#i used to pretend i feared feeling good because i knew it just meant i would eventually feel not good again. but that ruins the mood huh)

[bucky-bucky-bucky-bucky]

Are There Still Beautiful Things? | Bucky Barnes x Reader

Hello! This is a part two! I finally got around to writing a sequel to The Ultimatum! So do me a favor and read that one first. Thanks!

Word count: 16.7k

Trigger warnings: emotional abuse, manipulative boyfriend, anxiety / depression

The following morning, Bucky floated through the apartment with silent steps. He moved with the utmost caution, sidestepping the creaky floorboard in the hall. Closing the kitchen cabinets as gently as possible. Anything to avoid waking you. After the night you’d had- the fight, the long walk in freezing rain, the tears, the panic attacks- you needed all the sleep you could get. Knowing you, he figured you’d rise around ten. You always said that anything later was a waste of the day. 

But morning came and went without an appearance from you. He listened at his bedroom door for any sign of life and found only silence. He leaned against the kitchen counter, eating the omelet he’d intended for you. It wasn’t going to be good cold, anyway. 

He wondered what your year under Alex’s thumb had been like. Suffocating, he decided. Claustrophobic. Were you ever happy? In the last year, did you experience even one instance of genuine joy? Or were you miserable around the clock? Were you constantly aching, without anyone to turn to?

Bucky folded the blankets he’d used to turn the couch into a makeshift bed. When he offered you- implored you- to take his bed, he knew you’d refuse. He knew that you’d feel guilty, that you’d say it was too kind a gesture. But it wasn’t a gesture at all. He really wanted you to take it. You’d sleep better in his bed than on the couch. And he wanted you to feel comfortable. To feel safe. 

He even changed the sheets, so you’d have a fresh set to curl up in. 

But you still refused. How could you accept an offer like that? Bucky had already done enough for you for one night; and you didn’t deserve any of it. You told him, time and time again, that the couch was just fine. That you’d survive sleeping in the living room. That he didn’t have to give up his bed for you- but he did it, anyway. 

Around 3am, you couldn’t refuse anymore. You waved a white flag; there was no fight left. On your shoulders rested the weight of Alex’s emotional abuse. And for the last year, you did your best to pretend it didn’t exist. To carry on. You put on a brave face and muscle through it, because complaining would only mean more pain. More punishment. More weight. But as you leaned against the door of Bucky’s bedroom, you couldn’t fight the heft anymore. It split your spine and crushed your lungs. Finally, it broke you.

You were too tired to argue with Bucky about who should sleep where. Too tired to put yourself back together. But Bucky was there to pick up the pieces. 

He carried you to his bed and secured the blankets around you. And for a while, no one spoke. He simply sat on the edge of the bed, holding your hand. His thumb stroked your knuckles every once and a while. His free hands adjusted your blankets where he deemed necessary. It was the most peace- the most care- you’d experienced since the last time you saw him. 

After a while, he figured he should leave you alone; he didn’t want to keep you awake any longer. And so, he pressed a kiss to your forehead, gave your hand a squeeze, and headed for the door. He told you to get some rest. To wake him if you needed anything- and he meant anything. And then he was gone.

You didn’t have it in you to call after him and beg him to stay with you. He’d done enough. So, you toughed it out. Alone. 

Everything in you just wanted to slip into unconsciousness, to sleep for eight or twenty hours. And you should’ve. You should’ve fallen asleep no problem. After everything that happened that evening- everything that happened over the last year- you were empty. Drained. And your body and mind needed rest. 

But sleep didn’t come. 

With each closing of your eyes, you were haunted by fears of Alex’s wrath. Of his consequences and punishments. Of the venom in his voice when he spoke to Bucky about you. Of returning home to him. 

The waking nightmare rooted itself in your mind- or maybe it was always there. Surely, you’d had these uneasy feelings about him before. But this was the first time you really let them sink in. The first time you’d given them any attention. 

Over the past year, you’d simply swatted these kinds of thoughts away, treating them like a bothersome gnat. But deep down, you knew they weren’t there to bother you- they were there as a warning. 

With sleep out of the question, you opted to stare at the ceiling. In the scant light that weaved through the blinds, you took stock of its appearance. It was old. Textured. Yellowed in places from water damage. Cracks veined their way across the expanse of the room, starting in one corner and ending in another. Part of you wondered how stable it was. Wondered if it the whole thing might fall in the middle of the night and crush you. You’d be okay with it if it did.

When staring at the ceiling grew boring, you turned on your side and observed the wall instead. It had scuff marks and indents. Chipping paint. But it was Bucky’s wall. And you were just lucky to be here- in his bed, staring at his bedroom wall. A long scrape across the paint rescued a long-banished memory from your most secretive vault. A vault Alex could never know about. 

It was the day that Bucky tried to put in new blinds. He’d fallen from his rickety step ladder and braced himself against the nearest wall, marring the already chipping paint with his vibranium elbow. The two of you laughed at his clumsy attempt, at his claims to be a “handyman”. 

The scene played out inside your mind and managed to bring a weak smile to the surface. But it wasn’t strong enough to keep the dread at bay.

After a while, the wall no longer held your attention. And the ceiling called your name once again.

On and on the staring-cycle went: ceiling, wall, ceiling wall. Of course, you could’ve gone to see Bucky in the living room. Or even called his name; surely, he would’ve come running. But who were you to wake him? Who were you to bother him in the middle of the night? He struggled enough with sleep as it was, and you’d kept him up late. Very late. He didn’t need you further hurting his chances for a restful night. 

Eventually, the sun peeked through the blinds, and you rolled onto your back for your ceiling-staring shift. Throughout the night, you lamented your insomnia. Cursed the buzzing anxiety that kept you awake. But as you laid there, tracing the border of the room with your eyes, a change in perspective struck you. And suddenly, the crushing weight of exhaustion didn’t bother you anymore. Because you were in Bucky’s apartment, in Bucky’s bed. This was the one place you never thought you’d see again. The one place that Alex strictly forbade. The one place that felt like home.

And though you were so tired that you swore your organs would soon fail, you didn’t care. You’d choose a lifetime of sleepless nights in this bed over a restful eight hours in Alex’s any day.

Around noon, the sharp squeak of an old hinge woke you- and you realized that you must’ve actually fallen asleep. That your body must’ve finally given out. After blinking a few times and giving your eyes a moment to adjust, you discovered the source of the sound.

There stood Bucky, still as stone, watching you. 

“Hey… sorry about the-” he pointed to the door. “The hinges are kinda old.”

“No, it’s…” you let loose a long yawn. “It’s okay.”

Bucky took a few tentative steps in your direction, as though testing the waters. Over the past year, you’d been emotionally gutted. The wounds Alex inflicted were still flayed open, bleeding. Throbbing. Bucky could practically see them spilling crimson all over the bed. Maybe you wanted him close by. Or maybe you wanted your space. 

Either way, he still wanted to check on you. He took another slow step toward you. 

“I didn’t mean to wake you. I just wanted to see how you’re doing, see if you need anything,” he said.

Of course, he did. Because that’s who Bucky was- that’s who he always was. Kind and caring and thoughtful. Even when you overstepped your bounds. Even when you overstayed your welcome. Even after you pulled the plug on your friendship. He was there for you. 

You couldn’t fight the smile that stretched across your lips. “Oh, thanks- thank you. Yeah, I’m alright, I don’t need anything,” you shrugged. “You’ve done enough. What time is it?”

Bucky checked his phone, “noon.”

“Jesus Christ,” you ran a hand down the side of your face. Two hours. You’d gotten only two hours of sleep. And as you took a quick inventory of your body, you realized your estimate was probably a little generous. A dull ache pounded inside your skull. A heaviness sat on your shoulders. And a dense fog coated your mind. Every fiber of your being needed more rest. But now was not the time.

You’d already ruined Bucky’s Saturday night and stolen his bed, now you’d eaten up half of his Sunday. A jolt of alarm force you into an upright position. The room spun a little as a result.

“Shit. Sorry, I didn’t mean to sleep so late,” you pushed Bucky’s bedspread from your body. “I didn’t actually fall asleep till about ten this morning, so I guess I was just-”

Bucky couldn’t stop the ache that pierced his chest. He knew all too well what it was like to spend the night tossing and turning. The need for sleep and the simultaneous fear of the nightmares that followed. The soul crushing exhaustion. He wished he would’ve known that you were struggling to sleep. And he kicked himself for not checking on you periodically throughout the night. 

“Oh, sweetheart, I wish you would’ve come and got me,” he sighed. “I could’ve kept you company. We could’ve watched movies or talked or-”

It was sweet. It really was. But even the thought of waking him made you feel guilty. 

“Nah, I didn’t wanna bother you. And I…” Your eyes took on a far away, hollow quality. “I had a lot to think about.”

A long silence followed. 

A hurricane of emotions tore through you, drowning you in their downpour. The pain, the loneliness, the devastation, the anger, the self-hatred, the feeling of worthlessness. The last year showed you just how toxic, how isolating a relationship could be. And you grieved the life you could’ve had. The time you’d never get back. The people-the person- you lost.

But a sharp pain sunk its fangs into your soul, filling you with venomous questions. How dare you mourn? How dare you pity yourself? How could you let Alex manipulate you? How could you go along with his ultimatum? And how could you abandon Bucky? Did you ever care about Bucky at all? What kind of person puts their boyfriend before their best friend? Why did you show up at Bucky’s door? And why did you let him take care of you? Are you really that selfish?

 Who do you think you are?

You gave your head a small shake, freeing yourself from the sharp, deadly thoughts. “Anyway, I’m gonna grab my clothes and get out of your hair.” A quiet groan escaped your lips and you pulled yourself from Bucky’s bed. “I don’t wanna take up your entire Sunday.”

Bucky held a hand up, stopping you. “Woah, what? But you only slept two hours.”

“I’m okay! Really,” you lied. “And I don’t want to impose any more than I already have.”

Bucky gave you a pointed look. Oh, how you’d missed this look. It was the same look he used to give you every time you called yourself ‘an imposition.’ Every time you swore you’d worn out your welcome. Because he never, ever saw you that way. How anyone could see you as an imposition, as a bother, made no sense to him. But he knew of one person who thought of you like that. 

“Don’t look at me like that, Barnes,” you gave a breathy, tired laugh.

“I want you to stay for as long as you like. Honestly. I’m just happy to have you around,” he said. “So, if you wanna go back to sleep for a while, go for it. You’re more than welcome here.”

The words were too kind, the sentiment too genuine. And somewhere, deep down, something inside you broke. To know that there was, indeed, still kindness in the world shattered your remaining resolve. The entire time Alex had you locked away in his tower, you wondered if anyone else’s life had drained of all warmth and color, too. If there were still beautiful things. Or if it was only you who existed in a monochromatic hellscape.

And as Bucky wrapped an arm around you and helped you sit down on the bed, you got your answer. There were still beautiful things- and he was the most beautiful of all. 

The tears flowed freely over your newly destroyed emotional dam. And silent sobs robbed the oxygen from your chest. Hot tears dampened your cheeks, your neck, the collar of Bucky’s sweatshirt. Over the course of the year, you forbade yourself from crying like this. Every once and a while, you allowed a tear or two- but that was it. You knew that if you ever let these emotions free, forcing them back inside their cage would be impossible. But this was a true catharsis. True release. And Bucky helped you through the whole thing.

He rubbed your back, wiped your face, stroked your hair. He spoke soft, reassuring words. And he never tried to stop you. Not once did he tell you to calm down or to get yourself together. He simply let you feel what you needed to feel, what you prohibited yourself from feeling for the last twelve months. 

And when you finally cried yourself out, he wrapped your limp body in a blanket and helped you lay down. 

“Uh, I feel like you’re probably pretty dehydrated now,” he said as he got you situated. “So, I’m gonna go get you some water.” 

It pulled the smallest, most fragile laugh from you. He was right. You’d depleted your body completely, and you could already feel the dehydration headache blossoming between your eyes. But you didn’t care. Bucky took a step toward the door, only to feel your limp hand hook into his. He knew you well enough to know what it meant: you didn’t want him to leave. And he returned the feeling. Now that you finally found your way back into his life, he didn’t want to spend a second away from you. But the top priority was your well-being. 

“I’m gonna be right back, I promise,” Bucky knelt by the bed, meeting your eyeline. “It’ll only take a second.” He pressed a kiss to the back of your hand, to your cheek, to your forehead, and then slipped out of the room. 

He was gone only a few minutes- five at the most. But for you, it was too long. After spending a year without so much as speaking to Bucky, you were desperate to make up for lost time. Hungry to spend every moment with him. And even a five-minute absence was enough to make your heart ache.

“Okay, okay. I’m back. Sorry,” Bucky swept through the bedroom door, an apologetic look on his face. “I figured you should probably eat something.” He offered you a plate of toast and placed two bottles of water on the nightstand. “Toast was the quickest option, but if you want something else, I can just-”

But the way you dove into the food was all the answer he needed. He sat on the edge of the bed, 

watching you wolf down the substitute breakfast, and wished he could’ve remade the omelet he prepared for you hours earlier. But you needed him. And he didn’t want you to wait. 

It hadn’t even occurred to you that you were hungry. You’d swallowed so much grief, so much pain- you didn’t notice your empty stomach. But Alex made you miss dinner. Your exhaustion made you skip breakfast. And your meager lunch from the previous day disintegrated long ago. 

But the smell of the toast brought your hunger into crisp focus. It gnawed on the inside of your abdomen and clawed up your throat. It echoed through the void. Sharp pains needled at your insides between waves of nausea. But the peanut butter toast quelled your discomfort. 

“Thank you,” you took a long swig of water. “I needed that.” 

“Anytime.”

“So, you… you don’t mind if I try to go back to sleep for a while?” Trepidation rendered your voice almost imperceptible. Had bucky not received the serum all those years ago, he wouldn’t have heard you at all. 

He encircled your hand with one of his, “I don’t mind at all.”

“Are you sure?” you said, louder this time. “Cause if you have plans or things you need to do, I totally get it. I can just-”

Bucky pulled your body into his, quieting your rambling. “This is all I’m doing today.” He held you there for a long moment. His hand smoothed up and down your back. His breath fanned the skin on your neck. And when your anxious heartrate returned to its normal pace, he released you.

“What plans do you think I had for today, sweetheart? Do you know who you’re talking to here?” Bucky laughed. “I’m not exactly Mr. Social Life.”

“I don’t know,” you shrugged. “Maybe you were gonna to go a movie today. Or the farmer’s market, or something.”

“Nope. I don’t have any plans to speak of,” he said as he helped you get comfortable in his bed once again. “And I went to the farmer’s market last Sunday. So, I don’t need to go again.” He shot you a wink and brushed a kiss against your cheek. “You go back to sleep. I’ll be right outside if you need me. Okay?”

You nodded against the pillow that smelled like him and gave his hand one last squeeze. Everything in you screamed, begged, howled for him to stay. But you couldn’t ask. You couldn’t ask for another favor after all he’d done for you. Could you? No. It wasn’t right. He didn’t owe you shit. Everything he did to help you came simply from the endless well of goodness within him. And you were not about to ask for more. You couldn’t. 

But you did. 

“Buck?” 

He stopped in his tracks just as he reached the door. “Yeah?”

“Would you…” you rolled your eyes at yourself. Your neediness. Your greed. “Would you stay with me for a while?”

And just like that, he crawled into bed. No hesitation. No question. 

He sat next to you, his back resting against the headboard. “This alright?”

You nodded up at him. “Is it okay if I…” You lifted your head from his pillow and opted to rest it in his lap instead. And of course, he nodded in return.

Before things fell apart, before Alex’s ultimatum- this was a standard position for the two of you. When Bucky had a nightmare, or a panic attack, or a particularly bad flashback, he’d rest his head in your lap. When things got bad for him, it was the only way to remind him that he was real. That he was here. And that he wasn’t alone. Your fingers tangled gently in his hair. Your voice quietly called him away from the edge. And after a while, he’d return to himself. 

It felt almost blasphemous to co-opt his practice. To rest your head in his lap this way- especially after the way you abandoned him. There were, without a doubt, many instances over the last year when he’d needed this, when he’d needed you. And you weren’t there. Just thinking about it sent a lightning strike through your chest. What did he do in those moments? How had his soul broken through the haze and rejoined his body? Did he sit in this very apartment, all alone, waiting for the pain and terror to ebb on their own?

These thoughts tried to pull your head from Bucky’s lap. This wasn’t right, it wasn’t fair; not to you, not to him. You couldn’t commit sacrilege in this way. Couldn’t desecrate something that was once so sacred. But just as you attempted to move away, Bucky’s gentle hand rested on your shoulder.

“You okay? Comfortable?” He smiled down at you, awaiting your response. And you couldn’t find it in you to pull away from someone so beautiful and warm and kind. 

The rest of Sunday melted by without your participation. A dreamless sleep got its hooks in you and pulled you deeper, deeper, deeper. Bucky noticed you wake only a handful of times. And though he was sure you had to be hungry again when you woke in the evening, he didn’t push the issue. He let you sleep peacefully in his lap, with his hand smoothing gently over your hair. And when it was time for him to finally get some shut eye, he repositioned your head on his chest. 

That night, he slept better than he had in a year. 

In the morning, you woke to a cold, empty bed. And just as you wondered where Bucky could’ve gone, the smell of bacon answered your question. The aggressive hunger pangs poking at your stomach grew sharper as you took a deep inhale. Bacon, eggs, toast, coffee. Coffee.  You scrambled out of bed and found Bucky in the kitchen, leaning over the stove. 

“Morning!” He dragged his gaze away from the food to steal a look at you. Messy morning hair. Tired smile. Beautiful. “I didn’t wake you, did I?”

But his words didn’t register right away. Your mind was too fixated on the stove full of food. And it dawned on you: this was the first time you’d ever seen him cook. Sure enough, a cutting board with the remnants of chopped tomatoes, green onions, and bell pepper sat next to the stove. And he was expertly presiding over bacon and two perfectly constructed omelets. 

“Um, what? Oh, no, you didn’t wake me,” you said. “Buck, you’re… cooking? You have groceries?”

He nodded. “I cook now,” he said with pride. “And yeah, I have groceries. I go shopping now, too.”

It was something so small, so normal to everyone else. But to Bucky- to you- it was a big deal. A huge deal. You crossed to the fridge and gave the door a pull, only to find it fully stocked. The back of your throat tightened a bit, a warm rush of tears blurred your vision. 

He’d always needed help with that kind of thing, with taking care of himself. When he was still trying to get acclimated to this world, to this time- he found himself in a hole. He’d fallen deep, deep down into a pit of depression and anxiety and existential dread. And menial tasks like grocery shopping were too daunting. Too overwhelming. So, you picked up the slack. You brought him groceries at least once a week, sometimes twice. You cooked for him a few days out of the week. And you did it with a smile. It wasn’t a hassle or a bother. It was something you did because you cared. Because you loved him. And if he needed help, you’d be the first to volunteer for the cause. 

He always swore he could handle it, swore that you didn’t need to stock his pantry. But without you, he would’ve gone hungry. Would’ve withered away to nothing. 

Over the course of the last year, you wondered how Bucky was getting his groceries. How he was getting his meals. If he was eating enough. Was he surviving on takeout? Or was he hungry? Picturing him alone in the apartment, his stomach and fridge empty, brought you to tears on more than one occasion. 

“This is…” You cleared your throat and forbade your voice from shaking. “This is great, Buck. I was worried that you’d been living off take out this whole time.”

“Well, I would’ve been,” he laughed. “But I didn’t have to. Remember that list you made me?” 

You wiped your eyes on the sleeve of Bucky’s sweatshirt and shut the fridge door. “What list?”

“A few weeks before Alex gave you his ultimatum, he got on you for being over here so much.” Bucky rolled his eyes at the memory. “Do you remember that?”

You grimaced and eventually nodded. 

“And you told me what he said. You told me you might not get to spend as much time here. And you wanted me to be prepared. So you made me a list- a grocery list- just in case.” He turned to face you and pointed at a drawer next to the fridge, “look in there.”

Sure enough, inside the drawer, you found a list. It was pristine, save for one slightly folded corner and a small water stain. Scrawled in your handwriting on a piece of notebook paper was everything Bucky would need from the store. It detailed everything- produce, dry goods, frozen ingredients. Everything you always used to buy for him. Everything he liked. 

“I still use it every time I go to shopping,” he said. “Even though I have it memorized by now.”

The list trembled like a leaf in your shaking hands. Maybe you hadn’t left Bucky completely destitute. Just knowing he’d had this life preserver to hold onto, knowing he’d been able to get himself groceries- to feed himself- because of you made your chest tighten. 

“In all honesty, I had kind of a hard time over the last year,” Bucky admitted. He spoke with his back to you, keeping his focus on the food. He didn’t want to look you in the eye. “I missed you. I hated not having you around. But that list was… I don’t know. It made me feel like even though we weren’t friends anymore, you still cared. You know?”

Words didn’t come. And even if they did, you wouldn’t have been able to speak. The sobs you tried so hard to corral sat trapped in your throat, struggling to break free. You tucked the list carefully back in the drawer and leaned against the counter. Bucky deserved better. He’d already been through so much in his life. And yet, you’d given him yet another hard year. A year of heartache and loneliness. A year of emptiness. Of silent dinners. A year of self-soothing.

Bucky peeked over his shoulder and found you with your head in your hands. Your shoulders shook ever so slightly. A riptide of guilt instantly pulled him under.

“Oh, sweetheart, no-” he made his way to your side and wrapped you in a hug. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you feel bad.”

Your arms snaked up his chest and wrapped around his neck, pulling you closer to him. He had nothing to apologize for, nothing to feel guilty about. He’d simply told the truth: he had a hard year. And that was nothing to apologize for. Especially after what you’d done to him.

But there he was, apologizing. Consoling you when you didn’t deserve it. 

“You deserved better, Buck,” you whispered against his neck. “You deserved better from me.”

Urgently, you recoiled from his embrace and met his eyes. “I’m so sorry. I never ever wanted to hurt you. It wasn’t fair to you. I-”

“Hey,” he took your face in his hands. “It’s all water under the bridge. Okay?”

He slipped his hand into yours before you could protest and pulled you toward the stove. “Come on, breakfast is ready.”

The two of you got comfortable on the couch with your plates; Bucky watched as you devoured your breakfast of bacon, toast, and the beautiful omelet he crafted. And he couldn’t fight the smile that pulled at his lips. This was a total role reversal for the two of you. For once, he got to take care of you. He got to be your rock, your support system. He got to cook for you, feed you. And he meant what he said earlier. Everything that happened prior really was water under the bridge. He just wanted to be there for you. To make you feel comfortable and safe and cared for. To show you the love you deserved. 

“Oh, hey, I don’t know if you need this,” Bucky grabbed your phone off the arm of the couch and placed it next to you. “It’s been sitting out here since Saturday night.”

After a few taps to the black screen, you got the confirmation you needed. “It’s dead,” you said. 

“Okay, I have a charger in the kitchen. I can-”

“No, that’s okay. It’s probably for the best,” you shrugged. “I just know I’m gonna have like, four hundred texts and ninety mean voicemails from Alex.

Bucky grimaced. “Oh. Well, if you change your mind-”

“It’s probably a sign, right? Like, if I’m dreading turning on my phone because I don’t even want to see his messages…” You took a swig of your coffee, wishing it was something stronger. “It probably means that I shouldn’t be with him anymore. Right?”

Bucky wasn’t sure what to say. You were absolutely right; it was a sign. A sign that you needed to evacuate your relationship. But he didn’t want to weigh in and push you to make a decision. This needed to be something you decided on your own. And so, he simply listened and let you work it out yourself. 

“I mean, just thinking about going back to the apartment makes me-” you gave strong shudder. “I don’t want to go back. I don’t want to live there.” The words came lightning fast, falling from your mouth before you could process or edit them. “I don’t want to go back. I don’t want to live with him- I don’t want to be around him. I don’t want to be with him. I don’t- I don’t want any of it.”

Bucky clocked the slight shaking in your hands, the tremor in your voice. He moved closer and enveloped you in his arms. “Okay, it’s okay. You don’t have to. You don’t have to do anything you don’t wanna do. Alright?” He pulled away only slightly, searching for your eyeline. “You don’t have to be with him. If you’re done, then you’re done. And that’s that. Alright?”

The weight of the world suddenly vanished from its longtime perch on your shoulders. The pressure sitting on your chest evaporated. And you breathed a deep sigh of relief. The logical side of you knew that you didn’t have to be with Alex anymore. That you could pull the rip cord and free yourself at any moment. But somehow, doing so felt impossible. This whole time, the relationship felt like a jail cell. Like you’d been trapped inside puzzle box from which you couldn’t escape. But the second Bucky said it out loud, the walls of your cell disintegrated. He solved the puzzle box and let you out.

“Yeah. Okay, yeah. Um…” The smile brought on by your newfound freedom lasted only a few seconds. “But I- I do have to go back. I have to go get my stuff. I mean, my clothes, my work stuff – it’s all there.”

“So I’ll go,” Bucky said. “I don’t mind. I’ll go over there right now and get everything.”

Of course, he would. Of course, he’d drop everything and go get your stuff. Whatever you wanted, whatever you needed- he’d do it. No questions asked.

“Buck, that’s really- that’s so sweet. You’re really sweet,” You leaned into him once again, basking in his warmth. “But I- I need to be there, you know? You don’t know where everything is. And I need to make sure nothing gets left behind.” Dread filled your chest and crept up the back of your throat. If you never saw the inside of that apartment again, it would be too soon. 

“That doesn’t mean I can’t go with you,” Bucky shrugged. “Let me help. It’s gonna be way too much stuff for you to carry alone, anyway.” His expression darkened a few shades, his tone grew gravely serious. “And I don’t want you there by yourself, just in case Alex is home. I don’t think you should be alone with him.”

It was a morbid thought, but you knew Bucky was right. And no part of you wanted to be alone in the apartment. Not when the ghosts of your heartache freely roamed the halls. And if Alex was there, or if he came home early, you thought it best to have a friend. A witness. 

After changing into your now dry clothes, you plugged your phone into Bucky’s charger and abandoned it on the couch. Surely, it was about to blow up with a barrage of texts and missed calls from Alex. And you weren’t going to be there when it did.

Together, you and Bucky boarded the subway and headed in the direction of the apartment you shared with Alex. Anxiety sparked in your chest and set you alight from the inside. A pit opened in your stomach. There was no getting around this; it was a necessary evil. But with Bucky by your side, it wasn’t so bad. The looming darkness parted each time you looked at him, each time he gave your hand a squeeze. He was going to get you through this if it was the last thing he ever did. 

But heartrate jumped once you disembarked the train. And it skyrocketed as you and Bucky turned onto your street. Only a few blocks away sat your nightmare, your personal hell.

As the apartment building came into focus, your feet turned to cinderblocks. 

“It’ Monday, so he’s definitely at work by now,” Bucky reassured you. “You don’t have to worry about seeing him. Okay?”

You nodded. But your feet didn’t move.

“It won’t take long. We’re gonna grab your stuff and get out as quickly as we can. And then you never have to come back.” 

He was right. This was the last time you’d ever have to return to this godforsaken place- and Alex wasn’t even home. The unpleasant memories hanging in the air couldn’t hurt you. And you were more than entitled to retrieve your things. Alex took a lot from you, and you weren’t going to let him take any more.

The doorman greeted you with a friendly smile and a familiar “welcome home” as he opened the door for you and Bucky and waved you inside. The gilded lobby never brought you much comfort. It didn’t have a homey feel, it wasn’t warm or inviting. To you, it always seemed a little obnoxious. A little full of itself. It was fancier than you ever cared to be. Alex thought it gave him status. Stature. An air of importance. The whole thing made you gag.

“Jesus, I forgot how swanky this place is,” Bucky laughed as the two of you got into the elevator. “You sure you don’t wanna live here anymore?” He let out a dramatic huff as your shoulder gently nudged against his chest. 

 “I’m more than sure.”

Sweat beaded on your palms as you approached the front door of the apartment. All you had to do was go inside, grab your stuff, and get out. It wasn’t a large task. It wasn’t even going to be that difficult. But your stomach turned at the thought of passing through that door. And just as you teetered on the edge of a spiral, Bucky piped up, saving you.

He stood in front of your door and leaned against the frame. “So, how are we getting in, exactly? You don’t have your keys, and-” But he stopped when he saw you crouching near an air vent. “What are you doing?”

“I’m retrieving my back up plan.” 

He watched as you loosened the screws holding the vent shut and reached your arm inside. 

“A couple months ago, Alex and I got into a big fight. I know, shocking,” you rolled your eyes. “I came out here to cool off and have a moment to myself, and he locked me out for… hours. So, after that, ” You removed your arm from the vent and brandished a key in Bucky’s direction. “I taped this on the inside of the vent, just in case. I never had to use it until now.”

Bucky gave you quiet round of applause, “Brilliant.” 

But it wasn’t brilliant. Because when you tried to slide the key into the lock, it refused to budge. You tried once, twice, three times. Nothing. 

“He had the locks changed…” you muttered.

“What? Already? There’s no way…” Bucky tried the key- just to be sure- and met the same end. 

The plan came crashing down around you. And your dream of never seeing Alex again shattered into tiny pieces. 

“I’m gonna have to…” You ran a hand down the side of your face. Your breaths grew sharp and shallow. Your heartbeat pounded in your ears. “I’m gonna have to text him. I’m gonna have to ask him to let me in. And he’s gonna have to be here. And he’s gonna-”

“Sweetheart,” Bucky took your face in his hands, calming the panic rising in your chest. “Did you forget that I’m a supersoldier?’

“No. Buck, You can’t-”

“And why not?”

“Because I don’t want you to get in trouble,” You pulled him away from the door, worried he could break it down at any moment. “Because of your pardon. I don’t want you to risk it.”

Bucky scoffed. “It’s my pardon, doll, so, I’ll decide who I risk it for.” 

He resumed his position in front of the door and wrapped his metal hand around the knob. With one last glance over his shoulder, he ensured the hallway was empty. And when he found the coast clear, he gave the handle a sharp twist and forced his weight against the door with his metal shoulder. The wood gave a loud groan, and the new lock gave out a sharp metallic whine. But it worked. 

“Alright, let’s get inside, someone will have heard that.” Bucky ushered you inside and gave a cursory look down the hall- but found no one.

A sharp shiver crept up your spine. Goosebumps rose over your skin. The air inside seemed colder, more sinister than you remembered. But the clock was ticking, and you wanted to spend the shortest possible amount of time here. With a deep breath, you righted your mind and forced yourself to focus. When all was said and done and you successfully escaped with your things, you could fall apart. But not yet. Not now. 

“Okay, I’m gonna go grab my work stuff first. Can you…” You took Bucky by the hand and lead him into the kitchen. Under the sink, you found a box of trash bags. You freed them from the cabinet and thrust them into Bucky’s hands. “Can you go into the bedroom and just start putting my clothes in these bags? My closet and dresser are on the far side of the room.”

Bucky nodded and headed off for his mission- only to stop in his tracks. He’d only been here once, and it was far too long ago for him to remember his way around. “Um, sweetheart?” he called. 

“Down the hall, fourth door on your left!”

“God, this place is huge…” he said. His voice echoed down the hall and found you in the kitchen.

And he was right. As far as apartments go, Alex’s was massive. High ceilings, several spare rooms, a gigantic kitchen- it wasn’t anything like the shoebox apartments you’d lived in over the years. Alex insisted that you move into his cavernous home, and you obliged. But this space never felt like home to you. It was more like a museum- cold, quiet. And you always got in trouble for touching things.

In the living room, you searched for your work laptop. It always sat on the end table next to your side of the couch, but you didn’t find it there. It was unlike you to leave it anywhere else, but still, you weren’t perfect. Maybe you left it in the study, or the bedroom. Maybe it was-

Just then, something caught your attention. Out of the corner of your eye, you spotted the shiny silver surface of your laptop. It lay haphazardly next the armchair, still half open. A pit formed in your stomach. And though you knew in that moment that this was Alex’s doing, what you found still knocked the wind from your chest.

Several keys were missing. The screen was cracked beyond repair. And pressing the power button brought no life. The charger sat next to your computer, having been severed right in the middle. Alex was never the destructive type- or so you thought. He never punched walls or broke things out of anger. No, he expressed his wrath through biting words that pierced your skin and made you bleed. This was a new low for him. 

Just as you’d begun to wrap your mind around the destruction, Bucky’s voice echoed from down the hall.

“Hey, doll. I think… um, you should come here.” The trepidation in his voice activated alarms inside your mind.

And though you did your best to steel yourself against what you might find in the bedroom, the reality was worse than you imagined. 

“I’m sorry, sweetheart.” Bucky draped an arm across your shoulders and pulled you into his side. “You don’t deserve this.”

Before you lay a sea of your belongings, scattered and strewn across the floor. Pages were torn from books and crumpled into balls. Large rips and tears frayed the fabric of your clothes. Feathers leaked from a hole in your pillow. Every single page of your journal had been shredded into the tiniest possible pieces. An overwhelming sense of grief punched you in the stomach. The small stuffed cat you’re your childhood had its head severed. The jewelry box your grandmother gave you in high school lay in pieces. It was all so disturbing, so demented. So purposefully and pointedly cruel.

You didn’t think it could possibly get any worse- until you decided to pop your head into the bathroom. All of your make up sat piled in the garbage. Broken bottles. Shattered compacts. Destroyed brushes. The rest of your beauty products- your skincare, your haircare, your perfume- rested on top of your make up. Every bottle had been opened and dumped out, creating a sticky, disgusting mess. There was no salvaging any of it, no saving even one item. And sprinkled on top of the entire muddied disaster was your anxiety medication- the medication you sought because of Alex’s reign of terror. He always mocked you for needing medicine, for struggling with your anxiety. Ironically, his torments made you up your dosage.

A sense of weakness crept up the back of your legs, and your knees began to buckle. If Bucky hadn’t reached you in time, you would’ve collapsed against the cold tile floor. But he saved you- again. He held you against his body as endless waves of pain washed over you. He told you time and time again that everything was replaceable, that these things were just things- and your safety was more important than any earthly possession. But his heart broke for you. These were still your belongings. They still mattered to you. And even though your life was more important, he recognized just how violating this was. How dehumanizing. 

A special kind of rage smoldered in his chest. Alex didn’t deserve you- he never did. And you didn’t deserve to be treated with such callousness. 

“We’re gonna get this taken care of. I promise,” Bucky whispered against your hair. “It’s all replaceable. And we can-”

A sudden bolt of concern hit you like a ton of bricks. You yanked your head from Bucky’s chest and met his eyes with your panic-blown pupils. And then you were gone. 

Bucky watched as you sprinted toward your nightstand, tripping over your destroyed belongings in the process. You knelt in front of your nightstand and pulled it from the wall, searching desperately for something- but Bucky wasn’t sure what. 

Relief flooded your face as you pulled a small manila envelope from behind your nightstand and held it to your chest. The two pieces of duct tape that had held it in place got stuck to your skin for just a moment, but you didn’t seem to care. Just to be sure, you opened the envelope and looked inside, breathing a deep sigh of relief upon learning that Alex didn’t touch whatever it was that you held so precious.

After that, the destruction didn’t seem to bother you as much.

The two of you stuffed all your belongings into trash bags, opting to go through them later at Bucky’s place. Surely, there was something to be saved. Something worth keeping. But determining that could take time, and you didn’t want to spend an extra second in this hellhole. 

Ripped clothes, broken shoes, and cracked picture frames- among other things- filled three large bags. And when you cleared the room, a sense of peace wrapped you in a hug. 

“Okay, what else?” Bucky asked expectantly. “Is there anything of yours in the kitchen, or the living room, or anything?”

You shook your head. “Nope, this is…” You eyed the trash bags. “This is it. This is all my stuff.”

Bucky cocked his head to the side and thought about the prized possessions from your old apartment. “Really? What about your stand mixer? Or your grandma’s quilt?”

Again, you shook your head. “All that kind of stuff is at my parents’ house. When I moved in here, Alex didn’t want me to bring any of my décor or my kitchen supplies- my stuff wasn’t fancy enough for him.”

Bucky rolled his eyes. Alex seemed to be the personification of a red flag. How someone could treat another human being so poorly baffled him. And how anyone could treat you this way was beyond his comprehension.

“Okay, well, at least we know that stuff is okay,” Bucky offered. 

And he was right. When Alex first told you he didn’t want your “tacky” décor and “outdated” kitchen appliances in his home, it hurt. It made you feel small, less than. And from that day on you always felt that you needed to prove yourself to him, to show him that you were, in fact, good enough. But being good enough for him meant never curling up with the quilt your grandmother made you. Never making cookies using your mom’s hand-me-down mixer. Never feeling a sense of home.

Bucky double-checked the ties of the last trash bag, ensuring they were nice and tight. “Hey, what was all that about?” Bucky pointed to the manila envelope tucked under your arm. “Or is it a secret?’

“Technically, it’s not a secret, I guess- well, it’s not a secret from you. But it was a secret from Alex.” You freed the envelope from under your arm, “It’s not juicy or scandalous or anything, but it’s important to me. And-”

The sound of footsteps in the kitchen halted your words. The hair on the back of your neck stood on end. A cold sweat appeared across the surface of your skin. And you feared the beautiful breakfast Bucky worked so hard to make you would make a reappearance.

“Hello? Hey, sweetheart…” Bucky waved a hand in front of your face. He’d been trying to get your attention for a few moments now to no avail. You were still as stone, completely frozen with fear. He placed his hands on your shoulders and gave you a soft shake. “Doll.”

“Buck…” Only your eyes moved. Finally, you met his gaze with your massive, terror-dilated pupils. “He’s here. I can’t- I can’t do this. I’m not-”

“Hey, hey- it’s okay.” His palms rested on your cheeks, “You’re fine. You’re okay. You don’t have to talk to him – you don’t even have to make eye contact with the guy, okay?” He waited, allowing your panic-struck brain to process his words. And finally, you granted him a small nod.

He swept his thumbs over your cheeks one final time before pulling his hands from your face. He lifted a garbage bag from the floor and handed it to you. 

“Here, you take this. And I’ll-” He picked up the other bags and tucked one under each arm, “I’ll take these. And we’re out of here. Okay? We’re just gonna walk right out.”

With another nod, you agreed to his plan.

But walking past Alex without speaking, without making eye contact seemed easier said than done. After being with him for so long, you knew he wasn’t going to just let you breeze past him. He wasn’t going to let you go without a fight- not because he loved you, but because his pride wouldn’t allow it. 

The anxiety made your head swim and left you weak in the knees. Your vision blurred; your chest tightened. You knew Alex was waiting for you, smug and impatient. You knew he was going to tear into you the second he laid eyes on you. But there was only one way out of the apartment. And if you could just make it out the door, you’d be free. And so, with Bucky gently encouraging you, the two of you headed for the exit. 

Bucky went first, hoping to take the brunt of the verbal assault. Putting himself between you and Alex and providing you with a shield seemed like the best possible plan to Bucky. He wasn’t going to allow you to go first, not when Alex could so easily lunge at you or throw something in your direction. And after witnessing Alex’s destruction of your personal belongings, Bucky knew there was a chance that Alex would try something. That he might be violent. 

Finally, the two of you made it to the kitchen. Bucky locked eyes with Alex first, eliciting a loud guffaw from your soon-to-be-ex’s lips. 

“Wow. How’d I know you’d be with him?” Alex let out a sharp laugh as you entered the kitchen. “How’d I know?” 

But you didn’t answer. You kept your eyes down, just as Bucky instructed, and allowed the sound of your best friend’s quiet reassurances guide you forward. Shuffling through the kitchen with a garbage bag full of your broken belongings, avoiding your tormentor’s eye contact- it all felt so pathetic. You’d never felt so low, so small.

“You look so surprised to see me, baby!” Alex teased. Your skin crawled. “Guess you didn’t realize that the neighbors like me better than you. And that they’d call me when the saw you break the lock.”

You refused to take the bait. Refused to let him get a reaction out of you. All he wanted was the satisfaction of upsetting you. The gratification of hurting you and twisting he knife. And you weren’t going to give it to him.

“And where do you think you’re going?” Alex took only one step in your direction, but it was enough to stop you in your tracks. “You’re not gonna- Hey! You look at me when I’m talking to you!” He dropped his teasing, taunting tone and adopted the sharp, volatile way of speaking he often used around you. 

Instantly, your gaze snapped in Alex’s direction. Muscle memory did its best to protect you, to remind you that obeying was always yielded better results than the alternative. He locked eyes with you, fury burning behind his stare. He took another step toward you, prompting Bucky to block your body with his.

“You’re not gonna break into my house, steal a bunch of shit, and get off scot-free,” Alex scolded. 

Bucky stepped closer to Alex, allowing you to make a path toward the front door. Seeing Bucky stand up to the man who’d made your life a living hell brought the smallest of smiles to your face. He really cared about you. Wanted to defend you. It was a new experience for you. On one occasion, a handsy, shitfaced man at a bar downtown felt you up as you waited for a drink. You looked to Alex for help, for defense, for something- but he didn’t care. He bought the offender a drink and apologized for your antics.

But anyone who hurt you hurt Bucky, too.

A debate sparked inside of you at the site of Bucky taking such a confrontational stance toward Alex. Half of you wanted Bucky to back off, to stay away from Alex, to protect his pardon. But the other half wanted nothing more than to watch Bucky tear Alex to shreds. To see Alex’s blood stain the brilliant marble floors. 

Once you’d gotten out of Alex’s reach, Bucky turned his back on the man and headed in your direction. Freedom was so close- you could almost taste it. But just as you reached for the door, Alex said something that stopped you dead in your tracks.

“Okay, sure! Have fun with the psychotic murderer!” 

Something inside you snapped.

Slowly, deliberately, you turned in his direction. The trash bag tucked under your arm fell to the floor, and all fear Alex previously elicited within you vanished. That anxiety, that panic vacated its spot, making room for a white-hot rage. 

Bucky’s hand encircled your wrist, “Sweetheart, don’t. He’s not worth it.”

But it was too late. No one- especially not Alex- was allowed to speak about Bucky that way. No one was allowed to disparage the kindest person you’d ever met. Over the course of your painful relationship with Alex, you stood up for yourself once. Maybe twice. It never seemed like it was worth the effort or the fight, but Alex speaking about Bucky with such blind hatred ignited a fire within you. Bucky was worth the fight. 

“First of all,” you said, “You don’t get to talk about him. You don’t know him- you’re not good enough to know him. He’s a better person that you could ever dream of being. Because Bucky actually has a soul. He actually knows how to care for people.”

Adrenaline rushed to your head. Speaking to Alex this way felt good- amazing, even. And without fear of consequences or retaliation, you let loose.

“And second, I didn’t break into your house if this is my house too- and you changed the locks!” You spat at him. His eyes widened a bit as your unexpected ferocity boiled over. “And this stuff-” you pointed to the garbage bags, “is mine! It’s my stuff that you broke because you had a fucking tantrum! I’m not stealing anything from you… you stole from me! You stole over a year of my life that I will never get back.”

You took a few more steps in Alex’s direction, much to Bucky’s dismay.

“You did everything you could to tear me down and fucking destroy my self-worth. You pulled me away from my family and my friends- and for what? Just so you could feel special? So, you could feel superior? Are you that insecure? Is your manhood that fragile?”

Alex’s bravado faltered every so slightly. His smug grin faded. His jaw tensed. But he did his best to recover. To seem aloof, bored. He rolled his eyes, “Well, I-”

“I’m speaking,” you hissed. 

Alex quieted. Fear flickered in his eyes.

“You controlled every fucking aspect of my life!” you yelled. “You made me believe I wasn’t good enough- that you were the only one who would ever love me. And you gave me a goddamn ultimatum that almost ruined my friendship the person who loves me most- with the person I love most.”

Bucky couldn’t help the blush that warmed his cheeks.

“Most of the things you did to me can be fixed. I’ll rebuild my self-worth. I can fix my relationships with my friends. But the one thing I will never get back is the time that I could’ve spent with Bucky,” your voice wavered ever so slightly, but the wrath burning inside you immediately fortified it again. “And for that, I wish you nothing but pain and suffering.” 

Satisfied, you turned on your heel and headed for the door. But Alex wasn’t done.

“Oh, so I’m the bad guy cause I didn’t want you spending all your time with another man?” Alex scoffed. ”You were always sleeping over at his house- in his fucking bed. When you weren’t talking to him, you were talking about him. You always put him first- you’re IN LOVE with the guy!”

Neither you nor Bucky spoke. And you didn’t dare look at him. An intense warmth rushed into your cheeks. Your heart raced. And though you wanted to throw a rebuttal in Alex’s face, no words came. You hated to admit it, but he was right. 

You were, of course, in love with Bucky. You always had been- it wasn’t even a question. How anyone met him and didn’t fall in love with him was a mystery to you. He was so sweet, so thoughtful, so endlessly and overwhelmingly kind. He made you laugh harder than anyone you’d ever known. Loving him came instantly. Naturally. 

Bucky’s mouth ran dry at Alex’s accusation. And his heart stopped when you didn’t refute it. Never before had he ever rooted for Alex, of all people, to be right. But there’s a first time for everything.

“But, yeah,” Alex continued, “I’m the bad guy cause I didn’t want my girlfriend whoring herself out to some other guy…”

A past version of you would’ve teared up at a comment like that. Alex’s words would’ve broken your heart and left you bleeding all over the place. But this new you- the version that Bucky helped coax into the world- didn’t care. Alex didn’t have power of you, not anymore.

With a chuckle, you turned your back on Alex and strutted toward the door. He hollered insults at you- calling you a slut, a whore, a good-for-nothing bitch. But the words rolled off of you like water off a duck’s back.

“Good luck with her, man!” Alex called after Bucky, “You can have her! Please, take her off my hands! She’s all yours.” 

Bucky followed you into the hallway, beaming with pride. He’d wanted to speak up, to tell Alex off, to tear him apart for speaking badly of you. But this was your fight, not his. And he knew you didn’t need anyone defending your honor. Didn’t need him stealing your moment. After everything Alex did to you, you deserved to scream at him. To get everything off your chest. To give Alex a small taste of his own medicine. Bucky was only there for moral support. For protection. 

He placed your things gently on the floor and wrapped you in a bear hug. This was the version of you he’d known so well all those months ago. Before Alex stripped you of your confidence and whittled you down to nothing. 

“I’m so proud of you,” he whispered against your neck. “That’s my girl.”

“Thank you…” You breathed a long, deep sigh of relief. Finally, it was over. But it still felt too early to celebrate, to revel in the victory. You were still in the hallway outside the apartment. Still in the building. Still, technically, in Alex’s clutches. “Let’s get out of here.”

“One sec. I forgot something.” Bucky turned for the door, but you caught his arm.

“Don’t,” you pled. “Just don’t. I know what you’re thinking, and he’s not worth it.” You just knew Alex would take such unbridled joy in Bucky physically attacking him. Knew he’d love nothing more than to have Bucky arrested and charged with assault. The thought made you nauseous. “He’s not worth your pardon.”

“Sweetheart, I’m not gonna hurt nim,” he promised. “I just wanna talk to the guy.”

For a long moment, you searched his face for any sign that he was lying. The twitch of a brow. The hint of a smile. But you came up empty. And so, you released him. 

“Wait for me downstairs, okay?” He brushed a kiss against your cheek and disappeared inside the apartment once again.

Bucky found Alex leaning against the counter, whiskey in hand. He barely looked up at the sound of Bucky’s boots, but Bucky clocked the eye roll Alex threw his way. 

“Let me guess, you’re back to teach me a lesson?” Alex mocked. “Oh, I’m so scared of the depressed, PTSD- riddled, lame-ass version of the Winter Soldier.” He feigned a fearful expression and made himself laugh before taking a swig of his drink. “What are you gonna do, therapize me to death?”

But Bucky maintained a calm aura- almost too calm. His hands didn’t shake with fury. His heartrate didn’t spike. He kept his breathing even. He approached Alex with a thin, tense smile, and even maintained the expression as his metal hand wound around the man’s throat. Before Alex knew what hit him, his body was pressed against the nearest wall. His feet dangled a few inches above the floor as he fought for his freedom, but it was useless. 

Bucky’s tone was composed, measured, even. It sent a chill down Alex’s spine.

“You know how much pain you inflicted on her,” Bucky said. “But you didn’t actually experience it yourself. You didn’t feelit. And as much as I would love to give you a first-hand recreation…” His grip tightened ever so slightly. “I promised her I wouldn’t hurt you. So, I’m just gonna tell you what will happen if you ever bother her again. You listening?”

Alex struggled to nod. A breathy “yes” was all he could manage.

“Good.”

Bucky’s voice grew lower, sharper, vicious. “I’ll break every single one of your ribs. One at a time. I’ll crush your chest so painfully slowly that you will feel the shards of your bones pierce your heart and lungs. And I’ll watch with a smile as you drown in your own blood,” Bucky said. “You will never speak to her or about her ever again- you won’t even think about her. And if you so much as mention her name- if you say anything less than gracious about her in your little douchey finance bro group text, I will make your life a living hell.” He paused a moment, relishing in Alex’s terrified expression. “You keeping up so far?”

Again, Alex struggled to speak. The lack of air and sudden influx of fear left him almost unable to think. But he managed a quiet “yes.”

“Excellent,” Bucky smiled. “You won’t call her. You won’t text her. You won’t harass her. You won’t stalk her social media or drunkenly call her at two in the morning. You’re going to leave her alone- forever. And if you ever- ever- contact her again, I’ll know. And I’ll be here. I’ve broken that door down once, I’ll be happy to do it again.”

With that, he released his grip on Alex’s neck and sent him crashing to the floor. Watching the man who hurt you sputter and struggle for breath filled Bucky with a sick, twisted kind of joy. Finally, it was Alex who was scared. Alex who was uncomfortable. Alex who felt pain. 

“The only contact you’re going to have with her,” Bucky continued, “is the Venmo payment you’re gonna send her for all of the things of hers you destroyed. Her clothes, her make up, her jewelry- all of it. And it’s going to be a very generousamount to make up for all of the sentimental stuff you destroyed, since you know damn well that she won’t be able to replace any of it.” He knelt next to Alex, getting extra close to the terrified man shaking on the floor. “And I know you’ve got the money. So, if it’s not enough, I’ll be back.”

He flashed a winning smile Alex’s way, “Have a nice day.”

Finally, he stood and stalked for the door, a satisfied smile stretching across his face.

The minutes dragged by without Bucky. You sat perched on one of the sofas in the apartment lobby, waiting for him to meet you. Every time the elevator doors opened, you hoped to see his tall frame and your other two bags of stuff. And every time, you were disappointed. It was nice of him to put his pardon on the line for you, to risk his freedom in order to get you the justice you deserved. But it was the last thing you wanted. After spending so much time away from him, your greatest desire was to simply be with him. To spend every minute with him. And you couldn’t do that if he landed himself in prison on assault charges. 

When he finally made his way to the lobby, you scanned him for any signs of a struggle. But his clothes weren’t out of place. And you didn’t find blood crusted over his knuckles. Nothing was amiss. He had the two remaining bags of your belongings tucked under his arms, and a calm, cool demeanor. But even though he didn’t seem riled up, you eyed him with suspicion. Surely, he hadn’t spent all that time upstairs just talking to Alex. 

“Hey, I’m gonna call us an Uber,” Bucky said as he met you at the couch. “That way we don’t have to bring all of your stuff of the train. Are you-”

You narrowed your eyes at him, “What did you do?”

Bucky shrugged. “I didn’t do anything. I just wanted to talk to him-”

“Buck…”

“What?” He shot you a mischievous grin. “I just wanted to give him a piece of my mind. He’s still alive, still breathing, and all of his blood is inside of his body where it belongs.” A sudden seriousness eclipsed his expression. He dropped the playful attitude, placed your things on the couch, and pulled out his phone. “Anyway,” he tapped away at his phone, calling the two of you a ride. “Let’s get you the hell out of here. Sound good?”

He got his answer in the form of a long, nearly asphyxiating hug. The sheer force of your body launching into his knocked the wind from his lungs and sent him reeling backward. A deep laugh bellowed from his chest as he righted his footing and wrapped his arms around you. 

“Thank you so much…” you whispered against his neck. “For everything.”

Bucky’s lighthearted laughter vanished. “Of course, sweetheart.” He doubled down on the hug, pulling you tighter. “You know I always have your back.”

He refused to break the hug. Instead, he allowed you to rest there in his arms, with your face buried in the crook of his neck. Passersby threw strange looks your way, but Bucky paid them no mind. Only when his phone chimed, signaling the arrival of your car, did you finally force yourself to withdraw from his embrace. 

The ride back to Bucky’s was quiet, save for the occasional rustle of your garbage bags. And though you didn’t say a word over the course of the drive, you didn’t dare let go of Bucky’s hand. Your fingers remained so tightly intertwined with his that your knuckles ached- but you held firm. You knew better than to release your grip on a life preserver. 

“Alright, um, is there someplace you want me to set all this stuff?” you asked once you’d returned to Bucky’s. You eyed your overstuffed trash bags sitting in the middle of the living room floor. “I don’t want them to be in the way.”

Bucky just shrugged; he really didn’t seem to mind that your belongings completely encroached on his space. “I’m not worried about it, doll,” he shot you a reassuring smile, “You put ‘em wherever you like.”

But you couldn’t let your things take up the entirety of Bucky’s living room. After everything he’d done for you, you refused to be a less than perfect houseguest. With the toe of your shoe, you pushed the bags into a corner to keep them out of Bucky’s way. You sunk your weight into the large, overstuffed bags, hoping to make them as small as you possibly could. It was the very least you could do. 

“Alright, I’m-” You grabbed your phone off the charger and cleared Alex’s old notifications from the screen with a roll of your eyes. “I’m gonna go call my boss and let her know that a petulant man-child destroyed my work laptop.”

Bucky loved hearing you talk this way. Only a few hours ago, speaking about Alex made you shudder. It turned into a shaking, fragile shell of yourself that Bucky almost didn’t recognize. But you’d stood up to him. You finally fought back. And now, you were casually shit-talking him in Bucky’s living room. 

“And then I’m gonna start looking for a new place to live so I can get out of your hair as soon as possible,” you said as you scrolled through your contacts in search of your boss’s number. “I’m gonna borrow your room for a minute so I can talk with my boss. I’ll be right back.”

The stress of your current situation poked at the back of your mind. You did your best to shut it out and keep moving forward, but pangs of anxiety shocked you every few moments. Yes, you’d freed yourself from Alex’s shackles. And yes, you finally had Bucky back. But your work computer was a goner. You’d missed two meetings today already. And you were now without a place to live. 

Bucky listened to your footsteps growing further and further down the hall as your words buzzed inside his brain. You were going to look for a new place to live. You were going to leave. He didn’t mean to blurt it out, didn’t mean to make his offer in such a strange fashion- but he couldn’t help it.

“You could always live here,” he called after you. And it was too late to force the words back into his mouth. 

Once again, you joined him in the kitchen, a look of bewilderment on your face. “What?”

A nervous smile stretched across Bucky’s face. “I just mean, you’re more than welcome to live here. With me,” he shrugged. “I know this place isn’t nearly as nice as Alex’s, and it’s only a one bedroom- but if you wanted to live here, we could make it work. I don’t mind sleeping on the couch.”

The absurdity of Bucky’s words made you shake your head. “Buck, I’m not gonna make you sleep on the couch in your own home-”

“It’s really okay,” he insisted. “We both know I don’t sleep much, anyway. And if you moved in here, I’d want you to take the bedroom.”

His kindness gave you whiplash. After being with someone so callous, so cruel for so long, Bucky’s warmth was shocking. Unexpected. And though you wanted nothing more than to make a home with him, you couldn’t accept his offer. 

“I can’t do that to you…”

“Yes, you can. I want you to.” Bucky was resolute in his words. His voice didn’t waver, he didn’t break eye contact. He meant what he said.

A long silence filled the room. Of course, you wanted to say yes. You wanted to move in with him and start the next chapter of your life with your best friend by your side. But just as your ‘yes’ tried to slip out of your mouth, you stopped it. You couldn’t accept his offer. At least, not with the proposed conditions. 

“Counteroffer,” you said. “I move in here, and we share the bedroom.”

Your proposal threw Bucky for a loop- but he’d do anything you wanted. All you had to do was ask. 

“Okay, yeah,” he conceded. “The room’s kinda small but we could fit two small beds in there. It might be a little cramped, but-”

“That’s not what I meant,” you laughed. “We would share the bed. I mean, we’ve slept in that bed together more times than I could count. This wouldn’t be any different.”

Bucky’s heart soared. Not only did he have his best friend back- but you wanted to share a bed like the old days. The good days. It was all he could’ve hoped for. 

“And, that way, I’ll be right there in case you have a nightmare or a panic attack,” you said, satisfied. “I can wake you up and make sure you’re alright.” The smile on your face was warm, genuine. You looked forward to helping Bucky, to comforting him. “It’s a win-win in my book.”

It made Bucky melt. He extended a hand in your direction, “Works for me, doll. Deal?”

You extended your hand and almost met his- but an anxious thought made you recoil.

“And you’re sure that you’re okay with me being here all the time? You’re not gonna get tired of me?”

Alex always made you feel like a bother. He’d asked- practically begged- you to move into his apartment. But once you finally fulfilled his request, he looked at your presence with contempt. He made it known that he was frustrated, that he felt like you were always around. And regardless of your newfound freedom, that wound hadn’t healed.

“Cause I work from home, you know. So, I’m gonna be here a lot,” you told him. “I mean, pretty much all day, every day. And if that’s too much, I-”

“I want you to be here- all the time,” Bucky promised. 

And he meant it. 

Finally, your hand found his and delivered a firm shake. “Deal.”

With your housing arrangements taken care of, you once again headed down the hall to call your boss. Everything felt lighter, easier, less overwhelming. Only moments ago, you didn’t know where you’d be sleeping a few days from now. But Bucky swept in- again- and saved the day. He offered you the homelife you’d dreamt of every night since meeting him. He made your dream a reality. 

Bucky remained in the kitchen, silently processing what just happened. Did he really ask you to move in? And did you actually say yes? His heart pounded in his chest. This was the best possible outcome. The fantasy he’d envisioned for years. To have you so close by, to see you every day, to live under the same roof as you- it was all he’d ever wanted. His eyes drifted to the garbage bags that you shoved into a corner of his living room. When he said that he didn’t mind you putting them there, he meant it. He was just happy- elated, really- to have your things in his home. To know that this was their permanent residence. To know that this was your permanent residence. 

And though everything in those bags was mostly destroyed, you were okay. You were safe and comfortable. You were home now. 

When you finally finished your call, you found Bucky in the kitchen. He stood over a swath of sandwich ingredients, assembling a much-needed meal for the two of you.

“I thought you might be hungry,” he said. “You in the mood for lunch?”

“I’m starving,” you told him. Truthfully, you hadn’t even realized you were hungry. The stress of the day muted your body’s hunger signals completely. But somehow, Bucky knew. He always knew what you needed.

The two of you sat on the living room floor, going through your possessions and eating your sandwiches. Bucky helped you comb through each bag of stuff as you determined what, if anything, could be salvaged. His heart broke as the ‘trash’ pile grew, and grew, and grew. It severely outweighed the ‘save’ pile- and you’d only been through one bag. Alex reduced your belongings by at least seventy percent. But you didn’t seem to mind much.

As you were made well aware, there were worse things in life than torn clothes and destroyed make-up. A volatile, loveless relationship, a partner who hated you, a year without the person you loved most; your broken laptop paled in comparison. 

Only one possession really mattered to you- and it survived the rampage. But as you glanced over at the kitchen counter in search of your manila envelope, your heart stopped. Every function within your body came to a screeching halt. It was nowhere to be seen.

Did you drop it in the apartment lobby? Forget it in the Uber? Was your most beloved personal item sitting on the sidewalk outside Alex’s building?

Bucky clocked the anxiety in your expression, the way your eyes searched every inch of the kitchen. He could always sense even the smallest of changes in your demeanor- sometimes before you sensed them yourself. 

“Hey, is everything alright?”

“I’m just looking for my-” A sigh of relief left your chest as your gaze landed on your envelope. It was tucked under a worn cookbook, with only one of its manila corners poking out. “Never mind, I found it.”

Bucky glanced over his shoulder and scanned the kitchen until he realized what had you so panicked. “Oh, yeah. I didn’t want to get anything on it while I was making us lunch,” Bucky said. “So, I just put it under my cookbook to be safe. Is that okay?”

With a breathless nod, you assured him it was just fine. But your heart still boomed inside your chest, and the sweat on your palms still left your skin slick. 

“If you don’t mind me asking, what’s the deal with that envelope?” Bucky asked, testing the waters. “If it’s none of my business, I completely understand. But I could’ve sworn you were about to tell me back at the apartment.”

“And someone just had to interrupt us,” you said, your voice dripping with disdain. “It’s not too personal, I just had to hide it from Alex. I want you to see, though.”

Bucky was right about one thing. You’d tried to show him the contents of the envelope back at Alex’s. But he had the rest wrong; it was his business just as much as it was yours. He just had no idea how personal the contents of that envelope were to him.

You ditched the pile of damaged clothes sitting in your lap and stood, offering your hand to Bucky. “Come on, let me show you.”

Bucky gladly accepted your hand and laced his fingers with yours on the walk to the kitchen. He wasn’t sure what to expect from your special, secret envelope. But he didn’t care. Whether it was a child’s messy crayon drawing or the nuclear codes- it didn’t matter. All that mattered to him was that the contents of this envelope were important to you. And if they were important to you, they were important to him.

“Okay, so, a little backstory…” You slid the envelope out from underneath the book and held it to your chest. “After Alex told me to stop spending so much time with you but before he issued the ultimatum, we got into this big fight,” you rolled your eyes, “I know that comes as a surprise to no one.”

Bucky chuckled at your joke, but the words made his chest ache. To him, your time with Alex sounded more like active combat than love. More like a battlefield than a relationship. 

“And during that fight,” you continued, “he told me I had way too many pictures of me and you on my phone. He thought that at least three-quarters of my phone’s storage was just pictures of us, and he said it was disrespectful to my relationship with him.”

Bucky rolled his eyes, “of course, he did.”

“So, he told me I needed to go through my camera roll and delete every picture of you and me. He said it needed to be done by the time he got home from work the next day, and they actually had to be gone for real. Not saved to the cloud. Not hidden in a private album. Deleted forever.”

Bucky grimaced, “That’s fucking vile.” 

It made Bucky sick to his stomach. He cherished his photos of the two of you. Over the course of the last year, he found himself scrolling through those pictures every day. Several times a day. It was a coping mechanism, a respite from the void you left behind. When his chest ached with the pain of missing you, he’d dive headfirst into the hundreds of photos of the two of you. The selfies from the zoo. The pictures from Sam’s wedding. The blurry snapshot of you braiding his long hair. And for a while, he felt like himself again. The pain would ebb, the soul-crushing grief would let up. It was his saving grace.

If he suddenly had to rid his phone of those images, he’d never know peace again.  

“I know. I thought so, too,” a disgusted look pulled at your features. “But I didn’t wanna cause any more problems between he and I, you know? I didn’t want to give him more reasons to be pissed at me…”

Bucky nodded.

“But there was no way I was ever going to delete our pictures,” you swore. “So, when he was at work the next day, I transferred every photo and video of you and me onto an external hard drive and took it to my sister’s place for safekeeping.”

Bucky’s heart swelled. You didn’t delete the pictures- you couldn’t. They were just as important to you as they were to him. He, of course, never doubted that you valued his friendship. But knowing that you couldn’t bear to part with the pictures of the two of you made him blush. He almost wished you hadn’t risked Alex’s wrath just to save those pictures. Hadn’t put yourself in such a dangerous position. But you did. And it filled him with an all-encompassing warmth. 

“There was one picture- my favorite picture in the world- that didn’t have a digital copy, though. It only exists as an actual, physical print. So, I couldn’t just put it on the hard drive and call it a day. And I didn’t have it in me to hand it over to my sister. I just- I love it too much.” It was a little embarrassing to admit just how much you needed this polaroid picture. But Bucky didn’t make a judgmental comment or laugh at you. He simply listened, happily awaiting the next part of your story.

“So, I put it in this envelope and taped it to the back of my nightstand so Alex would never find it. And when things with him were really awful- which was all the time- and I just needed an escape… I’d go into our room, lock the door, and just stare at this picture for a while.” You blinked away the tears forming along your lash line and swallowed the lump in your throat. 

Carefully, you opened the envelope and freed the polaroid from its hiding place. Revealing it to another person almost felt like stripping naked. This picture was your everything, your most prized possession. Sharing it felt like exposing the deepest, most secretive part of your soul. 

“It might sound kinda stupid, but this thing saved my life during the last year.”

And finally, you presented Bucky with the photo. He took in a small gasp at the sight of this relic of your friendship. Cautiously, he accepted the polaroid and held it with the utmost care. He hadn’t seen this photo in ages; part of him assumed it was long-lost by now. But you’d had it this whole time, cherishing it every single day. 

“Oh, I love this one…” He carefully drank in each detail of the photo, examining it one piece at a time.

It was a snapshot of a perfect moment, frozen in time. Confetti littered the floor, empty solo cups laid abandoned on the coffee table. And there you stood next to Bucky, with one of his arms wrapped lovingly around your shoulders. You were laughing at something; Bucky couldn’t remember what. But he remembered the feeling it gave him- the feeling of warmth. The feeling of home. His lips were pulled into a wide smile as he beamed down at you, drowning in adoration. Sure, it was slightly out of focus and tad bit blurry. But it perfectly illustrated the way you and Bucky felt about each other. The way you cared for each other. Cherished each other. 

Bucky traced the corners of the photo with his fingers, “I never knew where this thing ended up. I’m so glad you kept it.”

“Yeah…” A hurricane of memories hit you all at once, reminding you of all the times you sought solace in that photo. It gave you the comfort Alex withheld. The strength to carry on. The hope that, one day, you’d see Bucky again. “Me too. I just hate that I had to hide it, you know?”

“Hey, how about we do this…” Bucky took your hand in his and walked you over to the fridge. He freed his hand for a moment, only long enough secure the photo to his fridge with a magnet. His hand found yours once again, and the two of you admired your polaroid’s new home.

“I can go get you a frame for it tomorrow, that way you can display it properly. And you can see it every day. But I thought this would be good for now,” he said. “You don’t have to hide it anymore.”

And for a long while, the two of you just stood there in front of the fridge. No one spoke- no one needed to. Bucky freed his hand from yours and opted instead to wrap his arm around your shoulders, just as he’d done in the photo. 

The weight of this moment would’ve shocked a stranger. To anyone else, a blurry photo on a fridge wouldn’t require this much admiration. This much reverence. But to you, this was everything. Six months ago- even a week ago- you never would’ve thought this was possible. You never would’ve thought you’d be here, in Bucky’s apartment, with your favorite photo proudly displayed for all to see. A familiar stinging sensation warned you of the oncoming tears, but you didn’t make an effort to stop them. 

If a genie offered you one wish, you’d wish to go back in time. You’d want to warn your past-self of the slippery slope of Alex’s manipulation. Of the pain and suffering and heartache he caused. Of the way you lost out on a year with your most cherished friend. But with no genie in sight, you opted to simply live better. Love better. And be honest with people- with Bucky.

“Hey, by the way,” you broke the silence. “I wanted to talk to you about something Alex said to me earlier…” It was a miracle the words even came; you were too nervous to even breath. “I just think I should set the record straight and-”

Bucky held up a hand, silencing you. “Don’t worry about it. You don’t have to say anything,” Bucky assured you. “I know he’s just an insecure guy who was feeling threatened, or whatever. I’m not gonna hold you to anything he said.”

You took a step back, freeing yourself from Bucky’s embrace. You needed the space, the distance. If you were going to be honest with him, you needed a clear head. And being so close to him was enough to make you drunk.

“That’s not what I was gonna say.” You paced back and forth a little before almost shouting, “I was gonna say that he was right- I am in love with you. And I have been for a long time.”

A loaded silence sucked all of the oxygen out of the room. No one spoke, no one even moved.

Bucky felt his skin burst into flames. He feared his heart might explode. For so long, the only feeling he’d known was sorrow. Grief. Missing you became his constant state of being. But now, here you were. And you were saying things- things he’d always wanted to hear. Part of him wondered if this was some kind of very long, very detailed dream. But no, this was real. You were right there in from of him, baring your soul and confessing your love. 

“That’s…” he took a deep breath, “that’s not at all what I expected you to say.”

The seconds crept by until they became a minute. Two minutes. Three. But Bucky didn’t say anything else. He let his simple response hang in the air without elaboration. And just like that, your hope imploded. Four minutes of quiet past. And just when the fifth grew close, Bucky finally spoke.

“I bet you don’t know the backstory of that picture.”

A quizzical look pulled at your features. Frustrated hardened your voice. “Buck, I just told you that I’m in love with you, this is not the time to talk about backstory.”

Bucky just shook his head, “come on, humor me, doll.” He shrugged, waiting for you to tell him the story.

“Okay, I mean, I was literally there, so I do know the back story,” you huffed. “It was after Sam’s birthday party. Everyone else had left except for us, Sam, and Nat. We were all goofing around at like, three in the morning or something. And Nat took the picture.” You gave him an expectant look, “there you go. Backstory.”

Bucky made a dissatisfied sound but couldn’t fight the shit-eating grin creeping through his serious exterior. “Hmm, not Quite.”

“What? That is the story, what are you-”

“Technically, yes, that is the story,” the conceded. “But it’s not the full story.”

An irritated sigh left your chest, “okay, fine. What’s the ‘full story’?” You’d never been this frustrated with Bucky before. Never felt this much annoyance toward him; you didn’t like it. He was being difficult on purpose, and clearly enjoying it.

“Well, it was after Sam’s birthday party. And it was only the four of us there, like you said. But…” he began, “After Nat took the picture, she dragged you into the kitchen so you two could take shots. And once you were out of earshot, Sam kinda shoved my shoulder.”

“Okay…”

“And he said I just needed to marry you already.”

Your heart stopped.  “I told him- I swore we were just friends,” Bucky laughed at the preposterous lie. “I told him things with us were strictly platonic. And Sam laughed in my face. He said- and this is a direct quote- ‘platonic my ass. You’re in love with her. If you two aren’t together one year from now, I’ll give you five hundred bucks.’”

He paused, trapping you in suspense. 

“And he was right,” Bucky said. “I was in love you- I am in love with you. I always have been.”

Thousands of thoughts crowded your already overwhelmed mind. Words refuse to string themselves together properly. Thoughts collided with each other and turned into messy, jumbled piles. Somewhere within you, a sense of urgency erupted. Something told you to act- act right now. Don’t give Bucky the time to take it back. Don’t give him the opportunity to say, “never mind”. 

But what were you supposed to say to that? It wasn’t what you’d expected- you hadn’t even let yourself hope for something like this. And now that your ideal scenario was playing out of front of you, you were completely and utterly unprepared.

A few clunky sounds fell out of your mouth; they didn’t even resemble an actual word. You thought it was maybe a combination of “wow” and “cool”- mixed with a healthy dose of unintelligible mumbling. It wasn’t like the smooth, well-crafted delivery that Bucky displayed. Your cheeks burned with humiliation as Bucky stared at you, awaiting your response. 

Everything in you wished you were cooler. Smoother. Less embarrassing. On rare occasions, you let yourself imagine what this moment might be like. And in your head, you always handled it with poise. With grace. In your daydreams, there wasn’t any awkward mumbling or charged silence. Instead, you and Bucky would fall together seamlessly after confessing your love in perfect, poetic sonnets.

This was not that. 

But this was better. Because it was real. Because the Bucky Barnes was standing in front of you, telling you that he loved you. 

Finally, you found your words. 

“That’s all I’ve ever wanted to hear.” 

Bucky’s chest deflated with a deep sigh of relief. Because even though you’d professed your love for him only moments ago, your long silence forced his anxiety into overdrive. What if you were just making a weird joke? What if he’d taken it too seriously? 

But the way you wrapped your body around his confirmed that, yes, you did mean it. You did love him. 

“And hey,” Bucky wriggled free of your arms and took your face in his hands. He needed to make direct eye contact, needed you to know he was serious. “I know what you- I know some of what you went through over the last year. I know you have a lot to process. So, there’s no rush.”

And while it was sweet and thoughtful and kind of Bucky to say such a thing, you weren’t sure if it was true. Because there was a rush, wasn’t there? There was a time limit. A ticking clock. You couldn’t make him table his feelings for you even longer. Couldn’t make him wait. And if you did tell him to press pause, weren’t his feelings going to expire? Weren’t they going to run out? You needed to capitalize on his affections for you now before it was too late. 

But before you could lie through your teeth and tell Bucky you didn’t need to wait, he spoke.

“If you ever want to pursue things with me, I’ll be here,” he promised. “My feelings for you aren’t going anywhere. I’ve waited years for this, I can wait as long as you need.”

But that was just it. He’d waited years- making him wait any longer would be cruel, wouldn’t it? Wouldn’t it be unfair, especially now that he’d rescued you from your volatile relationship? 

It wasn’t that you wanted to delay a romantic relationship with Bucky. No, you wanted it now. The only issue was the heavy toll your ex took on you. You were littered with emotional wounds that were barely beginning to heal. Your anxiety was at an all-time high. And your trust issues reared their ugly heads. This wasn’t the version of you that Bucky deserved. He didn’t deserve the broken-down, mentally unwell shell of a woman that stood before him. And you owed it to yourself to rebuild.

The long silence brought on by your introspection set Bucky on edge. Maybe he really did misread the situation. Maybe you loved him but didn’t want to actually be with him. Maybe he overstepped. 

“And if you never want to pursue anything romantic with me, I’ll understand,” he said. “There won’t be any hard feelings. I’ll always be here for you, whether it’s as a friend or-”

“Shut up.”

Your lips melted against his. Your fingers weaved into his hair and pulled him close. His hands gripped you at the waist and pulled you flush against his body. Everything quieted. the noise from the city, your residual anxiety- it all faded. All that remained was Bucky. His hands, his lips, his stubble scratching against your skin. 

It was odd, getting everything you’d ever wanted. Never did you think this was possible- you didn’t even consider it. You resigned yourself to a life of unhappiness and heartache and longing. You assumed you’d die without ever truly knowing what true love felt like. But you felt it now; it felt like Bucky. 

No part of you wanted to pull away, but you had to. You had to set the record straight. Suddenly, your lips vanished from Bucky’s. He instantly frowned. 

“You didn’t seriously think that I was gonna tell you I’m in love with you and then not pursue a relationship with you, did you?” You threw a dramatic scoff his way, “Are you crazy?” 

“Hey, I don’t know!” Bucky laughed. “I guess what I meant is… I understand. And I just wanted you to know that there’s no pressure. I don’t ever want you to be uncomfortable.”

Once again, your lips found Bucky’s. This was his preferred way of existing now. Any moment spent without your lips on his seemed like a waste.

“I just need some time,” you said, breaking the kiss again. “I promise it won’t be long- I swear. I want to be with you more than anything. I just have some stuff to work through first.”

Bucky ran a hand over your hair. Your shoulder. Your forearm. Finally, he laced his fingers with yours like he had a million times before. But it felt different now. More permanent.

“Of course, sweetheart. You take as long as you need. I’m not worried about the time.”

An exaggerated grimace pulled at your features, and a joking air spilled into your speech. “Oh, good. Cause if I’m remembering correctly, Sam’s birthday party was September twenty-fourth of last year. And today is September twenty-ninth. So, I made you miss the one-year mark by five days, which means he’s not gonna pay up.”

Bucky’s laugh boomed through the small apartment. It bounced off every all, surrounding you with your favorite sound. 

“You know, I hadn’t even thought of that,” Bucky finally said when he caught his breath. “But I’m not worried about it.” His bright smile and joking tone fell away, stripping his words bare. He grew gravely serious. “I’m just glad you’re here,” he said. The authenticity almost scared you. “I’m so happy to have you back where you belong.”

He enveloped you in a long, deep kiss that stole your breath. Only two days ago, you were a rain-soaked, broken-hearted mess. The world was bleak. Cold. Empty. You swore you didn’t see the sun the entire time you were with Alex. But now, the warmth of Bucky’s kindness and warmth perfused everything with bright, vibrant colors. The storm clouds finally parted, revealing the most beautiful, golden daylight. 

And after everything, Bucky was finally yours. 

But he always was. 

Everything you’d been through, all the pain and suffering and misery, brought you to this moment. And you couldn’t think of anything that could ever pull your attention from the way Bucky’s lips felt against hers. 

But something stole your focus.

A strange sound came from your phone- you swore it sound like a ‘cha-ching’. The two of you parted for a moment, allowing you to investigate. 

“Was that- I think that was a Venmo notification…” you said. “But I didn’t-” You pulled your phone from your back pocket and glanced at your screen, only to find the one name you never wanted to see again. Alongside that name, though, was a number- a large number.

“Alex just sent me three thousand dollars.” You narrowed your eyes at Bucky, “Did you do this?”

Bucky’s head fell back in a devious, almost maniacal laugh. “Baby, I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

-------------------------------------------

@beefybuckrrito @shadytalementality @everything-burns-down @rainbow-unicorn-pony @breakablebarnes @psychoticmason @glxwingrxse @onewolf471 @dreamerglassesgirl @purpleshallot @the-gods-gloted-but-they-burned @seitmai @itvy5601 @dailyreverie @navs-bhat @eviesaurusrex @themorningsunshine @evangeliamerryll @buckys-metal-arm @broadwaybabe18 @the-kestrels-feather @avocadotoastwithegg @goldylions @lokisasgardianvampirequeen @vrittivsanghavi @idkitsem @avengetheunnatural @rassvetsky @hereforbuckyandsteve @barnesselo @juvellian @samanthacookieone @frombkjar @blackbirdsinatrenchcoat

(I don't know what the fuck is going on with my tags, they dont work apparently)

[cryptidghostgirl]

Heya! I just found you and I knew that I immediately had to put in a request!! May I ask for Alastor x chubby reader?? With hurt and comfort?? Where a random demon makes her feel bad for being chubby and Alastor comforts her AND CONFESSES that he's in love with her 🙇🏻‍♀️🙇🏻‍♀️🙇🏻‍♀️ and then in true Alastor fashion he rips the demon apart for making reader feel bad PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

A/N of course!! this is good vibes. yes. 11/10 for the adorable scale. I've been writing so much angst,, the fluff request is so welcome. ALSO THIS GIF I FOUND FOR THE IMAGE OF THIS STORY IS SO CUTE WTF.

Sweet (Alastor x Chubby!Reader)

Pairing: Alastor x Reader

Warnings: Hurt//comfort, tw for body image stuff/issues, gore but make it cute, uh... fluff. Sickeningly sweet fluff. Extra TW body image stuff. May or may not have channeled some of my ten years experience with eds into this one besties, sorry about that.

Word Count: 3,330

Master Lists:

Master Lists 

Hazbin Hotel Master List

The truth of it was: Y/n knew exactly how pretty she was. That didn't keep it from hurting when people made unprovoked, snide remarks about her weight. More than one thing can be true at the same time.

She was kind of used to it by now. People in the human world had been rude on occasion, she'd had doctors occasionally act discriminatorily towards her because of her weight, a shitty date or partner or two who told her to lose it, but it had been nothing in comparison to Hell. It was Hell after all, home to the worst of the worst. Y/n tried to toughen up, thicken her skin. After a life on earth and another fifteen years down below she couldn't help but feel like it shouldn't hurt anymore. It still always did.

This one had been particularly bad. Y/n had stepped out of the hotel, intent on meeting a friend for lunch. She'd gotten all dressed up for it too, in her favorite outfit with her makeup done all pretty. She hadn't just felt good stepping out, she'd known she was hot. There had been a spring in her step and a coy smile on her face as she lowered her heart shaped sunglasses from the top of her head.

Five minutes, four blocks. That's all it took.

"Jesus, who let you outside in that?" the man had laughed, "Cover that shit up, I'm gonna vomit."

Y/n had sent her friend a text, saying she wasn't feeling well. She had apologized and asked to reschedule. Y/n had gone home.

Angel Dust had tried to approach her as she had stormed into the lobby but, she had brushed him off, rushing to her room. Y/n hand't meant to be rude. She had every intention of finding him later to apologize, the tears had just been pressing hotly behind her eyes and she needed to be alone. She loved Angel, trusted him, through of him as a brother but god, she did not want to cry in front of him. Not right now anyways, not over something so... so... stupid.

Y/n slammed the door to her room harshly behind her as she entered it, throwing herself onto the bed and burying her face in the pillow. In the comfort of pinks and piles of stuffed animals, she sobbed.

It wasn't even the comment that was getting to her anymore, although it had been a particularly awful one. No, what was upsetting her now was how she'd let it get to her. She felt stupid and weak and more than anything in the world she just wanted to rip the clothes off her body along with her skin and disappear from the physical world.

Her shoulders shook harshly, the pillow now damp. She was sure her makeup was a mess but didn't care. It wasn't like anyone was going to see her anyways, not until tomorrow at least. Y/n was trying to get redeemed but she wasn't trying to get made fun of. If she could keep this to herself, she was going to.

It wasn't that she didn't trust the others in the hotel. Y/n actually trusted them more than about anyone she'd met in Hell up to this point. They were kind and caring, invested in themselves and one another even if they pretended they weren't. There was just the fear. There was always the fear, the internal need for perfection, to show no weakness.

Almost as if the universe was fucking with her, as if it could tell exactly what she didn't want, there was a knock at the door. Y/n groaned audibly into the pillow. Of course, just when she wanted to be left alone. The knock came again and she slowly sat up, still sniffling and hurriedly wiping her eyes.

"Uh, yeah." she called, trying her best to keep her voice from trembling and praying she didn't look too much of a mess even if it was probably just Charlie or Angel, "It's open. Sorry."

Y/n's eyes widened slightly in shock as Alastor opened the door. Out of everyone in the hotel, he was probably the person she knew the least. She made the effort of course. Despite knowing his status and his history, she tried to play nice and make friends. It was he who avoided her, not the other way around.

To be perfectly honest, Alastor made Y/n a bit nervous. It wasn't because of his reputation. They were in Hell for heaven's sake, everyone had one of those. No, it was the way her heart beat a little faster when he was in the room. It was the way that every time she looked at him, she secretly hoped she'd catch him looking at her too.

Alastor had never been in Y/n's room before. It was all satin and pink and lace. He couldn't help but think it suited her to a t. It was all perfect, she was perfect. Except here she was crying, just as Angel had said she might be.

What had happened was this: Alastor had over heard Angel saying something to Husk. They were at the bar, Angel was drinking as always, and saying he was worried about Y/n. Alastor had pressed and when Alastor pressed, he always got his way. Apparently Y/n had come back to the hotel mere minutes after having left to go get lunch with a friend. Angel said she had seemed really agitated, genuinely upset.

That had made Alastor angry. Not normal angry more delicate than that, more minute. It made him upset, he hurt for Y/n in her theoretical pain. He wasn't used to this whole feeling things thing. His body on autopilot, Alastor himself had been surprised when he found himself before her door, poised to knock.

Y/n watched him, her eyes glassy and her cheeks flushed. There were dark circles of mascara beneath her eyes that matched the stains on her pillow behind her and her pretty dress had a few wrinkles in it.

"Whatever is the matter, my dear?" Alastor asked, stepping fully in to the room.

"Oh, nothing." Y/n tried to brush him off, looking away towards the window as she pulled a stuffed animal into her lap.

It was her trembling lip that gave her away. Alastor let the door fall shut behind him. Y/n turned as she felt the bed dip beside her, her mouth slightly open.

"I would advise you not to lie to me."

He hadn't meant for it to sound like that. He saw the way Y/n stiffened instinctually at his words, at his tone. Alastor didn't know how to exist in a non threatening way, its how he'd lived his whole life in this world and the one before it. It was how he protected himself. He took a breath.

"What I mean," he slowly corrected himself, "is that you don't need to lie. I..."

He cleared his throat, uncomfortable with the way he was forcing himself to be honest. Honesty was, however, the only option. He saw the way Y/n's gaze was distant, her body tense. For the first time in his life, he wanted to help someone else. It was strange. Alastor submitted himself to the oddity of it all, the discomfort. It was his gift to her.

"I'm here to help."

"I..." Y/n trailed off, big wet tears pooling in her eyes, "It's nothing. I'm okay, really. It's stupid."

With a gentleness that surprised both of them, Alastor lifted a hand to her face, wiping a stray tear. He held it on the tip of his finger before his eyes, examining the way a jeweler would a diamond.

"If it's upsetting you this deeply, it's not stupid."

That was the last straw. Y/n, unable to hold herself back any longer, collapsed into his chest. Her body shook with sobs. Alastor held his arms out, unsure of what to do with them. It took him a second to comply with her unspoken request, wrapping them around her. He found himself rubbing small circles on her back, trying to soothe her.

There was a reason Alastor avoided Y/n and it was that the demoness made him feel things. Things he was unaccustomed to feeling, things that felt dangerous in their warmth and care. Bubbly little things that got caught in his chest and tied up his tongue. If he had thought about his actions, he wouldn't have come to her side but he hadn't and so, here he was. This was all unknown territory, he felt blind and alone in the dark. Alastor didn't like that.

They stayed like that for several minutes until Y/n was finally able to regain some control of her breathing. She calmed herself methodically, as if it was a ritual she was well practiced in. Alastor found himself wondering how many times she had felt like this, reacted to something in her life like this, and had no one there to hold her. He didn't like that thought. He couldn't decide what was worse, if no one ever had been there or if there was someone else who she wanted in times like this, someone other than him. Someone better, more well versed in the delicate intricacies of emotion.

She lifted herself from his chest, his arms falling from her back to his sides as she wiped the last few stray tears.

"I'm sorry." she half laughed, "I don't know what came over me... and I've ruined your suit."

Alastor looked down. There were indeed black stains from her running makeup on his jacket. Normally such a thing would irritate him to no end, anger him even. It was Y/n who had made them however and so, he didn't care. He turned back to her, shaking his head slightly.

"Nothing a wash can't fix. Now, why don't you tell me what happened?"

"It's stupid." Y/n shook her head, her eyes finding her hands in her lap.

She still held the stuffed animal there, a rabbit. She fiddled with it's ears absent mindedely, twisting them and rubbing them in a practiced manner.

"Y/n." Alastor gently warned and she sighed.

"It's just... something someone said to me. That's all."

Alastor's brow furrowed slightly at the notion.

"What did they say? Who was it?"

The words had fallen from him quicker than he had meant them to, more earnestly. He was grateful Y/n seemed to stuck in her own world to notice such a thing.

"Just some asshole making a comment about my weight. Saying that I shouldn't wear what I wear, saying the sight of me made them nauseous. The normal dickwad stuff. I should be used to it by now, I've been chubby all my life but... I don't know. It still just makes me want to disappear. To rip myself apart by the fistful, you know?"

Y/n looked up at Alastor when he didn't respond, her cheeks red with embaressment.

"I told you, it's du-"

"Who the fuck said it?" he asked through gritted teeth, trying his best to remain calm.

"Alastor, it's fine." Y/n sighed, "I don't know why you're getting so worked up about it. Like I said, I've heard it all before."

She made to turn back to the plushie in her lap but before she could, Alastor cupped her face gently in his hands.

"Al... what are you..."

"Y/n, you are stunning."

There he went again, not thinking. Y/n was dangerous, to be avoided. She paraded around in her sweet sundresses and angelic disposition, practically unfit to have been sent to Hell in the first place. She was the simple syrup in lemonade, she was the best mixed drink.

Her tongue ran gently over her lips, an innocent and thoughtless gesture on her part that sent his mind reeling as she mulled over his words. Her brow furrowed.

"Alastor, I-"

"You are the most beautiful person I have ever laid eyes on, living or dead."

There he went again, his tongue a million miles ahead of his brain. Y/n let out a light laugh, her head still in his hands.

"What?" Alastor asked, feeling the heat rush to his cheeks, "I mean it."

"I thought you hated me." Y/n confessed.

"Far from it, my sweet."

His voice was barley more than a whisper. Y/n looked away.

"You drive me to distraction."

Her presence was like some strange truth serum rushing through his veins, now he had started, he couldn't seem to stop.

"I've never... You're unlike anyone I've ever met. You shine in this dark place."

"Alastor, this is a lot." Y/n admitted after a moment.

"My apologies." he let go of her face, his heart sinking, "I did not intend to make you feel worse."

He should have known. Alastor, in his foolish frenzy, had forgotten himself, his legacy, his persona. How could someone as sweet as a sun ripened strawberry stolen straight from the bush feel anything towards him save fear?

"I'll go."

Alastor made to get up, had every intent to actually leave and give Y/n her space. At the felling of her small hand on his arm, he paused and turned back to her.

Y/n's face was bright red, she refused to meet his gaze. Her arm not holding him was wrapped tightly around her stuffed animal like a charm.

"No, please." she took a deep breath, meeting his eyes once again at last, "I... I think... you're rather... handsome... as well."

Her speech was halting, uncertain in its anxiety. His smile widened.

"You do now, do you?" he asked, lifting her head a little higher with a finger beneath her chin.

"Oh hush." she scolded him, "If anyone was going to lie out of the pair of us, I'm pretty sure it'd be you. I am trying to be redeemed, in case you've forgotten, and you probably just want my soul or some shit."

"How can I prove to you that the only way I want your soul is given willingly and out of contract?"

Y/n laughed again, a genuine joy.

"Pinky promise me."

She held up a hand and Alastor quickly locked pinkies with her.

"I meant every word I said. I've had... eyes for you for a while now. You are the rosy fingered dawn. You are... you're you. You are Y/n."

"I am Y/n, aren't I." she smiled cockily back.

It was a relief to see her return to her normal confident self.

"I meant everything I said too. I've... I've had eyes for you too, or whatever."

She looked away, her cheeks even brighter pink than before. Alastor let go of her pinky and, leaning forward, pressed a soft and tentative kiss to the top of their head. Y/n immediately snapped her head back to him. Before he could register what was happening, she had tackled him in a hug, throwing them both to the bed.

Looking down at him from her perch on his lap, she smiled brightly.

"Can I kiss you?"

The question took him by surprise. He had never kissed anyone before save the tender kiss on the cheek reserved for dear friends and close family. He hesitated in indecision, in uncertainty.

"You're allowed to say no." Y/n followed up, noticing his apparent discomfort, "I don't want to move things too fast for you."

Alastor shook his head, the truth of his own desire unexpected even to him.

"No. You can."

Y/n's smile widened as they dipped down, pecking him on the lips. His cheeks warmed as she straightened herself up again, her hands pressed flat against his chest.

"You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that for."

She smelled sweet, she looked sweet, god, she probably even tasted sweet. His tongue darted out of his mouth across his lips jus ever so slightly, the flavor of her strawberry lipgloss fueling his infatuation.

"Do that again."

It didn't take long for Alastor to track down the demon in question that had sent Y/n spiraling that afternoon. After their promise had been made and she had agreed to the date he had proposed for the next day, she had spilled everything. Her head in his lap as he had run his fingers through her hair, she had complained liberally about the demon. Her complaints had, thankfully, included a full description of the man.

Once the hour was late and he was sure she was fast asleep along with everyone else in the hotel, Alastor had slipped out onto the streets. The demon was, of course, easy to locate. He was loud and distinctive. Alastor found him drunk in a bar harassing a woman. He watched, waiting patiently until the man left and when he did, Alastor followed him.

He cornered the demon, sending his shadows to torment the man. He was on his knees close to tears by the time Alastor finally decided to join in on the fun. He leered down at the demon, grinning from ear to ear.

"I heard you said something rather cruel today." he hummed.

"I didn't!" the man pleaded, "I swear!"

"Not even to a pretty little demon in heart shaped sunglasses?"

The man's eyes widened slightly in obvious recollection.

"I... fuck, I didn't know. I swear, I didn't know who she was. I didn't know she was with you!"

Alastor stretched in the darkness of the ally, his horns growing thorny and tall as he entered his true demon form. The man trembled in fear. It was pathetic, truly.

"It doesn't matter. You ruined her plans for the day and so, in return, I am going to ruin you."

With those final words, he pounced. The tongue of the man was the first thing to go, ripped with great force from his throat and tossed to the side.

Next were his ears, Alastor tore them from his head slowly. The man screamed, a choked and guttural sound through the blood in his throat. Alastor laughed shamelessly, his claws finding a home in the demon's stomach next.

He disemboweled the man with ease, careful to keep everything connected so he was still alive. Then, he went for the eyes, gouging them out in harsh slashing movements. Alastor straightened himself, looking down upon his mess of a creation.

"I would say that next time you will think before saying something like that again but, I think we both know there wont be a next time."

A strange sound left the demons throat, obviously a plea of mercy. Without a tongue, he could not articulate his wishes.

"What?" Alastor asked, putting a hand to his ear as he slowly returned to his normal appearance, "I am sorry but could you say that again? I couldn't quite make it out."

Another strangled, desperate sound left the man's throat. Alastor laughed.

"Well, I've given you a chance to beg for your life and you have chosen not to take it." he taunted, leaning back over the man, "I supposed that means you have opted for death. Very well."

In a single, swift movement he tore the man's throat from his neck. The demon twitched under him for a few seconds longer before at last stilling in death. Alastor examined his work for a moment before pulling himself to his feet. Without a glance back towards the body, he straightened his jacket and let his shadows take him from the ally.

Y/n was under his protection now. He had tried so long to avoid the call, the weakness, her charms pulling him in. At long last, he had succumbed and under his watch, no one was going to ever make her feel anything less than perfect ever again.

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A/N This is the first time I have ever written something like this, I hope it was okay.

[ghosty-writes-23]

(Re-Vamp) His Precious Doll. - Leon S Kennedy.

!TAGS!: NSFW Content, Porn with Plot, Yandere!Leon, !DARK CONTENT!, Dead Dove Do Not Eat, Stalking, Breaking & Entering, Past Trauma, Slight Somnophilia, Obsessive/Possessive Behavior, Angst, Panty Stealing, Surveillance, Blood, 3rd Person’s POV, Mental Instability, Drama, Gaslighting, Manipulation, Eating out, !WRAP IT, BEFORE YOU TAP IT! (Don’t be like Leon and y/n), Bareback sex, Riding, Creampie, Leon is a simp, !UNEDITED!

Pairing: Ghostface!Leon + Best!Friend!Fem!Reader

Rating: Mature

Summary: "Oh....Y/n, Y/n, Y/n; You Are In Terrible Danger." You where the object of his affections and he would do anything to have you even if it meant kidnapping you and taking you always from the ones you loved because he wanted to keep you safe.

Word Count: 12k

Ghosty's Notes: Hello my lovelies, I know I promised part.2 to Ghostface!Leon almost over a year ago and never got around to it. (*hangs head in shame*) but fear not as I have come back not only with a new Ghostface!Leon one-shot, but I have written both part.1 & part.2 and even added a part epilogues and updated the story in this post. This now has a story and full smut scenes, thank you so much to the people that have waited this long, I am so sorry it took this long to finally get around to it, so please enjoy this updated new & improved version of His precious Doll face with a new title.

Another Note: This was written with either RE2R!Leon or RE4R!Leon or InfiniteDarkness!Leon in mind.

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Thank you for all the support, it means alot❤️

-Ghosty :] ❤️🦝

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Part One: The Wolf In Sheep Clothing.

In the small town of Raccoon city people were getting ready for the Halloween celebration, you loved the spooky season, the cold weather as it gave you an excuse to stay inside all day wrapped up in blankets and watching movies. Tonight, there was Halloween parties going on all around your university, people getting dressed up in funny costumes, some girls going dressing up as bunnies in hopes to get with somebody that is good in bed for the night while boys went as superhero’s to show off their abs and trying to find themselves a girl for the night. you weren’t really into the partying side of Halloween night, or dealing with the hangover afterwards but you did enjoy giving candy to trick or treaters when you used to stay at your mom’s house.

But even with all of the festivities going on there was a small feeling of unease in the town that not even the celebration of the spooky season could hide, recently there has been a string of murders and missing people on campus and as much as people want to pretend it never happened, there is this constant feeling of needing to look behind you and not to travel alone at night, the only evidence the police have found at one of the crime scenes was a Ghostface mask, they don’t know if it from the actual murder for just a Halloween prop but the police are not taking my chances.

Your father was the chief of police at the Raccoon city police department, he was doing everything he could to try and get the person responsible for these crimes and put them behind bars but also to protect the people of this city, you saw how hard your dad worked and sometimes you wished he could take a break ad you could hang out like you used to when you where younger, but you knew that wasn’t going to happen anytime soon so they is why you always savoured the moments you did get with him.

Shaking your head you decided tonight you would be having a self-care night maybe paint your nails, do a face mask and watch buffy the vampire slayer since you found it on Netflix and you had stolen the password to Leon’s account, while you were getting everything set up you where scrolling thought your phone and a news article caught your eye.

It was about the recent body that was found in the lake near the bridge that was located just on the outskirts of town, it seemed the killer striked again and it was another guy you had seen around your university, you think you one or two classes with him and only talked to him a couple of times he seemed like a nice guy from what you could remember.

The article was calling out the police authorities saying they could be doing more, that every missing person, or body found was their fault since they haven’t caught the killer yet, but you couldn’t help but roll your eyes.

“It’s not like catching a killer is easy.” You mumble under your breath as you exit the article and locked your phone screen with a sigh. you knew your father was trying his best, both him and his department but how do you find somebody that seems to vanish into thin air, plus tonight will not be helping since the killer could be dressed up and in public and nobody would ever know, like a wolf in sheep’s clothing.

After a couple of minutes your phone buzzed, grabbing it you unlocked your screen and saw the text message was from your group chat with your friends Chris, Claire, Jill, Carlos, Luis, Ada and Leon. It was a group picture of them at the boys frat house party, they were all dressed up as various Halloween icons.

Leon was Ghostface, It was a tradition that you both dressed up as Ghostface, Chris was Michael Myers, Luis was Dracula, Carlos was a werewolf, The girls were pressed as the powerpuff girls, Jill was Blossom, Ada was buttercup and Claire was bubbles, they each looked adorable in their costumes.

Luis: You should have joined us; we miss you señorita.

Chris: Boo, you suck for not coming, Leon’s been pouting all night.

Leon: No, I haven’t.

Carlos: yes you have.

Claire: I agree with Carlos.

Jill: Me too.

Ada: I agree too.

Leon: Great now you guys are ganging up on me.*Leon has left the chat.*

Y/N: You guys need to stop bullying Leon.

Chris: Why it’s fun.

Y/n: Chris.

Chris: Fine.

Y/n: I’ll come to the next party.

Chris: You better, or I am dragging you out of your apartment over my shoulder.

Luis: You can’t threaten her like that.

Carlos: I would love to see that.

Y/n: Bring it on big boy.

With a small shake of your head, you laughed softly to yourself, this friend group was chaotic but you loved it all the same, you knew Chris wasn’t lying when he said he would come and drag you out of your apartment, he had done it once back in your first year of University.

You remember whining saying you wanted to stay in bed but Chris picked you up like a sack of potatoes and tossed you over his shoulder, then walked out of your dorm, but now you just accept your fate when you know he is coming over. When you clicked out of your group chat messages you saw you had a message from Leon.

Leon: I do wish you had come tonight, makes these parties more bearable.

Y/n: Sorry I wasn’t feeling it tonight, but I promise I’ll come to the next one, protect you from Chris’s teasing.

Leon: That would be much appreciated.

You and Leon had been best friend since you were in diapers, you basically grew up together, having been next door neighbors and your parents being best friends, you and Leon were always at each other’s houses, playing imaginary and make believe games, having sleepovers where you would stay up late watching movies and eat so much junk food your stomach’s would hurt, you went to the same schools and even got accepted into the same universities.

Leon was your bestest friend and your parent’s always used to joke that you and Leon would get married someday, you even had a little ‘wedding’ in your backyard with all of your stuffed toys as guests, your wedding ring was a strawberry flavoured ring pop while Leon’s was grape, you even still had the plastic bottom in your jewelry box.

But when Leon was 21 and you were 19 tragedy struck when Leon’s parents were killed in an car accident, there car was ran off a bridge into a lake, his mother died on blunt force trauma to the head, his father drowned trying to save his wife, you remembered the police officers coming to Leon’s apartment.

You were having your weekly movie night with the friend group, once they had told him the news Leon asked everybody to leave, but just as you were about to leave, Leon grabbed your wrist and pleaded for you not to leave him alone, that night was spend with Leon clinging to you and crying, he told you what the officers told him and your heart broke for him, you cried with him.

You promised him you would never leave him ever, and that you would always be there for him as you held him tightly against you, what you didn’t realise at the time was this would be the start of Leon’s every unhealthy obsession with you that you didn’t even know about.

Back in the present, you looked at the time and saw it was almost 12am, the streets were now quiet expect for the few occasional drunk collage student, you grabbed your TV remote and flicked off the TV causing it to now be completely dark in your living room, you stood up and wrapped your blanket around you as it was a cold night.

“Come on Oero its time for bed.” You say to your cat as it was stretching on the couch where you just were, she was snuggled up to your side purring softly, but she gives a soft meow and hopes off the couch following you up to your room upstairs.

As you push open your bedroom door you notice Oreo was looking behind her and down the stairs, almost as if she saw something or someone you didn’t. “come on cuddle butt its time for bed.” You say picking her up and giving her a cuddle and kisses all over her furry face.

She gave you a soft hiss, but she don’t try and move away from your affections and she was even purring against you, giving her head a final kiss you got into bed and she made her way to her spot on your bed, which was curling up right next to your chest, her little furry head resting on your neck, she liked being close even in her sleep.

“Nighty night Oreo.” You say as you flick off your bedside table lamp and nuzzle in your pillow getting comfortable, Oero gave you a oft meow back and moved until she got comfortable and soon fell asleep purring softly, and you two soon fell asleep completely unaware that Oero’s behavior before was a warning that somebody was in fact in your house and watching you sleep.

3rd person’s POV

Pushing open the door to your bedroom Leon creeped in quietly, his boots carefully stepping around your room as he carefully made his way to your bed, when he saw your figure sleeping peacefully his heart rate picked up causing him to start breathing heavily as his eyes roamed your figure like a starving animal looking at its next prey, carefully Leon reached behind his head and pulled off the cheap store brought mask, revealing his messy blonde hair that was slightly sticking to his forehead from sweat and blood, but not his blood but the blood of the man that had asked you out on a coffee date a couple weeks ago.

He didn’t even bother to clean up, he was lucky he was wearing mostly all black and being covered in blood doesn’t look suspicious this time of year, it was almost like the perfect cover. Carefully and quietly, he placed his bloody Ghostface mask on your bedside table and kneeled down beside your bed, a lovesick look on his face.

To Leon you were his whole entire world, his life started and ends with you, everything he did, every person he hurt or killed was to keep you safe, because when you love somebody you never want them to get hurt ever. He wanted to protect you from the cruelty of this world, he didn’t care if he had to get his hands dirty, or who’s blood he had to spill, if you kept that sweet, innocent and bright smile, he would let the world burn down just for you if you asked him too.

Taking off one of his bloody glove he gently ran his finger over the soft skin of your flesh, causing you to scrunch up at the sudden feeling, but you didn’t wake only making a soft noise that made Leon’s heart skip a beat in his chest, you were always so cute when you were sleeping, so blissfully and naively unaware of the danger you were in, Leon knew you trusted him completely and so blindly, he couldn’t help but feel it was foolish of you to be so trusting of him, especially after all the things he had done.

But that didn’t stop him from wanting you to be a part of him, for now and forever you were his wife after all in his eyes, that plastic ring pop bottom was his most prized possession and he planned on giving you a real ring and for you to take his last name as he wanted you to feel the same way he does about you, he wanted you to be equally obessed with him as he is with you, but he knows it will take time, he is a patient man especially when it is for his sweet doll.

Leon’s breath caught in his throat when he saw you stirring, you had turned over onto your stomach your cat Oreo was still snuggled up to you sleeping, when his eyes drifted back to you he saw your blanket had fallen off slightly giving him a sneak peek at your ass and the black lace panties there decorated them.

He knew that set all too well, he had brought them for you for your birthday a couple months ago because he saw you looking at them, he couldn’t help but imagine you wearing them just for him, giving him a little show and maybe even getting to touch you with them on, just the thought of being able to touch you was making him hard.

Letting out a heavy breath through his noise, Leon was frozen under you settled back into bed, once you had settled Leon had to resist the urge to kiss the small patch of skin near your hips that was peeking out from under your blanket because your oversized short had ridden up slightly. When he breathed in your sweet sent of vanilla and florals his eyes almost rolled to the back of his head as heat and desire ran through his body, you were always smelt so sweet, it was why he stole pieces of your clothing to take back to his apartment and bury his face in it, he stole things ranging from t-shirts and hoodies to your panties and when they didn’t smell like you anymore he would sneak them back into your apartment without you knowing and take something else.

He knew he was sick and perverted, but he couldn’t stop, he needed you like a normal person needs oxygen and if he couldn’t have you then nobody else would, you were his and have been since the day you appeared in his life like an angel, you were his and he was yours and he had to protect you even if it mean he put camera’s in your house without your permission, when you were visiting your parents, he always had to keep his eye on you like the tracker that was in the bracelet he had given you last year.

His blue eyes traced the curves of your body under the blanket, moving closer Leon made sure his movements didn’t disturb your peaceful slumber. His face was now inches from the back of your neck, his warm breath was hitting the back of your neck causing you to stir again since you were a very light sleeper, Leon didn’t want to wake you up, but he was so desperate to touch you to feel your soft flesh under his care callous hands.

Slowly he tugged your blanket down your legs revealing your soft and round ass. Leon made sure his touch was as light as feather as trailed his hand down your body until he would to the top of your panties, he could see a small wet patch forming causing the cotton panties stick to your slick folds.

Leon could feel his mouth go dry as his gulped slightly, licking his lips like a starving predatory looking down at it’s next meal, his pupils have been blown making also the blue of his eyes disappear as his breathing starts to pick up into soft pants as he could feel his pants start to tighten. Reaching up a callous hand he ran his middle finger up your clothed centre collecting some of your slick on his fingers, a soft groan left his lips when he felt how wet you were, it made him wonder what you were dreaming about, were you dreaming about him? Dreaming of the pleasure and ecstasy he could bring you if you would only let him.

Without hesitation Leon brought his finger to his mouth and eagerly suckled his finger, as soon as your slick touched his tounge and soft and pathetic whine left his lips, you tasted like heaven and sin mixed together, he could have came right there at just taste you, he wanted more god he craved more but it was far too risky, he wanted to watch you come undone on his tongue moaning his name in ecstasy as you wither under him and tug at his head.

Thinking for a second Leon moved to the bottom of your bed and carefully hooked his fingers into the side of your panties and carefully tugged then down your legs, keeping an eye on you in case you woke up, but luckily he pulled then down your smooth legs with ease, smiling at his small victory he leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on your leg as a small thank you for your little gift.

Once your panties were off he brought them to his nose and inhaled deeply, your sweet scent filling his nose causing his eyes to roll back as a deep primal growl rumbled in his chest, you were so innocent and so clueless, knowing he needed to go soon Leon got off your bed and pulled your blanket up over your shoulder and placed a gentle kiss on your forehead.

“Goodnight my sweet doll, I’ll see you again real soon, love you.” Leon whispered before he gave your head another kiss before grabbing his Ghostface mask off your bedside table and placed it over his head, he put your black panties in his pocket for safe keeping before he carefully walked out of your bedroom, giving you once last loving glance Leon smiled underneath his mask before slipping out of your bedroom and closing the door softly behind him.

After leaving your apartment Leon headed back to his own, his heart was full after seeing you he could rest easy knowing you were happy, safe and sound. When he arrived back at the shared frat house he could see drunk and passed out people everywhere, with a tried sigh Leon walked over the limp bodies before he headed to the frat house basement.

It was where most of the alcohol was keep and it had a finger print code which only Chris or Leon could access it so nothing would ever go missing, but it was also a great place to find things in plain sight, after Leon had done some work on the room, he made it sound proof and is currently covered in tarps.

Once inside the small room Leon tugged off his Ghostface mask while walking over to his computer, hitting the space bar the computer jumped to life as Leon sat down in his desk chair, logging in Leon waited for the computer to boot up before a series of camera screen’s filled the wide screen.

All the screen’s where of different angles of your apartment such as your bedroom, bathroom, living room and kitchen, spare bedroom, this was how Leon keep you safe at all times, reaching into his pocket he pulled back out your pair of black lacy panties, Leon’s blue eyes then flickered to the screen that was showing you sleeping peacefully in your bed, a happy smile on your face.

“Soon doll, you will be all mine, and I will be all yours for now and forever until death do us part.” Leon says with a crazed lovesick smile, there were even small hearts in his eyes before he buried his face in your panties and inhaled deeply again, this time now muffling his groans as your sweet scent filled up all his senses.

*The Following Morning.*

Y/n’s POV

You woke up the following morning well rested and refreshed for the first time in a long time, Oero had woken you up with soft meows for food, you gave her furry head a soft kiss before you stretched your arms over your head, causing you to make a soft whining noise as your back and shoulders popped back into place, running your fingers through your hair to move it out of your face a thought sudden occurred to you.

Reaching under your blanket you noised your panties were gone and you were sure you went to bed with them on. “odd, I must of kicked them off when I was asleep.” You thought before getting out of bed and doing your morning routine, but something in the back of your head was telling you something was wrong.

But you pushed that thought to the back of your head, today you decided since you had no classes and no work you where just going to laze around home, play with Oero for a bit maybe go out and get some lunch with the girls if they weren’t too hungover but you didn’t know yet, it was rare when you had free whole days like this so you were going to savour every moment of today.

After showering and putting some comfortable clothing on, you went to feed Oero and give her a morning cuddle before grabbing your phone and looking at the group chat, there were heaps of pictures from the party some of them doing shots, other pictures of the girls dancing and even some of Leon pouting which made you laugh, he had gone all out this year with his Ghostface Halloween costume even having fake blood on his mask and knife.

But even the knife looked real but you knew it was a prop it was the one he used every year. You hearted most of the pictures before your phone started to ring, it was your father you answered immediately wondering what he could need this early in the morning.

“Hey dad what’s up.” You say as you flopped onto the couch in your living room, you hoped this was a happy call, but you knew him calling you during his work hours wasn’t a good sign, it was either something really important or he needed your help with something. . “Hi honey, are you free this morning?” he asked, something was off with his tone, it sounded more formal almost like he was using his police chief voice. “Yeah I am free this morning, is something wrong?” you asked him suddenly becoming uneasy as a wave of anxiety rushed over you on why your dad was now calling you.

“Could you please come to the station, I need to ask you a few question.” Your dad said and you nodded your head. “yeah I’ll be there in 20.” You say to him, after saying goodbye and went and got dressed in some comfortable clothing before you grabbed your bag and gave Oero a goodbye kiss and headed out of your dorm and headed to the police station that was in town.

There was a knot forming in your stomach, what could your father possibly be needed to ask you that he couldn’t do over the phone, the feeling made you feel uneasy and anxious as you got on the public bus and headed into town.

Once the Raccoon city police station, the friendly and polite receptionist gave you a warm greeting and asked you how your morning was going, you said it was going okay and then asked her about her morning to be polite, she said her morning had been slow but her husband had brought her in coffee and breakfast before going into work which you thought was really sweet, after your small chat she told you go wait in the waiting room and that your father would be with you soon, you have her a thank you and headed to the waiting room for your father to come and get you, luckily you only needed to wait a couple of minutes before you saw the familiar dark greying hair of your father, he gave you a small smile as he came over and pulled you into a hug. “Dad what’s going on?” you asked him as your head rested on his shoulder.

“Not here kiddo.” Your father says before he guiding you a small but more private room, it was a small interview room with a two-way mirror and camera to record everything and a table and set of chairs in the middle of the room, there was even a hook in the table that would hold a person in handcuffs to the table, you could also see a file on the table, now your anxiety was through the roof, why had your father asked you to come here so early in the morning. “Dad what’s going on?” you asked him more firmly now; you wanted an answer.

“Well honey you know the case I have been working on?” your father started, and you nodded your head, it had been dubbed the Ghostface murders because of the mask they are assuming the killer wears when he kills his victims, you knew your father was following every lead that he could, but even in a small town leads can dry up or go cold very quickly or lead to nowhere.

You knew it was weighing a lot on your father because all he wanted to do was bring closure to the families and all those involved, to make everybody in this town feel safe again. “yeah but what has this got to do with me.” You asked him not a little confused, why he is asking you this question, does he think you have something to do with the murders?.

“Well, when I was following some leads, I started to notice a common theme.” He started before opening the folder and showed you a range of pictures, they where of you talking to each of the victims, some of you walking to class together, or hanging out or even at parties. “you think I did it?” you asked your father shocked that he would ever think such a thing, but he quickly shock his head. “no honey but I can’t ignore the facts that you are a common theme, that you seem to be connected to each victim.” You father says trying to ease your worries, but it only made them worse.

“I wouldn’t hurt anybody.” You say to your father, and he nods his head and places his hand on yours giving it a small squeeze. “I know Hun and I believe you, but until I figure out who is behind all of this and have them behind bars I don’t want you to be alone.” Your father says causing you to look at him. “What are proposing.” You asked him, you really didn’t want a 24-hour bodyguard it would get on your nerve and would make you feel like you are being watched.

“Maybe you could get a friend to stay over, what about one of the girls or maybe Leon? I just don’t want you staying in that dorm alone with that nutjob loose.” Your father said as he looked at you concerned. You didn’t want him to worry, and you knew either one of the girls or Leon would be okay to come and stay, you just hoped this wouldn’t be a permanent thing.

“I’ll talk to either one of the girls or Leon today.” You says trying to ease his stress, he gave you a smile before pulling you into a hug. “I just don’t want anything to happen to you sweetheart, I couldn’t live with myself if you ever got hurt.” Your father mumbles as he gave you a soft squeeze around your shoulders, you nodded your head and hugged him back, you knew if your father was the police chief then you would be safe no matter what and that put you at ease a little bit.

After spending the morning with your father and answering his questions as honestly as possible and him giving you a few lessons on self-defense and giving you your own pepper spray and showing you how to use it, you had texted Leon if he could come and pick you up, you didn’t feel like going on the bus after a very emotional packed morning, as you waited outside you heard the familiar rumble of Leon’s car before he turned around the corner and came up to the curb.

“Morning princess.” Leon says with a usual cheeky smile, you muster up a weak smile as you got into the front seat and did your seatbelt up. “Morning Lee.” You say as you relaxed back into the seat, it was comfortable and there was a soft melody of music playing in the car.

“You okay, you sound down?” Leon asked as he pulled out onto the road, you nodded your head as you closed your eyes, even though you were at the police station for a few hours you felt drained. “Yeah just a busy morning.” You tell him as you gave him a small smile, but you knew Leon wasn’t going to believe you.

“How about we go away to my parents lake cabin for the weekend?”  Leon suggests knowing it would cheer you up, maybe getting out of town for the weekend would be a good idea you loved going to his parents cabin, you both used to go there a lot as children, you always dreamed of living there and you could use the distraction.

“Okay I’ll drop you off at home so you can pack, and I’ll came back over in a few hours.” Leon says and you nodded your head, you would have to pack everything you would need such as clothing chargers, laptop for classes and makeup and medication as well as get Oero’s traveling crate, because you knew you couldn’t leave her home alone for a weekend and plus you knew Leon liked having her around and wouldn’t mind if she came on the trip. You were excited for this little weekend getaway, but what you didn’t know was you wouldn’t be leaving this weekend getaway….

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Part Two: A Mouse Caught In The Monsters Trap.

When you arrived at the Kennedy lake house you felt a wave of nostalgia wash over you, the cabin looked to be in perfect shape, it was two stories and had a balcony that was in front of the master bedroom, there was a doc above the water, on the deck was a hot pool and a BBQ, the memories you had here warmed your heart you almost felt as if you were in your own little paradise.

“its just like a remember.” You said as you closed your car door, Leon had gotten out as well and walked over to you. “I come here every couple of weeks and clean up and maintain the property.” Leon spoke as he looked down at you.

“you did a great job.” You say causing him to smile and even the tips of his ears to go slightly red. “How about you go looking around while I get the bags inside.” Leon suggested and before you could argue and say you wanted to help him, he had shooed you away to go and explore your only little piece of paradise, to which you just playfully rolled your eyes and left to start on a little adventure.

There were flowers blooming and ducks swimming in the lake, the sound of the wind rustling through the tree’s, you remembered playing hide and seek with Leon when you where younger around the forest that surrounded the back of the house, you had always seem to find you while you on the other hand could never find him.

His parents always used to call him your shadow because he followed you around like one, you thought maybe like a puppy, but he didn’t care what you called him, but as you grew up you found comfort in knowing Leon would always be there for you no matter what. You found a comfortable spot near the lake and sat down and just soaked in the peace and quiet, no loud cars or traffic, no daily life stresses, even the stress about the morning you had with your father started to melt away, even if you were only staying here for the weekend you really did wish you could stay here forever.

*Later That Night.*

Leon was preparing dinner in the kitchen while you where watching him from the couch, Oreo was happily sleeping on your lap as you gentle petted her. “So, what is on the menu tonight chef Kennedy.” You say with cheeky tone as you watched Leon prepare what looked a tomato sauce and some pasta, he was wearing a cute little apron and had clipped back his bangs to not let them fall in front of his face as he focusing.

“Well, I was thinking pasta and chicken tonight, since I wasn’t able to get a lot of groceries today, but I will go into town tomorrow and get some.” Leon says giving you a smile as he was tasting the sauce off a spoon then adding in some extra pepper, Leon’s mother had taught him how to cook ad he soaked that information up like a sponge, you always enjoyed Leon’s cooking. You took a sip of your wine, it was a white wine and tasted of grapes and expensive, you weren’t really a wine drinker, but this was delicious.

“Can’t wait.” You say with a grin after you swallowed your mouthful of drink, placing your glass down you carefully picked Oero up and placed her on a cushion on the couch before getting up and going over to you phone that was connected to the speaker, unlocking your phone you decided to put on some music to set a cozy vibe, you could see Leon smirking as he leaned against the counter as he waited for the sauce to simmer. You picked a soft melody.

“Dance with me.” You asked Leon as you held your hand out, he playfully rolled his eyes before taking off his apron and walking over to you. “You know I have two left feet.” He tells you as he takes your hand and gave you a little twirl. “then I’ll teach you.” You say with a little giggle as you intertwined your fingers together and gently swayed around the living room.

“see your dancing.” You smile at him as you danced around slightly to the music. “only with your help.” Leon tries to brush you off before he gave you another twirl expect this time you decided to wrap your arms around his neck, while his hands went around your waist.

“Thanks for today.” You say as you looked up at him he looked down at you gave you a small smile. “you’re welcome, I’m just happy I could make you smile again.” Leon says causing a small blush to colour your cheeks, and this caused him to grin now. “you’re such a sap.” You say with a laugh as you both were still gently swaying to the music. “Only for you doll.” He says in a cheeky tone that makes you playfully roll your eyes but there was a smile on your face as you laughed at his dumb joke.

But as you slowly stopped laughing you looked into his blue eyes, and for the first time you felt your heart racing in your chest and before you knew it you softly kissed him, but as soon as you realized what you were doing you went eyes and quickly pulled away. “I’m so sorry.” You quickly apologized for your actions you couldn’t believe you had just done that, it must be the wine making you feel bolder than you usually are. But when you looked at Leon he didn’t look angry but a little surprised.

“Don’t be sorry Y/n.” Leon say clearing his throat before his hand gently landed on your face and he carefully pulled your face back to his and reconnected your lips in a soft and sweet kiss, you could still taste the tanginess of the tomato sauce he had tasted before, you slowly and hesitantly kissed him back but as you did you felt him pull you closer, this felt different from any kiss you had experience with a guy before, maybe it was because it was your best friend, but something about this felt right.

As your eyes fluttered closed Leon picked you up with ease, your legs wrapping around his waist as he started making his way upstairs to the master bedroom. Once inside the bedroom Leon kicked the door closed and gently tossed you onto the bed, a soft giggle leave your lips as you watched him walk over to you both were breathing heavily.

“You sure this is a good idea?” he asked you as he hovered over you, his arms either side of your head you could see his muscles through his shirt and it was making you wet, you knew this was either a really good idea or a really bad idea but at this moment your brain is clouded with lust making you not thing straight.

“You sure this is a good idea?” he asked you as he hovered over you, his arms either side of your head you could see his muscles through his shirt, he reached one hand up and moved some hair out of your face making your heart flutter slightly at the gentle gesture.

“we can stop if this makes you feel uncomfortable and pretend this never happened.” Leon says softly, when you looked into his baby blue eyes you could see nothing but love and warmth, were you really going to ruin your friendship for one night of passion, “Fuck it.” You say before pulling him down to you and kissing him.

The kiss was soft and sweet at first but slowly it grew more needy and desperate, Leon had tugged off his shirt and threw it somewhere in the room, you couldn’t but help admire his body, he was fit but not overly fit, you bit your bottom lip before you leaned up and removed your own shirt and tossed it onto the ground, You could see Leon’s pupil’s get bigger when he saw more of your bare skin, it made you feel a little more confident in your appearance.

“God you are beautiful.” Leon mumbled causing a small blush to come onto your cheeks, nobody had ever called you beautiful in such an intimate moment, maybe hot, sexy or cute but never beautiful.

You where gently pressed back onto the bed as Leon started to gently kiss your neck and his hand trailed down your body, softy squeezing your hips and your thighs, you felt as if your body was on fire with the heat the was coursing through your veins, As Leon kissed down your neck he unclipped your bra and carefully tugged it off before taking one of your nipple into his mouth and started a suckle ever so slightly, this caused you to slightly buck your hips as your breath hitched, his finger softly teased your other nipple and you squeezed your thighs together as you felt yourself becoming wet. “Leon.” You softly moan his name, causing him to look up at you with an almost love drunk look and he had barley done anything, only teasing the small bud with his mouth until it hardened into peaks. “stop teasing me.” You say with an embarrassing whine, a blush colors your cheeks.

Leon nodded his head before his lips started to travel lower until they got to the top of your shorts, slowly unbutton them and took then off and placed gentle kisses down your hips and lightly nipping at the thin waistband of your panties, you tried to close your legs but Leon just softly chuckled and placed soft kisses on your thighs, down your knees and legs before he gently pulled them open and placed himself between your legs.

You couldn’t believe you were actually going to do this, you were really going to sleep with your best friend, you didn’t know if it was the alcohol or that you might actually have feelings for Leon, he was always there when you needed him no matter the time of day or night, he always protected you and made you feel safe and cared for, maybe the reason it never worked out with anybody was because you were meant to be with Leon, but your thoughts are too cut off when you feel Leon’s kissing and gently biting your inner thigh.

“Distracted Doll?” Leon asks there is a small tease in his voice, but you can also hear the warmth and affection. “Sorry.” You mumble as you looked down at him, his eyes were watching you as if he was watching your ever reaction, Leon just chuckled softly against your inner thigh as he pulled his mouth away with a soft pop, there were a few love bites and bite marks on your inner thigh.

“Can I?” Leon asks as his eyes drift down to your panties which you knew soaked by now you could feel yourself clenching around nothing. You nodded your head knowing if you spoke it would probley come out in a pant more then words.

With your consent and permission Leon eagerly pulled your panties down your smooth legs and balled them up in his hand before bringing them to his nose and inhaling deeply, his eyes almost rolling back as your scent filled his senses, you had never seen something so erotic and sensual before, and you could see him hardening in his sweatpants and you bit your lip.

Soon he tossed your panties onto the ground with the rest of your clothes and looked at your pussy with a hungry daze as he licked his lips.

“Your already so wet princess.” Leon says before he reaches out and runs a single finger down from your pubic area, circles it around your clit earning him a few moans before sliding down to your entrance and slightly dipping inside to collect some slick before he brought the finger up to his mouth and cleaned his finger and in that moment you thought he came just from the taste of you.

Soon Leon spread your thighs widely apart then ducked his head between them before dragging his tongue along your slit in a long slow lick groaning at the taste before he started to devour you like a starving man and you were his first ever meal.

“Gonna make you feel so good doll, gonna make you mine.” Leon promised as teased your clit with his tongue as his eyes looked up at you though his lashes, sweet moans were falling from your lips like a song, no man had ever made you feel this good before, you could almost feel your eyes rolling to the back of your eyes and your toes curling, you felt Leon react two fingers up and used them to spread you even more, the blush on your face was burning bright red, your hands where gripping the blanket under you, all you could focus on was the pleasure Leon was bring you at this moment, it was almost enough to make you see stars.

“Fuck Leon.” You cried out as you felt your thighs begin to tremble around his head, you knew you weren’t going to last long under his skillful tongue, he didn’t even need to use his fingers, you feel Leon grinning against your pussy at the sounds you were making and how your body as reacting to his touch, looking down you could see the look of satisfaction evident in his expression, but soon he redoubled his effort with much more enthusiasm and lust.

“Your getting close Y/n aren’t you, cum for me please.” Leon softly pleaded against your pussy, you could see his face was coated in your slick and juices, and when Leon gently nibbled on your clit that sent you over the edge and you came with a loud cry as your thighs trembled around his head. As you came down from your high you could hear Leon’s softly slurping against you before you gently pushed his head away since you were now a little sensitive.

When Leon pulled away he was grinning like a Cheshire cat as he licked his lips, you felt your cheeks heat p but Leon just gave you a small wink. “Do you want to keep going?” he asked as he ran his fingers though his sweaty blonde hair. You nodded your head and went to touch his sweatpants before he grabbed your wrists.

“tonight is about you not me, we can leave that for next time.” Leon says making you pout slightly you wanted to make him feel as good as he made you feel before, but you nod your head and wonder what he has planned next.

“do you want to top, or do you want me too?” Leon asked as he slipped his sweatpants off, you could see the wet patch on his underwear, you thought for a second. “I’ll top.” You say before moving so Leon can lay down on the bed, it had been a while since you last topped somebody, Leon gave you a smile before laying down on the bed and help guide you to his lap, soon Leon reached over to the bedside table to grab a condom, but you decided to stop him, Leon looked at you wide eyed for a few seconds.

“Are you sure?” he asked you and you nodded. “I’m on the pill and my period isn’t due until next month.” You say with a small blush, you could also see a small blush on Leon’s face as well. “Only if your sure.” He says and you nod your head before you reached down and pushed his underwear down slightly before taking out his harden cock.

It was heavy in your hand and hot, precum was oozing from the head as it twitched ever so slightly, moving your hips back you line it up with your entrance before slowly sinking down, his cock stretching you slightly causing soft and grunts to leave both of your lips.

“So, fucking tight.” Leon cursed and you tried not to clench around him, but it just felt too good, Leon’s hand came up to your hips, helping to steady you and guide your movements on his lap, his eyes were dark with lust and adoration as his eyes roamed your figure as you bounced on him. “Oh y/n.” Leon moaned your name as his eyes fluttered shut and you could feel his hands slightly tighten on your hips.

You were moaning as well heavy pants and soft whines of pleasure were leaving your lips as you rode him, you felt as if you were on cloud nine, moving forward you placed your hands on his chest to steady yourself before you started to bounce slightly harder, at this pace he was perfectly hitting your sweet spot causing your toes to curl and soft squeals of delight to leave your lips, you could feel Leon start to move his hips in time with yours and it was making your eyes almost roll to the back of your head.

“Keeping moving for me sweetheart.” Leon grunts out as your body started to tremble again, you felt as if your brain was melting and all your throughs were getting hazy, all you could focus on was the pleasure Leon was giving you and you were giving him, in this moment it felt as if you two were the only people in the world.

“Leon.” You moaned out his name, you knew you were close, you could feel the knot forming in your stomach, it was getting tighter and tighter, Leon’s eyes opened, and he looked up at you, his body was covered in a thin layer of sweat, his blonde hair was sticking to his forehead, just as your body was sweaty and you could feel your hair sticking to your body.

“Say your mine.” Leon groaned against you, his grip on your hips was almost bruising but the mix of pain and pleasure was addiction, and at the moment you didn’t think about what you were saying or the consequences it would have later on. “I-I.” you tried to say but was cut off when a moan left your lips. “say your mine and then you can cum.” Leon says as he started to thrust up into you causing squeals to leave your lips.

“I’m yours.” You cry out as your whole body was trembling. “good girl, now cum for me.” Leon groaned out and as if you had been hit with a title wave you came with a choked by as you arched your back, soon Leon’s followed with a cry of your name, and you could feel him filling you up.

As the hazy pleasure subsided you fell onto Leon with a soft thud, you both were breathing heavily and covered in sweat, but there was no doubt you were both satisfied. When the trembling finally stopped Leon turned you over and laid you on the other side of the bed, before slowly pulled out with a wet pop. Now you were more than a little sensitive. “I’ll go get a warm cloth from the bathroom to clean the mess up.” Leon says and you nod your head. “yeah that might be a good idea because my legs are like jelly.” You say causing you both to laugh as Leon got out of bed and headed to the bathroom, you watched his bare butt disappear before you relaxed into the bed. For the first time in a long time, you felt really good maybe this would be the start of something good.

*The Following Morning*

You could feel the morning sun gently warm your body as you slowly woke up from your peaceful slumber, you ran your fingers through your hair before you spotted a note on your bedside table. “Gone to get groceries and other things, I’ll be back early this afternoon, if you need anything text me. – Leon.” The note say and there was even a few x’s on the note, it was sweet.

Placing the note down you couldn’t help the smile that came onto your face as you remembered last night, nobody had ever touched you like that, it was almost as if Leon knew your body like the back of his hand.

Running your fingers though your messy hair you decided to get out of bed, and grabbed one of Leon’s shirts off the floor and slipped it on as you headed to the kitchen downstairs to feed Oreo and make your morning coffee, Oero followed closely behind you and rubbed herself on your legs as if she was saying good morning to you, quickly you got her some food and water before turning on the kettle and grabbing your phone to see what’s going on the group chat, only to see nothing.

“odd.” You thought, the group chat is always lively, and you hadn’t seen any new messages on it since yesterday, usually Chris is talking about something or Claire and Jill are sending meme’s to each other but there was nothing, suddenly that feeling of unease from yesterday washed over you again, something just isn’t right but you can’t seem to put your finger on it, and slowly you started to doubt if coming on this little vacation with Leon was such a good idea.

Later On, In the Day Leon has still yet to return to the Lakehouse, but you have been keeping yourself entertained by reading some books you found, playing with Oreo and watching some TV, it was an oddly quiet morning and midafternoon, you did check your phone every now and then to see if there was anything new in the group chat but there was nothing, you went to go and text Claire to see if something had happened but to your shock his number was gone from your phone, along with most of your contacts.

“What the hell.” You thought as you tried to find the rest of your contacts but all you could see was Leon’s number and a few other numbers. Maybe your phone was malfunctioning, but it has never done this before you had only got this phone a couple months ago, sighing softly you tossed your phone onto the couch, just wondering what the hell was going on.

When Leon finally returned back you helped him get the shopping out of the trunk of his car, he had brought a lot of food for both you and Oreo, some toys for your kitty and even some roses for you that made your heart skip a beat, but it still didn’t cover the unease you felt in the pit of your stomach. “Leon do you know anything about the contacts on my phone going missing?” you asked him as you were grabbing the last bags of shopping out of the trunk. “No idea princess.” Leon says as he takes the bags from you, but as he did something in his trunk caught your eye, it as a duffle bag, you didn’t know why but your stomach was tell you to not open it.

“maybe you should get a new phone?” Leon suggests as he closes the trunk to his car, snapping you out of your thoughts you have him an awkward laugh at his suggestion. “Maybe.” You say before you headed inside, for some reason your head was screaming at you to look in the duffle bag were as your stomach was telling you not too.

*Later that afternoon.*

While Leon was busy going for a swim in the lake, you took this opportunity to go into the trunk of his car, you were just hoping it was just full of clothing and that you where just overthinking things, carefully you opened up the car trunk and grabbed the duffle bag, it was heavy and slowly you undid the zipper, and you saw Leon’s bloody Halloween Ghostface costume mask and blade. “I’m overthinking it.” You say as you took a little at the mask, but it only took a few seconds for you to realise that it wasn’t fact blood on his mask but real blood.

“Oh my god.” You say as the realization hit you causing you to drop the mask, but suddenly you felt a presence behind you, the one that used to bring you happiness and safety now made you feel fear and ice cold. “Well, aren’t you a curious little doll.” Leon’s voice spoke but his voice was deeper than it usually is, a soft squeak left your lips. “It’s you, you’re the Ghostface Murderer.” You managed to say as your body begins to tremble in fear, you where here alone with a murderer, what was his plan for you, was he playing you this whole time.

“Guilty, but you have trust me I did this to protect you, those men would have hurt you and used you but not me.” Leon says before turning you around and cupping your cheek in his hand, his callous thumb running over the soft flesh, you were lost for words your best friend a man you trusted was a killer, you had slept with a killer, nausea started to fill your stomach, and you felt as if you wanted to vomit. “Your delusional, how could you hurt innocent people Leon.” You choked out as you pushed his hand away harshly. “they were not innocent.” Leon says with a growl under his breath, his face going hard for a second.

“You’re a monster.” You snapped at him as you tried to leave, but he grabbed your wrist and pulled you to him. “no, I’m not, I’m just protecting the woman I love even if she doesn’t see it.” Leon says as he tightens his grip on your wrist. “Leon this isn’t love, this is obsession, this isn’t healthy.” You say to him before whimpering slightly at the grip on your wrist.

“You are not leaving me.” Leon tell you firmly before he pulls you to him and wraps his arms around you. “you promised to be my wife remember when we where younger, I plan on keeping you to that promise.” Leon says with a grin that made it felt as if you whole world had been shattered. You were trapped here with a murderer that was obessed with you.

It had been 2 weeks since you had gone missing, the Lakehouse that once held happy memories of you and your childhood best friend Leon, was now your prison that you couldn’t escape no matter how hard you tried, you sat on the couch curled up into a ball as you petted Oero you were glad Leon hasn’t hurt her, you knew you needed to get out of here but you knew it wasn’t going to happen easily Leon barley left you alone and always seemed to know where you were.

Over the months Leon’s confessed to everything from hiding camera’s in your house to the murders and even to blocking all the contacts on your phone. He was no longer the man you knew and cared about, The sweet and loving Leon was gone and was replaced with a person you barley recognized.

“Honey I’m home.” Leon called out as he walked in front the front door holding some shopping bags, you weren’t aloud to go outside unless he was supervising you, but even when he wasn’t home you knew he was watching you from the camera’s that had been placed throughout the house.

You didn’t say anything, and this caused Leon to frown slightly, before he waked over to you and gently grabbed your chin in between his fingers and tugged your face to meet his. “I said honey I’m home.” He says in a sweet tone, but you knew it was anything but sweet. “Welcome home dear.” You say monotone as you looked at him.

Your eyes had lost there usual spark they used to have; it was almost like you had given up on life because how were you meant to live your life when your trapped in what felt like a prison. Leon smiled at you and gave your lips a soft kiss, you didn’t kiss back before he went over to his bags and pulled out what looked like a piece of paper.

“Look what I found today.” He says with what can only be described as a giddy smile and laugh before being opened the piece of paper, it was a missing person’s poster with your name and picture on it, there was even a reward on it if you were found.

When you first see the poster it made tears spring to your eyes, knowing you were never going to see your loved ones again, that they were out there looking for you hoping that you would come home safe and sound, but you weren’t you knew Leon wouldn’t let you go that easily, you gave up trying to reason with him when you spent the first week of your captivity trying to convince him to let you go and you wouldn’t tell anybody what happened and you wouldn’t report him to the police.

But all he said was why would he let you go, he loved you and knew with some time here and some tender love and care you would love him the same way he loved you he promised you. But all you felt was dread, hopelessness and sadness. You just hoped by some miracle somebody would either find you or come looking for you before it was too late.

*2 Weeks Later.*

A month had passed since Leon had kidnapped you, nobody had come looking for you and you had fully given up now, the only positive thing you had in your life right now was Oero, who happily purred against you and wouldn’t leave your side, it was almost like she knew something was wrong and didn’t want to leave you alone, Leon had gone out again you didn’t know for what this time, but you knew he would bring back another missing persons poster of yours and show you that your father was increasing the reward, it almost seemed like a game to him.

You were now Leon’s wife, not officially but he had put a wedding band on your finger, or more like forced it, he called you wifey and darling and all sorts of cute pet names that if it was anybody else would make you feel happiness or even warm and fuzzy, but all you feel is sickness and cold wash over you whenever he says your name or pet name he came up with.

It was late afternoon when you heard a car pull up, it seemed Leon was home but then you heard heavy footsteps and what sounded like multiple voices, did Leon bring back a guest? You thought as you suddenly went to hide. But soon you heard your name being called out. “Y/N!” Chris called out and you felt tears in your eyes, then you heard knocking on the door. “Y/n it’s me Claire can you open the door.” Claire sweet voice said, and you felt tears in your eyes, they had come for you ere finally going to be taken from this nightmare. “I can’t, Leon has the key to the door.” You choked out as you wiped the tears that were running down your cheeks.

“Are you okay, your not hurt?” you heard Luis causing more tears of joy to roll down your cheeks. “not besides a few bruises you say before you heard Chris’s voice again. “Y/n back away from the door, I’m going to boot it down.” Chris warns, you pick Oreo up and went and hid in front of the couch, encase some of the door pieces came flying, at first he wasn’t successful you could hear him cursing outside before he asked Luis and Carlos to help him and with the men’s combined weight on the door came flying open, the lock and deadbolt chain snapping in the process.

As the door swung open you stood up and looked at the group walked in, Claire had tears in her eyes as she ran towards you and hugged you tightly, as did Jill and even Ada, you hugged the girls tightly before you began to sob into there arms. “we finally found you.” Jill says cupping your cheeks in her hands, she used her thumb to wipe your tears that were running down your cheeks. “Yeah you did.” You say smiling before the girls moved away and now it was time the boys gave you a hug, Chris hugged you tightly almost like a bear, then it was Luis who cried a few tears and gave you a squeeze, Carlos gave you a hug and ruffled your hair he was glad to see you were alright.

But as happy of a reunion this was you knew you had limited time. “We have to get out of here, Leon he is the Ghostface murder.” You says and they all nod there heads. “We know Luis found his computer hide out in the frat house basement, that was how we found you we used the tracker in your bracelet.” Ada explained and you nodded and you kind of felt grateful you didn’t take it off.

“We will get her stuff, Claire can you and the others make sure Y/n gets in the car okay.” Chris asks knowing we don’t have a lot of time before Leon arrives. Claire nodded as she pulled away from you. “I’ll take her in my car.” Claire says giving Chris a nod before the boys started going around the house to get yours and Oero’s stuff.

“Oero come here girl.” You call out holding out your arms, Oero came running into your arms and did a small leap, you caught her swiftly before you were guided outside and towards Claire’s car, once inside the back you had Ada on one side of you with Jill on the other, Claire was in the front in the drivers seat. You were finally free from this hellish nightmare, but just as happiness started to fill your body you heard another car pulling in, it was one you were all too familiar with, a soft whimper left your lips as Leon stepped out of his car, his face was hard and cold as he saw the front door had been busted down.

“What the fuck do you think your doing.” Leon yelled when he saw Chris walking out with what looked like your bag of clothing. “getting Y/n away from you.” Chris says as he walked closer to Leon, he was taller and bigger then Leon, but you didn’t know what Leon was capable of and you didn’t want to find out. Leon let out a humorless laugh before he looked up at the older male, the look on his face was deranged and psychotic. “you really think I’m going to let you take her from me.” Leon says before pulling out a knife from his back pocket.

“CLAIRE GO NOW!!.” Chris yelled, she didn’t need to be told twice, she turned on the car and stepped on the gas and you guys went flying down the long dirt road, worry filled your body as you could see Chris and Leon fighting in the rearview mirror. “He will be okay, I promise you.” Jill tried to reassure you as she rubbed your shoulder, you didn’t want Chris to get hurt because of you he was just trying to save and protect you. You nodded your head trying to believe her words but in the back of your mind you could help but feel dread.

*4 Hours Later*

You girls were in a random hotel, Claire thought it would be best to hide out until they heard some news from the boys, you had showered and changed into some spare clothes that Claire had, while you were in the shower you finally got the ‘wedding ring’ Leon had forcibly put on your finger off, there was a little blood but nothing a band aid can’t fix.

Stepping out of the bathroom you saw Jill hang up her phone, Claire was watching TV while sitting on the end of the bed and you could see Ada was petting Oero who was peacefully sleeping on her lap. “That was Chris, Leon’s been arrested, and your dad is on his way to pick you up.” Jill says and for the first time in what felt like forever you felt relief wash over you, you tried to not cry again by taking some deep breaths but there was a massive smile on your face, you were finally going home.

Your father and the boys had turned up a couple hours later, there were more tears as your father embraced you and said you were never leaving his sight again, at this point you wouldn’t really mind that, you thanked all of your friends and gave them each a meaningful hug and promised to get a new cell phone and number so you could continue to talk on the group chat.

You made plans that you were going to move back in with your father just until your University year was over and maybe do some traveling with the girls, get out of raccoon city for a little bit and go and live your life, Knowing that Leon was now in the custody of the police and you would never see him again….

Y/n’s Epilogue.

It has been 2 years since the Ghostface murders and the incident with Leon, Y/n had been living her life to the fullest, she went traveling with the Jill, Ada and Claire all over the world, she had even dated a few people but nothing too serious, she had been going to therapy regularly to help with the nightmares and trauma she had faced with everything and slowly she was healing slowly but surely, and she was even dating somebody new but this person was a little more closer to home.

“and how are my two favourite girls this morning.” Chris says as he walks into the kitchen in just his boxers, Oero gave him a happy meow and rubbed her face on his arms while purring, she had really taken a liking to Chris and like to knead his chest or bicep. “Such a sweetheart.” You say biting back a smile as Chris wraps his arms around your waist and placing a soft kiss on your bare shoulder as you were wearing only one of his shirts and some shorts underneath.

“Only for you two.” Chris says making you playfully roll your eyes as you flipped a piece of bacon in the fry pan that was placed on the stove. “Let me.” Chris says before he picks you up with ease and places you on the counter and takes the tongs from your hand.

“please don’t burn it like last time.” You say with a playful tease and he just rolls his eyes pretending to be annoyed, never in your wildest dreams did you ever think you would be this happy after everything, but even Tho you might go though shit in life it does get better if you just give it time, you will be happy…

Leon’s Epilogue.

An older doctor walked into the sterile hospital room that was covered in drawings of a woman, somewhere drawing in pen or pencil while other drawings were done in blood, a young man laid on the bed staring up at the roof, his blue eyes were dull and lifeless as if all the life had been sucked out of them, there where bandages on his arms from either him attacking other doctors or harming himself, His name was Leon Kennedy.

His reason for being at Raccoon city asylum for the criminally insane was because he murdered men for the woman he loved. Y/n was her name, she was the most beautiful woman Leon had ever laid his eyes on, they had grown up together and Leon swore he would always protect her and love her, but after a tragic accident that left Leon all alone, he started to develop an unhealthy obsession with Y/n, this would end with deadly consequences.

“Good Morning Leon.” The doctor says as he closed the door behind him, he was constantly under the supervision of the doctors here. Leon didn’t even look at the doctor just constantly looking at the roof as if his thoughts were 1000’s of miles away. “Leon I want you to tell me about y/n.” the doctor said, and this caused a small reaction on the young man’s face, a smile on his lips as he thought of you, your smile, your laugh, the sound of your voice when you said his name. “She is the love of my life.” Leon says with a lovesick look in his eyes.

“She must be an amazing woman.” The doctor says happy he is finally having a conversation with the young man; Leon turns his head and looks at the door. “she is and I plan on making her mine once again.” Leon says as a deranged smile came onto his face, as he looked at the drawings on the wall. “I will have her again.” Leon laughs delusionally as the doctor backed out of the door and closed the door sealing it shut before letting out a sigh.

This man’s mind is broken and is beyond saving….

----------

©Ghosty-writes-23, 2024. all rights reserved. !I DO NOT! consent to translations or replications or reproduction of my work on any other social media platforms and or make AI Bots without my explict consent and permission.

[thisdreamplace]

for those who struggle

i recently got sent an anon message about frustrations surrounding the law, and how non-dualism hasn't made it any easier for them, but actually just more frustrating to the point where they're officially walking away from everything and wanting to just go back to live as they knew it before any of this.

the truth is that, oversimplification runs rampant in this community. as well as, hiding behind the realities of how difficult it all can be, because people are afraid of affirming that it's difficult or identifying with difficulty... but when we hide from this experience and try to come off as if it doesn't affect us, while simultaneously trying to give out advice, there tends to be more damage than good happening. the oversimplifying isn't the fault of anyone, as the truth is most of this is simple. but in actually living it, it tends to not be simple at all. the ego will fight till the very end to keep things the way they are, even when they hurt us. and that is worth being honest about.

when it comes to non-identification and indifference, this is not meant to be used to as yet another way to pretend something isn't happening or push down your feelings or gaslight yourself. i see these posts like, "just ignore the 3d and don't identify with it and you would have already have what you wanted" ..... this doesn't actually really help anyone, unless you're a person who strives on that kind of mentality. but i think a lot of people need a little more gentleness and realness, otherwise this journey wouldn't have been so difficult and painful. we'd all just get it overnight, but clearly, this community stays extremely active for a reason. because the million ways its already been explained still leaves so many confused and frustrated.

indifference is a daily practice, and it is NOT one that includes pretending something doesn't exist in exchange for getting what you want. it is actually, the extreme opposite. it's by acknowledging what's there... and allowing that to be what it is. the non-identification comes in from how you choose to see YOURSELF in relation to whatever that thing is. "this is painful, this sucks, i hate it... but that doesn't mean tomorrow won't be better for me. it doesn't mean my life is doomed..." etc etc etc. it's this very small flip within yourself, that actually leads to results. not trying to force yourself into believing you aren't even who you are when you've identified as yourself this entire life. remember that god's name is I AM, and literally nothing else.

and doing something to get something else is just... not it. it's time for you to truly want to feel better, regardless of anything else. that's why so much of this starts to get trickier than it needs to be.

non-identification is literally as simple as realizing... you are bound to no past, and you have the opportunity of every future you can possibly imagine. why ? because non-identification is literally just non-attachment. when you're not attached to this idea of who you were, of the struggles you used to face, you're able to allow in different experiences. and y'all... this as simple as being able to say to yourself, "i am allowed to experience something new" and don't let your fear of the unknown stop you from experiencing something new.

here's where it doesn't feel so simple though. how can you just stop identifying with this whole human self when the traumas of the past keep coming back to haunt you ? thats the thing. you don't just stop identifying with it. you let this be a process, a non-linear path to liberation. slowly, but surely, if you keep at it everyday, even when you feel you're only going backwards... one day you will realize how much more free you are. how much more easier it is to move into a new beautiful story for yourself, one that isn't contiminated by your past. but let today be today ! and whatever may come, let it come.

this is why just focusing on yourself is so helpful because if you're simply doing the best you can for yourself and your feeling state, the daily dramas are no longer your ruler.

the gag is that, the more you just do these small daily practices of sitting with yourself, choosing to not engage in the stories you used to identify with in the past, and allow new experiences to come to you... the more easy it gets, the more the truth of yourself begins to show itself on its own. you have to realize that the days are going to keep passing by anyway... so stop counting them, and just commit to yourself.

i also want to quickly note that so many seem to leave out the fact that behind all of this, within the pure nothingness that is also everything. behind our human identifications and all the things we have experienced in our lives, there is unconditional love. and when we actually begin to stop identifying so deeply with who we thought we are, we are lead right back to unconditional love. love in its purest form. so, use love as your guide when things get too difficult. it's the truest thing to who you really are.

you have to let allow yourself to experience the beautiful, despite how strange it may feel. because it's going to feel strange if you've never really experienced it before, and the ego is going to fight because even when it's good, the unknown is still strange and scary. and you never have to be perfect at this to get to experience the things you want, believe it or not. i know that i still have a long way to go on this journey, there may be much more time before i ever get to fully experience the promise in full, but that hasn't stopped me from experiencing the desires of my heart on a daily basis. that's because i used these simple things, these small little flips in how i chose to see life. even if the anxiety never went away, or it was a more difficult day full of tears... this is way more possible for you than you realize. if only you're willing to allow your life to be different than it's always been. just that small allowance, opens up all the doors.

xo dream 🕊

[jadeylovesmarvelxo]

You and Eddie take comfort in each other when his nightmares become hard to handle.

Comfort and fluffy, this is an 18+ blog so minors shoo! Idiots in love, jealous reader. Sleeping together for comfort (no sex)

❤️

It started two weeks after Eddie was discharged from hospital, he tried to settle at his and Wayne's new trailer but every time he closed his eyes he could hear the chittering of the demobats, feel them tearing at his skin.

He had died. Actually died. It was just for a minute but the memory still haunted him, he remembered how much pain he felt in what he was certain was his final moments on earth, all the regrets and things he wished he had been brave enough to do.

Miraculously he survived but the scars remained and the terror of what he went through would come back to haunt him in the deep of night.

He sought out solace in the one person besides Wayne who he felt safe with. You. Snuck into your bedroom through your window like he did when the two of you were kids.

Just one look at how broken Eddie looked, how terrified and ridden with anxiety and lack of sleep had you reaching out to him. You led him into bed and just held him, soothing away his fears and the frightening images in his head.

It was the first time in weeks that you both slept well. Eddie's death was a recurring nightmare of yours, so to have him beside you, sleeping soundly as you lay entwined together, soothed you.

It was meant to be just one night, but then Eddie would come to your house night after night, so much so that you had grown so used to his presence, would offer to stay with him at Wayne's some nights too.

Wayne never mentioned anything, all he knew was Eddie was sleeping better than he had in a while and that's all he cared about.

Of course he knew that his nephew and you were head over heels in love with each other but that was something the two of you had to figure out for yourselves...

Maybe with the tiniest nudges from him.

❤️

Eddie had a date, you were helping pick out an outfit while fighting the strangest feeling in the pit of your stomach. This gnawing ache that wouldn't go away at the thought of Eddie with this girl who was called Selene.

This was a good thing you reminded yourself, Eddie was finally getting back out there. His nightmares were practically non existent now, you two were closer than ever so Eddie dating someone wouldn't change that.

"So uh I guess you won't be coming over later? I mean if you and Selene hit it off then we obviously can't continue sleeping together"

Not in a sexual way, there hadn't been any sex but you couldn't deny there were times where you wanted to lean over and kiss Eddie, feel his plush lips against yours. Make a move.

Then you would dismiss the idea because Eddie only saw you as a friend, you missed any chance you could have had even if there was a slight possibility he felt the same way.

Eddie stares at you for a second, something flickering in his big brown eyes before he clears his throat and nods. "Yeah, I guess"

The confirmation makes your heart sink, you blink away tears and avoid his eyes, bury the sad feelings down and try to be happy that Eddie had met someone so nice.

Selene was a friend of Gareth's who had visited him a few days ago and immediately zeroed in on Eddie. She was gorgeous and super confident. Asked Eddie out there and then and when he told you the news looking slightly stunned, you had to pretend that hearing it didn't hurt like a bitch.

When Eddie heads off on the date you feel despondent and head up to your room, try to take your mind off what's happening.

Neither you or Eddie slept well that night.

...

Everything feels off, deep down Eddie knows why and it scares the hell out of him so he avoids thinking about the why and focuses on his second date with Selene.

Not being with you for the last two nights was quite frankly shit but he was trying to get past that. Trying to avoid the deeper meanings of why he was so angsty when he wasn't with you.

His avoidance of the subject didn't last long as Selene stayed over for one night for their second date. It felt strange having Selene with him and not you, it just didn't feel right.

His heart ached for you and he knew right then that this thing with Selene wouldn't work, they had only been on two dates but he knew she wasn't the one for him.

He knew that the only person he felt truly safe and that he could be himself with was you. His decision was solified during that night as he fell asleep while he and Selene were watching a film.

The nightmares came back. They weren't as bad as they usually were but they still caused him to yell out, screaming in panic.

Selene would barely even look at him, tried to comfort him but he only wanted comfort from you. It seemed like a relief to her as well when he said that he didn't think they would work out.

He drove to yours as soon as she left and seeing you was the only time in the last few days that he felt at peace.

"Weren't you hanging with Selene tonight?" You ask confused and he shakes his head.

"Nah princess, we aren't going to see each other anymore. Anyway I brought snacks and a movie if you're interested" smiling and feeling strangely elated that he's here with you and him and Selene are no more, you invite him in.

When you fall asleep in his arms later that night he watches you for a few seconds, you fit so perfectly with him. He felt content and that he could stay in this moment forever.

Jesus h Christ he was being corny as shit but he guesses that's what happened when you were in love.

Wait. His eyes widen and he almost startles you awake as he sits upright. He was in love with you?

You whimper from the loss of contact and mumble reaching out for Eddie's embrace.

In that moment Eddie knows he's a goner for you. If only he was brave enough to tell you. He had faced down hoards of demobats and survived, he was a badass if he was being honest.

But this? Being totally vulnerable and admitting he was in love for the first time, not puppy love or a dumb crush or fling. He was really truly in love with you and it was terrifying Eddie that he had to tell you.

And he would. He was Eddie the Brave after all.

But not tonight. Tonight he just wanted to hold you close and slip into a peaceful slumber with you snugly ensconced in his arms.

Tomorrow. He would tell you tomorrow.

💞

❤️🫶

[kat-thepoet]

Veins of Violet

Logan Howlett x Fem!Reader

Part 8: COMMITMENT

A/N: HIIII just want to thank everyone who has been showing support and love!!! its appreciated and I hope you guys are liking the story! OK BYEEE⭐️💜💜🩷🩵💛

Previous Chapters ☞ HERE ☜

7.3k words

The smell of pancakes and the sizzling sound of bacon pulled me from sleep, my eyes fluttering open to the soft light filtering through the curtains. The bed beside me was empty, though the imprint of Logan's body was still visible on the sheets. I was naked, the cool air brushing against my skin, and that's when the memories of last night came rushing back, overwhelming my senses.

My heart raced as I lay there, the weight of what had happened settling in. The intensity of our night together, the raw passion we had shared—had it been a mistake? A swirl of doubt crept into my mind. What if I had ruined everything between us? What if he had only wanted me in the heat of the moment, and now that it was over, he would return to his moody, distant self? The thought gnawed at me, making my chest tighten with fear.

But before I could spiral further into my thoughts, Logan walked in, carrying a plate in his hand. The sight of him caught me off guard—he looked different. His usual brooding expression was replaced by something lighter, almost unrecognizable. There was a softness in his eyes, a brightness that made my breath hitch.

"Good morning," he said, his voice warm and chipper, a tone I wasn't used to hearing from him. "How did you sleep?"

I blinked, still processing the change in him. "Good morning. I slept... fine. How did you sleep?" My voice was hesitant, unsure of how to navigate this new version of him as he handed me the plate, neatly arranged with two pieces of bacon and a perfectly golden pancake.

"I slept better than ever," he replied with a smile—an actual smile—that I had never seen on his face before. It was genuine, filled with a contentment that sent a wave of warmth through me.

I studied him for a moment, my heart still beating a little too fast. This was Logan, but different—a side of him I had only glimpsed before. And as I looked into his eyes, all the doubts and fears that had been swirling in my mind began to fade. He wasn't distant, he wasn't moody—he was here, fully present, and there was something in his gaze that told me last night hadn't been just a moment of passion for him. It had meant something more.

I bit my lip, a small smile tugging at the corners of my mouth as I looked down at the plate. "You made me breakfast?" I asked, a bit of surprise in my voice.

"Of course," he said, sitting on the edge of the bed, his hand brushing a strand of hair from my face. "After last night... I wanted to make sure you woke up to something good."

His touch was gentle, his eyes filled with a tenderness that made my heart swell. The Logan I knew was still there—the rough, gruff exterior—but now there was something else, something softer and more vulnerable that he was letting me see. And it wasn't just about the sex; it was about him opening up to me in a way he hadn't before.

"I... I was worried," I admitted, my voice barely more than a whisper. "I thought maybe... maybe you'd regret it."

Logan's expression softened even more, his hand still lingering on my cheek. "Regret it? Violet, I've wanted this for a long time. I was just too damn scared to admit it to myself. But after last night... there's no going back. I don't want to go back to pretending I don't feel anything."

His words sent a rush of relief through me, and I let out a breath I hadn't realized I was holding. "I don't want to go back either," I confessed, the last of my fears melting away."Good," he said, his voice firm but gentle. "Because you mean too much to me, Violet. I don't want to lose what we have. I want more."

The sincerity in his eyes, the way he was looking at me—it was everything I hadn't dared to hope for. I smiled, a real smile this time, as I leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. "I want more too, Logan."

As we pulled back, the world outside seemed to fade away, leaving only the two of us in this moment of quiet understanding. Whatever doubts or fears I had woken up with had disappeared, replaced by a certainty that we were on the same page—moving forward together. Logan gave me another smile, that rare, genuine one that made my heart flutter, and he picked up the fork, offering me the first bite of the pancake. "Here," he said with a grin, "you've got to try this. I make a mean pancake."

I laughed softly, feeling lighter than I had in a long time as I accepted the bite. "I can't wait to see what else you've got up your sleeve, Lo."

He chuckled, his hand resting on my knee as he watched me eat. "Oh, you have no idea, V." And with that, the day began—simple, easy, and filled with a warmth that came from knowing that whatever happened next, we were in this together. 

 ⭐︎⭐︎⭐︎⭐︎⭐︎⭐︎⭐︎⭐︎⭐︎⭐︎⭐︎⭐︎⭐︎⭐︎⭐︎⭐︎⭐︎⭐︎⭐︎⭐︎⭐︎⭐︎⭐︎⭐︎⭐︎⭐︎⭐︎⭐︎⭐︎⭐︎⭐︎⭐︎⭐︎⭐︎⭐︎

Today, we decided it was time to go bed shopping. After last night, it was clear that Logan's bed had seen its final days, but instead of just replacing it, I had a different idea. We barely fit in my bed as we slept, and the thought of having more space—of truly sharing a bed that was ours—felt right. So, we decided to buy a bigger bed for my room and move my current bed into Logan's room. It was a practical solution, but it also felt like a step forward in whatever this thing between us was becoming.

I hadn't been to Ikea in ages, and when I suggested it, Logan gave me a curious look, clearly unfamiliar with the place. I couldn't believe it. "I can't believe you've never been to Ikea. Do you not have them in your universe?" I teased as we got into the taxi, the city's hustle and bustle surrounding us.

He chuckled, that low, gravelly sound that always sent a warm shiver through me. "No, we do. I just never had the need to go into one." As he spoke, he draped his arm around my shoulder, pulling me close. It was such a simple gesture, but it made my heart skip a beat. The Logan I knew was tough, stoic, but these little moments of affection were starting to become more common, and I couldn't help but cherish them.

"Well, you're in for a treat," I said with a grin, leaning into his embrace. "Ikea is... an experience."He raised an eyebrow, clearly amused by my enthusiasm. "An experience, huh? Guess I'll have to see what all the fuss is about."

As the taxi wound its way through the streets, I found myself stealing glances at Logan, still trying to wrap my head around the changes between us. The man who had once been so closed off was now sitting beside me, casually holding me close, as if it was the most natural thing in the world. And maybe it was—maybe this was the new normal for us. The thought filled me with a warmth I hadn't expected, a quiet contentment that settled deep in my chest.

When we arrived at Ikea, Logan's eyes widened slightly at the sheer size of the place. "This place is huge," he muttered, his grip on my shoulder tightening just a bit, as if he wasn't quite sure what to expect.

I laughed softly, giving his hand a reassuring squeeze. "Yeah, it's pretty overwhelming at first, but don't worry—I'll guide you through it. Just stick with me, and you'll be fine."

As we stepped inside, I could see Logan's eyes taking in everything—the rows of furniture, the bright displays, the odd combination of practicality and chaos that defined Ikea. It was all so new to him, and it made me smile, watching him experience it for the first time. There was something almost endearing about the way he tried to act nonchalant, even as I could tell he was secretly intrigued.

"So, what's first?" he asked, glancing down at me with that half-smirk that always made my heart skip a beat.

"First, we need to find the bedroom section," I said, pulling him toward the signs that pointed us in the right direction. "And then, we'll find the perfect bed for us."

"Perfect bed, huh?" Logan echoed, a teasing note in his voice as he followed me through the winding aisles. "Does it come with guarantees? Like, won't break under... certain conditions?"

I felt my cheeks flush at the memory of last night, and I couldn't help but laugh. "Well, maybe we should get one with a sturdier frame this time," I teased back, nudging him with my elbow. "Just in case."

Logan chuckled, his eyes glinting with amusement. "Yeah, probably a good idea."

As we made our way through the showroom, I couldn't help but feel a sense of contentment. This—shopping for a bed together, teasing each other about last night—felt right. It wasn't just about the bed; it was about us, about building something together, even if it was just a piece of furniture. And as I looked up at Logan, who was now seriously inspecting a bed frame with a thoughtful expression, I realized that I was ready for this, for whatever came next.

We wandered through the maze of showrooms, testing out different beds and debating the merits of each one. But when we finally found the bed, I knew it was perfect. The frame was made of rich, dark wood with a sleek, modern design that fit perfectly with the aesthetic of my room. It had a sturdy build that immediately made me feel more confident that it could handle whatever Logan and I might throw at it.

The size was a significant upgrade too—a queen, much larger than the full-sized bed I had before. It felt right, like it could finally be the kind of bed where Logan and I could stretch out without feeling cramped. I could already picture it in my room, the centerpiece of a space that was evolving, just like our relationship.

"Looks like it's a winner," Logan said, running his hand over the smooth wood of the headboard. His approval brought a smile to my face; it felt like we were making this choice together, as a team.

With the bed frame decided, I turned my attention to the bedding. I couldn't resist picking out a new comforter—a soft, plush pink one that added a touch of warmth and femininity to the room. For the sheets, I went with a set of light blue ones adorned with delicate floral patterns. They were simple yet elegant, the perfect complement to the dark wood of the bed frame.

As we made our way to the checkout, the excitement of our purchase was momentarily overshadowed by a realization—how were we going to get all of this home? The bed frame and mattress were far too large to fit in a taxi, and there was no way we could carry them ourselves. I glanced at Logan, who was eyeing the flat-packed boxes with a slight frown. "I think we might have a problem," I said, biting my lip.

He nodded, his expression thoughtful. "Yeah, we didn't exactly think this through."

I pulled out my phone and quickly scrolled through my contacts until I found Wade's number. He was always up for a favor, especially if it involved something out of the ordinary. I hit the call button and waited as it rang.

"Hey, Wade," I said when he picked up. "Logan and I are at Ikea, and we kind of... underestimated the size of what we bought. We need a truck. Any chance you could help us out?"

There was a pause on the other end, followed by a laugh. "Ikea, huh? Never pegged you two as the domestic type. But sure, I'm in. I'll bring a rental truck your way. You owe me, though. This is prime time I could be spending doing absolutely nothing."

I couldn't help but smile. "Thanks, Wade. I owe you one."

After I hung up, I turned to Logan, who was watching me with a raised eyebrow. "Wade's on his way with a rental truck," I said, slipping my phone back into my pocket.

Logan grinned, a look of amusement in his eyes. "Never thought I'd be relying on Wade for a furniture move, but here we are."

I laughed, the tension from earlier dissolving into the comfortable banter that had always come so naturally between us. "I think we might be in for some commentary from him when he gets here," I said, already anticipating the jokes Wade would undoubtedly make about us buying a bed together.

Logan shrugged, clearly unbothered. "Let him say what he wants. We'll have our bed, and that's all that matters."

I smiled, feeling a warmth spread through me at his words. He was right—this was our bed, our space, and nothing else really mattered. We had found something that was perfect for us, and soon, we'd be taking it home to start this next chapter together. We didn't have to wait long before Wade pulled up in the rental truck, parking with a screech that turned heads. He hopped out with that familiar mischievous grin, clearly up to no good.

"Alright, lovebirds! What's the deal? You two finally got busy and broke the bed, huh?" Wade said, eyeing the boxes with a knowing smirk.

Logan's jaw tightened, his patience clearly wearing thin. "Wade, just shut the fuck up and open the door," he growled, though a hint of a smile tugged at his lips.

But Wade was relentless. "Oh, come on, Wolvie! You should be proud—you broke a bed! I bet it was like a scene out of '50 Shades of Wolverine.'" He winked at me. "Vi, need any aftercare? I've got magic hands."

"Wade," I sighed, rolling my eyes, "just open the truck, okay?"

Wade finally relented, though not without more commentary as we loaded the boxes. "Seriously, though, next time, take it easy on the furniture. Or, you know, call me for tips. I'm here to help!"

Logan shook his head, clearly done with Wade's antics. "Get in the truck before I lose my shit," he muttered, pulling me close as we climbed in.

As Wade drove off, still grinning, Logan leaned in and whispered, "Next time, we're taping his mouth shut."

I laughed, leaning into him. "Deal."

And with that, we headed home, Wade's endless jokes fading into the background as I focused on Logan's warmth beside me, feeling content in this new chapter together.

 ⭐︎⭐︎⭐︎⭐︎⭐︎⭐︎⭐︎⭐︎⭐︎⭐︎⭐︎⭐︎⭐︎⭐︎⭐︎⭐︎⭐︎⭐︎⭐︎⭐︎⭐︎⭐︎⭐︎⭐︎⭐︎⭐︎⭐︎⭐︎⭐︎⭐︎⭐︎⭐︎⭐︎⭐︎⭐︎

When we got home, I decided to make things easier by using my telekinesis to help the boys bring the furniture into the apartment. The boxes floated effortlessly through the air, guided by my hands, while Logan and Wade looked on—Wade, of course, with a mix of amusement and awe.

"Show off," Wade teased, though I could tell he was grateful not to have to carry anything heavy. 

Once everything was inside, Wade headed out to return the truck to one of his buddies, leaving Logan and me alone in the apartment. We exchanged a glance, a shared sense of accomplishment as we looked at the neatly stacked boxes.

"Ready to build a bed?" I asked, grinning at Logan. 

"Let's do it," he replied with a smirk.

We got to work, unpacking the bed frame and setting up the pieces in my room. It was a surprisingly smooth process, considering how easily we'd gotten distracted the last time we were in here. While Logan focused on assembling the frame, I slipped out to throw the new sheets into the wash, humming to myself as I imagined how everything would come together. By the time I returned, Logan had already made good progress. I jumped in to help, and soon enough, the frame was complete. We unboxed the mattress, letting it expand in the middle of the room while the sheets finished washing. It was all coming together, a tangible symbol of the new phase in our relationship.

As we stood back to admire our handiwork, I felt a sense of satisfaction settle over me. We had done this together, built something that was ours. And as simple as it might seem, it felt like a big step forward.

Logan caught my eye, a small smile playing on his lips. "Looks good," he said, his voice warm."Yeah," I agreed, smiling back. "It really does."

For lunch, we decided to do something a little different—a picnic. I guess you could call it our first date, though it was low-key enough that I wasn't entirely sure if it counted. Still, the idea of spending time with Logan, just the two of us, felt right.

I packed a simple meal: sandwiches, some fruit, water, and a few snacks. We left the apartment and strolled to the park just a block away. The weather was perfect—sunny with a slight breeze that cooled the air around us, making it one of those days where everything seemed just a little brighter.

When we arrived at the park, it was fairly quiet, with only a few people scattered around. We found a nice spot under a large tree, away from everyone else, where the shade provided a cool retreat from the sun. Logan spread out the blanket on the grass, smoothing it down before gesturing for me to sit.

As we settled down, I couldn't help but take a moment to appreciate the simplicity of it all. It wasn't extravagant, it wasn't planned down to the last detail—it was just us, enjoying each other's company in a way that felt so natural. 

"This is nice," Logan said, leaning back on his hands and glancing around the park."Yeah," I agreed, pulling out the food. "It really is."

We ate in comfortable silence for a while, just enjoying the peaceful surroundings. The breeze rustled the leaves above us, casting dappled shadows on the blanket, and the sun warmed our skin just enough to be soothing.

As I sat there, eating next to Logan and enjoying the peaceful moment, a thought crept into my mind. We'd been spending so much time together lately, getting closer in ways I hadn't anticipated, but there was still so much we hadn't talked about—things that felt important. We'd never really delved into the serious stuff, like where he came from and how his life here was different from the one he'd known before. 

As I chewed on my sandwich, my thoughts began to drift to those unspoken topics, wondering what his life had been like before he ended up in this world. But then, as if my mind was pulling up the memories on cue, Wade's voice crept in, reminding me of a conversation we'd had not too long ago.

It had been one of those moments when Wade was more serious than usual, a rare occurrence that made me pay attention. He'd mentioned Jean—a name that held weight in Logan's past, a name that was always spoken with a mix of reverence and regret. Wade had told me a little about her, enough to make me understand that she was someone who had meant a great deal to Logan, someone who had left a deep scar.

I hadn't pressed Logan about Jean, sensing that it was a wound still too raw to poke at. But now, sitting beside him in this quiet park, I couldn't help but wonder how much of his past was still affecting him, still holding him back from fully embracing whatever it was we were building together.

Did he think about her often? Did he compare me to her? The thoughts were unsettling, making me feel a mix of curiosity and uncertainty. Part of me wanted to ask, to open up that line of conversation and finally get the answers to the questions that had been lingering in the back of my mind. But another part of me hesitated, unsure if now was the right time—or if I was ready to hear what he might say.

Logan looked over at me, clearly trying to get my attention, but I was too lost in my thoughts to notice. The memories of what Wade had told me about Jean swirled in my mind, making it hard to focus on anything else. I could feel the weight of her name, the impact she must have had on Logan, and it gnawed at me in a way I hadn't expected.

Without fully realizing it, I found myself blurting out, "Who's Jean?"The question hung in the air between us, heavy and unplanned. Logan's relaxed demeanor shifted immediately, his eyes narrowing slightly as he studied me, the muscles in his jaw tightening.

"How do you know about her?" he asked, his voice low, laced with a mix of caution and surprise.

I hesitated, realizing that I had just stumbled into territory I wasn't sure I was ready to navigate. But there was no turning back now. I took a deep breath and decided to be honest. 

"The first night you spent at my apartment... when you stabbed me— you were having that nightmare—I woke you up because you were yelling her name."

Logan's expression darkened, and for a moment, I regretted bringing it up. His eyes, which had been soft and warm just minutes ago, were now clouded with a storm of emotions. He looked away, staring off into the distance as if trying to collect his thoughts, or maybe just trying to escape from them. I waited, unsure of what to say, unsure if I should have even asked. But I couldn't take it back now. I could only hope that he would trust me enough to open up, to let me in, even if it was just a little.

After what felt like an eternity, Logan finally spoke, his voice rough and tinged with pain. "Jean... she was someone important to me. Someone I cared about. But I couldn't save her. I tried, but... I failed."He paused, his fists clenching and unclenching as if he was grappling with memories too painful to fully confront. 

"I think about her every day. About what I could have done differently, about how things might have been if I'd been stronger, better. It's something that never really goes away."

I felt a pang of sadness for him, understanding now that the scars he carried weren't just physical—they ran much deeper, rooted in a loss that still haunted him. 

"Logan, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to—"

"No," he interrupted, his gaze shifting back to me, softer now, but still guarded.

 "It's okay. You deserve to know. I've been trying to move on, to let go of the past, but it's not easy. Jean... she was everything to me, and losing her... it broke something inside me."His words were raw, filled with a vulnerability that I wasn't sure he had ever shown anyone before. 

It made my heart ache for him, for the weight he carried alone for so long."I'm not her," I said quietly, not as a statement of fact, but as an acknowledgment of the difference between us, and the space she still occupied in his heart.

Logan shook his head slightly, his eyes meeting mine with a mix of sorrow and something else—something that felt like hope.

 "I know you're not. And that's a good thing, Violet. You're you. And that's... more than enough."His words, simple as they were, held a depth of emotion that made me realize how much this moment meant to him. 

It wasn't just about Jean—it was about the possibility of healing, of moving forward, and maybe even finding a way to open his heart again. I reached out, placing my hand on his, offering what little comfort I could. 

"You don't have to carry it all alone, Logan. I'm here. And whatever you're going through, whatever you need... I'm here." Logan's grip tightened on my hand, his eyes searching mine as if he was trying to find something—maybe reassurance, maybe just a reason to believe that he could finally let go of the past.  

"Thank you," he said softly, his voice barely more than a whisper.

 "Well, now that we talked about me, talk about you. Where you came from and tell me how you met that one guy Strucker." He asked me as he caressed my hand.

I took a deep breath, settling next to him, our hands still intertwined. "My grandparents died when I was 19. I was so mad at everyone because they died just like my parents, in a car crash. It wasn't fair; I felt like I was cursed, and I didn't know what to do. So, I started drinking. I didn't really like it at first, but the burn in my throat was addictive, and the feeling of getting drunk was overwhelming—but not as overwhelming as their death. So I kept drinking and doing nothing but partying."

I took another breath, the memories clearly painful. "I became a regular at this one pub in Oregon. After one night of drinking, I was walking home when I got kidnapped. That was Strucker. He experimented on me, and that's how I got my powers—by touching a gem that was in that scepter I showed you guys yesterday. I was with him for a year, training in hand-to-hand combat, and then I eventually started killing."

Tears welled up in my eyes as I recounted my story to Logan. He placed a comforting hand on my back, rubbing in gentle circles to calm me down.

"They used a machine to control me, and I couldn't do anything about it. I could feel their pain as I killed them, and it still haunts me when I'm alone with my thoughts. You know, I don't need to work, but it's the only thing that keeps my mind busy, or else I spiral. I eventually escaped and moved to a different state," I said, trying to keep my voice steady. 

"But they found me, so I moved again. And again, and again, and again... until I moved here. I've been here for about seven years now." I paused, taking a deep breath to steady myself. "After I didn't sense them trying to find me anymore, I got a job and an apartment. I tried to build a life, something normal."

I glanced at Logan, his eyes never leaving mine, offering silent support.

"Then I met Wade and Vanessa... and then I met you," I added, my voice softening as I looked into his eyes, feeling a mix of gratitude and vulnerability.

In that moment, he gently cupped my face, his touch warm and comforting. Without a word, he leaned in and pressed his lips softly against mine. It was a tender, reassuring kiss that spoke of unspoken promises. When he pulled back, there was a small, genuine smile on his face.

"I'm never going to let anyone hurt you again. Never," he said, his voice firm but filled with a quiet intensity that made my heart swell.

I looked at him, feeling a deep sense of safety and comfort that I hadn't felt in a long time. Without saying anything, I snuggled up next to him, resting my head against his chest. We sat there in silence, the weight of our shared pasts easing as we simply held each other, finding solace in the quiet connection between us.

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As Logan was in the shower, I heard a quick knock at the door—a knock I immediately recognized. Without hesitation, I walked over and opened it, already knowing who would be on the other side.

"Hi, Wade," I greeted him with a smile.

Wade stood there, a rare serious expression on his face, which was unusual enough to catch my attention. "Hey, can we talk?" he asked, his tone more subdued than usual.

"Sure, come in," I said, stepping aside to let him enter.

We moved over to the couch, and as we sat down, I couldn't help but notice the way he was fidgeting, clearly anxious about something. His usual carefree demeanor was replaced with a look of genuine concern, which only made me more curious.

"What is it?" I asked, leaning in slightly, trying to read his expression.

Wade took a deep breath, his eyes meeting mine for a brief moment before he blurted out, "I'm going to propose to Vanessa."

For a second, I just stared at him, processing his words. But then, the realization hit me, and I couldn't contain my excitement. I jumped up from the couch and threw my arms around him in a tight hug. "Oh my God, Wade! I'm so happy for you!"

Wade chuckled, a bit of his usual humor returning as he hugged me back. "You think she'll say yes?" he asked, pulling back slightly to look at me, the vulnerability in his eyes clear.

"Of course she will!" I said, my voice full of certainty. "You're an amazing guy, Wade, and she loves you so much. She's going to be over the moon."

Wade's serious expression softened, a small smile creeping onto his face. "I hope so. I just... I want to make sure I do it right, you know?"

I nodded, still smiling. "You will. Just be yourself, Wade. That's the guy she fell in love with, and that's who she's going to say yes to."

Wade let out a breath he'd been holding, his shoulders relaxing a little. "Thanks, Vi. That means a lot coming from you."

"Anytime," I replied, squeezing his hand reassuringly. "And if you need any help planning, you know I'm here for you."

Wade grinned, some of his usual mischief returning to his eyes. "I might take you up on that. I've got some ideas, but I could use a little... finessing."

We both laughed, the moment of seriousness giving way to the usual easy camaraderie between us. It felt good to be part of something so special, to see Wade genuinely happy and excited about the future. And I knew, without a doubt, that Vanessa was going to be just as thrilled as I was.

Wade's grin widened, that familiar mischievous glint returning to his eyes. "So, how about you come with me tomorrow to pick out the ring?" he suggested, his tone slipping back into its usual witty, playful demeanor. "I could really use a woman's advice. You know, make sure I don't pick out something completely awful."

I laughed, shaking my head at him. "Sure, Wade. I'd love to help. But honestly, I don't think you could mess this up even if you tried."

"Oh, you'd be surprised at my ability to screw things up," he quipped, giving me a mock-serious look before breaking into a smile. "But seriously, I appreciate it, Vi. It means a lot."

"Anything for you, Wade," I replied with a warm smile. "We'll find the perfect ring for Vanessa, I promise."

"Perfect," Wade said, clapping his hands together, clearly pleased. "I'll pick you up bright and early. We've got some serious ring shopping to do."

"Looking forward to it," I said, still smiling as I watched Wade's excitement bubble over.

Wade stood up, giving me one last playful wink before heading for the door. "Alright, I'm off. See you tomorrow, partner in crime."

"See you tomorrow," I called after him, shaking my head fondly as he left.

As the door closed behind him, I couldn't help but feel a warm glow in my chest. Wade was finally going to take that next step with Vanessa, and I was honored to be a part of it. Tomorrow was going to be an exciting day, and I couldn't wait to help him find the perfect ring for the woman he loved.

As Logan stepped out of the shower, I was already in the kitchen, gathering ingredients for dinner. I had decided to try something new—a Mexican dish I found online: enchiladas. The idea of making something different excited me, and I hoped Logan would enjoy it too.

The aroma of spices began to fill the kitchen as I sautéed onions and spices, the sizzle of the pan comforting in its familiarity. I glanced over my shoulder as Logan walked in, his hair still damp from the shower, dressed in his usual casual attire. He walked behind me and put his hands around my waist as he gave me a kiss on my cheek.

"Hey," I greeted him with a smile, stirring the mixture in the pan. "I'm trying my hand at enchiladas tonight. Found the recipe online and thought it might be fun."

Logan leaned closer over my shoulder as he gaze softening as he watched me cook. "Smells good already," he said, his voice a low rumble.

"Let's hope it tastes as good as it smells," I replied with a grin, feeling a little flutter in my chest at the way he was touching me.

As I continued to cook, Logan moved to help, setting the table and pouring us both a drink. It had become a sort of unspoken routine between us—me cooking, him helping with the little things. It was simple, domestic even, but it made me feel grounded, like we were building something together, even if neither of us said it out loud.

By the time the enchiladas were ready, the kitchen was filled with a rich, savory aroma that made my stomach growl in anticipation. I carefully placed the baking dish on the table, serving up portions for both of us.

"Moment of truth," I said with a smile, handing Logan his plate.

He took a bite, chewing thoughtfully before looking up at me with a nod of approval. "You've outdone yourself this time," he said, a rare smile tugging at his lips.

I couldn't help but feel a swell of pride. "Glad you like it. It's nice to try something different."

We ate in comfortable silence, the warmth of the meal and the quiet companionship between us making the evening feel complete. As the night went on, I realized that these moments, simple as they were, had become something I cherished deeply.

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The next day arrived, and I was in the middle of getting ready to go to the jewelry store with Wade. As I carefully applied my makeup, I couldn't help but feel a mix of excitement and disbelief. "Can you believe that Wade and Vanessa are getting married?" I said, my voice carrying the thrill of the moment as I glanced at Logan, who was lounging nearby.

Logan chuckled, his usual laid-back demeanor evident. "We don't even know if she's going to say yes," he replied, a teasing tone in his voice.

I shot him a playful look, pausing with my mascara wand in hand. "Oh, come on. You know she's going to say yes. They're perfect for each other."

Logan's smile softened, and he nodded in agreement. "Yeah, they are," he admitted, his tone more sincere. "Wade's lucky to have her."

"And she's lucky to have him," I added, finishing up my makeup and stepping back to admire my reflection. "I just hope I can help him pick out the perfect ring."

Logan watched me with a thoughtful expression, his eyes following my movements. "You'll do fine. You've got good taste."

I smiled at him through the mirror, feeling a warmth in my chest at his words. "Thanks, Logan. I just want it to be special for them, you know?"

He nodded, his gaze never leaving mine. "I know. And it will be."

With a final touch of lipstick, I turned to face him, my excitement bubbling up again. "Alright, I'm ready. Wish me luck."

"Good luck," Logan said, his voice holding a note of affection that made my heart skip a beat.

I said my goodbye with a kiss on his soft lips and I grabbed my purse and headed out the door, ready to help Wade take the next big step in his relationship with Vanessa.

I knocked on Wade's door, waiting for him to answer. When the door finally swung open, there he was, dressed in casual clothes, but the real kicker was the ridiculous toupee perched on his head, looking like it had been swiped from the clearance bin of a costume shop.

I couldn't help but snort, raising an eyebrow as I took in his appearance. "Nice hair," I said, barely able to keep a straight face.

Wade beamed, running a hand over the toupee like it was the finest wig money could buy. "Thanks! I thought I'd class it up today. You know, gotta look my best when I'm about to drop some serious cash on a rock. The hair really seals the deal, don't you think?"

I laughed, shaking my head in disbelief. "You're something else, Wade. But if that thing scares off the jeweler, you're on your own."

He gave me a mock offended look, clutching his chest. "Oh, ye of little faith! This toupee screams 'man with excellent taste.' Vanessa's going to swoon when she sees the ring I pick with this baby on my head."

"Uh-huh," I replied, still grinning. "Ready to go find that ring, Mr. Sophisticated?"

"Born ready," Wade shot back, giving me a conspiratorial wink. "Let's go make Vanessa the happiest woman alive—and let's face it, she already is, but this is just the cherry on top of the Wade sundae."

I rolled my eyes, laughing as he linked his arm through mine. "You're such an idiot."

"And that's why you keep me around!" Wade declared, puffing out his chest as we headed down the hallway. "Now, let's get to that jewelry store before this toupee takes on a life of its own."

We arrived at the jewelry store, the bell above the door chiming softly as we stepped inside. The place was gleaming with all sorts of shiny, expensive things—rows upon rows of sparkling rings, necklaces, and earrings displayed under the bright lights. Wade immediately gravitated toward the rings, his eyes scanning the cases with a mix of excitement and anxiety.

"Alright, where's the ring that says 'I'm the luckiest guy in the world and you'd be crazy to say no'?" Wade muttered to himself as he leaned over one of the cases, his brow furrowed in concentration.

I couldn't help but chuckle as I followed him. "You've got this, Wade. Just find something that screams 'Vanessa.'"

Wade nodded, but he was clearly feeling the pressure. His eyes darted from one ring to the next, his usual confidence wavering for a moment. "What if I pick the wrong one? What if she doesn't like it? What if she takes one look at it and thinks, 'Wow, Wade's lost his touch'?"

I placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "You know her better than anyone. Trust your gut—and maybe that little voice in your head that's always telling you to be just a tad less ridiculous."Wade flashed a quick grin, the tension easing slightly. "Yeah, you're right. Less ridiculous... for a few minutes, at least."

We continued browsing, with Wade picking up rings and then putting them back down just as quickly, muttering things like, "Too sparkly," "Not sparkly enough," and "Is this thing made of tinfoil?" under his breath.

Finally, his eyes landed on a ring—a simple but elegant design with a single, dazzling diamond in the center, flanked by smaller stones that caught the light beautifully. He paused, staring at it for a long moment, and I could see something click in his expression.

"This one," he said quietly, almost to himself. "This is it. It's perfect."

I looked at the ring and then back at Wade, who was surprisingly serious for once. "It's beautiful, Wade. I think Vanessa's going to love it."

He nodded, a small, genuine smile creeping onto his face. "Yeah... yeah, I think so too."

As we walked back to Wade's apartment, the ring safely tucked away in a little velvet box, I could feel a sense of excitement bubbling up between us. Wade was practically buzzing with nervous energy, and I was thrilled to be a part of this moment for him and Vanessa. The conversation flowed easily, mostly about how Wade was going to propose and all the ridiculous scenarios he'd imagined in his head.

But as we turned the corner, I hesitated, my thoughts drifting to the conversation I had with Logan recently. It was something I hadn't told anyone yet, but it felt right to share it with Wade now, especially since we were talking about serious things.

"Wade," I started, glancing over at him as we walked, "there's something I need to tell you."

He looked at me, curiosity piqued. "Uh-oh, this sounds serious. Did you finally break down and tell Logan that you think his hair's better when it's all wild and Wolverine-y?"

I couldn't help but laugh at that. "No, not that. But... I did talk to him about Jean."

Wade's playful expression shifted to something more thoughtful. "Oh... Jean. Ballsy.""Yeah," I nodded, my tone softening. "He opened up about her, about what happened. It was... intense. I think it's why he's been so distant, you know? He's carrying a lot of guilt over it."

Wade sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Yeah, that's Logan for you. The guy's got enough guilt to fill a library, and he's always trying to handle it on his own. But you got him to talk about it? That's big."

"I know," I said quietly. "He's been through so much, and I just wanted him to know that he doesn't have to go through it alone. I think it helped... a little."

Wade gave me a sideways glance, a small, knowing smile tugging at his lips. "You're good for him, you know that? The grumpy old wolf needs someone like you to keep him from going off the deep end."

I smiled back, feeling a warmth spread through me at Wade's words. "I'm just trying to be there for him, like he's been there for me."

Wade nodded, his tone becoming more serious. "Yeah, well, just don't let him push you away too much. Logan's got this bad habit of thinking he's gotta do everything on his own, but we both know that's a load of crap. Keep poking at him, and eventually, he'll get it through that thick skull of his."

I chuckled at that. "I'll do my best, Wade."

As we reached his apartment building, Wade stopped and turned to me, his expression sincere. 

"Thanks for telling me, Vi. And for, you know, looking out for him."

"Of course," I said, giving his arm a gentle squeeze. "We're all in this together, right?"

Wade grinned, the playful glint returning to his eyes. "Damn right. Now let's get back inside before Logan realizes we've been talking about him and goes all 'brooding hero' on us."

I laughed at his remark, but then a thought suddenly struck me. "Wait, when are you going to propose to Vanessa?" I asked, turning to face him.

Wade flashed a grin, looking almost too pleased with himself. "Tonight," he said, his voice full of excitement.

"Tonight?" I echoed, feeling a mix of surprise and anticipation. "Do you have everything planned? What exactly are you planning to do?"

Wade wiggled his eyebrows mischievously. "Oh, I've got it all planned out. Trust me, it's going to be epic. Picture this: a romantic dinner, candles, roses, the works. And then, just when she thinks it's all just a nice evening, bam—I drop to one knee, whip out the ring, and hit her with the most charming proposal this side of a rom-com."

I couldn't help but smile at the thought. "Wow, Wade, that actually sounds... really sweet."

He gave a dramatic bow. "Why, thank you. I like to keep people on their toes, you know? Can't be all jokes and explosions all the time. Gotta throw in some romance to keep things interesting."I laughed again, shaking my head at him. "Well, I'm sure she's going to love it. Just make sure you don't trip over your own feet when you're down on one knee."

Wade placed a hand over his heart, feigning offense. "Please, cupcake, I'm as graceful as a swan. A swan with a couple of swords and a very big mouth."

I rolled my eyes playfully. "Well, good luck, Wade. I'm really happy for you two." "Thanks, Vi," he said, his grin softening into something more genuine. "It means a lot. And don't worry—I'll make sure this is a night Vanessa will never forget."

I laughed as I waved to him while I walked to my door, feeling a sense of contentment wash over me.

Part 9: Unexpected coincidence

[azulsluver]

Bully!au with a cunning mc?

Oh how the tables turned

tw. yandere, bully!characters, manipulation, mentioned violence + public humiliation.

Heartslabyul || Savanaclaw || Octavinelle ||

From what I am getting at, reader this time can stand up against the bullies. During their time spending with Ace and Deuce, they noticed the way they've been a little distant and leaving backhanded comments. Perhaps reader has been in these types of situations, so they knew better than to entertain the duo by pouting and complaining. Instead, let them have a taste of their own medicine, being sure to catch onto their words in case it sets Deuce off. He's such a hot head. Call out on Deuce's bullshit, corner his feelings and get him to side with you. Ace would be left to fend for himself, so used to having people agree on his terms, he's gotta pick a side to be in the league.

People may not realize it, but Deuce is so easy to manipulate in this au. But he's too far deep into his delusions and selfish desires to repent, thus why it's best to catch on to the signs and take the wheel. Deuce is pathetic in your hands, separate him from Ace, make excuses to keep him company and busy while Ace stays from the side, he is the main reason why Deuce acts this way towards you after all. It's preventable, to say at least, but Ace won't back down so quick.

You have to play the game right, or else you'll fall like a stack of cards.

Ace is good at gathering troops into his plans, he gets to fling those around if they aren't much use to him. You'll catch on pretty quick however, understanding why Ace decided to have everyone turn their back on you. Because he's interested. You make Ace second guess himself, what was special about you to begin with. Could it be the fear of rejection, social image?

You want to peer inside that silly head of yours, glaring from across the room. And you noticed, the way his posture straightens as his eyes make contact with yours, teeth biting his lower lip as sweat cling to his neck. Ace loves the attention.

Riddle and Cater could be out of pure spite. You're good at something that they want.

After being told numerous times by Cater that he'd call the fashion police every time you two would hang out. He expects you to not take it by heart (100% wants you to), through gritted teeth and crumpled knuckles, giving him a confused expression to lay off. If Cater wished to create an image of himself that'll falsely inform others, then you might as well play it his way. Fooling Cater by pretending to be the air headed friend, you listen well to your elders, people slowly recognize you by the littlest of things that can make you stand out. Associating yourself with Cater meant you had been influenced on what you should or not do with him.

In fact you enjoy Cater's expression, when someone comes to say hi to you and not him, or mention your story of something you did last week. Shrugging your shoulders as you bat your lashes, Cater could barely hold himself from strangling you. He can see what you're doing, you aren't as dumb as he thought you'd be.

Clicking his tongue, Cater would want to cut you off from his social life for good, but you'll be a reminder to him that he has to do better. If you can easily take down his persona, just how willing were you to do more than just tease him for taking advantage of an innocent person such as yourself.

Riddle has been through some sort of public humiliation, and you've kept that to the back of your mind. He's high and mighty, he knows what he wants, and he gets it one way or another. You and Riddle would be rivals at most, some form of twisted love he's created for himself, for you, that you're perfect. But so, so disgusting.

He doesn’t wanna focus on or getting in a relationship, his bad habit of being a neat freak has caused a toll on him. Making it worse the longer he indulged in this unhealthy behavior and of, although majority of the characters start off light during their bullying. When turned a blind eye is where evil sets in, growing rapidly once they realize how good it feels to have someone bellow them. Riddle, per say is victim to this trope.

You have to push yourself to him, grab his attention and prove him that you are worth the respect. This goes with intelligence because he’s somewhat attracted to those who know how to use their knowledge to hood use. That’s the point, make use of yourself to show Riddle that you’re someone on his level. This can go two ways with him being your rival or friend.

Don’t be seen as vulnerable around Trey. It’s what started for him to prey on you, with no clue on how the world work to little no friends. At first Trey was your average normal friend who helped you at times need, sometimes it came with a price. But then he got greedy, expecting more than taking advantage of your naivety.

Trey is a little tricky to figure because he doesn’t open up about himself a lot. You have to find weak points that doesn’t involve hurting his loved ones. However you can easily deceive him by playing coy, keep him in line with his morals (once he gets comfortable there’s no turning back). I wouldn’t say he’s easily influenced but he hopped onto the train when it did come to bullying you, I guess he took some form of pity but that was to mask his sadistic tendencies. Trey does try to control his urges of said “temptation”, but he gets off to the feeling of someone needing his help in dire situations.

Which means you can be buddy buddy with Trey just make sure not to trigger any opportunities for him to get to how he is in this AU. At least he gives you free snacks.

[mangekyuou]

Hi. If you're comfortable with writing this ( if not, please feel free to ignore, no pressure on you, I really really appreciate your hardwork & I love your writing thank you so much for all of this amazing fanfics you keep bringing!! 💗💗💗💗 ), may i request some angst where Zoro & gn!reader gets into a heated argument with each other which leads to reader wanting to break up with him?

★ WHAT ONCE WAS! roronoa zoro ★

── pairing. zoro x gn!reader.

── summary. change was something you feared. but it had happened before your very eyes as you watched your long-term boyfriend train to take on unknown dangers out on the sea. you can’t even recognize him anymore.

── cw(s). angst. gn!reader. no pronouns used. shitty summary. reader says something kinda mean. zoro being kind of a jerk. takes place pre-timeskip before zoro leaves the shimotsuki village. mentions of kuina.

── wc. 1.2k.

── notepad. i actually been so long since i’ve written something angsty that just stayed angsty. it hurt my soul just enough. so thank you so much for this !! i know the rq says that the reader wants to break up, but this one is kind of a mutual break up

things just kind of happen, don’t they? everything feels fine one moment, but the next moment not so much. people change all the time, even when you don’t want them to. maybe, you were afraid of change. maybe, you were just afraid of him changing.

he didn’t hold you anymore. when the sun had fallen to rest, and the moon had taken its place to shine silvery blue in the cool night sky. not once had his arms draped over your body like they used to. he hadn’t even faced you, as he drifted into the world of dreams. most nights, he did not even come to bed.

instead of lying beside you until sunrise, he found himself striking a dummy a hundred times with the same attacks to perfect them. instead of breathing in your cozy scent, he had pushed his mortal body way beyond its limits.

he didn’t kiss you like he did before, full of passion and love. his strong hands cradled your face as he kissed like every time would be the last one. instead, he had settled for quick pecks to the side of your temple, as he muttered “love you” against your warm skin. hardly even a moment later, he would be out the door. he didn’t even give you a chance to say it back. he never even said ‘i love you’ anymore.

maybe it was a minor thing to gripe about for some people, for it to be those special three words instead of the two. but it meant a lot to you, and he knew that. or at least you thought your boyfriend of several years would have known that.

you made up excuses, anything to keep you from believing that the man you loved more than anything was changing before your very eyes more and more every day. you found yourself thinking questions you never wanted to think about.

does he care anymore? was he no longer attracted to you? did he even love you anymore? had he ever even loved you?

it filled you with so much dread, to the point it was overwhelming. it was getting harder and harder to keep how you were feeling behind the closed door of your, well once shared bedroom.

you couldn’t keep going on like this. going on like everything was fine when it wasn’t. pretending to be fine, as you watched your neglectful boyfriend exert himself to near injury in the name of becoming the world’s greatest swordsman.

now he was talking about leaving the village to challenge dracule mihawk to a duel? you loved him dearly, but you heard one too many stories about “hawk-eyes”, none of them were good. allowing your boyfriend to even set foot off this island was sending him to an early grave.

you believed in him, sure. one day he would be the greatest swordsman. but for once, you just wanted him to be realistic and realize that that day will not be tomorrow, it won’t be next week, it won’t be next month.

why doesn’t he understand you feel this way because you care about him?

“zoro…” you say gently, standing at the door frame of the dojo.

the swordsman was still swinging away at the wooden dummy that was a few swings away from falling apart. of course, he didn’t hear you the first time. he never did.

“zoro” your voice was much louder this time, finally grabbing his attention. “huh?” was all he even said before he went back to swinging at the dummy. he didn’t even spare you a glance.

“can we talk, please? it’s important.”

“just say what you’re going to say, ( y/n )”

“WILL YOU PUT DOWN THOSE LOUSY SWORDS AND LOOK AT ME!”

you didn’t mean that. you knew just how much his swords meant to him, especially the one dawning a pure white hilt. you knew what his dream meant to him. you were just angry. frustrated. tired.

you watched as he sheathed the swords, and did as you said. his expression was stone cold. it was like looking at a whole new man. never had he ever looked at you like that. you knew what you said hurt his feelings.

“if you’re still trying to talk me out of leaving, forget it. if i don’t do it now then…”

“THEN WHAT?! you’ve never been out of the east blue! and you’ll be a DEAD MAN if you challenge a shichibukai!” you couldn’t stop yourself from yelling. “you don’t know what lies ahead of you in the other seas, zoro! i’m just trying to help you!”

“i never ASKED for your help!” he retorted, clenching his fist around the hilt of one of his swords. he continued, “i never WANTED your help! i never NEEDED your help!”

a silence filled the room, as your face dropped and your heart sank into the dark void of your body. you opened your mouth to speak, but you couldn’t even form the words you wanted to. you weren’t even exactly sure what those words were.

“if i don’t do this now…then i may never have a chance to do it again. i have to do this, I thought you understood that.” his voice was full of disappointment, as he turned his back to you, as if you had meant nothing, as if this has all meant NOTHING.

you balled your fists, “i do understand that! but i also understand that there are battles that we are not prepared for just yet! kuina meant a lot to you, zoro. her dream has become yours, and you want nothing more than to achieve that for her. but you are not ready. letting you go would be suicide! kuina would not want that!”

“YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT SHE WOULD HAVE WANTED! YOU DIDN’T EVEN KNOW HER!” he snapped at you.

“YOU’RE RIGHT! I DIDN’T! BUT I KNEW SHE WOULDN’T WANT HER FRIEND DEAD! AND I’M NOT GOING TO SIT BACK AND LET THAT HAPPEN TO YOU!”

“then don’t. leave.”

“…what?”

just like that, you felt everything crash around you. leave? what did he mean 'leave'? leave and go where? how could you leave when this was all you knew? HE was all you knew. you were each other’s firsts. how….could you just leave?

how could he throw everything away? everything you were willing to stay and fix.

“leave! you don’t want to be here then go. nobody’s stopping you.”

he made it clear.

it couldn’t be any clearer than that.

with shaking hands, you slowly turned on your heel, putting one foot in front of the other, walking out of the dojo, walking away from your first love, walking away from the man you thought you would spend the rest of your life with.

you had hoped, he would have stopped you. that he would drop his swords and chase after you, pull you into a hug, and apologize for what he said. you had hoped you just start over, like none of this ever happened. that he would see that you meant well, that you just wanted to keep him safe, that he would stay here with you.

but that didn’t happen. tears flooded your cheeks, as you continued to walk home without him.

it was over, wasn’t it?

© MANGEKYUOU — do not copy, repost, or translate my works.

[notmorbid]

the berry pickers.

dialogue prompts from the berry pickers by amanda peters.

dying is something we have to do alone.

i want to be my full self for you.

whatever makes you happy makes me happy, too.

i'm not sure what's true and what's not anymore.

you never know when you might need kindness from people.

you see anything strange around here?

age brings all sorts of fears.

i think i've always known something was out of place.

you'll grow out of it. you'll forget.

sometimes i wonder if you have any sense at all.

don't worry. they can't hear us.

your only job right now is to be a kid.

when no one's looking, you can be a sweetheart.

it's funny how old you think your parents are, when you're a child.

stop trying to grow up so fast.

there are things more important in this world than taking credit.

there was love, but none of us knew what to do with it.

don't pretend you didn't hear me.

i will try my damnedest not to be sad.

it's hard, looking for someone who can't be found.

you never know what your last words to someone are gonna be.

words are powerful and funny things, said or unsaid.

some people are meant to read great works, and others are meant to write them.

you do love me, after all.

you're jealous. i need you to admit it.

i did what i thought was best: i left.

you seem taller, somehow.

hope is such a wonderful thing, until it isn't.

i never blamed you.

it's not your fault. it just happens, sometimes.

i guess i assumed i'd just wake up one day and everything would be normal again.

i've done my grieving. i can't do it anymore.

some wounds never close, never scar.

i just want to get away. you choose where.

make sure you write everything down, the good and the bad. but mostly the good.

what ghosts haunt your dreams?

are you going home, or leaving home?

sometimes i forget that you're hurting, too.

swearing can make you feel better.

anything you want to tell me?

there's something to be said for salt air.

i love you. i'm sorry i've been so far away.

i've never felt worse. i need you to know that.

i assume the universe knows what it's doing.

getting better isn't easy.

i was convinced the pain would haunt me for the rest of my life.

i was determined to let my pain and anger ruin me.

you like to find fault with everyone but your own self.

you have no right to hold onto that guilt all by yourself.

i'm sick of tiptoeing around you like you're going to break.

don't be sorry. be useful.

i've never been much of a talker.

it's not fair to be young and weak. there's no fairness to it at all.

prejudice runs deep and offers no apologies, in small towns.

you can't stay mad at me.

i didn't sleep because i was worried about you, asshole.

maybe i'm just one of those people who are only happy when they aren't.

it's not that i don't remember. it's that i don't want to.

why do you always assume you're on your own?

i remember. i didn't think you did.

people are always saying nice things about the dead, especially when their family is in the room.

sometimes a lie becomes so entrenched, it becomes the truth.

you never deserved anything i did to you.

the only person i have a right to be angry with is myself.

it wasn't because i didn't love you.

you know of any work i could get around here?

i wonder, sometimes, what i did to deserve it.

you got a story?

you seem too young to have a story of any interest.

something is making you all dark and moody.

what are you doing out here? there's a storm coming.

i don't go giving my name out to every stranger i meet.

people seem to need to get away from me.

own your mistakes. make amends and move on.

you feel things too quick and too heavy. you need to let things go, sometimes.

i'm here. it was just a dream.

i kind of hoped i would die before i had to tell you this.

i wanted to hate you, but i couldn't.

anger and sadness are just two different sides of the same coin.

time is never a friend to the sick or the old.

i don't like to see people i might know.

how are you still alive?

the lord must keep me around to amuse himself.

where is home, for you?

what's at home that's got you afraid to be there?

the only misery you're causing is your own.

i'll be honest, because i don't know how else to be.

don't worry. i'll remember for you.

i ruined myself all by myself.

i prayed you would come home to us.

what on earth have you got to be sorry for?

tell me about ___. if it's okay.

lost souls have to find their own way home.

i don't think i've ever laughed that hard in my life.

[danisbrainrot]

jackie taylor x reader

how have I not written about her yet??? anyways, doing the lord's work (aka what shauna should have done).

everyone stood in shock, watching as jackie stormed out of the room after her explosive argument with shauna. you glanced at the door and back at shauna, unsure whether or not to chase after her or stay and comfort your friend.

tai was by shauna's side immediately, comforting her as the girl sobbed into her chest. still, none of the girls made a move to follow jackie outside.

you weren't stupid. it was hard not to notice how it was getting colder recently, or how all the animals were stocking up and going into hibernation. you knew winter was just around the corner, and feared that jackie could fall prey to it.

you didn't want to be that girl who followed after her, since shauna was a good friend to you and you didn't want to show her you were picking sides. however, you knew that if you didn't do something, no one else would; jackie was one of the most stubborn people you'd ever met, she wasn't going to come inside on her own volition. no, she'd have to be convinced.

at first, you found yourself standing above coach ben, who was still shocked from watching the argument unfold. "coach, you need to do something about that. jackie can't sleep outside," you whisper, glancing back to see if anyone was watching you.

he shook his head, "sorry, but I don't want to get involved in you girls' arguments," he replies, groaning softly as he moves to readjust himself into a better position.

"you're an adult. jackie will listen to you," you beg, but to no avail. ben shakes his head and refuses again, forcing you to look elsewhere. your eyes land on nat, who—granted held a bit of disdain for your captain—would surely see the consequences of leaving jackie outside to freeze.

however, you were no longer sure when travis pulls her in and whispers something in her ear; they both glance towards the door and you knew they'd be no help.

you stared out the window, watching jackie's pathetic attempt at starting a fire with pity. she really wasn't made for the wilderness, that was obvious. it was clear from day one she wouldn't contribute much, since all she'd done was complain, whinge and refuse to help with the chores. but you still remember the sweet and inspiring team captain on your soccer team; you can't help wonder what went wrong.

finally having enough, you quickly slipped outside, going unnoticed by no one. you'd take the dirty glares and rude comments if it meant coercing jackie back inside. you always listened to your gut rather than what people had to say, and right now, your gut was yelling at you to go talk to her.

jackie's gaze lingers on you as you sit beside her. after a beat of silence, she crosses her arms over her and chest and says, "if shauna sent you out here—"

"no one sent me out here," you reply, watching the flickering flames about to go out. it's silent again as you work up the nerve to beg her to come inside and she tried to work out why you were talking to her.

jackie sniffles, trying to hide the fact she'd been crying; it doesn't matter, since you can tell from her red eyes. "she's my best friend and she hates me," jackie mumbles, resting her arms against her legs and her chin on her lap. you're silent, happy to listen to jackie vent—it was for the best, because you weren't going to pretend to know anything about her relationship with shauna. "and you know what's the stupidest part? I don't even love jeff. . . I don't know if I even like him. she broke my heart and I don't know why."

"talk to her about it—and I mean talk, not argue," you reply earnestly, not sure how else someone was supposed to react to this situation. "you feel betrayed, and she feels overshadowed. you still have time to sort this out. fuck! we're in the woods and no one's coming to find us. you have plenty of time to tell her how you feel," jackie looks up at you with tears in her eyes. she's lost for words, and you smile at her gently, assuring yourself that she'd listen.

she shakes her head and sits up, however, making your smile fade. "no, she doesn't want to talk to me right now," jackie mumbles, kicking at one of the stones and accidentally sending it flying into the fire. "and I don't want to talk to her," she adds hastily, making you raise your eyebrow questioningly, "she's in the wrong, I shouldn't have to apologise to her," you roll you eyes at her stubbornness.

"fine, but I'm not leaving until you're inside with me," you snap. you watch her rub her arms up and down, and notice how chill the weather had gotten. was it always like this at night? how did jackie expect to survive through the night. "come on, jackie. I don't want to wake up in the morning to you looking like a smurf."

jackie burst into laughter, making you join too. "god, I'll be fine. don't worry. no frosty the snowman here," she promises. but you're no stranger to the cold. to snow. "I'll be alright, I just can't stand to look at her right now."

it falls quiet again, as you both mull over what she said. you can't help yourself, fearing the worst, you blurt out, "dying isn't worth it, y'know," she raises her eyebrows, "jackie taylor, you're the pettiest person I know. . . but to freeze out here because you're mad at shauna? that's a lot, even for you," you softly explain.

jackie scoffs, rolling her eyes before shivering again, "oh my god, I'm not going to die out here. I have a blanket, I'm wearing a jacket and a roaring. . . well, not roaring, but I have a fire," she points out. "it's not just gonna randomly snow in the middle of the night," you sigh, realising that she was convinced. there was no bringing her inside—and it was getting cold, even for you.

you bite your bottom lip, getting up to kiss her on the forehead. "I love you, okay? I don't want anything bad to happen to you," she looks up at you in shock, "come inside when you're ready, but please, don't stay out here all night. if not because of the weather, then because the wolves that attacked van are close by," she nods, and turns to face the weak fire again as you walk off.

"wait!" she calls out, standing up and chasing after you. your body fills with warmth as you silently rejoice at convincing her to come inside. "what do you mean you love me?"

you froze in your spot, feeling your heart race and your cheeks fill with heat. "I think you know," you reply, hoping that if she didn't feel the same way, she'd assume you were talking platonically.

jackie stares at you, breathing heavily, before she pulls you into a hug. "thank you, for caring enough to come out here," she whispers. you smile softly in return; she leans into you, kissing you gently on the lips. you were in shock for a moment, in complete disbelief that jackie liked you that way—that she liked girls that way. soon, you realised that the kiss was real, and that she wanted you; savouring the sweet moment, you mourned the loss of her lips on your own. "wow, your lips are so warm," you laugh at her, glancing back at the cabin ready to grab her hand when she flinched out of your grasp. "I'm not ready yet. . . stay out here with me?"

you nod, joining her to sit on the log again. you added some kindling to the fire as she snuggled up close to you. it was nice to feel her this close, and know she liked you back—even if it seemed like it was because she was lonely. it didn't matter to you, however, as you focused instead on the way she relied on you for warmth, and the way the flames danced.

after what felt like half an hour (but was closer to two hours) you notice the lights turning off, "it's cold, I'm going back inside," you announce.

jackie nods, "okay. I'll just be a little longer," she replies, shooting you a reassuring smile. you kiss her forehead again, and take sullen steps towards the cabin.

you glance at her once again, tempted to drag her inside, kicking and screaming, but you decide to leave her be. you receive dirty glares when you come back inside. you feel even smaller knowing you'd failed to bring her back in, so it was for nothing.

you accidentally lock eyes with mari, before glancing back at the ground. once you reached the fireplace to warm up, that's when the comments began. "of course you'd chase after jackie," mari snipes, shaking her head.

"it's so cold outside! I was worried she'd actually sleep out there and freeze," you reply, defending yourself.

you heard tai scoff, and looked for shauna, only to find her missing. "she chose to go outside," van mumbles, staring at the floor to avoid your gaze. you stare at her in disbelief.

you glance around the room, seeing no one agree with you—not even misty. nat and travis stared at the ground, also avoiding your eyes. "guys, now is not the time to be petty, she could've been in serious danger," you cry. no one responds, and you can't help but groan and roll your eyes.

"we saw you kiss her," misty announces. you look taken aback, but don't say anything. "three times," she adds, and you bite back the retort you were ready to sling at her.

instead you walk towards your bed, slipping under the sheets and pretending like you didn't notice everyone's gaze on you. eventually, tai heads upstairs and you hear everyone shuffle into their beds—but still no jackie.

your eyelids grow heavy, and as they do, you could swear you hear a door creak open. you smile in your dreamy state, knowing that jackie had finally come back inside. . .

"no, no, no, no, no!" shauna screams, jumping over you and racing outside. you jolt awake, your heart racing as you look around at all the confused faces of the girls. suddenly, it occurs to you, jackie's not one of them.

scrambling to your feet, you and tai are the first ones out the door after shauna. you have no idea why she's carrying on when you finally realise the ground had changed from green to white overnight. shauna was hunched over something in the snow, which at first glance, looked like a log.

it takes you a minute to process the scene in front of you; when it does, it feels like you've been hit by a train. your stomach drops and you feel your heart shatter into a million pieces.

shauna was on her hands and knees, screaming and crying while shaking her best friend. "jackie, wake up!" she wails. tai is by her side immediately, holding onto her and trying to comfort her.

your hand flies to your mouth as you begin to sob as well. no, no! this isn't right! jackie came inside last night! I heard her! you can't help but think. you could've sworn the door was opened. . . but here jackie was, covered in a blanket of snow, as you fell to your knees and mourned the girl you'd had a crush on since middle school.

you feel a pair of arms on your shoulders, as you lean into them for comfort, letting your tears run freely. you couldn't stand to look at the sight anymore without feeling guilty. you'd done everything you could, but was that truly enough? you should've done more! you should've dragged her inside! slapped some sense into shauna or the coach! you should have stayed by her side! tried harder to convince her! or at least kept her warm all night!

but you didn't, and you knew that would haunt you til your dying breath.

[cursedvida]

Something about Y/N is a bounty hunter and she has been hired to catch Buggy. She infiltrates his crew to gain access to him. At first she thinks he's crazy and ridiculous duda with all his shows and bravado, but eventually she realises that she has feelings for him?

Well i liked this prompt so... I made something angst because yeah.

PART II // PART III // PART IV // PART V // PART VI // PART VII

SAD EYES, BROKEN SMILE (Buggy x f!Reader)

A/N: i'm not really happy about the result but english isn't my first language and it's been a while since i used to write in this language. Sorry for the typos.

Warnings: just angst, swearing and the reader falling for a sad clown.

Wondering how you could have got in that situation was redundant. You knew perfectly well why you were there. It was part of your job, if hunting pirates could be considered as such. Well, it fed you, and for a person who cared little or nothing about anything but staying alive, how you got things was secondary. So when you received the assignment to hunt down Buggy the Clown for almost double his bounty you didn't have to think too hard about it. With an amount like that you could rest for several months without worrying about the money. You didn't know or care about who was after this guy or what they wanted to do with him, all you could see was the string of zeros in the offer. At the time that was enough for you. 

But that thought only lasted for a short period of time. The Clown was not just another regular pirate, he was a big shot. The guy had been nominated as a candidate to be a Warlord, which meant he was no ordinary pirate, and his special skills - which you had researched - made him someone not to be underestimated. 

Whoever was interested in getting him had to have good reasons, something you were not interested in at all, but as you got to know your target better you blamed yourself for not having demanded a higher price. Especially since catching Buggy was no easy task, he had a reputation for always moving around guarded by his crew, which made him slightly inaccessible prey. However, when you finally caught up with him and his crew, all the imaginings you had built up in your head disappeared in one fell swoop. 

Buggy the Clown was, as his name said, a clown. A real fucking clown who spent his days bragging about his fucking antics and didn't know what it meant to shut the fuck up because he was always in dire need of being heard and being the centre of attention.He wasn't a fearsome pirate, he was a narcissist with an excessive need for attention who told far-fetched stories about great feats that no one in their right mind would believe him capable of. He was ridiculous, and the worst thing was that his comrades adored him, they had almost a special veneration for him. You couldn't understand him, he became hysterical at the drop of a hat, he was hypersensitive to any comment that wasn't literally an offering to his self-proclaimed divine power and would go from over-excitement to melodrama in a millisecond. The only thing that was clear to you was that feigning adoration for this jerk to fit in with his band of morons made you sick.

Joining his crew wasn't too difficult - ego-hungry men are the easiest to cajole-. All you had to do was pretend to be a poor, helpless little girl without much talent who had wanted to be a pirate for years and had heard amazing stories about this genius jester who had not only terrorized the East Blue, but had become one of the most feared pirates on the Great Line.Buggy didn't even pay much attention to you, you was too ordinary to interest him, something that suited you. 

"Of course you've heard of me," he told you that first time you met him, when you managed to catch him in a tavern after following him for days. "Hey guys, our little friend says she's heard about the great Buggy!"

That whole gang of freaks started laughing non-stop, as if what you had just said was the most ridiculous thing in the world. Buggy turned to you again. 

"Okay, honey, what can you do for me?"

"Anything I can be useful for."

Trying not to sound too intense - so as not to sound suspicious - you insisted that you wanted the chance to learn on such a famed crew, to please give you the opportunity. The same night you were given a bucket, a mop and welcomed as an unimportant cabin girl. Just as you wanted. 

The idea was to lay low until you had been cleaning up vomit and serving drunks long enough to have access to the captain. You knew there was no point in trying to cut him because of his powers, and if you tried to tie him up he would escape, so the only way to make sure you could catch him was to drug him. 

The plan was a slam dunk. Wait until the key moment to attack and that's it, even if the waiting included having to put up with the bunch of weirdos that made up the crew and the attention whore of their captain, who seemed to have an allergy to normality. 

Yes, it was a piece of cake, or at least that's what you thought until that day when everything began to take a turn for the worse that you could never have imagined. 

"Oh, excuse me captain"

It was a night like so many others. The crew had managed to embezzle from a rich family and had pocketed a handful of gold. In the face of such success they had not missed the opportunity to celebratre: litres and litres of beer, sake, rum and all kinds of alcohol. Food to rave about. The crew circus that Buggy was leading that night was a complete madness. You, on the other hand, remained sober, in the shadows. You picked up jugs, replenished them, swept up some of the mess... Everything you'd expect from a rookie being used as a maid.

At such moments Buggy loved to strut his stuff more than ever. He used to stand in the centre of the deck, surrounded by his entire fan club, get on a box or powder keg and start his show. He would talk about how wonderful he was, how powerful and rich they would all become by being with him, and he would emphasise considerably all that he had done to achieve the goal. So it was strange enough for you not to have seen him bragging around for the last hour, but stranger still to find him down in the cellars with his back against a row of beer barrels and his gaze lost in infinity. 

Buggy was drunk. Very drunk. At that moment you thought maybe the time had come, when would you have a better chance? He was totally idioticated by alcohol, perfect for noqueating it. And his crew all drunk, no one would notice what was going on. 

You came out of your role of useless servant, your senses sharpened, your muscles in tension. The time had come before even your personal deadline was fulfilled, you thought it was your lucky night, but at that moment Buggy noticed your presence, looking at you with glassy eyes and lost because of the drunkenness, and there was something in that look that made you feel a slight sneezing in the stomach that you had never experienced before. 

"Oh, it's you, uh... uh..." he scratched his fingers, trying to remember something. 

"Y/N, Captain," you answered with a fist. The bastard didn't even remember your name. 

“Yeah, exactly…" he said to himself. His head crumbled a little. 

He didn't wear the hat, nor the coat. Her makeup was a little rushed because of the hours he had already been at the party, and his eyes were still lost somewhere you didn't know, but for some reason it caused you so much curiosity that anything else slipped out of your head. 

"Can I help you with something?" You asked, with your most innocent voice. 

Buggy stayed looking at his jar for a few moments and then turned to you again. 

"Do you think I need help, baby?" His mocking tone seemed to indicate no, but his desolate expression said the opposite. "Do you think a pirate like me needs help?"

"I didn't want to offend you, sir..."

When he saw how you apologized, he laughed, a loud sound, but lacking fun in the tone. In fact, his laughter sounded cold to you. Then you realized that Buggy was not laughing anymore, but was breathing a huge sigh. 

"It's better not to need help nor need anyone.  At the end you're always alone"

His voice suddenly darkened and, for the first time since you were on that boat, you felt real curiosity for the man you had in front of you. There was something dark in his gaze, a face of lost innocence that seemed irremediably familiar to you. Without realizing it, you had lowered the guard, and that was only the beginning of your great end. 

"You're not alone, Captain." You told him, trying stupidly to keep your role. "Everyone  in this crew is with you, and everyone adores you."

"Of course they love me" He answered, slightly offended, and then became blue again. It was then that he looked directly at you, and it was that look that suddenly passed through you. There was fury in his eyes, but also another very different feeling, you could see in them something sad and broken, so sad and so broken that you had terrible desires to reassemble it immediately. "Don't you believe it, Y/N?"

The question makes you uninterested, or too distracted. 

“What...? that they adore you, sir?"

"No, shit" he cried, shaking at the drunkard. “that we are always alone."

“So…” You was shocked, it’s possible that you didn’t know what to answer? It wasn't even a complicated or out of place question, what the fuck had you been thinking about? Fuck, what happened to you? "Well... I..." You had to react, you were shivering, you didn't shiver. You took air, trying to get back to your boats, and then you turned to him again. "Didn't we all be born alone?" 

"What?"

"We are born alone and we die alone," you said. "And we live together in the meantime. But we are born alone and we die alone." 

He kept watching you. You didn't know if he was trying to process your words because due to the state of drunkenness in which he was probably not processing half of what was happening around him, or if he really was trying to analyze you. It was somewhat difficult to discern when someone was drunk, the line between curiosity and ethyl coma was complicated. 

It was probably the first time Buggy really noticed you since you got on the boat. Because you didn't want to be noticed, he didn’t notice you, you were good at hiding. But now he had all his attention on you and something shrunk inside you, like you missed the air. You suddenly found yourself thinking that maybe he wasn't as stupid as you thought he was. Maybe that whole facade of bravado and arrogance was just a way to make up all his insecurities,. Maybe at the end he just was a broken man behind so much show. In that moment, as his gaze clawed into yours, you realized that he even seemed attractive to you. And that moment you had to look away, horrified by everything that was going on in your head, but what the hell?

"It's an interesting answer," he murmured. 

"I have to... I have to go re-set the barrels" you finally said, you had to get out of there, the atmosphere had suddenly darkened "I'm sorry, captain."

And as you went out sparkled back to the deck, you noticed something that made you absolutely horrified: you were totally noisy. 

From that night on, Buggy decided that you weren't going to be an anonymous person to him. It's not that he left everything he was doing to talk to you, but when you crossed each other, he always greeted you. And you discovered that, in some way that you were unable to understand, you were beginning to have a very strong crush for a guy who uses make up to painted his face like a clown and was a little bit older for you. 

The more interactions you had with him - very little really, nothing even remotely similar to that night - the more you realized that your contempt for all that circus roll and the freaks making shows had clouded your ability to analyze. Buggy wasn't an idiot. Well, he was, but he also turned out to be a very smart man, was good at planning and a real genius at tricks. Furthermore, despite being always talking about himself and being quite despotic, he really cared about the crew and had respect for them. At the end, you thought that he was simply growing up child  with anger problems, and that was really charming to you. 

So there you are now, you have a fucking crush on the guy you had to kidnap, not knowing what the hell to do because it's the first time in your life that something like this happens to you and feeling ridiculous at the same time because you look like a super stupid fifteen-year-old bitch. You've killed more people than you can count, you've broken bones, cut necks, ripped teeth off, but suddenly you meet that idiot clown and everything, absolutely everything you have worked on so far goes to shit. And the worst part is that you don't even care because you're too worried looking at him from a distance like stupid fool. 

"Hey, Y/N" 

It's Cabaji's voice that gets you out of your mind. Since you had that meeting with Buggy in the cellars you're no longer dedicated to cleaning and serving, now you clean and fix things. It's kind of an promotion, but really no. 

"What's going on?"

"Have you seen the two who came yesterday? You know... those who talked about joining the crew."

"No idea"

Cabaji sits carelessly, your voice has not shaken a single moment. You remember them, of course, a couple of friends wanting to become pirates. And of course you will not tell Cabaji that you had no choice but to open their heads and leave them on the other end of the island when you heard one of the two commenting something about the captain being very attractive and. That information don¡t fit well with your image of a worthless rookie, and it would also be like assuming you have more childish jealousy starts than teenagers and therefore accepting that you're reaching very worrying levels of encapsulation. 

Actually, since you found out how much you like Buggy, there are a lot of things you can't say. For example that you were the one who left that bitch without legs when he dared to make a comment about Buggy’s nose on the last island you passed. Neither can you tell the guys who hired you to hunt him that you don't plan on doing your job and that you've long abandoned that idea. Of course, can't say to some of your colleagues you're in that crew because you want it and not for work. But most of all, you can't tell Buggy that you'd love to know what it's like to kiss a man with a broken smile and sad eyes, but you would be willing to admit any of your other secrets before the last one.

[byeoltoyuki]

✧memories of us ✧ the gathering

↳ Pairing: Jisung x Reader

❧ Genre : romance / smut /fluff / 1st love to strangers to lovers

❧ Summary: Sometimes memories are just that. Memories.

A series of drabbles about you and Jisung, about your love and your heartbreak and a second chance.

❧ A/N: Likes and reblogs are appreciated ♥

Because you asked me @rylea08♫

Masterlist / previous / next

Jisung had finally lost his mind. You always knew that out of all your friends he was probably the craziest but still. This time, he had completely lost it. After five years, he decided that a gathering with the whole band was long overdue and a good idea. 

You disagreed. 

You could now easily manage to spend some times with him, especially after your exhibition. You talked a lot whether on the phone or by messages and met a few times for coffee dates. You could even tolerate Minho’s presence (the hug did its magic). But you feared Yunji’s reaction. In fact, you feared she would simply refuse to come and probably curse the whole world for even suggesting it.

Maybe meeting with Jisung and Minho would do her some good, whether she agreed or not. Yunji was stubborn and didn’t share much of her inner thoughts. But you knew her. She could pretend all she wanted that there was no issue, that Minho meant absolutely nothing to her – truth was he meant a lot and the unsaid words were slowly eating her from inside.

“I can’t do this.” Yunji confessed over the phone, her voice oddly weak and shaky. She didn’t sound like herself and you guessed it was because she had been thinking about the gathering all this time. Maybe she was even imagining all the different scenarios and she didn’t like the outcomes of any of them.

“Is it because of Minho?” You asked despite knowing the answer.

You expected her to change the topic, to ignore your question like she always did. Five years later and Yunji still hated talking about him. Sometimes, the simple mention of his name would make her leave the room.

But Yunji did none of that. Not this time. She sighed and you could easily imagine her ruffling her hair in frustration. “I’m scared of what it would do to me to see him again.”

You could relate to her feelings quite easily. Not long ago, you felt the same way when faced with Jisung for the first time again. But it was worth it. Yes, somehow you picked up where you left, but even if you didn’t, seeing and talking to him made you feel good. The memories you shared were no longer bitter. And maybe Yunji needed that too. “Hey, I won’t push you into something you don’t want. But maybe it’s time to face him and tell him how you feel?”

“I wish I could.” Yunji admitted, “But you know that whenever I see him, I want to slap his annoying face.”

You chuckled at the memory of their never ending bickering; it was their own way to show how much they cared for each other. “Then slap him. And then maybe kiss him.”

She groaned. “I’ll settle for the slap.”

“And a kiss.” You insisted.

“And another slap for you if you keep saying that.” She threatened you but you could feel her smiling.

***

Jisung and you were the first to arrive at Minho’s place. Not that surprising, Jisung picked you up, not letting you many choices in the matter. It would have possibly upset you few weeks ago. Now? You couldn’t deny that it pleased you.

It surprised you a little that Minho was the one holding the gathering at his place. You didn’t think he agreed that easily but maybe Jisung knew some dirty secrets and forced him into it. You wouldn’t be surprised.

The moment you got inside his place, a delicious scent reached your nose and you almost moaned in delight. You forgot that one of Minho’s many hidden talents was that he was a great cook.

 “By the way, I came for the food.” You told Minho as you followed him inside the kitchen to help him.

“Kinda agree with you on this one.” Jisung approved and slapped his friend’s back playfully.

“I’m going to put poison in your plates.” Minho threatened you as if any of his threats worked any longer on you.

You rolled your eyes at his typical response while Jisung laughed heartily.

Minho ignored the two of you and resumed his cooking. It amazed you how concentrated he was despite your chatting. Jisung attempted to steal some food which earnt him a strong slap and glare while you laughed at his defeated face.

“Hey Minho,” You weren’t sure how he would react to your question, but you were curious. “How do you feel about seeing Yunji again?”

Minho froze in the middle of cutting some carrots, forgetting how to breath. Jisung tensed beside you, his eyes darting back and forth between his friend and you. But Minho didn’t answer, he started cutting again as if he hadn’t heard you at all.

Someone had clearly forgotten that you were also stubborn. “Minho.”

Minho closed his eyes and growled at your attempt to make him talk. “Devastated.” He finally said and slowly turned to look at you. You saw anger in his eyes but also something else. Sadness? Anguish?

“Anxious?” He kept going, “I don’t know how to deal with her.” Then his gaze slid to Jisung. “I envy you. You managed so easily to go back to your insufferable lovey-dovey self. But I have no idea what to do with her.”

Minho had always been a mystery to you. At least to understand his feelings. And boy did he surprise you. You hoped he felt bad about how he cut out Yunji from his life, but now you realized that it pained him more than he was willing to admit out loud.

Your eyes softened as you took a step towards him. He stopped you from getting closer by pointing the knife in your direction. “Don’t.”

“Fine.” You raised your hands in defeat and retreated behind Jisung, shamelessly using him as a shield against Minho (which didn’t go unnoticed by Jisung who chuckled). “But you know, you can start with ‘I’m sorry for being an ass’. And maybe, also prepare yourself for a slap.” Because you did suggest Yunji to slap him, to relieve her pain.

“She won’t slap him, will she?” Jisung looked at you over his shoulder, frowning.

***

Yunji arrived ten minutes later with Changbin. If Changbin showed some excitement being here with all of you, Yunji on the other hand was calm. Too calm. She hid behind Changbin, trying to make herself as small as possible. But her attempt went unnoticed by Changbin who joined you and Jisung, leaving her no choice but face Minho.

Seeing how silent the two of you were, Changbin leaned closer and whispered, “What’s wrong?”

“Shhhh.” Jisung silenced him with his hand over his mouth while you pointed at the couple.

“Oh.” Changbin realized, “This is awkward.”

 “Is it me,” Jisung leaned closer to you, “Or does it feel like she’s trying not to punch him?”

You averted your eyes from the couple for a moment to look at Jisung who wiggled his eyebrows playfully at you. Of course, he would be amused. You expected him to start betting of who would throw the first punch. “Nah. She’s going to be civilized.” At least, it was what you believed. “I hope.”

***

Fortunately for all of you, Yunji didn’t try to fight Minho, in fact, she barely acknowledged him. Instead, her eyes were most of the time on you and Jisung, watching your every step, your every move. Without speaking, you guessed easily what was going on in her pretty, little head. She was worried that this thing between you and Jisung would evolve again and turn into something that could hurt you again. You appreciated her worries but wished she would rather face her own issue that was the man sitting across from her.

“Here.” Jisung handed you another bottle of beer. He took seat beside you, his hand founding your knee. You tensed for a second, your eyes locked on his hand. It felt nice and warm and so familiar and natural. You could have told him not to do it. But you couldn’t. It felt just too good.

“By the way,” Jisung started, “Changbin has something to share with the two of you.” He finished by pointing at you and then at Yunji.

Changbin groaned and cursed under his breath, ready to tackle Jisung for being so noisy. Again.

“I’m already regretting it.” Changbin mumbled

“No takes back.” Minho gestured with his bottle at him.

Changbin turned towards you. “I might need some saving.” You doubt it. Changbin could handle anyone, but you played along as you winked. “I agreed to join their band.”

“Finally!” Yunji squealed from her place, showing finally some real emotions.

You jumped from your place and went straight to him to give him a bear hug. “I’m surrounding myself with superstars.”

Changbin hugged you back, chuckling at your comment. “We’ll see about that.” But you knew he would hit big. Now that their team was complete, there was no way they wouldn’t succeed.

“Huh. I’m jealous. I didn’t get a hug when I told you about it.” Jisung complained as he crossed his arms over his chest, trying to look disappointed.

Your response came in the form of you sticking your tongue.

“You deserved it.” Changbin smirked, proud that your attention was on him. At least, he had one way to annoy Jisung.

Jisung pouted. “And here I thought I was your favorite.”

“You wish.”

***

Yunji waited for the two of you to be alone to finally corner you, eyes determined and curious. “What’s going on with you and Jisung?” She expected you to try to avoid her or avoid her questions or worse try to bring her own issues.

But you knew this moment was coming. Yunji had spent the past hour watching the two of you, closely. She wasn’t blind; she could see you were close and touchy and comfortable with each other. Again. Not just as friends. You were aware of it too.

“Nothing.” You didn’t sound convincing, not even to your ears.

Yunji shook her head and wondered whether you were truly trying to lie or if you were simply so blind. “Last time you answered that, it turned out you were dating.” She paused to stare at your face and see any trace of what you were hiding. “Are you?”

“No.”

She took a step towards you. “Do you want to?”

“I don’t know.” This time around, it was a lie. You did know.

***

Minho and Yunji surprised all of you by going to the balcony to have a talk, one long overdue. Instead of minding your own business like you should, the three of you got as close as possible without risking Minho’s wrath.

“I’m surprised how composed they are.” You admitted

The two men beside you snorted in response.

“More like surprised Yunji isn’t screaming at him. I bet she has a lot to say.” Changbin commented. Just like you, Changbin was aware of how angry Yunji was and just how much she wasn’t telling you about her feelings. She didn’t need to, you knew.

“Should we bet?” Jisung smiled wickedly at the two of you. Of course, he was up to no good.

“That’s a bad idea.” You protested

“I bet she’s going to slap him.” Changbin didn’t hesitate.

“Seriously?!” You whined. You couldn’t believe they were still the same as in high school, betting on anything they could.

“I bet they’re going to fuck.” Jisung ignored your protest.

You stared at them in disbelief, then, you averted your eyes to look at the couple. “I bet she’s going to slap him and then kiss him.”

You were no better than them.

***

Jisung got you back home, the ride short but animated. Instead of talking, you sang your favorite songs. At least one of you was good at singing. Not you, obviously, but Jisung didn’t complain. He looked too delighted, smiling widely.

“I’m really glad we found each other again.” Jisung admitted at your doorstep. Before he could lose his courage, he brought you in his arms for a warm embrace. “Believe it or not, I missed it a lot.”

You quickly realized, by the way Jisung’s grip got stronger around you, that he wasn’t only talking about your group. No, it was you he also missed and was glad to find again. You inhaled his sweet, comforting scent, pressing your head further into him, melting in his arms. It felt nice and you didn’t want it to stop.

“I’m glad too.” You whispered, your grip on him a little tighter. You didn’t want to let go, you didn’t want this moment to end. You missed him, you missed his warmth, his touch.

“Y/N.” Jisung called your name and gently grabbed your shoulders to push you away from him, only to have a better look at your face, his eyes searching yours. His eyes were both soft and filled with longing and desire.

You sucked in a breath, unable to look away, not even when his gaze slid to your lips. He wanted to kiss you, you felt it and hoped he would. Screw your fears, right now the only thing that truly mattered was him and you.

“Kiss me?” You pleaded

Jisung didn’t need to be asked twice. His mouth crashed down on yours, claiming your lips. You moaned into the kiss; your arms around his neck you pulled him flush against you. You wanted to feel all of him against you.

“Fuck, angel.” Jisung groaned against your lip, he fisted your hair, pulling to get a better angle, to deepen the kiss. “I missed you so much.”

Your ignored the tears that pricked your eyes only to pour all your feelings into the kiss, wanting him to feel, to understand just how much you missed him too. How much you wished you had met again sooner.

“I’m not letting you go again.” And he sealed the promise with his lips.

[vaile-elenya]

Look I may be completely wrong, I don't cliff jump into bodies of water on the regular so forgive me if I'm wrong, but how is Elrond not injured by the fall?? The pan down from the waterfall to the cliff made the cliff look incredibly high. Not to mention the possibility of rocks at the bottom of the waterfall. My first reaction to it was “YOU’RE GOING TO DIE!” (let’s pretend that we don't know he lives)

How afraid of Galadriel and Gil-galad was he to think that was his best option? Especially if he didn't know if he'd survive.

People do cliff jump for sport but the difference is how they land in the water. I don't know if Elrond is a seasoned cliff jumper because the surface tension could kill you. Yes, he is a half-elf but I don't gravity or the water cares that much.

Can someone smarter than me figure out how tall that cliff was and see if it was survivable? If it wasn't, then he really parallels Elwing, she didn't know that she'd survive. It was Ulmo that saved her. It was a suicide attempt to keep the silmaril away from Maedhors and Maglor.

If I am right about the cliff being high enough to kill him, then maybe Ulmo saves Elrond too. In my brief-as-hell research, Ulmo knew Eärendil’s father so maybe he's fond of the family. Ulmo is said to dwell in deep rivers, so it could be possible that he saved Elrond. What a parallel if I'm right

This is just a headcanon and massive speculation on my end, so I'd love to hear your thoughts. Like this me screaming at the sky type of headcanon, I’m not expecting to by right 😂

Ohhh, I had the same thought when Elrond made that jump! To me, it looked deadly. But what struck me the most was how the other Elves seemed so... unbothered? It might not be the perfect word to use here, but neither Galadriel nor Gil-galad seemed very concerned that Elrond might have been killed by that jump. I can’t tell if it's because they have this unwavering hope and goodness in their nature, or if they just knew the jump wasn’t as fatal as it appeared, but something about Gil-galad stationing guards at every crossing and Galadriel almost immediately assuming Elrond had gone somewhere else, rather than imagining him at the bottom of the ocean, makes me think the jump might not have been that dangerous—at least not for someone with Elven heritage 🤔

(Also, it did make me a little sad we didn’t get a moment where Gil-galad or Galadriel expressed concern, like “I hope he’s alright,” or even better, “We’ll deal with the rings after we find Elrond. First, let’s make sure he’s safe.” 💔)

But! With that said, I totally see the parallel to Elwing here. Elrond might know this waterfall by heart, but in a situation like this, you just can’t help but wonder if things might not go as smoothly as planned. I think you can see that fear on his face—his eyes show so much pain:

This is the look of someone painfully hurt, painfully scared, and painfully disappointed—knowing it's either give up the jewels or, possibly, face death. You can almost feel the pain of this realization in his expression, especially in the first two shots 💔

The moment we see Elrond from behind, with Gil-estel on his cloak, it feels like we're meant to draw a mental comparison to Elwing and the Silmarils. I can only imagine what that must have felt like for him 😭 I’m seriously tempted to write a fic exploring everything going through his mind in that moment. If this was a book, I'd want an entire chapter from Elrond's POV, just to know what he was thinking 😭

And! I love the idea of Ulmo saving Elrond!!! I was going to say that when I read your tags on my last answer. There’s something so beautiful about Ulmo quietly watching over Eärendil's family centuries later 🥺 It honestly makes so much sense!!!

[wisteriasymphony]

MORE FUCKING SAMAU LETS GOOOO

Gabriel feared having to tell Adrien he was going to die tomorrow. He'd never been a good father, and that was never by choice. After being told of the situation, Gabriel supposed he wasn't even Adrien's father at all. Despite being three feet taller, despite having white hair and wrinkles... the 'father' and 'son' had been born the very same day, completely separate from each other.

The lack of resemblance had given it away from the very start, he supposed.

They sit in the dark, because the powers that be tend to have more control when things are lit. Gabriel worked to create a meal for Adrien—a real meal, one with steak and potatoes and not a few flimsy pancakes topped with banana. Gabriel had found that meal to be a disgrace, even when he was making it. But his arms had moved on their own.

Adrien kept glancing between the meal and the stranger in front of him. He was surprised he had ever even tried to kill Gabriel, in all honestly—the rage felt ridiculous now. They're not even really related, just like how Adrien and Emilie weren't even really related. ...How does one really become related to another? Adrien cannot and will never be able to comprehend it. His brain isn't suited to conceptualize things like childbirth or marriage licenses—Nobody in his world was written that way.

Adrien pokes at his steak again, taking another piece into his mouth. It takes like sand. ...He doesn't know what sand tastes like, barely knows how it feels. Beaches, if he's ever been to one, feel the same as grass and wood and sidewalk concrete.

"Your cataclysm arm is getting worse," Adrien jokes, rather dryly.

Gabriel can't respond. It hurts that he'll eventually have to.

"...Well, I suppose I won't be worried about it for long. Tomorrow, I'm..."

Gabriel breathes in, unable to feel the air fill the hollow of his chest.

"...Something's wrapping up, Adrien. I'm going with it."

"You're leaving?"

"I suppose I have to," Gabriel laments. "You're giving up your ring tomorrow, right?"

Adrien tries to remember what he'd been told—Not by a voice or through written text, but merely by gut feelings.

"...Yes," he grimaces. He can't see his ring but knows that it's there. "Good riddance."

"All I know so far is that I will try and make the wish, and then I'm gone. Forever." To lighten his own spirits, Gabriel laughs and adds "Maybe they'll send me to New York, too. I'll keep an eye on Chloe while I'm there."

Adrien could only hope that Chloe was somewhere safe, 'New York' or not. As far as he knew, he'd never see her again. Even if her being his childhood friend meant nothing if he never had a childhood... he knew she must been alone there. He knew someone out there had been lying.

"Where's Nathalie?" Adrien asks, hoping to redirect the conversation.

"Asleep." Gabriel takes a bite of potato, chewing silently. "I told her earlier, don't worry. She has her own things to do tomorrow."

If anything, Nathalie is more of Adrien's mother than Emilie ever got the chance to be. Adrien's stomach turns and twists at the notion. He stabs the steak with his fork, using a little more force than he has to.

"Do you think it's possible to love someone you never really knew?"

Gabriel is caught off guard by the question, but he's been plagued by it ever since he learned the truth. Adrien asks it like he's asking someone his own age, which is right. Gabriel is no adult, Gabriel has no answers.

"I don't know, Adrien," he responds. His son—whatever that word even means—isn't happy with this answer.

"I just don't know why you didn't tell me," he grumbles. "Why you didn't ask from the very start if I'd be okay with any of this." It's not even close to what he was wondering, but Adrien pretends the contrary. "I just don't know why I wasn't allowed to be let in on any secret. Why was I chosen as the last person in the world to trust?"

Gabriel remembers having to watch himself akumatize his son not once, but twice. He wants to protest, tell this stranger in front of him that he wasn't even able to think about telling him anything, and that every step closer to death could only bring him comfort in the sense that he would no longer be forced to watch himself hurt and lie, because now he had to think and he had to know it was wrong, and...

"We've all been trapped in our decisions, Adrien," was all he could bring himself to say. "...I'm not really your father, nor will I ever be. But if I was, and if things were different..."

He can't see Adrien in the dark. Can't see himself.

"...I want to believe that I would've told you. At the very least, I would've told you."

[bi-bard]

Such Careful Words That We Can Barely Speak Out Loud - Kaz Brekker Imagine [Shadow & Bone]

Title: Such Careful Words That We Can Barely Speak Out Loud

Pairing: Kaz Brekker X Reader

Based On: The Sea of Atlas

Word Count: 804 words

Warning(s): brief mention of a shit family, Kaz is emotionally unavailable

Summary: The Crows return from their latest job. With Kaz back in Ketterdam, (Y/n) sees no better time for them to discuss what had happened before he left.

Author's Note: This took far too fucking long.

Part One of "June" [Release Date: 7/3/2023]

Part Two of "June" [Release Date: 7/5/2023]

YEARBOOK - SLEEPING AT LAST WRITING CHALLENGE MASTERLIST

-------------------------

I had no true way of knowing when the rest of the Crows were coming back.

I didn't think about that until after Kaz had run out of my home after kissing me. I could have gone days or weeks without getting to have a conversation about the moment between us. Or, worst case scenario, I never got to see him or the other Crows again because the job went completely wrong. And I would never know about it. I would just be left entirely alone with no answers.

I would never fully shake that feeling until there was a knock on my door.

For the third time, Kaz had found his way to my doorstep. Yet this time felt so incredibly different that it felt like the first time.

"Hi," I said. I had a million thoughts going through my head at the time, but that was all that I could get out at the time.

"Hi," he replied. I wondered if he was in the same place as me.

I stepped to the side and let him walk inside. I scanned my eyes along him as he passed. I was expecting more obvious bruises and wounds. They could possibly be hidden by his suit.

"The job went well," he explained without me asking. "Everyone is safe."

I nodded. "Good."

He said that for my sake. He knew my propensity for worrying excessively.

"Did you meet my family?"

"Briefly," he nodded. "When we first walked in, your uncle was greeting the guests. He made sure that he was well known."

I took a deep breath.

"I didn't make myself known," he added. "For your sake."

"What happened to vengeance in my honor?"

"I was prepared to kill him," Kaz confessed. "But I realized that such an act was for you to choose. I had no right to take that from you."

"I see."

"I did find something." he reached into his pocket. When he held out his hand again, there was a brooch sitting in his palm. "There was a room that didn't look like it had been changed in years. I assumed..."

I reached out and took the brooch. "It was my brother's."

"I thought that it would be sufficient for the time being."

I grinned. "Thank you."

He nodded his head once. "I should go-"

"I'd rather you didn't," I stopped him. "We... We need to talk about what happened, Kaz."

He inhaled sharply.

"I can't go back to what we were... I can't pretend that nothing happened."

His eyes left mine, but he made no move to leave at all. I wanted to know what he was thinking. I wanted to be able to hear whatever fear was going through his head. I wanted to know what he was worried about. Because I knew that my mind was riddled with those fears.

"I care about you," I continued, trying to ignore the terrified feeling filling my stomach. "Greatly. I have for a very long time. And I... I am terrified of how I feel about you. I just know that there is every possibility that I will go mad if I ignore it any longer.

"I don't know what you want or how you feel or if that kiss meant anything to you at all. I just... I need to know where we are now."

I glanced down and saw his hand adjust on the top of his cane.

I had spent the last few days thinking about this event. I thought of every single way that this could happen. I thought about what would happen if he ran away again, if he just never showed up, if he told me that he felt the same way as me. It had all played through my head. Some part of me thought that having that mental image would help me more in the long run. It didn't. I was still just as scared as I had been the day that he had stormed out.

I sat in that silence with Kaz until I felt my eyes burning and as if my lungs were struggling to take in air. "I'm sorry. You can go-"

"I do care for you," he cut me off. It was quiet, so full of fear that I could feel the weight sitting on his shoulders. "More than I can explain."

It was ten words. I had heard him say more about a job. And yet, it was easily the most vulnerable I had ever seen him.

I felt a grin forming on my lips. I didn't need anything more from him. That was enough for me. I was certain that we would find more words in time.

And I was right.

All that was needed was for us to be incredibly careful about which words we chose.

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Navigation Guide

What I Write For

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[infiniteetcetera]

ACOTAR COUPLES X TAYLOR SWIFT SONGS

Bc I feel like there is much overlap in these fan bases and bc I can🤧 I tried to include most ships to be inclusive but I fear the ones I don’t like suffered (Nessians beware) ANYWAY:

Feyre X Rhysand

✨High Infidelity

[🎶Do I really have to chart the constellations in his eyes? Do I really have to tell you how he brought me back to life🎶]

✨You Are In Love

[🎶One night he wakes, strange look on his face. Pauses then says, “you’re my best friend,” and you knew what it was, he is in love.”🎶]

✨Invisible String (no one is surprised)

[🎶Time curious time cutting me open then healing me fine. Were there clues I didn’t see? And isn’t it just so pretty to think all along there was some invisible string tying you to me🎶]

✨The Tortured Poets Department (a song about such a pretentious man can’t not be dedicated to Rhys)

[🎶Sometimes I wonder if you’re gonna screw this up with me, but you told Lucy you’d kill yourself if I ever leave, and I had said that to Jack about you so I felt seen. Everyone who knows us knows why it’s meant to be, because we’re crazy🎶]

Feyre X Tamlin

✨Loml (goes both ways tbh)

[🎶Talking rings and talking cradles, I wish I could unrecall how we almost had it all. Dancing phantoms on the terrace are they second hand embarrassed that I can’t get out of bed cause something counterfeits dead🎶]

✨You’re Losing Me

[🎶And I wouldn’t marry me either, a pathological people pleaser who only wanted you to see her, and i’m fading thinking “Do something baby, say something”🎶]

✨Getaway Car

[🎶We were flying but we’d never get far. Don’t pretend it’s such a mystery think about the place where you first met me🎶]

✨Exile

[🎶We always walked a very thin line. You didn’t even hear me out. You never gave a warning sign (I gave so many signs)🎶]

Nesta X Cassian

✨So it goes…

[🎶Cut me to pieces, gold cage hostage to my feelings. Back against the wall, tripping when you’re gone. Cause we break down a little but when you get me alone it’s so simple. 🎶]

✨Mr. Perfectly Fine

[🎶Mr. Every single day until the end I will be by your side, but that was when I got to know Mr. change of heart. Mr. leaves me all alone, I fall apart. It takes everything in me just to get up each day but it’s wonderful to see that you’re okay🎶]

✨Say Don’t Go

[🎶Whyd you have to make me want you? Why’d you have to give me nothing back? Why’d you have to make me love you? I said “I love you” you say nothing back 👀👀👀 🎶]

✨So Long, London

[🎶 you say I abandoned the ship, but I was going down with it, my white knuckled dying grip holding tight to your quiet resentment. and my friends said it isn’t right to be scared every day of a love affair. Every breath feels like the rarest air when you’re not sure if he wants to be there🎶]

Elain X Lucien

✨Cowboy Like Me

[🎶Hustling for the good life, never thought I’d meet you here, and it could be love. We could be the way forward and I know I’ll pay for it🎶]

✨The Lakes

[🎶Take me to the lakes where all the poets went to die, I don’t belong and my beloved neither do you. Those Windermere peaks look like the perfect place to cry. I’m setting off but not without my muse, not without you🎶]

✨Afterglow

[🎶I lived like an island, punished you with silence. Went off like sirens just crying. Why’d I have to break what I loved so much? It’s on your face, don’t walk away🎶]

✨ The Very First Night

[🎶I never go alone, and I don’t seem broken hearted, and my friends all say they know everything i’m going through. I drive down different roads, but they all lead back to you🎶]

Elain X Azriel

✨Guilty as Sin? (obviously, you’re not slick Sarah)

[🎶Crashing into him tonight, he’s a paradox. I’m seeing visions, am I bad? or mad? or wise? What if he’s written “mine” on my upper thigh only in my mind. One slip and falling back into the hedge maze. Oh what a way to die🎶]

✨Ivy

[🎶My pain fits in the palm of your freezing hand, taking mine but it’s been promised to another. Oh, I can’t stop you putting roots in my dream land. My house of stone, your ivy grows, now i’m covered in you🎶]

✨Cardigan

[🎶You drew stars around my scars but now i’m bleeding. Cause I knew you, stepping on the last train marked me like a bloodstain. I knew you, tried to change the ending Peter losing Wendy🎶]

✨Wildest Dreams

[🎶I said “no one has to know what we do” his hands are in my hair, his clothes are in my room. And his voice is a familiar sound. Nothing lasts forever, but this is getting good now. He’s so tall and handsome as hell. He’s so bad but he does it so well . and when we’ve had our very last kiss, my last request it is…🎶]

Gwyn X Azriel

✨So High School (i FEEL this one)

[🎶 Cheeks pink in the twinkling light, tell me about the first time you saw me. I’ll drink what you think and i’m high from smoking your jokes all damn night. The brink of a wrinkle in time, bittersweet sixteen suddenly🎶]

✨ Delicate

[🎶Sometimes when I look into your eyes, I pretend you’re mine all the damn time. Is it cool that I said all that? Is it chill that you’re in my head? Cause I know that it’s delicate🎶]

✨Sweet Nothing

[🎶They say the end is coming. Everyone is up to something. I found myself running home to your sweet nothing. Outside they’re push and shoving, you’re in the kitchen humming. All that you’ve ever wanted from me was nothing🎶]

✨All of the Girls you’ve Loved Before

[🎶Your mother brought you up loyal and kind. Teenage love taught you there’s good in goodbye. Every woman that you knew brought you here, I want to teach you how forever feels🎶]

Nesta X Eris

✨The 1 (like, please😔)

[🎶If my wishes came true, it would have been you. In my defense I have none for never leaving well enough alone. But it would have been fun if you would have been the one🎶]

✨Peace

[🎶I never had the courage of my convictions as long as danger is near. And it’s just around the corner darling, cause it lives in me. No, I could never give you peace. But i’m a fire, and i’ll keep your brittle heart warm, if your cascade ocean wave blues come🎶]

✨Dancing with Our Hands Tied

[🎶You said there was nothing in the world that could stop us, I had a bad feeling. I knew there was no one in the world who could take it, I had a bad feeling. But we were dancing, dancing with our hands tied. Dancing like it was the first time🎶]

✨Enchanted

[🎶Your eyes whispered have we met. Across the room your silhouette starts to make its way to me. The playful conversation starts, counter all your quick remarks like passing notes in secrecy, and it was enchanting to meet you🎶]

Nesta X Azriel (let me have this🙄)

✨Slut!

[🎶Everyone wants him that was my crime, the wrong place at the right time, and I break down and he’s pulling me in. In a world of boys he’s a gentleman🎶]

✨Gorgeous

[🎶You should think about the consequence of your magnetic field being a little too strong. And I got a boyfriend, he’s older than us. He’s in the club doing I don’t know what. You’re so cool, it makes me hate you so much🎶]

✨Seven

[🎶Ive been meaning to tell you, I think your house is haunted. Your dad is always mad and that must be why. I think you should come live with me and we can be pirates, then you won’t have to cry🎶]

✨Begin Again

[🎶You pull my chair out and help me in. You don’t know how nice that is, but I do. And you throw your head back laughing like a little kid. I think it’s strange you think i’m funny cause he never did🎶]

Kallias and Viviane (i love them🤧)

✨Mary’s Song

[🎶I was seven and you were nine. I looked at you like the stars that shines in the sky, the pretty lights. And our daddies used to joke about the two of us, growing up and falling in love. and our mamas smiled and rolled their eyes🎶]

✨Timeless

[🎶And somehow I know that you and I would have found each other, in another life you still would have turned my head. Even if we’d met on a crowded street in 1944 and you were headed off to fight in the war, you still would have been mine we would have been timeless🎶]

✨The Alchemy

[🎶Cheers chanting cause they said there was no chance trying to be the greatest in the league. where’s the trophy? He just comes running over to me🎶]

✨Lover

[🎶Theres a dazzling haze a mysterious way about you dear. Have I know you twenty seconds or twenty years? Can I go where you go? Can we always be this close? Forever and ever🎶]