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causenessus · 1 month

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HELLOOO GOOD AFTERNOON!! how are you doing <3 i already told u ab what happened at my school today but MORE HAPPENED. i was walking out to my friend's car since it was the end of the day and we were gonna drive back to our apt BUT BRO???? ness idefk what happened but a car bumped into me im not even joking 💔 like bumped me from behind and made me fall over. like how does that even happen omf 💔 not demure, nor mindful. BUT IM PERFECTLY FINE DONT WORRY!! i just scraped up my palms and my arms a liiiittle bit 🙂‍↕️ so i hate parking lots that was not cute at all

I SAW YOU AND MANGO ANON TALKING ABOUT ZODIACS A LITTLE BIT ONE TIME WHEN U ANSWERED THEIR ASK AND WAS LIKE OH!! NOW IM CURIOUS!! like im really not big on astrology i only know that im an aquarius thats all ive got! but i was searching up like what certain signs' relationships look like? i guess? or like compatibility? one of my friends are a cancer AND I KEPT SEEING THAT THEYRE THE LEAST COMPATIBLE W AQUARIUSES? (is that the right plural of it? aquarians? idk whatever) so like i had a revelation and i remembered you were a cancer so i was lowkey disappointed with all of the zodiac compatibility stuff i was seeing online 😞 ALSO I SAW THAT MANGO ANON GOT A BURNER!! (i mean like i saw through your post i didnt find their blog LMAOAOA) is this the end of an era?? if it is im gonna miss seeing their asks and your responses on my dash aaaaadbsjk they are so cute!!

ANYWAY lately ive been really pondering (i feel like this word is funny to me) what an ideal friend looks like to me because someone at school asked me that😭 i feel like the first people that came to mind were you and mango anon!!! i keep mentioning them SORRY i just adore how sweet they are omf 💔 why am i telling you this? idk! but i feel like in terms of friendships i seek out people like you!! i cant really describe the traits SPECIFICALLY but i feel like you're a super good friend ‼️ i was also curious what an ideal friend looks like to you though! cause i feel like people always look for specific traits or have traits that theyre naturally gravitated towards and they're always super different from person to person, yk? KINDA RANDOM THO LMAO

ALSO today in my speech n debate class my friend started drawing on my hand as we listened to people's oo's from the national oratorical (is that even what it's called i have no idea) and like... i totally zoned out.. so now im behind in that class JUST A LITTLE!! listening to peoples speeches can be so boring i have serious regrets regarding choosing that class honestly 😞 but i feel like it's also one of the more fun classes you can take to fulfill the speech credits for graduation so i GUESS im staying... some of the people in that class are super cool!! getting peer pressured into joining the competitive team sigh

THATS ALL IVE GOT TODAY!! I FEEL LIKE THIS ONE WAS KINDA LONG OOPS. how are you doing ness!! i hope you're getting enough rest! make sure you're drinking enough water and eating! AND DONT FORGET YOUR MEDS ‼️ I LOVE YOU

HELLO SAV!! i??? i??? i can't? A CAR BUMPED INTO YOU??? LITERALLY DID THEY LIKE APOLOGIZE??? MAKE SURE YOU WERE OKAY??? ANYTHING AT ALL???? THAT IS SO HORRIBLE 😭 I'M SO GLAD YOU'RE OKAY BUT OMG THAT'S LITERALLY AN INJURY?? LIKE????????????????????????

AND AWH DW 😭 tbh i don't think i know many aquariuses (idk the plural version either!!) BUT THE STARS HAVE NOTHING ON US </3 AND YES!! MANGO ANON GOT A BURNER BUT I THINK WE'LL STILL BE YAPPING THROUGH ASKS A LOT <3 IT'S JUST FOR US TO BE LIKE "i miss u </3" and tell each other short things in the meantime 😭

AND AW THAT'S SO SWEET AND KIND THANK YOU SO MUCH :((( PLEASE DON'T APOLOGIZE AT ALL FOR BRINGING US/MANGO ANON UP!! you're not doing it a lot or anything so don't worry at all <33 idk who my ideal kind of friend is!! like everyone is so unique and i think i get along with most people <3 i just really appreciate people who are like very understanding and kind!! like obviously i'm very?? like soft hearted?? or like gentle. like for example i don't like to curse outside my fics bc for me i always associated it with being mad?? or just kind of scary?? like ofc i really don't care if other people curse!! it's just a personal preference/choice and so i think i just appreciate people who are observant and kind!! idk everyone super cool :D and i've learned a lot from people who are different from me so i like most people!! (just not middle school freshmen boys who are super rude and annoying and loud yk 🌝)

SPEECH AND DEBATE SOUNDS HORRIBLE 😭 I'M SORRY BUT I COULD NEVER I'M SO LUCKY MY SCHOOL DIDN'T HAVE A SPEECH REQUIREMENT OR ANYTHING BC I WOULD NOT HAVE SURVIVED </33 and i've always been like a very "idc!! u have ur opinion and i have mine i'm not gonna try and convince u to have my opinion!! like seriously idc pls i don't want to argue or debate!!" so i really just could not survive that class at all but best of luck to you!!

IT WAS GOOD TO HEAR FROM YOU SAV!! i am doing ok!!! it's nice bc idk my manager didn't really schedule me this entire week 😭 BUT I'M NOT COMPLAINING!! I AM LIVING MY BEST LIFE WITH ALL THIS FREETIME LIKE I ACTUALLY AM REALLY ENJOYING IT so that's been nice!! AND THANK YOU SO MUCH <33 TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF TOO!! I HOPE YOU TOOK YOUR MEDS!!

#answers <3 #i heart sav <3

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keruworld · 1 year

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Why you should love Azuma Michinaga!

Actually Im not trying to convice anyone to like him. In fact if you hate him... go away plz XD... or if you want to read what I have to say... stay. OwO

I also im doing this because there’s a lot of unjustified hate towards him, that makes me wonder if we have watched the same show.

This is just my feelings about Michi... because it have been an experience to like him. He’s definitely not the type of character that I usually love, but here I’m loving him a lot. Shipping aside he’s definitely the best character in Geats for me. I will not cover shipping preferences in this because that could be another topic XD and you know... let’s be real, no matter who your fav ship in Geats is, it will never be canon. If Geats production team is pushing the AzuAce agenda is just marketing, they know very well that sells (and Im buying it XD).

I will also counter the usually speech of people that hate him: He’s evil, he kills people, he dont deserve redemtion arc... etc, etc... Excuse me? Have you pay attention to the show? Or we have not watched the same show?

So... let’s go to see why you should love Michinaga as much as Ace does:

Those that knows me or know this blog... know already that I hated 01! I was prepared to hate Geats the same way that I hated 01 just because Yuuya Takahashi (the main writer). I didnt expect to enjoy this series as much as I do now. Moreless to love a character as Michinaga: A tsundere boy, self centered with anger problems, revenge and the desire to crush all Kamen Riders. The boy sound exactly like everything that I could hate. X,D

Michinaga was my fav from Geats pressconference... why? because he looked like a Kamen Rider Blade character... in fact he looked like the combination of Kenzaki and Hajime. (and I still have my head canon that Michi is their son X,D But that’s for another post X,D).

So yeah my like for him in the beggining was just something totally unrelated to the show. Was just his looks. I didnt care at all for him in the first episodes... in fact I didnt care for anyone in the show. Nor Ace, Neon, or even Keiwa seems like good people to the heart in the beggining. Entering this DGP to fulfill their dreams and go with it without really asking why? how? and when? Ofc, this is what this story is about, specially with a main protagonist that we know nothing about.

Michinaga was an average character (may be annoying yes) till the moment he die in early episodes (ep 15 I believe), the scene of him dying in Ace arms was really significant, specially because is the first time we see the boy being true with his words, saying to Ace: Give me a reason to believe on you. before pass out.

Before the episode, every interaction of Michinaga and Ace have been interesting... because indirectly Ace have been advising him, with words: if you dont give up the chance to win will came. Surely... in those episodes Ace didnt see Michinaga as a rival at all... may be just like an annoying lad. But everything change when he returned from the dead. And this is where Michanaga character turn to get interesting for saying the least.

This point is where Michinaga turns into what we call an antihero. He returns from dead to know the other side of the coin of the DGP. He was almost killed by Niram. He was picked up by Beroba like a playing toy without escape from the womans hand (she literaly says: join me or I kill you right here). Michinaga was pushed between the sword or the wall, something that haters tends to forget, he had no option to join to Beroba’s side (he didnt enjoy any of that).

I was totally amazed by Michinaga’s guts. The boy survived Niram deadly attack, like an annoying insect that wanted to survive. Then Michinaga state: FUCKS the DGP. He stated he wanted to crush the DGP now that he knows more than the facade. And I was: GO KING, TOTALLY DO IT, even if it destroys you!! TTATT

I became a fan of Michinaga’s guts. It was the begining of the arc 2 of the series, and I was annoyed that the series totally forgot about the mistery of the DGP and Ace and the others decided to go along with all the DGP rules. So I was all go Michi go Michi, even if he looks like he was suffering because the buckle. TTATT

In this point we could say that Michinaga changed. Even his primary objective of revenge changed. And I was puzzled like Ace was XD because I truly didnt know what to expect from Michi. He was bad?! What he wanted to do? What the fuck is he thinking? Why he didnt join forces with Ace and others?. Deep down inside I wanted to believe that Michi was a good person even if he was converting in a Jyamato, because he didn't enjoy any of it, he didn't laugh, he didn't smile, he even had to overcome the shadow of his friend, and he did in the most cold way possible.

We could safely say that Michi fighted to the top of his position to be consider Geats rival. I believe that by the end of the JGP, Ace totally considered Michi his equall, his rival. It’s character development at his finest.

Now, since the bullgame that Beroba trampled (because she always got in the way of the true intentions of Michinaga, but he go along with her just for reach his objective) we start to know that Michinaga is not all EVIL, he even did the Bullgame for stop the casualities. And everything starts to fit together like a puzzle.

Michinaga became the biggest hypocrite, he won even if costed him everything. And now he has the power that he wished for (and is using it for good, even Ace knows, thanks sukiyaki scene of ep36) and to this point he have joined sides with Ace to get down the DGP. I truly LOVE IT. Michiniga embodies what a Kamen Rider is to it’s core: fight evil with the power of evil.

About Michinaga being the biggest hypocrite, I just have to say that there’s no better thing than a hypocrite that knows that is hypocrite. You know... everyone in Geats is a hypocrite to a degree, even the goodest boy Keiwa, after all Geats goes by the premise: trample on the desires of others to achieve your desires.

That Michinaga don’t deserve redemption? Why? The boy havent been bad and evil, he didnt have any option than join Beroba’s side, he didnt kill people, and all the people that died in the heaven or hell game was casualities, like any other DGP game before it. Kamen Riders couldn’t save all the people in the DGP games, there have always been people that died (like Keiwa’s parents for example). The better that our Kamen Riders could do now is to get down the DGP, Ace and Michi knows... and its only matter of time that Keiwa joins them.

Now I could truly say that I’m enjoying Geats and all it’s cast. We still have time for the power ups and for all the boys and girl to act as true Kamen Riders.

It’s a shame that Geats is not the best, but is not the worse either. I’m aware of it’s faults, may be there have been too much focus on Michi (and haters gona hate X,D)... but come on he’s great, and it’s obvious that his spotlight will have to tone down this last part.

Now there’s a lot of tiny details to say about Ace and the others (Keiwa, Neon) and also about the production, but probably I will write about it till Geats ends. We still have the last quarter to watch, there’s still things to happen. So I will wait till the end.

Thank you if you have read till here. Let’s all love Michi, because he’s more than a tsundere boy with anger problems. He’s a good boy to the heart, he’s a good little bull! U3U And like Ace, Keiwa and Neon... he deserves to be happy and smile from the bottom of his heart. TTATT

#Kamen Rider Geats #opinion #spoilers #Azuma Michinaga #Michi #Micho #Michito #little bull #i love him a lot #mokudai kazuto #Michi dont deserves all the hate #haters gona hate #please pay attention to the show #he's a true kamen rider #la vaquita #la creaturita #tokusatsu

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bulbabutt · 8 months

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i broadly agree with your Mutant Mayhem 'Genghis and LH get the least screentime/focus' thing but I'm curious as to why Ray Fillet isn't also in that group Anyway, aside from the core four boys, here's how I'm breaking down 'shows up in the series' vs 'gets Other Darrin'd or is a no-show': Ayo Edebiri is cool enough and her April is important enough that I think she's in. Seth Rogen's bankrolling this whole thing so Bebop's fine, though given that Cena can be busy with other projects (see Rise) I'm not 100% on Rocksteady. Chan and Malone as Splinter and Ray definitely aren't making it, I think Malone's touring a new album. Rudd's proven surprisingly cool, I think he'll make it as Mondo. Scumbug's an easy in bc Hirsh doesn't have to do much. Leatherhead, Genghis and Wingnut I'm unsure of mostly bc I don't know how busy Byrne, Buress and Natasia are. Maya Rudolph's more a question of 'will Cynthia be plot-important in the series at all', after all, Shredder's being saved for the actual movie sequel so I don't think he'll actually appear/talk. But this is all speculation

*me going through my own blog to see what i said about mm 6 months ago* i didnt include ray fillet cuz he genuinely had more lines (singing) in the movie, and hes one of the more blantant characters being shown to not be allowed to express himself by superfly (being told to stop singing) who by the end of the movie is allowed to do just that. like its a little on the nose but vs genghis who most people genuinely forget is in the movie and leatherhead who i think has 3 lines total, yeah hes utilized more. much more.

and yeah i very much doubt theyre getting jackie chan back in this which genuinely i remember saying "so theyre probably just gonna call eric bauza again arent they", some voice actors are able to perform remotely so who knows on most others

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kenthenugget · 1 year

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How Batching Comics Saved My Life

Jesus its been...quite a while since I last posted onto any of my tumblr accounts. Its not that I didn't forget that I had an account here, its just that I've been busy with school and my drawing Crescent Blue. Meaning any free time I have is limited which results in me neglecting like half of my socials. Comics and college has made doing social media difficult. That and I wasn't sure how to handle 2 out of the 3 tumblr blogs I have. But I've thought that I had use this specific blog for text blog posts, along with drawings I'm working on and stuff like that. Most of it will be a lot of writing type stuff like this so this should be fun. Anyways, onto the topic I wanted to talk about.

I've been drawing Crescent Blue for coming on 4 years now. And those 4 years were spent drawing its first Chapter. Its overly long chapter. I have realized the mistake I made back when I was prepping to draw it back in 2019, where 16 year old me who had never drawn a comic at this scale decided to go out adapting the opening chapter draft which was written to be the length of a double length tv show pilot (because that's how wrote scripts back in the day) without realizing the implications of how many pages I would have to draw, and that maybe I should've done more prep work to make sure I wouldn't be working on it well into college. Because I probably would've gotten burnt out with it after being stuck on it for so long. And that would end up happening when 2021 rolled around. Thanks to mental health struggles I faced through out 2020, which lowered my tolerance to drawing comics which I didn't enjoy, I had drawn a total of 28 pages by going into the new year. Feeling ashamed of that pace, I managed to motivate myself and make it a new years goal to devote more time to my comic and get faster in order to complete my first chapter. This manifested in a couple of ways, from illustrating backgrounds in graphite as to avoid inking them and potentially screwing them up, to manning up and move to drawing it digitally as opposed to traditionally (I did not have access to photoshop or a good drawing tablet when I had started so I did what I had always done and use paper, pencils and inking pens/brushes. However, I would get my XP Pen Artist 12 for my 17th birthday 2 months later, and I would be able to use photoshop at home by early 2020). But what I mostly did was focus on drawing pages more, moving onto the next one after finishing the last one without taking a break. Basically muscling my way through with the expectation that I would eventually get faster. This did not work, and here's why.

This one by one approach isnt bad on paper, and there are plenty of artists out there that drawing comics this way and don't have any issues. For me, the issue I found with this process was that it didnt lend itself very well to spend. Not all pages are created equal, taking longer or shorter to complete depending on the complexity of the drawing. In my experience, there were pages that took only a couple of hours to complete, and others that took days to get done, and this isn't factoring in stuff like school. This aspect brings up the problem with me muscling through pages. There are times where I dont want to work on my comic, and often times after I would finish a page, I wouldn't have enough motivation to get to the next one. But in my attempt to not spend years drawing my first chapter, I would force myself to draw pages even when I didn't want to. This results in numerous cases of burnout and art block, which can cripple you and slow you down, defeating the point of muscling through it all. One notable instance of this I can remember happened in February last year.

By July of 2022, I would've been drawing Chapter 1 for 3 years and as my new years resolution, I wanted to get it done by that time. I had made great progress in 2021, catching up to page 75 by the time of new years, and I felt confident in my ability to get it done that year. That hope was shattered when I did what I had done with one of my pages and complete a future page ahead of time. Said page was the last post I made on this blog which I've actually completed a few weeks ago. The numbering for that page is 148 (was probably lower last year as I did end up adding pages during that time thanks to rewrites). And at that time, I had just passed the 80th page mark. It was then that I realized the implications of what I needed to do in order to get Chapter 1 done that year. I would've had to draw more than double the amount of pages I had drawn in 2021, and given the way I was drawing comic pages at the time, I knew deep down that wouldn't be possible. But not wanting to admit it, I tried muscling through the pages I was working on, hoping that if I pushed myself beyond my limit I would miraculously become faster and more efficient. But that didn't happen. The stress caused by my realization and the refusal to accept it caused me to become more and more agitated, which caused me to make errors and not draw as well as I would've wanted. Said agitation also clouded my thoughts and made drawing more and more difficult as soon as I knew it. I had burned myself out.

I think I've done a good job at laying out why this method didn't work for me, and if I was still drawing comics this way, I would not be finishing my first Chapter this year. And at this point, I would like to take a moment to shout out @the-underground-beauty. If it hadn't been for her, I not have found out about batching and I wouldn't have been even close to ending this long ass chapter. I was in a discord call with them and other art friends I knew, and I talking about ways of becoming faster at completing pages. They explained that they batched multiple pages instead of drawing them one by one like I had. Like, you would do the layouts for one page, then you would do the layouts for the next page, same goes for sketching and inking. This makes it so that instead of dumping all of your energy into one page, you're spreading that work into multiple pages and thus, become more efficient. Now you might be wondering how this would be better than my old method. Wouldn't working on multiple pages at the same time instead of going one by one be worse? In my experience, it's the complete opposite.

Along with the upsides I've mentioned above, its also very flexible in regards to inking/coloring. In the past, I found myself getting board with pages and wanting to move onto the next one but couldn't because I had to finish the one I was working on. I don't need to worry about that with batching. I can go in chronological order or skip pages to come back to them latter. This can be very handy when it comes to complex pages that would take a lot of time to complete. If Im not feeling up for it at that moment, I can just skip that one and come back later once I feel ready. It also points out the most time consuming part of drawing comics, sketching. Inking is one thing, but when you're doing a lot more work when doing the sketches. And depending on what the storyboards call for, the sketching process for a given page can take a pretty long time and a lot of energy. But with the batching process, the energy I would've spent finishing said page with inking and shading/coloring can be better spent on other pages. This means that I would need to worry a whole lot when inking as most of the hard work was done prior.

Batching also helps with putting what you're working on into perspective. Throughout most of my time drawing my comic, I found it difficult to view the pages I'm working on as being apart of a much larger story, rather than on a page by page basis. I would spend so much time on them that I would view the page I was working on as being its own separate thing, unrelated to the pages that came before or after. Batching, in a way, solved this issue, because now that Im working on a part all at once instead of going page by page, it helped me view what I'm working on as being pieces of a story, rather than being their own thing. I felt that the pages I was batching had more unity to them than the ones before it. Its difficult for me to describe this feelings, because I would always get it when finishing a part and rereading it. Pages that would take weeks to complete took more a couple of minutes to read, despite the specific pages taking so much time to finish. I haven't had that feeling after adopting batching as my new method of drawing comics, since every page all at once.

But how has it worked in practice? Well to see if batching was effective or not, I decided to batch the remaining six pages of what would by episode 7 on CB's tapas page. I got those done in a week. And 2 months later in May, I began work on pages 95 through 105 and this was the true test to to see if batching could really be effective for an entire part. I got it done with in a month. The after that wasn't as successful, but I mostly contribute it to external factors that had nothing to do with batching. At the start of this year, I decided to ditch the part by part method and go at the remaining 67 pages of Chapter 1 all at once. At the time of writing this, I'm still not finished with this Chapter yet but I don't expect it to be for quite long. I anticipate on wrapping it all up around June of this year. So with all this being said, I think I can conclude that batching comics has been way more effective in terms of speed. Over a 100 pages over the course of one year, way more than I had in the past with the old method. If I hadn't switched up the way I had been drawing comics back in March of last year, I don't think I would've come this far! Now I am aware that batching might not work for other artists, and that's fine. But if you are in a place like I was and want to get pages done quicker, I suggest giving it a try and see if it works for you or not :)

#comics #webcomics #art #artists on tumblr #art tips #artist rant

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spikeinthepunch · 1 year

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thinking of askbadlydrawnzisteau or any of the other blogs then bring me back to the concept of askblogs as a whole, and its something i think most tumblr users who joined 2016-2017 will never understand how much it played a part in many fandoms. they still exist, dont get me wrong. but there was a boom of them, and its never come back like that.

undeniably, the Onceler fandom really really started that boom. it was a fandom i was in, and with the hundreds of Oncelers out there, every one of them was making an askblog. it was insane if you weren't deep in it. i followed many of them even through their deoncelerization. askblogs stayed a thing across many fandoms during and after that period for some time. I still attempted them a few times later with @askhartley in 2017 and @ask-turboko in 2018, and its funny to say they were my first and only attempts at a serious ask blog, many years after my time in the Onceler fandom (this was due to not having the art resources to run one back then).

with both my Casey and TKO blogs, i was really trying to utilize what askblogs are so uniqe for. If you didnt follow some you wouldnt know- but askblogs were sometimes akin to webcomics. Some of those Onceler ones i followed had interesting stories that were directed by asks, and interactions from other blogs. It was all roleplay though, interactions were really not planned. With anon/user asks, it was almost like some kind of Choose Your Own Adventure. And its a form of storytelling that is SO impossible to achieve anywhere else! Because characters are literally getting advice from behind the fourth wall.

Asking the character "what do you think about person A?" "why did you do this?" "you know, what you did to person A was horrible..." theyre things that prod the main character in ways you just don't have happen in a TV show, movie, book, etc. Its not just the insight to a character's thoughts, because in an ask blog the users asking questions are their own role in the blog.

Overall askblogs just ignore the expected rules-- outside of the communication, people as askers would just... give blogs things. In asks, getting the *gives you Thing*. And let's not forget "Magic Anons" or M!As, where the character would be forced to following whatever it was. It could be totally silly- "M!A you're a catboy for the next 6 asks". But it was also an interesting literary device- "M!A you can't be nice to Person A for the next 24 hours". How often can you tell a story where people butt into it in ways you can't exactly control? Askers could push more trauma onto characters by being mean, or they could support them by being nice. They could turn their world upside down by communicating between blogs "I saw that Person B said this about you". Whatever it could possibly be!! You can't get it anywhere else.

I ache for a way to do this again, but as a platform Tumblr does make it easy- not only because it is already set up to send asks, but also because it makes it easy to grow a following, more so for the fandom ones. I think we gotta look more at askblogs more in what they are capable of doing when it comes to storytelling though- as I have read some of the most interesting stories unfold, and I absolutely love all the possibilities that can arise with them.

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cyanlastride · 11 months

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finally got around to watching rt's video on needy streamer overload, and it looks like a pretty cool game. watched some of the endings too. oddly relatable, which probably isnt a great thing. the whole ame/p-chan thing was... like, is this that bad? should i not be doing this? i dont really know how to...

it kinda brings up the question of why im writing any of this. its certainly not for any average user of this app, because i dont tag stuff so its basically impossible to find. its not really to communicate with my friends, because i have two of you on here and the stuff that i write isnt really meant for you to read. like, if you do thats great and feel free to engage and stuff but im fairly confident that neither of you have read anything past the first couple posts i made and thats totally fine but also hasnt stopped me from posting stuff. so the only person who is currently reading any of this on a day to day is me. which probably isnt healthy.

but maybe reading isnt the point? maybe i just enjoy writing this stuff? i find contentment in speaking into the void? does writing stuff as lily help me? or is it hurting? what does that even mean, writing as lily? did i write differently before?

am i trans, or am i delusional? does it matter? yes. yes i think it must. because there must be a difference between being literally trans and wanting to be someone youve made up because you hate yourself. you cant just be an evil prick and then decide to try again as a girl. is that what im doing? i think it is.

ive thought about this for a while, but its the first time im writing it down. im scared to post it, because it means that other people could potentially know in the future that ive had these thoughts, and they might be thoughts that youre not supposed to think. and this entire blog is proof that ive acted on them, at least a little. plus those assignments that i signed as lily. ive known that ive been thinking about this, but even that isnt permanent, because my memory is terrible. this is permanent. well, not actually, the internet forgets things too, but itll last a lot longer.

and again, i ask, to whose benefit is this? will the fact that i have written this on the internet bring me peace? ... ... ... it might.

what is my obsession with openness? i know it hurts people. i have hurt more people by telling them the truth than i ever have by lying. honesty is not a virtue, it simply a characteristic, same as all the others. will this post hurt people? possibly. i dont want it to. i dont see how it could hurt anyone other than myself at the moment, but im also pretty tired and not thinking 100% clearly.

i am probably going to regret this tomorrow.

but fuck it. this is a space where i am shouting my secrets into the void and if you didnt want to hear them you shouldnt have come here. this is my space, and im allowed to say whatever i want.

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sobrietywithnobullshit · 11 months

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My First Post (intro); TW: drug use & addiction.

sigh I always start things i don't finish, so this blog will probably be just another unfinished project that i forget about in a month. Sorry for the pessimistic outlook- it's a big habit of mine. Along with many more. This is going to be a semi long intro so bare with me.

So let's start this out typical. Hi my name is Sam and i'm an addict. Going on 8 years now. It's probably more like 10..ish. I say 8 though because there was a point in between using for fun and needing to use daily without getting sick, where i was sober for like a little over a year. So 8 years works for me.

Choice of drug: heroin, opiates, and most recently the antagonist in this story- fentanyl. Which is quite ironic i phrase it that way because they use antagonists to reverse the effects of opioids. If i had a choice, i would have never started using fet at all but these days that i all one can find. Besides that flesh eating shit, don't get me started on that lmfao. I have been lucky enough to not run into it- yet. Plus i don't shoot (i am terrified of needles) i snort. So my skin is safe for now lol. I also have been lucky enough to have never overdosed. Or die in that case. So praise the lawd.

Let's cover recent events that made me start this blog. About a month ago i entered a detox facility about 3 hours from where i live. I drove myself and stayed for a little over 5 days. Then left. All of you reading are probably like WHAT THE FUCK BRUH you were sooo close. Trust me i know. There was alot that happened there that was so unhealthy and ill make a post about all that shit later, but to sum up how i felt there besides sick from withdrawals, i felt like a damn science experiment.

Cut to two days later me wanting them to take me back and they wouldn't unless i started on suboxone (which i didnt want to again ill explain more about all this in another post). This time my parents drove me fucking 3 hours there and back for nothing. About a week or so later i entered a rehab facility 4 and a half hours from where i live. I drove myself again. I was under the assumption it would be guys and girls (it wasn't). There were alot more things i assumed and it wasn't the case. This will also be another post. But i left 24 hours in due to safety issues and drugs literally in the facility. Which was partially my fault.

Okay so my recovery hasn't been so good. I am currently using still and felt overwhelmed for about a whole month. I kept telling myself okay i will call the new rehab tomorrow. Then tomorrow turned into a month. I didn't even realize i was doing it until a month went by.

I have found a new detox facility a bit closer to home..2 hours lmao. I live in the middle of nowhere btw. So 2 hours is nothing, i drive two hours to get my fix every week so.. no big deal. Except this one was super hard to find because the name of it wasn't anything to do with detox or heroin or ya know. I'm not sure if i am going to be accepted or if they have an opening yet because i haven't called. And im not going to until i have everything in my life in order. They also have a really nice rehab that IS coed. It's also not in a hospital, its more holistic.

So that is where im at currently. I probably will call them on monday or tuesday of next week. I had to get some cash together, my clothes washed and packed, and i also had some random shit coming in the mail that i knew would get stolen if i didnt wait. But for the most part- everything is in order. So next week i could be getting clean again for the 4th time.

So this is me. Im sam. Which i should mention isn't really my name haha. But it is my favorite name. Always love samantha from totally spies. Maybe when i start getting clean and actually have more than 5 days, i will reveal my ugly mug. Thought about starting a tiktok but who knows. Social media has never really been my thing. But you know that because im literally starting a blog on tumblr i 2023 lmfao.

Anyways, sorry for the horrible format. Just kind of writing this spur of the moment. Just wanted to introduce myself. This blog will be about my sobriety journey with no fucking bullshit. That's one thing i hate. When people get clean and they pull the omggg jesus saved me. Or they get clean and forget that dirty part of themselves. I never want to forget this part of me because it's made me who i am. I will never be ashamed of that.

Talk soon. Please be safe out there. Message me if you need anything. It gets better.

xoxo sam

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posicpansy · 1 year

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haiiii :0P

welcom 2 my posic blawg!! for me, "posic" meanz i kind of see stuff and some places as sentient (to put it rlly simply). it depends on the thang honestly! also i am a dog, or summat lol X0D

im mostly connected to electrik objectz, floorz(car pet in particular) nick-nackz, stuffiez, & old stuff.

i rlly like tranzmission towerz, they are like angelz 2 me. toasterz also hold a special place in my heart. most objects are just people to me, but to varying degreez- thoze degreez arent for any reazon in particular tho. Also I don't really get into the habit of naming my itemz cuz i forget thingz ezily and i feel rood naming them.. ( like.. what if they had a name alredy? X0] )

I type like thiz on thiz blog bcuz itz ez + fun 4 me- if you need me 2 stop for a second cuz of reading issuez or summat i can totally do that B0] (i dont always talk this way.. sorry for any tonal whiplash that might cause! X0P)

DNIs don't rlly werk sooo... Wishing a painful death to all whom oppose my wonderful and jubilant existence!! Basically if youz a hater of minorities or harmless freakz plz kys neow!!! ^^ (i guess going away works too though...)

Sending love to all my non-haterz of the living & non-living persuasions on this puzzling planet of wonderz + woez (mostly wonderz though in my opinion)! I hope you hav a nice day- even if you didnt reed this far :0]

Okay okay... herez my tags if yu wanna reed them!

hashtag bowwow - ey! im talkin' here!

hashtag my buddiez - an objekt friend of mine iz featured here!

hashtag home - this place or image makes me feel at home! i probably want to sleep and/or live here!

hashtag beastly angels worthy of worship - transmission towerz + relaated elektrical stuff

hashtag elektrik! - most all other electrick objects!

hashtag flora - plants are the main focuz

hashtag líquido - liquid! usually watr

hashtag faux friends - plushies n similar life-imitating thingiez

hashtag face friends - maskz, helmets, n others!

hashtag neck adorners - necklaces, collars, etc!

hashtag otherzz - other objects that i haavent categorizzed

hashtag ft. feline - therez a cat in this!

hashtag ft. canine - therz a dog in this!

az a last note for any super reeederz- just waanted 2 say hai! im a little off mentally and i got voices in my hed but i guess i make for okay company! stay az long az you like + feel free 2 ask questionz! Thiz iz my houze though so plz dont be.. weird at me okay. okay cool baibai ^^

#hashtag bowwow #i dont think anyonell reed thiz! thiz blog is mainly juzt 4 me..#but new friendz are always welcome! i just don't talk 2 much at first ^^#okay bai lol! X0D

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buckymylove · 3 years

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Midnight Snacks

Part two of Movie Night

Message: How about like reader wakes up to the sound Steve made while taking a picture ( light sleepr because hydra) and pretends to be asleep ‘till the others leave and then starts to slip out of bucky but he turns out to be awake too and they just have a late night snack or talk about how she’s welcome and referencing from his own experience.

Warnings: food fight! Lol, tons of fluff, mentions of hydra/torture ish?

Word count : 4,400

A/n: MASSIVE thank you and shout out to the wonderful orihimi-19, for helping me with this idea! Sending loads of love.🤍🤍 Im so sorry this took so long, i started this blog when I was in quarantine and have barely had time to write since 🤦‍♀️ Hope this lives up to the first one 😬 xx

Please do not translate or steal any of my works! Reblogs and likes are welcome and much appreciated if you would like! X

'Click'. It was only a faint noise in the background followed by muffled voices that you could barely make out. You tensed for a moment after being woken from your seemingly deep sleep. After the years you spent with Hydra you'd become used to being hyper aware of surroundings even when asleep - not that you ever got much sleep there - and it was a habit that since living with the avengers had slowly began to get better but was still very much there.

You caught the end of someone speaking, you picked up the word "photo". At this point you were beginning to wake but trying to stay completely still and keep up the image of being totally unaware of the happenings around you to calculate your next move in case you were in some sort of danger, briefly forgetting where you were and who you were with.

You suddenly became aware of a weight wrapped, securely but not tightly, around your waist and a warm, weirdly comforting presence behind you.

Then it all made sense. The voice you had heard was Nat's, the word 'photo' came back to your mind and you realised the sound you had heard was a camera. You were at the compound, with the avengers, you're new family. The thing behind you was in fact Bucky, the heavy mass laying over your waist - his beautiful black and gold vibranium arm. You relaxed as you came to your senses and discovered that you were in fact completely safe remembering the movie night that Bucky had so kindly invited you too, you had really enjoyed it but your thoughts went whirling again. When did you fall asleep?

Wait.

Bucky.

Why was Bucky's arm around you? Was he asleep too?

At this your eyes flew open, wide and slightly panicked. You were even more confused when you found the dark room completely empty. The only indicator that you hadn't dreamt up hearing the voices of your fellow avengers just minutes ago were the blankets, throw pillows and snack remnants lying around the room. You turned your head slightly to see that the tv was off so the movie must have finished, maybe they just went to bed? But then why were you and Bucky still there, cuddled up on the sofa? Oh god what if he's uncomfortable? Did I make us end up like this when I fell

asleep? What if he cant move?

You were spiralling in your own head to much to notice Bucky rouse from sleep behind you. He too had trouble getting proper sleep but he had gotten a lot better with his time with the avengers and the nightmares and sleepless nights seemed to be an increasingly rare occasion for him now. He'd felt you fidgeting and caught on to the fact that you'd tensed up. But what concerned him most was the sound of your breathing that had turned short and rapid. He could almost feel the panic coming off you in waves. He was immediately concerned that he had made you uncomfortable when he realised how you were both positioned. He loosened his arm around you and sat up slightly to get a look at your face to see that you were in fact awake, wide eyes staring ahead of you.

"Doll?" He whispered.

You didnt seem to even notice he had woken up.

"Doll?" He spoke just a little bit louder to try to get your attention without startling you. This time, it worked and you jumped slightly and turned quickly in his loose hold to face him. You pulled away from him slightly trying to create space between the two of you whilst still being in his arms.

"I'm so sorry Bucky, I didn't mean to put you in this position" you mumbled frantically. "I shouldn't have come last night im sorry-" "Hey no, doll look, my arm is wrapped around you" he chuckled slightly trying to keep it light and calm you. When that didn't work and he saw that you still looked guilty and uncomfortable, he continued.

"If anything I'm sorry for making you uncomfortable, you fell asleep during the movie and your neck was in an awkward position, I moved you slightly and I guess when we both fell asleep we ended up like this, its really not a problem but I understand if you don't like it. When I came to the compound I didn't like anyone in my personal space, not even Steve. No ones going to be mad at you for needing some time to adjust."

It was mostly dark in the room but the light from the kitchen illuminated his face enough for you to see the soft smile he gave you, you let out a breath you didn't know you'd been holding as you smiled back. He felt a wave of relief as he felt you relax, the tight tension dropping from your shoulders. "Thanks Bucky, it feels good to have someone who knows how I'm feeling" you said quietly. Bucky was almost shocked seeing as that was probably the most you'd ever talked to anyone here but you didn't catch it as he was almost beaming with joy at the fact that you were starting to let some of your walls down. You couldn't calm down the butterflies in your stomach at the sight of his beautiful smile. When you realised you'd been staring at each other for a little while you hurriedly turn your head trying to process the thoughts running through your mind.

"I'm hungry" he declared noticing the tension. You took that as your queue to stand up and he followed then lead the way to the kitchen.

"You?" He turned to ask you. You'd been slowly building up an appetite since being at the compound and you hadn't eaten much all day so you responded, "yeah, I could eat" still quietly but feeling an edge of confidence, certainly better now that it was just you and Bucky. The rest of the team were amazing but being with all of them at once was a bit overwhelming, however the last few weeks had felt a little lonely despite choosing to stay mostly in your room so it was nice to have the company of just Bucky for a while.

He smiled, glad that you had found a part of your voice, and excited to help you find the rest of it so that you could finally feel like yourself after all those years.

He went over to the cabinets, stocked with nearly everything you could imagine thanks to Tony, although if we're being honest it was more for selfish reasons since Tony was so sick of everyone grumbling that there was never any food. Tony was convinced they were all just picky eaters, "earths mightiest heroes my ass you're all a bunch of princesses" was something he had actually said to them before which they certainly did not appreciate and tony ended up in a choke hold courtesy of Nat.

"What ya feelin?" He asked looking from the cabinets back over to you. You were just sort of standing awkwardly by the kitchen island not sure what to do with yourself. Bucky tried to cover his amused smirk as he watched you be- well completely adorable in his opinion.

"You can sit down doll, I'll make ya something"

"Oh no- it’s ok uh thank you though" you didn't want to cause him any trouble, but you did as he suggested and sat down on one of the stalls.

"It's no problem at all, how'd ya feel about pancakes?"

You froze and stared at him with wide eyes for a moment. "Pan cakes? I thought cakes were made in ovens?" You questioned timidly. You felt kinda stupid despite it being none of your fault as you were taken by hydra when you practically still a baby.

You have a very vague and distant memory of sitting in front of cake, 2 single candles on top and someone, you assumed your dad, smiling in front of you. You even remember being handed a small slice of cake on two occasions at hydra. You were young and never told what the reason behind it was.

Bucky couldn't help but chuckle at the confused expression on your face but he felt bad when he saw your face fall.

" 'm sorry doll, you just look real cute when you're confused" 'you always look cute' he wanted to say but stopped himself.

A faint blush dusted your cheeks. You didn't know what you were starting to feel for bucky, you'd never felt it before you just knew it was different and that it was a good feeling.

"Look" he pulled his phone out of his pocket and typed something on it before turning it around so you could see it. There was a picture of a flat yet fluffy bread looking thing on the screen, there was a golden liquid drizzled over the top. You looked at it with shining eyes. "What's the goo stuff?" You asked him, eyes wide with curiosity. Bucky smiled at you, "thats maple syrup, delicious stuff you gotta try it" you finally looked away from the screen to smile up at him, "Ok".

He stood up, sending you a wink before tucking his phone back in his pocket.

He turned back at began grabbing stuff out of the cabinets. You saw him get eggs, flour and a pan out of the cupboards and laying it all out along with some other equipment he needed.

You watched on with curious eyes but felt bad watching him do all the work. "Is there anything I can do to help?" He was about to tell you it was no problem but looked back to see the hopeful expression on your face and once again had to try and hide the small curve of his lips. "If you wanna help then sure. c'mere" you beamed back at him as you clambered of the stall to come stand by him, and bucky made the decision right then that he would do anything to see you smile like that again.

He broke out of his daze when he saw your slightly clueless look, having no idea how to proceed with the items in front of you.

"Ok, im gonna put the stuff in here and you just gotta stir it together, make sure there's no lumps" he said, jokingly pointing his finger at you as if he was giving you a seriously important task. He handed you the whisk and you happily took it waiting for your orders to start mixing. He dumped some flour in the bowl, not bothering to measure since he made them all the time, and then cracked the egg into the bowl. "Mix that while I get the milk."

You did as he said and did your best to make the gooey mess into a smooth mixture as he poured out some milk. You stopped mixing to let him pour the milk in but clearly bucky was a bit too excited for the pancakes as he carelessly dumped the milk in the bowl letting it splash all over the place and getting you right in the face. Your jaw dropped open and bucky tried his absolute best not to laugh. "Oops - sorry doll" he said but you knew he wasn't. You turned to him with furrowed brows, jaw still hanging open and it was at that point that he lost it. He burst out laughing and you tried to look annoyed but ended up laughing with him.

With no idea it where it came from, a wave of confidence came over you and you grabbed a small handful of flour from the bag and through it at him.

He froze when he inhaled a mouthful of the disgusting stuff coughing for a second looking at you in complete shock. You panicked then thinking you'd over stepped but he just grabbed another egg and looked at you. "Oh its on" if you hadn't known he was playing around you would've been slightly scared but you barely had time to react before he smashed the egg on top of your head.

You squealed in horror as you felt in running down your face and scrunched yourself up as if a bucket of ice water had just been dumped down your back. Bucky was howling with laughter, pancakes long forgotten but he totally missed you grabbing a handful of the mixture before you smeared it right over his face. You were surprised at your own actions but couldn't help the uncontrollable giggles as you looked at bucky covered in pancake batter, assuming you looked pretty much the same.

The food fight continued until you'd literally run out of things to dump on each other. The kitchen was a complete mess, you hadn't got any further with making the pancakes and you and Bucky were covered head to toe in a sticky mess but neither of you could care less about any of that while you both sat on the floor howling with laughter and rolling around in the mess you'd created. You hadn't felt this happy literally since you could remember and Bucky felt almost the same way. It wasn't just the chaos you'd created that was making him happy but also the look of pure carefree joy on your face that made him absolutely elated. The laughter eventually died down and you were left staring at each other again but this time it wasn't awkward.

You hadn't realised how close the two of you had gotten until just then, on the floor faces mere inches away from each other. This time you didn't turn away. You couldn't. His eyes were literally mesmerising, the beautiful sea of blue looked right back at you.

Bucky was so incredibly proud of you and so so grateful for you to be willing to open up to him. In just one night you'd gone from barely talking to having a full on food fight. Granted it was just you and him, you still had a long way to go in regards to the rest of the team and eventually the rest of the world but right now you were doing amazingly despite everything you'd gone through. He felt so lucky to be the one that got to see the first glimpses of your incredible, blooming personality.

"We never did get any food" he whispered with a slight chuckle.

Your smile widened and you shook your head.

"How about bagels, I don't think pancakes are are an option right now" he questioned and you laughed. Bagels you did know.

"Yeah bagels sound good"

He got up, and, ever the gentleman, offered you his arm to guide you to your feet and not slip in the mess around you.

You looked around at said mess and felt a pang of guilt. "I'll clean up while you get the bagels" you bent down to start picking up eggshells. " don't be silly doll your not cleaning this up on your own.... Ya know what? it's kinda late what d'ya say we deal with this in the morning?" He said with a cheeky smirk.

"Wont they be mad?"

"Meh, they'll get over it. And if they don't I'll take full blame." He saw you about to protest, "uh uh uh no objections, I started it, plus that way most of them will be all over you with the "I'm sorry you had to deal with him" stuff so it'll just make them like you more."

You laughed but stopped to ask him, "you think they like me? I haven't been much fun"

"Of course they like you doll, they just don't know you that well yet, and they completely understand that you might not be ready to open up, they've all had their shit. I know they seem like the worlds biggest jerks but they're actually big softies, they'll get to know you and come to like you as much as I do" he sent you a big goofy grin and you couldn't help but blush at his words - again.

You still felt slightly guilty about the mess but didn't want to protest.

Bucky brought over two plain buttered bagels, you sat at the counter together to eat them.

"How d'ya like living here so far? You don't have to answer anything, I just remember finding it a bit over whelming, no ones being to much of an ass to you right? I know they're annoying but I'll l beat em up if they're pissing you off" you both chuckled at that. He joked about them but you could tell it was only that - joking. Bucky had actually come to love the team, as annoying as they can be.

"I really like it. I mean anything is an upgrade from hydra but this is definitely the best of the best. I don't know them very well yet, but im extremely grateful for the team, i cant imagine having to welcome someone in to a close family type situation but they've all been amazing. Especially you, thank you Bucky." You looked at him trying to convey your immense appreciation in your eyes. You'd started to feel your own personality coming through and it was thanks to him.

"Your extremely welcome doll, I just wanted you to know there was someone there for you. And about the team - don't worry at all, this family is ever expanding - pretty much anyone is welcome here. 'The Avengers' isn't just our job title its our family name" he chuckled. Your heart melted at that. You knew about bucky's past and you would argue that he'd suffered far worse than you, and yet here he was talking about his new found family with a bright smile on his face. It gave you so much hope and courage for how you could become, it was as if a weight had been lifted off your shoulders, discovering that you could finally have your own life, with a family and friends. It made you think about everything you had finally been rewarded rather than everything hydra had taken from you.

"Your gonna be just fine doll, promise and I'm here for you whenever you need me. Please don't take that lightly. Anytime you feel that you need me for anything you call for me ok?" Your eyes glazed over and you felt another surge of unexpected confidence. You did what only felt right in that moment and threw your arms around his neck in a warm hug. He was surprised but his arms quickly came to wrap around your waist. You sat in the tight, warm embrace for a while with a feeling you couldn't describe. For so long touch had meant pain, and the same went for Bucky, but this was nothing but warm, comforting and caring.

Eventually and slightly reluctantly you pulled away from each other. "Thank you so much Bucky, for everything" he just smiled and brought his arm up to swipe a patch of flour off your forehead, gently with his thumb. His fingers lingered on your face longer than necessary and he brought his hand down to your cheek with featherlight touches. Your cheeks heated at the intimate gesture and you made no move to pull away and ruin this moment. You leaned into his touch ever so slightly which gave bucky the sign that you were okay. He brought his other hand up to brush a piece of hair behind your ear then cupped your face in his large calloused hands. You closed your eyes at the sensation. He leaned towards you, and you did the same, following his lead. Barely two inches separated you now. "You okay with this doll?" He whispered carefully, like he was afraid this moment could blow away at any second.

"Yes Bucky" you replied with the same volume. Your eyes were still closed but you could feel his warm breath against your skin.

He finally closed the gap, brushing his lips over yours so gently they almost didn't meet, giving you the chance to pull away or change your mind. When neither of those things happened Bucky took the chance to capture your lips in his own. Sucking so gently on your upper lip and pulling the sweetest sound from your throat. Letting go and pecking your lips once more before pulling away just enough to look at you.

Your eyes were still closed and your mouth was parted in pure bliss. Bucky, still cradling your face in his palms, admired your blissed out expression with an amused smirk on his lips. When you finally opened your eyes and saw him staring back at you, your blush deepened under his gaze. Bucky placed a sweet kiss on your cheek. "Your so beautiful" he murmured against your skin. Your face turned redder still (if that was even possible) at his words and his smile widened. He would take every chance he could to make you blush like that. It was the purest most adorable sight he'd ever seen.

You stared at each other for a little while longer before your eyes were forced closed in a yawn and you leaned forward to lay on his chest. Bucky chuckled. "Lets get you to bed doll"

"I think I need to shower first" you murmured tiredly. "Yeah.." he looked at the flour and egg that was now dried up all over the both of you"you might be right" you both chuckled.

You let out another yawn a bucky looked at you with a fond smile. "C'mon doll"

You'd almost fallen asleep on hist chest at this point. "You want me to carry you sweetheart" you let out a sound that sort of resembled a laugh in your sleepy state because you thought he was joking, but quickly realised you were mistaken as he stood up, taking you with him and wrapping your legs around his waist. You didn't protest and simply relaxed against him once more, your face buried in the crook of his neck, and let him carry you to your room. His room was on the way to yours from the kitchen and by the time he'd made it there you'd fallen dead asleep in his arms. He decided there was no way you would have the energy for a shower right now so he took you into his room and gently laid you in his bed deciding to worry about the mess and his sheets in the morning. He went to his bathroom, took off his shirt that was completely destroyed with pancake batter and then grabbed a towel, running it under warm water and going back to you.

He gently wiped your face clean and managed to get some of the mess out of your hair. He stood up fully intending on just sleeping on his couch tonight he felt you grab his arm. He looked back down at you and saw that your eyes will still closed and you were definitely still half asleep.

"Don't go" you mumbled, bucky could barely make out your words in your sleepy state and he wanted to be sure before he just assumed.

"You want me to stay here doll?" He whispered in the dark.

"Humamph mmm cuddles" Bucky chuckled at the unintelligible sounds you'd tried to communicate, but he did pick up on one word.

"You want cuddles?" He chuckled.

"Mmhm" was the only response he got.

He climbed into the bed next to you and hesitantly wrapped his arm around your waist still cautious of making sure you were comfortable, but as soon as he'd stopped moving you'd turned over to bury your face in his bare chest. He looked down at your sleeping form unable to wipe the giddy smile off his face when he saw how relaxed and absolutely angelic you looked. It wasn't long before he joined you in a deep, peaceful sleep.

*****

The next morning you and Bucky woke, much like you had the previous night, cuddled together, only this time there was no awkwardness or panic, just soft smiles and a gentle kiss pressed to your forehead.

Your peaceful bubble was pretty much destroyed as the door burst open to the sight of a very pissed of Sam, other grumpy avengers appearing behind him. You froze slightly panicked at the sudden appearance of everyone but Bucky squeezed you gently in his arms effectively erasing your panic. You watched as each of the avengers, the earths 'mightiest heroes' all melted to putty at the sight at the two of you curled up.

There was a chorus off 'awwss' and cooes from the team, other than Natasha who looked at you with a smirk. "This is adorable but we know you made that mess in the kitchen and you're going to clean it up, she winked before shutting the door. You heard her shooing the others way and turned to look at Bucky with a blush covering your face and a timid smile. He just chuckled and placed a kiss to your nose.

*****

Later that day, you were in the kitchen with some of the team, bucky obviously standing by your side, and Sam was proudly displaying the picture from the night before with you two curled up on the couch. You'd blushed at the image and bucky had beamed brightly pulling you into his side and placing a kiss on your cheek. You thought back to when you had heard the 'click' of a camera. So thats what that was, you concluded, slightly amused at the teams reactions to you and Bucky. "I thought it was a great picture opportunity, pretty proud of it actually" Steve beamed, failing to mention how he had fumbled with phone and ended up dropping it in a bowl of popcorn. 'Punk' Bucky thought seemingly annoyed but with a fond smile on his face as he looked at the photo then back to you.

Yeah. You'd be just fine.

@orihimi-19 @natswife3000 (couldn’t tag? :( )

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wildflowertips · 3 years

Note

Hi! I was curious if you had anymore Kuroko fic recommendations? Thank you! 🥺💗

hey! 🥺 i do have more kuroko fanfic recs. i didnt know what type of kuroko ship you wanted, so here are a few from some kuroko ships <3:

Kagakuro Recommendations

the flower that blooms in adversity by aotetsu

When Kagami falls for Kuroko Tetsuya, a famous prostitute from the red light district, he manages to find a whole lot of trouble and a person worth it all.

this fic deserves more love and attention. kagami love for kuroko absolutely made me sob

Brothers in Woo by buttwade

in which Himuro jokingly offers to help Kagami win Kuroko over and the joke's on him

kagami is drunk & himuro cracks jokes. this fic is funny. jealous!kuroko

Beastly call by TCon

"You mean," Kuroko started. "You'd be my Heat Partner?" He didn't expect Kagami to explode into a myriad of different shades of red more impressive than his own hair. "Y — yeah tha's what I'm sayin'!" for some reasons he lapsed into english with an odd accent. KagaKuro Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics & Sex Pistols AU - Fusion

Lots of smut in the beginning. there’s crime, suspense, and i read this fic like 5 times.

Stamina Training by tnsxbunny

As the weakest member in the team, Kuroko stays back after basketball practice to train on his stamina. Kagami watches from afar and decides to show Kuroko what real stamina training is.

SMUT. SUCH GOOD SMUT. thank u

The advantage of being Kuroko by heartfilledteddybear

mayuzumi hits on Kuroko & Kagami gets jealous 🥵

Akakuro Recommendations

Forget me not flowers in our hair by miniaturepsycho

When Kagami is captured by a beast Kuroko doesn't think twice and bargains to take the red head's position instead but it seems that there is more to this castle than meets the eye, and what has it have to do with forget me not's?? Basically a beauty and the beast AU that I decided to do after seeing the live action (which I totally did not cry at, not at all!!) COMPLETE

Contains Aokaga. Akashi as beast & kuroko as belle. So good 🥺

All I ask by TsuruKuni

"It's none of your business." "Tell me, Aomine. How can it be none of my business when you're throwing away the only person I've ever wanted?"

THIS FIC MADE ME SOB AT 3 AM. I highly recommend listening to ‘All I ask’ by Adele. I promise you will cry. Aokuro & Akakuro.

Bridezilla by DancingMarshmallows

Weddings are stressful... try helping people plan them. With two months to get everything together, a bridezilla and her bitch of a maid of honor, and finding love at the worst time, Kuroko would be lucky if he makes it out alive.

CEO!Akashi & WEDDING PLANNER!kuroko. you will not regret reading this one.

That Ridiculously Long Dance by Harmonia_Silverberg

Aomine, Kise, and Kagami never learn, do they? But apparently their "joke" works in Akashi and Kuroko's favor this time.

literally one of my all time favorite akakuro fanfic

What Would Chihiro Do by anewtinystory

Akashi is dating Kuroko, whose two brothers are very protective of him.[Based on a Tumblr anon's prompt: Nijimura and Mayuzumi are Kuroko's brothers; while Nijimura approves of Akashi, Mayuzumi feels the opposite]

slight smut. protective bros. i love it sm.

Aokuro Recommendations

Traded Mistakes by Acetate, Chrystie, exuberant_imperfection, kate882, luckypen

For the prompt: Aomine having an accident and losing his memory so all he remembers is being best friends with Tetsu and he doesn’t understand how that could stop.

Angst, oh the angst 😫😭.

Third time’s a charm (or maybe fourth) by LajtHane

Aomine really didn't mean to crash into him at Quidditch practice.

HOGWARTS AU. if that doesn’t temp you, idk what will. My fav Aokuro fic.

Maybe a touch of your hand by skinandbones

[Written for AoKuroWeek 2015]: Aomine moves into a new apartment and befriends a ghost boy.

no bc this fic made me cry too. pls read it 🎶ifwehad5moreminutes🎶

The Boyfriend Jersey by exuberant_imperfection, kate882

Kuroko, in a half-asleep mistake, ends up wearing Aomine's jersey to school.

THIS FIC IS CUTE SUCH DORKS

Hey, Come Here Often? by imabignerd

In which Momoi holds his magazines hostage, Aomine hates everything and everyone, and Kuroko is politely bewildered.

Aomine crushes on the lifeguard!Kuroko & Momoi is a little shit about it 😌🤍

Midokuro Recommendations

It’s Always your Fault! by warsandwich

Kuroko and Midorima are secretly dating, but Takao finds out their secret. De-anon from the anon meme.

Short, sweet, & funny 😌.

Partnership by Fayah

Their partnership starts in English class, but like everything else in their lives, turns into a matter of basketball.

Midorima really cares for Kuroko 🥺

Midokuro Ficlet by pandacchii

based off of imagineyourotp blog post: "Imagine your otp confessing while they were half asleep" Pairing: Midorima/Kuroko

short story but it’s really cute ☺️

An Unexpected Alignment by cinnaelle

Midorima Shintarou does not expect such a reoccurring encounter. But the wheels of fate are turning and Akashi moves his shogi piece.

well-written i love it sm. deserves more praise

The Way You Come Undone by oshare_banchou

"Midorima Shintarou is completely silent during sex. And Kuroko, who is both fascinated and frustrated by this discovery, wonders just how much it would take to make him come undone." - Kuroko/Midorima, in that order

do i need to say more? 😫

Kikuro Recommendations

Careless Whisper by DarkWoods

When Kuroko is dared to come up with some dirty talk, no one expects him to be good at it. Certainly not Kise.

my favorite kikuro fanfic. flustered!kise & tease!kuroko

如果的事 (If) by stormterror

People fall in love in many different manners. Love feels like many different things to many people, but Kise Ryouta thinks there's nothing that quite beats the feeling of being in love with Kuroko Tetsuya. [kise/kuroko]

SO GOOD I CRIED I SMILED SO HARD. pls kikuro deserves the world

Wires, Connecting by Bakagami

It's like being blind but not, like touching air, grasping at straws, voices dissipating and reverberating.

This story is locked so you need to login into ao3 to read it. PHONE SEX & DIRTY TALK 🥵

He Promised by imabignerd

Kise promised he'd smile for Kuroko the whole way through, all the way to the end.

Zombie apocalypse AU. Death. sobbing violently.

It’s a Small World by SilentSilhouette

Kise tries to find his soulmate through social media. Soulmate AU where a picture of your soulmate is tweeted to you on your sixteenth birthday.

This one made me crackle & laugh😂😂

Murakuro Recommendations

No Such Thing as Too Much Vanilla by plumtrees

Kuroko and Murasakibara have baking days. What do you mean it isn't canon?

baking!boyfriends & fluff 😌😉

Vanilla Cream by yoimrei

Murasakibara eats Kurokos ass after something Ahomine says which sparks his jealousy.

here me out first, the ass eating in this is *chef’s kiss* 🤌🏽🤌🏽

Philia by DarkWoods

That time Murasakibara and Kuroko started kinda-sorta fake dating, and kinda-sorta never bothered to break up.

Still going & i love this writer sm. i read all their stories 😙✌🏽

Lavender Secrets by SailorHikarinoMu

Kuroko was the one to bring out his true love for basketball, which had been hidden from prying eyes since the beginning. It was one of those things he was unsure whether he should feel grateful for, but all the same, it did mean something. What this 'something' was, exactly? Murasakibara did not know. Not yet.

FLUFF AAA FLUFF

Rainy by overdose

Kuroko listened to the rain pouring, and more importantly, Murasakibara's steady breathing.

smut. couch sex. size difference. 🥴

BONUS

Hanamiya Makoto/Kuroko Tetsuya

Scotomas by Darkenedcrystal

After the game against Jabberwock, Kagami goes overseas and Kuroko finds himself without a light. A slightly angsty, rather light-hearted story about what happens to Kuroko after Kagami leaves. Features teens finding their way around life, Seirin without a light, the Generation of Miracles being a family, the teens finding love and appreciating the heartbreaks. Kuroko tries to find his own style without a light, and stumbles into the darkness that is Hanamiya Makoto instead. Extra chapter added!

love this fic so much. downside: akashi is kinda a dick

Of Unlikely Friendships, Sneaky Bets, Shogi and Sake by itsthechocopuff

Imayoshi had introduced his two favourite kouhai to each other as an experiment. He did not predict they'd get along so well, both being shadows, but they did, and they worked, oddly enough. Hanamiya brought out the worst in Kuroko, while Kuroko brought out the the best in the other; and they both caused heartattacks to unsuspecting teammates who could not believe their darling shadow was not as innocent as he seemed.

you wont regret reading this one omg

Haizaki Shougo/Kuroko Tetsuya

A Taste That Lingers by therealmoyashi

I couldn't say anything, and that was alright because he didn't want an answer. I'll never forget the way that tasted. Yeah, I thought, he ruined me.

i cried reading this for the first time. out of character kuroko

By the Tomatoes by Wayfarer_Rye

It starts with a blue-grey t-shirt that says "Nothing but Net".

Haizaki wants to try again.

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simisaint · 2 years

Note

I apologise and I hope you'll forgive me for using your simblr askbox for this but i just read your rants on your writing blog and I had to drop by. You can ignore this ask if it oversteps boundaries. I hope people can see n understand that writing fics is not your source of income and respect the fact that your office job is what gets your bills paid. I dont think they've got any right to say "leave the company" type-thing to you when they dont know the whole story, it's just unecessary advice-

I really hope people, instead of screaming at you to update SY with their pitchforks in the air, wait patiently for the update (WHENEVER u decide to do so) and at least empathise with your situation as working people/corporate slaves themselves. Im sure most of us are the same so I dont understand why some have the nerve to act entitled on the internet? I mean i get it that the story might be something they were looking forward to but god, its not just them who have lives separate of tumblr. (2)

I'm now ranting, I'm sorry but seeing you apologise for not updating SY when you already said you've put the series on hiatus till 19th May didnt sit well with me. I didnt think you needed to apologise when you've said time and time again that your promotion has left you with very little free time on your hands. Doesn't that clearly mean that you wont be able to update your fics as quick and frequent as SN got updated cause you literally don't have free time? Shouldn't people respect that? (3)

And shouldn't they respect the fact that free time doesn't always mean that you're gonna spend it all on writing SY?? Like, fuck i'm so fucking mad rn. I'm so sorry that you have to deal with entitled readers too who think that all your free time should be devoted to writing fics only. You genuinely sound so fucking stressed, frustrated and thoroughly overworked in your posts, Saint and I hope people fucking open their eyes to see it instead of being Seras and seeing only their woes. (4)

I do hope and pray you get your break and rest first cause i know you've got your personal reasons for putting yourself through this whole overworking ordeal and i'm no one to tell you what to do or not. I can just hope for your good mental and physical health and for your boss to not ask you to cover full shifts last minute when you've already worked full time for yours the entire week. Again, before I forget, PLEASE, update SY at YOUR pace. (5)

I've been locked in ever since u posted SN1 so im not leavin til' I get SY15 (OH WAIT, ill have to get off the roller coaster if u ever discontinue it, which is totally fine too! pls dont take that as me pushing u to finish sy T-T im sorry) Take your time with it. You're already risking your health over your job rn and u dont need to do that with writing- something that's your escape. ANYWAY, ive talked bs for way too long and i apologise if this all isn't coherent and for repetitive ask-ings. 6

it’s okkk and thank u, i appreciate u sm :’( i’m sorry you had to see me freaking out earlier. i’m truly just fed up and exhausted with my life outside of this web space. i only apologized for not being able to post frequent updates bc i want readers to understand that i’m not abandoning sy by choice. in fact, i get very veryyy sad that i can’t find the time to write it. i feel bad that i can’t even have proper conversations with my moots here and they prob think i’m ignoring them 😭 i also just came across this post where two of my readers are having an exchange abt how sy has slow updates and it’s making them lose interest and i was kinda hurt but i understand tbh sddjfjsjs but YOU, ILY AND I HOPE YOU’RE HAVING A WONDERFUL DAY. tysm for dropping by and for understanding my situation (ik i sound dramatic but aaaaaaa)

i’ll open anon on main so u can reach out there too <33

#[✉️] anon.

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tender-rosiey · 4 years

Note

ayo i’m new to your blog, i was browsing the haikyuu tag and yours popped up, so can i get number ten with Tanaka? thank you :)

“I’ve loved you all my life.”

❥— Tanaka Ryuunosuke (HQ)

❥— From the 200+ event prompt list

ᴀ/ɴ: I love you like seriously, you have no idea how long have I been waiting for a haikyuu request 🥺 and I A D O R E Tanaka so this is just ✨ also there is slight angst in the beginning :,) then crack at the end because...this is me we are talking about

It hurt. It really hurt how he was always fawning over another woman right before your eyes.

Sure she had undeniable beauty and intelligence, sure she was a total badass and had a strong presence.

But were you really that small and invisible to him and compared to her?

“Kiyoko-San you look amazing today!”

“Ahhh! I love when she ignores me!”

“She is so beautiful!”

“Anyone in five metered of kiyoko-san should be thankful!”

Kiyoko this kiyoko that, but what about you?

Did she stick with him through his trouble? Did she stick with him through his happy and sad times? Was she there when he needed a pillar to lean on?

Was she there when he needed a shoulder to cry on? Was she the one that tried and make him laugh whenever he was sad? Did she always make time for him so he can be happy and get the attention he deserves?

It was all you, you, you, you. Yet all he saw was her.

Perhaps if you stopped talking to him, he would know your worth. However a part of you was afraid it won’t even bother him. You prayed he would at least notice.

So you started your plan and it consisted of 8 days.

Tanaka was coming to greet per usual only to get a glance from you as you walked away paying no mind that he was even in front of you. Did he do something wrong? Oh no did you see his exam scores again?

But he noticed this wasn’t the normal ‘I will ignore you because you failed dumbass’ but you looked really troubled. Maybe something put you in a foul mode, and as your dearest friend he would get you anything to make you happy again.

After practice he rushed to you “Y/N I GOT SNACKS SO YOU CAN cheer up...?” You didn’t even look his way this time, just what were you talking with that guy that made you forget about Tanaka?

He was already getting irritated, well too bad. He was still in day 1 of the torture you were planning to make him go through. Maybe finally he would find the guts to confess to you rather than hiding his feelings behind his “infatuation” with kiyoko.

Day 2 and still there are no signs of you interacting with him anytime soon. Tanaka was already losing it and ranting to Nishinoya about it; “WHY DOESNT SHE WANNA TALK TO ME DAMN IT!”

“Ryuu I think you should stop being a pussy and confess to Y/N already.” Wow, very well said noya. “YOU THINK I DIDNT TRY?!” the spiker retorted, as much as he was oblivious to your feelings, you were just as much.

He would buy make you stuff like chocolate and your favorite stuff everyday and you still think it’s a ‘friendly’ approach? You were making him lose his mind and you don’t even know that!

Today was the last straw for him, he really couldn’t take that you didn’t even acknowledge his presence anymore. It’s just day 3 not even half way through.

He decided he will confess today, let’s see how will you ignore him after that.

In the lunch break, he stormed into your classroom then grabbed you by the hand and dragged you outside to the back of the school.

“Listen up Y/N, I have no idea why are you ignoring me but honestly it’s bothering me, a lot. So can you do me favor and tell me WHAT IN THE WORLD DID I DO?!” and there goes trying to maintain his ‘manly’ state.

“Are you seriously asking me, why am I ignoring you? Ryuu if you saw the person you love fawn over someone else right before your eyes what the hell will you do?!”

He furrowed his eyebrows and held your hand. “What are you doing, Ryuu?!” He looked in the eyes and said sternly “I’ve loved you all my life, wasn’t it obvious?”

A blush crept onto your face as you smacked him lightly “OF COURSE IT WAS NOT; HOW COULD IT HAVE BEEN WHEN ALL YOU TALK ABOUT IS KIYOKO?!”

“What a cute gremlin.” He cheekily stated as he ruffled your hair, sure he didn’t want to confess to you like this but guess what?

At least he can hug you whenever he wants to and will act protective of you freely, boyfriend privilege I guess.

“Also Ryuu you didn’t even last half the time I was planning to ignore you for.”

“How long was your plan supposed to be it?”

“...8 days.”

“WERE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME?”

do not copy or plagiarize or you will be reported

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artreider · 3 years

Text

Let's try to get this final live blog on my station 19 rewatch done. I'm currently laid up on my couch in mild pain but unable to do anything else.

I don't really like flashback episodes but i want one for the premiere since we are jumping so far ahead. I hate that this episode starts with a fight. But damn knowing what the fight is over, i love how loyal andy is to maya in this episode. Something ive wanted for her and the team. Qnd also jaina looks gorgeous.

The fire scene yay another fire on the fire show lmao. Feel like we missed some last year which im sure was covid related.

The marina scene ugh chefs kiss. I love how happy and giddy they are. I do wish we couldve gotten to see some of their month apart communication and their quarantining apart those two weeks when carina got back. I wrote a little something related to that and i may share before the premiere of season 5.

The quiet moment between carina saying her morning was better than those 6 weeks and then asking about mayas folks was a beautiful and real moment and i love it. So brief it could be overlooked but great choice for team.

The little bit of danielle and stefania that was them and adlibbed in this episode was so great also.

I love that rhey addressed how everyone was able to attend maskless and how safe the wedding was keeping the real world element in. Also vic love you and your chicken dance comment makes me sad that we didnt get it.

Vics parents trying to talk to her about theo is so cute.

Poor lawyer she'd be good for dean.

I understand some people dont come out until late in life but that is hard to hear that you havent loved the person youve been with for decades like you do this new person. That would hurt me so much to hear, like i couldve been with someone who is my great love if youd told me sooner. I love/hate this storyline for travis family.

Ugh if this fire had gone on any longer those poor kids and elderly couple.

Haha andy you should wait until someone answers the door for you when visiting almost newlyweds or people who've been seperated for 6 weeks lmao.

Also maya's excuse and none wet (shower) sex hair i love it.

Ugh sullivan trying to defend himself makes me so upset.

Bailey giving ben hell about second and third opinions is funny, like i figure shed be all for it.

Inara and marcus leaving jack is sad. I hope we still get to see marsha in season 5. Also if they do pair jack and jo itd be a bit ironic. I mean jo too had an abusive ex like inara.

Also jack and his marsha have similar eyes, itd be something if it came out she really was his mom.

I dont understand how maya hadnt settled on what to wear she's queen of the clipboard lmao. Just goes to show how some things throw us off course. Also i totally get her saying her outfit choice will define her forever. I judge my look in my wedding photos all the time and feel like other people do as well.

Why do i feel like this exchange between maya and carina was mostly adlibbed? It just feels so fun.

This poor family and ugh i couldnt imagine having to make the tough calls of firefighters/fire captains.

Love that all the fire crew helped put the wedding on.

I understand travis emotion here.

How'd this conversation about maya's folks get started with andy???

I love that maya and andy's friendship is restored. Also famous last words maya, dont speak the bad juju into existence.

Dean you shouldve spoken up there.

Why the chief there? I live in a city and the chief aint showing up for a house call that needs a few units. At least not until fire is out of they for some reason cant get it out.

Lmao maya freaking out about wearing the same thing as carina. Andy therapizing maya is funny.

That poor boy.

The dad comments to ben are beautiful. Also love that so many of the team know how dean feels about vic.

So why is travis getting dressed separately than the rest of his team. I mean i know its because he doesnt know about Dean's feelings and pushes vic to give theo a chance as well as allow theo and travis to talk but come on. He wouldnt get ready separately.

Also what was the point of theo going to that room if not to get ready. Sorry just annoying.

I wish carina had had someone mention andrew to her. Whether ben, bailey, maya or even any of the fire team who worked on the call with him during the crossover awhile back. Her grief during this day of happiness should've been acknowledged, even with just a remembrance table for him amd other family she lost to covid.

I do love this beautiful moment with vic though saying this isnt all just for maya.

Oh my how i love the maya confronting her father. She is the brave i want to be. Also what she says to her mom, yes chefs kiss. However when her mom shows up at the wedding, really the woman couldnt grab a nice shirt or dress to wear on her way out or on her way to the wedding.

I also love the look of pride on maya's moms face both at the house and the wedding.

Im sad we probably wont get any moments of her living with marina due to the time jump.

Ugh the choice that cost maya her promotion but ahouldnt have.

Also with all maya's options for clothes, couldnt they had dressed her mama in something borrowed from maya. Lol im sorry it bothers me so.

Vic's song for the intro is beautiful. Barrett has a beautiful voice.

Maya is so happy her mom is there and i love it. Also in my head at least one person videoing is doing it for the greys family who couldnt make it to the wedding for carina.

I also love maya singing along with vic to carina.

Queen of the clipboard forgetting to write her vows is special and funny. I love carina talking her down from a panic attack. Also her simple vow is beautiful and how carina who probably did write her vows saying we're good instead of reading them after seeing maya's mom in attendance and the look shared is everything.

I truly believe that was the moment she 100% knew maya had changed from end of season 3, was definitely all the way in. She knew what it meant for maya's mom to be there.

Love the dance montage and improved marina kiss.

Another healing theo and travis talk.

Sullivan just cant let it go and ugh trying to justify it. I just cant, still not over it. Even if he isnt captain in season 5 it still isnt right.

Sullivan you cant say you have the teams back then saying you can control them and throwing maya under the bus. Those are contradictory.

This jack and andy conversation is interesting.

This marina conversation is funny but sad when you know the end of the episode.

Its so funny that so few people know about Miller's feelings at this point.

It'll be interesting to see the travis, vic and theo in season 5.

Ben and bailey are so cute.

Wish we couldve had conversations at the wedding with maya and her mom or carina and maya's mom or the 3 of them.

Inara is so wise. I hate this for all 4 of them.

Gotta love the ole grab em and pull em back to kiss them and let them know how you really feel tremmett moment.

Too late dean, they tried to tell you.

I love marina dancing in the background ugh sullivan and the surrera rehashing.

Time for the horrible news ugh.

Everyone just looking at marina and knowing is horrible.

Great season, great episode and im looking forward to whats next.

Thank you to everyone thats been following my rewatch blogging, and for all the kind comments. I appreciate it so much, made the summer so fun.

#station 19 #marina #maya bishop #carina deluca #maya and carina #maya x carina #andy herrera #robert sullivan #dean miller #ben warren #jack gibson #inara #victoria hughes #travis montgomery #maya and carina station 19 #carina x maya #miranda bailey #theo ruiz #emmett dixon

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