#i thought about putting this under a read more but ive decided to actively be annoying

[red-dyed-sarumane]

kyuuyakus so good not only bc its like the only song heavy enough i can tolerate at loud volumes that can Almost drown out my coworker who never shuts up but ALSO for the points ive said 74times & will continue to,

aru sekai shoushitsu set us up for something super sci-fi, which. yes. the series very much is. but it was so technical and almost coldly indifferent. and then we're given the whole "old testament" in the title & the whole intro reading that isnt far from dantes inferno type content as my good friend emimin pointed out. we've got this new aspect added in and at the same time the lyrics let you know this character's still dealing with the complex technical stuff, from the terms down to the second kanji in ashita being incomplete as though because of a program error or interruption or some other similar reason.

and it feels even more different because theres just so much emotion in this one compared to shoushitsu. all the "bye-bye"s written in ways that express deep pain, the fact that the "see you tomorrow"s are cut off in the way they are the first time, and so drawn out the second time. the genre's not the spacey, distant trance type that shoushitsu is; its heavy, its intense, its got as much to it musically as there are details in the story. it's not just to sound cool, it's getting her state of mind across just as much as the spoken words. the world's being destroyed physically & metaphorically, everyone's suffered this over and over, they've parted ways so many times and its just never something they can get used to, especially not if they want to keep trying to end this whole loop, she's stressed past imagination trying to keep everything in check when its just not possible, & the intensity of the music just emphasizes all of that. there's less intense parts too, sort of like a forced focus on what she's doing that all too quickly builds to a panic. or the in the second part where everything gets so dire, the bell's tolling and she's running out of time, the piano over top of it giving such an uneasy feeling, and then right back to that heavy panic. theres so much emotional charge in it you know the long notes aren't just magu having fun with it; you just know they're meant as screams. i dont even think i can say screams for help, i think she knows shes past the point of help or at least that she's supposed to be everyone else's source of help that it's just stressed lamentation. she's doing everything she possibly can and its not working so all thats left is to cry out about it.

and then u have the rute furute wo a motif in here that's added in under the "fractal wa/kurikaeshita" parts that really hits harder now with kannagi for extra context. knowing that this is in the past & can't be changed and everyone else is using this as a point of reference. then u of course have the nami no ne wo motif, & the longest & clearest instance of it aside from maybe oumen mokushiroku so u know she's herself & gets to live, gets to keep doing this & watching other people die. (although i have absolutely no frame of reference for how long she lives given this is a past event & she doesn't seem to be present in the more current time songs. we dont really have that context yet) & then we're back to the rute motif on top of what still sounds like a jumble of nothing. but i also thought the rute line was nothing and here its a big deal so i cant wait to realize what this other jumble is, considering its also under the last ima kizanda parts.

theres just so so much to it, so many little intricacies that build such a full picture from whats otherwise one of the more simple series songs & i cant love it more.

[beannary]

If you want to talk about one of your aus, or au ideas, I'd love to hear about them! (*scoots my chair forward, looking hopeful*)

ok ive been wanting to answer this for a while but i kept on being so scared because ah! this is the one opportunity ill get to talk about my au! but then i realized that is stupid this is not gonna be my only opportunity to talk about my au

putting my ramblings under a read more because i ended up uh saying a whole lot about Donnie and his relationship with both Splinter and Big Mama

ok so basically ive been thinking a lot about the little prince au because it is fully my child and i adore it so much but ive been specifically thinking about Donnie and Splinter's relationship because I really want to write their relationship well

theyre gonna have such an interesting relationship. I know I havent gotten into how Big Mama ended up with Donnie but I am working on a comic for that so I'm not going to get into all of the details but Splinter does know that he left a turtle behind, he just thinks that the turtle he left behind died in the lab explosion, so over the years he has dealt with guilt because of that but overtime that guilt not necessarily faded but he comes to rationalize it because truly it wasn't his fault that Donnie got left behind, and truly there was nothing he could have done to save Donnie. But once he learns that Donnie is not only alive but that he's been living with Big Mama, Splinter's guilt is going to come back at full force because oh my god, not only is the kid that he thought was dead actually alive but he was raised by the woman who kidnapped Splinter and forced him to fight for years!

Splinter is going to be trying so hard to get Donnie to live with him once he learns that Donnie is alive, and he's going to be trying so hard to be the best parent for Donnie ever to like makeup for abandoning Donnie back in the lab explosion. or you know, not abandoning Donnie but that's what Splinter sees it as

I also want Donnie to have like similar reactions to leaving Big Mama that Splinter had. Like undeniably Splinter was incredibly depressed after leaving Big Mama, and like Big Mama turned this thing that Splinter loved, you know performing and being in the spotlight and entertaining!, and completely took away any agency that he could have to this thing that he loved to the point where he refused to take part in it just so he could have some sort of control over his life again

When Donnie leaves Big Mama (whether its by his own will or not I havent decided or figured out how he comes to live with the Hamatos yet) but he's going to go through something similar just a complete shut down where he abandons everything that he loved to do because he now associates them with Big Mama and her control over him if that makes sense? Like Donnie LOVES dancing and he loves playing music and listening to music! but these are activities that Big Mama actively encouraged and so naturally hes going to associate them with her.

I think one thing Donnie is going to throw himself into when he first leaves Big Mama is his inventing. Sort of like how Splinter would lose himself in his shows, I think Donnie is going to get into a sort of headspace where he just spaces out and doesn't have to think about anything while he's tinkering around.

Donnie and Splinter I think are also both going to want to try to prove themselves to each other? Splinter I think might end up being really overbearing while trying to makeup for all this lost time while Donnie is going to try to be the perfect son for Splinter just like he tried to be the perfect son for Big Mama

But like once they actually get to talking and once Donnie is more comfortable around Splinter I think these two are going to have a lot of heart to hearts just because Big Mama controlled their lives for so long, there's a lot of stuff to bond over and relate to

Idk Im not super confident in my writing abilities and Im trying really hard to portray Big Mama as a narcissistic parent but a lot of the stuff that I've read about how narcissistic personality disorder might portray itself in a parental role like centers heavily on the way that they pit siblings against each other and Donnie does not have a sibling! So I guess in a sense he would be both the golden child and the scapegoat which must make for a confusing existence. I dont even know if im portraying this well at all or if any of this is coming across in my writing but I sure hope that it is!

Another thing I want to get into is how Big Mama like reacts to Donnie's inventing because like having a super smart kid that can build you whatever you want is logically a very good resource to have and she does want him to keep building her stuff. But like inventing is messy! Science is messy! In an ideal world Donnie would be getting down and dirty working hard on engineering and botany, and like Donnie can sometimes get so focused on his work that he turns into a bit of a hermit till he comes out of that focused mindset and that's really the part that Big Mama doesn't like because like yes having a super smart kid does reflect very well on her, but having a kid whose constantly playing in the dirt or messing around with explosives and other dangerous devices and who occasionally goes completely MIA while working does not reflect well on her. So she's put into a position where she both wants Donnie to keep building her stuff but she also doesn't want all that extra messiness that comes with encouraging this interest of his.

Anyways im going to stop now because this has gotten WAY too long and I dont even know where im going with this! but it was so helpful to write this all out and just like getting my like thoughts you know written out so I can actually see if any of this makes sense asdklfjhsakdjh

[thekuraning]

Fic ask

4, 13, 20!

HELLO MY FAVORITE PROFESSOR ELM STAN THANK U FOR THE MEMES!!! hey actually these are all ones i havent thought about so made me put on my THINKIN CAP. and hey actually actually this got really long really fast so im PUTTING IT UNDER A READ MORE!!!

4. a story idea you haven't written yet

Ok so like. I've got these two ideas kicking around in my head from time to time that I'm like. Still kind of workshopping. One is a fanfic and one is an original fic. But basically I've had in my head since forever (10 years of Big Thinking) about a big Digimon sort of odyssey that originally started as a Pokemon x Digimon crossover where I took the Rocket executives and shoved them into the digital world. I have a whole world built for it already and a central sort of issue/theme revolving around a power struggle between the Demon Lords and the Royal Knights. The Royal Knights control HUB City, which is the major settlement in the continent, the Demon Lords control the Dark Lands, and kind of like usual they all want to wipe each other out. There's eventually a viral sort of glitch that starts to deteriorate the digital world and jumps to the real world.

Part of my problem is I've wanted to make it a comic or at the very least an illustrated fic and part of the problem is I'm trying to decide if I want to keep it as a crossover or just slap some new names onto the execs bc i gotta be real, the pokemon world and other pokemon characters. do not feature. at all.

its really just an excuse for me to give petrel a digimon.

anyways they all have full evolution lines planned, i've got a few major story beats, plot points, and the major final twist decided on. i also have 5 amvs that i play in my head on a loop when i drive to and from work.

also in this fic some digimon are gay (stingmon and flamedramon makeout sessions when) and trans (crusadermon, trans queen) ive decided

i think ive posted old art before extending the au to some characters and for my perfworld mutuals if youve seen my sycamore + dukemon art before that specific dukemon is also from this au. ive also got a fic i did publish where i workshopped a little bit of HUB city & a few side characters

i am now realizing i meant to also talk about the original fic i have planned and that one is a short story about a serial killer who murders hitchhikers picking up a hitchhiking serial killer and that one is less planned out but i know they sloppy kiss in the end

13. a fandom you're thinking about writing for

so like besides pokemon and tiger & bunny & digimon there's none i actively have fic ideas for, but some fandoms I think I'd like to revisit are Sonic and Zelda. Actually I had a Zelda fic I abandoned back on FFNet that I'd like to take another crack at one day where the premise was it was a modern setting based on the OOT/TP Hyrule (mostly OOT) where magic and fairies and such are regarded as superstition sort of the same way they are now, and the wondrous races (Goron, Zora, Kokiri/Korok, etc. even the Sheika to some extent) had all died out, leaving pretty much just the human races like Hylian, Terminian, Gerudo, etc. (In this case Termina is legitimately a neighboring kingdom/country and not limbo/purgatory ok??) And the kicker was Link was like. a hardcore atheist. but i think i remember people getting mad at me bc i made his legal name "Mahas" which I MUST IMPLORE YOU. THIS IS CANONICALLY HIS NAME AS OF SKYWARD SWORD. BELIEVE IT OR NOT THERE WAS AN ATTEMPT TO BUILD A PSEUDO LANGUAGE IN SKYWARD SWORD. WE KNOW HIS NAME IS MAHAS BECAUSE IN THE BEGINNING WHEN FI IS JUST CALLING HIM LINK AND NOT MASTER LINK HER VOICE LINES ARE EVER ONLY MAHAS. ONCE SHE BEGINS CALLING HIM MASTER LINK ANY TIME IT APPEARS ON SCREEN SHE SAYS "MAARI MAHAS." SO IM RIGHT OK FUCK OFF IM RIGHT. DIE MAD FFNET. DIE. MAD.

ahem.

im normal now.

anyways yeah i'd like to write for elder scrolls again too i think but like. something more original than the supernatural/TESIV Oblivion retelling crossover i tried once.

You can find that one on my ao3 but im not linking it.

20. in what year did you publish your first fic?

In the year of our lord 2005 (pensive emoji)(raised fist emoji) I published a... fic of some kind to FFNet.

You won't find it anymore, I deleted it a long time ago! I'm not sure if it was 'Rocket Road Trip' or 'The Rebellion,' but it was one of those. I used to write a ton of OC team rocket fics, and this was back in the day when the Rocket Executives had no name so you either thought there was 1 guy exec and 1 girl exec or you thought each exec encounter in GSC was a different person, and that was me. So I gave them all names and threw them into a truck together and i think in the very first chapter they were leaving the Team Rocket HQ and they ran over and left to die the OC who would later go on to be repurposed into Proton except his name was Steve then and he was a special classification of trainer class that I called a "Random Rocket," and the thing about Random Rockets was they all had very generic names (Steve, Bob, Juan, I think there was a Nancy once but she never got to show up in a fic or rp?) but the OTHER thing about Random Rockets was no one knew what they looked like because canonically their faces were all censored with a big ass mosaic effect (this was written, not draw.)

anyways farla cussed me out on 3 or 4 different fics back when she used to cuss out literal children so I deleted all my fics from 2005 - 2008 and then I deleted more of them when I went to college.

don't be like farla.

edit: self-plugging my old FFNet account for the lulz. yes it is i, the original author of Slowpoke Tails and Koffing Fumes.

[cherubcallremade]

PLS I LOVE HEARINV ABT PPLS SPIDERSONAS!!!!

(explodes) ok uhm. uhm. GRABS HIM (well he uses he/she)

this is martin riley (born mary james riley yes this is important) and "his" spider name is spidershfiter :) he has DID but he's from 1976 so he has no clue what the fuck that is and nobody will tell him because MPD isn't even in the DSM until the 80s.

he was generally a kid who stayed by himself bc he spent all his time outside of school helping his mom out w the rooms that she rented out in their home (her dad was a mechanic and they were outside of town, so it was normal for someone who needed to get their car repaired to stay overnight etc etc) BUT he was best friends w a boy named peter parker :) peter called her MJ.

IM GONNA PUT STUFF UNDER THE CUT. UH. TW FOR CAR CRASHES/MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH/ ITS REALLY LONG SORRY IVE BEEN THINKING ABT THIS FOR WEEKS.

and then peter got bit. and riley found out about spiderman by complete accident! but he promised peter that he'd never tell a soul about it. so that went on for a couple months, with peter secretly acting as spiderman and riley being a big supporter of it but still dealing w his system & frequent loss of time etc etc

THEN. uh. there's a car accident. and peter dies, riley lives, and he doesn't quite know what to do with himself? but one of the thoughts in his head gets louder and louder demanding that he needs to be spiderman because without peter there IS no spiderman. nobody knows that spiderman is dead. riley does not want to be spiderman. but He Does:

nick forms as a trauma response to the crash. he wants to be spiderman. and goddammit he's gonna BE spiderman. so he starts to force himself to front and reverse-engineers all of the spider tech that peter was using to use for himself. and it works! he's able to be spiderman without having any powers, it's a miracle. but he's doing his best to hide it from riley. imagine hiding your secret identity from yourself.

meanwhile riley is going to college and getting an english degree. he picks up a job at his college library doing copyediting for other students. then someone from a big scientific organization comes over and is like "hey we need copyeditors. you're good at your job. c'mere." so he gets hired at alchemax, not for anything cool, just to copyedit people's papers/research/etc to make sure everything is clean and comprehensible.

that's when he meets jonathon ohnn :) who is a scientist as part of the budding space program but really his passion is alternate realities! he writes a lot. and riley keeps getting his papers. so eventually they decide to close the gap and start working one-on-one.

(i'm still debating what i want jon's backstory to be, my main thought is MAYBE Vietnamese family that immigrated? i don't know i gotta do more research on that)

they fall in love and start living together :) jon learns abt riley's system and tries to be as adaptable as he can towards it, which amazes riley bc he's never had someone in his life active acknowledge it.

THERES SOME EXTRA LORE ABT THE SPIDERS JUST KNOW FOR NOW THAT THERE ARE THREE WAVES OF SPIDERS. the original (bit peter) the spy (bit riley. spoilers oops) and the brute (bit eddie/venom and carnage bc aliens do not exist in my timeline but fucked up science does!)

riley gets bit when nick feels really bad about the "neglected" spiders and when trying to feed one gets bit. that gives them powers. the thing is w the spy powers is that a majority of them focus on stealth/reading people/etc. so like for example riley's webs are laced with a mild amount of hallucinogenics that it acts as a "truth serum" etc.

woahh now she's spiderman (SHE DOES NOT WANT TO BE SPIDERMAN.) nick is spiderman yayyy he likes being spiderman.

and uh! then jon dies. riley wasn't there. he was supposed to be at work that day but he called out. and he gets a phone call. jon's dead. he dies and it's never clear how he dies. his funeral is open casket and riley never gets full closure because his relationship w jon was never seen as what it actually was.

he stops fronting. nick starts fronting. nick is fronting for months. then an anomaly shows up in his dimension and he has to fight it, peter b shows up, is like "hey kid you need a part time job?" and nick's like YEAH I WANNA SEE THE OTHER SPIDER PEOPLE!!! PLEASE!!!! so into the multiverse they go!

but it had a strange reaction on riley and his system. basically, now, whoever fronts, the body shifts into (thus the name spidershifter).

(small image wip etc)

they get assigned on spy missions because all things consider, it's impossible for them to cause a paradox because nick/mickey/vanessa/etc do NOT exist in these universes! (but what about riley? you may ask. aren't there other rileys?)

here's the thing about riley: he is dead in most universes. he's a canon event. he's the uncle ben for johnathon (if he lives long enough to see him at all). he's supposed to be dead. why isn't he? because he became mj. so he's an outlier from a realistic timeline shift and he hates it. he hates it so much but. he tries to find jon in the universes that spidershifter is sent to spy on. he just wants to see him. talk to him, maybe.

the spot happens and uh why does he sound like his dead boyfriend. why does he remember him. why is he talking to him. Help. (my hc is that when 1610 jon became the spot, he fused with all other versions of him. there is no other jon. there is just him and he remembers all of them)

uhm and that's all i have rn bc that's where the movie ends and i dont want to go into detail talking abt specific alters or interactions w specific characters unless asked. bc this is already so much. im so sorry.

TL;DR: this is spidershifter vvvv

[frostbite-the-bat]

goofy ass ms paint werewolf eating a mango as a divider between the rant under this bc i do not wish to be precieved rn but i still wanna rant some thoughts out

random lovely guzma urge to delyeet everythin on myne site bc not only did i make it for petz things back when i was active between petz folks and got some encouragement there and ended up never finishing petz things for it, but i also feel horrible and uncommited for it being hosted and made on weebly and for bein too lazy to yeet my shit over to neocities just cause that shit gives me a headache and instead of getting inspired by people i feel jealous and unwelcome

also been working on my sleep schedule its a bit better now and im like. better in general now..? idk how long i can keep this up but getting up early makes me just. so tired like all day urgh i do not understand how i used to keep myself up when this tired. tired tired. brain empty. hard to do shit for long. defo needs more breaks but i swear to god everything feels like its frying my brain but i got nothin to do indoors. guess i can go draw traditionall but i end up putting such high expectations on myself i just yeah. fuck it up. get stressed. not fun. i need to stop thinking about others bc i keep thinking i put effort into smthn i need to show it off.like if i wasted time here i might as well. no this isnt showable it sucks damn it

even stuff i do draw purely for myself as self indulgent shit i go urhh this aint right

oh and then i try doin a lil excercise so im not like. physically diyng but my god that tires me out like instantly. but its okay, baby steps.

dont know what sort of place i am in mentally. the type id prolly spiral a bit over if it werent nice and 2 pm. wacky stuff. i wanna maybe do some stuff but ugh my brain just. isnt big thoughts when im tired. but honestly when am i not tired. and i am getting art done but i cant get myself to draw all day again ill end up in pain again my hand rn already is being a bit of a bitch

uhhh played pokemon in the morning but i need better pokemon already. i fuck up every raid (raids i need so i can get better mons easier) (and my shiny ralts i want easier)

hmm maybe i need a break from stuff but what kinda break what even is relaxing in my case? and "break from people" is a slippery slope of self isolation i always slip into. bit difficult to figure myself out

also, different thing, but ive been considering this for a good few months now and kinda ignoring it but i read one (1) thing and i m intrigued to do more n more research now but man do not like how moral ocd clicks perfectly with a lot of my most common issues . so i guess thats a thing to consider going into (like research) . if it helps .bc dear god i am Sensitive

but uhmmm yea sleeping better now ig like i went to sleep around ONE. my usual sleep time was 5-6 am a while ago !!!!!!! 1 am has always been my kinda usual time. man and i used to do that even when i had school and i *functioned* with less sleep. how did i do that. uhm. not well i guess

but yeah. things.. arent feeling right and i kinda wanna wipe my brain. also the neocities thing seems to be a part of my issue of (ppl who dont care abt me) r gonna thingk i suck bc i dont do (this that i find difficult) (coding) i will be exploded forever and shunned andhated

uhmmm what else yea last thought i forgot as i was gonna type it and the last thing i am deciding not to share anyway bc Shame so hooray

guy who is eeypy tired

i am just realizing how like tired i am but if i go nap ill make it worse so uhmm cope i guess lmfao at least it keeps me going to sleep at a more regular hour but like srsly brain we got around 8 hours of sleep why are you tired we used to get less and function fine. maybe not as good but we functioned

[doxiedreg]

Decided to draw all the fish I have lost so far and name those that didnt have names. I think it helped a little..Keeping fish can be so fucking rough..

Causes of death of each under the cut:

Pandam: First fish to die, cause unknown. Happened like a week after purchasing them and the first group of corys. Kept away from the others while alive and was lethargic. Found him severely injured one morning (i think the pleco or snails might have attacked him in his weakened state) put him seperate in a bucket of water and a few minutes later he was gone. burried him (Like all the other deaths except the shrimp and one of the rasboras) in one of my flower pots.

Lil orange: first was flashing herself against plants and decor, her and lemon were acting strange for a long while before i finally figured out it was worms (caught them hanging out their anusses one night with a flashlight) however the worms had injured her and weakened her too much and eventhough i medicated, she succumbed to them and secondary infections/injuries.

Nuv and Dix: freak accident that im still not sure how it happened. They both ended up lodged between my filter sponges. I found one of them still alive, got them out of the filter and put them back in the water. However they had suffered too much stress and injury and could no longer swim. Put them in the bucket so they could at least die in peace and they passed a few minutes later. Then for a couple of days I noticed that another one was missing. I could only see 8 while it should have been 9 after that death. Then next filter maintenance i found a slimy fleshy heap attached to one of my sponges which i assume used to be the missing rasbora that i must have missed when i found the other one..

Mom shrimp: White ring of death. I assume it was all the waterchanges i did in a short amount of time because of the medication. She had eggs who were already quite developped. I left her in the tank to be eaten by the others so her nutrients could be recycled at least

Lemon and most of her babies: Lemon finally gave birth but most babies were stillborn and then eaten by the other fish. at least 3 fry survived but 2 are now stuck behind the filter with no way for me to get them out of there so they will probably starve to death and i feel absolutely awful about it..but at least one baby is still alive and growing, swimming around the tank grabbing lil food scraps here and there. Tentatively naming them lemon baby

After giving birth, Lemon still remained very swolen. I first thought that maybe she still had some babies inside her but even days later she was still swolen. She developped a dark spot visible under the skin and while at the beginning she could still swim fine, near the end of her life she was constantly at the surface and couldnt swim well. I tried giving her salt baths and while at first she acted more active in the salt water, it didnt really improve her situation. I was thinking of putting her down but didnt have a container to mix the clove oil in yet..then one morning I found her dead, the black spot gone but her insides looking quite red. I suspect the black spot was either a tumor or a cyst filled with blood that then popped and she internally bled out. Im still not entirely sure what caused it, maybe reproductive cancer?? Dont think it was worms again because i didnt see any. she didnt eat or poop from what i could see either.

Loki: The fish i put down with clove oil today. He had been breathing heavily for a long while. He was also paler than the others and less active. He held his fins clamped and was less reactive and seemed to struggle with getting around. When the water was medicated before i didnt see the symptoms improve and the other panda corys are active and looking healthy. And corydoras are very sensitive to salt from what ive read so i couldnt try that route. So…I decided to put him down..when i caught him in the net he struggled like crazy which made it even harder on me. I even thought about letting him go but then he would just continue to slowly waste away..and i didnt want him to suffer. So i put him in the bucket and added the mixed clove oil. he slowed down and then eventually lied on his side, i added another higher dose and then he was gone. Waited 20 minutes to make sure he was really gone and then burried him. I didnt see anything obviously wrong when I examined him before that so its again very hard on me. making me doubt myself.

Keeping fish can be heartbreaking as you cant take them to the vet or even examine them yourself easily since they are so small. So unless it's an obvious external fish disease (like ick or mold) you don't know whats wrong with them and you can only throw general medication at them in hopes it works. I will be okay..I still love my fishtank as I enjoy watching it but it sure is a cause of stress and worries..

Just..had to write that all out. If you read it all, thank you..I just..am trying my best to cope..

[nony-bear]

Matched (Part IV)

This blog and ALL posts are for people 18 + ONLY.

I do not give permission for my works to be re-uploaded or copied in any way or form including translations.

Photo Found Here // Banner Made By Me

Dividers Found Here & Here

Parings: Alpha Bucky Barnes X Omega Reader

Warnings: ABO dynamics, gross alpha male behavior (not by Bucky), insecurities, slight medical talk, angst maybe?

Word Count: 2384

Summary: This is part four of the series Matched. The reader and Bucky begin participate in new tests and both have their second phone call. 

A/N: Part IV is officially here! There is something super exciting at the end of this chapter so I hope you’re all ready because I definitely am! I’m so excited that this story has been doing so well and progressing the way I’ve been dreaming about for ages! A super special thanks to @dadplease​ for beta reading this for me! If you don’t know Eun please go check her out she’s an amazing writer, and just an incredible human being! If anyone else is interested in beta reading for this series just let me know! Any likes and reblog or sharing of any kind would be greatly appreciated but as always this blog and all of its content is for people ages 18 and up and never do I ever give permission for my works to be re-uploaded or copied in any way or form including translations.

Series Masterlist

Part V

You groan as the phone rings loudly through your room, the sound echoing off the walls and making it impossible even to try to ignore it and return to your blissful sleep.

Rolling over, you shove your head under the pillow, trying to block it out, wondering what would happen if you simply didn’t answer or participate in today’s agenda. After last night’s call, you aren’t feeling particularly motivated, and regardless of the current circumstances, you’ve always been more of a night owl anyway.

After a few more seconds, you realize the ringing isn’t going to stop. Groaning again, you reach for the button blindly, refusing to open your eyes. Somehow you find it, hitting it a tad aggressively.

“Hi, Y/n! This is Luke! It's 8 am, so this is your wake-up call, and I will also be taking your breakfast order!” the overly chipper man sings over the phone.

“Good morning,” you yawn, not even being able to pretend to be half as awake as he is.

You order your breakfast, which Luke tells you will arrive soon with your itinerary, before you begrudgingly pull yourself out of bed.

Deciding to shower and freshen up for the day, you put some clean and comfortable clothes to wear, unsure what the day will exactly hold. If it is anything like yesterday, I won’t have to worry about looking presentable for anyone, you think to yourself.

As you shower, you let the hot water run down your back to keep you relaxed. Yet, you still can’t help but let your mind dwell on last night. The shock still floats in your thoughts as you recall the way Ben spoke and acted. You didn’t think they would let people like that into the program, and it’s waivered your confidence. Not that you were all that confident to begin with, but you were at least hopeful. However, now you’re just grateful for that satisfaction money-back guarantee the program promised.

After finishing up in the shower and redressing, you are sitting in the chair in your room and scrolling through your phone when there is a knock at the door. You’re internally thankful for the food’s arrival but also unable to help your curiosity about today’s activities.

When you open the door there is a tray left on the floor with your food and an envelope labeled Saturday.

Shuffling the food around his plate with his fork Bucky sighs as he waits for Steve to answer the phone. The punk basically had a heart attack this morning when he realized Bucky never called to check in with him last night.

“Buck?!” Steve says loudly as soon as he answers.

“I’m alright, I’m alright,” Bucky sighs and rolls his eyes.

Steve audibly sighs in relief. “What the hell, you were supposed to call me last night?”

“Hey- language, Steve,” Bucky chuckles, not being able to stop himself from teasing his best friend.

“Oh, shut it, Buck. You’re lucky I’m not there to kick your ass.”

Scoffing, Bucky laughs louder. “Whatever, punk. Look, I’m calling you now. Are you happy or what?”

“Well, how are things going? Everything seems- you know… okay?” Steve asks warily.

Bucky shrugs before he realizes that Steve can’t see him. “Yeah… the room they’ve got me set up in is nice. Everything seems like it checks out, nothing to be worried about.”

“Have you met anyone yet?” Steve asks curiously.

“Only one, but I didn’t get to see her- we talked on the phone. She seemed nice enough but nothing more,” Bucky tells him truthfully. “I don’t know. Maybe I’m just too far out of practice.”

“Nah, Buck, you’ll figure it out. I’m rooting for you.”

“Thanks, pal.” Bucky smiles, and he appreciates Steve’s confidence but is now worried about letting him down. Getting Steve all worked up just for Bucky to return empty-handed? Sure Steve would understand, but Bucky would be left with a pang of weird heavy guilt knowing he worried Steve for nothing.

Once Bucky is able to get the only other 100-year-old super soldier he knows off the phone, he searches for his itinerary, preparing himself for whatever today shall bring.

FRIDAY ITINERARY

10:00 am: Event #1 - Laboratory Scent Matching

Participants will be individually escorted down by a program assistant to a laboratory testing pod. Once in the pod, each participant will find ten scent samples. Some samples have been collected from other participants, and others are from past participants to establish a baseline of data. When the participant presses the red button by their door, a program assistant will escort them back to their room.

11:30 am: Survey

After opening and testing each sample, participants will rank each sample via the survey they will receive in the email that they provided on their application forms. This survey must be completed, or the participant will be removed from the program. This survey aims to gauge scent compatibility and potential matches. This is only one of the data points used in the final matching calculation.

12:00 pm: Lunch

3:30 pm: Event #2 - Attraction Testing & Survey

Participants will remain in their rooms. Each participant will be sent a survey to the email they provided on their application forms. In this survey, participants will find cropped images of various facial features. The photos used are not of participants but have been chosen based on similarities to participants. This survey must be completed, or the participant will be removed from the program. This survey aims to gauge the possible physical attraction levels between participants. This is only one of the data points used in the final matching calculation.

6:30 pm: Event #3 - Pairing Call #2

Participants will remain in their rooms. Once all participants are served dinner, the phones in their rooms will ring. Participants will be connected to another participant on the line. Pairings are made based on the data collected on intake forms regarding designation, designation of interest, personality, values, interests, and hobbies. Participants will not be able to see one another and may choose to reveal any information they would like. Consider this a true “blind” date over your provided dinner. Participants are welcome to remain on the line until 10:00 pm.

10:15 pm: Survey

After participants have finished their pairing calls, they will be sent a survey to the email they provided on their application forms. This survey must be completed, or the participant will be removed from the program. This survey aims to gauge the success of the call and whether the pairing is a potential match. This is only one of the data points used in the final matching calculation.

End Of Itinerary - Participants may enjoy free time in their rooms.

“Looks like it’s going to be a long day….” Bucky mutters to himself before sighing and heading to the bathroom to get ready for the day.

Anxiously, you wait at your door. It’s precisely 10 am, and your curiosity and nerves have gotten the best of you already as you feel as though you have been waiting for a lifetime.

Finally, there is a knock at the door, and you swing it open without hesitation. Luke, your only form of consistency in this whole endeavor is waiting for you.

“Hi! Are you ready?” he asks, smiling when he sees you so excited and obviously having been waiting for him.

“Yes! Thank you!”

The two of you make small talk about how you’ve settled in, but you choose to leave out the details of your awful first call to save yourself from embarrassment.

Eventually, one set of stairs and a few hallways later, you enter the facility’s more medical and laboratory-looking area through two large clinical-looking doors.

“Don’t worry- I know it looks a little scary, but it’s just set up this way in case we’d have a scent leak or something,” Luke says as the omega to omega senses you both share tell him you’re nervous.

Finding the right pod, Luke tells you to head in and hit the red button once you’re done, assuring you he’ll be there as soon as you need him. Again, you thank him for being so kind and helpful before going inside.

The pod is a small room that is more akin to a closet. There is a small desk with a nice comfortable chair, and on the table lies some scrap paper, a pencil, and ten small pill bottle-sized containers filled with some sort of translucent liquid, the thickness of corn syrup, and just barely tinted blue, inside them.

You walk over and sit down in the chair, studying all the samples and looking for any noticeable differences besides the labels numbering each one. Then, picking one up, you bring it closer to your nose and realize you can’t smell anything, noting that the containers must have some form of odor protectant to prevent the scents from mixing too much.

One by one, you take your time opening each individual container and taking in the scent of the mystery liquid inside. Each scent is different from the others, some sweet, some musky, some smokey, and so on, some even having a pleasant mix of the bunch.

Knowing you will have to rank them shortly, you try to determine what order they will fall. You quickly determine which ones to put very first and very last. And after deciding on the remainder of your lineup, you pull out your phone to complete the survey.

Before you hit the red button at the bottom of the page, you look down at the container labeled with the number eight again and unashamedly reach for it. Opening it, you take one last smell of the alluring scent reminding you of something musky mixed with sandalwood and the occasional note of some sort of clean herbal scent you can’t quite put your finger on as well- It can’t be eucalyptus- maybe pine? No, it’s quite that strong, You think to yourself. But, whatever it may be, the scent stirs something familiar within your heart. Despite being unable to recall why or how you know this scent, all you know is that you’d be quite happy smelling it for the rest of your life, in your home and your nest, on your skin; you could settle into it quite nicely.

Attraction Testing. Bucky reads over the description curiously, nose still overwhelmed from the amount of scenting he did today. The concept seemed strange to him, unable to imagine any of the girls he had dated back in the 40s. He wonders if he had a “type” or a feature he was particularly drawn to.

“Think, Bucky, what do you like?” he mumbles to himself, trying to imagine his “ideal” partner. Too many features flash through his mind to determine which ones he prefers. They are all so different, and he finds himself loving the beauty in that alone.

As he thinks, his phone dings indicating the attraction testing and survey have arrived. He sighs wearily and picks up his phone to open the message.

Bucky reads over his answer several times before submitting it, the statement seeming dumb but the truth nevertheless. He honestly was at a loss of how to narrow down all the things he found attractive in one person. Since being rehabilitated and seeing the state of the world, he was astounded by the diversity of people he saw and the beauty behind it all. Bucky never said it out loud, knowing it would be the butt of the joke for months around the compound, but he truly felt like everyone was beautiful. So besides the hopes of some pretty eyes to stare into and soft skin to hold gently, he didn’t really care what his match looked like. But he did hope they liked him- scars and all, he shudders internally before deciding to leave that bridge to cross once he gets there.  

After hitting the submit button, Bucky begins to click through the slides of photographs, rating preference levels on a scale from 1 to 10. The whole thing makes him feel a little uneasy, but he completes the entire survey regardless.

Once he is done, he tosses his phone down onto the bed next to him with a large sigh. Laying on his back and looking up at the ceiling, he calculates that there are now less than three hours until his next call. With the data the programmers have collected from his last call, the scenting test, and this attraction test, he hopes this call will go better than the first. He hates to admit it, but without Steve, Sam, and the rest of the crew popping up randomly to bug him, staying in the suite has started to feel a little lonely.

You pace back and forth in your suite. This call has to go better, right? You ask yourself as you walk. I mean, it can’t get much worse… you try to reason.

After the scenting and attraction testing today, the hopelessness of your last call stopped weighing so heavily on your shoulders. Of course, you are still nervous, but you realize one stupid jerk isn’t worth throwing this opportunity away. You came here looking for a mate, a true mate, someone you would love unconditionally, someone who would love you unconditionally as well, someone you would be able to spend the rest of your life with. You hoped more than anything that that person was here.

The clock ticks continuously as you ignore your food for the phone and count down like the ticks. Any second now.

And then it rings.

You watch it for a moment, suddenly realizing that maybe you don’t want to know what’s waiting for you on the other side.

It rings again and again, and you know you need to pick it up before the line disconnects.

Reaching out, your hands shake as you slowly pick up the phone. Raising it to your ear, you take a deep breath. “Hello?”

“Uhm- hi… I’m Bucky.”

Tag List: @dadplease​ // @connie326​ // @winters1917​ // @babybunnyblossom // @falling-solar-system​ // @5ini5ster // @eclecticpatrolroadlawyer​ // @mousee555​ // @sergntbarnes​ // @rebekahdawkins​ // @saiyanprincessswanie​ // @mugi-chwan95​ // @marvel-fanfic-writer-8675​ // @beabutterfly987​ // @dottirose​ // @ginger-swag-rapunzel​ // @bryceisalegend // @vicmc624​ // @here4thespice // @hawkeyes-queen // @daddys-littlewhitegirl​ // @justbehindmyself​

[glilboy]

Ateez reactions to finding you reading smut about them: Hyung line

ive had this idea for awhile and even requested it a few times from other writers but..i felt it was time to write it lol

tws under the cut

warning, this piece of fiction contains mentions of somnophilia, slight dom and sub dynamics, and general explicit topics.

Hongjoong:

You had attempted to stay up waiting for Hongjoong, deciding to reread one of your favorite stories in the mean time. Unfortunately that wasnt enough to keep you awake, you ultimately passing out and your phone tumbling onto the floor.

Hongjoong had a feeling you'd passed out since you didnt message him any "i miss you :(" texts after 11pm so seeing you knocked out on the couch was no surprise. He slowly padded over to you smiling softly, then noticing your phone on the floor and went to pick it up for you. He was never the kind to go through your phone but your smart self had no shut down timer which left the fan fiction on display for him.

He couldnt help but be curious seeing paragraphs of text and decided a little reading would do no harm. As he began to read though he felt his gut sweep, in a good way. He was honestly a little upset until he saw his name but when he read his name it was like all of exhaustion disappeared. Luckily he didn't have work the next day he thought to himself.

Sitting down on the couch with a plan he slowly nudged you awake. "Hi dear," he spoked softly with a smirk.

You rubbed at your bleary eyes and looked up at him, "Oh hi Joongie. Sorry I didn't mean to fall asleep." He smiled even bigger at you.

"Thats fine, it helped me find out something fun," he tucked your hair behind your ear. Still waking up you made a small "huh?" before seeing the phone in his hand.

"Oh..." you mumbled, starting to be awake enough to get it. You finally looked at him straight on and saw his signature devilish grin.

He moved his hand to slowly move up your thigh, giving it a small squeeze which elicted a sigh out of you. "Didn't think you'd read stuff like that Y/N, but I guess you're just full of surprises huh doll," the pet name made you shiver, Hongjoong never having used that one before.

"I'm sorry Joongie," you mumbled into your arm, face now red. His hand moving up to cup your core and grind his hand into it making you whimper softly.

"Oh dont be sorry dolly, just shows me that you really miss me."

Seonghwa:

Saying Seonghwa was caring was an understatement in a way. Despite his busy schedule he made it a point to showed he cared in different ways. One thing he always did was if you left your phone out at all he would put it on the charger for you. Small things!

Today though he had come home earlier than usual while you were taking a quick shower. Seeing your phone on the counter he waltzed over setting his stuff down to throw it on the charger even if it wasn't that low. He noticed you left it on, open to a book he assumed enough.Him being the lovely man he is he wanted to read a bit to see what you liked and possibly buy you a physical copy. Written porn with his name in it though was not what he was expecting.

Seonghwa gulped, setting down your phone with his hands shaking and his face now flushed pink. He took a deep breath and set down his bag, running his fingers through his hair now being surprisingly worked up. A part of him felt embarrassed for being turned on by the writing but at the same time he knew you didn't read it for no reason.

"Hwa! You're home early hello!" You ran up to him giggling, now clean and dressed in some sweats.

"Hey babe, yeah we got let out early cause we learned the new choreography fast enough. They asked us if we wanted to do more vocal practice but none of us did," He laughed, trying to shift his legs to hide his slight erection.

"None of you stay late ever," you giggled sarcastically up at him. "Well, I was gonna take a nap. Do you want to? I'm sure you're tired."

He nodded softly and took your hand walking to your guys bedroom talking about your day. He changed himself into more comfortable clothing then joined you in bed, you curling into him quickly. Once you settled Seonghwa felt he could actually breathe, feeling like a middle schooler just for getting more worked up from having you close. He heard your breath settle which is when he shifted away a bit from you.

"Fuck..." He mumbled, having the space now laying on his back to palm himself over his erection. Looking over at your sleeping face made it worse, the piece you had opened having involved somnophilia. One thing he never had the guts to suggest to you despite having such an open relationship.

He didn't notice your eyes flutter open at the movement. You only just fell asleep so you were in no means in too deep. You decided to play it though, closing your eyes and throwing a leg over his waist as if you were just adjusting in your sleep.

He inhaled a sharp breath and bit his lip now mildly frustrated at the whole situation. Mumbling a fake sleepy "Hwa" you moved to straddle the man hearing a childish sigh escape his lips.

"If you keep moving, I swear to god," He mumbled out loud thinking youre still asleep since you had always been a chaotic sleeper.

"And what will you do about it horny kid," you giggled against his neck. You could feel his body tense.

"Go back to sleep and I'll fuck you like your sick little fantasy, how about that hm?"

yunho:

Rain was beating against the window as you cuddled up on the couch with your phone in hand. Yunho was on the other side of his personal office playing video games. It was a chill day but something in the air was setting you slightly off the edge.

Besides the sweet glances and cheesy smiles thrown at each other, your screen was very much the opposite of innocent pure love. Getting indulged in the story you started to zone in, missing some of his looks making Yunho curious as to what your interest was delved into currently.

"Be right back guys," he said into the mic mischievously. Quickly making his way over he slipped the phone out of your hand, this behavior wouldve typically been fine but because of the contents on your screen you gasped and reached out for your phone. "You doing something naughty or do you just like acting suspicious?" he grinned before looking at your phone.

His face feel reading the paragraph of a particularly nsfw scene. You were now sitting up staring at him wide eyed, "yuyu please oh god its not what you think, i think." Silence filled the room, the only noises being the sound of his running pc and the dull chatter of the other boys.

"Do you read this often?" he said out of hesitation and pure curiosity, almost feeling that he violated your private space. He kind of got the gist of it all right away, thankfully for your sake.

"Not all the time but i mean, you are busy yunho," you tried to softly explain knowing this was odd territory.

"Do you...ever want to try it," he says, getting to the end of the page and looking at you.

"I can't say that..none of them aren't, nice," the air was filled with an awkward energy that could suffocate another person if they came in at such a weird time.

The two of you stood there for a second, until he moved towards you and took your hand. He placed it on his bulge and you sucked a breathe in.

"Take off my pants," he ordered, a strange harsh tone to his voice. For you guys there was never set roles, not any dom or sub dynamic but it wasnt vanilla per say so him speaking like this was new. Besides that, you did as he said and pushed your thumbs under the waistband of his sweats, pulling them down his legs.

Silently he took your hand then sat down on his gaming chair, pulling out his large cock. He slipped on his headphones before looking up at you with a shit eating grin.

"Sit down, i can tell youve been dying too babe."

yeosang:

You were waiting for yeosang to come home after a shorter than usual practice, deciding to pass the time by indulging in your secret world. In the midst of browsing your favorite blogs you didn't hear the door open, this event made you learn not to have headphones in when participating in such activities.

Walking in, Yeosang looked around for you and spotted your figure on the couch. He slowly moved near with a secret motive of scaring you when he glanced at your phone seeing a photo of him paired with a lot of writing. Tilting his head curiously he squinted to read the text, reading along with you until his face flushed.

Sucking in a breath slightly he moved back to the door, playing off him just entering. You noticed his figure walking towards you and sneakily turned off your phone and got up to greet him.

"Hey babe, it's nice to see you in the sunlight," you giggled and wrapped your hands around his waist. You noticed him hesitantly wrapping his arms around you, causing you to pull away.

"Hey, whats up? you seem a bit off?" you pouted and brushed the hair out of his eyes, not catching the little blush.

"Yeah yeah babe, I'm fine. promise," he cleared his throat and pulled away, making your heart sink a bit. He practically completely ignored what you actually said.

"No Yeo, I- did I do something wrong? Or just a long day?" you pried knowing something was up.

Shifting awkwardly on his feet he looked up at you, his hair back in his face. "I um, saw what you were reading."

The color drained from your face, mouth slightly hanging not knowing what to say. You thought he was pissed, was going to leave and break up with you but right when you were about to talk he spoke again.

"C-can we do that?"

A moment of silence passed and you looked up at him, your boyfriend who was typically very soft and gentle in bed. Knowing what you were reading was likely pretty heavy in his book, you became worried. "Yeo, I just read it. It means nothing I don't want to make you uncomforta-"

His lips cut yours off and one hand entangled in your hair, his other guiding you to the wall by your hip. Back flush against the way you pulled away after a moment to see his eyes wide and sweat already beading down his temple.

"I've wanted to do that, just didn't want to scare you dear."

[effervescentdragon]

Do you have any hcs about eldritch Peredhil, considering they are part Maia?

hi friend! i think we talked about this a long time ago, and im pretty sure i had something written for you about luthien before my computer crashed the first time, but by valar i cant find it anywhere, i just looked for it.

this is a wonderful ask and imma put the stuff i have under the cut bcs this just inspired me and somehow crystallised some things for me and i tend to ramble a LOT! so thank you! <3

okay so i think our convos probably influenced me without me noticing it somehow, or it was just universe or my brain being weird or whatever. i have a hc that finrod and galadriel are very eldritch in like. half opposite directions. they are both terrifying and they both kinda. see and understand some things but only with hindsight. and it's not the sight, as one may argue cirdan has, but i think they just. know stuff and see stuff and cant make sense of it very much. so id say that celebrian maybe either carries the genes or is herself like that. actually pretty sure she herself is like that bcs in that elrond character study i did, i know that she knew she wasnt going to see arwen again, and she knew it, but elrond didnt.

and elrond himself, ive written him in that fic as seeing things, which i do believe now in hindsight was partially influenced by the way you wrote arwen. i think that the mix of maia and finwean blood in him gave him some powers, but he actively resisted them because they've always given him only heartache (with elros first, then erieinion, at least in my fics) so he chose not to look for what happens, preferring not to know and spare himself some heartache at least. i believe this also gives him grief a lot, because he is always torn between knowing and not knowing.

now i imagine, and im literally developing this as i type, that mixing these powers from nolofinwean, arafinwean, AND melian's sides in celebrian and elrond's children is. well. a lot. i havent given it that much thought if im honest, but im gonna do it now.

so. twins. i think the gift is, not dilluted in them as such. i just think they chose, when they were younger, to disregard it. i imagine them reading accounts of other twins in their family, or listening as erestor and glorfindel perhaps conversed about elrond and elros (in my hcs, erestor was echtleions half brother and went w earendil and then stayed w the twins when they were w maedhros and maglor) and about all they know about ambarussa and elured and elurin and just. decided together not to separate and decided to like. not defy fate but just. to choose eachother always and never allow fate to separate them? if that makes sense. and perhaps one of them can see further than the other, but they choose to supress it and to devote themselves to other endeavors that arent so. fated? like, they want to do stuff because they've put work into it, and not because something was given to them.

arwen, on the other hand. arwen i remember thinking about, grandchild of luthien, every bloodline possible converged in her in a way that's more fated than most tbh, which is a lot to say about a tolkien character. i think she.. hm. i think she knew she was going to walk the steps of luthien, and i think she never even contemplated another choice. i think this knowing came directly from within her, and i think she was aware of much more than anyone else. i also think she had help from irmo especially. now, im connecting the dots for my personal headcanons so bear with me.

i hc findis as having dreams she does not remember that are filled with knowledge. she wanders irmo's domain and he always sends her back without the knowledge she acquired, because it would be too much for her and she'd go insane. i think arwen is exactly like that too. i think they meet in lorien, and i think they get along really well, and i think findis may be the biggest support arwen has ever had. now, findis is feeling guilty about her own sister and how she judged lalwen for leaving with feanaro, whom she still cant stand, so she tries to be for arwen what she never got to be for lalwen. and i think they walk the fields of lorien and findis tells arwen evrrything she can think of and everything that bothers her, and arwen does the same, and yet they never really know it, nor do they know each other when they wake up. i think arwen is stalwarth in her beliefs and her decisions in part because of findis, because findis was always the one with her feet solidly on the ground, and arwen finds that reassurance comforting even without knowing where it comes from. so when she chooses a mortal life, none of the peredhel were ever as sure in that decision as she was, aside from luthien, who was objectively insane for bullying namo, but also so very valid.

hope this answers your question and if i think on anything else, imma add it! also, thank you for inspiring me to brainstorm! :)

[awsugar]

I think mcrs popularity more than doubled after they broke up. They played stadiums only occasionally, tending to play smaller gigs. Now, every single tour date sold out instantly, in MK alone that was more than 100,000 tickets! I feel like the attitude towards mcr has changed as well. Back then they were given a lot of shit for being emo and having young fans, and they were mostly put under the same heading as fob, panic etc. I think now there’s a real widespread belief that mcr are objectively in a league of their own. Fob and panic could never in a million years sell out concerts like mcr are now doing. It’s really interesting and I wonder what caused it to happen - was it the random break up? Was it older emos such as Dan Howell referencing them which caused the next generation to start listening to them too? Or was it simply because their music is that good? I personally liked mcr before they broke up but only really listened to their albums front to back afterwards.

yea i mean ive talked about this quite a few times but you're right, theyre definitely more popular now than they were back then, easily seen by the size of the venues they're playing now. like yea they did headline reading and leeds during dd, but the majority of the rest of their shows outside of festivals were clubs. the ticket sales for this tour are insane.

i just think its a combination of like achieving this Legend status after they broke up, but also the hype of the reunion. if they hadn't broken up i don't think they'd be selling out venues of this size. the benefit of breaking up for 7 years and then announcing a reunion tour is that all of the people who didnt get a chance to see them before are like ravenous to finally see them now that the opportunity is there.

like i do get the impression that 14 year olds think that all mcr fans (or a majority) are in their teens. like when gerard had to turn off his insta comments i read some of them and there were QUITE a few comments that were like 'your fanbase is young teens you really cant be silent on this' and like. that is simply not the case. insta and twitter fandoms tend to skew younger imo so all those teenagers are seeing mostly teenagers and thats how they form that opinion. but the fact is that like i would say a majority of mcr fans are actually in their 20s and 30s. and MOST people in their later 20s and 30s, especially those who have been mcr fans since the early days, are not active in the online fandom. im different <3 but like that skews the perception of the fandom bc a majority of the loud voices ARE pretty young. anyway what im saying is that a lot of mcr fans are older now, and were probably teens when mcr were active and possibly their parents wouldnt take them to see them so now that they have the chance and they dont need their parents permission theyre like snatching up those tickets. i think thats definitely a factor too. like i hardly even remember seeing a young person at the shrine. nearly everyone there was an adult.

also like im not going to get into the lecture but theres a reason the "emo trinity" exists, theres a reason mcr are lumped in with fob and panic and it was never because people thought they sounded similar sonically. are mcr in a league of their own? yes. but these bands still have a large overlap in fanbase.

the thing you said about fob and panic not being able to sell out concerts like this. i think thats like. i cant actually decide if thats true. and i dont think its easy to compare bc neither of those bands broke up in the same way that mcr did and got back together. the fact is that mcr have 11 million monthly listeners on spotify but fob and panic have 17 and 18 million, respectively. by the numbers, fob and panic have more fans. mcr are benefitting from the hype of getting back together after 7 years. so idk. when fob came back from their hiatus it was fucking huge, and they did go on an arena tour with panic. i saw them at the barclays center in brooklyn which is where one of my mcr shows is. sooooooo idk. i think thats hard to gauge.

anyway i dont really know what caused it. like its very clear that public perception of mcr changed while they were away and that they became much more popular in the mainstream during that time. bc the other thing that i didnt mention is that the online fandom is SOOOO much smaller now than it was when they were together, and even a lot smaller than it was in say 2016 when i came back from a few years away as a fob stan. so i dont think the 'new generation' as you called it is contributing THAT much to these crazy ticket sales. its kind of a mystery.

[echoalyssa]

Phantom | Dick Grayson

Authors Note: There’s some light language in this, but thats about all!

“Phantom to Nightwing, entering dead zone now. Start the clock and come in if I’m late. I love you.”

You now had an hour inside the base, unable to contact anyone. You were collecting intel and because you were the stealthiest and smallest, (Damian was too young for this particular mission) Bruce had sent you in.

Your boyfriend, Dick Grayson had wanted to come with you but Bruce had rejected the idea because two people was more risky than one.

Dick had been livid, it was more risky for your life for you to go alone. He was your partner even though you were all a team. Ever since childhood, the two of you fought together and somewhat seemed to share the same mind.

You push a vine our of your dace. Your black masks shows the digital map of the quietest places to step. Your hood is pulled up to disguise your features and skin tone that obviously didn't fit in with the darkness of the air around you.

You had left your mottled cloak behind, opting to only have to worry about your body and where you place it. 

Joker was extremely active underground lately, he’d evolved and Bruce had only your mission as a lead. 

Your mask displays your one hour timer on the left hand side of your vision. Fifty minutes to get into the compound and back to safety.

The compound comes into view, a flat stone building that just didn’t fit in with the forest that surrounded it. You creep forward, staying in the shadows and hugging the walls of the building until you reach the only vent.

The stone was practically flat but years of training allowed you to look your gloved fingers into a crevice and wedge a booted foot into the building.

You begin climbing, scaling upwards twenty feet. The screws of the vent are all different and you have to pull away from the wall, your body straining so you can unscrew the bottom two.

You’re small enough that you can pry the vent open enough that you can squeeze yourself in. Forty minutes your clock reads. You were going too slow. You crawl forward on your elbows, you trek forward, you should have asked for two hours. Shit.

You hit the record button on your wrist panel and pull the microphone out.

It’s a tiny one but the quality is amazing. You’re peering through a small vent above a research lab now and you thread the microphone and it’s wire through the vent. The audio feeds into your ear piece and also saves to the hard drive in your panel.

You’re holding your breath, only breathing when you have to to minimize any chance of getting caught.

“We need to move in now! He’s only getting more recruits and it’s only a matter of time before they find us again.” Says a voice.

“If they haven’t already! I say we try the new weapon on some unsuspecting crowd of bystanders now. Then they’ll be too busy trying to save those silly citizens to deal with us.”

“Yes but is it ready..?”

“It needs to be tested again and we need to find a more powerful energy source eventually.”

And then the joker walks into view of the vent. He’s holding a blueprint and he spreads it on one of the tables. It’s the paint schematic for the weapon because of course, the joker being the joker meant that everything needed to be green, purple, and white.

You raise a hand to your mask and tap twice. It takes a screenshot of your view of the blueprint and sends it to the bat hard drive.

“Did you have any luck with batons inner circle? Would anyone snitch?”

“A couple...” the speaker listens. It’s valuable intel and now Bruce would be able to feed false information to the rats.

You begin to tap their names away into the panel and then attempt to wirelessly hack into the mainframes. The firewall were strong and plentiful but eventually they all fall victim to you. Sixteen minutes your timer reads. Shit. The data downloading from their computers and into your drive is only halfway done.

It won’t be very detailed. Just minuscule bits of information because you couldn't connect physically to the computers. It’s a line of script here and there that didn't make much sense to you because you weren't super tech-y. Though every line counted and that you knew. Several addresses also pop up.

Finally, after what feels like an eternity, your panel signals that the download is complete. Seven minutes reads the timer. Double shit.

You scramble backwards knowing that you’ve done all that you can. Somehow managing to turn yourself around in the small space. You’re almost at the vent when you foot clangs against the side of the vent.

You freeze, no alarms go off, but then again why would they? The timer is still ticking and you continue on, sliding out of the vent. You fumble with the screws, attempting to get them back in in case your cover hadn't already been blown. You then plant your feet, push off and flip down to the ground. You land nimbly in a rolling crouch and then pop to your feet and take off, sprinting for the tree line.

They come from the shadows. Dozens of them. All focused in on you.

You suck in a breath and draw your longswords.

“Bring it on Goonies!” You call and they surge forward all at once. Some with guns, electric batons, and swords.

You stalk forward, meeting them in the middle. You begin slashing immediately at arms, legs, torsos, anywhere that wasn’t too lethal. You weren't a killer.

Except there were just so many, the sword in your left hand falls from your grip and you pull out a disc, throwing it into the incomers. It explodes, blinding some and wounding others. 

You yank s taser out from your belt and stab it into an attackers neck while blocking an attack with your sword. And then it happens. A baton smacks into the back of your head and you stumble forward, dizzy. A blade slashes your thigh, splitting skin and muscle. A cry comes fro, your lips and you lash out desperately with your one remaining longsword. You're able to down the foe who had slashed you.

Two more take his place and then a dagger rips through your abdomen from behind. You scream, falling to your knees. Just as it gets put through your thigh, followed by your shoulder. You land in the grass face first and the world goes dark, sound fading out.

‘Dick.’ Is your last thought.

~~~

Dick is staring at the timer that is displayed by his make. 00:00:05. 00:00:04. 00:00:03. 00:00:02. 00:00:01. And the dreaded number... 00:00:00. It blares red and he stares at the forest, fists clenched. Where was she?

Tim steps forward and places a hand on his shoulder. “Give her five minutes okay? She’s smart. You know how these missions sometimes go overtime. She’s got this.”

“We never should have sent her in alone. It was too risky. Damn it!”

His fist rockets into a tree. He considers going after Bruce, giving him a piece of his mind. Then decides that it isn’t worth it and begins to prepare to go in after his love.

He makes sure to grab the miniature cauterizer and some other emergency medical supplies, stuffing them into the pouches on his belt.

“Wait, Nightwing, we’ll go together. We need a plan!” Damian calls.

His heart is pounding out of his chest and he can’t breathe. ‘What if he was too late? What if she was already gone?’

He doesn’t want to wait for a plan, time was ticking. He pushes past his adoptive brother.

“Dick wait!” Jason calls trying to grab his arm. But he keeps going, breaking for the trees to find her.

Jason and Tim look at each other, then they both look at Damian. “Stay here.” They say simultaneously/

“No way!” He yells back at his brothers.

The three of them take them off after Nightwing. And Bruce, having watched all his children run into danger, follows them in.

Nightwing is pushing through vines and branches, not caring if he makes noise or not. He knows the rest of his family will follow him, but quietly.

His mail enhances his vision in the darkness. He draws a thumb over his own panel and it activates the heat censor on his mask. Dick Grayson pushes forward quickly, scanning frantically for her heat signature.

And then he sees it. She’s always run cold. Her fingers and limbs always frozen. A small prone figure, running colder than the other surrounding bodies. He kicks up his pace, heading for her because he just knows.

“Phantom!” he yells, followed by, “Robin! I think I found her!”

He skids to a halt and falls to his knees, he can see the stab wounds. The way her blood has soared into the ground beneath her. 

Nightwing rolls her over, jamming his fingers under her neck to find a pulse. It’s there. But weak.

He rips the cauterizer out of his belt and drapes her body over him just as Jason appears. 

“Is she..?”

“Alive.” He grunts, “Not for much longer I need to..”

Jason helps him rip the uniform away enough so Dick has enough room to maneuver.

“Hold her down!”

Jason does as he’s told and Dick places the cauterizer to her skin.

“Only do what you have to, we need to get out of here. And soon.”

He pushes the two flaps of skin together and places the sparking tool to it. The heat melds the skin together. She’d need to be pumped full of antibiotics in case any of the blades were dirty and risked infection.

She only stirs slightly, too disoriented from her loss of blood. He talks to her the whole time he works on her.

He only does her abdomen, knowing that it’s her most serious injury. It might not even hold from the jolting and jostling that would occur in the journey back. Dick stabs a painkiller into her thigh, just in case she were to awaken.

He motions to Tim and Damian, who had been standing guard, to take up the rear. Grayson then scoops up his girlfriend, cradling her to his chest.

“Jason. Take point. Let’s get her home.”

~~~

He sits by her bedside. His hands are covered in her dry blood, along with his suit. He hadn’t bothered to change.

Y/N had needed a blood transfusion and he had offered immediately, hence why there was a needle in his arm funneling blood into girlfriend. Alfred had stitched do her wounds and hooked her up to an IV for hydration and anti-infection purposes.

She’d been changed out of her uniform after she was stable for cleanliness reasons and was now wearing one of his black shirts.

He’s holding her hand, his thumb tracing over the pulse point of her wrist occasionally.

It would be a long road to recovery for her though they all knew that she would bounce back and attempt to get back in to the field as soon as she could walk.

It’s days later when she finally wakes, her eyelids fluttering.

“Dick.” She whispers.

He’s right there, just like he had been, he’d only left briefly to shower but he ate and slept at her side. Jason had covered both of your patrols, with Bruce helping out.

“I’m okay. You’re okay, babygirl.” He places a hand on her face and she leans her head into his touch.

[wing-ed-thing]

Click (Part III: Neji)

Synopsis: You invited everyone out to dinner. You also audibly clicked. People had opinions about this

Word Count: 1,743

Warnings: Mild Bullying, Fem!Reader

Part I: Shikamaru, Part II: Shino, Part III: Neji, Part IV: Rock Lee , Part V: Naruto, Part VI: Kiba, FINALE, The Message in Click

Notes: While these can be read as oneshots, all three parts do interweave. To get all the jokes and references, do read the Shikamaru and Shino parts that have already been posted. Otherwise, enjoy!

You were always more of Hinata’s friend than Neji’s and Neji preferred it that way. You were a stark contrast compared to the infamously a severe man of few words. But even so, Neji truly never minded your presence; it was just simply one that he never particularly preferred. So when you let yourself into the Hyūga compound’s courtyard to ask him and Hinata for dinner, Neji became uncharacteristically taken aback.

“Well, I know it’s short notice, but I’m inviting everyone out for dinner tonight. My treat!” You chirped. “I was hoping you’d join me.”

Neji’s lips formed a tight line as he shifted his gaze to Hinata. Social engagements were never Neji’s forte, but he was in enough of an agreeable mood to leave the decision up to Hinata. You rocked on your heels expectantly in front of her.

“Maybe?” Hinata squeaked out and you beamed brightly, clicking as you did so. Neji shook his head at your reaction to the noncommittal response. How you could ever find enough positivity to smile about in such a weak answer made him wonder.

“Well if you can make it, it’ll be at Shushu-ya. Seven o’clock, okay?”

You left as quickly as you came and Neji continued training with Hinata. But not too long after you left, they were interrupted once more.

Kiba hurried into the courtyard with Shino not too far behind. Hinata interlocked her fingers behind her head as she tried to catch her breath again. Neji gave her modest praise for her work and decided to end training for the day given their many interruptions. Hinata’s frosted-over eyes widened with joy as she smiled at her teammates.

“Hey, Hyūga twins!” Kiba pointed finger guns at the two nobles. Hinata let out a courteous laugh. Neji crossed his arms over his chest, unamused. “Are you coming with us to Yakiniku tonight?”

Hinata looked down.

“Yes, of course.” She spoke quietly. Neji took a quick glance between the members of Team Eight. He cocked a brow.

“Don’t you mean Shus-”

“Nope!” Kiba interjected. He locked eyes with the eldest Hyūga. “Yakiniku.”

Neji let out a sharp exhale, a hand coming up to his temple. He weighed the consequences of challenging Kiba, but ultimately decided to keep quiet. If there was a problem, you would handle it, You were your own adult. You were a competent ninja. And most of all you were more Hinata’s friend so it wasn’t like he cared.

***

Neji came through the doors to Yakiniku Q first. The whole team had arrived a half hour early, because when Rock Lee is early, his whole team is early. Lee bolted through the entrance to a table he deemed long enough for everyone. Tenten sighed to herself and sat down at the opposite end. Neji ordered a round of tea and took his place near the weapons user.

He sat, legs crossed, in his quiet corner as he sipped his tea. The bell on the door rang signaling three new arrivals. Neji silently observed the room as it began to fill. Hinata and Shino greeted him quietly and took their seats at his end of the table. Another ring and Sakura and Sai joined. Sakura took it upon herself to order a few plates to grill. With each jingle of the bell above the door, he expected you. Neji shook his head. He inwardly scolded himself for mixing your clicking up with the chime. Surely, that was the reason.

He found himself studying Shino in order to take his mind off of you. Shino looked lost as he helplessly scanned the room. The bowl of rice in front of him remained untouched. His eyes settled on the meat grilling of the table. Shino lifted a hand to his chin before he abruptly stood. Neji took a sip of his tea.

His sharp eyes followed Shino as he left the table. Kiba came in front, stopping his teammate with a hand to the chest.

“I know what you did.” Neji read on Shino’s lips.

Neji exhaled sharply to himself, the pieces coming together in his head. He diverted his attention from the rest of the exchange and turned to his own bowl of rice. The bell rang out and Team Ten arrived. Shikamaru assumed Shino’s old seat.

“So,” Hinata grasped her tea with both hands. “Shikamaru how was your day?”

Shikamaru didn’t answer. Instead, he appeared as lost in his rice as Shino had been. Hinata let out a nervous laugh as the group at the end of the table began to stare at Shikamaru.

“His head’s been up in the clouds all day, don’t mind him.” Ino’s voice briefly snapped Shikamaru out of his thoughts. He grunted and a laugh went around the table. Neji studied him out of the corner of his eye.

“Hinata asked how your day was.” Sai leaned to tell him. His face remained stoic, but a sparkle of amusement shone in his eyes.

“Ah, sorry,” Shikamaru drawled, “I’ve been alright.”

With that, the conversation quickly moved on. Neji plucked a few pieces of meat from the grill. He brought his chapsticks to his lips, but paused. A sinking feeling gnawed at his core. The image of your chiper face asking him and Hinata to dinner flashed across his memory. The barbecue lowered onto the pillow of rice in his bowl.

“Wait.” Shikamaru’s head snapped up. Neji looked away, bringing a slice of meat to his mouth. He had every intention of ignoring whatever it was the Shikamaru was going to say, but what he said next made Neji stop mid-chew. “Where’s (Y/N)?”

As soon as the words left his lips, Shikamaru was out the door. The table fell silent.

Neji brought a hand up to his temple. All talk of you ceased after that, but Neji couldn’t help the pang of guilt that reverberated in his chest. The feeling ate at him and continued to eat away at him until the group decided that they were full and began to discuss the next thing they wanted to do that night. The incomplete Konoha Twelve poured out of Yakiniku, gabbering about some odd activity that Neji didn’t bother catching.

“You are not coming with us?” Lee questioned.

“No, thank you. I’ll be turning in.” The members of the group who had not already gone ahead cooed in disappointment, but didn’t push the Hyūga further.

Neji went his separate way, fully intending to head straight back to the compound. But he once again felt that pang. He stopped in the middle of the street. Neji frowned and pinched the bridge of his nose. With a huff, he turned on his heel. He was off to find you.

***

Neji found you standing with Shikamaru outside. Shikamaru had offered to walk you home, but you politely declined. He had already done so much for you and you didn’t want to put him out. Shikamaru opened his mouth just to argue with you when Neji appeared. You looked over your shoulder.

“Oh Neji! I’m sorry, you just missed dinner.” Your features drooped in genuine apology. Shikamaru gave the Jounin a pointed look. Neji returned with a look of subtle understanding.

“I apologize that I could not make it earlier.” He opted. He gulped before clearing his throat. “Do you mind if I steal you?”

“I mean, we were just about done so I don’t see why not.” You smiled up at Shikamaru who allowed the corners of his lips to upturn.

“I should be going anyway.”

“Thank you for everything, Shika!” You smiled. Looking down at your face, Shikamaru couldn’t help but return your expression. His eyes traveled from yours to Neji and the pleasantness retreated from his features. He gave the other Jounin a look of warning.

“Of course. Happy Birthday.” He told you, gaze locked with Neji.

You didn’t notice the emphasis as you waved your friend off. Instead, you turned back to Neji. You beamed at him as he inspected you and once again, Neji wondered to himself. He scowled at your batted eyelashes. You were ditched by your friends on your birthday but you still stood in front of him with a smile.

Neji took a step closer. You flinched as his hands reached up around your head. He grasped your hitai-ate and pulled it down over your eyes.

“Um… Neji?” You peaked out from under the thin sheet of metal.

“I have a surprise for you, do you want it or not?” He glanced down. Neji sighed. “I have something that I wish to show you if you would let me.”

You nodded and let him tighten the hitai-ate around your eyes.

Neji led you down the street. Your vision was pitch black beneath the blindfold. You stumbled, only to be caught by a sturdy set of hands. Neji laced his fingers around yours. You felt him gingerly wrap his arm around your shoulder as he guided you. The two of you continued on.

You faltered when you stepped off the pavement. The steps you took were careful but Neji gave you all the patience you needed. Neji stopped you and went around behind you to untie your forehead protector. As it gradually slipped off, Neji’s surprise was revealed to you.

“The Hyūga clan’s secret garden,” He told you. Your hitai-ate came to hang around your neck. “These are sacred grounds upheld by Hyūgas for generations.”

The azaleas were in full bloom. Hues of red, pink and white littered landscape in between stone fixtures. Petals flurried in the wind, wrapping around the flaps of your qipao. You wandered deeper into the garden in awe. The garden looked like a dream. You ran up to the bridge that arched over the small pond. A wisteria vine wrapped itself around the handrails. You looked out over the lotuses that bloomed in the water. Neji stood next to you as you gazed out at the view.

“Do you enjoy the garden?” You turned to him, eyes sparkling. You clicked.

“Yes! I love it.” You turned back to the dancing petals in the wind.

“Well, good.” Neji straightened his posture. “You’re always so excitable. Clicking at everything you might as well have something worth the excitement.” He scoffed. “I don’t quite understand it.” You giggled as the Hyūga rolled his eyes. He glanced down at you, frowning. “See? This is exactly-”

“Neji?” He stared into your wide, joyful eyes.

“Yes?”

“Thank you.”

Thank you to everyone who liked, reblogged, and followed. Your support means so much and is greatly appreciated.

[disgruntledspacedad]

Aftershocks (2/5)

The Better Love Series 

pairing: Javier Peña x Fem!Reader (Ears). Part of the Better Love ‘verse. 

summary: That bomb fucked you up a little more than you thought. h/c, fluff.

words: 2.5k 

warnings: 18+ - canon typical violence, lots of medical stuff in this one.

a/n: unbeta’d. I had a surprise day off, so enjoy the second installment of Aftershocks much sooner than I had anticipated. More notes to follow!

part one | part two | part three | part four | part five 

MASTERLIST

You’re escorted beyond the heavy double doors of the emergency department in a hurry. It probably has a lot to do with Javi busting into the waiting area with you in his arms, flashing his DEA badge and barking out orders in irate Spanish. 

Honestly, you wish he wouldn’t make such a scene. Sitting still in the car had allowed you to catch your breath a little. You feel like shit, sure, but you’re pretty sure you aren’t actively dying.

Try telling him that, though.

The triage room is little more than a curtain masking a dimly lit corner. You’re answering what questions you can in halting Spanish, but Javi can see that you’re overwhelmed. 

“Ella habla ingles.” His tone earns him a dirty look, but the nurse nods, placing an oxygen probe on your finger and frowning up at the monitor. Both of you follow her gaze, noticing that the number reads 87. 

“The doctor will see you soon,” she says carefully. Her English is heavily accented, and suddenly, you’re grateful beyond words that you have Javi here to translate. “Here. You’ll wear this.” She winds the oxygen tubing beneath your chin and around your ears. The oxygen is dry, burning your nose and making your face twitch in annoyance, but you can’t deny that you feel better with it on.

The nurse leaves you then, pulling the curtain closed behind her. Javi continues to stare at the monitor with his arms folded across his chest as the number on the screen climbs to 89, then to 92, the soft tone of the blips rising in pitch with each subtle improvement.

He’s thinking again, you can tell. 

“Javi?” You reach for his hand, tugging at his fingers. Instinctively, you know that leaving him alone to stew right now cannot be a good thing.

He glances down at you, all dark, glittering eyes and terse expression, and worry clinches in your gut. “You okay?”

Javi snorts. “Really, Ears.” You can just see him fighting the urge to roll his eyes. “That’s a hell of a question, coming from you.”

You decide to shoot for levity. “I’m great, thanks for asking.”

That earns you a pathetic, lopsided lip twitch. You count it as a win anyway.

The doctor never shows. Javi grumbles and broods. A little while later, somebody comes with a wheelchair to whisk you away for an x-ray, and no matter how much blustering and badge-flashing and protesting he does, Javi is told firmly to stay put. 

He’s pacing agitatedly in the hallway when return. Apparently, it had felt like an eternity for him. 

In reality, you’d been gone less than twenty minutes.

It seems that your x-ray has earned you some attention, because things start happening a little faster now. People are in and out, one nurse bustling in to wordlessly draw an entire fistful of little color coded tubes of your blood, another working on IV access in your opposite arm. You take it all stoically, caught between watching in fascination as the nurse tapes the catheter in place with practiced efficiency and wondering why all of this can’t just happen in one stick. 

A little while later, the same nurse returns with a bag of fluid. “Seca,” she informs you as she stretches to hang it on the hook in the wall. 

“She says you’re dehydrated,” Javi translates. His face is a stone wall, the subtle clench of his jaw the only hint of the emotion that churns beneath. You can just imagine him kicking himself for not making you eat or drink. 

You bite back a shiver. The saline is cold in your arm.

They move you to a real room not long after that. It’s only marginally bigger than your corner in the emergency department, crammed with two rickey, uncomfortable beds separated by another dingy curtain. Thankfully, you don’t have a roommate for the moment.

You let Javi handle the paperwork as you change out of his sweats and into the itchy, open-backed gown that you’ve been provided with. Even with the oxygen, moving around still requires that you pause to catch your breath, and you’re grateful for the opportunity to sit when you’re done, even if the hospital bed you’re on is squeaky and uncomfortable.

Once the documents are signed and the nurses are gone, silence settles thickly between you. Javi is standing with his fingers fisted into his hips, glaring daggers at the clock on the wall. He hasn’t spoken in a long time.

Again, you feel that burning need to pull him out of his head. “Not really set up for visitors, is it?” you ask wryly. It’s a stupid, pointless thing to say, but you’re just trying to fill the void.

Javi glances around the room, raising his brows at what he observes. There’s no chair and no free space, nowhere for him to sit. Sighing deeply, he yanks back the curtain that divides the room and eases carefully onto the bed opposite of you, leaning forward with his arms folded on his knees.

You grit your teeth. Really, you wouldn’t have minded him settling down on your bed, but the more time you spend with Javi, the more you’re starting to realize that he withdraws when he’s feeling wrong-footed. As annoying as it is, the distance he’s putting between you is just par for the course, and it’s just not worth addressing right now.

“How are you feeling?” he asks softly, pinning you with a sharp, assessing stare.

“Better,” you answer automatically, forcing some cheerfulness into your tone. Honestly, you’re far more worried about him than you are about you. 

Javi raises a skeptical brow, clearly doubting you.

“No, really!” 

Your protest makes him shake his head in dark amusement. “What am I gonna do with you, Ears?” he wonders aloud.

You’re ready to supply several very detailed answers to that question, all of them interrupted as your doctor finally breezes into the room. 

“About fucking time,” Javi mutters under his breath as he rises to his feet.

“Hola, hola. I’m Dr. Perez.” Dr. Perez says, actually managing to sound a tiny bit apologetic. “Forgive the delay, por favor. I know it must seem that emergencies are the most non-emergent situation in the hospital, but, I promise you, we are working hard behind the scenes.”

 You decide immediately that you like Dr. Perez. He’s not a big man, compact and clean cut, with just the faintest dusting of silver at his temples and a warm, genuine smile. 

Javi must be thinking along similar lines, because he comes to stand just at the edge of your shoulder, looming dark and foreboding at your side as Dr. Perez approaches your bedside. 

Oh, now you’ll stick close, you think fondly, trying to find a little amusement in Javi’s behavior. Everything about this situation is entirely new, totally incongruous with the cool, suave Javier Peña that you thought you’d known, and a malicious, possessive part of your brain is just eating up the implications.

“I understand you were involved in the bombing in downtown Bogotá, correct?” Dr. Perez’s grip is firm and cool as he shakes your hand. 

“Yes, that’s correct.” You’re acutely aware of Javi standing stiffly beside you, watching your every move.

“Most unfortunate,” Perez shakes his head in a show of sympathy, and you manage to believe him. “And the breathing problems, they began later, no?”

“Yes,” you answer, surprised that he would guess with such accuracy. “I was okay afterward. Maybe a little bit sore. But not hurt.”

“Ella ha estado tosiendo sangre,” Javi interjects quickly. You’re not sure what he’s saying, but Dr. Perez’s eyes flicker in his direction, a swift, meaningful look passing between them. 

“Veo.” Dr. Perez says smoothly. He frowns down at you. “And how for were you from the blast zone?”

You think back, willing yourself to relive the memory of the morning in clinical detail. “I was crossing the street,” you say slowly.  “Headed home.” You do some quick mental math in your head, analyzing the width of Circular against the image of Emilio, waving. You’d been close enough to shout a greeting. “Forty feet. Maybe a little less.”

Beside you, Javi sucks in a sharp breath. 

Perez purses his lips. “Sí, eso lo haría.” He crosses the room, flicking a switch to illuminate a bright white panel built into the wall that you hadn’t noticed before. He shuffles through your chart, pulling out a dark film and pinning it to the light. 

It’s your chest x-ray. You can clearly see the curve of your ribs, stark white against the darker background of your lungs. In the middle of the film lies the dusky outline of what you assume is your heart. To the lower left, a patch of hazy, white blur mars the image. 

“This is the problem.” Perez points to the blur. “Pulmones magullados. Your lungs are bruised, see? This is common in blast zone survivors. The change in air pressure when the bomb ignites causes an injury to the lung tissue. You are bleeding just a little bit internally.”

You can damn near feel Javi gritting his teeth at that.

“But I felt fine,” you protest weakly, looking assentingly at the blob on the x-ray. It’s a pretty good size.

“Sí, you were fine.” Perez is nodding along with you, like he’d expected the argument. “That’s normal with this type of injury. You felt good immediately afterward because the bruise was new, the bleeding slight. But the bruise has gotten bigger, and you have gotten worse.” He indicates the oxygen that you are wearing with a grim nod. “You are a very lucky, mi amiga, to have walked away from that. Muy afortunada. Had you been closer…” Perez trails off, shaking his head somberly. “It does not bear thinking.”

He claps his hands, startling you away from the grisly images stirring in your mind. “There is good news, though!” Perez gestures toward the x-ray as a whole, circling over it with his index finger. “I see no rib fractures, nothing collapsed. Your breathing might get worse before it gets better, but it will get better. We will keep you under close watch until then.”

“Keep me?”

“Sí, you will be here.” Perez pins you with a no-nonsense stare, as if to curtail any protests before they come. “There’s another matter. You have a small concussion as well. To this area, here.” He taps the back of his own head with his hand. “From falling down, yes?”

You nod. The area he’s pointing to is right where your head hurts most, where you’d fallen backward after the blast. “Yes. It did knock me off my feet.” Apparently a with a little more force than you’d initially assumed.

Perez hums. “We will monitor that as well. You do not take blood thinners?”

“No, sir. No medications.”

“Bueno.” Dr. Perez seems genuinely pleased by this. “You’ve made my job very easy.” He gathers the film and shuffles it back into your chart, flopping it shut with a flourish. “Rest for you, Orejas. Time and sleep will do the best healing.”

“Orejas?” you can’t help but ask. It’s the name that Emilio had used for you, but you’re shocked that Perez knows it. 

Perez smiles. “I listen to my nurses. That is what they call you.”

“How much time?” Javi interrupts before you can respond. You’d nearly forgotten about him, as quiet as he’s been. 

Perez turns to address him for the first time. “It depends largely on her body. The concussion is small, and won’t require anything in the way of treatment. Her lungs, though…” Perez frowns down at the closed chart with a furrowed brow. “The contusion is still developing. A few days, a week, perhaps? I can say more tomorrow.” He turns back to you, sighing in sympathy. “I’m afraid you’re in for a stay, mi amiga.”

Well, fuck.

With that, Perez disappears just as quickly as he’d arrived, soft, quick footsteps echoing down the hallway, and silence falls once again over the room.

Javi doesn’t move, doesn’t speak. He’s standing very still, arms folded tightly across his chest with his thumbs digging into his armpits. The expression on his face is downright chilling. 

Your blood turns to ice.

“What the fuck, Ears?” he says very slowly, enunciating each syllable with deadly precision.

You glance up, suddenly hesitant to speak. The little movement must be enough to spur him on, though, because Javi fucking explodes. 

“Forty fucking feet!” he bites out, clawing angrily at his hair. He paces the tiny room, whirling as he runs out of space and pointing an accusing finger at you. “You told me you were across the street, Ears, not crossing it. There’s a big fucking difference.”

You blink at him, recalling the conversation you’d had in the embassy parking lot. 

Shit, he’s right.

“Why the hell did you lie to me?” There’s a subtle warble in his tone, a flicker of devastation in his eyes that’s quickly masked. 

Discomfort that has nothing to do with your injured lungs twinges in your chest. “I don’t know,” you answer miserably. You hadn’t thought of it as lying. At the time, you’d been overwhelmed by the situation and thoroughly confused by Javi’s erratic behavior, just desperate to get home and sleep off the worst morning of your life. “I didn’t want to upset you, I guess.” 

Javi laughs sarcastically. “Well, you’ve done a fucking fantastic job of that, haven’t you?” He throws his hands in the air, like he’s had it up to here with your shit. “Coughing up blood all over my kitchen floor. Christ, I should have known.”

Okay, now he’s being a little dramatic - the only blood you’d coughed up had been into your fingers, after all, but the protest is lost on you as you look him in the face. Javi’s eyes are deeply shadowed, his expression pained, his hair standing wildly from where he’s run his fingers through it. 

He looks thoroughly exhausted.

“I’m sorry,” you whisper, dropping your gaze to the floor.

Javi huffs and looks away, clearly not ready to accept any apologies from you.

You don’t blame him. Throughout this entire screwed up relationship, you’ve done an absolutely piss poor job of putting yourself in Javi’s shoes, and it’s coming back to bite you in the ass.

You deserve his irritation, and more.

Javi’s pager beeps, the shrill sound of it slicing through the tension. He snatches it roughly off of his belt, frowning down at the display with squinted eyes.

You glance up at the clock on the wall. It’s pretty late, but given the day Javi’s had, it’s not outrageous to assume that somebody would need to be in touch with him at this hour.

 “I’ve got to take this,” Javi says tonelessly, hardly glancing up at you. If there’s any regret there, it’s buried very deeply. “I’ll see you later, Ears.”

He’s gone before you can get a word in edgewise.

♠

confessions/notes:

I speak one language poorly, and I’ve never extensively written a character who is not a primary English speaker (I’m not counting Javi here). Any critiques or corrections to my Spanish are very welcomed!

Up next: a look at things from Javi’s POV.

Spanish translations: 

She speaks English. 

Dry

She’s been coughing up blood.

I see. 

Yeah, that’ll do it.

ears

tags:@jedi-mando, @perropascal, @aerolanya, @pikemoreno, @bitchin-beskar, @mostly-megan, @huliabitch, @starsandmando, @starlight-starwrites​, @thirstworldproblemss, @knittingqueen13, @yespolkadotkitty​

Javier Peña tags: @magpie-to-the-morning, @tiffdawg, @danniburgh, @1800-fight-me​

To my taglist peeps, I’m sorry for tagging you guys three times in 24 hours. Again, chaotic jay cannot plan anything, like ever.

[searchingforalittle]

Foresite Diapers!

So today I have decide to do a review on the Foresite Diapers! Everyone seemed to like the one I did on the Trest Diapers so I thought it would be fun to do another diaper review today. I do have every style of diaper by Foresite in my collection which includes Plain White, Under the Sea, Mary Janes, Stars, and Stripes. Im going to try and keep all of my reviews similar, focusing on absorbency, comfort, quality, and the price, which I think are the most important things to look at when reviewing or buying new diapers.

Absorbency

10/10 absorbency rating. Absorbency on the Foresite Diapers has always been very good in my opinion. The medium diapers hold right around 4615ml and the large diapers hold about 5100ml. They do a great job at wicking away the moisture and keeping you dry, the padding will absorb quite a bit before you start to feel considerably wet. And at the time when these diapers originally came out, they had one of the higher absorbencies for any diaper, they came out roughly four years ago in 2017 I think, and at the time 5100ml was about as high as diaper absorbency went, so Foresite did a really good job with making an absorbent diaper that kept up well with the competition, they were literally the Mega Max of their time and everybody loved them.

Comfort

9/10 comfort rating. Ive worn these for pretty good periods of time, and I've never had any issues with chaffing or rubbing or making my skin uncomfortable, and usually at least for me its not until the 3rd wetting on these before I start to feel wet like its time to change it. And you can move around pretty well in these, so if you have an active lifestyle they aren't going to dig or chaff much. And these do have a waistband in the front and back to help fit your body a bit more snuggly.

Quality

10/10 quality rating. Im giving a 10 out of 10 because these diapers really hold up well and beat out many other diapers of their class. The tapes are super strong, sticky and can be readjusted at least two or three times before the stickiness goes away. The plastic is a thick, heavy, durable plastic, that feels very good to the touch and holds up well after considerable wear and use. The padding itself is very soft to the touch and feels good when you put it on, and the padding when wet does a pretty decent job of staying in place even after you've wet it a couple times, the only time the padding has ever bunched up on me is when I've worn them for six or more hours and about three or more wettings, at that point the padding is just to heavy and saturated to hold itself together. These also have tall standing leak guards to really help prevent leaks, and they are tall enough to wear if you have a couple boosters in them the liquid still will have a hard time going over them.

Price

8/10 for price. I say 8 out of 10 because now days most diapers are going to be about $3 per diaper when you buy a pack of ten. You can find the Foresite diapers on Amazon for usually about $32.99 to $36.99 per pack of ten, sometimes you can get them cheaper if there is a little sale, you can still get them from agecomfort.com but they no longer ship to the US unfortunately $28.99CAD or about $24USD, so if you're a Canadian thats a pretty good deal. If you are a US resident you can get them on Amazon usually with free prime shipping.

That concludes my review of the Foresite Diapers! I hope anyone that reads it finds it helpful if you ever want to buy a pack for yourself. If I continue to get good feedback from everyone I will continue doing diaper reviews! If there are any diapers you want me to do a review on just leave a comment or send me ask! :) I hope everyone has a wonderful Sunday morning and good rest of your day!

[thetravelerwrites]

Dr. Mael Halvorg (Finale) Lemon

Rating: Explicit Relationship: Male Part-Fae/Female Part Fae Additional Tags: Exophilia, Monster Boyfriend, Fae, Reader Insert, Genetics Content Warnings: Children, Pregnancy, Incubation, Birth, Babies, Surgery, Male Infertility, Mention of Cancer Words: 4233

The finale of @ivymemnoch​‘s commission! The reader takes Dr. Halvorg on a weekend trip for his birthday and changes his life forever. Please reblog and leave feedback!

The Traveler's Masterlist

The plus sign on the stick had taken you by surprise. You don’t know why, though; you knew this was probably going to happen eventually when you decided to stop your birth control. Of course, you didn’t expect it to happen so soon, since he was still recovering and potentially wouldn’t necessarily be any more fertile than he had been before, but considering how prolific your family was, it shouldn’t have been a shock.

Three months after Maël’s surgery, his test results had been not quite normal but favorable, and he was already talking to you about perhaps finding a surrogate and in-vitro fertilization, getting your opinion and making sure you’d be okay with it. You told him to wait, perhaps, and give himself more time to allow his… swimmers… to get stronger. You hadn’t told him you were already prepared to carry his child for him. You wanted it to be a surprise. A gift.

But now, after dating for six months, there it was. Right there on the ultrasound screen: a tiny little baby belly bean, no bigger than your thumb. Whatever doubts you had were always drowned out by one sentence.

He’s going to be so happy.

You went into his office after getting home from the OBGYN, having told him you were simply going in for your normal bi-yearly check-up. He was working, like always, but he looked up when you came in and smiled.

“How’d it go?” He asked you.

“Totally normal and healthy,” You replied. The both of us.

“I’m glad to hear that,” He said, putting down his pen. “No lunch with Amai? It’s Wednesday.”

“I know,” You said. “But I wanted to spend time with you.”

His smile widened and he opened his arms. You went over and sat in his lap, giving him a kiss.

“So, you’re birthday is coming up,” You said nonchalantly.

He snorted. “I haven’t celebrated my birthday in over one hundred years.”

“All the more reason to do it now!” You insisted. “I want to take you on a weekend trip. There’s somewhere special I want you to see.”

“And what would that be?” He asked, smiling at you fondly.

“A surprise,” You said, twitching his nose. “It’s in New York, though.”

His head rocked back. “That’s a ways away. Why are we going so far?”

“You’ll see. Do you want to go? Please?” You looked up through your lashes at him, being playful, hoping you weren’t being too weird and that he didn’t suspect anything.

“Well, alright. I don’t really have much work to do right now.”

You sat up and looked at him in shock, laughing. “I totally didn’t expect you to agree!”

He hugged you close and laughed too. “Well, there’s no reason not to, I suppose. And I’ll do just about anything for you if you ask nicely enough. God, it’s been ages since I actually took an actual vacation.”

“See? Perfect timing.” You bit your lip and looked at the door slyly. “Does the door lock?”

His eyes flicked to the door and back to you, narrowing them. “Yes. But the room isn’t soundproof.”

“I can be quiet. Promise.”

You thought he’d decline and say it was inappropriate to be intimate in his office, that he’d see you after he was done working and then the two of you could play back at his massive suite. Which was now your suite as well, as you’d moved in with him about a month ago.

What you didn’t expect was him to grin sinfully at you and get up, closing the blinds. He went around to lock the door and sat on the couch on the opposite side of his desk and patted his lap. Smirking, you joined him.

Climbing into his lap slowly, straddling him, you went in for a deep, probing kiss, dragging your fingernails down his chest over his shirt. He groaned against your lips and put his hands on your legs, petting under your skirt and slip, raking his fingers against the lip of your stockings. You’d taken to wearing stockings because he rather liked them. It seemed to do a lot to turn him on, especially when they were all you were wearing. He also had a corset fetish, too, but you couldn’t wear a corset all the time, especially around the children, so stockings were a happy medium.

He kneaded your buttocks under your skirt as you reached between the two of you and unbuckled his pants, unzipped the zipper, and reached in, fondling him over his underwear. His groaned deepened and he squirmed underneath you, his head falling back onto the cushions.

You started kissing his neck, pulling up his shirt and running your hands up his back. He had large, curious scales on his back, an artifact of his fae heritage. They were a lot like pangolin scales: wide, brown, and ridged. He often wore special padded shirts, because normal shirts were shredded by the end of the day. You thought they were adorable and loved grooming them for him, which he greatly enjoyed and made him almost purr, though you could cut a finger on them if you weren’t careful.

He reached under you and pulled your panties aside, lining himself up with your entrance. You sank slowly down onto him, drawing it out, and he hissed in a breath, biting his lip to keep quiet. You began to move on him, and he moved under you, thrusting up as you thrust down. He was always a very active, enthusiastic participant during sex, even if you took the lead. One hundred years of celibacy might have had something to do with that.

He flipped your skirt up and tucked it into your waistband so that he could watch himself go into and out of you, watch your thighs flex and contract, and run his thumbs up the straps of your stockings. You pulled the tie from his white-blonde hair and shook it out of it’s neat braid, letting it fall around his shoulders so that you could play with and tug on it. His pace quickened, and you matched his rhythm, the both of you beginning to pant and moan, quickly suppressed.

There was a knock on his door. “Dr. Halvorg? I need your signature on these invoices.”

He pulled you against his shoulder, muffling your sounds of pleasure, but he didn’t stop thrusting. You bit into his shoulder to keep yourself for crying out.

“What are they for?” He called through the door, his voice remarkably even-sounding.

“For the medical equipment from Broadchurch,” The assistant said.

“No, no, we never got the product, we’re not paying that,” He said, for all the world sounding like he was sitting as his desk staring at paperwork and not railing you on his couch.

“I’m going to cum,” You whispered into his ear.

“You promised to stay quiet,” He told you just as silently.

“I can’t!” You responded desperately.

“You promised.”

“So what should I do?” The assistant said, seemingly none the wiser that you were about to explode.

“Call them and ask where our equipment is. Until they locate it, they’re not getting a penny.”

You balled up his shirt in your hands and gritted your teeth as you came, gushing on him and holding your breath to stay quiet. You made a squeak, and his hand closed on your throat.

“Shh, shh,” He hushed.

“I’ll call them back, but I don’t think they’ll be very helpful,” The assistant replied. “They haven’t responded to any of the emails. The only communication is from emails.”

“Send them an email, then. I’m busy, though, so get on with it,” He said impatiently, staring at your face as your orgasm crested and ebbed, keeping a firm grip on your neck.

“Yes, sir,” The assistant said. You heard their footsteps recede.

“Oh, fuck,” You breathed.

“You did well,” He said, allowing his breathing to go fast and shallow. God, he had amazing self restraint. “Good girl. Stay still, I’m almost there.”

His pace became frenetic and bounced you high on his lap. He let go your your throat and gripped your hips, slamming you down upon him. He grunted, getting a little red in the face as he smacked his body into you.

You felt him release inside you, pulsing against your inner walls. When he was done, he flipped you over and lay you down on the couch, watching his seed well up and out of you to drip down onto the vinyl couch. He always did that, and you weren’t sure why.

You went to the en-suite bathroom to clean yourself up and brought him a wet towel so that he could do the same. When you were both done and had straightened your clothes, you spent a few minutes making out against his desk before he sighed.

“I should help my assistant contact the supply company. He’s a bit of a pushover, the poor kid.” Maël smiled down at you. “That was nice. We should do that more often.”

“We almost got caught!” You objected.

“Hey, it was your idea,” He said, grinning. “I’m looking forward to whatever you have planned for our trip. I’m sure it’ll be amazing.”

“It definitely will be. I promise.” You kissed him one more time, lingering for a moment, before unlocking the door and letting yourself out.

Next week, Saturday morning, you took a plane out to Albany, New York, and drove a rental car to a house in Glenmont. When you stopped in the driveway, Maël looked at you with confusion and a little bit of apprehension.

“I don’t understand,” He said. “What are we doing here?”

“You’ll see,” You replied. “Come on.”

You walked him up to the front door and knocked. A young woman in her forties or fifties answered.

“Hello?”

“Hi, are you Mrs. Winston?”

“Oh, yes, you must be the young woman I spoke to over the phone!” She said. “Come in, come in. He’s in the parlor.”

“Thank you so much.” You stepped into the house with Maël following. You could feel the curiosity and confusion radiating off of him.

You were led into a sitting room where a man in a wheelchair was reading a paper at a table. He was quite old, by human standards, in his mid-eighties perhaps. He was hooked up to an IV and had an oxygen cannula in his nostrils.

“Dad?” The woman said softly. “You’ve got visitors.”

The man looked up at the two of you. Despite his advanced age, he seemed completely within his faculties.

“Are you the woman I talk to?” He asked you.

“Yes, sir,” You responded. “Thank you for agreeing to see us.”

“It’s no problem,” He said. He was staring at Maël.

You pulled him forward. “Dr. Maël Halvorg,” You said to Maël. “I’d like you to meet Dr. Maël Halvorg. Robert’s son.”

Maël’s eyes widened and his mouth dropped in shock. He seemed unable to speak. You smiled at him encouragingly and nudged him forward.

He cleared his throat and held out his hand. “It’s a genuine pleasure to meet you, sir,” Maël said in a small voice. “May I sit down.”

“Please,” The man, Dr. Halvorg, said, shaking Maël’s hand and gesturing toward the chairs. You and Maël took a seat.

“Do you know who I am, sir?” Maël asked tentatively.

“I do,” Dr. Halvorg responded. “You raised my father.”

“Yes,” Maël said, smiling in relief. “I loved your father very much.”

“I know you did,” Dr. Halvorg replied. “My father spoke of a lot when I was growing up.”

“Is he… is he alive?”

“No. I’m afraid he died about eleven years ago,” Dr. Halvorg said sadly.

Maël sighed and hung his head a little. “I suspected that might be the case, but I hoped.” He looked back up at the older gentleman. “Did he grow up okay? What kind of man was he? I apologize, but I just have so many questions.”

Dr. Halvorg chuckled. “It’s no trouble. Honestly, I was hoping I might get to meet you one day.”

Maël smiled. “You were?”

“Oh, yes. May father told me so many stories about you when we kids were growing up.”

“How many children did he have?” Maël asked earnestly.

“Four sons,” Dr. Halvorg replied. “He was a great father and a brilliant man, though he said he had a rough start.”

Maël nodded. “Yes, Robert had some learning disabilities that made certain things difficult.”

“He told me that many people said he was lazy and stupid, and that you were the only one who believed he could learn. You dedicated much of your time to helping him.”

“Yes,” Maël said. “Being in school made him quite frustrated and sad, so I took him from school and taught him myself at home. He seemed to respond positively to that.”

“Indeed, he did,” Dr. Halvorg replied. “It was because of you that my dad became a teacher.”

“Robert was a teacher?” Maël asked delightedly.

“Oh, yes,” Dr. Halvorg responded. “He taught children much like himself, the ones who needed special attention and care. He was well respected in his field and much loved by his students. He didn’t want to retire, in fact. It was age and illness that forced him to stop.”

Maël held a hand to his chest. “I’m so proud to hear that. Robert was always a determined boy, so I’m so pleased to learn he kept at it.”

“He struggled, I’m afraid,” Dr. Halvorg admitted. “After his mother, my grandmother, left you for his biological father, things changed quite a bit. His father was not as understanding or as patient as you had been and set him back rather badly.”

Maël frowned. “I’m sorry to hear that.”

“As far as my memory goes, he never called that man ‘father.’ As far as he was concerned, you were his dad. But his biological father insisted on wiping you out of their lives. That’s why he had to hide that.” Dr. Halvorg pointed to a picture on the mantle. “Young lady, could you kindly retrieve that?”

“Of course,” You said, standing up and going to the mantle, where there was a black-and-white photograph in a frame. It was Maël, wearing fine early twentieth century clothes, his hair cut short and wearing a flat cap. He was standing with his hands on the shoulders of a young boy, perhaps eight, wearing similar clothes. You took it and handed it to Dr. Halvorg, who gave it to Maël.

Maël stared at the picture, his eyes bright and glittering with tears. “I never thought I’d see his face again.”

“Keep that,” Dr. Halvorg said. “He’d have wanted you to.”

“Oh, I couldn’t!” Maël said. “This is yours!”

“I have digital copies,” Dr. Halvorg said dismissively. “In any case, I won’t be needing it much longer anyway. Stage four lung cancer, you see.”

“I’m so sorry,” Maël said mournfully. “Can anything be done?”

Dr. Halvorg shook his head. “I’ve lived a good life. I have children, and grandchildren, a beautiful wife, a wonderful job. The one thing I wanted was to meet my father’s father. Not that other man who did his best to tear my father down. The man who did his best to lift my father up. You. And I’ve done that. I can go now content.”

Maël’s restraint cracked, and he wept. “I appreciate that very much,” He said in a strangled whisper.

Maël and Dr. Halvorg talked for hours, recounting stories from both Robert’s childhood and adulthood. Dr. Halvorg showed Maël pictures of his siblings and children. Maël told Dr. Halvorg about his life’s work in reviving dying races. You watched the two of them interacting, and it made your heart swell with gladness. You’d never seen Maël so happy and excitable.

Finally, nearing sundown, you realized that Dr. Halvorg was becoming tired. His daughter came in to give him his evening meal and medication, and the two of you said goodbye.

“It has been an absolute joy, Dr. Halvorg,” Maël said, shaking Dr. Halvorg’s hand. “You lovely daughter has my number and my email, so please keep in touch.”

“My pleasure,” Dr. Halvorg said. “You have a nice trip back with your lady, Grandad.”

Maël laughed and teared up again. “I will.”

Outside, before you could get back in the car, Maël pulled you into a tight, warm hug.

“Thank you,” He whispered into your hair softly. “Thank you so much. I love you. I love you. I can never repay you for this.”

“What about a diamond ring and a pretty white dress?” You asked, wiping his tears and smiling up at him.

He laughed. “It’s a deal.”

Back at the hotel, he sat on the bed and stared at the photograph, pointing out little marks on Robert’s face and telling you stories about them. You listened with your head on his shoulder.

Eventually he stopped and placed the frame carefully in his suitcase.

“Are you hungry? I’m starving. Let’s order something.”

“Before we do,” You said. “I have a birthday gift for you.”

He chuckled incredulously. “Honey, I appreciate that, but honestly, there’s no possible way you could have topped what you gave me today.”

“Are you sure about that?” You asked, going to your suitcase and pulling out a small rectangular box. “Here, open it.”

The second he saw the pregnancy test, he fell to his knees, sobbing loudly, his head pressed against the floor. You knelt next to him and rubbed his back, letting him get it all out. Years of despair, pain, and sadness being released. You’re sure he was overwhelmed, so you waited in silence and lay your head against him.

“Is this real?” He choked.

“It’s real,” You assured him. “I have an ultrasound picture.”

His head popped up, tears streaming down his face. “Can I see it?”

“Of course,” You said, pulling it from your purse.

“Oh, my God,” He wept, staring at the small bean in the picture. “Oh, my God. It’s mine?”

“Yes, honey, it’s yours,” You said. “We can do a paternity test if you want, but I promise you it’s your baby.”

He stopped being able to speak and just cried. He cried for a very long time. You picked him up and laid him in the bed and ordered some food. While waiting for it, you climbed into bed and held him.

“Are you okay?” He asked after some time.

“Me? Yeah, I’m completely fine. Are you okay? You were crying pretty hard there. I’m surprised you haven’t fallen asleep. I’d be exhausted.”

“That’s not what I mean,” He said, lifting your chin so you were looking at him. “Are you okay with having a baby? I know I’ve been talking about wanting to have a child for as long as we’ve known each other, but is this what you want?”

“Yes, it is,” You told him. “I stopped my birth control months ago.”

“You didn’t tell me you’d done that,” He said.

“I wanted it to be a surprise,” You said, stroking his cheek.

“You. Are. Amazing,” He breathed. “I am so happy. Happier than I have any business being, and it’s all because of you.”

“You deserve to be happy, Maël,” You said. “Don’t ever thin’ otherwise.”

He pressed his forehead against yours. “I love you.”

“I love you back.”

Yenuno and Amai we’re overjoyed to hear the good news, and the children also seemed to be happy to have a new playmate coming. Maël seemed unable to stop smiling. He took time off from work to take care of you during the worst of your morning sickness and was present for every doctor’s appointment, every ultrasound, every time you even texted him. If you asked, he’d drop anything he was doing to come and help you.

His little girl was born in the spring, and he named her Roberta. He took her everywhere with him, rarely putting her down for any reason, even keeping her on his shoulder when he was working. The joy that radiated from him was infectious, and everyone near him couldn’t help but smile at his brand new attitude.

You planned your wedding for fall that same year, and afterward, you and Maël were able to take Roberta up to New York to meet Dr. Halvorg. He passed away a few weeks later. You and Maël attended his funeral, and as Dr. Halvorg was buried in the same family plot as Robert, Maël got the chance to visit his son’s grave for the very first time.

“Hi, Robert,” He said softly, kneeling down in front of the headstone. You waited with Roberta asleep in your arms a few paces back.

“I’m sorry,” Maël said, his voice breaking. “I’m sorry I didn’t do more when your mother took you. I wish I had fought to keep you, but I didn’t think I had any right. I just wanted to know where you had gone and if you were safe, but she told me nothing about where you were going and disappeared. I bribed the men at the train station and the docks to look through the ledgers, to try and find your name, but I never found it.

“I will always blame myself for not doing more, for not stepping in and making sure we could keep in contact. I should have taken it to the courts and let them decide, but I… I was scared they would determine I trying to hold on to something that wasn’t mine.”

Maël sniffed and wiped his eyes.

“I just wish I had one more chance,” He continued. “I wish I could have had a phone call, at the very least, to talk to you and hear your voice and tell you what I should have said back then. That it didn’t matter whose child you were biologically or legally. I was your father. You were my son. Nothing would ever change that.” His voice cracked further. “You will always be my son.”

After a moment silent tears hitting the grass where Robert lay sleeping, Maël straightened up an took a deep breath.

“I know where you are now, and I’ll come visit again, you and my grandson,” Maël said. He laughed. “I can’t believe you named your son after me. I’m honored more than I can tell you.”

Maël turned to you and opened his arms for the sleeping form of his daughter, his face wet with tears, and you passed her over.

“You have a baby sister, Robert,” He said, smiling. “I named her after you. She’s always smiling and happy. She reminds me so much of you when you were little that it’s kind of scary. I think the two of you would have been best friends. I’ll make sure she knows all about you.”

You put a hand on his back and rubbed gently. He kissed Roberta’s forehead and tiny little ear.

“We have to go now, Robert. You’re baby sister is going to wake up soon and be hungry. But I’ll come back to see you again, I swear. This time, I promise I’ll come back.”

As winter crested into spring again, Roberta was walking and had said her first word: “Daddy.”

You were still teaching at the facility, and had taken up the job permanently. Yenuno and Amai’s little girls were Roberta’s favorite playmates, though they had been warned to be careful, as Roberta developed more slowly than they did.

“Can we have another one? Please?” Maël asked one night as he watched gleefully as Roberta used her fat baby fists to shove raviolies in her mouth.

“Give me another year, but yes,” You replied.

“A year!” Maël whined. “That’s so long!”

“Don’t sass me,” You told him. “A year and no sooner. Besides, you still have more work to do. Did you get in touch with the Celtic Fae Council?”

“Yes, finally,” He replied, picking up his fork. “I didn’t realize how much red tape was involved. Genetic testing is underway. So far, there have been three men with similar blockages as mine. There are also a few women who were born missing one or both ovaries. We’re trying to trace back when this infertility spike started, but it could have been a millennium ago.” He laughed as Roberta threw a ravioli across the room. “I think she’s done, she’s just smashing them into her tray now.” He stood up and swept her up out of her seat, not even caring about the marinara stains on his shirt. “Come on, sweet pea, let’s take a bath. Eh? Eh, princess?”

He bounced her and she squealed.

You got up from your seat and came up behind him, circling him around the waist with your arms.

“You’re a good dad, honey,” You told him. “Roberta’s lucky. We both are. And so is our future children.”

He turned in your grip and kissed you. “If luck exists, you brought it with you. None of this would have happened without you. You are a miracle.”

You kissed him again and pushed him toward the bathroom. “She’s putting ravioli in your hair.”

He belly laughed and headed for the bathroom. You followed and marveled at how much had changed, wondering how it would change again. You looked forward to it.

Since my work is no longer searchable, please do me a favor and reblog this story if you enjoyed it. Help me reach a wider audience! To help me continue creating, please consider becoming a Patron or donating directly to my PayPal!

Thanks for reading!

My Masterlist

The Exophilia Creator’s Masterlist

[bumackerman]

DEAR ADULT READERS/CREATORS,

18+ (MINORS DO NOT INTERACT)

^ see that? there is absolutely no way you missed that disclaimer if you understand the proper way to read english. but, let’s say you did miss it... here’s this message;

if you are under the age of 18, do not interact with 18+ adult accounts, or content.

there. hopefully you got the memo. if not, then i guess, one day, you’ll have the great opportunity to be featured in this brand new series of exposing, purging, and reporting minors! i mean... yay you?

disclaimer!; do not send any unnecessary hate to any of these people! it does not solve anything, and it could get you in trouble. just report, and block. thanks.

featured today, we have (drumroll please)... @/matching-with-my-demons!

warning: this post is very long!

alright, so i don’t actually know for sure if he’s necessarily a minor, but i do know that he’s been lying his age, and many, many other details about his life, leading to him getting caught by yours truly.

from this point forward, i will be reciting a briefed account of what exactly happened from a collective point of view of all of the victims involved.

I. beginning.

so, (and i think all of the people involved can agree,) this person is a flirt. automatically. just giving everyone pet names, talking about doing stuff with us, role playing with us, you know. nothing too extreme. i wasn’t suspicious of him at this point. i mean, i was sure he was 18+. to be fair, he did mention that he was 21 turning 22. why wouldn’t we believe him? he was speaking like an adult.

II. little lies & suspicion.

now, i’m not saying that this is impossible, but at multiple times during our conversations, he’d mentioned that he was was fluent in seven languages. seven. it’s not entirely impossible, but you’d think that if english wasn’t someone’s first (of many) languages, they’d have some sort of accent, right?

not only that, but he stated that he was six years old when he moved to america from japan, and he hasn’t moved since. i know, i know, yeah, cool he knows a lot of languages, and he’s a foreigner. yadda, yadda. get to the point.

he said that he was of asian descent, and that his parents were both japanese, and they lived in japan their whole lives. where the hell is he learning all of these extra languages at the young age of 21?

if japanese is his first language, we can cut out the time needed to become fluent in it. next, i’m ignoring english, as he would’ve had from the age of 6 to 21 to become fluent in it, but somehow he claimed he wasn’t? (let’s not mention the obvious fake misspellings and misunderstandings of simple words.) how on earth would he have become fluent in (at least) five other languages in middle school-high school?

OTHER LITTLE LIES N DETAILS

- he claimed that he was a 6’7, 21 year old (cis) male.

- said he was a stripper, bartender, and a sex worker (we’ll come back to that later).

- sent a picture of “his” chest, but it was 100% from google or some shit.

- (not judging anyone who does) he said that his body count was 74, but literally no one asked?

- he texted us when he “got another body” tf? we don’t care. carry on, i guess. (said he went on for like 7 rounds but... what?)

- talked about getting a vibrator stuck in his ass n his roommate had to get it out for him, but once again, nobody asked. °-°

- said he could bench 200 lbs. not impressive, just thought it was worth mentioning.

- said he had the same birthday as bakugou, which, okay.. (4/20)

- he made multiple channels in the server where he could roleplay with certain people, which, i, and a couple other people never used.

III. the voice chat.

after a while of all of us messing around, the conversation started to get heated, and some of us were teasing him, including me. we decided to get on voice chat (his idea), and he started talking into the mic. all of us were very confused, as he did not at all sound like a giant of a grown man.

but, despite this, we all warily continued, until he left the call. when he left, everyone who was participating voiced their current concerns, and laughed out our nervousness. that is, until he re-joined and everyone muted. he continued doing what he was doing until he “broke character”, stating he was a voice actor and it was hard to keep up that voice because it hurt his throat. i would’ve believed him if he didn’t sound the exact same as he did when he was “in character”.

after that, we were a lot more concerned and on edge about his identity, and i started to focus more on the shit he was telling us, hoping to find out who the fuck this person really was. i stopped interacting with him in a nsfw way, and mostly observed what he was saying, just watching from the sidelines.

II. the pictures.

captions:

not only do the skin colors just not match up, the hands in each picture are totally different people. even if you take into account the lighting differences, the undertones should still be the same. these pictures are fake.

if you look at the fingers, you can see that the ones on the right are flatter, and shorter. if the hand on the left were to hold that phone, it would wrap all the way around the device.

from a common sense standpoint, we know that our palms are always lighter than our skin tone. the fact that the hand on the left is still darker, proves that these are different people. (not that we needed proof.)

also, if this guy is so muscular, why can he only bench 200lbs? and why is his wrist so skinny?

+ to me, the phone, (right image) and the quality of the picture, looks like a black iphone 4s. from what i can see, at least. meaning, if i’m correct, that picture is majorly outdated.

for both pictures, he flipped the image so that we wouldn’t be able to find it by just by reverse image searching. luckily, one of the people involved was able to figure that out, and told me immediately.

III. ID check.

like i said before, a lot of us were starting to get really suspicious, but at this point, i thought i was the only one that was sketched out, so i issued another ID check.

(be sure to click on the pictures. one of them is really long. also, when reading, read the date and times that messages are sent. i was trying to lighten the mood and be nice, but it was honestly so offensive that he thought i was legitimately dumb.)

so, obviously, these ID’s are fake. not only are the pictures the exact same, but the backgrounds are the same, the outfits are the same, the names are totally fake, and just, wow. i don’t really know how he thought that was gonna slip past me.

after i called both him, and @/yourmajesty-theking out, he went into his own discord and started ranting to some of the other people involved that he was freaking out because he didn’t have his ID.

remember how i said that he mentioned he was a stripper/bartender/sex worker? why the fuck don’t you have your ID on you if you claimed you were at work that day? you can’t get in without it. °-° just- everything he was saying didn’t come together cleanly. the timeline is all sorts of fucked up.

you can’t drive without an ID, how are you getting to work? you can’t get into a strip club without an ID, how are you getting in? you can’t serve alcohol without and ID, how are you a bartender? you can’t get an apartment without an ID, how are you living with a roommate?

he told us that he moved to america with his PARENTS, and somehow his grandmother is in america now? when did that happen? if you’re gonna lie, at least make it believable.

IV. conclusion.

anyway, do what you want with this information. the people in the discord all agreed that based off his voice and the evidence, that he couldn’t have been older than 15, and at most, 16.

though he hasn’t deactivated his account, the last time he was active was april 7, 2021 at 12:39am (EST) he claims he lives in cali, so i don’t know what time that is there.

thanks for reading. i’m sure i missed a lot of stuff, but for now, this is all i could put together. also, lmk if there are any spelling errors. i’m too tired to check.

like i said, if i get any hate for calling out a minor, you will be blocked/reported, and i will not hesitate to turn anons off for the time being. besides, saying dumb shit doesn’t affect me. just makes me laugh.

- bum <3