. The Agency Director is the man who told me to come outside with him. Then there is his boss and she has a boss and so on so forth. This job mostly has a lot to do with my motivation to sell and get my name out there. If one person had said yes to that text, then it would have been worth it. However, I know that I have to get used to talking to strangers first before I can convince friends. Because friends know me and my past and would just look at this like a phase. I have had a lot of them. Hopefully, I am cut out for this. I have to get used to rejection, though. I have not had someone cuss me out over the phone YET. I know it will happen, though, and I don’t have cigarettes anymore, so I'm not sure how I am going to get over that. Going outside and soaking up the positive energy from the trees. Praying while taking a deep breath might work. If I have the kind of attitude that it won’t guess what… it won’t. I really like my trainer. She just brought me a day planner to schedule with. She also believes in Jesus, which is nice, because I can talk to her about bible study. Which was yesterday night. I kind of wish I had gone to a meeting instead, but if I take care of my heart, mind, soul, and strength, then I’ll be good. I am taking care of my mind right now by getting this stuff out there. My parents would say not to let the world know my business. Honestly, I could care less. If someone finds this helpful, then It was a success. God loves you, anyway he believes in you even if you don’t. Have a good day or night Weirdo’s. Whenever and whoever reads this.