#i will never get enough of them taking control of their own narratives and not backing down from what happened

[dayas]

Give me all the Harry and Meghan docs, films, books, interviews, podcasts, etc!!!!!

[a-very-tired-jew]

Finally got an anti-Zionist definition of Zionism

An Israeli was brave enough to pop into the Dropout Discord’s Palestine channel today (May 5th, 2024) and ask what definition of Zionism they were using. While most people all had the same base of “Jews having their own state in their homeland” every single one of them goes off the rails with their own respective definition and conspiracy.

The first person said this:

Fig. 1. First person responding to the Israeli gives their definition of Zionism.

Notice that they say Zionism is the idea that Israel is uniquely and solely the rightful homeland of the Jews. This implies that there’s a malicious intent in Zionism towards non-Jews within Israel. This person has likely never heard of Kahanism, but in their mind Zionism and Kahanism are likely the same.

Here’s the second person to respond:

Fig. 2. Second response uses refers to anti-Zionist. Jews and their supposed definition.

Now, I know a bunch of anti-Zionist Jewish groups and people and I have never heard this particular definition. I’ve only heard this from extreme antisemites who hide behind the guise of being anti-Zionist progressives and actual terrorist groups trying to create a false antisemitic conspiracy narrative. However, this is my own personal experience and this could be the case, as the user says this is what is said in their circles. And if it’s true then it’s a conspiracy driven alt reality version of things as it denies all evidence to the contrary. There are whole levels to this that ignore the non-Jewish Israelis, the rights that they have in Israel, their representation in the government, and so on.

and the third person to respond is someone I’ve talked about before. This is the Jew who claims they were indoctrinated and all their elders are brainwashed and just need to “open their eyes to the truth.”

Fig. 3. Third response from a user who expands on Fig. 1. User’s definition and adds their own conspiracy.

I want to point out that this token Jew who believes others are indoctrinated actively believes the Israeli is making it so only Jews can be citizens. This is not any policy I can find, nor is it something I’ve seen even talked about outside of the most extremist elements. I think they’re referencing the 2018 stuff about Jews having the right to self determination, setting Hebrew as the National language, and government endorsement of settlers. But that’s far from the Israeli government and Zionism stating that Israel is for Jews and only Jews, and active programs to remove non-Jews. It’s something that, once again, would only come from antisemitic groups who want to generate strife through a particular narrative.

These are the definitions that they’re working with and/or believe. It’s no wonder you can’t actually talk to these activists because these definitions are laced with rhetoric from terrorist groups and antisemites. There’s traces of Jewish supremacy, world control, and other tropes throughout, and what’s sad is that a self confessed Jewish person believes it. Not only do they believe it, they’ve been extremely vocal in the server about it. They have so much to unpack that I can’t imagine what brought them to this level of conspiratorial thinking regarding Jews and Zionism.

It takes a lot of work to get people to see their conspiracy theories for what they are and that they’ve been misled. It’s easier to fall into them than to crawl out of that hole and realize you’ve been radicalized. That takes time, self reflection, and often a big “oh shit” moment, which may or may never happen.

At this point I’m just documenting how radicalized the people in the Dropout TV Discord are and how many of them believe in antisemitic conspiracies and downright falsities. Maybe they’ll do something about it one day, but I doubt it.

[mysticheathenn]

What Are The Lies You Tell Yourself?

Hi, Hexlings!

This pick-a-card reading is about the many things you tell yourself to keep yourself small, stay in toxic relationships, make yourself feel bad, etc. Maybe even words of kindness to help dispel those lies.

This is a general reading, remember to take what resonates and leave what does not. This reading does not supplement your need to seek professional help. Tarot should be used as entertainment and not a for sure answer to your problems but as a guide, a sense of hope, and amusement.

Take your time when choosing your pile. Ask yourself the question and choose the picture that you can’t stop looking at. Listen to your intuition.

MasterList

Patreon Link

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Next Reading: Patreon (unless spirit says otherwise)

Pile l:

What are the lies you tell yourself? Tarot: 4 Swords (reversed), 2 of Swords, Awakening, 9 of Wands, 7 of Swords (reversed)

Pile l you have two different messages so I will start off with the first message of those who like to self-sabotage their lives. You like to feed yourself the narrative that you are too busy and everything is hard because you are afraid of failure. You are afraid of the things that can come from actually doing the many things that you say you want and will do. This might be success, failure, or fear of losing those around you because you aren't sure if leveling up will cause a rift or if people will start asking for money but either way, you refuse to look at yourself with complete honesty and accountability when it comes to achieving your goals because you are always feeding yourself lies as to why you can't do them out of fear of the unknown and it's time you stop lying to yourself. This doesn't even have to be a fear of failure or success, etc this could just be you feeding into your imposter syndrome or for some of you feeding into your Lana Del Rey era where you fear if you aren't sad, stressed, or anxious you won't be loved, be a funny person anymore, whatever the reasoning is. You have to give yourself a chance to fly or else you will never know what you are truly capable of or even know if you can really fly.

The 2nd message is for those who identify with hyper-independence. You refuse to acknowledge the fact that the reason you do everything yourself is because you fear having the few people around you let you down like others have. So you continue to feed this narrative of "I like to do things myself." "I'm the only one who can do things right around here." While some of it may be true...you really deep down fear people letting you down again. You are prolonging the inevitable of letting people show you who they really are. Let others around you help you so you can have a break now and then, stop always trying to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders. If someone messes up or doesn't come through...so be it. You can't control everything in your life...you are going to have to release some of that control and go with the flow and allow things to come and go no matter how lonely or horrible the feeling may feel. Better will come when you stop trying to control everything.

Extra Messages: Tea Trea Oracle Deck: June, Slowly but surely getting ahead, dissatisfaction with life, An exciting life, waiting for news/ package/ or letter, Do not back down from the opposition show strength and fortitude, solid foundation success with effort, feeling tied down or frustrated.

Pile ll:

What are the lies you tell yourself? Tarot: 7 of Cups, The Star, Page of Cups, 8 of Swords, Queen of Pentacles.

Similar to how pile l has two messages so does this pile. The first message I would like to ask is who hurt you? Who hurt you enough to where it made you believe that you can't be loved, shouldn't be loved, nor seek love. You continuously keep yourself in a small corner...my own little corner from the Cinderella movie featuring Brandi is playing in my head (Link to Song). Long story short you feel small when you are around others like you have to change who you are in order to be and feel loved but when you are alone you are exactly who you want to be if not exactly who you want to be at least you have an idea or a sense that who you are currently is not who you want to be and it's sad love. I want to hug you and let you know that you should be around others who see you, for you. You are not hard to love and you deserve the best and purest love there is. Stop feeding into the narrative of others as your own, because it's not.

The second message is similar to the first message and a little bit of the first message of pile l. You like to tell yourself reasons why you don't deserve nice things or feed into the mindset that you will never amount to financial abundance. I feel some of this mindset has to deal with childhood/adolescent trauma others of you this may have developed because you kept feeling like every time you got a leg up life would knock you down a peg as to tell you, you aren't meant to have good things when in reality life was trying to redirect you or point you in a direction of something better. You were meant to shine and have many options of abundance in your life. This message is for a few of you but this also has to deal with your looks. You possibly feel that your looks are not up to par and that everyone you meet is always better looking than you. You may also have a fear that if you ever did decide to date that the person you are with would leave you for someone better looking or "better" in general.

Extra Messages: Tea Trea Oracle Deck: A path with money is waiting for you to find it, Getting together with friends, Take care or there will be a loss of material wealth, Opportunity of windfall, Stepping into a new experience, Work/success/achievement, Affairs with your family.

Pile lll:

What are the lies you tell yourself? Tarot: 5 of Wands, Justice, 6 of Cups, 10 of Wands

This doesn't feel like a lie per se that you tell yourself like the other piles but more so of the delusion you feed yourself. This feels more of a victim mentality mixed in with entitlement and before you say nope not me....*David Beckham's voice* Be Honest. How do you feel when you aren't getting your way or dealing with small inconveniences. Be Honest. If the answer is you complain about life not being fair and you go into victim mentality mode that everything always happens to you and not for you or you just feel for whatever delusional reason that life must always cater to you without any kind of effort is....quite bold...I will applaud you for that love. You have the confidence of a mediocre white man, haha. I love to see it. This per se again isn't all that bad but it kind of is as it stems from your childhood of you parents always handing you gold stars for just existing or putting in "at least they did it" energy. You like to believe that you are doing hard work or you are doing a lot when really you self-sabotage or you do one little thing and expect life or others to bend towards your will because you "tried". This message doesn't even feel like a message to help guide you but more so to act as a mirror because it has been a while since you have been completely honest with yourself and your behavior. Some of you might be sick of yourselves and need this while others of you don't smell your own shit.

Extra Messages: None. You don't really need extra messages as your reading was all the message that you needed for a shift and clarity on how things are. Stop lying to yourself. Look in the mirror and ask if you really love what you see? If you really love the kind of person you are? If you really love how you move in your life towards things you want.

Pile lV:

What are the lies you tell yourself? Tarot: The Tower, The Empress, The Sun, Queen of Cups

Three major arcana cards and one minor arcana say a lot about you, pile lV. At first because of the type of reading this is I thought maybe you might be afraid or lying to yourself about becoming successful or experiencing happiness but as I drew clarifiers for your pile it started to come together that you are not being authentic to who you are in your feminine energy. What I mean is that you are people-pleasing way too much to the point where when you want to say no, you say yes instead. This pile gives me the vibes that when a guy approaches you, you are on your "best lady-like behavior when politely declining the guy." Even when he keeps persisting and etc you refuse to act out of character and say listen my guy back the fuck up and fuck off. Take a hint. You can be in your feminine energy and still maintain boundaries, and say what you want to say without coming off as "hard, rough around the edges, etc. There was a YouTube short the other day that was from the Clock app where someone was making fun while also having a point when it comes to people pleasers. "Oh, you're such a people pleaser...how many people have you pleased?" So many people have stitched it not being able to answer this question because who have you pleased? Do you consider yourself a dog pleasing its owner for treats, shelter, and so forth. For some of you, this all stems from childhood because maybe you grew up in a transactional household where your parents or family didn't do anything for you without expecting something in return, or even romantic and friendships have done this. It's okay to say no from time to time. It's okay to not be this prime and prissy-like persona. Again you can be loving and kind while still painting boundaries and saying no to things you don't want to do.

Extra Messages: None like pile lll, you don't really need any extra messages as your message has everything that you need to hear.

Thank you for liking and reblogging my readings. I always appreciate you guys on here and on Patreon.

Stay safe and be blessed

Next Reading: Patreon (Unless spirit says otherwise)

[humdinky]

i just finished watching scavenger's reign yesterday, and let me tell y'all this is genuinely the best piece of sci-fi media i have seen in a long while, and it's insane how little i've seen this show being discussed online! it is probably the most unique and viscerally stunning series i’ve ever seen. the world that they have created is equal parts fascinating and terrifying, and every part of it feels fully realized. sci-fi is at its best when it lets go of nostalgia and explores the unknown, and SR gives me hope that real sci-fi can take root again, and be something beyond what came before it.

i will refrain from giving too much away in my discussion because this show works best the less you know going into it. the premise for this show is simple: crewmembers of a crashed freighter ship are left scattered across an alien planet. a good chunk of time has already passed by the time the show begins, and a few of the survivors have already established camps. however, things quickly spiral out of control as disaster wipes away their progress and forces each of them to move on. it's a harsh and unforgiving world that tests them each and every step of the way on their journey.

worldbuilding is where this show truly shines. it is no easy thing to design an entire ecosystem from scratch. it takes an insane amount of creativity and attention to detail to pull off what this show has. and my god did they fucking pull it off. living balloons floating through the air, large sea creatures that suck up their eggs when faced with danger, tendrilled plants that spawn clones of their prey to track them down - it is a frightening, surreal, and violent world, but harmonious in its own way. some creatures poison you, others clean off the poison. there are your typical type of predators that come at you with sharp fangs and giant pincers, but then there are predators that hunt via more insidious means: manipulating the memories of their prey to have them do their bidding, or hijacking their bodies from the inside. ultimately, the characters who fare best in this world are those who learn to adapt to it, and even sync with it.

SR also boasts a surprisingly well-crafted narrative. we are shown just enough of the world to keep us hooked, but it still feels like there is a lot left to be discovered. i also really enjoy the way the story is delivered to us. we follow the journeys of a few isolated groups whose paths gradually intersect. the characters are all fleshed out and three-dimensional - they were different enough to be unique and quirky, but never too different that it felt overboard. the way they react is exactly how humans in those circumstances would and should, the dialogue and voice acting were just superb. it felt so insanely real at times.

i really do hope that this show gets greenlit for a second season. this type of pure creative freedom is what we need right now. all in all, scavenger's reign is a gorgeous nightmare that you need to experience for yourself.

[artbyblastweave]

So I recently had the thought that Superman as depicted in the DCAU canon probably has the best-articulated-by-the-narrative and most-consistent character flaws of any Superman I’ve seen, in a way that’s enabled by the long-formedness and consistent creative vision of the series.

He’s got an Atlas complex that grinds the gears of his equally-durable, equally-capable colleagues in the Justice League. He has deep-seated fears of moving the wrong way and breaking something or someone, which is then upstream of some moderate control issues. He’s got anger problems, although it’s rare for someone to push him far enough that this takes center stage; you see this with Prof. Hamilton in the series finale of STAS, but also in a number of fights against opponents strong enough that he starts getting frustrated. When the stakes are lower, he can be cocky bordering on genuinely vindictive; there are lots of examples of him rubbing his opponents' noses in it when he finally gets them on the back foot, and it’s shown in flashbacks that he was genuinely kind of a dick when he was a teenager and hadn’t completely sorted out what proportional responses looked like. He doesn’t always think through the implications of his grand projects, be that the implicit threat-escalation posed by the expanded JLU, or the massive disarmament project he spearheaded that turned out to be part of an alien invasion scheme. There are probably more of these that I’m forgetting. The final roundup here is that he’s a good guy. He’s far and away from a perfect guy, with perfect judgement. All of this amounts to something that’s more coherent and specific than the contradictory, subject-to-eternal-revision mess you could assemble from his 60-something year publication history in the comics, but nonetheless with a substantial-enough runtime that all of these traits can be put on display again and again.

In turn, this allowed the collective DCAU continuity to get away with at least three “what if Superman went rogue” plots- four if you count the mind-control situation in Legacy- specifically because they did the legwork to establish the concrete neuroses and psychological vulnerabilities that might cause this specific version of Superman to go rogue. It was never completely insane that Luthor might figure out the exact set of words, actions, and personal losses necessary to coax this depiction of Superman into an authoritarian partnership for the supposed greater good. It’s not completely insane that this depiction of Superman, if pushed far enough, might lose faith in the collective judgement of humanity and decide to put the world and all his loved ones in a bottle. And when the Cadmus plot rolls around in JLU, it’s as effective as it is because they’ve already advanced two roads-not-taken, established what levers you need to pull to make this specific version of this guy cross the line, and that Cadmus and Luthor are pulling all of them. 

I emphasize the specificity here, because the flipside of this are Superman-gone-rogue narratives that jump right to that as the cornerstone of the continuity, with no real opportunities for juxtaposition. A major issue I eventually developed with the Injustice franchise is that despite its pretenses of being an alternate universe, there’s no established continuity that it’s deviating from, bar its own. To some extent I feel as though it’s banking on the audience transposing their gestalt-understanding of Superman and the broader DCU- hell, their understanding of the Justice Lords arc in particular- in order to elide that they’re playing extremely fast-and-loose with the specifics of what has and hasn’t happened to Superman in this continuity. The DCEU is a runner-up- jumping right to the Damocles-sword of a bad-future after two movies is jumping the gun, in the same way everything about the 2010s DCEU was jumping the gun. I think you could plausibly attack TDKR’s portrayal of Superman under this logic, although I personally wouldn’t- but that’s its own post.

Point being that you can’t sell me the upset of a paradigm if you never established it-you need to set up the pins before you can bowl worth a damn.

[demodraws0606]

I'm kinda peeved off that I'm seeing a few people that have the critique that Siffrin didn't deserve their "happy ending" in the end, that he was forgiven too quickly. I'm bad about this for actually a number of reasons.

(Warning this will be long because I am irrationally passionate about this, totally not because I relate to Siffrin or anything ahahahahaha)

First, logically, Siffrin's actions definitely are not as awful as people make it out to be especially not in the context of a time loop story. The worst Siffrin has done was his actions in the Bad Touch achievement and the last loop, one being purely optional. Outside of that, any tampering Siffrin had done was purely harmless, sure it's existentially horrifying but it's not like he did any actual manipulation.

You could also argue since Siffrin was in control of the loop, they are responsible for everything that was happening but we know full well he wasn't in control literally, his emotions were in control of the loop. Considering, a whole thing in this story is how acting as though you're fine and trying to control your emotions don't work, I don't think we can make the argument Siffrin was really in control.

He only wanted to trap everyone in the timeloop when it already had destroyed his mind. I thought it was obvious it was a monkey's paws situation.

The last time loop was the breaking point of Siffrin and it's one of the things he does suffer consequences from, they do get mad at him and he does apologize. What else do you want him to do ?

The Bad Touch achievement is the only thing that could be said to be "unforgivable" but it's optional and as far as I know it's hinted that Siffrin would talk about it with Isabeau. In fact it's said that even though right now they're fine and okay, they literally say they are okay to be mad at Siffrin later.

And also, it's not taking into acount the Actual feelings of his family either. They can't remember the loops and they have their own reason to not still be mad with him, so why should they hold Siffrin accountable for feelings they don't have.

In fact, the storyline strikes the perfect balance to not have Siffrin do such horrible action that he'd actually be unforgivable but still have him do enough that it shows what the loops are doing to him but....

..it's not just logically, judging Siffrin's actions as bad/good things like that is not just what's wrong with the narrative that Siffrin should've suffered more consequences. It also goes against the narrative itself.

For me at least, ISAT is a game about mental illness but also recovery. It's not coincidental a lot of people project their own mental issues onto Siffrin, it's not just a "ahahaha they're so relatable !!", it's a genuine part of the story.

I could make an entire essay about it but that's not the point, what would a story about these themes be if the ending was just "you need to repent for the things you did during your own mental breakdown"

It may seem ridiculous after all this that they'd just forgive Siffrin after all of this, but really hasn't most of the points against Siffrin's morality been coming from Siffrin themselves.

Siffrin believed he deserved to be rejected, that he deserved the suffer, that he was disgusting. It was these belief that kept him from talking about the loop because for him, everything was his fault. Not just because he created the loop but because the desire of staying with them was the very sin he hated himself for since the beginning.

So for all that self hatred to be met with, strange acceptance. It almost seems ridiculous, and Siffrin's talk with Odile in the epilogue reinforces how almost comedic it is.

It's close to reality, isn't it ? How many times have you thought you did something completely unforgivable to someone you cared about and you were waiting for them to be furious at you, but that moment never came.

Because they just simply weren't hurt enough by what happened. And sure it was definitely a bad thing you did and they were maybe mad in the moment, but you apologized. Sure there could be more consequences for what you did but what's the point in asking for them to be more mad at you ?

Shouldn't you strive to be better than beg to be hurt for your actions ?

Do you think being hurt, being yelled at would make anything better other than just feed the voice in your head what it wants to hear ?

Weird flowery talk aside, it just doesn't fit the themes and the narrative of the story is what I'm saying. Asking for more punishement for Siffrin goes against what the story is about.

It's just like complaining that the looping mechanics are too frustrating, that's part of the package deal bb !!

Fuck the idea of "repenting by suffering through the consequences" !!! Having to deal with "blinding unrelenting forgiveness and kindness" is in !!!!

[galacticlamps]

ok I have A Lot of thoughts about the staircase confession (well really about Edwin's whole character arc, but all roads lead to rome) but for now I just wanna say that, yes, I was bracing myself for something to go terribly wrong when I first watched it, and yes, part of me was initially worried its placement might be an uncharacteristically foolish choice made in the name of Drama or Pacing or Making a Compelling Episode of Television but at the expense of narrative sense--

But I wanna say that having taken all that into account, and watched it play out, and sat with it - and honestly become rather transfixed by it - I really think it's a beautifully crafted moment and truly the only way that arc could've arrived at such a satisfying conclusion.

And if I had to pinpoint why I not only buy it but also have come to really treasure it, I'd have to put it down to the fact that it genuinely is a confession, and nothing else.

That moment is an announcement of what Edwin has come to understand about himself, but because it takes the form of a character admitting romantic feelings for such a close friend, I think it can be very easy, when writing that kind of thing, to imbue it with other elements like a plea or a request or even the start of a new relationship that, intentionally or not, would change the shape of the moment and can quickly overshadow what a huge deal the telling is all on its own. But that's not the case here. Since it is only a confession, unaccompanied by anything else, and since we see afterward how it was enough, evidently, to fix the strangeness that had grown between him & Charles, we're forced to understand that it was never Edwin's feelings that were actually making things difficult for him - it was not being able to tell Charles about them. 'Terrified' as he's been of this, Edwin learns that his feelings don't need to either disappear completely or be totally reciprocated in order for him to be able to return to the peace, stability, and security of the relationship with which he defines his existence - and the scale of that relief a) tells us a hell of a lot about Edwin as a character and b) totally justifies the way his declaration just bursts out of him at what would otherwise be such a poorly chosen moment, in my opinion.

Whether or not they are or ever could be reciprocated, Edwin's feelings are definitively proven not to be the problem here - only his potential choice to bottle it up - his repression - is. And where that repression had once been mainly involuntary, a product of what he'd been through, now that he's got this new awareness of himself, if he still fails to admit what he's found either to himself or to the one person he's so unambiguously close with, then that repression will be by his own choice and actions.

And he won't do that. Among other things, he's coming into this scene having just (unknowingly) absolved the soul of his own school bully and accidental killer by pointing out a fact that is every bit as central to his self-discovery as anything about his sexuality or his attraction to Charles is: the idea that "If you punish yourself, everywhere becomes Hell"

So narratively speaking, of course it makes sense that Edwin literally cannot get out of Hell until he stops punishing himself - and right now, the thing that's torturing him is something he has control over. It's not who he is or what he feels, but what he chooses to do with those feelings that's hurting him, and he's even already made the conscious choice to tell Charles about them, he was just interrupted. But now that they're back together and he's literally in the middle of an attempt to escape Hell, there is absolutely no way he can so much as stop for breath without telling Charles the truth. Even the stopping for breath is so loaded - because they're ghosts, they don't need to breathe, but also they're in Hell, so the one thing they can feel is pain, however nonsensical. And Edwin certainly is in pain. But whether he knows what he's about to do or not when he says he 'just needs a tick,' a breather is absolutely not what's gonna give him enough relief to keep climbing - it's fixing that other hurt, though, that will.

Like everything else in that scene, there's a lot of layers to him promising Charles "You don't have to feel the same way, I just needed you to know" - but I don't think that means it isn't also true on a surface level. It's the act of telling Charles that matters so much more than whatever follows it, and while that might have gone unnoticed if anything else major had happened in the same conversation, now we're forced to acknowledge its staggering and singular importance for what it is. The moment is well-earned and properly built up to, but until we see it happen in all its wonderful simplicity, and we see the aftermath (or lack thereof, even), we couldn't properly anticipate how much of a weight off Edwin's shoulders merely getting to share the truth with Charles was going to be, why he couldn't wait for a better, safer opportunity before giving in to that desire, or how badly he needed to say it and nothing else - and I really, really love the weight that act of just being honest, seen, and known is given in their story/relationship.

[fuckitwebhaal]

the dark urge

please do not come for me these are just my takes and opinions on the durge route, as someone who has run it through a few times and is pretty familiar with the lore in regards to the previous games. also massive spoilers below. like if you do not want any dark urge spoilers stop reading now.

The Dark Urge (henceforth referred to as DU), whether approached narratively as resisting or as succumbing, is more of a solidly fleshed out origin for a customizable player character compared to Tav. The reason for this is because the DU follows the precedent set by the previous Baldur's Gate games where the main player character is a Bhaalspawn. (If I recall correctly, that was also the intention for BG3, but it was scrapped and the origins split to allow for a fully customizable option).

I'm not going to get into the history of the Bhaalspawn, save to say this much: The protagonist of BG1 & 2, Gorion's Ward, is referenced on rare occasion throughout a DU playthrough and is implied to be dead. (Though they are never named as Abdel Adrian from the TTRPG canon, it is implied that it seems to be following a blend of canon from BG2 and the TTRPG canon). Bhaal, who had split his divine essence into his many children, relied on their deaths and a ritual so that he could return--in a physical sense--to the planes and reclaim his godhood as the Lord of Murder.

You, BG3 DU protag, are crafted purely from Bhaal's divine essence. This was confusing to me at first, because I had believed Bhaal incapable of having any more mortal children (due to not having a physical presence), but it is implied that Bhaal's spiritual and divine essence is strong enough to form you from himself, he is merely lacking the ritual that would return him to physicality. Which is where you come in. And, Orin, I guess.

Because you were crafted from Bhaal, it is implied that any cultural or genetic claim (such as half-elf, dragonborn, or whatever race you choose) is but Bhaal's mimicry of what those stereotypes should be. You're a killer, a Bhaalyn through and through, and you'll be the one to slay the world and slit your own throat on the carcasses left behind to bring about Bhaal's return. The only thing is, you got cocky. Confident. Comfortable. Careless. You got comfortable in your alliance with Gortash and Ketheric. Orin was jealous and wanted your blessing--your place as Bhaal's chosen--, so she struck you down, muddled your mind, and infected you with a mindflayer parasite. That's why you have no memory, and why you ended up on that ship.

So, here you are. You have no memories, but you have a rage and a disgrace and a vengeance you can't quite place. You've got an urge telling you to kill, kill, kill.

Pause. In previous games, the Bhaalspawn protagonist didn't have a "dark urge" that caused you to want to commit violence or murders outside of your control. (Not including Siege of Dragonspear (2016), which does include one uncontrollable murder. This DLC was released as a bridge between BG1 & 2 and came out after the pitches for BG3 had begun). It's implied that this is because of your pure divine creation--think Jesus. Think godspawn. God and mortal. That's what you are, murder incarnate.

The main crux of the DU run, then, becomes this: what do you want to do with this? There are a few paths laid out before you, but the narrative is pretty clear: you are a killer, and you'll always be a killer. This is where I first ran into my concerns with the DU; I was afraid it was going to be an edgelord-y, murderhobo-y playthrough that sacrificed story and companion mechanics for the sake of a bloody kill and edgy narration. I was pleasantly surprised to find that it wasn't the case, because the story unfurls really well no matter which way you go.

A friend of mine played the DU run totally evil; every bad option, every urge indulged, so I asked them what they thought of it. They said it "It definitely involved a lot more violence and death than [their Tav] run, but it's not like [they] murdered everyone [they] came across", and "It did feel a lot like someone very confused with themselves becoming very drunk with the power that comes with the urge".

I played my two DU playthroughs in two parallel ways. The first being Kyr; a DU who wanted to resist his urges and talked a good talk, had a good heart, but at every major moment, he failed to resist and ultimately succumbed back to Bhaal's embrace and became his Chosen.

My other playthrough is Nyris; a cynical, mistrustful bastard, he started out a little rocky, but growing with his companions caused him to reject the evil in his blood despite his other moral shortcomings; in the critical moments, he rejected Bhaal's influence and overcame.

How the DU presents to me, then, is this: nature v nurture. Which will win, which will overcome? By playing Kyr, it felt as though the nature was his driving force. It didn't matter how removed he was or how hard he tried to convince others that he could do better--how hard he could try to convince himself he could do better--he was already doomed by the narrative. Bhaal's manipulations drove him back home, and he didn't even realize that he'd been sucked back into the cult until it was far too late.

But, then, what about Nyris? To him, it felt like nurture. If you remove the cult from him, the indoctrination, what was left? A man struggling to make his own identity, but among those who reaffirmed it every chance that they could. He relied on his own strength and that of those around him to overcome, even if he was unsure, afraid, doubted. It feels like the nurture, or lack thereof, of Bhaal and the Bhaalist cult meant that he was free to grow and learn away from it.

It's something I find further supported in conversations with Jaheira and Minsc, who both talk about "their Bhaalspawn companion", otherwise known as Gorion's Ward from the first two games.

[ID: Minsc: "If Minsc did not inherit the flaming red hair of his mother, or the bushy red beard of his father, why would the spawn of Bhaal inherit his wickedness?"

Kyrran: "We should talk about nature versus nurture some day."

Minsc: "It is simple. As with all battles, the winner will be the one that carries the bigger sword."]

So, in my opinion, the personal arc of the DU and one that the player must engage with is the idea of nature versus nurture, and how your DU will cope with the revelations of their paths in light of the new memories and friendships that they have forged. That's not to say you can't always swing to one extreme; never indulge or always indulge, it's still digging into that nature versus nurture idea.

There is, also, the more overarching theme of BG3 in regards to breaking cycles of abuse, power, and control. If you lean into the idea of nature v nurture, and you realize that there were originally foster families involved in the upbringing of the DU (before said families were murdered, or the DU stolen away by the Bhaalist cult), you have to consider two things:

1.) Bhaal is comparable to both Shar and Vlaakith as gods that indoctrinate their religious followers, and

2.) Bhaal is comparable to Mystra and Cazador as those who take control of a severe power imbalance to inflict their will.

The narrative informs you, if you accept Bhaal's gift as Chosen, exactly the consequences that will fall upon you. It is the same as the consequences that are so heavily explained to you in regards to Shadowheart, Lae'zel, Gale, and Astarion.

[ID: *A gift from your god, your Father. An offering of his affection for you, or confirmation that he owns you.*]

[ID: *For a moment, the brine-pool of your brain clears. To die: to rest, to save the world from yourself. To accept, to become his prophet - in any disobedience, subject to his lash.*]

A lot of people say that the DU run is the "evil" playthrough, and it truly isn't. Just like any of the other decisions you make in this game in regards to your companion quest, it is a question of power and control. Power you give up by rejecting Bhaal is also control that he loses over you. Power you gain in accepting him, to exert over others, is also the control he will take. It's up to you how you will approach the DU, but I think it is shortsighted to say it is the "evil" playthrough if you are not fully engaging with the themes. You can make all of the good options that you can make with Tav--but you are fighting the narrative. The narrative has a plan for you. If you want to resist, you will have to fight for it.

[laurenkmyers]

once again, i got thoughts

i think the dad story line was played beautifully. it made the most sense to me. the threat of the dad being a murderer and killing someone rak came to love and rely on (uncle doctor) instead of having him actually be a murderer was brilliant storytelling.

it not only highlighted how "normal" men can be just as scary, just as terrifying, and just as manipulative as "real" criminals can be, but it shows a deep-rooted, human aspect of real trauma and how powerful words can be, and how they're used to manipulate and influence someone. especially someone as young as rak was when his father started his abuse.

rak was abused physically once as far as we know, and from what the story told us, the mum took that one incident and finally said enough and got her kids away. so as far as we know, the physical abuse was a one time thing and it never happened again. but what didn't stop was the emotional abuse. rak was so traumatised by that one incident that he created a monster in his head (and dont get me wrong, the man is a real monster) that was actually far worse. because now he has even more power over rak. because rak thinks his dad has the power to not only control him and his family, but that he also has to power to destroy anyone who might come into his life, and most importantly, anyone he loves. and that's the most terrifying thing of all. it's why he's convinced himself love doesnt exist, because if it does, his dad will just rip it away again.

jak uses his words to get exactly what he wants, from both the mother and the son. it's probably how he got the mother in bed and in that contract in the first place. he's good at what he does. and is still being paid handsomely by both of them. so he stays away, for the most part. until he can gain MORE from them, and with the cousins scheming he sees an in. but also finding out about mahasamut, and that they have 'an arrangement'. he probably thought, 'out with the old and in with the new'. he thinks mut is just a younger version of him, moving in on what he deems to be *his*

but the most important thing to take from this part of the story line, for me anyway, is that words are power. it's why rak being a fiction writer is so fucking important. because he wants to control the narrative. he wants the power that was stolen from him as a child back. and writing is his only form of release.

it's also why we see rak respond so differently to mut's dominance than he does jak. because jak uses dominant words to scare and manipulate rak, and rak retreats so easily back into the shell of his former traumatised baby self that he can't see a way out but to obey and listen, but jak's actions actually speak that of a weak, pathetic little man who wouldn't know real power if it punched him in the face.

cue mahasamut.

he uses words to soothe, and comfort, and to show the world that positivity, determination, and kindness reach far greater heights. but it's his actions that speak to who he truly is. and i think this is what scares rak the most, not in the same way his dad scares him, but mut scares him because he's not used to men actively showing him, time and time again, what real love is.

and next week we're finally going to see the story shift back to our beautiful, wonderful, walking green flag mahasamut, and the struggles he's facing. because he's the most selfless character of all. he loves rak so fiercely and won't want to give him up for anything. but he's also built a beautiful life for himself. he has his own dreams, his own aspirations, and it's time we come full circle with our relationship and see how rak can prove, through actions not words, how much mut means to him too. i'm beyond excited to return to that gorgeous island i just know they're both going to call home one day.

god, i think this show is brilliant. i really do. is it perfect? no. but i never expected it to be. but what it is, is real, and powerful, and beautiful, and messy.

[sepublic]

            I love ragging on Belos but also DAMN he’s fiendishly clever. Like let’s analyze his ‘reunion’ with the Collector;

         Gets caught, Collector is suspicious and scared? Belos immediately calms him down by making the Collector feel in control over his own spell he openly doubted, pointing to the moon symbol on Raine’s forehead; Telling this kid not to worry about his most immediate question! And then Belos justifies the anomaly by playing along with the wishful fantasy rules of a kid who believes in the magic of friendship! Anything can happen, so no need to question any further, he flatters the child.

         Then there’s his next line, in which Belos warns the Collector that he’s in danger, which is incredibly vague and could mean anything; And in the couple of seconds it takes the Collector to react in derision, Belos figures out he needs to be more specific and how to elaborate on this, claiming someone is going to betray the Collector.

         Note that he never name-drops anyone on his own, because Belos doesn’t really know who’s around the Collector, other than Odalia. But just in case, he keeps it vague so the Collector can provide an answer for him, the first person he’d assume, and thus the one whose betrayal he fears the most: King!

         Belos latches onto that. He sees King isn’t here, so he asks where is he? Note he doesn’t give an answer, doesn’t make any claims because he doesn’t KNOW anything. Belos is trying to avoid saying something that can be contradicted later on, so he keeps it vague by throwing a very simple, ‘safe’ question that nevertheless makes the kid doubt.

         The Collector watches, is reassured, looks back to Belos to brag! Then he checks again, sees what King said, and looks away. The kid is concerned, but he’s not jumping to any conclusions, and you may think, oh! This is where he checks again, just to be sure.

         And that’s when Belos drops the bombshell; Luz is here. And as he so cleverly plans, this revelation shocks the Collector, distracting them from checking on King again to hear what he ACTUALLY meant. Because Belos doesn’t know for sure how genuine King is or not, but either way, the less this kid is actually in touch with the outside world, the easier it is for Belos to control the narrative and filter all information through himself. The kid has seen enough to doubt, no need for him to find out more and potentially clarify.

         Likewise, Belos has been manipulating this kid for hundreds of years; Like it or not, the Collector is the longest relationship he’s ever had in his life, by a long shot. He knows the kid’s psychology in and out, he knows exactly which buttons to press, and he guesses at how jealous the Collector can get. If he’s friends with King and holds him in high regard, then King has probably told him about Luz during the time they’ve been hanging out. 

        And that Collector is an insecure kid… So Belos creates an Us VS Them scenario, plays into the Collector’s worst fears of King replacing him for Luz (gee, it’s like Philip speaks these insecurities from experience). The fact that Belos himself contributed deeply to the Collector’s trust issues, and is now using them is just. Ugh.

         Now Luz is something Belos DOES know about, having inhabited Hunter, knowing she followed right behind him and does plan to change things, and herself doesn’t know any more than he does; If anything, she knows less! So Belos is a lot more free to make claims about Luz’s motives and goals here, because he actually knows them for the most part. Luz is something Belos can guarantee and thus reliably interpret for the Collector to support his claim.

        That creates an unpredictable element that unsettles the kid, pair that up with the ambiguity of what King said (never checked back on, due to Belos diverting the Collector’s attention) and you’ve got the perfect recipe to manipulate this child all over again… An empty sandbox the Collector can’t verify from which Belos can craft a new narrative with, and anytime something comes along that can be interpreted in its favor, like the ending of the episode? You betcha.

         God he’s so smart, so confident that you might not even notice at first how baseless Belos’ claims are. You’d understandably think he actually DID somehow know, and wasn’t just adapting and having good luck in guessing! Imagine society if Belos weaponized his autism for actual good.

[duriens]

i know everybody has their opinions on why armand 'couldnt/could prevent it' and it is very interesting to read the various interpretations. the way i see it, there are three possibilities (and i'm for the third, spoiler alert):

one, armand couldnt prevent it because, even as a centuries-old vampire, he genuinely doesn't have the power to stop 13 vampires from eventually coming after him/him+louis if he didn't accept their ultimatum. he can make them faint, he can freeze time, he can sway the mind of the audience (with some difficulty...? true or false?) but how long can he keep these powers up and can he do it forever, for however long vampires' grudges last? he might have thought it was possible for him and louis to run away, but that eventually the coven would've found a way to manage to kill him. there's power in numbers? how powerful are centuries-old vampires, exactly? is the combined power of 13 angry vampires enough? armand himself says at some point 'they might've killed me' or smth along the line, meaning he at least believes them capable of trying to kill him. is he that afraid of confronting the coven, of doing battle with them, of failing and dying? (this is the blandest possibility)

second, armand couldnt prevent it because he didnt want to prevent it. armand is a master manipulator and he likes to manipulate others into destroying the things he's bored of/he's lost control over (the children of darkness, the theatre des vampires... his relationship with louis?) cause he doesn't want to take on the responsibilities that come with that destruction, and the eventual guilt/sorrow. armand is minimizing his role in deceiving louis and claudia and is portraying himself as helpless, a centuries-old vampire with limits to his powers, so much so that even the act of making the audience say one thing over the other takes a toll on him, cause it was so hard to just do that one thing, owwie, of course he saved it to when it came to louis' turn for the sentencing.

this is the armand we think of when we see the memes about his inaction, thinking he's smirking to himself bc he knows he could end it with a snap of his fingers.

now we all know that armand is manipulative and that he likes to be in control even when he cedes control, but is he always and in constant awareness of the degrees of his own manipulation and scheming? is he in control of all that, all the time?? does he do it purposefully, with evil intent, consciously selling out louis and claudia and agreeing to a plan involving lestat to get rid of the coven/santiago and consciously pretending to be weaker than he is to get rid of claudia? so this leads inevitably to

third, armand couldnt prevent it because he convinced himself long ago that he is completely helpless and no word or action of his could ever, ever, change a thing. this state of mind he's fallen into has obvious ties to his past, his slavery, his submissive tendencies, his inability to act and decide for himself. he's created this image of himself of someone weaker and powerless that he fully believes to be true, he manipulates others the same way he manipulates himself. his many expressions of grief, of sorrow, of guilt throughout the episodes are genuine because, at some level, he genuinely believes he 'could not prevent it', because he decided long ago he's the kind of person who simply can't on his own--that can't ever, ever be accused of serious stuff because in this narrative he created for himself he can never be a hundred percent at fault, he doesn't bear all the responsibilities. (he's still a manipulative and controlling individual here, just not as shrewd and consciously cunning as in option 2). in this light, the memes about armand doing nothing when he has the power to act become tragic in their own way, because it's tragic that he truly thinks of himself, a centuries-old vampire leader of the paris coven, as powerless and helpless as he had been when he was still alive.

[zutarasbuff]

Found this somewhere on Tumblr, it infuriated me to a great extent and forced me to crush the “coloniser-colonial romance” accusation against the Zutara nation. For this, you need to read everything quite carefully that will be presented to you.

So people who accuse Zutara use this narrative that Zuko had a princely life as a colonizer, unlike Katara. Now look at the ground reality:

Katara’s mother Kya lied to Yon Rha that she was the last waterbender of the Southern Water Tribe to save her daughter. A similar act was done by Ursa (Zuko’s mother) who killed Firelord Azulon with her potion as part of her deal with Ozai to save the life of her son Zuko and got banished eventually. That makes us come to one certain conclusion:

Both Zuko and Katara spent greater part of their life without their mothers and this impacted their childhood badly as we find them dealing with the trauma of loss even after they hit puberty.

As if the absence of a mother was not enough, when Hakoda (Katara’s father) leaves with the fleet for the war, it’s almost the same time when we find Ozai getting immersed in attacking other nations, so much so that he’s never there for both of his children. Technically speaking, even if Ozai was there physically, he was never emotionally available for his children being a narcissistic father.

I would say that Zuko had the worst childhood experience as compared to Katara because Katara had a brother who always supported his sister in dealing with the trauma, but we don’t see that in the case of Zuko whose own sister used to bully him right from the childhood for being too weak and the mom’s pet.

Now let’s analyze the colonizer part. Unfortunately, Zuko was born to a father who was not just the worst ruler but an equally worse son, brother, husband, and father. One can say that Zuko’s only fault was to hail from a wrong family but other than that, he was never a colonizer. You may ask why. I will give you a reason.

It’s not just Katara who has to bear the ill effects of the war that was imposed on her, but in many ways Zuko was a direct victim of what we call “Emotional Imperialism”. In psychology, it’s a condition where the colonizers not just physically take control of their colonies, but they start infusing their ideals deep into the mentality of their subjects as well.

Coming back to the case of Zuko, we find that he never gets to formulate the normal father-son relationship with Ozai, rather Ozai treats both his children as his humble subjects who need to obey him unquestionably and need to be perfect as his subjects. He’s in every sense not just a narcissistic parent but a controlling one as well who emotionally traps both his children and wants to rule over them at every cost. The apparent manifestation of this emotional imperialism is evident through:

Zuko’s quest to be the best firebender

When the colonizers start ruling over a certain colony, it’s the colonials who feel the need to be validated by their masters. It’s their first survival strategy that they embrace the change as they know resistance is going to be of no use. They simply adapt themselves to the new ideals that are set forth by their ruling masters. Similarly, Ozai always wanted his children to be the absolute embodiment of Azulon’s great bloodline and both his children obliged to his desires because they feared the firelord. Therefore, his stiff standards force both his children to compete against each other from a very young age. This is the worst form of emotional imperialism where the subjects simply want some validation in return and therefore they are ready to even forget their kinship. That’s what we find as Zuko repeatedly wants to “get his honor back and win the trust of his father”. What do you think this honor is? It’s not the quest for being the next heir to the throne, rather it’s being the absolute best in the eyes of the master who controls both the siblings. We know Ozai has a manipulative nature and this relates exactly to the manipulative attitude of a colonizer who puts the colonials against each other.

Zuko’s almost absent friend circle

Have you ever seen the modus operandi of the colonizers? They alienate their subjects so that the subjects find no way of self-expression and eventually give up to the demands of their masters. That’s exactly the scenario that propagates in Zuko’s life. Other than Mai and Ty Lee we don’t even find his friends throughout the series. Isn’t it a bit strange that despite being a prince, he has no guy friend of his age? He has no friends at all. It’s because the master (Ozai) wanted so. The siblings never get much exposure to the outside world. When we draw a comparison of Zuko’s situation, then Katara seems to be at an advantage in that she found a peer group that allowed her to grow further and overcome her insecurities. Zuko, however never got a chance to blend into an actual peer group and that kept him secluded throughout and gave him his introverted persona. Don’t you find it strange that as a friend Zuko got no one but his uncle who had a lot of age differences and the opinions differed too? This created a rift further maybe because Zuko felt that somehow his feelings were not interpreted well by Uncle Iroh. Compared to his “angry guy” persona, he grows a lot more friendly when he finds the gang or should we say people of his age. This allows him to understand his persona in a constructive way and he strives to alter the course of his life afterwards.

Identity crisis

Out of all the characters on ATLA, people often say that Zuko is the one with the most complex attributes because he is not even sure of his “destiny”. Sounds familiar? Eh? Well, this is the typical case of an identity crisis existing in the subjects of a colony. Zuko goes through this phase where he is always striving hard to explore his identity, and his destiny thus fueling his internal rage as well. A kaleidoscopic journey is what he follows. Sometimes it’s rage, sometimes regret and sometimes he even questions the actions of his father. By the end, his driving force to change his alliances is nothing but this very identity crisis. This makes me remember a very interesting observation that whenever he’s near the gang, he’s a bit cranky and at the same time uneasy because he looks at the gang as the polar opposite of himself. To a caged bird who has accepted his fate, even the slightest call of resistance feels like Hades’ call and that’s why he repeatedly aims to avoid Aang’s calls for forming a friendship because he is afraid of peeking into his resisting side. That’s the typical thing you find in Haru who despite being a fine earthbender resists waging a war against the firebenders who roam freely in his village at first. So would you blame Zuko for never resisting the colonization when as a subject it was inherent to his mentality for a long time?

A harsh realisation

People who degrade Zutara with this stupid claim that Katara was the only one who “lost everything” need to get their brains checked thoroughly because when we compare her loss to the magnitude of the loss faced by Zuko at the end of the war, the comparing scale diverts wildly in Zuko’s favor. Though many of you know this; I will recall it for you again. Katara lost her mother to the war but in the end, she got lifelong friends to cherish with her brother as well father. On the contrary, even during the war, we find that Zuko loses not only his mother, his father, and his sister in the worst possible way. It means all his family members are lost to him in every sense when the war ends. Now some of you will come to me with the argument that the gang eventually finds Ursa back but how? With her memories all erased. It means that the war has not just left him with permanent emotional wounds but it has further taken the very idea of a family from his life.

We zutarians never ship Zutara together because we “just find them good together” but it’s deeper than that. It’s because Zuko was the one who understood Katara’s quest for Yon Rha in order to find answers behind her mother’s death in addition to revenge. This is because deep down he was always looking for the answers of his mother’s (who was the only real person known to him) banishment. That’s exactly what we find after Zuko becomes the firelord. The first thing he does is asking Ozai questions and being certain that he’s finally gonna tell everything. We ship them together because Katara was the only person who understood the value of Zuko jumping in front of Azula’s lightning to save her. We ship them together because we believe if it had become a potential canon, maybe both of them could have helped each other in healing with their individual traumas and creating a real family together.

[maritotoy]

MAUGA X Support/Medic Reader ((Part. 1))

NOTE: Believe it or not, I never realize how long I've written this one.

This narrative tracks Mauga's obsession with Y/N as it grows to the point where he is prepared to kill everyone who stands in his way. With this in mind, Mauga's commitment would gradually grow. He would start out softly and then this need on you would get stronger.

It all began when your talents were initially utilised for recruitment. You were a terrific help, willing to assist your teammates in whatever way they needed.

Your main issue was that you could never truly let them handle things on their own. As a result, it became increasingly difficult to care for yourself.

They promised you riches if you helped them fight back against their threat. There were only so many ways to profit from rival worlds, after all. You were aware that you were going into a whole new universe when you agreed, but you also felt that you had no choice but to accept them.

Ultimately, you didn't wish to pass away, did you?

It was stated to you when you first joined TALON Organization, that you should concentrate only on the battlefield. Up until you met Baptiste, an exceptional combat medic, it was great with you. Your shared enthusiasm for curing illness is what unites the two of you. It turned into a shared passion. As you try to acquire experience in several areas, like medical supplies, you both hope to discover some more useful abilities, like healing or even a unique kind of combat capability.

But you can hardly ever get to Baptiste, he's constantly at the top. Both a combat mercenary and medic. You're always looking for ways to sharpen your skills.

Even after meeting him again at your base and on missions, you are still determined to improve your ability to deal with any possible emergencies. Not until later do you find out what happens when a member of your unit gets injured.

Baptiste surged in, carrying an imposing stature and a solid, muscular frame. His voice sounded desperate, asking, "I'm sorry if I came to you! I know you are busy, but I need help with my friend, please, Y/N!" The urgency was so obvious that there wasn't much resistance. Even if he was a doctor himself, it must have seemed urgent enough.

Besides... You were in the right place to help.

You rushed over to his side and helped him stabilize his huge friend. "What happened, Bap? Are you hurt?" He didn't reply, but his eyes told you all you needed to know.

You fix your sight on his pal. He does not appear to be hurt or seriously damage. However, the man's body is completely soaked, which looks very suspicious to you. "Is he alright, Bap? I don't see anything wrong." He shook his head and gave a sigh.

"We were attacked. Mauga and I found the source of the enemy attack and got separated."

"How long has it been since then?"

"Four hours, maybe five."

"Do you have any idea of what may have caused the damage?"

"I'm not sure. However, I had already discovered him unconscious but unharmed on the ground. It should not take long for him to awaken.." You glance at the unconscious man again before you say, "Let me take a look at him." He nodded and stepped aside.

"Mauga could never be wounded by shots like that. Despite his size, he could easily absorb one hit thanks to his physique." He explains.

You crouch down and check on his comrade. He seems fine to you. There's nothing unusual about him, other than the fact that he's a bit too heavy.

You knew Mauga.

And with such.

You just don't know how to engage with him.

On a conversation? Yes. Your profession is your duty.

You don’t really get along with those who rely solely on themselves as an advantage, even though you respect their abilities.

The feeling is mutual. Every time someone gets hurt because of something beyond their control, you are there to help them.

Because that's your job as a medic.

You both have quite a difference in interests, though. You can't stand the fact that he’s so reckless, you can't understand why he doesn't think more carefully before he acts. As soon as he sees blood, it's always the most important thing.

Mauga stands tall, towering over his opponents with an impressive height of 7'5 ft tall. (My headcanon)

Mauga is a formidable opponent on the front lines thanks to his strong, muscular physique. His broad shoulders and thick neck gives off an air of strength and power, and his body is well-built, demonstrating his strength and capacity to deal severe damage to rivals.

Did I mention he has two hearts?

Unlike you, Mauga is a ruthless and cunning individual, driven by his own motivations. He never lets anyone interfere with his goals, whether or not they involve you. While he might act with reckless disregard sometimes, he is also able to calculate the best course of action.

Not anyone knows this. But you knew nontheless with Baptiste.

You may be underestimating him in some way, or you may have witnessed the genuine thing, up close and personal, but he always brags about his achievements without hesitation or shame. His fighting style turns wild and unpredictable when he fights. If Mauga doesn't want to win, he will take his time, before using ChaCha and Gunny, his chainguns, to grab the victory, and he won't give up until he achieves his objective.

He definitely is careless, isn't he?

"He's breathing just fine, Baptiste. I would say he is in perfect health, aside from the injuries, I can't detect any signs of any damage injuries either." You said as you stood up. Baptiste sighs relief. "I'll leave him to you doctor. Don't worry, I trust that you have everything under control." He says this to you while nodding in satisfaction.

This gesture of his is a way of gratitude towards the medic's work.

"I will be back later," he says as he leaves to make a round to prepare for battle.

While Baptiste was gone, you sat next to the downed mercenary soldier and begin to observe him. In the midst of his unconsciousness, he seems to be in a good state. There was no sign of discomfort or pain. His pulses are fast but steady, knowing that Mauga have two hearts, one that allowed him to replace his damaged, organic heart with a cybernetic one. That way, his heart will beat twice as fast. You can easily tell that Mauga is in his natural state.

Your eyes began to feel heavy after observing him for some time. You weren't sure if it's due to fatigue from watching him, or simply exhaustion from your duties as a medic.

Before you knew it, you fell asleep.

When you awoke, you find yourself staring back into the face of Maugaloa Malosi, whose lips formed into those flashing, same pasted smile as usual. “Ah, Doctor. How nice to see you again.”

You quickly wake up, sitting straight up on the chair. “M-Mauga!" You exclaimed, alarmed. "H-How is you- I mean are you feeling alright?”

He grinned at you. “I am feeling rather fine.” You let out a long, sigh of relief. However, you didn't anticipate that this would happen frequently. “I see..." You replied.

Silence takes over for a while. Mauga stared at you intensely before taking a step forward. “Your Y/N, correct? Baptiste little assistant. I've heard much about you, but never expect that I would get to get treated from you.”

You flinched slightly at his words 'assistant' and the word 'little', but you remained calm. “I'm glad that you feel better now. You should rest and recover. If you still need them..."

“I appreciate the concern,” he says as he reaches towards your shoulder. You instinctively raise your hands in preparation of blocking. This caught him off guard, causing him to pause in his movements, then booms laughing.

“My apologies, Teuila. I thought that you might have forgotten what I do here,” he said in that familiar, friendly tone.

“If I recall correctly, I haven't given you permission to touch me.” This comment caught him off guard as he chuckles deeply.

He stares at your hand for a while longer. You're beginning to become worried. After a brief silence, he reaches forward and lightly holds onto your wrist.

“That’s a very sensitive spot…” He whispers gently. Your heartbeat begins to accelerate. “And your pulse is fast. Is this normal?” he asks. “Yes,” you respond in a soft voice.

“Then why are you afraid? You know I'm not going to hurt you...” He grinned. His sharp teeth glinted menacingly in the dim light. "Surely you've already made a friend? You also gave him a lot of attention than you do with me. Or have you grown to dislike me?"

"...I... I beg your pardon-" your speech is interrupted by Baptiste with a tired expression.

"Hey... Sorry that I took so long. I went to gather supplies. Mission was a success." He sighed in relief as he approached you.

"Mauga, I'm glad your awake bud." Baptiste sighs in relief and smiles at Mauga. Mauga returned the gesture before looking back at you.

He still has that huge grin plastered across his features while his eyes darted towards yours. "You're crazy out there Mauga. Do you really think that you can defeat the enemies single handedly?" Baptiste says with a chuckle. “You know me Baptiste, I never do things without planning them out.” He grinned, revealing that row of dazzlingly white teeth. “I still don't understand how you've been knocked down so easily. It's hard to believe that you can be beaten like that.” Baptiste gives a half smirk, half frown.

You listen to their conversation, and you try to make sense of it. Mauga laughs at the situation, as if it's all so obvious. "C'mon, Baptiste, we have bigger problems than me right now. The mission is a success because we finally found the enemy camp. But it was a close call, and we needed your medical expertise to treat the wounded," Mauga explains to Baptiste while looking directly into his eyes with a sly smile. "I carried your massive ass in this camp with support of your weight alone. You ought to be pleased to have a subordinate with such skill." Baptiste smirks. He was referring to you. Mauga laughs at his friend's criticism, displaying his amusement at the circumstances.

"So yeah. It was pretty rough, but we managed to secure the objective! Isn't that great news?"

It's not really a surprise to you.

Mauga does tend to put himself in danger, especially when he's in an unfamiliar place.

This guy is completely reckless, which is why you can't believe that he managed to survive so many battles without falling apart or breaking down.

"Your a loose-canon, but I hope ended well..." you say calmly, hoping that you sound convincing enough.

"I can assure that I have the highest respect and admiration for your abilities as a medic. I would never doubt your skills, even if I hadn't personally experience how skilled you are in dealing with wounds." Mauga comments, he sounds sincere as ever.

Baptiste grins again. "That's a big ego of yours, my friend. You should consider giving a few compliments to the people who did more than you."

"I would love to, my friend, but there's nothing wrong with being modest about our accomplishments."

"Alright," Baptiste said, sounding annoyed.

--------

After several hours, days, months of treating your patients at base. You cannot help but wonder seeing Mauga quite often, whether that is purely because of duty or something else. Although it is difficult to tell what he's thinking, there are moments where you notice the way that he is constantly staring at you. Like he's trying to figure out something about you:

studying your appearance, facial expressions, mannerisms. Sometimes he gets lost in his thoughts, sometimes he appears to be lost in his own world, occasionally, you could catch him smirking knowingly, or even smiling to himself. These small gestures usually only occur during times when it's with you with him. Sometimes, the man is just too cheerful, or too energetic in general.

You could hardly handle the stress of handling all these patients in the infirmary on your own. You're starting to miss having Baptiste around to keep him occupied while you go through patients. You sighed loudly not until Mauga appears behind you

You found him with wounds on his chest and torso. You turn to look at him, "What happened?"

"Nothing serious..." He grins, showing his sharpened teeth.

"Just a minor injury, eh?" You raise an eyebrow at the mercenary, crossing your arms over your chest. Mauga simply shrugs as he sits on a table.

There was another period of silence between you two, and the atmosphere seemed to tense up considerably. This time, it's you who breaks the silence. "I'm sorry that you got injured. I don't know how I should react seeing someone else getting hurt so casually. You could have died out there. And that's not the worst thing that can happen," you said sarcastically and sternly.

He chuckles. "Oh really? Tell me more." He leans closer to your face, gazing deeply into your eyes. "Ah. So that's how it is."

You glare at him angrily, but he ignores you as you continue working. "Are you seriously going to mock me for worrying about you?"

"Not at all," he replied, with a hint of sarcasm. "But there is one thing that concerns me."

"What? You're going to insult me too, aren't you?" Mauga laughs while Y/N tends his injury.

The felt of your touch sends shivers throughout his entire body. He tries hard to suppress the sudden urge to grab her hand and hold on tightly. It's becoming harder to control these urges though. He shakes his head rapidly as he pulls away from you. He looks at you with narrowed eyes. "I'm not mocking you, you know?"

Your gaze flicks briefly to his. "Hm."

There was a short silence between you two, until you began to clean a cut on one of his legs. You noticed his gaze follow every movement of your fingers. "Why are you staring at me like that?"

"I'd prefer that you didn't ask questions so frequently, Teuila."

"Teuila?" You face him. "You know, I never asked you of this... But why do you call me that?" He lets out a deep chuckle and replies. "Because you look like Teuila. It fits well, doesn't it?" He flashes you a warm smile before turning his head away again.

You shrugged of his answer, continuing your work without saying anything further, although you were extremely curious. "Teuila... What does that word mean?" There's a brief moment of silence in between the two of you once you finished cleaning up the blood staining his leg. A faint smile plays across his lips again. "I thought you were better than that."

"And you think that you're better than me?"

"Yeah," he replies smugly.

"Then... You've obviously underestimated me, don't you?" You give him a challenging smirk. He returns the smile with a smirk of his own, but he then turns serious again. His eyes narrow. "Let me enlighten you. That name means 'flower'. Do you understand what kind of flower it means?"

You gave him a blank stare. He continues to smirk, waiting for you to understand his meaning. Eventually, you sigh, putting your hands on your hips. "Do I look like I care to know?" You scoff, rolling your eyes lightly.

Mauga laughs. "Well, I guess it doesn't matter what you think of it..."

There was silence between you two for a few seconds, and you looked away with furrowed brows.

You finish patching up the mercenary, placing some bandages around him and securing them securely. "Now that I finished helping you, you're dismissed." You professionaly said after you made sure that everything was covered properly. Mauga laughs at this. "Really? Now? Just like that?" He asks mockingly.

"Yes Mauga, I don't have any other duties besides tending to your wounds. I've been doing that for quite some time now," you responded coldly.

Mauga raises an eyebrow at this. "You know, if you start beginning to care about those wounds, you might find yourself losing them. If you want me to leave your clinic quickly, then you'll have to earn my trust first, which requires some work."

You sigh heavily. Of course Mauga will insist on making things difficult for you. "I am no doctor Mauga, I cannot cure your injuries." You sarcasticly said.

"Oh I know that. But you're still willing to take the risk." He chuckled.

"You wouldn't had to waste precious time coming here in order to talk shit."

Mauga laughs at you again, grinning like a cat that ate the canary. "I wouldn't waste too much time coming here either, but I also wouldn't be able to enjoy it quite as much because you'll be gone by then," he says confidently. "Besides, you're not exactly known for your patience." You roll your eyes, turning back to the table in front of you.

"You know I've always wondered what it feels like to be your patient," Mauga mused. "To be the one receiving the attention of the most skilled medic in your battalion."

"You must be joking," you replied, you know what he meant, not wanting to think that you would ever become his patient.

"No. You know me... " He grins. You groaned. "Don't' make such assumptions, we don't know each other all that well yet."

"Yet..."

You glared at him as he laughed. "Whatever. It seems like there's no stopping you, is there? We haven't even officially met yet, and already you're acting as if you have a good relationship with me." You sighed exasperatedly, massaging the area of your forehead in irritation.

"Listen, Mauga. My job is simple, I care for my patients and treat them well. Nothing more, nothing less."

"Oh yeah? Well, maybe I'm different," he said cockily.

"How? Are you not afraid of dying?"

"No... No I'm not... I've done so much more reckless things than death." His expression suddenly shifted to an emotionless one. For a moment, it felt almost as if he wasn't looking at you anymore. Then he chuckled softly, giving you a playful wink. "But I'm no saint."

"It must be hard to admit being human." You shook your head slightly.

"Sometimes." His grin returned to his features.

You couldn't help but stare directly into his eyes for a little longer, taking in how dark they actually are.

Mauga shows a huge plastered face. His still wearing his dumb smile.

You blinked at him.

He blinked back.

You rolled your eyes. "Stop smiling so much." He continued to laugh, as you turned away from him again. Mauga stood up and stretched lazily, "I have something to attend to, I'll be seeing you later," Mauga teasingly said as he made his way towards the door. He opens it, but he glances back.

A small smirk forms on his lips.

You watch him disappear outside the door, closing it behind him with a click. Once the door closes you let out a heavy sigh, resting your back against the wall behind you. Your heart is racing a mile, a minute, both at the prospect of having finally been alone with Mauga again, and the strange feeling within you after you spent several hours alone with him.

This feeling...

It's definitely not normal.

End of part 1

Part 2- ???

[phantomchick]

Naruto and being the Underdog

Okay so recently I was discussing naruto's characterisation in the comments section of a fanfic and the author was explaining that they don't like/never vibed with Naruto's character (which is totally fair). But then they explained how they felt the supposed underdog setup was contrived and didn't really work because Naruto never actually starts at zero thanks to his jinchuriki powers and being the yondaime's son. (And so here I am, on my soapbox to discuss how Naruto and the concept of being and underdog relate.)

On a physical level perhaps this applies, but Naruto places an equal (if not larger) amount of focus on the emotional action as it does on its plot action.

On an emotional level he has to work for each and every one of his personal relationships.

He wants to be hokage a role he can only take if he is both respected by his village and powerful enough to protect it. It''s a twofold goal. And in terms of the social aspect this is clearly stacked against him due to the hatred and exploitation of jinchuriki as well as shinobi in general, achieving emotional connection and dialogue between people who are used to might makes right or who are pre-disposed to look down on him or want to kill him puts him firmly at a disadvantage narratively.

With the notable exception of Hinata whose love is unconditional, whether it's Tsunade, Neji, Sasuke or Gaara or even Kurama the respect and attention that naruto craves are things he actively pursues in both good and bad ways and he earns them through his own effort.

He does this both by striving to understand these very different people and where they're coming from as well as surviving all the shit the world throws at him. Emotional and physical tasks.

In terms of being a jinchuriki and getting the rasengan easily thanks to his shadow clone bullshit / birthright connections to the yondaime It must first be acknowledged that the jinchuriki power is more of a disadvantage than a boon to him at first. First, because of kurama actively going out of his way to mess with his chakra control as a kid while doing the leaf exercise he was unable to learn the regular clone jutsu; it also results in him experiencing the trauma of discrimination and isolation from a young age which could easily have led to festering self-hatred and alienation if not for Iruka's intervention, it results in multiple S ranks who are fully capable of killing even shippuden level Naruto targetting him, and while the trade-off of boundless energy and survive-ability is immense those same boundless resources have the potential to burn him alive if he loses emotional control/gives into his most negative emotions - that's basically making the subtext text at that point, the story is about his emotional development and growth, something his "OP buffs" don't earn for him. Let's talk about boundless chakra resources for a moment. At the end of the original series, he only knows the rasengan; the rasenshuriken, the shadow clone justu and sage mode/yinyang mode by the end of the series and that's like 5 justu tops if we're counting yin/yang/bijuu mode and sage mode as jutsu. The majority of what he learned from jiraiya for three years seemed to be taijutsu only with a side of failed bijuu control. Naruto has his jinchuriki chakra from the start but that doesn't translate to an ability to use it, he has to spend hours working out how to do the shadow clone, he did not figure out how to do the jutsu because of his chakra even if that was the reason he was able to use it at all, and when it comes to the rasengan I will cite [someone who deleted their reddit account] here:

Naruto completed the first stage in three days and one night. He figured out how his chakra needed to move to burst the water balloon (thanks to a cat) but because he didn't have the necessary chakra control, he improvised by using another hand. He completed the second stage in three weeks or so. The next day(?), Jiraiya gave him a hint to improve his focus which allowed him to finally complete it. And the third stage was completed seven days later to win his bet with Tsunade. Once again, Naruto didn't have the control to focus his chakra the correct way despite his continuous efforts. It wasn't until he came up with another improvised method by using a shadow clone to focus the chakra that he was able to complete the final stage.

Meaning he is the one who comes up with unorthodox methods, such as also using his other hand, or using a shadow clone to focus the chakra, to learn it in four and a half weeks but he still had to figure out how to do it all himself. The shadow clone would've been useless without his understanding of the jutsu or his ability to do the individual parts of the jutsu. He earns the jutsu and could conceivably have learned it the old fashioned way were he not under an artificial time limit as both Jiraiya and Kakashi, both without jinchuriki power, know it and can use it.

Now I'll talk about his supposed privilege as the yondaime's child: Sasuke gets chidori and later kirin thanks to HIS connections but that's never remarked on in the same way. And in fact most people in the naruto-verse learn a big jutsu from their clan or parent; see Might Gai, the genius of hard work, learning the eight gates thanks to his father. The rasenshuriken is something he's only capable of learning thanks to his chakra and shadow clones I hear you quote Kakashi, but it's again, something he couldn't do without actually putting the work in to learn the jutsu. Naruto is on a time crunch because of Akatsuki, the fact he is capable of learning the jutsu once he has advice on wind chakra from Asuma and has practiced forming the rasengan and doing windblades enough means he didn't need the extra chakra to do it, having the chakra didn't automatically make him capable of the rasenshuriken all it did was speed up his chakra control practice exponentially, it would have taken him more time practicing but he could have learned the jutsu eventually even if he wasn't a jinchuriki. Now summons. Being the Yondaime's child might get him an in with Jiraiya to let him have the toad contract, but Sakura and Sasuke also get summoning contracts thanks to personal connections with Tsunade and Orochimaru and Jiraiya only gets him the opportunity. It's Naruto who has to use his willpower to stay on Gamabunta's back and it's Naruto who has to form relationships with his summons like Gamakichi, (a bond that becomes instrumental toward the end of the 4th war). Additionally learning Sage mode wasn't just a result of Naruto getting the contract because neither Sasuke nor Sakura achieved it despite both having contracts (and despite Kabuto managing it where Sasuke didn't) Sasuke with the Hawks as well as the Snakes. And importantly Naruto was unable to use clones or his extra chakra to speed up his training in this. In fact the clones only come into it after he has successfully mastered sage mode and function as a limited extra resource that's can't go beyond three shadow clones meditating and this doesn't function as more sage powah but as a means of extending his sage modes duration, a workaround that's only needed because his being a jinchuriki gets in the way of him gathering sage mode in real-time with the toads on him. In conclusion while his chakra lets him practice jutsu to learn them faster, this is not the case in either his sage mode or the yin yang release and only applies to the shadow clone, rasengan and rasenshuriken - all of which he had to actually learn and understand the mechanics of otherwise the jutsu wouldn't have worked no matter how many shadow clones he had try it and that with the exception of shadow clone he demonstrably could've learned them without being a jinchuriki. And in the case of rasengan and rasenshuriken he is under artificial time-limits imposed by Orochimaru and the Akatsuki.

So that's shadow clone, rasengan, rasenshuriken and sage mode covered but what about bijuu mode. An overpowered special mode he only gets for being a jinchuriki, that B only bothers to teach him because he's a jinchuriki, surely that's LEGIT op bullshit. No? No. At least not in comparison to the Sakura's forehead seal from Tsunade, Sasuke's Mangekyou abilities like izanagi, giant purple warrior and amaterasu, Obito's mokuton, Madara's sage of six paths abilities or the rinnegan's everything, anyway. Not to mention what the edo tensei are capable of.

The only reason bijuu mode works is that he earns Kurama's regard on an emotional level, it's not something which being a kage's kid or having jinchuriki chakra levels actually does fuck all to contribute to. He was that all along but Kurama still hated him and tried to take over his body. It's Naruto himself who has to reach out and make that effort to understand this person who he's always seen as a burden or a curse or an annoying tenant who doesn't pay rent, a monster who tries to kill him and take his body. It's Naruto who has to put in the emotional labour and see Kurama as a person, no matter the harm he's done.

Naruto is the underdog in spite of being "the chosen one" and having the strongest bijuu and a kage father because emotional labour is never easy and in a world like his it seems insane to even try. It's why everyone except him was prepared to give up on Sasuke, Naruto recognises his anger at Itachi and desire to avenge his family as valid, Naruto when he finds out the truth about Itachi from Danzo tells Sasuke he gets it, why he wants to destroy the village, why he's so angry, when Sasuke changes his mind and decides to become hokage instead of destroying it so he can change it, Naruto understands WHY even if he still wants to be kage himself. The problem with Sasuke is that his anger is self-destructive and self-isolating, not that it exists, it's when Naruto fights him one last time and makes Sasuke realise that he's only hurting himself and his loved ones at this point, that "talk no jutsu" finally works and Sasuke is able to listen to Naruto and come home.

It's also why Naruto earns being hokage; in a world full of killers, someone who is capable of acknowledging the harm done and not ignoring or forgetting it (like how he tells pain he can't forgive him), but who is also capable of looking past that and understanding the motivations and feelings of the person he's dealing with and talking to them on that level as equals hits so hard. It just felt like a fantastic set up for a diplomatic hokage capable of dealing with other kages and achieving a peace in spite of the fact they're all to the last, untrustworthy ninja mercenaries who are generally very ends justify the means. In a world of kill or be killed Naruto is still willing to kill, but he's also willing to understand and to talk. And he wasn't born with that, he worked for it and failed often, especially with Sasuke, it was never easy, it often appeared hopeless but he kept trying.

And we rooted for him because of it.

[suratan-zir]

Hi. I wanted to ask how you have those among Ukrainians who believe in russian propaganda. I just met one refugee from Kharkov, and he told me that Putin is fighting for the Russian world, and it was the United States that started the war. He reasons that since he speaks Russian, he should support Russia's actions. And this despite the fact that his city was bombed, and he and his family were on the verge of life and death.

Hi. I can't really answer this. I mean, I can try, but I'm not good at answering vague questions. I'm not well-spoken enough.

How come so many USAmericans worship Trump and see him as a savior of the poor when he's the exact opposite? How come far-right parties all across Europe gain more and more popularity, with people believing that fascists in power will resolve all their problems? Hell, we can take it a step further and ask how come people become anti-vaxxers and flat Earth believers? The answer is only one - propaganda. People fall under the harmful influence.

Russian propaganda has been extremely active in the southeast of Ukraine basically since we gained independence. Russia has been spending millions upon millions on brainwashing Ukrainians. The propaganda became more and more aggressive since the Orange Revolution. It was everywhere in the Donbas, you couldn't even wear a piece of orange clothing without risking being beaten up.

I was only a middle-schooler, but I remember it in detail. Propaganda materials such as leaflets were distributed everywhere. I remember one with Viktor Yushchenko (pro-European presidential candidate) against the background of the US flag and Uncle Sam who's saying, "Yushchenko is our pResident." I remember asking my mother what it meant, and she said it means that Yushchenko is a very bad person. This stuff was wild. And it only got wilder.

Russian propaganda claims over the years varied from the statement that "Donbas feeds the entire Ukraine" to "pro-European politicians and the US will make concentration camps in the Donbas for the Russian-speakers and will populate the territory with people from the West instead." I don't know how, but people believed in this purely artificial conflict. Not only were there never any persecutions against the Russian-speakers, but you would actually feel more comfortable speaking Russian in Ukraine. In most regions, the Ukrainian language was considered a "redneck" language and would get you nowhere. Of course, the Ukrainian government is also to blame for letting Russia control the narrative. But for most of these independent years, Ukraine was basically externally managed by Russia. During Yanukovych's presidency, we were like Belarus is now - a false "president" taking instructions straight from the Kremlin. So the brainwashing was getting worse and worse.

I told this story several times, and I'll tell it again. Before the "referendum" in Donetsk, most people laughed at the idea of the "republic." It was supported by some local lunatics, but mostly the whole thing was done by russian mercenaries and russian military. During this time, my aunt told me that those who support this are crazy and they're calling war into our homes. She was a reasonable person. She had a job, a nice apartment of her own, a happy family, and a bright future ahead. In 2015 they fled from Donetsk to russia, along with my grandmother. Why to russia? Propaganda. Then they got russian citizenship and used it to vote for putin. I asked how they could vote for him after what he did to them, after they lost it all. "We're thankful he gave us a home, gave us citizenship," was the answer. At first, he took everything from you, ruined your life, then let you restore a tiny bit of it - and you're grateful. I don't know how this works. It's not like they were welcomed in russia, they faced a lot of prejudice and oppression for being from Donetsk. To the point that my cousin was bullied at school for being from the Donbas, not only by kids but by teachers, despite being an excellent student and graduating with honors. Russians are outraged that their state "rescues" and "helps" those Donbas khokhols instead of helping "true" russians.

In the second month of the full-scale invasion, my grandmother proposed that I move to them, to the moscow region of russia. "This is the country that is trying to kill us all, how can you ask me to move there?" "What difference does it make which country to live in? It's safe here." So along with pro-putin brainrot comes also apoliticalness, passivity.

I'm rambling at this point. I don't want to go on about this forever, like I know I can. Let's leave it at this.

[breakfastteatime]

Well, instead of fixing the political landscape of the US and the rest of the world, how about I let everyone take a sneak peek at a fic I'm working on?

This is unedited, untitled and very very very unfinished...

***

Cere stares at Cal.

Cal stares at Cere.

BD, Merrin and Greez stare at both of them.

No one speaks. A faint wind blows across the clearing, carrying the scent of sea salt.

BD twitches. Merrin grabs him before he can do or beep anything. Greez seems to be holding his breath.

A lightsaber ignites, a soft buzz in the dawn light. Cere moves first.

Cal blocks. 

Cere's jabs are short, sharp and accurate. Cal moves fast, single-blade meeting Cere's every time.

BD cheers Cal on. Merrin marvels at Cere's form. She’s so much more refined than Cal, not a single movement wasted. Greez covers his eyes with his hands, then covers those hands with his other hands. He cracks his fingers and peers through.

Cere pushes Cal hard, forcing him to tighten his forms, rely more on real Jedi techniques and less on improvised flashiness. Probably because Cere has his second blade and gave him strict orders not to attempt to pull it from her hand. That, she told him, is a cheap trick and not one he should ever rely on. She is wise. And devious. Merrin admires her greatly.

Cere is holding back; not because Cal cannot match her (although Merrin would absolutely bet against him), but because there is a lesson to be learned here. One perhaps Merrin needs to learn too. Flair is arrogance. A Jedi should not show off. They must set their sights on their target and deal with it as succinctly as possible.

A Nightsister can do the same, but only so when she does indulge, her enemies are all the more stunned by her power and prowess.

Honestly (and Merrin will never share this with anyone), she thinks the Jedi needed to cut loose once in a while.

The fight continues. Cere never falters, her relentless lunges and jabs seeking every gap in Cal's defence. He has the endurance to withstand Cere's prolonged offence, but he doesn't have her experience, and when she does eventually break his guard and land a blow, Cal seems delighted to have held out as long as he did. 

He is a very strange person.

"Can we please have breakfast now?" Greez pleads.

“Of course,” Cere says, looking bright and light on her toes. She pats Cal on the shoulder, returns her borrowed lightsaber, and tells him to put some bacta on the burn, and heads aboard the ship. “We need to finalise the supply list.”

BD’s list of demands is lengthy. Cal nods. “Yeah, that’s what we’ll do first, and I’ll get you the best oil I can find.”

“It’s not all about what you want, BD!” Greez hollers.

Merrin wishes she understood BD. She’d love to understand all that beeping and why it’s making Cal laugh like that.

After breakfast, they head into the nearby town armed with destinations to visit and lists from Cere. Merrin can’t wait. She’s never been anywhere like this, Built into the cliff, the people here have two main trades – fishing and mining, and the mining is largely done at the behest of the Empire. Merrin suspects Cal wants to shut the mines down. She also knows Cere won’t let him. The planet’s entire economy relies on those mines just as much as they need the fishing for food. Personally, Merrin can barely wrap her head around galactic economics, but she knows enough to understand they can’t make things worse for ordinary people. They see it time and time again; planets apparently thriving under the Empire, the people completely unaware of the suffering being endured elsewhere in the galaxy. Merrin cannot understand it. For all the cravenness they see, sometimes she simply has to accept that the Empire is very good at controlling their own narrative and nothing they do will convince people the Empire isn’t the best thing that ever happened.

Sometimes, she truly misses the simplicity of her life on Dathomir.

She also misses the warmth. She’s wearing several layers and it’s still not enough. And then, when they reach the town, there are signs everywhere for an ice rink. Cal forgets his list and the shops Cere told him to go to.

“Merrin, we gotta go!” Cal’s eyes light up.

“What is an ice rink?” she asks.

“You skate! On ice! You’ll love it.”

“Stores and supplies first,” Cere says before Merrin can tell Cal ‘no’. “Potentially limb breaking activities later.”

They split up and go their separate ways with a promise to meet up at the ice rink later. Merrin moves through the streets, staring openly at what she sees. Shops carved into the cliffs, others bolted on and towering into the sky, all of them thrumming with people of all species and genders. Cere specifically chose a busy time of day for them to enter the town so no one would notice them. They’re just another batch of tourists come to marvel at the cliff city of Turrey, mid-rim gateway to the stars (according to all the posters she sees pasted on streetlights and mounted on store walls). She likes this world, likes its energy. The people here are hard-working, proud, honest. She can feel it, is empowered by it. Not that she’ll be wielding her magick for all to see while they’re here. Not unless the Empire decides to do something exceedingly heinous which, given that she has yet to come across a single stormtrooper, seems unlikely.

Once she’s gathered up the supplies on her list (various foodstuffs, some ingredients that will suffice for her potion craft, a local tea she thinks Cere might like), Merrin heads to the local café where they’d all agreed to meet. It’s built into a cave, huge glowing orbs hanging from the ceiling, soft bass music playing under the current of conversation and busy barista activity. Cere is there already, sipping caf and watching the world go by. Merrin orders herself a very elaborate juice, complete with ice, froth and a little umbrella, and joins her at the table.

“What do you think?” Cere says. “How does this world rank with all the others you’ve been to so far?”

Sipping her juice, wincing at the sharp sweetness, Merrin lakeers for a moment. Cliff city, chilly weather, sunny though… “If we can finish what we need to do without encountering a single stormtrooper, it will rank highly.”

Greez, Cal and BD join them a short while later, both laden down with supplies and caf. BD is the first to launch into a lengthy explanation about… something. Merrin still does not understand him. Cal translates.

“The people here kept telling me to ‘mind my droid’ as they tend to be unreliable and prone to malfunctions on this world,” he says. BD blurts out something else. “I know, buddy, you’re fine. No malfunctions detected.”

“Malfunction how?” Cere asks.

“Unreliable memories, a tendency to lie, that kind of thing,” Cal says. “It’s probably why most of the droids we came across in the stores we went in didn’t have vocalisers.”

“Eh, wouldn’t be the first world we’ve been on that doesn’t like or trust droids,” Greez says. “Anyway, enough about that. What’s next on the agenda, and please tell me it’s chilling out and having a good day.”

Cal immediately talks about the ice rink, raving about how it’s actually a large lake on top of the cliff outside the town hall and the river its connected to runs all the way through the mountain and down to the sea. He’s so excited, Merrin feels like she’s talking to someone much younger. She wonders for a moment if this was what he was like as a child, happy and excitable. If he is, no wonder he and BD get on so well.

“…heard anything I said, Merrin?”

She blinks, stirring her drink with the straw. “We will go to this ice lake rink you speak of. I would like to see you skate.”

BD giggles and tells Cal something that makes Cal roll his eyes and jab BD’s chassis. “I’d like to see you do any better!”

They go back and forth, teasing each other, although Merrin can only pick up one side of the conversation.

“We’ll drop everything off on the ship, then come back to watch Cal go flailing across the ice,” Greez says.

“Merrin too unless she’s too scared,” Cal says, sing-song, teasing. BD provides backing vocals. “We can race, see who can get from one side of the rink to the other the fastest.”

Merrin is never one to turn down a challenge.

When they head up to the top of the cliff later, Merrin is amazed at the sights. The town hall is as immense and sturdy as the ground it looks as though it has grown out of. Beyond, Merrin can see the entrances to the mines, the hovertrain lines busy with cargo and passenger vehicles.

“Don’t get any ideas about taking a ride on one of those,” Greez tells Cal. “One train rescue is enough for an entire lifetime.”

“You didn’t exactly rescue me from the train,” Cal says.

“Almost,” Greez says. “We almost rescued you from that train.”

“Wish you had.” Cal’s hand rubs his chest. “I wouldn’t have broken so many bones.”

“Wait, you broke bones?”

The ice rink stands at the heart of the town square, a space easily as large as the swamps of Dathomir. Cal pays for tickets and skate rental. He only pays for himself and Merrin, and he leads her into a small, benched area where people are changing in and out of skates.

“Here you go!” Cal hands her the skates.

Dubious, Merrin stares at the boots in her hand, boots with thin blades bolted to the soles. She stares at Cal, who has already switched his regular boots for these skates. "You have ice-skated before?" she asks.

"Nope! Not like this. I’m not sure I can count sliding down frozen rivers on Zeffo as skating."

BD beeps. Cal scoffs. "No, you haven't! It doesn't count if you're not the one actually touching the ice."

In response, BD hops down and onto the ice. Merrin watches him slip and slide in the ice rink, barely avoiding the skaters. People dressed in warm clothes zip by, some with skill and confidence, others poised like they're terrified they might fall through into the water below.

"I'll have some hot drinks waiting for you when you're finished," Greez says.

"You do not have so far to fall," Merrin says. "Would it not be better for you to go skating?"

He laughs so hard he nearly crashed into the people walking by. "No, no way. This is a young person's sport."

An elderly couple whizz by. Merrin raises an eyebrow.

"They're Human! Totally different." Greez waves her away. "Go on, go! Have fun!"

Merrin looks to Cere.

“Not a chance,” Cere says. “I’ve got the med kit on standby.”

Accepting she has lost this argument, Merrin removes her boots and tugs on the skates, lacing them as tight as she can stand. Cal waits for her on the lake edge, BD back in his usual place. Apparently, he also decided against skating.

“Ready?” Cal asks her, hand held out to her.

She takes it. “If I go down, you are coming with me.”

He laughs and slides onto the ice, tugging her along with him. She keeps her balance, as does he, and she watches the more confident skaters, how they keep their heads held up and move with confidence. She can do that. How hard can it even be?

She releases Cal’s hand and pushes off, movement steady and confident. Her speed picks up, the cold air whistling by. She moves past slower skaters, eyes locked on the path ahead. She can do it. She’s doing it!

A small child whizzes in front of her, oblivious to the oncoming danger. Merrin’s instinct is to teleport out of the way. She resists, instead accepting the inevitable crash. The child, however, is faster than expected, and launches into a twirling leap, trailing glee and pride in her wake. Merrin is impressed, and she skates on.

“You gonna try that?”

Cal’s sudden presence behind her nearly sends Merrin failing to the ice. She saves her balance just in time. Cal cackles. She turns (it is not graceful) and gives him a hefty shove. He slides backward, with more grace than she mustered.

It’s times like she is reminded why she did not like him when she first set eyes on him on Dathomir.

“Go,” she tells him. “Show off. I will practice here and beat you at our race.”

“Didja hear that, BD? Merrin’s still up for the race!”

BD does his own twirl across Cal’s shoulders.

“Let us know when you’re ready!” Cal calls as he glides away.

He even does a little spin.

“The child’s was better.”

He sticks out his tongue as he skates away with the confidence of a pro.

By the time Merrin feels ready to race Cal, the ice rink has quietened down. She meets him on the far end. “I will race you,” she says. “No powers.”

He nods. “No powers.”

“BD? No help from you either.”

Whatever BD says in response causes Cal to laugh. She ignores them both. “On three.”

“One – ”

Merrin crouches, ready for launch. “Two…”

“Three!”

Cal takes off, BD squealing. Merrin digs deep and pushes hard, ignoring the voice in her head reminding her she doesn’t know how to stop. Cal is far ahead, weaving around people with obnoxious ease.

If only she could teleport. Then he’d lose. But she already knows Cere and Greez (especially Greez) would prefer if they kept their heads down unless they really needed to –

The lake quakes. The mood changes from joy to confusion. Merrin slows without stopping. People slow to a stop, looking at each other.

From somewhere off to the side of the ice rink, a voice shouts. “Get off the ice!”

Another quake, worse this time. Several people are thrown off their feet.

The ice cracks with strange twangs and pops Merrin has never heard before.

Cries go out, people no longer skating smoothly and instead flailing, trying to keep from falling off the chunks of ice and into the water.

Merrin falls to her knees, her balance lost. A man ahead of her skids to a stop, turns back and holds out his hand. “Let me help,” he says.

Thanking him, Merrin accepts his help. “What’s happening?”

He shakes his head. “I don’t know. We need to get off the lake.”

They move, hopping from ice floe to ice floe. Merrin catches sight of Cal and BD, Cal on his knees and reaching into the water. Merrin doesn’t have time to see what he’s doing, not when she and the man have to jump over a chunk of ice that has rolled onto its side. Turning to look again, she sees Cal dive into the water. Pulling her hand free from the man’s, she tells him to keep going.

“What are you doing?” he asks.

“I have to help my friend,” Merrin says. “He’s in the water!”

A look of unfathomable terror goes across the man’s face. “It’s too late.”

He flees without another word.

Confused now, Merrin no longer holds back. She teleports to where she last saw Cal, a terrible chill emanating from the water.

A chill and something else.

Something worse.

A presence.

Large.

Angry.

Cal resurfaces, BD on his back and a child in his arms. It’s the same child who’d leapt and twirled across the ice wish such ease earlier, only now they are limp and unconscious. Cal looks, spots Merrin, and thrusts the child at her. “Hurry,” he says, eyes narrowed with a particular focus Merrin recognises so well now. “There’s something in the water.”

Merrin grabs the child. She isn’t moving. She might not be breathing. Knowing Cal and BD can take care of themselves, Merrin teleports herself and the girl off the lake and onto dry land. People stare in shock.

“Help me!” Merrin shouts at them. “The girl needs you!”

A cry goes out and a woman rushes forward. Merrin senses the bond between woman and girl. Mother and daughter. “She’s not breathing!” the mother cries.

Merrin leans over, begins compressions. She senses Cere and Greez approach, but she doesn’t look up, not until the child coughs and stirs. Her mother wails with relief, scooping the child up.

“Thank you,” she says to Merrin. “Thank you so much.”

She dashes off, heading for local emergency workers racing their way. Merrin doesn’t see any stormtroopers. She sees Greez, puffed up, proud, and carrying Merrin’s boots. The sight almost makes her laugh. He hands them over. “You’re gonna need ‘em. Hurry.”

Grabbing them, Merrin wastes no time changing into them. Cere has already moved beyond them, blaster in her hand, headed to the edge of the lake. The water churns, waves slapping the banks.

Neither Cal nor BD are anywhere in sight. Merrin can’t see anyone else in the water too. The rink has nearly emptied out, only a few stragglers hanging around to stand and stare. Something else rings in her mind. That energy she’d felt earlier. The world’s industrious energy. It’s gone, replaced by something new. Something strange.

Whatever it is, she doesn’t have time to dwell. The water’s currents change, all the water pulled into the centre of the lake.

“It’s coming,” Cere says. She looks to Merrin, devoid of emotion. “Be ready.”

“Greez, get these people out of here,” Merrin says.

While Greez does as he’s told, pushing back a crowd of onlookers, Merrin joins Cere. Cere’s hand tightens around her blaster, finger on the trigger as water explodes into the sky. Merrin watches, her mouth dropping open, as three things emerge from the spray.

Cal.

BD.

And a creature out of a nightmare.

Grey and black, covered in thick scales, it resembles a snake, albeit one double the size of the Mantis with teeth as long as the ship is tall. Unlike a snake, it possesses four legs, each one bearing claws that could eviscerate any organic matter with a single swipe. It could probably grab the Mantis and eat it in one bite, and that thought clangs around Merrin’s mind when she watches a blue blade ignite. Cal flips around and lands on the monster’s back, scoring a lengthy wound in its scaly hide. The creature roars, its pain screaming through the Force.

Merrin can feel it, an untamed mind pushing at her own, pressing a sense of calm, of stillness, even as it shakes Cal off. He plummets again, BD’s boosters flaring as he tries to catch up. They’re going to hit the water, and the creature is already turning to go after them.

Merrin wonders if she should be more worried about that, but it all seems a bit far away now. She should just stand here. Stand here and enjoy the sights. She likes this world. It’s so pretty, and the sea is so vast, the mines so deep. What a lovely place this must be to live in.

Cere’s hands rise. She grabs Cal and BD with the Force, slowing their fall, but not enough. They both hit the water, because Cere’s pushing back against the creature, stopping it from diving into the lake.

“Get Cal and BD!” Cere shouts at Merrin, voice straining. “Hurry!”

“If you insist,” Merrin says, although she’s really not sure it’s necessary. She teleports from ice floe to ice floe, keeping her balance, reaching the spot where Cal and BD sank. BD appears first, shaking his head. Cal appears a moment later, looking dazed and frozen.

“We are going,” Merrin announces, grabbing both and teleporting back across the lake. She doesn’t hear either complain about their sudden movement. She doesn’t really hear much of anything except a song in her head that tells her peace, Merrin, be at peace. She reaches another patch of ice, right beside dry land where Cere’s shouting…

Merrin thinks she’s shouting. She can’t hear the words.

Peace, Merrin. Peace.

Something tugs on her arm. She pushes it off. Overhead, the creature resumes its fall, its mouth open wide, teeth splayed, its throat a blackhole.

It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay.

She closes her eyes.

Hands, cold and wet, ram against her. She hits the ground hard, a heavy weight falling on top of her. Water smacks into her, so cold she gasps with the shock of it.

The peace shatters.

The quiet too.

Footsteps. Fast.

Hands, grabbing.

“Merrin? Merrin!”

She blinks, looks up, sees the worry in Cere’s gaze. Why? What’s happening? Merrin looks around, finds herself on the ground beside the lake.

“What happened?” she asks.

Cere’s expression tells Merrin that was not the right thing to say. Heart sinking, worry mounting, Merrin tries to get up.

The heavy weight pins her down.

Cere leaves her line of sight. BD’s nearby – Merrin can hear him. He sounds worried. Why? What’s happening? Merrin’s head goes for a loop, pain seeping in. The weight moves, and she’s free to sit up. She does so, bracing herself as the vertigo keeps everything spinning. She breathes through the worst of it, and sees Cere leaning over Cal, fingers checking for a pulse, calling his name.

More footsteps approach, and this time it’s Greez with some locals dressed like medics.

Merrin decides she’s too tired to figure anything out. There’s an alarm sounding out in her head, but whatever’s causing it is lost behind the encroaching darkness. She falls back, only for four arms to catch her.

The last thing she sees is Greez leaning over her.

The last thing she hears is him telling her to stay with him, stay with –