#i will wait for next chapter tho and am willing to take this back

[codenamesazanka]

Deku is an ass character. awful. i've been saying so from the beginning!!! save shigaraki? lmao

[pygmi-cygni]

T minus 8

Y'all can figure out the title situation by now, right?

content warning: basically the same as the last two chapters, less techy stuff dw, blood, some more anxiety, tension, angst

is it weird that the head doctor's name is Ben? I realized he might get confused with Ben Reilly (tho i don't plan on mentioning him) if it's funky lmk

also - taglist ppl, if you want to be on my general (all fic) tag list, pls specify, I just have you on this specific fic's taglist.

enjoy!

This was ridiculous. Fucking unacceptable. You were not going to let this manchild disrupt your workflow. You had gone through med school, the collapse of your entire universe, and countless crazy patients.

Miguel O'Hara was not going to be your downfall.

After escaping to your room after the brush with death - aka Miguel's fangs - you'd had a good cry before realizing the situation.

You can deal with it, or you can drown in it.

Though your education was in healthcare, a mandatory part of medical training was mental wellbeing and psychology. You had a few coursebooks lying around...

Despite the words bleeding together and the stained coffee mugs littering your floor, you pored over textbooks until early the next morning. Fuck Miguel and his needles. You were going to do your job with the least number of puncture wounds possible.

You strode into his sickroom with a fresh coat of concealer and a thick stack of papers. No syringe in sight.

He was immediately suspicious of your lifted chin and confident stride. You could feel his apprehension tingling, carmine gaze following you around his temporary abode. Let him judge. At the end of the day, you had the needle and he had a sore elbow. Not your fucking problem.

"This is how this is gonna go," you said flatly, rolling next to his bed with a sheet of paper and a pen.

"Twice a day, I am going to come in here and give you a shot. Then, I'm gonna force feed you and take your vitals. Then, I'm gonna do it again the next day and the next until this day," you circled the small calendar at the bottom of the sheet. "And you aren't gonna give me any shit about it, okay?"

The words tumbled out as precise as you'd practiced in front of the mirror twenty times that morning.

Miguel's eyebrow lifted at your direction but his mouth stayed curled in a sneer. You swallowed, willing him to say something. The strong facade you'd put on was slowly succumbing to sleep deprivation.

Too early to give in.

You were stuck in another staring match, so focused on his blistering glare that you didn't realize he was slowly leaning closer. Until his breath brushed your ear and you could see his teeth glimmering.

"No."

One word, and your spine was quaking with shivers. You blinked rapidly, veering away from him. His impassive stare returned and he leaned back into his pillows.

You sat stunned. Then pissed.

"That's not the correct answer," you said coolly. His eyebrows twitched again. Did he think you would cower and scamper off again? What a surprise he was in for.

"Easy way or hard way, Miguel," you taunted, pulling out one of the two doses. "If you let me do this, in five seconds it will be over and I'll be gone."

He didn't look at you, but subtly shifted away from the offensive syringe.

"Or you could drag it out until you're crying and you'll still get a poke."

Another bloodcurdling stare. Aw, the big baby doesn't like it when I call him a coward. Too bad.

You could hear the gentle uptick in his heartrate as you began to prep the area, wiping gently with an alcohol patch. His breaths were louder, whistling above your head. It didn't take this long to clean an injection site, but you wanted to give him time to realize what was going on.

"Wait," he muttered, snatching your wrist before you could grab the medicine. You let him and hoped he couldn't feel your own rapidly beating heartrate. Using your other wrist this time, you took up the syringe and tried to nudge the protective seal off.

"Not yet," Miguel protested, batting you away. You fixed him with a warning glance.

"Easy or hard, big guy, but it's gonna happen."

He tried to swat you again, but you barked out a "Stop."

Flinching, he retreated. Anger simmered in his eyes, but he bit his tongue. You tried to soften your tone. He's a patient, be nice. He's hurt, it's just the adrenaline.

"Don't swat me when I remove the seal, you might accidentally stick yourself," you explained kindly. Replacing the seal, you set the needle on the tiny table next to him. Miguel regarded you warily, unsure if he could trust your sudden surrender.

Talking. He liked the talking last time. Trying to medicate him in this state would be impossible, you had to de-escalate.

"Why...why is this hard for you? I mean, what's the scary bit?" You sat back, keeping your hands empty and in view of him.

He snorted and fidgeted with his hospital bracelet.

"I need to work," he said gruffly, looking at the clock, then wincing. You tilted your head.

"No, I meant about the nee-"

"I need to get back to work," he insisted, "I've been gone too long. The Society won't survive without me."

You leaned forward and peeled back the blankets. He knew better than to stop you, but you could sense his agitation.

"Until that-" you pointed to the sour-smelling bandages crusted with blood, "goes away, you won't be going back."

"That's impossible."

"Cry about it." You dismissed his annoyance as you peered at the dirty gauze. You'd replaced it only a few hours ago, how bad was the infection? It shouldn't have absorbed the ointment and worsened. A crease furrowed your brow. You reached out to feel around the wound. He groaned, twitching under your hands. The pale complexion returned, and sweat had dried around his chest.

How come he didn't ring for help?

"Okay, let's try something else," you said slowly. "I'm gonna replace these and clean you up, got it?" The expected silence rang out, and you took it as a green flag.

It took you a few moments to collect your scissors, gauze and other supplies, all the while Miguel was breathing heavily through his nose. You were calm as morning fog while you worked, barely wrinkling your nose at the foul smell.

What the....The wound was ragged and swollen. Had you been the only person paying attention? The torn was flesh had clearly been neglected, or else it wouldn't be nearly as rancid.

Don't freak out, you reminded yourself, feeling Miguel's scowl directed at your face. He doesn't need to know.

"That's not supposed to be like that," he guessed, reading your obvious distress. you startled and tried to smile, but it wavered.

"No! No, it's..." you trailed off, acutely aware that he saw right through your act.

Deciding to focus on the task at hand, you began carefully snipping away at his bandages. It was soothing, just another routine. he's not dying he's not dying it's just a routine check up, nothing terrible, it's okay

Is the poison contagious after contact?

You froze, realizing Dr Ben had never explained the dangers of exposure. You had your gloves, but they were flimsy, and a paper mask could only do so much. Fuck. You'd already gotten blood and gore on your hands, it wasn't really a good time to fix that.

Here goes nothing.

Miguel did a stellar job of not biting your head off, though his pained grunts and clenched fists didn't help your heart rate. You were efficient and cleaned him up quickly, though his appearance wasn't improving. It was only day two. Not good.

"Okay, scary part," you warned, reaching again for the syringe. He was still riled up from the agony of his new dressings. It wasn't the way you wanted it to go, but he was running out of time.

"I can't bargain with you on this," you said shakily, "because it isn't up to me. i'm just the messenger, and I don't know how else to tell you."

Deep breaths.

"Your tissue is decaying, and if I don't give this to you, you won't be able to work at all. Ever," you added for emphasis when he almost protested. "I know you hate needles, I know you hate being here, I know you hate me, but seriously, please just let me do my job."

your hands were shaking. He looked...impassive, as if he'd turned to stone during your plea. Stick him. Just do it, just poke him right in the arm, he's not moving-

Miguel inclined his chin and released his harsh grip. You were shocked and almost dropped the syringe. That was quick. Maybe it wasn't the needle?

"You gonna stab me or what," he snapped. Scurrying forward, you gently took his hand in yours and probed for a vein.

"Little poke," you whispered, before carefully injecting the vial of clear liquid into his bicep. He let out a strangled groan and grabbed your arm, clutching for dear life. You let him squeeze, though his grip was threatening to cut off your circulation. Breathe breathe breathe he's okay you're okay it's okay breathe

"Not so hard, yeah?" you kept your voice quiet, rubbing his shoulder carefully. Miguel was still in the throes of panic before he suddenly blinked awake. Like a robot, his arms were at his sides and he stared straight ahead.

Confused, you searched his gaze. A haze had gone over his irises, but nothing extreme. All good so far. As quietly as possible, you ran through his vitals and coaxed a cup of water into him.

After a few minutes of waiting by his side, you signed off on his form and backed out of the room.

3 down, too many to go.

And so it went. He never looked at you, never acknowledged your existence each time you peeked into his room. A week went by, for better or worse. His wound was making disappointing progress, but it wasn't getting worse.

However, his approach to the needle wasn't getting better either. He liked the talking, seemed to calm him slightly when you rambled about other patients or your daily routine.

But whenever your hand ducked into your coat pocket, his face would go hard and he'd hunch like a cat, hissing and scratching when you got too close.

"Miguel, please," you begged, eyes pricking with tears. It had been a long day. the longest. four spiders lost, three injured, and one in critical condition. You'd worked your ass off, then slogged to your last patient. you just didn't have the fight in you.

Did he like to torture you?

"I will do anything, please just fucking stay still."

he hesitated.

"Anything?"

"I don't fucking care, please give me your wrist-"

"Let me go back to work." His tone was defiant, but urgent.

You fixed him with a no-nonsense glare. "You know the answer to that."

"I have the multiverse to attend to," he gritted out, "this stupid arrangement is not more important than that."

You couldn't fucking deal with this. "I will rip your fucking teeth out, you animal, I don't care how important you are-"

"I control the fate of-"

"I am acutely aware of that, O'Hara," you shouted finally, throwing the capped needle at him. He swore and ducked.

"I am so fucking aware that everything you do affects my wellbeing. But if you don't sit still and stop acting like a fucking child then you'll die and so will the rest of us." You were crying and your head hurt and the syringe was probably shattered but you just wanted to go home.

"I want to go home," you blubbered, "and I want to go to bed. If you let me do my job, then you can do yours. Please." You whispered, begging.

Miguel's nostrils flared, barely holding back. Maybe if he bit you again, you could take a long nap and this would all be over.

"One condition."

Your head thumped against his mattress. "I don't wanna argue with you-"

"One dose, one favor."

You rolled your face to the side, sighing tiredly. "I'm not having sex with you."

He sputtered, fangs shifting in surprise. "Wh-ay dios-no that's not- I meant a-" Miguel scowled at you for as he understood your delirious laughter was at his gullibility.

"I take the dose, no fuss, you do me a favor," he tried again, "professionally."

Any win was a win in your book. "Fine."

He relented, sticking his arm out and bracing against the handrail. Afraid he would double back on his promise, you stuck him a little more aggressively than you needed to in your rush.

"Okay, big guy, what'll it be?"

"Give me my work laptop."

Bastard. "That's cheating-"

"You said-"

"Fine," you spat, tossing the empty syringe in the bin. "One hour."

"Three."

"One."

"That dose hurt," he protested, and you rolled your eyes.

"Fine. Two."

A moment later, his laptop was under your arm and you were checking off another day on the calendar.

It definitely got easier. A tentative agreement had settled between you: one dose, two hours of work. It did seem to help his mood. Miguel still flinched when you aimed the syringe for his arm. He stayed still when you changed his bandages and kept his fangs to himself.

You were fitting him for the pressure cuff when you noticed. Last week, even the biggest cuff size could barely fit around his massive arm. Today, you could easily wrap it with a few inches to spare.

Frowning, you made sure nothing had come undone in the packaging. Everything was intact. Had he been flexing before?

"Um...do you mind flexing your arm for a second?"

He looked puzzled at the request, but did as asked. You tried again, but even then the cuff was loose.

"Nevermind, that's...that's fine, thanks." You gave a tight smile and jotted something down in your notes.

After his shot, you tried to see if the rest of his body was changing. He was still enormous, but there did seem to be a lackluster quality about him. Miguel's energy was reduced, his anger less potent and he was definitely tamer.

"Miguel, are you feeling okay?" you asked tentatively, gauging his reaction. Usually you knew better than to interrupt his working time, his anger would snap.

But today, he merely grunted and shrugged. Definitely lethargic. Trying to rationalize, you figured it might be his body finally adjusting to the medication.

Making a quiet excuse, you ducked into the adjacent office and discreetly dialed Ben.

"I'm worried it's not working," you whispered, chewing on a hangnail. Dr Ben hummed on the other line.

"His stats are looking a little low. I'll have another doctor check him out. You've done well so far, kiddo, this is a tough case. Take today off, yeah?"

You blinked at the quick change in subject. At least the problem was getting looked at...but Miguel still had his evening dose. I'll just come back for that, you amended. It had been so long since you'd had a day off.

In the few hours between your brief pop-in and Ben's call, you'd gotten groceries, done your hair and even had time to watch a movie.

Feeling refreshed, you threw on your gloves and pulled up Miguel's file.

Nothing had changed, really, except a small yellow notification underneath his recent immunizations. Single (1) dose of R4GE-57 administered at 2100.

What?

The meds Ben prescribed hadn't been titled, and you weren't even in the building at 2100.

Frowning, you pushed into Miguel's room.

"Hey, Mig-"

You stopped. He was sitting on his bed, hands folded limply on his lap. His eyes were open but unfocused. You tiptoed closer.

"Miguel?"

His head twitched, but his eyes had difficulty following your movements.

"You're not s'posed to be here," he slurred gravelly. His tone made you pull up short. You two weren't friends, but you'd definitely passed the growling stage.

"Ookay," you said slowly, "but I need to give you your last dose for today."

"No, that lady did. Maria."

Nothing made sense. Maria hadn't given him his second dose cause it would have been two hours early. And you were holding the second syringe, which was very much full.

"Wh...What do you mean? Maria shouldn't have given you-"

"Are you being slow?" His tone was vicious, lips curled to reveal his incisors. Miguel hadn't snapped like that in a week. You balked, retreating a step. Okay, take a deep breath. He's definitely unstable.

"That other nurse gave me the medicine, you are wasting my time," he snarled. Your heart rate was steadily rising. Breathe.

"Just let me-"

Your hand was halfway to his wrist when he lunged.

no no not again-

A cry ripped from your throat as your head collided with the edge of the table, and a dull ringing overwhelmed your senses. throbbing washed over you in waves, pulsing like a drum in tune with your panicked heart.

Nothing was focusing. Were you crying? Someone was shouting, it was bright and your head hurt and where-?

Somebody was dragging you away, and you uselessly batted at their hands.

He's my patient he didn't mean to no stop wait he needs his meds

Surely it wasn't your wailing, that angry wounded animal howling over the thumping ache in your skull.

He was making progress...

did i just make a simple enemies to lovers into a weird crazy multiplotline clusterfuck? yes. yes I did.

tags:

@neeshsoodrippedout

@ridiculous-hibiscus

let me know if u wanna be added/removed xox

[youlikefanficdontyousquidward]

Little less than super, soldier

Basically an oc x zemo fic but I'm going to write it in y/n style because that's what I'm comfortable with ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Also I am still working on Avatar and Spiderman fics just taking a self indulgent break because the FOCUStm is on Zemo rn.

Your characters background is clear as the story progresses but if you'd prefer to know it going in this is a post on it! And this is a short fic of that info too ✌

This is a part one... I got so excited and wrote a few more ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Summary: Sam gets back up from an old friend, meanwhile y/n is struggling to deal with Zemo.

warnings: for now canon typical violence, tho later chapters will contain mild body horror. Warnings will specify.

Nicht - Don't

Tut mir leid - I'm sorry

Soldat - Soldier

(My german is very basic so feel free to correct me!)

next

Sam hadn't seen you in years, not since he watched you walk away from him, Bucky and Steve. He couldn't argue with their decision, it was for the best. You were a wreck and despite his best hopes he knew you were right. If anyone knew you were alive they'd use you again.

Still he wasn't too surprised when you turned up at his house. He'd only been back from dust a few days earlier but he'd heard from others that you'd been there. Stepping up to help when people around the globe needed you. He hadn't realized the broken person he'd met screaming in a cell had so much heart.

Still you were a ball of nerves, being overly polite and stumbling over your questions. It was a far cry from the swearing, snapping venom you'd spit when the Avengers had you and it put him a little on edge. You just wanted to know if he was okay, if they all were and that you'd be leaving again. He'd given your shoulder a squeeze, despite the flinch, and wished you the best. You'd settled quickly under his had and that was the first time he saw you really smile.

He found the number a few hours later. A tiny scrap you'd somehow tucked into his own jean pocket. A small note, "Just in case." He felt oddly proud of who you'd become and kept it into his wallet.

That day passed into fond memory but every so often a little note and number would turn up. A small reminder you were out there and willing to help again. A few times he thought to call but he didn't. No point worrying you or pulling you back for nothing.

Only this wasn't nothing now. He and Bucky were stumped and with the threat of super-soldiers and he knew you'd want to know. Though the idea of dragging you back it was horrible. He felt the weight of his decision bearing down on his shoulders. Sam slumped further into his chair as he eyed the message. Then with a last deep breath in, his thumb tapped the glass.

Sent. Delivered. Read. Ellipsis.

Then nothing. He waited, head in hands, regretting it immediately. It wasn't like you wouldn't be a huge help but dragging you back like this? It just didn't feel right. Even if you came what could you know anyway? Hydra weren't exactly open with you about things whilst in there clutches. Hell you might end up coming to draw gun fire and that thought twisted his gut. Sam watched the screen until his eyes burnt, then let his head hit the desk.

The buzz startled him some time later. He flung out his seat, scrambling to the message. Bucky, whatever he had been up to after visiting Zemo he was ready to meet. Sam's shoulders sagged as he read the text. He wasn't disappointed, not really. He knew he was asking too much by contacting you. The risk to your freedom was eminence. There was no telling who was still out there looking for you, other than SWORD anyway.

Still Sam couldn't help but feel down as he got his things ready. God only knows what Bucky had done and meeting him across town in some garage didn't bode well.

Maybe you'd settled down somewhere, maybe you were happy. He hoped so, that you'd chosen yourself. Sam fortified himself, squaring his shoulders as he headed to the door. No point stalling, he needed to find out what Bucky had been up to.

He swung the door out quickly but found his feet rooted in place. There you were, frozen with a hand in the air ready to knock. A mess of hair, in sweatpants and an old thread bare t-shirt, looking rather stunned. He stared a moment, watching your mouth bob open and shut, over night bag slipping down your shoulder.

"Y/n!" Sam couldn't help the grin that spread across his face. To his relief your posture relaxed and you returned his smile. "Come on, Bucky might have something, we'll meet him across town."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You knew you should try to stop bouncing your leg but every time you lost focus it jumped to life. You didn't want Sam to see you worried like this. He'd always been so kind to you and you didn't doubt he'd let you leave if you asked. You couldn't however, no matter how much it felt like jaws were gonna snap down on you.

He'd been so nice in the car over, being careful to avoid touching you, asking after your life, avoiding making you speak any specifics. You appreciated that, although your run down, rented flat and part time jobs were hardly worth the effort. Hell you'd struggled enough making nice with coworkers, maybe a fresh start would be nice after this.

You'd wanted to call Sam. You'd wanted to check in with him and his family. For a time you even considered contacting Wanda but you never liked someone else in your mind with you. No you'd resigned yourself to the loneliness. Maybe you should get a pet.

"Is it Bucky?" Sam offered, eyes glancing to you before returning to scanning the room. "You know after Wakanda he's..."

"Yes I know." You interrupted, stilling yourself again. You'd actually gone to see him shortly after checking in with Sam. A guilty part of you had felt relieved when he'd disappeared. Though after the five year absence you felt you had to see him too.

He'd been starting therapy at the time, was working, he was doing well all things considered. Still you'd felt the need to check, to be sure the Soldat was gone. You'd left then satisfied that the man you'd known wasn't behind those kind sad eyes and that this Bucky that stood in his skin was not a threat. Still an incredibly able soldier just not of the winter variety. Anyway it wasn't him you were worried about.

When Sam had fully explained the situation you'd blanched. These flag-smashers had access to the serum. Not the same one you'd had pumped into you but a better one. One that left them with the strength and power of Captain America, not just side effects.

Still no matter what it cost, you couldn't leave knowing the serum was out there somewhere. So you'd focus on that, let it anger you, burn away any doubt and drive you forward.

You heard him before you saw him. Loud deliberate steps, Sam must have let him know you'd be there. Unless they were so as not to startle Sam. Regardless there was little more than a tight smiles shared before Bucky led you both further in to the garage.

You wouldn't say you were on comfortable terms with him yet. He was still guilt ridden about the Soldat's memories with you and you were still a little unnerved with a new man wearing the same face. It was nice to see him so happy though. Even in this circumstance his mood seemed far different than you'd ever seen him. Here's to therapy you supposed.

Bucky's plan seemed rather extreme. Break Zemo out and have him help. You had to admit it seemed rather extreme. The ex Colonel was part of an elite intelligence op and had a history of hating Avengers. Though he also hated super soldiers more so that might keep him on their side. Enemy of my enemy and all that.

Except you'd be among the enemy in that case. It wasn't outside the realms of possibility that Zemo didn't know about you. After all his search through the leaked files where rather singular in their aims. Your particular information had been lost or redacted so heavily that without specific knowledge on you it would be hard to link the two.

You continued to follow behind Sam, keeping your eyes on the shadows, watching your back. Some stress was elevated when Bucky flipped the lights on, continuing his back and forth with Sam after shooting a soft look at you. Nothing got past his notice.

If they kept this bickering up you'd be there all day. You slunk over to a car under the lights, perching on the open bonnet. You couldn't help the fondness in your smile as you watched their amusing relationship. Giggling to yourself as Sam rolled his eyes with his whole body, raising his brows to you.

"Look, let me just walk you through a hypothetical. Can I just walk you through a hypothetical." Bucky started.

"What did you do?" Sam questioned, his brow furrowing as he turned back to face him.

You felt tense again, arms uncrossing from your chest. You weren't quiet sure what was going on now. Clearly Sam had caught on to something you'd missed. Bucky launched into a far too detailed plan and you felt a shiver run down your spine. Every hair stood on end as the dawning realization hit.

"You didn't..." You almost whispered as Sam interrupted again. Then the door was opening and your ears were ringing. Your heart pounded in your throat as Sam charged forward in front of you. You were still stunned, now behind them both as Zemo entered the garage, dressed in a guards uniform.

He caught eyes with you for a moment, taking his hat off before returning to Sam and Bucky's argument. His eyes seemed to drift back to you before he interjected again.

You found yourself standing under his scrutinizing gaze, drifting closer to Sam, inching him further between you and Zemo. You barely followed what was being said, waiting for him to pull a gun or stop staring. Either was preferable in this moment.

"Okay." Sam spoke, defeat in his tone. You clenched your jaw. You didn't like this. If the guy wasn't gonna attack he was going to manipulate his way to his release, you were sure.

Still he seemed cooperative, leading you all back to a larger room filled with old cars. They were expensive things but you didn't let your eyes wander from him. Choosing to break the middle of the pack, you kept yourself between Sam and him. Despite his words and values you wanted to remain vigilant. If you could do nothing else you'd shield Sam.

Other than a few snide comments he seemed true to his word. He drove the group of you to an airport in mostly silence. Peaking back at you and Sam through the mirror.

"So all this time you've been rich?" Sam said incredulous at the sight of the privet jet on the tarmac. You'd calmed down a little, walking by him and Bucky's side as you followed.

"I'm a Baron Sam, my family was royalty until your friends destroyed my country." Zemo spat back. You couldn't help but snort at his comment. You regretted drawing his attention again when he stared back at you. You looked away until his attention left, drawn else where.

Bucky and Sam eyed you a moment and the indignation flared in you again. "What? They dropped that city on me." you hissed quietly. You weren't sure you wanted Zemo to hear that. Sam looked stunned blinking at you before he was turned back to the plane. You fell back in step behind the group as you approached.

You suppose you never did tell him about that. Just letting it stew with your general hatred towards your then captors back then. It'd been a huge loss to you. A life built there crashing down on top of you, leaving you broken and pinned for days. You shook the memories away trying to forget the carnage.

Zemo greeted an old butler looking guy at the steps. To your delight he was wearing the little white gloves and everything. Sam awkwardly nodded and you gave the man a genuine smile as you passed. He was just like the caricature on TV. He looked to be 100 and considering his familiarity with Zemo he could've known him all his life.

It soon set you on edge to be at his mercy 1000 feet in the air. With a knowing look he could fly you all anywhere and you'd be none the wiser. Certainly wouldn't make a change from most flights you'd been on, at least your hands would be free.

Zemo smiled at you as you boarded, gesturing to the seat opposite his own. You ducked your head, shifting quickly to the back behind Sam. If the staring was bad in the garage you sure as hell didn't wanna experience it in direct line of sight.

You didn't catch his name but Zemo spoke to the butler in Sokovian for a moment, implying he'd give out of date food to Sam and Bucky. Angered you huffed, Zemo turning at the sound. You caught his eye, keeping a glare set on his smug expression.

"Nicht." You bit out through gritted teeth. Your Sokovian was rusty but you saw the slightest change in Zemo's expression, before it settle back into a cat like grin.

"Tut mir leid." He nodded, turning back to face forwards again. Sam's head peaked at you from round his seat but you just slumped back into your own. Staring out the window and gripping the arm rests as the plane took flight.

Not long into cruising altitude Zemo angered Bucky. You hadn't been paying them much attention by this point. You'd found yourself relaxing and had become dazzled my the ice on the window and fluffy clouds below. You were startled back by the sudden movement of Bucky. Jumping up and catching Bucky's eye as he took his hand off Zemo's neck and slumped back into his seat, his book back in his hands.

Cursing under your breath you moved to the seat in front of Zemo now. You resigned yourself to a task to keep you awake, stop them from killing one another.

Zemo spoke an apology, but it seemed more probing than you liked. To your relief Sam seemed to turn the conversation back to lighter topics. You slid further into your seat a moment before Zemo began pushing again. You glare into him, not missing the way he glanced at you when he said "innocents die."

A small pang of fear hit you but you bit back a response. He'd clearly caught the hint of resentment you felt towards what happened in Sokovia. Still you kept your gaze level as you bit your cheek and allowed Zemo to continue.

Madripoor, you'd only ever been there in passing. The lawless nature allowed you to obtain some fake documents for relatively cheap. It was too risky to stick around though, too many dangers, too much risk of outing yourself.

Worse still Bucky was gonna have to put on an old mask.

Soldat

[goodlucktai]

give me something that’ll haunt me when you’re not around

chapter seven: i swear that i would pull you from the tide

rise of the tmnt pairing: leoichi (leonardo / usagi yuichi) word count: 3k title borrowed from line without a hook by ricky montgomery post-movie

(previous) (next)

read on ao3

x

Yuichi is pissed off.

It’s been most of a week since the incident at the farmhouse, and Leonardo hasn’t answered a single text.

At first, it was alarming. Yuichi’s brain went running in circles around it. Was he okay? Was he in a position where he couldn’t reply? Maybe that flashback had set back his recovery. Maybe Yuichi was the worst person in the entire universe for allowing it to happen.

Then at work Sunita told him she’d been to the lair recently and that Leonardo seemed fine. A little subdued, but not so much so that he couldn’t partake in her surprise birthday party.

Which told Yuichi two things: one, that he’d missed Sunita’s birthday, which he was going to remedy at their favorite boba place in the near future. And two, that Leonardo was avoiding him.

The absolute nerve of that guy!

First, he completely vanishes from the Hidden City after a horrifying invasion of the mortal world and leaves Yuichi wondering what the hell happened to him. Then he returns and unceremoniously takes up every single available square inch of space in Yuichi’s brain and heart, and soul, probably. And now he thinks he can just? Disappear again? And let Yuichi waste his days wondering about him again??

Well, he can go to hell.

Usagi: Hey so

Usagi: I understand that this is a difficult time for your family. And I want to be respectful of that.

Usagi: But Leonardo’s my friend and I need to see him and I am 100% willing to just walk through every tunnel in the NYC underground until I find his house.

Usagi: Or buy a spell from Witch Town to find him for me. I’m not actually allowed to go there but I will.

Yuichi is braced for a fight, or an argument at the very least. He’s pretty sure Leonardo’s family doesn’t like him very much, but he doesn’t take it personally. It really is a difficult time for them, and when he tries to imagine Botan or Sonoko in Leonardo’s position, his hackles go up immediately at the idea of some stranger waltzing in during the aftermath and taking up his precious time with them.

Still. He’s ready to do this. And he really will go to Witch Town if he has to.

But Leonardo’s sister surprises him by not only responding immediately, but enthusiastically. She even seems relieved.

April (Hamato?): oh thank GOD this boy has been driving me up the damn wall

April (Hamato?) has shared a location

April (Hamato?): here. wait topside tho the tunnels can be really confusing at first and if i let you get lost i will literally never hear the end of it for as long as i live

April (Hamato?): i’ll send angie to meet you there. when are you coming?

Usagi: Now. Thank you, April.

April (Hamato?): just get your fluffy butt down there. there’s only so much moping a girl can take

April (Hamato?): 💛

Yuichi owes her a drink. Coffee of her choice. Also, he needs her to change her contact ID.

When he pulls his bike into the sidestreet her location pin indicated and pulls his helmet off, his ears swivel immediately toward a shadowed corner of the alley, so he turns his head in that direction, too.

“Oh, wow,” a vaguely familiar voice says, “you sussed me out that fast?”

The youngest Hamato comes slinking soundlessly out of the dark, all his bright colors incongruent with the way he can seemingly disappear into thin air at free will. His arms are bandaged up to the elbows, crisp white gauze where the stark black wrappings usually sit.

Michelangelo smiles and offers a little wave, approaching at an energetic trot. He’s tiny, but his personality is huge. It’s better suited someone six times his size. Somehow, Yuichi is more intimidated by him than anyone else in Leonardo’s family.

And he’s clearly holding back from him. Even this lively greeting is restrained compared to his usual demeanor, when Yuichi would watch him clown with his brothers at Run of the Mill.

“Hi, Usagi!” Michelangelo says cheerfully enough. “April told me you needed an escort.”

“Thank you,” Yuichi replies carefully.

“She said you weren’t mad about the robot,” Michelangelo goes on. His tone is still bright, but doggedly so, like he’s doing his damnedest to be nice but he’s also ready to drop the act at a moment’s notice and square up. “Is that true? You’re not allowed to come if you’re mad.”

That’s surprising enough that Yuichi blurts, “What? Of course not. If anything, Leonardo should be mad at me.” He plucks at the strap of his helmet, mouth twisting. “I wanted him to have a good day and it turned out horrible.”

Michelangelo stares up at him for what feels like a short eternity. Then he piles forward without warning for a hug. Whatever happened to his arms, they’re still strong enough that they feel like iron bands wrapped around Yuichi’s middle.

Yuichi lets out an involuntary “oof” and stands there stupidly for a second. People aren’t exactly lining up to hug him, given how unapproachable he comes off as. But Yuichi has plenty of practice with his little cousins, and Kitsune when she’s drunk, and Michelangelo is completely little-brother-shaped in a disarming way.

So he tosses his helmet to the ground and lets his arms rest around the top of Michelangelo’s carapace. It feels strange for a second, and then that second passes.

“He likes you so much,” Michelangelo muffles against Yuichi’s shirt. “I’m glad you’re nice.”

Yuichi wants to say He likes me?? but he ignores the dangerous impulse because if he actually asked that he would have no choice but to flee the country. Instead, he says, “‘Nice’?” because that’s equally as baffling.

The spotted turtle leans back to look up at him. His eyes are a little shiny, but his smile is back in full-force. “Yeah, the kind of nice that actually matters. Anyway, come on! Let’s go! We didn’t tell Leon you were coming. That’s what he gets for trying to self-sabotage.”

Yuichi admits, “I am a little mad about that.”

“Ugh, dude, tell me about it! I was like two hours away from staging an intervention.” Those bright brown eyes dart past him to his bike. “Hey, let’s take your bike. I can show you were the garage entrance is, so you don’t have to leave it up here.”

Deciding the best thing he can do in this whirlwind is just hang on for the ride, Yuichi smiles back. “That’d be great, thanks.”

“Can I drive?” Michelangelo asks innocently.

Yuichi squints at him. “No.”

It takes all of three minutes for Michelangelo to wear him down. Yuichi resigns himself to the passenger seat and decides Leonardo actually wasn’t exaggerating about those baby brother privileges.

By the time they get to the repurposed subway station that seems to serve as the Hamato clan’s home, Yuichi is hopelessly lost somewhere in the Manhattan underground. Michelangelo did his best to point out helpful markers, but it will definitely take a few trips before Yuichi is at all comfortable managing the route on his own.

“This way, this way,” Michelangelo says eagerly. “He’s probably still in his room. He won’t come out unless Raph, like, physically carries him out.”

So—moping, according to April, and holed up, according to Michelangelo. It sounds like exactly the same way Yuichi has been spending the last several days, minus the interludes of forced productivity at work.  

On one hand, Yuichi is sort of inappropriately relieved he’s not the only miserable party here. On the other hand, Leonardo is miserable over something he had absolutely no control over, something that was in no conceivable way his fault. That’s nothing to feel relieved about.

Michelangelo leads him across the cozy, lived-in station to one of the subway cars sitting stationary on the tracks. The cars must serve as their respective bedrooms, because Michelangelo lifts a finger to his mouth in the universal gesture of be quiet, and creeps with exaggerated stealth toward the open doors.

Yuichi peeks through the long window, eager to get a glimpse of his friend’s life. There are string lights up on the walls, illuminating movie posters and colorful artwork all signed with a stylized M and a smiley. The shelves are stocked full of action figures and trophies and an even mix of medical textbooks and comic books. In one corner, propped up next to a big cabinet arcade game, sits a bright pink and blue skateboard and a battered guitar case.

Leonardo himself is on the bed, cross-legged with his back resting against the wall. There’s a human boy sitting with him. Maybe the one from the videos of the invasion, the one who fought alongside April. He’s leaning comfortably against Leonardo’s good side and holding a Switch so they both can see the screen. Leonardo is using the hand of the arm draped around the human’s shoulders to point something out.

“Shake the trees. Sometimes they drop furniture or bells. Just look out for—oops. Okay, those are wasps.”

“Sensei,” the human says, totally aggrieved.

They both look up at the same time when Michelangelo’s shadow crosses the doorway, before he makes so much as a whisper of sound. Their mannerisms are a perfect mirror of each other, which is sort of an odd thing to see in action.

Even stranger, the human goes still with surprise when he sees Yuichi. Then his whole face lights up.

“Uncle Yui!”

“Eughh boy,” Michelangelo and Leonardo say at the same time.

“Sorry, what’s happening?” Yuichi says blankly.

The human looks mortified a second later, but Leonardo tightens his arm around the boy’s shoulders and doesn’t let the silence settle into something awkward.

“Yeah, so I guess I’m a dad?” he says in a blithe tone. “Only my son is the same age as me, and from a future that no longer exists. You know how it is.”

Yuichi stares at him. This is the last thing he was expecting when he walked into the room.

“I refuse to let you distract me from why I’m here,” he finally says. “But we’re definitely circling back to—that whole situation.”

Michelangelo laughs out loud, bright and clear as a bell.

“This is Casey!” he announces. Then, as if it isn’t at all weird, or maybe because of how weird it is, he adds delightedly, “My nephew!”

Yuichi would be inclined to believe that this was just a joke the brothers were pulling, except that Casey looks earnest and genuinely happy to see him.

He’s heard stories about time gateways. Only real masters of the mystic arts can attempt those, and only with the collaboration of a Time Lord.

Casey doesn’t seem like a mystic master. He’s way too young, for starters. Yuichi wonders who opened the door to send him back. It would have had to have been someone incredible.

“Nice to meet you,” Yuichi says plainly, for lack of better thing to say.

So Leonardo’s—son??—from the future (??) knows him. And seems to think highly of him. The implications of that are doing something squirmy to Yuichi’s stomach. It’s a mostly good feeling.

“You, too,” Casey says. Since his pseudo-siblings are absolutely unwilling to let him feel embarrassed, he musters up a shy smile. “I always wondered how you and sensei met. You guys would make up a different story every time I asked.”

“Oh?” Michelangelo asks with a menacing amount of real interest.

“ANYway,” Leonardo says loudly, then unceremoniously throws the human under the bus. “Casey was just saying he was hungry. Miguel, didn’t you make him some—”

“Ohmigosh, the chocolate-banana muffins!” Michelangelo squares his shoulders and folds his arms, the playfulness bleeding from him. “Hey. Casey, when you’re hungry, you tell somebody. That was the deal.”

Leonardo interjects, “He told me, Doc. That counts.”

“Come on, Mas—Mikey.” Casey sets the Switch down and swings his legs over the side of the bed, hopping to his feet with a level of grace Yuichi doesn’t usually observe in humans. “Can you show me where they are?”

He smiles at Yuichi as he passes him, then grabs Mikey by the shoulders and carts him out of the room. He goes with a lot of unspoken trust in Yuichi’s character, like if there’s anyone Leonardo is safe with, it’s him.

The doors close behind them, and then it’s just Leonardo and Yuichi and the destroyed-farmbotto-shaped elephant in the room.

Leonardo starts to pluck anxiously at his cast. One of the glittery stickers is peeling. His golden eyes dart up, trying to read what’s on Yuichi’s mind from studying his face. Yuichi finds himself thinking, with equal parts exasperation and fondness, that he could just ask.

“I, uh,” Leonardo says, “I should—I want to apologize for the—”

“Finish that thought and I’m going to fight you,” Yuichi cuts him off plainly. “I’ve already explained this in every possible way I can think of, but I’ll try again anyway. The robot does not matter. I break them all the time and no one has ever disowned me.”

He can feel himself relenting in face of the striped turtle’s obvious discomfort. He takes a few steps into the room and sinks into a beanbag chair. Leonardo’s eyes follow him, and when Yuichi nudges their feet together, the hint of a smile touches the corners of his mouth.

“I just hate that it happened,” he admits very quietly.

Either he means the robot, or the invasion, or what happened after the invasion, or all of it all at once. Yuichi doesn’t dare interrupt, not when Leonardo has just taken this brave step forward into seemingly uncharted territory. He just nods to show he’s listening.

“And it feels like. I should, um.” Leonardo’s face twists darkly, anger and hurt and frustration, and he breathes in sharply through his nose, trying to temper it before he even has a chance to really feel it. Yuichi can still hear it in his voice when he says, “I should be better by now. I should be over it. It’s not about me.”

“What the fuck?” Yuichi blurts, sitting forward. “Yes it is.”

Leonardo couldn’t have looked more startled if someone dumped a bucket of ice-water over his head. Yuichi points right at Leonardo’s cracked plastron—that proof of his survival, the most beautiful gods-damned thing in the entire world as far as Yuichi is concerned.

“This,” he says firmly, “is yours.”

For awhile, neither of them speak. There’s music and noise happening somewhere else, Leonardo’s lively siblings hard at work breaching the peace of the otherwise silent underground.

Then Leonardo says, “I don’t like talking about it. But Mikey keeps saying I need to tell somebody. And I guess you’re volunteering.”

As if it isn’t painfully obvious that that’s what Yuichi is doing, when he’s all but begging on his knees for Leonardo to just talk to him. He heroically refrains from rolling his eyes. “I guess so.”

So Leonardo tells him:

“In the prison dimension. The—” He struggles to choke this word out, then finally manages, “The Krang. The general. He was holding me down. I was, uh. I was pretty scared. He was so mad. I don’t even know what he was saying, it was like sliding around in my brain, I couldn’t hold onto anything.”

Yuichi understands that. Those latent animal instincts overriding rational thought, simplifying everything until all that remains is the powerful urge to keep existing. To survive at all costs.

“Um. He leaned in and like—I don’t know, sneered at me—and his teeth were so close and I was so—I wasn’t thinking. I couldn’t breathe, I—” He lifts his hands, helplessly, then lowers them again. “There was rubble underneath me. Sharp metal, all in pieces, from one of his old ships. One of the pieces fit into my hand, and as soon as I had it, I just—I used it.” His voice is so small. “I gouged his eyes out. And then I found a place to hide.”

Oh. It feels like his heart is being ripped clean apart. Yuichi gets up and moves to the bed, sitting close enough to Leonardo that their shoulders bump. His pulse is flying. His stomach feels sour.

“I blinded him. His blood was oily and cold and got all over me. He screamed and rampaged for—hours? Days? I don’t.” Leonardo blinks, far away. “I don’t know. I spent most of my time there hiding. Tucked all the way inside my shell, like a—like a hurt animal. Not much of a hero, huh?”

Somehow, Leonardo is ashamed of himself for this. As if it was cowardly. As if he should have managed to incapacitate a warrior ten times his size and strength in a more honorable way. Like he wanted a nicer truth to give his family.

Yuichi closes his eyes and tries to imagine the prison dimension. Raphael described it haltingly, the glimpse he saw of it through Michelangelo’s portal. Dull grays and ghost ships and an Arctic chill, this horrible place the sun has never touched.

Now he tries to imagine Leonardo there, injured and frightened, all alone with a monster.

He wonders if he would have had the strength of heart and mind to throw himself into hell to protect his friends and family, to save that nebulous concept of “the whole world.” He likes to think he would, but he doesn’t know. How could anybody know until they were there, with the choice in front of them?

Yuichi thinks Leonardo is amazing. He has no idea how Leonardo can think of himself as anything less than amazing. He’s glad the Krang is blind. He would be even more glad if the Krang was dead.

“I don’t like to talk about it,” Leonardo says again, hushed and haunted. “I’m afraid they’ll hate me for it someday. When they’re done being relieved I’m alive.”

I’m in love with an idiot, Yuichi thinks.

Oh, wait.

He’s in love with this idiot.

It isn’t even a surprise. The truth goes down easily, because somewhere along the line he knew that already. Now he’s just—sinking into it. Looking at Leonardo and realizing what this fullness in his chest actually means.

Yuichi was pulled into Leonardo’s orbit from almost day one—the sun and the moon. Months of passing by each other, never speaking, their lives never overlapping. Wanting so badly to approach that full, lively table, second-guessing it every time, always backing out at the last second. The hours and hours he spent agonizing over it. Finally taking the leap. Rewarded impossibly by Leonardo’s interest and curiosity and his smile.

Those precious afternoons in the dining room of the restaraunt, arguing hotly from opposite sides of the same booth, leaning in to put their heads together to watch videos on Leonardo’s phone. Yuichi clinging to Leonardo’s attention, hoarding gold like a miser, because he only ever wanted Leonardo to look at him.

Of course he’d end up here. Where the hell else was he gonna go?

“They would do anything for you,” he hears himself saying. “Do you have any idea how much you mean to them?”

“I do!” Leonardo says quickly. “I just. I’m scared anyway.”

“Tell them that,” Yuichi implores urgently. “Let’s go tell them right now.”

Leonardo stares at him like he’s gone crazy. Yuichi loves him.

“I’ll go with you,” he says, offering his hand. He thinks he’s trembling. His body feels too small to contain the monumental reality he’s just discovered. “You’re not alone, Leo.”

That gets him a choked laugh. Leonardo grabs his hand and holds it almost desperately, as if Yuichi is too good to be true. As if he might do something crazy and impossible if Leonardo lets go, like walk away.

Not in this lifetime. Yuichi never wants to do anything but walk towards Leonardo for all the rest of his days.

They go find his siblings. It isn’t hard, they just have to follow all the noise.

Something chaotic is happening in the kitchen. Michelangelo is perched on Raphael’s carapace, elbows parked on his big brother’s shoulder and chin propped in his hands to watch the show. Raphael is trying to gently extract a hot pot of coffee from Donatello’s hands and Donatello is trying to drink from it directly. Casey is sitting on the counter, eating a huge lopsided muffin with an expression of doe-eyed wonder on his face.

They all look up when Leonardo and Yuichi come in. Leonardo’s step falters under the sudden scrutiny. He clutches Yuichi’s hand tighter, his grip bruising. Like somehow—somehow—Yuichi’s presence beside him makes him feel brave.

It’s okay, Yuichi tries to tell him, squeezing back. I’m not going anywhere.

[yourdemiurge]

hello mady i am extremely late i just finished reading erik's chapter! this week's been so busy! I saw that you had updated and i was ripping my hair out because i couldn't find time to read but i finally did it today. I am proud to say that reading it has only made me rip out more of my hair I am confused, terrified, heartbroken, angry, gobsmacked, jumping out of the balcony because WHAT IS GOING ONNN AAAAA

the scene about the bird really had me screaming wtf!!!  I was so confused why wille told erik he didnt love simon that one day and now it makes sense oh my god- (i really hope im not clowning) i had to go read chapter 4 again and the way wilhelm asked erik "why did you do that" makes sense nowwww I love how the everything's coming together this is so exciting MADY

THE CONVERSATION BETWEEN ERIK AND SARA TOOO OH MY GOD (again hope im not clowning that'll be very embarrassing when the fic comes to and end)

getting more insight about the characters is so interesting, loved the part about erik's hillerska days. I hate him now but that's okay he deserves it.

I legit wasn't suspicious of erik as much as i was in august but good lord you've just plucked my pea brain out and tossed it into an endless pit. i literally sat still staring at the wall for like 5 minutes after reading the chapter. I already had trust issues they are multiplied now.

the conversation of a royal wedding made me cry btw that was very heart wrenching i did not want that today (do it again i love sadness)

almost forgot to mention that i absolutely am in love with the chess metaphor! your writing is so freaking goooood

as usual, can't wait for more mady! i can't even imagine how good it'll feel to re-read the whole fic again once it's finished and find that the clues were there all along! 

i also did a little something because i had time today 👉🏼👈🏼 I've been thinking about doing this for a while because i really love tdlp and i so badly wanted to make a cover! im not good but i tried! there's two with only a tiny difference, im leaving both of them here because i am extremely indesicive. they are really choppy tho rip my butter fingers (i legit had to give sara rhinoplasty because I accidentally erased half of her nose and noticed it a little too late💀) i also didn't add marcus i swear i thought about it i just couldn't bring myself to do it- anyways, hope you like them hehe💜 take care of yourself!

Hello, it's so nice to see you back in my asks! Your message has me 😭

I don't really know how to thank you enough for all the love you've shown for my works, especially TDLP. I mean, just look at this reaction! And those wonderful edits! You're amazing and very talented. I wonder if you have Twitter? I was hoping to share this.

But seriously, thank you so much 💜💜💜

Your interpretation of Erik is right so far, and I'm glad you read his very first POV chapter because it all relates to each other. Brace yourself for the next chapters, we've just gone up the rollercoaster and we're about to take the plunge soon.

[erscogadatabase]

8: The Overly Long, Frequently Interrupted Chapter (Part 3)

Date: 1-2017 - 2-1-2017 IDST, 1-1-2017(?) EST

Nalitie: *blinks as she holds the gift box* What just happened...?

Dukermin: I don't know but I keep hearing Mettaton 's voice in my head

Mettaton: *won't shut up, trying to get Dukermin's attention*

Dukermin: SHUT UP FOR A SECOND AND LET ME THINK

Mettaton: ... *shuts up*

Nalitie: What were we doing...? Oh yeah. *writes a to and from on the gift box* To the Tartines!

Dukermin: Yay to the Tartines *to the place*

Nalitie: *runs into their door headfirst* OW

Vella: *answers the door* Nalitie...?

Dukermin: AnD DUKERMIN

Vella: Oh, hey Dukermin.

Nalitie: WE HAVE A GIFT FOR YOU! *proudly displays crappily wrapped gift box*

Vella: *takes it* Thanks...?

Dukermin: You're welcome! *to naltiie * What next

Nalitie: THE VOltas! We need to give them back the fake lightsaber I was fighting with... It's Shay's... Oh, and they can help with DunkelVision©.

Dukermin: K cool then we can actually explore there.

Nalitie: YAY *running to the Volta's house* *also runs into the door headfirst*

Mettaton: *in Dukermin's head* You should probably check her for a concussion after this, darling...

Dukermin: Yeah...

Hope: Oh, hello again.

Nalitie: *dizzily presents lightsaber, then passes out*

Dukermin: *slaps her awake* We brought this back, and we need help with some other stuff...nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

Nalitie: *jumps up* DUNKELVISIONNnnnnn.

Hope: DunkelVision?

Dukermin: We need a thing to see on the place. It's really dark there.

Hope: Have you tried flashlights?

Dukermin: Its still not light enough. We were imagining goggles of some sort...

Nalitie: The planet is literally made of darkness, so there's nothing for light to shine on.

Hope: Well, do you know how the planets' inhabitants see?

Dukermin: I'm not sure, but I think they're made of darkness as well...

Nalitie: We could bring one of them here? Oh, and you know that scientist that helped you with the Riewa shield? She can help too!

Dukermin: Cool, cool... so uh... should we do that now?

Nalitie: Yes. *opens a lunchbox* Shall we?

Dukermin: *lunchbox*

*and then they were on Dunkel*

Nalitie: Now, uh... how do we know where we'regoing? How are we gonna find someone?

Dukermin: Would it be a bad idea if I started hollering? *turns on a flashlight even tho it wont do any good*

Nalitie: Probably no... but knowing our luck we're gonna summon something other than what we want... let's try it though.

Dukermin: *hollering* COME OUT COME OUT WHEREVER YOU ARE! WE ARE FRIENDS

Dunkelians: *aren't seen, but can be heard talking in confusion, their voices closer than expected*

Dukermin: *to nalitie* Do these guys speak English? from what I remember no...

Nalitie: Well there was that one person, right...?

Dukermin: Oh yeah *somehwta quieter hollering* Anyone hear good at English? We have a business offer, I guess...

Dunkelian from Earlier: I know a little English.

Dukermin: Hello. We need someone to come with us to a different planet. Its for science.

Dunkelian: ... different... planet...?

Dukermin: Its fine. It's totally safe. And its pretty awesome. Would you be willing to come? Meet some new people?

Dunkelian: I cannot leave my... child? Is that the word?

Nalitie: Yep.

Dukermin: Do you know of someone who would be willing to come? Or you could bring your child with...?

Dunkelian: *hesitating and thinking* ... I will come with my child.

Dukermin: It'll be a great experience! Your child will love it probably!

Dunkelian: *grabbing Dukermin's hand so she knows where they are*

Dukermin: Oh hey... *time to lunchbox*

*And so they went back to Aeuton, where Hope (and Alphys) are waiting*

Dunkelian: *looks vaguely like a silhouette of Magnolia* *confused and squinting in the light*

Dunkelian Child/Baby: *looks like Tobias/Tasha from the fake Overmother VR crap*

Dukermin: *senses a plot twist on the horizon*

Nalitie: Alright then. May I ask your names?

Dunkelian: I am Ominglai. My child is named Stobia.

Dukermin: Nice to meet yall. *introduces Hope and Alphys*

Alphys: H-hello! We-we're going to, um, study your eyes, i-if that's alright.

Ominglai: *nods as permission*

Alphys: Great! *leads them into Hope's house*

Nalitie: What should we do in the meantime?

Dukermin: Anything else on our to-do list?

Nalitie: *pulls out their horribly long to-do list*

Mettaton: *in Dukermin's head obviously* I do still need a body...

Dukermin: Yeah and I need you out of my head.

Nalitie: Who are you talking to...?

Dukermin: Mettaton still needs a body.

Nalitie: We need Alphys for that... but you can talk to him in your head?

Dukermin: Yeah. What else have we got on the to-do list?

Nalitie: Oh yeah *looking* Power cap, big lunchbox portal construction, space jungle, Nervous Heights, Arlene Kirkland, Building your house, and war plans but... not yet. Hey, could I see your guys'sSOUL, too? For science?

Dukermin: Umm sure... Power cap is still far from ready... We could probably set up a construction crew for the portals... But IDK maybe we need our scientist for that?

Nalitie: Nah, the Shellmound people and I were doing okay... *multitasking and trying to summon Dukermin's SOUL*

Dukermin: Well, are the shellmound people working on anything right now? That's the chronological thing to do...

Nalitie: We can go over and ask while we're still here, yeah. *studying Dukermin+Mettaton's SOUL(s?)*

SOUL: *looks like Dukermin's normal SOUL, but with an upside down white part in the center* *there's also a spot of green in the center, with a shadow of multicolor in the very middle *

Dukermin: *wowed at intense SOUL* Um... to Shellmound I guess?

Nalitie: *puts Dukermin's SOUL back* Yeah... You have a lot of SOULs, by the way... *to Shellmound!*

Dukermin: *calling to a group of Shellmound people*

People: Yeah...?

Dukermin: We have a construction job! Who should I talk to about that?

People: *points to... behind by the beach? Where the crane is...*

Dukermin: *heading over there*

Construction Crew: *chilling*

Dukermin: BREAK TIMES OVER We need giant lunchbox portals installed at the poles. Please.

Crew: Oh yeah. Nalitie left, so we took a break. We'll get back to that. *lunchbox themselves back to the one they were working at*

Dukermin: *to the lunchbox they all went through* Umm thanks. Kay... anything else we can get squared away? *idk if thats an appropriate usage of the phjrase but YOU KNOW WHAT*

Nalitie: Your house, um... The space jungle... I've been wanting to check my space station anway.. Um... getting Arlene and Nervous Heights, but I'm kinda tired of going places outside of Erscoga...

Dukermin: Arlene and Nervous Heights would both be in the Miscellaneous dimension... we can do that later. So my house or the space jungle.

Nalitie: Wanna check out my space station? My couch is how we get there and dthat's on Termata, so we'd be there for yuour house after. All we need to do is plant a couple of seeds.

Dukermin: K cool *lunchbox time*

*and so they were at Nalities house*

*and then they probably got on the couch and launched into space*

Dukermin: So we are planting seeds now?

Nalitie: yep! I don't reall know how, but Homeless Henry referred me to someone who sells Space Juungle Seeds... He might be the same guy who we bought our tree from, actually... *second thoughts*

Dukermin: *flashbakcs to the christmas tree* Oh boy... *throwing seeds everywhere, probably reciting that old sunday school story bout the farmer planting seeds*

Nalitie: *also planting* Plants need water, sunlight, and nutrients... We havve LuxLight... U... *throws plant nutrients that she had from feeding Flowey*

Dukermin: now... water... Hmm... How to make it rain in space... Or super intense manual watering...

Nalitie: Can you do anything?

Dukermin: *summons a portal from idk the amazon jungle if thats a thing... A RAINFOREST OF SOME SORT to make it rain*

(A little bit of rain filters through the portal and onto the seeds. They start growing at a rapid pace.)

Dukermin: Whoooooaaah ITS BEAUTIFUL

*AND THEN THERE WAS A space jungle!*

Nalitie: I'm gonna go make sure my space station's systems are stil running, and then we should build you a house.

Dukermin: Yay! *to the space station*

Nalitie: *checking the stuff, and also trying to figure out what's happening with the weird goo on the floor*

Dukermin: *looking at the goo* Is that normal?

Nalitie: No... They appeared a while back, when I was showing the Plutonians around the space station... But like... only the main characters.

Dukermin: *magically produces a test tube and scoops up some* Maybe I'll inquire about it at a later date... Whenever we find ourselves back on Pluto...

Nalitie: Yeah. And when Alphys isn't busy. *sits on the couch* back to Termata?

Dukermin: Yup *couch*

(Back on Termata)

Dukermin: *running off to find the warehouse*

Nalitie: *following*

Dukermin: Okay... So under this crappy warehouse will be a man-made cave system... With an elevator... And also a secret staircase that leads to a secret room (WHERE THERE WILL BE A DRAGON SOMETIME MAYBE)

Nalitie: Alrighty then. *gets out her construction tools* *and also some low-power ground severers for digging*

Dukermin: Yay *time to ground sever!*

Nalitie: *carefully ground severing because nobody is going to come after them angrily if they see what's happening FINALLY*

Dukermin: *starts ground severing in a hurry instinctively but stops self*

(This Construction Montage™ is brought to you by.... McDonalds!)

Dukermin: That's pretty much it!

Nalitie: YAY! *phone buzzes* *looks at it* It's from Alphys. She says that she thinks she and Hope figured it out!

Dukermin: WHAT CONVENIENT TIMING Shall we go back to Aeuton then?

Nalitie: Yep! *already halfway in the lunchbox*

Dukermin: *more lunchbox time*

Hope, Alphys, Stobia and Ominglai: *waiting*

Alphys: *hands them some pairs of goggles when they get there*

Hope: You'll have to test them to make sure they work, and there's only four pairs, but here they are.

Dukermin: Awesome thank you! * sticks goggles on her head*

Nalitie: Yay! *grabbing Ominglai's hand and putting n her DunkelVision Goggles©* *reopens portal for Dunkel (pff)*

Dukermin: *portaling*

*and so they landed on Dunkel, right in the middle of town, with a bunch of Dunkelians who look like shadowy versions of people on the other planets and whose appearances shift a little once in a while sometimes*

Dukermin: *to Nalitie* This is a little weird... I recognize them... but don't...

Nalitie: Yeah... that one looks a little like you *points*

Dukermin: *goes over to meet doppelganger* Hello Wait I need an interpreter. *Calls to Ominglai*

Ominglai: *coming over* Yes?

Dukermin: Would you mind translating for me? I want you to tell my doppelganger that I would like to take a picture with them and ask their name.

Ominglai: Enha ies Dukermin. Uhwa reya polo?

Dukermin's Dunkelian Self: Eh yal Neirmkedu.

Ominglai: She is called Neirmkedu. *to Neirmkedu* Dukermin veumen uin panotag.

Neirmkedu: *nods in an affirmative*

Nalitie: *pulling out her phone*

Dukermin: lets hope this shows up *poses with doppelganger*

Nalitie: *puts her goggles over the camera, hoping it works* *takes the picture* Alright, cool. Either it's gonna be you guys... or Dukermin posing with nothing. *puts her goggles back on*

Dukermin: Either way it'll be a great photo. Thank you Neirmwhatever and Ominglai.

Omingali: *to Neirmkedu* Dukermin epen merna.

Nalitie: Shall we explore? *watching as Ominglai... shifts shape a little into someone who both looks the same and looks a little like Toriel at the same time*

Dukermin: Uh... Alright then. Hey, Ominglai, will you join us? Maybe show us some of the hot tourist attractions?

Ominglai: H...ot tourist attractions...?

Dukermin: Where do the cool kids hang out around here? Any interesting places?

Ominglai: *confused because English is not her native language but understands the last part* You want to know Dunkel?

Dukermin: Very much, yes.

Ominglai: Okay. *starts walking towards the center of the town*

Nalitie: *watching a Dunkelian who looks a little bit like Christine*

Dukermin: *notices* *to nalitie* I wonder if she watches people sleep too. I wonder if Dunkelians sleep?

Nalitie: *shrugs*

Ominglai: This is the town center. *gesturing around*

(You are standing in... well, a town center. There's a fountain and Dunkelians are roaming about.)

Dukermin: *using phone and goggles to snap pictures* *wishes she was wearing a button -down floral shirt*

Nalitie: Hm. Hey, Ominglai? Why does everyone look like people we know?

Ominglai: The Pondecle borrow parts of appearance from creatures on other planets and mix it with their appearance.

Dukermin: Pondecle, huh? Do you know if there are any living things on Dunkel other than the Pondecle?

Ominglai: Yes. They live in the... wilderness.

Dukermin: Ooh. Interesting. So... anything else we should know about Dunkel?

Ominglai: Do not go into wilderness without a weapon. You will die.

Dukermin: WOW THAT SOUNDS LIKE FUN! I really want to go there. And we've definitely got weapons *BC NECKLACE*

Mettaton: *still in Dukermin's head* Are you sure that's wise, darling?

Dukermin: I DON'T KNOW But it's interesting.

Nalitie: Mettaton again?

Ominglai: *thinking Dukermin is insane*

Dukermin: *Doesn't know of a way to explain SOULs to a non-english speaker so she can think whatever she want so think*

Nalitie: Dukermin is two people. Someone died, and they went into her.

Ominglai: *confused but whatever* The... what do you call them... beasts? They are not easy to kill.

Dukermin: OOH BEASTS! Beasts are cool. I do need an excuse to use my necklace.

Nalitie: But what if they don't die physically? Remember those things you fought in the VR? *thinking back to the very first Erscoga doc*

Dukermin: We don't have to go now. We can do more research. And we always figure it out...

Nalitie: True. Anything else we need here? Oh! We should talk to the leaders because... ALLIANCES!

Dukermin: YES I love alliances. Ominglai! Who's in charge here? Is there a mayor or president or king?

Ominglai: You want to meet the leader?

Dukermin: Yes, please.

Ominglai: I will take you to the Cinmpaden. *going in another direction*

Dukermin: Also, is there anything we should know about the Cinmpaden?

Ominglai: ... She will explain much... the Cinmpaden is very nice. Her name is Etommt.

Dukermin: Oh thank goodness. Does she speak English?

Ominglai: A little. I can help.

Dukermin: Awesome. *to nalitie* we need to find a way to repay her after all this.

Nalitie: We do... Hey, Ominglai? What kinds of things do you like? Also, does Dunkel have a currency?

Ominglai: The Pondecle have money, yes. I like warm blankets... and science. That is why I came to your planet. *goes to talk to the guards in front of a big-ish building*

Dukermin: *To nalitie* So we could get her some cool merch from our planets

Nalitie: Yeah, alright. I wonder if Alphys would have anything for her...

Dukermin: Probably. Also, we could get the two of them to hang out some more. They'd probably like each other.

Nalitie: Yeah, that works.

Ominglai: *gesturing* Come. The Cinmpaden will speak with you. *starts walking inside*

Dukermin: Awesome. *follows her in, and probably high fives a guard as she passes*

Nalitie: *following*

Etommt: *standing inside* You are the outside people, correct?

Dukermin: That sounds accurate, yes.

Nalitie: We're Nalitie and Dukermin, and we're the leaders of the dimension that your planet and also Lux are caught in.

Guard: *staring at Nalitie intently*

Etommt: Ah... You do not wish war, do you?

Dukermin: NO! Absolutely the opposite. We would like to be friends.

Etommt: You wish to ally? *appearance shifts a little bit, but she still looks sorta familiar*

Dukermin: Yes. And we would like your support in a, well a war, from an outside source.

Nalitie: A being named SAM wishes to wage war against our dimension, and we need every planet's support.

Etommt: ... Are you allied with... Lux?

Dukermin: Yes we are. Is that a problem?

Etommt: Lux is our sister planet, yes? The light one?

Dukermin: Yes.

Etommt: Then I cannot agree.

Dukermin: Why not?

Etommt: They are not our friend. A few... er... *looking to Ominglai because her English is better* Orbiaton...?

Ominglai: Years.

Etommt: A few years ago, they brought us war, and so we are enemies.

Dukermin: Oh boy. That wasn't while you were in this dimension was it? *time is difficult*

Etommt: I do not know. We do not what world we are in, if nobody comes to us. We move a lot.

Dukermin: Well, there will not be any enemies within our dimension anymore. We're all in this together *hsm ref*. And we ask that you ally with us, because we can uh make sure that nothing bad happens while you are in this dimension of ours.

Etommt: *still frowning?* Does the...

Ominglai: *whispers* queen

Etommt: Does the Queen of lux agree?

Dukermin: They didn't mention you, I don't think, when we discussed the alliance.

Etommt: I will not agree unless she promises not to war on us.

Dukermin: I'm sure we can get her to agree.

Nalitie: We can go ask her right now...

Dukermin: Should I write up a peace treaty or something?

Etommt: A written... treaty... will work, yes.

Dukermin: Okay. We will go talk to the lumoae or whatever .

Nalitie: Yep! We'll be back, and thank you for seeing us.

Ominglai and Etommt: *nod*

Dukermin: See you in a bit *to Lux*

Mettaton: *as they're leaving* Their queen is pretty beautiful, by the way, if I do say so myself... *commenting on the fact that she's basically his Dunkelian self, but a lady instead*

Dukermin: Mhm. *would ship it but it would basically be with himself*

*AND THEN THEY WRE ON LUX*

Nalitie: *hissing at the light and replacing her goggles with sunglasses* THAT WAS NOT A GOOD TRANSITION

Dukermin: *blinking and squinting* Bluh... Okay so *probably starts walking in the wrong direction*

Nalitie: *following because she doesn't know either*

Lumoae Guard: *halts them* Weh oar yao?!?

Dukermin: Um... *doesn't exactly know what was asked but introduces self anyway* I'm Dukermin.

Nalitie: ... English...?

Guard: Ingles... Ah. You are trespassing on the land of Gaval. Why do you intrude?

Dukermin: We were looking for the Lumoae palace. Do you know where it is? Is it around here?

Guard: The Lumoae have many palaces. Which land do you speak of?

Dukermin: Uuuuh... There isn't like a supreme palace or anything? Nalitie?

Guard: There is a Planetary Council, yes, but they do not have a single palace.

Nalitie: Where were we last time... Llllllicvitis...?

Dukermin: Oh that sounds familiar. By Menards.

Guard: Menards? That is the place that appeared in the Wild Lands. Licvitis neighbors those lands. I will show you to their border. *starts walking off in the direction they came from*

Dukermin: Awesome thanks. *following*

Nalitie: *follows too* *to Dukermin* I'm glad this guy knows English... We're going to have to learn a lot of language...

Dukermin: Yeaaaah. Hey Guard guy, what's your name?

Guard: I am Aalok.

Dukermin: Nice to meet you. So, do you know the deal around here? Like, if there's any internal conflict, or external conflict?

Aalok: Our countries are not fighting now, but there are a few who do not like each other. We have not had conflict with an outside force since the War of DunkeLux.

Dukermin: Hmm. Okay. Do you know if there are still ill feelings? Like, obviously everyone's not going to be elated about war, but if there are still a lot of hostile feelings toward Dunkel?

Aalok: There are a few who do not dislike Dunkel. But they are few and far between. Our planets have been adversaries for a very long time now... We are opposites, and it is the way things are.

Dukermin: Well that's a bummer cuz that won't work for us.

Aalok: This is the border. The Capital is straight ahead.

Dukermin: Thanks a lot, Aalok. *heads to capital*

Nalitie: Yeah, thanks! *following*

Aalok: *nods and returns to duty*

(One MTT-Brand Timeskip later...)

Sage: *is patrolling the capital* *sees Dukermin and Nalitie* You are back.

Dukermin: We have PAPERWORK! We're heading to the capital.

Sage: ... You are in the capital.

Dukermin: Palace, is what I meant *pfft*

Sage: Ah, you wish to speak with the Queen again?

Dukermin: Yeah... About Dunkel and alliances

Sage: ... Dunkel... Do you wish me to lead you?

Dukermin: Sure, it would be nice to catch up.

Sage: Of course. *leading them to the palace*

Dukermin: So... how's life been?

Sage: It is good. We have had many births in the previous months, but the Princess has not returned.

Dukermin: Hmm. So what, she's missing?

Sage: She ran away, and the guards have not been able to find her. Her sister continues to send letters, but she has not replied to them...

Dukermin: Do you know why she ran away? There was no chance she was abducted or something?

Sage: *a little bit too quickly* No. I do not know anything about the Princess's motives, but she was not taken from us.

Dukermin: *suspicious* This seems like kind of a big deal...

Sage: *almost coldly...?* It does not matter. The kingdom has Adr--Princess Adrienne.

Dukermin: *quietly to Nalitie* Um yeah, so this Adrienne girl seems like a shifty character. *assuming that adrienne kidnapped her sister so she could be queen and covered it up cuz all is fair in love and POLITICS*

Nalitie: *shrugs*

Sage: *leading them up the steps of the palace and inside silently*

(later, inside with the queen)

Anora: Ah, Dukermin, Nalitie, do you need something?

Dukermin: A little bit yeah. Would you be cool with negotiating a treaty with us? About Dunkel and NOT warring on them?

Anora: We were not planning a war.

Dukermin: Yeah, we figured that much. Dunkel isn't convinced though. We brought PAPERWORK! So if you're alright with it...

Anora: And you are sure they will not attack us?

Dukermin: Dunkel doesn't want war. We'll make them sign a treaty as well. Once we can promise that you won't start a war, they'll ally with us and then we can make sure there is nothing but peace in the dimension *YAY*

Nalitie: We need every planet's support in order to defeat and defend against SAM, and Dunkel won't ally with us unless you make peace with them as well.

Anora: ... I suppose it would not hurt... We are having... issues here in Licvitis, and it would be nice to not worry about Dunkel.

Dukermin: Is it about the princess? *handing her the papers*

Anora: ... It has been a long time since I have seen my daughter... *signs* You will need the Plannetary Council to agree as well.

Dukermin: Yeah. Thanks a lot. And we'll do what we can about the princess. Because allies.

Anora: You needn't worry about that... you are preparing defense against SAM, yes? And I will have the others sign, if you need.

Dukermin: Sometimes we get bored while our scientists are doing stuff, so you never know. And other signatures would be great.

Anora: I will collect them. *sends the treaty off with a person to the Council*

(ANOTHER MTT-BRAND Timeskip later...)

Anora: *hands them the now signed treaty* I have done what I can. If Dunkel does not wish war, then we do not either.

Dukermin: Great! So Dunkel then.

*TO DUNKEL*

(On Dunkel....)

Dukermin: *strapping on goggles* *starts heading off to the Cwhatever*

(Back with Etommt... and Ominglai is there too because REASONS)

Dukermin: Lux agreed not to war. They weren't planning on war anyway. You agree not to war, as well?

Etommt: You have the treaty?

Dukermin: Mhm. *gives it to her* So if you agree not to war, you can sign here.

Etommt: ... Very well. *signs*

Dukermin: Great! So, are we allies now?

Etommt: yes.

Nalitie: *celebrating silently*

Dukermin: Yay! *wishes she had champagne to pour or somehing* So... We've got some other things. Like... We have lunchbox portals if you'd like to travel to other planets...

Nalitie: *grabs a couple and offers them to Etommt* They're really easy to use. You just pick where you want to go and step inside.

Etommt: *takes the portals*

Nalitie: And do we have permission to build on Dunkel maybe? Because we would like to construct bigger portals on all of the planets, right?

Dukermin: And of course we won't build anything without your permission... But yeah, bigger portals...

Etommt: You may. And you wish us to fight agains this SAM, yes?

Dukermin: I mean, it would be great if you would... But if you do not wish to fight, it's nice just to have your support, or maybe you could supply us...

Etommt: We will support you when the time comes. Is there anything else you wish?

Dukermin: Ummm... Not that I can think of... We can explore everything right...? Nalitie...?

Nalitie: I mean, I don't see why not.

Etommt: You may explore as you wish, but respect our temples and places of history, and it will be wise to stray from the wild.

Dukermin: Of course! We're always respectful and NEVER destructive AT ALL!

Nalitie: Yep! Totally safe to be around!

Dukermin: So, yeah! It's been great meeting you!

Etommt: Likewise. *English knowledge has suddenly improved*

Nalitie: *gets a text from the workers on Termata* Oh, hey, they just finished the first of the portals.

Dukermin: Yay!

~•*•~

(Previous)

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[arasei]

Halloo halloooo! I checked your old fic recs and I’m now reading Little Hell by Countingcrows (currently at chapt. 9), and I’m loving it soo soo muchh so farr! It haven’t updated in a long while though. Will it ever update again, I wonder? :((

That said, do you, by any chance, have more okikagu— or just gen gintama— fic reqs?

Ps. I have been binge watching your fics and now at Hotel Del Sol. You mentioned writing about the mafia AU multi-fic in there, so I’m soo soo very excited to read it next!! ♡

Hello!!! It's awesome to see there are still plenty of okikagu readers out there, thank you for keeping us authors going! I can't wait for you to begin reading the mafia au, I'm very excited about the story 🤭 I hope you enjoy Hotel Del Sol!

I actually still chat with CountingCrows to this day haha, she was very happy to hear your praise but she told me to relay to you that she's a sagittarius and therefore terrible when it comes to commitments hfkbgdmd (I, however, am an aries and am nothing if not persuasive; I don't wanna get your hopes up, but 2022 may finally be the year of Little Hell's return 👀)

As for recs, I have plenty to go around!

---

OKIKAGU FICS

Not sure how old you are, but some of these fics lean or the mature side of things (smut, death etc) so be warned 👀

Innocence and Darkness by blunderingcloudwalk (18+)

One night is all it takes to turn their worlds upside-down.

This fic is sooooo well written, the first few chapters hurt a LOT cuz of all the angst but I promise you it gets better. The latest chapter was super fluffy and sweet, I can't wait to read more from this author!

I choose to be happy by onefortheluna

When he'd collapsed in that alley way, he'd really thought it was finally his time. All these images, these memories, they started flashing before his eyes.

He was sure if he called for help someone would hear and come. If he forced himself to he could get himself to stand and drag himself out of the darkness.

Instead, he stayed there. He's realizing that he's actually been waiting for this moment to come. And now that it's here, he won't let it slip out of his hands.

Yeah, may be he silently did pray for this every day of his life. An escape. A get away. Anything that would take him to his sister.

He's a jerk. He's an ass. He's a piece of shit. Selfish and cruel and a coward and he deserves to die alone.

-

She's staring at her lap, and he stares at her back. When she speaks, he can barely hear her. She says he's sick. Her voice is so small.

Is it something serious.

She doesn't answer. It can be treated, is what she says.

What is it?

Cancer.

He pauses. Oh.

Yeah. His sister had cancer too.

I haven't finished this fic yet but it's been on my to do list for a LONG time, it provides great insight into Sougo's character and I remember reading it at 1am and crying real bad, it was so so good 😭

Killer by Advocaat (18+)

In the glamorous, perfumed pleasure paradise of Yoshiwara, a discreet nighttime killer has sunk their fangs. Girls are being murdered in their futons and Hinowa and Tsukuyo determine that the only way to lure out the perpetrator is to dangle a bait he can't resist.

Enter: Kagura

AAAAAAAA this fic is truly one of a kind, so much mystery and drama, and it's written so well! The pacing is fantastic and the plot easily draws you in! The only problem is that the author hasn't updated in a while which is a shame since the story was getting so good. I'd still recommend reading it tho, you never know when they might suddenly come back haha

Lacuna by aruminiumu (18+)

The Shinsengumi are investigating a series of kidnappings all throughout Edo, the severity of which necessitates unorthodox alliances with partners both willing and unwilling alike.

Sougo struggles to play nice with others; Kagura gets caught up in others' messes. Everything is different and nothing has changed.

I read this one a while back so I don't remember much of it (I also don't remember if I finished it hfrhtjdm) but it was super funny, and the plot was interesting! Kamui is also a major character which is always fun 😉

Captain Goes Down with the Ship by aruminiumu

Series of random, unrelated interactions between and around Sougo and Kagura.

Story tones and styles will depend on my mood, so hopefully there’s a bit of something for everyone.

Another fic by the author of Lacuna, they have such great humour. I read this one last year so again, I don't remember much about it (sorry aruminiumu hhhgg), but as mentioned in the summary, it's a collection of funny short stories rather than one overarching plot.

Kids Will Be Kids by Kingfishers_game

"Something was wrong. Abuto had known his commander quite a long time, and over the years, he’d become attuned to Kamui’s different expressions. It could be difficult to discern actual thoughts from the commander’s face, given that he was almost always smiling, but Abuto thought he'd become fairly adept at it.

And now he knew something was wrong, because Kamui was beaming like a kid on Christmas morning."

...

A recipe for disaster with three ingredients:

1) a police officer with a sadistic streak

2) a bloodthirsty space pirate

3) the only thing in the entire universe that can get them on the same side—a girl. Of course.

This fic hasn't updated since 2020 which is a travesty because it was crazy good 😭😭😭 I'm not sure where the author went, but I hope they're okay. If you don't want to read an unfinished fic, they have other okkg shorts that you can check out!

A Seasonal Affair by purple_umbrella

Winning her over had nothing to do with flowers, dinners by candlelight, or whispered affections. He only kept barreling into her life to harass her. There wasn’t ever a chance she’d fall for anyone else, really.

I read this one years ago, it was rlly cute! Yet another author with plenty of okkg fics to go around, so do check those out as well 😌

Change of Plans by Saffyyy

Becoming his wife is definitely not something she would have ever expected, but she gets used to it.

Came across this one while looking for fics to rec, it's super cute! This author actually writes a LOT of domestic okkg, I highly recommend browsing their other works if you ever run out of stuff to read

Nothing by passivagrestiv

A warning dies in his throat as the wine comically spills on her face.

“Fuck,” she sputters and then blows her stinging nose furiously.

“Serves you right,” he sniggers.

(For Sougo, there's nothing like doing nothing with her.)

More! Domestic!! Okikagu!!! This fic was soooo cute, I think it's meant to be set in covid times since they're living together in quarantine, and their daily shenanigans are so sweet.

---

GENERAL FICS

Schoolyard Children by unidentifiedpie

"You're a wizard. Didn't you read the letter?"

(Shouyou tries to invite Gintoki to Hogwarts. Before he can get a word out, Gintoki tries to shoot him. Things don't get much better from there.

Or: Hogwarts AU in which the joui four are wizards, Shouyou is the headmaster, and Otose is very done with it all.)

This fic lives in my mind rent free. I hate that it only has one chapter, but it's so good 😭

Antigravity by unidentifiedpie

Six months after the world ends, a samurai and a little girl walk into a bar.

The Joui war was cut short on account of the Earth being blown up. In an unnoticed corner of the universe, Otose watches a seventeen year old Gintoki attempt to raise a four year old Kagura.

Dadtoki. That's it, that's the fic. This one was also written by unidentifiedpie, who is an amazing author. I actually recommend all of their fics because they're all very introspective (not to mention beautifully written), but I'm especially singling out these two because of how deep of an impression they left on me

Pandemonium by Xparrot

The Yorozuya trio gets an unexpected reward. They really should've checked their daily horoscope before accepting: Beware of old women bearing gifts, don't count your lizards before they're hatched, and be careful when life seems too good to be true, because it might be a sign that everything is soon going to go very, very badly.

I never finished this one, but it's very popular in the Gintama community. Let me know your thoughts on this one if you end up giving it a go because I genuinely don't remember much about it.

---

Aaaaand that's it! Unfortunately, I don't have a lot of general recs and I'm sure I've missed plenty of good fics, so if anybody wants to recommend others in the comments, pls feel free to jump in and add to the list!

[andvys]

Longing (part 13)

Warnings: angst, some fluff

Pairing: Ellie Williams x reader

Author’s note: this chapter is kinda short but I still wanted to give you guys something so here you go 💕 next chapter might take a while tho, I’m not sure yet.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.” Ellie answered, running her hand up and down your arm. You were still laying on the couch, naked under the thin blanket. You were fully on top of her, your head on her chest.

“Is that ‘chemical burn’ a bite?” You asked looking up at her.

“Yeah, you put the pieces together huh?” She asked, looking down on you. Nodding your head, “kinda always thought this story was bullshit but I didn’t think that it could be a bite from an infected.” Tracing her tattoo.

“Do you wanna know the story?” She asked, brushing a piece of hair behind your ear.

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to Ellie.” You said, not wanting to make her uncomfortable.

“I want to.” She said, rubbing your back softly.

“Alright.”

She began telling you about Riley, she first told you the story of their friendship and how she always had a crush on her. It was cute hearing her talk about her teenage years. Comparing them to yours, they seemed normal, your teenage years were brutal, you were forced to do things, horrible things. She told you about her and Joel, how they met and bonded over time and then she told you about what happened at the hospital, what Joel did to get her out of there and how he lied to her about it, you never knew what happened between them but now you understood.

You got why she was angry at him for keeping something like that from her but you didn’t agree with her opinion on this. You knew the fireflies, you knew what they did and you sure as hell didn’t support what they were willing to do to get a vaccine. Killing an innocent girl for a vaccine that didn’t even have a guarantee that it could work, seemed wrong to you.

Ellie looked down at, she wanted to know what was going through your head. You didn’t say anything yet and you seemed to be deep in thought, processing all the information you just got.

Looking up at her, you leaned in pecking her lips softly. “Can I be honest with you?” You asked, stroking her cheek.

“Of course.”

“You won’t agree with me on this but what Joel did.. it was right.” Furrowing her brows at you she went to say something but you didn’t let her. “There was no guarantee that it would’ve worked. My dad was a firefly.. h-he told me some of the horrible things they’ve done to people. How they experimented on them and even turned them into those things just to see if they’re new ‘cure’ would work. Ever since the outbreak, they’ve been promising people a cure and yet they always come out empty handed. You being immune, has got nothing to do with a cure, your blood might be more advanced or something, maybe there are more like you around the world and maybe in the future most people will be immune.” She seemed to process your words, not knowing what to say, she looked up at the ceiling.

“And Joel, he loved you ellie. He would’ve done anything for you. He decided that it wasn’t worth to live in a ‘better world’ knowing that you weren’t a part of it. He was okay with living in this horrible world as long as you’re alive and well I would’ve done the same thing if I was him.” She looked at you, eyes glistening with tears.

“Ellie I’d rather spent my life living in a world where there’s a possibility that I could die out there every time I go out than living in a peaceful world knowing that you don’t even get to be a part of it.” You said, wiping her tears away, you kissed her cheek. She couldn’t believe that you’d rather live in this hell with her than even thinking about the possibility of living a safe and healthy life, without her.

“I let him down.” She whispered, letting more tears fall. “And I never got the chance to forgive him.”

She was feeling guilt. You knew this ugly feeling all to well and you wouldn’t let it destroy her. She was suffering for having treated Joel bad all these years but beating herself up for it wouldn’t bring him back.

“He knows Ellie.” You whispered, hugging her. You felt her pain, you knew exactly what she was going through.

“Joel loved you like his own daughter, no matter what. He wouldn’t want you to beat yourself up like that okay?” Grabbing her face in your hands. “Don’t do this to yourself Ellie, it’s easy to lose yourself in this darkness so fight it, no matter what.” Wiping her tears away, you pressed a kiss on her cheek. “I’m here with you.”

“Thank you babe.” Hugging you close to her, she kissed her forehead. You knew what she was going through right now, you knew because you felt like that too. Ellie couldn’t forgive herself for the way she treated Joel and you couldn’t forgive yourself for saving Abby.

You always tried to do the right thing, helping wherever you could, helping whoever you could and yet you felt like you were a bad person. You saved Joel’s killer. You saved a boy you shouldn’t have saved when you were 14 years old. You always tried saving everyone and in the process of doing so, you started losing yourself.

You realized most people you saved ended up being bad and you’d have to kill them in the end. Abby would be no exception. You were going to kill her, you promised yourself that. For Joel.

You still had nightmares of Joel blaming you for his death before killing you. You knew it wasn’t real, you knew it was your mind making it up because of the guilt you were feeling. This wasn’t Joel, he would never blame you for anything, let alone kill you but it still made you feel bad. It was exhausting and you were tired all the damn time. Your mind either plagued your with nightmares or with Joel’s death, you weren’t sure how long you could keep going like that but you had to stay strong for Ellie, you acted like you were fine, you didn’t show her how weak you actually felt. You had to pull through at least until Abby was dead, you owed this to her, you owed this to Joel.

Waking up it was still dark out. Both you and Ellie fell asleep after your conversation. Looking down at her, she was fast asleep, breathing softly, her arm was around you, keeping you close to her in her sleep, you’d love to stay like that with her for a while longer but you still had to check out the rest of the theater, so you got up carefully making sure you wouldn’t wake her up. Putting your clothes on, you looked at Ellie one more time before going further inside the theater, to see what you would find.

You went up the stairs, and grabbed whatever you could find that would be useful later. You thought about last night. You weren’t sure if what you and Ellie did was right, you wanted her but you had to admit to yourself that it was an act of frustration. You were on the road for weeks, facing bad people, infected and what not, life wouldn’t let you catch a break and the minute you had time to relax you and Ellie used it to forget about everything else for a while, it helped but it wasn’t the right time. You didn’t regret it, not at all. You enjoyed every second of it and would do it again but maybe at a more appropriate time. You just hoped Ellie wouldn’t regret it.

You found an old radio and decided to try and fix it after you got the generator started. It took you a while but you finally managed to fix it. Listening in on them you found some stuff out that would definitely be useful to you. Sitting on the floor you looked at the map and then at the Polaroids, grabbing the one with Abby and the guy named Owen, you looked at it. Deep in thought you didn’t hear Ellie come inside until she said your name softly. Turning too look at her, you smiled at her. “Hey.”

“Hey babe”. Sitting down next to you. “You good?” She asked, searching for the look of regret on your face. She woke up with you gone and she feared that you changed your mind about her and felt bad for what you two did.

“I am, you?” You asked, glancing at her quickly before looking down again. Feeling a little shy under her gaze.

“Me too.” She said, nervously rubbing her neck she looked at you, blushing at the marks around your neck, it was covered with hickeys and bruises. “Listen (y/n) you don’t- you don’t regret it do you?” Her question making you snap your head to the side, to look at her.

“No! No, god no Ellie.” You said, staring into her eyes now, intertwining your fingers with hers. Hating the fact that you made her feel like you regretted having sex with her.

Breathing out, she felt relieved at your words. For a second she thought you’d go back to the way you used to be a few weeks ago. Moving closer she kissed your temple before looking down at the map.

“I see you fixed the radio.. did you hear something?” She asked, taking polaroid of Abby and Owen in her hand looking at it.

You started explaining to her what you found out and where you’d have to go today, showing her on the map while talking about the WLF’s.

“We have to find Jesse.” You said, looking at the map in worry. You had no idea where he went and you didn’t know where to start looking for him.

“Do you think we should go back to the serevena hotel?” Ellie asked, noticing the concerned look on your face.

“I.. I don’t know. He wouldn’t be there anymore I think.” You said, sighing. “I don’t know what to do, I hope he’s okay.”

“I’m worried too but I’m sure he’s fine. Tommy’s out there as well, who knows maybe they ran into each other already.” Ellie said, shrugging.

“I hope so.” You whispered, grabbing the map off the floor you stuffed it in your backpack. “Should we get going?” You asked, standing up.

Ellie looked up at you, frowning slightly, she was worried about what you were going to be facing today, she didn’t want you to be in danger but she knew you sure as hell wouldn’t sit back and wait for her here.

“Yeah.” She said, getting up.

Nodding your head you turned around to go out the door but a hand pulled you back. Facing Ellie again, she pulled you closer hands on your cheeks she leaned in pressing her lips against yours softly. Sighing into the kiss you closed your eyes, kissing her back with your arms around her neck. Enjoying this moment before you’d go out into this shitty world.

Pulling away from each other, you opened your eyes, gazing into her eyes you pecked her lips once more. “Alright let’s go.” You whispered, grabbing her hand. “Yeah”. Squeezing your hand she followed you out.

You didn’t know what was going to happen today. You didn’t know what kinds of threats you’d be facing but you knew that you’d keep Ellie safe and she would keep you safe.

[the-witches-you-couldnt-burn]

When it all falls down

Hi guys! I was meant to post this earlier but life happens :(

I have so many fic ideas but not enough time to write & post them. The completion of this fic will be my priority tho!

(Edit) previously named ‘Life as a pawn within the Devil’s deal’

Ao3

Story Masterlist

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CHAPTER THREE: Buried alive

Warnings: injuries, sexism, pre-panic attack symptoms, torture (not explicit) and mentions of child birth (and death caused from it), forced pregnancy & imprisonment.

The haunting voice of the king cut through the foreboding silence that coated the room. It bounced off of the decrepit stone pillars, and the ceiling crumpled under the reverberation.

Lady Talia dragged her towards the throne, her body screaming to get far away from this man. Marinette was pushed forward, forced to kneel before ‘her King’. His throne was made out of a rusted iron and withered thorns peaked through its cracks. The king, although hidden from the world, was adorned in every finery known to man. A deep emerald green tunic and pants were joined by a solid gold belt. Gemstones lined the clasps of his cape, connected by three gold chains of differing lengths. The crown that graced his salt & pepper coloured hair consisted of polished obsidian jewels embedded into the golden spires.

Mari’s eyebrows furrowed. She was taught that each of the royal family were only garbed in opals & obsidian (as they were the family’s signature gems) plus their birth jewel. But his majesty seemed to be wearing more jewels then she could name, none seemed more important than the rest.

“So this is the one you chose as Damian’s promised?” He glared down at her. The girl kneeling before him had nothing special about her in appearance other than expensive clothing. What enraged him was that she kept her head high, but her eyes never met his, they were locked on the wall behind him. His frown deepened, his wrinkled skin pulled and folded; suggesting that a frown was a popular expression he wore. “She doesn’t look like much.” His toxic green eyes shifted to his daughter, “Are you sure you got the correct girl?”

“Yes father I have not failed you. This is Marinette Dupain-Cheng, future head of the Miraculous Order. She is their best warrior and will be an asset to the continuation of our bloodline.”

The Mistress’ nails dug into the girl’s shoulder, the pinpricking pain caused her to grimace. She stifled any thought of correcting the hag. It had been years since she took guardian ship of the Order, or in their terms; that she actually the current head. Some of her friends even had dubbed her as their ‘princess’ and that spread around the camp like a wildfire.

His burning gaze scanned every inch of her face before his eyes traveled down her body. Under his stare she felt violated, his contempt and lechery felt like hands running over her skin. “Her only duty is to produce strong heirs, don’t let her be deluded into becoming a hero.”

He waited for either woman to challenge him, it would be a fruitless venture but some still tried. If only his wife had produced a suitable heir, but Melisande had given him a daughter instead. That wretched woman had died during Talia’s birth, escaping her duty of giving him a son. As he reminisced on her, he was only plagued by the thought of how he could have married someone so weak.

He refused to marry again after her, he didn’t want his legacy to be tainted further. And although his daughter was born from weakness she had redeemed herself by birthing a son. Her spouse, Lord Wayne, wouldn’t have been his first pick, but their affair bore a strong prince. His daughter learnt from her mother’s failures and (under his guidance) had become one of his few trusted associates.

“Well?” He boomed, Marinette flinched away. Another sign of weakness. He raised an eyebrow at her, enticing her to comment. “What do you have to say about all this?”

‘What do I have to say?’ She repeated, this surely was a trap, a test. One wrong word and she would be done for. She wanted to scream that she was a warrior not an incubator, and yell at him for deceiving the world.

But she didn’t. Damian’s words from earlier that morning caused her to metaphorically bleed like an open wound.

Her eyes met his, and she is reminded of Damian’s eyes, a stunning evergreen forest comes to mind. But Ra’s eyes weren’t like Damian’s or even Talia’s, his eyes held so much scorn that made them worse then toxic. His eyes held a nuclear explosion behind them and memories of the suffering that came after.

“If the last empire failed,” She paused, taking a breath to conceal her malice. “Why do you think your’s won’t?”

“Because whilst the previous empire thought they were immortal—“ he leaned forward, his face inches away from hers. “I know I am.”

‘Is that how he lived? That is to say if he died in the first place.’ Her body subconsciously moved away but Talia held her in place, his breath was hot and suffocating. She sent a silent prayer to Damian that she was sorry, but the only way she could hold her tongue was if she stitched her lips shut.

-x-

A figure stumbled into the young couple’s room, leaning against the now closed door gasping for breath. Their entry was preceded by rushed footsteps and proceeded by the slam of the dark oak door. Damian watched from the smaller room, the expanse of the appartments was coated by darkness. The shadowed individual walked closer to the lit lantern sat atop the bedside table. The flickering incandescent, cast an orange light upon the person, revealing Damian’s first assumption; his bride, Marinette.

A sob escaped her quivering lips, and the prince noticed her gleaming tears creating trails down her pale cheeks. She collapsed on her bed, crying. He internally debated about whether to invade her space when she was in such a vulnerable state or give her the illusion of privacy.

Looking down at his hands, he remembered the grit of dried blood that once collected underneath his nails. His childhood (if you could call it that) was one of bloodshed and pain. The room looked bigger now and his breathing became infrequent. The bassinet by the window was stripped bare and now became a microcosm of the imprisonment and restriction he faced within the palace walls.

Hands clenched tightly into fists, his nails tempting with the idea of breaking the skin of his palms. He desperately grasped an invisible rope, willing it to ground him. Tremors shook Damian’s body as her cries returned to muffled sobs. ‘Grandfather would be disgusted,’ when had he become so weak?

She had cast a spell over him, projected her despair onto him. What was she crying about anyways? Being sad was being feeble, and being feeble lead to disloyalty.

He stood up, the internal debate was over, all the mental diplomats were slaughtered by the strongest; pride. Rubbing his eyes he broke out of her theurgy. He walked to the bedside, picking up a blanket along the way. When he reached her, body still racking whilst she blubbered, he wrapped the large grey blanket around her shoulders.

Marinette flinched on contact. A cloud could touch her and she still would’ve shied away. Her hair was a mess and stuck to her sweat coated skin. Craning her neck she looked up at her offender, only to find her groom.

Damian’s eyes. They were so similar to... His Highness’s eyes were the last this she saw before the pain penetrated her skull. Her throat was rubbed raw from her screaming which had melted into cries. Is she not even safe in the place she was meant to sleep?

“Take this as a warning—“ pain all she felt was pain, her ears rung from the sound of flesh beating flesh. “Next time you’ll know not to question things above your position.”

CRACK

She screamed.

Damian scanned her face, her eyes were puffy and red. But that wasn’t it. Her left lid looked darker than it should and her bottom lip was busted.

“Who did this to you.” He struggled to keep his tone neutral as she stared into his wide eyes. His mothers statement from several years ago flashed into his mind, “Her position is determined by this marriage Damian, and through you, the Order has a secure future. This union gives us more power and provides them with protection.”

Protection. What use was this marriage if it couldn’t supply the one thing her kin wanted for her; safety.

He looked down upon her beaten face, her skin was tender as blackish-blue bruises waged war. All of a sudden it didn’t matter who committed this atrocity, nor did his thirst for revenge. A pit formed deep within his chest, he had a feeling he knew the answer to his own question.

He turned, rushing over to the closet, Marinette’s arm burned at the removal of his hand. She tilted her head, wiping her eyes as she peered over, watching what he was doing. He had grabbed multiple sets of dark clothes before hastily walking into the bathroom, he returned with the empty linen laundry hamper.

He stuff the items into the hamper before turning back to her, the prince looked almost frantic. He marched back up to her, kneeling, he held her hand between his. Locking eyes with her, her jaggedly cut hair falling similar to that of a curtain as she tilted her head down.

“We have to leave.”

“What?” As if it was a reflex she responded before she could process what he said. ‘Leave?’ This was his home, his kingdom. Why would he want to leave. Her head hung as self-deprecating comments caused her to spiral, ‘I have caused him so much trouble that he feels the need to leave, so that he’s legacy isn’t disgraced further.’

“I cannot ask you to do that.” All of the snark and jest was torn from her leaving her as a husk. “Please,” Her hoarse voice cracked. “I do not wish to cause any more havoc.”

“And I cannot allow for anyone to harm you,” he paused, her eyes shimmered underneath the glow of the lantern light. “You are my wife.”

She softly smiled at the acknowledgment of their status, he had never called her anything other than her name. The ‘my wife’ comment didn’t mean much due to the nature of their arrangement but it still meant something, no matter how minuscule.

“We can’t leave, bad things will happen if we do.”

"There is never going to be a perfect answer." He squeezed her hand, an act of reassurance to give her some form of comfort. “Sometimes the choices we must make have cons alongside their pros."

Taglist:

@thesunniestdays @jayjayspixiepop @toodaloo-kangaroo

[sarahjtv]

BNHA Chapter 310 Spoiler Thoughts: “The First and Second Holders”

Some fan translations are out and it’s time to flex some thoughts out again!  I couldn’t do them last night because I didn’t have all the scan images with me and I didn’t want to jump the gun with only text descriptions.  Anyway, this was mainly an exposition chapter that properly introduces us to the second and third OFA Holders, especially the 2nd and what his relationship to the 1st is.  This might not be as long as others “Spoiler Thoughts” I’ve written, but let’s see:

First off, we have a colored cover page by Horikoshi-sensei himself!  It’s a solo page featuring Vigilante Deku and he looks badass!  Deku looks ready to kick ass and take names.  And, his Mid-Gauntlet is colored red like a lot of us thought and it adds to the theory that Melissa Shield did create it like she did with Deku’s Full-Gauntlet back in Two Heroes.

The chapter starts in a dark and rainy night.  A large woman (she’s like maybe 10ft tall; she’s taller than All Might who I think is 7ft) with a mutant-type quirk who’s getting attacked by some civilians because they think she’s a villain.  Deku jumps in to stop the attacks and the woman explains that she was just trying to go to one of the evacuation centers at a hero school.  Deku is kind enough to give her her umbrella back and reassure her that things will be ok.  

I gotta say that this whole situation is scarily close to real life right now.  I don’t like getting too political, but we live in a scary world where discrimination is, unfortunately, alive and well...  If you are a POC, you can be attacked from anywhere with the only reason being that “you’re a danger because of the skin you were born with”. It’s horrific, it’s disgusting, and it’s been around for a long time.  Even in the BNHA universe, there used to be cults solely dedicated to discriminating against mutant-type people (we learned this back in the My Villain Academia Arc).  So, like in the real world, this problem has risen again.  Thankfully, there are people like Deku and All Might who are more than willing to help someone in need regardless of who they are.  BNHA hits too close to home sometimes.  

Anyway, going back to the BNHA story.  Before All Might leaves to help the woman in his Batmobile, he hands Deku some Pork Katsu in a cute bento box wrapped in a bunny cloth!  Deku is visibly happy and thanks All Might for the meal.  This is so cute!  I’m so glad to see that All Might is making sure that Deku is being properly taken care of.  Boy needs to eat if he’s going to save the world.  I’m also glad that Deku can still show signs of happiness despite, well, everything.  I swear, if All Might doesn’t legally adopt Deku as his son by the time this series is over, I’m going to jump into this manga and force him to sign those documents myself. 

The next panel shows Deku standing on what looks like Tokyo’s famous Sky Tree (or Sky Egg if we’re going off what Vigilantes showed us).  He’s back to talking to the OFA Holders like they’re angels on his shoulders.  Banjo talks about how it’s like the world’s reverted back in time when things were worse and Deku responds that if he doesn’t use all of OFA’s power, he’ll never be able to defeat Shigaraki and AFO.  I know we’re in the final act, so Deku’s gotta get to 100% fast if he wants to win this war.  Last we checked, he was at 45%, but he might be at a higher percentage now since he’s unlocked En’s Smokescreen.  Also, Deku’s looking more and more like Batman each chapter and I gotta say that it really suits him.

Back to the Vestige Dream back when Deku was still in a coma after the war.  The 1st Holder begs the 2nd and 3rd to corporate with him so that they can provide their power to Deku.  The 1st calls the 2nd and 3rd “My Heroes” which causes some awkward silence lol.  Neither one is responding, so Banjo breaks the silence by suggesting that Deku learn everyone’s Quirks so that he’ll get used to them once he starts using them.  We learn why the 2nd and 3rd are the 1st’s heroes soon, but it’s actually a good idea for Deku to learn about all these different Quirks while he’s sleeping so that he’ll get a good idea on how to execute them when he wakes up.  It’s kind of a way of training for Deku just without actually using the Quirks themselves.  

The 3rd Holder (the one with the spiky ponytail and headband) starts to talk.  He says that the 1st, 2nd, and 3rd came from the “Harshest era of history”.  It was a time where AFO ruled all and peaked in power and control.  He was going to take over the whole world if the first 3 Holders didn’t step in to stop him.  My guess is that after AFO was defeated for the first time, society started to calm down and become more or less the world we knew before the War Arc.  So, things weren’t as bad during the 4th Holder’s era and so forth.  This would explain why Shinomori was able to hide in the forest for so long without being detected.  

And now the big part of the chapter: the 2nd Holder.  Who does in fact look A LOT like Bakugo.  Big difference is that he has a massive scar across his face.  I am aware of the whole “time travel” theory that people have going on with Bakugo and this dude, but I’m not on that train.  Instead, I think that the 2nd Holder is one of Bakugo’s ancestors.  Like, a really, really-great-grandfather.  Horikoshi doesn’t just design his characters for no reason.  The fact that the 2nd user looks so much like Bakugo, has a costume similar to Bakugo’s, and that future panels in this chapter straight up parallel that iconic scene with young Bakugo and Deku in the river only add fuel to this fire.  Unless Horikoshi says otherwise, this is the theory I’m sticking to: this “Ancestor” theory.

And we know of the 1st user’s real name now too, which is Yoichi!  If Horikoshi is keeping up with the “numbers in names” theme, then I’m positive that Yochi has the kanji for “One” somewhere in it.  And, if we’re going to believe AFO at all, then that means that the 1st user’s full name is Yoichi Shigaraki.  We don’t know AFO’s full name yet.  But, again, AFO could be lying with his last name, so I’m taking this one with a grain of salt.

Back to the 2nd Holder, he tells Yoichi that a lot of lives were sacrificed in order to stop AFO back then.  He believes that there is only victory or defeat in battle; that there’s no hope of saving their archenemy.  He has doubt about putting his faith in Deku because of this.  Given how the 3rd Holder still has his back turned too, I’m lead to believe that he also thinks Deku is crazy for wanting to save Shigaraki.  I don’t exactly blame them.  Really, none of us know if Deku will be successful in saving Shigaraki.  He might have to kill him in the end.  I think they should offer Deku help, but I don’t blame them for being at least a little skeptical.  

But, Yoichi reminds the 2nd and 3rd users that they saved Yoichi back when AFO locked him up to die.  They found Yoichi with the intention to kill him it seems, but the 2nd Holder showed sympathy for Yoichi and lent him a helping hand despite Yoichi being AFO’s little brother.  This is the parallel panel I was talking about.  Yoichi is kneeling down on the floor and the 2nd user is standing up extending his hand to help Yoichi.  I don’t even need to look back in the manga to know what inspired this.  Hell, I don’t even need to tell you!  We all know what Horikoshi was doing when he drew and wrote this.

Yoichi convinces him that he should believe in Deku as Yoichi does think Deku will save the day.  If the 2nd user didn’t extend his hand to help Yoichi, OFA wouldn’t have begun.  I think that the trust between these two is ultimately the reason why the 2nd user finally agreed to help Deku; the same with the 3rd user too.  And, kind of a tangent, but I really like how Horikoshi draws Yoichi and the 2nd user’s hands as they’re reaching for each other.  Horikoshi has always been really good with drawing hands like they’re facial expressions (something my ass could never do 😭) and this one shows kindness and empathy.  It’s almost like what would’ve happened if Bakugo accepted Deku’s hand for help when they were young instead of letting his pride and ego get in the way.  Oh, the parallels! 

Finally, the 2nd user speaks in present day telling Deku that they’re going full speed ahead now.  My guess is that Deku’s going to have to improve on OFA and the rest of his Quirks quickly in order to find and beat the LoV.  We are in the Final Act after all.  The chapter ends at a good place if we want to switch to the UA kids, which is honestly what I’m hoping for.  Again, I love Deku and his Vigilante adventures, but I miss the rest of the kids.  The new BNHA Exhibition in Japan apparently has a giant drawing of the main class, All Might, Aizawa, and Shinso in his new hero costume!  Which tells me that 1. Shinso probably took Deku’s place in the class for the time being, and 2. We’re definitely going to see the other kids again.  I’m hoping soon.  But, I wouldn’t be surprised if Horikoshi decided to continue focusing on Deku’s Vigilanteism and have him practice with he 2nd and 3rd Holder’s Quirks now that they’re working with him.  We’ll just have to see.

So, that’s it!  Solid chapter overall.  I’m glad we finally got to see the 3rd and 2nd Holder’s faces.  I think the “Kirishima is the 3rd Holder” theroy has been debunked at this point, but I’m still on the “2nd Holder is Bakugo’s ancestor” train.  The similarities and parallels are too strong for me to deny it.  Horikoshi-sensei, please confirm or deny soon 🙏.  We are getting break next week for Golden Week BTW!  All of Shonen Jump is actually, so no One Piece or JJK either (I’m not sure about Jump+, so we might still be getting some Spy X Family for example).  So, basically all our favorite mangakas are getting a well-deserved break as they should!  I hope they enjoy their vacation!  Waiting’s going to suck tho, I’m ngl about that...  Oh well, I’m willing to take the sacrifice if it means having healthy mangka.  Thankfully, we still have the anime and the new exhibition to tide us over until then.

Edit: OR NOT SINCE THE EXHIBITION IS TEMPORARILY CLOSED BECAUSE OF A CERTAIN PANDEMIC GOING NUTS IN JAPAN AFTER ONLY BEING OPEN FOR 2 DAYS 😭 

Edit: I went back to re-read the chapter and I completely missed the date for the next chapter (chapter 311) which is set to release on May 9th!  So, we’re actually getting a 2 week break instead.  Damn...  Sucks for us, but it’s good for mangaka to get breaks when they can especially considering their absolutely insane schedule.

Me reading this chapter:

[ourownsideimagines]

Hide My Wings Tonight: Not Another Gloomy Play (Chapter 5)

Surprise! Not dead! I suddenly got the oomph today to finish not one but TWO chapters. Chaoter Six will be posted later, but I figured after two years of waiting I would go ahead and put up Chapter 5 right now.

Read it here on AO3!

Or read it below the cut

Based on the one-shot request by @jinxthequeergirl

---

Aziraphale had not seen his sister filled with such joy in centuries as he did in the years following the beginning of her and Crowley’s arrangement. Not that he knew of said arrangement of course, but he didn’t question what his sister did as long as she was happy. He worried about her, that much was for sure, but after she’d blown off his question the first twenty times he’d stopped asking, and started to enjoy the smile she once again gave so freely.

And (name) enjoyed learning to dance. Her demonic partner was not the best at the task, but they were learning together by watching others, and interacting. No one would question their presence at parties and masquerades. And though (name) would never admit it, she enjoyed spending time with Crowley. There was something about him that drew her in. Perhaps that was just how demons were. Enticing to even the purest of minds. Or maybe just to her.

She didn’t like Crowley, Heaven’s no - how could she, he’s a demon - but his company was a nice change from her doting brother and the snobs up in Heaven.

And of course, with their first arrangement, came another one. One that would change the world forever

You see, arrangements can be a tricky thing. 

The one that (name) had with Crowley was simple enough - Crowley would help (name) learn any new dance she desired, as long as she was willing to help him with small things. She had been a bit reluctant to these terms at first, but found that there was some joy in her disobeying Heaven. It was like a huge fuck you to Gabriel behind his back.

Did his coat need mending? Simple enough - it might not look beautiful, but it was presentable. Did Crowley need a name? Most certainly, (name) could get that. Did he need help getting into somewhere he couldn’t get into otherwise? Not a problem, (name) was good at talking her way into places. Did he need Aziraphale distracted for a while while he did some misdeeds? (Name) could turn a blind eye and take her brother out to lunch. Whatever he asked for, (name) was willing to do it.

Aziraphale had caught onto them rather quickly, much to (name)’s dismay. He’d been upset. He didn’t know about the dancing, but he knew that she’d been sneaking off to see Crowley and to help him with his hellish intentions. It had taken hours for (name) to get him to calm down and listen.

And that was how the second arrangement began. This one was just a bit trickier to get away with. After all, hiding something from Aziraphale was one thing. But hiding something from heaven was another - they had eyes everywhere. Even if it didn’t seem like it, someone was bound to be watching. And if not now, then later.

Aziraphale had been against the idea for so many years, helping  Crowley, or God forbid, getting Crowley’s help. But with the way (name) and Crowley insisted it could do us some good, how was he to resist?

So that was how it had been, for many years. The angels helped the demon, and the demon helped the angels. Heaven hadn’t noticed, and as far as (name) knew Hell hadn’t either. That didn’t mean any less sneaking around - Aziraphale refused to meet with Crowley privately. It always had to be in a crowd, somewhere inconspicuous.

And the Globe Theater during the preview of Shakespeare's new play, Hamlet, was anything but.

Aziraphale had promised a crowd, but (name) could count no more than fifteen heads among the crowd - that included the Bard himself, and the woman carrying snacks, Juliet. As they waited for Crowley, Aziraphale purchased himself a bunch of grapes, miracaling a coin out of nowhere.

“If you were going to do that,” (Name) said as Juliet walked away. “You could have just miracled yourself some grapes.”

“Now where would be the fun in that.” Aziraphale said, smiling down at the fruit before popping one of them into his mouth. He glanced around quickly. “He’s late.”

“Really, I hadn’t noticed.” She teased. “Stop looking so nervous. You’re the one who wanted to meet with him here.”

“Yes, well, I assumed there would be a much bigger crowd.”

“There’s never a crowd for a show like this.” (Name) argued. “People are depressed enough as is, they don’t want to be going to a show that will just make them feel worse.”

“I don’t feel any worse.” Aziaraphale argued.

“Yeah, well, you’re also not like everybody else.” The two were silent for a moment. Then, almost as if she could sense him, (name) turned her head and watched as Crowley sauntered into the arena. He saw them, and took no time at coming to stand beside (name).

“I thought you said we’d be inconspicuous here. Blend in with the crowd.” (Name) wanted to smile at this. Aziraphale, on the other hand, huffed, and ate another grape before he spoke.

“That was the idea.” He grumbled, glancing over at the demon. Remembering his manners, he offered the fruits to him. Crowley, however, ignored them. 

“Ah, hang on.” The demon grimaced. “This isn’t one of Shakespeare’s gloomy ones, is it?” He scrunched up his nose. “No wonder nobody’s here.” (Name) smiled at this.

“Shh, it’s him.” Aziraphale grasped his sister's arm, catching her attention.

“Prithee, gentles, madam.” He said. “Might I request a small favor? Could you, in your role as the audience, give us more to work with?” (name) tried not to frown at this, but she had never been very good at controlling her mouth - both what came out of it, and what shapes it decided to make. Shakespeare didn’t seem much interested in her tho, his eyes focused more on Aziaphale who asked;

“You mean, like when the ghost of his father came on, and I shouted ‘He’s behind you!’?”

“Just so!” Shakespeare said. “That was jolly helpful. Made everyone on the stage feel appreciated. A bit more of that.” (name) wanted to argue. She wanted to say that it made no sense, but she didn’t have the chance. “Good Master Burbage, please! Speak the lines trippingly.” The actor on stage didn’t take the advice too well, and (name) was sure he was ready to explode on the bard at any moment.

“I am wasting my time up here.” He hissed.

“No, you’re very good!” Aziraphale insisted. “Isn’t that right, my dear sister?”

“I-” She bit her tongue. Aziraphale has a bad habit of putting her on the spot like this. That, plus a loose tongue, was never a good pairing. “Yes. I just love all the… talking.” She said.

“And what does your friend think?” The actor asked, clearly looking towards Crowley.

“He’s not our friend. We’ve never met before, we don’t know each other-”

“I think you should get on with the play.” Crowley interrupted Aziraphale, and (name) had to raise a hand to cover her mouth. If Aziraphale heard her laugh, he would surely lecture her later.

“Yes, Burbage. Please.” Shakespeare said. The actor continued.

“To be or not to be - that is the question-”

“To be!” Aziraphale exclaimed. “I mean, not to be! Come on, Hamlet. Buck up!” He turned to (name) with excitement, but it quickly died when he saw the bored look on not only her face, but on Crowley’s as well. Still, the actor gave him a grateful thumbs up and continued on. (name) had to keep from laughing when she noticed Shakespeare mouthing along to the soliloquy, looking very proud of himself.

“He’s very good, isn’t he?” Aziraphale gushed.

“Age does not wither nor custom stale his infinite variety.” Crowley dramatized. (name) watched as Shakespeare reached for his pocket, stating how he ‘liked that’ and wandered away while scratching it down on a scrap of paper.

They stood there a few moments longer, listening to the soliloquy.

“What do you want?” Aziraphale finally spoke, popping another grape into his mouth. (Name) took this opportunity to snag a few, cradling them in her hand as she trained her eyes on the man standing on stage.

“Why might you be insinuating that I might possibly want some?” He was behind them now, coming to stand on Aziraphale’s side.

“You’re up to no good.”

“And the two of you are up to good, I take it? Lots of good deeds?” (Name) spared him a glance. He wasn’t even trying to pretend that he was watching the play. Even behind his glasses she could see him glancing at her, then back to Aziraphale.

“Well there is no rest for the…” Aziraphale paused, causing (name) to snicker. The actor on stage threw her a look, which she chose to ignore. “Good.”

“We’re meant to be heading up to Edinburgh at the end of the week. Aziraphale has a couple of blessings to do and I have a minor miracle to perform.” (Name) popped a couple of the grapes into her mouth - they were the perfect mixture of sweet and sour, causing her to hum with joy.

“Oh? Is that right?” Crowley looked at her again and (Name) fought to keep a smile off her face. “Well, I’m meant to be heading to Edinburgh end of the week as well - tempting a clan leader to steal some caddle.”

“Doesn’t sound like hard work.” Aziraphale piped in, too focused on the play and his food to realize what was coming next.

“Well, that’s why I thought…” this caught Aziraphale’s attention, and he all but snapped his head in Crowley’s direction. “Well, it’s be a bit of a waste.” Crowley was starting to smile again. He knew exactly what he was doing. “All of us going all the way to Scotland.”

“You cannot possibly be insinuating,” Azirapahe was beginning to raise his voice, and (Name) hushed him before the actor could throw another tantrum. “What I infer you are implying.” He said in a hushed tone.

“It’s not like we haven’t done it before.” Crowley was turned to watch the play now, but (name) never looked away from him. “The arrangement-“

“Don’t say that.” Aziraphale demanded.

“Our respective head offices don’t actually care how things get done, they just want to know they can cross it off the list.

“Yes, but if hell found out they wouldn’t just be mad,” Aziraphale reminded him. “They would destroy you.” The joy of seeing the demon had finally worn off as (name) let Aziraphale’s words sink in.

They would destroy you.

“Nobody ever needs to know.” Crowley said, lifting a hand to show them a rusted coin. “I’ll toss you for Edinburgh.”

There was a pregnant pause. (Name) could feel the words forming on the tip of her tongue. We shouldn’t do this, she wanted to say. It’s way too dangerous. But she couldn’t. Because a life without seeing Crowley every now and again would be… well, she’s not sure it would be worth living.

“Fine,” Aziraphale sighed. “Heads.” Crowley smiled. Then, he held the coin out to her.

“Would you do us the honor?” He asked. As (name) took the coin, her fingers brushed gently against his own, and despite how well dressed he was and how warm it was, his fingers were cold. Aziraphale’s eyes were trained on the coin so he didn’t see when Crowley gave her a sly wink.

The other arrangement.

(Name) held onto a sigh as she flipped the coin, fingers snapping gently as she did. When the coin landed, she knew it would be tails, but she played her part and gave a small groan of annoyance.

“Well, brother of mine, it looks like we will be the ones going to Scotland.” She displayed the coin. “Guess I’m just a bit unlucky.” She lied.

Before either of them could speak, they heard the bard moaning from the other side of the pit.

“It’s been like this every performance Juliet, a complete dud. It would take a miracle to get anyone to come and see Hamlet.” (Name) didn’t miss the look Aziraphale gave Crowley. The same face he gave her when he wanted something sweet, or was begging her to help him get a new book.

Crowley scrunched up his nose, but let out a defeated sigh.

“Fine, I’ll do that one.” He said. “My treat.”

“Oh, really?” (Name) shuffled a bit, annoyed words threatening to spill from her lips. But Crowley spoke up quickly.

“I still prefer the funny ones.” He gave (name) one last glance before making his way toward the exit of the theater, probably on his way to start on his demonic miracle. It was at that moment that (name) realized she was still holding Crowley’s coin.

“Oh, bugger.” She muttered. “Could you hold on a moment, brother. I will return in just a moment.”

“Is everything alright?”

“Quite. Just need a breather, is all.” He didn’t seem to like that answer, but didn’t argue as (name) tore away from him and walked towards the theater exit. As she popped out onto the empty streets, she could feel eyes on her. To her left, Crowley was leaning up against a wall, waiting for her.

“Sneaky bastard.” She said, “You forgot something.” She said, holding out the coin to him. He stared at it for a moment, but didn’t hold out a hand to take it. So she pulled back, slipping the coin into a pocket she had secretly sewn into her dress. “Is everything okay, Crowley?”

“How are you?” (name) was taken aback by the question, but Crowley seemed genuine in his curiosity.

“I am… fine.”

“You seem happy.” He said. “Even if you weren’t enjoying the show, you just seem… happier.”

“Well,” (name) started. “I am. Times are changing. I haven’t had to visit upstairs in quite a while. And Aziaraphale is happy. So I am happy.”

“Good. That’s… good.” There was silence between them. “I still owe you from last time, too.” He said. (name) hummed in agreement - she hadn’t gotten her promised dance lesson for the last temptation she had assisted him with.

“I guess this next one will just have to be a bit longer, then, no?”

“It would seem.” Crowley was smiling. “Have fun in Edinburgh, Angel.”

“Have fun with Hamlet, Demon.” She shot back, trying not to laugh as he grimaced. Crowley pushed off the wall and began to saunter off, leaving (name) to return to her brother. When she reached into her pocket, she couldn’t help but laugh to herself.

The coin was gone.

[vivi-the-sky-kid]

Sowing the Seeds (of Love), Chapter 3

Aka the Resh/OC Fix-It Fic Nobody Asked for but I'm Inflicting on All of You Anyways as Punishment for Kai's Your Hubris

The King has always been a mysterious figure in the annals of the Sky Kingdom's history, generating both awe and fear within the hearts of the sky spirits. Few can claim to have met them in person; certainly not Tav, a researcher of light creatures for the Vault of Knowledge. But when they discover their research may be used to harm the very creatures they know and love, Tav knows they cannot allow this to happen.

Somehow, they must change the King's mind. If that means throwing butterflies at their royal face, then so be it.

-<◇>-

Warnings: Will be added to each chapter when necessary, but there's not gonna be anything graphic in this (do send me an ask if you think there's something I should warn about tho)

Rating: T (just to be on the safe side)

Pairing(s): Resh/OC

Tag(s): Enemies to Lovers, Fake Dating, Canon Divergence, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies

Additional Tag(s): Resh and Alef are twins, Resh and Tav are both nonbinary, Resh uses he/they, Tav uses she/they, Resh is demiromantic and pansexual, Tav is biromantic and demisexual, no beta we die like moths in eden

Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12

-<◇>-

Chapter 3

Word Count: 2755

Warning(s): Ayin needs a hug :(

-<◇>-

“So I hear you've been working with the butterflies, Resh?”

Resh scoffed as they dressed for the day, slinging their cape over their shoulders with one swift, fluid motion. “You can hardly call it work when the damn creatures don't do anything but avoid me. I never should have agreed to this. I can feel Alef laughing at me from here. And the worst part? They'd know if I wasn't trying. He'd feel it.”

He lowered the pizaine around his head, adjusting the cape once it was settled. Their spear followed next. Then Resh picked up their mask, turning it this way and that in their hands before affixing it to their face. Ayin eyed it, their smile more of a grimace at the sight.

“Why not try without your mask? Butterflies can be rather skittish. Something like that must be quite frightening to them.”

“It's a mask. Why would they be scared of that? I'd expect them to fear my spear more.”

Ayin winced. Butterflies were small and quick. A spear was no threat to them, unless the wielder happened to get very, very lucky. On the other hand, a glint of light off that mask's diamond-shaped crest would be more than enough to spook them, especially when it was attached to such a tall figure. But if Resh wouldn't listen to reason...

“It was merely a suggestion...”

They quietly left and went to the central chamber, where the pots of collected light were taken before being shipped out. While pots made it far easier to send light to places like Hidden Forest and the Golden Land, it also simulated the same conditions that allowed butterflies to spontaneously spawn, and so time was of the essence when it came to these shipments.

They wondered if Resh remembered that. It had been so long ago, but Ayin could still recall with great clarity the wide-eyed awe on both Resh and Alef's faces when they were taught about the butterflies and the pots.

A better time, to be sure. Before the Trials. Before the Kingdom. Before all this nonsense with Dark Matter.

Before their growing sleepiness meant that more and more shipments were too late to be useful.

Ayin shook their head and held out a finger. In mere moments, a butterfly flew in and landed, glowing a vibrant magenta as it shared its light with the Elder. They brought it close to their face and whispered, then gently sent it on its way.

Maybe that would help matters.

-<◇>-

Sneaking out of Kumibir's house in the wee hours of the morning was not something Tav ever expected to do; then again, neither was trying to convince a government official to care about light creatures. Despite this, they somehow managed to get not only themself, but the spare light staff and some food, out without detection. It was easier than dealing with eir smug looks over breakfast. They could eat somewhere private and peaceful before dealing with the inevitable. Somewhere like Bird's Nest.

Yes, Bird's Nest was perfect.

As she rounded the hill leading to the nearest dock, two people came into view. One was immediately recognizable as the King's Will. The other was a spirit who acted as the grandparent of everyone in this village. While Tav had never spoken with them, seeing as they were typically away tending to the cattle of the Prairie, they had heard much and more about their charming ways from Kumibir. That included their tendency to ensure everyone around them was well-fed.

Apparently, they did not stop at locals.

“...been feeding you in Eden? You're so gaunt! A soldier like you needs to eat plenty more if you're gonna be protecting our people, doncha know?” the spirit said, lightly bopping their hand against the Will's chest.

“Believe me, I am getting enough nourishment to keep me active. There is no need for concern,” came his strained reply.

Tav snickered and walked closer. As they approached, they called out, “Good morning!” grinning with vengeful delight. The Will moved towards her hastily and fell into step beside her.

“There you are, my dear. I've been waiting for you,” they said, moving to wrap an arm around their shoulders. The gesture caught the cowherd's attention, and they turned their stern gaze on Tav.

“Are you this soldier's partner?”

She glanced up at the Will, who shot her a pointed look, then shrugged. “More or less...”

“Then you better make sure they get fed! Whatever they're feeding 'em up in Eden, it's not enough! Look at 'em! Why, I oughta march up there myself and tell your commander off for not taking care of their troops...”

Tav held back a sigh and gave them a reassuring smile. “I'll keep them fed, don't you worry.”

“Good! That's what I like to hear!” With that, they nodded and left, muttering under their breath.

As they waved the spirit farewell, Tav eyed the Will's gray skin out of the corner of their eye. "They're right, you know. You don't exactly look the picture of health."

"Why, are you worried about me, my dear? How sweet."

Any concern they had—which was none! No concern here—melted away at the smug tone in the Will's voice. Tav scowled and folded their arms in front of them. "No, I would just prefer to not have you drop dead on me, darling. That's all."

It would be hard to explain a government official dying during what should have been a peaceful trip. That was all. That was the only reason she cared—not that she did. The Will was their enemy right now, and enemies didn't deserve any concern.

"You have nothing to worry about on that front. I'll get plenty of nourishment, I assure you," he said, waving a hand carelessly through the air.

Tav raised one eyebrow and rested a hand on their hip. "And what exactly are you going to eat? Grass? Air? Sunlight?"

The Will twitched and drew their cape closer about their body at that last suggestion. He turned away, avoiding Tav's sharp gaze, before letting out a sigh. "If you really must know, all I need to survive is heat. While I can eat food, it is not necessary for me."

"Really?" she hummed curiously, before shaking her head and turning away. Now was not the time to get distracted by scientific pursuits. They needed to focus. The light creatures were counting on them.

"Come on. The butterflies don't have all day."

-<◇>-

Whether today was better or worse, Tav couldn't say. On the one hand, the butterflies were willing to go closer to the Will. On the other hand, they would still shy away from him once they got too close. Quite frankly, no matter how cute the butterflies were, if they had to spend one more day in these meadows, they might scream.

And yet, just when they were truly contemplating giving up...

“You could try removing that mask. The butterflies get skittish around so much cold metal,” a soft voice piped up. The two of them turned away from their unsuccessful attempts to get a butterfly near the Will and saw a plump spirit in a yellow cape approach from the butterfly sphere. At the Will's suspicious glare, they wrung their hands. “They prefer warmer materials, like flowers or sunsteel. I'm afraid the cold metal of your mask isn't very pleasant to them.”

“And you are...?”

“Ah, my name is Degamuc, but my friends like to call me the 'butterfly charmer,'” they replied, rubbing the back of their head with a bashful smile. “Elder Ayin has entrusted me with caring for the butterflies here, and I couldn't help but notice you two were having trouble with the little ones. You could always try taking my advice.”

The Will huffed a sigh, and they flinched.

“It was just a suggestion, though...” they said, voice falling.

The Will stiffened and turned away. They stayed that way for a few moments, then, with another sigh, reached up and removed their mask. Without anything to hold it back, some of his hair fluttered into his face, almost like a replacement for the mask. Still, it wasn't enough to hide that they looked... rather nice. Their square jaw contrasted well with their hair, and if it weren't for the scowl and unsettling gray skin, she'd almost say they were handsome.

Almost.

-<◇>-

Tav had been staring at them for some time now, ever since they removed the mask. Their own mask made it hard to tell what their expression was, but they hadn't blinked in a while. It was rather disconcerting.

He didn't like it.

Resh folded their arms before them, raising an eyebrow in Tav's direction. “What are you gawking at?”

His voice broke through whatever strange thoughts they were having, and they jumped, before crossing their arms stiffly and turning away.

“Y-You look better with the mask on.”

They blinked, the cogs in their head whirling, then looked at Tav in offense. “What is that supposed to me—?”

Just then, a butterfly landed on the tip of Resh's nose, cutting their words off. His eyes crossed trying to focus on it, its pink wings a stark contrast against the blue and white of the sky. A snort nearby startled them ever so slightly. The source? Tav themself, a hand over their mouth to stifle any sounds.

He shot them a glare, and despite the hand, laughter bubbled up from their mouth. Even that butterfly charmer giggled. Despite themself, Resh could feel a blush taking shape above their cheeks; thankfully, it was hidden by the butterfly's magenta wings.

“What's so funny?”

Tav was too busy laughing their head off to answer, but the butterfly charmer had enough of their senses left to say, eyes crinkled with delight, “The butterfly's giving you a little kiss!”

Resh froze. Someone had... said something like that long ago...

Someone once very dear to him...

-<◇>-

Within the Prairie temple, three figures were gathered in the central processing area. Ayin's shrine, its eyes glowing golden and its candles lit, watched benevolently over both the Elder it belonged to and a pair of children—twins, it seemed—alongside them. Ayin gestured the children towards a smaller pot with orange cloth covering its mouth.

“Now, children, these are the pots we use to send light to the Hidden Forest. It's very important that we send these out as soon as we can, because otherwise, butterflies will start to form from the light within. This one has been left a bit too long, you see, so if we open it up...”

With a small puff of flame from their palm, they removed the film covering the mouth of the pot, and a stream of butterflies burst out. The air tinkled like a wind chime as the flurry dissipated, and while most left the temple to seek the sun outside, a few lingered behind. Soft chimes and squeaks echoed in the temple, followed by the twins' soft gasps. Some landed on Ayin's shoulders. Others remained airborne, their golden wings glowing in light from above. One spiraled downwards before landing on the tip of Resh's nose and turning a deep pink.

“Oh, look at that! The butterfly is giving you a little kiss, Resh,” Ayin said, clasping their hands before their chest as their eyes crinkled. Alef snickered, and Resh frowned and wiggled their head, trying to shake off the butterfly. It was a stubborn little thing, however, and at the end, Resh was swaying dizzily and the butterfly was squeaking in triumph—or, perhaps, because it wanted to.

Alef's snickering had shifted to full-blown laughter by then. Thankfully, the butterfly's luminous pink wings hid the blush on Resh's face, but they couldn't hide the way their skin glowed where the butterfly made contact.

It certainly hadn't escaped Ayin's notice.

Their smile was a little strained this time as they put their hands behind the twins and gently urged them along.

“Come, children. We should take these little ones outside, where they'll be happier.”

“Yes, Ayin,” they said in unison. Together, the three of them, as well as the swarm of butterflies, left the Temple for the inviting sunshine of the Prairie.

-<◇>-

“Resh? Are you okay?”

The unfamiliar tone to Tav's voice brought Resh back from their reverie. They were holding his mask now. Had he dropped it during his bout of reminiscence? How nice of her to retrieve it for them.

But now there was something else on their face. Something that did not belong there. His movements slow and steady, he carefully guided a finger beneath the butterfly's rhomboid body and lifted it from his face.

“These butterflies... they came from a late shipment of light, correct?” There was no malice in their expression or their voice as they spoke, watching the butterfly slowly move its wings.

“Ah, um, I believe so. Elder Ayin wishes for us to release them when a shipment is rendered unusable, and many make their way here because of the flowers,” Degamuc said, wringing their hands again.

“As I thought... Ayin has always been soft like that,” Resh said. With a gentle flick of their wrist, the butterfly was sent back into the air. Another was quick to take their place, however, and then another. Soon they had a small, squeaking swarm of butterflies perched on their hands and arms.

Degamuc's eyes closed in a smile as they clapped their hands together.

“Well, it seems you two don't need my help anymore. I'll leave you two to your date.”

Tav nodded as they left, and then did a double take. Unfortunately for her, she was too late to protest. Instead, their hand was left suspended, reaching out for the butterfly charmer's receding back, and soon fell back to their side as they slumped forward. Throughout it all, the mask remained clutched firmly in one hand.

Resh couldn't help the grin that formed. So much drama in such a small frame. Where did it come from?

She seemed to sense their amusement, because she turned to look at them with a halfhearted glare. They folded their arms in front of them and said, with a grumble, “What? You got something to say?”

His grin turned mischievous.

“Were you worried for me, my dear?”

They stiffened and turned away. “What? No! I was just... wondering if you hit your head on something. You started acting weird.”

Resh chuckled and shook their head, looking out over the multicolored field. A butterfly drifted past his vision, the faintest sparkle falling from its wings. When they held out a finger, its body briefly turning into a streak of light as it zoomed to the new perch.

“No, no. I merely remembered something from... a long time ago.”

He laughed at you.

A scowl formed on their face, and they shook off the butterfly. He turned to face Tav once more. They eyed him with a suspicious squint, then shrugged, sunlight glinting off the silvery diamond crest of his mask with the motion.

“Well, I'd say we're done for today. I'll see you tomorrow morning, darling,” she said, waving the mask curtly.

“I'll be up bright and early, don't you fret, my dear.” They kept their gaze on their mask, raising an eyebrow. “But for now, may I have my mask back?”

They looked at the mask, blinked like they had forgotten it was in their hand, and then took hold of their chin. The sun crept lower in the sky as they thought it over, before finally saying, “Mm... No.”

Resh did a double take, mouth agape, and they grinned impishly, placing their hands on their hips.

“You won't need it for what we'll be doing tomorrow,” Tav said. They began walking away towards the nearby pier, leaving Resh to stare after them incredulously.

“And what, exactly, will we be doing tomorrow?”

“You'll see~” they sang out, waving jauntily as they left.

Resh grumbled softly. Then, despite themself, felt the corner of their mouth tug upwards.

Very well. If that was how Tav wanted to play, then so be it.

-<◇>-

Ayin blinked. They glanced down at their hands and flexed them, fingers tingling ever so slightly with newfound energy. It was... unfortunately unfamiliar. They couldn't remember the last time they had felt like this.

A butterfly swirled around them and perched delicately on their mask's pot-like frame. Its squeaking cry brought a smile to their face. Their plan had worked.

High above, their constellation twinkled a little brighter, a little more golden.

-<◇>-

Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12

[deadmomjokes]

First time Stormlight Archives Read-thru: The Way of Kings Part One

Since I actually somehow made it through the library’s waitlist to get my Icarusian hands on a copy of this thing, and because I am a completionist who cannot leave character arcs unfinished, I’m dragging y’all with me on this adventure that I guarantee you doesn’t need to be this long.

Yes I’m salty about it and it’s gonna take some serious literary magic to make me NOT salty about it because trying to hold this book at a decent angle activated my carpal tunnel issues and now I can’t feel my pinky finger and my thumb is tingling. So yeah. It better be worth it.

Anyway, we just finished Part One. Wait, “we” you ask? Oh yeah, my husband loves worldbuilding and hard magic systems, so we’re taking turns reading chapters aloud so that we don’t have to hold onto the book twice as long so we can both read it, and we can keep reminding each other of what’s what.

ANYWAY, we just finished Part One, so have my thoughts, positives, negatives, and overall impressions. Then get your road trip snacks because like I said, I don’t do things halfway and I already started this journey so here we mcfreakin go I guess.

The Good Stuff

There’s some pretty good lines so far.

B. Sandy actually appears to know what he’s talking about with drawing and sewing? Wild.

I’m digging how the currency system is, like, also functional. The pieces of currency act as lights and power sources and stuff. Neat.

The two main characters from this section are: depressed mom friend and his Conscience, and a snarky nerd with delusions of criminal grandeur, and between them they have exactly 0.84 brain cells. These all belong to Jiminy Cricket the literal airhead the Conscience.

Depressed softboy who just wants to be a good big brother? Well darn it, you found my weakness. I’ll pull up my “adoption papers” folder.

Each chapter from a new POV has a unique voice. Rather hard to pull off in writing, but very clearly and expertly done here.

I have some questions moving forward, which is always a plus. However...

The Bad Stuff

I really, REALLY don’t like feeling like I’m the dumbest person in the room. While he did manage to avoid infodumping, Mr. Sanderson also managed to make me feel like I’m missing vital information at basically every turn. And not in the “ooh, what a mystery” kind of way-- in the “what the freak am looking at, I have zero idea what you’re describing because you’re using in-universe jargon.” This piecemeal revelation thing works for the characters’ stories and plots; I’m all for that! I’m intrigued at what’s up with Ms. Davar, and exactly how Kal ended up where he is, what’s up with the war, etc. The problem is with handling the worldbuilding this way when you’re trying to situate these mystery plots in said world. It is not immersive for me; it is distracting, frustrating, and makes it hard for me to focus on the story. A few points handled this way would have been fine, but I lost track of how many times I had to stop and groan because yet another new term was getting lobbed at me and my comprehension of the situation depended on having an understanding of the world which he just hadn’t given us yet. I’m really over it.

I get that we were trying to establish her character, but I could have done without these lead-up chapters with Shallan. I wasn’t at all as interested in her as I was with Kaladin. We could have learned all that we needed-- her family situation, her big plan, her big mouth, her skills, her mysterious past and the weird stuff about her father that we still haven’t learned fully yet-- in media res when she’s already Jasnah’s ward. It felt kind of tire-spinny, though I admit it was fun at times.

The sentences and wording get sticky at times. Especially with reading it out loud, there are quite a few places that make my brain stumble because the words sound wrong next to each other, or the same word appears in the sentence too many times, and so on.

There’s a lot going on that just isn’t important. This ties back in to the first point, but we’re getting so much information about this world that it becomes tiring and tiresome to keep track of all the different things we’re learning about-- cultural rules around slaves, ‘safehands’, eye color, and so on; ‘fabrials’; the currency denominations; a whole religious system, some of which appears to be important but also has a bunch of tiddly little details that don’t; a caste system; a military structure; however the freak the ecosystem works and all the different animals and plants; the weather systems; etc ad nauseum. How much of this is important to know? I don’t know! That’s what’s frustrating about it! So much of it seems like by-the-way kind of stuff, but some of it could end up being important, so here I am wondering what’s gonna be on the quiz and what’s just for fun.

Impressions and Thoughts

Why must carcinization haunt me even in escapist fantasy?

Am not a fan of the phrase “skyeels” and “poisonous skyeels.” Don’t like that one bit.

Dudes are religiously required to be himbos, and girls are religiously expected to be scholars and nerds. Am love.

I’m getting increasingly concerned by the death-blood-collection ominous mystery quotes at the beginning of each chapter.

I’ve only known Sylphrena for a day and a half but if anything happens to her I would.... Not.... Not harm anyone or myself because she would be sad. 😭

I was warned about “suicidal ideation” being a thing, but I’m going to put a little brighter of a warning label on that and say that if anyone is about to read this and gets upset or triggered by suicidal ideation, plans, and attempts, be very careful and know that’s kind of all a thing. Not sure how much a thing it’ll be moving forward, I’m hoping “not”, but, yeah. That was an attempt, not just ideation, tho I’m grateful for the person who warned me because if it had come out of nowhere instead of just being a step further than what I expected, I’d be really, really not okay.

Yalb is the real MVP.

Verdict Thus Far

On a scale of 1 to 10 where 1 is “I will actually find strength to abandon this book because I’m so done” and 10 is “I’m willing to give up sleep to read more,” I’m sitting at a 6.5 right now. Good, and I’m looking forward to continuing, but I have a little ways to go before I’m hooked. But thumbs up, thanks for convincing me! (from everyone except my tingling numb fingers, I should have tried the ebook instead -_-)

[chessdaze]

OKAY SO TODAY-

I’m going to ramble about chess symbolism - specifically with the Savanaclaw trio but also a couple of other characters (mostly pomefiore characters in detail but I list some others out aswell) I made the mistake of mentioning it on twitter and it got attention so now I’m posting it here because it’s way too long to post in a twitter thread.

It’s also going under readmore for that reason too:

For those unaware, the black and white on the chessboard have a meaning as well. Not so much ‘good’ and ‘evil’, though that’s one interpretation - White is normally associated with good and Black with evil. And that’s a valid conclusion! But another symbolism having to do with the board is the war between the inner and outer self. Between Ego and Values. Pretty much the chessboard can represent any kind of eternal struggle. A struggle that continues and doesn’t particularly have an ‘ending’ as chess is a game that can be played more than once, the struggle will always come back eventually.

Relating this to Night Raven in general- of course the struggle with overblot can be related to chess as well. Because it’s a constant struggle, one that most aren’t even aware of as there’s clearly ways to prevent it (resting, de-stressing, etc), but still a constant problem people of this world have to face.

Now moving onto the characters I want to speak about. Starting with Ruggie cause he’s my favorite.

Ruggie: The Bishop

The Bishop traditionally represents the church and religion, and in Medieval Europe the bishop was second in line to the king and queen. Now going back to how the chessboard could represent an internal struggle - the bishop can also represent a belief structure of some kind. The morals, the thought process. This is said to be why the bishop starts and stays on the same colored square (white for white and black for black), moving diagonally but never cross over another color. They move as far as they want, under the limits of their ‘belief’. They must rely on others to protect them or stay out of anything that could threaten them on the board.

NOW WILL SMITH ARMS TO ALL OF THAT ????

Ruggie doesn’t have ‘good’ morals. He only thinks about survival of the fittest, he believes that a strategy that you can win is worth it no matter the methods, he doesn’t pick fights he can’t win –

BUT his morals and methods align with Leona’s, who’s objectively the ‘king’ in this situation. He stands next to the ‘king’, (Like the bishop is next to the royalty on the chessboard) Leona, he moves according to his wishes but doesn’t sacrifice his own beliefs and methods in the process. He relies on Leona for protection and guidance, but will run away if he feels like he must (the chase scene with ace and deuce comes to mind. they didn’t have any proof but to keep himself safe 100% he left anyways).

Not to mention ‘second in line to the king and queen’ - Ruggie is the vice leader of Savanaclaw - Leona’s own little ‘kingdom’ as it were, so he already fills the role of second in command in canon.

He also could be considered an ‘overseer’. He watches over the dorm, does basic chores and errands for Leona, is someone leona trusts to carry out certain jobs - not to mention a good spy in general.  

I suppose one could argue that Ruggie is a pawn aswell. Besides the obvious ‘oh he’s considered a pawn to leona lol’, people forget that the pawn is the only piece who can turn into a Queen - aka the most powerful piece on the board. And Ruggie had that quote during the commercials that ‘even a hyena can become king at this school’. But that’s just it - he specifically says King. The Bishop is second in line to the throne behind the king / queen. So, if anything happened to Leona then he would be the dorm leader / the king. I just feel as if Ruggie doesn’t fit the Queen symbolism at all.

Not that I doubt Ruggie’s abilities or anything. His powerful will to survive above all else, his magical ability, and his sly nature definitely make him a powerful force - but I still don’t think it fits.

I also like the idea of Ruggie being a kind of ‘adviser’ to Leona. Hear me out. In Leona’s SSR he’s the one to stop Leona from going all out during the fight against his own dorm leaders, he offers legitimate advice to Leona at some parts of the main story and the SSR, and is able to sway his decisions and offer legitimate solutions to problems (for example, convincing Leona to let the MC and Grim stay at the dorm during Episode 3 - it wasn’t a solution they liked but it was still one they could all agree on).

Ruggie to me just embodies the bishop so perfectly.

Leona: The King

OBVIOUSLY so I still want to go into this even tho the King is probably the most obvious choice for Leona.

Going back to the chessboard as a whole- the white king is meant to represent a person’s being while the black king can represent the ‘beast’ within us all. The beast is said to represent the intelligence hidden inside of all of us. Now willsmith arms to Leona. This guy is smart, it’s almost scary. Scar was practically considered a tactician and Leona is the same. He comes off as lazy and uncaring but he has a deep understanding of how things work and uses the smallest of details to work things to his advantage. 90% of the time, Leona is the smartest guy in the room - but you wouldn’t think he is at first.

Now, the king is often referred to as the weakest piece- if only for the poor movement of it being that of a pawn (and even then the pawn can move two spaces on its first turn - giving it advantage over the king in that sense). But it’s also the most important piece. The one that the entire game is fought for. The king can make or break the game - but it barely moves.

Even a real king isn’t seen much by their subjects. They stay stay and wait for something to become important enough for them to leave their kingdom - and until then a king relies on those around him (in this case, the other pieces on the board) to fulfill his orders. He’s far too important and that’s why he barely moves from the back row on the chessboard. 

If you think about it - Leona doesn’t do much for his own plan in chapter 2. He relies on the magift team (mostly Ruggie) to execute the plan. The only time he really had a hand in what was going on was during the dorm leader meeting when he convinced the headmaster to keep Malleus on the field because it was essential to the plan with Ruggie causing the stampede- Malleus needed to be there to get caught up in it all. But that was something only he could have done, no one else could have filled that role for him. So again - the King doesn’t step out of the back row unless absolutely necessary.

Before anyone argues about Leona’s SSR and him stepping in then - I’ll take more of that into account during Jack’s section. But keep in mind he also mostly did that to have Jack indebted to him so my point still stands that the king doesn’t move unless he needs to.

And no, despite his power level I don’t believe he’s ‘queen’ material. If only because he holds himself back so much (with his laziness, lack of ambition, etc). It’s his lack of drive but also his reliance on others that has him leaning more towards the King rather than the Queen.

Jack: The Rook

Onto Jack - I struggled for a bit nailing down if he was the knight or the rook, if I am honest. His morals of fair fights and not owing people could definitely fall in line with a knight - but in the end I decided to go with Rook. For a number of reasons.

In Leona’s SSR story, he specifically calls Jack a ‘pup who charges ahead without thinking’ - similar to how a Rook can only move forward or to the side. It can go until something stops it - much like Jack was willing to keep fighting in the SSR story until Leona physically stopped him and stepped in himself.

Now the rook is also called the tower or the castle - and it traditionally represents the castle walls - the things that protect royalty and others. The rook is supposed to protect those on the inside of the board (as it is placed on both edges of the board) and protect those instead. The rook could also represent observation - watching the whole board and taking the best course of action to protect those it can. There are two kinds of observation, if we relate it back to the chessboard representing the inside and outside self. These are self reflection, orientated towards the interior / when the rook moves further into the board or side ways, and then moving forward as a kind of outward observation. Now Leona SPECIFICALLY mentions that Jack seems like he’s good at self reflection - that’s what really had me start thinking of Jack as the rook.

Jack is reckless and stands up for what he believes in no matter what, but also knows when he can’t handle a situation. He is good at observing a situation and making an honest call - even if it makes him sound blunt and rude. He knows exactly what he’s capable of, likely after a lot of his own self reflection, and is able to observe other’s skills in a similar fashion (as he calls out his seniors during leona’s ssr as being lesser magift players, clearly stating he’s superior than them when it comes to the game).

The rook is also the only one who can preform a move with the king called ‘castling’ - meaning the rook can switch places with the king in order to help the king move further away from danger or just to get more space into a move. This is also a type of observation where the rook is moving inwards and switching places with the overall being, the ultimate self reflection and cooperation with oneself.

^^^ THIS is the part I mentioned in Leona’s section. The king and rook are the only pieces that can preform the castling move. This is EXACTLY what happened in Leona’s SSR. He switched places with Jack. While in chess this is normally done to move the king out of danger - this is an exception considering Leona is....Leona. But I can see this as a way for their relationship to grow over the course of the story. Jack still obviously has an admiration for Leona even after the events of Chapter 2. And Jack definitely has the means to help Leona when it comes to fights, and in other capacities, so he is becoming very much a ‘castle’ around savanaclaw. Someone who can be trusted to observe, to protect, to fight.

He’s quick to protect others - as he is protective of ruggie during the main story and even his own SSR. He struggles a lot trying to win Ruggie and Leona over during his personal SSR and goes through ALOT of trouble to help Ruggie stay out of trouble with Leona. He didn’t have to do this, but he saw it as beneficial to the greater good, to help one of high standing, to protect him from a possible rage from their ‘king’.

Now for some reason i really thought into pomefiore too so here’s there analysis-

Rook: The knight

I definitely didn’t want to fall into the trap of thinking he was the rook just because of his name. But thinking on it, he definitely fits a knight - at least from what we know of him so far.

For overall Knight symbolism: The knight represents the professional soldier of medieval times whose job it was to protect persons of rank, and there are two of them per each side in a game of chess. Knights in a game of chess are more important than pawns, but less important than bishops, kings, or queens. Their purpose in the game of chess is to protect the more important pieces, and they can be sacrificed to save those pieces just as pawns can.

The Knight might not be the most powerful or most willing to follow his leader around, but its skillset makes it unique. Their eccentricities allow them to succeed, often passing over much more talented Bishops.

The knight can also represent Divine Law, which everyone has to take in account for their actions.

NOW WILL SMITH ARMS TO ROOK HIMSELF.

I can definitely see him as being a knightly figure not just because of how he acts on his own but how he acts with Vil specifically. He’s not an adviser of any kind like Ruggie, Vil even states in Jade’s SSR that Rook could be a better Vice Leader. But he’s also not like Jack and rushes ahead without thinking. out of the three pieces in the back row that aren’t the royalty, he fits the knight the best.

Not to mention I feel like the ‘protect the more important pieces’ fits Rook aswell as he proves to be very loyal to Vil and very proud of being a pomefiore dorm member - he would do anything for this dorm.

The knights of society are also people who are only really good at one thing - and Rook has a specialty for hunting. Even to the point of kind of being stalkerish, as seen in his Lab Coat SR and Jade’s PE uniform R. Also “ Their eccentricities allow them to succeed, often passing over much more talented Bishops. “ Him getting the jump on Ruggie a lot of the time would like literally translate to this and I didn’t mean for that to happen but it did.

When it comes to ‘divine law’ I’m just kind of connecting that to Rook being a hunter aswell. He knows the boundaries / laws of hunting and while he sometimes pushes those boundaries (like with Malleus and insulting him during Rooks PE uniform story) he doesn’t cross them because he knows the chain of command / circle of life if you will - laugh track -

With the above point, the knight’s overall moveset is fitting to Rook as well. The knight moves in an L shaped patter and is able to easily skip over lines of defense / offense to get where it needs to go. The knight is the ONLY PIECE that can actually jump over other pieces.

Rook is good at figuring out strategies, getting around rules and just barely touching the lines of being too invasive. Rook is a hunter, clever and patient, and with a knight’s moveset he can go back and forth between enemy lines and not - planning an angle and slipping in when he sees an opportunity.

Vil: The Queen

AGAIN ANOTHER OBVIOUS ONE- and this one will be kind of short as we don’t know a lot on Vil just yet (or at least I don’t, I haven’t read much of his card stories).

Vil obviously has status and power. The way he’s able to get the monstro lounge tons of customers without even knowing it - all by posting one picture with a hashtag? He becomes ambassadors for certain fashion brands, he keeps up with being a dorm leader, and giving practically his entire dorm etiquette lessons? Like shit this dude never slows down.

The Queens of society are often the closest to being in command, and arguably work the hardest. Considering Pomefiore was specifically advertised as a dorm that’s very foundation is ‘hard work’, it shouldn’t surprise anyone that Vil is the queen in this situation.

and cracks knuckles theory time - if Vil overblots it’s gonna be BAD cause i mean - what happens when you lose your queen in a chess match?? You lose the most powerful piece on the board and a lot of your other pieces are sitting ducks. So yeah Vil overblotting is gonna be TERRIFYING that’s all I can say.

Epel: The pawn

Another small blurb but I just wanna say that being the pawn isn’t a bad thing!!

The pawn can represent a few different things - from everyday workers and laborers to simply how we are everyday - our attitudes and how we present ourselves. Both of these things are present within Epel, him coming from the countryside and mentioning farming and not to mention that he puts on a bit of a mask infront of everyone else.

The pawn has the ability to become another piece on the board and I think that there’s that kind of potential for Epel too. He is struggling a bit with self image (which could be represented by the board itself as well - inner and outer self), but I think he has room to grow and I’m honestly pretty excited to see what the pomefiore chapter does with his character tbh.

OKAY I’LL STOP WITH THE EXPLANATIONS THERE BUT HERE’S A LIST OF WHAT CHARACTERS FROM OTHER DORMS I THINK FIT WHAT PIECE AND IF SOMEONE WANTS ME TO GO INTO DETAIL ON THEM I CAN LATER-

Heartslabyul:

Riddle: Queen / King kind of a toss up Trey: Bishop Cater: Knight Deuce: Rook Ace: Pawn

Ocatvinelle:

Azul: King Jade: Knight or Bishop Floyd: Rook

Scarabia:

Kalim: King Jamil: Knight

Ignihyde:

Idia: King Ortho: Pawn

Diasomnia:

Mal: Queen / King toss up again Lilia: Leaning towards Knight Silver: Pawn or Knight Sebek: Rook

[fantasticfemmefatale]

dolly’s- chapter two

BUCKY BARNES X READER

SUMMARY: you and bucky make up woohoo

WARNINGS: reference to the reader’s abuse (not that bad tho) there might be like one bad word idk

The next morning was rough. You were at Dolly’s at 6 am, scrubbing the scratched coffee pot as if you were attempting to scrub everything about the day before from your memory. You could still hear Colonel Phillips’ gruff voice in your memory, see your father’s journal in his hand, feel the fear that replaced the rage you’d been harboring when he explained his knowledge of your “abilities,” as he delicately put it. He’d lectured you like you were a toddler, describing how you could be key to winning the war, how you could help some guy named Erskine finish some serum of some sort if you’d let him experiment on you. Your blood ran cold at that, as memories came rushing back full of bloodied syringes containing odd-colored, swirling substances, hard, unforgiving treadmills, and your father’s harsh face glaring down at you, voice full of malice as he spat, “You were meant to be the perfect human! Not some housewife!” 

Phillips noticed the change in your demeanor and stopped speaking. It would be hard not to notice, not when you were staring past him, eyes wide and empty, skin pale and ghostly. Your eyes snapped back to focus on him shortly, and you paused for a second before asking, “How’d my father die?”

Phillips froze at that. It wasn’t the question itself that gave him pause, it was the way you asked it. There was no emotion in your voice or gaze when you asked, just cold resolve. A need to know, simply for the sake of knowing.

“Kidnapped and tortured by Hydra, Hitler’s science division. When he refused to disclose your location, they shot him.”

You nodded. Some part of you deep inside that you’d tried to kill long ago wanted to feel bad, wanted to say he died for your sake, and yet you keep on hating him. What kind of daughter does that make you? But one act of kindness couldn’t even begin to heal the scars he’d dug into your skin, literally and metaphorically.

You told Phillips to give you a time and place, and you’d be there.

Bucky breezed into Dolly’s just past 7, like always, with Steve not far behind. You handed Steve the coffee you’d brewed for him, a steaming red mug with two spoonfuls of sugar and three spoonfuls of milk, the way he liked it. Crossing your arms and leaning them over the white ceramic countertop to look at Bucky, you asked, “Whaddya want, Barnes?” Your lips were pulled into a small frown, and one eyebrow was cocked as you gave him a challenging glare.

“Not even a hello, doll?” the subject of your anger challenged, smiling brightly as he leaned towards you. You sighed and straightened, turning around to grab a rag and clean the same mug you’d cleaned twelve times already, just to look busy.

“You couldn’t even spare me a call last night, plus you stood up me and Steve! So I apologize if I’m not in the best mood, James!” You yelled. “Which girl did you blow us off for this time? Carlotta? Rita? Delores?”

Bucky looked genuinely sad, and you almost felt bad for what you’d said. “I swear I didn’t mean to this time, Becca was sick and I stayed home to take care of her. And I was gonna call, but she needed her rest, and I didn’t want to risk waking her up.”

Oh god.

“Sorry,” you muttered.

Bucky merely shrugged, and told you what he wanted to drink. As you made it, you could hear the jingle of the bell atop the door, signaling Steve’s exit as he murmured a soft, “See ya later, Y/N.” You slid Bucky’s mug across the counter and he grabbed it, staring down it for a second.

“What’s a guy gotta do to take you out, doll?”

Bucky’s words froze you, like ice, crawling up your body until you couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think.

But the anger, the flames that were still burning inside you melted the ice away as you replied, “Maybe start with not standing me up.”

He chuckled, but then met your eyes as he said, “I’m serious, doll. I wanna take you out on a date, just you and me.”

You shook your head, muttering, “No you don’t. You want a girl that you can go on one date with and then forget about, Barnes. And I’ve got no intentions of letting any guy do that to me.”

Bucky scoffed at that. “Doll, I-”

“Stop it,” you barked sharply.

“What?”

“Don’t call me doll like there’s really something between us, Buck, not when you’re running around with every girl in Brooklyn! You know, I waited for years for the right moment to tell you I liked you, but it never came! You wanna know why? Because you-” you pointed a finger to his chest accusingly “ -couldn’t care less about a girl’s feelings! You just act like they never existed, like you never cared.” You angrily swiped an arm across your nose, and sniffed, trying to hold onto what little composure you had left. “And I would’ve rather stayed friends instead of risking it all for one date, but lately it’s like you don't even want to be friends with me.”

Bucky let you yell at him, and took it. He didn’t try to defend himself, or tell you how whatever you were feeling was your own fault, something you’d always admired him for doing. Really, why couldn’t every guy have that same amount of respect when a girl spoke? The conflicting feelings you felt towards Bucky confused you. Your heart was tearing itself in two, both wanting to run to Bucky, hug him, and agree to go out with him and wanting to ignore him for the rest of your lives.

Eventually Bucky spoke. “I’m sorry.”

You looked up, preparing to yell at him more when he held his hand up to stop you. “You had your turn, now it’s mine.”

You pursed your lips, and he continued. “You’re right about those other girls. If I’m honest, I never liked any of them. Really, I just hoped one of them would be good enough that I could get over you, but none of them were. And believe me, I’m sorry I stopped hanging out with you and Steve. Seeing you just hurt, knowing you’d never like me back. I just wasn't used to feeling this way around a girl.”

You met his eyes and tilted your head to the right slightly in a silent question, but then the meaning behind his words dawned on you. After all, he was James Barnes. Practically every girl in New York threw themselves at his feet. He’d never had to deal with rejection. Before you could stop it, a laugh bubbled up from your throat, and Bucky’s head that was hanging dejectedly shot up. “What?”

“It’s just funny,” you choked out in between laughs. “You’ve never been rejected by a girl, have you?”

Bucky glared playfully, but his stern gaze was offset by the bright, lopsided grin gracing his face. “C’mon, doll, don’t be the first.”

“Fine,” you said, feigning residual anger. “One date.”

Bucky leaned over to kiss your cheek, then practically bolted out the diner, grinning like a maniac. “I’ll be at your apartment at 6 tomorrow!” He called over his shoulder as the door slammed shut.

You smiled, pressing a hand lightly to where you could still feel Bucky’s lips. It was the first time you’d been kissed by a boy, if you were honest. Most men wanted a perfect housewife who’d cook, clean, and look after the children, but you wanted more than that from life. You wanted a partner who saw you as an equal, someone who’d share your dreams of adventure and glory. You wanted to be free, free from a world where you were seen as second-rate simply because you were a girl, free from the scars of your father’s experimentation, and free from the SSR, who currently wanted to do just what your father had done to you.

Sacrifices were necessary, and helping Dr. Erskine with his Super Soldier serum could be your only way of moving up in the world. If it got you out of a dead-end job running a diner, you were willing to endure whatever was thrown at you. Hopefully, Erskine would be a bit nicer than your late father was.

The black phone mounted on the back wall of the diner rang, and you ran to it in less than a second, simply a blur and rush of wind to anyone unlucky enough to spot you. Wrapping a hand around it, you took a deep breath, screwing your eyes shut, and praying it wasn’t Colonel Phillips again.

It was.

The second you lifted the phone to your ear, his loud voice resounded through the speaker, informing you that Erskine would be working with the SSR in a base in New Jersey, and that they’d need you there in a week.

You felt the beginnings of a stress headache pull at your head as you hung up, letting your head hit the cool wall and stay there, until the clock by the door chimed brightly, cheerfully informing you that it was opening time. God, it was only 7:30?

~~~

The rest of the day went without a hitch, until an angry woman demanded that you switch her seat with two patrons that were regulars at your diner. When you refused to move her seat, she left in a huff, dragging her two whining children behind her. 

“Sorry, Bonnie,” you said, turning to the pair that had just been yelled at. “You too, Ralph. Anything I can do for you?”

“How about dancing with us tonight?” Bonnie questioned. Her eyes shone with mischief as she spoke. Bonnie was one of those girls who could make a story about what she ate for breakfast sound like an odyssey, and make the room shake when she spoke. You couldn’t help but love her.

“You know I’m busy, Bonnie.”

Ralph murmured something, but Bonnie spoke over him, saying, “Busy with Bucky? I saw him and Steve today, and all Bucky would talk about was you! Did ya finally tell him how you feel?”

“More or less,” you muttered, as the remaining girls in the diner turned to stare at you, no doubt wondering why Bucky wanted you, but you paid them no attention. You had nothing to prove to those sycophants.

Bonnie stood up and scooped you up in a hug that gave you a mouthful of her dark curls, before whispering in your ear, “I’ve got somewhere to be with my man, so I can’t stay.” She smiled devilishly, before grabbing Ralph’s wrist and pulling him off to who-knows-where. 

You glanced towards the beat-up clock, and seeing that there were only two more people eating, you decided to let yourself close up early, to give yourself time to think. Bonnie always seemed to make her way into your mind at times like these. Even when the world tried to hold her back because of her gender, she loved herself with a fierce passion you could only hope to achieve someday. It was infectious, really, the way she carried herself, and the laughter that always seemed to precede her wherever she went. You tried your best to be like her, but you’d always been a bit more solemn than her, and more of a dreamer at the same time. She was content with the way her life was, refusing to let herself make expectations for the future that might not be achieved. Although you didn’t understand her, you loved her all the same.

~~~

The next day was Saturday, so you didn’t have to work. Instead, you spent the morning in your apartment with Bonnie, dancing like idiots to Bing Crosby on the radio and trying to pick an outfit for your date with Bucky. Eventually Ralph came knocking on your door, wondering where Bonnie was. Bonnie tried to stifle a laugh as Ralph grumbled, “She didn’t even tell me she was leaving to go someplace!” 

“Well, at least I know he misses me when I’m gone,” Bonnie giggled as she left, but not before telling you exactly which outfit to wear to get Bucky’s attention.

When Bucky showed up at your apartment, just a few minutes early, you were wearing a cherry-red dress with a skirt that stopped just above your knees, with white socks and black shoes, and lipstick that matched your dress. Bucky wore brown pants, with a white button-down tucked in, and the sleeves rolled up just past his elbows. His hair was slicked back in that way you always made fun of him for, but secretly adored. The cherry on top, however, was the bouquet of your favorite flowers he held out to you. You were unable to move, utterly captivated  by the man in front of you. Everything about him was perfect. The comfortable silence lingered until he said, “Are you gonna keep me waiting, doll?”

“With that attitude, Barnes, I just might,” you replied with a smirk. You took the flowers from him with one hand, and the other grabbed his arm to pull him inside while you gently placed the flowers in a small vase you had on the table, throwing away the sunflowers that had previously resided there.

“What’d they ever do to you?” Bucky asked, smiling. Both of you had dopey, lovesick grins on your faces that felt like they’d never fade.

“They took the spot that was obviously for whenever you decided to bring me flowers,” you responded with a sly glance his way.

~~~

An hour later, you two were running around the fair like madmen, stopping every few minutes so you could buy more and more sugary treats. By now, you were trying to hold cotton candy, ice cream, a slice of apple pie, and a hot dog all at once. 

“Need help, doll?” Bucky asked, cocking an eyebrow.

“No!” you exclaimed between heaving breaths as you tried to run while keeping your food from falling.

He shrugged, feigning indifference, but you could clearly tell that he was getting a kick out of watching you struggle.

A few minutes later, you conceded. “Bucky! Stop being a waste of space and help me with this!”

He scoffed, but you knew he’d help you no matter what you said. Bucky was loyal to a fault.

The rest of the night felt like a montage of happy moments from a sappy movie you’d go see with Steve or Bonnie, but you weren’t complaining. You were dashing around on a sugar high, dragging Bucky with you everywhere you went. He almost told you to slow down at one point, but couldn’t bring himself to when he saw how happy you looked. 

He hadn’t seen you smile so much in years.

You felt like a schoolgirl on the playground, running around from stall to stall, then to the ferris wheel. The second you two were in the air, Bucky’s blood ran cold when he realized how bad of an idea taking you on it was.

You were practically vibrating in your seat because of how much sugar you had. Or maybe you were vibrating. He’d never seen you do it before, but he figured if you just moved back and forth fast enough, you could probably do it. 

Eventually, you stopped, then yawned, and he knew what was coming next. Before he could even offer his jacket to you, you’d gotten up from your seat, moved to his, snuggled up underneath his arm, and fallen asleep.

Do you ever slow down? He found himself wondering.

When the ride came to a close, he picked you up bridal style and carried you back to your apartment, gently shaking you to wake you up when you arrived. Groggily, you swatted his hand away.

“Y/N? Doll, can you get your key for me?” Mumbling under your breath, you pulled your apartment key out of your skirt pocket and handed it to him. You turned your head, ready to fall asleep against his chest, when he set you down to unlock the door. You wanted to be mad, but just didn’t have the energy.

He gently took your hand and led you inside, turning the lights on as he did. Then he stopped, seemingly unsure of what to do now. 

You hesitated, switching your weight from one foot to another.

Eventually, you worked up the guts to ask, “Do you want to stay the night?” 

Bucky paused, then nodded, taking his jacket off and setting it on the counter. He’d stayed the night at your apartment before, but it was always as friends, and Steve was usually there too.

“I’m tired,” you muttered. 

Bucky laughed, and responded, “I can tell, doll.”

You tried to ignore the feeling that blossomed in your chest when he called you doll, then realized that you didn’t have to anymore. You debated telling him what you thought of the nickname, then realized he probably knew. Bucky knew you better than you knew yourself.

You gasped, and your eyes grew as wide as saucers as you realized that you hadn’t told him about Colonel Phillips. 

“What?” Bucky asked. “Do I look that bad?”

You shook your head, and then said, “I have something to tell you.”

@kanemithehufflepuff

[catboymingi]

and the damsel in distress - veninder chap. 2

navi/masterlist

story masterlist

pairing: mingi x reader

genre: angst, fluff; eventual best friends to lovers

word count: 7.2k

warnings: language, insecurities, past trauma mention, somewhat suicidal thoughts (very briefly, one sentence)

a/n: after ages of exams where i focused on smaller writings i finally am updating... this chapter is a ride but it is the ride i decided to take

yo var det mig / der’ dummet sig? - was it me / that messed up?

when you woke up and unlocked your phone you immediately wished you hadn’t woken up, ever. you had more than a hundred messages from various chats, and while you wished you could just ignore them forever you knew that you’d have to deal with it tomorrow latest, and you’d rather do it without an audience. so you had no choice to reply, opening the private messages first and telling all your friends that you’d reply in the group chat, before you opened that one.

[y/n]: sry for that. forgot my wallet, had no way to get home in time

[y/n]: nothing happened tho

the reply came almost immediately, as if they’d just waited for you to come online.

[saranghoe]: u literally didnt even try 2 call dibs n now ur staying the night?? seems suspicious

[model contract when???]: yeah literally!

[y/n]: as i said, better than sleeping on the street

[model contract when???]: just dont go near them again. ever

[y/n]: fine

[y/n]: deal

you hated the idea, but you knew that if you didn’t agree your life would be a living hell. and that was definitely not something you wanted, knowing how they’d made life hell for other people and knowing that there was no way anyone could protect you from that. so, the next thing you did was click on ‘hyung hate club’, not even bothering to read the messages before leaving the group. you didn’t like this, but it was better this way. as much as you liked the boys, you liked being able to go to uni in peace more, and you knew that would be impossible if you so much as breathed in their direction from now on. you sighed, putting your phone down and laying back onto your bed again, wanting some peace for yourself, but you weren’t granted that. less than a minute after you’d laid down your phone buzzed, once, twice, thrice. knowing that you wouldn’t be able to relax until you knew what was up you sat back up, checking your phone to see messages from an unknown number. curious, you clicked on the notification.

[unknown]: y/n???

[unknown]: im mingi

[unknown]: whats wrong??

you weren’t sure whether to be happy he messaged or scream into your pillow. in some way it was nice he cared, but that also meant it would be harder to avoid the boys. and that meant that, no matter how hard you tried, your friends would have a reason to be upset.

[y/n]: why?

[unknown]: you left the gc?

[unknown]: what happened

[y/n]: nothing dw, im all good

he saw the message but didn’t reply right away, which made you think that maybe he’d accept your reply. but then you saw him typing again, and a message you didn’t expect at all appeared on your screen.

[unknown]: did i mess up

[y/n]: wdym

you genuinely had no idea what he meant, or rather, how he could’ve got the idea that he’d messed up in any way. he’d been nothing but kind to you, there was not a single thing he could possibly have messed up on. but when a new message popped up you knew he was genuinely worrying about it, and you felt bad for not being able to tell him the real reason why you left the group chat, why you had to avoid them.

[unknown]: like did i do something wrong

[y/n]: not at all

[y/n]: its not abt you dw

you hoped he’d leave it be with that, but of course not. he wanted to know what was wrong, he wanted to know why you suddenly didn’t seem to want to talk to him, or any of them for that matter, anymore.

[unknown]: then what is it

and while you were thinking of a good excuse, mingi seemed to have caught on to what exactly the problem was, as was made apparent by his next message.

[unknown]: its your friends isnt it

there was no way you could reply to that decently, so you didn’t, staring at the screen in frustration with your friends and him and mainly yourself. you wanted to say something, you really did, but you had no idea what. tell him you were sorry? tell him to leave you alone? tell him that sometimes life just sucked and you had to deal with it? none of that would’ve been a good reply, and in all honesty you also didn’t want to have to deal with the emotional turmoil it would inevitably bring.

you didn’t notice that you’d spaced out and your phone had locked itself until it buzzed in your hand again, another message from the unknown number you now knew to be mingi. it just read ‘got it’ and you felt awful, scared that you’d hurt or upset one of the only people in forever that had shown genuine care for you. but of course you’d had to mess it up.

//

the next day came and you still felt bad, somewhat fearful as well. your friend group’s chat had returned to the usual topics, but you still weren’t sure how they’d react to you when they saw you again. you were hellbent on acting as usual, hoping that if you acted like nothing happened they would as well, and it was somewhat successful, getting weird stares every now and then, but no more comments than usual. you wouldn’t let yourself relax just yet, but this was a good sign, at least.

but then came lunch. you tried to act casual, not wanting to let on to the fact that you were horrified that one of the boys would shout out for you at any moment. your eyes darted around aimlessly, mainly looking for a certain giant sporting bright red hair, simply because he was easiest to spot out of the group you’d spent saturday night with. when you still hadn’t spotted him when you sat down to eat with your friends your shoulders relaxed, but it had been a mistake to think that they’d forgotten about you.

you hadn’t noticed that yunho was on his way towards you until he was standing right there, having moved surprisingly inconspicuously for someone his height. but there he was, staring down at you with an expression you couldn’t judge. you tried to avoid his eyes, feeling so incredibly guilty for ignoring him when he and his friends had been your saviour when you needed one, but you couldn’t help it. even now you could feel your friends’ angry stares on you, when you hadn’t even acknowledged the boy’s presence.

“y/n”, yunho suddenly spoke up. you couldn’t help but look up at him at that, knowing it was a mistake, but your head moved by itself. and he noticed, a small smile appearing on his face now. he nodded his head as a sign that he wanted to talk to you with a little more privacy, and you knew that if you didn’t go with him he’d try to sort whatever he wanted to sort here, in front of your friends, which would be way worse than leaving with him for maybe two minutes and returning, convincing them that you told him never to come up to you again. so you got up, but before you could actually go to a more private area he picked you up and threw you over his shoulder. you hit his back in a desperate attempt to let you down, but deep down you knew that your punches wouldn’t affect him in any way. so you gave up, hanging like a sack of potatoes, feeling everyone’s curious stares on you.

he first let you down at their table, hongjoong scolding him that a less dramatic approach would’ve done the job as well. wooyoung and yeosang were laughing while the others looked at you curiously, and you were still deciding whether or not to kill yunho right there.

that decision was made for you when mingi spoke up.

“you told me you’d see me at lunch.” you couldn’t quite decipher his tone, whether he was angry or disappointed or hurt, but you knew it wasn’t a positive emotion you heard in his voice. you hated that you were the reason for his upset, but you also hated that your decision about how to deal with the dilemma you were in had been made for you, by people that knew nothing about your situation. you weren’t them, you didn’t have a support system, you didn’t have the option to choose who you were friends with, you didn’t have any of the things that were a given for everyone else. you had to take what you got and make do with it, and they’d just made that significantly harder for you.

“i told you i couldn’t”, you replied, your own voice a mixture of sadness and anger. you wanted to be able to, really, but it wasn’t something you could change. and the fact that he’d seen how your friends had reacted to you doing something they didn’t like and still didn’t stop this, maybe even actively encouraged this, made you angry, even though maybe it shouldn’t. he hadn’t had any ill intentions, but that didn’t really matter to you when you knew he wouldn’t be affected at all by whatever happened as a reaction to this. that he - they - had started a battle you’d have to fight.

no one said anything to that and you thought the conversation was over, that they’d realised that you wouldn’t be able to join their friend group or talk to them at all unless necessary, so you turned around, managing to take a single step before someone grabbed your wrist. you turned around again in surprise and saw that it was seonghwa, whom you’d assumed to be kind and soft-spoken, definitely not the kind to do this. but here you were, being kept from leaving by his hand around your wrist. it was mingi who spoke, though.

“they’re not being nice to you. you deserve better.” and you knew, you knew all that, you knew everything he could tell you to convince you that they weren’t the right friends for you, but that didn’t change anything. and you’d had enough hurt, enough mistreatment in your life to want to avoid it at all costs now. if that meant giving up a bit of your happiness but getting to keep your peace of mind that was a price you were more than willing to pay. but the boy looking at you with softness in his eyes didn’t seem to be willing to have you pay that price.

“sit down.” seonghwa had let go of your arm now, moving a little so that you’d fit next to him. it wasn’t an order, more of a suggestion, but you were too tired, too exhausted to potentially risk a discussion you might not be able to win, so you just complied, resting your head in your palms. and because of that the boys at first didn’t even notice that you didn’t have your food, or any of your things, since it didn’t seem like you wanted to eat anyway.

it was san that noticed, already having finished inhaling his meal when you hadn’t even started yours. the surprise at that was what made him realise that there was no meal for you to finish.

“yunho!”, he suddenly yelled out, making everyone’s heads snap up, even yours. “you forgot y/n’s things when you kidnapped her!” at that realisation, panic made its way onto your face. you had no idea what state your things would be in by the time you’d reach them. your phone, your wallet, all your notes were in your bag, and you’d just left it with your friends that without a doubt were plotting how to ruin your life by now. you jolted up and towards the table they’d been sitting at, but when you saw they’d already left your panic only increased. your bag was still there, carelessly kicked underneath the table when you’d been sitting with the others, but you had no idea what the insides would look like. you probably looked like a maniac all but ripping it open, fumbling with the zipper with shaking hands and ransacking your bag to make sure you still had everything you needed, checking your wallet and phone to see just how fucked you were. everything was still in order, though; it seemed like they’d forgotten about your bag, in part thanks to you having kicked it out of sight thoughtlessly. you almost cried at the relief, and mingi, who’d followed you after your sudden exit to make sure you were okay, wasn’t really sure what to do. he kneeled down next to where you were still crouching on the floor, staring at your bag and its content as if it were the most beautiful thing you’d ever seen, and just looked at you, waiting for you to realise he was there as well.

when after a while (was it seconds? minutes? it felt too long for mingi) you still seemed to not have noticed his presence he carefully tapped your leg, making sure his hand was visible before he actually touched you. you seemed so spaced out that he was pretty certain any sudden touch or noise would scare you to no end. but even though he was so careful not to be too sudden your head still shot up with a force that made him fear you’d break your neck; you’d half expected one of your friends to be the one touching you, so your anxious reaction was at least in part caused by that. but when you saw that it was only him you relaxed a little, though your heartbeat still would not return to normal.

“you okay?”, he asked you once it seemed like you wouldn’t drop dead from shock or kill him if he said anything, worry apparent in his voice, and you could understand him, really - this wasn’t a regular reaction to forgetting your bag with your friends. but you didn’t have regular friends either, so it evened out.

“i guess.” you grabbed your bag and got up, wanting nothing more than to get out of that awkward situation, and the tall boy followed suit.

“wanna join us for the rest of lunch?” he expected you to say no. you knew that you should say no. and a look at where you’d sat at the table confirmed that you didn’t even have anything to eat anymore - they’d probably thrown it away as soon as you left. so there was no reason to go, there was no reason to make yourself even more of a target. but maybe that was why you ended up saying yes. you’d already become a target, so now you might as well spend time with them, you didn’t really have anything to lose anymore. and the smile he gave you when you agreed to join them made you think that it’d maybe be worth it, even.

the others looked at you in surprise when you returned to their table, mingi having a triumphant look on his face. they didn’t say anything, though, scared of putting you off and causing another somewhat-freak out like the one earlier. of course, to them it didn’t make sense, they had no idea just what your friends could do. they’d never been their victim, and they’d never been around to see what their victims had to deal with. but you knew. and the thought of it almost sent you into a panic attack, so you let yourself fall onto the bench (a loud ‘thud’ could be heard, so you really hadn’t been gentle with yourself) and put your head on the table, ignoring how greasy it probably was, your focus being on stopping your breath from speeding up before it was too late. you couldn’t see the looks they gave each other, but you could imagine them. you were a mess, a scared, traumatised mess, and that less than 48 hours after first having met them. you honestly wouldn’t be surprised if they told you to go sit somewhere else, or got up and left themselves. but they were still there when you lifted your head again, looking at you worriedly, but without judgment.

mingi was the first to speak, having put the pieces together by now.

“they’re that bad?” you knew whom he meant. he’d seen the message, he’d been the one to figure out they didn’t want you to talk to them, he’d seen the way you’d rummaged your bag, so it wasn’t hard for him to figure out what, or rather whom, you were scared of. yet he couldn’t imagine why you were that scared of people supposed to be your friends.

“worse.” you tried to mask your fear with a bitter tone, but it didn’t exactly work. the boys didn’t exactly know how to react to that, trying desperately to come up with a way to lighten the mood.

“you have eight bodyguards now.” you weren’t the only one surprised when it was jongho that spoke up, but the others were quick to agree, telling you that the girls had to get past them first. ‘mainly jongho, to be fair’, as wooyoung elaborated. and while you still weren’t feeling good about it, you were feeling better now, the fearful expression replaced by a smile. san, not wanting to waste that chance, asked you if he could re-add you to ‘hyung hate club’, and you couldn’t resist the puppy eyes he gave you, so you agreed. as soon as he did so mingi got his phone out, resending the message he’d sent when he’d brought you home. ‘pyjama party this weekend n y/ns still coming’. your reply was an emoji rolling its eyes, but the smile hadn’t left your face. then you saved his number, asking the others to send a message with their name so you could know who was who.

“they’ll never shut up”, hongjoong informed you casually as he sent his name, and while you knew he was telling you, indirectly, that from this moment on you would never be able to have a moment of peace and quiet and no notifications you were happy about this fact, because it meant that at least you wouldn’t be lonely.

“i have my ways.” you grinned at him as you said that, then you went to save all the numbers in your phone. doing so brought your attention to the time, and you noticed that it was time to leave for class, your happy expression immediately disappearing as you realised that they wouldn’t be around to protect you during class. And class was the place you couldn’t escape from; you needed the credits, and part of you also didn’t want to have to give up on something that always brought you joy just because you had to fear you wouldn’t be left alone.

“i need to go.” your expression didn’t go unnoticed, and seonghwa and yeosang, who had this period off, told you they’d be right there if something happened, you just had to send a message. they also insisted on bringing you to your class, and while you did feel a little like a child that needs their parents to bring them everywhere because they’re scared by themselves you also really appreciated it. so you took off with your two bodyguards, waving at the others as they left for their own classes.

“it’ll be fine”, yeosang said after a couple hundred metres during which neither of you had said anything, and you looked at him with doubt apparent in your eyes.

“it will”, seonghwa stated, a lot more sure about it than you were. “and if not, you know we’ll be right there.” that only did little to reassure you, but you had no choice either way.

you reached your classroom way too fast, and you could feel your breath speed up as soon as you walked towards the door, hesitating. maybe you should just drop out of uni and become a shepherd in a secluded village somewhere in a strange country in europe. maybe that was a better plan. but the choice was made for you as one of your now ex-friends waved towards you, a cheery expression on her face that would have fooled you, had you not seen that same expression on her face countless times before, knowing that it meant nothing but danger. but it was too late to turn around now, so all you could do was pretend you didn’t know what you were about to face.

“hey!” your tone was at least as fake as her expression as you greeted her back. then you went to your seat, and for the first half of class things actually went okay. you were tense, you were stressed, you were scared, but nothing happened. but then the teacher told you that it was time to do group work now, and things went downhill. you were grouped by how you were seating, which included you, one of the girls, and two classmates you barely ever talked to, whose names you didn’t even know, but whom you had nothing against, at least. but they would soon have something against you.

as you were working, one of them had her laptop out to take notes and prepare a presentation, as was the task. and that gave your ex-friend an idea. it was an expensive laptop, and you, as always, had a cup of water on the table, fairly close to the middle so it wouldn’t be able to drop by itself. it wouldn’t have to drop by itself, though. first, the girl next to you dropped her pen and kicked it over to the other two, pretending to have done so in an attempt to retrieve it and be able to pick it up.

“i’m sorry, i dropped my pen! can you maybe pick it up, i can’t reach it.” an apologetic smile was sent their way, as if to say ‘sorry for the hassle’. both girls opposite you ducked at the same time, trying to see where the pen was and who would be able to pick it up more easily. that was what she’d planned, though; as soon as they were no longer able to see you, she spilled your water. over the laptop that was still on the table. and as if that wasn’t enough, she got up, yelling your name loudly, asking you why you’d done that. everyone was looking at you by now, and the girl whose laptop had been sacrificed quickly tried to dry it off with her sleeve, asking for tissues, trying to save it. no use, it seemed like it had broken right away. and everyone thought it was you. that you’d broken the laptop on purpose.

“she was writing her thesis, y/n! i knew you were jealous, but i didn’t think you’d go that far!” you just stared at the scene around you wide-eyed, not even fully realising that this was real. by now even the teacher had come to look at what exactly was going on, and your lack of self defense was a seemingly obvious sign of you actually being the culprit.

“i think you should leave the class now. and you will have to replace the laptop.” all you could do was stare at who used to be your friend, unable to believe that she would do this to you. you hadn’t even actually done anything, and you’d been friends with these girls for almost a year now, yet she’d had no hesitation to ruin not only your reputation but also you financially. she was fully aware that you were barely scraping by. she was fully aware that you would never be able to replace the laptop. she knew all that. and she still did it, just because you’d dared to talk to someone they’d called dibs on. you couldn’t believe it.

//

you didn’t really remember how you’d left the class, and were surprised to find that you’d remembered to pack all your things back into your bag, that you hadn’t forgotten anything. you’d just left, going who even knew where, dropping on the floor when your legs didn’t want to carry you anymore, and starting to cry. and you stayed there, crying, losing all feeling for how much time had passed. this had been your last class of the day, so you had nowhere to be, and you didn’t want to be anywhere, either. you wanted to vanish. you wanted to die, in all honesty. if it continued like this your only choice was dropping out, basically having wasted the past year and all the work and money you’d put into your studies.

you were so caught up in your crying that you hadn’t noticed your phone buzzing with message after message, first paying attention to it when someone called you. it was seonghwa, who’d been there to pick you up after class only to see that you weren’t there. you didn’t feel like picking up, so you pressed the red button through your tears. he tried again, with the same result, and first when your phone started buzzing continuously with new messages you took a look at the group chat. now you found out why they were calling you - they’d tried to get you after class, but you weren’t there, and now you’d neither read their messages nor picked up their calls, so they all were quite worried at this point. you felt sorry about that, so you decided to send a message saying ‘sorry for worrying you’, but you couldn’t bring yourself to say that you were fine. it seemed like any sign of you being alive was already a success, though, lots of relieved messages flooding the chat. you hoped that maybe they wouldn’t ask what happened, but of course they did.

[hongjoong]: what happened?

[y/n]: i dont want to talk abt it

the chat was quiet after that, no one really knowing what to say. but, again, mingi sent you a private message.

[mingi]: where are you???

you didn’t want to explain anything and you didn’t want to pretend you were fine, so you just sent him your location, his ‘ill be right there’ coming just a few seconds after you’d sent your message. you were somewhat relieved that you wouldn’t have to be alone right now, but you also dreaded having to explain what happened. for now, though, you should probably focus on looking a little more like a person and a little less like you’d just spent the past hour crying. even though you had it didn’t have to be obvious like that, so you tried to clean off the streaks of ruined makeup on your cheeks, using your phone as a makeshift mirror. once you were done you tilted your head to see if there was anything you’d missed, but it was okay. it wasn’t good, but it was the best you could do right now. then, you waited.

you’d put in your headphones after roughly two minutes of waiting, way too nervous at every single sound that surrounded you, but that also made you miss mingi shouting your name once he’d arrived, and the sudden appearance of his large frame in your field of vision did surprise you quite some, flinching visibly before you took out your headphones and looked up at him, trying to smile but failing miserably. and he immediately caught on, sitting down next to where you were sitting on the floor and looking at you silently for a moment.

“do you want a hug?” he didn’t know what else to offer, but he wanted to let you know that he was there for you, and you willingly accepted the offer. he wrapped his arms around you then, pulling you a little closer so you could rest your head on his shoulder, and then you continued to sit in silence. it was strangely comforting, having someone there for you even when they had no idea what you were even upset about, offering you their presence and leaving the choice of whether or not you wanted to tell to you. you didn’t want to have to leave this situation, the safety you felt when embraced by mingi, who was much taller than you and who made you feel like, even just by virtue of his height, he could protect you. but you had to, you knew you did, you couldn’t spend all day wherever you were now.

“we should go home.” mingi hummed in response, removing his arms from where they were wrapped around you, and the two of you got up. he looked at you hesitantly - you could tell he wanted to say or ask something, so you cocked your head, encouraging him this way to tell you whatever was on his mind.

“they’re all worried, so i was wondering… i told them i’m going to meet you, but i think they’d feel better if they could see for themselves that you’re in one piece.” you nodded, both as a sign of understanding and to show that it was fine with you to meet them before you went home. he nodded as well, slowly starting to walk and somewhat unsure if you’d actually follow him, but you did.

you walked in silence until you reached the train station, where he bought the ticket for you again. you looked at him, about to protest, but when he told you it was his treat again you just nodded, not having the energy to argue and also glad that you could save the money seeing how very soon you’d need every single won. after that, you were silent again, sitting next to each other with your head on his shoulder, which you’d have been embarrassed and shy about if you weren’t so exhausted. you were exhausted, though, and it took all your energy to not fall asleep on him - but at least you succeeded with that, your eyes still somewhat open when he told you you had to get off at the next stop. you sat up, then, immediately missing the warmth and comfort of him so close to you. the boys made you feel weirdly safe, and you couldn’t tell why it was - maybe it was just the unusual feeling of having friends that cared about you even when you had nothing to offer, but no matter what it was, it was nice.

another thing that was nice was that mingi didn’t make you talk, didn’t even try. he’d talk, but he didn’t mind if you didn’t reply. he’d just resume his story, letting you know that he wasn’t ignoring you but that he didn’t expect anything from you. and with this behaviour you slowly started to feel better, feeling ready to tell what had happened by the point you reached the boys’ place.

“mingi?” it seemed like they’d been waiting for him to come home, shouting his name as soon as he’d closed the door behind you.

“and y/n!”, he replied, entering the living room with you in tow. you were somewhat surprised to find them all already gathered there, but mingi didn’t seem to be. he just plopped down on the couch, patting the space next to him to signal you to sit down as well. so you did, staring at your hands as soon as you’d sat down, unsure how to start. and they were unsure as well, unsure if they should ask you or wait until you started talking by yourself.

“i…”, you started, but then stopped again. this was hard.

“i’m sorry for not taking your calls”, was how you decided on starting. “i just- i couldn’t. everything was so much.” and even though you hadn’t even started actually explaining yet a small sob already escaped from your lips, and you hid your face in shame. you looked up again though when you felt a hand on your knee, giving it a reassuring squeeze, and looked at the boy attached to the hand - mingi. he looked at you with soft, encouraging eyes, and you took a few slow breaths before you started talking again.

“they hate me. in class, one of them spilled water on my classmate’s laptop and broke it, and then she said it was me, that i did it because i was jealous of that classmate’s good grades.” you tried very hard to stay calm while telling, not wanting to break down crying before you even finished explaining why you’d ignored them, why you’d run away from class without telling anyone where you were.

“and everyone believed her because no one saw and she doesn’t have a reason to do it but the way she framed it i do, and now the girl is so angry because she was writing her thesis and i think it’s gone now and also the laptop is broken and i have to replace it and i just… i can’t afford that and i don’t know what to do and- ouch!” mingi’s hand had remained on your knee while you spoke, but the more you elaborated the tighter his grip got, seemingly without him noticing, because when he heard you yelp he immediately took away his hand and apologised profoundly for having hurt you.

“i’m just so fucking angry that she’d do that”, he explained. “you literally haven’t done anything!” and he wasn’t the only angry one, either, all the boys visibly fuming.

“but i can’t do anything about it”, you said, sounding defeated, “but i’m so scared that i’ll be kicked out of the course because i need it for my degree and if i get kicked out due to gross misbehaviour, even when it wasn’t actually me, i’ll lose my scholarship and then i won’t be able to continue studying and i won’t have a degree either and no one will hire me and i’ll end up homeless and in debt and… and…” you were unable to continue, your sobs having completely taken over at this point. you felt pathetic for breaking down like this, but your entire future was on the line just because you’d chosen to pick your friends yourself rather than waiting for approval. it was unfair, and it was horrible, and it reinforced the belief in you that if you didn’t do what others told you to do, the consequences would be horrible.

mingi wrapped his arm around your shoulder, pulling you into his chest - it seemed like out of the eight boys he was the one who’d taken on the role of your protector now, always taking care of you like this, ever since you first met. the others were there as well, of course, but they were more of a silent support as mingi actually pulled you in, and it was okay that way. it worked that way, his deep voice and careful touch being able to calm you down enough that you were able to breathe somewhat regularly again.

“i want to go home now”, you said once the worst was over. you were still sniffling, but you didn’t care. you wanted to go back to your bed, you wanted to hug the teddy bear that you’d owned since you were born, you wanted the comfort of your own home. being here with them was nice, and it had helped you calm down, but your own home, your own bed, was still something different. and it seemed like they could understand that wish to be in a familiar environment, because they just nodded.

“i’ll bring you.” the way he’d said it it didn’t sound like you had a choice, but it was okay. the tall boy had been there for you all afternoon, and he (and the others too, really) would probably feel better if he knew you were home safe and sound. you hummed in response which he correctly interpreted as your okay, because he got up with you and followed you to the door where you stopped to say goodbye and thank them for listening. then you left, the red-haired giant following suit silently.

the train station wasn’t far away, as you knew by now, and the two of you walked next to each other in silence. once there, he paid for your ticket again without a second thought, and while you did feel guilty about it you also were glad he did so. your head rested on his shoulder again during the train ride, something you didn’t even think about anymore; being close to him felt natural, maybe due to the fact that there’d been a lot of good reasons to be close to him in the roughly three days you’d known each other, maybe because he didn’t seem to register it as something noteworthy either.

you didn’t talk during the trip, the first time either of you said anything being when you told him, once you’d gotten off the train, that you were glad he’d brought you, and tried to say goodbye to him unsuccessfully because he told you he’d walk you home unless you’d report him for stalking if he did so. you shook your head, smiling slightly, and started walking. it was once more him who kept the (so far nonexistent) conversation alive, commenting on anything with a child-like wonder in his voice. it sounded like he’d never seen a tree before, or a street, or a house - everything seemed to surprise and somewhat excite him, and in all honesty you thought it was sweet. he managed to distract until you reached your apartment this way, but he noticed the way you tensed up as you unlocked the door. a day ago he’d have thought your fear was an overreaction, and maybe its intensity was, but after what had happened today he was fairly certain it was justified.

“do you want me to go in first?”, he asked as you wouldn’t even fully open the door, obviously scared of what would expect you. you nodded and moved to the side, giving him the option to slip inside. and a couple seconds later he was in front of you again, opening the door widely and telling you that everything was okay. first then did you relax even slightly, entering with careful steps as if you were expecting to jump out of the shadows and murder you. mingi was right, your apartment was fine, but you weren’t. you hated this, hated that you didn’t even feel safe in your own home, and that there was nothing you could do about that.

mingi soon caught on to the fact that even though everything was fine you didn’t seem relaxed at all, looking around like a rabbit expecting the fox to jump out any moment and devour it. and it was your scared expression that made the words leave his mouth before he could stop himself.

“do you want me to stay the night?” you looked at him surprised, both at his words and at the fact that he was still there - you’d forgotten about him in your worry.

“you don’t have to.” you didn’t want to be even more of a bother. you didn’t want him to get annoyed at your scaredy cat-behaviour.

“but do you want me to?”

“you don’t have anything here.” really, you were just trying to come up with excuses for not directly answering his question, because the answer would have been a ‘yes’. yes, you did want him to stay the night, but you didn’t want him to do so because he felt like he had to.

“that’s fine. it’s just a night, and i only have late classes tomorrow. do you want me to?”

you couldn’t stand to look at him as you nodded, feeling weak and vulnerable and like a burden, but he just said ‘okay’, then got out his phone and started typing.

“i’m just letting them know”, he explained when he saw your questioning expression, and you nodded again. you felt slow, tired, and you just wanted to sleep. and yet once more he seemed to know exactly what you were thinking.

“you should go to bed”, he told you softly, “i’ll be right here.”

“you need sleep too!” it was first then you realised that you couldn’t offer him the luxury of choosing his bed for the night, that you couldn’t even offer him the luxury of having anything bigger than a single-person bed. but he didn’t seem to care, nodding.

“just get ready. i’ll wait.” and because you were way too tired to argue about anything at all, you just grabbed your pyjamas from your bed and left for the bathroom to get changed. you got into your pyjamas and wiped the worst stains off your face with a wet washcloth, but didn’t have the energy for anything else. this would have to do for today.

mingi was waiting for you on the floor when you got back, jacket, shirt and shoes huddled together next to him. maybe usually you’d have been a little flushed at him being shirtless, but in this moment all that mattered was getting into bed and sleeping. so you crawled underneath your blanket, moving as close to the wall as possible so he’d be able to still comfortably fit in next to you. he joined, pulling the blanket to cover both of you, and as soon as he’d done so you told him goodnight, him replying with a ‘goodnight’ of his own. he was fairly certain you’d fall asleep right away by how exhausted you seemed, but he found himself surprised when after roughly half an hour you were still tossing and turning.

“you okay?” he didn’t know if this was normal for you or something to be worried about, but he wanted to be sure you weren’t suffering silently just because you didn’t want to bother him.

“tell me something nice”, was what you replied instead of answering his question.

“what do you want to hear?”

“i don’t care. something happy.”

he thought for a moment before he started telling you about his seventh birthday, trying to remember as many details as possible so he’d have something to tell until you’d fallen asleep. his low, calm voice calmed your anxious heartbeat a little, and you stopped shifting so much. you did, however, scoot closer to him subconsciously, your back soon pressed against his chest as you sought out his comforting presence, his warmth. he wasn’t sure if you’d done it on purpose, so he didn’t immediately wrap his arm around you, softly putting his fingertips onto your waist first to wait for your reaction, to see if you’d shy away from his touch. but you did the opposite, grabbing his hand and pressing it close to your chest as if it was a lifeline keeping you from drowning. he just resumed his story, not commenting on it, and you were glad he didn’t. and cuddled up like that his deep, steady voice managed to lull you to sleep.