#i will make a post one day analysing canon about them but not today

[olivegardenhunter]

also not that anyone asked (or cares) but I want to make clear that while I do ship tsunade and jiraiya, I also wholeheartedly ship tsunade and dan. idk why a lot of people treat these two ships as one or the another and hate the other side rather than like both being something that can occur together. my main reasoning for this is I simply don't subscribe to the whole "one and only love forever and ever and can never move on" notion that Kishi himself loves so much. I like to think tsunade, while still holding a place for dan in her heart till she dies, would've ultimately been able to move on romantically from him. but not necessarily want to go out of her way to find someone else. and then comes jiraiya who after many years apart they begin to repair their relationship. and he's the only person left around that knows her deeply. and I don't see why she couldn't have started to develop feelings for him, just ones she wouldn't admit to. and I think many people like to think it's cause of the love she holds for dan she doesn't want to explore those feelings. and that's true to an extent imo. but more importantly it's cause she genuinely believes her love is cursed. and also that loving someone again would risk her losing someone close to her again. but anyway I like to think she did start falling for him in the end, whether she admits it to herself or not, but this does NOT mean she suddenly is completely over dan and don't love him anymore. I think grief and mourning is complicated and it's simply not true her loving someone new would mean she no longer loved him. they didn't break up after all, he died, it's so different. idk, to me I just don't think it's unrealistic for her to love someone new, while still knowing dan was who her heart really truly belonged to. so tldr I like jiratsu but I also love dantsuna and I'm sick of people pretending both ships can't coexist I guess.

[jack-kellys]

west end question: i obviously love my brooklyn girls and would die for them all, but is it bad that it’s taken away the sprace dynamic for me? like i’m still 100% on board with a nowhere near canon ship and it shouldn’t affect me they’ve decided to have spot be a girl, but it lowkey has? and i feel kinda guilty about it? idk i love my proshot boys. but i am 100% here for all the uk newsies cast they are amazing and so talented and it’s definitely my favourite production by far!! idk if i’m making sense

ok part of me feels a litle baited actually because like. i feel like... im vocal abt mlm musical sprace not being a big vibe for me in the first place. so im a funny person to ask if you were looking for relief lmao. anyway here's my thesis below.

wait also if ur a white newsie fan a read-thru+rb of this would be much appreciated thank youuu (also yall have been eating up my character analyses anyway sooooo!)

TL;DR THESIS: if you're feeling genuinely let down that your ship did not see the light of day and a black girlsie spot conlon got to instead, then yes, you should reevaluate that.

followers, if you've been with me long enough, you know that i have quite strong opinions about how this show gets treated when it comes to interpretations and fandom/fanon. mostly, this is because i literally work in theater, and it's extremely backwards in my brain personally when shows get treated more like a movie or tv show than a performance piece.

im also one of the only ppl in this fandom that ever seems to dare speak on race (not the damn character smh). and anon, buddy, kiddo, this does have to do with race, gender, and sexuality.

firstly, what i think needs to be understood about newsies, is that it is theater, which means it is meant to be mutable. there is no one way. there should never be one way. it does not exist. secondly, theater does not exist in a fandom vacuum. its live every night, conceptually. theater is a live performance art.

interpretations change- it's the nature of theater. so i think asks like these really do illuminate the difference between fans of the show's content or fans of... i guess the show's culture's content.

this is a culture content ask.

one thing i really, truly, deeply need you all to understand: from an objective, script- and staging-based perspective, proshot sprace does not exist. they do not speak. they barely see each other. race does not even volunteer to go to brooklyn. the ship originates from the 1992 movie, where they do actually interact, which is why the ship has prevailed through the 90s to today. they're from the movie, not the musical.

of course, this doesn't bash the ship- it has history, and naturally fans want to create new history when they get a new source material (the musical). it's true for like every newsie ship lowkey (but also not lowkey because all the manhattan newsies do interact and sprace literally does not but thats a different post!!), which is something i do admire about the fandom- we do a lot of our own legwork here, we invent relationships and backgrounds from one-liners that could be given to tbh any frickin newsie. i respect the 30 years we have invented ships.

however.

when a huge, publicized, consistently sold out production comes along with spot conlon as not only a woman, but a woman of color (specifically black rn!) as the leader of the most feared group on stage, there becomes something much more important than a "sprace dynamic", which does not canonically exist in the musical anyway bro. you can't miss something that isn't there imo. often the story and casting within a story comes first, and goddamn if this isn't one of those times. lillie-pearl's spot brings bravado, swagger, confidence, and intimidation that is literally....fine maybe i'm being personal but it is slash gen incredible to see in technically a period piece! a black woman in leadership with that kind of assuredness! in such a popular musical! how is that not– automatically surpassing an often obsessed-over (yes i am. hinting at something here, straight girl fans) mlm ship?

and while i'm on the topic of the over-obsessiveness of mlm musical sprace, let me talk about uksies sprace. because what's also wack abt this ask is that sprace is not a hopeless case in this production- it literally has about as much 'evidence' as the proshot imo!!!!!

i got to hop over to 2nd row brooklyn seating for act 2 so i saw once and for all really close up, right. there's a moment when race is upstage letting the newsies in/down from the stairs. spot comes down and she does, in fact, share a look with him. race gives spot a nod and she keeps moving.

and like im gonna see the show again (every day i am counting my mf blessings fr), so if i'm wrong or they don't do it every time i'll correct myself, but that's what i saw with my own dang eyes on saturday. they do acknowledge each other in uksies.

and since they do, i really like. i have to ask. what is bothersome/unpopular abt uksies sprace, other than oh idk.... its not white/white mlm with a twink/manly bf trope? why can't race still love who spot is as a character, this strong and fearless ruler of brooklyn, in uksies? because tbh josh's racer...nahhhh because. this is such a side note now but they'd be so good together oh jesus am i gonna ship uk sprace. and it's not like they're 'taking away' from a queer ship because a) you can headcanon spot as a queer girl and race being trans is consistently popular and b) newsies has ten billion gayass ships bro we've been eatin for literal decades.

anon, i'm sure you didn't mean harm by this ask. i'm sure, honestly, that a lot of fans are feeling the same way as you and weren't quite sure how to put it in words. but, i'm also not surprised you sent an ask like this on anonymous specifically.

should you feel guilty about it? i don't think guilt is the right word. but i believe you should think more about how newsies is not.....static. it does not exist in one form, and it never will. if you're feeling genuinely let down that your ship did not see the light of day and a black girlsie spot conlon got to instead, then yes, you should reevaluate that. in theater, you should always question why something impacted you the way it did- a major point of theater is to discuss and think about it when you leave! i know this because ive spent three years literally studying it, to back up my thesis credentials.

thank you for reading this, newsies fandom. i do honestly say all this with love, and i hope it made u think !! ♥️

[queeringdiedreiausrufezeichen]

Die Drei Ausrufezeichen Social Media AU

but it’s just them having Tumblr blogs, cause they would! (Might eventually add other social media platforms.)

-

Kim:

Main blog:

thecodesofcrimenovels

Blog title: Solving crimes and the mysteries of coding

Kim - Eng/Ger/Thai - She/Her - coding, writing, crime novels primarily

Die drei Fragezeichen side blog:

justusjonasesautism

Blog title: PB&J my beloveds

Kim - Eng/Ger/Thai - she/her - Die drei Fragezeichen side Blog, my main blog is: thecodesofcrimenovels

Franzi:

Franzi has one blog and one blog only.

thatqueermayhem

Blog title: I survived my ‘Not like other girls’ phase and figured out I’m not a girl at all

Franzi - Eng/Ger - She/He - D3F and Vorstadtwache mainly, occasionally Tatort though I haven’t really gotten into it yet, Queer stuff, Trans stuff, German stuff, just what ever - Trans af, your conservative family members worst nightmare - PB&J warrior first, Human second

Marie:

Main blog:

flowercourtprincess

Blog title: Aesthetics and T Girl Swag!

Marie - Eng/Ger/Fr - she/her, sie/ihr, elle

Die drei Fragezeichen side blog:

rockybeachesqueeryouthcentre

Blog title: Rocky Beach’s Queer Youth Centre

The three investigators/Die drei Fragezeichen Side Blog, Mainly fan art with occasional separate headcanon posts (all my headcanons are integrated into my art anyway haha), main blog is called: flowercourtprincess

Some posts they would make:

thecodesofcrimenovels

Had a writing workshop today and it was great! We had sort of free range to decide what exactly we wanted to do. The premise was to choose a novel of our liking, analyse the writing style and then imitate said style in a completely different genre. So we had some people using the flowery description heavy language of a fantasy novel to describe a mundane day in the real world. Or the creepy dispense of a horror novel used to describe a fluffy movie night between two friends. (The friends were watching a rom-com so it wasn’t like they could somehow match the vibes to the movie.) It was great!

#writing #my posts

Not to be a cliché Trans Girl, but gosh I love coding so much. It’s so much fun.

#coding #my posts

[D3A’s group chat right after Franzi sees that post.

F: Is your Coding club girlfriend finally back?

K: I have no idea what you are talking about and she is not my girlfriend.

F: Not yet. Which is why you should finally ask her out on a date. Or Marie should. You two are so badly crushing on that girl and neither of you have yet to actually make a move. If you take any longer I’ll do it for you.]

justusjonasesautism

Justus Jonas is half Thai! Cause I project onto him.

#Asian American Justus Jonas is actually so canon thank you very much #like what do you mean he isn’t canonly half Thai? #he clearly is #like have you not paid attention? #I will go down with this headcanon! #justus jonas #die drei fragezeichen #d3f #the three investigators

| #Asian American Justus Jonas is actually so canon thank you very much #<- previous tag #yesss #fight me #spreading the Asian American Justus Jonas agenda #justus jonas #d3f

| #Asian American Justus Jonas is actually so canon thank you very much #<- previous tag #yes! Exactly! Also -> #spreading the Asian American Justus Jonas agenda #funnily enough I’m working on an art piece of him right now #and this is fuelling my inspiration #I’m debating making him Blasian because I just want to #because I do like the headcanon that Justus is Black #but I don’t know yet #justus jonas #headcanon tag #reblog

The urge to write a whole ass essay on the racist stereotypes in the old books and the continued anti indigenous racism even in the newer ones, is so intense right now.

#racism in Die drei Fragezeichen #die drei fragezeichen #d3f #the three investigators

| #Do it!

The wish to listen to the early cases and the wish to not hear racist slurs and racism filled stories, currently fighting each other. Like please why can’t I just to listen to “Die drei Fragezeichen und das Gespensterschloss” without needing to mentally prepare myself for a bunch of racist stereotypes including the Z-word (the German version of the G-slur). Seriously…

#racism in Die drei Fragezeichen #die drei fragezeichen #d3f #the three investigators

| #yes it’s exhausting sometimes #also yes unusual reblog I know #not art #reblog

thatqueermayhem

See the reason I relate to Bob Andrews is because he is a trans fem surrounded by trans mascs while I’m a trans masc surrounded by trans fems. We mirror each other.

#he is literally so trans fem ahhh! #trans fem bob andrews #nonbinary bob andrews #bob andrews #d3f

| #I love trans fem Bob Andrews so much as a concept! #trans fem bob andrews #nonbinary bob andrews #bob andrews #die drei fragezeichen #d3f #the three investigators #reblog

| #and we love you very dearly! #trans fem bob andrews #nonbinary bob andrews #bob andrews #headcanon tag #reblog

Kelly Madigan my beloved!

#that’s it #that’s the whole post #kelly madigan #d3f

| #so true! #I love you Kelly Madigan #you are the best #kelly madigan #die drei fragezeichen #d3f #the three investigators #reblog

| #not something I typically reblog onto here but also yes! 100% #gosh I love the girls so much! They are awesome #kelly madigan my beloved #kelly madigan #not art #reblog

Kommisar Brockmeier is queer. Helmut Grevenbroich told me himself.

#I said what I said #kommisar brockmeier #vorstadtwache #helmut grevenbroich

Would y’all believe me if I said I saw Helmut Grevenbroich kissing a man?

#helmut grevenbroich #true story #I’m gonna tag this as #queer stuff #because I can

[Helmut Grevenbroich was in fact asked if he was okay with the post, before Franzi posted that.]

flowercourtprincess

Todays question is if I’m actually lesbian, AroAce or any of the mspec labels? Stay tuned for the answer. Yes, I’ve been listening to “fall in love with a girl” by Cavetown ft. Beabadoobee. Why are you asking? Blame thatqueermayhem for playing “worm food” on a loop.

#no matter what I’m queer af #if you have a problem with that kindly f^ off #just queer things #my posts #queer #aroace #lesbian #mspec #bi #pan #poly #omni

| Sometimes you gotta be a stereotypical trans masc, what can I say? 🤷 It’s not like y’all aren’t enjoying the songs.

#queer stuff #trans stuff #I love my girlfriends and I also love listening to Cavetown yes these two are related

Being trans is actually so great! Who ever told you otherwise was a big fat liar. Being trans is freaking awesome.

#trans is beautiful #just trans things #trans #transgender #transsexual #my posts #even though there are probably a decent amount of similar posts already floating around on here #I don’t care #you can never say it enough

| #This! #gosh I love being trans so much #reblog #trans things #trans #transgender

| #yes #queer stuff #trans stuff

The romantic tension of being taken care of by your friends after being hurt.

[private conversation after Kim and Franzi see that post.

Franzi: You get hurt and that’s your first instinct? Posting a vague post on Tumblr?

Marie: *shrugs*

Kim: Well, it’s vague enough to just seem like random thought with no real life implications.

Franzi: Seriously??? … What ever.

Marie: I mean people are reblogging it and agreeing.

Franzi: *looking at the post and reblogs* They are assigning characters and ships to it…

Marie: Well obviously.

Franzi:… I don’t even know how to argue with that.

Kim: Franzi. It’s not that serious. You are just stressed right now.

Franzi: Well we are in the freaking hospital after all!

Marie: Wanna hold my hand to feel less worried?

Franzi:… yes.

Marie: *looking at Kim* You too?

Kim: *nods and the three end up holding hands to calm themselves down*

(It’s mainly Franzi that needs calming down, but the others also appreciate it.)]

rockybeachesqueeryouthcentre

Jeffrey Palmer wears blond faux locs. (Cause I want faux locs right now, but I don’t have the time for an appointment and I just got braids done.) He would totally wear goddess locs, cause he doesn’t give a damn about “gender rules” and that’s all I’ll say.

#I’m working on a Portrait drawing of him right now and just head to share that headcanon really quick #jeffrey palmer #die drei fragezeichen #the three investigators #d3f #headcanon tag #my headcanons

| #uhh I can’t wait for the drawing! #and you are sooo right! #jeffrey palmer #d3f

| #jeffrey palmer #die drei fragezeichen #d3f #the three investigators #reblog

Unusual post for me but it needs to be said. I feel like the authors of “The three investigators” tend to fall into the “we were trying to be misogynistic but ended up accidentally writing something with queer energy” category quite a lot. An audio drama example: Switching out Kelly for Jeffrey in “Die drei Fragezeichen Das Geisterschiff“. Now you made it unintentionally queer, cause you so desperately didn’t want to include Peter’s canon girlfriend. Anyway thatqueermayhem and justusjonasesautism just had to listen to me rant about the misogyny in these books.

#not art #the way Kelly gets treated by the authors hurts sometimes #Kelly is such a darling and I love her #die drei fragezeichen #the three investigators #d3f #kelly madigan #rant sort of? #my posts

| #reblog #jeffrey palmer #kelly madigan #Die drei Fragezeichen Das Geisterschiff #die drei fragezeichen #d3f #the three investigators

| #yep #and Kelly always gets the short end of the stick #I love you Jeffrey #but Kelly deserves better #jeffrey palmer #kelly madigan #d3f

If I see one more post of someone claiming “The three investigators” doesn’t have misogyny/sexism, I’m gonna scream. Y’all can’t be serious, when these stories are littered with misogyny/sexism. Like I get it. You don’t want to admit that there are flaws in these stories you probably liked since you were a child, but for the love of it, stop it! They literally wrote out female characters, cause the audience supposedly disliked them. And you are claiming this series doesn’t have misogyny??? Well when there are barely any female characters chances to see misogynistic characterisations are rarer. (Psst they still exist. Like it’s not that the few female characters don’t fall into sexist stereotypes sometimes. And just because you don’t notice them doesn’t mean they aren’t there.)

#not art #rant #die drei fragezeichen #the three investigators #d3f #my posts

| #nothing to add here! #die drei fragezeichen #d3f #the three investigators #reblog

-

I was debating cutting the part of Kim mentioning the anti indigenous racism, cause D3A also has (at least) two instances of the I-word being used, but I decided against it, cause it’s something I think she would post. And I personally would like to believe that all the characters (also the characters from the D3F universe) would stop using it if they were made aware of the fact that it is a racial slur.

The only times I’ve seen people claiming D3F doesn’t have misogyny was when they where putting down D3A as so much worse. Arguing that D3F supposedly didn’t have misogyny while D3A had.

Slightly of topic, but I really do want to draw Jeffrey with goddess locs now. Ahh! He would look so pretty with them.

Is this shamelessy plugging some of my personal D3F headcanons? Yes. I don’t care.

Listen if I was immersed in the Miss Marple books, I would have also added posts about that. I am how ever not at all immersed with the stories. (I wish I could do Franzi’s love for the character justice.)

(Planning on drawing this in the future. Don’t know when yet. I don’t know how to do these fake screenshots of social media accounts.)

[baeddel]

Please. Please can you tell me what a baeddel is and why people (terfs?) used it in a derogatory manner on this website for a hot minute but now no one ever uses it at all

you asked for it, fucker

[2k words; philology and drama]

baeddel is an Old English word. i have no idea where it actually occurs in the Old English written corpus, but it occurs in a few placenames. its diminuitive form, baedling, is much better documented. it appears in the (untranslated) Canons of Theodore, a penitential handbook, a sort of guidebook for priests offering advice on what penances should be recommended for which sins. in a passage devoted to sexual transgressions it gives the penances suggested for a man who sleeps with a woman, a man who sleeps with another man, and then a man who sleeps with a baedling. so you have this construction of a baedling as something other than a man or a woman. and then it gives the penance for a baedling who sleeps with another baedling (a ludicrous one-year fast). then, by way of an explaination, Theodore delivers us one of the most enigmatic phrases in the Old English corpus: "for she is soft, like an adulturess."

the -ling suffix in baedling is masculine. but Theodore uses feminine pronouns and suffixes to describe baedlings. as we said, it's also used separately from male and female. but it's also used separately from their words for intersex and it never appears in this context. all of this means that you have this word that denotes a subject who is, as Christopher Monk put it, "of problematic gender." interested historians have typically interpreted it as referring to some category of homosexual male, such as Wayne R. Dines in his two-volume Encyclopedia of Homosexuality who discusses it in the context of an Old English glossary which works a bit like an Old English-Latin dictionary, giving Old English words and their Latin counterparts. the Latin words the Anglo-Saxon lexicographer chose to correspond with baedling were effeminatus and mollis, and Lang concludes that it refers to an "effeminate homosexual" (pg 60, Anglo Saxon). this same glossary gives as an Old English synonym the word waepenwifstere which literally means "woman with a penis," and which Dines gives the approximate translation (hold on tight) male wife.

R. D. Fulk, a philologist and medievalist, made a separate analysis of the term in his study on the Canons of Theodore 'Male Homoeroticism in the Old English Canons of Theodore', collected in Sex and Sexuality in Medieval England, 2004. he analysed it as a 'sexual category' (sexual as in sexuality), owing to the context of sexual transgressions in the Canons. he decides that it refers to a man who bottoms in sexual relationships with another man. i don't have the article on hand so i'm not sure what his reasoning was, but this seems obviously inadequate given what we know from the glossary described by Dines. Latin has a word for bottom, pathica, and the lexicographer did not use this in their translation, preferring words that emphasized the baedling's femininity like effeminatus, and doesn't address the sexual context at all. Dines, however, only reading this glossary, seems to decide that it refers to a type of male homosexual too hastily, considering the Canons explicitly treat them separately. both Dines and Fulk immediately reduce the baedling to a subcategory of homosexual when neither of the sources to hand actually do so themselves.

by now it should be obvious why, seven or so years ago, we interpreted it as an equivalent to trans woman. I mean come on - a woman with a penis! these days I tend to add a bit of a caution to this understanding, which is that trans woman is the translation of baedling which seems most adequate to us, just as baedling was the translation of effeminatus that seemed most adequate to our lexicographer. but the term cannot translate perfectly; its sense was derived from some minimal context; a legal context, a doctrinal context, and so forth... the way Anglo-Saxons understood sex/gender is complicated but it has been argued that they had a 'one sex model' and didn't regard men and women as biologically separate types, which is obviously quite different from the sexual model accepted today; in any case they didn't have access to the karyotype and so on. the basic categories they used to understand gender and sexuality were different from ours. in particular, Hirschfield et al. should be understood as a particularly revolutionary moment in the genealogy of transsexuality; the Institut für Sexualwissenschaft essentially invented the concept of the 'sex change', the 'transition', conceived as a biological passage from one sex to the other. even in other contexts where (forgive me) #girlslikeus changed their bodies in some way, like the castration of the priestesses of Cybele, or those belonging to the various historical societies which we believe used premarin for feminization [disputed; see this post], there is no record that they were ever considered men at any stage or had some kind of male biology that preceded their 'gender identity.' the concept of the trans woman requires the minimal context of the coercive assignment at birth and its subsequent (civil and bio-technological) rejection. i have never encountered evidence that this has ever been true in any previous society. nonetheless, these societies still had gendered relations, and essentially wherever we find these gendered relations we also find some subject which is omitted or for whom it has been necessary to note exceptions. what is of chief interest to us is not so much that there was such a subject here or there in history (and whatever propagandistic uses this fact might have), but understanding why these regularities exist.

a very parsimonious explanation is that gender is a biological reality, and there is some particular biological subject which a whole host of words have been conjured to denote. if this were the case then we would expect that, no matter what gender/sexual system we encounter in a given society, it will inevitably find some linguistic expression. if, like me, you find this idea revolting, then you should busy yourself trying to come up with an alternative explanation which is not just plausible, but more plausible. my best guesses are outside the scope of this answer...

anyway, all of this must be very interesting to the five or six people invested in the confluence of philology and gender studies. but why on earth did it become so widely used, in so many strange and unusual contexts, in the 2010s? we're very sorry, but yes, it's our fault. you see apart from all of this, there is also a little piece of information which goes along with the word baeddel, which is that it's the root of the Modern English word bad. by way of, no less, the word baedan, 'to defile'. how this defiled historical subject came to bear responsibility for everything bad to English-speakers doesn't seem to be known from linguistic evidence. however, it makes for a very pithy little remark on transmisogyny. my dear friend [REDACTED] made a playful little post making this point and, good Lord, had we only known...

it went like this. its such a funny little idea that we all start changing our urls to include the word baeddel. in those days it was common to make puns with your url (we always did halloween and christmas ones); i was baeddelaire, a play on the French poet Baudelaire. while we all still had these urls a series of events which everyone would like to forget happened, and we became Enemies of Everyone in the Whole World. because of the url thing people started to call us "the baeddels." then there was "a cult" called "the baeddels" and so forth. this cult had various infamies attatched to it and a constellation of indefensible political positions. ultimately we faced a metric fucking shit ton of harassment, including, for some of my friends, really serious and bad irl harassment that had long-term bad awful consequences relating to stable housing and physical safety and i basically never want to talk about that part of my life ever again. and i never have to, because i've come to realize that for most people, when they use the word baeddel, they don't know about that stuff. it doesn't mean that anymore.

so what does it mean? you'll see it in a few contexts. TERFs do use it, as you guessed. i am not quite sure what they really mean by it and how it differs from other TERF barbs. i think being a baeddel invovles being politically active or at least having a political consciousness, but in a way thats distinct from just any 'TRA' or trans activist. so perhaps 'militant' trans women, but perhaps also just any trans woman with any opinions at all. how this was transmitted from tumblr/west coast tranny drama to TERF vocabulary i have no idea. but you will also find - or, could have found a few years ago - i would say 'copycat' groups who didn't know us or what we believed but heard the rumours, and established their own (generously) organizations (usually facebook groups) dedicated to putting those principles into practice. they considered themselves trans lesbian separatists and did things like doxx and harass trans women who dated cafabs. if you don't know about this, yes, there really were such groups. they mostly collapsed and disappeared because they were evildoers who based their ideology on a caricature. i knew a black trans woman who was treated very badly by one of these groups, for predictable reasons. so long-time readers: if you see people talking about their bad experiences with 'baeddels', you can't necessarily relate it to the 2014 context and assume they're carrying around old baggage. there are other dreams in the nightmare.

the most common way you'll see it today, in my experience, is in this form: people will say that it was a "slur" for trans women. they might bring up that it's the root of the word bad, and they might even think that you shouldn't use the word bad because of it, or that you shouldn't use the word baeddel because it's a slur. all of this is a silly game of internet telephone and not worth addressing. except to say that it's by no means clear that baeddel, or baedling, were slurs, or even insulting at all. while Theodore doesn't provide us with a description of how we can have sex with a baedling without sinning, and it may be the case that any sexual relations with a baedling was considered sinful, sexuality-based transgressions were not taken all that seriously in those days. there was a period where homosexuality within the Church was almost sanctioned, and it wasn't until much later that homosexuality became so harshly proscribed, to the extent that it was thought to represent a threat to society, etc. and as i mentioned, there are places in England named after baedlings. there is a little parish near Kent which is called Badlesmere, Baeddel's Lake, which was recorded in the Anglo-Saxon Domesday Book (as having a lord, a handful of villagers and a few slaves; perhaps only one or two households). it's not unheard of, but i just don't know very many places called Faggot Town or some such. it's possible that baedlings had some role in Anglo-Saxon society which we are not aware of; it could even have been a prestigious one, as it was in other societies. there is just no evidence other than a couple of passing references in the literature and we'll probably never have a complete picture.

[canonicallyobserving911]

Evan “Buck” Buckley:  Life Lessons Learned

July 2–9, 2022:  Getting to know Buck & Eddie week

This post includes a detailed character study and scene analyses for seasons 1-5 to illustrate how there were life lessons included in each season for Buck to learn.

Every season Buck has either spoken with someone he already knew or met someone who taught him a life lesson.  While he learned some lessons rather quickly, there were other times when it took him several months or a couple of years to learn them.  The journeys he took to learn those life lessons were always shown and the finality of how he applied them to his everyday life were shown as well. Let’s review the lessons as they were presented in CANON.

Season 1

Buck spent a long time searching for someone who wouldn’t leave him.  He slept around a lot and he even got fired for stealing the firetruck to have sex with a woman on a rooftop.  Bobby rehired him but it wasn’t until he entered a relationship that Bobby started teaching him the proper way to treat the person he was dating.  Bobby taught Buck how to “step in” to a relationship and how to be there for that person.  Bobby told him, “It’s not uncommon for a guy to use quick, meaningless sex to avoid real intimacy”.  He also told him that having feelings of “closeness, intimacy and trust” in a relationship was good thing.  

The lesson for Buck was simple.  He learned how to be there and how to “step in” to assist the person he was in a relationship with.

Season 2

In 2x8 “Bucktually”, Buck met Thomas during a call and Thomas told him all about the life that he and his partner Mitchell had lived.  Thomas said, “We only wanted to go together” and Buck replied, “I hope that I can find something that good one day”.  That’s when Thomas replied, “You don’t find it son, you make it”. He was explaining the lessons about love and how two people can make it together.  It didn’t have to be a difficult process because if the two people in a relationship worked together, they could make something special.  Read blog post: “Buck & Eddie: Buck Misunderstood the Assignment” for information about Thomas and Buck’s conversation regarding love.

Buck learned two life lessons from Thomas: (1) he learned about true love and (2) he learned that it was ok for him to be in love with whomever he chose.  

Season 3

In 2x18 “This Life We Choose” after Buck’s leg was crushed by the ladder truck, Maddie was talking to him about his leg healing properly along with the things the doctors told him about having another surgery.  She told him, “So the doctor does want you to wait. You should listen to him. Ok, we’re talking about your health, your ability to walk. We’re talking about the rest of your life” and Buck responded, “Being a firefighter is my life. It’s the only thing that I’ve ever done that was important and that mattered. Ok? Without that I don’t have…”.  Then Maddie said, “You will still be Buck. Ok and we will all love you. There are lots of other important things you can do with your life”.  Buck said, “No. I’ve already made my choice”.

Buck said it back then that ‘being a firefighter was his life’ and he continued to fight so that he could go back to work, even after his embolism in 3x1 “Kids Today”. He filed a lawsuit against Bobby and the LAFD so that he could go back to work.  He returned to work in 3x6 “Monsters” but his job was still very important to him. He wouldn’t learn the life lesson regarding how one should ‘work to live and not live to work’ until several months later.

In 3x16 “The One That Got Away”, Buck met John “Red” Delacroix after he and the 118 completed a successful rescue of Gladys from a burning apartment building.  When they returned to the firehouse, Buck wanted to go out and celebrate but everyone else had plans so he went to a bar alone and that’s where he met Red who was a retired firefighter.  They had drinks and talked a lot about firefighting and the fact that Red didn’t have any children.  At the end of the night Buck walked Red home and when they arrived, Buck went inside with him to make sure Red got in safely and that’s when he saw a group picture of Red’s firehouse “The 134” from 1983.  Then Buck saw another picture of Red and a woman who Red had dated years ago.  Buck asked him what happened to her and Red told him he thought he had time to start a life and a family but the job always came first.  Red asked Buck, “You got anybody kid?” and Buck responded, “Me? Ah, no. I did once but uh”.  Then Red said, “Listen to me. You can be the hero, save lives but don’t neglect having your own. The last thing you want is to be at the end, holding nothing but regrets. Trust me. I know”.  

The life lesson Buck learned from spending time with Red was for him to not allow his job as a firefighter to become his whole life.

Season 4

Buck learned a family secret about his birth in 4x4 “9-1-1 What’s Your Grievance?” that had been kept from him his whole life.  While his parents were visiting L.A., he learned the reason why he was conceived and born.  It was so that he could be a savior baby for his brother Daniel who had leukemia.  The issue was his whole family kept the reason for his birth a secret from him and that’s why his parents were never there for him emotionally.  Maddie said they were still grieving in 4x5 “Buck Begins” but Buck couldn’t understand why no one ever told him about the things that happened.  

He started to doubt himself and his reason for existing after he narrowly escaped a warehouse fire.  He was trying to save a victim but the 118 had to come in to save him so that the victim could be rescued.  After he was outside and Bobby told Athena that Buck saved the last victim, she said the person he saved was probably glad that he was being Buck.  Buck told her that he didn’t know what being Buck meant. She told him, “You never give up. That’s what being Buck means to me.  But whatever you do, don’t stop!”

After Eddie was shot and the hospital was preparing to discharge him in 4x14 “Survivors”, he told Buck about the changes he made to his will that included him naming Buck as Christopher’s legal guardian.  Buck asked him why it took him more than a year to finally tell him about it and Eddie said, “Because, Evan. You act like you’re expendable, but you’re wrong.”  Eddie wanted Buck to understand that he was valuable and that he didn’t have to sacrifice himself. Read blog post: “Buck & Eddie: The Will & Legal Guardianship” for more information about Eddie’s will.

The life lesson Buck learned was that it was ok for him to just be himself. He didn’t have to be anyone else for him to feel valued.  

Season 5

Buck has feared being abandoned since he was young and that was due to the way his parents treated him.  As an adult, it was something he still struggled with especially after the people he had been in relationships with abandoned him.  Maddie told him he needed to get back out there and that he was lonely in 3x16 “The One That Got Away”; then he told her, “I mean, no offense but you’re never the one getting left behind. You’re the one who leaves”.   He went on to explain how she had left him but he wasn’t blaming her with regards to the situation she had with Doug.  

Season 5 revolved around Buck feeling like his family had abandoned him which caused him to cling to the person he was dating.  Maddie left because of her PPD, Chimney took Jee-Yun and left to follow her and then Eddie quit the 118. Buck blamed himself for Chimney leaving and he told the 118 that “Nothing is the same without him. Everything feels broken now and it’s my fault” Cap told him he wasn’t going anywhere and after everyone else told him they spoke to Chimney before he left, Buck felt a little bit better.

He continued to cling to a relationship that wasn’t working for him until 5x18 “Starting Over” when he made the decision to break up with her after she broke a promise that she made to him in 5x17 “Hero Complex”.  After having been the one who was always left behind in his previous relationships, Buck finally made the decision to be ok with being single.  He exhaled after she left his loft.  

The life lesson Buck learned after he experienced a life filled with abandonment was that it’s ok to be the one to end a relationship when things aren’t working.  

Buck has learned several lessons over the years and it all started with the relationship lessons Bobby taught him in season 1.  He learned how to step in with the person he was interested in so that he could be there for them.  He did that with Eddie in 2x4 “Stuck” when he contacted Bobby about Eddie’s childcare issues and when he contacted Carla to help Eddie get permanent childcare for Christopher.  Thomas taught Buck about love and how it was ok for him to love the person he would choose to be with because there was no preset ideology for him to follow. One of Buck’s fears has always revolved around him feeling and being alone. He left his parents’ house in 2012 and he traveled the Americas in the jeep Maddie gave him.  When he finally ended up in L.A., he joined the fire academy and became a firefighter with the 118.  Being a firefighter had become his life because according to him, it was the only thing that made him feel important.  Therefore, Red taught Buck that his job shouldn’t be the only thing he lived for and that he should save lives but also build the life he wanted for himself in the process.  After learning the reason for his birth, Buck started questioning his self-worth and that’s when both Athena and Eddie stepped in to remind him of some things.   Athena told him that being Buck meant he never stops and Eddie helped him to understand that his life was valuable. Finally he learned that he didn’t have to stick it out in a relationship hoping that things would in his words, “magically work themselves out” or that they eventually would get better. Buck learned he doesn’t always have to be the one left behind because he can decide to be the one who leaves.  

What life lesson will Buck learn during season 6? Only TPTB know the answer to that question.

[mcmoth]

Dream SMP fandom etiquette

So. This post is probably too little, too late, considering the fandom and the issues I'm about to talk about have existed for so long now, and a lot of the people who need to hear this probably aren't on tumblr anyways, but I just wanted to dedicate a quick post to talk about fandom etiquette. Mostly pertaining to discourse, and interactions with people outside of our circle. These are just going to be my own personal thoughts, of course, but I felt it could be good to bring some of this to attention. So without further introduction:

Where to (not) talk about discourse:

Don't go into other streamer's vods to only focus about a different character. If you want to analyse, for example, c!Techno, do it in Techno's stream. Don't go into unrelated streams, like Tommy's, Tubbo's etc. to do it, even if they were a part of the event in question. This is, of course, with the exception if the character in question didn't stream their own pov. But otherwise, stay in your own space. This is to prevent cluttering a streamer's comments about unrelated discussion. To give further example: Tubbo's vod comments should primarily focus on Tubbo's character. Not Tommy's, Ranboo's, Techno's or whoever else's.

Don't start discourse in the comments of animatics. Seriously, stop that. Animatics aren't discussion boards. The comments are there to analyse and appreciate the video presented, not argue. It's especially rude if you pick a small detail, that wasn't even the focus of the animatic, or even a completely unrelated issue to rant out your frustrations about. To give examples: starting disc discourse in an animatic of Tommy talking to Wilbur, or rambling about how tragic Techno's character is in an animatic focused on clingy duo, etc.

This applies to fan songs as well.

Video essays are the exception to these rules. I think it's safe to say they're the place to bring your hot takes, if you really feel so inclined to argue in youtube comment sections (Though I'd personally advise to still keep the topic relevant).

Keep negativity out of fanfic comments. This isn't nearly as big of an issue as the last points, but I've seen it happen a couple times, so I'm deciding to mention it. Fanfics are written for fun. Even if you disagree with the characterisation or something else, unless the author is clear in accepting critique, keep criticism to yourself. And definitely don't rant about how you dislike a character unrelated to the fanfic. Sharing your thoughts on the fanfic itself is of course fine and welcomed, but when it turns from discussing the author's story to talking about how you dislike a character in canon, that's when it crosses a line. Example: comment talking about what you don't like about c!Tommy on a Bench Trio fanfiction.

When commenting on art, keep the feedback positive. Even if you dislike any presented character, keep that to yourself. Example: Don't say things like "I hate x character, but this art is good". You might think the author would feel honoured, but it's actually just hurtful.

How to deal with discourse:

This is gonna be a shorter section, because I think we all chose to do it in different ways, and that's valid. Also, it's just that I, myself, am still learning how to do this well, but I thought it could be good to try to lay it out anyways.

Try to scroll past takes you disagree with instead of arguing if you don't think you'd be able to keep your cool. Noone likes a random person yelling at them through a screen, and if you rant, you'll get an equally frustrated reply back, and noone will be happy. Either explain your point in a calm manner, or scroll past/ unfollow/block.

On the keeping cool thing, remember to just step away. Take a deep breath and calm yourself down before proceeding. To minimize the frustration you feel on a daily basis, filter tags, block people, avoid videos and youtube comment sections that you know will upset you, and leave certain internet spaces if you find yourself unable to escape negativity even with all those steps. Remember: in the end, it's all a game played by friends, a story, and your enjoyment of it lies in what you take from it. Abandon what makes you unhappy. Marie Kondo your fandom experience.

Also, here's your reminder, to whom this is relevant, to take care of yourself. Hydrate, eat, sleep, clean up, get fresh air, remember the things outside of all this. There's plenty to do outside of this fandom, and what you can do here can wait. There is no pressure, or obligation. Not for the content you create, not for the discussions you bring, not for responding to discourse, not for anything. Fandom is meant purely for fun, so take care <3

Interacting with people outside of the fandom:

This is something that I've seen a bit of talk about, and I thought I'd drop in my own thoughts on this as well. No matter the differences, we're all just trying to vibe, and I think these are important things to keep in mind to leave both sides better off:

Don't interact with hate posts. Just don't. You don't want to see them, they don't want to see you. Even if your response is lighthearted, their animosity is not. They will feel frustrated regardless, and the grudge will only grow. And if they're being agressive, calm discussion most likely won't happen even if you're being polite. Just leave it, please.

Correct misinformation calmly. I completely get how it can be frustrating to see blatant lies and all, but with our reputation, people will not listen if you're being antagonistic. Provide sources, explain, and leave it at that.

Don't be hateful, send death threats, or assume privilege or whatever else. That's stepping into the same shoes of the people you hate. Misunderstandings go both ways, and the fact of the matter is, I think most people who dislike DSMP, even the ones who are agressive about it, don't have their stance rooted in maliciousness. To expand on why the situation became what it is today, taken from a discussion on discord:

I think it's just a combination of Dream growing so insanely quickly + how internet spaces have changed over the years. When ccs like jackstepticeye or pewdiepie etc. grew popular, activism wasn't as prevalent and held to such importance. Now it's thankfully more talked about, but that also leads to Dream being more scrutinized in comparision. Add twitter trends and the general prevalence of the fandom, and you've got everyone feeling tired and frustrated and paranoid. People also tend not to fact check stuff, especially when it comes to celebrities and stuff they're not really interested in, so rumors spread fast.

And actually, I think there's absolutely valid reasons to be made uncomfortable by Dream SMP, either in it's creators, content or fandom, and there is, of course, stuff to criticise in general. The problem is the hate and misinformation and overexposure, but we are not going to solve any of that by being aggressive in return.

(This is, by the way, not talking about more serious cases. Like doxxing, or leaving gore images in hashtags, or similar instances. That's a whole different complicated issue that I don't feel qualified to tackle.)

And finally, don't overwhelm outsiders who merely mention the Dream SMP. Don't send asks asking them to watch it, don't write paragraphs explaining the lore, don't confuse them with inside jokes, just... Don't jump on people like that. Unless they're explicitly clear in wanting interaction and getting into the fandom, that kind of thing will just drive them away. This is in no way exclusive to the Dream SMP fandom, pretty much every fandom has people enthiastic to have more people involved, but since there are so unbelievably many of us, it's especially easy to go overboard with this stuff. Just... be polite, and don't pressure anyone. Be nice, please.

So.... ya! This would be it for this one, I think. Sorry that it's kinda long, thank you if you read it at all. Hope y'all have pleasant days ^^

[randomnameless]

The fact that there are tons of people who refuses to see the original Japanese script as Canon really pisses me off. For bloody sake. It's a damn Japanese game. It's like if that certain version is more favored to their palates they'll just take it and insists that's the Canon one. Sounds like a whole lot of copium to me. Or the only language that exists for them is English. Ugh... Screw localisation issues

IDK if you're the same anon -

Ultimately I think everyone can enjoy the game they like and all, but when we're trying to write meta or discuss about meta related things...

That's where it fails.

Pat'n'pals's FE16 and 3 Nopes lean heavily in a "Church BaD" narrative, even if they couldn't outright erase and supress some lines due to "creative writing" or something.

But some people will try to extrapolate and analyse a lolcalisation exclusive line, and see what it brings to the game - that has never been written with the lolcalised line in mind.

Remember that line about Supreme Leader and the Slithers and who was supposed to be the puppet or the other? JP version of Tru Piss has Cornelia express surprise at Supreme Leader manipulating the Slithers, launching torpedos at the "uwu small girl was forced to do bad things bcs mole people bad" ship.

But too late, that ship already sailed anf fueled a long ass fic, thousand of takes and trillions of words about... fanon!Supreme Leader. Rather, lolcalised!fanon!Supreme Leader.

That post I rb'd today?

While I was still browsing redshit, many people said Clout offered a chance to surrender to Rhea (despite, you know, he and Supreme Leader's support or his earlier lines) and lo! This "maybe you could run away" was a lolcalisation exclusive line - should we be happy that the og game doesn't bring out (this time) the old'n'tried victim blaming "She forces me to kill her bcs she doesn't want to run away" ??

Maybe... or maybe not, since og!Clout instead double downs on the "if i'm killing you it's just because I want to see the world change lel" knowing well there's no option where she gets out of this place alive (rather, where Clout lets her get out of this place alive).

Back to redshit, we have people who wrote 50k words about the game, how deep and interesting it is and how it has ~meaningful themes~ only to discover that those themes and things they love about the game...

Were add-ons from the lolcalisation team.

The thing they love is not FE16, but lolcalised!FE16 - pointing it out will make some people rage because hey, they spent 800 hours talking about this game and the realisation that their discourse and walls of text are actually talking about the loLcalised copy pisses people.

Take it with a grain of salt, as a french loser who always switch to JP audio when available, but I have the feeling redshit and some fans really love "their game" and not "the game". Like, idk, maybe to the point of criticising Kikuko Inoue thinking she should act more like "Rhea" when she voices the character.

Is it entitlement because some people refuse to consider/interact with something that wasn't made "for" them?

Can you imagine, in this day and age, someone modifying/replacing ATLA's OST to make it more "palatable" to a french audience, and french people insisting that this "French OST" is a better fit for the scenes and conveys themes better than the original OST?

---

Tl; Dr : Anyone can have their favored version of pizza crust.

But when you start to develop theories about Naples’s cuisine and the importance of the thick crust in this cuisine based on the pizzas you find in Pizza Hut, you shouldn’t feel offended when people remind you that, no, Neapolitan pizza is something specific and it doesn’t have a thick, Pizza Hut crust.

So the previous essay is... well, completely missing the point, because you’re not talking about the topic of your essay, but talking about a “copy” of the main subject of your essay.

[analyzen]

Italian Fandom Meta | Most Popular Types of Pairings on EFP vs. AO3

EFP (2001–, Fanlore) is the most popular writing archive in Italy, and it hosts both fanfic and original fiction. Under the cut you’ll find a breakdown of the most popular types of pairings on EFP in comparison to the most popular types of pairings in the Italian section of AO3.

The Italian version of this analysis can be found here.

TL;DR:

53% of all the chapters ever posted on EFP have been deleted

49% of the registered users on EFP have deleted their accounts

M/F works amount to 60% of the whole website

EFP’s three most popular fandoms (Harry Potter, One Direction, Original Fiction – Romantic) all have a majority of M/F works

On AO3, most Italian works are M/M (56%)

F/F doesn’t have much content on either site (4-5%)

Methodology

I’ve followed @olderthannetfic’s methodology from this earlier Fanfiction.net analysis. Basically, I picked a sample size of 666 chapters and organized them in four categories (M/M, M/F, F/F, Not tagged; more on this later).

Why I chose chapters instead of stories

On EFP you don’t have specific links for every single story. Instead, every chapter you post gets a unique id, which can be seen in the link itself. For example, at the time of writing this the last updated chapter on EFP was this one:

viewstory.php?sid=3974099

Which means that this was the 3'974'009th chapter ever posted on EFP.

Ids follow the usual numerical order, so if a link reads id=3, then there have to be id=1 and id=2, and the next link will have id=4.

So I’ve used a randomizer to select ~1200 unique ids to analyse.

Weren’t 666 chapters enough?

I started out with 700 chapters, but half of them weren’t working. That’s because 53% of all the chapters ever posted on EFP have been deleted from the website.

Thanks to the link of the last updated chapter, we know that almost 4 millions chapters have been posted on the EFP. But EFP's homepage shows different stats:

Registered users: 602395, 205974 of which are authors Last registered user: [blacked out] Total of stories: 517083 Total of chapters: 1869573 chapters Total of reviews: 6222695 Online users: 17 logged in and 53 visitors

While we should have almost 4 million chapters, the stats show ~2 million chapters. Why? Because the stats only show the stories, chapters and users that are still on the website, and they don’t show the stories, chapters and users that have been deleted.

(Sorry, I forgot to translate this one. It reads: Total of chapters posted on EFP between 2001 and today. Orange: deleted chapters. Blue: chapters that are still online.)

Thanks to the stats on the homepage we also have a link to the last registered user. User ids follow the same numerical order as chapter ids, so once again we know that 49% of the users ever registered on EFP have deleted their accounts. That's a lot of deleted accounts.

Categorization

After selecting 666 (accessible) chapters, I organized them into 4 categories:

M/M: contains all stories tagged as “yaoi”, shounen ai” and “slash”

M/F: contains all stories tagged as “het”

F/F: contains all stories tagged as “yuri”, “shoujo ai” and “femslash”

Not tagged: which contains a) poetry, b) stories tagged as “no pairing”, and c) untagged het stories.

As for the untagged het stories, there are two issues:

Many M/F fics simply aren’t tagged

Many gen fics include untagged M/F ships

If the description made it clear that the story included a heterosexual relationship, I added the story under the M/F tag. Otherwise I left it under not tagged.

Also, on EFP “yaoi”, “shounen ai” and “slash”, and “yuri”, “shoujo ai” and “femslash” actually mean different things.

This screenshot here is from the posting page on EFP. It reads:

Pairings * You must select at least one tag from the list, and you can choose up to three tags. Het: for heterosexual relationships Shonen-ai: for male/male relationships with anime/game characters; stories with no sex scenes Shojo-ai: for female/female relationships with anime/game characters; stories with no sex scenes Yaoi: for male/male relationships with anime/game characters; stories containing sex scenes Yuri: for female/female relationships with anime/game characters; stories containing sex scenes Slash: for male/male relationships from TV shows/movies/books FemSlash: for female/female relationships from TV shows/movies/books

The thing is. People either respect the rules and use different tags for different kinds of stories, or they use these tags interchangeably to maximise the chance to appear in other users' searches. Which means that you’ll find RPF tagged with “shoujo ai”, and Attack on Titan fics tagged as “slash”. (More info on this later.)

Findings

On EFP, the majority of the stories are M/F.

To confirm this, I checked some specific fandoms:

Some notes:

Because EFP doesn't have metatags like AO3, what I did was: 1) go to a specific fandom, 2) filter through every single tag, and 3) jot down the number of pages per search. Every page contains up to 15 stories, so for example searching for het in Original Fiction – Romantic gives you 846 pages, which amounts to around ~12690 stories.

The tag in red, “Nessuna”, means “no pairing”. It is used for gen fics but also for untagged M/F fics. This is especially true in some fandoms, ie. Original Fiction – Romantic, and Harry Potter.

EFP’s filtering system sucks. You can only filter through stories with specific relationship tags, but you can’t filter out relationships tag. So what you see in the graph is how often a tag is used... which brings us to some issues. For example, Harry Potter is the biggest fandom on EFP, so much that Harry Potter stories amount to 11% (!) of the whole website. But in the graph it looks like the One Direction fandom has more stories—wrong. Actually, One Direction has many stories tagged as both slash and het, while Harry Potter stories tend to be either one or the other.

EFP’s filtering system sucks, part 2. Because “shounen ai”, “yaoi” and “slash” are often used at the same time, you can't really smash together all three of the tags to get a total amount of stories. I'd say that around 50% of the stories tagged as shounen ai and yaoi probably overlap, but there is no easy way to find out because, again, EFP’s filtering system sucks. The same goes for “shoujo ai”, “yuri” and “femslash”.

Fandoms with a majority of M/M stories

While there are some fandoms with more M/M stories (ie. Death Note, Hetalia, Glee, Sherlock, Supernatural, Teen Wolf), these fandoms are simply extremely small in comparison to other bigger fandoms full of M/F fics. Which obviously skews the numbers in favor of M/F fics.

What about femslash?

EFP suffers from the same lack of femslash as AO3 as a whole. In the fandoms I've analysed, only two have a big enough number of F/F. The fandoms are Glee (which has more F/F stories than M/F stories) and Grey's Anatomy (which has as much F/F as M/F stories, with little M/M).

Original Fiction

I thought it might be interesting to explore the original sections too, especially because Original Fiction – Romantic is the third biggest fandom on EFP after Harry Potter and One Direction. These Big 3 all have a disproportionate amount of M/F stories.

By logic, this would mean the the majority of the userbase on EFP prefers M/F stories. But then, aren't fans always complaining about “too much slash”? If “Any Two Guys” were enough to find slash appealing, wouldn't it be easier to simply write original M/M?

I think that looking at original stories might help us understand why people might prefer slash over het in some fandoms. For example, the amount of M/F stories in Original Fiction – Romantic implies that, when authors have to chance to choose what types of stories to create from scratch, they might prefer M/F stories.

This would support the theory that many people might prefer slash because of the lack of (well written/primary) canonical female characters + how well M/M relationships, both platonic and romantic, are written in canon texts in comparison to M/F or F/F relationships.

Obviously, we have to keep in mind that not all fanfic writers write original fiction and viceversa, so I'm not trying to find a universal explanation here. Also because not every website has a majority of M/F stories.

Which brings us to...

AO3 vs. EFP

As per today 20/04/21, the Italian section of AO3 contains “only” 24777 stories, divided between many different fandoms. To make a comparison, the Italian stories on AO3 amount to 5% of all the stories available on EFP. To make another comparison, the whole Naruto fandom on EFP has 20129 stories in total.

EFP has also been active for 20 years, while the boom of Italian fics on AO3 only started around 2018. We can't really make a 1:1 comparison between the two archives, but we can still try to understand the preferences of their users.

M/M and M/F stories on EFP vs. AO3

EFP: 60% M/F, 25% M/M

AO3: 56% M/M, 23% M/F

The percentages are almost swapped.

This might be because of the archives themselves. EFP has always been the general website for any Italian fandom (and actually at first it mostly hosted M/F content), while AO3 has always had a big M/M userbase. I'm basing this statement on this AO3 analysis from 2013, in comparison to this FFN analysis from 2018 which showed a majority of M/F fanworks, and finally this AO3 vs. FFN vs. Wattpad analysis from 2019, which showed that AO3 has always been the outlier for its majority of M/M content.

Then again, M/M stories on EFP have always been subject to the “usual” type of borderline-to-direct harassment that M/M fans are used to, which is something that still happens to this day especially in certain writing groups on Facebook, where the Italian writing community is pretty active. It wouldn't be weird for slashers to move to AO3, where they know they'll find more like-minded people and less headaches. (Also, the Italian section of AO3 has a lot of M/M RPF that's banned on EFP.)

The “Multi” tag on EFP

The only thing that barely resembles a multi tag on EFP is threesome, which for some reason is often used as a synonym for love triangle. So from the tags it isn't easy to understand if a fic includes an actual threesome (as in, a sex scene), a polyamorous relationship, or a simple love triangle.

This doesn't mean that there aren't poly stories on EFP—it simply means that they're impossible to find using the search system.

And that's all, I think!

[neqeyam]

Kaeya Head Canons!

hey besties, me again! Kaeya brainrot hit hard today LOL, anyways some of these may be ooc bc I don’t main Kaeya anymore so i’ve forgotten a lot about his character plus I don’t read the lore (where tf do yall find it even). 

Also if some of my head canons for any charcter seem personal or have nothing to do with their character it’s me projecting LOL! 

anyways, onto the hcs!

(ps, thank you so much for the love on my last hc post! i really didn’t expect anyone to see it LOL)

He’s a menace. but everyone loves him

Kaeya skips, when he isn’t in a professional setting my guy is skipping. It’s so much faster than walking and more fun than walking. 

This^ is especially true when he’s out with his s/o. holding your hand, he’ll skip and force you to either jog or skip along with him to keep up. 

Again I say; he’s dating Albedo. Kaeya saw Albedo from across the bar and without missing a beat he got up, waltzed over and started flirting with him. Albedo had no idea what was happening, he then asked sucrose to accompany him the next time he went and it was sucrose who broke the news to Albedo that he was being flirted with. Kaeya laughed for 5 minutes and refuses to let Albedo forget it. 

(oh my god tell me why as soon as I go to write these they all leave my mf brain im sorry if these are terrible) 

Kaeya taught bennett how to sword fight, and still does on the rare occasion he has a free hour. 

^most people of Mondstadt think bennett went to Kaeya for help but that’s not true. Someone sent in a letter to AGM Jean (the hand writing looked suspiciously like Diluc’s but he refuses to admit it was him) saying that bennett was looking into learning the art of the sword. The next day Kaeya dispatched himself to look for bennett and for the next two months (technically it’s been like two years but bennett is a fast learner) Kaeya was a dad. 

Kaeya absolutely despises working out but he does it anyways because he wants to be able to pick up kids. 

Kaeya is AMAZING with kids, he makes jokes about hating them but when he sees one he melts. He has to work with them a lot because he is often dispatched for travel mishaps (hilichurls attacking carriages, that sort of thing) and often times the parents are injured so he has to comfort any kids that may be on scene. 

Kaeya is buff, absolutely jacked. you can’t see it because he dresses modestly (sorta) to down play his physical strength but my guy can deadlift like 350 LBS (idk if that’s a lot tbh I don’t workout anymore LMAO)

Kaeya is as smart as he is muscular. He’s among the smartest knights, probably top three (it goes kaeya, jean, lisa). HOWEVER, he ranks first in battle intelligence. my guy can analyse four opponents at the same time, find all their weak spots and exploit them in matter of seconds. 

Kaeya is also a master of manipulation. i can see it in his eyes, this man knows the mind of all his enemies, old and new. 

(wait now i’m imagining Kaeya riding a horse that’s full sprint HELP. I’m turning myself into a Kaeya simp....)  

Kaeya’s horse is all black except for a white patch that looks suspiciously like the star from Khaenri’ah (it’s on its lower neck). his horse is also by far the fastest in the entire company and was once part of a herd of horses that roamed Mondstadt’s country side. (Diluc helped him tame it but shhh nobody is supposed to know)

^Kaeya was extremely pissed of when Varka took his cavalry, still is in fact. I mean, he’s the cavalry captain damn it, find your own horses. Especially because there were enough horses so Kaeya’s could stay behind in case he needed it for something, but NOOOO Varka refused anything but teh best- which happened to be Kaeya’s horse.

Kayea’s named his horse Außenseiter, and that is absolutely a reflection of his feelings. 

Kaeya is fucking fantastic at masking what he’s feeling, you’ll never know what he’s actually feeling. If a situation starts to go downhill, you won’t know it until it’s practically too late because Kaeya is just. that. good. 

he’s also fucking fantastic at playing the long game. nobody knows but he’s the knights of favoniouses official interrogator and he is a menace. he always gets what he wants out of people, whether it takes two hours and two months, he gets it, and reports directly to AGM Jean his findings. 

Kaeya and Eula share ‘war stories’ (how they go their visions mostly, but other things like the way people treat Eula, and how they chalk Kaeya up to being ‘just a flirt’) 

he has a fan club. they aren’t as loud as the Diluc fan club but he knows they’re there. sometimes he’ll pop in on meetings and everyone just. fucking freezes bc their lord and savior- THE Kaeya is standing in their presence. he loves them. 

He openly talks about liking anyone he wants to so that the youth of mondstadt can talk about as well. and the LGBTQ+ of mondstadt know that if they’re having a problem with someone they have his permission of threaten said person with his name. 

^and archons hope he isn’t in the vicinity when it reaches that point. all rational goes out the window and then he’s all threats and no jokes. with a threatening smile that screams “test me, see what happens” 

^then he treats whoever was being disrespected to a meal, on him.

and that’s all for now! thanks again for the love on my first head canon post! i really need to learn how to use tumblr so i can make a masterlist of these LOL. there will definitely be more coming soon!

[anzcty]

Analysing Episode 6 Sylvie - her actions, her choice and a whole bunch of theories (Spoilers!)

After watching the Loki finale, I have been scrolling through Tumblr for quite a long time. I already knew that people's opinions were gonna be incredibly different but I definitely did not expect this much negative backlash. Especially when it comes to two specific topics - the Sylvie and Loki kiss and Sylvie's betrayal (/choice/actions). I'm gonna be talking about the latter, for it is another time I'll talk a lot about Sylki's relationship. (Beware that this post is also really long though)

First of all, everyone has different opinions and I respect that. I absolutely adore movies, books, TV-shows and videogames because despite what's happening within the story, each viewer has the opportunity to see something else in what they are shown (besides the obvious canon). What I mean is that everyone interprets certain scenes differently and gains the opportunity to make up theories. Therefore I want to clarify that I do, by no means, want to force my views upon others. It's nice to see people talk about the Loki Series (as long as it doesn't get too negative and hateful, iykwim) because every viewer can share their specific experiences with it :)

I'm gonna analyse Sylvie's character a bit ( because, well, I'm bored and I kinda wanna protect my beloved character that I've only had for a few weeks >:^0 AND the only thing I could think about the past day was this episode) and try to explain her actions in the finale (keep in mind: not justifying them, but explaining them).

I'm terribly bad at concentrating on one single topic point so I kinda made a 'list' with questions and whatnot that I wanted to dive deeper into. Your thoughts are also more than welcome!

I already want to apologise for grammatical mistakes, for I am not a native english speaker.

Sylvie's reason for being taken away by the TVA is still kinda unknown

You know, I've heard quite a few theories about Sylvie's nexus event by now. Some people say that she got taken away because she was playing with her toys in a way that indicates her having a good heart (playing as a Valkyrie and wanting to save someone, another hint may also be the reaction she showed towards someone else who got kidnapped by the TVA, yelling at the soldiers to "help them out"). Another theory is that she already knew she was adopted, unlike Loki who found out way later than her. Please correct me if I'm wrong, but we never got to hear the actual reason why Sylvie got kidnapped. Even Renslayer didn't say a word about it.

Now I'm gonna come up with yet another theory. What if Sylvie didn't really have a nexus event in the first place how we know it? In the final episode, Kang has said that he has planned out everything beforehand so both Loki and Sylvie would end up right in front of him. Did Kang's plan also possibly involve him getting killed by Sylvie? Hear me out: We don't actually know if the Kang we saw in episode 6 is the actual 'nice' Kang and not one of his evil variants. He has already talked about 'reincarnation', so who says that after ending the first universial war, Kang didn't reincarnate into someone with an unpure heart (aka, one of his evil variants)? That'd mean that the real Kang would have been killed and the Kang we've seen in the finale is actually an evil version that simply lied to both Loki and Sylvie. Besides that, we also don't know if Kang actually had that 'point' where he didn't know what would happen next. The show revolves a whole lot around trust, not only regarding the characters, but also the viewers. Who's to say that Kang said the truth? Maybe he planned it all out: He created the TVA, let Sylvie get kidnapped and therefore give her a reason to hunt after Kang, who in return could reincarnate if he got killed OR get killed and therefore give his other variants a possibility to conquer the universes yet again. Don't you think that it was kinda suspicious that Sylvie escaped so easily out of Renslayer's hands? The one person who's probably closest to Kang? (Even though, yes, she doesn't know who he is but Renslayer seems to play a very important role in his plan). What if the Kang we saw was the nice Kang though? Would he plan everything up to a point where another universial war would break out because he might know that there is indeed something/someone out there who could end it and therefore, possibly end Kang as a whole or create a new kind of system revolving around the universe? And therefore, get rid of the possibility of another universial war happening? Who knows. I am definitely overthinking and reaching at this point. One more thing that stood out to me while thinking about the episode again today (which kinda weighs more into my theory of Sylvie being a keypoint (or rather a puppet) in this plan): Kang has talked about his Tempad and that he knew that he would need it to have enough energy. But for what? Yes, his initial idea was to give it to Loki and Sylvie to rule over the TVA, but what if it was supposed to be used for another reason? Sylvie used it to transport Loki back to the TVA (though I kinda think he was accidentally transported to another timeline, hence the reactions of both Mobius and Hunter B-15) and therefore get rid of the only thing that could prevent Sylvie from killing Kang. The Tempad was used to secure Sylvie's path and therefore eradicated Kang's only option of safety. You can see the Tempad loosing it's glow after Kang was killed, possibly due to Kang himself being the origin of it's energy. But maybe, it only had enough energy for one specific action: getting rid of Kang's protection. I do think that Sylvie is now stuck at this place and somehow has to find a way back to Loki's reality. The Tempad clearly doesn't work anymore (at least in my opinion) and there was quite a long shot showing the Tempad up close, which is kinda suspicious tbh. Also, something regarding Sylvie's unanswered nexus event feels kinda odd to me, too.

My theory in conclusion: Sylvie (and Loki) are unconciously helping Kang with his plan (a big, big, BIG plan). They're his puppets, especially Sylvie, because she's the one who created the Multiverse to begin with. Think about Loki, who was said to be manipulated by Thanos in Avengers? It's basically the same train of thoughts.

Sylvie does not take Kang's offer into consideration

To be honest, this was something to be absolutely expected of her. Sylvie was kidnapped as a child, taken away from her home and family, and had to grow up in countless apocalypses where she could never form a real bond with anybody because she knew that those people were all going to die anyway. (Please don't judge me if I got that wrong, maybe I understood the next thing wrong? Idk, if so, I'm very sorry) She revealed that she was kidnapped way before Loki was even born (something I have to think about, too, because, if Loki is the actual Loki the other variants are based off, why did he exist after Sylvie? Wouldn't that make him a variant of Sylvie instead? Idk timelines and parallel universes are hard to understand for me :') I'm kinda stoopid ), therefore she must've had spent several decades of her life running away. She had no life at all. Her only goal was to bring down the TVA and whoever is behind it, driven by pure rage, seeking out revenge for stealing her life and basically forbidding her existence. And now that she has found said person, the only thing that'd be right for her character would be to go for the kill. As immoral as it may sound, it is the only thing that makes sense. And I am actually very happy that Sylvie's goals didn't change besides the fact that she did indeed soften up a little and has gotten someone really close to her. In contrary, it makes sense for Loki to do the exact opposite. His goals have changed. He does not act the way he did in Thor or Avengers anymore. He has found another goal for himself: to make Sylvie feel alright. He has had immense character growth and didn't take a chance to change his goals back in the Thor movies or in Avengers, (....maybe later in Thor: Ragnarok, kinda). This is exactly what I think might happen to Sylvie, too. She is at the beginning of her character arc. She doesn't take the chance to change her goal, but goes for her original goal instead. Said goal does not really have positive consequences (though, maybe it might have some? We're about to find out), which results in a so called 'negative character development', which Loki has already gone through. I think that Sylvie is gonna grow as a character in season 2 and get a positive character development in addition, just like Loki did. I highly doubt that she's gonna become the antagonist, it does not make sense at this point.

Why does she not take Kang's offer (besides her very obvious intention ofc)? That leads straight (or not so straight, pun intended) to the next thing I wanna talk about. Sylvie's distrust in everything and everyone. Besides not wanting to let other people go through what she has been gone through and wanting to let people have a free will, she also does not trust Kang with his offer of 'ruling' the timeline. And it might be because she also does not trust the one she'd be ruling with: Loki.

Why does Sylvie not trust Loki?

I don't even have a specific answer to that, except that Sylvie has an incredibly thick wall built up around her. Loki has always been portrayed as the one you should not trust because he's known for backstabbing people. Loki could have thought the same about Sylvie, but he didn't. Due to his character arc, he himself has learned to trust other people and tries to redeem himself with making himself a person others can trust (He may project that onto Sylvie, meaning that he puts his trust into a Loki variant and therefore in himself, too). You can connect that fact with both Sylvie and Mobius. They're both people who are incredibly important to Loki. He wants them to trust him. He openly told Sylvie about his mistakes and tells her that he's not that person anymore. Sylvie on the other hand does not trust that easily and is - in my opinion - a very important key regarding Loki's character development. It is incredibly hard for Sylvie to trust others (probably due to her trauma) and it therefore creates a very difficult situation for Loki, where he has to 'prove' himself as trustworthy. It's basically about 'trusting yourself' if you put it that way. It's something Loki has to learn about himself: not betraying the trust of others. Sylvie might have to learn something like this, too: learning to trust someone else. It's kinda like a two sided coin - one side is about putting trust in others, whereas the other is about gaining trust from others (and what you do with it). (Good) Relationships in general are always based off trust and honesty. So in order for them to be able to have healthy relationships with others and themselves, they have to learn about trust within themselves (I hope you understand my point, I got carried away, sorry). Loki started to trust Sylvie very easily (maybe because of love? Maybe because of something else? There are still a lot of unanswered questions) whereas Sylvie doesn't trust Loki very easily. Sylvie's character arc might (hopefully) carry on with this topic in the next season.

Was that kiss initiated due to emotional or practical reasons?

Kinda both, somehow. I do think that Sylvie used the kiss to her advantage but you can also clearly see how moved she is while hearing Loki's words. Facial expressions are insanely important when it comes to acting and both Tom and Sophia delivered perfectly. You might've already heard of the quote "The eyes tell more than words could ever say". Look at Sylvie's face when Loki tells her that he wants her to be okay. She is teary eyed, sighs even. She is indeed touched by his words and I strongly think that Sylvie also has non-platonic feelings for Loki, despite barely showing anything.

Here's a snippet out of an interview with Sophia:

(Source)

Both Sylvie and Loki are said to be people who can not trust others. They both have a vulnerable side though. Loki clearly showed that several times when with Sylvie (singing to her, the blanket scene, the comfort scene in the room of the timekeepers, the confession of wanting her to be okay) and is also shown incredibly vulnerable at the end of episode 6: there are several shots showing him, crying. Sure, we have already seen Loki cry a few times beforehand but this time, it's different. He cries because the one person he is the most vulnerable with doesn't trust him, and that does hurt like hell. By the way, if you look at the close-up shot of Sylvie after she yeeted Loki back into the TVA, you can see pain in her eyes, too. But that pain quickly shifts into rage and determination. Something that I have to admit was incredibly well executed by Sophia and the people who directed this shot. Sylvie does show her vulnerable side for a brief moment before putting up her walls again and reaching for her goal.

In conclusion: I think Sylvie initiated the kiss as an emotional response to Loki's words but also used it to distract him to be able to kick him back into the TVA at the same time. Keep in mind that it was because he was in her way of fullfilling her goal. She didn't want to kill or hurt him, so she sent him away instead. So, yes, I think the kiss had both emotional and practical intentions.

Did Sylvie betray Loki?

Even though it really felt like she betrayed him, she didn't. Let me tell you why:

Loki knew exactly what Sylvie was gonna do after reaching the person behind the TVA. Loki supported her all the way up until Kang suggested a deal to them, that's where Loki's and Sylvie's paths divided. Loki is a very smart character, he outsmarts a lot of Marvel characters and therefore I think it's very in character for him to consider one part of the deal and outweigh the pros and cons. Not because he wants the throne, no, but because he wants Sylvie to be okay. A universial war could lead to countless casualties - possibly those people close around him, so of course he would want to keep her safe through that decision. Making them both rulers over the TVA and the sacred timeline would probably guarantee a strong protection from several threats. Also, maybe he thought about the possibility of Sylvie regretting her decision (which she clearly did in the end) and wanted to protect her from even more emotional pain. But as we know, Sylvie's intention has always been laid out in front of her and it didn't change. Loki knew what choice she was going to make and merely tried to change her way - without being successfull.

I don't really know what to think about this scene though. To me, it doesn't meet the requirements of a 'betrayal' but at the same time it does feel like one. It's very difficult to explain :'D

Also, I've seen some people asking themselves how or if Loki will ever be able to forgive Sylvie for making her decision. Let me assure you one thing: he will forgive her. He has said it himself: "I know what you're feeling, I know what you're going through". He has been at Sylvie's point, too. Not only once, but several times already. He seems to have learned from his mistakes, Sylvie has yet to do so. ("I betrayed everyone I've ever loved" is a line to keep in mind now, too. Maybe it could even be projected onto Sylvie this time, because Loki is indeed very dear to her) If there's someone out there who can empathise with Sylvie the most, it is Loki.

Why would Sylvie straight up cause another Universial War?

As I already said. Sylvie's arc is a negative character arc. It does not end well and causes a lot of chaos. Think about Peter Quill in Infinity War and his rage moment on Titan. They could have had the infinity gauntlet way before but Peter got emotional (understandable) and therefore destroyed the chance of an early good ending. The same happened with Sylvie. Her decision was mostly emotional, but also practical on the other hand (giving people free will and freedom). She will face the consequences and I'm pretty sure she's gonna redeem herself and tries to help fix the big mess she has caused.

Sylvie's breakdown

Another scene that was absolutely brilliant was the scene after Sylvie has killed Kang. She backs off slowly and then slumps to the ground, breathing heavily (now that I think about it, I think she even started to cry). She has waited for this moment her whole life, but now that it's done, it kinda feels like she didn't exactly get what she needed. Hunter B-15 has already mentioned it before that Sylvie needs to hunt the person behind the TVA down, unlike Renslayer, who only wants to find out who it really is. Although Sylvie might have recognized that this wasn't everything she needed at this point. We already got to know that she didn't have a clue what to do after she's done with the TVA. She didn't have a goal beyond that. And now that she has reached the point where she is clueless, she might have recognized what she really needed beyond finishing her goal: friends, a life, literally anything that doesn't make her feel alone. And she literally just kicked that one thing away from her. Loki, the one person who has been closest to her and gave her the feeling of not being alone anymore, the feeling of having a friend (or someone more than a friend), has been pushed away by herself. I think that in this exact moment where she sinks to the ground she recognizes that not trusting Loki was a mistake this time and that revenge isn't enough to satisfy her forever.

But maybe that one thing that will satisfy her for a long time is something she's returning back to in season 2. I am so excited to see her again and find out more about Sylvie's character!

Thank you so much for reading this! If you want to add something to this list or correct something or anything, feel free to do so. I'd love to hear your thoughts on Sylvie's character in the finale and what you think might happen with her in season 2 :) see y'all, stay safe and have a nice day/night!

[nyctolovian]

Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale & Crowley (Good Omens) Additional Tags: Religious Discussion, Forgiveness, Guilt, Religious Guilt, Fallen Angels, Fallen Angel Aziraphale (Good Omens), (sort of?), Self-Hatred, Self-Esteem Issues, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt, Post-Canon, Post not-pocalypse, Canon Compliant, Coping, Warning: somewhat critical of god

Summary: When Aziraphale and Crowley's wings turn the same grey, Aziraphale does not take it well and begins to fear that he might be Falling with a capital F. Crowley finds his angel in a crushing spiral into immense self-blame and guilt, desperately seeking God's forgiveness.

"Heya, angel!” Crowley announced as he swung the door to the bookshop open. “I’ve got some really important stuff to discuss. Urgently. So could you maybe, um, close shop early today?” 

Aziraphale, who was shelving some books, twirled round to face Crowley, already lighting up with glee at the sound of his voice. “Well, of course!” he said, placing the books down on the stool beside himself. He’d always liked having an excuse for closing early so it was lovely to have his favourite one walking right through the doors on a Monday afternoon. “What exactly would you like to discuss?”

With a snap of Crowley’s fingers, the door was miraculously locked and the open/close card was flipped. “Here’s not good,” he replied, extra fidgety today as he eased his weight on one leg and then the other. “Upstairs maybe?”

The smile on Aziraphale’s face slowly slipped as he was ushered up the stairs to his living quarters. “Oh dear… Is something the matter?”

Crowley audibly winced. “Upstairs first, alright?”

Aziraphale let out a noise of confusion but allowed himself to be guided upstairs. Crowley pushed him to sit on the bed that miraculously appeared just a couple weeks after the Almost-pocalypse. He set his fists atop his knees and looked up at Crowley, who removed his sunglasses. 

“I need you to take out your wings,” he said. 

“Pardon?”

Of course, Crowley caught the tension in the angel’s voice and said calmly, “Your wings. I’d like to check something.”

Aziraphale nodded. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Slowly, he drew his wings out into their dimensional plane. He felt his back grow heavy with a comfortable weight and his wings, slightly stiff from disuse, stretched the aches out of itself. 

When he opened his eyes again, Crowley was looking at his wings. His eyebrows raised as he muttered, “Yup. I figured.”

Aziraphale frowned as he curled his wings forward. His jaw fell when instead of the pure white wings he was used to, mottled grey wings came into view. “Wh-What is this?” he cried. Then, his mind did a twist and he looked at Crowley anxiously. “What about yours?” he said, standing up and holding Crowley’s arms. 

“Calm down,” he said, gently pulling Aziraphale’s hands away. Then, he took his own wings out as well, and they were no longer pitch black either, and were instead the same mottled grey as Aziraphale’s. “A bit of a shame, honestly. I’ve always liked black,” Crowley joked. “We’re really on our own side, aren’t we?” Like a gentleman asking for a dance, he held a hand out towards Aziraphale. 

Aziraphale, however, flinched away. “I’ve clearly done something wrong.”

Crowley frowned. “What could you have possibly done wrong, angel?”

“I-I don’t know,” Aziraphale admitted as he paced around the bedroom. “But I must have done something that warranted this change.”

“I changed too, didn’t I?” Crowley said, stretching his own grey wing out. “We have the same wings.”

“Yes, but it’s different, Crowley,” Aziraphale said, frustration building. “If my wings are turning grey, then it must mean I’m…” A shiver ran down his spine as he looked up at Crowley with imploring blue eyes. “Could it be… that I am Falling?”

“What?!”

Aziraphale wrung his hands and his gaze fell to the wooden flooring. “That’s the only reasonable explanation, isn’t it? This is… a sign that I’m Falling. F-For going against one of God’s plans, perhaps.”

“Yeah,” Crowley said, rolling his eyes. “And I’m getting back in heaven’s favour. I’m being forgiven. Lovely.” He sighed. "Listen, you're not Falling. I know what that's like and this isn't it. God's a lot crueler than this."

"M-maybe She's giving me a second chance."

Crowley pulled a face of doubt. "Are we really talking about the same God?" He sighed. "Besides, even if you really are falling—which you aren't—it ain't that bad honestly. I quite like being a demon sometimes. For one, black wings are much cooler than white ones."

"But I don't want to fall! I like being an angel!" Aziraphale exclaimed. He took a deep breath as he clenched and unclenched his hands. “I… I need to do something. Seek forgiveness. Make up for my mistake. My wings are only turning grey so I’m clearly being given a chance to redeem myself, right?”

Worry set into Crowley’s features firmly now. “Since when do we care about what heaven thinks anyway? They tried to murder you with hellfire!”

“That was just Gabriel and those angels,” Aziraphale argued. “I just… I want to do right by the Lord.”

“You saw how She didn’t care about Earth, didn’t you? Whole bloody apocalypse just for the stupid war.”

“It probably was within God’s ineffable plan for the apocalypse to be stopped.”

Crowley threw his hands up. “God,” he said, “didn’t stop anything. We did!” He sighed, trying to reign in the rage that he knew was trickling into his voice. He lowered his voice into something gentle again as he reached for Aziraphale. “Angel–”

“Don’t!” Aziraphale said, snatching his hand back. “Don’t call me that!” His anger instantaneously melted, however, upon seeing hurt flashing across Crowley’s golden eyes. “I need some time by myself,” he said. “Can you give me that?”

Crowley’s eyes wobbled with hesitation. Finally, he said, “Sure, angel.”

***

Crowley gave Aziraphale a full day before popping by again to check on him. The first worrying sign had been how the shop was closed, despite it being only barely noon. As much as Aziraphale liked closing early, he usually stayed open till at least 2pm just so he could say that the shop had been open.

Crowley had also noticed that the books Aziraphale had left on the stool were still sitting there, untouched. He cursed under his breath and dashed up the stairs to the living quarters. He was somewhat relieved to see the angel at his worktable. Too busy muttering to himself, he hadn’t noticed Crowley enter at all. 

Cautiously, Crowley walked to his side. Atop the table were copious amounts of notes and several different volumes of the Bible. Concerned, Crowley placed a hand on his shoulder, and Aziraphale jerked back. 

“Ah,” he exhaled. He flusteredly smiled at Crowley as he adjusted his reading glasses. “You’ve come just in time, my dear. It seems that I need your opinion on this matter.” He picked up a notebook from under a pile of papers, flipped to a bookmarked page and continued, “Do you think it’s that time I used that miracle to reserve that last remaining pancake two days ago? It was really quite a frivolous miracle, and perhaps that was the last straw.” 

“Wait,” Crowley said, his hand returning to Aziraphale’s shoulder, this time firm. “What on earth are you talking about?”

“Why my wings turned grey of course!”

Crowley gestured to the mess of a table. “And what does all this have anything to do with it?”

“I’m trying to figure out what exactly I did wrong that upset God and turned my wings grey.” Aziraphale sighed and dug up another notebook, which he opened to a dog-eared page. “I was also thinking perhaps… Well, maybe the punishment was only just issued yesterday and it wasn’t actually for something recent. I’m also thinking maybe it was about that time in 1367 when I poured–”

“1367?!” Crowley exclaimed. He grabbed one of the papers off the table and read it. “578 AD?! Wh-” He looked at Aziraphale, brimming with concern. “Why are you going so far back?”

“Because I’ve been doing so much wrong!” Aziraphale cried, twisting the ring on his pinky. “They… My indiscretions. They began since God knows when. I’ve been doing so much wrong since… since the beginning of time, I believe. I don’t even know if giving away that flaming sword had actually been the right thing.” His hands were shaking with torment. "I'm such a terrible angel."

The demon's heart damn near broke in two at the sight of his angel in this state. He looked at the mess of paper and books in disbelief. He shook his head. "This is just too much, angel," he pleaded. "You shouldn't be made to list down every single thing you did in the past six thousand years and made to… to analyse it all."

"I didn't want to entertain the possibility but…" Aziraphale's voice was soft, distraught, vulnerable, like a child asking their parents to check under the bed for monsters. "But… what if it's everything, Crowley? How could I seek forgiveness from God if it's just… everything?" He squeezed his eyes shut. "I don't know how I…"

Crowley leaned in closer. There was a vice around his chest, clamping down and hurting him. Why must his angel suffer like this? What has he ever done to deserve this pain? This crushing guilt? “They’re mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes, all sorts of them. We just do better next time, right?”

"But I shouldn't be making mistakes! I'm an angel. I'm meant to do good." Aziraphale pushed Crowley away and picked up his pen and notebook again. "I need to find out what it was that I've done wrong. Otherwise, it'd be terribly insincere to apologise without even knowing what I'm apologising for, isn't it?"

Crowley ripped the pen and notebook out of Aziraphale's hand. "If the Almighty wants an apology, She'd better get down here and explain what She's so bloody upset about!"

Aziraphale slammed the table. "She shouldn't have to! I'm an angel. I ought to know." 

"No! It's just unfair. God and Her ineffable plans, moving in mysterious ways and playing ridiculous card games we don't know the rules to in the dark.” He walked in a tight circle, running a hand through his hair, before turning to face Aziraphale again. “How could we be expected to know? Even now, I still don't even know why I got tossed down into a pool of hot boiling sulfur because She never bothered to explain anything! Six thousand years and still no explanation whatsoever!"

Aziraphale flinched, and Crowley felt a pang of guilt. 

Lowering his voice, he said, “Look, God hasn’t explained anything then, and She isn’t starting anytime soon. Okay?”

Plucking his reading glasses from his face and closing his eyes to massage his nose bridge, Aziraphale said, “I want to do right by Her. Why is that so hard?” 

Crowley sagged. It hurt him terribly to see his angel so distraught, so frantic, so helpless.

“Perhaps…” Aziraphale breathed. “Perhaps, I’m not worthy of it.”

A beat.

"I forgive you," the demon whispered.

Aziraphale's eyes flew open and he stared at Crowley, eyebrows tightly knitted. "You forgive me?" he bit out. At the silence, his brow furrowed further with fury. "You can't do that. Take that back."

"I forgive you," he repeated.

"What are you forgiving me for?" Aziraphale yelled. 

"All the wrongs you did. Everything. I forgive you."

"You can’t!" he insisted. 

“Why not?”

Aziraphale glared in silence.

"You're not made to carry six thousand years worth of self-blame and guilt. You're a good angel, even if God doesn't recognise that."

"But I want to do right by Her," Aziraphale said, tears welling up in his eyes. "I just… I want Her to forgive me. If I knew what exactly I did wrong, maybe…" His breath hitched, words stuck upon his throat.

Crowley knelt down and held his angel's face. He was trembling so hard Crowley feared that if he let go, he'd simply shatter and crumble apart. 

"I just want to do the right thing," Aziraphale said. "It used to be so straightforward. If it was as God intended, what I was doing couldn’t possibly be wrong. But now…" He looked up at the ceiling, as though willing the wetness of his eyes to disappear, but a tear had already spilled out and rolled down his cheek, damping Crowley's fingers. Then, a couple more followed, like beads of a snapped bracelet. He relented and sagged in his seat. “I don’t know.”

Crowley used his thumb to wipe the tears away but they continued to fall uncontrollably and he couldn't catch them all.

Aziraphale's voice was thick with tears when he spoke and his bottom lip wobbled with grief. "I don't know what's the right thing anymore. I don't know if I've ever done anything right," he said, placing his hands over Crowley’s and pulling them away from his face. “I feel like I've done everything wrong but I don't know who to seek forgiveness from.”

Crowley turned his hands slowly to grasp Aziraphale’s. “You haven’t done everything wrong, I promise. Maybe some things. But we all mess up sometimes. We don't have it all figured out most of the time and that's okay," he said. "We're trying our best to correct what we can, and that's enough." 

Aziraphale looked at Crowley, clinging to his words like a lifeline. Gently, Crowley squeezed his hands.

"Forgive yourself, angel. You don’t need to carry this six-thousand-year weight. And I can't bear to see you hating and hurting yourself like this, please."

When Aziraphale leaned forward, Crowley let go and allowed him to fall slowly into his arms. Aziraphale pressed his face to Crowley's shoulder, just as silent sobs began to shake his being.  He pulled their hands close to his chest and squeezed. Crowley squeezed back. 

Pressing closer still, Aziraphale muttered into Crowley's shirt, "I’m never going to get anything else from upstairs anymore, am I? We only have what we give ourselves now. We’ll have to figure things out by ourselves." 

Crowley hummed.

“We really are on our own, aren't we? Just the two of us.”

"Yeah. Us two, on the same side. Grey wings on both our backs. Could be fun.”

That got a short laugh from Aziraphale, and tension trickled out of him. "If you say so, my dear."

[captlok]

Pacifism Isn’t A Character Trait

Or: MLK Day is Upon Us so Let Me Do You a Learn

Or: As An Aang Stan I Got a Bit Over-Zealous But Lemme Explain Why For A Hot Minute

Plus some History and Tumblr commentary that even non-ATLA fans can chew on

And by ‘hot minute’ I do mean this is going to be a long meta, so strap in.  For those of you who just might be tuning into this debacle, I, a person who has not used Tumblr, much at all, except for the last half year, ran into some trouble. 

If you wanna skip the whole TLDNR interpersonal stuffs and get straight to Why Aang is the Best Thing Since Sliced Bread, I will embolden the relevant parts, and italicize the crit of Korra, if you want that alongside.

I was excited that ATLA was seeing a resurgence due to the Netflix remake. I wasn’t even trying to apply any steep expectations for it. (learned not to do that the hard way with the last live action adaption, and to a much lesser extent, ATLOK, since it had good . . . elements, *ba dum tsshh*) 

So, these are a couple aspects of the issue: (1) Even on the internet, I am extremely introverted and until recently mostly came for content, not socializing. My main online interactions thus far have been in forums and artist-to-artist on DA. Tumblr is still very strange to me because it splits up its ‘threads’ so you can’t see all the replies if a certain pattern of users responds in their own space. I’m not even 100% sure it’s in chronological order, and replies are not nested next to each other so you can look in the comments and someone will be replying to something you can’t see in that window. And also since it is a bizarre hybrid of a blogging system, posts are somehow considered ‘owned by’ or an ‘extension of’ OP in a way forum threads are not. (2) ATLOK was good in a cinematic and musical way, to be sure. It also had some good concepts. I can go into it just appreciating it for the worldbuilding and be somewhat satisfied. But the execution was terrible. I was on AvatarSpirit.Net for years, and If I had maintained my presence on ASN to current day and had gotten around to downloading their archive now that the forum is dead, I would include some links to other peoples’ detailed analyses on just how flawed both the plotting and Korra’s frustratingly flat learning curve was especially in the first two seasons. But, that is a task for another day, and only if people are interested. 

No, what I’m addressing today, on the issue of Korra as a writing exercise, is how Mike and Bryan said specifically they wanted to make her ‘as opposite to Aang as possible’ and in so doing, muddied the central theme of the original ATLA series.

Now, again, I was mainly an art consumer for my first major round of ATLA fandom. Tumblr is an alien beast to me. But, after I write my first major Aang meta, talking about how amazing it is that he has the attitude he does, and how being content in the face of this overwhelming pain and suffering is an ONGOING PROCESS and an INTENTIONAL DECISION and not a simple PERSONALITY TRAIT, I start hearing that Aang gets a lot of hate from the fandom. Now this would be bad enough if it were merely people not liking his crowning moment of pacifism because they don’t understand the potential utility (I’ll elaborate on that in another post) or the ethics involved.

Aang is easily the most adult member of the Gaang. But he apparently gets hate for his few moments where he actually acts his age, a preteen, and maybe kisses a girl in a historical timeframe in which ‘consent’ discussions were probably nonexistent. Even in the present day, we are still practically drowned in movies that reinforce this kissing without asking trope. And even some female bodied people complain that asking kills the mood! But somehow he is responsible and reprehensible for this, even though the first time she kissed him back. I’m only going to get into the pacifism discussion today, but that was just another layer of annoyance bouncing around in the back of my head.  Other peoples’ crit of Korra that was stewing in my subconscious, plus this Aang bashing, which thankfully I had not directly read much of, made up the backdrop of gasoline for the match that set it off.  Even that seems a pretty melodramatic way to phrase what I actually said, which was: Aang, on the other hand, lost dozens of father figures and was being steamrolled by Ozai who was gloating about genocide TO HIS FACE, yet he still reigned in all that quote, ‘unbelievable rage and pain’ (The Southern Raiders). We Stan Aang, the Superior Avatar. No I did not f**king stutter. #AangSupremacy In another meta, someone complained that I was too defensive of Aang as a character and didn’t apply literary analysis enough, which I quickly rectified.

What set this off? Someone was kind of indirectly praising the line from Korra,  “When I get out of here, none of you will survive” To them it was emotionally resonant or whatever, and I have to point out that no, it was a martial artist not having control of their state of mind, as is the bedrock of the practice. It was never addressed by the narrative, which is a severe oversight.  I had a conversation with someone in the chats, making this distinction between Korra’s character traits and life philosophy. If she were to kill people while enraged and she was fine with that, that’s one thing. But if she regretted it, that’s a whole other kettle of fish. People argue that she comes from a warrior culture, unlike Aang.

Never mind that warrior monks are a thing. That’s what Shaolin monks are. You can be a pacifist and skilled at fighting. Those things are not mutually exclusive, which is the whole point of Bagua, Aang’s style.  And also, Katara’s style. 

That’s one reason I like Kataang so much- their congruent styles. Both of their real world martial arts are dedicated to pacifism, even though ATLA specifically doesn’t spell that out for Katara and her learning arc. 

There was a meta where someone briefly tried to argue that knowing “martial arts” is against pacifism. No. Quite the opposite. I’d argue that you are not a true pacifist unless you know exactly how to handle yourself if someone attacks you.  If you are not in a position to make conscious decisions about how much force to use, rather than merely operating on survival instincts, that is not pacifism. Or at least, not any energy or effort towards pacifism as a practical everyday tool.  I’ve made a few attempts to learn some tai chi and aikido, and it’s improved my physical and mental health, but some other things have gotten in the way. #lifegoals

I’m not going to tag the unfortunate soul whom I was replying to, because they’re probably tired of all this, but I’ll be sending them a PM to say that I’ve made this into a different post, because as I mentioned before, threads are somehow considered “owned” by OP, so it’s been pointed out to me that I should separate it.  I also said, I have basically ZERO respect for Korra uttering violent threats when the writers already minted a far more emotionally devastated and yet still resilient and centered character earlier in their franchise. People always try to excuse away people who genuinely like Aang more.  As if it’s just nostalgia or whatever. For me, no, it’s absolutely not. It is respect for a character who stands toe to toe with real people who are kind in the face of overwhelming injustice. (I have another meta on that). 

Both OP and people in the chats try to make excuses that she wasn’t raised as a pacifist, and that would be fine if they had addressed it with Tenzin and she had stated outright that she was rejecting pacifism and mind training. As it is, we are left with this nebulous affair where the lines between ideology and personality traits are blurred. 

We are told she “has trouble with spirituality” but what does that even mean? Does she have trouble with focus? Does she have trouble relating to the canonically real spirits? And pacifism specifically nor inner peace that it flows from is never even talked about as an extension of spirituality, which is canonically tied to airbending.

“Aang didn't have to deal once with the loss of his autonomy in atla” OP claims.

This was after I had noted that Aang was getting kicked around by Ozai and was most likely going to die.  Similarly, someone in the chat rejected the idea that a 12 year old trapped in a stone sphere that is heating up under a cyclone-sized blowtorch feels powerless. 

Sorry but that’s flat out ridiculous.

No one wants to admit that both of these people were faced with similar situations, and when push came to shove, one showed his LIFE PHILOSOPHY through conscious effort, and the other was abandoning the basis of martial arts, which is, no matter what the situation, keep thinking. Hold the panic at bay. Non-attachment would have served her well in this situation. Tenzin should have told her this. Before, or afterwards. It should have been addressed in the writing.  

People see this as “bashing” Korra, and oh well, can’t help that. If I think the writers didn’t follow through on their themes, that is my concern.  OP said I was “offended.” No, not really. 

I wasn’t offended by the post itself, or its commentary. Thought I made that pretty clear.

This is not dramatics. Let me be blunt.

As a ideological pacifist, and an actual practitioner of meditation, based on Buddhism, NOT just the fan of some show, I am for calling out writers who write one way from the survivor of genocide, and then stray from that ‘thoughtless aggression is immoral no matter HOW hurt I am’ to ‘let’s not address this character’s aggression in the narrative whatsoever.’ OP attempted to derail by accusing me of being racist or sexist against Korra. Also ridiculous. It honestly should have set me off more, but it didn’t. 

Meditation is about reigning in your emotions. Managing your anger when it gets out of hand, and digging down to the roots of it. Being responsible for your own behavoir. Acknowledging ownership of your own actions. Not blaming anything YOU DO on anyone else or any circumstances in your life. Like an adult, or should I say, an enlightened adult.

Or at the very least, that is the ideal ypu strive towards while being imperfect in the present.

. . .

Now.

I’m going to quote a passage in a Google Doc of mine, even though I’d really prefer if you asked to read the whole thing, with context.

“What do humans do when it is necessary to, or greed makes a nation want to recruit?

They go to the army to get trained, right?

Granted, having someone scream and get spittle on your face is, in the grand scheme of things, poor preparation for having bullets whiz past your chest and grenades shatter your ears. And, what do you do to prepare you for the pain of getting your leg blown off? Hopefully, nothing. Like taking a test where you only got half the study guide. But, it’s about the most ethical way to go about it, right?

Not everyone even sees action. So any more more extensive mental preparation for physical pain than that, and you’d have people definitely protesting.

Well, as it turns out, pacifistic protestors themselves, if they were in the right time and place, also very intentionally do this type of mind training. Except, when they did it, they actually did sit still and took turns roughly grabbing each other and throwing each other down and in some cases, even kicking and bruising each other.

Turns out, those pacifists are, in some ways, more hardcore than the army.

Why is this?

Because a pacifist’s aim, unlike a unit, who wants to gain the upper hand in a situation, is to grit their teeth and grind their way through all those survival instincts, and totally submit.

In this, they aim to get the sympathy of the public, who clearly sees they are not aggressive, or a danger, no matter how much the footage is manipulated or suppressed.

In this, they hope to appeal to their attacker’s better nature.

Make them stop and think, wait a second, are these people a threat like we’re told they are? I’m attacking someone who’s letting me beat them up. Or a bunch of people. All forming a line, and letting us peel them off. Or sitting, and bowing their heads. If I’m on the ‘right’ side of things, the law, why am I doing this?

It’s not like a bully, who’s just a kid.” They’re more self-aware.

And might I add the situation influences a pacifist’s actions too. There’s no reason to let a single or a few random attackers beat you up if you can evade or disable without permanent damage.

Pacifism is a dynamic set of responsive actions informed by values. Not a proscribed set or a checklist.

But in terms of organizing against state power, and recording wrongdoing, which unlike during the Civil Rights can happen from all angles from smart phones nowadays, these are the motivations.

“So, the pacifist knows this, and that’s why they go through all that trouble of training themselves to, not only submit, but not turn tail and run, either.”

See, a character trait is something like being a morning person, or ways of handing information, or a given set of emotions a character feels. Once you cross over into actions, you must make the distinction of whether an impulsive character agrees with their own uncontrolled actions, or is embarrassed or remorseful. Those are life philosophy. Now sure, one type of person or character may be more likely to subscribe to pacifism, but there is no gatekeeping on what you have to feel or how you look at things. You can be easygoing, or feel all the rage in the world, but as long as you at least attempt to have a handle on those desires and feelings to where they do not cross into actions, you are still doing the work of metacognition, which is what martial arts and its accompanying mind training are for.

It’s what we see Aang do.

He’s informed us, during the Southern Raiders, on how much rage and pain he feels.

Pain points, TRIGGERS, that were directly struck at when Ozai gloated over him.

He joins with all the past Avatars for several moments, and just like every other time he is in the Avatar State, he is enraged. He wants to exact revenge on the unrepentant grandson of a baby murderer.

We see it when he turns his head away, face still screwed up in anger.

For another example, I could cite my difficulties in being aware and reining in my tongue sometimes. I know the roots of these issues and I seek to let them go.

It’s just that process takes way longer than Guru Pathik would have us assume.

In fact, I would even say that Aang’s portrayal throughout the three seasons is not strictly a realistic representation of at least the sad side of grief. I addressed that a little when I talked about real life figures. But what it IS, is a metaphor that cuts very deep to the heart of pacifism. As I showed in that Doc . . . There is no limit of suffering a pacifist is willing to go through, internal or external, for the preservation of peace.

This was demonstrated during the Civil Rights, and with Gandhi and all his followers beforehand, inspiring them. The pacifists’ method of swaying hearts is probably the reason BLM exists in such numbers as it does today. Will the types of narratives that correspond with their full stories of the way they collectively planned and trained for and approached conflict make it into fantasy media? I’d say, probably not. For a host of reasons.

It could be hoped for, I guess.

But we DO have Aang.

As for myself, whether speaking sharply is an “action,” per se is up for debate- certainly it doesn’t seem to violate the non-aggression principle put forth by the vision of a “stateless society.”

For another example, let’s take my explanation at the beginning. I am examining how circumstances affected my actions, and now am attempting to fix it, if indeed it needs to be fixed. 

At least one person said that it not so much what I said, but how and when I said it. I don’t actually think I’ve said anything “wrong” per se. So I have to figure it out. 

[I’m considering splitting up this next part into a second post, as it only slightly relates to pacifism itself and is just kinda some more commentary on Tumblr itself- Tumblr discourse, as it were]

[I’ll put more brackets when I’m done in case you want to skip this part as well]

An interesting social difference between Tumblr and other places is this command you often get, “don’t chat/reblog/message me back.”

This is interesting for several reasons. For chats and reblogs, other people may be following the “conversation,” so it’s actually pretty rude and presumptuous to tell a person not to respond to whatever you said, because other people watching still may be interested in your take.

In a forum setting, if someone involved in a conversation doesn’t have anything left to say, usually they just don’t respond.

This method would work perfectly fine for Tumblr, but for some reason, maybe its super odd format, probably due to the “ownership”/“extension of self” I mentioned at the beginning of the essay, people don’t tend to do this.

Now, in comment sections, sometimes you’ll run across an amusing sort of “mutually assured destruction” where two people both say this to each other. You’d better stop responding. Omg just give up. Why are you still arguing. Etc.

But see, no matter where this behavoir pops up, and no matter who starts in on it, those who do this usually want to have the last say on the matter.

Instead of merely not replying, they want to assert verbal control over the conversation.

Tumblr, in its weirdness, is also sort of like a mutant comments section. You can post comment section threads as your own post.

Which is one reason why I’m puzzled when people say ‘don’t read the comment sections’ when Tumblr is so popular.

I’m an oddball in that I browse comment sections for fun.

Probably due to alexithymia, I didn’t really comprehend the emotional toll it takes on many people, so the warnings to “stay out of comment sections” read to me like “hey don’t eat that dessert.” After I’m done with the ‘meal’ of an article or art, I like to see what lots of different people have to say about it. The fluff. Anything vitriolic I either blip over, or extract anything useful, or if I judge the person is reasonable enough, I might engage.

Sometimes I mis-judge on how reasonable someone is, and I shrug and move on after being cussed out or whatever.

In this, I suppose I succeed much of the time in being a verbal pacifist.

[But let’s get back to the more serious stuff.]

We’re talking about what is done in life or death situations, here.

For myself, I may in the near future be working more with dangerously mentally ill people. I’ve had a little exposure to it through various means. Nurses are obligated not to retaliate against patients, and those who have, have been fired in some situations. Again oddly, this is not primarily what triggers my anxiety. Unfortunately enough, this requirement has also resulted in nurses getting seriously injured and violated. I hope to influence whether “no harm” techniques such as tai chi and aikido and arm locks may be allowed. The voluntary philosophy I was luckily already on board with is enforced by bureauacracy, directly relevant to my potential profession.

Were someone to get involved in a dangerous profession, such as a police officer, their moral duty would also be to own up to any spur of the moment anger or fear they acted on. 

It’s just that their bureaucracy acts differently, in excusing their actions.

Ideally, they would be taking steps far in advance, to avoid this often-cited fear of death reaction. As training pacifists like Aang do. 

And yes, army people are trained differently than police officers because the army, often, even when threatened, is supposed to avoid engagement or deploy deterrents that are non-lethal almost all costs, unless ordered otherwise. Whereas American police are given pretty much complete discretion and often not taught de-escalation techniques. Even police from other nations are better trained in that regard.

Enter the ironically named @avatarfandompolice whose account description should really speak for itself. Combative, dismissive, and their attention-hungry bread and butter is to find people they think it’s acceptable to ridicule.  They basically tried to say trauma was a valid excuse to take out your anger on other people, and in this situation, potentially kill. 

Now, does this hold up in the real world? Yeah, sometimes. Especially if some law breaker or law keeper has not been given the anger management tools, they perhaps could be excused, or better yet, rehabilitated.

But especially if anyone finds themselves in dangerous situations, or intends to put themselves in such, it falls to them to do this preparation.

As an aphant, I am at a bit of a disadvantage, compared to an average martial artist, being unable to visualize an attacker. But I still attempt it.

As the main “police officer” of the world- the coincidentally blue clad figurehead that is supposed to keep order, it is apparently fine for Korra to not do the work Aang did to keep level. To blow it off as too much trouble: clearing the First Chakra of fear. For herself or others. And its resultant anger. Had she had access to the Avatar State, the authority figure pretty much would have killed people.  This is what the “fandom police” and a certain chat goer ultimately support. Maybe they didn’t understand it that way, and since the second had blocked me, they will also never see this explanation. Unless I were to share it in Google Doc form I suppose.

So, I responded. “Remember kids, you are not responsible for your own behavior if you have the excuse that someone else did something bad to you.” A frighteningly common sentiment on this site.

When it’s low stakes like CAPSLOCKING or internet fights, that’s not such a big deal. But what happens if this attitude leaks into the real world? This isn’t even about Korra or Aang anymore, it’s about toxic mindsets. I didn’t know fans taking pro-Korra posts as anti-Aang was a common in the fandom. I’ll say again I’ve only just gotten really active on Tumblr like the past few months. This is about pacifism itself. MLK and his hardworking, training followers (yes some of them sixteen and POC and not super-powered like Korra) facing down firehoses and staging sit-ins long trained for would shake their heads at this defense of reactionism. 

Pacifism is not a Personality Trait.

It is deliberate actions and preparation taken over a period of time.

Then the “fandom police” tried more of this, and these two conversations ensued, the comments with another user resulting in the title and main thesis of this essay:

https://captlok.tumblr.com/post/638777472806273024/avatarfandompolice-response-to-my-independent

https://captlok.tumblr.com/post/638806142933467136/the-plight-was-not-what-i-was-getting-at-it-was

[officialthiamlibrary]

Hi guys, welcome to our new weekly segment: Feature Friday. Once a week, we’ll be hyping up one of your favourite authors and recommending five of their fics, some old and some new, so that you can re-read all of your old favourite stories, or maybe even discover a new favourite! If you have someone you’d love to see in this segment, send us an ask here on Tumblr, or message one of our helpful mods on discord. 

Our featured author of the week is  @Ithinkwehaveanemergency, who has been on the Thiam scene since September 2017. She’s written an incredible 93 fics for the Teen Wolf fandom, 62 of them featuring our favourite chimera and beta. This author has created beautiful AU stories, several post-canon, and has a depth to her stories that reaches deep down and touches your very soul. Poetic in the way that she writes, she’s created wonderful stories that have angst, a little crack, fluff, pining, and smut. If we had more time we’d tell you about every story (especially her Pillars of Colonial Homes series which is an absolute MUST read) but for now we will share our top five!

***

The Boy is Mine [ Teen // 2K // Complete ]

Thanks to Lacrosse Boosters coming up with the ridiculous idea to have a Bachelor Auction to raise money, Liam is up for sale. There's only one person he wants to bid on him, but he's just too stubborn to ask.

Or, listening to old school Brandy and Monica leads to adorable cliche one-shots.

This fic is HILARIOUS! Full of I-told-you-so moments from Mason (and other pack members) and biddings for a date with our favorite co-captain? You’ll laugh, you’ll gush over Theo, and you’ll roll your eyes at Liam. It’s a quick little oneshot that is worthy of lots of love, so go give it to the author!

***

I'd like it if you made it to mine by Christmas Eve, so you can hold me. [ Teen // 7K // Complete ]

Several years after Theo leaves Beacon Hills without saying goodbye, Liam's car breaks down on the way home for the holidays and he ends up sleeping on Theo's couch.

It’s always a great story when you explore the future, especially after years of pining between characters and how the time has changed them. This story is about growth, loss, and finding your other half in the arms of another person. You’re going to love this!

***

Lonely Vagabond [ Teen // 7K // Complete ] 

“Holy shit, dude.” Theo laughed, slowing down to stop at a red light. “You're that guy! From that boyband! Liam… Dunbar! That's it!”

“What gave it away?” Liam snapped, rolling his eyes in the mirror. “The screaming girls? Or are you a diehard fan too?”

“Hey.” Theo scolded, refusing to let the handsome, but seemingly bratty celebrity get to him. “Don't get snappy with me, Liam Dunbar. I just dropped everything to help you.”

“You're literally an uber driver.” Liam rolled his eyes again, his head lolling along with it this time as well.

“An off-duty uber driver.” Theo corrected. “Speaking of which, give me that $100. I don't feel bad taking all of it now that I know you're rich.” 

Or

The one where Liam is a lost musician in the streets of Berkeley, and Theo is the San Francisco uber driver who really needs to explain to Liam how uber works.

Angst. Drama. Quirky one-liners. A famous musician AU? What doesn’t this fic have for its readers? This story makes you laugh and cry and curse Theo and Liam for being such damn fools. But it ends on a hopeful note and you learn that love isn’t a straight line, it’s full of bumps along the way but that’s what makes it so worthwhile.

***

Just a Day, Just an Ordinary Day [ General // 4K // Complete ]

A typical day in the life of Jenna Geyer, where nothing really happens. Just bonding with the newest member of her household and watching her son be an accidental trainwreck.

So, y'know... the usual.

Stories told from Jenna’s perspective are always a fascinating way to watch Liam and Theo’s relationship developing. In this fic, Liam absent-mindedly kisses Theo for the first time, in front of his mother, before immediately leaving the house. You’ll be charmed by the way Liam and Theo both freak out, while Jenna gossips with the pack and analyses their every move. If you enjoy funny and fluffy stories, then this should definitely be placed on your to-read pile immediately!

***

Wherever You Go Today [ Not Rated // 3K // Complete ]

The five times that a McCall Pack member hugs Theo and tells him they love him, and the one time Theo does it to one of them.

 Or, the all but mandatory 5 + 1 fic that nobody asked me to write for the Thiam fandom.

Inspired by listening to my Fleet Foxes Vinyl. I'm sure you can guess which song.

We at OTL definitely love a 5 + 1 story, and we know that all of our lovely followers are the same. What’s lovely about this fic is that it shows the pack and their journey towards accepting Theo as one of their own and showing him the affection that we all know our touched starved Theo craves. As you follow Theo on his path to redemption, you’ll beam at the sweet way he comes to realise his feelings for the beta. A must read for all fans of this pairing.

[ufonaut]

What’s alan’s opinion of the other main earth green lanterns: hal, john, guy, and kyle? I think the consensus is that almost everyone hates guy, and alan didn’t seem to look like he liked hal too much either from the comics you posted earlier. He seems to have a good relationship with kyle maybe? But didn’t kyle date his daughter? And i’ve never seen anything with john and alan lol. So does alan actually like any of the other lanterns?

ANON I LOVE U...I’VE BEEN DYIN TO TALK ABOUT ALAN, AS I AM AT ALL TIMES, SO THANK U FOR THIS.

i’m assuming you know alan’s not in any way, shape or form related to the glc? while he’s definitely ran into the gang over the years out of pure necessity, he doesn’t know them in any particularly notable way and almost definitely wouldn’t consider any of them a friend (though jury’s out on whether he considers anyone currently alive a friend but that’s a whole other subject). essay incoming!

1) hal jordan

i haven’t actually posted any comics today but i’m assuming you’re talking about these panels from dc first: green lantern/green lantern (2002) #1?

i think this is actually my all time favourite and maybe definitive take on alan’s relationship with hal! it’s actually, as far as i’ve been able to find, the literal only comic to analyse & understand vital pieces of alan’s history that would tint any interactions with the glc -- he was forced out of heroics by huac and can’t help a vague feeling of jealousy about the fact that hal’s so instantly well-liked, not to mention his explicit worries that he’s no longer “the right man for the job”. beyond that, i think it’s also important to note that early days hal is the literal picture perfect definition of a hero! as much as his fly-boy-ness can be grating to people like, say, bruce or alan, he’s very likeable and the perfect candidate for the necessary PR of heroism. alan is... not. even on his best days, his temper either gets the best of him or he comes across as tremendously cold & distant. his dislike of hal is very tied up in these feeling of inadequacy

that being said, after parallax happens, alan is one of the very few people in hal’s corner. not in a major way and god forbid alan ever thinks to comfort anyone but i think as a man who’s lost it weekly for the past eighty years and who understands what their kind of power might make one capable of, he’s faintly sympathetic. in jsa’s (1999) redemption lost arc (#60-#62), he tries to be there for hal in some capacity

and even asks bruce to give hal another chance (no luck there)

while in jsa (1999) #77 he attempts some previously undiscovered form of trying to relate to someone via pointing out that hal’s life might be falling apart but you know what his real problem is? that alan was never there for his kids.

so, i would say alan dislikes hal far less than he dislikes guy & kyle and that’s a major compliment coming from him. their relationship is hard to navigate on either side and i don’t think alan would ever stop feeling that bitterness & jealousy. however, one thing that sets him aside from every other person to interact with hal immediately after parallax & spectre is that alan didn’t trust him to begin with so there’s no inherent loss there but he’s not afraid to reach out either because he understands some small part of hal’s tragedy better than most

2) guy gardner

alan definitely hates guy in the way every person in the universe does (as they should) but he was also at guy’s bar opening night and twice after because he loves subjecting himself to medieval-tier torture but i think their relationship is actually perfectly balanced because it’s all mutual hatred. their most memorable interactions are probably during the emerald fallout issues of gg:w (#19-#21) and they’re frankly delightful

and guy’s got some good nicknames for alan

(”mr green lantern who was never really a green lantern”)

(”blondie”)

and there’s not much depth there beyond the world’s most reluctant allies! gg:w #31 actually has a wonderful alan story where he gets trapped in a living nightmare and the characterisation is just perfect but there’s no actual interaction with guy, which, yknow, makes it even better. i’d say alan tries to keep his distance if he can in order to save himself the annoyance, especially as i doubt guy’s one of the people who’d be particularly cool with certain things about alan that have recently become canon. take the fact that warriors has never experienced a green fiery inferno as a good sign!

3) john stewart

you’re definitely right on this front, there’s not a lot of john & alan out there! i do, however, have a personal favourite moment between the two from the green lantern 80 page giant (1998) #1:

while i don’t agree with the whole ‘old gls meet up and swap stories’ business and i personally think ron marz’s alan characterisation has always been genuinely atrocious because he never once understands that alan is not a member of the glc, i love how at ease alan is around john here. though there’s very few comics with the two of them, i feel like john’s the one green lantern alan actually respects and likes him well enough, even if not in a way where they’d willing spend time together or anything

4) kyle rayner

alan does NOT. i repeat does NOT. have a good relationship with kyle! the greatest thing about every alan & kyle interaction is alan’s tightly reined in need to murder him and his obligation to play nice for jennie’s sake. as i hope we all know, kyle’s an absolute creep and one of my favourite moments comes from one of those periods when he & jennie were broken up

and alan proceeds to break into kyle’s apartment at 5:30 am

and ignores all attempts at conversation just to start gathering jennie’s things. it’s a dream (gl 1990 #120). i think, especially because of the jennie thing, alan hates kyle more than he hates. most things

HOPE THIS ANSWERED UR QUESTION AND IT’S WHAT U WERE LOOKING FOR!! LET ME KNOW UR THOUGHTS!!!

[everything-laito]

I know I said it was DL’s anniversary back in October; which it is, for the games, and for the big fifth year anniversary that’s the day and year they counted it LOL

So today’s officially DL’s 9th anniversary, aka when Ayato’s Do-S CD got released.

Ima be sappy here though and say that although I could enjoy this series by myself and not get involved with the fanbase (cuz a lot of fan bases can ruin it for fans which is why I usually stay far away from fandoms), I’m glad I came back this year to get involved with the fandom of DL. I was a ~lurker~ back in the day, so I knew of the toxicity and such; and I left for three years because of it. But I’m glad it’s gotten a lot better.

I never expected my analyses to be read as much as they are, or the support and following I’ve gotten. A mutual of mine and I were talking yesterday and they said that they found a Laito analysis really similar to mine and how mine are set up, and use of similar catch phrases etc.

I’m not bothered by it at all; it was most likely made by someone younger than I am, and I’m so happy for them! It’s a great way to practice reading comprehension and work your mind! Analyses are subjective writing reflections, and although there are ones more agreed on than others, it’s still subjective until something is deemed canon. So go off! If you wanna write your analyses, do them! If you want to share them with me, please don’t be afraid to tag me in them! If you wanna respond directly to one of my analyses, reblog and pop off! Idc! I wanna read other people’s perspectives!!! I find it really cool!!! If it’s not directly plagiarizing or harmful to others, then write your damn heart out! I didn’t invent analyses!

That being said, I should really make that post about analysis tips and tricks with some terminology I’ve learned in school etc. Ik I said that a while ago but I haven’t got the chance to oops!

Y’all know I write a lot, and basically what I’m trying to say is thank you so much for all the support you have given me. It truly means so much to me. This lil side passion project of mine bloomed into something I never expected. I’ve made a handful of great mutuals and friends, and even joined Zarania’s amazing discord server. I know it’s Dialover’s anniversary and not my own blog’s, but without DL I wouldn’t have had this wonderful experience :’) so thank you DL, but again, thank you guys!!! And thanks for letting me be sappy LOL!

EDIT: it’s DL’s anniversary in Japan rn LOL it’s technically the 21st and it’s the 21st there but shhHhhhhhHHHHHH

[hijitae]

This was an ask I received on my main blog from a few years ago. I never got around to answering it at the time since I had gone on indefinite hiatus. I thought I would answer it here, now that a side blog exists for HijiTae purposes. The original Anon may not frequent Tumblr anymore, but here is a reply. My apologies for such a long delay. HijiTae was/is the only ship I discuss publicly on my main blog (due to its rare pair status), so it was okay to ask at that time.

Your message was a delight to receive. I’m always happy to hear from and learn that people started to consider Hijikata x Tae as a possibility because of my analyses, meta posts, and general rambling about them. 2021 marks my 14th year of shipping HijiTae, so I’ve seen a lot and done as much promotion for them as I could (hence this “retirement” blog), and I gained new friends as a result.

Now, onto the rest of your message:

In the old days of shipping, people were much more open-minded about multi-shipping and understood that just because you shipped one ship didn’t mean you were closed off to another. Today, not so much, I find - people’s feathers get easily ruffled at anyone who dares to ship against majority or consider different and new possibilities. For a series that promotes diversity and kindness, large parts of its fandom certainly engage a lot in rigorous gatekeeping against those who possess different viewpoints. It’s why I stayed away from fandom at large for more than a decade.

I think there is some distinction to make between viewing Hijikata as a “loner” vs “lonely.” I can get on board with Hijikata being a loner for the rest of his life in the romance department. It certainly fits the whole tragic romance trope with the survivor deciding not to love again; that they would only ever love that one person. For me, that works on some characters (across other series), but for Hijikata - well, I started shipping him with Tae from episode 18′s filler material and the Yagyuu arc’s canon moments. I shipped HijiTae before the Mitsuba Arc even aired, so I was already on board with them before I had been introduced to Mitsuba. I can just as easily see Hijikata by himself as I can see him with Tae for the remainder of his life. That’s the beauty of being free to imagine all kinds of possibilities.

I’m not going to speak too much of HijiMitsu here (especially since it would be a very unpopular opinion), but I didn’t really take to that ship - not because I was already shipping HijiTae but rather those kinds of ships aren’t as interesting to me as others. Usually in ships where one partner dies or is deceased already, people mourn over how they should’ve been together or say no one else can be with the surviving partner. Constantly lamenting over the tragedy of it all is just not for me. Also, the Stern Samurai x Yamato Nadeshiko type is a conventional ship that has been done many times over. It’s just not appealing to me within the context of Gintama. (Apologies to HijiMitsu fans, but hey, it’s a free fandom life, we all like and think differently.)

Mitsuba is a good soul, who should have received more spotlight, but Sorachi chose to use her only for Okita and Hijikata’s development as characters, and then the story never mentions her again except through a couple of subtle nods. I’ve nothing against her, and I don’t have a problem with people who ship HijiMitsu. That’s their preference. It only becomes a problem when people start drifting out of their lane to come into mine and tell me how I shouldn’t have my own preference but theirs only.

Anyway, this leads me to the “lonely” aspect and why I ship HijiTae. Hijikata is one of my most favourite characters, and I’d rather not envision him as feeling sad and lonely for the rest of his life. While Sorachi doesn’t delve into it, I like to think that Hijikata has come to terms with Mitsuba’s passing, his lack of action and communication, and general regrets over how he handled that situation. He’s a different person now, able to make better choices that won’t end with him regretting that he didn’t say or do enough. Mitsuba is so kind that I’m sure she already forgave him - back then and before the end. She’d want him to live on happily, regardless of what form that happiness takes. In the long run, I believe Hijikata would be able to let go of that regret, forgive himself in the process, and face the future more optimistically.

That’s where the shipping aspect comes in - Hijikata unexpectedly finding his second love in Tae (for many reasons I’ve outlined in past posts). Falling in love again is not a bad thing and it doesn’t mean one forgets or cares less for their first love. Sometimes the unexpected happens in life. Like I said, I can picture Hijikata living out the rest of his days alone and content with it AND I can also picture Hijikata sharing his life with Tae, likewise content at being granted a second chance at love (also, Togoro!). This is why HijiTae is a ship that challenges status quo; it promotes growth, moving forward, and letting your heart - after all the pain it has been through - love again. And I love that kind of ship best.

This post has been focused mostly on Hijikata because of the second half of your message, but there will be a series of posts on this blog regarding Tae and her half of this ship in which I address counterarguments and misconceptions for both.

Thank you once more for your message, although you probably might not see this reply! Again, sorry about that.