#i wasn’t all that curious bc i didn’t wanna make you uncomfortable but now i’m like !!! who are you???

[gregmarriage]

currently looking at all my moots in my notes and wondering which one of you is blue

[lemonlushff-iy]

Do you want to play a game?

You do? Good.

You know how these games work if you’ve ever seen one of Clearwillow’s...but game rules are HERE since it’s slightly different! I hope this is fun for people...that was my goal! And I hope you catch the “Easter Eggs” in it. I’m curious how many people will find them all. 

I’ll post everything once it’s done on FFN and AO3, and you can catch what I’m doing for @clearwillow‘s game early on my Patreon HERE! (It might be more smut...It might be fluff. WHO KNOWS! It will be OLR related...and it will go up as soon as it’s finished!)

Special thanks to @underwater0phelia​ for kink help and @clearwillow​ for additional edits...and the IYFF BC for brainstorming! Art by @clearwillow​ for @eringobroke​ - used and edited with permission. 

And now without further ado... The first treat (aka, the “freebie”).

Starting Fires

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters from the Inuyasha universe.

"Inuyasha, stop," Kagome giggled, trying to wriggle out of his hold as he pressed wet kisses up her neck. "I don't want to burn your bacon…"

"It's just bacon," he reasoned, his hands sliding up under her shirt. Or should he say his shirt? Fuck...there wasn't a better sight in the world than his best friend...his best girl...Kagome...Wearing his shirt in their kitchen in their house. Now that he had her again, he weren't never letting go of her. "I don't mind eating something else for breakfast."

"You will when your stomach is rumbling later," she blushed, grabbing his hands and pulling them down, his fingers grazing over the lace fabric of her panties. "Behave yourself and go grab a cup of coffee."

"I'd rather grab your—"

"—Coffee!"

She reprimanded, flipping the bacon in the pan. He placed a gentle nip to the side of her neck before moving away from her, a disappointed pout on his lips.

"Fine. But let it be known that I'm doing it under protest," he grumbled, moving to his cabinet to pull out a mug.

"Your protest has been duly noted, Sir," she teased, turning away from the stove to pick up her own cup of coffee. She brought it to her lips, sipping from it as she watched Inuyasha pour himself some. Their life together felt so surreal still. It felt strange to wake up in their house and cook them breakfast.

But it was a good kind of surreal.

The kind where she found herself pinching her arm to make sure it wasn't all some crazy dream. This was their life. And...she loved it.

"Mmm," he moaned, taking a sip from his cup. "As good as ever, Kags," he grinned toothily, and she risked entering his personal space to press another kiss to his lips.

"Glad you like it," she replied, running away from him again when he moved to squeeze her ass. She removed their bacon and eggs from the pan as a text message chimed on both of their phones, and Inuyasha raised a brow in curiosity. She watched him slide his thumb across the screen, before muttering out a low "Huh" as he read the text.

"What is it?" she asked, picking up their plates and placing them onto the island.

"See for yourself," he shrugged, placing the phone down next to her plate. "It's from Sango."

That already piqued her curiosity. Kagome picked up the phone, leaning over the countertop as she read it.

"Hey Guys!" She began aloud. "Miroku and I decided to throw a Halloween party this year. We know it's a bit last minute, but we were hoping you guys could come since you aren't heading back out to California like you thought. Let us know if you can make it! Trying to plan in terms of food. Love you!"

"Love you too," he grinned, and she couldn't stop the shy smile even if she wanted to. She didn't think she would ever get tired of hearing that again from him. The words were like a balm to her soul.

"What do you think?" Kagome asked, handing him his phone back as he began digging his fork into his eggs.

"Up to you," he shrugged. He really didn't care either way. He was just glad he didn't have to go out to California with her. Though, to tell the truth, he wouldn't have minded. They could have had a night in...just the two of them...And he was always a fan of nights in with her. But..."We can go. I know you wanna…"

It was true too. He had seen the way her eyes lit up when she was reading that message. The way she was practically bouncing on the balls of her feet. Kagome didn't want to spend the night in. She wanted to spend her first Halloween back in Montana at a party with old friends.

"But...You...Don't?"

He shrugged.

"Don't matter either way. I'm fine going. I'm fine staying home and fucking ya seven ways from Sunday."

"Yash!"

"What! It's tha truth," he replied with a smirk. "And you can't tell me ya don't like the sound of it," he continued, running his tongue over his fangs. The cute little blush he pulled from her was worth it.

"Well...How about a compromise?"

He paused, lifting his brow in curiosity.

"Go on…"

"What if we went to the party...Just for an hour or two...and then afterward we can come home and have sex? Oh! We can even wear couple's costumes again!"

The phrase couples costume made his butt clench so tight he could probably twist off a beer cap with his cheeks.

"I'll agree to go to the party...but not the couple's costume."

"But Yash," she whined, coming around the island to take his hands. "That's part of the fun…"

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"I'll wear something slutty?"

"N—" He began, ready to tell her no again when his brain processed her offer. "Keep talking."

"I'll wear something slutty and sexy?"

"...Uh-huh...And what else?"

"...And you get to take it off of me?"

He almost said yes...but he was a greedy fucker. He was probably gonna take it off of her even if she hadn't offered that.

"Do I get to do more than that?"

"You mean other than wear a matching outfit?"

"I do."

"Well," she began, tilting her head to the side and pursing her lips in thought. "I'm assuming that sex is a given…"

"But you can say it anyway, and make it interesting," he shrugged. If he was going to get roped into this...because he was going to say yes, because he loved her...then he wanted to squeeze as much as he could out of this.

"Ok...If you do it, sex is on the table...and I'll also add you picking the place and position," she decided, causing his eyes to light up.

Place and position huh?

"Well...In that case Darling, you've got yourself a deal!"

Her childlike squeal and the way she giddily clapped her hands, bouncing up and down on the balls of her feet, made him feel like he made the right decision.

"Now let's talk costumes…"

He groaned, shaking his head and digging his fork into the eggs on his plate.

Then again...Maybe not…

He let her prattle on for a while, running different ideas past him...But he knew that it ultimately wouldn't matter. He was going to give in to whatever she wanted. If she wanted him to go as a hot dog, and she was going to be a bottle of mustard? That was what was going to happen. Wasn't sure how she could make it sexy...but sure. Her call. Prince and Princess? No fighting it. Batman and Catwoman…

It had piqued his interest, but she almost instantly changed her mind. The cowl would be uncomfortable for his ears.

So, she decided on a fireman and a dalmatian. He looked over at her phone when she held up a picture of the costume she had found for him and sighed.

"That's what you want?"

It didn't look too bad. And it looked like he could maybe get away with just wearing the pants. He was going to have to be sneaky about it though...He could do just a t-shirt and those pants.

"Please?" she beseeched, batting her long lashes at him. "It will be so cute! And you'll look so good!"

He tilted his head to the side, and she chewed the inside of his lip as she watched him roll her suggestion around in his head. She really liked the fireman outfit. She thought it would be fun! And he would look good in it too...She could already picture him slowly taking off the jacket to reveal his bare torso...the suspenders holding up his pants hanging limply at the sides as he slowly peeled himself out of—

"—What are you thinking about Kagome?"

She looked up at his face and saw him looking at her, a smirk stretching his lips as he limply held the phone, leaning down across the island.

"N-nothing," she blushed, swiping out to grab the phone from him, but he pulled it away from her at the last second.

"Nu-uh. I can smell it when you're lying…and I can smell it when you're—"

"—NOTHING!"

She insisted, grabbing the phone from him this time, and his grin turned predatory.

"Ain't nothing, or you wouldn't be smelling like that," he countered cheekily before his gaze began to darken. "Ya know...You don't have to keep that bottled up…"

"Inuyasha," she warned as he straightened, running his carefully filed and declawed fingers along the island countertop as he slowly came around to her side.

He was ignoring her, however.

"Kagome," he replied, closing in on her in just a few short strides. "Were you thinking about me in that fireman outfit?"

Sometimes she swore he could read her mind.

"N-no…"

"Liar," he purred, placing his hands onto the granite top on either side of her hips. He had effectively trapped her...and he was looking at her like prey.

It made her swallow because her mouth was suddenly dry. And made her lower abdomen heat. The intensity and desire in his gaze...the slight glint of fang in the morning light…

Fucking hell...She wanted to be his prey. Wanted to be captured and eaten and...eaten…

He inhaled deeply, his eyes rolling to the back of his head as he lowly moaned, "Fuck Kags…"

"W-what," she swallowed, and his smirk widened into a fangy grin before his lips crashed into hers.

AN:

I WILL ONLY DO THIS WALL OF TAGS ONCE! All future treats will be completely hidden under cuts so I don’t spam everyone’s timeline with in your face kink!

@clearwillow, @keichanz, @dangerouspompadour, @nartista, @kaze-ranna, @superpixie42, @sticky-llama-perfection, @pinkpigeonstudio, @mcornilliac, @itzatakahashi, @zelink-inukag, @juliatheanimelover7, @i-dream-of-soup, @smmahamazing, @the-lucky-ones311, @cyncyn981, @animemomma96, @ayari17, @underwater0phelia, @sailorbabydoll92, @l-taisho29, @animelove1313, @littlemissinukag​, @gofoulpuppycollector, @umacaking, @chanin29​,  @willowandfog​, @lebiishoujo​, @theinuyashareader​, @bluejay785​, @irrationalandimpossible​, @cstorm86​, @ruddcatha​, @desiree239​, @littledaisy91​, @liz8080​, @cannibalsforbreakfast​, @horriblehowl​, @arcprz​, @daisy-st-pati3nce​, @senneth-pendra​, @nsr0716​, @eringobroke​, @kagometaishostory​, @thisshipisbananahs​, @sunsetskys​, @ajoy3fanfics​, @sangoslays​, @v0dka-cat​, @cloudsz04​, @lavendertwilight89​, @yurawiththegoodhair​, @saturnsilence​, @lavaffair​, @blairex​, @fawn-eyed-girl​, @fandomobsessions016​, @neutronstarchild​, @preciouslyours​, @kalsies​, @shnuggletea​, @ladyphoenix0711​, @littlestuffstohide​

See you at 500 notes!!

[lunaekalenda]

Hi! I'm not sure if your requests are open, but if they are, can I request a Jean x reader angst where they get into an argument and he says something SUPER uncalled for? And reader's all like "wow ok" and walks away bc they don't wanna say anything uncalled for either, but Jean thinks that means reader is breaking up with him? So the next day he does a bunch of cheesy things like buys them breakfast, flowers, writes a tone of love notes, etc?

If your requests aren't open then I understand! And have an AMAZING rest of your day hehe ❤

they are, no worries! i hope you like it! <3

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jean x reader

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“You should talk with him...” Jean turns around. His eyes are darker than ever. He’s angry.

“Mind your own business.” he says. You look at him, not flinching even a bit, even knowing you want to cry. His honey color eyes are still fixed on yours, and his breath goes fast. He’s nervous.

“Oh, fine.” you say, taking your jacket and leaving, slamming the door.

“Y/N, wait.” he says, but you’re opening the main door, leaving your shared apartment. He takes his head between his hands, running his hands over his hair. “Fuck.” that’s the only thing that leaves his mouth while he feels how the smell of your cologne disappears quietly. He messed it up. He said something he doesn’t thing, in the heat of the moment, and now you don’t want to see him again. That’s what he thinks. That you left him forever.

You didn’t, though. You just want to have fresh air, to think better about what he said. He was angry, you can understand that. But he wasn’t angry at you, then why pay it with you? You sigh. Jean isn’t like that. He’s always loving, caring and sweet, even when he had a bad day. He always has a smile for you. That’s why you’re not angry at him. You know he has just a complicated day. But you also want him to know that he shouldn’t pay it with you. 

Later that night, when you arrive home, Jean is sleeping on the kitchen table. He has all the papers around and a glass of wine half-empty. You shake his shoulder quietly.

“Jean. Go to bed.” you whisper. He opens an eye a little and sees you.

“You’re home.” he says. But, after all, you just broke up with him, didn’t you? His brain knows you’re only there because you didn’t have enough time to search a place to sleep today. Also, all your things are still here. He moans quietly, getting up, his back hurting because of the bad position his body had. He walks to the bed, hearing your cute little steps behind him. He always liked how they sound. Maybe this is the last time he will hear them. He enters his side of the bed. He can’t lose you. He would make you stay.

“Good night, Jean.” You say, while you enter the other side, giving him your back. He sighs.

“Good night, y/n.”

Next morning, Jean finds himself tangled with you. He smiles. How can your bodies know the other that well? They arranged themselves on their sleep. He takes his arm carefully far from your waist and gets up quietly. He goes straight to the kitchen after changing his clothes. He decided to make it up to you, so he searches the recipe of the fluffy pancakes his mum sent to him not a while ago. Putting his earbuds on, he starts to cook.

You wake up feeling Jean’s place on bed cold, a pleasant smell coming from the stairs. You look at the clock. It’s saturday. Jean doesn’t work today. Then, why is he awake? You stretch yourself in bed and, under your pillow, you find a paper. You read it.

“Good morning. Please, come to the living room once you’re awake. I love you.”

Jean’s handwriting signs the note. Is now he leaving romantic notes for you? You change into your daily clothes and go down stairs, heading to the living room, but you’re curious. Opening the kitchen door quietly, you find your boyfriend. He’s dancing quietly to the music he’s listening, a plate full of pancakes in the side of the table, and he’s turning another pancake with the spatula. You rest your body against the frame of the door, silently enjoying it. He has cut also some fruits, put a huge amount of whipped cream on the side of the plate and made some fruit yoghurt as well. He is making such an effort. 

He does this things sometimes, really elaborated and cute breakfast for you two on special dates as your birthday or anniversary, But today isn’t a special day. He turns around and sees you. A shy smile crosses his lips and you enter the kitchen, sitting on a chair.

“Good morning, Jean.” you say. He takes off his earbuds.

“Good morning, babe.” he answers. He then visualices what he said. Did he made you uncomfortable saying that? He’s so used to call you “babe” he didn’t even realize he has done it. He looks sneaky at you. You’re adding chocolate powder to your glass of milk quietly. It doesn’t look like it affected you.

“I... I made breakfast.” he says. His voice sounds shy for some reason. You tell him to sit on the chair next to yours and he takes the pancake plate. The strawberries are cut on heart shape.

“Jean, these are so cute!” you say, taking one. You put it on top of the whipped cream, eating it after that. Jean smiles.

“You have cream on your mouth.” You quickly wipe it with a napkin. In any other day, he would lean closer and take it off your mouth himself. But he wants to make things well, he wants you to forgive him. You also missed that kiss. He cleans his throat and you cut a part of a pancake, tasting it. He looks at your reaction.

“They are really good, baby, goddess” you say. He takes your hand and you look at him. He went from happy to serious in a second. 

“Babe I’m sorry. You didn’t deserve how I treated you yesterday. Please, fogive me. I’m so sorry, I don’t want to lose you. Please.” He takes your hand to his lips. “I left early in the morning. I also....” the door bell rings. He goes quickly to the door, coming back with a huge lilac bouquet. “I don’t want to be without you. It was my fault and I don’t want to lose you because of something I said without thinking.” he says. He gives the bouquet to you. It has a little note pined to it. You take it.

“I love you.” it what it says. Just three words that make your spine tremble. He takes your hands again, you can see his pain on his eyes.

“Please, come back to me.” You look at him. Back? You put the lilacs on a near empty vase. 

“Back? How back, baby?” you ask. He looks at you.

“We broke up yesterday. You left me, didn’t you?” You can almost hear his quiet and starting sobs. You laugh a little, caressing his cheeks.

“I didn’t break up with you, silly.” you say. “I just left because it hurt me, but I was planning to come back when I got calm. And I did, didn’t I?” the last phrase is almost whispered against his mouth. He takes your chin, his eyes scanning yours so close. You can even see the different tones of brown on his irises. 

“Sorry for hurting you. I was angry to myself and I said that. You didn’t deserve it. Sorry.”

You caress his cheek again. You smile quietly.

“Accepted apologizes.” you say. 

“Then, are we okay?” he asks. You nod twice, so slowly, that his lips brush against yours sweetly when he gets closer.

[ginnyweasely]

ONLY GOOD THING [DRACO MALFOY X READER]

pairing: draco malfoy x reader (fem!) warnings: swearing, drinking (sort of), a bit angsty!!, but MOSTLY FLUFF!!, draco is a bit ooc but that’s how i like it bb! summary: draco seems to be super curious of the reader who has trust issues and has a hard time opening up. word count: 7.3k+

A/N: I know this is very loong but bare with me bc i sort of kinda love this one!! This is heavily inspired by one of my own very old imagine but i changed up many stuff,  ALSO!! i’m gonna start making my own gifs for my writings so if you do take them PLEASE please do not claim it as your own and feel free to give credit! happy reading :) also remember feedbacks are alwayss welcomed with luv and hugs!!

MASTERLIST   TAGLIST

Y/N groaned at the sound of her stupid alarm clock, her hand sluggishly and lazily trying to stop the stupid machine from making anymore loud noises, failing so, she groaned loudly as she opened one eye to stare at the clock, spotting the stopping button and pressing it more like crushing it. 

She groaned as she got out of her bed, realizing she had much time left before she actually had  to go to class, causing a feel of calmness in her. She liked being right on time or just being ready way head of time, otherwise being late made the girl filled with anxiety.

Sighing, she messily spread her bedsheet on her bed, not caring enough nor having the enough energy in her to make her bed cleanly.

She looked at her school clothes that were hung by the door, all ready for her to just slip on to her body.

Her head popped around the room as she searched for her roommates, a breath of relief left her mouth as she realized they were nowhere to be seen, she found it better to be just be on her own, getting ready while people were around made her feel weird and uncomfortable.

She got her clothes and slipped into her clothes quickly, admiring herself in the mirror as she put on her robe, her outfit now matching. She brushed her hair to make it look of a messy wave, quite liking having her hair like that, which made her feel a lot more confident.

Y/N was rather a quiet girl who kept most thing to herself, by quiet it’s not as if she was shy or self-conscious, she just liked being alone, didn’t trust people enough, in fact she knew nothing about anyone, as no one knew anything about her.

She liked keeping things that way, as it was easier for her to communicate with people, she was not anyone’s best friend, she was simply friends with everyone, she hung out with people from her house, maybe sometimes with a few of Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws too, but mainly from Gryffindor, and she didn’t know why but she didn’t know anyone from Slytherin.

Mainly because she didn’t care to know, Slytherins always seemed too much for her, she barely knew anything about the students at Hogwarts, soon realizing that she preferred it that way, hell she barely knew anything about the “friends” she hung out with, Ron,Hermione and Harry.

She knew she didn’t used to be like this, but with each time more and more people seemed to be breaking her trust, the girl decided that she was better off to keep her things to herself.

She was more than happy to just be with herself, she liked being that way, the only one who couldn’t hurt her was herself, sure she felt lonely at times, but she liked it, she’d rather be lonely than be hurt.

Y/N looked at herself in the mirror, admiring her face, she sighed softly as she noticed how pale she had been looking, so she softly pinched her cheeks to rise some color into them, happy with the results she smiled to herself in the mirror.

She slowly got up as she quickly got her books, stuffing them into her bag, and sluggishly putting it around her shoulders and getting out of her dorm.

She was walking down the Hogwarts corridors, trying to make her way into the Transfiguration class, walking through the empty corridors gave her joy, she finally got where the Transfiguration class normally was, and entered the room but to her surprise the room looked a bit different, it wasn’t the transfiguration class. It was something else.

Confused and distracted she headed to the exit and as she did so, her body collided with a boy’s, books falling to the ground as the weak girl fell from a little bump.

Y/N groaned as her bum hit the ground and she didn’t know if her head or her bum hurted more. “Watch where you’re going!” The boy snarled as she chuckled in distaste.

“Me? Your stupid big head almost destroyed mine!” She protested against him as she rubbed her head. He scoffed at her response but as he looked around the empty classroom he had the same question in his mind as hers.

“Where is everyone?” The platinum headed boy turned his head to her as she was trying to fix her skirt. “That’s my question as well. Isn’t this the transfiguration class?” She said as confused as the platinum headed boy.

“Did they like move classes?” Y/N questioned as Draco shrugged he was as clueless as she was.

Y/N was about to open her mouth but was interrupted as someone else came into the class, looking at both of them weirdly as Y/N sighed “Let me guess, you’re here for the Transfiguration room, too?” She didn’t mean to sound annoyed but clearly to the girls response she was.

“Uh no? This is Defense Against The Dark Arts, Transfiguration moved next to the Potions yesterday, Dumbledore announced it at dinner.”

A simple ohh escaped from the both clueless Draco and Y/N’s mouths as they slowly exited the room, walking towards to the new room, which made Y/N groan because it was all the way over to the end of the castle, causing her to get anxious about being late.

Being so into her thoughts she totally forgot the boy that was walking next to her, she realized they had been awkwardly walking in silence, Y/N sighed as she hated situations like this and was mentally cursing until her thoughts were interrupted with Draco’s voice.

“What’s your name?” He asked as he tried to keep up to her fast walking pace, “I’m Y/N, Y/L/N.” she replied softly, then added “And you are?” The boy chuckled at the question as Y/N stared at him in confusion.

“You don’t know who I am?” He questioned shocked as he realized she was serious, “Was I supposed to know?” Y/N asked as sarcasm was dripping from her mouth.

“Well, of course. I’m Draco Malfoy, son of Lucious Malfoy and Narcissa Malfoy, the most respectable wizards in the wizard history.” Draco said proudly as Y/N just looked at him awkwardly.

“Uhm.. okay?” She replied in an uninterested voice which the boy took offense to and had a hard time not believing in how she didn’t have a clue of who he was.

Frustrated he spoke up again, “If you must know they call me the Slytherin Prince!” He added in order to impress her but in return she just cackled at the name, and even though she tried her best to brush off her cackle it just seemed to anger the boy.

“What’s so fucking funny!” He grunted, as the girl opened her mouth to speak “It’s just you Slytherins have so much confident in yourselves, and it makes you guys extremely cocky, it’s both a good and a bad thing, really.” She smiled and in return Draco smiled back.

“So I take it you’re a Gryffindor?” She nodded “How did you know?”    “Well, you stood up for me, that’s courage and well, your robe..” He pointed and she chuckled at her stupidity.

“Right..” She said still walking towards the corridors, but now they were enjoying their conversation so her pace was much more slower. “You could have been a great Slytherin with that sarcasm though..” She chuckled as she brushed off his comment.  

Y/N was about to make a joke about his “Slytherin Prince” title but she froze as her eyes met up with the light brown eyes of the guy in front of him, she mentally cursed herself, wanting nothing more than just to disappear at that moment.

Draco quickly noticed the change in her and was baffled at first, but he slowly eyed her movements and looked up, seeing the infamous “Golden Boy” of Hogwarts in front of him. Cedric Diggory was standing there as Y/N stood still.

He scoffed at the sight of him, his attention slowly turned back to Y/N who seemed to be stunned by Cedric, as the boy curiously wanted to know why the “Golden Boy” had such an effect on her.

Cedric smiled at Y/N softly as Draco saw her give him the weakest smile ever, as her face seemed to falling apart, her pace quickened by the sight.

“What was that?” Draco questioned curiously as a hint of worriedness could be heard in his tone. “Nothing, let’s just go to class.” Y/N said hurriedly as she brushed him off and their quickened pace arrived them quickly to the class,

“Uhh, do you wanna sit with me?” Draco murmured as he tried to sound confident but nervousness could be read from the boy’s face, “Yeah, sure!” Y/N replied rather quickly, washing away Draco’s worries as she smiled at him and they took their places in the class.

Draco seemed to be confused.. by many things, his mind quickly started to wander off. First of all, why was he sitting with a Gryffindor, that he specifically asked for?

Second of all why did Y/N froze at the sight of Cedric and lastly but the most important, why did he actually like spending time with Y/N? His mind went fuzzy with the stupid questions the entire class, trying his best to focus but unable to. Then he did the worst possible thing he could do, he gently turned  his head around to look at Y/N.

His distracted mind was now a mess, staring at the pretty girl next to him made him feel fucked up in his stomach, he closely eyed her movements, but sooner or later realized that staring this much at her could draw her attention so he tried his best to observe her by the corner of his eye.

He wanted to study her fully, he wanted answers to the questions in his mind, he certainly liked that she didn’t know about him, it was a greater change that he could finally meet with someone unaware of his reputation, because people either hated him for it or loved him for it, there was no in between.

Y/N didn’t seem to be the sort of person that cared a lot of what people were doing, at least that’s what Draco thought as the girl had no clue he even was. To him she seemed like a pretty normal person that stayed out of people’s business.

So the question of why she of all people would have a problem with someone like Diggory was a whole puzzle for him to figure out, meanwhile Y/N was lost in her own thoughts, trying to get the stupid Diggory boy out of his mind, feeling ever so stupid for even thinking about him.

Time passed as the pair sitting together were both in their own thoughts, minds fuzzy with questions, which caused the class to end abruptly.

A sigh of relief leaving Y/N’s mouth as it did so, causing her to act quick and packing her books even faster, getting up as soon as she got ready and muttering out a quick Bye! to Draco and quite literally vanishing.

Draco’s attempt at acting quick and trying to keep up with the girl simply failed as the girl was nowhere to be seen, causing an annoyed sigh come out of Draco’s lips because of her unreasonable stand off-ish personality, the hopes about hanging out with Y/N and maybe even being friends with her were instantly crushed.

Draco clearly needed a friend like her. But it seemed Y/N’s mind was more busy with other things. Her mind was fumbled in other classes too, not to put all the blame on the Diggory boy, she was just a distracted, messy girl is all.. She would write everything down and take notes of everything, but she couldn’t listen to the classes, her mind would be all off.

She got out of her classes and went to supper, her eyes searching for Hermione as she tended to sit with them on lunch, even though lately she felt weird sitting with them since their relationships where causing drama.

It was pretty messy, but all too simple in Y/N’s mind. It seemed that Harry was into Ginny, and Ginny was into Harry but they both didn’t know, and on the other hand Ron and Hermione were into each other but they were both dating other people, the whole drama thing was nice to watch from outside but Y/N didn’t want to get involved, she didn’t like being in people’s business, so she tried her best to stay away, but still sitting with them tended to create some awkward moments.

To be perfectly honest, she didn’t really care, she never was the person that was full of emotions and could open up easily, but after Diggory, she became more and more secretive,  more stand off-ish.

She felt emptier inside, she was less focused and more all over the place, even though it seemed they weren’t best of best friends, even the Golden Trio took notice of Y/N’s changed actions, they even tried to help her once or twice, but Y/N made it look like she was super strong and didn’t need anyone, that part wasn’t really true, but Y/N always hated seeming fragile or weak so they dropped it, leaving the girl alone as she liked it.

She didn’t like opening up to everyone. She couldn’t blame all of it on Diggory either, nor Potter for setting them up, she was also one to blame, she should’ve distanced herself from him, she should have known better but she just didn’t.

When she met Diggory, he wasn’t the “Golden Boy” of Hogwarts, he was just a kind lovely kid who had taken an interest in Y/N, and of course Y/N was stunned by the boy, he was gorgeous, kind and was overall lovely... or that’s what she perceived him as…

Their relationship wouldn’t exactly count as perfect, she could very well admit that, but she always thought they connected on a level that she felt she had never connected with anyone, and she truly cared for the boy and wanted to believe he felt the same for her, it was a huge disappointment to discover that her feelings were not mutual.  

Their relationship wasn’t as public as Y/N thought, a few of their friends knew, rest of the school didn’t care much about it, she never realized not being too much in public with him would be the cause of their break up. There wasn’t a particular problem in their relationship it was all sweet and lovely until the Triwizard tournament, Y/N never thought that Cedric joining the tournament would change him, she never thought that it would end their relationship, but it fucking did.

It all happened when the arguments started, when Cedric was becoming too cocky because of his “Golden Boy” title, he would constantly have girls throwing themselves at him left and right, and he would never do enough for Y/N to feel comfortable when those girls were all over him, making Y/N burst into tears as soon as she was left alone.

Too much tears shredded for a boy who didn’t deserved them. Sooner or later Y/N did suspect somethings about the boy and all the girls around him but she never wanted to believe or egg on her suspicions, she knew she was fooling herself but she was trying her best to not get hurt even more, but boy did that fail miserably.

It happened on the second task, she remembered the moment so vividly. Y/N was on her way to the second task, to support Cedric, she slowly took a place as she stood there cheering for his boyfriend.

Feeling an enormous joy filling her entire heart, only then for her heart to be crushed miserably in a matter of seconds. Y/N’s huge smile slowly faded as it took the form of a frown, her lips now formed in a shut line.

Tears threatened to leave her eyes at the sight in front of her, the realization of what the task was about and who Cedric was with hit her later than she ever realized.

The task was about them saving someone they cared about, and Cedric got out of the water with Cho, whom Y/N heard rumors about that Cho and Cedric hooked up a week ago, a rumor that Y/N now had no heart to ignore.

A soft sob escaped Y/N’s lips that day as she exited the arena, rushing over to her dorm as quickly as possible, she didn’t know whether to be mad at Cedric or herself for being this fucking gullible.

Soon enough though, when all the tasks were over, Y/N broke up with Cedric in the coldest way possible. She thought hiding her feelings from him would make her feel stronger, but it didn’t, she cried herself to sleep that night, and maybe even more nights following that night.

Y/N couldn’t believe she was fooled by his charm, she felt stupid. She hated Cedric because of that, and because of the fact that just today the arse smiled at her in the hallway, as if nothing had happened between them, as if he was smiling at her out of pity, she hated it.

And even more so she hated the fact that she returned it, she mentally cursed herself and groaned at her own actions as they replayed in her head.

She was snapped back to her senses when her horrible memory flashback was over, and her attention was back to the Gryffindor’s chatting at the table, she tried to join in once or twice but failed to look interested, she took one more bite of her food and excused herself, to get some fresh air and be alone with her thoughts, and her mind.

She got out of her chair and collected her books, slowly walking towards to the entrance of the castle, she quickly hurried over to a quiet place as she took a place on the grass her slowly laying out her books on the ground, as she picked one of the books to read it.

Her hands slowly gazed over the book as she started reading it quickly, wanting to off her mind. Y/N’s focus was fully on her book and was devouring the pages quickly, but a nudge on her shoulder startled her as a small squeak came out from her mouth.

“Blimey! Relax Y/L/N! It’s just me!” Draco said chuckling at the girls reaction, as Y/N softly gasped at him and playfully hit him in the arm with her book chuckling “I almost died you arse!”

He smiled as he kneeled down next to her, tilting his head so he could see what she was reading, “What in Merlin’s beard is that?” Draco asked confused.

“It’s a muggles mystery book, you git!” Y/N said smiling. Draco made a nauseous face. “Oh come on! Just read it and you’ll love it! This is the second part of the book series, I actually have the first part in hand, and you can read it and we can discuss!” She gushed as her hand reach out to her stack of books handing it out to Draco.

Draco would never admit this out loud but he found your gushing over a stupid muggle book so cute that he realized he could not refuse.

He groaned slowly “Fine, but in one condition!” he smirked “And what is that?” Y/N asked confused her eyebrows furrowed softly, he did his best to not find the pretty girl in front of her cute at all times but she made it impossible.

“You have to go to Hogsmeade with me!” Draco exclaimed as Y/N was even more confused now, not expecting an offer like this from the grey-eyed boy, she was silent for a second as that made Draco almost die from embarrassment, but seconds after she washed away Draco’s embarrassment as she happily agreed.

They spent the next day with each other, both didn’t know what the day was supposed to be like was it a date? Or just as friends?

It seemed though that Draco wanted it to be a date, and maybe even Y/N did too, but she didn’t know if she was ready for a relationship, she made a deal with herself, more like a promise, a promise that she wouldn’t date guys until she was sure of them, and it had to be nice guys, like the nicest of nice guys, that had no bad intention with her, just overall really great guys.

She didn’t know much about Draco, he seemed nice and he was quite gorgeous, but in order to trust him for even a little ounce, she needed to be sure he was a nice guy. She still seemed to be pretty scared about trusting anyone, she never thought about opening up to anyone ever again, and just the thought of it scared her.

They spend the entire day together, Y/N was surprised she could finally be close to someone, at least in a friendly way, of course there was some flirting going on because Draco did not stop complimenting her the whole day, making heat rise up to Y/N’s already rosy cheeks each time he did so, giggling like a flirty girl at his stupid jokes, Draco took her out to get some deserts as the two chatted up.

Making Y/N feel extremely comfortable around him while Draco felt so happy to be in the girl’s presence, even feeling comfortable enough with her that he opened up to her a bit about his life.

As Y/N listened to him cautiously and attentively while supporting him graciously, Draco felt extremely grateful for her, but he wanted her to feel the same, feel the same comfortableness he felt, so she would be more open with him.

It seemed impossible, he wanted to know about the “Diggory” incident, but also was scared that she would either get mad at him or she would brush it off and not hang out with him again, and he didn’t want that at all, he just wanted to get to know her.

The whole friendship/flirty relationship between Draco and Y/N continued for weeks as they enjoyed each others company more than ever, he liked having her around and so did she, giggles would always fill the room the pair was in, they were always complimenting and having fun with each other, it seemed that everyone else noticed them hanging out, even her friends.

So when she went to lunch one day and sat down, her friends looked at her as if they were about to have an intervention with her any moment, she felt as though she was pitied, “What?” She asked softly as she took a piece of her bread, chewing and then swallowing it happily.

“Y/N uhmm.. we noticed you hanging around with..” Hermione started nervously. “Draco.��� Harry finished her sentence abruptly. “Soo..?” Y/N asked confused but wanting to know more, “He’s not a good guy Y/N.”  Harry announced as Y/N’s smile was now met with a frown.

Anyone could tell that her entire face fell at the information, but she wanted to know more. “He literally fucked all the girls in Slytherin and left them, he uses girls...” She furrowed eyebrows confused and her frown intensified as her eyes were filled with a dash of anger.

“Why the fuck should I care? I’m not his girlfriend.” Y/N snapped without meaning to as Harry and Hermione stared at the girl with guilt visible in their eyes.

Y/N sighed softly as she quickly muttered out a simple apology her heart breaking at the information, she slowly nodded for them to continue.

“He also is a bully.. well he was.. he bullied almost entirely everyone at one point Hermione too..” Y/N’s face was scrunched up with disgust as she gasped at the information, she looked down in disappointment as Harry continued.

“Look we just don’t want Cedric Diggory 2.0 to-” Just as those words left Harry’s mouth, Y/N’s disgusted face was now filled with anger and it was aimed at Potter.

“Don’t Potter, don’t fucking go there..” she said slowly as a tip of annoyance and anger could be heard in her voice.

“Look… I’m sorry but we are just saying watch out and be careful okay? Malfoy is bad news. We just don’t wanna see you hurt.” Y/N just nodded slowly as she sighed.

“It’s fine, I’m.. I’m sorry for snapping it’s just uhh.. didn’t expect this, but thank your for informing me, I’ll take care of it, don’t worry.”

She said as she got out of her seat in anger, quickly grabbing her books, she started walking around as her eyes were vigorously searching for the particular Platinum Headed, grey eyed “Slytherin Prince.”

When Y/N got out of the Great Hall and started wandering out in the corridors, she finally spotted him and her eyes finally landed on the boy fully, who was chatting with his friends, and as he turned around he saw Y/N and smiled but his smile was quickly erased after he saw her disappointed expression.

His eyebrows arched up in confusion as  he slowly watched her storming over to him, “Can I talk to you?” Y/N said as her voice sounded firm as ever making Draco’s entire face wash with worry.

“What’s wrong?” Draco asked with a hint of worriedness in his voice. “I heard some things about you, Malfoy.”  Y/N said abruptly as she crossed her arms against her chest. “What things are you talking about, princess?” He said in a gentle voice concerned, “About you fucking every girl you see and leaving them? Using them and throwing them away as If they were fucking garbage?” Y/N scowled, making Draco taken a back little.

“So?” Draco said as Y/N could notice the change in his tone and expression. “So?” Y/N mimicked him as she chuckled sarcastically. “Is it true?” She questioned the boy, he nodded firmly, “Is it also true you bullied people?” He nodded again as she chuckled bitterly annoyed.

“Why do you even fucking care Y/N? It’s not like we’re fucking dating!” Draco now snarled at her out of anger.

Y/N shook her head as she chuckled bitterly, “I fucking care Draco, because you’re not a nice person! You’re not a nice guy! I don’t want to hang out with bad guys! I don’t want to be friends with bad guys!” She bitterly scoffed.

“And you know what the worst thing was? I actually thought you were a nice guy, I genuinely thought you were someone I could finally hang out with, share some stuff with, I thought you were different then all the stupid boys in the Hogwarts, but boy was I wrong.. you’re just like every other guy on Hogwarts.”

She added as she looked into his big grey eyes that were now washed over with sadness, as hers were filled with rage and sadness at the same time, Draco wanted to open his mouth to say something, anything, but no words came out as Y/N’s disappointed look in him was an image that was never going to leave his mind.

She scoffed as she quickly turned around, leaving the boy there all alone.

Draco never seemed to understand her, he thought of her as a very complicated person, mainly because he didn’t know too much about her, perhaps this “nice guy” thing was about Diggory. He wanted to uncomplicate her, get to know her, he seemed to be absolutely fascinated by the girl, she seemed to challenge him in ways he never was challenged, she didn’t know what his reputation was like, well until now…

He really seemed to have taking a liking to the girl, but it seemed that he ruined everything because of his stupid stubborn and angry self, and well partly because of his stupid past, too.

He had lost her, just like that. If he had maybe given her a some sort of explanation, maybe she would have understood, and he wouldn’t be feeling like he was sick to his stomach at the very moment.

Y/N was very understanding and a really great listener. But Draco didn’t have the guts and had too much of a pride to do something about her.

He wasn’t the person she perceived him as, yes he bullied people and he got with girls just for sexual activities, but it was before it was just in the past. He simply wasn’t like that anymore, it was just his act.

And it was not who he was anymore, he just wished instead of being stubborn with her, he would have just apologized and explained but he was too much of an arse to actually do that.

He went back to his common room as so did Y/N going to the Gryffindor common room, days went without neither talking to each other, they both felt empty, and they clearly craved each other very deeply.

The realization hit Draco that he was being extremely stupid, and Y/N just missed being with him, hanging out with him.

     ᠃ ⚘᠂ ⚘ ˚ ⚘ ᠂ ⚘ ᠃                    ᠃ ⚘᠂ ⚘ ˚ ⚘ ᠂ ⚘ ᠃                   ᠃ ⚘᠂ ⚘ ˚ ⚘ ᠂ ⚘ ᠃      

It was a Friday morning as Y/N and Hermione got out of their class, Hermione was trying to force Y/N to a Ravenclaw party at the room of requirement, but Y/N was not having it, afraid he might see Cedric and Cho or maybe just Draco. But Hermione wasn’t letting go of it, forcing Y/N to say yes.

Eventually Hermione finally got a muttered out “Fine!” From Y/N and she got all excited, throwing her hands up in air as if she just won something and then kissing Y/N on the cheek, surprising Y/N as she did so, and then happily leaving to go to class as she finally achieved what she wanted.

Y/N huffed at the girl as she slowly walked down the corridor to go to her own class, her hand was securely wrapped around her books as she was walking her attention still on the floor as she did so.

Footsteps could be heard from the opposite side which caused Y/N’s head to pop up immediately, her eyes softly met with Draco’s grey eyes as he is walking towards her, she simply froze for a second as she didn’t know what to do.

Y/N soon enough kept her walking pace as she was trying her best to avoid him, she slowly felt him coming towards her and she mentally cursed herself for taking this way to her class.

Slowly but surely he made his way over to her, his hand falling heavy on her shoulders as he lightly pushed her against the nearest wall, causing Y/N to look up at him stunned as she was surprised by Draco’s sudden movements. A dash of glimmer was seen in his eyes, as Y/N just couldn’t bare to open her mouth to say anything.

“Are you going to the party?” Draco’s firm voice rings through her ears as his grip on her shoulders loosen up and gets closer to her, Y/N’s skin burning with tingles just as where Draco touched her.

Suddenly feeling a sort of pit in her stomach, filled with nervousness, she still managed to open her mouth to speak. “I.. What?” Y/N asks in a soft, shaky voice.

Draco’s eyes glimmer at the gentle girl in front of him once again, he softly clears his throat as he slowly lets go of his grip and slowly backs away from the girl.

Y/N’s mind is fuzzy at his movements and her brows furrow in confusion “Why do you care?” Y/N replied coldly, now feeling less stunned and more towards angry.

“Are you going to the stupid fucking party, Y/N?” Draco repeats his question more firmly as Y/N nods slowly, “Good, see you then.” Draco murmurs rigidly as Y/N takes a deep breath and rolls her eyes at him.

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The audacity of that boy had Y/N raging, her mind was racing about him as she was in her dorm trying to pick an outfit for the party, she knew she had to look her hottest tonight, so she picked out her red dress that she was sure of that would leave Draco with his mouth open, she applied some make up on her face too, enough to go with her red dress.

Y/N also helped Hermione too as she helped pick her a gorgeous dress and did her make up in a way that she probably otherwise would never do.

The two of them took a look at themselves at the mirror one last time as the girls couldn’t stop complimenting each other, Hermione thanked Y/N gently as the two finally head off to the party.

The dress Y/N wore was complimenting her body in every way possible and displaying her body for everyone to see, it looked absolutely gorgeous on her body.

As they arrived to the room of requirement, Y/N felt nauseous to see Draco and Cedric, but tried her best to shake it out of her mind, when they entered the room of requirement, Y/N still felt absolutely sick to her stomach, while Hermione was genuinely enjoying the attention from every guy and girl around them.

Y/N slowly took notice as a smirk played onto her lips as she turned to Hermione “See!” She giggled as Hermione wowed. Y/N immediately went to the drink stand, because she knew she couldn’t make it through the night if she was sober. She got herself some disgusting alcoholic liquid and downed it quickly.

“Hey Y/N” a voice caught her attention as she turned around smiling and she greeted the boy happily.

“Heyy Neville!” Y/N said kindly as Neville eyed her up and down “You look amazing! Super pretty and gorgeouss.” She giggled at the boy’s slurred words as it seemed that he had a bit much to drink.

“You wanna dance?” Neville asked sloppily as Y/N chuckled, nodding. Just as they were about to go to the dance floor, an angry voice interrupted the two.

“You have 5 fucking seconds to get the fuck away from her.” Draco basically growled as Y/N’s attention turned to him as she muttered out a simple “Fuck.” “But she just agreed to- ” Neville opened his mouth to speak but he was interrupted again by a jealous Draco.

“If you don’t fucking leave her right this second, I’m gonna hex the fuck out of you!” Draco almost yelled as his eyes were now filled with rage and jealousy, as he caused Neville to walk away quickly, “Sorry!” Y/N yelled out at the boy sympathetically as she angrily turned around to Draco.

“What the fuck is your problem?” Y/N scowled. “Me? You should see yourself, why the fuck were you flirting with that git?” Draco questioned angrily as jealousy was dripping from his mouth. “It’s not like we’re dating so why the fuck do you care, huh?” She mimicked the boy’s words as she chuckled bitterly.

Y/N was about to continue but was interrupted by someone bumping into her, “Watch where you’re fucking goi-” she stopped mid sentence as she saw Cedric, as Cho was stuck next to his side, his hand stuck on to her waist as if it was glued.

Y/N’s eyes widened quickly as she immediately stopped herself from saying anything else and simply walked away, Malfoy was bewildered again as he just followed behind her, calling out for her name as he picked up his pace, but it just caused for her to run faster away.

She ended up going to the Astronomy Tower, in which Draco was right behind her, she turned her back to him as choked out sobs were slowly escaping from her mouth.

Draco’s confusedness was now washed away with worry, Y/N didn’t seem to care that Draco was right there, as if she was comfortable enough around him, it brought some warmth to Draco but he still couldn’t handle seeing Y/N like this.

He could feel his entire body fill up with rage and also worriedness, because somehow and for whatever reason the stupid git Diggory was making you cry, and a little pissed because Neville was flirting with you.

Draco gently approached her as if he was scared to hurt the fragile girl in front of him.

“Y/N, love please talk to me..” Draco started softly as Y/N’s choked sobs were now mixed with her softly breathing, Draco took a. deep breath as he got closer to the girl. “Look princess, I’m here for you okay?” Draco said softly again as Y/N slowly tried to wipe her tears. “Let me help you..” Draco said delicately, turning her around to face him, taking her hands off her face to see her gorgeous face filled with tears.

His hands traced down her cheek, wiping away the girl’s tears. The two of them standing closer than ever to each other, a pit of nervousness both appearing at their stomachs as they were now inches away from each other. “Tell me about Diggory, okay? I… I just want to listen and I want to be there for you.” The boy said in the most genuine way possible and Y/N sighed.

“Uhh… god okay.” Y/N breathed once more as words slowly started pouring out of her mouth.

“When I met Cedric, he seemed like a nice guy, he had everything, he was gorgeous, he was kind, nice, he was amazing... He seemed perfect. We flirted for a while and he was great and all then we started dating, we weren’t really that public about it and I thought that we really worked out really great as a couple, but then the whole Triwizard Tournament happened and.. and..”

Y/N’s breath hitched as Draco gently put his hand on top of hers in reassurance, he held her hand as he stroked it softly with his thumb, telling her that it’s okay and wanting her to tell him more.

“Um you remember the second task?” Y/N asked as Draco nodded still attentively listening to the girl as Y/N softly took a breath.

“Yeah um the one where they have to save who they care about, well that day Cedric saved Cho, and that’s how I found out about him fucking cheating on me with Cho- god.” She said as her eyes filled up with tears again. And this time Draco couldn’t help but pull her into a tight hug.

His whole body relaxed as he hugged the broken girl in front of him, also feeling the tense girl relax up under her touch, his hands slowly travelled to her hair as he started stroking her hair delicately, “Baby, it’s okay, it’s fine...” He said softly as she pulled away from the hug.

“I trusted him and he fucking broke my heart.. I just hate him so so fucking much. God- Draco.. then… and then I met you, I met someone who I felt like I could trust again, I met someone who I wanted to hang out with, but then your reputation, I found out about your reputation, for the first time since Cedric I finally liked a boy, I genuinely liked a boy… and wanted to open up to him, but you broke my heart, you crushed it, I thought you were like Cedric, I really fucking liked you, Malfoy and you devastated me.”

She muttered out as her heart ached. And so did Draco’s but at the same time he was happy about her revelation “You- you fucking like me?” Draco stammered as Y/N nodded.

Draco’s grey eyes glimmered with happiness. “Fucking hell, Y/N I liked you from the moment I fucking met you.. You have been quite literally the only thing good thing in my life as soon as I bumped into you in that bloody class..” Draco exclaimed as Y/N chuckled softly.

“The whole reputation thing was in the past, I was too much of a dick in the past but I’m not like that anymore, I promise, I wanted to explain that to you but when you came in so angry, I got angry and acted like an arse, instead of being reasonable with you, I.. I’m sorry.”

He said as he pulled her into a hug again feeling comfortable holding her and as she felt safe under his touch.

Draco’s tight hold was released from the girl as the two pulled away from the hug, as they did so they finally realized how close they had been standing to each other, as they were both gazing into each other’s eyes, both waiting for the other to make a move.

Draco’s arms were still snaked around her neck, and his soft touch on her neck was bringing Y/N closer and closer to him, but it was so painfully slow that Y/N couldn’t take it anymore.

She huffed as a sigh came out of her pursed lips, she felt as though she could not spend any more minutes without having his lips on hers, so she groaned as she quickly but harshly smashed her soft lips onto Draco’s plump lips as a whimper of satisfaction finally escaping her lips as she did so.

Draco was absolutely stunned and shocked by the girl’s motions and as soon as the realization of what was happening washed over him, his mouth reacted very quickly to hers, a low groan coming out of his mouth.

He absolutely adored the feeling of her lips smashed against his, as her lips felt incredibly soft and plump. Draco deepened the kiss as Y/N slowly parted her mouth, and Draco’s tongue harshly and quickly entered her mouth without any resistance as she parted her mouth ever so willingly, a small hint of redness arose to her cheeks.

His tongue slowly but surely experienced her mouth, it evoke feelings and tinglings in Y/N’s stomach that she never felt before, Draco was in a euphoric state as he was happily exploring Y/N’s mouth, his hands slowly stroked her hair, then they travelled down to her face, slowly caressing her cheeks, then it finally landed on her waist, having a quite harsh grip on it, Y/N could feel the imaginary fireworks exploding around them as their kiss deepened even more, Draco slowly bit her bottom lip, earning a low groan from the girl.

Then after what seemed like a long time, Y/N pulled away as she earned a soft groan from Draco causing her to giggle shyly, “We can continue that later.” She exclaimed as a smirk played on her lips and in return Draco licked his lips seductively as his mouth quirked up into a smile.

“I do have one question for you though.” Draco said softly as a hint of firmness and seriousness could be heard from his tone, which caused Y/N’s eyebrows to furrow in confusion as he looked up to the boy’s grey eyes in confusion, her face washed away with a hint of obvious worry.

“When do I get to hex the fuck out of Diggory?” Draco said as Y/N playfully hit him on the shoulder and giggled at the jealous boy. The two spent the entire night talking to each other, joking around and maybe even making out a little more.  

But one thing was for sure, they both felt so lucky to have finally at last that they found each other. They finally both had what they needed, someone to talk to, someone to listen to, someone to hang out with and someone to love.

taglist: @abb-lan-5sos​ @dracosathenaeum​

[vampcubus]

Hi bb! Would you be okay doing hc for tamaki, izuku, kirishima and kaminari x reader where shes kind of insecure bc shes kinda curvy and has a little bit of a tummy and he sees her poking at herself in the mirror? (can be nsfw too if you like!) thank you!

A/N: Hi there, bb! And I can definitely do that for you! I will say that I struggled with Tamaki and Kaminaris a little since I’ve never written for them before and that these… uh, aren’t HCs?? I must’ve misread, so I ended up writing little ficlets for each character instead! I hope you don’t mind 😅

Also, kinda got off-track with Denki’s… I hope you still like it though!

★| Warnings: Implied nsfw! A little angsty. |★

★ | Words: About 800+ each | ★

.   .   .

Midoriya Izuku

You stood in front of your mirror, staring intensely at your body in your underwear. A shirt hangs loosely in your hand at your side. You’d originally been changing when you made the mistake of catching a glimpse of yourself in the mirror, making you stop and stare. Most of the time you didn’t have time to worry about your looks anymore now that you were a senior and already doing your fair share of hero work with your near-constant internships with your mentor.

But now… 

A frown tugged at your lips as your eyes scoured over your curves, your hand releasing the shirt and letting it flutter to the ground. You stepped forward, hands instinctively moving to your plushy stomach, squeezing and poking at the chubby flesh unhappily. You’d always been insecure about your looks, but with how busy you’ve been lately and your incredibly sweet boyfriend telling you constantly how beautiful you were, you’ve been able to forget about it for a while.

But now you weren’t working, and Izuku wasn’t here right now.

So naturally, your self-conscious butt immediately snatched the opportunity to grab at your insecurities and strike. Had you gained weight without realizing it? You turned to the side in the mirror, grimacing at the way your tummy stuck out a bit more than you’d remembered it. And you gasped when you saw stretchmarks forming around your belly and hips, some around your thighs too. When did you get those?

“Honey?”

You jumped when Izuku’s voice suddenly sounded behind you and you turned to see him standing in the doorway to your bedroom. He looked a bit confused, and his face naturally turned pink at the sight of you only in your underwear, but curious as to you you’d been poking at yourself. You rushed to cover yourself, snatching the shirt from the floor and yanking it on, pulling to hem down to your thighs, stretching it as far it as it would go without tearing.

“O-Oh! Izuku, sorry I was just…! Um… changing!” You stuttered, avoiding his concerned gaze as you covered yourself up, looking embarrassed. You didn’t want him to see you right now, not with how… chubby you’ve gotten. The thought made your eyes water.

“It didn’t look like it. Are you okay?” Izuku asked worriedly, setting down his things and walking over to your anxiously swaying form. He didn’t even have the chance to be shy, too concerned for you to care that you were half-naked.

“Y-yes! I’m fine—just lemme get some clothes on! …I’m sure you don’t wanna see me like this.” You’d muttered that last part mostly to yourself but he certainly heard it.

To that, his face contorted with confusion.

“What do you mean? See you like what? You don’t look any different to me.” He said, wrapping his arms around you and nuzzling the side of your face as he hugged you tightly—his usual greeting. But you found yourself ducking out of his arms, afraid that if you didn’t put clothes on soon he’d notice, and not like what he saw.

“I-I, nothing it’s nothing! I n-need to put clothes on first.” You stammered, skirting around him to dig around in your drawers for something—anything to cover up with.

That certainly let him know that something was wrong. Izuku was quick to jump to conclusions. What were you hiding? Had someone hurt you and you were trying to hide it? Did something happen while he was gone?

Izuku came up behind you, wrapping his arms around you from behind, halting your rummaging. You met his eyes in the mirror and you avert your gaze, embarrassed.

“What’s wrong, princess? You can tell me I promise.” Izuku assured you, kissing the back of your shoulder like he always did. You clammed up, pulling the shirt down over your thighs even more, unknowingly making the neckline drop until your cleavage was quite clearly poking out from it. Despite his concern, he couldn’t help but blush at the sight. It also made him more aware of your softness pressed against his chest, your gentle curves under his arms.

“I’m… just…” You started, tears rising again. But this time you’re unable to stop them from trickling down your cheeks. His heart hurts when he sees that you’re crying. He hates seeing you cry. “I’ve just gained a bit of weight, th-that’s all and I was j-just… I didn’t want you to… see.”

Izuku’s eyes widened in surprise, lips parted at your shaky confession. You were insecure about your body? Why? You were beautiful, couldn’t you tell? So what if you gained weight? He probably wouldn’t have even noticed. The fact that you’d been unhappily poking at yourself before he came in, and then didn’t want him to see you just because you thought he’d care made him feel incredibly sad. He sucked in a deep breath.

“Y/N, sweetie, you don’t have to do that. I couldn’t care less if you’ve gained weight! You’re absolutely gorgeous and you’ll always be. Don’t think for a minute that you aren’t beautiful to me, because you’re gleaming on the inside and outside, I love you the way you are.” Izuku hugged you tighter against his chest, kissing your cheek as you sniffled, glossy eyes meeting his in the mirror again. “C-can I see, please? You don’t h-have to if I’m making you uncomfortable, but I’d like to see you. To prove it to you that I love you.”

You sigh, releasing your death grip on the shirt, allowing the stretchy fabric to fling back up to where it was supposed to lay. 

“O-okay, if you’re sure, b-but please don’t look too long. I’m embarrassed!” You blurted out, covering your face.

His hands tug at the hem of the shirt, pulling it up and over your head. Now that Izuku looked, you did look a bit thicker than the last time he saw you, but not in a bad way at all. The green-haired boy couldn’t help but blush, his mouth watering at the sight of your voluptuous curves and how plushy and soft you looked. Just like a lil bunny rabbit! God, you were so sexy. He was so lucky to have you. His hands wrapped around you again, yet you remain stiff. Izuku kissed your shoulder and then the back of your neck, moving his head to the other side of you as his hands drifted over your soft skin.

“I don’t see what you were worried about, princess, you look amazing, as always.” He nuzzled your neck, hands slipping over your belly to rub soothing circles into with his thumbs. “In fact, I kinda like you this way, you’re s-so soft!”

You couldn’t help but giggle as he peppered kisses all over the side of your face and shoulder, his fingers playfully tickling you. Your cheeks burned as you took in his praise and encouragement, drowning in the affection he was swamping you with all of a sudden. Izuku muttered an ‘i love you’ into each kiss against your skin.

“You… really think so?” You asked, timidly and his eyes meet yours in the mirror again. An emerald green forest staring back at you with an expression so loving it makes you want to faint. Your boyfriend was the sweetest. No one could convince you otherwise.

“You want me to prove it? Because I’m not afraid to show you.” Izuku purrs in your ear, hands on your hips as his lips meet your neck with a more sensual, and less innocent press of flesh. His freckled cheeks are a dark red, and his gleaming eyes stare into yours with an all too familiar longing. You’ve never felt so wanted before.

“Show me then.” You whisper seductively back, feeling his hips brush against your backside as the words tumble from your smiling lips.

And oh, did he show you.

.   .   .

Amajiki Tamaki

You glared teary-eyed at yourself in the mirror, your expression a mixture of anger, frustration, and shame. It wasn’t too often you found yourself in your underwear, scowling at your reflection like it repulsed you. You always so busy, and so you never really had the time to be insecure. But yet here you were. It was far from the first time you’ve recognized the fact that you were a little bigger than the other girls, and yet you constantly found yourself surprised by your appearance. Your expression morphed from angry to just… sad, tears forming in the corners of your eyes as your hands came up to squish and poke at your tummy.

Had it always been this… chubby? Or did you gain weight without realizing it? Why did you feel so heavy all of a sudden? Were you not exercising enough? Eating too much?

It didn’t matter the reason you gained weight. Only that you hated it. You hated the way you looked right now and it bothered you, more than it should. You were a fucking hero! Why did you look like this? Your lips quivered, and you slapped a hand over your stomach, hearing the smack echo throughout the room. You grimaced turning in the mirror and trying to suck in your gut. You poked some more at your sides, getting more upset with yourself by the minute.

“B-bunny? A-are you okay in there? You’ve been in there for a while and I um… I’m getting worried.” Came Tamaki’s soft voice from outside the bathroom door, causing you to sigh.

“No, not really, Tamaki…” You admitted, not turning away from the mirror.

“Oh no, can I come in?” Tamaki asked worriedly, hating the thought of you not being alright. Were you hurt? Or did he do something wrong? Why wouldn’t you come out? He even brought you some mochi to share as a surprise treat.

“Yeah…” You sighed, if there was anyone you trusted to see you like this, it was him.

The door opened and an indigo head of hair poked in, his nervous face burning a bright shade of scarlet when he realized that you weren’t dressed. He short-circuited, instantly ducking back behind the door with a stammer, unable to contain his blush and the familiar tingles of arousal from seeing you with so much skin exposed. God, he was such a pervert!

“O-oh, gosh, b-bunny! Y-y-you’re not clothed I—I-I’m sorry! I s-s-should have asked first!” Tamaki blurted with a hand clasped over his mouth.

Perhaps you should’ve called Nejire-chan instead?

You sighed, your heart sinking further as your boyfriend cowered behind the bathroom door. Even he noticed how chubby you’ve gotten, he probably didn’t even want to see you. He was probably grossed out. You couldn’t help the tears streaming down your face now, ashamed and angry.

“Of course, sorry, not even you would want to see me like this!” You sobbed, face buried in your hands as you leaned over the sink.

Tamaki froze from behind the door, his brain drawing a complete blank.

Huh?

What did you just say?

Surely you didn’t just…

You were crying!!!

Tamaki threw all caution and his embarrassment into the wind like the paper-airplane notes you used to pass to each other in class when you first started dating. He swung open the door and scrambled over to you, arms surrounding you immediately, face buried in your shoulder.

“N-n-no, that’s n-not it at all! You l-look beautiful! I was just em-em… embarrassed.” Tamaki stuttered into your shoulder, as you gaped at him in the mirror. “Y-you’re so pretty, bunny, I  j-just couldn’t handle it…”

Beautiful?

Pretty?

But…

“Tama-chan, don’t you see? I’m chubby!” You groaned, hands pulling at your plushy stomach as if to emphasize your point.

Behind you, Tamaki lifted his face from your shoulder, confused. He only blushed when he gazed at your beautiful form in the mirror, red cheeks threatening to catch fire if they got any hotter. Or worse, he might faint, and embarrass himself! You didn’t think you were pretty because you were a little chubbier than others? That couldn’t be farther from the truth!

“S-so?” He muttered, meeting your eyes in the mirror. Yours widened at the question, searching his pretty onyx eyes for something. You weren’t sure what you were looking for, but you didn’t mind it, and that was a good thing.

And that’s when you realized that he was right; so what? He still thought you were beautiful. And you are once again reminded of why you loved the anxious and incredibly shy boy.

“You’re… right. So what?” You turned to peck his lips, a light pink dusting his cheeks when you do. “Thank you.”

“B-b-but I didn’t do anything!” He stuttered, hands flying to his bright red face to cover his scalding cheeks. They’re so warm it feels like they’ll melt the skin off his palms.

If only he knew just how much he did.

.   .   .

Kirishima Eijirou

You examined yet another bikini in the mirror of the fitting room, turning and twirling around as if a different angle would change your perspective. You sighed, looking over at the pile of other choices you’d already gone through in the past twenty minutes. You knew the swimsuits weren’t the issue… The problem was you.

You frowned at your reflection, heart sinking deep into your chest. It’s been a while since you’ve gone swimming, so naturally, it’s been a good long while since you’ve had to feel this way. Insecure…

It wasn’t as if you haven’t been self-conscious about your weight before, you’ve had your moments. But in those moments you’ve always had Kiri around to make you forget, drowning you in so much affection you just didn’t think anymore didn’t worry anymore. He forbid it, always making you smile, reminding you that you’d always be protected and loved. In fact, the cherry-redhead sat just outside of the women’s fitting rooms, patiently waiting for you to pick something to wear to a friend’s pool party.

You hear a few soft knocks on the door and Kirishima’s worried voice filtering through it.

“Hey, babe? You doin’ alright? You’ve been in there a while, I’m sure you look great in all of ‘em, but we gotta leave soon!” He calls. It’s a nicer way of saying ‘hurry your ass up before we’re late.’ 

In all honesty, you might just want to be late, maybe you could come up with an excuse not to swim and just keep a cover dress over your bathing suit? Yeah! That would work, you just have to figure out which one you’re gonna buy, get dressed and find a cover before you left!

“Babe? Can I come in? C’mon, they can’t be that bad!” Eijirou coaxes from the other side of the door with that charming sweet-talking voice of his, but it’s so painfully hard to swallow because he doesn’t realize that you’re the problem.

“I did suggest you just show up butt naked, it’s cheaper and super manly!” He laughs between his sharp teeth, trying to coax a giggle out of you but all he received was silence.

“I’m sorry, Y/N, that was a stupid thing to say. Please let me in? Did you need help or something? Let your big strong hero help you.”

You sighed taking a nervous glance towards the locked door. Kiri always knew just what to say to get you to bend to his every will, so even despite your self-consciousness, you turned to the door with a defeated sigh.

“Fine, but… promise me you won’t laugh, okay?” You relented, hand on the doorknob as he attempted to open it. You stopped. “Okay?” You emphasized.

“I promise, babe.”

You opened the door and tugged him inside, slamming the door back shut behind you. Eijirou stumbled into the small space, having the presence of mind to blush when he caught sight of you wearing a red cherry-print bikini, back turned to him and hands poking unhappily at yourself. His eyebrows furrowed. What were you doing?

“Uh, Y/N?” He started warily, and you meet his concerned eyes in the fitting room’s full-length mirror. “What are you doing?”

You don’t answer, looking lost in thought as you ignored his question and asked one of your own. The randomness of the inquiry and the raw emotion in your voice as you asked it made him freeze up.

“Eiji, I want your honest opinion, am I… am I fat?” You asked, teeth digging mercilessly into your bottom lip to contain the whimpers behind your shaking tongue.

Kirishima stumbled back like he’d been slapped.

“What? You? Fat? No! Of course, not!” He was quick to wrap his arms around you from behind, pulling you into his chest as he did so. You gave him a doubtful look from over your shoulder, still appreciating the contact, but not entirely comforted. “What brought this on?”

You sighed deeply, hands rubbing your temples.

“Did somebody say something? Because if they did I’ll—”

“No, Eijirou I just… I’m just feeling a little insecure I guess. I haven’t had the chance to since I’ve been so busy, and… not in a bathing suit… but now that I am…” You trailed off, eyes dropping to your feet.

“Hey, look, you’re gorgeous in anything you wear, and I’m not going to complain if my girl has a bit more for me to hold alright? Far from it actually.” He chuckled, though his eyes held a softness in them that made you melt into a puddle of sighs. “You don’t even need to try anything else one, I like this one.”

“You’re just saying that because you want to leave.” You smirked, rolling your eyes.

“Yeah, but really, I like this one. It’s cute. On you anyways.” Kirishima kissed your reddened cheeks and you hid your face, thoroughly embarrassed. And just as soon as you thought you couldn’t blush any harder, you felt his hands drifting over your thighs, something hard against your back, and a sharp-toothed grin pressed against your neck.

“I think I’d like it off of you better though.” The red-heat breathes into your ear, and you feel yourself melting into his arms and gentle touches, letting him make you forget again.

You were about an hour late to that party.

.   .   .

Kaminari Denki

You were very aware that your boyfriend had a very perverted mind, and even knowing this you still somehow found yourself caught off-guard embarrassingly often. Right now was one of those times.

“Denki Kaminari, when I get my hands on you I swear to fucking god!” You were currently chasing a short-circuited Kaminari around the pool, arms thrown over your chest as he swam around with your bikini top in hand.

How he had gotten to be this fried was a long, complicated story for another time, but to summarize, that little smug-faced off-brand Pikachu was getting murdered today.

Your face was beet red as you finally gave up the chase, rushing over to the corner of the pool and sinking under the water to your chin, and facing the wall to shield your mortified expression and nude upper body. You had never felt this humiliated! Not only had your boyfriend taken advantage of your unfortunately loose bikini top, flying off after hopping into the water, but there was most of your class in the very same pool to bare witness to it all!

It was bad enough that it took a half-an-hour for your friends to convince you to take off the sundress you wore over your bathing suit and get in the water. And it was nice! For the first ten seconds that you were blissfully unaware that your top had slipped off, and was halfway across the pool by the time you noticed.

You would’ve snatched your top from the water, hopped out and never looked at a pool or any of your classmates again. Well, you would have if s o m e b o d y hadn’t reached the striped floating garment before you.

You sunk even deeper into the water until only your watery eyes peered above the surface, staring intensely at the wall. You realized why Tamaki-san liked them so much.

You jumped when someone sat down at the edge of the pool above you. It was Midoriya, holding out his shirt to you with his eyes respectfully covered. 

“H-here, L/N you can wear it to cover up until those two stop being such jerks.” The green-haired boy looked over to Kaminari and Mineta who were giggling at the other end of the pool. You looked up to him like he was some sort of angel sent from heaven.

“Th-thank you! You’re a life-saver, Midoriya!” You took the shirt gratefully, yanking it over your head and covering up your nakedness. You scrambled out of the pool and made a mad dash to where your stuff sat. You threw your sundress over Midoriya’s shirt and your bikini bottoms, grabbing your purse and shoes and rushing over to the exit, trying to keep in the tears. “I-I can give you your shirt tomorrow!”

You heard a few voices call your name but you ignored them, retreating from the scene as quickly as possible. You had tears streaming down your face as you speed-walked to your dorm.

Your breath hitched when you heard someone call your name, and then turned to see Midoriya jogging to catch up with you. You groaned inwardly, slowing to a stop to let the boy approach you. He did help you out back there, the least you could do was wait for him.

“U-um, I’m sorry, I can go change real quick and hand over your shirt—” You started, hand rubbing the back of your neck.

“I don’t care about the shirt!” He interrupted and you stared wide-eyed at the freckled boy in front of you. “I came to see if you were okay, L/N.”

You sighed, wiping the tears from your face and shaking your head.

“No, not really… that was so embarrassing!” You wanted to crawl into a ball right there and just meld into the cement. If only you had a quirk like that! You’ve never been the jealous type, but you were feeling pretty envious of Mirio at the moment. He could hide whenever he wanted to!

You feel your green-haired classmate wrap you up in a towel, and then a tight hug as you tried to calm down. It was a bit awkward, considering you weren’t necessarily close, but you appreciated the comfort he provided in your time of need.

“Thank you, Midoriya.” You sighed, pulling away from the hug and adjusting your bag over your shoulder.

“N-no, problem. I’ll go back and set things straight with Mineta and Kaminari, that was pretty messed up of them.” He offered, eyes friendly and slightly vengeful.

As much as you’d like to permit Midoriya to avenge you, you didn’t want to make an even bigger deal out of this. It’s not like it would make you feel better.

“No, that’s okay, I just… I’m just gonna go back and relax for a while.” You managed a half-smile which he returned with a nod, telling you to text him or Uraraka if you needed anything before heading back to the pool area.

As soon as you stepped foot into your dorm, you launched yourself onto your bed and under the covers, not caring that you were soaking wet. All you cared about right now was hiding.

A little while later, you heard a few knocks at your door.

“Who is it?” You called from under the covers, now dressed in your PJs.

“I-It’s me, baby.” You heard the nervous voice of Kaminari filter through the door, slightly muffled.

“Go away!” You cried, burying your face deeper into your pillows.

The blonde-haired boy flinched, feeling the guilt weigh down heavier against his chest. He felt incredibly bad for what he did earlier, you didn’t deserve to be put on the spot and humiliated like that just because his brain got fried and he got hyped up. He knew you were insecure about your body, and he knew even as screwy as his brain was at the time, he knew how shy you were when getting into the water. And he acted anyway.

Damn it, Denki. We get it, your girlfriend is super fucking hot and you wanted to show her off but seriously, that was a dick move and you know it.

“Look, Y/N, I’m really sorry! I was being a total dick out there, and… and I feel awful.”

Fuck his sorry! You weren’t going to let him off the hook for embarrassing you in front of the entire class!

“Sorry doesn’t make me feel any better!” You shouted back, glaring angrily in the darkness under your safe and cozy covers.

“I know it doesn’t… can I come in? Please? I want to make it up to you!” Kaminari pleaded and you only scoffed.

“Unless you have a huge bag of M&Ms and the second season of (Favorite Show), I don’t want to fucking hear it!”

It was silent for a while.

“Give me five minutes!” He called through the door before you heard him dash off down the hall.

What?

He wasn’t actually going to…

You poked your head out from under the covers, sitting upright. You stared blankly at the door for a few minutes, dumbfounded. And as promised, about four or five minutes later you heard someone clamber through the halls and pound on your door.

“Open up, I’ve got your M&M’s, babe!”

Needless to say, that’s how you made up.

[akatsvmu]

ok hot take — but also because I’m genuinely curious — I’ve seen a lot of discussion about the anti - Asian racism in shadow and bone and how it was unnecessary + obvious that the writers were white, etc.

*this ended up being long so I put the rest under the cut*

before I begin I just want to say that im just putting this out here to hear what others have to say !! I’m open to whatever u have to say legit I just want to talk to others about this hahah. I don’t want to make anyone feel uncomfortable, but if I do then I apologize and if you feel like it, to let me know why exactly so I can be more aware next timee

okk so, reading what everyone else had to say after finishing the season made me question myself BIG TIMEEEE because tbh ..... I didn’t really see what the problem was as I was watching the show 😭

I didnt watch any trailers or promo vids before the show bc I didnt want to expect anything. so the first time I heard about Alina being half - shu was when she said it in the show — and TBHHH I was actually so happy (since I’m South East Asian) it was a pleasant surprise, I was like “omg I can relate to uu !! <33” kind of thing ya know.

After i watched it, I read the discussions on how they handled it and everything and I was worried bc I was still having such a hard time seeing what was so wrong about it,, I genuinely felt really bad at this point bc I was thinking like ... am I racist ?? Or am I actually contributing to racism and all that ?? soo I wanted to just share some of my thoughts here and if you actually finish reading this maybe like share some of your thoughts too ??

okok so hear we go — Alina being changed into half - shu didnt bother me at all, as I said earlier it was a nice surprise since it allowed me to relate to her more, i remember i even texted my friend bc i was so happy lmaooo (plus I thought it fit well since Jessie is actually half chinese).

About how the racism was ‘unnecessary’ since it’s a fictional world and all >> I get how they technically didn’t need to add it in — BUT... I kind of liked that they did add it ?? since it showed me that, oh you know she went through all of that, was discriminated against, etc. but was still able to do all the things she did and she didn’t let any of that stop her (I've finished the trilogy so I know how her story ends, assuming they stick to the books in later seasons lmao).

I mean tbh I even felt kinda better ? Hopeful even ?? My line of thinking was like “even the sun summoner faced some racism yet she was able to push through her journey !!” and all that ++ plus how she didn’t let it affect her — she even said, “don’t change my eyes” in that one scene which made me feel really proud for some reason.

about how they only centered the racism around Alina >> like how Jesper or Inej didn't really have to face any racism ++ and how it was all anti shu ..... again that didn’t rly bother me bc like ..... she’s kind of the main character ????? Not to say that the other characters stories don’t matter (lmao im not done w crooked kingdom yet but I already prefer their duology over the trilogy 😭🤚🏼) but given the fact that this particular adaptation of the story (or even season) is about Alina and Her experiences,, it’s kind of a given that the story will literally revolve around her and the challenges she faces ?????

the books obviously talked about what inej and the others went through + but that was because they had two books and individual chapters to flesh out their characters, plus we learned about their origins through a flashback type thing, it wasn’t a linear storyline.

This season had 8 episodes, so I really didn’t expect them to focus on their backstories since it's established that they’ve been working together for a while (the three crows, not Nina and Matthias). In the show, Alina has just discovered her powers = meaning her arc has just started.

lastly, about how it was unnecessary that Zoya was racist to Alina >> This one confused me a lot im ngl, because in the first book zoya does act like a lil bitch to Alina and everyone in the little palace — Marie and Nadia constantly talked shit abt her behind her back — bro even Genya didn’t like her lol — ALSO she even admitted to this in the second or third book right ?? So considering where her arc goes — I thought that this was obvious ?? she was meant to be disliked at first bc she literally has a redemption arc (AHHH don’t get me wrong here I loved zoya in the end pls shes so snarky ahidhshshs she a lil bitch but she owns it 😌😌 as she should)

I know she wasn’t outright racist to Alina in the books — but she was mean to her — *if I’m not wrong doesn’t she also whisper to Alina in front of the king about how she was an orphan peasant?* given the changes in the show, I thought it was understandable for her to treat her that way (not that it’s ok for anyone to be treated that way but you get the point right...) also idk if this counts but she does correct that one lady saying that Inej was suli and not whatever she originally said.

okk that’s all I can think of now, if you made it this far I wanna say thank uuu so much ily 🥰 ,, I know this was long I didnt think I had this much to say.

if you want then pleaseee share some of your thoughts 🤲🏼🤲🏼 i don’t want to subconsciously be a racist apologist or anything 😭😭 so I’m open to hearing what u have to say ++ also I’m really just wondering why I saw this so differently compared to everyone else ahshsjhdhs.

edit: ive only read the trilogy and six of crows so far. i havent had the time to start crooked kingdom or nikolai's books bc school :/ soo if youre gonna comment, please dont mention anything about crooked kingdom and anything after that !! huhu shhshshsa

SECOND EDIT: someone commented on this but i posted it accidentally and deleted the old one and didnt see their comment im gonna cry aaaaaa

[itsnsfwalways]

Canyon Moon

A/N: WELCOME TO THE CANYON MOON FIC ! The chapters have to be split up and cut a lot shorter bc of sizing limits but I’m hoping you guys will still like it.

FIC MASTERLIST

WARNINGS FOR CHP. 1: swearing, mild drug use (weed)

CHAPTER ONE: the world’s happy waiting

The ocean has always been a calming place for you. Any body of water, really. The lapping of thewaves, the smell of salt, the course feeling of sand between your toes. It felt like home. So when you moved to Malibu, you found yourself lying on the beach until 4 am most nights, sometimes sleeping, but more often than not listening to music and writing.

Working as a songwriter for mostly just your friends, or as a fill in whenever someone wasn’t there, you were constantly writing. It was a lot easier to get deeper that way for you, not having to worry about sharing your secrets, and being able to mask it in other people’s voices. That being said, you had journals upon journals of your own songs. They were just for you, and occasionally your best friends, but it was something you were really proud of. After writing for the past 6 years, you’d like to think they were pretty good.

You’d gotten to your little spot around an hour ago, parking your pride and joy, an orange and yellow remodeled VW bus, which also functioned as your room most nights when you wanted to be out here, next to the sand.

The vibrant sunset had since dulled into a deep purple color, but it was still fairly light out. A small bonfire was lit in front of your blanket, keeping you a little extra warm even though it was still 70°.

Strumming your guitar, you moved away from the rock you were leaning against, a car’s headlights snapping you out of the haze you always got when you were out here. And also those two joints you had smoked already.

You raise your eyebrows at the fucking bright yellow Ferrari, hoping they were just stopping for a second.

Your prayers were ignored as a guy stepped out, a hoodie pulled over his head.

Shrugging your shoulders, you continue to play mindlessly, making up different melodies before creating a new one on top it.

Mr. Ferrari starts making his way over to you, which sends a flutter through your chest.

“Hey, just so you know, if you’re going to kill me, I’ve always wanted to die listening to Landslide by Fleetwood Mac,” you yell, grabbing your phone from your bag just in case.

The guy stops for a second and lets out a laugh.

“Definitely not trying to kill you,” he chuckles, and, oh, he’s British.

He comes closer and you come face to face with one of the prettiest people you’ve ever seen. Wearing a black hoodie with the words “Treat People With Kindness” embroidered on it, that’s cute, a pair of grey slacks, which you wouldn’t necessarily think of for beach attire, but he makes up for it by completing the look with no shoes.

“Do y’have a lighter I could borrow? Damn thing ran out and the gas station is just far away enough for it to be annoying.”

You laugh at that and nod, tossing him a random one from your bag.

“I feel that. I’m Y/N. Where you from?” You bluntly ask, because hey, he’s cute.

“Manchester, originally. Live near here now. You mind?” He asks, and you nod, scooting over to let him sit.

You’re hit with the smell of vanilla, leather, and just rich as he plops himself down, leaning against a rock a few feet away from you.

He points to your guitar, lips curled around the joint for a second before he inhales and asks,

“How long you been playing? Liked what you were doing earlier.”

You blush at this, barely remembering what you were doing.

“I have no fuckin clue. 14 years? Got my first guitar at 8 and fell in love.” You over exaggerated hugging your guitar, getting another laugh out of him, before you spit out,

“Oh, and thank you! I don’t really remember what I was doing to be honest. Just get in the zone sometimes. Do you play?”

He looks surprised at this, looking at you closely for a second.

“Uh, yeah, little bit. Been trying to learn more recently and kind of get my skills up.”

“Good for you! If you ever wanna play together, I’m literally always here. You sharing?” You smile, looking at his face in the orange light. His cheekbones are illuminated perfectly and you feel your throat go dry.

He nods and hands it to you, watching as you press the filter to your lips.

“What did you say your name was again?” You rack your brain and cannot remember him introducing himself.

“Didn’t. Harry, sorry that was a bit rude,” He mumbles, and you look at him funny.

“Are you like an FBI agent, Harry? Why so secret? And harassing young girls on the beach at night? With a fucking Ferrari? Come on, man, what’s your secret?” You tease, bumping your elbow into his side.

He laughs, shoving you with his shoulder lightly.

“Only harassing that’s going on is you interrogating me. But if I’m making you uncomfortable, I’ll leave right now. I should probably go, actually.” He rants, suddenly moving to get up. You turn your body quickly and lay your legs in his lap so he can’t move.

“You’re dumb. Secret, please?” You smile, blinking up at him.

He scoffs, shaking his head with a small smile, and pauses to run a hand through his hair. He takes a deep breath in before saying,

“I’m a musician, so that’s where the car and secret beach trips come in. I’m actually just starting to write for my next album, and I’m hitting a rut.”

“Oh shit, that’s what’s up! You’ll have to show me your stuff sometime. Sorry that I don’t know you, I’ve been living on the road for awhile so I listen to a lot of oldies. Plus, with hippie parents you don’t hear a lot of new music,” You explain, gesturing to your van.

He looks at you for a second before shaking his head, smiling to himself.

“What?” You grin, shoving his knee with your foot.

“You’re something else, s’all.”

“So I’ve been told.” A giggle falls from your lips as you lay down on the blanket, legs still in his lap, guitar now discarded to the side.

Looking up at the stars starting to form, you feel his gaze on you. Trying to figure out who this chick was, what stories she had, what witty remark was just past her lips.

“Question.” You say, propping your head up. Your hand finds it’s way on the back of your skull and you feel the blanket shift slightly underneath your elbow.

“Answer,” He responds with the same tone, tapping your knees with his fingertips.

“Would you wanna come with me so I can get a tattoo?”

He stops for a second and stares at you.

“Like, right now? You got an appointment?”

You grin and move off of him, ruffling his hair.

“Even better. I got cool friends.”

He takes his time packing up all your stuff, being as cautious enough to remind you not to cover the fire with sand in case someone stepped on it.

“This is my beach, Ferrari. No one comes here. Except handsome British guys, apparently.”

He looks up from the ground, where he’s stuffing your towel into your bag, and throws you a smirk.

“Thanks, baby. You’re gorgeous as well,”

“Blegh. Let me come introduce you to Sunflower,” you fake shudder at the pet name and he grins, pinching your side so he can laugh at your little jump.

You lead him over to your van, opening up the side door to show off your renovated home.

The entire thing was orange with white trim, big yellow sunflowers painted on the sides. The ceiling inside was painted a dark blue, the walls painted yellow.

A meditation rug was lying on the floor, a light brown wood flooring that matched the cabinets attached to the ceiling.

Your bed was all the way in the back, a simple white comforter on it. A mirror hung next to it, attached to the bathroom door. There was a small kitchen counter complete with a sink and a stovetop next to it. A small table folded out behind the drivers seat where a lounge area was located, orange cushions and fairy lights decorating the little couch.

All in all, it was a tiny fucking house in a car and you treated it like your baby.

“This is fucking sick,” he says, looking at the different artwork, posters, and decorations hanging all over the walls and cabinets.

“Thanks! Did it myself. Spent all summer working on it a few years back, I’m damn proud of it.”

There’s a pause for a second, trying to figure out how to best work this out.

“I’m cool to just leave my car here if you’re down to drive me. We’re going to one of my guy friends’ studio about thirty minutes from here,” you suggest, having a feeling Harry wouldn’t be down to leave his car here, no matter how secluded it was.

“Uh, okay. Should I be worried? Who knows what scoundrels you hang out with?” He teases, watching you go into the van to grab some things.

You glance back at him, laughing, before your breath catches in your throat. He’s since removed his hoodie and is left in a white tank top with small black print on the rib cage. Making a mental note to figure out what it says later, your eyes can’t help but drift to his arms. Illuminated in the car light, his biceps bulge as he rests his hands on the roof, leaning forward slightly into the car.

His tongue traces along his teeth, landing itself in his cheek as he watches you check him out.

“See something you like?” He asks, raising his eyebrows like he’s genuinely curious.

Your eyes flick back to his smirking face and you blink for a second, before responding with,

“Yeah, was trying to figure out what asshole uses a word like ‘scoundrel’ in 2018, what the fuck, Harry?”

He barks out a laugh and brings his fist up to his mouth to cover it, the other one coming down to hold his stomach.

“When you are done appreciating my humor, I need to change real quick. Spin around, please,” You come up from your squat and pull off your sweatshirt, not waiting for him to do that.

“Jesus, Y/N,” He exhales, spinning around and looking up at the sky.

“What? I gave you a warning,” you giggle, sliding your sweatpants down to slip into a pair of black volleyball shorts.

“By about half a second!” Harry exclaims. “You’re killing me.”

“Sorry, superstar, nobody is exempt from special treatment here.” You roll your eyes at yourself, what the fuck are you even saying.

“Mkay, you’re good.”

Harry spins around, eyes taking in your new outfit.

On top of your shorts was a giant Stevie Nicks shirt, one from her White Winged Dove tour.

“Shit, you might be a bigger Stevie fan than I am, and that’s saying a lot.”

“Fuck, you have no idea. My dad went to the fucking final show of this tour and met my mom in the crowd during Dreams. My mom made him play it when I was born because she swore Stevie brought me to them.”

You catch him staring at you and turn your head away, cheeks burning because you’re rambling and need to shut the fuck up.

He clears his throat and takes a breath before starting.

“Promise not to kill me when I tell you this?”

Holding your hand to your burning cheeks, you murmur,

“No.”

“Y/N!” Harry exclaims, finally coming in the van to tickle you.

“Okay, okay, I promise not to kill you,” You mock, waving your hands around.

“I was lucky enough to sing one of my songs with her along with Landslide and Leather and Lace.”

You drop your bag onto the ground as your jaw drops.

“Shut up. I don’t believe you.” You cross your arms over chest. “I don’t know if I’d be angrier if you’re lying or if it actually happened. Holy shit am I jealous.”

“Oh, I was crying onstage, losing my shit. She is, everything. Dreams was the first song I learned the words to, yknow? She truly is a magical being.”

“God. I’m definitely looking you up later because who the fuck sings one of THEIR songs with Stevie Nicks.” You sigh, leaning over to grab your bag and Doc Martens.

“Oh god.” Harry laughs, running a hand through his hair again, looking at you really intensely for a second.

“Not to sound like a dick, but do you really not know who I am?”

“I mean if you need your ego boosted I can lie?” You offer, before dropping the witty responses.

“But no, sorry. Like I said, I just.... don’t really listen to new music, and if I do it’s always my friends or some indie shit with an overused beat.” Harry laughs at that and you smile, yes, he’s not weirded out.

“Don’t apologize, please. I just, can’t be too sure, yknow? People like to use you, especially here. And you’re just a little too perfect to be true,” he sighs, pulling you closer to him by your waist.

Placing you hands on his chest, you look at him for a second before leaning forward and whisper in his ear,

“My tattoo awaits me, baby. Let’s go.”

He groans and leans his head on your shoulder, before letting you go and grabbing your bag for you.

Such a gentleman, you think to yourself, locking up Sunflower.

“Does your car have a cool name?” You ask, after buckling you, fingertips appreciating the rich black leather seat.

“Nope, but I’m good at nicknames. I’m gonna take a wild guess and say normal terms of endearment aren’t your thing?” He asks, making eye contact with you for a quick second as he puts his arm behind your seat before stretching slightly to look behind him as he pulls puts the car in reverse.

Looking up for a quick second, you remind yourself to breathe.

“You would be correct. Gotta use your brain if you wanna get me all jittery,” you tease, fanning yourself over exaggeratedly.

He gives you a side eye and smirks at you, popping a piece of gum in his mouth and raising his eyebrows, as if to say, game on.

“So where am I going?” He asks, starting to drive away from your special spot.

“Let us ask the oracle!” You hold out your phone like a trophy, before laughing to yourself and bringing up Google Maps.

Propping your phone up in the cupholder, you sit cross legged in just your socks in his seat, fidgeting with your hands for a second.

“I’m kind of intrigued on who you are now. What’s your story?” You ask, turning your head to look at him.

Harry glances over at you, eyes drifting to your bare legs for a second.

“Well, the short version, I guess, is I grew up in a little town in England with my mum and my sister, applied to X-Factor when I was 16, got put into a band called One Direction with four other lads, released couple albums with them until end of 2015. Then did a movie called Dunkirk, wrote and released my first solo album, and toured it. Just got back from tour about a month ago, actually.”

You look at him blankly for a second, and he shifts in his seat, removing one of his hands from the wheel to place it on the armrest.

“Holy SHIT am I unaccomplished,” you exclaim, hitting him in the chest.

“Hey!” he yells, but you cut him off.

“How many fucking albums is a couple? And how old are you, my god. That is impressive.”

“I’m 24, that probably should’ve been said before we’re alone in a car together. And 5 albums, in 5 years. Nearly killed us.”

“I’m 22. Damn, dude, that’s insane. It sounds like they horribly overworked you and I am hoping you were generously compensated and had a bit of musical freedom. I know how the music industry can be with boy bands.”

He nods for a second, licking his lips slightly, trying to figure out how to phrase his response.

“I’m not going to lie, there are some definite perks and I am so incredibly lucky to just be able to do what I love as my job.” His fingers find their way to his bottom lip, pinching it slightly. “It was fun, I mean, you throw a bunch of teenagers together and give them celebrity status? We were insane, and I enjoyed it. But.... it felt like I wasn’t a person anymore. I was just ‘Harry Styles from the boyband One Direction’.”

“I don’t necessarily understand but I think the fact that you came out this respectful and real says something. You seem to have your shit properly together, and, even if you don’t, you got back from tour two months ago! You deserve some relaxation. The world’s happy to wait for you to find yourself a little.”

Pausing for a second, you place your hand on his arm, squeezing it lightly before swearing,

“I hope you know I’m being genuine about not knowing you and latching on for fame. I’ll let your parents know my intentions with their son are all very pure.”

He laughs at that, glancing at you again,

“I appreciate you saying that. This life is wonderful, like I said, but it’s very stressful and puts pressure on every relationship. There’s always going to be stories or photos and rumors spread like wildfire.”

You shift in your seat, understanding that this was a very serious issue for him.

“Listen, I’ll let you know up front that that doesn’t bother me. I’ve dated musicians and know the life, I get it. I think you’re cool and that we could have a fun time experiencing real life together. But before we do that, you need to have fun and let everything the fuck GO. I’ll promise you right now, if you let me stick around, you’ll experience what life is. No fame or pining for success bullshit, no offense, but there’s no need for it. If you’re happy doing what you’re doing, no one can tell you you’re not successful.” Harry stops the car at a red light and fully turns to look at you.

He exhales harshly before grinning. “You are a breath of fresh fucking air, Y/N. I think you’re going to change my life, if I’m being honest here.”

“Here’s hoping,” you grin.

A/N: THE OFFICIAL FIRST CHAPTER IS UP !!! I’m hoping you guys will come to love this fic as much as I do. I’ll try to find a writing schedule that works with you guys and my work schedule, so sorry if chapters take a little bit to come up. This is going to be a looooong fic, so buckle up, turn that old lover’s hippie music on, and enjoy !!

- lana <3

[babineni]

Maybe "remember when we met" from the Adoration Prompts for any combination of Team Gilded Vale?

Thank you, sorry it took me ages but anyway have some Edér X Watcher nonsense that involves their almost first time doing-the-do but ends up being... not that. Bc of the Mental Eel™

Anyway below the cut bc of lots of smooching that goes nowhere, depictions of physical discomfort stemming from mental illness and bc it's 2175 words.

Gaura was just done with her evening routine when she heard a knock on the cabin's door. It was an easily recognizable knock, loud but dull, painting the picture of someone strong with a sizeable fist. The Watcher was stunned for a moment, surprised by the sound, then she made her way to the door, lightly smiling to herself. When she opened it, she saw Edér holding on to the handle on the other side.

'Hey,' he greeted her with a smile that carried the slightest hint of relief beneath his blatant adoration.

'Is something wrong?' The Watcher asked, prompting the farmer to blink back at her in confusion. 'You tend to turn in early.'

'Yeah, I was gonna come earlier,' Edér said as he entered the cabin, 'just wanted to make sure I didn't walk in on you and Aloth.'

Gaura closed the door and leaned against it. 'You know, it would've been fine if you did.'

The veteran chuckled as a response. 'Guess, I'm just not used to the whole relationship thing yet,' he shrugged.

'It's only been a few days, Edér, I don't expect you to be.'

'You don't wanna make up for lost time?' He asked, his lips curling into the faintest of smirks. He approached the Watcher by the door and she couldn't help but return the expression, waiting for those lips to claim hers. However Edér simply wrapped an arm around her waist, surprisingly loosely, while he placed his other hand on the door over her head, just out of reach of her flames, and waited for her answer.

'Of course, I do,' Gaura said. 'But I'm taking my time figuring things out about us... And learning how to balance...well... everything,' she laughed somewhat ruefully, wrapping her arms around the farmer's neck. 'These are uncharted waters for me as well, and for Aloth too.'

'Yeah, I know,' his face took on a slight shade of red, barely noticable under his tan. 'He said so when I asked him if I could have this night with you.'

'You asked him but not me, huh,' the Watcher squinted at him with feigned suspicion.

'Right before I came in, yeah,' he leaned in closer. 'Now I'm asking you.'

Gaura watched him for a moment, savoring his anticipation. Then she closed the gap between them as an answer. Edér kissed back slower than she expected and with a tenderness so intense, it left her awkwardly chuckling against his lips.

'Let's get you nice and fireproof first,' she said pulling away and freeing herself the roomy cage formed by his arms. She ran her fingers along her mouth, trying to make sense of the curious sense of surprise that was evoked in her, but she reached her desk in a few steps, and as she opened the drawer and took out a vial of Bulwark Against the Elements potion, she took the feeling within in her and placed it in an imaginary drawer in her mind. Then she closed both drawers with the same motion then turned around with a smile only to find Edér standing right behind her.

'Here,' she opened the vial and offered it to the farmer. He grimaced at the small bottle, then instead of simply taking it, he wrapped his hand around Gaura's and guided the vial to his lips. He closed his eyes reverently as he drank, and the sight sent a flutter down the Watcher's scalp, down her spine, right to some place within her, near the base of her waist, where a small kernel of uncomfortable softness took root. Her hand was so small in his... She was aware of Edér's size, of course, but... not quite like this. She has never felt small in his presence before.

'Let me just check if this worked real quick,' he put the bottle on the desk behind Gaura, backing her against it. She bit her lip as he ran his hand along her neck to the back of her head. But it was just a single swipe at her flames, nothing more. He let out a self-deprecating chuckle when the flames moved back into place a moment later. 'Figures,' he said as he leaned over the Watcher's neck and left a gentle, but lingering kiss on it. She braced herself, grabbing the desk behind her right, waiting for an escalation, readying herself for the veteran's momentum, that would turn each kiss of his more forceful the last. But then Edér left another kiss on her neck, and another, all of which were just as tender as the last one. Gaura felt the softness in her spread, a sense of fragility crawling up her sides and her back, weakening her to an immeasurable weight pushing down on her shoulder.

'Wait, not here,' she said, lightly pushing Edér away. 'The bed is right there,' she inclined with her head towards it, and let out a quick, relieved sigh when he turned around to follow her gaze. She took hold of his hand and pushed past him, trying to guide him, but he dragged her pack with a single pull, letting her fall against his chest. Gaura laughed as she buried her face in it.

This was what she expected of him, this carefree, uncontrolled intimacy, the comfort expressed by him not watching his strength around her. The trust he placed in her strength by doing so.

'You good?' A question came from above her and Gaura replied by beaming up at Edér.

'More than good,' she said craning her neck towards him and leaving a peck on his lower lip, trying to coax him into claiming her lips in turn.

The veteran obliged her and he guided her hands behind his head. He reached below her legs and hoisted her up, breaking the kiss, and prompting her to hold on to him with arms and legs wrapped around him.

'Show off,' a pleased grin spread on the Watcher's face.

'You're one to talk,' Edér said as he carried her to the bed and placed her on it carefully.

The Watcher let out a groan under him then closed the gap between them again. She kissed hím ravenously, with her hands pawing at his shirt, trying to pull it off him. But Edér didn't follow her pace. He kissed back slowly, and his hands moved right to hers and moved them over her head. He didn't put effort trying pin them down there, he just held them as he pulled away. And yet, Gaura felt... powerless to fight back.

'Relax, we got the whole night,' Edér smiled down at her.

'Afraid I would wear you out too quickly?' Gaura hid her growing discomfort under a challenging smirk.'Or that I couldn't handle you?'

'Aw, I know you could. Just don't want you to,' he said as he leaned down and left a kiss on her forehead. 'Don't want you to handle anything. I'm gonna take real good care of you.'

And with the impact of his lips on her skin, came the feeling of frailness in her rushing through her. Gaura shut her eyes tight and tried to fight the sensation but with each kiss Edér left on her cheek, her jaw, her collarbone, she seemed to have felt weaker, and the tension in her shoulders and in her chest felt more crushing.

'Edér, please,' she whispered, her hands darting to his shoulders, clutching on to him, unable to decide if she wanted to hold on to him or push him away.

'You... Are you alright?' She heard a question.

'I... No... I don't know.'

The next moment she felt Edér pry her legs around his waist off himself, and moved next to her on the bed. Gaura only opened her eyes when she felt the bed shift under her at the pressure of the farmer lying down. She still could only look at him for a fleeting moment, then she buried her face in her hands and hoped the flutter of her flames didn't give away her shame.

'I... I don't know what just happened. This is not a regular occurance, I swear.'

'Hey,' Edér reached for her wrist and pulled her hand away from her face. 'Look at me,' he spoke softly and the Watcher slowly turned towards him. 'Just... tell me what's wrong.'

'I don't know if I can. It... It doesn't make any sense to me either.'

'Yeah... I know how that feels.' Edér let go of her and turned his attention to the ceiling. The two of them lied side by side for a while and Gaura's strange panic eased with each moment.

'I wasn't ready for you, I guess,' she said eventually. 'Or at least not like this... Not this... Soft and gentle, I... I think I just couldn't process it.'

'Ain't that how you like things? I thought... since Aloth is... Never mind,' the Watcher could see Edér getting flushed.

'Yeah, but he's Aloth. I don't hold you to the same standard. Or... Well, I do but...' she sighed and pinched the birdge of her nose, stifling a curse she was aiming at herself. 'When he's gentle with me, I feel like he's comfortable around me. That he feels safe enough to lose himself in me and that I'm strong enough to be his shelter. But with you... I feel that way when you pat me on the back so hard I feel it in my toes. I feel that way when you hug me so tight you could crush my soul. I guess, I was just... expecting that.'

'You say that as if I ain't ever been gentle with you,' the farmer grumbled.

'You have, when you were comforting me,' Gaura turned towards him and pushed herself up by the elbow. 'I asked you for that.'

'You never had to ask.' Edér frowned up at her. There was a glint of genuine perplexion in his eyes. 'For someone whose whole deal is saving souls left and right, you sure got some weird ideas about comfort,' he sat up, 'and maybe if you learned to accept it, you wouldn't be a mess when it's given for the Hel of it.'

The Watcher looked up at him, and opened her mouth to speak. But there were no words coming out. She blinked at him, then away from him, then she plopped down on the bed and turned away with her whole body. She reached for her blanket before she realized she couldn't wrap herself in it while Edér was sitting on it behind her. She looked at her slightly outstretched hand and she noticed the outlines of it became blurry. Both from her trembling and from the tears gathering in her eyes. She pulled the hand back to her chest and as she scratched at the spot above her chimes, she tried to recall a time she didn't take her endurance for granted. When she didn't encourage others to do the same. When she didn't take on burdens after burdens, convincing herself she didn't feel the weight of them until she no longer could ignore it. When she wasn't terrified of being vulnerable.

A few moments passed as she was musing, then she felt an arm being wrapped around her belly. She took a deep breath and allowed the feeling of fragility come. She will be alright, she told herself, she has Edér with her. Gaura placed her hand on his, and caressed him with her thumb. He left a kiss on her shoulder and nuzzled her neck in turn.

'Remember the first time we met?' Edér asked. 'Not when I joined you proper, but before that.'

The Watcher nodded but otherwise stayed silent.

'I remember what you told me. You said... you needed someone to make you feel better. And... then you just went ahead and made the whole damn nation feel better,' he chuckled. 'That includes me, goes without saying. Still... that moment keeps gnawing at me. I know you meant a healer or one of those animancer folks. I know you didn't mean me. But... Been trying to be someone like that for you,' he sighed. 'I'm sorry. Didn't mean to hurt you.'

'Don't apologize,' Gaura sniffled. 'I... I needed this. I didn't know but I needed this. I should be the one apologizing. I was really unfair to you, I'm sorry.'

'Hmmm, maybe I'll hold on to my forgiveness a bit. Reckon, I'd make you work for it a bit,' he hummed against her ear teasingly.

The Watcher let out a weak laugh at that, but it lifted a great weight off her heart.

'First thing tomorrow,' she said, then a frustrated groan left her. 'Right before I have this talk with Aloth as well.'

'Need me to be there with you for that?'

Gaura looked at her hand on Edér's, listened to his breathing by her ear, and felt the warmth of his chest against her back. 'Yes, please. I'll always need you,' she said and she realized the comfort of her own words.

[notveryglittery]

birthday prince (4)

summary: patton knows that roman is the bravest, strongest hero of them all.  words: 1,500 / ship: royality (patton/roman) author’s note: this is part four of my Giving The Gay Anything He Wants series for roman’s birthday (june 4)! all ships are written implied romantic but i’m not stopping you from interpreting it otherwise. check the end notes on ao3 for credit on these gifts (bc i don’t know where to put them in this post)! i hope you enjoy!!

part 1 (roceit) | part 2 (logince) | part 3 (prinxiety) part 4 (royality) | part 5 (dlampts) read on ao3

— — —

The sun was relentless in its heat, beating down on Roman without remorse. It felt like he was baking inside of his armor. Sweat trickled down the back of his neck and he couldn’t help but squirm uncomfortably at the sensation. He held a hand up to his forehead to shield his eyes and squinted at the imposing mountain towering above him. He was mere hours from his destination and the prospect of being so close to completing his quest filled him with energy and determination. With renewed vigor, he began his ascent.

Time was lost to him as he progressed. He steadfastly ignored his aching limbs and focused instead on keeping his breathing measured. Each step was careful but sure, so as not to lose his footing or make a wrong move. Every so often, a cloud drifted across the sky, blocking out the sun, and providing him momentary relief. He passed by a number of trees, tempting him with shade and rest, but still, he pressed on. The higher he climbed, the more frequently the wind blew; this, too, helped keep his resolve up, encouraged by the breeze pushing at his back.

And finally, he found himself at the mouth of a cave. The sunshine only went so far before darkness engulfed the tunnel. He took a deep breath and marched forward. He drew his sword from its sheath and whispered “iluminar;” the blade lit up with a radiant glow, providing him a consistent source of light. While some rational part of him knew that he ought to move slowly and check for traps, the eager realization that he had reached the home stretch egged him on. Without really noticing, he’d quickly gone from a steady pace to a power walk to a dead sprint.

When he came skidding to a stop at the entrance of an open chamber, it was as if his heart was trying to jump up and out of his throat, and his breathing was strained. There, though, at the far end of the room and just barely discernible in the low light, was his love. A resounding thud interrupted him the moment he began to call out.

“Well well well,” purred his greatest enemy, “it certainly took you long enough.”

The Dragon Witch prowled back and forth, blocking Roman’s view of his dearest companion.

“Release him!” Roman shouted, darting along the walls of the cavern, and learning better the lay of the land as light fell upon the space. “And I might spare you!”

Her laughter was a rumbling echo, shaking bits of rock and dust from the ceiling. “You are funny, little prince. I’ve so missed your ridiculous demands.”

Roman stumbled, backed up, and leapt just in time to avoid the Dragon Witch’s tail sweeping his feet out from under him. From his side, he pulled a dagger. Without much aim, he threw it in her general direction, knowing at least that with a target as big as she, it would be hard to miss.

“Roman!”

Every thought rushed from his head at the sound of Patton’s cry. At the reminder of what was really at stake here, Roman came to a halt, and faced his foe. There was no saving Patton and leaving the Dragon Witch be. He had to defeat her in order to get Patton out. It was easier said than done, apparently. One beat of her wings had him knocked back and onto the ground. He slammed hard into metal bars and grunted in pain, blinking the stars from his vision.

“Oh, honey,” cooed a voice from above him.

An arm reached through its prison, one hand reaching forward to cradle his cheek. Lips pressed against his forehead, a kiss so gentle he wasn’t sure it was real.

“Show her who’s boss, sweetie,” Patton murmured.

As if by magic, all of Roman’s sore muscles and minor wounds were wiped away. He was emboldened by Patton’s gift, his strength invigorated, and he was certain now that nothing would stand in his way. He left a lingering kiss on Patton’s knuckles and retrieved his sword before standing. The Dragon Witch looked infuriatingly smug to have taken him down so easily and that, Roman decided, would simply not do.

As we expect most stories to go, our brave hero came out victorious. There were close calls — a claw too close here, teeth too sharp there — just as there were defining strikes — the final plunge of his sword into the Dragon Witch’s heart. She disappeared, scattered into ashes, and silence fell over the chamber.

“Woohoo! That’s my knight in shining armor!”

Roman startled, dropping his weapon, and darting for Patton’s prison. Without her presence to keep it locked, freeing him was no issue. Roman ignored that he hurt all over and instead, held onto Patton as if letting him go meant he’d lose him forever.

“I’m okay,” Patton reassured, taking Roman’s helmet off, and carding his fingers through his hair. “You did it! You’re amazing! I’m so proud of you.”

“Please,” Roman laughed breathlessly, clinging to Patton all the more, “it was nothing.”

Patton leaned back, taking Roman’s face in his hands. His expression was stern. “It was spectacular. I love you so much. You’re incredible.”

“Patton,” Roman whined, hoping he could blame his redness on exertion instead of blushing.

“Let’s see what treasure awaits you!” He exclaimed, allowing Roman some shred of mercy, at least.

He took Roman’s hand and pulled him along, further back into the cave. The hoard was piled all the way to the ceiling, a good 20ft of gold, jewels, and trinkets. Roman shed his heavy breastplate before they knelt down, groaning in relief at being able to move freely and stretch properly. This also meant taking Patton into his arms once more, hugging him to his chest.

“This is my favorite prize of them all,” he muttered, pressing his cheek to the top of Patton’s head.

Patton giggled. “You haven’t even seen all of your options.”

“Hmm, none could compare to you, my heart.”

“Oh, hush!”

Eventually, Patton did manage to convince Roman to at least look at what all was laid out before them. The first thing to catch his eye was a crown, embedded with gems of every color of the rainbow. It was bright and it fit him perfectly and he never wanted to take it off.

“I’m going to make special bobby pins for that one,” Patton said offhandedly. When Roman gave him a curious look, Patton returned it with a knowing expression of his own. “You wiggle, dear.”

If Roman wasn’t sure what Patton could possibly mean, it was proven hardly five minutes later. They found plenty more jewelry: bracelets with charms that all must have been picked just for him, silly bandz that looked like they might glow in the dark, and colorful hair clips in all sorts of shapes. His joy at so many accessories led to plenty of head shaking and hand fluttering; the crown only just barely stayed on and that might have had something to do with Patton keeping a careful eye on it.

“You were my hero today, Roman,” Patton told him on their way back out. “You are every day, you know?”

Roman shrugged in a noncommittal sort of way, as if he wasn’t sure whether or not he wanted to say thank you or disagree completely. His hand squeezed tight around Patton’s, though, trying to convey his gratitude. The sun was setting by the time they made it outside. It was chillier this high up on the mountain now and Roman no longer had his adrenaline to keep him warm. Not that he didn’t have something even better at his side to help with that…

“Wanna take the easy way home? I could go for some hot cocoa.”

“I like the sound of that very much,” Patton agreed.

It was only a blink and they were no longer buffeted by sharp winds but on safe stable ground instead. Whatever ailments Roman had suffered in the Fantasy Realm were left behind; now he only felt comfort, inspiration, and fondness. … Okay, maybe hunger, too.

Patton surprised him with another kiss on the cheek and then another to his lips. Roman didn’t let that one go, savoring the sweet taste of his one true love. While neither would have minded this lasting quite some time, their stomachs had other ideas in mind. They parted, giggling as their bellies growled noisily.

“Okay, okay,” Patton relented. “Dinner time.”

“Can we have pasta?”

“Sweetpea, you know we’re making all your favorites.”

“... Peach cobbler, too?”

“Duh!”

“I love you,” Roman said, as if Patton had just promised him the world.

“I know. Happy birthday, my knight.”

Going to bed that night with Patton curled up beside him, full on delicious food and drink, on love and precious reminders of everything he had, Roman couldn’t think of anywhere else he’d rather be.

[dont-cry2020]

“Guess You’re a Celebrity Now, Huh?”

Harry Styles X Reader

//inspired by an idea given to me by the wonderful @peter-andthelostboys//

//What happens when there’s a new girl at an arts college? Well, she receives anonymous portraits shoved under her door, that the notorious Harry Styles may have something to do with//

//Fluff and angst//

//this definitely isn’t my best work but I haven’t been feeling super motivated lately, so thank you for your patience. i might try and rewrite this another time bc i really love the idea//

Harry loved to draw. It was his passion. 

He was quite good at it, too, so it was really no surprise to his friends and family when he got accepted to art school in Los Angeles. 

It’s a scary thing to move all the way across the world, let alone by yourself, but Harry adjusted quickly, enjoying the warm climate that was so different from the UK.

You, on the other hand, were feeling quite lost after high school. Your parents pushed you into medical program after medical program, determined that you were going to ‘make the family proud’ and ‘become rich and smart.��

For starters, you could care less about being rich, but you decided to humor your parents by going to medical school. Yeah, it was hard. 

So incredibly hard.

So hard, in fact, that you could count the panic attacks and all nighters you pulled on two hands. 

However, you found in yourself a passion for music; whether that was writing music or playing guitar or singing, it made you feel whole. Something that medicine and doctorates degrees could never. 

As Junior year began and the weather got crisper and the air constantly smelled like cinnamon and spice, you started to feel lonely on top of the stress. Sure, you had your friends, really good friends at that, but that wasn’t the problem. You longed for someone to love, someone to hold you and help you through your ups and downs and someone for you to help through their ups and downs. But, you knew that you couldn’t handle a relationship right now, for Christ’s sake you were studying to be a goddamn doctor!

You had a boyfriend freshman year. He was kind, smart, and, much to your parent’s approval, was studying to become a pediatrician. 

But you weren’t happy. 

It was always about school and homework; never parties or holidays or even intimacy. So, you ended it, and as junior year is upon you, you haven’t had a boyfriend since. 

Your girlfriends noticed that you were lonely, so they spent their time setting you up with hot college medical students to which you indulged in, and it was fun, sure, but you still weren’t happy. 

So you did the one thing that your parents never forgave you for.

You dropped out.

You dropped out of medical school and transferred to an arts college, one that you had your eye on since freshman year, and one that was about as far away from home as you could possibly go. 

You didn’t tell your mom or dad, didn’t tell them because you already knew what they were going to say. 

“You’re ruining your future!”

“You have no chance of getting a job now!” 

They hadn’t stopped since they found out from your brother, wondering why such a smart girl would become an art student. They didn’t even know you liked art. 

You were sad to leave your friends, sure, who wouldn’t be? You loved them, but you all understood that it was for the best. You had a dream, and you were going to chase it. They stood at the gates of the airport, waving and crying and hugging you as you boarded the plane from London to LAX. 

“Here we go.”

...

Art school was weird.

There were no snobby students with 4.0 GPA’s to wave in your face, no professors that thought they were better than everyone else or classes that you dreaded going to. 

It was actually fun. Who knew that college could be fun, right?

Moving into your dorm was terrifying. You didn’t know where to go or who your roommate was going to be, and despite your previous experiences, it was already half way through the first semester, and every one else had their chances to collect their bearings. Luckily for you, you got your own room because everyone else had already moved in and had roommates.

...

Rumor had spread throughout campus that a new girl had moved in. 

“Apparently she’s English,” or “she transferred from medical school” or “she’s a music major” were all things that Harry heard walking down the halls of his dorm and through the lawn and in classes.

It seems like this new student was all anyone ever talked about. 

He couldn’t say he wasn’t intrigued, for he was English too, and curious at that, but he was an art student and you were a music student, so he never saw you around, and none of his friends had ever met you either. 

As February rolled by, you had found that you adjusted quite nicely, making a few close friends and acquainting yourself with new faces. 

The weather was probably your favorite part about this school. Back home, you would never even dream of studying outside on the lawn in the middle of the winter, but here you are, sitting in a circle with a few of your friends, talking and laughing about music and strumming your guitar. 

Harry had his headphones in walking home from class. He was tired and he really just wanted a quick nap. It was Tuesday afternoon and the sun was shining, so there were tons of people on the lawn. It wasn’t a new thing for people to be playing instruments or singing when it was nice outside, so he didn’t bat an eye when he heard strumming of a familiar song. 

But his eyes widened when he heard an accented voice that matched his own. His eyes followed a group of students, most he had seen before, but he didn’t recognize the girl with the English accent. 

She must be the new girl. 

Harry convinced himself that he didn’t want to go back to his dorm to work on his art, but it was such a beautiful day that he would sit on the lawn and sketch his little heart out. 

He found himself staring at the girl, memorizing every freckle and curve of her face, quickly looking at his lap when you caught his eye, feeling like you were being watched. 

“Who’s that?” you asked your friends, pointing at the boy sitting by himself, nose buried in his sketch book.

“That,” Jack said, eyes widening, “is Harry Styles. Probably the hottest guy on campus.”

Margot rolled her eyes. “Jack’s just mad because he’s not into guys. He’s British like you, ya know.”

“He is hot,” you say, looking over at the boy with curly brown hair and tattoos littering his arms. “I should introduce myself.”

“Yes girl, get it!” Jack cheers. Rolling your eyes, you walk over to him. 

“Can I sit?” you ask, looking down at Harry. He looks up at you eyes widening, scrambling to close the sketchbook that was full of drawings of you. He couldn’t help it, you were just so gorgeous. He nods his head slowly, eyeing you up a bit. 

“‘M y/n,” you say, holding out your hand for him to shake.

“Harry,” he says, engulfing your hand in his large tattooed one. His rings catch your eye, reflecting the light and making him look that much more intimidating. “You’re English,” he remarks, not asking, but rather telling as if you didn’t already know. 

“Yeah,” you laugh nervously, his stare making you slightly uncomfortable. 

“Sorry,” he says apologetically. “Jus’ never seen you around here.”

“‘M new. Transferred last semester.”

Harry was interesting. He was funny, sweet, but a little reserved and intimidating, too. He was an art student that looked like he was the lead singer of a rock band. He dressed in dark jeans and jumpers and wore necklaces and rings. Never what you would have expected to be attracted to, being an ex-medical student and all. But, despite your doubts, you found him very appealing. 

The conversation ended when he had to get to class, so you bid him farewell and returned to your group of friends, egging you on for every detail of your previous conversation. 

...

The week finally rolled along to Friday, and you were set to go to bed early and watch netflix alone, in proper need of some me time. Your friends, however had other ideas when they barged into your dorm with a bottle of wine and the skimpiest dress they could find. 

“Come on, y/n, please!” Jack begged you, walking to your closest and rifling through your clothes in the most extra way possible. He pulls out a pair of lacy panties and a matching bra. “All of your clothes make you look like a prude, so you’re wearing this.”

“Hey!” you say, snatching the undergarments from him and shoving them back into your drawer. “I’m so spent tonight, I really don’t feel like going out.”

“But,” Margot says, pulling your makeup out from your desk, “a certain British boy will be there.”

Suddenly all parts of you that were fatigued and not wanting to go to a party change their direction and you’re snatching the dress from Jack’s hold and going to the bathroom. 

“Forgot something, sweetie,” he teases, throwing the lacy underwear at you. 

You looked hot. You weren’t gonna lie. The black velvet dress clung to all your curves and stopped right above your knees, scrunching up on the sides with little ties. Your hair was curled and eyeliner sharp, and you honestly felt a little overdressed for a little college house party. Little did you know, LA art students don’t mess around at house parties. 

To say that heads didn’t turn when you walked in the room would be a complete lie. All eyes were on the new girl, including a familiar pair of sparkling green ones.

Harry was intrigued, to say the least, watching the new girl dance around the house, nursing a drink and laughing with her friends. He wasn’t much of a party guy himself; he had a lot of friends, sure, but he preferred just to stay home or have small get togethers with them. 

He felt himself being drawn to you, sliding in between grinding bodies and swaying slightly to the music as he neared your own dancing body. 

“D’you wanna dance with me?” Hot breath fans over the back of your neck, goosebumps erupting over your skin. Spinning on your heels, you weren’t all too surprised when you were face to face with the only other Brit in the room. His gaze flickered across your face, brow furrowed and concentrated as he set his hands on your hips. You threw your own arms around his neck giggling to yourself as you saw Harry smile for the first time since you met him. His perfect white teeth had butterflies erupting in your belly.

You danced for a while longer, all the alcohol you had consumed earlier finally catching up to you. Giggling as you lose your balance, Harry catches you, holding you still before smashing his lips to yours. 

Mere seconds felt like hours as his lips touched yours. You barely knew the guy, but for some reason it felt like the best kiss of your life. Yet, somehow, you knew you wouldn’t remember it in the morning, so you focused on the present and how he made you feel. 

He made you feel good.

It felt like nothing you had ever felt before, sparks flying and hearts pounding and every other phrase used to describe something completely and utterly amazing. You got lost in his lips, memorizing every inch. 

You pulled away, not completely unaware of the lust in the curly haired man’s green eyes. 

“I’m gonna go get a drink,” you tell him over the booming music, slipping out of his arms and entering the much quieter but still noisy kitchen. 

“Y/n! Where’d you go earlier?” Margot questioned, smirking at the lipstick smudged across your face. 

“Jus’ dancing,” you slur, getting yourself another cup of whatever alcohol was on the counter.

“Mhmm,” she says, knowingly raising her eyebrows and taking your cup, replacing it with a bottle of water. “Think you’re done.” You groan, begrudgingly taking a sip out of the bottle, your body silently thanking you for ending it’s torture. 

Harry wasn’t sure how it happened, but as soon as you left him, he was being dragged onto the dance floor by some girl, he wasn’t sure who, and was being grinded on and made out with. 

“Y/n,” Jack said, tugging Margot by the arm, eyes widening “do you want to head back to your dorm now? We know parties aren’t really your thing.”

“What! I’m having so much fun!” you sway on your heels, trying not to fall down. “Why do we have to leave I-” your heart dropped in your chest.

Harry’s tongue was dancing with some random girl’s, not even five minutes after he had kissed you. Maybe it wasn’t the end of the world, maybe you shouldn’t have been so attached to a man that you had just met and just kissed once, maybe you were drunk, but you didn’t care. It felt like your world was crashing down. 

You ran as fast as your bare feet could carry you, Jack and Margot chasing you, yelling at you to slow down, but you didn’t listen. 

Harry saw you run out of the party, pushing the girl sucking his face off and palming him through his jeans away. He thought that maybe he should go after you, but he didn’t feel like it’d be welcome. He ran his hands through his hair, eventually following your lead and leaving the party to head back to his own dorm. 

Your feet carried you all the way to your room, unlocking it and throwing yourself on the bed, mascara tears staining your pillow case. 

“Hun,” Jack says, petting your hair and pulling it back into a pony tail. “Don’t worry about this prick. He’s not worth your time.”

The rest of the night was spent with Jack and Margot holding back your hair as you threw up what seemed to be everything you’ve eaten in the past two weeks, and you crying about you didn’t even remember what anymore. 

Harry tried to sleep that night, still buzzed and tired from the party and the previous week, but he couldn’t seem to rest his racing mind. He got out of bed, only clad in a pair of boxers, and went to his desk, pulling out his sketch pad and getting to work. He drew line after line and shadow after shadow, constructing a piece that he felt genuinely proud of, something he hasn’t felt in what seemed like ages. He knew that it needed to be seen. 

...

Your head was pounding. Absolutely hammering in your head. Jack and Margot were passed out on the floor, blankets and pillows and water bottles littered the bedroom and after seeing the stains on your pillow, you really didn’t want to look in the mirror. However, you eventually had to get out of bed, throwing the covers off your bare legs and sluggishly walking into the bathroom. The best part about transferring in the middle of the year, you found, was that you didn’t have a roommate to share the bathroom with, or someone that would see you like this. 

“Holy fucking shit,” you whispered, taking in the reflection looking back at you. Your cheeks were tear-stained with black streaks of mascara, your hair was matted and had chunks of something you hoped was not throw up in it. Not to mention that you were still wearing your dress from last night, except now it was bunched around your torso like a tight potato sack. 

You stripped, throwing your clothes onto the floor and getting into the shower. The hot water cascaded down your head, wetting your hair and face and washing all of the regret away. You were in the heavenly water for a good long time, fingers starting to prune up from the steam and liquid. 

Walking back into your room, you were pleasantly surprised to see that Jack and Margot had left a note on your bed, saying that they went to get breakfast and would be back soon. You thanked God that it was Saturday and you didn’t have any classes. 

You immediately got back into bed after you dried off, pulling the covers up to your chin and closing your eyes, hoping to calm the pounding in your head just a little bit. That’s why, when there was a quiet knock on the door, you didn’t get up immediately, thinking that it was just a courtesy knock from Jack and Margot before they barged in with food. But when that didn’t come and the hallway quieted, you rolled yourself off the bed, grumbling to yourself and opening the door. 

“Hello?” you say to no one in particular, seeing as there was no one on the other side of the door. You looked around, peeking your head into the deserted hallway, before finally looking down and seeing one of those big orange manila envelopes. You figured it was something from the front desk or maybe a letter from your mom telling you how you were making a mistake, but bizarrely enough, there was no address or even name. You took one more look around the hall before going back into your room and shutting the door behind you. 

Curiously, you picked open the envelope with your fingernails, carefully ripping the paper. You pulled out the paper inside the envelope. 

Shocked was an understatement to how you were feeling. A gorgeous portrait of lines and shapes that created none other than your face. It was a little chilling, knowing that someone has been examining your face and features so closely, but also because there was no name or address...not even a note. 

“What’s that?” Jack asks, barging into the door, arms full of muffins. He throws you one, sitting down on the bed next to you and examining the paper in your lap. 

“Someone left it at my door, but there’s no note or name or anything,” you say quietly, eyes scanning the picture. “That’s weird, right?” 

“Ooh,” Margot says. “Somebody’s got a secret admirer!”

“More like a stalker,” Jack remarks, tracing the paper with his fingers. “Who do you think would do this?” 

You honestly had no clue. The only visual arts student you knew was...no. 

“Harry!” Jack says. “It has to be Harry!”

“There’s no way in hell it’s Harry,” you remark, slipping the paper back into it’s envelope and placing it onto your desk, changing the subject to the events of the previous night.

...

A few weeks later, Harry found himself drawing constantly; whether it was small sketches or bigger works, they all had one common factor; they were of the same woman he couldn’t get out of his head. 

You, on the other hand, had received quite a few more drawings stuck under your door. At first, you weren’t all that phased, but you couldn’t seem to shake the feeling that you didn’t know who was doing this. 

Margot had called it a ‘secret admirer’ but you weren’t quite sure whether it was that, or a stalker. Sure, it was sweet and all the drawings were beautiful, but how did said person find out where your room was? Or how did they know when to put the drawings by your door so they could have enough time to leave? 

Jack had suggested that you sit by the door until there’s a knock, so one night, you settled by the door, rather impatiently waiting. 

Nothing.

Still nothing.

Still nothing. 

Feeling your eyes get heavy, you let yourself go, falling limp against the door and succumbing to a deep sleep, so when you were startled awake from a knock on the wooden door, you weren’t able to register what had happened fast enough.

Sure enough, when the door swung open there was another envelope, just like all the other ones you had received, except this time, something caught your eye. 

There was a date and a time scribbled in messy handwriting: 7 PM, 2/23. 

Your brow furrowed, staring at the information written on the paper, eventually pulling our your phone and sending a picture to your friends. 

what does this mean ? you wrote, referring to the information you had received.

OMG! that’s the art show tomorrow! jack responded

you have to go now! Margot sent

You were a little creeped out to tell the truth, but you wanted nothing more than to find who the mystery artist was, and why they wanted you to go to the art show. 

It was no surprise when Jack and Margot barged into your dorm the next day, rifling through your closet and styling you. 

“It’s a goddamn art show, not a party,” you said as Jack pulled out another frumpy dress that he probably made you buy. 

“Okay, and?” he asked, fluttering his lashes that were honestly far longer than you could ever get yours.

So, here you were, standing in the middle of the art hall, hair and makeup done, looking nervously around the exhibits that other students had created. They were all really beautiful, but you found yourself being drawn to one in particular . 

A large oil painting of a girl with y/e/c and y/h/c laughing with a guitar in her hands was standing at the center of the room on an easel. The sky was painted with deep purples and blues and pinks and you couldn’t help but gape at the blending of colors. Something about the painting was familiar, but you couldn’t quite put your finger on it. 

“Mr. Styles, is this the model you used for this gorgeous work?” 

“Er... Yes, actually.”

You stop in your tracks, glancing up at the painting one more time and then turning towards the voices. Harry. 

Harry painted this. And it was a painting of you. 

You opened your mouth to say something, closing it after nothing came out. 

“You-?” you whispered, still awestruck from the fact that Harry was the artist. 

“Yeah,” he says, scratching the back of his neck and giving you a shy smile.

“And the drawings?”

He nods his head. 

You stand there in awkward silence for a moment before he motions for you to come follow him. Your steps fall in place behind his as he leads you outside into the cool February air. 

“I thought I should explain...” he says, ruffling his hair but not looking at you. “Tha’ night, at the party,” he starts, pausing for a moment to gather his words. “When I kissed ya... I felt something. And I know you did too... and then tha’ girl, whashername?”

You just shrugged your shoulders, slightly amused by the crease formed in the man’s forehead. 

“Anyways,” he continues, “doesn’t matter. But when she kissed me and I saw you run out, and she kissed me,” he emphasizes the last part, widening his eyes and you just shake your head, lips curling up into a smile. “An’ I was gonna run after you but I didn’t think I’d be welcome... so I knew I needed to make it up to you... and after I met you on the lawn I couldn’t get the image of you laughing with your friends outta my head and I just knew I had to draw you and-” he continues to ramble on, but you just shush him, gripping your shirt in your fists and pressing your lips to his. 

He trips slighty but you hold him into place by the fabric of his shirt, his hands eventually sliding onto the small of your back. 

“D’ya wanna go out with me?” he asks as you pull away, his eyes glimmering in the sunset as you both catch your breaths. 

“Yes,” you say, laughing slightly. “I do.”

Harry called you a few days later, asking if you wanted to go get coffee at a shop that he went to often. You obliged, saying that you would love to, ‘forgetting’ to tell your two best friends so they would leave you be to get ready. 

You were excited; it was your first real date with Harry, and you liked him a lot. You had chemistry and it was clear as water to anyone who saw. 

Walking into the coffee shop and looking around, Harry’s arm waving at you caught your eye. He gave you a warm smile, gesturing to sit at the seat across from him. 

“Hey,” you say, greeting him. 

“Hi,” he says, pulling your chair out for you before sitting down in his own seat. “I ordered you a latte. I hope that’s okay?”

“Perfect,” you say, pulling the coffee to your lips, choking on it at the sight of a certain painting hanging on the wall. 

“Har- that’s- that’s your painting!” you tell him. He only smirks and nods his head. 

“’S on display,” he says, resting his head on his hand. “Thought everyone should have the pleasure of looking the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen.”

You blush, taking another sip of your latte, before a little kid comes up to you, chocolate smudged across his face. 

“Is that you?” he says, pointing a chubby finger at the picture. You chuckle. 

“Yeah, actually, it is.” you say, smiling at his mom as she apologetically takes her boy by the hand. 

“Guess you’re a celebrity now, huh?” Harry says. 

“You made me famous,” you tell him, grinning at the green eyed boy in front of you.

[snarkwrites]

sprung spring | milf is not a bad word | eddie brock {m}

PROMPTS USED:

“Milf isn’t a bad word.” + Neighbors / friends with benefits + single mom au + “Did you just slap my ass?” / “Actually, I firmly grasped it.” / “Did you just quote Spongebob?” + heavy flirting / teasing + “Apparently all our friends have a bet going that we end up together. + on the kitchen table + quickie

NOTES:

Okay, warning here... I haven’t really ever... written Eddie before. So, this is just the way I kinda see him and my thirst combined... Nobody kill me pls?

Also, if enough people bother me, I miiight be tempted to make a fic of this at some point bc I do have some ideas...

WARNINGS:

Uhh.. almost sex on a table, bad humor ( Eddie, ftw ), sappy moments (Eddie... again.) unprotected sex, 69 / oral sex and body fluids.. Oh and a nosy sentinent who pops in and out at the beginning ( lookin at you, Venom, you lil shit.) 

PAIRING:

Eddie Brock x OFC, Maya

TAGGING:

@micolegg​ | @missjenniferb​ | @cabotcoves​ | @kyleoreillysknee​ | @chasingeverybreaking wave bc they asked / are into Eddie and/or are on my taglist. If you wanna be tagged in my multifandom stuff, please go [here] and add yourself. 

Hunk ← Lucy is spending the night with my sister, so… If you wanted to come by…

Hunk ← There’s something we need to talk about. If that’s okay with you?

Hunk ← Also, you realize you don’t play fair, right? That voice of yours on the radio this morning… I have not been able to get it out of my head all day.

Maya almost deleted the texts and didn’t send them, but she took a deep breath and hit send instead. Rita was right. She needed to stop dancing around it and go for what she wanted. The longer she waited, the more reason she gave herself to chicken out. And Eddie Brock made her happier than she’d been in a really long time. Eddie and Lucy got along well, he doted on her. Lucy loved Eddie to death, even when Venom decided to crop up in the middle of storytime some nights. Things just felt right with Eddie.

Tonight, Maya thought to herself with a silly grin, tonight is the night I tell him I’m done keeping us low key. I know that’s been bothering him and I need to fix that. She placed her phone on the counter and stripped down, stepping beneath the warm water. By the time she’d finished her shower, her cell phone was ringing.

She stepped out of the shower and grabbed for it, thinking it would be Eddie. When she realized it was Randy, another neighbor who’s relentless pursuit as of late was growing tiresome, she frowned at the phone and answered.

“Randy, hi.” “Hey, I was wondering…Are you busy tonight?”

… Hopefully… Maya thought to herself as she bit her lip and listened to Randy’s idea for a date, his pleading with her to give him one chance as she dug around in her closet, trying to settle on an outfit for the night, … I should just answer the door naked… that’ll really throw Eddie for a loop…

“So.. about that date?” Randy finished up, pacing his living room, scowling to himself when Maya offered up an excuse for a third time, “I’m real busy. Trying to finish remodeling Lucy’s big girl bedroom… Maybe later?”. He took a deep breath, reminded himself that if he wanted her, he had to keep trying and he offered to come over later and help out, frowning when he heard dial tone and realized that Maya had abruptly ended the call before he even got the offer out. Maya put her phone back down, rolling her eyes. Randy wasn’t fooling anyone. He was irritated and frankly, coming off a little pushy with his advances lately and honestly, Maya didn’t care because she’d made her mind up and she was over Randy’s attempts. Taking herself off the market.

She hadn’t clicked with him like she’d clicked with Eddie. Putting the conversation out of her mind, she stared anxiously at her cell phone. Eddie hadn’t texted back yet and it wasn’t like him. Just as she was about to sit down the phone again, it lit up.

She bit her lip as she realized that Eddie was texting back.

--

Eddie stared intently at the cell phone in her hand. Bumping into his ex and her new fiance earlier had him really thinking about his own thing with Maya. And apparently, it wasn’t just him thinking about it, because as he tried to come up with a response, Venom butted in ,, Tell her how you feel, Eddie Brock. Tell her that you no longer wish to keep things private.”

“But I don’t wanna make her uncomfortable, either. There’s a way to do shit, buddy.” Eddie muttered as he took a deep breath, biting back a quiet groan at her slightly suggestive second text. By the time he reached the third one, he was torn between anxious and horny. Anxious because she hinted that they needed to talk and in his past, that had never been a good thing and horny because the whole tone of the string of texts was… Somewhat racier than normal for her. He was getting mixed feelings here and he wasn’t sure how to respond.

Kitten → On my way now. Too bad Luce is at Rita’s. Venom was gonna share these chicken nuggets with her. ;P Kitten → Oh? What about, hm? Kitten → Hey, listen… If my voice was stuck in your head all day, consider it payback because I have not been able to stop thinkin about you all day either.

“I’m a fuckin sap, that’s what I am.” Eddie shoved the phone back into his pockets, slipping the motorcycle helmet down over his head and straddling his motorcycle, revving the engine. The drive across town seemed to both fly by and take hours and by the time he was parking his motorcycle at the curb in front of the 2 story townhouse next door to his own, he’d already started to brace himself in preparation of what she might want to talk to him about.

By the time he was standing in front of her door, she was opening it, pulling him through the door and into the house by the collars of his leather jacket. Her body molded against his and she rose to tiptoe, crashing glossy and soft red lips against his mouth almost hungrily. His hands moved down her back, stopping on her ass, squeezing and rubbing. It made her rub against him and she gave a needy little whimper as Eddie muttered amused into the kiss, “Thought you said ya needed to talk to me, hm?”

,, Let it be, Eddie Brock” Venom piped up. But naturally Venom would be in favor of… whatever was happening right now, because Venom had apparently ‘bonded’ with the two females in question.

,, So have you, Eddie Brock.” Venom took joy in reminding him. Eddie cleared his throat as a warning for Venom to pipe down and thought his answer, ,, yeah well, you know how the whole we gotta talk thing goes, buddy”.

Once Venom was silent again, amusing himself within, Eddie turned his attention back to waiting on Maya to say something. Instead, she seemed to be distracted, her hands resting against his jacket, working it down and off his body, tossing it at the bench next to the door where her purse and keys sat. Eddie chuckled against her mouth as he muttered again, “Not gonna answer me, kitten?”

Maya pouted up at him, pulling away to catch her breath, heavily distracted at the moment. Her heart was racing in her chest and she knew that he’d be curious and that she couldn’t just show him how she truly felt about their current arrangement, she’d actually have to tell him too, but for some reason, it all seemed so much easier in her head.

… because if I keep the words in my head just a little longer, then this can’t go badly… He can’t just decide that this is too serious for him and end it… the thought had her frowning a little and trying to shove it out as quickly as it came. She pressed into him a little more, Eddie’s back meeting the door frame with a soft smack as his arms wrapped around her and he gazed down at her, slightly panicked look in those blue green eyes of his.

Again, she took a deep breath, locking eyes with him this time. “Well, I’ve been thinking and I… I can’t keep on like this…”

His face fell and Maya swore, giving a soft laugh as she shook her head. “I’m not breaking it off, you dork. Will you let me explain? Please?”

Eddie took a deep breath, preparing himself. ,, Sure, she’s sayin she’s not endin things. Means nothin.” he thought as he gave a nod. “I’m listenin, kitten.”

“Well, all our friends have a bet going on...And earlier, me and Rita were talking… And it made me realize something… I don’t want to keep this just between us. I don’t want this to just be hooking up all the time or spending nights at each other’s place.. I mean I love it, don’t get me wrong but I… I want more, okay? I want you. And me.. Together.” Maya finished rambling, gazing down at the front of his tee shirt intently, walking her fingers up and down his chest as she held her breath.

Was she about to lose him? Why was it taking so long for him to answer?

Eddie’s jaw dropped, because he hadn’t been expecting her to say that,  at all. He’d been expecting her to end things.

,, Well? Are you going to answer her, Eddie Brock?” Venom roared to life, almost insistent. Eddie cleared his throat in warning again and after a second or two, his mouth opening and closing as he dragged his palm over the back of his head, it hit him.

The whole reason he’d been feeling antsy and restless lately was because she seemed to be in favor of keeping this between the two of them. She didn’t want more and he did. Rather than waste even more time, because he could see it in those big brown eyes of hers, she was starting to panic a little, he slid her up his body, stepping across the hall and into her kitchen and dining room, sitting her on the counter as his mouth attacked her own hungrily, messy and biting sloppy kisses, the soft smacking sound of mouth against mouth filling the quiet and sexually charged tension between the two of them.

“Fuckin awesome.” he breathed against her neck, the warmth of his breath tickling her skin as she wrapped her legs around his hips and laughed softly. He was leaning in closer, nearly pressing her back against the table, muttering almost distractedly, “I was going to take you to bed but I just don’t think we’re gonna make it.”

The knock on her patio door had the pair springing apart and Eddie scowling as he glanced back. Randy, Maya’s neighbor on the opposite side stood there, gaping, giving Eddie a glare that had Eddie rolling his eyes. Maya swore to herself and muttered against Eddie’s neck breathlessly, “What the fuck made him think I wanted him to come over, I wonder?”

“Well, to be fair, kitten… you’re kinda passive. Took you five minutes of dancing around it to tell me to get lost that night I came by.”

“Yeah, but I didn’t want you to get lost. I want him to get lost.” Maya nodded to the patio, giving a sarcastic wave of sorts at Randy, who was still outside knocking.

“Maybe we should give him a show, huh?” Eddie teased, but Maya rubbed herself against him, her arms wrapping tighter around his neck as she mumbled lazily against his lips, “Don’t you dare tempt me, Eddie.”

“Maybe I want to tempt you.” Eddie laughed, the corner of her mouth connecting with his mouth lazily as he went in for another kiss. She pouted and cleared her throat, nodding to the door and reluctantly, Eddie pried himself away from her, walking over to the patio door, sliding it open long enough to say, “Hey Randy… Maya’s busy right now. Try not coming back, yeah?” and sliding the door shut, locking it behind him because something about the guy just screamed creepy as hell and frankly, Eddie wasn’t in the mood to let Venom out to play, ruining his own current fun for the night.

He scooped Maya off her kitchen table, carrying her up the stairs, kicking the door to her bedroom open with his foot and stepping inside. After sweeping the top of the dresser free of the clothes on top of it, he was stepping between her legs, his mouth latching onto her bottom lip, sucking as his hands went straight for the tie in the leopard print silk robe.

The robe pooled around her and Eddie gave a quiet growl as his eyes roamed over her body and he smirked. “Well shit, kitten.” he raked a hand over his head, flashing her a teasing smirk, “You know tearing off your clothes is the fun part, right? The hell am I supposed to do now?” as he tilted her head to the side, pushing her hair out of the way, his mouth moving down the side of her neck, littering soft skin with bite and suck marks as his hands moved up and down her body. Her legs wrapped around his hips, squeezing tight and Eddie groaned quietly when she rubbed herself against him again, more urgently.

“Well, you could fuck me.” Maya managed to whimper as her mouth moved down the front of his throat, leaving marks of her own behind on him, smirking as she did so. Her hands went down to the hem of his tee shirt and she started to tug it upward and throwing it onto her bedroom floor as soon as she had it over his head, lowering her mouth and  settling it sporadically on his chest and abdomen in various spots after slipping off the top of the dresser, stepping so that she stood in front of him. His eyes fluttered open and shut as the blunt of her teeth scraped at his chest, her mouth latching onto a patch of skin, sucking. Fingertips dug into her body and he stared down at her, muttering quietly, “ Oh no, kitten. What I’m about to do to you is more than fuckin you. We’re past fuckin you now, kitten. This is making love.” as she stared back up at him, biting her lip, her hand hovering over the button on his favorite pair of jeans.

She gave a soft smile and a giggle, working the button out of the buttonhole and then slowly unzipping his jeans, giving a tug to jeans and underwear so that they hit the floor. As her lips moved in a line over his abdomen, he tensed and a growl slipped out of his mouth, his fingers catching in her hair as she hit her knees in front of him. Her tongue danced over the tip of his cock and as she took more of him into her mouth, he groaned, thrusting carefully against her mouth, his head falling back as his fingers curled, gripping the edges of the dresser, pressing his back into it just a little more in an attempt to stay on his feet. “Fuck.” his toes curled against hardwood flooring and the hand tangled in her hair tugged at it as he thrust his hips against her mouth a little faster and she took him deeper in her throat, teasing her tongue over the vein that ran the length of his cock.

“Kitten, look up at me.” Eddie coaxed, staring down at her intently, an adoring and oh so hungry look in his eyes as they locked on her.

Maya pulled away, wiping at her mouth, biting that lip. Eddie nodded to the queen sized bed behind her and leaning down, he gripped her chin, pulling her mouth against him as he muttered into a deep and almost bruising kiss, “On the bed, kitten. Right now. On your knees...”

Maya swallowed hard, slinking over to the bed, settling on it on all fours and Eddie made his way over, flopping down, the mattresses giving a slow creak at the sudden motion. Once he’d settled in, he reached up, gripping Maya’s hips and pulling her up his body, his nose bumping against her cunt as he inhaled deep and growled quietly. “ Wanted to make this fair, kitten.” Eddie muttered as his tongue traveled up the inside of her thighs, and her mouth wrapped around his cock all over again, her head bobbing up and down. As his tongue worked over her clit and then his lips latched on, she whimpered aloud, her body tensing a little, the humming sound she made vibrating through his length and making him grip her hips tighter, rocking them back against his face as he continued to suck at her clit. Maya’s hands gripped his thighs and for a few seconds, it felt so good that she almost forgot to breathe, the bobbing of her mouth as she took him deeper into her throat. The sucking sounds of his mouth latching onto her clit over and over shattered through the silence, competing with the sound of her tongue lapping greedily at his cock. His grip on her hips tightened and he growled, feeling her starting to drip, his tongue darting down her inner thigh to clean up the mess, smirking against soft skin as he did so.

“So fucking sweet. Like candy.” Eddie mused, his teeth scraping against her thigh, latching on erratically, littering up the insides with bite and suck marks, starting the slow and torturous journey back up, his nose bumping against her cunt, Eddie inhaling deep and latching his teeth onto dripping folds as the suction from her mouth tightened around his cock. “Fuck. That’s it, kitten.” his voice came out more of a growl than anything, and he plunged his tongue deep into her dripping sex, slurping and licking her clean as he felt her legs starting to shake. “Get on your back, kitten. Let me take care of you, hm?” his breath tickled the insides of her thighs and her cunt as he muttered the words quietly against.

All Maya could do was nod, let him pull her down onto the bed. As he settled himself on top of her, she went to wrap her legs around him but instead, she bent them at the knee, resting a leg on either side of his body as he lined himself up, his face lowering, his mouth crashing against her own hungrily as his teeth tugged at her lips, kissing until she felt her lips aching and swelling on impact.

Tonight felt different. There wasn’t any rush, they weren’t just tearing each other’s clothes off and going at it like they’d gone mad. Eddie caught her gaze as his cock sank into her, inch by inch. He bit his lip and gave her that crooked grin, leaning down to mutter lazily against her mouth, “Ah, this was better than a quickie on the kitchen table anyway, right kitten?”

“Fuck.. Oh god yes.” Maya breathed against his neck as she dug her fingers into his shoulders and tugged at his hair, rocking her hips upward to meet his slow and deep drives, the smack of skin against skin competing with the quiet creaking of the bed beneath them with every little move they made. His hips connected with her body hard; almost enough to leave bruising behind. His mouth latched onto her neck, dancing across her throat, littering her skin with more bite marks and bruises and when it met her mouth again, she was almost breathless. She held on tighter, a muffled sigh soft against his neck, sending a shiver racing through him as he chuckled and stopped, planting noisy and playful kisses on her face. “That sigh was a good thing right, kitten?”

“A very good thing, Eddie.” Maya crashed her mouth against his, softly smiling into the kiss. He tilted her hips upward slightly, driving into her deep and slow, over and over, almost as if he were hell bent on fucking her deep into the mattress on her bed, that goofy smirk on his face as his gaze settled on her, pinned below. “Good.” he muttered softly against the shell of her ear as he buried his cock inside her even deeper, panting against her ear, “Because all I wanna do is make ya happy, kitten. You know that, yeah?”

“Yes.” Maya moaned, her head tilting, her eyes fluttering open and shut. Her orgasm was building at almost a blinding speed and she was literally almost seeing stars, her body tense, her grip on Eddie tight and only getting tighter, “Oh fuck.. Yeah baby, c’mon.. Faster. Please?”

Eddie chuckled, shaking his head no. “We got all night, you and me.” “But… ah fuck… I’m so close, please.” Maya whimpered out, her teeth grazing against the edge of his ear as her legs gripped his hips tighter and she rocked herself up against him, trying desperately to get her own way, pouting when Eddie’s hips pinned her in tighter. Eddie growled against her mouth, his teeth tugging at her lower lip, his lips clenching around it as he muttered with a dark chuckle, “Not yet, kitten. You gonna be good for me?”

“Yes.” Maya said it quickly, because he was starting to slow to a full stop and she wanted him to keep going, keep fucking into her like he was because it felt too good for him to stop now. And she knew what a tease he could be.

“So wet, kitten. Feels so good, burying my cock inside you.” Eddie grunted against her throat as his mouth danced over it, his teeth latching sporadically in different spots. Oh, he was making it his mission to leave her completely covered in his marks.

He wanted it obvious whose woman she was now. If he could, he’d hire a skywriter and have them fly over the city, advertising it. His heart raced at the reminder that she wanted to be with him. He still hadn’t fully gotten his head around it.

“You’re mine. Right, kitten?” Eddie breathed against her skin, catching her gaze, flashing her that smirk she loved so much. Maya bit her lip and nodded, no hesitation. “All yours, baby.” she clung to him as he continued to fuck into her, slow and deep. His cock slammed into her G spot over and over and all she could do was moan and whimper, begging for her release.

Eddie groaned as he felt himself getting even closer. He tried stopping again, it didn’t work. Staring down at her, he bit his lip. “You gonna cum for me, kitten?”

“Yes.. Fuck yes.” Maya moaned out, digging her nails into his shoulders and dragging them down his back, making him buck into her harder and faster, so fast that the smack of skin against skin echoed through the room and almost overpowered the sound of her headboard hitting the wall at a steady pace. HIs hips stammered and she rocked herself against his thrusts eagerly, her orgasm ripping through, leaving her shaking and moaning, whimpering his name even louder, Eddie joining in when he felt her walls vise his cock, milking him of his seed, his mouth crashing against her mouth, deep and heavy kisses, the soft sound of their smacking lips and heavy breathing filling the air as he fucked them both through their orgasm.

Spent and sated, Maya pulled Eddie down on top of her and Eddie rolled onto the mattress, pulling her into his arms, kissing the bridge of her nose as she nuzzled against him. “Fuck. I know I say this every time, kitten, but that was amazing.” Eddie muttered, raising a hand to brush hair out of her eyes.

“It always is, baby. Are you thirsty? I can go get us some water.” “A little, yeah. Don’t want you to move though.” Eddie pouted as Maya pried herself out of his embrace and stood, tugging his tee shirt down over her head. Eddie reached out, lightly smacking her ass and Maya turned, poking out her tongue. “Did you just smack my ass?”

“Actually, I firmly grasped it.” Eddie chuckled, pulling her back down onto the edge of the bed. Maya laughed against his mouth, “You totally just quoted Spongebob… This isn’t getting us water, baby.”

“Okay, fine.. But hurry back, kitten. A guy gets lonely up here without ya.” Eddie planted a noisy kiss on her lips and let her loose so that she could go downstairs and get them both a glass of water...

[painfog]

Hey so I saw you mention top surgery and was curious. I was supposed to be having top surgery this summer but that’s postponed. I was curious how that went with chronic pain? I’m scared about the surgical binder with my fibro and back pain. Any advice or info would be greatly appreciated!! (You can answer privately if you prefer)

ive actually been meaning to write up a big post on this pretty much since i had top surgery but still haven't got around to it yet so I'm happy to talk about it lol. ill go over stuff now n still aim to do a more in depth post later when im on my laptop (but writing this now bc i tend to forget everything haha). ill stick to the more fibro / chronic illness specific stuff & stuff i wasnt expecting rather than rehashing everything. apologies im on mobile so i cant put this under a cut

firstly, im sorry ur surgery got postponed! i know that must be gutting, so i hope it gets rescheduled asap & the time until then passes easily for u ❤️

I had double incision with free nipple grafts on the 4th of september 2019 with Mr Miles Berry at the london wellbeck hospital. i think he did an amazing job and can't recommend him enough for his work! i think the last pics i took of my chest were for tdov, and ill rb them after i post this for reference. i didnt have drains at any point of the surgery

for ppl with fibro, i was told that the pain after surgery either tends to trigger a flareup, or be really easily manageable, and it's hard to predict which it will be beforehand. its best to prepare for a flareup and be pleasently surprised if u dont get one. for me, i had a flareup that sucked but wasnt too bad as far as flareups go

you'll probably get given painkillers. take them regularly. it's easier to treat pain preemptively. if u don't get given them (no idea how it works outside of the uk) id say def get codine and paracetamol. u can't take ibuprofen for a while

i woke up from aneasthetic freezing cold + in a lot of pain. apparently most ppl dont need the full dose of morphine, but i did. after that it was a bit better. i was just So Goddamn Hungry literally it's all i was talking about

that night in hospital was probably one of the most uncomfortable in my life. you have to sleep sitting up for like blood reasons, so my back pain was quite bad bc of it. moving around a bit and adjusting pillows helped. if u have anything that normally helps ur back pain bring it with u to the hospital, & dont be afraid to ask the nurses for help with it (even if they can just adjust ur pillows for u). i couldnt rly sleep much but distraction helps. bring ur phone + headphones. i did a few ask memes when i couldnt sleep

the first week from surgery was rly tough, the first few days especially. this was bc i still had to sleep elevated for a few days and i couldnt get comfortable. i was too exhausted to do anything but couldn't sleep and it rly started to get me down. then i got some sleeping tablets (just nytol) and that helped so much. i literally cannot recommend it enough bc the not sleeping properly made everything hard (and like esp because with fibro the whole pain/fatigue/depression cycle is so real). once i started sleeping better recovery became a lot easier, and the tablets made the awkward sleeping positions more manageable. if i had to give only one bit of advice this would be it

on that note, ik everyone says this but do get a V pillow. it helps u adjust to sleeping on ur back and if u sleep on ur side normally it means u can like lean slightly sideways on it which makes it sm easier. also this isn't even top related but they make good back pillows when ur watching stuff in bed even now

get urself some video games (if ur into them) and easy entertainment shows lined up for when u wanna have them. recovering from major surgery makes ur fatigue even more pronounced so ur not going to be able to do all that much, but having light entertainment ready to go stops u getting as bored. its also a good excuse to finally play/watch the things you've been meaning to for a while

go outside when u can. if u have a garden just walk around it. it helps with a lot of stuff, and idk about u but i always forget how much it does. even just helping u sleep better if u get trapped in a fibro fatigued-but-can't-sleep cycle. and it goes so far helping u feel human in the first week

the first week is rly hard for a lot of ppl - its frustrating to have all that pain and exhaustion and not being able to wash or change the binder, and with the swelling and bandages under the binder it doesn't really feel like there's much change, which all sort of adds together. i keep going on about this week bc it helps to mentally prepare for it - there's no need to dread it, you just need to remind urself how worth it itll all be and that the rest of recovery is a lot better than the first part, and in time it won't have seemed that bad. big picture stuff

when u get the chest reveal, everything's better. i didnt stop smiling. and when u put the post op binder on afterwards, without all the bandaging, u like feel for the first time how much flatter u are??? and its amazing. even with the swelling. and then u get to shower and u feel human again and its great. (ik some ppl have their post ops/chest reveals much earlier than a week, but 5 days to a week is pretty standard in the uk. mine was 6 days i think)

more post op binder stuff: i got given 2. the first one i woke up in after the surgery and wasn't allowed to take off until my post op, and the second one i got given at my post op to change into after i showered. After that i alternated every few days. whatever u get given, if u get less than 2 i recommend getting another one so u can alternate them (if u want help sourcing them hmu. ive also still got mine i need to give away)

the post op binders were actually a lot easier to wear full time than normal binders. they were like more stretchy, and stretchy the full way round (bc they dont have the compression bit at the front). i used to sleep in my normal binder every time i slept with my ex, and that hurt like a motherfuck sometimes. the post op binder was much kinder to my ribs

i had to wear the post op binder full time, taking it off like once a day to shower n let my chest breathe (and massage my scars once i started that). some surgeons arent that strict abt wearing it that long, but it really helps swelling, & bc i didnt have drains it was rly important to stop fluid buildup. ik quite a few guys in my trans groups who stopped wearing their binder fairly early and then got quite a lot of swelling so i didn't want to risk it & i wore it for the full 6 weeks. at some point (icr when but maybe at 6 weeks? bc my post op was at 8 weeks bc he was on holiday) i didnt wear it during the day and only wore it at night

all in all the binder didnt bother me that much. it was more comfortable than my regular binders and i just kinda got on with it. it was annoying tho and i was glad when i could stop wearing it. for me the most annoying part was that it was a full length binder (i always wore half length before) and the riding up at the hips was rly irritating. i actually quite liked sleeping with it tho it was a pretty nice pressure stim ahah

some post op binders r more comfortable than others. if u have to buy ur own, i rly suggest going with a proper surgical one (they arent too hard to find second hand for free or cheap, again im happy to help here) bc they're kinder to chronic pain. i know that having a comfortable post op binder made it all a lot easier for me. there are also lots of alternatives w lots of price ranges tho, so that's not ur only option

ok i think thats everything right now! sorry its so long, but let me know if u have any questions!!

finally: before i got top ppl told me that its honestly life changing, and i didnt realise how true that would be. literally every single aspect of my life is at least partially better because of it, and most of them drastically so. I'm really excited for you to get that for yourself, and im wishing u all the best for it 💕

[kagayamasthighs]

weeeee hi min! i came across ur blog n ab to dive into ur works (am pumped) but first saw that u just got ur tongue pierced and im SO CURIOUS— how was the pain level/healing process been?? (only if u dont mind me asking!) im highkey a wimp and just got a diff piercing done myself but ngl was eyeing that for a hot sec, only the place i went to wasnt doing below mask piercings. but i’m considering!!

tongue piercing stuff

hihi!! i’m so happy you found my blog 🥺 i’m gonna answer your questions and also add some other stuff that might be helpful!

is it painful?

ok so I have a pretty high pain tolerance?? built: different but when i got it done, the feeling was similar to what a lot of other people have said online about the pain. i expected it to hurt a lot more than it did, it just kind of felt like when you bite your tongue by mistake but for a longer period of time? the pain doesn’t get progressively worse or anything while they’re getting the jewelry ready to go in the new piercing it just? kinda remains the same. Once the jewelry is in, it doesn’t hurt as badly. like immediately after i had it done I could talk pretty normally and stick my tongue out without much pain

how long does it take to heal?

generally, tongue piercings take 4-6 weeks to heal which is super fast! mucous membranes like the tongue bounce back really quickly! when you first get your tongue pierced, the bar is really long (5/8 of an inch or 7/8 of an inch long, depending on your tongue) so that there’s lots of room for it to swell. after the 4-6 weeks you can go back to your piercer and they’ll put in a shorter bar for you, sometimes even for free!

recovery essentials

these are some things that are essential for the recovery process (please follow your piercer’s instructions!! i’m not a licensed piercer, this is all my personal experience):

a new, soft bristled tooth brush (i bought a pack of kids’ toothbrushes from cvs)

a good, alcohol free mouthwash. most piercers recommend biotene, and I like it a lot because it’s made to help with dry mouth, and the first few days i was just chilling with my mouth open because the swelling made closing my mouth all the way a little uncomfy. Brush your teeth and rinse with mouthwash after consuming anything other than water (sometimes i just rinse with mouthwash or saline solution though)

distilled water and non-iodized, natural sea salt (warm up the water, adding 1/4tsp salt to every cup of water) to make a saline solution. swishing a little warm saline solution really helps with the healing process and makes it feel much better during the early days of healing

pain reliever! i got motrin because it’s also an anti-inflammatory.

ice! i crushed a little ice at a time in the blender and just?? ate little spoonfuls of it for the first 5 or so days

also i’d avoid spicy food/ any food that’s intensely flavored (like salt and vinegar chips or sour candy) for about a week at least bc that shit hurted me ;~; i had salt and vinegar chips on day 8 and my tongue was like pls stoP but like,,, i paid money for the chips so i ate them and suffered

recovery process

(i’m currently on day 11, so i’ll only be able to tell you about what’s happened so far dshjfsgjkghsg)

day 1: some slight discomfort when talking, not a whole lot of noticeable swelling. for some reason as soon as i got home my stupid ass tried to eat a banana and it kinda hurt unless i took really little bites. eating feels really weird and hurts a bit at first. 

day 2: i woke up and the swelling was worse than on day one. The pain was a bit worse too? but that might have just been me not noticing the pain as much on day 1 because the adrenaline of actually going out and getting it done haha.  talking makes the pain worse, and sticking my tongue out was pretty uncomfortable too. i think i ate mac and cheese? the pain and swelling weren’t super bad so i was confident i’d be good eating it

day 3: ok so day 3 is are when the swelling usually hits its peak: it usually doesn’t get any more swollen than it is on day 3. that being said shit was VERY swollen, all my meals were smoothies of some sort. I ate lots of ice but had to use a tiny spoon because opening my mouth super big hURT. 

day 4: my tongue was still pretty swollen, slightly less than day 3, but not like noticeably better. more smoothies. more ice

day 5: i noticed that the swelling was getting better on day 5 but it still wasn’t super close to normal. might have had pasta? i think? 

day 6: i don’t know about day 5 but im positive i had pasta by day 6. Swelling was still noticeable but it was going down. not very painful! just felt a twinge if i tried to stick my tongue out or moved my tongue around a lot.

day 7: swelling was still going down! much closer to normal than day 3 though. very close to normal i think. i found out i can eat most things (like,,, texture wise. spicy food is still a no go) without much trouble by this point any pain was more like,,, soreness? overall not bad. the pain was so minimal i’d just?? forget to take it every 4-6 hours and only took it when i noticed it was kinda painful

day 8: by day 8 i felt pretty much back to normal and didn’t need to take pain relievers. i didn’t really notice my tongue feeling or looking very swollen either so i got overconfident and had some potato chips. texture wise? i was pretty ok eating them, i just had to be careful. but my stupid ass thought salt and vinegar would be a good flavor to try having. it was not a good idea, and it stung but like,,, i bought them so i ate them anyway

day 9 - now: totally normal!! but it’s important to keep rinsing and brushing extra because even though it feels fine it’s still healing

let me know if there’s anything else you wanna know! i hope this helps!! and thank you for following me @scrappydaisies !!

[thinger-strang]

no one dies and everyone's gay au

Nancy finds Barb when she gets stuck in the Upside Down when she's in the forest with Jonathan (don't ask me about the logistics) and so Steve ends up finding Jonathan and Barb in Nancy's room? And he's confused because at first he'd just seen Jon and thought Nancy was cheating but then he saw Barb walk into the room? (traumatic sleepover time! except Jon stays on the ground and Barb and Nance cuddle on the bed bc they're best friends and BARB WAS MISSING FOR LIKE TWO DAYS I THINK? she deserves snugs)

But Tommy and Carol started talking about how Nancy was probably sleeping with both, everyone knew Barb was the biggest d*ke in Hawkins, Nancy probably got curious about the other side!

He doesn't necessarily agree but still doesn't stop Tommy from spray painting the theater (because Nancy still lied to him? Lying generally meant there was something? going on? idk Steve's just confused and a little hurt rn)

The rest of the season goes pretty much the same, Barb's just there trying to not die and trying to help the Gang™ find Will and fight this bitch ass demogorgon (I don't think she's really be part of the Nancy and Jonathan luring it to the house and fighting it, she'd help with set up and the plan but I think she'd fuck right off when it comes down to facing it, she's had enough monsters for one life time thx)

But she'd so wanna help get Will out so she's there with Joyce and everyone talking to El while she's in the bath finding Will and talking Hop and Joyce about the Upside Down

(and she's been to the hospital, she didn't get a face sucking monster thing so she recovered quicker? idk don't ask logistics again lmao)

But she and Will end up getting along and sometimes when she's hanging out with Nancy and the party comes over she'll say hi to Will and like ruffle his hair

(also I want a little scene after the big monster hunting trip scene where a) Nancy and Jonathan explain everything to Steve and b) where Steve sees Barb again and pulls her into the biggest hug and starts like apologizing for not paying attention that night and for letting her get taken and even though she assured him it wasn't his fault he still feels guilty about it, it was his house, he should have helped her bandage her hand or something? idk but this right here is the beginning of the Barb/Steve friendship and the start of the "fall of King Steve")

cue s2

and so the four get really close, Jonathan and Steve are actually friends (idk what s2 was pulling but they're friends) and Barb talks to Nancy about Steve and Jonathan and Nancy ends up breaking up with Steve way earlier (bc you know none of that drama would have happened if Barb was there so)

But they're all still good friends, Steve's cool about the break up, and Nancy and Jonathan get together but it's not like right after? so it's all chill and they all went through a dramatic experience together so they remain close knit yeah

and Barb eventually comes out to them (everyone's supportive obviously) and Steve's is ready to throw down with anyone for her

cue Billy

the four of them are sizing up the new guy, Nancy doesn't really care, Jonathan thinks his hair is a little ridiculous (which I mean, that first day? when he steps out of the Camaro? yeah it was a lil rough), Barb can see right through his macho bullshit, and Steve? has a little bi meltdown. bc this kid has definitely had boy crushes before and knows he likes both (kid listens to queen of course he knew he was bi lmao)

blah blah blah s2 happens, Barb, Steve, and Billy have the same English class and Billys generally quiet during school, kinda stand-off-ish, only really bugs people during gym/basketball, but he literally sits in the back and does absolutely nothing during class and still somehow has the highest grade

(FUCK him and Barb get paired for a project and she fucking calls him out? like she's just like you're gay I'm lesbian you can cut the crap around me and they become...not friends? but they have solidarity, they're cool)

and I'm a slut for this trope but BILLY FIGHTS DEMODOGS WITH THEM lmao he hears Max sneak out and follows her and finds her in the junkyard armouring up a bus with fucking Harrington and a couple of nerds? and like the sun is setting and he needs to get Max home so he's like "Maxine! I don't know what the fuck this is and I don't fucking care, we gotta go!" and the four are like yelling at him to either leave or get in the bus! and he's so confused, I'm not here to play games Max! and Steve's running out of the bus with a FUCKING NAIL BAT WHAT THE FUCK HARRINGTON? And Steve's like behind you! and swings at a demodog. Billy has a borderline panic attack before he finds like a fender or exhaust pipe or whatever and starts swinging too

the dogs run away and Billy rounds onto Steve like what the living shit was that? and Steve has to explain everything with Dustin and Lucas interrupting and Max shrugging and trying to understand too? it's a mess

s2 continues with Billy and with HOPPER NOT BEING ABLE TO STAND HIM bc he's caught him speeding and underage drinking and shit and Billy's nervous as hell around cops which makes him mouthy and ITS A MESS

they're all at Joyce's (Barb's there too bc Will's possessed and they need to check up on her too? and she's concerned for Will anyway yeah she's in this too) and El shows up and Steve and Billy are just like what? another one? who the fuck? like Steve heard about her but this isn't a tiny child without hair??? idk it's funny

BILLY WITH AN AXE IN THE TUNNELS

(obviously Steve isn't passed out and the kids don't drive the car, it's Billy's awful impulse control that leads to them going into the tunnels)

okay I couldn't decide where to put Barb here? so I left her with Steve and Billy to babysit and she ends up in the tunnels too? and she's def handling it better than the boys are fuck yeah

Steve has his bat and is in front and Billy found an axe in the pile of shit from the Byers' shed and he pulls up the end

it's awesome

yada yada Steve and Billy end up becoming weirdly good friends by the end and he's good with him and Barb, idk about Nance and Jon but eh

s3 now

Billy ends up getting two jobs; lifeguard and cook at Benny's (bc he's alive too, fight me bitches this is the ultimate fix it) and Barb ends up working as a waitress there too (and working together builds the weirdest bonds so they are besties now)

everything in s3 is pretty much the same but with diner scenes too? and like all the Hawkins moms swarm Benny's too and leave lipstick stains on their kitchen tips and "send my compliments to the chef *wink*"

Billy eats it up but Barb can tell he also kinda hates it bc he's barely 18 and not even remotely into women and it makes him super uncomfortable but publicly he "loves" it (he starts wearing tank tops to the pool and tries to hide out in the kitchen but it really doesn't work)

he still gets caught up with the mind flayer but it's not bc he's about to sleep with Karen bc ew, idk why he's driving out by the warehouse idk maybe he's out on a drive bc he can't sleep yeah

anyway he gets caught up but like he knows, or kind of knows, what this is and calls in sick to both jobs and talks to Hopper bc WHAT THE FUCK isn't the gate closed? I got face fucked my an interdimensional monster so unless you know where the fuck that came from?? and they deal with it earlier (most of the shit still happens but it's less...messy? like Hop and Joyce are more involved in the Billy shit and Steve knows about it?)

Steve still gets caught up with the Russians (I don't think he'd have a chance to tell anyone (specifically Hopper) bc he finds out about Billy then the elevator stuff happens like right after and yada yada)

so for most of the season it's them trying to actually help Billy! and they end up saving a lot of people? (specifically Heather bc she was really nice to Billy and I want he to live fight me it's my au)

but enough people get melted and shit that starcourt still get destroyed blah blah blah!

but Billy makes it and so does Hop and Alexie (no one dies au) and they all end up doing the thing in the mall like they did in the shed with Will? like breaking Billy out? Barb talks about working at the diner and their secret and Steve talks about them hanging out and playing basketball and the tunnels and Max talks about Billy buying her a new board and them scream-singing along to ACDC in the Camaro and the kids mention him giving them rides and shit and yeah! El talks about his mom and that's it! Joyce and Hop close the gate while Billy's holding the one arm (he doesn't get stabbed in the chest, as cool as that scar would be, no...but he gets some on his hands and upper arms and his sides?)

(also Billy's drinking like bleach rn so they try and reverse that as much as possible while he's possessed so that he has a better recovery later bc no! chlorine is not good for you! and Billy tries so hard to not drink it but sometimes he can't fucking stop? idk but he has a support system now!)

and Robin came out to Steve and Steve comes out to her too? like kinda? he alludes to it vaguely bc he's so not ready to be out to anyone FUCK

And Billy comes out to Steve (he was planning on doing it earlier that summer but shit happened)

and Robin becomes friends with everyone (ITS ROBIN X BARB HOURS BITCHES)

(OKAY small like side shit? Benny and Hopper have known each other for years and Benny's like one of the only registered foster parents on Hawkins so he ends up fostering a lot of wayward kids while Hop figures out legal stuff (he hasn't adopted anyone yet but him and his husband (yeah Benny's gay deal with it) really want to? they just haven't yet, all the kids they take care of end up in their care temporarily) BUT Hop finds out about Billy and Max's home life (I know a lot of people write that Neil wouldn't hit Max but...nah son not how that works? idk but he needs to get them out? and Neil's bad to Susan too (he's the worst to Billy but still bad to Max and Susan) anyway Hop helps Susan leave Neil (it takes a while and Billy and Max end up with Benny for a little bit while the divorce is going down and all the legal shit yeah it's safer out of the house rn) long story short Billy ends up staying with Benny after everything and ends up getting adopted (they're like we know you're 18 and you don't need a guardian but if you want we can be your dads? and Billys like yeah sure that'd be nice and yeah) Hop ends up being a weird like uncle figure? idk like I said him and Benny are close and they both adopted kids so yeah? and Billy ends up considering El his little sister and he still visits Max and Susan and yeah?)

ANYWAY everything kind of calms down, Hop and Joyce get together (I just realized I forgot about Bob so...idk I guess this isn't an everyone survives au? no no that's weird um idk him and Joyce end up breaking up idk why) but yeah Hop and Joyce get together and like it's kind of fast but they've been in love for a long time so it's kind of fine? like idk but yeah

Barb and Robin get together (ITS FUCKING CUTE they go to aquariums and have paint dates where they sit on some old sheets and paint while listening to Robin's records ITS CUTE!)

STEVE COMES OUT TO EVERYONE! he definitely cries bc fuck he was scared! bc he likes both and he wasn't sure if that was a thing or whatever for a while and Billy's like oh yeah, like David Bowie or Freddie Mercury? and that's when Steve's cries bc oh thank God you guys get it and you're cool with it oh fuck and YEAH

UM Max is bi too, Will comes out as gay (listen I know none of this is like 80's realistic but everyone's gay and alive and happy, fuck off)

Um it takes forever for Billy and Steve to get together, it's awful. like Barb and Robin have to deal with their pining and shit? and like Robin hears about it from Steve at work and Barb hears about it from Billy at the diner and they put their knowledge together and make a Plan ™

it's like elaborate and dramatic (shut up they're all like 18-19) and shit? BUT LMAO okay one day they're all hanging out at Steve's (bc I've also hopped aboard the neglectful parents train sorry) and idk Steve and Billy are there before Robin and Barb are so the girls walk in on them arguing over whatever and like Billy's talking really fast and Steve's talking with his hands and idk what it's about but Billy ends up yelling that he loves him BUT THEY KEEP ARGUING FOR LIKE A SOLID MINUTE AFTER THAT BEFORE IT HITS THEM and Steve gets all quiet and is just like you love me? and Billy doesn't fucking know what to do?? he's like bright red and frozen and Robin and Barb are by the door trying to not like break the spell (bc it's been months guys) and Billy's like of course I do asshole and Robin thinks Steve's about to have a panic attack but he like rushes forward and cups Billy's face and kisses him senseless and it's like the best thing Robin and Barb have ever seen

and they're resting their foreheads together, Steve's still holding Billy's face and Billy has his hands on Steve's chest it's really tender but Robin's like yeah congrats and shit but you guys ruined our Plan™! and she gives them a long ass rundown of their elaborate scheme and Steve and Billy are like still touching and bumping into each other as they listen and Barb interrupts and says that this was better and Robin rolls her eyes but agrees

and they're watching a movie or whatever, cuddling in their respective couples and Steve fucking jumps up randomly and rounds on Billy like hey woah fuck I love you too, I didn't say that earlier! and Billy's looking up at him like yeah I know that asshole and yeah

[trifoliate-undergrowth]

Your Grandma didn't say you look like a twink. Stop fetishizing gay men. Gay men are gay they literally will never be attracted to you. Stop fetishizing their culture and misusing their words. You're a genuinely bad person, but I guess that's what happens when you grow up white and straight, Karen.

Hahahaha wow okay I’ve had my first anon hate, I guess I’m big tumblr blog now, we should throw a party to celebrate this milestone! 

Okay friend, you make some valid points, let me try to break this down. 

I’m guessing you’re referring to this post . 

No, my grandma didn’t say I looked like a twink; as I pointed out I doubt she knows the word. She implied that I looked like a young pretty boy and my reaction was “so… a twink.” 

I wasn’t trying to say anything deep with this post. I was trying to cope with a bad situation by posting a humorous personal rant onto this-here fandom blog, thus making it publicly viewable to strangers forever. Was this necessarily a good decision? No. But it’s already been done, so  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ here we are. 

I think I understand why you’re taking offence at me using a gay term while not identifying as gay. This isn’t a Trisha Paytas thing. I didn’t wake up one day and think “wow I wish I could be with gay men as another gay man and not have the complicated gender stuff that comes with heterosexual relationships bc I think gay men are cute n I wanna be an uwu thicc boi”. I watched Jammidodger, an actual trans person, reacting to her video (with confusion) and felt deeply uncomfortable because… is that what we look like? Is that what people really think trans people are like? Big yikes. No one wants to be a Trisha Paytas. I think Jamie made some good points–Trisha may, or may not, genuinely be questioning her gender; what IS clear is that she hasn’t thought about the subject for long and her ideas are very confused. I don’t think she should have made a video at that point, but I’m hardly in a position to judge other people for using the internet to vent when I’m over here doing it myself. I hope she figures out, uh… .whatever the hell is going on with her. And stops prematurely inserting herself into the trans identity, to the confusion of everyone involved. 

But yeah, I see why Anon would react like this to me using a gay term, it could read like I’m an outsider Trisha Paytas-ing my way into the gay community where I don’t belong. Believe me, I didn’t put that much thought into it. I thought it was funny that my grandma was trying to use “you look like a pretty boy” as an insult and I made a joke about it. I do see why you could be upset by someone not in the community “fetishizing” them or “misusing their words”. That was very much not my intention. 

Now on to the part of your message that simply makes no sense. 

“You’re a genuinely bad person, but I guess that’s what happens when you grow up white and straight, Karen.” 

…Okay, since you have a tendency to misunderstand my words, I’ll try to spell this out for you. 

Yes, I was in many ways raised in a position of privilege. I recognize that. I’m white as a catfish belly and I burn bright red like a crawfish if I’m in the sun for any amount of time. However, I am neither straight nor a Karen. And I’m very confused by your implicit argument that “You’re a bad person because you’re a white straight”. I know there’s a lot of implicit “well you can’t expect much of a white cishet male they’re all trash” here on tumblr, but that’s not helping anyone. It’s lowering the bar. RAISE THE BAR. RAISE IT. Men CAN do better and they SHOULD. And when did “we shouldn’t discount anyone because of their skin color or orientation” turn into “we should hate white cishets because literally every single one of them sucks actually”? I don’t see the logic. And I don’t appreciate the additional transphobia you’ve now brought to the table. 

I’m curious Anon, what did you mean to accomplish by this approach? You could have just shot me a polite message with “hey I object to you using the word twink when you don’t identify with it and here’s why” and I’d be like “thanks man I didn’t think of that, I’ll be more careful in the future”. This could have been a respectful interaction but you decided to come at it like I’m the worst person in the world. I can’t help but think you’re just using the internet as a means to vent your frustration–which makes you no better than me. 

And anyway, why is someone with such a messiah complex over here on a fandom blog that occasionally rant-posts about personal life and has barely crested 300 followers? I have very little clout my dude. If you want to make a difference, I suggest bringing your vitriol to someone who actually has a platform and abuses it. Go yell at Onision. Go throw clods of dirt at Pewdiepie. (for legal reasons I feel I should clarify that I don’t mean to encourage people to literally throw dirt or anons at pewdiepie I’m making a point) why are you here? What do you hope to accomplish? Yes, there is injustice in the world. Direct your anger at that. Don’t just pick a random tumblr blog and tell them they’re a bad person because they’re white. 

[fenharel-babe]

Extremely Detailed Inquisitor Questionnaire for Elle!

Elle’s turn :))). Love her the most lol. Her character background is kinda confusing so,,bare with me. Plus, every question is kinda too detailed and sometimes goes off track (but gets back on it) because I want to explain Elle a lot more. But this isn’t everything about her. There’s still a lot more >:)))).

Name: Elle

Age: 26

Race: Elf, but she uses her magic to put a glamour over her. She looks human to others.

Gender/preferred pronouns: Female. She/Her

Class (warrior/rogue/mage): Was a Mage but in DAI is a warrior.

Preferred weapon/spell type: She would usually use a staff when she loved her magic, but in DAI she likes to use a sword with both hands. Never was that great with a shield.

Specialization: Knight Warrior

Romance: Cullen (precious pup🥺).

Elle is a very loving woman. She’s a bit quiet, a little shy, but she always means well. The Templar’s weren’t that great to her when she was young (being a mage and an elf), but she refused to let that stop her from being herself. She showed kindness to everyone, sympathized with them, and did anything she could that would help them. However, her being so kind sometimes got her in trouble. Being used, manipulated, tricked, and other terrible things. Now, she plays as a human who has no magic whatsoever and fights for peace like she always will.

*Describe what your Inquisitor is like before the game’s events–preferably, choose three words that describe best. Then explain why those adjectives are appropriate descriptors.

She was a kind little girl. Her father was a Templar human and her mother was an elf mage. A little weird to everyone else, but her father truly loves her mother, and he loves his mage daughter like she was everything. And he loves his other daughter as well!! He loved both of his children so much (older sister is mentioned later). When she grew up, she would sing at the local tavern. It was shows they would put on every night and she loved it. She learned her glamour spell during this time. She didn’t want people to know who she was since she was a little embarrassed. She’d look like a human and her looks would change a little bit, but not much. She would be considered a bard, but not much. She was very observant. She watched everyone as she sang, listened to their conversations when she was by the bar, and acted playful to catch them slipping up. She didn’t really use the information for anything, but it was a little fun to her. Three words to describe her would be Kind, Playful, and Sneaky.

Kind because she is kind. She listens to people, does her best to help them, and tries to not be judgemental. She’s playful because of how she acts. Whenever a Templar would say “oh it’s a mage,” she’d be like “Oh, thank you for noticing me. I do like the attention,” and she’d laugh at how the Templar’s looked a little uncomfortable. She’d make jokes and almost never seem to take anything seriously. Always having a comeback to the Templar’s (or sometimes mages) that made fun of her or tried to bring her down. And when Cullen says “no one made quite the entrance you did.” She’d smile and pull out the playful side of her and reply “Well, I do like having everyone’s attention,” or something a little more playful. And she’s sneaky because she was a kinda spy. She would listen to people when they thought no one could hear them, she’d sneak through the halls of her home late at night to go see her friends, and because of what she’s doing now. Hiding what she really is out of fear and anger of her past.

Does your Inquisitor change over the course of the game’s events? If so, how? What events affected their character arc the most?

Yes. She learns to not be afraid of her past and shows her real self to the main people in her life (the party members and main people in the inquisition). She learns to not hide herself and accepts her magic as a part of her. The one event that affected her most was when she was thrown into the Fade. When the fear demon was speaking to her, it shook her to her core. Her past flashing in front of her when she closed her eyes, and she was afraid everyone would see her entire past. It made her panic the whole time there, but leave it to Elle to hide behind a well built mask. She was a performer after all and meant to never show her true emotions when the attention is all on her. And when she saw how panicky she was and how afraid she was for them to find out, she decided to talk to Cullen and everyone else.

What is their combat skill level before the events of the game? Are they already skilled fighters, or can they barely hold their weapon of choice properly?

She was a very well trained Mage. She loved magic and was always wanting to learn more, and her father, siste rand mother also wanted to learn more. With her family encouraging her and wanting to learn beside her, it made her learn more and more about magic. How she could protect herself and others, but also the bad side of Magic... However, she didn’t just know how to fight with her staff. She was curious about fighting with swords, daggers, and bow and arrow. Always wanting to know more. Her favorite way of fighting (without her staff) was either with bow and arrow or a sword. As she grew up, she learned how to fight with a sword by her father, but it never was intense training. She even tried to fight the Templar’s for training and beat most of them. Why is that good? Because she didn’t get the amount of training they did. She was observant, noticed their patterns (almost every fighter has a pattern in how they fight), how strong they really are, and looked for weak spots. This is why she would’ve been good as a full time bard, but nah. She would study that and win almost every time. Made her dad very proud. But he was always proud of her no matter what,,,

How well do they improve after becoming the Herald/Inquisitor?

She learns how to truly fight. As a kid (and a grown up before the main events of DAI), she never tried to fight hard, never wanting to actually hurt someone (even if it happened anyway...), so she didn’t train too much. Just wanted the basics with the sword. She grew stronger (TUFF baby), learned how to not hide her emotions, and learned how to love fully. She never truly knew how to love another person (romantically I mean) until she met Cullen. She’s happy about that and so is everyone else around her :). And she learns how to not let herself lead mainly with her emotions. She was a little naive and lead with her emotions most of the time, but she learned that that’s not always the best thing to do, even if it hurts her heart.

Does the Inquisitor have family they left behind? Friends?

This part is rlly long sorry lol.

She has her mother and sister left behind. Yeah, she has a big sister. They are very close. Her sister is an actual human and is a warrior and is a Templar. She became a Templar because she wanted to be like her father and actually protect people. If someone ever insulted the mages, she’d literally be like “wanna square up?? Wanna take this outside???” She imagines that mage as her sister and can’t stand it when people try to hurt the mages or treat them unfairly when most of them did nothing wrong! She believes Templar’s were not made to be like that, so she tries to help people see that. Elle left because of her past. It wasn’t on her own accord, she left out of fear and shame. She hurt people on accident, so she couldn’t show her face.

What made it worse, her dad died when she was 10 and her sister was 11. He was a Templar so he used Lyrium. When he and their mother had Lela (the older sister), he wanted to stop taking it, prove that he was more than just a Templar taking lyrium. That he could be a good father. However, irs like Cullen said, if a Templar stops taking it then they could go mad. And mad he did. He never abused anyone, he rarely showed the symptoms of an abuser of the lyrium, but his wife knew and she always tried to help him stop taking it, but after so many years of not taking it, he would go back to it. But he overdosed (I’m assuming that’s possible right?) and died. It haunts her everyday because she has a ring of his. It was a Templar ring. She wears it everywhere she goes, refusing to take it off. And she also Has a best friend who is a Templar! I’m kinda assuming Templar and Mage relationships aren’t really ‘allowed’. They’re not banned but frowned upon. However, they met in secret when they were kids, and they’ve stayed friends every since. His name is Caleb and he loves seeing Elle mess with her magic when she had it :))).

How does the Inquisitor react to the Anchor and the idea of closing the Breach–do they want to do the right thing, are they only along because they are a prisoner, or something else?

Oh boy,,she’s terrified. Having technically magic on her hand gives her anxiety. She doesn’t know if she’ll hurt people, doesn’t know how to use it, doesn’t know what will happen, and it gives her a lot of anxiety. She’s scared, but hides it once again. She gets anxiety bc the last time she used magic she hurt people on accident (I’ll explain it if someone asks or maybe later idk) and everytime she looks at her hand she feels the magic that’s still in her flow throughout her. It scares her, but she eventually learns to deal with it. She learns how it works, and what she can use it for. Plus, she does want to do the right thing. Always has and always will. She’s happy after she knows she can help people, but that past always comes back to haunt her.

Do they take the mountain pass with the scouts to the Temple or do they charge with the soldiers?

She takes the mountain path. She knows it’s dangerous, but believes in herself and her companions to make it through. Plus, she didn’t want to risk more lives, and she wanted to save the scouts if she could. Once again, letting her emotions lead her in the beginning, but she believes they’re alive and won’t take any other path. If her comrades didn’t go with her, then she would’ve went by herself. Stubborn girl😤.

How does the Inquisitor react to being called the Herald of Andraste?

She’s a little worried. She doesn’t like people fearing her. She does claim to like the worship, to like the way people bow to her, and its not 100% false. Everyone likes attention sometimes, and she does like it. But it causes guilt to rise in her mind. Would they bow to her if they knew what she did? How she hurt people? She just accepts it and smiles to everyone who gives her praise. But after awhile, she accepted the title and knew that meant she was someone important.

Do they believe it themselves?

She does a little bit. Not fully believing it, but not thinking of it as impossible. She’s just wishy-washy about her opinion.

How do they react to being thrown a year into the future? Do they believe they can get back? Are they focused on their goal, gathering information? Or are they just freaking out?

Hmm...she isn’t panic panicking, but she is still worried. She’s afraid of what happened to her family in this future (her mom, sister, and everyone in the inquisition) and she feels like they can’t get back. The walls feel like they’re closing in around her, and when she sees everyone with the red lyrium growing inside of them, it causes her heart to ache. However, she pulls herself together and will fight her hardest to save everyone. She would not let this come to happen. No matter what she had to do.

Does the Inquisitor help Harrit and save all possible citizens of Haven? Why?

YES!! She’s rushing around everywhere, checking every building that she can, and trying her best to hear for anyone calling out for help. She helps everyone the best she can and still feels regret for how many they lost that day. She does it because she cares. She cares so much for everyone and wants to save everyone if she can. She couldn’t live with herself if she let someone die because she was too lazy to search.

How does the Inquisitor feel about being a distraction for Corypheus while Haven flees? Are they resigned to their fate? Resentful? Determined to defeat the enemy/survive?

She feels sad. She knows this is needed, she has to do this. When she decided to help the inquisition, she signed herself up for this mess, and she WILL see it through. Even if it costed her her life. However, her sadness does effect her when she’s talking. Her voice cracking and tears almost falling, but she holds it together and does her best to distract Corypheus.

Does the encounter with Corypheus change their opinion of being Herald? Does it make them believe they are the Herald, lose faith, or affirm to their previous belief?

She’ll stare at the mark on her hand for awhile after everything, wondering if it is a blessing or a curse. She feels it flowing through her. Not pain, but just...there. And now seeing that Corypheus wants it and how he will come for her life, it only makes her more determined. Elle is not a woman known for giving up. Her faith doesn’t dim. Heck, the fire inside of her gets brighter and stronger after this. She believes she was meant for this. To see a creature that powerful and to LIVE after it? She believes she’s truly blessed, and she will use that blessing to her advantage.

How do they feel about being chosen for Inquisitor?

Guilt. Overwhelming guilt. They don’t know her past. None of them do. They don’t know how she is truly a mage, how she lost control of her magic once and hurt people. They don’t know, and yet she watches as they bow to her. Swear their loyalty to her. An elf playing human and champion, when she feels like she doesn’t deserve it. And as she looks at them, sees their bravery, their loyalty, their faith, and the way they want to see this through, she smiles and pushes her guilt back and raises her sword high. She will save this world and maybe, just maybe...they’ll still love her if she reveals herself.

How does the Inquisitor react to being in the Fade?

She feels like it’s a playground. Well, not an actual playground, but she’s excited to see all of it. Is it terrifying? YES. But does she also find it...kinda beautiful? Yeah. She feels how Solas feels. She was always interested in her magic, and that interest hasnt dimmed at all, and she looks so in awe of everything. She couldn’t hold back her curious eyes looking everywhere. The only part she truly hated was seeing the graveyard of fears. She saw hers and it said, “Herself.” She saw her past flash before her eyes and she felt like it was hard to breathe. Her curiosity now replaced with fear and anger. However, when one of the companions called her name, she was pulled out of whatever trance she was in, and laughed at their concern.

“I’m fine. I’m always fine. I’m the inquisitor. Let’s just get out of here.” And when the demon spoke to her, it’s cold, cruel voice called out, “Would they still love you if they knew?” She would yell a curse at it in Elven, and keep walking through the fade, desperate to get back to the world to save everyone and avoid her past.

Do they ever believe the spirit is actually of Divine Justinia?

She does. She likes to believe that Divine Justinia would look out for them, would want them to get out of here, and somehow stay behind. Is it a stretch? Yes. But she believes it was Divine Justinia. Let her have hope for once...

How do they react to learning it was the Divine behind them in the Fade, not Andraste?

She didn’t know the Divine, but she felt sad at how she sacrificed herself to save Elle. She feels at fault, but knows she isn’t. Divine made that choice. She feels sad at how she isn’t what people believe she is, but she still feels like it’s the Makers will. Or whatever is watching over them, she believes it is their will, and knows she is still destined to be here.

What is their opinion on attending the ball in the first place? Do they think it’s a waste of time, a necessary duty, or something exciting?

She feels nervous, but not too nervous. She was like a bard and was used to being someone else. Being careful, putting on a mask. It was a talent of hers. So, she is a little excited to be who she was when she was a bit younger, even if her decisions will affect everyone, she keeps a confident look on her face, gives playful responses, listens to everyone when they think she isn’t, goes with their opinions for their support, and knows how to persuade people. It’s something that was taught to her and she guesses becoming like a bard was a very important step in her life. However, she does see this as serious and treats it like that. When she’s searching, she’s moving as fast as her feet can take her, using her strength to maybe or maybe not break a door, keeping her mask on when she shows up, and knows how to play nice and when to play vicious.

Does the Inquisitor fight Grand Duchess Florianne, or expose her?

SHE DRAGS HER SWEETIE!! Even Cullen was holding back a laugh at how Elle was circling her like a shark, the way she had a smile on her face, the way she was confident, and noticing how she was very good at this. She said some...colorful words, and she dragged her, exposed her, humiliated her, whatever word you wanna use! She usually would feel bad, but this woman was going to get people killed without hesitation, so Elle held nothing back. And she loves exposing terrible people >:).

How does the Inquisitor get along with Morrigan?

She treats her with the same kindness and respect she treats everyone else with! She doesn’t trust her completely when they first met, her naive ways and too kind heart was now protected and wary. But overtime they grew a bit closer and became friend and when Morrigan acts coy and secretive, Elle would play along as well. As if it was a game between the two. They enjoyed it sometimes, but when it came to serious matters, they would drop everything and try to understand each other, no secrets or coyness involved.

How does the Inquisitor feel about facing Corypheus for the last time? Do they feel confident? Do they believe they will survive the encounter? How do they cope with the possibility of failure?

Her heart hurts. She panics. She believes she can do this, she knows she can’t use her magic, she can’t show it, but her magic is flowing through her stronger than ever before. Her magic seemed alive and desperate to be revealed and unleashed again. She was tempted to unleash it and beat Corypheus, but she knew she could do this on her own strength. She feels a bit confident, but she is shaking when she goes to spend time with Cullen the night before facing Corypheus for the last time. It ends with private time alone (hehe know what I mean ;)), and she does everything to show how much she loves him. She holds onto him as tight as she can, as if he’ll disappear if she doesn’t hold on tight. She makes him feel as much pleasure as she can make him feel, whispers her love confessions to him, and gives everything she can to him. She loves him. She loves him. And she feels so happy when he does the same. He loves her. He loves her. And that night is the night she reveals herself to him, knowing she needs to let him know just in case she doesn’t make it...

How do they react to Solas’ disappearance?

Worried. She’s always worried for her friends and family. She was interested in Solas and everythint he taught her, so she considered him her friend. She liked his company and the way he sorta comforted her sometimes, so she was definitely worried. She sent out many orders to search for Solas, refusing to give up on him. Needing to find out what happen.

Now onto the people >:))).

Who does the Inquisitor prefer to have in their party? Why?

She likes Cassandra the most. She likes Cassandras voice a lot. She doesn’t know why but it just sounds beautiful to her, even if she mainly hears it with curse words or shouting, but it’s beautiful to her😌. Plus, she likes seeing Cassandra be kind to people who need it. She believes going with her is sort of teaching Cassandra to breach out and to show how people are suffering on every side. And she likes making Cassandra smile whenever she can, since Cassandra wasn’t one to smile or laugh.

What is the Inquisitor’s first impression of Leliana?

She finds her very interesting. She was used to being like a spy, but she saw how serious Leliana was and was in awe of her talent. She was still a little naive at the time and trusted Leliana with everything in her since Cassandra trusted her and how Leliana did stop Cassandra from basically attacking Elle in the dungeon👀. And eventually when she manages to soften Leliana, she loves how Leliana is hopeful and she agrees with her hopes and dreams. She’s happy she knows Leliana :))).

What is the Inquisitor’s first impression of Cullen?

First impression AND their development sorta is included.

She felt safe and was interested in him as well. In a different way from Leliana though... And as she fell for him, she felt love for the first time since she ran from home, and when she learned about how he quit Lyrium she felt a lot pride in her. Like, she was proud of him and supported him with all of her heart. And when she learned how he was suffering, her heart dropped so hard. She had seen this before. Her father was suffering like he was, dreams being terrible, and knowing that want to go back on it. She didn’t get it as a kid, but as she grew up she understood how dangerous quitting Lyrium was and she couldn’t let someone else she loves dearly die. She would NOT let it happen. Not again. She’s older. She can do this. She tells him not to take it and she watches him like Cassandra does. Checking in on him everyday and always making sure he’s telling her the truth. And sometimes she just flirts with him to take his mind off of it :))). It works and he feels so happy when she’s around him. Even if it’s in the war room...he just loves seeing her.

The same goes for everyone else. She treats them with kindness, loves their specific traits (Serahs prank, Cassandras true kindness, Morrigan interest in Elven lore, Solas’s knowledge, and everyone’s desire to save the world). This is it for Elle but this only scratches the surface of everything I’ve thought about her >:))). I love the idea of someone having a terrible past, misunderstood, and being afraid to show themself, but still also showing their true intentions and emotions. I love this baby and want to talk about her more but not sure how?? I guess I’ll figure it out. Anyways yeah, Julien is next >:))).