#i think it's because they didn't charge me rent the month my apartment was a health hazard because there was a whole bog in my bathtub

[hotdrinks]

not an exaggeration, once a month, right when rent is due, my apartment complex sends me a notice that is like “uhhmmm teehee..you actually owe us 1,000 additional dollars. don’t ask why :33″ and then I send them a detailed email including screenshots and time stamps of why that is not the case and they go “drats!! he got us!!!” and scamper back to their little hole underneath the roots of a big tree like “we’ll get him next month!” like if they can just catch me unawares I’ll accidentally pay them $1000

[lordelmelloi2]

we need help again...

I hate hate hate hate to make this post but we could really use some help. Mostly because I am uninsured until my job opens enrollment for its health insurance in June and on the eve of us signing the apartment lease tomorrow, I have contracted strep throat from my coworkers. Hooray!

I'm gonna try and get an appointment at the community health center doctor's tomorrow because I straight up don't have the money or time to go to the CVS minuteclinic across the street. They said it was $139 for a strep appointment without insurance, I said hell no... If I wait another day I can try and get a sliding scale $40 appt at the doctors. Right now is just stressful because we need money and because they didn't give us our security deposit back I'm not going to have enough money for my bills the beginning of the month. Plus there are literally THREE prescriptions I have asides from however much a Z pack will likely cost and one of them is an ointment from a compound pharmacy that I don't have money to pay for~!!!! 😭😭😭

Asides from that I am afraid that we miscalculated how much we have for rent for May so I'm trying to see about covering those costs so we aren't paying 3 days late into the month of May for our May rent first month. I really don't want to have a bad first impression with these people. They've been very kind to us so far with renting this new place but I don't want to push the limits.

I've already asked my dad for help but he wasn't able to spare enough for us to be totally covered + he needs me to pay him back by August. During the month of April I also applied to multiple credit unions for personal loans and got rejected...

So my total expenses are:

- Medication/Doctor's visit (including pre-existing prescriptions that I haven't had the money to pick up) ($160)

- Phone bill ($75 for this first month, should be going down next month as verizon charges my account with different coding)

- costs for rent/move (like hopefully $200 idk. I think we can swing the last hundred)

In addition: Because of my history of struggling with commissions due to my psychiatric disability, I don't really want to do this but if you donate a sum above $100 you can ask me to digitally paint something for you. Please no complicated requests or anything since I've been struggling with art for years now from depression/anxiety etc. but I would feel indebted to you if I didn't do anything. If this is something you'd like please DM me/send me an ask off anon.

* As for why we have been so financially fucked this month. Our current apartment complex (yes the one with the leaks, roaches, harmful construction noises etc.) has kept our security deposit which has us out $300 that we could've used towards the new place. They have fucked us over one last time.

My paypal as always is at: paypal.me/roseod

And please share if you can. Every reblog/donation of even a small amount is appreciated. Thank you all so much for supporting me.

[fiercest-eigengrau-skies]

Help :')

Hey, guys. I never do this. Honestly, I really hate doing this, but I honestly have no other choice at this point.

I'm currently under the threat of eviction following the unexpected loss of my job on the 2nd of this month. My apartment management knows about this, as I made sure they were aware as soon as I found out. I emailed one of the members there and never received an email back. Yesterday, after my maintenance guy came and unclogged my tub and sink, I was handed a 7 day notice. I was also charged late fees I wasn't aware of, as they didn't show up on the online rent portal.

I've faithfully paid my rent reliably since I've lived here (now for close to 3 years), been late once or twice, but I like to think I'm a good renter. However, my apartment complex is under new management and they're pretty tyrannical, but I've already unfortunately signed my lease. Despite them knowing I'm currently out of a job, they don't care whatsoever. (I'm fairly certain this is because they're remodeling all of the apartments and want me out to remodel mine.)

I have a job lined up as of yesterday, but I don't know when I'll start and it doesn't pay well. (My old job paid $17.50/hr full time and this one pays $11.60/hr + 1% commission + 1$ spiffs part time.) I tried to sign up for unemployment just before I got the call from said job, but I didn't realize my ID expired back in March and won't be able to get a new one until Aug. 23rd.

I currently have roughly $50 to my name for pet food for my cats and mice and for bits of general things, but will get a last paycheck from my old job next week for hopefully around $200 since it was barely a full week's worth (I got paid every two weeks). However, I need a total of $775 for rent, including (what I'm assuming is) $25/day for late fees. I know it's a lot to ask and I don't like to ask, but I'll really take whatever y'all can offer.

Again, anything is appreciated and if y'all could give me some reblogs to spread the word, I'd really appreciate it :')

[calveesmain]

Hey y'all's in the state of Kansas DO NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, RENT FROM EUCALYPTUS REALTY or ANY Property owned by LEW MCGINNIS

First, my experience with them;

I had a 6 month lease filed with an apartment building that ended in October 2021, I signed the paper confirming I would be out in october, I moved out in october 2021. I had an eviction filed against me November 4th, 2021. I just found out they succeeded in filing an eviction against me. I was not contacted regarding this at all, even though they had my active phone number on file and had called me after I moved regarding paperwork on an old roommate who'd moved earlier in the year. They filed an eviction on me, for an apartment I was not living in, after my lease had ended, and made zero attempt at contacting me. I did not find out until attempting to rent a house with a friend. Noone has answered the phone for me, or for the new renting agency, and my application is going to be denied. All because of an eviction filed against me. For an apartment I did not live in anymore. After my lease had ended. What should I do now? I would try to pay anything they're trying to charge if I could get them on the phone. It's not like I can fight it in court, they already won. Everything I'm reading just says "ask the owner nicely to get it removed" and I don't think that's possible now given what I've found since looking into them.

Because HERE'S what I found after a little digging;

The owner is a real estate person based out of Oklahoma, and owns multiple properties in Topeka, Emporia, and Wichita (I found the number 35 in Topeka, but I couldn't verify that or tell you how many in the other two cities) . I'm finding all these news artical now about how he's filed the most evictions out of any realitor in my county, how his properties have major upkeep issues (my apartment had a hole through the glass back door that was never fixed, and I have video I can dig up of a leak in my ceiling from the apartment above me pouring water into my bathroom multiple times a day. Not leaking, or dropping, POURING, and it only got fixed cause I was lucky enough to run into the handyman and speak with him myself, and I'm even luckier he was there to run into) how he's had mold outbreaks in both Topeka and Emporia due to maintenance neglect, literal tax evasion on those Emporia properties , bribing tenants for good reviews in Wichita (he later refused to pay), rent hikes (the whole reason I didn't renew my lease is because of a 100$ rent hikes + new fees), bedbug and roach issues among other things.

This feels completely unfixable. I'm going to have to grovle at this man's feet to fix the fact that HE EVICTED ME FROM AN EMPTY APARTMENT AFTER MY LEASE HAD ENDED and even then it's not gaurinteeed.

Y'all's should boost this cause I don't want anyone else in ks to get stuck dealing with this shit

Don't rent from Eucalyptus Realty or Lew McGinnus

[beardedmrbean]

Female long-haul trucker Maybi Izquierdo said she spent her birthday in jail last year after using her gun to defend herself at home against an aggressive male roommate. 

One year later, her case in California has been dismissed, and she’s reflecting on how the Second Amendment helped protect her from violence and the unexpected. 

"I think I cried," Izquierdo told Fox News Digital of her Sept. 25, 2022 arrest. "I wanted to talk to my mom. I wanted to talk to my dad … and let them know what happened."

Izquierdo calls Florida home but moved to San Bernardino, California, last year, explaining to Fox News Digital her trucking employer is based in the state, and she wanted to see if it would be a good place to live. 

WHY GUN OWNERSHIP IS SPIKING AMONG THIS DEMOGRAPHIC

She rented a room for a few months in a house owned by her friend's mom, not knowing one of her roommates, a man, would soon make her fear for her safety. 

Izquierdo said on the evening of Sept. 25, 2022, she had just cleaned the home she shared with five other people after a day of cooking and planned to take a shower and relax in her room. The male roommate returned home that evening and, according to Izquierdo, appeared to be intoxicated and began trying to strike up a conversation with the woman. 

FLORIDA WOMAN TURNS TABLES ON ARMED EX WHO SHOWED UP TO APARTMENT, KILLS HIM WITH 1 SHOT

"He wanted to talk to me, and I wasn't ready for a conversation. I was tired. I wanted to take a shower and go to my room. And he kept on bugging [me]," she recounted. "I think he was drunk because he was gone." 

Izquierdo said she thought she could duck his conversation by taking a smoke break outside or going back to the kitchen. But the man continued following her around. The trucker said she told him they could talk the next day when he "cleared his mind," but he became "agitated and a little bit violent." 

"I didn't like the way he just kept on walking up to me and just annoying me," she said. She attempted to enter a bathroom in the home to escape him, but that’s when the situation escalated. 

OVER A DOZEN WOMEN FEND OFF VIOLENT EXES, CRIMINALS AS GUN OWNERSHIP SOARS

"Once he followed me to the bathroom, then I was gonna close the door. He [held] the door. He didn't let me close the door. That's when I noticed that I was in front of maybe a dangerous incident," she said. 

Izquierdo said her other roommates were home during the incident but "got scared" and left her alone with the man. 

"When I went to close the door of the little bathroom, he [held] the door. That's when I noticed it was gonna go down. Something. He was gonna hit me or rape me or, or who knows?" she said. 

California allows residents to carry guns on private property without permits. Izquierdo had a concealed carry permit from out of state at the time and had been a member of the U.S. Concealed Carry Association for years, she said. 

She said she wanted protection after reading stories from the trucking community of women getting raped or killed while on the road. 

She bolted from the bathroom as he tried to break in and grabbed her gun from her purse. 

"I fired one round because he got on top of me, because he pushed me down, pushed me against the wall," she recounted. The round did not hit him, and other residents in the home had called 911 by this point. 

"He was such a big guy. Big, tall White boy," she said. 

Police arrived, according to Izquierdo and her attorney Andy Beltran, and arrested the woman. She was charged with discharge of a firearm with gross negligence, a felony, and exhibiting a firearm, a misdemeanor. 

ARMED WOMAN TURNS TABLES, FATALLY SHOOTS DAUGHTER'S EX-BOYFRIEND WHO HELD HUSBAND AT GUNPOINT: POLICE

Izquierdo spent the next 20 or so days behind bars until her sister reminded her on a phone call she was a U.S. Concealed Carry Association member, which offers self-defense liability insurance. She then connected with Beltran and his team, who argued Izquierdo was acting in self-defense when she pulled the trigger. 

"We initially took this case over from the public defender's office. Our first goal was to get Maybi bailed out, which we were able to arrange with the help of the Universal Fire & Casualty Insurance Company, which is the self-defense insurance carrier," Beltran told Fox News Digital. 

He and his partner then poured over evidence and worked with private investigator William Sera, a retired Los Angeles Police Department officer, who walked through the home with Izquierdo to replay every action of the incident. 

"The notable pieces of discovery were the 911 call, the surveillance footage, Maybi's statement to the police, witness statements,= and the statement of the aggressor," Beltran said. 

He added that he and the legal team spoke with the deputy district attorney assigned to the case to argue it was an case of self-defense. The deputy district attorney reportedly resisted dismissing the case, and Beltran demanded a meeting with the supervising deputy district attorney to argue prosecutors "had serious problems with their case."  

"The supervisor thoroughly reviewed the evidence that I discussed with her, and she stated that she would seriously consider our position. After a couple of weeks or so, the supervisor emailed me to inform me that the DAs office will be agreeing to dismiss the case," he said. 

The case was dismissed July 14, according to Beltran and court documents reviewed by Fox News Digital.

"Our advice to others is to refrain from making any statements to the police even if you think you are in the right. When the police showed up to the scene in this case, they spoke to the aggressor, and he communicated to them that he was the victim. When the police spoke with Maybi, they got certain admissions from her that led to her arrest. The officers made the arrest without considering the surveillance footage or 911 call," Beltran said. 

WOMEN GUN OWNERS SLAM BIDEN'S SOTU DEMAND TO 'BAN ASSAULT WEAPONS NOW': 'JOE, COME AND TAKE IT'

The USCCA was founded in 2003 and provides American gun owners with training and education on guns and self-defense liability insurance through its membership program. The director of The Critical Response Team for Delta Defense, the service provider to the USCCA, told Fox News Digital gun owners need to be prepared for such instances of self-defense and touted the group's self-defense lability insurance for exactly that reason. 

"Responsible gun owners need to be mentally, physically and legally prepared for a self-defense incident. That’s why all USCCA members receive lifesaving education and training, plus self-defense liability insurance," Jake Schmidt told Fox News Digital. "Our dedicated attorney network is deeply familiar with self-defense law and has extensive experience defending responsibly armed Americans."

The group additionally just launched the U.S. Concealed Carry For Saving Lives Action Fund, a 501c4 dedicated "teaching gun owners how to take action to protect their Second Amendment right at a state and federal level." 

Reflecting on her time in jail, Izquierdo said she immigrated to the U.S. from Cuba in 1997 when she was 11. 

"I come from a communist country, you know? You don’t have liberty of speech. They tell you what to say, how to think," she said. "I remember when I was a little girl, police used to come into your house, and if you had red meat in your refrigerator, you go to jail." 

Though the arrest last year was jarring for Izquierdo, especially since she was thousands of miles from her family in Florida, she took the charges in stride. 

"Every country has laws, we have a policing process. If you commit a crime or something happens like that, you have to go into an investigation. I'm the owner of the weapon. You know, it was common sense," she said, noting that while the incident was "sad," it "wasn’t the end of the world."

After all, Izquierdo noted, "I'm a very strong woman." 

"You never know when something's gonna happen in life," she said. "Being prepared is not just carrying a weapon only. Having people that if you have an incident … like this, you know that they're going to be there for you, from the beginning to the end. I am very happy that I made the right decision to have these lawyers and to have this [USCCA] insurance."

[breesays]

You guys, I did JUMPING JACKS in my apartment today. JUMPING JACKS.

This new place makes the old place seem like a bad starter boyfriend. Everything was mini - the stove, the dishwasher. Creaks and leaks. Bigger than our Los Feliz place but not better. The garage always smelled like pee because there were puppy breeders on the other side of the patio. We put a basketball hoop out there for Des but couldn't handle the stink, so we never spent time there. I know that was not necessarily in the management's control, but it speaks to the neighborhood. Also some of our friendliest neighbors moved out suddenly because management wouldn't address a mold problem. I don't know, maybe MANAGEMENT doesn't even know there are better buildings, better ways?

I did enjoy the direct view of Wisdom Tree, and our excellent cat-sitting neighbors.

The other day Des got the urge to dance to "Skip to My Lou" and he raced around the living room and I was filled with that remnant anxiety - but as I watched him dance so hard he was sweating and no one banged on the ceiling at us and the world kept on spinning, it dissipated. It was so great to see him just DO what his body told him to do and not have to reign it in.

In the old place we hung a tapestry with leaves on it - in this place we keep our blinds open to the trees all the time, and I meditated in the afternoon surrounded by sun dappled light.

I feel insulated here, safe. Desmond has pointed out that there are multiple sprinklers in the ceiling space. This building was well thought out.

I don't know how much bigger it actually is, square footage-wise, but it's at least 9 Manduka yoga mats bigger. That's an acceptable form of measurement, right?

And to think I thought we HAD to move to a ground floor unit. I looked at so many with low light and felt so depressed. The one I wanted second-most, for its space, had a fake-grass yard. They wanted to charge $70 a month for pet rent, on top of a $500 pet deposit. And we would've had to share 8 washers and driers with 100 units.

I know a house is like, the ultimate freedom. But this is a good landing place for now. I just wish we would've picked this place in 2021 instead of the Cahuenga one. But, struggle making a skilled sailor and all that.

There's so much closet space (two, one on each side of the room) that the IKEA wardrobe I've brought with me is filled entirely with workout and hiking gear. Pinterested me FLIPS OUT over that.

I have a show tomorrow, one I didn't think would ever happen again, so I better get to my beauty sleep.

If you want to come over and dance-slide in your socks let me know, there's space.

[tuliptiger]

I'm going to bitch about landlords and my particular place I live in. 3...2...1...go

All Landlords are bastards btwww I'm really grateful I went through a property manager and not the actual landlord for the place I live in. When I first got here all the other tenants were like "oh yeah hes pretty nice he used to be a teacher and rents out to people who need it" HAHA

It isn't funny that they had trust and believed he was a good or nice person because they will never stay that way towards their tenants. It's just unfortunate that they didn't connect the dots that hes a bad business man and a poor property manager of this rental property because if it was inspected it would be condemned. He's done no maintenance, it was built 160 years ago and the only new construction was when they split the house into as many apartments as possible for the couple days or weeks railroad workers would stop by and rest years ago.

I like my particular apartment but I know for a fact 2 of the apartments have black mold in them, there was a fucking propane leak (A BAD ONE) that I told another tenant about and had someone come out and fix it. Her heating bill is now 30 dollars cheaper in winter than it was in fucking summer.

He stopped by recently (thank god I missed him) and he chewed out the back neighbor for leaving pots of plants BY A TREE instead of the garden area, which is fucking a couple feet away. He also expects all the tenants to upkeep the property "because we live here" while this sucker has never sat down with any of us and discussed that in a professional way he just gets angry because it isn't done.

1.) Not in any of our rental agreements

2.) He doesn't give us a credit on our rent to do free labor for him

3.) If we did maintenance and damaged the property in any way we'd be charged for it, lose our deposits, or be evicted.

AND I GUESS the neighbor downstairs paid 4 months in advance and the neighbor UPSTAIRS complained about the big beautiful maple outside her window scraping it and she couldn't sleep. SO HE USED THEIR ADVANCE MONEY TO PAY ARBORISTS TO CUT IT DOWN INSTEAD of just fucking ooooh instead of trimming it im so mad about that.

So suddenly he is not the nice teacher who is so generous (he never was) and he wants to charge 950 plus first and last months rent for the fucking BASEMENTTTTTTT its so shit down there every has a key to that place and it sucks ass. It probably has so much must and mold and shit down there and if any of the pipes break that shit is done for.

Anyway anyway yeah I just dont want to live under someone else I hate it i hate the power imbalance he could be a normal fucking human being and get us all together to talk and help him maintain and fix the property but instead hes a freak and royalty about it. My walls have lead in them and I know this because i signed an agreement that said "they didn't KNOW if there is lead in the paint but we wont test for it either so acknowledge the potential threat" but if I repaint the apartment i lose my deposit sooooo. Fuck em :)

I want to rent half my house out when it's built but I want to spend money on a lawyer to write out a legal document that protects me AND the tenant. I also want to get good at balancing the house finances to keep the place well kept and not put the burden on the tenant. I want this shit to be mutually beneficial.

I think the place i live in now is his only "income" or something and he doesn't work right now which is fucked up. anywayyyy all landlords are bastard :)

[symptoms-syndrome]

Venting? Just don't want this reblogged so. No TWs apply. Comment if you want but like. I'm not in charge of u LOL u don't even have to read this if u don't wanna. It's just interpersonal drama.

My roommate is mad at me, I think. The good one, the shitty ones are always mad at me LOL. I'm trying to keep in mind that that's literally her problem and not mine to solve, but that's hard.

Basically, I had told her about my interview yesterday (which went really well!) And I was really excited about how it went. I shared how the executive director shared his salary with me, and how it's only $10k more than the base salary of the lowest paid employee. She says something along the lines of "oh, well then that's not much room to move up." That kinda annoys me, because it's nonprofit work so I'm not trying to climb any corporate ladders, and because the base pay is already way more than I (or she) make now, but whatever. I say that that's good. She goes on about how I should've asked if they adjust for inflation. I said that I trust this org to care about fair pay, because I do, the ED sharing his salary unprompted and making not much more than the base salary shows me that they care deeply, the rest of the interview showed me they care deeply about their workers, and I have a history of working adjacent to them for a long time due to my general. Having worked in a lot of local, queer focused nonprofits. She goes on to talk about her mom and how she got fucked over bc she was told in 1980 something salary capped out at $45k and how that was really good for then but now it's still capped at $45k etc. I'm like ok. She says smth along the lines of "I'm just very cynical and distrusting of institutions." And I said "I know," and I think that's what pissed her off because she's been giving the silent pouty treatment all last night and all of this morning. Which would've upset me a lot more a few months ago or years ago, but I've really tried bending over backwards to care when she does that and nah it never works so she's gonna have to work that out on her own.

I feel like she's gonna tell me later about how I hurt her feelings by saying that, but TBH I do not care. Not that I don't care that she feels hurt, but I do not care about her cynicism!!! It's unwelcome!!! 1. I know what I'm doing, I'm not stupid and it feels insulting she doesn't trust me to make decisions about my own career 2. She didn't even say anything like 'congrats on the interview' or 'im happy it went well' or anything!!! Straight to "what about the pay tho" when the pay is literally fine! It's very good actually! It's way more than both of us make bc we're both working retail RN. And 3. As I said like. We're both working retail. She's in her 30s and like. There's nothing wrong with working retail in ur 30s (TBH I might, if I don't get this job, and that would be fine w me bc I like the job I have) but it feels so out of place for her to be all up in arms about my salary if she's not making salary at all. Like I would still be annoyed if she was making like, $100k and was lecturing me about asking about this sort of thing but it's like. Why do you even care. More money than I make now is good, I would actually be fine with making even slightly more money than I make now. And not to brag but this isn't slightly more.

Plus the fact that like. It's nonprofit work. I'm genuinely not in it for the money. Ofc I have a base level of "I need to make enough to get my needs covered" but I'm not out here trying to be the next Elon Musk or conquer the financial district. This would be a job that would mean a lot to me and I'd be passionate about, and it's awesome that I'd be getting paid enough to maybe even rent a one bedroom apartment, eventually buy a house maybe, get my needs met and not need to worry about scrounging.

I just don't know what I'm gonna do if she cries to me about how me saying I know she's cynical and pessimistic made her feel bad. It's literally not my problem like at all IMO. She knows I'm not pessimistic like her and she knows her endless pessimism annoys me because I tell her like all the time. She complains and I'm like ok or I'm like "I don't rly think so" or whatever. And like I get she's Struggling With Mental Health™ but like??? Me too!!! It comes back to smth I said wayyy back here when I was like. This attitude I have is not just chance like I didn't just stumble upon feeling good about myself and my future it took a LOT of hard work and a LOT of challenging my own negative, pessimistic thoughts and I don't appreciate crabs in the bucket trying to drag me down to their level, even unintentionally.

I just also know she's like...mega sensitive and that's sooo not how I am. And I know some things I do can flip her emotional switches (like, for example, not caring a ton/being invested in the stuff she's into like movies or shows, she's a big cinephile and I am...not, I don't get a lot of the more artsy movies she shows me but I'm polite about it,) but like. I have made a lot of progress in deciding when that's actually my problem or my responsibility or my fault and in a lot of cases it really is not. And I can hope that by not chasing after her every emotional need she can learn to handle shit herself. Which, if I'm being mean I would say she should've figured out by now. She has made some level of progress with that though. It's just that she seems like. Very emotionally connected (?) to me, I'm apparently very important to her and her primary Person in her life she cares about (she's said as much, in different ways. She says she's never felt as connected w someone as she feels w me, which if I'm being honest might be primarily on account of us both being autistic) which can be honestly kinda triggering for me, but in a way where I get more...annoyed than upset? I just very much do not like codependency I very much need my own independence. Which I have, I didn't always have it but I do now. So now she's just dependent on me and I feel I've set real firm boundaries in terms of like. How much energy I invest and time I spend w her despite both living and working in the same place. At this point all I can do is like. Send out psychic "please get other friends u can hang out with" energies her way LMAO. Which she is working on it seems. I've been real busy so she had a movie night w a mutual friend of ours without me, though she had expected me to be there. I'm just like........aaaaa!!!

Plus I know I'm going to have to have a conversation w her about when new roommates move in, bc she can have a really hard time w change. She threw a real big fit when these roommates moved in and wanted to put a coffee table in the living room. I'm hoping she's better this time around. I think she can really lack...self awareness, but hopefully she's worked on that more? It seems she has. It's just hard to know what standard I can hold people to. I really shouldn't hold them to the standard of me, because I've realized that bar is actually kind of high.

[twojackals]

Time moves with or without you

Where to start.

We started the month with a rocky start when I pulled Anhur as my card of the week, and I already posted about that previously. Honestly after so many easy-going cards over a long period of time, I should have been more wary that something, at some point, was going to go down.

I admit I was not prepared for what followed.

I lucked out on a Nefertem pull for the week following Anhur and I gotta say, I really needed that. Healing and brightness were definitely a couple of things I needed in my life after going through the previous week (which was filled with tough but necessary things, not necessarily anything devastating it was just... time, as it were).

And I had a pretty good week, as anticipated. The card pulls, they are rarely ever wrong (and if I think they are wrong it's only because I may not fully understand).

I thought I was getting back into a rhythm of calm, but I was quickly put in my place the following week when the Sons of Heru came to visit.

A card alluding to Endings and Processes, and Protection along that path, was a tough pull, but it was made tougher by the actual events associated with it.

I don't think I could have planned for my direct manager's departure from my office. It was one of those relationships -- just a really, really good relationship, a strong bond of friendship and comradery and "us against the world (of the company, customers, etc)" -- that hearing about him leaving threw me into a spiral.

Now I already spoke about this in the Anhur post, so you can see that over there; however, the week of the Sons of Heru pull was the week he was leaving (on the Friday) and I didn't think much else of that card as a result. I admit to not going to my manager's going away party on that Friday because I didn't think I could bear it, and I also admit to being a little angry at him. I wouldn't have had fun. I would have started work at 6:30am and not ended up leaving the office until 8pm. No matter how much alcohol was involved, that would be way too much 'work'.

So I stayed home. And that was when the real ending began.

I received a phone call from our leasing agent. Our Landlord owns the condo and rents it to us through a realtor essentially. It turned out, the landlord wanted to come back and retake the condo, because our rent supposedly (it's a lie I'm sure of it) wasn't covering enough of the mortgage and it would make more sense for them to live in it.

Anyone who knows me, knows we have moved something like 10 times in 14 years. This was the first time we had been secure in a long-term place (for 3 years), and we were enjoying that. We had no intentions on moving, and we definitely did not have the money saved up to do it. Nevertheless, even though the leasing agent was being wishy-washy giving us the "maybe he will maybe he won't" non-committal garbage (a tactic to get us to leave so we will vacate and they will rent it out at a higher rate I'm sure, but unfortunately, when you have mental health issues, it works), and despite being broke, we decided to start looking for a place immediately.

We live in a place with 0.5% rental availability and the majority don't take pets. The ones who do, limit to one pet, and there might be parking for 1 car if you're lucky for an additional charge (sometimes included). Us? We have 2 pets and 2 cars. So take that 0.5% rental availability and just divide it a bunch of times, and that was our window. On top of that, due to my disability, I need to overlap rental apartments by 1 month (which means we will rent our current place and our new place for an entire month) in order to reduce what would otherwise be anxiety levels that could put me in the hospital.

It was frustrating to begin this search because honestly we were losing places before we even had a chance to see them. Most ads we responded to ignored us (probably they received such an overwhelming response), despite my doing up a beautiful rental resume with literally every detail in good standing that a landlord could ever want. The ones that did respond scheduled us in for viewings, only to contact me hours before and tell me we lost the place to someone else.

The first place we actually got in to see we a joke. We clearly explained to them on the phone that we needed parking for 2 cars. The woman on the other end of the line said "Oh, well, maybe we do, I will have to check... we can probably do something", and I said ok let's get in to see the place. Again they contacted me mere hours before the showing to tell me not to bother as it had been rented, but in a stroke of good luck we were updated a bit later that the interested party pulled out. Weird, but I'll take it. I then again reminded the person I was calling, that we needed parking for two cars and to please make sure that it was sorted.

She acted like she was speaking to someone from outer space. "Ohh," she drones, "I think we have nothing extra. I can check it. We can find out."

Angry, I admonished her through pointing out the fact that we clearly in no uncertain terms explained this was mandatory. What did she think we would do, sell our second car? We can't afford the rent without two jobs, and our two jobs don't start at the same time and are not in the same place. Public Transit is out for me due to disability. She then again started drawling it out "Well we'll check, we can check" and I said "Check... now." and she hurriedly said she would do so and check me back.

I waited awhile, way too long for someone who is actually a professional management company to check to see if they have a second parking spot available for us. What exactly are they keeping the records on -- napkins? Did she have to go around to each parking spot and see if a car was in it? (what if the people weren't home?) What could possibly take so long for what should have been a quick check of parking records.

Finally I texted her to let her know I'd have to leave in 10 minutes and needed to know for sure. She told me to come anyway as "I may not even like the place". That didn't fill me with enthusiasm but, again, for all the reasons posted above, we didn't have a lot of choice. So I take the drive down to Surrey, middle of the day, taking hours off work, to see this place where there 'should' have been two parking spaces available 'somewhere'.

I don't think I have to give you any guesses to where this is going to go.

Of course there were no fucking parking spaces, this whole damn thing is a bloody charade. To what end? I have no bloody clue. I arrive on site and can't find the rental office -- finally when I find it through texting, I am greeted by two very stern-looking individuals who have zero sense of humor and seem incapable of smiling even a little for the sake of basic human interaction, which my disabled brain interprets in the worst possible sense. On top of that, the one showing me the apartment can't stop staring at my damn headscarf and I start quietly wishing I had left it at home (but why the hell should I!).

The apartment was 'fine'. We could have lived there. But again, like I said, there were no parking spots. Even though I had asked multiple times for them to make sure there were 2. One would be available, one not. I asked, can we park in visitor's parking at least until a spot can be located? "Wellllll...." she droned on, "you're not supposed to."

You're the damn building manager, you get to set what we can and cannot do. You dragged me the hell down here. You figure it out! And basically that's what I told her, but in kinder words: we need help and need them to give us suggestions. Do they know of street parking around? (I couldn't find any that would be reliable myself). Can they make an exception to visitor's parking? Can they do anything that would warrant dragging a person down here in the middle of the damn day to see this shit-hole? (again the place is 'fine' but these places are definitely what some people might describe as 'ghetto').

So she walks me back to the rental office but stopped me well outside the door. The fact that I was not being invited in was a bad sign and I knew it. I resort to begging. I tell her we're amazing tenants. We have fantastic credit. We did not lose our jobs in the pandemic. We have never missed a rent payment in our lives. We are the best you can possibly get for this unit, all you have to do is find us a parking space.

With an expressionless face, she shrugs. "I can check again."

Because 'checking' worked so well the first time.

I asked her, please do not rent this place to someone else before you really do check. She agrees. "Ok, ok," she says.

I then go to my car and literally start calling around to other places. As I thought, they ghosted me and never followed up again.

-------

So that was a pretty big blog post, and I'm going to write the second part, just... in a bit maybe. In a separate post. Join me back here either later today or maybe tomorrow when I talk about the next step of this overall journey.

[giftedpoison]

Trying to have a general conversation about the homeless population with someone who works in a mental health one step program that's sees 20% of people not finishing the program and ending up in the homeless encampment down the road.

I'm just so appalled honestly. By how they talked about it. Saying those 20% choose it. And called the program a crutch. And saying they had 3 months to get their shit together after being inpatient for mental illness where everything was handed to them.

And I'm over here fucking screaming internally. Because there's so much wrong with it and I don't even know where to start.

Like first off the program helping with job search/housing. I doubt it. Because 3 months after being inpatient for God knows how long, is not enough time to find a job. It took me 2 months to find a job after leaving my job where I was deadass in charge of a whole department. AND THE JOB I GOT? A seasonal position for the holidays.

Not to mention even if they miraculously got a job that pays well guaranteed they would not find housing. I made 17$ an hour and no one would lease me a one bedroom apartment. I once was rejected from an apartment when I made 15$ an hour. Because I didn't make $18. The rent was $650 a month.

And she also said the program shuts people out of the program after 3 tries (which is 9 months total but obviously that would be sporadic) and they have to find somewhere else.

Which like they have a limited radius of where they can feasible travel so what the fuck there.

And when I said 3 months seemed short. She was like well they were in patient first before the 3 months so obviously it's short.

NOT obvious bestie babe. That's worse actually. But I was at work when I was texting this person and I also didn't feel qualified to speak on it knowing I knew little about the program and also wasn't that educated on homelessness enough to be considered credible.

She also said she thinks of that memoir Glass Castle that we had to read junior year of high school. And how the authors parents chose to be homeless so clearly people just choose it for no reason. (Which I don't remember much about it but Im pretty sure at least one of the parents were struggling with some sort of addiction)

And I made sure to be clear that is 100% a minority situation and that there's almost always differing factors involved. And she was like yeah it's just so insane and the program can't figure out why it's happening and that's what they are looking into.

meanwhile I'm screaming because I'm not even college educated and I can see the glaring issue like a bright ass LED light. But whatever.

[blue-kyber]

Everything's gone wrong today.

My car got broken into last night. I spent all day waiting for a tow truck. The thieves destroyed my ignition switch, and my drivers side door lock. I have no idea how much it's going to cost me to get both repaired, but I already know i don't have the money for that, even with the $100 deductible my insurance provides.

Many little things went wrong, I got charged too many times for a Lime scooter and Bird scooter I couldn't use, everything fell apart. I destroyed my glasses and my headphones in rage just now, because my audio interface wouldn't turn on - again - without being replugged back in, and the tea tag fell off when I pulled the bag out of the water, making it splash down with the string.

The audio interface was the straw that broke my back.

The past 6 months - and incidents from the past 10 years or so - have been building stress in me so high that I broke out into folliculitis so badly that I had to go to the ER.

It's 70% money stress. 30% I'm fuckin' lonely.

I have to deal with the bullshit of my life alone.

It sucks.

I quit trusting people for so long, I can't remember how anymore without thinking they're going to hurt me in some way - because they always do. And their disappearance is always my fault.

I never wanted to be like this. I don't know what the hell happened.

I'm a good person. I try, I really do, I just... I just keep screwing everything up.

I've been ordered by the doctor to take a vacation, but I can't because of money. And I can't escape my stressors.

I now have to pay $3000 for emergency dental work due to a bad infection that could have killed me.

I owe my mom $1250 - she loaned it to me so I could pay my roommate back rent, so my roommate would stop threatening to evict me. She said if I didn't pay her the past rent, and December rent by the 15th, when I go home for Christmas, I can't come back. She won't let me in.

I paid her past rent, now I owe december rent of $1250, and my new job I managed to get at the 11th hour and only had for 2 months keeps fucking with my hours giving me only 2 or 3 days, and then not bothering to tell me when they double book and kick me off the schedule for a day.

I owe my dad $700 from his loan to help pay my rent in July.

I owe the mechanic $500 for fixing my car in early June - when this whole fuck fest started.

I owe $100 on my Nordstrom card.

I owe $160 on my JC Penny card (for my glasses...that I broke).

I owe $225 on my Best Buy card for new airpods since I lost my old ones, and a web cam since my old one died.

(The store cards are to build visible credit, since I keep being denied credit cards and loans due to not enough visible credit. I'm paying my store cards on time. There' just a balance on them.)

That's a total of $7,185 that I need to come up with, and I just. can't.

I only recently got this job. I haven't had enough time yet to accrue a savings to take care of this.

The audiobooks I've auditioned for didn't pick me. I'm still auditioning.

All of this - and the little stuff that goes wrong all the time that lead to big things going wrong - are all exacerbated by my ADHD and autism. It always has been the source.

I'm done.

I've had it.

I can't do this anymore.

I've been struggling on my own alone for over a decade. I just can't anymore.

I want to quit.

I want to go away and just............. disappear.

I need $7 grand before I can take a vacation. I'll never be able to. That's impossible.

I'm done.

I'm fucking done.

[frogsandfries]

Anyway

I made my bed for the first time since I got it.

The body pillow is a great touch, imo, but my real trick is sleeping on top of the duvet, if you can--like now, it's hot outside. So I just had to touch it up from all the scooting off the bed in the morning. I also re-rolled my smaller blankets into a nice cervical pillow. It makes a good neck rest. Yeah, I know, lame. I'm giving the cats some time to wake up before I go out. They don't like to wear their harnesses, so they get to stay in the bedroom while I leave the apartment. They have water and their litter box, they'll be fine after they get breakfast.

My headphones also died from neglect, which is fine. So I'm waiting on those to charge, so I can play my endless background music.

I've been thinking also, about my inability to money. Like, I can give myself a budget, I can pay my bills, I don't have trouble being certain there's money for rent and my internet. But I haven't had a proper phone in months. I have the worst time like, buying stuff for the apartment instead of food, even snacks. Because apparently, all I will eat, when left to my own devices, are snacks. Which actually, yeah, that tracks. When I was living with my friend before coming to New Mexico, the only time I ate a Meal was if I got fast food, or they invited me to eat with them. But I mostly just bought myself snacks. Good thing I don't have access to a Menard's or Farm and Fleet. I don't know anywhere around here like that, that sells like, bagged bulk goods? I don't quite know how else to describe it.

I also don't know anywhere that sells a variety of pastries. I guess the core culture being mountain/desert-based, fattening pastries wouldn't really be a part of the diet like they would somewhere that gets cold. The culture around here is distinctly devoid of that Scanda-Germanic base that I'm used to. At least where I was in Arizona had a hearty Jewish culture; that was close enough to familiar for me.

Tangent, I don't understand hating people of Jewish decent, religious or ethnic. My dad tried to practice "color-blindness", which in the 90s kinda felt like the thing to do, so he didn't even teach me why black and/or Jewish people were hated. I sure wasn't going to learn it in school. Although, he may not have known either.

All I can imagine, from my limited grasp of history, is that their cleaning rituals helped them survive the plague better, but no, it went on before them. Money handling? But.......I don't understand that either. That they have the wrong idea of "God" and this Christ character??? But religion is fucking made up, dude. It's all fake and we can free ourselves from the shackles of feudalism. I contend, to this day, that Christianity in its current form is all about entrapping people in their own minds and imaginations and I will not have a part of it.

Anyway, I appreciate Jews and their food culture at the very least. It's familiar to me as part of the base-culture that I grew up with. Now I'm just rambling.

The cats are done eating. Time to check my headphones and get going.

Maybe if I'm going to start making my own onigiri to snack on, I can start making my own pastries? Making my own snacks, instead of just eating chips and ice cream with the occasional slow roasted cut of meat. I am so bad at food. I heard this lady in the grocery store saying something about Friday is chicken night and thinking how comforting it must be to have a schedule like that, to make the decision once and that's it. But how do you set that schedule, how do you choose?

[calveesmain]

For reference I'm ok Kansas

I had a 6 month lease filed with an apartment building that ended in October 2021, I signed the paper confirming I would be out in october, I moved out in october 2021. I had an eviction filed against me November 4th, 2021. I just found out they succeeded in filing an eviction against me. I was not contacted regarding this at all, even though they had my active phone number on file and had called me after I moved regarding paperwork on an old roommate who'd moved earlier in the year. They filed an eviction on me, for an apartment I was not living in, after my lease had ended, and made zero attempt at contacting me. I did not find out until attempting to rent a house with a friend. Noone has answered the phone for me, or for the new renting agency, and my application is going to be denied. All because of an eviction filed against me. For an apartment I did not live in anymore. After my lease had ended. What should I do now? I would try to pay anything they're trying to charge if I could get them on the phone. It's not like I can fight it in court, they already won. Everything I'm reading just says "ask the owner nicely to get it removed" and I don't think that's possible given the owner is a real estate person with at least 28 properties in Oklahoma, 35 in Topeka, and I can't find the numbers for how many properties they own here in my city. I'm finding all these news artical now about how he's filed the most evictions out of any realitor in my county, how his properties have had widespread mold outbreaks, major upkeep issues (my apartment had a hole through the glass back door that was never fixed, and I have video I can dig up of a leak in my ceiling from the apartment above me pouring water into my bathroom multiple times a day. Not leaking, or dropping, POURING, and it only got fixed cause I was lucky enough to run into the handyman and speak with him myself, and I'm even luckier he was there to run into) massive rent hikes (the whole reason I didn't renew my lease is because of a 100$ rent hikes + new fees) and bedbug and roach issues among other things.

This feels completely unfixable. I'm going to have to grovle at this man's feet to fix the fact that HE EVICTED ME FROM AN EMPTY APARTMENT AFTER MY LEASE HAD ENDED and even then it's not gaurinteeed.

My friend's current lease ends in a month. And I won't be accepted by then. So he's going to have to find an apartment without me. And I'm going to have to stay with my toxic ass mom in this horrible fucking house all because of an unjustified eviction I was never even notified about.

What can I even do at this point?

[jupiter-moonchild]

If my brain was in a fish, it would drown.

Here's a life update, seeing as I've been away for ... years.

I just logged out one day and didn't come back. No idea why. I did the same with Twitter, but I've hopped back on there over the last few months.

I don't even know where to start so it's going to be a ramble.

15th Dec 2017 my mum died, then 15 April 2018 my dad followed her. Dad died of a broken heart. And I'm not being romantic about it, his heart had some weird fault that caused a valve or a vein or something to burst, and nothing could save him. He was in the icu for almost 24 hrs before he finally died. I saw him before he lost consciousness, I told him I loved him, he said "I love you too, baby."

What followed was a shit show.

Family members (dad's side) who I will not name were awful to me, while I was still scrambling from the financial hit of two funerals on top of each other.

Other family members (mum's side) were left reeling from the loss and again, like when my brother died, I was in charge of holding it all together. I was literally falling apart while keeping them together.

Grief is a weird thing. I was already diagnosed with clinical depression back in 2003, and stupidly they thought they could just throw some tablets at me and make it go away. It made things worse. I stopped taking them.

For me, depression feels like standing on a flat shore with a rising tide. I can't move and sometimes the depression is only ankle deep, which I can deal with it.

Sometimes it's up to my waist and I still deal with it but with less confidence.

Then there's the times it goes over my head and I can't even swim.

Add in the grief of losing both parents just 4 months apart, and you have a fucking tsunami that I have no way of swimming away from.

Go me, drowning like Alice in Wonderland in her own fucking tears.

I didn't even get any ruby slippers out of it. I feel swindled but I don't know who by.

In other news, I have to move house. My landlord (long time friend) has had a financial hit himself and has to sell the house I've been renting from him for the last 19 years.

So, I've had strangers walking around in my home, measuring walls, talking to the estate agent, all while I sit on my sofa freaking out because "Ew, people".

I literally can't think of anything worse when you're a house bound hermit. Oh wait, maybe a mariachi band when you're trying to sleep is worse, but only a smidge.

On the upside, I'll be moving in with my boyfriend, in Hastings.

The downside is I'll be many miles away from my son and my best friend. Like, hundreds of miles.

Thankfully they have cars but it's going to be a wrench for me.

Also, wifi is a bit ropey down there, I can see me going to a lot of the internet cafes just to get a decent signal.

It's not all doom and gloom, at least I will be with my boyfriend, and his mum and his brother and his niece.... they live on a farm with alpacas. I've already decided I'll be making videos of the alpacas and how nuts they are. Also, I'll be near the sea.

When my depression was bad, my boyfriend would take me to see the sea, because he knew it was the only thing that seemed to help.

It's going to be a while before I move, as I still have to pack and I've not been given a date to vacate yet, so I'm in limbo, only packing the things I don't need straight away.

Boxes are all over the places and I keep putting throws over them to make them less annoying.

I really hope this is the last time I have to move.

In my life I have moved 13 times, this will be move number 14. Most places, I didn't stay for longer then a few years.

This has been the longest I have stayed in one place.

So yeah, It's been a rollercoaster without the fun and without the candy floss. Today I managed to get febreeze in my eye, so that was fun, Not!

I also dropped my Bobble-off on my foot and now I have a massive bruise. Go me, let's see if I can manage to yeet myself off the bed again because that's also become a regular thing thanks to my spine being a bunch of dried spaghetti.

Did I also mention I'm disabled, so the shit I have to deal with when I go to the shop can vary from someone calling me a 'dirty cripple' all the way to someone trying to steal my walking stick.

Thankfully, the people in Hastings are nothing like that, so that's another thing to look forward to.

To save myself from going completely nuts during lockdown, I logged back into youtube, then last year, I made a new channel for gaming.

I joined a minecraft smp and we make stupid minecraft videos.

My old 2006 account had a hideous name, which I have now been able to change to something less stupid. I have three channels. One is archive films, one is gaming and the other one is just general day to day weirdness.

Last year I stepped outside my comfort zone and went with my boyfriend to see Aurora. She is truly amazing. We saw her at the Brixton Academy, which is now under threat of closure.

I remember the first time I saw Muse, it was at Earl's Court, and that venue no longer exists.

Oh, almost forgot. 2017 I smacked my head on a doorframe and had to have my eyebrow glued back together at the hospital. I got a concussion from the impact which they said should go away after a few weeks, but it never did. Post concussion syndrome. Basically I have brain damage, and someone could show me a photo of me in some random place and I'll have absolutely no recollection of where it was taken. I have DVDs on my shelves that I have no memory of even buying let alone watching, so that's gonna be fun to watch.

To top it off, menopause came along and slapped my ovaries into the back of the net. "Here, you're having memory trouble, have a dose of this malarky to fuck you up as well." Why not?

If you thought puberty was bad, wait until you get the old menopause boot to the arse. One minute you're like "Aww pretty flowers" the next you're "I WILL FUCK YOUR ANCESTORS UP!" There's no in between.

Well, that's that for now, I'll be popping back in here again to vent spleen about the shit that's going on in my awkward life.

Toodles.

[smashedbylifes-blog]

i might be going to prison and i cant stop using drugs

I have an aggravated theft charge 3RD DEGREE FELONY IN TX that i go back to court for on march 27th.

This past summer like the day i got out of rehab my husbnad decided it would be a great fucking idea to take me with him to his crack head moms house and i was like wtf but of course i went anyway and like I hadnt seen her in years because we got into a huge fight before over drugs and shit . well as soon as i get there she pulls me aside and asks me for adderall and i told her like bitch i just got outta rehab wtf and she didnt give a fuck and to make this long ass story short over the next few months her and her boyfriend were stealing my Adderall and snorting them and i have no idea why i put up with it well she called me one night saying that her boyfriend hit her so i went and stayed the night and law and behold i snorted a xo with her and I was telling her about us selling our trailer and she had just moved out of hers into a apt and there was only 1600 dollars left on mortgage and they were going to reposes it and on top of that she needed 1200 for her apartment rent so I asked her why not just sell your trailer pay off the remainder of mortgage and pay your rent for a couple months and she told me "help me sell the damn thing then" and so I did but I decided to not give her the cash i paid her mortgage off and I made money orders for her rent and insurance etc well she being the crazy ass bitch she is didn't like that and then a month later I think she texts my husband like saying she reported the trailers stolen etc. and well she did and January 27th a sheriff knocked on my door and arrested me for the charge I spent 8 fucking days in jail because I was trying to help someone and I am honestly exhausted

[morguebabii]

Reposting this from my main page

Alright I’m boutta make a long ass post you can read it if you want or not I don’t really care.

But basically this post is just to sum up the struggles I’ve had for the past few years.

So first we start off in may 2019. I graduated. My parents were still together at this point.

About 2 months after that, skip to the 4th of July. We’re in Ohio. My mom, dad, sisters, we went to go meet my grandpa and aunt and cousins.

About that time we head back to florida my parents are arguing. We get back to florida. They’re arguing for a few months.

October rolls around. My dad filed divorce papers and regrets it so he assaults my mom.

My mom defends herself and gets a domestic charge doing so. (Fuck you florida, for arresting the victim and not the aggressor.)

Anyways, so they split up finally. My mom is doing better and is much happier without him.

My sisters are staying at my moms and my dads. They both have half and half custody since they’re fighting for the kids. (My mom deserves them, let me say that right off the bat).

I stay with my dad when they split up cause I knew the kids were gonna go with my mom.

My dad decides to kick me out, the only kid who did stay out of the kindness of their heart.

But so he kicks me out. I go to stay with my aunt in Ohio. DEA raids her place so I leave cause I’m not trying to be watched by police.

I go to stay with my grandpa for a little bit. Had the best time of my life on the road trucking with him. I was the happiest I could’ve possibly been.

Until my friend died. That’s when I went back to florida and everything really took a turn for the worst.

I went to go stay at a friends house. (I forgot why I originally quit staying there, honestly) I think cause there wasn’t really any room to start with. Idk.

But so anyways I leave there and then I go to my moms for a bit ( I make 🌶🍜 ) and so I did a photo set while I was over there. No, the kids weren’t there, they were actually at my dads.

So as you, the reader know, I’m going on about my business doing my normal work as usual.

MY DAD DECIDES it would be cool and funny to pretend to be some random guy so he can buy the photo set!! Guess what he did with it! Used it against my mom in court to get custody of my sisters! And because my dad has family with retirement funds and white privilege, it was gonna go his way regardless! Especially seeing as my mom couldn’t even get a lawyer cause she’s not even from this country (yes she’s here legally)

But anyways that’s not the point. So now my dad has my sisters and I’m here house hopping cause I want my mom to be able to have my sisters back. That’s all she wants. So I’m not going to go and ruin that for her. My sisters aren’t even allowed to talk about me during visitation. But so I’m house hopping. I get used and abused by like 90% of the roommates I had. Some used the rent money I gave them for alcohol. We got served eviction notice. So we hit the road for a little while we’re all homeless, fine and dandy. Then I go to stay at another persons place. Which they just straight up treated everyone in that apartment like a tyrant. So I stood up for myself and left and my roommate didn’t like that. Get offered a place to stay at this dudes place. He just wanted to fuck but I didn’t realize that. But he’d ask me for extra money and extra greens and was so damn entitled.

And so I left there because I got tired of being treated once again like I was supposed to obey a tyrant. So I left. And now I am here in indiana.

I posted that ^ months ago on Facebook and since I’m joining tumblr again, I feel like this is a great first post for a page like this.

fast forward to now. it's been a few months since I left Indiana, it didn't take me but 2 months to dip after i realized what was going on. i refused to be taken advantage of again so i left and decided it was time to put myself first. the people i was staying with in indiana ended up getting evicted from the place they were at and funny enough went back to the same exact city my boyfriend and i left from to go to indiana. << (for context, the guy we stayed with was originally friends with my boyfriend and i'm adding that because i don't remember if i put that in this already long post that i originally created months ago.) but i just think it's a bit funny how he told us to come move in with him and his wife up there when they ended up going back to our hometown anyways.. and no i do not talk to them still. i'm at my grandpa's and have been for a few months. i don't mind it here, but i would also like to get my own place although i shouldn't be on my own. i do need someone with me at all times, and i really do mean that. now is a good opportunity for me to get my shit together though and hopefully not need an adult to accompany me later on in life when i have nobody to depend on. because it all happens to us eventually. and i'm afraid of that. i can't fathom living without my mom, my grandma, or my grandpa. they've done so much for me and i love them. i really just wanna be back with my mom. if i can edit this i might come back to it later who knows.