#i should listen to that again ive only heard it once i think

[tomb-mold]

whenever i listen to burn the priest or new american gospel i think damn, lamb of god should do another album like this. and then i remember that legion xx exists, they literally already did

[lucifer-the-fetus-eater]

i think the soldier tf2 would listen to five finger death punch

[jolapeno]

iv. before the gold and glimmer

javier peña x f!reader | chapter four of late night texts

summary: It's the year 2000. Javi is minding his own business on the porch of his pop's ranch when a text from an unknown number vibrates his phone. The only problem is, no one knows he has a phone and no one has his number.

chapter warnings: fluff. flirting. continuous romcom vibes. an: i adore each of you who are coming along this weird and wonderful journey, we're getting closer, i promise. wordcount: 2.5k.

text key: bold is you/reader | italics is javi

I’ll be home in an hour.

I’ll be ready 

Are we going to do the crossword tonight or are you going to spend an hour flirting?

too early to comment

I’m bringing my A game. 

to flirt with me? baby you flatter me 

No. Crosswords, you fucking flirt.

hermosa did you just swear at me 

I did. Now I have to concentrate, stop distracting me. 

Javi is aware that his pop is thinking things. 

Has been since the phone conversations began. The ones initially having slotted in when the house was empty. Quiet. Just him and his thoughts banging around, occasionally punctured by him pressing the keys on his phone until the phone rang.

Now, the phone calls have bled out into quick chats on other nights (Javi’s hand over his mouth, trying to muffle a laugh). He’s caught sight of his pop’s smirk more than once.

He’s very aware that he hasn’t helped things by dropping your name into conversations.

Accidentally, at first.

Then just accepting his fate and embracing it. Talking about you as if you’re this fully fleshed thing in front of him—mentioning the news thing you’d heard, something funny you’d said. 

He even mentioned you to Murphy. Again, not on purpose. 

Steve was quick. Picking up on it immediately in their latest monthly catch-up where usually Javi listens to how amazing, disruptive and yet tiring kids are—how Miami would be good for him, and that Connie misses him. This time it segwayed suddenly into, and who might she be then, Jav? 

It had crossed his mind to play it down. To conceal you—because a part of him suspects he should hate all of it.

Before, he had always preferred secrecy. Kept the women he had been seeing behind lock and key. Partially due to the nature, the risk—now, though, he thinks he just doesn’t want to share. 

Doesn’t want to taint it. Selfishly wanting to keep you all to himself, his slice of happiness that no one can dull.

It also aids in holding himself back from falling over the cliff, tumbling into ruin because he let himself get ahead of himself. 

Feel too much, too quick, because Javi didn’t even know what you looked like. Hadn’t eyed you up across a bar, hadn’t spotted you in the aisle of the store.

You’d stumbled into his life.

No reason, no real cause or explanation, and now he’s not entirely sure as to why he feels the amount he does. That he cares, that he likes you. How that when he talks to you, he feels only happy, content and joy—like he could do and be anything.

You provide the key to the semblance of normalcy he’s been longing for. Liking what others would think is mundane, like about your day. Now he longs for it all face to face, where he can read your face instead of dissecting your voice. 

She’s just someone I’ve been talking to. Don’t—don’t even know her, really.  You knew all the others well before? Fuck off, Murphy.  Just sayin’, sometimes, shit just don’t make sense, Jav. 

Steve says it as though it answers all his problems. 

Like he thinks the words will make all the pieces click into place, suddenly cemented and real—all understood and no longer complex. 

But it’s all still very much messy—a tangling of feelings that ready exist and more which threaten to come.

In truth, he doesn’t mind the complications of it all. He just thinks it’s best to protest it a little. Pretend he hasn’t abandoned all logic just because someone made him smile and feel a little less broken.

Because he knew, just like those around him, that he was done for. 

It all perfectly evidenced by the fact he doesn’t mind when his pop begins giving him one of those smirks more often than not—the ones surrounded by wiry white hair, partnered with a knowing look on his face. The same conversation circling, the one that’s been going on for days now—

“When the two of you meeting?”  “I don’t know, pop.”  “You made plans to see her yet?” “No, pop.”  “You should go see her. You need a break.” “Pop.” 

At some stage, his pop stops beginning it—challenging him. Now he just signals the words with a look. One he assumes parents are given when their child enters the world—the one that is part knowing and part ‘you know you’re going to do what I’m saying, anyway’.

Javi hates that more than he hates the rest of the situation. 

Because his pop isn’t wrong. He wants to see you, watch your expressions instead of imagining them. 

Not just to see what you look like, but so that he can see how you react when he says certain things. Whether you scrunch your nose or your lips curl before you smile; whether you hide your face when he embarrasses you, or whether you fold your arms and pout. 

Each time the two of you text or call, he thinks it—wants to bring it up and ask.

A need in him growing, in the same way his feelings do. Multiplying, quivering in his bones when you laugh, and it travels straight to his heart—making it swell and bloom. Filling the expanse of his chest until he isn’t sure he can feel any more happiness. 

Picking up the phone on the first ring, he hears your usual chirpy hey, which he follows with his now usual: “Hey baby.” 

“¿Cómo estás, Javi?”

“Ay, you’ve been practising.” 

Hearing you laugh makes him smile. Unknots the stresses of the day from him as he pulls the chair over—sitting on it as his head rests against the wall. 

“I purchased a Spanish for kids book, so that’s my skill level.” 

Smirking, he rolls his lips. “You trying for me?” 

“Sí.”

Snorting, he rubs the bridge of his nose. “Eres tan linda, querida.” 

“I know the last word means darling.” 

“I said you are very cute.” 

You pause, a shuffling sound coming from your side of the phone before the softest of sighs. “You’re making me blush, again.” 

“You make it too easy.” 

“Stop,” you say, all fake warning and all likely accompanied by a cute smile, “How’s your day been—tell me you got a splinter in your ass?” 

Smirking, he slumps further into the chair, legs spread, spare hand resting on his thigh. “Starting to think you only talk to me for my body.”

The laugh you let out is closer to a howl, and his cheeks hurt from hearing it—his grin so large, it doesn’t fade for hours. 

apprehensive feeling, 5 

Come on, Javi. 

I think it may be angst 

If I were there I’d kiss your cheek. 

I know you mean that in a nice way but it feels demeaning 

Oh no I meant it as the latter. 

is that how we’re being

You tell me. 

paris divider, 5 

Seine. You ever been to Paris?

no have you 

Not yet. 

not yet? 

Well there’s always time. Heard it’s a romantic place to go.

maybe if you were nicer someone would take you 

You make a good point. 

things go ok this morning

Not like I wanted but not the worst. I can apply but they’re playing the experience card again. 

bullshit, you ok

I will be. Thank you for checking in on me. 

you can tell me if youre not yknow

I just need to destress is all. It’s like talking to a fucking wall sometimes.

fuck I love it when you swear 

Javi, stop. 

do you really want me to 

No. But you’re making my face burn. 

bet you look real pretty getting embarrassed 

I actually do not, so you should stop so you don’t inflict the face on others. 

I don’t believe you

Maybe one day you’ll see it for yourself so you can believe me 

wish one day was today 

Why would you destress me? 

baby I’d make sure you couldn’t even think the word stress never mind feel it 

You confident in that? 

youll have to find out

Something was different in the air the moment he woke up. 

Things went far easier than they normally would. No one tried to bowl him over during feeding. The fence he went to check on didn’t look all that bad—and there wasn’t even a queue when he visited the homeware store for pop. 

There also wasn’t a rain cloud in the sky.

And it put him on edge. 

His gut—the one he had relied on to take down the narcos—flared back to life. It could be a good day, a once-in-a-blue moon, a blessing in a sea of disguise. 

But rationality didn’t stop him from checking over his shoulder, do a final sweep of the land. 

It had been like that when he’d first gotten back. All on edge, finding it difficult to settle. He had smoked back then, worse than he had done when he’d been over in Colombia. It’s why he’d chosen to quit.

Now, he rotated the phone between his finger and thumb, feeling it vibrate against his palm, checking if it was you before he allows the smile—the one you pull from him by just texting him—blossom. 

So I have good news and I have bad news lead with the bad first I can’t call you on Thursday night

His heart drops, plummets. 

A part of him knew something bad was around the corner. Taking in your text, over and over. Checking he understood it as he climbed the stairs up the porch. 

Javi rolls his head on his neck, staring up—the flies around the porch light buzzing away as he tries to compose himself. 

Somehow always knowing that deep down, this day would come. His mind is too quick to act, abruptly busy with conjuring thoughts. That old analytical part of him whirs back to life as it tries to make heads or tails of the situation in front of him, as though it was a case.

Because he suspects that your good news is that you have a date—someone you’ve seen face to face and has swept you off your feet. A person who will take you away from him because he can’t offer you that.

Plus, you don’t even know him.

Not really. 

He’s just this person you text. 

This person he feels…

well fuck. The good news best be the best news ever I think it is. Don’t tease me, querida Says you, baby.

Baby?

It takes him a second. 

The four letters blowing all the conjured theories well and truly out of the water. 

His eyes trace over the letters, even after he’s sent the reply. Javi’s heart suddenly in his throat, pulse in his ear—the blood banging around. 

Shut up. Anyway I can’t call you because I’ll be on an early flight in the morning to Houston. Work needs me to check out some odd sales. You’ll be in Texas? Yeah. So the good news is, if you meant what you said, we could meet in person.

He swallows, spine straightening—posture suddenly pristine, making the muscles in his back ache from the day as they flex and tighten under his shirt. 

You want to meet him. 

Or he thinks. 

Not wanting to read between the lines—needing the confirmation, to hear you say it. His shirt begins to cling to his back, hair falling over his forehead as sweat grows, strands of hair being grasped against his skin.

You want to meet me? Of course, I’m the one suggesting it. But if you don’t, that’s fine. I mean, I’ll begin judging how lonely you actually are if you don’t. But it’s fine.

His thumbs aren’t quick enough. 

Each text firing in—and he wishes, more than he usually does, that he could be there with you. Clutch your cheek, assure you, make you breathe—

baby breathe. I want to meet you, I do But? but nothing

Even if there is. 

There seems like there’s a but

Javi doesn’t mean to, but he laughs. 

Somehow, miles away—you can already read him. Know him. His thumb massaging his nose, wrist hiding his smile from the world. 

I’m nervous about the fact you could see me and never want to speak to me again You think I’m that shallow? No. It’s just you’ve been the best thing about my day in a long, long time, querida Call me. it’s late isn’t it Javi. 

He moves, the chair he had been on almost toppling over as he opens the storm door and then the next. Moving into the kitchen, not even needing to pull your number up. He knows it. 

It’s burned into him. 

The receiver meets his ear as you answer in record time as your voice greets his ears. Followed by a sigh when he greets you in a low-whisper.

“Javi, I feel the same.” 

He swallows. “Yeah?” 

Silence greets him before you do a soft laugh. That little one he’s begun noticing you do when you later tell him you’ve just nodded or shrugged—forgetting he can’t see down the phone. 

“I wanted you to call so you could hear it. That I want to meet you because I can’t stop thinking about you. And that might be insane, and odd. But… I like you. I feel things.” 

“I know,” he says, pressing his forehead against the wall—eyes closing, hand tightening around the phone. “I like you, too.” 

Javi hears it. The discernible way you relax. 

It comes across in the way you take a breath, in the way he suddenly feels his own shoulders slide from his ears. 

“But if it’s too soon, I can use some time off—“

“No, cariño. No. I… I want to. I’ll be there.” 

You swallow—loud in the silence. Almost clunky. “I’m scared too.” 

Opening his eyes, he stares at the peeling paint. Something running over him, from his head to his feet. It whispers to relax, to breathe—allowing him fully to do both. 

“You could… I don’t know, see me and find I don’t match the image of me you’ve created. Or, find me horribly boring. Or that I’m actually the strangest person. It’s scary. I’m scared too.” 

He nods, smiling to himself. “I’ll pick you up from the airport.”

“You don’t have to—“

“Baby.” It silences you, and the thought makes him smile. “I’ll pick you up from the airport, okay?”

It takes a beat. 

A full ten seconds. 

“We’re going to meet,” you say softly, almost wistfully. 

And it cracks then, a smile. A real one. His usual one. Turning on the spot, pressing his back against the wall, head meeting it as he lets the grin spread into his cheeks, almost to his eyes if his thumb and finger didn’t begin rubbing them. 

“We’re gonna meet,” he replies.

Opening his eyes, seeing the noticeable flicker of the television—its shimmering light flittering through the doorway, illuminating his pop, who is standing smiling at him. 

AN: remember, if you wish to see the deleted 18+ scene for the birthday bash, be sure to check back on 8th of July, otherwise see you next Tuesday 

next ->

[1d1195]

Dolcezza IV

Read Dolcezza here

A little fluffy, a little angsty; hope you like it! :)

~8.6k words

“Who’s Harry? He’s cute,” she smiled excitedly.

Shaking her head, she sighed. “Harry’s a friend.”

“A cute friend,” she whispered peeking over at him still chatting with her father and sister.

Her face warmed and she shook her head. “Stop.”

“Don’t know many boys who would drive them home to their crazy family and spend the day baking and running errands.”

She nodded. “I know.”

“Yes Mom, I know. I understand,” she listened to her mother at the other end of her phone. She piled her stuff in the back of her car and rubbed her forehead. Slamming the door shut, she continued listening to her mom ramble on and on. “I’ll be there in an hour and a half,” she assured her rolling her neck from side to side. A day off was rarely a day off for her. The peacefulness of her personal day was over. It was onto the chaotic portion which would no doubt leave her feeling unrested and anxious.

Thinking about her book, she heard her mom’s continued chatter. Her complaints of how no one helped her around the house and “did I tell you about who I ran into at the grocery store?”

“Mom! I have to go!” She longed for the book she was reading only an hour prior. Thought about the deep breathing from the online yoga class she followed from YouTube only two hours prior. Ending the call, she sighed heavily again, squared her shoulders, and fell into the driver’s seat.

With a frown, she looked at the empty restaurant, lights off, closed sign hanging in the window. She didn’t even get to see Harry before she left, and she really wanted to. Since Harry took care of her, she ached to see Harry more frequently but was trying to keep her distance so as not to overwhelm him. The last place she would ever want to see her stalker was at work (not to mention it would be worse since she mostly worked from home). For anyone, it was uncomfortable when someone was flirty and there was no escape (because it was their job to be there).

She should have just texted him. That’s what Harry gave her his number for right? To be friends?

To flirt, hopefully. She thought to herself.

But since he had given her number, she hadn’t been the first one to text. Call her ridiculous or playing hard to get. Part of her couldn’t believe someone as handsome and wonderful as Harry wanted to chat with her. She never wanted to bother him, and she imagined that if she started talking, she would never want to stop. Harry would need space and...

Well, it spiraled pretty quickly.

So, all their conversations over text had been through Harry sending the first message.

Since she helped that busy night a few months back, she made her way to the kitchen at least once a week. Antonio enjoyed her help and found her adorable and helpful in a way that he couldn’t find in many employees. “Don’t get me wrong tesorino, I love my employees. They’re family. But they’re also in high school and college and they don’t care nearly as much as I do about this place.” She overheard him tell Niall, “It’s nice to depend on her as a tenant, someone I can trust Leo with, and someone that cares for the restaurant like she’s worked here her whole life.”

It made her feel warm, and she loved helping. It had been nearly routine; working from home, going to the gym, running errands, eating eggplant and spaghetti, and smiling at Harry through the kitchen window. It was so nice to relax and be around people who liked her company. People who didn’t make her feel crazy like her family.

It was nice to relax and not worry about being followed for the first time in a really long time.

I could send a simple, “good morning, have a good day” text. She thought. It was harmless. She could do that.

Right?

Sighing, she decided against it. Maybe he was sleeping in. She tried to remember what day he had off that week but was coming up short. Maybe she would come say hello at the end of her long day if she wasn’t too exhausted. But it was unlikely that would be the case at the end of what would be a long, long day. There was always tomorrow.

Plus, if Harry ended up texting her back, she would probably crash her car to answer him. Shoving the key in the ignition, she was trying to be positive, but it was hard to do so when she was not going to see Harry and she was not looking forward to the rest of her day off.

The feeling was only amplified as her engine did not turn over. She groaned. “No, no, no…” she whined. She knew very little about cars. Every year she asked her parents to renew her AAA membership for her birthday. She was ever practical, and it was a huge joke among her extended family. It was something she hated paying for herself but wouldn’t be caught dead without.

Right when the car didn’t start, she should have just called AAA. But instead—maybe because she was already frustrated and anxious about dealing with her family—she got out of her car to look at the mechanical engineering, as if she even knew what she was doing. With her phone’s flashlight, she peered under the hood, like she would suddenly know what she was looking for. She readjusted the strap of her purse to keep it from falling into the greasy, mechanical things and getting disgusting. Always one to take the time to learn a new skill, her dad showed her how to change a battery, check her oil, and replace various things in her car once she got her license. She was praying the battery was somehow disconnected. Because even if she had called AAA right then and there, it would ruin her whole schedule. Her whole day. She would let her family down and that would...well that would be really bad for her psyche.

But at the heart of it, it really made no sense for her to look under the hood. The thought of seeing her family tended to wreak havoc on her mind and make her do things like this.

A gust of wind made it’s way down the road. It blew her hair in her face and as she tried to blow it back out of her mouth, she heard the thunk of her car door closing. She bounced at the sound because it scared her. Making her hit her head on the open hood. “FUCK!” She hissed, rubbing the sore spot. She hurried to look at the door that had betrayed her. “No, no, no,” she whined reaching for the handle, but her gut already told her it was too late.

“Oh, you have got to be kidding me!” she groaned rubbing her eyes with the heels of her palms. After thirty seconds of silence and utter disbelief, she began smacking the window with the open palms of her hands repeatedly. She made grunting and grumpy noises and kicked the tire for good measure. “You stupid piece—!” She hissed and continued to beat up the inanimate object.

Harry saw her from his own car when he pulled into the parking space nearby. Niall looked up from the passenger seat while Harry checked to make sure he was safely and adequately in the spot.

“Oof, that doesn’t look too good,” Niall murmured, just as she began attacking her car.

Harry hurried to throw the car in park and get out of his vehicle.

“Hey, hey, hey!” Harry rushed seemingly from nowhere. He quickly raced to her, pulling her by the hips swiftly so there was small distance from her vehicle to keep her from hitting it and preventing her from self-injury. “Principessa,” his voice was so soothing. Even though she was livid and frustrated, she couldn’t help but feel like he was speaking directly into her soul, his voice warm and perfect.

The few times she ended up in Dolcezza’s kitchen, Harry was somehow kinder to her than when they were interacting elsewhere. His voice was gentle as he walked past her with a hot tray. “Behind y’principessa,” or “watch y’hands, kitten, this one’s hot.” Something of that nature. Even when it was busy as could be, he would gently place a hand on her lower back and walk by her making her stomach flutter.

Harry touching her and physically pulling her away from her vehicle, on top of that soothing warm voice, almost made her feel remorse for attacking her car. “The car is gonna win, every time, kitten.” His hands now gripped the top of her arms holding her in place even though she strained ever so slightly against his hold to return to her frustrated movements. Niall was close behind. He tried all her doors to see if they were unlocked. But no dice.

Her face crumpled and Harry thought he would cry if she did. “This is the worst day off in the history of days off,” she moaned.

Harry released the top of her arms, skimmed down the length of them and rotated her hands for injury. All the while she explained the awfulness of the last ten minutes, all the things she had to do and why she was upset that this was the time her car had chosen to break down. Niall frowned at her story, no doubt feeling bad for her, but Harry could see the delight in his eyes. “Well, tesorino, don’t count today out just yet. Harry also has the day off. I’m sure he would be happy to drive you to your mum’s,” he clapped Harry on the back of his shoulder. “I’ll keep an eye on your car. Make sure they get your keys safely in my hands and your car to the dealership.”

Harry smirked awkwardly and coughed as Niall volunteered him. Of course, he would do it, but he knew that she would be upset.

It was evident by the way her skin pinked with the suggestion. The thought of Harry doing something kind for her without any return on his time investment? “No way,” she snorted almost bitterly. “This is an all-day expedition,” she shook her head. “I can’t ask you to give up your day off for me.”

This was great for Harry on fifty different levels, minimum. He would get to see her in her element, talk to her about a ton of stuff, meet her family, and see her hometown. There wasn’t a better day off to be had. Except she looked infuriated, and Harry wasn’t sure he was exempt from her frustration. She texted rapidly on her phone. “Could y’go another day, kitten?” Harry asked softly. She shook her head. Tears were definitely filling her eyes at the mere thought. “Okay, so let’s go,” Harry shrugged and walked toward his car. She frowned.

“You really... don’t mind?”

“Not at all.”

“Harry,” she whispered so quietly, and he turned around as he held the passenger door open. Her heart nearly stopped. She forgot why she was so mad. She wasn’t sure anyone had held a door open for her like that. Ever. “It’s... a lot,” she told him.

He smiled looking back over his shoulder. “Then we better get moving.”

She stayed put and felt so utterly awful, but Harry was waiting. It felt wrong to keep him waiting. Especially when she could only imagine what the day would bring without him really knowing.

“Did you desperately need anything in your car?” Niall asked, trying the handle once more.

“Yeah, like all that baking stuff,” she rubbed her forehead not having any kind of backup plan for that scenario. Harry frowned and closed the door to the car and started for the restaurant. At least Harry could come up with a backup plan for her.

“Why are you bringing baking stuff?” Niall peered into the backseat to see a bag of groceries and three cupcake pans, ignoring Harry’s path to Dolcezza’s front door.

“Uhh…” she swallowed hard. Obviously, whatever the reason was not something she felt like sharing. At least not right then. Harry frowned.

“It doesn’t matter, Principessa, don’t worry. Ni, can y’help grab some stuff,” he said opening the door to the restaurant. In a matter of minutes, she had replaced the groceries and metal pans that she had brought from her apartment.

“Niall, can you give them to Antonio when you get the car open?” She asked her eyebrows pinched together in worry.

He nodded. “Course, tesorino,” he smiled. “Don’t worry about a thing.”

“I would wait and ask Antonio for his key, get my spare car key, everything...but—”

“Principessa,” Harry said pressing a hand on her lower back making her feel like she might pass out. It took every ounce of restraint to not let the shiver threatening to roll through her body viciously for him and Niall to see her completely lose her mind over Harry’s touch. “S’okay. He’ll understand. Let’s go,” he smiled opening his car door again for her to sit in the passenger seat.

“Thank you,” she said gratefully. Harry rolled down the window as he started his car.

“It’s what friends are for, tesorino,” Niall winked at her. She was only a half hour behind schedule. An easy comeback.

She nodded. Other than Eleanor and Louis, she wasn’t sure she knew what that was like. “Well, still,” she said softly. “I’ll make it up to you,” she promised.

Niall smiled gently at her and caught Harry’s gaze very briefly before he pulled away from the curb.

*

Once on the highway, she made a call to her sister, and explained the problem. At the same time, Harry called Niall and gave specific instructions not to let her keys out of his sight. Overcome, once more by the worry of someone stealing her keys and finding her apartment upstairs. Throwing that thought out of his mind, he told Niall that he had to pass the car one off to the tow truck driver and hold her other ones until they got back. He also left him in charge of making sure her car was properly taken care of, and he was to text Harry if there was an issue. She spent the first hour of the drive near silence. Instead, texting and scrolling on her phone. It didn’t upset Harry, but it did worry him. “Do y’need anything kitten? Wanna stop for coffee or...?”

She shook her head. “Maybe later,” she answered.

He nodded. “Alright.”

It very much seemed like she didn’t want to talk. But right as the GPS alerted her that they would arrive in half an hour she started to squirm ever so slightly.

“Y’okay, Principessa?”

She sighed and put her head in her hands. “My family is a lot,” she told him. “Like just chaotic and a little crazy; it’s embarrassing.”

He frowned. “Okay, I’m... I’m sorry that y’feel embarrassed. But... every family has something, y’know?” His voice was gentle and quiet. Encouraging. “M’not going t’like... say anything.”

She nodded. “Thank you,” she looked at her lap, inspecting her fingertips.

“Plus, if... if you came from them... they’re already the most wonderful people I’ll ever meet,” he shrugged as if that wasn’t the sweetest, kindest thing she’d ever heard. He didn’t get a good look because he didn’t want to take his eyes off the road, but he hoped her cheeks were that pretty pink color.

“They’re good people...but...” she sighed.

“Kitten,” he reached over and put his hand on her squirming fingers. He gave them a reassuring squeeze. “S’okay. I promise,” he whispered.

She took a deep breath and looked out the window. Harry glanced at her briefly. It was the safest he had ever driven in his life—and he was already a safe driver. But even though he was desperate to hold her hand the way he was right now; he couldn’t help but feel bad about removing his hand from the two-position. She was the most precious thing he had ever had in his car and wanted to keep her safe no matter what—even if he really wanted to keep holding her hand and assure her it would be alright.

She looked at Harry in her peripheral. “My sister is going to fall in love with you.”

He smirked. “M’a bit older than her, yeah?”

“She’s eighteen,” she sighed. “But we think she was born as a thirteen-year-old.”

“S’a bit young for me,” he winked. She squeezed his hand as she smiled softly. Harry wondered if she knew she did that but didn’t want to bring it to her attention.

“Also,” she took another deep breath. “They don’t... I’ve never told them about the person following me,” she mumbled. Harry very nearly stopped the car.

He cleared his throat awkwardly. “Oh?”

“They would...” she shook her head. “I don’t know.”

“Isn’t y’brother a dispatcher? Does he want t’be a police officer?”

“Yeah...but...” she shrugged. “I don’t know. Please don’t mention it, not that I think you would but—”

“Kitten,” he frowned. “S’a pretty big thing t’hide from your family.”

“Well,” she was skimming her thumb along the back of Harry’s hand, and he had never enjoyed hand holding so much in his whole life. “It would just worry them,” her voice was quiet. Like she wanted to tell them. Maybe she wanted them to worry about her. “I don’t... they don’t need to worry about me,” she mumbled. “It’s not a big deal, really. You know?”

It was. Every time Harry saw her, there was the smallest part of his brain thinking about how someone was so obsessed with her that he watched her every movement for over a year. So much so that she had to move. It wasn’t a way to live, and she didn’t see it as a problem. Didn’t see it as something that people who cared about her should worry about. Harry wanted to cry about how sweet she was. She deserved... everything.

“I won’t say anything, Principessa,” he squeezed her hand. She smiled.

“This is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me... someone that isn’t Eleanor or Louis,” she explained.

“Eleanor...” he followed the GPS’s directions to get off the highway. It wasn’t quite a city, but not a small town either. There were lots of stores and restaurants right off the exit and Harry stopped at the red light. “El mentioned y’had an ex-boyfriend—”

“Course she did,” she rolled her eyes.

Harry ignored her comment. “—he must’ve... helped.”

She shrugged. “Yeah... but...” she looked at how her hands were holding Harry’s. It was so warm and somehow more intimate than every kiss she had with her ex. It felt like holding Harry’s hand was holding a piece of his heart and she didn’t necessarily think it was as simple as that... but she really liked it. “He... he complained a lot,” she mumbled. “I told you my family is a lot, and they are. But... they’re good people and I love them so it’s...” she sighed. “It’s complicated. I shouldn’t have dated him for as long as I did. Eleanor was probably right to not like him. By the end of it... it was like we lived two separate lives. I just did what I wanted and he...” she shrugged nonchalantly.

“You deserved more,” he finished.

“Well...I don’t know about—”

“No, Principessa,” he interrupted, cutting her off. “S’not a negotiation. You deserved more,” he promised squeezing her hand. They turned off the main road. Harry let her contemplate his statement in silence and continued following the GPS.

Her neighborhood was quaint and looked like a great place to grow up. It was the type of neighborhood little ones probably loved to Trick or Treat in. The kind where you could go to a neighbor’s house and ask for a cup of sugar and chat for so long you forgot to finish baking. Harry wondered if people sang Christmas carols or had block parties. But her grip had stiffened around Harry’s hand, and he could see her physically steeling herself. Her shoulders stiffened, everything about her seemed to be almost defensive. “If it’s too much for you,” she said getting out of the car and grabbing the baking items out of the back seat, “you can leave... there’s a cute mall with shops and restaurants back toward the highway if you need time to get away. I wouldn’t... I won’t blame you,” she turned her attention to the house she grew up in and looked at the Christmas lights still hanging from the gutter, draped on the shrubs.

It was February, now. Her heart felt heavy.

Harry had gotten screamed at during culinary school four and a half out of five days of the week. She was the kindest sweetest soul on the planet. There was no way her family could be so bad that he would feel the need to leave. “Thank you, kitten. M’going t’be fine,” he winked at her taking the bag of supplies and the pans from her, so she had free hands to open the front door. With a deep breath, she turned the knob and stepped inside.

It was loud. That was the first thing Harry noticed. There was yelling from one room to the other. In her defense, it wasn’t angry. It was as if they didn’t want to leave their rooms. The smoke detector was going off and a clang of pans coming from the kitchen. “She’s here!” A voice shouted from somewhere upstairs. Harry glanced around quickly catching pictures of when she was younger. He hoped he had a chance to look at them again later.

Harry watched her as she took in the scene. The living room and dining room were a bit cluttered. But it wasn’t as bad as she thought it was going to be. She hoped after she told them a friend was driving because of her car situation that they would clean up a bit. Maybe they did, or maybe her sister finally found better lighting in her room to do her makeup and skincare routine each morning instead of the living room. She pulled the items from Harry’s hands so he could take his coat off. He did so silently, and quickly took the items back from her so she could do the same.

Obviously, the smoke detector and kitchen were her first stop. “Mom,” she said evenly as she walked into the kitchen. Harry followed behind. It was a little more cluttered. Especially considering they knew she was coming over to bake cupcakes.

“Hey sweetie!” The woman turned. Harry could see his future. The sweet girl would grow up to be a pretty mom just like the woman in front of him. “Oh hello; I thought Eleanor was driving you.”

Harry saw her entire body flinch then, somehow, stiffen more. “Eleanor moved, Mom. I told you that.” The smoke detector was still going off and it somehow wasn’t fazing any of them and Harry found that rather funny and cute. But he was surprised that her mom didn’t remember her best friend had moved.

“Silly me, must have forgot,” she laughed and shrugged. She turned and took Harry’s items once more and set them on the little space left on the kitchen island.

“This is Harry,” she gestured to him.

Harry held his hand out. “Nice to meet you. You have a lovely home.”

She grinned and Harry could see every facial feature of the sweet girl had come directly from her mother. It was almost uncanny. “Thank you, Harry. Thanks for driving her,” she smiled. “Emma, honey! what are we doing with the smoke detector?”

“Nothing? Why?” The female voice responded.

Harry watched the girl’s face drop with exhaustion. The poor thing. They hadn’t been there longer than two minutes. Her mom rolled her eyes. “Can you turn it off?”

“I don’t know how!”

“I got it!” A male voice answered.

There was a clatter and a thud, but the alarm stopped. She felt the ringing of it still in her ears. “Honey, your daughter is here,” her mom sang.

After a moment, her father stepped into the kitchen joining them. “Hey sweetie,” he smiled. He nodded at Harry and gave his daughter a hug. She returned the hug, the light in her eyes seemed dead making her look stoic and tired. “No Eleanor?”

She nodded. “No Eleanor,” she sighed.

“Eleanor moved,” her mom answered pulling a casserole dish out of the oven. It smelled delicious.

“Really?” her dad said in surprise.

“M’Harry,” he said holding his hand out again for him to shake next. She was watching her mother with her casserole dish, she quickly moved things off the counter, so she had room to set it down. It wasn’t the most unusual thing, but it was very obvious that she was used to anticipating her family’s every movement. Maybe that’s why it was so nice to work with her in the kitchen at Dolcezza.

“What brings you here?” He asked.

“Emma’s bake sale,” she answered and began throwing used cooking utensils in the sink. She peeked into the dishwasher and noticed it was full. “Is this clean or dirty?” She asked.

“It’s clean. I asked Emma to empty it.”

“When?” she muttered under her breath looking at the stack of plates and dishes in the sink piling high enough that she thought she would have to run two loads while she was here. Harry was taking it all in, looking at the pictures on the fridge. “What’s she doing?”

“Who knows,” her mom smirked with an eyeroll. “Our princess is something else,” she explained to Harry with a smile.

Harry returned the smile but didn’t think Emma could be a princess. Not if she didn’t unload the dishwasher when she was asked. Nor if she knew how to handle a smoke detector. Harry got the sense that she was perhaps a bit spoiled—not through any fault of her own but ten years younger than her oldest sibling, she had to be waited on throughout her childhood.

Not to mention the only Prinicipessa in Harry’s life was the sweet girl he had spent an hour and a half with in the car. “Emma!” Her dad called.

“Coming!” She shouted and Harry heard a flutter of footfalls on the stairs coming from around the corner.

Her jaw dropped when she entered the kitchen. “You’re not Eleanor,” she said in surprise. Harry smirked. The poor girl looked ready to cry right there. Not one of them remembered. He wished he had her brother’s phone number just so he could warn him in advance. If he said Eleanor later Harry would lose it. He found it so unbearably sad, he thought she was going to cry. She flexed her jaw.

“Eleanor moved,” her dad explained.

“Huh,” she shrugged.

“M’Harry,” he said for the third time and held his hand out.

It seemed the genes she got from her mom were extremely strong. The three of them could have been mistaken for triplets. Her sister stared at him in surprise and nodded. “Emma,” she mumbled in surprise.

“Emma, can you empty the dishwasher since we have to make cupcakes and need space?” She asked.

Her sister rolled her eyes and Harry turned his attention again to the pictures on the fridge. Harry had his fair share of arguments with Gemma growing up. But he knew two sisters who argued could be on another level. “Did Mom ask you to ask me?”

Their mom opened her mouth, but she spoke before her mom uttered a syllable. “No Emma, but it’s courtesy to do what mom asks you to do, you know?”

“I was going to get to it after I finished my makeup.”

“Right because the dishes need you to be looking your best to get in the cabinet. Forget it. I’ll do it,” she sighed rubbing a hand on her forehead. “Why are the Christmas lights still up? I thought you were taking them down last week while James was home?” She wondered.

“James didn’t want to,” Emma shrugged. “Who cares? It’s pretty in the snow.”

She shared a look with her mom who once more looked so much like Harry’s sweet Principessa. She looked exhausted.

Oh.

Her mother’s genes were really strong. The exhaustion wasn’t something that just happened to her, it had been happening for longer than she had been alive.

“Alright,” she sighed and rubbed the back of her neck. “I will...manage that too.”

“Sweetie, you don’t need to do everything,” her dad said.

She turned to him briefly with an irritated expression. One that said, by all means, you do whatever you want. But it stopped as quickly as it started. After her expression returned to neutral, she began to unload the dishwasher. Harry wanted to keep a mental list of things to mention to her while he was here. The first being the look she gave her dad.

“Why are you making cupcakes?” Her mom asked quietly.

“I don’t know,” she sighed in frustration. “The winter carnival is expecting them or something...” she rolled her eyes. To her sister’s defense, she used to always make them when she was in high school. A “secret” recipe of hers (even if it was by all accounts a pretty standard cupcake recipe). But it had been talked about since she graduated. She made them for her brother and every year someone’s sibling of someone she knew from high school knew her and would ask.

Unlike her sister, everyone else had the courtesy to ask months in advance. Not a week like Emma. “I thought you knew!” She had exclaimed when she told her about it. “You always make them!”

“You didn’t ask!”

“I didn’t know I had to!” Emma was nearly hyperventilating on the phone thinking that she wasn’t going to make them because she had waited too long. But that was too much to explain to her mom. It was expected of her, and she should have known that she needed to make cupcakes. How could she not?

Harry was chatting with her father. Inquiring about how they had met and so forth. If Harry was into sports or if he liked fishing. She hoped Harry wouldn’t let it slip why she moved. “We haven’t seen her new place,” her dad admitted.

“S’nice. Y’should come by. We’ll make y’a delicious dinner too at the restaurant,” Harry promised.

She continued glancing over while the dishes were put in the correct cabinet, and she reloaded items from the sink to the machine. “Why don’t you make her do things, Mom?” She asked tiredly. Emma was inserting herself into the conversation with Harry and her dad. Her mom helped by clearing off the counters as quickly as possible.

She shrugged. “You know how Emma is,” she said.

“Kick her out,” she knew it was dramatic, but maybe even a threat would be helpful.

“Sweetie,” she rolled her eyes and shook her head. “You know that’s not how I operate. I could never kick out the three of you.” Plus, if she did kick her out, she would end up right at her doorstep. Right outside Dolcezza. “Who’s Harry? He’s cute,” she smiled excitedly.

Shaking her head, she sighed. “Harry’s a friend.”

“A cute friend,” she whispered peeking over at him still chatting with her father and sister.

Her face warmed and she shook her head. “Stop.”

“Don’t know many boys who would drive them home to their crazy family and spend the day baking and running errands.”

She nodded. “I know.”

Once the kitchen was mostly cleared, she was certain her dad loved Harry. To be fair, it was pretty easy to fall in love with him. She had done it about a thousand times. Emma was starstruck. She eyed his tattoos and his muscular arms. Harry had the best smile and the nicest eyes. Emma was going to be a giggly mess.

“Alright, I made shepherd’s pie for when you finish baking and before you go see James. What did he say he needed that you had to come?” Her mom asked.

Harry turned his attention back, wondering as well. She hadn’t said anything about the reason for her brother and added it to the list in his mind for when they headed to his off-campus apartment. “Just haven’t seen him in a while,” she shrugged.

“Probably needs money,” Emma snorted.

Her mom looked at her. “Sweetheart, don’t you dare give your brother money.”

She rolled her eyes. “Better me than you,” she mumbled.

Harry was starting to understand why this was going to be a long day.

*

Everyone left the kitchen and she got to work getting bowls, preheating the oven and all the other things she needed in a flurry of activity.

“M’not much of a baker, kitten. S’gonna have t’be all you. But m’really good at taking direction,” he promised with a smile. “Jus’ tell me what t’do.”

It was the cutest thing ever to see her put an apron on that was decorated with flowers on the print. She rolled her sleeves up to her elbows and twisted her hair back out of her face. She was adorable. “You’re sure?” She asked.

“S’all you, Principessa.”

“Okay, I just work really quick because I have to do other things so—”

“Okay,” he interrupted with a nod and a deeper smile. One that made the dimple in his cheek poke through. It poked right through her heart. “S’fine. I can do that,” he assured her with a head nod.

“Thank you, Harry,” she said gratefully.

“Course, kitten. M’happy t’help you. You’ve been helping so much in the kitchen. S’least I can do,” he squeezed her upper arm as he gazed at her hoping she would just see how much Harry liked her. They worked quickly, stirring all kinds of batter. They were making three different cupcakes: chocolate, vanilla, and red velvet. Her recipe was easy to follow. He liked her extra touches that made it her own and he thought that he would have to tell Antonio to hire her full time just to make cupcakes. “How come y’not a baker?” Harry was pulling the cupcakes out of the tins so he could place more paper cupcake holders to dole out more batter. He lined the cupcakes on every available surface. He insisted on this job since as he kept telling her, his fingertips were immune to the hot temperatures of the cupcakes right out of the oven.

“It’s a nice little hobby,” she smiled. “I don’t think I have enough good stuff just to open a little shop and sell cupcakes.”

“Would y’want to?” He wondered.

She shook her head. “No...I like my job. I’m good at it.”

“M’sure you are jus’ good at everything y’do, kitten,” he chuckled.

She smiled and put her hand on Harry’s arm as she walked behind him. In between rounds of trays going in and out of the oven, she was working on the pile of dishes and the dishwasher. It was almost done, and he was impressed (but not surprised) by how efficiently she worked. They chatted more about her job—she was a finance manager for a big company in the city near Dolcezza. She enjoyed it; her coworkers were nice, and people valued her skill. Not that that surprised Harry in the slightest. She found it nice to work from home as long as she maintained specific working hours.

“That was the hardest adjustment about working at home. I was worried I would just work all the time.” He nodded understandingly enjoying the passion she had for everything she did. “I think maybe if I wasn’t doing this, I would want to teach people about finance,” she shrugged.

“Y’would teach bratty teenagers?” Harry asked in surprise with a smile.

“I’m pretty good with them,” she winked and jutted her chin toward the empty hallway coming off the kitchen indicating Emma, of course. Harry laughed and shook his head at her.

After more chit chat, there were about 130 cupcakes cooling and waiting to be frosted after a while. “Do you mind helping with the lights?” She asked quietly. The last batch of cupcakes just went in, and all the cleaning was almost done.

Harry turned to see her pink cheeks. It was hard for her to ask for help, Harry could see that. But it was really exciting for him to hear her ask. It was a huge step. Even if it was already implied that he would help her with whatever. “Course, Principessa,” he smiled. “M’happy to.”

“This has to be the worst day off in the history of the world for you.”

“I don’t know. Cupcakes and a pretty girl?” She dropped her gaze to the sink and Harry smiled at her shyness. “S’better than me jus’ sleeping the day away,” he smiled.

“Don’t you have... a date or something?” She wondered, looking as far away from Harry’s face as possible. She didn’t want to catch his expression in her peripheral. “It’s Friday. I imagine you only get a Friday off once in a while.”

He smirked with a shake of his head. She was oblivious.

Or maybe she just didn’t want to see it because of who she was. Harry adored her and that probably scared some part of her, even he could recognize that. “It rotates,” he agreed. “But... no. M’not really interested in dating anyone,” he told her.

“No?” She frowned before she could stop herself. Immediately, she regretted saying it. But was desperate to know the answer.

His heart sped. He wondered if the strong, rhythmic beating would break one of his ribs. Closing the oven, he turned to see her still working on the dishes. But after a near silent moment, he stopped her movements, grabbed her by the wrists and turned her around from the sink. Her hands dripped water on the floor, and he shifted her so that her back was to the counter. His hands pressed on either side of her hips against it, and he put a breath of space between them. “I’d make an exception for you,” he promised and scanned her face. Her eyelashes fluttered and she swallowed hard.

“Yeah?” She whispered.

“Always, Principessa,” he murmured and dropped his gaze to her lips.

Her brain got the better of her again, making her mouth speak before she could comprehend what she was about to say. Her breath was airy, her mind spinning with the scent of vanilla cupcakes and Harry’s shampoo filling her nose as he leaned toward her. “You’re really going to kiss me in my parents’ house? When it’s crazy, and I’m crazy, and they’re—”

Harry chuckled, bringing a hand to the side of her face, and brushing his thumb against her cheek. As hard as his heart was beating, it felt so suddenly slow. Like this was normal and what he was supposed to do. It didn’t need a crazy heartbeat. It was simply what he was supposed to do. He glanced briefly around to see if her family was nearby—he wouldn’t want to intentionally embarrass her. “Yeah, kitten. Guess I am,” he shrugged and leaned the final distance to press his lips solidly between hers.

The moment his lips touched her, she felt her knees soften. Like she was going to fall over. All the blood in her body rushed from her extremities to her heart. It made her feel weak all over. His lips were so soft, like little down pillows. They weren’t chapped at all like she thought they’d be. Her whole body felt a rush of warmth, like the oven was open and brushing hot air over her. Her lashes fluttered, making her eyes close and she wished she dried her hands because she wanted to hold onto him, but didn’t want to get his shirt wet when he had nothing else to wear.

She sighed deeply. It was so sweet. It made his chest ache with want; he wanted to be closer. Wanted to kiss her longer. Wanted to wrap her in his arms and never ever let her go. Harry had never kissed anyone that had sighed so softly like that while kissing him. It was so very her and it made him feel like he was going to melt into the floor. Her lips tasted like chocolate from when she tested the batter. His hand kept hold of the side of her face while he nipped and pecked at her lips. The other pressed against the counter, the length of his body pressed to hers, the only two things keeping him upright and not bringing them down to the kitchen floor.

He released her lips after a moment causing a beautiful breathy sigh to leave her lips. His gaze was so intense she felt it in her stomach. It couldn’t have been more than forty-five seconds of kissing, but he would have taken an hour, and it wouldn’t have been enough. She wiped a hand on her apron and then brought it to her mouth to touch her tingly lips.

Harry’s breath was a little shallow and she was grateful he sounded a little worse for wear only because she was worried, she was going to pass out right in the middle of the kitchen. “Thanks,” she whispered.

He chuckled, shaking his head. That was very much a her thing to say at a time like this. It made his stomach flutter with excitement. “Pleasure was all mine, Principessa,” he mumbled pressing a kiss to her forehead and gently squeezing the side of her face as he held her cheek.

They stood for a moment staring at each other like they had never seen each other before. As awful as her day was, and as frustrated as her family could make her feel, this was infinitely better than what she thought it would be.

“We should... take care of the lights,” she whispered. Not that she wanted to, but kissing Harry with three quarters of her family one room away did not seem ideal.

He nodded. “Okay,” he released her cheek making her regret her choice because she felt utterly cold. She shivered and Harry sighed as he stepped away from her. Right as she turned back for the sink, the water still running, Harry caught her wrist again and pulled her so quickly to him her heart skipped a beat. “One more,” he mumbled and brought their mouths back together just as quick as he pulled her toward him, she hardly had time to react. His tongue gently tracing the length of her lip making her sigh again and he thought he would surely explode from how much he liked her.

*

“Where are the boxes?” She asked as she put her coat on. Harry pulled her hair from getting trapped and smoothed it softly on the back of her jacket. He found about a hundred excuses to touch her in the last half hour while they waited for the cupcakes to finish and for her to finish cleaning. The kitchen looked better now that she had been in there.

“In the attic,” her sister said looking up from her phone briefly. She sighed, frustrated that her siblings hadn’t even gotten the boxes down last week. Harry followed her upstairs. In the little hall between all the doors leading to what he assumed were bedrooms and at least one bathroom, was the ceiling door for the attic.

She pulled the cord to bring down the ladder, the hinges of the door groaning.

“Sweetie, wait!” Her mom shouted suddenly. Harry yanked her so hard around her waist as the door opened widely. He pulled her back toward the empty half of the hallway, causing them to fall in a heap right as the ladder half fell, dangling, unhinged to half of the frame of the opening. She would have gotten a serious smack to the face had Harry not pulled her out of the way. She felt so warm in his arms. Even if her falling on top of him with her full weight could not have felt good. She could feel her face burning in embarrassment.

“Emma, are you fucking serious?!” She screamed. She scrambled to get to her feet. She helped Harry back to her feet. “Are you okay?” she asked nervously, her eyes looking him over quickly and her mom had reached the top of the steps. Her eyebrows pinched together. She looked so emotionally hurt. The poor thing.

Harry shook his head looking at the ladder and then at her, still worried she hurt herself. He definitely yanked her really hard, and he did his best to take the brunt of the fall, but that couldn’t have felt good. “M’fine, Principessa, are you alri—”

“How is that my fault?!” Emma shouted.

“You knew it was broken and didn’t tell me?!” She hurried down half the steps to yell at her sister.

“Harry, I’m so sorry,” her mother said.

“It’s okay. We’re alri—”

“Is that why you two didn’t do the decorations?” She was seething. From the top of the steps Harry could see her shoulders heaving with each breath. “Are you serious?”

“What?!”

“The ladder almost hit Harry and I!”

“Kitten,” he started down the couple steps and he touched her shoulder gently.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Her mom asked.

“I was going to fix it tomorrow,” her dad called from another room.

“I’m fine, I promise,” Harry smiled gently at her mother wondering how she could be ignoring the screaming match.

“Why are you even dealing with the decorations, you came to bake cupcakes!”

“Emma you’re being a selfish brat, not once did you say thank you—”

“Principessa,” Harry’s voice was low, and he moved his hand to her lower back.

“You always make cupcakes!”

“—you do nothing but make messes that Mom has to clean up you could have at least put the decorations away!”

The screaming was reaching levels Harry hadn’t heard before. Especially not from his sweet, pretty angel. He worried about how her throat would feel from yelling so loud and of course the anger that was rippling through her made him worry she would shake so much she would fall down the steps.

“Sweetie,” her mom said pushing past Harry very gently. “It’s okay—”

“Mom, it’s not okay. She is a lazy, spoiled brat and you don’t—”

“Just because you’re older doesn’t mean you get to come over and act like you run everything! You act so high and mighty! We’ve been fine without you living here and bossing all of us around. Can’t you just relax for two seconds and stop being a bitch?!” Emma did not once get up to look at her sister during this conversation.

She finally stopped. Her breathing no longer heaving, she stopped shaking. She flexed her jaw. “The cupcakes need to cool. We’re going to see James and I’ll be back to frost them when we get back,” she snapped and headed down the steps.

“Sweetie,” her mom said softly.

“Dad,” she called stiffly.

Harry followed as quickly as he could.

“Yeah?” His voice was quiet.

“Can you bring the ladder inside that will reach the attic while I’m gone?” She asked.

“Sure thing, sweetie,” he promised.

She walked right out the door and closed it behind her.

“I am so sorry, Harry,” her mom whispered.

“It’s alright. M’gonna make sure she’s alright. I have a sister,” he said encouragingly with a gentle smile. “I get it,” he shrugged. “We’ll be back,” he promised following after her.

*

They drove in silence to her brother’s apartment. Harry reached over and placed his hand on the top of her thigh, but she didn’t hold it the way she had when he drove earlier. She stared out the window the whole time. There wasn’t a word of discussion. Harry didn’t speak, he didn’t play music, just gently moved his index finger back and forth, trying to soothe her as much as possible from the small movement.

James was a half hour away from their house and when there was only ten minutes left of the drive, Harry cleared his throat. “That wasn’t nice of your sister,” he whispered.

“Can we do this later?” She answered.

He frowned. “Principessa.”

“Look, it was really bad and I’m so embarrassed that you saw that and heard that. I’m sad you gave up your day off to deal with my insane family. I feel bad you’re stuck with me for the remainder of the day so I would rather just have you tell me to leave you alone when we’re on the way home—”

Shaking his head quickly, Harry thought about pulling over because surely they had entered an alternate dimension. “Kitten, what on earth are y’talking about?”

“I don’t want to do this, Harry. I’m so close to crying, it’s not even funny.”

He was quiet for a full minute. “Y’don’t have t’be embarrassed around me, Principessa. M’not going anywhere. The only reason I wish we were on our way home is so I could walk y’upstairs and kiss y’outside your door for a lot longer than we did,” he squeezed her thigh gently.

Another silent minute. They were five minutes from James’ place. “Really?” She whispered.

He glanced at her. He could see her teary gaze. The one that broke his heart when she wasn’t feeling well. It broke his heart all over again. “Really, kitten,” he promised. “We can talk ‘bout it later. But y’family doesn’t make me like y’any less. Other than worrying ‘bout you, m’having a lot of fun,” he promised. “Got a new cupcake recipe, got to see cute baby pictures of you, and got to kiss you. So...this is pretty much the best day off I’ve had in years.”

Her heart felt splintered and broken by her sister’s mean words. She was certain Harry would hate her and wouldn’t want anything to do with her. “You still want to kiss me?” She asked.

“Always, Principessa,” he nodded. “I’d ‘ve kissed you the whole way here if it were possible,” he assured her.

Taking a deep breath, she nodded. “I’d like that,” she admitted.

He chuckled, smiling happier than he felt the last twenty-eight minutes worrying about her. “I really, like you Principessa,” she turned that pretty pink that Harry liked so much. He could see it in his peripheral. “I don’t think you’re bossy or mean. I think you are the kindest, most caring person ‘ve ever met,” he put his car in park outside the apartment building the GPS directed him to. He cupped her face again and kissed her forehead. It felt perfect. Like Harry had kissed her a hundred times before. He peered into her eyes with the same look he had right before he kissed her in the kitchen.

“I’m sorry. I think... we have to wait,” she whispered her breath catching in her throat. She felt dizzy with his breath filling her senses. He frowned.

“Don’t want to kiss?” he asked worried she was still going to push him away.

“No... no...” she shook her head her breath uneven. “I do. I very much do. But I won’t...” she sighed nodding quickly. “I won’t want to stop. And I—”

Harry chuckled dropping his lips to press a line of kisses from one cheek to the other over the bridge of her nose. “S’okay, kitten. I’ve waited nearly nine months t’kiss you. Can wait a few more hours,” he promised.

--

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[after-urh34rt]

"like? No. I adore you!!"

The first years trio going to their favorite popstar's meet and greet!

JJK first years x you 🫵

A/N: IK IVE BEEN GONE FOR YEARS AND IM SORRY PLZ FORGIVEE WITH THIS POSR 🫶

pt. 1

Itadori

• I have a feeling this man would get everything he has of your stuff autographed, and I mean EVERYTHING.

• He wouldn't mind people judging the fact that he listens to you. "I think they make good music if I'm being honest, you should try to listen to them too! They make great music!"

• He would most definitely pour his heart into how much he loves and adores you and your music.

• definitely blasts your music 24/7, even when he's in the shower he's singing your music. To the point where Megumi is concerned for his mental health.

• He knows every song you ever made, word for word. He can sing the lyrics to each song with no music, yes, he's that type of fan.

•since he's busy he's never had the time to go to any of your concerts, he was especially sad when he figured out you were having a concert in Tokyo but couldn't go since he had a mission to do. By the time he got done with it, the concert of over. He cried to Megumi about it and cried in his room the whole night.

•but luckily he was in the area to be able to go and pay for your meet and greet!

•he WOULD go to his dorm and bring his stuff to get autographed (as I stated before) but who knows going long you would stay there for? As much as he wants to get all of his stuff autographed, he's not taking the chance to miss your M&G.

Once it got to Itadori's turn he was more than happy to be there. "Hey~, how are you? It's your favorite popstar [your name]!" The popstar said as they made their signature pose, the male instantly smiled and hands the popstar a copy of their keychain. "Can I have this signed? I really love your music, I would bring in my other merch of yours but I'm kinda in a rush and only had this in my pocket". The popstar laughed lightly as they nod. "Of course I can, and I'm so sorry to hear that. Thank you for supporting me and my music career!". The popstar signs their autograph and asks for one request, " this is quite bold of me to ask but..Your hair looks so fluffy, may I have permission to touch it?". At first Itadori seems surprised at the request but it's replaces with a warm smile, "sure! I don't mind". As he bends over to let you touch his hair. Later on throughout the day Itadori is seen by everyone else as happy as ever, just know, he will never wash his hair ever again.

Megumi

• honestly, Megumi is the LAST person to be expected at a meet and greet.

• I mean, what do you expect? Don't act surprised and disappointed, you expect a guy with a 'tell my mom I love her' 'no tell her yourself' type of mindset to be seen at a meet and greet??

• he would never admit to liking your music, no matter how much he likes it. I can say that as a guaranteed.

• "hey have you heard of [your name]'s music?" // "Yeah". // "Oh, well do you like their music?" // "....oh look, a cat".

•yeah, that's how the conversation would go if someone asks if he likes your music. HE WOULD CHANGE THE TOPIC, QUICK.

• he has a few merch from you, maybe like a small keychain or a small plushie. Nothing obvious though. Something that no one would really notice or pay attention too.

• not really the type of guy that would feel bummed out for missing a concert, maybe a little upset, but nothing like crying over it like itadori.

• in able for him to go to a meet and greet, he would make sure and I mean, MAKE SURE no one seems him entering or leaving.

• he would pull the collar of his uniform up to where you can't see his mouth or his nose as he walks in and out.

As it was Megumi's turn to meet the popstar, they smiled. "Hey~, how are you? It's your favorite popstar [your name]!", The popstar said as they made their signature pose. Megumi felt his face getting red as he hands her a small plushie, ".....can you sign the shirt...please?". He would definitely say this flustered while covering his face. After the popstar gave him the plushie back, they would hold Megumi's hands and smile. "Please come again!". Yeah sure he's gonna wash his hands but he'd never forget your touch.

Nobara

• She would be the only one that would understandably go to your meet and greet.

• She would not feel ashamed saying she listened to your music, "so? Who cares if I listen to them, it's my music taste and if you don't like it then piss off!".

• has about maybe 5-10 merchandise from you, if not more. Most of them being keychains and maybe 2 plushies, and she's proud to have them.

• she would NOT miss your concert, not under any condition

•oh she's sick? Doesn't matter. Have a mission? She's getting it done, QUICK.

•if she did miss a concert she would make a big scene about it, maybe cry and feel upset over it for about 5 hours but other than that, she's alright.

•She would walk in and out of your meet and greet PROUD.

•depending on your gender kinda depends on how she'll react to being at your meet and greet.

•she would be proud no matter what! But if your a male, I feel like she would be more nervous when meeting you.

FEMALE

As it was Nobara's turn in the meet and greet, the Popstar smiled. "Hey~, it's your favorite popstar [your name]!", The popstar said as she did her signature pose. Nobara gave a slight smile as she hands the shirt to the popstar, "hey, can you sign this shirt? Big fan of yours". The female gasps as she sees another female, "oh my, Another girl! Of course I will, thank you for being a fan of mine!". The popstar says and Nobara chuckled. "No really, I've been a fan ever since your [any name title] album. Your music is just so amazing I honestly don't know what else to say". The popstar only laughs. "Haha, that's a long time. Thank you for supporting me! Here you go!". The popstar kisses the shirt, "a good luck charm!". Nobara is surprised and smiles. Do know she is wearing that shirt everyday.

MALE

As it was Nobara's turn in the meet and greet, the Popstar smiled. "Hey~, it's your favorite popstar [your name]!". The popstar said as they did their signature pose. Nobara flush a little, not enough to notice though. Nobara hands the male popstar a shirt, "hey, sign this". The popstar laughs a bit and signs the shirt, "what a demanding request, anything for a fan of mine though". That sentence wasn't enough, it was the wink that was sent at the end that done it. Nobara was flustered as she looks away. The male then kisses the shirt, "good luck charm. Come again, yeah?". Best believe SHES DEFINITELY COMING BACK.

[levi501ackerman]

That Day | Levi x Reader Angst

masterlist

Summary: Ever since That Day . . . Anytime you became lucid, Levi spent all the time with you that you could offer him.

Word Count: 10.1k ( about 50 mins to read)

Megan's Note: This popped into my head the other day and I had tunnel vision to write this. I have written 90% of Part 3 of Allegiance. I decided to write this in one part and it's not entirely proof read cuz now that I am done I need to focus on finals LMAO. Posted: 5/2/24

TRIGGER WARNING: torture, scars, mentions of underweight. (please lmk if there's anything else I should add because I've never written anything this dark.) It's supposed to be angsty AF. Please know I did my best and I understand for having medical stuff wrong or something unrealistic. Enjoy and lmk if you cried cuz I cried.

“This will not be discussed again,” Levi said firmly to the girl in front of his desk. She was frustrated and tearing up. Her dark hair was long and the girl had her arms crossed. Levi started pretending to read, hoping the girl would get the idea to leave. Annoyance crept up because the girl was still in front of Levi. He had nothing left to say. “Please, leave. I don’t want to discuss anything un-scout-related with you.” The girl sighed and headed toward the door. Before she could get near the threshold, there was a knock from outside.  

“Captain Levi, It’s Eren Jaeger.” The voice said behind the door. The girl glanced at Levi and then opened the door for him. Eren’s eyebrows were furrowed and raised, his eyes alert. Then suddenly dropped to confusion, “Oh hey Grace,” She walked passed without greeting him. Eren’s anxious tone returned, he was slightly sweaty and out of breath from dashing to the Captain’s office. “It’s Y/N. She’s lucid.” Levi looked at Eren, he slowly started rising from his desk. Engaged and forgetting anything else he was focused on. 

Hange and Moblit with a clipboard stood against the wall in an attempt to stay out of the way. They were quietly listening to the girl behind the curtain groan. A nurse could be heard trying to get the girl to drink water, but she kept rejecting the offer. The girl kept mentioning how cold she was. Hange had not visited Y/N in a few weeks. At the end of each lucid episode, it was filled with nothing but frustration and guilt. If only things went differently. Levi and a few others should be here any moment. The door opened and Sasha entered, quietly. She knew the protocol, she stood next to Moblit near the door and silently greeted Hange and Moblit. 

“NO! No, please! I don’t want shots!” Hange could hear you hoarsely beg. Hange breathed deeply. She thought to herself, you’re in the room. We are safe. “Can we wait?! Please, no!” You screamed. Behind the curtain, the nurse softly reassured you and asked you to lower your voice. 

“I think we’ll start as normal, have Doctor Winston Yates and Levi assess Y/N, and go off based on this first hour,” Hange whispered. Moblit and Sasha nodded. “I assumed Mikasa has been reminded of her role?” Sasha nodded again. The door opened again and Dr. Yates walked in. He gave Hange, Sasha, and Moblit a thumbs-up with a big smile. The older man brought a warm presence. He lively strode behind the curtains.

“Y/N! Good to see you awake . . . she’s on IV fluids?” He loudly greeted you. 

“Yes,” the nurse said. 

“Tell me how you feel right now, don’t hold back on me!” His chuckle is probably what you needed to hear. You didn’t hear much laughter anymore. 

“I’m tired . . .” You said softly. The door opened once again with Levi hastily entering the room, he glanced at the three and then went behind the curtain. Eren entered and held the door until it closed with a quiet click. “Levi!” You said and Levi sat in the chair next to your bed. You reached out your hand. He sat down and with a soft embrace he held your hand. 

“Y/N, how do you feel?” He asked in a low voice. 

“Good, I want to sit outside.” Levi smiled and Dr. Yates and the nurse laughed.

“That’s what we want to hear!” The nurse said.

“We can go outside, later,” Levi assured.

“We need to give her a shot, she’s on her usual IV with concentrated vitamins and minerals.” The nurse said lowly to Levi and Dr. Yates. You panicked and jerked away from the nurse. You couldn’t get far with the straps still clamping down your ankles. But you moved as close to Levi as you could. He wrapped an arm around you and then looked you in the eyes.

“Just a shot it’ll be over really quick.” Levi whispered.

“I’ll need her arm.” Levi freed you and held your hand with both of his. The nurse rubbed your arm and you felt the cool sensation. You closed your eyes. “Okay and you’re done.” 

“What!? I didn’t even feel it,” You said.

“There you go! Next time, bump her TPN to 2 liters,” Dr. Yates said, looking at your arms. 

“See nothing to worry about.” Levi said and you smiled at him. “Let’s brush your teeth and clean yourself a little then we can sit outside.” 

5th Debriefing Session:

Hange glanced at her notes before speaking. She sat in a comfortable chair at a table where the survey corps typically held meetings. Dr. Yates, Levi, Commander Erwin and Moblit sat at the table and turned their attention to Hange. Hange hated the debriefings. All of them did They only happened at the end of your lucid episodes. 

“According to this recent episode, Y/N stayed lucid for four days. Her 2nd longest lucid. This time she was showing a more closed off demeanor. She only wanted to socialize with Levi, Sasha Brause, Dr. Yates, and Eren Jaeger. She was opposed to physical touch except for Levi . . .” She looked at her clipboard and sniffled. “My hypothesis was correct that when Y/N showed signs of starting to revert and feel triggered, Sasha’s presence made Y/N feel safe. Twice during this episode, Y/N started screaming and Sasha was introduced and Y/N appeared to calm down and eventually went back to a neutral state. And like Dr. Yates mentioned in his therapy debriefing, Y/N is showing signs of improvement.”

“Day by day. She’s getting better,” Dr. Yates said to Levi. Levi was looking down at his lap. He hated these sessions too even though they were important. Though he did recognize signs of improvement, he felt defeated every time you got triggered. Guilt shredded him, as he went through the past seven months without you fully. Levi wanted you to live life with him.

“White pants or black pants?” Levi asked you, holding up both pairs. 

“Black.” For the first month after That Day, the pinstriped scars on your legs triggered you. As they healed and were less bloody, scabby and painful they didn’t visually trigger you anymore. That was the first success from Dr. Yates working with you. Levi went behind the curtain and pulled it behind him to give you some privacy. It was now only you two in the cold room. When you pulled back the curtain slowly you let out an unsure sound. “Um . . .” Levi looked over at you looking down at your big pants. His heart dropped, but wasn’t going to let you see his disappointment in you losing more weight.

“We’ll eat soon. Try rolling it.” He said.

“What?” He approached you and grabbed the pants and folded it down so the waist wouldn’t fall down. Levi couldn’t help but catch your eyes. He wanted to kiss you, but to him you were so fragile. You kissed him on the cheek and it elated him how lovingly you were this time. He wrapped one arm around you and squeezed you.

4th Debriefing Session:

 “Y/N’s overall behavior this episode . . .” Hange said and then let out a sigh. “Was . . .” 

“Aggressive.” Levi said. 

 Hange held two bowls of hearty soups with bread. One bread had an excessive amount of butter on it and in one of the bowls there was extra oil in the soup. She carefully walked with the meals in her hand. Moblit was next to her with the clipboard. 

“With the extra butter and oils, I’d track probably a thousand calories for this meal. If we can get her to eat again later, I’ll call that a success.” Hange said and Moblit was writing on the clipboard in his hand. They walked outside of the dining hall and saw you and Levi in the distance. You were sitting on a bench under a tree facing away. 

“Section Commander, her bread is as wet as the soup.” Moblit said, eyeing the pound of butter on your slice of bread. 

“ . . . I’ll do anything to have her be healthy again . . .” Hange said. Birds flew away from the tree Levi and you were sitting under. She sighed. Moblit looked at her and recognized her anguished expression.

“Don’t be hard on yourself. Torture trauma could take multiple years to recover from . . .” Moblit said.

“ . . . I just think about . . . only if . . .” Hange stared at the grass in front of her. Then she recognized the beauty of that moment. You were lucid and cooperative. Moblit was right to not be hard on herself. It was a good day because of the sun and the slight breeze. It has been Months since you were outside. Not only that, you wanted to go outside. Inbetween most of your lucid episodes, you were sedated, because you wouldn’t stop screaming or kicking. Your vocal cords would get shredded and you would lose your voice. “Good Morning, Levi! Y/N! Are you hungry?” Hange found it deep inside her to sound joyful. You whipped your head around toward the voice. You gasped excitedly and jogged toward Hange. Levi walked toward the three after.

“For me?” You asked.

“If you won't eat it, I will.” Hange bent a little to your height with a smile. Levi took the two bowls from Hange. When the food was out of the way you hugged Hange and she froze out of shock then embraced you lovingly. She hadn’t received a hug from you in a while. You seemed excited for her to be around. You hugged for more than five seconds and when you realized Hange wasn’t going to pull away you did.

“Thank you for the food!” You said, “Come sit with us!” You grabbed Hange’s wrist and pulled her toward the bench. “You too Moblit”. When you looked back, you saw him writing on his clipboard and then he grinned at you. When you got to the bench Levi handed you the bowl with the extra oils and butter. “Oh . . . I don’t think there’s room on the bench.” You scooted all the way next to Levi and assessed if Hange could fit in the small space. 

“Oh no worries—”

“Levi, get up.” You said and he obeyed, which Hange laughed. Levi faced you while still standing next to you. He didn’t want to leave your presence or miss anything you did. Hange sat down next to you. 

“She’s been asking about you,” Levi said to Hange then sipped his soup. Hange was certainly intrigued especially since the last time was not a good experience with you. She felt a sliver of hope.

“Have you been missing me?!” She asked. It was an eye opener for her, the last two months were not physically good for your health. Her heart dropped analysing you, you were skinny, looked dull and genuinely tired. She regretted not visiting you enough.

“Yes, I feel so . . . out of it. Like I woke up from the longest dream . . .” You said. Then took a spoonful of soup making sure to get a little bit of the chicken onto the spoon. 

“She was talking about the time you were teaching her how to braid hair.” Levi said. 

“Hmm. Are you sure that was me?” Hange asked.

“Oh well, I thought it was you, maybe not.” You laughed. 

“Hey, eat before it gets cold,” Levi said, tapping your ankle lightly with his foot.

“Yeah. Yeah. I just want to talk to Hange.” You said.

“Awe, you’re so cute. But Levi’s right, you wouldn’t want your food to get cold.” Hange said.  

“Could you have put any more butter on this bread?” You laughed and Hange laughed it off.

“Try it like this,” She took your bread and dunked it in the soup. The bread was dripping in broth, butter and oil. You took the soaked bread and attempted to take a bite out of it without dripping on yourself. 

5th Debriefing Session:

“Yes, day by day, Y/N is getting better. My only concern is that she stopped having an interest in eating. Levi informed me that she would push around her food and barely drink water. I sat a table over and noticed two evenings in a row she only took a few bites.” Hange read from her notes. “However, I noticed the start of a trend. She always finished a bowl of soup. Perhaps at least one of the meals for the day needs to be soup.”

“We can start a total parenteral nutrition IV when sedated. Then adjust the dosage.” Dr. Yates said and wrote the note down. 

“Great. Another thing I wanted to talk about which I mentioned before was her social behavior . . .” Hange took a deep breath then focused on her notes. “Y/N had a small improvement from her last episode. This episode Y/N wasn’t against socializing. Besides the few previously mentioned she seemed fearful or hesitant around some friends. I do not want to describe her as shy, just . . . disinterested.” Hange choked and then took another deep breath.

Levi stared at the books on the bookshelf. He couldn’t look at his friend.

“How are you?” You asked Levi. “You are more quiet today.” He smiled, grabbed your hand and lifted to kiss the back of your palm. The four of you were on a short walk. You were unknowingly walking toward your next few tests. Hange was on the other side of you with Moblit on her side. A few scouts would walk past and greet Levi. He ignored them.

“I’m at peace being with you.” He said softly knowing moments are fleeting. You thought he was being cute. You stepped in front of him, wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed him. It took him by surprise. But you were giving him a pleasure he wasn’t going to deny. He kissed you again, deeply and he thought how there is just no one else in his life he wanted. Levi was willing and planning on being patient for the time it took you to heal. Years. Decades. You made it through That Day. Levi knew you were worth the time to heal. He knew that healing was not linear. He intended to be with you for all of your moments. He remembered something and reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out your ring. “I cleaned it.” He grabbed your left hand and slid the ring on your left ring finger. Then he warmly smiled at you, gazing at his special girl. “Someday when you are healthy, we’ll get married . . .” Levi realized they were out in the open in public and glanced towards Moblit and Hange. Moblit was writing on his clipboard and Hange was acting like the bowls she was holding was the most interesting thing. He clasped your hand and continued walking, Hange and Moblit slowly trailed behind you. 

When you got closer to the entrance of the dining hall the more noise you could hear. There were scouts laughing with each other. Some people standing in groups talking to each other. Some were out in the front enjoying the sun. A few people grouped in the front. Some faces you recognized but you haven’t ever conversed with. It was getting louder as you approached the threshold. A girl with pretty dark hair caught your eye.

“Mikasa?” You asked a little unsure. The girl’s eyebrows raised and her eyes were wide. “Mikasa Ackerman?” She stepped closer to you. Hange, Moblit and Levi could see Mikasa’s eyes start to gloss over. 

“Y/N . . .” Mikasa said calmly. 

“I haven’t seen you in a long time,” You hugged her and she hugged you back tightly. Mikasa didn’t want to let go. She kept blinking, but her eyes were filling up with tears. You pulled away, “How are you?” You asked brightly. “Keeping Eren out of trouble?” She smiled through her tears. “ . . . What’s wrong?” 

“We haven’t seen each other in a while. It’s happy tears.” She sniffled and you laughed. 

“You look sad,” You said and touched her hair. 

“I have something for you . . .” Mikasa gently went through a small bag she usually did not have with her. 

“What is it, Mikasa?” Hange asked.

“She got me a present!” You said excitedly. Mikasa found what she was looking for. She gently brought out paper that was folded twice. 

“I found this a few weeks ago and I want you to have it.” She handed you the folded paper and you hesitantly took it. You carefully unfolded the paper. On the paper was a drawing of three girls. You gasped. It was a drawing of Mikasa, Sasha and you and the background you could tell was your room from your cadet days. Mikasa sniffled, blinked back tears, and quietly took a deep breath. “Remember? Jean drew us and Sasha when we were roommates in the cadet corp.” The drawing of you and your friends was done in pencil, but along the edge of the paper were names written in ink. In elegant penmanship was written: Mikasa, Sasha and Y/N. “I had it all these years, but I think you should have it.” Your heart felt like it was swelling in your chest. How could you not? You thought of the fun times you and Mikasa would plug Sasha’s nose when she was sleeping. She would swat and roll over leaving you and Mikasa giggling. You thought of the time when you peed your pants because Sasha made you laugh so hard. Another memory of Mikasa teaching Sasha how to braid hair and she tried it on you and put knots in your hair. Mikasa had to cut your hair. It ended up so badly that Mikasa braided your hair for the last year of the cadet corp. You thought of the time you stole Mikasa’s shirt for the day then when heading to bed your mattress was gone. Mikasa was like the sister you always wanted. You hugged Mikasa and she let a tear fall. She closed her eyes and enjoyed that moment. 

“ . . . You’re the one that taught me how to braid hair . . . This is so sentimental, Thank you.” You said and when you pulled away you analysed the drawing again. “Hey, how's Jean? I’m surprised I haven’t seen him yet . . . Where’s Eren? He’s usually . . .” You froze, you felt cold. You felt sick. Why did you feel scared? Mikasa stared back at you, her eyes grew bigger. 

“Y/N.” Levi grabbed your arm and held your head while embracing you. 

“How do you feel? Tell me your thoughts.” Hange said worryingly. She tugged on your shirt gently. You stared off and then you looked at Mikasa.

“I was just . . . wondering where Eren was . . . you two are usually together.” You said dazed and confused. 

“Let’s sit down . . .” Levi said and you stared at Mikasa. She was still in her stance. She looked at you carefully, she didn’t want to frazzle you. Though this moment for her was fleeting, she looked at you and appreciated that you were alive and lucid.

“Do you want to sit with me?” You asked Mikasa. More tears streamed down her face with a smile. 

3rd Debriefing Session:

“There’s not a clear indication why Y/N’s long term memory was affected. There are gaps—not remembering long term friendships, routines, and some milestone events. But with this episode lasting 28 days and with the evidence that over time her health did improve over the 28 days.” Dr. Yates said. Levi stared at the books he always did. The survey corps went on a large scale planned expedition and unfortunately, you became lucid the morning they left. 19 days they were gone. Apparently, you kept asking for Levi. You were a little moody sitting in the medical room not being allowed to do much. You asked to go outside, but once you were outside you just wanted to go back in. 

Levi was pissed when the survery corp returned and he received the message that you’ve been lucid since they left. He wasn’t there for the longest time you were lucid and he didn’t know how much time he had left. When he did return to you, you became happier and so you started becoming healthier. Dr. Yates let you stay with Levi for a couple nights. 

While staring at the books, his mind ended up thinking about one of the nights of you staying with him. You were on top of Levi practically begging to have sex. He thought about how you kissed his neck and palmed him teasing him with pleasure. You two haven’t had sex since before That Day. He rubbed your thigh gently, he tried to pretend he didn’t feel your pinstriped scars. You ran your hand through his hair, pleading with him to touch you. Levi felt like he was taking advantage of you and suggested going to bed. 

“I suggest we can add a couple tests when she’s lucid.” Hange’s bright tone pulled Levi away from the thought of you. 

“What are you thinking?” Commander Erwin asked. 

“Since Y/N could not recognize Mikasa Ackerman, even though she should have for knowing her for so long. They were roommates along with a few others including Sasha Braus since the Cadet Corp. We could have Mikasa walk by Y/N and see if she reacts, says hello or recognizes her slightly. If she doesn’t we could try having Mikasa approach her and have a light conversation to jog her memory. 

“Another thing I noticed was Y/N feels calm around Sasha Braus. Whether it's because they are long term friends or because of That Day. According to Sasha, she was the one that killed Hecate when she was torturing Y/N. We could conclude that subconsciously Y/N remembers Sasha saving her.

“One last hypothesis. I was thinking if Eren Jaeger was around Y/N. She would not think about where Eren could be as that was the information Hecate was trying to get from us.” Hange suggested. “I recognize these ‘tests’ do require the efforts of others, that are not mandatory. But I know they would want to help Y/N.” 

“How long do you think expect her friends to help her?” Commander Erwin asked. 

“With all due respect, I am not the doctor. I am just summarizing her social behavior. I can only help, but I can not solve anything.” Hange said and then there was silence in the room. A sense of apprehensiveness to speak. They were ignoring what needed to be said. 

“ . . . Levi, there’s a hospital in the capital that specializes—”

“Are you suggesting shipping off Y/N? She was lucid for almost a month. She’s improving.” Levi said sharply. Erwin let out a deep breath and decided to pin that suggestion for later. 

Your fourth lucid episode was two months after. Levi was worried that you were slowly dying and not going to have another lucid episode. When you did . . . it was the worst behavior to deal with. Hange and Levi had to restrain you while Moblit attempted to sedate you with a syringe. You scratched Hange’s face with your engagement ring.

As the day went on you felt tired. Though you did enjoy hanging and conversing with Mikasa, Eren and Armin. You were starting to feel out of it. Dinner was starting to be served and more of your friends came into the dining hall. 

“If I get you food will you eat it?” Levi asked.

“I’m just tired.” You said. It felt like a long day. Your social battery was starting to become drained. 

“You should eat, Y/N” Eren said. 

“Yeah we’re all going to get food. I think there’s soup.” Armin added. 

“I already had soup today.” You said, lethargically

“Are you saying F/N L/N has a limit on soup?!” A bright voice said behind you. You turned around and a jolt of energy burst from you as you sprung up to hug Sasha.

“SASHA!” Levi and Hange laughed. “I feel like I haven’t seen you in a while!”

“Is soup all you had today?” Sasha asked, but it seemed like she was more asking Hange. 

“I would like for her to eat more.” Hange said to Sasha. 

“Then let’s get in line I’m starving” Sasha grabbed your wrist and you guys went into the line. 

During dinner, Levi’s heart swelled watching you be with your friends. It was the first in a while where you were smiling and laughing with them. Jean told stupid jokes that made you laugh hard. You laughed so hard you cried. Sasha gave you some of her soup so you could eat more. Armin didn’t say much, but he enjoyed seeing you alive and healthy. Levi thought your smile was so warm and watching you from where he sat it was like he was seeing you for the first time again. 

Your laugh, your smile and you being with your friends. Levi remembers being so shy and nervous to talk to you. Your courage and initiation to talk to Levi is what started the relationship. He glanced at the ring on your finger. He just knew. Denied it to himself, Levi thought he was ridiculous for knowing he was going to marry you only after interacting with you a limited amount of times. But you were just so considerate of him and caring for him. He never had someone like him for him. He closed his eyes and tried not to cry. He was grateful you were in his life. Levi was going to be by yourside for the entire time you needed to heal. He will marry you. 

“Levi? Are you okay?” Hange asked. He opened his eyes and saw you intently listening to Eren’s story. 

“I just . . . want to marry her.” He said.

After you were done eating. You braided Sasha’s hair and then Mikasa stood behind you and braided yours. You french braided Sasha’s and Mikasa was also giving you a french braid. When you and Mikasa were done braiding. Mikasa sat down in front of you and you started braiding her hair. 

“Hange! I could braid your hair!” Sasha turned excitedly to Levi and Hange’s table. Hange raised her eyebrows.

“No! I want to braid her hair!” You said to Sasha.

“Oh come on please!” Sasha begged. 

“HANGE LET US BRAID YOUR HAIR! YOU WOULD LOOK SO CUTE WITH PIGTAILS. ” You demanded and Levi laughed. You dropped her hair and walked over to Hange, you started pulling her wrist but she was holding onto the table. “SASHA GRAB HER OTHER WRIST!” Sasha laughed and you both pulled Hange over to the other table. 

“Fine! Just normal, nothing fancy.” Hange appeased and sat down at your table. 

“You braid Mikasa’s hair. I want to do Hange’s.” You said. Then you started pulling out her ponytail and brushing it with your fingers. “Jeez, your hair is knotty.” Levi smiled. You braided her hair into pigtails and looked over at Sasha braiding Mikasa’s hair. “You look so cute, Mikasa!” Mikasa blushed. “Awe Hange you look so cute, too!” 

“We’ll all have braided hair, now!” Sasha said excitedly. 

“Jean needs to draw us!” You said. “Quick, we need to get a pencil and paper!” Jean froze with a spoon almost to his mouth. 

“When did I sign up for this?” He laughed. 

“Just do a quick one!” Mikasa said. Molblit handed Jean a blank sheet of paper and his pencil. He smiled. He did want to remember this moment. 

“Okay bunch up. Have Sasha and Hange stand behind you two.” You and Mikasa had an arm around each other and Hange and Sasha hugged you two from behind. It took a little, but you still chatted and talked with the rest of the table. Except for when Jean asked you all to smile. Then he let you get out of the pose. He continued drawing though and after a while he folded the paper twice. Then licked among the folds and split the paper into four. “Ladies of the braid. I have your drawing.” Jean handed Mikasa a fourth of a paper with a drawing of the four of you with your braids. Then handed you another fourth with the same drawing copied over. 

“Jean, you drew it four times?” You asked and Jean handed the last fourths of the paper to Hange and Sasha. The four of you lined up the drawings you received by the ripped folds. You all had the same drawing of the four of you smiling with your hair in braids. 

“You’re an amazing artist, thank you, Jean.” Hange said admiring the drawing. 

“Thanks, Jean!” Sasha brightly said. Mikasa picked up the pencil Jean was using from the table. 

“Y/N, hand me your drawing really quick.” She put your drawing on the table and wrote something on an open space of the drawing. Then she gave you the paper back. You looked at what Mikasa wrote. In elegant penmanship was written: Sasha, Hange, Mikasa and Y/N. 

“You have such nice handwriting, Mikasa.” You said and she smiled hopefully at you. Then you hugged Jean and thanked him for the drawing. You happily strolled to Levi and showed him the drawing. It was like the drawing Hange showed him a moment ago. Except yours had the names written. Levi recognized it was the same handwriting from the other drawing. 

5th Debriefing Session:

“We need to have a tough conversation,” Commander Erwin started. “When looking at the big picture of Y/N’s health. We are nearing the 6th month mark . . . Levi, the Survey Corps can only do so much . . . evaluating her when the one year mark—” Levi abruptly stood up with a loud screech from his chair. He began to walk toward the doors. “Hange wants to help Y/N! Her friends want to and are willing to help, but—” Levi ripped the door open.

“If you want to send her to a hospital in Mitras. Honorably discharge me. I’ll go with my wife.” Levi slammed the door. 

“Okay Hange. Yeah, okay.” Levi closed the door on Hange. He just wanted to spend some alone time with you. You carefully walked to the table while holding two cups of tea and gently on the table. For a moment you reminded him of his mother. You were so elegant and when you smiled at Levi his felt happy that you were his. He had love in his life and he was going to take care of you just like you have always taken care of him. He fondly looked at you and then he approached you and hugged you. You were his just like he knew he was yours. No matter what. “Sit, I want to get something.” He said and went off to the corner where he had a small bookshelf. He grabbed a leatherbound journal and a pencil. He put it in front of you. “Here.” You stared at it.

“What—”

“Remember it’s your journal. You haven’t written in it in a long time though. I want you to write an entry.” Levi gently said then he grabbed the drawing Jean gave you and he leaned it against some books on the bookshelf. 

“Oh yeah . . . I forgot . . . I used to write everyday. I had like 8 journals . . .” You trailed off.

“Yea, you wanted to keep a record of your life. Maybe write how you feel or just what went on today. I think the last entry you wrote was near when we got engaged.” Levi said. 

“ . . .we’re engaged?” You asked confused. Levi closed his eyes and breathed deeply. He tried to keep the mood light.

“Just a little entry.” He sat down next to you and sipped on his tea carefully. You smiled and started writing about your day. “Then we could go to sleep early.” Levi enjoyed sleeping with you because he had poor sleeping habits. But when you slept next to him he got a few more hours. He gave you a kiss on the cheek and you turned to kiss him again on the lips. His admiration for you only grew watching you write in your journal. These little moments are everything he has to accept for now.

“I don’t know what else to write . . .” You said lightly. Thoughts came into your mind and then disappeared. “I’m sorry.” Levi offered you his hand and when you took he gently helped you stand up and walked towards the bed. He then held your hand to his heart.

“Let’s lay down.” Levi said.

“Can I have a back massage?” You ask. Levi does his best to give you a shoulder massage, he carefully does his best to not hurt you, but he wants to relieve you of all pain. Levi tried to be as careful because to him you were so delicate and fragile looking. He wanted you to relax and be with him.  

“Is this okay . . .?” He asked.

“Keep going.” You ordered and he obeyed then smiled. He moved down your back, pressing little circles into your back and along your spine. 

“Let’s go brush our teeth and go—” Levi said, pulling away. 

“No more.” You put his hand back on your shoulders. He gave you a couple more seconds of massaging.

“Okay no more, your majesty.” He said. You jumped on him which took him by surprise. You attempt to pin him down on the bed and Levi let you. You kissed his forehead and he looked up at you fondly. Youre eyes looked so pretty. You trailed your hands slowly on Levi’s chest, feeling his carved muscles. You placed one of his hands on your thighs and you ran your fingers in his hair. To Levi you are everything. He reached towards your face and then touched your braid. “Let’s go to sleep.” You kissed him and fisted his shirt. Levi pulled away, “Y/N . . .”

“Please . . .” you mewled into his ear softly, knowing this is what gets to him. You put more pressure on him, feeling him getting harder. You tucked some of his fringe behind his ears. You looked into his steel grey eyes and the eye contact was making you feel heat in yourself, you haven’t felt in a while. You grinded your hips and Levi was starting to breathe heavily. “ . . . Levi,” you moaned, you knew it drove him crazy. “I love you so much.”

“I’m in love with you.” Levi said to you. You looked so pretty.  

“We haven’t . . . made love in a while.” You said and continued to grind on him and Levi was thinking of the pleasure’s he could have with you. He hasn't felt your body in a long time and Levi wanted to feel you wrapped around him. He wanted to hear you whimper in his ear. But clarity came to the forefront. 

“I can’t take advantage of you . . .” He said quietly.

“You’re not, I want you.” You started taking off your shirt. Levi stopped you. Pulling your shirt down. He sat up and hugged you, smelling you. 

“Y/N I can’t . . . please let’s go to sleep.” You pulled away and gave him another kiss.

“Ok.” 

When you slept next to Levi, he felt it easier to relax. His muscles untensed and he found it easier to fall asleep. Levi had terrible sleeping habits before you and when you slept next to him for the first time he realized you helped him. He slept a good six hours with you next to him. Levi realized you brought him a sense of peace and you always were positive and good natured. 

You always had taken good care of him, sometimes he saw his mom in you. You reminded him that he was worthy of love and he saw you as someone who wanted to give love to your friends. He admired that you made friends wherever you went. He knew how much your friends love you and you saw them as your family. Your kind heart is what drew people in. Levi was glad you had a large support system, something he didn’t have in life. He recognized that he wanted to marry you when he realized that you made up an entire family for him. He trusted that you would always be there for him and you were so supportive and loving. You made him laugh so much, feeling joy in life. 

Levi half asleep rolled over, he felt the bed empty. He sat up and he was alone. He heard you in the dark room whimpering quietly. He saw your dark silhouette on the floor against the wall. His heart dropped, more time he begged.

“Please,” you begged quietly. Levi cautiously approached you. “No, please don’t” You said as he got closer. He grabbed a syringe off of the table. 

“Y/N. It’s Levi.” He said almost pleading.

“NO!” You pleaded. Holding your hand out to him as if that was going to stop him. He started to feel tears in his eyes, this was the first time he had to do this alone. There was a hope that you just had a bad nightmare and you needed comfort.

“Come back to me . . .” He said. You screamed loudly and it pierced his ears. He had to jump on you. You thrashed and one of his tears landed on you. You slapped him and pushed Levi. He grunted. 

“Y/N!” He said, pining one of your arms against the wall. 

“NO! PLEASE DONT!” You cried out and screamed again. Levi used his weight to hold down your legs. He set the syringe down and did his best to pull your pants down. You panicked and fought him. “STOP! I DON’T KNOW ANYTHING!” You pulled up your knee and tried to hit Levi in the croch. Levi cried. You were weak and Levi was much stronger than you. He managed to get a good surface of your thigh showing. You managed to get another slap on his face and he grunted. You screamed loudly, a cry in desperation. You whailed hoping someone would hear you and help you. 

“Please—”

“PLEASE STOP!” You screamed, he winced at the volume going into his ear. He picked up the syringed and shot it into your leg. You screamed and Levi looked at you in the eyes hoping to find you somewhere. You looked at him in desperation, pleading to spare you. Levi had to hold you down until you got physically worn out, he cried waiting for you to go unconscious. When you were weak. He hugged you, he knew you needed help. This was the life he was dealt with. 

Before he left his room, he laid you on his bed and pretended you were only sleeping. This time was so short again. What else could Levi do to help you? He knocked on the door and waited for a while. His eyes were puffy and his face was stained with tears. He knocked again and the door finally opened. Hange still had her pigtail braids in. Levi held up his empty syringe.

“Levi . . .” Hange said tiredly then she saw the syringe. 

“Y/N’s in my room.” Levi said dismaly. Hange leaned her head against the doorframe and sighed. 

“I’ll get Dr. Yates.” She said.

That Day:

They were in a large room of a house. The windows were large and revealed that there were no other buildings nearby. They were almost in the middle of nowhere. Somewhere northwest Wall Rose. One of Hecate’s men was holding a knife to Hange’s throat. Another was holding you by your waist and had a knife to your back. Levi and Erwin were on their knees and tied up. With another guy standing behind them. Hecate walked back and forth between the four of you. Her heels being the prominent sound on the hardwood floor. 

“I recognize you, scout regiment. You know where Eren Jaeger is. So which one of you is going to tell me where he is?” She said toyingly. She has been wanting to kill Eren for years. She came close to killing him twice. She played with the knife in her hand. “Commander Erwin . . . top dog. Leader of the scout regiment. Tell me.” She bent down to level with him. He stayed silent. Hecate grabbed his hair and yanked his head back then sliced into his collarbone. Erwin groaned, gritting his teeth. You grimacing looked away. 

“We don’t know where Eren is.” Erwin said lowly.

“Liar. Tell me where he is.” She said and Erwin didn’t respond. She kicked him in the balls and he let out a gutteral groan and fell on his side. The scouts were on their way, though there was no hope of getting out of the situation. They needed to get here before everyone was dead. Erwin painfully coughed. Then she walked over his body. 

“What about you?” She stood over Levi. He said nothing. You couldn’t help but watch what she was going to do to Levi. She grabbed his shirt and yanked him up. “Are you going to tell me, handsome?” You felt a rage, but your fear was more developed. You knew Levi wasn’t going to spill even if he was beaten to death. The four of you wouldn’t. She slapped Levi and you closed your eyes.

“That’s Captain Levi born from the underground. He’s not going to talk.” The guy behind Erwin and Levi gruffly said.

“Huh, that's so?” She looked at Levi and pushed him face forward to the ground. She lifted up his shirt revealing his back and dug the knife into him. “I’ll ask you one more time. Where is Eren?” You heard Levi muffly groan as Hecate dug the knife across his back. Beads of blood bursing from the cut. “Come on, Captain, I want answers.”

“I’m not answering you, bitch.” Levi spat at her. You raised your eyebows when you saw some of his blood. You wanted to tell Levi to not make her angry, but you stayed silent. She stood up from him and looked at him. 

“Huh, of course, Captain.” She kicked his face. You jerked, “I believe you.” She laughed. She glanced over at you and Hange. Your heart pulsed. She strolled over to you two while wiping her knife. “I know how the dynamics work, captain . . . your attempt to provoke me? I’ve seen it a thousand times. You’re not gonna talk.” You felt your heart in your throat when she eyes you and Hange. “But one of you will.” You kept your eyes down. She stood in front of Hange. “No need for that . . .” She said to the man holding Hange. He took the knife from her throat and put it in her back. “You’re quite pretty.” Hange scowled at her. Hecate took Hange’s glasses off then threw them on the ground then crushed her glasses with her boot. She kicked her in the stomach. She recoiled, the wind being knocked out of her and the man holding Hange caused her to not fall over. Tears started building in your eyes. “Tell me where Eren is and you and your friends will be left alone.” Hange said nothing. Hecate slapped Hange. She whimpered. “Tell me what I want to know. Where is Eren Jaeger?” Hange sniffled. Hecate breathed impatiently then looked at the ground she picked up a sharp glass edge from Hange’s glasses. Then lifted a part of her shirt and jabbed the glass into Hange’s abdomen. She cried out loudly and whimpered. Choking for air trying to regulate her breathing. Hecate walked over to you. You continued looking at the ground, noticing some blood was on her shoe. “Why are you crying? Do you not like seeing your friends get hurt?” She taunted. She slapped you. You yelped and some of your hair got in your face. “We don’t have to do this, you know. Let me know darling, where is Eren Jaeger?” You stayed silent. A tear rolled down your cheek begging that the scouts would save you four. She swiped the blade onto your collarbone. Blood drew from your cut. You moaned and whimpered. “Answer me. Or you’ll get another cut.” She grabbed you by your shirt and pointed the knife to your abdomen.

“Stop, she doesn’t know.” Hange huffed out. Hecate turned her attention on Hange. Then glanced at you.

“Bring Commander Erwin Smith over here, would you?” Hecate asked and the man brought a stumbling Erwin over in front of Hange. He made Erwin kneel. “Commander these pretty girls are your subordinates?” Erwin stayed silent looking at the ground. Hecate slapped him. “So fucking rude not to answer my question.” She went toward you and kicked you, knocking the wind out of you, making you fall to the ground. The man who was holding you put his foot on your side. You felt paralyzed and then the pain set in. “Where is Eren Jaeger? or these girls will get it.”

“I don’t know.” Erwin said.

“You do know.” Hecate said and then sliced a cut into Hange’s collar bones. She whimpered. “Tell me what I want.” She was starting to lose her patience. 

“Leave them alone, bitch,” Levi with a strained voice said. Hecate kicked you in the chest and forced you to let out a cry. 

“Say that again, Captain? I didn’t hear you. Get her up.” The man forced you to sit up. She knelt in front of you and Hange eyed both of you. You couldn’t hide your tears. “This time it’s your choice . . . which one will get my knife?” A tear dripped onto the floor in front of you. “Hmm?”  Hange swallowed and wheezed.

“Me. Just give—” Hecate cut your arm instead of Hange’s, making you shriek. You cried out, not being able to hold it in. You breathed hard. Erwin winced at the sight of you two. 

“Once again, you or you?” Hange and you stayed silent. She sighed and kicked you to the floor again. 

“She doesn’t know anything! Stop it!” Hanged yelled. Hecate grabbed Hange’s hair, forcing her head back. 

“I see . . . you care for her . . . ” She let go of Hange’s head. Then she stood in front of you. “Where’s Eren Jaeger?” She asked Hange. She then held down the same arm she cut into earlier. Hecate started cutting into your arm next to the other one. You screamed trying to thrash your legs, but the man was holding you down. When she was done slicing you, you sobbed into the floor. Hecate sighed. “Take them downstairs.” One of the man jerked you and Hange up. You couldn’t look at anyone. The one man forced Levi up and his nose was bloody. The last man got Erwin up and he was stumbling and wincing trying to keep up with the man. Hange coughed and her vision was blurry. They pulled you toward an area where the stairs went down. Levi was the first forced down the steps. “Hold on.” Everyone froze anticipating what Hecate was going to say. “I want to ask her some questions,” she pointed at you. Hange’s eyes went wide as she felt another man grabbing her. She watched as the man who was holding both of you, pushed you back towards Hecate.

“NO! WAIT! TAKE ME INSTEAD! LEAVE HER ALONE!” Hange, Erwin and Levi were pushed down the stairs by the other man. You went out of sight and Hange noticed Levi glaring at her. The men threw them in a cell, locking it and walking back upstairs. 

“Levi, untie my restraints,” Commander Erwin whispered. Levi turned around and tried his best to untie the knot while not being able to see it. Hange started crying again sitting down. Then Commander Erwin untied Levi who was pissed. He walked over to Hange and grabbed her shirt. 

“YOU IDIOT!” Levi couldn’t care about his volume. “HOW STUPID COULD YOU BE?! YOU NEVER SHOW—” Hange jerked away from his grasp.

“I WAS TRYING TO PROTECT Y/N!” Hange said harshly 

“DIDN’T WORK—”

“—I WOULD RATHER IT BE ME THAN HER!” Hange said. As Levi was about to retort back, the three of them heard you scream above them. Hange’s heart pounded and she started crying. Levi took off one of his shoes and threw it against the wall angrily. Erwin started untying Hange. She slid down the wall crouching into a ball. They could hear you begging.

“NO! NO, PLEASE!” Then they heard you scream louder. Hange put her fingers in her ears, she closed her eyes. The special operations squad should come any moment. Hange then felt a pull on her shirt, again. Levi with a bloody face and a fire in his eyes was holding her. 

“YOU FUCKING IDIOT. THE MOMENT YOU OPENED YOUR MOUTH. I KNEW THEY WOULD PICK HER!” Levi sneered.

“LEVI!” Erwin pulled Levi off Hange. Another scream was heard above.

“I was trying to get her to hurt me instead of Y/N!” Hange sobbed. 

“Because you opened your mouth she knew you cared about her! The moment you do that they’ll torture her to get you to fucking talk!” Levi said. “My fiance is going to die BECAUSE OF YOU!” He pushed Hange into the wall. 

“GET AWAY FROM HER!” Erwin asserted himself in front of Levi. “ENOUGH PULL IT TOGETHER! WE NEED TO THINK . . . let's look around and try to get out.” Levi put on his shoe and Hange covered her face, sobbing. 

“STOP! PLEASE! NO!” They heard you above them. Hange got up and started coughing. She went into the corner gagging. Hange threw up in the corner. Levi kicked the cell door, it clanked and didn’t budge. About ten minutes later. It was quiet. They didn’t hear you screaming and they didn’t hear yelling from Hecate. Suddenly they heard soft footsteps descending from the stairs. Hange’s hope rose only for it to deplete when Hecate walked up to them. The knife she was holding was covered in blood

“Comfy?” Hecate taunted. They couldn’t look at her. “Terrible of you to not do anything about your friend . . . hey gorgeous!” Hange ignored her. “Fine . . . Anyone want to tell me where Eren is?” She started backing away, smirking. “I’ll just ask your friend.” She walked back up the stairs.

“Where are they?” Hange whispered frustratedly. Levi leaned with his arm against the wall. He was facing the wall, the pressure was building in his nose and he was blinking away any tears forming in his eyes. They heard a thud and they heard you screaming above them, Hange plugged her ears. She continued crying. The three had dried blood on them and they stayed helpless in the cell. They heard you scream, beg and cry for a while longer. Hange felt paralyzed listening to you scream. She couldn’t think of a way to save you or them. To her it was her fault, she shouldve kept her mouth shut. Maybe this wouldn’t have happened if she kept her mouth shut. She hugged her knees. “I’m sorry.” She whispered. She glanced at Levi who had his forehead against his arm. In the distance they heard shattering, then some yelling. “Commander Erwin, THEY’RE HERE!” Levi turned around. There was a large boom above them and more screams and yells. Then suddenly rapid footsteps were descending the stairs. Moblit and Jean appeared. 

“Section Commander!” Moblit exclaimed then he noticed the blood on Levi’s face and Erwin’s cuts. 

“How’s Y/N?” Erwin demanded. 

“Let us out!” Hange screamed. 

“HOWS Y/N!?” Levi yelled. Jean unlocked the door with the key from one of Hecate’s men. Levi ran out of the cell and dashed up the stairs, Hange followed after him. Hecate was dead on the ground and scattered on the floor were her men. Levi saw you slumped against the wall, Sasha was holding you. You had no pants on and instead there was blood dripping on your legs. Multiple long cuts down the length of your legs. 

“Captain!” Sasha exclaimed. “Captain, her pulse is faint.” Levi caressed you. Your eyes were closed and your head was nodded out. “I think she’ll need stitches.” He shook you a little waiting for a response. He was revolted at what Hecate did to you. He let anger get to him, gritted his teeth then went over to Hecate’s dead body and kicked her four times, grunting. 

“Levi!” Hange pulled him away and Levi pushed her off of him. Hange saw Mikasa crying at the sight of you with Armin comforting you. Levi went over you and Sasha. 

“She’ll need stitches, she lost a lot of blood. We need to get her to a hospital somewhere.”

“Sasha knows how stitch wounds.” Levi said.

“I don’t have any supplies.” Sasha said defeatedly. Connie ran into the room.

“I found a small first aid kit.” Connie said, panting. “We can clean her up and use whatever we can for now.” Sasha dashed over to Connie grabbing the first aid kit. 

“Captain Levi, are you wounded? There’s a bunch of blood on your back.” Moblit asked. 

“And on my face. Y/N is more important right now.” Levi said, his voice breaking. He could not lose another person he loves. 

6th Debriefing Session:

Levi didn’t want to sit. He listened to Hange and Dr. Yates relayed the details to Commander Erwin. His time with you this time felt so short. This time was the most you, you have been since That Day. He stared at the window. Having the trees fill his vision. Watching some scouts walk by or sit on the grass. The sunset was emitting an orange sky. Your favorite. Erwin was right. 

Levi leaned his forehead against the glass and closed his eyes. There was nothing left, but to wait for the next episode. Levi didn’t mean to zone out. His frustrated thoughts were consuming him and he was with you the whole time. He was defeated and didn’t know how to take the next steps. 

It felt like there was no improvement. As he gazed out the window, there were no positive thoughts. This was the life he was dealt. He abruptly turned around making Hange pause. 

“What is it, Levi?” She asked softly. He looked at the ground while walking past the table. Pressure building in his nose, his eyes starting to gloss over. He looked over his shoulder locking eyes with Erwin who had a sympathetic expression. With everything he had in him, he tried not to break.

“Start t-the paperwork, commander,” Levi did not win. 

Three weeks later:

Hange cautiously walked into your medical room. She held the door until it closed with a quiet click. She heard faint beeping and it was quiet. She knew Levi was behind the curtain sitting with you.

“I know it’s you, four-eyes.” Levi said shakenly. Hange walked around the curtain. Levi sat in a chair next to your bed. His arms were crossed and he was leaning back into the chair comfortably. Levi’s eyes were red and puffy. He looked at Hange and she saw the desperation in his eyes. Though he was sitting, there was no one around and so she stepped forward and hugged him. Levi nuzzled his face into her shoulder. Hidden, even though there was no one to hide from. Hange softly rubbed Levi’s back. 

“In the morning, right?” She asked.

“Yes . . .'' Levi pulled away from Hange and he stared at you. You looked like you were sleeping. He stood up from his chair and offered Hange his seat. They looked at you for a while. Both filled with thoughts. One thought after another. Begged for a change of fate. “Do me a favor . . .” Levi said and Hange didn’t look at him. “Stop blaming yourself . . .'' Hange put her face into her hands. “ . . . I was an asshole that day. I was wrong for calling you an idiot. Nothing was ever your fault”

“Levi . . .” she did her best to muffle her crying. “I thought if I could make it seem like I knew where Eren was . . . they would leave her alone . . . If only they questioned me instead . . .”

“Stop talking like that.” Levi said defeatedly. “I’ve forgiven you and you need to start forgiving yourself.” She sniffled.

“I wish I wasn’t losing my best friend . . .” Hange said and they looked at each other, knowingly. Years they have relied on each other and built years of trust. “And you.” They laughed. Hange wiped a tear from her eye.  

“Y/N would want you to visit.” Hange smiled.

“She would want all her friends to visit.” Hange said thinking of Sasha, Mikasa, Armin, Eren, Jean, Connie, Christa, and anyone she saw Y/N sharing joyful moments with. Everyone liked her, even Annie. 

“You don’t need to ask, drop by when you’re available. You could stay with us.” Levi said. 

“I will . . . I want to be there with her.” Hange whispered. She gasped because she saw your hand jolt. It was more than a twitch, Hange stood up anticipating for any more movement. “Her hand moved! She can hear us.” Levi grabbed your hand and they both hovered over you. Waiting for any other sign of consciousness. You did not move. Hange brushed your hair with her fingers. “ . . . Y/N, It’s Hange . . . If you can hear me, I love you so much . . .” No movement. No twitching or any indication of consciousness. “I’ll visit you when I can . . .” 

In the morning, Levi and you started traveling to Mitras. Erwin and Darius Zackly ensured to put you in one of the top hospitals in Mitras. Fortunatly you did improve. Your lucid episodes started becoming longer and the periods inbetween shortened. You were not triggered as much. Levi was by your side most of the time.

 Two and a half years later after That Day you, Levi, and the psychologists hit a huge milestone. For six months you were lucid, your triggers no longer  made you panic, scream and kick. You didn’t need to be sedated. You were able to relay the details of That Day without being triggered. Levi was allowed to take you out of the hospital and live togehter in the city. That day was now a painful memory. You didn’t cry when remembering it. Every now and then you would have nightmares about That Day, but when Levi woke you up you knew you were safe. You would calm down and then go back to sleep. 

Two years and nine months after that day, Levi and you officially were married. Though he already considered you his wife, he was elated that it was official. Friends who visited you in the hospital were there. Most of the scouts who you knew attended. Commander Erwin was happy to see you healthy and happy to see Levi happier. Everyone mentioned how happy they were to see you healthy and like your old self. You met Sasha’s boyfriend, Niccolo at the wedding. But when she showed you a ring on her finger you met her fiance. You cheered and jumped up and down excitedly. You planned to hang out for a day with Mikasa and Sasha. Eren wanted to come, but Mikasa told him no. 

Three years after that day, you barely thought of that day. You were free spirited and started to enjoy reading again. You mostly stayed home, cleaning, cooking and doing hobbies. Sometimes when the scouts were in town you’d invite your friends over for dinner. Most of the time you had a quiet and peaceful life. 

Three years and two months later, Levi brought up the idea that he would return to the Survey Corps. You were confused and almost begging him to not return. You didn’t want something to happen to him while he was away with the scouts. You absolutely did not want to go back. You wanted Levi to stay with you and continue the peaceful life you had with him. He agreed that he had everything he wanted. A home, a beautiful wife, a peaceful life on the surface, but he felt like he had a duty to fulfill. That he needed to payback Commander Erwin for helping him with everything he’s done. 

It took a while for you to come around, but you wanted Levi to feel fulfilled. You knew he was capable of doing everything he could to survive. You knew he would come back to you. 

Three and a half years after that day, Levi returned to being Captain of the special operations squad. You would visit each other in your free time. Sometimes you felt lonely, but you lived a peaceful and safe life which is what Levi wanted for you. 

Thank you for reading through the editing mistakes. It takes a good 50 mins to read through this whole story and I just need to study for finals rn LOL

Also i know the villians are random. Lol originally they were going to be Zeke Peick and Galliard but i couldnt imagine them doing shit that dark LMAO

masterlist

[miumura]

TO THE BOY NEXT DOOR — JW ONESHOT.

“i don’t know if this is weird to say but, you’re truly someone special to me.”

synopsis : Does love at first sight exist? Apparently. You noticed a boy your age while helping a family move in. Your family made you hang out with him more. In result, you fell in love with your new neighbor, the boy next door. Who wouldn’t? Now, what if he feels the same way?

pairing — neighbor!jungwon x neighbor!fem!reader

genre — fluff, neighbors to lovers, strangers to lovers

featuring — leeseo, liz - ive; sunoo, niki - enhypen

warnings — kissing, lmk if i should add more

word count — 8.5K+

author’s note — now if you think the heeseung wc was a lot…you’re wrong 🤕 this def took longer then expected..so sorry abt that 😭 i’ll try to get the rest out asap, can’t guarantee it though!

001 — THE MOVE IN

You're in your room, sorting through some random items. Scraps of paper, stickers, letter paper—you name it. You raise the volume of your speaker once more, only to lower it again when your mother calls your name. You walked out to greet her, turning off the music. Your mom smiles at you, pleased that you came out so quickly.

You noticed her optimistic demeanor; perhaps she received a raise. You grab a glass of water while you wait for her to say something. "Dear, have you heard about the new people moving in next door?" You pause to think about it. There’s a new family? You exclaim and nod in response. "Oh, yeah, I saw those moving trucks when I was walking to school two days ago. Why?”

"Are you free right now?" You nod hesitantly, unsure what she expects from you. "Let's help them move!" You stopped getting ice from your refrigerator. You quickly turned to face her, a shocked expression on your face. "Mom, do you know who these people are? They've only recently moved in!"

“Of course I do, silly. Also, put that cup down before you drop it.” You slowly place the cup on the counter, following your mom to convince her.

“Okay..maybe I am busy.”

“Busy doing what? Being locked up in your room? Well sorry, that excuse isn’t going to work right now.”

“But I’m cleaning my stuff!”

“Why do that now? You never do it. Plus, you can do it another time.”

“Come on, you know I can’t get along well with new people.” Your mom ignores your excuses, quickly putting on her shoes. “And I’m here to fix that.” You groan as her response, knowing you have to come along anyways. “Hurry up! I can see them moving in boxes already!” You ran upstairs, grabbing the nearest hoodie you could get. “Okay, okay I get it!”

Here you are, dragging your feet along the sidewalk, wishing the time would fly by so you wouldn't have to help the new family. There was no personal grudge; you simply dislike interacting with new people. Your mother quickens her walking pace, forcing you to sprint to catch up. She cheerfully greets the family's mother, or so you assume. The lady greets you while holding two large bags.

"We're delighted to help out!" You stood behind your mother, giving her a small wave and an awkward smile. "This is my child. Say hello, there's no need to be shy." You shot your mother a quick glare while she smiled back. “Nice to meet you yn!” “Hello, Miss.” “Oh, call me Mrs. Yang.” “Oh, sure. Thank you Mrs. Yang.” You flashed an awkward smile to lighten up the air.

You stand there awkwardly listening in on your mother's conversation with Mrs. Yang. Your mother exclaims, catching your attention as you pick at your nails. "You should meet Jungwon, YN. He and you are the same age!" She gestures to the boy in the distance who is carrying a box into the house. You squint your eyes, unable to make out his facial features. "Why don't you introduce yourself?" Mrs. Yang follows you two from behind as she brings you to the boy before you can say no. Great, you are now about to embarrass yourself.

“Hi Jungwon!” your mother says cheerfully. The boy sees her, gives a small smile and says hello back. He spots you next to her, making him nervous all of a sudden. He broke off eye contact with you, looking around the truck cluelessly. Did he find you a bother? Well, you didn’t care—it was just gonna be a one time thing. “YN, go help Jungwon bring the boxes in!” She leaves you standing with Jungwon, you awkwardly make eye contact with him.

"Let's just get this out of the way." You sighed as the boy nodded and followed you behind. You noticed a box with Jungwon's name written on it. You reach for it, but he also tries to grab the same one. He pauses, drawing your attention to him. He pulls away shyly, grabbing the next box and walking away. He's definitely out of the ordinary. Despite the fact that you didn't know him, he exudes a comforting aura.

You notice Jungwon walking up the stairs to his room and decide to follow him. His room appeared to be quite simple once you entered. There were white walls, white bookshelves, and a mattress with a black cat plushie on top. He quickly hid it under his blanket because you suddenly stared at the plush. "Why hide it? It's cute," you said as you set the box of his things down. "Do you like cats?"

"Yeah," he says, the word barely escaping his mouth. You had no idea why he was nervous—you guessed it was because a random stranger was trying to talk to him and was in his room.

“What do you like, then?” In an effort to continue the conversation, he questioned.

"I really love stars. I enjoy the way they sparkle in the night sky when I see them in videos, of course. I never spent any time stargazing or staying up late to do so. I don’t think I’ll ever have the time or patience to do all of that. But, they seem really pretty.” As you took a seat on his floor, you said. He nods in silence, perhaps noting your preferences for the next time.

"I met your mom when she came to visit my family. She's nice," he says while you nodded as he begins to take items from the box. He took out posters and even small figurines. You went to take a closer look. You're right behind him, and he stiffens up. You give him an odd look that causes him to clear his throat. He walks away, his cheeks flushed. "What's the deal with him?" You thought to yourself.

You've noticed that he enjoys being well-organized. He gets irritated if his posters aren't straight and has the perfect number of books on his shelf. He's definitely not like the other guys you'd meet. You tried having small conversations with him here and there, but he only responds briefly. You kept going because you found him interesting. Something about him pushed you to speak with him even more.

The minutes flew by. You and Jungwon were still in his room, which was awkward. But you and him continued to talk until it was time for you to leave. You looked at your phone screen when you heard your mother call your name. It lights up, revealing 4:30 p.m. "Oh, it's kinda late," you say, making eye contact with him and letting him know you have to leave.

“I’ll see you later?” As you stood up, you said. He nods, a solemn expression on his face. Didn't you just meet today? Why is he so upset about you leaving? And why was your heart beating faster than usual? No, you had to gather yourself together. You walked out of his room, ignoring your original thoughts, not noticing him following you.

“Wait-“ You heard him call out. You turn around, seeing the sight of the nervous boy. "Thank you for hanging out with me even though I was awkward. And you know, you kept the conversation going with your questions, so really I’m grateful for that. I thoroughly enjoyed all of our conversations! Thank you...?"

“Oh yeah. YN. call me YN.”

“Thank you YN. See you tomorrow?” His face turns bright red, with a hopeful expression. He really wanted to see you again.

“See you tomorrow.” You smiled and waved him goodbye. When he returned your smile, the first thing you noticed were his dimples. Your stomach flipped. Is that normal? You walked back home with your mother, smiling at your short interaction earlier.

Your mother notices your cheerful mood and immediately suspects you. "You must like the family I see," she says in her sentence. You lift your eyebrows slightly, waiting for her to finish her sentence. "Especially Jungwon." You hurried to deny her claims, saying, "What—just he's cool, I think."

“That’s what they all say! Kids these days..” As she passes by your room, you hear your mother's voice fading away. You forced yourself not to consider what she said. You didn't care about him. There is no way that after only meeting today, you have already begun to feel something like this.

Your mind said otherwise. All night, you couldn't stop thinking about his smile. As soon as you got into bed, you hoped that these thoughts would fade. As you were about to close your eyes, Jungwon's presence forced you to open them right away. The image of him being stuck in your head wasn’t helping. At this rate, your eye bags will show up tomorrow. Did you really like him? Even if you did, you believed that these emotions would go away. Not wanting to think about your feelings, you relaxed into sleep, turning off the light on your nightstand.

And you weren't the only one who was thinking about the incident earlier.

So was Jungwon.

002 — SECOND MEETING

When your alarm went off, you sluggishly hit the snooze button. You sat up, one hand rubbing your eyes. You only got 4 hours of sleep and had school today—wonderful. You went to the restroom to conceal your visible eye bags. You didn't want anyone to make a comment about them, especially on a Monday morning. The aroma of coffee permeates your room as you get ready.

You dashed downstairs when you noticed a cup of iced coffee and a bagel with cream cheese. "Thank you for the coffee, mom," you sighed, relieved. "You've saved my life." As you take a quick sip, she smiles. "I know your sleep schedule is messed up—really it's the least I could do."

"See you later, Mom!" You said this with your mouth full of food. "Be careful, dear!" Before you walked out the door, you heard her say. You checked your watch: 6:55 a.m. Okay, you might be able to catch the bus on time. In fact, you were extremely early.

You liked going to school early and killing time by going to the shops nearby for some reason. You're not sure why you do it, but it's enjoyable for you. You walk to the bus stop with your hands in your pockets. As you approached your neighbor's house, you noticed the brown-haired boy hurrying out the door.

His clothes were a little sloppy, and his hair was a mess. Someone appears to have just awoken. You noticed he was dressed in the same color uniform as you. Did he go to the same school as you? You saw the yellow pin with the school's logo, confirming your predictions. You kept looking at him, getting closer to him.

You laughed as you watched him almost trip over his shoelaces. Jungwon turns to investigate the source of sound. He makes eye contact with you and panics. He straightens his clothes and hair before bending down to tie his shoe. Oh, how he wished you'd leave. It’s embarrassing for you to see him like this.

You, however, did not. You simply moved closer to him, waiting beside him. He looks at you, puzzled. You gave him a look, breaking the strange silence. “Um?”

“What? I don't mind waiting for you."

“Why…?”

"We attend the same school. We should walk together. "Please hurry up." He quickly ties his shoes and dusts his pants from kneeling. You walk ahead of him, causing him to trail behind you. He's wary, but he really wants to speak with you. He's been looking for a way to talk to you comfortably since last night. Something about you makes him want to be your friend.

You two have already arrived at the bus stop, where you are waiting together. The only sounds were the wind and the vehicles passing by; nobody cared to speak. Your face went red from the cold, and you weren't even wearing a hooded jacket.

Jungwon notices; he has a keen eye for details. He was brave enough to give you your scarf when he saw that you were shivering from the cold. He timidly moves closer to you while removing the gray scarf. It's the first time he's given someone permission to borrow something of his personal belongings, especially to someone he only met yesterday.

You give me an odd look after seeing Jungwon offer you the scarf.

“Huh?”

“What? Are you not cold?”

“Oh, hold on, don't give me the scarf; it is yours. Is it strange that you’re—" Sighing, he moves closer to your side. He makes you face him, wrapping the scarf around your neck. Even more redness appears on your face, but Jungwon doesn’t appear to notice it. He finishes covering you with the scarf and smiles, revealing the dimples once more.

"It's fine; I believe we are getting quite close actually. Even if we just met.” He glances at you while putting on his hood. “Plus, I have this whereas you do not.” You grinned, flushing, while he kept his triumphant grin.

Finally, the bus arrived at the bus stop. He let you board the bus before him and followed closely in your steps. Fortunately, there are enough open seats for just two people. As you motioned for him to join you in sitting, you turned to face him. He nods, his face showing just a hint of blush.

You choose to take a seat beside the window. There wasn't much room between you and him at this point; your legs were practically touching. You glanced quickly to check what Jungwon was doing as you heard a zipper pop open. He pulled out his wired headphones and phone.

You fixed your gaze on him as you saw him with one of the earbuds in his ear. He motions for you to join him in listening while holding out his earphone. You take the earbud after agreeing. The warmth in your stomach returns as he moves further closer to you.

He presses play, staring at you to see whether you like the song. He exhales with relief once he notices that you're humming along. You let out a small chuckle, gaining the boy’s attention. “You listen to songs like this?” He asks with a quick nod, “Who doesn’t love Twice?” “That’s true.”

Along with the music, you guys bop your heads while laughing heartily with one another. He looks at you lovingly and longs to hear your endearing laughter repeatedly. He has already fallen head over heels for you on day two. You looked adorable wearing his scarf, and he wanted to see you wearing it every day.

You are forced to return the earbud back when the bus arrives at your school. You couldn't get out first because there wasn't enough space between your seat and the one in front of you. He stands up after noticing your glance. You noticed he quickened up his speed, leaving you behind in the bus seat. Isn’t this his first day of school? What if he has no friends? You followed him so that you wouldn't make him feel the same way you did on your first day.

As you ran from a bus stop to the campus, you quickly caught up with him, breathing a little harder than usual. He sure was fast. When he sees you rushing over for him, he starts grinning. You asked out of breath, "What are you smiling for?" “Nothing. I just noticed how far you sprinted to catch up with me from there.”

“Whatever!” You puffed, trying to get rid of the tightening pressure in your chest. When you noticed him taking his schedule out of his folder, you asked, "What's your first period?" His schedule was well-organized, with the classes being emphasized in every color imaginable, including red to purple. The words "chemistry" and "first period" were underlined in this bright green, making it simple to see what he had.

He sighed, "Chem," as if he hadn't noticed you looking at his schedule. “Oh, our classes are the same.” His attention was drawn to your terribly disorganized schedule. The paper had folded corners and appeared to be crumbled. It looked like you pulled it out of the bottom of your bag (which you did). He saw that you seemed unbothered, though. You kept double checking your paper and his. Lucky you—the same classes both showed up on his and yours.

You made him forget about your crumpled paper by saying, "That's great!" He grinned when he noticed how your eyes took on a crescent shape. It was enough to make his heart ache to see how happy you are. He joins in on your laughter, which fills the busy hallway. It seemed like it was just you two in your own little world. You forgot about your friends and so did he. But who cares—you want to spend time with him as much as you can.

You saw one of your friends out of the corner of your eye while you were walking in class together. When you see Jungwon approaching a group of six people, your worries about him vanish. After all, he had connections, which is great. “Who was that guy you walked into school with?” Leeseo pulls curiously on your sleeve.

“Oh him? the boy who yesterday moved in next door. We decided to walk together to school today.”

“Damn, I should visit your house more often.” Liz jokes, receiving a little slap on the arm from you. “Not funny.” They were staring at you after you said that. It was easy to tell you apart, anyone could tell whether you actually liked or hated someone. You spotted Leeseo and Liz exchanging glances as they made an effort to communicate with their brows and eyes.

Confused, you finally understood what they were doing. You made a little gasp that was audible to the two. When Liz discovers that you are speechless, she struggles to contain her laughter. It was way too much watching you like this. “You like him?”

“What—no! We just recently met, like yesterday! That is not possible.” You babbled while doing random gestures with your hands in the air.

“How come not?” Leeseo remarks while putting her chin on her palm. You recline, mumbling to yourself. Liz arches an eyebrow in an effort to understand what you said. "You know, falling in love with the new kid isn’t that bad. Probably could just be love at first sight.” Liz and Leeseo both nod in agreement.

“But that's so cliché!” You mutter into your palms as you groan. “I didn't want to fall in love this way.” you said.

“Well too bad! Now, will you help me with this worksheet?”

You didn't need much time to start looking for Jungwon. You searched everywhere, even every staircase and the areas around the lockers. You just wanted him to walk home with you, that's all. You swear you glanced at him briefly when the bell sounded, and then he vanished into the crowd. Five minutes have passed; time was moving much more quickly as normal.

You sighed and decided to go home by yourself. You hoped to see a boy with cat-like features running down your path as you dragged your feet along the concrete pavement. You kept turning around, but there was no boy in sight. He might have actually left. You put in your earbuds and started listening to the same song you did with him on the bus to get here.

It was a mistake to put your earbuds in. You were unaware that the boy you were searching for was chasing you. Even though he was gasping for air, he ran. You certainly moved too quickly for him. He constantly called your name but got no reaction from you. He seemed foolish—it looked like he was attempting to get back with his ex or something.

“Please have the red light turned on, please.” He spoke quietly to himself. Fortunately, the red light turned on, causing you to stop moving. He was relieved that you stopped as he was catching up to you. He touched you on the shoulder while gasping for air. You jumped when you noticed the boy's face was covered with sweat.

"What the hell?" you say. You remove your earbud and put it back in the case for your airpods. "You're drenched in sweat. Literally.” "I'm aware," he said. When Jungwon wipes off his sweat with his sleeve, you can see a red flush forming on his cheeks. “I literally ran all the way from there to catch up.”

“I didn’t even see you!”

“"Listen, I didn't even see you either! I felt as though I was being drawn into a blackhole—a blackhole packed with people—as soon as the bell rang. I was too busy searching around to look for you.”

“It took you that long to get out?”

“Yeah, I was stuck at the other side of the school.”

“Oh. Forgot to search that area.” He gave himself a forehead slap, which made you laugh. “My bad!”

“Whatever. We have each other now.” A smile was plastered on his face, looking at you once more. You nod, returning back the smile. You knew this school year was going to be a long one.

003 — SNEAKING OUT?

You and Jungwon were hanging out every day at this time. Your relationship became closer and closer every time you saw one other. Really, you now face-time each other for hours on end as part of your daily routine.

But things are different now. You didn't call him, and he didn't call you. During the walk to school and back home, all you did was talk. You were aware that the upcoming exam week would be busy. You guys couldn't stay on call for hours talking about who knows what because studying was a top priority.

You yawn after spending two hours poring over your textbooks. As you stretched, the message alert you had been waiting to see appeared. You quickly reach for your phone as you notice Jungwon's contact with a heart emoji appear. You grinned and quickly read his message.

“look outside :]”

You rushed to your window, seeing the boy wave with his phone flashlight on and a grey sweatshirt on. You caught a quick glimpse at the time—11:30 PM. Oh my god, it's already very late and your parents are sound asleep. You went to message him, “it’s late :(“

“it’s my only time to actually see you </3 it wouldn’t hurt to hang out for a bit!” You took a flimsy sweater from the closet and climbed out the window, knowing that your mother wouldn't mind. That's what you wanted to believe. He was keeping an eye on you from above to make sure you didn't trip.

Once you got down, you hardly saw his smile, but you were aware that his dimples were showing. When he's happy to be around you, you love to see his dimples, which was one of his best features.

“Hi.” Jungwon says in a sweet tone, making you fold instantly. “Where do you wanna go?”

“Oh you’ll see. Come on YN!” YN! He took hold of your wrist and led the way. Your stomach was besieged by a strange but warm sensation. Thank god it was dark outside since your cheeks were flushed with a light pink hue.

You two arrive in a grassy location not too far from your separate homes. “I've always wished to come here with someone.” He said it excitedly. “I’m glad I’m here with you.”

He had a huge tote bag that he brought along. He retrieved a plaid mat and set it down for you and him. He invited you to sit down with him by gently tapping the ground. You accept the iced coffee he offers and ask, "So...what are we doing here?" Oh my goodness, he was ready for this.

“We’re here to look at the stars.” He smiles broadly as he turns to face you. He recalled everything, including your two of you's very first chat. You and your crush are here under the stars gazing for constellations, you couldn't help but feel all giddy. Not to mention that you had never done it before.

You two kept talking and laughing together as usual. There was something about his voice today. As you continued to listen to him, you realized that his voice was enticing you to just shut up and listen to him rant all day. It was soothing and pleasant to listen to—why have you only recently paid attention to his wonderful voice?

As the laughter dies down, you two made the decision to maintain silence while allowing the breeze to fill the space. You two kept waiting. White dazzling stars begin to appear just when you're about to give up. “Wow, those are lovely.” You uttered the words reverently while holding your breath. As you continue, Jungwon nods in agreement. He is happy that he chose to invite you for this.

Jungwon noticed that your eyes sparkled like the stars above. That warm sensation returns to his chest. He's not sure why, but he feels strange whenever he's near you. You just have this effect on him that makes him want to hug you and fantasize about being in a relationship with you. He paid even more attention to you this time, seeing the wind beautifully blow your hair.

He examines your facial features; you were truly special. Seeing you this enthralled makes him want to see you like this every day—he's in big trouble. He realizes why he is feeling this way—he only wants to be with you.

That's right—being here with you under the moonlight makes him realize how much he adores you. Oh, you're going to have to pay for his next hospital visit— his heartbeat keeps increasing per second.

You lay down on the mat, hoping to get a better view of the stars. He joins you shyly, both of your heads touching. When you saw Jungwon point into the sky, you heard him chuckle. "Doesn't that one look like it's going to make a cat?"

You fixed your gaze on what he was pointing at. He wasn't mistaken—the lines did create those cat ears. "Oh, I see what you mean. Just a cat meeting another cat," You teased him again. You turned your head to see him, and his ears turned red. You return your gaze to the sky, a wide smile on your face.

"Do I really resemble a cat?" You respond with a nod. "You really do! The way you act at times, your features—particularly your eyes—uh, you're cute like a cat, too." Fuck, you used the word "cute" way too casually. You came to a halt and cleared your throat as Jungwon processed what you said. Did you just say he was cute? In shock, he thought to himself.

You're all flustered this time, while he gets cocky. "Do you really mean it? You know—about my cuteness."

“Take a look at that big dipper over there.” He leaves you alone, chuckling at the abrupt change of subject. All he knew was that his heart was racing, and it was all because of you.

It was becoming very late, and as much as you wanted to continue gazing up at the brilliant sky, you didn't want your parents to get angry with you. Additionally, it was starting to get a little chilly. Crossing your arms, you were rubbing your arms as you came down the road. That flimsy sweater was not going to help keep you warm. Jungwon notices, he was worried that you were going to get sick. He reaches for your arm, stopping you in your tracks. You turned around, looking to see what he wanted from you.

He gives you his tote bag. He quickly slings it on your shoulder after noticing your slow reaction. He removes his hoodie, gaining gasps from you.

"What are you doing, Jungwon?" He grabs the tote bag strap and drops the hoodie into your arms. While you fiddled with the material of his hoodie, he held onto the tote bag. He looks at you and smirks slightly.

“What? Do I have to put it on you now? Like I did when I helped you put on the scarf?" His voice was teasing, and deep down inside he wished you had said yes. He didn't know where the confidence came from—he probably just wanted to see you blush. Even though you were at a loss for words, you still didn't put on that hoodie. He reaches back for his hoodie, only to put it on you. He inserts both of his hands into the clothing, making it easier for him to put on you. When he put it on your head, you stuffed your arms into the sleeves.

He lets you do the rest, you pull the hoodie down to your stomach. His hoodie was quite large—he must prefer baggy clothing. Jungwon smiles fondly at you while you're all comfortable. You looked adorable in his hoodie—why is he like this?

Ba bump. Ba bump. Your heart beats faster with each stride. You want to kneel down in the middle of the sidewalk at the mere thought of you wearing this. As you’re making up random scenarios in your head, you hear a faint purring sound. You scanned around the area, looking for the source of the sound.

A black cat can be seen moving toward the lamp post. As you drew nearer to the cat, you gasped in awe. Jungwon keeps an eye on you from a distance, hoping the stray cat won't hurt you in any way. As you knelt down, you cooed to get the cat's attention. The cat slowly makes its way towards you, letting you easily pet it.

You gave it a little scratch under the head, and it purred in answer. As you continue to pet the kitten, Jungwon unexpectedly reaches into the bag. He approaches you and lowers himself alongside you.

Click! When the polaroid camera made a loud noise, you unexpectedly turned to face Jungwon. He takes out the polaroid and fans it in hopes of getting a photo. Once the image shows up, a small smile creeps onto his face. “Didn’t it turn out nice?” He shows you the polaroid, allowing you to see you and the cat. You said with a smile, “Where did you get that camera from?”

“I’m just a magician.”

“Oh cut that out.”

“Seriously though, I wanted to take pictures of us earlier. I forgot about it until now.”

“Then let’s do it now.” You motion with your hand for him to get closer. He is now crouched next to you, wondering what you’ll ask him to do next. You tug his sleeve lightly, making him move even more near you. You carefully picked up the cat and placed it into your arms. You held it with one arm while the other was free. You hold out a peace sign, waiting for Jungwon to snap a quick picture.

He notices that you’re ready and extends his arm into the air. He pressed the button twice, the sounds of the polaroid coming out was heard. He smiles at the picture—it looked like you two were owners of one cat. It was like you guys were in a small little family.

“Can I use that camera real quick?” Getting a yes from him, you grabbed his camera. He sipped his coffee as you held up the device. The light hits his eye, making him blink his eyes a bit. You took the polaroid, satisfied with the outcome.

“I’m keeping your polaroid.” You told him, showing him his picture one last time before putting it into the back of your phone.

“Only if you allow me to keep yours.”

“Deal.”

You reached his house first—but he wanted to walk you back home. So, instead of refusing, you let him come along. Before entering the front door, you looked at him one more time.

“Thank you for today, Won.”

He smiles, “Thank you for making my night better. Don’t get yelled at, alright?”

“You too. Goodnight!”

You say your goodbyes as you enter the house, him slowly walking away. You moved slowly up the stairs, closing your room door behind you. You took another look at the polaroids—you and Jungwon in one, and just Jungwon in the other. You collapsed onto your bed, giggling a little too loudly.

Meanwhile, Jungwon delicately held the two polaroids. He decides to put them in a glass frame and display them on his desk. He sits on his bed, looking at the photos you took.

Tonight was the day you realized you both liked each other.

A lot.

004 — LETTERS, LETTERS, LETTERS!

It wasn't surprising to hear your mother yelling your name. She always does that when she needs something done for her or wants to talk about school. You removed your earbuds after hearing a faint noise.

“WHAT?” You responded by yelling back at her. There was a brief pause before she continued. "YOU RECEIVED SOMETHING FROM JUNGWON!" You were perplexed—what had Jungwon gotten you?

You took a brief break from your homework to look for your mother. When you walked downstairs, you noticed her smirking slightly. You notice a white envelope in her hands when you look at her strangely. She hands you the letter quietly, allowing you to read the words "To: YN <3, From: Your Won!" You took it from her hands with a slight smile.

"Did my dear receive a love letter?" Your mother made you laugh, causing you to roll your eyes. "I did not."

"No matter what you say, the drawings on the envelope say otherwise." She exits the kitchen and goes to her room. You dashed upstairs to your room after she left. You sat in your chair and carefully examined the envelope. You flipped it over and noticed a slew of doodles on the blank side. There were hearts, smiley faces, and whatever else you could think of.

You carefully ripped the washi tape off, hoping not to tear the envelope apart. You noticed a letter, as expected. You took it out, stickers strewn across your desk. You quickly opened it, skimming over the words.

To… YN !

hihi! It's Jungwon, your next-door neighbor :]

Okay, enough with the greetings. Anyway, you might be wondering why you got this letter, so I'm here to tell you!

I think writing letters to each other would be a lot of fun, and we live right next door, so why not? When we can't call or, who knows, when we lose our wifi... We can use these letters! (Jk, I'm just trying to improve my writing...I think it's getting worse.)

all jokes!! I'm sure this letter is becoming increasingly difficult to read. But don't worry—our future letters will not be like this. (hopefully).

So, don't be afraid to leave a few letters nearby—I promise to read them all and keep them safe. (If you send one back, I'll show you proof!)

For the time being, goodbye :)

waiting your letter hehe ^^

From... your only won <3!

You squealed to yourself after rereading the letter several times. Unfortunately, your mother walks in on you doing so. She slowly raises her brow, looking at you and your reaction a few seconds ago. "Look at who's happy. Look, who helped you feel this way about a guy?"

"Oh, please, Mom, stop." You said this while covering your face with your hands. "Don't worry, I've got your back!" Besides, there's a reason I forced you to accompany me that day." You cringe as she sends you a wink. She laughs and walks out of your room with what she needs.

You looked over at your desk, where all of your writing supplies were piled up in the corner. You took out a piece of paper and a pen. These supplies will be put to good use.

You're writing a letter to the boy next door instead of doing your homework.

So productive.

005 — LOVE IS STRESSFUL

Without a doubt, Jungwon was going crazy every day. He worries that one day his heart may spring out of his chest, and seeing you every day didn't help. Almost everyone is aware of his and your romantic interest. And you and him? too terrified to act at all. You guys actually believe you're doing it slowly and carefully, which is a giant lie.

“Hm.. so—Ow!” One of his friends, Sunoo, hit Jungwon with a notebook. “What’s my dearest friend thinking hard about?”

"Not much at all." He sighed and admitted that he had been lying. He was debating whether to ask you out or not; perhaps he would postpone asking you out for a while.

“No need to lie.” He was exposed by Sunoo, who forced Jungwon to concede defeat. “I know you’re worried about ruining your ‘friendship’ with her, but maybe it’s better to get your feelings off your chest before it’s too late.”

“Right.” Jungwon sighed. He closed his eyes and ran his hands through his hair. This was simply too much for him. He only had to confess, which shouldn't be too difficult, right? Wrong—the anxious feeling reappeared.

"However, I'm not sure about my feelings." Sunoo rolled his eyes as watched him lie straight through his teeth. "Jungwon, are you serious? Everyone knows you two have something going on at this point—hey, if I didn't know you two, I'd think you two were dating!" Sunoo rambles on, forcing Jungwon to take in everything.

“You’re in denial. Too much denial.” Sunoo walked back and forth, an open palm and a fist hitting against it each time. He appeared to be far more stressed than Jungwon—what was Sunoo up to?

"You know, Jungwon is constantly in denial. Ever since she showed up." Niki appears from nowhere, snickering. The sounds he makes then fade as a result of Jungwon's glare. "Calm down, I was joking." He raises his hands, signaling his surrender. Jungwon rolls his eyes and settles back into his chair.

How should he approach you? He wanted this moment to be perfect not only for him, but also for you. But he knew he had to act quickly. Sunoo was right.

Just maybe, Jungwon will finally have a Valentine's Day date this year.

006 — TASTE OF VICTORY

Today was a big day. Jungwon finally mustered the courage to ask you out. That doesn't mean he isn't scared—his palms are sweating. He's nervously biting his nails and looking at his phone screen every time it lights up.

Ding! A text message. When he sees the contact name, he grabs his phone quickly. "future gf <3" was displayed, prompting him to take a deep breath in. Every day, seeing your text messages was nerve-racking. He reads the words "in front of your house rn!" as he clicks on your message. He rushes out of his room, opening the front door for you.

He opens the door to reveal you standing there. You give him that big smile he wishes he could see every day. He lets you in first, then walks up the stairs right behind you. He observes you as you relax on his bed. He's all over the place while you're calm.

"So, what do you want to do?" You broke the silence with your words. "Anything you want." He says. He needed to lighten the mood by playing video games or doing crafts—anything to calm his nerves.

"All right then." You handed him the video game console. "In Mario Kart, I'm going to beat you." You smiled at him, and he smirked back. "I'd like to see you give it a shot."

It was about time that he should confess. He notices you reading a book from his shelves. You were reading together, which you did frequently after playing games. "Let's listen to some music." You respond with a hum, forcing him to say something quickly. "Of course, to listen while reading." Okay, he's pretty smooth with it.

He hands you an earbud and starts playing a song he chose after hours of deliberation last night. He chose ‘I WANT U BABY’ by STAYC, a song that relates to his current situation. He kept an anxious eye on you as you turned the pages of the book. He probably assumed you wouldn't be paying attention to the lyrics, but you would. You were always interested in the songs he played around with you. Jungwon was never the type to make a big move first, unless he really wanted to.

How do you know that? You don’t know—you guess people seem to pay more attention to their crushes instinctively.

Playing it off normal, you just stayed silent and listened to the song.

Even if I toss and turn in my sleep, when I wake up.

I smile today due to your words from that day too

When did this start? Insane (-sane)

It's funny because it's similar to what both of you are going through right now. Every time he compliments you, it follows you wherever you go. Where did this blossoming feeling come from? The exact same question you tried to ask yourself.

Now I feel I'm floating all day

Everything seems to be floating, like a dream, yeah

Everything feels like a dream—as if he's not real. Everything appeared to be too good to be true.

I want you, baby

On a starry night, I want you to pick a star for me

Just want you, baby

Your cheeks warmed up as you recognized the lyrics. Isn't it amusing that you went stargazing a few weeks ago? Is he trying to tell you something? Is it all just a coincidence?

I want you to fill my empty heart up, I love ya

'Cause I'm crazy in love, crazy in love, I'm crazy in love

Crazy in love with star

If only he knew you were crazy in love with him too.

I want you baby

On a night like this

I knew that you were thinking 'bout me

He’s pretty much reading your mind at this point. Yes, you did want him—you hoped he caught the signal from you. You’re just humming along to prevent awkwardness.

Tonight will end, but I'm fine

I'll shine on you and me

Love might be a little bit foolish, but all right

You could be my only star

This song really hits home. You kept listening, feeling as if you could relate to every word. There was a brief pause after the song ended. You smiled, not wanting to get your hopes up, and said, "That was a really good song." Jungwon was nervous but relieved when you finally made eye contact with him.

“You think so?” You nodded, making him smile shyly.

“I picked that song for you.” He’s fiddling with his fingers, while you pretend to be clueless. “Hm?”

“Did you pay attention to the lyrics?” He pretends to fix his sleeves, trying to say what he wanted to say to you. “Those lyrics are the same thing I wanted to tell you.” You were shocked because you had been waiting for this for a while. You admire Jungwon's decision to confess since he was always such a shy person.

“Jung-“

He spoke quickly and cut you off, saying, "It's okay if you don't feel the same way, I just wanted to tell you this before it was too late." He gives you a frightened face since he undoubtedly expects you to reject him.

“I feel the same, Jungwon. I like you too.” You extended your hand and clasped his with your own. He was going to experience heartache because of the red color of his cheeks. You both hesitantly exchange glances while allowing the space to become silent.

What are we, then? He looks at you while clearing his throat. "Whatever you like, Won." You look at each other with admiration in your eyes.

As your faces move closer, your foreheads touch. He brings you further closer by placing his hand on your chin. Then, he places his soft lips on your lips. It was exactly right—not too fast, not too slow. You were both simply moving at your own rate.

After that, you two started to break apart while clearly blushing. It felt just right for Jungwon—the taste of victory. He tastes the strawberry lip balm you applied as he licks his lips.

“I’m gonna need to borrow that lip balm.” He chuckles, getting a shy response from you.

“You and I on Valentine's Day?” You answered yes when he asked. “You’re my first date, by the way.” Being your first, his heart flutters with happiness.

“I’m glad.”

You rested your head on his shoulder, playing around with his fingers. With the earbuds still in, he plays the song one more time.

“This will be our song now.” He smiles like a fool, while you laughed at him.

“Our song only.”

007 — YOUR MOON, HIS STAR

Finally, the day you've been looking forward to has come. It was Valentine's Day, a day you didn't usually celebrate. You never went on a date; you just hung out with your friends.

But this time, you actually got a date, and it was with your ideal guy. He is essentially everything you could ever want. It has been two weeks since you two started dating. He still tries to be with you everyday and leaves you love letters in your mailbox. Sometimes, you can’t even believe he’s yours.

You two have yet to tell your friends, but you will do so today. Although you were both anxious, the time had come for you to make your relationship known by them. They were already suspicious of you guys, so informing them now would be better before they discover it for themselves.

“You ready?” When you nodded in response to his query, he squeezed your hand firmly. “I bet they are gonna freak out.” Swinging his arm back and forth, you laughed. “I can see them from here…and why is Niki wearing a fish hat?”

“At least we had no trouble finding them.” As you moved toward the friend group, you spoke. When he sees you two holding hands, Niki is the first to catch you and lets out a startled gasp. He points at your hands with one hand while covering his mouth with the other.

The others soon catch on and begin to gasp. “FINALLY!!” Sunoo applauds, making the other people around him chuckle. “Congrats!” Liz says with a smile.

“Was sort of anticipating this”, While donning heart-shaped sunglasses, Leeseo remarks. “Hurry—let's go on some rides!” After putting on heart accessories, the group bolted off, heading to a ride they had their eye on.

As soon as you noticed Jungwon was exhaling, you turned to face him. “I’m glad that went smoothly.”

“Of course it would—they supported us in the beginning.”

“Oops, really?”

“Yes, I'll fill you in on everything when we finally catch up with them. Let's go, shall we?”

“Of course.”

“That roller coaster was fun!” Liz exclaims, locking arms with Leeseo.

“It really was—oh and Sunoo looked like he was about to pass out there!”

“Shut up Niki! This is literally why you don’t have a Valentine’s date!”

“Hey!”

You laughed along with them until you came across a merchandise store. "Ooh, let's stop by!" When you walk into the store, everyone walks in with you. It was a small but comfortable space. You split up into pairs to see if there was anything you wanted to buy. While you're amazed by everything in the store, a specific item catches your boyfriend's eye.

He taps your shoulder before lightly dragging you by your arm. He points to the silver star and moon necklaces, as well as the matching bracelets. "Wow, this is gorgeous!" You examined the jewelry by bringing it closer to your face.

"I think we should get it because it reminds me of us."

“You think so? Why?”

"If you like stars, you'd be my star, and I'd be your moon. I believe the moon and stars complement each other." He says, causing you to flush. "Then I'll agree with you."

"All right, I'll get it for us. We will get each other’s bracelets but keep our own necklaces that represent us. Just so we have something to remind us of each other wherever we go."

"You're so adorable, Won."

"Your adorable boyfriend only," he says shyly.

"All right, I cringed."

“Come on, you knew that was a good one. See you’re blushing right now!”

“No I’m not!”

"Whatever you say!" he chuckles. “I’m checking things out; you can keep looking."

You and your friends wanted to take pictures after a couple of rides and shopping. You came across three photo booths, all of which were empty. You asked your friends what they wanted to do. You only caught a glimpse of Niki smirking, which turned you and Jungwon around.

Your friends pushed you and Jungwon into the same booth, leaving you both perplexed. “What?”

“What?” Niki raises a brow. "The lovebirds must be in the same booth! Take pictures with him first, yn—you're his Valentine's date!" His voice fades as he enters a different booth.

You chuckled at his words as you straightened your hair. "All right, let's take a few pictures!"

You both decided on a photo strip with a light pink border and white hearts all over it. In no time, you both found props to use.

One. You both are wearing heart sunglasses, making peace signs as well. You both were close together—your faces were touching.

Click!

Two. Pushing the glasses to the top of your head, you made a hand heart with Jungwon. He completed your heart, with a heart sticker with him.

Click!

Three. You both grab the paper mustaches, holding the stick attached to it. You held it close to your face, so did he. He made a fake gun with his free hand, making you do the same as well.

Click!

Four. You quickly grabbed his waist once the 10 second timer appeared again. You brought him closer to you, making him flustered. You press your lips against his cheek, feeling his dimple appear.

Click!

When you’re finished taking pictures, he takes both photo strips from the booth. He gives you one copy and keeps the other. He smiles as he looks at the picture. "Another picture for my room." You noticed his cheeky smile and couldn't help but smile along with him.

You reached out for his hand again, grabbing his attention. He kisses the crown of your head, getting a small giggle from you. “You know, I’m glad you moved in next door.”

“I’m glad too.” He looks at you again, smiling, this time showing his teeth. You couldn't help but want to pinch his cheeks right then and there. He takes your hand in his and lightly kisses it. Oh, how deeply you both loved each other.

“I love you, my moon.”

“I love you more, my star.”

-

ENHA PERM TAGLIST — @son4taa @mokiverse @yenavrse @shinsou-rii @luveuly @ilovewonyo @yenqa @dimplewonie @bubblytaetae @wtfhyuck @ineedaherosavemeenow @starcubes @starikizs @wonioml @chirokookie @xiaoderrrr @neozon3nha @en-chantedtomeetyou @millksea @enhaz1 @eundiarys @ahnneyong @hanienie @zuyairus

TAGLIST — 🏷️

@soov @taejays @i4yuns @trsrina @ddenoudepression @ghostiiess @feeeli @bucketofhiros @foxsunoo @akashisthighs

[yanny09]

hello gang it's me again

in relation to what you answered somebody else about communicating with gods! how do i know once i've reached the state of meditation where i can communicate with them ? i've never heard them before , not the way people describe so i don't think i'll be able to ever hear them but if that kind of mindset is holding me back then please let me know !

also side note , i had no idea i could be a devotee as a minor ??? i'm 17 and the legal age of consent in my country is 18 , but i've heard a lot of people say that i should wait until i'm an adult to be a devotee so that's why i've been reluctant to call myself one even though ... everything i do is devotee activities for apollo i fear ( but if i can be a devotee at my current age i'd be so joyous you have no idea !!!! )

YOUUU!! /pos YOU FAMOUS LITTLE CREATURE!!!! welcome back on my page bestie okay so for meditation i know ive got it nailed when im nearly nearly asleep, this is why i use music because i sleep in silence and in the darkness and i sleep HARD LMAO. then its more like... listening to what your gut is telling you, you think you need to relax some more? do so! thats probably the deity!! and yes, mindest can hold you back and it can hold you back quite alot. the only way i really experiance internal deity communication is in this state and it takes PRACTICE!! side note i didnt know i needed to be legal age to be a devotee.. honestly if you and apollo feel ready for that devotee and devoted realtionship go ahead! still reading this? THANKS SO MUCH??? remember to head to my page and ask a question if you have one!!

[jqmalikhsgib]

sea view

five

you were very irritated. you couldn’t believe that she has the audacity to comment on your sons post. after harry blocked kendall, along with her family, you’d blocked her from your socials as well. you just never let corbin know. in fact you and harry never told corbin who he’d had affairs with. it wasn’t like you kept the affair a secret.

corbin was old enough to know his dad wasn’t faithful in the past. part of of resented harry for it for a long time. he couldn’t believe his father would hurt him mother like that.

over time though. corbin forgave his dad. he made a mistake and got his shit together. harry made it up to them every single day, he’s still doing everything in his power to prove he’ll never make that mistake ever again.

you were currently on the phone with harry, crying. she was so sick of harry’s past trying to bite them in the ass when they’re trying to move on with their lives.

“i know baby. it’s not much we can do though. i mean, we can get corbin to make his account private.” harry sighs.

“i want him to live life like a normal teenager, harry! he shouldn’t have to censor himself because one of your ex bitches are harassing us!”

“honey—”

“no, i know. im sorry. it’s not your fault.”

harry knew that wasn’t true. if he’d been a faithful husband to begin with, none of this would be happening. you wouldn’t be crying alone in your bedroom.

“it is though, baby. i fucked up! that’s gonna haunt me until the day that i die. i—fuck! if you want, i’ll talk to kendall,”

“absolutely not! i don’t want her anywhere near you or the kids. just—set up the meeting and i’ll show up. im gonna handle this once and for all.” you state angrily.

“baby, that’s not a good idea. listen, ill unblock her, text her myself, let her know stop fucking with my family, okay? no need to meet up with her or anything.”

you sigh.

“fine! but harry, i swear to god if she—”

“i know, honey. now, is my girl calmed down a little?”

“stop! you know i hate when you talk to me all sweet and cute after ive just been pissed off.”

“mhm, i know you like it that for sure. how are the kids?”

“corbin and the girl he was dating broke up. he’s been a bit depressed.” you pout at the thought of your oldest experiencing his first heartbreak.

“is it bad that im kinda happy?”

“harry!”

“what?! im not happy he’s sad. im just relieved he’s not dating anymore. he has his whole life to date, angel. he should just be a kid for right now.”

“i think next year he’s gonna try out for soccer!”

“you mean football, baby.”

you playfully roll your eyes. “whatever you wanna call it, babe. im just worried he won’t do as good as he wants. he really wants to impress you.”

“he’s half english, love. it’s in his blood to be an amazing football player.

“promise you won’t make it a huge deal, harry? if he doesn’t get in he’ll think you’re disappointed in him if you show any sort of excitement.”

“i swear, baby. how’s my princess doing?”

“payton got sorta got in trouble in art school for saying a not so nice word today.”

“no?! not my baby girl! she wouldn’t.”

“mhm, she did! apparently she asked her teacher what a dirty little slut meant.”

“what?! where did she,”

“where do you think, harry! when the teacher called she told me she heard it from our room one night. i was totally embarrassed.”

harry laughs loudly. he couldn’t believe his little girl over heard the two of you in the middle of sex. obviously a bit traumatic but, hilarious. he could only imagine what you looked like as the teacher tells you what happened.

“harry, it’s not funny! our seven year old daughter heard us having sex.”

“it’s your fault!”

“my fault?!”

“yes! i recall you being a brat. had to put you back in your place, baby.”

at this point the conversation shifted. you squeezed your thighs together, trying to create some type of friction.

“you can’t say shit like that when you’re gone. it’s not fair!”

“you know i love teasing you, baby. but i miss you too, love. you have no idea how many times ive got a hard on, on stage. it’s not easy hiding it either. with these outfits lloyd has me wearing, i can’t move around too much.”

“what song turns you on that much when you sing it?”

“baby, it’s not even the music. the energy i put out, i give the crowd a show. sometimes you just pop in my head and im gone! fuck, i miss the taste of you.”

you whine. “can’t wait until you’re home. then this problem will go away. i can finally get fucked properly. this vibrator isn’t doing me right, harry! it’s not big or thick enough!”

“need my cock that much, huh?”

“mhm.”

“promise you, baby. when i get home, im gonna fuck you like you need, yeah? gonna make up for all the time we lost, love.”

“promise?”

“one thousand percent.”

you smile at the thought. your youngest son interrupted you right after. you sigh before letting harry know you’ll call him later. you end the call before getting up and going to hayden’s room.

“hi, baby! what’s wrong?”

hayden sniffles as he lifts his arms out. you giggle before picking your son up. “you just want cuddles from, mommy, yeah? im here baby. i love you so much.” you begin to kiss his cheek as he giggles. “you love mamas kisses don’t you, baby!”

you kiss his cheek again as he attempts to clap his hands. “god, you’re the cutest six months old in the entire world! aren’t you, baby?!”

you set up a few toys on the floor and set him down so the two of you could play. you couldn’t wait for your other kids got home from the park and your husband came home from tour in a few more weeks.

[arioloyal]

[[Sepandarmazgan]](King baldwin iv x reader)])

Part2

[Jerusalem- 1182]

Sibylla's pov:

I wasn't there the day that the young traveler appeared on my brother's path with her long hair and strange black clothes. I had gone outside Jerusalem with some of my companions to meet balian. When I came back, I realized that the story of my younger brother's acquaintance with that stranger has become a new topic for any conversation.

All the people were asking one thing: who is this girl who is not known where she came from?, what is her origin?, how come the king of the holy land took her seriously and almost bowed to her?...

Since I have been used to seeing everyone bow to my brother since childhood, I never thought that one day he would bow to someone as a sign of respect. He only bowed in supplication before the statue of Jesus during worship, not before lesser and ordinary persons. That's why I didn't believe what I heard. But when I returned, Raymond confirmed the matter, and as I've never heard such a loyal person tell a lie till this day, I was forced to believe that Baldwin had kissed the stranger's hand at court, in front of everyone.

Besides, as Tiberias said, this uninvited guest who seems to be y/n of Persia, is destined to stay with us from now on.

Who is this stranger who suddenly came down from the heaven with a basket and just appeared in front of him? I wanted to look for her and see her with my own eyes. As soon as I saw Tiberias, I asked him: "Then why can't this girl be found?"

Tiberias silenced me by whispering: "Shh...his majesty and Lady y/n have gone to that bedchamber and closed all the doors."

From a distance, their voices sounded like whispers, but it was impossible to understand what they were saying. I was going that way when Tiberias stopped me again.

:"You better wait Sibylla, they don't want to be disturbed."

Guy de lusignan's pov:

...the long days in Jerusalem are not easily over. But they did not come out, the next day was the same, the next day again...how many words did they already have to talk to each other? What could the king of Jerusalem have in common with an ordinary person?

...One week passed, another week was the same... The servants and physicians lined up behind together every day and left the that leper's medicine , fresh bandages and food behind it and left. Although every day more delicious food was cooked than the day before, baldwin and y/n seemed to eat nothing but a piece of wheat bread and a bowl of milk and left the rest behind the door.

The order of the court was messed up. Every day that passed, I became more nervous and curious; I'm always calm, but this time it was different. At different hours of the day, I would stick my eyes to the door and look inside the room. I eavesdropped tirelessly every day. What if this girl knows about the caravan that Reynald and I robbed? as that orange-colored traitor said: "You should be afraid of famous people"...

But in any case, I did not see anything special. The curtains were drawn halfway. Except for the few words I stole in the air, the only thing I could hear was endless whispers. When there is nothing to see or hear, a person starts to fantasize in his mind. Maybe something has happened to the girl...

Once, Sibylla surprised me while I was listening to the door. she was angry and surprised. I think she also came here out of curiosity and wanted to know what kind of long story this is. Honestly, women are naturally curious. they can't help it.

My princess's eyes became like wild cats and she whispered her words in my face angrily.

:"You have no right to eavesdrop here. Since when did you worry about your king? You are not even allowed to enter this corridor."

Thank God I always keep my excuses in my pockets already: "Your lover now has the support of your brother. I have thousands of Knights and Templars at my disposal, and I have the power to do anything without his permission, but before that, I must remind the king that I am asking for your hand in marriage, otherwise your son's rule will be nothing but destruction... I came to talk to him, but it seems he has a beloved guest who never gets tired of being with her almost a month everyday..." I don't know why, but suddenly I laughed at the thought of it. wondering what just happened there...

(To be continued...)

[lokorum]

1 ,6 , 10, 12, 22, 36, 37, 57, 77 for Gortash x Isa ?👀

oh oh ooooooooohhhh thank you so much for your ask!! i hope you'll enjoy reading it!! &lt;;3

1. who’s the primary protector of the two?

hmm, i can easily see at least a couple of reasons why tav if they are durge - gonna be fiercely protective of gortash and vice versa since they're the only two "survivors" of aaaaaall this mess they themselves created years ago. so i think they are kinda on the same lvl here? (especially after events of bg3 uuhhh)

but also - their understanding of "protection" is very different. for isa it's all about making sure that no one in the same room with gortash has access to sharp objects. (he kills rivals, neutralizes threats -that kind of stuff). while enver on the other hand protects through being extra thoughtful - he double checks all possible drawbacks of their plans; willingly spends time to manipulate\misinform people about anything related to bhaal's church; makes sure isa has the best gear and equipment, all that jazz!!

6. who holds a grudge the longest? definitely 10000% i'm absolutely certain - its gortash. if he turns out not to be the most vengeful bitch across the whole sword coast (and the one with a very good memory too) - i'm guilty of misinterpreting this character and should be punished by romancing someone super cute and kind (please dont do this to me).

what made me think that way is a sweet combo of his delusional perception of the world + his self-esteem, i guess? though in more close relationships i imagine him being the kind of person who, when offended, either becomes cold and distant, basically silent-treats you, or acts like nothing happened bc he can't\doesn't have time to process the situation. healthy coop mechanisms? i bet this stinky lil men never heard about them.

isa, well, isa is more of a "i deserve to bleed" kinda person............

10. which of the two is quick to speak and which one is quick to listen? ohhhhhh on any day of the week - gortash is a talkative one!! and isa are getting their "very good boi" badge and a cake for saying more than 100 words in one day (it rarely happens) 

12. which of the two rolls their eyes the most often? gortash thinks it's him but he is wrong. 

22. Who gets more easily embarrassed? gortash thinks it's not him, but it is. 

36.  who’s better at dealing with emotional trauma? WELL to paraphrase wendigoon: between planning to usurp all toril and going to the therapy - they chose violence.

37. who’s more foulmouthed? since isa's vocabulary consists mostly of "um", "ha?" and "heh", gortash once again is our winner! i think his criminal past left a mark on his speech, no matter how he plays all lordy and nobly these days. piss him off - and im 99,9% sure you'll hear something coooooolourful. 

57. who’s got the highest pain tolerance? ohhh definitely isa for this one!! they can go days and days without treating their wounds, and they are horrible at realising they're wounded in the first place! broken bones, broken and exposed bones, deep cuts, bruises, concussions, knocked out teeth, burned skin, sliced skin, frostbitten skin, you name it - they had it. the way isa treats their body deeply horrified enver when he noticed the pattern but tbh??? sometimes i look at enver and think that he is one of those ppl who will lie down and cry if you slap them 

77. who's more likely to execute their threats? both!! it's a family activity. 

phphph ive made memes...............................................................................................................................................

[graysnetwork]

hello !! can i request gary "roach" sanderson x gn!reader headcanons ? like how he is in a relationship , how he got together with the reader etc. ( feel free to ignore if requests arent open ! )

Petition to get more Roach imagines, headcannons, and oneshots🪧👋

Edit mid writing: I got carried away with it😅

Edit from right after finishing this: I did this for a whole hour, please somebody get me a therapist this is not healthy.

GARY “Roach” SANDERSON X GN!READER HEADCANNONS

-

(If you weren’t in the military) you knocked on his door asking if he had a battery charger because nobody in the neighborhood seemed to have one

The moment his eyes captured you he was amazed by how pretty you were, he went to grab his charger for you, and gave it to you, you left and he saw that you lived right next door to him

He didn’t want to be a creep so he went back to cooking his dinner and listening to the tv, but you did stay stuck in his mind for those two hours, the way your eyes looked, the scent you radiated, and your smile when you said thank you and introduced yourself to him.

He remembered that at 6pm he heard an engine roaring, when he went out to look he saw you sitting in your car checking something, he saw how happy you looked, before he knew it you sped off, only leaving echoes.

—

(If you were in the military) you two were in different squads same units but never met, only ever seeing each other occasionally.

Price had called you in to talk with you, telling you— you would be working with another squad on a mission, then he introduced you to Roach

There was an immediate connection, something was there, some type of electricity that you couldn’t specify.

But nonetheless you are quite determined when it came to your job, even with you being confused with your emotions about Roach, you got your job done, that’s what made Roach more interested in you. How efficient you were, and how good at your job you were.

But apparently you two weren’t efficient enough to get out of the only building with a bomb planted in it, you two were so fixated on getting your teams out of the building and grabbing intel you two didn’t realize you were too late to get yourselves out of the building.

To you the bomb got louder with every tick it made, and when it finally gave off three quick ticks you prepared yourself. You felt someone grabbing you, covering you with their entire body wrapped around you and all you heard was the explosion and your ears began to ring. You opened your eyes for a few seconds seeing Roaches eyes before you passed out.

You woke up again hooked up to an IV and laying in front of a doctor/medic. The doctor called Price in and the first thing he said to you was “kid, I didn’t know you were being serious when you said you would die for this job” both of you chuckled. You looked around the room noticing someone in the chair next to your bed, it was Roach.

“He been waiting for you ever since he got out of his own bed” Price told you, you heart melted when you heard him say that, “he really cares about you, you should give him a chance” Price said, you looked back at him confused

“I saw the way you two looked at each other when you two first met, you should give it a shot. go on a date with him, you might love it” Price told you “yeah, I’ll think about it” you told him smiling

—

Now here’s the headcannons

He pretty quiet so he loves to listen to you talk about your day, even if it was bad, in that case he tries to cheer you up and make you feel better.

He’s a good cuddler, he likes being big spoon but prefer having you lay on his chest

(Loves it when he gets to be little spoon)

He’s a pretty good cook, you two have a schedule (he cooks on Monday, you cook on Tuesday, and so on)

But every once a month you two go out to a restaurant

(That’s when he’s home)

When his team found out he had a S/O they were pretty stunned but when they saw you in a picture/met you, they were astonished, I mean how did their mate Roach pull You?

(If you were in the military) they were messing with Roach when they started hearing rumors about him and you going out, but when Roach straight up told them it was true they were stunned, jaws were dropping.

Now if you weren’t in the military, you two moved in together somewhere else, roach had been wanting to move somewhere else so after two years you guys got a house together

Roach is a sweetheart, he’s literally such an amazing bf, like a golden retriever but can also just casually turn into German Shepard police dog

Roach doesn’t get jealous easily, it’s pretty hard to get him jealous cause he knows you would never cheat, but he does get mad when guys put there hands on you without consent (obviously)

(For non-military reader) So it’s not like he tries to stop you from going to car meets, he actually enjoys going with you

He finds that you actually know a few of the people there and he becomes friends with them because you always find them

He also takes note of the ones you like, the rims you like, the colors or wraps so he can make you a future Christmas or birthday gift.

Yeah he’s a good bf

NSFW? He’s probably like 7.6 inches maybe even a little bigger

He likes to give oral (a bit more than receiving)

Sometimes he gets lost in the moment and ends up hurting you a bit but never hurt hurting you, probably just digging his nails into your hips

Leaves hickeys each time, he can’t not leave a mark on you, he likes that it looks like claiming almost

Also likes waking up and seeing all the scratches on his back from the night before

(F!reader moment)

Loves it when (he’s giving you oral) and you push his head down, or wrap you legs around him more, it makes him go feral knowing you want more

Position? He probably just loves the basics: missionary, doggy, downward dog, cowgirl

Favorites are probably missionary and cowgirl

He’s open to do anything with you other than bdsm probably, like choking would never happen

As I said he loses himself in the moment sometimes so he would never even trust himself with choking you or wtv

—

That’s it 🤗

[nattyluvs]

PINK ROSES - chapter 18

"hey, look they have a photo of chris up there" yeji said to jeongin, pointing to the framed photo on the wall. yn turned to them, slapping yeji's hand.

"hey, stop holding hands if ur gonna walk next to me, i look like a loner." yn commented.

"listen, if u grow a pair and make a move on little lixie back there, u might be able to lock fingers with him" yeji scoffed, nudging her head in the direction of felix behind them.

"but-"

"no buts! just go talk to him..hes probably waiting for you"

"yeah no buts" jeongin spoke in a mocking tone

"whatever! ill be right back then..." yn mentioned, slowing down her walking speed to catch up with felix and jisung behind her.

minho, jisung, and felix were all walking together, felix seemingly not interested in whatever bickering argument they were having. yn gave felix a little wave while walking towards him, felix returning the favor.

"hey, i thought id walk with you since you dont seem interested in whatever they're talking about"

"trust me, im not. they argue everyday and then somehow make up? im not sure how they function doing anything together," he pointed out

they walked next to eachother for a bit, in comfortable silence. looking at the several concession, merch, and other items' stands. they walked like this for a bit until the silence was interrupted.

"you know, i want to try dancing one day, just as a hobby"

"why the sudden interest?" felix asked

"cause, ive seen how passionate hyunjin seems to be about it, same with you. you both seem to have this aspiration to keep doing it, im interested."

"especially hyunjin, i mean, he has danced since he was like in primary school competitively for 5 years."

"why did he stop competing?"

"well i remember he was around 15, he stopped competing because he didnt like the atmosphere of dance competitions. he just felt that going up against other people wasnt his thing." yn explained, voice shaken for a split second due to felix's hand brushing against hers for a moment.

"hmm, that makes sense. personally i think dancing isnt the kind of sport that should be competed, but judt enjoying the art of it."

"yeah, i get where ur coming from." yn answered, "hey im about to tell u something but you cannot tell hyunjin i told you, got it?"

felix nodded, "okay so basically the year felix stopped competing for dance, my soccer coach scouted him for that season and we were on the same team for awhile." yn recalled.

"why the hell would he not want people to know about that? thats kinda silly to be embarassed about"

"cause he's embarrassed about it, and he quit halfway through the season at the same time i did, and continued with dancing."

"im missing something here," felix spoke, their hands brushing once again.

"if u dont mind me asking, why did you quit? there had to be a reason right?" he questioned

"well first of all i was on a competitive team, i had worked really hard to get there then i got injured halfway through the season." she muttered

"if you dont want to talk about it we dont have to, you know. this seems like a sensitive topic for you"

"no its fine, its just i loved doing it so much, and one thing just tore it all apart, i cried alot about it. i still do sometimes"

"the really only way i can get involved now is coaching, and i dont know if i-" her voice starting to stutter, feeling the tears well up.

"hey, we dont have to talk about it anymore, i dont wanna see u crying." he pulled her into a hug, rubbing circles on her back for a moment.

"hey! you two can stop being lovey over there, we found the elevator!" they heard jisung shout.

felix rolled his eyes before letting go, handing her a cloth to wipe the tears threatening to fall down her face

"you know, you and hyunjin act like you hate eachother, but when u both are seriously talking about one another, u both sound very fond."

"shut up, i hate him, hes annoying" yn lightly punched him on the arm, while he pretends thats the hardest anyone has ever hit him.

"why do you keep touching my hand with yours, do you want to hold it or something?" yn asked

"and if i do?"

"i wont object" they successfully locked fingers with eachother while waiting for the elevator.

"your hands are really small you know" she mentioned

felix whined a bit, too embarrassed to say anything.

they walked into the elevator along with everyone else, going down a few floors until reaching the right one. they walked over to their seats while felix and yn unfortunately had to break their handholding.

"we have to put our bags in the locker room, but we'll be right back okay? dont jump onto the court while we're gone" minhos voice was heard from behind her

----

they sat there for around an hour, chatting about who-knows what. after first quarter, the group left to prepare for their performance. this left yn and yeji to sit by themselves

"sooo i saw u making moves back there huh!" she teased, nudging her arm.

"stop! it's embarrassing ill tell you about it later."

"hey whatsup!" they heard a familiar, annoying voice coming from up the stairs.

yn and yeji both turned their heads to see beomgyu, eyes and mouth wide open in suprise, not expecting to see him there.

"why are you even get here? where are your parents..." yeji asked, jokingly annoyed

"i literally have a liscense, and im on a date for your information!"

they both gasped, yn proceeding to speak "wait are you with..."

"if youre thinking what im thinking then yes" beomgyu gave them a cheesy grin

"then what the hell are you doing down here? go back to your date, dont leave him hanging you know" yeji scolded

they exchanged some more small conversation before beomgyu left and it was just the two of them.

--

after around an hour had passed it was finally halftime, they both waited in their seats impatiently for the announcer to call them out

the performance started shortly, taking turns on the big screen up above. they performed to 3 songs, stage outfits matching each of them perfectly.

as soon as it was over, yna nd yeji rushed over to the break room from their seats. they stopped to buy some flowers along the way.

once arrived in the break room, they parted ways while yn went to search for felix, finally spotting him at the back of the room, minifan blowing at his face.

"hey you did really good, you know? im glad you got over your nerve, that performance was fire"

"im glad you liked it becuse im sooo tired" he slurred, forcing her to return his hug.

they pulled away from their hug as she started to whisper in his ear, "hey dont tell hyunjin but, i was really only here to see you"

yn giggled to herself before happily walking out the room, leaving felix baffled at the confession she just dropped

"what the f-"

"felix, man!" a sudden sighting of jisung came up, "whats going on! why. are. you. still. in here. lets go? we have a reservation to catch.." jisung dragged felix and his bag out of the room

previous masterlist next

a/n: i am so wmbarssed actuslly at this, unfortunately there probably isnt gonna be any more than like 10 chapters after this one..im so sad i dont want it to be over

taglist open (send a note or click here to be added)

@https-skzology @yongboksfavorite @gwyu0 @skogane @nikisbf @choiakko-3 @llavenderlilacc @starsfly01091711 @jeanbob @neoculturewhat @str4awb3rrym1lkl0v3r @sleeplessmin @beautifulixr @rocking-pebble @encaphy @thatlonelyalto @marcillfll @arizzu @lixieswife @vivioluh @tyigerz @staurdvst @iadorethemskz @angelzforu @lulumallow @milfza-is-hot @yachi-lover3 @minhoesss @hvrtsforlino @iluvhuddy @myknifeyourlife @felixvsp @amara-mars

[lovelyleclercs]

Chapter Eight- Lonely Fight

Arthur Leclerc x Sofia Sine

-> Sofia is forced to go to treatment alone while Arthur is away racing, but what happens when her dosage is increased and it all becomes too much for her?

warnings: not proof read, mentions of cancer, fighting cancer alone, body shakes, dizziness, fainting, heart rate decreasing, cancer treatments, cold sweats, I think that is is but please let me know if there is anything else- I don't know how cancer treatments actually go, i've only ever heard bits and pieces so if anything is wrong, I am sorry<3

word count: 2018

a/n: sorry besties

Sofia sighed and stared into the empty hospital room that she was meant to be occupying for the next couple of hours. She looked over at the chair that was pushed up against the bed which she had assumed Dr. M had prepared for Arthur even though he wouldn’t be there. 

Her eyes then traveled to the vacant bed, one that had several blankets laid out, knowing that at some point in the next few hours she would need all of them to keep her warm. 

As she approached the bed, tears formed in her eyes, the idea of having to go through this treatment alone again almost scaring her.

When she laid down in the bed, she stared up at the ceiling, trying to get the tears to stop creeping their way up to her waterline when three knocks against the wooden door halted the process.

Dr. M walked in after a quick hello. When she saw you lying in bed staring at the ceiling, Arthur nowhere to be found, a frown spread across her face. “Where is Arthur? Oh god did my advice ruin your friendship…” 

Sofia wiped her tears away and looked over at Dr. M “what?”

“Oh, nevermind, nothing. Where is he?”

“Racing” Sofia whispered, not wanting to talk about Arthur nor his absence any longer. 

“Oh… I'm sorry, honey. I was really expecting him to be here, especially because your dosage is increasing today.. The side effects are going to be much worse…”

Sofia nodded “i know, it’s ok, it has to be done with or without him, I can’t keep him from pursuing his dreams” 

Dr. M nodded and sat down on her little stool, grabbing ahold of Sofia’s arm as she began the IV process. “Before I get the treatment started, I have to let you know a few things about this dosage increase”

Sofia nodded and looked up at her, indicating that she was listening. 

“Some people do have complications during this specific treatment. It’s not uncommon for a patient to end up needing to stay overnight here at the hospital”

“What kind of complications?” Sofia asked, fear very evident in her voice.

“Some have gone into heart failure, others have fainted from the intensity.. It all depends on your body. You could go without any complications, too. It really just depends.”

Sofia nodded a little, picking anxiously at the skin around her nails once more. “If anything happens to me… anything at all, you have Arthur’s number, right?”

Dr. M nodded “yes of course, would you like me to contact him first?”

Sofia nodded “yes please. It’s monday so he isn’t racing today, he should answer… I hope”

“Alright, but if he doesn’t answer then I will call Charlotte, ok?”

Sofia nodded and looked back up at the ceiling when she saw Dr. M pulled out the iv bag that had the treatment in it. “That’s fine, let's just get this over with please” 

After about five minutes of getting the IV hooked up and all set up for Sofia, Dr. M left the room, leaving Sofia alone again. 

Everything Dr. M had warned her had been true- the symptoms were 10x worse than they ever had been. 

The shakes were so intense that she could barely think straight.

The cold sweats were making even the six blankets on top of her feel like they weren’t enough. 

She had even developed a bit of a rash on the arm that held the IV which was a completely new symptom for her.

She thought about how this might’ve been more bearable if she would’ve begged Arthur to stay, but what kind of friend would she have been if she asked him to stop pursuing his dreams to help make this battle a little easier?

What kind of a friend would she have been to make him watch the cancer fighting process all over again? 

She found it to be so selfish of herself to even consider asking Arthur to stay. 

But damn would it have made all of this so much easier.

The longer Sofia sat with the IV in her arm, the worse she felt. She could barely make sense of anything in the room around her anymore, all of the objects meshed together in her blurred vision. She was so dizzy that she felt like throwing up, though the body shakes prevented her from doing so. Her body was so cold that she couldn’t feel her hands or her feet, preventing her from being able to press that red button Dr. M had told her to use if things got too horrible. 

Never in her life did she ever imagine that something that was supposed to cure her would make her feel so sick and so weak. 

Sofia had no longer heard the beeping of the heart monitor nor could she hear the people having a conversation outside. The only sound she could hear was that of a ringing in her ear. 

She felt her body stop shaking, which she was grateful for because she was sick and tired of constantly moving so much. 

Her vision was still blurred, but the sight in front of her was getting darker and darker. Was she finally falling asleep?

Before she knew it, she couldn’t hear or see anything. She had lost tune with her body completely. Maybe she really did fall asleep. 

When Dr. M rushed in at the alert from Sofia’s monitoring machines, she saw Sofia lying in bed completely still- no shaking, no small movements, no acknowledgement that she had even walked in. “crap” Dr. M mumbled before removing the IV as quickly as she could, wrapping a bandage around the area where the IV had once laid. 

She quickly moved to the other side of Sofia’s bed and started a new IV in her other arm, hoping that some fluids would help Sofia regain consciousness. 

Maybe this had been too much for Sofia far too soon. 

Maybe her body wasn’t meant for this type of treatment. She was only 20 years old after all, maybe it was too much for someone her age. 

Dr. M picked up her phone and found Arthur’s contact at the top of her contact list. She tapped on his name and then the small phone button, her phone automatically began calling Arthur.

Arthur was in his hotel room packing up his bags to travel to the next destination when his phone began to ring. When he noticed that it was Dr. M, a bit of panic had set in. Dr. M said she would only ever call if something happened to Sofia..

“Hello?” Arthur said, putting the phone up to his ear

“Hello? Arthur? It’s Dr. M”

“Yes hi, is everything alright?”

Dr. M paused for a moment, sitting down in the chair by Sofia’s bed. “Actually, no. there was a complication with her new treatment dosage”

Arthur’s heart sank at those words, tears instantly forming in his eyes. “What kind of complications?”

“Well, I think that this dosage was far too much for her. Normally this treatment plan is for people in their 40’s to 50’s as typically people of her age don’t have such an intense cancer like she does. I’m thinking she’s too young for such an intense treatment”

“Dr. M what is wrong with Sofia, what happened to her??” Arthur asked sternly, not wanting to hear whatever else she had to say. 

“She lost consciousness and her heart rate has dropped significantly. I’ve since removed the treatment IV and replaced it with some fluids to help her flush out the treatment”

“Is she awake? Is her heart rate stable?”

“No and no. It’s not something we can fix in a matter of seconds. I won’t be leaving her room until both things happen though, I can assure you of that.”

“I will be there as quickly as I can, ok? I’m in Bahrain right now, but I'll have my flight redirected to monaco. I won’t have access to texts or calls for a couple of hours, but please make sure she’s ok.. I can’t lose her too” he whispered, his voice breaking at the idea of losing Sofia too.

“I promise I'm doing everything I can, Arthur. I’ll see you soon. Have a safe flight” 

-

Arthur spent three incredibly long hours on the plane back to Monaco. With every minute that ticked by, he found himself worrying more and more about the state of Sofia. With his phone on airplane mode, he wouldn’t have been able to receive any updates from Dr. M- for all he knew, Sofia could be dead right now. 

When the plane touched down on the runway, Artur unbuckled himself and got up out of his seat, grabbing his belongings and making his way towards the door of the plane- he had never been more grateful to have a private plane than at this very moment. 

Thankfully enough, the airport was located right next to the hospital, so it wouldn’t be much longer before he’d be able to hold Sofia’s hand and promise her that everything would be ok. 

After thanking his pilot, Arthur made his way towards the hospital. The moment he stepped through the sliding hospital doors, time seemed to slow. The hallways seemed longer, the elevator ride seemed to last a lifetime, and the people around him seemed to move so slowly. 

When Arthur finally reached Sofia’s room, he opened the door gently and stepped inside, closing the door behind him before walking over to the bed. 

He stared down at Sofia who had looked so weak and ill. She had three different IV’s in her arms which he knew she would hate when she woke up.

Arthur had been so fixated on the state of Sofia that he hadn’t even noticed Dr. M was speaking to him. 

“Arthur?” she said once more, trying to get his attention for the fifth time since he walked through the door. 

“Hm? Sorry, I didn’t see you there” he whispered, taking Sofia’s hand in his as he sat down on the edge of her bed. “Has she woken up yet? Since she lost consciousness?”

Dr. M shook her head, a small frown appearing across her lips. “Not yet. She probably won't for a few more hours” 

“How about her heart rate? Is it steady?” 

Dr. M nodded a bit “sort of. It’s better than it was when I called you, but it isn’t where I’d like for it to be.”

Arthur nodded a little, being glad that Sofia was at least making progress, even if it was small progress. “Am I allowed to lie with her? Or is it better to leave her some space?”

“You may lay with her, I have no issues with that. Just be mindful of the IV’s she is hooked up to” 

Arthur nodded and placed his hand on Sofia’s cheek, gently rubbing it with his thumb as he looked at her. “Thank you. I’ll call for you if I need anything”

Dr. M nodded, taking the hint that Arthur wanted to be alone with Sofia and walking out of the door. 

Arthur sighed, tears welling in his eyes as he continued to rub Sofia’s cheek. “I shouldn’t have left you alone.. I’m a horrible friend..” he whispered, a few tears falling as he continued to talk. “It was so selfish of me to choose racing over you. I can race next year.. I will race next year, but not this year.. Not when you are sick..”

Silence filled the room after Arthur had realized that all of these things he was saying out loud were irrelevant when the girl he wanted to share them with was passed out in a hospital bed. 

With a sigh, Arthur climbed into the bed with Sofia, his arms wrapping around her gently as he rested his head against hers.

This is where he should have been all along. 

This was where he was meant to be. 

This is where he needs to stay. 

By Sofia’s side as she fights for her life.

tag list: @hammick @Cl16msc47 @majkaftorek @04asheley16 @itsrogersstuff @polyjuiceslytherin @Lizziebitch33 @viktorie16 @Johannalindau @Jamieeboulos @cedricdiggorysimpp @Southernprincess1997 @Myescapefromthislife @F1andbookslover   @ferrarilover16 @my-fangirling-outlet

[bambirosedoll]

@bambi-disciple wrote a really good post on BS and if it really works (which ill link to at the bottom of this post), and while i have been on a sort BS hiatus for a little while, i wanted to write a little about some of what i have noticed for me?

At the time when id first run across it, the bimbo and hypno scene were still very cis, het, and essentialist. Most bimbofication material out there was heavily cishet. some the point of being actively transphobic. Hell, tbh a lot of it still feel pretty antitrans... but anyway...

I started listening to BS in April of 2021. I had heard of it before, and might have even listen to the initial release once or twice a few years before but had been a little reluctant to really dive into it. Id played with hypno before (ok, like lots), but BS seemed like it might want to be more extreme than i was ready for and very cis woman centric.

Skip forward a few years, and it wasnt until i started seeing some of the bimbofication and stepfordization creators making more gender inclusive content that instarted feeling a little more comfortable dipping my toe back in.

I am a trans woman. I went on hormones and socially transitioned almost two decades ago and in the kink scene for over three. I knew how to do my makeup and be cute and all those things, but like, i wasnt keeping up with them.

I was needing that internal drive and encouragement to be prettier. To push myself further. So for me it was less about self acceptance as a girl or submissive and more about wanting to be a better good girl. And i figured i might want to check out if BS could help.

Im one of those folks who would check all three of the boxes described by @bambi-disciple - wanting it to happen, beleiving it could happen, ans being aroused by the idea. Even with those they doesnt always mean automatic success. My mind often "stays awake" in trance, i am very reluctant to give up control (even when i think i want to and even to myself), and just a host of other issues which keep me from.being consistent or internal resistance to asepcts to the file. There have been some changes ive noticed tho:

* im much more open with my partners. Im still reclutant or shy to talk about my stuff, because i dont want them to be uncomfortable. But that might be more me projecting on them.

* wearing making up much more constantly again. Almost every day or at least when going out.

* pink. A lot more pink. And much more comfortable wearing pink. Previously it was all mostly black.

* eating healther. I now eat a lot more healthier. Salad are much more common for me. As well dried fruits and the like.

* much more casual in my writing. More willing to make typos and let them slide. More willing to just use txt speak and abbrevations and such.

* more comfort with posting myself on the interent, including a brief stint of doing porn sadly the latest stunt feom my stalker (hi stalker) wrecked the relationship with the studeo i was working with + i simply dont have the time with having to go into work and taking care of the family and home. Still it was super fun.

Those are the biggest changes ive noticed over the past couple years. I havent listen to BS for a few months rn. Im not really sure what my future plans are with it. I will prob stsrt up again at some point, but like i have a lot of upcoming things whjch require a lot of focus. It's like i have this desire to relapse but im holding back? Idk.

As promised, the post link. I didnt repost because it is really long and not under a cut and i wanted to be nice to my followers feeds. Sry. And if u have read this far you should check it out

[minhosimthings]

Hold Me Without Hurting Me

Chapter 3: Carnations and Cold Winds

A/N: In which an old friend fills your life with flowers again, along a bumpy sided road.

Pairings: Ceo!Jay × Ceo!fem!reader, includes rest of Enhypen and certain other groups

Warnings: angst-fluff, hurt/comfort, friends to enemies to fake dating to enemies to lovers, Mentions of food and alcohol, swearing, nothing much but it's a bumpy story.

Story prompt: If I had a flower for every time I fell in love with you, I would walk in my garden forever. (This story is based on the language of flowers.)

A/N: Third chapter, i know its short but my dumb brain cant do shit rn. the next chapter will be released really quicky since ive already completed it! and then we'll see about the fifth chapter which i'll start if writer's block doesnt magically hit me.

SERIES MASTERLIST

"Ma'am are you quite sure, that you are- ahem- ok enough to go to today's meeting?" Jungwon basically jogged behind you, as you once again made your way down to the meeting hall. You had gone home the night before and ate mint chocolate ice cream while listening to Hozier on full blast. Jungwon didn't have the heart to tell you that he could listen to you crying so he let you be, wondering how on earth you were going to go to the meeting today.

You took a deep breath and looked at the files in Jungwon's hands. Truth be told, you felt terrified to go to the meeting today. But the ship has got to face the storm someday, so you kept a calm expression on your face, choosing to scream internally. "I'm quite alright Jungwon." You walked further to the door, stopping at the handle. "We can do this."

You pressed down on the cold handle on the door, and opened the great oak creation, to a sight which made your heart drop. All of them were already sitting there with only your seat lying empty. "Miss Y/N." The man with the sharp nose and plum brown hair spike first, "You're late." You frowned slightly as you entered the room, making sure to tap your heels noisily on the floor. "I belive I was informed that the timing was 8:30 pm?" You asked, looking at the plum haired man, who furrowed his eyebrows and want back in his chair. He looked very much like a ginger cat in your opinion. "I'm sorry Miss Y/N, but all of us were told to arrive here at 8 am." Mr Hwang said, as you dropped down to your chair next to Sunghoon. "Well If you would like proof that I was wrongly informed, my assistant will gladly provide you with it." You snapped, this time glancing slightly at Jay. He had that smug smile on his face, which you so very disliked, and his hands were twirling the calla lilies which he had taken out of the vase.

"Anyways-" Heeseung spoke up, setting his hands on the table, "-as we were discussing about the recent market changes worldwide, I was wondering whether any of you had noticed why it has been happening?" You promptly took up the file in front of you and cleared your throat. "I had an entire presentation ready, if you are willing to lend an ear, Mr Lee." The corners of Heeseung's mouth twitched slightly to form a gentle smile which you gladly returned as he gave you the gesture to speak up. You got up from your seat and went over to the board, passing Jay and not once even glancing at him.

"And that's why, gentlemen-" you put your pen down finishing with your very detailed presentations that you definetly did not work on for three months, "-I think we should focus more on the aspects of supply and demand rather than entirely focusing on profitable trades." The entire room watched with faces akin to something like awe as they gently applauded, nodding their heads in approval. You held your chin up, proud of yourself, as you returned to your seat, noticing the little thumbs up Sunghoon gave you beneath the table. "Yes amazing presentation Miss Yang but-" you heard Jay's voice say, laced with smuggish tones, "-why shall we, as the heads of leading companies focus on mere tiny details like this when we have people hired to do that?" A murmur of agreement came out from among the other beings in the room. "Mr Park does make a point Miss Yang." The plum haired man spoke out. "Why should I, Choi Minho, the heir and owner of a billion dollar company, do all the economic work when I have people at my feet who can do it for me in a jiffy?" You clenched your jaw at his words, trying to keep your anger in. You could see Jungwon from the corner of your eye, looking at Minho with that face he made when you asked him whether or not he likes mint chocolate ice cream (spoiler alert: he hated it).

"Well Mr Choi-" you smiled at Minho, slightly startling him, "-I must say that you'd be beheaded by now if we were living in 18th century France, with those appalling morals of yours." Minho slammed his hands on the desk, gritting his teeth tightly, and glaring at you. "How dare you, you fucking-"

"Calm down, Mr Choi." Jay's cool voice rang through the room, slightly louder than Minho's, "Miss Yang was just making a joke wasn't she?" Jay glared at you, as he finished his sentence. Not wanting to create conflict with your colleagues, you meekly looked down at your skirt and then looked up at Minho. "I'm sorry Mr Choi. I shouldn't have said that. I hope you'll forgive me?" You tried not to smile, as Minho stopped fuming and mumbled a 'you're forgiven', making you feel as proud as a peacock dancing in the glittery rain

"Ma'am that was awesome." Jungwon panted as you exited the meeting room. "I have such a cool boss." You blushed at his words, only now realising how cold it was, as you felt your skin shiver. "Wanna head up to the bar Jungwon?" You asked him, pressing the button of the elevator. Jungwon shook his head and smiled up at you. "It's actually my mom's birthday today and she expects me to call her at eleven pm to talk." He sighed dramatically, "Guess I need to go be a good Korean son, without a girlfriend." You giggled at his words and were about to get into the elevator when- "Miss Yang, a word please?" Ugh that voice, you thought, why did he have to follow you?

"Not now Mr Park." You stated, turning back to see Jay with his hands in the pockets of his maroon suit, "You see I was just heading up to the bar with my assistant." You hoped the blatant lie wouldn't be caught but- "Y/N, you blink twice whenever you lie." Jay chuckled, "And anyway I just overheard the conversation between you and this young man. Mind if I take you boss for the night?" He asked Jungwon, who turned red and looked at you with widened eyes. You sighed heavily and gave the files in your hands to Jungwon. "Go Jungwon. I can handle myself." You added a smile in order to comfort him a bit which he returned, showing off the dimples on his cheek.

"Now that I have a drink in my hands-" you took your Margherita glass, "-what the fuck do you want?" Jay stuck out his tongue at you and sipped on his champagne. Then after a few moments, he pulled out a bouquet. You rolled your eyes at him. "Really Jongsoeng? A fucking bouquet now?" "Just take it Y/N." He huffed, to which you took the bouquet in your hands, twirling it around. Crocus and Yellow Carnations. "You're asking me why I'm mad at you? And you couldn't have asked that directly like normal human beings?" You scoffed, trying to ignore the amazing fragrance coming from the carnations. Jay motioned for another glass of champagne as he looked you up and down. "What?" You said, glaring at where his eyes were going. "Nothing." Jay raised his hands up in defense, "Just wanted to say that you really did change a lot. The Y/N I knew wouldn't call talking through flowers abnormal human behaviour." "Well just assume the Y/N you knew is dead and I'm her imposter." You took out the umbrella from your Margherita. "Please-" Jay scoffed, "-the Y/N I knew would always suck on her umbrellas like a seven year old child." "That was one time Joengsoeng! One time!" You said in protest, a smile slowly creeping up on your face, as Jay giggled slightly.

"Alright enough with the festivities." Jay said, his eyes now becoming more serious. "Have you thought about the little offer I made?" You spit out the sip of Margherita you had in your mouth and stared ahead with widened eyes, before looking into Jay's eyes, hoping that you were staring into his soul. "No Jay." You huffed and puffed like the big bad wolf, "I'm not doing it. Plus-" you smiled proudly, "Mr Lee has already accepted my offer and we are to begin the actual work when I get back to Seoul."

The smirk on your face was wiped off very quickly however, when Jay burst out laughing. "Heeseung accepted your offer? Oh my yarrow-" he wiped a tear falling from his eye, "Perhaps I forgot to tell you, but I own Heeseung's company. I'm literally his boss and I told him to accept the offer." Your entire body freezed over as you watched the words being formed by Jay's mouth. The cold November breeze outside seemed to reach you even though the heated mess of the bar. This wasn't the Jay you used to know either.

"Now my yarrow-" Jay leaned forward, putting his glass down and adjusting his watch, "If you want Heeseung to keep his offer, and I know you want it because you were basically halfway to your knees begging him for it" he smirked, "You'll have to do me a favour." "Joengsoeng what the fuck." You finally breathed out, having nothing but anger in your veins. "Tch tch princess." Jay clicked his tongue, "Hasn't anyone taught you to clean that mouth out?" You clenched your fists together and finished off the last sip of your Margherita. "What do you want me to do?" You said with a defeated tone. You didn't know whether it was from the pure exhaustion or from the fact that you didn't want to lose you offer, that made you utter those words, which made Jay's smug smile grow ever larger.

"Hmm maybe it'll upset you a bit princess but-" he got up from his seat and patted down his suit nearly, "I want you to be my girlfriend for some weeks."