#i wish i could draw so i could draw them being silly with sheet masks on

[nakaharaass]

Skincare routine (The Flags + Chuuya)

a/n: I'm in my stormbringer phase, and I came up with this yesterday while I was doing my skincare. Hope you like it!

Lippmann:

As an actor, he takes great care of his skin.

He follows a 10-step routine.

He knows everything about ingredients, and he always checks them before trying a different product.

He buys the best products, and he spares no expenses on them.

Pretty scared of developing stress wrinkles.

From time to time, he gathers all the Flags in his apartment, and they order pizza, drink wine or champagne and they gossip, while putting on sheet masks.

Pianoman:

At first, he didn't care much about his skin. He knows that he looks good, and that's enough.

Until he met Lippmann.

His routine is well-built, but it's not as long as Lippmann's.

He knows enough about products to know the difference between hyaluronic acid, niacinamide and retinol, because Lippmann explained it to him.

He ends up watching skincare videos quite often.

When they all meet at Lippmann's, he usually arrives a bit early, so they can talk about new products, trends, etc.

Albatross:

Do you know these guys that use the most basic soap, and they still have a perfect glowing skin?

He's one of them.

When they first met, Lippmann asked him about his routine.

Boy was like ??? just soap ??? why would he use anything else???

Lippmann hates him (affectionately).

Once he forgot to buy soap, and he used dish soap instead 💀

Lippmann bought him some basic products, like a cleanser and a moisturizing cream.

Sometimes he uses them, sometimes he doesn't.

Doc:

He has really dry skin.

He knows it.

He does nothing about it.

He has a moisturizing cream at home, but he forgets to apply it.

Lippmann always carries some samples of moisture cream, so when he meets Doc he can force him to apply it.

After skincare nights at Lippmann's, his skin feels new and refreshed.

He likes that feeling, but he ends up forgetting to stick up to a routine to keep it always like that.

Iceman:

He has normal skin, and he doesn't care much about skincare.

He had a really basic routine of his own.

Before, he used to wash his face with water, and then he just applied aftershave in the mornings.

Lippmann told him to use a cleanser and eye cream, to avoid developing wrinkles.

He agreed, and now he uses the products Lippmann recommended him.

He will stick to those products unless Lippmann tells him to use different (and better) ones.

Chuuya:

Another one who didn't care much about his skin.

As a teen, he doesn't have pimples. Boy was born with a perfect pretty skin.

But Lippmann insisted that he should take better care of his skin.

Now he uses a cleanser, a toner, moisturizing cream and sunscreen.

He actually enjoys the routine, especially at night, after a long day at work.

The first time he went to one of Lippmann's skincare nights, he refused to put on a sheet mask.

Pianoman and Albatross pinned him down, while Lippmann put it on him.

He actually enjoyed it, and his skin looked much better, but he rather die than admit it.

Now every time they gather together, he puts on a small act of resistance before joining them.

[starker-fluff]

Peter Pan #1

Mafia au.

TW: Kidnapping, Murder, Mentions, aftermath and some small displays of abuse, Violence, blood

And thus we begin the tale of the Peter Pan dubbed Spiderman.

(Peter Pan are people in the mafia who’s job it is to distract the kids whilst other deal with business)

——//——//——

A heavy metal for creaked open, scratching the floor as it opened. Pan squinted shielding his eyes as the bright light filtered into the room. The floor was concrete and the only padding he had was a dusty old blanket in the corner. This was is box, barren and cold. He never wanted to be here.

“Stop sulking. You’ve got a job to do.” A rusty male voice broke through the blinding light, his silhouette filling the door way. The shadow can forward pulling Pan forward onto his knees by a chain wrapped around his wrists and secured with a padlock. He said nothing just slowly got to his feet and followed the man through the badly lit halls. Outside of similar metal door the padlock was unlocked and his chains removed but a bag was slipped over his head. A large hand clamped around his wrists as the familiar scrapping of metal against concrete sounded as he was dragged by the arm.

He had never seen what was on the other side of this door. All he knew was that there was a van and people. There was quiet chatter about the lay out of the house and whispers that were obviously directed to him.

“The target is upstairs, daughter is downstairs.”

“Wife?”

“No woman could stand that guy..”

“One did, enough to have a kid with ‘im.”

“Ey look, it’s the pan boy.”

“There’s nothin’ I wouldn’t do to get my hands on a piece of meat like that..”

“I bet he goes a pretty shade of purple.”

“Boys. Focus. There is a skylight entrance. Come in through there to collect the prize.”

Pan couldn’t hear anymore before he thrown into the back of the van. Groaning as he scuffled onto his hands and knees before finding his way to one corner where he tugged his knees up to his chest to make himself as unnoticeable as possible. He learnt early to never try and escape or to try and take off the bag over his head.

“Alright. Front. Point. Centre. Back. Skylight. Understand? Let’s go.” He heard as the van dipped slightly as heavy footsteps filled the van. The crew was filtering into the van and soon it fell into silence as the engine roared to life. Soon Pan would have to do his job. A job he hated so much that he wish he never existed.

“If you do your job well tonight maybe I could let you out of your room for a night. I’m sure the boys would value your attention.” A sickening voice commented as a hand ran over his head, making Pan curled further into himself. He preferred the box.

——//——//——

The van finally came to a stop and the bag was ripped off his head. He watched as the group around him readied their guns and pulled on their masks.

“Brumlow, take Pan to the room. Once the target as been engaged go for the prize.” The leader ordered and soon Pan has been grabbed by the hair and was being dragged out of the van.

As his feet hit the pavement, he instinctively glanced up and had a wave of déjà vu wash over him. He had been here before but he just couldn’t place it.

“Ow!” Pan screeched our as he was tugged roughly by the hair.

“What did we say about speaking?!” A hand wrapped around his throat, threatening to crush his windpipe. When Pan didn’t respond Brumalow just smirked and grabbed his hair once again to drag him through the house and to a door with cute little drawings of horses and fairies. Pan made sure to look at all possible exits, he would never try to run but it was just a habit now.

“Keep the kid distracted. I’ll be back.” Brumalow said before opening the door and shoving Pan inside. Yet another wave of déjà vu washed over the boy as he was met with the child’s room. The bed on the left wall, drawings covering the walls and a desk tucked into the right far corner with a closet along the front wall.

Pan saw the glint of a sliver frame that sent his heart spiking. His feet moved without his permission and before he knew it he had crossed the room and was holding this framed picture of a black haired man with a young man on his back. It.. it looks..

“It looks like me...” Pan breathed in absolute disbelief. How did this kid have a picture of him and this oddly familiar stranger?

“Are you really here?” A gentle sleepy voice sounded from the other side of the room. Pan turned around and saw this black hair girl sitting up in her bed with hopeful eyes.

“Yeah.. I am.. Why do you have a picture of me?” Pan said shakily, afraid of the answer. The girl beamed happily and bounced out of bed, within a flash her arms were around Pan’s waist and hugging him tight.

“That’s you and Daddy, silly. Do you not remember? Daddy said you might not remember. That’s why we made an album to help you remember. We should go tell Daddy that you are back!” The girl had let go and was heading for the door just as a gun shot went off. Then another and another. There was crashing and banging. Everything started to click into place, it wasn’t déjà vu. It was his subconscious remembering his home. He had to protect this girl.

“Quickly under the desk. I won’t let anything happen to you. I promise. I’m here to protect you.” He cooed to the scared girl. She followed his directions as Pan situated himself between the door and his.. the girl.

The crashing and banging continued. Screams and yells sounded from upstairs but the door handle never turned. Pan brain went into overdrive trying his best to connect the dots. The sounds of footsteps on the roof above triggered something in his mind that gave Pan the whole picture.

Home. Target. Girl. Prize. Skylight. Brumalow. “I’ll be back”. Protect.

The sounds of a skylight window creaking open brought Pan out of his head. The boy grabbed the chair behind him, pulling it towards him and launching it up at the skylight just as Brumalow jumped through the open window.

“Fuck. What the hell Pan?!.” Brumalow grunted as he fell onto the floor, clutching at his side.

“Not my name.” He spoke without missing a beat. Brumalow’s eyes widen almost in fear. He slowly moved to grab the walker talkie.

“Pan’s gone Spider.” Brumalow said lowly and the the shooting ceased.

“PETER.”

That voice from upstairs flipped something in his mind. It was familiar and sent a spiral of emotions cascading into his mind. It was him. Pan was Peter. He was Peter. Pan isn’t him.

The shooting continued and Peter launched himself at Brumalow, tackling him to the ground and landing a punch to his face as Morgan screamed and sobbed in fear from underneath the desk.

“Fucking. Bastard!!” Brumalow overpowered him eventually. Tossing him off and pulling out a handgun that he quickly trained on the girl with a hand extended to Peter who was seething with anger. Brumalow pulled out a handgun and fired one shot at Peter, shitting him in the side.

“One more step and she di-“ Brumalow threatened but his voice stopped as Peter took a step forward. He pulled the trigger but nothing came out.

“Someone didn’t reload..” He lunged at the man once again. Pulling a knife from the sheath on Brumalow’s leg and pinning the man to the ground.

“Close your eyes and cover your ears, darling.” He spoke the to whimpering girl before he plunged the knife repeatedly into the disgusting man’s chest. Once Brumalow stopped moving, Peter shakily stood up and dropped the knife by his foot. He grabbed a sheet off the girl’s bed and covered the filth’s body before he collapsed with his back up against the desk.

“This is my home isn’t it?” He asked as he gently putting his hand near hers. She nodded and took his hand whilst crawling out from under the desk. Sitting herself in his lap and crying. He gently rubbed he back whilst cradelling her as the fight raged on overhead.

Suddenly it was quiet and there was a slow thump going down the stairs, whoever it was didn’t want to come down. They seemed hesitant. Now that everyhting seemed to slow down a unbearable pain radiated from his side. Glancing down he saw his shirt drenched in blood as it began to deep into the carpet beneath him.

“Help..” He called putting weakly, feeling light headed. Suddenly the foot steps quickened and the door flew open. It was the man from the picture.

“I’m Peter.” All he could do was start sobbing as he felt an overwhelming wave of love and safety crash into his head. The man in the door way joined his sobbing as he made his way over to the two, kneeling down beside them and pulling them into a hug.

“I’ve got you baby. We’ve got you. I’ll never let you go again.” The man whispered softly whilst stroking Peter’s hair, kissing his forehead. Peter felt his chest fill with warm and happiness as he was cradelled.

“D-Daddy. Papa was shot..” The young girl whimpered, trying to be helpful.

“What?!” The man leant back, glancing over Peter before his eyes settled on his side.

“Fuck fuck fuck. No. No. I just got you back. Hunny, go push the emergency button!” Before the man had even finished the little girl was on her feet and running out the door. The raven haired man pulled Peter into his lap, putting pressure on his side as the young man blinked lazily.

“Your name is Tony. I have a husban-.” Peter blinked out, head lolling to the side onto Tony’s chest as the pain became unbearable.

@starkly @itfeelssogoodmrstark

[boxoftheskyking]

Something Good, Part Nineteen

Only one more chapter to go!

This whole chapter was written while listening to this orchestral cover of All Star.

In which the Wens make their move

Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Part Six, Part Seven, Part Eight, Part Nine, Part Ten, Part Eleven, Part Twelve, Part Thirteen, Part Fourteen, Part Fifteen, Part Sixteen, Part Seventeen, Part Eighteen

--

The next two weeks are strange. Good, but strange. Wei Wuxian is happy in a way he’s never been before. It’s not the thrill of being brilliant and young and powerful that he was used to as a teenager, before everything. The time he’d been dreaming of going back to. But this kind of happiness feels rooted, nourished, covered with dirt, but surprisingly nice because of it. Not the flash of a firework in the dark, magical and startling, but something that knows from the inside out because he’s built it with his own hands. Maybe not beautiful, or particularly unique, but solid at the corners so the rain stays out.

He spends his nights in the Jingshi wrapped around Lan Wangji, which he doubts he’ll ever get used to. It’s something the other servants have clearly noticed and very significantly don’t comment on. Wang Xiaolu has almost asked him about twenty times but always changes tack at the very last second.

The children have been working on their papermen, and by now they can all at least get them standing upright. Lan Wangji taught them a simple warming charm, the kind of thing used to boil a pot of tea, which only ended up setting a few bushes on fire. Lan Sizhui has an astonishing level of spiritual power for his age, and Lan Jingyi’s hair is a few inches shorter as a result. Jingyi has told the story about seventy times in the week since it happened—by the fiftieth time he has Sizhui breathing fire out his nose like a dragon. It still stings Wei Wuxian a bit to watch them work on developing their power, not being able to do something so simple himself, but at meal times now the children squabble over who gets to reheat Wei-qianbei’s food.

On his second day off ever, he eats dinner in the Jingshi with Lan Wangji. He chatters on about the day, silly things the little ones said, ideas for new activities to try out, while Lan Wangji eats silently. After they are pleasantly full, Wei Wuxian leans back on his elbows while Lan Wangji takes the tray and sets it outside the door.

“What are you doing?” Wei Wuxian asks on a yawn.

“Putting the dishes out for—” Lan Wangji cuts off, looking awkward.

“It takes, what, five minutes to walk to the kitchen?”

Lan Wangji opens his mouth, closes it. Wei Wuxian gets up.

“Here, I’ll take it.”

“Someone is coming for it.”

“Yeah, but it’s out of the way for everyone. It’s no problem, I’ll—”

“No, sit down. I’ll take it.”

After that night, everyone has been bringing their own dishes back to the kitchen. Madam Xiao has had to set up a counter outside the door, sick of useless people in her kitchen. Wei Wuxian finds it all hilarious. He even caught Lan Qiren dropping a tray off once.

All in all, it’s felt a little like a holiday—one of those festival weeks when real life takes a step back and things seem lighter, free of consequences, magical by virtue of being temporary. He’s not pretending the rest of the world doesn’t exist, but it’s hard not to just cover his head in Lan Wangji’s soft sheets and wish to never leave.

In the end it’s not a surprise when messengers from the Wen Sect arrive to ruin everything. Wei Wuxian is lucky enough to catch them at the gates while walking the children back from a day trip to Caiyi Town.

The messengers are no one he recognizes, though the way Wen Ning freezes for a moment tells him they aren’t simply minor disciples. They carry with them a huge banner bearing the Wen sun symbol, and Wei Wuxian snorts at the splendor of it all.

He sends Wen Ning to get the kids cleaned up and joins the heated argument between the lead two messengers and the Lan guards.

“We can’t just let you in,” the older guard is insisting. “You have no passes, no invitation, and no authorization to enter Cloud Recesses.”

“Here, here, what’s the problem?” Wei Wuxian shoves his way into the middle, tossing a paperman out behind him directed to Lan Wangji.

“We have an urgent message from His Excellency that must be delivered to Sect Leader Lan immediately.”

“Oh, well this is awful!” Wei Wuxian slings a comradely arm over one of the messenger’s shoulders, which is furiously shoved off. “What a tragedy for Qishan!”

“What are you talking about, boy?” the messenger snaps at him. Wei Wuxian winks at the Lan guards and turns a concerned face to the visitors.

“Why, His Excellency failed to send a single letter informing the Lan Sect of your impending arrival. Surely he would never have committed such a breach of etiquette willingly, which can only mean something terrible has happened to the supply of paper in Qishan. A warehouse fire, perhaps? All of the paper producers are on strike? Or is it ink that’s dried up entirely?”

The younger Lan guard covers a laugh with a cough, and the messengers look about ready to draw swords. He takes a step back just to be safe.

“Shall I fetch a few reams for you to take back? Perhaps the loan of a few scribes as well, if writing itself has fallen out of fashion—”

“Wei Ying.”

Wei Wuxian turns with a grin. “Ah, Hanguang Jun, I was just telling these fine gentlemen—”

Lan Wangji cuts him off with a look.

“Right.” Wei Wuxian steps back with the guards.

“State your business,” Lan Wangji commands, and Wei Wuxian is surprised that the messengers don’t end up with frostbite from his tone alone.

“We are here to speak to the Sect Leader.”

The older Lan guard huffs at the disrespectful tone, and Wei Wuxian imagines how satisfying it would be to chase these interlopers down the hill with a few fierce corpses. Nothing excessive. A dozen, perhaps.

“Whatever message you have for the Sect Leader will be given to me. State your business before I decide it’s not worth my time.”

The Wen messengers dart worried looks at each other. One shrugs, then pulls a scroll out of his sleeve.

“Oh look! Paper!” 

The older Lan guard elbows him in the side.

“Sect Leader Lan.” The messenger looks up from the scroll, coughs, and restarts. “Second Master Lan. His Excellency has commanded that all Lan Sect disciples shall attend indoctrination in Qishan. Second Master Lan will also attend a compulsory conference in Qishan. Furthermore, the Cloud Recesses are officially declared the Gusu Supervisory Outpost of Qishan Wen. This flag is to hang at your gate, and all sect governance decisions henceforth will require authorization from His Excellency. The Wen Sect will appoint a supervisor from Qishan as a representative of His Excellency, who will be housed in the Gusu Supervisory Outpost of Qishan Wen and assist the Sect Leader in the governance of Gusu.”

Each sentence is like a kick to Wei Wuxian’s stomach, but Lan Wangji just stares, impassive.

“When will this supervisor arrive?” he asks flatly.

“Within the week. He will be accompanied by a company of soldiers to escort the disciples to Qishan, as well as a company who will be stationed in Gusu to assist with defense of the Gusu Supervisory Outpost of Qishan Wen. His Excellency is aware that the Lan Sect lacks able warriors.”

Wei Wuxian only manages to avoid shouting by not knowing what to yell first. Who do you think you’re speaking to? seems about right, but so is You fucking butchered them all!

Lan Wangji just nods once. The messenger rolls up the scroll and hands it to him.

“Your message has been delivered. You may leave the Cloud Recesses.”

“It’s late,” a younger messenger pipes up. “We could use a meal and place to stay for the night.”

“There are inns in Caiyi Town,” Lan Wangji says.

The messengers last about a minute of silent staring before they step back, muttering. The flag is passed to the younger guard, who holds it in front of his face to mask his furious expression. They watch the Wens walk back down the path in silence, then step through the entrance, which seals invisibly behind them.

“Lan Zhan—” Wei Wuxian starts, but can’t think where to begin.

“Lan Zhuohan, give me the flag. Please.” 

The guard hands it over, frowning. “I suppose I’ll fetch a ladder, Hanguang Jun.”

“You will not.” Lan Wangji looks at the flag for a moment, then snaps the pole over his knee. He throws the broken pieces to the ground and then rips the flag in half with a growl.

“Oh, good,” Wei Wuxian breathes. It’s very difficult not to jump on him in front of the guards, but he manages it. “I’ve got a fire talisman here, if you—”

“No. Need to show Brother.” His jaw is clenched and his eyes are burning, ice turned to fire. 

They leave the guards at the gate and drag the flag behind them up to the library pavilion where Lan Xichen is writing. He listens calmy, which almost sends Wei Wuxian into a rage. It’s happening, it’s happening, it’s finally happening, why is no one yelling?

But then he looks down, he sees Lan Xichen’s knuckles white around his brush, the tip soaking ink into the paper, smearing his words, and Wei Wuxian can breathe again.

“What are we going to do?” Wei Wuxian blurts out. “I’ve killed people before, I’ll do it again. Gladly, this time.”

“We have time.” Lan Xichen lays down his brush and delicately wipes off his fingertips on the inside of his sleeve. “A few days at least. We need to get the children somewhere safe.”

“What about the older disciples?” Lan Wangji asks. “Can we stall?”

“We run, right?” Wei Wuxian asks. “They can come back and there’ll be no one here, just empty rooms and rabbits.”

Lan Xichen shakes his head. “There’s too many people in Cloud Recesses. If the Wens are clever, which they are, they’ll already have people stationed around Gusu. I wouldn’t be surprised if the messengers from today are still on the mountain, waiting for us to move.”

Wei Wuxian feels lighting shoot up his spine, like a hit from Zidian, setting all of him vibrating. It’s happening, it’s happening. “I’ll die before they touch the children,” he says, and Lan Wangji glares at him.

“You will not.”

“I will—”

“If we are careful, that will not be necessary. But I appreciate the sentiment, Wei Wuxian.” Lan Xichen rises, rolling his papers and tucking them away. “I need to speak to Uncle. Wangji, Wei Wuxian, if you could check the perimeter, make sure there are no unwelcome guests. Wen Qing will be helpful.”

It takes two full hours to check the woods, all of the hidden paths, caves, and shadowed places. By the time the three of them return to the Jingshi, Wei Wuxian is about to crawl out of his skin.

“Do you want to spar, Lan Zhan? Can we spar?”

“He’ll kill you,” Wen Qing says mildly, blowing on her cup of tea. “By accident, but he’ll kill you.”

“How about you, then?”

“I’ll kill you, too.”

“Ugh, I’ll find a six-year-old, then.”

“Wei Ying,” Lan Wangji says softly. “Sit down.”

“Don’t tell me to sit down, Lan Zhan, I want to hit something.”

“I can’t tell if you’re scared or excited,” Wen Qing says.

“I can’t either.” He flops down on the ground next to her. “I just want it to be over. Or, no, I don’t. I just want something to do.”

“We need to pretend everything is normal,” Lan Wangji says. “If Wen Qing is correct, and she is, they’ll be sending the Dire Owl to watch us. We can’t give them reason to send forces any sooner.”

“I don’t know how I’ll sleep. I should stay outside the kids’ quarters, shouldn’t I? Just in case? Or, no, that’s suspicious. Can I sharpen Bichen, Lan Zhan? Or maybe—”

“Go run around the mountain, would you? Then maybe you’ll calm down,” Wen Qing drops a hand on his bouncing knee.

“Lan Zhan, you’re really going to have to wear me out tonight.”

“And that’s my cue,” Wen Qing rises, flicking his ear as she passes him. “We have a few days, and then who knows. I’m going to see my brother. You two get some rest while we still can.”

After she leaves, Wei Wuxian gets up and starts pacing again. 

“Wei Ying, come here.”

“If I stop moving I’ll die.”

“No, you won’t. Sit here.”

Wei Wuxian groans but sits down on the bed. Lan Wangji sits next to him and wraps his arms around him.

“Lan Zhan,” Wei Wuxian whines. Lan Wangji pulls him over so they’re laying sideways on the bed.

“If we have to run,” Lan Wangji says. “We won’t have a bed for a while. If we have to take the children, we won’t be alone for a while.”

“Hmm, what are you suggesting?”

“You know what I’m suggesting.”

“I suppose we do have to act like everything is normal. If we didn’t, it would be suspicious.”

“Please do not imply that Wen spies are watching us make love.”

Wei Wuxian turns in his arms and pulls a face. “What if they are, though?”

Lan Wangji kisses him. “Stop talking.”

“But Lan Zhan—”

He kisses him again. “Stop. Talking.”

“I like the way you ripped that banner, Lan Zhan.”

“Hmm.”

“Think you could rip my shirt like that?”

“How many shirts do you have?”

“Clothes are overrated. If we have to escape, maybe I should be naked, then I’ll startle people and the rest of you can run.”

Lan Wangji rolls over on top of him. “Please stop talking.”

“I thought you liked me.”

Lan Wangji sighs and leans up on his elbow. “I love you very much. Now will you please be quiet.”

“Hmm.”

It’s a good night. Wei Wuxian keeps pausing to memorize the look on Lan Wangji’s face, the feel of his mouth, the weight of him, the angle of his neck on the pillow, the smell of gentians outside the window. He wraps both arms and legs around Lan Wangji above him, trying to feel their breathing together like one body, blood pulsing through all their veins together. It almost feels like having a core again, being so close. 

Lan Wangji falls asleep on his chest, and he stays awake for a long time, braiding and combing and re-braiding his hair. Remember this, remember this, his brain shouts, hammering against his skull. Shut it away somewhere no one can find it.

He breathes in the smell of Lan Wangji’s hair and shuts his eyes against the first rays of dawn. A few more days. Hold on to how this feels, keep it for yourself, be selfish.

In the end, they don’t have a few days. The Wen advance party arrives at noon.

Part Twenty

[ladyanput]

Seeing Green Ch.10

Quick warning: there is one threat of suicide in this chapter.

''You'll always be mine, my lady…''

Marinette sat up abruptly in bed, her body drenched in a cold sweat as her breathing came out harsh and fast. She closed her eyes and tried to control her breathing, her hands tightly gripping the bed sheets. 

She forced herself to calm down. Chat- No, Adrien could not get her here. He was in jail, he didn't have his Miraculous anymore, there was no reason to panic. She was with the Waynes, they'd protect her, she'd protect herself. Adrien couldn't hurt her anymore.

Marinette opened her eyes and gazed around the large room Bruce had situated her in. It was the fanciest room she'd ever had the pleasure of staying in, with its massive size and the bathroom being almost as big as the bedroom itself. She never had a bubble bath before, but she'd taken the chance to have a nice, relaxing bath with bubbles nearly overflowing out of the tub, even though the water had stung the rope burns around her wrists.

Marinette gingerly touched her bandaged wrists, then glanced over towards her bedside table, the numbers 3:27 casting a faint green glow from the clock. Maybe some hot chocolate would help calm her down. She slid out of the plush bed and silently made her way through the labyrinth of a mansion until she reached the kitchen.

To her surprise, she found Tim sitting at the table in the center of the room, typing away on his laptop, with dark shadows visible under his eyes. Marinette eyed the coffee mug next to his laptop as she made her way into the kitchen.

"What are you doing up? Aren't you tired?" Mari made her way over to the electric kettle on the counter and quickly flipped it on when she saw it was full of water. Tim glanced up and rose a brow at the sight of the Parisian girl, then gave a wry smile.

"When you get tossed around by a man-child in a leather catsuit, you're not really up for sleeping, especially when your room is right next to Jason's and you hear some rather suggestive noises." He stated dryly, then chuckled at the sight of Marinette's face going beet red from his words. "Why are you up?"

"I… I had a nightmare." She admitted, raiding the cupboards until she found the hot chocolate powder and got to work on her hot chocolate. "I think I'll be having them for a while."

"You probably will, Angel." Damian appeared in the doorway, his hair mussed and wearing only a pair of pyjama pants that had little Robin logos all over them.  He made his way over to her and wrapped a supportive arm around her waist, drawing her close. "With what you went through, anyone would."

Marinette snuggled into her boyfriend's warm embrace and found herself with a dopey grin on her face. The nightmare seemed to fade from her mind as she felt Damian kiss her, making her shiver ever so slightly.

“Aren’t you all supposed to be asleep?” Eva stepped in, wearing only a fluffy robe. Marinette chuckled at the sight of the woman’s messy hair and general unkept appearance. “Though, I suppose I should be too.”

“Kinda hard to sleep with hearing a headboard slamming repetitively on the wall.” Tim piped up dryly, shooting the woman a withering glare as she opened the fridge and took out a bottle of water.

“Well, Tim, if you ever wanna join in, I’m more than open to it.” Eva sent him a wink, causing the boy to go red, even his ears. “Hey, sugar cookie, you okay?”

“Yeah… Yeah, I’ll be fine.” Marinette met the pitiful look in Eva’s eyes and felt her gut clench. She’d have to get used to that look in everyone’s eyes for quite some time. Even Bruce and Dick had been giving her those looks the entire evening, making her feel like crumpling into a mess of tears.. But she wouldn’t do that, not to anyone, she just had to get things back to normal again, she’d have to find a new Chat Noir, get back to Paris, find Hawkmoth, and then she could just move to Gotham and be happy.

If only things were so easy.

“Your parents are already on their way.” Eva’s voice cut through the rapidly messy thoughts and Marinette quickly busied herself with making her hot chocolate, ignoring the raw guilt in her gut that began to hurt. She hadn’t called her parents the entire time she’d been in Gotham, what kind of daughter did that?

They deserved a better daughter. Paris deserved a better Ladybug. Then maybe she would have seen the signs of Chat’s unhinging, maybe she could have prevented it. Now he was sitting in a cell, all alone, and it was all her fault, because she didn’t do anything to save her partner.

She quickly noticed the silence in the room and looked up to see everyone staring at her, as if expecting a response. Marinette quickly put on a bright smile and nodded, picking up her hot chocolate.

“I can’t wait for them to get here! I want to introduce them to everyone, especially Damian. I know they’ll interrogate you, but I’m sure you’ll pass the test.” Mari kissed Damian’s cheek, then quickly headed towards the kitchen door, her heart pounding wildly in her chest now. She felt tears brimming her eyes, which only heightened her frustration as she quickly made her way back to her bedroom. Tikki was awake and waiting for her when she got there. “Oh, sorry Tikki, did I wake you?”

“No, not at all Marinette. How are you feeling?” The kwami flew over to her chosen and smiled when she smelled the sweetness of the hot chocolate. She sat on Marinette’s shoulder as the girl settled in a chair by the window, staring out at the moonlit night. “You seem very calm.”

“Of course, silly, why wouldn’t I be calm? I’m on a fantastic field trip, dating the sweetest guy on Earth, and everyone is happy!” Marinette’s tone was cheerful, but Tikki saw right through it in a snap. She had watched as Alya and Lila accused Marinette of drugging Adrien and setting him up for this entire thing, she’d watched as Caline Bustier had done nothing to try and soothe Marinette, instead she went to try and calm a cry Lila as she kept making outlandish claims. And the kwami had watched as Adrien had been hauled away in cuffs, and once he had awoken he had started screaming about him and Ladybug were soulmates.

Tikki silently wished them all the worst luck in their lives, they didn’t deserve her good graces after all they had done. She was about to say something, but a knock on the door drew Marinette away, leaving the kwami sitting on the windowsill. She watched as her chosen opened the bedroom door and could easily make out the form on Damian, smiling sadly as she saw Marinette fall into his embrace as he opened his arms.

The couple laid on her bed for quite some time, just holding onto each other in comfort. Soon the sun began peeking over the horizon, filling the room with a warm light. Damian ran a hand over his girlfriend's hair as he watched her. He had known the moment he'd seen her in the kitchen that she hadn't slept right and wasn't going to for a while.

"I'm sorry." Marinette's soft voice broke the stiff silence as she laid her head on his chest, listening to his beating heart. "I should have seen it coming. I'm the Guardian of the Miraculous, I should have known."

"Angel, you're not to blame for any of this. You did nothing wrong." He tried to assure her, planting a soft kiss on her forehead as he felt her tremble. "He took advantage of you, of your kindness. He took advantage of your forgiving nature and manipulated you and then kidnapped you. Angel, he never once called you by your name when he was arrested. He kept calling you Ladybug."

Marinette had noticed that too. She hadn't been 'Marinette' or 'princess' once during the entire kidnapping. Chat Noir had become so unhinged, he had only seen Ladybug, he had only seen the mask he had forced upon her. She shivered in disgust at the thought.

"But still, I was his partner, I should have seen this, I should have stopped it." Marinette whimpered, hugging Damian tighter. Damian, seeing her tender, forgiving heart, felt pity for her. She could not shrug this off as easily as he could.

"Nothing could have stopped that. He was sick from the very beginning, no one to teach him right from wrong." Damian slowly sat up, taking her with him. "How about today, we spar before we head to the police station?"

…

The duo was surprised to see the training room was in full swing; walking in just in time to see Evangeline being sent flying towards a pile of mats, landing in them with a heavy thud and a loud groan leaving the woman.

“You need to balance more. You won’t always have your powers as a crutch, Eva.” Kate smiled as she made her way over to the scowling T.A,  helping her stand.

“I know, I’ve just never thought I was gonna become a superhero.” Eva snorted, standing and stretching her body, clad in a pair of yoga pants and a sports bra. Her dark hair was up in a messy bun, giving anyone looking the sight of the bruises and bite marks along her skin. Her vividly purple eyes landed on Marinette and she beamed. “Good morning, sugar cookie!”

“Oh… Um, good morning. Are you training too?” Marinette smiled, though she fiddled gently with the zipper of her hoodie, feeling a bit unsure as she saw the entire Wayne family was there. She watched as Dick did chin ups, Bruce beating up a very abused punching bag, and Jason pumping iron.  She nervously gulped. “I can do this another time, it’s okay.” 

“Hey, I wanna see what you’ve got.” Kate spoke up, stepping onto the exercise mat as Eva took a seat on one of the benches off to the side. “You’ve been a hero for a while, I’m sure you’d want a bit more training, so you won’t always be dependent on your magic, right? Maybe go up against Cass here? Just an easy sparring round, whoever gets pinned first loses.”

Marinette eyed Cass’s body carefully, seeing the strong muscle and amazing power in that sleek body of hers. Wordlessly, Marinette nodded and shrugged off her hoodie, not noticing as Damian tried not to swallow his tongue.

Marinette was no longer that slim, shy fifteen year old she had been when she had first become Ladybug. She had trained herself to become strong, to become the hero Paris deserved. She was still rather short, but she had certainly grown,  her sports bra straining ever so slightly against her chest, her arms flexing to show off the strong muscle, and Damian could see the powerful muscle in her thighs, and her abs… Well, they just made Damian feel weak in the knees.

He shook his head, blushing in shame. The girl had just been kidnapped and assaulted yesterday, yet here he was ogling her. He cleared his throat and took a seat beside Jason, ignoring his brother's playful nudge.

Cass and Marinette took their starting stances, then went at each other when Bruce signalled for them to begin.

They both fought hard, many watching as one dodged blows from the other, though it was clear to everyone, even Marinette herself, that Cass was the superior fighter here. Not surprising, as she had been raised to be the ultimate killing machine, just like Damian. But it was Cass who came out on top when she managed to kick Marinette's feet out from under her and pinned her down in seconds. The Waynes clapped and whistled.

"You did quite well against a trained assassin." Damian commented casually as he made his way over and helped Marinette to her feet. "Your center is a bit off, amongst other things. But we can help you train, Angel, get better. Trust me, it will help you."

Marinette grinned and nodded, then felt herself blush as Damian took her hand and walked with her to where most of the equipment was held. The family watched the duo, before exchanging looks.

"They've got it bad." Jason grinned as he saw the looks the two were sending each other when the other wasn't looking. "It's like a couple of lovestruck puppies."

Bruce chuckled softly at the sight of his son coming out of his shell around the French girl. While his son had outgrown that bratty part of him that had come out as a result of becoming an adult far too soon, he was still a recluse with his emotions. But seeing him smile so brilliantly, though it was directed at Marinette, made Bruce feel content.

He couldn't wait for grandchildren.

And one hour of punching a punching bag with Chat Noir's face taped to it, with the poor bag sadly beaten to a messy pulp on the gymnasium floor by everyone in the room, they made their way down into the Bat Cave. The entire group of vigilantes suited up, before turning towards Eva and Marinette, then eyeing the jewelry they wore.

"So those turn you into your superhero selves?" Tim spoke up, skeptically eyeing the necklace dangling from Eva's neck.

"Yes, they allow us Kwami to lend our chosen our powers." Tikki smiled, sitting promptly on Marinette's shoulder. It felt nice not having to be always in a purse or jacket around these people, it felt so freeing. "Marinette is by far my strongest Ladybug yet. She can handle immense power, she's worn several Miraculous at once."

Okay, now it sounded like she was bragging, which she rightfully deserved with all she had put up with. 

"And I finally have a kit." Trixx piped up, warmly nuzzling Eva's cheek. Marinette blinked in surprise when Eva and Trixx looked their way, their eyes both the same shades of vivid purple. "And it's all thanks to Marinette that I found her. Alya was a good fox, but her versions of the truth are… Misguided."

Marinette didn't comment, feeling an ache in her heart at the memory of her broken friendship. All of her class was back at the hotel with Miss Bustier, many of them shaken by their experiences in Gotham. It would certainly be a trip to remember for the Parisian group, especially for the likes of Nino.

Nino. Marinette cursed under her breath and turned towards Eva. 

"Nino broke up with Alya and apologized to me." Marinette blurted out before she could stop herself. "I want him back as Carapace."

"Are you sure about that Marinette?" Eva crossed her arms and seemed to ponder the outburst carefully. "He didn't protect you or side with you for how many years? Given, he wanted to remain loyal to his girlfriend, but still. I would go rushing back towards anyone who's asked for forgiveness, Marinette. They deserve your anger and mistrust for what a lot for them did to you, especially Nino. You told me you'd known him since you were little kids, remember? He should have known you the best and been there for you."

Marinette was quiet after that, not paying attention to the others listening in on their conversation. After a few minutes, she let out a defeated sigh. 

"I'm sorry, I am just… Everything is messy in my head. I just want everything to be normal again." Marinette closed her eyes and rested her head against Eva, who hugged her gently.

"Things won't ever be normal again, sugar cookie, I'm sorry. Maybe we should look into getting you a therapist." That got everyone staring at Eva. "What, surely you guys have someone you can talk about the traumatized shit you guys have been through, right? You don't just go around with this baggage weighing you down and tormenting you."

She was greeted with silence. Her eyes widened and her mouth dropped.

"Jesus fuck, guys, that isn't healthy! That can fucking destroy your mental health!" 

"I can contact Black Canary." Batman spoke up, looking uncomfortable under the woman's harsh, judgmental gaze. "I mean, she's a trained therapist, I go to her from time to time because… Because she understands because she's also a hero."

"Finally, someone with some sense." Eva grumbled, before setting her hands on her hips. "Marinette is going to see her, understand? No arguments, no complaints."

No one said a word, until Dick cleared his throat.

"Shall we head to the police station so that Ladybug can give her statements?" Nightwing stated uncomfortably, as Eva transformed into Lady Vixen, resulting in a wolf whistle from Red Hood. 

"Yeah, let's go." Marinette transformed, then smiled over at Robin. "Hopefully you can behave yourself there."

"Why should I? I still wanna skin him alive." Robin growled softly, his hand resting on the handle of his sword. 

"I'd rather you not commit murder, please?" Ladybug begged softly, giving him a sweet smile. "I have more kisses for you if you behave."

Robin snorted and shook his head, motioning her towards his bike. 

"Let's just go, before I turn soft on the guy who kidnapped you and held you against your will." He said dryly.

Ladybug smiled, but when she turned her back to everyone, tears brimmed her eyes.

…

The police station was a flurry of activity, the usual for a city full of supervillains and roaming vigilantes.

Ladybug smiled once Batman pointed out Commissioner Gordon, making her way towards him and shaking his hand.

"Hello Commissioner, it's lovely to meet you. I heard there was an incident of a girl getting kidnapped because it was thought she was me." Ladybug smiled sadly, being led into Gordon's office. "I am sorry for the inconveniences that were caused."

"Adrien Agreste did kidnap a girl, yes, saying she was you. We got her statement and she is staying someplace safe, don't you worry." The commissioner assured her, then crossed his arms, looking thoughtful. "He keeps shouting about he is Chat Noir, miss Ladybug. I don't really know about who you are, but Batman informed me that you are heroes in Paris?"

"Yes, we've been keeping the entire situation in Paris tight lipped due to safety reasons." Ladybug spoke up quickly, her face looking grim. "And I will admit, the entire situation is rather messy."

"Was he Chat Noir, this other hero that he's been ranting about?" Gordon met her gaze. Ladybug didn't say a word, but the look in her eyes spoke volumes. He knew exactly why she was there."I see… Would you like to talk to him? I can give you a few minutes, if you'd like."

"I'd appreciate that, thank you." Ladybug smiled sadly. She was here to say goodbye to her partner, and also hopefully to stop any spread of her identity, if he were to go back to Paris. She could only hope.

Gordon guided Ladybug and Lady Vixen into an interrogation room, while Robin, Red Hood, and Batman watched with the commissioner on the other side of the glass.

Adrien was lead in, dark shadows under his eyes, his hair messy and greasy, and a look of distaste crossing his face once he caught sight of Vixen, though it brightened at the sight of Ladybug.

"My lady, you're here! Thank goodness, you finally see reason and you're here to get me out! Then we can go back to Paris, right?" Adrien grinned, not even fazed as he was roughly shoved into the chair across the table from the heroines.

"No, Chat Noir, I'm here because I heard you were terrorizing a poor girl, thinking she was me." Ladybug scowled as she crossed her arms, trying her hardest not to tremble as his eyes, eyes such a vibrant color of green, met hers. "Marinette was in tears when she told me everything."

"Don't be silly, Ladybug, I know you're her. I saw you with your kwami the other night." Adrien soon got a dreamy smile on his face, gazing up at the heroine. "You have such a lovely figure, my lady, you've really worked hard."

It took everything in Ladybug not to spew the bile that rose in her throat, but she held it all down.

"Marinette was feeding my kwami cookies, Adrien. I had to go to that warehouse and help Batman and the others save her from you, remember?" Ladybug snapped, feeling her fury rise in her chest. "You have been acting out a lot over the years, but this takes the cake! You're lucky I managed to get her out of that warehouse while Lady Vixen distracted you!"

Adrien then focused his eyes on the silent fox that was leaning back against the two way mirror. Her fox ears flicked ever so slightly as she caught him staring. She merely grinned, showing off the sharp fangs in her mouth.

"What happened to Rena Rouge?" Adrien glared, crossing his arms and hunching his shoulders. "She's a much better fox."

"You're changing the subject, Adrien. You did horrible things to Marinette, you think you're owed my love, when I've told you time and time again that I love someone else!" Ladybug's voice rose an octave as she grew more furious, but then she took a deep breath and stepped back. He couldn't hurt her. Looking at him, she could clearly see he was delusional, he wasn't worth her guilt, her tears. "I'm done with you, Adrien. You're not worth my time."

It was as if reality had finally struck the Agreste boy. He teared up and got to his feet, though her couldn't move far thanks to being cuffs to the table 

"No, my lady, please! I love you so much, we're soulmates! I can't live without you!" Adrien's eyes welled with tears as he struggled to get to her. "Please, Ladybug, please! You're my lady and I'm your loyal knight."

"Let's go, Ladybug. He's not worth this." Vixen set a hand the small of Ladybug's back, carefully guiding her out. But just as they were about to step out, Adrien let out a scream.

"I'll kill myself if I can't be with you, Ladybug!"

That made Ladybug and Lady Vixen freeze. The guilt swamped the former like a tidal wave, guilt and shame rushing over her as she fought back a sob as she looked back at him. This was all her fault, she had hurt him this deeply. She couldn't hurt him anymore, she-

Lady Vixen stormed her way up to Adrien and grabbed him by the throat. She ripped his cuffs from the table and slammed him so hard against the glass, many webs of cracks covered it.

"You do NOT ever fucking say that to anyone ever, you abusive, selfish, manipulative piece of SHIT!" Vixen got right in his face, baring her fangs and hissing, appearing like a feral wild animal. "I should tear out your vocal cords right here and string them up your ass so you can keep talking shit!"

"Vixen!" Batman rushed into the room and pulled the fox off of the teen, sending Adrien sprawled across the floor with bleeding scratch marks at his throat. "That's enough!"

"No, he's not going to manipulate her like that! You don't guilt and scare someone into a relationship, you low life!" Vixen screamed at Adrien as she was dragged out of the room and the precinct.

Once outside, Batman set her down, but grasped her shoulders in a bruising grip.

"You crossed a line. You don't threaten a perp like that, that could cause legal action against you, or worse; make the public see you as an unhinged sociopath." He growled at her, giving her a firm shake. But Vixen was too busy hyperventilating. When she looked up, her pupils had become thin slits and tears brimmed her eyes.

"Doll?" Red Hood stepped forward, a hand reaching out for her. Vixen slapped his hand away and darted off into the night.

"Just let her go." Ladybug spoke up, sadness strong in her tone, though she would later regret that decision. "Just give her some space. Let's go home? Please? I just… I want to forget everything that happened in there."

As the night went on, an orange mist began to spread through the city, emanating from a frantic, hyperventilating heroine.

Taglist:  @realrandomposts @interobanginyourmom @ladybug-182 @ladylb @zalladane @mochinek0 @persephonebutkore @urbanpineapplefarmer @vixen-uchiha @angelofmusickaterinapetrova @thewheezingbubbledragon @northernbluetongue @violatiger8 @thequestionablyhuman @ginamarie1512 @maude-zarella @2sunchild2 @saphiraazure2708 @ayuchan07 @virgil-is-a-cutie @thepeacetea @mindfulmagics

[lovelypersona]

Sunday (Akira Kurusu x You)

A/N: holy shit im writing for persona again who saw that coming!!! 

Word Count: 3,400+

Summary: You used to be friends with all of the Phantom Thieves. But now? You aren’t sure where you stand in their life as you sit in the diner, stood up once again. 

Commission Me

Where have you been?

Been searching all along

Came facing twilight, on and on,

Without a clue

Without a sign…

The rain comes down in thick sheets outside, the water smacking down on the roof and windows of the diner you sat in, undisturbed and dry. You had luckily made it in on time before the downpour started… but the seat across from you remained empty. 

Truthfully, as sure as the weather, you had expected just as much that he wouldn’t show. Akira, though only a high schooler, same as you, seemed unusually busy. Plans always seemed to fall through… but it seemed he always had time for the other friends he met along the way. Friends that you met, too, and you felt like you belonged with. Friends that were all dear to you- but maybe you weren’t as dear to them. 

You sigh as you run the tips of your fingers against the rim of the coffee mug in front of you. It’s been empty for quite a while, and the coffee tastes nowhere near as good as Boss’s. You were upset that your friend had decided to be a no show again, but you can't bring yourself to be disappointed. As stated before, you weren’t expecting anything different. 

Maybe it was silly to keep this charade going, you think. Maybe it was time to finally face the facts. 

Without grasping yet, 

The real question to be asked…

Where have I been?

You were beginning to feel like a porcelain doll. Fake smile, pretty hair… fragile and right about to break if shoved to the side.

Which, unfortunately for you, this was exactly the case since you met Akira. You could feel you weren’t ever a priority for him. Always shoved to the side… to be dealt with later at a more convenient time. It begs the question- what on earth was Akira’s priority anyway?

You had accepted since that rainy Sunday spent alone in a booth that you would never get an answer and your friendship with the entire group of misplaced misfits would never get better. If they wanted to brush you off… you figured you would do the same. Smile, say the right things, do what’s expected of you at the moment… but not a lick more than that. It was only fair. Why give and give when you are never given back? 

You felt hollow like a porcelain doll, too.

I’m a shapeshifter at Poe’s masquerade, 

Hiding both face and mind, 

All free for you to draw.

I’m a shapeshifter, 

What else should I be?

Please don’t take off my mask, 

Revealing dark…

“Has anyone noticed something off about ___ lately?” Makoto is the one to bring it up during their meeting in Le’Blanc. Everyone exchanges glances and nods and the student council president sighs. 

“They’ve seemed… I don’t know? Less spunky?” Ryuji scrunches up his face in confusion. 

“I’d say less energetic,” Ann butts in, “less… like ___. Like they’re trying to be someone else.”

“Withdrawn,” Akira says simply, the one word like the final puzzle piece everyone needed. Ryuji lights up. 

“Yeah, that’s it!” And then he dims down again. “But why?” 

“You don’t think something happened, do you?” Futaba fidgets in her spot, frowning and Makoto softly rubs her back. 

“It’s possible,” she sighs. “But I don’t know what it could be.”

Yusuke hums, a contemplative look on his face as he cups his cheek. “They don’t have family troubles, do they?”

“I don’t know a lot about their home life…” Akira says, and everyone else seems to feel the same. 

“Well, what do you guys know?” Morgana looks skeptically across the room, stretching his back lazily on the table. By now, he’s expected an answer, but as he looks at the group, he sees the lost expression everyone wears. Morgana’s ears droop back. “...I think that’s the issue.” 

Indeed. 

Moments of calm

Nothing left to be found 

A mirror right in front of me; 

That’s where I find an empty glass

Reflecting the sad truth,

It’s telling words not to be told...

Your grades were never the best, but they haven’t been getting better. They’ve taken a long steep dive into No Coming Back- This is Bad territory, but you can’t bring yourself to care. You never really cared about school what with their corrupt system and unfair teachers anyway- you only came for your friends. 

But you don’t really have friends anymore, so… 

You don’t know why you keep going to school if it’s only to look out the window and fail tests and wish you were anywhere else but there- seeing the people you love, being in their reach, and yet never being spared a glance. 

Home isn’t much better either. Your father basically hates you, always has, and he hates your grades- he thinks you’re a failure and he makes sure you know it every time you come home. 

You know you’re a failure.

For a second, you thought you weren’t. You thought, hey, I can do this. I can be someone- something-- if I can be with them.

But they’re gone, and they took a sacred part of you with them, so now you’re stumbling and trying to piece yourself back together. 

But you have no idea how.

I need the mask.

You don’t really care for Sundays. School isn’t in, which means you can stay home with your unhappy father or you can go outside and be all by your lonesome. Of course, the answer is always to go outside- you can’t stand the stiff and horrid energy your father gives, making anxiety swirl in your stomach all day. 

You’re wondering where you could possibly spend your day when an unexpected ting comes from your phone. 

Even more unexpectedly, it’s from Akira.

Akira: Are you busy today? 

You purse your lips and wonder what he could possibly want. 

You: Why?

---

Akira and Morgana sigh at your response. “That’s not really a good sign, is it?” The cat looks worriedly at the phone and Akira frowns. No, it’s not, but at least you replied, right?

“Just keep trying,” he huffs and types on the keyboard, trying again.

Akira: I wanted to hang out, all of us. Morgana misses you.

Said cat smacks at his hand, claws out and all and Akira yelps. “What?!”

“You can’t even give them the simple knowledge that you miss them, too?!” 

“Well-”

The phone buzzes, taking his attention away from his angry partner. 

You: Oh. I don’t know, don’t you guys hang out a lot? I don’t want to intrude.

You: If you wanted to hang out with someone, you should ask the people you really want to see.

Needless to say, his heart sinks. 

---

Akira: I asked you because I want to see you. I’m sorry I haven’t lately. 

You: Do you even remember last Sunday?

Akira: Why?

You: Then you don’t. You wanted to ‘hang out’ then too, but not with me. You had time for everyone else, but couldn’t even give me a message to stop waiting for you in the diner. 

You: Stop acting like you care when you don’t.

Sent at 9:33am.

---

There’s a hot, sizzling, awful feeling inside your stomach that reminds you of anger as you shove your phone in your pocket and continue to walk aimlessly around Shibuya- but with a lot more power in your steps than before. There’s another feeling besides that, just beneath the anger- a watery, upset and guilty feeling. You know you shouldn’t have snapped. 

How unlike you, right? 

You have to remember to play the part, don’t you? Act like you don’t care, act as a friend, act like you’re okay, act, act, act act act act- 

Your phone is buzzing but you can’t bring yourself to look at it as you- unknowingly- make your path to the diner and inside. You aren’t even aware that you’ve ordered a coffee until the kind waitress with sympathetic eyes places it down in front of you. 

A watery, broken sigh escapes you as you hide your face in your hands, trying to quell down your crying, but you can’t. Silently you weep alone in the corner of the diner, shoulders shaking and composure breaking. 

I’m a shapeshifter, 

Chained down to my core. 

Please don’t take off my mask, 

My place to hide…

“Why’d you call a meeting so early?” Ryuji yawns from his place on Akira’s couch. Futaba doesn’t look much better, more or less falling asleep as she leans against the blonde. Makoto rolls her eyes. 

“It’s 10.”

“Way too early,” Futaba groans, her eyes drooping before Akira smacks the table. The sound is enough to wake everyone up, standing alert and ready as they look to their leader. He drops his phone on the table, free for everyone to see as he frowns deeply. 

“We have a problem,” is all he says. 

It doesn’t take long for everyone to read it and for the facts to sink in. “Last Sunday…” Haru speaks. “It was raining, wasn’t it?” 

“Which means we probably went to Mementos…” Makoto raises a hand to her forehead, a guilty look on her face. 

“What do we do?” Ann questions, nervously tugging on her pigtails. “I… don’t think this is going to be easy.”

“The fact we barely know anything real about them and we still managed to let them down isn’t very encouraging,” Yusuke says. 

“I hate to be the one who says it,” Ryuji stiffens up, “but what can we do? Mementos, palaces… it’s bigger than them. We have to do this. We can’t help that they aren’t a part of it.” 

Everyone glares at him, but only because they know that he’s right. Except for one.

“You’re all hypocrites,” Akira hisses through his teeth, his expression furious as he gestures to his messages on the phone. “You all make time for someone! Makoto, you still talk to Eiko, and Ann still makes time to visit Shiho!” The leader angrily pockets his phone. “We all have somebody outside of this- this thing we’re trying to do. I thought you all cared for ___. Are they really so easy to push aside?” 

And yet, something curls unsteady in his stomach. Whispers in his ear, are you free of blame? Didn’t you do the same? Wasn’t it so easy to forget they were ever around?

Akira feels sick. With himself and with his friends. He knows it’s probably just the stress of school and the deadline- but their implications toward their friendship with ____ just--- he couldn’t believe it. 

“I’m going to go see them. I’m going to fix this. They deserve more than what we’ve been giving them.” 

What he has been giving them.

——

Alone in the diner, you begin to dwell on the past. It’s something you do a lot because it’s easy- the present is so sad and hard, so you’d rather think about another time when things were better. You still remember how you met Akira- and by meeting him, you eventually met everyone else. 

He had been studying in the library. Makoto was there too, she always was, but she had a fine way of tuning everyone out as she absorbed herself in her studies. She didn’t hear the relentless whispering from all around the room- all targeted at the new boy. But you did. 

How can anyone focus with all this noise? You watch him carefully- it’s a little hard since he’s hidden behind a cubby, and you feel a little creepy for trying so hard- but you want to know if he’s bothered. Does he notice how people talk to him? How can he stand it?

Do you think he’s studying, or do you think he’s planning his next crime?

The voice reaches out a little more than the rest- when you glare at the person it came from, they don’t seem to notice or care. And then you look back at Akira- you notice how his pen has stopped moving and his shoulders are stiff. 

So he noticed it, then. 

You knew what it was like to be rumored about and bullied. It’s not hard to become the butt of the joke in school- kids are judgemental and mean, it’s just what they do. But this seems too unfair… can’t you do something?

Without realizing it, you’ve walked up to Akira’s cubby and tapped on his shoulder. He merely looks up at you, a concerned look in his eye that you don’t blame him for.

“Hey, if you want to study without any noise…” You slowly start, “I know that the club room on this floor is empty right now.” 

There’s a nervous beat in your chest as you offer this to him. You hope he doesn’t take it the wrong way- you don’t want to get rid of him, you just want to help. You readjust your school bag on your shoulder as he refuses to respond. “Anyway, that’s where I’m going. You’re free to use it, too, if you need to.” 

Surprisingly, he stands up immediately, gathering the loose books in the cubby and putting them in his own bag. You wonder for a second if he’s about to dash off before he turns to you, a sincere look on his face. 

“Thank you. I’d like to go somewhere quiet.”

And that’s how it all started- simple as that. An act of kindness for your schoolmate turned into frequent study sessions in the empty club room, which gradually filled up with more people as the months went by. That’s how your friendship with them all started. It wasn’t the most exciting story, but you look back on that day and the ones it followed with a sad smile. 

The club room is no longer filled with the rowdy group after school. Eventually, it was just you- and then you couldn’t bear to be there alone anymore, and the club room became abandoned and cold. 

Thinking about it makes you want to cry again- but you think you’ve worried the poor waitress serving you enough today. It’s already a little past noon, hours flying by without you noticing it, and you should probably head home for the day. Nothing is waiting for you here. 

As you call the waitress and fumble for your wallet, the door of the diner slams open- hard- catching everyone’s attention as a dark-haired boy rushes through. Your eyes are wide as you realize who it is.

It’s Akira, and rather abruptly, he heads right for you and sits in the booth seat across from you. His cheeks are flushed and hair is unusually wild as if he’d been running, but he grins at the waitress even as he’s out of breath. “I’ll have a coffee, please,” he says. 

“O-okay,” she’s about as confused as everyone else, including you, but she hurriedly walks away with Akira’s order and the people in the diner collectively begin to mind their own business. 

Now it’s you and him- in the diner sat in a booth, on a Sunday- exactly what you were supposed to be doing before. But this time, it’s not raining. 

“You look like you ran a marathon,” for some reason this is the first thing you can think to say. Akira laughs, subtly fixing his glasses and smoothing out his hair as he does. You didn’t mean it in a bad way- he looks handsome either way. 

“You weren’t answering your phone, so I just ran everywhere I thought you might be until I found you.” 

Right. You had put your phone on silent. Wiggling it out of your pocket, as soon as the screen turns on you see dozens of messages, all from Akira. You instantly feel bad, but before you can say anything, Akira’s hand reaches across the table and covers your phone, forcing you to put it down. 

“I didn’t say that to make you feel bad. I get it. I, uh,” he stutters, “I wouldn’t want to answer me either if I were you.”

“What are you doing here, Kurusu?” You ask him before you don’t have the guts anymore. Being here with him… It makes you anxious. You forgot what it was like to talk to him. 

Your choice in name visibly upsets him, but he doesn’t say anything about it. You feel it’s appropriate- you hadn’t talked in such a long time, you no longer felt that you should use his given name. It doesn’t feel right. 

“I wanted to see you,” Akira says. The waitress suddenly appears with his order, not saying anything as she quickly leaves after his quiet ‘thank you’, and then he continues. “I wanted to apologize for not being around lately… We’ve all noticed that you’ve been acting differently- but- we didn’t do anything. And I’m sorry.”

“Well, that doesn’t make me feel any better,” you frown, your eyes stinging as you look at the table. 

“I know it doesn’t… but I needed to say it. And I wanted… to spend today with you, if you’d let me. I want to fix it.”

You know he’s sincere- Akira doesn’t lie, not often anyway. He doesn’t lie to you- to his friends. Immediately, you want to say yes- please be my friend again, please make it feel better. 

But you can’t. 

“I can’t,” you say. “I… it doesn’t work like that. I can’t be your friend again while knowing I might not be your friend tomorrow, the next day, or next week… You just disappear, Kurusu, you all do. You all disappear and I don’t know why, but I can’t stand it.” Your hands wring together on top of the table nervously, your heart beating a bit too fast. You hate admitting it to him, but you can’t deny it anymore- whatever they’re doing, you’re not a part of it. It’s so painfully obvious that they don’t trust you, and it makes you feel like shit. 

Akira seems to be at a loss for words. The two of you sit in an upsetting silence- you want to apologize and make him feel better, but you can’t do that anymore, so you stay quiet. 

“Every… every Sunday,” Akira starts. You look up at him slowly. “Every Sunday, I’ll be here. And I can’t promise I can always bring everyone with me, but I’ll… I’ll be here. All day.” 

“Don’t say that if you don’t mean it,” you sigh and he quickly shakes his head. 

“I do mean it. I told you- I want to fix it.” 

His hand reaches out again, softly grasping one of your own clammy hands. “I can’t tell you exactly what we’re doing… But I can tell you that the group and I… we’re doing something, and it’s dangerous. It’s exhausting. And I don’t want you to be a part of it because I don’t want you to get hurt.”

What… on earth does that mean? Your chest feels heavy as you hold his hand back, worry in your eyes. What are they doing that would make him say that- make him look so upset and tense?

“But I still want to be friends with you- you’re dear to me. I don’t want to lose you because I made the mistake of getting caught up in other things.”

You’re dear to me. 

Those words seem to break you apart. You promised yourself you wouldn’t cry again today, but the tears fall before you can even catch them. You sniffle pathetically, holding Akira’s hand tighter as you cry. “I’m sorry,” you whisper. Before you realize what’s happening, Akira is standing up, moving around the table so he can sit beside you, still holding your hand. 

“Don’t be.” He whispers, his other arm wrapping around you and holding you against him. 

And it’s been so, so long since you felt this wanted- it breaks you all over again and you continue to cry, basked in the warmth that is Akira as he refuses to let you go. “Every Sunday?” You ask him, quiet and meek. A part of you is embarrassed to have him see you cry like this, but most of you is too overwhelmed to care. 

“Every Sunday,” he promises. And even though maybe you shouldn’t… you believe him.

[rpgmgames]

February’s Featured Game: Ressurflection

DEVELOPER(S): charlottezxz ENGINE: RPG Maker MV GENRE: Fantasy, Cartoon, RPG WARNINGS: Paranoia, fear and tension, mild swearing and blood. SUMMARY: Ressurflection is a Fantasy/cartoon RPG set in the fictional universe of the Arbvar and taking center stage primarily at the coastal city of ‘Horizon Bluff’. Its story and game play are heavily character driven, with its narrative divided into two parallels told both within and outside the mirror itself. Ressurflection’s core themes draw from our inevitability of fearing death, and that at some point or another, we all must accept it, and to treasure what’s really important in the time that we have.

Our Interview With The Dev Team Below The Cut!

Introduce yourself! *charlottezxz: Hiya this is Charlotte, lead game developer for Ressurflection! I’m some silly, overactive drawing monkey who works a lot with Narrow on Ressurflection! I’m always sketching and conceptualizing monster bois, taking a lot of inspiration from various games, primarily monster hunter! I’ve had avid interest in the Indie scene for a while now and a lot of the great friends I've made have been due to it and a lot of my recent favorite games have come from it! I would have had Narrow say a few things here but he’s hiding in a corner somewhere!

What is your project about? What inspired you to create this game initially? *charlottezxz: Ressurflection started out as what can be described as two separate stories. Myself and Narrow wrote our own stories and every so often we swapped over ideas or combined them together with each other. One day I said to ourselves ‘You know what? This could work quite well as a game rather than just a story’ so eventually Ressurflection was conceived, around the idea of a mythical mirror capable ‘Ressurflection’ the title of the game. We’ve gone through quite a few iterations of the story before it came to its current form and to be honest if we even showed or compared them side by side they’d be pretty unrecognizable as the same thing except for certain characters, locations and the mirror itself to identify its primordial form having any kind of ancestral relevance to how it is today. As for what Ressurflection is about, I think our synopsis can get that across quite nicely! ‘Horizon Bluff has always annually held its ‘Legend of the Wyvern Glass’ festivities. The Wyvern glass was a long lost mythical mirror, once fabled for its power of ‘Ressurflection’ and coveted by a kingdom now all but gone. That is quick to change however with the arrival of the Roulette Runner’s circus to the coastal city of Horizon Bluff. Trouble is soon to set in motion not just the kingdom’s sudden reappearance but the entrapment of one of their own acrobats within the mirror silver. Yet things are soon to worsen...with the spread of a purple ‘corruption’ across the city and the fact that our most unfortunate trouper is far from alone within the mirror, finding himself at the mercy of its ‘Mirror Maiden’. > The apparent all powerful manipulator of its realm…’

How long have you been working on your project? *charlottezxz: Conceptually we have been working on it for 4 years which is hard to even fathom, however that’s more tinkering around the idea for the story and conceiving it as we learnt the engine. The blog itself is hitting its 4th birthday in February! Ressuflection’s development went on as i attended university, so its always been a side lined hobby of ours.Steam says 108 days worth of hours in the engine and most of the game progress other than concepts has been done in 2019. So I could say 4 years for the ideas/stories and concepts and a year of that for actual game making!

Did any other games or media influence aspects of your project? *charlottezxz: We each have our own inspirations, Lost Odyssey, Final Fantasy 9, Xenoblade Chronicles, Monster hunter and many older PSX titles such as Medievil, Tomba and Heart of darkness are great influences and inspirations to me personally. The dark, dangerous environments of Heart of darkness contrasted by some innocent characters, the monster designs in capcom’s franchise and the storytelling and themes with a cinematic approach to cut scenes found in some of FF9, Xenoblade and Lost odyssey, a lost game stuck in the recess of the xbox 360. There are many more but these spring to mind first and foremost. Narrow himself draws inspiration from games such as Earthbound, the Persona series and FF10!

Have you come across any challenges during development? How have you overcome or worked around them? *charlottezxz: We started the project in VX ace to begin with, until MV released. It was in Ace that I experimented learning RPG maker and in the early days of MV too. Although before Ressurflection’s time i also dabbled a bit in XP. MV seemed more in line for what we wanted, as i really wanted to try animating beyond SV sheets and do more, with Java being a bit more flexible and the scope of it being able to allow dragon bones later. However it hasn’t been without its hiccups! Part of that is the sheer amount of time you underestimate games and certain elements to take in their development. That and everything that comes with it, streamlining, trimming the fat...in the past week alone i spent days optimizing pictures, sounds and music in the game to cut down the staggering file sizes they were. So far they have retained their form without being as costly on the MB! Since I do the vast majority of the game development myself, everything takes a lot longer to develop. You underestimate all the little things to consider and that you may need later. By the end of development, I hope to have the vast majority of the game consist of custom assets and be able to truly call it something that is ours. Though that path is long ahead we won’t stray too far from it.

Have any aspects of your project changed over time? How does your current project differ from your initial concept? *charlottezxz: The game itself has always been a story-driven RPG at its heart, although certain game mechanics have been scaled down or developed further from puzzles to battle flow. As mentioned previously, the story has changed considerably which changed the direction of the overall narrative and gameplay as a whole. Certain characters and scenarios have been culled completely too. At its start the story wasn’t as heartfelt nor was the scope of the story all that big - Oh and the game had a time limit, a bit like Majora’s Mask! But it is a lot more meaningful now and we hope that you will enjoy it when the time comes.

What was your team like at the beginning? How did people join the team? If you don’t have a team, do you wish you had one or do you prefer working alone? *charlottezxz: It has been just myself and Narrow for the majority of the development but we reached a point where we wanted to reach out to find a musician for our game. We eventually came across Geoff who has done the majority of our music up until recently. However we have had friends help and contribute along the way such as Harry helping sprite some NPCs for me, Bart helping formulate and do some math balancing, Vaijack has also contributed to music making him our second musical boi and more on the way, our preliminary demo testers( it would take a little to list them all) and more peeps i’ll be sure to credit!

What is the best part of developing a game? *charlottezxz: For me it has to be conceptualising all the little ideas we have and bringing them all into being. This is especially so for any monster and character bois! I spend a lot of time visualizing and planning the design of areas, locales and creatures. Would this thing live here? Why would it be this way? If this is a historical town wouldn’t it have x and x? Then when we ultimately put it together, and all the pieces of the puzzle line into place and then you can just...experience, the final thing, that for me is the best part in developing our game for me.

Do you find yourself playing other RPG Maker games to see what you can do with the engine, or do you prefer to do your own thing? *charlottezxz: I learn best by doing, so more often than not I just dive into things, including the engine blind and tussle around with it. It’s a silly way of doing it, but I've often found myself learning more that way than following tutorials. Although in any game I've played, RPG maker or not, i do like to ponder and deconstruct scenes within them. The Witch's house, Pocket Mirror, Dreaming Mary, Mad fathers and Ib are all wonderful games that are great to learn from, dissect and understand what makes and made them tick. This applies across any game I've played or intend to play! I look at game making as one giant puzzle with lots of intricate little details that need to be solved, it’s more fun and engaging that way!

Which character in your game do you relate to the most and why? (Alternatively: Who is your favorite character and why?) *charlottezxz: There’s some characters I like a great deal, but i can’t talk about as it would be spoilers to the plot, that and it’s hard to pick any overall favorites. Charm comes across as a fun character to write for as she’s quite witty and sarcastic, the kind of dialogue that comes a bit too naturally to me. She’s a budding magical prodigy of the circus under the tutelage of Jerine. She bigs herself up a lot but isn’t quite ready to deal with the problems of the adult world just yet, as much as she strives to get into it. Then there’s the likes of Ashley as well, she’s the loudest circus member and a close friend to Zakai, its ringmaster. She’s a super hard working down to earth country girl who isn’t afraid to get her hands dirty and jump into the thick of things. Honestly I love all the cast, but there’s those two for now!

Looking back now, is there anything that regret/wish you had done differently? *charlottezxz: I would say ideally we should have had all our ducks in a row before we dove into development. My development style is very messy, especially since when we started development we had a lot of learning ahead of us. That combined with focusing on a lot of coursework and real life things meant I often forgot how we made things for consistency. This has improved considerably since i started getting more organised now, keeping lists and things tabbed for reference. My desk has bits of paper kept with it with information I need to retain. I forget far too many things for my own good, but now I'm taking better count measures! I would advise anyone to keep tabs of important information about your game such as consistent sprite style sizes, resolution size, x and y positions of certain things and important variables and switches.

Do you plan to explore the game’s universe and characters further in subsequent projects, or leave it as-is? *charlottezxz: There’s a few ideas bounced about to do side stories for some of the cast of characters in the circus, such as before they became one and the origins of how certain members joined the circus essentially the ‘First Stringers’ and ‘Second stringers’, these being those that joined afterwards. These would be great to do as small little episodes added onto the game post development, but currently they are just ideas and won’t be given too much thought until the game is either done or close to fruition.

What do you most look forward to upon finishing the game? *charlottezxz: My most hopeful thought is for people to enjoy the game and have as much fun and interest in it as myself and Narrow have had in creating it. It’s the kind of game we want to make and hope that the characters and story chime with people enough for people to see the journey through to its end! It’s a big scope of a project but i have endless enthusiasm for it, no matter how long it takes it will get out there at some point!

Is there something you’re afraid of concerning the development or the release of your game? *charlottezxz: That the games story and overall feel doesn’t quite hit the right notes, it's always a little back concern. From a technical perspective I would say that the game might have some oversighted bugs or critical crashes that slip under the radar or not run as smoothly on other PCs on release. We will do our best to optimise the game as much as possible for MV and squash those pesky bugs during testing, but it is on our minds often as a niggling fear.

Do you have any advice for upcoming devs? *charlottezxz: Gut everything from the base project that you know you most definitely will not be needing and give all your files smart tags and naming conventions. It would be great if MV allowed for sub folders, but it does not so naming your files smartly is key to finding what you need. Any of these files you know you will use often in certain ways, make them common events and call for those in events and cut scenes. This saves you mass editing them later. With naming conventions this could be Actor_1_Hurt or Chapter_1_NPC. Anything you want at the top of the list name it with _ to begin with. The bigger our project gets, the more important this has become for us and we hope it serves other inspiring devs well all the same.

Question from last month's featured dev @rojisroomrpg: How do you keep yourself happy and healthy when making your game? *charlottezxz: I’m normally a happy-go-lucky person, so I'm rarely not happy when working on Ressurflection. It's the happy little hobby I devote most of my spare time to. However, recently i would say my hands, wrists and neck have been hurting from spending a little too much time drawing assets and pieces for the game. Taking more breaks and spreading that time with other activities in between has helped to ease that pain and i would like to advise any dev to do so for their own health, including always having one or two bottles of juice, water or whatever beverage always at hand to sip at as you dev away!

We mods would like to thank charlottezxz for agreeing to our interview! We believe that featuring the developer and their creative process is just as important as featuring the final product. Hopefully this Q&A segment has been an entertaining and insightful experience for everyone involved!

Remember to check out Ressurflection if you haven’t already! See you next month! 

- Mods Gold & Platinum

[kurowrites]

Letters From Beyond - Chapter 4: The Reply

AO3

---

How did one reply to a letter such as this?

Lan Wangji sat in front of an empty sheet of paper for far too long, and still he couldn’t think of a suitable reply. Hei was dozing now, apparently not in a hurry to return home after gorging himself on too many berries. Lan Wangji could take his time.

He considered the empty paper. What did Wei Wuxian want from him? What had he wanted to say by sending him a single line of text?

Wei Wuxian had answered every letter that Lan Wangji had written so far. Perhaps that was already answer enough.

He set the brush to the paper and started to write.

Wei Ying

I do not know how to reply to your letter, other than telling you that I do not wish to make you cry. It was the same then, too. I was angry, maybe am still angry now, though that is no excuse. I simply do not understand. I wish you would let me understand.

They call you a monster now. I have had the misfortune of hearing the stories they tell about you, how you eat children and hunt in the dark with glowing red eyes. But when I think back, instead of a monster I see you asking me to look at the ants in the courtyard because you thought they were cute. I do not understand. Your sister worries about you, and I wonder how you can subsist in a place like Burial Mounds. I wonder why you chose your own confinement instead of justice.

That was your wish, was it not. To be just and live without regrets. Are you without regrets now, Wei Ying? Have you chosen the right path for yourself? I have regretted not listening to you many times. Perhaps, if I had, your sister didn’t have to lament the absence of her brother on her wedding day. How can she believe you are still good when you are clearly guilty of the crime you are accused of? I do not understand.

Lan Wangji

He didn’t reread the letter, knowing full well that he wouldn’t sent it if he did. He folded it and placed it in front of Hei, so he could take it and choose to return home whenever he wanted. Then he cleaned his desk and went to take a bath.

He felt tense, harried. A bath might help to soothe his warring emotions.

---

The distance between Cloud Recesses and Burial Mounds was not inconsiderable even to a winged creature, and Lan Wangji couldn’t reasonably expect a reply before many days had passed. If Wei Ying was still willing to answer him, that was.

He knew he could do nothing but be patient, but despite his best efforts, he spent the next few days in a state of constant expectation, an impatience giving its way to irritation, making him more withdrawn than he already was.

Lan Xichen asked him if he was all right more than once. He only shook his head and assured his brother that he was, since he could hardly tell him that he was expecting a letter from the elusive Yiling Patriarch. He knew his brother wouldn’t judge him for telling him the truth, but he might want him to make the communication public. That, Lan Wangji could not allow.

He pondered over whether that constituted as a lie or not. But then, he had already broken another rule of his clan – do not associate with evil.

At the same time, Jiang Yanli’s words still reverberated in his ears.

Whatever he did, there is no doubt in my mind that he is a good man.

Could it be true? Or was it simply the denial of someone who wanted to protect themselves from the truth?

If this was about Lan Xichen, Lan Wangji would say the same thing without hesitation. He knew that his brother was a good man, that he would never draw his sword without reason. But Lan Wangji didn’t know the relationship between Jiang Yanli and Wei Wuxian, and he hadn’t known Wei Wuxian for long enough to truly know the depths of his character. He did not know if malice and falsehood hid behind the silly mask Wei Wuxian usually wore. He had no way of gauging that now.

He continued to debate the issue internally, until finally, Hei returned.

Lan Wangji found him hanging upside down from one of the tassels that held up the bamboo lattices in front of the windows of the Jingshi, amusing himself by gripping the cords with his feet and swaying back and forth.

“That is not a toy,” he chastised Hei. “I will give you some berries.”

Hei crowed in eager agreement, dropped from the tassel, and fluttered over to land on Lan Wangji’s shoulder. For such a large creature, he was surprisingly light, not at all what Lan Wangji had expected.

He went to fetch the berries he now always kept ready for Hei, and set them in a place he could easily clean up after Hei was done eating, careful to keep him far away from any more books he could destroy with a beak full of berry juice.

Once Hei was fed, he went to his desk. To his surprise, Hei hadn’t delivered just one letter this time. There were two.

He picked up the one that looked familiar to him now, the way it was folded saying “Wei Wuxian” more surely than any actual writing. It was, again, disappointingly short.

Lan Zhan

You say you do not wish to make me cry, and yet I must believe that you do. Telling me these things. That you of all people speak of regret, it pains me. I cannot regret what I have done. I still believe I made the right choice, and have chosen the right path. I have no proof, and so I hope that you believe me when I say that. Just… don’t blame yourself, please, Lan Zhan. This is my burden to carry. I shouldn’t keep writing to you, I know it puts you in a difficult position, but I cannot help it. I was serious when I asked you to be my friend, even though that can never happen now. I am so sorry. I knew when I saw you the first time that you were a special person, and I could not resist wanting to know you. If I had never met you, then I would be without regrets.

Wei Ying

Lan Zhan stared at the letter in shock. His heart was beating fast, blood rushing in his ears. What a letter this was!

He read the last line again.

If I had never met you, then I would be without regrets.

He put the letter down and closed his eyes, breathing deeply for long moments, trying to compose himself.

Me too, he thought to himself. If I had never met you, I would be without regrets, as well.

He fought for composure and reached for the second letter once he felt reasonably calm.

It was much longer than the first one, and as soon as he opened it, he could see that it was written by a different hand. It was also written in an entirely different style. It was properly addressed to him, as well, and contained the appropriate greetings and civilities at the beginning. The writer of this letter clearly wasn’t Wei Wuxian. It was Wen Qing.

He skipped over the general civilities and moved on to the main body of the letter:

Forgive me for being so frank, but I cannot stay silent any longer. Every time a letter arrives from you, Wei Wuxian is distraught, and it is worrying us to see him like this. He smiles and he acts like it is nothing, but I have never seen him as discomposed as when it comes to you.

My word may not be worth much in the eyes of the cultivation world, but I know that he will not tell you unless I do it first. Let me give you a true account of what happened that fateful night.

As you no doubt already concluded, I was sent as a spy to Cloud Recesses by Wen Ruohan himself, tasked with helping Wen Chao find one of the pieces of the Yin Iron. We knew it was in your possession, but were unable to retrieve it. I had my reasons for complying with Wen Ruohan’s orders, and I will make no apology for my deception.

At this point, we all believed that no one else was aware of the existence of the Yin Iron, and though we were pressed to retrieve it quickly, we weren’t much worried about anything else. That proved to be a major mistake. I do not know how he learned about our plans or where the Yin Iron was, but Jin Guangshan gained knowledge of it somehow. Since we were already suspicious and, compared to Wen Chao, relatively unimportant, he must have thought my brother and I convenient scapegoats. We were asleep when he snuck into our dorm that night, overpowered us, tied us up, and abducted us. He was smart about it, too. He knew how much my brother means to me, and he made use of that.

I don’t know the exact details of his plan, but I’m sure he wanted to make it look like the Wen sect stole the Yin Iron, and then planned to get rid of us once we had fulfilled our roles. Perhaps he was truly afraid that the Yin Iron would fall into Wen Ruohan’s hands. Perhaps he was simply greedy for his own share of power. Whatever it was, he showed no hesitation in stepping over a few dead bodies in order to get what he wanted.

He nearly killed my brother when I tried to disobey him, and he might have succeeded if it wasn’t for Wei Wuxian. Wei Wuxian is a magnet for trouble, but it saved our lives that night. He had snuck out of his own dorm that night, to plunder the kitchen or sneak wine into Cloud Recesses or whatever foolish thing he tends to do when left to his own devices. He managed to find us just in the nick of time. He is an honourable man, and did not hesitate in defending us. He stood between Wen Ning and Jin Guangshan without fear or hesistation. Jin Guangshan told him that if he was decided on defending the scum of the Wen clan, he should die with them too. He was the one who drew his sword on Wei Wuxian. I am sure Wei Wuxian didn’t want to kill him, but he also refused to let us die. You know how the fight ended.

As Jin Guangshan finally lay dead, we panicked. Perhaps we should have woken you up, and relate the circumstances to you, but it all happened so fast, we had no proof that Jin Guangshan had been the perpetrator, and we were scared. I was a spy, after all. So we ran away, taking the Yin Iron with us because we were afraid it would fall into the wrong hands.

The Yin Iron is still with us. Rest assured that I would never hand it over to Wen Ruohan now. Wei Wuxian uses the Iron to keep us safe, but the effect on him is becoming more and more visible each day. He is not doing well. I worry how long he can keep doing this, before he destroys himself completely. He says he does it to keep us safe – me, my brother and the remaining members of my clan that have made it to Burial Mounds – so it is no burden to him. He is lying, however. He knows he is slowly destroying himself, and I know that he is trying to figure out how to make sure we stay protected once he dies.

I cannot go against him and protect him from himself. But maybe you can. That is why I thought you should know the truth.

Lan Wangji put the letter down. He noticed that his hands were shaking, but he couldn’t stop it. His heart clenched, and bile rose in his throat.

If only Wei Wuxian had called for him. If only– If only–

He reached for Wei Wuxian’s letter again, and read it once more.

I have no proof, it read. And then, that last line again.

If I had never met you, then I would be without regrets.

Tears rose in his eyes, and for once, he didn’t try to stop them from falling.

To lament for a person he barely knew.

He looked at the letter again.

No, he thought. No, you will not.

[glottia-arts]

Friendship is outer-dimensional

Old story kind of brought back from the grave since I felt bad, but here we are now! Another combined story of @konan720‘s world and mine from AHiT because I liked doing that for some reason before.

I hope this isn’t too bad even with editing out a lot of my old writing, but oh well.

This is also a multi-chapter story, but it’s TBD on whether I’ll put the other chapters up here as well.

Word Count: 4,892

_____

Loud sounds echoed around stone walls, unrecognizable to her ears. Aura was unsure what to make of the foreign land.

Buildings were one thing, sounds another, but the overall appearance of the world was dull and frankly made Aura’s eyes hurt. She never thought dull would hurt her eyes, but she supposes this is what she gets for consistently being surrounded by bright objects.

This applies to only the ghostly residents of her home and her hourglass, but she digresses.

Despite the headache, the dweller surveyed the odd-looking town; Its appearance strange compared to that of her village before its fall. Buildings were larger, more intricate, several decorated beyond compare. Some showcased products that she’s never seen or heard of, others purposes were left unclear to her.

Several people passed through the area, whether by foot or odd contraption. She noticed that some children would ride on two-wheeled objects, a protective headpiece in place as they wandered the streets. Adults, on the other hand, seemed to favor moving metal boxes or larger more metallic versions of the thing the kids rode.

The things they traveled with were certainly loud and smelly, having been up close and personal with several of them. Aura still didn’t understand how they work but was a little peeved that one decided to move over her.

She may be a pure shadow that clings to surfaces during the day, but that doesn’t mean she has no feelings!

Speaking of, getting around was hard. Traversing the town proved challenging, no matter the time.

During the day, there was leeway as she didn’t have her normally large body to contend with. Of course, there were complications due to the lack of shadow filled locations to cross through.

A group of children caught her one time, believing someone painted a spooky ghost on the wall. It was simple to stay still and let them presume so, but she’d hate to see their reaction when they found out someone removed said ‘painting’.

Come the hours of twilight, Aura had to worry over her glowing body. True, she could revert to her basic dweller form to decrease her size, but her body still shone brightly. In order to properly travel, she needed to be out and about and couldn’t afford the attention. She wasn’t a shapeshifter like Snatcher but wished she was for this. Even having a basic human form would be helpful! She’s sure an excuse exists for glowing people, given the several odd things in this world, right?

No, that’s possibly too silly.

The ghost just had to stick with a touch and go method in the towns she goes through, letting her freedom be while she roamed the peaceful forests.

Aura does not understand how she wound up in this world, other than it probably being her own fault, but held hope; Hope in finding someone who might hold the key to her way home.

Several days of traveling later, she sensed a magical signature. Though faint, she could sense a powerful aura in the signature. Perhaps they would know what she sought and if not, refer her somewhere else.

Given her lack of a magical signature, unless using her powers, along with the fact hardly anybody could sense magic flow, it’s doubtful they were aware of her. Hopefully, they were friendly.

Getting closer, the signature began to feel familiar, both positively and negatively.

She’ll have to play this safe.

It didn’t take long for the ghost to arrive in the town she noticed their presence radiate from, but waited for night to strike. Aura had no clue of their lives or what they did but most individuals tended to become available at nightfall. That and she would prefer to deal with them as her usual self.

In the time the large dweller waited she observed this town, getting a lay of the land if she could not receive the information she hoped for. The city seemed peaceful but had held an uncomfortable air. It was possible a lot of negative thoughts and emotions lay in this town, but it might be something else.

It was several hours past dusk when she made it to the housing district that she sensed the magic emerge from. This wasn’t a terrible housing area, several large nice looking homes in the vicinity. Several had yards, some having trees with the occasional treehouse. Seeing them all made her homesick. Hopefully, she’ll be able to return soon.

Arriving at the mystery house, Aura surveyed the home. It looked just like any other ordinary house but much like the town, gave an odd impression. Dread filled her nonexistent stomach, fearing the one she’d have to deal with would be troublesome.

Hating to do this without at least knocking on the front door, the dweller clung to the shadows, traversing the walls of the home into the closest open window.

Entering the room, she began scanning for the magical user. They were indeed located in the home, but not the current room. Unsure of what to do, yet curious, Aura emerged from the shadows to survey the room properly.

Drawings hung up along the walls, primarily done in crayon. The ghost had a hard time making out what the drawings were, unfamiliar with several things detailed, but it was nice to see the imaginative side of whoever drew it. The room lacked much decoration, reminding her of her own room back while she was alive. Not much personal detail was shown, other than the works of art and the quilt that covered the bed.

She may be an intruder, but she refused to be rude and snoop through personal belongings. Aura would make do with this information presented to her. Besides, this could be the room of someone else and not the one she sought.

Hearing soft footsteps make their way to the door, Aura slid into the shadows, hiding under the bed. A few moments later, the door opened and in stepped a small figure. The undead dweller had some trouble making things out from her hiding spot, but from what she could tell, a child entered.

Oddly enough, the child retained a faint magical signature. No other humans she observed in her travels registered with one, so this was new. Additionally, she sensed the one she had followed here, believing they entered with the young one, yet could not see them whatsoever.

A shiver ran down her spine as she fully picked up on them. The dweller now knows why the reading felt off to her, the very same thing she picked up on and was hesitant around Vanessa their entire lives for; deep seated anger has altered their presence, seeping to their magics core.

Maybe it was a mistake coming here.

She noticed the child approach the bed, hearing the shuffle of sheets. It must be the girls’ bedtime, a yawn following the fade of fabric movement.

The girl was ready to climb into bed but was halted by another voice.

“Julia, I think you should go get properly ready for bed.”

“Huh..?” A pause. “But Moon, I go to bed like this sometimes anyway.”

“I know dear child but perhaps a change of clothes and a wash of your mouth will have you feeling better. You might sleep easier as well.”

The child didn’t respond, but went over to a dresser and opened it. Once she got what she wanted, she exited her room.

A few seconds went by before Aura finally could make out a shadow, hearing them open various compartments and even a door.

“If someone’s in here, they will regret ever entering.” They continued opening more things. “Perhaps it’s just my paranoia, but something feels wrong.”

Aura’s nerves were in shambles. Did she disturb something when she came in? No… if he’s paranoid like her, situations that are off are easier to notice.

She didn’t want to reveal herself after her realization but she nevertheless needed to know if they knew anything.

“Um… sorry to intrude, but yes, I’m here.”

A lengthy pause before they responded in a baffled yet hushed tone. “Am I going senile or did I hear a response that did not come from the child?”

Did... no one else speak to them? That’s somewhat sad.

“No, you received a response.”

Their shadow moved from one side of the room to the other.

“Where are you?” They sounded mildly irritated.

“I believe we both know I’m in hiding. If I have your word that you won’t harm me, I will show myself.”

Another extended pause, one she wasn’t sure she would even get a response to.

“All right, deal. Though I want you to show your hands first. No tricks.”

That was fair. “Of course.”

The dweller wasn’t assured the bed would be much of a barrier between them both but having something to separate them might ease both of their nerves.

On the opposing side, she gradually extended her hands out of the shadows to where they’d be able to see them. Taking an unneeded deep breath of air, she slipped out of her hiding place, becoming visible to the world. She still held her hands above her head as a good sign of faith, even when done leaving her safe haven. Now in view, bright blue eyes took in the sight of the one she had been searching for, who happened to be in a defensive stance. Aura was shocked, not expecting their appearance.

Their skin was pale blue, head resembling that of a mask in her opinion, a point resembling a crescent extending from the right side of their skull. Contrasting with their primary skin tone was a secondary one, being orange marks. These marks protruded from their eyes and mouth on both sides of their face.

Their eyes were unique, shaded with blue and red on either side, yet deferred in design; The left eye reminded her of a hypno wheel while the right sported diamonds.

Clothing not appearing to fit into this time frame is what they wore; A large orange cloak with a yellow undershirt catching her attention primarily. To make things even fancier, they wore a monocle and a cravat on their being. As they shifted their arms did she notice cuffs around their wrists, chains attached.

If they were a ghost, she partially wanted a do-over at dying, feeling underwhelming in comparison.

Their arms began lowering, shocked at her presence. Maybe they weren’t used to other odd figures?

Believing they had ample time to take her in, she closed her eyes and bowed her head somewhat, addressing them as calmly as she could. “My apologies for disturbing you, I’ve been traveling hoping to find some help with a predicament. You see, I believe I’ve wound up far away from home and was wondering if you-”

“Aura?”

Eyes shooting open, she stared at the other magic user. How did they know her moniker?

Now it was her turn to grow defensive. Lowering her arms, one moved to her chest as she inclined her head. “How do you know that name?”

They blinked several times as they registered her question. After a moment, they replied. “It’s… the name you went by, not wanting to be referred to as ‘the Mayor’s Daughter’ all the time.”

“You are correct, but how are you aware of it?”

They crossed their arms and tilted their own head. “Do you not recognize me, Lady Aura?”

She remembered most of the people she’s interacted with in life but this specter wasn’t ringing any bells.

“I’m afraid unless you’re a dweller, I cannot exactly identify you.”

They stared at her for a minute more before saying something that threw her for a loop, smiling and bowing. “You really know how to wound your dear ol’ Princy, don’t you Lady Aura?”

Wait… what!?

She stared at him for the longest time, so long in fact, he finished righting himself after many moments, shooting her a worried glance.

He can’t be… there’s. Yes, he looks similar, but Snatcher… what!?

The teal ghost apprehensively made her approach to him, still attempting to process this new bit of information. Was it possible, him the Prince as well?

Standing before him, Aura looked him over once more. “Not that I don’t believe you per se but do you mind if I… check?”

He blinked a couple of times, confused. “I… suppose so?”

Reaching in between her ‘hair’ wraps, she took hold of her pendant, changing its form. Pulling it out, revealed to be a monocle of her own. It was similar to any ordinary one, but held bright flecks of light flowing through the glass.

Holding the glassware up to her eye, her grip grew tight, preparing to see this ghost in any form he could have taken in life. Much to her shock, the glass instantaneously showed her the image of her dear old friend, the Prince.

Sluggishly returning the monocle back to its original place, she changed it back to a necklace. The teal ghost didn’t know what to say at this reveal.

The blue ghost went to touch her but stopped short and positioned the hand to the back of his head, scratching it. “Did you learn what you needed to?”

A nod but nothing more.

“That’s good.” He too was at a loss of words. After a while, the lengthy silence started to become uncomfortable for him. “Well, I know we both have a lot of questions for each other. Um…”

“If you have something to ask, just do it. I don’t even know what to say right now over this.”

“Right.” He coughed before continuing. “If you don’t mind me asking… Did you at least have an enjoyable long life?”

She peered back up to him, unusually calm. “It depends on your definition and other standpoints. For a regular person or a dweller, I suppose I did. For my other bloodline, I barely even lived.”

He tilted his head and she could tell he didn’t want to be rude and ask his next immediate question.

“I died on my 21st birthday if that clears it up.”

The ghost’s eyes widened, clearly not expecting that.

“I... I’m sorry, Aura. I-“

“It’s fine, you didn’t know.”

“Well yes, but on your birthday..?” He glanced to the side, glaring daggers at nothing in particular, angry over the new tidbit. He looked back to her, sorrow evident in his features. “Really, I am sorry. It must have been hard to die so far away from home, even if you were gone on a trip.”

Aura paused, dread filling her. Oh... she had to break the news to him as well it seemed. “I had nearly forgotten Vanessa told everyone that.”

“... That wasn’t the situation?”

She almost didn’t want to tell him, it was both an embarrassment on her part and she dreads his thoughts of the matter. After much hesitation, her head shook no.

“Then, what happened?”

“... Queen Vanessa... kind of... banished me from the kingdom.”

His long silence and unemotional stare spiked her anxiety, afraid of what was to come.

“She banished you?”

A nod and she began to shake.

He ran a hand over his face, a burst of joyless laughter escaping his lips. She involuntarily flinched, not knowing what to make of it.

“She lied about the trip. Of course she did.” His false humor faded, noticing her discomfort. “You have me curious, you know of the lie yet were out of the kingdom, how is that?”

“I learned it from...” How would she describe this? It was such a peculiar subject that her mind had a terrible time wrapping around it, her hands moved on their own as she struggled to find the appropriate words. “... your other half?”

A twitch of his body. “How do you know of Snatcher?”

With all these questions her anxiety grew. She really needed to sit down. His energy set her on edge before, but now it made the nervous ghost want to bolt home even sooner. She didn’t want to take any chances for anything, especially if he lost it as Snatcher had when he found out this information.

“W-well... since the forest is where we all died, it’s hard to miss him.”

He stared at her for a moment before twisting away, floating towards the window. Once in front of it, he peered outside, covering his expression from her. Part of her craved to go over and comfort him but another urged her to stay where she was.

The teal ghost could feel her chest ache from the strain in his next words. “She killed you... didn’t she?”

“She did, yes.”

Her friend didn’t respond, silently staring outside once more.

Aura hesitantly floated to him, her concern outweighing her fear. Once beside him, she waited a moment before speaking to him in a soft nature. “Moon... can I call you that? Or is that just what the child calls you?”

She heard him discreetly clear his throat and paid it no mind, waiting for his response. “I go by Moonjumper now, though you may refer to me as Moon or anything you have prior.”

On instinct, she would like to go back to her old habits but felt guilty anytime she accidentally referred to Snatcher as “Princy”. He didn’t mind, but she didn’t want to bring up things that could hurt him, she certainly wouldn’t with Moonjumper either.

She decided to try this new name out. “Moonjumper...” Ok, it’ll take some getting used to. “This is a foolish question for me to ask, but... are you all right?"

Given his mood, Aura half expected a snarky response, though this specter was good at proving her wrong.

“No... I’m not.”

Hesitantly, she laid a hand against his arm. At the contact he recoiled, causing her to retract her hand as fast as lightning. 

“S-sorry.”

“No, it’s fine. It’s fine. Just...” He quietly chuckled. “You were always concerned about being near me, it’s strange to have you willingly this close let alone touching me.”

The dweller gently poked him to test his claim. This time he didn’t flinch but a slight smile grew on his face.

“Satisfied?”

“Never.”

He snickered again, ceasing at her hand making full contact with his arm.

She was about to say something to him, but the door opening and closing startled both souls, affectively interrupting their conversation.

“Ok Moon, I’m all ready for-” The child paused, noticing not one, but two strange entities staring at her. “Bed…?”

Aura’s eyes darted around restlessly, unsure how to handle this.

Moonjumper stared at his little charge, unsure of how to address the situation. Julia beat him to the punch though, terribly excited.

“Moon, why didn’t you tell me you had another friend?”

“I… um…”

The small child ran over to the pair, shaking out of the excitement of meeting another unique character.

“Have you just been hiding them from me the whole time? Where’d they come from? Can they do all sorts of cool stuff like you?”

Julia threw out questions faster than the duo could process them and continued to do so. Aura wondered if the child even took a breath between rapid-firing them out.

She tilted back, eyes squinting at Moonjumper in question. He shrugged and held a hand up to the child.

“Young one.”

She stopped rambling but was still delighted.

“You must calm down, it’s time for rest.”

“Aw, but Moon.”

“No buts. You’ve been having trouble sleeping and don’t you dare try to deny it. Bed.”

The child pouted as she glanced between both ghosts, but obeyed. If it wasn’t so late, Aura was sure the child would stomp her feet as she made her way to the mattress. She angrily tucked herself in bed, staring at both of them, pout still present.

“Julia…”

She pouted further.

Aura chuckled, floating over to the girls bed and began tucking her in properly. Julia’s pout disappeared at this, taking in the strange ghost.

The large teal ghost carefully sat on the bed, blue eyes meeting green. “If you are having trouble sleeping, you should try to get enough rest while you can.” Her large hand ruffled the child’s orange locks. “I don’t know if I’ll be sticking around long enough, but I can tell you my name.” Glancing side to side, the large ghost leaned in like she was hiding a secret, whispering to the child. “My name is Aura.”

Julia blushed at the odd feeling of having her head messed with yet giggled at the ghost’s act of secrecy. She whispered back, “I’m Julia.”

“What a beautiful name.” She ruffled the girls head once more before straightening and removing her hand.

The child took notice of Aura beginning to leave her bed, darting out to grab her hand. The ghost paused, head tilting in question.

“Please stay.”

“Julia I-”

“Actually, Aura...” Her gaze shifted to Moonjumper. He was hesitating, glancing between both girls. “Would you mind staying with Julia for a while? I have something that demands my immediate attention.”

Aura felt like she knew what it was he would be leaving for but didn’t call him out on it, looking between him and the girl before nodding.

“All right.”

Julia silently cheered, kicking her feet in excitement.

“That doesn’t mean you get to stay up all night Julia.”

Her head nodded rapidly, just happy that Aura was staying with her longer.

Moonjumper’s eyes glanced between both girls, apprehension in his features. Before Aura could question the blue ghost, his form faded, leaving the two girls alone.

Unease began to settle in the ghost’s stomach but was drawn out of it because of the bouncing figure beside her. Never did she believe a child would be so excited to be near a ghost, especially as one such as herself, but here was one.

Taking a chance, she looked to the small child, fatigue and wonder shining behind those big green eyes.

“Have you known Moon for long?”

“In a sense, yes. In another, no.”

“What does that mean?”

“Well… before I died, I had known him personally for only a few short years. I’ve been dead for several hundred now and have not seen him until this moment. It depends on how you look at it.”

The child nodded before adding in her own thoughts. “I’ve only known him a while, short like you.” Her face scrunched up. “I… haven’t been keeping him from you, have I?”

Aura blinked in confusion, tilting her head to the side. “Dear, I doubt you’ve kept him away from me, especially this long, it’s nothing to fret about. Besides, with you keeping him company, I’m sure he’s been happy with the time you’ve spent together.”

“Yeah, but what about you?”

“I’ve been… fine.”

The being fine part applied to current years, but the beginning of her death? Not so much. She wasn’t about to tell a child of her violent beginnings of the afterlife though.

“You sure?”

“I’m sure. I’ve been… preoccupied with other matters and have recently come into contact with others I once knew.”

Nodding, Julia did her best to hold in a yawn but horribly failed. Aura smiled behind her mask, running a caring hand over the child’s head.

“If I’m here tomorrow, you can continue answering your questions. Rest is important.”

A soft whine escaped Julia. “But if you leave, I can’t ask anymore… need to ask... now.” Another yawn escaped the child, tears forming in her eyes from that one. “Besides… havin’ a tough time sleepin’.”

“Oh? Why’s that?”

“I’m afraid the boogeyman will come back…”

“Boogeyman?”

To the ghost’s surprise, the child somewhat curled in on herself. “A mean man who liked to scare me. Moon said he wouldn’t come back, but I always get this feeling that he’s there still, watching.”

Aura frowned, sensing the worry radiate off the child. Either this monster was real or a very detailed figment of her imagination. She’d have to ask Moonjumper about it if she stayed longer.

“Tell me, Julia, is there anything that makes you feel better?”

The child stayed silent for a while, eyes vacant as she stared at her legs.

“... I used to talk to the moon… it helped me a lot. Even more after Moon showed up from it one night.”

A clawed hand went to the chin of her mask, holding it in thought. Well, she’s not the moon nor is she Moonjumper. What could Aura provide that they could not? After a moment, an idea struck her.

“Julia. How do you feel about the stars?”

A slight frown graced the child’s face, her eyes filled with another question as she turned them upon the dweller.

“The stars?”

“Yes, the sun and moon may be pillars of the cycle of life, but the stars of the universe surround everything, accenting the beauty of the unknown. Not to mention, the stars certainly complement the moon at night, yes?”

The child somewhat understood where this was going, nodding lethargically. “The stars are pretty, just can’t see them that often…”

“How about this; If you promise to go to sleep, I’ll show you some stars before you do so.” The ghost hesitantly looked around then leaned in to whisper, “Just don’t tell Moonjumper about it ok? Don’t need him jealous.”

The child’s eyes widened, her excitement reignited. “Whoa really? Ok, I’ll go to sleep after then!”

Not even a second of thinking and the child already agreed, adolescents were certainly something else.

“All right, I’ll hold you to your word then, child.”

Holding a hand out, a golden ball began to form within Aura’s palm, gradually growing in size. Once the golden sphere reached the size of her hand, the ghost gracefully lifted it into the air, letting it float up to the ceiling. Julia watched, enamored with the beautiful glow, even more so as the ball burst into small spheres and diamonds with contact, the light particles spreading around the room.

The child’s eyes grew wide, sitting up in bed watching the descent of the fractals. Several froze in place at a certain height, twinkling like the stars in the night sky, others took several more moments before they stopped as well. Room filled with dazzling light, Julia could swear she was in her own little part of space.

“So cool…”

Smiling softly, Aura couldn’t help but agree.

With a flick of a finger, one light languidly drifted to her palm, twinkling in white and rainbow-ish hues. The action drew in the young one’s attention, scooting closer to the ghost to gain a better view.

“Don’t stare young one, you’ll injure your eyes.”

Registering the words, the child blinked several times before retreating and rubbing her exhausted eyes. She was still trying to fight sleep, but the light of Aura’s magic seemed to calm the child further. Julia slumped against the large ghost as her eyes struggled to stay awake.

Gently caressing the child’s head, Aura began softly humming a tune, seeing Julia relax further. Her eyes no longer struggled to stay open, now remaining shut for the night. To Aura’s surprise, the child still tried to interact with her.

“Miss… Aura…?”

“Yes, young one?

“Thank you… you’re so nice and cool… just like Moon… I hope you get to stay…” A yawn interrupted her as she snuggled closer to the ghost, laying an arm over Aura’s ‘lap’. "… and talk with him… he… smile… more…”

Aura didn’t know how to respond to the child even after she drifted to sleep, leaving the ghost to stare at her sleeping form.

Refocusing on the room after several minutes, with a wave of her hand, the magic particles broke apart, dissolving and returning the room to its natural state.

Returning her hand to her lap, her hands folded together as her gaze drifted to the window, eyes settling upon the moon.

Aura was unsure how long Moonjumper would be gone for but prayed that he would not do anything reckless. Of course, if he was anything like Snatcher, something might wound up happening, regardless. She just hopes he’d be safe.

Her anxiety ate away at her again as she recalled the uncomfortable feeling his magic had brought her before, looking down at Julia with worry. It was unknown why his magic had morphed the way it did, but her best guess would be similar as to why it did for Snatcher; Queen Vanessa. Aura hoped that this would not cause any issues for Julia in the foreseeable future.

Though faint, she could sense his magic once more; the hatred from his emotions wafting through her senses, causing her to shiver.

Thinking back to Julia’s words, should she leave? Perhaps she shouldn’t depart yet, even if she desired to return home. The dweller doubts Moonjumper would go as far as Vanessa with unwarranted murder, but something tells her that there’s more to this situation of his than meets the eye.

If she found his intentions to be unjust, Aura would have to take care of the specter with a heavy heart.

A hand unconsciously slipped beneath her wraps, grabbing hold of her birthright. “Ancestor… please give me strength if it ever comes to that…”

For the rest of the night, Aura remained unmoving, lost deep in thought.

[cutiecrates]

Cutie Reviews: Kawaii Box May 19

Before I begin I have an announcement: later/tomorrow I plan to post a sort of... glossaryish post that will be about ALL the boxes I subscribe to :D Because earlier today it occurred to me, I never really talk about the brands themselves anymore unless they have some update or if I complain in my reviews. I thought this type of post would be nice for anyone who just wanted to learn more about a specific box to see if they would be interested in it. I will also be including my own opinions on the box as a whole, pros and cons, how the box has changed, etc.

So if you like things like that, then make sure you come back soon!

Until then, we’re gonna focus on this:

Word of the month: Tanjyoubi - Birthday

Disney Princess Dress-Up Puffy Stickers

Our first item is a set of Disney Princess Ariel/Little Mermaid stickers. Covered to the brim with stickers, this sheet has multiple outfits, accessories/props, and deco bits to have fun with the sticker doll and then-some!

Besides Ariel, there are other Disney Princess and I’ve even seen they added a really cute Minnie mouse one on Blippo.com. Those in this set each cost $3.90.

I was really torn between all 3 dresses, the turquoise one was a classic for Ariel, and I love how the pink one reminded me of Aurora, but I actually settled for the purple one because I though it looked really pretty on her. Then I chose the shell purse and matching decoration/accessory and a light pink sash to add more to her dress, what do you think?

While on the subject, which dress would you have chose for her? Or would you have given her a different colored dress entirely?

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ 

It’s really simple, but it’s also pretty fun and cute, I love dress-up stickers because of how creative you can be. I mentioned this before but I really want to start a scrapbook or photobook and fill it entirely with dress-ups~

The stickers puffiness is nice and soft, and I like how these don’t feel finished. So I could go back to it a few days later and swap out her purse and hair piece to make her classier with a sun hat. Or I could give her the turquoise dress if I wanted. 

Sanrio Ziptop Bag Set

Next up is this pack of adorable Pompompurin zipper bags. You get 6 in total, including 3 Small 70mm x100mm, and 3 Medium 160mm x 190mm. Each set offers different designs, and besides Pompompurin (who I couldn’t find on blippo btw) there was also the other basic characters like my Melody, Gudetama, Little Twin Star. Each set costs $5.90.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ 

I think these are really cute, and practical :D according to the back of the package you could put all sorts of things in these, and I like that both sets are zip-locks. These would be a perfect gift for any Pompompurin fan.

Kawaii Dreams File

This is the monthly Exclusive item, a file folder featuring a variety of kawaii designs and items you can find on the Kawaii Box box and booklet, with the inside panel being white and pink to match the box’s color scheme. It’s kinda small-medium, about the size of the booklet that comes in each box, and it’s a little flimsy, but for most part it feels durable and sturdy.

You can buy this off of Blippo for $2.90.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥  

I usually don’t look forward to getting these files in the boxes because as cute as they are, they’re always big and bent. This one fits in the box with no problem, so I feel like even though you would need to fold certain things into it, it’s more practical. I also like how despite how colorful and busy it looks, it doesn’t feel too-busy.

Soft Jell Rainbow Gel Pen Set

I loved gel pens growing up x3 my friends and I loved to draw on our things and each other during class (but only when we weren’t actually doing anything important <3< I wasn’t a model student but I didn’t get into trouble either), and I remember just admiring the massive rainbow collection my friend had; she must have had at least 100!

My collection was much smaller and modest though, I only had a few glittery metallic ones and a couple multicolored pastels. So for someone who used to love these, getting a whole pretty set like this just made my day~

It’s also pretty rare for us to get a whole set of anything in the boxes. If you’ve seen my prior reviews (or check out the items on blippo) its usually just one separate of your choosing. This set costs $6.90.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

The colors are vibrant and really pretty, as you can see I did decorate the box with them which in hindsight might not have been the best thing to do, but they still worked once the ink got flowing. They’re juicy and are capable of long lines, writing, dots, coloring.

My only complaint is that both blues (or I suppose you could say one is indigo? Turquoise?) look almost exactly alike. It’s the same in the actual pens, but there’s still a noticeable difference until you go to use them both, so I wish they would have darkened or lightened one of them to make the difference more noticeable.

Cute Animal Friend Masking Tape & Nekoni Cherry Blossoms Badge

For our next items, I got bunnies for both ♥

 First is an adorable pastel bunny washi tape that consists of a kawaii bunny doing some silly actions. I would have taken out a piece to show the design, but when I unraveled a long, long amount of it I saw no end to the pattern >3< like it kept going, there was no repeat bunnies. Each bunny was cuter, or sillier than the last.

There are several varieties you could get, and you can guy them in sets of 4 for $5.90 on Blippo.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ 

Well besides being very cute and silly to look at, I like how this doesn’t seem to be repetitive like most tapes. I’m sure it starts repeating somewhere but for now, I just think it would be cute to use them individually as little emoji icons, like for notes or letters or something.

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From the brand Nekoni are these adorable pastel badges with cherry blossom designs, ranging from animals, a human girl, scenery, and adorable foods. Each badge costs $1.90.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ 

It’s very cute, but there isn’t really much I can say about a badge other than the fact it seems to be fine quality. There was no problems with it or anything to complain about.

Cute Stationery Buddy

This probably would have been better suited for a school theme- but you also use stuff like this to decorate :P so, our next item is an adorable, soft but firm plush themed after various stationery items. There are 7 in total, each with a ball chain and costing $4.90.

I really hope I’m not the only person, but when I saw this (and even now) I think of a snail; it’s a roll of tape! I was so surprised initially but now that I’ve had it for a while I’ve been seeing it more.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ 

Again, I find myself with little to say. It’s really cute though, and the quality is nice, there’s no obvious flaws or issues.

Yogurt Jelly Hair Clip Set

In comparison to stationery, we always get sets of hair clips so I’m happy about that :3 I love their kawaii hair clips and accessories, they’re usually always one of my most favorite items~

Anyway, this set is themed after yogurt jelly and features a small translucent clip attached to a clear, colorful, glittery yogurt jelly attached to it, each with labels, a colorful lid, and a tiny lotte written in the corner. These come in several cute color schemes, each set costs $2.90.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

As I’ve been saying this entire review, these are very cute. They’re also well made, in that the pieces don’t feel loose or flimsy, which has been in a problem with one or two past-sets I’ve gotten, but you can easily fix that with some good glue. I was also very happy to get a very pink set, but you couldn’t go wrong with any of them in my opinion!

DIY Fruity Doodle Pen & Flower Candy

Our last item is this cute little fruity doodle set. Technically I don’t consider this to be a DIY considering you’re just spreading gel on the gummies, but it’s very cute and I really wanted to try it. I started seeing it like a year or two ago?

It’s available on Blippo for $3.50.

As you can see, I got tons of yellow gummies, along with a single pink, and two blues. The gel is supposed to be sour, but it’s actually very light- it reminds me a lot of strawberry jello/gelatin. The gummies are individually flavored, and this is what I thought:

Yellow - might be apricot? It tastes a lot like the apricot jelly filling in the mochi I buy from the mall.

Blue - my favorite, tastes like blue raspberry.

Pink - no flavor I could pick up, just sweetness.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

As I said, I’m not sure this is entirely a DIY so I didn’t make a separate post on it. All you do is apply the jelly, which I thought actually tasted the best out of everything in the set, but it was very tasty and cute overall, I just wish the colors/flavors of the flowers were more varied.

♥ Cutie Ranking ♥

Content -  5 out of 5: I’m not sure they were all my absolute favorite or anything, but I did genuinely like everything we got this month. I found no quality issues or problems, plenty of variety in both the types of items, and for each item. A very practical and fun box. Some items were fairly pricey though, and I’m not sure if I agreed with some of those. Also, we got one item less than usual, which I assume has something to do with the price?

Theme -  ????? out of 5: I found this Happy Birthday theme to be extremely open and up for interpretation, so I had I’m not sure how I feel about how they did on it. On one hand I could say “yes, these are items you could use for gifts or decoration for a birthday“, but on another I’d say “sakura badges and yogurt hair clips don’t make me think of a birthday.”

Total Rank: 8.5 out of 10 Cuties. I liked the items, and I can see why they chose the theme they did, but because of how open it is, I’m not sure how my feelings are towards it. The items worked great and I would recommend mostly all of them. I’m not sure this is my favorite box though...

(I’m sorry but I ended up skipping the last part of this review, I was fine this entire time but towards the end things got really busy in the house and I’m not feeling well at the time. I would have went to lay down but my laptop has been weird lately and I didn’t want to risk losing the work T^T sorry if you were looking forward to that part.)

[levi-ish]

Blood In The Cut | 5

Request: Can you do a peter parker x reader that they were friends in high school but they got apart somehow and when they’re in college they meet again?

Pairing: Peter Parker X College!Reader

Disclaimer: Angst, fluff, mentions of death and panic attacks. 

A/N: Nope, there’s not spoilers here in case if you are wondering. If you want to be part of my taglist, you can always ASK and I’ll add your name to it! Thanks!!

[Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3] [Part 4] [Part 5] [Part 6] [Part 7] [Part 8]

Masterlist

You heard the knock on your window and a smile grew on your lips quickly, realizing that the hero kept his promise and showed up again. Turning around, you stood from your soft sheets and walked to the window, pushing up the glass and letting the hero enter the room. When both of his feet were on the carpet, he walked around for a bit, glancing at the pictures hanging on your wall for a little while and something inside your chest hurt again, just as last night.

“You came back for my care?” You noticed the hero tripping on his own feet, caught of guard from your comment and giggled to yourself.

“How could I not? I mean, my back is as good as new” he winked with one of his mechanic eyes and you rolled yours, sitting back on your bed and resting your body on the comfy pillows, sinking into the softness and almost closing your eyes from tiredness. “Are you alright?”

You frowned your brows and realized that he was talking about the way you looked so exhausted, so you gave him a small smile and crossed your arms on your chest to keep the cold that entered through the window away.“

Yeah, yeah, just tired from school and stuff.”

“Harsh day?” He asked and you nodded, letting out a deep sigh from your nose. “Okay, so it’s my turn now, I see.”

You twitched your mouth, confused by his words and watched the hero coming closer and sitting just beside your feet, crossing his covered legs and putting yours on his lap, running his gloved fingers on your skin until they reached your left foot, massaging it and making you throw your head back and let out a small moan of relaxation. “Oh god, this is awesome!”

“Anything for my favorite girl.” Your eyes widened at his words and the surprise turned into joy, now he earned a small smile from your lips, something he never thought he would see so soon.

“So, I was telling her that I wanted to eat chinese and she literally puked and I was so worried that I actually froze” you laughed hard and put another chip in your mouth, chewing it right away while little tears formed on the corner of your eyes. “And... and then I just asked her if she needed a towel.”

“This is the weirdest story I’ve ever heard!” The hero ate another chip and sighed deeply from all the previous laughing between you two.

You stared slightly at his chiseled chin, feeling relieved that he felt so comfortable around you at the point where he could lift his mask just above his nose to talk better or even eat. It started three days ago after his last visit and the feeling that still lingered on your back from those slim fingers that knew exactly what they were doing, and Spider-Man decided that his new hang out place would be your room.

So you two would sit on your bed, legs spread on the soft covers and eating fast-food or sometimes you felt like watching the night sky from your fire escape, leaning into the railings with your hands hanging in the air while the freezing breeze of a normal Queens night hit your nose almost as subtly as an atom wandering between particles. 

“Okay, so hear me out.” The hero stopped chewing dramatically and let out a deep sigh, throwing his body at the fluffy pillows behind him. “What if—”

“Oh no” you raised your hand, signaling for him to stop. “We played that enough.”

“Just one more!” The man behind the mask whined and you rolled your eyes, giving up and nodding against your will. “So, what if you were stuck in an island and you had to drink your own pee?”

“This is, by far, the most silly you ever came up with.” You laughed while biting another chip that cracked inside your mouth. 

‘What if’ was a game that you created with Peter when you two were kids. It consisted on suggesting a bad scenario and having to put it into a scale of 1-10, being 1 the worst and 10 the best. Since Spider-Man came a lot, you decided that it would be nice to teach him the game, and he agreed, liking the idea very much — you didn’t understand his excitement for playing it, but it was alright — and somehow, you still felt like betraying Peter. After all that time.

You didn’t know how Spider-Man looked like without the whole mask, but you could tell that he was probably furrowing his brows by the way his mechanic eyes moved. 

“I won, you can say it” you smile teasingly and put the cards down. “Admit that you suck.”

“I don’t! You cheated!” He cried and you laughed a bit more. 

“No, I’m just awesome.” You started organizing the cards again and put them inside the little box. “Now you owe me a churro.”

“Well, (Y/N), if you want to go on a date with me, you just have to say the word and—” You interrupted him with a light punch on his chest and earned a small laugh coming from him.

“You wish” rolling your eyes, you stood up and walked in the direction of your drawer, searching for a blanket to warm you both since that night was a bit colder.

“When are you going to unpack those boxes?” Spider-Man asked and you got caught off guard, dropping the blanket right away and bumping your elbow on a flower vase you kept there. It would have fallen if it wasn’t for the hero and his magic web-shooters. “Hey, be careful!”

You turned around, looking just over your shoulder to give him a sad smile and your gaze focused on the boxes just sitting there, accumulating dust.

“I lied” you said, smiling sadly once more. “Those aren’t stuff I forgot to unpack; I just didn’t want to.”

“There’s nothing wrong with—”

“—Yes. There is” you interrupted him, placing the blanket around your shoulders and sighing as you sat down on the same spot on the bed you were sitting before. “Those are my mother’s stuff.”

Spider-Man opened his mouth as if he wanted to say something, but he kept quiet, hesitating. You licked your dry lips and started playing with the fabric of your pajama pants while biting the insides of your cheeks.

“When she died, I had to come home and pack some of her stuff.” You started talking slowly, trying not to remember the painful memories of the apartment you grew up in almost empty. “She always wanted to donate her clothes but I was selfish and kept some of them. I just wanted to have her lavender scented shirts, so I could be close to her somehow.”

The hero stood there, quietly biting his lower lip and you felt the temperature of your body falling quickly, as if another crisis was going to happen right there. Your breathing started to get faster and the man in front of you seemed to notice the trembling hands, now holding you closer to his chest.

You didn’t even process what was going on, you just rested your head there, keeping the sobs to yourself as you held tight to his suited body.

“Why are you always getting yourself in danger” you mumbled while cleaning the dry blood from the small cuts of his shoulder blades.

The hero let out a breathy laugh and murmured an ‘ouch’ while you rubbed the alcohol-dipped-cotton against his skin softly. 

“If I don’t, who will?” He opened a small, corner smile and you swore you could melt right there.

After a while of receiving Spider-Man’s visits, more like three weeks, not missing even one day, you two grew comfortable around each other. He would always lift his mask just a bit over his nose and you would even stop caring of showing ‘presentable’, with no makeup at all and just in your pajamas with drawings of bunnies all over your pants — Clara hated them, but the hero seemed to love.

“I hate it when you’re right” you said and stood a bit too close to his face, your gaze now focusing on his chapped lips while you put the red stained cotton away. 

It was inevitable to not look at that halve of his face and not wonder how he looked like. You’ve tried to match that chin with the another halve but you never succeeded, and then, you decided to just enjoy the moments together and not caring about his secret identity — after all, it was secret for a reason. 

But after some of his visits, you two growing each one of them more closer to each other, made some butterflies appear inside your stomach whenever you got near him. Now, almost breathing the same air and lips just centimeters from colliding, you breathed in and came to your senses — Spider-Man was a great friend, you didn’t want to ruin that. Leaning back and looking away, you started playing with the hem of your shirt.

“Hey, when are you going to tell me about those... hm... pictures” he asked, his voice dropping a tone and a familiar feeling invaded your body, but you brushed it away.

“W-What pictures?” You asked, already knowing the answer.

“The only ones on your wall” the hero said as if it was obvious, and it was.

“I already told you about them” you smiled and put a hand on his shoulder to show him how silly that idea was.

“Well, you told me about two of them.” The hero insisted and you bit your lower lip a bit too hard, freezing a bit while your gaze focused on the last picture.

Before, you wouldn’t tell him about Peter. You never felt too comfortable to talk about the boy you knew and it always took a long while to come out about your feelings from the past. You only told Clara after two years and a half of your friendship and Jax only knew because he overheard an conversation between you two, then you decided that it would be best if you explained the situation — it might have been a chance to put the past in the past.

“What do you wanna know?” You asked, feeling that it was the right time.

The hero crossed his legs and let his arms hang on the sides of his body, clearly feeling a bit uncomfortable about something, but you decided not to pay too much attention to that.

“Whatever you want to tell me” he said and smiled a bit, now warming your heart. It was like he knew exactly how to make you comfortable.

You breathed in and out for a bit, feeling that bit of pain inside your gut and trying to keep yourself together. You knew it was coming sometime, but you could never get prepared; even after all that time.

“That’s Peter” you said and a small smile appeared on your face. “He was my best friend back in high school.”

Spider-Man was quieter than normal, acting a bit strange but nothing too big for you to ask. 

“What happened to him?”

“Life” you answered. “We grew apart and there was nothing that could be done to fix it.”

“H-How come?” Looking down, the hero asked as quietly as a whisper.

“Well... Peter had his secrets and I had mine.” You licked your lips again, feeling the pain in your gut getting more intense, so you just focused on your breathing. “One day, he was there, the other, he wasn’t. And I just couldn’t stand to watch him always leaving.”

“So... What happened?”

“Here comes the silly part, be prepared” you warned with a simple laugh that didn’t seem to convince him. “I liked Peter more than friends. When I confessed to him, it was the last drop and he just disappeared from my life.”

After saying that out loud, you realized how much pain you were keeping to yourself and how unhealthy that was to your mental state. Spider-Man seemed to be in a fight with his own mind while you said those words, so you gave him time to process everything.

“Do you miss him?” He asked and you got caught off guard again.

“Yes.” You said without even thinking, as if the answer was on the tip of your tongue all the time, just waiting to come out. “When... When I was with my mother at her last moments, I wished he was around. It’s dumb but... I guess holding his hand would be a great support.” 

A gasp was heard from the hero’s mouth and he jumped out of the bed, his legs and arms trembling quite a bit while you watched him carefully, trying to understand what was going on.

“I’m—I’m sorry” he said, his breathing echoing between the walls. “I have to go.”

You stood up and tried to talk to him, to hold his hand, but when your fingers brushed against his covered ones, he shook his hand and ran to your window, disappearing from the railing and between the big bricks buildings.

After that, you didn’t see Spider-Man. Until the night after the party.

You woke up covered in sweat and trembling fingers. The room seemed smaller than when it was when you went to sleep and the ceiling looked lower than before, giving you a bit of claustrophobia. Your throat went suddenly dry and incredibly shut together, so you jumped out of your bed and ran to the kitchen, grabbing a bottle of water and drinking until the last drop. You let out a sigh when you were finished and saw Clara sitting on the sofa, her eyes focused on you while she sipped on her cup of coffee.

“Are you okay?” She asked and you tried the best impression of a smile and put the bottle on the sink.

“Yeah, yeah, just thirsty... I think the heater broke.”

“Really?” The girl furrowed her brows and put the mug between her lips again. “It’s funny, because you have always been a winter person.”

“People change” you said before leaving the kitchen and going back to the hallway.

After some nights of waking up covered in sweat even though it was cold as hell, she started noticing that something was wrong, and asked you countless times before, but you never felt too comfortable to tell her about your crisis. She has never been through things like that, so she wouldn’t know; and you had Spider-Man to vent to.

Well, ‘had’ was a keyword. 

Thinking about the note he left on your window made you start trembling again, so you tried to send the thought away, entering the bathroom and undressing to get into a nice and warm shower. You turned the water on and put your fingertips under the flow to test the temperature, entering when it was nice and letting the drops of hot water slide between your shoulders, relaxing you immediately. You washed your hair quickly and rubbed your face, closing your eyes for just an instant.

It was your biggest regret at that moment, since whenever you closed your eyes, you could see clearly the figure of Jax above you, moving forward and back while the messy hair hung on his forehead. You felt gross again, feeling the rough fingers running down your arms and torso, so you started to scrub the area with your soap. 

You felt his nails gripping your waist again, so you moved your hands there and rubbed harshly on your skin, not even thinking about the pain that it was causing from applying such force against your sensitive body. But the way that Jax looked at you, his breath fanning against your face and his sloppy kisses going down your neck to your collarbones made sick, a failure to yourself.

Then, without noticing, you were sitting on the floor, under the water that rushed down and collided with your body. You started to hyperventilate and turned the shower off, jumping out the box and searching through the drawers under the sink with hurry, your shaking hands being an obstacle to find the little tube that you kept hidden on the back of your cabinet. 

You grabbed the little orange bottle and opened the lid, grabbing one of those pills and drowning it with water from the sink. Sitting down on the floor again, you waited for the medicine to kick in just for a bit, so you could grab a towel and dry your wet hair that made your whole body feel colder again.

When your hands were shaking less and less, you sighed a few times and tried the breathing exercise that your mom taught you before, feeling a little calmer, so you whispered to yourself;

“You are okay. You are fine.”

With that, you stood up and slowly grabbed a towel to dry your body and hair, noticing the new red marks you just made from all the scrubbing, covering your body so you could go and put some clothes one. You chose an beige sweater and jeans, putting on a red hoodie and a denim jacked to protect from the cold New York breeze. Putting your sneakers, you grabbed your scarf and blew your hair quickly, knowing that you would be late for class if you didn’t leave soon.

When you walked to the kitchen again to grab coffee, there wasn’t any left. Clara wasn’t there, but she put a note on the fridge saying that Harry gave her a ride and apologized for not leaving any coffee for you, making you laugh a little. You just searched for a granola bar to eat on the way.

The train was pretty empty, so you had a quiet trip until you got to the University. When you arrived, you just jumped out of the wagon and walked to the campus, noticing you had some free time until your first class started, so dropping by the campus café seemed like a nice idea.

You looked above while walking, watching the muggy weather and the naked trees shaking slightly with the breezed that crossed paths with the day. You remembered the nights with the infamous hero where you two would lean against the railing and sneezing a lot because of the cold and the same breeze blowing around by Mother Nature — nice thoughts, if only it wasn’t for your screw up. 

Pushing the glass doors, you entered the place and your nostrils immediately caught the vanilla and cinnamon scent that wandered around the tables. You looked between the tables and saw only a few people sitting there, enjoying their drinks and food, and your stomach begged for something, even though your mind knew that the probability of you throwing up everything that came down your throat was big. 

But you went to the counter, not minding the warnings of your mind and ordering a double expresso and an oat muffin.

“(Y/N)!” You heard someone call your name and searched for the voice.

You saw Clara sitting there with Harry by her side, both of them with hot cocoas between their hands. You smiled and waved back, approaching the couple and saluting them quietly, receiving smiles from both of them.

“Please, be our guest” she said, playfully and you placed your plate and cup of coffee on the table, joining them. 

You took a moment to analyze Harry and almost rolled your eyes to yourself — not because he was a bad person, no — because of his good looks and the aura that almost screamed ‘perfection’ whenever you saw him. He always had his hair slicked back perfectly, not even a lock out of place and clothes looking fresh out of laundry, plus the expensive cologne he always wore. You and Clara joked about him being a sugar daddy, but you knew how much she liked him.

“So... We were just talking about the party.” Clara said and your body froze again, knowing that the question would pop up anytime soon. “Harry loved my bartender skills.”

“Did I?” He asked and she playfully punched him on the chest. 

“She always does that” you said, smiling. “Throws the bottles up and thinks that she’s the bartender.”

“I already got the listening skills” the girl defends herself and you two laugh a bit while you sip on your coffee.

Harry rolled his eyes and sipped on his drink, licking the droplets of hot cocoa on his lips and stared at his girlfriend. “But she made cheap wine taste nice, I’ll give you that.”

“I’m Italian, baby. That’s my job” the girl winked and you fell into laughter again. “But, hey, (Y/N), you disappeared at the end of the party. Where were you?” There. 

That moment, everything that was far from your mind came into the light once more. You sighed and did what you always did best; pretended to be okay.

“I was just tired” you said with a nice smile. “I went to bed early.” It wasn’t a total lie.

“Oh, right. I’m sorry, it’s my fault” she said and twitched her lip. “I never told you that I was throwing that party and—”

Clara was interrupted by Harry’s phone that went off and he grabbed it almost immediately, catching both of your attention. 

“No, Pete, are you sure?” He said and his brows furrowed, making you regret being worried. 

You knew that he was talking to Peter, but you didn’t want to give too much attention to that. You sighed — at least Peter was the only one not involved in your big mess. 

“Okay, I’ll do it.” Harry licked his lips and turned his phone off. “Sometimes I don’t get Peter.”

“What happened now?” Clara asked and you pretended not to be interested, eating your muffin quietly, feeling the same pain that grew inside you whenever you heard his name.

“He broke up with his girlfriend” said the boy and you chocked on the piece you were chewing. 

Both their attentions fell on you, so, while blushing, you waved it off and sipped on your coffee to down that piece of muffin stuck on your throat, coughing hysterically. 

“Well, is he sad? We could grab a croissant for him.” Clara suggested and her boyfriend bit his lip.

“Actually, he’s more than fine. He was never serious about that girl.” Harry said and you felt the pain go away. “He’s just staying in today because his classes got cancelled.”

Before Clara could say anything else, the sound of sirens grew on the background, making you turn your head to the big windows and watch as police cars and firemen run down the street, to the direction of the big old building that was used as a library before, but now was just empty.

Everyone around you stood up to see what was going on, and then the news channel got a bit louder since the barista turned the volume on. You focused on the small TV and watched carefully the images of a bomb; a bomb, and then you heard an explosion, looking at the old building and seeing that it had just turned into ashes in a question of seconds.

Clara gasped and Harry stood up, grabbing her hand.

“Let’s get out of here” he said and looked at you, seeing that you were stunned by the scene right across the street and the big orange flames eating down the old library. “C’mon, (Y/N), we need to get safe.”

“You two go, I’m... I’m right behind you” you said and watched them both leaving the café, as everyone else. 

No, it wasn’t like the movies, the explosion wasn’t that big and there wasn’t a lot of hysteric people screaming and running around with their hands in the air; but it was similar, and scary as fuck. You watched as the baristas left the place, screaming for you to save yourself, but you didn’t listen, stunned by the windows and trying to find Spider-Man between the bricks that fell from the walls, or even his red and blue suit raising from the flames.

Nothing made sense to you until the moment that a big piece of wall came in your way, ready to smash you and crush the glass windows that you stood in front of, so you acted by adrenaline that rushed inside your veins and hid inside the restroom, closing the door and sitting on the floor, listening carefully to the sound of glass breaking and more screaming. 

Your trembling hand came to your mouth to kept you from crying or screaming — you didn’t even know what you were doing anymore. Trying to control your breathing, you closed your eyes and a big clash that was accompanied by a high sound and pieces of the ceiling falling on the floor made you let out a scream and hide under the sink.

Then, you saw the infamous red and blue suit right in front of you, just staring into your soul with the big mechanic eyes while you felt like your chest was going to explode from all the hyperventilation, so you grabbed your knees closer to your body and stared back, trying to say something, anything, and hoping he would do the same.

But the hero only grabbed you and shoot his web from behind the building, swinging quickly on the air, not even giving you time to process everything that was going on, just placing you on the grass and staring a bit more. You wished he wouldn’t say anything now, knowing that anything would make the situation even worse, and you weren’t prepared to hear.

However, when you watched the hero leave back to his battle, you felt that anything would be better than his torturous silence.

TAGLIST: @marveldirewolf @stephie-senpai@fearsynergy@ineedanewbackpack@teamnatasha@thegirlofgardenias@tomhllvnds @hillywooddestiel @embrel@yourwonderbelle@jamienerd03@unicorn-sparkles123 @catnolannn @spider-mendes@1enchantedfantasy1@harashoruby @aelin-firehearts-court @felicia-can-fly@icat8 @starlightfound @immsmarvel @bury-my-love-inthe-moondust @tiau-man @instagrammodeltom @devastate-my-space @whovian1077 @sassygis@prettytravesty @whydididothis44 @who-cares-rn @ultrunning @phantastic-fandoms @darlingimawriter @pastellfarben  

[alien-origins]

                               💞 let’s start 2018 with loads of love💞

through this year i’ve gotten to know a lot of lovely people and i’ve had the chance to get to know some of them and some i hope to talk to more in 2018! you all make me so happy💞💞💞 and i’m so full love :(( thank youeveryone for brightening up my dash with your silly posts and support! 2017 was rough so let’s hope for a better 2018 now! writing ‘love’ this many times is hard for me being a aqua but my libra moon can’t stop!! i’ve written little messages to those i’ve talked to this year and i really hope i haven’t missed anyone i’d feel horrible, but i hope i get to talk to all of my lovely mutuals more in 2018 and i care about each and every one of you sooooo much!!💗💞💞 

i also want to share a few words that i learned at the start of 2017 that might be good for people to read now when things are rough and to keep in mind once 2018 starts! you can’t be happy every day, but there’s something to be happy about every day💓💗💓

                                     🎉🎊🎉 happy 2018! 🎉🎊🎉

💝@alphahailang jovi, my sweet child whom i love very much... i’m pretty sure you were on of the first people i talked to on here and i adopted you within 0.003 seconds. you’re one of the sweetest people i’ve ever come across and you care so much about other people, it’s really beautiful. i’m lucky to have you as a child friend, you really are the sweetest. every time i declare i want to protect you you always tell me you’ll protect me and you just make me feel all warm and cosy. thank you for putting up with my krisho spams and thank you for lighting up my days with your presence!

💝@1adyluck shit girl i still have a drunk ask from you in my ask box when we talked about yifan i think. and how can i forget the nasty round of would you rather we had in the beginning of the year when i sat at a café for a whole day until my ass died. you’re really kind and i always smile when i see your url and i miss talking to you but i guess i can try to do better in 2k18 with that! i hope you’ve had a good 2017 though darling!!

💝@bunmyun my fellow nordic binch whom i love... i always get so hyped when i find out that my mutuals are from up here bc we suffer in more ways than one. and i love yelling abt myeon with you and you’re so sweet and i love checking out what you’re doing on snap. we haven’t talked in a while and sjdoaish shit i’m sorry i really suck at holding conversations but ily sm my amazing gal and i can’t wait to yell abt kim junmyeon with you in 2018!

💝@crownkingzyx not to be a libra moon but ily??? you never fail to make me smile and is2g in some way all our conversations are laced with “i’m a aqua so...” and tbh a fellow aqua friend??? best thing ever. tho we can never get into an argument bc then we’ll just never talk :// aquas are so annoying ugh why are we like this? either way, we’ve talked for a while and i remember complaining about my school when we were sewing and someone changed the thread in one of the machines to talking abt kpop zodiacs and i love talking to you!

💝@bulba-suho-r :^) krisho huh, girl i promise you, i can feel it in my bones, that 2018 will be the year of krisho. we gotta get one fresh moment of them right?? this is the year! and girl, i love yelling about our boys with you :(( you’re such a nice gal that i love with my lil heart. let’s never stop yell about them and wow i hope this year has treated you good!

💝@taos-left-eyelid my child! god i’m so proud of you really :(( like you work so hard and i’m glad to watch you grow and help you when i can. you’re so sweet and adorable i’m really glad to have you as a child friend !! you’re the sweetheart and i’m just all happy when i see you on my dash, but i swear to god if you try ramen with milk i’m disowning you. your dad will have to take care of you after that :// i bet he uses milk in his rame :/// ily i hope you can take it easy in 2018!

💝@co-kai-ne askasjio like i feel like all i’ve ever done is send you weird asks and drawings and bothered you with furries since i followed you and i’d say that i’m sorry and i won’t do it in 2018 but we all know i can’t hold that promise. however!! you’re really chill and you make me laugh a whole lot! in 2018 me and myeon won’t come by at 6am to do yoga, we’ll be giving you and pcy some privacy!

💝@kai-aaah sis :(( my bunny sis as well i hope that the buns are glad and healthy and i hope that you are as well! i tbh will never get over your url, i love it so much and just like i love you sweetie! i’m lucky to have such a nice sister, when can i replace you with my real sister??? we can do a exchange program! and i can make you soup and we can talk bunnies! ily darling take care <3

💝@bbtoben ah big oh, idk we’ve barley been mutuals for a few months???? but damn do ily??? from writing in casp about how your father is a failure to planing a trip to korea! and honestly you’re so much fun to talk to and i get really happy when i see you reply to my messages, ily !! :(( you’re such a cutie and i hope things will be good for you in 2018 and that you can meet my bunnies bc they wanna meet you <3 take care now!

💝@ratbyun we haven’t been mutuals for very long but we’ve exposed so many kinks to each other i don’t think we can go back from that :// we have to stay like this now so no one can rat out the other haahah i love my attempts at jokes! it’s always nice talking nasties with you bc neither of us have any shame and that makes me feel at home and ily!

💝@saranghaeyeols sweetie you’re such a warm hug :(( the sweetest :( i’m sorry i haven’t talked to you much and tings got messy nowin the end of the year. but you’re really caring and amazing, i hope you’re taking care of yourself and get rest! all i wanna do is bake you cookies and hug you like you’re so nice it hurts me <3 ily and i hope 2018 will treat you good!

💝@princeksoo aaskjdoi my sweet child! i have no idea how to convince you that i’m not cool but i’m a huge nerd that loves you :(( i like talking to you the little convos we do have here and there, you’re just so cute and happy i’m <333 wow a sweet pea :(( all i wanna do is hug you and be here to give you advice in life even if most of it has been nsfw oh god what kind of mother am i??? i’ll gladly answer any questions you have in 2018 as well and take care in the new year darling!

💝@dwlwrma we haven’t talked all that much but i still consider you a dear friend and i care about you :(( you’re really sweet and thoughtful and i hope i can talk to you more in the new year and that you take care of yourself! <3 it was really kind of you to check on me and i can tell you i’m doing much better now and i hope you’re doing well as well!

💝@snowmanguk hey darling i hope you’re doing good and taking care of yourself <3 i love you loads and i really wish i could hug you, wrap you up in a blanket and take a nap with you? you deserve the whole world and i hope that 2018 will treat you so well because you deserve it so much and if not i’ll personally fight time (tao???) for you to be happy. take care and relax okay sweetie? ily!

💝@atttaboy :(( we’ve talked a lot this year and most of it has been rather serious i think but we’ve had cutesy light hearted conversations as well! and i’m so happy to see things go well for you <33 you mean a lot to me and so does your happiness™ i really hope that 2018 will be even better for you and that you can stay happy for long and that we we can continue talking! <3 ily darling!

💝@mr-kris-wu-yi-fan binch, i legit think i cried when i realized you were a kris stan from one of the nordic countries like??? i didn’t even think they existed? but here we are!! i love crying over kris’ dick with you it’s really nice actually and i can’t believe we haven’t seen it yet :// we deserve™ to see it and sit on it honestly. i’m so happy to have found a nasty kris stan like me and some day we gonna sit on his dick girl i swear...have fun in china and try to get him! <3

💝@fxrlife i’ve exposed so much to you i can never not talk to you now ashiuhdu, i’ve been a lil off the past weeks but i’m doing better and i miss talking to you. i need to yell abt nasty stuff and exo! also like i am gonna make that mood board i just got so much to do rn it’s coming up tho you wait!! you’re a sweetheart and so much fun to talk to, i really hope 2018 will be good to you darling!

💝@deathbykaisoo god i can’t wait to move to a farm with you with loads of puppies and bunnies! we gonna have it so chill and i’ll bring all my sheet masks and we can have such a nice time petting puppies and have nice skin :(( you’re a sweetheart and the times we talk i always get happy and i hope to get more of that in 2018, take care sweetie!

💝@moutonrose first of all i can’t believe that i found a mom??? for my whole life i’ve had the mom title and wow it’s amazing?? i love yelling about all our damn aus we come up with and i can’t wait to share them with the world askhdoiash. i’m so glad that you liked the care package from japan i got and you gotta tell me once you try the candy if it was good bc i only like the chocolate in that one really! you’re amazing and such a beautiful person inside and out ily :((

💝@lofiloey we haven’t been mutuals for very long??? maybe half a year??? but you always send me pics of daddy kris that make me cry and you gotta stop this!!! ok not really it’s a lot!! you’re a nasty and as your mom i guess it’s partly my fault :// you’re a kind soul and i hope that 2018 will treat you good because you deserve it!

💝@oshzt honey :(( <3 ily a whole lot and i’t been some time since we talked but i still treasure you so so much and i’m still gonna take you to gotland to watch the sunrise from the boat and we can chill by the beach and listen to the best summer playlist ever! you’re a amazing soft person and i hope the rest of 2017 was good to you and the start of 2018 is even better <3 can’t wait to talk to you more in 2k18 and yell in caps!

💝@glitzyeol darling shit i really do suck at holding conversations but won’t stop me from loving you! i hope you’ve been doing good the last part of the year and that you’ve been able to have fun and smile <3 you’re really nice and fun to talk to :(( i’ll try be better at talking to you in 2018! you’re sunshine personified and i always smile when i see you on my dash, take care darling!

💝@suho69 honestly we haven’t talked that much but you talked about space with me and i instantly hooked on and like :// your url?? perfect. you have a lil special spot in my heart and i hope 2018 will be good to you and that you take care of yourself!

💝@sehunsbff i feel like our mutualship is me annoying you in the reply under text posts??? we don’t talk all that much but i always smile when seeing you on my dash and you tipped me that kmodboard thing??? it was real nice you thought my work was good :(( and you’re a real sweet person and maybe i can be better at talking in 2018, either way take care and i hope the new year will treat you good <3

💝@04gf bby i love u so much i hope you’re doing good!! <3 god i haven’t talked with you for ages??? i’m so sorry abt that but i guess we’ve both been bussy but i hope you’re taking care of yourself and school is nice!<3 god you’re such a beautiful gal on the inside and out you light up my lil heart! take care and i’ll try do better talking to you in 2018 and i hope the new year will be good on you!

💝@xiuminscheeks we haven’t had that much of a conversation but you’re so sweet and caring it really warms my heart and i smile whenever i see you pop up on my dash!<3 thank you for being such a sweet person and i really hope 2018 will tread you well! take care!

💝@xiukitty how are you doing darling? i hope the last months have been good and you’ve had time to smile and have fun! <3 i hope you get time to rest and relax. you’re such a sweetheart and i’m so glad to have met you and been able to talk to you wow! thank you for being so nice and amazing you deserve the best 2018, take care sweetie!

💝@bright-black-blunder my sweet child, it’s been ages? i hope you’re doing good and having a good time! i hope that the last few months have been easy on you and that you’ve taken care of yourself! you’re really sweet, like wow such a pure soul ily :(( please take care in 2018 i miss talking to you and i’ll try to be better with that in the new year, stay hydrated and remember to have fun!

💝@suhosbulge i went back to look at our messages and the last thing was literally talking about keeping nut in a jar and nut diet and idk if i should laguh or cry. you’re fun and such a nice person i really hope to talk about nut more in 2018 with you wow. i hope you get to swallow some nut and take care :(( ily!

💝@trumpsluckylady hey i really hope you’re doing good! we haven’t talked in a while but i still care loads about you and you’re so much fun to talk to sorry i suck at holding conversations omg!! :(( you’re a darling and wow such a nice and neat person :( <3 i really hope you’ll do good in 2018 and that the new year will be good!

💝@niniandnoodul my dude :(( ily sweetie i hope you’re doing well! you’re such a cutie and you are really lovely :( we haven’t talked all that much but omg i feel like we have talked forever and i always light up when i see you on my dash and i hope 2017 has been good for you and that 2018 will be even better. take care sweetie ily!

💝@localgaylad we haven’t been mutuals for all that long but i remember i got a ask from a anon saying they shipped us and i had to check you out aiusgdus i hope you’re doing well and having a good end of the year! you’re neat to talk to and really nice! thank you for lighting up my dash sweetie, take care in 2018!

💝@suhosbread bro...where do i even begin? i wrote some no homo to you on christmas but shit i really appreciate you a lot and it feels like we’ve talked for forever even if it only was about a year ago? amazing isn’t it... you’re such a soft sweet boy and wow i’m lucky to have you as my bro :(( <3 2017 has been rough but let’s make 2018 good and let’s continue complain together and can’t wait to see what work you have for 2018 and to watch you have fun :(( a lil homo but ily a whole lot, thank you for being such a wonderful person like really :((

💝@jinsflower girl, first of all i miss you but i hope you’re having some sweet ass time in korea now! it looks so amazing and god i wish i was there with y’all! you’re like such a sweetheart for real, you’re such a libra and wow :(( thank you for being such an amazing friend and let’s have so much fun in 2018 when we graduate and all! <333

💝@exogege we talked a lot in the beginning of the year and i hope the rest of the year has been good to you and you’ve had fun! you’re a whole load of nice things and i really hope 2k18 will be good to you and you can have loads of fun and do what you want to do, take care sweetie!<3

💝@chanhee

we haven’t talked in forever i’m a bad person i’m sorry :(( you’re really fun and you’re so sweet but i suck. i hope it’s been good though, and that 2018 will be good to you! and i can’t believe the last thing we talked about was how damn short i was wow, iconic?? 

                                           💗 123 - e 💗

 💞 @7deer-ofthe-dawn7💞 @baekshitbyun💞 @baekstockings💞 @bebebyun💞 @bunnyleader💞 @baekiexing💞 @bitchasschanyeol💞 @buzzcutsoo💞 @citruscake💞 @chogihuns💞 @cyberksoo💞 @chanyevol💞 @chonyeol💞 @chilyeol💞 @cuntykai💞  @daesaurus💞 @exoblesso💞 @exordiam💞 @exoistheuniverse💞

                                             💗 j - z 💗

💞@juhyeol💞 @joonmeow-ing💞@junmyeon-please💞 @junmyonenie💞 @kardsine💞@kaihunnies💞@kimjonginsmom💞@littlephoton💞 @luflute💞 @mochibobohu💞 @my1ady 💞 @sakura-gucci-panda💞 @suhocentric💞 @shinelike-hobi💞 @suh01💞 @shimmie-shimmie-kokobop💞 @taem-jinki  💞 @taegnsic💞 @wheatleyoppa💞 @xiaoluxury💞 @xingmi4life💞 @yeogibuteora💞 @yifangalaxies💞 @yeolsofly💞 @yowlie💞 @zyex💞 

[stormcrow-whispers]

Letter to Ronan #1

Originally when she’d splintered off from the group to say goodbye to Ronan, Kallista had expected to be greeted by his scowl and some sort of snide remark when she came to his door. However, as she stood in his empty apartment, scone in hand, bags packed with all her things, she was greeted instead by a pang of sadness and loneliness. He’d probably gone off to work, forgetting she’d asked to see him again before she left town. Figures.

With a sad sigh she sat down at a his kitchen table, resolving to write him a note to let him know where she’d gone. She doubted the group would be willing to wait around for her to find him, they were all so anxious to leave. And as much as it pained her to think, the chances of finding him before they left, even with her almost encyclopedic knowledge of the city’s layout, were slim to none. Kallista dug into her bag and pulled a couple of blank sheets of paper out of one of her sketchbooks and a pen. Before writing her message, she cast illusory script on the page. While the majority of her message was personal in nature and really wasn’t worth hiding, she still cast the spell out of habit. One could never be too careful, and she certainly didn’t need anyone but Ronan reading what was sure to be an emotionally charged letter. Once the spell was cast and she’d designated him as the recipient, she began to write in Infernal, in very flowery script.

Dear Dad,

I came over to say goodbye, but I GUESS that isn’t going to happen. Why are you still such an early bird? I told you I wanted to see you again before the group and I left town, but you just had to up and go to work early like the workaholic you are, sheesh. Some things never change I guess. But anyway.

 The group made up in record time, I’m honestly surprised it went as well as it did. These people tend to hold grudges for days, sometimes weeks at a time, so the fact that things went so well, especially after the huge blow up we had, is incredible. Personally, I didn’t really do anything other than object to being tied to this religious bullshit, but I agreed to play nice to appease them. They were all staring at me like I was at fault for something other than standing around and watching their daily drama unfold, it was ridiculous. 

You were right by the way. I learned a few things during the little group heart to heart that are pretty...interesting. I’ve filed them away for you in the usual spot. If you could pass it along for me that would be great. Sorry in advance. I hope he doesn’t sit backwards in his chair again for your sanity’s sake.

Oh. Also. Idris came by this morning to talk to Eilerris about her quest. Now I doubly want you to burn my place down. Well, not really, but you know what I mean. It went fine all things considered, they didn’t stay for very long, but I am certainly not comfortable with the whole situation at all, and I certainly wasn’t asked if it was okay to use my home as a meeting space. But of course, the way things have been going while we’ve been in town, no one seems to care if I feel comfortable doing things or not. They just assume, just like they assumed my place is up for grabs since I just so happened to let them crash with me to save them money. Bloody nobles.

 I grabbed most of my more important drawings off the shelves and have taken them with me, as well as some of my other jewelry. If you could just grab the rest of my trinkets and clothes and put them in my room here for now that would be great. The rest you can trash or do what you will with it. I can always buy more gear to restock my spare room when I get back. Unless you and Lawrence are into some kinky shit, in which case have at it! I’m kidding. Or AM I? Ok seriously, I’m kidding, please don’t disown me. If you don’t mind too much, I’d love to take you up on that offer to crash with you for a while when I get back. Although you do have good taste, so if you find a new place you think I’d like then I guess you can just move all my shit over there instead.

Please write to me, old man. I know I irritate the hell out of you, but I’d really love to hear from you. I know it sounds sappy, but you’re all I’ve got, and I missed being around you a lot more than I’d originally anticipated. It didn’t really hit me just how much until you hugged me in the market the other day. It was so so nice to see you again so soon and to be able to fall into our usual routine, although I wish it could’ve been for longer. You’ve been a constant fixture in my life for almost 20 years now, and being with these strangers and away from home and from you has been...odd. I’m anxious for this all to be over and for things to go back to the way they were. I miss gossiping over bottles of wine and working together. I even miss this shitty city, but that might just be because you’re here to be honest.

Please stay safe, or as safe as you can be. Losing you would be...I’m not sure I could take that. And in turn I swear I’ll do my best to stay out of harm’s way as well. Last time I tried to play hero, it didn’t turn out so well for me, and as much as these scars are starting to grow on me, I value my life more than this business.

 If we end up coming back to town, you’ll be the first to know. Whether it’s by letter or me showing up out of the blue and trying to punch you in the face again (sorry about that, I couldn’t resist trying to get the jump on you, the thought I might be able to beat you for once was too tempting). Sorry I didn’t give you more warning about our visit. Figured we’d get here way before the letter made it anyway. You know how unreliable the post can be. If you know a better way to keep in touch, please let me know. This letter writing thing isn’t something I’m used to and it seems a very clumsy business. We’re traveling with a caravan towards Ormskirk, but we’re going to be making pit stops in Malay and Tupelo along the way, if that helps at all as far as sending things goes.

 ...Seriously though. Please write to me. I know I’m going to sound paranoid, but leaving like this, leaving without saying goodbye in person, showing up to an empty house...it doesn’t sit well with me. It makes me nervous, makes me assume the worst. I know it’s silly, especially since you’re more than capable of taking care of yourself. But you know I have plenty good reason to feel this way, even when it comes to a cranky old asshole like you. I mean, I’m sure you’re going to throw a huge party once I’m gone and out of your hair, but please don’t forget about me.

 I wish I could have said this all in person and could’ve given you a hug, but here we are. Guess it’s good I gave you one yesterday, huh?

 I love you dad. Don’t have too much fun without me, alright? And start mentally preparing yourself for a future wine and vent session, because knowing this group, I’m going to have stories for days.

 Lots of love,

 Kallista

 She drew a big heart next to her name with a bit of a flourish, then placed the scone down next to the letter on a plate. As promised, she stashed away the new information she’d learned in the hidden lockbox in her old room. She lingered for a few moments, taking one final look at her room, at his home, at the place she’d grown up, a sad smile crossing her face, before she left, locking the door tightly behind her.

 As they began their departure from the city, Kallista looked around, hoping to spot him in the crowd like she had the week before, hoping he was watching from some rooftop or alleyway out of sight from the masses. When she failed to find him, she sighed sadly and clutched at her bandana, following the group somewhat sullenly. Although her face was drawn in a mask of disinterest like usual, on the inside she was panicked, worried the day before had been the last time she’d ever see him. It scared the hell out of her. But she knew she had to do this, knew she had to finish this job, even if every fiber of her being was screaming at her to just stay, that this job wasn’t worth the mental distress.

She hoped he’d write back to her, and hoped that this whole mess would be over with soon.

[kellbellsparkles]

Worth Something Part 4

Last part! It’s a bit of a long one! Fasten your seat belts and hold on tight as you roller coaster on the klangst train!

Two quintants. That was the estimate Allura gave for Lance to make a full recovery at least physically. Everyone unanimously transferred their sleeping gear into the infirmary beside the healing pod where he slept and made a nest: a soft, cushiony nest that would catch him day or night when the estimated time was reached. Everyone took turns keeping watch over Lance at night in three varga intervals. Keith, though, even when it wasn't his turn, he kept one eye open looking up at Lance.

Ever since Lance crumbled before him, Keith felt drawn to him. He remembered and realized how confident he felt as he held his rifle, as he wore his face mask, as he flexed his muscles and combed his fingers back through his bangs. His heart fluttered when he remembered the pure cheer in Lance's laughter, sweet and innocent like a child. How could someone so beautiful not see it himself? How could someone so beautiful descend into the empty void with little hope of return? He clenched his sheets as he felt a fire stir within him he never considered so strongly before.

I'll protect him, he thought. I won't let anyone hurt him ever again, not even himself.

When it was Keith's turn, he never took his eyes off Lance. He watched him as if he were his newborn kitten. He watched for any signs of abnormal breathing, any changes in his vital readings. He glazed his right hand over the glass protectively. He remembered one night back on Earth when he had a nightmare, Shiro held him close and stroked his head, rocking him back and forth and continuing to hold him. He wished he could hold Lance, but he hoped that this gesture would ward off any bad spells that threatened to haunt him.  

Whoosh.

A third through his shift, the healing pod slid open. Instinctively, Keith leaped to his feet and held his arms out to catch Lance, falling forward freely.

“Lance!” he cried joyfully.

Lance laid limply in his arms, barely managing a moan.

“Guys!” Keith shouted. “Wake up! He's out!”

Paralleling the attack alarm going off, everyone scrambled out of their sheets and onto their feet. They swiftly huddled around Lance.

“Lance!” Hunk cheered. “Buddy!” He held up two fingers with his right hand once more. “How many fingers am I holding up?”

Lance looked up at Hunk; his eyes were red and puffy. Hunk lowered his hand, frowning.

“Maybe we can try later?” he offered.

Keith cupped Lance's left cheek with his right hand.

“Lance,” he said softly. “Do you remember anything?”

“Not really,” Lance said groggily. “But I remember you being there…. and crying. Why were you crying over me of all people?”

Keith held him tighter, choking in a sob. He wasn't going to let him forget their bonding moment again, not after everything Lance told him.

“Maybe food will help you remember,” he said. “Can you walk?”

Lance pushed himself off Keith, regrettably too hard. He began to fall backwards into the healing pod. Keith swooped down and caught him by the back and waist. He bit his lip, cursing at himself. It was too cruel to make him walk after his ordeal and two quintants in the healing pod. Carefully, he reached his right arm under Lance's legs and lifted him up, firmly cradling him.

“Keith,” Lance grunted. “What are you--”

“Shhh.”

“Everyone's watching,” Lance whined, flailing in protest. “They're going to think we're--”

“Shhhh,” Keith whispered firmly.

Lance blushed madly. He couldn't understand why Keith was doing this, why it didn't matter to him that two men were having an intimate bonding moment with a live audience spectating. Suddenly, he felt Keith's lips brush against his forehead. Time came to an abrupt halt; blaring alarms were ringing in his head.

This has to be a dream, Lance thought as he stared blankly in shock. Keith would never do this. He had to have been for the loner golden boy of the Garrison to act so out of character, and he wasn't the only one. In the dining hall, Hunk fed him pink food goop like a baby, acting silly and pretending the spoon was a train or an airplane. Pidge showered him with speeches of how he was like a second brother to him and would name her first born after him and hoped he'd grow up to be exactly like him. Allura praised him in a motherly tone for recovering and keeping the food down. She also revealed to him the qualities of the blue paladin: kind, generous, accepting, selfless, every quality of a hero and a best friend. Coran and the castle mice put on a skit of the time when all the original paladins except blue were captured by rogue Altean scientists and the existence of Voltron was in jeopardy, but with great skill and wits, the blue paladin freed them and they were able to form Voltron and stopped a device that would have stimulated a supernova threatening to eclipse an entire solar system. Throughout the onslaught of praise, Keith had Lance in his lap, arms slung around his waist.

Lance wondered if he had entered an alternate reality that Slav had mentioned the possibility of existing. The Keith he knew would never initiate physical contact with another person unless it was with Shiro. If that were the case, he thought if hitting his head again would send him back to his reality. If it weren't….

Lance sat limply, unmoving, tense as a wooden plank. His head pounded as he made attempts to remember how he got into this situation in the first place. After the last bite of his meal, he felt Keith lift him up again. Then, he felt several hands ruffle his head softly. He finally moved his eyes and saw everyone smiling at him warmly and lovingly. Suddenly, he was whisked around and they shrank in view. Lance's eyes widened, panicking and crying for help on the inside, begging for someone to explain to him what was happening. Keith swayed him up slightly, triggering a gasp.

“Shh,” Keith whispered tenderly. He swayed him down next, repeating the rhythmic motion as he walked. Lance's face flushed blood red.

This isn't happening, he trembled. This cannot be happening.

At last, they reached Lance's bedroom. Keith laid him down gently on his bed and tucked him in, evening the sheets on the top.

“There we go,” he cooed. “How are you feeling now?”

Lance stared at the ceiling, eyes and lips frozen.

“I understand,” Keith said. “No doubt you have a lot of questions. We're still catching our breaths ourselves. Would you like me to get you anything? Some water? An extra pillow?”

“Why?” Lance croaked.

“Hm?”

“Why is--” Lance clenched his sheets tightly. “Why are you all being so nice?”

“Because we're your friends,” Keith answered strongly.

“You guys were never THIS nice,” Lance said shakily. “It's scaring me.”

“You disappearing on us scared us. It scared me more than when I had my back against the wall against Zarkon. We already lost Shiro; we can't lose you, too.” Keith knelt onto the floor, both hands reaching for Lance's right. “I can't lose you, too.”

Lance turned his head to face Keith. He had his head buried in his arms. His thumbs were stroking Lance's knuckles. He had always believed Keith's touch was rough and rock hard from all his time spent in the training deck and out in the desert. He noticed something else as well: it was ungloved.

“Keith?” he spoke. “Have you been stealing my moisturizer?”

“No, you idiot,” Keith grunted, tightening his grip on Lance's hand. “You unbelievable idiot.”

“I know,” Lance chuckled. “I'm an idiot. Let's not forget annoying, obnoxious, cargo pilot. That one's a classic.”

“Please,” Keith whined. “Please try to remember. I hate repeating myself, but I will as many times as it takes.”

“You're not gonna cry again, are you?”

Instead of a grumbled response he expected, he heard faith sobs from his self-established rival. Lance bit his lip; if there was one thing he hated more than himself, it was making people cry. In that instant, he had an abrupt vision of being pressed against Keith's chest; a slur of words passed over his ears.

Brave, intelligent, kind, creative. You're good enough.

“You--” he gasped. He gazed at Keith with eyes wide in shock. “You care about me?”

“Of course I do!” Keith sobbed. “You're so important to me and this team! I can't believe you would have no idea!”

“Hey,” Lance said soothingly. “That's not your fault.”

“How can it not be our fault?? How long have we been out here and how long have you been feeling this way?? How many times have we ridiculed you??”

“It's nothing new. Really. I've had those feelings even before joining the Garrison.”

Keith lifted his head, locking his eyes with Lance's, eyes filled deeply with remorse and distress.

“When you go day by day having the superpower of being invisible,” Lance said. “You realize it's not as awesome as those superhero shows make it out to be. There's always someone better, more talented, has that shine that draws people in and never letting them go. When we were in the Garrison, you were at the top of everything: all the teachers gave you the thumbs-up and pat on the shoulder, all the girls wanted to date you, our classmates talked nonstop about how cool you were, and most of all, you could approach Shiro and even talk to him. He always said that we can do anything we set our mind to and extend our potential. In my room, I had a poster of him. I'd look at it every night before bed hoping that tomorrow would be the day I broke out of my cycle of doom, but that day never came. He never looked at me the same way he looked at you. He chose you to be the next in line without a second thought. Then it would be Pidge, Hunk, Allura, then Coran, leaving me as the seventh wheel. Maybe not even that. There's always someone else: someone better, more--”

A cold touch halted his speech. He blinked and realized that Keith had crawled up on top of him. Their foreheads locked, the tip of their noses touching as well.

“Ah!” Lance gasped. “Sorry. My mom always said I talk too much. I should stop--”

Without warning, Keith mashed his lips against Lance's. He pressed deep, rubbing and sucking every angle. Lance let out a muffled yelp. His vision blurred, his world twisting and spinning in every direction. His body writhed, sending mixed messages of pushing him off and allowing for the contact that he craved for so long. Keith quickly pulled away upon realizing his actions. He brought his fingers to his mouth and looked away.

“That's how much I care,” he whimpered. “If you don't feel the same way, that's fine. Just know…. Just know that I'll always be here for you.” He sat up and turned to leave the bed. Without thinking, Lance grabs his shirt by the waist.

“Wait!!” he hollered, panting, still catching his breath from the kiss.

Keith flinched; he looked back down at Lance.

“Wh-What is it?” he asked, startled.

“You can't just spring that on me and just leave!” Lance snapped. “And how dare you assume I don't feel the same way??”

They both gasped and stared at each other gapingly. Lance clasped his hands over his mouth.

“Son of a Kaltenecker!!” he squeaked. “Was that out loud??”

Keith nodded, his face flushing as red as his jacket. Lance grabbed Keith's hands and brought them to his throat.

“Kill me now,” he pleaded.

“What??” Keith shouted in confusion and panic. “I'm not gonna do that!!”

“You have to,” Lance said in a quivering voice. “For the sake of your honor. I'm the worst possible orientation for someone to be.”

“What are you talking about?? Let go!!”

“I like both men and women, okay??”

Keith broke his hands free from Lance's death grip. Lance covered his eyes in shame.

“I like them both,” he sobbed. “I'm a whore.”

Keith took a deep breath to compose himself. He lowered his arms and shoulders and exhaled greatly. He remembered the way Shiro calmly brought him back from the brink of despair. Steadily, he brought his hands and cupped both sides of Lance's head.

“Lance,” he said gently. “That's not true. There are lots of people like that, even in this whole universe I bet. Each and every one of them have the potential of being great people and finding a partner to spend their time with.”

Lance uncovered his teary eyes, finger by finger.

“Y-You don't think I'd sleep around?” Lance hiccuped.

“Of course not,” Keith said. “It all makes sense now: all those times you flirted with everything feminine you could find. It's going to be okay, Lance. The others will understand, too.”

“I hope so,” Lance said. “But most of all, I want my family to understand, but I know that won't be possible. It has to be black and white with them; it's one thing to like one or the other, but we can't like both. I sat through all those family dinners with my mouth shut, terrified that if I told them the truth, I'd be sent packing. I'd have nothing and nowhere to go; I might as well die and be done with it all.”

The sorrowful lump in Keith's throat grew astronomically. He brought his hands to Lance's back and sat him up, holding him close as he did before. He stroked the top of his head slowly and tenderly, wanting nothing more than to cure the poor boy of his unfathomable pain.

“I never thought--” he choked. “That anyone with a family could feel that way.”

Lance lowered his hands from his face.

“W-What do you mean?” he asked, trembling still.

“I've been alone all my life,” Keith replied. “Never had someone to call a mother or a father. All the families I've seen go by looked so happy.”

“Oh,” Lance whispered sadly. All this time, he had no idea, and all he did was challenge and make fun of him. “I'm sorry.”

“No, no, Lance. It's okay. As long as I had my Galra knife, deep down, I felt that someone, somewhere, was looking out for me. Everything I learned out on my own helped me survive, meet Shiro, all of you, and is helping us through this war. This war has made me realize that I have a home and family here; I've finally found what I was looking for.”

“Does that mean you don't want to go back to Earth?”

Keith pondered. He had nothing waiting for him on Earth, but that didn't mean he didn't appreciate the nature and opportunities that were there.

“Well,” he said. “It wouldn't be a bad thing, but you really want to go back, don't you?”

“I do,” Lance said. He pressed his left cheek to Keith's chest. “But now that I think about it, I'm not sure where to start if we ever go back.”

“My shack should still be there,” Keith claimed. “You could move in with me.”

Lance froze in place, Keith's beating heart the only thing keeping him grounded.

“Keith,” he said, greatly flustered. “A-Are you sure?”

“Yes,” Keith said, leaning and burrowing into Lance's hair. “There's a shower there and I can teach you how to hunt. There's a nearby city we can scrounge for fruits, beans, and other goods.”

“So you've stolen before?”

“When you've been alone for as long as I have, you'll do anything to make it in the world. If it ever and continues to make you feel uncomfortable, you can leave the dirty business to me, okay?”

“Have you--” Lance gulped. “Had to kill anyone?”

“Thankfully, no.”

“That's good.”

“But know that I wouldn't hesitate if my life were in danger.”

Keith gripped the back of Lance's jacket tightly.

“Especially yours,” he said strongly. “I would cut down anyone and anything that would come to threaten you.” He planted a kiss on Lance's forehead. “Just leave the dirty business to me.”

Lance cried again, but not from sadness. At long last, his rival, the golden boy of the Garrison, the best fighter of the five paladins, accepted him and loved him as the shell he held together for so long broke open, pouring out his worst fears and washing them away.

“Would you let me do the same for you?” he asked.

Keith held Lance's face again and brought their foreheads together.

“I would do everything in my power to make sure that never needs to happen,” he declared.

Lance let out a giggle, a giggle that brought out the biggest and most genuine smile he's ever seen from Keith.

He's smiling, Keith cheered to himself. Finally.

“Okay,” Lance said, giggling still. “Because I don't want to lose you either. It gets cold in here without fire.”

“Are you cold right now?” Keith asked, smirking.

“Maybe a little bit.”

“Let me warm you up then.”

There they were again, lip locked again, but much more relaxed, their bodies melting into each other. Lance laid back, pulling Keith down with him, arms grasping his back. Keith slid his thumbs underneath Lance's eyes to wipe away the remaining tears.

Is this what you meant, Shiro? Keith asked internally. When you find that special someone? Well, you were right. I did eventually find that someone, and I'm never letting him go.

[sea-wolf-coast-to-coast]

The Mask Fragment

POV: Sylbfohc Ostulmsyn

Location: Maelstrom Command, Mist

Creepy music vibes: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nrHiHD8Fl8Q

In response to: 1 | 2 | 3

I shut the door to my office and reached for my keys, the brassy pieces cool to the touch as my fingers fumbled briefly through them. It took a moment to find the correct one, but as the lock clicked into place a familiar feeling tickled up the back of my neck, like a brush of fingertips too soft. I was being watched…

Dark eyes stared up at me from the floor below, all beady and bright. I stared back through the corner of mine, my lips pressing into a thin line. Neither of us moved for a moment, both caught in the other’s full attention. “It’s you that’s been nicking my biscuits,” I whispered accusingly, at last, a trickle of frustration dropping into my empty belly. Someone had been stealing them from my cabinet, someone with no need for a key… The carbuncle’s head tilted curiously, apparently unwilling to confess. Naturally. I returned the keys to my belt and prepared to face the creature more fully. Perhaps I could fool it into thinking I only meant to scratch behind its ears… they liked that sort of thing, right? My eyes narrowed faintly and I smoothed a friendly smile over my lips, reaching out ever so slowly…

A musical chatter split through the air as the carbuncle shook its tail at me, its ears flattening as its eyes shone with a furious warning. Surprise lashed across the guard of my frustration, and I snapped my hand back with an expletive, darting after the dammed thing as it ran off.

Through corridors long and short, I ran, narrowly missing a bodily collision with Sergeant Madain. Papers scattered through the air, but her choice words were lost amid the sounds of charging boots, my attention focused solely on the smug flicker of a glittering tail just ahead.

I rounded a final corner and nearly tripped on my own feet as I skid to a halt. The tiny beast sat facing a door, it’s clever eyes beholding me with the same detached curiosity it had at the door to my office. “You little shite,” I rumbled breathlessly, and took half a step nearer. This time, the creature hissed insistently, turned in circles for a moment, paused to look between myself and the door, then vanished with a nebulous pop.

“Dammit,” I murmured, my gaze darting to each dark corner of the corridor. Though the creature itself had disappeared, its gaze lingered unseen, filling the air with a muted electricity. Exasperation huffed from my lips and I stood tall, smoothing a hand down the front of my uniform. “I know you’re still here,” I said evenly.

<< Yes… I am still here… >>

A chill oozed slowly down the back of my neck, prickling against my skin like the quickened crawl of insect feet. As the voice filled my mind, I felt the color drain from my cheeks, and my eyes grew wide. Dread thrummed through the air, throwing a sheet of gooseflesh over my skin, and awareness of where I was dawned on me. The West Wing. Shite.

<< … As so shall your wife be – for many long years after you die. >> It whispered.

“What,” I mouthed the word but no sound came. My eyes fell upon the door.

<< … You could not help yourself. The way that you love her – it is a rare thing, indeed… It is only natural that you should claim her, after all these years… even if your life is short, and hers long, long, long… A Roegadyn and an Elezen… >>

“I…” I stammered, gasping for relief but finding only a heaviness that weighed the air like oil. Dryness bloomed across my tongue and I swallowed hard. “You cannot tempt me,” I whispered defiantly to the knowing dark. “I’ll not release you. No matter what ill wish ye claim you can grant…”

<< You fear for her – all alone… >> It continued, ignoring my flare of resolve. << … Without you, she will fall apart. Crumble into sorrow, and then madness. Who will hold her in the darkness of night? >> The voice purred sympathetically, urging me nearer as if offering a comforting embrace. << Who will soothe her? Remind her that all is well? That she has nothing to fear? >>

Its voice filled my thoughts to the brim where they swelled higher and higher until they spilled over, pouring into my motor functions. And, where boots should have turned away, they moved forward. Slowly, I reached for the door’s handle, my pulse thrumming through my fingertips, pounding in my ears.

<< You will die, and she will live on for decades more… without you… But it does not have to be so… >>

My heart squeezed in my chest, forcing a thin breath over my lips as my mind filled with the images of what I feared most. Of loss. Of death. My death. Though not for my own sake – but for hers.

<< … I can extend your years… >> It continued, as if unfurling an invisible hand through the door, a gift set into its palm…  << I can slow your aging to match hers… >> A chill met my skin as I turned the door’s handle. I didn’t even remember having entered the security code. << She will never be alone. And you… You will have a family… >>

I gasped, half expecting to see my breath as I entered the frigid room. But the air returned empty, no formless cloud to be seen, and I realized that perhaps it was a chill of another kind settling in my bones. An ailment of the mind, of aetheric manipulation. It would be foolish to listen. Silly to believe! And yet… I could not turn away.

<< … a father of not just one, but of three… >> it whispered, drawing my eyes to the many shelves. << … With me, you will live to see your children grow. To marry. To have children of their own… >> I blinked through a haze in my eyes, my brow furrowing as they fell upon the small chest. << … All of the years wasted between you and she, a waste no more… >>  I reached out… << Your age… no longer important… For I can give you what you both desire most… I can ensure family… >>

"'Mander!?” Another voice cut through the room, this one very real. I started, whipping my head toward the entrance to see the small figure of Captain Mirke darkening its frame. Fog had filled my mind, slowing my thoughts. At first I could hardly comprehend her words, so I stared. It wasn’t until she whipped the musket from her belt and raised it steadily toward my chest that I understood.

"Pull yer swivin 'ands from the box! Twelve-damnit, 'mander, slow-like!" She demanded.

I looked down at my hands. The wedding band on my finger glinted in the low light of the room, the hand it was attached to outstretched before an open chest… hovering inches from the broken fragment of a staring mask. Shock crept slowly up my arm, tingling in my veins until it reached my head, and I was horrified. With a deep, uneven breath, I withdrew my hand.

Mirke kept her musket steady, "now close it, Sylbfohc, ain't fer our eyes.”

I obeyed, trusting her words more than my thoughts, the shock of my mind’s betrayal pounding through my veins. The small chest clicked innocently as I closed the lid. Mirke rushed forward then, keeping her musket held at the ready. She grabbed her handcuffs and threw them around the chest, fumbling one handed for a moment while she locked them into place. None would open it again.

Certainly, not I.

I made no objections as she marched me out, my face surely reflecting the blank horror of what I’d nearly done. When we reached the end of the hall, she returned her musket to its holster and saw me all the way out of Command.

Neither of us spoke a word.

@diskwrite-ffxiv @mirkemenagerie @sarahmadain @fireattunement @bountyhunterstone @vhellius @maelstrom-command @tiergan-vashir

[spicycreativity]

Soft-Shoe Shuffle - Ch 4

Chapter: 4/12

Additional Notes: See Ch 1 for more information. Read on AO3 under "WizardGlick." Any formatting/italics errors are holdovers from AO3 that I was too lazy to fix.

Chapter Content Warnings:

Excerpt:

Remus smacked the back of Janus’ head with his open palm. “You sneaky little shit."

“Maybe now you’ll think twice about your letter-writing habits.”

Remus fixed Janus with his glassy-eyed gaze and gave a slow, wicked smile. “Was it not up to your ssssssssstandards,” he asked, “you good old-fashioned lover boy?”

A palm-sized origami frog perched on Janus' door at about eye level, with a small envelope in its mouth. Remus' work.

You know that talk is cheap

And those rumors ain't nice

And when I fall asleep

I don't think I'll survive the night

Janus peeled the frog off the door and examined the envelope as he walked to his desk.

He handled it gingerly, but it didn't explode or burst into flames or (God forbid) start singing. It was only an envelope with a single sheet of paper inside, on which Remus had written… his version of a love poem:

Dear Patton-oster,

How fiercely dost thou squeeze my pulsing heart!

Thy fist that veiny organ grips too strong.

Let my blood coat thy most clandestine parts:

By which, of course, I mean your dick-- come on.

My heart thy dick with equal firmness hold,

And stroke thyself as I too stroke for thee:

Yes, nightly! nightly! many nights untold,

I marry the bed, wishing it were thee.

I do admit thy puns exasperate,

Still, I picture you when I masturbate.

Signed,

Your Secret Admirer

Face aflame, Janus carefully folded the letter, placed it back in the envelope, inserted the envelope in the frog's mouth, gently placed the frog in his wastebasket, and set the whole thing on fire.

He had work to do, work that didn't involve Remus' influence.

Exerting his own influence over Thomas' thoughts was a mere matter of re-prioritizing. It was easier now that Patton wasn't outright working against him, although their functions were still nearly incompatible.

Janus stared at the empty expanse of the desk before him, shiny lacquered ebony, and braced his elbows on it. It helped to move his hands as he worked. On a good day, he would use all six. Today, he only used two, and weaved suggestions. He bound them up with logic (or what seemed like logic) and tied them to anxieties.

The fire in his wastebasket went out on its own, but not before leaving scorch marks on the side of his desk and filling the room with a smell of smoke that brought Janus' headache back with a vengeance and made his eyes water and his throat sting.

He spared a thought to summon two more aspirin and a glass of water (no, Blue Cherry Gatorade).

He got the hard work out of the way first before moving on to innocuous white lies. These came attached to morality. Janus focused on his work rather than letting his mind wander to thoughts of Patton's smile, the way his laugh made Janus feel like he'd just stepped into a sunbeam.

Hours must have passed, but he scarcely noticed, caught up in the gentle flow of his work.

"Janus?" The sound of knocking on the door brought his train of thought to a screeching halt.

Janus dropped the threads he'd been holding and immediately started to cough upon snapping back to reality. What had he been thinking, setting a fire like that?

"You okay in there?" Patton asked, voice muffled through the door. "I think I can smell smoke!"

"It's nothing, Patton." Janus wiped his streaming eyes. The tears left dark marks on his gloves. "One moment." He walked, slowly, like everything was under control, to the door, vanishing all the smoke and fixing the side of his desk as he went.

He only cracked the door at first, in case this was some sort of elaborate trap to get him to socialize with the others, but it was only Patton who stood there. He was holding a sheet of computer paper, folded into a card.

Janus' gaze fell on it and he forgot social niceties, nearly igniting his wastebasket again in a fit of panic. Surely Remus hadn't--

"It's for you," Patton said, holding out the card.

"Oh." Janus took it and examined the crayon drawing of a rainbow on the front. " Please tell me this is a disturbingly well-thought-out love poem."

"What?" Patton's smile became strained, then faltered into a look of puzzlement.

For the second time that day, Janus was forced to hide his blush under a mask. "Never mind. It was a bad joke." He took the card from Patton. "I'll just open this." He proceeded to do so while Patton babbled something about leaving poetry to the 'prose.'

The card turned out to be an invitation to watch Planet Earth with Patton and Logan later that night. Endearingly, Patton had included a little notecard so Janus could RSVP.

Janus summoned a brass Monteverde Invincia in his right hand before realizing he had no surface to write on.

Patton evidently noticed him floundering and turned around, removing his cardigan as he went. "Here, use my back."

"Couldn't I just tell you?" Janus mumbled, though he knew the answer. By summoning a pen, he had demonstrated a willingness to play the game.

So he pressed the RSVP card to Patton's back and marked the box next to 'yes.'

The bare patch of skin where his sleeve cuff rode up brushed against the fabric of Patton's shirt, sending a white-hot thrill through Janus' chest.

For unrelated reasons, he dropped the pen. He sent it back to his desk before it hit the floor. "Done."

Patton turned around and snatched the card from Janus' hand before Janus even registered what was happening. For a split second, his face lit up. Then it fell back into a neutral, guarded expression. "Do you mean it?" When Janus nodded, he continued, "I kind of would have expected… y'know, the opposite."

"I wasn't trying to be considerate; I know how much you love it when you can't understand me."

"Oh! That is nice of you, Janus."

Janus waved a hand. "Well, we're all making changes." He carefully did not make a face after saying this. He'd known it was true, but it felt different to say it out loud; it made a sick shiver crawl down his spine. Then something else struck him. "Oh."

"What?"

"Remus is likely to drop in tonight." Patton tilted his head, and his eyes flicked between Janus and the direction of the curtain, so Janus elaborated, "No, I didn't invite him. Never mind the fact that there's no way I could have while standing here and talking to you, it is precisely the fact that he wasn't invited that makes me think he's going to come."

"Oh," said Patton. "Should I invite him? I don't want to be rude."

Janus' mind jumped to the ashes still smoldering in his wastebasket and said, "No." He lowered his voice and added, "But when he does show up, please do try to give him a warm welcome."

"Him?"

Janus only raised an eyebrow. "Unless you have some moral objection?"

Patton sighed. "Okay."

--

In the few hours before he was due to meet Logan and Patton in the living room, Janus finished up his work. Logan had pointedly straightened out a few of the logical fallacies Janus had woven, and Janus could practically see the red ink splashed across Logan's papers. He let a few of them go, tied the next few tighter, then sat back in his chair.

Whatever Virgil and Roman were doing in their rooms, they certainly weren't working very hard.

Janus passed by their doors on his way to the living room and perceived no signs of life from within, not that he cared. He had extended hands to both Virgil and Roman in the past; it wasn't Janus' fault they wanted to burn bridges. His conscience was clean on both accounts.

End of story.

He definitely wasn't wearing a bitter scowl when he arrived in the living room, and his first reaction upon seeing Patton absolutely was not a warm smile that he hurriedly had to divert into a smirk. That would be silly. Like the others, Patton was a pawn to be used when Janus needed, and tolerated when he didn't. And that absurd cat onesie he was wearing wasn't cute in the slightest.

"You're not wearing a onesie," Patton said, vaulting over the couch with none of a cat's grace. He landed heavily and planted his hands on his hips. "Didn't you read the dress code, bud?"

"'Bud'?" Janus repeated, making no effort to conceal his disgust at the over-familiarity. Just how far was he going to let Patton push him?

Patton faltered and blushed and Janus forgave everything in one fluttering heartbeat. "Sorry," Patton said. "You don't seem like a 'kiddo,' so I thought I could try a new nickname." A look of horror dawned on his face and he gasped and added, "Not that I don't like your name! I think 'Janus' is a lovely name but I call everyone else 'kiddo' so I thought-- But then--"

Janus failed entirely to hold back a rush of laughter. "It's fine. Really."

"So I can call you--"

"Janus. You can call me Janus."

"I'll find a nickname you like," Patton said with a decisive nod.

"Where's Logan, anyway? It's very like him to be late."

"Logan's in the kitchen," Patton waved a hand in that direction. "He's trying out a new method for popping all the popcorn kernels without actually burning the popcorn."

"Well, doesn't that sound fascinating."

Patton didn't appear to be listening. With his mouth twisted in thought, he looked Janus slowly up and down. "Hmm."

Janus swallowed. "Like what you see?"

Patton snapped and suddenly Janus was clad in warm fleece. "Now I do!"

"A parrot?" Janus said, looking down at what was evidently a scarlet macaw onesie.

"Okay, so, maybe I panicked," Patton said. "But I think it suits you, and I ain't fffflying." Janus squinted. Patton continued, apologetically, "Bird puns are harder than you'd think."

Janus adjusted his hat. He kept up the dignified silence just to watch Patton squirm, and not because he was trying to think of a better bird pun. "I suppose I can handle being a parrot for tonight," he said finally, giving up. Patton was right; bird puns were hard.

Just then, Logan emerged from the kitchen with three mismatched bowls balanced in his arms. "I tried using a wok to pop the kernels, and it actually worked quite well."

"Patton got you, too?" Janus asked, studying Logan's unicorn onesie with a critical eye.

Logan thinned his lips and colored slightly. "Well."

Janus made the realization a half second too late. "I suppose it logically follows," he said hurriedly, well-aware that he was making absolutely no sense.

"Oh?"

"I don't expect you'd be able to properly relax in jeans and a tie." Janus waved a hand and noticed a flash of yellow-- Patton had left his gloves on him. Which was to be expected. It wasn't like Janus made any effort to hide how important they were to him. So he didn’t feel all warm and fuzzy that Patton had noticed this and left them (and his hat) on.

Logan gave a short nod and indicated for Janus to take one of the bowls of popcorn.

Remus made his appearance near the beginning of episode two of Planet Earth. “Monkeys, hm?” he said, popping up behind the couch.

They all flinched, even Janus, who had been expecting this. He watched out of the corner of his eye as Patton shook himself and turned toward Remus with a pasted-on smile. “Remus!”

“That’s my name, don’t wear it out.”

Patton’s eyes flicked toward Janus, who gave him only the tiniest nod of encouragement in the hopes that Remus wouldn't notice anything amiss. “Uh, I was hoping you would drop by! It’s good to see you.”

“It is ?” Remus said, recoiling. “What’s gotten into you, Daddy Dominus?”

“Nothing! Just bein’ friendly.” Patton’s smile was fading by the second.

“Actually,” Logan said, “I was also hoping you would show up.” He scooted closer to Patton to make a space by the armrest. “You can sit next to me if you’d like.”

Remus glanced between Patton and Logan, his look of puzzlement rapidly morphing into disgust. “Why?”

Finally, he looked to Janus in desperate agitation, his eyes wide and expression utterly helpless. Janus allowed himself to laugh. It wasn’t often that he got one over on Remus, who was notoriously hard to ruffle.

"You!” Remus shouted.

“You should have ssseen your face!” Janus said in between breathless spasms of laughter.

Remus smacked the back of Janus’ head with his open palm. “You sneaky little shit."

“Maybe now you’ll think twice about your letter-writing habits.”

Remus fixed Janus with his glassy-eyed gaze and gave a slow, wicked smile. “Was it not up to your ssssssssstandards,” he asked, “you good old-fashioned lover boy?”

Janus bit his tongue. Now was not the time to engage Remus in an argument, playful though it was. “Why don’t you sit down by Logan and watch the monkeys? Now that you know he and Patton don’t want you here.”

“I don’t-- You asked--” Patton protested feebly.

Remus was examining his fingers like he was thinking about sticking them in Patton’s mouth when Logan interjected, “I was not in on any prank, Remus. You’re welcome to sit next to me.”

Remus ignored him. “This isn’t over, Shakespeare in the Dark.”

“Oh, I can’t wait to see what you do next.” Janus waved goodbye as Remus sank out with one final lewd gesture at Patton. Before Logan or Patton could ask any questions, Janus snatched the remote from Logan’s hand with one deft motion and hit play.

The rest of the episode became blurrier and less meaningful by the moment until the sight of the TV screen slipped away, then the sound, then everything.

Janus only became aware he’d fallen asleep when he half-woke in somebody’s arms.

“Don’t freak out,” Remus said, “it’s just me. Didn’t think you’d want to spend the night on the couch.”

Janus nodded against Remus' chest and closed his eyes again.

Aside

When the clock struck 3:00 am, Roman stuck his head out his bedroom door and looked around for any signs of life. He couldn't face the others, not yet. Seeing nothing, he walked barefoot to the kitchen. He stared at the carpet as he went, still keeping an ear out for any indication that the others were awake. But there was nothing, so he proceeded.

The kitchen was dark except for the light over the sink, which Patton always switched on at night. Roman sighed and braced his arms against the bar. He had hoped the change of scenery might make him feel better,, but it only increased the loneliness sitting heavy on his chest.

He jumped when Virgil’s voice came from the shadows. “Been missing out on beauty sleep? You look rough.”

Roman turned to find Virgil seated on the counter opposite the bar with his legs splayed out in front of him and his back pressed against the fridge. He breathed a sigh of relief through his nose. He could at least face Virgil. “You don’t look so good yourself.” It was true. Virgil's coal-black eyeshadow was smudgier than Roman had ever seen it, and the way it streaked down toward his jaw made it look as though Virgil had inadvertently smeared it with his fingers by repeatedly running his hands down his face. "Where have you been, anyway?"

Virgil's lip curled. "Let's just say I'm going through it right now and leave it at that."

"So am I, my preoccupied purple partner. So am I." Roman hopped up on the counter by Virgil's feet and nearly smacked his head on the cabinets. Virgil, to his credit, only laughed a little bit. "I actually haven't seen the others in… several days now."

"Did something happen?"

"Let's just say a certain sneaky snake Side slithered his way into a situation that didn't concern him."

Virgil sat up straight. "What did he do? Is everyone okay?"

"Oh, everyone's fine. He and Patton and Thomas are all best pals now, and… Well, I suppose royal red is going out of style."

"He turned Patton against you like that?" Virgil demanded. "How? Patton can be naive at times, but he's not dumb ."

Roman sighed and buried his face in his hands. "No, Virgil, I'm afraid that was all me. I don't even want to tell you what I did, but I'm going to stay in my room until… Well, I don't know. Until the nightmare ends, I suppose."

"Jeeze." Virgil gave a mirthless chuckle. "Well, now my thing doesn't seem so bad. I also haven't been out of my room in several days."

"I know, Sweet Emo-tion, I was starting to worry. What happened? Did Thomas start thinking about that time in 9th grade where he--"

"No!" Virgil said, a touch too loud. "Uh, no. I… I told him."

"...About that time in 9th grade where he--"

"I told him I used to be, you know, a 'Dark Side'."

"And he took it badly?" Roman asked. "Really? But he loves you."

"He just looked at me." Virgil swallowed hard, his eyes vacant. "And somehow his silence was so much worse than anything he could have actually said to me."

"Well." Roman let his head fall back against the bottom of the cabinets with a dull thud. "Aren't we the pretty pair? The disgraced prince and the not-so-reformed villain."

"Yeah."

For a moment, they were silent.

Then Roman said, in an uncertain tone. "Virgil?"

"Yeah?"

"I… I really never thought I'd say this, but. I'm glad you're here with me. I'm glad it's you ."

"Honestly? Same." Virgil bit his lip and fixed his gaze on his socks. "Do you... maybe want to hang in my room for a bit? We can have a sleepover. A really depressing, pathetic sleepover."

"I think I'd like that," Roman said. And for the first time in days, he smiled .