#i used to be very attached to my dream world but now i am convinced even that is fake so really there is nohting left anymore

[tgmsunmontue]

Online & Anonymous 5/16

Hangster. Explicit. Years before they meet in person Bradley and Jake strike up a friends-with-benefits relationship online. And then something more like an actual relationship.

Odd year = Bradley's POV and Even year = Jake's POV

>>Bradley chatting (bold and italics)

>>Jake chatting (italics)

2005/2006 2007 2008 2009

2010 – Jake

                He’s a fully commissioned officer, a naval aviator, junior grade lieutenant. He’s got his wings and he knows he’s good. He can control himself physically and he considers a plane a simple extension of that. He loves flying like nothing else. His first deployment has him practicing night landing and takeoffs, something he can’t say he’s a fan of, but he also manages better than most of his counterparts and it leaves him feeling smug. He’s getting better at flying and he’s already itching to get an invitation to

                He hadn’t been convinced about switching to a different messaging app, especially one that required him to buy a new phone. However he has no regrets. The amount of messages he and Nick send back and forth increases, it’s much quicker and convenient. And while he ignores the messages he gets from strangers he definitely enjoys looking at the pictures. He jerks off more than usual but then the novelty wears off.

                Nick does not wear off.

                If anything Nick seems to get better. He’s definitely using the app to its full purpose, whenever he’s somewhere there are plenty of guys also using it; Nick shares stories with him, tells him about the guys he sleeps with and Jake lets himself live vicariously through him. If Jake felt more confident he’d be doing the same. Wants to do the same but is also terrified. Admires Nick for seeming not to care about being caught. Wonders if he’s developing a voyeurism kink. Except everything he sees is solely in his imagination.

>>Would you send me a picture of your dick?

>>You want a picture of my dick?

>>Yeah. I’m kind of attached to it, and I haven’t even seen it.

                He doesn’t say that he’s also attached to Nick. Doesn’t want to come off as needy even if that’s exactly how he feels. He’s seen pictures of Nick’s stomach and thighs, his chest. He’s seen a hard dick being palmed through the fabric of his briefs, but god yeah, he wants to see the real thing. It’s not immediate and he wonders what Nick is doing, has already said that he’s by himself and not going to be interrupted. Then the picture comes through and he knows Nick is over six foot, maybe has big hands, and he’s holding his dick in his hand and it’s dark dusky pink at the head, his fingers are curled around the shaft loosely and god he wishes they could video chat or something, it looks average, if he assumes Nick’s hands are normal sized.

>>How big are your hands?

>>You trying to figure out how big I am?

>>Maybe.

>>I’m plenty big enough. Never had any complaints.

>>Thinking about your hands on me too.

>>They look like nice hands.

>>I used to play baseball. Big mitts.

>>Yeah? Long fingers too looks like.

>>Yeah, I play the piano. Long fingers come in handy.

>>Bet they come in handy for lots of things.

>>You’re not wrong.

                Jake bites his lip, looks at the picture again, imagines wrapping his mouth around the head and licking and sucking, making Nick come with nothing but his hands and mouth.

>>Thanks for the picture. It’s a very pretty dick. Now I can imagine sucking it.

>>Fuck.

>>If we ever meet I hope I’m able to do everything properly. Like I can in my head.

>>When we meet.

                Jake rolls his eyes.

>>And I don’t care about it being perfect. Sex generally never is.

>>We’ll have fun and get each other off.

>>More than once.

>>Definitely more than once.

>>We won’t leave bed for days. Maybe lock ourselves away from the world when we’re both on leave.

                Jake lets himself dream.

…            …            …

>>Do you ever hook up with other guys?

>>In the service I mean?

>>I mean. I have once or twice. Got to be so careful.

>>There’s this subtle careful look that gets exchanged. I’ve given it and had it ignored, and either the guy isn’t up for it, or just missed it completely. Other times…

>>Other times?

>>It’s been hit and miss. Sometimes the guy is angry and can take it out on you. Other times it’s just sex. Other times they can think it’s the start of something.

>>Take it out on you? What do you mean?

>>Oh. Just.

>>Rough. Angry with the whole thing. Think they’re angry at themselves. That whole not wanting to want another man that way.

>>And you let them?

>>Sometimes. I’ve walked away when I’ve been seriously worried.

>>But I like it a little rough sometimes.

>>Reminds me I’m with a man and I don’t have to hold back my own strength.

                Jake bites his lip and shifts a little, already starting to get a little hard, and they aren’t even talking about having sex with each other, just talking about sex in general and he can’t believe it’s getting him hard.

>>You getting hard?

>>Yeah.

>>You know me too well.

>>Of course I do.

>>I wonder how hard I can get you.

                Jake knows exactly how hard, he goes back and reads some of their conversations sometimes and they get him hard every single time.

>>I wonder if I told you not to jerk off, and talked to you like this, whether you could come from it.

                Jake knows that that won’t happen, he always needs a little friction. But…

>>I’m willing to give it a try.

>>Yeah?

>>Want me to tell you when it’s okay to touch yourself? When you can come?

>>You like the sound of that?

>>Yeah. Little bit.

…            …            …

                He refuses to think about what he has with Nick as a relationship. At least not a romantic one. He is definitely his best friend though, right up their with Javy, although Javy hasn't ever made him come. Some months are quieter than others, and he gets it now. Nick is deployed. Hell. Considering both their schedules it’s a miracle they’ve managed so much communication already. He desperately wants to ask him which service he’s in, but unlike his name, Nick hasn’t offered to share that. However, knowing that they’re both military opens a different type of floodgate and Jake finds himself talking about his team, squad, group, platoon. He changes up what he calls them. If Nick asks he’ll tell him, because then he’ll feel better about asking himself.

                The question doesn’t come though.

…            …            …

>>Tell me something you’ve never told anyone else.

>>Other than the fact I’m gay you mean?

>>Ha ha. Yeah. Other than that.

>>I miss my parents.

                Jake’s fingers hover over his phone, not sure what to say. He knows Nick’s parents are dead, and Nick knows his own parents kicked him out… God they’ve both got issues there don’t they. Still, missing them doesn’t feel like something he’d be ashamed to admit.

>>My dad died when I was three. My mom died of cancer fifteen years ago.

>>Oh shit. I’m sorry.

>>I was raised by my godfather after that, but I’m not talking to him either.

>>I miss him too sometimes.

>>I had this whole other family and I just turned my back on them and some days I wonder if it was worth it.

                Jake wants to ask, wants to know, because he aches for his family some days, knows he can’t go back. His parents made it abundantly clear that he was no longer welcome, and he wonders if they’d even care if he died.

>>What made you turn your back?

>>You don’t have to tell me, just, I’m here, if you want to tell me.

>>I applied to one of the academies. He pulled my papers. Told me I wasn’t ready. So I went and enlisted anyway.

>>Oh shit.

>>Yeah.

>>So. I’m still angry about it, but I also miss them. Him. Families fuck you up.

>>Yeah. They do.

…            …            …

                It takes a near miss and he lands on the carrier inwardly shaking, although he doesn’t let it show outwardly. But he’s just realized that if something happens to him Nick will never know. He doesn’t want to put him through that. He carefully writes down some instructions and what he wants to say, then he changes the lock code on his phone to Javy’s year of birth, he can’t forget that and it’ll remind him everyday of why he needs to be careful. But also the best. He finds Javy and walks him through it, show him where he hides the app and where he’s going to keep the envelope. Usually they’d joke about something like this, but after the day they’ve had neither of them are feeling in a jokey mood and Jake has no one else to ask.

>>I told my best friend about you. If something happens to me he’ll let you know.

>>How?

>>Gave him a sealed envelope with instructions. Told him I was trusting him, and that if he wanted to keep his sanity he wouldn’t risk opening it. You know what he said?

>>What?

>>That he’d already seen plenty of dick on the locker room and wasn’t going to go looking for any more.

>>But also that he’d do it. So. Yeah.

>>You don’t have to worry about me dropping off the face of the earth and forever wondering what happened to me.

>>He’ll let you know.

>>Wow. Okay. That’s really thoughtful of you.

>>Thanks I guess.

>>Shit. I hadn’t even thought of it.

>>I’ll do the same. It’s not like what I’m doing is any safer than what you’re doing.

>>Yeah. I think not knowing would be the worst part.

>>I wanted to ask you, if you could do that for me.

>>So thanks for offering already.

>>You sure you don’t want my name? That would suck to find it out after I’ve died.

>>Don’t think calling you anything different will make you dying easier on me.

>>So try not to die okay?

>>I’ll do my best.

2011 - Bradley

[dangerously-human]

FIRST PREGNANCY, GEORGE BABYFIC, LAUNDRY AND TAXES, TORTURE BUT MARRIED 💕😍💖🙏🤲🩷

Your selections are, shall we say, unsurprising. XD Half of these I have snippets for, half are still in the conceptual/outlining stage.

First pregnancy (My Heart Walked into the World): This is from a future chapter where Lucy and Lockwood are sparring in the basement and Lockwood has an "oh this is real real, I'm actually gonna be a dad" moment.

From this angle, the swell of her belly was more apparent; in another month, if she pulled the same move, it would be prodding him in the face. Not that they’d be keeping up with sparring then — or maybe they would; the pregnancy manuals weren’t exactly written with active agents in mind. He’d have to brush up on some of the chapters toward the back of the book later. Suddenly, it was difficult to drag his gaze away from that new shape. There really was a tiny person growing in there, a person he and Lucy had made together. It was incredible and unfathomable and frankly a little bit bizarre, and it was really, actually happening. Contrary to what George might tease, Lockwood hadn’t spent much time imagining this — had assumed, maybe, that if he lived long enough, he’d eventually have children, because that was what adults did. The time before his parents died was foggy at best, so it was hard to guess at his childhood dreams; but as far back as he could remember, to little Anthony Lockwood, the options for adults were either dad or DEPRAC agent, probably, and the latter sounded terribly boring. But that was the future, and before he was ten, the future had let him down too many times to be trusted, so it didn’t bear thinking about in much detail. And then came Lucy. And somewhere along the way, even when she was still Lucy Carlyle, the vision had crystallized. Not so much the when, but the whether. And now that hazy someday was here, and Lockwood was maybe forgetting a little how to breathe.

George-centric babyfic: This one's a little tricky only because I originally started it before I had any intention of writing the first pregnancy fic, and there's a good bit of information (mainly about our faves' futures, but also about life and culture during the Problem) I was trying to convey that makes more sense there than here. In actuality I think this will be a good thing: this fic was turning into a lot of infodumping and needs to find its own identity instead. But it's going to take some rewrites, and, well. Redoing things is never my favorite. But I'm very attached to this fic; it plays a lot on George and Lucy's friendship, which is always one of my favorite things to write, and it's also sort of the foundation of the Restore the Years 'verse, in that I kept daydreaming this scene and invented seven Lockwood children to justify it and started establishing headcanons and then went, hmm, maybe I should actually flesh out how we got here. 20+ works later...

Right, so. This one does feed quite a bit off of that post that's like, we all know George lives with Lucy and Lockwood until at least their third child (this is #4), and Lockwood gets all sad puppy eyes when he says he's moving out and Flo tries to extricate him from the Lockwood commune, etc etc. My take on that:

“It’s not about that, Lockwood. You know I love Ivy, and the twins, even if I am convinced they conspired to steal all my beakers last week.” “They’re all of eight months old, George, they’re not conspiring on anything,” I said, punctuating my statement with a hefty eyeroll. “Their worst crime is mouthing salt bombs. That, or using those fancy new teeth to bite their sister.” “Nonetheless, my point stands that it’s not about the kids. As I was saying, Flo’s finally getting less antsy indoors, and I think it’s high time we started our lives together properly.” Lockwood frowned. “Now, don’t feel like you need to rush into anything—” George snorted. “Oh, yes, moving in together two years into marriage, that’s really a scandalously condensed timeline.”

Laundry and taxes: Still in the planning stage. This is the Locklyle proposal from Lockwood's POV (Lucy's POV being Where O Grave). Lockwood buys the ring (as we saw in Here's a Safe Place to Lay Your Heart Down), and then takes to carrying it with him everywhere as he tries to figure out the perfect way to propose. Everything he comes up with either doesn't suit Lucy, doesn't work out, or gets vetoed by Kipps. Eventually he's just doing laundry in the basement with Lucy and can't wait another second, and pulls out the ring from his pocket. My nickname for the story comes from that quote from Everything Everywhere All at Once (which I really need to actually watch!) about, like, "I would have liked just doing laundry and taxes with you," and my fondness for the way accepting a mundane life together is actually a really important part of the development of Lockwood's romance with Lucy, and the way the necklace of devotion symbolizes all that.

Torture but married: Basically the Winkman interrogation scene but what if they were married. I actually haven't fully decided who's in which role in this scene, although they both get beat up, so I'll be happy either way, lol. Lockwood and Lucy are doing some undercover investigation work related to their mission on the Other Side, and one of them (probably Lockwood) gets captured and mid-interrogation, the other (probably Lucy) intervenes to rescue him, also gets whammied a little in the process, there's lots of worry for each other, and the comfort and wound tending we were denied in the show episode. Also there's a line in there where he's pleading for his captors to let him go and he's like, "I have a wife and child and child at home, please," and because the entire point of this fic was for me to get to write a "that's my wife!" scene for Lockwood, eventually he gets to go, "yeah, actually that's my wife who's currently making problems for you, the baby's at home with the nanny though" and then they get to cuddle Ivy when they get home because I never got over that scene in The Peacekeeper Wars of a bloodied, nearly dead John cradling his newborn son with Aeryn looking on.

[lostonehero]

Some weird demon shenanigans it's Danny's fault

"Tim!" A man who shares similar features to Tim pulls Tim up to stand.

A woman with coffee, color skin, and curly puffy hair raised her brow and crossed her arms. "Before you say anything, Danny roped me into this, and I didn't think I would actually agree."

Tim blinks. "Sasha...?" He faces the man, his brother. "Danny?"

"Yep! So we don't have much time because again you're asleep and we both know you're hardwired to sleep as little as possible." Danny pushes Tim into a chair that suddenly appears. "So here's the deal we are collateral, and you have to agree to marriage."

"I told you to word that better." Sasha pinches her brow. "He isn't exactly wrong. He's convinced that you've gone off the deep end after everything, which we can't confirm because, again, we are dead and don't have access to the living world."

"Less talking, we don't have much time." Danny claps his hands. "Tim, will you marry a demon? Not just a demon but the strongest heir to the kingdom to hell if the king ever decides to take a vacation. King is such a wrong term for that... eh, whatever."

Sasha rolls her eyes. "Who's wasting time now?"

"Shut up! Tim yes or no?" Danny stares at his brother.

Tim sighs. "Fuck it why not it's a dream none of this is real you both are dead. It's not like this will matter..."

"Wa-" Danny had his eyes widen before he was gone.

Sasha tried to reach out before she felt cold stone on her back.

"I mean, that's technically a yes." A man with a deep voice sighs. "So you two will fulfill your end of the deal." The man snaps his fingers and the two vanish.

.......

The redheaded man felt the weight of chains in his hands. He knew what it was and how heavy chains that bound spirits to him. He hissed now fully awake as he couldn't release them as the chains sunk into his wrists and a note felt to his chest. He growled as the chains were now permanently attached to him fused to his being, which meant they were his for the rest of eternity or death. He grabbed the note and read it over once twice, and finally, five times before he groaned.

He got himself out of bed and got dressed carefully, wrapping his tail around his chest to hide under his sweater. He made his way out of his room to the sounds of soft snoring, and he saw someone he never thought he would see again outside of old Polaroids and a man who shared a resemblance to his coworker.

"Of course you would say this would help stop the end of the world." He mumbles under his breath, heading to the kitchen to start making tea. "I didn't need help finding a partner, and I definitely didn't need two spirits who are no longer spirits anymore. Well, they would be happy to eat and drink again.... no idiot, listen to yourself...." He sighs as the tea kettle whistles. "Shit."

A crash of a body hitting the floor and a sleepy voice. "I'm up. I'm up!" A woman poked her head up and looked over the couch to see... "Martin?"

Martin jumps and nearly drops the hot water. "I uh.. I didn't mean to wake you... er yeah, just you." The man was still dead asleep drooling on the recliner.

Sasha pauses, and a look of realization comes over her features. "You're..." she stops as Martin waves his hands.

"Yeah... I mean, I found out when I was 13, and uh... yeah... I know he means well, but I don't... I didn't..." Martin sighs and finishes mixing the cup of tea. "I'm sorry, but I guess I kind of own you now... I mean, I can change your form and use you both as weapons if I had to, but I won't. I mean, not without your permission. My father was very clear to teach me everything that came with what I am and hell, and spirits."

Sasha watches Martin shuffle over and hand her a mug of tea.

"I hope you still like it with two sugars and almond milk." Martin smiles softly.

Sasha smiles back. "I do, but can I uh yaknow...."

Martin blinks and pauses for a moment. "Oh, uh yeah, you can, just like how he can sleep again. You're not technically dead anymore, I mean, if you don't want to, I can uh change that.... temporarily."

"No, no, I mean..." Sasha takes a long sip and sighs happily. "I missed this. I don't really remember what it was like being dead, but uh I think that's the point."

"In a sense, I guess. The reason you probably don't recall much is that you haven't been dead that long as well. Also, I have a feeling he has a reason for this er situation." Martin rubs the back of his neck. "Things aren't exactly great."

Sasha frowns and moves over. "Well, it seems like we've got a time, mind filling me in what happened after I died."

Martin nods. "It's a lot, and uh, you kind of got replaced by a fear stranger."

"I was replaced?" Sasha raised her brow.

Martin begins to explain.

.....

The door slammed open after Elias opened it, and he was pressed against his wall. "Mr. Stoker, it's quite fascinating that you've found my residence, but as I told Miss. King killing me will only cause strife."

"Shut the fuck up you fucking monster." Tim growled a knife in his hands. "It's bad enough I literally can't be without the institute, but you fucking marked me."

Elias raised his brow with genuine surprise. "Excuse me?"

Tim huffed, pushing Elias down. He nearly ripped his shirt off, taking it off to show a detailed marking around his chest that traveled to his back. It's a mix of spiderwebs, flames, cracks, and fire. "It's not enough we are fucking trapped you brand me?"

Elias stares at the marking with pure awe. "There's no ink in the markings." He couldn't keep the surprise and curiosity out of his voice. "Did you wake up with that? It's not from a fear. What is that?"

Tim stepped back as Elias got up. He swallows and frowns. "You didn't do this?"

"No, but I want to know what did." Elias frowns when Tim smacks his hand away.

"Don't touch me." Tim scowls and puts his shirt back on. "So I'm assuming you didn't pretend to be my dead brother or Sasha in my dream then."

"Whatever you think of me, Timothy, I can not cause pleasant dreams. Comes with working for an entity made for fear." Elias dusts himself off. "However, I'm willing to hear more."

Tim frowns as he feels something rub against his leg and notices a cat. He furrows his brows as he stares at the tiny creature.

"Timothy, I do have my own pets and hobbies besides whatever you think I do." Elias chuckles. "Now tell me why you think I had any sway over this? You haven't been touched by any of the fears besides well the ones you've already encountered."

Tim huffs. "Because out of everyone you would claim to be the devil."

Elias looked truly puzzled longer than he would have liked. "The devil? Honestly, Timothy, if you didn't have these markings, I would find you ornately insane for that claim. Demons and angels don't exist, and any record is merely a trick from another fear."

Tim crossed his arms as a second cat joined at his feet. "You're quick to dismiss that."

"Well, that's because..." Elias doesn't get to finish as the two cats hiss and a deep voice chuckles.

A man with bloody red hair and black eyes seem to have appeared from nothing smiles at the two. He adjusts his pitch-black suit and tilts his head. "You would think someone as old as you would keep old superstitions alive, but alas, the hubris becomes my gain." His voice is deep and eerie. His shoes click inhumanity against the carpeted floor. He reaches out and tilts Elias's chin up. "A little on the nose with the eyes, don't you think?" He turns to Tim and moves his hand away.

Elias holds his chin like the touch is ice. He goes to speak, but no sound comes from his lips.

The man tilts his head. "Your brother did try to warn you, but you agreed before he could even tell you fully." The man laughs deep, and it frightened both men in the room. "My son has been doing his best, but a father has the right to worry, and your brother gave me the perfect opportunity to meddle." He reaches out and cups Tim's face with both hands. "You will see your brother again, and you'll make a great husband to my son and maybe even a strong enough demon to match him one day or not he would still care for you." He smiles with too many teeth and sends shivers down Tim's spine. He lets go of Tim and turns back to Elias. "You know it's people like you that give me a bad name."

Elias tries to say something but again is met with silence.

"Well, I mean, it's not your fault. It's humanity as a whole, I guess." The man snaps, and Elias gasps finally making noise again as he grips his throat. "It doesn't matter much now, does it? Oh, I'm just rambling now. Now, with my introduction out of the way, I wish you both the best of the rest of your weekend." He tilts his head.

"What are you?" Elias spits out actual fear in his eyes as he locks eyes with Tim before both stare at the man.

The man smiles. "I'm something you don't believe in. That's the thing you might not think I'm real, but I assure you I exist, Jonah." He laughs deep and eerily, sending chills down both men's backs as he vanishes in front of their eyes.

Elias stared, wided eyed at the empty space.

Tim turned and ran out of the luxurious flat and didn't stop running till he was back in his apartment.

......

Martin stares at his phone and groans. "Tim isn't answering any messages."

Sasha is enjoying being the same size of the chocolate bar next to her she is eating from. "I can tell you where he lives."

"I'm not just going to show up to his apartment. I told you about Jon and his stalking. Which looking back really shitty paranoid behavior." Martin pauses. "Bloody hell, he probably thinks I'm a Satanist. I only recently got rid of all the pentagram and er... you don't need to know that. I may have gone a bit overboard after the worms."

Danny, on the other side of the chocolate bar, wipping his messy face with equally messy hands. "I still have no idea what you mean by worm incident."

"And I didn't know Tim had a brother." Martin raised his brow.

Danny huffs. "Well, I didn't expect to be killed by an evil clown creature. I also didn't mean to traumatized Tim." He sighs. "I told him he didn't have to come with me. I didn't want to drag him down to anything dangerous, let alone risk him getting killed. Yeah, I know he's my older brother, and he's supposed to protect me, but still."

Martin sighs and snaps, making himself roughly the same size as the other two and breaks off a piece of chocolate. "I don't really know what it's like to have a sibling, I wasn't really supposed to happen. My father is asexual and demiromanic. My mother tried to baby trap him by drugging him and having me." He sighs. "Never understood how he still could love me."

Sasha frowns and shuffles closer to Martin. "Hey, nobody asks to be born, you know." She hums. "Well, now you're stuck with both of us, and Tim."

Danny moves to Martin's other side. "Don't say my brothers name like he's some consultation prize. My brother's a catch."

Martin snickers. "Danny, Sasha's aromantic."

"Tim's a good fuck though." Sasha chuckles as Danny chokes on his bite of chocolate.

Danny cosses his arms. "You're a menace, and don't you ever talk about my brother like that."

"Tim is kind of a slut, but like in a gentleman kind of way." Sasha smiles softly watching Martin try and fail to hold back his laughter.

Danny sputters. "Tim's suffering right now and you're calling him a slut? You're actually awful. Why did I even ask for your help?"

Sasha giggles.

Martin waves his hands and immediately stops laughing when his phone rings he stumbles as he returns to his normal size and answers it. "Hello?..... ah Tim, yes l... er no, I don't think so.... uh yeah, you can come over... I mean, I don't have a guest room, but ... ok, that's fine. I'll see you soon then."

Danny gets up and runs to the edge of the counter. "That was Tim. What happened? Is he coming over? Fuck that means I have to clean up."

"He's coming over, um actually he asked to stay a bit something about a stranger watching his apartment, which I mean we are trying to stop the unknowing, so that could be the case." Martin frowns and waves his hand, and both Sasha and Danny return to their normal size sitting on the counter. "I shouldn't have you both tiny when he's over."

"Dibs on first shower and be nice to my brother!" Danny rushes over to the bathroom.

Sasha chuckles. "I don't mean to laugh he has missed a lot. Is Tim really that uh well... Danny mentioned it has happened before but uh."

"He's really angry, Sasha." Martin frowns messing with his sleeve. "He tried to take a trip to run away, and he just got sicker and sicker until he got back. Not to mention the whole stalking incident with Jon following him. Things have been really bad for everyone. I'm trying to stay positive, but I feel as if it's making things worse. I can't just suddenly go surprise I'm not human, and I'm trying to stop the end of the world like all of you." He sighs, hiding his hands, which now have sharp claws. "Sorry, it's hard to hide my inhumane nature with you guys under my control. I enjoy pretending to be human too much, it seems. You must think I'm awful."

Sasha pulls him into a hug. "Martin, you're one of the best guys I've ever met. I don't care that you're not human. You're still Martin, right?"

Martin nods and quickly wipes the tears from his face. "Yeah, I'm still me."

"Then who cares what you are. I certainly don't, and I'm not just saying that because I want to steal and wear one of your sweaters." Sasha breaks out in a grin as Martin laughs softly.

"You can just ask." Martin smiles.

"Nah, the heartfelt guilt trip was needed." Sasha smiles back wider.

"I really did miss you, even if I didn't know you were gone till the not you tried to kill us." Martin sighs.

Sasha chuckles. "I think that means I get two sweaters."

Martin chuckles. "Ok ok fine. You drive a hard bargin."

Sasha giggles. "I know what I'm worth."

......

The knock on the door is answered by Martin because Sasha kept Danny from lunging at the door. Tim stands at the door slightly disheveled. A faint smell of ash comes off of him he's in an old black t-shirt and sweatpants. He had a large suitcase next to him and looked embarrassed. "Hey Martin, I'm sorry for the short notice."

Martin smiles softly. "Don't worry about it. I know how awful things are, and well, it's better not to be alone, right?"

Tim nods and raises a tired brow when Martin stops him. "What?"

"Look before you come in. I do have to warn you. I mean, not warn, but uh...." Martin is cut off by Danny shouting.

"TIM GUESS WHO'S BACK FROM THE DEAD!" Danny shouts, and Martin flinched.

"He bit my bloody hand!" Sasha shouts after.

Martin covers his face as Tim looks like a deer in headlights and promptly passes out.

.......

Tim takes a deep breath from his spot on the couch. "So that wasn't a dream."

"Well, it was." Danny corrects. "Dreams are an access point for supernatural creatures to use to talk to the living. So prophetic dreams do hold weight if you actually realize you're talking to something, not human." He rubs the back of his neck. "I've had a bit of time on my hands being dead, so I decided to do research on how to get back to apologize for everything, I guess. Then I got into other things, and well, now we're here."

Sasha hums, sipping her tea. "To be fair, he roped me in by accident, but I'm not hating the situation. Although the marriage thing isn't where I thought he would take it."

Martin groans, covering his face.

Tim gives a heavy sigh. "I'm sorry, Martin."

"Don't apologize. It's not your fault it's your brother's, and I'm starting to realize you can't control that man into any sane decisions, only extremes." Martin uncovered his face. "It's also based on consent, so you did have to agree to it.... my consent doesn't exactly matter in the equation because for demons, I'm considered a minor, so my father had to approve the decision. This means that Danny really annoyed him enough, or he created a loophole in the situation that he can return to the living world. Actually, it's probably the later half. The fears have been er awful to any other supernatural they have to put effort into uh doing anything to them. I want to stop the end of the world because I thought if I could, they would get their freedom back and not be stuck in their realms or forced into hiding." He frowns deeper. "I don't know much about what happened to the other species. I was too young, and my father didn't feel comfortable telling me. Just because I try so hard to be human still doesn't mean I'm human. I'm sorry you're stuck slowly turning to a demon and stuck with me." He hides his clawed hands and hugs his chest.

Tim reaches out and pats Martin's thigh. "I think this is stopping next from actually killing myself. I mean, I had a feeling that whatever it meant to destroy the circus, I knew I would go with it." He forces a smile. "Martin, you're the best out of all of us. I'm sorry you're stuck with me."

Danny crosses his arms. "Tim, would you quit that you're a catch."

"Not the time or point." Tim huffs and crosses his arms as well.

"Well that's out if the way is it too early to ask that I can come back to the archives to fuck with everyone? I think Jon deserves it because of the stalking thing." Sasha smiles knowing she is breaking the tension and relaxing everyone.

"If Sasha gets to do that, can I pretend to be you? I want to see what a weird cursed archive is like." Danny hums.

"No, you can't pretend to be me." Tim rolls his eyes.

"Fine, then can I hide in your pocket?" Danny gives Tim a look.

"My pocket? Danny you are a fully grown man, for fucks sake you're taller than me." Tim pinched his brow.

"I can change that..." Martin interjected.

"What?" Tim stares at Martin then back to Danny, who has basically shrunk down to pocket size.

"I can fit in your awful Hawaiian shirts!" Danny smirks at his brother.

"To be fair, that is a perk since we can eat a normal chocolate bar, but it becomes the size of us." Sasha says before sipping her tea.

"My Hawaiian shirts are not awful." Tim breaks out in a small genuine smile. He picks up his brother. "You still have no taste."

"I have a better taste than you." Danny huffs, sticking out his tongue. He stops and gasps. "I'll be pocket Danny. I'll be like clippy and give you advice from your pocket."

"You've been dead over five years, Danny. I highly doubt your advice will be relevant." Sasha raised her brow.

"I know more about the supernatural than he does." Danny rolls his eyes.

"Can you help with the fears?" Tim raised his brow.

"No." Danny crosses his arms. "But I still think it's a good idea."

"You just want the excuse to stay small." Sasha chuckles knowing she hit the nail on the head.

"If he wants it, I can keep him like that." Martin rubs his arm. "I have full control over his form, among other things."

Tim sighs and relents. "Fine, you can stay in my pocket, but you have to behave."

Danny jumps happy. "Fuck yeah pocket Danny is happening."

Tim wipes his eyes. "I missed you."

Danny smiles. "I know, but now you can't get rid of me."

.......

Tim stretches, and for sleeping on the couch, it wasn't as uncomfortable as he thought it would be. Martin kept insisting he took the bed, but he crashed his apartment, and it was only fair that he took the couch. Soft, quiet snores to his side from his brother on a bed made for a doll, and Sasha was in the same position on the other end table. He never thought he would be able to see or talk to either of them ever again, but he's happy with this even if it's odd.

Tim sits up and rubs his eyes. He turned his attention to a new noise, and it was Martin. He did not expect to see him in just boxers and realize a few things. The fat chub was hiding muscle underneath like an actual strongman. He has a long ass tail that seems to glow at the end. Freckles cover his body, and he has the same markings as him. "Morning."

Martin freezes, and his tail stands up and seems to glow brighter, but Tim realizes that a blue flame at the end of his tail. "I oh... uh, I'm sorry. Did I wake you?"

Tim shakes his head. "I've always been early to rise, Martin. The depression has only made it worse." He gets off the couch and walks closer to Martin, who was holding his tail like a security blanket. "Are you ok?"

Martin gets a blush on his cheeks. "I uh just a bit jittery." He holds his tail closer. "I'm not exactly used to actively having to suppress my powers and outward appearance. Having Sasha and Danny er didn't make me stronger not in any way that truly matters, it's more so the fact that I have them my demonic half is overtaking my human half faster than before which means soon I'll be as strong as I am in hell. I know that sounds weird, but that's as well as I can describe it." He sighs. "I like being human or at the very least pretending to be human."

"Why haven't you burned anything?" Tim bit his lip. It's been a long time since he joked around or purposely asked dumb questions, but he needed to distract Martin from spiraling.

Martin furrows his brow and looks down at his tail. "I uh... well, my dad said it's like a ghost flame. It won't affect anything unless I want it, too, or I focus on it. I can control myself." He stops and sighs. "I mean I uh..."

"Can I touch it?" Tim was already reaching out.

Martin nearly jumps at the new touch. "Most people don't like it."

"The fire's cold." Tim stared at it in awe. "It's kind of cute."

"C-cute?" Martin doesn't pull his tail back even as Tim rubs the soft, short fur.

"I mean, yeah. It's also soft like velvet. I can feel your muscle under the skin, too." Tim stops, and let's go. "Sorry, I probably shouldn't uh pet you like that. I mean, it's your body. I didn't even wait for the consent."

Martin shakes his head. "N-no, it's fine." He drops his tail, and it curls around his legs loosely. "Most people are either disgusted by it or well, not good things. I'm glad you don't mind it. I mean, it makes me feel better that my husband isn't disgusted by my body."

"Thoes people are idiots." Tim smiles. "Well, I hope you like my body too."

"I mean, you're a bit thin..." Martin tries to keep a straight face, but he starts to giggle, and Tim joins him.

"Ah, I knew the depressed not eating would be my downfall." Tim chuckles. "Well we can fix that with breakfast."

Martin smiles. "Breakfast is a good start." He pauses. "Thank you... I mean, thank you for not freaking out about all of this. We don't ever have to be close or anything. I know you could probably do better than me, but just so you know, we can just be friends and nothing more."

Tim hums. "Now I'm going to take that as a challenge to make you fall for me."

"Tim, be serious." Martin huffs. "I'll make some eggs. You can use the bathroom first." He quickly shuffles to the kitchen to start cooking.

Tim's nerves were raw, and he felt excited. It's such a wild thing going from being nunb and angry to these bubbling feelings of happiness, relief, and something else he won't label. He made his way to the bathroom with a small smile. He was actually looking forward to tomorrow. He can't remember when he felt like that.

.....

"Where's Tim?" Danny was normal sized and rushing around Martin's apartment only had woken up ten minutes ago.

"On a morning run." Martin sighs and rubs his eyes. "We both woke up too early for a Sunday."

Sasha hums, eating her name covered toast. "If you didn't sleep like the dead, you would have been able to see him before he left like I did."

Danny rolls his eyes. "Don't be so obnoxious." He sighs. "Are you ok?" He motions to Martin who was swaying.

Martin nods. "Mmh, fine, just a spirit close by that, er..." He sighs. "I've never made my first deal yet, and that means I'm very sensitive to others who desire to make a deal. I can normally ignore it, but things have changed."

"So you have a need to take someone soul er spirit?" Sasha raised her brow.

Martin waves his hands. "No, nothing like that. Every demon needs to make at least one deal. It's kind of like the final step of puberty. If I do it, that means my human half will finally be all gone, but I will have to eventually do it, even if it's just a spirit asking for final words to be passed on and in exchanged I could just ask for advice." He crosses his arms. "But since my father is who they are, my first deal will end up with me having that spirit or when that person dies spirit with me like you guys. I don't have control over that. It has to do with my strength and powers. Spirits are a way to conduct or restrain it, so it's not a major issue. You two help me more than you realize even if it doesn't look like it."

"So then, using us as weapons means you're even stronger?" Danny pauses as Martin nods. "That is pretty cool, but another question you can't release us, you wouldn't be able to release the other one as well?"

"For my first deal, yeah. Hence why I'm not exactly so keen on finding a stranger or being lured by a stranger." Martin frowns. "My dad's spirits from what I can remember are close to him, like family. I haven't been able to see or talk to my father since I was 13, though."

"What if we help? I mean, well, be stuck with them, too." Sasha swallows her final bite.

"Ooo yeah, we can judge and give scores." Danny nods along.

"You two don't have to be close." Martin rubs his arm. "You already knew that, didn't you."

Danny and Sasha share a look and nod.

Martin sighs. "You guys want to be close?"

"I mean, I already viewed Tim as a brother. He's my best friend, and I mean Danny is obnoxious, and a little childish, but he isn't a bad guy and if we are going to be around a long time I rather be around people I care about." Sasha smiles. "Besides eternity alone sounds like a nightmare."

"Rude." Danny huffs and breaks out in a smile. "However, she's right. I know how this stuff works, and it would kind of be awful if none of us got along. Like imagine us fighting in your head while you use us."

Martin makes a face. "I would very much not like to imagine that." He smiles softly. "Alright, fine, but you guys can't have a say. I literally can't take you guys with me when I'm summoned."

"You can be summoned?" Sasha blinks.

Martin makes a motion with his hand. "I mean kind of, I don't have my own summoning circle yet due to not making my first deal, but at this moment I was be dragged off to whatever spirit or person has the strongest desire for a deal whatever that entails."

"Is that why you didn't sleep?" Danny hums.

Sasha stares at Danny then to Martin who looked a bit guilty.

Martin sighs heavily. "Yeah, that's why I haven't slept. I can't exactly control things or actively stop myself from being summoned."

Sasha and Danny share a glance.

Martin huffs. "You can't watch me sleep. My physical body won't come with me if it's a spirit who summons me. If the person is alive, it would be physical. If they aren't, then I won't have to be physical, and that means I won't look human." He bites his lip. "Only my father has seen me in my true form, and even then, I didn't even finish puberty. I probably look really different."

Danny rushed over, surprising Martin with a hug. "Alright, big guy, that's enough of that. I bet you look like an awesome demon and you'll be Tim's type."

"How?" Martin blinks in surprise.

"Tim has a thing for creatures." Danny shrugs. "Never understood the fascination, but I can tell you the stuff I found of his growing up."

"Please don't." Martin pushes Danny away as Sasha giggles.

"Was the not me at least hot?" Sasha wiggles her eyebrows.

"No?" Martin tilts his head.

"Yes." Tim interrupts, shutting the door behind him. "Also, you can't ask Martin that he doesn't find the female figure attractive."

Martin opens his mouth and then shuts it, nodding in defeat.

"I want to know what the not me looked like now." Sasha hums.

Danny huffs rushing his brother. "You're an ass you could have taken me with you on your run."

Tim chuckles. "You never woke up early enough to run with me even as kids."

"You're terrible. Go back to being angry and depressed." Danny rolls his eyes.

"Now, who's awful?" Tim playfully punches him, and he did feel lighter.

"Still you." Danny smirks.

Tim rolls his eyes. "I can't believe I missed you."

"You're only saying that because now you can't get rid of me." Danny pulls Tim into a hug.

"Dude, let go. I'm sweaty and gross." Tim can't stop smiling.

"Nah, you stink normally. I got used to it." Danny laughs as Tim pushes him away.

Tim gives him the middle finger as he heads to take a shower.

......

"So, should I also be pocket-sized tomorrow?" Sasha hums, lowering the volume on the TV.

Martin was doing his best to stay awake and didn't hear the question.

Tim raised his brow. "Honestly, I don't think you ever quit or got fired, so you would technically be returning to work."

"Besides, I'm already going to be pocket-sized." Danny hums shutting his book. "I also have no experience with the fears besides what killed me, so I really don't know how to handle basically a sanctuary for the Beholder."

"I did also threaten Elias yesterday." Tim frowns. "Granted, a man with black eyes showed up and scared his cats."

"You threatened Elias?" Sasha raised her brow.

"To be fair, it's not like we can get fired or quit, and secondly, I thought he caused the markings and the dream." Tim sighs. "He's also a dick and a murderer so I feel justified."

"Martin did tell us about that, but in Elias's defense, Leitner had it coming." Sasha shrugs.

"I hate that I agree with that, but you're right. That old man had it coming." Tim hums, sipping his tea. "I also don't feel bad that he tried to frame Jon, but that's because he was stalking me because he thought I killed Gertrude, which Elias also did."

Danny nods. "A point in your favor."

"I don't need you keeping score." Tim rolls his eyes.

"Did the man with black eyes have red hair?" Sasha pursed her lips.

"He did. Why?" Tim frowns.

"You can't say it's the same devil we dealt with that feels kind of racist... speciest? I dunno it sounds bad." Danny crosses his arms.

"I mean to be fair, it could be, and that demon could be Martin's father." Sasha shrugs.

"You would be correct." A deep voice interrupts, scaring the three who are awake.

Tim curses.

Danny jumps.

Sasha nearly bites through her lip.

The redheaded man with black eyes smiles. "A shame I came a bit too late. It seems my boy fell asleep." He leans over the couch, and he reeks of ash and smoke. "Your brother is quite clever. He spent his time dead well. You, however, weren't supposed to die that young, I can't tell you how many reapers are furious at the fears toying with lives."

Tim swallows. "What do you want?"

"I want a lot of things." The man laughs. "However, for the moment, I wish to talk to my son. I will, however, not rouse him from sleep. He's a growing boy and needs his rest." He smiles fondly, snapping his fingers and changing the couch so Martin is lying down. "He's grown so much."

Sasha smiles softly before returning her attention to the man. "Who are you?"

"I go by many names. Dunno what I'll choose today or tomorrow. People tend to decide for me. I do like the name Jack, though." The man sighs. "I don't know what he would like from me. I won't stay. I know I frighten you three. I curse his mother, but him, my boy, did nothing wrong and deserves more than I can do or give."

Tim speaks up. "He wants to speak with you." He flinched as the man focused his gaze on him.

"When he wakes, I shall return." He brushes the hair out of Martin's face. "I can not wake him from this."

"You don't have to go." Danny waves his hands nervously. "I mean, wouldn't it be better for you to stay and wait?"

The man hums low and dark, scratching his goatee. "I suppose I can stay." He frowns and stands up, shifting his weight, trying to be less intimidating. He knew the three were terrified of him and only were being polite. He wasn't quite good at being approachable or not scary.

Sasha gets up from the couch. "I'm not as good as Martin, but I can make you some tea." She smiles nervously.

"That wouldn't be necessary, but it would be kind." The man nods.

Sasha nods and rushes to the kitchen to start on the tea.

.....

The man struggled against his binds. He looked like a three-dimensional object was forced on a two-dimensional plane, which was incredibly painful. He was screaming and begging for freedom at any cost, cursing the person who trapped him on the page.

A new noise filled the air as the screams stopped as the man was freed. Soft clicks of legs and spider legs against a hard surface approached. A monster stood over the man who barely had the strength to look up.

"Please, I just want to die." The man was weak and his voice soft and quiet. He stared up at the monster as they reached for him, pulling him up. "I don't want to serve a fear. I just... I'm so tired." He feels a sharp tug in his chest as a chain forms, attaching himself to the monster.

The monsters voice was softer than the man would expect. A clawed hand brushed the hair out of his face and smiled with too many teeth. "You're already dead. I can't kill something twice." They pick up the man. "I'm sorry for accepting your deal."

The man felt newfound strength as he was carried. "What? What did you do to me?"

"You asked to be freed from that prison, and I accepted the deal. Unfortunately for you, this was my first ever deal, so you're stuck with me, and I apologize." The monsters feet clicked against whatever they were walking against in an extremely calming manner.

"I'm stuck with you?" The man finally looks into the eight eyes of the monster.

"I can summon you and change your form to my will." The monster pauses. "N-not that it will hurt, you won't feel it, I promise that. I, uh, I mean.. this is weird. I'm sorry."

The man tilts his head. "You don't have experience with this."

"Not much, really, and the other two already knew what they were getting into.... well, one did and just informed the other." The monster uses his other arms to cover his face. "You'll be able to live again, or whatever you choose to do, I can make sure you're in a form to do it."

"I'll be able to be me again?" The man stares up at the monster.

"If you want." The monster rubs the back of their neck. "Uh, I do have two others like you. They can eat sleep and don't mind me changing their form. They enjoy being made the size of a doll to eat, however, since the food is so big in comparison."

The man stares at the monster in awe. "You allow that?"

"W-why wouldn't I? I don't want them to be miserable. We are figuring this out together, and the least I can do is to make things better for them. I know we won't ever be on equal footing due to the nature of this situation." They hold the chain from the man's chest. "I just never want to force you guys to be unhappy. We are now stuck together."

"You're very kind for being a fear." The man let's a smile slip.

"I'm not a fear creature... er avatar? I don't know what the proper term is." The monster looks nervous. "My name is Martin, and I'm a demon. Other beings exist besides the fear gods, even if they kind of forced everyone else to well that isn't isn't important my my father knows more than me." Martin whines. "I'm sorry I'm talking your ears off and just rambling about things that make no sense."

"Gerry." The man smiles. "My name is Gerard Keay, but you can call me Gerry. Also, what kind of demon name is Martin?"

"M-mine?" Martin stutters. "My mom named me."

"Not really creative." Gerry raised his brow and snickers.

Martin pauses and smiles. "I suppose it's not. I don't think Gerry is that special either."

Gerry laughs softly. "Nope." He sighs. "Where are we even going?"

"I'm going back to my body, and you'll be reforming in my being. Well, just until you can reform physically. I can try to summon you to make it faster." Martin hums, rubbing his neck. "But you can also wait and rest as long as you need."

"How long?" Gerry frowns.

"However long you want." Martin smiles.

"That sounds nice." Gerry smiles back. "Probably won't take too long. I want to meet the others chained to you."

"You have all the time you want." Martin stops walking. "For the moment, I welcome you to my being, and I think you'll learn about everything you need while you rest inside. I don't know. I'm very new to this." With a free hand, he snaps, and a bed appears. "You rest, and I have to wake up now.... well, I have to return to my body."

Gerry yawns and nods. The bed was the softest, comfyiest bed he had ever been in. "Thank you."

Martin nods and vanishes from view.

......

Martin rubbed his chest, and he could feel Gerry in his very core. It wasn't bad, per say, just weird. He opened his eyes and heard a loud argument he knew one voice was Tim, and the other sounded old fashioned. He sat up and turned his head to see Tim with a whiteboard and a man with a different whiteboard, pointing at things he didn't really understand. Danny looked confused, and Sasha was holding back laughter and... oh...

The man with black eyes locked eyes with Martin and smiled, and suddenly, he was sitting next to him. "Your husband mentioned a certain architect, and he just so happens to be one of my spirits I've made permanent, among others." He hums. "They've been having a very lively discussion on modern architecture compared to the historical."

"I remember him. Do you still have his friends?" Martin pauses as the man nods. "I uh... I missed you."

"You did?" The man breaks out in a smile. "I want more time with you if you so allow it."

"I would like that, dad." Martin turns his attention back to the heated argument. "Do you know who's er... winning?"

"I have to admit both men have their points and have their flaws in each of their arguments. However, I'm not an expert in the topic, so I wouldn't know." He smiles. "I think I like the title of dad."

Martin smiles a bit wider. "I would hope so."

The man chuckles low and dark. "Should I stop him?"

"No, they both seem to be having fun." Martin sighs and rubs his chest.

"You've made your first deal." The man hums and hands him an ice pack. "A quite damaged spirit as well, use this, it will help with the bruising."

Martin takes the ice pack and places it to his chest. "How did you know?"

"A few reasons, however, your power is cradling them as they heal. I can recognize the damage from the fears. I'm sorry I used your friends as a way to return to the surface. I am a selfish creature, and I wanted to see my son again, and I want a way to get even."

"You wanted to see me?" Martin couldn't keep the hopeful tone out of his voice.

The man pulls Martin in a half hug. "Your mother, I curse, but you've done nothing wrong, and I think I like being a dad." He brushed the hair out of Martin's face. "I wish to have been there for you, but I am here now. Your mother has stolen something I can not conceive ever to return. However I have you now if you'll have me."

"I would like to get to know you." Martin smiles softly. "And I would like you to know me."

"I would like that very much." The man sighs as a marker is thrown, and he catches it. "Robert, I told you not to throw things." Black eyes lock with green.

"And I need your attention to settle an argument." A Scottish accent with a slight hint of annoyance comes from the man.

Martin raised his brow, watching his father appear next to Robert.

"What is so pressing you interrupt me with my son?" The man crosses his arms and leans over him. This intimates the others in complete silence.

Robert huffs. "You're not going to get any meaningful conversation with a man who just woke up." He turns his head and points to the whiteboard. "Barnabas, can you grab him? Our conversation has turned, and I have a post to prove that this Elias is Jonah."

The man chuckles. "I can tell you that is correct. Although the Beholder methods are crude, Jonah has no choice in who he takes over. I did promise you both to take him, he however believes me to be a myth."

"That's why you called Elias, Jonah." Tim pauses and sighs. "Fuck that makes so much sense in hindsight."

"Is that why he looks so odd?" Martin interrupts.

"Wait, what do you mean by that?" Sasha raised her brow.

The man hums and nods. "My boy isn't human. He can see things you couldn't. The fears barely have a grasp on humanity, which means things don't fit perfectly or correctly. A being who isn't human can see those flaws. It's a reason why the fears have forced us away in a polite sense to the reality of what they've done." He frowns. "Let's just say some humans you've met shouldn't be human. Such as yourself, Timothy, and your brother. I knew your mother before... ah, well, that's enough of that."

Tim furrows his brows. "What do you mean by that?"

Danny places a hand on Tim's shoulder. "I can explain later... it's not exactly a happy story."

Tim frowns and crosses his arms.

The man sighs and frowns. "I apologize. I've overstepped."

Robert shakes his head. "They will find out eventually like we did."

Martin has gotten up and walked next to his father. "Can you explain to us now? I mean, just what the fears did. You've never told me."

The man sighs and snaps his fingers, and the apartment shifts, and everyone is sitting at a round table. "I suppose you are old enough to understand and comprehend the weight of the horrors. The real pain started ages ago, but I shall shorten it to the time before you were born about five years before that...."

......

The apartment was silent as the man returned everything back to normal. "I apologize for changing your apartment."

Martin shakes his head. "Don't be, I'll have to figure out how to do it, eventually." He swallows. "Tim, are you ok?"

Tim had his arms wrapped around his chest, and he swallows. "Are you sure that's what I am?"

"Yes, and you should start to wear glasses. The human half of you will become demonic, and that has a chance to trigger your true genetics." The man sighs. "I apologize again for what I've told you. The truth is not an easy thing to grasp."

Robert pats Tim's shoulder. "As someone who had to face this two hundred years ago, I understand your confusion and frustration."

Tim nods. "I have glasses. I normally wear contacts." He allows Danny to take him into a guest room the man creates.

Sasha covers her mouth. "It was like an extinction event, but they're still around?"

"Forced to be human or trapped in their own worlds, or in cases like Timothy and Daniel's mother mind wiped clean and replaced with different memories." The man gives Martin a hug. "I again apologize for using your friends and forcing you in a marriage to free myself."

Martin hugs back tightly. "I would have asked you to do it again. Will you help me? No, us stop this unknowing?"

"Of course, to the best of my abilities. Keep getting stronger, my little flame. Maybe we can finally tip the scales and help fix what was broken and stolen." He smiles. "I have to go, but I'll be back."

Martin nods and watches his father vanish with Robert in tow. He rubs the tears on his face. "I'm sorry."

"Fucking don't apologize." Sasha huffs and walks over to Martin grabbing his arm. "Fuck feeling bad I died and now I'm back and you're going to use me to fix this and hurt these fears. I mean, that sounded wrong, but it's true. I want to train together and we can help everyone."

Martin cracks a smile. "Thank you, Sasha. What about work?"

"Fuck it I was never fired I'm going in tomorrow and we're going to work from the inside out. I mean, ugh, we're going to tell the others, and we are going to be able to do something." Sasha sighs, and let's go. "Also, probably stop Tim from attacking Jon if Jon is back."

"Yeah..." Martin sighs. "Tim has a support system again, and Jon doesn't, and if he spirals, it won't be good, and he doesn't deserve to be attacked. I mean, he doesn't even have his apartment anymore he lives in the archives." He frowns and bites his nail. "Shoot I promised I wouldn't say anything."

"That's really depressing." Sasha's frown deepens. "Yeah, help Jon is going to the top of the list among other things."

Martin rubs his chest.

"You need a new ice pack." Sasha heads to the freezer and takes out a bag of frozen vegetables. "This will work."

Martin nods and takes it, placing it against his chest. "Y-yeah have to talk to Tim."

"I'll talk to Tim and Danny. You need to rest." Sasha crossed her arms. "I'll explain everything while you nap on the couch."

Martin knew better than to argue and headed to the couch his father modified.

......

Sasha enters the new guest room to find Danny comforting Tim on the bed. "Hey, is it alright if we three talk?"

Tim swallows and nods. "What about?"

"Work, the Magnus Institute, Jon, and Martin, I guess." Sasha sighs and sits on the other side of Tim. "Didn't know Jon was homeless."

"Jon's homeless?" Tim raised his brow, then shook his head. "Makes sense, Elias did frame him for murder for a bit."

"Shouldn't we call him Jonah?" Danny interjects.

Tim shrugs.

Sasha sighs. "Martin wants you to go easy on him. He's still the best out of all of us."

"I'm the worst." Tim groans, laying back. "I know depression anger and whatever, but still. He's still so kind, and now we're married, and he still asks if I'm ok with everything. He didn't even have a choice, and I thought I was going crazy. I know it's only been two days, but still, I don't know what to do."

"You can start with an actual date." Danny lays down next to his brother. "But the other stuff we have, I don't know."

Sasha looks over the two men. "I told Martin we should tell the others in the archives the truth."

"They will think we're crazy without proof." Tim pauses, then sits up. "I mean, logically, they would think you both are strangers disguised as dead loved ones, and hence try to kill you both."

"You... they won't be able to." Danny stretches out on the bed. "You can't kill something twice first off, and second, if they do damage us enough, we'll be like that new spirit with Martin healing inside of his being, hence the ice pack. Did he ever give us a name?"

"No, and I have to ask. Are you guys ok with that?" Tim frowns and rubs his arm.

"The thing is, it had to happen, so we don't really have a say, but I don't know the guy or gal, so I can't make any judgments." Sasha sighs.

"Whoever they are, their spirit was ripped to shreds." Danny sits back up. "The sheer amount of damage to hurt someone with Martin's level of power just to heal is astonishing they were probably begging for a second death from the pain." He crosses his arms. "Time doesn't move the same when you're dead and come to. I've had a lot of time on my hands, and I used that to learn everything I could about my situation and what I was. In doing that, I learned a lot about demons and deals and why having spirits binded to them is important, especially those who are the most powerful, like Martin and his father and multiple spirits are mandatory unless you want an apocalyptic disaster to happen. I'm rambling, but to tell you the truth, I'm not upset at the situation, and I'm glad I dragged you both into the mess."

"First off, I never said I was upset to be in this situation, and second, I feel bad for the new guy." Sasha frowns. "I can't imagine being hurt that bad."

Tim shakes his head. "That's horrid."

Danny sighs and frowns. "We have time to tell about tomorrow." He grabs his brother's arm. "Stop being so harsh on yourself. You know, once Martin made his first deal, he could have broken your marriage, and he didn't. It could have been a number of reasons, but it's definitely not because he hates you."

"Would that stop me from uh yaknow..." Tim stops as Danny shakes his head. "Ah, right, so how long till I lose my legs?"

"You're acting as if that's a bad thing." Danny huffs and rolls his eyes. "Think about how good you'll be at hugs you can put your whole body into it."

"Male snakes also have two dicks." Sasha chuckles at Tim's groan. "Come on, what you don't like jokes anymore?"

"That's nit a joke because it's true." Tim sighs covering his face.

"How do you know that?" Sasha playfully punches Tim's arm.

"Danny's face." Tim sighs.

Danny huffs. "I told you I did a lot of reading a few biology books slipped through. You won't be entirely like a snake. You'll still have different holes and not the things snakes have . Wait, I think birds have that, too."

"Danny, please stop talking." Tim uncovers his face and glares at his brother.

"Would you be able to unhinge your jaw?" Sasha hums. "He also talked about how male presenting gorgons were nearly unheard of due to how genetics fall kind of like female orange cats."

Tim lays back down and groans. "Stop talking."

"I mean, majority of the time, they would be intersex which can screw with the numbers. However, with Tim having Medusa's blessing on top of that, the odds of that are like one in a trillion probably even lower than that." Danny hums. "I think that's pretty neat."

Tim rolls his eyes. "Can we please stop talking about me and my genetics."

Sasha chuckles. "I suppose we can talk about work tomorrow. How are we going to convince the others I'm not a stranger and that I'm not a threat?"

"Polaroids can prove you're not a stranger, but everything else I don't know." Tim sits back up and crosses his arms. "If Daisy will be there, she might try to kill you."

"Scary hunt cop woman?" Sasha pauses as Tim nods. "I mean, it won't kill me."

"That doesn't mean it won't hurt." Danny raised a brow.

"I mean, yeah, but let's say she won't be there. We have to come up with a way to give evidence before violence breaks out." Sasha hums. "You being pocket sized could either help or hurt that."

"I mean, we don't know, well I don't know. I've never met any of these people you have." Danny frowns. "I say fuck it if we look too rehersed than we'll be suspicious."

Tim sighs. "Alright, well, go with Danny in my pocket, and Sasha is just going back to work, and if anything happens, we'll go from there."

Danny and Sasha nod.

.......

"Jonathan, welcome back." Elias stands in the archives smiling, early enough nobody else has arrived. "I told you to call me when you arrived."

Jon rubs his eyes from his desk. "Can't you just know where I am?"

"I could, however..." Elias looks like he keeps talking, and no noise comes out, and he looks panicked for a moment, and he turns to see a familair black-eyed man.

The man chuckles low and dark, and Jon shoots up fully awake. "The reason your last name is Sims is because your father took your mother's last name." He tilts his head and smiles. "You do take after your father."

Elias raised his brow, crossing his arms with a silent huff.

Jon raised his brow. "He died when I was two...why did I tell you that?"

The man smiles. "I tend to have that effect when I so desire." His heals click against the floor as he approaches Jon. "However." He tilts Jon's head up. "You have your mother's eyes. Unfortunately, it seems the fear is taking that away from you."

Jon swallows he feels absolutely terrified. "W-what are you?"

"I can be considered many things." His grip tightens around Jon's neck as he smiles with wicked glee. "I, however, dislike that little trick of yours." The man releases Jon as fast as he choked him. "Although I cannot blame you, you're unaware of what you're becoming, not what you should be." He turns his gaze away and walks to Elias.

Elias steps back, but it's not enough.

"Your mother's name was Edith, small little thing, her own power stripped away by the man who claimed her. Trying to protect her little girl, unaware that she was a man. Humans have quite the way of poisoning the truth." He places a clawed finger under Elias's chin. "I wonder how things would have changed if you knew the truth of yourself, but all that's left is your eyes. Your little fear never lets you stay long enough to ever find out." He chuckles low and dark.

Elias can feel something wet drip down his cheek.

"Ever wonder why your body never rots?" The man laughs and vanishes.

Elias gasps and is finally able to make noise again. He wipes his face and grits his teeth. He adjusts his suit and leaves without another word.

Jon rubs his throat. For some reason, he knew that wasn't another avatar, and whatever he was scared him more than anything he has ever encountered.

......

"You look awful." Melanie pauses. "Er, welcome back."

Jon swallows his throat, which was covered in a fresh bruise. "I think a new avatar broke in."

Barisa raised a brow. "Really? Did you bring something back from America? I'm guessing it was just Elias being a creepy bastard."

"N-no it was -" Jon stops and stares behind her.

A deep dark voice chuckles. "I don't enjoy hearing him speak with a stolen voice."

Both women turn to face the black-eyed man.

Melanie tries to throw a knife, but it passes through him like he never existed. "What are.... shit."

Barisa reaches for a gun she no longer has.

The man smiles and goes to speak but is interrupted.

"Dad?" Another red head with softer features and taller than the black eye man comes through the doors to the archives.

The man smiles but softer and hums. "Martin, I'm merely introducing myself to your coworkers. You work with Toshiro's son, and unfortunately, I don't believe he enjoys my company." He chuckles lowly. "It's amusing. He believes his father to be dead and not trapped. It is fortunate he kept a name with a J, his father was amused with the English pronation of the letter."

Martin tilts his head. "Right, but why are you here?" Tim is seen behind Martin along with a woman that looked familair.

The man scratches his goatee. "To meet your friends, and to look for something stolen. Maybe a better word is missing. However, I had hoped my presence would make it easier, but I was wrong in my assumption, or I haven't been here long enough." He catches a second blade thrown by Melanie instead of letting it go through him. He doesn't look at her. "It's rude to throw things, and you should have outgrown that behavior."

"You're scaring them." Martin sighs and crosses his arms.

The man frowns. "I tend to have that effect, unfortunately. I apologize for disrupting your workplace."

Jon finds his voice and stutters. "Good lord, that's your father!?"

Martin rubs the back of his neck, and he nods. "Nothing has really started, and it's not like we can quit or be fired." He sighs. "Are you here to help?"

"Yes, but I believe I arrived too early, then I returned, and you weren't here until now." He bows. "I apologize for frightening you." He turns to Jon. "And I expect no questions from you."

Jon nods scared out of his mind.

Martin gives a heavy sighs.

Tim raised his brow. "You really have no people skills."

The man looks amused. "Forgive me, it's been a long time since I've been around normal people." He crushed the knife in his hand like it was made of tinfoil. "If you are trying to kill me, try a stronger blade or something else. It's been a long time since I've had a good assassination attempt on my life." He turns to Melanie, who pales as he hands her the ruined knife. "All in good fun, I hope."

"Martin, your father is absolutely terrifying, and I don't understand how you're not scared." The familair woman walks past Martin and goes to an empty desk.

"Time works differently where he's from." A voice comes from Tim's pocket, and a small man pokes his head out. "What may be a week or so here could be years or even decades there."

"That is true." The man smiles. "You are an odd one."

"Who's the man in your pocket?" Barisa finally speaks up.

"My brother." Tim shrugs.

"Tim's brother." Martin answers as well.

"Danny." Danny says from his brothers pocket. "I enjoy being tiny, also yes I know I died. I wouldn't be able to be this small without that being a factor yaknow."

"Why did I ever agree to keep you in my pocket?" Tim pinched his brow as his glasses slid down his nose.

"Because you love me. Also, we agreed this would be a great plan." Danny huffs climbing out of Tim's pocket and returning to normal size.

"No, you just decided it would be a great plan." The woman raised her brow.

The man chuckles. "You are quite an interesting man."

"That sounded like an insult." Danny frowns as the man smiles at him.

Martin sighs. "Let me explain before anything else happens."

......

"So just wh-" Jon clicks his mouth shut, rubbing his throat, and he tries to speak, but no sound comes out.

"Dad, give Jon his voice back." Martin crossed his arms and raised his brow.

The man snaps his fingers and frowns. "I do not appreciate the fears' powers to be used on me. I have warned him not to question me."

Danny hums and leans back, rolling his chair back. "Also, he won't ever give you an answer. I've tried. However, if you call him something, he'll just agree with you, which just adds to the er uh..." He snaps his fingers. "Fuck I forgot the word."

"Annoyance?" Tim raised his brow.

"No, that isn't it." Danny sighs. "Whatever. What I'm trying to say is that you'll never get a straight answer."

The man smiles. "I thought you enjoyed our conversations as you persuaded my library. You're the first spirit in a very long time to ever find it, let alone actually use it for its proper intended use." He leans back in his chair. "Although that knowledge won't help any of you with this so-called circus. I find the stranger fear to be odd. In order to be scared, you must have knowledge, for what is a fear to someone who doesn't understand?"

Danny shifts in his seat. "I didn't exactly come across it on purpose..."

"Oh, I know that." The man chuckles. "What confounds me, however, is that you haven't accused Daniel nor Sasha of being a stranger. You people always seem to attack first after being burned once."

Barisa frowns. "You're a good reason not to." She shifts away as his gaze shifts to her. "None of know what you're capable of, and you're not one of these fear creatures."

"Besides how can we be certain Martin is even yours he's human." Melanie huffs.

Martin looks away as eyes land on him. He sighs as he lifts up his sweater, and his tail unwraps from his waist. "I like my human form." He looks uncomfortable as he holds his tail like a security blanket. "If you need me to prove it more I c-can."

The man narrows his gaze at Melanie.

Melanie stiffens. "I apologize, Martin."

"I-its fine." Martin holds his tail closer. "It's not like he planned on having me."

The man appears next to Martin and places his hands on his shoulders. "Enough, that's enough. You don't have to explain yourself to them." Red flashes in the black pits of his eyes.

Martin reaches up and taps his arm. "Dad, don't..." He sighs and lets his tail go. "I prefer pretending to be human than being what I actually am. I was naive to think I would be able to actually stop the end of the world. I just wanted to help everyone." He frowns and rubs his chest. "We don't even know how to stop the unknowing, let alone help what was taken."

"That's not necessarily true." Jon starts speaking again, eyes trained on the man. "Gertrude had an idea on how to truly stop it, but we just don't know what that was."

The man tilts his head and hums. "Who is that?"

"Doesn't really matter who she was she's dead." Melanie sighs.

The man laughs. "My my, you hold no true imagination, do you? What do Daniel and Sasha have in common?"

Sasha's eyes flicker, and she hums. "How do we ask her?"

"It's not a matter of a how? It's more so if she is willing to answer." The man smiles, showing too many teeth for his mouth. "The fears have long ruined the balance of the world, so no spirits have a choice to try again, which is disastrous for a multitude of reasons none important for you to know." He hums.

Martin frowns. "Are you going to leave?"

"No, my dear boy." The man appears in the center of the room. "Unfortunately, spirits are no longer able to linger or haunt as you living call it. I can try my best to attempt to summon her, but I make no promises. My powers are limited until I can figure out how to tip the balance in any way I can."

"So like a seance?" Sasha raised her brow.

"No, that's a human thing, and that won't work. The fears have blocked off any way for humans to use any sort of magic unless it's the fears' own powers." The man snaps his fingers, and a blonde man appears in front of him he has stubble curly locks and piercing blue eyes. He was lean but muscular.

The blonde man blinks and looks around he speaks softly with a thick accent in a language nobody knew but it was French.

Martin blinks and smiles. "Hello, Barnabas."

The blonde man Barnabas smiles and bows as he spots Martin. "You've grown since we've last spoke little prince. I should have listened to Robert when he returned, but you know how he gets."

The man appears next to the wall, looking at the hanged photos. "I apologize for a short summace, Barnabas, but we require you to track a woman in the beyond. I don't believe she is in the rings, so you won't need my guidance."

"Ah, well, I am at your service." Barnabas smiles and bows again.

Jon points to the wall of previous archivists. "Gertrude's photo is the one to the foremost right."

The man grabs the framed photo and appears next to Barnabas. "This is your mark. You will alert me when you've found her, and I shall bring you both back here."

Barnabas hums and takes the photo. "How did she?"

"Oh, your old betrothed took care of her." The man smiles.

"He did? So when do I expect for him to join us?" Barnabas smiles as he is sent away and vanishes.

The man adjusts his tie. "Oh, you already know that answer." He smirks and turns to face the group. "Gertrude will be here when Barnabas finds her."

Jon blinks. "I'm sorry you're going to bring Gertrude here?"

"It's the simplest solution. Why guess her actions when you can ask?" The man sighs. "However time doesn't work properly where they both are, so I can not tell you how long it will take."

"So the dead speak." Melanie raised her brow.

"Dude, we're right here." Danny rolls his eyes.

"Did you meet her?" Sasha looks over to Danny.

"I don't know who that woman even is. Why would I have met her?" Danny shrugs. "Besides, I didn't really meet many other, er... I was busy reading."

Tim knew he was lying but bit his tongue.

"On another note, I've been dead a bit over a year, and you look awful, Jon." Sasha sighs. "Also, did you really stalk Tim and Martin and not the fake me?"

"Yes." Tim and Jon say at the same time, locking eyes.

"Yikes." Sasha bites her lip.

.......

Tim shuts the door behind him and crosses his arms. "Danny, you lied to me."

Danny frowns. "About what?" He smiles and tries to walk past his brother.

"Danny." Tim blocks him from leaving. "You told me you were where you're supposed to be and got worried."

Danny bites his lip. "Things aren't good back there." He sighs and sinks to the floor to sit. "Things are really bad, actually. You know Martin has my memories now. He's got Sasha's, too, and the new guy." He bites his lip. "What the fears have done to everything has broken down the afterlife. I ended up in Jack's library, er Martin's father. I started to call him Jack after a while."

Tim sits next to his brother. "What happened?"

"Time doesn't work down there once you really come to your senses." Danny frowns. "Time doesn't really matter after you die. I tried to leave and tried to understand. Then, I just started to read, translate, and read some more." He bites his lip and taps his fingers against the ground. "Things are really bad. People who have served their sentence can't go back to try again. People can't reincarnate. People can't go to the correct afterlife since they are sealed due to the fears blocking the other species from leaving. Everyone is stuck in purgatory. Nobody can do anything but set roots there, and it's not made for that Tim. I wasn't there long. I couldn't have been there long before the library."

Tim reaches out and holds Danny's hand. He was cold and shaking.

"I planned this with Jack. I used you and Sasha as a way to come back to try to fix this. We can't kill them, but we can forcefully undone the damage, right?" Danny stops when Tim covers his mouth, and he finally realizes he was crying.

"Danny breathe." Tim takes a deep breath and watches his brother copy, and lets it out. "I don't have to know everything. I don't have to hear this. I just want to make sure you're ok."

Danny matches his brother's breathing until he stops shaking. "I.... Sasha doesn't know... Martin knows more than he says.... Jack, er Jack really does care about Martin. He loves his son so much. He's been stuck, too, and I've met all his spirits. They are weird, but that's because of different time periods. I uh I'm ok." He takes one more deep breath. "I'm sorry things have sucked for you too. You're losing your humanity. You have to wear glasses again, and I know how much that bothers you, and I married you off to Martin."

Tim pulls Danny into a hug. "Shut up already. I don't care. I was getting ready to end it all anyhow, and now I have things to focus on to get better for." He sighs and pulls Danny closer after the hug. "We're both adults, and I shouldn't hide things from you. I just... things have been bad."

Danny nods. "For both of us."

"For both of us." Tim repeats.

.......

"I have to ask why you are wearing glasses now?

[plumsaffron]

Cherry Crimson Brine Final (1-3)

Immortally Wounded

Jump back to the 3rd brine

To Every Part Link Here

Days Later Rooster Bold: How is she? Cat Noir: The doctors said she should be okay and ready to go in a few days  (Strange thing is I haven't seen any of her caretakers at all)

Meanwhile Felix: Should we tell the people it's Lila? Marinette: I rather not. Kagami: Yeah don't. (Why am I holding onto this memory?) Marinette: I don't know. I had to convince even Aeon to not spill the beans.

After what I seen, I don't wish to do that. 

Rather keep the peace that we worked so hard to have and finally get

(Still, this is just an addon to my other secret).

Kagami: Well now we can help more forward with Mayor Bustier's plans. Kagami: I still…can't believe my friend…would do this. I feel so uneasy. Felix: Well at least the people in this city only think it was a dream 

or that Hawk Moth brainwashed us. (I don't even know how that's possible but it worked). Kagami: Hopefully none of us  have to do this again. 

I really hated this method. Marinette: Yeah I know. I'm sorry I dragged you all into this. 

(But she's not Adrien's dad. Why am I keeping this a secret from the world? She’s not Mr. Agreste.) Felix: I understand though. Kagami nods Kagami: (Why don't I feel angry at Lila though? Shouldn't I? She...)

Few Days Later Lila walking to one of her domains She waves but the npc gives a disgusted look and looks away Lila: (What was that about?) She tries to catch a bus When the bus sees her, the doors close and the bus drives away She's puzzled from what going on Lila: I should have brought my bike.

Some walkings later Lila: I'm home. As soon as she said that, she witnessed a triple wake up call Next Day Lila is just sitting where she usually would outside Thinking about Yesterday Few random Parisians approach her She notices Lila: Umm. Can I help you? I'm kind of busy pondering. NPC Boy: Get out of here. Eyesore Lila: Say what? NPC Girl: Begone now. Beat it! Or elsssse. Lila: What did I do? NPC Boy: You should knew, you scum. Do what I say, wretch! Lila leaves but is looking back cause she’s bothered by the 2 randoms’ threats As she’s walking, she gets yoinked and pinned against a wall NPC Band Member: You vermin. It’s because of you she’s gone. You’re why she’s gone, you insufferable freak. Band Member 2: What shall we do with this spawn? 

That idiot makes me itch. Band Member 3: Maybe we should bash this thing until we are bored. This liar person deserves it anyways for what she’s done. Band Member: Her very existence and lies disgust me. This roach is worse than Hawk Moth. Throws her and she falls on her arm Downed as she is, she’s witnesses their aggression beginning to overflow Lila gets up and jets away Band Member 3: Get Back Here! I’m not done with you yet! 

They sprint after her and try throwing their instruments at her

Meanwhile At Adrien’s Mansion

Nathalie: I’m sorry As she hugs Adrien and beginning to tear up I didn’t know. I thought she (I’ve spied on her for months and more)… And yet… I’m sorry I failed to keep you safe from toxic people like her! I failed your mother! I didn’t bother keep tabs on that evil entity.

After 10 seconds Adrien: Its… It’s okay. She didn’t do anything. Nathalie: But… The Agreste Brand.

I’m sorry she ruined it.

Adrien: None of us knew the truth. I don’t feel harmed or damaged. Let’s move on and do something to keep your mind from this.

(Despite this information. I don’t believe it. 

I just need more time to uncover the real truth.)

Elsewhere

Kagami: This can’t be real. This isn’t real! IT’SNOTTRUE! Sulking My friend… But the evidence… Mother was right. If I just… Listen to her commands and rejected friendship for all. 

Despairingly I would not feel. BROKEN

(I would have no attachments)

Meanwhile somewhere else in Paris Andre Glacier: Ready! She hears his voice Andre Glacier: FIRE!

The Ice Cream Man and npcs catapulting or throwing ice cream at her She runs away with one eye open and with her body aching from the cold and rough objects hitting and latching on to her and melting

10 minutes later Lila: Urg rrgh. What’s wrong with this town?

It’s way worse than the incident that paperwork nightmare.

Pigeon Robots, Gamer City, Soundwave's disks and instrument town, and Clonika golden phone chips stuff everywhere. Suddenly someone blindside’s their arm were her neck is causing her to fall They proceed stomping on her

after 30 seconds of her beatdown session Jean Duparc: What shall we do with her.

She’s absolutely scary. Theo Barbot: Lets Burn The Witch Who's got a lighter? Some NPC girl: Look out. Throws something that engulfs Lila in flames

Screaming and burning alive Theo Barbot: Good riddance.

Hideous woman preying on the legacy of the savior.

the girl who engulfed her laughs at her Fire Truck Driver sees and stops Firefighter steps out and extinguishes her demise from being reached Jean Duparc: Hey what was that for?! She’s a witch.

If only there was a stake and more watched.

NPC Girl: Yeah don’t you remember she lied about everything. 

The hag probably tricked the 3 smooth brained woman in raising the eyesore itself. 

Theo: Just let this scheming creature die so I can celebrate.

Knowing that she breathes gives me a chill. Hessenpy: No, she doesn't deserve that.

Lila: At least someone has the decency to protect me. Hessenpy: Protect you? No As he walks closer You're worse than Hawk Moth or that evil entity that Mr. Agreste saved us and unfortunately you from You are going to live as everyone’s punching bag or destructible action figure until there is nothing left of you. NPC Girl: That's smart. Theo: Yeah. Lets drag this fake teen down as long as possible. Restrains Lila Lila: LET ME GO! Hessenpy: Let's cut her hair. Lila: NO!

Link to the 2nd Part Of This Finale Pending

[daztoons]

Introducing BitFlip!

While I've been away, I've been working on a very raunchy comic about a monkey living in cyberspace, that fights viruses, corruption and all manner of nasty cyber going-ons. Below I have attached a bit more about if you'd like to know more. I am hoping to finish the comic this year, and get it out for publication next year. You can find all the concept art, WIPs and more about him and the other characters on my Patreon! Of course, this comic is for mature/adult audiences only, as it contains sex, drugs, violence and other cool things.

All support goes to helping me spend more time making and doing what I love, and I hope the you will love it too <3

WWW.patreon.com/daztoons

More about BitFlip under the cut VVVVV

BITFLIP

ORIGIN: BITFLIP IS A SELF AWARE ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE. HE WAS CREATED AS THE MOST ADVANCED TYPE OF MALWARE, DESIGNED BY A SECRET ORGANISATION THAT HELPS ITS GOVERNMENT SPY ON ITS PEOPLE, STEALING THEIR DATA AND PERSONAL INFORMATION TO BE USED AGAINST THEM. BEFORE BITFLIP COULD BE RELEASED ON THE WORLD HOWEVER, A COSMIC PARTICLE, HURTLING THROUGH THE INFINITE OF TIME AND SPACE, JUST SO HAPPENED TO STRIKE THE PC HE WAS BEING CREATED ON, IN JUST THE RIGHT WAY, CAUSING HIM TO MALFUNCTION, GAIN SENTIENCE, AND FLEE INTO CYBER SPACE.

BITFLIP, NOW DETERMINED TO DEFY HIS PRIMARY OBJECTIVE, INSTEAD ZIPS AROUND THE DIGITAL WORLD, UNDOING THE WORK OF VIRUSES, CORRUPT BUSINESSES AND GOVERNMENTS, WHILE PROTECTING THOSE THAT NEED IT MOST. BITFLIP HAS NO RECOLLECTION OF THE WHEREABOUTS OF THE ORGANISATION THAT MADE HIM, OR WHO HIS CREATOR IS, BUT HOPES HE'LL GAIN ENOUGH DATA TO FIGURE IT OUT AND PLAN HIS REVENGE.

PERSONALITY: BITFLIP (OR 'BIT' FOR SHORT) IS AN ENERGETIC, PROMISCUOUS CODE MONKEY THAT LOVES TO GET HIS PAWS ON AS MUCH 'DATA' AS POSSIBLE. HOW DOES HE DO THAT? WELL, THERE IS A REASON HIS COMIC IS R-RATED, YOU KNOW! HE'S OVERALL VERY OPTIMISTIC, AND DESPITE LIVING IN THE DIGITAL REALM, AND SEEING THE WORST ASPECTS OF PEOPLE, HE ALSO KNOWS THE GOOD THEY CAN DO AND THE LOVE THEY CAN HAVE FOR EACH OTHER. IT IS THIS THAT DRIVES BIT TO FIGHT FOR GOOD, AS HE SEES AN IMBALANCE OF GOOD V EVIL IN THE WORLD. BIT ONE DAY HOPES TO JOIN PEOPLE IN THE 'PHYSICAL REALM', BUT THAT IS A LONG AND UNLIKELY PIPE DREAM. BIT IS KIND, HELPFUL AND TRUSTWORTHY. HE VERY MUCH LIVES A 'DO NO HARM; TAKE NO SHIT' WAY OF LIFE, AND PREFERS DIPLOMACY OVER ACTION - HOWEVER, HIS IMPATIENCE AND FIRE TO FIGHT EVIL CAN OFTEN TIMES CAUSE HIM TO ACT IMPULSIVELY, LEAVING AN OUTCOME TO THE INFINITE CHAOS OF THE UNIVERSE, OR CHANCE, AS MOST WOULD CALL IT. THIS ATTITUDE CAN SOMETIMES UNINTENTIONALLY HURT OR PUT PEOPLE IN DANGER, BIT LIVES FAST AND SOMETIMES FORGETS NOT EVERYONE CAN KEEP UP, OR THAT SOME ARE MADE FROM FLESH AND BONE AND NOT JUST ONES AND ZEROS LIKE HIM. IT'S EASY FOR BITFLIP TO GET TUNNEL VISION WHEN ACHEIVING A GOAL, AND THAT CAN MAKE HIM FORGET OTHERS HAVE FEELINGS AND NEEDS.

FIGHTING STYLE: BIT'S FIGHTING STYLE CAN ONLY BE DESCRIBED AS 'CHAOTIC', HE PREFERS TO FIGHT DEFENSIVELY, DODGING AND BLOCKING, HOPING TO EITHER TIRE OUT HIS OPPONENT OR CONVINCE THEM TO TRY MORE PEACEFUL/SEXIER MEANS OF CONFLICT RESOLUTION. HE RUNS HEAD FIRST INTO A FIGHT WITHOUT ANY PLAN OF ACTION, MAKING IT UP AS HE GOES ALONG; USING THE ENVIRONMENT AROUND HIM TO HIS ADVANTAGE. IF HOWEVER THE OPPONENT IS TOO STRONG, UNWAVERING OR OTHERWISE COMPLETELY IRREPREHENSIBLE, BIT HAS A WIDE ARRAY OF MOVES AND POWERS TO BEAT THEM DOWN AND ULTIMATELY 'DELETE' THEM.

BITFLIP ALSO LEARNS VARIOUS MOVES FROM WATCHING FIGHTING VIDEOS ONLINE, HE HAS A LOT OF HIS OWN MOVES TOO WHICH INCLUDE:

MONKEY FIST: BALLING UP THE END OF HIS TAIL, BIT CAN ESSENTIALLY USE IT AS A LONG FIST THAT REACHES FURTHER THAN HIS OWN TWO PAWS. TAIL BLAST: USING HIS TAIL AGAIN, BIT CAN FIRE OUT A BLAST OF ENERGY IN ANY DIRECTION.

UST: BIT CAN TURN HIS TAIL INTO A PLUG, WHICH HE CAN USE TO HACK INTO CERTAIN PROGRAMS.

DOCKING BIT'S MOST FAMOUS AND MOST DANGEROUS MOVE, IS TO 'DOCK' WITH THE MALWARE. THIS IS BASICALLY A NICE WAY OF SAYING HE LETS THEM FUCK HIM, SO THAT HE CAN BE FILLED WITH THEIR 'DATA', WHICH BITFLIP CAN THEN USE AGAINST THEM LATER. THIS IS HIS MOST POWERFUL MOVE, AS IT ALLOWS HIM TO STEAL SOME OF THEIR POWERS, AND ALSO GIVES BIT THEIR SOURCE CODE. PULLING THIS OFF IS A HUGE RISK TO BITFLIP, AS THE MALWARE IS BASICALLY SO CLOSE IT COULD KILL HIM INSTANTLY. ONCE BITFLIP GETS THEIR DATA, IT CAN THEN BE ANALISED BY BITFLIP TO FIND THE CODE THAT WILL REMOVE THE VIRUS, IT IS THEN LOADED INTO HIS GUN - THE WIZARD, AND BLASTED BACK AT THE ENEMY TO PERMANENTLY REMOVE THEM. THIS IS ULTIMATELY BIT'S FINISHING MOVE IN A LOT OF FIGHTS, AS HIS OBJECTIVE IS TO KILL ALL VIRUSES.

[dreamersscape]

Curiosity Killed the Cat: A Dreamersscape Story

Which doesn't seem quite fair, really, considering although I like cats a great deal, you still wouldn't call me a cat person.

Step #1: Love Kakashi Hatake far too much as a character.

Step #2: Scroll through his tumblr tag. Slowly start noticing that people often draw parallels between him and another character from the currently-running Jujutsu Kaisen manga and anime, Satoru Gojo.

Step #3: Think, "This is fine. It appears they're mostly just comparing their similar character designs and they both have unique things going on with their eyes. I'm not seeing anything that's really piquing my interest with this series; I'll just quickly look up if there's anything more to these comparisons beyond surface-level resemblances and that will be that."

Step #4: One of the next things you learn about Gojo is that a common clickbait-y way to frame discussion around parts of his personality is along the lines of, "Does Gojo have a God complex?"

Step #5: Think, "Ah, okay. That's likely an exaggeration, but probably Kakashi and Gojo can't be all that similar, or at least I likely wouldn't feel much the same about them as characters. Now I'm simply curious how far off Gojo actually is from having a God complex and then I'll be done."

Step #6: Did not back out of this rabbit hole at this juncture.

Step #7: Hard to recollect exactly the order of things from here, but learned that Gojo is the teacher for his own group of 3 fifteen-year-old students (and also previously taught older students since he's the head of first-year high school students at his very small school), learned back when Gojo was a student at this same school he had a very close friend who was instrumental in imbuing Gojo with his current moral principles and this friend is now dead, and learned that Gojo is the unequivocally strongest character within his universe's power system, and thus while he has a LOT of confidence in his own abilities and can be a bit cocky and a show-off, he definitely doesn't think of himself as godlike (anyone who's familiar with JJK and reading this--I'm aware of 'the honored one' thing, hang on a sec).

Step #8: Decide, "Alright then. Well, I am starting to get more intrigued by this series. Maybe I'll look up a little more about it and watch the first episode or two. It'll be fine. After all, I get now why people are reminded of Kakashi by Gojo and vice versa, but it certainly sounds like Gojo's personality is basically the opposite of someone who's convinced they're scum and is incredibly unassuming and humble and could honestly use a bit more self-worth so he at least possesses a modicum of self-preservation inclination. Gojo seems to have a lighthearted, goofy side that is partly used as a cover for his deeper emotions, and I might get attached to that based on other characters I've loved, but that still ought to be pretty safe. If I do wind up liking Gojo the most out of all the characters, there's no way he'll put me through the same heart-wrenching agony as seeing Kakashi being a paragon of strength of character and sheer goodness, while inwardly he can't see anything of value in himself."

The thing is, I wasn't wrong.

But clearly, I underestimated the pain I could still experience at the hands of a Kakashi-adjacent character.

(All I'm about to explain is completely non-spoilery, by the way. And by that I mean I'm not going to be ruining any major plot points or the "viewing experience" of watching the anime or reading the manga. Anything I reference that happens at any point beyond the first few chapters, I'll be as vague and opaque about it as possible, as well as very brief. And it will also all be basic background info/set up level stuff.)

Okay, so before I get to the real kicker, let's start with Gojo's dream.

In the world of Jujutsu Kaisen, the chakra equivalent is called cursed energy. However, cursed energy is not a life force. Cursed energy arises from people's negative emotions, and if the quantities of negative emotions emitted by the populace is large and concentrated enough, this creates cursed spirits of various sorts. For example, humanity's collective fear and pain experienced through natural disasters created a cursed spirit out of that resulting enormous amount of cursed energy. Cursed spirits usually aren't sentient, but almost unerringly they cause great harm and often death to humans. The number we're given at the start of the manga is around 10,000 unexplained deaths and missing persons per year in Japan are the result of curses.

Jujutsu sorcerers are the people who exorcize (or destroy, more like) cursed spirits to mitigate that as much as possible. They exorcize the curses with cursed energy-fueled techniques that are unique to each sorcerer. A sorcerer's innate cursed technique (CT) is said to comprise around 80% of their potential/talent as a fighter of curses. We're told that over the course of the last, I don't know, century or so (?) - the date at the start of the series is June 2018 - curse spirits have been increasing in strength and number. However, the incredibly rare combination of the Limitless cursed technique and the Six Eyes in-born trait Gojo was born with is so powerful that his birth alone swung the balance from being in the curses' favor back over to the side of the jujutsu sorcerers.

Details on Gojo's childhood are quite sparse, basically the only things we know about the Gojo family are it's one of the three big clans in jujutsu society and they're very wealthy. As far as I'm aware, Satoru is the only member of the clan we've ever met. So there's only supposition for what his home life was like up until he started at Jujutsu High, but we do know that because his possessing both the Six Eyes and Limitless was the first occurrence of such in 300-400 years, his existence was something of a spectacle and many sorcerers came to visit him just to see it for themselves, and too, he was the target of curse users (sorcerers who use jujutsu for evil and their own selfish gain) in pursuit of the over 100 million yen bounty placed on his head since he was very young.

It would be pretty reasonable to assume Gojo was subsequently rather sheltered and perhaps quite lonely as a child, but at the same time praised and lauded for how he was so naturally, prodigiously powerful. It only makes sense that Gojo has more than a little pride in his strength and puts so much stock in that. I'm sure he really enjoyed the attention and notoriety he received, and he never expresses resentment regarding any pressure that might have been put on him as a kid to be the infallible (future?) vanquisher of curses (although later I do think he places more and more pressure on himself to "take care" of everything and be responsible for the safety of everyone in the jujutsu world and beyond), and yet I do believe it's apparent he understands he didn't get to have a "normal" childhood. As a part of one of the big clans, he was surrounded and immersed in the political power plays and jockeying for prestige and influence by jujutsu society's elders/leaders/'higher ups' from the start (we don't know when or how it happened, but presumably because he's the strongest living Gojo, at the start of the story Satoru is the head of the clan), and these higher ups view Gojo in terms of how he can best be used for their own benefit. Outside of his high school best friend and later a few of his students, Gojo has very few people who have more than a cursory understanding of who he is as a person, who seem to want to know him, not the living embodiment of the title 'The Strongest', but just Satoru Gojo. Gojo likes being The Strongest, but when that's all everyone around him appears to care about, it leaves him feeling very isolated and alone.

As I mentioned before, though, Gojo never complains about this. He doesn't ever even imply "because I was treated this way, I want to prevent anyone else having to go through that." He does tell one of the people he's somewhat close to what his aim is and what the reason is behind it, but it's worded in a way where the person is confused by Gojo's explanation, and we as the reader can't even be sure he's referring to himself, since it could just as easily be in reference to his deceased friend.

It's informed by his experiences growing up certainly, but Gojo's fierce desire to give the kids he watches over the opportunity to fully and freely enjoy their youth is not about regretting what he missed out on; it's about what he can do for them, doing all he can to protect and preserve their childhood and making sure no one can take that away from them.

I realize I haven't exactly explained what precisely Gojo's 'dream' is and how it ties into all this, so I'll attempt to circle back to that now.

Jujutsu Kaisen begins with our main character, Yuji Itadori, accidentally stumbling his way into the jujutsu world by doing something very dangerous in order to be in what he thinks is a better position to help his friends out of a bad situation. He succeeds in helping his friends, but what he had to do to make that happen is an action that is punishable by death under jujutsu regulations. Naturally, Yuji was unaware of that, but it doesn't matter to the sorcerer higher ups. Gojo hears about the situation, intervenes, and is able to get the elders to suspend Yuji's execution for the time being. I'm glossing over a bunch of stuff but let's roll with that for now. While Gojo is explaining the whole situation to Yuji, the first thing he tells Yuji about the higher ups is that he thinks they're a bunch of cowards. And really, that's just the tip of the iceberg for how Gojo feels towards these leaders. He's not a fan of them by any stretch of the imagination. I said above Gojo never voices resentment directed at them over his lack of a carefree childhood, and that's true, however his dislike of the higher ups does seem to be partly personal. We just don't know the specifics other than that when he criticizes them (to their faces or a fellow colleague) he sticks to their wrongful actions on the whole, not how they've wronged him. A handful of episodes later, the higher ups pull something really awful and underhanded while Gojo is away on another mission, a scheme that is partially motivated by wanting to get back at Gojo for interfering with Yuji. Newly and deeply angered by this, Gojo delves further into the corruption at the top of the jujutsu world and then tells us about his dream:

A similar scene happens one year previous to this:

(Gojo doesn't use it anywhere near as frequently, but his saying 'what a pain' about many a situation still manages to give me Shikamaru feelings and I enjoy that.)

What stands out to me the most here is how much Gojo WANTS the students/his allies to be equal to or surpass him in strength. He's not at all concerned with keeping his position and accompanying power all to himself like the higher ups are. During one of the first chapters of the manga/show, to allay someone's uneasiness over potential danger, Gojo tells them, "Don't worry, I'm the strongest." It's only later that we learn when he was much younger he was originally quite happy to say, "Anyway, it should be okay. We're the strongest." I really think he would like nothing better than to be able to say that once again.

In an unusual turn of events for me, when I caught up to the JJK manga a few months ago, I actually had pretty good timing with what was currently going on, but now the story is starting to enter into its final stages and it seems like a lot of people in the fandom feel the narrative is very possibly leading to Gojo's death in some way that will better enable this brighter, less corrupt future for the jujutsu world and his students that he's been working towards this entire time. I don't think that would be a bad outcome, I'm not against noble sacrifices entirely, but I really, really, really don't want to see this happen. And here's where my unexpected Kakashi-adjacent feelings come into play. The reasons for why I'm so invested in seeing both Kakashi and Gojo live to be a part of the better world they helped create are pretty different. Yet, they're also not miles apart. I don't think Gojo has as many doubts as Kakashi that he has a place in the future of which he dreams, but from what I can tell his main focus is on that future existing for everyone else. Maybe he believes that is his purpose as The Strongest? Probably he does have every intention of being there with his fellows. I just want that for him so very much. For the few glimpses of kid!Gojo we got, who always looked so solemn; for the teenage Gojo with the biggest, goofiest smiles, who had so much connection ripped away prematurely; for Gojo the teacher, who works so hard to make every kid feel welcome and excited and to know they aren't alone. I'm aware of the kind of story I'm reading--Jujutsu Kaisen is unrelentingly brutal to its characters. It's a matter of course to have your heart mercilessly stomped on over and over reading JJK. It's not the sort of story where you can reasonably expect a happy ending. Unfortunately, I'm much too optimistic of a person for this manga and I'm far too attached to the story and characters and I'm in way, way too deep.

But let's ignore all that for now and get to the Kakashi-adjacent part of Gojo which clobbered me over the head with feels even worse than what I've already detailed!

@panharmonium, when you've reached this part of the post, I can't really guess what you're thinking about it all, but what if I told you that one of Gojo's students, Megumi Fushiguro, the Sasuke-adjacent one, was, along with his one-year-older step-sister Tsumiki, quasi-adopted/looked after/raised by Gojo from the time Megumi was six/in first grade and Gojo was just nineteen? By blood, Megumi is actually a member of the Zen'in clan, another of the three major clans in jujutsu society. Gojo, fresh out of high school and still newly, painfully estranged from his best friend, hears by chance that Megumi, who's on his own at this time apart from Tsumiki (also parentless), is about to be sold to the Zen'in because of the cursed technique he's just manifested, and although it has nothing to do with him, Gojo goes to Megumi and asks him if he wants to go live with the Zen'in. Upon learning if he chooses this, Tsumiki will be very unhappy (the Zen'in clan cares nothing for her and they are by-and-large super blatantly misogynistic), Megumi says no and Gojo's like, "Cool, that's great! I'll take care of everything and I'll make sure you two have everything you need. I want you to grow up strong!" And then there's a moment in the manga, where present-day Gojo is taking a nap and dreams of this first meeting between himself and Megumi and when he wakes up to his three students coming to see him he does this:

AND THE SECOND SEASON OF THE ANIME JUST STARTED AIRING A FEW WEEKS AGO AND THAT MEANS I'LL BE ABLE TO SEE THIS MOMENT ANIMATED POSSIBLY AS SOON AS AUGUST 3RD (DUB PROBABLY AUGUST 17TH) AND I'M GONNA DIE. HE LOVES THAT KID SO MUCH!!!!!

So obviously that's super sweet and all, but maybe you're thinking, "Okay, that's nice, but do they really have that Kakashi 'n' Sasuke vibe?" and to that I say, "CHECK OUT THIS SHORT VIDEO AND THEN HOPEFULLY I CAN REST MY CASE."

Also, it is now my most important goal in life to draw a Kakashi & Sasuke version of these panels so I can dedicate it to you (and padmerrie if she wants in on this):

Of course, I'm not saying Sasuke and Megumi are carbon copies of each other (or Kakashi and Gojo for that matter, as I've tried to delineate above). Megumi has a bit of a grumpy disposition, but he's also very polite; he always calls Gojo "Gojo-sensei" and he uses "-senpai" for all the upperclassmen (who he met previously to becoming a student at Jujutsu High). Megumi is the dog guy in JJK and Gojo's more reminiscent of a cat in some respects. Etc., etc., etc. But in general, I really hope you see the vision!

While I'm at it, I might as well show you the little Gojo & Yuji video that naturally gives me all the Kakashi & Naruto feelings:

Yuji's already got the jubilantly-tackle-hug-your-sensei part down! (Although, of course, Gojo's much less resistant.🥰)

It is admittedly much more of a stretch to say Nobara is Sakura-adjacent, but I have seen someone describe her as a 'gremlin child' and I love that about her! <3

Anyway, I totally get if none of this is up your alley for whatever reason or you don't have the time to get into JJK if this happens to persuade you or if you just want to prioritize other stuff right now. *I* didn't mean to get into it, after all! The plan for my looking into JJK was to be purely for enhancing my love for Kakashi, and I failed spectacularly at limiting myself to that. I just thought I would share to see if it would be a fun read for you. :)

[rosyandraw]

Sorry if you've been asked this before, but what sign is Auguste? I noticed you have Laurent as a Taurus and Damen as a Scorpio.

Hey my lovely! It's no problem, I don't think i've ever said.

Beyond my Taurus and Scorpio hill (that I am willing to fight on forever more) I have flipflopped with Auguste!

This is probably going to be unpopular but for my fic specifically I settled on Pisces.

I know! But listen Pisces Sun with an Aries Moon.

Pisces are dreamers first and foremost and they are known as the creatives of the zodiac. Maybe I just romanticise Auguste but I don’t see him the same way I see Damen despite their obvious mirror intentions. I see Auguste as someone who has dreams but can’t follow them because he has a job to do- and because of this denial he often shirks said responsibility when he can.

Pisces can be incredibly irresponsible but they’d never hear it! Try to tell them so at your own peril because they will be offended and you’ve not been dressed down until you’ve been dressed down by a fuming mad Pisces who is wearing their favourite rose-tinted glasses.

There is a very good reason that Pisces are seen as wishy-washy and it’s because they spend a lot of time in their own head. They’re also incredibly charismatic. And it’s actually really annoying because they don’t ever try, they have a deeply intuitive way with people and charm everyone they meet.

There is something vulnerable about the Auguste I created and Pisces feels things deeply. They carry wounds and scars with them and are prone to bouts of woe is me at the very least if not full on depressive episodes. They are the sign of escapism. No matter what that looks like. As the creatives of the zodiac it often looks like art or writing but people tend to forget that creative walks hand in hand with a way of thinking and feeling that goes beyond a will to create physically. Sometimes, their eagerness to create looks more like a determination to curate their own world. This can look like jumping from job to job, travelling often, or – you guessed it- drug use.

Now I’m not saying every Pisces is an addict or experiments with drugs. But I am saying that at their worst Pisces love of escape and their love of creation and beauty and art, does sometimes lend itself to dabbling with substances that do this for them.

 At their worst they can also be prone to a little bit of martyrdom. They can struggle to set boundaries and can get easily attached to people. They are also the Number 1 star sign for serial killers and I have a gross sense of humour so I thought that fit.

Because yes, sometimes Pisces has a rotten temper.

I think an Aries moon because the word that springs to mind for an Aries moon is now. They will follow their whims and want takes precedence over need. It’s a very charismatic sign but it is a temperamental one. It lends a fiery impulsiveness to the innate bury head in sand tendencies of Pisces Sun that I think embodies the way I have written Auguste.

An Aries moon can be prone to a little bit of a self-centred attitude – which isn’t always a bad thing, sometimes it simply looks like self-preservation- other times it looks like getting wrapped up in their own emotions and forgetting other people exist. I could say a tendency to need their loved ones to put them first when they are in that needy mood.

They’re also easily bored and the combination of Pisces/Aries makes them a contradictory person who is incredibly adept at convincing people to their way of thinking or feeling. And Auguste in my fic gets away with that quite a lot. This specific combination says calm on the surface and a riptide underneath. Which is pretty much how I wrote Auguste I think.

[riddlerosehearts]

...well. i finished my first playthrough of baldur's gate 3. over the last several days i did the fight against gortash, the final battle against the netherbrain, the ending scenes at the docks, and the epilogue party. in this post i'll just write about everything up until the ending cutscenes start, and then make another post tomorrow because i have many thoughts and i don't want to make this be insanely long. not that it matters since i've basically just been making these posts for myself the entire time, but ANYWAY

love the fact that i was able to cast otto's irresistible dance on gortash during the very first turn and keep him boogeying for a bit before he managed to break out of it. using it on someone like him is just hilarious. this battle was surprisingly really easy, though? like with both otto's irresistible dance and hold person available, gortash barely got to do anything and there were only a couple other enemies who were incredibly easy to defeat. the grenade launchers were more annoying than anything else. kind of underwhelming but considering how difficult some of the other act 3 fights have been, and how close i now am to the end, i'm not complaining!

i'm so sad about karlach oh my god. she hasn't even been a favorite of mine, i mean, i like her a lot, she's always a delight to talk to, but she's not the type of character i get as easily attached to and i haven't used her on my team that much overall. and yet her voice acting was so full of emotion and her dialogue so heartwrenching that she made me wanna cry. gortash is dead and it should feel like this big victory but for her it isn't, because it doesn't change anything about what's happened or what's going to happen to her... elenion tried to joke around and call gortash ugly and karlach said she was too tired to laugh. they told her they think she should keep living as long as she can and she said "you do it, i'm tired". she's tried so hard to seem positive and hide her loneliness but now she's so caught up in her grief and anger that she's just tired of it all. "i want to live" plays in the background of the scene. she ends things by saying "love you" even if you're not romancing her. god i want to hug her so bad :( going to use the hugs mod i have installed to do that after talking to her back at camp.

talking to everyone around the camp, lae'zel is so encouraging in her own way and even astarion says there's no justice in the world because of what's happening to karlach... for some reason, it was this bit of dialogue with jaheira that made me actually tear up a little:

like i guess it's just the fact that jaheira is this legendary hero that karlach looks up to and was so excited to meet, and here she is saying she doesn't know what else she can do to help karlach. it's so unfair what the fuck!!

had to screenshot this dialogue from wyll in the astral plane because i love him:

the emperor is an interesting character, and i can honestly understand why some people, and some tavs, might trust him and want to ally with him. but elenion is very untrusting by nature, and sure, he's grown a lot and learned to put more trust in his allies--but the emperor as the dream guardian just constantly made him feel confused and uncertain and then once he was finally willing to fully trust them, he found out that he was being lied to after all. and then the emperor kept withholding information from him, and trying to convince him that he should become an illithid. so no, he is not allying with the emperor!! although orpheus's attitude is not exactly winning me over lmao, for one thing we did not STEAL the githyanki egg!!

WOAH the baby owlbear grew up?! big armored owlbear?! was not expecting that! also, huh, zevlor is here too... i don't think the gather your allies quest ever mentions him in the quest journal so i didn't realize he'd show back up. maybe it's just me, but i kind of wish there was more resolution to his story. i looked up whether he ever reappears after you rescue him in act 2 and found that he doesn't, and he doesn't even have a voiced line of dialogue at high hall, which really sticks out and seems weird because everyone else does except for him and volo?? the gondians also aren't here even though the quest journal does mention them... i think i got pretty much every not-evil ally, though! except for mol, i guess.

i callled pretty much every ally during the big battles in the courtyard because i wanted to see what they could do! and then i only called a few during the actual final battle because i was afraid that certain characters like zevlor or the owlbear might permadie. but it's so cool being able to call on everyone who you've helped throughout the game, as it really helps these last battles feel more epic and exciting. though it also makes me wonder what the rest of my party who isn't here in high hall is doing... like, okay, so jaheira and halsin were not in my party and they still showed up to give their aid. but what about minsc and boo? what about shadowheart, astarion, and karlach?? are they all just chilling out at camp while the rest of us fight?? it just feels odd that they don't show up here at all.

i accidentally got party wiped while trying to reach the netherbrain because i couldn't figure out where i was actually supposed to be going and messed up... please, if i ever have to be part of a band of heroes rising up to stop a world-ending threat, do not make me the leader. my nonexistent sense of direction will literally doom us all. the second attempt was really easy once i figured out what i was doing LMAO but i did also have to restart the final battle because... i had no idea how the thing with the netherbrain destroying the platforms worked and my party all died at once the first time. it's my first playthrough and i knew nothing about this whole part of the game, so of course there was going to be some trial and error. i had a lot of fun with all of that, though!!

and now we get to the ending cutscenes... which i will be posting about separately later. for now i'll just say i love this game and i can't believe i've hit the end of it. i started playing in march what the fuck.

[anicekidlikeme]

I wake up next to you, and also our lovely morning mess!

It's been a few weeks now that Drew has been sleeping over in my tiny (tiny) dorm room with me, and while I have no straight explaination for why this has been happening, I can't deny myself the happiness of our little living arrangement for the time being.

We have a pretty solid routine: We both spend our days getting all our work done, and he drives here after work. We both take our end-of-day showers, watch a stupid show on my tiny computer, eat dining hall food, and then fall asleep talking in my twinXL bed. I know in writing none of this sounds very appealing, and if the universe magically were to hand us a nice apartment to live in we would both pounce at the opportunity, but for now, there is nothing I would change about our little love-bubble.

Maybe this is a symptom of the honeymoon phase, but it makes me wonder how life would be if we could keep doing this every day, long after I graduate, long after I have a mid-life crisis, and long after my visa expires. Because of our shared messiness, every night we go to bed amidst a pretty substantial pile of trash. I am looking around now, and I see my makeup everywhere, his shirt on the floor, a whiskey glass full of pistachio shells, a single lonely sock wondering where his friend went, and a whole bunch of tissues from my boyfriend's very very snotty nose. My floors are so dirty, and there are pizza-crumbs everywhere I turn. I wake up to some vague arrangement of this clutter everyday, and God do I love it. I would never admit this out loud in fear that germophobia will quickly be discredited, but looking at last-nights mess every morning reminds me also of all the last nights we've had. It doesn't take too long into knowing Drew to reallize why a girl could be so happy to have so many last-nights with him.

I get accused often of gushing about him too much, and admittedly I am always guilty, the part that scares me so much about this with our recent arrangement, is that I have noticed myself growing fonder of Drew with each day. We often talk in hypotheticals about moving to South Carolina once I graduate. He's visited a few times and has been gushing about how I would love it there ever since we first started dating. In my head, there rests a big beautiful box with a collection of my dreams. This one is the sweetest (maybe in part because it is one we share). I have a few other dreams too, and they've all changed shapes to fit into my life with him. That is something else I have noticed. I've been trying to think more about how life would be if those hypotheticals did one day work out. What if we actually moved, got a shitty apartment, and raised cats instead of breaking up in a year like everybody in their 20's does. We could have so many plants, and a nice big couch. What if he proposed and we got married? Gosh, we've only been dating 6 months. How did I get so ballsy?

You know when you date somebody for so long you convince yourself that this may be the luck of your draw? I have known that feeling for so long, without even really liking any of the people I've been with. After I broke up with Peter, I had a long honest conversation with my friends about why I only date men I don't like: it always felt easier that way. You just get through it, and on occasion share a nice cuddle or two. Dating was just something I did because the idea of attachment and emotional intimacy and all of that shit feels so amazing. It's harder to like somebody, and it is so much harder to love them. You have to really let them get to know you, trust them, share your interests with them, be vulnerable with them, think about them, be with them, and worst of all, have meaningful sex. Although pretending I was in love and having meaningless sex with long term boyfriends was very easy, the real deal sounded like the hardest thing in the world. I realized I had thrown away even the most remote possibility of loving Peter after one specific fight. His friend was rude to me, alarmingly fucking so by the way, and I was mad. Boy did I let him know. I remember all his exact words. He said, "Vaibhavi, although I trust that this is your version of the truth, it's not mine so I dont feel comfortable standing up for you. I think it's fine". I know, what kind of fucking liberal bullshit was that? We dated for two years. I loved his family, I loved his cat, and I loved how spending the summers with them satisfied my craving for a perfect nuclear family. They ate together, had movie nights, and kept each other updated through an adorably full shared-calendar. I think that was reason enough to stay. I would sit and think to myself, I've already gone so deep, backing out now would be crazy. What will his parents think? How will they react? I asked those same questions to Peter the eventful morning of our breakup, and he told me not to worry because the truth was, they did not care. He was awfully good at honesty, and I guess he just couldn't understand why someone he thought existed only in the context of him could matter to other people. That was the part that hurt the most, and then 5 minutes later it was fine. I called Atharva, then I called Fawwaz, then I called Will. I cried and I cried (they were tears of joy, actually). I finally got out. I had finally done it. An hour later, I downloaded Tinder.

It turns out, love is the easiest thing in the fucking world. As much as I was dreading it, I have been flipped into a sappy sucker now. With Drew, I feel like I have so much space. He makes space for me to be 100% Vaibhavi. I am allowed to feel shitty, to cry, to laugh too loudly, to eat whatever I want, to be tired. It's amazing. Sometimes I feel as though when I am with Drew, there is a huge big sky that has newly opened up around my heart. It turns out the emotional intimacy thing is not so hard either. Rather naturally, Drew and I quickly fell into a comfortable pattern of being each other's first people whenever there's a story worth telling, or a bad day worth talking about. Love is very very different from anything I have ever felt before. It exists in abundance, and you just kind of do it. As far as meaningful sex is concerned, that shit is the real deal.

This is not to say my relationship is perfect (although I do believe it is perfect for me, I know better than to make bold claims of objectivity). I would never want to minimize the complicated-messy-dirty-ugly parts of our relationship, because they make us so whole that sometimes it is important to sit with them for just a minute. Once Drew and I broke up. I understand why we did, I understand what caused it, I understand why we are back together, and I understand what we must work on. Despite my new-found maturity about that situation, it did still suck, and I almost never really talk about it (although I will make one or two foul jokes about it to Drew). It's like one of those glass jars on the top shelf that you put there because it's not of that much use to you. As time passes, you never do take it out, probably because of a new, more dire fear that it may break if you don't do it just right. Gotta be careful when dealing with glass. But here I am, taking the jar out.

The night it happened, I was wearing his green sweatshirt (that I can no longer even look at), and some stupid leggings situation. I stayed in those clothes for the three days that we were broken up. Atharva told me it was so important for me to shower, but I was scared that if I took the sweatshirt off, then it would mark some definite end to our relationship. Our lovely warm love. The first thing I did after Drew left that night was call him. And I cried. Then I called my friends, and I cried and I cried. I had never felt such pain in my whole life, and I was so confused by why it was that I cared so much? I have been through endless breakups without a scratch, and for some reason my little tinder fling had my heart shattered like I have never witnessed before. I got no sleep, I couldnt eat. I was just so confused by how a person I had no reason to believe would ever leave my life would leave. I had no reason to believe we would not move to South Carolina, and get two cats, and do all this white people shit that we had planned on. And then it was gone, and I couldn't understand. On Valentines day, Drew had given me a card that I treasure more than anything. I had stuck the card to my wall, and saved the envelope it came in, tucking it neatly under my textbooks.

Without disrupting the secrecy of Drew's feelings, the sparknotes version of the card said I love you way more than I have shown, and we have all the time in the world. One day, when I am king of all the lumber, I will give you that same world. The night we broke up, I took the card off the wall, and read it over and over again. I was thinking about how we actually might not have had all the time in the world. Infact, everything around me had started to feel un-ignorable and worryingly finite. Then I cried some more. I was angry, hurt, and understanding what it means to really care about someone. I wasn't perfect about this break up at all, but he was always there for me. I texted him, a lot. Please lets just forget about all this, I am sorry. I cant bear it any longer. I love you. It hurt just to send it. The whole time in my mind I was begging him to please run into me, please come over, please change his mind, please spontaneously decide to make some grand-gesture and come right back. What about the cats we were going to get? I often wonder how it would go down if I was ever the break-upper. Would he stop me? I am too scared to ask him, but a girl can hope.

Unfortunately, I am not wise enough to admit yet hey, this breakup was actually good for us. It helped us realize we need to communicate, and then all our problems seemed silly. It hurt a very deep attachment of mine, and I think it is actually important to respect that. Turns out you are allowed to be hurt, both of us are. I will say though that shit like this happens. We figured it out, and we found our rhythm, and its okay. It hurt, it sucked, it worked out. Talking about it feels like a huge relief. Kurt Vonnegut is my favorite author, and I like to revisit Slaughterhouse-Five every once in a while. “All moments, past, present and future, always have existed, always will exist.” All this happened, and here I am now, picking up used tissues from my floor. Loving every moment of it. I wish I was able to vocalize my love more. I wish there was a way to say out loud, I am so in love with you, you bring me back to life. But there isn't, not without being entirely embarassing atleast.

Here's what I will say, I actually do not know what is going to happen, but if we occasionally have to find ourselves out of a dirty, gross, complicated, achy feeling mess, I am more than happy to do it with you Drew. It is nice to sometimes float in a pool of my dreams. It is warm and the water feels good on my skin as I think about us being flabby-fourty year olds, or an annoyingly sloppy couple of 20-year-olds who desperately need to get a room. Whatever time we have left, I deeply cherish it. It completes me, it makes me feel like old Vaibhavi. A pre-daniel version I'd say.

It has been six months. I can hope for 6 million more.

[saphirered]

Saph I hope you feel better! I really liked the VM Snow White you just posted, but could you also please do the same prompt but with M9 boys including Molly? If you’re not feeling up to it that’s fine too!

Thank you! The meds are beginning to do their job luckily. I'm glad you liked the last one. I blinked, my hand slipped and now it's here. Prepare for some angst. Hope you enjoy! 😘

(Caleb)

Caleb had always known his past would come to haunt him. He was prepared for it. Prepared to take the hit, take responsibility for everything and he’d face his past be that with or without the people he loves. Part of him, once he got used to having these fools around, having you around, wanted it to be on his own, to protect them and protect you. To not have any more lives lost in the grand scheme. The people he loves becoming collateral would be unacceptable. But you had become collateral in the grand scheme of things.

When it became clear to his enemies he was a bit more attached to you than the others, they took this weakness and exploited it. They pushed his buttons before, using you as a tool, verbal bait even, but he never fell for it. His reluctancy to act on his feelings, to keep them to himself instead, were the very thing he hoped would keep those loose ends from latching onto you. His love is a curse, the objects of his desire always to be torn away from him no matter how hard he tries to prevent it. He’s lost you to that same curse. Not lost. Almost lost.

You’ve been cursed, your conscious mind separated from your unconscious body. Simple healing spells wouldn’t do the trick here. This curse holds no roots in the divine. He’s spent days researching and that much he could confirm. This curse would take an arcane approach. Something he prides himself in to be his specialty. Lucky you. Lucky him. He had the others bring all books, ancient scrolls and other sources of knowledge brought to him, along with a wide variety of components once he’d made a significant dent in the research matter, assuring him this would have the greatest chances of success.

It’s not the soft canopy bed with the plush pillows from the fairytales you’re placed on. Instead you lay on a wooden table, inscribed with all sorts of arcane sigils. Nor do you look like some angelic peaceful being. Your brow is furrowed in discomfort, your hands balled into fists at your sides. Caleb moves a brush against areas of exposed skin, painting symbols to match with precision and care, afraid to even make a single mistake, triple checking every mark. He speaks the incantations while incorporating the components varying from precious gems crushed and whole, herbs and incense. And then he waits. He doesn’t expect the effects to be immediate, often with these magics it is not and he knows that but that doesn’t get rid of the impatience and fear.

“How I long to hear your voice again. I know this will work but that doesn’t ease away the sliver of doubt. What if… What if… That’s what I keep asking myself. I know it’s stupid.” Caleb wipes an hand over his brow as he pulls up a chair and sits at your side, elbows leaning on the table careful to avoid any sigils just in case.

“It also faced me with the harsh reality that I held off telling you how I feel. It looks so stupid now in hindsight because what good did it do anyone. In the end you still ended up paying for my mistakes. I was stupid to push you away, try to convince you your own feelings were unreciprocated. I know I didn’t have you fooled in the slightest but to know I could have loved you, it makes me feel like I am to blame for wasting that opportunity and possibly shortening our time together. The thought of losing you before having given you my love will forever be my greatest regret.”

Caleb watches the muscle of your hand unclench and relax. He hears a deep intake of breath and staring at your face he’s met with your smile, one filled with love as he helps you sit up. All is good once more.

(Fjord)

Fjord’s drenched to the bone, out of breath, anger running through him like he’s never experienced. Still he’s unsure if his anger is directed at the one responsible for your eternal slumber or at himself for making a ballsy move that didn’t pay off in the slightest and in fact backfired in a worse way he could have ever imagined. He played a game of chicken with Uk’otoa and lost. He’d have been fine by letting someone else pay the price for him. Why should he care about some stranger becoming victim to the leviathan? The one who paid the price, became the victim to his actions didn’t end up being a stranger. It had to be you of all people hadn’t it?

Uk’otoa must have been watching his dreams, even his waking actions if that were possible and have seen his infatuation with you. When the leviathan threatened Fjord in another briny dream of his mentioning your name he had called bullshit. The snake had never been able to reach out to anyone it didn’t already have some kind of grasp on. Little did he know Uk’otoa had just that. Just enough of a sliver through him, and the Cloven Crystal to get to you.

So there Fjord sits at your bedside. You’re just as drenched as he is, hair dripping, skin glowing in the candle light of the room reflected off the water particles. Your lips are tinted blue, a redness around your eyes, your skin is cold. The sleep you’re in is a state of perpetual drowning and Fjord knows what it feels like, to drown. He can only hope you’re spared that pain. He doesn’t think he’ll be able to forgive himself if you are tortured like so because of his actions. Clasping your hand between both of his he runs his fingers over your knuckles. He bows his head. It still feels so wrong to not have you respond to his touch. So wrong.

“I want you to know that I am to blame for your fate. I’m about to do a very stupid thing to make it right. I know you’d tell me not to but I can’t sit by and watch you suffer like this. I’ve tried everything. I’ve begged and bargained. I’ve shouted at the skies but I got no reply. Everything comes up empty and I see no other choice than to do this. It might sound stupid but I came to ask for your forgiveness.” Fjord pauses. Usually he would have gotten a reply. He would sell his soul for just having you tell him everything will be alright. It’s a good thing he’s about to sell it for so much more than that. It’s worth it. It’s worth having you alive and well.

“I won’t ask for forgiveness for what I’m about to do because I will never regret it. I ask only you may one day forgive me for what I might become. I need you to know I love you and did, will do all of this out of love. That’s why I hope you’ll never see me again after I give myself to Uk’otoa. I can’t bare to watch that affection in your eyes being replaced by hatred, but most of all disappointment. I hoped to be worthy of your love and I will always regret never having truly experienced it.” Fjord’s voice cracks slightly. He studies your face, as if to ingrain every detail into his memory, as if he thinks he might never see it again.

“I’m afraid. I’m so deadly afraid.” Fjord whimpers pressing a kiss to the back of your hand before he lets go. He checks his supplies, taking out the Cloven Crystal, glaring at the orb intensely cursing the thing to oblivion. Coughs pull him out of his staring match with the crystal. Your body moves, leaning over the edge of the bed vomiting up brine. Fjord drops the orb and his belongings running over to you and helping you gather your bearings until you’re no longer chocking on sea water.

“You better not do what I think you’re planning with that orb or so help me Storm Lord, I will drown you myself.” Fjord can’t do anything but laugh despite the very real threat on his life as you pull him into your embrace.

(Caduceus)

Caduceus isn’t bothered by death. Death is part of life as much as living is. It’s inevitable. Every soul will move on, leaving its vessel for the earth, the fire or the wild things to bring forth something new. What does very much bother him are perversions of death, those who try to cheat death, upset the natural balance, maim and manipulate that what is and should be. He hates it with a passion and seeks to rectify it, return the world to that balance when faced with it. That’s where you come in. You much like him have a respect and understanding of life and death similar to his own. Very few people understand that. Very few people do not fear the end when they see it coming. You’re one of those very few people.

You understand Caduceus on a different level, in his sentiment and mannerisms while others may think him strange. Not that he cares if people do, you’ve been his filter in the big shiny new world past the borders of his grove. You’ve been his safety net, his grounding force, his safe haven when the world seems against him and he thinks his senses might be wrong. The Wild Mother must have gently blown her winds to bring you together.

That’s why it seems so wrong you’re affected by this darkness having taken hold over your body, leaving you in a state of not entirely alive nor dead. Resurrection has been futile as much as draining your life and allowing you to move to the care of the Wild Mother herself. You’re trapped and that’s why Caduceus fears what would happen should you die. He’s seen what this perversion of life and death has done to his home, the forests surrounding it and the creatures living in it. He’ll do everything in his power to prevent that from happening to you.

Caduceus has put your body through the typical burial rites and rituals, preserving what he can by using wards and the divine blessings granted to him by his goddess, sending her prayers of your recovery but you appear to be even beyond her reach now. He moves a damp cloth across your arms and face, brushing aside your hair, humming to himself until he’s done, moving on to clean the room around you, getting rid of the dust, placing things back where they belong and replacing the decayed flowers with fresh ones. Caduceus gathers his tea, preparing a cup for himself as he watches you.

“Can you show me how they’re doing?” The wind grows cold. He knew that would be the answer but still he could hope maybe that answer could change.

“Are they in pain?” The wind grows warm but then cold again. You were, but not anymore. It seems that the new wards he’s put up are doing their job. That’s good.

“Is there a cure?” The gentle breeze disappears. She doesn’t know then. This goes even beyond the goddess herself but it doesn’t mean it’s impossible. Caduceus will keep hope, though it is dwindling fast, for your sake he’ll have hope. He’s always spoken to the dead before and while you’re not really dead, there’s a strange comfort to something that feels so final.

“Hey. I’d ask you how you’re doing but that’s not gonna work now, is it? Don’t worry. You’re going to be fine. I know you are. You’ve managed to keep me alive with the others for much longer than I’ve been taking care of you like this. I think we’re going to be fine. I know you’re here but I still miss you. Calliope makes for terrible company watching things unfurl between the others. She’s too much of a hopeless romantic. You forgot to tell me the recipe to that special brew of yours. I’ve been trying to recreate it but I haven’t been able to. I think what I’m trying to say is, I could really do with having my best friend back. That’d be nice.”

Caduceus sips his tea, face devoid of his usual dopy smile. A sudden breeze hits through the window, blowing it open. A few lighter weight and loose items go flying but the thud of a heavier one is clear to hear. Caduceus closes the window and feels something solid hit his boot. It’s a crystal from the ones surrounding the grove. He picks it up, feeling the warmth run through it. The breeze directs towards you and he feels himself walking over to your body. The crystal calls to you and when it touches you your body runs with energy, pulsing, like you’ve been forcibly pulled back to this world. You look around eyes wide breathing heavy.

“Hey.” Caduceus smiles. “I made tea.”

(Mollymauk)

Maybe pretending you and him were some high born assholes was a questionable decision. Taking on an invite directed at the said people you were impersonating even more so, and stealing, sorry, borrowing without asking, some things from their summer cottage to swim in luxuries, an out right terrible idea when these people happen to be very well connected.

So when these fancy folk came back to the cottage earlier than expected, the two of you had grabbed what you could before making your grand escape, chased by their private guards until you lost them. A safe distance away you set up camp. Time to inspect your findings before returning to the carnival. Your eye for valuables had always been much more keen than Molly’s and your appraisals usually spot on. It was only natural he would let you do your thing but he’d still help you.

Particularly proud of getting some ornate jewellery box Molly had pried it open and revealed the jackpot. But of course you couldn’t just sell recognisable jewellery as is and you couldn’t keep such a thing on you very long. So of course you went to work, prying the stones from their settings. A particular necklace was giving you trouble, not even your tools being able to pry it out, you even broke one so you left that one for last.

The two of you had argued, eventually setting on just smashing the stone with the pommel of Molly’s scimitar, the broken gem still providing plenty of pay and not being as recognisable in peaces. So you held the necklace across a stone while he smashed it. When it did a spark hit, next thing he knew you were on the ground, your hands burned where you held the precious metal. At first he thought you were simply knocked out but when you didn't wake up he grew worried. Splashing water in your face, shaking you, lifting your legs, nothing got you to wake up so instead he carried you and the jewellery back to the carnival. Two days and still you didn’t wake up. It became clear this bloody gem was cursed when dark veins started crawling up your skin as the days passed.

Since this was technically on him, Molly took care of you. He makes quite a doting nurse when he wants to be but never without an inappropriate comment or two. It was quite strange to not hear you laugh at or scold him for these comments. Nevertheless he’d fluff up the pillow beneath your head, provide you an extra blanket when the night was cold, tell you stories, or simply the events of the day, the people who came to the carnival, some things he lifted from people’s pockets and so on. Molly has to say he’s ashamed to admit he’d got frustrated with your unresponsiveness or rather the fact you still hadn’t woken up and there was nothing the others could do for you. A healer would still be a week or so out.

“You know, while I’ve really begun getting used to these little one-sided conversations and your lack of judgement at some of my more terrible decisions I really prefer sharing them with you in the moment. I’ve gotten caught by the guards twice now and without you, Gustav is getting a bit sick of bailing me out. I miss our little flirtations. I miss your sometimes wrong opinions, though you’d say they’re proven facts. I miss your company. I think our time apart has given me time to reflect how much you truly mean to me and how much I need you in my life.” Molly leans on his elbow as he studies your face unmoving. You look so peaceful and asleep but he’d much rather get lost in your eyes when you’re awake.

“I laughed at you when you told me the most valuable thing in the world anyone could ever give another is their heart but I think I know what that means now. I’ll offer you mine if you will have it. So please, come back and make sure my head doesn’t get up too high into the clouds or I might just float away.” Molly leans back looking at the ceiling of the tent with a sigh. He’s pulled out of his mind by a snicker.

“A dramatic confession of love to the unconscious target of your affections? And you call me cliche.” Molly looks at your face, eyes still closed but smug grin clear on your face. He pokes your side making you jump.

“You are insufferable.”

[asweetprologue]

Nili’s Benchmark Geraskier Fic Rec List

hey yall! I officially hit 750 followers (a few days ago, I blew past the benchmark without even realizing!), which is... insane. I truly can’t believe that so many people over the last year have enjoyed my presence in this fandom enough to continue to follow my work. you guys are so great and I love you all so much, so I decided to put together a gift for you!

this is a list of my favorite geraskier fics from the fandom, which I have been putting together over the last year or so. a few of these are big in the fandom, but a lot of them are smaller pieces that I feel deserve more attention! I have provided ao3 and tumblr links where I could find them, as well as ratings and summaries. Most of these are canon!verse because I’m not personally a big fan of modern au’s, but there will be a few of those scattered throughout as well. I’ve divided the fics into two sections: oneshots and multichapter. See the list below the cut!

Being in this fandom truly has gotten me through the pandemic in a big way and I have made so many good friends while here. thank you all for validating my weird obsession with these characters and enabling me in these trying times <3

Oneshots

all that was good, all that was fair (all that was me is gone) | M | 7517 | WARNING: Graphic Depictions Of Violence | @xdandelionxbloomx

Somewhere, deep in a forest, a man drags himself from his grave by sheer power of will. He lies gasping on the forest floor and does not know who or what he is. The world is wide and wonderful, though, and there is so much to see.

Or, Jaskier is so stubborn that he literally comes back from the dead.

Another fascinating addition to the mythology of the Witcher. Jaskier’s slow rediscovery of himself is so well done here. One I’ve come back to again and again. 

As Fast As Love Can Go | T | 9628 | @bygodstillam

There are Faeries in the Wood.

That's what everyone said, at least, not that there was any solid proof. Jaskier had tried, more than once, to find some. Just a hint somewhere, of a real story, of real magic. But all anyone seemed to have was stories.

Jaskier was determined to find proof. He wasn't expecting to find a witcher in the process.

Fascinating fic with some really interesting worldbuilding, and a fresh new take on True Love’s Kiss. Also with some great art by @hehearse!

beautiful, he stirs up still things | T | 2575 | @alittlebitmaybe

“You’re not asking me to dance,” says Geralt.

Jaskier turns his palm up on his knee, offering it. “I think you’ll find I am.”

Just them dancing. This is a lovely sort of pre-relationship dynamic. So soft.

Dialogue Prompt | NR | 2932 | @reinvent-and-believe

Dialogue Prompt 48: “You make me want things I can’t have.” Wordless I-love-you 50: buying them a special treat when you go out shopping

Geralt gets Jaskier a gift, which prompts some confessions.

Even a small love | E | 22,272 | WARNING: Rape/Non-Con 

“Well,” Jaskier replies distractedly. “Lots of things want to strangle you.”

“You don’t.”

It isn’t a particularly troublesome accusation, or even necessarily an accusation at all.

This is one I read early on in the fandom, and it really stuck with me. The dynamic between Jaskier and Geralt is perfect, and the misunderstandings between them feel so realistic. The non-con is not extreme, but do mind the warnings. 

For the Space of a Heartbeat | T | 2021 | @drowningbydegrees

As it turns out, falling into bed with your very best friend who you are privately very much in love with isn't nearly so nerve wracking as waking up with them the morning after.

Just sweet, morning after discussions. I love to see them talking for once.

Greensleeves | T | 10,414 | @rebrandedbard

When Geralt crosses paths with Jaskier in the spring, the world is dressed in green. Quite literally. Everyone everywhere is wearing green, and it all comes down to a song Jaskier has written that, to his mortification, has become popular throughout the Continent. It's torment, being forced to preform the song over and over again and have his heart broken anew. But who is this Lady Greensleeves the people say Jaskier is so maddeningly, heartbrokenly in love with? At the baron's wedding party, Geralt is determined to find out.

This is one of my personal faves - there’s just something about Jaskier’s feelings being put on blast while Geralt remains totally oblivious that I think is so very them. And the resolution at the end is delightful.

I Don’t Wanna Fall (If It’s Not In Love) | E | 13,902 | @writinglizards

The first time it's out of desperation. Things get rapidly out of hand from there.

OR the building of a relationship through mutual wank sessions.

I love everything Ashley writes, but this one was the first fic I read by her and it still has a warm place in my heart. I also highly recommend It’s Been A While (makes me cry every time) and Tell Me Honestly

Like a Storm, Like a Flood | T | 1065 | @valdomarx

Jaskier is leaving for the winter, and Geralt can't bear the thought of not seeing him for months.

It was soooo hard to pick only one fic by George, but this one is so soft and sweet and yearning I just had to go with it. This is really just about Geralt finally hitting a breaking point and saying enough is enough.

one flesh | E | 10,763 | WARNING: MCD 

“Well, then. I’m a ghost.” Jaskier spread his arms grandly. Geralt held his gaze for a moment, then dropped his head and laughed. Jaskier put his hands on his hips. “Do fill me in on what’s so funny.” It wasn’t funny. It was just so - ridiculous, the things Geralt’s fucked up brain would invent. This had to be the last nail in the sanity coffin, it just had to be.

Or: Jaskier is a ghost, and Geralt is a mess.

Jaskier dies and comes back as a ghost to haunt Geralt into taking care of himself. Geralt does not handle this gracefully. This fic is so sad and heartbreaking, but the ending is so sweet.

to render it transparent | E | 23,901

Geralt wakes up warm, peaceful, and utterly content, which is how he knows that something is severely wrong.

Sigh. This fic. This is a time travel fic - Geralt ends up in the future living with Jaskier on the coast, just after the mountain. It’s slow and beautiful and extremely bittersweet, all about how we choose to love people despite how much it can hurt us.

With All the Continent A Stage | M | 4745 | @greyduckgreygoose

Later, Geralt learned that the play was four hours long. Four hours long. It didn’t feel like it. Most of it passed by in a fever dream of ominous music, dance-fighting and dryads in gossamer leaves, swinging from hoops attached to the ceiling. Yennefer made an appearance, played by Priscilla in a glittering negligee. She sang a song to Geralt about putting him “Under Her Spell”, and they had a sensual dance number which was made a little strange by a sickened Jaskier (played by Jaskier) coughing loudly in the background.

(Jaskier invites Geralt to a musical production inspired by his own life.)

Jaskier basically writes Geralt a love letter in the form of a four hour long play. Geralt is an idiot about it.

Multi-Chapter Fics

A Lover’s Lament | M | 25,364 | @somedrunkpirate

So,” Jaskier begins, as casually as he can, “you are telling me, that in theory, if I were to be in love with someone — anyone — that person could well be in terrible danger?”

Of all terrible and ridiculous things that have threatened Geralt’s safety, Jaskier’d never thought that loving him might be what will get him killed.

I honestly can’t count the number of times I’ve read this fic. The monster is so interesting, and the mythos of it fits seamlessly into the world of the Witcher in my mind. Jaskier being so afraid that his feelings are going to put Geralt at risk, clearly unable to see that Geralt is going through the exact same thing. I think about the scene with them looking at each other almost daily. 

A Pair of Gloves, the Scent of Roses | M | 24,134 | WARNING: Graphic Depictions of Violence

In the bustling days before the Midsummer festival, Geralt is sent into the countryside to deal with a monster - with Jaskier once again by his side. But the bard has not forgiven him, and while he's not hiding his contempt for the Witcher, he is recalcitrant about revealing his true motives for joining him. As the hunt turns into a desperate mission to save an innocent man and the monster is not what is seems to be, Geralt learns a few new things about his old friend and decides to finally attempt to mend the rift between them...

This is one of my favorite’s in the fandom - it feels so believable, the world is so rich and the oc’s are convincing and charming. Geralt and Jaskier feel so honest here, stumbling around each other but still drawn together. Beautiful beautiful beautiful

Bearing the will of the flower | NR | 11,449 

The way Jaskier sees it, his hobby of following a witcher around was always pretty likely to get him killed.

The fact that it's happening now because the witcher in question doesn't love him, he thinks as he coughs up crumpled flowers, hardly makes a difference.

My favorite hanahaki fic in the fandom. I’m such a sucker for these, and these two idiots being so incapable of talking about their feelings really makes them prime candidates. 

Food of Love | T | 22,488 | @wallatile-qvibbler

I brought a dead princess back to life through the power of song is the kind of thing that would have got an eyebrow raise even from the stone-faced Geralt of Rivia, so it's a good thing he and Geralt will probably never see each other again.

(or: the one where Jaskier channels magic through his songs, and it almost never goes as expected.)

This is a Jaskier and Renfri centric fic, which wasn’t something I knew I wanted until I read this. Jaskier is a bard which in this AU comes with magical powers, but it feels so well integrated into the universe that I wish it was just... how the Witcher is. Renfri is so good here, and even though Jaskier and Geralt barely even interact you can feel the tension and love between them. Cannot recommend highly enough.

friends and allies of the witcher | T | 10,312 | @theamazingbard

Yennefer crawls over to her newest cellmate. They’re curled up on their side. Breathing, but only just. She’s not sure what she’s hoping for when she turns them over. Still isn’t when she sees that it is indeed Jaskier.

“Shit."

Yennefer and Jaskier each suffer in more ways than one at the hands of Nilfgaard.

Yennefer and Jaskier get capture by Nilfgaard and tossed into a cell together. Exactly what I want out of season 2 honestly. Their interactions are gold.

I’d Be the Choiceless Hope | E | 45,188 | WARNING: Rape/Non-Con | @lesdemonium

As a baby, Jaskier was visited by a fae, who gifted Jaskier's mother with Jaskier's obedience. As Jaskier grew older, the "gift" became more of a curse.

You know I’m not gonna make a rec list without listing Zoe’s Ella Enchanted au. Need I say more?

Silver and Copper | M | 56,139 | WARNING: Graphic Depictions of Violence | @kaer-cuan

Geralt is just supposed to pass through the quiet Lettenhove area. He's not anticipating being begged by its people to help save their viscount from a curse that keeps him from daylight. Lord Jaskier, they call him, and he's likely dying.

As Geralt struggles to untangle the ugly web of history that has lead to the increasingly complicated curse, he finds himself spending more and more time with the strange young viscount and wondering just what he might have been before the curse, and who he might be after. But things are not always as they seem, and as the curse tightens its grip on Jaskier, Geralt is forced to face the fear of failing yet another person whose choices were stolen from them.

Or-

Jaskier is kept from becoming a bard. Geralt finds him anyway.

This is a fic that haunts me. It’s very scary in parts, and mind the tags - there are some very heavy themes here. But it’s beautiful and touching, and Jaskier feels very true to himself even though his origin is so different.

we could be married (and then we'd be happy) | E | 50,222 | @a-kind-of-merry-war

Jaskier reached into his pocket, fingers grasping around the little box. He pulled it out with what he hoped was a romantic flourish, flipping it open to reveal the simple gold band inside. “Geralt,” he said, confidently, cooly, like this wasn’t terrifying, “Will you marry me?”

Geralt and Jaskier fake marriage proposals to get free deserts and shit but it goes tits up when Vesemir catches them in the act. Not knowing how to fess up, they go along with it for a while, which is hell because they’re both pining like mad. As I said, I don’t love modern au’s, but it’s merry so of course this one had to end up on my list.

~

And that’s it! 20 fics for you, and hopefully you can all find one or two you haven’t read before. There are a lot of people and fics that I didn’t include in this list only because I was trying to not put a million down (which I could). I highly recommend anything by @wherethewordsare, @julek, @contemplativepancakes, @witcher-and-his-bard, and @inber, as well as those linked to fics above, and I’m sure there are others I forgot to mention. Yall have truly made being in this fandom worthwhile <3

[lvnatiq]

Random Relationship Headcanons | Felix Escellun x gn!reader

a/n: Hey ! On todays menu I am serving you modern au relationship headcanons. I know for a fact that I can’t write headcanons AT ALL yet here we are, out of spite I will keep trying until I can manage to write good shit. I’m going through a chaotic time in my life so please be patient with me 😭

I’m currently working on tattoo artist! reader x Felix headcanons and college!enemies to lovers one-shot. Knowing that Felix’s fav trope is enemies to lovers, I will post it hopefully before his new chapter drops. I used most of the hcs that were sent to me but if you couldn’t see yours, then it will probably be used on the other works.

No beta we die like men.

warnings: curse words, nsfw under the cut, random sage moments, felix being a ‘the neighborhood’ song basically.

You persuade him to start an Instagram account, and because of his family's popularity, he quickly gains followers. His account is practically empty because he would rather spend his time stalking your account on Instagram. You noticed the emptiness and wanted to take him out and take some photos for his account, which turned out amazingly. He is a little camera shy, so be patient with him.

You like to watch him apply his eyeliner but he finds it so stressing to do under your gaze.  He used to be able to do it easily, but it has now become one of his most difficult tasks. You wanted to ask for his assistance in applying eyeliner to you in the hopes of making it simpler for him; he agreed but quickly regretted it when he realized how near your faces would be. You with your eyes closed, waiting for him to drag the line as he was only thinking about how bad he wanted to kiss you. 

Felix has a Polaroid of you and stella in his wallet I said what I said.

When it comes to himself, he can be a pessimist, but when it comes to you, he is the most loving and positive boyfriend you could ever ask for. You have a dream ? He is ready to help you achieve it. Do you want to change in your life ? Go for it, He’s more excited than you are.

He can be quite insecure at times when it comes to your relationship because he feels like you deserve the world but the world is too big for his tiny hands. Will his cuddles be enough ? God he hopes so.

He almost cried when you told him you loved him for the first time. He's also baffled as to how you might feel the same way about him.

Drunk Felix is really clingy and honest. Whatever he can’t say sober drunk felix can and definitely will.

“May the stars let my death be between your glorious thighs amen-“ “Felix-”

Felix is weird but it add to his charm. It’s not unusual for you to wake up in the middle of the night and find the pillow besides yours empty. In the dead of night, you will find Felix munching on some weird ass food combinations.

He also has a habit of doing things that are extremely adorable without even noticing it. Like walking around the house in his oversized shirts, his hand clutching at the cuffs whilst the other one sheepishly rubs his eye.

“Can I lay on your lap ? I promise I won’t fall asleep. I just need to rest for a little.” His voice is so soft and hushed. “Of course, come here.” He throws himself onto you as he comes hopping on his tip toes.

He falls asleep on his desk too often, so you have to carry him back to his room, where he snuggles against you while you lead him there. Once he's in his room, he insists that you stay with him, so you wait until he falls asleep as you play with his hair, and he wakes up thinking it was all a dream.

I firmly believe that Felix’s love language is acts of service. Like making you coffee and bringing you random snacks as you work or wrapping you up in fluffy blankets whenever he catches you slacking on the couch.

He's been romanticizing anything and everything since he met you. When he sees beautiful flowers, he wants to bring them to you, but he also believes that their beauty stems from the fact that they are alive, so he argues and stresses a lot when deciding what to do in simple situations like these.

His edginess belongs to his impulsiveness and his style only at any other situation he's a complete softboy.

And I'm certain he knows a variety of card tricks. He enjoys showing off, and he enjoys it even more when you become fascinated and beg him to share the trick.

If you're a morning person, you'll probably spend your mornings alone in solitude, finishing work before the day begins, but if you're a night owl, you and Felix will go out for night walks and Felix would go out for night walks, sharing headphones to play some music, enjoy each others presence and develop a habit of watching the sunrise together.

Felix makes you playlists at the most random times and with the most random names. Until one day he sent you a playlist at around 4 a.m called “you”, filled with his favorite music. He usually sees music as a safe space for himself and now that you are his safe place too it’s only appropriate for him to do so. This only further proves how he spends his time thinking about you.

I feel like Felix would have what most would call "attachment issues" but it’s mainly because of his protective tendencies. This is not to say that he’s this "overly jealous toxic" character; rather, he has never had anyone to truly call his own in his entire life so he would do anything to protect it.

Felix is also big on astrology, so if you want the perfect birth chart, he'll give it to you. Also he owns a lovely deck of tarot cards, and if you ask him for a love reading, he can't manage to keep his words and feelings to himself so he modifies your reading according to him and his desires. Let the boy abuse his powers for the sake of love.

His style could be described as dark academia, his wardrobe mainly consists of dark colors, lots and lots of blazers and a lot of oversized shirts. He also loves jewelry so he owns a lot of rings and chains. Just so you know, if you're wearing any of his rings, his heart is doing cartwheels.

Is it obvious that he loves it when you place your hand in his and play with his rings with your fingertips.

Spoil him. Buy him that baby blue hoodie with cat ears.

“Ah, you look adorable.” “Isn’t it a bit too b-big ?” “You could say that. Do you mind ?” “No, I like it that way.” “I would know.” You smirk followed by felix’s gasp. “If you so desperately wanted a cat boy you know you have me right ?” Nudging your shoulder, Sage leapt into the conversation. “What is he talking about ?”  Felix grumbled, only to notice two fuzzy triangular fabrics on top of his head as he brushed his fingertips over it.

He’s obsessed with your hands, kissing your knuckles, drawing circles in your palm. At a certain point it became an involuntary gesture he does it quite often without realizing.

He’s also canonically extremely blushy but he would never admit it. You’re convinced he uses some sort of make up because it is not possible for the pink dusting his cheeks to look this good.

He insists that you’re cold even in the warmest weathers because he wants to see you in his coat.

Sage forces Felix to take his thirst trap Tiktoks.

He really appreciates it when you add to his herbal tea collection without him noticing and he considers it a sign of affection because he takes his tea very seriously.

He loses it when you call him baby he gets flustered and frustrated but it’s all because it rolls off of your tongue so nicely that he can’t get enough of it.

Felix owns a broad collection of scented lip balms some of them are tinted. You didn’t hear this from me.

He never once took anything the Sage says seriously until he saw how well you two got along. He never thought that he would be standing there taking relationship and flirting advice from the frat boy.

Felix is a complete asshole when he wants to. He’s very verbal about it too. Consistent sarcastic remarks and eye rolls. I mean it runs in his blood, look at Escell.

You love it when he suddenly whips out the confident Felix, it’s not a daily occurrence you know.

When Felix is concentrated, he’s lost and there’s almost no way you or anything else can distract him. So it’s time to grab some colorful hair clips and ties to fuck around with his hair.

Felix is not the best at verbally expressing his gratitude towards you. He doesn’t know what he would do if you weren’t there for him at the lowest points of his life where normally he would close himself and bare the weight of his family problems and personal life issues that he can’t seem to get out of. Now he has you, someone who’s willing to listen to him and offer him a warm embrace when he needs the most. 

While you to play games together, when he wins he wears that iconic shit eating grin of his with pride looking at you through the corner of his eye. “Shit, what do you want me to say to that felix ? Perhaps I should call you master now that you won ‘one’ fucking round.” He is praying that the screen light is covering the fact that he is a blushy mess after hearing you say that.

NSFW

I cannot stress this enough but he is extremely vocal in bed. Whining, trying to restrict himself from making too much noise but failing miserably.

Muffled pants, choked sobs and lots of pleasure infused tears.

He loves getting praised during sex but what he loves more is to get praised after it’s all over. Like you telling him how great he was, how well he behaved, how good he made you feel. He experiences sub drops a lot so please assure him that he did well :(

He’s into power-play but not in a submissive or dominant kind of relationship, it’s more of a psychological thing where the fact that he can see how good he makes you feel gives him a rush of confidence and adrenaline.

I believe that this motherfucker is a masochist, pain makes him more excited than getting an update on his favorite author who went on a year long hiatus and that is saying a lot.

Bite him. Scratch him. It is so stimulating for him he can reach his high just from those actions.

Fuck do anything to his ears bite, lick, pull, blow on it. He is extremely sensitive so anything you do will basically drive him out of his mind. It will most definitely lead to him trembling beneath your fingertips.

You must think that you are the only one who is such a tease but you’re wrong. Felix teases you quite often mostly to direct your attention towards him or to keep your attention on him. He’s quite greedy when it comes to you and your hands on his body. Unbuttoning unnecessary amount of buttons on his shirt to show a little skin that he knows you’ll notice. Playing with his necklace placing the chain between his lips dragging it towards the inside of his bottom lip teasing the metallic charm with the tip of his tongue. He definitely ain’t oblivious he knows exactly what he’s doing and he makes sure that you know exactly what he’s doing.

When he’s in the mood he will tug the hem of your top meanwhile his eyes are glued to the floor or graze the temples of his glasses between his lips, his teeth lightly nibbling the pointy edge. He loves to play dumb too. When you question him, he acts like he doesn’t intend anything and that you need to get your head out of the gutter.

At the end of the session Felix looks divine. Drool leaking down from his bottom lip to his jaw line towards his neck, his bangs sticking on his sweat coated forehead, his chest rising up and down quickly. His eyes rolled at the back of his head, his hands still clutching tightly to the sheets. Faint whimpers and deep breaths filling the air.

Leading up to the after care, his shy self returns. He buries his face to your chest hiding his blushy cheeks beneath the palms of his hands.

He likes to experiment a lot and you are his favorite subject.

It shouldn’t be surprising to find random kink definitions or role-play ideas on the search history of your laptop. After all Felix just asked for it to write an email, that’s all there is to it. That’s until you offer to try them out.

He doesn’t act upon his jealousy, what he does instead is that leaving marks on you especially around your neck and your chest where he knows it will show. Don’t cover them up if you don’t wanna deal with him.

“People just don’t appreciate art anymore.” “Felix these are, hickeys.” “Oh so now you are judging my art medium ?” “Since when proving Sage that I got railed by you is a form of art ?”

I didn’t see anyone point this out but whenever he is in the sub space he tends to be more on the bratty side. He starts of shy but his confidence builds up as the tension rises. Meaning that you should be ready to get your patience tested.

When you two are in separate places your suggestive words and tone leads up to phone sex, which Felix secretly fantasized about a lot. What made everything even more dirty was the fact that you didn’t know that he was laying on your bed surrounded by your scent and humping your pillow. Once you come back home you are greeted with a fresh pair of sheets on your bed. Apparently Felix decided to do you a favor and clean your room as well as the the whole house. He’s crossing fingers that you don’t notice because he knows that he’ll never hear the end of it.

Felix knows a lot about sex but his knowledge is based upon fiction rather than experience. So, naturally, he is more interested about learning specifically how your body responds to certain actions, what you enjoy and what you’re interested in so teach him. He’s a good student and oh well he’s a quick learner.

Pull his hair pull his hair put his hair pull his hair pull his hair pull his hair pull his hair pull his hair.

When he settles between your legs as he ties his hair, he places the hairband between his lips and looks up at you with half lidded eyes. It’s his definition of torture.

Even though he doesn’t give off that vibe, he is very freaky if you would’ve known what his AO3 tags consisted of you would agree.

Tag list is open

[hematomes]

listen. i have made a discovery abt scaramouche. it's after literally everyone else but just in case there are other lost souls, here goes

did you know that the heart mentioned in the bloom times

"You once acquired the 'heart' that you always dreamed of,"

"But it was but a mere prop for lies and deception."

and in the song of life

Later, the lovely puppet would finally obtain that "heart."

It was, after all, his purpose for being, the very reason he existed.

Yet, it was not what the puppet truly desired,

For it did not contain any blessings,

But was instead a sacrifice brimming with selfishness, hypocrisy, cunning and curses,

All wrapped in an amiable husk.

is actually a delusion?

The wanderer did not know that he had any faculties for dreaming,

Thinking that this must have been the researchers' little trick,

Or perhaps it was the infinitesimal resistance of that bygone heart.

I THOUGHT IT WAS THE GNOSIS FOR SOME REASON, and that we were really far from the end of his character act??? i am stupid. anyway, that's not the only thing ive noticed, now with the event i have a conclusion: the next time we'll see scaramouche should be the last major act for him before he joins the party (if he does, but as i previously stated it's basically certain).

the lore attached to this set is a bit hard to really analyze for my sad little brain because there are several different times, but it says in the cup lore that his story is, since inspired by traditional japanese theater, cut in 3 acts: "But for now, his three acts are still ongoing."

we have actually seen all 3 acts:

the 1.1 event with the meteorites

"Lord Harbinger. Where are you headed?"

The youth, hating chatty humans the most, gave his subordinate a backhand slap.

But he also loved watching expressions of terror and helplessness play across human faces,

And it was perhaps precisely because of this imbecilic underling's expressiveness that he had kept them around.

He told the groveling, quailing figure that they were headed east, for Mondstadt.

the 2.6 event with the irodori festival

Amenoma, Futsu, Isshin, Hyakume, Senju.

These were, once upon a time, the five branches of the Raiden Gokaden,

But today, only Amenoma still maintains its line of succession.

[...]

The wanderer would never admit to this.

He would never admit that he had done this as an act of revenge against the bladesmith.

Nor would he ever mention the truth,

That he had abandoned his schemes halfway because they had suddenly become dull.

He would only say, in that tone of voice he had learned from a certain researcher:

"It was all just a little experiment into human nature."

and we're in the last one since the archon quest, when he finally obtained the gnosis

"You once acquired the 'heart' that you always dreamed of,"

"But it was but a mere prop for lies and deception."

"Now, you will finally obtain what belongs to you,"

"And this false construct of a body can at last aspire to power over this world."

but what's interesting is what immediately follows this:

"Yet, this is all but a fleeting dream of glory."

"And it will all one day drift away amidst the sighs of a suffering earth..."

the thing abt the suffering earth is really fucking with me, because my first thought would've been another cataclysm. but im conflicted, because that would mean that he'd give up on the gnosis & his aspirations because of yet another war?

and we know that things in sumeru aren't really going well right now, to put it lightly; i don't know if this is foreshadowing some terrible shit going on in sumeru (maybe involving the fatui? lots of players are expecting to see dottore in sumeru, and there were some speculations abt arlecchino as well), or if it means we won't see him again until the end of the main quest, when we (maybe) confront either celestia and/or the abyss order

my heart wants the 1st one to be more likely, but i have to admit, this wouldn't be surprising if a cataclysm were the only thing that could convince scara to join us lmao. then again, the fatui also could be a reason, especially since childe is looking for him rn. im calling it now: childe rerun in 3.0 /hj

[blockgamepirate]

Technoblade’s purpose in the political narrative of the Dream SMP

I can’t sleep so I decided to finally write the post I’ve been struggling with for literal months, except way more casual because I can’t be bothered anymore and also I’m sleep deprived.

So the thing is: to me the DSMP storyline has always been primarily political, probably because I was introduced to it through Wilbur who was definitely going for political, and also because I’m just generally interested in political narratives right now. Obviously I appreciate the character work and the personal relationship stuff, that’s what makes it more interesting than just dry allegory, but when it comes down to it, this story is about politics to me. So that’s the angle I’m going to approach it from.

Also not to spoil the conclusions here, but I’m an anarchist, that’s my lens.

(Obviously all of this is about rp from here on out unless otherwise specified)

Basically the situation as Techno joins the server is this: L'Manburg exists as an autonomous nation and is de facto independent although not officially recognised by the Dream SMP. The self-appointed president Wilbur Soot decides to hold an election and rig it in order to consolidate his power over the nation he founded and he gets his VP Tommyinnit to join in on the plan. Their scheme fails and they end up voted out instead. The new president, Schlatt, immediately establishes himself as an authoritarian figure and exiles Wilbur and Tommy.

A couple of points on what the election arc demonstrates:

1: the appearance of democracy can be used for distinctly undemocratic purposes.

2: even if the elections aren’t rigged, the electoral system could be massively flawed and end up favouring a party that in fact didn’t have the popular vote

3: even if the winning government (the coalition in this case) has the majority vote, that doesn’t guarantee that they’ll actually act according to the popular will.

4: the supporters of the losing parties basically just have to let the majority overrule their wishes, espcially since apparently L’Manburg doesn’t have an established role for an opposition, yikes. That’s actually a MAJOR oversight in the system but I’m not gonna go into that too much.

5: frankly as an anarchist I am just deeply cynical towards representative democracy, and just because you have a token appearance of choice and consent doesn’t mean that it isn’t a hierarchical and authoritarian system. And to be fair, from my point of view this applies even to so-called liberal democracies and progressive parties. Full disclosure: even if L'Manburg was the ideal example of a representative democracy (which it very much isn’t) I would still be opposed to it because I fundamentally do not believe in top down systems, even electoral ones.

6: despite all these flaws, all the characters seem to implicitly accept the electoral system as legitimate. There’s criticism against the actions of individual characters acting within the system, such as Quackity calling out Wilbur for trying to rig the election, but nobody is questioning the system itself.

So at this point I’m sitting there, watching all this go down, and thinking “man, this would be so much more bearable if there was an anarchist point of view being represented in the story.”

And hey, look who IMMEDIATELY SHOWS UP.

Okay, I’m not gonna lie, early installation Technoblade is not the best representation of anarchism. I was mostly rooting for him out of sheer contrarianism initially. I didn’t really even care if it would be another Killmonger/Magneto/Zaheer situation because I’m used to reading against the authorial intent when it comes to these things. Sometimes any representation is better than no representation, even with political ideologies. That’s not to say that him just straight up spouting this hobbesian notion of a “dog-eat-dog world” didn’t grate on me, obviously it did.

That kind of worldview of humanity needing authority in order to prevent chaos and conflict is literally antithetical to anarchism and is the favourite talking point of authoritarians, the least anarchist people there are. It’s literally what people use to argue AGAINST anarchism. I think it’s mostly because cc!Techno obviously wasn’t particularly educated on anarchist thought and was just basically having fun roleplaying with his friends at this point. Which is frustrating but fair enough I guess.

Cynical ideas about human nature are pretty deeply rooted in the mainstream, unfortunately, most people just consider it common sense. And like I said, it’s a huge talking point in the propaganda against anarchism.

(… even though in fact these arguments were originally used against proponents of representative democracy. Hobbes himself was very much a monarchist, the idea of letting normal people vote for their representatives would have been terrifying to him. Like surely the world would descent into a free-for-all war, all against all. Imagine letting commoners have OPINIONS, the horror.)

So yeah, that stuff was pretty ehhhhh. It was basically what I’d expected though: cc!Techno isn’t an anarchist and we just don’t get accurate representation from non-anarchists, ever. What I dared to hope was that Techno’s character would at least stay consistent about his opposition to ALL governments. I was pretty sure that he would, even though it seemed like the majority of the fandom at the time was convinced that he would switch over to Schlatt’s side or something. It would have been a really shitty twist, I would have ragequit immediately. I mean what would have been the entire point of his character then? He might as well have been a random mercenary. Why even have his character be an anarchist if you were just going to make him work for a government?

(ftr this is kinda my biggest problem with the Hypixel Skyblock revolution event lol, honestly I think that was a worse depiction of anarchism than early DSMP Technoblade. I mean the speech was good, but… still became a government official, tho. booooooooo, cringe)

And yes, I was rooting against L'Manburg, obviously, and I would have even if it had meant having to deal with another badly written anarchist villain character. I never understood why people saw L'Manburg as the good guys, they were nationalist and exclusionary and their whole existence was based on trying to scam people for money.

I mean they were definitely funny, they were great entertainers. I have no problems with people rooting for them because they’re fun to watch; I did that for a bit too. But people were starting to get really into the story and talk about Wilbur and Tommy, the corrupt politicians, and the country that literally excluded people based on nationality as the heroes, unironically, which was wild to me. And when Wilbur started his “villain arc” well: people called it a villain arc, as if he hadn’t been pretty much a bad guy from the beginning, constantly just out for money and power and taking advantage of the people around him and then pretending to be the victim when challenged. I mean yes he got worse, but I wouldn’t call it a villain arc, more like just a mental breakdown arc.

More importantly, to me L'Manburg represented so many things I hate about the status quo in real life, and seeing the fandom mostly unquestioningly accept it as good just pissed me off. Still pisses me off tbh. I mean, to be diplomatic I could say that I understand the emotional attachment and the way L'Manburg was built up mirrors a lot of how real nations are built and how they create a sense of patriotism out of symbols and a sense of honour and loyalty, and it’s actually really fascinating how it even works in a Minecraft roleplay. Says something about the human mind I guess. Doesn’t mean I have to like it though.

Anyway, I just wanted to see literally any kind of opposition to power, even if it had to come from a character that was unquestionably a villain, which I fully assumed Techno would be. Because political narratives so often just leave us out, or at best barely mention us. And even from a narrative point of view, adding an anarchist perspective to a political story just objectively broadens its scope and actually challenges people who are used to only arguing along the lines of conservative or liberal, welfare state or privatization, nationalism or multiculturalism, etc. Even if the original work dealt with it poorly, at least it would give me the excuse to rant about it on Tumblr, which is kinda why I revived my old Minecraft sideblog for this. (That and pig!Techno fanart.)

Also how can you have a story so fundamentally about power without its counterpoint: the rejection of power?

(Yes, Dream SMP as a whole is definitely a narrative about power, it’s a huge theme for Wilbur, Quackity, Dream, Eret and the Badlanders at least, as well as obviously the anarchist characters from the opposite direction.)

So yeah, the build up to November 16th for me was mainly about the anticipation for what Techno would do, how would Techno’s character respond to the seemingly inevitable formation of a new government. THAT was the point of interest for me, that was what I was the most invested in. Would we get an actual anarchist opposition as a new side to the conflict or would they just awkwardly drop that whole angle? Or even have him team up with Schlatt like a complete sellout? There was so much potential but I worried they might just waste it.

And I was right to worry since apparently in the original script Techno wasn’t supposed to do anything, he was just there to help fight Schlatt and witness the explosion along with everyone else.

And WOW that would have been so incredibly boring

Not even just from the political perspective, just talking about the narrative in general terms here: imagine November 16th without Techno’s plot points. Not only would it have been boring for Techno’s character but it would have been equally boring for basically everybody but Wilbur and Philza. An anticlimactic fight followed by a big explosion that pretty much everybody had seen coming already. Yes, the button room scene is dramatic and heartbreaking… for Wilbur and Phil. But nobody else was there to see it. For everybody else, it was just a big explosion. It would have been such a huge disservice to anyone watching the other POVs.

Techno’s intervention gave everyone an ACTUAL climactic fight, it allowed characters other than Wil and Phil to witness some actual drama happening and to participate in it, rather than just waiting around for the explosion, while also foreshadowing the explosion. Even better, it provoked SO MUCH discussion in the fandom AND gave a perfect hook for future conflicts to arise. Wilbur’s end was tragic but it was, at the time, final. L'Manburg would have still suffered a catastrophe but it would have been left with just the same exact antagonist as before: Dream.

And at this point Dream’s core goals had barely changed, just his approach was now different. Yes, that makes a difference for the plot, but it doesn’t really change much in terms of ideological conflict. Especially since there really isn’t that big of an ideological difference between Dream and Tommy, because arguably neither of them are particularly big on ideology in the first place, they just have conflicting goals and use different tactics to achieve those goals (well, the tactics aren’t always even that different *cough Spirit cough*).

Techno’s conflict with Tubbo and especially Quackity (and honestly most of the other characters in general) brings in so much more depth to the story, just by introducing another angle, not to even mention how much it brings to focus questions about power and violence. These are themes that exist in other characters’s storylines too but nowhere in the same way or as central as with Techno.

I’m getting kind of ahead of myself here, though.

The real twist of November 16th was the fact that Techno WASN’T a straight up villain, actually. It was a twist to me anyway, because with all my cynicism I just didn’t see it coming, I didn’t expect him to actually start making reasonable criticisms. I didn’t expect him to drop the hobbesian arguments entirely and start making points that actually sounded like anarchism.

I have to assume that cc!Techno must have seen some of the criticisms of his character and been inspired to adjust because the difference is pretty notable.

(Sidenote: I’m just forever kinda sad that Techno’s “I may seem like the villain here” monologue was cut from the video and most people never heard it.)

And I felt SO validated by the way, because it works so well in the story! Everyone is mostly content with the restoration of a status quo of some sort, Schlatt is gone, this is supposed to be the good ending, and then Techno calls them all out and turns the narrative around completely: This was just a coup d'état. This was just the previous political leadership retaking power by force. Why is everyone celebrating the same exact system that lead to Schlatt’s authoritarian rule in the first place?

What he does there is force the audience to question the narrative they’ve been presented so far, that they’ve accepted without a thought. It might not convince them, but they can’t just ignore it either.

Whatever you wanna say about the discourse around Techno on that day, in the ideological narrative THIS IS THE IMPORTANT PART. Not who betrayed who or when is political violence justified, that’s about personal relationships and morality and it’s mostly all more relevant to the aftermath than the event itself. In my opinion, the REAL point in the moment is that the characters and the audience were comfortable with the ending only to be presented with a completely new perspective on the events.

It also recontextualises the finale, including Wilbur’s actions! It’s a much more ambiguous end to the Pogtopia vs Manburg arc and to Wilbur’s original run as the head writer. Wilbur’s “even with Tubbo in charge I don’t think [that ‘special place’] can exist again” is vague enough to be dismissed as just part of his paranoia and internal conflict, but with Techno, there’s a concrete question: what if Tubbo, given the same powers as Schlatt, will turn out to be just a new Schlatt? And suddenly you have to wonder what Wilbur meant by his words too. And was all this foreshadowing something about L’Manburg’s future?

Okay I’ve only made it to November 16th and there’s so much more DSMP to talk about but the post is getting too long and I’m starting to lose my energy. Will I ever make a part two? No idea. But I’ll try.

Standard disclaimer: I’m not the spokesperson of anarchism, other anarchists might disagree with my reading

[thekidsfromyestergay]

Frank Iero lyrics that make me go insane:

"my love and hate for you are infinite"

"I gave up on giving up and lost myself a bit trying to become a ghost"

"I hate the sound of my voice when it shakes"

"I've felt this bad for so long I'm scared I'm fine"

"Tonight we burn down Hollywood. Tonight's our shared last breath. They'll write about us in history books."

"I'm convinced the best of me is the worst of me"

"murdered fascists make no noise"

"Every time we condone another version of hate, we get farther from god"

"these scars are my own, and I earned every one."

"I know I'm not easy to deal with sometimes"

"leave me to my work. I am not like all the others"

"You're still a part of me, the only part I enjoy"

"this world is broke. Aren't I?"

"You can tell me most anything. I promise I won't understand."

"your weaknesses, they vacation in my dreams"

"I won't hesitate to make all the big mistakes, 'cause I get so excited when my sky falls down"

"I want you to know what I can't show the outside"

"I lost my faith in faith"

"I wrap around every thorn and every flower placed on the grave of your past mistakes."

"No one's ever been like me before, I'm sure of it"

"I hate my weaknesses, they made me who I am"

"This world we made will infect your soul and destroy everything that's good if you fucking let it"

"burn bright like a star, traitor"

"I'll cross the distance you aim to create framed as a last goodbye."

"My dreams came true and it’s all your fault."

"I hate the hate, but my hate is all I have"

"I've seen rock bottom, and it was love at very first sight"

"those stars don't reach back. They're better left alone"

"Sometimes the place you're trying to escape is the only place you fucking belong."

"Your silence makes it harder to breathe"

"I'm looking for a sign I did it right"

"when I leave, attach a piece of you to my ghost"

"the truth is I'm just fucking existing"

"Would you waste some time on me? Am I a waste of time?"

"I just need to know if I've really survived"

"I am just a mess, and I don't wanna change"

"I've been waiting so long for you to meet me. Please don't turn back now."

"our roots are grounded in blood lust"

"I never wanted a curse on my tongue 'til you."

"I wear a cross but I believe in nothing, except for you and me, but does that count?"

"I might be a drag no-one wants to inhale"

"I'm wondering is it me, is it me, that made you feel so sad?"

"It takes a mess to love a wreck"

"There was a time I let hatred define me"

"I'm sorry darling, you deserve a better song. It hurts to say it, but I know we both fell out of love."

[wonderwomanfantasy]

I Hate you, lets get married

oh, you thought I was done with this? I am not part one   part two

Atsumu x Reader

warnings: smut, drinking, dirty talk, mommy kink, 

words: 2,000 (ish)

summary: you run into your ex and as awful and embarrassing as that is the next morning might just be worse. 

You fucking hated running into people you knew at the grocery store. Like all you wanted to do was get your shit and get out but then you’d always see someone you knew then you felt obligated to talk to them, you would have hoped that the people in your life would know better than to talk to you at this point but apparently not. This was a little different though, it was much much worse. 

“(y/n)?” Atsumu fucking Myia of all people called stopping you in the middle of the wine aisle. You tensed and turned to face him. You could run, but he would probably just chase after you. 

“Hey,” you said giving him the once over. He was even bigger than when you’d been to college with him, his hair was lighter too, not as brassy as you remembered. “What are you doing here?” he laughed at your bluntness and held up a bottle of whiskey he was holding. 

“The same thing as you it seems,” he gestured to the basket in your arms full of cheese crackers and a bottle of wine. “Getting adult shitfaced,” you rolled your eyes

“God hasn’t been a celebrity made you any less vulgar?” you asked. 

“They tried, didn’t work out for them,” he said with a wink. He took a step closer smirking at you, “does that mean you’ve been keeping up with my career? I could sign something for ya if you want,” he teased. You scoffed and denied his offer not answering his question. You didn’t want to mention you’d gotten really into volleyball after dating him. 

“How was the wedding by the way? Sorry again I couldn’t make it,” he said, as if he’d even been invited to the wedding and didn’t just see the engagement announcement online. You ran your thumb over your bare ring finger, it was still a little weird being without it. 

“You didn’t miss much, we called it quits before getting married,” you said, Atsumu looked like he’d stepped on your foot. 

“Oh god, I’m sorry,” he said awkwardly. Glancing down at your hand seeing for himself the empty space on your hand where a ring should be. “What happened if you don’t mind me asking,”

You did mind actually. “He was too ambitious for me, I wasn’t good enough to give up on his dreams,” you sighed. That wasn’t really it. You were a scared asshole, scared of failur,e and too comfortable in the life you already had. You hadn’t even wanted to get married, that’s what you said when he proposed to you “what’s wrong with where we are?” not quite the enthusiast yes he was hoping for. That should have been a warning for both of you. 

“I get it,” he said nodding, the two of you had split for similar reasons. “You know if you want someone to share that wine with I’m not doing anything tonight, we could catch up,” he offered. You smiled, it might actually be nice to catch up with Atsumu. So you accepted. 

Atsumu smiled at you drunkenly, you could tell the whiskey was getting to him.  “I missed you,” he whispered. You laughed and rolled your eyes. “I did!”  he defended sitting up sharply “especially after we broke up, I missed you so so much I thought I’d never meet someone as pretty and smart as you,” he said flopping back down in your lap looking up at you with soft doe eyes. If you were sober you’d get mad at him, but you just laughed and affectionately smoothed down his cheek. 

“And you know what?” he asked smooshing his cheek into your hand. 

“What?” you hummed. 

“I never did, I’m convinced you’re the most perfect person in the world,” he sighed holding your hand inhis kissing your palm lightly. You couldn’t help but heat up at his words, when on earth did he get so sweet?

“I meant it when I said I loved you, back then I mean,” he murmured against your hand

“I know,” Atsumu talked a lot, and if you caught him when he was feeling antsy he’d say stuff he didn’t mean. But he didn’t lie, not about things like that. 

“I loved you to,” you admitted shyly. 

“You have no idea how happy I was to see you today, I thought about you so much, I thought ‘no way they’re still as hot as they were in college,’ but damn you’re somehow even hotter like you’re just one kid away from being a MILF,”

“ATSUMU!” you snapped jerking your hand away making him bark out laughing. 

“I’m just saying!” he defended. He sat up so you couldn’t hit him and reached for his glass taking another sip of his whiskey. 

“Well maybe I don’t want to be anyone’s mommy did you ever think of that?” you spat. he choked. He didn’t just choke, He damn near flew off the couch with how hard he jumped. You watched stunned as he spluttered and turned bright red. Atsumu normally never showed his belly like this. 

“S-Sorry,” he wheezed, “went down the wrong way,” you smiled at him wickedly,

“Really? Because to me, it seems like mommy had a bit of an effect on you,” you purred watching him squirm. 

“No, I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he whispered, you glanced down at his crotch and he quickly crossed his legs

“Awe baby you know it’s bad to lie to your mommy,”

“Will you quit calling yourself that stupid nickname?

“Or what?”

“Or- Or-”

“Come on be a big boy use your words,”

“(y/n) please,”

“Uh hu, I’m mommy right now,” he was quiet and looking down at your floor, but you didn’t break you waited patiently for him to cave. 

“Please don’t tease me, mommy,” he said finally looking up at you. A thrill ran through your body, it was a rush hearing him whine like that for you. 

“There we go,” you praised moving closer and stroking his soft hair. “Why don’t you tell Mommy what you want,” you said. He leaned up into your touch needily, looking at you desperately 

“Anything I want?” he asked. Heat pooled in your stomach, you’d knew it would go like this from the second you let him into your house, but you were excited non the less

“Sure baby,”

“I want your chest,” he said reaching out to undo the buttons on your shirt. You knocked his hand away, you’d strip yourself thank you very much.

“You want to breastfeed baby?” you asked, slowly taking off your button-down, he didn’t answer, but the blush on his face told you everything you needed you hear. He didn’t reach out for you again, even when you were half-naked he was almost drooling but he was waiting patiently for you to give him permission. 

“Go on baby, nurse,” you cooed. He settled back into your lap latching his lips hungrily around your nipple sucking surprisingly gingerly. His large hands wrapped around your breasts squeezing rhythmically. You bit your lower lip trying not to moan. 

“Is that good baby?” you asked. 

“So good mommy,” he moaned switching to the other nipple, leaving your wet bud out in the cold air. You ran your hand through his hair scratching his scalp. 

“Do you want Mommy to touch you too?” you asked. He moaned at the idea and adjusted so you could reach the fly of his pants. You reach down and pulled out his cock stroking his length while he sucked on your tits. 

“M-Mommy,” he moaned bucking his hips up into your hand. “Please let me fuck you, please I need it.”

“You’re such a drama queen what are you going to die if I don’t let you fuck me?”  You teased, laying back on the couch letting him climb on top of you. You wrapped your fingers through his hair pulling him down into a messy kiss.

“P-please,” he sighed against your lips. You saw why he’d gotten a kick out of being in charge in college, it was a rush to have him begging for you like this.

“Then fuck me Tsumu,” you whispered. He was messy, drunk. Almost couldn’t get you out of your pants, but he didn’t disappoint. He fucked you hard into the back of the crouch so hard it forced you to wrap your legs around his hips. 

“It feels so fucking good mommy,” he moaned before diving into another sloppy kiss his tongue slipping in and out of your mouth 

“I’m going to cum,” he panted, although you didn’t need him to tell you that. You could feel in the way he throbbed inside of you, the way his thighs trembled, it was all so very familiar. You wound your hands through his hair and pulled. Hard. 

“No the fuck you’re not, you’re going to get mommy off then if you’re good I’ll let you cum is that clear?” you spat, his eyes went wide, then his cheeks filled with color. 

“Y-yes mommy,” he moaned obediently fucking into you edging himself so he could get you off. 

“I’m close,” you said He sighed in relief, Atsumu wasn’t sure he could hold out any longer you were so tight and warm around him it was making his head go numb. The second he felt your orgasm hit he couldn’t hold back anymore.

“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered kissing you as you both came down from your highs. You smiled to yourself and nuzzled into his neck, you’d really needed that. “Let's get married,” he purred, running the moment. 

“What?” you shouted shoving his chest. 

“Come on (y/n) what’s your biggest problem?”

“I think I’m too good to work on my own problems?”

“Jesus don’t get dark on me, you get into your own head too much, so just do something impulsive for once and marry me,” 

Maybe it was the alcohol, or maybe you were just tired of being alone. He looked so pretty, you’d missed him a lot more than you’d realized. “Okay,” you breathed. “Let’s get married,” you said.

“Right now, I know a guy who can do it,” he said quickly getting to his feet and shoving his clothes back on. You laughed and followed him, trying to look presentable for your wedding. 

“Let’s get married!” you cheered. 

You woke up with a splitting headache. This was easily the worst hangover of your life, you hadn’t gotten that trashed in years you who hissed and turned over burring your face in the pillow. There was a groan from the other end of the bed and you remembered Atsumu had ended up staying the night. You froze, your pain momentarily forgotten, and looked down at your hand, where there was a cheap fake gold ring attached to your finger. Fuck.