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#i would love to use them for the common good
sgtpeppers · 2 days
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Okay so the quick version of this is: saw Two Of Us today, adored it even more than I adore the film, the choice to keep them in John's building worked really well to further highlight the mental health message the director talks about in his little note in the programme, the rooftop scene is somehow even more intimate and lovely in this version and the ending is even more painful! I'm gonna write down more under the cut about it all:
Playlist: The playlist before the show/during the interval is everything you would want it to be and it includes Monkberry Moon Delight which I feel like I never hear in public! 
The overall experience was also just super wholesome, one thing I always love about Beatles events is the range of people there it just makes you feel like your part of such a special thing, so shout out to all the old women talking about Paul near me, the middle aged men in their Beatles shirts, and the girl behind me who was sooo excited to be there and I hope she got to meet the cast after like she wanted to! ALSO the Beatles drinks are so funny, idk why Ringo’s is just earl grey tea 😭
Performances: OKAY let’s get into it. So one of my only real complaints about the film is that although I think overall Jared Harris and Aiden Quinn do an amazing job but I do find the quality a little inconsistent (especially the accents) but Richard Short and Barry Sloane are soooo so good, the accents, the little verbal quirks (which also, kudos to the writer as well) and the physicalities are jarringly good at points, especially Barry Sloane’s John. I also feel like a lot of Get Back was watched in preparation because there were so many little things, like the way John plays with his hair that just took me right back to that. Sometimes with fictional Beatles things I’m constantly thinking about how you’re watching two people try to portray these real people, but I definitely found that they were convincing enough that I wasn’t thinking about it too much. 
Outfits: I did find it kinda weird they went for the Get Back looks rather than how they looked in 76, I feel robbed of the New York City vest tbh but they did look great 
Changes from the film: basically they cut out them going for the walk to the park and to Luigi’s and instead John sets up the table for them like they’re in a restaurant in his kitchen. I think it works really well because they play into John not wanting to leave the building, which just adds into that whole mental health thing, and I think it actually makes the rooftop scene more poignant when they get there, because it feels more like Paul has broken through a bit and coaxed him outside, even if it’s baby steps. Anyway, they still have all the same conversations really the script is just chopped up a bit. 
One interesting thing is that the conversation that happens with the fan in Luigi’s still happens, but John sort of pesters Paul about whether he really thinks silly love songs should be number one, and it’s a nice extra layer to Paul’s insecurity which I enjoyed 
Mental health conversations: I think going into it knowing that the director wanted to make this because of the mental health themes, specifically men’s mental health and how having someone to reach out to is so important, is really interesting. They definitely amped up John’s anxiety from the film, his fidgeting and little moments to himself where he’s trying to get himself together were just so palpable, and Paul talking about his depression after the Beatles broke up was even more raw and upsetting seeing it in front of you. My absolute favourite line in the film is ‘I’m thirty-five years old and I still feel like I’ve done something wrong’ and god, my heart just broke seeing it on stage, I think that’s such a common feeling, just that sense that you’re in trouble for something but you’re not really sure what? Anyway, I just loved Sloane’s delivery of it. 
The Kiss: Okay, look I actually don’t care that much about the kiss in the film, I’m glad it’s in there as a little nod to John’s queerness but it really isn’t anything imo, but I liked it a lot more in this! For one thing rather than coming after a little play fight (which is still cute, don’t get me wrong) they do one of their silly dances where they’re spinning each other round etc, so the scene already feels more tender, and then John just kinda grabs him and it goes on a little longer than in the film. I still think it’s far from one of the most intimate moments in the show, but I do think they made it into something more here. 
Rooftop scene: It’s just. It’s everything. They sit right at the front of the stage, facing each other, cross legged and Paul gives him the whole ‘I see a beautiful baby boy speech’ and it’s PERFECT, this was the moment I was most worried about them screwing up and it was perfectly delivered and they have this lovely big hug after it and it made my heart ache in the best way. And idk, if seeing some guy dressed up as Paul McCartney saying that we should focus on fun and get out our own heads and how we don’t have to stay stuck as the kids who were just scared and trying to survive, doesn’t do something for you, then we’re just very different people. 
SNL scene: okay it’s pretty much the same but the way John is sleeping on Paul was everything, it wasn’t just a head on the shoulder he was fully laying back against Paul!! 
The ending: this is just so brutal because Paul doesn’t leave the flat to get his guitar, he borrows one of John’s and so when Yoko calls and John starts doing the whole ‘I wish you were here, you’re the only one who stops me disappearing’ it’s literally…. In Paul’s face. And it hurts. Then at the very end they cut between John on the phone to Yoko and Paul on the phone to Linda, and so Paul says ‘I love you’ to Linda, then John says ‘I love you too’ to Yoko but it sounds like they said it to each other, and then Here Today plays. The fact most people didn’t appear to be crying baffled me quite frankly. 
Yoko: They decided to have Yoko be the one who actually invited Paul, which felt like an odd choice and didn’t really add anything for me, but there we go 
Okay I’m gonna shut up there because this is way too long and I doubt anyone’s read it but ahhhhhhhhh it was so good and you’re just all lucky I can’t text you because my friends have had much more incoherent versions of all this
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Kind!Stubborn!Yuu x Jade, Trials and True love, there is enough proof that the twin would potentially wake up the prefect due to them genuinely being close, but there is still an anxiety about trusting one of the TWEELS until they DO actually wake up, maybe comedy if you'd like! Sorry if this is too much or little, had no clue how to word it
I havent seen anything where someone who wasnt a housewarden woke up the reader with a kiss so i was just curious how you'd go about it if you did pick this one up, have a good day! :]
Trials and True Love: Shock The Heart
(Jade x Kind!Stuborn!Reader (GN))
For the premise , please refer to this Drabble
Note: Indentions mean flashbacks; Reader is Yuu.
Also, excuse my Grammar.
This is the only Request I will write from the last time I opened my Request, as this is the only Ask that adhere to my specific rules.
Lastly, special thanks to @twstarchives as I took some dialogues from their translations.
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Summary:
“Oh my, you seem to have taken a fancy to me.”
“So what if I did?”
That was the last conversation Jade had with the Prefect before the "Sleeping Beauty"incident occurred. He is confident that their conversation that day meant something.
That the Prefect was hinting at him to really look at them.
And as he prepared his documents for the trial, he swallows down any form of doubts in his mind, determined to wake up you up with true loves' kiss.
If only it was that easy.
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In the matter of Finding the Ramshackle Prefect’s True Love: The case of Jade Leech vs the Faculty council 
The antecedent facts are as follows, according to the testimony of Mr. J. Leech and the evidence presented:
Met the first time during investigation of Student Injuries (Testimony from C.Diamond,R.Rosehearts, and etc.)
Worked as a team during the Vacation break, fostered camaraderie (attached photos attached, similar photos of the same event posted in the Magicam of K. Asim, J. Viper, Ashengrotto ,F.Leech, A.Trappola, and D.Spade also submitted as evidence. Printed screenshots included timestamp, digital copy submitted in Flashdrive with links to Original posts)
The Prefect  and Jade are clubmates  in Mountain Lovers club,wherein  Defendant is the founder and sole member, joining in their own will.(Attached Fulfilled Sign up sheet, approved club member contract, listed in the Official club member list with stamp of NRC, all Original documents and timestamps)
Worked together in Monstro lounge, Yuu working there without coercion  (Original copy of contract of Employment, Original copy of payroll records, Original copy of Employee Group photos)
Has been seen together in the library in the past few weeks (Printed copy of conversations with dates, digital screenshots submitted in Flashdrives, handwritten scraps of paper detailing several meet ups also attached with copies)
Exchanged phone numbers (One screenshot, printed with copy)
Give gifts to each other (Letter of thanks hand written by the Prefect, Gift wrapper used, Origami paper animals and mushroom with Prefect’s thumb marks, a detailed forensic investigation attesting that it is Prefect’s thumb marks)
Photos of the  Prefect and Defendant together showcasing their camaraderie and closeness (Printed screenshots of images posted on Magicam, digital version submitted with links to Original Posts;10-20 pieces of Polaroid photos together, and an Affidavit attesting to the veracity of the images)
Scrapbook gifted by the Prefect (Thumb prints of Prefect present)
Defendant alleges that there exists a prima facie certainty that he and the Prefect have mutual romantic affiliations as presented in the gathered pieces of evidence and Testimonies.
Jade had thoroughly prepared for the trial, he also thought that the whole thing was a bit too much dramatic. However, he thanked the professors’ common sense or else, your lips would be tainted by just any man who thought they even had a chance with you. Just the thought of it fills his blood with so much rage, he doesn’t mind getting dirty but, the laws on land would restrict him for any vindication he would have sought to achieve if things had went in a different direction.
Jade looked down at the Prefect who looked expectantly at him. You tried to stand taller while looking up at him, trying to make yourself bigger unconsciously in front of his taller self. “Hmmm, I don’t know.” Jade teased, giving you a thoughtful look, his smile however bearing his intent.” I take my club activities seriously, not that I don’t think you won’t...However, I must warn you, if you cannot devote yourself to the club, you might as well swim along now.” Jade stepped back when he felt a poke on his side. He felt a hint of annoyance. For a moment, he had the urge to retaliate and attack you for violating his personal space. He reeled it in. “Trust me, I wouldn’t put my neck on the line if I didn’t mean what I wanted to do.” You explained, indignant. There’s a certain stubbornness in your eyes that makes Jade want to open up your head to know what you’re thinking. Still, he lets you speak your mind as the unexpected interaction begins to pump adrenaline in his veins. You were making him feel so many emotions at once, he can’t help but be enthralled. After you were done with listing down your qualifications, Jade looked down on you again. “Why do you want to be in my club?” he asks, serious this time. You grinned. “Just like you, I want to explore this magical world. Wouldn’t it be fun if we do it together?”
As Jade began answering the Professors’ interrogation he was beginning to lose any doubts he may have had about your intentions towards him, also maybe because he finds it easy to answer the council’s questions. He wasn’t lying about anything he had said or had written down, although maybe he left out some facts here and there. Some truths do not need to be known by the public, its between you and him.
“Well, everything seems to be in order.” Trein says, scanning the documents once again. 
More than a Trial, the entire thing looked like a staff meeting given that the whole thing occurred within Ramshackle’s lounge. The two  Professors all sat on the sofa near the stairs, while Jade sat on the opposite side facing the windows. The blinds were shut and the old Ramshackle lights kept flickering, Jade understands why the old building needed constant repairs. ” As for your witnesses, all testimony seems to be original.”
Vargas was outside the dorm, guarding the place, while Sam was playing substitute teacher to fill in one of the professor’s shoes. So there were only two professors he had to face.
While the old Professor looked over the documents again, the younger Professor scrutinized Jade instead. Crewel, with his discerning eye and watchful gaze, roamed his eyes over him as if he was a guilty criminal and not a student. 
Jade respected the Professor for his power, yet he still found it uncomfortable to be the tailend of the fashionable man’s observations. 
You got a taste of your own medicine, huh Jade?
“I enjoy observing people, however I get uncomfortable when it’s done to me. I suppose this would mean I’m shy?” “If you’re shy, then I am an Ignilhyde student.”
Jade almost cracked a smile, remembering you and hearing your voice in his head. It would be an outright lie to say he didn’t miss you. Stubborn and sarcastic you might be, he missed the sound of your voice. 
“I think I’d like to eat something light before exercising. I’m embarrassed to admit it, but I tend to get hungry easily.”
You raised your eyebrow at Jade as you trekked up the mountains.” You didn’t eat?”  “Embarrassing to admit it, I may have gotten excited on the prospect of on a new hiking trail and forgot to eat my meal.” He admitted, feeling a little sheepish that he had to admit such a thing to you. It seems like Jade often loses his cool when it comes to his hobbies. He is now more used to his human legs, but it doesn’t mean he has entirely adapted to land, especially climbing up steep hills. NRC had banned certain areas from being within student reach,you, however, had managed to convince the Headmage to let the Mountain Lover’s Club go to uncharted territories. “Ah, well, here you go.” Finding a nice spot on the forest floor, Yuu settled down to sit, patting their side, beckoning Jade to sit with them. “ I packed some sandwiches. Hope you like tuna and vegetables, because that’s all I got and some chocolates.”  Jade was about to politely decline, he had packed his own food for the trip. “You are far too kind, however I— is that your sandwich???” The sandwich Yuu offered looked like a bunch of vegetables was dumped between two pieces of bread, if there was tuna meat there he would not know. The Prefect scowled at his reaction but still handed the thing to Jade, who was a little too dumbfounded to stop them from pulling him down to sit while simultaneously putting the sandwich in his hand.  It was surprisingly delicious, and could use a bit more tuna, however the mix of vegetable and spices made him bite back any comment he wanted to give. You began to explain that it was made from some herbs you foraged. “Did you like the food?” Jade was still a bit famished, but he did enjoy it. “Quite so, you must teach me the recipe some time.” You nodded, and there he saw mischief in your eyes.
“Sure, I got a favor though.”  Jade blinked. Jade listened as you explained that you got permission to go into the part of the forest because Crowley given you and errand, and you in turn took it as an opportunity to not only get to explore the place, but also to get Jade permission to explore with you. Now Jade owes you a favor. And you also got yourself a bodyguard on your outing. “Isn’t it fun to share your interest with others?” You say, as if you weren’t doing an odd job .” The Headmage didn’t give me a deadline, we can explore this part of the hills as much as we want. Killing two birds with one stone.” You say proudly. Badump. Another sudden jolt of excitement. For the entirety of that day, Jade and the Prefect went exploring the most enchanted part of the forests, both their eyes shining in enthusiasm as they took in all the wonders of nature. Jade could feel the buzz of magic in the air, and the Prefect reveled at the new discoveries, taking pictures with left and right. It seems like you weren’t losing energy any time soon.
You didn't bother Jade as he gleefully foraged some new mushrooms, it seems like you still had your sense of preservation intact to not interrupt him when he was busy. As soon as Jade stood up from his spot, he  found himself getting pulled into a photo, one hand holding a new mushroom he has discovered.  “ Smile!” you say, ghost camera raised up and facing the both of you. For the first time in a while, he gave a sincere sharp toothed grin without malice.
“Well, then, let’s let him in because he seems like the Perfect True Love Candidate!” Crowley declares in between the two professors, Jade forgot he was there for a moment, he never really spoke throughout the trial. He didn’t seem sincere either, he just seems like he wanted to get things over with and fly off to who knows where. Maybe he misses the Prefect, his errand person.
Jade wanted to pluck out those feathers off his and sprinkle him with lemon juice.
Usually, the trial would also be attended by the Ghosts of Ramshackle, fortunately for Jade, they had pre-arranged plans in the netherworld. Meanwhile, Grim, who had seen him enter through the dorms, flew out from who knows where.
The two professors looked at each other, then they nodded at Crowley. However, before the Headmage could speak, a small crowd barged in the room, with Professor Vargas trailing after them.
“We object!”
“Absolutely not!”
“This trial is a sham-NYAAHHH!”
Jade’s nonchalant facade faltered.
 Ah yes, your friends... 
Grim had called for back up.
Jade cannot fathom how you deal with your so-called group, maybe some of them were rational or interesting, like Jack, Epel, Ortho hell even Sebek was amusing. However, the two Heartslabyul friends of yours had been beginning to irk him. 
At first, the two seem to run away, willing to leave you behind whenever he comes over to chat with you about club activities. But soon enough, they began to be nuisances, pulling you away from him by making ridiculous excuses, all of which you shut down, so that you two won’t converse. It was amusing at first, but now it was getting on his nerves. Ace Trappola and Deuce Spade had been overprotective of you, dare he say both seem to be holding romantic feelings towards you. However, it is Jade you willingly approached to stay with and share your interest with the world.
If it was permissible on land, he’d show them a sample of how he got his earring.
Alas, land rules seem to be kinder than those of the sea.
And you wouldn’t like it if he does what's in his mind either, given your protective nature. You always seem more fearless when it comes to those you care for, and it doesn’t go well with Jade, the thought of you hating him.
Really, you attract such a rowdy bunch, it must be because you're too accepting of people's...quirks.
Jade stared at the gift you gave him, it was small enough to carry, however big enough to be used as a journal. All in all, it was quite portable.
“ It’s a scrapbook!” You declare with glee, he half believed you were gonna bounce any moment now with the whimsy in your voice but you didn’t. You were often quiet, but when you got excitable, it truly shows.  You two were in the library, as he was discussing with you the discoveries you found the last time you went hiking, identifying even the leaves you found on the ground. It was a regular briefing session after every activity.  You explained how Jade could preserve some of the plants he found, explaining the drying process of the flowers and the leaves. You also explained how it can help keep track of the discoveries, and is a more fun and novel way to record things compared to typing it up digitally.
“This will be our club’s legacy!” You cheered quietly, pulling him down by the hem of his coat as you whispered in his ear after the librarian gave you both a stink eye. “ We could put the photos I take here, it’s like we’re actual explorers.” Not a bad idea, Jade thought. It was smart and it made things more interesting. He doesn’t seem to mind working together to build a legacy with you.  The determination in your eyes sparked like jellyfish in the skies. Badump! Badump! “Very well, let’s work on ‘our’ scrapbook.” And so the two of you did, chatting over the phone over what to do, what to put in it, and the next club meeting’s topic. You even suggested putting in some recipes based on the plants you foraged, making sure that no one ever eats the one herb that got your tongue speaking gibberish for two hours straight. It's been awhile now, and Jade doesn’t feel like giving any snide comments when you unconsciously poke or hold unto him anymore. He seems to have found comfort in your presence.
The Professors have berated the unsolicited guests, however, with Grim vouching for them, and given their relationship with the Prefect, the two professors let them interrogate and cross-examine his evidence.
“ This is clearly fake!” Ace declared, holding up a polaroid photo of you and Jade in the forest.
“Yeah, fake!” Deuce and Grim echoed. 
Epel looked at the photo and gave it to Ortho who scanned it.
“It doesn’t seem to be digitally manipulated.” The flame-haired first year states. Ace and Deuce groaned in disappointment.
Epel didn’t harbor any ill will towards Jade, however he is still aware of what happened in the past with Octavinelle, as well as his sneaky ways. He just can’t let one of his friends be take advantage of like that. Jack echoes the same sentiments, however he is much more level headed than the Adeuce duo, he is simply there just in case the Eel-mer pulls off any of his tricks. So is Sebek, who seems to not want to be there, but still stays, he seems more alert than Jack, watching every movement of the Octavinelle student.
“This is forged handwriting!” Deuce says, unsure of himself as he raised one of the documents which was labeled to be in the Prefect’s handwriting.
“Proof?” Jade asks.
Deuce looked flustered and couldn’t say anything back. 
Jade’s suave smile returned.
They were just a bunch of fools who bark more than bite. Jade doesn’t really need to do anything as the unorganized bunch seems to be getting on the nerves of the professors, too.
Every photo, handwriting and evidence they pick up is confirmed by Ortho to be authentic, and with every confirmation the first year's confidence depletes.
It's just a matter of time.
The door got kicked open and Floyd walked in followed by Azul.
Jade sighed, exasperated. The professors and Crowley groaned and some of the first years stepped back.
“Jade~ We’re here to help or whatever! Hehe.” Floyd plopped to the space next to his brother.”This seems so fun, you should have called me in.”
Azul was much less flamboyant when he came in, apologizing to the others for their sudden appearance, smooth-talking his way so that the professors would let him and Floyd testify in Jade’s favor.
When you were desperate for money due to your meager allowance, Jade had convinced you to work for Monstro Lounge. In the past, you would have declined due to the last time you were coerced to work there, however, given your newfound friendship with Jade, you reluctantly agreed. Jade wasn’t subtle in his preference over you when it came to the staff, but that doesn’t mean he didn’t work you to the bone just like Azul did. And you were fine with that, for you had expressed that you take it as an insult to your skills when you are not treated equally as the rest. Still, you did not say no to taking some of the “wrong order” drinks that returned to the kitchen that Jade needed to dispose off, nor the meals that were a bit “burnt on the side” to be served. With you working in Monsto Lounge, you had more time chatting with Jade outside of topics of club activities. You were very chatty when it came to your hobbies, but you were a bit guarded when it came to your life from the other world. You were smart, Jade liked that. Still, as you two become closer, you began permitting yourself to tell him stories about your world, which he was equally intrigued in. In turn, however, you make him spill some of his stories from the sea.  Sometimes, Floyd gets so irritated when the two of you talk post-work hours when the lounge is supposed to close, as he wanted to go back to his room and sleep, that he just turns off the light on both of you.
Meanwhile, Azul cut off some madols from your paycheck to reimburse the “utility cost” you two use up when you stay a little late in the lounge.  You got so upset  by the pay-cut that Jade was tempted to leave Azul to fend for himself at the next lunchtime rush hour.  Oh wait, he wasn’t tempted, he did actually leave the lounge for a quick “break” during saturday lunch hour. It was a mess back there.
Azul learned his lesson.
Jade wants to strangle his brother right there and now.
Azul was able to word his story properly, highlighting the closeness of the Prefect and Jade when the former worked at Mostro Lounge. No doubt, he was killing birds with one stone.
First, he was showing the professor’s that his business and employees were doing well and not being subjected to unfair business practices because Jade and you had time to foster romance, and Second, by testifying for Jade, the eel-mer will owe him a debt of gratitude.
However, Floyd was a different issue. He answered the first years and professor’s questions without thinking of the way he is phrasing it, and Jade was not permitted to interrupt lest he ‘compromises the testimony’, according to Ace.
“Yeah, Jade is always thinking about Shrimpy. He has this whole notebook full of their info.”
“Like what?” Ace asks. Deuce looked ready to throw a punch.
“Likes, dislikes, blood type and all that. Sizes too!”
Shut up! Shut up!
Epel and Jack got a sour look on their face, and the professor’s look at Jade pointedly. Even Sebek, who also collects information about his lord, raised an eyebrow at Floyd’s statement.
“It was for club purposes, the Perfect has access to my information too. The Blood type is in case of emergency, and the size is for the club jacket.” Jade intervened.
“Nyah! You’re not supposed to speak!” Grim yelled, to which Crewel quietened him down.
“So anyways, Jade and Shrimpy seem to be very interested in each other and all that, Jade talks about them a lot and sometimes it gets very annoying.”
Jade will punch his brother after all this, he thinks.
“Oh yeah, he also has some of their things in his drawer!”
Sevens, Floyd shut up!
He was making Jade look like a crazed stalker instead of a prince charming.
Now even Azul gave  Jade a quick judgemental look.
“ He even glues the stuff Shrimpy gives him on his notebook and grins creepily, wahhh~ Really, it gives me goosebumps!” Floyd adds.
“ORIGAMI! THEY’RE ORIGAMIS THE PREFECT HAS MADE!” Jade blurted out, unable to keep his cool any longer.
It seems like everyone was taken aback by his uncharacteristic reaction. “ I’m sorry…ehem..” he tried to regain his cool. After a moment, he returned with his polished smile, eyes sending daggers at his brother for a quick second before closing it and addressing the others.”They’re origami art that the prefect made, it's in the ‘scrapbook’ I have submitted.” He points on the evidence on the coffee table, indeed there were origamis there.
Despite the chaos, Floyd was undeterred and kept talking.
“Ya know, Jade has been acting odd more than usual. He looks stupid, but he also looks happy.” the twin continued, this time his voice taking a more serious note.”He seems to sincerely like Shrimpy, he wouldn’t be here otherwise. There’s no benefit with sticking with 'em’ even if Shrimpy is a lil  bit fun, after all. He’s not stupid to be doing all these for flimsy feelings.” Floyd scratched the back of his head.”So just let my brother try waking em' up, he’s proved himself enough, and none of you even have a lick of evidence against him, just a bunch of useless ramblings.”
The room went quiet.
The professors, even Crowley, looked at each other and nodded.
“Mr. Jade Leech, let me guide you up.”
Jade and the Prefect found themselves caught up in the rain from their latest hike. Thankfully, there was a nearby cave they could take shelter in. “Are…you…alright?” You said as you scooted closer to the fire. Only your hiking jacket got wet, and it seems like your inner clothes did not. Still, it was particularly cold.  Jade had made a small fire and was setting aside his jacket to dry in the corner. The teal-haired second year sighed, he can’t believe you were asking for his condition when you were the one shaking despite being covered in a blanket.  You really were far too kind. Jade came from the ocean, he wasn’t susceptible to the cold as humans were, you knew that, but still asked for his condition. He smiled. “I am fine, Prefect, thank you for asking.” He put his hand on his chest and gave you a reassuring smile. Yuu rolled their eyes, then he beckoned him to come over to their side. Jade agreed, curious on what they intend to do. Once he is sat, you spread the blanket around his shoulder too, and huddled close to him.”So that..we…brrrr…don’t get as cold.” You say, your shoulder touching his. “I know you don’t like it when I ‘clingy’ , as you word it, but this time we’re talking about life and death.” The seriousness of your tone coupled with your trembling form, made him chuckle, you looked like a wounded animal.” Hey, I’m being…brrr..serious here.” Jade just nodded, humoring you. There was a moment’s silence. Badump! Badump! Badump! “If you knew I didn’t like it, why did you still approach me?” He asked, "It has always been in his mind.” Aren’t you afraid I’ll bite.” He teased, making a display of his sharp teeth. “I'd like to live, thank you very much”, you scoffed. Then your voice softened.”At first I didn’t mean to, it was a force of habit…however now…”you paused. Badump! Badump! Badump! You murmured something Jade didn’t catch, so he leaned down to listen. You turned your head and met his yes. “I don’t think I am afraid of you…” He heard a gasp. From him? From you? Who knows. You lean in closer. “Maybe you should be…” his eyes glazed over, the beating in his chest battling the thunder from outside. “Hmmm, but I think I’d like to trust you.” You whisper softly, he could feel your breath on his cheek. He feels goosebumps on his neck, and another kind of excitement feels him. Something akin to pure utter joy. “Careful, I might think you fancy me…” You grinned. “So what if I did?”
Nothing happened that night.
You two were rescued by the professors that day, and it was the last conversation he had with you in person given that your busy schedules prevented you from meeting up. He heard about you intending to clean your dorm, however, he didn’t mean that it would lead to all this trouble.
Still, it seems like it was worth it.
The feel of your lips on his was worth it.
When you awoke, you shot up from your bed to a seated position. Jade was barely able to dodge your sudden movement.
He couldn’t help it, he laughed.
You blinked your eyes, dumbfounded at the way he is laughing. His laugh sounded…nice…Maybe a bit evil sounding, but it was nice.
You touched your lips, remembering that you felt something soft land on it.
“What was that?”You ask, although you felt like you knew the answer.
Jade brushed a stray hair from your face, his eyes looking at you softly. 
He took your hand and laid a chaste kiss on your knuckles.
“The consequences of shocking my heart.”
End notes:
Word Count:4k+
That's a lot of words! I hope you enjoyed the Oneshot. I would like to hear youe thoughts in the Ask!-Quill
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You know what I would have loved in Days of Future Past? Hank snapping and yelling at Erik, about what Charles went through in the past 10 years.
Erik: You sacrificed your powers so you could walk?
Hank *putting on autopilot and storming out of the cockpit* You fucking asshole! So what if he did? What do you care? Shouldn't you be glad? Aren't you happy you don't have to put on your stupid helmet again? Shutting him out again? Breaking his heart even more? You made him already feel guilty about having his powers, do you really have to make him feel guilty about not having them? You have no right to talk about his legs like that. You shot him and then pulled out the bullet, I mean how little common sense do you have, to do such shit?
Charles: Hank, it's alright...
Hank: No. Nothing is alright. Don't you dare say that anything is alright, not after the last fucking ten years. *turning to Erik again* Do you have any idea of what you did? Not only put you on that stupid helmet and killed Shawn, which Charles felt by the way. -Oh you didn't know? Strange, and I thought you two were so damm good in talking about your feelings- Not only did you shot a bullet exactly at his spine and pulled it out again. No you had to take Raven with you. His only family left. The only nice person there was, in his fucked up childhood. You took her with you and left him alone, in pain and with the feeling that his powers were something wrong, the only mutation you shouln't be proud of. So yeah, excuse him for not only taking the opportunity of being able to walk again, but to shut his so damm hated power down. And don't even get me started on your fucked up relationship. Do you honestly think, we belived that you two were just really great friends? What do you think happens, when you break the heart someone, who loved you so deeply, in such a cruel way? Not just someone, but a telepath, with a range of emotions we can't even grasp to understand. That they stay as cold as you? That they just keep going?So again; excuse him, excuse him for having emotions, for falling into a depression and for getting addicted to drugs and alcohol. Now would you do us all the favour of having a little bit of emotional intelligence or shutting the fuck up, asshole?
Logan: *grinning* I just rememberd why I like you.
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luveline · 9 hours
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pleaseee anything angsty with bombshell!reader and spencer!! love you
love you!
When Jason Gideon dies, it’s alone with his murderer. Isolated from friends and family, years after you last heard from him. Spencer hasn’t spoken to him since he left, and yet the ruin on his face when it’s confirmed to be Gideon churns your stomach. 
He rushes out of the room. 
You look at Gideon, dead, and regret that you never got along. You barely knew him. So when Derek leaves to follow Spencer out, you don’t go with them, thinking Derek has better common ground. 
“You okay?” you ask Hotch quietly. 
He nods, solemn. “Do you want to go check on Reid?” he asks, equally hushed. 
“I think Morgan has it for now.” You turn away from Gideon. You don’t want to see him dead, it’s too scary when it’s someone you know. It reminds you that it could’ve been you, or Spencer. 
You don’t find time to speak to your poor bookworm until later that night when you’ve been forced to retire in dinky motel rooms. You and Spencer used to share because you were the only person normal enough not to complain when he infodumps, and because you were fond of him. Then because you were best friends, and now because you’re in love. How lucky you’ve been. 
He’s always had it rough, though. 
You’d asked him multiple times throughout the day if he was okay, and every now and then he’d nodded or sniffled, but now he’s alone with you his facade fades completely, and you want to have a real talk. 
His shoulders rock. You reach out for him. He breaks for the bathroom. 
“Spencer?” you ask, startled. 
The door shuts hard between you, frame shaking.
“Spencer, are you okay?” 
You cross the brown carpeting to grab the handle. You pause there, heart dropping as the weak sound of muffled sobbing reaches your ears. “Spencer,” you say, soft, and without any teasing. You’re capable of seriousness sometimes. “Sweetheart, are you okay?” 
“Can I be alone?” he asks.
He sounds strained. 
“I’d rather you weren’t. I don’t know what you’ll do.” 
“What?” he asks. 
“People do strange things when they’re upset. I just want to be with you, that’s all.” 
“I’m fine,” he says shortly. 
You’d be offended, but like you said. People do strange things when they’re upset, and this is worse than just being upset. This is grief. Intangible, cruel. Spencer has a history of doing things that aren’t good for him when he’s hurting. You’ve no interest in leaving him alone. 
“Spencer… I love you. I want to be near you.”
Your straight-forwardness pays off. 
“Okay,” he says. “It’s not locked.” 
That’s reassuring. You open the door, find him standing at the sink with his cheeks wet with thick tears. He crumples when he sees you, hiding his face in his hands. 
You’re not sure what to do. Loving someone, you tend to love all of them, and you’ve yet to find parts of Spencer you couldn’t adore, but he just lost somebody important to him and you have no idea how to handle it. You decide to try, whether jumping into it will do any good or not. You walk right into his chest and hug him. 
“Sorry,” you murmur, “I love you. I’m so sorry.” 
“It’s okay.” He takes a shaky, odd breath, like he might laugh. He tries to as he holds your shoulders. “God, it’s okay, don’t be sorry.” 
“I am. It’s not fair. I never want you to lose anyone.” 
He presses his lips into a hard line and nods, prompting tears down his cheeks one after the other. “It’s okay.” 
It’s not okay. Spencer cries and you watch him, his hands weak on your shoulders. His hair is greasy at the roots from all the heat of being upset, his face pink, his eyes swollen and sore. His lashes are sticking together in dark triangles, while his sclera turns bloodshot. It’s clear that today has been extremely hard on him, and you should’ve done more. “I should’ve come after you, I’m sorry. I thought Morgan would have a better chance at making you feel better.” You wipe his cheeks, and tuck lank hair behind his ears. “I need you to know I’m here for you.” 
He’s putting on a brave face, slowly but surely. “I know that.” 
“Listen, do you want to shower?” you ask. 
“I want to sit down forever.” 
“We’ll shower first. I’ll come in with you, alright? We can wash your hair, the warm water will be good for your eyes.” You frown sympathetically. “You’ve cried all day.” 
“I can’t believe he’s gone. I wish I’d tried harder to see him. To talk to him again.” 
“You can… I know it’s not the same, but you can tell me. Anything you wanted to say to him, I’ll listen. You can tell me everything.” 
He nods again. More brave face, more unnerving, fake smile. 
You run your hands down his hair, and use your hands to tilt his head forward gently. “You can be alone if you really want to, but I just can’t have that closed door. You understand?” 
“No, I want to shower with you.” He sniffs. “Sorry if I scared you.” 
“It’s not scary.” You curl your arm behind his neck to pull him in for a careful hug. You hold him without moving, relieved when he holds you back, though his hands are limp where they’d usually be rubbing at your shoulders. “It wasn’t scary, I mean. I didn’t mean to suggest you’d do something, but I think the last thing you should be right now is alone. Thanks for letting me stay.” 
He breathes in your neck. “This is nice.” 
You bend back to encourage him further into your arms. “You’re doing so well,” you murmur, rubbing his back in a slow stroke, “you can get through this. We’ll do right by him, I promise. You’re not alone.” 
“I used to feel it. He was the first person who… really looked out for me, before he left.” Spencer sniffles, glassy eyes softening where he looks down at you. “Nobody’s ever stayed with me. No one.” 
“Well, I’m not going anywhere.” 
He sniffles again. “I know… Will you still shower with me?” 
“Mm-hm. Wash your hair for you, if you want me to.” 
“Please.” 
“Costs a kiss,” you say softly. 
“You want one from me right now?” he asks. He’s joking, because he knows you always want one. 
Your spirits finally begin to recuperate. “Plant one on me, handsome… only if you want to.” 
He turns away from you to wipe his face, both of you laughing, him wetly, you in relief. Both with a little bit of guilt. Maybe because life goes on without the people who pass, and that will always feel wrong. 
He turns back to you. Sadness darkens his eyes, but he closes them and leans down tentatively to kiss you. 
You take his soft one, borrow a firmer one, and wrap him up in another hug. Love you, love you, love you, you think. You’re going to make sure that he’s okay. 
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purifiedclitoris69 · 2 days
Text
Darkness and Chaos
A/n: I have no idea how long this been sitting in my drafts, but I finally finished it. Bit unedited, hope you all enjoy! Thanks :)
Wanda Maximoff x enhanced!reader
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You had always been attuned to the dark—something about shadows called to you from a young age. You first noticed it in fleeting moments, like when the shadows around you seemed to shift with your emotions, with your father's yelling and your mother's crying and both their drinking. It was subtle at first, easily dismissed, until one day, the shadows responded to your will, protecting you from the poison your parents spat. A flick of your hand could send the darkness swirling, you could create solid constructs like weapons and shields, bind enemies with shadow tendrils, teleport through shadows, and even craft illusions to confuse foes, you were an unpredictable force.
It wasn’t long before your abilities attracted the attention of powerful beings—both good and bad. The team had first encountered you during a mission to stop some HYDRA experimentation. you yourself sat in a cell experimenting with dark energy. You had been held captive by HYDRA, forced to use your powers of shadow manipulation for the organization’s twisted ends. However, the moment the Avengers arrived, everything changed. Their mission that quickly spiraled out of control but you helped them without hesitation, shadows erupted from you like a storm, weaving through the battlefield with lethal precision, and taking out the HYDRA agents like you’ve been dreaming of for ages. Your tendrils of darkness restrained enemies, while walls of shadow protected the Avengers from incoming fire. Wanda, immediately sensing your potential, your desperation to be good, reaching out with her magic, she offered you a way out—not just from HYDRA, but from the darkness inside you.
The Avengers wasted no time putting your skills to use. Your shadow manipulation was unlike anything they had seen, with Wanda’s chaos magic, capable of rewriting reality itself, the two of you became the Avengers' secret weapon against threats too powerful for conventional means. Your darkness and her chaos were like a pair of loss lovers beginning to dance. You communicated without words, your powers flowing together. It wasn’t just your powers that made you a powerful duo—it was your connection. You had trained together for months, learning to anticipate each other’s moves, covering for one another’s weaknesses. Where your shadows needed precision and control, Wanda’s chaos magic thrived in unpredictability, giving you both a perfect balance of order and chaos.
In the heat of battle, your synergy was unmatched. Wanda would send waves of crimson magic crashing into your enemies, altering the battlefield in ways no one could predict, while your shadows weaved in and out, creating traps, shields, and devastating strikes from every angle.
Naturally you guys were an inseperable pair outside of the battlefield as well. You were best friendsand everyone on the team knew it. You spend almost every free moment together, whether it's lounging in the common area, cooking meals in the shared kitchen, or training in the gym. But for you, every moment with her is tinged with something more, something you can never quite bring yourself to admit. It’s the little things that get to you—the way she smiles when she catches you stealing the last piece of pizza, or how she lightly nudges you with her shoulder when you’re both watching a movie on the couch, curled up under a blanket. Her laugh, soft and genuine, makes your chest tighten, and sometimes, when she’s not looking, you find yourself staring at her just a little too long, trying to memorize every detail of her face.
You were falling in love with her, hopelessly and utterly in love—but you can’t say it. Not yet, not when it could ruin everything.
Your days are a mix of training, missions, and downtime. During training, the connection you share on the battlefield spills over. You’re so in sync, knowing each other's movements before they even happen. When you spar, it’s like a dance of power all over again, a delicate balance of strength and grace. Sometimes, when you’re caught up in the flow, you’ll catch her eye, and there’s this spark—something just beneath the surface that makes you wonder if she feels it too. But then it passes, and you’re back to being best friends, pretending that the tension isn’t there.
After training, you’ll both collapse onto the floor, breathless and laughing. "I’m getting better," Wanda says, teasing you with a grin.
"You’re still too predictable," you tease back, though you don’t mean it. She’s anything but predictable. Wanda is like a force of nature—fierce and compassionate, more complex than anyone you’ve ever known. It’s what drew you to her in the first place. But you’ve gotten good at hiding your feelings, laughing off the moments that hit a little too close to the truth.
in the evenings, you’ll make dinner together in the compound’s kitchen. Wanda loves experimenting with Sokovian recipes, and you’ve found yourself loving the process too, if only because it means spending more time with her. There’s always a moment when your hands brush as you reach for the same ingredient, or when you stand side by side at the counter, your shoulders touching. You’ll glance at her, and she’ll smile, oblivious to the storm of emotions brewing inside you. Sometimes she'd ask you to just sit at the counter for the company and the insurance so that you wouldn't mess up her 'delicate process,' you'd act annoyed but, it always allowed you to study her more, how she scrunches her nose, the sparkle in her eyes, the way her hair framed her face, anything.
"You're staring again," she says one night, catching you off guard as you chop vegetables.
You freeze, your heart skipping a beat. "Am I?" you say, trying to sound casual, but your voice comes out just a little too tight.
She laughs softly, nudging you playfully with her elbow. "You’re a terrible liar."
You laugh it off, brushing it aside like you always do, but every time you’re near her, the feelings only grow stronger. It’s in the way she looks at you with those piercing eyes, the way she leans into you when she’s tired, like you’re her safe place.
Sometimes, late at night, when the compound is quiet and it’s just the two of you sitting on the couch, you wonder what it would be like to tell her the truth. But then fear creeps in—the fear of losing her, of changing everything. So, you stay quiet. When she gets up to leave, she often lingers, just for a moment, as if she’s waiting for you to say something more. You wonder if she feels the tension too, if maybe she’s waiting for you to make the first move. But then she’ll smile, say goodnight, and disappear down the hallway, leaving you alone with your thoughts and the feeling of her absence like a weight on your chest.
Every now and then, you catch her looking at you differently, her gaze lingering a second too long, her touch softer than it needs to be. You wonder if she’s trying to say something without saying it. But you’re too scared to ask, too scared to risk what you have, so you both continue the dance—best friends on the surface, with so much more bubbling underneath.
The rest of the Avengers don't seem to notice the tension. To them, you and Wanda are just inseparable. They joke about it sometimes—and apart of you feel like Natasha knows, Nat teasingly calling you "Wanda’s shadow" because you're always together. And maybe they're right. You follow her wherever she goes, drawn to her like she’s the only source of light in your world. But none of them know how deep your feelings were, how every laugh, every casual touch, every shared glance twists something inside you.
The hardest moments are when Wanda talks about her past—about Vision, the loss, the pain. She opens up to you in ways she doesn’t with anyone else. You’re the one she trusts, the one she comes to when the weight of it all is too much. And you listen, offering comfort the best way you can, but it kills you inside. Because no matter how close you are, a part of her heart still belongs to someone else. And no matter how much you love her, you’re not sure there’s room for you there.
The mission today is different, saving the universe different.
The sky is ablaze with kree ships, and the ground trembles as waves of invaders pour into the city. You and Wanda arrive together, side by side as always, with the rest of the Avengers already in the heat of battle. Steve's voice crackles through your earpiece: “We need backup—now.”
Your heart races, not just from the battle ahead, but from the proximity to Wanda. The mission is urgent, and your mind is focused, but there’s a constant hum in the background—your feelings for her.
You glance over at her, catching a glimpse of her eyes glowing red as she prepares her magic. She looks determined, fierce, and more beautiful than ever. You shake off the thought, trying to focus on the task at hand.
“They’re teleporting in from somewhere,” you say, scanning the battlefield. “If we shut down the portal, we can stop this.”
Wanda nods, and you can see the same determination mirrored in her expression. “I’ll handle the portal. Cover me,” she says, her voice calm but filled with urgency.
Together, you create a dome of darkness, your shadows rising from the ground and swallowing the battlefield in an inky void. The alien invaders stumble, confused, while Wanda floats upward, her crimson magic intertwining with your shadows. You stay close to her, shadows wrapping around your hands like armor as you dispatch enemies who dare to approach. Your abilities blend effortlessly, like they were made to work in unison. And in a way, maybe they were.
As Wanda’s magic tears through the dimensions, severing the invaders’ connection to their homeworld, you can’t help but steal another glance at her. She’s lost in concentration, her hands moving with precise, graceful motions, and it’s in these moments you’re reminded why you’ve fallen for her. It’s not just her power, not just the way you work together in perfect sync—it’s her heart, her kindness, her courage. You’ve seen her at her most vulnerable, and yet she’s never faltered.
With a final surge of magic, Wanda closes the portal, and the skies clear. The remaining invaders are no match for the rest of the Avengers. As you land beside her, the battle over, the battlefield is eerily quiet.
Wanda looks at you, her red magic flickering around her hands before it fades. She’s smiling softly, the exhaustion of the battle evident, but there’s something else in her eyes—something warm, something that makes your heart skip a beat.
“You did great,” she says, stepping closer. “We always do.”
You chuckle, trying to keep it light. “Only because I’ve got you watching my back.”
Her smile widens, and for a brief moment, the world around you seems to blur. It’s just the two of you now, standing in the aftermath of a battle you won together, like always. But there’s something unspoken between you. You can feel it. It hangs in the air like the only shadow you can’t quite grasp.
Admist the two of your distractions, one of the Kree is able to use the last of it's strengh shooting you twice in the back, one going straight through your abdomen. Wanda's face pales as Natasha quickly finishes of the Kree and you fall into Wanda's arms. You can barely focus, but her presence feels like a lifeline. She cradles your face in her hands, her expression frantic, eyes wide with fear.
“Stay with me,” she pleads, her voice trembling. “You’re going to be okay.”
You can feel the warmth of her hands against your skin, and in that moment, the weight of your unspoken feelings spills over. “Wanda,” you say, your voice barely a whisper, “I need to tell you—”
“Not now, y/n” she interrupts, her voice rising as she tries to keep the panic at bay. “We need to get you out of here first!”
But you can see the truth in her eyes, the fear that lurks beneath her fierce exterior. “I can’t—Wanda, I can’t hold back anymore. I love you. More than you know," you force a pained smile as the tears and burning pain blurr your vision, "I'm in love with you."
For a moment, time seems to freeze. You can see the flicker of hope in her eyes, but it’s quickly replaced by something else—fear, and with that your vision goes black.
"Hurry help! Please!," Wanda screams as the rest of the team rushes over.
"We need to get her on the jet now," Natasha says as Steve pick you up with ease, running you straight to the medical table.
You drift in and out of consciousness, the world around you a haze of sounds and sensations. The dull beeping of machines pulls you back, and when you finally force your eyes open, the sterile light of the medbay greets you. Blinking against the brightness, you focus on the figure by your side—Wanda, her face illuminated by the soft glow of the monitors.
“Y/n?” she whispers standing up, her voice trembling with relief. You try to speak, but your throat feels dry and raw, she quickly hands you a glass of water. She’s leaning closer, her hand holding yours, warm and grounding. “You’re awake. Thank goodness.”
The memories rush back—flashes of battle, the sting of pain, and the way she cradled your face in her hands as the world around you faded, as you finally confessed your love. Panic surges through you. “Wanda, what happened?” you rasp, struggling to sit up, but she gently pushes you back down.
“You were hurt. A Kree shot you.” Her voice is steady, but her eyes betray the storm beneath. “Natasha took care of it. You’re safe now.”
“safe, yeah…” you echo, relief flooding through you. “What about you? Are you okay?”
She nods, but there’s a distance in her gaze, a shadow that lingers just behind her eyes. You want to reach out, to pull her closer and make her feel your warmth, but there’s something heavy in the air—a wall between you.
“Wanda, I—” you start, the urgency of your feelings pressing at the edges of your mind. But before you can finish, she interrupts.
“Y/n, listen. There’s something we need to talk about.” Her tone shifts, the seriousness making your heart drop. You search her face, looking for any sign of what she’s about to say, but all you see is a mix of determination and fear.
"Wanda, what I said, it's true," you gulped down your anxiety, "I justt—"
“I don’t feel the same way,” she says, her voice firm yet shaking slightly. The words hit you like a punch to the gut, and for a moment, you can’t breathe. “I’m sorry. I care about you, but not like that. We need to focus on being a team...we work better as we are."
Her words pierce through you, each syllable a shard of ice. You feel the warmth of her hands slipping away, and the connection you thought you shared shatters, leaving you raw and exposed. “But I—”
“No, y/n” she cuts you off, her voice rising with a mix of desperation and anguish, "I can't give you what you want. Not in that way, not after everything."
Inside, Wanda is fighting a battle of her own, her heart pounding in her chest. She wants to reach out, to tell you that she feels the same, that she’s been harboring feelings for you since the moment you became friends. But the thought of losing you—the thought of watching you slip away like Vision, like everyone else she’s ever loved—sends a cold wave of terror through her. She remembers the pain of loss, the way it consumed her, the ache that still lingers deep within her soul.
“Wanda, please…” you say, your voice breaking, and her heart aches at the sound. She can see the confusion and hurt in your eyes, and it shatters her inside.
You deserve so much more than a broken person like me, she thinks, forcing a smile that feels like a lie. You deserve someone who can be there for you completely, without fear. But I can’t be that person. I can’t be the reason you’re hurt.
“I just need you to understand,” she says, her voice steadier than she feels. “We can’t cross that line. It’s safer this way.” But as the words leave her lips, she knows they’re a lie. The truth is that she loves you—deeply, but she can’t let herself act on that love. Not now. Not when the fear of loss looms like a shadow, ready to swallow her whole. “I care about you, and I’ll always be here for you,” she adds, trying to keep her voice calm, even as her heart races. “Just… let’s keep it this way.”
You look at her, the hurt in your eyes a mirror of the pain in her heart. She watches as you swallow down the heartbreak and practically return back to the shell of the person they found at HYDRA. As she watches the acceptance settles in your gaze, a part of her breaks, knowing that she’s ultimately built your walls back up, she's pushed you away when all she wanted was to pull you closer.
What have I done? she thinks, her chest tightening as she sees the distance growing between you.
You nod slowly, swallowing hard against the lump in your throat, your heart heavy with the weight of her rejection. And as you lie back against the pillows, the silence fills the space where the truth should be, echoing with everything left unsaid, "I think I'd like some space for a little," you mumble turning away from her as you try so desperately to keep the tears from spilling.
"Okay," she agrees quietly walking towards the door, she pauses looking back as she's about to leave, "I'm sorry, y/n," she leaves.
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bratbarzal · 3 days
Text
On Your Side (NH13) / Chapter Six
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Pairing: Nico Hischier x Fem!OC Poppy Jensen*
*I say it's an OC, it's just a name and third person POV. I use minor character descriptions because I don’t get on with writing vague reader inserts/YN for long-form, story heavy fics, but I will generally try to avoid including race and body type or really any physical descriptors. I’m always open to feedback on my writing, or how to be more inclusive.
WC: 15k
Chapter Warnings: believe it or not there's fluff in here. very very cute scenes I have to say. but obviously encompassed by angst. a fluff sandwich with angsty bread if you will. and the butter is nico's continuous pining. luke being the ultimate girls girl, wise beyond his years god bless him, the rest of the boys being soft, Nico's family being endearing, and then here we go!!! mentions of vomiting and food aversion, mentions of pregnancy & early pregnancy symptoms, I want to say there's mentions of drowning I remember thinking of the imagery and I can't remember how detailed I went with it sorry! it isn't actual drowning just like a metaphor of sorts. mentions of the birth control patch if you've ever had it you KNOW that needs a full trigger warning whoever came up with that deserves jail it's hell it's horror!! and mentions of poor parental relationships.
Series Masterlist
Previous Part (Chapter Five)
A/N: potentially fun fact the last scene in this chapter is maybe the second thing I ever wrote for this fic!! like as a concept/idea it was one of the earliest scenes in my head and it's one of my faves!! I've been dying to get to this part to flesh it out and figure out how to build to it and I'm really happy with how it turned out!! writing for families of real people is such an odd concept but I really like the differences in their parents lmao it's fun to write and compare the dynamics obviously it goes without saying I do not know these people lmao
I know the last chapter broke a couple hearts so I'll leave you guys to crack on! as always, never proofread, and as always, would love to hear your thoughts and opinions!!! all the love in my heart to anyone who messaged me this last week on anon or not or private or whatever it may be I appreciate you so much yous have been so so kind to me and it means the world 💖
Nico
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If anyone were to ever ask Nico what his favourite trait of Poppy’s is, he knows for a fact he would not be able to narrow it down. She’s a culmination of all things good, has been from the day he met her, and even the things he shouldn’t like about her, he loves.
He shouldn’t like that she’s sarcastic, quick-witted - scarily so - and sometimes says things before she has the chance to properly think about them or any problems they may cause her. He remembers his first couple of years in Jersey, when he was one of the more junior players on the team, still considered new to the country and the culture, and a lot of people had underestimated how familiar he was speaking English despite his years playing in Canada and growing up learning multiple languages. They would often default to explaining things like he wouldn’t understand, like common terms or jokes told amongst a group - and he, being too polite to correct them, had always ended up feeling like an idiot for it. 
There had been one instance prepping for a media day, where he had only met Poppy once a week or so before, and she had been prepping him to be on camera, clipping his mic pack and checking the settings. 
One of the other media staff, a guy called Liam who was in his second year where Poppy was in her first and had been the one she had to initially shadow, had cracked some misogynistic joke to her about how she was messing around with controls she didn’t understand just to be able to stand closer to Nico, as if he wasn’t right there or couldn’t hear him - and then when he had seen Nico’s furrowed brow and downturned lips, had assumed he didn’t understand the joke because he hadn’t laughed.
“It’s because she thinks you’re hot!” The guy had obnoxiously enunciated every word, capturing the attention of some of the more senior assistants in the room who had rolled their eyes just as hard as Nico had.
“He’s from Europe, Liam, not Jupiter. You don’t have to speak to him like he’s some alien.” Poppy had shook her head, caring so little about the fact that Liam had seniority over her, fitting the pack into Nico’s back pocket without him even feeling it, “He understands your slimy little jokes, he just doesn’t find you funny. Nobody does.”
Nico shouldn’t have liked her speaking on his behalf as much as he did, coming to his defence with her sharp tongue and cold glare, but no one had ever picked up on how uncomfortable that kind of thing made him before. The stupid jokes and the belittling tone Liam had used toward him. Poppy saw through both.
And all of her good is even better.
Poppy is positive. He has never seen her leave a room without having caused at least one smile or laugh. She’s someone he’s seen most of the guys perk up around, seek her out for help or even mundane conversation just to lighten the load, and he knows he’ll never be able to keep track of all the times he’s gone to her for a pick me up over the years.
She’s generous. Generous with her time when it comes to her friends, always making sure to maintain plans even when she’s at her busiest. When it comes to her work, staying late to help out a colleague or finish a project so it isn’t left to the last minute. With her knowledge and experience, always there for new members of staff or additions to the team to show them all her favourite spots in the area and get them up to speed with their role.
She is patient - waits around for him when he gets stuck doing media, or held behind to see the physio, and she never complains. She’ll never watch an episode of a show they start together without him, despite the fact his schedule doesn’t often allow for him to stay up late catching up, and she doesn’t moan when she gets spoiled if it’s something that comes out weekly and ends up being a hot topic in the office, doesn’t even spoil it for him out of spite. She even pauses the tv as soon as she notices he’s fallen asleep, and she’ll busy herself doing something else until she feels like he’s rested enough to drive home. 
And, above all, she’s forgiving. If someone were to push for an answer, and they were to have done so before this whole mess happened, he probably would have said that was his favourite thing. It’s like her superpower - to be able to understand things from a different perspective without judgement or a major confrontation. It’s like her default process is to give people grace and make things easy, even if they aren’t entirely deserving of that way out.
She had done so with Nico, that night up on the roof. He hadn’t deserved her leniency, not entirely. He had expected he would have to grovel and beg, and he had been more than willing to do so, but she had wanted to avoid further heartache for the both of them, and had decided to move on. 
And sure, she hadn’t technically forgiven him at that point for the way he had treated her, not properly, but she had put him on the path to redemption, and had made it clear what was expected to make it all the way there.
She’d gone easy on him, in spite of how much he had hurt her. She’d been patient with his reasoning, generous with her time, and had done so with an affectionate glint in her eyes that even now makes his heart warm to think about.
It’s the same glint she’d had when she’d come out of that elevator and had seen him by her door. He’d watched her take him in, eyes cast over him in a concerned assessment, and he knew then that no matter what he said, no matter how he explained what had led him to leave her that morning without a word, she would have forgiven him.
She would have found some way to rationalise what he had done, and put how it made her feel to the side in the name of moving on.
And he had seen his life flash before his eyes. 
Nights of coming home to her, muscles weak, brain fogged, and she’d give him that same look and accept what little he had to offer her. She’d be patient, she’d be forgiving. She wouldn’t get mad that he didn’t have time to take her on dates or trips, wouldn’t bite back when he got snappy after a couple of successive losses and let his frustrations come between them, would resign herself to those little parts of him she’d get to herself in the summer, when he wasn’t training or travelling or trying to fit everyone else in, and would swallow down the longing for something more because she loved him. 
And he couldn’t subject her to that, no matter how much she tried to fight him on it, or tried to call him out. 
No matter how much he wanted to be better for her, how much he wanted her to change his mind, the one quality he loved so much was going to be their demise, and so he had relied on it to cling on to the one thing he can give her.
Friendship.
Even if she won’t accept it for a while. Even if she wants to tell him to leave, and to ignore his texts, and his calls, and his efforts to bump into her at work, she has to forgive him. It’s who she is. 
She’ll forgive him and they can be friends.
Eventually.
And so with the weight of her bracelet in his pocket the whole walk home that night, Nico had decided that he could take a leaf out of Poppy’s book. 
He could be patient while she came to terms with what he had done. He could be generous with the space she needed. He could be positive and push down the bubbling doubt that she’ll forgive him at all.
Space happens to be the one thing Nico struggles with the most when it comes to Poppy. Especially conceptualised in the way that it has become - because he can’t physically give her space, they work in the same building. They share the same friends, they end up in the same rooms, and his resolve is as weak as ever where she is concerned, especially when she’s so close, so his generosity ends up being the trait that wains first.
He will give it to himself, he has been trying. He hasn’t been texting her as much as he wants to, understanding that bombarding her with begging and pleading is not only pathetic, but could also be considered harassment. And that will do him no favours in trying to earn back her favour.
But the other night he had been up on the roof after a long day, the air cold but the evening nice, and as he looked out across the Hudson, he had remembered how Poppy had once said her favourite time of the day, and her favourite thing about where she lives, was getting to see the sunset. 
On the early winter evenings, when she’d not long gotten home from work, she liked looking out her window and basking in what she had called cotton candy skies. Swirls of pinks and greyish purples behind the rows of skyscrapers on the other side of the river, all of which reflected the lowering sun in a glimmering, golden glow. He had taken a picture and sent it straight over with the thought that she might be missing it, and he just wanted to let her know. 
Even avoiding him, even wanting space, he was hoping she would at least appreciate that.
The sentiment attached to the picture had read, Just in case you don’t catch this yourself. And as he periodically checked his phone for the rest of the night, he had realised she had probably turned her read receipts off.
At least she hadn’t blocked him.
Nico had, however, started to get creative when it came to work.
Unable to stifle the need to check up on her, or to make sure something happened to brighten her day, he had taken to recruiting the rest of the guys to help.
He should have known how easy it would be, his first enlistment being Jack, who he knew would visit Poppy often, anyway. Only, now he did so with a drink in hand. Peach iced tea if his trip to her office was anytime after lunch, and a hot chai with oat milk if it was before. Nico had initially suggested snacks, but Jack had ended up eating them, himself, which turned out to be useful when it came to bribing him for information.
According to Jack, she was doing okay. Cracking jokes, rolling her eyes at the stupid nicknames he would come up with, and overall she seemed like her normal self. No signs of insurmountable heartache - not Jack’s words, but his own deduction.
He had been surprised at the lack of questions from him, but Jack knows when not to push something, so maybe he had decided to go easy on Nico for now.
Timo had been making sure she was breaking for lunch, checking in every few days so it wasn’t obvious.
John and Bass had taken to calling dumb jokes out to her every time they saw her in the halls, just to make her crack.
Curtis and Dougie had signed themselves up for the mentoring sessions she had been chasing them for since the season had started.
She had been fine with everyone - she smiled, she laughed, she joked, she engaged in conversation - and it was like nothing had happened.
Only, when Nico had felt brave enough to attempt even just eye contact, she wouldn’t even look at him.
No matter how many of the guys reported back that she was doing fine, he could see it every time he looked at her. 
He could see it even when he wasn’t looking at her - that teary, pleading frown she had given him as she had tried to take his hand, the resigned acceptance he had seen when she’d monotonously told him that they had made a mistake, assuming she was mirroring his own sentiments, the tremble in her lip as she had waited for him to leave with her head down at the door.
He thinks about it more often than is healthy, in situations where his focus should really be elsewhere.
Like in the gym, arms shaking as he attempts to lift more than he has in a while, and Jonas who is spotting him has to intervene before he ends up getting crushed.
Like in training, adrenaline pumping as his mind races all over the place, weaving around the defensemen and making sloppy attempts to swipe the puck until he finds himself on the weaker side of a nasty check by Luke that he can’t even argue was unwarranted.
Or in important debriefs in the small team auditorium, where one of their associate coaches, Travis, is going over team strategy before they travel to play the Canes, and he really should be absorbing all the information for such a crucial game - the potential to build on their current 2 game winning streak theirs for the taking - but all he can think about is the looming distance between him and Poppy.
They’re going down to Tampa after, and then head straight into the All Stars break. He isn’t going to see her for almost 2 weeks. Isn’t going to be able to send anyone to check up on her - not without rousing suspicion at least.
He thinks having Bratter knock on her door at home might ring alarm bells.
The distracted glance Nico casts towards the creaking door of the auditorium as it opens is instinctual and fleeting, but all his senses go into high alert when he sees who comes through it. 
The guys have been right, for the most part.
She does look okay.
She looks put together - probably more than he has looked the last two weeks without her, having barely shaved and punishing himself with a borderline dangerous lack of rest - her smart casual attire is neat and co-ordinated, a buttoned up red cardigan and long, dark trousers, her hair up in a ponytail that sways with her movement, and the only indicator that she has any sort of discomfort is the slight purse of her lips where he can tell she’s chewing at the corner.
Travis has become background noise - whatever he’s saying Nico is sure he can catch up on another time - and all he can focus on is the way she watches the coach with genuine interest.
Poppy is the kind of person that gives anyone the time of day - makes them feel like whatever it is they’re saying is the most important thing in the world, and he yearns for a day where her attentions are directed his way again. 
“And Poppy is here from the Youth Foundation,” Her name is one way to get his focus back, Nico’s eyes having not left her figure since she snuck in, leaning beside the door with a binder in hand. He follows as she descends the few stairs to the bottom and moves beside Travis, holding the binder to her chest as she smiles to the rest of the guys. “They have a favour to ask of anyone with some free time that you’re willing to give in your week off, she’s more likely to convince any of you than I am so I’ll just hand straight over.”
“Thank you, Mr Green,” she flicks the binder open, and Nico finds himself holding his breath in anticipation of her looking up and accidentally meeting his eyes, even for a second. “I know you guys are well overdue some time off, and we’d never usually ask so close to the fact, but we have a clinic out in Garfield on the 29th, we’ve donated a bunch of equipment and have some money to donate for the programme they have, and we were supposed to have Patrik Elias out to present it to the kids up there but he’s been held back in Czechia and won’t make it.”
Nico fights the urge to do something stupid like shoot up and volunteer straight away - if not for the fact that he’s supposed to be giving her space and shouldn’t force himself into her good graces, then for the fact his parents will be back in town by then, and he has plans throughout the week with them. Him looking desperate is the least of his concerns.
“If any of you are gonna be around, it would just be for the afternoon, a couple pictures and maybe some skating with the kids. There’s also one of those huge fancy cheques if you’re into showboating,” she tries to sell it, and earns a few affectionate snickers, but Nico knows these guys - while they’re generous people, and he loves them all, and knows they all love her, they’re exhausted, and have been waiting too long for a week of reprieve. 
He kicks at the shin of whoever happens to be sat closest to him. Holtzy. Perfect. He knows he was planning to stay in Jersey. It earns him a glare, but it captures his attention enough so that Nico can level him with a stern look back. 
“If anyone wants to do it, just swing by my office-,”
“I’ll do it,” Alex raises his hand after rolling his eyes and acquiescing to his captain, faking a smile Poppy’s way.
“Oh,” she doesn’t mask the surprise on her face, her lips parting in shock and eyes rounding in disbelief. She looks to Travis who just gives an approving nod in response. 
And, only because he snickers in amusement, Nico kicks Dawson, too. He hasn’t sent him Poppy’s way yet, he’s overdue his turn, and it’s his own fault for laughing at Holtzy’s misfortune. 
“Me too,” Dawson sighs, raising his hand as well and kicking back at Alex when he laughs in turn at him. 
“That was easier than I thought, thank you guys, the kids will be over the moon with the two of you!”
Nico wishes he was the recipient of the smile she gives the both of them. It’s the biggest smile he’s seen her wear in recent weeks, and he can see the light reflect in sparkles in her eyes from all the way across the room. 
That should hold him off for a bit - that little bit of warmth she gives. And sure, it isn’t directed his way, but he can settle with the fact that he’s technically the cause of it. Maybe when he’s down in Raleigh or Tampa he’ll see that smile instead of the other look etched into his recent memory.
“That’s all I’ve got, I’ll leave you guys to your meeting, thanks again!”
He watches her the whole way out, until the door swings closed behind her retreating figure, and his mind races with a surge of misplaced adrenaline for the rest of the debrief.
That’s most of the guys checked off his list, now.
Dawson and Alex are going to help her out with the hockey clinic, John and Nate have been making their way through the worlds worst dad jokes for the past two weeks to relay back to her, Jack is on drink duties, Timo on lunch, Curtis and Brendan are hopefully slowly thawing the ice with cute pictures of their kids. Jonas, Dougie, Haula, Dawsy, Pally - majority of the team have been recruited on his mission to keep her spirits up. Those who haven’t yet had a task are more than willing to play along.
All except one.
His attention drifts over to a mop of curly hair a few rows down, slumped in his seat with his arms crossed over his chest, and though he can’t see his face from where he’s sat, Nico imagines it bears the same angered frown it had when he’d checked him on the ice, earlier. 
Luke is pissed, even as distracted as Nico has been lately, that much is obvious, and he needs to get him on side if he has a chance of ever fixing things with Poppy.
He had underestimated their relationship, when he’d given it some thought, before. When they had been talking about Poppy that one time on the flight back from the Capitals game, and Luke had suggested she had deeper feelings than Nico had ever previously considered.
He had assumed because he’s never seen them together much, that they weren’t as close as Poppy and Jack seem to be, but he knows now he was wrong. 
Luke can be reserved to most, cast in the ever present shadow of his older brothers and held to unfair standards, but he is quietly observant, Nico has noticed, and he clearly sees more of Poppy than he lets on.
He knows Luke is protective over her, that he cares more than he’ll probably ever say.
He hadn’t overshared something she wouldn’t have been comfortable with when they’d had that initial conversation about him and Poppy pretending not to be into each other. He had told Nico to talk to her, had called him out on suppressing his feelings for her and pushed him to take action.
And when he had encountered Nico with Talia in the elevator back in their apartment building, he had been disappointed. 
Jack had been awkward, and evasive, but Luke had a clenched jaw and a purposely avoidant gaze. 
He thinks he gets it.
Luke had encouraged Nico to pursue Poppy, and in his pursuit, Nico had ended up hurting her.
As much as he definitely blames his captain, Luke also blames himself, and Nico of all people knows how frustrating that can be. 
When Travis calls time on the meeting, and the group disperse, Nico rushes down the steps as the boys flood out of the room and catches up to Luke with hastened steps.
“I need to talk to you,” Nico falls in line beside him, a hand clapped authoritatively on his upper back to guide him off his path and toward the locker rooms.
“Can it wait? I’m hungry,” Luke huffs, trying to resist the rerouting but falling victim to one of Nico’s infamous glares.
“Don’t make me pull rank,” he sighs as he yanks the heavy door open, his free hand gesturing for him to enter while the one on his back gives a light shove, “In.”
“Look, I’m sorry for the check earlier, it was a dick move, I didn’t mean it,” Luke starts as Nico follows him into the otherwise empty room, closing the door behind him and gesturing for Luke to take a seat.
“Come on, Luke, I’m not an idiot,” Nico scoffs, “You’re pissed at me. You have been since you saw me with Talia back in our building, but you’ve got the wrong idea,”
“Your personal life is none of my business,” Luke says like it’s something he’s been taught, something he’s rehearsed, and there isn’t a doubt in Nico’s mind that he and Poppy have been the topic of conversation in the Hughes household since the day he had run into them, maybe even before. Jack has been avoiding the topic like he’d never seen it happen, giving Nico a breather where he had initially thought he would call him out - but it’s becoming increasingly clear that Luke is the actual confrontational one of the two of them.
“If you have something to say to me, I’d rather you just come out with it than check me in a practice game, Hughes.” Nico sighs, leaning against the door to block Luke’s path out and staring him down until he relents. He has never thought he would be thankful for someone checking him before, especially not in a practice game, but the minor hit has given him the perfect opportunity to clear the air.
“Fine. I don’t like how you treated Poppy,” he says, plainly, “She’s supposed to be your friend, you don’t do that to someone you care about.”
“Carry on.” Nico thinks a part of him is urging Luke to argue because Poppy won’t, and he needs to have someone he can vent to - even if it’s someone who won’t side with him. He probably prefers it that way, ever the glutton for punishment.
“If you didn’t like her the same way, you shouldn’t have led her on, she deserves better than that.”
“I agree.”
“And she-,” his eyes narrow, “You agree?”
“I didn’t break things off because I don’t like her the same way, I did it because I do,”
“I hope you understand how stupid that sounds.” Luke rolls his eyes as he throws himself into his cubby, running a hand through his curls in frustration.
“I know it might not make sense, but I’m trying to do what’s right. She deserves someone who can give her one hundred percent of themselves, who isn’t away all the time and isn’t constantly stressed out of their mind or too tired to function.” He finds himself relaying Talia’s exact sentiments, and the memory of that particular conversation makes his stomach churn. 
“I care about her too much to end up being the guy who can’t make her happy. I know you of all people understand that to some extent, Luke.” It’s one of the few flaws of making it to the elite level of their sport - the lack of balance between their career and their personal entanglements. They’ve both spent their lives wanting nothing but to win and succeed, and it’s always going to be difficult to come to terms with, but the cold, hard truth is that they can’t have everything without paying the price for it. Something will have to give, and it would be an injustice for that something to be Poppy. “It wouldn’t be fair to her to start something that I can’t put my all into. So, I agree, she deserves better.”
“You know what else she deserves, Nico?” Luke stands from his point on the bench, the inch between them seeming more than it really is when he’s dishing out home truths like punches to the gut. “She deserves to make her own decisions. She deserves for you to be honest with her and not let your ego get in the way of what she might want.”
There it is again. Luke letting on that he knows something he doesn’t about Poppy. Unease spreads throughout his every nerve ending.
He’s always been the one who knows Poppy. Who understands her. Who gets how she thinks and grasps how she feels. 
Luke might think he does, but he doesn’t. Not like Nico.
Nico, who can’t quite fathom how he’s ended up being schooled on how to treat a woman by a 20 year old. By Luke. 
“It isn’t ego,” he mutters in denial, but it’s no use. Luke is scarily prompt to retort - especially when it comes to defending Poppy, Nico knows by now. It would be endearing if it didn’t frustrate him to no end.
“Really? ‘Cause it sounds to me like you’re so afraid to fail with her that you won’t even try.”
“I don’t want to hurt her.” He knows again that’s a pathetic excuse. Poppy had called him out on it, herself. But surely the hurt now is nothing in comparison to the hurt that could be. 
The hurt that comes with the demise of an actual relationship. Of building and building and building something, putting in years of tiresome efforts only for it to be demolished just as the final brick is laid. Of the ever-growing love between the two of them wilting into something sad and lifeless.
He can take the silent treatment. He can take the avoidance.
He won’t be able to handle that.
“How’s that going for you?” 
Luke isn’t trying to be mean, he knows that, but it doesn’t lessen the sharpness of his words - the truth digging into the most sensitive parts of Nico’s skin so deep that he feels like he’s bleeding out.
Nico sits down himself, no longer blocking the exit and allowing for Luke to leave of his own accord - only, the younger boy sits beside him, heaving out a prologued sigh and giving his captain a friendly pat on his leg. 
“Just give her time, she’ll come around, and then the two of you can talk. And when you do, you owe it to her to be open about what you both want. If you can promise me you won’t do anything else to hurt her, I’ll promise you to stop checking you in practice.”
“Sounds fair,” Nico agrees, mustering up a weak smile to give to the younger defensemen before Luke stands up. “Sorry for cornering you.”
“You’re fine, I was being an idiot.” Luke shrugs, making his way over to the door, and only because he clearly can’t help himself, he stops before leaving. “You see how easy that was to admit?”
Nico usually has better aim, and he blames Luke’s speedy departure for the way the pad he throws hits the wall with a soft whack.
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Frustration is a feeling Nico doesn’t think he has ever been as familiar with as he has been lately. 
He’s frustrated as a player - the team unable to keep a winning streak to save their lives, having lost both of their games on the road last week and the mentality of the locker room dwindling with every week that passes that they don’t keep their momentum going.
Frustrated as a captain, specifically for the teammates they keep dropping to injury. Jack, Timo, Eric, Pally all dipping in and out with scratches, the roster dwindling with every passing game.
Frustrated as a friend, guilt building every time he thinks about Jack becoming more reserved in the days leading up to the All Star break, his shoulder putting him out of contention to play and the team having to send Jesper as their representative in his place. 
And, it goes without saying, frustrated when it comes to Poppy - who he had hoped would be in attendance when he had elected himself to take Jesper’s place at the signing and Q&A session he had scheduled at the end of the week. When he had come all the way out to the Rock and sought her out in the Foundation offices after volunteering, he had found out she had been off sick since that day in the auditorium, so his frustrations had crescendoed to an all time high. 
Even his parents being back in town hasn’t helped - his mother more observant than he likes to think, and she has been pecking away at any attempts of a cool exterior with more questions than he thinks he’s going to be on the receiving end of at this Q&A.
Nico has never been one to complain about any kind of community event, but the thought of having to spend all day plastering on a fake smile and pretending he isn’t at his boiling point is proving to be difficult.
So, when Jessica, the media admin who had been debriefing him on what was going to be posted on the team socials, had finally finished and had left to liaise with one of her colleagues, he had sent his mother, Katja, away to grab him a drink before the signing started. 
He just needs a moment of quiet. Where he can self-level the anxiety that is currently crushing him like a bug, take some deep breaths, and mentally prepare for the overwhelming social interactions he is about to endure. 
He wishes Poppy could be there.
He had tried texting her, just to check on her, but again, she hadn’t replied, and the thoughts have been swirling into something ugly within him the longer he has gone not knowing where or how she is.
Is she actually even sick, or is this just another attempt to stay out of his way?
The breathing clearly isn’t working, he thinks. Maybe walking might help.
Or maybe walking straight into the front of the girl who is the cause of all his frustrations might help.
As soon as he sees her, he feels guilt prick at his nerves like continuous, thick needles pushing into the flesh.
When he thinks back on the weeks before, he doesn’t entirely know if he had wanted her to look worse for wear, but as he takes her in now, he realises he hadn’t.
This is the furthest thing from what he had wanted for her.
Poppy stands before him a paler version of herself - eyes sunken, lips chapped, a slight sheen to her forehead that has caused the baby hairs around there to curl up and stick to her skin. 
Her boss Elaine had said she was sick and he had selfishly spiralled into the assumption it was just another attempt to avoid any contact him, but now his chest feels heavy with a mixture of shame and worry.
She takes a moment too long to gather herself after their initial collision, and his words feel heavy in his mouth as he asks, “Are you okay?”
“What are you doing here?” Her voice is hoarse, and the way she blinks up at him is slow and fatigued. 
“What are you doing here? You don’t look like you should be working.”
“I’m fine.” She definitely doesn’t sound fine. “Where’s Jesper?
“Bratter went to Toronto to take Jack’s place in the All Stars, they didn’t tell you?” It hadn’t been a last minute decision, so he isn’t sure how she wouldn’t know already.
“Oh,” she frowns, and if he wasn’t so worried, he’d find it cute how she looks like she’s trying to recall a memory where that information had been relayed to her. “Yeah, I think they did. They didn’t tell me who’s replacing him, though.”
“That would be me.” He doesn’t point out that it should be obvious.
“That seems like overkill.” There’s a hint of familiarity that he feels at the quip, and Nico doesn’t know if she’s trying to crack a joke or trying to be rude - he doesn��t care, either way. When he notices her squinting against the light, he subtly shifts until she’s no longer facing it directly.
“I volunteered.” He admits, and he watches as realisation sinks in. He volunteered just to be near her, and if she calls him out on it, he’s in no fit state to deny it. Of course he did, she has barely spoken to him in almost 4 weeks, and if he’s being honest with himself, he’s losing his mind a little. “I was hoping we could talk after,”
“Nico,” she sighs, touching her palm to her temple and seemingly applying pressure, pinching her eyes shut as she tries to breathe through a wave of what looks like disorientation, “I really can’t deal with this today,”
“I miss you, Poppy,” he hums, and he knows it’s an asshole move, to take advantage of the current situation, of her being sick and having lowered her defences, but he knows he’ll regret it if he doesn’t take the opportunity to touch her. He tucks a strand of hair behind her ear, strokes a thumb softly at her cheek, and tries not to think too much about the way she seems to lean into it. “I’m worried about you.”
“You’re supposed to be giving me space.” She sounds defeated, and there’s a selfish part of him that hopes she is - that she is relenting to his advances and giving in - but he knows Poppy too well to assume it’s going to be that easy.
He doesn’t even like to think about how much he has hurt her. When images of that evening flash through his memory - when he closes his eyes and sees her teary ones looking back at him, can hear how she’d fought for him to listen, to figure things out together - his chest aches in a way he doesn’t think it has before. It’s relentless, and excruciating, and he hasn’t yet found a coping mechanism that gets rid of it.
Except for seeing her. When he sees her, it lessens. When he hears her laugh from around a corner, or spots her in the halls at The Rock, talking with her co-workers or perusing one of the vending machines, he can pretend he’s okay. He can pretend that they’re just not talking because they’re both busy - not because he monumentally messed everything up with her.
And now, talking directly to her, touching her, seeing her up close - despite the difference in her usually bright complexion - he can convince himself of the same. Things are okay. They’re okay.
“I also said I still wanted to be friends.” He tries, his hand still cupping the side of her face before she shakes him off.
“Except that we’re only friends when it suits you.” She accuses with a frown, a little energy seeming to flood back into her system. “And when it doesn’t, you just toss me off to the side like I mean nothing to you.”
“That’s not true, I-,”
“I really don’t feel well enough to be having this conversation right now.”
“Then when? Every time I see you, you can’t get away fast enough. We work together, we have to see each other, you can’t avoid me forever.” He knows he doesn’t deserve to rush her. He knows he has no right to be making any kind of demands, and that the situation they’re in is entirely his doing, but he can’t help himself.
He’s frustrated.
He’s desperate. 
He had thought he could give her the patience she deserves - the space she needs - but it has been proving immensely difficult, and he just wants her back.
In whatever capacity she’s willing to offer, he’ll take it - as long as her eyes meet his for longer than a second at a time and he gets to be on the receiving end of one of her heart-stopping smiles, he’ll take it.
Even if they can’t be what they were. If the texts cease, the dinners together stop, the drives home from the Rock aren’t on the table anymore - he just wants to know there’s still love between them. That when she looks at him she doesn’t only feel the crippling hurt he fears he has caused her.
“You had no problem shutting me out the last time,” she scoffs, crossing her arms over her chest and scowling up at him, “It should be like second nature for you to ignore me again.”
“That isn’t fair, it’s not the same-,”
“Poppy!” 
Nico has always loved the way his mother is enamoured by Poppy.
The first time they had met, she’d been besotted with her. It had been during Poppy’s first year with the team - his parents had come out quite late in the season, late enough that he hadn’t seen them in a while since the summer, and he was anticipating their arrival with child-like excitement. 
Their flight into Newark had been delayed, and with them coming out on a game day, he was shut in the locker room by the time they had arrived, and he had asked Poppy for his biggest favour yet in the course of their friendship.
She had agreed to it no questions asked, no favour held over him in return, and she had pretty much hosted the two of them from their arrival at the Prudential Center to when the arena had emptied.
When Nico had reunited with his parents in the family lounge, Poppy had still been with them, waiting until she saw them off into their son’s company before leaving them alone, and he had never been more grateful to someone in his life.
“Sorry to keep you waiting,” he had apologised as he embraced his father, a firm clap coming down on his back as his arms wrapped around him, and he had smiled at Poppy over his shoulder. “Did you guys enjoy the game?”
“Of course we did, we had the best company in all of New Jersey,” his mother had her own arm around his best friend, Poppy’s cheeks flushing as she smiled bashfully back at him. 
Nico had kissed his mom on the cheek and had given her a side hug with the arm not around Poppy before he moved his attention to his friend.
“Thank you for looking after them,” he beamed at her, wrapping his arms around her once his mother had released and giving her a little squeeze. “I owe you,”
“That’s alright. Your dad got a little rowdy in the second period, but other than that they weren’t too much trouble,” Poppy had shrugged, a mischievous smirk cast toward his father who gave a humoured scoff in return.
“You were yelling louder than me, Poppy,” he remarked, his accent thick and his tone fond. “Katja tell him.”
“Oh, don’t worry,” Nico chuckled, shaking his head toward his mom as she opened her mouth ready to pick a side, “I believe him, she gets creative when it comes to calling out the refs, I’ve heard it before.”
“Sorry for being passionate about my team,” she had pouted, “I’ll just sit in silence while you all get high-sticked to holy heaven next time.”
Nico had felt warmth wash all over him when he heard his dad’s loud cackle of a laugh - the kind he gave over family game nights when Nina outsmarted both her brothers, and they would turn to their father for some kind of defence, the kind of laughter filled with familiarity and affection - and had seen his mother’s crinkling eyes and dimpled smile.
“Do you need a ride home?” He had asked, swallowing down the attraction that was spiralling within him before it was too obvious to ignore. They had rode in together that morning, and he would usually drive her home if that was the case, but he had also promised his parents he would treat them to a nice meal after their long flight in.
“I’m alright, I can hitch a ride with one of the other boys,” Poppy declined, “You guys enjoy your dinner, it was really nice to meet you.”
“Nonsense,” Katja had exclaimed, a hand on Poppy’s arm as she moved to hug her goodbye, “Come with us, Nico can drop you home after,”
“We’ve been dying to hear someone tell us all of Nico’s secrets about his life over here.” Rino had joined in, egging Poppy on until she couldn’t say no.
When she had looked over to Nico, he hadn’t realised she was silently asking for his permission, too busy looking at her with a dopey grin on his face before he pulled himself together enough to nod his approval.
“Okay, yeah, thank you,” Poppy had agreed, “I just have to grab my bag from the office, I could meet you at your car in five minutes?”
“Yeah, I’ll see you in five.”
Nico had watched her go off as his mother looped her arm through his, leaning into him and watching Poppy until she disappeared through the far doors. 
“I like her,” Katja had a big, complimentary grin on her face when Nico looked down a little at her - and despite slipping into their native tongue, Nico had thought it would be obvious to anyone listening in what they were talking about just from the look on his mother’s face.
“Yeah, she’s great,” He had concurred, shaking her off his arm so that he could wrap it around her shoulders as they walked, and in a true show of his denial at the time, he had added, “A really good friend.”
He still remembers the sound of his mother’s knowing hum, that interaction between the four of them a catalyst for the feelings he had for the longest time suppressed.
Weeks ago, Poppy had asked him the last time he had wanted to kiss her. He’d told her about a night in a bar after the team had crashed out of the playoffs last year. A night where, in all the anguish and misery and regret, she had made him feel like he could breathe again. It was the last time he had felt overwhelmed by the urge to take the leap into something more with her.
The first time had been that night with his parents, when he’d dropped her back at her apartment after an evening of them oversharing embarrassing childhood anecdotes and Poppy sharing her own stories - ones she had of her favourite memories with Nico, and even ones without, letting his mom and dad into the strongroom that was her life before she met their son. 
Looking back, he thinks that night truly would have been a catalyst for his blossoming affections if he didn’t feel the watchful gaze of his parents waiting in his car while he made sure Poppy got inside safe.
He would have kissed her, he knows it.
Instead, he had returned to the driver’s seat and tried to ignore the smug grin his mother kept sending through the rearview mirror from her place in the back seat the whole journey to their hotel.
In the years since, her affections for Poppy have only grown, and so he should have expected that she would get excited the second she saw her - he only wishes her timing was better.
“Hi, Mrs Hischier” Poppy smiles despite her discomfort, the apples of her cheeks rounding and endearment sparkling in her previously dull eyes. The energy she gives to his mother is a stark contrast to that she had just been giving to Nico. “It’s so nice to see you!”
“It’s Katja, sweet girl, it’s clearly been too long since we have spoken!” His mother’s arms wrap around her, and he watches as Poppy’s body seems to melt at the touch, tense muscles relaxing and hand rubbing at her back. “Please don’t take this the wrong way, but you don’t look too good, are you feeling okay?”
She presses the back of her hand to Poppy’s clammy forehead as Nico remembers her doing so often to him as a child, gauging her temperature and casting a concerned glance over her from head to toe. 
“I’m alright, I’ve just been off sick the past week, I still probably look a little like a zombie,” Poppy chuckles, dismissively, still maintaining an eyre of warmth in the way she looks at his mother.
“Not at all, as pretty as ever, isn’t she, Nico?” His mom nudges him as if he needs any prompting to compliment her.
“Yeah,” he agrees without hesitation, and he starts to feel palpitations when her eyes glance quickly over to meet his before darting away.
“You’re a terrible liar,” Poppy huffs, and he doesn’t entirely know who she meant that for. “Did you and Rino enjoy your trip to Canada?”
Nico doesn’t know why he finds himself surprised by the way Poppy effortlessly recollects the information - a throwaway comment he had made to her in the back of that bar all those weeks ago of his parent’s whereabouts. Poppy remembers because she cares. She has always cared. Always listened to what he has to say, even if he thinks it’s irrelevant, and has always shown interest. 
He finds himself watching her as she catches up with his mother, giving tired smiles but engaging nonetheless, the conversation flowing between the two of them just as effortlessly as it had on the day they had met - where they had conversed over dinner like they had known each other for years, and Nico had blushed every time he met his mother’s eyes from across the table.
He remembers his birthday dinner with his family at the beginning of the month, where he had sat in mostly-silence and wished for her company, and he starts to wonder if it’s always going to be like that, from now on. 
If he’s always going to be longing for her. If he’s always going to feel like something’s missing if she isn’t around.
“I should go,” he hears her say, “I have to check some of the questions with the moderator and they’ll be opening the doors for the signing, soon.”
“Of course, don’t let me keep you,” his mom presses a comforting hand to Poppy’s arm, thumb rubbing in a soothing gesture before they part with goodbyes and a promise to catch up, properly, at some point. 
Nico doesn’t miss the way she hadn’t given him the same courtesy. And neither does his mother.
Her eyes narrow in his direction, and just as her lips part to no doubt call him out, a figure comes up beside them,
“They’re ready to start the signing if you are, Nico.” Jessica’s unusually perky voice rings out beside him, and he’s never been more thankful for an interruption in his life.
He hasn’t seen that disappointed glint in his mother’s eyes since he’d told her he was bringing a girlfriend home to meet her at the end of last summer, and had shown up to the house with Talia in tow.
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Poppy
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As backwards as it might seem to some people, the only part of Poppy’s life where she is able to seek complete solace in recent years has always been in her work.
When she had first gotten her job within the organisation - a co-op internship that covered her final year of college - she had been almost overwhelmed with pride for the first time in her life. She had always been a good student, had got into college of her own merit and hadn’t used family connections like she suspected her brother had done, and she had worked her butt off to prep for the application and interview.
And when she’d gotten the call to tell her they wanted her on the team, she had been over the moon.
She’d gotten along so well with the people she had met in the team so far, had loved their ethos and the environment at the Rock, and she couldn’t wait to build something great for herself when she got started.
She had immediately called home after accepting the position, buzzing with excitement to tell her father that she of all the alleged thousands of applicants had been accepted to work on the media programme for the New Jersey Devils, a respected establishment in one of the biggest sporting leagues in the country. She had expected he would be proud of her, too, but he had ended up heaving out a disappointed sigh, and she could hear him fold up his paper in the background before he had asked, “Hockey, Poppy? Really? What kind of success do you expect to find in such a barbaric environment?”
As much as his disapproval had hurt at that time, she credits her father’s aloofness with her happiness in her role to this day.
It turns out, she can find a lot of success in a barbaric environment if she puts enough of her heart into it.
Even back in her media days, acting as a lackey for some of the more senior guys and trudging through those first few months of hazing, she had loved her job. 
Sharing insights into the team and the sport, determined to break any stigma associated with the guys who played it and all while highlighting the way it brought pride and community to her home state, she left the building every day with a pep in her step and a giant grin on her face.
And it only got bigger when she was recruited onto the Youth Foundation team. The projects she has worked on, the people she has met, the incredible things they have all achieved together - she doesn’t think she could have gotten any luckier with her career - despite what her judgemental, uppity parents think of it.
So, when things get hard elsewhere - when she spends a little too much time with her family and goes a little stir crazy, or when she gets her heart broken by the one guy she had trusted to handle it with care, and ends up fixating on the possibility of him rekindling things with a woman he had told Poppy didn’t make him happy - she resorts to her factory settings of knuckling down and putting her work first.
Which is how, in the weeks since Nico had left her apartment that horrific night, she has attached her name to every project she can pick up. She has accepted every meeting, answered every call, returned every email, all with a smile she had felt like she was forcing at first, but has started to feel real as time has gone one.
And she thinks it’s working.
She doesn’t dread coming into the Arena - doesn’t pace the length of her office to prepare herself every time she needs to leave it, doesn’t hold her breath as she turns the corners in anticipation of seeing him, doesn’t wince every time someone knocks on her door until they pop their head in and reveal themselves.
Poppy has well and truly immersed herself in her work, and she can’t even feel the rattling of the shattered pieces of her heart anymore.
She’s too consumed with other stuff. With hockey clinics, planning fundraisers, local rink openings, development programmes, the Sweep The Deck gala, mentoring sessions, preparations for the Stadium Series in the next month. 
She should be exhausted. 
If she actually gives herself the brain power to think about anything other than work for a second, she probably would be - but she’s turned into a hammerhead shark of sorts, and she knows she’ll suffocate in all the other feelings if she stops swimming. 
If she gives even a second of her time to the constant urge to think about Nico, she’ll drown in him. In the hurt and the ache she feels when he’s even in the same room.
She has taken to pretending he isn’t there. To looking at others, immersing herself too deep in conversations that he won’t dare to interrupt, and she is actually satisfied with how she’s managed to hold herself together when it comes to the rest of the guys.
When the season had started last year, and Poppy had been avoiding Nico for the other reason over the course of those months, she had pretty much locked herself in her office during work hours, and had stayed home outside of them. She didn’t go to games, didn’t go to team events that she wasn’t working, didn’t attend birthdays or dinners or celebration trips to whatever bar could accommodate the whole team for the night. She had had stopped engaging as much with the other guys - Jack had even taken to calling her a recluse if she remembers correctly - and she’s determined not to let this mess get in the way of the great relationships she has with the rest of the guys. 
If not for the fact that it would be petulant for her to take out her frustrations regarding their captain with them, then for the fact that she needs the companionship.
She needs it so much that she doesn’t run from it, or even pretend like she doesn’t like their company. 
Weeks ago, if she had been coming up from the parking level with Nate Bastian, and he had tried to crack the joke, “Hey, Poppy, why are elevator jokes the best kind? Because they work on many levels,” she honestly would have scoffed and called him lame. But she had felt her lips twitching earlier in the day, and had let him boast about how he had made her smile as they walked together through the building to anyone they passed without even denying it.
The guys have been doing more for her mentality than she can ever thank them for - holding her up while her every instinct is telling her to crumble - and she couldn’t be more grateful to be a part of such a great team.
The Hughes brothers, especially. Luke, who texts her his every rambling thought sandwiched between memes and links to Tiktoks about giraffes, because he knows they make her smile. And Jack, who, despite being out of play with his shoulder, still, checks in with her every day he comes in, a drink in hand when she needs a pick me up the most, and an ever growing list of ridiculous names to call her. 
His continued visits have made her grow less weary of the knocks at her door, and so when one echoes through the room as she’s replying to some emails, she doesn’t feel the stutter of her heartbeat like she would have done last week.
“Hey, Pop,” he pokes his head into her office, fingers flexed around the door jamb as he edges his way in, empty handed, this time, but Poppy can’t hold it against him. Her day is almost finished, after all.
“What, no stupid nickname today? Did I upset you or something?” She pauses typing as she looks up at him, watching him close the door behind himself as he takes her lighthearted tone as an invitation inside.
“I did have a joke lined up about Snap and Crackle, but you’ve ruined it now actually,” he rolls his eyes playfully, throwing himself down in the chair opposite hers and flicking affectionately at his bobblehead. 
“Sorry,” Poppy gives a quick, bashful smile before going back to her work, tapping away at her noisy keyboard as she works her way through her inbox, “What’s up?”
“Was wondering if you’d seen Luke?”
“Not today, he doesn’t usually make a habit of coming down here though. Did he say he was gonna stop by?”
“Not exactly.” Jack frowns, a slight shrug of his better shoulder.
Poppy casts a confused glance his way, eyes narrowing as she watches him fidget in the seat. “Do you guys think the y chromosome is meant to get you out of ever giving a straight answer to something? What do you mean, not exactly?”
“Well, Dawsy said he’d seen him with Nico, and lately that means,” he looks as if he’s weighing up what to say in his head, and Poppy wishes the lower part of her desk didn’t block her legs from his so she could give him a quick kick to the shin, “Well, people usually come straight here after Nico pulls them to talk.”
She sighs.
She had figured as much, but the confirmation of it doesn’t make her heart ache any less.
She’d had her first suspicions when Smitty had shown her every picture she thinks he’s ever taken of his kids the other day. He’d sat beside her in the lounge while the team and staff had been waiting for some sort of safety meeting - one she hadn’t even got to focus much on because he had talked her ear off for almost an hour until he was finally pulled away for some other responsibilities. 
And then Jonas had come by her office - something he had literally never done before. He had found Poppy working on a project, brainstorming with post-its on her cleared floor, and had waited around until she had finished - chipping in little ideas here and there for a presentation on the Learn To Play programme and using his 6’2 stature to take an aerial photo of all her sticky notes that Poppy never would have been able to get right, enabling her to clean them away and tidy up after herself before she finished for that day. It wasn’t that she minded his company, he’d actually been a massive help, but she had this nagging feeling that he would never come see her of his own volition.
Then there was Holtzy and Dawson volunteering for the hockey clinic in the debrief earlier like they were being held at gunpoint and forced into labour.
Nico has put them all up to it.
Even when he’s giving her space, he can’t leave her be.
“So what you’re saying is he’s abusing his position of power to get you all to come talk to me,”
“I don’t know if I’d phrase it like that,” Jack scratches awkwardly at the back of his neck, and she only feels a slight pinch of guilt. She knows he had a habit of coming to see her before all of this, but his visits have definitely increased over the past few weeks - so, he isn’t entirely innocent, either. “Maybe he misses you?”
“Maybe he should have thought about that,” she mutters, leaning onto her desk and pressing her palms into her closed eyes to relieve the headache that’s starting to build. 
Distracting herself with work had been going so well.
“You know we can’t talk about this, Jack,” she sighs, “He’s your captain, it’s not fair of me to vent about our situation to you of all people.”
“Ouch,”
“You know what I mean. If it was anybody else, I’d come to you for advice, but you guys are a team, I’m just-,”
“Don’t finish that sentence, Poppy,” Jack rebukes, sitting up straight in his chair and levelling her with a stern look, “You’re our friend. Even if Nico is asking the others to check up on you, they wouldn’t do it if they didn’t care about you. None of us want a repeat of the start of the season, okay, we just want to know you’re alright.”
“I appreciate you saying that,” Poppy gives a weak smile, the kind that doesn’t quite meet her eyes, “I just don’t want anybody taking sides, I know Luke’s been off with him about the whole thing,”
“That’s probably where he is now,” Jack realises, “He did get a little rough in practice before.”
“Yeah, I heard,” she says, knowing Luke and Nico had a collision earlier that had been the talk of the office all morning. “Look, I love you guys for it, but I don’t need babysitters. I just wanna move on. And you can tell Nico that, the next time he tries to force you out here with.another iced beverage just to keep me company or whatever.”
“Well, they go on the road tomorrow, so you should get some peace and quiet around here.” Jack still seems solemn at the thought of the team travelling anywhere without him, but she has tried one too many times to talk to him about it and, every time, he has shut her down. He’ll talk about it when he’s ready, and if she’s making a point of not wanting to be pushed on a subject, she isn’t going to do the same to him, even if her instincts are telling her to wrap the guy up in a bear hug and tell him everything will be okay. “I’ll leave you to your work, anyway, I’ll be around until the weekend if you need me, Pop. I promise I would be bringing you drinks even if he wasn’t asking me to.”
He pushes himself up from the seat with his good side before retreating back towards the door, and Poppy can’t let him go without at least attempting to cheer him up. He never usually leaves this quick, always finds some reason to hover and affectionately irritate her just a little - but she can tell he’s done figuring out reasons to linger around the arena for the day.
“I would have laughed, by the way,” she calls out to him, causing him to pause half way out and look back, a questioning brow arched her way. “Snap, Crackle and Pop would have been a good one, it’s funny.”
“They’re all funny, Poppy.”
She really is losing her mind.
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As if the universe is playing some gigantic, cruel joke on her, Poppy’s promised peace and quiet while the team have gone on the road has turned into her shut in her apartment with every single curtain drawn, wrapped up under a mountain of covers to combat the shivers, and a leg poking out of them to alleviate the hot flushes - all while battling the most crippling waves of nausea she has ever experienced in all of her adult life.
She had gone home from work on Wednesday and had invited Nia around, hoping her best friend’s anger around the Nico situation had dwindled enough that she wasn’t going to harp on about it all night, and they could enjoy some movies and dirty takeout like they were back in college without Poppy having to even think about anything else.
Uptown Girls had been playing on the TV, empty containers of Korean Hot Pot had littered her coffee table, and Nia had fallen asleep sprawled out across the couch when Poppy had first started to feel off.
She had been watching Brittany Murphy and Dakota Fanning swirling around in the teacup ride, and had started to feel like her own living room was spinning.
She had barely made it to her bathroom before she was puking her guts up, waking Nia in the process who had spent the next hour holding her hair back before she tucked her into bed.
Poppy had called in to work the next morning. She had missed even watching the game against Carolina, could barely remember a solid half an hour of consciousness between that Wednesday night and Saturday morning.
All she remembers is vomiting, Nia checking in after work, bringing an abundance of electrolyte drinks and trying to get her to eat before she had to leave again She recalls burning bagels she had forgot she had left in the toaster, vomiting again at the smell of the burned bagels, and having a series of the most absurdly vivid dreams she’s ever experienced in her life. 
All of which had one common theme.
Nico.
Dreams where she’s swimming in a large, unidentifiable body of water. It’s cold, and she is exhausted, and her limbs ache from treading water and trying to stay afloat. It’s mostly dark, sometimes lit by the moon, the reflection of which shimmers in her path to something in the distance. And she’s stretching, reaching out, desperately kicking her legs to get to whatever it is until she realises it’s him, and he’s swimming away, making it a thousand times harder on her.
Dreams of her stood at the door of her apartment, the repeated knock on the other side echoing on and on as she scrambles to look for the keys to unlock it. It’s a pattern she thinks she recognises, a rhythmic knock that only he has used before, but she can’t get the door open with all her might, and her keys are nowhere to be seen. 
Dreams of their fated night together, only this time it’s like she’s on the outside looking in, watches the two of them in the throes of passion, only when she takes a proper look, he isn’t into it like she is. Or there’s another version where she isn’t herself at all. She has much lighter hair, and mutters out profanities in German as Nico presses sweet kisses into her lips and cradles her face lovingly. She’s Talia, and he looks as happy as ever when she is.
Despite the almost 3 days of round the clock sleep, she has never felt so exhausted in her life.
When the nausea fades ever so slightly, and she gets enough strength in herself to get up - to eat, to drink, to function like a normal human being, she feels sluggish and weak, and like she hasn’t had a moment’s rest in months.
Nia had been checking in, surprisingly not sick herself even though Poppy assumes her bug came from the takeout they shared - but Nia is vegetarian, so she had thought that might have explained it. She had been making sure Poppy remained hydrated, and continued to eat despite the continuous waves of nausea that kept coming back. She had done her grocery shopping, stocking her refrigerator with a bunch of different juices and smoothies, and buying her a bunch of fresh fruit, some bread, some yoghurts, pasta, crackers, plain chips, all the things that would hopefully keep her energy up and her nausea down.
And it had taken her a week to recover to a point that she felt like she could work again. She probably shouldn’t have forced herself back when she wasn’t feeling, or looking, 100%, but she had become so used to using her job as a coping mechanism, that regaining the slightest bit of her energy had her spiralling a little mentally, and she couldn’t take being at home any longer.
She had known that Jesper had his Q&A event, and had to stop by the Rock to pick up some of her files before making her way over - but that trip had proved to be more trouble than it was worth, and she had ended up getting herself all mixed up when she had returned to her office and had ended up dry heaving in the bathrooms when she caught a mix of smells walking through the hallway on her way in.
She had wanted to get some prep work done - approve the questions, meet with the photographers, catch up with Jess from Media, but she had ended up hurled over the toilet bowl for a good hour until she felt somewhat better, and was in so much of a rush to get over to the event that all she had managed to do to pull herself together was throw her hair up and hope that chomping on a breath mint wouldn’t trigger her senses all over again. 
She felt like she was fresh out of The Walking Dead.
She had to get an Uber over, had sat with her head out of the window like some kind of dog to alleviate the sweat that had broken out from her rushing around, and by the time she made it - she was so out of sorts she barely could remember why she was there.
And then she had bumped into Nico.
And she hates that she had felt a little better.
She hates that she found comfort in the fresh smell of his cologne, or the soft touch of his hand to her skin. She hates that the sound of his voice had quelled the rapid thumping of her heartbeat, and that it felt so good just to be in his presence, she had almost forgotten how much she had been hurt. How much he had hurt her.
She hates how she had felt obliged to pretend everything was okay in front of his mother, the sweetest woman on planet Earth embracing her like she was her own daughter, wrapping her up in a shroud of worry and sheer maternal instinct.
And she hates how all of those feelings have lingered throughout the afternoon. As she had watched him engage with his fans during his signing, big dimpled smiles sent to tiny children drowning in jerseys way too big for their small frames, and all adorning his number on the back. As she had watched Katja as the event unfolded, eyes sparkling with pride for her son and everything he has accomplished. As she’s stood and watched him answer questions she knows the answers to like she knows her own favourite food.
Where is your dream vacation destination?
He wants to visit Costa Rica.
What is your favourite sport outside of hockey?
He loves Tennis, loves Roger Federer, a real idol for him as a kid growing up in Switzerland, but also loves soccer, which he always says with an uncomfortable twist to his lips, because his father used to play.
What does he miss the most about home?
His family. His siblings. She probably knows more about Nina and Luca than she knows about Oliver, at this point.
“What’s your favourite thing to do in Jersey when you’re not playing hockey?”
“Uhh,” Poppy watches as Nico rolls his shoulders, his face pensive as he ponders the question, “It depends when we get time off. If the weathers nice, Jersey has some nice beaches, sometimes we go in a group and hang out,” he answers, and just before he carries on, his eyes flicker over to Poppy, meeting hers and holding her gaze until she looks away. “But if it’s when we’re playing I try to spend any downtime with friends. I have some really great friends here and I think that helps me destress a little, just being around them, going out for food and drinks and stuff. Some of my favourite people I have met while I’ve been living here.”
Poppy doesn’t dare look back up, her pulse throbbing in her temples.
“Well that’s a perfect segue into the next question, who’s your best friend on the team?”
She doesn’t stick around to listen to him skirt around that answer, pushing herself discretely through the doors back into the room that the signing had taken place in and busying herself packing up what she can without any help. 
She needs to carry on working, needs to stop thinking, needs to stop feeling so many things. Needs to be somewhere else, where she can’t look at him, can’t admire the way the deep brown of his irises shine when he smiles, or how one of his eyebrows does that cute little hop when he speaks for a little too long, or how she thinks she can still feel his hand on her face even though it’s been at least a good couple of hours since they had spoken by now.
She doesn’t realise how quick she’s moving around until the room starts to spin, and she stumbles a little into a table before steadying herself on one of the chairs.
“Hey, Poppy, are you alright?” The words are spoken in an accent she’s always found comforting, only the voice is different. Softer. Feminine.
She looks up to see Nico’s mom moving closer, concern causing her eyes to go round and her brows to furrow, and the soft, gentle touch of her hand to Poppy’s arm has her stuttering in her response.
“Y-yeah,” she breathes, “Just got a little dizzy.”
“Are you sure, do you need to sit down?”
“I’m okay, honestly,” she smiles, despite the way Katja’s warm, caring eyes mirror those of her son and make Poppy’s chest ache just a little. “I haven’t really eaten much today, I just got a little lightheaded, I’ll be fine once we’re done here and I can go home and eat.”
“Here,” Katja reaches into her purse, digging around before she pulls out some sort of granola bar, “I got this for a snack on my flight and didn’t eat it, you can have it to keep you going.”
Poppy can hardly decline the motherly gesture, and takes the snack with a thank you before unwrapping it and taking a cautious bite. She probably isn’t doing herself any favours, the nausea creeping up when she chews on a bit of dried fruit, and the unexpected flavour immediately triggers her stomach. She’s been sticking to crackers and dry toast, and hasn’t really eaten anything sweet in a week - the combination of the fruit and the syrupy coating making her feel so uneasy she has to sit down. 
“You’re still sick?” Katja sits beside her, watching over her in the way only a loving mother could, concern etched upon her beautiful features and a tilted head examining Poppy from head to toe. 
“I usually shift bugs a lot quicker than this, but I think the not being able to eat and the exhaustion is making everything worse.”
“You aren’t sleeping, either?”
“Technically I might be sleeping too much.” Poppy takes another bite, trying to put her mind over the matter, knowing that it should actually make her feel well enough to get through the rest of the event to have something in her belly. “But I keep having these crazy dreams, and they’re so vivid that I don’t feel rested at all when I wake up, even if I got enough hours in. Then I just feel anxious and it makes me more tired.”
Katja nods understandingly, a knowing smile plucking at her lips until her cheeks dimple, just like Nico’s do. “How many weeks?”
“Have I been sick?” Poppy asks, too busy trying to ignore the sickly sweet flavour on her tongue to notice the woman sat beside her shaking her head, “Just last week. I think it was bad takeout or something, combined with work stress probably-,”
“How many weeks are you into your pregnancy, Poppy?” She chuckles, a gentle hand placed on Poppy’s lap. “You don’t have to pretend to me.”
“My-,” Poppy covers her mouth as she swallows a hardly-chewed bit of granola, “I’m not-,” she struggles a little with her words, cringing at the way she can feel it going down her throat, and clears it with an awkward cough when she can, “Pregnancy?”
“Oh Goodness, I’m sorry,” Katja’s eyes widen in alarm, the hand on Poppy’s knee squeezing apologetically, “I just thought, the dreams, the sickness, the exhaustion, that’s how it started for me with all 3 of my children.”
“Oh.” At least she isn’t the only person Nico has ever caused to have such torturous dreams, she thinks. “No, I’ve just had a bug, I’m pretty sure it’s gonna clear up,” she says, her voice much smaller as she continues to speak through trembling lips, continues to grow more unsure of her words as something akin to dread settles in the pit of her stomach. “And this is like the aftershocks of being sick, or something, one last hurrah for the germs.”
“Of course,” Katja nods, giving Poppy’s knee a comforting rub before placing her hands on her own lap, a sheepish look given as she makes eye contact, the same dark eyes she’s been dreaming about looking right at her. “I would never usually assume, I swear you don’t look it, it was just my first thought when you mentioned the sleep. It just took me right back, my pregnancies were all like that. Heavy sickness, exhaustion, even in my bones I felt tired, and the dreams were crazy, especially with Nico, it was like full movies playing out in my head every night for the whole 9 months.”
“I never knew that was a thing.” Poppy has obviously heard of morning sickness. She’s heard of expectant mothers being exhausted, their bodies worn out from the oh-so-minor task of creating life, but she hadn’t ever heard anyone talk about dreams being an indicator of pregnancy.
“Babies make your body do crazy things.” She gives a reminiscent chuckle, and Poppy notices her lose herself a little in the memory, warm eyes melting with the recollection. “But at least you don’t have to worry about that.”
“Right.” The empty swallow Poppy takes next hurts more than the granola had before, the scratch of the cereal a minor irritation in comparison to the lump currently forming there. “What other symptoms did you have?”
“At the start, food was my enemy. Rino used to have to make me smoothies to get all my vitamins in. You wouldn’t think with the appetite my boys had growing up that they would have made me fear eating so much, but it was bad. I always envied the women who just had a little morning sickness.”
Poppy feels her eyes well up - more so at the way Katja’s eyes glint with pride and love when she talks about her family than anything else. It’s beautiful. Even recalling how sick her babies had made her, Poppy can tell from the look on her face that her pregnancies brought her unadulterated joy.
She remembers when Oliver’s wife, Kimberley, had been pregnant with their first son. They had lived in Jersey, still, back then, and family dinners were a staple every Friday night. They were all sat around the dining table back at the Jensen house, and Kimberley, God bless her, had misguidedly asked Priscilla what her pregnancies were like. 
“Hell.” Poppy’s mom had said, sipping at her wine and looking over the glass at Oliver with a measured glare. “He gave me uneven breasts and dry skin,”
“Mom,” Oliver had grunted in disgust, a protective hand reaching out to take hold of his wife’s.
“And she,” Priscilla gave an accusatory point in Poppy’s direction, “Gave me thin hair and postnatal depression. But she evened my breasts back out, so there’s a silver lining, I suppose.”
Kimberley hasn’t made the same mistake of seeking motherly advice since then. 
“And Nina made me have super-human scent, I could smell things from floors away.”
Poppy can barely look at her anymore.
After she’d spoken to Nico when he’d turned up before, she could still smell him from across the room. And she hadn’t been able to step foot in the common area in her office when she’d dropped by to pick up her files earlier, thinking she could smell someone’s microwaved food and feeling like she was about to vomit. She has only been able to nibble at dry crackers all week just to avoid eating or smelling anything that would set her off.
But that’s the bug, right? She’s been sluggish, she’s been tired, running hot all week, and her body has constantly ached, especially-
“I should get all this stuff packed up,” Poppy shoots up from her seat, thankfully able to suppress the dizziness. “I think I feel better, thank you so much for keeping me company.”
She shouldn’t hope so much that she isn’t being rude, shouldn’t expect or want Katja to hold her to high esteem, but she finds herself cringing at her quick subject change, and caring a little too much that it will make her think less of her.
Her son doesn’t want her to be a part of his life in that way, Poppy thinks, so it shouldn’t matter what Katja feels about her. Not anymore.
“That’s okay, Poppy, thank you for listening to me reminisce. It was nice. Nico usually gets too embarrassed for me to talk about stuff like this.” Katja follows Poppy up, mirroring her to help her pack up the rest of the merchandise that hadn’t been bought or signed.
“I don’t think he could ever be embarrassed by you.” Poppy chuckles despite herself, defending him like it’s second nature, even though she knows Katja wasn’t trying to put him down in the first place. He’s her son, for crying out loud, Poppy thinks, she doesn’t need some random girl he works with acting like she knows him any better than his own mother. “He probably just doesn’t want to think about ever making you uncomfortable, even as a foetus or whatever.”
Katja gives that same knowing smile she had worn just before turning Poppy’s world upside down mere minutes ago. The smile that would be patronising on anyone else, but the warmth in her eyes holds nothing but understanding and appreciation.
“He’s a sweet boy,” she remarks, proudly, “I never thought of It like that."
“Yeah, you raised a gentleman for sure.” Poppy had considered that it would feel more like a lie when the thought had come to her head, but as the words leave her mouth, she finds comfort in them.
Despite how much he had hurt her, she still knows Nico’s heart. She knows he cares deeply, knows he is selfless and warm, and loves with everything in him. He just doesn’t love her - not how she wants him to, at least - but she can’t hold that against him forever.
The words weigh a little heavier when the situation dawns on her, but she tries not to get ahead of herself. Not again.
She can’t be pregnant. That’s insane. 
And she can’t rack her brain trying to remember if either of them had protected themselves with his mom sat right in front of her, she knows for a fact she can’t suppress the heat that rises up her neck at the memory - she may as well wave a gigantic flag that reads Hey, I had sex with your son!
“We’re heading for dinner when he’s finished here, would you want to join us?” Katja asks, motherly concern etched upon her features, and Poppy’s heart warms at the gesture in spite of the panic rousing in her chest.
“That’s alright,” she shakes her head, guilt plucking slightly at her with the telling of the minute lie, “I have plans with another friend.”
“We’ll be going home next week, so there’s plenty of time to catch up, if you’re free at all.”
Poppy can’t help but relent with a soft smile, nodding at the suggestion without overthinking it. She’d accidentally gatecrashed a couple lunches Nico and Katja had together in some of her previous visits, and she was always so welcoming and kind - it would hardly be putting herself out if she were to do it again. “I’d like that,”
“If you’re busy, Nina and Rino will be over for the Stadium game, don’t let them convince you to come out when I’m not there.” She jests with a pointed finger, and Poppy finds herself laughing despite her nerves. 
“I wouldn’t dream of it.”
“Good girl.” Katja reaches out and pinches softly at Poppy’s cheek, “Make sure you keep drinking plenty, and eating too, even if you feel sick you should try make sure you’re keeping your energy up. Try soup with lots of vegetables and bread. You can make it in a big batch and freeze it.”
Poppy can’t remember the last time her own mother had cared about her like this - not without belittling her, at least. When she’d spoken to her mom last week, had told her she was off work sick and couldn’t come over at the weekend, she had heard her roll her eyes over the phone. She’d been told that this is where eating poorly gets her, and that if she was keeping on top of her supplements and vitamin shots, she wouldn’t be so prone to illness. 
Even as a grown woman, with her own career, her own life, her own home, she still feels like a berated child when it comes to her mom. 
Nico’s mom makes her feel child-like in an entirely different way. In a way that’s warm and comforting, a way that wouldn’t give her anxiety every time her name comes up on her phone.
“I will, thank you for looking out for me, I can’t tell you how much I appreciate it, Katja.”
Kindness comes like a second nature to Katja - to all members of the Hischier family she has encountered thus far - and a pang of jealousy and longing hits her at the realisation that some people have just been raised around this level of benevolence their whole lives, and think nothing of it.
Though, she knows Nico appreciates it.
Katja departs back through the doors into the Q&A with a soft smile and an enthusiastic wave, and Poppy waits until they have closed properly before she retrieves her cellphone from her back pocket.
Frustrated at the way it refuses to identify her face, she prods her fingers into the screen, typing in her passcode and swiping until she finds her calendar app. 
She knows she had an appointment scheduled in December with her gynaecologist. She had been in the middle of trialling a new contraception back in October - a sticky patch that had made her bleed continuously for 3 weeks and turned her into a raging nightmare to be around - and had stopped using it despite the 6 week recommendation she had been given, figuring she’d just wait out the rough periods until her next time she was booked in and speak to the doctor about it. But she’d been so busy in the back end of last year, she doesn’t remember how long it’s been since she stopped. 
Her eyes widen when she locates the appointment, clicking into the date, December 15th and reading the notes she left in there.
NEED TO RESCHEDULE!!!! busy w/ work, gynae breaks 4 xmas 22nd, comes back Jan 2nd.
She remembers the phone call as soon as she reads it. She had cancelled instead of rescheduling, knowing she was picking up extra work and would be busy until pretty much after the Christmas break. She was supposed to call in the new year. She’d gotten distracted. She hadn’t thought it was an emergency, it wasn’t like she thought she would need it for contraceptive purposes. And her periods hadn’t even been that bad since she stopped using it. Light flow, 28 day cycle, barely any cramps. She’d even been keeping a track of it, herself. She had nothing to worry about, which is probably why she hadn’t remembered to book herself back in. Hadn’t thought to start taking any other birth control in the meantime.
Her Cycle app is the next stop, flicking through the dates until she realises she was on her period after Christmas, and that the 10 or so days after that had ended were marked another colour, given another meaning.
She can feel her heartbeat in her ears. 
No, no, no.
This isn’t happening.
She’s jumping to conclusions.
It’s just a sickness bug from the takeout.
The dreams are just her broken heart playing tricks on her.
She isn’t pregnant.
She can’t be pregnant.
Next Chapter
Taglist: @alwaysclassyeagle @bunbunbl0gs @idgaf-if-youre-here @youflowerr-youfeast @thearchersstuff @bellsdi0r @wonderheartz @jjgsunflower @butterflies35 @kenziepickle @josierosie @laheyxlover @mrsmattytkachuk (sorry if your tag hasn't worked btw)
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the-way-astray · 2 days
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okay wait if you don’t mind me asking why don’t you like incorrect quotes?
anon, i swear this was not meant to be this long
my reasons are 100% subjective. over the years, i've dabbled in several different fandoms. and i find that the same incorrect quote format is used to describe relationships between characters in different series that i find to not be alike at all. for example, i've seen multiple of the same incorrect quote formats used for both percabeth and sokeefe, when i don't find the relationships to be that similar to one another at all. it's just that people see one dimension of sophie and annabeth (let's say smart) and one dimension of percy and keefe (let's say funny) and then the entire incorrect quote becomes about that. i find sokeefe and percabeth to be two entirely different relationships with few things in common (which i've talked about), but the incorrect quotes flatten them to those qualities only and i don't like that.
the sokeefe-percabeth thing is just an example, by the way, one i picked because i feel most people i'm talking to would understand it, but i've also seen the same incorrect quote formats used to describe relationships like jurdan or kanej . . . and if you've read tfota or soc you know how drastically dissimilar jurdan or kanej are to either sokeefe or percabeth (and each other). and i find that these indirect comparisons drawn between relationships like this flattens certain characters quite a bit. this is how we get stuff like "sokeefe is basically kotlc percabeth" and stuff like that.
then, once a character has been given a "role" (i use the term loosely) they have to occupy all the aspects that come with that "role". so then they're only allowed to be that "role" in the incorrect quote, even if the quote requires them to say/do things they would never say/do, because they've been slated into that role based on that one aspect. take this quote for example:
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keefe has been slated into the role of "one that has a crush on sophie" for the purposes of this particular quote. but keefe doesn't ramble like this. he doesn't like his dad and would never discuss a crush on sophie with him (but this one i'm not that mad about since you could as easily change cassius to ro or something). he doesn't use exaggerated metaphors to describe things and he doesn't speak in purple prose. he does a pretty good job hiding his crush and would never inadvertently reveal it like this. do you see what i mean? because of the fact that the format requires him to be "one with a crush on sophie", he now has to fulfill all the other aspects the format requires, even though they don't apply to him. and it no longer feels like keefe. it flattens him down to this one aspect.
i feel like this flattening aspect of incorrect quotes does have a (very small, sort of indirect) effect on the way characters are perceived in fanon. and i don't like it? it's very weird to me. so i prefer to stay away from it. (best examples i can think of are cardan and kaz, who are both morally gray, but lots of incorrect quotes portray them as hopelessly in love with their love interests or malewives, and while that's true, them being slated into that role for the purpose of the incorrect quote often makes them out to be the kind that would doodle hearts around names in notebooks or blush or be in that sort of cutesy-teenager-with-a-crush kind of romance. and . . . uh . . . yeah, they love jude and inej, but that's like. not at all what either relationship is like. it's just not.)
also some incorrect quotes are so desperate to slate characters into certain "roles", as i call them, that they forsake crucial aspects of the character in the process, or actively make them do/say things that go against something that is a core aspect of that character. and i don't like the way the quote is willing to misinterpret something so crucial to the character for the sake of the incorrect quote exemplifying something much less important like "the funny one" or "the one with a crush on ___".
incorrect quotes also have a tendency to portray what a character actually wants to do, rather than how they would realistically behave, given the circumstances. take this quote (and ignore the weird anti-sophitz-ness for the moment, i'm trying to make a point):
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in canon, it's kind of a point that sophie "isn't aware" of her crush on keefe, so to speak. she knows she has a crush on fitz. she may subconsciously want to kiss keefe, but remember, she thinks she likes fitz. so this incorrect quote just frustrates me because that's not what sophie would do!!!!!!! she would kiss fitz. actually, she would get all nervous and blushy and try to worm her way out of it. and if this is a post-stellarlune quote, and she knows she likes keefe, she wouldn't address fitz directly like that??? she would trying so hard not to look at fitz because omg omg omg i have to kiss my new boyfriend in front of my old boyfriend who appears to still not be over me. like the quote requires you to change fundamental aspects of sophie's personality/behavior to buy it. my analysis brain can't handle that. my problem is that i can't enjoy the quote for the quote, because my brain is always instead picking apart how un-character the incorrect quote feels.
having said all of that, i fully understand that anyone who likes incorrect quotes or engages with them frequently knows all this. i don't think you all are stupid. obviously keefe would never say something like that first example i showed in canon. that's understood! the point is to make fun of his crush on sophie. i get it. it's all in good fun. i just prefer not to engage with incorrect quotes because the flattening aspect makes me personally want to scream that the character would never do or say that, because at this point the character doesn't even feel like the character, so what even is the point of the quote anymore??? and then i get stuck in a loop.
and like i said in my original tags, i would never want to completely get rid of incorrect quotes. they're easy to make, fun, easily digestable, and in general sort of a safe way to get started in fandoms. they're the safety net of fandoms, and i think they really are crucial for smaller/more obscure fandoms where nobody wants to do hardcore analysis stuff but people still want to talk about their favorite media. so i think, for the purposes they fulfill, they're alright.
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bengiyo · 11 hours
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Hello 👋
All of your favorite horniest sex scenes?
Hello! I've been busy, so this has taken forever to get to!
I don't always need the guys to bounce around on each other and gyrate enthusiastically for it to out as horny. Oftentimes, I find myself more drawn in by the building desire between the characters, and the explicit acknowledgement of release. I like when the sex feels like it's also revealing something to us about the characters. I've highlighted many of these before, but it's fun to revisit.
Ghost Host, Ghost House Episode 4 Couch Scene
youtube
I will never get over this scene, and especially the director's cut of it. These guys knew they liked each other almost instantly, and it was so rewarding to see them reach a place where they could express that. Bonus points for discussing the logistics of gay sex.
This show has been on Gaga and YouTube for a while, but it's also now available on Viki!
La Pluie Episode 6 Floor Scene and Episode 7 Bed Scene
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I liked this scene so much that I wrote about it. Again, there's a lot of anticipation between these two, and you can tell how far it's built up because Patts has to dial it back down when Saengtai wants to stop. It's especially important to me because Saengtai does blow Patts in the next episode. If you're on iQIYI, there's an extended cut of that at the end of the video lists.
Mood Indigo: The Post-Funeral Scene
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These two are so horrible for each other, but damn are their sex scenes compelling. Theirs are the kinds of scenes only possible between two people you know can never work long term. I was so glad that we got back to Haruhiko in Playback, and the first thing he did was blow Rio in a car. If you haven't seen the Novelist, and you're itching for hornier BL, it's right there.
The End of the World With You "You're Soaked"
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From the same team as The Novelsit, we got to experience baby's first fuckboy in this incredible show. Again, I love when we get scenes with couples who aren't ready to work, because they're allowed to have raunchier sex. They get to amp the intensity of the physicality because they need to give a reason why someone was so caught up and missed the warning signs. I actually love the car scene later as a more romantic intimacy scene, but we're focusing on horny here.
Jack o' Frost Birthday Sex
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A common theme here with the Japanese offerings is that people are allowed to have more interesting sex scenes right before they split. This is true even in Jack o' Frost. We get a really great oner from the leads that precedes their breakup and Ritsu's accident. I think this might be my favorite of this list because the actors have to build the entire scene together since there aren't any cuts.
Gameboys 2 Bed Scene
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Cairo and Gav are one of my favorite pandemic couples we got on screen, and I was quite relieved for them when they finally got to have this moment. We also confirmed they switch, and I love that.
Wedding Plan: Namnuea Showing Off His Stamina
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No list for me would be complete without including them. I really loved seeing two gay men go at it after clearing out all of their misunderstandings. They had already had sad goodbye sex. It was thrilling to see them having enthusiastic, athletic sex. This also leads directly to one of my favorite emotional payoffs for a closeted character of all time.
Kiseki: Dear to Me Reunion
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The second couple stole this show, but damn if I didn't love the way these two played out sex across multiple years between their characters. These two really suffered, and I really love the way Taro Lin and Hsu Kai captured the changes between these two as Bai Zong Yi grew and matured. This really was a solid sex scene.
Love Class 2: Sungmin and Joo Hyuk
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I just really wanna thank them for reassuring me that if Korea wanted to, they could deliver.
Sleep With Me Jeans Scene
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I am not a lesbian, but I share their beliefs. This scene was so good. I loved that these two, who have different kinds of disabilities, were able to have a very fun sex scene. I really like when it's clear both characters want to be there.
Only Friends: Boston and Top in the Car
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Despite my eventual disdain for this show, I was impressed with Neo and Force for giving this incredibly selfish sex scene between their characters. This entire scene is about injured egos, and it's a standout scene from this show. We won't discuss the rest of the show here.
Thanks for the ask!
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kradeelav · 2 days
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Hello! I want to learn how to draw content on the more spicy side, but I'm unsure where to start. Do you have any tips/resources for it? I would love to make Corrin/Gunter art and some of my other favorite pairings. Thank you in advance!
on the practical/technical side:
having a solid understanding of anatomy helps, of course - the basic bone structure of course, but how skin, fat, muscle hangs as well. you don't actually need to watch live-action porn to get references (i never have believe it or not), but i do follow a few historical kink/bear magazine archivists online. personally i find that there's more of a variety of beautiful shapes and humans in those old photos, and you generally know it's consensual since they've personally submitted them.
you also can't go wrong with reading other erotic comics ... i say comics vs illustrations since you start to see the pacing of these scenes like any other human interaction and the tools the artists use. when does intimacy turn into foreplay? when does the artist/mangaka zoom in to capture the sensation of the moment? what clever tricks do the artists to capture the climax when the bodies are all pressed together and when finding a good camera angle is tricky? how do they show the heightened feeling with symbols and textures? how is kink power dynamics shown with characters in different positions? do you show faces and the expressions to show the pleasure or not? what comics feel cold and manufactured to you versus ones that capture real eros? why? etc.
on the mental side:
if you're anything like me, you might have a lot of shame to untangle when it comes to harder varieties of erotic art. (i hope not! not everyone does. but it's unfortunately common given the societies we live in.)
it's going to take a while, and it's going to feel really weird at times when you draw something that's uncomfortably intimate or taboo, but that's when you know it's working and you gotta keep pushing through.
you gotta keep drawing.
privately, i have a personal rule that i'll draw anything at least once; if i feel afterwards that it turned out to be a personal squick, i won't go there again, but that guideline has been marvelous to start breaking through the manufactured idea of disgust and also just to experiment with putting myself in other people's shoes about what they find hot. sometimes it's surprising! i've learned a lot.
lastly, on that note - draw what you find deeply intimate. forget about other people. selfshipping? the most niche kinks possible? the kink that feels like the internet can't stand? who gives a shit about them (no taste, the lot of them).
draw the human. the tenderness, the visceral, that overpowering desire for you that almost scares you with how intense it is and that sends your brain alight.
that's going to be timeless.
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idkyetxoxo · 1 day
Text
Daeron Targaryen - Flawless
Summary - A commoner and a prince defy societal norms but as their secret affair is exposed, they grapple with intense emotions and the fear of their love being destroyed. They must choose whether to defy the world for their love or succumb to the pressures tearing them apart.
Pairing - Daeron Targaryen x reader
Warnings - None
Word count - 2130
Masterlist for Daeron • House of the Dragon General Masterlist
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I fell in love today. There aren't many words that you can say that could ever get my mind to change. She's enough for me, she's in love with me.
"If we're caught, there will be a heavy price to pay," I whispered, my lips grazing Daeron's as we huddled together in the dim stables, the air thick with the earthy smell of hay and the soft snorts of nearby horses. 
My heart pounded in my chest, each beat a reminder of the risk we were taking, and yet it only deepened the pull I felt toward him. The danger was intoxicating, fueling my desire for the man before me.
"I do not care," Daeron murmured, his fingers tender as they traced along my cheek, tucking a stray lock of hair behind my ear before cupping my face. 
His touch was so gentle, it made my knees weak. His violet eyes, those piercing, otherworldly eyes, locked onto mine with a fire that sent shivers down my spine. 
Then, without warning, his lips claimed mine. Familiar and firm, the kiss ignited something deep inside me, a flame that only he could kindle. The taste of him, the warmth of his hands moving against me, sent waves of longing through my body. 
I surrendered to it, letting him guide us down onto the soft, hay-covered floor. 
His hands, rough yet achingly tender, roamed over me, sending sparks of electricity with every touch. 
The tension between us was palpable, the thrill of being discovered heightening the already burning heat that simmered in every breath we took.
"Here?" I asked, my voice a breathless whisper as I momentarily pulled away, gazing up at him. My heart raced, not from fear, but from the sheer weight of my feelings for him.
Daeron wasn't just a prince to me. He was more than the silver-haired, violet-eyed fantasy I had dreamt of. He was real, here, with me, like something out of a story too good to be true. 
I had always thought him untouchable, a man destined for greatness far beyond my reach, and yet, in this moment, it felt like we had defied the world and carved out a place for just us.
"Do not deny me," he breathed against my skin, his lips brushing along my neck, leaving a trail of heat in their wake. 
Each kiss, each small bite, left me trembling, and I knew I would carry these marks long after the moment ended—a visible reminder of what we'd stolen from time.
"I wouldn't dream of it," I whispered back, my fingers threading through his hair, pulling him closer as he fumbled with the laces of my dress. 
The anticipation between us built like the brewing of a storm, the tension rising, until it felt like we might shatter from the force of it.
But the storm came differently. The stable doors creaked open, a sound so mundane yet terrifying in that moment. We froze. Too late.
"Daeron!" A voice boomed through the quiet space like a thunderclap. My blood ran cold as I shoved him off me, scrambling to sit up. 
My hands shook as I tried to lace my dress, my fingers clumsy with panic.
In the doorway stood Gwayne, Daeron's uncle, his large figure casting a dark shadow over the stables. His face, twisted in disappointment, was a mask of barely contained fury. 
He looked at us as though we were children caught misbehaving, but there was something crueler in his eyes—contempt, as if we were something beneath him. Filth.
Daeron rose first, and I hurried to follow, my cheeks burning with humiliation as I fumbled to fix my dress, every second stretching into an eternity of shame.
"What is the meaning of this?" Gwayne's voice was as cold as winter's first breath, each word cutting through the air like shards of ice. 
He looked between us as if we had committed some great sin.
"Nothing," I mumbled, my voice barely audible. I couldn't bear to meet Daeron's gaze, though I could feel the tension radiating off him. 
I wanted to explain, to defend what we had, but the words died in my throat.
"It is exactly what it looks like," Daeron said, his voice steady as he met his uncle's glare, his shoulders squared in defiance.
For a brief moment, his boldness sent a flicker of warmth through me, but it was quickly drowned by the flood of shame that pooled in my stomach.
Gwayne's lip curled in disgust. "If you're going to indulge in such... affairs with women like her," he spat, his words dripping with disdain, "at least have the decency to be discreet. Or is that too much to ask?"
My heart twisted at the words. Women like her. The insult stung like a slap, his meaning clear.
In Gwayne's eyes, I wasn't worth Daeron's time. I was nothing more than a passing indulgence, something beneath Daeron's station. A common girl. A nobody.
Daeron's hand reached for mine, but I stepped back, my entire body stiff with humiliation.
"Women like her?" Daeron's voice was tight, strained with disbelief and hurt. "She is not—"
"You know exactly what I mean," Gwayne cut him off, dismissing his defence as if it were beneath him.
Tears stung at my eyes, the weight of my reality crashing down around me. Of course, this was how it would end. 
Daeron, a prince destined for greatness, and me, the blacksmith's daughter, foolish enough to believe in fairy tales. 
How had I let myself think, even for a second, that we could ever be more than a secret tryst?
But then Daeron's voice, soft and urgent, broke through the chaos. "I love her."
The words stopped me cold. I looked up, shocked, searching his face for any sign that this was some cruel jest. 
But his eyes—those beautiful violet eyes—held nothing but sincerity. He meant it.
Gwayne, however, was unimpressed. "Don't be ridiculous," he scoffed, dismissing Daeron's declaration with a wave of his hand.
"You think this is love?" Gwayne's voice dripped with venom, his gaze flicking over me like I was dirt under his boot. "This is folly. A prince does not sully himself with... commoners."
It was too much. The weight of Daeron's love, the sting of Gwayne's scorn, the sheer impossibility of our situation—it all overwhelmed me. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't stay.
Without a word, I turned and fled.
Daeron's voice called out to me, but I didn't stop. Not until I reached the empty streets beyond the stable did I let the tears fall, silent and unrelenting. 
Tears for what we had, for the love I had found—and for the reality that had torn it apart.
─── ✦⋅♡⋅✦ ───
A week had passed since that treacherous moment in the stables—a week that felt like an eternity. Every day, Daeron sought me out, and every day, I found a way to avoid him. 
Each time I caught sight of his silver hair in the distance or heard the familiar lilt of his voice in a crowded street, I slipped away before he could catch me. 
I knew that if I saw him—if I let him speak—my resolve would crumble. I couldn't afford that. 
Not if I wanted to move on, not if I wanted to survive this heartbreak, I needed distance.
One evening, as the sun dipped below the horizon, I found myself at my favourite place, opposite the riverbank, away from the prying eyes of Oldtown's streets. 
Here, I could think, breathe, and mourn the love I could never truly have. 
The gentle sound of the water soothed my soul, the quiet trickle of the current carrying away my unspoken pain. 
I held a small daisy between my fingers, twirling it absentmindedly as I stared at the water. My thoughts were scattered, filled with memories of him—his touch, his smile, his violet eyes that seemed to see straight into my soul. 
I didn't know how to stop loving him, but I had to try. It was the only way to protect myself from a heartbreak that already felt inevitable.
But the peace I'd found was short-lived. Footsteps crunched behind me, slow and deliberate. 
Someone sat beside me, and without turning, I already knew who it was. His presence was as familiar to me as the air I breathed.
Daeron.
I glanced over to see him, his silver hair catching the fading light, his violet eyes locked on mine with an intensity that made my breath hitch. He was silent, watching me, waiting for me to react. 
My heart pounded, and instinctively, I moved to stand, to flee, but his hand shot out, gently covering mine, the warmth of his touch rooting me in place.
"Please, don't leave," he said softly, his voice thick with emotion. His plea wasn't just in his words—it was in his eyes, the way his fingers trembled ever so slightly over mine.
I sighed, unable to meet his gaze for long. "Daeron, you know we can't do this," I began, my voice breaking under the weight of the truth. "We were never meant to be."
"No," he interrupted sharply, his voice laced with frustration. "Don't say that. Don't you dare say that."
I shook my head, the weight of the world pressing down on me. "Your uncle was right," I whispered, my eyes fixated on the moving water. "I am flawed. I'm not—"
"Stop," he said firmly, cutting me off with a fierce determination. He reached up, cupping my face with both hands, forcing me to look at him. 
His touch was tender, but his words were anything but. "Do not ever think that. The only flaw here is that you're flawless. Too perfect for a world like this, for people like my uncle who are blind to your worth."
His words hung in the air, leaving me speechless. The walls I had built around myself, the ones I'd spent days fortifying to keep him out, began to crack. 
I could feel the warmth of his hands on my skin, the urgency in his touch, and despite my better judgment, my resolve began to weaken.
"Daeron, I can't—" I started, but he silenced me with a look, his thumb brushing my cheek as his gaze bore into mine.
His love was a gift I didn't know how to accept. I wanted to believe his words to trust the fire in his eyes that promised a future I never thought I deserved.
But how could I? The world wasn't kind to girls like me.
"I love you," he declared, his voice trembling with an intensity that left no room for doubt. 
"I do not care what anyone thinks or what anyone says. I will defy them all. I will defy my uncle, the court, the world if I have to—because I cannot live without you."
My breath caught in my throat. There was no hesitation, no doubt in his words. 
He spoke with the conviction of someone who had decided to throw caution to the wind, to face any storm for the sake of the one he loved. 
His declaration was a promise, a vow. And in that moment, I realized he meant every word.
"Please," he continued, his voice dropping to a whisper, "don't shut me out. Don't leave me again. I will fight for you, for us—just let me."
Tears welled up in my eyes, but this time, they weren't from pain. They were from the overwhelming rush of emotions his words stirred in me. 
I had been so afraid, so convinced that I wasn't worthy of him, of this love. But here he was, on his knees beside me, begging me to let him love me.
I nodded, my throat too tight with emotion to form words. "I'm sorry," I finally managed to whisper, my voice barely audible. "I'm sorry for pushing you away."
He shook his head, dismissing the apology without a second thought. "You have nothing to be sorry for."
Before I could say anything more, he pulled me toward him, his lips finding mine in a kiss that was desperate and raw, as if he feared that I might vanish if he let go. 
His arms wrapped around me, holding me close, and in that moment, everything else faded away—the judgments, the fears, the obstacles that had seemed insurmountable. 
All that mattered was him. All that mattered was us.
As we sat there by the river, the world around us fell into silence, and for the first time in days, I allowed myself to believe in a future where we could be together. 
A future where love, not fear, guided our path.
Because Daeron had chosen me. And no matter what stood in our way, I would choose him too—again and again, for as long as I lived.
The only flaw, you are flawless but I just can't wait for love to destroy us, I just can't wait for love.
A/n - Inspo of course came from 'Flawless' by The Neighbourhood, I need them to come back desperately :(
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manikas-whims · 3 days
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Xavier – Floral Blessing 🔖 | Highlights
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MC and Xavier are most likely visiting a shrine or some sort of religious place wherein you make a wish and hang/tie a plaque in hopes of your wish coming true (this is quite a common ritual in many cultures)
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MC drags Xavier to make a wish and tie a plaque.
(*coughs* so um..Red Parasols are commonly seen being held by japanese brides during their weddings. Sometimes seen in chinese weddings as well..)
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MC drags him and it's probably why he stumbles forward, readjusts the parasol & this happens..😍
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Eh..hem..Xav Girls, our man really likes to pin us under him 🤭
His gaze here is so full of admiration, love & want.
(he's definitely considering devouring her lol)
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Moving on..
Xavier made his wish..
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..and hung the plaque 🥺
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Now it's MC’s turn!
If it isn't obvious already Xavier is carrying MC in his arms 😍 which is the reason for such an angle, and why MC/you are looking down at his face.
He is holding her up and helping her hang the plaque on the tree.
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MC playfully asks him about his wish and he asks if she's curious..
the camera shaking up and down in the second gif is a result of MC nodding her head. YES XAVIER WE WANNA KNOW WHAT YOU WISHED FOR ♡
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He responds with a shake of his head and winks while he speaks (I LOVE THIS GESTURE ON HIM! HE LOOKS SO FINE)
well..i gotta agree with him..even in my culture it's believed that you shouldn't reveal your wish until it's fulfilled. Many times those who hear your wish may or may not harbor good feelings towards you and thus, reduce the effect of the wish..
BUT HERE IT'S SO OBVIOUS THAT XAVIER IS MERELY TEASING MC 🤭 (he knows she would never harbor any ill feelings towards him)
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It's obvious Xavier is still holding up MC in his arms while she pokes his cheek and messes with him 😆
(i love how childish and playful they both get around each other)
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*SQUIISHHYYYYY SQUISH! SQUISH! SQUISH!*
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And...
this leads to the hold of his arms around MC loosening and both of them stumbling LMAO 🤣
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But before MC can fall, Xavier has managed to grab her by her thigh/ass, pulling her flush against himself 🤭 and her arms are wrapped tightly around his neck to keep herself from losing balance; both of their faces ending up extremely close 😏
leading to these idiots looking rather flustered and most likely with some desires ignited 🤭
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(gifs used are mine)
i love how fluffy his cards seem to be but by the end something sensual always tends to happen 🤭 can't wait for this!
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Hi! I’ve been learning more about Mormonism lately, and I know that Mormon progressives like you definitely exist. However, I’ve been finding it really difficult to understand how people can reconcile their faith with the verse 2 Nephi 5:21 without believing in white supremacy. I understand there are theories about it being metaphorical, but I’ve been having trouble understanding them. If you could offer me some insight, I would truly appreciate it! Thank you in advance.
Thanks for your question! I am unfortunately painfully white, so I may not be the most experienced of people to answer this lol. I'll give it a shot though!
A big tenet of our faith is finding trustworthy sources for questions we have. One of my favorite sources on this topic is a video my dad sat all of our family down and made us watch when we were young*: a talk given by a Black religious scholar called "Blacks In The Scriptures: Skin Color & Curses". It's 45 minutes long, but if this is something you're serious about learning about, you should watch it. You can even 2x speed it if you'd like. You can find it here.
A common archaeological theory is that the Lamanites married, had children with, and culturally assimilated into more of the indigenous population, leading to darker skin. Another idea is that the Lamanites used body paint or decorations that darkened their skin, which would explain the darker skin but not the curse aspect.
Even if the "curse of blackness" is literally about race -- which I doubt it is -- it doesn't mean that, in our gospel, dark skin equals evil.** As the Nephites grew in power and resources, they became prideful and stopped believing. The Lamanites did begin to believe and even became more righteous than the Nephites at one point. As a religion, we also believe that man cannot be punished for the sins of their fathers, called generational sin [see Article of Faith 2]. Those blessed with melanin are no better or worse than any white folk -- all souls are alike and equally capable of exaltation.
[When you look, we have far more scriptures about all people and races being equal than we do about curses of black skin.]
I will be the first to admit that our religion has not had... the best relationship with race. On an episode of Brothaz in the Foyer, they shared this idea that "[Even] outside of church... any organization that's over 100 years old is gonna have some type of history around racism or prejudice." [Side note: that video is also an incredible resource! I would recommend watching it. The Brothaz share their perspectives and experiences regarding race in their religion, and I think it's a helpful resource even if you're not struggling with this concept. It's good to branch out and hear experiences from minority groups in the Church.]
To be entirely honest, I don't entirely understand 2 Nephi 5:21 myself. There are many parts of my faith that don't quite make sense to me, with my earthly mind. Expecting that every member of the Church has to understand and be an expert on every part of our religion is like expecting that every person who loves dinosaurs has a perfect explanation on whether or not there is evidence for a feathered Tyrannosaurus Rex. Not understanding a "curse of blackness" doesn't undermine the idea that I believe in a God who sent a Savior who died for my sins and wants me to return to him. Just because I don't know if T. Rex had feathers doesn't mean I don't believe that dinosaurs existed, you get me?
Anyways, I know I didn't quite answer your question, but hopefully the sources I shared with you can help you come to a conclusion about this [I don't feel experienced enough on this topic to share my own opinions lol, I'll leave it to the theologians of color to explain] And, I might mention, although it's very forward of me to say so, that you could pray about this issue. You don't have to, of course, but it's always an option to anyone struggling with anything ever. Who knows -- you might learn something! :}
Thank you for your ask!
*I grew up in a STAUNCHLY anti-racist household -- went to Juneteenth celebrations, attended protests, met and served friends of color, etc. -- so making the 7 year old learn about Hebrew idioms about race was not too weird for us
** The doctrine, at least, does not say anything about white supremacy. That doesn't mean that members can't misinterpret gospel doctrine and be horribly racist. I have heard of encounters with many a racist Mormon, and my heart aches for all those who have been prejudiced against at the hand of racist Church members.
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nitrateglow · 2 days
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Spooky Season 2024: 12-22
Phantom of the Mall: Eric's Revenge (dir. Richard Friedman, 1989)
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The opening of the new mall is hampered by one thing: a Phantom hiding in the air vents, and committing robbery and murder. It turns out this Phantom is really a teenager named Eric (Derek Rydall) disfigured in a fire set by the mall's developers to clear out any remaining houses impeding their dreams of commercial development. Now, Eric plans on having his revenge and watching over his girlfriend Melody (Kari Whitman), now an employee of the mall. But what will he make of her burgeoning romance with a journalist?
Talk about pure '80s cheese. This film feels like it was made to capitalize on the slasher cycle and the popularity of the Andrew Lloyd Weber Phantom of the Opera megamusical. It's not a particularly good movie, but it is dumb fun. I love how this Phantom makes free use of the goods available in the stores and how he spams his spin kick attack like he's in a video game.
Also, Pauly Shore is in this. He has a great scene talking about subliminal messaging in department stores, but is otherwise the usual Pauly Shore.
Hangover Square (dir. John Brahm, 1945)
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Musician George Harvey Bone (Laird Cregar) is disturbed by long sessions in which he blacks out. He fears he may be committing murder, but is reassured by the police when he goes to them that isn't likely. Detective Dr. Allen Middleton (George Saunders) advises the overworked George take a break from composing. George does so by going to a pub where he meets the lovely Netta Longdon (Linda Darnell), a music hall entertainer who dreams of fame. George and Netta enter into a toxic relationship in which she uses him to advance her career while seeing other men on the side. When George discovers her treachery, his blackouts return-- this time in a far more violent form.
I'm starting to become fascinated by John Brahm, a director best remembered for his moody, macabre dramas in the 1940s. Hangover Square was his second and final collaboration with the talented but doomed Laird Cregar, who died two months before the film was released. It's as much a noir as a horror picture, drenched in that chiaroscuro lighting and urban dread so common to the classic cycle.
Cregar is astonishing in the lead role. Though handsome, he was a bigger man, so Hollywood refused to allow him to transition into leading man parts. He is marvelous here, passionate and sensitive, yet also sinister once his jealous rage takes over. I've seen Cregar in multiple films and he was truly fantastic, able to be comic as well as dramatic. Hollywood didn't deserve him.
Lastly, Linda Darnell's character sings this really catchy song when Cregar first sees her. I saw this film weeks ago but it is STILL STUCK IN MY HEAD.
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The Sealed Room (dir. DW Griffith, 1909)
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In some nondescript time period (everyone's dressed like it's either the early 18th century or the middle ages), a king (Arthur V. Johnson) learns his mistress (Marion Leonard) is smooching with a musician (Henry B. Walthall). Jealous to the point of rage, he has the couple sealed in a small room where they suffocate to death.
The Sealed Room is a gem from the nickelodeon era, though I admit my liking for it comes from how extra all the performances are, even by the standards of the early silent period.
It also has one of my favorite instances of what I like to call "silent film logic"-- that is, scenes featuring action that would be very loud in real life, but in a silent film, you may not think about it as much. Here, the king has the lovers walled up alive in a small room, where they lounge unaware. And yet, there's workers slapping up a brick wall not ten feet away from them! It's very amusing.
Frankenhooker (dir. Frank Henenlotter, 1990)
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When his girlfriend Elizabeth (Patty Mullen) gets hacked to death by an automatic lawnmower he built, medical student Jeffrey (James Lorinz) decides to resurrect her by killing sex workers for their shapely body parts then sewing Elizabeth's severed head on top. He does this by having his victims smoke explosive crack.
No, I'm not making this up.
I first heard about Frankenhooker from James Rolfe of Angry Video Game Nerd fame. It sounded so insane that I knew I had to watch it. It's-- well, it's definitely a bizarre movie with lots of crude humor and pitch black jokes.
Would you believe me if I said it was kind of an unsung feminist work? I definitely did not expect THAT angle coming in, but that messaging is definitely there. Jeffrey is a villain-protagonist through and through, even before he starts committing murder. We learn he was already demanding Elizabeth modify her appearance to suit his tastes before she got killed. He views women as more a collection of body parts than proper people. However, his misogyny does catch up with him in the end and his fate at the resurrected Elizabeth's hands is the very definition of irony. I don't want to spoil it.
It's definitely not for everyone, but if you have a sick sense of humor and some friends that share that humor, you'll have a good time.
Friday the 13th: Part 2 (dir. Steve Miner, 1981)
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A summer camp close to the infamous Camp Crystal Lake is about to open. Little do the young, horny counselors know, Jason (Warrington Gillette and Steve Daskewicz)-- the boy that allegedly drowned long ago-- is still alive and he's mad his mama got decapitated in the previous film. Lots of people die.
I confess I have a hard time getting into these Friday the 13th films. I've read it took a few entries for the series to find its footing as gloriously dumb schlock, but the first one and this sequel were mostly boring for me. About all I liked was the last twenty minutes, when the heroine's background in child psychology comes into play. Otherwise, this gets a big meh from me. Not horrible, but nothing I can imagine I'll ever rewatch.
Corridor of Mirrors (dir. Terence Young, 1948)
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A party girl (Edana Romney) becomes involved with a Renaissance era-obessed artist (Eric Portman). Their fetishistic relationship leads to heartbreak and murder.
Already discussed this one is great detail at my Wordpress blog. It's a great romantic thriller in the vein of Vertigo and Rebecca.
The Old Dark House (dir. James Whale, 1932)
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During a thunderstorm, a group of unwary British travelers are marooned at the crumbling mansion of the Femm family, a collection of eccentrics who may be insane. Everything goes wrong: the hulking butler gets drunk and preys on the women visitors, the area may flood, the lights go out, and there may be a homicidal maniac imprisoned in one of the rooms upstairs. Will anyone survive the night?
I have raved about this film for a long time now. It's truly a favorite of mine in general, not just for the Halloween season. Both witty and chilling, it's an atmospheric masterpiece. The damp and mold are palpable.
What fascinates me most is the Femm family itself and the gaps in their backstory. This is one movie where I feel like there's a Tolstoyan novel's worth of drama with the Femms. It's hinted that the 102-year-old patriarch of the house (played in drag by actress Elspeth Dudgeon) used to host orgies there. The death of the seductive sister Rebecca at the age of 21 may or may not have been due to inter-family foul play. Morgan the butler has a close, even weirdly tender relationship with the homicidally insane brother Saul, suggesting a myriad of possible connections between them. It's very interesting-- I like that the movie doesn't fill in all the blanks.
A Game of Death (dir. Robert Wise, 1945)
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Don Rainsford (John Loder), big game hunter extraordinaire, finds himself shipwrecked on a mysterious island. The owner is Erich Kriegler (Edgar Barrier), an urbane German who also enjoys hunting, though with a slight difference-- he likes hunting humans. Teaming up with other shipwreck survivors Ellen (Audrey Long) and Robert (Russell Wade), Don tries finding a way to escape before they become Kriegler's next wall trophies.
This movie is a pallid, watered down, shot-for-shot remake of The Most Dangerous Game, one of the crown jewels of 1930s horror, so of course, I am not fond of it. And yet, I rewatch it every few years, so it must have something going for it. So instead of tearing into it as I normally do, I'll list a few things I think are actually good about it:
I like that the main character initially tries tricking Kriegler into thinking he will hunt people with him. Very pro-active.
I think Kriegler is a good villain. Not as memorably deranged and campy as Leslie Banks' Zaroff in the original film, but chilling in a more low-key way. His "the strong deserve to prey upon the weak" philosophy fits in nicely with Nazi ideologies-- no doubt what this wartime horror flick intended.
Um... I think Audrey Long is really pretty. I like her flow-y outfits.
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... Yeah, that's it.
The Most Dangerous Game (dir. Ernest B. Schoedsack and Irving Pichel, 1932)
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All-American big game hunter Bob Rainsford (Joel McCrea) is shipwrecked on the unlisted island of Count Zaroff (Leslie Banks), a Russian aristocrat and master sportsman who claims he now hunts "the most dangerous game" of all. Being a himbo, it takes Bob a while before he realizes that game is human beings. Unwilling to hunt alongside Zaroff when given the offer, Rainsford and fellow prisoner Eve Trowbridge (Fay Wray) wage a game with Zaroff: let loose into the island's thick jungle, if they survive the night without Zaroff or the terrain killing them, they'll go free. If not, Rainsford dies and Eve will become a rather different kind of quarry for the evil count.
Now, here's my favorite "hunter hunts people" movie! While "The Most Dangerous Game" has been adapted and ripped off multiple times for a century, the original is still hard to beat. The castle set drips with gothic grandeur. The jungle soundstage is thick and suffocating, and once the chase intensifies, it becomes like something out of a nightmare.
I actually think the climactic hunt is among the greatest sequences in all cinema. The editing is so dynamic and the images are brilliant. And when you consider this is still an early talkie, when films were still trying to rediscover their footing after silent cinema came to an end, it becomes even more remarkable.
Going on Letterboxd, I was shocked to find a lot of people on there have mixed to negative opinions about this movie, largely because they think it's too over the top and that it's messaging is too on the nose.
I mean-- yes, these things are true, but I don't see them as flaws. It probably helps that I love camp and melodrama, and am not ashamed to admit it. And regardless of the fervent camp on display, I still think the trophy room scene is creepy and the chase is super intense. I have probably seen this movie close to a hundred times and yet, the chase still has me shouting at the TV, willing the characters to run faster. That's damn fine filmmaking.
The Haunting (dir. Robert Wise, 1963)
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A researcher of the paranormal brings a motley crew of ordinary people into the allegedly haunted Hill House. Both potential ghosts and the neuroses of the visitors bring on sinister events and ultimately tragedy.
I love this movie more and more. I already wrote a bit about my reaction this time around, though since then, I started rereading the source novel, Shirley Jackson's The Haunting of Hill House. Obviously, the book delves more deeply into Eleanor's psyche, but the film does a fantastic job of this as well. Given film is a visual medium, it can be a challenge to depict a character's interior state without delving into expressionism and this film does that well.
The Phantom of the Opera (dir. Terence Fisher, 1962)
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Aspiring songstress Christine Charles (Heather Sears) and producer Harry Hunter (Edward de Souza) are drawn into a mystery at the London Opera House. A phantom is sabotaging any attempt to produce Joan of Arc: A Tragedy, a show allegedly written by the cold, snobby, rapey Lord Ambrose (Michael Gough). After some investigating, it turns out the Phantom (Herbert Lom) was once the meek-mannered Professor Petrie, whose music was stolen by Ambrose. Now, he wants only to see his opera done justice and only Christine's voice can make that happen.
I am very fond of this version of The Phantom of the Opera even though I think it has a myriad of dramatic flaws. Let's get the flaws out the way first. I think the film is a bit repetitive in retelling us Petrie's story over and over, at first through onscreen description and then through filmed depiction. I also think the ending is anti-climactic, like the writers didn't want to go the usual route of making the Phantom a homicidal maniac but they weren't sure how to make a properly dramatic finish without that characterization.
That out the way, this is a unique, even refreshing retelling in many ways. The Phantom/Christine relationship is no longer one of unrequited love-- in fact, Petrie seems wholly uninterested in romance or sex at all. He views Christine and himself as victims of the truly despicable Lord Ambrose: Petrie had his music stolen and Christine was sexually harrassed. Therefore, it is up to the two of them to wrest the opera back from Amrbose's influence and make it the production Petrie wanted. Petrie is one hard taskmaster. He is relentless in training Christine and at one point throws filthy sewer-water in her face when she faints.
But the Phantom is hardly an out and out villain here. He doesn't even kill people-- he has a convenient hunchbacked assistant to do that. No, the real baddie is Ambrose, among the nastiest villains in the Hammer canon. Ambrose never even kills anyone, yet he makes the blood boil with his wanton cruelty. Michael Gough (who I always remember best as Alfred in the Tim Burton Batman movies, as well as Batman Forever and Batman and Robin) is so good at being bad.
This version of POTO also has my favorite version of the Phantom's compositions. Usually, he writes a "burning" piece called Don Juan Triumphant, fitting his romantic obsession with Christine. Here, Petrie writes an opera about Joan of Arc, a virginal saint persecuted by powerful men-- a fitting subject for Petrie given his own persecution by an aristocrat. Joan's aria "I Hear Your Voice" is gorgeous and always brings me to tears, it's that beautiful.
Not a perfect film, but still a very good one.
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Stolas And Miss Heed: Characters In Love With The Concept Of Love As A Form Of Validation
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I said time before Stolas and Miss Heed really have a lot in common with one another. They are rich assholes who use the people around them like toys while claiming they love them. I think these two screenshots really sum up their characters that they are people chasing the shadow of those they are obsessed with because inside they really can't love themselves. However, with Miss Heed the show rightfully calls out how she still is a horrible person who hurts people to feel good about herself and that she was always a toxic person to Flug.
Stolas on the other hand is babied and treated like a saint who is valid for feeling the way he feels even though he ignores his daughter to pursue his selfish demands. There is also the fact that even though Heed has tragic elements that doesn't mean that excuses her behavior which is a major criticism of Stolas is that the narrative does that to the point people have grown to despite him. Meanwhile, Miss Heed has a strong fanbase because it understands she's toxic while also realizing she can still be a tragic character.
Another thing what makes Heed better written is that the narrative doesn't gaslight into thinking she did nothing wrong to Flug and Flug isn't right to keep a distance from her. It's not only because she's a hero and he's a villain, but she has used him time and before in the past. If someone continues to hurt you to use you then you have every right to cut them out, especially when they obviously haven't learned their lesson and still want you to help them without remorse. The same can't be said for Stolas which the narrative tries to say he hasn't done anything wrong while putting the blame on everyone else for why he's treated Blitzo like crap. And the fact that Blitzo dared call him out is portrayed as him going too far, instead of a wake up call that needed to be stated loud and clear. If someone is toxic no matter how much you have personal issues they still can rightfully cut you or call you out.
As said before, Stolas has hurt people in his pursuit of Blitzo. Despite the demonization of Stella, the show doesn't recognize how much he's hurt his daughter in pursuit of romantic love. He puts so much on finding his happy fantasy that he forgot the reality of having a strong relationship with his daughter whose stable life was ruined the moment he decided his happiness was more important than her having a good home life. Again this contrasts with Heed who like Stolas put someone she cared about in the past too the side to pursue her obsession. In this case, after she stole Flug's thesis she decided to become a hero to pursue Goldheart. She didn't care about how this would affect him and only wanted to pursue her want for a super awesome popular boyfriend with Goldheart.
Even though Villainous hasn't had any episodes in three years, I do love they did this archetype much better than Stolas who in my opinion has gotten more and more insufferable. If Stolas was written the way that Miss Heed was portrayed then I wouldn't have a problem with the show focusing on him instead of him always being babied and protected from his horrible decisions.
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champagnepodiums · 1 year
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i put this on twitter but i figured i'd put it on here too -- if any female motorsport content creators ever have motorsport history questions, i am always available as a resource!! motorsport history is so vast and complicated so it can be so daunting but i can help!! and i will not make you feel stupid about it or mansplain. i saw a podcast clip on tiktok where they were talking about the indy 500 milk tradition and they were missing a lot of context that would've made it make more sense so yeah, just offering my noggin to help!! i
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amee-racle-ofmyown · 8 months
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one thing I love about iswm is that even though the Captain hardly talks, engineer Mark always seems to understand them
I'd like to think that in the monster captain au, the two of them would still find their own ways of communicating, despite being very different
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