#i want her and mal to run away from court

[grishaverse-chaos]

I might be in a very small minority here, but I actually really don't want Alina to have a corruption arc in any future seasons of s&b! (Mostly because I hate the trope of victims becoming just like their abusers, and it seems to me that that's where the show is going with her arc)

So here's what I want for her. (Under a cut because it got longer than I thought it would)

I want her to be angry and terrified about her new powers. I want her to be furious that the Darkling gave her his powers - one final act of violation that means she will never be able to forget him, no matter how hard she tries. I want her to be scared, constantly. I want to see her break down in tears after killing the Fjerdan assassin, because she didn't know she had his powers and is she turning into him? I want her to be scared of the adrenaline rush she gets whenever she uses her new powers. To refuse ever to use them again.

I want her to have PTSD. Nightmares. I want to see her wake up in the middle of the night, tears running down her face because she dreamed that the Darkling came back and forced her to train her shadow powers. I want her to reach for Mal only to remember that he's not there anymore - and maybe she wonders, is it her fault he's gone? Maybe he knew that she would turn evil. Maybe, just like the Darkling, she's going to push away everyone she loves.

I want Nikolai to transform into the demon, and Alina to see it and have a panic attack because what if that means the Darkling's back? I want her to talk to Zoya, and ask how she manages to stay so fucking calm all the time. I want Zoya to break down when there's nobody around but Alina, and tell her that even if she seems fine, she's terrified, looking around every corner to check for shadows. I want Zoya to confess that she fears becoming just like the Darkling, and Alina to reply "try having his powers"

I want them to bond over their fear, and each promise to pull the other out if they ever do start becoming like him. I want Alina to retreat further and further from the throne because she doesn't trust herself with power, and Zoya to step forward because even if she doesn't trust herself with power, she wants to test herself, to prove to herself that she is nothing like him.

I want Alina to be completely unstable, to panic every time she's in trouble and has to defend herself. I want her to stop using her Sun Summoning because she's afraid that even that might make her more like him, and I want her to get sick from it. I want her to be on the edge of collapsing at any given moment.

I want Nikolai to not notice a single thing about how Alina's breaking down, because he's busy and has a kingdom to run. I want Alina to scream at him and tell him that he's one of the only people in the whole country who actually gives a shit about her so can he act like it? I want him to look at her for the first time in months and realise that oh shit, his best friend is dying. I want him to write to Mal, begging him to come back, because as much as he wants to be able to save Alina himself, he can't.

I want Mal to come back and tell Alina everything she needs to hear. I want him to convince her that her light is beautiful, that it is nothing like the Darkling's shadows, that she is nothing like him. I want her to bury her face in his chest and break down in tears, because she almost forgot how good he is at saying the right thing when she needs him. I want him to offer to take her away from Court, and her to protest, saying that she can't leave.

I want Mal to stick around, and while he's still there, Alina to tell Zoya about his offer. I want Zoya to tell her to take it, to go while she still can, before the wedding. (And if Zoya's saying this partly because she and Nikolai have gotten closer while Alina's been having her mental breakdown, and she doesn't love the fact that he's engaged to somebody else... well, Alina kind of guessed that anyway. She's happy for them.)

I want her and Mal to run away. Maybe they fake her death, maybe she just leaves. Either way, they don't go back to Keramzin. (That would require them to confront exactly how messed up their childhood had been.) Instead, I want Zoya to suggest something that the Little Palace desperately needs - something she knows the pair of them would be good at.

I want them to start a new orphanage, on the outskirts of Os Alta, for Grisha orphans. The Little Palace simply isn't equipped to handle children who aren't being raised into soldiers, and most Grisha children stay at home now, unless they or their parents want them to learn control over their powers. Grisha orphans, on the other hand, have nowhere to go but the Little Palace - so Zoya and Genya work on creating a school, and the orphans Mal and Alina are raising go there to study every day, then come back home to the orphanage. I want Alina to start using her powers again. Slowly at first - creating little balls of light that she plays with when she's alone. Then I want her to remember how much she loves using her powers, how much joy and euphoria it brings her. I want her to become happy and confident in her powers again, and return to full health. (She won't ever be completely comfortable with the shadow powers she got from the Darkling, but one day she uses them with the kids - making shadow pictures on the wall one evening, and she realises that even with his powers, she can do good. She can make them her own.)

I want the news to spread about this. Do people know that it's the Sun Summoner running the orphanage? Maybe, maybe not. Whether or not they know, the orphanage gets more and more well-known. Otkazat'sya parents decide to send their children there so they can study at the Little Palace. After all, they've heard of the couple that owns it, and they seem trustworthy enough. I want Mal and Alina to recruit a team of Fabrikators to help them build an extension onto the building so there's enough room for all the new arrivals.

I want adult Grisha - rogue Grisha, many of them - to stop at the orphanage if they're in need. Whether they've been injured or fallen ill, they ran out of food, they just need a place to sleep for the night - they come to the orphanage. They know it's safe. Some of them have no home to go back to once they leave. I want Mal and Alina to offer them a permanent place to stay at the orphanage. Almost everybody accepts the offer. Many of them find they have something they can teach the kids - whether that's a special trick you can do with specific Grisha powers, or something else (a dish they love to cook, a sport they played as a child, their favourite place to shop in Os Alta) - the children learn eagerly from each new arrival.

And I want Alina to realise, after a few years, that the orphanage has become a sanctuary for Grisha of all ages. I want her to wonder briefly if that makes her like the Darkling. He'd wanted to create a sanctuary for Grisha. Then I want her to look around at the happy children, at the older Grisha entertaining the younger kids, and realise that she succeeded where he had failed. She and Mal have created a safe place where Grisha aren't being thrown into battle. Sure, some of the children from the orphanage grow up and join the integrated army (the First and Second Armies have been combined into one army. Ravka is stronger together, and that's reflected by the army defending it) - but nobody is ever forced into military service.

I want her to know that, without even meaning to, she has become not only the Darkling's equal, but she has become better than him. She has made the country safer for Grisha. Not him. Her and Mal. She and Mal changed the world. (Again.)

[amethxxt]

i'm ranting about descendants again and this is a long one

Alright, I talked a little bit about this on twitter literally yesterday (https://x.com/amethxxt/status/1798768561613361458) but I wanted to do it here too, so here we are!!

I think everyone has seen these pictures by now. It's from Descendants new book "The World of Auradon: Royals & Villains".

Now, at first, I got really excited (in a way, I still am) because it'll probably give me more material to use in my fics. Also, Uma looks absolutely stunning, so I immediately began reading her page and... Well, it's not the nicest things, right?

Like I said on twitter, I can't be the only one who sees the majorly different ways they talk about Uma and Mal.

With Mal, they start saying she's a "confident natural leader", and like- no, she's not, far from it.

I think the best version we got from Mal was on D1. She was such a good character and that's when I think the writers succeded the most with her - I believe it was hard to find someone who actively disliked or simply hated her.

When D2 came out, things went slightly downhill. Mal's inner conflict of not being the picture perfect Lady of the Court and feeling that the odd one out because she wasn't doing well in Auradon when compared to her friends is very realistic.

The pressure that she was feeling to be perfect and all the new things that came with being the King's girlfriend makes you understand why she was so anxious and wanted to leave. Now, I think we should all understand that this makes Mal a very insecure person.

She's insecure, she's flawed and runs away the first chance she gets because everything becomes too much. And if they wrote her like that, how is she a confident natural leader?

When the Core Four and Ben go after her, it's when things begin to change. Mal has a few moments in this movie: running away and leaving just a note to her best friend, claiming Dizzy was going to be fine when Evie felt sorry about leaving a child in the abusive place they all grew up in, betraying Uma's trust. Yeah.

I'm gonna make it very clear that I really like Mal as a character. I criticize her a lot because the writers started putting her in a pedestal, overpowering her and trying to erase anything that could be seen as bad.

Why would they have Mal apologize for using a love spell on Ben when they make such a cute couple and would be endgame anyways?

It gets worse in D3. I remember watching them announce that Hades was Mal's father and being like "No fucking way" because you want this girl to be not only half-fairy but a half-god?? Was this the only way to have his ember in the story?

Well, I think we got used to that plot after a while, but then - Oh, Mal's also Lady of the Court, she'll be a part of the decisions that concern the Isle of the Lost and a voice for the other VKs.

Yes, Mal is "a confident natural leader" who turns her back on her people and comes up to the idea of closing the Barrier for good to protect Auradon citizens.

Why do they refuse to bring up the fact that it was her idea?? Nevermind the fact that her and Ben weren't married yet, she was not the Queen and had absolutely no power to make that decision. They make Ben so useless, a King with no voice because he's not the main character, right?

So she makes a decision that's not up to her and proceeds to lie to all of her friends, makes empty promisses to both Celia and Uma, and when shit hits the fan, nothing happens.

Having Evie confront her about it is one of my favorite scenes, but what are the consequences? I understand that it was the final movie, but it's so rushed that makes everyone else feel out of character.

Mal and Evie can be the best of friends, but you can't tell me Mal would be like "I was wrong, I have to be a voice for everyone and I shouldn't have lied" and Evie would be just "Ok, perf".

And what about the opposite? When Mal betrays Uma for probably the third time, Uma has no trouble forgiving her? Of course they don't mention what happens in the books, they don't mention Mal trying to hurt Evie (or even get her killed lol) and they don't mention the "shrimpy" incident with Uma.

They don't talk about Mal's wrong doings the same way they talk about Uma.

Uma, according to the new book, is a "confident and resourceful VK with a major mean streak". Sorry, Uma has a mean streak? I don't think so. What Disney and Descendants keep doing is use the definition of a villain for a character who's an antagonist.

Villains have malicious intentions, they are evil. You're gonna tell me the girl who simply wants for all the children to get off the Isle, a place they were forced to live in along with murderers and other criminals, some of those who happened to be their parents, all while surviving off of the garbage that came from Auradon, is the evil one?

That is not to say Uma doesn't make mistakes or does bad things. Mal and Uma have the common point of using a love spell on Ben, which is awful and should be acknowledged as that, but they only do it in Uma's case.

"When Mal and her friends successfully freed Ben, Uma took it one step further by putting Ben under a magic love spell" x "She [Mal] used spells to mess with other students, to convince Ben that he loved her, and to change herself in order to fit in as Ben's girlfriend. But once she realized she needed to ditch the spell book and learn to survive without magic, she was able to become the queen she was always meant to be"

Those... are not the same to me. They detail every thing Uma does during D2, making it clear that using a love spell was worse than the previous actions of kidnapping him, but with Mal it almost feels like they excuse her actions because, eventually, she learned that magic wasn't the way to become who she was meant to be.

Also, what do you mean Mal felt guilty about the other VKs who were left behind? Mal didn't even look sad when her and Evie were leaving Dizzy behind! Evie was the one to come up with the idea to bring more children to Auradon, and when that magically turned into the VK Day (my arch-nemesis plotline along with Merlin Academy), she didn't look worried at all that it would them so long to free all the kids if they were going to pick 4 each time.

And again, her idea to close the Barrier for good (with no way in or out) would mean that eventually, everyone left in the Isle would die. I know it's Disney, and they would never make that happen, but if you're not going in to even leave your trash there (aka their food source), yeah, they're all dying.

Now, with Uma, they point out how she wanted to escape and get revenge on Mal, but like...... not really? Of course she mentions in D2 how she wants Mal's new turf and tries to make a deal with her to leave with her crew, but when she's actually free and we get into D3, it's been months (I think) and while Auradon's scared she's going to do something, we find out Uma spent all that time looking for a hole in the Barrier to get the kids out.

When she makes another deal to help Mal, all she asks for is the guarantee that every kid who wants to leave the Isle is able to do so. Who breaks that promise? The "villain" with the major mean streak or the confident natural leader?

I'm not saying that Mal is real villain, because she's really not. But she's far from how they describe her and if you're gonna tell me she's a natural leader, I better not see her bringing down the Barrier, letting both the kids and villains out, and acting like it's the right thing to do.

VK Day wasn't the answer to free the innocents, but bringing down the Barrier isn't it either! Mal doesn't "help convice Auradon citizens to accept all VKs into Auradon Prep" she just decides to do that lol

And again, that decision is not up to her, she had no legal right to do it. She was just Lady of the Court and nothing else.

Like I said on twitter, Disney and Descendants like Uma because she's a fan favorite, she was one since they announced her as a character. But they insist on the idea that Auradon changed her for the better, as if she was never someone who fought for what was right. She's not perfect either, but they can't write about her in a way that makes her look better than Mal.

How did Mal stop her at the end of D2? Mal didn't do anything, they were fighting, Ben made a speech, Uma turned around and left. That was it.

How did Auradon transform her? Of course they are implying that because of Rise of Red and her becoming the new principal, and even though this plot still kinda confuses me, it still seems like all the wants is for Auradon to be a fair place that doesn't discriminate against anyone.

I now this is getting too long, but I really like ranting about descendants. It's my comfort franchise but there's so many things wrong with it lol

And I also know I'm probably looking too deep into it, but I don't think I'm the only one who sees the ways Disney has always treated Uma and Mal differently.

I want to get this book and see if there's anything else about them. I really wished Disney and Descendants treated Uma better, though.

[ultracreativelywritten]

Descendants Headcanons

While all of the kingdoms are united, each of the smaller regions are still ruled by their respective royalty. In places like Charmington, I see it has multiple rulers that work together.

Out of all the royals, Kuzco and Snow White are taken the least seriously. They are seen how they were in their respective stories instead of how they are now, adults in their thirties.

I see Snow and her prince being divorced in the Descendants franchise. It’s not advertised, and Snow drives from her kingdom to Charmington for her reporting job. If it wasn’t for that job, she would rather not be there.

The Dwarves help run Snows kingdom. I see her turning to them after the divorce and they all have high ranking advising jobs in the kingdom.

Snow dose not hold Evie accountable for the Evil Queen’s actions, and gives her the biggest hug when Doug brings her home to meet the family. Snow sees how happy she makes Doug, and that’s all she needs to know about her to accept her.

Kuzco and Snow also have the most protected state forests in the kingdom. Snow wanted a place for all the magical animals to live without fear as the other kingdoms developed more and more while Kuzco knew that overdevelopment would destroy the beauty his kingdom. Both kingdoms have seen an influx of people who want to live simpler lives or lives that reflected what they used to do before the United States of Aurudon was created.

Kuzco was 100% against sending people to the isle. Like, some people only worked for the villains because they really needed a job. His best example would be Kronk, who is a sweet soul and could do no real evil.

For the heroes that didn’t come from royalty and then married into royalty had quite a hard time adjusting to being in a world of politics and royal courts. Most times they focus on being a voice for the people who have to deal with the fallout of their leader’s decisions.

Eugene and Aladdin are best friends when it comes to boring meetings and political parties. They like to steal each others stuff the entire time and by the end they give everything back. There are things that both have noted as off limits in their unspoken rules of the game. When the two were first starting the game Jasmine was mortified while Rapunzel was happy that Eugene is making friends.

Jay wants to play the game with Eugene and Aladdin but Evie won’t let him.

Eugene, Aladdin, and Cinderella are the most likely to take things from the hotel. Cindi will stick to things like soap or pens, but Eugene and Aladdin will take anything not nailed down that they can sneak past their wives.

Eugene has pens and paper pads on him at all time so Rapunzel can doodle whenever she wants. All of these items are off limits in the game, because they aren’t his they are his wife’s.

Rapunzel and Mal love talking about different types of art at royal events, and Rapunzel has invited Mal to Corona so they can work on a Mural together. Eugene has given Ben the wisest advice about always having art supplies on him.

For Mother’s Day, Eugene works hard on making Rapunzel duck tape and paper flower pens because he knows she would like them more than real flowers. Rapunzel refuses to throw any of them away. She stores them in a special vault. May their be mercy on any poor soul that tries to break in and try to steal any of them.

Dude is very protective of Carlos, and barks at any dogs that try to get near him. As a stray who found a loving boy, he would protect this boy to the very end. Even against things that are not a threat.

I see Rodger Radcliffe being Aurudon prep’s music teacher and brings some of the Dalmatians during midterms and finals as a way to help out kids that are stressed.

Anita Radcliffe sees how talented Evie is and would support her business as a fellow designer.

I do want to talk more about these Headcanons as well as develop some aus for this series. Feel free to ask me anything about these or the aus I want to develop.

[little-teacupss]

Their good fairy

Maleficent x Fay x Hades

Note: If you don't like the ship, you don't have to read this, criticism is welcome, but I also believe you can critize something nicely without being a prick about it, anyway this is an underrated ship that me and another tumbler were talking a little bit about, and I hope you enjoy!

Warnings: bullying, AK and VK relationships, and poly

Summary: Hades, Maleficent, and Fay go through the hardships of hiding their relationship and also dealing with being on different sides

Note 2: a bit of the dialogue comes from the actual movie part two here

part three - part one of castlecoming

Part three - part two of castlecoming

___________________________________________

Fay let out a sigh as she continued to hopelessly wave her wand around as she repeated bibbidi-bobbidi-boo, over and over, never getting the results she hoped for, what she didn't notice was two girls appear simultaneously out of no where and stare at her as she says

"Bibbidi-bobbidi-boo?"

She says with pursed lips, her brows furrowing as nothing happens, Fay then repeats bibbidi-bobbidi-boo again. This time, her wand sparkles as she waves it around. As she flicks her wand, the book jumps out of her hands and onto the concrete in front of the two girls who appeared suddenly

"No, I wanted to speed read, not for my reading to speed."

Fay says to herself as she quickly makes her way over, attempting to pick up her book, which jumps away from her as she tries to grab it. She looks up to the two girls who are staring at her in shock, "Hi, excuse me where did everybody go?"

The blue haired one asked while looking around in confusion, Fay gives the girl a weird look as she picks her book up

"Everywho?"

The blue haired girls eyes widen, and she then continues."All the royal families of Auradon they were just here?"

Fay purses her lips as she looks at the two girls with a confused look, as she has been the only person outside and has no clue what the blue haired girl is talking about

"What's Auradon?"

Fay says before letting out a gasp. As her book goes flying from her arms and down the hall, the group stare in the direction the book goes

"I have to go catch my homework!"

Fay quickly replies before running off down the hallway, the two girls are left staring in shock as she runs away

"I swear what is wrong with this wand."

Fay says to herself as she continues to chase the book that had a head start down different hallways before making it to the court ward, the book makes it to near the fountain before a green mist lifts it up

"Lose something?"

A teasing tone can be heard from the darkened corner of the courtyard, as the book is floated towards Fay before being plopped into her arms

"You could say that."

Fay answers as she looks up and sees Maleficent and Hades sitting on a bench table close to where the VK's hang out in the courtyard, Hades looks up to Fay, "What went wrong this time?"

Fay lets out a sigh as she takes a seat on the edge of the waterfountain, and flicks her wand around, "The usual, I say 'Bibbidi-bobbidi-boo' and it doesn't workout how I planned."

As she said bibbidi-bobbidi-boo, her wand lights up and shoots a firework into the air, to which Fay fums in response, "Really now you decide to work."

She says as she waves the wand around in front of her clearly frustrated with how things have gone, she hears a hum

"At least your able to cast spells even if it's not the kind of spell you hoped for?"

Maleficent said awkwardly to try and bring comfort to the other fairy, to which Hades nods along to as he stares at Fay, "You've done well, so far you even managed to get a better score then Marywheather."

Fay nodded as she looked down at her lap, "Thanks, I just don't understand, Mal, you have perfect control over your powers, and the other fairies like Marywheather, Flora, and Fauna, they can cast any spell they please."

Fay said as she rants about how amazing everyone else is at having control over their abilities, while she fumbles every time

Before Maleficent or Hades could say anything they hear in the distance

"Cause the sunshines a little more brightly."

The two give a nod to Fay before walking off into the darker part of the courtyard and disappear into the overgrowth, while Fay makes her way to a bench and sits down while reading her book, then Bridget, Ella, and the two new girls make their way towards her and Bridget holds out her tray, "Guess I'm here for a spell, even though it really never works out well for me, one wave of my wand and it's whoopsie."

Fay says as she closes her book, waving her wand around, before taking a cupcake, biting into it, causing her wand to turn a bright pink color

Once their group is done singing the VK's come out from the overgrowth

"Look for a hand, find a golden hook, Captain of the seas, I got em all shook."

James Hook says as he leads with his hook forward towards the crowd of AK's, then Morgie pops out."Son of Morgana, Serpentine, Morgie's the name better run and hide."

Then Hades and Maleficent walk into view together, "Hades here from the fiery depths."

"Sharp as a thorn I'm Maleficent."

Then Hook and Morgie go to the center together to introduce Uliana, the little sister of Ursula

"I'm not your everyday villain, I'm taking souls for living."

Fay purses her lip as she looks between Hades and Uliana before focusing back on Uliana's introduction, she finishes the introduction and the two new girls look around before Bridget says, "She's Ursula's baby sister."

Fay watches from the back as both groups circle each other, the VK's trying to intimidate the AK's while the AK's try to bring the VK's to the good side, then Uliana's focus shifts to the plate of cupcakes and Bridget holds them out towards her."Thanks."

"Oh sure, of course, happy too."

Uliana smirks as she allows her tentacles to come out of her back, "For all."

The crowd watches as Uliana uses her tentacles to snatch the tray from Bridget, the group of girls around her gasping, Uliana chuckles a she lifts the tray close to her hand, "I mean flamingo feathers are like super rare right?"

Ella steps forward and infront of Bridget, giving Uliana a glare

"Hey, give that back to her!"

To which Uliana cackles and answers, "Sorry, I don't speak peasant, love your oufit, by the way. it's just so put together."

Uliana then uses her tentacle to rip the sleeve of Ella's jean outfit she'd sowen for herself

Fay's eyes travel from them to Hades and Maleficent, giving them a pointed look, as Hades circles around the group of girls before making his way back to Maleficent, she then looked to Charming to see his reaction before turning her head back to the scene of chaos as Uliana continues

"My names Bridget, and I need to bribe people with treats to make people be my friends because im such a loner."

The other blue haired girl steps forward with a sword pointed a group, which Hook simply moves away with his hook and moves closer to her

"I don't know where you come from, but around here we don't fight till after school, met me then?"

The girl pushes him away and crosses her arms, "You wouldn't stand a chance."

The group of VK's laughs, then the red-haired girl steps forward, "Listen squidface give the cupcakes back or I'll rip that magic tongue out of your throat."

Uliana tsks, "Girl, I only wanted the feathers you can have the rest."

She says and drops the plate, leaving the cupcakes smashed onto the ground, Bridget narrows her eyes and purses her lips as she watches Uliana slowly bring the flamingo feathers to her mouth

"Wait! That's too many."

Uliana simply giggles in response and swallows the feathers before looking at the group of AK's with a deviously grin and snaps her fingers, while Bridget wears a worried look, "You shouldn't of done that."

Uliana side eyes her as she brings out a little mirror and starts preening herself, "I'm sorry, you're just jealous of my fabulosity."

Nobody notices the bits of pink that appear in her eyelashes as she preens herself and continues, "You can't handle my-"

Before Uliana could finish, she let's out a bird like noise as feathers come from her mouth. In shock, she brings a hand to her mouth, her eyes widening, as she slowly turns pinker, gasps can be heard, then she says, "What was that."

Before letting out screams and falling to the ground, turning pinker by the second, Fay, watching the situation unfold

"Somebody should help her!"

Fay says as she steps forward and closer to the group, Hades looks up at her and then brings a finger up, "Yeah, somebody should help her."

He said in a bored tone as Maleficent lightly hit him on the chest, giving him a look before looking back a Fay for a moment before her eyes go back to Uliana, watching as Morgie falls back with Uliana's jacket as he tried to help her

When Uliana finally gets back up, she's entirely pink from her hair to having pink feathers all over her face and a long beak. She glares at Bridget and makes a bird like noise before she begins to chase the two girls. The entire crowd follows behind them to watch, more of the chaos unfold

As the crowd finally gets there, they watch as Uliana chases closely behind Ella and Bridget, then Maleficent and Hook pop out of one of the corridors, "Hello Darling! I just want to have a little chat with your friend."

Morgie and Hades pop out of the other corridor but are more laid back and simply watch the scene, Uliana chases Bridget around the fountain before they both hop up along the edge, it's only when Ella pulls Bridget back to her that Uliana falls over loosing her balance, when she resurfaced she was completely back to normal, but soaked, "This isn't over!"

Uliana runs away through one of the corridors screaming while the crowd bursts out laughing before everyone leaves in separate direction, still talking about it, but going about their business

Fay walks over to Maleficent and Hades, who are now seated at one of the picnic tables in the corner

"Why did you let her do that?"

She questioned as she took a seat across from them. They both looked at each other before looking back at Fay across from them

"What would us saying anything do?"

Maleficent answers as she fiddles with the collar of Hades jacket, "Fay, we all have roles to play."

He says to her as they hold eye contact, before Fay looks down and nods

"Don't worry about it, she'll get over it nothing bad will happen."

He tries to reason to smooth things over with the upset fairy

"If you say so."

Fay crosses her arms before sighing, and it had been a long day of messing up spells and then watching a verbal brawl take place, Maleficent smiles and reaches her hand over to Fay and squeezes her arms gently

"Why don't after school we met up at the enchanted lake?"

Maleficent asked in an aloof manner, trying to hide her excitement, Hades looked at the two back and forth before nodding along to the idea

"Yeah, it's been a while since we've had time with just the three of us."

The two VK's lean forward both trying to hide their excitement, but their eyes told different stories as they were glued on Fay's brown ones

"Alright, but after school, I can't get caught skipping, my mother would kill me."

The two nod while they try not to break out into big smiles, to which Fay smiles at the two as they try to keep their cool facade up

"See you then."

Fay answers as she leaves, as the two plan out what they'll do at the enchanted lake

___________________________________________

Okay, i had no idea how to leave it off, so this may have a part two. If you all want to see that, anyways have a wonderful day, and enjoy the story!

@giveityourworst

[bedtimegiraffe]

Putting Aerin Back in Book 2 Mini Fics

I'm fascinated by the idea of Aerin not leaving, but not enough to transcribe and modify like 8 chapters. So here are some highlights of how I think it would go if Aerin had somehow decided to stick around. Including Nia yelling at his ass like she deserves!

All sections except for first two stand on their own pretty easily, so if you just want to skip ahead to a scene you're thinking about, I'm not gonna tell you no.

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Chapter 9

Zaradun Prison Cell

You're still trying to find a way out of your incredibly unfair imprisonment when an unfamiliar voice speaks up in the dark. "You're not from around here, huh?" You peer through the dim lighting and find a young dwarven woman reclining on the floor of the cell across from yours. Her eyes glow like the woman in the market's, framing her confident smile. Aerin smirks at her. "Whatever gave us away?" The woman gives a daring smile back. "You develop a sense for these things. Gotta say, I didn't expect to have any company tonight. It's refreshing. I'm Cherta, by the way." "I'm Raine, and these are my friends Tyril, Nia, Mal, Imtura, and Aerin." You catch the way Aerin's head turns toward you, his eyes wide. But his expression is neutral again before you can comment and Cherta continues on. "Well, Raine and friends, what are you in for?"

Chapter 10

Zaradun Crypts

As you all make your way through a thankfully undead-free section of hallway, Aerin turns to you with a teasing smile. "It seems I skipped right past 'acquaintance.' Or was it simply becoming too much of a hassle to introduce me separately?" Despite his tone, you can tell there's a real question under there. (Friendly Route) You smile at him. "Why so surprised? You've kept not betraying us. And you always struck me as ambitious. I can't see you settling for less than 'friend.'" Aerin smirks. "Ah yes, the ambition that has served us all so well." "You won't settle when things could be better. That's a good thing. We're trying to save the world here, Aerin." His smile turns somewhat genuine at that as he looks away. "I suppose I can take your word for it. You have done quite well for yourself, after all." (Romance Route) You lean in, smiling seductively as you run a finger across his jaw. "I think we're well past 'acquaintances.' Give me another performance like you did at the festival and we'll see what other titles you can work your way up to." Aerin shivers slightly, looking at you hungrily despite the faint blush rising in his cheeks. "Well if that's all it takes… I do believe I have some rather good ideas for how to further impress our indominable leader, when next they have time for me." "I think I can spare a little time now." You lean forward eagerly and press your lips to his. Aerin tangles his hands in your hair as his tongue brushes into your mouth. But far too soon, he pulls away. You pout at him. "What, that's all I get?" "Raine, we are in the middle of a haunted crypt." You grin at him. "Such lofty standards, your highness." Aerin laughs fondly, shaking his head.

Zaradun

As the group discusses if you should let Cherta go off on her own, Aerin subtly motions you aside. You follow him a short distance away before he turns to you with concern. “Raine, this may not be a good idea.” "You don't think we can trust her?" "Whether she is being honest with us about her intentions may not matter." Aerin lets out a shaky exhale, his eyes not quite meeting yours. "It’s… Cherta is desperate and about to use a very powerful magical artifact. Surely you can understand why that might be a disastrous combination.” You nod slowly, thinking back to last year. "Maybe I should go with her." Aerin looks relieved. “That seems like a wise idea.”

Chapter 11

Zaradun Temple

Tyril hasn’t relented at all, still glaring furiously at the dwarven elder. "We have seen the corruption Shadow magic has caused, among the Shadow Court and those they influenced." You try to soften Tyril's approach a little, though it doesn't seem like that's going to work. "We were warned that Zaradun had fallen to the same corruption." Elder Radimir regards you calmly. "Were you now? Do I appear corrupted, child?" Nia speaks up next. "I don't sense anything wrong with him. To be honest, I haven't sensed any Shadow corruption since we got here." Tyril gestures angrily. "There are ways to hide it. We saw that much with Aerin." Aerin stands his ground, clearly suppressing frustration. "Have you considered that they may not be corrupted? That there is some possibility things are a bit more nuanced than you were taught?" Aerin's got a point. "You said Shadow corruption was reversible, right?" He nods at you with certainty. "It is." Tyril turns on Aerin, rage still plain on his face. "But you can't tell us how." Aerin takes a deep breath before meeting Tyril's gaze. "Knowing what happened and being able to convey it are different." Tyril snarls. "How convenient." Aerin looks away at that, something brittle in his gaze as he seems to struggle with himself. When he doesn’t respond, you jump in instead. "If Aerin’s not ready to talk about it, we have to respect that.” Tyril looks at you for a moment before turning back on the dwarven elder. "And what about siphoning the Light from the prisoners to power your city's torches? How can you defend that?"

Chapter 12

Shadow Realm

Now that Valax is restrained, your party turns its attention to Nia's Shadow form. Mal looks at her in shock. "What the hells happened to Nia?" Before you can speak, Tyril takes an angry step forward, his sword still drawn. "It seems the Dreadlord has possessed her again." Aerin stares at Nia in horror, his face pale. "No. No, the Dreadlord is dead. But she is-" Nia interrupts him. "At least one of you can think straight." Imtura raises her axes. "You won't take her from us. Not again!" Then she charges! You and Aerin both throw yourselves in front of Nia. "Wait, wait!" "Stop!" Tyril doesn't relent, his tone commanding. "Both of you, get out of the way. We must deal with this!" Aerin turns to him, hands still raised. "Tyril, I can't imagine my word means much to you, but I understand corruption and the Dreadlord's influence very well. Nia is corrupted but she is still on your side." You immediately back him up. "It's just some lingering magic left over from the Dreadlord. Being in the Shadow Realm triggers it. It's still her, I promise."

Ironbreach

As you look up from your task to see how everyone else is doing fixing up Ironbreach, you spot Aerin staring at Nia as she stands off to the side, arms crossed petulantly. After a long pause, Aerin strides over to get her attention. “Nia?” She turns sharply to look at him, like he interrupted her doing something terribly important. “What?” “I wish to speak with you. About your corruption.” Nia practically growls at him in response. “Are you finally going to admit it's your fault? That all of this is your fault? That you dragged me crying and begging to the damn Dreadlord until Raine had to kill me?!" Despite the fury and Shadow radiating off of Nia, Aerin doesn't look scared of her. Just... sad. "I'm sorry, Nia. For everything I did. You're right. All of this started with me. And I am doing everything in my power to fix it, but... I know it may never be enough." The Nia you know would reassure him. Genuinely comfort Aerin that the trying is what matters and he can choose to be different. But this... is not that Nia. She leans in, snarling up at him. "Do you know what it's like to die, Aerin?" He flinches at that, but she keeps going. "I couldn't stop you then. But because of what you did to me, I'm not vulnerable anymore. I am not the weak one. So if you try to hurt me or anyone else, ever again, I will end you." The Shadow around Nia twists and flares as she speaks, reaching menacingly toward Aerin. His eyes flash with fear for a moment, but he doesn't move away. "I understand. But you should know that when I say you have always been strong, I am not speaking metaphorically. Of your character or your heart. The Dreadlord did not want me to take you because you were kind or trusting or vulnerable. It was because you were one of the most powerful magic users he'd ever seen." Nia looks surprised by that, the Shadow retreating slightly as she tries to judge if Aerin is telling the truth. "...Really?" He looks back at her intensely. "Yes. He was frightened of what you'd be if he couldn't control you. Of what you could do with Shadow if you chose. Just..." Aerin's face falls, his posture resigned and vulnerable, like there's an invisible weight on him that he can never put down. "I know this is impossible to ask. But try not to lose control of yourself. Hold tightly to what it is you truly care about, because if you don't... Well, I would hate to see you in my position. You don't deserve that." Nia looks at him for a long moment. "I am not some selfish idiot who thinks he knows better than everyone else. I've trained to use magic my whole life. So stay out of my way." Then she walks off. Aerin sighs, running a hand through his hair. He looks after her with concern for a moment before walking back toward Ironbreach's small garden.

Chapter 15

At Sea

Aerin is standing awkwardly near the back of the ship, like he can't shake the feeling he's in someone's way, when Nia approaches him pensively. “I want to apologize for what happened in the Shadow-” Aerin puts a hand up. “Nia, you really don’t have to. Certainly not to me.” She shakes her head. “I was cruel to you and you don't deserve that. I'm sorry. I didn't mean those things." Aerin gives her a searching look. "Really? You haven't been waiting over a year to say all that?" "I... No, I don't feel that way." Nia looks down. "Because nothing you said was wrong. I played a significant part in starting all of this. And you have suffered from my selfish mistake more than anyone else. You have every right to be angry with me." Nia's voice is small when she responds. "I hate how good it felt to be angry.” Aerin nods sympathetically. “I know.” “I’m sorry, Aerin. You tried to warn me but I lost control and people got hurt, just like you said." Aerin pauses to think for a moment. "You also bound Valax to Raine. If you hadn't..." A haunted look flashes across Aerin's face before he can return to his usual wry mask. "Well, I am certainly not a strong enough swimmer to think I could have done any good diving in after Raine during that storm." Nia nods slowly, conflict still clear on her face. Neither moves to speak again, the moment fading into almost comfortable silence. Then Nia brings her hand up toward a gash on Aerin's arm. "You don't have to-" She smiles slightly, Light glowing brilliantly at her fingertips. "I want to." "…Thank you." "You're welcome."

Chapter 17

Whitetower Palace

Allies recruited, you find yourself back in the palace with the rest of your party, meeting with King Arlan. After confirming that you will have the support of Whitetower's armies, he looks Aerin over coldly. "When you asked that I release the prisoner, I did not anticipate you would bring him back." He has a faint look of disgust. You look at the king in confusion. "Why wouldn't we bring him back?" The king's response is matter of fact. "Surely you've realized the reality of the situation by now. The boy is quite useless without his brother. I assumed he would be eaten by some wild creature within a day or two." The king sounds almost... disappointed that Aerin is still here. Mal snarls under his breath. "So much for the 'Gentle King.'" Annoyance or concern flickers across your friend’s faces. Except Aerin. He just looks directly at his father, a perfectly neutral expression on his face. When he speaks, his tone is unquestionably polite, but you can hear the sarcastic bite under the surface. "Indeed, however would I have survived this long without the support of my generous and loving family?" The king turns on Aerin with a slight grimace, but Nia jumps in smoothly with a distraction. "Your Majesty, you must warn your forces that the enemy will be using a lot of Shadow Magic. The Temple will heal all we can, but..."

Whitetower Encampment

A small campfire flickers just beyond the treeline, and you're shocked to find Aerin and Willow with only a few other goblins. "Willow, where is everyone else? Did something happen?" They look at you sadly. "A toxin poisons our roots. Sourceless. Unknown. Many wither, too weak for a journey." Aerin looks at you, somewhat exasperated, like he's been trying to solve a puzzle with a missing piece for days. "It doesn't make any sense. The Deadwood is far less habitable than the Whimsywood in general, but nothing else is affected. Their trees are fine, as are the remaining flora. The goblins are so heavily tied into their environment, I don't understand why they would be singled out." Willow looks at Aerin with a sad small smile before turning back to you. "It seeps deeper each day, even in those who have come. But you are friends of the forest. We shall stand beside you." You give the goblins what help you can before continuing. "Just try not to overexert yourselves. Once the battle is over, we can look into what's making you all sick. I'm sure Aerin can help." Willow smiles brightly at you. "The spring of your kindness still flows strong as a river, Raine. And yours, Aerin." But Aerin looks sad. "Of course, I would love to help. But... I do have something of a prior obligation." Right, he's technically your prisoner. But... "You know, I imagine the battle will be pretty chaotic. Maybe we'll just... lose track of you." Aerin looks at you in shock, like he's sure he misheard you. "What?" You look at him seriously. "Aerin. No one benefits from you being locked away. You can do a lot of good in the world. You just need a chance to do it." He scans your face intensely before a smile grows on his face. "I certainly hope so."

(Romance Route) As you walk back toward the tents, Aerin calls out to stop you. "Raine, wait a moment." He quickly catches up, before turning his serious gaze on you. "I want to thank you." You smile at him. "Aerin, not sending you back to a cell is really not that big of an ask. Especially considering that it might be the end of the world." He smiles back fondly. "I am grateful for that, but I meant something else. You changed me, Raine. You and your friends." His cheeks flush suddenly, and he looks at the ground. "I spent so much of my life chasing power, and all it ever brought me was pain and bitterness. I know I still have a lot of work to do to even try to make up for the wrong of my past, but... I have been thinking a great deal about... us." The way he says the word fills your chest with warmth. "Us?" Aerin finally meets your eyes again. "Yes. I know there are a thousand things that require your attention and it's selfish of me to ask for more of your time. But if you would like, when the camp is quiet... Come see me. Please." He looks at you with intense longing. Like part of him is certain you'll say no, but he desperately hopes you won't. You reach out, taking Aerin's hand with a smile. "For you... I'll make time."

[descendantofthesparrow]

POYW Rewrite V2 - Harry Hook x reader - P16 - Epilogue

=

Uma stared blankly at the busted TV screen of her mother's restaurant, a simmering hatred running through her as she watched Maleficent’s traitor daughter hang onto the king of Auradon’s arm, flushed and smiling-her plum purple hair tied back into a loose bun with her bangs flowing out.

It had been three months already.

Three months since the coronation, three months without a word from her “Friends”, three months without an invitation, three months of watching Harry hold hands with that-new girl-smiling and laughing without a care in the world.

Three months of slowly losing hope that they would keep their promise.

Uma didn’t want to believe they abandoned her, Harry had been her closest companion since they could walk, and Gil never thought twice about following the two around-even if he did drift away sometimes, he always came back.

But…he hadn’t come back yet, and neither had Harry.

It had been three months and Uma was losing hope.

“Honestly, why you even continue to watch this trash is beyond me Uma,” Uma glared at the voice she heard, not even turning her head to look at him. “Fuck off Barbossa,” Uma snapped, but Davy Barbossa only laughed, crossing his arms as he leaned against the table, grinning sharply at the TV, which was still showing King Ben and Mal-who was rumored to become the lady of the court.

“Didn’t Hook ask king beast boy to bring you and his sisters over? Wonder what happened with that plan?” Davy said ‘absentmindedly’, hiding his grin behind his hand as he tapped his nose in ‘thought’, his grin widening as he heard Uma smack down a tray of food she had been holding while lost in thought.

“mm-hmm,” Uma just hummed, not wanting to talk about it, refusing to talk about it to someone she didn’t trust in the slightest. Besides, as far as she knew-things like that took time, she had no clue how long it took Ben to get the first six vks over, for all she knew-it was three months' worth of time to get everything ready.

“Honestly, it’s been three months, I can't imagine things take this long, just to get three people off the isle.” Davy said, still watching the TV, grinning as some reporters captured Harry Hook and (y/n) walking together around school, holding hands. (y/n) flipped them off and Harry laughed, tossing his head back.

Davy turned, seeing Uma staring hard at the screen. She was jealous-she would never admit it, because why would she be? She didn’t like Harry, they were just friends, and she shouldn’t be jealous of some girl Harry was now dating. She and Harry didn’t feel that way about one another, they were just friends, just friends.

It wasn't like they had each other's back since they could remember, it wasn’t like they had been each other's closest companion since they were 2, it wasn’t like Harry had stuck by her through her toughest moments(shrimpy, her broken leg, pneumonia), it wasn’t like they had promised to never betray the other(they had).

Uma didn’t feel betrayed, not at all…not at all.

“If I were you, I would scorn them both and declare war, I’d even help if you wanted it.” Davy said, clearly having been talking for a bit but Uma hadn’t been listening-she never found his words worthwhile anyway. Not when Harry was around, not when Harry would scoff and come up with a better plan, or fire back with quick quips and a sharp grin partnered with his hook.

“Shut it,” Uma finally snapped, having enough of this repetitive talk. This was the 5th time Davy had come into her space to taunt her about her boys, and Harry’s new girl. Davy just chuckled, holding up his hands in defeat, giving another glance to the tv-seeing Uma’s eyes simmer with anger as it continued to show Harry and (y/n), still smiling, still holding hands.

“All right, all right, whenever you're ready to face the fact that they abandoned you, you know where to find me.” Uma glared at Davy as he left the chip shop and she felt a low growl at the back of her throat. She undid her apron and threw it on the table, holding her head between her hands-staring at the tv screen that seemed to finally go from Harry and his girl to Mal and Ben, who were also smiling so sickly sweet that made Uma want to punch them.

It had been three months, and if Uma had to wait any longer-they would regret it. They would regret ever abandoning her.

-end of poyw rewrite 2.0-

Welp, there it is, I feel like there should’ve been more to this-but I’ve really lost my mojo for Harry again, idk; sorry. But yeah, Uma’s mad, feeling abandoned, she wants to believe that she isn’t-but with nothing coming from her best friends, and seeing them so happy without her in Auradon-and a devil whispering in her ear-it’s hard not to fall into darkness without her lights.

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R!poyw v2 taglist!

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[mal-urameshi]

Now mal… I’m afraid you’ve been DEVOURING lately but if there’s one thing I NEEEED it’s the queen scolding shuri for not ‘courting’ Riri properly thank yewww 😗

Chronicles of Mama Okoye and Riri! IX

Courting with Honor

"Get over here!" The only thing keeping both girls apart was Shuri's bed.

Riri braced her arms on the mattress as she carefully observed Shuri's movements while trying to catch her breath. The other girl was on a mission and Riri didn't want it to be a success, "Never! My mom will kill me!"

"Oh, and mine won't?"

Shuri sucked her teeth in annoyance and rushed to the foot of the bed, hoping she was fast enough to get to Riri's side.

Riri quickly scrambled onto the mattress to get to the other side but Shuri grabbed her ankles and dragged Riri back to her. Quickly, Shuri pinned Riri to the bed with her wrists on either side of her head.

"Let me go, Shuri!" Riri squirmed under Shuri's weight. She bucked her hips upward, hoping it would knock the girl's equilibrium off, but all Shuri did was clench her thighs tighter around her.

Shuri laughed, "The blood of the Black Panther runs through my veins! Did you really think you could escape, eh?"

Riri squeezed her eyes shut with a laugh, "Gosh, you're so...ugh!"

Shuri's eyes raked over Riri's neck before she dipped her head to lightly nip and suck on the tender flesh.

Riri sharply inhaled and braced her hands on Shuri's shoulders as she tried to keep herself quiet.

"Shit, Shuri..." Riri panted as her girlfriend finished up.

Shuri raised her mouth off of Riri's neck to admire her handiwork, "There." She gently caressed the deep purple bruise, "Now we're matching."

Riri stared up at Shuri with a dazed expression.

"It kind of looks like a heart if you squint. I'm sure I can make a better one if I try again." She dipped her head again but Riri quickly shoved her away, which caused Shuri to laugh.

Both girls had found themselves snuggling under the Acacia in the Citadel's greenery.

"You wanna come over tomorrow?" Riri asked absentmindedly while playing with Shuri's fingers before linking them with hers.

"You know I'd never turn down coming over." Shuri played with one of the loose coils of Riri's crown. It was one of the few times she just wore her fro out and Shuri definitely loved playing with the soft locs.

"You should let me braid your hair some time, it's been a while since I got to do that."

"I gotta wash it first." Riri blinked up at Shuri, "But the way you be tugging on it so much, I thought you'd have preferred it out."

Shuri used a palm to cover her face, "Riri, stop!"

The shorter girl laughed and pressed a kiss to her cheek.

Shuri didn't respond to the peck and this caused Riri to sit up, "What? So you angry now?"

Shuri just shrugged which caused Riri to kneel and hug Shuri, "It's true though."

"Bast, Riri!" Shuri blushed and dipped her head which made Riri press a few kisses to her cheeks again.

Shuri then raised her head, "Okay I wasn't really mad. I just wanted to get more kisses out of you. Ow!"

Shuri rubbed her arm where she was pinched, "Making me feel kinda bad and shit. Serves you right."

Soon enough, Riri decided that she was going to head home for the evening and Shuri walked her back to the entrance.

"Are you sure you don't want me to walk home with you?" Shuri asked as she kissed Riri's knuckles.

"Nah, I'm good."

Queen Ramonda walked up to the girls, "Riri is leaving already?"

"Yes, Queen Mother. I gotta get back home to Mama. She's due back from her mission and I wanna cook something for her before she arrives."

Ramonda glanced between Riri and her daughter and the girls fought to refrain from squirming under her nonchalant scrutiny, "I take it the both of you had an enjoyable evening?"

Riri scratched the back of her neck and nodded, "Ye-yea. It was nice."

Shuri dipped her head in agreement.

"Anyway, yea. I gotta go now. I'll call you later, 'kay Shuri?"

Shuri grinned and blew Riri a kiss, "Bye!"

Mother and Daughter looked on in silence as Riri disappeared into the distance.

Ramonda gave Shuri a side-eye while she tried her best to ignore it. Because she knew that look all too well. She and T'Challa experienced it right before getting a stern talking-to.

"Is there something the matter, Mother?"

Ramonda made her posture impossibly straighter, "I would have liked to think I raised you better than this, Shuri."

Shuri furrowed her brow, "What do you mean, Mother?"

Ramonda's lips tilted downward as she pinched the hickey that barely hid beneath Shuri's collar.

"Ah! Mother!" Shuri pulled away as heat pooled at the base of her neck in embarrassment.

"By all means you can have your fun. But I would expect you to court your girlfriend properly. In a way that is befitting of a Princess. Not whatever it is you're doing. If you are not holed up in your lab with her, it is your room. You must carry yourself with class, Shuri. And I expect you to exercise the same when it comes to your relationship. Riri deserves to be wined and dined. She is a respectable young lady and you should treat her as such."

Shuri bowed her head in shame as her mother talked. She was right. Shuri had gotten so caught up with enjoying her time with Riri, just being in close proximity with her and otherwise, she neglected to actually go out with her.

What they were doing was basically what they'd always done together...just add a lot of kissing and...other extra-curriculars.

"Yes, Mother. I understand."

"Good, now come, it is almost time for supper."

"I ran into a pole, Ma! I'm being serious!" Riri tried to lie through her teeth as Okoye had her neck tilted to the extreme left to inspect the bruise.

"I was born at night, not last night, Riri. That is a hickey!"

Riri had made it home and prepared dinner before her mother's arrival. When her mother came through the door, Riri greeted her with a hug and kiss, but with eyes as sharp as an obsidian blade, Okoye noticed what was on her daughter's neck.

"Is that all you do when you spend time with Shuri? Bast. It is never ending." Okoye shook her head and gave her daughter a kiss on her cheek nonetheless.

"You'd understand if you went out and got some, Ma."

"Ah!" Okoye held up a finger to silence Riri, "I am not entertaining this conversation with you."

Riri giggled as her mother excused herself to freshen up before joining her for dinner.

Riri's kimoyo beads pinged, indicating Shuri was calling.

"Hey, babygirl." Shuri greeted.

"Hey babe! What's up? You missing me already?"

"I always miss you when you're not around. You take a piece of my heart with you every time."

"Lemme get some butter for all that corn." Riri teased.

Shuri gave a smile before continuing, "I want to apologize to you, Riri."

Riri's countenance mirrored her befuddlement, "What for?"

"I haven't been treating you as I should."

"Shuri, I don't understand. You've been treating me really good. Did you forget that hickey you planted on me earlier? Mama flipped though."

Shuri scratched her head, "Yes, what we do is really nice, but I meant actually taking you out and making you feel special."

Riri sat down, "You already make me feel special though. And loved. Really loved." She smiled.

"I'm glad that you think that way. But I want us to go out and have a great time! On a really nice date. And I have the perfect place in mind."

Riri pulled her beads closer to her face, "Well what is it, Shuri?!"

Shuri smirked, "I kind of want it to be a surprise, but you'd need your mother's permission for this particular venue."

Shuri paused, "I would like a drum roll, please."

Riri wasted no time giving her a drumroll.

"We're going to America! I know how much you are obsessed with the country in relation to the Black American culture. So I figured that we can go there for a date. Chicago to be exact! I remember how much you said you wanted to try their deep dish pizza."

Riri's mouth hung open in awe, "Shut up! Are you being for real right now?!" "Yes!" "Oh my...Bast! Shuri that's so sweet of you! Yes!"

"It'll be a little eight hour outing. This Saturday. We'll go see all the sites and try all the food. My mother already allowed us permission. She's making T'Challa chaperone us along with two Doras."

Riri couldn't stop grinning, "That so fricken thoughtful of you! Ugh I want to kiss you so hard right now!"

"Hickeys weren't enough?" Okoye asked as she came out from her room, freshly showered and in her pajamas.

"Mama! Mama! Shuri is taking me out on a date on Saturday!"

"That's nice of her."

"It's in America, though!"

"America?" Okoye made a face.

"Mama please please please can I go? We're going to Chicago! And she's gonna make me try deep dish! I can learn more about the Black Panthers and everything."

"We have the Black Panther right here at home." Riri groaned, "Mama, please!" She threw herself at Okoye and squeezed her in a hug, "T'Challa is going with us to chaperone. We won't make any trouble. I swear!"

Okoye crossed her arms, "I don't know, RIri."

"Mama, please." She clasped her hands together, "You know how obsessed I am! You get to practically globe-trot everywhere because you're a Dora. And I'm just stuck at home. Let me be worldly and cultured just this once."

Okoye sighed, she knew how much her daughter was intrigued by the United States. But she was on edge. That place was no walk in the park. And the police brutality...she scowled at the thought. Such savagery.

She looked at Riri who was pleading with her with those soulful brown eyes. Well...they both are going to be escorted by the Prince and her subordinates, so they'll be in safe hands.

Okoye sighed again, "You will listen to whatever T'Challa says, okay?"

Riri nodded quickly, "Yes! Whatever he says!"

"And you will listen to the instructions of the Dora Milaje assigned to you?"

"Yes, Umama! I will. I will! I will! Cross my heart and hope to die." Riri was on the verge of tears.

Okoye sighed for the last time, "Okay. You can go on your date to the states."

"Yes! Thank you so much, Mama!" She hugged Okoye and gave her a thousand kisses, "You heard that Shuri? I can go!"

Shuri did her own fist pump, "Yes! Okay! I'll give you the rest of the details closer to the date, but everything else will be a surprise, okay?"

Riri bit her lip, "Okay! You're the best, Shuri. I just know this is going to be perfect!"

"Alright, have a goodnight, love."

Riri blew a kiss and Shuri caught it, "Good night!"

Riri held her cheeks and sighed, "Thank you again for allowing me to go, Mama. It means so much."

Okoye nodded and caressed Riri's cheek, "Please be safe, okay? I don't know what I'd do with myself should something happen to you."

"Don't worry, Ma! I'll be good."

Okoye just smiled. She knew Riri would.

"But enough talking! I made your favorite! I know you must be starving, Ma."

Okoye rubbed her hands in excitement as Riri started plating out her food for her.

Taggies: @pantherheart @somethingcleaverandwhitty @karimwillia @neptoons1998

[hitchell-mope]

(Third film. After “who better than me”. The screen splits in two, similar to the end of Do You Wanna Build A Snowman from Frozen as Uma rushes to the door and pounds on it, crying her eyes out, begging Gil not to leave her as he runs away in a hurry)

Uma: GIL! GIL!!!! DON’T LEAVE ME!!!! I DONT WANT TO BE ALONE GIL!!!! PLEASE!!!! PLEASE DONT LEAVE ME!!!! I don’t want to be alone. I don’t like the dark.

(Meanwhile, in another part of the palace, the rest of The Royal Court are celebrating the completion of the rebuilding process. To that end. Mal and Jay have jumped up on the bar. This is when “if I didn’t have you” happens. After the song. Carlos shoos Mal and Jay off the bar, takes their place on it and addresses the others)

Carlos: yes, yes. We rebuilt everything. We’re so smart. We’re so happy. Yaaaay! But do we really want my mother hogging the karaoke machine? I think not.

Ben: low blow buddy.

Carlos: but true father. But. True. Now. Who wants ME to perform?

(Everyone cheers)

Carlos: good answer. Diego. With me.

(This is when “it’s all love” happens. After the song. Evie stands up and raises her glass to Carlos)

Evie: thank you for that C. Now who would like to hear me and Doug sing a real song?

Quinn: please.

Doug: how does no.20 sound?

Evie: I loooove no.20. Nobody join in. Just us two. Lonnie. Hit it.

(This is when “don’t go breaking my heart” happens. After the song)

Anthony: that was very nice guys. But how about we all have a go now?

Evie (whining): oh but why.

Mal: because he said so. You gotta respect your elders sis.

Anthony: hurtful.

Mal: ah but true.

Anthony:....yeah....Let’s see now. No.48? Carlos?

Carlos: that’ll do. Ma? Pa?

Ben: ooooh yes.

Mal: ‘bout time we did a group number.

Freddie: then let’s do it!

(Everyone looks at her quizzically)

Freddie: what? I haven’t said anything for a while.

Everyone: let’s do it!

(This is when “sing” happens. After the song. Hadie gently removes his hand from Anthony’s and approaches Mal)

Hadie: hey Mally can we talk?

Mal: hey bro. Wanna drink? We got beer, vermouth, whisky, vodka. Not gin because it Carlos nightmares. What’re you in the mood for?

Hadie: we need to talk about Harry.

(Mal’s hand, still holding her knife, zooms to a stop less than an inch above a martini olive. Thinking fast, Ben magic’s away the knife and every piece of sharp cutlery away from Mal)

Mal: thank you sweetheart. Could you um. Take everyone but uh the boys and Evie away somewhere else. Please?

Ben: as you wish. And Hadie.

Hadie: yeah?

Ben: you’ve fucked up. Again.

Hadie: yep.

(Ben teleports the others away, leaving Hadie alone with the core four)

Hadie: okay hear me out.

Mal: no.

Hadie: Mally please.

Mal: I said no Hadie. How many times do you want to say it? No. No. No. And no. Is that enough for you? Or maybe you want to hear it in a different language? No. Óchi. Non. Nō! Is that enough for you Hadie? Is it? Is that enough for you big brotha?

Jay: don’t do the accent. You sound like a chav.

Mal: right. Sorry.

Hadie: Mally please. He was our brother. The least we can do now that the trench has opened is go look for his remains.

Mal: no! It was your brother! Your fault! Your mistake! Not mine.

Hadie: what’s that supposed to mean?

Evie: believe me. You do not want to know.

Mal: we’re not looking for it. Because the current most likely scenario is that an angler fish has already found it, eaten it and she’s it out.

Hadie (nearing tears): don’t talk like that. Please don’t talk like that. Our brother deserves a fune-

(Mal let’s put a cold, high, piercing laugh that sends ice up everyone’s spine and she doesn’t stop until Hadie backs away)

Mal: you really think it deserves a funeral? Did Carlos to get chased down and slashed open with a hook when he was eleven years old? Did Ben deserve to be kidnapped and early just because of his connection to me? Don’t you dare tell me what it deserves. Because as far as I’m concerned. It already got what it deserved. And my only regret is that I didn’t kill it myself.

Hadie: you don’t mean that.

Carlos: the hell ahead doesn’t.

(He takes his shirt off)

Carlos: this right here on my back. Where it flayed me open like a haddock on a board. It’s been seven years and you still see the scars. Does that seem like the image of your brother that you had in your head? Does it Uncle Hadie?

Evie: I saved Carlos. I pulled Harry off of him. And broke Harry’s leg in two.

Jay: that’s why Mal let Evie into the gang.

Mal: after I kicked her into the barriers roof for tattling on us when we were eight.

Carlos: take a good look Uncle. This is what your precious innocent baby brother did to me.

Mal: just not the scar on his neck. That was all Cruella.

Hadie: why don’t you have a belly button?

Jay: our fault.

Mal: yeah. We were eight. We didn’t know what navels are because we don’t have them and we thought it was a wound. We vanished it.

Hadie: huh. Anyway, anyway. I’m begging you. Please. Allow a search for our brother’s remains so he can be properly buried.

Mal: no.

Hadie: why not?

Mal: because I didn’t like it. Ben didn’t like it. Jay, Carlos and Evie didn’t like it. Nobody liked it apart from you and dad.

Hadie: Uma liked him.

Mal: oh. I don’t see you beseeching her to throw it a funeral. Now I wonder why that is(?) Oh yes. Because YOU hate her. So you come crawling to me in the hopes that I’ll forget that I hate him once look into your sad, sad yellow eyes(.) You bet on the wrong dragon Haydes. Now get out of here before I horrifically lose my temper and conveniently forget that you’re my brother.

Jay (getting an idea): hey Mal. What if we....

(He leans over and whispers in Mal’s ear. As he does so Mal face splits into a very wide and very cruel Cheshire Cat grin)

Mal: ooooh. I like that. Yo Hadie. (She sends a stream of magic into Ben’s walk-in wardrobe)

Mal: though there you’ll find a little mock up theoretical funeral for Harry planned by us. But be warned. Once you’re there you can’t leave until the sequence is over.

(Hadie speeds through the door)

Mal (aside to the others): he is soooo gonna regret that. Let’s go.

(They all walk into Ben’s wardrobe. On the other side is a lavish outdoor funeral. Very traditional. Bright and sunny. Everyone is wearing black. A giant portrait of a bruised and battered Harry is hanging on a black velvet curtain behind a podium. Carlos steps up to the podium. This is when “homecoming” happens. After the song. Persey gets back to their family’s residence)

Persey: hey guys. Can’t stay long. Somethings up with u-Kay. What’s dad doing?

Persephone: Sherlocking it my dear. Your father is Sherlocking it.

Persey: not a word.

Persephone: right. Sorry. Your father is going through her brain in hopes of finding a memory of Harry being happy to see her.

Persey: why?

Persephone: she thinks she saw Harry earlier.

Persey: what?

Hades: I don’t think I saw him. I know I saw him floating across the courtyard. Not eight hours ago.

Persey: eight hours. Dad listen to me very carefully and think extremely hard. Where was “Harry” supposedly going?

Hades: to the enchanted lake.

Persey: right. Okay. Oh boy this is bad. This is very, very bad. Mom. Stop dad from trying to find Harry. By any means necessary. I gotta go.

Persephone: where are you going?

Persey (already running out the door): to circumvent disaster!

(On their way back the kings office Persey bumps into Gil who’s heading in opposite direction. The two of them spin around, holding onto each other’s arms until they settle down)

Persey and Gil: where’s Mal? How should I know? I just got back! I’m asking you! Stop copying me! Argh!

Persey: oh this isn’t gonna work!

(They spot Ben coming out of the castles bar)

Persey: BEN! Benbenbenben! Come with us!

Ben: whoah! What’s happening? Where are we going?

Persey and Gil: we’ll explain on the way!

(Back in the kings residence. Mal is at the bar, once again, pointedly ignoring her older brothers pained pleas)

Hadie: please Mally. Please. I know you can get Ben on side. I can do the rest.

Mal: Carlos. You and Doug have been reading up on dimensions of magic. Do you know if a god can be executed?

Carlos: yes. But they’d reconstitute in ten working days.

Mal: good. If Hadie keeps bleating then we can hang him.

Hadie: you don’t mean that.

Carlos: oooh but she does.

Hadie: no. No I refuse to believe that. If she didn’t feel anything about our brother dying she wouldn’t have those tears in her eyes CHRIST!!!!

(Mal’s had enough and thrown a bottle of bourbon at Hadie that narrowly misses shatters against the wall behind him)

Mal: ENOUGH HADIE!!!! ENOUGH!!!! OKAY!!!! ENOUGH!!!! WE HATED IT!!!! WITH EVERY FIBRE OF OUR BEINGS WE HATED IT!!!! AND RIGHT NOW-oh my god Carlos! I am so sorry!

(She rushes over to Carlos and pulls him into a crushing hug)

Carlos (unaffected but embarrassed): I’m okay, ma. Ma, I’m okay. Finish what you were doing.

Mal: are you sure?

Carlos: yes. I’m sure.

Mal: okay.

(She uses magic to throw Hadie throw the wall. Next thing he knows, Hadie’s falling through the blackness until he lands in a void filled with the rotting corpses of Harry Hook)

Mal (her skin green and covered in scales, her horns large and curling outwards, her hair and dress purple flame, walking through the corpses and tearing them apart like tissue paper as her voice reverberates inside of Hadie’s head): you want ussss to locate and hold a funeral for a dead basssstard who we hated and who hated ussss! And after all of thissss I have. Jusssst. One. Quesssstion.

Hadie (on his knees, his hands covering his ears and sobbing his eyes out): WHAT?!?! WHAT?!?! WHAHAHAT?!?!

(The illusion ends and they’re back in the kings residence)

Mal: why?

Hadie (still shuddering in terror): huh?

(This is when “requiem” happens. After the song. Ben, Gil and Persey rush in, panicked and very, very scared)

Gil: is everyone okay?

Mal: yeah. Yeah I um. I just had a little tiff with my big brother.

Carlos: the moron thought he could beg us to look for hook’s corpse.

Gil (chuckling nervously): about that....heheh.

(Cut to the Enchanted Lake)

Mal (from hundreds of miles away): WHAAAAAAAAAAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

(Back in the palace. Mal and Gil are running at full speed towards Milo’s offices. On their way they pass Ben’s Ego and Mal’s Id)

Ego: this is really bad isn’t it?

Id: oh honey. Only for Uma. For us it’s all going to be wildly entertaining.

(He looks directly at the audience again)

Id: enjoy.

(Mal and Gil are greeted by Facillier at Milo’s observation office. Through the two way mirror Mal can clearly see the spectral Harry floating around Uma’s terrified head)

Mal: shit.

Gil: he really is back then.

Facillier: not fully your highness. Nothing more than a ghost.

Mal: a poltergeist you mean.

Facillier: you need your fix this your grace.

Mal: not Celia. Not my problem. By the way. How the hell can you see it?

Facillier: I was dead once. The after effects are exceedingly long lasting.

Mal: oh.

Facillier: and yes you do need to help my daughter. You’re family. And this is what family does for each other.

Mal: oh god how did this happen?

(This is when “the kids aren’t alright” happens. After the song. Ben walks into his office to find Mal, Evie, Hades, Persephone and the twins lined up in front of his desk in military fashion)

Ben: not that I don’t like a nice family meeting but why do you all look like you’re waiting for me to tell you to activate the Zords and stop Emperor Grumm?

Mal: Persey and Gil were right. Harris a ghost and it’s haunting Uma.

Ben: ah. Wait. If this is about Uma why is Evie here?

Doug: Persey’s holding her sewing machine hostage.

Ben: that’s fair. Okay so. What’s the first order of business? Oh and uh. At ease.

(The gods and demigods relax)

Mal: we need to figure out how it came back.

Doug: Carlos thought it was the black cauldron.

Hadie: but I deactivated it when we won.

Ben: how so?

Hadie: I’m a god. I jumped into it then reconstituted a few seconds later.

Ben: if you say so Captain Jack. Right then. Any other theories?

Persey: oh no. Oh nononononono

Mal: what?

Persey: I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.

Ben: what Persey? What is it?

Persey: I think it was me. I think I left The Door open when I sent Verna to asphodel during the Processing.

Ben: right....

Mal (thinking quickly): Pain! Panic!

Pain and Panic: princess?

Mal: go to the underworld. Check and double check every door and opening. Make sure none of the dead can get through. We can’t risk any more leakages.

(The imps disappear)

Mal: Boss. Take dad and Hadie back to Olympus please.

Persey (nearing tears): Mal I am so-

Mal: it doesn’t matter. I don’t care about that. This is just a precaution. We can’t afford to have them trying to talk to it.

Persey: right.

(They teleport themselves, Hades and Hadie back home)

Ben: good thinking Mal.

Mal: thanks.

Doug: what do we do about Uma though?

Evie: I say we kill her. We can use your axe.

Mal: shaddup Evie. We’re not doing that. We’ll have to isolate her in her suite

Ben: are you sure?

Mal: yes. No. I don’t know. All I know is we can’t have Uma walking around until we get rid of the ghost floating about her head. We need to protect her as well as everybody else. Because if she finds a way to bring it back. We are all screwed.

(In Uma’s suite. She’s shivering with terror as Harry’s ghost gently unravels her now fully lavenderbraids. This is when “it’s a dangerous game” happens. After the song. Uma wrests herself away from his grip)

Uma: you’re not here. You can’t be here. You’re dead. I saw you die. You’re dead!

Harry: I know that. Why’d ya think I ain’t got legs? But you can fix that.

Uma (covering her ears with her hands in a futile effort to block Harry out): you’re not here. You’re not here. You’re not here. You’re not here.

Harry (taking Uma’s hands off of her ears): oh but I am. You can’t escape this Uma. I need to come back. To prove them wrong. To prove my bitch sister wrong. We need each other.

Uma: NO!

(She turns towards the mirror but she can still see Harry. This is when “my demons” happens)

[total-drama-takes-takes-2]

tti episode 3

“Last time on Total! Takes! Island! An Awake-a-Thon tested the patience of every camper, and left a few with some pretty wicked injuries. Caesar won the victory for the Flying Fujoshis, and Joner hit the hay and left his buddies Michael and McLovin behind. Will any alliances stay intact for more than just one episode? Will Frollo recover from his blunt force trauma? Find out today on Total! Takes! Island!”

---

The mess hall feels more crowded than usual today as every camper huddles around their table. Most are still sleepy from the past challenge, but some are in full gear. 

“We need to get our act together,” Max insists, drawing out a little game plan on his plate of mysterious brown slop, only pausing to glare at Frollo as he speaks. “We can’t afford to lose over petty personal differences.”

Frollo glares back, his eyes cold and gaze icy. Julia responds with a sigh, rolling her eyes to the ceiling. “So what’s your plan, then, Mr. Man?”

“I don’t appreciate your tone,”

“I don’t appreciate your face!”

“Woah, let’s cool down, alright?” Austin says, holding out his arms between them as if they were to pounce on each other at any moment. “Take a chill pill, baby!”

Max pushes his arm down. “I’d ask you to kindly keep your peace and love away from me, thank you,” 

Austin sighs and sits back. “Only trying to keep us together, mate. We’re on a team, aren’t we?”

Only Kelly seems to agree as everyone glares daggers at each other. Max sighs. “As much as I hate to admit it, the hippie is right. As I said, we need to put our personal differences aside if we want to keep winning,”

“He’s right,” Scruffy chimes in, swallowing a spoonful of slop without a second thought. Everyone winces. “Speaking from the lens of a TDI historian, the most successful teams, alliances, and friendships are built off of practical cooperation.”

“Thank you,”

Julia rolls her eyes. 

Things are looking much more peaceful over at the Fujoshis table as they chat merrily. Courtney is wedged at the very end of the table, using McLovin as a shield to keep them away from Mal, who’s surrounded by Ass and Patrick. 

“And I’m covered by the company health insurance, so if I sustain any lasting injuries, it comes straight out of McLean’s pocket,” Caesar chuckles, using his spoon to form the breakfast gruel into pancake-shaped patties, somewhat fit for consumption. 

Bonnie shakes their head in bewilderment. “And you got all this stuff, how, exactly? Threatened to sue?”

“Not exactly,” he smiles. “Back home, I run a very popular Total Drama-themed Hunger Games simulation show on local cable and online. It got so big, the execs here threatened to sue. I sent my fans after them and they issued a formal apology, which included an invitation to their newest season.”

“Oh, yeah, I’ve seen that!” Peter says, nodding enthusiastically. “It’s so awesome, my friends and I take bets on who wins!”

Bonnie scoffs, shaking their head with a smile. “Lucky,” 

“I threatened to sue, but the court dismissed my case,” Patrick chimes in. “On the grounds of not actually having been on the island.”

“If only the courts were evil,” Bonnie jokes. 

“If only the courts were evil in my favor,”

Bonnie chuckles. Kitty reaches into their apron pocket and pulls out a handful of candy and hands it to Patrick. “For your troubles,” they whisper. 

Patrick blinks. “Thank you,”

“Alright, campers!” Chris shouts. “Your next challenge starts in ten minutes- be prepared to bring it!”

“Corny. Same line he used in the original,” Scruffy mutters. 

---

The dodgeball emporium is already set up, a shiny glass athletic center that puts the rest of the island’s amenities to shame. That can only mean one thing- Chris is very enthusiastic about going all out for today's torture.

“I still feel exhausted,” Kelly sighs, stretching. “I didn’t get a wink of sleep last night, either.”

“Bad dreams, baby?” Austin asks. 

“One of the girls was snoring,” 

All of the girls and such on the Inane Anons turn to Michael, who looks back, confused. “Wasn’t me. I was up all night, too,”

Kelly shrugs. “It’s no problem. Just a bit tired,”

“Today’s challenge is everyone’s favorite: dodgeball! The first rule is don’t get hit. Second is that if you catch the ball, the thrower is out and the catcher gets to bring another team member out onto the court! And some other stuff,”

“Great. Okay, we only need five players,” Max says. “Who’s gonna sit this out with Kelly?”

“No, no- I’ll play!” Kelly insists. Max raises an eyebrow, but shrugs. "I guess it makes sense to save the best for last. Get in under the radar and then surprise them last minute. Frollo, Staci, you're on. I'll go too, and-"

“If Kelly’s going, I am too, baby!” 

"Whatever. Just don't try to "make love not war" them to death,"

Courtney, Mal, Patrick, McLovin, and Peter stand opposite to them, not looking very happy. Courtney turns to the rest of their team. “Just focus on dodging for now. If you see an opportunity, take it, but no one get themselves hurt,”

“But if you do-” Mal interjects, much to Courtney’s annoyance. “There’s no shame in losing!”

“Yes there is,” Patrick says. 

“Alright, ready? Set? Play ball!” Chris blows into his whistle. 

Courtney sighs. “Just focus on keeping in the game!”

A ball immediately flies from the opposite side and tags Peter directly in the neck. Staci and Austin high-five. He wheezes on the ground for a few minutes as his teammates stare in shock, and then Chef drags him off the court. 

“What did I just ask?!”

Another ball flies by and Patrick barely dodges, though it bounces off the glass wall and smacks McLovin in the back of the head, flattening him on the ground. 

Courtney sighs as Chef scrapes McLovin off the floor with a shovel. “Alright, it’s on!”

They aim for Frollo- the easiest target, since he’s still all bruised from his earlier divine encounter- and toss the first ball from their side. 

Frollo holds out his Bible like a shield. “The Power of Christ compels y-” 

The ball hits him in the gut and he wheezes, drops to his knees, and then curls up on the floor. Max groans and puts his head in his hands. 

Kelly yawns and weakly tosses a ball, which simply bounces across the floor and lands at Patrick’s feet with a weak squeak. Patrick picks it up and in one throw, takes out Kelly and a poor, derelict Austin trying to help them stay awake. 

Mal swerves across the court, dribbling her ball and dodging throws from the remaining Inane Anons before throwing it, hitting Max with such a force he’s thrown into the glass behind them. She turns to smirk at Courtney, and is promptly hit in the head with a throw from Staci. 

Patrick aims straight for Staci’s face, but they catch the ball and use it to take both Patrick and Courtney out. The Inane Anons win the round with a cheer. 

“We need to get in gear,” Courtney says, rubbing their sore side. “Not to live up to my namesake, but I’m gonna go all Type A on this team if we don’t start working together!”

“I agree completely,” Mal smirks. Courtney glares at her. 

Kelly falls asleep on the bleachers, and Michael takes their place. Julia, O, and Scruffy also step in, and the Fujoshis come up with Courtney, Ass, Caesar, Bonnie, and McLovin. 

"You sure you can handle this?" Ass asks Caesar. "Getting hit in the hair will still count you out."

He chuckles. "If I can swerve paparazzi and desperate fans on an average trip to the grocery store, I can handle this, easy. Bonnie? Care to join?"

Bonnie jogs over and the two stand back to back.

---

BONNIE: "I mostly do online gaming now, but back before I had access to my computer setup and my tablets, I used to go to the Chuck-e-Cheese's," they smirk. "Not to brag, but you're looking at the regional skee ball and Pop-a-Shot champion."

---

Bonnie and Caesar give each other a smile before team up sweeping the game in the blink of an eye, taking out three Anons and leaving the rest to Courtney and Ass. Only McLovin gets tagged out by a seemingly very-determined Michael, to which he glares.

Courtney grins, some hint of assurance on their face. “I’m gonna step out to save energy. Ass and Bonnie, stay in,”

“I’ll Sha-Go too!” Sha-Mod bounds forward. 

“Erm, no offense, but…” Caesar gestures to the picture taped over their face. “Aren’t you a little visually impaired?”

“My other senses are heightened,”

Caesar shrugs. “Our funeral,”

"If I may?" Mal asks, smiling sweetly. "Peter hasn't gotten a chance to play again."

Peter looks up from where he'd been watching a bug crawl around on the floor with big eyes.

"No offense, but this isn't exactly taking turns on your brother's tricycle," Caesar says.

Courtney nods, glaring at Mal with a suspicious stare. "Yeah... I don't know if he's really up to the task,"

"I have faith in him," Mal smiles confidently. "Go take a breather, Caesar."

Caesar rolls his eyes and walks off as the game begins, much to Bonnie's and Courtney's dismay.

Julia takes out Sha-Mod almost instantly, and barely misses Peter. “Ow!” 

A flash of anger crosses Mal’s face. “Come ON! AIM!” Everyone raises an eyebrow at her, and she catches herself, changing to a smile and a nervous laugh as she pretends to help Sha-Mod up. 

Peter is taken out seconds later, and as Mal stifles a grin a stray ball catches her in the stomach and she collapses. Peter groans and is dragged off court. Sha-Mod follows. They leave Mal on the floor. 

Ass and Bonnie aim for Michael, but Julia tags out Bonnie just in time, distracting Ass long enough for Kelly to swoop in and steal the lead. 

“One more game, one more chance!” Courtney insists. “Patrick, you’re in. Anyone else who thinks they can-”

“I- I wanna try,” Peter wheezes. 

Ass and Courtney raise an eyebrow in sync. 

“I don't think that’s such a good idea, little buddy,” Patrick says, smirking slightly. 

“I have… to prove my worth,”

"I say we give him one last chance, huh?" Mal smiles.

Courtney starts to say something, but the rest of the team cuts in. Ass shrugs. “Whatever, just don't get hit!”

Patrick, Peter, McLovin, Caesar, and Sha-Mod stand against Kelly, Austin, Max, Scary, and Scruffy. 

“Piece of cake!” Sha-Mod grins directly before Kelly aims straight for the jugular. 

Patrick dodges a ball from Scary, watching it bounce against the glass wall and fall to his feet with a chuckle. He picks it up and looks forward just in time to see a coordinated attack from Scruffy and Max coming straight towards him. 

“Not that face,” he whimpers before both balls hit him square between the eyes.

Caesar dodges a throw from Austin, catching another from Scruffy as he stands at the line between the two sides of the court. He tosses a ball, missing Kelly, before hearing a faint giggle and looking up towards the ceiling where Scary is hanging from on all fours with a ball in their teeth. They drop it- it hits Caesar, bouncing off his hair, and then ricochets on McLovin, leaving Peter alone on the court.

“Come on, Peter, you got this!” Ass shouts. 

Peter swallows a nervous lump in his throat and looks back at the Anons.

“Do you really think he can make it?” McLovin asks, holding an ice pack to his jaw. 

“No, but it’s a nice thought, isn’t it?”

Peter trembles, the ball in his hands shaking violently as he stares down the opposing team, who aren’t looking too concerned at all. Max gives a slight I told you so look to the rest of his team, then a smile Kelly and Austin, and then all three of them part, allowing Scary to walk through. Peter quivers and weakly throws the ball. It bounces a few paces forward and stops at Scary’s feet. 

He picks it up, grins wickedly, and then tosses it directly upwards. 

Max cups his face to shout. “Seriously?! He's right-”

As it falls, Scary does a tight, neatly performed spin-kick and launches the ball with her heel, sending it out with such a force that when it hits Peter, it sends him directly through the glass and onto the beach below. 

Max's jaw drops. Everyone falls silent. Even Chris looks mildly concerned. The Flying Fujoshis stare in shock, all looking at each other as if to say, “So, who’s gonna get the body?”

Then, the silence lifts. 

“And with a sweeping victory, the Inane Anons have won the game!” Chris shouts against the cheers of the winning team. “Chef, bring Peter to the medical tent and call in a chopper, he’s outta here! No elimination ceremony tonight!”

The Fujoshis stare in complete dead silence before a few interns force them out of their seats.

“That was rough,” Sha-Mod says, shaking his head as they walk back to the cabin. The picture of Lightning quivers in the wind, but stays put. 

Patrick shrugs. “Eh, he had it coming. It’s the law of the wild on this island- natural selection. The weakest go first,”

Sha-Mod frowns, but doesn’t respond further. 

The Anons, on the other hand, seem to be doing just fine as they gather for lunch in the mess hall. “How’s this, baby: you, me, the Christian square, and the history square?” Austin asks, walking alongside Kelly. 

“Are you sure? I mean, Frollo is kind of…” they gesture to Frollo, who’s standing over Peter’s cast-covered body and sprinkling holy water on him while he tries to weakly protest. 

“That’s why he can’t say no, baby!”

“Ok, I guess that makes sense. What about… Staci? Staci is nice,” Kelly smiles, gesturing to Staci as they growl at Michael for staring. 

“Sure, baby, whatever you say. Yeah!”

Staci sits back down on the bench and huffs. Scary emerges from under the table as if she were rising from underwater and sits next to them. “I liked your technique today. Brutal!”

“Thank you,” Staci grins. “My great-great-great cousin twice-removed Bertram actually invented the earliest version of dodgeball, so I’m pretty good at it.”

Max rolls his eyes. “Oh, brother,”

“I heard that!” they snap, brandishing their grimy spoon like a weapon. Scary giggles with delight. 

“Good job out there today, campers! And good work Scary- only three episodes in and we’ve already had to lift someone off the island in a full-body cast!” Chris chuckles, entering the mess hall. Scary smiles wickedly. “Really makes you wonder who’s gonna sustain a life-threatening injury next time- and there’s only one way to find out- here, on Total! Takes! Island!”

[elronds-pointy-ears]

At your Mercy Chapter 4

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 

Pairing: Gil-Galad x human! fem! Reader

Warnings: use of alcohol

Word Count:  2083

Summary: So reader get’s their ass saved once again and we meet a cute half-elven man. 

Thank you for reading 💜

“Wait what do you mean? Mal what did you do?” “I may have played out my connections at the high Kings court and found a place for you to work for the next few months.” He told you answered. You looked at him too stunned to speak for a short while “You what?” You laughed. “Come on Mal this is no time to joke around. This is serious I am running out of time here Erestor wants the agreement letter by the end of the week.” You slightly panicked. Mal saw you spiralling and decided to stop ypu before you wrecked your nerves too much. He took your hands and spoke to you “Y/N stop it do not worry I promise you that I have found someone who will happily take you in.” His soft words made you look up at him. “I’ll bring you to him now.” Your eyes widened the deeper you walked into the royal part of the city. It must have been someone of high status you thought. Mallahir led you through few more streets. He did not stop and once you entered the Kings palace you felt a great wave of anxiety wash over you. Who did Mallahir convince to take you in? You prayed it was a younger elf, close to Mallahir since you feared the older elves were more likely to look down on you and dislike you. You passed many doors and hallways and now you walked down a long corridor. Since your childhood you were ready to work hard no matter what occupation you were going to have. You wanted to impress this elf even though you did not know him.

Suddenly you bumped into Mal. You were so lost in your thoughts again that you did not see he stopped walking. The both of you stood in front of a great wooden door now in the hallway. You apologized and he just smiled at you. “Are you ready?” You gulped “As ready as I can be.” He turned back to the door and knocked. You felt your heart pounding in your chest. Mallahir opened the door and stepped inside. You nervously followed him fidgeting with your hands. The room was one of the prettiest you’d ever seen and you wondered if every room in the palace was as exquisite as this one. High ceilings with decorative wooden ornaments and a big open door that lead to a balcony took your breath away. On the table in the middle of the room sat an elf who you’d work for the next few months if everything went smoothly.

When the ellon saw you enter the room he stood up and his face lit up seeing you. “Mallahir, Gi nathlam hí mellon.” He walked around the table and came to a halt in front of you. “And you must be Y/N.” He nodded to you and smiled. “Yes this is her.” Mallahir said proudly. “Oh Y/N this is my dear friend Elrond Perdehel.” Mallahir finally introduced you. “Pedig edhellen?” Elrond asked you. “Pedin edhellen” you answered and nodded slightly. Elronds smile widened and his kind eyes made you feel welcome almost immediately. “I am looking forward to working with you. I hope that we both can learn from each other.” This positively surprised you. You had met many elves by now but none of them seemed to be interested in your kind or humans in general. Not even 5 minutes of knowing this ellons name and you could already tell he was different.

Mallahir had left you to get to know each other a little better and Elrond explained what was going to be asked of you. He himself was the High Kings herald. A position that filled the young elf with pride. He told you many things and you listened intently. Talking to Elrond was surprisingly easy and you felt huge relief that he turned out to be so down to earth, other than most elves he understood fairly well the affairs of humans.

“You seem surprised to hear me say this” Elrond spoke. “Uh yeah uhm” you stuttured “Forgive me Lord Elrond it’s just..” you thought how you were going to tell him how pretentious and stuck up the elves could be in the most respectful way without offending and or angering him. He glanced at you with a small smile.

“You can be honest. I promise you I won’t be mad.” “Well they tend to be a little..” “pretentious, oblivious, pompous or headstrong?” He continued your sentence, leaving you slightly astounded to hear him talk about his own kind in that way.

Your puzzled face must have given him a reason to further explain. “Unlike most of my kin I am not a true elf. I am merely half-elven. A peredhel.” Something in the way he said that made your chest hurt. It sounded almost sad. “It is the reason why I am seeing things from a different perspective.” With those words you finally understood what felt so odd about him. Straight away it dawned on you. You remembered to have read about Beren and Lúthien. A mortal man and an elven Princess who found love. After their quest of stealing a silmaril from Morgoth himself they had been granted a life together. Elrond must have been one of their offsprings.

It bathed him in a special light. “I remember reading about half-elves.” Your curiosity got the best of you and you just had to ask. “Would you mind if I asked you a few questions later?”. Elrond gave you a short look with a soft smile. “You might do that. But not now. I‘ll introduce you to your duties here.”

With that Elrond led you through the royal part of Mithlond. Explaining where everyone was situated and what their occupations were. He told you everything you needed to know about the royal court. Being the High Kings Herald gave him a high status among the elves but him being „only“ half elven made it for him significantly harder to earn as much praise and success than the other elves.

Elrond you learned had to work hard to gain the rank of the Kings herald and saying he was not the absolute best candidate for it would be a lie. After a week of getting to know everyone and being taught how to write protocols and such you figured Elrond was a master in his work. You admired him. He looked like a young man barely of age but he was easily the wisest you had ever met. And kind. Taking you in just in time gave you a slight idea how generous he was. You were skeptical though. He proved to be even warmer and kinder than you could have imagined. He was incredibly patient and calm when teaching or explaining. When you messed up and panicked he was there in the blink of an eye and helped you relax, telling you it’s just a small mistake and that was not a bad thing. He was the first person ever to tell you that mistakes were not to be avoided at all costs. Instead he told you they were a good thing. Good as long as you learned from them. When every other elf in the city saw you making mistakes they would laugh and or belittle you. Elrond on the other hand encouraged you to keep going and try again. This half-elven was the best teacher you ever had. A beacon of light in the hard reality that living as a human in an elven city provided. As time passed you grew quite fond of him and you became somewhat like friends.

One day during one of the meetings the high King attended with his advisors and many elven lords from all of middle earth you were tasked to write down everything they said. One of the elven lords noticed you were human which apparently he was not particularly fond of. “What is this human doing here?” He yelled. Now everyone's eyes were fixed on you and you felt self conscious. “This is an elven court, you have no right to be here.” He came closer and tried to usher you out of the room. Elrond was quick to jump in from the High Kings right side and stepped forward. “This is Y/N. My assistant and I assure you she has every right to be here.” The half-elf objected with his flat outstretched hand moving down to the ground in an attempt to calm the upset elven lord. This seemed to fuel the elven lord's temper even more and he faced the High King. “You cannot allow this, your grace. These humans. They cannot be trusted. They are traitors!” He protested. “I vouch for her.” Elrond interrupted. “I will not listen to you peredhel. How can we know you are to be trusted?” The Elven lord's eyes glowed dangerously. “Enough.” the High King's voice boomed through the halls. “I will not allow you to speak like that about my herald Lord Araphor. He is my trusted ally and if you mistrust his judgment you mistrust mine.” Gil-Galad spoke with authority successfully rendering the elf silent. You turned your head towards Elrond and nodded slightly, thanking him for supporting you in front of all the high ranked elves. He nodded back at you acknowledging your gesture.

After that rather intense meeting you kept the support you received from Elrond and the High King in the back of your head. You would not forget and planned to thank them if you got the chance.

The next day was a Saturday, meaning the elves were retiring from their work a bit earlier in the day. In elven culture you had learned they worked longer hours and sometimes you figured even harder. It was all due to their immense stamina. You sure could not compare an elven worker with a human worker. They were built differently starting from growing higher in stature, to stronger and more persistent muscles. To top that off they required much less sleep to recover than the average human did. They fascinated you and made you feel much weaker in general. Anyway it was their time of the week when they would put away their work and enjoy the rest of the week and so your beloved best friend and a few of his and now your friends wanted to go to an alehouse in the city to have some fun and possibly drink the everyday stress away.

“Oh I am so excited for this.” Mallahir said walking down the road. “You’re gonna meet a few more of my friends and I think you’re gonna like them.” He mused. “Alright if you say so. Will it be like last time? The night we actually met each other for the first time?” You asked. “Oh maybe. Who knows. Depends on how much we all drink. Do you wish for me to keep an eye on you? Just to make sure you do not get drunk again like that night?” Mal teased. “Hey, watch it. You were pissed drunk yourself Lord I am a super Elf.” You objected, making sure his feet stayed on the ground that arrogant ellon. “I was just playing along. I was in fact not that drunk. I was merely a bit tipsy.” The ellon walking beside you smiled. “Bullshit you and everyone were mashed.” You laughed.

The two of you giggled and entered the alehouse immediately spotting your friends. Elvish and humans all together on the biggest table available. Except for a few new faces you recognized everyone, especially that one particular person you hoped not to see again for at least the two months of your practicals. You knew you had to see him in classes but you refrained from thinking about it as long as you could. After greeting everyone you settled down next to your friend. Friendly chattering and laughing soon followed and everyone was having a good time enjoying themselves. The moon above rose higher and higher and so did the alcohol level with each passing hour. Eventually you decided you needed to get out of the room. It became far too stuffy in there and your ears felt hot due to the intoxicated state you were in by now. You went straight through the front door to catch some fresh air outside when a familiar voice called your name.

Tagging @lotrnonsense​ / @captainbutterflygirl2​ @thesolarangel​ @lazymeriadoc​ @bananaphanta​ @betty-not-boop​ @fenharel-enaste​ 

[caprica99]

Shadow and Bone rant, because I need it

Shadow and Bone has some incredible potential, both the books and the show, but neither actually lives up to it.

Alina could have been interesting. Cartographer is a rare profession for fictional characters, but in the books/show she's just a beginner (at 17/20 it's understandable). Make her at least 25 with 9 years of experience in the army, give her a promotion with subordinates she's responsible for and you would get a more interesting character who saw some serious shit in the army, acts like a soldier, and knows responsibility. (And maybe wants to stop the war at all cost, utilizing the Fold maybe.*wink, wink*)

It bothered me that we never saw her using cartography this profession that makes her unique for reaching her goals. In the show, she has dreams about the stag. It would have been interesting to see HER figuring out the whereabouts of the stag by using the stag's surroundings like mountains, specific types of trees, topography, etc. Work smarter, not harder.

Diana Bishop suffers from the same passiveness in the first book of the All Souls trilogy, but she actively uses her science historian background and those passages are the most interesting parts of her POV. Alina's interest in drawing and geography would give her a unique personality, and made her relatable to many (see ADoW and history nerds). Many YA heroines have a specific and useful skillset: Katniss-archery, Clary Fray-drawing, etc. Sadly, her entire personality is running away with Mal.

Mal's character feels pointless to me. The story depicts an oppressed minority group with special powers, and their struggles in the world, the heroine and the antagonist are both part of the said minority group, and he's constantly shown to be a bigot against the Grisha, so what makes him so important to the plot? His tracking skills? Give the job to a no-name tracker and I wouldn't miss him.

At least the show made him more likable, but Archie and Jessie still lack romantic chemistry. However his chemistry with his friends Mikhail and Dubrov was spot on, I really liked it. They showed life as a simple otkazat'sya soldier on the front, and their death was painful to watch. I thought that his friend's death would make a bigger impact on Mal, him wanting to get revenge on the fjerdans and end the war at all cost, and saying that maybe Kirigan's plan actually makes sense would make an interesting narrative. (They are at war dammit, there's no black and white only grey.)

Mal and Alina don't act like soldiers in a war-torn country, they act like American teenagers, and it's annoying. The General and Ivan are the only ones who act as soldiers in a 3 front war. When the villain shows the most responsibility in your story you should rewrite your heroes completely, or make the villain your hero.

The show is better than the books. It's a rare phenomenon but it is something everyone agrees upon. To me, the first book reads like a draft the author forgot to expand. The worldbuilding, the Grisha, and the characters were a perfect base to an original fantasy universe, but it all falls flat. The show made it richer by introducing multiple POVs and giving the actors more leeway (Ben Barnes ladies and gentlemen). But in the end, they had to stick to the books.

This is incredibly confusing to me because we have numerous fanfictions about Alina staying at the Little Palace, embracing her Grisha side, helping the Darkling because his plan makes sense, or changing his plan by coming up with a better one, or having dark!Alina etc... Clearly, this is what book fans wanted: giving Alina agency, make her realize that she had to work with the Darkling because she's Grisha too and they have the same goals but have different methods, let her be Professor X to Alexander's Magneto, ending the corrupt and incompetent Lantsov line, anything would have been better than taking Baghra's words at face value and running off.

Change I like: the whole West-Ravka storyline, it made the General decision understandable. Zlatan sold Grisha to the fjerdans, wanted to kill Alina and his actions could have led to a civil war, Kirigan only acted as a general of his time (not 21 century guys, we are talking about the unforgiving 19 century) and besides we only see the destruction of Zlatans army (BTW they were ready to kill everyone on the skiff) and not the whole city.

Change I don't like: making Alina half Shu. I'm not completely against it, but it was poorly executed. The racism Alina faces overshadows the Grisha-hate, rather than complementing it. Alina acts like being half Shu is somehow worse than being Grisha, eventough there are literal Holocausts going on against Grisha in two neighbouring countries, slavery in another, and the show never addresses it. This is the biggest problem with her character, she never embraces being Grisha, sides with the muggles, and makes her mission to kill the only person who stands between Grisha and persecution.

Would have been good: the show could have made little 5 minute scenes depicting the plight of Grisha in other countries. Either at the beginning or the end of every episode.

Episode 2: the Ice Court

Episode 3: the Shu concentration camps with the experimenting

Episode 4: slavery in Kerch

Episode 5: the Wandering Isle with consuming grisha blood

Episode 6: the Demon in the Woods storyline

Episode 7: Luda+Aleksander

And now... The Darkling/ Aleksander Morozov/ General Kirigan: the most interesting character in the entire series.

In the first half of SaB he was depicted as every soldier's dream general. Sitting and eating with his men, fighting side by side with them, constantly checking on his troops while other generals prefer to attend court. But in the second half, he transforms into a Mustache Twirling Villain TM and makes rather OOC decisions throughout the trilogy. He could have been a generic villain from the start, but why make him then a compelling character with understandable motivations?

In the books, I understood his motivations, but in the show, he was completely right. His backstory shows that he tried peaceful tactics but those never worked out. The only thing that worked against his enemies was power and violence. The price of hesitance was Luda's life (I'm willing to bet they were married). The Fold was actually a mistake born from desperation. He spent centuries in hiding, seeing his people persecuted. Even with the Little Palace and the Second Army Grisha are considered second-class citizens, they can't hold properties. He has to walk the fine line between usefulness and being a threat. He has to bow to incompetent Kings who don't give a shit about the state of the country. If Alina had to go through so much how would she end up? Because it's a miracle that Aleksander still has it in him to fight for the Grisha.

Many bring up Nikolai Lantsov as the Darklings foil ( or Diet Darkling as @ambitious-witch calls him) to show there is an alternative to Aleksander, but it's wrong. Because Nikolai was never part of an oppressed minority group, never had to fear centuries of persecution, he's an actual prince, it's easy to not be radicalized with his background.

Bonus: If Bardugo wanted to create a fictional world with tsarist Russia as a base, the least she could have done is to open a Wikipedia page or a dictionary for the correct names and terms. Starkov is a man's name: Alina Starkova is the correct form. Ilya Morozov, Aleksander Morozov, and Baghra Morozova would be the correct forms.

EDIT: They could have shown the building of the Little Palace and the start of the Second Army. I wanted to see the normal life at the Little Palace before Alina came along, little Grisha enjoying their powers, their reaction if the Darkling comes to see their training (I headcanon he visits the lessons at least once a year), the other teachers, and their reaction to Alina. Alina in canon is good with kids, maybe if she had spent time with little Grisha, she could have embraced her powers sooner. Having met with foreigners (Fjerdan, or Shu) and hearing their gruesome accounts of the foreign treatment of the Grisha would made her willing to fight for their future.

[serpenteve]

why we ship darklina

an essay literally no one asked for

Nobody needs a "reason" to ship Darklina. But considering this is a villain x hero pairing, it got me thinking about why we shipped it in the first place when the narrative and author so badly wanted us to root for the more sensible alternative pairing and why it became the most popular ship of the entire trilogy.

Personally, I find it really interesting (and low-key hilarious) that a lot of the reasons shippers gravitated towards Darklina can be directly traced back to how badly Bardugo bungled Alina's character arc, Mal's entire characterization and narrative role, Nikolai's wasted potential as an alternative love interest, and the noble intentions she gives the the Darkling.

Alina's Character Arc

Alina's character arc doesn't match who she is as a character. I've written more about that in this post, but a lot of readers were introduced to a passive and insecure protagonist who we were expecting to undergo a typical YA coming-of-age character arc where Alina acquires self-acceptance, confidence, and embraces the full breadth of her powers over the course of the trilogy. Instead, Bardugo gave Alina the kind of character arc that's usually deserved for power-hungry anti-heroines or tragic heroes with a fatal flaw to punish.

The plot offers a strange binary: either Alina suppresses and hides her powers and therefore stays away from descending into villainy OR Alina attempts to find Morozova's amplifiers in order to defeat the Darkling but then becomes corrupted by power in the process. Alina's journey to self-acceptance and exploring her own powers are unfortunately entangled with her relationship with the Darkling. The only way she is allowed to move forward through the plot is to succumb to the corrupting influence of the amplifiers.

For better or for worse, the first character to really embrace her powers instead of thinking she's a fraud or that she's weak or that she's an unholy abomination is the Darkling. He's the first person to recognize her power for what it is and accurately judge its potential and implications for the rest of the world. He advocates for her in front of the royal court, in front other Grisha who think she's weak, and even against Baghra who is initially a very ill-tempered mentor with little to no faith in Alina's abilities. He even rather ironically advocates for her even when the heroic person who's supposed to be supporting her (Mal) does not.

At the start of her journey, Alina is insecure and in constant need of assurance and validation. The Darkling's role as her mentor and guide into this unfamiliar world of Grisha makes him the perfect advocate not only for her powers but also to help Alina see her place in the world. However, once he is revealed to be the villain, Alina also fails to realize that it's time for her to advocate for herself and throws the baby out with the bathwater.

Mal's Characterization & Narrative Role

When Alina loses the Darkling as an advocate in S&B, Mal steps up to take this role. Alina is still rather passive for the majority of the first book and it's Mal who originally wants her to have Morozova's stag as an amplifier if it will mean being able to stand against the Darkling. Bardugo intended for him to be a heroic love interest as a foil to the villainous love interest and I believe she mostly succeeds for the first book.

However, because this is a story about punishing Alina's "evil ambition" (despite there being very little evidence of that) Mal is supposed to serve as a voice of reason in the narrative. Once Alina considers the necessity of acquiring more amplifiers to defeat the Darkling, it is Mal's role to warn her of the potential consequences, to remind her of her inner humanity, and to ward against the corrupting influence of Morozova's amplifiers. Mal's declarations that he wants back the old girl he knew without any power is meant to drive an ideological wedge between them, yes, but he's also meant to be Correct™ because, again, Bardugo is writing a story about a corrupted power-hungry heroine who goes too far and needs to be punished rather than the arc we were all expecting and the one that Alina's character needs: a coming-of-age story of self-acceptance and personal growth.

Some point after the backlash of Siege & Storm, Bardugo seems to have become aware of her mistake and attempts to scrub Mal's character to be more sympathetic. There is a bizarre exchange half-way through the third book when Mal finally declares:

"I wasn't afraid of you, Alina. I was afraid of losing you. The girl you were becoming didn't need me anymore, but she's who you were always meant to be."

This is an interesting line because it's a complete reversal of Mal's narrative role so far. He's supposed to be her voice of reason that opposes her at every turn but readers interpreted him as being resentful of Alina's powers and angry that she was no longer dependent on him. Bardugo is forced to retcon Mal's entire role in the narrative from being a voice of reason that opposes Alina's quest for power to a supportive friend who will fight by her side. But this was never her initial intention and I believe this change was brought on 100% by audience reaction because she failed to understand the arc her heroine needed and the kind of story her audience was anticipating for such a character.

Needless to say, having your heroine's main love interest actively resent her quest for power until half-way through the third damn book did not endear many readers to Mal. Because Bardugo failed to understand the kind of character development her heroine needed and failed to understand audience expectations, we hated Mal. He became the embodiment of every toxic chauvinist we'd ever met who can't stand the idea of his partner's success and feels entitled to be the center of her universe. He was not the voice of reason. He was an annoying gnat hellbent on dragging the heroine down and away from her destiny. We did not want to root for him. Even the villain was more sympathetic than him because he could bring her closer to achieving the self-acceptance the narrative was obsessed with denying her.

Nikolai's Wasted Potential as a Solid Love Interest

Nikolai plays several roles in Alina's journey but most importantly in our discussions for why we ended up shipping Darklina, his entire potential as a serious love interest is wasted.

When we meet Nikolai, we have hitched our wagons to the Darklina train because despite being the villain, the Darkling is the only one who will allow the heroine to accept her powers and come into her own. Her heroic love interest, Mal, is actively sabotaging her efforts and holding her back from her true potential. But then, in swoops Nikolai and we pause, wondering if there may be a better heroic alternative after all?

In a lot of ways, Nikolai and the Darkling alike: they are eager for Alina's power and see her as a solution to all their problems. They may want to use Alina to prop up their own agendas, but unlike Mal, Alina's summoning powers are a massive plus, not a burden. Nikolai is the heroic alternative to our villainous Aleksander. So we wait, wondering if Nikolai will be the one to fix this mess of a romantic subplot. His royal connections offer an easy path to upwards mobility for our heroine and we sense that an alliance between them (even if it's initially political in nature) may bring our heroine closer to obtaining more power, influence, and self-acceptance not only for herself, but also for the oppressed minority she is a part of.

But, again, Bardugo is still obsessed with that "punish the heroine for wanting power" agenda so while Nikolai exists as another mentor figure who offers Alina advice on how to rule, how to appeal to other people, how to charm, how to win people over, and Alina learns and applies much of what she learns from him, he is not treated as a real love interest.

Despite Nikolai being written as a fairy tale prince (handsome, charming, smart as a whip, brave in battle, etc) Alina never actually considers him romantically. They are friends and allies at best and the only time she considers kissing him is only when she's pissed about Mal.

Nikolai's proposal at the end of Ruin & Rising feels like one last saving grace, one last opportunity for our heroine to take control of her life and make a dramatic change to break from the past. But this too is rejected because Alina's arc will never let her access any power. She does not reject Nikolai because she wants to marry for love. She rejects him because she has been "punished" for wanting power and has internalized that she must not seek any more power for fear of angering the plot gods (and Bardugo). She must return to being nobody in order to remain a good and moral person.

(And, of course, we resent Mal even more because who in their right mind would choose him over Nikolai? Once again, he becomes a roadblock on our heroine's journey to power. We grow irritated that the heroine is failing to grasp an opportunity to elevate herself. We throw the book against the wall. Why are we even following this heroine?)

The Darkling's Motivations

Still, all of the above might still not have been enough to pull the reader to the villain's side. But the Darkling is the living embodiment of Villain Has A Point™. He is not pure unadulterated evil. He is not Lord Sauron or Voldemort or the Terminator.

He's more Magneto, Roy Batty, or Ozymandias---a man who is part of an oppressed minority who longs for justice and power but is absolutely unhinged in his methods.

Alina runs away because she does not want to be a non-consenting weapon in hands. But we always end up wondering what would have happened had Baghra not warned her. What would have happened if Alina gladly joined the Darkling's side? There's hundreds of fanfics written precisely about this situation because despite the villainy of his methods, we wonder if Ravka might not have been safer after all?

If the Darkling had used the Fold as a weapon against Fjerda and Shu Han, would any of the problems Ravka faces in the later books even exist? Would any Grisha fall victim to the khergud programs or be killed as witches? The Darkling wipes out Novokribirsk and kills hundreds of lives, but how many would he have saved with the Fold as Ravka's greatest shield and sword? 🤷🏽‍♀️

And therein lies the problem with the trilogy inconsistent moral landscape. The Darkling is an anti-villain that exists in a narrative that is very black and white, unlike the rest of the books in the Grishaverse where our protagonists are anti-heroes who kill, steal, and torture their way through the plot with nary a judgmental glance from the narrative. We long to see our heroine give in to her dark side and get her hands dirty because watching a naive, passive, scared little girl grow into a ruthless powerful Grisha would have made for a hell of a compelling story.

But that's not the story Bardugo wanted to tell.

The Greg Trilogy

Despite taking place in a fantasy Tsartist setting, the Grisha trilogy is oddly anti-Grisha. The narrative doesn't spend much time trying to examine the context or implications of an oppressed minority group fighting for power other than to say "magic powers = evil". Nikolai skates by on a throne of inherited wealth, privilege, and imperialism but it's okay because he's charming and witty and the only monstrous part of him is the Darkling's curse. Literally everything is worse for Ravka and their Grisha after the destruction of the Fold but Ravka must move forward into a new age without relying on Grisha power but putting their efforts into new muggle technologies. Alina must be stripped of her powers and returned to her "old self" in order to be purged of evil.

Basically, it's all one gigantic ✨ dumpster fire ✨ of mismatched character arcs, incompatible moral aesops, inconsistent characterizations, wasted potential, unexamined plot points but it's a a dumpster fire we lovingly and spitefully embrace in fanfic.

We don't ship Alina with the Darkling because we're stupid abuse apologists who somehow missed the giant flashing moral aesop of the books---and honestly, who could have possibly missed them when it's shoved in the reader's face every other chapter? We ship Alina with the Darkling because the entire ship is the embodiment of wasted potential (and wasted ✨aesthetics✨ tbqh 👀). We ship Alina with the Darkling because we're sick and tired of stories where female power is demonized. We ship Alina with the Darkling because the plot gave us literally no other alternative to see our heroine succeed except to give in to her alleged villainy.

But most of all, people ship Darklina because Leigh Bardugo utterly failed in writing the story she intended to write because had she succeeded, Darklina would not be the most popular ship of the trilogy.

[descendantofthesparrow]

What’s your timeline for the movies?

I’m trying to write something of my own but I can’t figure the timeline out

hooooooooooooooo boy yeah i had a whole mental breakdown over this lol, i made my own for my rewrite fic because canon makes no sense. so the only CONFIRMED timeline is the time between d1 and d2, six months 'six months ago i was stealing candy from babies-Mal during the 'talk scene' between the c4. D3 is implied to be about two weeks? so vk day-aka the start-one week later-vk pick up day, hades attacks, Audrey steals the scepter-the next day, Jnaes birthday, the meeting, the whole adventure, and then a week later is the engagement party/the end of the movie.

but blah blah blah-so my timeline was, starts in January, though it should at the very least start in October considering a side book that mentions the coronation/the maleficent incident happening on October 18th, BUT-with d2 being six months later, and another side book says cotillion happened June 24/5th, so the end of the school year, and six months before that is January.(i know some people don't like using the side books as a timeline calculator but it helps to make my brain hurt less so shush(love you dani))

okay anyway, starts in January, takes about-two three weeks to go through the movie, ends on a Friday-the coronation, which in January 2015-when the movie 'takes place', makes sense for me so-

this is my d1 timeline, aligned with January 2015. and Ben's birthday for me is January 16th, his coronation day, since its implied his birthday is coronation day in the movie.

D2-Six months later, in June, in the movie-its kind unclear just how the timeline spans, but it is 3 days, so start-which is on a Thursday since their picnic date is on a Thursday, Mal runs away that Thursday afternoon, vks and Ben come after her late Thursday/early Friday, Mal makes deal with Uma Friday and either the wand trade happens Friday at noon or Saturday at noon-but either way in the movie, the wand trade is the same day as cotillion-but i exnayed that and made cotillion the next day, Saturday, so Evie had time to actually change Mal's dress.

D3---whooo boy, this is where it gets confusing-so D3~! there is no clear thoughts of how long its been since 3, it's either been less than a year, OR its been NEARLY 3 YEARS, no in-between-but! the vks, minus Carlos, according to Escape from the isle, have graduated from Auradon prep-Ben, Mal, Evie, and Jay are all 18-19 at the very least, with Carlos at 17 and now a senior-and they were all 16 in the first movie, minus Carlos at 14, Jane is his age as well, so they're both 14-17 in d1 to D3, so that implies it's been at LEAST 2 years if not 2 and a half. so, from d1 to d3-its been 3 years, at least my version was, because it was the only way to make sense of their age jumps, how the vks graduated, and to give Mal and Ben just a bit more time to make their engagement make more sense because WOW she just had a mental breakdown over becoming lady of the court?! she does not need to be queen yet dear god no, she needs therapy not a crown.

that also allows for the visual changes of everything, like the new bridge plaza in both Auradon and the isle, along with giving Evie her starter castle-to which Doug says in d2to evie 'maybe in the next 3 years, you'll get that castle you always wanted(paraphrased)

but yeah the timeline is a whole mess, you'll be better off just making your own like i did, there is no timeline, only zuul.

but yeah, short version, D1-six months later-D2-2 and a half years alter-D3.

[i-became-the-lady-of-the-blog]

They were hiding like they always did, staying in the corners, only ever greeting people and too nervous to make conversation. ‘The adorably shy queen’ the tabloids had named them. Shyness really wasn’t an issue, they loved meeting new people. But every time they even mentioned life outside the castle to another person, they could feel his cold, viridescent stare on them.

They were nothing but a doll, decor. Teenage girls wanted to be them, the boys found them cute. What a truly odd existence. Malleus had gone into the next room with some politician from the west. Having a banquet at political meetings had been his idea, giving them something to do while he worked.

A hand rested on their shoulder, they turned to see Leona Kingscholar. He looked the same, though a bit of rough stubble adorned his chin, he had new tattoos as well.

“We need to talk, herbivore”, the nickname that annoyed them to bits years ago now seemed like a call from heaven. A way out

An ally.

This is a sequel to this story

----

Before everything went to south, MC was a social butterfly. They would talk with anyone and find topic to converse easily but here they were. Too afraid to make a conversation with people to avoid making Malleus upset. They remember first time MC felt Malleus’ raw jealousy on their first year in Valley of Thorns. They were trying to cope with their abduction, to feel normal again and soothe their need to socialize with others. There were noble fae visitors on that day. Maleficent suggested drink tea on the balcony while she, Malleus and some of the nobles had a meeting. The remaining group went to the balcony, sitting on the chairs around the table. 

It was silent when the servants brought snacks for the group. MC thought the group hated them since they are a human so they didn’t utter a word. It was silent until one of the fae ladies spoke up and asked how they’ve been faring. MC was reluctant at first, fearing their judgment but as they spoke more, their confidence restored. It was not just the fae lady who initiated the conversation, the rest of the group were good people too. Talking with them soothed MC’s nerves, in fact, they craved to talk with them more. They were on the verge of a mental breakdown after being isolated for so very long, talking with them felt like a cure in that moment. They could not even recall the last time they laughed until that day. All was going well until he showed up. Their meeting ended earlier so he didn’t want to waste any time to be with MC, yet when he teleported, he saw MC talking and laughing with someone who isn’t him. He dismissed the guests politely before teleporting MC and himself to his- no their- bed chambers. 

Malleus was enraged that they were getting intimate with another even though it was just laughing and engaging in conversation. The sky darkened as Malleus expression was taking a dark turn. The sky was rumbling with thunder and lightening, as Malleus was taking slow and uncanny steps towards them, making MC flinch with every step. That day, MC felt Malleus’ true rage, true jealousy, true power... It was not uncommon for Malleus to take pleasure in their body regardless of MC’s wishes but that day, it was more than that. It caused MC to have nightmares over a year. Waking up because of a night terror and only to be soothed by the person who caused it was taking a toll on MC. But no one cared nor dared to stand up for them. That day MC learned not to talk with people when Malleus wasn’t around, how much cruel Malleus could get when he wishes and no one would bat an eye. That day MC decided to be obedient, to avoid more harm.

Now here MC was, greeting delegates from different countries and the nobles of Valley of Thorns briefly and making a small talk before moving on to the next person. No one managed to ask questions beyond daily talk and Valley of Thorns related queries. Their court and the delegates saw them as the Shy Queen, thinking that MC was still nervous to talk with people they didn’t know personally. The truth couldn’t be far from that. They just didn’t want to get punished for socializing nor feel that pain again.

MC needed a drink and compose themselves before moving on to the other guests. That was the plan until they saw something or more like someone. They had to take a second look since they didn’t think Malleus would be this bold to invite someone from the past, someone who knew who MC was before becoming Malleus’ prisoner- no spouse. Taking another look at the figure, the realization dawned upon them. It was Leona Kingscholar, the hot guy who was not even trying to be hot, the lion king of Savanaclaw, the person they and Grim kept awake all night for him to help fight the next dorm leader. Leona and MC were not close in the NRC but to see a familiar face...

MC just wanted to run and hug him tightly. They were about to do that but then Malleus came to their mind. Speak of the devil, he shall appear...

Malleus came soon after Leona spoke. MC wanted to explain the situation so it wouldn’t cause a problem but Malleus cut them off, pulling them over, kissing their hands affectionately, making a show in front of Leona.  MC recalled the rivalry between them. Leona was powerful but he was in the middle of Valley of Thorns, surrounded by powerful fae, Malleus, Lilia and Maleficent herself. He didn’t stand a chance. They didn’t want him to be harmed so they were eager to remove the reason of current conflict, themselves, from there but it was impossible for Malleus to just let them go. MC’s heart was racing, as if it would go out of her chest when Malleus forced them to eye contact. They thought a kiss on cheek would suffice but Malleus lifted their chip up before kissing them on the lips. If it wasn’t for the years of practice to stay still even while being violated, their knees would have given away. 

MC let out the breath they weren’t aware that they were holding. Everything was too much, the stress was getting to them but they couldn’t fail now and make Malleus think something happened between them and Leona. They saw a servant and ordered a drink. Before they could have some alone time, a noble approached them and started talking. MC was having a hard time to have the standard conversation as they has with the rest. They were feeling nauseous as the nobles kept talking but luckily the servant brought them a glass of campaign. Gulping the entire glass in one go, they got the attention of the nobles as they started to make unwanted comments. The alcohol made them relax just a tiny bit. Finally, MC was able to continue conversation. As it ended, they asked for another drink while going over to greet others.

After what seemed like an age, MC found an opening to take a break. They walked into the quieter corridor, hoping for some alone time. They didn’t get what they hoped for...

A hand rested on their shoulder, making them panic since they knew it was not how Malleus touched so this meant someone other than Malleus was touching them. They wanted to warn the person. They turned around to see Malleus’ possible victim, only to meet with Leona’s eyes. “We need to talk” He said firmly.

MC just wanted him to be okay so they couldn’t speak with him, ensuring Malleus’ wrath. They conjured up a smile as best as they could in that situation. “We have already talked, Prince Kingscholar. Now if you excuse me,” MC was going to walk around him and go back to the crowd - so much for relaxing.

“Lizard is in an important meeting along with grandma Lizard. The guards are not checking your every move all the time. They have intervals.” Leona stated casually. “This means we can talk, Herbivore.” He seemed determined to talk.

Mc knew they should have walked away but something in Leona’s voice made them trust his observation. “Be quick please, I don’t want to anger Mal- I mean, my husba- I- I-” They were having trouble with speaking with Leona without saying what went on behind the closed doors. 

“I don’t need to smell to know your nervousness, MC. Especially around the Lizard who is supposed to be your husband. Tell me what happened directly now.” Leona looked the same, though a bit of rough stubble adorned his chin, he had new tattoos as well. “Did you return home?” He was asking impossible questions.

MC gulped, recalling the day they lost everything. It pained them greatly to think about the day they thought they would see their family and friends again. “No...” They whispered, clenching their fists and burying their nails to their palm to not cry, yet they couldn’t prevent the quivering of their voice. “Dire Crowley told me to come over to the mirror room. He told me that he found a way to go home and wants me to check it out before going back completely.” They closed their eyes, it was as if reliving that dreadful moment. “My husba- Mal- no my husba... You-Know-Who was there with the old bat. I thought they wanted to see interdimensional travel for the first time but they had other plans.  You-Know-Who told Dire that he did a good job before he took me to Valley of Thorns with the old bat. I resisted at first but if you went through what I-” Their voice broke as they felt tears in their eyes, dropping to their cheeks. They wiped their cheek, “I answered your question, now please leave me be before some guard sees us together and reports to You-Know-Who. I accepted this is my life and I live this way now.”

“Not anymore,” Leona objected, MC could feel the anger behind these those words. “Your imprisonment ends today, you are coming with me, Herbivore.” He stated, ordering them around like when they were in the NRC.

In that moment, it seemed silly but hearing them from someone like Leona made them imagine how their life could have changed. Maybe this was their way out and he was their ally.

——

🍪 Anon I love your brain once again!

[marybeatriceofmodena]

You know, I’ve been thinking today about how Alina doesn’t even really work as a Reluctant Hero, compared her to Frodo to see the key differences (since Frodo is pretty much the Poster Child for the Reluctant Hero), and then I realized... 

You know, I think L/eigh B/ardugo wrote TGT as a very black-and-white fairytale, where Alina is the princess, Mal’s the knight in the shining armor, and the Darkling is basically the dragon, except it doesn’t really work because the worldbuilding requires an approach that’s... a lot more grey? 

The thing is, though, I realized... Alina and Mal are basically meant to be Frodo and Sam. Except that, again... it doesn’t really work. 

Frodo works as a Reluctant Hero, because he makes it clear multiple times that he doesn’t want to carry the Ring. He asks Gandalf to do it for him, he asks Galadriel, he asks Aragorn, and they all refuse, because they are (or are called to be) in a position of power, and while them being in a position of power is presented as good, the One Ring essentially represents the fast, easy way to get to it, which will ultimately corrupt them rather than have them fight their way towards their goal. 

Frodo, meanwhile, is the right person to carry the Ring, because he comes from a humble place and he doesn’t really have any aspirations to become powerful. And while he’s clearly burdened by having to carry the One Ring, and that he makes it clear that he wishes the Ring had never come to him, he still goes on anyway, despite all the hardships he faces, because his ultimate goal is to save the Shire and his friends, and that desire is stronger than any fear or greed he may have. 

Now, J.R.R. Tolkien himself said that he didn’t really see Frodo as THE Hero, and that Sam is the real Hero of the story to him. Which makes sense, given how Sam was based off young men from rural England he met while fighting in World War I. But also, the story makes it very clear that without Sam, who’s arguably the most pure-hearted person in all of Middle-Earth, Frodo would have definitely failed in his task. The reason why he resists the temptation to carry the One Ring is LITERALLY because him protecting and helping Frodo is more important to him. Sam doesn’t give two shits about power. Helping Frodo save the Shire and coming back to everything he’s ever loved is more important to him. 

Both Alina and Frodo are pure-hearted orphans who are given tremendous power: Alina is the Sun Summoner, and Frodo carries the One Ring. In both cases, power is represented as a corruptive force, that makes people go mad with greed. It works in the context of The Lord of the Rings, given how the rings were given to leaders of Elves, Dwarves and Men, and that Sauron created the One Ring to rule over and control all of them. The Grisha, on the other hand, unlike the Ring-bearers, are not in a position of power, given they are essentially victims of Fantastic Racism in pretty much every country. While Ravka treats them slightly better than in Fjerda or Shu Han, it’s still not ideal and it’s something that could be taken away from them at any moment. It would be an entirely different matter if the Grisha were the ones rulling over Ravka and viewing otkazat’sya as lesser, and in that context, Alina being the Sun Summoner would be a very obvious road to her becoming corrupted. 

Frodo refusing to carry the One Ring and asking other people to take that burden from him comes from a place of genuine fear of what the Ring might do to him. In his place, we’d probably all do the same thing. That’s what makes his acceptance of his task all the more admirable. Alina, on the other hand, refuses to be the Sun Summoner and to help her fellow Grisha because that stands in the way of her ending up with Mal. She never gives any sign that she’s truly empathizing with the Grisha’s plight, she tries to run away not once, but twice, and most importantly, she never sees herself as one of them. They are othered, but it matters little to her, because she doesn’t want to be othered herself, because that stands in the way of her running off with a boy. It’s basically the equivalent of Frodo being overcome by fear after seeing the fate of the Shire in Galadriel’s mirror, and just demanding to be sent to the Grey Havens straight away to save his own ass from it all and just leaving the One Ring to whoever wants to deal with it. At that point, it’s not being a Reluctant Hero: it’s being a coward at best, a selfish bastard at worst. 

(And that’s why I don’t really buy her when she tells Aleksander that they could have had it all if he had told her all the truth from the start, because... again, she didn’t seem to care about the Grisha that much and Aleks telling her everything would have actually been a sure way of having her run as fast as possible the other way. I know the story is trying to tell me otherwise and that the plot point I’m supposed to see here is that Alina was willing to do something until she felt betrayed by Aleks, which is... not what was shown here, and it’s especially annoying considering how Alina is a deserter in every sense of the word, and that any army would have court-martialed her for running away.) 

So if Alina is meant to be a pure, selfless heroine, who loses her powers because she also refuses to be greedy... that just falls completely flat, because if anything, she’s as selfish as Frodo is selfless, because all of this really just boils down to her wanting to run off with Mal. 

Now, onto Sam and Mal. Both of them are basically Everymen who are there to help the Hero and keep their feet on the ground. As mentioned earlier, Sam is the one who helps Frodo finish his mission to Mordor, and the story makes it clear Frodo would have failed without him. TGT meanwhile presents Mal as Alina’s “True North”... which could work on paper as Alina’s reminder to temper Aleksander’s efforts and to remind him that in order for Grisha to be viewed as people, it is important for them to also remember that balance and peace between Grisha and otkazat’sya will be essential, so resentment and hatred can be healed between both groups. 

The key difference here is that Sam is completely supportive of Frodo at all times. Even when Frodo sends him away in the film, Sam goes back after him the minute he realizes he’s been tricked by Gollum. He never shames Frodo whenever he falls prey to temptation, he simply reminds him of who he is and what he must fight for, and even when he’s climbing Mount Doom, he still carries Frodo on his back despite being probably completely exhausted, because Frodo’s more exhausted than he is. He completely accepts Frodo as both his friend, the Hobbit from the Shire, and the Ring-bearer he needs to help, even if he might die in the process. 

Mal (in the books, that is) makes it very clear that he does not accept Alina as both the girl he knew and the Sun Summoner. He only wants the girl, and whenever Alina makes steps towards being the Sun Summoner, he basically sulks and yells at her for not paying attention to him. Despite Alina becoming othered in the eyes of the world, he refuses to see her as othered, mostly because it is inconvenient to him rather than because he loves her for who she is. That’s why in the end, people feel like Alina lost her powers in order to be with Mal, because Mal would never accept her in her entirety. Sam, on the other hand, accepts Frodo as both Ring-bearer and Hobbit, because if he didn’t, Frodo would have failed. 

And while they made Mal in the show a lot nicer than his book counterpart, he still doesn’t work as Alina’s “True North”, because he cossets her in her selfishness. He may say he doesn’t care about how Alina is a Grisha in this one, but he also doesn’t consider the implications of it all - which is especially glaring given he’s a soldier himself. Like, look, if you’re going to slap in a racism plotline to make Mal/ina work, you’d think that being half-Shu would give Mal a little awareness that people are going to treat Alina badly for being half-Shu AND a Grisha, and given Alina is the MOTHERFUCKING SUN SUMMONER AND A SAINT, maybe, just maybe he’d tell her: “Heh, it’s kinda lame we’ll just run off and let everyone else in the dust, you know, especially since we could make our lives as well as everyone else’s better?” Seriously, if you’re going to make Mal Alina’s “True North”, have him face her duties and her calling whether she likes it or not, don’t coddle her when she wants to run the other way because she wants to hide under a rock for the rest of her life. 

With all that being said, that leaves us with the Darkling, who... I mean, given his whole schtick is that power corrupts and makes you evil and crazy, I guess that makes him Gollum, but sexy. 

Gollum, but sexy. 

That single expression has been haunting me ever since I started writing the above novel and I fucking hate it. You’re welcome. No one wanted Sexy Gollum. Absolutely no one. Fuck this shyte. See, this is why I want Darkling Redemption. I do not want to live in a world where Gollum is sexy. I need brain bleach. 

Even here it doesn’t even fucking work because Gollum hid in a cave with the Ring with a strategically placed cloth because no one wants to see his crusty ass family jewels anyway, while Aleks worked his ass off to give the Grisha a safe place to live and to at the very least ensure they’re useful enough to not be killed like animals. Like, if you’re going to give the world something that’s gonna definitely not make me sleep tonight like Sexy Gollum, at least do it right. 

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

How do you think the Cullen's would have turned out if they lived their natural human lives and not forever frozen at an age / the state they were in? For example I think Carlisle would always be kind and tame but perhaps not as idealistic. Rose might grow bitter of the world since even if Royce didn't assault her I can't imagine he would be the loving husband she wanted. Edward, who watched his parents die and was dying himself, might not be as moody and miserable. Who knows about Jasper and Alice and Esme. Emmett would probably stay the same. Bella, if she never met the supernatural, probably would just be a quiet old soul but otherwise not mal adjusted. I can't even guess about Renesmee haha since she has no personality next to being ~inhumanly special.

I mean, sadly, we know the answer: they wouldn't be around very long and would have died miserably. There's no such thing as a natural human life, well, I suppose you can die of old age, but the fate of the Cullens didn't have that in store.

But let's get into it just the same.

Alice

Had James not come across Alice, she likely still would have been turned at some point by her maker, who seems to have been very fond of her. It was just a matter of time. The difference being that, instead of being a newborn completely on her own, her maker would have been there. This is an Alice very unlikely to see Jasper or the Cullens in her future, though who knows, Carlisle and her maker might very well cross paths someday due to the similarity of their work.

But I doubt Alice would ever end up on the diet.

For Alice to remain human, she can never have been sent to that asylum. In which case we have two options a) she's not sent to an asylum b) she's sent to a different asylum.

In the first case, Alice is more than likely murdered by her father. This is what got her sent off in the first place: she was running around town claiming that her father had murdered her mother and now planned to murder her. To shut the hysterical woman up, her father sent her to an insane asylum. Which effectively got her out of his life just as he wished.

If that didn't occur to him, then yes, Alice likely falls gravely ill or has some unfortunate accident that she cannot prevent.

Otherwise, Alice is sent to some other insane asylum, likely still loses all her memories due to electroshock therapy, and probably dies very young due to poor health conditions. The life she does live is utterly miserable.

Bella

Bella dies in a parking lot, she's hit by a truck out of control. Otherwise, Bella dies in Port Angeles, she's raped and her body abandoned in a dumpster. Otherwise, Bella is eaten by a vampire.

And if Bella miraculously survives all of that, I imagine her struggle with depression continues throughout high school and into college. In college, she may meet someone who catches her interest, in which case she becomes completely codependent on them for a sense of validation (as she did Edward and Jacob in canon).

The relationship is a toxic mess, ends in a very messy breakup, and Bella goes through her New Moon phase a bit later. She might finally get therapy and survive this very dangerous phase in her life, at which point, she finally starts the slow recovery from depression.

I imagine Bella will be struggling with depression though for all of her life and, if left untreated, it might very well kill her.

Carlisle

Had Carlisle not been turned this means the vampire likely drained him. Carlisle dies at the head of the mob, this sentences the other Cullens to death as well as now no one will turn them.

Let's say Carlisle wasn't as fast that day. He had a leg cramp, or something. Not being well in front of the others, he's not hit by the vampire first. This increases his chances of death, as the vampire seems to have killed the rest he took a bite of, but he could survive.

Carlisle lives with the haunting guilt that the one time he tracks down a true demon he brought death to his parish. Several died due to his actions, the demon got away, and now there's no sign of it. Carlisle completely and utterly failed.

This is probably the final straw for Carlisle. Demons exist, but they are beyond his capacity to hunt, this is a job for God and not mere mortal men. He stops the demon hunts, stops the witch hunts, and focuses himself strictly on helping the community and preaching.

He lives knowing his father would have continued to be sorely disappointed in everything he does.

Carlisle likely marries within a few years, now that his father is dead and he's the established head of the parish. He may or may not like his wife all that much, but he has a responsibility, and having a wife and children is one of those. I imagine that they either are somewhat fond of each other or quietly tolerate one another.

If Carlisle has a son, the son is trained as a priest, sent to seminary as he was, and set to inherit the parish. If he has only daughters, then it will be her husband who will inherit the parish.

When Carlisle dies he is likely remembered very fondly by the parish for the good he did for the community. No one talks about the demon hunting disaster. He's buried next to his father.

Edward

Edward dies of the Spanish Influenza in 1918.

Had he never caught it, and thus never come across Carlisle, I imagine he lives a somewhat ordinary life. He goes to university somewhere very well established, perhaps even one of the Ivy League schools, I can see him training to become a lawyer. He either joins his father's law firm or, if his father's not a lawyer, some law firm in Chicago where he does quite well for himself.

He probably courts then marries some affluent, well to do, woman who hits all the checkmarks he expects from society. They probably get on quite well.

The market then crashes in 1929, when Edward's only 29 years old, and Edward gets to live through the depression. Edward may be lucky enough to retain his wealthy, however, he very well could not have been. Edward is now unemployed, destitute, and miserable just like the rest of the country.

I imagine this is very hard on him, he becomes very bitter and resentful, and as he desperately tires to find work it just gets worse. Edward becomes mired in cynicism.

Then the war hits, Edward is now 41, and he's too old to enlist in the army. He feels a sense of nostalgic bitterness that, once again, he can't go fight the good fight and has to cheer from the sidelines. Nonetheless, the economy starts to recover thanks to the war, Edward recovers with it and things get better.

Edward lives his ordinary human life and, perhaps, lives to sometime in the 1990's.

Emmett

Emmett is eaten by bears.

Had he not happened to be in the mountains that day then, likely, some other unfortunate accident would have befallen him. He's a mountain man, that's a dangerous life.

He gets eaten by bears, eaten by mountain lions, injured somehow and then dies, hit by a tree that he cut down, there are so many possibilities.

If he does live to an older age then he becomes the gruff mountain man stereotype that we all know. I imagine he remains a very friendly, cheerful, man, probably marries some local girl and has a very large family.

Esme

Esme kills herself. With the death of her child, that was the path she chose, and had she not been turned she would have been successful.

However, had her child lived, I imagine her life would have continued on the path it was on. She would have been a single mother, working as a teacher, and raising her child.

They would have been poor, but Esme seemed determined to make this work, and was doing an excellent job at it.

Perhaps, in time, she would meet the right man and remarry. However, I think that would take a lot of time as the whole issue was that she was hung up on the ideal of Dr. Carlisle Cullen who she met when she was sixteen and never saw again.

Regardless, she's far more of a real person grounded in reality than Esme the vampire ever was.

Jasper

Had Jasper not come across Maria, he likely would have died in the war. Many, many, people died in the civil war, and Jasper would be far from alone in that.

If not, he would have returned to the ravaged south, and likely found himself facing unemployment and very difficult times for wherever he came from.

Jasper would likely pull through, we know he has lived through hell in canon and pulled through there, though changed for life by the horrors of the civil war that will now never quite leave him.

Renesmee

Renesmee is never born. Her father is a demon a hundred years older than her mother. There is no chance that Bella becomes pregnant with Edward's human child, let alone his vampire child.

If Bella does become pregnant with a vampire child, she's likely been raped by Joham. Bella dies in confusion and agony, Renesmee is born into this world utterly alone, is picked up by Serena, and becomes yet another sister of Nahuel's.

Renesmee lives the miserable life that all of Nahuel's siblings do.

Rosalie

Rosalie is gang raped to death by Royce and his friends and dies in agony in an alley. Had she not come across Royce that night then likely, after they marry, he at some point rapes her to death and murders her.

The likelihood of Rosalie, with her parent's ambitions and her looks, of not marrying Royce is very small.

Even then, Royce is in town in general, that means all she needed was one bad night. Which, in canon, she had.

However, let's say she lives and Royce wasn't interested in her hand, she marries option number two. As you note, her marriage still likely isn't fulfilling. Rosalie is there to be beautiful and poised, to have tea with the ladies in society, and watch as a governess raises her children.

This is the world she lives in, and she accepts that, but over time she becomes increasingly bitter and resentful of this thing we call life.

TL;DR Remember, there's no escape from the pit of despair we call Twilight