#i tried to watch her videos and its all just nonsense

[notefromunderground]

.

[flower-boi16]

I think what's actually alarming about Helluva Boss and Vivziepop is that the shower suffers from heavy creator-fan enmeshment, and the writers/Vivziepop don't see themselves as the problem for it. It's like they see themselves as the victims, too, while encouraging their fandom's toxic mindset and behaviors.

The writers/Vivziepop are not only too entangled with their fans, but they're THINKING like fan artists/fanfic writers instead of actually making a show. There's a difference between writers of a show and fanfic writing. When you take up the mantel to create a show you have to carry yourself in a way and write your show with a point otherwise you end up with shows like Helluva Boss/Hazbin Hotel, Miraculous Lady Bug, SVFOE, SPOP, and other shows that fall into that category. Some of them focus more on the shipping than the point of their show to begin with.

What makes a good show is having that distinction or maintaining that professionalism. Creators of shows should NEVER let themselves sink into the cesspool of their Fandoms because they should be focused on their story/message instead of all this shipping/woobing bullshit.

TLDR: Helluva Boss never had potential with VivziePop holding the reigns to begin with. It's too disorganized and unfocused, and with the Fan Enmeshment, it was never going to grow or expand from its fanfic-y feeling. If the creator of the show never grew up, we should never expect the show to grow, too.

Though it is a shame since it could have been charming, had someone more professional taken the show.

Viv definitely was never cut out to handle a big project like this. I’ve said this many times before, but ya, Viv writes like a fanfic writer; everything with how messy the structuring of how her shows is and how poorly they are planned makes me think this.

It reminds me of when I tried to make my first fanfic and just went in without a plan with how to structure it which led to me just abandoning it early on. Viv writes like that.

She didn't listen to criticism of her Zoophobia comic and she still isn’t listing here. She shifted the focus of HB away from the premise to shipping nonsense and now we have this weird mess of a show that doesn’t even know what it wants to be anymore.

Season 2 seems to prioritize relationship drama over the actual premise which caused the show’s downfall. Hazbin feels a bit less fan-ficy but it’s still very messy.

Viv just crams too much shit into too little time which results in the pacing being awful. She paces her shows like a fan fic writer. It feels like she only came In with a small understanding of how show running works and jumped right into the industry because she was excited to show off her gizzalion OCs she had since high school.

Everything about HH/HB feels amateur. I really think that before you get into storytelling you need to actually study how to create good stories, like there are YouTube videos out there you could watch for free that give a run down of what is good or bad writing.

You don’t need to spend 20+ in school to be a good writer but you need to have a basic understanding of how to even write your ideas before you start making stories…which Viv clearly does not.

HB Season 2 in general doesn’t feel like a natural continuation of the first season. It feels like a fan-fic written by a fan after season 1 ended posted on wattpad that the show runners decided to animate and voice into a full season.

Viv should have learned how to run a show before jumping into something as ambitious as this, but she didn’t, and look at what we got.

[cablecar-s]

to love and self loathe

part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4 part 5

Insert Clown Music Take Two

Its been a few weeks already since news and sightings of Spider-Woman being in Gotham had come out. People were theorizing as to why she was in Gotham. Some badmouthing her for leaving New Yorkers to fend for themselves, while others were saying how it was good that she was gone, and she was now Gotham's problem.

The talked-about-vigilante was currently pacing around her apartment, practically pulling her hair out at the fact everyone now knows that she's back, but not in New York.

She should have known that the press would be there at the party. It was Bruce Wayne's party for that matter! Gotham's infamous billionaire playboy! What was she thinking!?

Obviously she wasn't!

And as if to make matters even worse, last night, because of how tired she was, she ended up transferring photos of herself as Spider-Woman into the USB instead of photos of Gotham's vigilantes. She may as well yell at the top of her lungs at Wayne Tower that she was Spider-Woman.

She let out an exasperated groan and flopped down onto her couch. Just thinking about it made her want to jump in front of the subways of Gotham.

"I want you to take pictures of Spider-Woman."

The photographer stumbled a bit when making her way to her boss's desk.

"Pardon?" She blinked incredulously, thinking she had heard wrong.

"With Gotham's vigilantes to be more precise."

The vigilante in question watched as the other woman turned the screen towards her employee as she watched with wide eyes, a shaky video of her, Red Hood, and Nightwing fighting against Black Mask's men.

She felt her mouth become dry and the way her heart practically dropped down to her feet. 

Of course there were reporters at the party.

"Ma'am, I don't think it's necessary to try and capture pictures of Spider-Woman." The photographer quickly tried to dissuade. "I mean, for all we know, she might have already left!" 

"Nonsense." The older woman waved her employee's unnoticed pleas away. Turning her computer back towards her, the Spider could see a newfound glint in her boss' eyes. 

"It's obvious she's here for a reason." Looking away from her screen, she stared at the Spider. "You've taken plenty of pictures of her back in New York, I'm sure this'll be easy work for you. Maybe you can even get Spider-Woman to do an interview with you."

"With all due respect—"

The office phone on the woman's desk began to ring, cutting the vigilante off. She watched the woman quickly pick it up, beginning to converse with the person on the other side.

All the while, the vigilante continued to stand there, her mind running thousands of miles a minute, trying to figure out how she can get herself out of this situation. It's not until the yell of her name brought her out of her slight state of panic.

Looking up, she saw her boss, face annoyed, office phone still in hand and pressed against her ear. Her hand was held out, her face showing obvious impatience. 

Quickly, the photographer took out her USB drive from her camera bag and gave it to her boss who swiftly plugged it into her computer, her file opening. 

She watched as her demon of a boss' eyes began to skim through the photos, a grin plastering itself onto her face. The Spider's stomach churned in anxiousness, her hands beginning to fidget with her camera bag.

Shit, what did she do?

"Honestly, you're just pulling at my leg at this point." Her boss started. "Jameson did say you were full of surprises though." She hummed. Looking back at her employee she was full of content now. "These pictures of Spider-Woman will do nicely."

Her heart practically dropped.

"What..?" She croaked out.

"They're from New York but thank god we have photo editors. Keep up the good work." She dismissed the photographer who could only stand there, wide-eyed and speechless.

Her boss all the while continued to talk to the person on the other side of the phone, not paying any attention to her employee anymore.

Coming back to the present, the 'retired' vigilante dragged her hands across her face, silently beating herself up for being so reckless.

Maybe it's not too late to change companies again? She could always try Metropolis. Or maybe head over to Washington in Starling City, she's heard that the views are beautiful over there. 

Taking a glance at her phone, she noticed that she still had a full day ahead of her. Turning her head, she stared out her window for a long minute. Maybe going out could help calm her a bit.

With a sigh, she forced herself back onto her feet and put her shoes on, leaving her apartment and letting her feet take her wherever it decided to take her.

---

Her feet ended up taking her to a small coffee shop just a few ways away from her apartment. A different one this time. She didn't think she'd be able to handle the stress if she ended up going back to the same one where she got chased by the two lackeys of Black Mask, and then proceeded to get chased, again.

In the small coffee shop, the Spider found herself a comfy little spot in a corner booth by the window. In front of her was a small cup of coffee, the steam slowly rising from the liquid and dissipating into the slightly colder air. 

Staring at the brown liquid, she grimaced while taking a small sip of the hot drink. Gently setting it down, she stared out the window, watching people pass by, cars driving through the streets. 

God what was she going to do?

Stay? Go? Make amends with the bats and hope they take her heartfelt apology for even stepping foot into their territory?

Closing her eyes for a moment, she tried thinking of what she was going to do now that she pretty much messed up her chances of starting anew. Her brows furrowed, the sound of the quiet chatter of people in the coffee shop, the honking of cars outside, and the AC in the coffee shop buzzing beginning to slightly distract her.

And then—

"You're not making me do this project all by myself are you?"

Her eyes quickly opened.

"What?"

The woman stared at her boyfriend who had an amused look to his face. Her eyes flitted about. She was in his bedroom, the two of them sitting on the floor. He sat across from her as there was a pile of art and craft supplies between them.

"Everything okay?"

She looked up at the boy, who now looked worried. He reached over, hand gently cupping the side of her face, thumb slightly caressing her cheek.

She blinked a few times. "Uh, yeah, I just.." Her brows furrowed.

She just..?

Huh..

Seems like she's forgotten.

She shook her head, her hand gently pulling his hand away from her face while simultaneously giving it a small squeeze.

"Never mind." She smiled.

He stared at her for a moment, studying her expression before his own eased into a gentle smile.

"If you say so." He hums. "Anyways, we better start on this project. Wanna go grab the glue gun? It's on my desk." He motioned his head to his desk, the glue gun laying there.

Letting out a hum of her own, she got up and walked over to her boyfriend's desk.

"You think Ms. Henderson will notice if we add googly eyes to our..."

When she turns back around, she's no longer in his room. Her casual clothes no longer on her body and instead her Spider-Woman suit.

The glue gun now substituted for a metal beam that was raised over her head.

And in front of her?

"What are you waiting for?" His voice made a chill go down her spine as she stared at him. His malicious grin causing her fight or flight instincts to kick in.

"Aren't you going to kill me?!" The man lunged at her.

A scream of surprise and the sound of glass shattering made the woman quickly open her eyes. Her heart pounded against her chest, breath stuttering. Her eyes flitted about her surroundings, trying to ground herself of where she was at.

"Ma'am." A voice weakly called out to her.

Turning her head, she looked at a female employee who looked scared out of her mind. The Spider's eyes trailed down, her hand tightly gripping at the poor girl's arm.

"Oh..!" Quickly, she let go of the younger woman. Looking up, she saw as everyone's eyes were on her.

Standing up, she opened her mouth to apologize, but the sound of glass crunching beneath her shoes caused her to look down.

Her cup of coffee now broken and splattered all over the ground.

Could her day get any worse?

Embarrassed, she apologized once more, paying for both her coffee and the broken cup. She left a generous tip to the employee before quickly leaving the small shop.

Ducking her head down, she made her way back to her apartment, the sound of his laughter quietly haunting her with each step she took.

———

B A M ! !

W H A C K ! !

"Alright smart-ass, last chance." Jason shoved the barrel of his gun into the goon's jaw, his other hand tight around the collar of his suit.

"Tell me where Sionis is, I'll even make it less painful when I knock you out." He bargained.

"Fine I'll talk! I'll talk!" The goon was quick to give in, putting his hands up in surrender. "He's going to meet up with Penguin at one of his warehouses! On the Southside!"

Jason practically pushed his gun closer to the man's jaw, making it more uncomfortably painful for the henchman.

"This better not be another trick like last time." He snarled.

"It's not! I swear!"

"Good."

Jason hit the man's temple with the butt of his gun. He watched as the man fell, his hand going up and pressing a button on the side of his helmet.

"Found Sionis' location. Heading there now."

"Copy that. Let us know if you need backup." Oracle responded.

"Won't be needing it."

Pulling out his grappling gun, Jason left the building. Swinging from a few buildings, not far, hidden behind a few trash cans, he pulled out his motorcycle.

With a rev of the engine, Jason sped through the streets.

"You think she'll show up tonight?" Stephanie questioned through the comms.

"Who? Spider-Woman?" Dick questioned.

"Not with how Jason intimidated her." Tim snorted.

"Yeah Jason, why'd you have to scare her off?" Steph adds.

Jason rolled his eyes under his helmet. "She doesn't need to be in Gotham. If she wants to save people from thugs, she can go back to New York."

"You sound a lot like someone I know." Tim mocked.

Jason frowned. "Shut it Drake. I'll shove your pole up your—"

Bruce quickly intervened before anything else could happen between his children. "Enough. Focus on patrolling."

"Tt. You all are pathetic." Damian said.

Always had to have the last word.

Jason rolled his eyes once more. Pressing the same button, he turned his comms off, not wanting anyone else to bother him while he dealt with Sionis.

As he got closer to the warehouse, he cruised along the streets before turning into another alleyway. Turning off his bike, he made his way up onto the rooftops, grappling from building to building before landing gracefully on the roof of the warehouse.

Turning his detective vision on, he walked around a bit before finding himself a vent. Ripping it off with ease, a small grunt left him as he barely squeezed through the air vents.

Getting himself deeper into the building, his helmet began to pick up two familiar voices talking: Penguin and Black Mask.

"What? Don't believe me Sionis?" Penguin questioned.

"It's not that I don't believe you Cobblepot. I've just had a few rats lie to me these past few days with some recent deals."

The two crime lords stood face to face, a wooden crate opened with guns in them. Standing behind them respectfully were their multiple goons.

A stock difference between the group of men. Penguin's men looking rugged, donning wife beaters with a few jackets to protect them from the Gotham cold, some of them even wearing random masks and face paint. Sionis' men on the other hand all had suits on, all of them wearing a black mask just like the man they worked under.

There was a good number of them. 20 in total, not counting the two crime lords.

"Ah come on Sionis! You really think I'd backstab you? That'd be bad for business. I even got packed some good ones. See?" Penguin led Sionis over to the wooden crate, making the crime lords let out a low whistle.

"Not bad Cobblepot. How much?"

"How about–"

And then Red Hood could see a bit of movement from the corner of his eye. With a frown, he turned the bioscanner on, and just by their movements he was not pleased.

They slowly climbed down the wall, unnoticed by the other goons as they looked at one of the opened crates

"Just my fucking luck." He hissed, getting himself ready to grab Sionis before she could possibly mess anything else up.

"Woah, that's a lot of guns."

What the hell was she doing here?

Just what the hell was she doing here?

She was only supposed to be taking pictures! Not stopping an illegal gun dealing!

She was just trying to get home, catch a few Z's and then head out to take pictures.

But while getting dressed.. Oh lookie here! She had caught herself putting her spider suit on...

. . .

Okay so maybe she was partly at fault. But it was just out of habit! Wouldn't someone who has been dressing as a hero for years pick it back up after going on a hiatus?

It's not like she missed it or anything...

Also! It was good for her job! Might as well start taking pictures of Spider-Woman again like old times! 

. . .

Right..?

..God she hated herself.

She wouldn't let this become a habit again. She swore to stop this hero thing. But then stopping a small burglary turned to stopping a robbery at a shop, to catching lowly criminals spray painting a building, only to then come across a supposed empty warehouse.

And what did she find? An illegal gun dealership between Sionis and some small guy who, oddly enough, reminded her of a penguin.

Sneaking herself inside one of the windows, she set up her camera. Quietly, she swings from a metal beam before quietly dropping down on the unsuspecting men.

Going towards one of the boxes, she gave a small whistle.

"Woah, that's a lot of guns."

Everyone turned towards her while she picked one of them up.

"Oi! Don't touch those!" The short man yelled.

"And they're real?" She weighs the weapon in her hands. "Hey, you guys have a permit for these right?" She looked up at them, only to see they were all pointing the guns at her. "I'll take that as a no."

"Kill her!" Sionis yelled.

Quickly, she jumped in the air as they began to spray bullets at her. Jumping from beam to beam, she shot her webs out at the men, pulling the guns out from their hands and yanking it to hit another goon in the head.

Landing in front of a man, with a fwip of her web, she pulled it out of his hands, waving it around a bit.

"Don't you guys know these are dangerous to use? Could really hurt someone. Woah!" She dodged as another man shot at her.

From the corner of her eye, she saw Sionis and the Penguin guy trying to make a break for it.

"Hey! Leaving so soon!" She called, her webs sticking their feet to the ground. "Don't tell me you're getting cold feet!"

The back of her head slightly tingled, making her quickly jump up in the air as more of both Black Mask's and Penguin's men shot at her. 

"Argh! Watch it you idiots!" Penguin yelled.

"Uh, sorry boss!" 

They continued to shoot at the Spider, but she continued to jump and weave between them all, making the men have to dodge their own bullets.

Landing in the middle of three men, they pointed their guns at her, about to shoot at her until she jumped up.

"Woah friendly fire you guys!" She exclaimed. Webbing the barrels of their guns to a singular string, she yanked it, causing all three of the men to crash into each other in the middle. 

Swinging down as bullets flew at her on one of the beams, she swung down, kicking the same man into the chest. Letting out a yell, the man crashed into another man that was behind him, causing the two to fall back onto the concrete floor.

With a small front flip, Spider-Woman landed on her feet with ease and raised her hands like a gymnast would after finishing their routine.

"What do you guys think? I think that deserves a ten." She looked over at the remaining men who aimed to shoot at her, making her quickly dodge the bullets. "Come on guys, it couldn't be that bad! Yeah I'm rusty but-"

"Would you shut the fuck up!" One of them yelled, pointing his gun and shooting at her more.

Shooting a web, she pulls herself up into the air. "Yeesh.. Tough crowd." 

Making a U-turn, she swings back towards the men, but it wasn't until her skull tingled. With wide eyes, she saw Red Hood swinging over to Black Mask and the short guy.

"Hey watch out!" She yelled, but with how fast the two were swinging, she wasn't able to avoid him in time.

Their bodies clashed mid-air, knocking the air out of both of them, mainly Spider-Woman, Red Hood was built like a fridge, and yet she felt like she got hit by a truck. 

Grunts coming out of both of them, Red Hood's grip on his grappler slackened a bit, and out of the adrenaline rush, the Spider was able to grab Hood with a web before pulling him towards her.

"Let go..!" He grunts.

"Wait wait wait!!" She panics as her brain began to buzz to life. With a quick glance she can see the goons point their guns at the both of them.

Her mind running hundreds of miles a minute, with her free hand, she tries to swing off in a different direction. While doing so though, one of the bullets had grazed her web shooter, causing the fluid to spring everywhere onto the two vigilantes.

"Ah shit..!" 

In an effort to save the two, she took advantage of the fact that the two were already stuck together from the webs and used her other web shooter to shoot out a web to the ceiling of the warehouse, though.. That proved to be fruitless.

The two now hung upside down from the ceiling, chest to chest. The white glowing eyes stared straight back at her white lenses. With a nervous chuckle, she looked at the most likely irritated vigilante.

"You uh.. Come here often?"

W H A C K ! !

Red Hood grunts as one of Sionis' men hits him in the head with the butt of his gun. They all snicker as the two crime lords, finally able to get free from the webbing, walked over to them.

"Some team you two make." Penguin snickers, looking at the two vigilantes.

"We're not a team." Red Hood snarls, before grunting again with another whack to the head.

"Do we kill 'em?" One of Black Mask's looked at his boss.

Black Mask simply shook his head, laughing a bit. "Nah, leave 'em. I'm sure this is a hit to Hood's ego. Better than killing him." 

"Grab everything, we're leaving." Penguin orders.

The two criminals and their goons are quick to the leave the warehouse and the two hanging vigilantes as they slowly spun.

The silence between the two was both awkward and tense. Red Hood had a slight crack to his helmet now. Spider-Woman looked anywhere but the large man, a bit afraid of his wrath she might face.

But of course, as every Spider does, they can't help but break silence with a bit of humor.

"So uh.. Nice weath-"

"Don't."

"Sorry."

The two continued to spin in complete silence until Red Hood finally spoke.

"What were you doing here?" 

She looked at him, raising a brow, even though he couldn't see her face. "Uh...Stopping an illegal gun deal..?" She answered as if it was the obvious.

"No, what are you still doing here in Gotham." He hissed, looking at her. "I told you, you're not welcomed here. If you want to stop crime, go back to New York." 

The Spider opened her mouth, about to respond, but four faces back at New York flashed in her mind, causing her to stop from saying anything. Blinking a bit, she cleared her throat.

"Yeah, well, I can't exactly do that." She said quietly.

Red Hood raised a brow, but stayed quiet. He wasn't about to be someone's therapist. 

Someone was able to break the slightly now solemn atmosphere. 

"You know, I had a bit of a bad night, but I think this definitely made it one hundred times better."

Red Hood cursed under his breath as the two looked over, seeing Red Robin and Spoiler walking towards him.

"No- Don't-"

"Too late!" Spoiler snickered, phone already out as she snaps a photo. 

"I'm going to kill you two." Red Hood seethes. 

The two vigilantes looked at each other before shrugging.

"Worth it." 

Red Robin took out a birdarang and threw it at the single string that held them up. Both Spider-Woman and Red Hood grunted as they fell to the ground. Walking towards them, Red Robin took out another birdarang and sliced the webs, letting the other two vigilantes to stand up and brush away any remaining strands of the webs stuck to them. 

"So, Black Mask and Penguin got away?" Red Robin hummed, a smirk on his lips.

"Shut it." Red Hood looked to him, and even though he was wearing a helmet, they all knew he was glaring at him. With a huff, he crosses his arms, looking at the two. "What you are two even doing here?"

"Oracle realized you were too quiet on your comms. Should've finished a few minutes ago, so she had me and Red Robin come check on you." Spoiler placed her hands on her hips, looking between Red Hood and the Spider. "You're welcome by the way. If we didn't, you two would've probably been hanging from the ceiling for the whole night until we were done with patrol." 

While the two continued to talk, Spider-Woman was off in her own world. Looking at her wrist, she lets out a sad sigh at the sight of her broken web shooter. 

Great. This was going to take her forever to remake. She might need to have Aunt May send her a package of her old web shooters.

"Are you hurt?"

Her head shot up, now face to face with Red Robin.

"Oh! Uh, no. Just checking the damage of my web shooter. Looks like it'll be out of commission for a while." She holds out her wrist with a small chuckle.

With a hum, Red Robin walks to her, taking her wrist and looking at the small invention.

Spider-Woman stood there awkwardly as he looked at it before looking back up at her.

"These are pretty well made, considering these are made of scraps. Are you an engineer?" He looks up at her.

Scraps!?

She doesn't know whether to take his comment as a compliment or an insult. She spent her blood, sweat, and tears to make these web slingers!

She bit her tongue though, giving a slight shrug. "Something like that." She pulls her hand back. Red Robin raises a brow but doesn't question.

"You can probably get that patched up back at the batcave if you want!" Spoiler jumps into the conversation.

Both Red Robin and Red Hood look at her.

"Uh, no."

"I don't think that's necessary."

Both men answered.

Spoiler simply waved them off. "Ah don't listen to them, they're just paranoid like B." Her eyes crease up as she smiles behind her mask that hid the bottom half of her face.

"Oh no, I don't think-" Spider-Woman puts her hands up, but Spoiler was quick to wrap an arm around her shoulders.

"Nonsense! It's the least we can do for you for saving Bru- Er, Bruce Wayne! We couldn't have our playboy billionaire or his son dead." She lets out a slight nervous chuckle while the two men gave her knowing looks.

"Well I wouldn't want to intrude-" Was the Spider's last words as Spoiler began to gently push her out of the warehouse.

"Ah don't worry about it! Batman won't mind!"

Batman minded, a lot. 

Spider-Woman's shoulders were shrugged up to her ears as she looked up at Batman who towered over her, staring her down before looking back at Spoiler.

"Spoiler, what is this?"

This was it.

This was how Spider-Woman dies.

part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4 part 5

next chapter ->

[veryace-ficrecs]

Spiderverse fic recs

This list will include all ratings and tags, so read at your own discretion! :)

I can't guarantee there aren't any spoilers for the new movie!

Superhero Adoption Agency by brushstrokesApocalyptic - Rated T

Jefferson Davis realizes that Spider-Man is a child, and is determined to put an end to his recklessness. Miles disapproves.

It’s a School Night, Why are You Out Saving the World? by TechnicolorVocab01 - Rated G

Jefferson Davis can’t lie to himself, as much as he tries. He and Miles have always butted heads-- his son just has this carefree, unfettered approach to life that Davis' strict, no-nonsense methods seemingly have no place in. A large part of him loves Miles for that, truly, even though sometimes Jefferson feels as if he's just slowing him down. But now, with Miles away at school on weeknights-- seemingly always busy with something or another-- Jefferson has never felt that gaping space between himself and his son yawn wider. Enter the new Spider-Man. A free-spirited kid, five foot nothing and standing between the whole city and danger as if it’s his job, breaking a long series of minor laws with careless ease, and giving a certain cop heart palpitations on a regular basis. Jefferson Davis can’t lie to himself anymore. No matter how much he hates vigilantes-- especially of the masked variety-- a child is a child. And a dad is a dad.

what's up danger by tempestaurora - Rated T

Gwen snorted. “You and Miles would get along-” A smile appeared on her face, growing wider. “You wanna go on a trip?” “A multi-dimensional trip.” “The only fun kind,” she agreed. Gwen turned to him, her smile large and coaxing. “It’ll be great. I’ll get you back here as soon as you want – but it could be fun! Meet Miles, maybe another Peter if we have time.” Peter really wanted to go to another universe, let’s be clear. But he a) had homework, b) didn’t need his brain to melt out of his ears, and c) had a dinner to get to in three hours. He totally ended up going to another universe.

spiderman loves you by owlinaminor - Rated T

Or: how to figure out if your son is actually Spiderman without letting him know that you suspect he’s Spiderman because you want to make sure you’re right about him being Spiderman before you ground him for the rest of his adolescent life.

@heyitsspiderman by meggannn - Rated T

@heyitsspiderman: people act like they know this city but when i’m in the air i find more boroughs all the time. so far ive counted ten. dont listen to big brother in your ceiling (google) telling you otherwise (google maps)

Spinsta (Spidey Insta) by Ravenesta - Rated T

There are things that Jefferson Davis simply does not understand. He's starting to, though.

the family brooklyn by tactfulGnostalgic - Rated T

Series: 4 Works

New York is notoriously protective of its superheroes.

New Moves by WildInkling - Rated G

"Miles needed something else - he needs more moves, he needs new moves. Watching old Spider-man videos on Who-Tube was not gonna be enough." Or: Miles Morales takes up ballet.

Down the Waterspout by Mockingone - Rated T

Peter Parker hightails out of the particle collider with Miles Morales tucked under his arm. Or: Spider-Man lives, and the consequences thereafter.

One New Message by loveydoveywlw - Rated G

"When his dad finds out about him being Spider-Man, it's not in any way that Miles has hoped it would happen." Jefferson finds out about Miles's secret.

Niṣkalaṃka by HydraNoMago - Rated T

“I’m not stupid,” Pavitr retorted stubbornly. Hobie pulled back to look him in the eye, thumbs grazing across Pavitr’s cheeks, dragging frustrated tears along them. “Pav,” he began, but halted to find the right words. He inhaled shakily. “Okay Pav listen, please. You don’t have to be perfect all the time.” “What do you mean–” Pavitr, the Spider-Man who strives for perfection; meets Hobie, the Spider-Man who skews perfection. (A character study into Pavitr, and the progression of his relationship with Hobie. No one dies, everyone moves forward.)

live, laugh, love & sleep by hopeless_hope - Rated T

Being a superhero and traveling the multiverse is exhausting work. So is being a student. You can't blame a guy for always falling asleep. or Five times someone finds Miles sleeping and one time they can't wake him up.

[bluesylveon2]

Weewoo!!! I hope I made it in time because your writings are so squimshy wimshy and cuteeeeeee! Can I please have I Won't Say I'm In Love + Ace Trappola? Thanksiess!!!

You're in luck, anon! Your request was the very last one for my event! My fingers slipped while writing this and there are a lot of first year shenanigans lol. I hope you enjoy!

Notes: mentioned stuff from Book 4 and Ace's voice lines. FLUFF

Word Count: 1292

Warnings: possible ooc characters, not beta read, and very badly written basketball scene (my knowledge is limited 😭)

"Arghh, where am I?" Ace questioned. He was sitting, and the room he was in was dark.

Wait.

Dark?

Ace could feel a soft fabric in his eyes. 'I must be blindfolded,' he concluded. The redhead noticed his hands were behind him and tried to move them but resisted. 

And he was tied up too? 

"When will he wake up?" a deep but familiar voice filled his ears. 

"I'm afraid you might have hit him too hard, dude," another voice added.

"Dude? Don't dude me, you human. Ace is just weak," a very familiar voice said.

Ace scoffed in offense, "Oi! Guys! I can hear you!?"

Everyone in the room took a quick breath. Ace could hear footsteps heading his way, and suddenly, his blindfold was off. His eyes immediately met a bright light, and he closed them due to the brightness. Ace slowly opened his eyes and had to adjust to the light. Everything was dark around him except for Jack holding a flashlight, and the other first years (minus Yuu and Grim) were staring at him. 

"Why did you tie me up?" Ace exclaimed.

Jack sighed, "You all should have listened to me and just asked him."

Epel snorted, "And miss out on the fun? No thanks."

Deuce ignored the two and stepped toward Ace, "Look, we just need you to answer a serious question. Do you like the Prefect?"

"WHAT?? YOU COULD HAVE JUST ASKED NORMALLY!" Ace asked, ignoring Deuce's question. 

Jack sighed, "See."

Deuce sighed, "This is getting us nowhere. Ortho, the powerpoint?" 

Ortho flew to an empty spot in the room (Ace still had no idea where he was), manifested a small device in his hand, and set it down on the floor. A small hologram appeared with a powerpoint titled 'Why Ace loves the Prefect with evidence.'

"The presentation is for us to prove that you like Yuu. It is so obvious, yet nothing has happened," Deuce explained that it was the most obvious thing in the world. 

"I don't like her like that!"

Sebek scoffed, "Don't lie, human! Now watch the presentation."

Epel cleared his throat and approached the projection, "Exhibit A: teasing about her being his type." The slide changed to show a shot of Ace and Yuu walking through the courtyard from someone else's perspective. They were standing side by side with Ace's arm over Yuu's shoulders. There were also some leaves in the footage, so Ace assumed whoever did it was hiding behind some bushes. 

Ace laughed at something Yuu said, "You know, I thought I'd never be into your type, but maybe I was wrong?...Or not!"

Yuu laughed and swatted Ace's arm away, "Your type is magicless humans?"

Ace threw his arm back to its original spot and pulled Yuu close. Meanwhile, Yuu made no move to push it back, "You're special, and you have your own charm," The two continued to walk, unaware of the gasp coming from the student filming them. The voice sounded awfully familiar to Ace. 

"Ortho, you traitor!" The redhead turned to the robotic boy, who shrugged. 

"According to Big Brother's shows, you were clearly showing signs of flirting, which means that you must like Yuu." he deadpanned, causing the other first years to snicker. 

Ace turned to the group, and his resolve started to weaken, "That does not prove anything! That was only me and the Prefect being friendly."

Sebek rolled his eyes and walked to Epel, "Nonsense, human!" He pointed to the presentation with a new slide, "Exhibit B: the basketball game!"

The slide included a video from Ace's recent basketball game; the first years were front and center to watch. It was an NRC vs. RSA match where the game was neck-in-neck. Floyd was in the mood to win, Jamil was gaining fangirls from the 3-pointers he was making, and Ace was currently in possession of the ball. 

The first years cheered as Ace swiveled passed the RSA players and toward the goal.

"GO, ACE! YOU GOT THIS!" Yuu yelled. Only ten seconds were on the clock, and two players left for Ace to pass through. 

He ran around the first guy and through the second as fast as possible. Jamil and Floyd held them off, leaving Ace to score the point. There were only five seconds left when Ace finally jumped. Everyone held their breath as the timer went down.

3

2

1

Ace slammed the ball through the hoop just as the buzzer went off. NRC cheered and picked up Ace in celebration. Once the first year was set down, he immediately ran to where the other first years were. 

Yuu laughed as Ace suddenly hugged her and spun her around. She threw her arms around him as the other first years gawked at them. They watched as Ace spoke to Yuu like she was the only person in the world and vice versa. The noisy audience drowned out the sound, but the group finally realized something was there. Ace even had a big grin and tender eyes to prove it.  

The video ended, and the group turned to Ace, who was bright red. 

"I was caught in the moment! We just won the game!"

Jack rolled his eyes, "You only hugged Yuu and gave the rest of us a high five."

"As Big Brother would say, it looked very sus," Ortho shook his head. 

Deuce stepped forward towards Sebek and Epel, "Moving on, Exhibit C: when you frantically texted me that we have to save Yuu from Jamil even though I got the message too-"

Ace had had enough of this embarrassment, finally letting everything out, "ALRIGHT! I'LL ADMIT IT! I LIKE YUU!" He wriggled in his chair and breathed, "But what was said here stays here, capiche?"

Epel sweatdropped, "Uhh, about that…."

"Myah! You can go in now!" Grim called out, and Ace's face became ghost white in fear. A door opened, and light filled the room. Ace scanned his surroundings and realized something.

"I was in Ramshackle this whole time!" he exclaimed, eyeing the familiar wallpaper and design.

Yuu laughed, "I'm surprised you didn't realize it and you stayed here for a long time." She turned to the other, "You all can leave now. I want to talk to Ace alone."

A series of "alright" and "okays" filled the room as everyone packed their things and left. Yuu bent down to undo the knot when the two were alone. 

"How much did you hear?" Ace asked after a moment of silence. 

Yuu stood before the boy and held his hands in hers, "All of it. Grim insisted that I stayed to listen," She admitted while running a thumb over his hand. 

"Well, I guess I'll admit it again," Ace intertwined their hands. It shocked Yuu so much that she looked at him and saw that Ace had a serious face. "I like you, Yuu. I am willing to say I am in love with you." Yuu stared at Ace in shock, but he could tell there was doubt in her eyes. "What's wrong?"

Yuu sighed, "It makes me happy to hear that because the feelings are mutual. However, what if the same thing happens to your previous girlfriend? You found her annoying and ghosted her!"

Ace stood up and brought Yuu for a hug, "Look, you're not her, and she is not you. You're Yuu, the cheekiest, blunt, and toughest girl I know. I won't ghost you. I promise." He pulled away slightly to look at Yuu with a look that showed off his boyish charm. "Now, how about we get out of here and forget about this weird day."

Yuu laughed and pulled away from the hug. She intertwined her hand with Ace's, "It's a date."

Disclaimer: I do not own Twisted Wonderland and its characters. Those belong to Aniplex, Walt Disney Japan, and Yana Toboso.

©: This story belongs to bluesylveon2 2020-23. DO NOT modify, republish, or plagiarize my work.

[hotgirlstiles]

trick or treat 🧡🧡

HAI ❤️ couldnt decide what wip to post so i decided to go with the trusty ballerina au xD

Stiles wears those leg warmers because he gets cold too easily, and it helps with cramps that he gets while dancing. He once overheard Lydia explain it to Cora once. It keeps him warm while dancing. And helps prevent cramps or something. Human things that Derek never experiences and will always wonder about. He wears those all-too-big sweaters and shirts because they’re all hand-me-downs from his parents. From Claudia. From the sheriff. The shirts, too, the ones that are a little too tight yet somehow fit him perfectly. It had made the housewives chortle with laughter when they realized he was wearing old clothes that belonged to Claudia.

It all felt a little (no, not a little—a whole lot, a whole, whole lot) awful.

Derek learns all of these slowly—piece by piece.

From Cora. From Lydia. From Scott. From everyone.

It’s…difficult. To try. To try and listen and not have his mind instantly go into this place where it only seems to judge and hate Stiles. It’s—appalling. Almost like some—

It doesn’t matter.

Stiles used to almost always get the leading role at Juilliard. It’s a mix of being Claudia’s prodigy and pure talent.

Derek runs around the perimeter. He calls old contacts and tries not to let the additional guilt weigh him down too much. He cooks dinner and tries to remember what Cora’s favorite dessert used to be.

(everything has always been so hazy.)

Stiles loves dancing to Giselle. Watches old ballet videos on his old iPod and sometimes, he spends the last thirty minutes of his training sitting down, knees hugged to his chest and watching his iPod with a face twisted up with grief. Derek thinks it’s an old video of Claudia’s. Derek thinks that Stiles sitting down is an indicator of his training coming to an end.

Derek thinks that talking to Cora would help this situation.

Stiles has gotten around to wearing an old BHPD jacket that used to belong to his dad over long, tight sweaters that seem to belong to Claudia. He’s one big amalgamation of the Sheriff and Claudia. Derek thinks the only thing he ever wears that’s truly his own is the giant pair of headphones always resting around his neck.

Derek can’t seem to talk to Cora. Why can’t talking with your siblings be easy?

Derek once saw Stiles at the park—sitting lonesomely on the park bench, headphones on and staring down at his lap where a carton of strawberries lay. His lips were flushed red and his fingers were stained red and glossy. Derek had watched, like some creep, as Stiles picked a tart, juicy strawberry and brought it to his mouth, biting gently and letting some of its juice dribble down his mouth. Derek had left before any housewives could see and their high voices spurt out nonsense on who and what Stiles is.

Derek had passed by a street vendor, selling fresh strawberries with a smile on her face. The loveliest boy just bought from me, she’d said softly to Derek as he was looking. The sweetest face and an even sweeter personality, just had to give him a discount. It was jarring—to hear such kindness about Stiles.

Derek had come home with five packs of strawberries.

[ipegchangbin]

I like the name of power thought anon <3 btw I didn't really come up with the term...idk if you know these you tubers but they're called noel miller and Cody ko and they have a series called "that's cringe" where they react to/comment on cringe/corny/cheesy content and of those videos is about an alpha male routine and the guy in the video had a book called "POWERTHOUGHTS" and they made fun of it , so know every time I think of smth remotely smart my brain goes POWERTHOUGHT

tw mommy kink ( maybe ), subspace, nicknames like good boy <33

n e ways here's a power thought :

the act of masturbating in front of reader makes channie a bit uneasy. this is something no one has ever seen and since he's extra shy having 100% of readers attention makes him nervous.he covers his eyes first and keeps them shut but with gentle and encouraging coaxing, he opens his eyes and really tries hard to keep looking at her but its hard </3 yet still they tell him to keep stroking himself and talking to him in a soothing voice, encouraging him <33 I found this OF model on tiktok who does mommy role-plays ( don't judge me im fragile and sensitive 😭😭😭😭) their @ is mrslevicoralynn and im gonna come clean here...she makes me weak in the knees

there's this one video where she bends down to the camera, smiles and softly says "did you make a mess?" and wipes the lens NOW IMAGINE....reader saying the same thing after channie cums and cleaning him up. somehow jerking off under readers scrutinising stare made channie have an orgasm so intense it leaves him in subspace. so reader gives their best and cleans him up and massages his legs and shoulders that were straining under the stress of trying not to come too soon. they pepper kisses on his face and neck and tell him that he did well. he gets called a good boy which just makes him preen under the praise and he weakly tries to hug them closer to himself. "channie was good, channie was good" is a mantra he keeps muttering to himself until he conks out in readers arms

thank u for having me and thank u to everyone who liked the prompt and thank u for entertaining my nonsense , much love to u <3

welcome back powerthought anon!!! and happy birthday to our subject in question, poor subby chan !!!

the thing about crybaby chan that gets us all going is that, as you said, he’s shy. in that state, he’s completely vulnerable: you have your eyes all on his body, going over his sensitive areas, and he could feel his skin burn up even if you’re a meter or two apart. you’re touching him with your gaze alone and he already feels like he could see white.

just imagine the look he gives you when he finally stops being so shy. beady eyes that look up to you with hearts in them, lips in a natural pout to show that he’s subconsciously asking for kisses, his cheeks and huge nose heated and flushing with color…couple that with the sweet whimpers he makes as he’s losing the ability to form words and coherent sentences under all the desperation and need for you 😵‍💫

you praise him over and over, knowing that he loves your calming voice whispering sweet things the most. “that’s it, good boys don’t stop. make a mess for me, don’t worry, i’ll take care of you.”

in contrast to your sweet talk, all he could do is mutter “ah” and “oh y/n” over and over again, but you can’t blame him when he went from reeling in pure shock to having the love of his life eat him up without actually doing much.

except at some point, i’m sure he slips and calls you “mommy” as he’s about to finish (in this household, pet names are gender neutral). that’s when you fully realize that he’s in subspace, and you can watch him slip in real time.

“ah, y/n, y/n—hmm, mhmm, m-mommy, i need mommy.”

“does my good boy want me?”

“y-yes! channie needs mommy. baby’s been good!”

you’d usually tease him if he’s truly been good considering the fact that he was touching himself without your permission, but you just can’t now; not when he’s crumbling like this.

he grabs around any piece of your skin, mind hazy and body reacting as if he doesn’t know what to do, only to be completely overwhelmed by his orgasm. he literally doesn’t even have the capacity to think and be aware of how embarrassing he might look: to you, though, it’s never pathetic. he’s always adorable and beautiful to you.

you uttering “mommy’s here” is more than enough to have him clinging to you like a koala. he’s probably a trembling mess by then and you have to clean up a lot. that boy cums a lot but he’s just being good for you!!

he loves it when you care for him. it’s something he still feels guilty about considering he’s usually the one caring for others, but he gets off on the thought that your words aren’t empty. you love him, he loves that you love him, and he loves you too :’))

p.s. holy shit no wonder your anon name sounded familiar!! i havent watched cody ko and noel miller in SO long 😭 BUT IT FITS

p.p.s. no judgements here at all in fact iM LITERALLY GRATEFUL YOU SHARED THAT MODELS ACCOUNT,,, my tiktok fyp is too full of dumb shit i needed more hot stuff like that </3 never feel guilty for indulging !!!

[yarns-and-d20s]

Just finished watching a YouTube video about JKR and her whole "I'm never going to forgive those young people who disagree with me!" nonsense. The YouTuber made a bit of a throwaway comment about the adults who can't let go of HP because of what it meant to them in their youth, and I had too many thoughts for a YouTube comment, so, here I am.

My HP credentials: the first book came out when I was 15. I borrowed it from a younger person in my life, and ended up DNF'ing at the time because those opening chapters were so brutally mean-spirited and bleak I couldn't handle it. What can I say, I was a pretty fragile little thing. I ended up going back to the franchise in 2001 when my best friend wanted me to see the first movie with her. She'd already seen it, and just desperately wanted to share it with me, but would say no more. She bought my ticket and my popcorn, and, well, I ended up spending several years in the HP fandom, and was with it all through the release of the final film, and then slowly, it just sort of dwindled in my interest, though I did re-listen to the Fry-narrated audiobooks or watch the movies again from time to time, and had my various bits of merch hanging around my room.

But I gotta admit, I feel the same way that YouTuber does about the HP adults. The ones who won't let it go despite JKR, rather than, y'know, holding on because of her. The ones who wail, "But you don't understand what Harry Potter meant to me!"

Because the thing of it is: I do. My Harry Potter was David & Leigh Eddings' Belgariad and Mallorean, which was 10 entire books, that grew up alongside its main character, a very special orphan chosen one boy with magic powers and even a special mark on his body (Garion's was on his hand). Hell, he was also raised by his aunt, though I think Aunt Pol would kick Aunt Petunia's ass, and ends up marrying a redhead.

I started reading Pawn of Prophecy when I was 10 (I was a very precocious reader!). I re-read both series a lot up until 2010; I re-read them so much that all 10 books needed to be replaced because they were falling apart. Yeah, they got bought twice in my house. My best friend--the same one who took me to see Philosopher's Stone--also loved the Belgariad & Mallorean and we bonded over those books, talked about them constantly, the whole nine yards. Not only that, but my only other friend in the entire world as a teen also loved those books. They meant the world to me.

But as I progressed through my 20s, I started noticing the bioessentialism and the thing where people from the north and west were good but the people from the south and east were scary and evil or just plain old strange. The fact that very nearly all the female characters could be described as "beautiful and sassy" and were rewarded with marriage and babies if they were good women but if they were bad women who were too masculine in their appetites or behaviours, they got punished for it. On top of all that, news resurfaced several years ago about how the Eddings had been tried and found guilty of abusing their adopted children. They never adopted again after they served out their punishments, and the Belgariad was envisioned by the couple as, like, a love letter/apology letter to children or something like that.

So, yeah, I actually get it. A lot. And the Eddings are dead now, and can't hurt anybody, but I haven't touched those books in 14 years. They were so important to me, and I can still "hear" the influence of the Eddings' style in my own fiction writing. They'll always be special to me, but, you know, there's... there's other books.

I spent years rolling my eyes at people who would pull the "read other books" line. It was kind of ridiculous; I never knew anybody who was into HP and never read anything else. It was just that HP always inspired a particular fandom and devotion because so many people had it in common. I understand how important the community itself was; remember, I was in it.

But by the same token, because nuance is a thing, I don't fully understand not being able to let it go. Yes, I'm sure it was easier for me to let go of because I was an adult (19, closer to 20 than to 18) when I actually got into the franchise. And there was never really a huge, thriving Belgariad/Mallorean fandom. But if your HP fandom friends are only your friends because of HP, then... they're not really your friends, are they?

The Eddings are dead. They can't use their money to hurt anybody. There are living authors right now who are not raging sacks of shit who are struggling to put food on their plates. There are also lots of shows and games that you can love, and maybe there's a movie occasionally, sometimes (note to self: edit and post mini-essay about how the advent of the DVD was a huge stepping stone that led us to the current state of cinema).

I both do and don't know how hard it is to let go of something that meant so much to you as a kid. I know in so much as I've done it; but my autistic brain is struggling to not understand why if I can do it, other people can't. If it's about friends--guys, gals, non-binary pals, they ain't your friends if they don't want anything to do with you if you can't talk about Harry goddamn Potter. If they will talk to you without it, find that thing to talk about.

I know it'll hurt. I still ache sometimes to go back to [insert setting of Belgariad/Mallorean here], and see all my book friends, but, hey, I've sure read a lot of books since I stopped re-reading the same 10 books every 12-18 months for 13 years.

Sometimes, we outgrow things. That's okay. It's allowed. I gave myself permission to make 2010 the last time I read those 10 books. I give myself permission to miss them. I give myself permission to think fondly of what they meant to me. But it became time to move on, because my soul is bigger than racism, sexism, and two people who beat their children, and needed to be fed with new things.

[setaripendragon]

WIPS - I'm curious about the Cat SI. I mean, it's a reasonably self-explanatory title, but I'm interested to know what sort of direction you'd take.

Ahaha, hoooo, okay.

Buckle your seatbelt, cause this one turned into a monster on me (the thing titled 'CatSI' in my WIP folder isn't a file, it's its own folder with fifteen different files inside), and I will try to keep this short, but... ^^"

It started when I was watching some Order of the Green Hand theory videos on youtube, specifically the ones about the Ned+Ashara=Jon theory, which, while I don't think it's true in canon, I do still find it fascinating.

And then I wondered, okay, what if Catelyn didn't blame the bastard (since he's technically not one)? But since that is kind of entrenched in her whole... main motivation, and I genuinely cannot imagine a Catelyn that wouldn't (I don't... really like her. She's the main reason I stopped reading the books, tbh, so I may be being unfair to her ^^"), and the blame the bastard trope is one of my Big Nopes (hence why I don't like her, probably), and I really needed an escape from reality at that point in time...

So it originally started with a freshly transmigrated Cat having a bit of a meltdown on her wedding night (a sexist feudal hellscape wedding night as someone on the ace spectrum, to boot) all over a Ned who also very much wants to just have a meltdown, for obvious reasons. And Cat decides 'fuck it, the old gods don't look down on polygamy, I can at least make sure he gets to keep his lover and son' and tells him to damn Hoster Tully and keep them both.

It gets, you know, a lot more political than that, because everyone and their mother has an opinion about it, or wants to use it against them, etc, but that's the gist of it. Mostly it's an exercise in Make Things Better for Ned Stark with bonus OT3 as endgame.

But, well, I got a lot more invested in this AU as time went on. That need for escape during the pandemic meant I was thinking about this AU pretty much 24/7 and it grew out of control.

I eventually decided to have Cat transmigrate in at birth, and I've plotted out a Childhood Adventure for her that I've stuffed full of fun things for me to play with like a trans friend, issues with the Faith, internal Riverlands politics, her mother's death, etc etc etc, and is, you know, supposed to serve as a sort of set-up for her being properly integrated into the world by the time the Rebellion starts.

So, instead of starting at her wedding, the main story (or Book 2 of the trilogy ^^") starts at Harrenhal. The ten-day tourney in which, word of god says, so much stuff happens. The tourney is being held in honour of Cat's cousin, and the first part of the story focuses on all the ridiculous romantic nonsense that goes on there. There will, of course, be Cat pining over Ned who's pining over Ashara, as well as Lysa pining over Petyr who's pining over Cat and also Lyanna pining over Rhaegar who's ignoring his wife. Cat tries to keep Lysa and Petyr apart, and tries to get Lyanna's attention anywhere else, and actually thinks she's succeeding...

Right up until Lysa tells her she's pregnant. She talks her out of telling their father, but then her own wedding is looming, and the only way to get out of it is to let a good man get killed, and then Petyr challenges said man to a duel for her hand and Cat... says nothing. She doesn't ask Brandon to spare Petyr's life, and so he doesn't. Petyr dies, and Lysa is devastated, and Cat is guilty, and it only gets worse when Lyanna gets 'kidnapped', and Brandon goes off to King's Landing despite Cat's best efforts (were they, though?). Cat gets to stew in all this guilt for a while, and then...

Finally, the Wedding. Politics happen, Cat fights with her father about her betrothal to Ned along with Brynden 'Only Sane Tully' Blackfish, has a panic attack about her wedding night, cries all over her uncle, and asks him, in a fit of desperation to do at least One Thing Right, if, when he gets to King's Landing with the army, he'll try to save Princess Elia and the royal children. Then there's the wedding night, she introduces the idea of polygamy to Westeros (oops?), and ends up fucking pregnant because there isn't really a way to get out of it at this point.

She goes North to meet her new sister-wife Ashara, and then goes looking for Lyanna (honestly, I still haven't quite decided if I'm going with the standard Tower of Joy thing, or if I'm gonna go with the Green Hand's theory about Winterfell, but since it's another theory that I think is fun despite not thinking it's true, I'll probably go with Winterfell). Four pregnant women walk into a bar... Everyone has their babies with no one dying, because Cat actually brings a midwife or six with her, so this one almost counts as a success! Except little Targaryen-Stark baby (who we will henceforth call Geralt) has to go into hiding, and Lysa's bastard can't be known to be hers, and Cat had a girl instead of a boy! Oh, and then Princess Elia shows up with Rhaenys but not Aegon or Brynden. (Honestly, I am very seriously considering killing Brynden off here. Would make sense, him taking on the Mountain and all, but... I don't wanna...)

Baby Geralt goes with Elia north of the wall, and Arthur comes with his sister and the rest of them to King's Landing. Which is where the Politics start. Cat makes the mistake of getting involved by offering the King an excuse to kick Jaime out of the Kingsguard, and then she ends up defending Jaime's honour against Ned, which sticks an oar right in there just when the three of them were starting to build a relationship, and also attracts the attention of Tywin Lannister.

More stuff probably happens, but my notes for this part are a fucking mess, ngl -cries- Why do I like political intrigue so much? It's so hard to write! But, yeah, there needs to be some stuff with the Faith's reaction to the OT3 marriage, Oberyn finding out Elia's alive and the tangle of alliances and grudges that creates, possibly some stuff to do with the Tyrells and other loyalists, and also Cat probably getting too involved in helping Robert govern the Seven Kingdoms.

We end with a bunch of weddings; Tywin engages Jaime to Lysa as a way to drag Cat closer to their family, Robert of course marries Lyanna, which leaves Cersei with Stannis. (And Cat, of course, is still on the outs with Ned, and Ashara's caught in the middle.)

So literally no one except Robert goes home happy.

Then, I have another story planned that covers, primarily the Greyjoy Rebellion, but also the rest of the time before canon. Story starts with Cat, you know, doing everything in her power to prepare the North for the Long Night ('taters, precious), except then, whoops, she gets kidnapped by Iron Island pillagers, kills a man who's trying to rape her, commandeers a ship, survives the war by the skin of her teeth, goes to Pyke and convinces Robert to let the Iron Islands have a not-a-kingsmoot to decide the next Lord Paramount instead of leaving Greyjoy in charge.

Meanwhile, Ned thought she was dead and had a missed-opportunities style revelation that he wishes he hadn't left their relationship so strained after the whole Kingslayer thing, and they make up and talk things out, while Ashara just straight up kisses her as a welcome home. Cat detours to the Citadel on her way home to ask after that one Maester who knows magic stuff, because she's been in this racist sexist feudal hellscape for over a quarter of a century and she wants plumbing, damnit, and also gets the ball rolling on magical sunlamps (Generation-long night?! GRRM, there would be no survivors, wtf?!). Ned starts having wolf-dreams five or six years early, gets his own wolf companion, Cat maybe accidentally wakes up the Lion of Night, the Stark family ends up even bigger than in canon (nine kids instead of six, because I am a sucker for kidfic, okay), everything ends happily ever after.

Until the beginning of canon, anyway =D

(And then there's the AU where the extra Stark babies are all transmigrators as well; Obi-wan Kenobi, Tony Stark, and Frodo Baggins (or possibly Wei Wuxian, I haven't quite settled on that one 100% yes). But I don't have much more on this beyond a few funny snippets of the transmigrators recognising each other and doing a spider-man meme about it ^^")

Most of what I have written for this AU is actually a whole bunch of Canon Crossovers where, variously, Jaime Lannister, Tywin Lannister, the Six Canon Starks, Cat herself, or Ned Stark from the AU swap places with their canon counterpart and generally freak out a lot. (And the reverse, but that's less fun because Cat, of course, spots them at 200 paces and is there to explain shit.)

[incarnateirony]

So. Last night I spent at a friends house, who stays with the local head of the BDSM community. And while talking out some shit going on with his gf I was like--bro, when women--or anyone really but a woman in this context--start doing that shit and finding bizarre ass nonsense reasons to blow up, and can't even perceive its insane nonsense, it's because they're already grinding axes and looking for reasons.

And Master David was like, "I think we call that Lemoning now."

I've been fuckin FLOORED. RIP ex-wifey, you and your cheating lemons are just a whole manner of speaking now. Your lemon debauch has been COINED.

Truly funny because master david is actually a native american practitioner and when I had explained her lemon insanity and squealing about curses he was like "You know I deal with a lot of practices and lifestyles. And never have I EVER heard of LEMONS being used for CURSES. It is literally the opposite." Bro wait until I tell you how her very presence murdered a lemon overnight "GUESS YOU NEEDED THE LEMONS THEN HUH" "Man she was screaming I needed to sunsoak lemons before bringing them in the house" "BRO DID SHE NOT UNDERSTAND THEY COME FROM THE SUN ON TREES???????? THEIR WHOLE LIFE????" "BRO THATS WHAT I SAID, BITCH WENT CRAZY OVER NOTHING ABOUT LEMONS" "IT'S A CLEANING AGENT" "Well, I'm sure that would have made sense to her if she wasn't waiting to move in her new boyfriend."

So now, congrats. Your Lemoning is now infamous and about to spread like wildfire in the KC BDSM comm and all the wings of its occupants.

Protip: the munch com and LGBTQ comm have a *hella lotta overlap*

In this case, friend's GF was essentially angry at him over youtube's algorithm. He watches a lot of marketing and business videos, and yes, there is in fact a right wing bias in rich people (shock and awe), and sometimes, it autosuggests something. So he had clicked what looked like a demographic video and only let it play like a minute and a half before he realized it was some extremist right wing garbage and turned it off but she turned it into a whole shitshow after, even though he had voluntarily turned it off (and like, he showed me, the timestamp deadass stuck like a sliver in with the time bookmark thing). And went dramatic crying for an hour in bed and walking the neighborhood for an hour after even while he tried to ask what to do to fix it or what he did, then packed up her shit and hauled off and refused to answer him.

that there's a bitch looking for an excuse.

[lorestory0]

Had a dream that involved a lot of anime but was mostly eminence in shadow.

the entire dream was set in a big sims 4 house kind of building but it was mostly unnervingly long hallways with many black haired anime protagonists.

claire is trying to find cid. thats the entire plot of the dream.

heres some highlights i remember. knowing dreams, i may remember more somehow eventually

kirito from sword art online gets dragged a short distance by claire before she realizes he is not cid. he looks the most like cid out off everyone there but its weird kirito was the only one claire tried dragging away considering how claire doesnt seem to be good at recognizing him.

protagonist from anime called "no longer allowed in another world" jumps out the window and dies. claire freaks out for a bit but not sure if she mistook him for cid. he dont look like cid, but claire doesnt seem to be good at recognizing cid.

at the end when claire finally found him she was about to yell at him or something but before she could, he calmly showed her a video of a prank some guys pulled by putting futuristic holograms above a car. the holograms were of people and they told someone in another car they are under arrest. i think they gave the reason for arrest and it was some time travel related crime. both cars in on the prank. it was only a prank to other drivers.

i feel like i had claires nightmare. lol

i like how the ending after all that was cid showing claire what i guess is some viral video that only exists in the dream world.

this dream is also the first time im seeing most of these people in dreams.

i recently started watching sword art online and really like kirito. my broken humor likes how this is the first time i seen him in a dream

i also like how this is not even my first cid dream that was 100% just ridiculous. i think this the first time seeing someone else from the eminence in shadow in dreams thats not shadow or someone from shadowgarden.

except... i actually saw cid's dad in a dream before seeing shadowgarden lol thats the other ridiculous cid dream i remember.

completely nonsensical. where is the sense

ended way too soon because someone woke me up. im just as curious or curiouser probably than anyone else seeing this about what would happen next

[mantabay]

Honestly, you saying that pretty much the only reason why any of Lily’s crappy, drama-mongering videos get popular in the first place is specifically BECAUSE she designs them with ragebaiting people into hatewatching them in mind is one of the most honest things I’ve ever heard a member of her personality cul-I mean audience say. Yes Mantabay, pretty much the entire reason for Lily’s success IS her being an extremely cynical outrage merchant frequently adopting the most contrarian opinions possible TO make people angry at her, and then crying whenever she gets exactly that kind of negative attention she wanted so much to begin with. But, unlike your lies, that’s what makes her videos so painfully BAD to watch and why Lily FAILS so fucking hard as a critic. Because the types of terminally online, anger obsessed rants that she tries to claim are video essays. AREN’T actually appealing to any normal people at all! Hell, even going outside once a MONTH is enough to fucking gate somebody out of the terminally online creeps and bigots that she makes her videos to directly appeal TO!

You’re angry at her for saying Spy x Family is an adorable anime and possibly the best in recent years? That Hamtaro is super cute and everyone should watch it? That it was wrong of Vivziepop to misuse voudou in Hazbin Hotel? That the netflix adaptation of A:TLA butchered a beloved childhood series? That Star Wars has done dirty its characters & actors of color for years? That Turning Red was a very fun movie that nailed its target audience? That SVTFOE had a bad ending? That the Harley Quinn show is as enjoyable as it is a wild ride? That Encanto was a simultaneously cathartic, heartwrenching film? That Pokémon should return to its roots and focus on gameplay more than 4 hours of cutscenes?

Those contrarian, ragebaiting opinions?

None of those are controversial. Those are extremely popular opinions. In fact, so popular that she’s now doing better than MovieBob. This evidently seems to bother you. Her success gets under your skin so much that the only way you can vent your hurt fee fees is to go running after anyone who interacts with her content.

I’ll bet dollars to donuts you’re one of the people who caused her to make her Steven Universe video public again. Your inability to stop frothing at the mouth over her made her money, didn’t it? She gave you the option to just leave her alone and it’d stay privated for good, but you just couldn’t help yourself. You’re that obsessed.

As entertaining as it is to know you hoisted yourself on your own petard this way, unfortunately none of this is going to make its way to your favorite woman in the world. I never make any effort to lead her to my blog, which means you’re screaming nonsense into the void. Isn’t that kind of sad?

Hey, but if you still want attention I can field more of your anonymous asks, since you’re too scared to attach your username to your apparently “normal” and not at all terminally online opinions. I’ll just respond only with the same reaction image over and over. ‘Cause there’s nothing else to say to you that you don’t already know.

[paulisweeabootrash]

Romantic Killer

Romantic Killer (TV anime, 2022)

Episodes watched: 12 (whole season)

Platform: Netflix

High school classmates Anzu and Kazuki do not know each other at all, but have one important thing in common: they are emphatically uninterested in dating. Not just each other but anyone. After Anzu sees Kazuki reject a girl's confession in a train station, they can't seem to stop accidentally meeting and getting more and more entangled. Anzu literally runs into Kazuki at a convenience store and accidentally breaks his phone, they have awkward encounters at school, he has to stay over at her place due to a freak storm, and to top it all off, his apartment is flooded so he moves in with her for a month as a form of her paying off his replacement phone. Sounds like contrived romcom nonsense, right? Maybe even dating-sim-level contrived romcom nonsense? Well, that's exactly what it is!

See, Anzu recently started up a mysterious dating sim that summoned an absolutely chaotic asshole wizard named Riri. Riri, a magical mascot character who looks like a flying potato stole Mickey Mouse's wizard hat, is determined to throw every type of dating sim contrivance they can at Anzu to try to get her together with Kazuki... or anyone else. After showing a ludicrous block of on-screen terms-and-conditions text and saying something about (of course!) Japan's birthrate, they confiscate Anzu's three basic needs -- video games, chocolate, and her cat -- and threaten to return them only when she falls in love. They even find a pretext to send her parents overseas for good measure to smoothen the whole "living together" angle. Anzu turns out to be more resistant to the threat than Riri thought, however, so they add the best new ingredient for this situation: a childhood friend named Junta who is here to create a love triangle, complete with his own very silly reason to move in.

Far from Riri's expectation of romantic tension, however, the three humans they forced together settle into a very platonic and very functional life as roommates. And that's the basis for the show's formula. Nearly every episode features that resident chaos gremlin Riri attempting to generate conflict or jealousy or compromising situations and that attempt getting defused into the non-romantic love between people who just enjoy hanging out. Anzu, Kazuki, and Junta are just nice people doing nice things, trying to navigate other people's assumptions that one of them must be dating Anzu.

The childhood friend, Junta, and his family all recognize and have fond memories of Anzu but she seems to have no idea who any of these people are. A few flashbacks suggest he was part of the group of boys she regularly played video games with growing up, and maybe, just maybe, she simply forgot over time... but it sure seems like Riri manipulated the memories of everyone in Junta's family to create the romanceable childhood friend angle. Does Junta have real, non-manipulated feelings for Anzu? Will this actually result in a romantic relationship? Well, you'll just have to watch and find out.

Riri also tries to wedge in a third "romantic option", the out-of-touch aristocrat Hijiri, and he is so pompous and pushy that I have a hard time appreciating his attempt at doing "commoner" activities (including getting a job) to try to impress Anzu. Luckily, the writers seem to view him as little more than a recurring joke, and avoid making him prominent.

Oddly for a show made by Netflix, one of Romantic Killer's weakest points is... bingeability. There is so much recap and so much use of very similar jokes that watching multiple episodes goes from funny to annoying quickly. I'm not even much of a binge-watcher, but I haven't seen anything that is this obviously designed for weekly consumption in quite a while. It's refreshing in a way.

The season wraps up with a small detour into drama and consequences, which I won't spoil, but overall maintains its sitcom status quo. The last episode tries very blatantly to wrap things up in a way that can either work as an ending or set up a second season, but I don't know whether it could be executed as well, especially since it seems to set up a transformation into the exact love-triangle-based romcom that its entire point is to not be. We'll see.

-----

W/A/S: 5/2/4

Weeb: A bizarre magical creature is forcing a dating sim fan into very anime-specific romcom situations. Definitely up there on this scale, but hardly unapproachable for the non-weeb audience.

Ass: As usual for the kinds of things I feel like reviewing, some sex comedy but not fanservice.

Shit (writing): There is too much recap and handholding, especially for a Netflix show you'd think would be written with flexibility and binge-watching in mind. I mean, this is the kind of show that contains flashbacks to earlier scenes in the same episode, which smacks of padding.

Shit (other): I generally enjoy the "art style shift to convey tone shift" technique in animated media, which seems to be especially common in anime, but sometimes the comedic art style shifts here are... too much. Like, not used judiciously, especially the shift back and forth between the "normal" detailed art and the thick-lined simplified-emotions art. I love the send-up of all the recent nominally-dating-sim-based shows. Even though the non-love interests are a bit bland-looking, you will not find a case of same face syndrome here, with even minor characters being easily distinguishable.

[hopeididntscareyou]

if i have the opportunity i would like to spend my day with the elderly and go to disneyland or wherever that would make them feel young again. it would really make me super happy. i always have a soft spot for older people. i like taking care of the elderly more than children. old people have so much wisdom. the fact that they lived for atleast five decades already earned my respect because i had always planned to die early. And to be completely honest, i’m sick of hanging out with people my own age. in my generation i feel like a lot of people are broken with trust issues, lacking self-awareness, principles and don’t know how to work through their issues. its been normalized to just block/delete and treat people like they are just objects to be thrown away and replaced. people act like ghosting is acceptable. in fact a lot of popular videos on youtube just teach people to become dismissive avoidants. They are forgetting that by being petty they also forget kindness, respect and compassion for others. Its like everybody's on defensive mode. i’m honestly so appalled by this culture and environment. i’m tired of all these mind games and narcissistic shit i have to play just to feel satisfied when dealing with them. It feels like chasing a high that is nonexistent, and the only happiness you could achieve is the society's standards, but not your own. In reality its just all a cycle of broken people doing broken things to each other. I am not really like that yknow? i have a big heart and a genuine love to share. it sucks not being able to be that person just because of petty reasons that don’t even matter. 

actually, i just had that epiphany recently, as i’ve stumbled upon some disturbing movies i’ve seen before in my teens, which has been a very heavy process for me tbh, its like i was forced into extreme exposure response therapy, some of them were;

Women’s Flesh: My Red Guts -

Basically a hardcore self mutilation porn. Girl tortured and ate herself to death (literally) after her boyfriend broke up with her. Very gory, she even ate her insides. What the fuck. for me the disturbing part is the psychology of this person. like wow how much hatred you have in yourself to do this kind of shit and for the most pettiest reason. The fact that this movie was made is disturbing, there is no purpose in this movie other than to give fanservice to sickfucks who hates women and hates themselves. some people make jokes that she’s the ultimate girl boss, which is even more disturbing. i knew ppl who watch this are no good.

Tumbling Doll of Flesh: snuff porn, enough said. definitely not for beginners. and its japanese so its even more perverted. if you watch this be prepared to be insane for awhile. however at the time i’ve seen this i’ve already seen guinea pig series so it wasn’t as shocking to me as this is what i had expected

Angel's Melancholy - also known as the most disturbing movie of all time accdg to google results, i already made a review of this but its just basically a low quality material of all your disgusting fetishes. Mainly scat porn, urination, torture/rape involving colostomy, real animal abuse, bestiality, some other weird fetish, you name it. Faggots doing faggotry. The worst thing about this movie is how pretentious it is and trying to be philosophical in the worst possible way. This movie is nothing but a worthless and meaningless trash. An absolute waste of time.

August Mordum Underground: another disgusting nonsensical trash. Includes self performed penectomy (and having sex with the severed penis) disembowelment and having sex with some corpse’s intestines, incest, self harm, lots of rape, necrophilia, pedophilia, cannibalism, maggots, vomit fetish, etc. damn this movie was definitely a tryhard. This is the kind of movie you should watch if you're trying to lose weight. Trust me, I wasnt able to eat for days and ended up throwing up all foods i tried to eat.

Thats just a few of hundreds i’ve seen in my life and there’s no way I’m going to try to recount all my experiences with these movies. 

I realized, i don’t want to watch disturbing shit anymore. Like why the hell would you want to watch these movies? This is heavy shit were talking about. You could get PTSD in these movies unless you are 100% nihilist and theres no humanity left in you. Or if you are a full blown misogynist, you would definitely like these movies. I’ve never enjoy these movies, especially now as an adult. Honestly its just some edgy hobby of mine as a teenager that used to be some kind of ‘endurance test’, with the added fact that i have morbid curiosity, i couldn't just stop. But everything I had to suffer through and how it impacted me mentally, I realized its just not worth it. I was addicted to brainstorming what these movies were trying to convey, but in reality most of these movies are really just nothing but meaningless porn for depraved, sickfucks to fap to. You think you would find some depth in these people just because they're twisted, but nope. They are just as shallow and braindead as normies. I basically wasted my energy trying to understand 'human psyche' that is absolutely worth nothing of value. And reading more about Marquis de Sade’s philosophy disappointed me even more, its just proven to me how stupid and retarded all of this is. Its just all broken people living their meaningless lives, slaves to superficial pleasure. I've never even a fan of Epicurus, his philosophy is a big delusional cope to his celibate and unmarried life and pleasure is good, suffering is bad analogy is so retarded. Life to me is not about chasing pleasure and I'm more than grateful that I've lived most of my life in pain and suffering because that honed the character that i have today.

Also, If i keep watching this sort of movies then what would that make me? Afterall, if I ever knew someone who has voluntarily watched this kind of stuff I would run away from this person VERY FAST. I don't even care if they just have morbid curiousity like I do. Some individuals out there are needed to be avoided at all cost before they even realize that watching is just not enough for them. I'm not going to participate in this sickfuckery anymore, I don’t even want to watch Terrifier 2 even its nothing as disturbing as my usual. I just don’t want anything to do with this. This recent experience of revisiting these films has been a wake up call to me, and again, its not just about changing my favorite genre of movie but also about changing other areas of my life such as my social life. I don't want to engage in this games that people play for social status and power. I've seen it all and I'm tired of it because i see it nothing more as a broken cycle of broken people just chasing a high. That is not my character at all. I reflected a lot these past few days and I realized, I can be authentic as I can be without corrupting my inner child and compromising my values

[waynedunlaptheorgandonor]

watched s11ep1

i will provide you with a quick review before i disappear back into the ether of twd avoidance

lots of spoilers under the cut. also i wrote way too much and i worked all night and haven’t slept so i didn’t bother to reread literally any of it, so it might be completely nonsensical, tho if you don’t expect that from me by this point idk whose blog you’ve been reading

enjoy:

hokay, first off, i’ll start by saying that i enjoyed it more than i expected to. i’ve been avoiding any sort of discussion about stuff, but my google algorithm is so fucked at this point that i still get recommended articles and stuff every now and then, so i was already pretty aware of what i was walking into, and was expecting it to be eh, but actually i prob enjoyed it more than i enjoyed the finale

(don’t get too excited tho, the finale was rly boring lmfao)

anyway

episode starts off with a tense scouting mission

it takes .005 seconds into the episode for caryl to exchange a look of longing, establishing that they are still having weird conflict and are both too fucking stubborn to do anything about it even tho they hate it desperately

i imagine that will continue for a while

rosita, kelly, carol, maggie, what’s her face with the bad hair, and lydia (i think that’s everyone?) lower down to some army bunker or something, where a bunch of walkers are taking a snooze, and the girls are very respectful of walker naptime, and do their best not to wake them up

obviously they eventually wake up, but i’ll get to that in a sec

as they’re tiptoeing through the walker tulips, there’s this split second where carol spots a machine gun, and looks at maggie with a face like, “can i plzzzz, i am mad horny for that machine gun,” but maggie tells her no. (i 110% expected her to defy orders and accidentally wake up all the walkers, but she actually behaved herself for once. well. mostly)

never fear, tho, after the girl gang collects a bunch of MREs they go back to wait for the dudes waiting up top to pull them up, and bc men ruin everything, one of the ropes break, and daryl catches it before it falls, but then a slow motion drop of blood falls on a walker’s face, and just like that, walker naptime is over, and carol uses her bow and arrow for two seconds before she is like “fuck this” and whips out the machine gun

yes, she is super hot using it

yes, daryl watches her do it

anyway, all the other girls get rescued, and carol is about to be pulled up, but bc she is a #girlboss, she first makes a beeline for one more crate full of MREs. daryl covers her while she gets the loot, and when she gets back up top they have another charged moment as carol hands him back his knife

just fuck already, jfc

titles!

cut to alexandria where everything is still not smilestimes

BUT, we do get to see uncle daryl run and hug rj and judith (and dog), and FUCKING HERSHEL JR, LIGHT OF MY LIFE is also there

istg, they could not have casted a better child, i a d o r e him

oh, and some friends of maggie’s show up too, idk

cut to a staff meeting where everyone is like, whomp whomp, we’re all gonna starve to death unless we figure out something quick

cue maggie going, “oh, i know where food is, but it requires me to tell you my tragic backstory, in case anyone didn’t watch my bottle episode”

she tells her dramatic backstory about all her friends getting slaughtered by the reapers for no apparent reason, and then she’s like “anyway, let’s go back there!”

no one thinks it’s a great idea, but a group of people decide to go anyway, including daryl and gabriel. rosita is super pissed that gabriel is going, and carol doesn’t go, probably partly bc it’s a shitty fucking idea, and also bc they have to keep caryl apart bc otherwise they’ll fix their problems ahead of schedule and they won’t be able to drag out the needless angst

daryl looks kind of annoyed that carol doesn’t volunteer to go 

bitch, i thought you wanted her to stop putting herself in the line of fire! make up your damn mind!

moving on

cut to a thunderstorm, where, if you look closely, you’ll notice daryl is wearing the STUPIDEST hat i’ve ever seen. just get an umbrella, jfc

for some reason negan is with them, bc ig he knows his way around washington dc, and no one in six years has bothered to figure out how to get around the city and/or get a map, and he is like “hey guys, maybe we shouldn’t try to walk in this fucking hurricane,” and everyone is like “FUCK YOU NEGAN, YOU’RE NOT THE BOSS OF US!!!” 

this will be a common occurrence 

but eventually daryl is even like “actually, it’s rly unpleasant out here, and my hat is mad stupid, can we go inside plz?”

so they go inside an old metro station, which is actually a rly cool cinematic choice. i rly like the idea, and they executed it rly well

speaking of executions

there are some fucking RULL CREEPY walkers. idk why they bothered me so badly, but they were what they at first assumed were corpses wrapped up in tarps, but turns out none of them had been properly put down, so they go through killing these rotted bodies that had supposedly been there since The Fall, and it’s very gross and cool

this entire time, btw, negan is like “hey, i know i’m a shitty person, but i have some rational arguments about why we shouldn’t be doing this right now,” and everyone is like, “FUCK YOU NEGAN, YOU’RE NOT THE BOSS OF US!!!” and he’s just like “god fucking damnit”

(i forgot to mention that at one point, when they’re headed into the metro station, negan is trying to warn ppl of the potential danger, and everyone is ignoring him, and he tries to talk to daryl, and daryl is like “fuck you, you think we’re BUDDIES?” and negan is like “oh, ok, so you’re gonna be like that too? fanfreakingtastic” and it’s very funny)

anyway. a fat monster zombie escapes its tarp at one point, and tries to eat some npc, and negan saves him, again is like “hey, anyone else realize that this is a FUCKING BAD PLAN?”, and everyone is like “we don’t care, you’re still shitty and we’re not listening to you, and you don’t actually care about random npc i would literally not be able to pick out in a lineup bc his face is so generic, you’re not the boss of us!!!”

it’s at this point that negan finally is like, “why am i even here? bc i know how to get around washington dc? do none of you have a map?” and i was like, “right?! that’s what i said!” 

it’s then revealed that maggie only brought negan along to murder him under the guise of “oops, he got hurt in the line of duty, it wasn’t my fault,” and daryl has this look on his face that says, “i seriously need to stop hanging out with lethal women bent on revenge bc it’s gonna give me high blood pressure,” and maggie has a badass moment where she points a gun she has for some reason at negan and is like “i have like, one shred of human compassion left inside of me, and if you keep pushing me i will fucking kill you without a second thought, so shut the hell up”

(in her defense, negan had just dropped glenn’s name to purposely antagonize her, which was rude as hell)

(for the record, i’m completely on maggie’s side here, but negan still is right that trapping themselves in a metro station is a bad call)

anyway, moving away from that briefly

i think this jump cut happens sooner, i don’t actually remember, but whatever who cares, point is, we get to the part of the show that actually matters, and that’s anything involving my love, juanita “princess” sanchez

and also eugene, yumiko, and ezekiel

they are being asked increasingly invasive questions by commonwealth ppl, some of which i wish they actually would of answered (what do they use to wipe their asses with?? surely toilet paper has long since become extinct)

zeke, who is so much more tolerable as a character now that he’s not larping as a king, has this incredibly weird and sort of sexually charged moment with a dude in an orange stormtrooper costume, where he’s like, “i bet you were an asshole cop back before The Fall, you stupid fascist, #fuckthepolice, mb literally? idk, this moment has a lot of pent up aggression that could easily translate to hate sex, it might just be the intense eye contact, but w/e, let’s just move along,” and then he has a coughing fit to remind the audience that he’s currently dying of cancer, and orange stormtrooper is like “lolz, loser, drink some water you dumb piece of shit”

cut to the wholesome foursome sitting at a picnic table in a guarded courtyard eating gruel, and yumkio, who finally has a personality, and princess are like “hey, this place fucking sucks, can we leave?” and zeke is like, “yeah, i met this orange stormtrooper who i think might be dtf and/or murder, so we should probably bounce”

but eugene is like, “but i want some hot stephanie ass, and also some bullshit excuse about how mb commonewealth will save alexandria” which, they left before things went super downhill, right? idr. it was after hilltop fell, but they don’t know alexandria got fucked either, if i recall? w/e, not important

two seconds after he says this, they talk to some people who are like “we’ve been here for four months, or maybe it’s been nine, i don’t actually remember, i’ve stopped processing the passage of time,” and the wholesome foursome takes this as a bad sign, tho that’s just the life i’ve lived as a night worker during a pandemic, so i was like #mood

but then they watch some guy get dragged away screaming to get “reprocessed” and eugene is like “ok, nvm, let’s bounce”

(my theory on what “reprocessing” is, is that they’re stuck in a room and have to watch hours and hours of customer service training videos on vhs from the 90s)

i definitely got my jump cut scenes mixed up bc i think the negan accusing maggie of a murder plot thing happened in between this scene and then the next commonwealth scene, but w/e, i’ll just finish what happens in the commonwealth arch

the wholesome foursome are trying to hatch a plan to escape, except princess, my love, is distracted watching some stormtroopers flirt, and the other three are like “wtf, dude, how can you even tell any of them apart?” and princess then tells them every stormtroopers backstory bc she is brilliant and pays rly close attention to shit, and the other three are like, “this is useful information, thank you for being an insane person”

their plan involves yumiko and eugene dressing up as stormtroopers and leading princess and zeke out of the place, which works fine actually, except on their way out they come across the Depressing Wall of Probably Mostly Dead Missing Loved Ones

they’re about to leave, when princess is like, “wait, yumiko, you’re on here, that’s weird huh?”

sure enough, yumiko  is on the wall, with a note from ig her sister 

the scene ends with yumiko going, “guys...i can’t leave...i have tragic backstory to unveil”

tragic backstory to be continued ig

back in murder metro town, npc and some other npc have stolen all the supplies, there’s a train blocking the track, and a horde of walkers are coming towards them, so things are not going fantastic

they horde is too big to take down, so they start to climb on top of the train car to get away

but dog runs away!

and daryl, being every pet owner ever, is like “gotta go get my dog, guys, try not to get killed while i’m gone, c u soon!” and he ducks under the train and disappears

#priorities

the episode ends with maggie climbing up the train car but getting grabbed by a walker and dangling off the edge, and negan is there and they have a lion king moment where maggie is like, “scar! help me!” and negan is like “long live the king, bitch” and walks away into the shadows, leaving maggie to a potential death

which, while i know isn’t actually going to happen, would be a really fucking funny move on the writers’ part

like, “look, lauren’s back! and now she’s dead, bet you didn’t expect that!”

anyway

my assumption is negan will actually end up helping her up or something, continuing his ambiguous morality bullshit that actually isn’t ambiguous bc he BEAT GLENN TO DEATH WITH A FUCKING BAT WRAPPED IN BARBED WIRE IN FRONT OF HIS PREGNANT WIFE

the maggie/negan arch is kind of dumb, but whatevs, i’ll tolerate it, as long as my boy glenn gets justice in the end

anyway, cue credits!

final assessment: good episode. i’m much more interested in commonwealth than the reapers, tho i am hoping that daryl’s personality-less ex turns out to be a monster killing machine with no conscience, that’ll be fun. princess is a gift from god. hershel jr needs his own tv show. needs more carol (and caryl)

the end! going back into my walking dead free chamber! see you next episode!

-diz

[m-aster-of-spinjitzu]

the hues of an empty sky

Missing memories, or having two of them for one moment - not quite the same, but if there's one thing Jay's leant over the last few weeks, it's that literally nothing makes sense anymore.

Or, some Skybound aftermath, Zane actually expressing emotions about his memory switch being turned off for all those years, and what was supposed to be a 'they tell everyone about the erased timeline' fic, but it turned into a 'two characters who barely interact on screen talk at like one am in the morning, and don't actually tell the other what exactly they're alluding to the whole time' fic that I wrote at like one am- 

Also yeah, I realized too late that they split up to look for Wu after s7, we’re just gonna pretend that they waited a few days or something, idk anymore tbh, lol.

(I also didn't have time to edit - so please tell me where the typos are? 😂💛)

Word count: 4539

Prompt: crying, from @ninjago-bingo 's warm board.

Trigger warnings: the main character has a panic attack, and squeezes their fingernails into their hands once or twice but I think that's it.

*facepalms* also, guys, i’m so stupid - i literally just realized that this freaking CHANGES TENSE HALFWAY OHMYGOSH I-  i don’t think it’s super noticeable, but ugh, apologies to anyone who actually thought my writing was good lol-

---

It's cold.

Bitterly, freezing cold.

The biting chill of the air is a bit strange for this time of year, but, heck, that's nowhere near the craziest thing that's ever happened to him - not by a long shot.

He sighs, squinting at the stars dotted liberally against the black canvas of the sky.

Cole had once joked that one of them might be the remains of their golden weapons, after they'd hurled the burning mass into the sky - in another alternate timeline; one that only existed in the memories of a certain few.

Gosh - that seemed like such a long time ago.

Wouldn't it be nice to go back to that time, when he'd still thought that their powers were the coolest thing ever - instead of despising them for all the responsibility and sacrifice that came with them? When one of his biggest worries was whether the girl he had a crush on liked him back - not wondering if his friends would survive the night?

"I did not expect to find you awake at this hour, Jay."

Reflexivity, he jumps back, his mind twisting his friend's gentle voice into the- the djin's triumphant, accented one.

You're supposed to be a ninja. What good are you if your friends can still sneak up on you?

"Geez, warn a guy before you sneak up on him! I almost fell off the Bounty!"

"My apologies. I was... surprised to find you awake at this hour," Zane answers. "What are you doing?" "Couldn't sleep. It's too cold," he confesses, not entirely a lie. Ninjago wasn't 'that' far from the Sea of Sand, but he'd grown up in a much warmer area - unfortunately resulting in his practically nonexistent tolerance to the cold. That never failed to stop Kai from teasing him about it, though. He doesn't mention the pressing weight on his chest, almost tangible - or how it constantly makes him feel. Like he's being dragged through the darkness of an empty sky, spikes of fear making everything so freaking terrifying- "You?"

"I have been analyzing my memories of Pixal, in the hope that it may lead me to her whereabouts. However, all my efforts have proved... unsuccessful," Zane answers wearily, shifting his gaze to the sky.

Oh- oh. They'd all be so caught up in the chaos of the last few weeks - hey, it's not like any of them had asked the universe to permanently be out to get them! - that they'd forgotten Pixal was still offline.

"Hey, I'm sure that she's still there somewhere," he says, earnestly. "After all - she wouldn't be your girlfriend if she didn't pull a vanishing act every now and again, eh?"

The question is punctuated with a laugh, but he doesn't say that he's a little worried about her too. They hadn't talked much, but-

I can't see one of my best friends find out that his girlfriend is dead, a quiet voice at the back of his mind points out. Well - been there, done that, wouldn't recommend, he thinks bitterly. Emotional breakdowns and frequent nightmares apply. Anxiety attacks are half off, too!

It's quiet for a few minutes, neither of them seeing a need to break the silence. The wind blows softly through the sails above them; gray wisps of cloud revealing a pale sliver of moonlight that paints the sky in its glow.

It should be a peaceful night: beautiful, calm, no one trying to kill them or destroy their city - for a change.

His hands won't stop shaking.

It should be a peaceful night, but, as usual, the world is too freaking unfair for that-

He hasn't even slept for a full night in weeks! Well, not since- since-

Don't think about it! That's only going to make it worse, duh-

"Are you alright, Jay?"

"Yeah- I- I'm good, thanks," he says quickly, ignoring the way his breathing keeps speeding up. FSM, not this-

Not for the first time, the world suddenly becomes too loud - too much. Every little thing, from trying to breathe properly or even walk- feels insurmountable, because, gosh, oh gosh, it's going to come crashing down if he even moves-

The memory starts off the same as it always does.

Rubble strewn over the temple grounds, his friends literally reduced to nothing more than statues. A shot that hit the mark perfectly, but perfectly shattered his world in the process.

A poison-splattered dress, a terrifying realization.

Her well-aimed joke, but one that never fails to sting every time. Gosh, why hadn't they just allowed her to join their team in the first place? Maybe they could've prevented this- this- whole situation, if they hadn't been so freaking egotistical-

And, again, he's overwhelmed by the sheer sense of helplessness, all his power and training and skills completely useless to one of the people he cared most about. FSM, if only I hadn't used my first w-request so carelessly! If only I'd been able to escape- or, or if only I'd been able to assemble the team faster! If only-

Despite being in what must've been unimaginable pain, she offers a strained smile - a sweet gesture that, ironically, feels like she's poisoning him, because- because FSM, this is all so wrong, it wasn't supposed to end like this-

He watches with horror as her eyes dull and she stills in his arms.

She's gone, FSM, she's gone and it's all my fault-

"Jay?" a voice asks, concern evident in their tone. Distantly, he registers that he's having a breakdown in front of one of his best friends - one of the things he'd been trying really hard to avoid.

Dang it.

"I-" he tries to say, but, great, he's breathing too fast to even get the stupid words out.

"Breathe in for four seconds," Zane says, softly.

Four seconds? Time has no meaning right now, narrowed down to, like - falling down a chasm, terrified of what's at the bottom, except the fear's all around, this- this... foreboding thing of his mind that keeps yelling that he needs to run, or fight, but he can't, can't-

Right. Four seconds.

You're okay, you're fine, no one's trying to hurt you or your friends. She's not dead.

But what if- what if they're being dragged out of this ship right now? What if it was all a dream, and she's dead anyway, because all of us were too stupid to come up with another plan, and none of us could even do anything when she-

After a little while, when he could breathe a little easier, and the fear didn't feel like it was slamming into him from every possible direction, he slowly opened his eyes. Shakily, he wiped a tear from his face - as if that would wipe away all the weeks that had, theoretically, never even freaking happened.

The sky comes back into focus - pinpricks of light against pitch black. 

How was he going to come up with some sorta explanation without... well, explaining everything?

Great.

My nerves are frayed, and I have to lie to a walking lie detector - what could possibly go wrong?

"Are you alright?" Zane asks, his brows creased in concern.

"Heh heh, yeah. Probably just too many video games," he replies quickly, laughter a bit strained.

"You were muttering to yourself," his friend replies quietly. Ugh, trust the way-too-observant-nindroid to call him out on the remains of his facade. "If you do not mind me asking, what was 'all your fault'? I am sure that it was probably a misunderstanding."

You're the one who misunderstands everything, he thinks wearily, ignoring the part of him that yearns to tell someone else about... well, everything that's happened because of that stupid teapot. He's not one to keep secrets by nature, and it's been taking a bigger toll of him than he'd thought it would. Is this how Nya felt when she was still the Samurai? "It's- it's nothing, probably just nonsense."

"Are you sure? You seem... quite worried about something."

Dang it, were his hands still shaking? He presses his fingernails into his palms, squeezing his eyes shut for a second.

He's talking to one of his best friends, FSM. Weren't friends able to tell each other anything?

"Do you think it's easier to forget? Better?"

He didn't even realize he'd asked a question until Zane's eyes widened in surprise.

A forest coated in snow, ice crystals dangling from the tree branches above their heads. Plenty of screaming - way too much, he reflects, couldn't they have been a bit nicer? It must've been pretty jarring to learn that you weren't human, or that your father had erased years of your life from your mind - in that weird underground treehouse. Those crazy tree monsters - and the realization that they all had much more power than they'd thought.

"N- nevermind," he stutters, fleetingly thinking of kicking the deck. "That's way too personal, you don't have to answer it-"

"I do not mind," Zane says, a bit sadly.

Oh.

Heck, his friend was way too nice.

They gaze up at the stars for a few minutes, not really seeing them - one drowning under the weight of too many secrets, the other, too many memories.

It's quiet - too quiet.

Ugh, he thinks, sighing, that sounds like something a low-budget horror movie would start with, cringey sound effects to match.

But the silence is a painful reminder of the days he'd spent tossing and turning in a cramped cell - nothing but his worries and the bruises on his leg from that stupid ball and chain keeping him awake.

He's been trying hard - maybe too hard - to avoid being alone, avoid being in a situation where they've gotta be quiet ever since then, because, dang it, his memories always seem to fill the silence, and they're always far more terrifying than they should be-

It's easier, in a way, to be mocked for his stupid jokes than it is to relive a single moment from those nightmarish few weeks.

Almost reflexively, he grasps for something to fill the quiet.

"Heh, this is a bit awkward. It's okay if you wanna leave-"

"I do not mind," Zane echoes, walking a bit closer. "It is not as if I need to sleep. But... I do not quite know what to think of your question."

There comes the answer - or a semblance of one at least, and it's the last thing he'd been expecting.

"You don't know?" he blurts out before he can even think of trying to filter the thought. Way to treat your friend who's been nothing but kind to you, Jay. "But you're- you're a nindroid! You know everything-"

"Pixal," his friend mutters softly, sighing, and the hurt, the fear, laced through the word makes something in his heart practically twist. He knows all too well what it feels like to be in that situation - even if, technically, it had never happened.

Then- "I wish that were true. But I suppose that my emotions make certain situations much more complicated than... than they need to be. Thus I cannot give my perspective on this - or, at least, without sounding quite conflicted."

"You know that you're allowed to be conflicted, right? Even the coolest Nindroids don't know everything."

"...Yes, I suppose so."

Jay frowns at the almost subconscious hesitation, eyebrows creasing in concern.

"Seriously," he starts earnestly. They're both leaning on one of the railings just above the deck now. "Just 'cause you're a nindroid doesn't mean that you've gotta chase some kind of perfection that doesn't even exist."

He doesn't miss how Zane's eyes widen in shock, their bright blue hue glowing a little brighter - and heck, if that doesn't hurt even more than the earlier realization.

"Besides - it's not like none of us haven't made mistakes before. Hate to go all Wu on ya, but they help us learn or some stupid thing like that. Even if the mistake is trying not to make 'em, you know?"

"Thank you," Zane replies, a tired smile on his face. "Even the most advanced tech is susceptible to error, I suppose."

They've all made lots of mistakes, heaven forbid if one of them is still agonizing over messing up over the crazy situations the universe constantly put them in. It's not like they were told they'd have to face more ancient evil armies than they could count, were they?

Maybe it's time to stop focusing on events that never even happened, and pay more attention to your friends. What's the point of being part of this team if you're always scared or selfish?

"Shut up," he mumbles, rubbing his temples. What's the point of fighting if your own brain is gonna fight you whenever it gets a chance? A few seconds later, he schools his face back into his default anxious grin. "Great, cause I- I- could use your advice on something." "Alright," comes the quiet reply, his friend seemingly lost in thought.

"What if you wanted to tell someone something, but you couldn't?"

His breathing starts to speed up again, but he grips the deck until his fingers are practically bruised, stark white against his tanned skin. Not this time-

"Is this what you were referring to earlier? An event that you blamed yourself for?" Zane asks, eyes flitting between the floor and the sky.

Dang it, way too observant as usual. He masks his surprise with a laugh, but the conversation definitely isn't going as planned and, oh gosh oh gosh, what if-

No, there's no way that any of them would even believe that. Besides - no one can remember stuff that they've forgotten, especially if magic's at play.

"Yeah, kinda," and he's surprised by how steady his voice sounds. It's not easy to even think about that- event, talking about it is a whole different thing. A much more difficult thing, but also - a bit, a little bit, easier. "I-" "Apologies for interrupting," his friend interjects. "I suppose that I have not been entirely honest with you." What?

"A few days ago, I discovered a number of deleted memory files buried deep within my code."

Just like that, his whole world tilts out from underneath him.

It takes every ounce of his strength to keep himself from falling into the abyss again.

Wait, what?

Has he really known for all this time? It's been weeks! Surely he would've said something? It can't be, it never even-

The rational part of his mind points out that he can remember every day of those few weeks. Well, he was the one to make the wish - magical logic is kinda stupid, but maybe that's why he had to remember it or something?

Well then, a small voice interjects, why was Nya cursed to remember everything too?

Of course, even the stupid magical logic doesn't even make sense to the one who caused this whole mess in the first place.

"They were almost entirely corrupted - scrambled in a way that I am not familiar with. However, I did realize that certain files bore dates that have not even occurred yet. I dismissed it as a problem with my code, however..."

Breathe, calm down, it's not like he was able to process them or anything-

We agreed that no one was supposed to know! What if they end up blaming us for keeping it a secret this long, or, or-

"I mean, they could've been-" he starts, but the way in which he's nervously twisting his fingers is a pretty clear indication that he's lying, dang it.

"So when you mentioned that you were unable to tell someone something - did you mean that it was because they had quite literally forgotten about it?"

Great. Fantastic. Of course the literal robot has pieced it together by now-

He squeezes his eyes shut for a minute, hoping that if he ignores the problem, maybe it'll go away.

Okay, fine, maybe he's trying to figure out a way to fix this whole mess. Doesn't mean that he's any closer to coming up with a solution, though.

"Er, yeah," he whispers, shoulders slumped, eyes still firmly shut. Because gosh, he doesn't want to - can't, can't - see the realization dawn that, yeah, he's lied to people he's known for years and years, even though they've all seen way too many times that secrets bring nothing but trouble-

"Well, then - I would say that you don't have to tell them," Zane replies, surprisingly... earnestly? That, or he's either too freaked out to understand the tone properly. Could be either.

He opens his eyes, hesitantly.

And it comes as a bit of a shock to find nothing but concern reflected in his friend's.

The almost persistent weight on his chest feels a little lighter now, like the sky isn't as quite so empty.

Well, it still kinda is. But that doesn't hold as much weight as he'd thought it did - not if one of his friends is willing to look past that; past the heaviness of holding up all those memories with nothing his single star, flickering in and out of the darkness, to try and light the unforgiving darkness of the sky.

"Why?" Jay asks, so quietly he can barely hear it himself. "Don't I owe it to them? Do you?"

"No. Definitely not," comes the reply, so full of conviction that he almost stumbles back. Why-

"My father..."

Oh- oh.

"thought it was better to spare me the pain of mourning him than for me to know who I was," Zane confesses, hesitantly. "Not that I disagree, necessarily. I just..."

He trails off, clutching the railing so hard that the wood almost snaps beneath his titanium fingers.

It takes Jay a little while to realize why - why exactly his friend, who has access to a wealth of knowledge and information, is grasping for an answer. Because- because, well, even if someone does something in your best interests - sometimes the choice isn't always up to them. Or maybe it is, but it was... difficult, to say the least, to let go of the fact that his parents had never told him the truth sooner. Not that he blames them, necessarily - it's not like they knew that his father would pass on before he'd even get the chance to meet him - but... it's confusing, and difficult, not to know why you were left at a junkyard as soon as you were born. Maybe if he'd known that sooner, he could've asked the one person who might've had answers - although it's not like hoping for the past to change will actually change it.

They don't even know that you know, a small voice at the back of his mind points out, and suddenly everything makes a lot more sense-

"You wanted a choice," he breathes, eyes widening. A choice - like one that he'd never been given, one that he stills struggles not to hold against two people who've always had his best interests at heart. Even if they did have the right to withhold that one thing, after all they've done for him - the 'what if's' still echo in his mind far more often than he'd like. "There's nothing wrong with that, even if it feels that way. I kinda get where you're coming from, dude, and it's... super confusing, but I'd be pretty mad if my memories were tampered with like that."

So would anyone, he realizes, heart sinking. Oh, great. Not helping-

"I- I suppose so?" Zane answers, but it sounds more like a question than a reply. "However, in the same vein, it would be unwise for you to give away your choice whilst you still have one." "But don't I owe it to everyone? You just said it, it's horrible to alter people's memories and I- I-" "Did we forget... whatever it was for a good reason? "I- I mean, I guess, but..." "Then you do not owe it to us to relive something that we do not even remember." The words should be a relief - and they kinda are. But some part of him really does want to explain the crazy alternate timeline, and everything that happened in it. It's just... really, really freaking difficult.

"What if- what if I wanted to, though?" Jay asks hysterically, running his hands through his hair in a frenzied sort of way. "And I still couldn't? I just, I-"

He cuts himself off with a bout of forced laughter.

Zane takes a moment to reply, the bright blue light in his eyes flickering - a small tell that he was thinking so deeply, his processors were literally sparking up a bit.

"You queried earlier if it was easier, or better, to forget. And while all situations are different, I suppose it is... well, subjective. What do you think?" Zane asks, softly.

Derailing the conversation a bit, but his friend's obviously smart enough to be leading up to something.

Sure, he'll go along with it.

"I mean, there are some things I'd rather forget, you know? I guess we all know what that feels like," Jay replies, the statement with oddly sad air to it. They're still kids, after all, and it gets a bit exhausting pretending that their superhero lives were all fun and games - when they'd just given him enough grey hair to last then lifetimes, and enough nightmares to keep him from ever getting the normal amount of sleep his mum always prattled on about.

Sleep, heh heh. Practically a foreign concept, now.

"And I know that stuff that happens, like shapes us or something - and Master Wu would probably go off on a whole ramble about why we learn from our mistakes or whatever," he laughs nervously, resisting the urge to just fall headfirst onto the deck of the stupid ship instead of continuing the conversation," and how 'our scars only make us stronger', crap like that, but I just-"

"I'm just really... tired of this," he confesses warily, shoulders slumped. "W- I remember so many horrible things, and I-" he breaks off, laughing bitterly. His voice takes on a sort of brittle quality, way too high pitched, "and I can't even talk about them, dude. If that's not the most pathetic thing ever, I dunno what is."

"It does not-"

"Don't say it," Jay mutters, rubbing his temples. "I know, I know, my feelings aren't pathetic, they're always valid, whatever, spare me the lecture-"

"That is not what I was going to say," Zane replies gently. "It just seems that you have answered your own question."

"Gee, which one?"

"I do not know how much helpful assistance I can provide in this situation, but it is understandable to wish certain events had never occurred. However, seeing as we cannot change the past, it seems unwise to dwell on said events if you can avoid it."

Jay stiffens, clamping a shaky hand over his mouth. Something seems to press down even harder on his chest, a heavy sort of weight that causes his breathing to speed up again. Don't say it don't say it there's no reason to warn them this time-

"If you would like to tell any of us about something, of course you are welcome to. It does not to be the whole story, after all. Just make sure that it is the decision you choose, not one you choose because of what you think how it will affect others," Zane finishes quietly, ducking his head as if he's embarrassed.

The stars are still white-hot, burning away some million miles above them.

"Thanks," he says, and puts his hand softly on Zane's shoulder. "I mean, I know - that all makes sense, I guess. It's just- I-"

"You want to?"

"Yeah," Jay starts, sighing, "I do. It's just- it's not just my choice. And I'm pretty much dying already right now, so, as fantastic as making it all worse sounds, hard pass."

Oops, maybe he shouldn't have said that last bit. They'd agreed not to tell anyone about it - even this conversation was cutting it way too close. It wasn't impossible for them to put everything together - they were a pretty smart group, after all, even without their resident inventor and engineer - and Jay didn't really know what he'd think if they did. Fearful? Relieved? Angry?

"That does... not sound great? Dying certainly does not seem-"

"It's called sarcasm, Zane."

"Oh- yes. My memory now accesses the fact that people often speak in that manner. It does seem a bit counterproductive, though. Why not just say what you mean?"

"Shut it, you have no clue how integral to my life it is," Jay replies with a halfhearted grin.

A few seconds later, he remembers something his friend had mentioned earlier, and the grin disappears.

"You know that you can talk to us if you're not happy, right?" he asks, earnestly. Sure, it's not like he could always do that, considering, well, a stupid djin and even stupider magic, but it's not like he needs to. It's- well- he'll be okay, probably. Maybe. Kinda.

Zane's eyes blink on and off again, blue fading in and out. "I... I suppose that I was not quite aware of that."

Okay, they've screwed up way too many times, but this... this is pretty bad. Dang it, how long does it take for them to throw self-preservation instincts at their friend before he freaking- picks them up or something?

"However, will it not hurt those who have experienced the same unfortunate events?"

Dude, not the best question to ask someone wondering the exact same thing-

"It's been... uh, nice, kind of, talking to you. So- I don't think so, and I'm pretty sure someone would say so if it did. Besides, don't we talk about our adventures all the time? It'd probably be better if we... uh, well- heh heh, nothing."

"If we talked about the less than positive elements of them? Perhaps, but I still-"

Maybe it's the fact Zane has always tried to be there for him, or maybe he's too sleep deprived to care anymore, but this is a way too familiar situation and-

Well, not ignoring the issue would be a start.

"Sorry to interrupt, but we're family, Zane. We care about each other. And, gosh, that means that we care about you too. Memories are stupid and annoying sometimes, but we have to make good ones too, right? To block out the bad ones a bit, I guess? Kinda, at least."

They both look away from the stars now, grappling for something else to say.

In the end, they leave it be with a hug and a fondly exasperated warning about sleeping, if you happen to need it.

After all, they're family. They don't have to be perfect, or tell each other everything - even if it does take them a long time to realize that, and an even longer time remembering it.

---

The next time Jay startles awake from a nightmare, the sky is still empty - painfully so, like an ache that simmers beneath the surface even when it's not able to be seen.

The hue, though, is a little lighter.

Just a little - the all-encompassing darkness of it is now a navy sort of blue, his star shining a little bit brighter.

It's still not sunrise, not even close - but he'll take it. AN: the ‘sky’ mentioned at the start and end is a stupid metaphor that i somehow ended up liking too much to trash, it’s ‘empty’ because he hasn’t told anyone about the timeline, and Nya’s not included because they never had a chance to tell each other everything significant or even talked about it or processed it on screen. so yeah! if you read this,,, not great thing, can i send you a hug or good vibes or smth? tyy🥺