#i used to be someone who argued on social media but honestly what's the point because you are never going to change someone's worldview

[mysticsapphicsblog]

why must people bicker over whether your existence is more valid than another - don't we have enough shit to be dealing with in the world that we don't need to argue online with people we've never met???

[f1girliefics]

Too Far

Mick Schumacher x Reader

Summary: When dating him causes rage in some fans, they forget where the line is.

When the news of Mick and you dating came out, you expected the rumours, you were ready for the hate and the comments.

What you weren’t ready for is the crazy fans who decided to harass you in public.

It started off with small things.

When you went shopping, things were missing from your cart. Then people started to push you. You thought it was by mistake but then you realized, it was all a game to them.

Videos on TikTok started to go around, it was almost like a challenge to them.

Who could push you more?

Mick mentioned to you that it wasn’t okay and you didn’t have to deal with the harassment, but you brushed it off.

“Don’t worry, it will die down after a while. You know how people are, they will move on to the next thing.”

He knew you were right. 

But then, it got out of hand. So much so that you fell and got injured.

The video went viral before you could even get some help.

You were rushed to a hospital with a broken ankle and twisted wrist.

Your boyfriend called you, furious. 

“This has to stop!” he texted. “I’m on my way, almost there.” came another text, then. “I’m so sorry that this happened. I love you!” 

Before you could text back, the door opened and he came in.

“How are you feeling?” he asked as he saw the cast on your leg and the wrap on your arm.

“I’m good. The idiots pushed me on a slippery floor and as I fell my leg got stuck under the shelf and I fell on my wrist. How I can press charges?”

“I saw the video, Lando sent it to me. It’s going viral and the public opinion is with you. Everyone’s saying how that is just taking it too far and how they should be ashamed. Someone even found out the name of the girls and even after they took off the video, someone reported them.” he let out a long sigh. “I was so worried about you. I’m glad you are safe.”

“I agree, this has gone too far. Light pushing I can handle but breaking my leg… too much. Thank you.” you smiled at him and pulled him in for a short kiss before the doctor came and let you leave.

You arrived home and ate something while Mick was on his phone.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m making a post. I need to set the boundaries and I can’t just let this one go.”

“I understand and agree… just be… kinda nice.” you said as he nodded and continued typing.

‘My Dear Fans,

I’m sure many of you are aware of what happened today. I kept silent out of respect for my girlfriend, but I can no longer do so. 

She got seriously hurt today and I’m honestly surprised it didn’t happen before.

I do appreciate all my fans but I think we all can agree that this is seriously not okay.

I decided to take a break from social media and spend my time with my girlfriend as now she will need someone to help her with tasks.

I hope we all can learn from this.’

You gave Mick a nod and he posted it.

He spent the entire day helping you with anything. He ordered food and even offered to help you eat.

“My other hand is just fine!”

“But I want to help.” he argued and you couldn’t help but laugh.

He wanted you to smile and laugh to forget everything that happened.

But later that night, while he was sleeping, your mind began to wonder.

All your insecurities and fears came to the surface. 

You knew you shouldn’t blame yourself. But you were angry that you let things get out of hand and it got to this point.

You were used to the interviewers, the inappropriate questions, and people shouting at you.

But this was a new low.

You were just happy to have Mick by your side.

DO NOT STEAL, REPOST OR TRANSLATE ANY OF MY WORKS  

[alittlebitofloveliness]

Stevepop social media au is actually such a cool idea, I crave to hear more of your thoughts on it

Hi anon! This is for you, @battleslippers and @raindrvq who all wanted more stevepop social media au. I will warn you, I got a little carried away.

Stevepop Social Media Au:

-The TikTok thing wasn’t supposed to be a success, Soda honestly just started it for fun but he gains a following pretty quick. Part of its his pretty face and part of it’s his demeanour- he is magnetic after all

-Most of his videos are either him doing stupid internet challenges and failing miserably or kind of just rambling into the camera like its some sort of video diary

-The first video that went sort of viral was just him trying and failing to twerk. The footage itself is kind of shaky because whoever is filming is laughing so hard.

-Despite how much he loves internet challenges he refuses to try any that involve a lot of waste. To him the idea of wasting a bunch of food or anything really is absurd

-The gang ends up in a lot of his videos, either just in glimpses when he’s walking around filming himself, or in the background when he’s trying challenges or whatever. Like, TikTok is fun for him but everyone else just kind of leaves him to it, so sometimes Ponyboy, Johnny, and Dal will be in the background playing poker or video games, or Darry will come home from work, or you’ll see Two-bit smoking a cigarette and his audience is so intrigued by them because it makes Soda seem so human.

-A lot of his content involves him pranking Darry simply because of how confused Darry gets before he figures out what’s going on

-In the background of almost every video you can hear someone laughing at him or sometimes heckling. It distracts Soda every time and his face visibly lights up when he turns away from the camera and argues back

-His comment section speculates so hard about who the voice is. Some people think its Two-bit or Dallas until someone else points out that they’re visible in the background of some videos and the voice is still present when they're not talking, and thus clearly not coming from either of them. The speculation gets to the point that his whole comment section is just people wondering about who the voice belongs to

-Soda eventually adresses it with one offhand sentence: “oh that’s just Stevie, he doesn’t like TikTok” 

-The comments section goes wild. Now they have a name to go with the offscreen voice, but they still don’t have a face. 

-It kind of gets to the point where his following is more invested in analysing every instance of hearing Steve and trying to catch a glimpse of him than they are in Soda’s actual content

-Of course, the close analysis leads to people noticing just how…flirty some of Steve and Soda’s banter is and the fanbase is suddenly split. Some people think Soda can’t possibly be gay and the others are highly convinced Soda and Steve are a couple and Soda’s just trying to keep their relationship on the down low

-Of course, the many many nicknames and the way Soda’s eyes light up whenever he looks off camera really don’t help speculation

-…There’s also the video where Ponyboy and Johnny came in when he was filming by himself and Ponyboy started rubbing his eyes and going “holy shit, is that…Soda without Steve? Are my eyes deceiving me?” “Shut up Pony, don’t joke about that, clearly he’s grieving the loss of his other half- since death is the only thing that could separate those codependent idiots for more than five minutes.” “SHUT UP you two I’m trying to film a video” “of what, you sucking ass at dancing?” “GO AWAY!”

-…and then there’s the video where Soda’s doing some sort of workout routine and ends up shirtless and Steve’s voice gets about an octave deeper even when he teases Soda seemingly like normal

-The comments section LOSES it at that one.

-Ponyboy and Johnny make their own TikTok account and they use it solely to make fun of Soda’s (and by extension Steve). Actual dialogue from one of their videos has Pony in a shitty blond wig going “internet people stop saying me and my buddy Steve are together. It’s super normal to make out with your guy best friend, we’re just guys being dudes”. Another has Johnny (wearing a name tag with Steve written on it) watching Ponyboy do jumping jacks and saying “if you’re not ogling your best friend while he works out, what are you doing? Pretending you’re not turned on? Get real”

-Ponyboy and Johnny’s channel is only live for a week before its mysteriously deleted. They’re also both sporting a few bruises when they’re spotted in the background of Soda’s latest video

-Unfortunately, Pony and Johnny’s account caused the speculation to get even worse. No matter what Soda posts, the comments section is just speculation about him and Steve.

-Surprisingly, it’s Steve who gets fed up one day when Soda is doing a TikTok live and getting visibly annoyed at all the comments and speculation. He steps into frame, kisses Soda soundly on the mouth and turns to the camera. “Hey. I’m Steve. I hate TikTok, I’m Soda’s best friend, and as of last week, his boyfriend. Now respectfully, shut the fuck up talking about me.”

-The comment section loses it’s shit but eventually goes back to simply commenting on Soda’s content once it becomes clear Steve isn’t going to make another appearance and Soda isn’t going to talk about it.

-The end :)

[frazzledsoul]

Honestly, I'm not going to devote too much space here to it, because no one wants to hear me ramble about it. I've really let the fandom on here poison something I once enjoyed, and if there's one thing I do treasure from AYITL, it's what a wonderful person Jess Mariano turned out to be.

However, I'm really sick and tired of seeing every positive characteristic from the latter years of that show be twisted into evidence that Jess is mentally ill, disturbed, or unable to function as an adult. The fact that his body was used as evidence against him was really upsetting to me, even more than when people in here were arguing that the fact that he consoles Luke over his relationship difficulties was proof that he was completely useless at romantic relationships and didn't see the point in participating in them. Neither of these things indicated whatsoever that there was anything wrong with Jess and in fact they were seen as an indication of his good nature and how well adjusted he was an adult.....but they were used against him anyway, because he wasn't allowed to be seen as an inherently good person. Even the most innocuous thing about him is twisted into an argument that he's disturbed.

And on top of that? The body shaming y'all engaged in today was GROSS. That's a real person's physique you're talking about, and yet you still felt it was okay to post comment after comment about how ugly and unattractive he was to you, how ridiculous you thought it was that anyone would find him attractive, how you wished the costumer would cover him up so you didn't have to see him look that way. If someone dissected Alexis or Lauren or Melissa's appearance this way I bet you'd condemn it as out of line, but because it's Milo it's perfectly okay to talk about him this way.

It doesn't sound that different than what happened to Ewan Mitchell, who starved and trained for at least weeks to get his body in shape for those two full-frontal nude scenes in House of the Dragon, only to be slammed across all of social media as ugly and disgusting and compared to Dobby the Elf. At least in that case, Ewan's fans condemned the cruelty: here, Milo's fans are openly engaging in it. I just don't understand.

Look, I know how strongly fans feel about the morality play here. Rory is always the angel who can do no wrong whose sins are always justified: Jess is the bad boy who is perpetually morally inferior to her, and even his good qualities are interpreted as flaws. It's fine, whatever: believe what you want.

However, you don't need to body shame a real person to make that argument, and you don't need to argue that anyone who engages in a healthy lifestyle does so because they are mentally ill.

[probablytrapped]

There's been an ongoing debate for years between users on AO3 about whether or not people should be allowed to add works from other authors to collections.

Generally this debate is now over with the the default for a work to not allow others to add it to anything, meaning less and less works are available to add, which I really do think it is a shame. I understand the the general danger of losing fics since whoever was running the collection could make the works all anonymous, and the original author couldn't undo. That's pretty scary and annoying. Not sure exactly the the mechanics, but in general the issue stems from the fact collections were not designed for what users were ending up using it for.

Some argue that this is what the Bookmarks function is supposed to be, but I disagree. Bookmarks, while they can be either public or private, don't have the same social or organization power that collections had. (And if I'm remembering correctly, have a slightly stunted filter..)

Any reader could see what collection a work had been added to...And this is a bit of bad thing honestly, some fics have been added to SO many collections that it sometimes is a larger block than the actual tags. But that doesn't change the fact that it was a user built "what to read next" function.

I'm not suggesting that that's something that AO3 needs, I DO believe that a huge part of reading fanfiction is learning to fucking dig and search for what you want. But, user curated lists of recommendations? I don't see the harm in that. If often times is just a smaller pool to dive into rather than all of a specific tag or series.

Bookmarks aren't that easily delved into. Usually you might find an author you like and check out their bookmarks, but it isn't quite work the same as reading a specific fic and then seeing it's part of a collection called "NaruSasu timetravel fics I LOVE". Someone else also really loved that story! and here are some other works that they thought were similar! how nice!

If we COULD keep the collection system open and in use as it was or create something similar, I do think it would need some improvements:

Default number of viewable collections or rec lists should be capped at like 10, and then there's either a toggle to show more or a link to a new page with all the collections the fic is added to.

The ability to hide the collections list entirely from readers. It'll still be in the index page or something, but ultimately if authors don't want people redirecting to other things from their story....I get that.

I don't really love the idea of authors being able to remove their stories from a list, but that might be something to keep people appeased. But I don't think people should be able to opt out?? If there's no harm created by adding to a list I really don't see the point. Of course maybe someone starts a "Trash fic that should DIE!" kinda thing....anyway it's complicated

Being able to subscribe to a collection who be rad as hell. This unfortunately feeds into the social media aspect that I think AO3 tries to avoid, so I'm not sure if that would go over well. Maybe the people who run the collections can't have their accounts public on the collection page? dunno

And to spice things up, some general OTHER upgrades to AO3:

can i PLEASE get some easy to read indicator on a fic in the search level that i've read it before? There are so many extensions I've used over the years for this, but most of them break after a certain point...But I just need a "you've given kudos" or "you're subscribed" or SOMETHING. I don't mind rereading fics, but I don't love being Gandalf half the time!

In the same vein as above....just a personal status tracker button. Maybe it's visible on the front end, but anything really to indicate if it's "TBR", "Reading", "Finished", or "DNF". The "DNF" is kinda important to me. Since if I mark it, that means I gave up for A REASON. This should all be private an not visible to authors or anyone else.

I would like to see all the fics I've given a Kudos to. please.

[aspd-culture]

aspd culture is : goes into the aspd tag. seems someone claiming house md, (guy whos dxd aspd in the show im pretty sure lol) is actually hyperempathic instead of lacking it and avoids patients due to too much empathy. like ok just avoid the whole boundary pushing / whatever else ok. alright thats enough of that *turns off internet* ive had enough of prosocials damn why do they think the only aspd symptom ever is lack of empathy. god

The amount of people who take *any* ASPD rep - including but not limited to House, this was also EXTREMELY common with Wednesday Addams, who is also diagnosed with ASPD in the show Wednesday - and call it "hyperempathetic autism" is... disgusting honestly. I'm autistic too and I get the desire to have representation from non-infantalized characters, I do, but the erasure of ASPD from the very few sources who intentionally make ASPD representation is not how we handle that.

And, as you mentioned, many people intentionally overlook, ignore, or try to explain away any "bad" behavior (see also: ASPD symptoms) because it pushes against their point.

People are just... so desperate to not admit that anyone they like had ASPD that they will directly ignore and speak over the media's direct acknowledgement of ASPD just so they can see us as monsters and still have permission to like that character.

PSA to prosocials, especially those with no other experience with cluster b treatment:

When the therapist/psychologist/psychiatrist says the character "has antisocial traits" or "is antisocial", that's not a descriptor, nor does it mean they don't like people/avoid interaction with people. That's a medical professional using a different model of discussing a diagnosis with the patient by rephrasing it without the disorder attached. This is super common with ASPD because many pwASPD who are forced into treatment - like House and Wednesday - are resistant to admitting something is "wrong with them", so the professional will use the inital descriptor instead of the entire disorder name. In this case it's "antisocial" with the words personality disorder removed. It's also common to see in media happening for people with BPD, with the character being referred to as "having borderline traits" or "being borderline".

If the professional was referring to them or their traits as "asocial", then it would mean what you guys think it does - they avoid interaction, have a general dislike of socializing/social situations, and generally self-isolate. Antisocial and asocial are not the same, and while you can argue that anyone else in a show calling someone antisocial won't know the difference, their mental health professionals do. Evidently, House and the rest of the cast are also very aware in-canon of mental health, going by the DID episode which was done amazingly well imo. If House knows about Dissociative Identity Disorder, I assure you ASPD is not off of his radar. ASPD is significantly more prevalent than DID, with up to 4% of the US population having ASPD compared to 1% of the population having DID. While there is issues with under-diagnosis, those issues are the case with both disorders, so it's likely that the difference made by that would at most only slightly close the gap between the two. House also researches things purely based on the existence of stigma and/or lack of public knowledge on the subject, and frequently attempts to find out why he thinks and acts the way he does behind the scenes. If you google his symptoms, ASPD would be at least one of the things that comes up. So again, he is not misusing antisocial.

In fact, no one on House, MD would say antisocial where they meant asocial, as they are versed in psychology as a part of dealing with complex cases that have failed repeatedly to be diagnosed. That is shown constantly throughout the show. If you chose 3 episodes at random, I'm willing to bet at least one would show their experience in psychology as one of the team pushes the "it's just mental illness" angle.

All of this is to say that fuck prosocials endless refusal to actually acknowledge ASPD, both in likeable and notably unlikable characters!! Many of them HATE House, yet still can't admit he has ASPD. It's giving ableist, because it is ableist.

Plain text below the cut:

The amount of people who take *any* ASPD rep - including but not limited to House, this was also EXTREMELY common with Wednesday Addams, who is also diagnosed with ASPD in the show Wednesday - and call it "hyperempathetic autism" is... disgusting honestly. I'm autistic too and I get the desire to have representation from non-infantalized characters, I do, but the erasure of ASPD from the very few sources who intentionally make ASPD representation is not how we handle that.

And, as you mentioned, many people intentionally overlook, ignore, or try to explain away any "bad" behavior (see also: ASPD symptoms) because it pushes against their point.

People are just... so desperate to not admit that anyone they like had ASPD that they will directly ignore and speak over the media's direct acknowledgement of ASPD just so they can see us as monsters and still have permission to like that character.

PSA to prosocials, especially those with no other experience with cluster b treatment:

When the therapist/psychologist/psychiatrist says the character "has antisocial traits" or "is antisocial", that's not a descriptor, nor does it mean they don't like people/avoid interaction with people. That's a medical professional using a different model of discussing a diagnosis with the patient by rephrasing it without the disorder attached. This is super common with ASPD because many pwASPD who are forced into treatment - like House and Wednesday - are resistant to admitting something is "wrong with them", so the professional will use the inital descriptor instead of the entire disorder name. In this case it's "antisocial" with the words personality disorder removed. It's also common to see in media happening for people with BPD, with the character being referred to as "having borderline traits" or "being borderline".

If the professional was referring to them or their traits as "asocial", then it would mean what you guys think it does - they avoid interaction, have a general dislike of socializing/social situations, and generally self-isolate. Antisocial and asocial are not the same, and while you can argue that anyone else in a show calling someone antisocial won't know the difference, their mental health professionals do. Evidently, House and the rest of the cast are also very aware in-canon of mental health, going by the DID episode which was done amazingly well imo. If House knows about Dissociative Identity Disorder, I assure you ASPD is not off of his radar. ASPD is significantly more prevalent than DID, with up to 4% of the US population having ASPD compared to 1% of the population having DID. While there is issues with under-diagnosis, those issues are the case with both disorders, so it's likely that the difference made by that would at most only slightly close the gap between the two. House also researches things purely based on the existence of stigma and/or lack of public knowledge on the subject, and frequently attempts to find out why he thinks and acts the way he does behind the scenes. If you google his symptoms, ASPD would be at least one of the things that comes up. So again, he is not misusing antisocial.

In fact, no one on House, MD would say antisocial where they meant asocial, as they are versed in psychology as a part of dealing with complex cases that have failed repeatedly to be diagnosed. That is shown constantly throughout the show. If you chose 3 episodes at random, I'm willing to bet at least one would show their experience in psychology as one of the team pushes the "it's just mental illness" angle.

All of this is to say that fuck prosocials endless refusal to actually acknowledge ASPD, both in likeable and notably unlikable characters!! Many of them HATE House, yet still can't admit he has ASPD. It's giving ableist, because it is ableist.

[cross-my-heartt]

Listen...

Y'all I watched the episodes again today and... I have some thoughts regarding the elephant in the room.

Right off the bat, no, I still don't think Tech is dead. If you go to the reaction post I made right after I watched the episodes the first time, you'll see I'm not worried about him being dead at all (which explains the enthusiastic tone of it).

I wondered whether all the 'Tech's not dead' theories I've read here aren't clouding my judgement this time but I don't think that's the case.

In fact, I watched the episodes with my parents and the moment they showed the final scene with Omega on Tantiss, the one where she's looking around the lab and it's clear she's about to see someone she knows, my dad was like 'oh, Tech must be here'. So even from a casual viewer's pov, it doesn't look like our favorite genius is dead at all.

The very tone of the episode didn't suggest it either, it was just a bit too… rushed. Even if they gave his sacrifice the right respect in the moment, it doesn't feel like a character death moment with how things progress around it.

And here's the thing: I did have to hold back tears at some points but it wasn't where I thought it would be. I thought I'd fall apart when they lost Tech but it was in fact after that, when the team is trying to pick up the pieces after Omega wakes up.

So these episodes are meant to be emotional but the emotional impact, the moment you're given time to breathe, are when you sympathize with the people who're currently mourning Tech, not when you're supposed to mourn him.

We see closeups of their reactions, we see their feelings. We see Echo look at Tech's seat instead of getting a simple solo closeup of it. We see Hunter pick up his goggles, not a sad little lingering shot of them on the ground next to a battered body. All of it feels like the show is telling us yes, sympathize with these people, feel their pain, this is real for them... but not necessarily true overall.

The episode does a great job of conveying how the batch feels in those moments and you may argue that's a good way of making the audience grieve, a good way of conveying the gravity of the situation. But to me a character death is supposed to be a little bit more private. We're supposed to experience it for ourselves if it's meant to have any proper lasting impact. And yes, I know a lot of us are still shaken from it but remember: we're very attached to these characters and the show.

People like my dad however aren't as invested and for him, that didn't register as a character death. At all.

So if the writers play their cards right, they get our emotional response to what seems like a very plausible and dramatic character death while also not committing to it by giving any concrete evidence whatsoever.

As a result, those of us who sympathize with the batch or are invested in Tech's character will have the emotional response they're looking for (and our engagement on social media will boost the show's popularity, which is exactly what happened) while more casual viewers, like my dad, are presented with the mystery of 'hey what happened to Tech? oh, look it's Tantiss. is he on Tantiss? oh, not yet. wow I can't wait to find out'.

So honestly if this was the writers' plan all along... well played is all I can say.

[forkaround]

I have stopped watching DFF for about 2 episodes and here's why:

Non has some sort of mental illness. That we can all agree. AFAIK the show itself has not confirmed the MI he has, it's all be guessed by fans from the meds he takes. Now these meds can't be just a coincidence. Sammon is a doctor after all. She would know. So we can reliably say the meds are intentional and that leaves us with three diagnosis: MDD, Bipolar Disorder and Schizophrenia. Afaik the exact illness has not been confirmed. And the thing is - I've taken this medication.

I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder with psychotic features when I was 19/20. So when I say I know what that is like, Ich been knew.

Before I get to my main point I would like to take a second to talk about The Eclipse. Akk and Ayan both were on medication for Depression but during the entire run of the show they never used the word 'depression' in the English sub at least. Instead what they said was 'depressive disorder'. Depression is one of those words like gaslight which people have blown out of proportion and having a show use 'depressive disorder' breaks it away from Depression. To me that is people bts being aware of the social, current connotations, being aware of social media and being kind to someone suffering from a MI.

In DFF, Non tries to commit suicide with his medications at least twice. Let me say that again, he tried to commit SUICIDE with his medication at least twice! That is not kind, that is not careful. That is stigmatizing. That is a baked narrative about psychotic disorders playing out as is. And the most terrifying part is: no one notices. No one can tell that this is wrong. Instead people are happy making Non just a victim. Just a victim is how we are always seen. Just a mental illness is all we have always been.

And it sucks!

Especially when psychosis in these cases is usually a very negative self image, absolute paranoia, very high anxiety, and much more. Most psychotic people don't go around killing people and even hinting at that is so toxic and normalized it's scary. It's dangerous because it's normalized. Add to that: we don't see so much more of what his life is. Yeah we see some glimpses of PheeNon relationship but in that same episode it ends with Non cheating on Phee. Honestly the reasons don't matter.

As far as I've seen, Non is not a character who is written with care around the mental illness he has. And it can be argued it's because it's a horror story. I ask you: So what? so what if it's a horror story? Is it impossible to have empathy for someone with a psychotic disorder even for a second?

If they had never had the pills showing up I would have been happy with this show but they did. They willingly, intentionally played into the stereotypes about people with psychotic disorders. Used MI as a plot point without showing the other side. It hurts but more than that it's annoying. It's annoying because Sammon is a doctor. It's annoying because we know even doctors rarely understand psychotic disorders.

This may be just a horror show to many people but Non's life is very much reality for many of us who have psychotic disorders (or any MI that isn't empathized by the general populous.) It's a reminder that even when we are written by doctors, our lives are horror movies.

[kozykricket]

knight ramblings

alright so, im watching this video on how theres not only one knight, and going in im like. YEAYEA everyone is "the knight" for their own reason... and im only 3 minutes in and. well, the stuff talked about gets me thinking, and i pause at 3:27-ish and... i comment this: oh my god its gonna be the WILL of the knight is probably the only thing they know. she was GUESSING based off the knights ACTIONS of creating a dark fountain (and thus their will, their desire to delve into fiction) ...that they want more. that they desperately need even more escapism taken literally, this is a computer seeing someone reach out to them as a form of escapism and being like "this person WANTS to spend ALL of their lifetime enveloped in fiction." aka they must clearly want the world enveloped in darkness... heck maybe the will of the knight ends up... having the knights desires be given to the darkners, and their desire is . that theyre sick of the light world and the way it treats them. that they subconsciously DO want the roaring, even if they dont know its the roaring. they want more fantasy

and also... re-reading queens monologue during her fight... (also thanks to the video) soon the world will be covered in darkness... and then no one will have to suffer THATS OKAY YES I KNOW ITS VERY OBVIOUS WE ALREADY KNEW DELTARUNE WAS PLAYING WITH ESCAPISM AND FICTION BUT LIKE GOD "NO ONE WILL HAVE TO SUFFER" is SO on the nose how didnt i think of that its. when you just step back and look at the narrative as "this is toby tryna tell a story about how fiction can be great, but it can be dangerous to just get absorbed solely in the world of fiction." "also hey what if the fiction you get absorbed in... was sentient and actually believes you want or need more, to stop your suffering..." like honestly. thats a more innocent take on the messed up way tech companies design social media. like. oh, you need MORE distractions to be fed your way... so that you need not suffer. we will bring you all the comfort of never having to face the real world.

these are all just.. toys, games, and other things, that see our desire to escape from the real world using them... and who will gladly accept that role. but end up tryna take it too far when they try to fulfill our subconscious desires to stay enveloped in fiction. one can argue that since King doesn't believe in serving lightners, this falls apart... but still, maybe he... sees the knight as a Special lightner, and . thinks that the other lightners are those who dont want to "play" who just want to cast them all away. and THATS why hes against serving them. because he thinks if hes just a temporary escape for them (one to be thrown away when we're done with him, like a card game) ...then well, ofc he doesnt trust lightners. but someone who wants to just... not live in reality, and live in a world like the card kingdom forever? that'd be someone he'd appreciate, and gladly try to help. even if they didnt TELL him that they *wanted* that... maybe its just a thought they, again, subconsciously have and queen takes it in a more innocent way where shes just like oh dam yea lightners r all kinda sad arent they. hm. and hm im gonna continue watching the video, even though they're kinda getting onto a different point about the knight(s) involving how... the king and queen knew each other. hmmm. dont entirely agree? but i still think there are multiple knights, for plenty of reasons. i just think the "agenda to cover the world in darkness" and the name "roaring knight" just come from the will of a lightner who crave escapism. though ...admittedly THAT truly falls apart when you consider queen didnt know what the roaring was. yet still calls them the roaring knight. why would she call them that, unless they specifically called themselves the roaring knight? edit: upon further watching the video, i dont really agree with who they think the knights are exactly... the reasoning feels fairly off however yes alvin will definitely be making a fountain lol i do think its very plausible noelle was the knight in ch2!! if we ignore the uh, knight calling themselves the roaring knight.. but like, i think its REALLY funny to envision. noelle. doesnt know what a dark world even is. but shes just really determined to ... take a break from the stresses of home life. wants to stay at the library. and in some frustration at a question on her homework, she stabs her pencil onto the table. and opens up a fountain. and then berdly and noelle just both kinda forget wtf happened

[danandphilchronology]

Sebastian: Universe Defender + Psycho Boyfriend!

Sebastian: Universe Defender

Psycho Boyfriend!

Sebastian: Universe Defender

I’m going to ditch the wayback machine for a while. I might decide to take a peak and let you know what else was going on in the YouTube community, but I’m going to shift my focus to the content! We are starting today with a video uploaded in October of 2008 and based solely on the title and the little bit of the description I can see right off the bat, I am thinking that Phil is blessing me with another short film style video. 

I am interested to see what his content continuous to grow as while he is back at University! From what I know of the Phil Lore, he has graduated with is bachelors already (correct me if I’m wrong) and he is working on his Masters in Video Post Production at University of York. 

Something that I think is very interesting is at how quickly we (as a society of social media consumers) are so quick to discount content creators intelligence and smarts. Dan and Phil are perfect examples of this because of the fun and ditzy content they create. They are some very down to earth creators who are not afraid to connect with their audience, but, at the end of the day, they are some of the most well performing and creative content creators. Between the two of them they have a handful of films, a career on radio, three New York Times #1 best selling books, three world wide tours, and two original games. They were, and arguably still are, a social media empire all on their own, but the internet, and even their most loyal followers, discount their wit and smarts because silly little twink duo make booby joke. 

ANYWAY, we are here to react to a 15 year old AmazingPhil video, not write a novel on how poorly the internet treats it’s creators.

This immediately have me deja vu (which I think was the point considering the drink in the video is literally called deja vu), so I looked back in my notes to see if this was reminding me of something we had already watched OR if I am thinking of one of his more recent videos. I didn’t find anything blaringly obvious, so I am going to make a mental note to keep an eye out for anything like this in the future. The closest think I could find was Jonathan and Mary Beth Argue with the sprite, but… it is not the same thing. Someone needs to really tell Phil not to take things from Stangers, especially those in long trench coats with suspiciously packaged sodas. This video, while short, is actually such a fun and creative idea about timeloops and what could be the pointlessness in attempting to travel back in time to stop something from happening. Honestly, such a fun video. Would watch again. 

Total Watch Time 27m 12s

Psycho Boyfrined!

I am immediately interested based solely on the title because I am disgusting. That is, honestly, the only reason. I love looking back at older videos and overanalyzing moments in order to say things like “omg was that a soft gay?”, and I used to feel back about it until Dan and Phil reacted to all the PINOF videos, and now I feel like I have been allowed. Anyway this video is less than a minute, so I don’t expect to get much out of it, but it has 1.3 million views, so maybe its worth the watch.

… Phil is so clearly attracted to vampires that it is uncomfortable. This video has the same energy as his newest AITA. Like “who cares if he got hit by a car. He is already at the hospital” and “she didn’t die or anything and I get the day off”. Phil really is Mr. Silver Lining. This was actually crazy and I don’t even know what else to say about it…

Total Watch Time 27m 51s

[alltheotherblogs]

The recent trends I've been seeing of "Cross-universe" matchups and why making two characters from different worlds fight doesn't make any sense.

You've probably seen them too, on YouTube and in random social media posts. Maybe it's just me. Regardless the sudden influx of "Misc fictional character V.s. character from other fictional world." or even "Misc fictional character V.s. EVERY character from other fictional world." I've even seen some people being really really stupid regarding Jujutsu Kaisen. JJK is the most recent addition to the "The Fans are Idiots" club of anime and manga. Of course, we all know it's just because it's particularly popular. Regardless, pretending like Sukuna can defeat anyone from JJBA is delusional. (I wonder if anyone else has seen that video, lol.)

I'm gonna set this up before I dive in. First, think about it, JJBA doesn't have Cursed Energy, or domains. One could argue abilities like Za Warudo and King Crimson are Domain expansions. But, that isn't what those are, they are Stand Abilities. Manifestations of a fighting spirit and potentially even some kind of sentient disease. Depending on which JJBA universe we're talking, Sukuna honestly gets beat in Part 2 JJBA, and if we're talking Universe 2, he gets beat in every single part. Sukuna can't even react and move as fast as Joseph, and he isn't as smart, and if he is IN THE JJBA UNIVERSE, HE CAN'T USE CURSED ENERGY!!! Of course these absurd arguments try to insert whatever power into each universe disregarding what that would mean. These people blatantly ignore basic rules to hypotheticals. If your opponent has a power, so do you.

So, that's point #1, universes do not automatically share special abilities like Cursed Energy or Stands. While Stands are either a disease or a biblical miracle, only one of those is technically transferable across universes, and Stands obviously use some form of magical not physics based ability. Like, can you imagine ANYONE in JJK against Za Hando? Yeah, no, they all fucking lose in a fair fight. Za Hando is way too fast, and he just REMOVES space and time. The Hand has the potential to be King Crimson on steroids combined with The world. Regardless, I'll get to point #2. Can you imagine pairing up anyone from JJK or JJBA against normal ass people? That's why JJBA V.s. things like IPPO, BAKI, or Kengan makes no sense either. You have to nerf or buff someone. Regardless, I am actually interested in what Baki, Ippo, and Kengan's stands would be... Holy shit. That's a great hypothetical idea. Seriously though, think about it. When even the physics between each world change so dramatically, making two people fight who aren't remotely the same TYPE of combatants, is just absurdly dumb. Think about if any Baki character trained JUST AS HARD in the DBZ universe. Baki characters would be godlike powerhouses in DBZ with near infinite Ki energy and would even invent their own techniques. If you are taking a character, their training should be what transfers, not their power. Think about the sheer WIPES which Goku has in every univers-... Oh wait, no, even with all his powers Goku loses to people like Kenichi. The powers of people like Kenichi aren't BASED on physics, they are based on stands. And so, Echoes making Goku heavy would work regardless of how strong he was. See what I mean? People ALSO just assume how things work, how everything functions, despite not actually knowing the full extent of anyone's power. Sure, once made heavy, Goku could just unleash Ki to explode Kenichi with his damn mind. Well, maybe, honestly probably not. Imagine the amount of effort it would even take to TRY and overcome Echoes power? Too much concentration to do anything else. Kira has to use abilities with preset outcomes just to overcome other enemy stands. That is what makes Kira deadly, his intellect and planning. Not his destructive power. Goku wouldn't be able to unleash Ki, out of morals, out of lack of concentration, so on. See how these matchups immediately become unfair? Goku can't do anything, Kenichi is stuck making Goku heavy. That is why it makes no sense to pit up two fighters of different power types against each other.

Point #3 is revolving around points #1 and #2, powers do not automatically carry over, and if they do vice versa, physics and laws of other universes don't carry over, and if they do, vice versa. Think of it like "Every action has an equal and opposite reaction." If Goku got strong by training, then what happens to Baki? If Jotaro gets a stand, then what happens to Gon? If Yuji Itadori V.s. Naruto...? Then what? That's why it isn't "Who wins?" It's, "Well what happens?" And that's what people gloss over immediately. If their worlds merge, powers come together as one, Jotaro is now a world destroying threat, Killua is faster than ultra instinct, Naruto can imbue all his techniques with Cursed Energy, and Yuji can use a fucking stand. It just makes no damn sense and you go back and forth making logical rules based on something which isn't logical. There are some match ups which seem fair at first, which just aren't because world rules don't apply. They can't magically apply some rules and not others. It's all or nothing, not just some things in an unfair and unbalanced way. Cross Universe matchups aren't just a "smash brothers tournament" those characters are balanced to fit the universe, otherwise Kirby would just eat sephiroth and kill the entire roster in one hit. But, instead of making a fair balanced fight and calculating who beats who on a Rock Paper Scissors mentality of skill, we just throw up numbers like we magically know what each character is capable of, when most of the people doing these hypotheticals DON'T KNOW THE ACTUAL ABILITIES OF THE CHARACTERS! That's just the worst part to me, is people who blatantly ignore information. They just don't care, that's the fact of the matter. They are content farming.

Obviously I'm not policing another persons hobbies. It's your fantasy, you do whatever you want with it. But I just want you all to know who is biased and who is doing it very very very VERY wrong. If you do cross universe matchups, you need to factor in what actually crosses universes, cause not everything does.

In writing, I stay away from these CUM's, "Cross universe matches." Because, it's dumb. I think it's dumb, I know it's dumb, I just told you why it's dumb. But if I did a CUM, here is how... Let's try to take two characters that actually make sense to matchup, and we'll do a run through of what each character would be like in each world. Baki the Grappler, the ultimate force of will, constantly ascending the ladder and proving his inhuman abilities every single day to those around him. While there are some minor lies sprinkled throughout Baki, the universe is largely kept realistic and grounded. What if Baki was sent to the JJBA Universe? Well, right off the bat it's obvious that he's just one of those people who naturally develops a stand. These people are rare, but it does happen in the show. Some people just... Get them. Baki's sheer force of will would probably force his into existence, regardless of which timeline he is a part of. Who do you match Baki up against? For me, personally Jotaro just doesn't train hard enough to be a fair fight for Baki. Someone more like Dio, whose constantly practicing his timestop to extend its duration. Giorno, who is working, learning, practicing, honing his abilities to become what he knows he needs to be. Johnny (Part 7) who risks life limb and everything else he has, because he just MUST! Those are characters with strength of will parallel to Baki. Now, what universe do we put them in? Obviously, Baki beats everyone besides maybe Dio. Dio is the only one I can imagine putting up a fair fight at a similar age so long as he still has his part 3 mentality. Put them into a Kengan style anything goes fight, and it'd be a blast to watch! Now, you put Baki back into the Jojoverse, and it's not so obvious... What would Baki's stand even be? Baki is someone who wants selfishly to become the strongest. It's in his DNA. Baki would have a stand that reflects himself, mirrors his ever pushing desires. Something that can only go one way, and that way is forward, kind of like a train. I think Baki would have a brawler type stand which works in conjunction with his own fighting style, rather than letting his stand do all the work, Baki would tag-team with himself, sort of. Delivering impressive combos to his opponents and widdling them down till they can't fight any longer. Aiming to beat them in a fair contest of strength. This is why Baki wouldn't necessarily have an ability like Timestop, rather he'd probably have an ability like Crazy Monsters. A transformation and or buff to him and his stands physical abilities. This makes him a close fight for anyone which doesn't have some sort of cheating power, and since he is a similar stand to Star Platinum and The World, he could probably learn their abilities like Jotaro supposedly did... And let's not forget, Baki's secret true ability is exactly that. Baki learned from others, took what worked for them and made it work for himself. Baki's stand ability would be to rapidly learn and repurpose. Does he see Star Platinum stretch? Well, Baki will teach his stand to stretch. Does Dio stop time? Welp, time to painstakingly train my reflexes till I can do something akin to that. King Crimson erase ten seconds? Don't mind if I do. Baki would be this ever gobbling learning sponge which never ceases to develop new techniques based on other stands. And he'd probably never realize how unique this ability of his actually IS. If baki was left to his own devices, undefeated, his stand would attain Heaven, just like Pucchi.

I think this is what makes Baki a threat. His desire to keep going no matter what. Which causes this to be an unfair match no matter what world you put him in. If we actually transfer the character themself to the world, the CUM works. But, if we just take Baki, and take Jotaro... Yeah, it's just boring. I guess the fun for these people comes from calculating "ooh what does this mean for these characters" but they don't actually take everything into account, just like I said before. If Sukuna just fights anyone from Jojo, he loses the second Joseph steps up to the plate. Joseph can dodge lightning. Killua just needs to input a combo and he'll do a Mortal Kombat finisher on Sukuna. Your basis for deciding these things falls flat. Try it, see if you like it. Write some actual fiction instead of just saying "hehe character I like wins cuz i like them more."

[away-ward]

HEY EVERYONE LISTEN UP AND LISTEN UP CLEAR.

The reason we all hate the devil's night fandom is because of its bitch fangirl, who just cant see others point in what they are saying.

And all of you coming here moaning and bitching are doing the exact same thing.

YOU WANT TO FIGHT? GO TO TWITTER OR TIKTOK. Leave tumblr as it was.

This blog is not yours stop using the anonymous thing to dump all your hatred or stuff.

Let me be honest most of the stuff i read that you said was BATSHIT CRAZY!!!!

You want to give opinions do that on your own blog and use tags we will answer there WITHOUT A FIGHT.

The only thing you didn't do is give death threats and them bam you are twitter.

Also it's KO's blog alright, just for once think what they must see the minute they open tumblr. They may or maynot get a burnout from answering all these anons.

Tumblr was honestly such a calm place to take but oh lord do you think KO is PD? That you are coming at each other's throat here.

I’m posting this because I haven’t started deleting asks yet.

In all honesty, I appreciate the defense, but I would prefer less hostile wording. I’m not one for arguing or forcing my will on others.

But there are points in here that I do agree with.

Please Read

We can disagree on interpretations of scenes and characters. We can see things differently, and we should be able to. As long as we can happily exchange thoughts and viewpoints, that’s what makes a fandom experience enjoyable for me. When people insist on their own way of things is when the joy starts to evaporate. Personally, the moment I see that an agreement can’t take place, I’ll drop a topic and refuse to bring it up with that person again.

This becomes harder when everyone is on anon, and as the asks backlog continues to grow. I can’t expect every new visitor and follower to read all 160+ asks to see if their topic has already been covered. And since everyone is on anon, I have no way of knowing if I’m going around in circles with the same person.

On occasion, I get asks that I know could possibly cause offense, but I never posted anything that I thought was meant to offend. I’m not anyone’s parent or guardian; it’s not my job to protect you from being offended. We control our own reactions to things. If you can’t stop yourself from wanting to argue with someone, please do it on your own platform. Mine is not the place.

I’ll take a break if I need one, but so far whenever it’s gotten a bit stressful, I usually get a sweet ask for something simple and fun that makes me happy to respond. But it can be hard, too. Not only do I have people starting to argue through me, but get asks like this which make me pause and consider if and how to post it, since I know some people won’t appreciate the tone it’s coming in.

I also have received some criticism from a few sources regarding how I’m handling the situation, as well as my responses in general.

To be clear, (and I’m not sure if I need to start adding a disclaimer to all my posts, because I thought this was a given), but I am no way an authority on Devil’s Night, nor do I think I am one. I’m working with the same information and source material you have.

Most everything I say is based on my interpretation of scenes and characters. The only time I think I’m “correct” is when the source material directly supports what I’m issuing as fact. As an example, a few asks ago, someone said they couldn’t believe Emory would have an insta or social media in general. But I brought out in NF she does have an insta, so that’s canon. I only remembered this because I too was surprised that she would have one.

I wanted to know what teenage Emmy was doing with her insta. I assumed it was probably private. Did she take pictures to document how her projects were progressing? Pictures of her grandma? Who did she follow?

How often did she look up Will? Did she have a finsta to follow Will??? That would be funny, but I doubt she’d go through the effort.

That single line lead to so many questions and now the knowledge that she had an Instagram is stuck.

I’m not correcting people just to be right, and if I’m wrong, I’ll happily accept that. But otherwise, it’s all interpretation and each of us can have whatever feelings we want about that.

As far as what I post, I would hope that the people following me would believe that I am not intending to offend anyone or force my view as the only right view. I try to hear everyone out, and comment when I have thoughts, whether I agree or not. Some people think I’ve been too kind and agreeable – agreeing just to keep the peace even when I know it’s wrong – and I understand how it could seem that way. Truthfully, my intent was just to allow other people to have their interpretations, thoughts, and feelings about a scene without trying to make them feel like they're “wrong” or “bad” if it didn’t align with mine.

I’m not sure where the line is, since I’m not about to start fighting with people for saying something I don’t agree with, or for saying it in a way I wouldn’t.

But maybe I can find a balance that will make me seem less inauthentic and less like I think I’m an authority in the fandom space. If that’s how some of you have felt without saying it, then I’m sorry. That was never what I meant to do.

So, since this has gotten a rise out of some and these issues have been brought to my attention, that is the reason I’ve decided to turn off anon or a while. Like I said, it’ll be temporary, and hopefully the situation will cool down. This isn’t to make anyone feel bad for what they’ve done or said. I’m still learning how to properly manage something like this; it’s a highly unusual situation for me, and I hope everyone can appreciate that.

Until the next time we speak, hope you have a wonderful time. I hope you read something you really enjoy. That you see something beautiful, and that if you cry, it’s happy tears only. If you have a pet, give them some love from me. No seriously. That last one is important to me.

-KO

[servin-up-surveys]

survey #097

(taken january 2nd; uploading surveys taken while gone)

Were you ever scared of driving? What scared you about it? I'm like, paralyzingly terrified of driving to a point where I don't and haven't driven for a few years. One of my absolute biggest fears is getting paralyzed from the neck down (I would rather die), WAY more than what is rational, and that's the main thing that keeps me from driving. Well, that and killing somebody, because I WOULD kill myself if I did that. I could never live with it. I know it's an inconvenience, but it's just ultimately safer for everyone.

If you have any piercings or tattoos, do you remember the name of the person who did them? I remember the nickname of the guy who did three of my tattoos, June Bugg. I feel like he might've given me a piercing too, idr. I don't go to that location anymore.

What’s something that someone has said to you in the past that really offended you? Nothing in my entire life has offended me more than Sara invalidating my trauma and calling me a weak-willed deadweight.

Do you do that typical girl thing out in public where you have to have someone come into the bathroom with you? No, I wouldn't want a friend in the bathroom with me. That would make me uncomfortable.

Who was the last person you made plans with? Girt; he's coming over tomorrow.

What is something you and your parents used to argue over often? Until late into being a teenager, Mom would always get on me about always being on the computer. It never did anything, though; that's how I still am today and Mom has long since stopped commenting on it. Pretty much my whole family just knows that's how I am. Dad and I never really argued about stuff...

Give me a song that is underestimated/not well known: Honestly a whole lot of Otep songs. They're a very controversial band with how aggressively leftist they are, and I will openly admit the vocalist Otep Shamaya is fully capable of being a bitch (she's active on social medias), but the vast majority of the songs they make fucking annihilate. I know one that I've always been surprised by how "underground" it is is "Shelter In Place," which heavily enforces gun control and even addresses the NRA as a terrorist organization, so some people have very strong opinions on it, but idc, that song gives me fuckin goosebumps.

Does everyone in your family have a job? No; I don't, and Mom isn't being paid for cleaning the church right now because of disability stuff, so.

Name a reason you would most likely go to jail for: "Assault" for defending a loved one is definitely it. I am NOT afraid to throw the fuck down if somebody attacks my family, and I know in some cases judges or whatever don't accept situations as "self-defense."

If you’re a girl, have you ever had the urge shave your hair? Not all of it, no.

Is there a real fireplace in your house? Yes, but we never use it.

What’s the scariest book you’ve ever read? Uh, idk.

Do your parents drink? I am incredibly proud of my dad for being a recovered alcoholic; he never touches it anymore, at least that I know of. My mom drinks a little something very few times a year, kinda like me.

What’s your favorite seafood to eat? I only enjoy shrimp.

What does your best friend love that you hate? Uh... good question? "Hate" is a strong word; I can only imagine a situation where I love something and he doesn't, that being horror games. This mf couldn't handle the first necromorph appearance in Dead Space lmfao.

Name the creepiest horror movie character for you: Ghostface from Scream has scared me since I was a kid; I'd cry if I even saw a picture of him, lol. I kinda wanna watch the movies by this point though, like he's still super creepy to me, but he doesn't scare me anymore.

What do you believe in more: ghosts or demons? I definitely believe in ghosts, at least of some sort.

If you have a dog, what kind is it? She's a chihuahua; the last breed Mom and I ever would've sought out, but she was a friend's dog that Nicole was really insistent on us taking, and she works very well with us. We love her.

What’s the last reason you held someone’s hand? Because I wanted to and it's not rare that we do anyway when we're cuddling on the couch.

Has anyone ever tried stealing your boyfriend/girlfriend away? Not my current one, but in the past, yes.

If you were in the hospital, do you think any of your exes would come see you? No; none of them would even know, anyway. I wouldn't wanna see any, either.

Do you like being called baby? It's not my favorite, but it's whatever if Girt's the one who says it. I appreciate that it's not something he uses frequently, though.

What do you think of your best friend's ex? Well, she cheated on him and it really hurt him, so I don't think well of her. Although I am a believer in that people change, and they were together well over a decade ago, so I'm sure she's grown as an individual and I will not take that away from her. I know literally nothing about her other than what she did, not even her name.

If you had a child at the age you’re at now, do you think you’d be a good parent? No, absolutely no. I struggle taking care of myself, I could not handle a child right now.

What was the last thing you watched on YouTube? John Wolfe playing The Devil in Me.

What was your favorite job you’ve ever had? I didn't enjoy any of my very brief jobs...

What’s your phone’s wallpaper picture? Both my lock screen and home screen are currently agonizingly cute meerkat artwork.

When was the last time you saw the person you had your first kiss with? February 2017. I've since then seen a single picture of him because of a mutual friend on Facebook, but idr when this was and it was just a picture.

Why did you move to where you’re living now? Because the old house was a health hazard with mold issues, and at this time Mom had severe cancer so did NOT need that. Mom also had a hard time keeping up with rent at the old place, so that contributed to us needing out.

What was the most severe punishment your parents gave you when you were growing up? My mom wasn't afraid to spank my sisters and me, and I do remember her once hitting me so hard on the arm that I kinda had a mark for a short period. I should mention my mom is very against physical discipline like that now; she nearly cries when Ashley's husband Nick decides spanking one of the kids is "necessary."

Have you ever been to California? If so, when was the last time you were there? No; that is the literal opposite end of the country for me and I have no reason to go there.

What’s something you’re really bad at compared to others? Social situations as well as just knowing how the hell to be an adult. I don't understand money, I don't understand legal stuff; I understand very little and need help with like, everything.

Do you know anyone who treats retail/restaurant employees poorly? Not anymore. Colleen sure as hell was that person, but thank fuck I cut her out of my life many years ago.

What was the topic of conversation the last time you spoke to a sibling? Uh... I don't know.

Are you currently looking for a new job? Kinda passively, I guess. Sometimes I'll hop on Indeed and search for shit but I have absolutely zero hope.

Who is the person you are the closest to? (emotionally, not physically) My mom, and Girt.

Are any of your relatives musicians? No. I don't think, anyway.

Have you ever been in fear for your life? Yes.

What was the last caffeinated drink you had? Do you drink this often? By pure coincidence my mom just randomly brought me a Mountain Dew, lol. She's proud of me for taking better care of my teeth after the dentist. I don't drink it often anymore for sure.

AC/DC or Aerosmith? I like both, but I enjoy more Aerosmith songs.

Do you have a brother? (Do you like it that way?) I have a half-brother named Bobby, and I love him bunches even though I only see him once every few years or so... He lives in Tennessee. Right beside NC, yes, but we're in eastern NC and it's a LONG state so it is not a quick drive at all. He's amazing though, such a good, friendly, very intelligent person. He goes on hikes a lot and DAMN would I love to be able to do that with my big brother when I'm in better shape.

Is it possible/likely that you’ll become a cat lady? I MIGHT have a few cats when I'm older, I'm pretty much certain I'll have at least one, but I will never take in more animals than I can adequately provide for, and cats aren't my main pet type focus anyway.

Do you believe there’s a devil? No.

What have you been diagnosed with (if you don’t mind sharing)? Preface: I may not have every single one of the psych diagnoses; it's a strong theory that because of me having seen so many different doctors over time, there are many overlapping diagnoses. There's severe chronic depression, social and generalized anxiety, bipolarity II, AvPD, PTSD, and OCD, and right now I'm kinda-sorta in the process of seeking a professional to possibly receive an autism diagnosis, or at least get clarity that I am or am not. I don't feel like elaborating on all the reasons right now, just know I have a seriously thick novel of evidence that makes me and others (including my own mother) very suspicious that I just went undiagnosed growing up. ANYWAY physical stuff, my body carries inactive MRSA, I probably have a thyroid problem that I am soon to get properly examined, I have high cholesterol, severe sleep apnea, and uh... OH, this is brazenly obvious to me, but I haven't officially been diagnosed with muscle atrophy in my legs because I'm getting examined for anything else it might be, and sure enough the other options are running very low.

How often do you drink energy drinks? I don't; they're just too sweet, and something being too sweet for me says something.

Is Google your homepage? Yes.

Have you ever been on an island? I have, for a 4th grade field trip.

Do you enjoy jogging? I can BARELY jog for like a couple strides because of my legs. Suddenly and quickly putting so much pressure on my knees would make them buckle.

Have you tried Krispy Kreme doughnuts? (Was it love at first bite?) Krispy Kreme is my favorite place to get donuts so hell yes. When that "hot now" light is on, BOY the temptation to stop is almost unbearable, lmao. We have one very close to our house, but Mom and I avoid it because together we WILL eat a dozen super fast, lol.

Have you ever been a fan of The Killers? I mean, "Mr. Brightside" is a fucking classic and a legend of a musical piece, and I also like "Somebody Told Me," but that's pretty much it, I think.

In how many languages (besides English) can you count to 100? German... so long as I could look up what 12 is again, lol. For some reason I have SUCH a hard time remembering 12. (I just looked it up and it's "zwölf," yep, don't remember that shit lmfao)

What’s your favorite lollipop flavor? Probably strawberry. Maybe watermelon.

What do you think of shows like Maury and Jerry Springer? They're cringe as fuck, like it's excruciating.

How did you form your opinion of marijuana? Originally I was very against it because it's just another substance that affects the mind and perception and also has more carcinogens than cigarettes, but as an adult I am fully for legalizing it, though of course with regulatory laws and standards. Science is what changed my mind, really, and just knowing how incredibly beneficial weed can be for many kinds of people. I also just think it's a MASSIVE overreaction to have so many peopled jailed for weed, like bro you have WAY bigger fish to fry. I just feel like many, many improvements would be inevitable if weed was legalized worldwide.

How often do you sleep naked? Never. I only once or MAYBE twice fell asleep naked accidentally as a teenager when I was with Jason. I would feel way, way too vulnerable and also self-conscience deliberately sleeping naked.

Who is your favorite musical artist/band beginning with "N?" I just whipped out my iPod to check, and I'd say Ninja Sex Party. They kinda recently came through NC for an acoustic tour and I almost asked Girt about going because he loves them too, but yeah I didn't wanna ask ANYBODY to pay for something.

Are you much of an outdoorsy person? It sucks, I totally would be if I was in better shape/didn't feel like I was dying after five steps, and if it wasn't hot or even warm out.

How big of an Oprah fan are you? I know virtually nothing about her, so.

Have you learned the quadratic formula yet? (Do you remember it?) Well yeah, a very long time ago. I looked it up and I was wrong on what it is btw lmfao.

What is the one question you most want to ask someone and who? If Jason forgives me.

Would you agree that "variety is the spice of life?" As someone whose life is nothing but a pure, unvarying routine, yes, it absolutely is. I would give so much for my life to be more varied and exciting.

Why did you need your most recent x-ray and what were the results? At the dentist, I just needed updated x-rays of my teeth. Helped them locate cavities and stuff.

Do people more often mistake you as being younger or older than you are? Younger. I'll take it, lol.

Would you like a bottle of Yoo-Hoo or it’s not really your thing? Dude, I love those. Haven't had one in maaaany years though, which sucks. It's a warm memory of mine that when I was younger and my dad and I would go fishing with our neighbors, we would always stop at the gas station for Yoo-Hoos on the way.

Are you single? If not, what is your significant other's name? No; Donald Jr. but I've always known him as Girt.

What are your plans for tomorrow? I have a doctor appointment in the morning and Girt is coming over later. I think we're gonna color in this horror chick coloring book I got for Christmas. :')

Is anyone else in the room you’re in? Just my cat; he's asleep right behind my laptop. He loves that spot, I'm sure because of the heat leaving the computer.

What are you listening to? "Dicke Titten" by Rammstein, what a fuckin anthem lmfao

[peppertaemint]

Shawol twitter is gonna make me lose my mind. If I see the word overworked in regards to Taemin one more time before he even comes back and has anything actually officially announced I'm gonna come off private and start cussing😭

This is a grown man with almost 15 years in the business who can make his own choices. He wouldn't have agreed to Superm if he didn't want to do it. And ffs, this man has been working a regular 9-5 for the past year and the people talking about how he needs rest when he comes back? He's probably climbing the walls waiting to get back to what he loves to do. This is a man who has in the past said he wouldn't love anything but being an idol, who has said he doesn't want rest.

He probably can't wait to be busy af doing the thing he loves to do after almost two years.

I swear some of these people claim to be his fans and it's like they don't actually know anything about him?

They keep going on about how he was before his enlistment, but that was literally right before his enlistment? He had a deadline looming for something that he not only didn't want to do, but was actively anxious about doing that was gonna take him away from what he loved. Of course he wasnt doing so well, and tried to squeeze as much as he could in before he had to go.

It honestly seems like some of these shawols just don't want him to come back, but they're hiding it behind "concern" and the other ones want him back but only if he does the things that they think he should be doing because he's too stupid to decide for himself.

It's so frustrating, and it's even coming from people I used to think were chill and level headed. Like, they can just say theyd prefer shinee some come back first cause they like them better? It doesn't have to be some big issue about overworking or being forced to do something or whatever.

Anyway, I just had to rant it out. I used to get so frustrated about armys but now I'm seeing a side to shawol twitter that is similarly irritating.

Hi Anon... welp. I’m with you on this. There’s a clusterfuck happening right now as SuperM, Taemin, and SHINee fans all selfishly argue about what they want in 2023. And I agree — it’s giving shades of army, and it’s not pretty. I mean, its giving split the man in three and everyone take a piece vibes. Add in the “what’s your shawol ick” meme going around, and it’s certainly time to log out.

The people who are worried about overwork when he’s done nothing are people who don’t understand what it’s like to do something you love. I’m sorry to be so blunt, but if they understood they wouldn’t have anything to say beyond rooting for him. I used to travel substantially for work, and it was incredibly taxing going from country to country to do my thing. The jet lag alone kills you. If someone took that away from me before I was ready to hang up my passport, I would have been beside myself. Like you say, he’s been doing a 9 to 5 for over a year now, and by all accounts he’s healthier and doing well. So, why are we assuming he’s not rested and raring to go?

The other thing that is giving me pause is how people are rushing to think the D-100 is the discharge date and not the date we’ll see him again in some capacity. It makes much more sense for him to get back to work and have a date set as to when he’ll use social media again. This is Taemin. He’s gonna do something weird or grand or god knows what. Everyone thinks he’s going to discharge and turn on IG Live or something immediately, but I just don’t think that’s what will be happening. I think everything will be planned out, as much for him as it is for the fans. If I’m wrong I’m wrong, but I somehow can’t see him switching on a live stream at home to greet everyone... I think it will be more formal and supportive work environment situation, if that makes sense.

How he was before enlistment ties into the above but also exactly the point you made before. He had a longstanding condition that was exacerbated by a huge change in lifestyle and profession. Finally, he’s already returned home and will be returning to work. Those are not the problem things from my limited, basic human perspective. The other thing kinda grating on me as someone with chronic illness is like people wanting to police what he does. Only he gets to decide what’s right for him. Just because fans could see he was unwell at times that doesn’t mean he should throw in the towel and do one comeback a year. Or that he needs babying or for people people to doubt his capabilities (which is what this comes off like). People need to check their own discomfort at someone else’s challenges and abilities. They’re not your challenges.

Back to the first point, though: what fans want most. I’ve actually seen a lots of shawols just blatantly saying they don’t want a solo or SuperM comeback first, which I find pointless. Personally, I think no one gets to choose but SM (probably not even TM as it’s down to timing and we need to consider Kai’s enlistment etc) so what point is there in having a tantrum? I’d like him to come back as a solo first, and I’m huge SHINee fan, but it doesn’t matter. After almost two years, I will be happy about whatever comes (I mean, if the music sucks I’ll say so but I’ll still enjoy cursed content LOL).

All of this is irritating, but the good thing with shawols/Taemints is that things usually blow over quickly and quiet down because of the behaviour standards. I don’t find it incessant, and luckily there are plenty of people keeping quiet or reminding others not to be so stupid. On another front, though, I’ve already noticed even the shippers are getting a little loud, and I predict with the MinKeyers taking cues from TaeKookers, there might be some nasty moments ahead. Most 2Minners are quiet or on private, but there is one who is just well, a bit loud and out there with a lot of followers, and I’ve already seen them shading other ships, especially MinKeyers. And I get it to an extent; some of the things they say are not okay but it’s the blatant shade that gets me. They are young, and I hate to say it but a lot (but not all) of these negative behaviours do come from younger fans, especially those hopping fandoms because they bring the behaviours with them instead of acclimating to the fandom’s values/standards.

[losthomunculus]

Online Safety Relevant to the Current State of the Internet

On twitter I made a tweet about how online safety lessons in school can be very out of touch but that the advice of people who are familiar with the current internet shouldn't be disregarded. So here's my informal collection of online safety tips

Sources: unrestricted internet access since elementary school (not recommended), being a formerly involuntarily home bound person for several years that amassed way too much online experience

This could possibly hold upsetting reminders to people who had bad experiences online including mentions of grooming and emotional manipulation so please proceed with caution!

Information Sharing

Make an online pseudonym for public profiles and websites.

Don’t feel like you have to list everything about you for the world to see.

Sometimes it’s not a question of “can this information be used to locate and identify me irl?”, but simply “do I want this information publicly available and linked to my online persona?”

Unlike offline, being online leaves a constant trail of who you were accessible at all times. People are constantly growing and changing. Try to limit the information you share so you can ditch that trail and start over if need be.

Sharing information with people you make friends with and trust is a judgement call on your part, but always be on the safe side and be protective of your information.

Start as cautious as possible with online safety. Any risks or judgement calls can come later when you are 1. aware of the risks, 2. ready to address them if they occur, and 3. have gathered plenty of information instead of doing something blindly and hoping for the best.

Do not share your triggers publicly, they can very easily be used against you. Instead use websites with a large amount of filtering options to curate your online experience. If you are going to share them, only do it privately with people you trust.

Importance of Boundaries

It doesn’t matter how mature you are, don’t enter age limited spaces you don’t qualify for. It’s disrespectful to the boundaries of the people who made that space. Boundaries like this exist for the comfort of both sides involved.

Just because you can “handle it” doesn’t mean it’s good for you. Desensitization is not something to brag about.

Venting or making r18 posts as a minor on a public account is VERY dangerous. Intense emotional vulnerability is something manipulators will look for as a way to get to you. The same with sexual jokes to develop your comfort talking about those topics casually and eventually escalating the situation. If you are going to talk about such things please keep that in private conversations with people you trust in your age group.

Note the difference between public and private online space. Tweeting something on a public account is not the same as having a conversation in the cafeteria with your friends.

If an adult tries talking to you about r18, run the other way. Doesn’t matter how cool you are, it says something weird about THEM if they’re willing to talk to a minor about that stuff.

If someone( like 3+ years, honestly depends on how old you are) older than you wouldn't be comfortable saying what they're saying to you in front of other people (like a teacher or guardian), that's suspicious as hell. Run in the other direction.

The younger you are, the more age gaps matter. There's a bigger difference in development between a 13 year old and a 17 year old than there is between a 20 year old and a 24 year old. It helps to try to contextualize it with real people instead of numbers. Instead of thinking "oh just 4 years? that's not that weird" consider "oh. that would be like a freshman (13/14) dating a senior (17/18). yikes."

Be just as wary of people your own age talking about things that make you uncomfortable. Just like irl, sometimes you’ll meet people your age that are hurtful.

Friends complain to each other and talk about their issues, that alone is fine. But when people are doing it without permission, draw a line. When people are making it feel like you’re responsible for maintaining their mental health, you need to draw a line. When it starts to effect your mental health, PLEASE DRAW A LINE! I know it feels like your responsibility sometimes, but it’s not. You cannot be there for others if you’re not taking care of yourself first and foremost.

Don’t be afraid to block people. Even for petty reasons. It’s good to block people. Don’t force yourself to see stuff you don’t want to see.

Being Constantly Online

The 24 hour news cycle is not a good thing to follow 24/7. Taking social responsibility is a good thing, but your brain is NOT built to worry about every issue in the world at once. One strategy I use for staying sane is I try to only check the news once a day, and if something needs more attention to set aside an amount of time I’m going to focus on it before I need to take time to step back.

Touch grass. Not literally, unless you can in which case I highly suggest it, sometimes it’s just good to lay in a field. What I mean is you need to dedicate a good portion of your time to being offline (sleep does not count). What your offline time looks like is going to differ depending on your level of ability, but even if you are house bound it’s important to build some hobbies that don’t rely on the internet. Talking to people offline is also a good goal if possible, even just to your housemates.

Social etiquette greatly differs online and offline and sometimes the reminder that were all just Some People gets lost behind the numbers and the fabricated personas. Keep in mind the difference in how information is shared without forgetting that the fact we are all people remains the same.

Be generous with your etiquette. You will avoid a lot of stress if you conduct yourself with the same politeness you would have in an offline interaction. Master the art of "minding your own business" for your own sake.

Arguments and Competition

As soon as you can, you need to internalize the fact that leaving an argument is not losing.

It is inevitable you will be exposed to many people who disagree with you. Some people only want to argue to rile you up. Sometimes that’s not their intention, but it’s what they’re doing. You do not have to remain in conversation with people, especially if they’re not interested in actually coming to an understanding. Even if they are interested, sometimes they just suck!! Leave!! You can leave!!

On that note, sometimes you are going to get valid criticism and it’s going to hurt. That is part of learning. If someone says you messed up and did something hurtful, take a second to step back from your defensiveness and consider: intent ≠ effect. Apologize, repair what you can, and move forward with the ability to do better in the future. You’re going to mess up every once in awhile, it’s inevitable.

To summarize the past two points: don't waste your time on unnecessary hostility but don't close yourself into an echo chamber either. Debates should be about learning.

Sometimes people are not going to like you. This happens offline too but people tend to be a lot more blunt online. Sometimes people dislike you for no reason or for really petty reasons. That’s not your problem, move on.

Don’t actively seek out people you don’t like or who don’t like you to argue with. Whether or not your side is the “right side” doesn’t matter, it’s going to cause you so much unnecessary stress. Feel free to keep posting your opinions on your own profile but don’t seek out unnecessary conflict.

This is a different type of competition than previously mentioned, but be aware of the danger of comparing yourself to other people. Especially if you’re a creative or student, DO NOT GET SWEPT UP IN THE GRIND CULTURE. It’s more subtle in some places than others, but anytime you see the notion that you should be working yourself to the bone be VERY critical. Also be critical of any online cultures (such as gaming and art communities) that brag about unhealthy habits or act like it’s ~part of the culture~ (ex: all nighters, not taking breaks, getting hurt. Any activity that neglects health to work toward a goal).

Not just grind culture, any community of subculture that shares anti recovery sentiments is a huge red flag. Even if they're joking, it's not worth the risk of internalizing those statements.

Everyone’s social media presence is to some degree doctored because it’s a purposefully selected collection of what they allow you to see. It’s fine to like the persona you see being displayed, but never forget that it is not reflective of the entire person. Everyone online is JUST SOME PERSON. Do not forget that and start holding yourself to a standard you can’t even see every side of.

By posting online you are opening yourself to criticism. Whether or not it’s justified can vary, but either way it’s going to happen. Mute stuff, go private, disable comments, etc if you need to.

Misc Tidbits

these are technically just general info that is also good for offline but I have seen things that make me think people online need the extra reminder.

Learn what cults are, how they recruit, and what they do to their members. I'm not kidding. This is particularly relevant at the moment because of current societal unrest and widespread loneliness. No one is immune to cult propaganda, and not every cult is based on pre established religion or family. Many exist ONLINE and are able to manipulate people without ever meeting face to face. (learn more: Loneliness as a Pandemic: The Dangers of Online Cult

Familiarize yourself with the concept of pseudoscience. Please familiarize yourself with the concept of pseudoscience and then learn how to identify pseudoscience. (learn more: Karl Popper, Science, & Pseudoscience: Crash Course Philosophy #8)

Q. How do I know if a source is reliable?

Final Thoughts

It's important people of ALL ages learn these lessons, because the internet is constantly changing and we are all vulnerable when in the presence of other people.

Be cautious and stay safe

[janaem]

tension

this is a mature scenario

requests are also open, go to my pinned post to learn more :)

(c/f) ;; crush’s friend

(y/f) - your friend

r/n - restaurant name

“___”- you or your crush’s name

[8:00 pm]

you looked out the open window feeling the breeze on your face. you closed your eyes and laughed at the ticklish feeling as you tilted your head back.

your friend, ___, was the one behind the wheel, chatting with your crush's friend, ___. the four of you decided to escape from reality for a while and just aimlessly drive around for a while. what a calming way to spend a summer night, you've longed to go on adventures like this. and the music in the background was absolutely perfect.

"i'm hungry." your crush said slightly slouching in his seat which was next to yours, his legs spread a bit. it was kind of awkward being in the backseat with him, considering the fact that the two of you only exchanged one short conversation.

you and your friend ___, were originally going to hang out together, but since they grew more fond of your crush's friend, they insisted on picking the two of them up.

"let's go somewhere that has a drive thru." you said closing the car window.

"oh, i was told that i can't eat food in this car." you friend replied looking around for places to eat.

"wait, why?" c/f asked, sitting up in their seat.

y/f sighed, keeping their eye out for any nearby places, "this is a new car, just got this two days ago."

c/f nodded, "so...do we just dine in?"

"or we could order pick up and eat outside the car by the lake or something." you imputed googling some restaurants near you.

"yeah, that's a good idea." ___ said turning his head to look right at you. it shouldn't be a surprise, but you felt your body slightly tense up and start to feel warm as you scrolled through the various options on your screen.

a few places caught your eye, and you started listing them.

"oooh i think that r/n is a perfect spot to get pick up!" c/f announced.

y/f nodded, "yeah, ___, what do you think?" they asked looking at the two of you in the back seat through the rearview mirror.

you absently nodded, scrolling through social media, your crush said yes.

"you two have been awfully quiet" c/f pointed out turning their body halfway to look at the two of you in the back seat.

"they're heavy on the sexual tension." y/f added making the frat boy face.

"bro..." your crush sighed in annoyance. you looked over at him, he immediately caught your gaze and you instantly looked away, pretending to scroll on your phone.

"guys, if you like each other just say that. It's so obvious." y/f suggested turning the corner, you were 2 minutes away from your destination, since it was a place pretty close by.

"we have more important things to worry about, like our orders for the food." you shot back looking up from your phone.

"and what we'll be having for dessert, isn't that right, ___?" c/f glanced at ___, them a wink.

"dude, shut up." ___ said dismissively, you felt your body become tense again. you looked over at ___, as he rested his elbow by the window, leaning his cheek into the palm of his hand. you only squeezed your legs tighter, why the fuck did they look so fine being careless? you looked at his legs, you honestly just wanted to sit on his lap and make out with him without a care in the world.

the throbbing down there suddenly caught you off guard, "can you guys stop, seriously. we don't like each other, it was just sudden that y/f decided to pick you two up. let it go." you sighed shifting uncomfortably in your seat, crossing your legs together. ___ saw this and raised their eyebrows. however, you refused to look at him again for the rest of the ride.

"shut your horny ass up, we know that's not true." c/f teased turning back around to face straight ahead. you just wanted to beat the shit out of this motherfucker with no mercy.

"we'll order inside, it's late and the line shouldn't be long at all." y/f sighed, ignoring the previous conversation that just took place.

"but, that doesn't make sense, we'll have to wait even longer for the food now." ____ imputed.

you adjusted yourself in your seat, taking a breath, "not if we call them now."

"we have one more minute until we arrive, it's pointless." y/f replied looking at the gps.

"that's plenty of time, just tell me what you guys want, and if we arrive sooner than expected, we can just park and finish our order." you said dialing in the number.

everyone else agreed, so you called r/n and told them your orders. you arrived just in time once you finished and hung up.

"see told ya." you smirked putting your phone down.

"c/f and i will go in to pick up the orders." y/f said unbuckling their seatbelt along with c/f.

"uhh...can i come?" __ asked sitting up a bit, unbuckling his seatbelt.

"no, you stay here with ___." c/f replied opening the car door and steeping, causing him to huff under his breath.

"they said it'll take 15 minutes. why can't y'all stay here until it's ready?" you argued furrowing your eyebrows.

"i don't know why you're complaining, you get some alone time with your boyfriend." y/f smiled as they exited the car, and before you could say anything else the door slammed shut.

the silence was way to loud in the backseat of the car, you held your phone firmly in your hands, fighting the urge to look at ___, who was on his phone. what were you thinking? he's not even thinking about you right now, so why bother...

you finally decided to break the silence after a while, "you know, you don't have to listen to c/f and y/f... you can just go in if you want to." you immediately regretted saying that, you hoped deep down that he wouldn't leave you.

"nah, i'm fine right here." ___ replied, scrolling through his phone mindlessly.

you nodded and went on your phone as well, texting someone to save the awkwardness.

suddenly, ___ scoots next to you, still looking down at his phone. you furrowed your eyebrows at the move. why was he doing this?

"Uhh..." you leaned towards the window, your heart started to race uncontrollably and the adrenaline in your body started to rise.

___ sighed, getting comfortable, "shut up, i got cold."

you gave him a skeptical look, "it's literally seventy nine degrees out, and you're wearing a hoodie and sweatpants."

"just shut up, okay?" ___ sighed, he was seated at least an inch away from you.

"you're so fucking weird." you muttered.

"i'll show you weird if you don't shut the fuck up and sit still."

this moment was making you heated, your face started to get hot and you ached with anticipation to either say something rude, or bold. maybe say both? you honestly didn't know what to do, and the throbbing down on your core started to intensify and it only made matters worse.

"and how the hell are you gonna do that, ___? right i though so, so move back to your fucking seat or i'll make you."

yeah, you shouldn't have said that.

"fuck." you whispered to yourself, your gaze on ___ softened due to realizing what you've just done.

"oh yeah?" ___ gave you a lazy smirk, slightly tilting his head back to show a bit of his adam's apple.

you didn't say anything after that, that was until you felt ___ knee on yours. that was when your stomach clenched.

"how are you gonna make me move acting like this, huh?" he scooted closer so that both of your shoulders were touching. you still remained silent, watching closely as ___'s hand reached down, gripped your thigh, and moved it on top of his leg. the throbbing intensified, you became even hotter than ever, and your heart raced at an astronomical pace. you don't think you were able to handle it any longer. one more move from him and you were sure to break.

he leaned over, his face inches from yours, "not so tough now, are we?"

fuck it.

you cupped ___'s face with both of your hands and collided your lips onto his. he leaned in so that he was slightly on top of you, causing you to lean back, the seatbelt restricting you to go any further. luckily, while kissing you, ___ reached back and undid the buckle with his one hand.

you were now able to lean back, your head rested on the window, allowing ___ to settle between your legs. your back arched at the feeling of his hand trailing up your thigh, his thumb brushing over your clit. his other hand, trailed up under your sweatshirt, squeezing your waist.

you both parted, ___ looked into your eyes, "is this okay?" he continued to faintly rub his thumb faintly over your sensitive area.

"yeah..." you panted ,leaning in and kissing him again. the feeling of his hands on your bare skin, and his other hand on the very spot you've always wanted him was overwhelming.

___ slid his hand into your pants, using his middle finger to slide up and down to toy with your covered area. your breathing started to get heavier as you bucked your hips to meet his finger.

"does this feel good?" ___ asked placing a kiss on your jaw.

you were melting under his touch, "yeah..." you quivered, suddenly hissing once you felt ___ add a few more fingers and rubbing circles on your clit. his other hand, which was originally on your waist, slowly snaked up to fondle your breast.

"___...oh my--" you let out a gasp feeling him go a bit faster. the wetness started to build up on your core, a shockwave of pleasure erupts within you.

you two went at it again with the kissing, ___ slipped his tongue into your mouth, resulting in the kiss to become sloppier than before. ___ also took the opportunity to pull your underwear down, proceeding the act of rubbing your core. he let out a small hum in ecstasy, feeling how warm you were.

"fuck, you drive me crazy, ___" he groaned in between kisses, "you're so wet, too"

you simply couldn't talk, the feeling in your stomach built up every few seconds. you parted from ___ to let out a whimper, biting your lip and rolling your eyes back. you arched again at the feeling of his hand toying with your breast. unfortunately, he stopped and placed his hand from your breast to your back. ___ then started to place kisses on your jaw and neck, you closed your eyes in pleasure, feeling every inch of him touching you, you didn't want him to stop no matter what.

___ stopped kissing you after a while, and took a good look at you. he couldn't take his eyes off of you beautiful expression. he didn't think he would make you feel this way, and it filled him with pride that he is. he looked from your parted lips, to your heaving chest. just looking at you drove him to the edge, he'll never know how and why you were so breathtaking, especially in this state.

your eyes opened slightly, seeing that ___ was staring at you, a series of moans and whimpers continued to come out of you.

you started to squirm, and he liked that. so he went faster, assuming that you were about to reach your high.

"you like that, huh?" he whispered against your lips as he continued to rub his fingers on your clit. the overwhelming feeling that sent shockwaves through your core began to build up more and more the harder and faster he rubbed.

"oh my god..." you sighed, rolling your eyes back in relief. your back arched feeling the sudden wave of pleasure, which was stronger than the last. it was all so unexplainable, all you knew is that you felt so good.

___ placed a slow kiss on your lips, pulling away once you let out another moan. he chuckled and went faster. and the faster he went, the more frequent your whimpers became. you never really admitted it, but you enjoyed the build up before a good orgasm. and it would seem that___ knew just how to maintain this feeling inside you. it was almost hard to believe that this was his first time touching you.

___ moved his hand from your back, to the window to support himself, leaning into you more. all you could do was pant, feeling your abdominal muscles clench, the feeling of pleasure was even greater, allowing your mouth to fall open.

___'s hand started to flex, "you gonna cum for me?" he said going faster than before, "yeah?" he gripped your waist even tighter, watching your expression intensely. ___ wanted to make sure that you felt everything.

"oh fuck, yes." you moaned, looking up at the ceiling. all you were focused on, were ___'s fingers and the intense release you were having.

"you look so hot cuming for me." ___ said, your foreheads were inches away.

you couldn't respond, the orgasm you just had had taken it's toll on you. your legs shook a bit as you rode out your last high. small sighs and pants escaped your lips, the very same lips that your crush leaned over and placed a kiss on.

you kissed back and your crush pulls your bottoms back up, the feeling of the fabric touching your sensitive area made you squirm a bit.

"i made you cum that hard?" ___ teased, giving you a smirk.

"yeah ..." you said slyly, wrapping your arms around his neck. you tangled your fingers into his hair, taking in how beautiful his eyes were. your infatuation for each other grew just then, and the two of you leaned in and kissed each other again.

suddenly, the car door opened and in entered your two chatty friends. they were so caught up in their conversation that both you and ___ took this time to immediately get situated again.___ slid all the way back to his original spot as you got out your phone and started typing and scrolling.

"damn, it's hot in here..." y/f said starting the car again and turning on the air conditioning.

"Yeah," c/f looked suspiciously at you and ___, "y'all fucked or sum?"

"i'd rather die." you said bluntly, not looking up from your phone. ___ just let out an indifferent grunt.

"well, anyways, to the lake we go! i'm starving." y/f announced reversing out of the parking lot.