#i was gonna do most of the elements but that would have taken too long for all my thoughts

[defensivelee]

ptable oc lore plox :000

oh my that's quite a hefty question, it took me a while to answer! i've not fully developed the world but here's what i know:

The 'periodic table' concept is a sort of second realm that has existed since the very early beginnings of the universe. The elements live among humans in their distribution of themselves throughout the world and universe, but it is outlawed in their kingdom to reveal their living forms to humans for their king believes that the appreciation of humans by way of science and not dogma is the way to go. While the elements are amused by the love they receive, they will not hesitate to harm humanity if they think it's necessary, or even just for fun.

Their forms were originally much more animalistic and abstract, but with the development of humanity over history, they began to copy human qualities such as wearing clothes, walking upright, and even learning a few human languages here and there. The original language of the elements, however, is called Atomic, and for many of them, it is still the only language they can speak.

The elements are divided into a strict hierarchy, in this order:

His Majesty Hydrogen, king of the universe.

The non-metals, members of the royal family and close advisors of hydrogen.

The noble gases, aristocrats of the periodic table and headed by the princess helium.

The alkali metals, military leaders of the periodic table and headed by the general lithium.

The alkaline earth metals, some working with the alkali metals and others more with the transition metals; headed by beryllium.

The transition metals, messengers between humanity and the periodic table, working closely and in secret with the IUPAC; headed by gold.

The post-transition metals, same as the transition metals but due to their comparative weakness are harder to employ by the kingdom; headed by aluminum.

The halogens, vigilantes and assassins both for humanity and the throne; headed by fluorine.

The actinides, powerful allies as well as occasional enemies/traitors to the throne; headed by uranium.

The lanthanides, unrecognized servants of humanity and headed by lanthanum.

The metalloids, generally doing whatever and de jure headed by silicon.

I don't know the details of every element yet, so here's just the rulers of the table:

As hydrogen was born first, he named himself king and protector of the universe. He models his appearance off of Louis XIV, as he greatly envies the title of the 'Sun King'-- he did, after all, have a huge role in creating the sun. He can be sweet once you get to know him, but usually he's very stern and says very little. He is omnipotent. He is married to helium and is very in love with her.

Helium was born soon after hydrogen was, but as she wasn't born quite at the exact same time, he made her a princess rather than a queen. Her clothes is usually taking inspiration from Mary II in terms of colors and sometimes style, but it looks more fantastical and cloud-esque. She's hard to befriend as she can come off as very standoffish, but she cares deeply for her subjects and does well in keeping the nobles in check. She has a rather high-pitched voice that makes her sound younger than she really is.

[thelostconsultant]

The leak

pairing: Oscar Piastri x reader

summary: Someone recorded you and your boyfriend having sex, and now parts of the recording are being released, letting the world know that you're seeing each other.

warning: mentions of sexual activities, bdsm-ish elements, dom!Oscar, dark!Oscar, aaaaaand that's it. I think. So MDNI.

note: It started out as something kinky, then I figured out who recorded and leaked the whole thing. This was meant to be a short drabble, something to take my mind off the other fic I'm working on...

This had to be a nightmare. 

Your phone began to buzz late in the afternoon, signaling message after message, but you didn't really care about it until your manager called and told you to check social media sites. And there they were, snippets and screenshots from a sex tape, showing you and your boyfriend in what seemed to be his hotel room two days ago.

Whoever recorded and shared this made sure to pick the spiciest parts. The most “popular” video was the moment he put the beige collar on you, then grabbed the golden chain to pull you into a hungry kiss. His orders could be heard crystal clear, and his dominant personality which was in such stark contrast with his usual behavior was now out in the open. 

Your first instinct was to send a message to your chronically online boyfriend, but then you realized this was an emergency and calling him was the best approach now. It didn’t take him long to answer, and his voice was so calm you thought he didn’t know anything. “Hey, baby, what is it? I’ve been thinking about you, are you–”

“Oscar, you haven’t checked social media sites lately, have you?” you asked, your voice thin from the anxiety that had taken over the moment you saw the first snippet. 

There was a short pause, then he went, “The videos? Yeah, that might be a problem.”

“Might be a problem? It’s already a problem!” you corrected him. “People know we’re together, and what’s worse, they know what we do in bed. We kept everything under wraps for a reason.”

Little did you know that Oscar was everything but surprised by this turn of events. Why would he be surprised when it was him who hid that camera in his hotel room, and it was also him who sent it out to someone he knew would spread it like wildfire. He remained an anonymous source, of course, but he knew it was all his work. And he was proud of it. 

He had been begging you to make your relationship official, but you were too worried about what your fans would say. So he decided to take matters into his own hands, showing the world what a good little girl you were for him. He was proud of you, he wanted to show you off, and he wanted you to come to as many races as you could. Just to be his lucky charm, and maybe the solution to releasing some stress if a session was frustrating. 

“Why don’t you come over until people move on from this? We can nestle in my apartment eating ice cream, watching movies… Come on, it’s gonna be fun,” he tried, his voice sickeningly sweet. 

You took a deep breath that you soon let out slowly, giving yourself time to think. “All right, my manager told me to stay under the radar anyway.”

“Great. See you soon then.”

He won. You come over, stay for a few days, and he’ll do his damn best to convince you to stay for good. You would have fun on your own. He would train you to be the kind of obedient little thing he always wanted you to be. Why would you need to make decisions when he can choose for you? You’d realize this was for the best, he just had to be smart and patient.

[tremendouscreationperson]

Logan x Reader pt.10

Omg Im so sorry I'm not consistent with posting, it's my nans 70th so I am off this week so I should be able to be a bit better

Also my bestie's bestie and her wife got tickets to the eras tour without me and are going today so I needed Logan to comfort me - hence the posting 🤣🤣🤣

There be hysterectomy talk in this one

<<Part 9 Part 11>> Masterlist

Logan seemed to have fucked most of the anger out of his system. Not all. He was still frosty but he now spoke with you, entertained your small talk. 

“You hungry?” He asked, various fast food joints passing you by. 

“Yeah.” The nurses had given you food but after certain activities you weren't going to pass anything greasy up.

“What’d’ya want?” 

“Literally anything.” You scanned the street and pointed to the McDonalds. “That'll do.” Can't go wrong with a Maccas. 

“What you thinking?” 

“I dunno, do they still do the big n’ tasty?” 

“No.” He pulled into the car park. “You want to go in and look at the menu?”

You did but time was of the essence. “As long as we're quick.” 

“We can be quick.”  He hummed, reversing into a space.

You both hopped out of the jeep and entered the building. It was fairly dull in here. Wasn't McDonald's colourful? Full of children's characters and clowns? It was grey and brown and sleek and boring. 

Logan walked past you and tapped on a screen. It displayed all the different menu categories. 

“McDonalds has screens now?” You laughed in disbelief. You tapped the ‘whats new’ option. Everything had gotten bigger. There were larger nugget meals and burgers and wraps. 

Garlic cheese dippers, selects and all sorts of tasty goodness. 

You chose yourself a triple cheeseburger meal and some nuggets on the side. He picked a chicken box, a Big Mac meal and an array of sides. 

“You sure that's all you can eat?” You joked. 

“Fast metabolism.” 

“Are we going to be able to fit this all in the car?” 

“Yeah.” He pulled out his card. 

“Oh wait!” You quickly pressed the back button and ordered a strawberry milkshake. “A peace offering.” 

Logan's brows pulled an inch but he didn't comment. Laura was yet to have a milkshake, diabolical behaviour on your part. 

Your order number was 66. There were a lot of numbers before you so you perched on the back of an unoccupied booth.

Logan stood straight next to you, as though he was standing guard. So you decided to take advantage of that. Of him watching out for you. Your mind wandering to your ‘new’ body. You could heal. That was crazy. You still didn't understand the science behind that. The TVA had painlessly taken blood, spit and plasma samples. They had checked you for any diseases the Void could offer but the illuminati didn't. How did they have your materials to meld with the regenerative ones? Maybe they didn't. Surely they wouldn't just experiment with you though. Hopefully you weren't a guinea pig. 

“How fast you reckon it's gonna be?” You questioned looking at your wrists. 

“I dunno, twenty minutes max?” Logan turned from the screen to look at you. 

“No.” You giggled. “Healing.”

“Oh.” His eyes flickered to where you had exposed your wrist. “I wouldn't know.” 

You thrust it towards him. “Will you do the honours?” 

“Are you being fucking serious?” He stepped back. “After everything I've said you think I'd just cut you?” 

Okay okay, that was maybe a poor move on your part. “I guess?”

He rolled his eyes. “Ain't happening.” 

You grumbled but formed a field, manipulating it into a thin disc, making sure one edge was paper thin. Even a paper cut could show you.

The slice you had planned didn't work so you had to try again and yes! Well, maybe don't be too happy.. what would Dave say?! 

The cut was teeny. It was about ten centimetres but the little dot of blood told you it wasnt superficial. There was at least an element of actual harm. 

“I hate you.” Logan folded his arms. 

“No you don't, just watch.” 

The cut did nothing.

The two of you just staring, transfixed, at your wrist. 

“Maybe it has to be deepe-ahhh.” 

You could feel a warmth, it was hot. Red hot. And your skin was stretching. You could feel it tying itself together. None of this was really visible but the line did close. You had imagined healing wouldn't hurt... Yet here you were. 

You smirked up smugly. “It works!” 

He huffed but you could see how happy he was. His eyes were lit and his lips had tugged upwards. 

“Brilliant, eh?” 

“It's pretty good.” He kissed your crown. 

~~

You couldn't wait for the lift. Too excited. But taking the stairs wasn't an option so you did in fact wait for the lift. 

Gosh it took fucking forever.

Logan hadn't let you out of his sight, barely leaving to collect the food bags. He was really fucking happy. 

You were going to be safer than ever. 

All he could imagine as you lay in the hospital bed was “what ifs”. He knew it was entirely possible that he could hurt you. He knew he had nightmares and had had to buy a new mattress before due to them. He knew his claws came out when you fucked so what was to stop them when he was scared?

He hated the ideas so he projected them onto the one that had hurt you. 

Laura.

Laura was him. 

He'd never deny that. 

She was a younger version of him. 

She was the one that hurt you and I'm a way that spared Logan. 

She was to blame. 

“Laura!” You called as soon as the elevator doors opened. “Baby?” Jogging towards her door. 

You then halted. 

“What-ho-how do I approach this?” 

Logan didn't know. If he hurt you he'd be fucking distraught. He would kill himself a few times just to feel nothing, to stop the guilt. “Just be yourself?” 

You let out a whine but carried on and knocked at the door. It was open. The pressure of your knock opened the door. 

“Laura?” Your voice was unsure but you pushed the door the rest of the way and entered the dark home. 

The curtains were drawn and the lights were all off making it almost impossible to see her slip through the bedroom door, looking worse for wear, and stick to the corner. 

She was still wearing the clothes she had worn that night. Blood covering her hands and splattered across the mateiral. Her hair was unwashed, her eyes hollow, she hugged herself as she watched you move into the room. 

“Baby.” You raised the cup. “I finally got you that milkshake. It's strawberry. I think chocolate can sometimes be a bit meh so strawberry is the next best.” Why were you rambling?

Laura's eyes flicked to the cup and then to your ever present shadow: Logan. 

“I'm gonna… put it on the table?” You placed the cup in-between the two of you. “It's nice." 

She didn't make any movements.

Let's just cut to the chase then. “Laura, I'm fine.” You gestured to yourself. “In fact Tony Stark was able to alter my genes. I heal like you and Logan.” 

Her brow twitched. 

“Look.” You repeated the field and sliced across your arm. Laura's eyes widened and she gasped at the blood. Ah fuck. Maybe you shouldn't have. “Laura, just watch. It takes a second then it w-orks.” 

She watched your skin sew itself back together and her eyes watered. 

“Baby,” You weren't going to stand there and let her cry. “I'm coming over.”

She didn't back up, letting you stride to her. You immediately pulled her into a bone crushing hug, and she sobbed into your shoulder. 

“I'm fine and I don't blame you.” You repeated over and over again. “I love you.” She clutched onto your back, her body shaking with sorrow. “I don't blame you. You're my baby and I love you.” 

Logan took a step forward causing her to tense. 

“Lo stay back on this one.” You shushed into her ear, threading fingers through her hair. “It's okay Laura, he's not going to do anything.” 

It took a while but she did ease back into the embrace, her tears slowly creasing. 

Laura stepped back, looking at you with fat wet eyes. She gave you the tiniest nod and stepped around you to pick up the milkshake. 

She handed it to you and you took a drink. “I'd never poison you, love.” 

Laura seemed satisfied that you didn't die so took a drink herself. 

You could see the thoughts zooming through her mind. It was cold. Thick. Tasted unlike anything she'd had before. But she liked it. 

Laura drank silently from the straw and gave you the smallest hint of a smile when she released it. 

“I knew you'd like it baby.” You grinned down at her. “Right, we have to get you cleaned up.” 

~~ 

You'd run the bath for her and insist she hop in. Laura removed the crusty clothes and did follow your instructions. Neither of you cared that she was naked. You were past that. 

“Is it warm enough?” 

She nodded. You'd all become accustomed to cool water due to the Void so we're careful when running baths or turning the shower on. If it was too hot it felt suffocating. 

You dunked her sponge into the soapy water and plucked her hands in yours to clean them. The movements were methodical. You cleaned her wrist, then her palms then her knuckles and lastly her nails. She's ripped off the false ones, leaving her natural nails on show. 

When the water was a burgundy colour you let it out and refilled the tub. Laura sat and watched. “We're going to do your hair now. Tilt your head back.” 

You flicked the tap to connect it to the shower head and turned it on. The water splurged out and you hummed softly to undercut the noise. Laura let you rinse her hair. There were bits of dry blood and a leaf? in it. El had said she had run away. Good on them for finding her and bringing her back. Good on El for replacing the mattress and bedding. You'd have to thank them. You loved them so dearly for looking after her. 

Laura's eyes were tired by the time you'd finished. She stood and you wrapped a towel around her shoulders. 

She sat on the lip of the bath so you could towel dry her hair with a smaller towel and comb it. 

“Someone looks sleepy.” You kissed her nose. “C’mon, let's go to bed.”

She took a shaky breath and frantically shook her head. 

“It's okay.” You shushed her. “I'll take you to bed but I won't get in.” 

It broke your heart to see her allow that. You wanted nothing more than to tuck her under your chin and sleep soundly with your bubba. 

Laura pulled on a night shirt and eased into the bed whilst you quickly ran the spray over the tub, erasing any signs of blood. 

You found her in the bed waiting and sat next to her. Your hand smoothed her hair and you found yourself humming a long forgotten tune. It took seconds for her to sleep. 

~~

Logan was on you in an instant - the second - you walked through the door. He squeezed you tightly. 

“I'm okay.” You reassured him. “She's just-it's weird seeing her like that. She's normally so strong.” 

The two of you parted and you let him kiss your forehead. “You're a good mom.” 

You chuckled. “It's not easy.” 

“No.” His head shook. “But you are.”

You don't know why but the determination in his eyes made yours water. You sniffed and looked away. “She likes milkshakes.” 

“Of course she does.” He shrugged. “I do.”  You rolled your eyes at his reply but before you could argue he spoke again. “I'm sorry. I've been a dickhead.” 

“I can get why.” You placed a hand on his sideburn. “I do. But she's just a kid.” 

He nodded and kissed your palm. “You have no idea what would've happened if I lost you again.” 

You did know. He would've gone fucking feral. He would've killed Laura, then the others would've gotten involved and they would've fought and killed and not cared for the consequences. “You didn't lose me.” 

He smiled and bent his neck to kiss you. You met him halfway on your tiptoes, replicating the same amount of need. 

You both knew you were fucked. The world was fucked. Both were damaged goods. The chances of finding each other was next to none yet here you were. Kissing in your shared apartment. 

“I love you.” You whispered into the kiss, Logan used that to his advantage and delved his tongue into your mouth. You hummed letting your own dance with his. 

His hands cradled your face and spine. His palm was so big against your cheek, it made you feel safe. At home. He would protect you. 

You had to break the kiss to breathe, panting against his ear as he kissed his way to your nape. He loved your nape and you loved the way he nipped and sucked it, it was him claiming you. Him owning you. And when he bit down on your neck all your feminism flew out of the window. You would do anything for this man.

The hand on your cheek had travelled down to your chest, cupping a breast and giving it a delicate squeeze. You were still wearing that Deadpool set, with no actual cup, so when his thumb grazed over your nipple you felt everything. 

Logan wasn't one for slow. You knew that to be true because of the way he fucked you previously. But here he was taking his time. Savouring each hitch and groan that tumbled from your lips. 

You were actually being a bit useless here, letting him kiss and fondle you without doing the same. Quick to remedy that your hands found their way to his belt, fingers grazing the skin under his vest, and you tugged him that bit closer.  

Logan crowded you now. He was all you could see, hear, taste, smell and touch. He was all you needed. 

“Logan.” You breathed onto his lips, kissing him again. His lips were smooth, a nice juxtaposition to his gruff hair. Oh, but you loved the scratch. He was so manly. So hairy. He was everything rolled into one. 

You sensually licked his lips as your fingers unhooked his belt. 

Logan's half lidded eyes watched you as you pushed your tongue further out, keeping eye contact as you bent to make your mark on his neck. 

He groaned as you sucked, tongue swirling across the marred flesh. It then made its own way to his chest, kissing and sucking where the vest would allow. 

You gave him one look and he immediately removed the fabric. “Good boy.” You whispered against his pecs. Kissing them and letting your teeth catch certain areas. 

Logan watched with a baited breath and you slowly sunk to your knees. The unbuckled belt sitting at his hips as you unpopped the button, pulling the zipper all the way down. 

He let out a shudder when you nuzzled your nose against the visible boxers. Tugging the jeans down so you could kiss him through the fabric. You'd never get over how big he was. 

He was long and thick and if you thought his dick looked comically large in your hand you knew it would be difficult to swallow down. 

Still though, you teased him through the fabric. Kissing his head and sucking the wet patch. It was gloriously salty. 

“Y/N.” He muttered his hand making a home in your hair. 

You looked up at him as you pulled him from the boxers. His mouth was permanently set in a small ‘o’ but it widened when you licked a stripe from shaft to tip. 

You loved this. This fearsome warrior. This feral beast. The reason to genetically alter you, to ensure he was happy. Was putty in your hands. He would do anything for you. 

Maybe it was fucked up at at this precise moment you understood his plight. Why he was so angry. Why he had taken it out on Laura. She was technically to blame - never in your eyes though - and you got why he snapped. 

You sucked the head again before delving deeper. Yeah, you were right, it was far too big but you had hands for a reason. 

Pumping with your mouth and hand you make sure to be delicate. For some reason you wanted this to be soft. You wanted to treat him. Your Logan hadn't minded a bit of teeth but you tried your hardest to keep them away. 

He was trying to suppress his moans, trying to keep cool but he was dying. You were perfect. 

How were you this perfect? 

How did you know what he needed? 

Every fucking day! 

It was like you were a mind reader. 

Maybe you were. 

Maybe they'd altered you that way as well. 

Logan's hips urged to jut forward but he didn't want to ruin this. This was something he hadn't really experienced. This was sweet. This was soft. 

He was quick to fuck but no this wasn't that. You were being too nice for this to be called ‘fucking’. He hates to say it because you were literally just sucking his dick but this was definitely on the “making love” spectrum. 

“You're perfect.” He groaned out. “I fucking love you.” 

You hummed in response and he had to quickly pulled himself out. He could've spilt right there and then.

“Bed.” He ordered. “Now.” 

He wasn't going to cum in your mouth, no, he was going to fill you up. He was going to fuck you so full of his cum. He wanted you dripping.

You frowned cutely, your lips swollen and pouting was fucking amazing. Your cheeks were hot and your eyes were glassy so as he lifted you - pulling you closer - he got to see you. To really see how messy you were. Hair out of place and a line of drool on your chin. Fuck.

He wanted you.

He was going to lock you in the room.

You were his.

No one else's.

“I'm going to fuck you full of my seed.” His lips spoke against yours, not kissing you just touching you. “I'm going to fill you up.” He'd never felt like this before. “Breed you.” 

You shuddered and smiled but then your brows pinched. 

“Logan,” You pulled back to look him in the eye. “I- I don't have a womb.” 

The man stopped in his tracks. “What?” 

You chuckled. “Why else do you think we've been fucking the way we have with no consequences?” 

He made a noise. It made sense. He hadn't smelt the change in your cycle like he had the girls. “Yeah, I guess.” 

“I didn't realise you didn't know.” You looked guilty. “I'm sorry.” 

“No.” He kissed the corner of your mouth. “Don't be sorry.” 

You groaned non sensually. “Have I just killed the mood?” 

“No.” He shook his head and kissed your nose. You knew he was lying. 

“Logan. Don't shut me out, be honest.” 

“I'm just surprised.” He was truthful. “My Y/N had hers.”  

You bit your lip. “If I tell you what happened the mood will definitely be killed.”

He was curious. “C’mon.” He tucked himself back into his boxers and pulled his jeans back up before leading you to the sofa. You sat down, tucking your legs under your chin. He was sitting facing you, giving you his full attention. 

How do you say this in a way that won't set him off? Couldn't you go back to sucking his dick? That was so nice. You sighed. “The scar on my back...”

He lent forward, elbows on his knees. “I'm going to get angry again aren't I?” 

“Stryker had this man in his possession. He could make you see whatever he wanted you to see. Logan didn't know it was me.” 

//

It was confusing to wake up in the infirmary. Jean and Beast looking down at you. 

“Y/N.” Jean breathed in a sigh of relief. “I was worried.”

“You always fix me up.” You joked, feeling very sore. Your back and stomach were aching. It felt alien to be in this much discomfort. 

“We had to perform a procedure on you.” Beast clasped one of your hands. “It's very serious. You will be fine but we had to make a decision.” 

“Okay?” You were even more confused, trying to sit yourself up a little. The pain in your stomach didn't allow for that so you flopped back down.

“You were pierced by Logan and flung across the facility. When you landed you hit your front. A piece of piping damaged your womb and we were unable to save the organ.” 

As Hank spoke you got flashes of the scene. You didn't recall a pipe but you remembered the agony, calling for an evac. Begging for Logan's help. 

“To save my womb..?” You slowly understood. “So I've had a hysterectomy?” 

Jean tried to sooth you, placing a hand on your shoulder. “It is a small price to pay, we could've tried to save it and risked infection, risked your health.” 

“I'm not upset.” You told her matter of factly. “I'm just trying to figure out what happened.” You weren't upset. It wasn't a thing you'd thought of at this age. You weren't really the mothering type. Yeah, you looked after the students but that role was more ‘wine aunt'. You weren't fit to be a mother. Logan would be a good dad though. Oh, you'd have to tell him. 

What would he say? 

He'd naturally be upset he hurt you but would he forgive himself just to dislike being with you? What if you being unable to give him children was an issue? 

~~ 

You'd been transferred to your room. It was lovely and cosy. Blankets everywhere, pillows strewn and the wooden accents of Xavier's mansion felt more like home than being with your mother. 

You wondered how she was. What would she say about you being barren?

Sitting and sulking was how you spent your days. Food was brought to you - as you couldn't really move - by different members of your family. Scott brought flowers, Ororo made you a gorgeous curry, Jubilee gifted you a teddy. 

Each member of the team was welcome but you were waiting for him. 

They'd all told you he was taking it hard, drinking more, fighting more, caring less and less about his safety. He felt like shit but you didn't blame him. 

You felt guilty for not realising sooner it wasn't Logan. Your fields could stop his claws, they had in training. The two of you were paired up a lot to show the newbies how to fight. You worked well together and it was only a matter of time and rolling about on the floor before he asked you out. 

You decided at the end of the first week that if he wanted kids you wouldn't make him stay. You couldn't. You'd push him away, if needs be. 

It was day twelve when he knocked at the door. You could move, had showered - careful with your stitches - and dressed yourself for the first time. 

“Y/N.” He spoke by the door. 

You looked up from the Hobbit, smiling wide. “Logan, hi.” 

“I'm so so sorry.” He eased his way in, looking uncomfortable in your room in a way he had never previously. 

“Logan, it wasn't you, love.” You closed the book, placing it on your nightstand. “It could've been anyone.” 

“But I hurt you.” 

“I'm okay.” Wasn't exactly the best argument but it was true.

He shuffled over to your bed and sat delicately at your side, his feet still touching the floor. “I couldn't face you. Couldn't see you bruised because of me.” 

The bruising had gone down. You were looking normal again. “Again, babe, I don't blame you.” 

“You should.” His eyes left yours and he looked at the floor. 

The need to comfort him was so strong but you held back. Remembering yourself. You couldn't get too lost. Not when you were lacking. “Do you want kids?” 

The questions surprised both of you. You didn't mean for it to tumble out of your mouth but it had and now it was sitting heavily amongst you. 

Logan looked back at you perplexed. His eyebrows met but he stared into your eyes, considering your question.

He'd almost killed you. He could've killed you. His hands harmed you and you were asking if he wanted kids. Yo- he loved you so much. He should stay away. You'd get hurt again he knew you would. 

But he loved you. Whenever he imagined a future - and that wasn't often - he saw you with him. And now he saw a little girl and boy. The boy looked like him and the girl looked like you but they acted like the other parent. He could see a soft mummy's boy being coddled far too much and a cute feral girl who was ready to take on the world. He could picture them. 

Picture you full with your child. His child. You were glowing. 

“I think we'd be great parents.” He hadn't realised his eyes were watering, quickly swatting the tears away. He'd almost destroyed that future, the one you were offering him. 

You bit your lip and nodded silently. “I think we should break up.” 

~~

Four months later he burst into your bedroom seething. 

“Are you fucking serious?!” He yelled. 

You jumped, snapping the Lord of the Rings shut. “Logan?”

He had left when you broke up with him. Becoming a renegade, a fighter, a mercenary. Whatever it took to forget you. 

It wasn't until Storm needed assistance - fighting off the brotherhood by the cul-de-sac Logan was passing through - when she told him. 

“You ended it because you can't have kids?!” His hands were on his hips and he was pacing back and forth. “I thought I…” He sighed shakily. “I thought I fucked up. I thought the idea of me wanting children with you after almost fucking killing you was terrifying.” 

“Lo, I can't have children.” You explain. “I will die and you will live and that's it. If you find someone that can give you kids then you won't be as lonely. You could have a family.”

He stopped pacing and stared at you. “That’s the most stupid argument I've ever fucking heard.” 

It was but it was all you had.

“I know but I didn't want you to feel trapped.” You sat up and he suppressed a gasp because you were wearing one of his shirts. After all this time you still wore his clothes, it did something to him. Inside his chest ached. “Down the line when you wanted a child and I couldn't give you one… I didn't want you to resent me.” 

“I would never.” He vowed. “I have spent these past months trying to forget that I fucking love you. I could never resent you.” 

Tears oozed from your eyes and you wiped them away. “I'm sorry.” 

He didn't want to break this easily. Didn't want to give in but you were crying. His girl was crying. Logan scooped you up in a hug and kissed your forehead. “Don't ever lie to me again. I don't care what it's about. We'll handle it together.” 

You nodded. “Okay. I promise.” 

\\

Logan sat back, resting his spine against the sofa. "It's okay." He decided. "We already have Laura, we don't need any more."

You smiled. "So you forgive her?"

"'course I do." He heaved a sigh. "Just gotta actually apologise to her."

"I love you." You leant over and kissed his brow. "You look so sexy when you're grovelling."

He rolled his eyes and playfully shoved you off.

Part 11

@littlecrowtime @geeksareunique @lovelyvaderx @br3nt-12 @st1nkabutt @maximumchilddreamland @catiwinky @twinkywink @ravenmedows @electricreader @racetrackheart @vulgarfuckinvirgo77 @bisasterbisexual @tzurue @narniansmagic @seamlessepiphany @4ria790 @caramelatae @mei-simp @slightlymediocree

[eusouumfuckingkoala]

Your name (Alessia Russo x Reader) Part 2

a/n: English isn´t my first language, hope you guys enjoying it, sorry for being so long. Let me know what you think? Also, this is Part 2 of "I don't even know your name".

What you didn't know was that the girls call Alessia to go outside when she saw you, she was ready to go talk to you but when she heard your conversation with Danielle, she thought maybe it wasn't the right time. She couldn't help but see you walk away god knows where all she knew was that once this photoshoot was scheduled she would do anything to win you over, there was no way she wasn't doing something about it this time, after all since that vacation Alessia couldn't take you off her mind, her friend tries to arrange her dates but she didn't want to meet anyone she just wanted to see you again, and the prove was at training when she saw you, she was so infatuated by you that end up with a ball on her face and her friends making fun of her, and Leah and Lotte telling her she was seeing things, but right now was all worth it knowing that she wasn't getting crazy.

1 week later

Today it's the photo shoot of the players, don't ask why but I was too anxious for today, I had sent a few ideas to Danielle so he knew some of them I wanted to be taken on the field, I know normally is inside but I like more outside the players seem more natural in their element than in a room full of lights and cameras I went to the field a little late I could feel someone looking at me but I made my way to Danielle.

"I'm sorry Danielle I got caught in paperwork..."

"No problem we took a few inside, and now we are gonna start the field ones you ask for." he smile at me.

"Thank you, Danielle."

"You don't need to thank me Y/N it's my job, but we can always grab dinner?"

"Sure but I pay this time."

Since you start work here Danielle was a great friend, fun to hang out, with he told me he was into guys the day I told him I like women because I didn't want to lead him on it was funny but most people didn't know he was, we got along pretty well after that.

I feel someone behind me but didn't think much about it until Danielle give me a light smirk and walk away, I turn around and meet ocean-blue eyes making all body interrupt with goosebumps.

"Hi..."

"Oh Hi, it's..." I couldn't finish my sentence I was in too much shock, it was her there was no doubt but was your imagination playing tricks on you again?

"So you have a date?" She look disappointed.

"What?" what doesn't she mean I got a date? Am I missing something here?

"Nothing just... just forget it I say anything it was nice to see you again." she just turn around and walk back to her friends.

So it was her, but where did she get the idea that I have a date? I was in so much shock that I didn't even get the time to replay before she walks away only leaving my mouth a whisper "Wait." you facepalm yourself, you have been waiting to meet her again and all you thought about was what you gonna say to her, but not being able to barely say a word wasn't in your plans special not asking her why she thought you are dating. How messed up, am I? So you made a note to talk to her after the photo shoot ends.

Throughout the photoshoot you couldn't take your eyes off her scared that the girl that's been haunting your dreams would vanish, the way she smiles, her natural beauty was breathtaking, and the way her name fits her perfectly you couldn't stop yourself from repeating her name in your head "Alessia" the girl who haven't leave your memory since Spain. The team was doing a break she was talking with her friends when she look at me and I could see her lightly blush with a soft smile but there was something in her eyes that I couldn't figure out what it was.

"What got you all cloudy?" Danielle say since he was also on a break.

"Nothing... the photoshoot it's going pretty well." I smiled at him.

"I am surprised you pay any attention!" he smirk at me.

"What do you mean? I come to watch the photo shoot." I look at him confused.

"Yeah lie to yourself you think I didn't see the looks between you and Alessia!"

I blush and punch his arm playfully "Stop it! It's not like that?" You say more like a question than a conviction.

"Are you asking me? Because honestly, it could be!"

"No, I'm not, stop playing around!"

"Go talk to her Y/N!"

When he walked away I was thinking about it but then I thought she is with her friends having a good time I don't wanna mess that up or should you try to explain to her, this need to justify yourself to her was weird, you never feel this need to explain things to anyone, but what isn't new since I meet her in Spain.

On the other hand, Alessia was being teased about you.

"So what happened? You talk to your girl!" Alessia was taken off her thought by Lotte.

"Nothing happened..." she sights a bit sad that she was too late.

"So you didn't ask her out?" Leah said.

"You need to ask her out Russo, you haven't stopped talking about her, since you came back from that trip!" Katie says making Alessia sigh.

"Just stop I'm not gonna embarrass myself!" she was getting annoyed by her friends.

"What do you mean the girl didn't take her eyes off you." Leah says frustrated with Alessia.

"She as a date Leah!"

"How do you know if you didn't ask her out?" Lotte says trying to change her friend's mind.

"When I went to talk to her I overheard her talk with Danielle about going to dinner..." The blonde looked down sad, only looking up when her friends start to laugh "What? It's not funny guys I fall for a straight girl that's not cool!!" before they could explain to her, she walks away to the next shoot since the break just finished.

You are admiring her once the photographs start to work again, and you are lost in your thoughts until your phone start to ring, you look at the ID seeing it's your dad you thought about declining the call because honestly, you don't have a great relationship besides he never support your dreams always bring you down, special after you had to quiet football everything got even worse. But at the same time probably your mom wanna talk to you so you accept the call.

"Hi..."

"Hi, where are you?"

"Working."

"Finally doing something with your life!" you pinch the bridge of your nose sight, you saw a ball pretty close to you so you start playing with it to distract yourself.

"What do you want?"

"Nothing can't call my daughter!"

"You never call me so what do you expect."

"Fine, your mom wants me to talk to you!"

"Of course, she did." If it wasn't because of her he wouldn't even call.

"Look Y/N don't even start you should be the one calling not me."

"Yeah sure your perfect."

"Who do you think you are? You need to respect me..." really him talking about respect I don't have time for this.

"I need to get back to work bye."

We were going to start to argue again so I just end the call and I kick the ball hard enough to go in from where I was almost in the middle field, the ball got in the top left side of the net without even looking. Once you look up from your feet you saw everyone looking at you with surprise in their eyes making you feel nervous.

"I'm sorry guys, did I hit anyone?"

"No, it's all good!" Katie said.

"How did you do that? I don't think I could save that one." Manu says.

You rub the back of your neck a nervous habit you have, you struggle with your shoulders not wanting to talk about the fact you had to give up on football.

"I got lucky..."

"Impossible that wasn't just luck!" Lotte and Katie say at the same time.

You dismissed them and went over to one of the computers to see the photos that have been taken, once the photoshoot was over you didn't even notice that the team was starting to pack up.

"Y/N don't you have something to do before dinner?" I look at Danielle I look around and I didn't see her anywhere "They just walk in to change."

You nod at him "Thank you!" you walk a little faster to the locker room you knock on the door since you didn't want to make them uncomfortable and walk on them getting changed Leah opens the door "It's Alessia still here?" you ask hopefully.

"Yes, she is finishing get ready."

"Do you mind telling her I will wait here for her?" You ask a bit nervous.

"No problem, she will be happy." She gave a gentle smile.

I smile at her as she walks inside again, you lean against the wall waiting for her, it's this a good idea? I just got this job. I mean it's not like we have anything I just wanna explain and hope this doesn't go south, you are taken off your thought once you hear the door open.

"Hi..." you straight up yourself fixing your clothes.

"You are looking for me?" She asks with a smile.

"Yeah...I... wanna explain..." why am I studdering right now before I could continue she interrupt me.

"You don't have to explain yourself, I hope you're happy!" She gave a small smile, now you understand what you are seeing in her eyes was sadness even though she had a smile on her face.

"That's the thing I don't get where you got that idea from?"

"I thought you are going on a date tonight." she say playing with her fingers.

"Oh you mean Danielle?" You giggle holding yourself to not laugh right into her face "I'm sorry..."

"No, you too?" Alessia say not getting what was so funny.

"What do you mean?"

"Those assholes inside also start laughing once I tell them about it, I don't get the joke it's not funny." you hide your smile once you saw she was serious.

"Lessi he likes man."

"Oh!" You could see her blush and get embarrassed.

"Yes Oh!" I couldn't help but smile at her cuteness, before she talks again some of the girls start to get out of the locker room, they smirking at us.

"Did you already embarrass yourself?" Katie teases Alessia.

"Shut up you guys are the worse!" She says trying to hide herself, they keep teasing her about what she says.

"It's not funny I'm falling for a straight girl." Lotte says and Leah pushes her "What?" that makes you look at them with a confused face.

"Straight? Well, good luck with that then, that's the worse!" they start to laughing "It wasn't that funny guys."

"It was because you both are so clueless!" Leah say laughing, before I could answer my phone rang I look at it and it was my dad again, what it's happening today this is just annoying.

"Are you going to answer that?" Alessia asks curious, once you put your phone back in your pocket.

"No, it's not important." I give her a small smile "But I also have to go, see you guys around?"

"Yeah of course!" the girls say but once I look at Alessia she was quiet you didn't want to leave but you also don't know if it's the right thing to stay, so you push your feelings aside.

"Can I just talk to you quickly?" She says the moment she got off her trace, you see in the corner of your eyes the girls walking away giving you two a little privacy.

"We will wait at the car. Bye Y/N!"

"Bye, guys!" Your eyes never left her blue eyes but she was so quiet, you could see she was deep in her thoughts "It's everything okay Lessi?"

"Yeah, I just...do you wanna drink a coffee or grab dinner someday?" This means she wanna go on a date with me or it's a friend's thing? I never thought she would ask me this, of all people I need to calm down why I'm overreacting "If you don't want to I completely understand." she said to bring you off your little freakout.

"I would love to grab some dinner."

"Great when you can just text me." she says all excited starting to walk away.

"Alessia?" she looks back at me curious "I don't have your number."

"Oh right silly me!" I handle my phone to her once she finishes putting in her phone number she kisses my cheek making me blush your so thankful that she starts to walk away missing your blush creeping up your face "I will be waiting to talk to you soon."

I smile watching her walk away once again but this time was different I knew her name I look at the contact she put in and smile at it "Spain Babe 🤍", I was taken off my thought by Danielle.

"What got you all smiling?"

"Nothing..."

"You know your terrible liar, but I was gonna ask if we can grab dinner another day because I'm gonna stay all night working?"

"Yeah sure no problem, do you need any help?"

"No, but do me a favor go get your girl." he smiles at me and pushes me once he walks away.

"I will." I whisper to myself since he walks away, making my way to your office to finish some papers, you text Alessia so she could save your number when you are almost finished your phone lights it up.

From Spain Babe 🤍

Hi, so I know you probably have plans for tomorrow but me and the team are going to have a relaxing day at the pool, if you wanna show up here is the address.

Besides the team didn't get the chance to meet you.

You grab your things and went home thinking if you should go I mean they seem good people, but was it the right move in the back of your head you know it wouldn't do warm but you also don't know if you should go because what if she just wants a friendship you guys meet at the bar it's not like people are looking for a relationship. What am I thinking I don't even know if she likes me? Sure she seems sad about me going on a date, but that doesn't mean anything, right? I need to stop overthinking. You grab your phone and think about what will you answer.

To Spain Babe 🤍

Sure it would be fun to get to know them better.

Do you need me to bring something?

I don't seem desperate, you are going to turn off the phone but before you could Alessia already answer.

From Spain Babe 🤍

The team will love to meet you.

Just bring yourself 😉

My heart skip a beat at the last text, but I know I shouldn't read much into it from what Danielle told me about the team Alessia it's a kind girl and a sweetheart so you know it would only hurt you think there is something more when there isn't.

Next day

I woke up early but I decided it was best just to go meet the Team after lunch I was too nervous, besides it's their day off I didn't wanna get much in the way of that so after lunch I drive to address Alessia send me yesterday I took a deep breath before ringing the doorbell I ear some steps it was Lotte and Leah.

"Hi, I'm sorry Lessi invited me..." I say a little nervous.

"Yeah, we know glad you could come because she didn't stop talking about you." Lotte say making me blush a little, did she talk about me that much "Besides the team is excited to get to talk to you since the other day they didn't get the chance."

"Come on in!" Leah say and we all made our way to the backyard "Guys, Y/N it's here!"

They all turn to look at me and say "Hi" I hear Katie say "Finally now Alessia will stop the whining." I gave them a wave.

"Hi guys hope I'm not bothering your time off."

"None sense!" I hear Sabrina say and smile at me I return with a smile still a bit shy I mean they are all athletic professionals and well I'm just me, Leah starts to tell me who was who from the girls I haven't met until I see someone on the corner of my eye walking up to us, I start to get undress just staying on my bikini I lose my balance and end up in someone's arms, I turn around.

"Thanks, Sabrina."

"No problem, if you fall I will catch you." she smiled and winked at me I gave her a little smile and walk to the end of the pool sitting with my feet in the water, Leah sit beside me we are talking and Alessia was in the pool making her way to me she stop in front of me getting up and kiss my cheek and hug me, I hug her back my whole body got goosebumps the feeling of her cold body against mine and this closeness was new of course we have been close that night at the bar but nothing like this.

"I glad you could come." she whisper, hiding her face in my neck.

"Me too." I kiss her cheek.

"Get a room!" Katie yell, making us pull away and blush I saw a light blush on Alessia's cheeks she was playing with her fingers maybe so no one could see it.

She turn around I thought she was leaving next thing I know I pull her back hugging her shoulders from behind and pulling her back against my front I didn't have time to restrict myself, I don't know why I was so comfortable around her I didn't want her to leave the feeling it's so familiar and relaxing, she looks up at me and smile relaxing against me. We are all talking and having fun, Sabrina sometimes would come and talk to me I didn't think anything of it I mean they are all trying to get to know me and make me feel welcome.

"Thanks for inviting me, it's so hot today." I say to them it was a pretty hot day, thankfully we are at the pool.

"Well I don't doubt you are hot, you haven't let go of Alessia!" Lotte says making all of the group laugh I blush looking down just to be meet with Alessia's eyes she had a sweet smile mixed with a light smirk, and she turn around hugging my torso.

"That can be fixed!" Alessia says pulling me with her underwater making me scream, when the cold water hit my warm body since I haven't gotten in the water, once we surf up I lightly punch her shoulder before putting my arms around her neck since she was holding me.

"Why did you do that!?"

"Well you say you're hot I just wanted to help." she give me a smile making me smile at her.

"You are lucky you are cute and I like you." those words left my mouth so fast that I didn't have time to stop them, every time I am around her I don't have control of my actions it's kind of embarrassing, besides our faces are so close right now I blush at the realization.

"Oh really what if I told you..." She was cut off by Sabrina doing a bomb beside us, once she emerged she looked at us.

"Do you want a drink?" Alessia's sight pulling away letting go of me.

"Yeah, sure." I was gonna follow Alessia but Sabrina grabbed me back "Do you need something?"

"I was wondering if you want..." zooming out the moment I saw Alessia walk away without sparing me another look that hurts and I don't even know why I slightly.

"Sorry, what do you need?" I say looking at Sabrina.

"Can I take you on a date?" She says hopefully.

"Sabrina I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong idea but I don't see you that way."

"Oh yeah of course don't worry." I gave her a small smile and make my way to the edge of the pool to Leah, she was a great person to talk to I actually could see myself having a great friendship with her.

"Leah, do you know what's wrong with Lessi?" I say looking at Lessi now far away from me talking with Katie, Leah looks at her and then at me.

"You really are that clueless?" I frown still not taking my eyes from Lessi, not understanding what she means "Sabrina has been all over you since you arrive Y/N/N."

"Did she? I mean she just ask me out? But I haven't been paying attention... anyway, what does that have to do with Lessi?" I say this time looking at Leah confused.

"Oh god, do I need to make you a drawing? Look Alessia hasn't shut up about you since you guys meet, she invited you here to meet her friends, how would you feel if one of your friends was trying to hit on the person you like?"

"Does she?" I ask her a bit taken aback.

"What?" She asks confuse.

"Like me..."

"You are clueless of course she does!"

"No, I mean more than a friend?"

"Yes!"

"But I hear she is a sweetheart, and everyone likes to be around her, I thought it was just her being thoughtful."

"Y/N I'm telling you this because I considered you my friend and I like you! Yes Alessia is one of the kindness people that everyone can meet, but there is a difference in the way she does it with you, she is too shy at the beginning, but with you she wasn't, she is following you around like a lost puppy, besides the way she looks at you... I never saw her like this before. I just hope you take care of her."

"I will..." I say while looking at Alessia.

I stand up and walk to Alessia and Katie since Alessia had her back to me I grab her hand and lean on her shoulder she looks at me but my eyes are on Katie.

"Do you mind if I steal Lessi just for a bit?"

"Of course not go ahead!" she give me an encouraging smile I pull Alessia with me inside we went to the kitchen and hug her feeling her warm embrace.

"It's everything alright?"

"I should be the one asking you that." I look up at her since she was a bit taller than me.

"Yeah, why do you ask love?" Once I hear that word my heart skip a beat but was also beating like crazy.

"Well you walk away from me, and you haven't talked to me since Sabrina interrupted us."

"It's nothing..." she says trying not to look at me I put my arms around her neck making her look at me her hands resting on my waist.

"You know you can tell me what's bothering you?" she gave me a small smile "I have the feeling I know what this is about..."

"I mean..." she sights "Look I don't wanna be in the way... I... forget it." she tried to walk away but I trap her between me and the balcony.

"Lessi I don't know what you think you are in the way of but I already told you. You aren't besides you expect me to forget it I have been trying to tell you..."

"Sabrina ask you out and you're telling me I'm not in the way? I think you forget it already." she says a bit harsh but with hurt. Why do I get the feeling she is talking about something else?

"Lessi, you are jealous because she asks me out? She is all yours!" I rub my face trying to calm down. "I haven't been able to forget since that night god I couldn't even sleep, I saw you everywhere. Do you know how ridiculous it is to fall for someone that you don't even know their name? How hurtful it was just to think this person was at a bar to have fun of course she doesn't want anything to do with you? Probably already forgot about you? So I have tried to forget it." I sigh rubbing my face and turning around "By the way if you hadn't walked away you would have heard me saying no to Sabrina, so go ahead and ask her out... Now don't blame me for something I didn't do." I walked away before I could hear her whisper.

"I know that feeling?"

Once I arrive back outside I made my way to Leah.

"Leah I should go, I appreciate this evening thank you for having me." I say a bit sad it's heartbroken to see all you thought was truth, Leah was wrong about what Alessia felt about you.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah don't worry see you tomorrow?"

"Yeah, sure..." I hugged her and say goodbye to everyone.

Once I arrive home I just took a shower and break down, it hurts that she doesn't like you the way you do, it was so wrong to think that Leah was right. Clearly what happened in Spain just affects you. How could I be so naive the moment I saw she was an athletic professional I should have known she was out of my league. How can something like this hurt so much even though nothing ever happened?

1 Week later

I haven't slept much and Danielle and some of the team already noticed Leah was one of my close friends she already told me to talk to Alessia, but I honestly don't think that's a good idea, so it was just another day in the office I'm was thankful that today I just had to take care of the paperwork that way I don't have to face anyone.

I turned around in my chair facing the stadium running my hands over my face sight I was so tired with not even an hour of sleep these last few days that I didn't even hear someone walking into my office and walking towards me.

"Are we gonna talk or are you gonna keep ignoring me?" I jump in my seat "I'm sorry I didn't mean to scare you..."

"I'm not ignoring you, now isn't a good time." I say turning around to face Alessia once she sees my face she comes to my side leaning on the desk and grabbing my hands.

"How long haven't you slept?" She says rubbing my knuckles with her thumb.

"I look that bad!" I half joke forcing a smile.

"Y/N/N now isn't a time to joke..."

"Probably a week or so nothing unusual for me."

"Come here." She stands up and pulls me to the couch.

"Lessi I need to finish work..."

"No, you need to sleep." She lay down and pulled me on top of her my head laying in her chest making me stay between her legs I was too tired to even fight it "Are you comfortable?" I just nodded at her, her embrace was something so relaxing that I didn't even know I was missing it.

She started to run her nails on the back of my head making me close my eyes, I was drifting off to sleep.

"I'm sorry I acted like you should've guessed it." she says softly as you fall asleep.

After a while, I started to move a lot in my sleep so I snug on my pillow but then I felt a collarbone so I jumped up scared I did something I shouldn't besides I was at work.

"It's okay you didn't sleep that much." I look to my side seeing Alessia make me let out a sigh of relief.

"I'm sorry I fall asleep on you, I need to finish work..."

"Can I take you to dinner after work?"

"I don't know Lessi..."

"Look I know I mess up I just wanna talk besides if you don't wanna hear from me after that you don't have to see me again... Alright?"

"It's impossible to not see you again we work together, but okay meet me at 9 I still wanna go home to get ready." She smiles at me and kisses my cheek.

"See you in a few!" she says walking out leaving me blushing.

After work I went home to take a shower I dressed in a white crop top and black dress pants with my white sneakers, I just finished fixing my hair when the doorbell rang I grabbed my purse, phone, and keys I opened the door and was met with a bouquet of white roses.

"It's for you."

"Thank you, how did you know this was my favorite?"

"I have my ways" she smiled at me proud, I went to put the roses in a vase "Are you ready? Or am I too early?" she said nervously looking at her watch.

"No you are right on time, let's go?!" she said and once I close the door we walked to the car she opened the passenger door for me "Thank you."

The ride was peaceful the silence was comfortable even though you could feel some tension because we both didn't wanna say something wrong, once we arrived I look out the window, and saw my favorite restaurant.

"Your ways are someone call Leah." I smile at her.

"Well, you can't blame me for trying, wait a second." I look at her confused because she just closed the door right after, but once I saw her open my door it made sense.

"Thanks, pretty gentle of you aren't you trying to impress?"

"It depends? Is it working?" She smile at me I could help but smile at her.

"Depends are you always like this with all your dates?" I smile as I saw she was taken aback by my answer.

"Well...No just you...I didn't think you wanted to go on a date with me?" she say blushing and rubbing the back of her neck.

"Well if this isn't a date I think you set the bar too high for a date. Should we go in?"

"Damn it..." she whispers to herself "Yes of course!"

Once we got in the waitress took us to a table on the far end giving us some privacy, we ask for the drinks and Alessia was looking at her menu when she meet my eyes.

"Aren't you going to choose?" she ask a bit confused why haven't I grabbed my menu.

"I already know what I am gonna ask for." I smile at her.

"Any suggestions?"

"They have the best Shrimp Chao Min, every time I come here I have to ask for it!"

"Then I guess I will have to try it." she smile at me and grab my hand on top of the table running her thumb over my knuckles "Look I know I mess up the other day I shouldn't have assumed you knew what was going on with me besides... I didn't even know you feel the same when..." she was cut off by the waiter we ordered and thank him.

"I didn't know what happened you just walk away and ignore me, I just wanted to know why?"

"When you say if I knew how it felt to fall for someone you don't even know their name, I didn't answer but I know the feeling, when you say that you felt like that person forgotten you I know that feeling, and that fear I thought it was my reality when you are talking about having dinner with Danielle, or when Sabrina ask you out..."

"Where are going with this Lessi?" I wasn't sure if she mean it about us or not.

"I'm not the jealous type I was just scared you forgot about me... what I am trying to say is that it's you!" she say looking at her plate and trying to avoid me.

"Took you long enough!" I say smiling at her, she looks up at me confused "A few days ago Lotte showed up at my house to talk to me, I didn't believe her, I mean can you blame me you are famous for your kindness besides before I knew who you are I already thought you are out of my league and after our talk I thought it was platonic I didn't have a chance and that hurt me." she gave me a gentle smile.

"You're so wrong I didn't think you liked me that much besides everyone is hitting on you everywhere I went and you are there. So this means you give me a chance to fix this?" She says a little bit hopeful.

"Yeah I mean you are right we both didn't act on our feelings there was no way we would know if we didn't talk about it." I squeeze her hand.

"I'm glad we get to talk."

We start to eat and get to know each other with small talk here and there when we finish we went on a walk.

"I don't know if you wanna talk about this but how did you learn how to shoot like that? You are basically on the midfield and without looking you get the ball in the corner..." I sigh this was something that hurts to talk about it was my biggest dream "Sorry I shouldn't have asked you don't need to answer!" She says fast.

"It's okay Lessi..." We stop at a bench and sit down I keep looking at the stars "It was my dream to play football my dad didn't support the idea and my mom was scared but I convince her I could do it... It was all going well until my last game before I start to play professionally..." She grab my hand and squeezed gently "My dad didn't support me his vision about women's sports was and is that no way a woman can make it or earn the same as men, that day we argue about it and I was pissed off I was sure that day I was gonna change is perspective on women's sports but I had a pretty bad injury that game my leg was all broken in a lot of different places I also hit my head pretty bad, I was in a coma for a while... when I woke up the doctor told me I could never play again, he didn't even know if I would be able to use my leg again that was how bad it was..." I felt her hand on my cheeks with her thumbs she clean some tears that I didn't even know were there.

"I'm sorry I shouldn't have asked I mess up every time."

"Yay don't worry it's in the past besides I can walk but no club wants to risk having me back on the field since the doctor told me I probably could never play again... It was a hard and dark time of my life but I learn to live with it!" I smile at her.

"You can always try again."

"I can't Lessi no one wants a player with this many risks besides no one wanted to see my skill and I never touched a ball again until the other day."

"What if you can?"

"Lessi, I appreciated but I already made my peace about it."

"Teach me how to do it?"

"What?" I look at her confused.

"Teach me how to shoot like you did the other day!"

"I don't know..."

"Please I promise if you can teach me I will try to use it on the big games so you can feel like you are back on the pitch again!"

"Lessi that's very sweet but I don't know..."

"At less think about it?"

"I will." I smile at her gently "But enough about me!" I chuckle.

We talk about other things we had a great time the hours fly by so quickly with her she is really sweet and funny, and easy to talk to I honestly wasn't expecting to trust her this fast but we both knew the night was coming to an end, once we arrive at my door neither of us made a move we didn't want the night to end, she walks me to the door.

"Thank you for tonight Lessi!" I kiss her cheek but made no move inside.

"Thank you for the chance can I take you on a real date on the weekend?"

"Yeah, and I will teach you..." she looks at me smiling.

"Really?" She says so exactly that makes me giggle.

"Yes, I mean at least someone will be able to use it... Goodnight Lessi." I hug her she wraps her arms around me.

"Goodnight Y/N/N." When we pull away we are too close but I didn't wanna jinx myself since this was going so well, I kiss her on the cheek and walk inside once she kiss mine back, and went to her car waiting for me to get inside.

The next day

I was a bit more relaxed even though I hadn't slept much I had agreed today I would start to teach Alessia after her training and when I finish work I was nervous I mean she is a professional I am just me.

So after work I meet her at the field she was already there talking with Manu and training once I got to them they turn around and stop talking.

"Sorry did I interrupt?"

"Not at all..." Lessi says.

"You sure?"

"Yes this one was just rumbling about you, nothing unusual!" I chuckle and Alessia was blushing "I hope you don't mind but I tag along to try to get that shoot of yours."

"Yeah, no problem, but first Alessia will need to train shooting, strength, and effect you put on the ball while shooting!"

We start practice I show some of the ways she could achieve a more certain type of shoot after some practice I could see they are tired.

"I think we should stop for today in a few days you guys have a game, I don't wanna be responsible for not being on top of your game."

"Just shoot a few for me please I wanna know if I can catch it."

"Alright, but only five times I don't wanna get you tier."

"Alright let's go!"

Me and Alessia went to near the middle field Alessia pass me a ball but I saw her looking around like she was looking for something.

"Is everything okay?"

"Yeah don't worry." she gave me a gentle smile.

"If you say so..." I kiss her cheek and put the ball in place, I gave a few steps back and take a breath, I was feeling a bit nervous but also relax I shoot the ball with an effect I saw Manu going to on side ready to defend it but the effect on the ball made her end on the opposite corner of the net leaving no time for Manu to react.

"What how?" She half yells "Again!"

I look at Alessia waiting for another ball but she was distracted, I approach her.

"Lessi are you sure everything is okay?"

"Sorry, it's just impossible to believe I can do that." I chuckle.

"You can do it just need practice, alright?"

"Come on love birds!" We both blush and I shoot again this time the other way.

After the five shoots, Manu was ready to take the challenge she will be able to defend your shoot maybe not today or tomorrow but she will, she and Alessia told me they are going to shower and change I stay for a while on the field I look at the ball and start to do some tricks and playing around. I sit down and look up, I miss this feeling of peace every time I step on the pitch, I miss the feeling of having a ball in my feet, I miss the game the joy of it.

"Hi." she says softly making me look up and see Alessia.

"Hi." she sits beside me "Wheres Manu?"

"She went home"

"Oh okay..."

"What's on your mind?"

"I miss this..." she leans her head on my shoulder "I miss the peace and joy that football use to give me. You did great today." I smile at her she looks up from my shoulder.

"You think so?" Your faces are so close to each other that it took me a while to answer.

"Yeah giving the fact that you are probably already tired from training, your shoot strength is almost there."

"Thank you!" She looks me in the eyes and then looks at my lips once her eyes are back on mine she pulls away blushing "Im sorry."

"No need to be sorry, I understand we both say we want to take it slow to get to know each other, but we also know isn't that easy to resist me." I joke with her.

"Aren't you full of yourself?" She says lightly pushing me.

"Nah just stating the obvious!" I kiss her forehead.

"Oh shut up!" before she could push me down I pull her with me making her squeaky, I look into her eyes.

"Make me!" I smile at her watching her face change "I'm kidding!" I kiss her cheek and hold her close she lay her head on my chest as I play with her hair.

"Y/N/N..."

"Yea?"

"Thanks for this moment I really appreciate having you around."

"You don't have to thank me Lessi!"

"I do you gave me a chance and that's all I can think about." I kiss her head.

"It's okay do you want to grab dinner?"

"Yeah of course!"

1 week later

It's been a week since I'm teaching Alessia she has improved a lot on the last game her shoots are so accurate that she told me that Jonas ask her what she was doing we laugh about it we have also been on a few dates and been spending a lot of time together. Today after training we will start to shoot a few yards away from the goal practice was going well until Jonas got to us.

"Girls go home, Y/N we need to talk?" Alessia and Manu look at me worried I just reassure them to go, once they are far.

"Look Jonas I'm sorry I was just..."

"I want you to go home rest and tomorrow I want you at training to talk."

"What?"

"You hear me, go get some rest." he walks away I stay frozen in my spot, what this means am I in trouble? Why does he want me in training? Am I getting fired? No, this can't be happening this was the closer I have been to football in such a long time and now I just mess up if I lose them as a client my other boss will fire me. I rub my face pacing around until I feel a hand on my shoulder.

"What happened?" I just turn around and hug her hiding my face on her neck "What did Jonas say?"

"He wants me here tomorrow at training, what if I lose my job? Lessi I don't know what to do?"

"Yay look at me." I reluctantly look up at her "You need to rest tomorrow we will see what he wants and we will figure out what to do next?" She rests her hand on my cheek "It's probably nothing but I will be by your side." I close my eyes leaning in her touch.

"I hope your right, thank you..."

"No need to thank me I wanna be there for you." she kissed my forehead "Let's get you home alright I will make you dinner." I nod and we made our way to her car, she grabbed my hand after starting the car, and I was playing with her fingers, the ride to my house was silent but comfortable.

Once we got inside she told me to take a shower once I finish showering I went to grab some clothes but then I saw Alessia had arranged them, some shorts a T-shirt and a sweater that I knew wasn't mine so probably it was hers, after finishing getting dress I made my way to Alessia she was with her back to me wet hair still from the shower she took on training grounds, watching her made me want this companionship with her always. She is such an amazing person I mean she isn't my girlfriend but the way she is taking care of me made my heart melt.

I walk up to her and hug her from behind resting my head on her shoulder.

"Hi, how are you feeling?" She says turning around in my embrace holding me close kissing my forehead.

"A bit better thanks for taking care of me." she chuckle.

"Love, you don't need to thank me, you know I will always take care of you as long as you let me." the name love made my heart speak a bit, it's this how love is supposed to feel like even though we aren't together, I kiss her cheek and pull away.

"Do you need me to help you?"

"No just sit on the couch and choose something to watch, leave the rest to me." she kisses my forehead and pushes me out of the kitchen gently.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes don't worry I know my way around!"

Once I sit down I was looking for a game at less would take my mind off things there was a match playing when Alessia come back with our plates and then she went to grab the glasses we are eating in silence watching the game, I was getting a bit critical about the playing when I notice that Alessia wasn't answering me I look at her and she was already looking at me with a smile.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing I just found it amusing watching you get all worked up with football." I try to hide my blush "Don't get all shy now, it's cute!" she leans in to kiss my cheek.

"You know I have to say something since I don't have a chance of getting a foot on it."

"Maybe that will change?" She smiles at me and I put my plate on the table.

"I don't think so now was the closest I have ever been in two years and probably not for long."

"Yay don't say that. Honestly, I think it will work out for the best!" I chuckle.

"I appreciate your optimism but..."

"No, but what if he wants you as an assistant coach? Didn't you see the progress you made with me and even with Manu?"

"Maybe but I am not a professional."

She put her plate down and pull me close to her making me lay on top of her staying between her legs she play with my hair.

"We will figure out I promise."

She kiss my forehead I was playing with the end of her shirt as we keep watching the match in complete silence I was getting comfortable in her embrace and it was getting late.

"Lessi..." she hum for me to continue as she was paying me attention "Can you stay?" She didn't answer right away which made me panic "I'm sorry I shouldn't ask you don't need to stay? And it's getting late?"

"Do you want me to stay?" I look up at her confused did she not hear me asking.

"I just ask you that?"

"There is a difference it's because it's late or because you want me to stay?" Her eyebrows lift in pure amusement as she waits for an answer.

"I want you to stay."

"Wasn't so hard was it..." I push her arm playfully she hugs me closer "I will stay as long as you want me here."

We lay there together curled up with her under the warm blankets, feeling warm and safe. Her safe embrace and the absence of everything else irrelevant it was so nice. Just the TV noise as background noise was making me fall asleep on her as she play with my hair and I trace her arm with my fingertips, eventually, I fall asleep all my worries vanishing in her presence.

The next morning I woke up with the sun getting throw the window making snug in Alessia hiding my face in her neck.

"Good morning love!" her raspy morning voice sounded so beautiful I could wake up every day with it.

"Good morning gorgeous!" I kiss her shoulder before turning to straighten my body I look into her blue eyes "How did you sleep?"

"Great and you?" She kiss my cheek "Hopefully you didn't wake up when I bring you here but you pull me with you to lay here so I hope you don't mind." She says a bit worry

"I haven't slept this well in a while and of course, I don't mind did you think I was gonna make you sleep on the couch?" I trace her arm that was still under my head with my fingertips.

"Oh really?"

"Of course, Russo I am not that mean!"

"I didn't say you are mean it's just I don't wanna make you uncomfortable."

"Lessi if you made me uncomfortable I wouldn't have slept this well." I kiss her nose and got up going to the closet to grab some clothes.

"What you doing? Come here..." she whines making me smile at her cuteness.

"In case you don't remember we still got to shower before we go to training and find my fate..." I feel her arms around my waist pulling me against her front and resting her chin on my shoulder.

"We got to shower..." I could see from the corn of my eye her smirk growing.

"Not gonna happen, Russo, I am gonna take a shower and when I am finished you can go!" I kiss her cheek pull away from her and go to the bathroom.

"Can't blame a girl for trying!" She smiles as she watches me get in the bathroom "You are gonna be the dead of me." she whispers more to herself but I hear her.

Once I finish showering I put on a white blouse and a blank dress pants, once I walk out Alessia wasn't there I fix my hair and went to the kitchen as she was making breakfast.

"You are spoiling me too much." I smile watching her.

"Maybe that way you will keep around." she jokes.

"You don't need that for me to want you around..." I walk up to her "Now go take a shower I will end this so you have breakfast ready when you get out!"

"But I wanna..." Once she turns around her eyes look me up and down "What are you doing to me?"

"Nothing now go shower or you will be late for practice!" I hurry her up.

"Can a girl just get a moment to take this beauty all in!?" she says making me blush.

"Very smooth Russo now hurry up!" she kisses my cheek and runs to the bathroom.

I honestly was beginning to think I need to ask her to be my girlfriend, I mean yes we have been on a few dates and we are always around each other but nothing official, but she still didn't kiss me maybe she doesn't want this to be something more. But I honestly could get used to having her around the house and my life was a lot more lighter and brighter now when she is around.

I finish getting breakfast ready and set the plates sitting on the stool on the balcony pulling my phone to see if I have anything important to do while I was waiting for Alessia, beside the training today was a pretty calm day, with no meetings hopefully, I'm not getting fire.

"Oh, you waited for me!" I look up at Alessia.

"Yes now let's hurry we need to leave soon!" we start to eat until it hit me "How am I going to work I left my car there yesterday?"

"Hello I'm here!" she says joking.

"I know but you know that someone can see us and I don't want the press annoying you..."

"I am taking you to work what's the big deal we are friends!"

Friends? This word just felt like a dagger in my heart but I couldn't blame her I mean our situation right now is not like we are together but still didn't feel easy to hear.

"Yea right..." I finish eating once she finishes I grab the plates and wash them before going to grab my things as Alessia grabs her training bag I open the door once she walks out to the car to put her bag in the back I lock the door, as I walk to her car she opens the door for me "Thanks."

The ride was silent my mind was racing around what she said and I couldn't bring myself to stop this feeling of all the possibilities in my head that mixed with the anxiety of not knowing what Jonas wanted to just make it worse. Once we arrived at the camp we both went our separate ways, I went to my office to leave my things and then went to the training ground to meet Jonas, the girls who were getting on the pitch.

"Hi, Jonas what do you need me for?" Once he turns around.

"Why you are dressing like that, go change?"

"What?" He looks around and handles me a kit.

"Go get dressed."

"Can you explain what's going on?" I'm so confused about what's going on.

"I wanna see your skills besides that goal your teaching Alessia." I was taken back by his answer.

"I can't..."

"Why not?"

"I...I don't know if... It's been too long besides a long short story, but I was told I could never do this again."

"I'm not asking you to get on a real game I just wanna see something!"

"Alright, I can't promise you'll be impressed." I went to chance and all the memories are coming back could I do it? What does exactly he want to see? The only thing I'm sure of is that as long I let myself go in that field the better I will play.

Once I got back, Jonas told me to warm up some of the girls were getting curious about what was going on after I warmed up Jonas called everyone in.

"I want 5vs5 today Y/N I want you with Leah, Sabrina, Katie, and Lia, the rest join in groups of five we are gonna make a little tournament, it's the best of three goes to the next round."

We all got ready I tried to avoid Alessia after all this is her element and we are "friends" so it was my turn to play, once Leah pass me the ball I made a quick rotation leaving Laura behind I made a quick run and it was just me and the goalkeeper who run at me I chip the ball and end on the back of the net the girl watching is in aww I celebrate a bit with Leah.

"It's your turn get ready!" Leah smiled and nodded at me as we got in place.

I was able to still the ball from Caitlin I pass to Katie and ran down the pitch, and she pass me the ball again I passed through the defender once I saw Leah in the box I crossed the ball and she finished with a volley she runs to me jumping on my arms.

"You did it!" I say to her.

After a few games, the final was my team against Alessia, Lotte, Jen, Blackstenius, and Manu. I was talking with Leah since we had a break.

"So what's going on?"

"Besides being training with you guys nothing much, why?"

"Stop playing smart with me, I was talking about you and Russo?"

"Nothing..."

"Don't, I know something is bothering you haven't looked at her but she keeps trying to get your attention, so what happened?" I sigh I hate that I can't lie to Leah.

"Well this morning before she drove me over here, we were talking I was worried about the press because well that's my job, and she says "what's the big deal we are friends"..."

"And?"

"And nothing Leah that's it." I sigh rubbing my neck.

"You know before anything you guys are friends right? What do you expect her to call you, don't do this to yourself you both like each other, you just need to make it official."

"I guess..."

"Girls let's go!"

We are getting ready to start once Jonas whistles, we are getting a few tackles here and there once I got the ball I didn't waste time shooting before Alessia take it off me, ending at the back of the net I fall on top of Alessia she groans.

"I'm sorry Lessi, I didn't mean to!" I got up and help her get up.

"Don't worry my bambina!" I blush.

"What..." Before I could ask she was already getting back to her position.

The game was 2-2, Alessia and Lotte were passing between them looking for an opening, so if we gave them one we could get the ball so I looked at Leah she nood at me I pressed Lessi so she had to pass to Lotte, Alessia run pass me looking confused why I didn't follow her, the moment Leah pressed Lotte she passes back to Alessia, so Lia cut the pass making the ball end at my feet I run to the goal passing throw Jen, I knew I had to try something new but I also knew I didn't try this in a long time and most of the times didn't even work, but if I do what we have been training it would be too easy for her so I shoot the ball aiming for the bar and pray it comes my way, Zinsberger jumps but ends up falling after the ball hits the bar once the ball bounces back down I shoot the ball in the back of the net I was shocked it works Leah jump on my back and I hear Alessia cherrying.

"That's my bambina!"

"You're cherrying for the enemie!"

After some congratulations here and there the girls are a bit taken aback by how I managed to do it. Honestly, I only did that once I didn't even know if I could recreate it.

"Y/N!" I turn around to see Jonas and all the players making their way to the locker room "I wanna give you a chance to come back!"

"What?"

"You played college football right?"

"Yes but..."

"I knew I had heard about you, I had seen you before I just never heard about you after that accident."

"Well no club wants a player with risks and neither do you?"

"What risk? You played just like I remember you did on that last game I was just disappointed to know you had already a club them I came to Manchester so I never knew what really happened after!"

"Jonas the doctor told me I could never use my leg again or play..."

"I don't see that as a risk look your walking, your playing like you did back them so think about it, I don't need an answer right away!"

"Alright, thanks!"

I sit on the field after he walks out, I lay back and cover my eyes with my arm. Is this really happening? Or am I just dreaming? If this is a dream I don't wanna wake up. I have been trying to forget about it but was all coming back, I knew I had proven doctors wrong the day I started to walk again, was the doctor wrong about this too? I never got the chance to know since no one wanted to see me play, but now that I have the chance I don't know what to think?

"How it went? Are you alright?" I jumped a bit, I was so in my head that I didn't hear her getting here "Sorry..."

"Good, but I don't know if I am good!" I didn't make a move until I felt her grab my arm to lay beside me with her chin on my shoulder looking at me.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" Once I look at her I was met with her blue eyes focused on me like they were reading me, and then I noticed how close we were.

"No..." she looked at me confused, I look at her lips.

"Why n..." I couldn't take it anymore so I cut her off by kissing her, she was I bit taken back but she kissed me right away, lips moving in perfect synchrony, her lips tasted like strawberry, so soft and gentle. I pull away and rest my forehead against hers.

"Wow you don't know how long I was waiting for this to happen!" she says picking my lips, we pull away

"Then why didn't you do anything? For a moment today, I thought you just wanted me as your friend."

"And I do I wanna be your best friend but I also want you to be mine!" she caressed my cheek gently making me lean on her touch "Also I didn't want to kiss you and mess up everything if you still didn't want to..."

"You're too good to be true!" I look in her eyes and roll us over making me lay on top of her "How would you feel if we could play together?"

"What? Are you serious? That would be amazing." She smiled at me excitedly.

"Well, I still think this is your family..."

"They are also your family!" she hugs me close "So this means Jonas wants you on the team?"

"Yeah we talk about what happened and the risks, he told me I wasn't a risk and I already proved the doctor once wrong... He gave me time to think."

"What's on your mind?"

"Well, I'm thinking about the risks? What if I mess up? I don't know there is so much on my mind."

"I get the risks will always be on your mind, but what does your heart tell you?"

"To go for it, it's worth it, it's a dream I thought I had to give up on it!"

"I think it's time you stop thinking and go with your heart..."

"I guess your right, but there is just something missing..." I sit up ready to get up but Alessia sits up and grabs my waist pulling me in her embrace.

"What?" she looks at me confused but also with so much adoration.

"I know this isn't like we probably want this to happen but will you be my girlfriend?" I play with the end of her shirt getting a bit shy, she pulls me in a gentle kiss with so much passion that I melt once we pull away I just whisper "Is that a yes?"

"Yess my bambina!" She picks my lips with every word.

"Alright, what does that mean bambina?" I try to say "You better not be bad-mouthing me, Russo!"

"My girl..." she smirks at me.

"Yes I'm your girl, now tell me what does it mean?" I smile at her.

"My girl!" she says chuckling a bit.

"You have been calling me that all day couldn't have said it?" I push her shoulder gently but she lays down playfully.

"You never ask? Besides you look cute when you are confused!" She smiled and kissed my nose, making me blush and hide my face in her neck.

I was the happiest I could ever be in a long time after all I didn't have to give up on my dream, but I also knew if I hadn't found her I would still be lost on that day when I first saw her.

bambina - girl

[multifariousqueer]

All that remains

Summary: You notice Shuri's attention has been elsewhere and in an attempt to get it back, your plan backfires

Wc: 1468

Warnings: SMUT SMUT SMUT, edging, Dirty talk, nicknames???, ,manipulation, jealousy, overstim, face riding, language(although if you're reading smut with the intention of it being clean, you've come to the wrong place),

Song: Escape From LA- The Weeknd(specifically the beginning)

"sthandwa you're so fucking wet for me. You gonna be a good girl and cum for me yeah?" Shuri moaned in your pussy.

"mmmmm yes my queen" you breathed out.

The pleasure mixed with the brain fog caused by how amazing Shuri was enough to almost push you over the edge. Just as you were about to reach your high, you heard Griot's voice alerting your girlfriend of someone entering her lab. You instantly panicked thinking it was Okoye or the Queen but it was someone else:

"Princess? RiRi Williams is here to finish working on the herb and the Ironheart suit."

"Tell her to wait one minute."

"Yes Princess."

Shuri pulled her fingers out of you and gave you a quick peck on the lips:

"Get dressed, my love. We'll pick this up later." Shuri said with a smirk as she licked her fingers clean of you.

You groaned at the feeling of emptiness and a missed orgasm. All you could think about was that she stopped fucking you mid-orgasm. Sure, Shuri may have edged you on multiple occasions but she never and I do mean NEVER denied you an orgasm when you were that close. It felt like a slap in the face but you knew you couldn't dwell on it for too long, RiRi would be down any minute and you had better things to do. You put on some sweats and went upstairs to shower and go out when you heard Shuri and RiRi laughing and talking. It hurt your feelings a bit to know that Shuri was giving her attention to someone else but you knew it wasn't personal, it was business and RiRi was one of the only people who could help her recreate the herb and suit.

You layed out some lingerie that Shuri bought you with a t-shirt and jeans. When you got out of the shower and put the lingerie on, you made sure to take some pictures to send to Shuri later.

Wakanda was truly the most beautiful place you had ever seen and the scenery and botanical elements were truly one of a kind. Even after Namor's attacks, the place was still thriving and the people were still friendly. You bought some herbs and spices, as well as talked to some of the merchants and a couple even gave you a discount. You decided to walk by the water and send the picture of your lingerie to Shuri; normally when you did this, you would get a reply almost instantly and it was always something along the lines of "come home now." or "I can't wait to eat your pretty pussy 😍" but you didn't get that today; All you got was left on seen. You felt your chest ache so you left and went back to the palace. When you got there you dropped your stuff off and went on your phone for a while when an idea crossed your mind.

You shouldn't. Shuri's gonna destroy you. Buutt, Shuri's not giving you the attention you need rn but you know who will? People on Instagram. So with that, you found the photo least likely to get taken down and posted that with the caption: 4 Your Eyes Only.

You reposted it to your story and pretty soon, it racked up a lot of likes and reposts. Most from your friends, a few from random people; you got a lot of DM's from friends telling you how hot you looked and from random people telling you how hot you looked. You checked your story views and saw a random finsta and instantly knew.

Back in Shuri's lab:

Shuri was working with RiRi when they took a short break to just check social media and vibe. Shuri and RiRi talked about everything, from quantum mechanics to the Chicago bulls to even you at one point:

"So how long have ya'll been together?" RiRi asked.

"3 years-ish. We've been through just about everything together." Shuri replied.

"So did your brother meet her?" RiRi asked

"Yes. He loved her just as much as he loved me. He said that we balance each other out; that I need someone who will get me out of the lab every once an awhile when he couldn't." Shuri answered earnestly

"So do you love her?" RiRi asked.

"You ask a lot of questions." Shuri chuckled.

"Sorry it's just that, ya'll seem so happy." RiRi answered half-apologetically.

"We are. And to answer your previous question, yes, I do love her." Shuri replied with a half smile.

RiRi was about to say something when Okoye called:

"Shuri, you need to see this." Okoye said.

Shuri clicked on the link to see the post of you in the outfit(or lack thereof). Shuri froze and said:

"She's gonna get it."

You left your room and tried to come up with something to say when you suddenly felt Okoye's hands on your arm:

"Where do you think you're going?" She asked

"I don't know." You said shaking

"Well I'll tell you where you're going, your girlfriend wants to speak to you about that post." Okoye replied

"What if I don't want to speak to her?" You asked

"Than you should't have made that blasphemous post." Okoye replied sternly.

You felt your heart sink when you saw her sitting at the table with a picture of the post.

"Why did you post this? And better yet why did you use that caption?" Shuri asked tersely. It honestly made you feel better that even mad, Shuri still knew that you hated beating around the bush.

"You weren't giving me attention so I found people that would." You replied plainly.

"Y/n you know how important this is for me and RiRi. Have I ever done anything to make you question my loyalty before?" Shuri asked

"No but-" You were cut off by Shuri

"So why are you questioning it now?" Shuri asked

"Because RiRi is smart and pretty and she knows how to do the things you do and you guys have the same interests and stuff" You said, with tears in your eyes.

"Oh Y/n. I hope you know that I'd never be with anyone that wasn't you and that includes RiRi. I love you and I always will. Sure we have some stuff in common but we don't have what you and I have. Everything between us is strictly business and I know that you need constant love and attention and it's my fault for not giving you that. I won't make that mistake again. I love you and only you Y/n." Shuri said getting a bit teary eyed.

"I love you too. So much and I'm sorry for letting my insecurities get to me." You said.

"It's okay." Shuri said, embracing you and resting her chin on your head.

Y'all stayed like that for a while before Shuri pulled away and said,

"You know... we never finished our little escapade."

"Well why don't we?" You said with a smirk.

"Mmmmm that's my girl." Shuri said, rubbing your body down.

That was all Shuri needed to start kissing your neck and pull down your jeans. She rubbed circles around your clit through your panties and teased your dripping wet hole.

"Mmmmm this pretty creamy pussy. All mine." Shuri said in between breaths.

"all yours" You breathed out

"Shit you're so wet, I feel you through your panties." Shuri said, grabbing you and putting you on the table.

"Let me eat this pussy like I should've done this morning." Shuri said in your panties.

"Do whatever you want, your highness." You said with a smirk

Shuri took down your panties and stuffed them in her pocket before getting back in between your legs. She lapped up all of your juices in one lick. You moaned as she licked your folds and kissed your clit. She stuck her tongue inside of you and you felt your walls clench.

"Mmmmm fuckk feels so good baby" You said

"Such a perfect pussy. Who's pussy is this again?" Shuri feigned

"I- ahh- yours-mmm" You moaned

Shuri got up from in between your legs inserted three fingers.

"open your mouth" She said.

You did exactly that and she spit your juices and her saliva in your mouth.

"And don't ever forget." She smiled.

You felt yourself nearing your high and before you knew it you were on the edge. Shuri was sucking on your clit while finger fucking you when you felt your high approach:

"Cum for me, princess. Or I'll have to puni-" Shuri mumbled.

Before she could finish her sentence you had finished all over her fingers. Your juices coated her fingers and your moans were all that remained.

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Between the Lines 1

Warnings: non/dubcon, Lee is rude, customer service triggers. and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

Characters: Lee Bodecker

Part of the Bookstore AU

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging.

‘So no one told you life was gonna be this way…’

You nearly clap to the theme song stuck in your head. You resist and continue your patrol of the aisle. The lyrics are oddly poignant as you traverse the bookstore. Two degrees and this is what you’re left with. This is far from what you expected.

You don’t hate the job, only the customers. Sometimes. You love books and when you got the call, you were all too happy to trade in your Starbucks apron for collared shirts and dark slacks. As much as you miss the free drinks, you’re more confident around literature.

You come down the main aisle of the store, around the tables in the middle with stacks of best-sellers and promotions, as a woman enters. She’s striking in her pencil skirt and sleek cinched trench coat. Her hair is immaculately highlighted blonde and gold and highlights her beauty. She doesn’t see you in her hurry, surpassing you for the Biography section.

Another customer follows her in the door. He looks after her as he stops just inside. Your curiosity stitches in your forehead. He’s rather intent on trailing her. His jacket has a star pinned on its chest; a cop.

Oh, shoot. Not another thief. You go to greet the officer, “hello, sir, can I help you?”

“Nah, thanks,” he waves you off, his knuckles nearly hit you in the cheek.

You back up and let him pass. You could be wrong but you can’t risk shrink on your shift. Not again. You casually head in the same direction, pretending to fix some book spines as you peer down the aisle where the woman looks back and forth elusively. Hmmm.

You stride towards her and put on your best smile, “hello, miss, is there something I can help you with?”

She looks at you, almost breathless, “um, do you have a bathroom?”

She cranes to peek over her shoulder again. She shudders as if disgusted. You hear the cop down the next row, slowly pacing. You point her towards the back. You don’t see how she could be hiding anything, her jacket is open and her purse isn’t that big.

She hurries off, heels tapping, as she escapes towards the bathrooms. You shrug and continue on, rounding the end and continuing towards the officer. He sees you and frowns, turning his interest to the graphic novels. Your favourite.

“Anything I can help you find?” You ask in your most chipper tone.

“No,” he grumbles, glancing over the shelves towards the fading click of the woman’s heels.

“Um, is something wrong?” You wonder.

“Can you mind your business?” He asks as he turns on you, “I’m a man of the law, I don’t needa explain myself to you.”

“Of course, sir,” you swallow, taken aback by his tone, “I didn’t mean too. I just thought… if you need help. I’m sorry. I’ll be around if you change your mind.”

You show your palms, meekly excusing yourself as you back away. You turn and take a step, skin blazing in embarrassment. You feel as if you’ve been slapped across the face.

“Now, wait a minute, sweetheart,” the officer calls after you, “I should be sayin’ sorry. I wasn’t meanin’ to be so rude. I’m just… long day, ya know?”

You stop and slowly face him. You do your best to shake away the tension. It’s work and it’s not often you get an apology from a customer.

“Yeah, I know,” you give a rocky half-chuckle, “um, so… what did you come in for?”

“Ah, you know, lookin’ around, uh, these comic books,” he points beside him, “they got lots of pictures?”

“Uh, yeah,” you answer as you face the shelf, “do you have a specific genre in mind? Superheroes? Apocalyptic? Mystery? Anime?”

“Well, I got this nephew, he’s real into this stuff. Nerd type things,” he scoffs, “that Batman guy and his car.”

“Oh, looking for a gift? Birthday?” You prompt.

“I ain’t seen my sister in some years and she asked me over. Long story, don’t matter, but I don’t wanna show up empty handed.”

“That’s sweet. A family reunion,” you turn and peruse the shelf, “well, you could get a couple of issues, we’re having buy two get the third free, but an anthology would go a lot further. A bit pricier though.”

“Hmm,” he peruses thoughtfully as he leans in, “you probably don’t know too much either, being a lady and all. But you could help me with my sister. I heard about some writer, Hooter or something?”

“Colleen Hoover? Uh, sure, most people like those and they’re an easy read,” you explain, “but if you’re looking for comics about Batman, I have many suggestions. The Dark Knight is a good read, way better than the movie–”

“I got it figured,” he reaches to slide out Batman: Year One. Not a bad choice, actually. “Now you show me this Hoover whatever. Sounds like a dang vacuum.”

He’s demanding but you’ve dealt with worse. Besides, it’s easier at least when they know what they want. You take him around to the table of popular authors.

“A lot of people like It Ends With Us,” you point to the pink cover, “Maybe Someday also tends to be a hit.”

“You talk a lot, don’t ya?” He grumbles as he puts his hand on his hip, his stomach straining inside his jacket.

“Oh, I’m s-sorry, sir,” you take a breath, neck prickling as you feel your nerves spike, “I’m only doing my job. If you don’t need my help–”

“Did I say that? You ever let a man sit in silence?”

You blink at him and your smile evaporates. What a jackass. You could blame it on the badge but you suspect he’s just a completely intolerable person. No wonder his sister didn’t talk to him for so long.

“Sir, you can pay at the front counter. You can also ask any questions you have up there.” You lean back on your heel, “I have stocking to do.”

“Now, don’t you give me that look. Customer’s always right, ain’t they?” You press your lips in a firm line. You glare at him as he snickers, “you got no respect. Ladies these days seem to forget what that means.” He grabs a book from the table without checking the cover, “I’ll be certain to tell the manager how helpful you were, sweetheart.”

He nears and you stand your ground, taking measured breaths as your wits threaten to crack. He looks you up and down and snorts. He winks as he cradles the books in one arm, reaching to boop your nose with his index. You pull away as your chagrin ripples across your face.

“Some ladies just needa learn their place,” he drops his hand and continues on, swaggering in his victory. Pathetic, it’s not that hard to demean someone who can’t talk back.

[clouisluvr]

part two to dating sean diaz headcannons maybe??

hi beautiful people❤️ i hope you’re all doing well, im sorry about how long this has taken it’s definitely overdue🫠 im gonna try and keep slowly making my way through requests so bare with me! hope you guys enjoy this <3 also please cutely pretend to not see any potential typos LMAOO

incoming summoning of all sean diaz lovers …

- sean is the type of boyfriend to buy you so many squishmallows but be pretend jealous at how many hugs you give them😭 jokingly says you probably love the squishmallows more than you love him but will still always buy you more when you see them together at costco trips

- a slow kiss enthusiast! sean prefers a more sensual and intimate make out sesh rather than a fast and rushed one, definitely has his hand cupped on your cheek, with the other resting on your thigh as his thumb gently rubs the skin there. will stop for a second to make deep eye contact with you and tell him he loves you before leaning back in😵‍💫 (i Fear i need him expeditiously..)

- if u have/want piercings he’d totally get them with you! cute matching septum/nose piercings methinks

- one of yalls fave things to do would be chatting shit ab bad tv LMAOO. like yall are always tuned into love island, too hot to handle etc. you both pretend it’s Insufferable but really you love hatewatching it (unfortunately daniel cannot watch with yall, esteban tells him its too inappropriate😭)

- MARIO KART MATCHES ALWAAYSS!!! after friday sleepovers yall will spend saturday mornings after breakfast playing! sean gives meeee… luigi or link main vibes? i think hes pretty good at it tbh, lowkey competitive but will happily throw the match the second you pout ab losing (unless ur an s tier mario kart player in which case yall will race against each other all day LMAO) oh and Ofc daniel plays with you guys but i think daniel would be absolutely HORRIBLEE at mario kart, everyone just lets him think hes good LMAOO

- in my last sean post i said that he prefers small displays of affection in public but in private he’s a lot more comfortable with touching you. nonstop cuddles, kisses every part of you he can see. loves for you to straddle or lay on top of him, will rest his hands on your hips or small of your back. likes for you to be kinda laid on top of him as yall laze around for a while, he basically uses you as a weighted blanket. sean loves doing nothing with you - sometimes just being quiet in your presence is perfect for him. unfortunately for sean its rare that he gets to be as affectionate as he wants with you because daniels alwaayss hovering around yall, and if not daniel, its esteban making sure his bedroom doors not closed😭

- esteban definitely works extremely hard and slightly struggles to make ends meet but would still wanna spoil sean and daniel -so any family trip he manages to save up for you are absolutely invited! sean would happily be a slightly cringe couple at disneyland with matching mickey ears, (not the kind of couples that cling to each other in the line for rides though LMAO). and every time daniels too short for a ride, sean will always always tease him and you have to give him a lil whack on the shoulder and then comfort daniel. when esteban (eventually) takes sean and daniel to see puerto lobos, he invites you along. you’re considered a part of the diaz family so esteban wants to share where he comes from with you and his sons :’) lots of long beach days with sean and daniel there!!! sean probably gets a lot of art inspiration from seeing you by the beach, probably having a playful water fight with daniel. he thinks you’re in your element when you’re being totally carefree. your joy is radiant for sean and inspires some of his greatest artworks :’)

- i think sean would need some reassurance from his partner. karen being an absentee mother has most likely given sean some abandonment issues so he’ll tend to feel anxious and insecure from time to time. genuine love and patience from his partner will help sean continue to open up and feel more secure in his relationship with you

- arguments with sean would be … a bit terrifying ill be real! the man is scary when he’s mad, i think he’d try his best to keep his emotions under control but frustrations get the better of us sometimes and he may end up saying something hurtful💔 he instantly feels guilty and apologises profusely but also understands saying ‘im sorry’ isnt always enough to take away the hurt caused. if you give him the silent treatment for a bit, i imagine he’d actually turn to daniel for advice! i think daniel would actually give weirdly helpful advice LMAO. he’d probably tell sean to start the conversation off by giving you something you like, like a choc-o-crisp. it sounds stupid at first but sean would probably attempt to bake you something (and fail horrendously) but seeing the effort he puts in to try and make things right is the perfect first step to resolving the argument :’) sean would definitely value communication in a relationship and wouldn’t want you to hold back about any potential problems!!

- you’d become a bit of a motif in seans artwork! he’d unintentionally draw some of your features or favourite interests in the background of his art, it becomes a sort of signature. you’re his muse!

- couples costumes for halloween are a must. for oct 2022 yall would show up to parties (and trick or treating with daniel) as miles morales and spider gwen!!

- i think the diaz family have a family game night every now and then that you obviously attend! they don’t hold back with you though, they will stack uno cards against you like crazy if you’re about to win😭 and daniel most definitely cheats at monopoly and takes extra money from the bank, to which sean always complains🤭

- during yours and seans early days of dating, he’d probably go out of his way to keep you from meeting his dad and daniel. not because hes ashamed of them.. more so he knows how embarrassing they can get and he doesn’t want you to think he’s weird. he’ll explain this to esteban after inevitably being badgered to bring you over for dinner one night, to which his dad will tell him that if you’re really right for sean and genuinely like him, you’ll accept his family too. besiiidees how ‘embarrassing’ can they really get? well .. i think your first time meeting seans family would be a bit disastrous. sean would insist on cooking dinner, i think he’d attempt lasagna but would leave it in the oven too long. as you arrive, daniel is probably in the midst of attempting another zombie costume project whilst sean and esteban freak out over the burnt lasagna now setting the smoke alarm off. once you arrive and knock on the door the muffled chaos from inside goes SILENT followed by the sound of some rushed movements and whispers. sean lets you in with a slightly panicked smile and despite the smell of smoke wafting into your nose, the ear piercing ringing of the smoke alarm harshly hitting your ears and the sight of his little brother drenched in what you hope is fake blood, you smile back at him and lean in to give him a sweet kiss on the cheek and all of seans worries about you coming over are instantly soothed.

- seans the type of boyfriend to be totally down with a pamper session. he’ll happily let you play aesthetician with him, applying multiple face masks, plucking his brows, waxing his legs, shaving his face, doing his makeup etc. sean seems like the type to have relatively clear and healthy skin but he’s left glowing after yalls little spa sessions!

- lyla ADORES you. you guys are probably incredibly close friends (actually i think lyla most likely introduced you and sean) you and sean are aware of lyla’s fear of her and sean not being friends one day, so you both make an effort to not leave her out of things. you guys definitely go to concerts and new movies together and make a bunch of amazing memories.

- sean has a polaroid of you in the back of his phone case❤️ his lockscreens reserved for his dad and daniel!

- absolutely adores you borrowing his tshirts or hoodies… he loves seeing you in his clothes but more so loves how they always smell like you after you wear them. if you’re bigger than sean he’d love borrowing any cute graphic tees or hoodies you had too.

- i think sean would spend christmas eve with your family and you’d spend christmas day with his! sean would paint you the most beautiful portrait of a candid photo of you, alongside a personalised photo necklace (these are so so cool - you can place a customised photo inside of the necklace, and you see it once you look inside the heart pendant!!) it’s probably of a picture that esteban took of the two of you during your holiday in puerto lobos. its one of the most beautiful meaningful gifts he could have gotten you, and you wear the necklace every day.

- i think when sean falls for someone he doesnt fall fast but once he does fall, he falls VERYY deeply in love. you bring him so much happiness and he loves expressing that through big and small gestures. randomly surprising you with flowers during the week, suddenly being overwhelmed with a wave of songs that remind him of you prompting him to make you a mixtape, writing you love letters, absentmindedly finding himself doodling you on a post it note mid class and handing it to you. sean loves you with all his being and shows it to you every day.

[sunburnacoustic]

@origin-of-symmetryy's poll about the Muse album closers got me thinking (and frankly, the addition under their poll was getting ridiculously long, and so I've decided to make a new post), Muse are really good at album closers. Really good. Of course, the order of songs on an album is something most musicians will spend some time thinking about, but usually outside of concept albums, what songs close the albums don’t really matter as much. Sometimes they’re coincidentally great; the best of the album closers are ones that will leave you sitting in silence for a minute just thinking about what you’ve just heard. (There’s an English band called Yard Act who closed their debut album The Overload with, “It’s not like there’s gonna be nothing, is there?” And then there's silence; the album's over. And the whole song itself was in short, about humanity and people being people, and so I did sit and think about the album for a minute, it was great.)

Muse are like that. Their album closers are really meant to be closers. It's almost like their shows: the albums are paced out in such a way that you're being taken on a journey listening to them, and you're not just going to have all the energetic stuff at once, and you won't just have the chilled out, relaxed or downtempo songs in one lump. We've all definitely marveled right here on Museblr about the transition on Absolution from Hysteria -> Blackout -> Butterflies & Hurricanes. Those are not exactly similar songs, but Muse know how to make it work.

All this is to say, Muse certainly know how to bring the rollercoaster down to a stop at the end of an album, both musically and emotionally/thematically. Think of Megalomania, Ruled by Secrecy, Exogenesis Symphony, Isolated System, Drones, The Void, even Glorious if you're willing to consider the extended version of BHAR. Musically, they're a bit more chilling, emotionally usually less settled, kinda despondent, they seem to almost close with a message of 'it's all kind of messed up. It doesn't matter, you see? They're fucked up. We all are.' Or 'See? That's how everything goes wrong' (depending on which album you're listening to).

The only album I would say does not seem to have a thematic intention behind it is Showbiz, but Hate This And I'll Love You does have a certain grandiose element to its outro that makes it a perfect show closer; the brash little bow taken at the end of what they know is an album well done. Thematically I can only surmise: 'try hating this. We dare you to. You see the current musical landscape? What do you think of it? We are Muse. We are about to change everything; destroy the status quo. Stay tuned.'

To my mind at least, here's how the other album closers relate to the themes of the records: Origin of Symmetry is partly about human connection, observed through its relationship to technology (New Born, Screenager, Plug In Baby), occasionally religion (Hyper Music, Megalomania, or sometimes mysticism.

Throughout the album, Matt has explored themes of becoming distant from other people, loneliness, reliance on technology (and erm, sex robots I guess), paranoia, love, hope, the feeling of being perceived. Megalomania seems to come down from the heightened emotions, whether negative or positive, turns despondent and challenges a God about why people should even bother going through it all: why love? Why trust? Why procreate and restart the whole cycle again? It's bringing it all back down to earth to close out the album. And of course, musically too, that song sounds pessimistic. Come on.

Absolution: Matt and Dom have talked about how this album was less about actual religion, but more about their own personal absolutions: freeing themselves through music. The religious themes are allegorical, the album's motivations are more existential, personal and heightened emotionally: we're dealing with themes of self-worth, paranoia, relationships, and more of that search for meaning that we saw glimpses of in Origin Of Symmetry.

At the end of it all comes Ruled By Secrecy, with the protagonist realising that no matter how hard they try, a lot of their own life is beyond their control. Despite all the hopes, fears, anxieties about who you are, your future and your own death; no matter how hard you try to fight it, it is out of your power, and no one knows who's in control. A final fight-or-flight at the end of the album that concludes, it doesn't matter. There's nothing you can do. Can't fight it. And of course, that dark, echoing, reverb-drenched piano arpeggio is haunting and will linger in your mind well after Dom's last cymbal crash.

Black Holes and Revelations: Look, I think the human spirit and connection is such a central theme to Matt Bellamy's writing that I ought to stop mentioning it because here too I will go 'ditto'. It's the human emotional spectrum: love, loss, anxiety, needing control of your life, loneliness; but this time explored through the lens of politics, of conspiracy and paranoia, extraterrestrialism, but drawing those connections back to feeling alienated rather than literal alien stuff (save that for the interviews ;) )

I think Knights is definitely a change in direction from Muse's previous few closers in that there's no way you could call it downtempo, but it works for the same reasons that it is Muse's staple set closer: it goes out on a high. It acknowledges how real our fears are, but also how silly they can seem spoken out loud (or, say, sung out loud on a record or in concert with 90,000 people), and says, you know what. We can still wear silly hats and boots, play space cowboy riffs and sing anthems about it. (I know this is not the exact meaning of the song, but that's the meaning I get from it being placed at the end of the album, if you see my distinction). Glorious, on the other hand, is a more classic mellow Muse album closer (and would've definitely worked too), but more optimistic and taking comfort in love. Still as much of a full-stop as any previous closers. See when I say this is a band that knows what an album closer is!

The Resistance: Muse's dystopian thriller, 54 minutes of exploring the personal in the context of the global, set against a backdrop of strife, tensions, big ideas about the geopolitics of the world, and of course, a reflection on the books and media Matt had consumed around the time of this album. Against this backdrop, Exogenesis Symphony seems to run parallel to the album itself, a 3-part story exploring the hubris of thinking that the only way of saving humanity from all its problems was the nuclear option (figuratively): to begin life on a new planet, only to conclude that we're doomed to repeat our old habits and fail, hinting that our only real chance is to band together to save ourselves and what we have right now. Muse would go on to employ a similar 'parallel what-if' storyline later too on The Globalist. Anyway, for ending with a message insinuating peace as the only option to avoid destruction, that's a classic Muse album closer.

The 2nd Law: Matt turns his eyes to environmental and existential anxieties, while placing the blame squarely at the feet of greed and capitalism, presented through a physics metaphor for an economic situation: just as the 2nd law of thermodynamics states that entropy (or general instability) of an isolated system is always increasing, an economic system building itself on endless growth becomes more unstable. (And as the first law states, perpetual motion, or growth, is impossible, and hence unsustainable in the long run). How anyone was surprised that this exactly was Muse's first album in the aftermath of the global financial crisis is beyond me.

An interesting mix of the electronic and 'real' elements on this album at a time when the debate about rock and guitar bands using electronic instruments was rife, it's interesting to me how some of the most overtly electronic songs on this album (Madness, Follow Me) also happen to be the most personal ones Matt wrote, while his rawness is reserved for his environmental angst: Animals, Explorers, to an extent Survival, when seen outside the Olympic light.

The two 2nd Law tracks flip that script of course, and the contrast between them (one heavier, the other much more understated) does kind of reflect what they're about, but the cold, chilling nature of Isolated System? Easy to see why they picked it as a soundtrack to play repeatedly under an apocalyptic film (which is still extremely diluted from the book, which does encompass more themes of a bio-ecological disaster than the film). It does return to Muse's tried and tested album closer formula of finishing the album with a haunting piece of music that will leave you thinking about the album you've just listened to, slightly unsettled.

Now, Drones! An album exploring the pitfalls of artificial intelligence in the military sphere, on the surface about warfare, but underneath, a much more human and emotional journey undertaken by a protagonist not to lose their human spirit, their sense of what is right and will to stand up for their rights. A mix of the personal and political. Muse's first explicit concept album.

The song Drones delves into the dystopia, separate from the timeline of the album where the protagonist (Mary) freed themself, returned home to their loved ones, stopped being an emotionless drone and discovered love again, only to retire away from all the pain in order to heal. It's a proper summariser of a track, and so a fitting album closer: you don't need to look your victims in the eyes anymore, you don't have to fight your own sense of decency and humanity: 'now you can kill from the comfort of your home with drones'. I also think having many Matt voices with none of them ever taking the role of lead singer is a sly little summary of the album too: you're all just voices in the choir, you can't tell any of them apart. You're faceless. But I suppose, also the fact that you're able to discern meaning from this chorus of voices that is not always singing in unison, that conveys the strength of working together to overcome adversity? All album themes. Anyway, any song that closes the album with 'Aaaa-men.' is a proper album closer, cheers Matt!

Simulation Theory (standard version, because the deluxe doesn't have new songs, just other versions of the existing ones): the darkness has finally lifted from Matt's life. Bouncing back from the album meant to convey emotional deadness (and Matt's breakup album), Matt's found love, robots and nostalgia, and by god he was going to make it known! Even through the sci-fi, this album is still exploring the ramifications of the AI powering decisions that impact all our lives: this album explores the consequences of algorithms, social media and peer pressure, spreading misinformation and chaos, but also the humanity that connects us all that the computers can never really nail down. That's where the album closer The Void comes in: statistical modelling may have you believing that everyone is just a number to fit along a neat mathematical line, that anyone outside the norm is unaccounted for, erased, alone, estranged; that individual people cannot have an impact: they're wrong. Just for that line, this is a cracker of a closing song. Ending with Matt's now-trademark hope, belief in humanity and optimism. And yes, yet another emotional, downtempo Muse album closer that'll leave you thinking and feeling things for a while.

Will Of The People: Now this one is so interesting to me. On an album exploring the current landscape: near-apocalyptic scenes in terms of the environment, global public health, economy, civil unrest and failures of public leadership, only a Muse album could really do the scene justice. So where does We Are Fucking Fucked fit in? It's so different from traditional Muse album closers. Where's that optimism and fighting spirit Matt says he simply cannot write without? I don't think I can say it better than Matt's said it himself:

[W]henever someone creates a film or a book that ends on a sort of tragedy of some kind, or ends on something bad, what happens is, it leaves the viewer or the listener in a state where they can’t help but feel compelled to do something about creating an equilibrium that isn’t there. When I was studying films briefly, that’s what someone told me: If you wanna do something where you leave it to the actual person who’s watching or reading or consuming the art… if you leave them in a state with an unhappy ending … they can walk away from it and go, “Maybe I need to do something about this.” So that was one of the reasons why I put “We Are Fucking Fucked” at the very end. Hopefully people come away from it and go like, “Well, are we? I don’t know about that. Maybe I’ll do this…”

And what did lie at the end of the album? A Muse concert? Perhaps something bigger: a real-life push for justice and peace? I love the concept of WAFF as an album closer, that's a brilliant concept.

What do you guys think?

[eccentric-nucleus]

actually if i'm gonna make a games rec post.

here are some games i have enjoyed recent-ish.

kenshi. an open-world squad-based rpg with base-building elements. get stronger by getting beaten up. lose a fight and get knocked out, have your weapons and food taken by the bandits that mugged you and left you bleeding to death. get rescued by some slavers that capture you and sell you into slavery. free yourself from slavery and limp away until you roll in hours later with a whole squad of overpowered fighters. then head a little bit too far south and get murdered by skin bandits. they take your skin. this is a completely self-directed game; there's no "main plot", although arguably "figure out the history of the world" is kind of the main 'story' mystery. there's also a bunch of unique recruitable characters with custom-written interactions. i usually recruit exclusively from freeing slaves but you can do w/e.

wildmender. a survival gardening game. this one came out recently and the devs are still releasing bugfixes; it's unclear if they'll make large content patches in the future. apparently multiplayer can still be pretty glitchy, and there's a water flow bug that i've been finding very frustrating. the way biomes work is kind of unsatisfying. kind of slim content-wise, but still, i really enjoyed what's there. out of all of the climate change terraforming anxiety games i've seen, this has been the one i've most enjoyed.

hellpoint. a scifi soulslike made by a team of like 12 people. previously i had thought things like "it would be neat if dark souls was less linear". hellpoint is a great example of why that might be a nightmare. the areas are connected in such a complex way, with one-way routes and branching unlock keys and secret paths and hidden doors behind hidden doors that it gets profoundly disorienting. a hint: almost every single hidden door in the game (there are a lot) is the middle panel of the same exact three-paneled-wall geometry. once you notice what it is you will see it everywhere. also, the enemy designs are hot.

crystal project. remember playing fan translations of final fantasy v? remember wandering around in old mmos? crystal project is kind of a... turn-based rpg mmo-influenced platformer. with a job system. you can sequence break the game from the tutorial level and also at basically every other point in the game too, although until you know what to look for it might seem like there's a linear critical path. but there's a lot out there. hint: play on easy mode. the combat gets tough later on and the game absolutely expects you to be finding and exploiting some class combinations.

astlibra: revision. a sidescrolling rpg. it must have been released episodically originally or some of the chapter pacing makes no sense. also it was originally released with a mess of art sourced from all sorts of places; 'revision' is a re-release with a more unified art style. it gets extremely anime all the time. there's a whole obligatory section where you have to ask all the women in a town about what kind of panties they're wearing. it's rough. i enjoyed how chaotic the systems are and how much Stuff there is to pick up and upgrade and unlock. the plot goes some unexpected places though it doesn't quite stick the landing, i still enjoyed what it did. also karon should be the love interest instead.

silicon zeroes. a cpu-building puzzle game. this straddles the line between the tech/code games that are literally just "learn a new language and code in it" and ones that are more structure-themed like, idk, spacechem. connect modules to assemble solutions to problems. it takes too long to get to chapter 3, which is where they start asking you to make entire cpus.

ashen. another souls-like. i just really like the environments in this one. the initial area looks gorgeous and the way it changes through the game is really neat to see happen. the seat of the matriarch is wonderfully awful to traverse and i wish there had been two or three more dungeons like it in the game. you can't level up; you gain stats mostly by progressing sidequests and the name quest. i eventually ran out of things to spend money on AND inventory space to store items. the late-game tuning is a little rough but until then it's great. a hint: there are three weapon types and within that type nearly all the weapons are identical. you get thrown so many weapons that don't matter; don't worry about collecting all of them. see above re: running out of space and things to use money for.

i guess it would be cheating to recommend minecraft regrowth or morrowind but i have also been playing those.

[lavendernlilac]

So do we... do we ever get to know what other Big Event caused more Big Trauma for Grian a d Pearl in the Strawberry Lemonade AU? Or do you have plans to unravel that thread in fic form?

it’s something I’d like to unravel in fic but I have no idea how I want to do it yet ;-; I can talk about it here though !!! anyone who follows this blog will have super secret insider knowledge <3 I’m gonna put it under a read more because it is a bit dark and leans kinda heavy in some light horror vibes???

so uh. content warning for religious trauma (the vibes of it are there), horror elements, and child endangerment. whoopsies

mkay so! big traumatic event. one that really threw grian’s life off course….

so it’s no secret that grian, pearl, and jim grew up in a very religious household. their father was a pastor and a follower of the watcher religion. pearl is the oldest of the three, and as a child she was probably the one that took to following the watchers faith the most?? they all went to events and what not and were involved thanks to their father, but pearl was involved with it the most

grian didn’t really care? I think he did what a lot of young, curious kid do and he asked questions. and he asked too many questions. he def got in trouble with his father a lot. add in the piece of him seeing the dead and… hoo boy

he had very weak abilities when he was young. most of the time he’d see a shadow of movement, and it was extremely rare. and then his mother passed and he could see her. she tucked him into bed. and grian did what many eight years old do, and he talked about it. he told his father and siblings that he saw mom, that she tucked him in and kissed his forehead, he asked where she was. it wasn’t the first time that he had said something like that, having mentioned a strange shadow or humanoid figure before. it was all brushed off at first

but then it just kept happening. grian would constantly tell pearl that he saw their mother, or that she did something. pearl pretended to play along, as if she truly believed him. privately, she turned to her father and other members of the church and expressed concerns and well. it wasn’t taken well

I think in watcher belief, ghosts and the like are viewed as generally something not good?? bad omens, harbingers of death and negativity, that sort of thing. so hearing that grian was saying all this stuff was extremely concerning to them. they thought that maybe grian had an attachment, or worse

at ten years old, grian’s father and a few other church heads try an exorcism on him in the study and it goes So well (it goes horribly, horribly wrong). the only thing they manage to accomplish is getting grian stuck with an attachment, and ripping the lid off of his abilities. his abilities would’ve remained weak and non-obtrusive had they been left alone. however… that did not remain the case

pearl (12) and jimmy (8) were instructed to stay in their father’s room while this was happening, but pearl was very concerned about her brother. she told jimmy to stay put, and she snuck off to check in on grian. she saw nearly everything through a crack in the door, and it was horrible. grian looked like he was in so much pain and he was scared. it was enough to shake pearl’s belief in everything of the watchers and things going forward were very bad

grian was stuck with an attachment for a short amount of time, only being saved because his mother used her own self to get rid of it. in doing so, her soul fizzled out, leaving grian truly alone with nothing but his fear of the things he constantly saw. there was no off switch

it put a very large strain on his and pearl’s relationship for long time. he stopped trusting her with his secrets, and stopped talking to anyone about what he could see. all of this is the reason he studies the paranormal now, as a researcher. because he wants to understand that world and everything about it

and well… it’s partly why scar was so scared to tell grian the truth. I don’t think grian has told scar about the attempted exorcism, but he has mentioned the attachment and different paranormal interactions he’s had that have haunted him

so yeah. big trauma for grian and pearl :’)

[atopvisenyashill]

general thoughts

calling this episode baelor is kinda inspired actually.

SEAN BEAN EMMY CAMPAIGN WHEN???

if looks could kill, walder frey would have died when he threatened to turn them over to the lannisters omg there is pure hate in her eyes

the actor for aemon does a good job wjth this scene. the “even the little children” and the way his face shakes when he says “you will live with it the rest of your days…as i have” devastating thanks

sansa looks so relieved when ned starts to confess because she thinks this means he’ll be spared and sent to the wall and live. she has no idea what’s coming. then, arya looking around in horror that the entire crowd is yelling for her father's death, because she has no idea how little the common people care about this sort of shit. they want a show, that's all. what is that man's death to them. nothing.

the scenes with osha and bran are always so good. they have such a great dynamic, every word she speaks to him is so soft, almost reverent. not a kneeler but she adores this little boy and she’ll play along with his silly little ways and lug him around and calm his nightmares, and pray to the gods that he doesn't have the gifts she suspects he does because she knows better than anyone else at Winterfell that his gifts are a burden.

it's a shame that isaac got so big so fast because i deserved more scenes of osha just carrying bran around on her hip omg.

i love that this bard can’t help but put his whole heart into those high notes even knowing that joffrey is insane and unstable. i also love that joffrey makes a crack about ilyn payne’s tongue when ordering the bard's tongue taken out. demented little shithead.

and he IS just a little shithead at the end of the day because his face falls when sansa refuses to react, and he’s so mad when she's able to bite back at him. he doesn't get the reaction he wants, and he throws a tantrum at her as a result.

anyways I'M FINISHED WITH SEASON 1 BABEEEEE. took me long enough lol. i think it's a solid season of tv but it has the exact same faults as hotd frequently has which is making the "narrators" men, and especially kings way too goddamn often. renly's story arc should have been from loras' pov. the argument with robert about aerys should have been barristan's pov. they do a great job showing us sansa and arya's povs regularly, but you can see the cracks starting to show already because catelyn, tyrion, and dany are vastly different from the jump and they cut out all the prophecy/fever dream stuff except when they have to include it like bran's dreams or the dragons. it SUCKS. it's a FANTASY SHOW WHY WOULD YOU CUT ALL THE FANTASY ELEMENTS. STOP GIVING FANTASY SHOWS TO PEOPLE WHO DON'T LIKE FANTASY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

changes i noticed

okay now we are getting into what i feel is the first purposeful change - shae. well i suppose renly counts here too? whatever. anyways. she’s clearly older, closer to peter’s age, she doesn’t play act at being a sweet naive girl in love; she’s unimpressed, snarky, sultry, clearly hiding something. she unsettles tyrion right away because she’s so hard for him to pin down but that’s why he’s interested in her, because he finds her fascinating, challenging. of course in the end, the parts of her that he finds most interesting are why this would never work - shae is not a woman who can hold her tongue when she doesn’t approve of something and that’s a deadly trait for a lowborn mistress to have, so they were always going to have to leave KL if they wanted to be together BUT tyrion can never leave these people, not really, and as it goes on, he just gets more and more dug in - he’s gonna die here on this continent involved in these people’s lives and there is nothing she can offer him to sway him from this path.

i think i understand wanting to have more uncomplicated romances in the series to appeal to a general audience, but i do think you have to come around to saying something similar with that romance. i think the problem here is that by itself, tyrion being unable to listen to the woman he loves pleading with him to just Leave before it’s too late, and then it’s too fucking late, it maybe gets tyrion to roughly the same point as him being purposefully obtuse to how unhappy and unsafe shae feels with him in the books, but the thing is. that’s not how it goes lmao so we have this great set up where tyrion and shae are more equal in their relationship but their relationship ending is ultimately completely tyrion's fault and shae is simply trying to exist in the world after the man she loves abandons her, except they put that stupid little knife in her hand and had her testify against sansa. i am already mad. alsjdfk.

WHATEVER, i think the actress who plays shae is really good. kind of similar to jacob anderson in that she's putting this whole story together out of nothing and doing a great job, and doesn't always get the recognition she deserves.

i think emilia and iain have unfortunatley great chemistry. when she cups his cheek and goes "is that what you think will happen" before she walks into the fire. it's really good and clearly romantic and i hate that they made this change to jorah. i can't even think of him as jorah most of the time.

[janeway-lover]

So, y'all remember like earlier this week when I said I was gonna write a blurb about Eric and Muriel and the bookshop burning?

Yeah, I finished that. Here ya go.

The thick black smoke rising into the air could be seen a mile away. A demon, when he forgets that he can teleport, can run a mile in about six minutes. And the combined stress of three demons can keep even the most dedicated humans away from an area.

Let’s connect these facts, shall we?

Eric saw the column of smoke rise into the air and froze. It was coming from the heart of Soho, from the bookshop. If being able to breathe had been important, he might’ve been in trouble, but thankfully, it wasn’t, and the fact that he hadn’t taken a single breath since he first saw the smoke was not a problem.

The soft *crack* of demons appearing beside him snaps Eric out of his trance. The two Erics who have appeared next to him are wearing matching looks of concern.

“What’s going on? What’s wrong?” The first Eric just points wordlessly to the smoke growing in the distance. All three of them swear in unison, in an ancient language long lost to human tongues. Then all three break into a run.

Six minutes later, they arrive at the flaming bookshop, which is already being swarmed by firemen and lookers-on. If all demons had a shared memory, they’d have been reminded of this exact thing happening merely a few years ago. But demons do not have such a thing, leaving Eric feeling rather out of his element. At least none of the firemen have approached them.

“Muriel! Muriel!” The three scream as they storm into the burning shop. There is the heavy scent of sulfur in the smoky air.

Hellfire. This was no accident; it was an attack. 

They split up, hoping to cover more ground. But the bookshop is not nearly so large as to require that, and several areas have become inaccessible due to the flames. All that happens is an echoing effect that sends chills down all three spines despite the heat.

“Muriel!”

“It’s no use! We can’t sense them!”

“They can’t - they can’t be dead! We have to find them!” 

The first sobs to be heard in the universe came from the demons as they Fell from Heaven. It is said that the cries shook the very foundations of the universe as their Mother’s love was torn from them.

Those same sobs rang out from the shop, and echoes of the cries rang through Hell as every Eric stopped what they were doing and tears streaked their faces.

“They’re not here! We have to get out!”

“Why! What’s the point?”

“Do you want to tell Dagon why we got discorporated in an angel’s burning bookshop?”

“What would she do, the hypocrite?” The archangel Micheal’s visits were a closely guarded secret, but no secret was safe when you had eyes everywhere.

“Muriel wouldn’t want us to burn too.” 

That worked, and the three of them got up from where they’d fallen to the floor in despair. As they exited the shop, a familiar presence appeared in the air. Eric looked up in unison and made eye contact with the angel he had been certain they had just lost.

“Muriel!”

“Eric! What’s going on? Why is the bookshop on fire?” They may have had more questions, but anything else they could’ve said was lost beneath the force of the hug that they were wrapped up in. 

“I thought you were dead,” one of the Erics volunteers as the three of them embrace Muriel. The other two are crying too hard to talk.

“I was in Heaven, I had to drop something off for the Supreme Archangel. What happened?” they asked again. 

“Someone attacked the bookshop, we saw it from a ways off and ran to get here. When I couldn’t sense you, I kinda assumed the worst.” 

“Hey, I’m alright,” they said, cupping his face with one hand while keeping the other arm wrapped around the Erics who were still crying. “I’m okay. You’re okay. Just breathe.” He nods and takes large breaths in an effort to quell his own tears. “What do you mean that someone attacked the shop? The fire could’ve been an accident.”

“It’s Hellfire.” Muriel stilled for a moment, but took a deep breath and went back to comforting Eric.

“I’m right here. They didn’t get me.”

“But they tried to! A demon tried to kill you!” 

“But they didn’t. Eric, look at me.” He wipes his eyes and looks into their eyes. “I am okay.”

“I know, it’s just…” he trails off, not willing to give voice to his fears. “I don’t want to lose you.” Muriel wraps the three demons in front of them in an even tighter hug.

“You won’t. I promise.”

-------

“Hastur!”

“What?”

“Step into my office.” Dagon’s voice is low and dangerous. Hastur steps into her office with a gulp.

“What’s going on?” He says with a snarl, but it comes out as more of a stutter.

“You want to explain to me why all of the Erics are sobbing?” 

At the sound of his name, Eric peeks around the corner. As the door to her office closes, he can see a pure white folder on Dagon’s desk.

[theimperiumchronicles]

Happy WBW! In honor of the pain bestowed upon me by the Blood Goddess 🙃, what is your world like in relation to sicknesses, injuries, and other afflictions? Feel free to discuss the medical system or how jobs/institutions respond, or even how individual characters feel!

Hello, my lovely Tori!

I am going to hit on a few of my world in today's answer, so I hope you have some potions, a snack, even a nice warm blanket to cuddle up in if you're in the Northern Hemisphere...or are basking in the warmth if you're in the Southern. This is gonna be long, babes!

@theimperiumchronicles

On Earth, well...it's Earth, so look around...it fucking SUCKS ASS!! Nowhere is perfect and there is suffering everywhere. Some of the supernatural creatures try to help, but much like Star Trek has the Prime Directive, they try not to get too involved and fuck things up for them all. The more they meddle, the more chance that humans will figure out that the paranormal and supernatural are real...and well...you remember the witch trials right?!

In most other realms, injuries naturally heal on their own. The speed depends on the type of being that is injured, how bad the injury is, and how they were injured. There are some beings who are gifted with healing abilities that can help speed up this process. For instance Abriella is a skilled healer, as is Cruz, and Adriel. When there are battle injuries, they help those affected. Arch can concoct healing potions and poultices as well.

Regarding sickness, there is none like a virus. Bacteria is little. This is because of the self healing nature of the beings. If they were to get something like a cold, their self healing would defeat it before they were to feel it. Through evolution in the realms, what humans view ad disease has been defeated.

Now poisoning, that is another matter. There are many plants that are poisonous, as well as venomous animals. How those are treated depends on what plant/animal poisoned the being, the type of being, and the reaction of the being. Sometimes healers are able to counteract the poison/venom, sometimes a mage will have to step in with a concoction.

Most realms have some form of hospital, but they aren't like those on Earth. They are smaller because most beings can heal themselves, so only those in dire need of healing would go to one. If you think back to the Victorian times when they had the respite spas that were more like vacations, that is what they are like. They are plush, comfortable, and the patient is taken care of very well. The healers pay good attention to them, they are fed well, and they get lots of fresh air and sunshine because for most beings, that DOES help. Most of the healing centers have a ward that is always sunny and warm, cast by an elemental, so that the patients can get that even when winter outside.

Now, for the touchy subject - disabilities. It is up to the being. Some beings go to healers and deities to have them resolved. Some get prosthetics/aids/helpers to assist them. Others find ways to cope/deal/work with their disabilities so that they do not hinder their life. There are those in most realms that have some kind of disability. For instance there are those in the Imperium army who have lost eyes, ears, limbs, and fingers in battle. Some have had them regrown, others have prosthetics, others have learned to live with the missing body part and still are able to serve ins some capacity.

@devil-in-the-details-ay

Like in Imperium, the non human beings self heal. Because we are dealing with different belief pantheons of human religions, there really isn't an organized healthcare system as such. If there are confrontations or battles, they can heal each other if they are gravely wounded. There aren't diseases, but they can appear "sick" if they are badly wounded and are taking some time to heal. Most of the characters are gods (both greater and lesser), demi-gods, and beings that serve the gods. There will be some preternatural, supernatural, and paranormal beings thrown in for some spice, but again there isn't really an organized medical system for them. There are healers they go to if needed. Astaroth IS DEATH. He can kill (including totally obliterating the essence of the spirit so there is no afterlife at all), he can resurrect, he can heal anything. Yara is going to have some pretty nifty powers as well, and killing is one of them.

@battlegroundofdreams

Here things work a little differently. Most of what I'm going to be covering is in the legion of dream warriors and assassins. They do have a sick bay/hospital ward. They can sustain injuries in and out of the dreams. What they experience in the dream does affect them outside the dream, but not as extreme. The only exception is death, you die in the dream world, you are dead. There are pathogens similar to human diseases, and those are handled by the sick bay/hospital ward in the legion. There are vaccines for things. They do have healers as well who are more like our "doc in a box" type of urgent care centers who come to the warriors after they come out of the dreams to see if there are minor injuries that they haven't been able to mend on one another. The warriors are taught basic medic training, similar to EMT.

@bendingthelaws @behindthesemasks @the-andromeda-effect @magical-mistakes-vm Bayou Witches (which will have a page soon) - these are all based in our reality-ish in our world, so they are all what is in reality

@tapperhet-em and @princess-of-thieves-id are set in worlds not to unlike ours. While they are fantasy kingdoms, there are not the supernatural overtones of Imperium or the other WIPs where the main characters are not human. All the characters here are human. They are injured like humans, get sick like humans, etc. The medical realm is kind of like rural healthcare. There are private doctors for the wealthy, which they all are, so they wouldn't have much exposure to public health care. That will change a bit since they are on the run. However, with how the story is looking to go they are going to stick with private as much as possible to keep Meeri hidden. There is some magic, mages, and alchemy. However, medicine isn't much different than what we are used to, it's just supplemented with the mystical as well.

@whileyouwait-dm

Since this all takes place in Hell, you're pretty much SOL if you need help....UNLESS you're special to Djall. And, lucky for Miriana, she will be. Djall has the ONLY healer in the entirity of Hell. So, that is the healthcare. Of course beings there can get injured, but they better hope that they heal before something else decides to snack on them or abuse them more, because unless they have Djall's favor, they aren't getting any help. There is no real illness, but like Imperium, there are poisons and venomous creatures that reside there. Djall's healer is adept at taking care of that. Djall might have a few tricks up his sleeve as well. He is the Lord Of Hell after all.

@sehnsuchtrising

I'm still working on this one, I'll be honest. I've gotten one chapter written and the damn blorbos have made me rewrite it four times and none of them are remotely the same. Katerina is a Sorceress, so she can heal the members of the party...that's all I got right now. *holds up hands and shrugs*

Sooooooo.....there you go...I think...until someone decides to change it. LOL

@saltysupercomputer @blind-the-winds @aziz-reads @pheita @writingmaidenwarrior @thebejeweledwatercat @dreaminggoblin @korblez @toribookworm22 @spookyceph

[dorothygale123]

Today we're gonna be doing some creative interpretation of the myth of the 10 suns (like we did with Sun Wukong becoming the Monkey King a while ago), start to finish, and I'm gonna try to include as many elements from different sources as I can.

So to begin with, the 10 suns are just sick and tired of their mother, Xihe, smothering them. She's too overprotective and refuses to let more than one of them outside at a time, and even then only with her direct supervision on a very set course. So they decide to indulge in a little teen rebellion and all go up into the sky before their mother comes to collect them one morning and immediately decide that teen rebellion is the best and they're never coming down.

Their parents, Xihe and the current ruler of the cosmos Di Jun, try everything in their power to convince them to come down because they're causing the mortals on Earth to suffer, but they don't care and keep partying up in the sky. Eventually, Di Jun thinks that if an authority figure can't convince his sons to come down, maybe a friend will, so he calls up Hou Yi. Hou Yi, being the caretaker of the suns and the god of Riyue Mountain, is the obvious choice. He knows the 10 suns very well and is a good friend to all of them. Surely nothing could go wrong if he was in charge!

Except....

When Hou Yi goes down to the mortal realm to scope out the situation it's bad. Like, really bad. He meets up with a mortal man, Shen I, who had been tasked by the human emperor to deal with the suns with his bow and arrow (somehow), and the ypung demigod Erlang Shen who is pissed beyond reason that his mother died in the heat of the extra suns. The three of them go along to try and talk the suns down, with Hou Yi giving Shen I some very helpful archery tips and becoming good friends with both younger men. He convinces them to let him try to talk it out first, which they reluctantly agree to.

They eventually reach the suns and Hou Yi tells them about all the horrible things happening down on earth because of their behavior, but they refuse to listen. Enraged at his mother's killers being apathetic to the situation they created, Erlang starts throwing mountains at them. He manages to hit a few, but most fly up too high out of his reach and refuse to come back down. This leaves Hou Yi and Shen I no choice but to take their bows and shoot down suns until only one remained in the sky.

With the crisis solved, Hou Yi leaves his mortal friends and goes back to the Heavenly Court, where Di Jun and Xihe are furious. Hou Yi tries to explain the situation, but they're too beside themselves in grief and rage to listen. So, instead of sharing the blame with his two friends, Hou Yi takes all the blame for the incident himself and is punished alone. They strip him of his immortality and banish him to the mortal world. His wife, Chang'e, tries to intercede and have them reconsider but is only sentenced to join her husband in his punishment for her troubles.

Down on earth, Hou Yi is horrified and wracked with guilt that his beloved Chang'e has been reduced to a mortal doing menial tasks and condemned to an eventual death, so he decides to do something about it. He travels all the way to Kunlun and the court of Xiwangmu and explains his situation. She feels really bad for him and wants to help how she can, but she only has one pill of immortality left. The other one had been scooped up by this mortal kid named Shen I, and he was long gone by now. By the time Hou Yi found him, he would have already taken the pill. Disappointed but not hopeless, Hou Yi takes the remaining pill and returns home.

Back at the house, he tells Chang'e the situation and insists she take the pill but she refuses. She's his wife and any life she lives, mortal or otherwise, will be at his side and nowhere else. Hou Yi does his best to try and convince her, but she's stubborn and eventually they decide to put the matter to rest until a later date.

They end up making a life in the mortal realm, with Hou Yi becoming a well respected figure in their community for his archery skills. He takes on several apprentices, including a young man named Feng Meng. He accidently lets it slip to his disciple that there's a pill of immortality in his house, and Feng Meng gets a very dastardly idea. Waiting until Hou Yi was gone, Feng Meng attacked Chang'e when she was alone and demanded the pill. Struck with the choice of regaining her divinity and being separated from her beloved husband for eternity or allowing her killer to become a god, Chang'e takes the pill herself and smites Feng Meng in all her divine glory.

However, she is now unable to stay in the mortal world. Going to find her husband, she explains what happens and they have a tearful goodbye before she ascends into the heavens once more. However, she was unwilling to rejoin the divine court that had banished her husband in the first place, even if Di Jun had stepped down in shame for his sons' actions. So she goes to the moon instead, wanting to be just that little bit closer to her beloved.

This isn't quite the end, though. You see, Erlang and Shen I had been having their own adventures in the intervening years and had become gods themselves. Finding out what had happened to their friend and his wife, they were horrified, especially Shen I who had walked off with the pill of immortality that would have allowed Hou Yi and Chang'e to stay together. He feels even worse because his wife had ended up stealing the pill anyway! (Then she turned into a toad) Both of them end up swearing to assist Chang'e in any way they can in honor of their friend who protected them from Heavenly punishment and was doomed to a mortal life in their stead.

SUCH DRAMA! I love it! What about you guys?

Sh*tpost Masterlist

[dulceteris]

So I had a thought.

Specifically involving Tank and Quinn.

CW/TW: Ab*se of power, human trafficking

Anyway, little PSA before I start (which likely won’t apply to most of you since I’ve seen how you all approach tough topics <3):

please please please please please don’t romanticize ab*se. Do your research if you’re gonna write about subjects you’re unfamiliar with. It’s okay to add some darker elements to stories as long as you do so in a respectful way, and the first way to start is by doing more than a surface level dive into themes you’re unfamiliar with :)

Okay, so while I was drawing Sam singing Claire a lullaby I finally listened to Olivia Rodrigo’s “Vampire” and I noticed that it gives Tank and Quinn vibes, especially seeing the power dynamics between them.

Let me preface this by stating that I’ll be using she/her pronouns for Tank in this, since my version of Tank is biologically female and identifies as such. However, everything said can apply to anyone, and any pronouns used can be swapped to whatever your Tank uses <3

I personally imagine that Quinn is at the very least a couple of years older than my ver. of Tank (and at the very most, 10yrs, but I’m not too fond of the idea of that much of an age gap when Tank’s still in HS) which gives for an interesting dynamic for Tank seeing as I’ve imagined him meeting Tank when she’s in HS (granted, I’ve seen a lot of people say that so it may be canon idk. I’m just following some of the “general lore” I’ve seen). But there’s an imbalance of power there, being age and experience in life, which brings me to a specific line that stood out to me and sent me down this rabbit hole.

> “The way you sold me for parts as you sunk your teeth into me”

What if

And hear me out, what if Quinn trafficked Tank?

I wrote an entire paper on human trafficking a while back, where I spent months researching and conducting interviews, and given their relationship, it… unfortunately fits.

But let’s begin with some common misconceptions about human trafficking:

1) We don’t actually know the sheer number of people being trafficked, be it for labor, s*x, etc., so all statistics have to be taken with a grain of salt.

2) There doesn’t have to be movement. People tend to think of a Point A and Point B, but often times, the perpetrators and “Johns” (a person who pays/trades for s*xual acts) come to the victim. Victims can even be recruited and trafficked in their own towns- or even their own homes.

3) While high schoolers can be considered to be the general demographic, everyone is vulnerable to being trafficked. It’s more about vulnerabilities to victimization as opposed to a set demographic (ex: being a runaway/homeless youth, having an unstable living situation, history of domestic abuse, being impoverished/in economic need, substance use, etc.). Guys and girls can both get trafficked.

4) It’s not always a violent crime that leads to a person getting trafficked. In fact, most of the time traffickers use psychological means (such as manipulating, defrauding, and threatening victims) to get what they want.

5) It doesn’t have to be something physical that’s keeping a victim with their trafficker. Often times it’s far more complicated than that. According to the National Human Trafficking Hotline, “Some (victims) lack the basic necessities to physically get out - such as transportation or a safe place to live. Some are afraid for their safety. Some have been so effectively manipulated that they do not identify at that point as being under the control of another person” (Myths & Facts).

6) Victims are not only targeted by strangers. It’s often a person they know.

Human trafficking can essentially boil down to two things: vulnerability and control. Quinn’s power over Tank as an older, more powerful and experienced vampire who used Tank’s vulnerabilities would be an example of an imbalance of power within their relationship.

Let’s get into some of Tank’s vulnerabilities.

Tank, at this point in time, isn’t tied down to any place. With the Shaw Pack, they were estranged, and their parents eventually move back to Washington, leaving them with relationships and connections that are strained or long-distance as is. That’s red flag number one, since people who are going through a difficult time or who lack strong support systems are often targeted and are more likely to get trafficked. Tank can also be seen as desperate, as seen by her vigor to track down Quinn. People who are more impressionable and desperate are also easier to traffic.

Number two is her age, since teenagers and young adults are at a higher risk- and especially those without a high school education. A lot of trafficking happens to minors who get groomed, which could unfortunately apply to Tank depending on how old Quinn is thought to be.

Also, as I mentioned, Tank likely would have met Quinn in HS at her lowest point. It’s more common for victims to be trafficked by people they know- be it bosses, coworkers, partners, family members, or friends. Quinn could have used this to his advantage, and through coercion (and maybe even force), profited from s*lling Tank out to others. Specifically, I’d imagine people using Tank as a “blood bag.”

One possible scenario would be that Quinn could have utilized all of Tank’s vulnerabilities, her insecurities, and how she was relying on him to manipulate and coerce her to stay with him. Under the guise of financial support (so Tank could “pay back” and support Quinn for everything he’s done for her), he could have sold her “services” (blood) to other vamps who prefer to drink from living beings as opposed to draining actual bags of blood.

To keep her with him, he could have further exploited her weaknesses and manipulated her- using the fact that she’s become a “blood bag” to keep her close to him, using the whole “sloppy seconds” line and asking her what the Shaw Pack and her parents would think of what she’s become, thus having her further depend on him.

And if the one person she didn’t push away got word of this.. well- you know what happens next in Tank’s canonical story.

All in all, it’s not an unfounded thought that Quinn *could* have trafficked Tank. I’m not saying that he canonically did, since I don’t think Erik would have written something that dark into Tank’s story- however, I do think it is within the realms of possibility of something that could happen, perhaps in a fanfic or something.

Everything which I stated above are factors that can unfortunately help lead to a person being trafficked, but it doesn’t necessarily mean someone will be. The #1 way you can prevent you or someone you love from being trafficked is to keep yourself informed and do your research on it!! Everything I stated is roughly on a surface level, and there’s so much more to learn (ex: Truckers Against Trafficking, how interstates, truck-stops, hotels, restaurants, sports games, etc. play into trafficking, the effects on victims following being separated from their ab*ser(s), victims’ legal standings, etc.). I implore you to do research on HT.

Keep your loved ones close, learn the indicators of human trafficking, and learn to recognize the tactics recruiters use.

Stay safe, y’all <3

[mintmoth]

Hi! I'm a super big fan of your art, everything is so pretty and amazing and I just wanna consume it every time I see one of your comics or illustrations. I just wanted to ask (cause I looked around a lil but didn't see anything covering this, if I missed it so sorry haha) what art program/tablet do you use to draw? Also, do you have any tips for beginning artists? I'm trying to get into drawing but I'm not too sure where to start TwT

AAAAA 😭😭 you're too sweet!! Thank you so much!

Also omg personally I use an iPad with the program/app procreate on it to draw!

I'm gonna put everything else under a read more since I got a little wordy oops

Honestly if I were to offer any beginning artist tips I think the biggest one is to just have fun. I know it sounds silly but really like just have fun and don't worry about what you're drawing being perfect or exactly what you had in mind or anything like that. As long as you're having fun and doing your best and not stressing about what you're creating you'll find yourself wanting to draw and create more- and it's within time and persistence that your skills develop

Also while it's good to draw every day since you do need to actively draw more to improve, don't stress about making sure you do! Just go at your own pace and draw when you feel like it!

I think I stress both of these points since they're things I've been working on and struggling with off and on too, realizing I don't have to be constantly drawing and that what I do draw doesn't have to be perfect, and honestly my comics have been a great exercise in letting myself make things "imperfect"

Relating to actual drawing skill sets, I do think that doing figure drawing is incredibly important since learning anatomy is crucial to drawing, even if it's not the most fun thing. Really if you see someone in a cool pose- typically real life photos- if you just try to see the shapes the human body makes and just loosely sketch a messy version of where their body shapes are can help. You don't have to break them down super basically like some tutorials do, unless that helps you! Everyone draws differently so there's no Right Way to do anything. Here's some examples from some I did a while back! I used highlighters since it made it so I couldn't erase, so I had to be more purposeful in my lines, but you can use any medium you want!

And don't worry if it doesn't look exactly like the photo you're drawing from- you're learning!

Another thing is that references are your friend, looking at things and figuring out how to draw them is incredibly helpful so don't be afraid to look up anything you're trying to draw for help

Something I used to do specifically for learning, was looking at photos or even pieces of art I thought were cool and then trying to draw something how I saw it, to understand someone else's use of shape and form. These were things I kept in sketchbooks to just figure out how to draw things like hands and feet and legs, using real life and other's works as a reference to teach myself

Then later while drawing on my own, if I couldn't figure out how to draw something I would go back to my own references and practices to help myself by using my own referenced art as a reference- here's a whole page of hands I drew a couple years ago while looking at photos of hands and also some art (uhhh I believe it was from GinjaNinjaOwO on youtube- if you DO post anything you've referenced poses or elements from, be sure to credit the original artist you've taken reference from!)

You can see I've got a lot of mistakes and scribbles and wonky forms- because I was just trying to understand the shapes and practice drawing hands on my own time, this wasn't anything I had ever drawn with the intention of posting lmao

But! You can do this for any kind of thing you're trying to learn, from arms to facial shapes to hands- just learning what kind of shapes and forms bodies or anything else you're trying to draw take

As far as the side of what kind of stuff to USE to draw, really I'd say to not be afraid of pencil and paper, I know digital art can have a nice and clean polish to it, but especially if you're learning it's really nice to just have a sketchbook (any kind work, just find paper you like! I've been using dot grid notebooks lately!) and a pencil or pen or really anything you feel comfortable with, that you can just loosely draw with and use whenever you like

For digital hardware while I do LOVE the iPad, I know they're pricier and not everyone jives with them, so I'd recommend drawing tablets by the brand Huion, since I've had a great time with them in the past when I used my laptop with Paint Tool Sai, which I also highly recommend as a drawing program, but keep in mind you can use anything! I have a friend who makes AMAZING works just using mspaint lmao

Honestly! In the end, like I said, just focus on having fun and drawing things that you want to without worry for being perfect or 100% anatomically accurate or anything. There's fundamentals that are the best base to build off of but never stress too much about it. Have fun creating! 💙💜