#i’m actually gonna be sick that’s my baby girl literally what has she done to deserve this | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

punkscowardschampions · 1 year

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Janbi, JC & Bibi

Janis: [not you having to rush home in your club/date night outfit to tell all these tweens and teens to fuck off home right now lmao, definitely attempting to not even look at Libi because we don’t want to talk to you rn but I’m sure you aren’t going to just let that happen]

Libi: [picture the absolutely shaming scene of her dancing with some random boy who she’s probably about to kiss and then the lights go on and the music stops and Janis is telling everyone to gtfo, I die, and her utter confusion of like what are you doing here in the way only drunk people genuinely can have no clue about what’s occurring lol]

Janis: [oh babes, it’s not the mood, it’s really not, we’ll be here with the ‘Partys over’ which we’re saying in general so everyone here gets the memo but directing this as much at you as we can without actually talking to you]

Libi: [it’s the immediate sulking for me as if she is 4 again, in the way that drunk peeps don’t even know they’re being such annoying big babies, just like no no stop, the party can’t be over yet vibes as if this isn’t her house and you aren’t this close to being arrested gal]

Janis: [literally telling people to ignore her ‘cos this is not your house and you have no say in this at all hun, slamming that front door when everyone is out because it won’t be hard to scare away some children]

Libi: [literally trying to show Janis all her footage + rambling on like listen it can’t end like this, girl I know you can’t read the room in your current state but please read the room, she don’t wanna see none of that rn]

Janis: [the temptation to smash whatever you’re recording on would be SO real we’re having to eyeball it aggressively to not rip it from your hands and do that, just turn away and pick something up even though you have NO intention of cleaning up this mess because fuck that ‘it’s out of my hands, you got shut down’ not like I would let you keep partying vibes obvs but just trying to get through to you in the most obvious and slow voice like it’s done, give it up delicious]

Libi: [obvs starting to cry because it feels like the greatest injustice in the world ever for her atm and like everything in her life is shit and she can’t have anything etc etc, we all know it’s also because she’s been holding that in since the Bobby convo, however long ago that was compared to this but]

Janis: [get out some of this pent-up fury by throwing things off the sofa and throwing a blanket and pillow at it like there you go because we cannot start or we will not stop and it’s a pointless and thankless conversation that we don’t wanna be having because we’ve just been made homeless, which we will have to tell Casey when he gets back if we can manage to hold off in texts because obviously, he knows you had to rush off but probably not the whole shebang yet]

Libi: [hug this pillow to get out some of your sad hun, and then inevitably Chubby instead when he comes to sit by you because he knows you are ‘Don’t hate me too’ just a lil plea at her because Bobby hates us and we can’t deal]

Janis: [‘nobody hates you, Libi’ but in that tired, sick of this way you talk to a child who has really wound you up but you’re not gonna get on the level and have your own tantrum, however tempting it is ‘you just made a massive fucking mistake’ more of a trying to calm self down vibe to saying this out loud because obviously, we know there was malice in this but we’re trying not to make that equate to you wanting us to be homeless because you couldn’t have predicted that outcome]

Libi: [‘Yeah they do, he does’ when it’s a sob on the he for obvious reasons but you’re too drunk to not be that blatant about this ‘you sound like him, except he called me all sorts, and you’re at least trying not to’]

Janis: [‘Bobby is being an asshole too’ true that but that is about as interested as we can be in this tonight, soz hun but its registering low on our list of concerns, go to the kitchen which I imagine as being in the same room as the lounge vibes and find a clean glass to get some water, just letting that tap run for longer than is needed because when you run out of tasks you have nothing to focus on but your own worry]

Libi: [if you knew you’d made them homeless you’d be more concerned about that but you don’t realise that’s gonna happen yet so we’ll let you off, just telling Chubby everything that Bobby said, repeating yourself I’m sure because what drunk person doesn’t]

Janis: [again the petty urge to drag Chubby away from her like LEAVE HIM ALONE, resist, resist lmao, you must try to be an adult here, put this water down beside her and grunt out the ‘get some sleep’ before shutting yourself in your bedroom because what else can you do]

Libi: [actually taking your life in your hands by coming in at some point and getting in bed with her the way you did when you were a child but we all know it’s going to happen even if it’s hours later because I guarantee she’ll have tried to lie down/been lying down for a bit but then felt sick and been sick because again, drunk vibes, and you automatically want to be comforted in that sort of scenario, however angry you know Janis is, giving it the ‘I’m sorry, please don’t be mad’ as if it’s that simple]

Janis: [doing the world’s biggest sigh because you really do not want to do this but not doing it is more of a hassle than just dealing with the discomfort of having to so just letting her and stroking her hair]

Libi: [thank god Janis isn’t squeamish because this is a tiny flat and you would’ve heard her throwing up for however long and that’s just honestly grim, especially when someone’s also crying at the same time, bringing back everyone’s fave drunk Grace mems here Libi, if you could stop that we’d all appreciate it ‘I just wanted to have a happy birthday’ absolutely breaking my heart with how sad and defeated she sounds]

Janis: [will have to warn Casey that that has yet to be cleaned up because we have to stay here and let you snuggle us ‘I know’ because we do and we also know you did not have one, however momentarily distracted you were]

Libi: [‘Would I have, if I’d been born on time?’ like please tell me things will be better a couple of months from now because I can’t cope with how shit they are rn]

Janis: [‘Better’ because there’s no sense in telling you the truth of I don’t know right now]

Libi: [‘It’s not fair’ because it isn’t that your bday is falling at the worst time]

Janis: [‘Nope’ with a shade more spice behind it than there would be if we were purely being comforting but you’re drunk you ain’t gonna know]

Libi: [‘But I made a friend, her life’s shit too’ like hey silver lining]

Janis: [a noise like there you go then ‘not [that boy she was dancing with] then’ like who even was that lol]

Libi: [a genuine look like ??! who because who even was he for real, gurl do you know, what was the craic but then gloss over it how drunk peeps can and do like ‘Boys ARE bad at flirting’ aka my bestie was so right and so real for that one even though Janis was not privy to that convo so that doesn’t track for anyone but you sis, and just tell her everything about America, all the tea including the Mr Lucas detention and everything y’all have been up to and all the goss she told you about Gaz because no filter rn]

Janis: [‘Sure, I remember her’ because we are familiar with the family sis ‘you shouldn’t have gone to that detention’ like I would have got you out of it, like we would’ve planned something fun for your birthday if you were communicating with us properly]

Libi: [‘He’d have kept me for more of them if I didn’t go, maybe on my own’ like that’s a hard no thank you sir, because he deffo would, he is that bitch]

Janis: [‘not without valid reason he wouldn’t’ like no no]

Libi: [‘skipping the first detention would be a valid reason, any excuse to assert his disrespected authority, easier to get in, it done and then myself out only once’]

Janis: [just shaking our head but not saying anything like oh okay hun, you know best]

Libi: [‘not your baby’ in the sassy way you’d say it to a lad trying to badly flirt with you except we’re very much saying we know we’re not your problem and you have bigger, literally including a baby on the way, love how it contradicts to how you’re being snuggled as if you are, who’s the hypocrite now, huh? Lol]

Janis: [‘like mum wouldn’t also call and get you out of it’ because yes, this entire fam is that bitch, true]

Libi: [‘I handled it’ because this entire fam is also that bitch, we know]

Janis: [another noise because we’ve seen how you’re handling things tonight and how well that’s gone for us all]

Libi: [‘uncalled for’ even though it isn’t but I get what you’re saying, in the sense of this detention you didn’t get molested which is a win, but that makes her think of the Bobby convo and what he said that she said that in response to, so going v quiet]

Janis: [just letting the silence sit for a moment because we don’t have to immediately jump on this and turn it into a dramatic moment, wouldn’t be helpful and we’re also not inclined to ‘he’s facing a lot of shit they haven’t faced since he was a baby’ like he’s going to be in a bad mood]

Libi: [‘If I thought he was facing up to anything I wouldn’t mind, he isn’t though, he’s burying his head in playing nurse, a job which isn’t even his to do’ Where’s the lie tbh? Nothing is being addressed yet and we all know it]

Janis: [‘he’s facing up to the fact I left and so did both his parents, he can’t avoid it’ because that is an unavoidable reality for them right now]

Libi: [the kind of sad sound you do before you cry some more, because that is sad and we hate that he’s doing this all alone when he doesn’t have to and how that’s become unavoidable too]

Janis: [shrugging, not to be a callous bitch but just like yeah, I know]

Libi: [just have your little cry for a sec here ‘you really fucked everything up’ pot kettle miss but]

Janis: [getting up with a sigh ‘yep’ again like mhmm, I’m aware, go clean up that vomit hun, tis preferable]

Libi: [I hope you at least made it to the bathroom vaguely Libi, it’s not very far away, I know damn well you’re gonna fall asleep here, the audacity when it is not your bed and that is not your dog to snuggle and Casey is gonna have to carry you to the sofa or leave you there and have nowhere to put himself when he gets home, rude]

Janis: [Ahh the hot mess of it all, we are not equipped to deal with teenagers when we’ve barely stopped being one ourselves]

Libi: [Literally, Casey is 21 years old, get out of his house, gal, he was so happy here how dare you]

Janis: [was having a lovely night, God knows what he thinks is going on]

Libi: [he’s defs not expecting to made homeless that quick, that’s for sure, what fun that’ll be, thanks Libi, thank god there is that flat above the pub to move into quickly or else he’d never forgive you hun, really coming for his life and you’ve still got to throw yourself at him yet]

Janis: [yikes]

Libi: [do you wanna skip to the AM on this or do some jc first?]

Janis: [it might make sense to do some JC because I see no world in which you’re just leaving this lol]

Libi: [my thoughts exactly, I’ll have him message her like after she’s had the phone call and rushed off but had enough time to go home]

Casey: What were the landlord after, ringing you at that time, must’ve had a break in or some bollocks

Janis: Not a break-in, be disappointed by the lack of good shit to nick if it was, like

Casey: dog’s still there then, is he

Janis: ‘course, though his guard dog abilities are still in question

Casey: go on then, tell us

Janis: Libi decided to throw herself a party, must have took a risk on me not being there in that plan but that’s where any planning ended

Casey: at ours, how the fuck did she even get herself in, she had a key off you I don’t know about

Janis: emergencies happen, though yeah, regret that decision now

Casey: you never said, I’d have what a shit idea it’d be

Janis: I said, I know

Casey: keeping your mouth shut about how massive of a go [the landlord’s name] had though, like I dunno by that if nowt else

Janis: I thought it was the sort of thing that should be said in person

Casey: right, that bad

Janis: mission accomplished for her, I suppose

Casey: she’ll wanna take herself on the mission it is to set off back home before I get there

Janis: She’s in no state to go anywhere

Casey: and I ain’t in one to give a fuck, get her out my sight, I’m serious

Janis: Let me sort this

Casey: like how you kicked it off by chucking her a key

Janis: because I didn’t want her walking the streets ‘cos they won’t have her over

Casey: she’s got somewhere to live, more than us both by the sounds of

Janis: I can’t undo the decision, I can talk to the landlord in the morning

Casey: fuck’s sake, how much notice have we been given before we need to piss off out of it

Janis: How longs a piece of string, they wouldn’t want us to complain about not being given the fair amount of time

Casey: alright, that’s something

Janis: She’ll be asleep when you get in, you don’t have to talk to her or see her, alright

Casey: have to be, won’t it

Janis: I’m not driving her anywhere, she did this to me, I’m handling it

Casey: go handle it then

Janis: [do that]

Casey: [this poor boy having to finish his shift absolutely fuming, please don’t do anything, we don’t need you getting sacked as well]

Janis: [thanks again, girl, we’re all having a great time]

Casey: [it’s only his 2nd night at this new job and oh the drama, come back home when you’re done and GLARE at the closed bedroom door because that’s obviously where Libi is, refusing to look anywhere else, especially at Janis or at the carnage everywhere in this gaff that was his home sweet home]

Janis: [when you wanna shout I’M SORRY but that is fixing absolutely nothing and we all know it, just been sat here stewing casually because like fuck are we cleaning up the mess when the damage has been done and is so much worse than some party shennanigans]

Casey: [when he would start cleaning because he’s that bitch and this is how he copes, we all remember, but also because he’s thinking the landlord will let them stay there like a month or something before they had to leave because that’s what a decent landlord would do]

Janis: [soz we would be convinced we could make that happen, we’re not purposefully lying about it to stop an argument, because it is bullshit but you know; speaking of we all remember, this is reminding us far too much of the terrible times back at the JJ residence and the potential we may have to beg Jimothy to at least let us stay is making us wanna puke so go to the bathroom because can’t deal with any of this rn]

Casey: [I’d like to take a moment to remind everyone they’ve both barely slept and how much worse that would be making everything feel, and now they can’t even go to bed, ffs Libi, just have your respective moments, him cleaning up and her trying not to throw up]

Janis: I’m sorry she’s a bitch, she’s related to me

Casey: I’ve been her age and as fed up of it

Janis: doesn’t change how fucked up this was

Casey: I fucked her perfect life up for her first, expect no less, like

Janis: right so I’m the idiot for expecting more

Casey: least she had the balls to do something, makes one of them

Janis: there’s nothing impressive about it, it’s entirely sad

Casey: never said I were impressed by it, said I get it

Casey: she’s a lass, not like she can square up to me no other way

Janis: It’s only a fraction about us but we’re the ones with a fucked up life from it

Casey: fraction of what we deserve for what we done, we both know it

Janis: bullshit

Casey: how is it

Janis: We’ve done sod all to them, it’s Jimmy’s fucking pain not theirs

Janis: if anyone gets to use it like a weapon

Casey: he never will do, they might as well, them who’ve gotta live with him

Janis: no

Casey: he’s related to me, and like me, he spreads his pain about so every dickhead can feel it

Janis: I don’t care, there’s no excuse for it

Janis: she can sleep it off and then she can go

Casey: won’t catch us fighting her corner, I’ve said she’d already be gone if it was up to us

Janis: I’m not putting myself in the wrong to detract from her guilty conscience

Casey: well done, I’m not bothered where I put myself ‘cause she’s fucked my chances of it being bed

Janis: wouldn’t blame you if you went back out

Casey: yeah you would

Janis: I wouldn’t be anywhere near her if I could avoid it so, no

Casey: I’d rather be near her than away from you

Janis: you’re still mad at us too

Casey: just that you’re chucking keys about without telling me

Janis: she wanted to see the dog, it seemed harmless

Casey: she could’ve walked in on all sorts since she’s had it, how harmless is that

Janis: I reckon she knows that

Casey: next time, warn us

Janis: there isn’t going to be a next time

Casey: probably be living in a doorway instead, how it’s going

Janis: we won’t

Casey: this place wasn’t easy to sort, no use pretending it were

Casey: I dunno what we’re gonna do when the landlord wants us out

Janis: I’ll think of it

Casey: it ain’t your fault, there’s no need for you to reckon on fixing it all yourself, I’m not blaming you, girl, I don’t

Janis: I gave her the key

Casey: you said it yourself, you thought better of her than this

Casey: I love you for that, you know I do

Janis: don’t

Casey: you heard

Janis: it’s my fault she could, I feel so fucking stupid

Casey: I love you so fucking much, none of it changes my mind, it makes it up

Casey: she wishes she were the person you reckoned on her as, us an’ all, we don’t deserve who you are or how much you care

Janis: come here?

Casey: [do, appear and sit next to her on this bathroom floor]

Janis: [give him a dramatic hug because fuck all this]

Casey: [giving it back as dramatically, only pulling back eventually enough so he can do the checking her over thing they always do, and look down at this toilet to see if she’s been sick or not because of course he cares and needs to know]

Janis: [we are not okay and we’re embarrassed at how blatant that is on our face honestly, rubbing our eyes furiously ‘cos nah, sod crying when you’re just so fuming, shake your head when he looks over at the loo ‘let her have it’]

Casey: [cupping her face so soft and giving her the most caring eye contact of all time before he rubs her eyes really really gently because soz Libi we could not give less of a fuck about you rn hun, this is our only priority]

Janis: [just repeating over and over how you’re going to fix this in a quiet voice because that is the only way we know how to deal, by promising to sort everything like it’ll be easy]

Casey: [shhing her but in a it’s okay I still love you even if you can’t fix this sort of way not a stfu one, because he isn’t jimothy he doesn’t need her to promise that never mind have to feel the pressure to follow through on it when it isn’t her fuck up]

Janis: [putting a finger up to his lip like no you shh ‘believe me’ because we need to hear that you still do ‘no more cunty landlords, no more shit neighbours or broken things’]

Casey: [a nod cos we all know he trusts her with his life ‘long as you believe us I’m with you no matter what, there’s no need to bribe me with none of that’ said like everything she just said was ruster levels of boujee for the bants or we’ll simply die from how many emotions we have]

Janis: [do a small lol like alright then ‘you didn’t deserve this’ and resting our head on your shoulder because you didn’t and it was mean]

Casey: [‘nor you’ doing a feelsy lean because he didn’t mean that he was just upset and feeling like he can’t have anything either, see Libi you bitch you’re not the only one, stroking her hair in what’s probably a very similar way to how she was stroking Libi’s earlier because full circle and everything is cinematic]

Janis: [‘sorry there’s no one lurking for you to kick out’ operative word being the kick there ‘trying to remember knocking sense into kids don’t work’ because ooh girl, we are fuming]

Casey: [literally, if she hadn’t been asleep when he got back he’d have hit her and I couldn’t have stopped him, hence he’s not saying anything rn cos it’s too real, he’s just trying to be with her and calm down slightly]

Janis: [squeezing your forearms with both our hands as hard as we can lowkey because we get it, giving him a by comparison soft as hell kiss too]

Casey: [giving her a v soft and loving headbutt because yeah, they both have a lot of pent up shit thanks to that little cow in the other room lol ‘she’s right out for the count, let’s just’ a pause, whilst you try and decide if you wanna go for a run or go and hit something but in a safe way at a 24 hour gym, cos you know she’ll follow your thinking even if you don’t finish that sentence]

Janis: [‘she ain’t gonna wake up and start over’ like yeah, she’s definitely done for the night, thank fuck lol ‘it’s not like she came here to be looked after’ with a shrug like we can do what we want, slightly immature but we’ll allow it, doing a forehead lean]

Casey: [get up and pull her up, kissing her, harder than the one she gave him but still not really dramatic, when he of course ends up also pulling her into and really close to him, because thank god she said yes, we stan healthy ways of coping being suggested and implemented]

Janis: [letting yourself have a moment to just be with him as if everything is normal and back to the way it was because fake it ‘til you make it and there isn’t any point sitting here all night seething, you’re better to try lads ‘let me go get you some clothes’ after kissing you again, ‘cos you can’t do anything sporty in your work attire]

Casey: [a look like get yourself some which is also a shameless excuse to check out the gloriousness of her date and clerb fit once more because in all the drama it’s easy to forget how hot she looks and I’m sure some of the teen boys at that party never will lol]

Janis: [thought something was really about to pop off, unlucky lads, just giving you heart eyes and a smile like ‘was the plan’ ‘cos lord knows you’d look VERY odd trying to go for a run or to the gym in whatever you’re wearing too lol]

Casey: [him giving her a smack on the arse like off you go how men weirdly do in sports lol, I know they probably wanna hit things but realistically I think we’re gonna have to say y’all go for a run and take Chubby cos when she opens that bedroom door to get clothes that lil boy is gonna wake up and come bimbling out and see that Casey is home and be BUZZING]

Janis: [ah the homoerotic nature of sports, love to see it, like this dog with this boy, coming out with your fits in a bag or whatever and rolling your eyes like that settles that then, throwing his clothes at him like better get changed now then]

Casey: [the way he’d be loving upon this dog, because even though they are only tweens and teens it’s yet again like so soz I’ve put you in a chaotic situation when all I wanna do is give you a happy and settled home, is BREAKING MY HEART ACTUALLY, so yeah put your clothes on by literally doing a strip in front of her rn because I won’t separate a boy and his dog at this trying time]

Janis: [good thing he’s a social happy-go-lucky man ‘cos that would’ve freaked out some animals, even if no one was a dick because it’s so loud and overstimulating, this girl here equal parts 🥺 and 😍 watching you]

Casey: [mhmm, all my dogs would’ve hated it, and fuck you fr if you’d done that and he wasn’t this social king, Libi, we’d have even more serious beef, get this dog ready to go boy and don’t look at her because if you do we all know what’ll happen and it won’t be y’all going for a run]

Janis: [put your own clothes on and stop staring, miss ma’am, because whilst that would also help y’all destress, it would not be quiet enough I am so sure]

Casey: [we’ll let you do it post-run if we can, y’all have hooked up in the park before so you’re not gonna be opposed wherever you are, besides I love that you’re gonna work out together again cos you clearly used to but it’s been a minute]

Janis: [a solid vibe boo bear, we love to see it even though we wish it was under better circumstances]

Casey: [I’m so proud of both of them for not losing it at Libi though, seriously well done, lads, that’s growth, and you’ll end up having a good time, despite it not being the turn you thought your night would take]

Janis: [at least you can leave the house now the situation has been put to bed with that gal because there’s nothing more for you 2 to do tonight so go run it out and you can probably do some screaming if you feel like ‘cos it’s late enough]

Casey: [yeah, there’ll be nobody about much I’m sure, live your best lives, whatever you need to do, and when you come back he’ll chuck Libi like a sack of potatoes onto the sofa and y’all and Chubby can snuggle and pretend like it’s just any other night]

Janis: [winnie said like boycat the fat flump, at least drink does put you in that deep sleep ‘cos we don’t need you trying to crawl in again that would be very awkward for everyone involved lol]

Casey: [god imagine, no no, you’re staying asleep gal and not waking up until they decide to wake you to kick you out when Janis has gotta go to work and everything, thanks very much]

Janis: [you best be ready to grovel lmao]

Casey: [do you wanna skip to that now or is there anything else we need to do first?]

Janis: [I reckon we good]

Libi: I don’t know what to say

Janis: I bet you don’t

Libi: It’s new territory for loads of reasons

Janis: There’s a basic you might want to start with, that shouldn’t be that hard

Libi: I am sorry, you have to know that already, right?

Libi: I’m so sorry

Janis: I don’t know anything anymore

Janis: how can you genuinely say you had no idea that could happen

Libi: It was just a party, some people from school, nothing as crazy as anything mum would do

Janis: She lived in the middle of nowhere, as you’re well aware

Libi: Yeah, okay, it got a bit more out of control than it should’ve

Libi: when I did

Janis: I trusted you with a key because I was worried about you

Libi: I know you trusted me, but don’t say you’ve been worried, that isn’t true

Janis: Yes, it is, don’t you dare try to turn this around when you’re the one who has made us homeless

Libi: We haven’t spoken for ages, it’s not spin, it’s how things are

Janis: Because you are not speaking, you don’t want to

Janis: you can’t choose to do that and act as if it’s a valid excuse for you to do that, nothing would be

Libi: There’s no valid excuse for you to forget all about me while you go and play happy families with Case either, I lost mine cos of you and then you leave me as well

Janis: Make it clearer how unsorry you are

Libi: You too

Janis: I’ve told you, I’m not sorry and I’m not going to apologize for splitting from my husband

Libi: What about since? Where are you? You give me a key and expect that to make everything okay, but I’m not welcome anywhere

Janis: You used that key to throw a fucking party when I wasn’t there, you want to talk about being welcome, that isn’t how you behave when you want an invite, Libi

Libi: You’re never there anymore, and I’m so fucking lonely always now, I wanted to not be

Janis: and I wasn’t lonely, Case wasn’t, none of you gave a fuck about us then

Libi: You kept it from me, you should’ve told me

Janis: It was apparent to anyone who didn’t benefit from looking away

Libi: No, you shut me out and deliberately left me arm’s length away from what was actually happening, that’s what you do

Janis: It would be me doing it, not you lot

Libi: It is you misleading me and then getting upset cos you reckon I’m not looking in none of the proper places

Janis: If you don’t know what unhappy looks like then a lot of fucking people have failed you for you to be that bloody oblivious

Libi: I can recognise a rough patch, that doesn’t mean I’d call it as being the end of everything

Libi: you failed each other, nothing to do with my vision

Janis: And so what if we did? You get to act like a spoilt brat and treat me like shit for it? Nah, you thought wrong if that was the plan

Libi: I didn’t have a grand or evil plan, I only wanted to celebrate my birthday, to try and have some fun again

Janis: In my flat, that isn’t irrelevant, you did that for a reason

Libi: I had a key, you weren’t there and neither were a farmyard full of assorted animals

Janis: it was so fucking selfish

Libi: Well, you started it

Janis: not good enough

Libi: And you told me kids are allowed to be selfish and oblivious, that that’s all childhood is

Janis: and kids aren’t left to their own devices to throw stupid parties, think again about me trusting you like that ever again

Libi: I’ll think about it instead of the reasons I have not to trust you, be a nice change

Janis: If you started this expecting an ounce of sympathy

Janis: you’re sad, I have nowhere to live, it’s not the same fucking ballpark

Libi: I didn’t, in the competition of how miserable everybody is, I always come last

Janis: Poor you

Libi: Why do you think I tried to do something different? It backfired massively, alright, but I had to try

Janis: No one here has an issue with you having a party

Janis: you should’ve asked, you know you didn’t because you wanted to fuck us over, even if not to the level you have

Libi: I didn’t want you to be homeless, I don’t

Libi: but I’ll make it right, talk to granddad, the flat’s got nobody in, I’ll tell him he has to let you both stay

Janis: Is it?

Libi: I get why you wouldn’t want to be there and have nan in your business but it won’t be forever

Janis: I’m not in a position to be fussy

Libi: I’ll sort it, promise

Janis: I can talk to him myself now but thanks for letting me know

Libi: At least let me talk to nan, she’ll listen to me and keep out of your way

Janis: what do you reckon you’re going to say

Libi: You don’t need my script line by line, I haven’t done anything to make her fuming at me, I’m still her favourite

Janis: I mean do what you want, I’m not bothered by her or anyone else

Libi: Casey’s bothered, very bothered

Janis: you reckon

Libi: Yeah, I have lived with him myself

Janis: right, barely

Janis: it’s not like you paid him much attention or he was there that often

Libi: It don’t even matter, he’s a man and nan’s a hater of most of them, wouldn’t you rather avoid anything kicking off? That’s where I’ll come in and you’ll know I’m sorry

Janis: I’m an adult who don’t have to explain anything to anyone

Janis: and nan has successfully cockblocked 0 people in her life but

Janis: alright

Libi: You can be in her good books for all the teen pregnancies you will have prevented last night anyway

Janis: yeah, no one at that party was getting laid

Libi: Hopefully not, I don’t need that on my conscience

Janis: I weren’t pissed, I saw, no one there was far enough into puberty to worry about

Libi: Good, I banned anyone too old

Janis: alright, trying to show you’ve still got some sense

Libi: I’ve spent enough time avoiding Lucas lately without adding loads of other boys who aren’t really no more age appropriate than him and wouldn’t be as easy to murder if I had to, accidentally or otherwise, to the list

Libi: I’ve as much trust in them to behave, after being told how pretty I am and the rest, as you’ve got in me

Janis: it’s something and we’ll have to take it

Libi: I seriously didn’t mean for this, it was only supposed to be a distraction, which maybe hurt you a little bit, but not this much

Janis: I’ll believe you

Libi: I had too many drinks, you can believe I won’t do that again

Janis: less inclined but if it takes you a while to want to give it another go

Libi: I don’t want to, ever

Libi: I didn’t want to last night, but he said some things that hurt me a lot

Janis: I need to talk to Jimmy about him

Libi: I need to talk to someone about being homeschooled

Janis: he needs more support than the school has provided, it needs to be sorted for the pair of you

Libi: The school provides more support for sex offenders, I don’t think any of us are holding our breath

Janis: We haven’t exactly pushed the issue though, not before

Libi: I’m not buzzing about the idea of pushing it now, and why we finally are

Janis: If anything, you’ve got your exams this year, and leavers is more intense after, you both need to do your own work

Libi: He can write, he’s not illiterate, exams aren’t the issue

Libi: and it isn’t you who’d have to stand there and say you don’t wanna do this anymore

Janis: that isn’t the point at all

Janis: I’m fairly certain it borders on illegal anyway

Libi: The point is it’ll be the end of us

Libi: it’s the only time he talks to me at all

Janis: he might be more inclined to actually talk to you if he doesn’t have to

Janis: dependence isn’t close to anything you really want

Libi: I want things to stop changing in ways that are horrible

Janis: this would be a good change

Libi: You can’t promise me that

Janis: yeah, I can

Janis: it’s a pressure neither of you is benefitting from

Libi: Are you actually going to talk to Jim about Bobby?

Janis: among other things

Libi: I’m sorry for the parts which are my fault then, too

Janis: it’d be necessary anyway

Janis: but you should probably apologize to him, he’ll be the one who doesn’t want to talk to me at all

Libi: I don’t think he’ll feel like talking to me either

Janis: the reaction will be less visceral

Libi: 👍 can be pretty heartbreaking in the right, or wrong, context

Janis: yeah

Libi: You did it to me and I’ve done it back

Janis: I think we all have every way we can

Libi: Never again, along with drowning my sorrows

Janis: I’ll try

Libi: It’s alright, we’re not going to talk for a while, I get it

Janis: I do have a lot I need to sort out now, more than I did

Libi: Yeah

Janis: I’ll let you know, what Jimmy says about Bobby and all that

Libi: I’ll be able to work it out, from what happens or doesn’t happen

Janis: Alright then

Libi: I’m not doing a 👋 that’s almost as bad

Janis: We’ll talk soon

Libi: The birthday card should be in the post by now, no take backs

Janis: obviously the plan, as I’m so busy

Libi: So gutted you can’t take your euros out, more like

Janis: need every penny, like

Libi: I’ll give them back via granddad, he’s still trustworthy

Janis: as he ever was

Libi: 😶 or I’ll end up without my [whatever they’re getting you] too

Janis: might be an idea to behave now, yeah

Libi: You don’t need to tell me, you already have how badly I fucked everything up

Janis: I mean, yeah, you were too pissed to take it in before

Libi: Please don’t feel the need to tell me all about that either

Libi: god, how 😳

Janis: yeah well how pathetic you looked did stop me smacking you so, silver linings, girl

Libi: I’ll take it over details which would definitely cause an asthma attack on this bus, not that I’m using emotional blackmail again this soon, obviously

Janis: Another time, then

Libi: Never is cool, forget you ever saw me in such a state

Janis: you wish, you mess

Libi: I’m not wasting my candles on it under the circumstances, but yeah

Janis: lesson learnt works for me

Libi: Very unfair of the life I have to live now not to have a rewind, pause or stop

Janis: join the club, kid

Libi: No tah, the members all think I’m a dick

Janis: suppose it’s better to be surrounded by lads who tell you you’re pretty

Libi: A girl told me first, why we’re friends, no other reason

Janis: uhuh, yes man sounded close to what you described

Libi: Oh, go on and erase everything I said along with how pathetic you reckon I looked/acted

Janis: locked away for blackmail purposes if you fuck me over again, naturally

Libi: I won’t

Libi: There is a lad who keeps messaging me though 🤞 he hasn’t got anything he can blackmail me with

Janis: It looked PG when I walked in, doubt it

Libi: Saved by the fuming family member

Janis: You’re so welcome

Libi: From the look of his insta I’m sure I am

Janis: 😬

Libi: My hormones can piss right off, they’re not allowed to drive no more

Janis: it gets easier

Janis: maybe

Libi: Doubt it, going off every terrible role model I have around

Janis: Tah

Libi: I’m moving to London with that lot right now, fuck this

Janis: because they’re excellent role models?

Libi: No, but I can do a massive reinvention and let it stick

Janis: of a hormoneless teenage girl, good luck

Libi: And their exams are different, I could start school over as well

Janis: its a pipe dream, I would know

Libi: You’ve just reminded me, I told Bobs I hoped he had nightmares

Libi: so that’s great

Janis: Was it warranted?

Libi: He was being a dickhead, but you know what I was behaving like

Janis: lose lose then

Libi: The new normal for all of us

Janis: Speak for yourself, sad sack

Libi: I can’t speak for you, I wouldn’t have the first clue how to be as aggro

Janis: Well when you get your first place, I’ll be sure to come ‘round and get you kicked out

Janis: give you a fair go

Libi: Looking forward to it

Janis: uhuh 👌👌

Libi: Are you planning to wear the same outfit or? I will if you do

Janis: I didn’t get the memo about the theme from the landlord, oddly enough

Janis: and not sure I’ve got anything that is very toddler’s tea party so will have to

Libi: At least you picked up on it

Janis: I’ve got eyes and remember what you looked like

Libi: It was a last minute decision but still a better one than most Met Gala themes

Janis: don’t need to tell me how mental fashion is

Libi: A trip down memory lane isn’t improving anybody’s mood, I’ve realised that, yeah

Janis: not so much memory lane, just considering getting back into it

Libi: 👌 like you’re not 👵 as far as the modelling world is concerned

Janis: Um yeah but I don’t look like one ‘cos I didn’t do coke or have an eating disorder, tah

Libi: Good luck with it then, and congrats for the lack of drug abuse and mental illness, obviously

Janis: what

Libi: ?

Janis: why are you being funny about it, like you don’t know why I need more money

Libi: I’m not, it’s your life

Janis: yeah, right

Libi: And you think I don’t know Casey at all, so you probably won’t ever have a single row about it

Janis: we don’t row

Libi: Not yet

Janis: you’re so right, obviously going to break us

Libi: I didn’t say that, but tah for how reassuring you were

Janis: Another pipe dream isn’t gonna do you any favours

Libi: Right, I’ll just keep on living in fear for you

Janis: He’s never once hurt me, don’t be ridiculous

Libi: Yeah, it’s ridiculous he could, I’m sorry, how dare I

Janis: So could anyone but he hasn’t and he won’t

Libi: 🎂🤞🌠🙏🔮

Janis: Just stop

Libi: No

Janis: I trust him, I know him better than anyone

Libi: You love him, meaning you’re massively biased

Janis: Well that’s stupid, that’s what a relationship is, with anyone you love, you trust them and think the best

Janis: so what, go through life being close to no one so you can be objective? That worked really well, been there, done it

Libi: You’re happy enough to call me stupid and point out Bobby’s flaws, here I am returning the favour

Janis: no, because you don’t love him, you just point out his flaws, all of you

Janis: I’ve done a fucking shit ton for you and Bobby and Jimmy, I reserve every right to point out when you’re being dickheads, like I do with him

Libi: I don’t love him cos he scares me, that shouldn’t need pointing out

Janis: And when has he ever laid hands on you

Libi: Is that supposed to be my cut off? Everything else is okay as long as he doesn’t hit me? I don’t fucking think so

Janis: He doesn’t pander to you, that’s the real issue

Libi: No, it’s that he throws things, breaks others, and he does hurt people, even if they aren’t me or you, it’s that he’s volatile and you make excuses for him, you always have

Janis: I don’t give up and shun, it isn’t the same thing

Libi: Do you think I want to?

Libi: but it’s terrifying, okay? It is

Janis: I really don’t know how you would’ve coped

Libi: What does that mean?

Janis: Use your head or forget about it, this is ridiculous

Libi: Tell me

Janis: Nothing

Libi: It’s clearly something, you have something you want to say, so go on

Janis: If I had anything to say, I’d say it, when have I not

Janis: you’re trying to start another fight because you’re entirely in the wrong in this one

Libi: I care about you, it is putting me in the wrong right now, with you and Bobby, but I’m not going to stop

Janis: You didn’t care enough to not throw that party, don’t saint yourself, it’s really not going to bring him ‘round

Libi: I made a mistake, I’ve said sorry

Janis: It isn’t a mistake where sorry is fucking good enough, Libi

Janis: Jesus, just

Libi: I know but what else can I do? I’ve told you about the flat

Janis: We need to not speak, you’re right

Janis: because all you’ve done since saying the word is try to make this about my failings, Casey’s

Janis: the timing couldn’t be worse

Libi: You need to know why I did it, what you’ve both done and then walked away from off into the sunset together

Janis: We haven’t done anything to you

Libi: It’s you really thinking that’s true that’s the most fucked up

Janis: Who I’m with, has never been any of your fucking business, okay

Libi: I lived with you more than I did anywhere else, it was my family, my life

Janis: You shouldn’t have because they aren’t

Libi: But I did and they were

Janis: and that’s the only sorry you’ll get

Janis: he was my first boyfriend, you and fucking Bobby shouldn’t have featured anywhere in that

Libi: I can’t give you a sorry back, I was a kid

Janis: so was I

Libi: I’ve already said I wish I hadn’t taken your childhood from you

Janis: it’s the fact you don’t mean it because all you want me to do is go back to it

Janis: as if that’s even a possibility

Libi: I don’t want you to go back, I want to, it’s not the same thing

Janis: they don’t want you either, I’m sorry

Libi: I know, it’s been made painfully clear

Janis: and I mean it, I know it hurts

Libi: Like I said, I’ll never win the misery olympics we’re all competing in

Janis: I’m not interested, they can have their win

Janis: if you had any sense you’d drop it and drop out too because you can’t fucking beat them, it’s all they do

Libi: I tried and look what happened

Janis: try again without being so spiteful about it, that don’t work either, I’d know

Libi: It just hurts and I’m sick of everybody acting like I don’t have any reason to be upset

Janis: reason don’t equal solution or sympathy, that’s just life, I’m afraid

Libi: Happy birthday to me 🥳

Janis: yeah, yeah, your mum died on mine so I win that one too

Libi: Do you? You had more birthdays with her than I did

Janis: Obviously, my birthday was significantly worse than yours, be buzzing if all I had was a hangover and an eager dickhead in my DMs next day

Libi: How fuming you are will last loads longer than either of them

Janis: if anything about me is reliable

Libi: I don’t want it to be like this between us

Janis: neither do I

Libi: Why can’t I handle things better?

Janis: dead parents, shit role models?

Janis: better claim to it than most have

Libi: If I turn into the person he thinks I already am after last night, I might win the 🏆 but at what cost?

Janis: be as pathetic as the rest of us?

Janis: like I said, something I’m trying to avoid now personally but

Janis: old habits and all that

Libi: Yeah

Janis: He isn’t like that, he’s good for me

Libi: It’s fair to say my judgement of anybody’s character has got to be fucked, including my own, so

Janis: and he would support us modelling, if it made me happy, anything

Libi: Okay, that one was a bit of reach, but I

Janis: I know, that he has been scary

Libi: No you don’t, you basically called me a baby

Janis: you are a bit but

Janis: you’re just sheltered

Libi: …Love that SO much more

Janis: It’s hard for me to view breaking things the same way you do when I know exactly how much he wants to do worse and doesn’t

Janis: that isn’t scary to me but okay, it’s loud and overwhelming and there’s something to fix or buy new at the end

Libi: It isn’t something anybody should have to cope with, him included, that’s all I was trying to point out

Janis: but people do

Janis: like sadness, coping is better than pretending nothings happening until you break

Libi: Is this my rock bottom?

Janis: for now

Janis: you might get proper into your drink and then you’ve got a long ways to go, kid

Libi: You’re not funny, and you’re gonna make me 🤢

Janis: It isn’t anywhere I need to clean up now so

Janis: [send her her socials from last night like lollollol]

Libi: There’s no need, I’ve seen everything

Janis: A reminder of how much of a twat you were never hurts, like

Libi: It does 🤏 but

Janis: helpful reminder

Libi: Exactly

Janis: Alright, I’m gonna go talk to grandad at lunch

Libi: He’ll say yeah, you can be moved in by tonight

Janis: let’s hope so, no one wants to remind Jimmy my name is also on that tenancy agreement

Libi: Now isn’t the time to say trust me, he will though

Janis: I don’t want to rely on anyone

Libi: You still have to pay rent, it’s not like it’s total charity

Janis: it won’t be charity at all, I’ll pay full whack

Libi: There you go then, just another landlord

Janis: Except it isn’t just that

Janis: because now everyone will know I’m not at home and they’ll also know who I am with so

Libi: They have to know some time, you said it, you’re not going back, it’s not your home and you are with him

Janis: It isn’t just me you’ve essentially outed though

Janis: do you reckon Jimmy is ready for this, I don’t

Libi: Nan isn’t showing up at his door with a commiseration casserole or gonna be running her mouth to every punter, and the rest of the family won’t either

Janis: It’s above a fucking pub, Libi

Janis: don’t try to fool yourself, it’s going to be out there now, that’s it, done

Libi: I didn’t mean for this to happen, I’ve said that

Janis: yeah well, it still did

Janis: You best warn Bobby

Libi: Alright

Janis: I need to talk to Casey, update him

Libi: Yeah, go, don’t let me keep you

Libi: I know you don’t want to talk to me but I have to tell you something important

Bobby: Go on

Libi: They’ve been evicted and the flat above the pub is going spare, they’ll be moving in today, and there’s no need for me to spell out what that means

Bobby: And why have they been evicted

Libi: Don’t

Bobby: Don’t you try an’ lie to me

Bobby: you throw a rager last night, this morning they have to get out, I’m not a bloody idiot

Libi: I’m not trying to lie, it’s just obvious, like you said

Bobby: Are you happy now

Libi: No, of course I’m not

Bobby: I hope you lapped up every drop of attention because he’s about to get so much that he

Bobby: he can’t fucking cope with this right now, for fuck’s sake you

Bobby: They was away from him and no one knew about it, it was the only fucking silver lining and you’ve pissed on it

Libi: I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for this to happen but it is, and you both needed to be warned

Bobby: Sorry isn’t good enough!

Bobby: How is he meant to go anywhere, do anything

Libi: It isn’t but it’s all I’ve got, for my actual fuck up

Libi: this was my mistake, but I didn’t make it so he can’t show his face, or function, they did

Bobby: Tell your entire family to keep well away from him, he don’t need anything from any of you

Libi: They will anyway, it’s not their business, any of it

Bobby: Be about right

Libi: Nobody wants to upset Jim, okay? It’s the last thing on anyone’s mind

Bobby: Oh, yeah, totally okay

Bobby: you’re delusional

Libi: He’s the victim here, everybody’s well aware of that

Bobby: He doesn’t want to be your pissing victim

Bobby: just leave us alone

Libi: I said so

Bobby: Now, leave me alone now

Bobby: me and him are all each other has

Libi: Alright

#me giving everything names for the sake of titling

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ljsstories · 2 years

Text

Chapter Twenty Five: Miles Away From Home

"It's a fucking lie!" Jonah was pacing their mother's living room floor like a caged animal.

"You didn't see him Jonah..." Before Jensen could finish, he was interrupted by his angry brother.

"Oh, it's all an act! He wants money, that's what it is! You're such a soft touch Jensen, he went to you because you're a sucker for sob stories! Wake the fuck up!" No matter what Jensen said, Jonah was having none of it. As for Juliet, she sat in silence, baby Maddie in her arms fast asleep as her uncle shouted and screamed, it didn't seem to bother her in the slightest. "Well, you can tell him to go to hell for all I care!"

"Jonah..." Again, Jensen didn't get to finish as Jonah ranted on.

"After all these fucking years! Oh hi, I'm dying, please come to my funeral? Oh, and if you have some cash to spare, I wouldn't say no even though I've been a completely invisible father for three fucking decades! Seriously?" Jonah continued to pace, it made Jensen feel rather dizzy, he had a point though. It was time for Jensen to tell his siblings what their mother had confessed to him a year ago. Just as he was about to do just that, Steph walked in with a tray of drinks and some of her famous peanut butter cookies.

"Jonah sweetheart don't shout in front of the baby!" She scolded her youngest child, setting the tray down on the coffee table she stood up straight and addressed all three of them, "Now, your father is sick! I know you don't believe a word he says, but it's true! He's not a liar, he's a lot of things but he's not that! Also..." She stared at Jonah with a stern expression, "...he's not a gold digger either! He doesn't want Jensen's money, he's actually a very proud man!"

"Oh, come on mom! He left us, he left you! How can you still defend him after everything he's done?" Steph and Jensen exchanged looks, "What? What was that? Jules? Did you see that?" Jonah pointed fingers at his mother and brother as Juliet shrugged and rocked Maddie gently as she started to grumble, still not uttering a single word. "Are you gonna say something?" Finally, she opened her mouth to speak.

"I don't know what to say, I have a four-week-old baby to take care of, my nipples are on fire, I've had a total of three hours sleep in the past forty-eight hours...I have literally no energy to talk about anything!" After answering in one breath, Juliet exhaled and plastered a fake smile on her face. Maddie stirred and began to cry as Jensen took her out of his sister's arms and fussed over her.

"Hey baby girl, it's okay! It's okay! Uncle Jensy is here! Don't cry Maddie, you hungry? Hmm? Jules, do you have a bottle?" Juliet rifled through the huge bag that sat beside her on the couch and passed a bottle of breast milk to Jensen.

"What would I do without you!" She sighed and squeezed Jensen's hand gratefully as Maddie stopped crying the moment she heard Jensen's voice.

"Are we gonna talk about this or what?" Jonah shouted over everyone, obviously annoyed that they had forgotten what they had gathered for in the first place.

"Later bro, your niece is hungry!" Jensen called back to him as he left the room with Maddie in his arms just as Steph sat down on the couch next to her daughter and patted her knee. As he heated up the bottle, holding his baby niece, he thought about Jane. She would know what to say, she'd been through this, she would have the right words and the right advice...but he couldn't reach out to her. He couldn't make her go through this all over again, not so soon after she lost her own mother, it wasn't fair. But he needed her, he needed her so very much. Taking on board what Doctor Jenna had drummed into him, he put his own needs on the back burner and put Jane first. Sitting in the kitchen as Maddie sucked on the bottle eagerly, Jonah appeared in the doorway and nodded over at him.

"How the heck did you know she was hungry?"

"She has different cries for different things, that's how! She was hungry crying; you really need to pay more attention to your niece Jonah!" Jensen chuckled, gazing down at Maddie as if she was made of pure gold.

"Or maybe you need to get yourself a life old man!" Jonah countered; he was so angry all the time lately. Jensen put it down to his mad dash to Scotland, only to be rejected by the love of his life, Jonah's words not his. He did feel for him, everybody thought that Jonah and Eliza would be back together by now, but the former Miss Vapid was deeper than Jensen ever gave her credit for. She wanted to find herself first, then she would come back to Jonah who would be waiting for her with open arms and extremely blue balls! Yes, Jonah was indeed very celibate lately, he had been since his break-up with Eliza. Jensen was pleasantly surprised and proud of his brother, no longer the notorious fuck boy of old, Eliza really had been good for him in a lot of ways. "Can, can I hold her?" Jonah outstretched his arms apprehensively and nodded towards the baby as she stopped feeding and the bottle popped out of her mouth.

"Yeah, sure! Here!" Jensen handed her over to Jonah who looked terrified, she was just a little baby, what was so scary? Jonah wasn't as relaxed around her as Jensen was, who took to caring for their niece like a duck to water but Jonah was always keeping his distance. As he held her, with fear in his eyes, Maddie reached out, waving her tiny hands around.

"Oh, she hates me!" Jonah muttered.

"No she doesn't!" Jensen sighed, "Look!" Jensen waved his index finger in front of the baby as one of her hands grabbed onto it, "See? She's trying to connect with her Uncle Jonah!" He spoke in a high-pitched baby voice, "You do it!" Jonah copied his brother as Maddie now grabbed his finger, he let out a little giggle and began rocking his hips from side to side.

"Hey there, look she's smiling!" Jensen didn't want to tell him that it was probably wind, so he let him have that one. "Did you know that Jules wants Jane to be her godmother?" This was news to Jensen, why hadn't his sister told him this?

"Yeah!" He shrugged, "Of course I did!" No, he really didn't, so why had he lied straight to his brother's face?

"I bet she wants you as godfather, it certainly won't be me!" Jonah added softly, smiling down at their niece, no longer looking terrified but enamoured. "Who would want a train wreck like me?"

"Jonah you're not a train wreck! I'm proud of the man you've become, I really am! This album? It's the best we've ever made, and that's because of you!"

"Don't blow smoke up my ass, I know what you're doing!"

"Oh yeah? And what's that?"

"You're overcompensating for the fact that Eliza doesn't want me!" He was half right, but there was truth in what Jensen was saying, Jonah was a phenomenal songwriter, and he could sing too. Their collaboration had produced their best work yet, that was no lie!

"Eliza does so want you, if you know that she's the one then what's the rush? She'll come back to you; I know she will!" That was also not a lie, he had a feeling that Jonah and Eliza were meant to be together, even if it might not happen for a while, it was going to happen. Jonah looked like a natural now with Maddie falling asleep holding onto his finger for dear life. "And our niece totally loves you, look at that!" The brothers stood in the kitchen in silence for a few moments, just marvelling in the presence of their niece.

"So, what are we gonna do about dad?" Jonah whispered, finally breaking the silence.

"We...hear him out!" Jensen shrugged, "If what Jane and Eliza went through has taught us anything, it's to appreciate the time we have left with the people we love, with family!" Jonah let out a small pfft, but still mesmerised by Maddie.

"You do what you like, you did what you promised, you talked to me and Jules. But I'm out bro, I've had enough shit thrown at me, I don't need dad coming back and adding to it! If you wanna have a relationship with him, then go ahead!" So that was a resounding no from his brother, would he have better luck with Juliet? After all she was a parent now, could she find it in her heart to forgive their father and meet with him?

***

Eliza was frantically packing and unpacking her suitcase in anticipation of her trip to London for her special effects course, the same way Jane had years ago when she was getting ready for the ScotRok festival. When she had given Eliza her birthday present, happy didn't even begin to describe her reaction. Eliza was over the moon; she was so excited that she'd been walking around the house with a permanent smile on her face and calling Jane the best sister ever. Jonah sent a dozen roses and a brand new iPhone and iPad for her birthday, a grand gesture to prove his love for her. At least it wasn't a hideous Gucci handbag that had arrived in the post for Jane from Corey Tyler, Jonah knew the way to a girl's heart, and it wasn't designer tat! Yes, Corey was still at it, he left comments on all of Jane's Instagram photos, her YouTube videos and he insisted on calling her babe everywhere adding more fuel to the romance rumour dumpster fire. In the end she blocked him from everything, she just wanted some peace and quiet. She'd stopped doing functions for the rich and famous and enrolled in a counselling course with Louise, they were enjoying it and had plans to open their own little practice once they qualified. She still uploaded the odd video, just for fun, but she planned to put her vegan catering days behind her for the foreseeable future.

Both Jane and Eliza received copies of River Monster's latest album, their sixth, which they had called Miles Away from Home. Jonah had told Eliza that it was an homage to her and Jane. The cover surprised Jane, all five members standing solemnly on a mountain top, Jensen was in the middle with Jonah, and he had a beard! One that Landon Ellis would be envious of, and his hair was rather long, probably an after effect of playing Landon in a movie, he had his trademark Jesus look down to a tee. Jonah's hair was also longer than usual, at his shoulders, not like him at all. They still looked as handsome as ever though, despite the uncharacteristic changes to their appearance. The sisters had agreed to listen to it together, something that they had never done before, but Eliza was true to her word and wanted to spend more time with her big sister after years of estrangement. Sitting on Eliza's bedroom floor, they bonded over which songs they liked the most, some of the lyrics feeling familiar to them both, this album definitely was an homage to them, and they could tell where the Reed brothers' inspiration came from. Jonah was a good singer and when the brothers sang together it sounded beautiful! Their voices just blended so easily, this was the best album yet, Eliza was totally hyper after the first listen and insisted they play it again. A total of eight times the girls played the album, in a row! Jane thought she'd get tired of it, but to her surprise she didn't, there wasn't one song either of them wanted to skip, it was really that good! Eliza had texted Jonah to tell him their verdict, Jane had asked her to pass on a message to Jensen, "Can he tell Jensen...that I'm proud of him?" Eliza gave her a wry smile and nodded.

"You're proud of him, yeah, I can do that!" She winked as her phone rang, Jonah replying to her text. If truth be told, Jane wanted so badly to say more than that, but she was sure that Chloe Cornell was telling him how wonderful he was, he didn't need Jane's approval! Not anymore at least, maybe once, but that was a long time ago. "Of course I'm using it, I'm talking to you on it right now! Jonah!" Eliza was bickering with her not-boyfriend on the phone that her not-boyfriend had gifted her for her birthday. After a lot of nagging, Jane finally got Eliza to tell her what prompted Jonah to fly over to their house and beg her to take him back. They had fallen out when she'd tried to talk to him while he was in the middle of recording. He snapped at her and she told him to never contact her again, blocking his number and putting up a wall of silence. In a panic, he jumped on a plane and desperately tried to win her back, his grand gesture was to prove to Eliza that he really did love her, and that pressure made him lash out. It only made Eliza realise that their worlds were very different and that they weren't quite on the same page just yet, but someday they would be. "Och, Jonah shut up!" Eliza giggled, Jane wondered if she should leave the room, "Oh, um, Jane wants you to tell Jensen that she's proud of him! Of course she's proud of you too, stop being so needy!" Another giggle, was she sure she didn't want to get back together with him? Because they sounded like a couple! "Okay, well good luck! You don't need it; I swear to you it's your best album yet! No, I mean it, so does Jane, you be sure to tell Jensen that! Okay, bye!" She finished her phone call to Jonah will a smattering of kisses, yeah sure they were just friends! Looking up from her phone with a huge smile, Eliza saw her sister smirking at her, "What?" She demanded in a shrill tone.

"Oh nothing, just listening to you and your friend talking on the phone, that's all!" Jane emphasised the word friend with air quotes as Eliza threw a pillow at her.

"Shut it! Jonah says he appreciates our support and that he's thinking of you! He's going to pass your message onto Jensen too!" Eliza looked at Jane with a small twinkle in her eye, "I want you to do something for me..." She stared her down, it was unnerving, "...I want you to listen to Jensen's album, it's been out for ages now and you still haven't heard how amazing it is!"

"I heard a bit of it on the radio one time!" Jane responded defensively.

"Janey, it's beautiful! You have to listen to it, just once! It's so different from River Monster, it's...well I can't explain it, so you'll just have to hear for yourself!" Jane agreed, but only if she could do that alone, she was far too self-conscious to hear it with her sister watching her. Rifling through the drawer in her desk upstairs, she finally came across the copy that Jensen had personally sent to her, it was signed, she'd never noticed that before, it said; To Jane, With All My Love, Jensen xoxo. Her heart fluttered as she read it, all his love, just Jensen, not Jensen Reed, just his first name. She sat on her bed in front of her laptop and slid the CD into the drive. The first chords of Lost Cause echoed through her headphones and that unmistakable voice began to sing:

Found myself in a wasteland

Of destruction and despair

Thought I would never make it

Then suddenly you were there

A tiny little light in the darkness

An angel without wings

Could you be the one to save me

Can you fix my broken strings

A few hours later, Jane emerged from her room, finally able to face her sister after hearing Jensen's love letter to her which she listened to twice but wasn't going to tell Eliza that. It certainly was very different to River Monster's sound, but it fitted Jensen Reed perfectly as a solo artist. Hearing the emotion in his voice as he sang those words, those words that he wrote about her, about how he felt...about her! I'm too late, she thought to herself as she descended the stairs ever so slowly, he's found someone else and I'm too late! Eliza was sitting on the floor with her nose to the television as she and their dad shouted out answers to Ricky's favourite quiz show. It was dinner time, and they must have been hungry, waiting for Jane to cook them something. Eliza looked up when the second bottom step squeaked and Jane was standing on it, looking rather pale and dazed. "Well? You listen to it?" She cocked her head, knowing full well that she had just by the expression on Jane's face. Jane simply nodded.

"What's this?" Ricky looked from one daughter to the other for answers.

"Oh nothing, Jane just finally heard Jensen's declaration of love!" Eliza smiled sweetly, not taking her eyes off Jane for a second, "I told you it was beautiful!" She added smugly, yes she did, and she was right...the little shit! "Dad's going up to the chippy, you want your usual?" Ricky kicked off his slippers and began to put on his shoes at the mention of the chippy. Again, Jane simply nodded. "What's up with you?" Eliza frowned and made her way towards her; she hadn't moved from that second step. "Jane?"

"I'll need some cash, Janey have you got a spare tenner?" Ricky talked over Eliza, not noticing that his eldest was glued to the spot, but Eliza noticed. Jane shook her head and then nodded in their dad's direction, Eliza realised what she was trying to tell her and said, "Oh!" In a whisper, "Dad there's cash in the drawer in the hall!" Once Ricky had left the room, Eliza stared Jane down, "Okay he's gone, what is it?" Tears formed in Jane's blue eyes as she screwed them shut to stop them.

"Liza, I'm too late!"

"For what?"

"He doesn't want me anymore!" She sobbed, feeling her sister's arms around her she sank into her and let the tears come.

"That's bollocks Janey, I refuse to believe that!" But he didn't talk to her anymore, he had a girlfriend now, all contact had stopped. What was Jane supposed to think?

"I do love him!" Jane whispered in Eliza's ear, "I have no right to, but I do! Now he loves someone else! I've been such an idiot!" Eliza let go of her and looked into her eyes.

"Janey! A man who writes songs like that about a woman doesn't just stop feeling that way, what he wrote? What he sang? That's true love! It never goes away! Trust me, it never, ever leaves you! Jensen has been through a tough time, he nearly died! Take it from someone who is struggling with their place in the world, I know what he's going through, it takes time to accept yourself warts and all! I love Jonah, I will always come back to Jonah! Jensen will always come back to you!" Jane wished that she could believe that, but the very thought of him in the arms of another cut her deeply and made her feel so utterly jealous. "Jonah says he never mentions this Chloe creature! She's never around, she hasn't met their mum or Juliet! Like I said, it's utter crap!" No matter how many times Eliza or Juliet told her that Jensen wasn't dating this Chloe Cornell, Jane just couldn't allow herself to believe it. That photo of her kissing Jensen's cheek was never far from her mind, it devastated her, because she wanted it to be her! She would only believe it if Jensen told her himself, only then would her heart stop breaking!

***

River Monster had released their sixth album to rave reviews. Everyone was saying the same thing, it was their best yet! Juliet was busy organising their tour while trying to navigate the world of motherhood, but Jensen and Jonah were proving to be a great help to her. Jensen was covering all of their father's medical bills and he'd met up with him another three times since their reunion, still his siblings refused to talk to their dad. Meeting Lucy and Ava, his two younger half-sisters, was interesting. Having your own relatives sitting in awe of you was quite an uncomfortable experience for him. They were in their early twenties, two little blonde things like their mother Arlene, just staring at Jensen with huge eyes. "It's great to finally meet you!" Was all he could find to say as he sat awkwardly in his father's living room, still his sisters continued to stare, catching flies. "So, how's college? Dad was telling me how proud he is of you both!" The girls were a year apart in age, Lucy was about to graduate with a bachelor's degree in applied mathematics and Ava was a year away from graduating and then she was going to veterinary school. They were both brainiacs, very quiet and Jane-like, unassuming but there was more to them than met the eye. Jensen tapped his fingers on his knees and looked around the room as Arlene appeared.

"Marty is resting, but I'm sure the girls are more than happy to chat with you!" She was nice, for a stepmother, not wicked at all. She was more than willing to show hospitality to her husband's son, the only child from his previous marriage that wanted anything to do with him. "I really appreciate everything you're doing, it's so kind of you taking the time to visit Marty! It makes his day, but this one's not a particularly good one I'm afraid! Ava? Why don't you show your brother your axolotl? It's like that cartoon dragon thing, what's his name!" She put a finger to her lips, trying to think, "Oh yes, Toothless!" Ava shot up and grabbed his arm, pulling him from his chair.

"Oh, okay!" He mumbled as she dragged him through the short hallway and into a bedroom, covered in River Monster posters which was not creepy at all. Jensen thought it was a little weird that she had a shirtless poster of her half-brothers, but he let it slide for now. Ava finally spoke and it made Jensen leap out of his skin.

"This is Dingus!" She pointed to the tank on top of a chest of drawers containing the creature Arlene had called an axolotl, it did look a bit like Toothless.

"Wow, he's cute!" Ava smiled and exposed a mouthful of pearly white teeth. For girls in their twenties, they sure were very childlike. "So, do you like working with animals?"

"Yes!" A one-word answer, it would have to do. Jensen studied Dingus, bent down and staring into the tank as it stared back, smiling. "You smell really nice!" And now the awkwardness had escalated.

"Um, thanks?" It came out like a squeak, he, a grown man, was terrified of this young woman, his sister!

"Oh my God!" She groaned, rolling her eyes, "I must sound so creepy! It's just that..." She sighed and threw herself down on her bed, "...dad talked about you all the time when we were growing up. Your brother is a rock star, he's a movie star! Now you're actually here, well, I can't speak for Lucy, but I am freaked out!" She laughed nervously, leaning back on the bed and swinging her legs back and forth. Jensen let out a sigh of relief and sat next to her.

"I'm freaked out too!" He confessed, which only made Ava's eyes grow even wider.

"But you're a celebrity, I'm just a girl!"

"You're not just a girl! You're my little sister!" He corrected her, nudging her with his shoulder, "I am so nervous, I just want you to like me!"

"I do, your music is amazing! We went to one of your shows once! Dad took us, he said that's your brothers up there!" Jensen was a mix of honoured and embarrassed, he wasn't himself on stage, he was bad Jensen on stage, and he swore and said inappropriate things. He didn't want his sisters hearing that shit! "He was so proud! The only time he ever watched The Oscars was when you were up for an award, he wanted to see you win! The first time you won, I told everyone at school that you were my brother, but they didn't believe me. They just said we had the same last name; it didn't make us related!"

"Well, I wish I'd known, I'd have come to your school and proven them wrong!" Ava looked down at the ground and smiled sadly.

"Dad's dying, isn't he?" When Jensen didn't answer, he didn't know what to say, Ava nodded and took that as a yes, "It's sad that it takes dad dying for us to finally meet!" She wasn't wrong about that, so much time wasted. He'd have loved to get to know his sisters when they were growing up, now he had baby Maddie around he cherished every moment he spent with her. She was growing every day; time was a precious commodity.

"I'm sorry I wasn't around when you were growing up, it doesn't have anything to do with you or Lucy, that was between me and dad! I never resented you, I hope you know that!"

"I do, I understand, dad explained everything. How he left your mom, how he regretted leaving you and Juliet and Jonah. Even though you didn't see each other, he was always keeping up with what you were doing. He always said, it's not their fault, I left them, and they have every right to hate me for it! It's really generous of you to pay for the medical bills, not many famous people would do that!" Just then, Lucy appeared in the doorway.

"Dad's up, he wants to see Jensen!" She stared blankly at him, she didn't seem as friendly as Ava, but he smiled at her anyway.

"Thanks!" She didn't react, just turned heel and left. Maybe there wasn't any resentment on his side or Ava's, but Lucy sure seemed to hold a grudge. "I don't think she likes me very much!" He said to Ava, who shook her head.

"Nah, she's just a little...overwhelmed! She's trying to play it cool that her rock star brother is in her house!" She chuckled and grabbed his arm again, leading him out into the hallway to see their dad.

***

Enjoying the peace and quiet of a Corey Tyler free life, Jane had an entire evening of hitting the books ahead of her after a successful day at college. Louise had a crush on one of their classmates, this was the topic of conversation most days, trying to figure out a way of scoring a date with him. His name was Mike, and he was from Calgary in Alberta, Canada. He would sometimes get confused over certain words or phrases and his hand was constantly up in class. He was tall, had brown floppy hair and blue eyes. He always seemed to have a bewildered look on his face, but he would make jokes and always have the class laughing. Everyone needed a class clown and Mike was theirs, adorably so. Louise barely spoke to him and when he ever talked to her, she would answer him rather sharply and put her head down. "Why the fuck am I like this!" She vented in annoyance.

"No idea, he's actually really sweet and you just snap at him, his face, he doesn't know what's going on!" Louise groaned and covered her face. "You know, us Scots are supposed to be friendly Lou! You must be the exception to the rule!" Jane chuckled, sitting in McDonalds slurping on her milkshake, the two best friends often leaned on junk food when their brains had been fried from a day of hard thinking.

"I just freeze, he turns and says something, and I immediately go to mush! My defence mechanism is attack!"

"Yes, we know! Did you see him playing with that lightsaber keyring? He was making the noises and everything!"

"Stop it, I know he's adorable you don't have to rub it in!" Louise squeezed her eyes shut and put her hand in front of Jane's face.

"Just try smiling when he talks to you, nod and smile. Don't speak, just nod and smile!" Jane knew that if Jensen had been taking classes with them, she'd be exactly the same, she would be so shy and lash out. Thinking of Jensen hurt, but it was involuntary, she was always thinking of him especially now that River Monster's album was topping the charts and their single was at number one in multiple countries including the UK. Once again, he was everywhere and she couldn't escape him, however this time she didn't really want to. They'd announced a tour and for once Eliza wasn't harping on about getting tickets, it was a tricky situation that both sisters had found themselves in. Jane hadn't mentioned this tour and neither had Eliza, both girls were waiting for the other to bring it up. In the end it was Jane whose curiosity got the better of her. "So, River Monster are playing at the Hydro again!"

"Yep!" Was all Eliza had to say in return.

"So, do you want to go? I still have some money saved if you want me to buy you a ticket."

"And who would I go with? I'm not going by myself! Unless you want to come with me?" Eliza gave her the side eye, the sneaky little witch!

"I'm not going, you're the fan, not me!" She spluttered, sinking deeper into the couch, trying to disappear completely.

They never mentioned it again, not until an envelope arrived addressed to both of them, inside were four tickets and backstage passes to a River Monster concert at Rugby Park, just a stone's throw away from their house in Kilmarnock. It wasn't your conventional venue for a world-famous rock band, but obviously one or both of the Reed brothers were responsible for this little detail. There was a note with the tickets that read; Hope you guys can come, love from Jensen and Jonah xoxo. Jane's heart was pounding, Eliza was squealing, and Ricky sighed sadly and told his daughters to count him out. He'd become a recluse since their mother's death and barely went out. When Jane had told Louise about this in their counselling class, she was adamant that Jane and Eliza go.

"You have to! Those boys made the effort to play a show on your doorstep, it's your duty to show up!" She was right of course; it would be rude and this would be the second time that Jane had been given tickets. This time she had to use them.

"Okay, I'll go. I'm just dreading seeing Jensen! All loved up and happy, I mean I want him to be happy but..." She trailed off after seeing the frown on Louise's face.

"She's not his girlfriend, you never see them together! Now if you were his girlfriend on the other hand, well he'd be showing you off to everyone!" Louise, like Eliza and Juliet, always argued that Jensen wasn't seeing Chloe Cornell. Everyone but Jane didn't believe the rumours.

"You realise this is the first contact I've had from Jensen in months!" Jane sighed, if it was even Jensen at all, it could have been Jonah and he just put Jensen's name on it for show.

"Janey, Rugby Park though! That's got to mean something!"

Walking through the gates, seeing the crowd of fans standing in line to get inside, Jane remembered the last River Monster concert she'd been to and felt sick. After all these years, she still felt that painful stab of guilt every time she thought about what she'd done that night. As they stood in line, Eliza babbled away about everything and anything, it was a load of nonsense she was so excited. Then she blurted out something that made Jane's blood run cold. "And of course, your vegan catering thing would never have happened if it wasn't for Jensen!"

"What are you on about?" Jane blinked at her sister as Louise grunted and kicked Eliza on the shin.

"Owwww!" Eliza squealed and several people turned around to see what the fuss was about, "I was just saying that-don't you fucking kick me again Louise!" Eliza pointed an angry finger at Louise, then continued, "I was saying that Jensen was the one who got you that job with his ex, you know, Gemma Lacey? He basically got your business off the ground so..." Looking at Jane's surprised expression, Eliza turned to Louise and gasped slightly, covering her mouth, "Did-did she not know?" Louise shook her head very slowly with a glare, "Oh!" Was all Eliza could say in reply.

"I have...to go!" Jane turned heel and pushed through the queue of people behind her.

"Jane? Janey, it's not...he only got you Gemma Lacey! The rest was all you!" Eliza called back to her as she disappeared out of the gates. After all this time, Jane thought that she'd worked hard for something all by herself, only to be told that Jensen Reed had given her a leg up without her knowledge! Fuck him and his stupid voice and stupid hair and stupid beautiful eyes! Fuck him!

***

Being back on the road with River Monster was better than Jensen had anticipated. He'd been solo for a while and slotting in with four other guys was daunting at first, but eventually it was just like old times. His best friend Kris, now a father of two, was constantly showing him photos of his kids but Jensen was doing the exact same with pictures of his niece Maddie. They'd been touring for a few weeks now and their last show was in Glasgow, tonight they were in a familiar town to the Reed brothers, it was the town where the Thomson sisters lived. Jensen and Jonah had decided to play this venue, a football stadium named Rugby Park, and they'd sent tickets to their girls. After Jane had posted all over her social media that she wasn't dating Corey Tyler and never had been dating him, Jensen had a spring in his step, and he had been in a permanent good mood ever since. He was nervous to see Jane again, but also excited, he'd wanted this for so long and now it was here, he was terrified. At the end of the show, Jensen dedicated a special song to a special girl, just him alone on stage with his guitar...he sang Why Does It Always Rain On Me by Travis, the song he sang the night Jane was crying. He wanted her to know just how much she meant to him, back then and right now! When the show was over and he saw two blondes waiting backstage, his heart leapt in his chest, Jane? That wasn't Jane, it was Louise with Eliza! Where was Jane? Jonah had already raced over to them and was lifting Eliza off the ground, spinning her around as she squealed for him to put her down. They were so cute together, assholes! Jensen approached Louise, who he hadn't officially met yet, and shook her hand. "Hey, Louise, right?" She nodded and blushed.

"Hi, the show was brilliant!"

"Thanks, um, wh-where's Jane?" Jensen looked around the backstage area to see if she was actually there hiding somewhere but when Louise frowned and looked anywhere but at him, he knew the answer.

"She was here but..." Jonah and Eliza giggling behind them almost drowned her out as she raised her voice, "...Eliza let slip about your helping hand? You know, the Gemma Lacey gig?" Jensen's heart sank, thank you Eliza, he thought to himself. "I'm sorry, sometimes Eliza just..." Jensen nodded solemnly.

"I know, she just speaks first and thinks after! I get it, I have that problem myself! It's okay I...thanks for coming. It was nice to finally meet you!" Jensen excused himself and pulled out his phone, scrolling down until he found Jane's number and he pressed call. It rang, and rang, and rang, then it rang some more. He got her voicemail, so he texted her and waited a few minutes for a reply that never came. He sent her a direct message on Instagram, Twitter, then he tried her on Messenger. He got nothing back! Ian was outside having his usual smoke and looking cool as a cucumber. "Dude take me to Jane's right now!" He barked rather rudely as Ian flicked his cigarette and jumped into the car. His first knock on the door didn't get an answer, but the second brought Mr Thomson out glowering over this inconvenience, but his expression brightened when he saw Jensen at the door.

"Och, it's yourself son!"

"Hi Mr Thomson, can I speak with Jane please?" He gave Jensen a confused frown.

"Janey? She's not here, I thought she was at the concert, with you?" He wasn't lying, he wasn't covering for her. Jane really wasn't home.

"Oh, yes, yes, she...sorry I...sorry I bothered you sir!" He made up a story of not seeing her, they must have just missed each other, then he said his goodbyes to Jane's dad and climbed in the back seat of the car where Ian was waiting.

"Boss?" Ian called behind him, awaiting instructions.

"This isn't happening, it is not fucking happening!" Jensen growled angrily, why did Jane keep slipping from his grasp? That pain he had a few months ago had returned, only this time the reason behind it was Jane's refusal to give him a break and just sit down and talk to him. Give him a chance to prove to her that he was worthy, that he was serious about her, that she was always in his heart. That he only recommended her to Gemma Lacey to help her...because he loved her! Nothing had changed, his love for her still burned so intensely, in fact he loved her more every day. But she was hurting him so much, all she ever did was hurt him, was this really worth it? Or would it destroy him in the end? There was only so much rejection that he could take before he gave up on his pursuit for her, there was only so much heartbreak he could endure until it killed him!

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sparklysung · 3 years

Text

✨SWALLOW YOUR WORDS – l.d.h.✨

pairing – lee donghyuck x female!reader

genre – smut | non-idol!au, enemies to lovers!au

warnings – switch!donghyuck, switch!reader, lap dance, cumming in pants, grinding, dry humping, cum eating, hair pulling (giving and receiving), spanking, mirror sex, protected sex (reader’s on the pill), degradation, dirty talk, bondage (belt), possessiveness (i guess?)

word count – 6.043 words

summary – it only took a couple of words to make the blood boil in your veins and being the competitive individual you are, you had to prove lee donghyuck, your all-time enemy, wrong.

note – not my best, probably could've done better, but oh well. also this was frkng hard to write, damn, and i may have changed things a bit? BUT, i think it's better like this so… hope you enjoy! btw, i got the idea while reading this, so go check it out –it's good–.

taglist – @prvncejxon, @iwishihadabettername

another friday night wasting your time at some random classmate’s party. you were everything but happy to be there. you didn’t even want to go there in the first place, only finding yourself sitting on the kitchen counter, drink in hand and an ugly scowl adorning your face, because of your annoying best friend.

“hey, i get it, you didn’t wanna come here when you could have been peacefully sleeping in the comfort of your room, but come on, at least try to have some fun. you’re already here anyway.” eunbin –aka your annoying best friend– said, pouting her lips in a failed attempt of looking cute.

you kind of felt bad for her, you suppose it wasn’t exactly easy to deal with your lazy ass. but still, she was supposed to love you and appreciate you just the way you were.

and most of the time she did, just not in this specific situation.

“this isn’t fun at all, i just wanna go home. there’s nothing in here for me at all.”

you brought the red plastic cup to your lips, taking a sip of the bitter liquid eunbin had mixed for you. you weren’t lying, there really wasn’t anything that would make you want to stay, only a few friends of yours getting drunk somewhere in the big house you were currently in.

“come on, please, stay for me,” eunbin fake cried, and for a moment you thought she was going to give up and let you go. “in a bit the guys are gonna play something fun! we should join them, please?” as her last resort, she looked at you with puppy eyes. she was playing dirty and she knew it, you both knew you couldn’t resist them.

giving in with an exasperated sigh, you jumped off the counter to get yourself another drink from the bar in the living room. you were minding your own business until you heard him, the last person you wanted to see at the moment.

“so, i’m telling you guys, she was literally begging me to fuck her, she even moaned while sucking me off–,” donghyuck’s obnoxious voice filled your ears, making you roll your eyes. he was surrounded by a couple of other guys you didn’t know so well but were sure you had seen them before around campus hanging out with him.

“shut up already, dongdong, no one wants to hear it.” you interrupted, walking past him and towards the half empty bottle of vodka on the bar counter.

the group of boys stopped abruptly, all of them turning to look at you, ready for the scene that was going to take place in matter of minutes. donghyuck’s attention also turned to you, biting back a triumphant smirk with a raised eyebrow. he could see past you so he didn’t mind the mocking nickname you used; he could tell you were trying to irritate him enough to make him go away. but he wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon. he had been eyeing you all night, trying to find ways to get under your skin to catch your attention. and finally, after staying at a safe distance for a while to not spark suspicions, he got what he wanted.

“why so feisty, babe.” the cocky smirk he gave you just made your blood boil, the growing desire to punch it off his pretty face only getting stronger the more you stared at him.

“don’t you get tired of talking shit all day?” you barked, eyes trained on his body while pouring yourself a good amount of alcohol.

you were certainly going to need a lot of liquid courage to get through the night.

“you boast about girls begging for you but i think you’re just trying to hide the fact that you’re the one who has to beg to get laid.”

“i don’t beg, baby.” you rolled your eyes and muttered a ‘sure’. “also, if you’re jealous of me fucking other girls you just had to say it. i wouldn’t be against giving it to you instead.” the stupid wink he threw at you made your body shake in anger, already fed up with the conversation.

“you wish, asshole.”

“actually, i do.”

donghyuck was so fucking annoying, always teasing you and never leaving you alone. your personalities clashed constantly resulting in fights filled with screams and curses, sometimes to the extent of interrupting the class and getting the two of you kicked out of it. he enjoyed watching you struggle and suffer due to his awful pranks, so you were his favorite target. you couldn’t even have a proper date with anyone because he made sure to mess it up either by scaring the crap out of the guy or sabotaging your plans. he almost completely ruined your love life and cockblocked you forever.

you did not get along and everyone knew it.

although eunbin thought it was pure sexual tension and you just needed to get your frustrations off of you with a good fuck.

it wasn’t though.

or was it?

“let’s go hang out with the guys,” your best friend nudged your arm excitedly and you sighed, not feeling like playing anything with them. every time you decided to give in and take part in ‘something fun’ with the guys, it always ended up with you either in trouble or scarred for life.

you had a bad feeling about this all.

“ugh, fine.” she cheered and pulled you through the crowd of drunk people until you reached the basement.

the sound of laughter and screams drowned the music blasting upstairs, there were empty bottles of alcohol sprawled all over the floor and tables and a circle of people in the middle of the room. both of you joined the group with you sitting between eunbin and mark, a close friend of yours that you sadly shared with donghyuck. while you casually chatted and played around with the boy, happily laughing the night away, you could feel a pair of eyes burn holes into your skull. you didn’t have to look up to know who those eyes belonged to, as said person wasn’t even trying to dissimulate.

and by said person you meant donghyuck.

donghyuck hated the way you leaned on mark’s body, how you let his friend rest his head on top of yours and wrap his arm around your waist.

he was jealous, really jealous of your close friendship with the older boy.

mark and you had been friends for a long time now and you could even consider him your best friend, so you were comfortable around each other. you usually hugged, held hands and cuddled, he was used to you wearing his clothes –half of your closet were stolen hoodies that once belonged to him–, he even had a spare change of clothes in his room just in case you decided to drop by for an improvised sleepover. so it wasn’t surprising when sometimes when the two of you hung out on your own, people –even your friends in common– mistook you as a couple.

and the idea of you two dating made donghyuck feel sick to the stomach.

“we’re playing truth or dare, who wants to start?” seoyeon, one of your friends, spoke while looking around for someone to volunteer.

“i’ll go.” lucas raised his hand and everyone nodded, not minding.

the game went smoothly for a while and eventually, the more alcohol everybody drank, the crazier things got. mark ended up getting dared to lick whipped cream off of yuta’s chest and xiaojun had to cross-dress and dance on a table. everything was fine, you hadn’t been picked by anyone yet so you were pretty much having fun just enjoying the show.

until someone called your name.

“y/n, truth or dare?” jaehyun asked with a smirk.

he had an evil glint on his eyes making you feel suspicious. you knew you couldn’t choose truth or else everyone would make fun of you for being a pussy. and jaehyun just knew you well enough to know you weren’t going to let that happen.

you weren’t one to back down.

still, the way he stared at you made an uneasy feeling settle in your stomach.

what could he possibly have in mind?

“dare.”

seems like your gut feeling was right after all.

“give hyuck a lap dance,” jaehyun said immediately after the words left you mouth, making everyone in the room shake, some in excitement and some –you– in anger. donghyuck wasn’t expecting to take part in the dare, but he really wasn’t complaining either. “thank me later babe,” his shit-eating grin only adding fuel to the fire.

fuck.

just as eunbin, donghyuck could sense the sexual tension. and unlike you, he acknowledged it.

but for him it wasn’t just that.

you two had known each other –or at least acknowledged each other's existence– for a few years now, since high school. he was forced to see you almost every day at school, so, naturally, fondness for you started growing slowly in his chest. but it wasn’t until you both left for college that your ‘enemies’ label was established.

and if someone thought he may possibly like you, they were damn right.

he did.

it all started during freshman year, when he tried to befriend you during one of the classes you shared. you seemed irritated by his advances and wanted him away from you, so after a few attempts of softening your heart, he resolved that the only way to stay close to you was annoying the hell out of you.

childish? yeah. he cared? not really.

“come here, babe.” donghyuck tongued the inside of his cheek, a smirk forming on his lips. as he saw the grim look on your face, he sprawled his legs, patting his toned thigh invitingly, eager to get things started.

the look jaehyun gave you had ‘you’re not backing down, are you?’ written all over.

“shit, i hate jaehyun, why did he have to do me dirty like that?” you mumbled angrily to eunbin and she just laughed, finding the situation way funnier than you.

“maybe tonight won’t be as boring as you thought? maybe you’ll end up getting laid.” she wiggled her eyebrows suggestively and you only scoffed, “shut up, dumbass.”

“why did you have to do me like that, huh?!” you almost screamed at the older, taking a mental note to beat him up later. he just shrugged and threw you a wink, “asshole.”

mark patted your back to help you relax, he could see you weren’t exactly happy about your dare.

“come on, which song would you like, my lady?” lucas asked, scrolling through his spotify for suiting songs.

“or nah!” yangyang answered before you could even open your mouth. just as you were about to ask for a less sexual song, cheering erupted through the room.

everyone was pumped, adrenaline running through their veins and pushing them to do stupid stuff they would probably regret the next day after waking up hungover. and things just took a rather interesting turn, so they obviously were excitedly awaiting the next series of events.

yay, more stupid memories to regret later.

on the other hand, donghyuck was as doomed as you. he knew the song well, he knew the lyrics by heart but what he didn’t know was if he could control himself with you basically dry humping him in front of a bunch of people to the rhythm of it.

he wasn’t sure it was a great idea.

as soon as you got up to complete the dare, you heard cheering and clapping. and you weren’t going to lie, you wanted to throw yourself out of a window.

breathing deeply in an attempt of relaxing to just get it over with, you made your way towards donghyuck until you were standing a few feet in front of him.

as the music started playing, you started moving. running your finger on the surface of his clothed shoulder, you walked slowly around him, like a predator circling its prey. he tried not to follow your movements, already getting anxious by your closeness and nervously waiting for your next move.

i’ma smoke this joint then i’ma break you off.

i’d be lying if i said you ain’t the one.

you pushed his legs open and settled between them. your hands rubbed his thighs teasingly, fingers drawing closer to his crotch but not quite getting there. you took your sweet time feeling him up, softly scratching his strong arms and leaving red trails behind. donghyuck was so into it, enjoying the sight of you kneeling before him so much that his pants were already starting to feel tight.

heard you not the type that you take home to mom.

is we fuckin’ when we leave the club or nah?

i ain’t spendin’ cash for nothin’ i wanna see you take it off.

and oh how he wanted to see you take it off. all night he couldn’t take his eyes off of your figure, you looked really good in the outfit eunbin had chosen for you.

so good it was almost making him drool.

you sat on his lap, hands going to caress his toned chest and stomach. it was well-known that donghyuck exercised frequently, but it still surprised you. he felt so good you had to bite your lip to prevent a sound from coming out.

when you shifted to sit closer to him, his hands flew to your hips and you could tell his intention was to move them lower to grope your ass, but you weren’t having it.

do you like the way i flick my tongue or nah?

you can ride my face until you’re drippin’ cum.

“if you try to touch me again, i’ll tie you up,” you said with a sweet smile plastered on your face, grabbing him by the wrists and harshly dropping them away from you. donghyuck let out a startled gasp at that, obviously not expecting your attitude. with his hands twitching to grasp anything, he went to grip tightly the sides of the chair.

can you lick the tip then throat the dick or nah?

can you let me stretch that pussy out or nah?

your hips ground against his crotch at such a slow pace that donghyuck was having trouble not pushing you down on him faster. he was getting embarrassingly hornier as seconds passed and wanted nothing more than to fuck you right then and there, even with his friends’ eyes on you both.

donghyuck tried so hard to restrain himself from touching you. he wasn’t one to follow orders, but he tried just for you, he really did.

i’m not the type to call you back tomorrow.

but the way you wrappin’ ‘round me is a prob.

and everything was fine until you kissed him. synchronized gasps filled the room, the sudden show of affection confusing everybody. not even your intoxicated self could understand what the hell were you doing nor who you were doing it with. his breath got stuck in his throat, heart thumping against his chest at an alarming rate. his hands almost tried to bring you closer, but he realized what he was doing on time to stop himself.

he finally broke down when your mouth sucked on his tongue, making his hips grind up against yours unconsciously as his hands grabbed you by your waist, pressing your body flush against his.

that was it.

“you asked for it,” your movements came to a stop as you took off your black leather belt, sticking to your threat of tying him up if he didn’t quit it.

pussy so good, i had to save that shit for later.

took her to the kitchen, fucked her right there on the table.

“oh shit,” donghyuck stirred under you trying to get out of the situation.

this couldn’t be happening.

“no, please,” he whimpered as you fastened the belt until it was wrapped tightly around his wrists, locking his arms behind his back. your audience was unable to hold in their surprise, some mouths falling open. he fought against the restraints to no avail, desperate to free himself, “please, let me go,” he cried out quietly, not wanting the other occupants in the room to hear him.

“stop complaining or else i’ll also gag you,” you spat harshly in his ear, done with his attitude, and he swallowed hard. as you nibbled on his lobe, you felt a strong sense of confidence. it made your chest swell in pride to see the usual big mouth jerk with a smug grin constantly attached to his face falling apart under your touch.

seems like he was the one to beg, after all.

you moved your hips to the rhythm of the music, making sure to press harder against the sensitive tip of his cock, which was already leaking precum. although you weren’t an expert, you’d given a fair share of lap dances, so you knew what you were doing.

and donghyuck could certainly tell.

don’t play with a boss, girl take it off.

take it for a real one.

you gon’ get it all.

“whose bitch are you now, huh?” donghyuck couldn’t speak properly, way too hot and bothered for his brain to come up with any smart-ass response.

you tsked disapprovingly at his lack of response.

“when i ask you a question, you answer.” your fingers tangled in his hair and with a harsh tug you forced him to look up. donghyuck was dazed, lips swollen from you biting on them, eyes glassy from arousal, and mind clouded with lust.

“yours.” he whimpered quietly, forgetting momentarily about your audience.

“good boy.”

you loved how easy it was for you to break him and leave him wanting more, to have him so putty in your hands. specially since hearing comments of other female classmates about donghyuck teasing them almost till the brim of tears was part of your day-to-day life. it felt like you were getting revenge for all of them, so you were enjoying it a lot more than anyone could imagine.

your plump lips trailed down the length of his neck, leaving wet kisses along his honey-like skin, and he threw his head back to give you more access. as you licked, sucked and bit the flesh, donghyuck could hear his heartbeat loud over the music. he usually wouldn’t let a girl suck hickeys on his skin, but the idea of you marking him while everyone watched was rather exciting.

he swore the seconds passed slower than usual. you were just halfway through the song but he didn’t know if he could survive any longer.

donghyuck felt light-headed and painfully aroused, and he wasn’t going to last long if you kept kissing him and moving your hips the way you were.

“i’ma go as far as you let me,” your movements became slower to tease him, making the poor boy want to cry in agony. his jeans felt way too tight to be comfortable and he hoped everyone could just leave you two alone to take it off.

“shit, please,” donghyuck’s eyes closed, head falling forward and hanging low as drops of sweat slid down his forehead. the room felt like an oven and he didn’t know if it was a result of the significant amount of people in such a small space, the alcohol, his choice of clothing or your body pressed closely against his.

probably the latter.

girl, is you sucking me or fucking me or nah?

can i bring another bitch? let’s have a threesome.

“keep saying you’re a freak, you gon’ prove it or nah?” you quietly sang along, pulling his face closer by his hair and grinding down on him harder.

donghyuck was going crazy, he had never expected you to be so sexy, to behave so dirtily. but he loved it, and by the prominent tent in his pants, everybody could tell he was in for the ride of his life.

you’s a ride-or-die chick, you with this shit or nah?

say you not a side bitch, you all-in or nah?

you gon’ make them eggs cheesy with them grits or nah?

you brought him in for a hot kiss that left his head spinning.

donghyuck was growing restless as his climax neared, he was so close he could almost taste it. he couldn’t remember when the last time he got so close to cumming only from some teasing was.

everything was happening so quickly he wasn’t able to stop himself before giving in to the pleasure.

“h-holy fuck,” with a shaky moan that you swallowed, donghyuck shot his load, staining the crotch of his dark jeans. you could feel the wetness seeping through the piece of clothing and dampening your bottoms. his hips gave a few more sloppy thrusts, legs shaking weakly and cock twitching from the confines of his jeans, before falling limp on the chair.

or nah.

as the song ended, he came down from his high. you freed him from the iron grip of your belt, the skin on his wrists was red and slightly swollen. you may have tightened it too much in the heat of the moment, but you weren’t apologizing after giving him probably the best orgasm of his life.

the bewildered expression on his face quickly turned grim as it hit him.

he came in his pants like a fucking teenager.

in a room full of people.

in front of his friends, yours and you.

his friends stood there, both confused and surprised to see donghyuck so affected by your touch. nobody had expected things to end the way they did.

“damn, are you okay my man?” johnny asked, laughing at his friend’s flustered state.

“shut up,” donghyuck answered bitterly. he shot up from his seat, grabbing your hand and shoving you inside the nearest bathroom in the house. he didn’t even care to cover the wet spot on his pants, walking with his chin up and a scowl plastered on his face.

and blame it on how riled up you had gotten from the feeling of his hard dick pressing against your needy pussy, but damn, he looked good.

“i wanna go next!” hendery spoke excitedly. you couldn’t tell if he was just messing with you or if he actually wanted you to give him a lap dance too. either way, it made your lips turn upwards in a smug grin.

once you both made it to the bathroom, he locked the door before pushing you against it, back pressed flush into the hard piece of wood. the ambience took a 180 turn, your confidence faltered slightly at the sight of his angry form.

“you think it’s funny, yeah?” he hummed angrily in your ear. “you think i’d let you do whatever you want and embarrass me in front of my friends just because you feel like it without payback?” the look on his eyes getting darker as the words left his mouth.

“if so, oh baby, you were so wrong.”

trying to test him, you decided to answer.

“you’re all bark and no bite, what else am i supposed to think?” you smirked devilishly when you saw him clench his jaw.

“you’re gonna regret being a brat,” his slender fingers wrapped themselves around your waist and with a harsh tug, he pulled you closer to attack your lips, biting and sucking on them, making your legs wobbly. he tasted sweet and bitter at the same time, probably from the liquor he had been drinking all night, and you couldn’t seem to get enough. his lips were soft and plush as they mingled with yours, teeth roughly clashing and tongues fighting for dominance, “am i?”

donghyuck hissed through his teeth as he unbuckled his pants, letting his cum-covered shaft spring free. he was already hard and you unconsciously rubbed your thighs together to ease some of the tension building up between them. his hand shot to your throat, tightening his grip until you couldn’t breathe properly, before forcing you on your knees.

donghyuck tapped his hard and heavy cock on your lips a couple of times before speaking. “open up, slut,” and you did as you were told, parting your lips and poking your tongue out, waiting for him to slide in.

but he didn’t.

he wanted you to lick him clean, he wanted to see you do as he said, follow his orders like a good girl without complaints.

“clean the mess you’ve done. now.”

the harsh tone of his voice sent a wave of arousal straight to your core. your hands immediately shot up to grab a hold of his length, but before you got too close he stopped you. confusion was written all over your face and for a moment you worried he had changed his mind.

“no hands, i want you to work on it only with that dirty mouth of yours.”

with your hands gripping onto his thighs, your tongue swiped from the base to the head of his cock, eagerly licking him clean. once you had swallowed every drop of his cum, your mouth took him whole, hollowing your cheeks, one hand massaging his balls. donghyuck threw his head back as yours bobbed at a rapid pace, the tip of his cock reaching the back of your throat as you swallowed around him.

when he was about to cum, he pulled away from your mouth, making you whine at the loss. wrapping his hand once again around your throat like a beautiful necklace, he forced you up on your feet. he turned you around before pulling you closer by a rough tug. your clothed ass pressed against his dick, a mixture of his arousal and your saliva wetting the cloth. your hips ground back to both tease him, desperate to feel something, anything. his hands went to the front of your jeans, rubbing his fingers over your clothed clit and a whimper fell from your lips.

“more, i need more,” you pleaded, the barrier of clothes making the feeling less pleasurable.

he surprisingly complied without resistance, dipping the digits under the restricting cloth. a deep groan vibrated against the side of your neck when he felt the wetness that had been gathering inside your panties since your dare.

“look at you, so damn wet,” his mouth watered at the feeling of your needy heat. at this point, donghyuck knew everyone had an idea of what you two could possibly be doing, and although he would enjoy returning the favour by eating you out to his heart’s content, there wasn’t enough space nor time to do so comfortably. but he swore he would make it up to you some time.

“for who is it, baby?” the answer was obvious, but still, he wanted to hear it directly from you. he inserted one long finger until it was knuckles deep inside of you and you let out a squeak, head falling back onto his shoulder.

“for you donghyuck, all for you.”

“that’s right, slut, only i can make you that wet, only i can touch you like this. you’re mine, don’t forget that,” he inserted a second finger and pumped them deeply into you.

“yes,” you breathed out softly, too far gone to fight back with a snarky remark.

although his fingers felt good and you could possibly –with a bit of an effort– cum just from them, you still wanted more. you wanted to feel the nice stretch of his cock tearing your walls apart.

“please, donghyuck.”

“what do you want?”

donghyuck knew what you wanted. fuck, he wanted it too, so bad. he had been waiting for an opportunity like this for a long time and now that he could finally have it, he was going to make the best out of it.

“fuck me,” your core ached to be filled so you swallowed your pride and spoke out.

“condom?”

“we don’t need it, i’m on the pill,” you rushed, stomach twisting and turning in excitement, “please, just fuck me.”

donghyuck’s eyes turned darker, lust clouding both of your minds with the only desire to fuck each other stupid. he pulled down your jeans so they were pooling on your ankles and went back to pump his fingers inside you to make sure you were ready to take him. as he entered you, you had to lean on the sink in front of you to hold yourself up or else you would have faceplanted the mirror.

“you feel so good, fuck, so fucking tight,” donghyuck growled when he was balls deep in you.

whimpers fell from your lips from the delicious stretch of his thick cock. after a few seconds of you adjusting to his size, you backed your ass into his hips to let him know you wanted him to move. he gave a couple of thrusts to test the waters before picking up his pace and you gripped the sides of the sink as he pounded into you. his mouth worked on your neck while you brought one of his hands under your shirt to play with your breasts.

“such a pretty sight, don’t you think?” he tugged harshly at your hair to force you to look at your reflection on the mirror, thrusts never faltering.

your makeup was ruined; lipstick smeared messily all over your lips from the hot make-out session, neck full of bruises donghyuck left to claim you, shirt pulled above your breasts displaying your puckered nipples while one of his big hands grabbed your boob as they bounced with every hard snap of his hips.

“you have no idea how many times i had to control myself not to pounce on you,” his eyes never left your quivering reflection, completely in love with the way your frame molded with his, “every single time you couldn’t keep that pretty little mouth of yours closed and all i wanted to do was shut you up with my cock.”

“f-fuck,” his thrusts turned rougher as his free hand wrapped around your neck, tightening his grip and amplifying the mind-blowing sensations he was giving you.

your asscheeks slapped against his hips, which drilled against you at an unhuman pace, hitting the right spots with every snap and making your eyes roll to the back of your head. you couldn’t keep your mouth shut, loud moans threatening to fall from your lips so you slapped your palm over your mouth to muffle your sounds.

“don’t, i want to hear you,” he gave a particularly hard thrust to try and draw a sound out of you, “i want you to be so loud that all of our friends know what we’re doing, i want them to know how good i’m making you feel.”

specially mark.

but he wasn’t going to tell you that.

“h-hyuck,” you couldn’t hold back the broken moan that fell from your lips, pleasure overtaking your body. your hands gave in and you almost fell forward, but donghyuck reacted sooner and pulled you by your hair, holding you up.

“address me properly, brat,” he growled in your ear. you felt a hard slap on your ass, the skin of the abused area stinging from the impact.

“i’m sorry… fuck, donghyuck,” your cries went straight to his dick, urging him to fuck you harder. he kneaded the flesh soothingly before spanking it again and again until you could make out the imprint of his big hand on your asscheek.

“f-faster, please,” you pleaded in a whine and he tsked, shaking his head, “such a greedy little slut.”

“what would everyone think of you if they could see you so eagerly taking my cock, mm?” donghyuck hummed, “begging for me to fuck you until you can’t walk properly?

shocks of pleasure shot through you, his dirty talk helping you reach your release faster than you anticipated. his grip on you was so tight you were sure you were going to be sore the next day. your moans turned pornographic as you neared your release, your walls squeezed around donghyuck to the point he was unable to move, so he started drawing circles over your sensitive clit to help you get off.

“let go, baby.”

and soon, his touch threw you over the edge, causing your body to shake and a broken moan to fall from your lips, legs weak as your whole weight only relied on your arms for support. he followed shortly after, grunting as he filled you up with his warm and sticky essence.

as he pulled out, a mixture of your slick juices and his seed leaked from your abused hole, dripping down your inner thighs. his fingers slid over to gather the drops of cum and opposite to your assumption, he didn’t push it back inside of you but brought the digits to your face, waiting for you to open your mouth.

“suck.”

and you did, eyes locked with his through the mirror as your tongue swirled around his fingers to lick them clean.

“fuck,” donghyuck sighed, “i didn’t know you were so dirty, sweetheart.”

and the teasing comes back.

“do you want me to remind you how i made you cum in your pants back there in a room full of people?” you rolled your eyes in disbelief and he just let out a breathy laugh.

“whatever. either way, even if they didn’t have the pleasure of fucking you or at least seeing you get fucked, they surely could hear you from how loud you were screaming my name.”

“good thing mark now knows who you belong to,” the words slipped out of his mouth before he could think and both of you shared a look of pure shock.

“did you just mention mark?”

“…no?”

“you did! what the fuck? were you jealous of mark?” you asked, eyes wide as you remembered the disgusted look on his face when you and mark got too touchy with each other during the game.

“i am jealous of mark.”

“what? why?”

“oh my god, you’re so dense.”

“shut up, i’m not.”

“yes, you are. i like you dumbass, that’s fucking why. why wouldn’t i be jealous if you two act like you’re dating but always deny it when questioned? i can give you my hoodies, i can cuddle you and hold your hand, i can spoil you with cute stuff. i can be your boyfriend, it doesn’t have to be him.”

everything was so weird.

you were supposed to be enemies for fucks sake.

but he looked cute with pouty lips.

“well, you sure have got a damn weird way of demonstrating it.”

“shut up, okay?” donghyuck snapped, done with trying to get you to shut the fuck up. “i just didn’t know how to approach you or talk to you at all, alright?” he sighed, a scowl forming on his face. “you always seem to be angry when i’m around.” the change in his voice shocked you, it was much softer now, as if he was afraid of you hearing it.

“hey, don’t beat yourself for it, alright?” you sighed, feeling bad for being so mean to him for no reason. because you really didn’t have a reason. whenever you weren’t at each other’s throats and you got time to observe him from afar, you saw how caring he was with his friends, even if most of the time he annoyed the crap out of them.

donghyuck actually seemed like a good guy… if you ignored his teasing.

maybe you didn’t hate him as much as you thought.

“so, would you be my-,”

suddenly, the sound of banging on the door resonated through the room.

“are you done already? i need to pee.”

you quickly fixed your clothes, embarrassed by the presence of someone outside the door waiting for you and donghyuck to get out and momentarily forgetting about the boy’s proposal. just as you were about to open the door and get yourself the fuck out of the situation, his arms wrapped around your waist to pull you closer and whisper to your ear in a way you could feel your panties get damp once again.

“we’re not done yet, princess.”

–lia:)

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getlostsquidward · 3 years

Text

The gaps in your hearts (Part 2)

Lou Miller x fem!reader

A/N: You asked for part 2, and I shall deliver. I hope it's worth your wait!!

Summary: After your departure, an unexpected circumstance had you arriving back at the loft, back at Lou. Will the gaps in your hearts only become wider or will they be finally filled?

Part one

“Oh, bugger. Baby? I’m home.”

“Nice place.”

“Try heating it.”

“There’s a room for you upstairs. Your stuff’s upstairs too.”

Lou called your name a couple of times but she got no answer. Maybe you went out and got something from the store. She furrowed her eyebrows at the notion that you didn’t let her know you’ll go out like you usually does.

She can’t wait for you to meet Debbie.

The sun has set down and you weren’t at home yet. Lou was growing worried each minute that passes. She’d left you text messages, she tried to call you several times, but all of it went to voicemail. Where did you go?

Debbie had returned from her closure meeting with Claude. She had bought takeout for dinner but Lou wasn’t in any mood to eat. She was antsy but keeping it down so her friend won’t notice. Maybe you were called in at work? Maybe you went out with a friend and forgot to send her a text. The blonde knows you can perfectly take care of yourself but she can’t help but be worried.

“Where’s your girl?” Debbie asked, reminded of Lou calling someone ‘baby’ when they arrived earlier.

Lou just shrugged her shoulders, not really knowing what to answer.

“Maybe she hit her head and woke up from the truth,” the brunette joked.

Lou glared at her friend. “Not funny.”

“Tell me about her.”

The blonde started to tell her friend everything. From how you met, the ups and downs of your relationship, and how loving and wonderful you are. You were patient and understanding; you were perfect in every way and she hated how she’d managed to hurt the one person that did nothing but love her.

The day you moved out of the loft was the most devastating day of her life. It was way much worse than when Debbie left before.

She knew that you were checking in on her through Matt, and she was wracked with guilt. Even after what she’d done, you still care for her. Lou unconsciously checks her phone to see if you left a message but to no avail. You really honoured your word that you’d give her time, and she was thankful for that.

In your two-month break, she really had thought about it all. She used the time to sort out her feelings. Hell, she even opened up to some of her other friends for help, something she rarely does even with those who know her. Unearthing her feelings.

Lou had feelings for Debbie. She didn’t know if it was romantic or if it was just a deep affection. She didn’t really think much of it. Debbie was one of the few of the persons she knows she could trust with her life and in the conworld, such a person was like a rare gem. It was hard to find, and if you do, you’ve got to treasure it. And so she did.

“Maybe you’d mistaken the concept of love and affection. You told me you really didn’t think anything about it and that explains it. The moment you felt that that person was dear to you, you immediately equated it to romantic love.”

The words mentioned had hit Lou, hard. Once she realized that, she promptly had to find you. She called you, but you didn’t answer. She didn’t know where you were staying so she asked your friends, and that’s how Lou found you drowning in liquor in some alley.

“You’re an idiot, you know that?” Debbie berated, feeling rather guilty about how she was probably the reason you left for the second time around.

“I do. No need to remind me.”

“I’m gonna tell you to go find her, but I also need you to focus on the job. Can you do both?”

“Of course,” Lou sighed. She won’t know what she would do if she were to lose you for real this time.

You were feeling rueful for leaving Lou without a word. You knew she’d be worried sick, but it was the best for the two of you. Once again, you fell into your routine. It was incredibly helpful that an event was coming and you can spend all of your time at work. Though this time, the constant drinking was out of your to-do list.

Your mind often wandered to Lou. She said something about a job, maybe that’s what they’re doing right now. Has she been thinking of you too?

The messages and missed calls Lou had sent you were not in your knowledge as you’d let your best friend hide your phone, and bought a new one for you. At first, you thought that it would be ridiculous and childlike of you but maybe she had a point. The worst-case scenario would be Lou filing for a missing person’s case, but you knew she wouldn’t dare cross paths with the police.

“Oh my god, you guys. This party is nuts. I’m not kidding! If your dress is ugly, you can’t wear it, no shit! They will bower your wardrobe!” Tammy rambled and rushed to get into the loft where she got everyone’s attention.

“I love that!” Lou quipped.

“Oh I gotta pee,” Tammy continued to ramble. “Every table cost a quarter-million dollars that if they allow you to buy one! I mean not just any $250,000 check will be approved, I mean they literally have to tell you whether or not they’ll take your money, it’s crazy!”

Everyone was standing outside the bathroom, still listening to Tammy rant about the Met.

“And then you can’t bring anyone, that you clearly go by yourself. They spend a hundred grand on food and apparently no one eats, it’s really crazy,” the blonde finished as she went out, kind of out of breath from the continuous rambling.

“Did you get the seating chart?” asked Debbie.

“The what?”

“The seating chart.” Tammy handed the special glasses she was wearing to Debbie.

“If I haven’t said it, it’s really crazy. This one person that I’m working with maybe is the only saving grace of that place. Thank goodness for Y/N,” the blonde sighed, capturing the attention of Lou.

She shared looks with Debbie, hoping that it was you their friend was talking about.

After discussing the seating chart, they approached Tammy and straightforwardly asked about you, if you were the same person she’d mentioned. Apparently, you quit your last job and had started few weeks prior to Tammy. Lou asked if you’re doing well, and almost cried when she nodded. When Tammy asked why they are curious, Debbie answered. “Lou’s girl. Left because of this dumbass right here.”

The blonde had a surprised expression on her face, a bit amazed at how small the world is. The person they’ve been looking for was only at their reach this whole time.

“She’s sweet. If you’re planning to get her back, which I know you would, you better not mess up.”

Since that day, Lou was itching to contact you but inhibited herself. She’d finish the job first, then she would have you back. If she was lucky enough to be given a second chance, which she wouldn’t fucking waste, she can finally go to California riding with you on her new bike like you always wanted to do.

Finally, it was the first Monday in May. Lou was still in the van with Nineball, preparing food for her. She remembered you telling her she would look good in a chef’s uniform. She wasn’t actually a chef right now, but she still owes you a hundred bucks.

What if you weren’t gone? Maybe you would be in on the heist too, and you would be the most beautiful woman in her eyes, everyone else in the Met is damned. She knew you would have loved and drooled over the green jumpsuit she was wearing.

The heist was successful, and the ladies were lounging at the loft. Their dillydally was halted when an unexpected guest has stormed the loft. Daphne Kluger.

“You guys are fucked,” the actress huffed. “Wow, nice place.”

“Excuse me, you are trespassing-”

“No, we asked her to come,” Lou cut Tammy’s accusation.

Debbie started to explain how Daphne might have gotten a sense of what they were doing, so they roped the brunette in. Daphne then asserted how she was the one who was saving everyone from insurance fraud. Another revelation had caused panic to those who didn’t know, scared that they might be busted and imprisoned.

“We will not be the prime suspect.”

“Then who will be the prime suspect?”

Lou listed several people like the security guys and the busboy. Their attention was focused on Daphne that they didn’t notice another person coming in. You quietly opened the door in purpose, glancing at each of the women inside. You’d heard the last bit of their conversation and captured their attention by announcing your presence.

“The shady guy who put Debbie away,” you casually commented, walking towards everyone.

“Wow,” Daphne chuckled. “The boyfriend.”

Everyone but Debbie and Daphne was shocked, for the third time around. They didn’t really expect guests today. Lou looked like she had seen a ghost but didn’t take her eyes off you.

“Yup. If they were gonna be looking for somebody, just had to make sure it wasn’t one of us.”

You whispered a “Hi, Tam” to your coworker, and took a sit in the middle of her and Daphne. “The precision, right?” the actress turned to you. “The attention to detail, a little grace note that really makes something sing.”

While she was blubbering about how well-thought the job was, she scooted closer to you and put a hand on your thigh. Lou raised an eyebrow at the action, jealousy bubbling in her chest.

“Why are you doing this?” Tammy asked, referring to Daphne. “And Y/N? You were in too? How?”

You let the brunette answer first and when she finished, Debbie had answered for you.

“She was our other mole in the Met, aside from you and Nine.”

“Oh, you were an angel, Y/N. She made sure I was okay after hurling my guts out. Much much better company than my date,” Daphne preached, leaning her head on your shoulder. You rest your head on hers in return.

Lou’s jaw was gritted, it was too much for her and she couldn’t look any longer. She looked at Debbie and gave her a perplexed look, asking for further explanation.

The brunette just shrugged her shoulder, knowing it was up to you to talk to Lou. After all, it was the reason she approached you. At first, she had only talked to you about Lou, but later called to ask if you were willing to join in the job. You’d said yes right away.

That night, you saw Lou sitting near the shore. She was staring straight ahead as you sat next to her.

“Lou?”

“You know, I planned to talk to you after we got the money. But you got to me first,” she whispered.

“You have to thank Debs for that.”

Lou chuckled, “Debs? What, you’re on a nickname basis now? She doesn’t even let me call her that.”

“She told me everything. And, I- I’m sorry, Lou. I shouldn’t have left like that, left you worried though you had a job to focus on-”

Lou cut you off as she pulled you in for a hug. “No, Y/N. I should be the one apologizing.”

Her hand was running up and down your back, the touch soothing all of your troubles. You can finally feel at peace. There was no snarling voice at the back of your head, no heavy feeling. You feel like a sailor in the middle of a calm sea.

“I’ll make it up to you, for real, this time,” Lou pulled back, giving you a smile. You nodded in return.

“Although you may have to explain first what was that earlier,” her smile faded, and glared at you playfully.

You were about to ask what she was referring to when you suddenly remembered. You told her how you may or may not have told Daphne that you were on a rough patch and she volunteered to help make Lou jealous. Both of you shared a laugh as she commented on how effective it was that she had to restrain herself from tearing you apart from the actress.

There was no time to waste, you thought as you pressed your lips against Lou’s. The kiss was slow and passionate, the both of you pouring all your feelings out. Her hand entangled itself on the base of your skull as she deepened the kiss, tongue swiping on your bottom lip asking for entrance. You let her dominate you, a soft moan coaxed out of your mouth.

The only thing you could focus on was the feeling of Lou’s lips; your hammering heart and the waves lapping gently at the shore.

“I love you, baby,” Lou murmured, both of you breathless.

“I know, Lou. I love you too.”

#cate blanchett #cate blanchett x reader #lou miller x reader #lou miller #ocean's 8 #ocean's 8 fanfiction #debbie ocean #tammy #daphne kluger

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shreddedparchment · 3 years

Text

A Wife for Thor Pt.22

Obstacle

04/08/2021

Pairing: King!Thor x Reader Word Count: 5,413

Warnings: angst, jealousy, marital problems, pregnancy, allusions to cheating (no actual infidelity), fluff, smug Loki

A/N: It took me SO long to get this chapter down. I wrote literally like a few sentence a day for a bit and then finally got some good chunks out. This has been a tough week but this chapter makes it all worth it! I hope y’all think so too. A lot of good stuff happens in this chapter, as in stuff that I really like. If you happen to reblog, thanks so much for helping me spread my work!

Please DO NOT repost my stories on any other sites or blogs.

REBLOGS are always welcome!

The shuffle around the palace as Loki escorts you through the front gate is overwhelming.

It’s safe to say that judging by your reception when you’d shown up in Heimdall’s tower located on the far side of the city, the Asgardians are happy to see you.

Armod is also happy to see you and you rush to get into your car before you can get swarmed by eager Asgardians.

Loki joins you in the back seat and lets Armod gush over his happiness at seeing you back home and healthy. And pregnant! More than anything, the people are happy to see the swell of your belly.

Many of the women are crying as you step out of the car at the palace gate, the men cheering enthusiastically.

Some of the children have found flower petals to throw into the air and it rains white, pink, and yellow blossoms.

It's the small waving hand of a little girl with ebony floor length braids that tugs too hard on your heartstrings and you give in to your impulse.

“Armod, stop the car, I’d like to greet the people,” you ask, swayed further by the eager faces of the young girl's siblings who flank her..

As much as being Queen had come unexpectedly and as much work as it's been, loving the Asgardians has never been a challenge and you've missed your people.

Their kindness has always been the best part of your day.

Armod gives Loki a quick look but stops the car just as the palace gates are opening.

He pulls over to the side, putting it in park before hurrying out to open the door for you.

“Are you sure?” Loki checks, reaching over to place his hand over yours on the seat.

“Of course. I owe them this. I’ve been gone for so long.”

“If you’d rather go in, we can find an excuse.”

“Loki,” you laugh once. “Is something wrong? Is there a reason I shouldn’t get out of the car?”

“Not at all,” he assures you. “I just don’t want you to force yourself. I know this pregnancy hasn’t exactly been easy on you.”

“I’m okay. And I’m sure they wanna see the proof that they have an heir coming. Really, Loki, I don't mind.”

Loki sighs, but gets out quickly to move around and take Armod’s place and offer you his arm.

Taking it, you pull yourself out, and after a long moment to steady yourself on your feet, you turn to face your people.

A large number of Valkyries suddenly pour from the open palace gateway and you wait as they line themselves in front of the gathering crowd. A simple border of control to keep you safe.

The people don’t seem threatened by the guard either and they continue to cheer until you raise your hand and call them to silence.

It only takes a few seconds for the noise to die, leaving only the ambient sounds of the city, wind, and the shuffling feet as more Asgardians and visiting humans gather.

“Hello,” you begin, voice a little shaky from nerves. “I’m...I-I’d like to start by first apologizing for disappearing. And then for being gone so long.”

The people watch and listen attentively, hanging on your every word. As your hands drop down to your belly to stroke it anxiously out of habit, their eyes are drawn to it and they seem to rattle with excitement again.

Looking down at your tummy, you contemplate the little one inside and the kicks he gave you earlier in the day.

He's really in there.

“It’s been a long journey to do what’s been expected of me. Difficult, actually. Giving you and Thor what we’ve all been hoping for is a privilege though. It's important that you all know that.

"However, I'm not as strong as all of you. I'm not as resilient. As soon as I knew that I was expecting the future prince or princess of New Asgard, I knew that I had to take precautions. I had to stop thinking like your Queen and just for a while, think like a mom. I told Thor that I wanted to take some time away from my duties as Queen if only to make sure that my pregnancy would take. In order to ensure the health of this baby.

“Im so very sorry if I caused any of you any worry or pain by disappearing. That was never my intention and it makes me...I can only say that I'm sorry. I hope that you all can understand why I left. The The thing is I’m happy to say that my efforts weren't wasted, clearly."

There's a rumble of gentle laughter that flows through the crowd and breaks the slightly somber mood your speech is causing. You give them a smile and they smile back.

"And while that does make me very happy, it has not been easy to carry this baby. I have been sick and weak but after some rest I'm now feeling stronger than ever. With the constant and careful care provided by Doctors Wilson and Alric, I’m finally able to resume my duties as Queen with the knowledge that this baby is strong and healthy and my body can take the strain of bringing him-or her into this world.

“I’m so happy to be back among my people, my home. You all are my family and it fills me with such joy to know that I have made you all proud.”

The people cheer, more and more gathering along the street so that it’s now clogged and impassable. Others have taken to peeking out of windows from the surrounding buildings or finding balconies and roofs to stand on to get a better look at you.

Their excitement changes to trepidation at the look on your face as you realize that now is the perfect time to address what happened yesterday.

They’re so attuned to your mood that they quiet down again and wait nervously for you to speak.

"On a more serious note, I know that many of you must have been shocked by the lies spewed onto the pages of the Watch. And I'd like to be as clear as I possibly can about my absence from the palace.

"I only left because of the concern I had for our future prince or princess. There was absolutely no other reason for my absence in our great city. While it is true that something did happen between Thor, Jane, and myself--well, I will only say that now I know that His Majesty the King of Asgard is wholly devoted to me and our family, just as he has been from the moment he accepted me as his wife.

"Not that I ever doubted it," you lie. No one needs to know how bad things are and it is true that now you know Thor is devoted to you.

So, it's not completely a lie.

"As a people," you continue. "We'll need to be vigilant about the people we choose to trust to come into our homes. We will be more cautious now, and as a woman…"

You swallow hard, thinking about the words itching on the tip of your tongue to tumble forward and make your heart clear. Maybe it's not right to say it? Maybe it isn't the queenly thing to do?

You don't care.

"As a wife and a soon-to-be mother, I will say that Doctor Jane Foster is not welcome in my home. She has proven to be unworthy of the trust we placed in her and while her expertise is an invaluable commodity that I am sad to lose, I would rather have the second best than risk the stability of my family."

To your surprise, there are a flutter of approving nods and smiles, wives and husband's looking scandalized by the confirmation that something went down but clearly it was Thor that had Jane kicked out. A few cheers come but they quiet down quickly.

"My love for His Majesty is unwavering. As is his for me. No marriage can be without it's struggles but Thor and I are as united as we have ever been. Both in love, devotion, to each other and you, our people. Together we will strive to protect this kingdom to the best of our abilities and with this child, I hope we can begin to lay down proper roots for us so that everyone on Earth will know that New Asgard is here to stay."

The crowd cheers. It's deafening and your hands are trembling so terribly even clenched into fists they shake.

"LONG LIVE THE QUEEN!" someone shouts and the others fall into the chant as it's picked up by what sounds like everyone in the crowd.

A cool hand presses against the center of your back and you lean towards him as he whispers in your ear.

"That was beautifully done, Y/N," Loki admires. "Now come along. You need your rest."

You cradle your bump and the crowd cheers louder as you wave while Loki leads you back into the car.

As it pulls away from the curb, the Valkyrie turn to follow behind you. Faces full of stern pride. Their gleaming armor shining bright in the late afternoon sun.

The large wooden and steel reinforced gates of the palace close with a thundering clatter and you lean back, heart suddenly clenching painfully. Your stomach turns and you feel like you might throw up.

You shut your eyes and open the window allowing the cooling air to help drive your nausea away.

"Y/N? You alright?" Loki checks, putting his hand on your arm.

"I'm fine," you assure him, unwilling to open your eyes.

"Are you sure? Only, you're looking a little green."

That doesn't actually happen does it? Do people look green when they're gonna throw up?

You assume he's exaggerating, but as the last bit of the swirl in your belly passes, you look at him with fearful eyes.

"I'm nervous," you admit.

"To see Thor?"

"Mm," you nod.

"He's missed you. He will probably try and hug you. Might even kiss you."

"I don't know if I can handle that, Loki."

"You'll have to. The guards around the palace are sworn to secrecy about anything that happens in here, but with the amount of information that magazine was able to get we're pretty sure there's a mole amongst our number."

You look away from him, frowning because the last thing you want is to hug and kiss Thor.

Well, that is, you really want to do those things. Which is why you shouldn't. Not until you can be around him with some kind of rational thought and control over your feelings.

You need to get a grip and come to terms with the reality of your situation before you can let yourself love hum.

You have to protect yourself.

It turns out that you have nothing to worry about.

Estrid who had come before you with your things is there to greet you. A few others of the palace staff come to see you and you're welcome back with fondness.

Because you know you have to play the part, you look for him.

"His Majesty had a sudden summons from the Lady Sif and the Warriors Three, my Queen. He apologizes for missing your arrival but he's had the small dining room filled with all of your favorites.

"When you are finished with dinner, he has asked that you wait for him in his study."

Estrid's tone tells you she's wary for you. She wants to make sure you're okay.

The disappointment you feel gives you away not only to yourself, but everyone there to see your face fall as you caress your belly.

"A blessing in disguise?" Loki suggests in your ear for just you, but the smile on his lips says he knows better.

"He'll be back before it gets too late, Your Majesty," Estrid assures you, trying to soothe your sadness. "He promised. There’s nothing more he wants than to see you."

"I know," you smile at her, then the others before you head for the dining room, your stomach grumbling in anticipation of the foods you know are waiting.

~~~~~~~~~~

Waiting is torture. You keep trying to read your book but your attention is pulled back to the door of Thor’s study every few seconds.

You groan, dropping the book onto the desk before throwing your head back with scrunched up eyes.

How is it possible to be desperate to see someone while also dreading it?

It feels like you'll die if you don't lay eyes on Thor but also like it'll tear you to shreds if you do. There's no winning here.

You gasp as the door opens and get to your feet in the same breath.

Thor's body is rising and falling heavily with his own labored breathing. He'd been running.

To get to you? No. You can't be swayed.

"I'm here."

His declaration is soft but heavy with meaning. More than just him announcing his arrival.

"Oh, aren't you a vision," he gushes.

"Hi," you whisper, only because you can't catch your breath.

He's wearing jeans, a plain black t-shirt stretched across his bulging chest. He's even more massive than you remember. Three months away has deprived you so fully that suddenly being in his presence leaves you hungry for him.

You want him so much.

"I've missed you, desperately," he confesses. "May I greet you properly?"

You frown, so undecided.

"Or not," Thor relents. "Forgive me, I just got caught up in the moment."

Why is this so hard?

You want to feel him.

"You can greet our baby properly," you give in.

A big part of you needs to feel him and this is the only way you can give in and feel like you're still doing your best to hold strong in your resolve to get some distance.

Thor’s eye lights up and quickly finds the swell of your tummy with recognition.

"Really?"

"I will never keep you from our baby, Thor. Even if I'm not ready for things to go back to normal between us just yet."

Thor takes a half step towards you and watches you carefully for any indication that you're not comfortable with his proximity.

You sigh, head tilted to the left slightly before you hold out your hand to him, beckoning him closer.

In three long strides Thor takes your hand and stops when he's only a foot away.

"Here," you gasp.

Your heart is in overdrive. Thor’s touch is doing things to your body. There's an initial rush of butterflies in your stomach and quickly you pull Thor’s hands to the spots where your baby is kicking in response.

Thor’s body freezes. He goes rigid. He even stops breathing.

For a moment you begin to worry that maybe you've broken him, until he suddenly drops to his knees.

He swallows hard, eyes pooling as he stares at the swell of your stomach as the baby continues to kick.

“They’re really in there,” he’s so choked up about it that his voice cracks around the words.

As he speaks, the baby kicks more.

Thor laughs but then leans in to kiss your stomach over the fabric of your dress.

“We really made her,” Thor gushes.

“Her?”

He looks up at you, confused for a second before he smiles wide, “Or him. It doesn’t matter. What matters is our baby is coming.”

Your heart swells, and you’re so happy that you could float away like a hot air balloon with the warmth flooding your limbs.

This is the moment you’d dreamt of. This is the moment that had been stolen from you by Jane and her lies. This is the moment that you and Thor had both been yearning for.

He’s so caught up in it, floating through the glow of this perfect moment that he presses his lips to your tummy again two more times before he’s rising, his hand hooked behind your neck as he meets your lips as he gets to his feet.

You’re so unprepared for it, so utterly lost in this sweet exchange between him and your baby that your lips pucker on their own.

He opens his eye and yours, already open, stare into his. He looks slightly shocked to find himself kissing you but he doesn’t stop.

Instead, his expression shifts into a pained look of desire. He pulls back, his hand dropping to grip your bicep.

“I would say that I’m sorry but I have been wanting to kiss you since the moment I left you three months ago.”

You say nothing, watching him, listening. You’re searching your soul to see if this is okay with you because it feels okay. Despite the sirens blaring in your mind about the restrictions you’d set for yourself when you’d decided to come back home, your body is telling you it needs this. Your heart is painfully aching at Thor’s touch.

You’ve missed it. You’ve missed him.

“Is this alright? I can go.”

The idea of him going now feels like the end of the world. Rationally, you know that isn’t an appropriate response to his offering to leave you be, especially when you know you asked him for space for specific reasons.

“No,” your hands grip the sides of his t-shirt tightly, holding him in place without any actual strength since compared to him, you’re as mighty as a little mouse.

You refuse to look up at him, despite the crumbling of your resolve.

“No, don’t go.”

It’s an almost involuntary shy response to your diminishing shame at losing all control after his touch. After one kiss. You should be disappointed in yourself. And part of you is. However, that part of you grows increasingly small as Thor gently takes hold of your chin and guides your gaze up until you can meet his.

“I’m sorry, cherub. I will try and be worthy of you again.”

“I know,” you admit, knowing how sorry he’s been from the moment he realized that he’d done something that hurt you badly. “I know you are.”

“Can I kiss you, cherub?”

His voice is so deep, so alluring and coaxing that you drop your gaze again, fixing it on his collarbone before slowly you nod.

His arm winds its way around your waist and he pulls you to him before dipping down and catching your lips with his again.

He pulls away after a second because the swell of your belly gets in the way, but he laughs and looks down at it.

The pleasant sound of his happiness gives you too much joy.

As you begin to smile, Thor reaches down to press one hand to the side of your stomach while he pulls you against him again and kisses you this time with more fervor.

The longer he has his lips pressed to yours, the more enthusiastic he gets until finally you’re breathless and you pull back but instead of pulling away, you wrap your arms around him and fist the back of his t-shirt,

You bury your face against his wide chest and Thor brings his hands back up to caress the sides of your face, his lips kissing the top of your head.

“I know I may not have a right to say this, but thank you for coming home. Thank you for coming back to me. I thought I’d lost you."

His arms grow a little tighter, his heart is in an absolute stampede.

You turn your head sideways so that you can listen to his heartbeat.

"This is what I'd wanted," you whimper, starting to be overcome with the emotion of being reunited with Thor and things falling into place more easily. "This is how I'd wanted us to share this moment."

Thor sighs heavily, giving you one more squeeze before he pushes you back a little so that he can look at you.

“I’m so sorry that I robbed you of that. I was a fool,” he nods, his eye intense as he stares into yours with wordless declarations piercing into you.

The memory of your speech with the people when you arrived pops into your head and now with Thor’s arms around you it all feels a little like an overreaction. The past three months feels like a distant nightmare.

Or does this feel like a dream?

“Thor,” you begin but Thor’s lips are on you again, drowning out your words.

“Oh, to hear you say my name,” he declares and kisses you again.

Your mouth opens for him and you absolutely melt against his chest as he nearly dips you in passion.

He pulls back again, “Is this real?”

He kisses you.

“You feel so good in my arms.”

He kisses you.

“Your skin is so…” but then he hums and kisses you.

He dips down and with his arms tight around your waist but also careful with the swell of your stomach, he lifts you so that you’re level with his eye.

“I love you, so much, my cherub. Thank you, thank you for coming home. Thank you.”

“I’m sorry I stayed away,” you sigh. “I need to be strong without you, Thor. I was hurt but I never stopped loving you.”

His face goes through shame, understanding, and then elation.

In a burst of subdued anger and aggression for what he put you through, you reach up and grab his shoulder. You dig your fingers in against the taut muscle then reach up to pull one of his ears.

You’re clearly not hurting him but he allows you to move his head, understanding the need to express your anger even if you’re not doing any damage.

“Never do that to me again,” you growl. “Never say that you’ll leave me. Why would you say that? Even in passing? You were so damn sure.”

“No, Y/N, I wasn’t. The moment I saw you, I knew that I could never leave you. I’m sorry. I could never even think those thoughts again.”

“You better not, or I won’t come back next time. I’ll disappear and you’ll never see me again.”

Thor takes your threat for what it is. A promise. Truth.

He shakes his head as he leans forward to press his forehead to yours, shutting his eye.

“I swear,” he begins. “On my life.”

He keeps you there, hovering over the ground with your heads together for a few minutes before he slowly lowers you to the ground. You realize it’s because he wants to stroke your belly and you take a slight step back so that he can.

He smiles, happy. It reminds you of the look your people had when you’d arrived only a hundred times as possessive and joyful.

Again, your speech intrudes on your reunion and this time, you won’t let him distract you.

“Thor,” you coax, placing your hands over his where they rest on the sides of your stomach.

“Yes, my cherub?”

He’s excessive in the affection he puts in his voice but you know that he must be floating on cloud nine after what you both went through when you made him leave you at your house.

“I-I did something and I’m not sure if it was right of me to do it,” you watch his brow wrinkle and for a split second you almost lose yourself in the beauty of his face.

Has he always been this handsome?

“When I got back I kinda made a speech? Everyone was so happy to see me and to see me carrying our heir and I wanted to apologize to them for leaving and for making them worry. I wanted to share in their excitement for the baby and with that stupid tabloid having come out yesterday-”

“Right, the article,” there’s guilt in his voice despite there being no truth to the rumors it printed.

“I wanted to put their minds at ease and I...I did confirm that something happened with Jane but not what they were thinking.”

Thor’s expression hardens just a tad and he pulls backs towards a large armchair. He grabs your hand though and pulls you along with him until he can sit and then carefully attempts to offer you his lap, unsure if you’ll sit.

You do, because you’re tired and because you’re not eager to be away from him again. Now that you’re touching him, you’re not in a hurry to change that again.

“What did you say exactly?”

Swallowing hard, you lick your lips nervously, “Um...I told them the truth. Not exactly the truth, but enough of it that they’ll understand that Jane isn’t welcome here. I said that the only reason I left is for my health and the health of the baby, which is true. I didn’t want them to worry about us because even if we didn’t reconcile, I want us to be united for them at least.

“But I don’t trust Jane, Thor. Not after what she did. Not after how she treated me when you weren’t looking, and the people need to know that I will protect them from anyone, no matter who they are to you or me.”

Thor’s face grows pained as you speak, his arm wrapping around your waist as his other hand caresses the side of your stomach. You’re starting to realize that it’s going to be hard to get his hands off it, but that doesn’t seem like a terrible problem.

“I wish you had told me that she’d been rude to you,” Thor sighs, taking his hand off of his stomach to stroke your cheek. “If I had known-”

“She wasn’t rude to me Thor, she dismissed me. I wasn’t even worth acknowledging to her and now I know it’s because she was jealous and wanted you back because what? She saw what we had together and suddenly it was good enough for her?

“I was in her way. That’s all I was. Even if in the end she couldn’t go through with it whether it was because she felt guilty for doing this to us or for lying or for having second thoughts and knowing that she doesn’t want to be Queen or a mom, she’s a bad person to me. And I have every right to protect myself, my baby, and our marriage from her. She’s not welcome here Thor. I never want to see her again. Ever.”

He’s cradling you now, holding you close because the intensity with which you're telling him that Jane is not welcome in your home is transferring to him.

“And if you’d known, you wouldn’t have done anything, Thor. You’d probably have talked to her and asked her what was going on and she would have lied to you and you would have believed her.”

He doesn’t deny it. He does look like it hurts him to know that you know though. That’s enough for you.

“I think it took her lying and doing this to us to make you see what she’s capable of.”

Thor shuts his eye, resting his head against your chest as he wraps his arms around you again.

“I’m sorry.”

“I know you are, Thor. But you weren’t the one who lied. I mean, you didn’t tell me what was happening, but you weren’t the reason that this happened. If Jane hadn’t lied-”

“But she did,” Thor says, his deep voice anguished. “And I failed to honor my vows. You are my Queen and I should have come to you the moment she told me she was pregnant.”

You both fall into silence as you reach over to stroke his bicep. His skin is so soft. Touching it gives you comfort in a way you weren’t aware you needed. The more you touch it the more you need to feel it.

A finger stroking his skin turns into two, then four, then your entire hand is running up under the sleeve of his t-shirt.

With the way his hand curls around your thigh, you know that both your bodies are responding to your touch. Both of you are heated but instead of giving into that because you aren’t ready for that yet, you lay your head on his shoulder and curl in closer to his chest.

Thor sighs heavily, wrapping you up in his arms as he cradles you close.

“Now we know better,” you whisper.

“Now I know what losing you will do to me,” Thor agrees. “I’ve missed you so much, cherub.”

You don’t respond. You’re too choked up to say anything without your voice cracking so both of you stay like that for a while.

The cocoon of Thor’s arms is toasty and from the exhaustion you’re feeling plus all of the emotions that have drained you, your eyes are heavy and difficult to keep open.

“What about you?”

Thor’s chest rumbles with a chuckle.

“We can talk more tomorrow, cherub. Sleep.”

“I’m not sleepy,” you lie.

“Very well, then. What about me?”

“You’re sleepy?” you look up at him, full of concern.

He chuckles again, “No, cherub. What were you asking?”

“Oh! I just wanted to know if you’re okay. What Jane did to you can’t have been easy. Despite what she did to us as a couple, she said she was pregnant. You’ve been wanting a baby for so long and she dangled that in front of you like the rat that she is. And then she wasn’t even pregnant?”

Thor’s arms constrict around you as he pulls you up towards him to kiss you.

It’s slow and full of emotion.

“Even after all of that, you’re still worried about me?”

“It took time,” you admit. “Once I wasn’t so angry and I thought about what Jane really did. I hate the idea that your heart broke over her lies. I can’t believe she ever loved you if she was willing to make you feel that way.”

Thor just stares at you, searching your eyes before he rubs his nose gently against your own. When he speaks, his voice is so low, so deep, an intimate whisper. It burrows into your chest and settles right there underneath your ribs and makes you breathless with missing him and desire.

“That’s why you’re my Queen, Y/N. And she is not.”

You’re not sure if it’s an Asgardian ability or if maybe it’s something specific to Thor, but he has a way of making you swoon.

“I missed you so much,” he confesses again, that whisper sinful. “Did you not miss me?”

You nod because you can’t speak. There’s a lump in your throat made of both sadness and want.

“Was your bed as frigid as mine was in your absence? Did you miss my breath on your neck as I did yours? Or the steady beat of your heart when you pressed your breast to my back as you held me while I slept?”

Fuck, he’s making this so impossible.

“I hate you so much,” you counter, but his lips stretch into a small knowing smile as you take a tight hold of the neck of his shirt and pull him up to meet your lips.

He exhales heavily into you, tasting you, relishing in every pulsating touch as both your hearts ache and yearn almost in disbelief as if both of you can’t believe that these wants, these needs are finally being met.

As he pulls back to tilt his head the other way, he takes hold of the sides of your face again, his lips grazing yours, “I love you.”

Before you can reply or yank him back into that torturous yet blissful kiss, a voice at the doorway clears their throat.

“Well, that was fast, what happened to keeping him at a distance?”

Loki’s voice pulls your gaze and you can feel your cheeks and neck burn at how easily it seems you’ve crumbled when finally face to face with Thor.

You frown at your brother-in-law, while Thor ignores his brother and leans up to press very non-chaste kisses to your neck, “I told you coming back was a bad idea.”

But Loki’s smile is blinding and with one chuckle he backs out of the room, shutting the door quietly as Thor turns you back to him so that he can get back to kissing you.

#king!thor x reader #thor x reader #arranged marriage au #royal au #a wife for thor #king!thor x reader fanfiction #king!thor x reader fanfic #king!thor x reader fic #king!thor x you #thor x reader fanfiction #thor x reader fanfic #thor x reader fic #thor x you #marvel fanfiction #marvel au #a wife for thor pt22

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backtobackbakubabe · 3 years

Text

Speak Easy Part 13

Dabi x Reader , Bakugo x Reader

Words : 3125

Masterlist

Reader has a siren quirk and has spent the past several years of her life as a captive being experimented on by “heroes” Now that she’s out she needs protection and safe place to heal. Who will be the one to put her pieces back together.

Words with ‘this’ is dialogue written in her journal rather than said out loud and and words with ~this~ is dialogue said in sign language rather than out loud.

********************************************************************

You watched as Dabi paced in front of you as you hugged your knees to your chest. Shoto had come to sit next to you and you were grateful for his calming presence. He kept giving you a weird look and then looking at his brother. He obviously wanted to ask what was going on between the two of you, but you mouthed, “later” at him and he shrugged it off.

“Ok. So what? He has a list of my safe houses. That’s okay… That’s arguably a good thing actually.” Dabi was thinking out loud trying, and even though his voice sounded calm, you could see the way his hands balled into fists so tight his staples were pulling.

“No one knows about this place. This is the safest house out of all of them. I bought it after I left the League, it’s in the middle of nowhere, and the security is the best money can buy.” He stopped his pacing and looked at his brother, “So…”

Shoto draped a lazy arm around you and you released a tense breath you hadn’t realized you were holding. He quirked his head at his older brother, “So…? What? Why is that a good thing?”

Dabi’s eyes got this scary look. They practically glowed and you could tell whatever he was thinking probably wasn’t good. “It means we can pick them off. Set up traps for them at my other safe houses. It might take some time… we won’t know what houses they’re targeting so at first it’ll be a lot of guess work.” You could see a scheme hatching behind his eyes and for once he truly looked like a villain. “You said Bakugo was already out looking for them, right? I can meet up with him! They’re my houses after all, no one knows them better than me.”

He took off towards the bedroom mumbling something about needing to pack. Your wide eyes connected with Shoto’s, “How long before he remembers he’d have to leave me behind and panics?”

Shoto hummed, “I’d say about thirty seconds after he’s done packing.” He shrugged, “It’s not a bad plan honestly. I see he’s gotten rather attached to you lately though.”

You could hear the unspoken question and you weren’t sure you were ready to jump into that conversation just yet. It was bad enough that Katsuki knew. You shrugged and averted your eyes back to the door Dabi had disappeared behind. “We’ve gotten pretty close. You learn a lot about someone when you’re stuck in a house with them.”

“SHIT!”

Shoto sighed, “Sounds like he just remembered.”

Dabi stomped back into the living room and stopped a few feet in front of you. His stare was intense almost like he was trying to see through you. You could see his frustration growing as he battelled internally over what he should do. “I can’t leave you here by yourself… I don’t want to leave you at all. But- But I can’t take you with me either.” You could see his mind running a mile a minute trying to come up with a solution.

“You can leave me here, I’m not totally useless. I have the collar, so you can call me, check on my location and vitals and all that creepy shit.” You gestured to the younger Todoroki sitting next to you, “And I’m sure your brother and Izuku are dying to have some time to catch up. They can keep me company. Kiri too if need be.”

Dabi kneeled in front of you and laid his arms on either side of you, caging you in. “It would drive me insane leaving you here.”

You brushed your thumb over the spot between his eyes, smoothing out his worried expression. “More insane than if you stayed here and let Katsuki handle this on his own?”

His body sagged and he leaned his forehead onto your shoulder. “If I didn’t know better, I’d say it sounds like you want me to go.”

You leaned your head on his. “Of course I don’t want you to go idiot. But I hate to break it to you, I know you pretty well… And I don’t think sitting here day after day listening to you complain about how you could do it better, sounds like fun.” He groaned because he knew you were right. “So, go ahead and go. I’ll be fine here I promise. Go catch some bad guys with Katsuki.”

“Ugh don’t say it like that. You make is sound like a cheesy buddy cop movie. I just hope your little hero friend isn’t squeamish because I’m not going to hold back.”

Shoto cleared his throat, “Some of us… little heroes… have seen enough shit to last a lifetime. Bakugo’s the hardest working and grittiest out of us all, so believe me when I say you don’t need to worry about him.”

Dabi narrowed his eyes at his brother who he had just realized was practically cuddling with you. “Seeing death and dealing it out are two different things. I know he’s capable of killing someone, but mentally I don’t think he could cross that line.” He held a hand up to stop Shoto from arguing with him. “And I don’t care if he doesn’t want to get his precious hero hands dirty. Because that’s what I’m here for, and I’m honestly looking forward to it.”

You huffed, “Listen, I really don’t like the look you get when you talk about killing people. It’s sick… killing isn’t supposed to be fun you psychopath.”

His eyes shifted back to yours, “Baby girl. I want to make something clear. I will find the sick fucks that kidnapped you. I will torture them in the most painful and humiliating ways possible. By the time I’m done… they will welcome death with open arms. I’ll be doing them a favor.” His forehead pressed against yours. “Unless you’d rather I save them for you…My destroyer of men.”

You hit his shoulder, “I’d rather you let Katsuki arrest them! You know how I feel about killing villains.”

His hand gripped the back of your neck hard to force you to look at him, “…No. You know I can’t do that. The sooner you accept that, the easier all of this will be.” His thumb rubbed your cheek, “I know it sucks. But this is the world you live in now. We can’t trust anyone but ourselves.”

Shoto cleared his throat, “Listen I don’t know what is going on between the two of you, but I would appreciate it if you refrained from being kinky in my presence.”

Dabi growled, “Fuck off! You literally let yourself in unannounced… When all of this over I swear we’re leaving the fucking country. I’m so sick of you brats just coming over whenever you feel like it. We’re gonna leave and you’ll never see us again.”

Shoto quirked an eyebrow, “So… Even after all of this is resolved… you plan to still live with y/n?” You could see the gears turning in his head as he pieced all of this together. “Hmm interesting.” He got up and stretched. “Well I guess I’ll give you guys some alone time to… do whatever this is… just without me having to witness it.”

“Hey before you go… You sure you’re okay with keeping an eye on her while I’m gone?” You hadn’t heard Dabi sound so uncertain before. Usually he carried so much confidence that it was overwhelming. But now he sounded lost.

Shoto nodded, “Yeah it’s not a big deal. Izuku and I can take shifts. Kirishima will probably take over every now and then depending on how long you are gone… But we don’t mind. Y/n was right when she said we’d like to catch up with her.” He gave you an awkward wink that was completely out of character for him. “You’ve been hoarding her all to yourself for months now.” He walked down the hall and shouted, “Try not to be too loud. I’ll just pick the room that smells the least like sex.”

“Good luck! I’ve fucked her on every surface of the hou—” You slammed a hand over Dabi’s mouth to cut him off.

You hid your face in Dabi’s shoulder to stifle your laugh. “I love your brother so much. He has no filter and it’s honestly so refreshing.”

A quick slap to your thigh had you gasping, “I don’t appreciate you talking about my brother that way.” He nipped at your earlobe harshly, “Especially after I just agreed to let him stay here while I’m gone.”

Before you could respond he was standing up and throwing you over his shoulder, “I think I need to remind you who you fucking belong to.” He slapped your ass as you shrieked, “I might be gone for a while, so I think I need to give you something to remember.”

“You are so ridiculous! He’s literally in a committed relationship with another man!”

Dabi tossed you onto his bed and immediately fell on top of you. “He’s also my brother and I know that slut swings both ways.” He bit down hard on your shoulder, “I’m going to leave my fucking mark all over you before I go.” He sucked a bruise into your neck, “Tonight… I’m going to claim every fucking inch of you.”

He had you naked underneath him within seconds, kissing down the column of your neck. He continued down to suck a nipple into his mouth and you had to bite down on your lip to keep from screaming.

“Come on baby, let him hear you. Let him hear how good I treat you. Let him know that there is only one Todoroki for you.”

You wanted to argue with him. There was no way Shoto was interested in you at all. He’d been in love with Izuku since high school. But you were also enjoying the way Dabi was marking his territory. There was something so peaceful about giving up control to another person, especially someone you trust.

You let him kiss and suck and grope every part of you. In this moment you were his to do with as he wished. You didn’t care he was leaving mark after mark on your skin. He was claiming you, he was daring others to lay a finger on what it is his. And you fucking loved it. You loved the peace and the comfort that came with the idea of him declaring that you are his. The security of knowing he wouldn’t let another soul touch you.

He bit harshly into your inner thigh, making you yelp and buck your hips.

He chuckled darkly as he came back up and rubbed his nose against yours. “Baby girl, just look at your face. I haven’t even touched your pussy yet and you already looked so fucked out.” He dragged his fingers lightly over your stomach, across your ribs, over your breast, and finally let them settle on your neck.

You shivered and closed your eyes, “Dabiiii, stop teasing me.”

His fingers tightened around your throat. “You said some shit earlier that really got under my skin. And now I can’t decide if I should punish you or not.”

Your head spun as it tried to think about what you possibly could have said to upset him. “What – what did I say?”

Dabi leaned in sucking your bottom lip into his mouth before biting down hard. “You said…. You loved my brother.”

Your heart pounded in your chest and you felt an intense heart overwhelm your face and neck. Was he saying what you thought he was saying? Was he jealous? Did he want you to say you loved him? Is that really what he wanted to hear?

You hadn’t noticed him pulling his own pants down until he was thrusting into you. “I’m a selfish man y/n. I’m greedy. I don’t share. And hearing those sweet little words said about someone else.” His hips snapped into yours harder, as his fingers got even tighter around your neck to the point where you were sure there would be bruises.

His pace picked up and you could feel the sweat dripping from his forehead, “I wanna hear you say it. Who do you love?”

Your eyes rolled back as you croaked out a horse “you”

“That’s not good enough doll. I said! WHO do you FUCKIN LOVE?”

His fingers let go of your throat and as intense pleasure washed over you, leaving your legs shaking, “YOU!”

He fucked you through your orgasm before he followed right behind you, “That’s what I fuckin thought.”

He only parted with you long enough to clean the two of you up. He wandered to the bathroom to get a warm, wet towel. You hummed contently as rubbed it all over your body, especially over the sore new marks he had made on your skin. When he was satisfied, he tossed the rag to the floor to deal with later and rejoined you in bed. He pulled you to him, your back to his chest, and let out a huge sigh. “I’m really nervous about leaving you here. And it honestly makes me angry. I’ve never cared about another person like this, hell I’ve never even cared about my own well being this much.” You could feel him resting his chin on your shoulder, “It makes me feel weak and I hate it.”

You intertwined your fingers with his that were wrapped around your middle. “You know what they say about bravery right? Bravery isn’t not being scared. Only stupid people aren’t scared of anything. Bravery is being scared of something and doing it anyway.” You sank further into his embrace. “If it makes you feel any better, I’m scared too. Which is equally as frustrating.”

You could feel him kiss your shoulder, encouraging you to continue. “I used to be incredibly independent. I lived alone, I worked alone, because of the classified nature of my job I was pretty isolated. I didn’t need anyone, and I was more than happy to get shit done on my own…Now the thought doing anything without you gives me anxiety.”

He sighed, “If anything that makes me feel worse… I believe we have a classic case of codependency… it’s your fault by the way. For sucking me in to your annoyingly needy arms.”

“Says the guy who has his arms currently wrapped around me like a vice.” You wanted to stay in this sweet moment. He was never this open with you, never this soft. “And even though it’s not my fault, I will admit that I did kind of need you for everything when I first got here.” You felt his chest rumble with silent laughter. “But you never really complained, did you? To be honest I had thought you would have been… I don’t know… a little more… cold I guess.”

His hands heated up as they rubbed circles into your stomach. “To anyone else I definitely would have been.” He turned you around so he could pull your chest to his and rolled onto his back, tucking your head under his chin. “I was fucking toast the second you fell into my arms though.” He groaned, “UGH! I sound like such a pussy. I hate it.”

You pressed several kisses to his chest, “Well I don’t hate it.”

There was a long stretch of silence in which the two of you just held each other, not wanting to burst your bubble.

Dabi cleared his throat and you knew he wanted to talk about it. “Listen… While I’m gone all of the laws are still valid. You still need to take care of yourself. Just because I’m not here to force you to eat lunch doesn’t mean you don’t have to.” His fingers rubbed up and down your spine. “I’m sure if you ask the guys, they’ll work out with you, but they need to keep their filthy hands to themselves.” His hand stopped at your collar, “And as much I hate saying this. Don’t call me.”

You lifted your head and gave him a confused look, “What? You worried your side chicks will hear?”

He reached down and slapped your ass, “Shut up. I literally live with you and we never leave the house. That jokes not even funny.” His hand started to rub the same spot he had just slapped, “I’m being serious though. I don’t want you to call me. If something happens and they get my phone, or hell if they somehow capture me, I don’t want anything tying me to you. Shigaraki suspects you’re with me otherwise he wouldn’t be going through my safe houses. But he doesn’t know you’re with me, and I want to keep it that way.” His voice got quitter as he mumbled into your hair, “Besides… I think if I heard your voice I’d give up and come home.”

You froze, “Okay, that is officially the softest thing you’ve ever said to me… and I love it.”

He growled low in your ear, “That’s it, I’m going to start calling you whore, and making you call me sir. I’m losing my damn edge.”

You just giggled, knowing he was bluffing, but then again… he did get you a collar.

“I’m going to miss you… sir.”

“I’m gonna miss you too… my special little whore.”

You sarcastically beamed at him, “Aww you think I’m special?”

That night, you barley slept. You were so worried he’d leave without waking you up to say bye. So, as a consequence you woke up several times throughout the night and every time, he’d pull you closer and mumble a sleepy “still here.”

When morning finally came you sat on the bed with your kneed tucked under your chin as you watched him finish getting ready. Your eyes followed him as he walked around the room, taking his time. He knew the sooner he got dressed the sooner he’d have to leave.

Finally, when he had no other choice, he laced his boots up and looked at you. “Come here…” He held his arms out to you and you quickly slid into his embrace. “You be a good girl while I’m gone, okay?” He kissed the top of your head. “Listen to Shoto and try not to give him too much shit. Follow the laws, don’t watch any of our shows while I’m gone, if there’s any big emergencies have one of the guys call Bakugo.”

You nodded and looked up into his bright blue eyes, “You be safe, and don’t do anything stupid. Come back preferably in one piece please.”

He chuckled, “I will do my best doll.”

************

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itsallyscorner · 3 years

Text

Baby Mix → Baby Holland

The sequel to Baby Mix

Pairing: Little Mix member!reader x Tom Holland

Summary: The youngest member of Little Mix has something to reveal after not seeing the girls for months.

A/n: Set in Corona times, I know London lifted their lockdown restrictions for a while then initiated them again after. But anyway, this is set around that time when lockdown rules were lifted. I had so much fun writing this! I hope you all enjoy it🥰

You felt a rush of excitement and nervousness through your veins as you walked around your home, making sure every corner was clean. You entered the dining room and double checked each plate, checking to see if they all had the essential utensils, a napkin, and a wine glass. You trusted Tom to set up the table, but today was a big day and you wanted to make sure everything was perfect.

“Darling, you don’t need to triple check everything in the house. Nothing’s moved since the last you’ve looked at it.” Tom teases you as he enters the dining room from the kitchen. He wore a tight black shirt, the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, with dark blue jeans. During the time in lockdown, his hair has grown out and he’s been working on his facial hair. You smiled at the 5 o’clock shadow that graced his face; it’s been known that he took forever to grow out facial hair, so to see that there was some light stubble on his face made him really happy. He was very proud of it.

“You look extremely hot right now.” You comment, meeting him in the middle of the room. His hands instantly place themselves at your waist, before one hand moves to rest on your growing stomach and the other on the small of your back.

“Is that the hormones talking?” He squints his eyes playfully at you. You gently shove him, only for him to pull you back closer into his chest. “No? I mean you always look good in whatever you wear. But it could possibly be the hormones?” You ramble.

Tom chuckles, his eyes gazing at you like you’re the only woman in the world. Well technically, you are the only woman in his world; besides his mum and grandma of course. But you were it for him, he wanted nobody else but you. Sure, you guys weren’t married, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t committed to you. The baby might’ve came before the wedding, but he will marry you one day.

“How are you feeling?” He asks you, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. Ever since the two of you have discovered you were pregnant, the morning sicknesses have gotten worse and worse. You were really hoping you’d be one of those lucky mothers who wouldn’t experience morning sickness, but with your luck it never happened. This morning you stumbled out the bed and into the toilet; today’s puke was probably the most horrible one this week, as gross as that sounds. Tom was behind you in an instant, tying your hair into a ponytail and rubbing soothing circles onto your back. It pained him to see you like this, he couldn’t do anything but hold your hair back, help you get your puke out, and whisper comforting things into your ear. He considered on canceling today’s event after you cleaned yourself up in the bathroom and snuggled back into the sheets, eyes red and puffy. Though when he mentioned on canceling, you declined immediately. You had both been anticipating today and you weren’t going to let some morning sickness postpone such a special event.

He looked at you concerned, scanning your face for any discomfort. Your lips quirk up to a fond smile as you kiss the worry away from him, “I’m doing much better than this morning, we’re both doing good.”

“That’s great, that’s all that matters to me right now.” He responds, pulling you into a hug. One thing you’ve noticed about Tom and your pregnancy was that he was very touchy and protective. Though he was already like that, it seemed like the pregnancy intensified his protectiveness, or just him in general. He was very alert of his surroundings, making sure everything was clean, that you were always comfortable, and that you weren’t experiencing any pain from the pregnancy. He was dedicated to making sure you were treated like a princess, you and your baby.

“You’ve got everything handled just in case they all come early right? I’m gonna head up and get dressed.” You pull away to look at him.

He nods at you, ensuring that he had everything under control, “Yeah, I’ve got it.” He pecks your lips before you pull away and head for the stairs. He watches your figure go up the stairs, just in case you trip or something, he would be there to catch you. When he sees you round the corner safely he yells, “Just give me a shout when you need something!”

He hears a faint “I know!” from upstairs and the sound of a door closing. He took that as his sign to get back in the kitchen and continue cooking. With the help from Sam, over FaceTime, Tom was able to get around the kitchen and make some proper food for your guests

~⏰~

You take one last look at yourself in the mirror. You wore leggings and an oversized knitted sweater that hid your small bump. You had light make up on, not bothering to put much since it was just the girls and you were all just having a casual lunch. You could already hear the commotion downstairs, Jesy’s contagious laughter, hints of Perrie and Jade’s voices, and Leigh-Anne gushing over some decorative piece in your house. You take a deep breath, preparing yourself to give them all the good news. In fact, they’re one of the first ones that will get to know about your and Tom’s secret. Your family and Tom’s being the first to find out the moment you both left the doctor’s office. The girls deserved to be part of the group who found out first, they were like your older sisters and have always been there for you since you’ve known them. They’re basically family.

You giddily head down the stairs with delight as the girls finally come onto view. Perrie screams, throwing herself off the couch and pulling you into a hug. You were stunned by the sudden force, though you tightly wrapped your arms around her, careful to not press your stomach against her.

“Oh! I’ve missed you so so much! It’s been so long, I hate being away from you all for months.” Perrie cried, pressing kisses onto your face. You laughed trying to dodger her.

“Let me smother you with love, I haven’t seen you in so long!” Perrie objected, hugging you one more time. “I miss you too, Pez.” You giggled kissing her cheek.

Jesy comes from behind Perrie and detaches her from you, “Babe, you look beautiful! You’re glowing, look at you!” Jesy cupped your cheeks then wrapped her arms around you.

“Oh my goodness, let me tell you, I didn’t even realize that was Tom.” She said when you both broke the hug. You burst out laughing, placing a hand on her arm.

“No seriously! I didn’t even know he can grow facial hair? I was expecting to see a boy answer the door not a man!” Jesy admits making you laugh even more at her genuinely shocked face.

“Are you still on about Tom and his beard?” Jade asks as she approaches you, Leigh-Anne right behind her.

“Isn’t it a shocker? I live with a man now.” You joke, wrapping your arms around Jade. She squeals, swaying the two of you side to side.

“Babe, your house is stunning!” Leigh-Anne compliments, hugging you and kissing your cheek. You wave her off, “You literally have a whole mansion. I still don’t understand how we have the same paycheck.”

You all settle in the living room for now, waiting for Tom to call for lunch. You could smell the delicious aroma of whatever Tom was cooking in the kitchen and your stomach couldn’t help but growl. Jesy eyes your stomach, “What’ve you got in your stomach? That sounded like an animal.” For a moment you were caught off guard at the mention of your stomach. You eyes widen for a second as you glance down at where your sweater was bunched up.

“Uh—I’m just really hungry.” You brush off her comment, face getting flustered. Jade playfully shakes her head glancing at the kitchen, “Has Thomas not been feeding you right?”

“No—he’s been absolutely amazing! Spending lockdown with him was a dream.” You answer chuckling. Perrie crosses her arms, “Lucky, I had lockdown with a football player. Do you know how difficult it is to live with one?”

“It couldn’t have been that bad?” Leigh-Anne chimed in, sipping on a glass of wine. Perrie huffs leaning forward in her seat, “I felt like a bloody housewife the whole time. I had to keep restocking my fridge every week because he eats everything—like seriously, our food never lasted till the weekend. Alex kept on eating my snacks that I had to start hiding them from him.”

“Are we not going to talk about how Jade found love during a worldwide pandemic?” Jesy mentions pointing at Jade, who has a teasing smile on her face.

She waves her finger at Jesy, “Nuh uh, we aren’t talking about that yet.” You gasp, “And why not?”

“We’re still getting to know each other, I don’t want to rush into things, ya know?” Jade’s face contorts in thought. “Like we’ve done a virtual date on Zoom and have been texting each other back and forth, we’ll see where it goes.”

“You’ll be fine and you’re taking things slow, you should be familiar with each other first before fully committing.” Leigh-Anne assured her. All eyes fell on Leigh-Anne then down to her left hand.

“HOLD ON—LET ME SEE THE RING IN PERSON!” You yell jumping off the couch to where Leigh-Anne was sitting. You sit beside her and take her left hand admiring the giant diamond on her ring finger.

“I can’t believe you’re engaged, I’m so happy for you Lee.” You gush pulling her into a side hug. She nudges your shoulder, gesturing to Tom, “You might be next.” She winked.

“You know, I think Perrie’s gonna be the next one actually.” You smirk at the blonde who rolls her eyes. “Like what Jade said, we’ll see.” She hums shrugging. Your stomach growls again making Leigh-Anne glance at your stomach.

“Oh my goodness” she laughs, moving to look for Tom. “Tom, is lunch ready yet? Your girlfriend’s stomach keeps growling!” You hear something clang in the kitchen before Tom pops his head out, “Lunch’s ready, I was just waiting for you ladies to wrap up the chit chat.”

You all move to the dining room where Tom had laid out the food. He’s made pasta, with some steak, Caprese salad, and garlic bread. Jesy makes a content sound as she scans the food on the table before taking a seat.

“I must say Tom, I’m quite impressed with the food.” Jesy compliments Tom. A proud smile forms on Tom’s face, his eyes switching between you and Jesy. “You heard that darling? Jesy just complimented me.”

“I know, I heard her Tom.” You laugh patting his chest. He pulls your seat out for you, then sits in the chair on your right side while Jesy was on your left. Across from you three were Perrie, Jade, and Leigh-Anne.

“We could eat now right?” Jade asks while reaching out for the pasta’s serving fork.

“Yeah, yeah, go ahead.” Tom nods his head at the food. You hear a whine behind you distracting you from the delicious food Tom made. Behind your chair was Tessa who tried to nuzzle herself between your and Tom’s chairs. Not only had Tom grown even more protective of you, but so has Tessa. The sweetheart trailed after you everywhere you go, she stayed in the same room you were in and would lay beside your feet. Though Tom was her rightful owner, she would bark at him whenever he got a little too close to you or your stomach. Tom wasn’t going to lie, he did feel upset and envious that his precious princess barely paid him any mind anymore. But to know that she was only doing it to protect you and her future sibling warmed his heart, so he got over it in an instant.

“Tess, no.” Tom softly scolded the dog trying to shoo her away from the table. She only let out more whines making your heart break. You placed a hand on Tom’s, “Just let her stay, she won’t bother anyone.” Tom nods and pats Tessa’s head.

Lunch goes by splendidly, it was full of laughs and catching up with each other’s lives. It was nice to finally be surrounded by your favorite people in the world after months being apart. Everyone enjoyed the food, complimenting Tom on his excellent work and not burning the kitchen down. Wine and drinks were passed around except for you, who stuck with a water and a small amount of soda. Usually you would also be drinking, clinking glasses with Jade as you down your drinks, but thankfully no one had caught on yet.

“Sorry, we’ve all been rambling about our experiences during the lockdown, what about you two? (Y/n)? Tom? You’ve both been quiet about your experience together.” Leigh-Anne apologized shifting the conversation to you and Tom.

“You could leave the shagging parts out, we already know what went down in this poor house.” Jade poked at you, sending an over exaggerated wink your way. You shake your head and turn back to Tom. The two of you share a look, the look, and make a silent agreement that it was time to announce the big news.

“Well we’ve been busy. You know, we’ve both been doing lots of promo. I’ve been promoting my new film and (y/n)‘s promoting the album with you guys.” Tom started, making normal conversation.

“Most of the time was spent resting, we took advantage of the free time before we have to go on tour and he has to go away for filming.” You continue. The girls nod understanding the situation.

“What did you guys do on the daily though?”

“Lots of puzzles!” Tom answers. “We had the typical move nights and shit.”

“We did lots of baking too!” You add glancing at Tom, who nods along with you. “We’ve actually got a bun in the oven right now!” You say, emphasizing your words. Leigh-Anne and Jesy share a look instantly catching on. Jade’s mouth gapes, her hand holding the wine glass going limp.

“After all this time! Thomas, it’s probably burning by now, shouldn’t you go and check on it?” Perrie scolds, turning back to the kitchen to catch a peek at the oven. She looks excitedly at you two, “What kind of bun have you guys made?”

Jesy’s eyes pan over to Perrie in disbelief, it was like the salad in the box situation all over again. Leigh-Anne holds her palm up to her mouth as the news sinks in. Jade swats Perrie’s arm, “A human one!”

Perrie’s eyes widen in fear, “A human bun? Like cannibalism?” Tom made a sound of confusion, his brows furrowing at her. You stifle a laugh behind your hand as you wait for Perrie to realize.

“They’re having a baby, Pez!” Jesy yelled making Perrie’s eyes grow in shock. The gears move in her head, “OH! Bun in the oven—BUN IN THE OVEN? You’re pregnant?” She screams shooting out of her chair.

You laugh hiding behind your hands. Jesy grabs onto your wrist, pulling it down, and holding your hand. “Wait, are you actually pregnant? You’re not tricking us?”

You shake you head, a giant smile gracing your lips, eyes getting glossy. “I wouldn’t lie to you guys, you guys are gonna be aunts.” You confirm squeezing Jesy’s hand. She gasps pulling you into a hug. Behind you she reaches a hand and playfully shoves Tom, “As if turning her into you wasn’t enough, you just had to insert yourself into her and make another one of you?”

Tom shrugs, though a smile was also on his face, “Hey, to be fair, you might like this one more than me.” Jesy gets up from her seat and approaches Tom.

“Give me a hug, you div.” She ruffles his hair like an older sister would and wraps her arms around him. Tom chuckles hugging her back.

“I know I give you a lot of shit, but I’m so happy that she ended up with you and not some dickhead. Congrats Tom.” She mutters into his ear, before pulling away from the hug and patting his back. Tom looks at her teary eyed, “Thank you Jes.”

“Wait—no! You’re our baby, you can’t have a baby yet. Stop growing!” Perrie cries coming around the table to engulf you in her arms. This time she was actually crying, tears of joy streaming down her face.

“But Pez, I’m already growing.” You giggle, pulling away from her to lift you knitted sweater up to reveal your small baby bump. The girls gasp, while you and Tom stare proudly at your stomach. Jade and Leigh-Anne join Perrie to hover over your stomach. Jesy looks from over your shoulder, staring at the top of your stomach.

“Can we please touch it?” Leigh-Anne asks quietly, looking up at you and Tom for permission.

“Go ahead.” You assure them. Jesy squeezes your arms, resting her chin on your shoulder. Leigh-Anne, Perrie, and Jade’s hands delicately come into contact with your stretched skin, fascinated by your little bump. Jade pouts as she strokes your belly with her thumb, “Oh, you’re so precious.” She coos.

Perrie rests her palm against your belly, “How far along are you?” You look at Tom over your shoulder, who’s been watching the special moment unfold between you and the girls.

“Four months.” Tom answers, the grin on his face feeling permanent as he talked about his little bean.

“Four months?” Jesy shrieked whipping her head to look at you and Tom.

“Yup, we wanted to tell you guys as soon as we found out but we decided to keep it a little secret for as long as we can.” You explain. “But then my stomach began growing and it’d be obvious, so we decided to tell you guys now since it’s still early.”

“Does anyone else know?” Leigh-Anne asks, hand still resting on your belly.

“Our families know, along with his best mates. But you guys are part of the first few people who know about it.” You reply. Perrie hums softly, cupping your cheek and pressing a kiss onto it.

“You’re the first people I’ve told who aren’t my immediate family.” You laugh. The girls began tearing up again.

“I can’t believe you guys told us.” Jade wipes her eye with the pads of her fingers.

“Why wouldn’t I? You guys are important to me and I love you all so much! You all deserve to know about it before everyone else.” The girls “aww” at you and pull you into a group hug, one of their hands still resting on you belly.

“I can’t believe you’re pregnant, oh my god.” Leigh-Anne expressed, her hand still on your bump.

“It’s hilarious how we were saying you were gonna be the first one to start a family. All of a sudden little missy over here gets knocked up.” Jesy points at Leigh-Anne before giving Tom the stink eye.

“Did they not teach you how to use protection in school?” She playfully teases Tom, back to her usual picking on him. “Or is your pull out game just that weak?” Perrie gasps, covering your belly with both her hands, “Jes! There’s a baby!”

Tom’s mouth drops, his face feigning shock, “You know, I really thought we were having a great moment here, Jes.”

Jesy scoffs, “Moment’s over—have you never heard of ‘Don’t be silly, protect your Willie’?” Everyone pauses before bursting out laughing at Jesy’s comment.

The night ended with the girls making plans of who would be the fun aunt and who would spoil Baby Holland the most. Jesy and Jade debated over being the fun aunt while Perrie and Leigh-Anne tried to outdo each other on who would spoil the baby with the most toys and clothes. Your belly was the main star of the night; the girls occasionally stroking your belly or pressing light little kisses onto it. As you both listened to the girls argue about who would be the baby’s favorite, you and Tom knew that your little baby would be in good hands with four amazing aunts to watch over them.

🦋tags:

*tags with a cross don’t work*

@waxingmoonwrites @slutforsebstan @starslazyandcosy @xkonpinkx @dummiesshort @gypsystuf @kielemarie @wroetospidey @thatgirlangelb @have-aheart @adayasgeorgia @xeniarocks @sarcasticallywitty15 @agustdowney

#marvel #mcu #avengers #Tom Holland #dad!tom holland #dad!tom Holland x reader #tom holland imagines #tom holland x reader #tom holland fluff #tom holland drabble #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland one shot #tom holland headcanon #little mix #perrie edwards #jade thirlwall #jesy nelson #leigh anne pinnock

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writingsbychlo · 3 years

Note

💭

Ayyy Congrats Chlo! Can I get a 💭 of Noah when his girl is pregnant? Like how is he through it snd when she's in labor?

no more requests, the sleepover is over, I'm just finishing up what's in my inbox!

I got so carried away with this

he would be so good by the labour stage

but lets be real, he takes a hot minute to get adjusted

now, don't get me wrong, this was planned

and he is damn excited to be a dad

you've been taking folic acid and vitamin D and all the good stuff

and you were both elated and crying when the test came back positive

but he does take a moment to actually realise what it means

like he did not think that far through, if he's honest

rubbing your back throughout morning sickness

but like, he doesn't quite get it

you have a significantly lowered sex drive

breast tenderness and morning sickness and he is kinda sexually frustrated

it takes him a moment to adjust to that because y'all had been pretty active before, and he has to take care of himself now

not to mention, you're a lot more sleepy

he knew you'd get sleepy, but he expected it to come later, not as early in the pregnancy as the first few weeks

so there's a lot of things that have to be cancelled

like concerts and things

but he was looking forwards to them

and it causes some arguments to begin with

like when he went to the concert with boyd instead

and you'd put a blanket and pillow on the couch for him

or the argument that came with him insisting that he could ride the bike a little longer

and the little strop he gets in when you throw out all the foods on the list your midwife gave you after your first antenatal appointment

"you can't eat them, but I can! why do we have to throw it all out?"

"because you're supposed to be supporting me!"

"I am supporting you, but I still want to eat my food!"

"fine, keep it then!"

and he feels bad two weeks later when you go to game night

and derek and stiles have laid out an awesome looking spread

with charcuterie boards and cheeses and crackers and wine

and he knows how much you love all of that stuff

and you literally can't have any of it

in fact, you brought your own meal, which is a salad and plain crackers and it's not exactly game night material

and so he does some research into food and writes down everything you can and can't have

and he watches a video on best recipes for pregnancy and he makes one for you

a little surprise dinner for when you get home from work

"what's all this?"

"well, you know, your meals look kinda' miserable. but, you're literally growing our child, so you should get to eat nice things, and I googled a good recipe for pregnancy safe meals."

noah getting laid that night

and afterwards, when you're asleep on his chest, he realises how easy it is when he stops thinking it's gonna be a struggle

at around about 7 weeks, you start getting more emotional

crying more at movies and getting mad at random things and being a lot clingier than usual

which he doesn't mind, of course

but it freaks him out sometimes

"noah, what the fuck?" while in tears and he's freaking out because he has no idea how bad he fucked up or what he did "there's a dead bird in the garden, noah, that's got to be some kind of omen, oh my god, what if you die? why would you just die, noah?"

so he cleans up the dead bird

but now you're mad because you're worried about him abandoning you

"baby, if I was gonna' abandon you then why would I have married you, huh?"

and it takes him a hot minute to get used to that too

however, he also learns how to direct it at other people for his own amusement

"hey, baby, did you know that stiles wears socks to bed, even in the summer?"

"you wear socks to sleep in the summer? you're sick, stiles. you're sick. I don't want you near my child, you're weird, you and your socks and your sweaty toes can stay away. you're so gross."

"what the fuck?"

and noah just laughing his ass off about it

you also have to pee a lot more so noah has to take that into account

you're still fully able to go hiking and do the things the two of you love doing

but he has to plan in your pee breaks

not to mention, you're still throwing up every morning

so, he can't plan too much, but he does plan a little weekend getaway for you both

with a privately rented cabin so that you can throw up each morning in peace and don't feel like you're being watched

panicking when you get spotting at week 8

and that really throws you both through a loop

rushing to the hospital and he's unfamiliar with driving your car

so it stresses him out to know he's useless in emergencies

it turns out to be nothing

but noah is pretty sure he's never cried that hard

not to mention, in a public bathroom, just so he didn't scare you

and when he gets home, like, fuck, it's a reality check for him

he starts getting driving lessons

he has a license and all but he's rusty

and he wants to be prepared, so he starts taking lessons

he also starts checking out bigger cars for the two of you

because your little car won't do in a few years

"you know, not that I'm complaining, but I've noticed you aren't wearing bras anymore."

watching your cheeks go fucking warm as you get all embarrassed

"do you wanna go shopping, get some comfier ones?"

"you are gonna go pregnancy bra shopping with me?"

"well, considering how proud I am when I get to go regular bra shopping with you, I think pregnancy bra shopping is the same."

going with you to get tests and scans done

literally crying again when you hear the heartbeat

"we made that, oh my god."

texting everyone he knows when you get your due date estimate

holding your hands when you have to get your pregnancy vaccinations

actually taking notes when the midwife starts talking about making a birthing plan and getting things sorted before you get to the third trimester

and he does a lot of research on birthing plans and starts prepping

going on every shopping trip with you

"I want to get the nursery painted, like, a while before the baby comes. so we can air it out for fumes."

"we can go check samples out this weekend."

"well, I mean, that's soon, like, really?"

"yeah, whatever you want, sunshine."

getting laid again

and when the morning sickness goes away, he starts getting his late morning sleep back

starting to get self-conscious about extra pregnancy weight gain

and noah doing everything he can to reassure you

but as you get into the second trimester, your sex drive suddenly jumps back up

and he fucking loves it

because that's a lot of unprotected sex and a lot of making out and a lot of touching

and honestly, something about it is really turning him on

"baby, I don't know if it's your glow or the fact that I am literally so in love with you, or maybe the months of not having sex, but I've literally never been this hard."

"shut up and fuck me, you can compliment me later."

"'kay."

throughout your second trimester, you get everything done

the nursery gets decorated and the furniture is built and it's perfect

there's only the little touches now, like mobiles and clothes and such

he also bought the new car, and traded yours in

and he arranged for you to get lessons in it too, so you know how to drive a bigger car before you get too pregnant to drive safely

crying the first time the baby moves. so much fucking crying.

and getting so excited every time

it's few and far between in the middle of your second trimester, but it's so meaningful

starting to go to pregnancy classes

and he also signs you both up for a pregnancy exercise class

that is supposedly meant to make labour easier because of the pelvic floor exercises

having a few days where you're nervous around him

thinking he did something wrong

"I think I'm gonna want to take an epidural."

"that's what you've been so worried about?"

"well, yeah. I read all these pamphlets about how it's so controversial and sometimes the dads don't like it, an-"

"I want you to be happy, okay? it's gonna be a happy time, so whatever you want, we'll do, okay? I want you to smile when you look back on the birth of our baby."

"I love you, so damn much."

"I love you so damn much."

finding out the sex of the baby, neither of you wants to wait

telling everyone it's a secret until the baby shower

your bump really starting to come in at the end of the second trimester

as well as headaches and backaches and stretch marks

and noah always making sure to kiss it better

a lot of nice warm baths and washing your hair for you

the baby starts responding to touch and sound, though

noah starts talking to the baby a lot

telling them about your day and rubbing lotion on your stomach

the baby getting hiccups for the first time

in the beginning of the second trimester, you start choosing names

more tears when you settle on a name

the third trimester is where you really start feeling it

you’ve got mood swings, you’ve got backache, and you’re getting a lot of odd cravings

all of which noah indulges for you

some make him gag and he actually cannot watch you eat it

banning food in bed

it caused an argument but he won that one

announcing the gender at your baby shower

you and noah dressing in white while waiting for everyone’s guesses

it’s a girl!

you announced it via a little cake cutting ceremony that was pink inside

using those last few weeks to decorate the nursery with teddies and buy clothes

when you finally go into labour it’s actually while you’re hanging out with stiles and derek

thinking it’s just cramps for a while

because you’ve been having cramps, you think it’s fine

until

“uh, (Y/N), you know I love you, but did you pee on my couch?”

“excuse me, I did not pee on your couch an- oh my god, they’re contractions.”

noah literally choking on his drink

you rubbing his back as he tries to cough it up

panicking so much that his whole fucking birthing plan goes out of the window

“the bag is at home!”

“what about your pillow?”

“fuck! fuck! fuck!”

derek is the only calm one because stiles is;

“HOLY FUCK, IM GONNA BE AN UNCLE, GIMME A NEICE!”

and noah is

“HOLY FUCK, IM GONNA BE A FATHER!”

so derek coordinates it all while you just kinda sit there and watch it all

“okay, well, her contractions are now, like, eight minutes apart, so maybe we should get a move on.”

telling stiles to take you to the hopsital while he takes noah to pick everything up

and off you go

stiles is fucking buzzing the whole way there

calling your hospital to inform them you’re on your way

getting to the hospital and being greeted by your midwife

“lovely to see you again, mom and dad”

“I DIDN’T MAKE THAT.”

“thanks, stiles.” your midwife being confused. “this is the uncle, they’re twins. dad is on his way.”

“I’M THE UNCLE!”

“stop shouting stiles, the baby won’t come out, you’re scaring it back up.”

“sorry.”

stiles holding your hand

noah arriving five minutes later with more than enough stuff

“I didn’t know which pjs you’d want after so I brought options!”

after a good few hours of labour, and noah being there for all of it, your baby is born

literally crashing right after and sleeping for a while

“‘bout fuckin time you woke up, noah won’t let me see my niece ‘til you have. hurry up.”

“I will punch you so hard you’ll be glad you’re in a hospital.”

“that’s my wife”

“sorry.”

meeting your daughter with noah, and having a moment

because he’s put her in a little pink striped onesie and she’s got a baby beanie on

“she’s got your nose.”

“you can’t tell that, she’s like six hours old.”

“i can hope.”

finally taking her to meet stiles who practically dies on the spot

he cries a lot when he finally gets to hold his niece

“stiles, derek, meet ‘hope claudia stilinski’.”

#9ksleepover #hope stilinski is like emma rapp #i made a new baby character #she’s my new au character pls #i love her #don’t steal her

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black-rose-writings · 3 years

Text

Reading Siege and Storm because I hate myself

To begin, I’d like to state that this is my first read-through and I only have vague idea of the plot I’ve gathered from fanfics and tumblr posts.

Long post ahead

Chapter 1

So... at first I was like - huh, this isn’t as bad as I thought, but the moment Alina gets introspective, it all goes to hell.

Like, she’s being physically made sick by not using her powers, which is making her feel useless - like, she says, pretty much verbatim: “The only thing I was ever good at was being a Sun Summoner and I’m not that anymore.”

I’m gonna beat those paragraphs over the head of anyone, who says Alina got a good ending.

I’ve also noticed just how often the like “I pushed that thought away” is used and more often than not, it’s used on thoughts that should probably not be pushed away.

Ah, yes, here he comes, my boy Darkles, being the dramatic bitch he always is. We get it, you’re the hot villain, tempting the good and pure heroine away from being good and pure.

And I’m just now realizing how many times in this chapter has Alina lamented their lack of privacy. We have to ensure the reader doesn’t hink she’s *gasp* sleeping with Mal.

Chapter 2

What?

Alina is tripping balls while being put under by a Heartrender, got it.

Darkling is being the voice of reason, but I’m getting the distinct feeling it won’t last.

Ivan gets one point, because Alina is in fact a traitor, but he’s also being a cunt, so it doesn’t really count.

Alina at Sturmhond: Do you even care about Ravka?

Me at Alina: Do you?

Chapter 3

“Mermaids are not real”. I’m pretty sure they are in the Grishaverse.

My boy Darkles is still making sense, but Alina is dedicated to being against him just for the hell of it, it seems.

Did this bitch just throw a tantrum, because he told her, what we can assume is the truth? Okay. Like, I get that she’s at best 18, but still. Not exactly the type of protagonist whose head I like being in.

And in that moment, dozens of smut fics were born.

Chapter 4

Wow, that was quick.

Aaand. What had just happened?

Chapter 5

Sturmhond is a funny bitch, I’ll give him that.

And this entire conversation, it seems like Mal’s entire purpose is to stand behind Alina threateningly and repeat what she said, lol.

I’d like to remind Alina (and LB) that a king in an absolutist monarchy (which is what Ravka appears to be) is very much a tyrant. Don’t make it sound like Ravka didn’t have a tyrant before. And at the very least, my boy Darkles seems pretty competent.

A man calling himself a Storm Dog likes dogs. No shit.

Chapter 6

I hate Mal. Dude, this is your girlfriend, maybe like... listen to her? Don’t bludgeon her with the one other guy she was kinda-sorta with, when you are a well known manwhore?

I don’t know man, I don’t like him.

Everyone: You can’t have more than one amplifier, it’s dangerous.

Alina: Haha, sparkles go brrrr

Chapter 7

In other news, pirates are funny.

Holy shit, they have a plane.

That was... a lot. And we’re crossing the Fold again, yay.

Chapter 8

You feel bad for the Volcra but not for the people you’ve left for dead in the Fold last time? Okay.

Baby Volcra. Am I supposed to say “ew” or “aww”? If I tried doing both at the same time, it would probably sound like one.

Jesus fucking Christ this book is a ride.

Did Alina really just have an “oh no, he’s hot?” moment? *sighs*

Puppy boy has a title longer than Daenerys, jesus.

Alina, my dear, you could have waited for a bit before doing that. There’s like thirty soldier with guns around you and you’ve just punched a prince.

Then again, you’ve never been smart, have you?

Chapter 9

For once, I completely agree with him. I know you two have lost your one shared braincell on that first crossing of the Fold but still, that was very dumb of you, Alina.

I’m starting to get why people were calling Nikolai “Darkling light”. Definitelly seems appropriate.

Mal, calm the fuck down, that was the least romantic proposal I’ve ever heard and you know it.

You two didn’t even let Alina get a word in for the last page. What right do you have to her, Mal, huh? Nikolai is making sense and you’re being an idiot.

What’s your deal Mal? What the fuck do you want?

And why in the hell are you the endgame love interest?

That’s an awful lot of guilt-tripping you’re doing there, Mal. No need to be pissy about it.

Chapter 10

The bones thing is definitelly yikes.

Saints, Mal, are you on your period or something? Alina doesn’t belong to you. Alina can make her own choices. Get a grip.

“You think I’m like the Darkling?” Yes. The Darkling isn’t all bad. You’re at war. No need to get your panties in a twist over a few fingers.

Oh, look, Alina has a cult now, nice.

Chapter 11

Your “dad” is a rapist, Nikolai. Quite possibly a pedo. He got exactly what he deserved.

I’d go for the second option. Especially after that stunt. Jesus, you could have asked her beforehand.

At least Darkles had the decency to make out with her in private.

Also like... why is every single person in this series so far an asshole?

Chapter 12

We meet the King again, unfortunately.

Alina gets Darkles’s old job.

This should be a total disaster, but let’s see where it goes anyway.

Chapter 13

Alina’s nuts, yay.

(I know they have a Force-bond-thingy. I also know they did it before Reylo did.)

Chapter 14

Oh boy, Alina’s not doing as bad as I thought.

For the 100th time in this book, I wish I had Nikolai’s confidence. Though it is getting a bit too much.

Puppy boy is dropping some truth bombs. Nice.

But he doesn’t realize that my boy Darkles has very good reasons to not align with Fjerdans - a) they think he’s a demon and b) they want Grisha dead.

I’m not gonna say she was, but like... the monarchy is very much corrupt.

Oh, boy, Baghra. This one’s gonna go well.

Yep, Baghra’s as pleasant as ever.

So... Baghra’s plan in book 1 really had been to just have Alina run away and hope for the best? Jesus Christ, lady. I’m not saying she deserved to have her eyes taken away, but she is definitelly a trash person and I’m not surprised her son turned out the way he did.

Also, I’m fairly certain that Baghra is literally slowly killing herself - that the reason she looks so old and frail is because she’s started to supress her power and it’s literally killing her, because, you know, she’s bonkers old.

Chapter 15

Nerd Alina > Self-pitying Alina

Also, I’m just saying, Alina comments on Zoya being attractive a whole lot - I get that she’s meant to be insecure, but I’m interpreting it as her being gay, because I need some happiness in my life, okay?

Just kill the sleazy old Rasputin-wanna-be. There’s plenty of them to go around in this series.

Chapter 16

Vasily takes after his father in creep factor.

Why not the Darkling being courted by a horny prince? Be a bit creative.

Chapter 17

Nikolai has big ADHD energy and I love him for it. Fits right in with the heavily autism-coded Fabricators.

*sighs at heteronormativity again*

*sighs at improper gendering of titles*

Date night with Mal. This is gonna be a disaster, isn’t it?

Chapter 18

Fun night of cultural appropriation, yay.

I hate cultists.

LET. ALINA. GO. FERAL. Please.

You two are going to give me a headache, I swear.

Darkles cockblocking Alina. And Malice threw a tantrum. Nice.

Chapter 19

You’re way too harsh on Genya, Alina.

Horny Alina rights.

They have a laser, now. Cool. Or, well, enormously hot.

Mal is being a drunk a-hole. Great. When does he become likable? Does he ever?

Banter between Mal and Alina? Kinda weird, always somehow comes back to either of them being insecure.

Banter between Alina and Nikolai? I’m all for it. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still a Darklina trash, but like... Nikolai is fun. I could see him and Alina having an arranged political marriage and ending up falling in love years into it, that’s all I’m saying.

Chapter 20

Just let this one go, Alina, please. You two are not working out. Please, end it with him. You’ll both probably be happier. (I’m saying this with the full knowledge that Malina is endgame).

Jesus Alina, get your shit together. You have every right to be mad, because you two didn’t actually break up, you didn’t kiss Nikolai and also, I don’t like Mal.

Sooo... when is Alina going to realize her manchild of a boyfriend is an amplifier?

Chapter 21

Alina has the horny sickness, lol.

Jesus Christ, girl, I don’t want to read your vaguely suicidal thoughts.

Mal, you fucking idiot.

Alina, stop defending Mal.

Chapter 22

Alina has a logical thought? Impossible.

Finally, some action.

Chapter 23

Oh, boi, this is going great.

Oh, boi, Alina’s having another martyr moment.

And, we’re done.

Finally.

That was a ride. Nothing really happens for like ten chapters and then everything happens in one and a half.

#shadow and bone #grishaverse #siege and storm #review #darklina #anti mal #I guess #reading binges like this yeet me right back into middle school

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babymetaldoll · 3 years

Text

A story of hazelnuts, bananas, and loving your babe (Matthew Gray Gubler/ Reader)

Requested: Yes:

“Me gustaría leer algo de Matthew donde el este en la exposición de su libro firmando a los fans que la protagonista este también ahí apoyándolo ya que llevan varios años de pareja”

Summary: No one has ever been so excited about releasing a book than Matthew Gray Gubler. So excited he might actually forget he has to eat...

Warnings: Hardcore fluff. That’s it, you’ve been warned.

Pairing: Matthew Gray Gubler / Reader

A/N: I loved this story, I was having such a bad, awful, miserable day, and writing this just made me smile the whole time, so THANK YOU FOR THIS REQUEST!!!! and shoutout for barcodes!!

Word count: 1,7K

Masterlist

Matthew Gray Gubler was shining. He was so happy, proud, and excited about everything going on that day, nothing could erase the silly grin from his face. It was the day of the release of his first book, "Rumple Buttercup", and he was in New York for a book signing, and meet and greet with fans.

He couldn't be more excited if he tried. He kept telling everybody it was like having his first son, which was pretty weird considering (Y/N), his girlfriend (now soon to be wife), was four months pregnant.

She looked at him and sighed as he stood next to a table and a bunch of books, nearly jumping on his spot, hyperventilated. He was so honestly happy, she felt her heart was swollen in love. The way he smiled, she was sure it was able to cure all the sadness in the world, it was so pure, so bright. She had never seen anything else as truthful as his smile.

- "How are you feeling, Bunny?"- he asked her and held her hand tight.

- "I'm hungry... you?"

- "Hazelnuts?"- he tried to open his backpack, but his Rumple Buttercup's costume head fell. She quickly moved to pick it up, and he immediately freaked out

- "No! no! don't..."

- "Gubs, I'm pregnant, not sick, I can pick up your gigantic Rumple's head"- she smiled and tried to move as fast as possible, 'cos she knew he was trying to move faster. And he did.

- "Bunny, you don't have to make sudden moves, the doctor said..."- but she didn't let him finish

- "The doctor said: take care, work out, you are healthy, don't overexert yourself, eat well... but she never said "Let Matthew treat you like a porcelain doll", did she?"- her hands were at her waist as she looked at him, raising an eyebrow. But he just smiled, with that heart-melting smile.

- "You know, you can argue as much as you want, but you are not going to stop me from taking care of you two"- Matthew wrapped one of his arms around her and kissed the tip of her lips. It was all real uncomfortable 'cos he was in his Rumple costume, which meant she couldn't actually fully hug him, and she couldn't stop giggling.

- "I don't think I can do this with Rumple here too, I feel he is trying to get in the middle"- she whispered, and Gubler laughed right away, but quickly fully kissed her again.

- "Rumple doesn't care... he thinks you are hot, by the way"

- "Tell Rumple I'm gonna marry someone else, so he should keep his hands and eyes to himself"- (Y/N) whispered and stuck out her tongue to him. Matthew sighed and kept her in his arms for a bit longer.

- "Thank you for coming with me, Bunny"

- "I wouldn't have missed it for the word, honey"- he rested his forehead on hers for a moment and sighed

- "I love you"

- "Me too"

- "Me most"

- "Technically there are two hearts in my body right now, so I can and will love you more"- she defied him and chuckled. He just looked at her and pecked the top of her nose.

- "I love you even more, 'cos there are two hearts inside of you"- she couldn't argue with that, she could only kiss him again, and again until she realized people were already walking into the bookstore.

- "Gubs, people are watching"- she whispered, rubbing her lips around him

- "I don't care..."

- "They are taking pictures"- she whispered and felt her cheeks blushing. Matthew sighed and kissed her forehead once more.

He knew she wasn't comfortable being on the spot like that, they didn't hide their relationship from the media or fans, they actually didn't think anyone might even care about their relationship. But still, they liked having their privacy.

- "I'm going to wait for you over there"- she pointed at the other side of the bookstore, to a very cozy looking empty couch, waiting for her.

- "Did you bring your books? I don't want you to get bored"- Gubler asked and opened his backpack, looking for something in it. Something he couldn't quite find, 'cos in the process, he took out a hat, color pencils, a gourd, his journal, a copy of "Something wicked comes this way", and finally, a packet of hazelnuts

- "Yes, and also my laptop, so I can get some work done... What are you doing?"

- "Omega 3, you need this"- he smiled and showed her the nuts

- "You are nuts, Gubs"

- "You are welcome, future Mrs. Gubs"- he leaned in and kissed sweetly, just to listen at someone sighing and giggling nearby.

The two of them turned around and saw five girls looking at them from a safe distance. They were the first five of all the girls in line waiting for a signed copy of "Rumple". (Y/N) chuckled and closed her eyes, feeling her cheeks turning red. Gubler waved and held (Y/N) close tight.

- "Hi!"- he simply said and smiled- "Thank you for coming!!"- and they all waved, giggling.

- "I'm gonna..."- (Y/N) pointed to the couch and Gubler nodded, kissing her lips one more time, and rubbing her belly.

- "And I'll be right here, in case you two need anything"

(Y/N) sat on that big cozy couch eating hazelnuts and looked at her boyfriend signing books. He should have been exhausted after four hours, but no, he felt he could go on for hours, signing books, taking pictures with fans, talking with everybody. That's how happy he was to be releasing his book.

- "Hello!! Thank you so much for being here!!"- Matthew was hyperventilated greeting fans, and this one, in particular, was incredibly nervous to be there, and he noticed

- "Do you want a hug? can I hug you? come here"- he stood up and moved closer, wrapping his arms, still in his Rumple's costume, around her. She just giggled and did her best to talk.

- "Hi"- that was all she managed to say and bit her lips

- "What's your name?"

- "I'm Kat"

- "Kat! that's a great name! I love cats, I have a cat, I mean, my fiancée has a cat, well, at this point I think I have a cat too, we have a cat together"- Kat smiled and watched him signing her book.

- "What's your cat's name?"

- Belle, do you want to see a picture of her?- the fan nodded and held her breath, still trying to act normal, while Gubler found a picture of Belle in his phone.

- "She is so pretty!"- Kat smiled as soon as she saw an image of the cat sleeping on a couch in what clearly was Gubler's living room

- "Is she called Belle for The Beauty and the Beast?"- she somehow asked, and her voice didn't crack. She felt incredibly proud of herself.

- "You might think of, but no... well, actually, I don't know, (Y/N) already had her when we met, but I'd love to think she named her Belle before we actually were together 'cos I love that movie and we were meant to be together"

The rest of the girls in line were melting with love, and from a distance, so was his future wife. She would never get tired of watching him be such a sweetheart with everybody, especially with his fans.

- "Hey! hello! I love your sweater!!"- five hours later, and Gubler was still on fire. There were three empty cups of coffee next to him, and the line of fans didn't seem to end. (Y/N) looked over, gathered all her things, and walked out for a minute to get her boyfriend something to eat. She knew exactly what he needed, and she was also craving some sugar.

Matthew Gray looked over the couch and frowned. His girlfriend wasn't there, but she was there a minute ago, where did she go? he looked around and tried to find her. But nothing. Maybe she was in the bathroom, he thought, that's ok, nothing to worry about... unless she wasn't feeling well, maybe the baby wasn't ok, maybe she was in pain, or uncomfortable, or bleeding. Maybe he had to call 911 'cos she was unconscious in the bathroom, and now his mind was going so much faster than it should, and his heart started racing, 'cos...

- "Honey"- (Y/N) whispered for a safe distance- "Gubs, sorry, but...."- her voice interrupted his dark train of thoughts, and forced him to turn around and let out a deep sigh.

- "Oh! thank god you are alright!!"- he stood up and hugged her tight.

- "What? sure I am, what are you talking about?"

- "I thought you were feeling sick, I didn't see you on the couch, and..."

- "I was out for literally ten minutes, honey"- she giggled and looked around at all the fans taking pictures. She was so embarrassed.

- "Where were you?"- Gubler asked and noticed (Y/N)'s face blushing- "Hey guys, sorry! sorry"- Matthew looked at the fans and waved- "Can you excuse us for a second, please?"- he held (Y/N)'s hand and walked a few steps away from everybody.

- "I just wanted to get you something to eat, you haven't eaten anything since lunch, so I brought you a little snack, a banana pudding, some cashews, and a juice"- (Y/N) gave him a bag with food. He stared at her in adoration for a few seconds, and just cupped her face with both hands and kissed her lips softly.

- "I love you so much"

- "I know... now snack, 'cos you've had nothing but coffee in the last five hours, and I don't want to faint in the Rumple costume, 'cos I will never be able to pick you from the ground"- he chuckled and nodded.

- "How's baby bean?"

- "He was also hungry, so we got a cinnamon roll"

- "As soon as we are done here, I'm going to take you out for a nice diner, ok? you and baby bean need some real food"

- "So do you and Rumple"- (Y/N) pecked his lips and smiled- "Now go, I gotta go sit down for a minute 'cos..."

- "Do you feel alright? are you ok?"- she just sighed and nodded

- "I'm fine, just tired, but I'll be right there, back on the couch, ok?"- Gubler felt her hand mess with his hair and then watched her walk away. He didn't realize he was holding his breath until she sat down. He had no idea how he had gotten so lucky but he knew he was going to do whatever it took to hold onto what he had.

#matthew gray gubler #matthew gray gubler x reader #matthew gray gubler fanfic #mgg #mgg x reader #criminal minds #spencer reid #spencer reid fanfic #rumple buttercup #babymetaldoll writes

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mothicalspoken · 3 years

Text

Trading One For Another

Summary: The Night, in Marcy’s body, offers a proposition. Anne takes it. Based off the small theory I have because of Anne’s eye in the photo in The Sleepover To End All Sleepovers. A night!Anne fic

TW for graphic depictions of violence and injuries!

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Anne’s vision spun wildly as she struggled to recollect herself. Something warm was dripping off her face from the impact with the stone wall, and her head hurt like hell. In the corner of her eye, she saw a vague red blur rush towards her, but in a blink of an eye, the red figure was pulled back from Anne’s vision.

Blink.

“Oh no you don’t,” a creepy yet familiar voice tinged with rust hissed.

Blink.

Anne turned her head, and a flash of bright light shone through her cloudy vision that was just beginning to clear.

Blink.

A glimpse of yellow.

Blink.

A guttural scream.

“SASHA!” Anne exclaimed, swiping at her eyes and not taking the time to examine the thick blood now plastered on the back of her hand. The blonde was on her knees and heaving, one hand pressed over her left eye. A figure clad in a blue wetsuit stumbled back on sudden unsteady feet and the glowing knife fell from thier grip.

Anne raised herself to her knees with visible strain, and crawled towards her fallen friend. It hurt to even lift her head. Sasha kept one hand over her eye, and looked at Anne with the other, tears brimming even as she held out her arm and took Anne in underneath it.

Anne wrapped her arm around the back of Sasha’s torso and pulled her close, brandishing nothing but a glowing blue fist as she glared angrily at the figure standing before them.

They were crying. Their breaths came out as thick, choked sobs, but their face was set with a sinister determination. Orange eyes glowed against the shadows of Andrias’s basement. They took in a deep breath, and wiped thier eyes, muttering loudly to themself in a voice that was far too composed for someone who looked like they were in the middle of a breakdown.

“Urgh... this child’s emotions are so... annoying,” They said dismissively. Anne stiffened and bristled at their words. “The Wit cries so much- like I get it, I get it, you love your friends or whatever and you don’t want to hurt them. Fine. But here’s the thing! I’m hurting them. And you can’t do anything about it but shake some things around and hope it messes me up. So just sit back and let me conquer this place, okay?”

“Stop HURTING THEM!” Anne screamed, anger and desperation radiating from every part of her voice. She was powerless to do anything but yell and hold back, due to the threat of accidentally injuring Marcy. “Get out of Marcy’s body and get away from Sasha, you sick freak!”

“That’s an awfully human term to describe something that has been alive longer than you’re able to comprehend,” the figure in the wetsuit replied with a nonchalant air, orange eyes blinking innocently. “Honestly, considering how young you are compared to me, don’t you think you should trust my judgement? Gotta respect your elders and all that, as frogs say.”

“I don’t care whatever self-righteous nonsense you think you’re entitled to, you stupid body-stealing eldritch robot baby,” Anne hissed, earning a weak laugh from Sasha. “Just get out of my friend’s body, and leave us alone.”

The figure let out a long, drawn out, dramatic sigh.

“Fine. If you REALLY want me to stop doing whatever I’m doing, then I have a suggestion. You might not like it though.”

“I’ll do anything,” Anne insisted firmly, something deep and permanent fueling her from the inside. “Just as long as Sasha and Marcy don’t have to suffer anymore because of you.”

“Oh really?” The figure bent down and looked at Anne with a smug little smile. “Well- do you think you can handle me, you little glowing nuisance?”

Sasha sucked in a harsh breath in realization, and tugged Anne even closer, whispering frantically into her ear.

“Anne, don’t fall for it, it’s-”

“Sasha. I’m the only one out of us three who actually has a grip on my calamity powers. It has to be me.”

“What makes you think that your calamity powers are going to be able to stop whatever that thing is?!” Sasha hissed, voice slightly higher than usual. “You don’t even know anything about it! It takes ahold of your mind, and Marcy was the one who was supposed to be good with that stuff, and-” “They’re mortally injured! Do you really think that it’s possible to concentrate on fighting off an eldritch god when you have a gaping chest wound?!” Anne hissed back. “They’re trying her best, and they’ve gone through so much already, and I just-”

“You’re injured too!” Sasha exclaimed, tears brimming in her eyes, finally taking her left hand off her eye. There was a deep burned gash in the place where her eye had been, completely disfiguring the side of her face, and it almost made Anne sick to look at, especially since the smell of roasted flesh began to emanate from it as soon as Sasha took her hand away. She raised her hand to gently brush at the side of Anne’s head, and Anne hissed in pain. Sasha’s fingers came back bloody. “You can't just- I don’t-”

“Not as injured as her, or you. I’ll be fine,” Anne replied, a little more coldly than intended. She raised her hand to where Sasha had her arm wrapped around her shoulder, and squeezed her hand in a feeble act of reassurance. “Just.. trust me okay? Please.”

Sasha opened her mouth and closed it again, like an incredibly worried fish. She said nothing though, and instead buried the uninjured side of her face into Anne’s shoulder, holding on for dear life.

“You’re not gonna lose me. After this, I promise we’ll never have to lose each other again,” Anne whispered, quiet enough so only Sasha could hear. “We’re done with that. No more getting separated, and almost dying, or literally dying. None of that. It stops now. I’m gonna make sure of it.”

The only answer from Sasha was an incredibly pained look. It was strange to see on the usually composed and confident girl.

The figure rolled their eyes and groaned.

“So is that a yes or no? C’mon, I don’t have all day for your sappy little heart-to-heart or whatever you’re doing.”

“I’ll do it,” Anne confirmed. Sasha’s hand gripped onto her t-shirt tighter. The figure bent down to Anne and Sasha’s level and smiled wide, almost mockingly.

“Well then, if that’s the case...” they scanned Anne’s face, and seemed to come to a decision of some sort. “Hold still. I’mma let my host take over for a little bit here.”

Anne’s eyes widened as one of the orange orbs staring at her flickered, and soon became smoothly replaced with a familiar brown pupil against a white sclera. Almost instantly, Anne could see the regret and sorrowfulness in Marcy’s eye.

Thier hands, cold and slightly damp, came to rest on either side of Anne’s face, shaking slightly.

With a single, determined movement, Marcy leaned forward and pressed a light kiss to Anne’s open head wound.

Almost immediately, Anne’s vision flooded with a bright, glowing orange light, and she shut her eyes against it. A wave of pain shot through her mind, and she cluctched at the sides of her head, trying to fight back against the intense takeover.

Marcy slumped over, and fell limply into Sasha’s arms, breathing shallow. Sasha pulled her into her lap and held her close, whispering “I’ve got you,” and “you’re okay,” and any other words of reassurement she could possibly offer.

“Ugh...” Anne groaned, finally tearing her hands away.

Sasha looked over at her, breath catching in the back of her throat.

Half-lidded, tired eyes stared back at her.

One blue.

One orange.

Anne gave a feeble thumbs up, and laughed.

#tw injury #tw violence #amphibia #my writing #I'm not sure how good the summary is #anne boonchuy #Sasha Waybright #marcy wu #the night amphibia #amphibia spoilers #sasha argues with Anne bc she doesn't want to lose her #they all don't want to lose eachother #let these kids be happy I say while writing this fic as if I'm letting them be happy #also theory that Anne is gonna try and do some self sacrificial shit In season 3 unless someone disrupts the mindset she's been building #since toad tower #the night talks like an annoyed theater kid #btw the description of violence is Sasha's eye getting taken out and also some description of Anne and Sasha's injuries

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siennahrobek · 3 years

Text

I had so many ideas on what to write about today but I was scrolling through the Obi-Wan tag during my break and I came across a huge post that had been baffled and a bit crazed. It was labeled about forgiveness and mercy and such but it was like a huge insanely interpreted post about the Jedi Order and some of the characters. Of course I wasn't about to start any sort of argument (and wow was the post long) but I just had to write something, at least, in my own post, unconnected with theirs. I guess this is a reaction and buckle up cause it seems like this is going to be a long one. I have a lot to say and I'm not gonna stop being all anxious about it until I do but uh....

I'm sorry, did we watch the same movies?

They go through a lot of movies and completely do a opposite take on the Jedi; how they are "unattached" (I say this because there are so many misconceptions about the word) and celibate (which we know isn't actually true) and how Anakin becomes living proof why this attitude is wrong.

First of all, it's not an attitude; it is a way of life. One that has worked for thousands of people over millennia. Second; their point WAS proven. Anakin turned to the dark side and became a sith. He committed genocide after genocide (the Jedi, Mandalore, Alderaan, Lasan etc.) and in the end, he only turned back because of his son. Which, may seem good on the surface, but it only goes to show how no other children or people that he murdered actually mattered, it was only his blood child that did. But that's not where I'm going. You don't actually see him regret doing the countless things he has done (probably because he dies) and he only does this because of his blood son. It, for me, gives the impression that blood means everything.

Anyways, there is quite a bit of talk about Obi-Wan and honestly? It is all not good. I'm not blind to Obi-Wan's faults but in general? He is a really good person; he tries so hard and goes through so much and is ugh, always trying. Obi-Wan shows no understanding? What? What? Did we watch the same movie? I mean it has been a while since I have watched Attack of the Clones and Revenge of the Sith (they hurt my heart because ugh) but that is NOT what I remember. I remember Obi-Wan teasing Anakin gently to get his mind off of his anxieties when they were going to see Padme again. I remember Obi-Wan saying "dude don't be a horny teenager" (not in those words obviously, but that was essentially the message). I remember him literally parenting and teaching him - like he's supposed to do. I remember him trusting Anakin to do the right thing and to protect the Senator alone, by himself. I remember Anakin saying he's been having dreams - not visions or anything and nothing specific, just about his mom - and Obi-Wan going "it's alright dude, those pass in time". I mean everyone has DREAMS, that's not beholden to force-sensitives. My dreams sure as heck don't mean anything. Just cause he is a Jedi and COULD have visions, does not mean they are. And he didn't tell Obi-Wan they were visions, he literally says dreams.

(this is about the time that I wish I could work with gifs and understand them)

Anakin is not stronger than Obi-Wan; I mean, really? Sure, more powerful? I guess? But let's go back. Who beats who on Mustafar? Obi-Wan. Who does NOT murder a bunch of children and turn to the dark side? Obi-Wan. Literally, sure, he's more "powerful" with the Force, because I guess that is the whole point but he's not stronger or wiser than Obi-Wan because as Captain Rex said "experience outranks everything" and man, does Obi-Wan have a lot of that.

Let's take a break and go to Shmi. They claim that her death is a dark page in the Jedi's book. I mean, w-what? How can you possibly blame the Jedi for Shmi's death? For not freeing her? Did Qui-Gon even tell the Council that Anakin was a slave? I don't remember, honestly. But still, she ended up freed and married to a man she fell in love with. And if I remember correctly, someone was sent (by Padme maybe? to free her but she was already gone to the Lars' by that point).

Okay, I know it sounds like I am reacting to a post and well I am I suppose. But like, this post is literally blaming the Jedi for Shmi's death and how they did not offer Anakin compassion. And then just to say that it is bothersome how Anakin was solely blamed. Uh, because he was a the perpetrator! How can you possibly justify the MURDER of children. Even though it not the Jedi way, I could understand, sort of, if he went after the people that hurt his mother specifically; probably some of the men/warriors/adults. But the babies? The children? You can literally not justify that. And to blame the Jedi Order and Obi-Wan for not "taking his nightmares seriously?" Are you serious? Anakin mentioned the dream (DREAM) once in passing, there is no indication that he said that she was in danger or that this was a vision. And visions are known to be notoriously unreliable! Not to mention, the Council is responsible for the Jedi as a whole - that is thousands of people.

Alright, now to the war.

There was a claim that throughout the war, the Jedi became more and more aloof, intolerant and unforgiving and determined to win despite the suffering of the people.

What. The. Krutack.

I will include the Clone Wars series, since it was directly referenced in response. Once again, did we watch the same show? Because I'm pretty sure that virtually the whole point of the show, aside from showing us horrible things the CIS did and the individuality of the clones, was the compassion and kindness of the Jedi. How they fought to protect as many people as they could. They were dying alongside the clones. Does anyone remember how kind and caring the Jedi were when they came across civilians. Do you remember how Obi-Wan literally carried and protected with his own body the little Twielek girl, Numa, on Ryloth? Does anyone remember how many NON-Republic planets they helped? I remember them helping even CIS senators and planets that had no ties to the Republic. They helped Mandalore even when they were not part of the Republic. The vast majority of Jedi are shown protecting not only citizens but the clones as well. They are on the front lines - not hidden behind a desk (although some are and that is necessary - tactics and strategy people) and trying to save as many lives as they can, even if it costs them. They inspire creativity and individuality in the clones - this is literally a thing. I could go on and on and on.

Okay, on to Revenge of the Sith - the sadness that will probably haunt my heart forever. We will start with Dooku; specifically when Palpatine tells Anakin to kill him and that he deserves it; it is revenge for cutting off his and whatever. And this, this, post asks if this is an act of mercy for the guy kneeling in front of him (and tells him Obi-Wan later denies him) and like, what? How in the world is that mercy? He murders a defenseless man. Sure, he is the enemy and he is a criminal but he is supposed to stand trial (not to mention all the intelligence Dooku could possible give to help win the war) which is incredibly ironic, considering later, Anakin screams at Mace Windu telling him Palpatine should stand trial (even though he is much more dangerous and more of a threat than Dooku). This is not mercy. This is a handless, defenseless (although evil) man who Anakin does actually kill. It is not mercy.

Anakin has dreams about Padme; similar to his mother. You would think he would have learned his lesson and confided in someone by telling them what was actually happening. Anakin once again, DOES NOT give Yoda any specifics, just that he fears someone he is close to will die. It is claimed that he is lacking empathy and compassion to Anakin's dilemma. WHAT DILEMMA? Anakin won't tell anyone anything that could actually help. What Yoda says is true; like "dude, people die and you have to move on from that. You cannot stop death and you cannot let this fear control you. You have to let go" which is a completely reasonable thing; I mean, hello - grief counseling anyone? Yoda probably thought he was talking about Obi-Wan - who was off on a very dangerous mission against a cyborg that had killed many Jedi and padawans; this seems like a very normal fear. Whether or not Yoda says this in the right way is not really relevant; Anakin knows that he has to let go of what he fears to lose because eventually, no matter what, he will lose it. NOTHING is permanent. Now if Anakin had specified he was having what he thought were visions and the actual person in them, I'm sure Yoda would have said things differently and probably helped him.

(Also, did Padme get any real health care or like??? Was it too much of a secret???)

(The genocide of the people in the Temple is conveniently glossed through with bare mention)

and then Mustafar. Contrary to Padme (apparently) Obi-Wan shows no clemency. ANAKIN MURDERED THE ELDERLY, THE SICK/INJURED AND BABIES in the temple. Not warriors, not even full grown men and women (some would be full grown but all the able bodied were probably out in the war trying to defend the universe). He should NOT be granted clemency. Anyone else would probably have been executed for this direct horrifying act. But they seem to gloss over how Obi-Wan is always on the defensive, not really because Anakin is more overpowering (And Obi-Wan does use a defensive style, Soresu) but because he is trying to give Anakin time to chill out and come to his senses. That is literally how the choreography was designed.

And Obi-Wan's last words were? Harsh? What? If I remember correctly, Obi-Wan says something like "You were supposed to destroy the Sith not join them" and when Anakin screams he hates Obi-Wan, the return is "you were my brother, Anakin, I loved you."

That is heart-breaking and sad, not harsh. How can you look at Obi-Wan's face in this scene and call that harsh? How can your heart not break for him?!

Say what you will about Obi-Wan leaving Anakin without "finishing him off". Whether or not this is a mercy, whatever. First, we needed a reason for Vader to be in the suit. Second, Anakin was unarmed; Obi-Wan doesn't go around killing unarmed enemies, much less loved ones. (Hello, the slaver from the series, anyone? He didn't kill him; it is against his beliefs. Rex killed him). Can you even imagine how Obi-Wan was feeling? How could he possibly kill his brother? Like, I have so many feelings and not enough words ahdkjgkjgjkf. Anakin does suffer and Obi-Wan has no reason to believe that Anakin would survive his injuries. Furthermore, if I remember correctly, Palpatine ship was coming? Also, Obi-Wan had to get to Padme - she was injured and more of a priority. Because she is someone he can try to save - Anakin is long gone - in more ways than one.

Although it claimed that they are not denying the terrible things Anakin has done; that is almost kind of what they are doing. They are literally putting Anakin's choices and agency to the fault of the Jedi - not just individuals but the culture and people. It is literally gone on to say that if he had left with his wife, the worst could have been avoided. What was the worst?

Oh, a mass murderer got his legs cut off and accidently burned alive. Uhm, okay, that sucks but you do realize he committed genocide of his entire family right? And he choked his wife into unconsciousness.

I can't even with humans.

There is not even a note to Palpatine and how he manipulated Anakin for years. No blame at all on the man we need to blame the most - they put all the blame on the Jedi which just. Blows my mind.

The Clone Wars proved there was no right choice for the Jedi - they were doomed to fall. Not because of anything they did - they did everything they could - but because of Palpatine's plans and schemes. I will never, ever agree that the Jedi failed because of themselves. I do not think that the "institution" was destined to fall ( that "institution" lasted for longer than the Republic). The Jedi were trying so hard - they were kind and good and compassionate and trying so hard for peace and saving as many lives as they could. The Sith were evil. The CIS was evil. The Senate was corrupt. And the Jedi were trying.

There is so much Jedi-blaming for Anakin's attitude, disposition and choices it is literally driving me insane. Why did I do this to myself?

Things delve into a New Hope and immediately there is bashing of the jedi; where Obi-Wan cuts some guy's arm off at a Cantina and Obi- Wan "lying" that Vader killed Anakin. Which, honestly, I could see that being true. Him being Anakin's murderer, at least. Vader may have Anakin's body but even he claims that he killed Anakin Skywalker. Anakin, at least, how he thought he was, was loyal and passionate and loving - or at least he tried to be. Vader is literally none of these things; there is very little of "Anakin" in Vader. And at first glance, it may seem that Obi-Wan and Yoda are setting Luke up to kill "his father" but honestly, I see it more as preparing him to fight Vader and kill him, if necessary. It's a horrible thing, but they do not outright say anything. And honestly, they were right. Vader is willing to kill Luke - he cuts off his hand and fights him. Okay, I have so much to say about this but that is for another time; i will digress about this particular point (of lying and such)

Luke, apparently, decides to forgive Vader and show him mercy (which is claimed the Jedi and Obi-Wan NEVER did for Anakin, no matter what he did for them which is such BS I'm virtually crying rn)

There is a lengthy talk about Luke trying to rebuild the Jedi culture and how it crushed him, his contrast with Obi-Wan's attitude and shame(?) and how trying to be a Jedi has caused him to fail. Because apparently Luke is the only one who apologized and that makes him different I guess? (How many times has Obi-Wan apologized and thought things were his fault even though they weren't?)

I won't get into the Sequel Trilogy because honestly, it does very little to interest me. I am mostly a Prequel- era person mostly because I love Obi-Wan and the strength and compassion of his character. Finn seemed really interesting to me and man I thought having a female Jedi character would be really great - we had some fantastic female Jedi such as Ahsoka, Shaak Tii, Depa Billaba and so many more - but they were rarely the focus and I thought it would be fun. But, I was a bit disappointed because killing off Han Solo the way they did? Eh. Didn't care for it. I was also in the era of Mara Jade, Jacen and Jaina Solo, Anakin Solo and Ben Skywalker (Luke's son) so perhaps I was a little bias. I didn't really understand why Leia and Han would name their child after someone that they didn't really know (although I do have a headcanon concerning Leia and Obi-Wan which I find hilarious that I love).

I didn't particularly care for the Sequel Trilogy. They made it a Skywalker show and they did an emphasis on romantic love and from what I recall from what I have watched, the majority of the characters weren't nearly as interesting or compelling to me. And then bringing Palpatine back, sighs. Why does it always come back to him? That is just exhausting.

I'm not hating on the Sequels; everyone is allowed to like things or whatever. I just didn't; they focused so much on Rey and Kylo Ren (who I actually have a bit of an opinion on but I won't right now) instead of the more intriguing characters. I would have been much more interested in Finn as a Jedi. To overcome what he has been through as a stormtrooper and becoming a Jedi would be a really interesting story. I didn't care for how they handled Luke. And I didn't like how Rey apparently became a master so fast without any real training? Even Anakin, the Chosen One, the most powerful force-wielder, had ten years of training under Obi-Wan and the Jedi. That stuff doesn't just...come; you learn it.

I wrote more about the Sequel Trilogy than I care too. I suppose this is a rather reaction post but wow; I felt like me and this person had watched two separate movie trilogy/shows. It boggles my mind on how people can get the opposite of something that was so clearly shown. I hope I didn't upset anyone too bad. I'm not hear to start a fight, just to get out some feelings.

I wrote this all instead of homework that I desperately need to do. Sighs.

I need to go through my likes and read some good Jedi content cause man, that, that was hard.

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fckinsupreme · 4 years

Text

it happened one summer - xavier plympton x fem reader

Description: Xavier tries to charm a fellow counselor, but she isn’t falling for it. She wants something serious, and believes that Xavier is after one thing. Can he convince her that he wants more than just a hook-up?

Word count: 6k

Warnings: Female reader, AU, loss of virginity, unprotected sex, oral sex (female receiving), fingering, nipple play, handjob, basically the second half of this is nothing but filth.

A/N: Anonymous requested--Xavier trying to flirt with the new girl who goes to Redwood with his gang. She's a virgin but not stupid. She wants a serious relationship with someone more than just sex. And if this blondie only wants a regular hook up, well she's not the one. So Xavier will tried to convice her that he really wants something more with her. He thinks he's hot, but not because of her body. (Well, a little) But when he sees her zero fuck attitute he feels in love even more.

_________________________________

“Checkmate!”

You groan in defeat as Xavier Plympton claims one of your checkers, eyeing him in wide-eyed desperation. “Do I have to?”

“You know the rules, babe,” he says, gesturing toward your shirt. “Strip checkers denotes losing an article of clothing with every loss of a piece, so pay up!”

You sigh, annoyed with your own carelessness as you unbutton your blouse. A breeze passes through the ajar cabin door, the summer night air hitting your bare skin as your shirt falls to the floor. Your nipples harden inside of your bra, but luckily, the padding keeps it mostly concealed. “I thought checkmate was a chess thing, by the way?”

“Hm, don’t know,” Xavier says, licking his lips as he ogles your shirtless form. “Your turn.”

Your eyes scan the board, trying to decide a good move. The answer stares you in the face for the longest time, and you move one of your red checkers over one of his black ones when you see it. You claim the piece, eyeing his shirt with a satisfied grin. “Your turn.”

“Goddammit,” Xavier says with a chuckle, tugging his teal shirt over his head and throwing it aside.

Your cheeks heat in a hot blush at the sight of his bare torso. You knew he was fit and had a good body, but you didn’t quite realize just how built he had been. Muscles rippled beneath his skin, a slight outline of abs present on his stomach, his chest perfectly defined. Xavier has apparently noticed the color in your cheeks as you stare, a grin forming over his full lips. He laughs and flexes his biceps for you, which finally tears your gaze away with a darker flush.

“Like what you see, babe?” Xavier asks smugly.

“I--” you begin, cutting yourself off with a shake of your head as you watch him make a move. Luckily, he doesn’t claim any of your pieces. “Why do you flirt with me so much? It’s all you’ve done since we got here at camp.”

“Isn’t it obvious?” Xavier asks with an amused grin.

“Not really, no,” you say, making an unsuccessful move. “Enlighten me.”

“It’s because you’re beautiful,” Xavier says, surveying the board and moving his piece. “Seriously, Y/N. You’re stunning, and I don’t think you even realize it. I think you’re totally oblivious to the fact that you’re a fucking knockout, and that makes you even more beautiful.”

“What a line,” you say with a slight eye roll as you move a piece past his. He removes his shorts, and you’re unable to get a good look before he sits down. “Do you say that to all the girls you wanna get in bed with?”

“No,” he says, his tongue poking out as he claims another of your checkers. “Aha!”

You whine, slipping out of your skirt with reluctance. You feel so vulnerable, so exposed, and you aren’t too fond of that feeling. You try to cover your still-covered breasts with one arm, but to no avail. Xavier is trying so hard not to gawk, but he’s unable to help himself. For some odd reason, his staring fills you with a certain degree of rage. He certainly didn’t get angry when you were checking him out, so why be so harsh? You had a hunch as to why, but you weren’t going to vocalize it yet; mostly because it scared you to even entertain.

“I need to get back to my cabin,” you say, rising to your feet. “This was a mistake.”

“Woah, what?” Xavier asks in surprise, brows knitted as he watches you gather your discarded clothes. “Babe--”

“Please stop calling me that,” you beg as you get dressed. “And please stop flirting with me.”

“But--” he begins, cut off as you walk out of the cabin and into the night.

******

The next morning, Xavier was at it again.

Not only did he flirt with you first thing, but he was also hitting on Montana, Brooke, and anyone else within range. Apparently it hadn’t been the first time; you’d overheard Montana telling Ray that Xavier was getting more flirtatious with her since their arrival. You felt betrayed, deceived, utterly foolish for believing that a man as beautiful as Xavier Plympton would ever want you. Your heart stung, but you made a promise to yourself not to fall for it again. It was one you intended to keep, no matter how difficult he made it.

You ate breakfast alone, in silence. Your lone wolf status didn’t last long, however, as Xavier took a seat next to you. You scoot away, but he follows, oblivious to your anger and disappointment. Since moving isn’t working, you choose to ignore him. You eat quietly, not acknowledging his presence until he starts flirting with you once more. This time, his topic had been how the filtering of the sunlight in the cafeteria made you look angelic, and how he would love to show you Heaven sometime.

“Stop,” you say sternly. “Just stop it, Xavier.”

“What’s wrong?” Xavier asks.

“You’re what’s fucking wrong,” you say. “I know you’re flirting with literally every single counselor here. I fucking know I’m not the only one.”

“Y/N--” he begins, but you stop him.

“No, fucking listen to me for once,” you say after taking a bite of bacon, and he falls silent. “I thought I was the only one. I was gonna give you a chance, but after all of that? No thanks; I’ll pass.”

“I--” he starts, and you cut him off again.

“I’m not done,” you say angrily. “I want something serious. I want a relationship, not something where I have to contend with a man who flirts around and can’t decide who he wants. I want commitment, love, joy. Clearly, none of that is what you can give.”

“I don’t understand why that’s such a big deal,” Xavier says softly. “I--”

“You wanna know?” you ask, your voice raised a little. You lower it as a few counselors turn in your direction, not wanting to attract too much attention. “It’s a huge fucking deal to me, because I’m a virgin. Okay?”

His eyes widen at that admission, and he gapes before finding his voice. “You...what? Really?”

“Really,” you confirm. “I want my first time to be with someone special, so I haven’t experienced it yet. Wanna know why? Because all men I’ve considered always ended up being like you.”

Xavier hangs his head in shame, and when he looks at you again, his expression is remorseful. “I’m so sorry, Y/N. I didn’t know; I feel like such a jerk.”

“That’s because you are one,” you say, tossing your napkin onto the tray of your half-eaten meal. “So, if your objective has been trying to get in my pants, then you’re wasting your time. I’m not giving my virginity to you.”

“I do want only you,” he says, and you laugh humorlessly. “Seriously! I only flirted with the others because I thought you didn’t like me.”

“I did like you, until you threw yourself at every piece of ass here,” you spit, getting up from the table. “I’m going to shoot some arrows at the archery station. Please don’t bother following me.”

He didn’t.

********

The next few days were quite eventful on the Xavier front. Every time you turned around, it seemed Xavier was right there with another lame tall tale. He was sorry, he would do better, he would stop flirting with others, he would spend more time with you and less with them. You rebuffed him each time, not wanting to hear another word of it.

But then he actually did stop flirting around, and he was there to lend a sincere helping hand when you needed it. In your mind, you interpreted all of these sudden changes as him wanting to be your first. After all, most men had a secret obsession with virginal women—or not so secret, in some cases. Xavier was a playboy, there was no doubt about that. So, who’s to say that he didn’t possess the same sick need to be the one taking your virginity? You were nothing but a bragging right to him, and your anxiety & temper about it finally boiled over as the two of you swam in the lake.

“You truly are a pretty girl,” Xavier says as you surface from a dive. “Even when doing the smallest things.”

“Can you not do this?” you beg. “Please. I came out here to cool off, not listen to more of your bullshit.”

He holds his hands up in mock surrender, a wide grin on his lips. “Sorry. I just feel bad for what happened, and I wanted to show you how sorry I really am.”

“Just don’t flirt with me,” you say. “That’s all you need to do, if you really wanna prove it to me.”

He nods with a sigh, and you float on your back. The sky is a clear, cloudless blue, so mesmerizing and also a bit terrifying. How easy it was to get lost in such an abyss and how simple it was to associate that color blue with Xavier’s eyes...Those beautiful baby blues that seemed so endless, like a vast ocean or sky that would take and take and take--

You stop yourself, taking a deep breath and plunging below the water. You allow it to carry you, swaying you gently to and fro, not sure what doing so will accomplish. Perhaps you wanted to drown the thoughts of him away, or maybe it was as simple as wanting to hide. The anger flashes through your mind again, that comment he’d made minutes earlier churning through your insides. You go up, gulping air into your lungs and pushing some hair from your eyes as you glare daggers at him.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” he asks curiously. “What have I done now?”

“What you always do,” you say, swimming away from him. “You do realize these half-assed attempts won’t work, right? I know what your angle is.”

“And what is it?” Xavier asks irritably. “Please tell me what you think is going on in MY head.”

“You only want to try and ‘prove’ yourself so I change my mind and let you fuck me,” you spat. “It’s not working, Xavier.”

“Y/N,” Xavier says in frustration. “That’s not why! You aren’t some meaningless piece of ass to me. I know your stance; if I was gonna use you, I would have given up already. It was clear that you wouldn’t change your mind, so it wouldn’t have been worth it to keep trying.”

“I call bullshit,” you say, climbing out of the lake and shaking water from your ears. “I’m sorry, but I don’t believe it.”

You look back at him as you grab your towel. He’s quiet, but the expression on his face was akin to a man in love. The glint in his eyes, the awestruck look, the dopey grin. You can’t stop the laugh that rips from your chest at the sight, but as you walk away, your heart pangs at the thought of what it may mean.

This wasn’t going to be easy, was it?

***********

A couple days after the lake incident, the counselors gathered at the dock to enjoy a barbecue and some sunbathing. That is, all the counselors except you; you took up the offer to clean Margaret’s cabin. Anything that kept you away from Xavier was exactly what you needed. It wasn’t that he was bothering you; you were past that point now. In fact, you actually wanted to see him more, after seeing the lovestruck expression on his face days earlier. But you told yourself you wouldn’t get attached or fall for him any harder; it would only end in a heartbreak that you possibly couldn’t recover from.

You begin dusting Margaret’s mantel when you hear Xavier at the front door. “Y/N?”

Your blood runs cold, and you swallow hard past the lump in your throat. “Yeah?” you manage, poking your head into the front room.

“I had to come and see you,” Xavier says, wringing his hands anxiously. “I know you don’t want to hear it, but all I’m asking is that you hear me out. Okay?”

You sigh, sitting behind her desk as you dust your hands off. “You can try, but no promises that I’ll believe you.”

He nods in understanding, taking a deep breath. “Listen, I know you think that I’m only after you for sex. I know you think I’m lying when I say that isn’t true, but I honestly don’t want you just for that reason. I truly think that you’re beautiful and that you’re the best girl I’ve ever met. You’re all I’ve thought about from the moment we met, and as much as I wish you would get out of my head, it won’t happen. I don’t care that you’re a virgin; I like you for you. I flirted with the others, because I didn’t wanna fall deeply for you. I know you’d never go for a guy like me. Why would you? A goddess like you is way out of my league, anyway.”

“Xavier--” you begin, but he cuts you off.

“I’m not done,” he says, taking another deep breath. “I know I screwed up by being too flirty, but I’m determined to make it up to you. I’ll do whatever it takes to prove to you that I’m telling the truth. I really am sorry, and knowing that I hurt you causes me pain, too. I just...I’m an idiot and I really screwed up. I didn’t know what a good thing I was losing. It’s just something I’m always going to have to live with, and I hope you can forgive me someday.”

You’re silent, staring at him in astonishment. Xavier, apparently taking this as the worst possible sign, turns to leave. Before he can, though, you rest a hand on his arm to stop him. The realization that he’s telling the truth hits you full force, and you can’t just let him walk away. The efforts he took to find you and come clean, to pour his heart out...If he truly was after sex, it wouldn’t have occured to him to do any of it. He would have kept persisting, but this? It wasn’t the standard, run-of-the-mill player nonsense. It was genuine.

“Wait,” you whisper, eyes flicking to meet his. “Please don’t go.”

“But--” he begins.

Before he can formulate a complete response, your lips press to his in a soft, chaste kiss. It’s quicker than you intended, but you hope he received the message loud & clear. He melts against your lips, the hint of a smile on his own as you draw back. The faintness of his grin fades quickly, replaced by a frown as he shakes his head. You can still feel the soft plumpness of his lips on yours, an electric tingle charging through them and settling between your legs. You look at him in confusion as he stares at the ground, wondering what’s going through his mind. Finally, he speaks it.

“Don’t kiss me unless you mean it,” he begs. “Please, Y/N.”

“I do mean it,” you assure him, brushing your fingers through the hair on the side of his head. “I really do. I know you’re being honest, Xavier. It took a lot of effort and I know you wouldn’t have bothered if you didn’t mean it. It’s too much to put yourself through for a single day of sex, and you know my stance. But you didn’t give up, and that’s how I know you mean it.”

The grin that forms on Xavier’s face threatens to split it in half. His hands land on your waist, coaxing you toward him until your chest is flush to his. He brushes hair from either side of your face with both of his hands, cupping your jaw and caressing your cheeks with his thumbs. He slowly comes in for another kiss, his warm, inviting lips finding yours once more. Your eyes slip closed, and an overwhelming urge to deepen the kiss washes over you. Your tongue trails over his lips after a moment, and you can feel him withdrawing. You whine in protest, but he shakes his head in response.

“Do you really want this?” Xavier asks, nervously chewing on his lower lip. “If you aren’t ready, then we don’t have to. Please don’t feel pressured, okay?”

“I do want it,” you say. “I really do. I wouldn’t be engaging you if I didn’t. I want it, Xavier; I want you.”

“I won’t let you down or break your heart,” Xavier promises. “You have my word on that.”

“I know,” you say, closing the space between you and sealing your lips to his again.

The kiss immediately deepens, with Xavier’s tongue swiping past yours as he grips the back of your neck. His lips taste of peppermint and a faint hint of citrus, and the combination is dizzying. It makes you crave more of him, and you lick the roof of his mouth as he shivers slightly. He backs you up, drawing away long enough to lead you to Margaret’s bed. He places you on the mattress, lips connecting to yours again. Your hands explore his back and torso, wanting to take in every single inch that’s accessible to you.

“Mmm,” he hums, mouth trailing over your jaw and down your neck. “Is it okay if I start taking your clothes off?”

“Yes,” you say, nuzzling against his scalp. “Go ahead.”

“You’re sure?” Xavier asks, and you chuckle as you give him a playful swat. “Ow!”

“It’s really fine,” you say. “If something is wrong, I’ll tell you. I swear.”

He tugs you up, lifting your shirt over your head and discarding it. He studies you, the way your chest heaves, the way you’re already reaching for him in anticipation, and he kisses you with such passion that it sends electricity throughout your body. You grab his shirt next, and as soon as you fist it, he stops the kiss to remove it. You take in every line of muscle with your fingers, relishing in the way he shudders beneath your touch. His lips attach to your neck again, leaving featherlight kisses all over your skin. You moan loudly as he kisses the area between your neck & shoulder, which prompts him to press his mouth even harder against that same spot.

“Shit, that feels so good,” you gasp, and you can feel him grinning against your neck.

“You’ll be surprised what feels good, babe,” he breathes, dragging his teeth along your neck and under your jaw. “I’ll show you.”

“Please,” you beg, grabbing his belt and unfastening it clumsily. “I want you to show me everything.”

“I will,” he promises. “I’ll be slow and gentle.”

“I trust you,” you say, gripping his hair as he kisses your collarbones. “Wholeheartedly.”

“What a pleasant turn of events,” Xavier jokes, winking as he coaxes your hips upward. “Lift yourself up, baby.”

You do as you’re told, allowing Xavier to remove your shorts. Xavier kisses you again as he throws them aside, his tongue pressing to yours as he runs a hand from your side to your hip. Your fingers fumble with his zipper, and after what seems to take forever, you get his pants unbuttoned. You shove them down as far as you can manage, and he kicks them to the floor. The two of you make out a little, with your bra & panties coming off along the way. When you remove his boxers, you both sit back to admire each other’s exposed bodies. Xavier’s cock is far bigger than you imagined, and you chew your lip anxiously as you wonder how much it’s going to hurt. Xavier, seemingly picking up on your anxiety, gives you a gentle, reassuring kiss.

“I’ll be cautious and I’ll make sure you’re ready,” he assures. “Can I just say, though...Your body is fucking perfect, Y/N. Perfect tits, perfect pussy, perfect everything.”

You blush a little, and Xavier begins kissing over your breasts. He explores every inch, pulling your nipple between his teeth. He’s very careful, but the sensation is one you’ve never felt before. It’s so good that your eyes flutter closed, a soft mewl falling from your lips as he starts sucking. Your noises grow in volume, your cunt throbbing as fresh arousal pools between your legs. His hand caresses your thigh, a violent shiver rolling down your spine as he touches a particularly sensitive area. He alternates, switching to the opposite nipple and giving it the same treatment as the other. You tug his hair, arching a little against the new, unfamiliar sensations coursing through your body.

“Xavier,” you mewl, eyes closed as he starts massaging your tits. He presses them together, burying his face in your chest and inhaling your scent. You giggle as he leaves small hickeys between them, the light marks soon darkening as his tongue runs over one nipple again. “It feels so nice.”

“I know something that’s gonna feel even better,” Xavier says, kissing down your stomach.

“What is it?” you question, sitting up on your elbows to get a good look at him.

“Eating your pussy,” he says, pulling you down a little as he settles between your legs. “You know what that is, don’t you?”

“Duh,” you say with a chuckle, biting back a moan as he kisses the top of your mound. “I’m not totally clueless, but I want you to do it. I want it so fucking much.”

“And you’ll get it,” he tells you, opening your legs a little further to observe your soaked cunt.

You take in the sight, just drinking it up. His pretty blue eyes fixated on your face as he presses the most delicate kisses to your inner thighs. The way his breath fans over your skin. The way his hair tickles your thighs, his earring catching the light as his strong arms grip your legs. It’s an image you never want to lose, and one you wanted burned into your mind forever. If he would ever leave you, God forbid...you wanted to memorize every last detail.

“Are you ready?” Xavier asks, running his tongue slowly along your groin.

“I’ve been ready,” you breathe, whining as he licks the opposite side. “Please, do it.”

Xavier gently opens your legs a bit further, two of his fingers parting your inner lips before running his tongue through them. The sensation that his wet, silky tongue leaves behind is nothing short of incredible, and it’s much better than you ever imagined. He hums as your taste floods his mouth, his eyes slipping closed as he relishes in it. You shiver as his tongue flicks your clit, the touch so soft and light that you almost couldn’t register it. His arms remain around your thighs, his large hands gripping the areas above your knees. As his lips brush over each side of your pussy, his thumbs caress the hollows of your knees as a bit of reassurance, calming your nerves even more.

“How are you doing?” Xavier asks, sucking your left lip. “Good?”

“Very good,” you confirm, playing with the little stray piece of hair on his forehead. “I love it so much. Please don’t stop.”

“I won’t unless you tell me to,” Xavier says, massaging the same area with his tongue as his fingers trail through your slick, messy cunt. “Do you mind if I finger you?”

“No, go ahead,” you say, crying out in pleasure as his finger slowly pushes inside, stopping only when he’s in to the last knuckle. “Xavier...That...It’s amazing.”

“I know, baby,” he coos, working his finger against your sweet spot as he laps ast your clit. “I know.”

You arch instinctively as he curls his finger, and the mixed sensations of that & his tongue send jolts up your spine. His eyes never leave your face, wanting to see your reactions and how your body moves in response, and it occurs to you that he’s doing as you had moments ago. He wants to keep this memory, in case he cannot have it again after today. But you already know that he didn’t need to worry, just as you, unknowingly, didn’t need to worry about it, either.

“Can I add another finger?” Xavier asks gently, kissing along your outer labia. “Or would that be too much?”

“Try it,” you say. “If it’s too much, I’ll tell you.”

He nods, carefully adding a second finger. It doesn’t hurt, but you feel fuller than before. It isn’t too unpleasant, but it does feel a little odd at first. Every time you touched yourself in the past, it was more clitoral stimulation than fingering, so it was a little weird with someone else doing it for you. Besides, his fingers were longer and thicker than yours, which only added to the foreign sensation they left. You clench instinctively, and he groans lowly against your clit in response.

“You’re so beautiful,” Xavier rasps, his free hand snaking up your side and landing on one of your breasts. “The most beautiful girl in the world.”

You’re so lost in pleasure that you don’t even roll your eyes at his comment, instead feeling a familiar tightness in your lower belly. The way he’s sucking on your clit, pumping his fingers, and playing with your breast are enough to tip you, but you aren’t ready to fall yet. You want to prolong it as much as possible, to savor it. Who knows how long it would be until you could have it again, especially with Margaret and her bullshit “no sex” rules. Knowing Xavier, however, he would find a way.

But would he find a way with you again?

You shake those thoughts from your head, bringing yourself back to present. Xavier’s fingers rub against your G-spot, just as his lips envelop your clit again. He shakes his head rapidly back & forth, applying more pressure with his mouth. He swipes his thumb over your hard nipple, pinching in time with his tongue. You don’t have time to warn him that you’re cumming, your orgasm washing over you and casting you into a pleasurable abyss. You gush all over his fingers, his name spilling from your lips as you close your eyes while the high takes you. You’d given yourself many orgasms over the years, but this was much better by far. There was just something about having someone do it for you that was intoxicating, and you crave more already. You were so sensitive, however, that just the feeling of him dragging his nose through your folds brings pain.

Xavier pulls his fingers out, drawing his head away as you shove it. “Are you okay, babe?”

“I’m amazing,” you breathe. “Just a little sensitive, that’s all.”

“Not bad for your first time, huh?” Xavier asks as he slowly climbs up your body.

“Not at all,” you breathe, tugging him down for a hot kiss. You can taste your pussy on his mouth, his lips still slick with your juices before you lick it away. “You’re fucking good at that.”

“You’re just saying that because you have nothing to compare it to,” Xavier teases, his lashes fluttering as you close your hand around his erection. “Oh fuck, baby…”

His cock feels heavy in your hand, and pleasantly warm as you glide your hand up and down. It takes you a second to get a proper rhythm, and Xavier is happy to help you. He places his hand on yours, guiding you, showing you how it’s done. You take in every ridge, every bit of skin, every motion, getting used to how he feels before he fucks you. You’re a little nervous, but at the same time, you can’t wait. You trust Xavier, you know he’s going to be careful, but there’s still part of you that’s scared.

“Fuck,” Xavier hisses, peering at you with a soft smile. “Are you ready?”

You nod, taking a deep breath and exhaling slowly to try and calm your nerves. “I am. Just...go slow, okay?”

“I promise I will,” Xavier says, rubbing his cock through your folds to help you adjust to the feel. “On three.”

You count down, and Xavier begins pushing inside. A burning, tearing pain sears through your core, and you wince as you squeeze your eyes shut. The pressure is intense, unpleasant, and you worry that you won’t be able to do this after all. Xavier stops immediately, not going any further yet. You wonder if there’s blood and how much, but the thought is so scary that you push it away quickly. This was supposed to be fun and enjoyable, not something to fear. However, the pain is so great that it takes you away from any other thought. It makes focusing on pleasure a little difficult, but you trust Xavier and the process.

“Does it hurt too much, baby?” Xavier questions, kissing over your neck in a soothing manner. “Should I stop?”

“No, I’m okay,” you assure him. “It hurts, but I don’t want you to stop.”

He nods, kissing you tenderly before continuing to slowly push inside of you. It’s still painful, so he stops occasionally to give you more time to adjust. But soon, the uncomfortable pressure begins to dissipate, and you can feel every little bit of him. He’s probably in halfway now--or a little over that, but it’s all you can take. He’s massive, and you can’t accommodate all of him right now, but that’s fine with you. What you’re already feeling is nothing short of incredible, and is far from what you imagined in the best way possible. Pain was temporary; your focus was on the present, and it was perfect now.

“How are you feeling?” Xavier asks as he gazes into your eyes. “Is it still really painful?”

“No, I’m better now,” you say, kissing him hotly before clenching around him. It feels so strange, but it’s a good strange. “Please go deeper; I think I can take it.”

Xavier inches in a bit deeper, getting a little more progress before you stop him. Tears prickle at your eyes as fresh pain rips through your core, and Xavier shakes his head. “That’s enough for now, babe. I’m in far enough, don’t worry.”

You open your mouth to tell him that you’re fine, but he gives that first slow, shallow thrust and you soon forget. A moan slips from your lips, and you cling to him as he sets a careful pace. He keeps the slow rhythm, not daring to speed up in fear of hurting you. He looks into your eyes, not wavering his gaze as his muscular arms flex with every move he makes. One of your hands grips his back, the other holding the base of his neck to pull him down for a kiss. The pain is slowly melting away, replaced by the most overwhelming ecstasy you’ve ever felt.

“Fuck, I can’t get over how good you feel,” Xavier breathes, pressing tender kisses to your cheeks and jawline. “You’re so tight, so wet.”

“I guess the tightness was to be expected,” you tease, forehead against his as he comes up for another kiss.

“It was,” he says against your lips, smiling as he begins breathing heavily. He’s still set at a slow, romantic pace, but you’re in no hurry to make him go faster. “Baby…”

“Xavier,” you whine, his lips attaching to your upper chest as he hums lowly.

“You’re doing so well,” he praises. “You’re taking my cock so well, babe. I knew you could; I think you were really meant for me.”

“Strangely, I do, too,” you say, head falling back with a moan as he hits directly into the spot that makes you see stars. “Shit, do that again.”

Xavier thrusts against that spot once more, and you dig into his back momentarily. He moans softly at the feeling of your nails in his skin, hooking your legs over his waist to hit at a deeper angle. Another burning sensation tears through you, but it isn’t as bad or long-lasting as the first had been. He brings your lips to his in a heated, passionate kiss, conveying all emotion into it. If it hadn’t already been clear how he felt for you, that one kiss would have sealed the deal.

Xavier Plympton was going to be the death of you, wasn’t he?”

“I love how well you’re handling this,” Xavier says. “You’re so fucking good, babe. I’m gonna take even better care of you, okay? I promise.”

You smile, but it’s soon wiped from your face as you turn toward the front door. No one is there, but the fact that Margaret could return at any minute made your blood run cold. You pull Xavier’s face toward yours with a worried expression, but he doesn’t seem to notice your concern.

“Xav, what if Margaret comes back?” you ask anxiously. “We’ve been here for awhile.”

“She won’t,” Xavier assures. “It’s gonna be okay. I overheard her saying that she was going to town for supplies and would be gone all day. She left Trevor and Bertie in charge.”

“I’d be surprised if the camp is still standing when she gets back,” you joke, gripping his back a little tighter as his lips find your nipple. “Mmm…”

Xavier reaches down, rubbing your clit as your body tenses. He takes it as a painful reaction, slowly removing his hand before you grab his wrist to stop him. You shake your head, placing his hand back on your clit and holding it there as he grins. He presses his forehead to yours, gazing into your eyes as you both moan hotly. You nuzzle against him as his thrusts gain speed, and all initial discomfort is soon forgotten. Your head tips back, eyes shut for a moment before they snap open when he growls lowly.

“Fuck,” he hisses. “I never want this to end.”

“I don’t, either,” you admit. “Even if Margaret does walk in, I don’t want you to stop.”

“She won’t,” Xavier says. “Even if she did, what is she gonna do? Make us clean the whole camp? It would be so worth it!”

“Please keep doing that,” you beg, pushing against his hand for emphasis. “I’m getting really close.”

“Me too, baby,” Xavier whispers, one hand still working aa he uses the other for balance. “You��re sure it’s okay to cum inside of you?”

“Yes,” you say. “As long as it’s okay with you.”

“You first,” Xavier says, rubbing your clit in harder, faster circles. “Come on, baby. I know you want to.”

You almost roll your eyes, but you’re too lost in your pleasure to care about his comment. One more sharp thrust and a couple more swipes to your clit send the coil loose, tipping you over the edge into bliss. You cum the hardest you ever have before--including earlier--scratching down his back hard enough to draw a little blood. You cry out his name, your orgasm washing over you in a long wave. It feels like you’re drowning, your head spinning, your breath stolen, his sweaty body still pressed to yours.

Xavier cums after, and a new warmth soon spreads inside of you. You can barely register it, but it feels amazing nonetheless as he gently bites your neck. His cock twitches as he finishes, pulling out to collapse next to you. Some of his seed drips from your pussy, gathering onto the bed below. You’re both panting, lying there as you try to collect yourselves. The smell of sex and crisp summer air billow around the room, but neither of you are bothered. You’re too absorbed in the afterglow to care.

After a few moments of silence, Xavier scoops you in his arms. He hugs your sticky, slightly shaky body to his, lips pressing to the top of your head. “I don’t wanna let you go, Y/N.”

“Who says you have to?” you ask, looking up at him with a smile. “You don’t have to, you know.”

“Good,” Xavier says, running a finger down your cheek. “Because I really don’t want to.”

“Thank you so much for making my first time so special,” you say as you kiss his cheek. “I’m really glad that this happened, Xavier. I mean it, and I’m sorry I was so cold before. You were such a gentleman, and I’m sorry I ever doubted that.”

“It’s okay,” Xavier says. “It’ll get better after the first time. It’s never the most pleasant, but it’s smooth sailing after that. So I’ve heard.”

“I thought it went well enough,” you say as you gaze up at him. “But I can’t wait to do it again.”

“We have all summer, babe,” Xavier says joyously. “Beyond that, too!”

You chuckle, rolling him onto his back as you kiss him hungrily. For the first time since arriving at Camp Redwood, you found yourself excited for the remainder of the summer. While the two of you had sex again--this time far more satisfactory than last--you couldn’t help but feel happy for everything ahead.

______________

Taglist!

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