#i think i might attempt reading a couple of pages and see what my heart tells me to do

[the---hermit]

I am going through a mild reading slump and of course my brain is trying to convince me to reread the lord of the rings

[astrologylunadream]

Their Feelings for You This Month 💌🖤💬 (Pick a card/Tarot love reading)

Hey it's Lunadream♡ It's the first month of 2024, This is your love reading set for the current month! Let's see what's going on with their heart this month.🩷 (This was posted in January, but the reading can be timeless <3) hope you find your message💌

Notice: Only take what resonates because the most important thing is your own judgement!♡ If anything doesn't resonate, don't worry! It's not your message right now <3 (Entertainment purpose only. All rights reserved)

Now, shall we begin~? ^w^ Think of the your person, and pick whichever pile that fits the energy you're feeling~🌸🖤

Pile 1👥️

Pile 2🥈

Pile 3💒

Pile 4🎱

Take your time and choose carefully with the heart~♡

On to the readings —> 🖤

Pile 1👥️

Sign energy: Attempt, Universe, Addiction, Mental, Synchrony, Libra, Vertex, Lilith, Neptune, Capricorn,🧽🍰😘🎤

👤Your person's energy: Okay there is some soulmate energy in this pile, This is someone with a dreamy mind and omg you guys think so much alike🫢💭 Prominent Libra, Pisces, or Capricorn placements. I feel like this person prefers to have control over their love life or their situations regarding relationships. I'm hearing that they really want to be on the same page as their partner, working together and cooperating in harmony. You may daydream of this person often, or you two could be thinking of eachother at the same times.💓 Your person is very dedicated to their partnerships, they work hard to mantain them. You may feel obsessed with this person, for some of you pile 1's this person is your addiction. You could be addicted to the sound of their voice👄🖤 Some of you this person drives you crazy, good or bad. I'm getting that you two have a dark infatuation with eachother, your shadow sides could be really attracting eachother. It could feel wrong in some way, but also really good. The universe recognizes you two as a couple, a pair of some sort. It is a fated connection, for some of my pile 1's it's twin flame or soulmates. I feel like you or them morph into thinking like the other person, you might try to copy them ot vice versa (It's so sweet). This person has a very attractive and serious energy, they treat love like a full time job I'm hearing.

🩷Their feelings for you: True feelings, True intentions, Less, Watch your back, White, North node, Saturn, Water, Leo, 2nd house,🐅⚔️📆😂 Wow there is a lot of honest and straightforward answering for their feelings towards my pile 1's. I'm seeing that your person's decisions are set and in motions right now, they aren't shifting the path they have chosen for this connection. They have a lot of genuine feelings for you guys, like honest love for you they aren't faking it.🥺 But you know what, your person might be messing themselves up with this one. They could be prone to telling white lies because they think it's for the better of the future, so they're definitely guarding their romantic feelings from my pile 2's. They could be in a tiger energy, fiercely on edge and keeping out anyone who makes them show their vulnerable or loving side. Now can I just say this person has big intentions with you guys, they want a future with you. Omg and they're so attracted to you, especially your back and shoulders.🙊💞 But they're hiding this pretty well right now I'm hearing, their attraction to you might be scaring them. They're trying to give less and restrict themselves from you, It may even be laughable to you as you watch them try so hard this month to hide their feelings. Lol it's so obvious, I can't see this going on for long either not any more than a month. Because they honestly can't hide their true love for you guys, it will be torture if they keep going like that😢❤️ I feel like they just now realized what love can do to them and it makes them so confused like "So this is love? I want my money back!" Lol that's them😂 They're trying to hit a reset button on these feelings for my pile 1's but I don't see this working for them, once they make up their mind they will finally admit how much they want this.💞

💌Messages from your person: I hope you feel better, Don't get it twisted, I should stop hiding my feelings, I've been so busy, I went to far, I had it coming, Let's have fun, I'm holding back (Omg they're really admitting it🥹) Extra cards: Spoil, Princess, Warm, Imagination, Waist (Ohh my pile 1's they want to spoil you so badly😫👑💋💋💋 I'll let you put together the rest😏)

Thank you my pile 1's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!♡

I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 1 with the shadow couple emoji~👥️ Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading🖤

Pile 2🥈

Sign energy: Miss, Technology, June, Mental, Playful, Fire, Cancer, 2nd house, 11th house, 5th house,🖌🎰🙋‍♂️💭

👤Your person's energy: So this is someone you had some huge feelings for, definitely a no contact situation right now. You really miss this person, I feel like you guys got separated somehow🥺 Cancer, Taurus, Aquarius and Leo placements are likely, Fire placements. They're a caring and fun individual, omg they are so creative and sweet. Smart too. My pile 2's person thinks a lot, they may play games a lot or used to. This could be a friend or someone you dated for a short amount of time or there was just a sudden flame that burnt out very quickly.🕯💔 My pile 2's may be holding on to the relationship somehow, most likely through technology or social media. I feel like you guys still think of this person often, and when you're like scrolling through your phone some random thought of them pops into your head.💭🫢 Could be an artist or enjoy drawing. June is a significant time for this relationship, it could be when something will happen or something that did. Maybe you guys met in June or lost contact in that month. They're a social and curious person, you may think of their voice or remember it often. The way they smile is so sweet, and they have a lot of different talents. A bright and uplifting person.✨️

🩷Their feelings for you: On, Scratch, Illusion, Prove, Destiny, Juno, Jupiter, Taurus, Gemini, 3rd house,💍😔🤩😓 Omg this is so sad. They want to marry you straight UP😭 And they wanna show you that it's not just a silly relationship between you two, they see you as their other half.. their destiny.💘 My pile 2's your person feels like they have to talk to you, it's so important to them. They want to prove their feelings to you, and show you their heart. They want to unveil the illusive surface of the relationship and have you see that it's not what you think at all, they're actually really patient and set on being with you for a long time my pile 2's.🤧💌 They want to talk about marriage, and commiting to you. This worries them so much, because they think you won't want it. They have a big picture of the future with you, it lights them up inside but it also makes them feel already so disappointed expecting that it won't happen. They think of you very often, sometimes they're optimistic about you and other times they're hopeless. You mean so much to them, all they want to to put that ring on your finger!!💍😩💗 Literally so many thoughts of marrying you, they want to have you be theirs for good.♡

💌Messages from your person: Open your heart, I'm desperate for your touch, You're my addiction, I can't tell, I won't tell anyone (Ohh they're taking that to the grave🫢💞) Extra cards: Devotion, Offer, Siblings, Practice, Peace (You guys they wish they could show you how much you mean to them and show their devotion to you💍)

Thank you my pile 2's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!♡

I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 2 with the (totally an ornament) metal emoji~🥈 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading🖤

Pile 3💒

Sign energy: Crush, Suffer, Balence, Let go, Stay, 6th house, Gemini, Mercury, Taurus, Neptune, 💀🤹‍♂️🦄👈

👤Your person's energy: This person is definitely a romantic interest for my pile 3's💗 Virgo, Gemini, Taurus and Pisces, lots of Mercurial influence in your persons chart perhaps. A lot of my pile 3's have a crush on this person. You may daydream of this person often, could be a regular thing for you guys💭 Your person is more quick witted and a sharp thinker, they think a lot. But I feel like it is a burden to them sometimes, like they think too much. For some of you this person may have lost a sibling or grown apart from them. Omg they are really juggling a lot right now, I'm hearing that they multitask way to much.🤯 They have a lot on their mind a once. Your person probably has headaches a lot or they're more prone to it. This person could be someone you wish you could keep, like a valuable possession you don't want to give up. I'm hearing you want to stay with this person, or they may wish to stay with you but also feel the need to let go. They want to feel at ease and seek balence in their mind, my pile 3's your person wants some peace and quiet for once!😅 They want to let go of all the thoughts they have and calm down.

🩷Their feelings for you: Innovation, Bad, College, Night, Zoo, Libra, South node, Jupiter, Uranus, Juno,💜🧠🚷💀 Okay so your person may be weary or trying to avoid you for some reason right now, definitely romantic tension from you guys.🫣 One or both of you may be in college or that could be a significant change in their feelings. The skull emoji has popped out twice so that's interesting, maybe this is a connection you thought you cut off or they did and it came back from the grave. They definitely don't feel good about you my pile 3's, you're making their head spin! I feel like they're thinking of a wild night with you guys it's so strange, like they might be having some really crazy thoughts of you and it's stressing them out further.😬🌋 You are stuck in this person's head, they see you as a long term partner in their eyes. But this also freaks them out so they like wanna believe you're bad for them.🙉 Wow your person definitely has an imagination about you, they try to convince themselves they don't want you in their life. You may have done something in the past that left a mark on them, or perhaps something they are judging you off of. They want you but don't want you at the same time. Very indecisive right now. But my pile 3's they low key wanna marry you wtf, then all of the sudden you're the devil reincarnated in their head oml😭🫣 They are mentally obsessed with you though, lol idk if it's even their fault😂 Pile 3 this person is so into you that they're having to convince themselves they aren't🥵❤️

💌Messages from your person: Let me in, You make me lovesick, If it's what you want, Just us two, Just talk to me, Please don't be sad, I want to avoid you, You make me wild (It's so true, literally exact😭❤️‍🔥) Extra cards: Audience, Price, Ring, Mars, Rise (Some dominating energy coming through🫣)

Thank you my pile 3's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!♡

I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 3 with the wedding church emoji~💒 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading🖤

Pile 4🎱

Sign energy: Past, Performance, Toy, Guardian, Shine, Vertex, Sagittarius, 3rd house, Mars, Sun,💫💚🕊👥️

👤Your person's energy: This person is more dominant to my pile 4's. You may have a set image of them being amazing or well recognized. Sagittarius, Gemini, Aries, Scorpio and Leo placements😘 Ohh now the 8 ball if a perfect symbol for this pile's energy since the number is connected to Scorpio, some of you may have picked up on that when choosing this pile. Your person is are very assertive especially verbally, dominant in most conversations I'm hearing. They probably have a really attractive voice, for some of you their voice is more masculine or rough. Aww I feel like this person is sort of like a big brother to you guys, or that's the dynamic I'm seeing with you two🥹💞 They may protect you or just their very presence makes you feel this way. Omg they could tease you? Like they enjoy playing around with you in conversations, and maybe they say something that makes you blush and they tease you for it😳 I can totally see that happening between you guys. They are the type to make an entrance, especially when delivering a message or telling a story. I feel like they converse with a lot of people, everyone views them as fun and unpredictable.✨️ They may get in arguments easily though, as they are very straightforward in communicating. Ngl I feel like dirty talk is their specialty but I'll leave it there🤫 They gain attention and praise effortlessly, they probably don't even want it. Also I'm just getting physically they are just, wow, okay??😂

🩷Their feelings for you: Submissive, Chains, Longevity, Fashion, Intimacy, Juno, Libra, Air, Aries, Venus,🎰🤗🐏🦉 Oh god.. my pile 4's this just got intense.🥲 I'm going to try and keep it as light as possible. So yeah, they want you. Definitely very into you my pile 4's, the way you dress is very attractive to them. They find you very pretty and cute, they really want to see you in a wedding dress I'm hearing. (Yes marriage definitely💍🫠) There is a LOT they want from you guys, I don't know where to start honestly. This person really wants intimacy with you, they want physical interaction with you. I feel like they won't take their hands off you though!😫🥵 They see you as someone very delicate and feminine, someone they can surprise I'm hearing😭 Your person wants to dominate you, I mean take you OVER. You bring out a monster in them ngl, the things they want with you..😰 They like being the more experienced one with you, I'm leaving that there. They know a lot about you too, probably everything you like. They want to be aggressive with you, so they can gain dominance over you completely. Because they love the idea of you submitting to them, so they may purposely start little arguments to make you nervous. But it's really because they want to kiss you when you're caught off guard💋 My pile 4's your person has some INTENSE feelings for you🫣 They like being unpredictable with you, the rest is very 🔞 since this isn't that type of reading I'll let some of my pile 4's put the rest together :'D

💌Messages from your person: You know better than this, You have no boundaries with me, Are you for real? Like you would know, Don't wait for me, We don't need boundaries (Oh my😳) Extra cards: Want, Unhealthy, Present, Beach, Fine

Thank you my pile 4's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!♡

I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 4 with the 8 ball emoji~🎱 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading🖤

Wanna see more readings like this? Check out my tumblr for accurate readings for you!💗🌊🌸

Thanks for reading! \(*^w^)/💌 -Lunadream <3

[wyrmyblog]

Wyrmy's greatest hits Masterpost

Hey all! I figured I would make a little post for my blog giving a run-down of the most popular fics I've written, in case anyone came to my page and wanted to check these out. Happy reading!

Vignettes

An established relationship human AU fic made up of single chapter one-shots, not in any particular order, but all in one continuity. There are a couple of chapters rated E but most are rated T and all are pretty fluffy. It's part of a larger series which might give needed context for certain things, but mostly each chapter can stand on its own. The fic and the series on the whole are based around the experiences of a human Aziraphale who is autistic and a survivor of an abusive family. Rated E, 19k, 17 chapters and counting.

2. I Attempt from Love's Sickness to Fly (in Vain)

A standalone human au fic about Az and Crow as two university music students collaborating musically and falling in love. Aziraphale is, once again, autistic and from an unhappy home. (yeah... it's a pattern, what can I say). This fic is probably not my best work, because I basically just gave up on editing it part-way through when I got frustrated with the quality of the writing (it's one of the first things I ever wrote for the fandom and I was coming back to it after years away) despite that, I think it's very sweet and has some great moments, as well as lots of juicy angst moments, so if that sounds interesting I still recommend at least checking it out. Rated E, 22k, 16 chapters

3. In Silence Born

In the same universe as Vignetttes, this fic comprises three fairly fluffy established relationship PWP oneshots. The fic is based around exploring the idea of a person who is non-speaking during sex and how that would work practically. Rated E, 3k, 3 chapters

4. The Wax is Melting (I Need to See Under)

Canonverse fic, standalone but added to a collection of thematically similar canonverse stories, exploring the theory that Aziraphale was demoted from Cherub to Principality at some point before canon, and his reaction to the trauma of s1. Rated T, 3k, 1 chapter

5. Suck it and See

The getting-together fic of my Untitled Human AU, the series that both Vignettes and In Silence Born belong to. Features a meet-cute, awkward sex, and lots of feels. It's a good jumping-on point for the series, as it explains some of the things that come up in the two prequel fics, as well as things mentioned in the rest of the series. Rated E, 7k, 3 chapters

6. O That I on Wings could Rise

A canon-verse fic in same series, and much the same vein as The Wax is Melting. This fic explores the difficulties faced by an Azirphale who is now in a relationship for the first time in his life, traumatized by Heaven, and struggling with the idea that he might have Needs. lots of angst with a fluffy ending. Rated M, 5k, 2 chapters

7. Angels ever Bright and Fair

The first fic I ever published in the Untitled Human AU, before I had everything about it figured out entirely. Aziraphale has an uncomfortable encounter with a family member and Crowley supports him afterwards. Rated T, 2k, 1 chapter

8. I Call my Baby My Sugar

A standalone human AU fic where Aziraphale is a sugar baby and Crowley is his much younger sugar daddy. This is a fic I have a slightly odd relationship to and honestly don't feel great about how I handled the subject. But here it is, anyway. Rated E, 9k, 6 chapters

9. Turnaround

Another fic in the Untitled Human AU series, this one showing Aziraphale having a calm meditative moment of looking back on a past negative relationship and forward to a more positive one with Crowley. Rated G, 1k, 1 chapter

10. Not Unsaid

A gentle, canon verse fic exploring the theme of acts of service and non verbal ways of showing love through the ages. One of the fics I am most proud of as a writer. Rated T, 2k, 1 chapter

And Special mention.... Night and Day

My most ambitious fic and also (at the moment at least) dearest to my heart. It's an angst-heavy melodrama Human AU fic about an Aziraphale who grows up trapped in a cult that not only worms its way into his mind in insidious ways, but also controls and restricts his life to a horrifying degree. For me, this fic is the ultimate expression of "write the fic you want to read." Mind the tags, but I hope you enjoy. Rated E, 39k, 7 chapters

[justmochi]

lost in solitude

pairing :: mira ft her father

word count :: 2.1k

synopsis :: mira is coping with her breakup and attempts to reconnect with the world.

time :: 2019

warnings :: angst

a/n :: my first oc without any daddy issue so i had to write this to comfort myself. dedicating this one to the people with daddy issues ♡

taglist :: @cafemilk-tea @cixrosie @moonlight-additions @cosmicwintr @astraw-astro @succulentmom @kimhyejin3108 @enhacolor @alixnsuperstxr @hybesunstone @itzy-eve @choihaneul @strmiu @angie-x3 @Kaitieskidmore1 @evaalopezzzz

The first week was terrible. It was the worst she’s slept in her entire life. The amount of fatigue and sadness she felt really weighed her down. She couldn't do the things that were normally a part of her routine.

She tried sitting down at her desk to enter a journal entry, only to sit down and stare at the blank page for minutes before getting back into her bed and falling asleep. She thought it would help to just write in her bed, but her pen never came in contact with the paper.

She thought reading might get her mind off of things. False. She looked at a book and immediately thought of him. She’d see a broken spine and think of him. She saw him in everything. Even more when skimming the titles on her bookshelf and stumbling upon the ones he had picked out for her.

Her company had announced she had caught a bug going around to take time off to rest and receive treatment. Nobody knew, except for her members, that she was going through the greatest heartbreak in her entire life and no doctor could mend her broken heart.

When the second week came around, she could finally sleep. Only because she tired herself out so much that she could not keep going without three straight days of sleeping. The girls were so worried about her, only seeing her come out of her bedroom to go to the bathroom and right back.

Jiu squeezed herself into the room when she was sleeping, refilling her water bottle and slipping snacks onto her desk in case she had any desire to eat. The leader would stay in there for a couple of minutes, heart aching when seeing how thin Mira had gotten. Her cheeks were so hollow, her skin so pale, her lips so chapped. 

Mira’s father kept in touch with Handong. It was unlike her to go days without messaging her dad so her member kept him in the loop.

Her father liked Wonwoo for having not met him before. Mira talked about him a lot and they truly seemed happy together. He wanted nothing more for his daughter. So when Handong told him, he was livid and offered to catch the first flight out of China to see Mira and put Wonwoo in his place in the process. Handong quickly shut him down and relayed everything that happened. Maybe he wouldn’t kill Wonwoo, but he needed to be there for his daughter. She reassured him it was not what Mira would want him to do so he stayed put while her member contacted him daily about her condition.

The ghosting on Mira’s part was going to be the death of Wonwoo. He tried to give her space w but was ultimately worried sick about her. As much as it hurt him to ask, he swallowed his pride and messaged Handong to check on Mira, and see how she was doing. He did this knowing that Handong might hate his guts as well, but her absence was not something he was prepared for. To his surprise, along with lots of scolding and unkind remarks, Handong provided him with all he needed to know. She was hurting. She slept for two hours at most in one week. Her routine was all messed up. She was on a break from scheduled promotions. She was exhausted. Once the first week passed, she was finally sleeping, but entire days of her life were gone. She was trying to hold her heart together from completely collapsing. That this was the result of his actions and that it would be hard for her members to forgive him for this. But she would be okay. She would pull through with time. She was fragile, but strong nonetheless.

Even after Handong was straightforward and, at times, brutally honest with him, she couldn't bring herself to hate him for his actions. Surprisingly, she found herself respecting him more than any other man could have earned. So, she couldn't hate him for that.

And then the third week arrived. She stayed up longer hours, managed to make herself presentable, and even sat down and wrote the longest journal entry to make up for the weeks she didn’t pick it up. She was slowly getting her usual self back. She was among the living again and she hated laying around feeling sorry for herself. But she hated that even more. She hated herself for letting their breakup tear her apart like this. She hated the way she immobilized herself. She suspended herself for two weeks while the world around her kept on turning. It’s not what she would have wanted for anyone. It’s especially not what he would have wanted either.

Her first time outside in two weeks was so refreshing, that she almost forgot why she didn’t leave her bedroom. The sun was out and she could practically feel her skin soaking up the vitamin D. The ambiance of birds, wind blowing, and distant traffic added to the experience. The only problem that still weighed on her chest was finally picking up her phone.

Mira took a walk around the neighborhood to organize her thoughts. She dreaded seeing everything she missed during her time of absence. But it was something she had to face sooner or later.

When she arrived back at the dorms, she went straight to the kitchen. She picked some strawberries out of their fridge and took them back to her room to eat. She cracked her window open a bit, letting some fresh air in and sitting at her desk.

She brought her legs to her chest, holding them tight so they didn’t fall off the chair, and snacked on a few strawberries before picking up her phone. It felt like she hadn’t seen an electronic device in forever. It was foreign material for her. She would’ve thought she had gotten a new phone if not for her lock screen. She had to change her lock screen soon, staring at the picture of the black cat she and Wonwoo spotted when on a date at a botanical garden.

When she saw how many messages and calls she missed, she was so overwhelmed. Most of them were from her father, and she felt a strong urge to slap herself for making him worry. The missed calls were in the double digits, her texts in the hundreds. Surely her father didn’t text her that many times. Her heart sank when she saw the names of all her missed texts. Her dad, Wonwoo, her manager, their choreographer, both of DREAMCATCHER’s producers, Dami, Siyeon, and a few of their stylists and makeup artists. If she didn’t feel terrible before, she definitely feels it now.

She opened her father's messages first, tears pooling in her eyes when scrolling through all his messages. He said that Handong told him everything and his texts lessened over the last week. Instead of asking if she was okay and needed him to fly out, he sent her pictures from her childhood and high school years. Most of the pictures were of him and her, some with Handong included too.

She wiped her eyes, quickly tapping on the button and calling her father. She hoped he wasn’t busy. She let the line ring until she heard a click.

“Xinyi?” He sounded scared but relieved to finally hear from her. She threw her head back, shutting her eyes to keep her tears at bay.

“Hi, bàba.”

“You’re okay, right? Are you feeling better? Do you need me to get on the next plane–“

“No!” She didn’t mean to raise her voice at him. “No– I’m okay. It’s fine. I’m really sorry.”

“Why are you apologizing? I don’t mind coming.”

“No, I mean you’re always welcome to come. I’m just sorry that I haven’t been present. I didn’t mean to make you worry. I just–“ She tries to keep her voice even but to no avail. She takes a few deep breaths before speaking again. “I just–“

She pauses again, covering her eyes with the back of her hand.

“It’s okay, honey. I know. I know.” He staggers on the line, making Mira want to cry more. She can’t believe she would ever hurt him like this.

“I’m sorry. To you, the girls, everybody. I didn’t mean to be selfish–“

“You’re not selfish, Xinyi. Listen to me.” He was soft when comforting others, but when she heard the familiar sternness in his voice he would use when he had to get his point across, she knew it was in her best interest to listen in. “You are not selfish. You do not have a single selfish bone in your body. You’ve always been like this. You– You get lost sometimes and then after a while you find yourself again.

“You’re so smart. So kind. You are a gift and a blessing in my life. You may not give yourself enough credit for it, but you are so so good. You, my Xinyi, are my greatest accomplishment in life. You always will be.”

She chokes out a sob, covering her mouth with her palm as her body shakes.

“Do you understand me, Xinyi? You’re just going through a hard time right now and it will pass. You’re gonna get through this, okay?”

The lump in her throat keeps her from pushing out words, instead, she hums into the phone while nodding her head. Right now would be a perfect time to go in for one of her dad's hugs.

Moments pass as Mira collects herself and it’s not as awkward as it would be for most people. She and her father understood this about each other. They understood it more than words could ever compare amount to.

“Did you eat today?” He clears his throat before speaking.

“Mhm. A couple bites.” She says softly. She doesn’t feel the urge to start bawling after every word comes rolling out of her mouth.

He sighs. She can just imagine him rubbing his eyes with his head tipping back. “That’s good. That’s very good. That’s something. Just don’t binge. Ease yourself into it so you don’t make yourself sick.”

“I know.” She smiles to herself, rubbing the sleeve of her shirt across her pants.

“Have you– you know… talked to him?”

He knows the wounds are still fresh. She knows she can’t avoid him any longer if she still wants to keep him in her life. “No… not yet.”

“Maybe it’s time. I’m sure it’s been agonizing for him as well. Especially with your absence.” He just sounds so righteous, so wise.

“Do you think he hates me?” 

“Come on, Xinyi. Who could hate you? Let alone dislike you. That would make them a psychopath.”

She tries to hold back her laugh, but it’s better for her to just let it out for her father to hear. Mira pats her eyes dry with her sleeve, sniffling with a smile on her face. Something she didn’t have before the phone call.

“Thank you, bàba. I love you.”

“I love you more, Xinyi. You are the most precious thing to me. You know I don’t care to come–”

“It’s fine. I’m okay. I have schedules to get back to soon either way. I love you.”

The line goes quiet for another second, waiting for him to say it back or pull something noble out of his brain. “Don’t keep him waiting too long, my dear. I’m sure he’s waiting for you to come around.”

Mira makes a kissing noise into the phone, knowing if they kept this going she would get nothing done. She would only prolong Wonwoo’s torture.

It took her a while to work up the courage to press his call button. She rehearsed what she would say, what she hoped he would say, even what he might say if he was just completely done and wanted nothing to do with her. That thought made her sick to her stomach. She kept hovering until she couldn’t. She didn’t realize her finger had actually pressed the call button, she was just rehearsing it. She pressed her phone to her ear with shaky hands, closing her eyes and taking her thumbnail into her mouth.

It rang and rang until it stopped. She looked at her phone, tears blurring her vision once she realized he never picked up. She tossed her phone onto her desk, not realizing how hard she threw it. She began to sob, her fingers brushing through her hair and stopping at the crown of her head.

She tried to be quiet, but the more she got worked up, the more her breaths became erratic and she was gasping for air. There was no way to conceal her cries. And maybe it was a cry for help on her part, in which case she would be successful because Siyeon had pushed the bedroom door open. It was the most sound any of the girls had heard come out of Mira’s room in weeks. And it wasn’t a pleasant sound.

[averywiseanimatedcat]

“I loved him”

Word count: 2820

Rating: G

Summary: Post S2. Aziraphale is getting worried because he hasn’t been able to locate Crowley ever since their fight. He comes back to the bookshop to pick up some reading material. He ends up having an unexpected heart to heart with Maggie.

Tags: Angst. Angst again. Maggie and Aziraphale friendship. Confessions.

Author notes: If you’re on TikTok you might have heard the audio from Einstein and Eddington being used in Aziracrow edits. YouTube clip bellow if you haven’t heard it yet. I always see I being used as if Crowley were saying it, but what I’d Aziraphale did? That’s this one shot. If I have to live with that idea then you do to.

“Mr Fell!”

A voice called out, Aziraphale startled and dropped the keys to his bookshop onto the steps. He looked around, Maggie was trotting down the sidewalk towards him.

“Maggie my dear…”

He said as she reached him.

“Mr Fell! Gosh it’s been ages. We were beginning to think you’d sold the bookshop and left?”

She said breathlessly. Aziraphale smiled politely, bending down to pick up his keys.

“Oh no, still very much the owner of this bookshop.”

Aziraphale said, his eyes darting around the street behind her. He hoped that no one else had spotted him. He didn’t really want to get dragged into to many pleasantries. He wasn’t suppose to be down here for too long, but he’d lied and said he needed a couple of books from his shop. Really he was just desperate for something to read that wasn’t a memo. He also wanted to poke around and see if he could find any sign of Crowley, and Maggie might be able to help him with that.

“Oh I’m glad, I’d be devastated if we lost you as a landlord.”

Maggie replied brightly. Aziraphale brushed past the compliment and asked

“Would you like to come in?”

“Oh…I’m not intruding am I?”

She said, blinking at him

“Not at all dear.”

The angel unlocked the door and stepped inside. He knew returning to the bookshop might be upsetting, but he wasn’t quite prepared for the heaviness that fell onto his shoulders as he crossed the threshold. The bookshop still looked exactly how it did that day, not a single thing had been moved. The smell of ancient pages and dust swept through his lungs as he inhaled, bringing with it a wave of memories that stung like alcohol down the throat. A terrible, sinking feeling pressed on his chest uncomfortably.

He looked down at his feet. The rug by the front door was still creased a little where the demons boots had wrinkled it when he’d stormed out a few weeks prior. Aziraphale always had to adjust things in the shop whenever Crowley had been around. The demon had a rather unconcerned way of moving through space that resulted in things being knocked out of place all the time. He had the compulsion to straighten the rug, but couldn’t quite bring himself to do it.

“Where’s that girl who’s always here now?”

Maggie asked, startling the angel. He’d completely forgotten she was there.

“Oh, Muriel? She’s…well, at head office. Tea?”

Aziraphale said, pulling himself together and gesturing for Maggie to take a seat on the couch. He’d purposefully come down when he knew Muriel would be up in Heaven for her monthly debriefing. She was charming, but he really wasn’t in the mood for a creature so bright and bubbly right now.

“Oh yes…tea would be lovely.”

Maggie replied, smiling politely as she sat down. Aziraphale attempted to smile back and disappeared into the back room to miracle some tea. Maggie was eyeing the various things strewn on Azirpaphales desk when he returned with the tray and teacups. He handed her one full of piping hot tea and took a seat in his arm chair next to his desk. He avoided looking over where his dairy sat atop a stack of books he’d been organising the day before he’d left. He knew exactly what was in the last pages he’d filled out, and he didn’t want to read them.

“So, Nina and I haven’t seen you or Mr Crowley for weeks? Did you go away on holiday or something?”

Maggie asked. The mention of Crowleys name sent a solid something clanging into the angels stomach somewhere near his navel. The answer to his unasked question of if she’d seen the demon was having a similar effect.

“No…I uh….started a new job.”

He said vaguely, sipping on his tea to cover up his disappointment.

“Oh? What’s the job?”

She asked

“Um, management I guess you could call it.”

Azirphale replied, his eyes kept wandering around the desk and out the window. His enthusiasm for this interaction had left quite suddenly.

“Oh. That’s exciting. I guess it must be very important for you to leave your bookshop.

Maggie said

“Oh yes, very important.”

Aziraphale replied distractedly, now acutely aware of Crowleys wide brimmed hat from the 1940’s on the coat hanger only metres from him. He hardly noticed when Maggie fell silent for a long moment.

“Forgive me if I’m overstepping….but you seem a little…distracted Mr Fell. Not yourself I mean. Is everything alright?”

Aziraphales eyes darted over to meet hers. The genuine concern in them touched the angel, bless her heart, he thought, a human worried about an angel.

“Oh yes. Just fine, I think I’m just a little tired. Not used to so much responsibility.”

He cobbled together, but even he knew he sounded unconvincing.

“Right…so how come that funny girl is looking after your bookshop and not Mr Crowley? I haven’t seen him for ages either.”

Maggie’s eyes were searching Aziraphales in a calculated, but kind way.

“Yes I was going to ask you about that….has no one seen him?”

He was trying very hard to sound casual. But the question came out in a strained, high pitch kind of way. Maggie’s eyes narrowed

“No….he hasn’t been back here, not that Nina or I have seen. Why?”

Maggies eyes darkened with confusion.

“Oh no reason.”

He replied quickly. There was a pause before Maggie asked

“Do you like your new job?”

Aziraphale had to think quite hard about how to answer this.

“I think the more appropriate question would be, do I think I’m making a difference? And yes I think I am.”

Aziraphales attempt to steer the conversation away from his feelings failed miserably, because Maggie put her cup down quite pointedly and sat forward onto the edge of her seat before saying

“Ok…I’m going to stop beating around the bush. I know somethings wrong. The last thing Nina saw was Mr Crowley storming out of your bookshop and you going off with a strange man. There’s a weird girl who thinks she’s a police officer in charge of your shop. Then after a month you turn up here alone. I come and say hello and you looked at me like I’d just murdered your mother. You’re still looking at me like that actually. What’s going on Mr Fell?”

Aziraphale hid his expression behind a sip of tea

“Nothing.”

He lied

“Mr Fell please be honest with me….I…Well Nina and I, we came over to see Mr Crowley after all that weird stuff happened and told him he should talk to you. If you had a fight or something please tell me I’ve been wondering for weeks and I couldn’t help but feel like it might be our fault.”

She gushed

“You what?”

Aziraphale asked, blinking at her

“Oh I feel terrible….we shouldn’t have said anything it was just…we thought all you two needed was to talk and…”

She rambled

“No dear, that’s not what we fought about.”

Aziraphale interrupted, realising his admission to late

“So something did happen?

She cried

“Oh dear…”

Aziraphale said, exasperated. He lent back in his chair and sighed. Maggie shrunk back into the couch.

“I’m sorry Mr Fell, I’m being pushy. It’s not my business. We were just worried we’d done something wrong.”

Maggie explained a little more calmly. Azirpahale considered her for a bit, she was a sweet, genuine soul. She had no idea really, about the magnitude of it all.

“Well, I’ll just say that it wasn’t your or Nina’s fault.”

Aziraphale said simply.

“Ok, thank you…but that still doesn’t make me feel better because you look miserable.”

Maggie said, gesturing vaguely at him

“Thanks.”

Azirpahale replied irritably

“Sorry. I didn’t mean it like that, I mean I can tell you’re upset. Do you want to talk about it?”

She asked. Aziraphale stared down into his tea, he hadn’t said a word to anyone about what happened. He’d kept it firmly locked away somewhere deep in his chest, never daring to let anyone see even a hint of his despair. Not that anyone in Heaven would care, they’d think he was daft for being upset that a demon had left him. Good riddance they’d say, he’ll be burnt up in hellfire after the second coming anyway they’d say. Aziraphale couldn’t in a million years say what he really wanted to.

“I can’t tell anyone.”

He whispered in his teacup, partially to himself. The quiver in his own voice startled him. He’d been holding in these…thoughts for months. They’d appeared seemingly out of nowhere. At first it was just a little soft feeling like birds fluttering in his chest. Then they grew into a yawning ache. Then a desperate desire to say something, and he had been going to. Aziraphale had to admit that he’d been selfish, the ball wasn’t entirely for Maggie and Nina. The Angel had planned it all out, they’d dance, drink and laugh. Then he’d take him out to dinner or breakfast or a midnight breakfast. And he’d tell him. But that entire plan had all come crashing down the second Aziraphale opened his mouth and told Crowley about the Metatrons offer. Ever since, the words he’d been wanting to say had been unceremoniously shoved down and ignored.

Maggie was eyeing him quite intensely now.

“Why not? Can you not talk to your new work colleagues? Friends?”

She suggested

“I can’t I’d…I’d get us both into trouble.”

He explained, placing his teacup carefully up onto his desk. His fingers were shaking a little.

“Well…you can tell me? Nothings going to happen from telling me.”

She reached out and placed a reassuring touch to the angels knee. The so very human attempt at comfort felt like using one of those silly little spray bottles full of water on a house fire. But the gentleness in her voice, the silence in the bookshop and the memories all collided together and Aziraphale could hold it in no longer. They had to come out, these terrible words that had plagued his every waking thought.

“I loved him…”

A quivering sob fell from the angels mouth as he got the last word out. He didn’t even know he could make that kind of noise.

“I know.”

Maggie cooed, placing both hands on his shoulders and squeezing them gently

“I loved him so much…”

The angels lungs heaved with the weight of it all. The locked door in his chest bursting open and releasing a torrent that crashed over him like waves onto the rocky shore. He gasped for air as tears started to pour down his cheeks. Maggie stood up and pulled him into a warm embrace. He cried into her arms, letting the ocean of everything he’d held in smash into his being over and over again until he felt raw and exhausted. Maggie sat on the arm of the chair and held him tightly. She made little noises shushing noises sometimes and rubbed his back soothingly as the flood went on. Aziraphale had never been held like this before. Somehow, he felt her arms would protect him for this time where he was so open and vulnerable. Although he did wish the arms were someone else’s.

The waves calmed after sometime and Maggie let go, returning to the couch. Aziraphale felt extremely embarrassed when he regained his composure.

“Oh dear…I invited you in for tea and now I’m here blubbering like a child.”

He sniffed, producing a napkin from his pocket to dry his eyes.

“Don’t you dare apologise! We’re friends, you forgave me months of rent the least I can do is listen when you’re upset.”

Maggie insisted

“But there’s nothing you can do.”

The angel replied darkly

“Sometimes just talking helps. It’s not healthy keeping these things bottled up.”

Aziraphale thought about this for a bit, there was no harm in confiding in Maggie he thought. And maybe she was right, he might feel better after airing it all out.

“It’s just…I did this all for him, I took this job because I thought we could be together. He was suppose to come with me, I thought it was a perfect opportunity for us. But…well he didn’t agree. Then we had this big fight…now I don’t know if I’ll ever see him again.”

Aziraphale rambled, his eyes automatically wandering out to the spot on the roadside where he’d last seen the Bentley parked with Crowley waiting outside.

“Why didn’t he want to go with you?”

Maggie asked.

“It’s difficult to explain…”

Aziraphale started

“To a human?”

Maggie guessed, Aziraphale nodded

“Well, did you tell him how you felt?”

Maggie asked

“I tried to. I don’t think I did a very good job though…”

He trailed off, Maggie looked thoughtful

“Does he feel the same?”

Aziraphale opened his mouth to speak, and paused, looking down at the patterned carpet

“I don’t know if he’d call it love…he didn’t use as many words.”

Aziraphale mumbled

“But he wanted you to be together, as a couple?”

She asked, Aziraphale nodded

“Well, you still love him…and if you two have known each other as long as you said you have, then he might come back?”

She said reassuringly

“I’m not sure, he’s very angry with me”

Aziraphale said, still staring at the carpet.

“You don’t know that he is still angry. He might just be hurting, like you.”

Maggie offered

“Then why hasn’t he reached out to me? He must know I’m worried!”

Aziraphale cried, his tears threatening to make an appearance again.

“Hurt and angry people don’t usually do rational things.”

Maggie said firmly. Aziraphale was suddenly bombarded with the memory of the kiss. It all started to fall into place in his mind. Perhaps the kiss was Crowleys way of throwing all the chips onto the table in one go. It was, perhaps, an irrational act by someone who didn’t know what else to say. Crowley always was rubbish with words that had anything to do with feelings.

“Perhaps you’re right…but it’s been awful. If he hasn’t come back here then I don’t know where he would’ve gone.”

Aziraphale said

“You’re really that worried about him?”

Maggie asked, Aziraphale nodded

“He seems quite capable of looking after himself. He might he just need some time to cool off and he’ll turn up again. He seems like the hot headed type.”

Maggie suggested, but Aziraphale did not feel much better. Crowley was hot headed, and a little impulsive, any number of things could’ve happened. Crowley could’ve just gone off to Alpha Centuri without him. Or worse, something might’ve happened to him. Heaven and Hell was still no doubt displeased with their meddling. Aziraphale had rejoined the ranks but Crowley was alone down here now, a loose thread in the carefully crafted tapestry of the ineffable plan. Aziraphale shook his head to dislodge the awful thoughts that were attaching themselves to his mind. He couldn’t think like that, Crowley had kept himself alive for almost 6000 years with very little help from Aziraphale. But he’d never been completely cut off from either side alone before. He had nothing except his wiles, his Bentley and his house plants.

Maggie must’ve been reading his stricken expression, because she offered another comforting hand on his wrist this time.

“I’m sure he’s fine Mr Fell. Maybe he’s just taken a trip to clear his head.”

“I hope you’re right dear. Oh…look at that the tea is cold now.”

The angel sighed when he picked up his cup from the desk and took a sip.

“Keep the faith Mr Fell. I don’t know either of you that well, but from what I saw…it looked like you two really had something. I’m sure he wouldn’t just throw that away over one argument.”

Although her reassurances were helping less and less, Aziraphale appreciated them all the same.

“Thank you dear.”

He said, genuinely thankful as he did feel a little lighter.

“Anytime Mr Fell, if you ever need anyone to talk you, you know where I am. Now, I should let you get back to whatever it was you wanted to do before I interrupted you.”

Maggie said, draining her cold tea and standing up.

“Oh I just came back for a few books. Nothing important.”

Aziraphale brushed off, standing as well. They made their way to the door.

“Do let Muriel know if you see him? She will pass it onto me.”

Azirpahale asked. Maggie nodded with a sympathetic smile.

“Oh and Maggie…”

“Yes?”

“You arn’t going to tell anyone are you? About…”

He gestured vaguely, unsure how to describe what just happened. Maggie smiled warmly at him

“Of course not, keep it between us Mr Fell.”

Then she bid him goodbye. Aziraphale took one last look at the empty curb across the street before slowly closing the bookshop door to be alone with the ghosts inside.

[semper-legens]

51. The Beginning of the World in the Middle of the Night, by Jen Campbell

Owned?: No, library Page count: 209 My summary: A man buys a heart online to transplant into his lover. Children made of grass and leaves live under the watchful eye of doctors and surgeons. And the daughter of death runs a coffin hotel on a far-off island. This is a collection of strange and magical stories, modern fairy tales, all with a hint of darkness at their core. My rating: 4/5 My commentary:

I really need to stop impulsively picking up books just because their titles are cool and their covers are funky. Still, what a cool title, and what a funky cover! This is a collection of twelve short stories, disconnected from each other but for the thread of fairy tale that runs through them all. It's exactly my kind of thing, as I found out. These are the kind of messed up short stories that I love writing - purple prose, a touch of the lyrical, dark and gross and thought-provoking all in one. I can totally see why this might not be someone's cup of tea, but I was totally engrossed. Helps that I pretty much read all of the stories in one sitting - the collection is short enough that doing so is feasable, and I think that's to its benefit. I loved it, and I'm so glad I impulsively grabbed it from work!

Overall, the vibes of these stories were excellent. Not so dark as to be grim and gritty, oozing with magical, and with just enough mystery to see you through to the end. A lot is left ambiguous in these stories, or goes without explanation, which just adds to its mysteries and allows the reader to fill in the blanks for themselves. The prose was lyrical and poetic, strange with its imagery, in just the way I like it. There was a decent spread of perspectives and voices in which the stories were told, so there was no danger of them becoming samey or repetitive. The stories just were what they were - weird, magical, and full of life.

Of all the stories, the one about the plant children was my favourite. I can't pinpoint why exactly that is, there was just something really cool about the idea of children being part-plant, and trying their best to make a community despite not really knowing what is happening to them and what the adults who are obviously experimenting on them are going to do. The titular story was also a highlight for me - presented in a script format, it was a couple telling alternate stories of how civilisation began, and musing philosophically in a very 'it's 3am and we should be asleep' kind of way. I can see how this might come across to people as pretentious, but I very much vibed with it - I've had those sorts of conversations before, and I'm exactly the kind of audience for those quasi-philosophical ramblings. Animals, the first story where there is a craze for buying hearts, was also really effective. The protagonist has bought a swan heart for his lover, but as the story progresses we see that he is actually an abusive nightmare, and he is attempting to force his lover to adore him, all the while criticising others for their choices of heart. It's a deliciously messed up little story, and I very much enjoyed getting into the head of this shitty, shitty man.

Next, it's time to bid farewell to Five Nights at Freddy's.

[thevioletcaptain]

"The beach is buzzing with scantily-clad summer travelers, the sand golden-warm as the Gulf of Mexico stretches out forever under a bright blue sky, but it could be storming for all Dean knows. There could be an escaped rhinoceros sprinting across the sand. He wouldn't notice, because every last fraction of his focus is trained on the middle-aged former angel sprawled out on a threadbare beach towel a couple dozen feet away." The phrasing of this makes me smile every time I think of it - and Cas in his pink banana shorts is such an image! One of my favourite books is Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy and there's something in your choice of words here that really reminds me of Douglas Adams. I just love Toes in the Sand, it's one of my favourites fics! I re read it often, especially when I randomly think of this rhinoceros-middle-aged-former-angel bit. I also love your note in that fic about how you weren't planning for Dean to propose but he had other ideas! I love how writing is often something that flows through you onto the page and you just let have to let it go where it goes. I also absolutely adore Qualia. I held out for a while with Destiel AUs because there were so many canonverse fics I could be as picky as I wanted! But this was one of the first AUs I looked at and thought - I actually REALLY want to read this. I'm so glad I did, and now it's another one of my permanent bookmarked faves. I know it might be a wacky concept for some but the way you capture the yearning in that story - I feel it in my heart every time! I can feel my heart squeezing just thinking about it as I'm writing this!! Anyway, just wanted to tell you I appreciate you and I've been really sorry to read of all your personal struggles. Whether you never write a word again or feel inspired for many years to come, I just wanted to say what a positive impact your writing has had in my life, and say thank you for all the incredible creativity that you share with us ♥️♥️♥️

Anon, this is the kindest message 🥹

Cas sunbathing in his pink banana boardshorts is one of those moments that I've attempted to draw several times, but my artistic skills are not quite where I'd like them to be, and I've never been able to get the image to look quite right. Hopefully you'll see it if I ever manage to make it work well enough to post it 😅

Also, I get you holding out on reading AU fics for a while! I did the same when I first got into the fandom -- the canon universe is already such a vast sandbox that I wanted to hang out there for as long as possible. I still prefer to read and write canonverse most of the time for that reason, though I've defintely branched out a lot more over the past several years.

I'm so glad you've enjoyed my writing, and I'm really touched by this entire message. So thank YOU for sending it. And for reading. I'll definitely be posting more ❤️

[nagisadelune]

Headcanon: Luke as Your Tutor (Part 1)

(Definitely not edited)

Time for another headcanon! As much as I want to imagine this one in the real universe for Tears of Themis, this one is going to need to be its own little AU, so here we go!

For the timeline, imagine that you are in high school with Luke and Rosa. Let's just set the age to around 16, and assume that Luke hasn't left yet.

⭐⭐⭐

"UGH!" The loud crash of your head on the table surprises Luke and Rosa who stare at you. With finals coming up, you know that studying is your first priority, but nothing seems to be sticking in your head. Even with the water and snacks in the library, you still can't seem to understand the topics on your notebook. Rosa peers over you to take a glimpse at what you were reviewing this time.

"Physics?" she questions, noticing the various force diagrams scribbled in the lines of your notebook. You can only sigh as you nod your head a little. For some reason, you know how to do the questions in theory, but you keep getting the wrong answers because you misunderstand what the question asks for.

After lifting your head up from the desk, you begin explaining how you feel, "It's like I know how to do the questions and apply what I need, but the question asks for something different than what I expect." Understanding your frustrations, Rosa just pets your back to show her sympathy. While she tries to comfort you, Luke grabs the notebook and textbook from you to read the question.

"Yeah, I understand what you mean," Luke cuts in. "Sadly, the only way to fully understand what the questions want is by doing them over and over to practice." You sigh, knowing that he's right. Suddenly, you remember what you might've written in your notebook and carefully pull back your notebook from his grasp, trying to hide your red face.

For awhile now, you've taken interest in Luke: he is always such a sweet guy towards you and goes out of his way to make sure you're safe. Maybe it's because you're best friends with Rosa, but you find him to be extremely caring towards you. However, that's where it gets complicated; you and Rosa are always together since she takes you under her wing as her junior, and it's hard to differentiate his feelings towards you and Rosa.

Either way, you like him to the point that writing his name in the corner of the paper helps you calm down and focus on your thoughts while working on homework or a test. Because of this, you forget that his name is written in the corner of a couple pages in the midst of your frustration; the only thing you can do is hope that he doesn't notice it.

To hide your red face, you prop your elbow on the table and hold your temples with your thumb and middle finger. Hopefully, this seems natural to the two people who are worriedly looking at you. You start getting ready to attempt another question from the textbook when you hear Luke speak up from in front of you.

"We can tutor you if you want," he quietly offers. You look up from your paper to see Rosa nodding happily.

"Yeah, I think that it must have to do with the wording of the questions since I know a lot of people who didn't understand it until someone explained it," Rosa explains with a smile on her face. "Trust me, I was one of those people before Luke explained it to me last year." I glance at him and notice his ears turning red from her compliment.

"I'll be back," Luke awkwardly coughs out before quickly escaping the room. While he leaves, his cheeks are already starting to turn red. Your heart sinks thinking that he might actually like Rosa, but you hide it to avoid any conflicts. You watch his figure become smaller before eventually turning back to Rosa who has a mysterious smile growing on her face.

"My beloved junior, you have someone you like, don't you?" she playfully asks, lightly pushing your shoulder.

Immediately, you start panicking, "M-me? No. No way. No one I like. I don't like anyone. I mean who would I-"

"Y/N, your face is so red now," Rosa cut me off. "As your senior, you know you don't have to lie to me." You immediately want to hide since she read you so easily. You can only nod slightly and not make any eye contact before you feel a hand softly pat your head. "No need to be shy. It's normal to have someone you like," she comforts you in a soft tone.

"Was I too obvious?" you mumble, trying to hide your face from her. You were definitely not expecting Rose to notice your little crush towards her friend.

"Not at all," she responds. "In fact, I think I'm the only one who would know." A small weight seemed to come off of your chest when she explains the situation. "So what do you like about Luke?" Rosa suddenly asks. In an instant, you feel your heart beating out of your chest and the blood rising into your cheeks. Before you can even stutter out an answer, Rosa looks at you shocked and questions almost too loudly, "You like him that much!?"

"Rosa, please don't expose me that much!" you exclaim before covering her mouth and looking around the library. Luckily, there aren't many students in the library since today is Friday, but you prepare yourself for making apologies to the other students there. You also don't know if Luke is nearby, and you hope that you never have to find out his reaction to what she just said.

"Sorry, sorry," Rosa starts apologizing in a hushed tone, pulling your hands down from her mouth. "Why didn't you ever tell me that you liked him though?" You can only look down at your twiddling fingers as you try to form an answer.

"I felt like he liked you, and I didn't want to make anything awkward between the three of us," you murmur, picking at the dirt underneath your nails. "I don't want to ruin any relationships with you guys because I'm pretty happy where we are as a group." You have to stop yourself short to make sure you weren't rambling to your busy senior, but when she doesn't respond, you look up to see her soft smile.

"You wouldn't have ruined anything no matter what. Even if he liked me or you, you're allowed to have your feelings," Rosa softly speaks in an attempt to calm your nerves. "Plus, do you really think I would resent you or something for liking my childhood best friend?" You could only shrug to her question as you contemplate what would have happened in a different universe.

"Do you think he even likes me in any way? Even as a friend is fine," you ask her, embarrassed to be asking such a question. You can hear Rosa stifle a small laugh before she tries to respond to you.

"I think he at least doesn't mind being near you," Rosa answers after calming herself. "If he really couldn't stand you, why would he be here with all three of us?" You automatically think of an answer, but you keep it to yourself knowing that Rosa could easily refute your statement in an instant. Slowly, you shake your head no, and Rosa squeezes your hands. "Trust me when I say this: just be yourself around Luke. Either way, he will care about you," she whispers to encourage you. You can only nod before you hear Luke hurrying back.

"Are you guys okay?" he asks concerned, looking between you two. He seems to be sweating a little bit while carrying a plastic bag. His hair sticks a little to his forehead as he tries to wipe the sweat away, and you have to mentally tell yourself to stop staring before it becomes too obvious.

"We're okay," Rosa answers on our behalf. "Our little junior was just getting stressed about that physics final she has coming up, but I should be able to help her." She makes a little lie up to cover for your confession to her. Seemingly understanding the situation, Luke nods before setting the bag down on the table.

"Well maybe it was a good thing that I ran down to the convenience store for some snacks," Luke sighs in relief, revealing the various chips and candy he bought from the nearby store.

"Senior, why so many snacks though?" you question, picking up a packet of gummy bears. You raise your eyes to meet his, but you freeze as his eyes are deeply looking into yours. For a moment, time stops, and you can only hear your heartbeat and barely feel your breaths.

"Our favorite junior deserves some snacks for working so hard," his clear voice rings in your ears as it seems like you two are in your own world. His soft smile seems to radiate the warmth of sunlight, and your body warms from the inside. You clear your throat before looking back at the candy packet in your hand.

"Thank you," your shy voice thanks him, your eyes not able to meet his anymore. You can barely hear him respond back before you open the packet and try to distract yourself from what just happened. Snacking on one gummy, you focus your eyes on the notebook in front of you. However, your mind can't seem to focus on your work, distracted by a certain someone in front of you. While your hand instinctively reaches for the corner of the page, you have to stop yourself because it would be way too awkward to explain what you are writing.

As if on time, Rose suddenly stands up from the desk and starts freaking out, "I totally forgot I have to get back home and help Granny down the street with dinner!" Luke and I look at her shocked; she's never late to help Granny with dinner. "I have to run back right now. Luke, can you tutor and walk Y/N home when you guys are done studying?" Rosa quickly asks as she stuffs her thin jacket and study materials into her backpack. You help her gather her items to speed up the process.

"Yes, don't worry about us," Luke reassures her. "Just get going before Granny gets too worried about you." You see her barely nod as she slings her backpack over her shoulder and leaves the library. Watching her diminishing figure disappearing down the stairs, you can only sigh at the timing.

"I've never seen Rosa run like that or be late," you comment out loud, noticing her uncharacteristic behavior.

"You're right about that," Luke agrees as he peers behind himself for a second before setting his eyes back on you. When you look back at him, you feel frozen seeing him watch you. In the panic, you don't realize it, but she just set you up with Luke. When you realize it, you feel your heart racing and your mind wandering. The vibration from your phone pulls you away as you look at the text message from Rosa: "Good luck."

⭐⭐⭐

Okay, so this is way longer than I thought. I'm going to be making this a two-part headcanon, so you can enjoy the amount of fluff and not-angst this story has. Either way, I hope you liked it! See you in the next one!

Next: Luke as Your Tutor (Part 2)

[ewingstan]

top 5 favourite characters in any piece of media ever?

Oh Christ*. I doubt I could do real justice to this, but lets see if I can at least list in no particular order some of the characters I most like that have at least an orthogonal connection to this blog.

Rachel Lindt: Look, getting through the early parts of Worm were rough for me. Everything seemed a bit too exaggerated and ham-fisted, WB hadn't really learned how to do prose, and the only thing keeping me going was remembering that my cousin recommended it a while back and that that some out-of-context posts I'd seen from blastweave made it sound like it had some interesting ideas. But one of the early inexplicable hooks the story got into me was introducing this character who'd seem from a distance like another stock bully character, and almost immediately making me think "wait, I wanna see what he does with her. There's something there." And then there was! There's just something so satisfying about all her interactions with Taylor throughout the whole story; to the extent that I basically divide the story by the different periods of their relationship. She's everything.

Also, my posting about her was some of my first interactions with wormblr. Which is also the first fandom I think I could say I'm actually a part of? Like, there's plenty of things I'm a pretty huge fan of, I even have another fandom sideblog I started before this, but Worm got me actually posting instead of just passively reblogging for pretty much the first time. And Rachel got me there! So I have her to thank for answering this question at all in the first place.

Harrowhark Nonagesimus: The first character I liked in a blorbo kind of way, if that makes sense. Like, there's plenty of characters who I love, or who make the stories I love shine, or who I always had a fun time thinking about. But Harrow as a character just cracks open my brain in a way nothing else does. The Necromancy. The goth space Catholicism. The theatricality. The general horribleness. The specific combination of overwhelming presence and sad shitsack vibes. The specific combination of genius and ingenuity coupled with the crushing stubbornness and lack of creativity. Its not even like a key sliding into the lock in my heart, its like a lockpick that's clicking through all the tumblers in my heart-lock and revealing it for the flimsily-built masterlock-ass shit it is. I never used to get people who talked about how a character inspired them to pick up a hobby or take up an interest in something. But I ended up reading Lolita because of how much I loved Harrow! I started getting into Nabokov as a whole and finding one of my favorite writers because of Harrow! Nothing else does that to me! Which itself leads to...

Rose Lalonde: Did Harrow have a precursor? She did, indeed she did. In point of fact, there might have been no Harrow at all had Muir not loved, one summer, a certain initial witch-teen. In a comic by Hussie. Oh when? About as many years before GtN was written as my my age was that year. You can always count on my favorite characters for a fancy prose style.

No but Rose's verbose prose style really did cement her as one of my favorite characters. Like Bitch, she's a character that got me into an overly-long work I wasn't sure I wanted to tackle. I had attempted to start Homestuck a few times before I actually got into it, and the early computer-game jokes and user-submitted prompts weren't really engaging me. I did not see myself enjoying reading about John futzing around in his room for a few thousand pages. But man oh man, when the narrative switched focus to the literally purple-prosed kid obsessed with Lovecraft, I was ready for whatever the story wanted to do. I related to her and idolized her instantly. When I reread Homestuck much later, I related to her for much less complementary reasons. I have a particular (read: grating as hell) speaking style that's a result of being a kid who both thought of himself as smarter than everyone and was completely unsocial to the point of barely being able to have a conversation. I sound like an analytic philosophy paper written by an undergrad who's not invested in the topic or the course but who really wants to sound like he knows what he's talking about. The unique and specific character voices in Homestuck are the best part of the work for me, and when I first read Rose, I was basically reading who I wanted to be. And reading her later and realizing all the ways she's just a dumb kid makes me think of all the ways I was just a dumb kid, and how I'm trying to get to a place where I can converse with someone and feel comfortable without being condescending.

Look, there's a reason that despite Dave and Karkat having all my favorite moments in the work, I ended up owning two pairs of Rose t-shirts. And its the same reason I have a Ninth House outfit.

Kaladin Stormblessed: What if there was a story about trauma giving you superpowers fueled by bonding to an alien intelligence, but instead of the bonded spirit driving you towards self-destructive behavior it tried to make you into the best version of yourself? I've already talked a bit about how the Stormlight Archives has a surprising number of similarities to Worm, and reading it when I was a young teen probably contributed to developing the sensibilities that made Worm click for me. Plus, the cosmere was my first real multi-property media I got into, so it probably preempted me getting into comics as well (which this blog is also theoretically about). Speaking of—

Roberto da Costa: Feel weird about this, because I'm not even very familiar with the original Claremont stories he originated from. But the Al Ewing stories I read with him were some of the first Marvel comics I read at all (USAvengers was a weird-place to start that journey, tell ya hwat), and he set the tone for what modern big-two comics could do well perfectly. There's a lot of obvious problems with the eccentric billionaire hero archetype, but he's the best of that type of character. And while Ewing has written much better comics than the New Avengers/USAvengers runs he first used Roberto in, those stories were the ones that got me interested in Ewing in the first place. And I initially made this blog as a comics subblog devoted to his work! So again, this blog wouldn't really exist without Sunspot.

Special mention to: The March Hare+Doormouse. Putting them together because my parents met while playing them in their college theater program. Owing my existence to these characters means they probably deserve at least a mention. Also Jessie Pinkman and Sylvester Lambsbridge and Clint Barton and Saint Perpetua and Celestina the Witch and Smurov from Nabokov's "The Eye" and Quentin Brooks from Eidolon Playtest and the fictionalized version of Al Swearengen from Deadwood and Sister Carpenter from "The Silt Verses" and—

*No, I'm not putting him on the list.

[road2nf]

As I read, thinking about how I wanted to give Margo’s parents a stern talking to, a small 3-inch wide piece of paper slipped out from between the pages. A hand written note, it read “Congratulations, Reader, you might be a Nerdfighter!

Upon my introduction to them, the Nerdfighter Community was obliterating the world of suck I was currently inhabiting! Here’s how:

I occasionally suffer from mild to moderate depressive episodes; periods of about one to two weeks filled with anxiety, and intense apathy. I basically stop enjoying life in general.

It sucks; and although I’ve been learning a lot about my triggers in the past couple months, I’ve yet to unravel the complex formula for the triggers that end these episodes.

In the past, it’s been being around friends, it’s embarking on a new project, and the beginning of a new love.

This time around after one long week, I found I was still traveling through my daily life on autopilot, because even though my passions had ran away, the need to maintain my relationships and uphold responsibilities had not.

And unfortunately being around my loved ones, which had worked in the past, miserably backfired this time around.

Essentially, I could see that faking normalcy wasn’t working, and they could start to see that my smile didn’t reach up to my eyes.

The worst of it was my failed attempt to be near my boyfriend in order to snap out of it.

It hurt immensely to feel so tremendously hollow while he held me, and it hurt more when he, understandably and respectfully, asked for space.

I saw for the first time how my disorder could ruin this relationship, my first real relationship, and it terrified me. So I stepped back from my life for a few hours, took up temporary hermit hood, put the “fake it till you make it” mentality on hold.

I went back to my dorm, picked up a copy of Paper Towns and settled in with some coca-cola and chocolate morsels and nuts.

As I read, thinking about how I wanted to give Margo’s parents a stern talking to, a small 3-inch wide piece of paper slipped out from between the pages. A hand written note, it read “Congratulations, Reader, you might be a Nerdfighter! If you don’t know what I’m talking about, I suggest you go to YouTube/Vlogbrothers and start exploring this TRULY AMAZING community (Nerdfighteria): We raise money for charities, support artist, decrease World Suck, and SO MUCH MORE! Hope to see you there. DFTBA and Best Wishes! -Missing Left Sock”

My first thought: What is world suck?

Second: Did someone go into Barnes n Noble and place these in copies of John Green’s books?! Third: Where’s my laptop?

The first thing I found was this live podcast hosted by John Green himself.

He was answering questions as they were appearing on his screen, and was remarkably funny and kind! And frankly very sassy.

On the side bar there was the insane flurry of questions racing up the page.

Honestly I don’t really remember the topic of the conversation, but I became acutely aware in a matter of minutes that this was a light hearted, accepting, inspirational, and powerful community. A force to be reckoned with.

And then I achieved the miraculous feat of laughing and erupting into tears simultaneously.

A live podcast might seem like such a menial thing, but to me it was a speck of light piercing the toxic pool I’d been drowning in. It was literally a beacon that showed me how to climb out of my current low.

They were happy tears, they were an expression of hope.

So there you have it. That’s the story of how my introduction to the Vlogbrothers and Nerdfighteria literally demolished my own personal world of suck, and I’ve been a proud Nerdfighter ever since. So thank you John and Hank Green, thank you Nerdfighteria, and thank you Missing Left Sock whoever you are.

I can’t begin to express how a small act had such a colossal impact on my world; because I’m on my way to recovery, to understanding, to control, to peace, to acceptance. I’m on my way, and will combat world suck at every step.

-AndTheEarthSighed (andtheearthsighed.tumblr)

[shinynewwriting]

So I’ve finally gotten around to reading Batman: White Knight and the spinoffs. (Did not like Curse of the White Knight because I find Azrael terminally boring. Beyond the White Knight was fun as a Batman Beyond fan and also for finally giving me the Joker/Batman banter I craved.) As an Elseworlds story, I think it’s very entertaining. Genuine congrats to Sean Murphy for writing the soft Joker/Harley AU he wanted to see in the world. Also, Dick Grayson is frothing at the mouth to send Batman to jail/the timeout corner, and this is very funny to me.

The two big mental sticking points for me were:

-Jack Napier is extremely heterosexual, and that is just simply not believable for a dude who is sometimes the Joker. I believe he might ditch the bright purple suit. I cannot believe that he’s not jerking it to thoughts of Batman every morning. I don’t even think this was a deliberate attempt at No Homo, because Jack was practically walking around as the heart-eyes emoji towards Batman in BtWK. Both books have the same writer. But if someone only reads White Knight, it comes off as, “The Joker is only bi when he’s crazy,” which, holy unfortunate implications, Batman!

-Look, I know it’s an Elseworlds with the premise of “what if the softer, lulzier Joker of eras past reformed and took down Grimdark Batman using the law.” But I can only take so much self-righteousness from a dude who, in most continuities, has tried to kill every person in Gotham on a bi-monthly basis. Every couple of pages, I had to put the book down and mentally reset, because otherwise I started muttering things like, “Fuck the collateral damage, buddy, I’m pretty sure you’ve eaten people.” It was a hard sell as a premise, to say the least.

...all this to say I think I’m writing my first Batjokes fic in a decade ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Because I really wanted more of this:

and if it will not be given to me, I will make it.

[hcm92literature]

‘Out Of Character’ 10th December 2022

‘Out Of Character’ master page  

Read on AO3

Author’s notes: apologies for this being posted a few days late, i’ve had a really crap few weeks and haven’t had the time/energy for this stuff, and this might affect the final two chapters as i still haven’t finished writing them… but hopefully i can get them both done before the end of the year!

“Adrien!”

He had known it was coming. But that didn’t mean he was prepared for it. Adrien turned to see Marinette weaving her way through her friends to get to him. Adopting what he hoped was a suitably surprised expression, he attempted to calm his breathing and moved towards her. “Marinette?”

“I, uh…” She looked flustered. She also looked goddamned gorgeous. The theme of Alya and Nino’s Christmas party was ugly sweaters, but Marinette was the complete opposite of ugly in hers. It was obviously handmade by her; strawberry milk pink with white snowmen and snowflakes. But she’d tied her hair in a neat bun at the top of her head, wore sparkly snowflake earrings, and had done her makeup to match the pink of her sweater. Adrien could feel his heart threatening to escape his green and white Agreste brand sweater, whose patterns were calculated enough to be deemed ugly.

Marinette blushed to match her sweater and glanced up at him and then away sheepishly. “Can we move over here? Where it’s a little quieter?” Adrien nodded and followed her to the corner of the living room where the white and gold decorated Christmas tree was situated. It wasn’t much quieter sound-wise as the music filled the entire apartment, but there wasn’t anyone else standing nearby. He looked down at her as she fidgeted, apparently trying to look everywhere but his face. “Well… first of all, Merry Christmas.”

Adrien couldn’t help the small smile that played on his lips despite his nerves. “Merry Christmas, Nettie.”

She looked at him properly then, a suspicious expression threatening to spread across her face, and his heart rate continued to increase at his slip up of using her nickname as Adrien. Marinette then took a deep breath. “Adrien, I… I think I owe you an apology.” She frowned. “No, I do owe you an apology. Walking out on that D&D session a couple weeks ago was rude and out of line. I should have voiced my discomfort instead of punishing you for it. And Marc. I already apologised to them over text but… Well, I felt like my apology to you should be in person. And not just because I don’t have your number.” She laughed nervously.

“Was that you asking for my number?”

Marinette’s eyes shot to his and he silently cursed himself. Why did he say that? Even if she did want his number, he couldn't give it to her - she already had it saved in her phone as Chat Noir’s number! He put a hand to the back of his head and laughed probably a little too loud. “Just kidding! I, uh, my phone’s run out of battery and I don’t remember my number anyway!”

She raised an eyebrow at him then glanced away with an unreadable look on her face. “Um, okay… Anyway, I just wanted to, I guess, have a talk with you about that game. And about…” When she looked back at him, her expression was pained, making Adrien flinch. “Uh, Plagg’s confession.” Something about the way she said his character’s name made him think she knew it wasn’t just Plagg confessing to Tikki.

“W-what is there to talk about?” Adrien shuffled from foot to foot uncomfortably.

“Well, it felt- to me at least, it felt like it came out of nowhere. This whole year I was under the impression that Plagg hated Tikki-”

“Because he didn’t say much to her and acted aloof?”

Her eyebrows went up slightly. “Yes. And when he did speak to her, he always seemed standoffish.”

“That’s because he was nervous… Tikki was so bright and friendly and caring, and Plagg was enamoured with her from the moment they met. But he could never seem to find the right words to speak to her, no matter the subject. So he just didn’t say much at all…”

Marinette’s face betrayed some of her thoughts as surprise and suspicion settled over it. She opened and closed her mouth a few times before clearing her throat and actually speaking. “Adrien, are you-”

“Hey, you guys are under the mistletoe!”

The pair turned to stare at Alix in shock. She had sidled up next to Marinette, precariously holding a drink and pointing above them with the biggest lopsided grin on her face. She must have been drunk. Adrien and Marinette looked above their heads to see that there was indeed a large sprig of mistletoe hanging off the tree between them. It was sneaky, as the white berries matched the other white decorations surrounding it, so it wasn’t really visible at first glance.

Adrien looked back down at Marinette, desperately trying to keep his breathing steady, but she was still staring at the foliage, again with an unreadable expression. He cleared his throat and took a half-step away from her. “We don’t have to-”

Alix suddenly scooted behind him and shoved him more than the half-step back towards Marinette, much to her shock. “Oh, yes you do! It’s tradition! Alya made me kiss Kim under the mistletoe earlier, so there’s no way I’m letting you guys get out of it!” She then moved back to Marinette’s side and jabbed a finger in her ribs, eliciting a pained exclamation. “And it has to be for five seconds at least. You can’t get away with just a peck with me around!”

Panic settled over Adrien. Marinette obviously didn’t want this and he wasn’t going to do it unless she said otherwise. But Alix was being difficult. What could he say to stop her from-

“Alright, fine.”

“I’m sorry?” Adrien blinked down at Marinette in shock. What did she just say?

When she looked up at him, he was almost more panicked by her expression. She looked like she was calculating something, but there was also something softer behind her eyes that was sparking some kind of hope in him that he barely dared to think about. She gave him a small smile and shrugged. “It’s tradition, right?”

Adrien felt that his heart might actually explode with how hard and fast it was pumping. Marinette closed the gap between them and put her hands on his chest. Surely she must be able to feel how nervous he was… Her expression took on a surprised edge, but the softness was the predominant look in her eyes now as she looked up at him through her eyelashes. She then closed them and began leaning up. Adrien took a breath and leaned down. Then their lips met.

One second.

Marinette’s lips were so soft and tasted of mulled wine.

Two seconds.

Adrien began moving his own without thinking.

Three seconds.

Was she responding? He could barely believe it.

Four seconds.

Adrien found his hands moving of their own accord, one wrapping around her waist and the other cupping her face.

Five seconds.

They should be pulling apart now, right?

Six seconds.

One of her hands snaked its way up to his hair and fingers became entangled in it, just as they had a couple weeks ago. Only this time his hair wasn’t wet and her fingers ran through it with ease, sending jolts of electricity down his spine.

Seven seconds.

Alix laughed loudly and the pair leapt apart, both breathing heavily. She grinned as they glared at her, and gave them a thumbs up. “Well, that was definitely more than five seconds and you clearly enjoyed it! You can thank me lateeer.” She winked and blew them a kiss then laughed her way over to where Alya and Nino were stood gawking with their mouths open.

Adrien turned back to Marinette and rubbed the back of his head where her hand had just been. “I, um-”

“I think I need another drink.” Her voice was high-pitched and strangled, and he couldn’t read her expression as she turned to walk away, but her face was bright red, much deeper than the pink of her sweater.

“O-okay…” Adrien stayed rooted to the ground next to the tree, but stared after her in confusion. What the heck just happened?

[inbetweenhours]

I posted 574 times in 2022

That's 414 more posts than 2021!

106 posts created (18%)

468 posts reblogged (82%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@inbetweenhours

@raan-miir-tah

@anonymous-dentist

@honeyblockm

@theminecraftbee

I tagged 571 of my posts in 2022

Only 1% of my posts had no tags

#empires smp - 205 posts

#dsmp - 165 posts

#empires smp 2 - 139 posts

#hourspost - 117 posts

#empires smp 1 - 96 posts

#solidaritygaming - 64 posts

#smajor - 62 posts

#queue - 61 posts

#hermitcraft - 52 posts

#tommyinnit - 51 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#literally so interesting because i’ve literally heard that gem said her character is morally dubious or something but she’s sitting next to

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

WIP of Rats SMP Lizzie and Scott because I watched Scott’s video about the smp and now I have to figure out how to watch this withought keeling over trying to keep up with streams

Anyways heavy inspiration from The Rescuers and The Great Mouse Detective I spent like half an hour finding character pages for those films before even attempting to draw these two. Might draw more later, might not. Would recommend though it is very fun

183 notes - Posted October 20, 2022

#4

finished Jimmy and Scotts references for my lineup and decided to take a break to draw this :]

art style did something weird where I went into it with the intentions of being simple with it, hence the simplification of Jimmy’s feet and Scotts wings especially. However as I went to sketch their heads and faces I ended up leaning more into my usual style, so overall a weird mix. Regardless I had fun and like out it turned out :]

Actually can’t believe I drew this BEFORE my seabling piece,,, I think the seablings just like to pick people up, they the tallest fuckers in the lineup they deserve it lol

187 notes - Posted October 18, 2022

#3

so I had seen Tommy’s “I didn’t used to be this angry” quote going around after the recent lore stream, and ofc it broke my heart like, that’s such a good line. But I never actually heard it until a couple minutes ago and,,,, fuck,,,,

“I don’t know why I did that. I was angry. I didn’t used to be this angry” is said in such a deeply emotional way what the fuck was cc!Tommy doing mans has the emotional impact of that line down pat I was only listening, was not looking of he had facecam, the pure emotional rawness of that line carried by itself tommy what the fuck

234 notes - Posted September 6, 2022

#2

Rats reading the butlers diary, about to do chores

lmao this was a very cute scene from Scott’s second episode so I decided to draw it :] Scott ofc having trouble reading but Owen and Bek are able to figure out what they need to do!

359 notes - Posted October 30, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

See the full post

575 notes - Posted November 10, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[fandomwritings-cm13]

The Quiet Mill Inn (A 20/s!AU Steve Rogers Fic) -- Chapter 5

Pairing: 20s!AU Steve Rogers x OC (Jaelyn Roberson)

Series summary: Jaelyn is sent back in time to the year 1920 by a devious acquaintance, Max. He sees her as more than a friend or acquaintance, and his goal in sending her back is to convince her that he’s good for her.

Warnings: lots of dialogue, protective Steve and Bucky

Word count: 1726 words

Rosalie looks over at me for a brief second as she stirs the pot on the stove. “Are you doing anything for Thanksgiving?”

I shake my head, keeping my gaze on the vegetables on the cutting board. “No, family’s too far.”

“Ah, I see. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. I’ll be fine, I think.” I pause. “What about you?”

“My family lives in town, so I’m going home for at least a couple days. You’re welcome to come with me.”

“And leave Steve and Bucky alone?”

“I’m certain they’ll manage.”

“Are you sure? It seems like they’re the type to burn anything they attempt to cook.”

Rosalie laughs so hard it turns into a cackle. It takes her a moment to calm her breathing enough to speak. “Well, they’re more capable than they seem, for sure.”

“I’d still like to see them in here instead of us for once. Might be entertaining.”

“I certainly would find it interesting.”

. . . . . . . . .

“You sure you’ve got this, doll?” Bucky questions. It’s hard to tell if he’s teasing or not. When I look over at him, he’s leaning against the doorframe, his eyebrows raised. “I can step in if you need me to.”

I feel my cheeks heat with a blush, and I redirect my gaze back to what I’m trying to cook. “I’m sure I’m good. Thanks for asking, Bucky.”

It’s silent for a few minutes, so I concentrate on trying to cook the vegetables and beef for the Thanksgiving meal I’m preparing. I flinch and clutch my hand when I accidentally touch the edge of the oven, biting my lip as tears well up in my eyes.

“Here, doll,” Bucky soothes, gently grasping my shoulders and maneuvering me away from the stove. He guides me out of the kitchen entirely. “Steve, get Jaelyn a cool cloth. She just burned her hand on the oven.”

Concern fills Steve’s features, and he’s quick to approach. He quickly takes me from Bucky, guiding me to sit at the staff’s table, separate from the dining area for guest use. Once I’m seated, he rushes off and out of sight. While I’m left cradling my burnt hand, though it hurts less now.

Steve returns a moment later, a small cloth in his hands, and the concern hasn’t left his eyes. He rushes back over to me and takes my hand from me. He searches my hand for any evidence of the burn.

“Steve,” I say, attempting to pull my hand from his grip, “I’m fine. It doesn’t hurt that badly any more.”

His grip tightens momentarily, only to get me to stop pulling on his grip since he loosens his grip when I stop moving. “Still needs to be tended to, even if it’s not hurting.”

He doesn’t move again until I nod. He locates the place of the burn on my hand and wraps the cloth around it, tying it off so neither of us have to hold it in place. It’s then he takes a seat at the table beside me. He looks at me for a few seconds longer before picking up the newspaper and reading it again.

I look at the front page, what’s visible to me, as Steve reads something on the inside pages. I look up at him as he sets the paper down on the table.

He’s staring out the windows looking out over the front of the property.

I glance out, too, hoping to find what he saw. “What is it? What did you see?”

“I thought I saw someone outside,” he replies, standing then approaching the window.

I follow and look out the window at his side. I search the area in front of the inn. There’s really no one there, since people are generally on the other side of town to get last minute supplies or at home.

Until a familiar face crosses into sight, and immediately, my stomach sinks and my heart races. I hide behind Steve, clutching onto the back of his shirt as I shrink in on myself, in the hopes that I remain out of sight.

“What? What is it?” Steve questions, and I can feel him trying to turn to look at me.

“Don’t!” I cry. “I’m not here!”

He’s silent for a moment. And still. “Is this the gentleman you mentioned?”

I nod quickly, tears beginning to fall from my eyes. 

Steve turns and quickly guides me out of the room, one arm around my waist. We’re soon back at the kitchen. Bucky looks over immediately. 

“Keep Jaelyn safe here,” Steve commands before Bucky can even say a word. “The man who sent her here is back and out in front of the inn.”

Bucky takes me and keeps an arm firmly around me, perhaps in an attempt to comfort me. I can only watch as Steve disappears then I turn into Bucky’s chest and continue to cry. 

“He won’t find you, Jaelyn,” Bucky assures me, running a hand through the ends of my hair. “We won’t let him take you.”

I clutch onto him tighter, terrified at the silence. It feels like ages before I can hear anything. 

“I said, we’re closed,” Steve yells. “Now get off my property before I get the sheriff.”

Silence follows, and my heart beats wildly in anticipation of what will happen next. I can hear footsteps approaching, and I hide my face in Bucky’s chest, still clutching onto his shirt.

“He’s gone,” Steve states, “at least for now.”

“For now?” Bucky inquires.

“He didn’t seem convinced that she wasn’t here. He went off into town. He’s bound to return at some point again.” 

I whimper and turn my face the opposite way from Steve, not wanting to worry him further with even more of my tears.

Bucky rubs my back in an attempt to soothe me. “He won’t find you here, Jae. We’ll make sure of it.”

“You don’t know that!” I cry. “He’s a lot smarter than you think. He knew I likely wouldn’t have been very far from where he dumped me.”

“We’ll get a contingency plan in place with at least one back up plan,” Steve says firmly. “We know he’s going to come back. Now, we just have to be ready for him.”

“What if he gets-” Bucky begins but stops suddenly, though I can’t see why. Instead, he tightens his arm around me briefly. “Why don’t you go sit back down in the staff dining-” He stops when I quickly shake my head no. “Steve will go close the curtains, and he’ll stay in there with you.”

I pull back, wiping at my cheeks with the back of my sleeve. “What if he sneaks in?”

“I already locked up all the outside doors,” Steve assures me. “It’ll just be the three of us until morning.”

I look between the two of them for a moment before taking a step away from Bucky. He smiles gently at me before I step around him to follow Steve into the staff dining room. As I enter, he’s shutting the curtains for the window, and the room is considerably darker as a result. He turns his attention to the fireplace, stoking the flames and adding a couple more logs. As he does that, I find the matchbox and light the candles on the table. Steve approaches as I blow out the match and set it in the discard bowl. 

“How’s your hand feeling?” he asks, gently taking it into his grasp again.

I shrug. “Feels fine.”

He unwraps the now room temperature cloth from my hand and examines the burn. “No blistering yet, but it still looks a little red. We’ll keep an eye on it and get you another cool cloth before bed if needed.”

I nod slowly, my gaze wandering over to the lone window in the room now concealed by the curtains.

“You don’t have to worry, Jaelyn. He’s not going to come back tonight.”

I look down at my feet. “You don’t know that…”

“Well, he’ll have to break in, and I’d be getting the sheriff involved if he did. Which would put him further out of reach from you.”

“Temporarily. They wouldn’t be able to keep him locked up indefinitely.”

“No, but we may be able to get our hands on that machine and send one of you back home.”

I look up at him. “One of us?”

He nods slowly. His cheeks are a faint pink, and it seems he’s biting the inside of his cheek.

“Who would you send?”

He looks away from me, his cheeks burning a brighter red.

“Who would you send?”

He shakes his head and turns his back to me. Before he can walk away, I grab his hand, which brings his gaze to our hands then to me.

“Jaelyn,” he breathes.

“Answer my question,” I command, though my voice is nearly as quiet as his.

“I thought you’d get the idea… I mean, I’ve tried to…” He stops, rubbing his brow as he looks down. A couple seconds later, he looks me in the eyes, and I can see tears in the corners of them. “I’d send you back if you wanted me to.”

I squeeze his hand gently then release it. “Thank you, Steve.” 

. . . . . . .

“You have to tell her eventually,” Bucky says in a matter of fact tone.

“I know, I know,” Steve sighs, pacing in front of the fireplace. “She’s still an employee, Buck.”

“Does that mean you can’t have feelings of attraction for her?”

“It means I need to be respectful and careful. I wouldn’t want to do anything indecent.”

“If she’s your girl, who cares if it’s indecent? Especially what’s done in private.”

“Who’s to say we’d even have that much privacy anyway?”

Bucky shrugs. “I guess you’ll figure it out.”

“How do we know she has feelings for me and not you?”

Bucky chuckles. “That’s a risk you’re going to have to take, though I wouldn’t mind her attraction or attention. But I don’t think you have anything to worry about, Steve.”

“What makes you say that?”

“The way she looks at you.”

Steve looks over at him, no longer pacing. “How does she look at me?”

“Like she wouldn’t mind you giving her more attention than you do.”

Steve takes a seat, his mind swarming with thoughts as he stares into the fire.

[lovesickmochi]

Memory

re: Dear You. I logged into this account for the first time in a long time. I deleted the app on my phone, and completely logged out of it on my computer.

I know he posts on here every now and then, and for a while, I couldn't help but not look at anything he wrote about us. In hopes that it would help me move on after everything that had happened.

I read the letter he wrote to me.

It took me a while to process it, and also find the words to make an attempt at responding to him in the most mature way possible.

So, here it is.

A couple hours ago, I found out about a Bruno Major concert that's happening in a week at the Warfield in San Francisco. Listening to some of his albums, I remembered a cover a former friend of mine wrote here on Tumblr. He changed up the lyrics of Nothing - Bruno Major into something relating to how our friendship was at the time.

I was reading the cover a couple minutes ago, and it brought me back to who I used to be, who he used to be to me.

He said I used to be his sun and moon. He said I was the gold in between the seams of his life. He said I saved his life. The person he could go to for anything and everything. We were inseparable.

But... Why aren't I that person anymore?

There was a situation that occurred over a year ago, now. I'll take the blame for the most part, I know now that I was the problem in that whole thing. It's my fault that it became so much of a big deal. It's my fault that our friendship had to end.

I know better than to cover up my side of the story with lies, just to point out who the bad guy is. So in this, to you and her, I'm sorry.

I feel like a coward for not messaging this directly, but I hope this finds you in good health. I hope this message can come through as a truce, maybe as a notice that I'm ready to talk and try things again. That is, only if you want to reignite what was lost, or start over with a blank page. I have a pen to give to you, we can start writing a new story together. If not, that is okay. I don't want to force you to do anything you don't want to do. It's your path, your decision.

Every now and then, my Snapchat memories show me videos of us. Of our friendship, of our adventures. I would look at them and say to myself, "When is the next time we can have an adventure like this again?" But then I remember, it's not that simple anymore. I will admit that I haven't matured as much as you expected me to. There are some things in my life that I still have to fix, or make a move on, but I promise I'm getting better.

I've been in a relationship with someone for almost half a year now. And in all honesty, you're still one of the main people I want to introduce him to. Not for any judgement, but to express how much you both mean to me to a point where I can comfortably introduce you to each other.

I've also been on the look out for jobs. There's a restaurant that's hiring waitresses and hostesses for $24 an hour, so I might apply to that. In the meantime, after I get my first paycheck, I'm going to start working on my GED. I have to pay for four classes that I can easily do online, which isn't that bad really, it's like taking a unit test.

After receiving my GED, I'm going to pursue massage therapy. It's something I've been looking into for the past year or so, and I want to see where the studies can take me in the future.

Things have been pretty great, really. I'm starting to get a move on in my life, but I wanted to take a moment and think about you.

I miss you. I miss all of the talks we would have so late in the night, and all of the laughter and the crying, everything. If there's any way I can make it up to you, or make the chances of getting to know you again more likely, I'm ready for it. There's still so much love in my heart for you, and I'm willing to give things a second chance if you are too.

I love you. I hope you haven't forgotten that.

<3

Shelby

[if-you-fan-a-fire]

"CLEARED CONSCIENCE BY CONFESSING GUILT,” Toronto Star. February 15, 1933. Page 2.  --- Housebreaker Sought Detective and Told About His Depredations ---- Declaring that he had made a clean breast of a series of thefts and house-breaking, Arthur Patton stood penitently before Magistrate R. J. Browne in police court to-day in answer to the theft of diamond rings, watches, postage stamps and wearing apparel, to the estimated value of about $100. 

Detective Johns deposed that Patton had come to him and said. that he wished to have a clear conscience. The accused man volunteered the information which helped us to regain most of the missing goods," said the officer.

The crown-attorney read a previous record of Patton into the case, whereupon the court decided that the circumstances warranted a short reformatory term. "I'll make it one year definite and six to 12 months indeterminate," said the magistrate. "Now see that you stick to your good intentions in future, for you will surely be given a long penitentiary sentence if you disobey the law again." 

Gets Benefit of Doubt Frank Cohen, up on remand from last week over receiving $47 on a cheque drawn for 47c, but filled in by a bank official for the larger amount, was ordered discharged. 

"There was undoubtedly a mistake made." said the magistrate, "and I shall have to give accused the benefit of the doubt." 

Harold Doyle pleaded not guilty of burglary and wounding Morris Fogler and elected jury trial. He was remanded in custody till Feb. 21. 

On a charge of stealing $20.55, Jack McDonald was remanded for a week. 

A charge of criminal negligence. lodged against Cyril Garbutt, was  set aside for two weeks pending settlement of civil damages. Bail of $2,000 was arranged." Armed Robber Not Bad George McDermott, described as a simple but inoffensive youth, was charged with attempting to rob with arms a business office in charge of Mr. Callaghan. "Accused came in, stuck a small gun in my face and said: 'Hand it over!" declared complainant Callaghan. 

"And what did you do?" inquired the crown. "I grabbed his wrist, 'pulled my own gun out of a handy drawer and ordered him to drop the. One he had pointed at me," replied Callaghan quietly. 

Canon Sawyer took the witness box To state that the accused young man was usually well behaved. "He comes to church regularly," stated the minister. "I know for a fact that the boy nursed his mother over a long period of illness."

McDermott's father swore that for 21-2 years his son had done the house work and cared for his mother who died but recently. "My son took. some powders that had been prescribed for his mother and I surmise it was from them that he became. somewhat deranged at the time he committed the misdeed he now stands charged with." 

"I don't think accused is a bad lad at heart." cut in Magistrate Browne, looking with kindly eyes to wards the silent youth in the dock. "And I'm going to order him suspended for sentence till called on, with probation for an indefinite period," 

Needed Fuel at Home Three young men admitted stealing coal to take to their homes, when answering charges of theft. 

"You certainly chose the right answer when you told us you needed the fuel at home," observed Crown- Attorney Malone. 

"Remanded for sentence." ruled the court. 

"Thanks, your worship," replied the accused in unison. 

"Discharged" was the order made in the case of Edward Wells and Agnew Burlie, up for alleged theft of silverware at a neighborhood party. 

Got Her Money Back Herbert J. McEntree, charged with false pretences, was committed for trial on $2,000 bail. The sum of $200 was allegedly secured from a woman complainant, who admitted having received the money involved just previous to the accused's arrest. 

"They are only a couple of youngsters and I do not wish to accept their pleas of guilty to the picking up of a few oats from a box car in order that they might feed their pet pigeons," observed Magistrate R. J. Browne when interrogating Bert Bates and Robert Chapman faced him on the double charge of theft and trespass. 

Evidence disclosed that the boys had scooped a few handfuls of grain from an emptied box car standing in the Parkdale yards of the C.P.R. 

"We wanted to feed our pigeons." said the two boys with equal candor.  

“And now what do you want to do?" pursued his worship with a smile. "We will turn in the pigeons toward payment of our fines." 

"No-No-Hold on now," "cautioned the bench. "I see enough pigeons around here - I'll place you boys on suspended sentence over the trespass charge and order withdrawal of the charge of theft. Now go over and see Mr. Freer, the probation officer, who will explain to you the seriousness of attempting to take things that do not belong to you." 

Eleven Drunks Up Of 11 men who appeared before Magistrate Tinker charged with being drunk Robert Hamilton, Wm. Lewis and Frank Duncan were each lined $10 and costs or 10 days. Duncan admitted he was on city relief. 

Harold Dale, James O'Brien and Wm. Hackin,. all recipients of city relief, were warned to change their ways. 

"You have each pleaded guilty." the magistrate declared. "And I am not inclined to be too hard on your but and here his worship paused impressively. "I do think you men are taking a rather mean advantage when you accept public charity and then go out and abuse the privilege. by getting drunk at parties on other people's expense. Now promise me you will change your ways." "Yes - yes -yes," said the three in chorus. 

"Very well," resumed the court, "remanded for sentence in charge of Capt. Bunton of the Salvation. Army." 

Wm. Kelly was ordered to keep away from police court in future. "You are altogether too familiar a figure in early court," said the magistrate. "Now go along and see if you can abstain from overdrinking in future." Kelly hung his head and went. 

John Skotynsky slept in a C.P.R. box car without permission. Ten dollars and costs or 30 days was the penalty. 

Detective John Atkinson has written The Star pointing out the report in the police court column on Monday to the effect that he had arrested a man who begged at his door for a meal is incorrect. Detective Atkinson had no connection with the case. 

Caught Running Alcohol Paul Romanink, was fined $200 and costs, or three months in jail by Magistrate Jones in the liquor and traffic court for having alcohol illegally. He pleaded guilty in Polish through Interpreter Markovitz. 

"He had in his possession a quart bottle of alcohol," stated P.C. Fred Grose (499) who arrested him on Nelson St. "I asked how much he got for running alcohol. He said 25 or 50 cents a trip. Later he said he bought it from a man on the street by the name of Mike." 

"On a farm near Richmond Hill. they're making alcohol," said the accused. "They started in 1918." 

Wm. Keenan, charged with reckless driving, asked for a remand and will appear again on Feb. 22. Bail was set at $50.

Orville Mullen was charged with. reckless driving by P. C. Graham. (762). "He wants to straighten up some damage done," said W. B. Horkins asking for a week's remand. "The police have his car, I think you could take his own bail."

Mullen agreed to pay storage on his car of $1 per day and was allowed out on his own bail till Feb. 22. 

Itala Angell, alleged to have a fictitious permit and to possess alcohol illegally, was remanded till Feb. 23. Bail was fixed at $1.000. 

Stanley Kania skidded into a plate. glass window and a gasoline pump on Queen St. W. and did $270 damage. 

"I should like you to give me a chance," said Kania, "and I'll give him $25 as soon as I get a chance." 

"Did he do it on purpose?" asked the bench. "No, sir," replied Antony Mole, whose hardware store was run into. 

"Was he in a drunken condition?" "No, sir." "You'll have to collect your damages elsewhere," said the magistrate to Mole, as he fined Kania $20 and costs or 10 days.