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shuxiii · 1 year

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Everyday pt. 6

Hanni Pham x reader pt1, pt2, pt3, pt4, pt5, pt6, pt7, pt8, pt9, pt10, pt11, pt12, pt13

a/n drink your milk everybody even the adults so your bones get yummy yummy milk if you are lactose intolerant, eat your veggies. credits all to ''every day'' by David Levithan.

Day 6003

I am not alone when I wake up the next morning.

I am sharing the room with two other boys—my brothers, Yeonjun and Beomgyu. Yeonjun is a year older than me. Beomgyu is my twin. My name is Soobin.

Soobin is big—a football player. Beomgyu is about the same size. Yeonjun is even bigger.

The room is clean, but even before I know what town I’m in, I know we’re not in the nice part of it. This is a big family in a small house. There is not going to be a computer here. Soobin is not going to have a car.

It’s Yeonjun’s job—self-appointed or otherwise—to get us up and out. Our father’s not home from the night shift yet, and our mother’s already on the way to her job. Our two sisters are about done with the bathroom. We’re next.

I access and find that I’m in the town next to Haruto’s, over an hour from Hanni’s.

This is going to be a hard day.

The bus ride to school takes forty-five minutes. When we get there, we head to the cafeteria for free breakfast. I am amazed at Soobin’s appetite—I pile on pancake after pancake, and he’s still hungry. Beomgyu matches him bite for bite.

Luckily, I have study hall first period. Unluckily, there’s still homework that Soobin needs to do. I push through that as quick as I can, and have about ten minutes of computer time left at the end.

There’s a message from Hanni, written at one in the morning.

Yn,

I want to believe you, but I don’t know how.

Hanni

I write back:

Hanni,

You don’t need to know how. You just make up your mind and it happens.

I am in Laurel right now, over an hour away. I am in the body of a football player named Soobin. I know how strange that sounds. But, like everything I’ve told you, it’s the truth.

Love,

There’s just enough time for me to check my other email address. There’s another email from Haruto.

You can’t avoid my questions forever. I want to know who you are. I want to know why you do what you do.

Tell me.

Again, I leave him unanswered. I have no idea whether I owe him an explanation or not. I probably owe him something. But I’m not sure it’s an explanation.

I make it through to lunch. I want to go immediately to the library to check the computers again. But Soobin is hungry, and Beomgyu is with him, and I am afraid that if he doesn’t get his lunch now, there won’t be anything for him to eat until dinnertime. I checked, and there’s only about three dollars in his wallet, including change.

I get the free lunch and eat it quickly. Then I excuse myself to the library, which inspires no shortage of taunts from Beomgyu, who claims that “libraries are for girls.” A true brother, I shoot back with, “Well, that explains why you never find any.” A wrestling match ensues. All of this takes away time from what I need to do.

When I get to the library, all the computers are taken. I have to loom large over a freshman for about two minutes before he freaks out enough to give me his space. Quickly I check out public transportation and find out I’ll need to take three buses in order to make it to Hanni’s town. I’m ready to do it, but when I check my email, there’s another message from Hanni, dated just two minutes ago.

Yn,

Do you have a car? If not, I can come to you. There’s a Starbucks in Laurel. I’m told that nothing bad ever happens in a Starbucks. Let me know if you want to meet there.

Hanni

I type:

Hanni,

I would appreciate it if you could come here. Thank you.

Two minutes later, a new email from her:

Yn,

I’ll be there at 5. Can’t wait to see what you look like today.

(Still not believing this.)

Hanni

My nerves are jangling with possibility. She’s had time to think about it, and that hasn’t turned her against me. It’s more than I could ask for. I am careful not to be too grateful, lest it be taken away.

The rest of the school day is unexceptional … except for a moment in seventh period. Mrs. French, the bio teacher, is hectoring a kid who hasn’t done his homework. It’s a lab assignment, and he’s come up blank.

“I don’t know what got into me,” the slacker says. “I must have been possessed by the devil!”

The rest of the class laughs, and even Mrs. French shakes her head.

“Yeah, I was possessed by the devil, too,” another guy says. “After I drank seven beers!”

“Okay, class,” Mrs. French intones. “Enough of that.”

It’s the way they say it—I know Haruto’s story must be spreading.

“Hey,” I say to Beomgyu as we head to football practice, “did you hear about that kid in Monroeville who says he was possessed by the devil?”

“Dude,” he replies, “we were just talking about that yesterday. It was all over the news.”

“Yeah, I mean, did you hear anything more about it today?”

“What more is there to say? Kid got caught in a crazy lie, and now the religious crazies want to make him a poster child. I almost feel sorry for him.”

This, I think, is not good.

Our coach has to go to his wife’s Lamaze class, which he bitches about to us in detail, but it forces him to end practice early. I tell Beomgyu that I’m going to make a Starbucks run, and he looks at me like I have been totally, irredeemably girlified. I was counting on his disgust, and am relieved to get it.

She’s not there when I arrive, so I get a small black coffee—pretty much the only thing I can afford—and sit and wait for her. It’s crowded, and I have to look brutish in order to keep the other chair at my table unoccupied.

Finally, about twenty minutes after five, she shows up. She scans the crowd and I wave. Even though I told her I was a football player, she’s still a little startled. She comes over anyway.

“Okay,” she says, sitting down. “Before we say another word, I want to see your phone.” I must look confused, because she adds, “I want to see every single call you’ve made in the past week, and every single call you received. If this isn’t some big joke, then you have nothing to hide.”

I hand over Soobin’s phone, which she knows how to work better than I do.

After a few minutes of searching, she appears satisfied.

“Now, I quiz you,” she says, handing back the phone. “First, what was I wearing on the day that Minji took me to the beach?”

I try to picture it. I try to grab hold of those details. But they’ve already eluded me. I remember her, not what she was wearing.

“I don’t know,” I say. “Do you remember what Minji was wearing?”

She thinks about it for a second. “Good point. Did we make out?”

I shake my head. “We used the make-out blanket, but we didn’t make out. We kissed. And that was enough.”

“And what did I say to you before I left the car?”

“ ‘That’s the nice note.’ ”

“Correct. Quick, what’s Yunjin’s girlfriend’s name?”

“Kazuha”

“And what time did the party end?”

“Eleven-fifteen.”

“And when you were in the body of that girl who I took to all of my classes, what did the note you passed me say?”

“Something like, ‘The classes here are just as boring as in the school I’m going to now.’ ”

“And what were the buttons on your backpack that day?”

“Anime kittens.”

“Well, either you’re an excellent liar, or you switch bodies every day. I have no idea which one is true.”

“It’s the second one.”

I see, over Hanni’s shoulder, a woman looking at us quizzically. Has she overheard what we’re saying?

“Let’s go outside,” I whisper. “I feel we may be getting an unintended audience.”

Hanni looks skeptical. “Maybe if you were a petite cheerleader again. But—I’m not sure if you fully realize this—you’re a big, threatening dude today. My mother’s voice is very loud and clear in my head: ‘No dark corners.’ ”

I point out the window, to a bench along the road.

“Totally public, only without people listening in.”

“Fine.”

As we head out, the woman who was eavesdropping seems disappointed. I realize how many people sitting around us have open laptops and open notebooks, and hope that none of them have been taking notes.

When we get to the bench, Hanni lets me sit down first, so she can determine the distance that we’ll sit apart, which is significant.

“So you say you’ve been like this since the day you were born?”

“Yes. I can’t remember it being any different.”

“So how did that work? Weren’t you confused?”

“I guess I got used to it. I’m sure that, at first, I figured it was just how everybody’s lives worked. I mean, when you’re a baby, you don’t really care much about who’s taking care of you, as long as someone’s taking care of you. And as a little kid, I thought it was some kind of a game, and my mind learned how to access—you know, look at the body’s memories—naturally. So I always knew what my name was, and where I was. It wasn’t until I was four or five that I started to realize I was different, and it wasn’t until I was nine or ten that I really wanted it to stop.”

“You did?”

“Of course. Imagine being homesick, but without having a home. That’s what it was like. I wanted friends, a mom, a dad, a dog—but I couldn’t hold on to any of them more than a single day. It was brutal. There are nights I remember screaming and crying, begging my parents not to make me go to bed. They could never figure out what I was afraid of. They thought it was a monster under the bed, or a ploy to get a few more bedtime stories. I could never really explain, not in a way that made sense to them. I’d tell them I didn’t want to say goodbye, and they’d assure me it wasn’t goodbye. It was just good night. I’d tell them it was the same thing, but they thought I was being silly.

“Eventually I came to peace with it. I had to. I realized that this was my life, and there was nothing I could do about it. I couldn’t fight the tide, so I decided to float along.”

“How many times have you told this story?”

“None. I swear. You’re the first.”

This should make her feel special—it’s meant to make her feel special—but instead it seems to worry her.

“You have to have parents, don’t you? I mean, we all have parents.”

I shrug. “I have no idea. I would think so. But it’s not like there’s anyone I can ask. I’ve never met anyone else like me. Not that I would necessarily know.”

It’s clear from her expression that she thinks this is a sad story I’m telling her—a very sad story. I don’t know how to convey to her that it hasn’t all been sad.

“I’ve glimpsed things,” I say. Then I stop. I don’t know what’s next.

“Go on,” she tells me.

“It’s just—I know it sounds like an awful way to live, but I’ve seen so many things. It’s so hard when you’re in one body to get a sense of what life is really like. You’re so grounded in who you are. But when who you are changes every day—you get to touch the universal more. Even the most mundane details. You see how cherries taste different to different people. Blue looks different. You see all the strange rituals boys have to show affection without admitting it. You learn that if a parent reads to you at the end of the day, it’s a good sign that it’s a good parent, because you’ve seen so many other parents who don’t make the time. You learn how much a day is truly worth, because they’re all so different. If you ask most people what the difference was between Monday and Tuesday, they might tell you what they had for dinner each night. Not me. By seeing the world from so many angles, I get more of a sense of its dimensionality.”

“But you never get to see things over time, do you?” Hanni asks. “I don’t mean to cancel out what you just said. I think I understand that. But you’ve never had a friend that you’ve known day in and day out for ten years. You’ve never watched a pet grow older. You’ve never seen how messed up a parent’s love can be over time. And you’ve never been in a relationship for more than a day, not to mention for more than a year.”

I should have known it would come back to that. “But I’ve seen things,” I tell her. “I’ve observed. I know how it works.”

“From the outside? I don’t think you can know from the outside.”

“I think you underestimate how predictable some things can be in a relationship.”

“I love her,” she says. “I know you don’t understand, but I do.”

“You shouldn’t. I’ve seen her from the inside. I know.”

“For a day. You saw her for a day.”

“And for a day, you saw who she could be. You fell more in love with her when she was me.”

I reach out again for her hand, but this time she says, “No. Don’t.”

I freeze.

“I have a girlfriend,” she says. “I know you don’t like her, and I’m sure there are moments when I don’t like her, either. But that’s the reality. Now, I’ll admit, you have me actually thinking that you are, in fact, the same person who I’ve now met in five different bodies. All this means is that I’m probably as insane as you are. I know you say you love me, but you don’t really know me. You’ve known me a week. And I need a little more than that.”

“But didn’t you feel it that day? On the beach? Didn’t everything seem right?”

There it is again—the pull of the ocean, the song of the universe. A better liar would deny it. But some of us don’t want to live our lives as liars. She bites her lip and nods.

“Yes. But I don’t know who I was feeling that for. Even if I believe it was you, you have to understand that my history with Minji plays into it. I wouldn’t have felt that way with a stranger. It wouldn’t have been so perfect.”

“How do you know?”

“That’s my point. I don’t.”

She looks at her phone, and whether or not she truly needs to leave, I know this is the sign that she’s going to.

“I have to make it back for dinner,” she says.

“Thanks for driving all this way,” I tell her.

It’s awkward. So awkward.

“Will I see you again?” I ask.

She nods.

“I’m going to prove it to you,” I tell her. “I’m going to show you what it really means.”

“What?”

“Love.”

Is she scared by this? Embarrassed? Hopeful?

I don’t know. I’m not close enough to tell.

Beomgyu gives me no small amount of grief when I get home—partly because I went to Starbucks, and partly because I then had to walk two miles to get back home, and was late for dinner, which our father roundly chewed me out over.

“I hope whoever she was, she was worth it,” Beomgyu taunts.

I look at him blankly.

“Dude, don’t try to tell me you were just going for the coffee or the folk tunes they play on the speakers. I know you better than that.”

I remain silent.

I am assigned to wash all the dishes. While doing so, I turn on the radio, and when the local news comes on, Haruto Watanabe comes with it.

“So tell us, Haruto, what you experienced last Saturday,” the interviewer says.

“I was possessed. There’s no other word for it. I wasn’t in control of my own body. I consider myself lucky to be alive. And I want to ask anyone else who’s ever been possessed like this, just for a day, to contact me. Because, I’ll be honest with you, Chuck, a lot of people think I’m crazy. Other kids at school are making fun of me constantly. But I know what happened. And I know I’m not the only one.”

I know I’m not the only one.

This is the sentence that haunts me. I wish I felt the same certainty.

I wish I weren’t the only one.

Day 6004

The next morning I wake up in the same room.

In the same body.

I can’t believe it. I don’t understand. After all these years.

I look at the wall. My hands. The sheets.

And then I look to my side and see Soobin sleeping there in his bed.

Soobin.

And I realize: I’m not in the same body. I’m not on the same side of the room.

No, this morning I’m his twin, Beomgyu.

I have never had this chance before. I watch as Soobin emerges from sleep, emerges from a day away from his old body. I am looking for the traces of that oblivion, the bafflement of that waking. But what I get is the familiar scene of a football player stretching himself into the day. If he feels at all strange, at all different, he’s not showing it.

“Dude, what are you staring at?”

This doesn’t come from Soobin, but from our other brother, Yeonjun.

“Just getting up,” I mumble.

But really, I don’t take my eyes off Soobin. Not through the ride to school. Not at breakfast. He seems a little out of it now, but nothing that couldn’t be explained by a bad night’s sleep.

“How’re you doing?” I ask him.

He grunts. “Fine. Thanks for caring.”

I decide to play dumb. He expects me to be dumb, so it shouldn’t be much of a stretch.

“What did you do after practice yesterday?” I ask.

“I went to Starbucks.”

“Who with?”

He looks at me like I’ve just sung the question to him in falsetto.

“I just wanted coffee, okay? I wasn’t with anyone.”

I study him, to see if he’s trying to cover his conversation with Hanni. I don’t think, though, that such duplicity would be anything but obvious on him.

He really doesn’t remember seeing her. Talking to her. Being with her.

“Then why’d it take so long?” I ask him.

“What, were you timing it? I’m touched.”

“Well, who were you emailing at lunch?”

“I was just checking my email.”

“Your own email?”

“Who else’s email would I be checking? You’re asking seriously weird questions, dude. Isn’t he, Yeonjun?”

Yeonjun chews on some bacon. “I swear, whenever you two talk, I just tune it right out. I have no idea what you’re saying.”

Paradoxically, I wish I were still in Soobin’s body, so I could see exactly what his memories of yesterday are. From where I sit, it appears that he recalls the places he was, but has somehow concocted an alternate version of events, one that fits closer to his life. Has his mind done this, some kind of adaptation? Or did my mind, right before it left, leave behind this storyline?

Soobin does not feel like he was possessed by the devil.

He thinks yesterday was just another day.

Again, the morning becomes a search to find a few minutes’ worth of email access.

I should have given her my phone number, I think.

Then I stop myself. I stand there right in the middle of the hallway, shocked. It’s such a mundane, ordinary observation—but that’s what stops me. In the context of my life, it’s nonsensical. There was no way for me to give her a phone number. I know this. And yet, the ordinary thought crept in, made me trick myself for a moment into thinking that I, too, was ordinary.

I have no idea what this means, but I suspect it’s dangerous.

At lunch, I tell Soobin I’m going to the library.

“Dude,” he says, “libraries are for girls.”

There aren’t any new messages from Hanni, so I write to her instead.

Hanni,

You’d actually recognize me today. I woke up as Soobin’s twin. I thought this might help me figure things out, but so far, no luck.

I want to see you again.

There isn’t anything from Haruto, either. Once more I decide to type his name into a search engine, figuring there might be a few more articles about what he’s saying.

I find over two thousand results. All from the past three days.

Word is spreading. Mostly from evangelical Christian sites, which have bought Haruto’s devil claims wholesale. He is, for them, just another example of the world going to H-E-double-hockey-sticks.

From what I can recall, none of the many versions I heard as a child of “The Boy Who Cried Wolf” spent that much time pondering the emotional state of the boy, especially after the wolf finally showed up. I want to know what Haruto is thinking, if he really believes what he’s saying. None of the articles and blogs are any help—he’s saying the same thing in all of them, and people are painting him as either a freak or an oracle. Nobody’s sitting him down and treating him like a sixteen-year-old boy. They are missing the real questions in order to ask the sensational ones. I open up his last email.

You can’t avoid my questions forever. I want to know who you are. I want to know why you do what you do.

Tell me.

But how can I respond without confirming at least part of the story he’s created? I feel that he’s right—in some way, I can’t avoid his questions forever. They will start to dig into me. They will follow me wherever I wake up. But to give him any answer will give him a reassurance I know I shouldn’t give. It will keep him on his path.

My best bet is for him to start feeling that he is, indeed, crazy. Which is an awful thing to wish upon someone. Especially when he’s not crazy.

I want to ask Hanni what to do. But I can imagine what she’d say. Or maybe I’m just projecting my better self onto her. Because I know the answer: Self-preservation isn’t worth it if you can’t live with the self you’re preserving.

I am responsible for his situation. So he’s become my responsibility.

I know this, even as I hate it.

I’m not going to write immediately. I need to give it some thought. I need to help him without confirming anything.

Finally, by last period, I think I have it.

I know who you are. I’ve seen your story on the news. It doesn’t have anything to do with me—you must have made a mistake.

Still, it appears to me that you’re not considering all the possibilities. I’m sure what happened to you was very stressful. But blaming the devil is not the answer.

I send it off quickly before football practice.

I also check for an email from Hanni.

Nothing.

The rest of the day is uneventful. And I find myself wondering once again when I started to think my days would contain actual events. Up until now, I have lived for uneventfulness, and have found smaller satisfaction in the art of getting by. I resent that the hours seem boring now, emptier. Going through the motions gives you plenty of time to examine the motions. I used to find this interesting. Now it has taken on the taint of meaninglessness.

I practice football. I get a ride home. I do some homework. I eat some dinner. I watch TV with my family.

This is the trap of having something to live for:

Everything else seems lifeless.

Soobin and I go to bed first. Yeonjun is in the kitchen, talking to our mother about his work schedule for the weekend. Soobin and I don’t say anything as we change into our sleep clothes, as we parade to the bathroom and back.

I get in bed and he turns out the light. I expect to hear him getting into bed next, but instead he hovers in the middle of the room.

“Beomgyu?”

“Yeah?”

“Why did you ask me about what I was up to yesterday?”

I sit up. “I don’t know. You just seemed a little … off.”

“I just thought it was strange. You asking, I mean.”

He heads to his bed now. I hear his weight fall on the mattress.

“So nothing seemed off to you?” I ask, hoping that there will be something—anything—that rises to the surface.

“Not that I can think of. I thought it was pretty funny that Snyder had to end practice so he could go, like, learn how to help his babymama breathe. But I think that was the highlight. It’s just … do I seem off today, too?”

The truth is that I haven’t been paying that much attention, not since breakfast.

“Why do you ask?”

“No reason. I feel fine. I just don’t, you know, want to look like there’s something wrong when there’s nothing wrong.”

“You seem fine,” I assure him.

“Good,” he says, shifting his body, getting into the right position with his pillow.

I want to say more but don’t know what the words are supposed to be. I feel such a tenderness for these vulnerable nighttime conversations, the way words take a different shape in the air when there’s no light in the room. I think of the rare jackpot nights when I ended the day at a sleepover or shared the room with a sibling or a friend I genuinely liked. Those conversations could trick me into believing I could say anything, even though there was so much I was holding back. Eventually, the night would take its hold, but it would always feel like I was fading to sleep rather than falling.

“Good night,” I say to Soobin. But what I really feel is goodbye. I am leaving here, leaving this family. It’s only been two days, but that’s twice what I’m used to. It’s just a hint—the smallest hint—of what it would be like to wake up in the same place every morning.

I have to let that go.

#Hanni x reader #Hanni Pham #Pham Hanni #Hanni Pham x reader #newjeans #newjeans fanfic #hanni pham #new jeans #nwjns #NewJeans Imagines #Newjeans imagine #Newjean Fanfic #NewJeans Fanfic #newjeans fic #newjeans imagine #Newjeans x reader

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usmsgutterson · 2 years

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The Halloweek of Angst: DAY EIGHT

Halloween- Kaz Brekker

Okay!! Final day of the halloweek event, but not the final day of fic consistence!! I have another event starting in roughly seven hours, and that’s fics every sunday, monday, wednesday and friday for all of november because when I listened to Midnights by Taylor Swift, I decided I simply couldn’t resist.

Fic type- I was aiming for angst but I think I landed more in hurt/comfort territory

Warnings- kaz is probably a bit ooc, and for those reading who aren’t cat people, a cat does show up in this

THE FIRST OCTOBER

“I do not, for the record,” you said to Jesper as the two of you walked up Fifth Harbor.

The walks had been a weekly tradition of yours since Jesper had initially joined up with the Dregs, the two of you meeting at a place along the harbor that sold tea for a steep price and walking along the streets of it for a bit, needing an excuse to vent and window shop without judgement.

“You do,” Jesper said. “You are in love with him, Y/N. Kaz would see it, too, if he weren’t so adamant that love was a weakness, if he would confront his feelings when he felt them rather than saving such things for when he quite literally can’t avoid confronting them anymore.”

“I do not love Kaz Brekker,” you said. “I am not in love with him. I never have been in love with him, and I never will be.” But you were lying, both to Jesper and to yourself.

You’d been in love with Kaz Brekker since you were fifteen years old. At eighteen, the only thing you had to acknowledge that were letters that you’d been writing to nobody in particular, ones in which you described or mentioned it.

“I know that he doesn’t love you back, and I respect you for being able to handle that,” Jesper said. “If Wylan didn’t love me too, I ought to think I might perhaps just go mad with it.”

You could handle a love that forever remained unrequited. You could.

Or, really, you supposed it was something you told yourself to make getting through the day with the knowledge that Kaz Brekker did not love you and simply never would a bit easier. You told yourself such things to avoid acknowledging that your love would remain unrequited until you moved passed it, found someone else who could take up your every waking thought.

“Have you bought the boat tickets yet?” Jesper asked, changing the subject only slightly as he noticed you didn’t respond. ”Have you even given it enough thought?”

“One boat ticket to Ravka,” you nodded. “I board on Halloween.”

“Will you be back?” Jesper asked. “Don’t you dare tell me I’m losing my best friend because they can’t get over someone who can’t even nicely cut his own hair.”

You laughed as Jesper wrapped an arm around your shoulders, shaking your head before you thought further and only found yourself able to shrug.

“I’ll be back for at least one month of the year,” you said. “I just can’t keep seeing him, Jes. I need to stop loving the man who views it as a weakness and I can only do that by leaving.”

Jesper sighed. “I loved him once, too,” he paused. “I thought I did, anyway. Moving on was both one of the easiest and the best things I’ve ever done.”

With the words, the two of you continued your walk, changing the subject with relative ease as you did.

----

The next week and a half went exactly as you’d expected it to. You didn’t do anything that would’ve made Kaz at all think that you were leaving. You said no to jobs that would be done in November, you distanced yourself from him bit by bit, and the morning of the day that you were to leave, you gathered every letter you’d written in which you mentioned Kaz’s name or how you felt.

You tucked the letters into an old box that had long stopped being used for what of the jewelry you possessed. You taped a note with the words ‘for kaz brekker’ on it to the lid, and with an hour left til you had to board, you dropped the letters in front of Kaz’s office door.

When you had thirty minutes still to board, Kaz found you sitting on a bench near the area where the boat that was whisking you off to Ravka would soon dock.

“So that’s it?” He asked, keeping his eyes on the harbor, refusing to look at you much like you did him. “You’re leaving, and you don’t know when you’ll be coming back around? And it’s my fault?”

“It’s nobodies fault except for my own.”

“You’re leaving because you’re in love with me, so I’m a little inclined to believe your absence is my fault.”

“I’m leaving because it is my choice to do so,” you said. “I left you those letters so that you might understand. Not so that you could skim through them and confront me in the last thirty minutes before I am to leave.”

“Perhaps it is the truth that you should not have left me them at all, then,” he said. “I cannot lose you, Y/N.”

“You’re not losing me. I may return to Ketterdam. If you read the letters in full, you’d see that I discussed the possibility of my return.”

Kaz sighed. “Promise to write to me, at least.”

“I refuse to make you any kind of a promise until I do not love you anymore,” you said, even though the part of you that did love him was screaming to tell him yes. You would write him, and the letters would be page after page of even the most useless things, just so that something may have occupied his mind that was not his work, that was not the clubs or the next heist.

“Well then, I wish you luck in your new venture,” Kaz said. “If you come back to Ketterdam and find yourself in need of a place to stay, your room at the Slat will never have an occupant who is not you.”

With the words, Kaz got up, leaving. You didn’t dare turn to watch him go, only listened to the sound of his cane against the ground, wiped a stray tear from your cheek when you registered that it’d faded, that the distance between the two of you had grown larger and would continue to until you were a literal ocean apart.

You straightened your shoulders and forced your composure to return to normal. You would not regret your decision. You simply refused.

THE SECOND OCTOBER

Jesper grinned as he spotted you walking down the steps of the Slat, hair styled in a way that it was not when he’d seen you last. Inej grinned when she noticed your presence, too, as did Nina and Wylan.

“Saints!” Jesper said. “I thought Kaz was lying for a second, really. How long do we have you with us?”

“Three months,” you said. “My boat doesn’t leave until after the new year.”

Inej pulled you into a hug as Kaz approached. You almost stilled the moment you heard his cane against the ground. It’d been a year, and still, the love hadn’t faded.

You sat down in one of the chairs at the round table, running a hand through your hair and finding that you suddenly wanted nothing more than to be back in Ravka, working at one of the more successful shops in the city and living in your perfect little townhouse.

“Brandy is what your preference is now, right?” Kaz asked “Ravkan brandy, specifically? I read up on it. They make it a bit sweeter over there.”

“Yeah,” you nodded. “Thanks. I didn’t expect you to remember that.”

Kaz shrugged as he sat down, sliding the glass into your area of the table. You caught it with an opened palm, looking at the liquid and fighting the urge to slam the entire thing in one go.

“Three months?” Kaz asked.

“Fortunately, yeah,” you said. “For every six weeks you work, you get two off. I don’t need to work a full year anymore. Nine months is enough, and it’s PTO, so I’m not missing out on important paychecks. I did decently for myself, I might say.”

You took the cup into one hand, brought it to your lips and took a sip of the brandy. Jesper and Nina both shot you looks, and Inej gave one to Kaz. All of those looks said the same thing.

We’ll discuss this later, and if you spare a single detail, you will be stabbed.

The conversation continued, and over time, it grew less and less awkward, until eventually, things felt as they once had. You were in love with Kaz but content enough just getting to be in his company, getting to hear his voice. You were telling yourself that unrequited love was something you could handle, though you could not, and you knew it.

----

“You wrote letters to him?” Nina asked. “Y/N, my dearest, my closest friend in life, my confidante secondary only to Matthias and waffles, that is not how you get past loving someone. Writing to them is not how you fall out of love. If anything, writing to them drags you deeper into it. It’s relentless and the opposite of fun, truly.”

“I do not love him,” but you did.

“You’re a terrible liar, did you know that?” Jesper asked. You were walking along the harbor, much like you and Jesper used to, the tea each of you held having gone mostly forgotten.

“I don’t!” You said again.

“Look at me. Make direct eye contact--or look at a point behind me, if you can’t make it--and tell me that you are not in love with him. I’ll believe it when you say it and sound like you mean it.”

“I’m not going to do that.”

“Because you can’t say it without sounding like a liar!”

“Because I don’t want to,” you said. “I’ve been in love with Kaz Brekker for four years now. Distance was supposed to solve that issue, but...”

Jesper sighed, smiling reminiscently. “Ah yes. Distance does tend to make the heart grow fonder, especially when there are letters involved.”

“I loved him then, and I love him still,” you said. “I resent the fact that I don’t think I’ll ever stop. If I stopped loving him, I could live here full time again. I could look at his face, be in his presence without asking myself ‘what if?’ I could have my life back.”

“Perhaps the universe is making you play the long game,” Nina suggested. “A year is an awfully long time, isn’t it? Who knows, maybe when you’re back in town next year, he’ll be head over heels.”

You shrugged. “I can hope, but I need to practice some realism.”

Jesper shook his head. “Life is so much more fun when you don’t. Dream a little bit.”

You shook your head, taking a sip of your cold tea and feeling endlessly grateful for the people you called best friends.

THE THIRD OCTOBER

“You’re in love with Y/N,” Inej said as she joined up with Kaz. “You’ve really just realized this now?” Kaz scoffed at her words.

The two of them were heading back to the Slat. When they arrived, Kaz would go to his office, fully anticipating that the key to your room on the second floor would be removed from the drawer he kept it in, on the right side of his desk in a small box.

Like it’d been last year, Kaz also anticipated that you’d leave the box on his desk in show of the fact that you’d been there, a stack of what letters you hadn’t sent sat in a pile to the left of it.

“I am not in love with them,” he said, but he’d been lying. “Do you think they’ve arrived yet? I was going to ask that they assist with a heist near Halloween.”

“If they stay that long, I do think they’ll say no,” Inej said. “They’ve grown out of criminality, Kaz. They work nine months of the year, take fall and the first part of winter off. They make good money, have a cat. I can’t imagine they’d risk that to help you with an act of thievery.”

Kaz shrugged.

“Perhaps they would, though. They’ve written that they miss it sometimes.” Kaz didn’t allow himself to feel anything other than precisely nothing as the two entered the Slat, going their separate ways. Inej went off to find Jesper and Kaz went to his office.

He spotted the box where he kept your room key sat on his desk, along with a note in your handwriting.

Any heists you’ve got in the next three months, I want in.

He allowed himself a grin for a moment, simply because of how familiar it felt.

----

“Is there any possibility at all, that you still...” Kaz found himself trailing off as you walked, side by side, after a quick heist that resulted mostly in jewelry. None of it was worth more than 2000 kruge on it’s own, and you’d grabbed as much as could fit in the cases you brought along, which you stuffed into a bag that Matthias had hauled back to the Slat so that the jewelry could be taken to the buyer on time.

You gave Kaz a grin, and he found himself resisting the oh-so familiar urge to ignore the way that it pulled at him, the way that it made his heart set itself to a racing pace.

“I do not,” you said. “That’s what i think, anyway. I’ve grown so used to it that, normally when it comes up, I can hardly tell the difference between loving you in the romantic sense and the platonic one. Why do you ask?”

Kaz swallowed thickly. “Just curious as to when you’ll finally move back here full time, is all.” Some part of him didn’t want you to, though. He’d been trying to get past his feelings since they’d initially showed up two years before, in the last two weeks before you’d left.

Two years had passed by, and still, the feelings were there, seeming to have only intensified with the distance that you put between yourselves, an ocean and a fair bit of land to go with it.

Kaz watched you grin, gaze turning to the ground before you looked up again, meeting his.

“Give me one more October, Kaz.”

Kaz nodded. “You can take all the time you need,”

Kaz Brekker could handle a love that forever remained unrequited. He could.

Or, really, he supposed it was just something he told himself. He could handle loving you across an ocean, could handle only having your letters as often as he would’ve liked to enjoy your presence. He could handle a love that existed in all times of the year but could only be spoke during the last three months when you arrived to Ketterdam to soak up the fall and the winter weather, which you’d always said was best in Ketterdam, anyway.

But, even despite what he told himself, Kaz also knew himself.

A love that remained unrequited was something many may have been able to handle, but there was some part of Kaz that could not.

THE FOURTH OCTOBER

“Y/N is probably going to stay here permanently, you realize?” Inej asked as she plucked the black cat from the ground. She glimpsed the name tag, grinning at it. “Why bring a cat otherwise?”

Kaz sighed, reluctantly reaching out and running a gloved hand across black fur.

“When I asked, they simply didn’t tell me,” he said. “I told them we had something to discuss when they arrived in the letter I wrote. I can’t keep going as I am.”

“It’s only taken you, well, how long now?”

“Four years,” Kaz said, glimpsing the cats nametag.

Crow. When he’d learned the name of the cat, he thought it was a little absurd. Looking at the cat, a black fluffball with a scratchy meow and a love for stupidly high windowsills, he almost hated how fitting it actually was.

“Finally!” Inej said, pressing a kiss to the cats forehead before placing it on the ground. Like it was clockwork, the cat rounded the table at which they sat and jumped onto Kaz’s lap. “Took you fucking long enough, didn’t it?”

Kaz gingerly ran a hand across Crows back as Crow rested his chin against the edge of the table, his purr so loud that it would’ve been heard by any passerby.

“I don’t know that it’ll go how I’m hoping, but we’ll see.”

“Y/N looks at you like you’re their entire world, Kaz. Knowing that, I wouldn’t hold onto very many doubts.” Kaz shrugged.

“I’m just going to say it,” he said. “I’ll ask them to consider staying. I can’t--I can’t watch them leave again.”

Inej nodded, and Kaz ran a hand over Crows head, in the space between his ears, mentally going into the contemplative mindset as he did.

----

Kaz almost grinned as he sat down on the bench, the exact same spot he’d sat in four years before. You were sat to his right, eyes watching as the boats docked and left the harbor.

“You wanted to talk?”

“It is my responsibility and mine own to tell you that the feelings you felt for me when you left on this day, four years ago, are reciprocated,” Kaz said. He adjusted his cane so that it was resting against the side of the bench, gripping it like it were an anchor, of sorts.

“I was a coward four years ago. I let you leave when I shouldn’t’ve. I should’ve told you how I felt, but I didn’t. I’m sorry.”

“You don’t need to be,” you spoke. Kaz turned his head, allowed himself to look at you. “I get it. There was a reason I didn’t tell you how I felt until the day I left. I wanted you to read those letters and at least know. I’m sorry if it shocked you, I just felt like I had an obligation.”

“You did shock me, but it was mostly because I hadn’t expected you to feel the same way, much less for you to leave in order to get over it,” Kaz said. “I tried to do the same, Y/N. It just seemed like--no matter the distance, I simply could not.”

You turned to look at him, and Kaz felt his heart begin to race as your gaze met his and you grinned.

“Well then, I’ll stay,” you said. “I’ve come back here wanting to every time. There’s no point in leaving anymore.”

“What of your job, your home?”

“My job accepts resignation letters from abroad. I’ll have to go back to Ravka to collect the remainder of my things, but it appears that my not being able to find a cat sitter does me good. It removes the largest object of worry. I’ll sell my townhouse, come back here, and invest the money into something good. I’ve missed our heists, Kaz.”

Kaz allowed himself a grin. “As have I.”

Kaz glimpsed his pocket watch. It was just after four bells in the afternoon. Perfect for a dinner, he would’ve assumed. “Do you have the date?”

“It’s Halloween,” you said.

“Ah, well then, I think I owe you dinner,” he said.

You scoffed. “Halloween and a meal correlate how?”

“They correlate in that there’s a decent show in an hour. I’d much like to take you to dinner beforehand, though. You told me about your time in Ravka, but you didn’t divulge all the specifics. I’m eager to hear more about how you came into contact with the small black hole that has probably found a home across Inejs shoulders by now.”

You grinned as you got to standing, Kaz following suit.

“C’mon then. I’ll bore you with the specifics.”

“I can’t wait.”

#kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker #six of crows

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punkscowardschampions · 2 years

Text

Buster & Rio Pt.1

Buster: [Okay, so this boy showing up to this St Paddy’s day function, I assume we’re starting at the pub even if y’all end up going somewhere else, serving a look and just effortlessly making an entrance because he is that bitch, probably making an immediate move to Fearghal because only one of this fam we actually fuck with haha]

Rio: [Meanwhile I am sure we’re monopolizing Baby Libi because she just turned 1 about a month ago and we are that bitch lmao, just showing her ‘round this entire fam because you know Edie and Liam will not bother to do that; obviously noticing your entrance but also can’t use that as an excuse to come up to you so probably coming for Ava and Bea’s life with this baby instead]

Buster: [lowkey can and will avoid her like the plague using poor baby Libi as the reason why because no way you aren’t slightly bothered baby Jay exists and is basically the same age even if you’re hardcore pretending you don’t care and it’s nothing to do with you cos not actually made of stone, obviously has also noticed that she looks amazing though, the child can’t distract him that hard, I imagine you’re just having a drink and a catch up with your granddad, maybe playing some pool or darts because competitive and a lad]

Rio: [at least they will want their baby returned to them at some point miss thing so you can’t just use her as a shield forever for a reason to not say hi to the men in this family because you are that social butterfly and you must talk to everyone who is here, even Nancy which I’m sure is a joy, such a joy you’re like okay I’ll make us some drinks, bantering like Fearghal can’t make cocktails and you have to do it, just going behind this bar to fix whatever y’all girls are having]

Buster: [love this chance for him to ask her to make him a v specific martini because your parents are baze and love the classics + we all remember your dad being a James Bond fan lol so you simply would for the pure bants if nothing else]

Rio: [and you would’ve also secured your bar job by now because 18 also necessary, so again, thank God you’re this bitch, although the way randoms in this pub would be trying to order after Buster too so you’re just like oh no, only if you tip me really well vibes ‘cos not here to work people, just handing him this drink like 😏 ‘thanks a lot’ @ this crowd of people he’s made appear]

Buster: [we all know he’s tipping her really well like she works her and he doesn’t know her for the pure bants and because they really are these rich cunt relatives, giving a smirk back for that and the taste of this drink he’s having a sip of as he hovers instead of leaving ‘you’re welcome’ as if y’all are both being sincere]

Rio: [pocketing that by which I mean putting it in your bra ‘cos no way you’ve got pockets on whatever you’re wearing sis, shrugging amused like hope you didn’t expect me to insist you take that back ‘cos not gonna ‘likewise’ with a more sincere smile than your previous smirk]

Buster: [do your best to pretend you’re not checking your cousin out when she does that, at least you’ve had plenty of practice at that by this point, boy, cos in this universe we don’t trust your shady twin so you can’t be blatant af, his own shrug like however much he gave her is nothing because clearly to you it isn’t you spoiled bitch]

Rio: [she isn’t gay and oblivious now, you’re definitely not getting away with it, she’s also probably trying to drag Rio away right now because who else is she hanging out with, not even poor child Grace yet though she will humour you which you will love girl; meanwhile we’d lowkey rather stay here working a shift shamelessly but you can’t because you have to be nice, get dragged away to dance and God knows what else]

Buster: [Grace so hardcore shadowing both Rio and Nancy at this function, I’m cringing, meanwhile Buster is probably getting behind the bar himself and making Ava and Janis something swag so they feel grown up and cool and stay away from Nancy because that sort of brother, a bad influence but in a fun and cute way, goes without saying he do keep looking over though, of course he must, we can pretend it’s like oh god what’s my twin doing now and not how hot does my cousin wanna be]

Rio: [the nod of thanks we cannot verbalise from across the room for also including Janis, as if she has any interest in Nancy but anyway, Grace is bad enough and we’re basically just supervising because you can’t tell me Nancy isn’t just doing bumps at the table like well, I’m not going to get kicked out and Rio is like could you fucking go to the bathroom you mess because not trying to let any child here see this tah, just taking her stash off her like it’s a fun game like you’ll have to come find me when you want some but it’s basic toddler tactics honestly]

Buster: [she is SUCH a mess and nobody here needs it, literally the only reason he hasn’t dragged his sister away rn is because not trying to look like a killjoy but gal you’re on thin ice, hence ruster exchanging a look when he sees what Rio is doing like yeah good thinking, so glad you’ve spared the twin brawl]

Rio: [we all know this is the start of you being your peak flop era when it becomes so apparent you have no plans to go to uni or get a job or do anything with your life, ugh; mouthing ‘you owe me’ and pointing at whatever Ava and Janis are drinking like there you go]

Buster: [simply must say he gets waylaid by being flirted with by a random girl or girls who saw his little flit behind the bar and then heard him speak and are like you’re very posh to be behind there, he’s not making them drinks because never, thank you, but it’ll be ages before Rio gets hers because he’ll have come out from behind there to talk to this random/randoms and she’s gonna think she’s not getting it ever honestly, but then he’ll appear with it and wordlessly exchange it for his sister’s stash just to fuck her over and because he’ll actually use it more responsibly and is more deserving than you, Nancy]

Rio: [we realistically know whoever you’re flirting with because the Dublin of it all so we can roll our eyes like we’re doing it at them and not you, will also happily hand over this stash because we can say we just did it all ourself because what she would’ve done if it was the other way ‘round ‘having fun?’ when we do this little exchange]

Buster: [‘not yet’ again we can pretend he’s saying this as if the stash will make everything better and not as if things might start looking up now y’all are in close proximity and Nancy is clearly distracted by Grace for a sec]

Rio: [properly making eye contact ‘cos can’t be as blatant any other way yet ‘night’s still young’ with an anything can happen sort of sound and gesture]

Buster: [‘yeah’ as he holds the eye contact because agreed, walking away but doing his own subtle gesture like follow me because there’s a stash to get through here and of course we’re not gonna be as blatant as Nancy about it when we can instead be alone in a confined space]

Rio: [obviously we are following you, at least Nancy and Grace aren’t being left alone and with a stash of coke, your mother and other adults are in the room, even if distracted themselves lol; just casually both need the loo excuse us, at least no one in this fam is stupid so it just looks like you’re both off to do some drugs only and not lowkey flirt too]

Buster: [they can’t come for you when Nancy was literally just doing hers off a beer mat, it’s FINE, they’ll all be happy you’re both using the right amount of discretion, setting up these lines of coke like the gentleman he isn’t, hooray for the pub perks or not having to be with all these randoms who’d wanna join in, none of y’all are invited, bye]

Rio: [just watching you do this not at all casually for a while here ‘the last thing she needs tonight’ like you’re doing Nancy a massive favour ‘cos lowkey but it’s more a favour to everyone else here]

Buster: [‘the last thing anyone else here trying to have a good night needs, is what you wish you could say’ because you basically said as much anyway and he will just go there because hate her]

Rio: [‘not my sister’ like I only have to deal with her in very short and infrequent doses, so I don’t need to go that hard but you can because obviously, we can see what she’s like even if we’re not putting the words to it]

Buster: [‘not the sister I’ll be flying back to spend my hols with’ full shade, we only love Ava and that’s nobody’s fault but your own in this universe sis, knowing and thinking about going away to uni because that’s looming]

Rio: [‘your mum said you’re coming here’ ‘cos what else, can’t exactly be bragging about Nancy or her lack of achievements there ‘well, all fingers crossed, like’ it sounds like you’re buzzing and not just saying if he did well in all his exams]

Buster: [‘I accepted Trinity’s offer to do Law’ like yeah she’s correct and it’s all so casual ‘it’s unconditional, they’re not taking it back unless I send Nancy to take every exam in my place’ imagine that dyslexic flop lol is the energy of his tone because they really don’t, your predicted grades are that high they’ve given you the place already, you’d really have to fuck up]

Rio: [raising your eyebrows like oh, well there you go then ‘you always were smart’ like we’re not surprised because not]

Buster: [a look like oh please, because he believes smart means you don’t have to try and he really does put the work in despite all his obvious privilege you can’t say he doesn’t study hard and do all the extracurriculars and all that nonsense ‘I’ve worked hard all through school’ but doing the line to show he plays as hard too because duh]

Rio: [shaking our head ‘only you would try to take that as an insult’ like ffs boy, I was being nice ‘that was actually rude though’ like excuse me, ladies first]

Buster: [‘only you would offer me that backhanded of a compliment’ true because everyone else in your life is feeding your ego, we know, doing another smirk as if he’s unrepentant but then making the line he’s left for her fatter to make up for it]

Rio: [‘you know where to go if you wanna hear sweet nothings’ tilting our head towards the door and thus out to the party and the randoms but taking the line with a grin like I’ll be having that first though, throwing your head back dramatically for the visual]

Buster: [‘They do sound slightly sweeter around here, but it’s still as inconsequential, empty by definition and boring as a result’ the irish accent is it and we’re not gonna lie but the nothing of it is so true and he is so bored of it, clearly, DO NOT AT ALL need to be wiping the coke off her nostril but is for the not at casualness of it]

Rio: [‘and would you be bored at home, tonight?’ because we know you’re bored of all of it but may as well phrase it like a question here, do his purely like you’re making things fair here so you can lick that off your finger]

Buster: [‘I’d have home to myself’ because everyone is here, so correct, you would, but the implication it’d be a crime to be bored in that case and he’d have to do everything he possibly could not to be because he’s that bitch ‘it wouldn’t be an option’]

Rio: [‘sure your mates’ families probably played a huge role in keeping the Irish in their place’ like yeah, reason enough to have a party lol ‘granda wouldn’t have to know’]

Buster: [‘if it’s supposed to be a secret it isn’t very well kept, then again, our family likes them that way’ because seriously, this family airs all it’s dirty laundry too publicly and always has lol]

Rio: [a noise in agreement because no denying that ‘someone has to be respectable for us’ straightening his collar as if it needs it]

Buster: [I’m assuming she’s wearing a dress and it’s short because I know her so smoothing it as if it got so creased by her bending down to do a line of coke and pulling it down a little bit as if it’s too indecent and we have to, none of this is how you’d be touching your cousin, excuse you]

Rio: [correct lmao, just STARING down at what you’re doing betraying how uncasual we feel about this, even if we’re doing our utmost to keep that conceit going here ‘think that ship might’ve sailed’ like hadn’t you heard]

Buster: [‘honestly, I think this is a really appropriate dress’ as if it’s just a synonym for respectable and we’re not giving you a flirty af compliment]

Rio: [laughing and pushing him like he was actually insulting you under the guise of a fake compliment and doing an impression of his oh please look like I know I look good, boy]

Buster: [‘Oh come on, as in it’s worthy of you, not decent to wear when doing stolen lines off pub toilets’ as if she’s offended and thinks we’re saying she looks like a cheap hoe instead of the compliment we really gave]

Rio: [‘Robin Hood sort of stolen though’ like we’re more deserving and in need of said drugs right now ‘you look good too’ because we can give a compliment, does it need to be now when you’re in this close proximity, not really but here we go]

Buster: [‘It cost [and telling her however much it did for your ootn, I dread to think]’ like 1. I should and 2. Who are you calling poor lol because of the Robin Hood of it all]

Rio: [‘send my regards to your parents’ as a *correction there]

Buster: [‘of course, along with your sympathies for the clothes Nancy decided to spend their hard earned cash on’ because whatever she’s wearing tonight, he does not like it haha]

Rio: [‘be two cards otherwise’ ‘cos not going to come to her defence here soz girl]

Buster: [‘unheard of generosity’ because of the twins having to share everything cliche, not that baze are those bitches but I’m sure plenty of your friends are as mine were]

Rio: [‘I never did that’ ‘cos we would never be that bitch but we are a bitch who’d remember everyone’s birthday and actually give a shit to make sure to say happy birthday in some way or other]

Buster: [‘no, you didn’t’ like it’s lowkey occurring to him for the first time that she was never that bitch]

Rio: [pressing your index finger into his forehead like he’s got a foggy drug-addled brain ‘need another line, you’ ‘cos it don’t last fuck all time]

Buster: [pushing her away just far enough that he’s got the space to set the next ones up but doing it with his body just to be that extra about it]

Rio: [‘this you daring me?’ ‘cos so clearly going to do it before we actually do]

Buster: [‘unless you want a truth’ with a lol because that’s what peeps who are too scared of the dares pick]

Rio: [‘not scared of either’ because realistically, as not children, people could get the real tea with a truth worse than whatever they could dare you to do]

Buster: [‘good to know, babe’ calling her babe for the first time this convo because he’s his father’s son]

Rio: [‘don’t think [whatever kid you was playing with who can still exist] is here’ like he’d remember this memory as vividly as y’all]

Buster: [‘your charity knows no bounds tonight’ as if if he was she’d invite him in here for a line because Robin Hood vibes ‘but as he’s not-’ gesturing like go on, have your line, ladies first]

Rio: [do do that, so you don’t look like you’re stalling for time here, can pretend the red cheeks is a pure blood rush from the coke and not actually doing that, lean back against the door and put your hand on the handle as if you’re gonna open it and make it a free for all but obviously we’re not]

Buster: [grabbing her wrist as if he’s gotta to stop her and isn’t doing it purely because again he’s his father’s son and the coat sleeve is the most romantic baze gesture of all time, then when he has done that, wiping her nose free of coke again as if he thought she was going and was hence like no wait I’ve gotta do that first]

Rio: [the intake of breath that can never be fully played off as casual ‘you haven’t had your seconds’ slightly quieter than the standard tone we were using before, like I couldn’t possibly leave yet, would be too rude]

Buster: [the ‘wait’ that likewise can’t be played off as casual or yeah I know so hang on vibes because the WAY he’s LOOKING at her as he says it and for a beat to long before he eventually does break it off to do this line]

Rio: [mad at yourself for reminding him because you wanna just keep making this EYE CONTACT, at least you have the excuse of seeing how big his pupils are when he has done it like oh hi, just checking you don’t look insane, if we MUST leave]

Buster: [and you have the excuse to shamelessly check her out fully in the way that you could not when you walked in as if she’s suddenly gonna go out there and be flashing everyone or something if you don’t despite the fact neither of you are in here to have a piss]

Rio: [‘it’s not that short’ slight 😏 ‘cos it very much is]

Buster: [‘like I said, it’s the ideal length’ cos we’re so about it and we don’t have to pretend we’re not when nobody else is here]

Rio: [shaking your head purely so you can hide in your hair for a sec ‘right the first time but you needed to double check?’]

Buster: [‘I didn’t get into Trinity by slacking on what’s important’ like yes, I have great priorities, thank you]

Rio: [‘can make anything sound like a positive on a form’ like we both know how to bullshit]

Buster: [‘this isn’t what me bullshitting you sounds like’ cos you both know that]

Rio: [‘I know-’ cut yourself off because you think you hear someone washing their hands or something ‘how it sounds is half the problem’]

Buster: [getting in her grill to whisper whether someone is actually there or not ‘I don’t do things by halves’ like no we can’t have that ‘all or nothing’ fully in her ear, there’s NO need]

Rio: [‘is that even a question?’ having instinctively moved back closer to him when he’s in your ear]

Buster: [‘I wanna hear the answer’ just out here being that blatant]

Rio: [‘Of course you do’ as blatant as the tone we’re saying that in]

Buster: [‘give it to me’ SO indecently in her grill that we’re going to need Nancy to cockblock y’all because she would, looking for her stash if just not being outright nosy af]

Rio: [you can be relied upon to kill the vibe sis, the way our mouth would be open about to say what, who knows now, not moving to open this door ‘cos we don’t want to be the one to do it]

Buster: [him literally being like ‘fuck off, Nance, this is an intervention’ loud enough to be heard through this closed door because he knows it’s her even before she’s said or done anything, so annoyed lol]

Rio: [amused but not trying to fully laugh ‘cos maybe if she thinks he’s in here with a random she won’t be as cockblocky, nice try, babe]

Buster: [just like ‘go away, I know you haven’t’ cos we know damn well she’s just lurking here trying to annoy him]

Rio: [the temptation to just throw her baggy at her like you would then have any reason to be hiding in here, then having an idea and sending her a text being like where are you come find me vibes so at least you can leave unseen, even if the vibe is ruined]

Buster: [a necessary evil before you two get too carried away]

Buster: Cheers for doing that so I didn’t have to tell mum and dad she [+ something scandalous she did recently that he knows but that baze don’t need to because she’s enough of a flop]

Rio: No problem, seeing how long I can avoid her is vaguely entertaining

Buster: It used to be for me too before it was daily and the novelty wore off

Rio: I can imagine

Rio: you never know, a term at uni, or two, might change things

Buster: I changed my mind about America, it’s not looking likely I’ll get amnesia from some OTT hazing ritual

Rio: I’m pleased you’re not going to be sacrificed in the name of some Greek letters and try-hard yanks

Buster: they have worse drinking games than the try-hard rich kids I’m already at school with, I’d die of boredom before their bullshit pranks could come for me

Rio: leavers going be it for you and your mates, then?

Buster: Never say never, I’ll probably see a percentage of them in the courtroom

Rio: in their defence or 🤔

Buster: if they can afford me

Rio: fair, money talks

Buster: What are you spending yours on?

Rio: Long as you don’t want it back if you disagree

Buster: you earned it for a better class of martini than I’ve had in most of [the london postcode]

Rio: Surprising how badly you can fuck up a classic, see it happen all the time though

Buster: I’m surprised you’re not used to it how often it goes on everywhere

Buster: clothes, films, drinks, cars, even drugs

Rio: Don’t need the bad influence affecting me, I guess

Buster: Sounds like your mum influencing you ✌️

Rio: Classic isn’t how I’d describe anything she does but

Buster: Mine would be offended as hell if we did

Rio: Could be worse, you could’ve told her [the scandalous thing Nancy did]

Buster: that reaction would be harder to find funny

Rio: is she going to do the whole gap year thing?

Rio: that’ll be a break for the rest of your family too

Buster: And leave Chelsea? Christ no, she wouldn’t dare

Rio: 🙄

Buster: Why are we talking about Nancy?

Rio: that’s a good question

Rio: but I will end up talking about her some more if I answer so you better change the subject

Buster: We’re both high and you’re not scared of truth, you could tell me anything

Rio: you might be

Buster: nothing scares me, I’m as close to invincible as it’s possible for a non celeb to be

Rio: Intriguing

Buster: Obvious, is more accurate

Buster: I don’t have to face real, lasting consequences, what would I have to fear?

Rio: Put like that, nothing

Buster: Yeah, like I just said

Rio: I’ll probably buy myself some new shoes, as you wanted to know

Buster: [a number of inches that would mean she can reach his face easier but still be able to walk without it being insanity LOL, I can’t remember what y’all’s height difference is exactly but I know she’s smol] heels

Rio: that would look hot as fuck

Buster: You look hot as fuck with no shoes on, but it’d be hot as fuck having you at that height

Rio: I’ll show you, when I do

Buster: don’t take your shoes off here, no cunt can keep their drink in the glass

Rio: or their glass in their hands

Buster: I can’t risk you getting hurt for me

Rio: you’re kinda cute when you’re high

Buster: you’d be kinda annoyed when I ruined your photo op by having to come find you before you broke your ankle

Rio: you can have shoes that aren’t for walking in, it’s okay

Buster: And I could carry you either way, problem solved

Rio: only the polite thing to do, after-all

Buster: go wild, by all means, babe

Rio: tah for your permission 😘

Buster: It’d be mean of me not to give it when I know how badly you want it

Rio: you might have some idea

Buster: of course I do

Rio: tell me how

Buster: I can tell by looking at you, but I don’t have to be

Rio: Only a bit glad you aren’t right now

Buster: I’m sure you know drinking games that could give me amnesia whenever you start to feel like I have too much power or too many of your worst kept secrets

Rio: It’s not like you can use it against me

Buster: wrong twin, I don’t care about playing with you like that

Rio: there’s no fun in those kind of games

Buster: I don’t need to tell you the fun we could have

Rio: I hate you for being related to me and looking like you do

Buster: Hate my parents, it’s all their fault, not mine

Rio: but then you wouldn’t be here otherwise so

Buster: and you do still want me here, you can’t hate me as much as wishing I wasn’t

Rio: ‘course I do

Rio: it’s the other people that are the issue

Buster: Eventually we’ll get it out of our system, us alone, no interruptions

Rio: I might be wasted but I’ll hold you to that, promise

Buster: good point, we shouldn’t be wasted when we do

Rio: not going to achieve anything if we can’t remember

Buster: a guaranteed repeat performance, but that’s too manipulative, even for me

Rio: bit fucking rude to reckon you wouldn’t be forever thinking about it if it happened once

Buster: exactly, I’d be lying if I said otherwise, tricking you

Buster: why would I do that when I could be honest instead?

Rio: You have no reason to lie

Rio: I know

Buster: Yeah, you already know I think about you all the time, that I have since we were [whatever age we’re saying that truth or dare kiss happened]

Rio: I think about that all the time, more than feels normal

Buster: if we repeat it maybe we’ll get the fuck over it

Rio: what have we got to lose?

Buster: It feels half done, that’s all, and I can’t do things by halves, like I told you

Rio: I get it, you got better at kissing and you need me to know

Buster: Don’t fucking say anything if I didn’t, that’d be something to lose, all my dignity

Rio: 😅

Rio: Come on, it can’t have been that bad, or I wouldn’t still think about it now

Buster: You come on, where are you and where can we go?

Rio: I got cornered

Rio: but I know where we can go

Buster: it’s a good thing, it gave us time to sober up

Rio: thought you might say practice

Buster: You didn’t need to, you didn’t make a fool of yourself

Rio: I wouldn’t say that

Rio: probably Nance’s intention though for the pair of us

Buster: her intention for everyone for as long as I can remember

Rio: we’re talking about her again

Rio: you weren’t a bad kisser, just a perfectionist

Buster: Stop talking and I’ll show you how good I am now

Rio: at least make it down the street or we’re fucked

Rio: [but do get away from whoever cornered you, Nancy or some other chatty cath and grab him by the hand like follow me please]

Buster: [do follow her and sober up a bit how you do when you go outside or at least feel like you do anyway lol]

Rio: [not telling you where we’re going ‘cos if we talk or look at you before we get there we know what’s gonna happen so lowkey running as much as our outfit allows, clearly we know where every party is tonight and have a friend who lives not far from the pub who is hosting one that we can crash]

Buster: [just try not to bump into anyone and accidentally start a brawl because the streets would be packed with peeps in all kinds of states, v easy to get lost in if anyone did notice you leave the pub though, won’t take a sec before they’ve got no clue where you’re heading]

Rio: [it would honestly be carnage hence we’re keeping hold of you like a toddler, beyond just wanting to hold your hand, at least you know your way around enough that you probably know side streets that will be quieter and easier to navigate to this random house, which will then again be rammed, finally looking at you like ta-da because a crowd you can actually get lost in because no one here knows you]

Buster: [the perks of living somewhere is knowing all the shortcuts tourists could never and she do even if we can’t say you do, boy, won’t even be shady about this random house not being posh cos buzzing to be here and have said crowd to be lost in, just keep your mouth closed hun so nobody tries to fight you about your accent, we don’t need that rn, moving her along with his body the way he did earlier but even more so to the level they can get swept up in all the people, EYE CONTACT the entire time]

Rio: [being able to dance how you actually want to dance and not how you would have to at family functions keeping it PG, whatever this song is we’re doing the most with it because so not the point]

Buster: [we love to see it even though you’ll both be DYING immediately from how immediately indecent it is because the entire point is some of this tension finally being addressed and he’s likewise going all in to do that because really are telling ourself and justifying that this is going to be a one time makeout sesh that we’ll then never refer to again please and all will be right with the world lmao]

Rio: [oh lads, good luck with that, the casual way we’re already DEAD because not only have we never had reason to be this close to you for this long but definitely not with this sort of energy behind it]

Buster: [Winnie said good luck trying to dance posh white boy as if he’s not also both of those things haha, but yeah thank god this is mutual and he’s as dead and they are both giving the same energy or else that’d be awkward, really just only dancing rn and savouring that because y’all could never before rn even though he’d obviously desperately wanna pin her against a wall atm too]

Rio: [also that this is a messy night and messier than the pub by definition of it being a private party so the vibe is encouraging the behaviour y’all shamelessly wanna carry out anyway; obviously the best way to dance is for you to grind up against him but we have to keep finding ways to make EYE CONTACT in spite of this fact too ‘cos duh]

Buster: [and equally as obviously at some point he is gonna start kissing her neck whilst y’all are dancing away together here because gotta]

Rio: [when you can react exactly how you wanna to that because who can or is bothered to listen and how little does it matter ‘what are you waiting for?’ ‘cos there’s nothing stopping you now apart from the fact you can stay here as long as you want, realistically]

Buster: [oh the freedom ‘Why are you rushing me?’ in her ear and he’s then doing the most with said earlobe to a torturously slow degree like excuse you gal ‘Don’t you like this?’ because we know she do by the inevitable reaction it will cause]

Rio: [‘you know why’ before he’s fully gone in on our earlobe and made it so we’re unable to respond in any way that isn’t 🥺]

Buster: [kind of slow dancing irrespective of what this song is but in the way that he’s just blatantly holding her close af and doing all the deliberate movements to kill her, kissing her neck again but in a really slow and intense way]

Rio: [really just letting you hold us up here and now, despite the fact you wouldn’t actually be that drunk because you were on baby duty for ages, ‘cos actually want to experience this exactly how you wanna do it]

Buster: [tbf how easy he could hold her up is a whole mood not just cos she is smol but because he’s fit af in an athletic sense, like literally very muscley and strong]

Rio: [appreciating that the only way we can by touching you all over ‘cos again, no call to be doing anything beyond a hug hello and goodbye really]

Buster: [and even that y’all probably weren’t because can’t trust yourselves that much]

Rio: [tea, the temptation to linger would be way too real, as it is now]

Buster: [probably picking her up right here rn so she can literally wrap herself around him fully because why wouldn’t you]

Rio: [full koala mode activated, also point out there’s 0 chance your dress isn’t now a t-shirt because that would be impossible so excuse us everyone at this party but we can’t pretend we care or are thinking about that even slightly; our mouth would be THAT close to yours but you have to kiss us so we’re kissing your neck instead because you’ve done that so we can]

Buster: [thank god everybody at this party is being feral cos yeah, I’m like gal how tight is that dress, how far can it go, are you okay? Lol, but he’s using the excuse of trying to fix it for her how he did earlier to just touch her while she’s kissing his neck because again, of course he would]

Rio: [it’s probably some sort of bodycon that has just rolled up with this position, otherwise we definitely would’ve ripped it, would also not be bothered but we don’t have to say that’s a thing yet lol]

Buster: [you might have to be seen by members of your fam at some point later on even if y’all don’t ever go back to the pub, so no, there’s no need for outfits to be destroyed haha, doing a lil hair pull that’s quite gentle but still !! to manoeuvre y’all so he can finally kiss her, you’re welcome for this position because I feel like your height difference is like a foot or almost so that’d be annoying otherwise]

Rio: [the way this kiss is gonna have y’all reeling because the sheer intensity, was fully planning in our head to pull out every move you’ve learnt in the years since but you can’t even make this some performance, what is happening is just happening instinctively and there’s no controlling it like that]

Buster: [he was likewise planning not only that but to pull away after you’ve had this kiss like okay cool we’re done, we did it lol because clearly the dare kiss was however long it was and we were thinking we’d do like double that or whatever to ‘get it out of our system’, which it goes without saying is not happening because even if he does manage to break away at any point it’ll be the cliche of immediately kissing again anyway]

Rio: [can’t call it a stunned silence because furthest thing from it but feeling vaguely like we might be tripping here because surely this can’t be real]

Buster: [do have to say that whenever there is a breathing pause he takes the opportunity to sit y’all down even if it’s literally on the floor or a stair if this place is that rammed so that she can sit on him and we can combat the height difference that way, will nearly be killing people by accident because won’t stop being extra for a single second whilst moving and will instead be kissing her neck or just fully making out with her like there aren’t hazards everywhere]

Rio: [not helping because fully encouraging this always, just running our hands through your hair as we kiss you as deeply as we are physically able, pushing into whatever surface we’re now sat on]

Buster: [he is a child of baze and he can’t be tamed, soz everyone, just here to be the most feral we possibly can and touch her everywhere he might have ever wanted to while he drags her into his lap as much as he is physically able]

Rio: [‘Buster’ revelling in saying it, saying it how we are, dragging those syllables out not being hard with how we’re feeling]

Buster: [he should not be able to drag her name out when it’s that short but he can and he is because that extra and that affected by everything that’s occurred]

Rio: [forcing yourself to stop kissing because you have to look at him to get across the absolute !!!! obvs]

Buster: [can’t stop himself from moving indecently while holding that eye contact because as !!! in this moment and every moment since y’all started this and therefore giving her a loud and extra sound that isn’t in any way muffled by y’all kissing]

Rio: [when there is too little/literally nothing stopping you from fully hooking up with him, going from nothing to this in what feels like no time at all, overwhelmed is an understatement, making our own movements that match the sounds we cannot stop making]

Buster: [in her case there’s not even clothes stopping her, can literally feel everything at all times, soz gal and also you’re welcome, cos he’s obvs syncing up with her with this, getting the best rhythm going ever and being loud about it]

Rio: [thank GOD it’s as blatant that this is mutual because there’s no hiding this or styling it out as something else ‘we can do it’ as if you’re not suggesting what you are and are just talking about sneaking a drink or something else you might’ve as kids]

Buster: [not stopping because simply cannot but hitting her with a ‘we can’t’ as you’re still doing the most because didn’t just casually bring condoms in your pocket with you to Dublin and obvs the Jay of it all wasn’t long ago so you’re all too aware of not trying to make that mistake again]

Rio: [lowkey so thrown you don’t even know how to react because it’s not as if it’s the sort of thing you can insist about but like… ‘don’t you like it?’]

Buster: [a breathless and hot af lol because he clearly do love all of this ‘of course I do, babe, I just didn’t pack for it’ what an adorable way of phrasing this contraception quandary sir]

Rio: [😍 because that was adorable and hot in equal measures no lie detected]

Buster: [have to kiss her again because the heart eyes are too much and he can’t deal]

Rio: [‘you know I’m on the pill though, yeah’ ‘cos why wouldn’t you be]

Buster: [when Chloe would have blatantly told him that lie because she’s that bitch so it stops him way more dramatically than it should or he can style out]

Rio: [having to act like that’s not lowkey offensive like oh, okay ‘I’ll get drinks then’ like brb]

Buster: [‘I’ll go get them’ because he literally can’t verbalise everything that’s going through his head rn and needs to run away, not giving her even half a second to argue despite the fact she was literally on top of him and it would be easier for her to do it because that !!]

Rio: [let him go girl because he’s that shook you’re not going to try and stop him, especially when you think it’s purely this situation]

Buster: [when I just know he’s gonna get into a fight with someone on the way there or back and I’m like I sure wish you wouldn’t, boy]

Rio: [standard house party/st paddys behaviour but we’re still going to get involved/get you out of here]

Buster: [if she didn’t it’d escalate to half the lads here joining in because he’s posh and english and nobody needs that today, especially not baze if they had to make a trip to A&E]

Rio: [you’re welcome we’re not also making your trip include one to the hospital lads, not that we did it for your sake but still, heading back towards the pub now]

Buster: [‘give me a second here, yeah?’ like she’s marching you towards the pub against your will]

Rio: [stopping but looking around like let’s not get into any more fights ‘you alright?’ ‘cos would obviously still care if you were hurt, even if this is supremely awkward]

Buster: [‘no, this girl lied to me about that before’ just getting into it because he is that bitch, not what she meant remotely but ily for this sir you make me laugh]

Rio: [taking the time you need to piece that together in your head, then shaking said head when it dawns on you ‘that’s fucked’ because it is]

Buster: [‘she is, I should’ve used that as contraception’ because truly she’s a mad one]

Rio: [shrug like we’ve all been there ‘that’s alright, that makes sense’ ‘cos just a relief to know what actually happened there vs what it was in your head]

Buster: [a shrug like you’re not still thinking about that whole situation that you’ve barely gotten into ‘I didn’t want you to think, to keep thinking, it was about you’ because it’s really a him issue]

Rio: [‘thanks’ and nudging into him like you think he’s taking the piss but you know he’s not and you’re also being sincere with it because seriously]

Buster: [wiping his nostril the way he did hers after the coke binge but to check if it’s bleeding before they do go back to the pub but it’s not so doing a smirk as if you’re so great for avoiding that and not ruining your expensive af top with blood and it wasn’t just luck]

Rio: [‘you’re welcome’ rolling our eyes like * that was down to me, boy, not you]

Buster: [‘Jesus, you’re beautiful’ sounds like he’s taking the piss because she just rolled her eyes at him but really not, is really just sincerely saying it after looking at her nbd]

Rio: [‘you might be concussed’ like oh no, maybe you didn’t get away with it after all but coming closer to you again like we need to/ can check you over]

Buster: [‘there’s only one of you’ literally like don’t worry I’m not seeing double but it lowkey also sounds like a line like nobody compares so shaking his head like oh no that was corny of me]

Rio: [grinning ‘your secret is safe with me’ like no one will ever hear that from me]

Buster: [‘it’s no secret I’ve never lost a fight’ because gotta get that boxing brag in, clearly]

Rio: [‘you don’t lose’ just an observation we’re making casually rn]

Buster: [shaking his head cos no he don’t you’re correct and it’s not an option]

Rio: [‘I thought it was ‘cos of Edie’ just blurting this out, because of course that’s where your mind was when contraceptive chat]

Buster: [‘it’s a cute kid, cute as they ever are’ soz for calling you it there Libi, how rude]

Rio: [‘all kids are cute!’ like what are you talking about lmao]

Buster: [‘Billie wasn’t’ again soz girl but it’s true, we’ve all seen baby Cara]

Rio: [😱 like it’s not true but we are loling ‘cos she’d be the first to say it ‘you’re rude’]

Buster: [‘Jury’s still out on Violette’ because she’s literally a tiny bub and we don’t know yet that she’s gonna be cute af cos going by Ro we can all assume not, she was not it ‘but I’d bet against’]

Rio: [‘it’s a miracle she’s here at all’ because everyone is shocked and not in a good way about you, soz honey]

Buster: [‘her mum would love to hear you say that’ because Ro is all about that religious life sis, she’d be living for the word miracle]

Rio: [‘she doesn’t love anything that comes out of my mouth’ Ro always been a hater sis, despite Rio being like her mum and trying to be friends with everyone regardless]

Buster: [‘her loss’ with so much feeling because he loves everything that comes out of this girl’s mouth, especially during that makeout and we have to be 1000% clear about that as if it wasn’t obvious]

Rio: [‘definitely not mad about it’ pulling a face like let’s not imagine that reality thank you]

Buster: [doing a big Fearghal type lol because I can and I will]

Rio: [😍 again]

Buster: [picking up her wrist and holding it for no reason except those heart eyes killing him again ‘I know what you’re mad about’ because I, Junie B Jones didn’t even mean to get back on my bullshit and cockblock y’all that hard but it happened nevertheless and he’s as gutted as she is, obvs]

Rio: [‘what you going to do about it though?’ ‘cos now we know it wasn’t all the sheer drama we were spiralling it was we can be flirty again]

Buster: [‘Is the flat being rented?’ genuine q because if it’s just one of the fam staying above the pub he has no qualms sneaking up there and obvs if it’s empty rn even less]

Rio: [‘Rocky’s family are in there’ ‘cos he died this time last year apparently so that makes sense to me that y’all are getting situated and they’d just let you be there for free because yeah]

Buster: [‘Good, come on’ because gonna at least try and sneak, awks it sounds like you’re saying good he’s dead, excuse you tbh]

Rio: [‘we can see if the lights are on’ like okay but not promising anything ‘cos Toni is only 3 and Archie isn’t 1 yet so their mum might be putting them to bed or something]

Buster: [we know damn well that she doesn’t join in with the fam functions as much as the rest of the core fam do and she would probably use the fact the kids are little as a reason to dip even though there are other little kids there like Libi ‘We can finish what we started’ because she asked what he was going to do, too confident that Rocky’s widow isn’t a flop but we get it, you don’t know her, boy]

Rio: [sure you won’t be living above this pub much longer ‘cos fail to see how you can ignore these kind of celebrations but it’s probably a late enough o’clock you’d be trying hen ‘not out your system yet’ like yeah, I know, definition of 🤞 without literally doing it]

Buster: [Yeah, I’m sure she hates living there but soz hun you’ve got two little kids and are grieving so it’s actually the right place for you, but anyway, this boy just LOOKING at her because it CLEARLY is not]

Rio: [looking back in the direction of the house/house party like ugh ‘if only you didn’t smack my mate’ probably wasn’t your mate actually and just another random but that would be so much simpler ‘I’ve not forgotten how to be discreet’ shrugging, like could be a mood]

Buster: [‘I didn’t realise when I did that he was the only one you’ve got’ like my bad lol but not at all soz actually because there must be a million other house parties going on that they could crash if necessary]

Rio: [‘shut up’ with a grin as she shakes her head ‘they were just the closest and you were desperate’]

Buster: [‘You shut up’ like excuse you I was not, despite the blatant evidence to the contrary ‘you’ve got your heart set on playing hide and seek, I haven’t forgotten how much you love it’ because something you could have done as kids, why wouldn’t you, having a whole pub to play in, and he’s actually done you a massive favour by brawling]

Rio: [‘Nothing wrong with desperate but-’ like oh okay, let’s play it cool then, if you wanna ‘it was best at my house’ remembering because you could legit get lost inside or out at the cali residence]

Buster: [‘but you’re about to change your mind so fast’ because gonna lowkey torture you even more than he did earlier by making you wait for a kiss, obvs, and you will be dying and desperate then]

Rio: [‘you’re on’ like okay let’s play, speeding up purely so you have to look at us]

Buster: [shamelessly checking her out again because not gonna be able to for a minute if y’all are sneaking around so simply must]

Rio: [turning back to LOOK at you ‘you think I’m beautiful’ loudly ‘cos not near enough the pub yet and you could just be taking the piss out of some harmless and appropriate compliment, though you are not and your grin is way more real than any smirk would ever]

Buster: [‘You are’ so matter of fact about this like yes correct, because it’s just true ‘you’re flawless’ again, no lie detected, it’s a fact not just his opinion, soz]

Rio: [‘says you’ as matter of fact about it ‘cos undeniable, even if we’re blushing too]

Buster: [a nod ‘It’s not a line coming from someone like me’ because hot peeps can get whoever they want so it’s not the same as a dude who doesn’t think he is just putting her on a pedestal, is the logic here]

Rio: [‘that’s the other twin’ like we’ve already established it would be weirder on your part if this was some sort of elaborate scheme or joke]

Buster: [‘you can say ugly, or evil, both if you desperately want, she’s not here’ rude but you hate her so, use of the word desperate for the pure bants there haha]

Rio: [turning back around with an eye roll like let’s not lmao]

Buster: [absolutely just smirking unrepentantly]

Rio: [just leaning down to deal with a shoe issue you probably aren’t even having because you can]

Buster: [picking her up because he can like oh that shoe issue must mean you need carrying the rest of the way]

Rio: [‘what are you doing?’ tone is 😻 though]

Buster: [‘You looked like you were having a problem, I’m solving it for you, like I said I could’ because he did earlier when they were talking about shoes]

Rio: [‘should say something about your generosity now, right?’ as we’re doing throwbacks but we’re not quoting ourself because we’re too busy playing with your curls]

Buster: [‘I don’t have to do charity anymore’ because got into uni already basically and because he’s v much enjoying this as much as you and that’s why he’s doing it]

Rio: [‘[the random flirting with you earlier] will be devastated’ like ha ha soz not soz]

Buster: [‘I already devastated her by giving [whatever the drink was he made] to you’ also amused and not soz]

Rio: [just smiling to ourself about it shamelessly ‘was good’ off-handedly]

Buster: [‘I made it’ like no shit, of course it was]

Rio: [‘what did I know about your hidden talents?’ in his ear, lingering there]

Buster: [‘you’ll know all about how talented I am when I find you’ for the hide and seek of it all whether we actually let you play or not]

Rio: [making the most frustrated little noise]

Buster: [playing with her hair despite the fact he’s carrying her, don’t drop her please]

Rio: [gonna say you can see the lights on upstairs as you’re approaching so that noise soon becomes actually frustrated like no get out lmao]

Buster: [putting her down like oh no oh no]

Rio: [just looking like do we go in, or immediately somewhere else, what is the move here]

Buster: [looking around as if the fam are gonna be lurking this far away from the pub and have seen y’all and therefore will force you to go back in, but of course not ‘plenty of places to hide in the cellar’ slightly spooky suggestion but I respect it, at least you’re pondering]

Rio: [‘only come down if the barrel needs changing’ like that’s easy enough to not get caught with that being the only reason anyone’d be down there unless anyone else in this fam was trying to hook up lmao ‘so, count to…’ trying to judge how long it’ll take you to get in and get down there because undoubtedly going to get slightly waylaid by everyone like where have you been girl ‘I’ll tell you when to start counting’]

Buster: [nodding and v gently pushing her in the direction of this pub like okay go]

Rio: [get gone girl, socialise like you are remotely engaged in whatever is being said to you]

Buster: [meanwhile he’s gotta awkwardly give it a minute so it’s not obvious af you two just appeared together after a long af absence, at least you don’t have to be social af nobody expects it of you, just check on both your sisters, one cos you have to and one cos you wanna]

Rio: [just keep checking where you are, goes without saying, obviously not noticeably so to anyone else but we are]

Buster: [likewise, as if she’s gonna just disappear off to the cellar and hide there forever without telling him lol]

Rio: [lmao imagine]

Rio: Alright, down from 60 should do it

Buster: You’re on

Rio: You aren’t gonna find me

Buster: You aren’t going to be able to stay hidden away from me

Rio: You’ve forgotten how good I am at this

Buster: No, you’ve forgotten how loud I can make you

Rio: I don’t think I have

Buster: I think you need reminding

Rio: keep looking, I want you to find me

Buster: I know you do, babe

Rio: I didn’t think [someone we’re shading here] would ever shut up

Buster: if you’d let them get another round in they wouldn’t

Rio: I don’t want another drink right now

Buster: We both want the same thing, thank Christ

Rio: having to avoid you forever would be tedious, never mind footing your therapy bill

Buster: Generous of you, as per, but my parents’ll cover it, even with the expense of Nancy’s sessions, it’ll probably be fine

Rio: As long as you promise to talk about me, at least once

Buster: it’s a huge relief you’re asking me to promise that way and not vice versa, I wouldn’t be able to stop myself

Rio: I don’t think you should have to

Rio: what’s wrong about it

Buster: Nothing, opening up is the right thing to do

Rio: You’ve already got the hang of it

Rio: pretty jealous how turned on it’ll definitely make your shrink but price we have to pay

Buster: It’d be stupid of you to be jealous of anyone, and I know you’re smart

Rio: I’ll assume you mean that the genuine way and not the backhanded one

Buster: I’ve seen no evidence of you working hard all through school, what else can I say?

Rio: I’m not going to give up my hiding spot just because you’re being rude, btw

Rio: work smarter not harder, what can I say?

Buster: Are you going to at least try and defend yourself?

Buster: I’m waiting to hear what a good girl you are

Rio: [stop breathing wherever you are]

Rio: That’s not fair

Buster: Playing fair contradicts what you said about working smarter

Rio: Not you learning something from me

Buster: It’s about time, you didn’t teach me fuck all about kissing during that dare

Rio: As if you would

Rio: too many 👀s watching

Buster: I like an audience

Rio: yeah?

Buster: Come on, that shouldn’t be news to you

Rio: Oh, I’m just giving myself time to think about it

Buster: Fine by me, you’re giving me an opportunity to locate you with how you’re breathing about it

Rio: I’ll practice pretending I’m gutted to lose to you

Buster: Am I supposed to pretend I don’t see you too?

Rio: Never

Buster: The biggest relief of the night, but only so far

Buster: [appear and pull her out of whatever ‘hiding place’ she’s in]

Rio: [being SHOOK when this happens is the closest we get to being anything close to gutted about this, grabbing him like you were that scared by his sudden appearance]

Buster: [hugging her like she’s that scared we have to, not like you just wanna do that or anything]

Rio: [milking this for all it’s worth ‘cos we can all just pretend we’re drunk later it’s fine, yeah, wrapping yourself around him like before]

Buster: [likewise milking that for all it’s worth even though there’s probably numerous places you could, and I’m sure will eventually, put her down on, kissing her neck like he did before]

Rio: [‘what cologne are you wearing?’ ‘cos we like it and it’s the only coherent thought we’re having, tilting our head to the ceiling so you have all the skin you could possibly wanna kiss]

Buster: [telling her in between all the neck kisses ever because why would he stop, obvs his voice sounding indecent is one of many reasons not to so]

Rio: [closing your eyes because can’t deal already ‘maybe I’ll buy some too’ like we’re adding it to the shopping list with the heels]

Buster: [‘I’ll send it to you’ because him sending and buying her things is a literal ruster staple OG so I gotta, kissing her collarbone and shoulder now too]

Rio: [‘there’ ‘cos that’s where you would wear it, pointing to that spot behind your ears too, almost the back of your neck, obviously that word was basically a moan because we so approve of that idea]

Buster: [taking it as an instruction and going in on kissing her everywhere she’s directed him to, to a basically torturous extent, of course he’ll eventually go in on her earlobe again too how he did before, while he’s there]

Rio: [‘what will it take?’ like tell me how to get you to kiss me now please]

Buster: [‘You already have the answer’ like gotta be desperate and lowkey beg because of what was said earlier]

Rio: [gotta keep your mouth closed for now girl even though we know you’ll break before long lmao, just pointing at your lips in the same manner like he will be tricked]

Buster: [fully leaning in like he’s gonna do it but obvs at the literal last second being like ‘say please’]

Rio: [‘please’ with literally no hesitation because we don’t care, we know what we want]

Buster: [finally kissing her but it’s v soft and almost chaste, almost because he only has so much restraint his damn self lol, to be rude and torture her again]

Rio: [‘I know you know how to do more than that’ still in his grill so whispering despite there being no need because no one is around ‘you just put your hands here-’ and putting them on her waist ‘-then put your lips together…’ once he has kissing him as delicately but then really slowly using your tongue to pry his lips apart again]

Buster: [quietly but !! moaning into her mouth on that last move, we’ll never know what he was gonna say, RIP to that sass]

Rio: [just this being the slowest and most deliberate makeout of all time as if either of you has never done this before, putting our hands on either side of his face and pulling him closer to you with it]

Buster: [letting that kissing sesh last what feels like forever before he’s gotta relent and put her down whether that’s on a crate or a literal shelf or wherever the fuck because not trying to drop you and his hands be trying to wander too much to be safely holding her up rn, and immediately almost pulling her off said surface because he’s pulling her closer to him and nearly off the edge]

Rio: [hold onto whatever you can and need to to not because never going to tell you to stop doing anything, especially not when it makes it so blatant to us how badly you want us too ‘I’ve wanted this from the minute you walked in’ looking at him with all the !!]

Buster: [overcompensating for how near to the edge she was and pushing her back until she’s literally against the wall that whatever she’s sitting on atm is against, taking her wrists and pinning them over her head to said wall as he looks back at her with as much !! because hard same, it cannot be overstated that he hadn’t stopped kissing her for a single second until that eye contact so it’s really bringing the drama ‘so you walked in wearing that and waited for me’ cos it’s such a lewk that can’t be overstated either]

Rio: [the LOUDEST GASP because so about being unable to move away from how he’s looking at us in any way, nodding like yes, exactly ‘I don’t care how many other people see, as long as you’re looking’]

Buster: [changing it up so he’s got her wrists pinned one handed/armed and the other free because necessary rn ‘it’s for me, same as this’ touching her v saucily and blatantly because how turned on you are is as blatant but gotta always make it more so]

Rio: [trying to not look away into our hair or bite our lip or close our eyes, anything to deal with how we’re feeling beyond the most intense eye contact of all time and just shamelessly making the sounds you’d otherwise be trying to conceal ‘you knew’ like you didn’t have to touch me to work that out, that’s how obvious I am ‘you did that’]

Buster: [we love to maintain eye contact against all odds, I could never, but you do you, guys, doing the most here with this hand like she’s not already dying because duh we have to be as shameless ‘the things I wanna do to you, Rio’ could have said babe but saying her name because we’re that !! too]

Rio: [‘do them’ beyond desperately ‘please’ like you forgot but have now remembered your manners ‘everything you think of’]

Buster: [‘not yet’ the way that could be an entirely different phrase than one of the first things he said to her earlier because of how he’s saying it and yet is somehow also exactly the same delivery too because he’s that bitch ‘I’m not done showing you what a good kisser I am’ and we ALL know what’s gonna happen here because shoutout to that misfits content being the only things we had back in the day and eating her out totally counts as kissing nbd, being as extra as always, giving it all the build up]

Rio: [god bless that content truly, we’re not okay here at all ‘I’m going to die’ because if you can’t be dramatic now when can you]

Buster: [another hot af breathless lol because she is the drama but we’re about it ‘yeah, you are’ too unrepentant, simply doing the MOST because this is his fave thing to do ever in any universe of ruster, soz not soz]

Rio: [the unholy amount of noise we have to make, getting pushed harder and harder against this wall because cannot fucking cope ‘Buster, baby-’]

Buster: [we’re all thrilled that y’all picked the day the pub is the loudest and rowdiest it’ll ever be because he can’t cope much better and isn’t being remotely quiet himself, though obvs not as loud as you gal but his time will come lol, literally will have to take a sec at some point to at least unbutton whatever fancy af trousers he’s shown up to this function in though, because too turned on to be comfortable]

Rio: [honestly thank god because attempting to be anything but the most about this would be near impossible, especially when you do that and we’re shamelessly staring ‘for me?’]

Buster: [shamelessly taking a sec to pull her up and kiss her so she’s more upright + back closer to the edge than she was and can get an even better view not to mention reach him if she did want to touch him because why wouldn’t we, it’s not as if you should take any kind of time to breathe or rest your extra af mouth]

Rio: [we simply have to touch you immediately and with as much urgency as we’re kissing you, using our hands but also pressing our body against you and using our lack of clothing at this point to our advantage]

Buster: [my boo said sir it’s your turn to be killed and he really is dying because he’s been doing shit to her almost exclusively since they entered this cellar and living off her reactions for a minute here so it’d be SO !! that she’s finally actually touching him, and like that, no less, his own unholy noises, of course, and he definitely didn’t set out to bite her lip v dramatically but it’s happening with the GASP that escapes the first time she’s using her body like that]

Rio: [likewise dying to finally touch him and just because you can’t fuck him doesn’t mean there’s nothing you can do and all the possibilities have us feral, just sliding you between the outer folds of our vagina for lack of a better term so you’re as good as doing it without any penetration]

Buster: [absolutely gotta move y’all to these cellar steps despite the obvious danger of discovery and y’all loud asses being closer to the door so you have more room to be feral in all the ways you want without her falling off whatever she’s perched precariously on because he’d be really losing it here, excuse us, nobody need to change a barrel for a bit, okay?]

Rio: [don’t mind us, there’d be no cover story for this position and the state of the pair of you but we’re beyond caring and sheer dumb luck is on your side rn]

Buster: [seriously beyond caring because he is gonna get her on his lap again and y’all are gonna end up hooking up, thank god she is on the pill and it is that effective, I can’t stop this and he doesn’t want to, it’s only a matter of time]

Rio: [you aren’t trying to trap him like an unhinged bitch, it’s all good, telling him you’ll take the morning-after pill in front of him because truly anything so this can happen]

Buster: [‘I trust you’re not bullshitting me, we can’ because true]

Rio: [‘you’ve earned it’]

Buster: [when hearing that is like his ultimate turn on, lol, we know what kind of bitch he is, 100% that one, so there’s 0 hesitation this time sis]

Rio: [the way our eyes are gonna roll to the back of our head ‘you’re fucking me’ have to state the obvious because we can’t believe it]

Buster: [unholy is not the word for the moan that’s gonna come out of him when this penetration finally occurs so it’s FINE lol, they’re so even ‘I have to’ also stating the obvious, there was no way y’all weren’t gonna do this]

Rio: [‘you need to’ not even wanting to kiss you because the sounds you’re making are so good so we have to kiss across your shoulders and chest]

Buster: [‘We both need to get it all out of our system, everything, or it won’t happen once’ when you really do believe this is not gonna happen again if you just do it well enough lol lol]

Rio: [pushing your bra down and grabbing his hands to put them there like I know you need to do this then]

Buster: [did she have her nipples pierced or was that a fever dream? I feel like she did because she had to take them out when she got preggo when we did baby Saint and they were both devastated about it, if that’s true I’m cackling because he’d be so lowkey surprised because not gonna have been a thing with all the posh london and clean cut american girls he has hooked up with]

Rio: [she did indeed, so happy at your adorable surprised face ‘you can pull ‘em’ demonstrating how ‘cos the main point beyond aesthetics]

Buster: [do that and be living laughing loving boy because it’d be so different and he’d be so about it because highkey feels like he has done everything and is so bored, not rn obvs haha but usually, peeps are so dramatic, this woman was like having pierced nipples is like having another clit, please calm down, there was this whole article I just read where everyone was popping off about having better orgasms]

Rio: [need to put your sister onto that in the future lmao but whether people are being OTT or nah, we’re still going harder in your lap as a result]

Buster: [literally read it and thought of jc like you’re not having loads of kids, treat yourselves when you’re done, guys, our minds, these two are also living their best lives rn despite the fact anyone could hear or interrupt y’all and we stan]

Rio: [we know you’re shamelessly being the loudest because the perfect opportunity to do so ‘this pussy is yours you better cum in it’]

Buster: [mhmm, he’s playing with these piercings with his tongue, gently pulling on them with his teeth, kissing her everywhere else on her chest, just being feral af whilst fucking her like both their lives depend on it ‘this is what it takes to stop you being hung up on manners, getting you like this?’ because the ladies first of it all during the coke binge, like you should be going first gal, excuse you, almost annoyed in a bants way like damn I can’t pull this trick every time you pop off about it]

Rio: [whimpering at this because yes to your actions and what you’re saying ‘I can’t help that there’s only one way to get me to behave properly’ so unrepentant ‘whoever’s fucking me like this calls the shots’]

Buster: [stopping what he’s doing for a sec to LOOK up at her ‘oh come on, nobody else has ever fucked you the way I am’ where’s the lie tbh but you didn’t have to put every man in Dublin on blast like that sir]

Rio: [‘don’t make me miss you whilst you’re still inside me’ trying to make him move again like you come on]

Buster: [‘I can’t help that you will, baby’ not the first baby of the night from him, doing the most again as if he remotely needs to prove how true that is]

Rio: [when that pout barely even has time to register before you’re screaming again]

Buster: [when he put his finger on her lip for the sec that it did like he was pointing to it cos we see you but then he’s just putting his fingers in her mouth to be indecent when she is]

Rio: [when you haven’t had chance to show off your own head skills so you must do the most to remind him of the fact]

Buster: [‘don’t make me miss something I’ll never get the chance to experience’ because again, really think this is it and she’s never gonna suck his dick lmao]

Rio: [not stopping like but I must]

Buster: [dying about it obviously so the ‘behave’ hits different than how you thought it would, more like a plea than a command there, boy]

Rio: [do let him take his fingers away just to show the mess that’ll make and so you can say ‘there’s time before you go’ like one time means one night not just this ‘you got to taste me’]

Buster: [holding her face via her jaw to make a mess of it and keep you both thinking about this future blowjob, there’s no need honestly except that also it makes the way he’s LOOKING at her even more dramatic like yes okay, agreed ‘you taste even better than you look’ no lie detected, he LOVED it]

Rio: [thank the lord you’re a minimal makeup ‘cos I’m stunning kind of gal but you would wear some for parties and with a bit of fixing before you’re seen you could’ve just been really sweating it out on the dancefloor, not that this is running through your head when you’re encouraging him to absolutely wreck any and all makeup and hairstyle you might’ve had ‘you’re a better fuck than you look, somehow’ ‘cos saying you already look like an amazing one, not the shade that could be in another scenario, obvs]

Buster: [the hottest lol of all time as if he’s taking it as he’s being shaded]

Rio: [laughing with you even though we lowkey surprise ourselves that we’re capable whilst still fully doing the most]

Buster: [the heart eyes though because it would’ve been ages since you laughed together lbr]

Rio: [in a genuine way, just you two and not in a group setting, literally forever, probably; so gotta kiss him so you don’t say something stupid when you have the same realisation]

Buster: [have another intense makeout sesh and save yourselves]

Rio: [we’re fine, not going to let unexpected emotions get in the way of a good time]

Buster: [just focus on trying to make her cum first sir, you are a child of baze and we all remember when they literally had a competition about it]

Rio: [we’re not going to be making that as much of a challenge for you has to be said but it’s still a victory nonetheless]

Buster: [it’ll happen pretty much at the same time anyway I’m sure, you’ve both been as feral as each other]

Rio: [just on these stairs like well fuck]

1 note · View note

starryhyuck · 3 years

Text

pretty girl. (m)

pairing: alpha!jaemin x reader

words: 4.3k+

summary: you hate that jaemin follows you around every full moon. you’re determined to know the reason why, but you end up getting more than you asked for.

genre: fluff, smut

warnings: large amounts of cum, manhandling, breeding, knotting, overstimulation, fingering, hair pulling, rough sex, oral sex

“It’s dangerous for you to be out here.”

You blink twice at Jaemin, who is hovering protectively over your form. As your best friend, Jaemin’s always been cautious of you because of his alpha instincts. This oddly includes finding him in your apartment on random days, cooking you dinner because you ‘can’t make it yourself,’ walking you around campus and glaring at anyone who glances your way, and finally, following you to places he should never be at anyways. Tonight falls under the last category, where you were itching to have a nice time with some of your group partners in your Economics class. You all collectively agreed that grabbing drinks at the nearby bar on campus was a good idea. Everything was going perfectly until Jaemin came storming into the bar, almost pushing one of your friends from his spot next to you.

You awkwardly clear your throat, laughing breathily as you stand, trying to move Jaemin away from the table. You can feel the heavy stares of your classmates on your back, and you try your best to ignore it. Once you’re out of earshot, you mumble lowly to him.

“Uh, Jaem, why are you here?”

He frowns at you. The expression on his face is clearly one of disappointment. “It’s a full moon. You shouldn’t be out here, especially if there are other alphas lurking around.”

You tend to frequently forget that Jaemin gets extremely clingy when the full moon rises, and he often perceives most of the population as a threat to your life. In fact, you’re both very good friends with Jeno, another fellow alpha on campus. Jeno’s shown time after time that he has absolutely no interest in you, but when the full moon appears, Jaemin’s convinced that Jeno wants to kidnap you and keep you locked in his dorm forever.

You sigh. “Jaemin, I’m fine. I’m just hanging out with my friends. There are no alphas around, I promise.”

His frown grows deeper. “I passed two of them on the way here. They could have easily hurt you.”

“How about you have a drink with us?” You offer, knowing his worries aren’t subsiding anytime soon. “You can relax and make sure I’m safe.”

The tension in his shoulders loosen at your suggestion, and he hesitantly agrees. You order a beer for him and he reluctantly follows you back to the table. Your friends are eyeing him warily.

“Everyone, this is Jaemin,” you introduce awkwardly. “Is it okay if he joins us?”

Jeongyeon is the first to speak, despite everyone’s reluctance. “Sure, the more the merrier!”

You toss her a grateful smile and Jaemin slides in next to you, unaware of the looks he’s receiving. Luckily, Seulgi launches into a discussion about her day before anyone else can comment. It isn’t long before Chanwoo leans over to whisper in your ear, causing Jaemin to stiffen beside you.

“Is your friend okay? He looks like he hates all of us.”

You brush off Chanwoo’s question. “He’s fine, just tense. Rough time in the semester, you know?”

Chanwoo nods but doesn’t seem convinced by your answer. No one else approaches you about Jaemin for the rest of the time, and the boy next to you chooses to remain silent. You bid goodbye to the group at the end of the night with Jaemin giving subtle nods to each of them. He still hovers protectively over you on the walk back to the campus dorms.

“You really didn’t have to come out tonight,” you mumble to your best friend as he walks alongside you. “I was fine on my own.”

“You’re not fine on nights like these,” he responds, and you can hear the frustration in his tone. “You don’t know what’s out there.”

You huff and stop in your tracks, turning around to face him. You cross your arms over your chest.

“No one is going to hurt me! No one has ever tried to hurt me on a full moon, it’s just your imagination! It’s annoying how much you follow me around, Jaemin, seriously.”

He’s visibly hurt by your outburst and you instantly feel regret. You can almost feel him shutting you away, and it pulls at your chest. He motions to your dorm, which is only a few feet away from where you’re standing.

“Good night. I hope you sleep well.”

“Jaemin-“

You watch as your best friend scurries down the sidewalk, not sparing a single glance back at you.

—

You startle Jeno the next day, pounding on his door and ignoring the glares you’re receiving in his hallway. The boy sleepily opens the door up for you, hair sticking out in multiple directions. He mumbles something under his breath and you ignore him, pushing through and entering his room.

“Well, come on in,” he hisses sarcastically.

You have no time to humor him. “Are alphas usually super clingy and annoying?”

He pauses at the question, closing the door slowly. You raise an eyebrow at his hesitation.

“Um, is this about Jaemin?”

“Maybe,” you drawl, watching Jeno carefully. He definitely knows something he’s not telling you about. “And what if it was?”

“Then I would say you need to talk to Jaemin.”

You roll your eyes. “Jeno!”

“What?” He retorts, avoiding your eyes as much as possible. “It’s not my place to say.”

“I don’t care if it’s your place or not,” you say, frustrated by your lack of alpha knowledge. You’ve tried to learn more since Jaemin presented himself, but it was difficult since many alpha secrets were kept between alphas only. “I need to know what’s going on with him. He’s been following me around every full moon like he’s expecting me to get mugged or something!”

Jeno exhales loudly. “He hasn’t talked to you? About anything?”

You huff. “Jeno, if I needed answers, I wouldn’t be standing here with you.”

The more you talk, the more Jeno grows uncomfortable. It almost seems like it pains him to say anything about Jaemin without him present, and it’s getting on your nerves. Jaemin usually never keeps secrets from you and it must be pretty big if Jeno is barely holding himself together.

Jeno finally speaks after you watch him run circles in his head. “What do you know about mates? Alpha mates?”

You frown, tilting your head to the side. “Mates? I didn’t even know alphas had mates.”

“They’re chosen specifically by an alpha. Someone the alpha has a connection to, someone they would like to spend the rest of their life with.”

He’s still not making any sense to you. Does Jaemin have a mate? Is it someone you know?

Jeno can see the gears spinning and he scoffs. He whispers something under his breath that you can’t hear.

“You need to talk to Jaemin about this. I really can’t say any more.”

You spare Jeno the interrogation and leave his room, thoughts swirling in your head. He’s given you everything and nothing at once, and you don’t even know if Jaemin will offer anything better. You trek over to his dorm anyways, on a mission.

His eyes soften when he sees you behind the door. It tugs at your heartstrings and he motions for you to come inside. The awkward tension drowns the room and you sway on your feet.

“I’m sorry,” he says first. “I know I made you uncomfortable by being with your friends last night, and I should’ve stayed away. I just get very worried around the full moon because-“

“What are alpha mates?”

Jaemin chokes, not expecting your question. You watch as he gathers himself again, and this time, he can’t bear to look at you.

“Where did you hear that from?”

“Jeno.”

Jaemin curses lowly. You frown, your gaze never faltering. You can practically see him trying to come up with some type of excuse.

“Jaemin, I want the truth.”

He sighs. “Can you sit down? Please?”

You reluctantly follow his request, taking a seat on his bed. He paces around the room, looking more nervous than you’ve ever seen him before. You begin to grow antsy while watching him.

“If you don’t want to tell me, that’s fine.”

His head snaps up to look at you, heart breaking at the dejected look on your face. He shakes his head and takes a seat next to you.

“I do, I want to tell you everything. I just want you to have a choice first,” he states, staring at you as if you hold all the answers.

You frown and shake your head. “What choice? You’re not making any sense.”

“I, uh, I unknowingly bonded myself to you. You became my mate, and I realized it too late. We spent too much time together and I should have taken a step back before it got too serious. I was just- I’m never in the correct headspace when I’m around you, and it causes me to impulsively make decisions. I can’t break the bond unless I wish to die a slow death, but if you want me to, I can try.”

You’re spiraling. Your brain is short circuiting, and you’re unsure of what to say in response. Your best friend has just confessed that he bonded himself to you for life, which probably runs deeper than marriage. If you reject him, he’ll die a painful death.

Wonderful.

Jaemin starts freaking out, standing back up and resuming his pacing. “Fuck, I shouldn’t have said anything. I should have left weeks ago, I shouldn’t even be bothering you with this. Listen, we can forget this ever happened. I’ll just- I’ll figure something out. Surely, I can break the bond-“

“Jaemin,” you say timidly. He stops in his tracks at the sound of your voice. “I think I’m okay with being your mate. I mean, I’d rather have it be you than anyone else. Not like you��re my second choice or anything! I just-“

He kneels down, his hands resting on the expanse of your thighs, causing you to jolt at the contact. His hands feel oddly warm, and it’s sending a plethora of dirty thoughts to your head.

“I don’t want you to do this because you feel bad,” he speaks softly. “If you don’t want this, we don’t have to do it. It’s my fault, and I’ll pay the price.”

You protest. “No, I’m doing this because I want to-“

“It’s a big decision-“

“I know that, and I-“

“I hardly think you’ve thought through this carefully-“

“Don’t tell me what I haven’t done-“

“I’ll just move away. It’ll be easier for the both of us that way.”

“Jaemin,” you hiss, placing your hands on his shoulders to stop him. “Can you quit being so difficult? I’m telling you I want to be with you and your rejection is making me feel upset.”

His expression falls. “I didn’t mean to make you upset. I don’t want to cage you in, that’s all.”

“You aren’t caging me in,” you promise him. “Can you tell me what being a mate entails?”

He flushes deep red, and you grow anxious once again. He removes his hands from your thighs and you silently wish he kept them there. He stands again, avoiding your questioning gaze.

“Um, well, technically- I mean, it’s just-“

“Jaemin,” you say sternly. “Stop dancing around the subject.”

He clears his throat. “Technically, we’re not fully mated yet. In order to complete the bonding process, we need to- um, well, we need to-“

“Jaemin!”

“We need to fuck!”

That definitely floors you. You blink at him, not believing what he said. You haven’t slept with anyone in months. You’re not going to lie — you’ve thought about Jaemin in that way a handful of times, mostly when it’s late at night and you’re left with an imaginative mind. You didn’t realize it could ever become a reality.

He starts rambling again. “Of course, I don’t want to make you do anything you’re uncomfortable with. I can’t imagine me putting my dick anywhere near you is appealing at the moment, so we can probably just forget it and-“

You say his name again to bring him out of his thoughts. “Can we try?”

He sputters, more than the last time. “W-What?”

“I mean, it can’t hurt, right? I trust you.”

“U-Uh, um, uh, I-“ He short circuits in front of you, struggling to find coherent words.

You don’t give him time to second guess again, immediately falling to your knees and reaching for the band of his sweatpants.

“Woah, woah, wait, let me just-“

Your mouth waters when you pull his cock out from his briefs, the tip already red and leaking. You don’t know if it’s because he’s an alpha, but his cock is absurdly large and thick. You can barely wrap your hand around the base and the thought of taking him into your mouth is daunting, but you would regret it if you didn’t try. You take an experimental lick, watching the way Jaemin struggles above you.

“Slow down, we don’t have to do this now-“

You ignore him again, enveloping the tip in your mouth as he releases a long groan. Your eyes flutter shut, pushing him deeper and deeper into your throat. You run your tongue along the base of his cock, licking and swallowing him. He’s barely holding on to the last string of his control, and you can tell by the way his hands are clenched at his sides.

You decide to push him further, casually deepthroating him and locking your gaze with his. The sound of you choking on him snaps him awake, and it isn’t long before he’s gripping your hair and throwing you on his bed. You squeal at the force of his movements. He pushes you on your stomach, fingers gripping the flesh of your ass.

He hisses in your ear. “You’re going to be a good girl for your alpha, aren’t you?”

“I’ll be good, alpha,” you keen. “I’m good for you.”

“Yeah?” He grunts, watching as you arch your back. “You’ve been waiting a long time for me, haven’t you?”

“So long,” you practically sob. “Just want my alpha to make me feel good.”

You hear the rip of your skirt and he tears the fabric of your top, tossing both items across the room. He’s feral at this point and you have no intention of stopping him. It feels electrifying to have him this close to you, touching you in all the places you never thought before.

Even though he’s your best friend, it feels as if he’s been doing this with you for years. He doesn’t feel like a stranger as he grabs your waist, finger running up and down your clothed slit.

“Aw, pretty girl, look at how wet you are for me,” he muses, pulling your underwear down to fully see you. “So beautiful. Is this all for me?”

“Yes,” you whimper. “All for you, just for you.”

You see stars when he sinks his finger into you, moaning at his touch. You hear him murmur behind you.

“So so perfect, so pretty and wet. You’re so good for your alpha.”

You flourish under Jaemin’s praises, his eyes observing as you submit further to him. You wish you read more on the subject of alphas and their mates. The way Jaemin’s touching you is sending your mind into overdrive, and you’re not even sure what to do when you hear the slick of your cunt as he slides another finger into you. He’s cooing at you, chanting how you’re such a ‘good girl’ for him.

You shut your eyes as he builds a steady pace with his fingers, brushing against your sweet spot. You moan loudly, not registering the volume of your voice. He doesn’t seem to mind you being loud either.

“Such pretty noises,” he hums, digging his other hand into your side and picking up the pace inside of you. You cry and squirm away from him, but he holds you in place. “I imagined for so long what you would sound like. Full moons were the worst. I couldn’t bear the thought of someone else being able to see you like this, touch you like this. You drove me insane.”

“J-Jaemin,” you whimper, getting closer and closer to snapping.

He hums again in response. “Almost there, sweet girl? You’re so pliant for me, so easy to fuck. But it’s all for me and only me, isn’t that right?”

“Yes, yes, only for you, alpha,” you whisper, fingers gripping the sheets as you near the edge.

“Pretty little pussy you have, I can’t wait to knot you. You’re going to take my knot so well, aren’t you? I chose you to take it, and to stuff your cunt full of my cum. I wonder how I could fit my cock into you, you seem too small to take it, pretty girl.”

“I-I can t-take it,” you struggle to get the words out, your brain turning a bit fuzzy. Once he brushes your sweet spot again, your body explodes and you sob loudly at the intensity of your orgasm. Jaemin praises you throughout it, eyes locked on your cunt gushing into his palm.

“So pretty, such a pretty girl. You came so much for me.”

As you float down from your high, you can hear the sound of Jaemin greedily licking his fingers. You nearly scream when you feel his tongue prod at your pussy.

“No, n-no, Jaem, please-“ you begin to beg, squeamish from the overstimulation, but it’s useless. He loves the taste of your cunt already, digging in like it’s his last meal.

Your body begins to ache and you slowly sink down on the bed, tired of arching your back. Jaemin doesn’t seem to mind, following you down as he slurps up your cunt. You’re mumbling incoherent noises as he sucks on your folds, and you can feel his smile when he plays with your clit.

“Alpha,” you whisper breathlessly. “Alpha, I can’t.”

He clicks his tongue. “I know you can. I chose you because you can. Take what I give you, pretty girl. I know you can be good for me.”

You lay there, boneless, as he dips his tongue into your entrance. You barely scream when your second orgasm rolls over you, the sound catching in your throat. He licks up the evidence and you try to wave your hand back to stop him. He gets the message, pulling back and wiping his chin with the back of his hand.

“You taste so sweet, pretty girl. I’ve never tasted a cunt that good before. All for me, right?”

“Yes,” you answer. “All for you, alpha.”

You hear him shifting behind you, and you see him toss his clothes over his shoulder. He picks you up and adjusts you until you’re seated on his lap, hovering just above his cock. He takes note of your sleepy gaze and smiles, kissing down your neck.

“Tired, sweet girl? Don’t want to take my cock anymore?”

You blearily blink. “No, no, I want to take your cock, alpha. Please give it to me.”

He chuckles at your compliance, eyes zeroing in on your glistening pussy. “You’ve been so good for me. Want your reward now?”

“Yes, yes, alpha.”

He suddenly turns serious, brushing your hair away and cupping your cheeks.

“This means forever. I want you to understand that.”

It’s a little frightening — the thought of being bound to someone forever. However, you’re willing to do anything for Jaemin, and you know he loves you. You’re blissfully happy at the thought of forever.

You nod, smiling. “Want to be with you, Jaem.”

He grins and presses a kiss to your lips. “Good girl.”

Your smile quickly turns into a gasp as he pushes you down on his cock. You scramble in his hold, fingers digging into his shoulders.

He shushes you softly. “It’s okay, pretty girl. I got you, trust me.”

Head thrown back and lips parted, you feel utterly fucked as Jaemin impales you. You weren’t even aware your cunt could stretch this far for him, taking him in. The stretch doesn’t hurt like you think it will, it feels surprisingly satisfying. You feel whole like this, finally connecting him to you.

Once he bottoms out, he gives you time to adjust. You don’t even realize you’re crying until he wipes stray tears from your cheek.

“You’re doing so well for me, sweet girl. Took my cock so well. I know you’ll take my knot like a champ too.”

You feel drunk on him despite the fact that his cock could split you in half. You take a few more seconds to yourself before you nod, giving him the okay to move.

He starts out gently, even though you can see him clenching his teeth trying to control himself. You decide to push him.

You lean in and whisper in his ear. “Fuck me good, alpha. Show me I’m yours, and yours only.”

He throws you back down onto the bed, growling at your submission. You cry when he drills into you, showing no mercy any longer. His cock is tearing you apart and you welcome it with open arms. His fingers dig roughly into your scalp, his other hand groping your breast.

“You like it when your alpha fucks you like this? You like it when I have control of you?” He practically growls at you, hips snapping into your thighs roughly. Your mouth hangs open, and if you were lucid, you would be embarrassed by the drool pooling at the side of your lips. He continues muttering obscenities at you, fueled by the feeling of your warm pussy wrapped around his cock. “Gonna fuck you until you can’t think of anyone else. Every time you touch yourself, you’re going to think about me. Only me. I’m going to make sure everyone knows you’re mine, make sure you’re pretty and pregnant for me.”

His fingers move from your breast into your mouth, and you subconsciously suck on the digits.

He snickers. “Look at you. Such a pretty fuck toy for me, taking my cock so well. You were made to be fucked, sweet girl. Made to take my cock and my cock only.”

You’re definitely out of coherent thoughts at this point. Jaemin flips you again, arching your back and you whimper at the ache. He drives into you harder and faster from behind, his balls slapping against your cunt in the most unholy way.

“Alpha, alpha, alpha,” you groan. “My alpha. So good, my alpha, so good. So big.”

“Need you to cum, sweet girl. Want to feel it. Give it to me, pretty girl.”

“Alpha, alpha,” you whimper, the coil in your stomach building and building. You soar when it snaps, and you swear you see white clouding your vision. You cry and cry, tears freely falling down your face as you clench around Jaemin.

You think you pass out for a few seconds. When you regain your strength, he’s flipped you on your side, gripping your ankle as he throws your foot over his shoulder. You let him do whatever he wants at this point, enjoying the way he presses against your clit every time he pushes in.

You can only hear parts of what he’s saying, a ringing sound still echoing in your ears.

“So good- such a pretty cunt- want to fuck you forever- going to show you off- beautiful- fucking pretty pussy- such a good girl for me.”

“J-Jaem,” you say, but you know he can’t hear you anymore. You think you have another orgasm, but the pleasure is mixing together too fast. You blackout again, waking up moments later to find Jaemin still fucking you senseless.

You’re on your back again with Jaemin hovering over you, pressing kisses down your neck. He’s muttering praises still, hands digging into your sides.

“Want to feel you forever. So good for me, pretty girl. You ready to take my knot?”

You lazily comb your fingers through his hair, feeling exhausted. “Please, alpha, give it to me.”

“Yeah?” He groans, pressing harder into you. “Want me?”

“I want you, I want you,” you echo, the familiar sensation pulsing through your veins.

He’s drilling faster now, pumping furiously into you as he chases his high. You think you’re screaming, but you can’t be entirely sure. You feel bad for whoever lives on Jaemin’s floor.

When he cums, you swear he’s been holding it in for years. His cum splashes against your walls as he empties himself inside of you. You squeeze around him again, finishing another orgasm.

It’s a few minutes later when you think it’s finally over. You start to relax, but the feeling is short lived. You sob when the base of Jaemin’s cock begins to swell, growing bigger and bigger.

“N-No, no, no, no-“

He shushes you. “It’s okay, pretty girl. You take my knot so well, I have so much cum for you.”

You swear you’ve lost your mind when Jaemin does, in fact, give you even more of his cum. It starts to leak out of your cunt because of the sheer amount, and he urges you through it with soft kisses. When he’s finally done, you feel like you’ve been fucked into the next century.

The only thing you can manage to say is, “You can’t fuck me again for three months, at least.”

He laughs at you and you try to throw him a serious look. He kisses your cheek.

“Oh, silly girl. What did I tell you before? I chose you because you’re made for me. You honestly don’t think I’m going to stop fucking you now, do you?”

Your eyes widen at his confession, and you shriek when he thrusts into you, his cock still hard.

“Such a pretty girl.”

#nct smut #jaemin #jaemin smut

4K notes · View notes

midgardianweasley · 3 years

Note

hiii i love your fics so much omg! anyway, i have a request that i've been daydreaming about that haha: nat and r get into a really big fight about smth (anything but cheating pls my heart won't be able to take that) and r kind of shuts down, and wanda & carol become super protective of her and follow her everywhere making sure she's ok. (and they're also glaring at nat any chance they get) but then nat comes into r's room one night and apologizes and they make up and snuggle and its soft hours

thank you so much! and of course lovely! here you go<33

Priorities

Natasha Romanoff x fem!reader

Summary: Natasha has been missing date nights, leaving Y/N embarrassed for the final time. When confronted, an argument unfolds, but can they come back from it?

Word Count: 4.6k

Warnings: some swearing, some self-neglect

Message/ask if you’d like to be added to the taglist! <3

“Another drink, miss?” The waiter in a smart, black tux asked you for the second time this evening, a part of you felt that it was out of pity as you sat alone at a table for two, and had been for the last two hours.

You were supposed to be meeting your girlfriend tonight for date night, you got all dressed up, makeup applied and hair styled perfectly, which had taken forever, only to be stood up. You wouldn’t have overly minded if this was a first occurrence, you would’ve brushed it off and rescheduled for another night. Which is what you had done, two missed date nights ago.

This was your third night of sitting alone in a crowded, candlelit restaurant as couples around you glanced over with a sympathetic gaze, which had only made you feel worse. Your girlfriend should be here. ‘Natasha should be here’, you thought. You looked up at the kind waiter, giving him a gentle smile before shaking your head.

“No, thank you. I think I'm calling it a night.” You spoke as you hurried to gather your things and get out of there as soon as possible, trying to hold back tears that you refused to let fall, not in front of all of these strangers. You hated this. You hated feeling so exposed. So vulnerable. You couldn’t help but feel anger bubble inside of you, thoughts of Natasha being the only thing currently plaguing your mind, most along the lines of; ‘What was her excuse this time?’ ‘Who is she with instead?’, but, there was one in particular that you couldn’t help but focus on.

‘She promised.’

You hadn’t realised you were crying until you were in the taxi, catching a glimpse of yourself in the rearview mirror when the driver had adjusted it slightly to see the cars behind you, in the process, you’d also caught her eyebrows raise in concern and it wasn’t long before she started conversation.

“You okay back there?”

You laughed somewhat bitterly, but it wasn’t towards her. “Nothing I can't handle.”

Your response didn’t seem to settle her worry as she turned quickly and shot you a sad smile before returning her eyes to the road.

“Boy troubles?”

“Girl.” You rubbed your face, trying to rid yourself of any tear stains that may be lingering and messing up your once really pretty makeup. Not that it really mattered at this point.

“Ah, been there.” She held up her left hand, showing you the shimmering diamond on her finger. “The wife and I have had our fair share of arguments and fallouts, some of them included a situation like this one.”

“Crying in the backseat of a taxi?”

“Crying in the backseat of a taxi.” She laughed lightly, making you smile for the first time tonight.

“It had always worked out though, we’ve never been stronger.”

“Congratulations.” You looked towards the woman “I hope I could be so lucky.” You mumbled, though still loud enough for her to hear. You were mad at Natasha, more disappointed really, but you still loved her, dangerously so. She could stand you up for another 50 dates, and you’d still be head over heels. Angry, but your love would never falter.

“I’m sure you will be. If there’s one thing I've learned over the years, it’s that things have a way of falling into place eventually.”

Pondering her words, you looked out of the car window and noticed that you were pulling up to Stark Tower. It wasn’t long before the car came to a complete stop, the woman turning round to you and beginning to speak again.

“You’ll be okay. It’s obvious you love her, okay? Speak to her. I’m sure it’ll be alright.” She looked at you with nothing but kindness in her eyes, which you did your best to return with a smile. You reached into your purse, handing her the money owed, plus a tip.

“Thank you for the help.”

“Don’t worry about it, go get her.” She winked as you got out of the car and watched her drive away, quickly taking yourself inside to avoid freezing to death as the cold wind blew harshly. Kicking your heels off, you set off with one task at hand. Talk to Nat.

__________________________

“Hey, have any of you guys seen Nat?” You addressed some members of the team who were hanging out in the Kitchen, fixing themselves a snack or just conversing with one another. The second they looked up and took in their appearance, you could’ve sworn their faces paled and saddened slightly as if they knew what had happened.

“I think I saw her head off to train a while ago, but I'm not sure if she’s still there.” Carol replied, her face morphing into one of seriousness. She knew about the missed dates, having found you one night looking completely defeated in one of your nicest dresses and heels. She, alongside Wanda, who had found you both later that night, had spent their night comforting you and reassuring you that she probably hadn’t meant it. They didn’t know what to do, they’d never seen you look so sad before, no matter how much you told them it was okay, the pang in their chest for their best friend hadn’t ceased.

You nodded, quietly thanking Carol and wandered off in search for your girlfriend.

It didn’t take long, she was still training when you’d walked into the gym, sweat practically pouring off of her. Your heart softened briefly when you saw her, her fiery red hair tied back into a ponytail with loose strands all over the place, wearing a black t-shirt, grey sweatpants and a deadpan face as she attacked the dusty punching bag with such force that you’re surprised it hasn’t flown off of the chains yet.

She hadn’t noticed you had walked in, still giving all of her focus to her punches. Maybe she just hadn’t heard you?

“Hi Nat.”

Nothing.

“Nat”

All you could hear was the furious rattling of chains, still not getting a response from the redhead. With a sigh, you decided to try another approach. You stepped closer to her, still keeping a little distance, and leaned forward to tap her shoulder, instantly grabbing her attention. She flung herself around, arm still in midair, her closed fist almost coming into contact with your face.

You don’t know what you expected when she turned around and finally acknowledged your presence, but you definitely didn’t expect to be met with a scowl.

“Seriously? in the middle of training? I could’ve hit you.” She huffed as she turned back to her previous position.

“Sorry. I just wanted to come in and talk to you.”

“About?”

You paused, expecting her to look at you again, but she didn’t.

With a small sigh, you continued. “you missed date night again. I waited for you, but you were a no show.”

“Right, yeah, date night” she muttered, seeming to be unfocused as her eyebrows furrowed and her head kept darting around the room, looking anywhere but at you. “I’ll make the next one.”

“This is the third one you’ve missed this month.” You said firmly, wanting her to understand that this can’t keep happening, of course cancellations or rearrangements were bound to happen sometimes, but she’s just not showing up and then leaving you in the dark as to knowing why.

“I told you, i’ll make the next one.” She walked over to the bench, picking up her water bottle and taking a swig of water, looking directly at you, you look back at her and she just looks so, unbothered.

“I don’t believe you, Nat. You say you’ll make it up to me and then I sit there again, hoping that you’ll be there this time, but you don’t turn up. And now I come back and you’re just training. Could it not have waited? Was that seriously more important?” You raised your voice now, all the anger and frustration you’d felt earlier coming back up to the surface.

You just wanted an explanation, or something to justify how she was acting, but she gave you nothing, not even an attempt, only adding fuel to the fire.

“Why are you getting so annoyed? You should know better than anyone that this is my job.”

“I just explained that to you! Which is more than what you’re giving me right now.”

“Okay, fine, forgive me for not making everything about you for a minute.” She spat bitterly towards you, her temper starting to go as the discussion became more heated.

“Seriously? That’s how you’re seeing this?” If you weren’t so unbelievably irritated, you would’ve laughed at her response.

“You’re being selfish. So I missed a date or two, you’re blowing this out of proportion once again, it’s infuriating.” Selfish?

You raised both your hands, as if in surrender. It was one thing to ditch you, it was another thing to then insult you for speaking up about it. With a tight lipped smile, oozing with sarcasm, you decided that you’d had enough.

“I don’t need to listen to this.”

She shrugged her shoulders, adjusting the gloves she’d just put on. “Then don’t, i’m busy anyways.”. This time, you did laugh.

“What a fucking surprise.”. And with that, you turned on your heels and walked out, hearing the echo of punches fill the room once again, every one feeling like a punch to the stomach.

Maybe these are things falling into place, just not the place you’d hoped.

________________________

You were still in bed at noon the next day, unable to bring yourself to get up and face the world. You didn’t need to worry about anything in the confinement of your bed, even more so considering it wasn’t the bed you shared with Natasha.

After speaking, well, arguing with her last night, you went straight to your shared bedroom, gathered some clothes and your essentials, and slept in your old room that you used to stay in before the two of you started dating. It felt wrong. You always spent your nights with a warm feeling of love washing over you as your girlfriend pressed kisses all over your face, tangling your limbs together in the process.

It wasn’t the same. You felt cold, a type of cold that no heating or blankets could solve. You lacked a weight on your waist, fingertips stroking the skin that was exposed due to your top riding up slightly. Instead, the only comfort you had was the small bear you’ve kept for the las year. It was one that Natasha had given you after she won it at the funfair on your third date, and you could never bring yourself to part with it, remembering how happy she looked when she handed it to you, and the butterflies you felt just from seeing her look so pleased.

The bear was a little worn and torn now, it had been ripped in a couple of places, now replaced with a little sewn on patch of material that didn’t exactly match the shade of brown, and one of the eyes had started to fall off, but you liked that it was different. The assassin had tried to offer to replace it and buy you a new one, but you’d always refuse, insistent that you would keep that bear with you for the rest of time. Even now, when the two of you weren’t speaking, you still held onto it with a death-tight grip.

A knock on the door snapped you out of your daydream.

“Y/N, open up, It’s me.” A familiar voice shouted through. Carol.

“And me!” Wanda.

You heard some muttering outside of the door, something along the lines of Carol suggesting they break the door down, immediately being told that it was unnecessary by the Sokovian. Feeling pretty against the idea of having a doorway with no door, you called out for them.

“Guys, it’s unlocked.” You were quiet, but it was clear that they had heard you as the faint talking stopped altogether and you heard them walk in and shut the door behind them with a ‘click’.

Wanda was the first to approach you, kneeling down beside the bed so that she was at eye level with you, pulling the bed covers down a little to uncover more than your forehead. Once she could see your eyes and nose, she sent you a warm smile.

“Hi sleepy. It’s noon.”

“I know.” She frowned when she heard you speak, your voice raspy from your crying through the night. She hated seeing you like this, she loved both you and Natasha, and it hurt to see you so sad because of the woman you adored.

“We should go and eat something, it’ll help.”

“‘M not hungry.” You pressed your head further into the pillow, the last thing you wanted to do was eat, your stomach already feeling like it was twisting with every minute that passed.

“C’mon, i’ll make you your favourite.” the blonde winked, leaning against your wardrobe.

“Your special pancakes?”

“With extra whipped cream.” She sang, playfully trying to encourage you to leave the bed. You had to hand it to her, she knew you too well.

WIth a brief look between the two, you rubbed your eyes and threw the covers off dramatically, sighing and ensuring that they knew you didn’t approve of this. They knew you were joking, even if you weren’t, all they cared about was making sure you were okay, knowing that when you felt like this, being left alone allows you to neglect yourself and get really low. They don’t mind if you dislike them for a little while, as long as you are looked after.

“There we go! Well done.” Wanda stroked your back and led you towards the door where Carol held it open for you.

“No breaking it down behind my back.” You shot towards her, slightly amused at the guilty look on her face as she realised you’d heard her quarrel beforehand. Shaking her head, she nudged you out of the door, and the three of you made your way into the kitchen.

_______________________

Carol had stuck to her promise of preparing a sweet treat for you, a stack of fluffy pancakes sat in front of you, topped with whipped cream and two cherries on top. You ate slow, still a little cautious of how stable your stomach felt. You could see your two friends talk with one another, not wanting to stare and make you uncomfortable, but occasionally looking over silently to check in on you.

You were feeling pretty content as you sat at the counter, munching away with the two avengers for company. It was only when you heard a voice that you could recognise anywhere.

“Hi guys.”

Not daring to look up, you ket your eyes focused on the food in front of you, hoping that if you just stay quiet, you’ll be invisible to the human eye.

“Hey Nat.”

“Hi.”

Wanda and Carol replied, wary of any interaction between the pair of you that could unfold into something neither of you wanted or that would lead to any regrets.

You lifted your head slightly, able to see the daggers Carol was throwing at Nat, not impressed with her being in the room. You both had always been quite close, often talking about life before becoming superheroes that protect the planet, in her case, planets. In the process, she’d found herself having a soft spot for you, wanting to protect you from anything that could bring you harm. Which you were grateful for, but her glaring was terrifying sometimes, you were more grateful for the fact that her powers weren’t in her eyes, otherwise you would’ve definitely become single five minutes ago.

You could see Natasha out of the corner of your eye, she was filling up the bottle she used for when she was training, her eyes weren’t on what she was doing, instead, she was trying to subtly look up at you through the hood of her eyes. You subconsciously took the opportunity to really take in her appearance.

Her hair hadn’t been tended to since you last saw her, half of it was hanging out of her ponytail, most of it falling in front of her face. Her eyes looked glassy and bloodshot, like she had been crying recently and you could’ve sworn that was your t-shirt she was wearing. The sight sent a wave of sadness over you, wanting nothing more than to leap over the counter and pull her into your arms and tell her things were fine, that the two of you were fine. But you stayed seated, too nervous to make a move.

You didn’t know it, but she regretted speaking to you last night, instantly realising what she’d done after she came back to her room to find it empty and half of your stuff gone. She knew immediately where you’d gone and would’ve gone through to talk it through with you, but she didn’t think it would help. She wanted you to have your time and space before approaching the situation.

With that, she tightened the lid on her bottle, sent you an apologetic smile and walked out of the room, leaving behind an awkward atmosphere in her absence.

“You alright?” Wanda asked

“Yeah, yeah no I'm okay. I’m feeling a little tired though, I'll catch you guys in a bit, okay?” You stood from your seat, not giving either of the two a chance to stop you as you walked out and back to bed. What a day.

_______________________

Hours had gone by now and you were back wrapped up under your bed covers, still clinging onto your bear. You hadn’t bothered to change, you went straight to bed after walking in the door. You’d managed to get some sleep earlier, not a lot, but it was something.

You tossed and turned, trying to find any way of being comfortable so your body could rest and your mind could shut off, but it was deemed to be impossible. All you could think about was your argument with Nat, and how she looked so upset earlier. The thought alone triggered the waterworks again, this time, you didn’t even attempt to stop them.

Only a couple of minutes had passed before there was yet again, another knock on your door. You rolled your eyes, really not wanting any more visitors, you were grateful for the help, but you really wanted to be alone.

“Guys, I’m fine! It’s late, get some sleep.” You called out, waiting to hear retreating footsteps, but they never came. Huh. That’s weird? You brushed it off quickly, assuming that it must’ve just been too quiet to hear, which you wouldn’t put past you due to all the sniffling you’ve been doing in an attempt to silence your crying.

You were wrong. The person at your door hadn’t walked away. They also weren’t Wanda or Carol. Instead, it was who you least expected to be in your room at god knows what time at night after the events that had unfolded recently.

“Hi.” The redhead whispered, worrying that if she spoke any louder, you’d be able to hear her voice shake with nerves, or the huge lump in her throat that wouldn’t budge.

You froze on the spot when you realised who it was, not entirely sure how you were gonna play this. Realistically, you might as well just see what it is she wants, it couldn’t hurt, could it?

“Hey.”

Her footsteps were practically silent but still felt deafening as she stepped closer to you, cringing slightly at how tense and forced all of this felt. It was her fault, she knew that, she hoped you did too. She didn’t want you blaming yourself for her actions, although she couldn’t say anything if you did, she was the one who had insulted you and planted the thought in your head, and she felt every fibre in her body beg for you to forgive her.

Approaching with caution, she walked up to the top of the bed, kneeling where Wanda had been earlier, but unlike Wanda, she didn’t reach out for you. She didn’t feel she had the right. Not now. She quickly took note of your eyes and how they were drooping and red, just like how hers had been earlier, which is how she could know in an instant that you had just been crying. She felt like a knife had gone through her chest at the sight, knowing that she had done that to you. She’d let you down so much that it had brought you to laying in bed alone and crying.

You mumbled something incoherent, completely muffled by the covers that were blocking your mouth.

“Sorry, I couldn’t hear you through the cover, could you tell me that again?”

You looked down a little, debating on doing it or just asking her to leave this conversation for another day. ‘But, she was already here, so you may as well get on with it.’ you thought, and with that, you tugged the covers down a little, letting Natasha see your full face now, unable to stop a tiny hint of a smile creeping up on her face. Your nose was runny, your eyes were puffy, and your face was flushed, but that didn’t change the fact that she still believed you to be the most beautiful woman she’d seen.

“Has something h-happened?” You hiccuped, noticing the frown take over her features as she maintained her eye contact with you.

“Yeah. i was a complete idiot.”

“Nat-”

“No, no, please. I want to explain. I need to explain. Please?” She pleaded, not caring how desperate she might’ve looked.

You paused for a minute before sighing gently, nodding at her and giving her a non-verbal go ahead to continue. She took a deep breath, looking away for a second then looking back at you before you could even blink. You could see her hands tremble a little, and while you were upset with her, you couldn’t leave it alone. You reached your hand out from under the cover and held it out to her, offering it for her to hold. She grabbed it without hesitation, squeezing it gently as a single tear fell, gathering the courage to say her next words.

“I have no excuse for what I did. There is nothing I could say that would make my actions plausible or acceptable, I shouldn’t have treated you like that or said what I did, and I understand if you can’t forgive me, or don’t want to. But I needed-, no, I need you to know, I'm sorry. I’m so sorry, Y/N. You deserve better.”

More tears had fallen down her face at this point, her thumb not ceasing in their circular movements on the back of your hand. She didn’t know if this was going to be the last time she felt your hand in hers, so with every circle, she was savouring the moment, no matter how badly she wished it was under different circumstances.

You shuffled a little so you were in a more upright position, hoping that it would make speaking easier. You’d taken in every word, and while you were hurt, extremely hurt, you saw how remorseful she was. Her face showed no sign of humour or like she was lying. You could always tell when she was lying, her eyebrow always twitched a little, which you would always be in stitches about when she tried to say she didn’t eat your last cookie and her eyebrows would be moving like mad. They were as still as stone when she was speaking this time.

“You really hurt me, Nat. I didn’t think I was asking for much, just some time with you, that was all. And you left me every time, for work and with no notice. It was embarrassing.” She nodded in acknowledgement as she listened. “A-and then to come back and witness you being so, so, hostile, with me, I didn’t understand what I'd done.”

She gulped audibly before speaking again. “You hadn’t done a thing. Not a thing. I-I threw myself into work, into training. The last mission, I was sloppy, I wasn’t on my A game, it almost ended up with other people seriously hurt. So I thought-” She took a shaky breath in. “I thought, if I trained harder, It would mean I would be better for the next mission. But I disregarded everything else on the radar, including you, and then I got so mad at myself for it that I ended up taking it out on you instead. You don’t have a selfish bone in your body, and it was out of order for me to ever say so. It was wrong, and I don’t think I can apologise enough.`` She gave you an apologetic smile, tears streaming down her face steadily now.

“You know, when I came home from the restaurant, I had this driver.” You smiled. “Nice woman, she’s got a wife. She was telling me that it wasn’t easy for them. They had their ups and downs, their fights and bitterness. But they always found their way back to each other.” You whispered so softly that if there was any other noise in the room, Natasha wouldn’t have heard a word.

“And, when we argued, I really didn’t think we were going to be able to come back from that. I thought that maybe our time had expired.” You sniffled, your own tears trailing their way down your cheeks. Without thinking, she wiped them away, her palm pressing onto your warm cheek as you nuzzled into it, still finding comfort in her touch.

“I don’t want us to expire, Nat.”

There it was. There was the sentence that turned silent tears into fully body wracking sobs, your hands instinctively going to pull away and cover your face, instead, Natasha brought herself up to sit on the side of your bed, hastily bringing you into her chest and her free hand combing its way through your hair.

She rocked you back and forth, letting you get everything out of your system, no matter how much it hurt to hear.

“Shh, I’ve got you. I’m so sorry, moya lyubov.”

Your sobs soon died down with Nat’s help, sobs turning into faint pants with how tired you were and how much energy it had taken out of you. You looked up at her softly, as she smiled down at you.

“I love you, Natty.” You murmured, the words making the assassin’s heart grow fonder for you, if that was ever possible.

“I love you more.”

“Can you stay with me tonight? I can’t sleep without you.”

“Of course. Anything for you.” She leaned over you, bringing the blankets back up and over you, catching a glimpse of some brown fur among the darkness. She knew exactly what it was. She picked up up with the blankets and handed it to you, happiness overtaking her as she saw your eyes light up at the teddy she won for you.

“Thank you.”

“No, thank you, Detka.” She pressed a kiss to your temple before settling down, holding you tight in her grasp, refusing to let you go for anything or anyone, not that you were complaining, you’d missed this.

Nothing had to be decided tonight, there was no rush for discussion. Sure, there were still things to talk through and work out, but that can wait. All that mattered right now, was that Natasha was there. She was holding you in her arms and you felt every ounce of love and apology she could give you. And that was enough for now.

taglist: @natashas-favourite-knives @wandaromanova @wvnda-maximoff

#natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff x fem!reader #natasha romanoff fanfiction #natasha romanoff oneshot #natasha romanoff imagine #natasha romanoff angst #natasha romanoff fluff #natasha x reader #natasha romanoff fanfic #natasha romanov #natasha romanoff smut #marvel #marvel fanfiction #mcu #mcu fandom #natasha romanoff fluffy

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gladerwolfstarkimagines · 3 years

Text

Imagine being Lin Beifong’s daughter and Korra having a crush on you

You entered President Raiko’s party late and hurried inside hoping to avoid your mother’s wrath by appearing as soon as possible. Being Lin Beifong’s daughter and employee meant she was twice as hard on you as anyone on the force, so she would not take your tardiness well. You were waved into the building by guards who recognised you on sight and rushed into the ballroom. You saw the party was already in full swing and braced yourself for all the fake smiling you’d have to endure when a young woman appeared across from you. “Avatar Korra” you nodded in recognition of the girl who grinned at you. “Miss Beifong” she smiled in greeting “you look as beautiful as ever...you legs alone seem to go on for years in those trousers” she commented glancing at them and you blushed. “Funny I just had a similar thought about your biceps”. Korra beamed “ow you can’t really see them in this thing but I’d be happy to give you a closer look”.

You couldn’t resist a smile and your blush grew to have such a beautiful woman flirt so blatantly with you. Korra was always like this around you and you enjoyed it greatly even if it wasn’t professional. Korra was a breath of fresh air in Republic City and you enjoyed her confidence and humour. You liked the avatar a lot but you had no intentions of pursuing anything beyond flirting with her. For one thing she was young, cocky, beautiful and THE avatar. You supposed she had hundreds of boys and girls queueing up for her and didn’t want to just be another name on her list. You’d heard about how the previous water tribe avatar had been a hit with women and apparently that was a trait Korra shared. She was the avatar, who wouldn’t be weak to her charm? Still you tried to behave so aimed to change the topic of conversation.

“I think we should join the party seeing as we’re both very late” you smiled slyly and Korra smirked “I didn’t think Beifongs were ever late. Are you really trying to tell me you’re not perfect?”. The girl was insatiable. “We all have our secrets” you replied and Korra’s grin only grew. “Mysterious, intelligent and beautiful...you have to let me lead you into the party. As the Avatar it’s my duty to serve the people”. “Well who I am to get in the way of that” you smirked rolling your eyes as you took her outstretched arm. Korra led you into the party proudly and you enjoyed being on her arm. Still you were in work mode, so you only stayed by Korra’s side for an appropriate amount of time before excusing yourself so nobody would get the wrong idea. Korra never failed to make you smile or blush but you wouldn’t let it progress no matter how much fun it would be. So you allowed the flirting and lingering glances but stopped it from going any further.

You saw Korra pretty regularly as she was always in trouble with the law in some way or another and not a month after the party President Raiko banned her from Republic City. It was something he’d likely take back pretty soon but still she had to leave so you and your mother went to help her however you could. The avatar didn’t seem too bothered by the President’s command and still had that cocky smile on her face. She let you into Tenzin’s home and explained how she was leaving tomorrow to go look for air benders anyway. She read out the names of some known airbenders in the earth kingdom and you paused as one was familiar. “Wait did you say Opal? Is she from Zafou by any chance?” you asked and Korra nodded “yeah why?”. Your mother tried to silence you but you didn’t notice, too excited. “She’s my cousin!” you burst “This is so great, i’m so proud of her”. “Wait so Suyin is your sister?” Korra asked Lin and your mother nodded “yes. Which is something I wished to remain a secret but clearly that is not an option anymore” she said shooting you a look. “Well this is great news” Korra smiled “you have to come with me!”. “What!” your mother cried and Korra sighed “if she’s your niece then you can help us recruit her! We need all the help we can get”. “No way!” Lin cried “I am not seeing my sister ever again if I can help it, y/n can go if you want a Beifong so badly”. Korra looked at you and smiled “that does sound appealing, what do you say y/n? Want to come on a field trip with me?”. Korra held out her hand to you and you blushed, hoping your mother didn’t notice. You knew you probably shouldn’t go. Being in close quarters with Korra would certainly challenge your restraint but you hadn’t seen your extended family in so long and this was the perfect opportunity to go visit. Plus Korra looked so good when she smiled at you like that. “Sure” you said taking her hand “someone has to keep you out of trouble”.

You met Korra and her friends at Future Industries the next day and were soon flying to Zafou. Korra came to stand beside you on the deck and leant forwards flexing her arms right in front of you. “I’m glad you agreed to come” Korra smiled and you nodded “me too, it’s been forever since I’ve got out of Republic City”. Korra’s eye glinted “does this mean I’m going to witness holiday y/n? It’d be fun to see you let your hair down and go wild”. “If you’re lucky maybe you will” you smirked and Korra nodded “i’m looking forward to it” and winked before leaving you alone once more. You stared after her as she walked away and Korra must’ve felt your eye on her because before she disappeared back into the ship she turned and caught you red-handed watching her. She smiled widely a chuckle slipping from her lips and you turned around sharply, blushing vividly. Agreeing to this trip may not have been a smart decision at all.

When you touched down in Zafou Korra had you right beside her in pride of place. You recognised your aunt immediately and she addressed Korra first before she spotted you beside her and she did a double-take. “Y/n?” she asked and you grinned “Aunt Suyin!” and rushed forwards to hug her. Your aunt wrapped you in a hug and then quickly tugged you to go find your cousins, momentarily forgetting the avatar was here. She summoned all your cousins and they rushed to greet you...well some did. Bataar junior didn’t look impressed and Huan just glanced at you not particularly bothered but the twins and Opal were very welcoming. “It’s so good to see you again!” Opal cried and you nodded taking her hand “it is! It’s been far too long and I can’t believe you’re an airbender now!”. Opal nodded “trust me it was a shock to us all but i’m so excited to learn airbending”. “Well Korra can definitely help you with that” you said gesturing to the avatar who nodded confidently “of course, anything for y/n’s cousin” and you blushed slightly but managed to hide it.

You enjoyed your time with your family greatly and got along well with all your cousins. You participated in Wei and Wing’s power disk game and being a good metal bender yourself almost won the match. You noticed Korra watching you and briefly tried showing off before getting wiped out. The twins noticed Korra watching and invited her to join but she declined explaining she couldn’t metal bend. Your cousins rushed to assure her she could learn and volunteered to teach her. Korra seemed very excited at the idea and agreed before she turned to you “wait a minute y/n why did you never offer to teach me?”. You could tell she was only feigning annoyance so you shrugged “what can you blame me for wanting something over the almighty avatar?”. That stroked Korra’s ego and she smiled lazily “no but I’ll certainly get my own back in some way”. “Ow really? How”? you challenged her and the girl just shrugged. “I’m not sure yet, but be on your best behaviour Beifong” she smirked before rushing away.

Korra went off to train with your cousins and you were relieved hoping this would be a time for you to cool down and recover but no. Opal caught you and invited you to catch up with her in the gardens. You of course obliged your cousin but found yourself seated directly in view of Korra’s training with your cousins. You tried focusing on Opal but your eyes kept getting pulled to the avatar as she picked up metal bending remarkedly quickly. You noticed Korra had spotted you and she appeared to be putting on a show, trying valiantly to challenge your cousin entirely for your benefit. It was a clever strategy and soon Opal trailed off just letting you admire Korra. Your cousins were experiencing first-hand just how skilled the avatar could be and you saw them breaking out in a sweat with how hard Korra was pushing them.

After a while they began trying to score past one another and Korra got an idea. She *accidentally* bent a disk near you and your cousin Wei teased her for being sloppy. She just shot them a lopsided grin and jogged over to you. “Ladies” she smiled looking straight at you “i’m sorry I didn’t see you there”. “Ow really?” you asked and Korra grinned “yeah I had no idea you were here whatsoever...which is odd considering how every eye is drawn to you whenever you’re nearby”. You blushed going red and Korra’s smile grew “I’ll leave you to your chat. Opal, Y/n” she nodded at you both in turn but winked when she met your gaze. You watched her run back to your cousins and found Opal staring at you. She immediately pushed you squealing “you didn’t tell me you were dating the avatar!”. “I’m not and keep your voice down please” you begged seeing the smug look on Korra’s face which told you she’d noticed Opal’s reaction. “But she was very openly flirting with you” Opal retorted and you nodded “I know we do that a lot but it’s just our friendship. I’d never let it go further because she’s the avatar! She’s not after a relationship she just wants a fun fling and I can’t give her that. Trust me the avatar will get bored of me and move on soon enough”. “Ow yeah?” Opal asked looking to where Korra was still putting on a show for you. Korra scored a point and shot you a smile. You blushed vividly and Opal laughed “I don’t think she’s not going cold on you any time soon”.

At the end of the week your Aunt Suyin threw a party to celebrate Opal’s progress and avatar’s arrival. It was magnificent and you hadn’t seen this much earth kingdom food in...well forever! You made sure Korra and the others were all okay and socialised with your cousins greatly enjoying being with your family. Bataar jnr told you about his machines, his girlfriend Kuvira traded military expertise with you, Wei and Wing quizzed you about all the pro-bending in Republic City, you teased Opal about her crush on Bolin and even Huan showed you some of his paintings. You were absolutely thrilled your family still felt like a family after all this time and hadn’t been this happy in a long time. However all that excitement can be draining. Towards the end of the night you began to grow tired so went outside for some fresh air and quiet. You were relaxing in the picturesque moonlight when you were disturbed. “Well your aunt certainly knows how to put on a spread” someone called and you jumped to find Avatar Korra making her way over to you on the abandoned balcony. She was wearing a beautiful blue dress and her eyes shone in the dark light. “She does” you smiled “never let it be said Beifong’s don’t know how to put on an event”. “That’s for sure” Korra agreed coming to sit right beside you. “The city is so beautiful” she commented before she turned “as are you”. “Thanks” you blushed “you look very beautiful too”. “There’s no way I can compete with you in that outfit” Korra smiled “Beifong’s apparently always look stunning as well as being great hostesses”. “Have you been checking out my aunt then?” you replied and Korra laughed “of course not, I only have eyes for you”. “Sureeee” you laughed but Korra nodded “I do I promise! You’re all I think about and why wouldn’t I? You’re the most interesting girl I’ve ever met. I’m crazy about you”. You blushed under Korra’s intense gaze but didn’t look away. “I....I don’t know what to say” you finally spoke up and Korra shrugged “well then how about we don’t bother talking anymore?”. Time seemed to freeze and you viewed the present in slow motion as Korra cupped your cheek gently and leant forwards. You liked the way her hands felt on you and instinctively leant into her before your brain caught up with the situation. “Wait! Korra I can’t” you said your heart hammering in your chest and the avatar frowned inches away from you. “You can’t? why? Do you not find me attractive?” Korra asked. “No of course I find you very attractive, i’ve never seen a human being I find more attractive than you” you admitted very flustered. “Then what’s the problem?” Korra asked and you sighed “the problem is I don’t just want to hook up with you a few times and be done with it. I know some people like that kind of thing and i’m sure as the avatar it is the perfect option but I’m not like that. Casual one night stands just aren’t my thing so I’m sorry I have to decline. Please don’t ask me again” and you rushed away. Korra called after you but you clearly wanted to be left alone so she didn’t follow you. She hung her head in her hands at how messed up things had gotten.

When Korra had allowed herself to wallow for a bit she came back inside to find the party over. She made her way to her shared room and found Asami waiting. “Korra where have you been we were all worried sick and...” Asami started when she caught sight of Korra’s expression and stopped abruptly. “What’s wrong?” Asami asked and Korra sighed “you gave me terrible advice that’s what!”. Korra explained the situation more and Asami felt awful. Being more experienced with relationships Korra had come to Asami for advice on how to approach her feelings for you and it hadn’t worked well. Given Korra’s past approach of blurting out her love for people without a second thought, Asami advised Korra to try a different approach with you but she hadn’t meant it so literally. Instead of being serious or passionate Korra had been entirely flirty and forward with you. No substance just fun. So you’d wrongly gotten the idea all Korra wanted was a fun fling when she actually was madly infatuated with you and wanted far more long term things with you. Asami wasn’t sure what she could do but seeing Korra so distraught she knew she had to try and help her friend.

So Asami made her way to your room hoping you wouldn’t mind such a late-night visit. Asami knocked on your door and heard movement inside. There was a pause before she heard you call “who is it?” nervously. “It’s Asami” she called back “I need to speak to you”. The door opened slowly and Asami saw you looked upset. “Did Korra send you”? you asked quietly “because she didn’t do anything wrong I just need some space”. “No she didn’t send me but I am here because of her, I need to confess something”. Your eyes widened in confusion but you nodded and let Asami into your room. The minute you turned to face her Asami burst “It’s my fault! Korra came to me when she realised she liked you and asked me for advice. She was terrified of messing this up and doing what she did with Mako...with him she’d blurted out a lot of intense things right away and so I told her to do the opposite. I suggested she just toned down the seriousness and had fun with you. Flirt a little and try and gauge how you were feeling before she confessed her whole heart to you. But it seems she took my advice too much and now you don’t think her intentions are good at all which is not the case! Korra very much likes you for more than just your appearance and she has for a while”. You stared at Asami at an apparent loss for words “so Korra was...what acting?”. Asami shrugged “kind of, she was putting on this cocky flirty front when she’s actually a lot more emotional and sweet...she didn’t mean to come across so forward she was just following my advice which backfired horribly. I’m so sorry it upset you I promise that was not her intention at all. If you want to blame anyone blame me”. You assured Asami you weren’t upset with her and spent the next half hour understanding how the situation had gone so wrong. You were very excited by the end of it and couldn’t wait till morning to speak with Korra. Asami told you she was in their room and wouldn’t mind you disturbing her so late.

So you rushed to Korra’s shared room and knocked on the door lightly. Your stomach was bubbling with butterflies and you weren’t sure what you were going to say when you saw her. The door didn’t open so you knocked louder hoping Korra wasn’t asleep. Still there was no sound from inside so you frowned and decided she must be asleep. You didn’t want to wake her so started to retreat from the room when you heard a loud thud from inside. “Korra?” you called through the door “are you okay?”. You got no reply and were growing more and more concerned when you heard something smash inside followed by a grunt of pain. “Korra?” you yelled through the door and began bending the metal of the lock. The door swung open and you saw the room was an utter mess. Naga was unconscious on the floor and by the window...four people had a struggling Korra in their arms. She looked very weak and wasn’t putting up much of a fight so you figured she must’ve been drugged. “Korra!” you cried rushing into the room. You had no idea who these people were but you weren’t letting them take Korra. You launched into a flurry of attacks and managed to land a few hits on the earth and water bender. The air bender sent a gust which knocked you back but you were quick on your feet and pursued them leaping out of the window. You yelled as you chased them quickly attracting the attention of the guards who sounded the alarm. Suyin appeared as did her guard Kuvira and they helped cut the quartet off. “You have nowhere left to go, let her go” you glared and the leader just smiled “never”. You looked at Korra lying limp at their feet and felt rage take you. “Then i’ll drag her from you myself” and ran at him.

3 hours later

You were sat in the infirmary beside an unconscious Korra waiting for the effect of the drug to wear off. Everyone else had gradually retreated to bed but you couldn’t sleep. The adrenaline from the fight was still pulsing through your veins and was only overshadowed by your worry for Korra. You’d won the fight with the help of Suyin, her guards and Korra’s friends but still the drug they’d used hadn’t worn off. Your eyes fell to her for what felt like the hundredth time and you sighed “please wake up”. Finally Korra listened. With a loud gasp Korra jolted awake and you scrambled to your feet. “Korra breath! You’re okay, you’re safe just breathe!” you commanded and Korra slowly began to calm down. “Y/n? What happened?”. “The White Lotus, I didn’t realise it was them at first but i’ve been briefed on them. They tried to kidnap you when you were a kid and they tried again tonight”. You saw Korra shiver at that and frowned. “But never mind them” you sighed wrapping an extra blanket around her shoulders “how are you feeling?”. Korra frowned “okay...a bit groggy like i’ve come out of a really heavy sleep but it’s not too bad. It’s getting better. How are you?” she asked and you froze “me?”. “Yeah” Korra said offering you a small smile “you don’t look like you’ve slept a wink”. You chuckled softly “I haven’t. I wanted to see you wake up first and make sure you were okay. I haven’t been able to rest since it happened...I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw them with you I was so angry but you’re okay now and that’s all that matters". Korra smiled at you "yeah I'm okay now...thanks to you". It wasn’t the usual cocky smirks she sent you. Instead it was a sweet tired smile but it made your heart hammer in your chest just as much. "Do you remember much?" you asked and she shook her head. "No I remember something hitting Naga. I went to look at it when one hit me too. I backed away from the window as the world began to spin and then everything went blurry...the next thing I remember was seeing you in my doorway. You attacked whoever had me and I fell. I remember being unable to move and seeing you send rocks flying through the air. You were terrifying" she laughed "a woman possessed". "Of course I was they were going to take you! I know I might have sent mixed messages last night but I like you Korra. I was coming to tell you that. Asami explained to me what happened and why you behave as you do around me". Korra blushed at that "what were you coming to say to me?". "Well I was coming to ask if it was true, did you really put on a mask around me, acting all confident and promiscuous?". Korra nodded "yeah...I meant everything I said to you I wasn’t lying about my attraction but I was doing the opposite of what I'd usually do because my last relationship didn’t work out well. I came on too intense too quick so I tried to take a more fun carefree approach but that didn’t work. I'm sorry I offended you or made you think I was only interested in you for one thing. I do think you’re gorgeous but that's just one of many things I like about you and by no means the most important". Korra blushed looking down and you found her adorable. How had she hidden this side of her so well? "So is this, you know, the real you?" you asked double-checking. Korra nodded "yep, this is me. I'm emotional, reckless and I always say the wrong thing. I have no tact and just say what I'm thinking. Now you can probably see why I was trying to act so put together and impressive before. They're much more attractive qualities". "Maybe" you shrugged "but I think this side of you is just as attractive, more so actually because it's real and it's beautiful. You're wonderful Korra exactly as you are". Korra stared at you in shock and you just smiled at her. "I...I..." she babbled and you smirked "how about I kiss you to save you having to speak?". "Yes please" the avatar breathed and you gently placed a hand on her cheek and kissed her. The kiss was sweet and Korra seemed uncharacteristically shy. She pulled back blushing vividly and you smiled at her reaction "how was it?". "Good...amazing" she replied and you smiled "great". Korra looked up at you but blushed as soon as she met your eye and you smiled taking her hand softly "I like you Korra and that kiss was good for me too, if you’d like to make it a more frequent thing we could go out on a date sometime?". "I'd love that!" Korra agreed before wincing "too eager?". "No it was adorable like you" you smiled kissing her forehead "now it really is late. You should try and get some rest, something tells me the next few days are going to be very long and strenuous". Korra nodded "I agree, goodnight y/n". "Goodnight Korra" you smiled and closed her door softly. The avatar wasn’t a womaniser but a shy bashful passionate woman. You were pleasantly surprised and couldn’t wait to see all the different layers of her left to discover.

____

Korra is 100% one of those people that’s all talk but is actually a huge softie romantically. Asami is one lucky lady (althought she’s also amazing so Korra is lucky too).

Also why is there so little Korra content out there? Her and Huan Beifong are very under-represented in the fanfiction game and I am personally offended by that 😂

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pies-writes-and-more · 4 years

Text

Haikyuu boys and wearing their clothes

Characters: Asahi Azumane, Kageyama Tobio, Sugawara Koushi, Tsukishima Kei, Bokuto Kotaro, Ushijima Wakatoshi, all with a gender-neutral reader :) (let me know if I missed a pronoun change or made something too femme! I very much so did not proof read this lol)

Warnings: Probably some swearing

A/N: This might be an overdone topic but I love it so much soooooo no regrets :) Let me know if you’d like more!

Asahi literally carries a picture of you in his phone case because he loves you in his clothes so much. He also has a pic of you wearing his hoodie as his wallpaper, and another printed pic of you framed in his room. I don’t care what size you are, his sweaters still manage to feel gigantic on you. It is like a hug FOREVER.

He literally could not care less that his closet is slowly growing smaller because it means that he gets to see you in his clothes. Eventually, you’ll carry them all back to him in a bag so that he can make them smell like him again. But this is his favourite part, because now his favourite items smell like you.

Daydreaming in class? Thinking of you wearing the sweater he has on.

Gets smacked by a volleyball during practice? It’s cause the smell of you is still on his jersey.

This man trips over his own two feet cause he’s trying to find you in the halls and you wave at him wearing his volleyball jacket ”So that’s where that went. I thought I forgot it somewhere...”

The two of you would trade sweaters before he went on any overnight trips and you’d send him snapchats of you cuddling with the sweater over a pillow or just you snuggled in bed with it on. He’d screenshot all of them, regardless of if you thought you looked good.

He has an album of you. He will never delete them because they’re all precious.

His teammates have accidentally caught him looking through it before a game because it really de-stressed him if you weren’t able to attend the game in person (though you made it to most of them). Tanaka would burst into tears over not being able to have a significant other with cute photos of and would make Asahi promise to always treat you right. And Asahi would just stare at your photos with his cute little smile and obviously promise because his least favourite thing in the world is seeing you sad.

(Look at how cute he is omg)

Kageyama is confused when you ask to wear his sweater. You probably did it at a time that made some sort of sense. Like it was late at night and you were studying in the gym while Hinata and him were practicing.

The cool breeze into the gym made you shiver a little and you noticed that his sweater was just sitting there on the ground so when he came over to grab some water you just looked up at him with your signature puppy eyes. “Can I wear it?”

“Why?”

“Oi, stupid head. They’re probably cold!”

It would probably annoy him so much that Hinata figured it out before him. He’d kneel down and help you put it on, pulling it over your head and giving you a little smile cause you looked so damn cute in his sweater.

But now that you’ve started wearing his things, he’s still very confused as to why you ask for them. “Should we go shopping?” He’d ask you randomly on a weekend when there was no volleyball practice. And you’d just stare at him because why would Kageyama want to stand somewhere that wasn’t a gym. “Aren’t you running out of clothes to wear or something?”

It would take a while and some conversations before you realized he was asking cause you had like 3 hoodies, a t-shirt, and some track pants in your room that were very much so his. “I just like having a piece of you with me,” you’d explain. He would have to think it over but he was very happy with this idea.

There’s only one shirt you’re not allowed to take and it’s this cute little graphic tee you got him for his birthday that has a nice drawing of a milk carton on it. He loves it. He will kill anyone that laughs at it. And no, you cannot wear it because if you’re wearing, what is he supposed to wear.

Sugawara and you regularly switch clothes because this man gives no fucks for your gender roles thank you very much. He shows up to practice one day wearing a dark pinkish basic, or some floral print shirt that you had in your closet and the boys are like “um Suga what are you wearing?”

And he’s probably just like “it’s call fashion, look it up.” (Like Suga sweetie, it’s just a shirt lol)

If you own any tighter pants like yoga pants or leggings? Suga has worn them because his legs and ass look great in them and he will strut around fully confident with that knowledge.

Honestly, he probably steals your sweaters more than you realize. You guys are baking at his house one day and you’ve made a mESS of your clothes and he’s just like oh it’s okay I’ll get you some new clothes.

And you’re expecting this cute little pj set that he has that might fit you or some comfy clothes that he’s lending you. No. He legitimately has some of your clothes and gives them to you and you’re just like.... “Suga I’ve been looking for this shirt for weeks. I even asked you about it.”

And he is suddenly deaf, little shithead.

He likes you in any clothes but they have to be his comfy clothes or he will set that shit on fire. Ennoshita once offered you his gloves because it was fricken cold out and you forgot yours at home and Suga literally threw him across the road and was like “hello angel I have gloves for you”.

You’re just like “um... Ennoshita are you okay?” Boy probably has a concussion and Suga’s just like “who’s Ennoshita?”

Tsukishima will kill you if he finds you raiding his closet. Like if he walks into his room when you two are supposed to be studying and you’re just casually picking out a sweater, he will throw you on the bed and tickle you until you call for mercy.

Will he offer his clothes to you if you’re in need of something? Most of the time, yes. But you have to ask. No stealing allowed in this household.

Except one night you stayed over and totally forgot a night shirt. Tsukishima is already like half asleep because he woke up way too early for practice that morning, so you just sneak into his drawers and pull out the first shirt you can. You can’t even see what it has on it cause it’s fucking dark. Then you crawl into bed with him, figuring you’ll accept your punishment for stealing tomorrow.

And when he wakes up, you best believe he was annoyed. First off, who plans to stay over and doesn’t bring a shirt? Stupid, can’t you remember anything? But then he realizes, you grabbed this cute little dino graphic shirt and his face is RED. Pasty boi so bright, he might as well be Hinata’s hair. And he’s desperately trying to get out of the bed and run to the bathroom before you wake up because holy fuck you’re PRECIOUS?

But all of his squirming just wakes you up and you see him all flustered, and just assume he’s mad and you’re like I’m so sorry I just didn’t have anything else and was stupid and forgot. And he just hits you (lovingly) on the head, mutters some sort of insult, and moves on.

From then on, that is your designated shirt. It’s a comfort item almost. He’ll only really wear it when he has to be away from town overnight, in which case he’ll wear it as a reminder of you (he won’t admit to it but you tried to take the shirt as a keepsake for while he was gone and he only had a heart attack. Tsukishima Kei does not believe in lucky charms. But he has yet to lose a game when he wears that shirt the night before).

Bokuto has been WAITING for you to wear something of his, but you haven’t yet. And it’s been stressful. He keeps trying to find a good excuse to see you in his clothes but you’re always too well-prepared.

“It’s kinda chilly out, Y/N, want my sweater??”

“I brought one, don’t worry!”

-.- *cue owl boi pouts*

And he doesn’t want you to wear something of his just because he asked. He wants to you want to wear his things. So he just waits. And pouts. And waits some more.

The day finally came when he was least expecting it. The gym that his game was in was freezing and you couldn’t imagine why. Most of the gyms they had played before in were pretty standard temperature but you were going to die if you stayed in the clothes you came in.

You had snuck onto the court while the boys were stretching, Akaashi smacking Bokuto in the head and interrupting his hype session to help him notice you.

“You wouldn’t happen to have a sweater with you, would you? It’s freezing!”

His eyes would widen. The day has finally arrived. He would finally get to see you in his clothes!!!!

But of course he has no sweater because he had not planned on needing one. Cue more sulking. Of course Akaashi comes over and offers his sweater and Bokuto almost bites his hand off.

“Well offer her your jacket then, idiot.” Akaashi just needs this man to hold off pouting till later.

Bokuto’s jacket just looked so perfect on you and it was a nice way to keep warm. You cheered him on during the games and after some jaw-dropping move of his, he would turn to your direction and send you a kiss. Embarrassing? A little. But he was such a cutie, how could you deny his air kiss?

Wearing his clothes became more common after that and he will literally bring you his whole closet so you can pick your favourites.

Ushijima didn’t even wait for you to ask to give you his clothes. He probably folded up his hoodie or jacket for you before a game and placed it awkwardly on your lap or in your arms and you’re just like um... do you want me to put this away for you or?

“Would you wear it for me?” How can you say no??? His cheeks are just slightly going red and he’s avoiding your eyes a bit so of course you have to wear it.

Ushijima thinks you look so nice in his clothes and he really likes how happy you look when he asks you to wear something, so he keeps doing it. That and he knows that sometimes people ask you out during his matches and he likes knowing that they’ll recognize his school colours or his jersey number and at that moment, he will send a calculated glare in their direction. And they will run for the hills, never to bother you again :)

I feel like he’s accidentally shrunk his clothes in the wash before and he just keeps them in a small pile in his room so that you can wear them when you come over. He also buys you proper house slippers that you can wear around his home because he wants you to be as comfy as possible.

Sometimes when you guys are just standing around waiting for a game to start, or if you’re all done eating lunch, he’ll unzip his track jacket and open it up so you can stand there and hug him, and he’ll hug you back with his hands in the pockets so it’s like you’re in the jacket with him (Tendo has definitely zipped it up before and trapped you guys in an awkward hug like stance and he will continue to do this because he thinks it’s hilarious. Has definitely snapped pictures of it and sent it to Ushijima. Ushijima saved it because it was kinda cute).

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cheekygreenty · 3 years

Note

Hi, I just saw your prompt list for Shadow&Bone!! could you possibly do No. 2 from Angst, but like with a happy ending? Like reader n Kirigan are togeather but then Alina's comes along.. just, please let be happy at the end. I like angst, but my heart can't handle sad endings 😢😢 thank you!!! ❤❤

Future- The Darkling x Reader

(Very very angsty with a happy (?) ending. It made me cry a lil bit writing it ngl)

You trusted him, wholeheartedly. At least that's what you told yourself every day since she came to the Little Palace; the place you had always called home, where you felt safe from the prying eyes of the public.

Yet now, the place was fueled by harsh rumors of him and her. Everywhere you went you could hear a whisper, nobody tried to hide it anymore, the words were always entirely devoted to your crumbling union;

'I thought they were happy'

We were.

'How can he and Alina not be together, it's destiny.'

I'm starting to think so too.

You didn't acknowledge it. Just put on a sweet smile and a brave face. Don't let them see you're hurting. Even in your own home, you had to pretend and lie, which at the end of the day, when you laid in an empty bed, made you exhausted.

He told you she meant nothing more to him than a mere weapon. But that was when she first came and when he still managed to make it to your shared chambers and would whisper sweet nothings as you fell asleep.

It was different now, on more than one occasion you caught a glimpse of them together, him looking at her the way he always looked at you. However much he claimed to be a good actor and manipulator, there was something there and he couldn't deny it either.

You hadn't confronted him about it yet fearing that if you did, the truth would hurt and sting and make all those rumors true. In addition, you haven't seen him in days and the last time you did, he told you to stay away from the wonderful Sun-Summoner.

The truth was you knew deep down in your heart that she wasn't at fault. That she was not the root of the problem. You constantly fought with yourself to stop any hatred you felt towards her. She was lovely, kind compassionate, and innocent. She didn't deserve to feel your wrath.

But with that came the confusion of who to blame. You or Him. It made you tired and weak. The smallest of tasks made you drained and tears would well in your eyes at the thought of having to live another day like this, a day full of questioning yourself and the man you loved more than anything in the world.

No matter how much of a strong person you swore you were, this was taking a substantial toll on you. He had become your support network and he knew it, he loved it. He always said he finally felt appreciated when you came around, that he wasn't alone anymore. He had conditioned you to be this way. When times got tough, he was always your shoulder to cry on.

No doubt that shoulder was now next to Alina. Perhaps they went on a horse ride, visited the Black Heretic fountain, or were enjoying a rendezvous next to the lake.

You didn't want to know, all that mattered was that he wasn't there with you when you were falling apart. Maybe you relied on him too much.

You wondered if he noticed the whispers too, or the way you'd been missing crucial meetings, or even if he noticed you wearing your red kefta more often, ditching the black once you'd heard Genya speak of making a golden-black kefta for Alina, per the Darkling's request.

That was a punch in the gut. It hurt more than him avoiding conversation with you or even his deterrence of touching you. He had bestowed his colors to her when not even three months ago he didn't know she existed. It had taken you a long time to gain his trust and don his signature black yet all she had to do was waltz in and show up. And it hurt.

And now here you were, training the next generation of heartrenderers, as you did almost every day. You had given your life to the Little Palace and its Grisha and this is how you were being repaid. Not even Ivan, who you had shaped into an excellent soldier, had looked your way lately.

'Excuse me Ms. Y/L/N I have an urgent request from the General' You whipped your head around to the young Grisha boy with an obviously hurt look on your face which he couldn't understand.

'Of course' you choked out and took the piece of paper from his hands and watched him in sorrow as he left.

Ms.Y/L/N? what happened to moya sovereignny? You were never one to uphold the formality, but this was just another blow to your confidence. You were no longer referred to as his other half which only meant your position in the palace was quickly dwindling.

You opened the wax-sealed envelope and took out the thick sheet of paper. There was a time when he himself would deliver the news to you himself and use it as an excuse to spend extra time with you.

'I cannot make it to the meeting with the King this evening, attend and report back to me anything relevant, no horse business'

You scoffed loudly, drawing attention from the young Corporalki around you and leaned on the table in front of you. Not even a please or thank you. With the note clutched in your hand and tears of frustration in your eyes, you stormed out of the Corporalki room and towards his war room.

You peeked through the open door and seen him. He didn't look at all busy as he chatted with Zoya, Ivan, Fedyor, and some other Squaller you didn't recognize. Zoya threw her head back in laughter at something Fedyor said but Aleksander kept his stony expression. You threw the door open dramatically and everyone froze.

'Leave us' you cautioned as Aleksander's onyx eyes looked right into your own.

Nobody moved but Zoya was the first to speak ' Y/N, we're actually in a meeting if you couldn't tell' while everyone nodded along, except him.

You never had anything against anyone in that room, but in that moment you couldn't help yourself and used your small science to bring everyone to their knees in front of you, except him.

'Leave us' His voice rang out in the midst of their sharp breaths and chest-clutching. They scrambled to their feet and left one by one, Fedyor quietly muttering 'moya sovereignny' as he passed you which filled you with some courage. The door shut and the sound echoed over the walls.

You threw the note across the room and let it hit his arm. 'Did you forget your manners General? Or does it only apply to the people you claim to love?'

'Funny you should say that Y/N, you haven't attended any meetings in weeks without providing a reason. You're making me look like a fool'

'I'M MAKING YOU LOOK LIKE A FOOL?!' Your tears were now streaming down your face, falling quicker than you could wipe them away.

He stayed silent and that broke your heart even more, he could've said something, anything.

'Aleksander, I'm trying to keep myself together for everyone, I'm trying so very hard to appear normal and happy but I don't think I can do this any longer. The whispers and the rumors, watching you and her-' You slid down the door and sat on the floor, head resting on your knees. '-It's getting to me.... and it's killing me.'

You thanked the Saints you didn't see his face, for the silence spoke for itself. He didn't deny anything or reach out to comfort you. I've lost him.

'All I wanted was a happy ending.' You laughed a sad laugh that pulled at his heartstrings. With your eyes still facing away from him, you didn't see his hand go up to wipe the lone tear that fell down his face or the slight shake in his hands as he did so. He had no words that would comfort you. He knew what he'd done. He'd been avoiding you ever since he realized it. He didn't want to see you cry or see how his actions affected you.

Telling you that it means nothing to him was of no use. You had it in your mind now, forever engrained around his name, the rumors wouldn't stop and Alina was still around. He truly felt nothing of importance for her. All she meant for him was a key to a better future with you.

He approached you slowly, getting down on his knees next to you. He took your hand in his and held it up to his lips. He never prayed, but right now he silently muttered words to all the Saints. Don't let her leave.

'I'm so sorry Darling. Y/N I love you so much.'

'But you love her more' You yanked your hands away.

'NO. no. Y/N. I swear it. You are everything to me' He had grown serious now, he wanted you to look at him. He missed you.

'Then explain why you're parading her around like a Queen, letting her wear your colors, probably sleeping in her bed'

'I have never toucher her in that way. I'm yours Y/N.' Please look at me.

You lifted your head and looked at his beautiful face. He too looked tired, exhausted. His eyes were red and puffy. Saints, I've never seen him cry.

'You will have a happy ending. I promise Darling' He took your face into his hands and connected your foreheads together. 'I promise. I'm doing everything I can to make sure you will, and even if I can't, I swear you will you and our children-'

Children. Aleksander never spoke of them to the point where you had settled with the idea you'll never have them. Something about the desperation in his voice made you believe him, Aleksander was strong, he never gave up but he also never sacrificed himself for anybody. Up until now, you didn't think yourself worthy enough to be saved in exchange for him.

'-I would give up everything to see you and them safe, away from harm's way. Right now, the world doesn't deserve them, but once I do what I have to do, I'll give you children. However many you want, Just stay. Please'

You were borderline hysterical as you melted into his embrace. Weeks of frustration and hurt disappeared into thin air. Aleksander held you so tight you were having trouble breathing but you didn't care. He held you all day and all night. All meetings and tasks forgotten.

He explained everything in detail, from the stag and firebird to what happens if things don't go to plan. He kept nothing from you, not even the stress and pressure he felt. You comforted him as he always does to you. You fell asleep together and dreamed of a life with a happy ending, one where you never had to doubt his motives, you dreamed of your future.

Taglist (if you want to be added, plz tell me!)

@theonelittleone @searching-for-gallifrey @lostysworld

@0-artemis

#shadow and bone #grisha #imagine #the darkling #the darkling x reader #alexander #alexander morozova #alina starkov #fanfic #ben barnes #general kirigan x reader #black general

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bnhamixjuice-sfw · 3 years

Text

ANON REQUEST: Hawks, Dabi and Aizawa: spot an ex he had a bad break up with, he sees her walking around struggling to hold on to a bag of groceries while pushing a stroller with a toddler in it that looks awful lot like them, and the he awkwardly confronts them when the bag falls out of her hands.

Tags: Manga Spoiler, Mention of cheating, Angst to Fluff.

Hawks

“I’m so sorry Dove, I didn’t mean to–”

“Didn’t mean what? to deny that I’m your girlfriend in front of the media ‘cause you had a job agreement with the commission not to reveal me! okay Keigo you’re doing this for what reason exactly? Hero Reputation? More women you can use to cheat behind my back again and expect me to forgive you? I–I don’t want this kind of life anymore!”, you wailed in pure anguish roughly wriggling your wrist away from his firm clutch.

He felt suffocated when he needed to let you go for all the things that he did to hurt you, holding back the urge to chase you outside when you frantically closed the door, not looking back anymore on him. Leaving the top pro hero falling on his knees, lonely between these four walls of his house.

After all this time he can’t forget you, longing to see your face everywhere he goes even on pro hero awarding events or his usual patrol work with Endeavor looking for you through the crowds, praying to see your smile again that he misses the most.

His life was crumbling apart without you, but luck was on his side today when he spotted you not too far from where he was signing autographs for his fans while stealing some glances. As always, you’re still beautiful standing there.

Trying to fix your grocery bags while clasping the baby-carriage’s handle. He hesitated at first to approach you thinking you’re probably waiting for your husband to pick you up and your child. And that’s when a tuft of yellow hair popped out.

“Mommy look it’s Hawks, Awtoglaph pweasee awtoglapph”, his excited pleas reached Hawks’ ears. pointing his fingers towards your ex-boyfriend who waved a hand on both of you.

Soon red feathers clumped together on the ground, preventing your bag to fall.

“Wow what do we have here, a kid full of energy today, so where do you want me to sign your autograph?”, stooping down beaming a smile with his eyes crinkling behind his yellow visor making your child gasp in awe.

He knew instantly that his suspicion was right seemingly looking at his own reflection with those golden honey orbs and black lines on those eyelids and small bump protruding behind the kid’s shirt, red feathers similar to his, messily cramped inside.

“Ke–Hawks here… ”, almost calling out his first name when you handed him a notebook and a pen.

Slightly feeling his gloved hand against your palm.

“Hawks look I hab wings too–”

“Honey we need to go home now or else you’ll miss your favorite show again, now say bye bye to Mr. Hawks”, you interrupted, sneaking a warning glare on him not to tell him anything before gently freeing your child’s wings out from his shirt’s makeshift holes.

“Little fledgling I guess your wings were moulting, so did your Daddy tell you about it”

“Hab no Dawdy but Oh you see… Mommy Lov’ Dawdy so much that she booboo cries” you were shock-stricken softly hushing your child out of embarassment.

“Well kid make sure to tell your Mommy not to cry okay cause Daddy loves her so much, yes don’t forget to tell that to her every day I–”, he stammered with his voice started cracking, overwhelming him with emotions too easily, swallowing the lump forming on his throat.

“Your father loves you too kid trust me, and surely there’s not a single day he’s not thinking of your Mommy, his only Dove–Ah I think I’m taking too much of your time Miss I-I’m so sorry”, halting it immediately, muffling a few sniffles before finally signing his signature.

Your heart began thumping so loud, not expecting him shamelessly grabbing your hand, burying you into a warm embrace in public.

“Wait Keigo stop this, everyone’s taking so many pictures of you”

“No I don’t care anymore, listen Dove I’m so sorry and I still love you, come back to me please I promise I won’t hurt you again, I’ll do better this time just let me make up for it, and for our son”

You can’t blame yourself for giving in, accepting him wholeheartedly knowing this is what you promised to him once.

To never let your future child experience the same heartache he suffered from his past.

Dabi

He regret those cruel words that came out from his mouth the first time he was too fed up of your constant admonishment of putting a rest on his revenge against his family forever since you cannot bear to see him exhausting his body anymore, starting this heated discourse again between you.

“You always bring this up y/n every single day and it’s too annoying already, why are you siding on Enji too much Babydoll… come on just say it you really want us to have a perfect family, so cool to have a child with this debilitating quirk too right?”

Sucking your inner lips anxiously avoiding to tell him something about that last one, you felt his grip on your sholders constricting furiously waiting for you to answer him back, but your tears spilling from those precious eyes made his stomach churn in guilt realizing what he had done when you began screaming on his face that everything’s over, shoving him away and locking the door of your house shut.

He knew how much of a dick he was, the worst break up that’s been haunting him everyday with your terrified face forever etched on his mind

It’s been a long time since the last time he saw you after you moved from your old house and he cannot find you everywhere until today.

He saw you pushing a stroller on the side of the road and having a hard time balancing the bag of groceries on your other hand.

Perhaps you found someone better than him and additionally having a child; a normal child considering he’s not the father. that’s what he thought until something caught his attention.

Squinting his eyes, he was slack-jawed to find a familiar cerulean orbs and red hair on that young boy giddily calling you Mommy.

He took this rare chance of talking to you again by catching your bag of groceries that you clumsily dropped, your eyes met recognizing your ex-boyfriend instantly when he removed his mask. piercing eyes gazing down below observing your child’s similar features.

“Babydoll why didn’t you tell me about him, our son?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about Dabi and refrain from calling me that nickname anymore, also stay away from MY son before I call the police”

You breathed heavily snatching back your grocery bag from his grasp, clutching the stroller’s handle in pure anger.

“Daddy you meanie, go home”, tugging his pants with those tiny hands.

It hurts you to see your own child begging for his father to go home, when you can’t even tell him how you often show his own picture to your child that’s why he recognized his own father easily, keeping him close to his heart and memory forever.

You can’t hate your only child’s father.

He was expecting him to cry on his intimidating face when he bent his knees down to look at his child closely, ignoring your earlier threat by patting his son’s head seemingly accepting this foreign fatherly instinct.

“Kid look I’m obviously a bad guy, I don’t want you to get in trouble so maybe next time when your Mommy allows me, don’t worry I’ll probably see you again next time pepperoni haired kid”, chuckling when he saw his son’s childish pout, letting him pinch his stapled cheeks annoyed at his nickname.

“Y/n this is goodbye then”, flashing you that thin smile noticing his lips quivering a bit as he stood.

Shoving both of his hands inside his pockets before turning around to walk slowly away from both of you ignoring your child’s tantrum cries calling for him to go back.

“Ssh… sweetie don’t cry okay–Wait Touya!”

He stopped on his tracks when you yelled his real name again, like how you used to call him that before out of endearment.

“We’re going to stay here from now on so same address, the usual okay knock thrice and use our anniversary day on pressing the doorbell and don’t forget our password, listen I’m doing this for our child only so you better show up tonight or I won’t ever give you a chance”

He disappeared quickly after that, and tonight he never failed to show up incessantly ringing the doorbell many times even greeting you that typical password; a kiss.

A yearning kiss, hands intertwining the moment you opened your heart once again.

Aizawa

“Shouta you keep missing my calls these past few weeks when I needed you the most, you barely have enough time to visit me when I was sick the whole week and now you’re late, fine I don’t wanna hear your excuses anymore”

Those bitter words pierced him like thorns, seeing you slip out that engagement ring from your finger and placing it on a table whispering those bitter words he doesn’t want to hear from you.

“It’s better if we end this relationship now before we regret something, I–I can’t imagine my future being married with you or even having a child with you who pathetically seek for time and attention from his workaholic father, sorry Shouta”, you covered your mouth trying to bite back your tongue from spilling about your unborn child.

Running outside the restaurant leaving him heartbroken that he can’t further speak out his words anymore because everything that you just told him was painfully true.

He doesn’t deserve you, blaming himself for not appreciating you enough despite of your effort of enduring the hardships of having a pro hero fiance who often risk his life for his students. A man who can’t even spend a time to take care of you.

Nevertheless, he wanted to mend back those strings that binds you to his heart, always pouring out his loneliness on visiting that Cat Cafe on his day off every week reminding him of memories you two share.

You often take him there to spend a date knowing he’s fond of cats and snapping lots of photos of him every time he ends up sleeping on the corner with cats huddling close to his face nearly suffocating him.

Keeping your engagement ring to him all the time was the only thing that calms him down whenever he’s in dire situation on his job, thinking how much he wish to meet you here again.

Unbelievably seeing you again one time, rubbing his weary eyes once and twice to know if it’s truly you. Indeed, he can’t forget that familiar caring smile of his beloved, finding you outside the cat cafe currently having a problem of organizing your bag of groceries.

“Mawmmy, neko pweasee I wanna touch it!”, your daughter began whinning clapping his hands to get your attention.

He can’t believe his own eyes when your child resembles him too much with that obsidian dull eyes and sleek black hair minus for that pigtail hairstyle but that scowl seems a carbon copy of his own.

“Wait Baby I–”

“I think you need help Y/n”

You were flabbergasted to find your ex-fiance taking a hold of your bag of groceries with his whip that was about to hit the ground and voluntarily offering his Neko tote bag for you which you persuaded him not to.

“Mawmmy pwease I want that too, Neko”, her tiny hands reaching out determined to get it no matter what.

“Baby no–”

“Well your daughter love cats so much, you can give this to her, please just a friendly gift”, taking out something from his pocket leaning down a bit to his side to rummage on that keychain, letting you see his necklace around his neck with that old engagement ring of yours dangling.

“Found it, here kid I’m not sure if you’ll like this”

“Aww Mawmmy have that too um…right Mawmmy, so no thanks Mister”

There’s no way you were married that’s what Shouta suspected when he saw you not wearing any ring, and obviously that cat keychain was closely similar to his anniversary keychain that you two bought for each other.

“Y/n I can drive you two back to your house if its okay–”

“Mawmmy please say yes”

You sighed in defeat not having a choice in the first place and also giving freedom to your child to spend time with her father who doesn’t know about this.

His car was still the same, sitting beside him and your child now sleeping behind after getting so tired ogling on his car’s cat accesories.

You chuckled upon seeing your daughter’s face on the mirror messily drooling, leaning slightly on your side to wipe the corner of her mouth.

“Darling is she our daughter”

“Eyes on the road Shouta, and yes so what will you do about it. Do you expect me to ask for any financial support from you oh maybe spending your precious time for our daughter that I can’t even get from you years ago”, you sarcastically uttered, stabbing him rudely with those truthful words he was unprepared to hear from you.

“I understand if you’re still mad at me y/n, but I just want you to let you know that I want to set things right first before asking you to forgive me. Because I don’t want to miss this opportunity again to tell you how much I wanted to talk to you or maybe to see you in your white wedding dress”

You can’t resist how determined he was to get close to you again, feeling his hand slowly making its way on you.

Giving back that engagement ring to whom it truly belongs, and that was you, a dream he wanted to come true despite it being too impossible.

Turning your head away to wipe your own tears, proposing for the second time that you have been waiting to hear from him all along.

“She’s your daughter Shouta and don’t you dare make her cry of I’ll scratch your face harder than what your cat does”

“That’s too kind of you, I mean my cat misses your deadly belly rub too, you named him Mr. Pickles right, well I’m sure he’d be thrilled to see his Mom again and his new sibling soon”,

You both exchanged soft giggling catching up on one another by starting the conversation about your lives and so on and so forth, and apparently your child was eavesdropping on both of you.

Your daughter muffled a “Pro hero mission success” after accomplishing her goal, peeking a bit to see you wearing that shiny ring.

She knew it the first time she saw that stranger recognizing him from one of the picture you often place under your pillow, her daddy.

Well she did inherit Shouta’s intellectual skills after all.

Do not repost this fic/headcanon.

Disclaimer: I don't own My hero academia nor its characters and plot.

#hawks x y/n #hawks x reader #dabi x y/n #dabi x you #dabi x reader #shouta x y/n #shouta x reader #shouta x you #bnha fanfiction #bnha imagines #Reposted my old fic/hc here cause I forgot to remove keep reading before deactivating

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stanknotstark · 3 years

Text

Commanding Loki (just kind of happens)

Summary: You’re not really sure how it happens but you begin commanding Loki, the God of Mischief, around. To everyone’s shock, he happily obliges to your commands.

The first time you do it in front of the Avengers they all kind of stop in shock.

"Loki, get me a soda before you sit down." You told rather than asked the God.

You were too busy looking at a tablet Tony had lent you to see him stop in his tracks. He glared at the Avengers looking at him, ready to attack him as if he was thinking about attacking you for giving him an order. They weren't wrong but only because you did it in front of everyone. Probably.

He got you a soda and sits next to you, rolling his eyes at your nonchalant thanks.

The next time it happened was kind of a life or death situation.

"Loki, leave the room right now and calm yourself," You checked Thor's pulse through the gushing blood which made him slippery as an eel, "You either calm yourself and I’ll let you back in or you can sit out there like a petulant child. Go."

Natasha looked at you as if you were crazy, her hands pressing a t-shirt to Thor’s wound tightly. Loki heeded her no mind though and did as you told him.

He was welcomed back within 15 minutes.

Next, you do it more to push boundaries because Natasha had a conversation with you after Thor's fiasco. She's finds it quite funny that he obeys you like it's second nature but if anyone else dared do it he wouldn't hesitate to threaten their life. Trust me, Tony had wanted to test his boundaries and tried to do it too. Needless to say, Tony wouldn't be doing it again any time soon, he was still pissy some very expensive pieces of furniture got destroyed.

So one day while you and Loki are hanging out with Natasha, like you all consistently do because you three enjoy silence but companionship at the same time. You look across at Nat and grin, making sure Loki doesn't see it and commence your plan.

"Loki," Loki looks up from his book on midguardian foods newly introduced from 1996 to 2010, a questioning frown on his face, "Pass me the remote."

It's simple enough, nothing too strenuous. Yet.

"You have two perfectly functioning arms." Loki mutters but grabs the remote and gives it to you. You give him a genuine smile and you can see he has gone soft in the eyes before he looks at his book again.

You glance at Nat with raised brows, she looks away with a smirk as you turn on the TV. Flicking through channels you finally settle on reruns of Stranger Things. Natasha gets interested and you kind of watch but mostly you're thinking about commanding Loki to do something else but what? Loki keeps looking at his book but you see him glancing up often to watch the show too.

"Hey, Cowboy," Loki growls at the name, it had come up when Thor told you he used to call him a cow for his horns, "Don’t sit like that you'll get scoliosis....if a God can get that." Loki who had slouched forwards blinked at you and sat up straight in shock from the bad posture. When you see him glower at the TV you smile, he's probably cursing midguardians for ruining his good posture.

"Thanks." You whisper.

Loki hums carelessly and puts his book down to instead watch the show. Natasha coughs into her hand (a hidden laugh, you knew Nat too well), Loki eyes her suspiciously, looks at you, then focuses back on the TV. You force yourself, with great resolve might you add, to not laugh. You let things settle again before you try the ultimate command.

"Ugh." You start, rolling your right shoulder around and poking at it as if it hurts. You're literally about to tell Loki to massage it for you but you’re struck by paralyzing shock. Loki had noticed your 'discomfort' and moved closer to you. Lifting his hands towards your shoulder he stopped and looked at you with a tilted brow, asking consent.

Aww how sweet.

You nodded and shifted so he had better access to your back. One hand landed between your shoulders on your back and the other pinching the area where your shoulder met your arm and began massaging.

Shocked you let him staring at the TV but not knowing what is going on on the show. Loki and you had touched before so it's not so out in the left field that you're concerned but he was massaging you in front of Natasha. Your thoughts turned to mush as he pushes and pulls your body so he could access all of your back and starts massaging your entire back. You couldn't help the little whimpers and soft moans of delight. Not only was this man a God but he was literally gifted God like hands, unfair!

After letting out another whimper Loki stopped. You felt him shift back to his original spot and so you did too. Glancing at him you saw a hint of flushed cheeks as he stared at the TV distantly. Natasha was outright staring at him with both eyebrows raised to her hairline, it looked like.

Loki cleared his throat and left with an offhand excuse.

Once Loki left the area Natasha's eyes fell onto you. She smirked lecherously but said nothing about what had just happened. Turning her attention back to the show when you shrugged your shoulders, completely flustered.

She asks, "So like, I don’t doubt Will is going to be found but does Barbara make it?"

You smile and settle into the couch, "You'll find out in a few episodes."

Natasha groans and you laugh. You know she hates not knowing but if she's truly desperate she can look it up on Google or ask Jarvis.

The next time you command him it's another crisis.

In short, Thor and Loki are arguing, both clearly in a ferocious rage in the kitchen. All the team is there to experience it this time too.

"No, Thor, I cannot simply understand why you would defend those inept idiots you call friends. If you think they're in the right you’re more brainless than I thought!" Loki yells at Thor who now looks like a kicked puppy and your motherly instincts kick in.

"Hey!" Loki looks at you shocked, this is the highest he's ever heard your voice, and probably the angriest too because you just don’t get mad. You have the patience of a Buddha God, Tony likes to say.

"You apologize to him right now, then you will listen to what your brother has say, and if you interrupt him I will show you just how minuscule a God can be to a non believer."

The entire kitchen is silent. Tony looks like he wants to flee the area, he's been on your angry side once before. Steve is practically engraving the table with his eyes. Natasha shrugs and continues eating her meal, the utensils clipping the plate the only noise in the room.

Loki looks at Thor and raises a brow. Thor, still looking at you, swallows and begins to talk, focusing on his brother again.

"Im trying to learn but I don’t know how to stay neutral between your feelings and my friend's-"

Loki opens his mouth but slams it shut when you snap your fingers.

"-i do not want to offend anyone but every choice i make I offend you and I’m sorry brother, I truly am. What can I do to amend things between us?"

Loki glances at you to see if he may talk now. At your nod he says, "Start by supporting your brother sometimes. I don't ask that you stand behind every argument between your friends and I but you never fail to support them, it seems. You can't please everybody Thor, and you can't stay neutral forever, at some point you have to realize that you have to pick a side and who's side."

Thor has lost to kicked puppy look but he now frowns and nods, staring at the floor with guilt. Loki's hand comes up, hesitates, then he places it on Thor's arm for a second and swiftly leaves.

When no one moves for a few seconds you clear your throat and they all go back to whatever they were doing before the argument escalated out of proportion, you included.

You realize you may have tiptoed the line of being fair with that last command so you let it rest for awhile, give Loki some space. He of course notices your avoidance because Tony had asked you what was up between you both, stating that the God had asked him if anything was bothering you. Usually Loki came to you with his concerns, not being the type of person to talk behind someone’s back.

You sigh and tell Tony you’re fine, that you’ll talk to him. So you head out from Tony’s lab and search for Loki. He isn’t in the living room, kitchen, or even his own bedroom. You remember him once stating that he likes read on the roof sometimes, Tony had build Loki a garden up on the roof at one point since Loki clearly missed the garden from home, Asgard. A small gesture but a true turning point for both Tony and Loki’s relationship you think.

Walking out on the roof you don’t see Loki in the garden so you murmur a few expletives and make your way back to the door when a voice calls out your name. You follow the sound and find Loki hidden on a corner of the roof, sitting on the edge of the building.

Walking up behind him you ask, “Can we talk?”

“You’ve never asked before, don’t see why you’d start now.” Loki says, no contempt in his voice though, it’s just very...neutral.

You force out a small laugh, hearing your own tenseness in it, “Ya, about that..”

You sit next to Loki letting your legs dangle over the ledge like Loki does now. His legs kick every once in awhile giving him an almost childlike appearance.

“First off, I’m sorry.”

“For what?” Loki looks at you.

“I was out of line the other day with you and Thor. Not just then I’ve been, well, commanding you to do things for me and that’s...it’s not...right?” You finish lamely, your face a big grimace but you look Loki in the eyes when you apologize.

“That’s why you’ve been avoiding me?” Loki says with mirth lingering in his words.

“Well, ya, is there some other reason I should have?” You squint at him suspiciously.

“No.”

Loki looks at you with an innocent look on his face, which you know is pure bullshit, but you let it slide. Shaking your head with a smile you then look out across the open skyline below you.

“Apology accepted.” Loki says after some time has past. Your shoulders, which had tensed involuntarily, now relax.

You don’t react, well more like force yourself not to, when you feel Loki’s hand come to rest atop yours which had been supporting you on the ledge. Loki lets his hand rest there before he gets more confident and intertwines both of your fingers. You smile, finally looking at Loki who is already staring at you brazenly.

“Kiss me.”

“What?”

“Did I fucking stutter?”

Loki smirks then leans in, his left hand coming to cradle your head at your jaw and kisses you. At first softly, as if testing the waters, then begins to put more passion behind it as you lean into him. His tongue gently swipes across your bottom lip and you open your mouth to let him explore.

If you thought this man had God like hands....

When you’re both breathless you part but keep your faces close together. Your eyes roam over his face, noting how young he looks right now, how vulnerable, and bite your lip. Loki’s eyes drop to your lips and uses a thumb to pull your lip from your teeth lest you bruise them more. “Don’t bite them, it is my job to bruise them.” Loki says breathlessly.

Much later, when it’s dark out, you both come back into the tower and make your way to the living room. The first person you see is Natasha who, legit, smiles at the look of you two. Tony who notices Nat smiling looks where she’s looking and whistles at the two of you who decide to share a love seat.

“Shut up.” You command the two of them.

You were sure the both of you made a pretty funny picture. Your hair was most likely tousled, too much so to just be from the wind, and Loki’s lips were nearly purple with bruising so no doubt yours were any less. Not to mention the both of you were too incredibly happy, which ya you being happy is normal but it was almost an alarming amount of giddiness and Loki doesn’t normally show his emotions so openly like this.

Tony smirks, raises a brow and points the remote at the TV. “Stranger Things?”

You, very much flustered, clear your throat and say yes.

#loki x reader #loki odinson #loki #reader insert #one shot #avengers #tony stark #natasha romanov #my writing #dudes i literally had this thought pop in my head while out eating dinner with my family for mothers day #and i was constantly picking up and putting down my phone to write it all in my notes #like i always have the best ideas while out doing something or when people need my attention gdi #but enjoy #commanding loki (just kinda happens)

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elftwink · 3 years

Text

no thoughts only taakitz superhero/villain coffeeshop au. taako’s power is shapeshifting but he has a cool gun from lup. kravitz’s power is Big Fuckin Scythe With Unspecified Abilities. also there was no time to get into it but fantasy starbucks isn’t a real starbucks it’s a borderline illegal unaffiliated bootleg starbucks that taako and lup own. like dumb starbucks was.

By all rights, it should have been a fairly routine night for the Reaper. Go out, stop some crimes, arrive just in time to prevent whatever scheme the Mongoose had cooked up this week, exchange some one liners, make some threats that essentially amounted to ‘same time next week?’, the works. A regular Tuesday as a superhero in Neverwinter.

But Kravitz is tired, and more than a little distracted, so he’s not doing so hot on the one liners, and the Mongoose’s attacks are a little closer than they would normally be. He doesn’t even have a good excuse, it’s not like he’s injured, or that he has anything pressing to think of.

It was just— this morning his barista (who he may or may not have been harbouring a small crush on) had mentioned offhand that he thought the Reaper was ‘probably hot under the stupid all-black getup’, and Kravitz didn’t really know what the protocol was for someone complimenting your alter-ego was.

“I think if you were gonna go for the strong silent type, you had to start doing it months ago. Now it’s just acting like an asshole. Are you mad at me?” the Mongoose cuts into his thoughts, firing off another few missiles from his stupid umbrella gun (Umbrastaff, he called it, although it was a gun and not a staff so Kravitz had no idea why he insisted on calling it that).

“We are literally fighting as we speak,” says Kravitz, playing up the cockney accent, spinning his scythe to deflect the missiles off the blade, sending them ricocheting around the room. He’d said something like ‘how can you tell’ to Taako— the barista (well, they’d been on a first name basis for a few weeks, so, Taako), and he’d said ‘I can just tell’ which was not at all helpful in getting Kravitz through the conversation without saying or doing something to give himself away.

He’d almost given Taako his number, but how was he going to justify that? Hey, it’s me under the all black getup. Do you want to go out sometime? As if.

“You can have fights without being fuckin’ rude,” says the Mongoose, firing off another few rounds, which Kravitz deflects again, advancing on him.

“You’re right, sorry. I’m a bit scattered. Not exactly my A game.” As if to prove his point, the Mongoose easily dodges his next couple swings with the scythe, not even bothering to leave his range.

“Clearly. I mean, normally you’re at least close enough that I can feel the breeze from your sword.”

“It’s not a sword, and you know that.” Kravitz brings down the scythe in the space where the Mongoose was only seconds before, having already backflipped out of the way and landed a few metres back. Show off. Not that Kravitz had room to complain about that. The Mongoose spins to face him again, at least this time seemingly aware of what a close call that was. He’s tense, and his hair, which Kravitz supposes has thus far been hidden underneath his costume, has come somewhat unravelled, black braid falling to the middle of his back.

It seems... familiar?

He doesn’t have time for that right now. Kravitz draws back the scythe, feeling the hum of energy under his fingers, swinging again, and—

“Wait! Time out!” the Mongoose puts up a hand and Kravitz, for who knows what reason, stops his scythe mid-swing. The familiarity sticks, so it’s not just a trick of the light. It takes him a second to place, but the hairstyle... it looks a lot like a certain barista he’d been spending all night thinking about.

He shakes his head, trying to clear it. It’s because he has Taako on the brain, is all. Besides, he has other things to worry about besides seeing his crush in his enemy. Namely the fight currently happening with said enemy. “What? You can’t call a time out.”

“I just did,” says the Mongoose, fishing through his pockets and pulling out several bobby pins, sticking them in his mouth so he can use both hands to fix his hair. Kravitz blinks, still trying to shake off the sense of deja vu, but it won’t quit nagging him. “It’s a whole safety issue to leave long hair down.”

“It’s still in a braid,” retorts Kravitz.

“Somebody never took Foodsafe.” the Mongoose gives him a lopsided grin that Kravitz fucking knows he’s seen before, and suddenly it’s more than just passing familiarity, and how could he possibly have not noticed before, and— the Mongoose finishes putting up his hair, raising an eyebrow at Kravitz and his private crisis. “Alright. Ready—”

“You work at Fantasy Starbucks,” blurts Kravitz, without even thinking about it. The Mongoose stops dead in his tracks, and Kravitz can see his eyes widen even behind the mask. He splutters for a moment, and then seems to find his footing, already ready with a snarky remark.

“Yeah, well— your accent is fake.”

Shit. He’d forgotten. At the only time so far that having it would have been useful too. Still, he pushes it out of his mind; the Mongoose hadn’t denied it. And, well, he’s already solidly derailed this fight, so he might as well get some real confirmation out of it.

“...Taako? It is you, isn’t it?”

“Just who the fuck are y—” The Mongoose— Taako— levels the Umbrastaff at him, and then stops again. “...Kravitz?”

Well. Shit. Again. Kravitz doesn’t bother to affirm that; his silence is more than enough confirmation. One of them has to say or do something, but the seconds stretch on.

“You’re telling me I said all that shit to your face this morning?” says Taako.

“That’s what you’re worried about right now?”

“Uh, yeah—” Taako is backing up now, and they’ve fought enough times that Kravitz knows when the Mongoose is looking for an escape route; Kravitz’s feet still feel glued to the floor, even when Taako reaches the window, fingers already turning to talons around the Umbrastaff. Taako breaks the glass (because of course he does, even though the windows aren’t even fucking locked), breaking eye contact with Kravitz in order to swing his legs through the window before his form changes too much. “Look, this is like, a lot right now, and I— I’m getting the fuck out of here,” he says, and then drops. Whatever had been keeping Kravitz in place, slack jawed, ends as soon as Taako leaves his sight, and he’s moving before he has time to think about it.

“Wait—!” Kravitz runs for the window, but by the time he gets there, the bird clutching the Umbrastaff is nearly out of sight.

Well. That could have gone better.

***

Kravitz doesn’t go for his coffee the next day. Or the next day, either, although the day after that he’s sick of making his own coffee. And frankly, he misses chatting with Taako. Even if the guy was trying to kill him like once a week. He couldn’t just avoid this forever.

Still, the fact that Taako is working cash when he comes in makes him want to turn tail and run back home. He conjures up the memory of yesterday’s shitty coffee and pushes onward. The shop is mostly empty still, so there’s no line.

“The usual?” says Taako, like nothing abnormal has happened.

“Please,” says Kravitz, and then, before he can chicken out entirely, adds, “Uhm, do you have a few minutes?”

“My shift isn’t over until—”

“I’ll cover you,” comes Lup’s voice from the back room; she pokes her head out and gives Taako a look that is clearly significant, but that Kravitz can’t quite puzzle out. “Take five minutes after you’re done making his coffee.”

Taako scowls at her, and she smiles brightly before heading to the back again.

“Okay. I guess I have five minutes. Talk to you after I make your coffee.”

Kravitz nods, and goes to hover around the pickup counter, pretending to be interested in things on his phone. Taako makes his coffee in a ceramic mug, which at least means he doesn’t want Kravitz to get the fuck out as soon as possible, so that’s... something.

Taako slides the finished coffee across the counter, circling around to join Kravitz on the customer side as Kravitz grabs the mug.

“Lup!” he hollers, and then starts walking towards one of the corner booths without checking to see if his sister is headed to cash or if Kravitz is following. Kravitz does, though, sliding himself into the seat opposite Taako, hands wrapped tightly around the mug.

Taako speaks first. “To be honest, I kinda thought you would rat me out.”

“That would be shitty of me, to just sic authorities on your place of work without so much as a warning.”

“So is this the warning?”

“No,” says Kravitz, taking a sip of his coffee, “I... can’t really make coffee without burning it. And this is the only place for miles with tolerable muffins.”

Taako cracks a grin, like Kravitz knew he would. “Flattery will get you nowhere.” His smile falls, and he crosses his arms and leans back. “So. Reaper. Why didn’t you rat me out?”

Why indeed. Kravitz takes another sip of his coffee and thinks for a second, not even sure himself what his explanation will be once he starts talking.

“It didn’t seem... fair. You’re less of a villain and more of a pain in my ass—” Kravitz ignores Taako’s indignant noise and keeps talking, “—and while we always have cause to fight when on the clock, you’re not doing anything that I feel needs to leave the bounds of those... work hours, I guess.”

Taako is trying to pick him apart with his gaze; it’s something he’s been subjected to several times, although normally in costume, and in retrospect it’s difficult to imagine how he spent so long not noticing the Mongoose in Taako.

Whatever Taako is looking for, he must find it, because he relaxes a bit, and shoots him a lazy grin. “Plus, Mongoose related insurance just got rolling and it would be fuckin’ rude to take me out of commission before anyone got to use theirs.”

Kravitz laughs. “Sure.” He’s silent for a second, before adding, “You aren’t planning on revealing my secret identity, are you? Awfully rude of you to double cross me like that.”

“Wha— You didn’t even give me a chance to respond! Maybe I wasn’t!”

“Were you?”

“I was,” admits Taako, not even pretending to look sheepish. Kravitz raises his eyebrows, and Taako shrugs. “Oh, like you didn’t think about revealing my secret identity? And could you imagine the hype if I unmasked the Reaper? I was tempted.” He sighs. “But I figured then you’d have no reason to keep my identity a secret. No way am I risking a backfire like that.”

It sounds callous, but Kravitz has been talking to Taako almost daily for months; at this point, he can pretty reliably pick up on when Taako isn’t being entirely truthful about something.

“Hmm. Then I suppose it’d be in my best interest not to tell you that I wouldn’t reveal your identity even if you revealed mine?”

Taako narrows his eyes. “Why not?”

Kravitz makes a face. “It’s just in poor taste. I just think we all go through all the trouble to hide who we are and use these powers for good— or whatever it is you do— that it’s always going to be such a low blow to reveal who we are. There might be times where it’s necessary, but petty revenge is not one of them.”

Taako’s expression hasn’t changed; if anything, he’s narrowed his eyes more. “God, you are like— fuckin’ irritatingly nice. Fine. I wasn’t going to reveal your identity. That would be fuckin’ annoying to deal with. Plus I’m having fun.”

“Fun?”

“Oh don’t— don’t fucking lie to me. I know you’re having fun out there too. With your stupid accent and one liners and shit.”

“Alright, alright,” says Kravitz, rolling his eyes. “But I’m not supposed to be having fun, so keep it quiet.”

“See, that’s why I market myself as a villain. No dumb rules.” He puts an elbow on the table and leans on his hand. “Why do you have a fake accent anyway?”

Heat rises to Kravitz’s face, and he’s hoping he looks less embarrassed than he feels. “It’s my— I do it so people don’t recognize my voice.”

Taako laughs. “Well, it doesn’t really do that if you immediately stop using it when you realize you might know someone.”

“I was caught off guard!” defends Kravitz. “It’s not every day you find out your nemesis is your barista.”

“Nemesis, huh?” Taako grins. “Didn’t realize it was that serious to you. You know I have other heroes to fight.”

Kravitz rolls his eyes again. “I don’t see how you have the time, considering how often you’re causing trouble for me.”

Taako laughs, and it’s so contagious and the whole conversation is so surreal Kravitz can’t help but laugh too, before they both lapse into a comfortable, if drawn out, silence.

“So, uh,” says Taako eventually, “what now?”

“Well,” says Kravitz, “I want to keep coming in for coffee in the mornings. And I assume the Mongoose will continue with... whatever chaos it is you currently have planned.”

“It’s not chaos,” insists Taako, “I have plans. But yeah. And I assume the Reaper is gonna show up and throw a wrench in those plans?”

“Yes, probably. So we’ll just be enemies by night...” Kravitz trails off, not entirely sure how to refer to their by day relationship. Friends? Potential love interests? Acquaintances? There’s a few seconds of awkward silence before Kravitz gives up entirely.

Taako pulls and pen and a napkin out of his pocket, jotting something down and pushing it towards Kravitz.

“Here’s, uh, here’s my number. If you give me a heads up five minutes before you get here, we can have your coffee ready by the time you walk in. If you’re nice to me out there.”

“I don’t take bribes,” says Kravitz, grabbing the napkin and pulling out his phone to type in the number.

“That wasn’t a bribe, it was a threat. You don’t even wanna know what I’ll do to your coffee if you fuck me up.”

Kravitz doesn’t bother to point out that neither of them have ever caused any extreme bodily harm to one another and instead says, “So you’re asking me to go easy on you? I thought you were having fun.” He sends Taako a ‘hey it’s kravitz’ text before he has time to second guess himself.

“Could you stop poking holes in my threats? You’re harshing my fuckin’ vibe, Krav.” He sounds irritated, but Kravitz can see the smile tugging at his lips as he texts Kravitz a couple of skull emojis. “I should get back to work before my sister kicks my ass,” he says, standing back up. “I’ll see you tonight, nemesis.” Then he turns on his heels and heads back to the counter, saying something to Lup as he walks by. Kravitz watches him disappear into the back room.

Tonight.

Kravitz had better make sure he had hung his cloak up to dry.

#this is like. 2k words of unpolished nonsense that desperately needs an edit BUT i had a lot of fun with it #i dont know how the powers work or where they are or why they're fighting or who theyre affiliated with ok just roll w/#*roll w/me on this one. just go with it #taako's name was selected by virtue of being the only thing on his wiki page that sounded even remotely like a good supervillain name #taakitz #taz balance #mine

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oopsimbug · 3 years

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in which... y/n is just trying to put on eyeliner and harry is bored pt. two

a/n: when she’s back from a six month hiatus after making only ONE fic. wow, do i suck. for anyone who cares, school has been pretty rough. i’m actually procrastinating studying for an exam to finally upload this. it’s been pretty hard to balance both school and writing but oh well. anywho, here it finally is. it took so long to write because i wasn’t feeling very inspired by this. a lot of people asked for a part two and even though i kinda wanted to leave it on a sad note, i am a sucker for giving the people what they want, so sorry if this is a bit shit- i definitely don’t like this one myself. i guess i’m not one for fluffy endings. well, at least for this one i wasn’t. i really hope you enjoy it! more stuff to come, if school doesn’t mind fucking off for a little while (or maybe just forever?) xox -(a) bug

pairing: best friend! harry styles x reader

summary: Harry is worried about Y/n. Y/n is worried about Harry. Harry is solving it by thinking of ways to check on her, while Y/n uses cheesy pasta and the Fresh Prince of Bel Air as an excuse to not think. But what will happen when someone is at her door, and it’s not her delivery man?

warnings: angst, swearing, y/n and harry being idiotos, fluffy end, kissing

word count: 5.3k

It had been a week.

One gruelling, painfully long week.

Harry was biting his nails, staring up at the ceiling as he laid in his bed, worrying about her.

About how he fucked up.

He didn’t think that she would be upset for this long. He thought she would scream at him and then text him the following day, wanting to hang out- a silent “I forgive you”, he supposed.

But after two days of radio silence on her end, he decided to call her. The only problem was that her last words to him were “leave”. She wanted space. She needed to think things through- what things? Harry had no clue. But he had to respect her and her choice to not want him around. So with that, he put down the phone.

But a small part of him (okay fine, a big part of him), wanted her to just show up at his house so they could cuddle again, talking about the stupidest of things while they made cupcakes in his kitchen. They would be listening to groovy music and now and then, they’d stop mixing bowls and sifting flour to dance- well, they were horrible dancers, so more so just wave their hands, hips and shoulders around. It would be fun and would always end up with them laughing at one another. He would lick the batter and she would berate him, telling him that “one of these days, you are going to get salmonella and I’ll just laugh at your stupid ass” and he would retort with something witty and a bit flirty like “don’t worry darling, we both know you would be right at my side if I got sick. I know you can’t stand being apart from me” with a wink and a cheeky smirk. He just wants to see her in her oversized Space Jam hoodie and little basketball shorts. Or her short flower shirt and his sweatpants that she has to cuff at the bottoms because they’re too long. Or even-

He’s gotta stop thinking about her, or his brain will soon explode. But he just can’t stop. He tries to think of the happier moments, like her showing him a tour of her very healthy houseplants that she prides herself in, but every time he closes his eyes, all he can see is her teary face telling him to leave. So no, if he was given the choice to think of her flailing her arms around in his kitchen to dancehall tunes while making sweet treats or crying at something that he provoked, you bet your ass he’d choose the former.

But after the seventh day, he knew that something wasn’t right. This was too much “thinking time”. For all he knew, she could be fine, but she could also be positively bawling. She could be living for this free time, but she also could be waiting for him to make the first move. She could be wanting Harry out of her life for her benefit forever, but she also could be feeling lonely and counting the seconds for their makeup, just like he was.

That was it. He had to go see her and make sure his best friend was okay.

He practised what he was going to say to her in his car on the way to her apartment. “Y/n, I’m so sorry for how I acted. I didn’t stop to think about how you were feeling and didn’t take your emotions into account which was unbelievably wrong of me. I’m truly sorry. It’s just that I really care about you and you’re my best friend and I can’t see you choose a tinder fuck over me and if I saw him in the street I would knock his lights out and I just want to kiss you, can I kiss you, oh god please let me kiss you I just want to-“

Fuck, what was wrong with him? Why was he so upset? He had been on plenty of dates with other celebrities and models and she was always on the sidelines, cheering him on. So why was he getting so touchy-feely about a single tinder date? Maybe he was just in desperate need of attention. He hadn’t had a girlfriend for almost one year and casual fuck arounds also stopped about four months ago, so maybe he just needed to fuck someone quick. That would explain why he sees his best friend’s kindness and natural flirty nature as something more romantic. Every laugh at his jokes, every look in her eyes, every graze of her hand on his thighs as she leans over him to get her drink on the side table next to him, he becomes more switched on and awake. She leaves him feeling giddy and excited at every conversation. “This can’t just be because I’m horny right?” he cannot believe he would ever be that horny. What the hell was he going to do?

This is pathetic she thought.

I’m pathetic.

She let out a huge sigh before shoving another forkful of cheesy pasta into her mouth.

What am I doing?

The answer?

Eating carbs upon carbs upon carbs, lounging on her comfy sofa in the most comfortable, yet daggiest pair of pyjamas ever while watching reruns of The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air for the fiftieth time, actively avoiding all commitments, housework and jobs that involve moving further than to the kitchen, which even then was an embarrassingly burdening trek on its own.

But she let it slide. How could she not? She was upset and this was how she coped. That’s what she kept reminding herself as she boiled more and more pasta watching the days pass her by without realisation, but now, she’s beginning to question if this was the best idea. Pushing all thoughts of him out of her mind by not looking at her phone just in case he called or texted. But she was beginning to struggle.

It wasn’t his fault. He didn’t know what inner turmoil she was facing. He seemed genuinely hurt when she snapped at him. He truly didn’t understand why she took so much offence to the playground ribbing, it seemed. And she had to go be a dick and ignore him. He was probably worried sick. How many times would he have called to check up on her? 10? 15? The more she thought about it, the more she wanted this stupid feud to be over and just be in his arms again, even if it’s just as a friend. So she caved. Turned on her phone, expecting there to be at least a call or a text asking if she was still alive or not. And although she did receive a message of that likeness, it wasn’t from Harry, no. It was from her daily water tracking app, pleading her to fill in her daily intake of water so as to not die of dehydration after she was suspected to have not drunk any for the entire week when in reality, she was just too in her head to open her stupid phone and log her water.

Wow, she thought.

Now not only has Harry chosen to not speak to you, but you also look like a huge idiot right now. Of course, he wouldn’t want to talk to you! You got pissed at him for absolutely no reason and now he hates you. He’s gonna ask for his cardigan and track pants that he keeps at your house in case he wanted to sleepover. He’s going to take back all of his little knick-knacks that he leaves over, like the cute diffuser that he leaves because he knows you need it for your constant hay-fever that blocks your nose and then he’s going to declare that you aren’t friends anymore and then you will never get the chance to tell him how you feel and then-

Her panicky brooding is interrupted by a knock on the door.

“Who the hell could that be?”, she thinks. It was too late for it to be the postman with her package containing her entire Amazon wish list that she bought on the third day of mourning to make herself feel better. But it couldn’t be Mrs Xiao asking her if she had any holes in her shirts that needed stitching. The sweet old lady fell asleep at 8:37 pm sharp after her medicine that she’d take at 8:30 pm would kick in (which she learnt after spending nights over at her apartment where her niece, Mei, took care of her. Y/n would learn traditional recipes like baozi and watch movies with her two friends all the time). It couldn’t be Mei either, she was always in online uni lectures from 8:30-10:30 pm, locked away in her little study, so as to not bother or be bothered. So now, a little panicked, Y/n wondered who was truly at her door?

Another two knocks come, echoing off the walls of her little apartment as she turns down the volume of the program she was watching. She stares at the door from her couch, debating whether she should risk getting stabbed by a possible murderer or not, before ultimately deciding that life was too short. She was also getting sick and tired of the knocks that kept arriving in threes. She swings her legs off the couch and onto the floor, pushing them into her slippers so that her feet wouldn’t touch the cold floor, waddling her way to the door before shyly opening it, peeking at who it could be through the tiny crack in the opening, hoping whoever it was wouldn’t mind her current state: belly filled with pasta, hair knotty, giant shirt with sweatpants on and Harry’s patchwork cardigan hanging off her shoulders- which she had been wearing all day, cherishing the pretty piece of clothing and his scent imbedded in it, taking it all in just in case he asks for it back. She peeps at the torso of this mystery person, realising that Harry owns the jumper worn by them, before looking up and locking eyes with a worn out and tired eyed Harry, one hand in the pocket of the familiar hoodie and another extended out near the door, ready to knock again before freezing when it opens up all the way to show herself to her best friend. He doesn’t eye her up and down cheekily like he normally does when she is wearing pyjamas, wolf-whistling at her relaxed state, claiming that “You look runway-ready, my love! Do a twirl for the crowd, will you?”. Instead, he stares her right in the eyes with what looks like almost relief, before smiling a weak and broken smile.

One of them needed to break the silence or both would have just stared at each other in her doorway until the world exploded. So she starts.

“Hi.” her voice hovers a tinge above a whisper, almost as though if she dared to speak louder, this probable illusion of the one she loves would fade away. He lights up a little bit, probably relieved that she started the conversation.

“Hey,” his soft voice matched her volume and tone as if he too didn’t want this to be a dream. “May I come in?” The words sound awkward to her coming out of his mouth. Harry never had to ask for permission to be invited in- he usually just strolled in without so much as a holler to indicate he was present, finding amusement in scaring her instead while she was doing whatever she was doing, whether that be reading, watching a movie, cooking or napping. They were the best of friends and never had to inquire about entry to each other’s domains, along with other small things like if they had anything in their kitchens to eat or if they could sit somewhere, so hearing it was a little disheartening and provoked Y/n to think about how serious this situation was.

“Okay”, she replied after the pause of contemplation, opening the door fully so that the lanky boy could follow along behind her, like a little puppy. She didn’t like how awkward the situation was. She just wanted things to go back to what they were.

But then you wouldn’t be able to tell him you love him... her inner voice argued. And she agreed. She knew that yes, this will be awkward, but it’s an opportunity for him to listen to her and know that she isn’t joking.

“Would you like some tea?” She enquires. They’ll need to handle this like proper grown-ups (which in all honesty, isn’t their dynamic- it’s more like first-year uni students who are mature enough to have deep conversations but still laugh at dad jokes and anything remotely serious, like a painting with boobs), and from what she knows, or has seen in movies when the characters are being serious, is that you need tea or a drink of that sort and a sit down on the couch where you talk stuff out. So that’s exactly what she does.

“Yes please,” Harry’s soft voice replies as he toes off his boots that most definitely cost more than her apartment. Y/n nods and heads to the small kitchenette and flips the switch on the electric kettle before going into her cupboard that housed the mugs. Harry stood awkwardly near the sofas, and to save him the embarrassment of waiting while standing, Y/n invites him to sit with a small, “You can take a seat,” and a quick glance at him before returning her gaze to the mugs to make herself look busy. She didn’t want to look him in the eyes for more than three seconds in fear of bursting into tears and the worn out and tired sight of him. She shakes the thought out of her head and begins to prepare the mugs.

Y/n put two teabags in her mug while putting one in Harry’s. She was raised in a household of avid tea drinkers and she inherited her strong tea quirk from her father who would always keep two teabags with only a dash of milk, and the only difference between her tea and her fathers was that Y/n wasn’t strong enough to take her tea without sugar, unlike her father, who thought that drinking unbelievably concentrated leaf juice with milk was a fun and relaxing time. On the other hand, Harry liked to keep one tea bag in his mug while he drank it, but just like her father, he too took little to no sugar with his cup, being the health freak he was. And early in their friendship, when she mentioned it to him, Harry chuckled and chirped, “Your father is a smart man. He has to be for raising amazing and talented people like your siblings. I’m not sure what went wrong with you though...” while booping her nose as they laid together under a tree for a little picnic. And though she rolled her eyes at him and punched his shoulder for the sly dig at her, she was practically beaming at the fact that he thought her family was smart. Harry had no idea how much that meant to her. Y/n loved her entire family, and she was unbelievably close to them, so it made her entire week to know that Harry, someone she respected and loved so much, recognised how talented and smart each of her family members were. Don’t get her wrong, she didn’t need the validation to know that her family was amazing, but she felt so special knowing he took the time to notice. He did that a lot though. Doing things that meant a lot to her without batting an eye. Saying things that only a person as observant as he could notice, like complimenting her eye colour in the light and asking her to read for him because he constantly mentions how much he loves her voice.

Y/n looked over to the same sweet guy she fell head over heels for, who was sitting on her couch, fidgety as ever, and wondered if they would ever be the same after the very next moments to come. She didn’t want things to change between them, but she was dying inside knowing that he wasn’t hers. And getting over him was not in the question, after the fiasco that happened last week. She just wished she could get inside his head to sate her painful curiosity.

What is he thinking about?

What is she thinking about?

It’s the million-dollar question running through his mind. What was she pondering over as she made them tea? Did she want to talk to him? Was she mad that it took him so long to find the balls to face her? Was she as nervous as he was? Was she worried that they would never be the same again like he was?

He was going into panic mode, questioning everything, while probably looking stupid as ever. As much as he regretted how awkward things were now, and the fact that he instigated her to lash out at him a week ago, he was realising that he was not regretting the fact that he did it. He didn’t want her to go out with someone else, and she didn’t. And yes, of course, he feels bad-beyond bad, in fact- for making her cry, and wishes he could take it all back, he also sees this as an opportunity to tell her how he feels about her. He could finally tell her that he thinks about her all the time. About her soft smile, her bright eyes, her melodic laugh, her speaking voice that brings butterflies to his stomach. He could tell her about how he loses himself at work, the grocery store, fuck- even at events- thinking about what she was doing at her house. Was she under her blankets on her couch, watching some corny tv show? Was she baking her signature choc chip cookies that taste like the gods blessed every single biscuit on the tray before they were put in the oven? Was she knitting her cat, Chesnut, another rug to plonk herself down on, with her feet up on the ottoman as she listened to the 7 o’clock news on the radio? Was she writing a paper for another deadline? Something so sophisticated, like the exploration of white and male privilege and how it is ingrained in our society? Something that Harry tried to understand and research so that he could stay in the loop with his smart girl’s interests, but he always struggled with.

It was a huge insecurity of his. Not that his best friend was smarter than he was, no way. He treasured the fact that she could and would whip his ass at a debate on things like the state of the world, or human rights. She could school him on global politics, languages, maths, science, history and literally anything else, and he would be cheering her on. What he was insecure about was her realising that he was probably slowing her down in life. Y/n was well within her rights to kick him out of her life for being nothing but a freeloader and stopping her from reaching her full potential, what with him constantly stopping her from her own life to help him go through shit happening in his. Whenever he was sad, or confused, or upset, Y/n was the first person he would talk to and he feared that she would realise that he was probably taking advantage of her and stop talking to him. And that scared him. It scared him because he knew that she didn't need him at all, but he needed her to do anything in life. Every major and minor decision in his life has been approved by Y/n first, and not because she was a controlling friend who didn’t trust him with his own life, but because Harry needed her validation. Harry Styles, a world-famous superstar, had girls, guys and non-binaries at his feet, following his every beck and call. Harry Styles, who was on the cover of every magazine, known by every celebrity, dated only the most perfect of women, required validation from Y/n, a psychology major at a small university. Y/n, who liked to plan her day out on a to-do list, end up not doing anything on that to-do list and cry about it afterwards. Y/n, who breaks it down to “Murder She Wrote” by Chaka Demus & Pliers like it’s her last 4 minutes and 5 seconds alive on this Earth while making pancakes. Y/n, who cries more when she’s laughing while watching Tik Toks than she does during sad movies.

To celebrities, Y/n was nothing but a regular. But to Harry, she was all. She was the warmth of a sweater that you toss in the dryer for a few minutes to make it extra toasty. She was the pad of butter that you spread onto your pumpkin sourdough toast and it ends up being exactly the amount you wanted. She was the feeling when you are driving home from a long day of interviews and premiers, and you’re on the freeway and the windows down and you just… exist. She is the feeling you get when you watch Pride and Prejudice, and the relief of when you find the perfect word to end a lyric. She is when your shoes fit perfectly, and when you finish a book so utterly fulfilling that you lie there in a trance, looking up at your ceiling at 3 am, wondering how you could have been so lucky to be able to be blessed with an ending like the one you just read. Y/n was all those things and more.

And that’s why he had to tell her he loved her. No matter how scared he was.

***

The electric kettle is finished boiling the tea all too quickly as the bubbling comes to an end and the distinct click of the switch turning back off echoes around the silent apartment. Y/n had poured the scalding hot water into the two cups she had prepared stared into them.

It was time. She had tried to avoid this for as long as possible, but now it was the moment to face the music. She picked up the two mugs of tea and brought them to her lounge where Harry was sitting on her worn in green sofa, staring at her coffee table, eyebrows scrunched, pouted lips, deep in thought, before looking up at her with wide green eyes, and followed her to where she stood in front of him. She passed his mug to him before sitting on the comfy chair a few feet away from the sofa and from him, putting some distance in between them for her sake, so that she wouldn’t try to hug him and say sorry without saying what she needed to say first. Which she needed to start talking about now, so as not to sit in the awkward silence created by the two.

Say something!!

“So…’

Jesus fuck…. was that all you could think of? Wow. I am going to lose my best friend.

Y/n was choking.

“I am so sorry,” Harry’s voice intercepts, raspy from the lack of use, looking up from the coffee table he seemed so interested in. “I am so fucking sorry Y/n. I have no excuse as to why I was making fun of you that day. I pushed too far and I am a shit friend for not noticing that you were already on edge. It was so wrong of me and I am so sorry.” He stopped himself before he started to ramble, looking at her with eyes filled with an emotion she couldn’t decipher.

Y/n felt… unsatisfied. Why did she feel this way? He apologised, right? So why does she feel unfulfilled? Why does she want him to say more? He hit all of the points he had to for a standard apology, so why did she think he hadn’t done enough? Was it that little optimist in her brain hoping he would maybe reveal a slight attraction to her? Maybe tell her that he loves her, and has loved her forever and ever? Confess that she has bewitched him, body and soul so that she didn’t have to? God, was she an idiot. But a lovestruck idiot at that. She bites her tongue and replies.

“Harry, I forgive you. Although you were annoying as ever,” She rolls her eyes and smirks, while he lets out a breathy, half-assed chuckle, showing his acknowledgement at her attempt to ease the lowered yet still prevalent tension. She continues. “ I understand that you were just trying to have fun. I guess I was the one who irrationally lashed out . I am always okay with you poking fun at me, but I was just frustrated and tired and I took it out on you. I’m sorry for the improper communication and I’m sorry for pushing you away when we should’ve just talked…”

“I forgive you too. I think this was just miscommunication on both parts.” He stared into her eyes, almost as if he could sense the discontent in her, but chose to ignore it.

“I guess so.” She halfheartedly answered, not really knowing where to take the conversation next. They had both apologised, but evidently still had things to say. Well, Y/n had things to say, that’s for sure, but she was pretty sure that Harry wanted to say something too. He had that look on his face where he wanted to say something but was forcing himself not to.

What does he want to say? Why can’t he say it to my face? I mean, sure, I’m also hiding shit I wanna say, but I have an excuse. This could ruin our friendship. What does he have to say?

“Great,” Harry replies, trying to fill the awkward pauses and conversation that is being held. He still looked like he had something to say, but seemed like he was not budging.

Well, if he’s not saying anything, I’m not either. Why do I have to confess my feelings and put our friendship on the line if he isn’t even going to say what’s on his mind?

“So, are we good?”

“I don’t know. Are we? I mean, I forgive you and you forgive me, right?”

“Right… No yeah, we’re alright. We’re completely fine!” Y/n replies quickly. Why the fuck would you say that? You’re not fine.

There is a pregnant pause and Y/n has half a better mind to just get up, walk to the bathroom again with her head down and lock herself in there till he leaves again, because she cannot take this awkward conversation. Not with him. She shifts, ready to stand up to get some water, when Harry looks at her, confusion and slight panic setting into his face.

“Wait. I don’t think I’m fine…” She looks up at the boy sitting in front of her, reading the words from her mind like they were scribed on a piece of paper in the blackest of ink, permanent and bold. Her heart stuttered. What else did he want?

“Is everything okay, H?” she tentatively asks. He loses eye contact with her, gaze lowering towards the table in front of him

“I-” he pauses, trying to collect his thoughts while simultaneously trying to explain to her why he wasn’t okay. “I just- fuck” his head falls down, his face inches away from the hot tea in his hands, the humid steam billowing out of the mug and warming his elegant face as he takes a deep breath and tries once more to convey his thoughts. “I don’t want us to be friends again.”

Her heart stops. This could go one of two ways. He could either be confessing his hatred or his adoration for her, and either one would probably end with her imploding. She tries to take a neutral tone when she replies.

“What does that mean, H?”

He looks at her once more. “It’s not enough, Y/n... “

“What?” She is confused. Her friendship isn’t enough? How is she supposed to reply to that?

“I want more. I don’t want us to just be friends. I want to be more with you. I want to do more with you. I want to do things that friends… they shouldn’t do together…”

Is he trying to confess he likes her? Why, in all the ways you could speak, would he choose to speak like that?! She has had enough of him dawdling around his feelings. “Harry, stop being cryptic and fucking tell me what’s going on?!”

“I love you, Y/n! I fucking love you, Y/n. So much. And it is eating me from the inside out. I hate that we can’t be normal anymore, and I hate that you don’t love me the way I love you, but I cannot sit here and pretend everything is fine, because I love you.”

Y/n is stunned. Frozen in her spot. Can’t move, can’t speak, can’t breathe. Stuck in space, and stuck in time.

Holy fucking shit… he loves me…

While Y/n processes the life changing knowledge that her best friend loves her, her best friend conveniently sits next to her, wishing that he was dead for the letdown he was about to receive.

“Say something… please, for the love of God, say something!”

****

She looks up at Harry. Not Harry Styles, playboy, whore, singer, millionaire, but instead; Harry, her best friend of five years, reddened face out of embarrassment. She sees the mortality in his eyes. Feels his presence so heavily in the moment. She is in awe. True awe of him, and his ability to love her. And with that awe- and that stupid look on her face, she reaches up and cradles his face in her hands, brushing her thumbs softly over his plush pink lips. He stands just as still as her, barely breathing, as if it would shatter the fantasy to stardust and he would wake up in his bed, cold shivers running down his spine, as has happened previously whenever he thought of this moment, staring up at his ceiling at 3:40AM wondering why he thought of his best friend in such a way. She creeped closer to his face before stopping a breath away from him, and whispered.

“Is this okay?”

She looked into his eyes, and he looked into hers, both never feeling so alive before. He wishes to tell her that she needn’t ask for his permission, and that he wants to kiss her forever. Eternally locked in an embrace that holds their souls together. But all he can muster is a weak and broken whisper back.

“Please,”

She can hold it for no longer, and leans in the rest of the way, their lips moulding together, for the very first time, eyes fluttering close, as his hands reach to grab her by the hips to straddle him, deepening the kiss even further. And when they part for breath, panting for air with slightly moist lips, they touch foreheads, eyes still closed. Words needn’t be exchanged- everything that yearned to be said was useless, as it could never describe how they truly felt for each other. So hopelessly besotted with one another, that all they could do was breathe together before kissing once more, hoping that their actions could provide even an iota of an idea of how much they love one another.

Two best friends, turned lovers forevermore.

#by bug #harry styles angst #harry styles x reader #harry styles x y/n #harry styles imagine #harry styles #harry styles fluff #hope you have a wonderful day my little pots of sweet tea!

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