#i will not go into any detail bc i don’t know if people wanna read that

[kyri45]

Hoi there!

You are so talented and creative. I love your art so much, the style is adorable ^^

I do have a few questions, as one creator to another. I don't post at the moment, but I do love making art, especially for my fanfic/original projects.

Can you tell me how you do it? Like how can you stay motivated and be able to post almost every day?

Any tips maybe on how to deal with artblocks and burnouts?

How do you pratice certain art styles and be able to do them accurately?

1. It’s because I really really REALLY like what I’m drawing right now. (gay monkies). Plus I have- an endgame lets say. I have a clear ending for my comics and reaching that point is what keeps me going, but I also ONLY draw what I want to draw, not EVERYTHING that needs to be shown for the endgame. This actually helped me go throught my ISAT AU comic.

It’s like- narrating a roadtrip. The ending is your destination, you can’t wait to arrive there, but first you know there’s a long road ahead. But you don’t actually need to describe/draw every single town / city / landscape to go there. Not every single kilometer of a roadtrip is a mouth-dropping view.

That’s why you can just-skip it. Stay 4 chapter at one diner if you like the set, focus a chapter on the protagonists looking at the stars, start a scene somewhere completely different, completely skip 30% of the road. As long as you can imply with details what was in between, you don’t need to show/write it in details if you feel it would be hard to make interesting, or just not your thing.

Also if you start to grow an audience and people ask you to draw/write certain things that you don’t feel like to, or just feel like they are extras, don’t do it.

Not because you can’t, but the MOMENT something that you create starts to feel like you are doing it for the audience, then you are not actually doing something yours, and from then on it’s gonna be harder and harder to do things. Like, I have hundreds of fanarts that I did on my IG that were mostly directed to my audience, and not something that I just did because of fun.

All of this is also- answering to your second question - for not burning out. All of this is for keeping your passion up. I’m not talking about mental or physical energy. You could be dead tired (like I am many times) but still be fueled do draw for hours. Because you’re drawing only exactly what you want.

It took me 4 years to understand. I used to do this in high school. Draw something just for the hell of it. It was harder back then, because drawing was hard. I arrived to a point where drawing is much easier (also cause I draw almost everyday for 6/8 hours.) and after I was healed from my broken arm this july, it became my drug. I understood I can’t live without drawing what’s in my head, and that (unless it’s specifically for work) I don’t wanna draw something that’s not only what I want.

I want you to arrive to the point that your drawings / fanfictions are so much exactly what you envisioned /wanted that you fangirl about them. That you read/watch them and squeak in delight. Because even if no one likes them, you must be crazy about them.

(I’ll make a post about this in the future, because it literally changed how I draw after years and it brought back my passion for art after 10 years, but rn it’s a little late and I wanna draw my LMK au so I’ll stop now)

3. I keep some reference to look at every now and then. I also draw a L O T. ( a ton shit of things that I draw are not posted anywhere bc of work)

[vacantgodling]

tl;dr i need help paying rent and health insurance this month. with the money from my recent paycheck, all i need is $263 (usd) to cover these expenses.

i hate to ask for money all the time but idk what else to do.

this month (august) was supposed to be great for getting my finances in order. i would be getting paid 3x, and i had a system that worked.

unfortunately things didn’t work out that way. this month has been the worst month this entire year:

the main issue is i caught covid (after 4 years of never having it once, i succumbed to people’s uselessness and having to go in person to work) and that kept me out of work for a week. the mini vacation was “nice” because my symptoms weren’t too bad, but the looming fear that i wouldn’t have enough for rent has now reared its head.

the week before, i already took 2 days off because my partner was informed their abusive father had been diagnosed with stage 4 cancer and that sent them spiraling. he hasn’t kicked the bucket yet (ig cockroaches don’t die easily), but from what they said that week they thought he would pass by that sunday.

this past wednesday, the stress of their not so great extended family reaching out + grappling with this ended up with my partner having to go to the hospital for (tw) excessive vomiting—unable to keep water down and extremely dizzy. we were discharged that night thankfully once things calmed down and they are technically fine, just still resting and trying to slowly get back to eating normally. the drs weren’t able to determine what caused any of that to occur, but our current theory is just stress and not eating enough so stomach rebellion. i had to miss 4 hours of work to take them to the hospital so, my next paycheck is also gonna be short but not too terrible overall. i’m not really worried about it.

i don’t want to bore you all to death with all the details of all my other debts and struggles that i’m dealing with rn. i just want to illustrate how this week just fucked me over really badly. i’m currently the only one working between us bc my partner is disabled (and got denied disability for them last week so cool cool. love this country love it here).

and if it helps you feel more inclined to donate to me i’m black, queer, and transmasculine. marginalization bingo etc etc.

if you can’t spare anything i understand, i know we’re all broke and struggling and there’s other causes that are definitely more pressing. this isn’t a matter of life and death. just would really help to not have to get screwed over by this.

i offer commissions so if you wanna check my ko-fi -> https://ko-fi.com/vacantgodling/commissions

(just know there’s a small of a list rn, i haven’t been drawing as much as i need to for the commissions i do currently have and i’m sorry for that i’ve just been stressed out. thanks to everyone who’s ordered for their patience i’ll be getting to stuff as soon as i can)

but if you’d like to just donate to my paypal -> https://www.paypal.me/pinkpurgatory

if you don’t have anything to spare (which again, totally fine) please spread this around if you can i’d appreciate it.

thanks for reading and i hope you have a good day 💛

[luffyvace]

SHOTO HCS FOR HIS DAY

THIS GIF IS SO CLEANNN 🤩 ANYWAY TODAY BABY SHOTO CAME INTO THIS WORLD AND WE GON TURN UP WITH SOME HCS‼️‼️

#turn up w shotoooo🤪

At the beginning of your relationship it was definitely giving awkward phase..

but don’t worry it definitely won’t stay like that forever

but for now he’s doing little gestures he knows you’d like

buying tickets/seats to any concert/movie you said was your favorite

Anime cons too

he likes to share his soba with you

yes typical, but he’s not self absorbed or anything, so if you want to share ‘okay!’

if not he will bring snacks he knows you’d like to school and give it to you during lunch

he likes to hang out in your dorm a lot

it gives him a warm sense of home

very comforting to him

he doesn’t really know what to do much in relationships but the amount of effort, time, thought and care he puts into it makes him seem so knowledgeable about them??

like shoto I thought you said you’ve never been in a relationship before?? 🤨

tbh the awkward phase doesn’t necessarily seem awkward it’s just, a lot of your time is spent in silence or quiet chit chatting

I mean unless your a extrovert who likes to talk

after you get out that phase though

he starts to be more confident

he likes to trace your hands (and face, in private)

he will kiss your knuckles, not because someone told him it was romantic, but because he really likes your hands

Soft, big, small, rough, long, short, slim, chubby, vieny, bro he just likes your hands!!

he doesn’t break eye contact much either

this might have intimidated you at first because he has a strong gaze (or maybe it didn’t)

but it’s more so of him observing every detail of your face

if feel like if shoto spoke his mind a little more he would be sooo romantic

like instead of the conversation going

“uhh need something shoto? You’ve been staring at me for a while”

“oh nothing I’m just observing your every feature so that even when I close my eyes I can remember the way whatever god that created you sculpted your ethereal face.”

it’s going

“Uhh yeah? Your staring, why? 😅”

”oh” *looks away*

LIKE WHAT??

that difference is TOO huge 🤦‍♀️

random

You love the way shoto softly smiles around you

it makes you feel special

btw shoto probably won’t introduce you to his family for quite a bit of time for two reasons

1: he doesn’t wanna get you involved with his mess

2: if you two don’t work out he doesn’t want his business on the streets

now of course he trusts you but you can never be to cautious, he doesn’t go around blabbing his business, why would he want you to??

the solidarity silence is real

like, he could be reading as your working on homework with music playing in the background

Maybe you occasionally ask him for help on some questions

and he occasionally sips some tea momo made

speaking of which momo is your biggest supporter

along with izuku

shoto likes to go to the beach either really early or really late for two reasons

1: not many people are there

2: you get to watch the sunrise/sunset together

3: he likes the feeling of walking on sand

And yes I said two and added a third one bc he really likes the beach

I’m gonna make the other half of these hcs about his day bc it is! <3

so all of class 1A gets up early everyday, weeks before shoto’s big day to start planning :)

you get up early and others start working on the decorations, others buy gifts and needed things, y’all even buy him a outfit!!

and your going all out because you told everyone shoto told you he never celebrated bc of his past :(

so your bigging it up this year!!

you bought him a soba maker to store in his dorm<3

and yes it was very expensive bc it’s high quality!!

it’s so worth it for him tho

everyone’s gift varies depending on what they bond with him on

although shoto is kinda to himself so you had to help out some people but that’s okay

some people set things up, others wrap gifts, another making a card, ironing his outfit, etc! Bright and early on his big day!

when he gets up that day he’s truly in shock

he doesn’t know what to say

”…….you guys planned this?”

he figures your the main instigator since he told you

and he was right :)

first you planned the amazing breakfast momo made for him, it was delicious

next you guys went rolled skating

then you all went out for lunch

after you guys came home and opened gifts, along with a party you invited friends to, such as class 1B, shiketsu, etc everyone! 💓

lastly you all eat dinner (soba) & party til midnight before hitting the hay ♥︎

and man I summed it up a lot bc it was epic!!

there were so many funny moments and you can bet Mina recorded every second of it!!

She sent it to the group chat and shoto saved it

he looks at it quite often

It was a ”brings tears to my eyes” experience for him 💖💖

He’s so happy about it, and he tells you all about how happy it made him, opening up to you even more as you cuddle in bed late that night

💛

ABSOLUTELY ADORABLE ENDING IM SO GLAD I WROTE THIS!!

I’m gonna try not to miss too many anime character’s days but i can’t guarantee..LOL!

[spaceshipellie]

tlou x ethel cain requests ༊*·˚

this is just a little something to say thank you to everyone who reads and supports my stuff as it means a lot 🩷 i’ve seen a few people do lyric requests and it looks fun so i wanted to do my own. it’s all ethel cain just bc i wanted to have a theme and i love her

send me:

a character (ellie, abby, or dina)

a lyric from the choices below

if you want it to be fluff, smut, or angst

if you want it to be modern au or tlou au

any extra details you want - the more the better!

all requests will be less than 1k words

lyrics:

❥ and it hurts to miss you, but it's worse to know, that I'm the reason, you won't come home

❥ i didn't trust no one but you said “baby, don't run, I'll take you anywhere"

❥ show me how much I mean to you, while I'm lying in these sheets undressed

❥ trouble's always gonna find you baby, but so will I

❥ i never blamed you for loving me the way that you did

❥ baby, if it feels good then it can't be bad

❥ i owe you a black eye and two kisses

❥ i thought that you were so beautiful, it was love, i guess

❥ something they all want that only you can have

❥ you wanna love me right now, you wanna get alone with me

❥ don’t talk to strangers or you might fall in love

❥ we all know how it goes, the more it hurts the less it shows

❥ i know i don’t need you, but i’m terrified of letting you go

❥ you have tasted love and it tasted sweet

❥ call me what you want and i’ll be that

❥ and home’s not home unless you’re there

❥ please don’t love how i need you

❥ is there someone who has your heart, that keeps you gone, away from me?

thank you again darlings 🫶🏼 (pls send some lol)

[miuszn]

Ok i Just found my new fav writer 🤍so i NEED to ask this ( do It only if you want)

What about an ellie x fem!reader where they go out on Patrol ,they run into a lot of zombies of every type , ellie gets bit and reader sees It so now ellie needs to explain the whole immunity thing and reader believes her ,

They go back to Jackson where Joel (lets Say he skipped golf lessons this time) finds out and freaks out and gets mad at ellie cause She wasnt supposed to tell anyone so he wants ellie to break up with reader but ellie doesnt want to so they fight and ellie goes back to reader for comfort

Its up to you if Joel and ellie fix this whole argument thing

(also Sorry if my english Is perfect🤍)

hiii anon <33 first of all i’m so honored u consider me ur fav writer i never expected to get so much love from the community so fast im rlly grateful to all of u hehe <33 . anyway , i rlly love ur idea !! i decided to write a short drabble instead because i’m working on another fic but i still wanna post some stuff while i’m working on that , hope ur fine w that 🥹🩷 ( note : this is an alternate universe where ellie already forgave joel and they were starting to fix their relationship .. also this might be kinda ooc especially joel bc i’ve never written him before eheh )

— 𓆩♥︎𓆪 —

you weren’t sure how it happened. you were only gone for a second, you swore, and somehow ellie got bit. you knew it was a bad idea to leave her in a room full of clickers, but you knew she was strong and should’ve been able to clear them out with ease. the second you saw the small bite mark on her hand, you realized what had happened. your heart sank. in a panic, you burst into tears and kept apologizing over and over for about 15 minutes until ellie was able to calm you down and explained to you that she’s immune, leaving out the details of the whole situation with joel and the fireflies. of course, you didn’t believe her. it seemed ridiculous. how the hell would someone be immune and not be out there in some lab being researched or whatever, like in movies?

it took you a while to believe her, but eventually, you did. you helped wrap her hand with bandages so no one would see the note mark, because the less people knew, the better.

you were distraught for the rest of the day. you felt horrible. she kept telling you there’s no need to keep apologizing, but you still felt the need to. what if that had been someone else? what if ellie wasn’t immune? how the hell was she immune in the first place? so many questions ran through your head.

later that night, you laid awake still thinking about today. you were disappointed with yourself for what you did, yet still so confused.

you heard some knocking on your window, and looked out to see ellie. you opened your window and let her in. she sat on your bed next to you.

“what’re you doing here?” you asked.

“just wanted to check on you,” she replied, “and. uh. joel’s kinda mad.”

you were confused. you wondered how he even found out, but it’s like she read your mind and answered.

“i told him about what happened today. just casually. and he completely lost it.”

— 𓆩♥︎𓆪 —

“i can’t believe that girl let you get bit.” joel wasn’t even looking ellie in the eye. he was extremely disappointed in both of you.

“it wasn’t her fuckin’ fault, joel! i didn’t think anything bad would happen either! if you’re gonna blame anyone, blame me-“

“i’m blamin’ the both of you! what the fuck did you think was gonna happen back there? leaving you in a room full of clickers to fend for yourself? now one more person knows about you bien’ immune and all. god knows if she can even keep a secret.”

“what the fuck makes you think shes just gonna tell everyone? she’s not like that at all. why the hell are you acting like you don’t know that-“

“why the hell are you actin’ like that girl’s any good for you? all she does is get you into trouble.”

ellie went silent. she was shocked at how different he was acting. all this time he had been so nice to you, not once showing a sign of not trusting you or disliking you. she was conflicted, and in the heat of the moment, she just turned around and left, fuming with anger. she was starting to wonder if joel was actually right, but realized that was such a stupid thought. the worst part is, she wasn’t even sure if he meant it. now she didn’t know what to do. just as they were starting to fix things, life threw another curveball at them.

— 𓆩♥︎𓆪 —

you were hurt by what ellie was saying. his words just further fueled the thoughts in the back of your mind saying that this was all your fault. but ellie realized this and tried her best to comfort you. she kept saying it wasn’t your fault, that she fucked up too, that she’s sure he didn’t mean it and he was just angry. while you were hurt by his words, that wasn’t your main concern. you thought about how this incident just further damaged their already broken bond that they’ve been trying to fix these days. you felt like because of you, all that progress was thrown away in less than 24 hours. and it was an ugly feeling. you felt even worse than you did before, and you didn’t know what to do.

“ellie..” you placed your hand on hers, “i’m sorry.” you started to tear up.

“hey..” she pulled you close and hugged you.

“it’s just.. i don’t know what exactly happened with you and joel. you don’t have to tell me. and everything is getting better now and i’m just scared i’ve ruined it and i just-“

“hey,” she interrupted you, “don’t worry about that, okay? it’s not your fault. i’ll.. i’ll figure it out. you don’t have to worry about me and joel. we’ll be fine.”

“are you going to forgive him for it?”

“i’m not sure,” she sighed. “if he didn’t mean it, maybe. but if he did, i doubt i can.”

“i don’t want you to lose progress with him just because of me..”

“we’ll be fine. please.. just.. stop worrying, okay?”

you nodded hesitantly.

while the guilt of possibly extending the process of ellie’s forgiveness of joel would continue to exist within you, at least for as long as it took her to finally reconcile with him, you were grateful to have her by your side. and you were sure to be with her every step of the way.

[ideasarestuckinmyhead]

Seeing as how you don’t mind doing research I would like to request hc’s for Alphonse, Auron, Seth, and Lucien playing splatoon 3 with the listener (if you need more specifics like if they’re playing single player or multi player, dlc or base game or anyother details that could help you pls let me know!) :D

Splatoon!

Hope I did good! I really did like the lore I read it was interesting and makes me wanna play splatoon! I think I based this more on the base game?

Auron

I think he's really curious about the lore of the game (I read it, it was really interesting how the squid and octarian's evolution went) So he enjoy's the story mode. Will ask questions about some of the lore so he knows everything.

Since you can't play multiplayer for story mode he'd probably buy a nintendo to play with you. The game play looks really interesting and the characters too are very well written.

When he first played turf war he understood it quickly and mostly focused on covering the map with the color of your team. But if someone did try and fight him he learned how to defeat them quickly.

I can see him liking playing splatoon with you but only sometimes bc he is busy and isn't fully interesting in games. However if you do ask him to play he won't say no.

Seth

Really confused on what to do when playing because he doesn't really play a lot of games. But tries to learn how to play with you, but I feel like Seth would prefer slow pace Nintendo games like how he likes Animal crossing.

Probably would prefer to watch you play story mode, I feel like he'd prefer to watch you game then actually play the game. Since he doesn't know wtf he's doing he prefers to watch someone who does.

If you do ever get him a switch and the game he'll play it till he gets to a good point to play multiplayer with you. I can see him liking tower mode, where you try and move a tower into the enemy territory the farthest.

I feel like after a while when he gets the hang of the game he'd play it himself. Kinda like how he took over Al's island. Is also willing if he has time to play any of the game modes you want to play.

Lucien

No fucking clue wtf is going on but he loves it here. The character's look silly and he likes how he can customize his avatar. It looks so chaotic bc he can't decide wtf he wants it to look like.

Doesn't really care for the story mode, but will listen to you explain the lore to him. Will he remember it? Probably not but its the thought of him trying to understand that makes it nice.

Some how summons a Nintendo? Don't ask question he can play w you now! Since he's learning all the modes and other things he doesn't really have a favorite mode. As long as you guys win he doesn't really care.

Lowkey got addicted to the game bc he was playing so many modes and stuff. Some how go to a very high level in the span of a week? Someone get that switch OUT of his hand.

Alphonse

Look at these colorful guys! What even are they? Asks a lot of questions bc he want's to understand the best he could.

Lazer focused in when playing the story mode bc he want's you to see how he is trying. Yes, Al did get some of the lore confused but he likes playing and talking about the game with you!

He's kinda chaotic to play with in game modes bc he's competitive. I feel like he plays aggressive in turf war fighting people and adding more to the ink coverage for the team.

He's really happy you introduced him to the game bc it's really fun! Also for giggles I would think he's good at clam blitz bc he's collecting so many fucking clams. Al cackles as he destroys the other team's clam basket.

[eddiediazismyhusband]

Can I ask you to list a couple things you do like about the show? Or the actors? Or the characters? Or heck anything 911 related? Because it seems like you and your other anons don’t like anything to do with any aspect of it at all from the writers down to the smallest of storyline details 😅

which at that point is probably a good time to step back and stop engaging with it either temporarily or permanently since all it’s gonna do is continue to feed into the negativity your having over it since nothing seems to be bringing you joy about it.

can yall not read? like seriously can yall not read the words when i say “i am not goign to watch season 8 until something good happens”

i feel like a goddamn parrot on here when people like you keep coming into my inbox with this same fucking “maybe you should step back” thing like yeah that’s what i have been fucking saying????

im not going to stop interacting with my friends on here- that’s out of the question. i still love being involved in the fanfic community and i still love the first 5 seasons of the show, but im not going to lie and say that i have been pleased with the most recent installments. if you actually took the time to read my blog and what i talk about you would see that i adore eddie and his queer subtext. i adore buddie as a ship, probably to a crazy degree. i love henren, and bathena, and madney. josh russo is literally one if my favorite canonically queer characters on tv.

i adore this cast with the exception of the talentless nepo baby half the fandom wanna suck the dick of (god knows why other than he’s a fugly white man who kissed their favorite white boy) i love seeing them interact with each other outside of the show.

can i ask you what the writers have given us to actually enjoy the past two seasons? other than the madney wedding? nothing else has been decently written, or taken the story in a positive direction. yeah, we got bi buck but he’s in a relationship with a literal misogynistic racist man who has had repeatedly treated buck horribly with no acknowledgement whatsoever. so no, i don’t like the writers or tim minear at the moment because they have had every opportunity to usher in something positive for eddie, but no bc tim “this show is a drama” minear would rather give the happy plots to his white characters while running his poc characters through more unnecessary trauma and pain (with the exception of chimney, although his happy plotline only happened after he was near-fatally sick an entire episode and bobby whose plotline was centered around a black man’s trauma being dug up and thrown in his face)

the earlier season of this show were such a joy to watch live when it felt like there was actually care going into it from the showrunners and writing team, but lately it’s just them throwing darts at whatever wack-ass drama plot they can think of.

this cast works too fucking hard for the vapid shit they get given to act out each week.

which is why i (once again, in case you were about to gloss over this) I AM NOT WATCHING SEASON EIGHT UNTIL SOMETHING IS DONE TO FIX THE MESS THEY MADE

perhaps writing it in bold, italicized caps will make it easier for you to get it through your head.

and as far as “my anons” if you actually had enough confidence in your message, then why are you hiding behind anon, hm?

i have said multiple times i love interracting with my friends and fandom content that doesn’t have to do with spec. i have said multiple times im holding off on season 8. i have never said i hate the cast or i hate every single plotline the show has ever had, but you know what i did hate? how s6 and s7 turned the show into a fucking ooc mess. it is within my rights as a fan to dislike a season of a show for valid reasons.

what’s not okay is you coming into my inbox repeatedly saying “take a break” when i’ve said multiple fucking times that i plan to rather than just blocking me if youre so offended by people agreeing with me that the show is at a make it or break it point.

please kindly take yourself out of my space if you’re not going to actually take the time to read the words i post and just immediately send me anonymous hate because you didn’t like my posts

[askamnesiamoonjumper]

uhhhh. how about alpine thoughts? or how your alpine lore works?

CRACKS KNUCKLES. I’m not proof reading any of this btw ok unfiltered yapping session GO

ok not gonna go too deep into it bc the next chapter is big alpine lore related so it would basically just be redundant but I can still just jot down some general hc stuff that I think will be explained in story but still just wanna have fun jotting down :3👍

-Ok so. Bc the twilight travels rift (that’s the name right??? The twigoat statue/bell one? That) has the three colored bells/statues (red blue and yellow) my thought was the bell might have been made by three people? Or goats in this case I suppose lol, haven’t thought much beyond just some kind of sorcerer/mage group of some kind, that’s basically it, not thought super hard on it beyond that but we’ll get there when we get there ig

-Accession/twilight spirits are essentially like the opposite of ghosts !! Even though they look similar I think they are actually more similar to mj, in that they still have their bodies. But for twi spirits it’s because they are basically frozen/immortal and NOT dead. As I said they are opposites, life and death and all that. The way they form is the same as corruption BUT the difference is they are calm/control their emotion/can accept the magic from their soul, where as corruption is rejecting it/being overwhelmed by it. I think a good example of this is in the prologue it was shown that snatcher makes flowers/plants wilt but twilight spirits have their whole flower thing going on yk? You get the idea

-the alps and subcon I think would be close/trade often!! (I think this got mentioned in the prologue Iirc?)

-Delilah’s mothers side of her family live in alpine while her fathers side of the family lives in subcon, hence she vaguely mentions it in fic a few times (but I also think she also clumped lotus in with her family too but more so to use as an excuse to not be super detailed abt her alp trips) (oh yeah uh if u don’t know Lotus is my TG follower twilight spirit goat oc who is dels guardian! :3)

-the bell isn’t supposed to ACTUALLY lead to the twilight realm, it’s more so meant to just a window/peek at what it’s like, …meant being the key word here (hence Hattie’s in game diary mentioning she thinks she wasn’t supposed to be there) probably gonna slip in some lore about it being under a spell/enchantment of some kind? Maybe only people tied to magic or the twilights specifically can enter, weither it be literal as in knowing TG/Lotus or following them, or more metaphorically like hat being from space counted her? Shrugs I’ll think on it a little more later ig all I know is if you got magic or ties to it you can go to the astral plane directly yayyyy :3👍 fun!!! I love going to the disorienting space afterlife for a visit it’s just an average Tuesday for me it’s fine dw about it

-twigoat religion/following is based more so on Buddhism/concepts of nirvana in my head, like there isn’t an underworld or hell or anything it’s all just one place, but TG isn’t actually a god or anything it’s like the game lore they were just a regular mortal goat who decided to protect the astral plane/watch over it after becoming a twilight spirit/traveling to the bell.

-Design detail is all twilight followers wear silver bells! :3 but NOT gold bc that’s basically saying they are doing it wrong/don’t care. (Examples of this: TG, Lotus, Dels, shady sunburnt, Rei (gold), shapes later/timeskip specifically for a different twilight character later that I’m not spoiling rn, and also party crasher has gold bells but not so much for twilight lore reasons but changeling council lore reasons which I’m not spoiling here sorry womp womp)

-I feel like believing in the twilight realm VS following the twilight goat are like separate things? Just bc the actual astral plane is a concept while TG is a person/religious figure so like most characters would know of or believe in the astral plane but not all of those characters actually follow TG youknow? Having proof of an afterlife basically means beleif in that plane isn’t part of the religion but following the religions morals/teachings IS if that makes sense???? hopefully u get the idea.. lol

-Lotus is TGs follower > dels was Lotus’s Follower > so I think @twipsai s oc zebu would be dels follower :3 (like I think they’d just be a reference and not an actual character in aau but idc I’d still kill for a!zebu <3 love that thing)

Uhhhhh I think that’s all bc my other hcs i think of either bleed into spoilers or I’m already gonna bring em up in the next chap sooooo yayyy :D👍

[star-girl69]

do you have any writing advice? i wanna write fanfics and stuff like all the people i follow on tumblr but i start writing and just delete everything i've written :(

i do!!!!! i posted some basic writing tips so long ago… i’ll link them here

the best advice i could ever give someone is make sure you know your grammar, don’t force yourself to write, and show don’t tell!

idk just read my writing tips bc i go into more detail there 😭

if you have any specific questions feel free to send another ask or pm me!

[thxnks4themrms]

Littleeee rant about a news story I found about animal abuse under the cut

tw mentions of animal abuse, animal neglect, animal harm, and mentions of animal death

Okay so like idfk if yall have seen, but recently there’s been a story going around about a girl in her early 30s neglecting a cat of 10 years

So like basically the story ig is that she got her cat when she was 24 bc she was just desperate and lonely and then when she got to 30 and met her husband or something. Her cat took a disliking to the husband and the chick didn’t like that but it gets really bad after the lady gives birth. So the lady gives birth and whatever else and because of that postpartum, shit she’s like all upset with the cat and just overall finds the cat annoying and is putting her husband and her baby first. Overtime she really really gets annoyed with it and starts neglecting. She starts like going into detail about how she’d want to kick it (or kicked it I forgot), not feed it so it’d have to find anything to eat which resulted in it eating houseplants, and literally forget to put water in its water bowl so it had to drink out of the fucking toilet. She then went into detail about how she’d want the cat to just die and that’d she’d try to do things to lead it to its death

I might’ve skipped over some parts but I kinda just wanna rant about how like that’s a highkey really selfish thing to do. First of all, at her GROWN ASS AGE OF 34 she should know better than to do that. Animals are literally living organism just like humans with hearts and brains and pretty much the same muscles/intestines/organs as us (as far as ik) so they’re not some fucking doll. I feel like most animal abuse cases are because of people wanting a pet just because they feel like it but don’t consider long term things. You can’t just treat it like a toy because it literally is not and that’s a truth that sadly a lot of people don’t understand. I understand that the girl just gave birth and all and ik that’s tiring and shit and I don’t wanna be on her ass especially after carrying a whole ass person but dude there’s your husband who can take care of it as well. I don’t understand how you forget to feed and give your pet water when they need it just as much as you do. Tbh I don’t know how she even lives with the guilt of knowing she put her baby first over her older cat. Ik I say this a lot but one of my biggest fears is death - ig for me it’s like the pain that comes from it but if I really start to think of it Ik that once I’m dead I’m not gonna feel anything so ig it’s just the pain that comes before it. Death of my pets though is such a sensitive topic for me cause I just wanna keep them for as long as I can because ik that they’re not gonna be here forever and that I’m practically their entire lives. If you can’t take care of an animal, especially a cat, then how in gods fucking name do you think you’ll be able to take care of a fucking child. If you can’t take care of an animal you don’t leave it to die or lead it to its death, you take it to a fucking shelter. I’d rather it be adopted and taken care of with a different family for however longer it has left than to be found dead all because you got tired of it

Anyways chat sorry for ranting I just got really sick thinking about this and like I just find that subject to be really upsetting and gross and I just needed to yap about it somewhere

I lowkey forgot the name of the cat and other stuff so sorry that I’m referring to it as “it” 😭

Um also there’s like a ton of articles about it but I can’t find any that are free if you don’t have a subscription to the news company but you can check on TikTok cuz there’s like a ton of ss and the full story there so I’d totally read it

[idk-i-just-really-like-tsc]

anyway here’s my two cents on who’s making the cut for these 10 shadowhunter romance stories!! (See Cassandra Clare’s latest announcement about better in black)

tid: idk i feel like this could be a rogue Sophie/gideon or cecily/Gabriel moment. or wessa with jem existing too. who really knows but all of the above i would enjoy <3

tlh: um maybe hopefully plz thomas and Alastair we barely got to see them actually be a couple I feel like so that would be fun. I would also love a luciejesse or herondaisy moment <3

tmi: um well OBVIOUSLY this is what I’m most excited for because i have a normal attatchment to the characters of the mortal instruments. ANYWAY i want sizzys proposal in full detail. we got the clace and the malec ones give them the lovely proposal that i deserve to read. pay them RESPECT. i would also looooove a clace story like any at all. i love and miss them dearly. I would also love a malec story with the kids bc we have literally hardly seen into their family life after they got Rafael but maybe that’s what tec3 is for idk cassandra doesn’t acknowledge its existence. but also if they’ve had two books I’m not exactly sure if she’s writing more about them. DO NOT GET ME WRONG!!! I would loooooove more malec content im not an IDIOT but like idk. but also they’re fan favorites so i just don’t know. im trying to see into cassandra’s mind and it’s not working. i would also actually drop dead to the floor and cease to exist if it was centered around the tmi gang as a whole going on a date night all together triple date moment!!! THATS what i want but i think that’s a bit idk it’s j not gonna happen. unfortunately for me. whatever ill take what i can get and reread the brunch story. I love the brunch story.

tda: well Cassandra’s use of the word throuple makes me assume it’s a safe bet to think one of them will be kierarktina but there’s also the delusional thought that she’s talking about herongraystairs. so idk abt that but yeah kierartina. a Diana and Gwyn moment would also be like somewhat shocking but fun and fresh. idk there’s not that many tda couples tbh. emma and Julian already got their moment in sobh and i don’t wanna read about them so I’m hoping it’s not them. idk

misc: the thing is i feel like this project is very ambiguous bc the theme is just live and romance so it could be anything like people who were never officially couples. unrequited love is fun. kit and ty moment. but also they’re the focus of twp so im just not gonna go there and Cassie may not either. i was also thinking abt this and a malcolm and annabelle story would be reallyyy interesting. also they don’t really fit into one specific series but they’re around in tec,tmi and tda bc they’re awesome i would LOVE a Helen and aline centered story like tell me about their time on wrangel island because we know next to nothing about that seemingly important place and what the hell goes on there. and helen and aline get fuck all in these books. anyway. that’d be a good time. also like. she said there may be some spice . but like i want love confessions and silly goofy character moments and actual stories not just characters going at it yk. so liek what are the vibes here cassandra…

this post got really fucking long for no reason feel free to leave YOUR thoughts on what you want to see in these stories <3

[wyvernest]

hi!! i LOVE your work and i really really hope this doesn’t come off rude. so i see your stories all the time and they’re all SOOOOOO FUCKING GOOD but there’s one problem i seem to have in almost every story of yours i read.

you tend to reference skin color, usually a white person obviously and it makes me not even wanna read the rest cus it’s so jarring; the way it sucks me (and any other person of color) out of the story. so i sent this kinda as a psa? i’m sure you don’t do it on purpose! i was hoping you could just be a bit more aware when writing <3

its not rude at all!! thank u for telling me about this 1. im not really sure what specific words i used reference skin color (bcs i avoid things like 'pale' etc) but im not saying you're wrong. if you could please educate me on the certain phrases that slipped past me so i can remember not to use them next time, it would be greatly appreciated<3

2. as an explanation, most of the fics i post originate from really old docs drafts i have from the time i thought i was never going to post them, so its very likely that i was way more self-indulgent then than i would've been knowing other people will read my stories too; and that self indulgence includes hinting at a skin color or a body type, sadly

3. while i still am quite self indulgent with my writing, my own skin color is definitely not a detail i need to include in my fics in order for them to still be relatable enough to me. i would hate to know that poc's don't feel comfortable reading my fics just because of something i missed when beta reading them / something i didn't know could reference a certain skin color

[csvent-2]

BOY do I have a story for you. Okay. Lets talk Nyudoodles, Howltars and Liowlets. Going straight to the point (ASK ME QUESTIONS FOR CLARIFICATION BC I CANT WORD THINGS CORRECTLY) 1. I was immediately banned/blacklisted from Nyudoodles bc I apparently was “block evading” according to one of the mods WITHOUT any evidence other than my account not having enough ocs or art (I already explained to them why I didn’t have many mind you tho I understand wanting to be safe as I have BEEN stalked before esp irl.) number 2. Blocked from Liowlets bc apparently I “made artists uncomfortable” and tht there was a “beware public post” about me. I’m like.. HUH?! Am I that known? Btch I’m in no way shape or form known or a popular artist 💀 where is this coming from? I asked the mod if it’s bc of ‘that’ mod that blacklisted me from Nyudoodles they said they have NO idea who that is and etc etc yada yada (I won’t say their name for now(the mod from Nyudoodles, they’re also in Howltars, but unless you want me to say the nams. They’re popular as an artist has cute designs.) 3. Banned from Howltars. One day I go on discord and then see that I’ve been banned?? It says bc I “impersonated” you guessed WHO that mod. It’s always been that one mod from Nyudoodles. I asked the owner Nyudex what happened. They began to show me sc of.. apparently the “public post” ab me WITHOUT revealing the name. And it looks like it’s from Amino or something? (Probably the same mod as they’ve always had a problem with me.) Next an instagram account of someone impersonating the mod AND screenshots of the mod from Liowlets and the chat we had. Now.. I was banned from Howltars bc of “impersonation, harassment?? And apparently block evading.” I’m now here realizing I am not the problem, since reading that the Nyudoodles staff go at each others throats, get jealous over others designs, ripoff designs and are toxic in general PLUS I’ve read somewhere that a guest artist/used to be mod(s) have mentioned their experiences with the staff overall and they were stressed and etc. (will not mention them incase ya’ll try to come after them smh for “outing” you out.”) This has been my experience with these 3 overall. I wouldn’t be surprised of how many people either hate, dislike or come after them as there’s been a LOT of people blacklisted for no reason at all other than coincidences, wording, bidding lower, edited comments on bids, people who are busy and can’t reply yet etc etc. if there’s any questions bc you wanna clarify lmk. I didn’t share all the details. But fr I would advise staying away from them. They treated me like I’m not a person. I even shared why it’s unfair they did what they did esp since there’s 0 evidence of anything other than wording. Which shows and means nothing. Oh also. That mod that one mod (and possibly their friends) is STILL trying to search for something, anything to link me as the person from their blacklist, but they’re like “yoUrE obSeSsed wiTh tHem” according to what Nyudex said to me. I’m like.. again HUH?! Btch I barely know your mod friend! We’ve never interacted or talked, plss they won’t even talk to me to clear things up lmfao. I asked if it’s possible to talk but nop. Gurly wants to keep living in delulu land. In no way, shape or form am I obsessed with them but I can see how you’re projecting on me bc you want to find some type of evidence that I’m the person from your blacklist. Oh and if they read this broo. You are projecting and I figured it out, clear as day. You’re projecting your literal fear and possibly guilt and don’t wanna accept that YOURE the problem and that you’re wrong. You keep coming after me, keeping an eye on me AND try to sneak friends in servers that I’m in to keep an eye on me. Or they’re sneaking for you. Smh. Telling others to grow up when you’re not acting grown sis.

🌸

[fireheartpages]

iii. the hatred of a minute | m.m.

series masterlist

summary: long nights begin being crowded by things you don't want to see materialize, after your legal battle runs its course. the question stands: can you fight your way out of this one? or will you finally fall?

playlist: permit the righteous to be moved | m.m.

word count: 3.6k

rating: 18+, swf, canon typical violence with a slight trigger warning for assault/SA (latter only mentioned in a medical sense), slight she-hulk spoilers

a/n: (playlist starts after if i'm being honest) this quote comes from an edgar allen poe passage, "years of love have been forgot, in the hatred of a minute." hello all! i know it's been like nine months since my last chapter and honestly i shouldn't promise any more consistent updates lmfao. i've moved twice (once cross country) since my past chapter and i'm moving out of state again in like two weeks. so life has been unreasonably crazy lately, but i watched she-hulk and when she said the accords were revoked i was like are you fr rn bc so much of this fic's plot was in fact based around the accords but also i hadn't been writing bc i didn't know what i wanted to so with it so honestly that little tweak in canon made me wanna overhaul the plot and start writing again so here i am!! this is still the bare bones of where i had planned on going with the series but with some changes so that i'll actually be invested in writing it lol and i hope y'all will be invested in reading it!! also shout out to the three people in my notes who reblogged the first two chapters like two days ago that finally made me start writing, yall are awesome. this is for u. (and she-hulk) (oh yeah also matt in she-hulk!! sexy af)

March 2024

Matt could smell your hangover.

Every inch of you was drenched in sweat and vodka and sick. You stumbled into the office of Nelson, Murdock, and Page a little after eleven, half reeling, and rendering Matt more than a little concerned. Foggy met you as you made it in the door, helping you to the small couch next to his desk.

“What the hell happened to you?” Foggy asked, tossing Matt a water bottle to hand to you.

“Have you seen, like, literally any public media source?”

Matt hummed, leaning against the desk across from you. “I did. Imagined you’d take it about this well, too.”

“Thought you couldn’t see, Murdock.”

Matt chuckled. “Good to know your humor’s still in tact.” He unscrewed the bottle an handed it to you. You took it, taking a long sip, then pressing your head to the back of the couch.

“How does, like, the law work?” you asked. “Can I sue? I wanna sue, or something. Get that asshole to put his shield down.”

Foggy laughed sympathetically, walking around to take a seat. He’d told Matt you would be coming in today only about an hour ago, detailing the phone call he’d had with Bucky Barnes. Apparently he’d fished around your purse until he found Foggy’s business card and called, asking if you could come in. Neither of them knew what the topic of your visit was, but after last night’s news spectacle, it wasn’t hard to guess. 

“That’s not how the law works, unfortunately,” Matt answered you. “Also, we’re defense lawyers.”

“Okay, and?”

“We don’t sue people.”

“We protect the people getting sued,” Foggy supplied.

“Assholes,” you mumbled, eyes sliding shut.

“So, what, did you raid a liquor store last night?” he asked, voice dancing with the odd mix of sympathy and humor.

“Tried to outdrink Bucky.”

“How well did that go?”

“Can’t remember a single thing after four p.m., but at least my hangover hurts worse than the news blasts I keep getting on my phone do.”

“You can turn those off, you know,” supplied Foggy helpfully.

“Fuck off, Nelson.” Matt laughed, suddenly acutely aware of the rip in your jeans where your skin poked through unhindered. You were crowding his senses for some reason. He pushed off the desk, walking around just to give himself something to do. He noted what was happening outside the window. Someone was walking a dog, a couple was arguing, a few honks from taxi drivers, the smell of you underneath all the liquor—

Knock it off, he thought. 

He paced back around to the opposite side of the desk, balancing himself on the edge. Your voice coated his thoughts as he tried to focus on what you and Foggy were saying. 

Foggy was explaining something about the legality of the Accords to you that Matt was struggling to catch on to. You swore at whatever he said. Matt let the conversation float over him as his senses crept out to the warmth of your skin and the softness of your voice and whatever shampoo you used that made you smell so good. He dug his nails into the wood of the desk below him, something solid to keep him from drifting into whatever made him like you so much. He knew he couldn’t, knew he shouldn’t, after the alarms went off in his mind the last time he walked you home and you’d leaned into his touch just a little too much. That bit of intimacy you’d offered him, the trust you were putting in him was misguided, unearned, and dangerous. Not with who he was. Not with who you were. 

So he denied himself, as any good Catholic would. 

He was brought back into reality when Foggy directed something at him. 

“What?” he stuttered, willing his brain to come up with something a little bit better. 

“Still with us?” Foggy laughed. 

You remarked, “I thought I was the one who was wrecked,” and he clenched his jaw. 

“My mind wandered.” He took a slow, deep breath. 

He couldn’t ignore the soft laugh you gave, or the way your pulse picked up with awareness under his focus. He could tell Foggy knew he was full of shit. "What did you say?"

"Do you think you could handle a neighborly visit?" Foggy asked.

Matt had no idea what he was talking about.

Thankfully, Foggy saved him the embarrassment of having to ask. "I'm going to do the best I can to figure out how to get around this once Bucky Barnes gets in contact with Sam Wilson. I think you should pay a visit to Mr. Walker."

Matt huffed and shifted from foot to foot. "Um, why?"

"Trying to prevent a murder," he answered dryly, then pointed a finger at you. "You are not to make contact with Walker. At all. I don't care. Relay that message to Bucky as well."

You sighed and rolled your eyes, letting your head lull back onto the couch. Your hair fell away from your neck, exposing more of your skin to the air. No more deep breaths.

"I think it can be arranged," Matt said.

He felt you tense, like you were making to get up, but you didn't move. Matt rounded the desk again, offering his arm to you. "Let's get you home."

You took it, letting him half-haul you up off the couch and into a standing position. Your skin was so soft. "Coffee?" he asked.

"You buying?"

He smirked at you, then turned his attention to Foggy. "Send any updated you find?'

Matt could tell Foggy was giving him a look that he was hoping you weren't picking up on, powers or not. You let yourself be escorted out the door, down the stairs, and out of the building, the entire time not letting go of Matt's arm.

New York liked to pretend to have spring. There was snow on the ground, and the temperature was barely breaking 65, in a way that let non-locals believe there might be some warmer weather up ahead. He knew better, though. He knew New York would stay icy for a long while longer.

He walked along the streets covered with melting snow, dodging tourists and kids checking out colleges on spring break. No one paid him a second thought. People were too busy thinking about themselves. Everyone is always only ever thinking about themselves.

Even when there was so much hurt in the world. So much that needed to be fixed and yet everyone chooses to think only about themselves. Everyone chooses to ignore the help they could give others and instead make it about them. So selfish, he thought. But he wasn't selfish. He thought about other people. He thought about the betterment of other people. Of a community.

That's why it took him so long to pick the perfect person. He didn't want to call her a victim. A pretty blonde in a pinstripe suit. She had just hung up the phone. Perfect, he thought. She wasn't a victim, no. Even as she thrashed and kicked as he came down hard with a hand over her mouth and dragged her into the alleyway just to his right. She wasn't a victim, she was the beginning to the betterment of a community. Of the world.

He pushed the needle into her skin, letting the dosage sink into the muscle of her arm. He'd had to tear her pretty blazer. He was sure she'd be fine with it if she knew. If she knew she was the beginning to a better community.

She lost her fight as the dose made its way through her system, slowly slumping in his arms as he lowered her to the ground, and he left her there to wake up later, making his way back into the sidewalk as if nothing had happened.

"Are you sure they're going to let you in in your condition?"

You laughed, still clinging to Matt's arm as you both made your way to the hospital. He'd insisted on ensuring you made it there safely, despite your protests. It's either this or the rooftops, he's said. He'd bought you coffee. You figured you could start your shift off on the right foot.

"They don't care what state I'm in as long as I can change a bedpan and start and IV," you remarked.

Mat laughed, and you liked the sound. "Let me know if you ever want to unionize."

"We're med students, Matt, I'm not even a real employee."

"That... sounds like it should break some labor laws."

You screwed up your face. "Gotta learn somehow. There could be worse ways. Than legalized slavery."

"Oh no," Matt said around another one of those pretty laughs. God. Go back to when you hated him, you thought. It was so much easier than thinking he was beautiful. And God, was he.

"I'll be fine," you stated, trying (and failing) to stop staring at him in the glistening springtime air. "Couple more cups of coffee and I'll be human-shaped again. Or, med student-shaped. How about you go out there and make sure we don't get any stabbings or GSWs? I want a quiet night."

"I'll try my best," he said, releasing your arm so he could slide his hand up and down it. What a gentleman, warming you up. So polite.

You stood there in silence, trying to come up with something to say maybe to extend the moment, or maybe a dig to make it not as incredibly obvious as it felt that you really enjoyed his company. Before you got the chance, a scrub-clad energy ball launched at you.

"You gotta come in here, we got a chick with some weird-ass symptoms, right up your alley. Come do your funky thing." He shivered. "God, it is freezing out here."

"Derek, no, that's not how this works and you know it." You sighed, closing your eyes, and digging your phone, which had begun ringing, out of your coat pocket.

"It is now," Derek said, smiling like he was sharing an inside joke with you. His smile faltered when he realized you were entirely lost. "You didn't see? I thought you would be jumpin' for joy."

"See what, Perez?" you asked, funneling every inch of exasperation into the question.

"The Accords got revoked. You get to be super doc."

"What?" you and Matt snapped in unison.

You looked down at your phone to see Foggy calling and thrust the phone up to your ear.

"Is it true?" you demanded at the same time Foggy said, "I have the best news ever!"

You heard him laugh on the other end of the line. "No more collar or leash for you, baby! The Accords were just revoked for American citizens!"

"Is he serious?" Matt asked you in a low voice.

You felt like you were going to pass out.

"I knew this had been in the works in congress but I didn't want to get my hopes up, but it's happening, baby!" Foggy was going on.

"What?" you snapped.

"Effective immediately, you are no longer required to sign the Accords. No leash, no monitoring. Go have fun."

"I would definitely still check with your higher-ups before using your abilities at work," Matt supplied.

"Is that Matt? Matt, you asshole, I've been calling you for like 10 minutes!"

"Dude," Derek said, "you've gotta come see this girl."

You were frozen in place, frozen with shock until you felt Matt's hand come to rest on the small of your back. You took a shuddering breath. "So, I'm free?"

"You're free," Foggy said gently.

You hung up the phone without saying goodbye, and turned to Matt. "I should get in there." Patients first, feelings later.

"Have a good evening," Matt said, his hand falling from your back. "Text me when you get home.

You knew damn well he would know when you got home without you texting him. But you didn't say anything. Instead, you turned back to Derek as he walked away and you forced yourself not to let your gaze follow him.

"Do I have time to get scrubs?"

"This chick is wild, okay," Derek began, ignoring your question. "I'd just gotten in when she came in. Flu-like symptoms, so the docs put her on me, right? Turns out, she was assaulted walking to work. All shaken up. I went to go get the kit, but she kept refusing, thought she'd probably feel safer with a female doc. So I offered up one of the interns, but she refused again. Said she was conscious for the entire attack, and all that happened was this guy stuck a needle in her arm and left her on the ground." He kept talking as you rounded the corner into the locker room. "Scumbag, right? I wasn't sure I believed her, but she let me do a physical exam and the only signs of struggle were on her face and neck. And her arm, where the needle went in. So she's telling the truth. And here's the catch. Tox screen is nuts."

You shrugged on your white coat. "How so?"

"Lit up like a Christmas tree," Derek said, shaking his head. "Amphetamine, opiates, benzos, tylenol, you name it."

You raised your brow at him. "Wow."

"And get this, she's bleeding from every line we give her. I tried to put in an IV, blew the vein."

"You're bad at IV's."

"Not that bad," he said indignantly. "But even Mar tried, and the line started bleeding. Mar! Best nurse in this place botched an IV. Doc Cohen tried to put in a central line, more bleeding. Her pressure was skyrocketing every time we tried too."

"That would sense," you said following him further into the ER. "Eight million drugs in someone's system ought to thin the blood."

"Yeah but we get at least a central line on druggies. Besides, she doesn't have any past drug use history. Her lines are clean, man." He led you to a private room towards the back of the ER. You pushed open the door with a sigh.

There was a young girl on the bed, two bloody bandages around her arms and a bandage across her chest. She was pretty, twenty-something with her blonde hair falling out of a ponytail at the back of her head. There was what looked like a designer bag and pinstripe pants discarded in the corner, the matching jacket in an evidence bag.

"Hannah Edwards, this is one of my colleagues, she's gonna do a much better job of figuring this out than we are," Derek supplied as you walked farther into the room.

You introduced yourself with as much smile as you could muster, sitting down next to the bed. "Don't sell her lies, Dr. Perez, please. How are you feeling?"

"Like a human pin cushion with a nasty flu," Hannah said with a weak smile.

"Can you tell me when you started getting the flu symptoms?" you asked.

"Like, fifteen minutes after the guy got me. I laid on the floor, not able to move for like ten minutes. When I got up, I started to go home, but I got, like, super dizzy and feverish five minutes later, so I came here instead."

"You were paralyzed?" you asked.

"I guess?" Hannah shrugged. "I got really groggy for a while and then when I tried to move, everything felt super heavy. It took me, like, ten minutes, like I said, to get up and move. Then I felt all dizzy and came here."

"Good thing," you said. You let your ability reach out ever so slightly, creeping out to touch whatever weird sickness surrounded her.

You jumped back.

"What, what is it?" Hannah asked.

"Dr. Perez, could I see that tox screen please?"

Derek handed you the paper. "Told you, there's almost so much on there that it's unusable."

"She shouldn't be upright with all of this in her system. Have you had any vomiting, Hannah?" You read the tox report again and again, begging the number to make sense but--Hannah Edwards should be dead right now if this were true.

"Just a little nausea," Hannah answered.

"Temp's been bouncing between 100 and 102," Derek said from behind you. "That's the third tox I ran. Same result every time."

You stood up, turning to meet his eye. "Let's get this shit out of her system, please."

You walked out of the room, almost slamming face-first into your resident as the door shut behind you.

"Did you do your thing?" Dr. Cohen asked.

"I, uh--"

"She started to, but something weird happened, huh?" Derek supplied. He'd seen you break the rules with your mutation once or twice or enough to tell when you did.

"It was weird. Like her sick pushed against me. She has so much in her system she should be dead or close to it, but there's something to keep her standing," you told them.

"Which is?" Cohen asked.

"I... don't know."

"Okay, so go find out." Cohen flashed her brown eyes between you and Hannah.

You sighed and shook your head before shutting your eyes and willing the hustle and bustle of the ER to go quiet for just a moment. You let your ability reach out once again, tendrils of invisible power creeping toward Hannah in her bed. You let it lace through every drug in her system, finding familiar things like acetaminophen and penicillin, the odd things like an antidepressant, and the less familiar things you were assuming were things like cocaine and meth, until you found... nothing.

"There's nothing there."

Derek and Cohen stared at you.

"What?" Derek asked.

"All that must be a front. She just has the flu." You looked between the puzzled expression the two shared.

"A flu that came on in less than fifteen minutes," Cohen supplied.

"I'm not saying that's all it is, or all that's gonna develop." You shoved the chart back into Derek's hands. "You should admit her for observation. I need a cup of coffee."

Your phone rang again hours later and as it flashed on the table of the breakroom, you found yourself hesitant to answer.

"Hi, Matt," you said as you brought the phone up to your ear.

"Good evening," he said, his voice silky and husky and you wanted to hang up.

"Hi."

"Are you walking home tonight?"

"Alone," you said. Not the smartest idea, all things considered, but you knew when someone was going to sneak up on you. You were an Avenger for fuck's sake. You could walk home alone tonight.

His voice dropped imperceptibly lower. "What happened?"

"Nothing," you said, carefully keeping emotion out of your voice. "Busy night. And, plus, I don't really need a lawyer anymore, since the Accords were revoked. So."

Matt laughed dryly, and you felt like you could imagine his face on the other end of the phone. He sighed. "You know I can hear your heartbeat through the phone, right?"

"You're so full of shit."

"You're lying to me. Why are you blowing me off?"

"Cause I'm a big girl, Murdock!" You dragged a hand over your face. Attachment was not your style, even Steve knew that, but this guy was making that very difficult. "I don't need you trying to sneak into my bed every night."

"You have got to stop with the lying, it's getting you nowhere with me."

You screwed up your face. "Goodbye, Matt." And you hung up the phone.

Matt was not having a good night. 

He went out on patrol like he did most nights. Like you told him to that night. That was where he'd called you from, a rooftop in Hell's kitchen. Maybe he did go seeking out trouble. Getting into fights he didn't need to be in. He wasn't unaccustomed to getting his ass kicked. No one knew more than Matt Murdock what pavement tasted like. What differed tonight from most nights, though, was the level at which he got his ass kicked. 

Whatever he was stuck with, it knocked him on his ass for a good ten minutes. Groggy and disorienting, like every cell was magnetized to the floor. His throat hurt, probably a symptom of being out in the cold all night. Even Daredevil wasn't immune to the common cold. He hauled himself off the floor with great effort, shocked his assailant left him there, and a little upset with himself he let the guy get away.

He was beaten and bruised and thoroughly feverish as he sat on the subway to Brooklyn.

He didn't want to show up on your doorstep. And you'd made it very clear you didn't want anything to do with him. But he was tired, and everything ached, and if anyone could fix his potentially broken rib, it would be you.

So, no, he didn't really blame you for the shock when you opened the door to your condo and found him slumped against the doorframe.

"Matt?" Your voice was high and indignant.

"I don't--" He fell forward, and you caught him taking off his mask.

"What the hell happened?" you demanded.

"Lost a fight," he managed, letting you guide him to the couch. He felt... some sort of tickle. Something that relaxed his muscles and felt soft, like how he imagined your skin felt.

"Matt, what the hell? Who did you get in a fight with?"

"I don't--" He grunted in pain, then relief as the pain in his ribs subsided.

He felt your face contort in pain, and your breath hitch.

"Don't--" he started.

"What happened?" you tried again.

His body started to feel light, so light, as if he were floating. Then he felt you slump against him, and suddenly, sleep was grabbing at his senses. He tried his hardest to resist it, tried to shake you awake, but he just ended up falling asleep, a hand snaking into your hair.

[natsmagi]

hello !! yet another different anon, but just wanted to share this while we’re on the topic of self-criticism - hopefully this doesn’t come off as patronizing, it’s just smth i’ve found helps me as an artist and hopefully it’ll help u :D

i think it’s rlly important to view old art more from the perspective of the feelings u had making it rather than the actual content of the art itself. sure, ur artistic skills have improved a lot over the years, and maybe when ur looking back at ur older work u see a lot of flaws in it - weird anatomy, bad lighting, articles of clothing that don’t make sense, etc (not saying ur old art has any of these i’m just listing examples i’ve had in my own lol) - but u had fun making it !! it’s a drawing of something u loved and still love, and it served its purpose as an outlet to express that love. when people go back and like those old drawings, they’re not seeing it for its flaws - they’re seeing it for the love it represents, a love they probably feel themselves. while it’s good to critique ur own work to some extent for the sake of improvement, people liking ur old stuff is far from cringe-worthy! it’s just someone enjoying something u once enjoyed too, like an internet happiness hand-me-down :)

again, this sort of mindset has rlly helped me personally - i don’t feel as nervous about drawing or posting, bc im just having fun !! it’s ok if it’s kind of janky or has weird details, it was made with love and people can see and appreciate that. nobody ever stops improving or seeing flaws in their work, so its best to focus more on the joy it gave u and push urself towards improvement with the promise of even more joy rather than forcing urself to improve under the threat of feeling ashamed of ur creations

hopefully all of this makes sense i kind of have the shakes rn lol. sorry for the super long ask, i just dont rlly know how to explain all of this in a short way-

hope u are having a fantastic day full of pretty girls !!!!

omg no worries at all!! your message read as very sweet so please dont stress urself out over how u came across!!

AND I DEFINITELY AGREE!! tbh its a mindset i tend to have, but i think where ive lacked is definitely in applying the "im just doing it for fun" logic to past me. i tend to be someone who very much lives in the present and have a bit of a disconnect both from the past and the future, and this can cause me to totally disregard everything about my past self and past work LOL. so honestly having all this put into words has kinda been an "OHH RIGHT" moment for me KASJHFJAHSDKJ

theres also the factor of my audience being bigger now........ im not really someone who likes having alot of eyes on me for various reasons, which sometimes causes me to waver a bit AKJSHFKJH THOUGH ITS NOT THAT BAD. i think most of my shyness comes from having artists i really admire now see my art and im like "FUCK IC ANT HAVE IT LOOK BAD WHAT IF THEY SEE" which can cause me to overthink things But also i tend to forget that those people even follow me 80% of the time. tbh all of my "insecurities" in regards to my art are purely circumstantial and only really present themselves if im in a flustered state, but a large portion of the time im just chilling KJAHSFJKHK

i do also wanna say tho that i think the viewing all art as coming from a place of love sentiment is very sweet........ esp bc in the beginning one of the compliments i got the most was along the lines of "your love for the characters really shines through!!" so to think that, in spite of potential quality, that love is still visibly present makes me very happy.......... Perhaps if u have genuine love for what u do itll shine through no matter what

[deeaselriel]

Why do people take the few interactions of Az & Gw*n and make it romantic or say that it hints their so called relationship, but completely deny THE OBVIOUS romantic coded scenes of Elriel? Those scenes where he goes basically to death FOR HER, the way she only opens up to him, their smiles and time spent together, the unusual ENERGY there is between them? That’s also mentioned by Feyre and not only. Even in ACOSF we have PLENTY of signs, but yeah, focus on the nonexistent ones bc y’all just want it SO BAD for Elain to not be with Az. That desperate you are!!LIKE WHY ON EARTH? Y’all just wrote EVERY SINGLE PARAGRAPH where Az’s & Gw*n’s name appear “together” and called it a day. Called it a “build up to their relationship”. Said it’s “so obvious they’re endgame”. No cuz I, ships aside & as someone that analyzes texts A LOT, I truly feel offended?! What books are y’all even reading? 😭😭😭😭 And how can y’all turn some simple interactions into some romantic sh!t that’s not?! It’s like saying that Feyre and Az have romantic feeling for each other bc they smile at eo or protect eo (Az more ofc). It’s plain… dumb? Like I’m sorry. 😂😂😂 What’s funny is that y’all don’t see (or pretend to not see maybe lol) the possible red flags & that whole light singer theory that actually makes sense. Now, that’s where you can say it’s hinted, cuz it happens TWO times; with different people. Guess who. 😂

No cuz as an Elriel girlie I have NO PEACE. On every single platform I’m bullied and I have things thrown at me that don’t even make sense. About this whole ship war. Read the f*cking books a billion times more and realize that YOU KNOW that Elriel is endgame, it’s just that the hatred for Elain is SO huge that y’all have to find any single reason to pair Az with someone else. And if I’m allowed, I’d go soo much more into detail about this whole Elain hatred movement, and say it as it is: Y’ALL HAVE INTERNALIZED MISOGYNY! On a scale that I can’t even pronounce it. And don’t say it’s not that, bc I SEE how y’all keep degrading her character bc she’s girly, feminine, sweet, kind, minds her business etc. Yall say she’s boring, but funny enough, she’s kinda just like Az, only that we know a little more about him. But yeah, she’s “boring” and “plain”, but he’s “mysterious” and “hot”. THE HYPOCRISY. I love them both to death, but y’all are HYPOCRITES and pick sides with d!ck having usually, and ONLY like women that have traits THAT MEN USUALLY HAVE. Explains why y’all complain all day and all night that Elain is not some warrior, doesn’t get all excited for fighting with swords or BEING A B!TCH! Cuz yeah, I also saw how much y’all like the mean asf characters. Makes me question a lot about y’all! 👀 It’s pretty telling for me what kind of people y’all are if you hate on a kind and feminine woman that minds her business. Like what on earth did she do so bad? Besides the things with Feyre, that even Feyre understood lmao, she’s a saint in comparison with the other characters. But she’s still the most hated in the fandom bc of misogyny and y’all can’t change my mind. I’ll repeat myself: ✨It’s ok to love ONLY b!tchy characters that are mean for whatever reason that fight left and right and have these traits that MEN usually have, but it’s OUTRAGEOUS to even LIKE someone that is FEMININE in every single way, that doesn’t put a sword in her hand and that is not a warrior 24/7✨This is how y’all sound. I guess y’all hate yourselves (aka women) so much that it results into this. SAAAAD. Y’all even invalidate Elain for killing the king of hybern, just like Nesta did and everyone around her. (El) SJM is teaching y’all a lesson through these books bc y’all put Elain down EVERY SINGLE SECOND OF YALLS PATHETIC LIVES. It’s in the books, if y’all wanna look. But it’s subtle asf, and it’s only for the ones that can interpret a book. Not for many of you I guess. 💀😂 Oh, and btw, SJM, the author herself said that out of all the characters Elain would be her best friend. She’s just that character that a normal human being would love to be around. Bc she’s chill, sweet and kind. She just brings so much peace around her. That’s the vibes. But ik, even with this y’all would disagree. 😂😂😂😂😂🙄 Bruh.

Whatever, I wrote so much and I don’t feel BAD AT ALL. Some things have to be said Ffs. Y’all are getting too brave for hating a genuine kind woman that likes to bake and plant flowers. 💀💀💀💀💀💀

Don’t even @ me or anything bc I know I’m right with everything I wrote here. And I have every right to also speak about this whole thing since many, MANY of you wished death to me, or told me I deserve to be R word just like my fave deserves. Aka Elain. Y’all are despicable people that don’t deserve sh!t and I hope karma gets y’all. 🌸🌸 The flower princess & the 👩‍🍳 of velaris says that we need to k!ll people with kindness. I think she’s a fan of Selena Gomez. 😂😂😂😂🌸✨ BYEEEEE.