#i should die. i deserve to die. im not good for anything and then my money can go to people who deserve it more

[semercury]

Can't go shopping by myself or I'll end up donating $450. Got it.

[stargazingpsychotic]

I don't think I've had to exist so long before and now I am starting to feel something awful

[aashiq-bf]

I lied

[tradingjackbs]

It is annoying being told I need to get over the domestic violence committed against me and forgive the person who did it

Like I get she's my sister but I already did that once and all that happened was she fuckin tried it again later like ?????? I'm learning my lesson instead of risking it for the 3rd fuckin time. Goddamn I give her enough chances and eventually she is going to fucking kill me, and then what???

[imaginesomethingrand]

Feeling totally irrelevant and unloved and forgotten...

[isildheir]

[super-psycho-lov3]

.

[elliesdoll]

pt. 3 to my angsty loser!ellie thingy 𝜗𝜚

pt.1 pt.2

nsfw! ellie cries lol, it’s kinda sweet? giggly sex at first, boobie sucking, ellie is kind of a weirdo idk… she makes out with your pussy, oral(e!receiving), fingering (e!recieving), squirt alert!, ellie cums way too fast, tribbing, desperate ellie like damn shes genuinely tweakinf. this is lowkey so nasty idk wut came over me

this is kinda long im sorry… AND NOT PROOFREAD im too lazy for allat. forgive me for any typos i will not be fixing!😊

daily click don’t buy tlou palestine mp

she had no fucking clue what to do. maybe she could pull her pants up and push herself through the tiny ass window above your shower? leave and block your number, move towns, and change her name. maybe that would work.

she shamefully pulled her sweatpants up and wiped her wet fingers on the fabric, then hid her face in her hands. what the fuck was she gonna do now? she was so sick, so perverted. all ellie could do was imagine you in your room right now, feeling so betrayed by your closest friend for being so perverted in the safety of your own home.

ellie was secretly praying to die right in this moment. she’d die happily, if zeus decided to strike her down with a lightning bolt and disintegrate her, right on your tiled floor. why was she like this? she loved you so much, she couldn’t help shoving her hand in her pants at the sight of you. but in a sick way, it wasn’t from lust.

it was from love.

ellie told herself she had some sick masturbation problem, and she probably needed to be put on some medication for being fucking insane. she just couldn’t help it. your kindness made her heart swell so much that it made her horny, in the weirdest way.

ellie had gotten horny from other things before, sure. but that’s all it was. lust. you, you made her horny in the same way that you made her tummy get butterflies. she just wanted to love on you. she had so much love and affection to give, the only way to release it was through taking care of herself, shamefully.

which is what led her to be in the predicament she’s in right now. she swore she’d never masturbate again, after this.

after maybe 10 minutes of sitting in silence, she decided to leave the bathroom. no use in staying there forever.

the walk down the hall to your room felt so suspenseful and wya too fucking long. maybe it’s because her steps got slower the closer she got.

she had already composed what she was going to say to you. “I don’t know what you saw, but it’s not what it looks like.” and go from there. But the second she entered through the door and saw you sitting on your bed, looking up at her with the most intense look in your eyes, all that went out the window.

“i am so sorry.”

she mumbled, her throat having this large, suffocating lump in it from the urge to cry. before you could say anything back, she spoke again.

“i’m so fucking sorry, i don’t know what i was thinking. i— im so fucked up i know, you didn’t deserve that—“

she continues on, her hands gripping so tightly on the bottom of her hoodie, to the point her knuckles turn white. she doesn’t even realize the tears that spill down her face, not until the look on your face changes. your eyebrows raise, and you look almost like you’re pitying her.

“els… stop that. it’s okay. you’re fine.”

you say, standing up and getting right in front of her. you almost wanted to say sorry for intruding on her, but honestly— what the hell was she doing that for in the first place? you didn’t pry, only wanting to calm her down.

“i thought we could laugh it off. yknow.. like something we could look back on and smile about. no need to cry.”

you say softly to her, using that gentle voice you had whenever you wanted to be sincere. you even go as far as to wipe some of the wetness off her cheek with your thumb.

you were so good to her. she should be relieved to hear your response, but she’s not. it only makes her more frustrated.

“i can’t.”

she looks down at the floor, unable to look you in the eye.

“can’t? can’t what?”

you’re confused, why can’t she just move on from it? you really wanted to bury this memory and stay the way you were.

“i can’t move on.”

she blurts out, a few stray tears still rolling down her cheeks. you just stare at her for a moment, and then it clicks.

“oh.”

you knew exactly what she meant by that. the poor girl, she had her feelings for you all pent up inside of her for god knows how long. you felt terrible, for making her feel even worse about this whole thing. but at the same time, you felt unreasonably giddy.

the fact that ellie, your very bestest friend, had such a big crush on you that it brought her to tears? how flattering is that? you always had a little thing for her, but you brushed yours up as some silly friend crush.

but her tiny confession made your heart pound like nobody has done before.

you grab her hands and lead her to your bed, sitting her down in front of you. you were gonna set this right.

“ellie, why didn’t you tell me?”

she looks at you as if you were dumb. why in the hell would she ever admit her undying love for her best friend?

“because you’re… i don’t fucking know! you’re my best friend nd’ i didn’t wanna mess things up— n’ you have those stupid fuck buddies of yours and—“

oh, the fuck buddies. you now realize why ellie was so quick to leave your home that day she showed up unannounced. the poor baby probably had her feelings so hurt.

“you know, there’s a reason i never actually end up dating them, ellie. that’s all they were to me. they didn’t really make me… feel.”

you say, wiping the tears off her cheeks with one thumb. the way she looked at you made your heart melt.

“..huh? feel what?”

she raises an eyebrow, completely missing what you’re saying. you laugh, covering your eyes for a moment. you forgot you’re talking to ellie. you kinda have to spell it out for her.

“dude. i’m saying that you make me feel.”

she stares at you blankly. she really is doesn’t wanna assume, too afraid of embarrassing herself. you sigh.

“fuck, ellie. i like you too.”

you’ve never seen the girls eyes get so wide. is this even fucking real? ellie couldn’t believe her reddened ears. she doesn’t even have the capacity to feel embarrassed anymore. all she feels is absolute, genuine shock.

“are… are you sure?”

she asks quietly, sniffling a bit. the girl’s nose was still running from her humiliating breakdown in front of you. you almost get pissed at her stupid question.

“yes? the hell?”

you narrow your eyes at her, giving her shoulder as slight shove. she grunts and shoves you back, playfully.

“i was just making sure! i can’t tell if you’re fucking with me.”

“why would i be fucking with you? i’m not evil, ellie.”

she just shrugs, and lets out a slight giggle. she smiles a bit, wiping her damp, sticky face. god, how you loved her smile. it was the sweetest thing ever. both of you giggled for a minute, laughing at the absurdity of this whole thing.

after a few seconds of comforting laughter and smiles between the two of you, you realize ellie isn’t gonna make a move. of course she isn’t, even after that confession. ellie would never make the first move, no way in hell. so, you lean in and give her a quick peck on the lips, less than a second long. it caught her completely off guard.

her eyes widened so much, and her eyebrows raised so far up. you literally saw her cheeks redden, like you two were in a movie. she couldn’t stop herself from beaming at you. a large, toothy grin right that made her cheeks hurt. she didn’t even say anything, just grabbing the sides of your face and bringing you in for a kiss again.

she kisses so hard. her lips push against yours, you could feel her smiling against your mouth. she pulls apart for a second, just looking at you. then, she moves right back in.

the kiss is softer this time, more passionate. in ellie’s mind, she was gonna do this right. she’s gone over in her head thousands of times what she would do if she got to kiss you, to make love with you. she couldn’t mess this up.

you two make out for a bit, the smacking noises from the kissing makes your head feel fuzzy. you’re still pretty wet, from the kissing and the sight you saw earlier. after you pull away from her lips for some air, you give her this look. you want more.

“is.. is this okay?”

ellie asks, slowly kissing your neck and stopping just to look at your reaction. you smile and nod, finding her mannerisms to be too fucking cute. she was so eager.

ellie was in heaven. your skin tasted so good, and you smelled like you. her favorite scent. she peppered kisses over every square inch of your neck and shoulders, her hands resting on your hips. she didn’t dare move your top though, too scared to initiate it.

you slowly moved her shaky, clammy hands to the bottom of your little top, letting her grab it and guiding her hands upwards. you whispered to her in a reassuring tone.

“els, it’s okay.”

she just looks at you, pupils blown and nods. she slowly pulled your top off and over your head, letting your tits spill out right in front of her. of course she noticed you weren’t wearing a bra the second she came over, but it still took her breath away.

“holy fuck.”

she muttered, staring right at your tits. they’re better than she imagined. and she imagined them to be the most perfect tits ever. she couldn’t help herself, poor baby. she just had to lean in and take one of your nipples into her mouth. her left hand flew to your other breast, kneading the soft flesh.

the quick action made you gasp lightly, letting out a tiny whine at the feeling of her teeth nipping at your skin. she was tasting you. you felt her warm face press against your skin, as if she was trying to suffocate herself. you got a bit worried, so you tapped her cheek.

“e-els, you gotta breathe—“

you were cut off by her lips popping off your breast, a string of saliva connecting your nipple to her lips. she murmured a quiet “fuck me,” and immediately went to your other nipple, repeating the same motion.

your eyes almost roll to the back of your head. how the fuck was she so good with her tongue? the way she eagerly licked over your nipples until they hardened in her mouth, nipping at them softly. literally eating your fucking tits right in front of you.

“you’re so fucking beautiful. so so beautiful.”

ellie mumbles to you, forcing herself to get off your boobs. she could spend the rest of her life right there, but there was more to tend to. her hands went to the hem of your shorts, looking at you for permission.

as much as you wanted to say yes and let her do whatever the hell she wanted, you wanted to see her even more. you tug lightly on her hoodie, giving her a gentle smile.

“take this off first?”

say less. say fucking less, is all ellie thought. she stuttered out a quiet “okay, okay,” and nodded, messily pulling her hoodie off of her. you giggled as it got stuck on her head, and it made her giggle along with you. neither of you could stop laughing at any little thing the other one did.

you sighed at the sight of her in her sports bra and sweats, but you wanted that shit off too. ellie wasted no time either, immediately pulling off her sports bra. you didn’t even get to admire her beautiful tits before you saw her pulling her sweats off and kicking them to the side, leaving her in her spongebob boxers. they had spongebob printed all over them.

“interesting fashion choice,”

you said through a laugh, and ellie just smiled awkwardly. she would’ve chosen a different pair if she knew she was gonna do this. fuck her stupid past self for buying that pack of spongebob-themed boxers at spencer’s a few months ago.

“god, don’t look.”

she muttered, moving closer and kissing you again. you kissed back softly, still giggling a bit. nobody made you laugh as effortlessly as she did. her thumbs hooked around the soft fabric of your shorts and panties, pulling them down in one go.

all the words ellie wanted to say died in her mouth. she laid down between your thighs and was face to face with your pussy. your pussy. she thought she was going to faint, she swore she felt her vision going.

gorgeous, that’s the only word to describe you. you were absolutely soaked, your slick making your puffy pussy lips shine and look tantalizingly supple. your swollen clit, and those gorgeous folds. somebody pinch her.

the scent of your arousal filled her nostrils, and she moaned. a deep, guttural moan from the pit of her stomach, just by smelling you. your cheeks were so warm, as you lifted your head to peek down at her. you were gonna say something, but your throat closed on you the second her lips touched your cunt.

this, this was new. ellie had her nose and mouth shoved deep into your cunt, your wetness and warmth englufing her. you expected to feel her tongue push out her lips and onto you, but no. the first thing you felt was her inhaling. her nose sniffed your pussy so deeply, you fucking heard it. you looked down, confused, seeing a half-lidded ellie groan as she inhaled your scent. you didn’t say anything, literally just watching. nobody’s ever gotten off to your scent before, like ever. but shit, it turned you on way too much.

she mumbled something incomprehensible against your pussy, then slowly, languidly, started lapping at your cunt. her tongue pushing through your dripping folds and collecting every single drop of slick you had, and fucking swallowing it. swallowing after every couple of licks. you moaned, because what the actual fuck.

how did she make this so fucking hot?

it felt so good, but it wasn’t enough to make you cum. it was too slow. your hips greedily moved and pushed against her lips, but she didn’t increase her pace one bit. she was clearly doing this for her own pleasure. too pussydrunk to care. her eyelids were so low, but you saw her staring at you the entire time she ate you out. like clockwork, her tongue dipping into your hole, drinking you up like you were liquid gold.

after hearing enough of your desperate whines for more, she slowly moved herself up, the lower half of her face was completely drenched. she kissed the soft mound of your cunt, then up your tummy, through the valley of your breasts, and finally slowly kissed your lips again. tasting yourself on her tongue made you feel brain dead.

“eat my pussy, please…”

she murmured against your lips, giving you the tiniest peck on your mouth after she spoke. since when did she get so bold? it made you embarrassingly wet.

who were you to say no to her?

you simply nodded, and gently pushed her to the side so she could lay down on her back. you immediately got between her legs, as she planted her feet on the mattress. shit, she was so eager.

she lifted her butt and chuckled quietly as you pulled off her silly boxers. once they’re off, you’re met with the most beautiful sight. her auburn bush, decorating her cunt so delicately. it made your mouth pool with saliva. her pretty, red and needy clit poking out, just begging to be touched. she was so wet. you don’t think you’ve ever seen a cunt dripping this much before. she was already clenching in and out softly, drops of arousal leaking out of her and forming a tiny droplet on your bedsheets. you could’ve came from the sight.

“how long have you been wanting this?”

you ask her quietly, pressing a gentle kiss to her clit. her hips bucked into your face, and you smiled.

“ssss—so fucking long. needed you from the start… fucked myself to you s’much…”

she just kept spilling her guts to you, just trying to get you to put your fucking mouth on her cunt. your fidgety, nervous ellie that you knew turned into a completely shameless slut for you.

“yeah? you could’ve told be earlier, els.”

you tease her lightly, and she just whines desperately. you decide not to deprive her any longer, and lick a long stripe up her soaked pussy. she groans, hands flying to your hair and gripping it. your tongue licked over her clit, making her hips jolt upwards and further into your face. you had her a mess, babbling anything through grunts.

“mmh, so good…”

“jjjust like that, fuck me…”

“i-i love you. love you s’fuckin much,”

you kept sucking on her clit, letting her hips grind against your lips to her hearts desire. your left hand went to hold hers, your fingers being gripped so tightly that you felt your knuckles pop.

your right hand went straight to her pussy, unlatching your mouth from her clit so you can gather some wetness on your fingers. she groaned, and you slowly pushed in your middle and ring finger once they were slick enough. your lips went right back to her clit, sucking and licking on it again.

you got a good two pumps into her cunt before you felt them being squeezed tightly, and her voice suddenly turning high pitched and whiny.

“oh fuck!!— m’cuh.. cumminggg…”

she said quite loudly, and before you could even register what she was saying, you felt a large spurt of liquid splash onto your face. you slowly kept pumping your fingers, taking your mouth away as she literally drenched your entire face with her very theatrical squirt.

she squirted on you after only a minute.

you blinked, slowly pulling your fingers out of her and letting her catch her breath. once she regained most of her sanity from that, the humiliation set in.

she wasn’t supposed to cum that fast.

“oh shit, i’m sorry. i didn’t think… fuck.”

she said a breathlessly, looking down at your drenched face. she was so embarrassed, cumming pathetically fast. she wasn’t even properly fingered and she already made a mess all over you and your poor bed. but honestly, you didn’t care.

“ellie. that was probably the hottest thing you could’ve done.”

you smile at her, sitting up and wiping your face a bit, licking the residue off your hand. you give her a soft kiss on the lips, getting ready to settle next to her. but ellie has a different plan in mind.

“wait, i wanna make you cum.”

she’s shy with her words, as if she wasn’t slutting herself out for you less than a minute ago. she sits up, not letting you turn down her offer. she wants to make you feel good so bad. so, you let her do her thing.

but when she situates herself between your legs once more, lifting your right leg over her shoulder and kissing your calf lightly, you speak up.”

“oh, els. you’re not too overstimulated for that?”

you protest lightly, not wanting her to push herself. she shakes her head, not wanting to back down from this. this is what she’s wanted for so long. to make love to you, in the most intimate way possible.

“let me do this for you, please.”

her voice is soft and desperate, practically begging you. how could you turn down that offer. you smile warmly at her, and she takes it as your green light. she whispers a tiny “i love you” before lowering her sopping cunt and slotting it right against yours.

euphoric. mind fucking blowing. both you and ellie gasped at the sensation. your sticky, warm pussies pushed up against each other felt so good. you let out a slightly strained moan, and ellie slowly started to move her hips in a rhythm against yours. poor baby couldn’t even focus on her overstimulated clit— she was desperate to make you cum. and it felt way too good.

“oh, right there.. so good ellie.”

you let out a string of praises to her, and she just kept moving. the sloshing noises of your cunts mashed together was mind numbing. ellie definitely wanted to cry.

the way you two made love was so intimate. she felt so connected to you, no words could describe it. she started at your face with a fucked out expression, continuing the movement of her hips.

“gon…gonna cum, els…”

you warn her, and she keeps going. her hand grips onto your leg so tightly, fucking her cunt onto yours so deliciously.

“i know baby, i know. m’close too. gonna cum with you, okay?”

she rambles, voice unstable and shaky as you both reach your breaking point. you nod and keep whining broken parts of her name, your nails digging into her forearm.

with one last thrust, you two cum basically at the same time, your cunts leaking onto each other. she keeps moving her hips slowly until the overstimulation sets in, which forces her to pull away from you, her weak body plopping right down next to yours.

both of you lay in silence for a few moments, just enjoying your post-orgasm bliss. ellie’s hand snakes back over to yours, and your fingers immediately intertwine the second they touch. she looked at you with all the love in the world. and of course, you did the same right back at her.

she was still your best friend though, so you had to push her around just a bit.

“so, you wanna tell me why you own spongebob boxers?”

ellie smiles and shoves you lightly. yeah, she was so in love with you.

Ok baiii i hope u guys liked it! :3 i can’t tell if im satisfied with it but i tried… sending love xoxo

taglist: @lil-elliesgf @a-little-bit-of-everybody 🩷

[literaila]

megumi's demon dogs cuddling with reader and satoru gets jealous 🤭

“you’re just doing this on purpose.”

“leave us alone, satoru. or better yet, go get us a snack. i think there’s some jerky in the pantry.”

satoru sighs and walks to the kitchen counter, where megumi is attempting to write a report. “megumi,” satoru says, his voice trying to be rough. “release them.”

megumi doesn’t even look at him. “why? they’re playing.”

“they’re stealing my wife.”

“we’re not married!” you call, and resume cooing at the dog on your lap.

“megumi, im lost without her. i might die. don’t you want to help me?”

“not really.”

satoru scoffs, leaning against the counter, on top of megumi’s papers. “i’m the reason you have them, you know.”

“i don’t use your shadows for summoning,” megumi retorts, trying to push him off.

“why not? they’re probably better than everyone else’s.”

“i don’t trust you.”

satoru remains where he is, pouting.

“satoru,” you call, from the couch, “let megumi do his homework.”

“yeah, satoru,” megumi says, pulling his hair.

“it’s papa to you.”

megumi mimes throwing up. then he pinches satoru’s ear, which is evil and who knows who taught him that? (you did).

“go away, gojo.”

“they’re probably tired,” satoru whispers. “you should give them a break.”

“don’t!” you say, laughing when one of them licks your face.

satoru watches, a devastating frown on his face.

“you’re so sweet,” you’re telling them, in a voice satoru doesn’t think he’s ever heard you use. “how’d you get so sweet?”

if satoru was a dog, his tail would probably wag at just the sound of your voice too.

he’s never wanted to hurt an animal more.

“hey,” megumi pokes satoru’s cheek. “can you move?”

“not until you give me my wife back.”

“she’s just petting them.”

“she’s neglecting me.”

“if you grow some fur, i’ll pet you too,” you tell satoru, still not paying any attention to him.

“what about my beautiful skin?”

“meh. overrated.”

“just say you hate me.”

you roll your eyes but you still haven’t looked at satoru, or smiled at him, or told him that you love him today.

how is he supposed to go on like this? the kids were trouble enough. now he has to fight two dogs?

“megumi, what if i give you—“

“i told you to stop bribing the children,” you interrupt, shaking your head. “i already told him, yes i did,” you say to the dogs, voice full of fake sympathy.

“i don’t want your money anyway.”

“how about my love and affection?”

megumi raises an eyebrow, his face far too amused for satoru’s liking.

“tsumiki would never treat me like this.”

“you can go pick her up,” you tell him. “just say that you missed her. she’ll probably be fine with you dragging her away from her friends because you’re jealous and lonely. most teenagers wouldn’t mind that.”

megumi laughs.

“i don’t deserve this.” satoru stands up, huffing at both of you, and walking down the hall towards his room. “i’m gonna find a home where im appreciated.”

you coo again. “good luck! ask them to send us some snacks.”

satoru groans, leaning against the wall.

“can we really send him away?” megumi asks you as soon as he thinks satoru is gone.

“mmm,” you pretend to think about it. “it’d be a hard sell.”

“i can make the posters.”

at that, satoru turns right around, bursting back into the room with a scoff. but before anyone can say anything, he walks over to where you are on the couch and falls on your lap.

“ugh, satoru,” you say, groaning as you adjust to his body weight on yours.

“you’re not getting rid of me that easily.”

you roll your eyes, but resume your petting—this time it’s satoru at your will, though. he basically purrs into your touch. “i knew it was too good to be true.”

“should i still make that ad or…”

satoru throws a pillow at him in retaliation and you just shake your head. but it doesn’t seem to matter who you’re petting, as long as there’s someone there.

[rashomonss]

I couldn't stop thinking about this after reading your "Readjusting" hc

Imagine that the reason MC started acting like a "proper" attendant was because Barbatos couldn't stand how improper and casual Mc was with the brothers. He decides to take her under his wing but he isn't gentle about it, not even when it becomes clear that MC is human, on the contraire, he becomes harsher with his methods until even the brothers notice. Meanwhile MC could be in the state of mind to believe that they deserve to be treated in such ways because they feel guilty over letting everyone assume they were a demon

Also think about how this treatment would affect MC relationship with Barbatos. Imagine MC slipping up in front of him and immediately tensing and starting to apologize. How scared MC would be of even the thought of doing something NB!Barbatos though them was wrong and undignified of her to do/say as the brothers attendant.

And how heartbroken OM!Barbatos would be at seeing MC be so terrified of him.

so I’m currently deep diving thru my drafts and inbox and this was from forever ago so I’m so sorry I’m only getting it done now (,,Ծ‸Ծ,, )

anyway oh. my. god.

i absolutely love this idea! the angst potential this ask has is literally to die for. i’ll be incorporating a few of my readjusting ideas as well and yeah i know nightbringer didn’t go in this direction but im going in it anyway, so i hope yall enjoy! (๑>؂•̀๑)

you’re nothing more and nothing less

You admired yourself in the mirror then stared at the reflection looking back at you. 

Sighing you gave yourself a small smile, then remembered his words before giving yourself one last look in the mirror. 

“You really do look decent when you know how to clean up.” 

An attendant is supposed to look sharp, and presentable no matter the circumstance. They are a direct representation of who they’re serving. How was a noble demon supposed to take the seven rulers of hell seriously if their attendant didn’t even know how to properly dress or present themselves? 

Your tie had to be perfectly crisp and presentable, same with the cuffs of your uniform; not a wrinkle should be present. Next, your preferred uniform bottom was ironed with no wrinkle in sight, and your shoes shined to the point you could see your reflection. Each plead and fold was sharp, crisp, and perfect.

Your hair looked presentable and you carried out your normal face routine making sure you looked awake and ready for the day. Finally, you organized your belongings and sat them by your table in a neat fashion ready to be grabbed once you headed off to RAD. 

You then made your way to the kitchen and prepared breakfast for everyone as well as coffee and tea for those who usually required it. 

As you were finishing up most of the food Beel walked into the kitchen heading straight for the fridge. “Morning MC,” he said catching his breath. 

“Good Morning Beel, how was your run? Also, your snack is on the counter so please refrain from eating anything in the fridge,” you replied, as you continued cooking. 

“Oh thank you.” he smiled while closing the fridge. As he sat at the counter watching you cook he couldn’t help but become confused at the sight. “Wasn’t it Levi’s turn to make breakfast this morning?” 

“It was but he stayed up late last night, and I had a feeling he would oversleep so I took the liberty of making it myself. Not to worry though because I have nothing against cooking for all of you” 

Beel frowned in response “Yeah but this is the third day in a row you’ve prepared breakfast and dinner” 

“Is it now? Well I have no problems with it unless the rest of you do, I am your attendant after all.”

Beel stopped eating and frowned again, “MC you’re an exchange student from the human realm. You’re back home; there’s no reason for you to still act as our attendant.”

You didn’t respond, instead you finished up the food and began to plate each brothers breakfast. Beel tried to speak again but you cut him off.

“Apologies but could you do me a favor and wake up your brothers for breakfast? I wouldn’t want them to be late for classes.”

Beel gave you a sympathetic look and nodded just before leaving the kitchen.

You did stop to think about his words though. After all everything that happened in the past didn’t need to be continued in the present, you could go back to living how you normally did before.

The only problem was that you didn’t know how to go back to that carefree lifestyle. After being on edge constantly while being stuck in the past you found yourself adapting to that lifestyle. So breaking it all of a sudden was much harder than everyone understood.

Humans are adaptable creatures, they adapt and survive to whatever environment they are thrown into, no matter the circumstances; at least that’s how he explained it.

He drilled it into your head that if you wanted to survive against the best of the best you needed to be superior in every way. It didn’t matter to him if you were a demon or human, neither was an acceptable excuse for not being absolutely perfect.

This mindset had been engraved into your soul during the small time period you were there, so for everyone to just tell you to forget about it was something you couldn’t do even if you tried. They all needed to accept that this was how you were now; and maybe with due time you’ll revert back to your old self.

Numerous voices could be heard in the dining room causing you to snap out of your thoughts. You sighed and then took a deep breath before walking into the room with everyone’s plates.

“Good morning everyone, how’s are all of you?” You asked placing plates in front of each brother at the table.

“Mornin’ MC, I’m fine how are ya?” Mammon said yawning.

“I’m good thank you for asking, but I would be even better if you fixed your tie and shirt” you smiled, placing his food in front of him.

“Dah you sound like Lucifer…” he groaned. It did work however because he buttoned up his shirt and tightened his tie before eating, to which you smiled at him in response.

“That goes for all of you as well, fix your uniforms please.” you said, placing the last plate in Lucifer’s spot. Each groaned and fixed themselves as well before they began to eat.

A laugh was then heard from the doorway which made you look up in response. The oldest then greeted you with a kiss to the cheek before sitting down.

“I see your keeping them on a tighter leash than I am.” Lucifer said looked up at you.

“Well of course. How is anyone supposed to take the seven of you seriously when you don’t even wear the uniform properly.” The room fell silent and Lucifer raised an eyebrow. “Thank you MC, but you realize that you don’t have to worry about our images anymore. You know your home correct..? You don’t have to continue being our attendant.”

You sighed then spoke after a few minutes. “Thank you for your concern I appreciate it, but if you’ll excuse me I have to get the dishes clean”

“Wait you’re not having breakfast with us dear?” Asmo asked worried.

“You haven’t eaten with us at all since you came back. Come on MC, please?” Satan then said.

“I appreciate the concern but I already ate. Thank you for the offer though, I do appreciate it. Now if you’ll excuse me.”

“As their attendant you should not be eating with them unless permitted on a special occasion. It’s basic etiquette as a servant to eat in the kitchen. So you will eat when I eat. Understand?”

That phrase popped in you head again and you sighed heading towards the kitchen.

. . .

The walk to RAD was normal, for you at least, the brothers were a different story entirely.

They tried engaging with you or even walking next to you but you stayed silent and walked behind them.

Normally you’d walk at the same pace and would engage in any kind of small talk but ever since you returned walks to a from RAD had been awkward for the brothers.

Barbatos never walked next to Diavolo, and he taught you to do the same with the brothers.

“You aren’t from the same status, so you should take your place behind them as a result.”

That phrase played in your head as Mammon talked to you about his latest new scheme. You realized that he was walking at the same pace you were so you slowed down ever so slight and engaged in a bit of small talk with him.

The second born frowned as he saw you retreating again, so with a sigh he finished talking and walked a bit faster to catch up with the eldest.

You could see them shorting you glances and whispering to each other but neither said a word to you.

You understood they probably weren’t a fan of this behavior either, but it’s not as if you could break it anytime soon, after all what would he think if you were acting casual with everyone again?

. . .

“Good morning MC” Barbatos spoke, smiling as he slightly waved at you.

Upon seeing him your posture straightened up and you immediately greeted him back with a wave and a nod, in the same fashion he greeted you with. You held eye contact for a brief moment then looked over towards Lucifer.

“I believe we should head out now. There’s paperwork to be done. It was lovely running into you but we’ll be on our way now” you said to the butler.

Before he even had a chance to respond you grabbed Lucifer and dragged him through the hall leaving a confused Barbatos alone in the hallway.

Lucifer tried to question you about your behavior towards the butler but you always avoided talking about it.

Diavolo tried his hand as well and you had given him the same excuse you gave Lucifer. Sighing, the two decided to talk to you over tea instead, hoping that it might calm the mood.

So you followed Lucifer into the council room where Diavolo sat, waiting with a smile. The minute you saw him you smiled back, but soon tensed when Barbatos appeared behind him.

“Sit down MC” Diavolo gestured as soon as you reached the table.

You bowed slightly and did as you were told, making sure to keep yourself in line while Barbatos was present.

Barbatos from the past despised when you were casual with Lord Diavolo and shut down your relationship with him the second he took you as an apprentice.

As Diavolo began to speak you listened attentively and sat up straight making sure to hold eye contact just as Barbatos had instructed you to do before

“MC…” he started. “I understand that it's taken you awhile to try and readjust to everything again, and while we don’t want to pester your progress we do want to talk to you about a few things.”

Were you in trouble? Your heart sank to your stomach as you gripped your uniform bottoms under the table.

“What can I help you with then?” You asked.

“Well for starters you needn’t be so tense, we’re close after all! It’s okay to let loose around us” Diavolo smiled as he gestured towards Lucifer who nodded in response.

“I thank you for your concern, and I will try to relax as you asked” you then nodded.

Your formal response tugged at a frown on Diavolo’s face. “Thank you, now then let’s enjoy some tea.” he said, trying to quickly change the subject.

You froze on the spot as Barbatos brought out the cart of tea and a few snacks. Immediately you jumped up and helped him set the table, much to everyone’s surprise.

“MC, you can leave it to me.” Barbatos said after a moment.

“I understand” you nodded yet still continued picking up the tray of snacks and placing plates in front of Lucifer and Diavolo.

After you finished you stepped behind Barbatos, almost as if you were his shadow. With a sigh he turned to you and tried to ask you to sit back down but you refused.

So instead he tried to guide you to your seat and you stepped away from him in response, the further you took a step back the closer he took a step forward. It wasn’t until you hit the snack cart had you realized how close the two of you were.

However that was short lived as the dish holding the sugar fell off the cart and shattered on the floor the moment you hit it.

Your eyes went wide in horror and you fell to the floor to clean it up in an instant, muttering to yourself silently.

“MC, are you-“

“I’m so sorry, Lord Diavolo, I'll clean this up right away. Please forgive me” you said swiftly picking up the shattered glass and trying your best to clean everything.

“It’s okay, don’t worry it was an accident” Diavolo said as he got up to make sure you were okay.

You shook your head as you went back to cleaning. You were positive Barbatos was going to kill you, he made sure to let you know if you ever messed up in Lord Diavolo’s presence.

So when his figure loomed over you your body tensed with fear as you looked up at him. However his expression didn’t match what you assumed it would’ve been.

He looked concerned and bent down to inspect your hands, hoping there wasn’t any blood due to the shards of glass from the dish.

You immediately retracted your hand when you noticed a cut and Barbatos stiffened.

“I’ll clean this up right away, excuse me” you said as you jumped to your feet and ran out of the council room, leaving three very confused and concerned demons behind.

As the door flew open when you left Solomon walked in with a bewildered look as you rushed out. “What happened? Is everything okay?” He asked as his eyes followed your figure rushing down the hall.

“It’s MC,” Lucifer sighed.

“What about them?” Solomon questioned.

“Long story short they were helping Barbatos and dropped the sugar then bolted out of the room in a panic when Barbatos grabbed their hand to see if they were okay.” Diavolo said with a sigh.

“Ah, that explains things then.” Solomon nodded. “And Barbatos I would refrain from touching or even being near MC for the time being”

“And why is that?” Barbatos questioned with a frown.

“Because MC is probably still on edge after serving alongside you in the past. Let’s just say your methods weren’t exactly…ideal, for a human.” He sighed.

His heart broke upon hearing those words. Barbatos frowned upon learning he was the reason for their rigid behavior and unwillingness to open up to him or Lord Diavolo again.

“I understand,” he sighed.

“If we just talk to MC I’m sure they’ll understand-“ Diavolo started.

“You can, but they haven’t changed their behavior with the brothers so I doubt they change it now. I’ll talk to them when I see them again” Solomon sighed.

Lucifer made a sour expression upon hearing Solomon’s words, mainly because he knew they were true. After all he had spoken to MC countless times yet nothing has changed.

Solomon handed a few papers to Diavolo who read over them in surprise. “Cocytus Hall? That place hasn’t been used in ages, and you wish to move in there?”

“Yes, well Mc and I.” He nodded. “All the paperwork should be there if you’ll allow it”

Lucifer shot the sorcerer a glare and shook his head. “Is that really necessary? That’s quite the opposite of having MC adapt back to the present”

“On the contrary I didn’t suggest this. They did, and if it's what they want I don’t mind indulging my sweet apprentice” He smiled.

The three frowned at Solomon’s words. No matter how annoyed he made them, they all agreed that he was the only one you talked to like normal.

It wasn’t fair that he was the only one that got that attention from you. After a few more minutes of going back and forth Diavolo finally approved the idea, much to Lucifer’s protests.

It was just a thought but Diavolo hoped that if he did this you would eventually come back to them, and not the you that was terrified and uptight, he missed the carefree human who could brighten up the room.

With a sigh the room fell silent as Solomon left, all three demons were running out of ideas and the longer you avoided them the more painful it had become.

How long were they supposed to stay like this? They all wondered with tense sighs.

[banamine-bananime]

AITA for trying to save my friend and keep the rest of my asshole friends safe from their bad decisions?

I (M26) just went through this real shitty breakup. So basically, my ex C (M lmao man fuck if i know his age idek if knows it. or has one i guess) has this god-fucking-awful habit of deciding to solve every problem by dying about it and/or fucking off without so much as a word to the people unfortunate enough to give a shit about him, except maybe his sister (unhelpful for the rest of us because she also inherited the "fucking off without a word" gene. man fuck this whole family for making me care about them. whatever). Also, killing himself inside peoples brains thats like a whole hobby for him. like okay either ghost us OR kill yourself in front of us altering the trajectory of our lives forever PICK ONE like a NORMAL person.

Okay wait im not explaining this well. So years ago C and W (M37 now) were partners but C was, uh, in a really bad place mentally (S is telling me this is more diplomatic to say than "crazy af") and that situationship ended as badly as a situationship can end. I mean W's told me he pretty much had his sense of identity as someone separate from C totally destroyed by that for a while, which like, in hindsight its kinda an accidental dick move that our team made him take C's legal identity, but in our defense a) the fuck were we supposed to know?, b) tbf he really did need it not to go back to prison, c) it's not like C was using his identity, on account of the fucking off and effectively-dying-as-a-solution habits, and d) i mean. i gotta admit it's also pretty funny in a really fucked way.

aw shit derailed on a tangent again

recently its just like, we just get so focused on one thing its hard to remember anything else, you know?

S is so good at getting us back on track though. thank god because you would not believe the number of irons weve got in the fire to keep track of, its ridiculous. (i love making my partner be the planner in the relationship lol. highly recommend being a passenger princess in the body sometimes. fuck massages, i'm telling you THIS is what you need after a long day getting shit DONE and taking care of everyone else's messes)

So I met C 6 years ago, right out of basic, when we were privates stationed at the same base. middle of nowhere. shit, this is gonna be hard to explain, just realized i should use different names for C to keep them straight. I knew "A" and W knew "E", i didnt meet E until years later. theyre alters and also the same guy but also not the same guy. dont worry about it if you dont get it bc ive dated both of them and i dont think i do. my life is stupid.

Bunch of bullshit happened, A ghosted (lol. you'd be high-fiving me if you knew him) and then found a problem to solve by dying. you get it by now.

Then i meet E, E encounters a problem and tries to die about it round one (i guess round two, after exploding in W <- LOL. you should be high-fiving me right now), E's sister drags him back to the land of the living, E ghosts, W and i start dating, W tries to martyr himself and disappears because i guess E rubbed off on him (dude i am on a fucking roll. you should be high-fiving me out of pity for my glamorously miserable soap-opera life if nothing else. homophobic not to), our team gets W back, E strolls back like he has no idea why im mad at him, we fight about it, makeup-makeouts about it, and E tries to die about it round two: in my brain boogaloo.

So thats how S and i meet. oops, guess i never introduced S? Feels weird to have to introduce ourself twice, people dont really meet us separately anymore LOL. S (M, ageless) is also C's alter, my partner in life and badassery and brain and body. and obviously freaky sex stuff, that goes without saying but i'm saying it anyway to brag. the swish swish to my stabbing people who really deserve it. Not really interested in your opinion on our relationship, it's not what i'm asking about. we're aware its not conventional, because we're not fucking braindead. Im so sick of all the "oooohhhhh this isn't healthy", "he's a male manipulator and youre codependent i know bc i learned psychology from tiktoks by girls with green hair", "why are you wearing your ex-boyfriend's armor colors while wearing his dead ex-boyfriend's armor while dating and sharing a brain with your dead mutual ex's alter", "have you considered going to therapy instead of a quest against death itself" blah blah blah. If youre so bored you need to judge our life then just get your own 🙄🙄🙄

we've been really on that sigma grindset the last few weeks. S has got our sleep optimized down to a tight triphasic 3.46 hours and we're minmaxing the fuck out of the rest of every day. Biohacked to shit over here. too much to do, so we have to make there be enough of our time to do it. who else is gonna? my teammates? the REDS? we're half batman half babysitter to a gaggle of idiots who can barely be trusted to wipe their own asses, let alone fight their own battles and make decisions like "wah wah wah A is dead let's just give up and cry about it or whatever".

Don't even get me started on W. Oh youre all about character-building wake up and grind self-improvement and taking leadership until we're making decisions you dont like, i guess. WHATEVER. this is why we dont listen to you.

its hard, okay. like, you cant understand the sheer fucking stress were under trying to keep all our plans going smoothly while keeping these guys safe while they're basically actively trying to unravel every carefully-laid thread and also strangle themselves in them. im probably going prematurely grey and also losing some time. its hard to remember when we need to hold back and use the kiddy gloves. i really didnt want to come to holding - uh, we'll call him MC (M25) - by the throat, passed-out. he's like a brother to me, been through thick and fucking thin together, so yeah, i feel really bad about that, my bad, we were the asshole there, but like, maybe stop throwing yourself in the way? like run out into the road you're gonna get hit by a truck no matter how hard they slam the brakes. mfw the conses quence. but im NOT asking about that. everyone's been on our dick about "please god stop doing all of this" and abandoning A and trying to break us up way before that, and THAT'S what im asking about

Anyways tl;dr are we the asshole for getting shit done when it takes methods that all our monday morning quarterback friends dont like

_____

OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:

it really was a dick move to dangle my teammate's limp body in a chokehold even though it was basically an accident and also not even directly relevant to the question

OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might not be the asshole:

okay but we're right

[indigo-o]

The Pet clown

Pt 2

I think we know who it's abt lmao

Nikolai gogol x reader PLATONIC

And some fyodor

Reader is a teenager

Tw impatient stuff depression, fyodor drugging, sleep deprivation, those annoying blankets they give at mental hospital even tho it's like -1 degrees Celsius if you know you know, talk of death, yandere fyodor, Manipulation from fyodor, Nikolai gogol, I think that's it so yeah

Angst/fluff

I wish you were here, this room is empty. White walls, heavy doors, thin white blankets, and chained blury windows.

This thin gown can't keep me warm. I know him. He just wants what's best for me. I guess that even means putting me in this room. This room to keep me safe.

Safe from me. No possibility of me hurting. I'm to sick leave this bed and to tired to talk. He says I'm helping him.

Im helping him cleanse the world of evil. So I guess if my pain will save the world I'll stay in this room.

Everybody else deserves to be happy and well so I'll hurt for them. If one death would save the world I'd die.

My body's purple now.

I hear a click at the heavy door. To my surprise it wasn't a anemic rat, it was his pet clown.

"QUIZZZZZ TIMEEEEEE! WHY AM I HERE INSTEAD OF DOS-KUN?! I THINK I HEARD YOU SAY CAUSE HES HAVING FUN! CORRECT!".

I looked at him. My eyes were heavy. But he did bring some color to the room. I smiled at him.

I opened my mouth to talk but I couldn't.

"Oh dove you still can't talk! I forgot! Dos-kun told me to take you outside to have some fun.".

He lied, either were not going to have fun or fyodor didn't tell him anything. Either way I was going to have to walk. I knew I couldn't but I was going to try anyway.

Fyodor knew If I could walk I'd escape from him. So he kept me physically, emotionally and mentally sick. I would have no choice to stay.

As soon as I got to my legs I collapsed, but Nikolai caught me.

"Silly me I forgot you can't walk guess I'll carry you.".

He picked me up as if I were a little kid.

"D-dont dr-rop.". I manged to get out.

"Oh dove I may be crazy but not only do we need you, Dos-kun would kill me, but I want to protect you from harm. Not like you can protect yourself in this state.".

I looked at him. Then laying on him. We proceeded to go through his cape.

We were in what seemed to be his house/apartment.

He went to put me down on his couch but he's so warm.

"Wait w-warm.".

He looked down at me.

"I guess we can go out later.". He picked me back up and took me to his bed. Laying me down cuddled with blankets, pillows and now a pet clown. I shut my eyes and finally went to sleep.

I woke up to Nikolai looking down at me.

"Am I a good pillow?". I realized how I was very much on him.

I nodded my head.

"You want to go outside for a bit dove?". He was using a soft tone.

He wasn't ever like this

Maybe because I'm a teenager but I don't know.

He got up "You slept threw the whole night, but the good thing is we have a whole day today and tomorrow, you know why?".

He leaned in close "I lied Dos-kun is away and he doesn't believe in your freedom so I'm here to show him that you're a good kid who won't run away. You see Dos-kun takes away your warmth so you can't sleep making you so tired that's why you slept for so long he wants you to be weak, weak without freedom. I'm here to give you freedom. To fly like a dove.".

He went to his closet and pulled out some clothes.

"Here's so clothes to wear so we're not caught. That sounds weird. I my dear am a very wanted person so I must look different and you can't really walk let alone the sun should hurt you eyes so if I were to be caught you wouldn't leave be caught up in it.".

What ever he said I guess.

I changed and so did he and he look pretty different

He picked me up and took me to wheel chair that he some how got, but I shouldn't question it.

He placed me in the chair and we Leigt looked like sibling going out for fun.

"F-flowers please.". I looked to him.

"You want flowers we will get flowers.".

We went to florist.

"Hi! What flowers are yall looking for!". She sounded very happy.

"What do you want dear?". Nikolai asked

While I could barely see I knew exactly what I want.

"R-rose and Lillys.".

"Of course dear I'll get right to that!".

The rest of day was amazing

I got flowers, yummy pastries and other stuff.

Who knew a deranged clown could be so kind. But at last we came back to his apartment/house.

He made dinner for us and helped me get to the bed. He tucked me in.

"Good night dove.".

I woke up

Back in the room

The room with white walls, a heavy door, thin blanket and blury chains windows. But now there wad a desk but with roses and lily's on top of it.

I heard the door click. An anemic rat with his pet clown walked in.

"You've proven yourself for now, you may keep your roses and lily's. Nikolai may visit you now and then. One thing. You may not regain full energy but.".

He stopped his words and Nikolais smile grew.

"YOU CAN HAVE A NICER BLANKET AND I CAN READ BED TIME STORYS TO YOU ONCE A WEEK!".

He ran over to with a puppy dog smile.

"Don't make regret this.". The anemic rat walked away throwing the key at the pet clown.

That was alot longer than I expected but I hope yall liked it!♡♡

[whyse7vn]

I’M SORRY -

[ ot7 x reader ]

JUNGKOOK -

jk: i’m sorry

jk: didn’t mean to make you upset :(

i hope i die

i should get jumped

barely survive

be on life support until i’m 50

and when i wake up die from the most painful heart attack recorded

i hope no one attends my funeral and i’m publicly and privately made fun of even after i’ve passed

hope my parents are ashamed and i hope that whenever the name jungkook is said people feel sick to their stomachs

i’m gonna throw up

gonna choke myself to death

i have the tightest grip on my throat rn

i’m going red

it’s fading to black

i’m sorry i wasn’t being a good boyfriend

tell bam that his dad was an asshole who didn’t deserve any rights

don’t even let him remember me as his father

i don’t deserve that title

i don’t deserve anything

not after what i did

burn all my clothes

delete all my pictures

tear my face off all posters

cross my name off all paperwork

i am not worthy of anything

y/n: shut up

jk: i’m sorry

y/n: i can tell

jk: i didn’t mean it

y/n: i forgive you

jk: really?

y/n: yeah

jk: do you really or are joking?

if ur joking it’s not a funny joke

y/n: you can come back home now

jk: really 🥺?

y/n: don’t ever use that emoji again

jk: sorry

i’m coming

omw

i love you

this is so great

y/n: you’re so dramatic

jk: i’m sorry

y/n: stop apologising

jk: sorry

i mean

ok

love u

y/n: hurry up

jk: 🏃‍♂️

SEOKJIN -

jin: can you talk to me now

hey

hey

hey

hey

hey

hey

hey

hey

i’m going to kms and it gonna be all your fault if you don’t reply to me

y/n: record it

jin: hey loml 😘😘❤️❤️❤️🤗🤗

WAIT WTF

THATS SO SICK?/?:£:££.&.&.&&.

y/n: what do you want?

jin: i love you ❤️💓🩷

y/n: bye

jin: WAITTTT :(((((((((((((((

pls

pls

pls

pls

pls

pls

pls

pls

pls

pls

pls

pls

y/n: what

jin: i’m outside 🤭🤗❤️

y/n: stay outside

jin: am i a dog?????

DON’T ANSWER THAT

anyways

i’ve come to see you princess 😘❤️‍🔥

y/n: gross

go home

jin: i am home 🥺

y/n: ur at MY home

jin: tu casa es mi casa 😚

y/n: that is not how that phrase goes

jin: let me inside pookie it’s cold 😍

y/n: you should have a key if it’s ur house

jin: LET ME IN IM TRYING SOSOSOSO HARD

FUCK YOU

ITS COLD

MY HAIR IS WET

IM DISTRESSED

LET ME INNNNNNNN

y/n: it took you 3 minutes

to be an asshole again

jin: :((((

i really tried that time

i can’t help it

this is real this is me

i was born this way

you can’t change me

ur the asshole if we think about it why are you trying to change people?? let the world know you LOSER

y/n: fyi you can stay outside

jin: PLS NOOOO PLS PLS PLS PLS PLS PLS

y/n: “pls” doesn’t really sound like sorry to me…

jin: I SAID IM SORRY

I DIDN’T MEAN TO SHOUTT

IM SORRY IM SORRY IM SORRY IM SORRY IM SORRYYYYYYYYYYY

i love you

this is kinda sadistic if you think about it

didn’t know you was a freak like that bae

it’s okay i kinda like it

how about you let me in now

or do you want me to beg more???

pls oh plsssss let me in 🥺

i’ll never be mean again i promise 😇

pls 😚

hello??

babe??????

fr this isn’t funny

hello

HELLO

OPEN THE DOOR PLS

HELLLOOOO

OMH

HELLLLO

pls

i’m fr sorry

i mean it like genuinely

hello

…

okay let’s stop now

…………..

HELLLLO

fuck you

HOSEOK -

hobi: this fighting stuff kinda boring now

….

hello

i’m sorry

BOOOO

:(((

y/n: you can’t just walk out the house mid argument

hobi: in my defence u were being mean

y/n: so were you???

hobi: ??

y/n: be honest are you fr gonna just leave like that when things get hard?

hobi: i mean i might

y/n: …

hobi: things were pretty hard

y/n: AS MAN OF THE HOUSE YOU SHOULD OF GOT RID OF THE SPIDER

hobi: AS A FEMINIST I LEFT YOU TO TAKE CARE OF IT TO HELP YOU FEEL EMPOWERED

y/n: fuck you don’t come home

hobi: i would never lie to u bae 🙏🏼

and i would never suppress a moment for a woman to feel empowered

y/n: don’t actually fucking speak to me

hobi: ily

cheer up baby cheer up baby

y/n: picked the wrong member

jungkook would of helped me

hobi: omg????????

are you fr?

y/n: would never lie to you bae 🙏🏽

hobi: ….

JIMIN -

jimin:

y/n: ???

jimin: are you still mad at me?

y/n: yes jimin wtf

jimin: do you want to have sex?

y/n: yes jimin wtf

jimin: love you

y/n: whatever

jimin: say it back

y/n: i won’t

jimin: you will

y/n: definitely will not

jimin: i’ll sing for you

y/n: no thanks

jimin: no thanks?

y/n: no thanks.

jimin: you say that like i’m bad at singing

y/n: eh

jimin: eh?

y/n: eh.

jimin: i won’t have sex with you

y/n: aw man

jimin: don’t sound too sad

y/n: ok

jimin: you should be

y/n: i’m not

jimin: i go crazy in bed yk?

y/n: that is the ugliest thing you have ever said to me

jimin: if ur not in love with me just say that

y/n: i won’t

jimin: so ur IN love with me is what i’m hearing

y/n: ur not hearing anything cuz we are messaging rn

jimin: can you just tell me you love me like a normal person?

y/n: you don’t deserve it

jimin: okay maybe that’s true

but you should do it just once

pretty pls with a cherry on top 🥺

y/n: i’ll punch you

jimin: maybe i’ll enjoy it

y/n: nasty

jimin: kiss me

y/n: where are you?

jimin: ur really gonna kiss me?

y/n: ur talking long to tell me where you are so ig i’m not

jimin: joon’s studio

y/n: maybe i’m omw

jimin: ur so in love with me it’s kinda gross 🤭

YOONGI -

yoongi: :3

y/n: die tbh

yoongi: :3

y/n: your stupid faces mean nothing to me

yoongi: :3

y/n: …

yoongi: :33333

y/n: i hate you

yoongi: :Ɛ

y/n: ew wtf how did you do that

yoongi: Ɛ:

y/n: stop omg

yoongi: i’m sorry :3

y/n: cool

yoongi: i’m fr :3

y/n: idc :3

yoongi: you used the face :3

ur not mad :3

y/n: ur logic is wrong

yoongi: bring the face back :3

and it’s not logic it’s common sense :3

y/n: ur wrong

yoongi: never been wrong a day in my life :3

y/n: that’s crazy

so when you shouted at me for no reason you weren’t in the wrong?

good to know

yoongi: okay i never said that :3

y/n: but you did

yoongi: ur being annoying :3

y/n: fuck you

DID YOU JUST SEND ME 10K?????????

yoongi: did i? :3

y/n: you can’t just buy my forgiveness

yoongi: i can’t? :3

y/n: this is not how relationships work yoongi

yoongi: this is how our relationship works :3

y/n: no it’s not

STOP SENDING ME MONEY OMG?:£:£:’

yoongi: :3

y/n: you are still not forgiven leave me alone

yoongi: unforgiven i’m a villain :3

y/n: SEND ANOTHER 10k AND UR GETTING BLOCKED

yoongi: ur making me real upset rn :3

y/n: go back to work

yoongi: stop being mad at me :3

y/n: die

yoongi: don’t say that i’m about to get on a plane :3

y/n: now i feel bad

yoongi: say sorry :3

y/n: nvm

yoongi: :(

look you’ve made me change faces hope you feel bad :(

y/n: i don’t

yoongi: ur sick and twisted :(

y/n: cry about it

yoongi: really hope i survive this plane ride :(

y/n: i will not be guilt tripped by you

yoongi: you told me to die knowing i was getting on a plane :(

y/n: bye

yoongi: what if i had a deep deep fear of flying and u made that fear 10x worse rn :(

y/n: you don’t

yoongi: you don’t know a thing :(

y/n: fuck you

yoongi: do you really want ur last words to me be fuck you :(

y/n: fly safe

TAEHYUNG -

y/n: no

tae: hiiiiiiii

wtf how did you know

y/n: blocked

tae: NONONONONONO

y/n: you have one minute

go

tae: i am walking alone rn

y/n: ???

tae: on the street

y/n: ok?

tae: alone

y/n: you said that

tae: ALONE

ALL ALONE

y/n: right

tae: it’s not right actually

ITS VERY FAR FROM RIGHT

i’m ALONE

do you know what could happen to me rn?

i could literally be snatched up off the street by anyone

y/n: hopefully it’s a rehabilitation centre 🙏🏽

tae: WHAG IS UR PROBLEM

IM ALONE ALONE ALONE ALONE

ME

KIM TAEHYUNG ALONE ON THE STREET

WHAT ARE YOU NOT GETTING HERE?

y/n: ur one minute is up

tae: no it’s not

can you pls care for me rn i’m stressed out

y/n: it was pretty stressful when you stood me up yesterday

but i powered through 💪🏽

i’m sure you can do the same!!!

tae: that never happened

pls let’s pretend that never happened

i’m the perfect boyfriend i swear

y/n: get lost

like actually

never come back

tae: 😢

you don’t even mean that

y/n: are you sure?

tae: IM SORRY PLS PLSPLSSSSSS

forgive me

y/n: no

tae: you can have my card

y/n: don’t want it

tae: take my house

i’ll give you my keys rn

y/n: i have ur keys

tae: you do?

you thief omg

give them back

y/n: you left them here???

after YOU stormed out my house after you made ME upset

tae: oh yeah

i’m coming back now

y/n: asshole

tae: let’s put this behind us and move on

that’s a great idea i say

y/n: you are single

tae: don’t say that

y/n: said it

tae: we are actually engaged and expecting our 10th child

y/n: you are single

tae: top 10 singles

made a few of those in my time

LOL

i’m funny right

say i’m funny

y/n: it’s painful talking to you

tae: painfully in love with me are you?

y/n: it’s like i’m taking to a brick wall

you have like selective hearing

tae: what i’m hearing is you want to kiss me on the lips?

y/n: call an ambulance

tae: feeling so much love for me ur throwing up?

???

hello

oh

ok

maybe i do deserve this

NAMJOON -

y/n: would you now like to explain why the hell you sent halsey flowers on MY birthday??

namjoon: it wasn’t just on ur birthday i’ve been sending them all week for like a month now

y/n: namjoon what the fuck??

namjoon: i’m confused

y/n: UR confused????

do you like her or something?

namjoon: ofc i like her!

y/n: so ur cheating?

namjoon: what

y/n: ur cheating on me and you have no shame???

what the actual fuck is wrong with you??

namjoon: i’m not cheating?

y/n: for a month now you’ve been sending another girl that you like flowers

EVERY WEEK???

namjoon: every friday

y/n: fuck you

namjoon: i’m confused how that’s cheating when you told me to do that?

y/n: WHEN HAVE I EVER SAID “OH NAMJOON SEND OTHER BITCHES FLOWERS”

namjoon: you literally said you loved how halsey’s bf gave her flowers every week and that you wished i did that?

y/n: ….

there is no way

….

namjoon

oh my god

kim fucking namjoon

LMAOOSO ARE YOU FR?

namjoon: what??? i’m so confused pls tell me what i did wrong

i would never cheat on you

ur freaking me out

y/n: think about it

why would i wish you sent halsey flowers?

think

like really think

namjoon: IDK i was confused as hell but you seemed like you really wanted me to

so i did

y/n: i meant i wanted you to buy ME flowers you idiot omg

namjoon: oh

that makes a lot more sense

y/n: yeah

you are the dumbest smart man i’ve ever met

namjoon: my fault

i get confused sometimes 😞

y/n: i love you

namjoon: i love you too

ur not mad anymore?

y/n: could never be mad at you silly

[dragonnarrative-writes]

im the anon who sent that gaz ask and omg kyle's interlude was so good!!!!! im just giggling thinking of kyle wondering how much does she know? did she catch on somehow? fuck I have to take her out quick before she finds out how many projects ive finished and the whole time miss new girl is like. wow this guy fucking sucks at his job i want him gone from my hospital >:(

mans thinks shes gonna file a case with a police and she just thinks he's incompetent as shit

I'm so tickled. That's exactly what's happening.

CW: discussions of death and dying, autopsies, medical neglect

There’s something going on on the cardiac floor that you just… can’t quite put your finger on.

This isn’t the first hospital you’ve worked at, but you’re also new to urban healthcare, so you don’t want to rock the boat by being paranoid. But traffic from the cardiac floor is… steady. You’ve read the papers, know the stats like the back of your hand. And the cardiac floor is perfectly in line with expected trends. Every. Month.

There are fluctuations, of course. Plus or minus three to seven lives is nothing remarkable in cardiology. Macabre, maybe, but true. But that’s unnatural. In the seven months you’ve worked here, you’ve seen waves elsewhere in the hospital. The plastics floor had a month with zero deaths followed by a month of a persistent infection sweeping through the otherwise reasonably healthy patients. Oncology has seen a steady decline in patients sent your way, thank goodness. Even emergency and intensive care aren’t as fixedly consistent as the cardiac floor.

When you wonder about it aloud to the director, Dr. Martins just shrugs. “We have a good team up there. Very good at keeping things clean and double and triple checking their work.”

“But if that’s the case, then the number of deaths should be going down,” you point out.

Dennis gives you a rueful smile. “That’s not always how human bodies work, unfortunately. You know that.”

You do know that. Which is why the consistency grates against your nerves. So you decide to do a little digging.

The name that comes up the most often in the chart notes is one Kyle Garrick.

That’s actually not 100% accurate. He’s charting exactly the way he’s supposed to. And no nurse has complete, individual access to patients 24/7. But every dying patient he has access to is… perfect. Their blood work, labs, vitals, prognosis, medication adherence and refusal is almost too-the-letter, textbook precise.

The most obvious answer is that Garrick, and probably a couple of other nurses on the floor, are fudging the numbers.

The idea is infuriating. You hate the way the administrators keep changing medical record systems just as much as the next person, but inaccurate charting is a safety issue. People can, have, and do die because someone writes down the wrong timing for medications or assumes that a patient’s vitals are unchanged. If anything, this is probably worse than that. The fact that everything is so pristine probably means that some patients are just being written off. The nurses might be deciding who gets the excellent care the hospital is known for and who gets neglected.

You stay three hours late investigating the next cardio patient that ends up in your morgue.

After examining the body and reading, rereading, and re-re-re-reading his chart, you find it. A stutter in the dosages of blood thinners, a slightly higher blood pressure reading from someone who isn’t nurse Kyle fucking Garrick. Just enough evidence to have you testing the body with an aspirometer almost too late. And there it is. A fatal air embolism.

You want to scream, but the dead man doesn’t deserve that.

Three weeks later, sipping from your water bottle, someone calls into the office. “Knock knock.”

Dennis practically lights up. “"Good morning, Kyle. Been a bit since you've come to see us. Care for some tea?"

Your eyebrows shoot up. Dr Martins hates unexpected visitors. Then you look over your shoulder, and you understand. Even old queens aren't immune to pretty privilege. The man that’s leaning in the doorway is gorgeous. Maybe its because you work with dead bodies all day, but his eyes and skin seem to glow, even under the fluorescents.

"Can't," the man says, apologetically. "Just dropping someone off."

"Well, at least let me introduce our new nurse!"

The fact that you’re wiping crumbs off of your mouth over a paper plate is the only reason no one sees your face fall when you hear him say, “Nice to meet you. Kyle Garrick.”

[ma3mae]

Don't be so annoyed, love!

Summary: He's so annoying sometimes but it's ok because you love him 😭 (HC w/ Dazai, Kunikida, Ranpo)

Genre: Crack, fluff, lowkey suggestive themes

Warnings: 🗿 we ignoring the red flags bc we can. also mentions of farting bc dazai 🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿

A/N: u cant tell me that they wouldnt do any of these things ok 💀also kunikida's got a small drabble out of nowhere but im always wildin when it comes to him 😭😭😭😭😭

Dazai Osamu

u cant tell me that as soon as hes rly comfortable in ur relationship that he WOULD NOT be ashamed of just farting outta nowhere honestly 💀

Like yall r just chilling on the couch, watching smth and he just lets it all out bc why should he hold himself back 🗿

Hes at home 🗿

But bro's lucky he doesnt smell but 🗿🗿🗿🗿 wheres the warning from him

u give him the side eye and hes like "What? Are you perhaps ashamed of human nature, bella?" like ok we'll leave him alone but he ruined the emotional moment of the movie yall were watching 😭😭😭

Is also the type to prob leave his socks and clothes lying around

It got better over time but he still sometimes does it bc old habits die hard i guess 🧍

once got so bad you just collected all of his clothes and put them infront of the door so he'd have no choice but to pick all of that up and do it himself 💀

would try to talk his way out of it in the beginning but also felt kinda bad after the relationship got more and more serious

So now hes a good bf/ husband and does it himself 🤩 (with the occasional sock under the couch 💀)

drinking habits would take a bit longer to be fully gone, he'd learn to regulate it over time

He's learned to warn you tho when he thinks that a rly shitty day might hit him bc work and more

sometimes you take the day off and do something together to take his mind off of it

Sometimes you're at work and a "im home" text without hearts will come and you know whats wrong

would feel more comfortable over time letting you take care of him

will definitely show you his appreciation for you the next days in one way or the other 🤩💅

talking about living together, yall would often have to sit down to talk about his spendings bc our man cant save for ANYTHING

Used to often come home with little things like "Look, this reminded me of you!" and it's a plushie of a cat or something

Started off cute and small but got dramatic like him really fast

ngl he came home with a expensive necklace u liked when the both of u went shopping but u didnt buy it bc.. she expensive...

like he was charming as always with his "Tada! Guess what I've got you?~ 😋" ".... Not the necklace...? 😧" "🤩 How did you guess that right, bella??" "😨😨"

THIS man right here wouldnt even hesitate to just right out fking steal shit for you if u want it bc thats how much Power u got over him he'd never admit that tho sksks... OK maybe in bed...

he'd def either blackmail or bribe chuuya into helping him with stealing

probably even has access to his bank account and you'd only realize that when he'd stand infront of your door, asking where that "f*cking b*stard" is

you'd legit have to mediate their convo or else the whole building you live in would be gone immediately skks 💀

Chuuya likes u so he wouldnt make yall pay for it bc he knows that dazai's nearly broke 24/7 and u dont deserve to pay for his fault 💅

it would be enough to destroy his pride to make him obey chuuya for like 2 weeks or sum cue evil cackling from said red head

queen of Gaslightining nr. 1 😭 sometimes its for the dumbest arguments tho like why its okay to smack your lips while eating 😭

"I don't know it's just really noisy and kinda annoying for me?" "But Bella, that shows just how tasty your food is or are going to deny that fact and say that I should not show my appreciation for it? What if for me personally it's a sign of a good meal?" "Yeah but doesnt need to be that for me. Also you can show your appreciation for it in other ways like just simply saying its delicious?"

"But actions speak louder than words, my love." "YEAH, well then what do you want then???"

Its just a whole shit show and would (lmao it WILL) end in him giving you just shameless bedroom eyes and well you know whats gonna be after dinner lmaooo 🤡😭

Also also i do believe that hes not the best cook at first but hes a real fast learner so it prob would only take him a week of consuming cooking videos and reading books and BOOM

"Samu, is this a 3 course meal you're cooking because that's a LOT of ingredients in the kitchen." "Sssh just sit down, wash yourself up and enjoy the evening, my love! I'll call you when I'm done 💕"

Manages to somehow still give you some snacks and drinks in between the cooking 😭 with some sneaked in kisses on your shoulder or lips 😏

If you go and hug him from behind, he'll be MELTING

Like nuzzling your face into his back while wrapping your arms around his torso, you feel the slight rumble in his chest as he chuckles at your cute action 😭

"If you want to eat something then you should take a break from being so cute, you know? Don't want the food to go bad from maybe getting a bit distracted if you stay here for a bit longer." "Ew, are you implying you'd start something infront of our food??"

"... Well, I can just have a whole meal by myself but you'd be left hungry so it's your choice 😋"

🗿 the way he doesnt need long to be turned on is alwaya amazing to u but thats just how whipped he is and bro is a whole snack himself so WHOS complaining 😋💅

food's is guaranteed to taste heavenly but if he knows youve got time, then he'd make excuses to taste your cooking like

"Samu, it's been a while since I've gotten to taste your cooking." "Aww, was it that delicious for you? Hmm but I actually prefer your cooking!"

Time for some cooking and baking lessons together, eoow 💅 with the occasional make out session because the sauce found it's way on your lips and he just had to clean it up with his 😭😋

honestly despite all of some of the difficulties, dazai would never fail in making you feel loved in his own way even tho u gotta peel back some layers 🗿

At the end of the day, his bear hugs and many kisses are smth u love to come back home to after work

also doesnt say it but would def be a house husband for u 🤩 with the occasional "whoops gotta go and do smth quick" text and he comes home at like midnight skks bc the agency needs his cute ass 😋 but dw dinner's ready and house chores have been done so enjoy ur evening after work, zurlie 💅

dont kill me for this but id give him a 7.5/10 😭

Obsessed with him and i love him but it would prob be really really exhausting to get him to FULLY trust you and its honestly understandable

Also he kinda makes me feel like i'd have to walk on eggshells around him because you often dont really know what hes thinking 😭😭

could smile at u while thinking "why u so ugly" 😭😭

also bro is so smooth, its scary like he'd prob make us forget immediately that hes trying to find out everything about us(why he sounding like a stalker 😨😨 wouldnt want him to be MY stalker 😨😨 or would I?? 🤩) MY DELULU BRAIN 👹

Doppo Kunikida

😨 Cleaning maniac

personification of the verse "I can COOk, i can CLEAN" (i know its "dont" instead of can but we all know hes like perfect house husband material... maybe a bit too perfect 💀💀💀👹)

If u forgot a cup on the dinner table, he'd legit take the cup, put it in ur hand and be like "why did u leave it there if u r not using it"

WILL def rant about why u shouldnt do it

Honestly huge nagging mom vibes 💀💀

At the beginning of moving in together, he'd just clean everything without a word whatsoever

Like you wanna help around the house too? NUH UH, he already finished everything up.

Vaccuming the house? Done

Swiping? Lmao be sure to not arrive at home after work around that time bc u gotta stand at the door and WAIT until the floor is dried 💀😭

Dishes have been done like at 5 in the fucking morning 💀👹

Bro thankfully doesn't wash clothes that often (gotta be careful of the water bill 😭) but there r days where he legit throws his clothes nearly everyday bc the worse the mission the more blood yk 🗿🗿

U had to legit drag his ass to the couch to talk to him bc he gonn be deep clean the house if someone doesnt stop him

"Kuni, you literally don't need to do EVERYTHING by yourself! I'm also here to help and frankly, it feels like you're my maid sometimes 😞" " Don't worry. Everything fits perfectly in my time plan and since you sometimes work overtime, it's better if I do a bit more of it."

... "🗿 You are legit saving this city from being destroyed so often and I just sit in the office, bro 🤡" "I understand your argument but I have seen the way you look tired so often so let me take a bit of your burden"

He knows how to make us go "🥺"

The argument prob went on for an hour until yall settled on making a plan on who does what on which days and if someone's gotta work overtime or sum then the other takes a bit of it over and so on

So in the end its alrighty 🎉

Groceries and so on are never a problem except it sometiems turns out like going shopping with your mom because...

"Omg Kuni, look!!" *holds up cute decoration* "We could put this on our dinner table! Isn't it cute 🥺??"

Bro just takes it from you and looks at the price. Legit gives you the 🤨 look

"That's 937,32 Yen (around 6€) 🤨🤨. For a tiny statue of a dog? We could find it somewhere way cheaper." "🥺 But it's a limited edition and it reminds me of you bc its got the same fur color 🥺. It's even got ur glasses on 🥺"

Bro will say no but the day after you spot the dog on the table 🤡

Yall lying in bed together and cuddle so give him a peck on the lips while killing him with your cute ass smile (U MURDERER 🗿🗿)

"What was that for?" "Hmmm, well I just noticed that said statue magically appeared on our table. You think it was a cute long haired fairy with glasses and a grumpy look 😋? "

He tries really hard to deadpan at you but the corner of his lips still tug upwards as he pinches your nose

"Well, sometimes its not so bad to buy a little extra, I guess."

If theres a market nearby with some really good deals then you'd either be dragged together with him or he'd come home after work with tons of bags

Always surprises you in how good he is at negotiating about the price

Sometimes you gotta stop him from arguing with some of the shop keepers because some decided to sell some items way too overpriced 🗿🗿🗿

you once found him stay up all night researching about reasonable prices for veggies... 😨

and cue to yall standing in the morning infront of said shop keeper getting absolutely destroyed in an argument by your man.. 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨

Well guess who even got some extra free stufd because kuni terrified the shit out of him 😋

"Thank you for your hard work in harvesting and selling us these delicious vegetables. My wife is quite a fan of them." Your husband said as he put the money into the shop keepers shaky hands, face red in embarassement as he squeezed out a "It's nothing." between his teeth. His face paled at the words "We'll see each other next Monday. Until then have a great week." leaving your man's mouth as he gave him a friendly smile before taking your hand and going to the next stall,only for you to sheepishly wave goodbye to the shop keeper before going with your husband.

"Well, you gave him quite the scare back there." You said as you felt him squeeze your hand a bit tighter, the bustling of the array of people only increasing by minutes. "Someone had to correct his ways. It would help his sales but only if he's willing to take that advice seriously." he simply answered as he looked at the contents of the bag, counting the ingredients left to purchase.

"Well atleast we got ourselves more than we needed so we can go home and call it a day." "Who are you?" Chuckling at your surprised face out of the corner of his eyes, he continued to make his way towards the end of the market, to finally reach your car.

"I thought over your words and I do believe it would be nice to" laze around together "for once in a while. Everything in the house has already been done, so maybe we could try out that one series you've been talking about. The reviews seem to be quite positive about it."

He just lets a breathy laugh escape his lips at your squeal while you begin to rant on why its gonna be so good watching it and

UUUUGGHHGH 😭😭😭😭 GIVE ME KUNIKIDAAAAAAAGHHHHHH 😭😭😭🤡🤡👹👹👹

honestly there are like no real red flags like his red flags are disguised green flags and yall can legit work through it easily

The only thing would be his tendency to overwork himself and it could lead to an argument but never a real fight because hes pretty easy to reason with

Like even when hes stubborn, he'll STILL listen to your words because the many good things about him that he'd always make sure to take your words seriously 🗿🗿

which sometimes makes it tempting to tease him bc we can lowkey understand why dazai easily tells him the most outrageous shit and your man just casually writes it down in his notebook 😭

"That damn idiot managed to fool me again by telling me that aliens have been among us (AMOGUS 👹) and that the goverment has been hiding it from us for decades." "I thought you already knew about that tho?"

"What" "What?"

"Wait so they're real?"

Cue to him showing him a video (that dazai sent to you a week ago just for this moment 😭)

Lmao dont tease him too much tho but dw, he cant stay mad at you at all lmao 😋💅

Honestly a 8.5/10 bc his nagging scares me 💀😭

Edogawa Ranpo

"Greatest Detective" more like "Queen of Gaslightining" 👹👹

Everyone knows hes way too obsessed with sweets but how the hell is his teeth actually still existing 🗿🗿

ngl i believe fukuzawa would prob sometimes just randomly ask him if he brushed his teeth bc he lowkey lowkey raised him ok 🤡

Ranpo is all nice like "yup, i did." but when u ask him, hes a whole b*tch about it

"Hah??? Why would you ask me that?? Do you really believe that I'd be so dumb to forget about brushing my teeth? If i can solve the most difficult cases then why would you assume that brushing my teeth might something that I'd forget, huuuhh??"

His gaslightining used to work at the beginning of ur relationship but sooner or later its not hard to notice his patterns 🗿

Like yas ok, he could just put up a whole ass strategy in how to not get u to notice that he didnt brush em at all but bro

Hes too lazy

And hes a sucker for attention 😩 like he might be "annoyed" if u nag at him bc of smth but he absolutely loves it bc its just one of his many ways to get ur attention without him having to actively get up and get it for himself 🤡🤡🤡🤡

Hes a huge clown but i love him 😭

Dazai tends to forget his socks or smth lying on the floor but THIS mf right here just doesnt rly care 😭

Like that was the first thing u noticed when u entered his apartment 🤡

Its not right out messy on a disgusting degree, its more like theres tons of trinkets n shit from cases or just random candy wrap hidden under the couch 💀💀💀

The epitome of "I can do it tomorrow" bc bro doesnt forget, he just IGNORES that he has to do it 😭

might take a while to actually get him to yk do smth around the house

used to prob only sleep and shower at his apartment and thats it💀

But when hes whipped then hes whipped and hed actually try his best to help around the house

Key word "try" 🤡

Like its often tbh accompanied by "okay, ill do it but only if i get smth"

A MANCHILD, I SAY 👹👹👹👹

But there are days when he legit deep cleans everything by himself bc either you had a bad day or yall had a fight 👹👹

still would whip out the "now gimme something, please 😋" if yall cuddle after a fight and he cleaned and tidied everything up for his love 🤩

doesnt always have to be candy yk HEUEHEUEHEUUE 👹👹👹👹👹

also its not a surprise but dont let him near the kitchen

HE COULD

HE RLY COULD COOK SO WELL

Like he had only cooked for ONE time and it was like a fever dream

Bc u legit had a fever and he cooked chicken soup but uhm 🗿

he cooked it so good??? Like veggies n meat cut and cooked up nicely?

Broth kicking in real hard?

Like? "What the hell? I thought you couldn't cook??"

Bro is about to put that spoon fr away 💀

"I'm not so heartless to let you starve and I definitely wont be giving you some cheap soup either. I just looked it up on the internet and followed the instructions so you gotta get well soon because I miss your cooking 🤩🤩"

Are we flattered?? Gurl, maybe but he'd def know if we tried to make ourselves be sick to taste his cooking again

Bro only offers to help when it comes to baking 😪😮‍💨😮‍💨

His only help is licking the dough or chocolate outta the bowl or smth 😀

would sneak in many kisses tho bc he likes u and sweet stuff is just sugar overload for him and he loves it 🤩

I think one of the important factors for him in a relationship is that fukuzawa approves of you? Since he does value his opinion over his own intellect

Like bro trusted him when it came to Fukichi and other ppl 💀

fukuzawa could legit go "aliens r evil" and ranpo would be like "ok everyone, aliens are evil!!!!" 🗿🗿🗿

honesrly i dont think why there would be a reason for fukuzawa not to accept you (if there is one then time to take 100 steps back and reflect on urself 💀)

He'd prob be impressed on how u even fell in love with him bc.. its ranpo💀

petty, clingy, can be manipulative ( but never with ill intentions), would legit prank ur ass bc he can, impatient and quickly bored af

But hes attentive, kind, can be patient when it comes down to it, empathetic (depends sksks) (also thank u fukuzawa for kinda ramming that into his head 🤩), affectionate in his own way (a sucker for physical touch but would NEVER right out admit it 🗿) and so much more honestly

there arent any real red flags tbh (might come as a surprise for some ppl)

Maybe maybe he'd obviously have a bit of difficulty fully opening up and i do believe there might be times where he once or twice legit deducted what ur feelings r for him bc hes used to being careful around people and especially bc in case someonw could randomly target the agency

Or is some kinda criminal in general

But honestly when hes learned to trust you then you know youve got yourself someone loyal 💅 and i mean FR loyal

personal favorite hc and honestly prob canon since we've already seen it : he'd not be ashamed to throw hands at someone when he thinks you're being insulted or harassed

And with hands i mean exposing them to 100% until they are pissing their pants and begging him to leave them alone 🤩🤩🤩

Also also, gives me off a similar vibe to dazai with the "maybe having to walk on eggshells" around them but ranpo doesnt make you feel as watched tbh as dazai which would kinda make it easier to talk to

but bro isnt as smooth as him so whOOP 💀💀

Overall iconic and a solid 8/10 🤩🤩🤩💕💕💕

The random ratings i gave them LMAO 💀💀💀 hope u like em 🗿

[jadeittic]

HS + Y/I: 2022 (SERIES)

EXTRA (8) -- mb i keep procrastinating i swear its not my fault (it is) LMAO

PREVIOUS. NEXT.

HARRY STYLES + PLATONIC!EX-1D MEMBER!FEM!READER

WARNINGS: will be changing face claims for every post ! hope it won't be a bother.

yourinstagram

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yourinstagram perth, get ready.

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username THE AMOUNT OF HARRY CONTENT IS MAKING ME 😫

username o h my god i get to be the first people to hear hs + y/i as the aoty

username DELETE THIS IS TOO MUCH FOR ME TO HADNLE

harrystyles We praise the people who get drunk the night before anything.

yourinstagram i'm literally going to die from alcohol poisoning because of you

harrystyles Yeah well it's not my fault you keep tagging along with me

yourinstagram SHUT UUUP i only tag along because you cry like a baby if i say no

username the bickering even through texts 😭😭

username LMFAO

username yn can i bring pizza to the show please 🙏

yourinstagram YES PLEASE i deserve a snack from time to time because SOMEONE refuses to let me

username we dont even need namedropping atp we all knowwww who it is

harrystyles WHAT DID I DO?!

username YNRRY IN AUSTRALIAAA EHFSGSEGGSEF

username the amount of adrenaline in me i cant even go to sleep

ynrryupdates

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ynrry YNRRY spotted walking around tourist shops in Perth, Australia just this afternoon. Are we all ready for the show tomorrow night?

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username PARENTS /p

username im so excited im driving to the park jsut to visit

username SO EXCITEDE EEFEGRE

username actually ordering her pizza rn

username I HOPE YN REMEMBERS OMG

username we're listening to the aoty tomorroooooow

username every show feels so unreal

username IRSHEGGESOJR

yourinstagram

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yourinstagram rehearsaaaaals

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username THERES A VIDEO OF YOU GUYS SOUNDCHECKING WOMAN ARE WE GETTING WOMAN TN

yourinstagram huh

username YN

harrystyles NO WONDER WHY YOU'VE BEEN GONE FOR SO LONG

username THEYRE SO GLSEIFJGG

zendaya i miss youuuu

yourinstagram z i miss you so much it hurts

username IM SO EXCITEED

username OHHSG SRIGRGH

username 2023 is treating ynrry so well and im here for it

username I HAVE THE PIZZA YN

yourinstagram it better be my favorite one

ynrry

liked username, and 6,705 others

ynrry first look at ynrry onstage at perth!

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username WHAT THE FUCK

username i love how they're matching but not matching at all

username ITS SO GOOD TO SEE THEM AGAIN OMG I MISSED THEM SO MUCH

username i am IN TEARS

username SUE AND HIS BESTFRIEND AT PERRRTTTTHHHH

--

"Okay, so tonight's dinner will be pizza, as I was informed. "Where are you?" Not knowing what she should be looking for other than a pizza box as she makes her way down the catwalk, YN says, "Is there a pizza box I should be looking for, really? — A sudden cheer could be heard from the other side of the stage, where Harry appeared to be pointing down to someone in the audience. Harry said, "C'mere, I think I found her. I'll even check my imaginary watch on my wrist to see how long it'll take her to get here," he said, motioning for YN to come over to his side.

"I actually believed a turtle was with me on stage," Harry jokes with a smirk on his lips, "YN finally made it over, much slower than anyone, actually." By this time, the two are arguing once more and have forgotten that they were looking for the pizza a fan had promised YN she would get at tonight's show.

"Well, I wouldn't really like the opportunity to slip and fall down as I'm running to you, no? - I'm simply being safe, unlike you." YN says with a cheeky grin plastered onto her face, to which Harry replies with a playful, offended look as he dramatically starts crying and places his hands over his eyes to stop his "tears" from falling out.

YN decides to move on, away from the conversation, and approaches the fan, who is holding a pizza box in the air. "Are you the one who promised me dinner?" The fan's head nodding told her everything she needed to know, even though she couldn't really hear what she was saying due to the audience and the earpiece placed in her ears. She then reaches over to the fan, carefully grabbing the box from the fan's hands without falling. As YN holds the box, her excitement quickly builds as she remembers how hungry she was before the show.

"Better hope it's your favorite pizza. If not, the pizza will be mine before you know it!" Harry approaches YN with a sneaky grin on his face. By turning away from the audience to hide the pizza they would be eating on stage, YN and Harry created needless suspense. — The boy standing next to YN laughs as she says, "Don't let me down, please," into her microphone.

It was YN's preferred pizza, which surprised her. As she crouches next to the fan, YN exclaims, "You are now my favorite person ever, I love you so much." — "You certainly made her happy, I suppose. Sincerely, I believed she would eventually cut off my head." Harry says as he squats down next to YN and receives snarling looks in return.

"Harry, I hate you so much." She pushes him in a playful manner until he falls to his back, at which point she turns to face the fan while grinning widely. — "You have my undying love. I adore you. Because of you, dinner is served!"

"Speaking of Adore You," Harry teases into his microphone as he motions for YN to stand, the upbeat instrumental playing through the speakers.

YN was spotted eating pizza while seated close to her and Harry's band.

--

iuploadtweetsaboutynrryonig

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celebnews

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celebnews "Y'wanna do it with me?" -- "Pass. I don't want to barf out the pizza I just ate. And besides, you're not even drinking it with beer!" -- "Well, this is a family show, is it not?" YN LN and Harry Styles on doing a shoey at their concert at Perth.

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username ITS THE WAY YN'S FACE LOOKED LIKE WHEN HE PUT HIS SHOE BACK ON 💀

username he drank it out of a GUCCI SNEAKER

username SOMEONE SEDATE ME RN

username yn just munching on her food in the back while harry does all of these 😭

username "this is one of the most disgusting traditions" -- "THEN DON'T DO IT" I LOVE YN SM LMFAOO

username yn shaking her head in disappointment like a mother for him doing it and him not doing it right 😭

username I JUST WOKE UP HES DOING A SHOEY??

ynrry

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ynrry more of ynrry tonight at perth!

harrystyles

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harrystyles Love On Tour. Perth. February. 2023.

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username WE MISSED YOU BOOOTHH

username had the time of my life im so thankful

username i miss you already

yourinstagram this is the face of someone who DROPPED A SLICE OF MY PIZZA ON THE FLOOR.

harrystyles I SAID I WAS SORRY

username CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YOU AGAINN

username 2023ynrry is such a sight to see

username LOVE LVOE LOVE

username SOMEONE POST A VIDEO OF THE SHOEY PLEASE

yourinstagram

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yourinstagram taught this man how to use a phone once, and he can't let go of it. PERTH I LOVE YOU

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username the thought of yn teaching harry makes me giggle a bit

username i barely see this man holding a phone this is a rare sight

username I'M GLAD YOU ENJOYED THE PIZZA !

yourinstagram i love you i love you i love you

username tonight felt like a dream omg

username IM COMING TO SEE YOU TWO AGAIN SOOOOON

username the best duo in the whole universe no one can tell me otherwise

yourinstagram via ig story