#i was like. he knows how social media works he would. not be publicly attempting to cheat on his girlfriend like that

[starscelly]

me joining twitter cancelled i just spent 30mins trying to find out whose sister ppl were saying otter commented heart eyes under and then when i found the post the sister turned out to be dating one of his lakeville high school teammates. who is also an nhler. and he was probably doing a generic ass "(heart eyes) love u guys!" type comment. bc it was literally a photo of them together. i cannot do shit like that regularly i will go insane.

[bigfatbreak]

I see a lot of people talking about what Chloé and Kim did, and I think I'm missing something? What did they do?

In a more recent episode "Derision," (sloppy sum up below)

its discovered that the reason Marinette is so stunted, awkward, and generally staccato about dating Adrien in spite of genuinely liking him, is because she was a major victim of Chloe's the year prior. During that year, Chloe threatened anyone who would attempt to befriend her, isolating Marinette completely, only having a friend in a girl named Socqueline who would relentlessly defend her.

At the time, Marinette had a crush on Kim, and so Chloe, knowing Kim loves pranks, had him "prank" her at the pool as a fake confession. As Kim offered a fake, heartfelt confession in return for Marinette's own, he gifted Marinette a box full of spiders, causing her to flip out and fall into the pool from the high end. Sabine and Chloe were filming the whole thing, and planned on posting it on social media to openly mock her. The only thing stopping them is Socqueline, who legitimately kicks the phone out of Chloe's hands.

This leads into why Marinette is so bad at confessions. After a year of being harassed, bullied, and isolated, she takes a chance on love, and is only horrifically and publicly mocked. Her attitude towards Adrien makes more sense with this context - deeply and passionately loving him, but constantly hesitating on the last step, as last time was so devastating. She's got some severe trauma around confessing and connecting with love interests, as she assumes they're always going to mock her in the end.

I really wish this episode had been planned earlier in the series, because it DOES give good insight as to how bad Marinette had it, and would've been great context for the audience. Not long after, Socqueline had to move away, too, so Marinette had to rebuild her entire social network from the ground up, with several people in the class who didn't mind humiliating her for their own amusement.

Also I really liked Chat Noir/Adrien going sicko mode on Kim. PLEASE kill that boy Adrien. I am BEGGING YOU. He tries to cataclysm Kim in the fucking face. I was thrilled. I thrive off negativity

Using this as groundwork in the dad villain au, having all that shit happen to Marinette alongside losing Sabine essentially made her go "wow I am going to quit school and work at my dad's business. bye" which is super ironic because that is ALL gabriel wants adrien to do lmao

[isabel3710]

Alright, I have been working on a lil something for my Pop Star AU. A two shot!

Here is the first part and I'll let you guys know when the second part is posted.

------------

To the outside world it looked like Floyd Barlowe had the perfect life. After his boy-band broke up, the fourteen year old started a solo career which quickly became successful. And now, almost seven years later, he had all the success and fame anyone his age could want and there was no doubt that he would be successful for a long time.

But the truth was that Floyd’s life was a nightmare.

—---------

Floyd stared out the window of his hotel room on Vacay Island, watching the distant waves crash over the beach. His eyes were vacant as he stared out at the scenery, not bothering to take it in. 

Publicly he knew he was here on a ‘relaxing vacation to celebrate the release of his latest album’ but Floyd knew that the week would be spent making content for his social medias and doing photoshoots and promos for whatever brand deal he was currently on. He also knew that he wouldn’t get to actually enjoy the island during what little downtime he had because Floyd’s manager kept him on a short leash. 

Floyd readjusted his position on the window seat before looking back at his room. It was a fairly small and basic room with all the necessities; a bed, desk, TV, and a bathroom.  There were also two doors, one led to the hallway and the other led to the room next door where his manager was staying. He knew that this type of room was often used for friends or family traveling together but Floyd knew it was so his manager could keep a close eye on him. And have access to him in the middle of the night.

As a teenager this would have made Floyd feel icky and gross but this has been happening for so long he just felt numb. Though Floyd didn’t know if it was a result of him having gotten used to the older man’s treatment or from the medications constantly running through his system.

Floyd kept staring out the window and watched as a surfer got back to shore and picked up their board, seemingly done for the day. His eyes followed the figure as they walked across the beach and back to the boardwalk, as they got closer Floyd could see that it was a man.

The man walked back down the boardwalk, surfboard under one arm, and as passed underneath Floyd’s second story window he was able to see the surfer better. He nearly fell out of his seat in shock because that was Spruce!

While it may have been a while since Floyd had last seen his older brother he was able to recognize him anywhere. Once he had recovered Floyd pressed his face against the glass, watching his Spruce walk down the boardwalk until he left his line of sight.

—----------

Shortly after spotting Spruce his manager had returned and Floyd was pulled off for various tasks, leaving him exhausted and sore. Now it was early evening and he was back in his room while his manager went off to do who knows what.

Floyd sat on his bed watching some random reality show while attempting to ease the pains in his bad leg by using the stretches and massage techniques his physical therapist taught him.

He eventually gave up and submitted to the fact he was going to be in pain until his manager forced pain meds down his throat. Floyd hated taking his meds because of how empty they made him feel. He even hated the pain ones because he never knew if they were really for the pain or for something else.

Laying back on his bed Floyd stared up the ceiling and his mind drifted back to Spruce. Gosh he would love nothing more than to try and find him, for the chance of seeing his big brother again. But he couldn’t just leave, for the moment he did his manager would find out and see it as an escape attempt. And as soon as this ‘vacation’ was done Floyd would be locked up back in the mental hospital. 

Floyd began to fiddle with his shirt, pulling at the tread and unraveling it. He didn’t know what his manager was up to but he had a pretty good feeling he was off drinking at the hotel bar. If he could just get out of the building he might be able to get away with leaving, as long as he was back before morning. Especially if the man was too drunk to make Floyd partake in his nighttime games. 

Sitting up Floyd bit his lip, wondering if it was worth the risk before deciding that yes. It was.

He carefully got off the bed and went to his bag and pulled out his leg brace, strapping it on. His manager tended to keep his arm crutches and cane hidden to make it harder for Floyd to run off. So, as much as it was going to suck, Floyd was without any of his normal mobility aids. 

Floyd limped to the door and opened it slightly and peeked out to make sure no one was around, once he was sure that the coast was clear he left his room and headed to the stairs. 

He would take the elevator but it led to the hotel lobby. And not only would the bar be in sight but Floyd wouldn’t be surprised if the person at the front desk was in his manager’s pocket. Which meant that as soon as he was in sight of them they would alert his manager. Wouldn’t be the first time. 

So instead Floyd was stuck slowly inching down the stairs, gripping onto the railing for dear life. Until, finally, he spotted an emergency exist to the outside world. He pushed the heavy door open and found himself standing behind the building in the bright sunlight.

—-----------

It wasn’t until a half hour of careful, and painful, walking it then occurred to him that Floyd had no idea where Spruce might be. All he had was a vague direction in mind and there was no telling that was the only place he had gone today. 

Floyd just about collapsed onto a bench on the side of the boardwalk, reaching down to rub at the tender muscles on his bad leg. He groaned in pain, a part of him just wanted to go back to the hotel but at this point it was too late. He had already made it this far, might as well keep going. 

“Yo man” he looked up to see a man who smelled vaguely of weed. “You good? You look rough.”

“Yeah,” he stammered “yeah I’m fine…”

The man squinted at him “do I know you from somewhere? You look familiar.” 

Floyd sighed and got ready to put on his ‘celebrity face’ as this usually led to him being recognised. Though he was more than ready to delay it as much as possible. “No, I don’t think we’ve met.”

The man peered at him closer before his face eased up “oh! I know what you remind me of.” Here we go “you look like that restaurant dude, Bruce!”

That… Was not what he was expecting “restaurant dude?” Floyd repeated.

“Yeah! Bruce” the man said “you know. Long purple hair, tall wife? Bruce!”

“I don’t know who you’re talking about,” Floyd said.

“Really” he looked surprised “you two look a lot alike. You dudes could totally be related. Anyways, you should check out his restaurant” the man pointed down the boardwalk at a building not too far away “they got killer nachos.” 

“Oh” he said “well uh… Thanks.”

The man, who was clearly high, walked off and Floyd went back to rubbing his leg. The interaction was strange but… Good. It was nice to not be recognized for once.

As he massaged his leg Floyd frowned to himself, he didn’t know what it was but that name sounded familiar. Where did he know it from?

“Bruce” he mumbled, as if saying it aloud would jog his memory “Bruce, Bruce…. Spruce!”

That’s it!

Logically Floyd had always known that Spurce’s real name had been Bruce, kind of like Branch’s being Brandon, but since his older brother had never gone by it he had never associated the name with him. 

Straightening Floyd looked over at the building that the man had pointed at, while Bruce was a common name this was the closest he had gotten to a lead all night! So, despite the pain, he stood up again and started walking. 

As he got closer to the restaurant he was able to see the sign that read ‘Bruce and Sons.’ Looks like this was the place, Floyd headed to the door, navigating past the tables and chairs out front. 

Once inside he headed to the host stand where a young woman, around his age, stood and she greeted him with a smile. “Hi, do you have a reservation?” 

“No... Um” Floyd sputtered “this is going to sound weird but I was wondering if I could see Sp- I mean Bruce?”

“You want to see the owner?” She frowned “I’m sorry but not just anyone can see him, you know?”

“Yeah, no, I get that” he said “but if I could see him then I would be really grateful.”

The girl’s face then light up “hang on, I know you! You’re Floyd!”

He repressed a sigh and smiled awkwardly “yup, that’s me.”

Floyd wasn’t very good at the whole ‘celebrity charisma’ that others were. In fact, he had to practice and run over questions for interviews and often answers were fed to him through an earpiece.

“Oh my gosh!” The hostess squealed “I am such a big fan! I’ve been following you ever since the second ‘Music Is Life’ movie. Which was amazing by the way, I still think you should have gotten a bigger role instead of just singing at the end.”

Floyd just nodded along and kept his ‘celebrity smile’ on his face as the girl rambled and fangirled. Thankfully, someone intervened. “Emily,” a woman walked over. “Is there a reason why you are keeping a customer hostage over here instead of seating them?”

“Oh he doesn’t want a table” the girl waved dismissively “but look! It’s Floyd Barlowe. You know, the celebrity?”

The woman’s eyes widened and Floyd had to resist the urge to shrink in on himself, great, another fan. “Emily,” she said, “why don’t you take a break? I’ll handle things here.”

“But-”

“Now!” She said sternly and Emily’s eyes widened before running off. 

The woman turned to Floyd and he was able to take her in better, she wore a pair of light blue jeans and a yellow top. But the thing that caught his eye was how tall she was, at least six feet. 

She stuck out a hand “I’m Brandy.”

He shook it “Floyd, but you already know that.”

Brandy nodded “yes… Forgive me for asking but… Do you have a brother named Bruce?”

“Yes” he said, “but I always knew him as ‘Spruce,’ that's part of the reason why I came in here, to see if he’s the same guy.”

She smiled “well, I can say that Bruce and Spruce are the same person. He’s my husband.” 

“Wait” he stared at her “really?”

Brandy nodded “really. If you’d like, I can take you back to see him.”

As much as he wanted too Floyd didn’t think he could take another step without falling over “um… I’m good, I can wait here.”

Her eyes flicked down to his leg brace “well, why don’t you sit down at the very least? It’s not too busy tonight and we’re closing soon anyways.”

“Yeah, yeah that sounds good,” Floyd agreed.

Brandy led him over to a booth and Floyd gratefully sat down and took a look around. Growing up Spruce always talked about wanting to move near a beach and run his own restaurant, so he was happy to see that he had managed to accomplish that.

Floyd was pulled out of his thoughts when someone entered his peripheral vision and he turned to face them, the man beamed at him. “Floyd!”

“Spruce?” Floyd stood, grinning.

He was pulled into a big bear hug and was briefly lifted off his feet “It’s so good to see you!” Spruce said, setting him down. 

Pain shot up through his leg and Floyd braced himself against the table but smiled through the pain “it’s good to see you too Spruce”

His older brother looked really good. His hair was no longer cut short and straightened, now it was long and curly; though still purple. He had lost his famous abs and gained quite a bit of weight. 

Spruce was wearing a pair of shorts and an open Hawaiian shirt and Floyd could see the glint of a gold wedding ring on his finger. But most importantly he looked happier than Floyd could ever remember him, he seemed lighter. Like the pressure of BroZone was no longer on his shoulders.

Spruce sat down at the table and Floyd carefully eased himself back into his seat across from him “oh, just so you know, I go by Bruce now.”

“Oh,” Floyd said, "really?”

“Yup” he smiled “I wanted to put the whole boyband thing behind me. I also took Brandy’s name when I got married.”

“That’s cool” Floyd nodded “what is it?”

“Abbot.”

“Bruce Abbot” Floyd said aloud “it suits you.”

“Thanks!” Bruce smiled, “Also, you’re an Uncle.”

“Really?” Floyd sat forward eagerly, he loved kids. “That’s amazing! How many?”

“Three boys” Bruce said “Bruce Jr is five, Troy is three, and then little Cove is six months.”

“Wow” Floyd said “congrats, I’m happy for you.”

“Thanks,” Bruce said, “so what about you? What are you doing here? Last I heard you were doing a solo career.”

Floyd laughed nervously “ah well, you know, I’m just here for work stuff. You know how it is. But what I really want to talk about is my nephews. Tell me all about them!”

Thankfully Bruce took the bait and began rambling on and on about his family, not that Floyd minded. He was enjoying hearing about his brother’s family, even if he would never be able to be in their lives.

[scary-lasagna]

Headcanons about advantages of being popular for the creeps also the embarrassing stuff (Do people make edits of them like how we do 😭)

Underrealm Fandom

Considering the popularity of the Underrealm, the most popular victim of edits is most likely Slender. (Zalgo had to publicly deny liking one because it caused such a craze. He blamed it on a minion accessing his computer.)

He's the underdog, mysterious, and has a giant library. I mean, the fanfictions practically write themselves at that point.

A close second is BEN, totally not because he manipulates the forums and posts edits of himself to gain traction of his own popularity.

Definitely not.

3rd place is Jeff. No one knows why. He literally just some guy that stabs people.

Another thing is the proxies have to deal with people knowing who they are when they go out in public, so they often have to disguise themselves with different masks and clothing in order to keep a low profile.

They don't have to worry about fan-mail directly to the manor, the address is unknown to outsiders. Slender has friends at the Post that sort through unnecessary packages and mail. The creeps can choose access it as they wish, but they would rather not have too much contact with outsiders due to security reasons.

You never know who could be posing as a fan.

Toby is the biggest social media presence, he goes live at least once per day to just show some inside happenings of the manor. There's even a compilations of Toby finding Masky sleeping in random places somewhere on the internet.

Ben streams, but not as often as one would think. He works a lot and frankly doesn't have the social energy to entertain a camera.

But!! If they're recognized they usually get discounts at food places! That's good, right? Even just a dollar off goes a long way.

Sometimes companies will send individuals things as well. Fpr example, Slender will get a loot box of whiskey and bourbon every other month. And Ben gets snacks from overseas at a discount that he didn't even ask for, but hot damn, he'll take it.

But truly the biggest disadvantage is being recognized, working or not. It's just a nuisance to attempt to enjoy a day out and they're stopped and spoke to for like half an hour.

Pictures aren't allowed, but that doesn't stop them from attempting to take some...up until Kate tackled some poor fellow trying to take a selfie with a statue behind her, unbeknownst of her presence.

Everyone got the hint after that.

[yourtoradorasextendedwarranty]

You Should Care

I've been AWOL for a little while. Brain has not been working right.

That aside this is a topic I've been meaning to cover more in depth and I really wish I could get it seen by bigger names than myself like Moist, Asmond, etc. Which is the larger issue with what happened with Russell Brand.

For those of you COMPLETELY out of the know, Russell Brand has recently been accused of sexual assault, "Being a creep", and rape. These accusations came out after a "Journalist" approached several women, specifically with the intent to find women that would say things against him. Mind you, all of these allegations are over 7-10 years old and some older than 20 years ago. (Several women also came out claiming the exact opposite, and several more women came forward saying the journalists approached them as well, but because they only had good things to say, they were ignored).

Now what I'm about to cover is the larger ramifications this is going to have in the future. After these allegations came out the BBC and Channel 4 unilaterally took down almost all if not all of his content and shows. Not long after that happened, we heard that several other people were removing Brands ability to make money, specifically YouTube. Who demonetized him outright. Now thanks in part to Rumble and also....SHOCKINGLY, TikTok. Seen here.

So this is a GOVERNMENT, who actually has a decent amount of power, sending out requests to Public and Private companies, to remove the FULL ABILITY of a Private Citizen, to earn money.

Now you can totally believe that Brand did what he has been accused of. And if you do? More power to you. However, you should not agree with him being depersoned and debanked without a trial and conviction by a jury of his peers. However, this becomes impossible as news of the allegations spreads in general. It's a social assassination using the media.

However, now for the actual scary part. Under the "Freedom loving UK's" New laws, the are now threatening to remove Rumble from their country outright for not getting rid of Brands ability to make money. Never in my life have I seen this kind of blackmail by a government this publicly. For context here is some stuff that's coming out recently.

This feels like the UK reaching out to people that advertise on Rumble in an attempt to remove Brands ability to make money, but also to remove him from the internet as a whole.

And this should scare you. Not because it's some "Rich guy who used to be kind of promiscuous publicly". This is because it proves that governments have a monopoly on companies. Regardless of the interests of the public. What do I mean by this. Consider the following.

The UK Gov, more or less demanded, Russell Brand have all money earnings removed outright to YouTube(Yes other places but let's focus on this one for the moment).

Then, YouTube, takes and removes his ability to make money and removes him from the Partner Program as well. They in fact cite "Off Site Behavior" in doing this. Meaning, this sets a precedent, for YouTube, to receive a "Claim" or "allegation" against you, and they will act on it as if it's actual fact.

That should worry you. And no matter how much you don't like that "Nazis" exist, or any other awful group of people, Rumble and Kick are places that are supposed to be arenas of competition for YouTube and Twitch. Will they ever actually overtake? Probably not. But if we don't actually take a vested interest in trying to move people over to using the competition, we are more or less letting places, like the UK, or any other country for that matter, decide what is, "Real information".

How long until the profit motive from China becomes so much that companies start removing LGBT stuff from all media. How much profit motive from China is needed before they say, "Yeah no we don't just want you to minimize black roles in media. Take them completely out entirely". And while you think, "That will never happen", It's literally happening right now. THIS is the very public start to that problem. If we don't make this the hill we fight and die on, we are bowing to censorship, and we will not win this ground back.

It might be about time you started to take notice. Shit's going to go south really soon. How long until you take a stand?

[denimbex1986]

'Tom Cruise knows how to sell tickets—even to other people’s movies. “This summer is full of amazing movies to see in theaters,” the Mission: Impossible star wrote on Instagram recently, while he and director Christopher McQuarrie posed with tickets in front of posters for rival films. Cruise congratulated Harrison Ford for “creating one of the most iconic characters in cinema history” with Indiana Jones, and identified himself as one of the many people who’d make a double feature out of Oppenheimer and Barbie, which will go head-to-head in theaters as of July 21. His act of goodwill proved to be contagious, as he must have hoped it would. A few days later, Barbie director Greta Gerwig and star Margot Robbie tweeted their own photo shoot, in which they also waved tickets to their rivals: “Mission: Accepted!”

Summer box office used to be the ultimate showbiz blood sport. Now, publicly at least, it’s all kumbaya and collegiality, which says a lot about the industry’s enduring post-pandemic fears. Beneath the gracious social media shoutouts is a pervasive sense that if the public doesn’t fall back in love with in-person moviegoing for good now, the bottom will continue to fall out of the studio system and take stars down in the process. So far, summer 2023 has proven to be a bumpy ride. Sure-things have struggled, surprise sleepers have failed to emerge, and pressure is mounting on a handful of July titles to save the season.

Box office watchers are still predicting that movies like Mission: Impossible—Dead Reckoning Part One and Barbie can help summer ticket sales in the US and Canada hit $4 billion, which would be taken as a sign that the industry has indeed recovered from an anemic three years. But a trail of early underperformers—including DC’s The Flash, Pixar’s Elemental, and Indy’s fifth and final outing, Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny—has only stoked worries. With his cheerleading post, Cruise, the man who “saved Hollywood’s ass” last summer with Top Gun: Maverick, is attempting to stage a rescue mission again. This time he’ll have some help from Barbie and the atomic bomb.

Hollywood power brokers are watching all this closely, to say the least. “I was very excited after Super Mario Bros., and then I got a little more concerned after the last four weeks,” says producer Jason Blum, best known for low-cost horror hits Paranormal Activity, Insidious, and M3GAN. “The movie business has in no way bounced back like the live events business has, but I really think that it’s a matter of time.” Few expect earnings to surpass summer 2019 levels—when 32 films brought in $4.34 billion—but anything close will be a win. The industry is used to absorbing bad news—and hoping for last-minute salvation. “Not everything works,” says another studio executive poring over summer ticket sales, “but that’s just the movie business.”

There are reasons to be at least optimism-adjacent. Moviegoers still want to see spectacle—and they are willing to pay extra to see it on premium large-format screens. “2023 has definitely been a much fuller slate than pre-pandemic times,” says IMAX CEO Richard Gelfond. “And for us, it’s even a little more intense because the audience has shifted more to premium on a global basis. IMAX’s market share went up by 50% in North America and it’s gone up by about 40% globally. So it’s not only more competition within the industry, it’s more competition for IMAX screens. We think our box office will be similar to 2019.”

Similar is the new amazing.

Moviegoers signaled that they were ready to return to theaters last summer when they showed up in droves for Top Gun: Maverick, the top performer of the year with a staggering $719 million in US ticket sales, and Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness, which outperformed 2016’s Doctor Strange. But the robust performance of a handful of titles belied ongoing challenges. Last winter, as one Oscar contender after another died gasping at the box office, a senior awards strategist told Vanity Fair, “the audience is just not there anymore for these sorts of movies.” One obstacle was simply a volume problem: Even though tentpoles like Avatar: The Way of Water were dominating the weekend, there just weren’t enough movies in theaters.

This summer, every weekend offers multiple options, and they’re often aimed at disparate demographics, as with the showdown referred to in some quarters as “Barbenheimer.” Since May 5, when Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 dropped, there’s been a steady beat of new releases, among them The Little Mermaid, Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse, and Transformers: Rise of the Beasts. The major studios are expected to release 42 films widely across the country by Labor Day weekend. One studio executive moans about all this in a way that sounds almost nostalgic: “It’s such a crowded summer.”

Before Cruise began his goodwill campaign, the actor was involved in a behind-the-scenes fight for IMAX screens, according to Puck. His latest Mission: Impossible outing will play on IMAX screens for about a week, but then must give them up for Oppenheimer, which debuts a week later on July 21 and has all the screens exclusively booked for three weeks. That has little to do with earnings expectations, and everything to do with relationships. Nolan, a longtime IMAX champion, had struck a deal long before with the exhibitor to guarantee that his movie would play on those screens, regardless of who else parachuted into the market on a motorcycle.

IMAX’s Gelfond tells VF that he worked closely with Nolan and Universal on Oppenheimer’s release date more than a year ago. He visited the Mission: Impossible set and is “a huge fan of Tom’s,” he says, but this is the bottom line: “We made a commitment to Chris. Obviously, I think the movie’s going to be great, but irrespective, we honor our commitments.”

Executives worried about a crowded schedule are one sign that movies are back, baby. “We’ve had really big films since reopening from the pandemic, like Avatar and Top Gun and Spider-Man, but now we’re talking about many titles,” says Elizabeth Frank, the executive in charge of programming AMC Entertainment’s more than 10,000 screens. “People are saying, ‘Well, which one do you want to see first?’ And that’s a different level of excitement. In an industry where momentum is really important, it’s an opportunity for us to build back habitual moviegoing.”

In Hollywood, the weekend box office is treated with the same seriousness as the World Series. “I have a group of friends, we get together at the beginning of the year and we have a draft, we pick all the movies for the year, and points are awarded based on Metacritic score, based on box office, based on awards, and based on profitability,” says Blum, whose company, Blumhouse, has Insidious: The Red Door out on July 7. “We text each other every Thursday or Friday. I’m currently in second place.”

Guys like Blum no doubt pay closer attention to movie ticket sales than the average American, but even he has noticed that more people are following the money as they did years ago. “The box office derby is one of those things that everyone can be a part of,” says Paul Dergarabedian, an entertainment industry analyst for Comscore. “Not everyone has played professional sports or ridden a horse professionally or driven a race car, but we can all sit in a movie theater.”

More scrutiny, of course, means more headlines when movies stumble. For every winner like Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 (with its $356 million in domestic grosses) or Spider Man: Across the Spider-Verse ($346 million), there’s something like The Flash, which has pulled a meager $102 million in the US in spite of its reported $200 million budget, or Elemental, whose $29.6 million debut was considered a major flop for Disney’s Pixar. Meanwhile, Dial of Destiny, which reportedly cost $295 million, arguably needed to make a lot more over Fourth of July than it did. One bright spot? Studios are focusing more on profitability, which Blum contends, “everyone forgot about for about five years.” Now, he says, there’s more pressure to rein in costs: “The budget conversation was the last conversation when you were introducing new projects to buyers. Now it’s the first, which makes me happy because I think less expensive movies are often better and more interesting.”

Even before June gloom hit the box office, Hollywood had largely put its faith in Mission: Impossible, Barbie, and Oppenheimer to carry ticket sales. Now it’s even more imperative that all three titles find their audiences. Early tracking—which pegs the Mission: Impossible opening at around $90 million, Barbie somewhere north of $70 million, and Oppenheimer around $40 million—suggests that they will. Though Ethan Hunt will likely be the biggest star of the summer, media attention has focused squarely on the matchup between Barbie and Oppenheimer.

“I do think a rising tide lifts all boats,” says a top film agent. “When we have pictures in theaters that start to feel like they’re ‘watercooler’—which I really think the Barbie-Oppenheimer thing is becoming—it’s incredibly healthy for the box office, because what we’re doing is delivering an experience that people feel like was worth their time and money.”

AMC has been preparing for the summer movie season by extending operating hours at its theaters, hiring more staff, and making sure its Icee dispensers are full. “Increasingly, fans of different films are also looking for movie-themed merchandise and movie-themed drinks,” says Frank. “It makes the moviegoing experience that much more engaging and dynamic. It’s a little complicated, though, to be moving in the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle cups while you’re figuring out whether you’ve still got a bunch of people who want the Mission: Impossible ones or the Barbie ones.”

Predicting the box office has always been like reading tea leaves or tarot cards. Even IMAX’s Gelfond admits to fixating on the returns—from the first night to the last. “Like a junkie,” he says. “I hate to admit it, but yes. Most of our movies open on Thursday nights because they’re big blockbusters. So by Friday morning, I’m on the phone with our distribution and marketing teams trying to understand what the weekend’s going to look like and what’s working and not working and why and why not.”

If you want to know how summer 2023 turns out, you’ll have to wait for the final reel.'

[evverest]

workplace sexual harassment and bunch of other fucked up stuff in here. should probably be a journal entry or a therapy session but this blog is functionally my journal and i'm too scared to bring it up in therapy in any substantial way. just needed it... out.

there's something about the dynamic between the sydney and carm in the bear (which i haven't seen btw. i understand their dynamic as much as one can through gifsets alone) that like. makes me uncomfy? and it always has, and i didn't know why until a couple weeks ago a manager at my work made a lot of friendly conversation with me because it was slow and he was bored, and on a surface level i understood he wasn't being weird but my skin still crawled.

and then i was talking to boy about it and it seemed very obvious all of a sudden.

my first manager at my first ever job really liked me, thought i learned quick and was competent and fast. i was 19, he was almost 40. but we had a similar sense of humor and we knew how to bicker without actually getting mad and we understood how to get shit done. he promoted me fast. trusted me, and boy i trusted him. a lot. he knew about my suicide attempt, covered for me to the entire store and his boss. he would buy me food cuz he knew i wasn't eating. and there was some stuff that was probably real inappropriate but i was too naive and too sick to catch that, and i had just moved across the country by myself and was more isolated than i'd ever been. and then 9 months later as i got promoted to his assistant manager, he asked me to sleep with him, and i said no, and it went downhill so fucking fast. bickering turned into fighting and he bullied me and picked on me and i cried at work constantly. i confided in coworkers who i thought were my friends, and found out he had tried to sleep with every assistant manager he ever had, so maybe i only got promoted cuz that's what he wanted. just another box ticked. and they all knew that, but never warned me. i felt like a fucking idiot. and then those same people i'd confided in complained to the district manager i was being inappropriate with my complaints to them, so i was harshly scolded and banished to another store and eventually another district. i still don't know if the district manager knows what actually happened.

and when i did get bumped to another district, every friend i'd had in the company shunned me. and the district i was in shunned me too.

i was in a new role and drowning, and the only person to reach out to me was him. he helped a lot. talked me down from the panic and answered all my questions and sympathized and like maybe it was fucked up but i just felt grateful. dropped all the anger and accepted the help cuz i had none other available to me. it made my partner so upset. he'd seen most of the whole saga happen, had seen how much it fucked me up, and i didn't really have a good explanation. i just needed help. and he was there, and when it really came down to it i knew he was good at his job. then i overslept cuz i was overworked, and by some weird twist of fate the same district manager who yelled at me for not getting along with my boss who wanted to sleep with me got to fire me, and i think she enjoyed it.

we didn't talk much after that. i ran into him at a bar once, he waved, then paid for me and my partner's drinks. i still followed him on social media. one time i posted about my car breaking down and he messaged me to offer to pay for an uber home. then the amber heard trial happened and when she lost he celebrated publicly and unabashedly and that was too much, too pointed, even for me. i finally cut the tie.

but the effects he had are still here, positive or negative. the promotions he secured for me mean most food service places will hire me without a second thought. two year unemployment gap? overlooked cuz i have management experience and a history of quick promotion. and he was such a good fucking trainer. i understand customer service and how to move fast and be effective under pressure. i know how to train others. it was my first job and he was to this day the best trainer i've ever had.

but i'll never know if i was promoted cuz i was good at my job or cuz my boss wanted to sleep with me. and if you're a man, and you're my boss, and you're friendly with me, every hair will raise on the back of my neck. i felt nauseous when that manager chatted with me on a slow day. he was just bored. just being nice, but i don't trust him anymore.

and i can't watch the bear. can't watch them bicker or be affectionate or tell each other not to be shitty or respect the others abilities and talent. can't do it, i'd probably throw up.

idk what i even think of the dude anymore. i'm not angry with him. don't hate him. the amber heard stuff made me mad, made me feel sick, but once i'd unfollowed him i just. forgot. the bad is too mixed in with the good and i can't parse it.

so of course i brought this up at the very end of a therapy session and she said "yeah, that's your trauma" cuz there wasn't time to say much else and idk if i want to say anything else to her. just wanna stop benefitting from a relationship that was so fucked up i almost can't put it into words. just want past me to have been smarter, bolder, less naive. want past me to report him, but i know i know i know there's no world where i would have, and it makes me. sad.

[tartlette1968]

I was going to make a long comment about something else.

But then this came up, again, this week.

I guess I'm not unique, I have an ambivalence towards "the Footy". But it's complicated. My Dad was an amazing man, and his whole life revolved around Aussie Rules Footy. The AFL was formed in the 90s, but the game has been in existence for... well frankly who knows exactly how long. Its roots lie in the Indigenous game, Marngrook. Some dispute this and that's only one of the problems.

My Dad would sit in front of the TV watching the game, and yell...

"Get in there, help him!!! You're playing like a girl... KICK IT!!!"

Well, you get the picture. His favourite phrase, however, was, "Weak as water."

He played the game, and knew as much about it as anyone would. He saw things on the screen that only someone who had good game instincts would see. He played the game for a long time, until he was 50, and then he became a boundary umpire. Because of this, I was always surrounded by footy players. They weren't overtly homophobic, but it wasn't an environment that screamed out a welcome to any player who was gay or bisexual. And this was a time when Footy was a "man's game".

When women started to do sports reporting, there was an atmosphere of resentment from the players. Constant attempts to embarrass the reporters out of the job with overt displays of naked genitals, aggressive incursions into personal space, exaggerated and incessant swearing, but it failed. Not least because most of the female reporters had grown up around football, and they were used to it.

Football players have always had a problem with homosexuality and bisexuality. Some of them were incredibly predatory, themselves, but what they feared was a fellow player preying on them. They feared being looked upon, feared being lusted after by one of their fellow players. In short, they feared that a team mate would treat them the way they treated the women they "fancied", or that a team mate would want to treat them that way.

But the sporting climate has changed rapidly since the turn of the century. Still, there have been less than a handful of players of any code who have publicly identified as gay in any of the male competitions, and no AFL players amongst them. It is also very likely that there are few same sex attracted players at all in the various AFL competitions around Australia, as the deeply entrenched homophobia likely drives people out of the game.

The most alarming thing is that there doesn't appear to be any intention to address this gross oversight.

There have been a number of AFL players who have taken a break from the game to work on their mental health. It is probable that some of these players have done so because of their sexuality, but it would be the absolute last thing they would admit.

The behaviour and attitudes of the spectators demands attention, too. Social Media posts about the AFL are peppered with racism and homophobia in their comments, in particular the platform formerly known as Twitter. Since Elon Musk has removed nearly every measure that was aimed at reducing abuse, it has worsened.

How long the AFL can maintain its popularity is difficult to say. If the issue is not addressed, the number of younger spectators, and players will decrease, as tolerance of homophobia, sexism, and racism is markedly lower in younger generations, and they will pass judgement with their feet.

Basically it's a case of shape up, or die.

[paradisetemporarilymisplaced]

So I was being a basic bitch the other day and listening to my true crime podcasts when it occurred to me just how suspicious Nile’s “death” would look to everyone not in the Guard, leading me to a train of thought that, 2200 words later, absolutely got away from me but I can’t let go so I’m inflicting it on all of you!

To set the stage, we know the movie takes place over approximately a week. Here’s what happens to Nile from the military’s point of view:

She dies is very seriously injured

She heals without a scratch

Just before she’s supposed to be shipped out to Germany, she vanishes, leaving two men concussed (and presumably reporting being knocked out by a woman with short hair wearing civilian clothes)

She goes AWOL for several days

They get word from the CIA that she is to be reported killed in action (details unclear)

So, at the beginning of this very weird week, the USMC has to tell Nile’s family of her death critical injury. What her family was told depends on how long she was dead – a Google search tells me that family will be notified in person within 8 hours of a soldier’s death, but we don’t know how long her first death lasted. For an injury, however, they’d get a phone call to notify them and the unit would arrange for them to visit as soon as the soldier is transferred out of a combat zone. Like I remember when I was in high school, a guy from my church who was a Marine was really seriously injured in a helicopter crash in Iraq and from what I could tell, his parents were told immediately and were flown out to Germany to see him, so it stands to reason that Nile’s family would have been informed relatively quickly after her throat was slashed, one way or another.

And then, she goes AWOL. Her family would be notified while the USMC tried to figure out where she went, not least because the military would want to know if she’s contacted them. (And it’s possible that her family may have been on the way to Germany to see her since we know that’s where she was supposed to go!) So for several days:

Nile’s mom and brother have no idea where she is

They know she was seriously injured and most certainly should not have been moving around on her own

They can’t get a hold of her

The military can’t tell them anything

And the next thing they know for sure is that she was “killed in action.” After being injured and vanishing into thin air. And they presumably cannot produce her body or any concrete evidence of her death. In any case, something sketchy is going on, so they’re like. SMELLS LIKE A MILITARY COVERUP.

In a surprise to probably no one, there is a well-documented legacy of mysterious US military deaths, particularly of women of color (TW for sexual assault in these links). The cases of LaVena Johnson and Vanessa Guillenin particular have made national news because of their families’ persistence in seeking justice. Likewise, Nile is a Black woman, and her mom and brother are most certainly hypercognizant of (a) state violence against Black people and (b) these high-profile cases of suspicious military deaths. So her family are seriously side-eyeing the situation, knowing that (a) the military has a serious incentive (and a documented history) of covering up things that make them look bad and (b) nothing about Nile’s disappearance and supposed death are adding up.

And Andy’s right. Nile does come from warriors. And you know who else does? Her brother.

Don’t get me wrong. Nile’s mom would absolutely not back down. She’d know something was up and want to get to the bottom of it. But based on what I know about Gen X parents (mine), they’re not the most technologically savvy. Like they can use the internet, but they didn’t grow up with it the way we young millennials and Gen Z did. So Nile’s brother takes the lead. And what do zillennials do best?

Social media.

Nile’s brother starts going hard on any site he can, trying to get the word out to see if anyone knows what happened to his sister. He starts a Reddit thread. He starts a Facebook group. He reaches out to the media and true crime bloggers and podcasters à la Sarah Turney, getting loud and being a general nuisance in hopes of getting some answers. He gets his friends and Nile’s friends involved. Maybe eventually Dizzy, Jay, and others from Nile’s unit hear about it and reach out, telling him what they saw and how weird it all was. He’s drumming up interest, and soon “Nile Freeman” becomes a household name (at least among the true crime fans).

Copley is, of course, trying his best, but at this point there is just so much that it’s impossible for him to scrub everything. Sure, he can erase new footage of Nile and the Guard, but what can he do about Reddit threads and podcast episodes that are speculating something weird has happened? Maybe he could hack the sites and shut those things down, but honestly, that’s the last thing he’d want to do, because that only adds weight to the theory that Nile’s disappearance is a military coverup. So eventually he has to tell Andy what’s going on.

Andy, obviously, does not take the news well. However, she is also completely computer illiterate, because that’s Booker’s job and he’s the only one who ever bothered to learn what the internet is in any meaningful way. (She probably calls Booker for advice, and for the record, I think Booker would have no qualms about shutting down conspiracy threads, tinhats be damned, but Copley is too concerned about the consequences. He’s ex-CIA for crying out loud, he knows how it’ll look if they scrub every mention of Nile’s name from the internet.) Maybe she confers with Joe and Nicky but, let’s be honest, they’d be equally unhelpful. So at this point, she knows they have to bring in Nile.

But the thing about Nile is that she, too, knows how to use the internet (duh). Aside from her being a young millennial/digital native, we know from the cave scene where she’s giving Booker suggestions on how to track Copley that she clearly is even more computer savvy than the average person. And for that reason she almost definitely took over the day-to-day tech stuff after Booker’s exile. So I think it would be foolish to expect her to be unaware of what’s happening. She’s not contacting her family or posting on the message boards or anything, but she knows what’s up. So Copley and the team probably sit her down to “break the news,” but we know the girl does not have a poker face (see: literally shooting herself in the foot and not being able to play it cool whatsoever) and cracks immediately, telling them she’s seen everything about her case – she’s not interacting with any of it, she certainly didn’t instigate anything, but she knows. (And she is so goddamn proud of her brother.)

At this point, I’d like to pause and consider Nile’s role in the overall narrative of this movie. She’s set up as a foil to Andy, obviously, but she’s also a foil to Booker. Booker, who, like Andy, is a serious pessimist, but who, unlike Andy, still has very fresh memories and trauma associated with being the new kid, which have destroyed him. In his mind (and Andy’s), if Nile communicates with her family, she’ll become just like him in a century or two – bitter, alone, and stuck with her grief and memories of watching her family die and knowing they died resenting her. It’s a small sample size, but this is the only experience they have to go off of.

But it doesn’t have to be like that.

There’s been a lot of discussion of TOG being a fundamentally queer movie – a group of people brought together because of something inherent about themselves that is different, that must be hidden, that causes others to hate, fear, and reject them. Booker’s backstory is the archetypal traumatic “coming out” story – his family learns who he is, hate him for it, and attempt to cast him out of their lives. He’s stuck with his trauma, his pain, his loss, and it consumes him.

But what if Nile’s family would be the opposite? What if her “coming out” to them as immortal is met with acceptance, love, celebration? What if her family is just overjoyed to have her back, and they don’t care what the circumstances are? I'm reminded of this incredible post from @shitty-old-guard-deaths a while back, where Nile’s mother hits Booker with a frying pan because “my baby let me believe she was dead for FIVE YEARS based on your bad advice???” (which may or may not have inspired this whole tangent). Nile takes the advice of someone who did the same thing she wants to do because she doesn’t want to risk her family’s rejection. She wants the good memories with her family and is afraid that showing them her true self will bring her unbearable pain, forever replacing those memories. But, with high risk comes high reward.

Anyway. Nile and the team are trying to come up with a plan for how to handle this whole thing, but she’s not really participating because she’s too afraid to hope. Until finally, quickly, so she doesn’t lose her nerve, she suggests she reach out to them, knowing that, realistically, that’s the only solution before things snowball even further out of control. The team is shocked, but realize that she has a point. They decide that Copley should actually be the first point of contact, posing as a US government official to talk with them and test the waters.

So Copley goes to Nile’s family’s house to talk with her mom and brother. They’re probably distrustful and apprehensive, but nonetheless secretly ecstatic that their work has paid off. They talk and review all of the information that they’ve collected, including testimonials from the people on Nile’s base and recent sightings (along with photos) of Nile (with the same three people) over the last few years that people have sent them but they haven’t posted publicly. At this point, Copley’s like, yeah this is about to blow up, we gotta put our cards on the table. He convinces them to come with him to some safe house/black site/whatever he can get that is technologically impenetrable (I’m picturing them in like, an interrogation room at a police station kind of deal), takes their phones, locks the doors, and brings in Nile.

What follows is the most delightful reunion scene of all time, bringing Joe, Nicky, and even Andy to tears as they watch and listen from outside the room. With Copley’s help, Nile tells her mom and brother about her immortality and what’s been going on since she died (within reason, of course), and they are thrilled. They don’t understand why (because no one does) but they don’t question it and they see it as a gift from God – she’s been resurrected, she will live, and she has a purpose. Her mother and brother are so happy to see her again and are willing to agree with pretty much anything to stay in her life as long as they can.

So. They set up some complicated agreement (they bring in the other three for support/intimidation as needed) setting the terms of their relationship. They swear Nile’s family to secrecy, maybe bringing up the lab to show how high the stakes are, and they readily agree. They come up with some cover story for Nile’s brother to share on the message boards (maybe that the government has opened an investigation but because it’s an open case he has to shut it all down? Tells people to direct their tips somewhere else? Something to that effect). There’s still speculation, of course, but without Nile’s brother at the helm providing the energy, the hype dies down as news stories are wont to do without any movement. And Nile’s family goes to work for the team. The experience has taught them that Copley can’t possibly do everything himself, especially when it comes to social media, so Nile’s brother takes the lead on the day-to-day tracking/social media while Copley and her mom focus on finding jobs and scrubbing their traces afterward.

So there you have it: Nile gets to integrate her biological family into her found family and spend the rest of their lives with them as it should be, Copley gets some badly needed help managing the reality of social media, the team finally has a positive narrative surrounding outsiders Knowing About Them AND about interacting with people from their previous life, and the audience gets the happy ending to this very lovely and very queer story to counteract the pain associated with Booker’s family.

Plus, you know, I’m a sucker for both a good government conspiracy theory and for Nile getting every good thing she deserves.

[rappaccini]

ngl i find it really concerning how more and more (usually youngish) people seem to be treating fictional characters like real people, and real people like fictional characters.

no, that character doesn't give a shit if you're cyberbullying other real people in order to Defend or Condemn Their Actions, because they can't give a shit. they aren't going to be Held Accountable because they can't be, because they never did anything wrong. because they never did anything. because they aren't real.

no, that famous actress you're obsessed with isn't having an 'arc.' no real person can have a character arc.

no, the famous white boy you crush on is not "written by a woman" because he was not written by anyone. because he is a person.

no, that character cannot be 'invalidated' by a member of the audience disliking or not agreeing with an aspect of the way they're written that coaligns with that character's identity as an [insert race/gender/sexuality/etc here]. because that character's identity was chosen for them by a writer. it definitionally is up for debate the way all aspects of a fictional work are.

(and conversely, no, you cannot 'debate' how a real person identifies. because they're a real human being who is responsible for their own thoughts. would be real sexy of you guys to protect real people the way you protect your individual interpretations of a fictional character.)

no, that fictional couple cannot be protected or harmed by dogpiling onto other real people in order to support or attempt to break them up. because they are not real people.

no, that real famous couple is not a sports team to root for or boo at. they're real people in a real relationship with real feelings involved that is not 'content' for you to unhinge your jaw and swallow.

no, reading a story about a fictional toxic relationship and being intrigued by it is Very Fucking Different from rubbernecking an actual abusive relationship being played out in public. difference being, fictional characters do not cause each other real harm. real people do.

no, that famous person, or even just that person you follow on social media, is not someone you know intimately in the way you feel like you know a fictional character. you will only ever know them based on what they reveal publicly, which is curated. they don't know you exist and don't care that you exist.

no, that character isn't your crush. they aren't your friend. they do not actually exist. the attachment you feel to a fictional character and the investment you feel in their arc is nothing like the feelings you hold for real people. for fuck's sake go meet some.

no, you are not "the main character." because you. are not. a character.

idk. just don't like where those trains of thought keep heading.

[retrogalwrites]

Title: “Shigaraki and the perfect girl” / see on ao3

Pairing: Incel!Shigaraki x f!reader

Summary: Shigaraki has a crush on what seems to be the perfect girl who everyone loves, and becomes obsessed with the idea of corrupting her.

Warnings: attempted sexual assault, virginity fetishization, dub con, creepy behavior, stalking, manipulation and somnophilia with a twist

Contents: creampie, vaginal sex, breeding kink, scent kink (in a gross way), mating press, slight dumbification, corruption kink

Word: 4873

Shigaraki had been watching you from the very beginning, all through your high school years. It hadn't been much of his fault, he always told himself, when your existence alone did nothing but to stand out.

You had always been the center of attention, the most popular girl in the entire school, little Miss Perfect. With your good grades, unrivaled beauty, hordes of friends, admired by all students and professors alike. Being always so kind and innocent, with a friendly demeanor towards everyone, including an unwanted outcast like Shigaraki.

On his end, he had always been the creepy one, the strange one, the antisocial one that sneered at others and cursed them under his breath. Everyone avoided him like the plague, at least whenever they weren't too busy tormenting him, all too eager to remind him of how unwanted he was.

The complete opposite of you, Shigaraki was a social pariah.

On your third year, whenever other students would bully him publicly, give him looks and tell him how gross and disgusting he looked, you always had to come right to his rescue.

"Stop it, guys! That's no way to treat someone." You'd say softly, standing between him and his tormentors like some kind of protector. "Leave him alone, would you?"

And they couldn't say 'no' to you, no one could. Reluctantly they would give in to your heartfelt request and leave him be, those fools always dancing on the palm of your hand, but who could blame them? The hottest girl in class, lusted after by every boy in school, including Shigaraki himself, there was no way anyone could resist doing whatever you wanted them to. So pretty, so sweet, so perfect.

You had it all so easy, didn't you?

Shigaraki hated you for that, deeply and passionately loathed your very existence, a resentment that only grew stronger every time you would turn around, with that expression full of concern, to ask if he was okay.

Yes, he hated you for that. He also desired you for that, adored you in fact, wanted you as badly as any other buffoon in your class did. But not in the same way as them. No, when you looked at him with those sparkly eyes, pouting lips, leaning over his desk to give him an eyeful of your chest straining against the fabric of your school uniform, the feelings that stirred inside him were ugly and suffocating, something too depraved to be love.

When the other guys glared at him for having your attention even for a minute, it made his heart beat faster, it made his blood boil as his hands itched to grab you and destroy you, bend you over his desk and tainting every corner of your body right in front of them.

"You're lucky [name] takes pity on your sorry ass, Shigaraki." One of his bullies would scoff, once you were out of earshot.

"I didn't fucking ask her to. Maybe the bitch has crush on me, huh?" He'd spat back with vitriol, just to be met with a kick to the shin. As he hunched over in pain, he'd always hear those same words.

"Know your damn place, freak. A crush? Please, she's too perfect for you."

And they were right, so very right, but it only made Shigaraki want you more, more, more. His infatuation was warped with the thought of revenge, the desire of getting back at everyone by taking you away for himself, and to get back at you simply for daring to exist.

So Shigaraki would curse you in his mind, every single day, and then every night he'd spent it pleasuring himself to fantasies of you, sometimes holding the items he had stolen from you in the past (a gym shirt, your lip balm, the pencil you'd chew on during class). Creating scenarios where he'd get you alone to taint you, destroy you, turn you into dust and ashes with his own hands until he had dragged you down to his own level: a freak, a pariah, the lowest of the low.

If only he had the guts to do it, if only he could admit to himself that he wanted to do it at all, for real.

—————

After graduation, not seeing you for the following months pushed his mind deeper into that brewing obsession, drove him mad with it.

Shigaraki stalked your social media, watching his phone all day to make sure he didn't miss any of your publications and updates, downloading every selfie you uploaded to keep for himself and fap to later. His infatuation had been growing more and more out of control with each passing day, you invaded his thoughts every waking hour.

And yet Shigaraki told himself that it was really only a coincidence that he had ended up in the same college as you. Despite having read through a conversation on the comments from one of your posts on your Instagram a month or so before graduating, about your college prospects. Despite writing down those prospects to later tell his school advisor that he wanted to get into that same school. Despite having begged his father to send him there despite the inconvenient distance away from home in his daily commute, despite having chosen a major he didn't care about just to be in the same class as you.

His self-denial kept that obsession barely restrained, keeping it from pouring out into reality, and you also had to ruin that.

"Tomura!" You had approached him on the first day at campus, excitedly calling his name with such familiarity. The sound made his breath hitch and his cock twitch inside his pants, stomach fluttering.

"Oh, umm...hey." He chewed on his chapped lip, looking away as he lied through his teeth. "Didn't expect to see Miss Perfect here, of all people."

Despite of his dismissive tone being cold as ice, you kept smiling at him, only laughing as if he had been joking.

"It's so good to see a familiar face, you know? Come, sit next to me!!" You had grabbed his hand without a second thought, pulling him along with you into the classroom. People already whispering just from seeing you two walking together hand in hand: a breathtaking beauty like you and him, a disheveled mess, who had been wearing the same dirty hoodie for already a week.

Yet you didn't let go of his hand, even when he had already started to sweat and his palm got all clammy against yours, you didn't let go. The thought of rubbing off his filth onto your skin filled him with joy.

You really were a fucking idiot.

Holding hands with your stalker so casually, with the guy that wanted to ravish you in a dark corner, break you with his cock until you were screaming his name, and make you beg for your life like a pathetic bitch. Yes, that's what he wanted to do, more than anything in the world. He wanted to destroy you, to violate you, to break you, to make you his. Those weren't fantasies, it was reality.

Shigaraki used that same hand to jerk himself off that night in his dorm, imagining that it was you being forced to stroke his throbbing cock. He imagined that you would be so disgusted by his filthy self, your clear skin getting all of his dirt rubbed all over, fat tears streaming down your face as he forced you to open your mouth and take him in until you chocked on his cock.

Soon enough, he was thrusting into his fist, cumming all over himself until his cock softened, and his hands and abdomen were covered in his sticky semen.

What would you do if you found out that the guy you had been so kind to all these years wanted to hurt you so badly? Shigaraki imagined the despair on your face, and soon he was hard again.

—————

For most people, life after high school plays differently. Once you get to college, popularity contests become a thing of the past...but not for you, it seemed. During that first semester, Shigaraki had to watch how everyone around you was back to fawning all over you. Stumbling over themselves to ask you out to parties and dates (how many times did he overhear guys talking about what they wanted to with your tits and ass?), professors favoring you for your perfect grades, everyone adoring you as the perfect girl once again.

He was still an unwanted pariah, ignored by everyone, looked at with scorn by others.  Except whenever you gave him your attention, of course, only then did people want to get all buddy-buddy probably hoping to get to you with his help.

God. He fucking hated you. And he fucking wanted you.

One day, he finally snapped.

Shigaraki decided that he was going to have you before anyone else got the chance to put their hands on you, the perfect girl that everyone loved so much, would belong to the guy everyone hated.

He was going to tear you down once and for all, like you deserved, for living all these years with a silver spoon in your mouth having it all so damn easy. Wipe off that smile off your face, take it for himself, and make sure you were sullied, miserable, broken.

So, Shigaraki planned his next actions very carefully then. For a whole month, he tried to be more open towards you, more friendly, taking advantage of how kind you had always been towards him despite of the dismissive way he always had treated you with. Despite his awkwardness at it too, something that anyone else would've been turned off by already, but you took his attempts with endearment.

It pleased him, how you fell for it so easily, excited to see him reciprocate your attempts at friendship, the excitement on your face whenever you two were paired together for a project or study sessions.

You were so innocent, and so stupid. He truly loved you.

—————

Shigaraki couldn't believe his luck, the day after an assignment when he got you to come with him to his dorm to start working on how you were going to plan around the workload.

His dorm room was, admittedly, filthy. Unwashed clothes and trash scattered everywhere all over the floor, wraps of junk food and snacks hastily piled on an full trash bin in the corner. Anime figurines, video games, and posters decorated the shelves and the walls. The only spot that was kind of well kept was his gaming corner, with his pc and monitors all sparkly clean. He knew it was a shameful way to live, and he excitedly looked at your face hoping to see any semblance of disgust towards it. The lack of it, made Shigaraki frown.

"Err...sorry, I didn't know you were coming so I didn't clean up the place." He feigned concern, trying to edge a reaction out of you.

"That's ok, sorry for barging in." You gave an understanding smile.

Shigaraki's twisted resolve only became stronger. He was going to wipe that smile off your face, and that thought echoed in his mind on repeat for the following hour you two sat down to work.

Though, of course, his attention was not in the books in front if him. Shigaraki was too focused on the fact you were sitting on his bed, your bare things peaking underneath your skirt making direct contact with his dirty bedsheets.

Could you even begin to imagine that those bedsheets were stained with cum from his daily fapping? That he furiously had been jerking himself off to you for months in that same bed? His blood had begun to run towards his loins, and his cock was starting to strain against his jeans. Shigaraki had to cover himself with the textbook as to not to give himself away.

"Tomura, can we take a break? I'm getting tired." You yawned some time later, putting the book away and stretching your arms above your head. An action that gave Shigaraki a perfect view of your pretty curves, the way your tits heaved slightly as you pushed your chest forward, and a flash of midriff peaked from underneath your top.

"We still got a lot to do, dumbass." He curtly replied, pretending he wasn't leering.

You pouted, like a brat. He couldn't understand how you got such good grades when you could be this lazy sometimes. "Please, just fifteen minutes?"

He pretended to think about it, before shrugging at you begrudgingly. "Alright, just stop looking at me like that."

With a pleased, cheeky smile, you let your back fell on his mattress. Something that actually took him by surprise, Shigaraki watched in disbelief how you bounced on his bed, thighs and tits jiggling. You yawned again as you curled into a ball, he wondered if you even noticed how he ran his tongue over his dry lips. Were you really going to make it this easy for him? Were you that stupid?

"Wake me up in fifteen minutes." and you closed your eyes.

"Sure thing." He couldn't stop his lips from stretching into a huge, sinister smile.

—————

Shigaraki had never been a patient man, but he exercised all of the patience he had within him just to wait out the agonizingly slow seconds as you gradually fell asleep. He kept his eyes glued on your laying form through the first five minutes, casually but excitedly palming his erection through his jeans as he watched you fall asleep. He waited, and waited, silently observing your breathing until it fell into slow, regular rhythm. Soft snoring sounds purred from your throat, leaving your lips.

His cock was so fucking hard it hurt.

Hesitantly, Shigaraki called your name once in a hushed voice, then twice a little bit louder, and when he got no response from you, he knew that the time he had waited for all those years had finally come.

The time to break you.

The beating of his heart hammered loudly in his ears, as Shigaraki crawled over the bed towards you. His weight shifted the shape of the mattress, so he moved as slowly as his desperation allowed him to, as to not wake you up yet. Positioning himself above you, his legs straddled you underneath him as he unbuckled his pants and pulled out his throbbing erection, veiny shaft all with the head red and swollen, looking like he was about to burst. Then, supporting himself on his knees, he leaned back for a moment just to take in the wonderful sight you made.

Spread on his filthy bed, so comfortably on your back, breathing through lush parted lips. The girl chased after by everyone at school, they all would've killed to be in his place and to see you like this, to have you like this. Looking so small, so fragile, so defenseless, so fucking perfect.

Years of abstinence came down crashing all at once and Shigaraki's depravity took a hold of him completely, and it felt damn good.

His lips came down to cover yours with such pathetic urgency, Shigaraki crushed your soft body underneath his larger, even if skinny, frame. Dry and chapped lips devoured the softness of yours, and they tasted so sweet and creamy, exactly the same flavor of lip balm he had stolen from you back in high school. God, he could feel your heavy, round tits pressing against his chest, his erect cock rubbing needy against the snug gash of your clothed crotch, the engorged head poking at your entrance like he was in heat like a dog, shuddering violently at the stimulation. He moaned loudly against your mouth, forcing his tongue between your teeth and into your sweet mouth, as drool trailed down the corners of his mouth and smearing against your pristine skin. God, he forgot to brush his teeth after his morning coffee, his mouth was surely filthy...not like it even mattered to him anyway. Neither did it matter that he was going to wake you up like that, he indulged on tasting you completely. In fact, he anticipated to watch you wake up, and realize what a stupid bitch you had been.

Bringing his hands to your face, he forced your mouth to press harder against his as he kissed you so sloppily, his throbbing erection rutting against your core.

"(Name)...oh fuck, (Name)..." He whined against your lips. Just a virgin that he was, Shigaraki couldn't help that the mere stimulation of your clothed pussy-mound rubbing on his bare cock was really firing him up, pushing him so much that he was creaming his pants already. He shuddered, muscles tensing as the head of his cock spurted huge jets if his smelly, sticky cum all over the front of your skirt and your thighs.

He breathed heavily, looking at the mess he made.

Then he heard you call out to him, and the sound of your voice was anything but distressed, or even angry.

Instead, you sounded disappointed.

"Aww, you already came?" His eyes shot to your face. You were wide awake, face flushed as you stared at him through fluttering lashes and glossy eyes, the expression of someone who was throughly aroused. Shigaraki was the one struck by shock, and confusion.

"Tomura, I can't believe you are such a quick shot. I was looking forward to this, you know?" Your disappointment somehow puzzled him more than the sheer anger of being called out for his quick ejaculation, and that was impressive on itself. His expression made you giggle.

"What the fuck are you laughing for?!" He growled with bared teeth, his hands moving to your writs to restrain them above your head, crushing you with his body again. You whined, not in fear, but need.

He couldn't begin to understand what was happening. You weren't freaking out, you weren't crying, you weren't despairing.

"Do you understand what is happening here? I'm assaulting you, stupid bitch!" He lost his cool so quickly.

"Of course I know." Speaking in a whisper, your back arched, pressing yourself further against Shigaraki, raising your thighs to catch his cock between the soft flesh of your exposed, sticky thighs. He hissed through his teeth,  the touch easily making his cock spring back to life, harder than before.

"Tomura, you've always been a creep." For the first time, your voice sounded harsh, condescending.

And disgusted.

Finally, that disgusted look. Shigaraki stared at you with a burning gaze through red eyes, mouth agape at the sound of those words being uttered by you, that look on your face that he had wanted to see for the longest time. His cock twitched, a spurt of cum drooling down the tip and getting on your exposed panties. The feeling made you shudder, your things squeezing his cock between them again. His back arched, hands restraining you gripped your wrists tighter, he cursed at how fucking good it felt.

"But I always liked that about you, honestly! How gross you are, how dirty and smelly you are, you are always so mean to me too! I wanted you to take me like this by force one day."

"You...wanted this to happen?" Shigaraki was starting to understand, though none of it made sense. You snorted, giving him a suddenly smug grin that made his blood boil.

"I always hoped it would." A candid confession, your own breathing had become erratic, the euphoria of pouring out your deepest secrets. "It always made me feel so hot to imagine that you fucked me and made me all dirty and disgusting, that you turned me into a freak like you."

It sounded like pure bullshit, and yet the genuine honesty in your voice left no room to question it. The reality you presented him with had shattered his own. And it made him so damn angry and so fucking turned on. He felt all light-headed suddenly, like he was in a dream.

"So you've been fucking with me all this time?! Is that it, you damn bitch?!"

One of his hands roughly grabbed your throat, fingers circling the frail column of bone and squeezing hard, you gasped at the sudden pressure keeping you from breathing. You stared up at him. His gaze bore into yours, face inching closer to snarl with pure, scorching fury.

And yet you still looked so ecstatic, a lewd expression that couldn't be further from that angelic, innocent look everyone always said made you so perfect. You looked absolutely wicked in that moment.

"Yes...I have." You spoke through labored breaths, clawing and the hand around your throat. "You fucking...disgusting...creep."

Shigaraki realized then, that you hadn't ever been perfect, in fact, you had been the same as him from the beginning. A depraved fucking mess.

And he hated you for that, loved you for that.

Shigaraki then let go of both your wrist and neck, slipping his leaking cock away from your thighs as he leaned back on his knees. Gasping for oxygen, your head already felt light by the time you felt your clothes being violently ripped off from your body, blouse and skirt tearing away and being thrown behind Shigaraki's towering frame, leaving you in only your underwear.

The frilly, see-through thing that looked more like lingerie. God, you really were such a fucking freak, weren't you?

Shigaraki's hands went to unclip your bra that so luckily opened at the front. Throwing the item with the thorn pile of your other clothes. The sight of your bare tits bouncing in front if him was like out of his deepest fantasies, and Shigaraki didn't wait a second longer to roughly squeeze your breasts in his calloused hands, taking handfuls of the supple mounds of flesh he had always dreamed to grope. They felt full and heavy in his palms, fingers sinking into their softness, and seeing the way you mewled when his thumbs teased the hardening nubs of your nipples, making you softly moan his name, Shigaraki lost it.

His mouth attacked one of your nipples, mouth latching to the puffy areolae and teeth sinking into the flesh as he sucked hard and desperate. Your reaction was immediate, hands tangling into his messy white hair and fingers pulling at his scalp, mouth parted to mewl his name in pain and delight. He kept suckling at your breasts, hungry and rough like he was hoping to suck milk out of them, the other hand already playing with the other breast, mercilessly pulling and twisting your hard nipple, bruising the tender skin.

"Tomura wait — ooh!!" Your body trembled as you whined out his name, another wave of pleasurable pain hitting you when Shigaraki squeezed your breasts together and brought both nipples into his greedy mouth. Sucking at them and lapping at the pebbled skin with his tongue, until your were squirming underneath him like a needy little whore.

One of his hands delved down to your panties, the thin string that held them up all to easy to break with one powerful tug. You gasped, a sound that turned into a loud scream when you felt his fingers teasing the hot wetness of your pussy lips, before he buried one digit into your core, testing your insides.

"Oh fuck..." You breathed, biting your lip, feeling him experimentally finger your inner walls. Shigaraki was fascinated at how hot and slick you felt inside, your fleshy walls sucking around his fingers so tightly that he wanted to stuff his cock inside that hole now, now, now.

He let go of your nipples with a lewd pop, spit dribbling down the abused skin. "Who would've thought...that you had such a filthy mouth." He snickered. "You are so fucking wet already, you goddamn degenerate, you want my cock so bad, huh? I'll let you know I haven't showered in a few days." It was like he was testing you by basking in his own disgusting habits.

"Y-Yes, I do, I want your filthy cock!!" Another loud moan, uncaring that other people in the dorm were going to hear. "Please, Tomura, make me filthy!!" The expression on your face, mouth agape with your little tongue out so unabashedly desperate for someone like him made his heart flutter.

Shigaraki would've wanted to keep you begging for so much longer, but in reality, his own desperation had him pulling back his hand from your pussy, leaving you empty and sighing disappointed for a moment, but not for long. Firmly anchoring himself down with his knees on the mattress, he raised your hips with a bruising touch and with the clumsiness of an inexperienced man, plunged his cock into your pussy in one punishingly rough thrust. The sudden feeling of being full had you arching your back and curling your toes, nails clawing at his forearms as you writhed in pain from the sudden intrusion. Shigaraki buried his cock into you until his pubes brushed your outer lips, and he was balls depp inside.

"Fuck, fuck, ooh...holy shit you...are fucking tight." Tomura groaned with his mouth agape, eyes rolling to the back of his head. His breath hot against your skin as he leaned over for a moment, taking in the unbelievably hot sensation of you squeezing around him. "This fucking greedy pussy, hngg..." Your insides felt so good, better than he ever imagined, you were so tight sucking him in like you were trying to rip off his cock. Was this what pussy felt like, or was this just you? Seeing what a slut you were, he didn't think you were even a virgin. And yet your velvety walls wrapped around his shaft in a snug fit inside that scorching, pulsating heat, Shigaraki couldn't imagine anything else comparing to it.

He couldn't stop himself as he began thrusting his cock into your hole, pulling only slightly before sinking back, selfishly unwilling to let go of that delirious sensation around his length. The harder he snapped his hips, the better it felt, his balls throbbed as they slapped against your plump ass.

"Tomura, i-it hurts....mmm, oh!" Tears swelled in your eyes, and yet your hips were needly sinking on his cock like there was anything else of him to take. What a glutton for punishment you were, but soon that burning pain became something just as good, even better actually, delicious pain, and your were soon arching your back and bouncing on his cock with all your might.

"Guess neither of us are virgins anymore, huh?" You panted with a laugh. Shigaraki froze then for a second, his eyes stared at your face contorted by pain and pleasure with wide eyes, enraptured and burning with something a little hotter than desire. A virgin, so even after the truth of your character, you really were as untainted as he thought.

Shigaraki was scrapping your virgin insides with his cock, truly making you filthy in the most pure sense of the word. He was tainting you, breaking you, the perfect girl everyone adored.

That was it, Shigaraki cursed under his breath as he pulled out, earning a confused and disappointed sound of from your lips, that then became a little help when he grabbed the back of your legs and pushed them up, bending them against your chest. He positioned himself over you and stuffed his cock back inside, thrusting into you as hard as he could, taking up a new merciless pace. In that new position, both of you could feel him reaching even deeper inside you, the engorged head on his cock hitting the entrance of your cervix, that little orifice sucking at his tip like it was begging for his filthy, fertile seed. The thought made him fuck you even harder, the image of him pouring his cum inside you and impregnating your insides.

"Tomura, Tomura, Tomura!!"

His name was a chant on your lips, arms thrown around his shoulders to pull him closer. You could smell the sweat and grime on his hair, and the thought someone so gross like him was taking you made your insides flutter and twist with the build up of an orgasm. "Tomura, don't stop, fuck...don't stop!!"

He didn't and soon you were clamping on his cock, your orgasm making you so tight that Shigaraki was shooting his load too reaching an abrupt climax, pleasure hitting him as his cum flooded your insides with its warmth, painting your walls white and filling up your womb until it was overflowing out of you, steaming down your thighs and ass onto his bedsheets.

It was like a dream, the best dream he had ever had. And he would've thought that it was nothing but a dream, too. If not for the arms that were still clinging to him and refusing to let go, the pretty mouth breathing against his ear.

"Tomura, you...really are disgusting." A satisfied voice filled with disgust, and affection. His cock began hardening inside you and you barked a laugh.

He hated you for that, and he loved you for that. The perfect girl everyone wanted, that was just so perfect for him too.

[itsclydebitches]

I am briefly pausing my normal RWBY content to talk about something completely different: Kang Soo-Jin. 

I binged True Beauty recently. As in, “I haven’t managed to watch anything new in half a year, discovered this drama, and promptly marathoned 14+ hours of content,” so to say I’m enjoying it is an understatement. I might do another post sometime about why I think the show works so well, but for now, like many (drama only) viewers, I’m specifically grappling with Soo-Jin’s descent into antagonist territory. At first I was just as shocked and disappointed as others seem to be, but upon reflection I don’t think this is badly written in the way many fans are claiming. To frame this as, “I can’t believe they would make wonderful Soo-Jin suddenly OOC and bully Ju-Kyung over a guy!” is ignoring core parts of her character. I’m as sick of the girl-hates-girl-over-guy plotline as the next viewer, but in the interest of acknowledging that there are exceptions to every rule, I think this is one of the times where that choice makes perfect sense. 

Soo-Jin has been abused throughout her life and I’m not simply talking about the fact that her father hits her. Though that’s obviously horrific, what I think is more pertinent to this conversation is the intense competitiveness her parents have instilled in her. The physical abuse comes about because Soo-Jin fails (in their eyes) to be the best, which is where Ju-Kyung comes in. The Soo-Jin we knew in earlier episodes wasn’t faking. She isn’t an inherently evil person who was just waiting for the right time to show her true colors. Rather, at the start of the story Ju-Kyung—crucially—was not in competition with Soo-Jin. Or rather, Soo-Jin did not perceive her as competition. She’s after the best grades in the school and Ju-Kyung is notoriously at the bottom of the class. All she has going for her are her (new) looks and her easy-going personality that makes her popular, two things that Soo-Jin isn’t interested in. Even if she were, those things already come naturally to her too. She’s already friends with Soo-A and, as is commented on multiple times, naturally beautiful without any makeup on. Soo-Jin has been taught—literally had it beaten into her—that she must be the best and in the beginning of the show she pretty much is: popular, mature, confident, smart… just not the smartest in her class. Ju-Kyung doesn’t threaten any of that, so friendship initially comes easily for Soo-Jin, the sort of friendship that allows her to chase perverts off busses or hide her friend’s real face. 

This changes once Soo-Jin’s “perfect” mask begins to slip. They’re heading towards college, she’s running out of time, and she still hasn’t managed to take the top spot in the class. Worse, she drops out of the top ten. This exacerbates the abuse to the point where, as we see, she’s constantly in the bathroom trying to cope by washing her hands. Any tiny deviation from that “perfection”  — like, say, leaving your tutoring session when you realize your lifelong friend just got devastating news — results in the sort of yelling/physical abuse she can only escape from via a locked door. While things get worse on her end, they get better on Ju-Jyung’s. Her grades go up some and she becomes even more popular, attracting not only school-wide attention, but the attention of the two hottest guys too, including Soo-Ho. For a while this is still fine from Soo-Jin’s perspective, but things really take a turn when Ju-Kyung changes Soo-Ho. Meaning, she helps him come out of his shell and teaches him how to be a kinder person… which includes being a better friend to Soo-Jin. The Soo-Ho who suddenly lies and announces that they have to go study just to get Soo-Jin away from her father’s insults, all of it stemming from a small tick he paid attention to, or comforting her while she sobs over the abuse… that Soo-Ho didn’t exist at the story’s start. He was too wrapped up in his own grief and has been that way for a long time. They may have known each other since childhood, but Soo-Jin and Soo-Ho don’t appear to be particularly close in the past—all Soo-Ho’s flashbacks are with Seo-Joon and Se-Yeon. But that starts to change once Soo-Ho himself changes. Soo-Jin’s ability to keep it together is unraveling, Soo-Ho is opening up and becoming more emotionally available (something Soo-Jin even comments on), then her whole class starts eagerly talking up how good they would be as a couple… so Soo-Jin sees a lifeline. Soo-Ho will care for her even when no one else will. Of course he will. She’s already seen him be that person multiple times. 

The problem is that Soo-Ho has his own life and his own problems to grapple with. Between grief over See-Yeon, panic over telling Ju-Kyung how he feels, and the initial rush of dating—what couple doesn’t want to spend all their time together at the start?—he doesn’t have much energy for Soo-Jin. Which from his perspective is fine. They don’t normally hang out together outside of study groups, so yeah, he can put off a conversation with her… not realizing that Soo-Jin is now putting all her emotional eggs in his basket. By the time her feelings are coming to light, Soo-Jin is actively sabotaging her own attempts to get attention and compassion from Soo-Jin. By manipulating them—here’s a new scrunchy to remind you that you’re my best friend and you can’t ever betray me, here I am showing up unannounced at your apartment and guilting you into not spending more time with me, etc.—Soo-Jin has put Soo-Ho (rightfully) on his guard. He’s wary of having a private conversation with her about something she won’t name when he knows Ju-Kyung has been a mess over losing her friendship. He has no desire to listen to her confession of love after she’s just tossed Ju-Kyung’s beloved necklace into the fire. In her efforts to ensure that Soo-Ho pays attention to her, she only succeeds in driving him away. 

All of which makes Ju-Kyung the enemy in her eyes. The new competition. To her mind, friendship and love cannot co-exist because Ju-Kyung stands in the way of that love, therefore one has got to go. (In contrast Seo-Joon, coming from a loving family, is in time better able to accept that he can be friends with Soo-Ho even though he likes Ju-Kyung. We can discuss the problems inherent in giving one plot to the girl and the other to the guy, but as they are, these characters have concrete, in-world reasons for their different reactions to what’s essentially the same situation.) And why does love (“love”) win out over friendship? Because Soo-Jin has latched onto Soo-Ho being her boyfriend as the way to finally “win” at life and fix all her problems. It’s fine if she’s not the best provided she’s dating the best, just look at how much Dad fawned over him. Second place academically is suddenly an option provided the top student is on her team, so to speak. The fact that Soo-Ho is also one of the most handsome, a great athlete, super rich, and one of the few people to provide her with feelings of safety certainly doesn’t hurt matters. And the only thing that stands in her way of securing this life-saving “win” is Ju-Kyung. Who is she? No one compared to Soo-Jin. Her grades are terrible. She’s not wealthy. She’s pretty… but oh, only with her makeup on. 

Soo-Jin doesn’t need makeup, so why not win this competition by showing the whole school—showing Soo-Ho—what a fraud Ju-Kyung is? 

From Soo-Jin’s perspective she’s done the math and come out on top. Everything that (supposedly) matters she either has equal to Ju-Kyung, or is superior, therefore it’s obvious that Soo-Ho would choose her in the end. She says at much: If I had confessed first you would have loved me first, so now that I have confessed you’ll break up with her. Hell, even Ju-Kyung believes this. She has the nightmare about Soo-Ho learning that Soo-Jin has feelings for him and immediately, publicly breaking up with her. After all, if he suddenly has both as an option the winner is obvious, right? It’s all about competition, what they’ve been taught to believe is a competition: Ju-Kyung through her bullying and Soo-Jin through her abuse. The difference is that Ju-Kyung has had the whole series with Soo-Ho (and others) helping her slowly unlearn this mentality. Soo-Jin had the rug pulled out from under her in an instant. 

Soo-Ho says no, I wouldn’t have loved you if you had confessed first and I’m not going to date you now. It’s important to realize that this shatters Soo-Jin’s entire world. It’s not about a girl being upset that she can’t get the guy — not even about Soo-Ho as an individual, really —  it’s about an abused girl not knowing how to grapple with the fact that she finally did everything “right” and still couldn’t “win,” coupled with losing the last bit of security she had. Soo-Ho broke the unspoken rules Soo-Jin’s father beat into her and she doesn’t know where to go from there. She literally has no one else to turn to. So she falls back on the only way she does know how to handle a situation like this: by still trying to win. If Soo-Ho won’t admit that she’s better, she’ll force him to realize that by plastering Ju-Kyung’s “ugly” face all over social media. Which, to be clear, isn’t an excuse. This isn’t meant to be a way of absolving Soo-Jin of her absolutely horrific actions, only a means of explaining them. Her descent, while shocking to those of us who loved her initial character, is well written because it’s a nuanced look at what can happen when you abuse a kid her whole life and teach her that competition is everything. Oddly enough, she’ll apply a competitive outlook to everything and deal with her stress in unhealthy ways. Ju-Kyung is a victim of Soo-Jin now, but Soo-Jin is a victim too. Her home life has ensured that she does not know how to accept failure—or what true failure even means—so it was inevitable that when things got bad, she’d  try to fix it in ways that hurt both her and those around her. It’s all she knows how to do. 

So far less “Perfect girl goes ooc and abandons her friend over a boy” and far more “Abused girl falls into a terrible, but predictable cycle that the other stressed high schoolers around her are not equipped to break.” Soo-Jin’s story isn’t bad writing, it’s tragic. Thanks for coming to my three page TED talk ✌️

***

2/4/21 FINALE UPDATE! 

[leninisms]

my analysis of hoax because it’s the only thing i think about

disclaimer: this is my personal interpretation. i am in no way saying this is exactly what taylor meant. this is my opinion so please don’t be mean, i promise i cannot handle it.

this includes a brief summary and an attempted lyric-by-lyric analysis under the page break.

summary: i think hoax is about multiple things that all kind of connect in some way shape or form. in long pond taylor says that she wrote this song not knowing exactly what or who it was about. i believe a notable amount of these lyrics are in reference to 2016 and the reputation era, but more seem to be about her masters being sold to scooter and her feelings regarding scott’s betrayal. 

lyric-by-lyric analysis:

my only one - my one and only my lifeline (dress)

my smoking gun - you said the gun was mine (lwymmd)

my eclipsed sun - the social media blackout of 2017 occurred on the day of the solar eclipse (reputation era)

my twisted knife - you stabbed me in the back while shaking my hand (tiwwchnt)

my sleepless night - a possible reference to all of the songs in which taylor mentions late nights, not sleeping, or the famous “2 AM” lyrics

my winless fight - taylor is fighting to own her music, but it feels like no matter what she does, she cannot win.

stood on the cliffside screaming, “give me a reason” - loosely parallels this is me trying (pulled the car off the road to the lookout / could’ve followed my fears all the way down), also a reflection of screaming into nothingness, looking for answers or guidance (asking the traffic lights if it’ll be alright)

your faithless love’s the only hoax i believe in - she believed in sc*tt’s kindness and familial love for her, but now she knows money mattered more to him than her friendship. maybe part of her still believes in him, but deep down she knows the truth

don’t want no other shade of blue but you / no other sadness in the world would do - her old music is full of sad songs and the color blue. (”losing him was blue,”  “you paint me a blue sky,” “my love had been frozen, deep blue,” etc.) re-recording her music will never be the same as owning her original songs and she’s heartbroken about it. revisiting that sadness wi

my best laid plans / your sleight of hand - we all know how much time and energy taylor puts into her music and her lyrics and her easter eggs. “your sleight of hand” is in reference to scott/scooter stealing her hard work.

i am ash from your fire - they’re burning all the witches even if you aren’t one / so light me up (idsb), now i breathe flames each time i talk (mad woman), etc. this also reminds me of the final stanza of sylvia plath’s lady lazarus “out of the ash / i rise with my red hair / and I eat men like air.” 

you know i left a part of me back in new york - taylor loved living in new york. she has made this very clear. but in order to take the time she needed to heal herself and find true happiness, she needed to leave that world behind her. 

you knew the hero died so what’s the movie for - scott always knew he’d sell her music, so why would he devote his time and energy to gaining her trust, just to throw it all away for money. why act like he cared for so long if he didn’t? if he knew his end goal, why manipulate taylor into trusting him when he knew he wouldn’t need her trust after a certain point. 

you knew the password so i let you in the door - she trusted scott, told him all of her feelings and thoughts, shared her ideas with him and he betrayed that trust

you knew you won so what’s the point in keeping score - i think this is very similar to “you knew the hero died so what’s the movie for?” but perhaps more specific to after the selling of her masters. scott knew the contract was signed and that taylor’s music was sold to scooter. why lie about the process when he’s already won? why try to fight her publicly when he could just shut up and be done with it? why keep the score?

you knew it still hurts underneath my scars from when they pulled me apart but what you did was just as dark - being torn apart by the media and her so-called “friends” was difficult, and it left taylor scarred, but the pain of scott’s betrayal is just as bad, if not worse. she saw him as a family member. he was there for her and he listened to her and then when it mattered most, he suddenly didn’t care anymore.

my only one / my kingdom come undone - she was at the top of the world following 1989. she was a pop superstar, a country princess. i believe this is an acknowledgement of having her reputation destroyed and her life picked apart simultaneously, after having been praised and worshipped for nearly a decade. this idea of a kingdom come undone is also used in “call it what you want”

my broken drum / you have beaten my heart - her heart is the drum, he has broken her heart in a way no one else could.

if you’ve read all of this i love you.

[arcadialedger]

Please note that I am most likely leaving this platform. I am done being abused. But first? We need to have a discussion. A discussion about hate and bullying in fandom.

All online-- I encourage you to read my story below. Reblog and spread awareness. The Dragon Prince fandom especially -- I implore you read my words, every single one of them. The short of it is that I am done. 

This all began with losing and being blocked by a friend because I shared something they disagreed with. I don’t care what you feel about my initial reaction to this (which I’ll explain below) -- I’ve apologized for not handling the situation correctly. But I will not be shamed for speaking my mind and standing up for myself.

Because no human being deserves to go through what I have endured since last summer.

Following the “callout” post made about me by one of, if not the largest blogs in this fandom, I received hundreds of threats, harassment messages, and death threats. Messages and posts telling me to kill myself were also prominent, on a multiple times a week basis for awhile.

Messages from people who were well aware I have struggled with being suicidal. Due to one of their favorite Dragon Prince blogs speaking out against me, they thought it was okay to suicide bait me.

And it worked. I already struggle with hating myself, am already insecure, and being flooded with these comments which, while I made mistakes, did nothing to deserve, drove me to try and take my own life after years of progress in my mental health.  

Mind you, this is like a 200 follower to 4k follower power dynamic. Which yes, plays a role-- because when you have a large following and influence, you have power. Yet the person behind this had the gall to claim Tumblr clout isn’t real.

People blocking and condemning others instantly at your word? Is power. If people read your words and are influenced, or have their minds changed, or buy or don’t buy something, etc.-- you are an influencer. You have power. And when you’re one of the largest blogs in a fandom, you have a LOT of power.

So take responsibility. 

I was hurt because I lost a friend who I had chatted with for months, did a podcast with, and was generally not only one of my favorite blogs but the center of my experience in the Dragon Prince. I may not have been perfect in my words, but when I was asked why I was quiet/ inactive, I explained how I was hurting, anonymously. I was understandably in pain and upset. I had been cut off for just having a different opinion on a matter, for thinking differently. Even though it was within their rights to block and do so, it felt wrong and it weighed on me.

Is that such a crime?

The callout post and previously described abuse followed, lasting for months until later in the year (this began in June, or around then). It also included screenshots of tweets, when this user does not have Tumblr, and they have stated to have screenshots stored up on their computer of my various posts and interactions. This is creepy behavior, and freaked me out. I felt like I was being stalked, “evidence” being filed away for the very purpose of being used against me. 

I eventually talked things out with the blog per recommendation of my therapist, and thought all would be fine. For a little while, it was. I largely stayed off of Tumblr to heal. Once in awhile I would have a rough, tearful night because something reminded me of what I lost, but I would make it through. Overall, I was making progress.

Then? My Twitter got hacked by one of the people sending me hate. For what had turned out to be much. And after they tweeted some purposefully incriminating and bigoted things to make me look bad, I came home from a weekend in the mountains to a shitstorm.

Twitter has a love hate relationship for me and I barely opened the app unless actively chatting with a friend. So when I saw 700+ notifications, I was surprised. It had never happened before.

I began to scroll through, and when I saw what had happened, I ran to the bathroom and threw up.

I had lost over half of my followers and a solid 60% of previous Twitter mutuals had blocked me. But worst of all, I had hundreds of hate tweets directed at me replying to the hackers tweets. Messages had been sent in DMs and accounts blocked, followed, and unfollowed as well.

If you have never felt that loss of agency-- that sickening feeling of words you never said next to your profile-- be glad. Because it is traumatic. I value my words. I value what I have to say. And having that taken from me was worse than anything I had been through here on Tumblr, outside of the suicide baiting (the most direct attack to me and my emotions/ insecurities throughout this entire ordeal). Further, this hacker had clearly stalked my tweets based on some of their comments. 

Hundreds of tweets bashing me, calling me aphobic slurs (knowing I am asexual mind you, as it was in my bio), making fun of my appearance and targeting all of the insecurities which lead to my first suicide attempt in high school, and taking/ editing images of my face and mocking them. This all culminated in a doxing threat-- a doxing threat which made me feel unsafe on a campus I had already been sexually assaulted on. I was once again, after starting the healing process, thrusted back into the darkest time of my life and spiraled into anxiety and depression. I cried a lot overwhelmed by it all, had difficulty sleeping, and felt sick. I started fall semester and couldn’t concentrate on school. I was a mess.

I had once again been condemned, this time for something I had no part in. I tried to example what happened but nobody listened. I had been hung without trial. People were understandably confused, and my entire reputation on the platform, and my page, became a mess of lies, misunderstandings, and more.

If you don’t know the feeling of already hating yourself and being insecure, and having these beliefs reinforced and spread by hundreds publicly across the internet? Of already feeling lonely and unwanted and having the one space you thought you had taken from you? Consider yourself lucky. 

I had a lot of voice actors and creators following me-- accounts I interacted and greatly cherished my mutual with. A handful of them unfollowed, understandably. This online hate mob was sending messages to people demanding they unfollow me, including some of these creators. They had no idea what to make of this mess or what was real and true and just didn’t want to deal with it. Most of the others just stopped interacting with me. @aaronwaltke (tagging so those who don’t follow already click and do so, because he is absolutely fantastic-- he’s a writer for ToA)  who had followed me on the platform, graciously wished me peace with the entire situation after I checked to make sure he had not been subjected to messages or hate, either from my hacker or other accounts. His was the greatest compassion I got on Twitter, before I ultimately ended up just having to delete.

I lost podcast deals because of this with Adrian Petriw, Aaron Ehasz, and Justin Richmond. I do not blame them one bit and would have done the same in the confusion not wanting to get dragged into anything. 

Only to have one of the friends I lost who helped start this interview these very people on their own podcasts. A slap in the face. A zine I had bought to support them came to my door, with the front page proclaiming to “spread a narrative of love.”

I was never granted that chance. That compassion. I had the vultures sent after me with no mercy. And anyone who has been through online abuse and systemic harassment knows just how much it feels like they’re slowly but surely picking at your flesh ( a metaphor I used in one of my old, since deleted posts discussing the situation, and still find accurate), wearing you down until you have no strength left.

Make no mistake, my story is not a one off situation. Many share the same tale of abuse and being driven off of platforms that once gave them great joy. These attacks are coordinated, systemic, and common hobby for these people-- who largely claim to be loving and accepting of all. They are a cyberbullying phenomenon which has risen with the presence of fandom on the internet. And I want to make clear, with current discussions of “cancel culture”, I mean nothing political in that statement. Some might call my experience cancel culture, but I don’t.

It’s just bullying. It’s just hate. These people get off on ruining people’s lives.

And my life was greatly set back and ruined. I had a stain on my past in fandom I could never be rid of. I had to shut down my podcast, took time off of all social media, and most of what I had built, most of my growth, was taken from me while those who incited and/ or spread hate thrived and continued to grow and find success. That was the greatest sting of all. 

I asked the one previous friend who hadn’t blocked me, but had just stopped interacting with me (which I understood and respected, and also greatly respected her perspective, help, and support though this situation in which she largely unfortunately ended up in the middle) for help after explaining everything, and got nothing. They didn’t seem to care, and just blocked me on all platforms. Once in awhile, I would find I was cut off from yet another old friend, or a blog that I had never interacted with before but clicked into, interested. It hurt being cut off, unable to fully interact with the fandom, but I could move on.

That pain would never go away, but I made clear I did not blame them for the actions of those who abused, harassed, and threatened me. I also made it clear they did not owe me anything, including unblocking. 

I just wanted to move on peacefully, but those with the power to enable that did not wish to help. I slowly, when I felt ready, began to be more active on Tumblr again, and once again the hate started up. 

Sometimes when I was hurting, I expressed my pain and loss to my followers just to reach out, because I was sad. I had no idea how to rebuild from all that had happened. This got me more hate an accusations of emotional manipulation and gaslighting. I had no idea what to do, and got trapped in a cycle of needing to talk about it, and getting hate and backlash, but not knowing where else I could turn. 

My doxer came back into my asks, ultimately making me switch schools, and refueled the drama. Speaking up about this got me more backlash-- mostly accounts reblogging (one with tags saying “fuck you”, despite not knowing the full story, and commenting and then blocking me so I could do nothing to respond or get it off of my page. I deleted all posts of the matter, as requested by these people (who validly pointed out they were in the main fandom tags, which I hadn’t thought of and understood), and hoped to move on.

But it hasn’t stopped. I have been beaten down and emotionally bruised for months. I have had my life and safety threatened, my education and by extension life path altered, and lost work (podcast) opportunities due to this-- alongside the irreversible emotional damage from trauma and abuse. My mental health issues and insecurities-- which I have been very open about to destigmatize the subjects and encourage conversation-- were actively targeted to inflict the most pain possible. 

And I can’t even talk about it, without enduring more hate and accusations of “playing the victim”.

Death threats, suicide baiting, doxing, months of bullying and harassment to the most vile degree, which a lot of these people don’t know about because they don’t even bother to read my words. Yet I’m playing the victim. 

And the accusations of bigotry and being hateful hurt, because it couldn’t be further from what is in my heart. I believing in love and acceptance of all. I don’t know how many are religious here, but I found God after my first suicide attempt and that is what his word has taught me. 

I’ve been through too much in life to tolerate this, for lack of a more eloquent term, bullshit. I know what abuse and victim blaming looks like when I see it. And in my 20 years of life, I have gone through too much: constant ridicule and bullying, suicide attempts, sexual assault, major spinal surgery, to just be stomped over and not stand up for my right to basis human decency. 

I refuse to put up with this, so unless I get an apology and some semblance of justice for everything I have been through, I am leaving. I will not participate in a space run by hate and toxicity. I will never claim to be perfect, and I have apologized for my mistakes and wrongdoings. Now, hold those who did this accountable. If you’re reading this you know very well who it was, and I am not naming them for those who don’t. Because at the end of the day I still send nothing but love and wish no ill will towards them.

But I’ll be damned if I don’t expect accountability of one of the greatest influencers in the fandom for their complacency in abuse, threats, suicide baiting, and and absolute ruining of my life and online experience. They enabled this and were well aware they had the power to stop it-- to ask their followers to stop-- and did nothing. They didn’t care-- about a human’s life and well being. 

@dragonprinceofficial, are you aware that this is what many of the fans of your show, which preaches love and an end to the cycle of vengeance, do to others? That this is happening in your space? If you stand at all by the values you preach, condemn it. @staffTumblr/ @supportTumblr-- shame on you for allowing this abuse to happen and ignoring my reports. Shame on you for permitting these people to operate in your platform and for being okay with hosting hate. People have been driven to suicide on your website-- I am one of the lucky ones. 

If you care at all about humanity and stand against this behavior, reblog and spread awareness. Share my story so I may not happen to anyone else. Tag @dragonprinceofficial until they notice and speak out. 

This is my story, and so many others. Make sure it doesn’t happen ever again. No human being deserves to be treated how I was. Everyone deserves compassion, decency, and respect. And everyone deserves a place in fandom. Do better. If you want to reach out to me DMs are open, as well as my email, which is attached to my account. Until this change happens and I am given the support/ help needed to safely function on this platform, this blog will not be active outside of that. 

Thank you all of the many accounts who have supported me, and I am working on getting back to all who have reached out! Your love means the world. You know who you are, and I don’t want to tag in case people come after you for showing me kindness. I am sorry if this is goodbye, to all that have enjoyed my blog. I enjoyed it for a long time  too. I loved sharing my passion for stories, culture, having a space where I could analyze and discuss my favorite things.  I loved getting to share what I had to offer with the world, having fun and posting jokes with my unique sense of humor. I loved interacting with intelligent people/ fellow fans and discussing my favorite stories, offering each other new insights and growing together. I loved the many, many kind and wonderful people who reached out to me in a variety of ways and provided support and friendship.

In the end, it just isn’t worth all of this pain and trauma, and I know when to put my foot down. I don’t want pity, I don’t want apologizes, and I’m not a martyr. I just want my story to make a difference-- to spur positive change in fandom culture/ spaces.  I will be tagging all fandoms in which I have seen this kind of abuse present as well, to reach as many as possible. 

Be safe, and be kind.

- The Arcadia Ledger/ Ryn/ Katie, signing off.

[lostnct23]

Noona?

Pairing: ? x Reader Word count: 2974

Summary: You are the new SM staff whom other members can’t seem to shy away from your charm. But there’s one person who’s more than eager to get you all for himself.

Warning: Slow burn. Possesiveness. Suggestive Disclaimer: This is a pure fiction. There’s is no way that the portrayal of the artist’s character mirrors the artist’s actual true self A/N: Please do not repost this other on social media platform without the consent of the author. Feedbacks are always appreciated and if you have any request or scenarios in mind, I’d be more than willing to entertain your ideas. 

All rights reserved.

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Recently, there has been this SM staff who suddenly became famous among to other staffs. It’s no secret that she’s been the content of the mundane talk of other people within the vicinity. Well for one, it’s because she was extremely talented, new, graduate from abroad and the most infamous one was because, for once, Jisung the ever-shy boy around girls is very comfortable around you. He’s not even very subtle at hiding his adoration towards you.

Ever since you started working in the company it was no surprise that you were extremely approachable despite the fact that you were extremely shy at first. People really adore you for your sincere nature and your genuine heart. That’s why it’s not even a mystery why the NCT maknae was so drawn towards you, however, with that being said, so does the other NCT members.

At first, it was Johnny who was very blatant at showing that he found you adorable, and considering that both of you are very familiar with what is it like to live abroad you quickly click and become comfortable with each other. Then there’s Jaehyun who has his ways of charming people towards him, and then Mark Lee who was unquestionably very friendly and comfortable to be around. Despite the fact that many people swarm their way towards you, you are good at keeping your safe distance, never going beyond what is considered unprofessional which is why you perplexed one person in particular.

He noticed how despite being friendly and tending to other people, you have your subtle way of putting lines between you and them. It’s like you can read other people’s intentions without making them uncomfortable of knowing what was their agenda, that’s why he kept a safe distance from you. Not because he doesn’t want to be close to you, but because he wanted to be able to pass through the walls that you built around you.

With that being said, he just quietly observe from afar, silently studying what he should do, what were these people doing wrong, why despite their attempt you still have that tall wall around you, how should he do things right to win your favor without a single restraint as you have with others.

“Noona!” the maknae exclaimed after seeing you emerged from the curtain behind, today you were assigned as their photographer, it was one of SM’s marketing strategies for their upcoming comeback and you couldn’t be more excited to work with all of the members. They were always with their units, but today, SM decided to have all of them merge. 

“Jisung-ah!” you replied and gave the youngest a warm hug, which doesn’t go unnoticed by the brooding man at the back, silently throwing daggers towards your direction, his make-up artist is not so fond as well at his sudden long face expression. “ Have you been well? “ you asked adoringly. 

“Jisung-ah!” you replied and gave the youngest a warm hug, which doesn’t go unnoticed by the brooding man at the back, silently throwing daggers towards your direction, his make-up artist is not so fond as well at his sudden long face expression. “ Have you been well? “ you asked adoringly. 

“Yah, what this eyebags, you stay up all night didn’t you?” you playfully scolded him. Jisung suddenly grew embarrassed and even a little guilty at disappointing you.

 “ 밥 먹었어요?” (Bap meogeoseoyo) you asked the boy. He just shakes his head as a no and you scoffed at his answer. “그래, 알았어, Let’s eat after this, Noona’s treat” (Grae, arasseo) you said then patted the young boy’s back which earns a delighted smile at his end. On the other hand, someone was not very happy at the scene that unfolded before his eyes. How come, that the ever wallflower Jisung managed to win you over, the only women he laid eyes who doesn’t flatter at other people’s advances towards her. Even the oh-so-great flirt Yuta didn’t manage to have you swoon over your feet.

He was snapped back to life when other Dream members started to tease Jisung because of his encounter with you. Jaemin was the loudest to utter ‘Our Jisung-a is no longer a baby boy huh” Jisung only rolled his eyes and utter how they don’t make sense and how other members were saying the most rubbish, and weirdest non-sense ever. Starting from that day he started to make his own move at making his effort of getting close to you. Doesn’t matter if he can’t break your walls because he’s more than willing to climb it just to get to you.

*****************************************

Weeks have past and he can already see the progress within your relationship, you were warmer to him than before, you would even greet him first when you do happen to crossway in the hallway. He was also almost confident that you favor him an extra bit more than the others. You were usually shy with other members, would wait for them to acknowledge you first but with him, you would say hi first once in a while. He even became more confident when you asked him first to help you get to know the city when he’s free until it became your thing to invite one another to visit a shop that has only been open recently. 

The keyword was almost.

Once their photoshoot from last month was initially released you were relentless at showering Jisung with a compliment. Telling him how proud you were with him, how handsome he looks at some shots. The breaking point was when you told him that you will treat him, AGAIN, with a meal.

“Let’s celebrate this, there’s this restaurant that just open, we should try it” you beamed happily to the boy, even snaking your hand around his right arm. He couldn’t bear the sight, he knows it’s wrong for him to feel hostile towards the youngest member but at this point, he is beyond his rationality. “I want to come to!” he said way too loudly and too aggressive than his normal tone.

All eyes were now focused towards him, shocked at his sudden outburst. But the thing that’s been running in his mind was the fact that he can’t let you be alone with another man that’s not him. He was only starting to build his way at winning you, he can’t let other men have an advance in his game. 

Meal with a new restaurant was our thing.

Midnight stroll in the city was our thing.

Going out to visit a new store was our thing.

He’s missing something. Do you like younger boys? Was the problem was his age? Was that it? Was that the reason why you always pin over Jisung despite other members pine over you? He thought you were getting along. He almost even thought that his feelings towards you were starting to cease from being one-sided.

“Oh sure, no problem with that Taeyong Hyung, you can always tag along whenever,” the young boy said, completely oblivious to the way Taeyong’s eyes were raking your form as if he would take you right there and there. You on the other hand found his outburst peculiar and very out of character.

*****************************************

Starting from that day, Taeyong was more obvious at dropping hints towards his affection. He’s no longer subtle at giving you compliments. The members were not oblivious to this, the moment that Taeyong made his affection towards you obvious, was the moment the other member took it as a cue to back off. They never really saw their leader took an interest in anyone, he’s always too busy to take care of everyone that he always neglect to fend for his own self, so when started to become all puppy eyes whenever you are around, follow you everywhere you go, do everything just to get your attention from bringing your files for you up to the littlest things and reason just to be with you, they knew you were now a serious deal.

Taeyong may have made things obvious, but whatever it is that’s going on between the two of you, it was never confirmed nor denied verbally. 

Taeyong always made sure to be pinned in the hip with you whenever he had the chance. May it be the time where you visit their practice room to disseminate some information, may it be the time that they’re free and just casually chilling at the cafeteria, Taeyong would even bring you a drink every chance he got, staying at your station just to casually hang around in a place where you were doing your own things, so basically you were dating without actually being said to be dating.

People around the company started to suspect that there’s something going on between the two of you. Interns who have shown their interest towards you were always warned that you were already Taeyong’s and it would be in their best interest to find someone else than bother you because Taeyong might be the sweetest guy, but boy was he possessive as hell.

There was even one time where an innocent intern was too close to you for Taeyong’s liking and behold, it was the first that everyone witnessed his possessiveness. He wouldn’t keep his hand off of your waist. He would constantly be glued at your side, towering whoever comes in your way, intimidating every single employee who would just approach you. He might not verbally tell them to get lost, but his intimidating aura alone is enough to send them off.

And that was the time that everyone knew better than jeopardize you and Taeyong. It might never be officially stated that the two of you were an item but he’s an idol, and they would never vocally nor announce publicly that they were dating, even if it’s only inside the company. Nevertheless, the way he was behaving around you was enough to show that you were indeed his, and his alone.

*****************************************

Everything was well, the day was bright, everyone was just having fun, well that’s until someone was having TOO much fun without HIM being by your side. Taeyong doesn’t appreciate the fact that Jisung’s hand was around your shoulder and that you were laughing way too loudly for his liking at to what the maknae was saying. And the fact that you were bare except for your beachwear right now doesn’t make anything better. Seeing other people, especially men, holding your skin like that irks him in so many ways.

“Jisung-a, we’re having too much fun here are we” the innocent boy can only smile towards his Hyung completely oblivious to the sarcasm that coated his statement. 

“Oh Hyung, annyeong!” he greeted. “Neh, I was just telling Noona about that time where we skipped and spent all day in the city” he laughed. “Pretty much risky, isn’t it Noona” the boy beamed looking down on you. You on the other hand catch a glimpse of how Taeyong was basically shaking and gawking his eyes on the hand that is around your shoulder. 

“Jisung-a,” you said sweetly, which made Taeyong even more annoyed than he already is. He narrowed his eyes and gritted his teeth and it shows with the way how his jaw clenched. “Neh?” Jisung responded, almost too endearing if you asked others' perspectives. But Taeyong’s foul mood is too palpable that you can’t help but acknowledge it. “Maybe you should find Chenle first and...” you haven’t able to finish whatever you were saying because Taeyong basically tears you off from Jisung’s arm and drag away from the shore towards one of resort’s room. 

When you’re completely away from the eyes of anyone you were surprised when Taeyong pin you harshly towards the wall, eyes were almost popping from its socket, his boba eyes which everyone adored were replaced with something predatory. 

“Were you really oblivious towards what I feel even after making it too fcking obvious or do you really just want to play all too naive and innocent? What are playing Y/N?” he said while carefully caressing your cheeks, despite the fact that he does it so gently it feels like it’s burning because the way of how he’s body is basically restricting him from losing control all at once. You can feel his breath fanning the side of your cheeks.

You gulp loudly not expecting that this is the way Taeyong would finally burst. “Or are you just nasty and enjoyed being called Noona?” he said lips almost touching yours but not enough to actually have contact. His hand slowly traveled towards your delicate neck. “I can also call you Noona you know” he said, almost like a growl. “If that’s what you want if that’s what I’ve been missing all this time, so tell me Y/N, why do you always have the knack of pissing me off through Jisung”.

You on the other hand were too lost with how close your body is with his and the fact that he’s basically manhandling you right now. You wanted to chuckle at how unreasonable he is but at the same time also too aroused to actually compose a coherent answer.

“Answer me or I will force it out of you, you minx” he tightened his grip on your neck. Part of you want to test his patience and the other just wanted to submit, you decided to choose the first one.

“Maybe you haven’t marked what yours properly” you answered hoarsely and Taeyong’s eyes darkened because of your answer. He quickly smashed his lips to yours and one thing lead to another. The last thing you know he’s already giving your neck a hickey, a big and very prominent one you can tell with the way of how hard he was sucking and biting your neck.

Before things can go too far a figure appeared in your peripheral vision which caused you to push Taeyong off of you. Taeyong on the other hand looked too perplexed but when he saw the person cause of your awestruck state, he grew smug. 

“Eww, Noona! I know you and Taeyong were now basically a thing but” Jisung exclaimed pointing at your neck looking dumbfounded, “good luck at telling Appa where does that thing came from because I’m basically not telling that my sister is doing the dirty with my leader Hyung” he said leaving the two of you. But even at the end of the hall, you can both heard him murmuring to himself how he can’t believe that his Noona is not as innocent as he thought you were. 

Meanwhile, Taeyong looks so perplexed, he just looked at you with a puzzled expression silently begging for an answer. 

“Jisung is my dongsaeng you know, I can’t believe you just got jealous of my baby brother, and the maknae of your group” you scoffed. Lightly fixing your dress. “And definitely don’t expect that of all people he would be the one to walk in on us” Taeyong on the other hand look so lost, you can see in his feature some trace of regret, humiliation, guilt but you can only smile at his dumbfound state.

“To answer your question earlier, it’s not like you don’t make things obvious, it’s just that you don’t make it vocal so it’s not like I can really say anything other than what you show” you shrugged trying to bring him out from his dazed. 

“Hello? earth to Taeyong?” he remained silent. You decide to say something to finally snapped him out of it. “Since you have already stolen a kiss from me, which is, by the way, my first kiss, and you as well basically already mark me, are finally going to ACTUALLY ask me to be your girlfriend?” still none “or should I finally take that carnival date with Yuta?” that might have done the trick because Taeyong held you by your waist with the blink of an eye. Looking at you hungrily before giving you another kiss, this time it’s sweeter and more sensual than the first time. 

“You are only mine, jagiya” he said, and you wonder how can he look so feral just a moment ago, and now he looked so ethereal and cute with his toothy smile.

Fin.

[himboarcher]

reasons i've seen folks say that grad critics hate grad:

they hate travis (in fairness, i’ve def seen some comments of people shitting on trav for the sake of shitting on trav, but it’s not super common and typically gets downvoted into oblivion on reddit.)

it's not balance / travis isn't griffin (???????)

they hate neurodivergent people (again, in fairness, i have seen a handful of comments that could come across this way! but most of the time when travis being ADHD or his NPD is brought up, it's by defenders saying that criticizing travis is ableist because he's neurodivergent or, in one particular comment, infantilizing him bc of it and literally comparing grad to putting a kid's artwork on the fridge. there were some comments early on that pointed to him being a narcissist as the reason for things people disliked about grad, but everyone seems to have realized that that's a shitty train of thought and left it behind.)

they're just toxic haters (again, there are a small handful of people like this because this is the internet, but the genuine criticism greatly outweighs their bullshit. i 100% think that the people, which is mostly just one dude who is also insufferable on reddit, who have been responding rudely to positive tweets under the episode announcements lately are out of line and need to stop. there's been an influx of that lately, presumably because people are frustrated that after over a year of grad going on, there's been no improvement to most of the major issues. that's still no excuse to be a dick to folks, though.)

vs some of the actual reasons i don't like grad:

the racism / racist tropes, and the way that they’ve straight up ignored this criticism and will likely never acknowledge it. pretty wild considering a core tenet of their brand is their willingness to acknowledge when they’ve messed up and do their best to course correct.

clumsy attempts at inclusion that are shallow and often end up being fairly offensive ("...ask me about my wheelchair," anyone?)

on a related note: i don't think that travis had bad intentions, but as an nonbinary person, it feels othering to me that travis only has enby characters give others their pronouns unprompted. i'm thinking specifically of kai here. having listened to their introduction, i don't think it's as bad or awkward as some people have said, but i can't remember travis ever having another NPC tell the PCs their pronouns, especially not a cis character. it's not a huge deal, but it's something that rubbed me the wrong way. admittedly, i don't think it would bother me so much if travis hadn't dropped the ball so much with performative inclusion in the past.

okay i'm putting the rest under a read more because even without getting into all of the problems i have with it, this got Long.

little to no player agency. player choices are ultimately meaningless and have little to no effect on the world. even when he seems to go along with a plan they come up with, it always ends with them having to go back to travis' pre-written script (see: subpoenaing the xorn, but not really because they had to go with travis' original plan of "send the xorn home through the rift".) the players repeatedly get told things about what they think or feel or what they've been doing to an unnecessary degree. fitzroy is the only one who really gets space to play and decide things for himself, and that's only because travis has decided he's the main character.

the NPCs are all too nice and willing to give the PCs anything they ask for and more, unless the PCs are trying to follow their own plan and then the NPCs are completely useless. but honestly, aside from gray, all of the NPCs are just.... nice. travis refuses to even let his antagonists be mean or cruel or even more than just slightly rude, because that'd be a bummer and we don't want that! the "twist" of gordy the lich king actually being polite and chill is not a twist at all because everyone is like that in this world. the NPCs are also wildly overpowered, but then suddenly absolutely useless when the PCs actually want their help.

too many cliffhangers that are dropped immediately at the beginning of the next episode. i feel bad for travis because so many of these cliffhangers actually set up good momentum and seemed like things were gonna get interesting, but almost every single time he just dropped them at the beginning of the next episode. like when althea showed up to interview the boys and the next episode started with travis being like "actually you went to sleep, she said she'll be back tomorrow!"

that time travis specifically said in his exposition dump that the thundermen left their horses behind because they thought the centaurs might be offended by them riding horses, only to later on rag on them for being surprised that the centaurs had horses they could ride.....

also the centaur arc in general, but i already listed racism above, so.

the way that the toxic positivity and parasocial tendencies in the mcelroy fandoms have made a large portion of the fandom take ANY criticism as a personal attack on travis and/or on themselves for enjoying something others consider bad, either morally or just quality-wise. it’s okay to admit that something you like has problematic elements or just isn’t as good as it once was. you can and should engage critically with the media you consume.

related to above: the way travis has handled genuine criticism, which is to throw public tantrums on his twitter or make weird passive aggressive tweets & ultimately ignore all the genuine criticism and advice he's been offered by claiming it's all subjective, even after he specifically asked for it and set up an email for folks to send in genuine, objective advice for him (after he threw a tantrum on twitter and replied to someone's criticism publicly, which resulted in his followers dogpiling on that person bc how dare they insult their internet best friend). while i was writing this last night, he actually announced that he’s taking a break from Twitter and acknowledged that he’s been using it as an echo chamber where he can easily get validation from folks, and honestly i’m happy for him that he’s recognized this problem and is stepping away for a while! i hope he’ll genuinely use this time to reflect on how he’s been behaving and find a more healthy way to use social media. i’m leaving this point in because i think his Twitter being such a positive echo chamber was encouraging him to do stuff like this, and him somewhat acknowledging his behavior doesn’t mean it can no longer be discussed.

rainer. extremely cool concept in theory and i was very into it until that awkward "does anyone want to ask about my wheelchair?" moment. also when travis had her use her mobility aid to RAM INTO A DOOR instead of just fucking knocking???? also all the times travis has tried to force a romantic relationship between her and fitzroy, despite fitzroy displaying no interest in her in that way. also, just to clarify: as an ace person, i don’t think this is aphobic! (and it’s kind of a stretch to call it that imo, especially since griffin never explicitly said that fitzroy's aromantic!) i just think it’s weird and awkward and a little uncomfortable for me personally, mostly because it reminds me of the times i’ve been in similar situations.

less of a problem than a lot of the other stuff and more just bad writing, but the forced emotional moments. in general, nothing in grad feels earned (why are the boys heading a war? when they have multiple actual heroes with combat experience on their side and a supposedly powerful secret organization? and the thundermen are like 21 years old max and have only had like ~10 fights in the entire campaign?) but there've been a couple times where travis has tried to force unearned emotional moments, presumably because he knows people enjoyed those with the last campaigns. but the difference is that in balance, the big emotional moments happened because they were earned. in grad, it's just travis throwing a baby pegasus at us for a few minutes and then the next time she shows up, it's supposed to be a tearful goodbye.

there are absolutely no stakes. remember when the thundermen got told that if they left, gray would kill 10 students? and then they left and came back and it turns out that what gray actually meant was, "i'll tie ten students who are mostly nameless NPCs to a tree and throw some dogs at them that you can easily stop in time, then throw a tantrum because how dare you but i'll leave before you can really do anything to hurt me lol" travis did have fitzroy's magic get taken away, but like. it didn't really do anything? also all he had to get it back was be coerced into using drugs by an authority figure and trip in the woods?

we're told that the school is weird and the hero system is corrupt, but the world of nua is still presented as more of a liberal utopia than anything? althea getting fired because of a corrupt villain is the only time we've somewhat seen corruption, but even then, she was still allowed to get (what seems to me, anyway, but admittedly i don't know for sure bc nothing about the HOG makes much sense) a fairly important job from the very people who stripped her of her hero license or whatever the fuck heroes need?

travis doesn't actually seem to understand how capitalism or bureaucracy works and just chalks up everything to "red tape." also more on the rest of the boys than him specifically, but the "let's destroy capitalism!" thing turning into just pushing some filing cabinets over................... okay.

and one last piece of extremely subjective criticism: it's just kind of.... boring. i think a lot of people, myself included, would be willing to overlook 90% of the problems with graduation if it didn't feel like such a slog to get through.

also people saying that we can't or shouldn't criticize graduation because it's "free" is absolutely absurd for several reasons. first, something being free does not make it above criticism. second, there ARE people who directly financially support the show with monthly donations. three, there's a difference between something being free and something being not for profit. podcasting is their full time job. they make their living off of money made from TAZ and MBMBAM (and probably their other shows to a lesser extent). this not a fun home game that they are graciously recording and sharing with us. it is a product they are producing that they make money off of, both from ads in the episodes and merch & books based off of these podcasts. they have marketed themselves as professionals, and both griffin and travis have been on panels where they are marketed as professional DMs and appear alongside other professional DMs (which makes it incredibly frustrating when people say that travis is just a newbie DM and we can't criticize him because of that. if he's a newbie, then he should not be taking part of panels as a professional DM where he speaks as an expert). TAZ is free in the same way that an episode of NCIS is free. i may not pay for it directly, but the creators are paid to create it and profit off of me consuming this product. so saying we should be grateful for any mcelnoise that the benevolent good boys share with us and that we're not allowed to criticize it "because it's free" is absolutely wild.