#i’m just supposed to. what. accept this quietly? i’m sick in the head. Sorry

[dirtbra1n]

minds in half a dozen places or so I need to be able to do more than one thing at a time. hanzashiro is calling to me like at least two different videogames are calling to me library book that could be used as a murder weapon is calling to me. Hanzashiro Is Calling To Me.

[dottores]

HELIOTROPES

pairing: dottore x fem!reader & segments

summary: the gods were sick and twisted. for five hundred years, he believed he was fated to be alone. he had long accepted it—embraced it, even. that is, until a midwinter night when that elusive red thread finally appeared on his finger. but as much as he wants to ignore it, the pull of a soulmate simply cannot be ignored.

genre: soulmate au, canon compliant for the most part.

warnings: fem!reader, worldbuilding for snezhnaya & fatui & fontaine, theta hurts reader but only a little, this was not edited sorry for mistakes 😭

notes: alrighty guys, this is officially the last chapter of the regular schedule—after this one, updates are going to be sporadic but they will at the very least be monthly. wish i could keep up the schedule but its not going to be feasible considering i start law school this upcoming wednesday </3 i'll update the masterlist to reflect the change too

SPIT IN MY FACE

“Excuse me?”

The masked man—had Gamma called him Theta?—kept a tight grip on your wrist, holding it up in front of you so he could look at it himself. He was stronger than he looked, you tried to rip your wrist out of his hold but failed. His nails dug into your skin in response to the attempt, drawing blood. You grimaced as you watched a thin line of red seep down your forearm. 

“You heard me.” Theta’s smile didn’t budge as his other hand came up to grab your chin, turning your head away from where Kappa was still buried in the crook of your neck to face him. “Was he trying to keep you hidden away or were you trying to hide from us?”

He wasn’t looking at your hand. He was looking at your finger or more specifically… where your thread was hanging from it, leading off somewhere to the left of you wherever Dottore was. You remembered how Kappa had looked down at your hand curiously before deciding to come over to you, the way he was so at ease with you for no reason. And Gamma. Gamma had looked at your hand before he started panicking and ran off.

Could they… see it?

“Hm?” Theta’s nails dug into your cheeks now, just like how he had with the aristocrat—you didn’t even know where they went, if they had taken the opportunity to flee or if he had done something to immobilize them, you couldn’t turn your head to check. You grimaced as you felt his nails break skin again. “Answer me.”

How was that possible?

You could all but taste the poison in his words, the impatience and the frustration. You were at a loss as to how to proceed—your arms were tied up with Kappa, one of your hands was stuck in his and he was forcing you to look at him, and that unhinged look in his red eyes was causing your brain to fog with fear.

Think. You had to think. You had to free your wrist from his hand. You had to get back to your room, or to Pantalone’s. 

Where was Pantalone? Livid, you realized that the man was probably still listening in on the show, not getting involved, leaving you to deal with this unstable bastard. 

Think. What did he want to hear? What would make him settle down at least enough to loosen his grip on you?

But how the hell were you supposed to know what he wanted you to hear? Even with just the way he spat out those two questions, you knew both answers were wrong and would set him off more. But you had to say something, the longer you went without answering his question, the more his eyes flamed with impatience—you didn’t want to know what would happen when that thin thread of patience snapped.

“I came here, didn’t I?” you asked quietly. You tried to relax your shoulders and upper body, exuding a type of faux-comfort with the man. “I came looking for you.”

Theta’s red eyes narrowed with suspicion, watching you carefully—his grip did not waver, much to your distress. 

“You don’t even know who I am,” he said coldly, speaking the one truth you’d hoped he wouldn’t. His grip on your wrist tightened and his nails dug deeper into your cheeks. “I hate liars.”

“I’m not lying,” you told him, grimacing as his nail dragged against your skin. Kappa shifted in your arms, bristling, you couldn’t tell if he was watching or not. “You can see the thread, no? I may not fully understand how you can see it but the fact that you can speaks enough.”

Theta hesitated, the corner of his lip dipping in doubt as he tried to decide whether or not he thought you were lying. You watched with bated breath, tongue kissing the inside of your teeth, as a flurry of emotions rushed through his eyes ranging from anger to hesitancy and hope. Then his eyes hardened, decision made, and your heart sunk to your stomach.

“Liar.”

Again, his grip tightened but it was painful now and your body begged you to pull away or do something but he was stronger than you. He forced you closer to him, turning you so that if Kappa wasn’t between you, you would’ve been chest-to-chest with him. You wondered if you should let him go, let him flee somewhere safe, but he was still clutching your shirt.

Theta leaned in close, you could feel his breath hot against your cheek and the cool ceramic of his mask nudging against your skin where his nose would have been. You grit your teeth together as you felt something warm and wet press against the skin of your cheek where his nails had broken through, lapping at the blood.

Your face felt hot, anger and humiliation curdling your blood as Theta let out a puff of amused laughter against your skin.

“You taste like a liar too,” Theta crooned. “Lambda thinks you’re a fake sent to distract us. Are you a fake, little liar?”

Us. He kept saying us but you don’t know what that meant or how it was possible—they could see the thread but as far as you could tell, they did not have a connecting one. You had never seen anything like that before, nor had you ever read about anything like that. 

You thought you should say something but your mind was reeling as you tried to piece together the puzzle and figure out what was going on.

But before you could do or say anything, Kappa squirmed and twisted in your arms, hanging over you to whack his small fist hard against Theta’s mask—with more strength than you expected from the boy. 

Theta grunted stumbling back—he wasn’t hurt but the force of Kappa’s swing had partially knocked his mask off, revealing thick scars similar to the ones you had seen on Gamma. He fumbled trying to straighten out the mask and as he did, you whirled around to rush to your room.

You didn’t get far. 

Not because of Theta, who was cursing as he fastened the mask back on, but because you slammed right into someone else’s chest, broad and dressed in dark clothes. You glanced up as a pair of gloved hands grabbed your waist, irritation rising at Pantalone’s thin, close-eyed smile. You wondered if you had passed or failed whatever test he expected from this situation. 

The pads of his fingers pressed into your waist as he shifted you over to the side and behind him, leveling his attention on Theta as the man straightened back, narrowed eyes still trained on you instead of the Harbinger. 

“Theta.” Venom dripped from Pantalone’s words as he spoke his name. “I suggest you make your way back to the Doctor’s labs instead of bothering my guest.”

“Your?” Theta spat out, taking a step forward. His eyes were wild again now, far gone from the hardened look he had directed toward you after he made his decision. You stiffened, watching as Pantalone lifted his chin, raising his eyebrows, challenging Theta. “She is not your anything, banker. Go back to counting your coins and sucking noble cock to get further in the world, stay out of our business.”

Pantalone, to his credit, did not look bothered by the dig—the only sign of anger was the way his lip twitched before he spoke: “Take it up with your maker, fraud. You have no authority here, you are not the Doctor.”

“I am-” 

Sharp and loud, Theta’s voice rang up and down the hall as he took two long steps forward as if to attack Pantalone but the Harbinger only let out a huff of amusement as he cut Theta off mid-shout.

“I am not one of the subordinates who you can fool into believing you are him. You are a rabid dog running a thin line between life and death. It is only a matter of time before you’re put down, I again suggest you leave before I make that day come sooner.” 

You thought that you shouldn’t feel anything for the man standing a few paces away but something deep in you clenched when Theta drew back as if he’d been physically slapped, red eyes wide with shock. The feeling did not last long though because as quick as the hurt appeared, it was gone, twisting into something far more sinister as a wide smile spread across his lips, teeth bared much like the rabid dog Pantalone claimed him to be. 

“You think you can kill me?” 

Something manic stained his words, deranged and challenging as if he meant for Pantalone to back his words right then and there. Theta did not have a vision, not one that you could see or feel at least, but you knew in your bones that he was far, far more dangerous than he looked—he was strong and he moved faster than any visionless human you’d ever seen. Briefly, you wondered if he even was hu-

Pantalone stepped forward and the air around the four of you crackled with an energy that made your skin crawl. You let out a shaky breath, eyes widening as you took a step away from the man, unconsciously trying to get away from the source of the energy, an unnatural and uncomfortable feeling spreading through you. 

What is that? 

It felt sick. Corrupted. The air tasted stale and rotted as it seeped down the halls like poison. Your vision was reacting in response to it, the purity of the hydro energy trying to repel the new, malefic energy but it was curling all around you, trying to find chinks in the thin shield your vision was providing you from the decay. 

You had to get away from it but your feet were rooted to the ground, watching the scene play out before you. Neither Theta nor Pantalone looked bothered by the energy—in fact, Theta looked thrilled, eyes alight as his impossibly wide smile widened even more, a giggle slipping from his lips as he raised his hand as if to summon something, but before he could snap his fingers, his eyes dulled and his knees hit the ground hard. Almost like he had been turned off, just like that.

What-

At once, the energy around Pantalone dissipated and you could move, confusion riddling your mind as you tried to figure out what happened to Theta and what that disgusting energy was. You took a step forward, eyes wide and trained on Theta first—was that Pantalone’s doing? But as you turned to look at him, your gaze caught sight of a figure down the hall. 

Dottore. 

You were bleeding. 

Dottore could feel his cheeks stinging but he hadn’t been sure what it was until he got to the hall in Pantalone’s wing where Gamma had left you. Theta was on the ground, empty-eyed and still, turned off courtesy of Dottore, and Pantalone was standing to the side of you, seemingly unimpressed by the whole situation. 

But you were looking at him, and only him, and he could only focus on you, eyes tracing the blood as it dripped down your cheeks to your neck, dribbling down your skin. With creased brows and lips pressed together tightly, he couldn’t tell if the look you were directing toward him was suspicion or anger or something else entirely. The only thing he could feel from you was what he assumed were the remnants of the confrontation with Theta: fear, anxiety, skepticism, confusion, disgust. 

Disgust, was that directed toward him or Theta or both of them? It didn’t sit well with him. He wondered how much Theta had told you, and he wondered how much you’d been able to piece together from what he had. Dottore had been hoping to keep the existence of the segments a secret from you. 

The last thing he wanted to have to do was get into depth about what they were because if he knew you even half as well as he thought he did, he knew it would turn into an interrogation of all that he’d been up to with his research. Even when you were young, when the third phase of the bond had first manifested, he had to be careful about what he was thinking about so that it wasn’t transcribed to you. Countless times he received words from you that could have only been originally given by him: the names of the segments, residue, deactivate, and Dottore knew that you must be taking every word he sent you to relentlessly research into them. 

“Doctor,” Pantalone finally drawled as Dottore came to a stop in front of them, forcing his attention away from you just for a second. “It’s about time that you’ve leashed your mad dog, I’m quite tired of dealing with him.”

Dottore didn’t acknowledge his words. Instead, he focused his attention back onto you—the only apparent wounds were the deep scratch marks on your cheek and wrist, painful but mostly superficial. It would heal in a few days at most, he would pass along an ointment to Pantalone so he could give it to you to speed along the healing process. 

The issue for Dottore laid in the boy tucked neatly in your arms, hiding his face against your skin.

The Kappa segment. 

Dottore exhaled. That would be trouble trying to handle. The Kappa segment was skittish and nervous. He usually only stuck around Epsilon, Iota or Gamma, he even tried to avoid the other segments if he could. Dottore had a feeling that it was because they reminded him of their father but he couldn’t be sure. 

Either way, he had never latched onto someone like this before and Dottore had a feeling it would be an issue trying to get him away from you. He didn’t like shutting down the younger segments—or any of the segments for that matter because it tended to mess with their wiring—but he thought he might have to in order to get the kid back to the estate without alerting the entire palace to your presence and relationship to him. 

His eyes lingered on you, only for a few more moments, watching the way you held Kappa close, arms wrapped around him tightly as if to shield him from danger. Kappa seemed like he was on the verge of dozing off, his shoulders rising and falling steadily—he’d never seen him so comfortable with someone that wasn’t Epsilon before. Something unfamiliar tightened his chest. Longing? Desire? Whatever it was, he didn’t like it. 

He looked away sharply, finally turning his attention to Pantalone. 

“Regrator, don’t act as if you spend all of your free time reluctantly handling my segments. You are usually asking for them, in fact,” Dottore said dryly. He barely spared you another look as he said: “I’ll handle this. Go back to your room and rest.”

Your face twisted and Dottore bit back a sigh, realizing that round three of his war of words with you was about to begin.

“I am not a child,” you shot back, voice tight. “You can’t just send me to my room. I have questions and you will give me answers now. I’ve waited long enough.”

Dottore had a feeling that you were not just talking about the past few hours. You were talking about the decade he had spent ignoring your existence. Unfortunately for you, he had no interest in answering your questions, not now or ever. 

He turned his attention back to Pantalone, ignoring the furious look that spread across your face at being blatantly ignored. Luckily—or unluckily, time would tell—Epsilon stepped in. He watched as your brows dipped in suspicion, looking between Epsilon and Dottore warily. If you hadn’t put together something was very, very wrong with the existence of Kappa, Gamma and Theta already, he had a feeling that Epsilon’s appearance just sealed it. 

Dottore turned away as Epsilon took your hand in his to press his lips to your knuckles before he gently led you in the direction of the door on the left. Gamma and Iota followed behind, the latter far more excited than the former. Gamma cast one last pleading look in Dottore’s direction just as Iota slammed the door shut behind them. 

Dottore, as he turned his attention to Theta’s still body, thought this might just be the worst case scenario. All three of the children. Theta. Epsilon. The last segments Dottore wanted meeting you all somehow managed to do just that within hours of you being in Zapolyarny. This would spread to all of the rest of the segments in no time and then he would have Zeta demanding to see proof of your existence and Rho lurking about curious; he’d have Delta bashing down the palace door to get Iota away from you, convinced by Lambda that you were only here to deceive them. And he’d have Lambda doing god knows what to try to remove your existence from their lives so they could continue their research without distraction. 

He needed a plan of action and he needed it fast but first, he had to deal with this. 

“What happened?” 

“Two aristocrats came up looking for the Kappa segment,” Pantalone said off-handedly. “Your soulmate interfered.”

“Interfered?” Dottore demanded. “What was she doing wandering around?”

Pantalone raised his eyebrows. “Was I meant to lock her in her room?”

Dottore looked at him coldly, silently telling him yes, he should have. They could not afford to have any of their subordinates run into you, much less any of the Harbingers and he knew that some of them would be searching for you. He remembered Columbina’s cryptic comment about you a few months ago, Sandrone’s fury at your presence in Snezhnaya, Arlecchino’s odd interest in you—and if Arlecchino was interested, it was only a matter of time before she sent her attack dog after you to find out whatever she wanted to know. Keeping you isolated from the rest of the Fatui was paramount.

“What happened with Theta?” Dottore asked after Pantalone let out an exaggerated sigh of agreement. 

“What always happens with Theta,” Pantalone said dismissively. “He gets set off and lashes out. Was going on about her faking the bond, apparently Lambda is going around convincing them she’s lying.”

Of course, Dottore thought bitterly. He knew that Lambda had been talking to Zeta, Delta and Rho but he thought the segment knew better than to get Theta wound up about this. 

He took a deep breath, taking a step away to calm himself down. Well, that made that decision: the first thing he had to do was talk to Lambda, he couldn’t have him turning the segments against you, least of all Theta, who was very liable to attack those that he thinks did him wrong. After that, he would figure out what to do with the rest of the segments because in stopping Lambda, he would have to admit to them all that you were his soulmate, that this was all real. 

That this was all real. 

Dottore shut his eyes briefly, unconsciously looking in the direction of where you, Epsilon and the kids had disappeared behind the dark door that led to your room. His body itched to follow them in there—the bond in work, surely, but he could feel it was getting stronger. It was stronger than it was while he had been dancing with you, and even stronger than it had been while talking to you outside of the washroom. He should just grab Theta and drag him back down to his lab, leaving Epsilon to deal with your interrogation, but his feet weren’t cooperating.

“You should speak to her,” Pantalone said as he turned to go back to his own room. “If you’re going to have me confine her to this wretched place, you should at the very least, explain to her why… lest you have a very unhappy soulmate on your hands. I doubt that would be conducive to productivity.” 

Dottore hummed dismissively, glancing back at the door once. He supposed should, he didn’t want to deal with your turbulent emotions, especially when he was going to be dealing with the segments. 

Distantly, a part of him wondered if he was just using that as a logical excuse to give in to the pull of the bond. 

“And Doctor, do get me that prototype by the morning as promised.”

You felt overwhelmed. The older boy, Gamma, was sitting in the corner of your room, knees tucked to his chest as he watched you with the younger two. Kappa was fast asleep now, tiny arms slung around your neck as he slept—you had tried to place him down on your bed but whenever you tried to pull him away from you, his arms tightened and he started stirring awake. The other one, you didn’t know his name yet, was kneeling on the floor next to the bed where you were sitting, big red eyes peeked above the comforter, watching you with varying degrees of suspicion and distrust and longing.

He had the same scar on the upper half of his face that Gamma did, you couldn’t help but notice, down to the burn patterns and wrinkles. And they were identical, if Gamma was a few years younger, he’d be the spitting image of the kid. It was impossible. Not even brothers can be so similar as to be identical down to the wrinkles and patterns in scars. 

So, what were they?

You had to have been onto something when you thought it was some sort of experiment—Kappa was too young to have been born eight years ago, Gamma and the new kid were too similar in appearances, if you saw correctly when Kappa partially knocked off the mask even Theta seemed to have some scars on his face, and Theta and Kappa both showed a strength that did not reflect in their body.

A throat being cleared knocked you out of your thoughts, your eyes drew up from the kids to where the man was standing near the door. He gave you a small, apologetic smile as his eyes met yours—red and gentle. 

Who was this?

You watched the man with thinly veiled suspicion. He looked just like Dottore, silvery blue hair styled the same way and even wearing a similar dark button-up that he did. 

Except unlike Dottore, he was not wearing a mask. 

His skin was smooth compared to the scars of the children and instead of the ever-present frown of Dottore, the corner of his lips were turned up. You had grown used to the cold aloofness of your soulmate over the years, it unnerved you how someone could look so much like him and yet feel entirely different. 

You raised your chin as Epsilon came to sit on the edge of the bed next to you, keeping your expression stony, studying him to try to figure out what he wanted from you.

“Peace,” he murmured. “I’d just like to make sure you’re okay.”

“I’m fine.” 

He had a white handkerchief between his fingers and you were acutely aware of the blood still dripping down your cheeks and arm. He raised his eyebrows, but sighed when he realized you weren’t going to budge, placing the handkerchief back in his pocket. 

“Very well,” he said quietly. “I’m sure you have questions. I can answer them if you’d like.”

Of course you had questions, but could you trust him to answer them? 

He didn’t appear as if he was trying to deceive you, his eyes were warm and his lips were lax, he had none of that tightness that Dottore usually had. Was he faking it? Or was he wanting to help you? You couldn’t tell, his demeanor was throwing you off.

“You’re really her?” a new, young voice said softly, voice hesitant but tinged with the slightest bit of hope that had your heart aching. You looked back toward the kid as he peered up at you through thick curls of hair cautiously. “Our soulmate?”

Our.

Your ears rang, distantly watching as the boy reached out for your hand, thin fingers playing with yours until he reached the one your thread was looped around. From the corner of your eye, you looked at the older man, who was watching you with a knowing expression.

Our.

How was that possible? He could clearly see your thread, trying to play with it and tug at it in the same way you used to as a child, but he had no connecting one, like the Doctor did. Did that make you his soulmate but he was not yours? Was there such a thing as unrequited soulmates? But you didn’t think it was that simple, there was a critical piece of information you were still missing.

But the kid was looking at you again, anxiously awaiting your response, and you didn’t have the heart to deny him. Even if you weren’t sure what was going on, he could undeniably see your thread.

“Yes,” you finally said, watching as he lit up, red eyes pooling with tears and lips trembling as he flung himself forward, burying his face into your lap. He jostled Kappa, who kicked his foot out instinctively, but the kid was unbothered.

“I knew you were real.” His voice was muffled into the cloths of your dress. “Everyone said you weren’t but I knew you were.”

Your throat tightened and your now free hand twitched from where it was laying on the comforter of your bed, coming up to pat his head.

You let out a shaky breath, lifting your gaze to focus on the man still sitting on the edge of the bed, watching you with an indecipherable expression.

“I’ve never seen them take to someone like this before,” he said softly. “I suppose it’s just further proof that you are who you claim to be. Some of the others thought it might be a ploy.”

Others, you wondered distantly but you were more focused on the last thing he said, face twisting.

“I would not fake a soul bond,” you said tightly, mind turning to your stepfather and your mother, your dead father and your destroyed family.

“I insulted you,” he realized. “My apologies, it was not my intention. I was not one of the ones that thought that way but I figured it was best for you to know and prepare, some of them might doubt you when they meet you.”

“How many of you are there?” you asked, but the more important question that you just couldn’t push out was what are you?

“Excluding the Doctor, there are nine of us. I’m called Epsilon. Kappa is the youngest, then Iota, who is on your lap, and then Gamma, who’s sitting over there,” he explained.

You looked back over to where Gamma was sitting. He wasn’t looking at you anymore, staring out the window into the dark night… or maybe he was. Amused, you realized that he was still watching you carefully through the reflection of the window. As soon as he realized that you noticed what he was doing, he turned his head away quickly.

“He’ll warm up,” Epsilon said quietly. You looked back toward him, watching as his lips turned up, red eyes glittering, as if sharing some secret with you. “He’s nervous.”

You couldn’t help the way you let out a puff of amusement, studying Gamma and the way he was digging his nails into the palm of his hand and tapping his foot against the wood of the window nook incessantly. 

“I don’t… really understand all of this,” you finally admitted, relaxing a bit with Epsilon. You let yourself lean back against the large, decorative pillows set up on the bed, watching the man that looked eerily similar to Dottore, wondering if this was what he looked like beneath the mask as well.

“This is new for all of us too,” Epsilon told you, “so I can’t really explain to you what all of the bonds might be or mean… but I’m sure that is not what you’re asking right now, is it?”

“Not entirely, at least. First I’d like to understand…”

What you are. What they are. Why you can see the thread and why the children think that I’m their soulmate too.

“Well, I’ll do my best at explaining then. You deserve that much at least.”

The heavy weight on your chest lifted, if only a little. You thought that this might be the first time in weeks, months, that someone was actually giving you answers. Your father passed and left you with only questions, the masked person from the inn gave you even more questions and not a single answer, and now even Dottore refused to answer your questions, he just sent you away for Pantalone to deal with. 

“Thanks,” you said softly, eyes meeting his again.

Epsilon gave you a small smile, lips parting to speak but before he could say anything, the door to your room opened again. Your gaze shot up, eyes falling upon a familiar masked figure standing in the frame, lips pressed together tightly. 

“Epsilon,” Dottore said coldly. “Bring Theta down to the lab.”

Epsilon sighed heavily, shooting you an apologetic look before rising to his feet. “Another time,” he offered, and you nodded, disappointed, ignoring how Dottore’s lips turned downward.

Epsilon made his way out of the room, slipping past Dottore, and Gamma threw himself off the nook and scampered after Epsilon, fleeing the room without another look toward you. 

The door slam shut behind them, an eerie silence sweeping over the room as he left you with Dottore.

Dottore’s already sour mood worsened when Epsilon flung him a triumphant look as soon as his back was turned to you. He wondered what he said to you in those few minutes he was in here alone with you but for some reason, he doubted that you would tell him and he by no means wanted to add more fuel to the fire by appearing interested in you. Narrowed eyes followed Epsilon as he left the room, shutting the door harshly behind him and the Gamma segment so he could speak to you without unwelcome ears listening in.

The Kappa and Iota segments made no move to leave—one being fast asleep and the other now watching Dottore suspiciously, shifting behind you to peek over your shoulder at him. Dottore could see the boy clutching something in his hand, knuckles white around the object and arms tensed as if ready to throw it. Dottore raised his eyebrows, albeit knowing neither of you could see the action anyway. 

He ignored Iota and drew closer to the bed, taking a seat on the opposite side of the mattress that Epsilon had been sitting on as he observed you. You looked exhausted—your eyes looked heavy and tired, they didn’t have the same spark in them that they had earlier in the night, and the blood from the scratch marks on your was smeared messily, staining your skin and dress. 

Irritated, Dottore wondered why Epsilon hadn’t cleaned it up, pulling out a cloth from his jacket pocket and shifting a little closer. He grabbed your arm first, ignoring that tingling sensation as it reappeared as soon as the pads of his fingers were pressed against your bare skin, and especially ignoring the red thread tied around your finger. 

He could feel your eyes on him as he carefully wiped away the blood, distantly noting that Iota had shimmied out from behind you and was darting to the opposite side of the room. 

“He will not bother you again,” Dottore finally said, sparing a look to the side as Iota approached from the side, this time with bandages. He eyed the boy curiously, wondering if this room was one of the places he fled to those rare times he was stuck in the palace and got overwhelmed by the amount of people. Iota turned his head away pointedly and Dottore just shook his head, taking the bandages and wrapping them neatly around your wrist and forearm. 

You didn’t respond to him and Dottore glanced up at you, waiting for you to say something. You looked away, Dottore bit back an irritated sigh, tying off the bandage and moving a bit closer to look at your face.

“Thought they just called you a doctor for the irony,” you snipped half-heartedly, keeping your eyes averted as his fingers grabbed your jaw, turning your head to the side to see just how deep Theta had cut you.

Dottore let out an amused puff of air. “They do,” he drawled, “but I’m usually presented as one to acquire more willing test subjects. I must at least know the basics.” 

You gave him a withering look from the corner of your eye, bottom lip pushed out. He was grateful for his mask hiding the way his gaze lingered on it, focusing back on the scratch marks. They weren’t too deep but he didn’t have an ointment with him to spread over them, so instead he just pressed the handkerchief to the skin, cleaning up the blood.

“What are they?” you asked, eyes steeled for an argument. 

Dottore sighed heavily, considering briefly trying to avoid the subject but you did not seem keen on letting this slide and he was not in the mood for an argument. He wanted to get this done and get out of your room as soon as possible, even if his body was betraying him by allowing his fingers to linger on your cheek as he wiped away the blood. 

“They are me.”

Concise and to the point, as he always was, Dottore waited for the explosion of questions and demands to come from you but you only stared at him, studying him. Again, Dottore was grateful for his mask because he did not like the way he felt beneath your gaze.

“How?” you finally questioned. 

“Experimentation,” Dottore said dryly, your eyes narrowed as if that was an obvious answer. His lip unconsciously pulled up into a smirk. “I was able to isolate and extract my consciousness at specific periods of my life after years of study into-”

“Irminsul,” you finished for him, voice little over a breath and eyes darting down to your forearm. 

Dottore’s lips pressed into a thin line, watching you carefully—he did not like that, or did he? A part of him was impressed that you’d managed to put it together so easily just from the little he said and the words that had been transcribed to you through the bond. But on the same note, he thought that the fact that the bond had given you enough words to so easily string together how he had gone about his research was unnerving. 

Not for the first time since the bond appeared, Dottore felt distinctly violated. 

“Yes,” he said slowly. “Study into Irminsul. All I had to do was create vessels for the consciousnesses after extracting them.”

“And they are… you?” 

You were looking at Kappa with a different expression now, Dottore couldn’t figure out what it was but it made him uncomfortable, vulnerable. There was a reason why he made sure to keep all of the younger segments far, far away from people. Dottore let his hand drop back to his lap, folding the handkerchief and placing it back in his pocket. 

“Yes.” His voice came out colder and sharper, and you caught the change in tone, looking up at him quickly with furrowed brows. “I’ll be taking them back to the labs.”

You didn’t look pleased, frowning as you looked down at Kappa, who was still fast asleep. Behind Dottore, Iota let out a noise of protest but Dottore only had to turn his head to the side to stop the boy from speaking his complaint out loud. 

“So what? You’re just going to leave again?” you asked harshly.

“Did you think I was going to stay?” he quipped back, sarcasm dripping from his words. “That you and the younger segments and I were just going to be one happy family?” 

To your credit, you didn’t look too perturbed by the harsh words but he knew it affected you, if the way your grip tightened on Kappa had anything to say about it.

“You can’t just keep me here,” you spoke through gritted teeth. “I’m not-”

“You’ll find that I can do whatever I want,” Dottore corrected, rising to his feet. 

You didn’t hesitate, shifting Kappa down to lay on the bed next to you as you moved forward, fingers wrapping around his wrist to hold him in place. A commendable effort, but all it would take was one quick snap of his wrist to free it from your hold…

But he did not snap away his wrist. As easy as it would have been, instead he just stood there, staring down at you, waiting for you to say whatever you wanted to say. He tensed as if to pull away but his body didn’t cooperate—he blamed it on the bond but he wasn’t so sure that was the case.

“I’m not done,” you said. “I have more questions.”

“Another time,” he dismissed, finally forcing himself to pull his wrist back. Again, he felt a strange void as soon as the pressure of your fingers was removed from him. “I’ve wasted enough time tonight.”

Wasted?

“Wasted?” you echoed his very thought, scoffing loudly before shaking your head. “You know what, I don’t really care. What I do care about is knowing what that energy was around Pantalone—what was that?”

Dottore looked at her steadily from beneath his mask. “That is none of your business,” he said coolly. “Do not go sticking your nose where it doesn’t belong lest you find yourself a guest here forever.”

The look you gave him was nothing short of murderous. “As if I won’t be already,” you spat, rising to your feet to take a few steps closer to him after he moved away. Dottore remained rooted in place, looking down at you. “I will not be kept here like a caged animal.”

“Then maybe you should not act like one.”

“Excuse me?” Dottore’s words held no weight, but he did very much enjoy goading reactions out of you, watching as your face twisted in fury at the insult. “I came here for a reason, Doctor, and that reason was not to be imprisoned by you. I have information I need to find and one way or another, I will acquire it. You can either-”

“You will do as I say so long as you’re in this palace,” Dottore said, cutting you off by pinching your cheeks between his fingers and tilting your face up to look at him. “Just because we have a bond forced on us by Celestia does not make you untouchable, control that tongue of yours before it lashes at the wrong person. Once I get the information I want, I will consider getting you what you want. Then, we will never have to see each other again. Until then, you have reaped what you sowed and it is no one’s fault but your own that you were not adequately prepared for the consequences of your actions, do you understand?”

Just for a second, he watched as a helpless expression spread across your face, eyes glassy and lips pressed together tight as you stared up at him. His tongue itched to say something else but no words formed on it before you snapped your face out of his hold, looking away. 

“Get out.”

A part of him wanted to refuse just to be spiteful—was it spite? Or was it something else, that heavy feeling weighing at his chest? That was a question he was not ready to answer, so instead, he smiled thinly:

“Gladly.”

i promise they’re going to start warming up to each other soon more than just in their internal narration <.< soon as in very soon wait til you see the scene i have planned

RBS APPRECIATED!

[satforsatoru]

𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐝𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐡𝐢𝐝𝐞

➪ 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐦𝐞 𝐟𝐭. 𝐟𝐮𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐠𝐮𝐫𝐨 𝐦𝐞𝐠𝐮𝐦𝐢

warnings: brief, nondescriptive mention of throwing up

a/n: the end feels a little rushed but i've had in this in my drafts forever

A chest-rattling cough left you, one harsh enough that you collapsed backward onto your bed. You were supposed to be doing homework, but you’d had a virtually unshakeable cold, and it was making everything that much more difficult. 

Between classes, exorcizing curses, and extra work, you’d hardly had the time to recover and it had long since begun to take its toll. The buzzing of your phone broke you from your thoughts and you dug it out of your pocket with a pitiful sniffle. 

You weren’t surprised to see the text from your boyfriend, Megumi, especially since you’d been holed up in your room since classes had gotten out hours ago. His text, though short, radiated concern. 

‘Hey, is everything okay w you? You’ve been locking yourself in your room for the last few days… im getting worried.’

Ordinarily, his attention to you would make you swoon, but making him worry was the opposite of what you wanted. What you actually wanted was for your cold to go away quietly without anyone noticing. 

You were busy, but you couldn’t imagine that it compared to what Megumi faced, and you hated the idea of adding another thing to his plate when it was such a minuscule matter.

You quickly typed back a lame excuse about homework and how busy you were before tossing your phone to the other side of the bed. As you curled up with a soft wheeze, you rolled your eyes at the notion of studying. 

At this rate, nothing was getting done until tomorrow, most likely. You let your eyes close, hoping that when you awoke, you’d be feeling better. 

+

You shot up, wide awake before you could even process the act of waking up. Soft knocking cut through your daze, and you blinked, confused for a new reason. “Yn? Can I come in?” Megumi. Shaking your head to further orient yourself, you responded. “Come in!” 

As the door instantly realized that shaking your head had only made you more dizzy, but you didn’t have time to dwell on that now that your lover was already walking up to you. 

“Yn? I brought you some snacks and stuff… you’ve been really busy and I don’t remember you getting dinner,” Megumi murmured, holding out an adorable basket of fruits, crackers, a blanket, and face masks. 

You momentarily forgot your illness and quickly stood up to throw your arms around the ravenette’s neck. “You’re too sweet, love, I really appreciate it,” You grinned, leaning into him. Without even seeing his face, you knew that his cheeks were tinted pink as he held you close, but it only made him more endearing.

“It’s nothing,” he smiled, pulling away, “what are you working on?” You accepted the basket and turned to gesture to your (forgotten) work when it hit you. 

A wave of nausea washed over you, causing your head to spin and your stomach to churn. “Yn? Are you-” Before Megumi could even finish, you were stumbling over to your trashcan, bile rising quickly in your throat. 

You hardly made it in time, dropping to your knees just as you began to heave. Footsteps echoed behind you and then hands were holding back your hair and rubbing your back. 

“Shit, you’re okay, just breathe, love,” Megumi whispered, fear seeping into his voice. After what felt like an eternity the ordeal was over and you slumped backward into your boyfriend’s waiting arms. He tucked you into his chest and gently wiped your face with a tissue.

“Hey, hey, eyes on me, yeah?” He soothed, caressing your cheek, but his face turned stricken. “You’re burning up… have you been sick?” 

You averted your gaze, shame burning through you at not only throwing up in front of Megumi but also how quickly he saw right through you. “Just a little under the weather,” You mumbled, “I’m sorry you had to see that,” You added quietly.

Megumi scoffed, but not unkindly. “You should’ve told me, love. Have you taken anything? Well, I guess you haven’t since you haven’t even eaten,” He answered himself, looking right through you. “How long have you been feeling like this?” He asked suspiciously. 

You hesitated, but his eyes narrowed and you knew that there was no point in lying. “About a week,” You revealed. “That long-! Yn, why didn’t you say anything?” Megumi rushed, conflicted about what to do. 

“It’s just… everyone’s busy and has stuff to worry about, y’know? I didn’t want to add another thing to your plate. It really isn’t that big of a deal, I promise,” You insisted. 

“‘Not a big deal’?” Megumi echoed, frowning deeply, “Yn, you just threw up after being sick for a week. You don’t have to hide this stuff, especially not from me, okay? I don’t want you to be suffering all by yourself.” 

Not giving you a chance to make another excuse, he easily moved you to your bed and carefully laid you down. Guilt began to sit in your stomach like a pit as you watched Megumi mutter under his breath, no doubt creating a plan to help you.

“I don’t want to lecture you, especially not when you’re feeling like this, but… I don’t want you to think for a second that you’re just ‘another thing on my plate’,” Megumi started, lithe fingers caressing your cheek, “you’re my priority, always, I want to help you as much as I possibly can because I truly care about you, more than you can possibly understand,” He finished, leaning closer to you. 

You felt your cheeks warm and you nodded in understanding. “Sorry for disappearing on you,” You murmured. Still, Megumi looked somewhat relieved as he brushed a cool hand across your forehead. 

“I’m just glad I know now… stay put, I’m going to grab a couple things,” He mumbled, already heading toward the door. As much as you felt slightly guilty to derail his day, you couldn’t deny that it was nice to have him take care of you. 

A couple of minutes passed, and you felt your eyelids begin to grow heavy and you were losing the battle against sleep. 

Just when you were about to truly give in to your exhaustion, a damp, cool towel was placed on your forehead. Your eyes blinked open, meeting familiar ones. “Feel good?” He questioned quietly. You nodded, lost in a deep yawn. 

“I brought some medicine for you to take, and then you can get some rest, okay?” Megumi decided, opening a small pill bottle. You sighed but relented and accepted the large-ish capsule and the glass of juice with a small ‘thanks’.

You quickly downed them both, but you couldn’t stop yourself from making a face at the gross aftertaste, to which Megumi let out a quiet laugh. “Not too much,” You huffed, but pulled him by the arm, contradicting your words. 

“Want me to stay while you rest?” He asked, sitting beside you on the bed. A resounding ‘yes’ rested on the tip of your tongue, but you didn’t want to essentially trap him here, especially if he had other tasks to attend to. 

“I don’t mind, I’m kind of tired myself,” He added reassuringly. You pursed your lips, but when the back of his hand carefully caressed your cheek, the rest of your resolve crumbled. “If you insist,” You grinned.

The ravenette rolled his eyes, but joined you beneath the covers, nonetheless. For a few seconds, the two of you maneuvered around until you were comfortably tucked away in his chest. 

Megumi’s lips pressed against your forehead for a long moment and he held you closer to himself. “You’re important to me, okay? I want to be the first person you come to when things happen,” He whispered. 

You finally felt yourself truly relax now that you were right where you belonged. You managed a whispered ‘I love you’ before you succumbed to your exhaustion.

requests are open and reblogs are appreciated!

[danisdistant]

sunday - your past sins are meaningless now - part one

[intro blog] | [taglist] | [masterlist] | [table of contents]

»» ──────ஓ๑ ★ ๑ஓ ────── ««

sunday x stellaronhunter!reader

although it was only three days, it felt almost eternal when you’re locked up in a dark room. it doesn’t help that hunger has been gnawing away inside his body.

jade had been checking up on him periodically from time to time to remind him that her offer still stands. even hours before the trial was in preparation, she gave him one last chance. granted, her patience was growing thin.

“are you really going to die like this, sunday?” she said, walking up to him as she lifted his chin. he was already pale-skinned, but even in the dark she could tell he was almost as white as a ghost.

even with this confrontation, sunday refused to maintain eye contact with her. “i’ve told you, for the past three days. i do not want your pity.”

“…well then.” jade sighed, releasing his chin and turned around for the last time. “i’ll go ahead and let the rest know that the trial is still under way.”

“you should already know that your death won’t be quick and painless.”

and just like that, the door shut once more, sealing his faith. sunday felt numb. he knew he could’ve accepted her offer in the first place, at least for robin. but right now, he couldn’t bare to see her face again. not after what he’s done.

he can’t run away from his sins, after all.

»» ──────ஓ๑ ★ ๑ஓ ────── ««

“wow, golden hour is so… golden.” you mumbled, walking around the hustling and bustling city. “it almost makes me feel like i wanna spend all my money on the casinos.”

“yeah yeah. do that and you’ll get caught by the bloodhounds.” silver wolf spoke through the hologram as she crossed her arms. “oh yeah. kafka told me to remind you about her gift. seems like she really wants some new shades.”

“shades huh?” you placed your hand on your chin. “doesn’t she already have like fifteen pairs of them?”

“well yeah, but i’m sure she’d like some from penacony.” she looked around before pointing at a store on the side. “over there, they’re selling some sick looking things.”

“wolfie… that’s a game shop.” you stared at her in disbelief before shaking your head. “unless you want me to get kafka some shades based off some paper birds.”

“anyway, how much time left do i have till i have to break a bird out of its cage?”

“three system hours and twenty-five system minutes.” silver wolf typed something in the air before her relaxed expression turned slightly more serious. “you better start moving [name]. some bloodhounds are getting close.”

“alright. i’ll move and get something for kafka. and a new console for you.”

“haha, that’s what i’m talking about, [name]. alright, i’ll get back to you once you break in. try not to get spotted. i hope you maxed out your stealth points.”

“yeah yeah…” you muttered, turning off the hologram before placing the device into your pocket.

as you set your eyes on the game store, you wondered what kind of games they would be selling in a dream?

»» ──────ஓ๑ ★ ๑ஓ ────── ««

“thirty system minutes.” silver wolf said in your headset as you started to walk to sunday’s supposed location. “apparently, his trial is in about an hour, so security in the area is a lot more tight.”

“should it really matter if i make a big scene or not when i break in?” you mumbled quietly into the mic as you passed by some people. “i mean after all, we’re here for one person. break in, save him from the cage or whatever, and leave.”

“eh, if you’re all in on min-maxing your bounty when you’re caught, i’m fine by it.”

“what?! no way, i’m stuck on 6.9 billion credits.”

you could hear silver wolf’s smirk over the mic. “nice. well, it doesn’t matter anyway. it’s about to go up to 7 billion.”

“hey! you aren’t authorized to enter here.” an ipc guard blocked your way to the entrance of an ipc building. “turn around, or i’ll have to resort to force!”

“7.1 billion. sorry, miscalculated.” silver wolf replied as you pulled out your weapon. “don’t worry, i have the screenshot of your bounty, and i’ll share it with the others. anyway, the guard just called back up. good luck.”

“thanks wolfie. i’ll take it from here.”

»» ──────ஓ๑ ★ ๑ஓ ────── ««

sunday sat still. he was counting the seconds, minutes, and hours, he had left once jade closed the door. he had been stuck in complete silence, minus his own heartbeat and breathing, for four hours now.

as soon as he heard footsteps, he knew that his time was up. he stopped counting. at this point, he wondered if he should finally look at jade in the eye.

“dang it, it’s locked!” an unfamiliar muffled voice came from the other side. his wing twitched, suddenly curious at the foreign voice.

that’s… not what he was expecting at all. was someone else besides jade going to escort him? or is it someone unauthorized trying to break in?

“ugh, i’m just going to brute force it.” the voice said before a loud audible thud filled the room. sunday noticed only a small dent appeared on the metal door.

“dang it, it’ll take me forever to open this!” you groaned as you looked around for some kind of lock or code. you weren’t tight on time, but you did wish to get out of the creepy dark hall and room as fast as possible.

“tsk.” silver wolf clicked her tongue after a brief pause. “if you’d wait a second, you wouldn’t have made yourself noticeable to five other ipc guards. anyway, the code is six-nine-four-two-zero.”

“ok- got it.” quickly, you punched in the numbers and the door opened before you.

you weren’t exactly sure what you were expecting when you heard that sunday was locked up in a room. but, you certainly weren’t expecting him to be chained up in a chair.

“jeez.. the security on you is quite impressive.” you mumbled, causing sunday to finally look at you confused.

“…you’re not the ipc..” he muttered, trying to recall where he has seen your familiar appearance before.

right, you’re a stellaron hunter, specially [name]. he had seen you on the ipc broadcasting channel here and there after your interference with the company.

but, what exactly are you doing here? what exactly are you going to do with a man who’s going to be dead soon?

“nope, not with those suckers.” you smirked slightly, partly listening to silver wolf’s keyboard as she tries to find a way to release the chains. “i’m [name], one of the stellaron hunters if you haven’t heard about me before.”

“right now, your trial is upcoming in a couple of minutes, but i’m here to get you out.” giving a thumbs up, sunday shook his head.

“…don’t. i deserve what i’m going to be charged for, even if it means death.” he muttered, turning away as you looked at him surprised. you were honestly expecting him to be ecstatic to leave.

well, it doesn’t really matter how he feels. after all, the script did say to free him from the chains.

“uhuhh..” you said, listening to the footsteps outside that seem to be getting closer. “well, a little birdie told me to get you out of your chains, is to just snap them.”

“wait- you’ve.. disabled them??” sunday looked at his wrists to realize that the dull purple glow was gone. at a slash of your weapon, both of the chains snapped off his wrists.

he gasped, although he wasn’t sure why. surprise that the chains actually broke? relief that he’s free? or infuriated that a stellaron hunter is helping him?

“alright bird man.” you turned around as more ipc guards appeared at the door, aiming their weapons as you prepared to attack. “i’m going to save you, whether you like it or not.”

really, sunday himself wasn’t sure if he did mind being saved or not.

»» ──────ஓ๑ ★ ๑ஓ ────── ««

“alright, that’s the last guy.” you huffed as the final body fell to the ground with a satisfying thud. “we’ll be leaving penacony as soon as we wake up.”

“and if you’re thinking about running away, i have a small bird keeping my eye on you.” you glared, causing sunday to respond with a small nod.

so, it seems she really is serious about breaking me out and taking me hostage. it’s no secret that the stellaron hunters are planning something.. yet, i’m in no condition to fight and resist. sunday said mentally as he followed you out of the area. although, i wonder who’s the other stellaron hunter she’s referring to as her bird…?

despite his suspicions, sunday believed that the best course of action is to do as you say as the two of you break out.

“alright wolfie, we’re at a safe area. get us out of the dreamscape before more ipc guards catch up to us.” you placed two fingers on your headset as silver wolf gave you the clear.

[previous] | [next]

»» ──────ஓ๑ ★ ๑ஓ ────── ««

[canadiansummer]

FEVER

Pairing: Dmitri Antonov x Reader / Enzo x Reader Series: Day two of the October challenges. | Masterlist here. Prompt: Sickfic Warnings: There is mention of vomit (not in detail), fever, and general illness. So, if you are squeamish, I'd avoid this one. Note: Shorter one this time, but I enjoy a pretty general sickfic and it's fun to explore. Also, the last time I had a high fever was when I caught c/ovid last year, so I'm sorry if things don't sound overly realistic.

The sudden slam of the bathroom door as you entered the house immediately set you on edge. 

Coming home late wasn’t exactly uncommon for either of you–one of you always seemed to be asleep before the other came home. Considering the growing scale of the things that happened at work, you knew you would likely be the one having to slip quietly into bed without disturbing Dmitri. So, you didn’t really rush back home that night. 

Though, the fact that a quiet house wasn’t what greeted you made you a little worried. 

Stepping out of your boots and hanging up your jacket, you didn’t turn on any lights outside of the faint one that was left on in the kitchen. Another oddity, considering neither of you really left lights on for each other to save money. So, you slowly started to make your way down the hallway, uncertain as to what was happening. 

However, the retching you heard from the bathroom quickly told you everything you needed to know. You grimanced lightly, pausing for a moment before you turned to head back toward the kitchen with somewhat hurried steps. As you did so, you realized that you had never really had to take care of Dmitri like this. He seemed to manage to avoid getting sick, so it was usually you who woke up with the fevers, colds, or whatever ailment you managed to catch. 

Though, you weren’t unfamiliar with the process. Upon finding that all you could really offer him for his stomach was a glass of water, you filled up a glass and made your way back down the hallway. 

Dmitri had moved on from the bathroom and was laying himself down on the side of your bed by the time you caught sight of him. 

While the room was dark, you could see in his body language that he wasn’t doing too well. Seeing the way he lay down with his back to you, curled up into himself, it was one of the rarer sights you saw from him. It was vulnerable–something you didn’t really see from him too often outside of quieter private moments or in bed. It had you pausing in the doorway of the bedroom for a few moments before you let out a soft sigh through your nose. 

Foregoing turning on a light, you walked toward his side of the bed and placed the glass down on the bedside table nearby. While you knew what to do, the whole…caretaker role was a little difficult for you sometimes. You didn’t like accepting help from others and, in turn, you didn’t really know how to properly comfort someone. Whatever you could give, however, seemed enough for Dmitri at least. Which is what mattered in the end, you supposed. 

You reached out to place a hand on his shoulder, Dmitri stirring somewhat before he clumsily reached up to grasp your hand in some sort of acknowledgement.

“You should drink something,” you commented, Dmitri only giving you a hum in response for a few moments. 

You could feel the claminess of his hand, which wasn’t a great sign but it didn’t seem too odd for what you saw of his symptoms so far. The shivering, however, put a crease to your brow. 

“I’m freezing,” he muttered, rolling over to face you finally, “Did you leave a window open?”

“No,” you replied, placing the back of your head against his forehead, “You’re probably running a fever. I think there is something here to actually help with that, at least. Just rest here a moment.” 

As warm as his head felt, you were a little relieved that he was asking somewhat coherent questions. Still, you couldn’t help but feel a pang of sympathy for him–it certainly wasn’t that late at night, yet it was clear that he just wanted to sleep this off. Considering that you would do the same, you couldn’t blame him there. Though, knowing your luck, you were probably going to fall ill right behind him. Maybe he’d be feeling better by then so the both of you didn’t have to suffer. 

With some pills in hand, you returned back to the bedroom to see him sitting upright. Dmitri took the medication without much complaint, though you noticed he hadn’t changed out of much. At least he shed his outside wear, yet it seemed like he didn’t have the time or energy to change out of much beyond that. 

“You might feel more comfortable if you change out of that,” you pointed out, “I’m sure your fever doesn’t need the extra help.” 

“Are you sure you are not trying to get me undressed for your benefit?”

Despite the fact that he sounded exhausted, you couldn’t help the small chuckle that escaped you at the quip. Well, if he was still able to joke then it might not be too bad. 

“From what I heard, it sounded like you had your head in the toilet a few minutes ago. So, how about you behave?”

Dmitri didn’t reply to that, but from what you could see in the darkness he at least seemed amused enough. Thankfully, he didn’t need much more prompting to remove his pants, at least. You started to dress down for bed as well, making your way to your usual side as Dmitri settled himself back down. Though, you caught the somewhat confused look he tossed your way over his shoulder as you sat down beside him, resting your back against the headboard. 

“You’re sleeping too? I don’t think it is that late.” 

He was right, admittedly. Of course, you had a long day so you could sleep at the moment, yet you knew you certainly didn’t have to. Yet, you had found yourself joining him anyway, as much as you didn’t really give much thought as to why you had. 

“I have had a long day, and I guess I want to make sure your fever is actually going down,” you replied after a moment. 

Dmitri gave a small hum in return, settling back down with a small huff. “My mother used to do similar. Kept her distance until I was sick, then she was always within arm’s reach. She was probably worried. She never had good experiences with illness.” 

“Well, I really hope that is the only thing about me that reminds you of your mother,” you remarked, earning a small chuckle. 

Though, he really was running a fever if he was wanting to talk about his family. It had never felt like pulling teeth to get him to talk about his family or life, but it wasn’t always the first topic offered up. 

“My family was always the type to just say to lay down and sleep it off, anyway,” you continued, reaching out to thread your fingers through his hair, running your fingertips down his scalp in thought. “Sometimes it might be bad enough to have someone nearby, but that was rare. My father was the worst, though. He could never sit still and it was torture for him to have to be in bed for longer than a night’s sleep…” 

You got a rather sleepy hum in return, so you continued in a softer tone. A few stories from childhood, some friends, animals, whatever you could think up for a while. As much as you didn’t want to press too close in case that would be too warm, it seemed Dmitri didn’t mind you running your hand through his hair and eventually against his back as you spoke. You continued for a while, even after you stopped getting responses to your pauses or silences. A part of you couldn’t help but feel some relief upon feeling him relax, his breathing evening out after a while. 

As you could feel yourself struggling to stay awake, you gingerly reached out to rest your hand on his forehead again. Still warm, but it seemed cooler than when you had last checked. 

With a small sigh, you let yourself drift off, the back of your hand resting against Dmitri’s back. 

[f1a1w1n]

No, you don't

Part four of: No you don't

Summary: Poe finds out you have the force. Angst, a little dramatic chapter ngl. This fic is a slowburn, enemies to friends to lovers fic. In this part reader finds Rey and Poe tries to hide his amazement of the reader. Reader has the force.

Word count: 2.5k

Warnings: None

Authors note: Sorry I haven't updated this fic in a while, I've been in hospital and just had surgery, and on top of that recovering from the flu 😭. If its not as good as the others I'm sorry but I am still vry sick and my writers block is going nowhere. Anyway thank you for reading, liking and leaving comments, they mean the world to me and I love reading them so much!

~

“Come on, help me,” I drag one of the stormtroopers by the collar “don’t just stand there!”

Finn and the alien jolt from their shock and help drag the other two stormtroopers. Poe stands with his mouth agape and his eyebrows raised. 

We dump the stormtroopers behind the crate wall.

“Come in trooper R9-0087,” a staticy voice says from the stormtroopers belt. 

“Shit, what do we do?” I say. 

I look at them. Their shocked expressions make them look like goldfish. “Guys?!” 

“Uh- we uh…” Finn tries. 

“Trooper R9-0087, come in,” 

I look at them expectantly. The alien shrugs his shoulders. 

“Is everything alright R9-0087?” the voice pauses “do you want me to send backup? Are troopers R4-0074 and R5-0067 alive?

We glance down at the stormtroopers at our feet. 

“Sending backup-”

“Wait! Troopers, R9-0087, R4-0074 and R5-0067 are alive… radio cut out” Poe says frantically. 

“-alright cancelling backup.”

I let out a heavy sigh. My stomach stops doing loops. I look up at Poe, his face still struck with shock. 

“You-” Poe points his finger at me. 

“-later, we’ll talk about it later,” I slap his finger out of my face.

He resets his face into an infuriated one. 

“Yeah we’ll talk about it. I-” he points his other finger at me “that was dangerous and stupid. And it put the whole mission at risk.” He clenches his jaw and squares his shoulders. His once starstruck expression gone.“Why didn’t you tell us that you’re a Jedi?”

“You didn’t need to know,” 

Anger rises in his face. “You don’t think that the rebels might of benifitted from knowing that there was more than one Jedi?” 

“I’m not going around trying to get myself killed!” I speak louder. 

“That’s so selfish!” he yells. “You abandoned the rebelion! The one thing the opposes the sith, the Jedi’s enemy- you would let so many people die so you could-”

“The Jedi order is dead!” I yell. I can feel the shock bouncing around the room but my eyes stay on Poe. “It’s dead. And theres nothing I can do about it, so don’t stand there and tell me what I’ve done wrong because there is absolutely nothing I can do,” 

The shuttle is ghost-quiet. No one dares to break the silence. I feel like I want to sink away back to Jakuu but I stand my ground. I take a deep breath to wash the emotion from my face. 

“It’s dead.” I repeat. “I’ve already grieved about it, and accepted it so why don’t you put on your big boy pants and accept it so we can do what we came here to do.” I turn around to gather my thoughts. 

There's a pause.

“I thought the Jedi where supposed to be braver,” Poe says quietly.

I whip around. “What did you just say?” 

“You heard me.” Poe tilts his head up slightly so that his eyes look down on me. “You’re a coward.” 

Before I can register what I’ve done, my hand slaps across his face with a sharp crack. 

He steps back and puts a hand to where I slapped him. His eyes wide. Anger grows in his face. He steps forward to me.

Finn's hand pushes Poe by his chest. “Guys, remember what we’re here for.” 

Poe lets out a anger ridden laugh and runs his hand across his jawline while smiling wolfishly. 

“Go drink some water,” Finn points to Poe and then the cockpit. Poe rolls his head to the side. Finn points again and Poe slumps down in the cockpit, a faint angry smile on his lips. 

I sigh and pinch the bridge of my nose. 

Fin turns to me. “What were you thinking?- also very cool your a Jedi- but what were you thinking?!” 

I kneel down and take start to strip the stormtrooper of his armor, leaving the black under clothes. “I’m not a Jedi,” I sigh. “I was almost one then the Empire decided to kill my mothe- my Jedi master.” I correct myself. 

“Oh. But you still can be one right?” Finn asks. 

“Yeah I just need to finish the training,” I take off the helmet of the stromtrooper. Finn gets an idea of what I’m doing and kneels next to me and helps with the next trooper. 

“You know he’s a commander right?” Finn says. 

“Yeah, I know.” I rip of a chest plate. 

“Then, what, where, you, thinking?” 

“I don’t know” I sigh. “He was being a dick,”

“Yeah he was wasn’t he?” Finn agrees.

I smile. 

“... do you have a lightsaber?” He asks, boyishly. 

“Yes I do-”

“-What are you doing?” Poe interupts. He leans on the doorway. 

“Do you think we can just walk through there and find Rey, unnoticed?” I quip. 

A sense of realisation washes over his face. “So we’re wearing that?” he points to the disheveld piles of armor. 

“Yes” I turn around and roll my eyes. 

Poe turns and talks to the alien. “Yeah you will have to stay with the ship- no I don’t think we can cut a hole for your tail- I’m sorry- yeah sure,” 

He turns to us. My back still facing him. “Borg will stay with the ship.” 

~

Finn helps us put on our armor adjusting it in odd places. “Alright, how does that feel?” 

I wiggle in the armor. “Weird, it smells to,” 

“Yeah, it does doesn’t it,” Finn shifts back and forth on the balls of his feet. 

“Alright. Let’s go.” Poe says, putting his helmet on. He presses the button to open the door.

We jog out. Sometimes Poe would cut in front of me and then Finn would overtake. We march uncoordinatedly.

Finn grabs our arms and pushes into a empty hallway. “Guys! Your going to get us killed!” Finn says as he takes of his helmet.

“Why?” I ask.

“Stormtroopers don’t overtake and elbow eachother.” Finn gestures between Poe and I. 

I roll my eyes. “He’s running in zig-zags.” I feel his glare on me.

“No. You’re running like a drunk person.” Poe spits. 

“Stop it!” Finn whisper-shouts. “I will walk infront and you guys walk behind me. Organised” Finn draws out the last word. 

I nod and put on my helmet. We march behind Finn robotically for ages until we stop in another empty hallway. We take of our helmets, our hair disheveled. “I have no idea where she is,” Finn confesses. 

“Ugh!” I thump my head against the cold metal wall.  

“I’m sorry!” Finn says. “Look I was a janitor, okay? I don’t know anything about prisoners!” 

Poe crouches down and rolls his helmet side to side with the tips of his fingers. “Leia was right. We shouldn’t of gone this soon without intel,” 

“And then what? Leave Rey?” Finn argues. 

Poe stands up. “Whatever I don’t feel like getting slapped again.” 

I felt shame wash over me. I turned away to hide my guilt. How am I going to find you Rey? I think… The force? A little voice in the back of my mind says. Of course! How could I be so stupid? 

I dump my helmet down and sit croslegged. “Cover me,” I say before closing my eyes. I can feel their confusion, and from my closed eyes I can almost see Poe rolling his eyes at me. I ought to slap him again. 

I take a deep breath, I feel the force. I can feel how resistant and unfamiliar the force is to my presence, it’s almost saying ‘what are you doing here? Oh it’s you again. Long time no see’. I feel my self floating slightly of off the cold floor. I reach out through the force, its cold like ice-ocean water. I feel the unbalance in the force, I’m reaching out through sharp static, until I feel something warm, comforting, familiar. Its Rey. 

I open my eyes and fall back on the floor with a thump. “I know where she is.” I stand up, greeted with again goldfish-like expressions. “Guys” 

“Right, uh- okay show us where,” Finn says. He puts his helmet on. 

I faintly hear Poe cough ‘show off’. I roll my eyes. I run around hallways, chasing Reys presence, we run around for a while nodding to other soldiers that march pass. We’re running down a hallway when I see Rey pop out from a intersecting hallway, I run to her. 

“Stop!” she raises her hand towards me. Her face glistens with sweat and her face is painted with fear. 

I take off my helmet. “Rey!” I say. Her face molds into relief and she drops her arm. We run to eachother and I tackle her with a hug. I break away and hold her face in my hands, looking for injury. 

“I- you-” she tries to say. 

“It’s okay.” I say. She smiles and wraps her arms around me again. 

“Rey!” Rey lets go and hugs Finn.

“As sweet as this is we have to go!” Poe says and drags Finn away from Rey. I grab her arm and let Finn guide us back to the shuttle. 

We burst into the ship hangar just to greeted by Kylo Ren and what looked like a hundred stormtroopers. 

“Shit,” Poe says. We step back. I can see our shuttle, it sits at the other end of the hangar. “What do we do?”

“Rey, join me,” Kylo Ren says through his helmet. His hand outstretched. “I sense the unbalance in you Rey, our destinies are intertwined.” 

Kylo Ren turns his gaze towards me in a way that makes me feel vulnerable, naked. 

Rey steps forward. 

“Rey no-” I begin. She holds up her hand.

“Ah,” Kylo Ren turns to me. “I sense the force in you- the turmoil.”

 Rey turns. “Run.” 

Finn and Poe bolt for the shuttle. “Come on what are you doing?!” 

Rey stands still in front of Kylo Ren, unwavering. “What are you doing?” I yell. 

“Go!” Rey yells. I run forward and grab her arm. 

“No you idiot, I’m not leaving you!” 

Stormtroopers begin to march forward. “Rey join me!” Kylo Ren yells.

“Go!” Rey pushes me.

The stormtroopers open fire, sending waves of red light at us. I dive behind a ship and fire back before snapping my body behind the ship to avoid their shots. I look back at Rey, who walks towards Kylo Ren calmly. “What are you doing?” I yell. She doesn’t respond. I dive behind another ship making my way towards the shuttle. Suddenly a group of three stormtroopers jump out from the ship. I shoot one and he falls down with a clunk. I dodge the other stormtroopers' shots and I kick their guns out of their hands. One kicks me in the stomach and I topple over. They take turns kicking me, their hard white boots bludgeoning me. Suddenly I push force energy away from me. I see the stormtroopers fly back hitting the linoleum floor. I feel someone grip my shoulders. 

“Come on, let's go!” 

I look up. It’s him, his hair is dishevelled and his brown eyes search my face frantically, looking for some response. He puts his hand on the side of my face and for a moment I think he’s going to slap me. Instead he just places his hand on the side of my cheek and gently says. “Come on, let’s go.”

Poe pulls me to my feet and pulls me towards the shuttle by his hand. I let him tug me around stormtroopers and dodge blaster shots. We duck behind a ship. “The shuttle is right there,” Poe says. 

I clutch my side. “What about Rey?” 

“Finn went to get her,” Poe answers, looking at the shuttle. “Damn it, stormtroopers,”

I look at where Poe is. Five stormtroopers stand guard at the shuttle entrance. “I’ll distract them and you go around and sneak on.” 

I nod. We crouch as we sneak our way towards the shuttle.  “Go that way.” Poe says. 

Poe stands up and reveals himself. “Hey fellas!” He walks towards them. They stiffen and aim their blasters at Poe. “Whoa, chill,” Poe drops his blaster to the ground and holds his hands in the air. “We’re chill?” 

“On your knees!” One of the stormtroopers yells. 

“Look-” Poe starts. 

“-now!” The stormtrooper motions to the ground with his gun. 

“Okay okay,” Poe gets on his knees. 

I sneak behind the stormtroopers. “Fellas, let’s not be brash,” Poe smirks.

“We’ve got 'em, the rebels.” the stormtrooper speaks into his radio. No response. “Hello?” 

“Hello.” I respond before wacking a crate on his head. He topples down.  

The stormtroopers turn their guns on me. Then Poe slides down snatches his blaster and shoots two of the troopers. The remaining two each face their blasters towards us, then two more stormtroopers come marching out of the shuttle, each carrying/dragging Borg the alien by his scaly arms. 

“Drop your weapons!” The stormtrooper on the right of Borg yells. 

Poe tries to up his ‘charm’. “Fellas-” 

I reach thrust my arm out and the stormtroopers holding Borg fly backwards. The remaining stormtroopers unleash their blasters. I bawl my hand into a fist and the blaster shots stop mid air. I pause. I spin my hand around and shove the shots back towards the troopers.  

My arm drops to my side.

“Wow, couldn’t of done that earlier?” Poe rolls his eyes. The expression on his face is a mix of irritation and utter annoyance, and if I had a mirror I guess my expression would look the same. He tore his hands through his dark curls. They looked so soft… 

I let out a annoyed sigh, which ended up sounding more like a grunt. 

From a distance I can see Rey and Finn sprinting, full speed towards us, screaming ‘go’.

I hop on my toes. “Come on let’s go!” I grab Poe’s arm and yank him towards the shuttle. “What are you doing? Go!”

“Aw you care about me sweetheart?” Poe jogs backwards towards the cockpit where Borg waits. 

“All I care about is smacking the ugly of off your self-obsorbed face!” 

He isn’t ugly I think.

Poe calls me some curse word in some alien language, which I’m sure was extremely vulgar judging by the look on Borgs face. 

Stormtroopers march closely behind Rey and Finn. I close my eyes and send out a jolt of energy, exploding of the pipes underneath the stormtroopers feet, toppling them down in waves of pressurised steam. I can hear Kylo Ren yelling. 

The shuttle lifts of the ground. I turn and jump onto the ramp. The shuttle is slowly lifting of off the ground. “Come on!” I yell waving my hand towards the shuttle. The shuttle is about a meter of the ground.

Rey jumps on first. I grab her arm to stablize her. “Finn, come on!” Finn jumps, he lands on the edge of the ramp swaying backand forth. I pull him forward. 

The ramp closes. I can hear the hull of the shuttle being rained with blaster fire. 

“Go!” I yell.

We shoot out into hyperspace. The flashing lights surrounding the windows.

Poe steps out of the cockpit. “God you’re in deep shit.”    

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[boldlyanxious]

Love is in the Error

Part 7

Part 6

Masterlist

Sorry for the delay in update. I was very sick

Marinette wanted to just laugh the girl off. It was easier knowing that it was not something she caused or encouraged that gave her the belief that they were going to get married. But it wouldn’t be easier for her to accept. It would be like suddenly being told your favorite fairy tale was made up. Which might be the truth but when you are young you want to believe in the magic of all things.

She kept quiet while Roy explained to her. The girl resisted hearing what she didn’t want to believe but he stayed calm and talked to her quietly. She still ended up crying by the time they reached the elevator. She reached out for Marinette and she looked over to Roy, silently asking his permission before she took her in her arms. She held her on the couch and talked to her softly while he prepared a bath for her. Lian went running when he told her to come pick out her toys for the bath. Marinette was planning to slip out while she was distracted but he approached right as she was headed out the door.

“I’m so sorry for how the day happened. I should have handled everything differently.”

Marinette raised her hand and put it against his chest, cutting him off. “I had a great time.”

She was shocked when he brushed her hair back with his hand. Her breath caught in her throat but his other hand reached up and took her hand. The ring was suddenly heavier. His thumb brushed against it and he pulled his hand back after suddenly remembering it was there. It glowed brightly for a moment and he looked into her eyes questioningly.

“I have been unable to remove it,” she paused to demonstrate. “ I have tried everything.”

“That man I have seen you with,” he started delicately.

“Adrien,” she filled in.

“He isn’t your fiancé or boyfriend?”

She shook her head slowly at his question and as soon as she denied either scenario, he moved forward and caught her up in a kiss. She kissed him back, even knowing that he had his own complications she ignored all the warning signs. Her back was pressed into the door she had been about to exit and she grabbed the sides of his shirt to keep him close. She gasped for air when he pulled away to kiss her throat and pulled his mouth back to hers as she wrapped her arms around his neck. He deepened the kiss and she couldn’t think of anything but kissing him back.

Until her finger pulled her out of the haze. It was burning and she could barely think of anything else once she noticed it. She shifted and he moved back down to her neck as she desperately tugged at the ring again. She had gotten it to budge only the one other time when she was yelling at Adrien but this time it didn’t stop. With her anger at Adrien and her feelings developing for Roy on her mind, she pulled it and it nearly flew off her finger. She could feel her hand like she couldn’t before. Roy didn’t seem to notice as he moved to kiss her on the mouth again.

—

Roy was completely lost in his happiness to find out Marinette wasn’t engaged that he completely forgot that he was supposed to be getting Lian in the bath until she hollered from the bathroom.

“Daddy, I’m ready now. Can I get in?”

He groaned as he pulled away from Marinette.

“Go ahead and check the water and get in. I’ll be right there to help you.”

He was still holding on to Marinette and pulled her against him for a moment. She glanced down the hall and he looked too. The hallway was clear and he could hear Lian’s voice echoing and talking as she got into the tub. Marinette pushed her hand against his cheek and kissed him again. It felt different. It was amazing and desperate but she pulled away quickly and pushed him away.

“This really isn’t like me,” her hand moved to her face and wiped away a tear but he didn’t know why she was crying. She kept talking but he was distracted when he realized the ring was off her finger. She must have just managed it. It wasn’t until after she shoved herself out his door that he put together the rest of what she said before she pushed away and ran back to her own apartment.

“I’ll arrange to have Lian’s dress for your wedding delivered to you. I don’t know what came over me but I am not this type of person and I can’t be. I care about Lian and what is best for her. I care about you too but I need to focus on what is best for me.”

He was stunned. He had no clue what she meant. They had just cleared up the wedding confusion but she still seemed to think that he was getting married and that she was a secret. He was desperate to follow her and clear it up but she was right about wanting what was best for Lian. He could still hear her singing so he turned and went to help her in the bath. Hopefully he could find a chance to get over and talk to her soon. Her words had almost sounded like a goodbye.

—

Marinette was reeling. She wanted to burst into tears of relief and getting the ring off and then again for kissing Roy again. She had never felt such a strong connection to someone and he clearly felt the same but her feelings on being a secret had not changed. She already had too many secrets. She was fairly certain that their connection is what helped remove the ring and that was the last piece she needed to block herself off from the Agreste’s again. She would need to find more magical knowledge to know how to fight against the power and she should be able to get the miraculi out of hiding without the magical tracker on her anymore. For now, she cast a spell to link the ring’s tether to her plant next to the door. It wasn’t perfect but it was technically living and would hopefully hide the fact that she had removed the ring so she could prepare.

It would be best if she prepared to leave as soon as she finished with Adrien. She had been hoping to stay here more permanently. This time was the longest she had gone without being found but with Adrien knowing where she was and the awkwardness with her neighbor she decided it would be best to just leave. She had a couple other options of places to go that would do well shielding her. With the miraculi she might be able to find a way to fully block the Agreste’s from finding her. She might even be able to stay close locally if everything went according to plan.

The only link to the miraculi she had was the glasses that she had deactivated. She set to work finishing the potion to reactivate them so she could retrieve the rest without being tracked. That would take hours to finish but she didn’t want to sleep until it was done. Most of the process didn’t require active involvement so she began getting ready to leave. She started setting up boxes and packing everything away. When this was finished she could vanish as quickly as possible after. She worked from the inside and made her way through each room packing up anything she wouldn’t need right away.

She didn’t stop until she got to her sewing workspace. The dress for Lian was there so she paused to finish the final touches. It shouldn’t take long and she didn’t want to leave Lian without it. Perhaps Roy and Jason wouldn’t even want anything from her in their wedding but she would at least keep her promise to Lian to make it for her. It was done in under an hour. The potion was nearly finished so she took a moment to leave the dress on Roy’s door with a brief note that didn’t explain any of the reasons why she was leaving.

She hung it on the door knob and turned to reenter her apartment when there was a noise behind her. Expecting Adrien, she turned quickly to confront him so he couldn’t take her unaware. But it was Jason behind who opened the door she was still standing in front of. He looked confused at her response and looked from her to the dress on the apartment door.

“I wanted to leave the dress. It’s the one for Lian to wear in your wedding. She was very excited while designing it.”

She let the words hang in the air as he didn’t respond. Her guilt was thick in her throat knowing that she had just shared a steamy kiss with the man’s fiance and she didn’t know if he knew or suspected anything that happened between her and Roy. It could just be that he didn’t like Lian claiming his fiance was marrying another. She didn’t really want to figure out what the issue was but the thought of having kissed Roy in the doorway hours before was not helping her. Her timer went off and she turned away while he continued looking around. She was fairly certain he could see boxes stacked in her apartment. She hadn’t tried to hide them. They would all know she was gone soon enough.

As soon as the potion was ready, she used it to reactivate the glasses. Kaalki reemerged immediately, startling her even though she had expected it. She wasted no time transforming and creating a portal to where the rest of the miraculi were being hidden. She hesitated when she had it all there before her. She wondered if there was a possibility of this being a trap. There were too many variables to know but she didn’t want to be without anything that might help her block the tether. She couldn’t risk not being prepared.

She hid everything away quickly. If this went wrong, she didn’t want it immediately accessible. The only thing she left out was the grimoire. Flipping through it as quickly as possible, she located the page with the proper spell. She read through it on her couch and took a breath. This would be very complicated. It didn’t require any potions, just energy and right now she had none. Hopefully, he wouldn’t make it to her until she had a full night’s sleep but she couldn’t count on that. It was already past midnight so she just closed her eyes right where she was and hoped that she could fall asleep instantly.

—

“Arsenal, come in,” Jason said into his comms.

“What can I do for you Hood?”

“Patrol is over. You need to get back.”

Roy jumped across the buildings, keeping the man in his sights. Adrien was trying to be stealthy but Roy had tracked him since he had left his fancy hotel. He was dressed all in black and moved with a purpose. His black hood fit his creepy vibe except for the cat ears on top making it seem whimsical. Roy had a feeling he knew exactly where he was headed and at no point did the direction he traveled dissuade that notion. He was headed the opposite way from where Roy had come. Roy had left his apartment after putting Lian to bed and headed to watch the hotel room. It was not very long later that the man had exited out the side, clearly trying to stay hidden in the dark.

He twisted a ring on his finger as he walked along. Roy couldn’t be sure but he would be willing to bet that the ring was a match to the one that had been stuck on Marinette’s finger. He just wanted Jason to hang on a bit longer so he could confront the man and make him leave Marinette alone.

“I’m fairly certain I am already headed right for you.”

“Are you following your friend?”

“That’s right. He appears to be headed right for you. I’ll be there in a matter of minutes.”

“Excellent. Maybe you can ask your neighbor about the dress she just gave me for the flower girl in our wedding before she moves out.”

Roy swore loudly and Adrien looked around before slinking away. He picked up his pace and entered the building. Roy wanted to head directly to Marinette’s window but trying to explain what he was doing would be complicated. He headed for his window instead so he could be ready to intervene if needed.

—

She awoke instantly with a rap at the door. She dragged herself off the couch feeling like she had just fallen asleep. She looked at the clock and it wasn’t far off. She must have just fallen into a deep sleep just to pull herself out of it to get to the door.

She knew it was Adrien. She could feel him. This was the worst possible timing. She was worse off than if she had gotten no sleep. She had fallen asleep but gotten no rest. She needed to have her wits about her. Instead she took a deep breath, hoping to clear her head and opened the door.

“I see you are all packed and ready to go. I knew you would do the right thing, Bugaboo.”

“I still don’t like that name and I won’t be going anywhere with you,” she crossed her arms. “You will be going though and you will not be able to bind me again.”

He smirked back at her and lifted a hand to her chin. “Is that so?”

He stepped through the door and she backed away from him as he moved closer. She had to force down her panic. She would need confidence and clarity to finish this. Her back hit the wall. He blocked her in with his arm over her. He was looming in close, lifting her chin so she was forced to look in his eyes. She put her hand on his chest, gently and didn’t push him away. He put his forehead against hers and the fingers on her chin released and his hand slid into her hair. He used his other hand to meet hers on his chest and she slid her other hand to his one cradling her head.

His eyes blinked slowly and he relaxed against her. He leaned down and nuzzled her neck.

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[mycoolwritingcorner]

Heroes

Written for Sailor Moon Platonic Week.

Day 2: Comfort.

----

Minako had been looking forward to a nice, relaxing evening at home. Her parents were gone out of town, Artemis was off… somewhere, and the girls’ usual study session had been canceled due to Ami being sick. Mina and her friends all reasoned that without Ami there not much actual studying would get done anyway. So Mina’s evening would consist of video games, a nice bubble bath, and then finally curling up with a good manga before bed.

That is until Usagi showed up on the doorstep of the Aino household, asking if she and Minako could talk. Immediately the Guardian of Beauty could tell something was off. Her bun-headed friend lacked her usual energy. Minako ushered her in and made them both tea before the two blondes finally settled themselves at Mina’s dining room table. 

“Thank you.” Usagi said quietly, taking the tea from her friend.

“Sure thing.” Minako replied, blowing on her own tea to cool it down, “So what’s up?”

“Well…” Usagi fidgeted with her hands nervously, struggling to find the right words, “I guess I was just wondering… how did you do it?”

“Do what?” Mina asked, confused.

“The whole superhero thing.” Usagi clarified, “I mean, you’ve been doing this way longer than me, and for most of it you were flying solo.”

“I dunno. I just did, I guess?”

Usagi looked down at her cup, disappointed, “Yeah… I guess you would say that.”

“Usagi? Is everything okay?” Minako questioned, concerned for her friend. 

“It’s just… it’s so hard, Mina.” Usagi looked up at her friend with tears in her eyes, “It was already hard enough for me just to get my homework done and now I have to save the world every week and… and I’m not like you. I’m not built for superheroing like you are.”

Minako was shocked. She had seen Usagi upset before, the girl had been a wreck after Mamoru had been taken by the Dark Kingdom, but this was different. She supposed it shouldn’t have been too surprising. After all, it had only been a few weeks since the girls had all gotten their memories back and returned to their Sailor Guardian duties. Thus, it was only natural for there to be some concerns during this transition period. For Usagi, however, it seemed to go beyond ‘concerns’. The girl was beginning to doubt if she was cut out for this at all. So, of course, she had come to Mina.

While Minako had grown closer with Usagi during her time on the team, it was clear that her princess still put her on a pedestal. The Guardian of Beauty remembered how Usagi would fangirl over her during their earliest days working together. “I can’t believe I get to work with my hero.” was a phrase that had been uttered on multiple occasions. And now, here she was, asking her hero to share some kind of magic secret that would turn her into the perfect crime fighter. A secret that Mina simply didn’t have.

“I guess that’s obvious, though. I mean, if I was, you guys wouldn’t have had to give up your normal lives to help me.” Usagi wiped away her tears with the end of her sleeve, “I’m sorry, I don’t know what I was even expecting you to be able to tell me. I just… I don’t know if I can do this and… and…” she petered out before burying her face in her hands, “I’m sorry.”

Mina acted almost on instinct, moving from her chair over to where the other blonde sat and wrapping her arms around her. Usagi let out a surprised noise but accepted her friend’s embrace without resistance.

“Usagi, you don’t have anything to be sorry about, you’re doing fine.” Minako cooed reassuringly, “You’ve done so much. You’ve helped so many people. You saved the whole world for crying out loud.”

“Not on my own. Not without you guys.” Usagi whimpered.

“So what?” Mina asked, pulling away and looking into Usagi’s eyes, “That’s what we’re here for. We look after each other.”

“I guess…” Usagi muttered, clearly not convinced. So Minako decided it was time to bring out the big guns.

“Hey… do you really wanna know how I did it? How I fought as Sailor V for so long?” Usagi’s eyes shot open and she looked directly into Minako’s, nodding aggressively, “Alright, well, my secret is… that I just made it up as I went.”

“... what?”

“You heard me. I had no idea what I was doing, just ask Artemis. I bumbled my way through all my adventures, and pissed off a lot of cops in the process.” Minako took Usagi’s hands in her own and looked her in the eyes, “You and I really aren’t any different, Usagi. You just only saw the stuff they put in the manga (which I never saw a yen from, by the way) which well… what can I say, they got my good side.” She finished with a smirk.

“Wow, I… I had no idea.” Usagi said, clearly shocked by what she had just heard.

“It’s okay if you’re not a perfect hero. It’s okay if you need help. You can rely on us.” Minako said, placing a hand on Usagi’s shoulder, “And even though we give you a lot of crap, we all know we can rely on you too, okay?” 

“Okay.” Usagi said with a faint smile, “And… thanks, Mina.”

“Don’t mention it.” The taller blonde shot back, “But speaking of my unapproved merchandise, I was planning on playing that new Sailor V game tonight, but I could really use a player two. You want in?”

Immediately Usagi’s eyes lit up and she sprang from her seat, “Wait, you have the new one?! That’s awesome! I wanna be Sailor V!”

“What? But I literally am Sailor V!”

----

Aaaaand that’s it for day two! Come back tomorrow for Day 3: Loss.

But until then, please let me know what you thought! Comments, reblogs, likes, etc. are much appreciated!

And until next time, take care everyone!

[littletail]

Regression Fairy tail scenario

One of those times that people weren't so accepting of that Wendy is a Little..when Caregiver! Lucy Heartfilla took Little! Wendy to a nearby park for a while and Little! Wendy overheard some rather unkind comments from 2 insensitive rude young girls about the fact that she was drinking from a sippy cup and wearing a diaper-it was obvious considering that Wendy was wearing type of clothes that a young toddler would wear (Lucy only put Wendy in diapers as a precaution more than anything else because as far as anyone knew..when Wendy slipped in her headspace..she was known to have accidents in her sleep or when she wasn't sleep.)..Little! Wendy was hurt by the comments judging by the tears that welled up in her eyes..and Caregiver! Lucy Heartfilla standing up for her little.

(Sorry for the wait. I'm juggling life right now lol.)

Mean Girls

“Sissy! Sissy, look!” Wendy danced around Lucy.

“Look at my pretty girl!” Lucy squealed, lifting Wendy into her arms. “You excited to play in the park today?”

“Yes!”

“What do you want to do first? They have a play area if you want to go there. They have a slide, swings-”

Wendy shook her head and stuck her tongue out, “No swing.”

Right, her motion sickness would likely get in the way of that. “Well, what about the slide? Or do you want to play tag?”

“Tag!” Wendy booped Lucy’s nose.

“Tag it is, then, but first,” she put Wendy down, then took a moment to check the padding under her skirt, “I wanna make sure you’re dry first. Since a certain someone doesn’t tell Sissy when she uses her diaper,” she lightly teased.

Wendy giggled quietly.

Lucy went to stand back up, only to freeze when she heard some.. not so nice comments aimed their way. She glanced over her shoulder, spotting two younger girls, looking around Wendy’s age, talking rather loudly amongst themselves.

“Is that girl wearing a diaper under that skirt?”

“Why does she look so childish? It’s weird.”

“Do you think that woman with her enables this?”

“God, I pity her. If my mom treated me that way, I would die from embarrassment.”

Lucy growled to herself, but tried to stay focused on Wendy. If she heard them, then the young Slayer definitely heard them too. She could see it on Wendy’s face, so she quickly assured, “Don’t worry, sweetheart. Ignore some mean girls. We’re here to have a good day, not to dwell on others who are jealous of how cute you are.”

Wendy giggled quietly, “Cute?”

“Very cute! My precious little Sky Dragon! Why don’t we play tag now, or hide-and-seek? Would you like that?”

“Hide an’ see!” Wendy squealed happily. 

“Alright! You wanna hide first, or do you wanna seek first?”

“See!”

“Alright! Close your eyes and count to 30 for me, okay?” Lucy took Wendy’s hands in her own, before placing them over her eyes. Once Wendy started counting, Lucy took off, hiding in a fairly easy spot where she could also keep an eye on her Little.

“9… 10… 11…”

“Hey!”

Wendy uncovered her eyes, blinking curiously. Lucy froze again, ‘Oh no..’ 

“Look at this little baby,” one of the girls from earlier said. Her friend giggled, just as nastily, “How old are you supposed to be? Why are you such a baby? Aren’t you embarrassed by this?”

Wendy’s eyes started welling up with tears as she tried sputtering out something, anything, to say, “Well.. It’s.. It’s fun.. And..”

“It’s fun? I know you did not just say that. What a gross little baby!” the girl pushed Wendy back.

Lucy, now standing behind the girls after storming over, cleared her throat rather aggressively. When they turned to look at her, she growled out, “Where. Are. Your. Parents?”

They tried to keep standing tall, but Lucy could see the nervousness in their eyes.

“And uhh.. who are you?” the first girl asked rudely. Lucy narrowed her glare.

“I mean, yeah, why do you enable this? It’s so weird!” the other girl said.

“Let me get one thing straight here. You will not. Bully. My. Little. Girl. Do you understand?” Lucy hissed. “Now, I’m going to give you a choice. You can either leave now, or I will find your parents and tell them exactly what you’ve been saying, understand?”

“Now hang on a minute-”

“I said, do you understand?” Lucy said, a little more forcefully.

“Yes ma’am..” they nodded.

“Good, now get out of here. Hopefully you have learned something from this,” Lucy walked past them, picking up Wendy.

Once the two girls were gone, Lucy gently booped Wendy’s nose, “Do you want to go back to playing?”

“No more hide an’ see..” Wendy murmured. 

Lucy couldn’t say she blamed her. In fact, she didn’t want to be away from her either. “No more hide and seek. I say we have a snack instead. What do you say?”

“Yes please!”

Lucy smiled.

[canumoveurseatup-no]

the fear of starting over pt. iii

summary: sometimes you have to fight like hell to make sure you’re still alive.

word count: 6.8k

pairings: tony x black!reader ; OOC!dark!bucky x black!reader

warnings: kidnapping, abuse, weapons, swearing, mentions of marital rape, mentions of being impregnated from rape so please beware and make sure you’re 18+ and in the right mindset to read this!!!!

___________

----------

----------

“Love and abuse cannot coexist. Abuse and neglect are by definition, the opposite of nurturance and care... Too many of us need to cling to a notion of love that either makes abuse acceptable or at least makes it seem that whatever happened wasn’t as bad... To begin by always thinking love as an action rather than a feeling is one way in which anyone using the word in this manner automatically assumes accountability and responsibility”

     -Bell Hooks in All about Love

--------

“Get him to stop crying, Nat,” Bucky hissed and was pacing, Steve and Natasha sat in the corner trying to get your baby to hush.

You woke up with a pounding headache. Mouth dry, neck stiff and hands tied. You don’t know where you are but you know it’s not where you’re supposed to be. The whining of Levi had you zoning in on your surroundings and you’re in what looks like a cabin.

“H-he,” throat dry from not being tended to in hours with nothing to quench it, “He.. l-likes frozen mango,” Steve hurried to get some, knowing they already had it in their freezer... it was a light snack Bucky often enjoyed... one of the things Levi got from him.

Bucky hurried to turn himself to you, same sick smile on his face realizing you were finally awake, “My pretty girl, she’s awake,”

You didn’t miss Natasha glaring at you. She never knew what he saw in you. You were you boring and dainty, not always walking around with a chip on your shoulder. She envied you for not being a brooding bitch like she was. 

“Why am I here, James?,”

“Didn’t Steve tell you? I want my family back and no one is leaving until you agree,”

You choked out a sob and pleaded, “Why do you want me so bad? Why can’t you just let me go and leave me? Why must you come around and ruin my peace? Huh?,”

He grabbed your face in his hand and squeezed hard. Flashbacks began flooding your mind, making you wheeze. You hated reverting back to that time inside your mind.

-----

“Y/N why must you always do something to make a fool of me, huh?, You get a rise out of me hating you?”

You sat quietly and shook your head. You had only made his colleagues laugh, taking the attention off of him for a fraction of a second. Bucky wanted you to stand and look pretty. He wanted you to be seen not heard, he wanted everyone to know what a bombshell his wife is but he didn’t want you to open your mouth, afraid your words would be a beautiful tune and you’d hypnotize them like a snake charmer.

He’d never admit it, but Bucky was threatened by you. He was threatened with how well rounded you were, by how well you worked with others, by how well you worked through adversity, by how smart you were, by how selfless you were. By how human you were... the fact you weren’t an experiment and your ability and hard work came from the heart. 

You were something he never could be and he’d be damned if a woman had more redeeming qualities than him. At first he didn’t mind but throughout the years he’d grown to hate you for the very things he loved you for to begin with.

“Look at me when I’m talking to you,” he snarled.

Not many things scare you but you were too ashamed to admit that your husband was one of the things that did.

“I’m sorry,” you whined. You hated to see him angry, because that means there’s just another action you have to add to your list to not do.

“You’re sleeping by yourself tonight. Maybe think about what you’ve done tonight and fucking fix it,”

You scoffed and tried to bite your tongue but the words were too hot in your mouth you had to spit them out, “So, that’s it?,”

“Excuse me?,” 

You saw his fist clench and you knew this was it, this was the moment he hit you so hard you’d be done for.

“So you send me to my room a-and punish me by sticking your cock in the gates of hell? I’ve come to terms with your cheating, James. It’s not much of a punishment anymore and I know it sucks to hear that because now it might take you a while to get it up, I mean knowing it used to hurt me...that’s your kink,” you swirl your finger on the rim of your wine glass, “Quite funny actually, still need me on your mind to even get your mediocre cock up to fuck some mid pussy,”

The hit that landed on your mouth didn’t stop you from nearly laughing. The one time you dished even a spoonful of his medicine back, he blushed and got embarrassed.

“I’m sure you just added that little hit to your spank bank, huh?,” 

He hated to see you smile, he was the only one who was supposed to deliver a smile like that.

“Y/N, I’d tread lightly if I were you,” He warned.

“Why? or else you’ll beat me black and blue? Might wanna be careful, wouldn’t want you busting too early before you even have me completely unconscious,”

He slapped you out of your chair and you groaned loudly. You made a sound mimicking a camera going off. He spit near your foot and walked away. Steve walked in with you sitting on the floor and didn’t say a single word. Didn’t even act like he saw you or that he knew what had just happened a minute before he walked in.

Steve was a blind sheep, following Bucky and Nat knowing if it came down to it, he’d be the one getting thrown under first.

---------

“Y/N, I’m not going to make some pitiful speech about how much I love you and need you and my son in my life. Because quite frankly I don’t, but nobody walks away from me,”

You sat quietly, it’s the first time he’s been truthful in a long time, about how he didn’t need you, he just wanted you as a prop, wanted you there just to play house.

But he was scared of being alone, all of this is just a bunch of shit he needs to unpack.

“I just want my baby to be okay,” you whine, “Do whatever you want to me just don’t hurt him, he’s innocent,” You just wanted Tony to swoop in and save you but from the looks of this place it may be a while before he even gets close and who knows what will happen between now and then.

“Oh, I intend to. I guess it’s time to drop the bomb on you that I have very powerful friends in the system who helped erase those divorce papers. So legally, we’re still married,”

Okay, now you threw up, you knew Bucky was fucked up but you didn’t know he’d drag other people into this. It made you sick that he even went that fucking far to nullify your divorce.

“Damn, am I that bad to be married to?,” he thought this was funny. You looked at Nat holding your son, seeing him fighting to get out of her grasp calling for you but neither of them would allow him near you. Steve came back and immediately gave Levi a piece of the frozen fruit, he hushed for a bit, now distracted from the bad people around him.

“Why me?,” you coughed, “Why do you want me so bad. You have Nat,”

He shrugged and tiptoed to avoid your vomit on the floor, “I would have left you alone if you hadn’t gotten pregnant but you know a child is what I wanted, had you just done it sooner I would have treated you better,”

“I couldn’t have one sooner because of the stress you put me through!,”

You’ve literally never dealt with someone as delusional as Bucky.

“If getting back together is what you want... I can’t give it to you,” You gulped heavily and the next words that come out of your mouth set the tone for the rest of this endeavor.

“You’ll have to kill me. I’d rather die than be in that spot with you again. You stripped me of everything I had to offer. There is nothing left of me for you,”

-----------

“Fury, I quite frankly don’t give a damn if your men are working endlessly. My son and Y/N are missing! Four of your highest profile agents have gone off the grid, what aren’t you getting?!,” Tony was working day and night since that night you and Levi went missing. That night he came back from the store was one of his worst nightmares. He did everything he could to make sure you two were safe. He’d rather Bucky take his anger out on him than you two. Anything could be happening right now, anything could have happened by now. 

He hasn’t slept, not until he finds you two and when he does, he’s not responsible for what happens to Bucky and his entourage. Tony was not only working to find you but was working on upgrades for his suit to be able to take out the two super soldiers and spy. Tony was way past the point of trying to verbally resolve things. Someone dared to touch the two people he loved most in this life. He immediately had Fury put out an APB on them throughout the entire country. 

He wasn’t sure what would happen if anything happened to you. He should’ve taken you two on that small shopping trip with him. He felt all of this was his fault. If only he didn’t leave you alone then you wouldn’t be in this situation.

“Tony, I understand what you’re feeling but you have to slow down just a little bit,” Bruce was working on getting any heat signatures that could possibly be you. They created a specific technology that would tell who a person was just by their body normal body heat.

“Slow down?,” he looked at Bruce incredulously, voice cracking and eyes welling, “Bruce if I slow down then Bucky’s plans speed up. I have to be faster than him, I have to be ahead of him. He could be hurting her. He’s an abuser, she ran for a reason and now he’s got his hands on her and our son, I can’t slow down,”

Their faces are plastered on every billboard, on every article, newspaper, news casting. They’ll find you. 

“I believe I’ve found something,” Friday says

“Give me whatcha got,”

----------------

Wanda was calling Nat over and over and over to “warn” that the authorities were looking for you and Levi and that they might wanna turn themselves in. She really had Friday working with her to help quickly locate you. Wanda wasn’t as close to you but she couldn’t stand by and not help in anyway that she can.

“Nat why would you put yourself in this position?,” Wanda ranted, “You set yourself up for so much legal trouble doing this,” she whined like she cared. They set themselves up for this, there’s no way they’d get away with this, or get out alive. 

“It’s okay, Bucky just wants his family back and there’s nothing wrong with that,” 

Wanda wondered how she could sound so nonchalant.

“Natasha, Bucky is legally not supposed to be anywhere near those two! There’s legal records of this! There’s nothing chill about abuse or kidnapping or any of this!,” 

Natasha doesn’t really understand her role in all of this if she’s being honest. She knows Bucky will always run back to her but if she could have it her way, she’d have been killed you. 

“Those records are gone. They’re deleted,”

“No, Natasha, they’re not!! They’re sealed so fucking tight that God himself would have a hard time cracking into them. Tony pulled out all stops for Y/N. You should have known this wasn’t the right thing to do,”

Natasha laughed in Wanda’s ear and Friday had pinged quietly to let Wanda a location was found even if it was a burner phone. Friday was on it. 

“That’s your problem now. So self-righteous. Have you ever thought that maybe doing what is supposedly right isn’t the way to get what you want. Fuck the rules. Now stop calling or she’ll be dead faster than those pitiful tears of yours can fall,” 

Wanda rushed to the lab where Tony and Bruce were working tooth and nail to find you. 

“Friday and I got a ping on Natasha’s location,”

----

“We’ve got an issue, Bucky,” Natasha scowled, throwing the phone down, “Turns out Tony pulled out all the stops and sealed the records so tight damn near no one can access them other than a few select anonymous people. Legally, you’re still divorced and you’re not supposed to be anywhere near her or her spawn,”

“Watch it, that’s my fucking son, you’re talking about,” Bucky got in her face and it was a different demeanor than what you’re used to seeing him use with her.

“I think this kid has made you soft. You don’t need him or her, Buck,” Natasha smirked at him, giving his energy right back.

“We’re not going anywhere without my son,”

“For Christ’s sake! He’s not your fucking son!,” You scream while shaking against your restraints. Bucky immediately forgets his issues with Nat right now and turns to you. He steps and stands directly in front of you before taking your face in his vibranium hand and squeezing so tight you think he might break your jaw.

He got dangerously close, so close you can smell the spearmint on his breath and smell her perfume on his shirt, “It was my fucking seed that knocked you up. No matter what you may fucking think while you’re on your morality high horse, that’s my fucking son and I will kill you before I let you try to take him from me again,”

“Then kill me, Bucky,”

It was sickening to see his eyes soften at your words, like they hurt him some how. Tears kissed his eyes while he stared at you.

“You’d really rather die?” He choked out. God he was good. So despicable but could easily switch it up at the flip of a coin.

“I would die ten thousand painful deaths than be with you again. Y-you beat me, y-you committed marital rape. You stalked me, threatened me, hurt me, cheated on me. Why would anyone want to be with you?”

“Can’t you see I love you?”

“God, James! That’s not love,” you cried out. His idea of love was so warped and you don’t know how it got that way, especially when you always made sure to give him the healthiest form of love you could give, “You’re so twisted, and warped! You’re full of your own lies!”

His chin quivered at your words and some part of you sadly felt bad. Looking at him like this reminded you of your old Bucky. Some part of you wanted to reach out and hold his face and wipe his tears away. Until you remember this is an act of his, he knows what he’s doing and you can’t let him win.

“I would rather endure the torture you went through with HYDRA than be with you again,”

That’s when he snapped, as if he couldn’t get any worse. He hauled off and slapped you causing you to shout out in pain. You hadn’t felt his strong hits in a while. It would have been different if it was consistent like it used to be, you would have been used to it but now, you screamed and cried like you did the very first time.

“You wouldn’t even be able to handle it… that’s what makes us different. I’m strong- you’re weak. You can’t even handle a little slap or a little rough sex, you ran away! That makes you weak,”

“That was never sex. Y-you took what you wanted,”

“As a husband should,”

“You’re sick!” Wild eyes and tears falling you looked at Steve and Nat, begging them with your brown irises to save you, but they just stared as if you deserved this, “Y-you hurt me so bad I had to go to the doctor, Bucky, that wasn’t sex! I-it wasn’t love making. It was rape!,”

“Stop saying that!,”

“Why?!”

“I’m not some rapist,”

“You are, Bucky!! Face it! Why do you think I ran away when I found out I was pregnant?! Huh? Because. you. raped. Levi. into me!,” your voice cracks as you admit the truth.

This is your first time saying it out loud and it hurts. Not even Tony knew this and it hurt that the first people you admit it to are the ones hurting you. The ones who don’t deserve to see you in this much pain, who don’t deserve to see you this vulnerable.

“I begged you to stop. You threw out my birth control pills. You waited until I was drunk from sleepiness to pin me down and do what you did. You sound proofed our house so no one would hear me screaming and crying and begging for you to stop because it hurt so bad. So don’t you fucking call that sex, James!,”

“That’s not what happened,” he looked to Steve and Natasha, shaking his head as if to say you’re lying, “I would never hurt- I would never do that,”

It’s not like he needed to explain himself, they had no reaction anyway. They would believe him over you any day and this is clear.

“I love my son and I wouldn’t trade him for the world. I just- I just wish you weren’t his father. I- I wish you didn’t do what you did to me for me to have him. I wish you just loved me the way you said you would, Bucky. I deserved NONE of this! Levi didn’t deserve to be brought into this world under the circumstances in which he was conceived but I knew no matter what I would love that child because it’s not his fault! He is my heart outside of my body and you already hurt the one inside of me, I won’t let you do it to the one that I brought into this world and will fight to protect,”

“Maybe I hit you too hard,” Bucky mumbled, “I didn’t do what you’re saying I did,”

Your eyes burned. You wondered how he could stand here and lie like this. It shouldn’t surprise you though, he lied under oath, denying everything. But his abuse is something you would never make up, it’s something you would never confuse with something else. Something you would never forget…

“How could I have ever loved you?,”

“Because I’m good at what I do,”

———

“Find my babies, Friday, please” Tony begged, tears flooding his eyes. Natasha was good, making sure her phone didn’t ping to one cell tower so it was difficult to find exactly where they were. Tony had been running the signal for hours, crying his heart out.

He just wanted to find you two, safe and in one piece.

“I should have stayed home. This wouldn’t have happened if I stayed home. Please help me find them”

“I’m trying, Sir. I promise!,” The AI’s voice was urgent and stressed, knowing how on edge her boss was. Neither never knew how hard it could be to pinpoint a location. He didn’t want to overwork Friday but you two needed to be found. Nothing was working though and the work had been endless.

He would never pull his punches anymore if anything happened to you and Levi, he would kill everyone that had a part in this and then some, he would kill anyone who supported Bucky and his actions, but he couldn’t think about any of that right now, he had to keep his head clear so he could make the right calls. 

“I found a safe house. Turns out it was one of Clint’s old safe houses for his family that Nat knew about. It’s been abandoned for years now,” Friday notified.

“I need you to let Fury know what you found, we’ve got to conduct a plan to get Y/N and Levi out safely. We can’t go in there guns blazing, there’s a child in there,”

“You got it, boss,” 

Tony can’t keep still, if he keeps still he’s going to cry and if he cries, he won’t be able to keep himself together, and if he can’t keep himself together then nothing can be carried out safely and well... you get the idea, all of it would be ugly and it could out your lives at risk, more than they already are.

He was praying to every deity he could think of. He was feeling too much right now. Relief that they may have actually found where you are but the fear of not knowing what he could find when he gets there. He’s trying to remain positive but it’s hard when he looks at the odds, you’re strong but with Nat and Steve by his side it could get dark.

He can’t lose you and Levi. Putting his love for you on the back burner, you were his best friend before any of this, before Bucky, before him stepping into you and Levi’s life to be his father figure, before any of it. Of course, it’s safe to say that if something were to happen to you or Levi, he wouldn’t just be losing two people, he would be losing a son, he would be losing a best friend, he would be losing the very family he’s dreamt of night after night for as long as he could remember.

“I’m gonna find you two,”

Fury and a few other spies come into the room and begin setting up, “Let’s make a plan and get those fuckers,”

---------

“I really did love you,” Bucky muttered. Natasha and Steve finally left you to alone, you were scared, not for your safety but for your son’s, he was out of your sight and you don’t know where they took him.

You feel disgusting. You don’t know how long you’ve been here. Bucky has only ever untied you to let you use the bathroom. You’ve been surviving off glasses of water and toast with a single knife stroke of butter. He hasn’t let you shower and it makes you feel gross but he does change you into clothes that are his. You hate to admit it but... the scent of him brings you some sort of comfort, maybe because at one point, it did.

“I could tell,” you retort sarcastically.

“I did... I mean I still do. Look at you, willing to die to protect our son, it’s admirable. You’re gorgeous, you’re smart,”

“You don’t really think any of that about me. Face it. You’re mad that I created something that you couldn’t hold a light to. You’re mad that Tony loved me in ways you could never,”

“Well it’s a shame considering you’re leading him on,” Bucky smirked, “You’re literally using the man as a stand in daddy because you know you don’t feel the same way but fuck it, because his spot in your life is coming with benefits right?,”

“Fuck the benefits. I love Tony. I’m just scared because of the trauma you caused. I’m constantly over analyzing his words and action because I’m scared of the possibility of him turning out like you,”

“So why start over? At least with me you know what you’re getting, right?” he gave an airy smirk, huffing in a quiet chuckle, “You know my triggers, you know how to keep me happy so why are you trying to start over?,”

“Because I deserve better, Bucky,” your shoulders tremble as you talk, trying to keep yourself together, you’re tired of him seeing you like this, “You don’t think I deserve to be in a healthy and happy relationship? You don’t think you deserve to get help so you can be that for someone else?,”

Bucky’s hand caressed your cheek, it was so gentle you weren’t sure how he could perfect an action so sweet. You hate that your body reacted in the way that it did, leaning into his hand, answering his touch.

“I don’t care about anyone else. I care about you,” he said with conviction, “You matter to me only because you’re mine and we work. If you stay, I can show you that I will be better for you. I can show you I’ve changed. I can be a good dad to our son. We can be good parents to him... but if you try to cross me or run away you will regret it,”

“Bucky no,”

“Baby ssshhhh, shhh. It’s okay. It’s going to be okay,” he sang, “I’m gonna untie you, okay? I’m gonna let you see our baby, but you got to act like you have some sense,”

--

“You let her out?!,” Natasha gritted, she looked at you as if you were some serial killer, you had no idea why she looked t you with such disgust. You didn’t want Bucky anymore. You begged him to leave you alone so at this point she needs to redirect her disdain. 

“She agreed not to try anything,” Bucky brushed her off.

“And you believed’er?!,”

“I think all things considered, I’m probably the most trustworthy person here,” you cut your eye to Natasha and watch her snarl at you, “This entire time I have been trying to get away from all of you so he can have you and you can have him, so you can stop acting like I’m taking something from you!,”

You had way more than enough of her attitude toward you. You’d been trying to do her a favor this entire time and for some reason she’s mad at you?

“You like the attention, just admit that,”

“I would rather braid seaweed in the deep sea with my oxygen tank running out than be going through this!,” you shout.

“Enough!,” Bucky yanked you away from her so he could get in her face, “I don’t know what has gotten into you but you need to cut it out!!,”

You can see his spit land on her face and you flinch, memories flashing before your eyes of you being in the same position. You feel as though you shouldn’t feel bad for her but you can help it, you wouldn’t wish this on your worst enemy who just so happens to be... her. Even though she had it easy, she had... you... she had you to be his punching bag, she never had to be that for him because you occupied him long enough so that by the time Bucky came back to her, the anger had dissipated and what was left was just primal sexual energy, the passionate, sexual energy you deserved during your marriage. You deserved the consensual, mutual pining that they shared, without the yelling. 

“At the end of the day she is still the mother of my child! She will always have a place in my life because of him so you can either shut the fuck up and endure it knowing I fuck your brains out at night ooorr you can let me stick something long and hard in your mouth one more time before I pull the fucking trigger if you have that much of a god damn issue!,”

“Bucky, that’s... that’s horrid just stop!,” hearing Bucky threaten you was always appalling but to hear him do it to someone else was... was bile-inducing. 

You watched him inhale deeply before letting it out slowly as if he was meditating, he turns back to you and smiles, you worried he’s going to hit you and you’re surprised when he doesn’t. Instead, he gently caresses your cheek before planting a kiss on the corner of your mouth.

“Why don’t you follow Stevie so he can take you to look after our boy, yeah?,”

You didn’t have time to think about what was going to happen when you leave the room because you wanted to hold, hug and kiss your son. You needed to see him and make sure he was okay. 

You immediately pulled away from him to follow Steve and you were thankful you made it far enough away so you couldn’t hear anything that was happening in there.

When you finally got to the room where Levi was and you couldn’t control the sobs that took over your body. He was just now waking up from a little nap and he called for you.

“Mamaaa,” he whined.

“I know baby, I missed you too,” you held him as if you may never get to hold him again. You don’t know Bucky has in store for you and Levi and you hated the uncertainty of what could happen.

Steve stared at the way you interacted with Levi, which prompted him to spew the bullshit that soon came out of his mouth.

“You really love him. You’d do anything to protect him,” his arms folded and voice low. How calm he was in a situation like this had your nerves going haywire. How does anyone just stick around and watch this happen?

“Of course I do. What monster births a child and doesn’t love them? I’m not perfect but I’m not that terrible.” You ran a hand up and down Levi’s back to keep him calm despite the fact that you weren’t. You were doing your best to make sure he wasn’t sensing it. “And of course I would do anything to protect him. It is my duty as his mother to love him, nurture him, care for him, and keep him out of harms way,”

You watched amusement dance across Steve’s face for a second, “If that was the case then you wouldn’t be fighting to get away from Bucky. If you cared about your son, you would let his real father be in his life and you would be a family for him,”

“Even if that means one day he sees the bruises Bucky leaves on me?,”

“You know what to do to keep that from happening,”

“So all the abuse is my fault?,”

“At the end of the day you know what to avoid to keep from setting him off so just use your common sense. You would be happy if you just didn’t tick him off,”

“How many times do I have to tell you all that no matter what I do, it doesn’t warrant him putting his hands on me!,”

You forgot you were had your son in your arms for that split second, not meaning to raise your voice. You’re at a standstill, you don’t know how to get out of this, you don’t know what to say to make them see that none of this needs to happen. That all of you can be happy going your own way.

“I loved that man more than any of you will ever know! I’m not some super soldier that can take a hit from another super soldier, I’m a human for fuck’s sake. I loved him, Steve. That’s why I stayed, left, came back and left again and came back again over and over again! I always believed he could change but he never did and it got worse,” You choked on your words and you want to believe you saw something flash in Steve’s eyes. Levi’s little brown hands tangles themselves in your cardigan, holding you tighter. You felt embarrassed with Steve seeing you like this, crying, on your knees, holding your son but if he’s never seen raw emotion before, he has now.

“I left and stayed away the last time because I knew I had to love myself and my child more than I loved some man who beat his spouse black and blue because they made his coworkers laugh at a harmless joke,”

You didn’t even try to wipe the tears from your face, you don’t know how you still had anymore to produce.

“You don’t know fear until you’re sitting at the dinner table with someone who swore to love you and never harm you, not knowing if that was going to be your last meal. You don’t know fear until you don’t even plan things in advance because you don’t know if that person would kill you before you got to that date. You don’t know real fear until you can’t even celebrate your own birthday because it might also become your death day if you allow anyone to show you attention even though it’s your day!!,”

His crossed arms fall to his sides as you continue to speak. He was softening up at the truth you spilled. Now that he’s face to face with you and seeing you broken down like this he knows it can’t be faked.

“Even something that was supposed to be as passionate and sensual as making love was terrifying!,”

“Y/N...” Steve spoke.

“No!,” you declare, “You don’t get to speak on this! There would be times where you saw I was hurting, where you would walk into the room as he was berating me as if nothing happened. No wonder you two are such best friends,”

“I’m not him,”

“You enable it though which makes you just as repulsive as he is because you see nothing wrong with his actions,” your voice drops low, not sure if you should bring up what you’re about to. But fuck it, it’s a valid question, “Peggy was a strong woman who stood on her own... if you two ended up getting married could you imagine breaking her down like this? Secretly being envious of the very things you loved her for at the beginning? Putting your hands on her a-and sending her to the hospital? You would stand here and say you’d do that? You’d really do that to someone you genuinely love?,”

“Of course not, that’s sick!,” his face was quick to turn red as he finally voices his stance on the matter.

“So why are you letting him do this to me?,”

“Because I owe you no loyalty,”

“So my safety and the safety of a child depends on you owing fucking loyalty? That’s absolutely vile! My life depends on whether you owe me loyalty or not? Just fucking kill me now why don’t you,”

“I didn’t want to be a part of any of this!,” Steve gets close and personal, squatting down to your level, “I’m only here to make sure Bucky gets what he deserves and that’s his family back. If you love Levi the way you say you do and if you care about your own life so you can be here to watch him grow up, then do the right thing,”

---

“He’s not stupid, he’s expecting us,” Wanda said into her com, “Sam, does Redwing have eyes on Y/N and Levi?,”

Sam was quiet, he hated that any of this was going down. He’s hurting, knowing that three people he considered friends were doing this to you. He hated himself for not knowing about any of this sooner, he hated not knowing that Bucky, Steve and Nat were this cruel. Sure Clint was with them but to hell with him, Sam never considered him a friend anyway.

“They’re in the furthest room with Bucky,” He replies as Redwing shares the visuals with Sam.

“We’re gonna have to take out Steve and Natasha first before we can even get there,” Tony acknowledge. He so badly wanted to go in there and just kill them all but his son was in there, he couldn’t risk shooting blasts or bullets and one going astray, injuring you or Levi. 

“As soon as they drop, Bucky is gonna know that something is up.” Wanda added. 

“No matter what, he’s going to know and it’s going to get ugly,” Sam retorted.

“Fury is everyone in place? We don’t need to kill em but at least knock them out,”

“Wakefield, Sandon... do you two have a clear shot?,” Fury was ready for this to be over with. He was nauseated by the actions of those who were supposed to be the “good guys”. He hates that he put them in a position of power to have the upper hand to do something like this.

“We do, boss,”

“You know what to do,”  

Before anyone can blink, the two agents shot tranquilizing bullets and they watched Steve and Natasha hit the floor.

“Redwing still has eyes on Bucky and Y/N. He hasn’t moved,” Sam reports.

“All right, everyone close in,”

Tony has never had his attention zoned in as much as he does now. He just wants to get you and Levi out of here and maybe kill Bucky to remove him from your lives indefinitely. 

He counted how many steps it took to get to the front door and into the house.

One... he noticed how the grass danced around his left foot in the breeze that kissed his face gently. He’s thankful that he created a suit to move as languidly as this one did. Creating no mechanical noise as his body moved.

If Tony wanted to show off, that one step would be his first and final step, because he would just fly in there and snap Bucky’s neck before he can ask what the fuck was going on.

Except he proceeded.

Two..

Three...

Right foot.

Left foot.

Six...... he can hear the hooting of owls, was never one for creatures and their habitats, having been surprised that some resided in the state of Colorado. 

Seven... Yes, Colorado. Where Bucky had transported you, far away from Tony but it’s no surprise that they had taken you across the country to hide you.

Eight... how many days he had to go without you. Days he sent searching for you, eight days than ran into each other after no sleep until they finally got a lead.

Nine. Ten. Eleven. 

Twelve... the number of panic attacks and breakdowns he had since you and Levi went missing. Yes, he counted.

Thirteen... he can hear his own heartbeat and it’s palpitations. Stomach swirling not knowing how this is going to go, scared that it will get messy and go left. He doesn’t care if he gets to land blows on Bucky as long as he can get his hands on you and your son and get you the hell out of dodge. 

Fourteen. Fifteen. Sixteen.

Seventeen... seventeen different Gods he prayed to, begging them for their help in finding you and Levi safe. He’s scared and Tony doesn’t admit that much.

Eighteen. He’s on the first step. Nineteen. Twenty, he’s on the porch.

Wanda’s red tendrils flow past Tony to unlock the doors.

Twenty-One. He’s over the threshold and steps over Steve’s body. Some dark part of Tony wished he was stepping in a puddle of crimson that flowed from Steve’s body, letting him know that he was dead but alas... him and Natasha had only been put to sleep.

Twenty-two. Twenty-three. Twenty-four, he’s passing the kitchen and making his way into the hallway. He sees the door that you’re behind. He can hear talking, he doesn’t know what is being said but he can’t worry about asking Friday to listen in and report back to him on what the voices are saying. 

Tony knows that there are agents surrounding the house to make sure Barnes doesn’t get away. He’s scared to get to the door. What if Barnes knew that they were there all along and hurt you and Levi before he can get the door down?

Thirty-two steps is what it took. 

Thirty-two steps to get his heart absolutely shattered.

Shattered at the sight of you pulling away from Bucky’s lips with Levi sleeping in his arms.

“Get down on your knees. Hands in the air,” Agent Wakefield stepped past Tony with his gun pointed at Bucky but you stepped in the way.

“Woah! What’s going on here?,”

“Ma’am I need you to get out of the way,”

“W-what no!,”

“Y/N. We need to go!,” Tony reached for Levi but you and Bucky both stepped back.

“Go where, Tony?,”

“Home. You, me and Levi are going home right now!,”

You looked back to Bucky and his eyes bored into your soul. You were frozen. You knew you needed to leave but something was keeping you here. Something was keeping you from taking Levi from him and walking into Tony’s arms so the agents could arrest him and Natasha and Steve. 

But you watched the way Bucky’s jaw set and this was a test. An assessment of your decision-making skills to see if you’d been listening... listening to the ways him and Steve were dropping for you to survive.

Don’t trigger Bucky. 

You smile at him, as naturally as possible before turning back to Tony and speaking words that took his breath away.

Not “I love you”, No... words that broke his spirit into pieces, pieces he’s not sure if he’ll get back. Words that he thought he would only hear in his worst nightmares.

“This is home... and Levi and I are staying... h-here with Bucky. We’re going to work on being a family,”

------------------

Hi! sorry for the long wait on this series. Writer’s block was a pin in my ass but here is part 3!!

PLEASE SHOW SOME LOVE!! REBLOGS, LIKES AND COMMENTS ARE ALWAYS APPRECIATED!!

tags: @blackreaders-assemble @mbaku-babygirl @dumbchick @walawalaboom @veryhellshdia @persephones24 @here-for-your-bullshit @valkyriesnymph @alyssaj23 @spideys-wife @xye-weirdo @disaster-rose @micki-smiles @valentinevirgo @crawlingnightmares @titty-teetee @annielovebug22 @bum-rayee @beautymarkonmytitty @toastybbb @bruxebanxer @lovely-geek @princess-of-fuckup @champagnesugamama @areubeingserved @4444intokyo @honeyjasminetea @itsafansworld07 @bluebirdbts @sunshinexsin @blackreaders-assemble @mrsbananers  @champagne-bucky @blackharleyquin @animegirlgeeky @saikid4wg @pananegra @massiveangelflower @art-estrange @jillilama-blog @aujanaidabbs @darkskin-buttercup @pleasantlandcashwobbler @dawnlaufeyson @backoff-imreadingdarkness @roxyfan14-blog @melli0112 @suchababie @princessru1 @quaememinisse @chimaeracabra @beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep @beautiful-loserr @niffala @papyrusmocking @silentkiller2374 @charlielovexoxo @smoothy-ve @mistress-ofevil @jin0 @sambucky8 @princess-toshii @sebbyslut @ilovefanfic86 @endlesslymedusa​ 

[lucifer-is-a-bag-of-dicks]

Not Enough

has anyone else just wanted Danny to go completely fucking feral at Dash? anyone?

yeah me too

this is some truly self-indulgent shit y'all

"Hey Fenton!"

Danny slammed his locker shut, sighing as Dash clapped him roughly on the shoulder.

"I'm throwin' a huge ass Halloween party this weekend, ghosts are all about Halloween right? You should totally come!"

It wasn't the first party Danny had been invited to since being outed as Phantom, but somehow Dash didn't seem to get the hint that he wasn't even remotely interested.

"No." Danny snapped, he threw his bag over his shoulder and turned his back on Dash, walking away without another word.

"What's your problem?"

Danny stopped, turning back around with a face of utter disdain.

"Excuse me?"

"I've been trying to be nice, but all you do is just brush me off! Like you can't even pretend to be busy or something?"

Danny stared, mouth halfway open as he tried to find the words to respond.

"Are you actually serious?" he finally choked out, almost too bewildered to be angry.

Almost.

"You're not still mad about all that stuff from before right?" Dash asked. "Like, I don't even do that shit anymore, it's over."

"Is it?" Danny's eyes flashed brightly and Dash took a half step back as the air went cold. "Because I'm pretty sure it was just yesterday that I pulled Mikey out of his locker."

"Well, yeah but that was Mikey." Dash laughed. "C'mon man, I wouldn't do that to you. We're totally cool now, so why you gotta keep blowing me off? You talk to Kwan like it's not big deal, and he used to wail on you all the time!"

Danny took a deep, slow breath, then another.

"Have you considered that maybe it's because I don't like you?" Danny said through gritted teeth.

Dash huffed, shoving his hands into his pockets and staring at the ground.

"Look, I get it, I was a jerk, but it's over! I'm actually trying to be nice, now you're the one being an asshole."

Danny looked as though he'd been slapped.

"You're such a fucking idiot Dash." Said Danny, his voice trembling with barely restrained rage. "You can't just treat someone like shit every single day for two years and then expect them to get over it because you invited them to a few parties."

"Then how come Kwan gets to hang out with you?" Dash could feel his face heating up. "You're just gonna let him off the hook? That's not fair!"

"HE APOLOGISED!"

In one thunderous moment, every locker in the hallway slammed open, sending papers and books flying across the floor. The few students still packing up their things got the fuck out of dodge, whether this was a ghost thing or a Fenton thing (was there even a difference at this point?) they wanted no part of it.

Dash couldn't move, his feet felt heavy, he wasn't entirely sure if Danny had done something to him with his ghost powers, or if he was just afraid.

Because he was certainly afraid.

Even after everyone found out, Danny still didn't use his powers at school unless it was a ghost emergency. He didn't use them for pranks, didn't use them to get even, didn't even use them to show off.

But he was sure as hell using them now, and Dash suddenly realised why he was always holding himself back.

He was terrifying.

Danny took a few steps forward, stopping barely an arm's length away from where Dash was rooted to the spot, trembling.

"Kwan apologised to me." He said, quietly this time. "He apologised to my friends, he even apologised to some other kids, and when I told him that I wasn't ready to forgive him, he accepted that and left me alone until I was ready to talk to him again."

Dash wanted to speak, but he couldn't seem to make his brain form the words he needed, it was too busy buzzing with danger run danger get out run run RUN.

"You made every single day of my life miserable for two whole fucking years, and that isn't even counting the bullshit you pulled in middle school. How do you feel right now Dash? Does it scare you to be around me? Does it scare you to be at the mercy of someone that you know damn well can hurt you?" Danny leant in, grabbing a fistful of letterman jacket. "I hope it does, because now maybe you'll have an idea what it was like for me going to school every fucking day knowing that you would be there, ready and waiting to hurt me. Every single FUCKING day."

Dash found himself being thrown backwards, his feet finally able to move again as he caught himself.

"I'm s-sor-sorry." he mumbled, his lips felt numb and tingly and his head swam with panic as he struggled to get the words out. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

"Are you?" Danny's voice cracked, his face wasn't twisted in rage anymore, his eyes were blue once again, and shining with tears. "Are you really sorry for hurting me? Or are you just sorry that the guy you were beating the shit out of turned out to be Phantom?"

"I didn't... I didn't know." Dash gasped out, he could barely hear his own words, all he could hear was his own heart beating loudly in his ears as he struggled to draw in breath. "I didn't know it was like that, I just thought-"

Thought what? What had he thought? That he wasn't really hurting anyone? That it wasn't that big a deal?

No, he hadn't thought that, because he hadn't thought at all.

"And you're gonna stand here and tell me I'm an asshole." Danny was almost sobbing as he raggedly spat out each word. "Because I won't forgive you for something you never even apologised for. This is the first time you even acknowledged that you were an absolute jerk to me, and you followed it up by demanding that I just get over it."

Dash stared down at the floor, it sounded terrible when Danny put it like that.

"I wasn't... demanding anything." he said, he was embarrassed by how whiny he sounded. "I was just trying to make it up to you, I was trying, I just thought... it's not fair that I can't have second chance. I was trying so hard and all I wanted was a second chance-"

"I DON'T CARE." Danny's eyes were screwed up tight, but it didn't stop the tears of fury from pouring down his cheeks, his voice so shredded with pain it was barely recognisable. "I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOU. I DON'T CARE ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT. I DON'T OWE YOU A SECOND CHANCE. I DON'T OWE YOU ANYTHING. YOU FUCKED ME UP AND YOU. CAN'T. FIX IT."

Dash didn't know what to do. Danny was openly sobbing, his breaths came out in grunts as he couldn't hold the rage and misery back.

He was still standing within arm's reach, Dash cautiously put out a hand, to comfort him? He wasn't sure, but he barely brushed Danny's shoulder before Dash found himself spinning violently and his cheekbone exploded with sudden pain as he hit the floor. Cold hands drew away from him roughly.

"DON'T TOUCH ME." Danny screamed. "DON'T YOU EVER FUCKING TOUCH ME EVER AGAIN."

Dash watched as Danny grabbed his backpack and his footsteps disappeared down the hall.

It was over, just like that it was over.

Dash sat up and touched his face, he wasn't bleeding but he knew it would bruise pretty bad. It hurt, he would be squinting through one eye for a few days.

Danny could have done this to him at any time, he could have done it to him every day if he wanted, and maybe he would, now that he'd done it once.

The thought made Dash feel cold as dread pooled in his stomach.

The next day Dash told people he'd gotten his black eye from playing football, his team knew it wasn't true, but they didn't ask. He kept his eye out for Danny, wondering if he would pop up invisibly and knock him off his feet, or drag him through the floor, or hit him when nobody was looking.

He clung to Kwan's side all day, afraid to be alone.

Phantom could be anywhere, he could get him anywhere, if he wanted to hurt Dash nobody would be able to stop him.

Nobody had been able to stop Dash, and he didn't even have superpowers.

But in the end, nothing happened.

Dash went through the day untouched. Danny didn't even look his way. Not once. He just acted like yesterday never happened.

But it did happen, Dash still had the bruise on his cheek, and the terror set deep in his bones.

In the following days, weeks, months, Danny still never touched him, never looked at him, never talked to him. Dash realised that Danny probably wasn't going to do anything else after all, that maybe he hadn't even meant to hurt him in the first place.

He was a hero after all, he protected people, even people he didn't like. The only time he had ever come into contact with Dash again was to haul him out of the way of a ghost, and he did so with the same care as he would with anyone else.

Danny wasn't like him, he didn't gloat about hurting him, he didn't revel in the fact that Dash was scared of him. He just went about his day, acting for all the world like Dash didn't even exist.

Dash never gave him a true apology, it was clear Danny didn't want one, it was far too late for that.

It left Dash with a sick feeling of unfulfillment. He understood now what Danny had been going through, the pain, the terror, he wanted Danny to know that he was truly sorry, that he really had changed this time.

But he couldn't, because forcing an unwanted apology on him would just make Dash the asshole all over again, he was trying to steal a forgiveness that he could never have.

So he had to find his closure somewhere else.

He stopped picking on Mikey, and Nathan, and all of the other nerds he frequently hassled. He even tried apologising to them, some forgave him, others didn't, and he had to be okay with that. He struggled not to lash out, it still felt unfair, the world had always told him that you were supposed to forgive people when they apologised. It always happened that way on tv, in the cartoons he grew up watching. The mean kid would apologise, the other kids would forgive him, and they would all become friends.

He was realising that the real world was a whole lot more complicated than that, he didn't earn forgiveness just because apologising was hard, he was learning fast that he didn't earn any brownie points for taking responsibility for his actions. He was just doing what any decent person should.

It took him a while to come to terms with that, to stop being angry at people for not letting him make it up to them. For not letting him prove that he had changed.

All it took was to occasionally pass by Danny in the hallways for him to cool his jets and think more clearly. To remind him that he was the bad guy, he was the one who hurt people, that his victims did not owe him anything.

In his last year of school, he had found himself watching the juniors below him falling into the same behaviours, the same struggle for power and control. Pushing other kids around without so much as sparing a thought to how it made them feel.

After a lengthy chat with Mr Lancer, Dash was given permission to pull out younger students from detention one day a week. He would talk to them, ask about their lives, ask about their feelings. He would ask why they lashed out, why they thought it was okay to treat people that way. Most of them didn't have an answer, or simply refused to give one, but he would push, he wouldn't let them hide in ignorance like he did.

Some of them did feel guilt for the way they treated people, and they only needed someone they could talk to who could understand what they were going through, so they wouldn't take it out on whoever was around at the time.

Others would take more effort, they need a far stronger push in the right direction, they were defensive and combative, selfish and unapologetic.

Dash had been one of those kids, he knew they would be hard work, but he did his best. He couldn't help all of them, some were simply unwilling to change.

So he contacted the school-board, he pushed for better protection for students, more programs to help troubled kids, he volunteered to keep running his own counselling groups even after he graduated.

It still never felt like enough.

After graduation he turned down his favoured college to attend one closer to home so he could continue his volunteer work. He joined petitions and rallies for change across entire school districts, he spoke at other schools' anti-bullying campaigns. He'd attended enough of them in his own childhood that he knew they did next to nothing, but it gave him the opportunity to reach out to kids for one on one support.

He found more volunteers for his counselling groups, he helped people start them up in other local schools. It was a lot of work, especially when he was also juggling his college studies. He was taking a major in psychology, it was brutal, Dash had never been good at studying, but he'd decided that this was what he needed to do, this was important to him.

It still wasn't enough.

It would come at him in the night, as soon as he laid his head down on his pillow. He would see the faces of all the kids he hurt, it felt so much worse the older he got, they just looked younger and younger every time the memories came back to plague him.

He had beat the shit out of children. Kids who were the same age as the students he now counselled. He beat them until they were bloody or bruised, he shoved them into lockers, pulled pranks that humiliated them in front of the whole school, and he had laughed.

He'd laughed at their pain.

When the guilt weighed him down, he would begin searching for new programs to volunteer for, new petitions or rallies to get behind, always finding another way to help protect kids like Danny from kids like him.

And to protect kids like him from doing things that would one day haunt them.

He had spread himself thin across every school in the district, barely keeping afloat at college, but it wasn't enough.

It was never enough.

Kids still slipped through the cracks, schools were still too lenient, there were too many kids, not enough volunteers.

Casper High was holding another anti-bullying assembly. It had been a few years since Dash had attended one at his old school. This year they had excitedly announced that they'd even secured an appearance from Phantom himself.

Dash's blood ran cold, his hands shook as he went over his notes, he was slated to do his speech alongside Phantom's, they would be sharing the stage for a solid 75 minutes, barely a few feet from one another.

When Danny showed up he was already in Phantom form, Dash spotted him discussing emergency exit plans with one of the organisers in the event of a ghost attack.

He was so different from when they were in school.

He was tall, and broad, he stood with confidence and had a good natured charm to him. He was a hero, he was strong, he was brave. He could fight monsters ten times his size with a smirk and a witty one liner. He could take on anything, he wasn't afraid of anything.

He was a kid, running down a hallway, screaming words that still pierced through Dash's mind every time he saw the hero's face.

"DON'T TOUCH ME."

Dash's hands clenched around his notes, shaking so violently that they barely even looked like words.

"DON'T YOU EVER FUCKING TOUCH ME EVER AGAIN."

"Dash?"

A deep voice cut through the chaos in Dash's mind as cold hands closed over his tremblings ones.

"It's good to see you again."

Phantom was smiling at him, his hands still closed around Dash's.

"Good... good to see you too." Dash mumbled, not able to meet the man's eyes.

Phantom paused before releasing Dash's hands.

"I've heard all about your work." Phantom grinned as Dash finally looked up and met his eyes.

"Yeah." he said, and then before his mind could catch up with his mouth, he blurted out, "I'm sorry, for everything."

Phantom's eyebrows rose for a moment, before he gave a gentle smile and clapped a hand on Dash's shoulder.

"I know." he said warmly. "Thank you."

They gave their speeches, Dash had told his story many times before, the victim that he'd pushed to breaking point, the boy whose words drove the change that made him the man he had become.

For the first time ever, that boy was listening.

After the assembly had packed up and the volunteers were heading home, it was Danny Fenton who approached Dash and asked if he wanted to go grab a beer together.

Dash thought it would be rather awkward, but Danny had plenty of experience socialising with the public, awkwardness slid right off him, and soon enough Dash found himself laughing alongside Danny as he told a story about the new misadventures of the Box Ghost.

He returned to his dorm that night, head still swimming from one too many beers, and he had the best sleep of his life.

He pulled back on some of his volunteer work, hunting for new people to take his place as he focused on college. He was falling far behind, but he would work hard to make his way back. As a volunteer he could only do so much, but with the right education and training, he could do so much more.

The guilt still haunted him, every so often when the pressure and the stress weighed heavy, it would creep back into his mind. It would probably never go away, not entirely, but at least now he had his closure.

Finally, it was enough.

[tasrasimp]

M6 + some short angsty prompts I’ve found

A/n: Hello my dears! Here I am, starting up yet another fanfiction blog but it’s for the Arcana this time! Frankly, I eat angst for breakfast so… Here ya go, some angst that made me sick to write 😬

A/n#2: This turned out much longer than I intended(🤌), so I’ll be posting the characters separately 💕

Prompt: “I know I shouldn’t love you, and yet I still do.”

Pairing: (Unrequited) Asra x GN reader | Lucio x GN reader

Warnings: Unrequited love | Drunk, painful ramblings | Drenched in angst

|✨Asra✨ | Julian | Muriel | Lucio | Portia | Nadia |

“Asra…” His name leaves you in a winded breath. Seeing him like this — body quaking, his words slurring together in an incoherent blubbering — knocks your breath from you. You kneel down to his eye level, the smell of alcohol finally making it to your nose, along with the light smell of the rain sure to come tonight. How long has it been since you’ve seen Asra? Three months, at least. You’d started to miss him terrible. Now, finally, you get to see him again, yet this is how he’s come to you; you try to swallow the bitter taste it puts into your mouth. You grab his elbows gently, trying to rouse his slumped form just outside of your shop door.

“Y/n…” His soft and melodic voice has become choked from strain, gravelly with tears, “why does it have to be him?”

His head lolls back, harshly smacking the stone behind him — he winces and you let out a soft gasp — but his dull amethyst eyes focus solely on you. He scans your face quietly. The crease between his brow worsens with every second that passes in silence before his head falls and his white curls obscure your view of his face. “I told myself that no matter what..” He pauses, swallows, and continues, “I would accept everything that you do… Whoever you decide to love, whatever you decide to do, where ever you want to go…” His voice weakens and falls off into a squeak. You know exactly where this is going, and it makes your hands tremble and breath jump from you… You hope that maybe you’re wrong. Maybe it’s not that.

His shoulders shake before his chest heaves with a soft gasp. “But him?” His voice quavers thickly.

“Asra…” You’re at a loss of words. For the last few months, you’ve tiptoed around Asra, always afraid to unintentionally hurt him. He’s not taken to your relationship with Lucio well. “Please come inside, Asra. It’s going to rain tonight…” You try to tug him up but he stubbornly remains in his spot.

“Go in there?” He wants it to be mean — you can tell by the pointed glance and grimace he gives you while shaking off your hands — but it still comes out as a whine, “Go in there and have to relive everything I can’t have?” A heavy sigh that leaves you as your own head falls… You can’t help the tightening in your chest, or the thought that’s wiggled into your mind like an unwelcome bug since Asra first gave you this look; maybe you shouldn’t stay with Lucio… Maybe you owe more to Asra…

“I’m sorry…” Is all you can whisper through your own thickening voice.

“Sorry?” He spins to you, quickly bringing himself to his knees in front of you and taking your warmed cheeks in his freezing hands. “I’m not saying this to make you apologize! Y/n, I can’t stand to loose you to him… He.. He…” Asra hiccups into another sob, his trembling hands tightening slightly on the side of your head, pulling gently at your hair, and you cup his hand with your own; what else are you supposed to do? You search his crumbling expression. “He has taken everything from me…” Asra manages to whisper, spilling purple eyes widely staring at the ground. “He took my parents, left me on the streets… It… It was so…” He steals his expression and brings his reddened eyes to your own. “He made Muriel kill people, made me his little puppet, gave Julian the plagued — he killed you —“ Again his hardened expression toppled into a sob, your own tears freely falling from your eyes now, “How could you love him?” You have to piece together what he says because he whispers it so quietly, barely audible over the wind howling through the city streets. Complete silence falls over the two of you. Your hunched body trembles at the cold air assaulting your front and the numb ache raging through your body. Asra falls into another fit of sobs; you can smell the alcohol on his tongue… Asra rarely drinks. What is in his mind that made him drink so much? So carelessly? He never drinks unless he’s with—

“Asra!” That familiar voice barks a few strides away from your shop door. You vision is blurred from the tears bubbling in your eyes, but you still recognize the red hair and tall slender frame. He scrambles to remove Asra from you. “I’m so sorry, Y/n.” The smell of alcohol reeks from Julian as well. He lowers his voice to address the white haired form desperately fighting to cling on to you. “Asra, this is the last place you need to be right now. I’ll take you back—“

“I can’t leave them!” Asra’s sudden scream startles the both of you. His white curls tangle as he shakes his head violently, “I can’t leave them again!” Finally, your very own sob makes your head fall, and a strangled sigh falls from Julian.

“Oh, dear, don’t cry… Please, Asra is just…” Julian’s hand meets your shoulder hesitantly, “He’s drunk… A few too many salty bitters will make you say the damndest things!” He tries to chuckle the gloom away from the two of you, but his light expression quickly falls away again. Julian’s good at many things, but consoling someone isn’t one of them; let alone consoling two people at odds with each other.

“Look, Asra… We need to go.” It seems Asra has no intention of listening to Julian, as his hands tighten their hold on you — his grip almost painful — and he meets your eyes with a pleading look.

“I know I shouldn’t love you…” His thumb runs gently, trembling, over your cheekbone, his gaze slowly tracing every feature, and he swallows thickly, “And yet…” His quaking hands move to smooth out your tousled hair with a smile that doesn’t reach his eyes, “I still do…” He releases his grip on you — you almost drop your head as his support leaves you — and takes Julian’s outstretched hands.

“Up ya go!” Julian grunts as he bears a majority of Asra’s weight. You’re left trembling on the ground. Julian stumbles down the steps with Asra, but he stops at the bottom. He turns over his shoulder, takes a deep breath, and then brings his eyes to yours. Earnestly, he says, “Y/n… I’m really sorry about all of this. He’s not… Handling things well right now—“

“You think?” You quietly snap. What the hell does he think he’s doing letting Asra get drunk when he knows he’s like this? Using the door to support your weight, you stand and bring your eyes to Julian. He’s quick to divert his eyes. “Wait here.” You demand as you spin around and begin to whip up a tonic for the hangover Asra will suffer tomorrow when he wakes up. For good measure, you include his favorite tea leaves, a slice of pumpkin bread, and another tonic for Julian. There’s a tremble in your hands as you work. You wrap the bundle up tightly, scribble a small note to Asra, and shove it toward Julian. He gently takes it, expression falling with a sigh at your shaken look; you’re barely containing another sob. He opens his mouth to say something.

“I—“

“Alcohol will not magically solve every that hurts!” You snap to the both of them with your arms crossing over your chest. Asra merely chuckles a bitter acknowledgment, but Julian looks to his feet with a shamed blush. “This goes for the both of you: never take up a bottle when something hurts. It doesn’t rinse it away… It makes it worse.” You pull your lips into a thin line in a sorry attempt to stop the trembling of your lips and jut your chin towards the package in Julian’s hand. “Brew it tomorrow morning for the both of you, it’ll help the hang over. Make sure you eat with it too!” You turn away with crossed arms, beginning to close the door to your shop, but you stop short. You turn around to meet Asra’s weary gaze, tears rolling across an expressionless face, “And Asra… Make sure you read that note too.” You shut the door before either of them can say anything else.

With the door shut and secure against them, you press your back against the smooth wood. The contrast of that cold wood and your hot palms sends a nauseating shiver through your body. Through your open window, the sounds of Julian scolding the magician and Asra spewing back to him his reasons and excuses carries through with the cold night wind. Your shoulders lurch forward and you slap your hand over your mouth to try and strangle the shrill of the sob that’s left you. There’s a weakness in your legs that makes you fall to your knees and cradle your head in your hands.

What do you do? What can you do?

Do you deserve to love anyone but Asra? Your body begins to tremble. Do you deserve any of what Asra has given you? Your body is hunched over. Do you deserve to be alive right now? You wonder if Asra will be able to answer your note tomorrow after he sobers up…

“I’m so sorry Asra. What do I do?” Is scribbled on that note to Asra, barely legible. That question… You’re not strong enough to answer it yourself. So you’ve asked him for guidance one last time; you promise it’s the last time…

What do you do?

[tendouluvr]

not telling them you’re pregnant - f!reader

- fluff, sliiiight angst maybe

- characters: suna, sakusa, semi

- warnings: pregnancy (i don’t go into detail of giving birth or anything), cravings, morning sickness aka throwing up, two mention of the act of sex in semi’s, some cursing

- wc: 1.4k, 888, 946

a/n: it’s f!reader cuz pregnancy but there’s no specific pronouns/gendered terms used

also idk how suna got so long, he was the last one i wrote for bc i couldnt think of anything lmao

[2. iwaizumi, atsumu, kageyama]

SUNA

#! suna has been practicing late into the night the past few weeks

#! there’s a big game coming up and the entire team is feeling the pressure and adrenaline from the crunch time

#! you haven’t been feeling too good lately, a lot heavier and more tired than usual

#! thinking it was just stress from work and the missing presence of your boyfriend, you pushed through it and thought it would go away in the next few days

#! unfortunately, luck wasn’t on your side and you started to get sudden needs to throw up

#! it didn’t take you long to realize why your physical and mental drive have been down lately

#! you’re pregnant

#! or you believe you are

#! you bought a few tests, some of different brands so you can have a variety, and headed home to confirm your suspicion

#! a few minutes later, staring back at you was multiple positive symbols and the bolded ‘PREGNANT’s

#! taking a few deep breaths, you decided to tell suna tonight once he comes home

#! you thought it was better to let him know as soon as possible

#! it wouldn’t hurt anyone plus the faster you rip the bandaid off, the easier it’ll be to deal with it

#! so you waited

#! and waited

#! until 11pm that night, when suna finally came through the front door

#! “tarō! how was practice? can we talk?” you hurriedly greeted him

#! he was taken aback, not expecting you to be right beside him and in his ear as soon as he came in

#! of course you weren’t, you made sure to put some space in between you and him

#! but suna was stressed and tired, so everything is intensified to him at the moment

#! “can you back up?” he mumbled, pushing his way from in front of you to walk to the kitchen

#! “oh, sorry. can we talk?” you sheepishly smiled, hoping he would say yes

#! you’re not blind, you can tell that suna was tired but you really didn’t wanna put this off

#! you were just gonna tell him, he gets surprised, you both talk it out, and then go to bed and continue figuring things out tomorrow morning

#! but before any of that can happen, suna bluntly told you, “no. i’m tired. i’m sure whatever it is isn’t a big deal. can it be tomorrow? i wanna sleep.”

#! you didn’t get to answer before he was already walking away to the bedroom

#! understanding where he was coming from, you mentally agreed to talk to him tomorrow. one day wouldn’t change anything and you’ve seen plenty of people not tell their partners until a few weeks in

#! he was right, it wasn’t a big deal (yet)

#! so you waited until tomorrow

#! and waited

#! and once again, he came home late

#! “hey! can we quickly talk, babe?”

#! “i’m tired. tomorrow, okay?”

#! “oh, okay. night, rin!”

#! “g’night.”

#! night came and there was still no talk

#! this continued on for about 2 weeks, you finally choosing to not care anymore and just let him find out whenever he finds out

#! technically, you could’ve just blurted out a simple, “i’m pregnant.” any point during your nightly five seconds conversations

#! but seeing that he really was tired, springing it onto him would either put him in a full body shock for three days or he just doesn’t fully process your words until three days after

#! a month has passed, your stomach was still barely showing like most women at their one month mark

#! you decided to book an appointment for a checkup, it’ll be while suna’s at practice

#! and that doctor appointment was the exact reason suna found out

#! he was at practice when komori entered the gym

#! he had a doctor’s appointment for his annual checkup, and that’s where he saw you

#! you didn’t see komori, busy reading the directory to find your way to the right office

#! but he saw you on the way out. seeing that you looked a bit busy, he chose not to greet you and just quickly walk to his car lmao why is this funny to me

#! entering the gym, he greeted everyone and apologized for his tardiness even though it was excused

#! walking up to suna, he tapped him on the shoulder and quietly told him, “i saw yn at the hospital earlier. it’s been awhile since we all got together huh, they looked a bit different.”

#! ok so komori, being the smart person he is, deducted that you were pregnant when he saw your finger pointing at the ob/gyn office

#! and he genuinely thought suna knew so his comment was suppose to be a small joke that was meant to tease suna and his sex life

#! suna, however, was confused

#! look different? did you get surgery?

#! “what do you mean?”

#! komori rolled his eyes and gave a sweet smile at suna, “congrats you two! when were you gonna tell the rest of us?”

#! suna: 👨‍🦲 huh

#! “are you guys not pregnant?” he blinked at suna’s frozen reaction

#! suna became unresponsive so komori just walked away mumbling to himself about being sure he read the sign right

#! a loud whistle blew and it shook suna out of his daze, everyone got ready to play a practice game of 3 vs 3 while suna ran over to the coach

#! “hey coach, um i think there’s an emergency at home. can i go? ok thanks.”

#! his coach just stares after him as he sprints off, you think? is there an emergency or not?

#! suna quickly drove home, he may or may not have speed a little, and entered the apartment

#! “yn? baby?” he called out only to be greeted back with silence

#! probably still at the hospital....what were you doing there? he thought to himself while rummaging around the house to find anything that could give him somewhat of an idea

#! he was digging around in the bedroom when you came home, his head so frenzied he didn’t hear the front door open

#! but you heard the ruckus from the bedroom and immediately went into fight or flight

#! panicking, you took out your phone to call suna while quietly opening the front door to make your way back out before the intruder catches you

#! the phone rang and rang until it was picked up. “suna?” you whisper-yelled into the speaker. you had a habit of calling him by his last name when you were freaking out. he noticed and was equally alarmed

#! “what’s wrong?” he whispered back just as panicked

#! “there’s someone in our apartment. can you come home?”

#! “huh? oh, are you home?” he cackles into the phone speaker making you move the phone away from your ear, “it’s me, sweets, c’mere.”

#! you warily walked on your tiptoes over to your bedroom, peeking your head in and what a surprise, it is suna

#! “jackass! why are you home?!”

#! “why didn’t you tell me?” he cut straight to the point

#! “huh?”

#! “you’re pregnant. when were you gonna tell me?” his voice sounding stern, but the quiet smile dancing on his face tells a different story

#! “i tried.”

#! “huh? what do you mean?”

#! “all those times i asked if we could talk. i was trying to tell you.”

#! his heart dropped, eyebrows furrowing, while he stared you down

#! suna became unresponsive once again, standing there trying to think back to the first time you asked him

#! two weeks ago

#! “i’m sorry,” he quietly whispers

#! “hm? i..it’s fine....i was a bit sad, but i’m over it. at least you know now,” you casually shrugged it off like it wasn’t a big deal

#! “no. i shouldn’t have pushed you aside like that. even if you weren’t pregnant, even if you had just wanted to tell me about some stupid video you saw that day, i shouldn’t have told you off. i’m sorry, i love you a lot and you deserve so much better.”

#! “tarō, shut up. i accept your apology and i forgive you, now make it up to me by giving me a back massage while i show you the ultrasound pictures!”

#! he kisses you before lifting you up bridal style making his way to the bed

SAKUSA

#! contrary to popular beliefs, sakusa is not an obsessive germaphobe who finds everything disgusting but you

#! he wouldn’t be playing volleyball if he was that afraid of germs,,,,,

#! yes, he cringes if random little kids grab onto him after games because 1) he’s drenched in sweat and that feeling is not fun

#! 2) he doesn’t even know themmm

#! and 3) he wanna go home

#! but sakusa loves you and if you happened to get pregnant, he would love your kid(s) just the same

#! however, he never told you this. he never really had a reason to voice this out loud

#! so when you actually did get pregnant, you were confused

#! the only interactions between sakusa and kids you’ve seen multiple times were the moments between him and his fans

#! you guys have been to family parties and his nieces, nephews, and cousins looooves him

#! maybe it’s the fact that he’s a tall looming giant and they just want to climb

#! but besides those moments, you don’t recall him ever telling you upfront that he wants children of his own

#! and the constant stress and pressure he always seem to be working around also doesn’t help reassure you in any way

#! being an athlete for a living means always watching your body, health, and looks for the cameras (but omi could care less about the last thing)

#! he also has to make sure whether or not he’s working well with his teammates, practice and improve on anything he’s having problems with, and deal with atsumu’s dramatic ass

#! you’re an overthinker and because of that, all of these reasons were just reasons for you to postpone the pregnancy news to your long term boyfriend

#! it wasn’t too hard anyway, considering practice runs late sometimes and he’s busy majority of the time doing other stuff

#! when you guys do have alone time together, you both are so focused on one another that you actually forget that you’re pregnant and you never told him

#! you’re about to hit the three months mark now — time goes by fast — and sakusa has noticed you and your body changing

#! at first he just thought you were going through a phase of cravings and a bit of bloating, so he didn’t mention it and just let you be

#! he never got to witness you getting morning sickness because he goes on early runs or he was just out doing morning errands so he wouldn’t have to deal with it later that day

#! so when he caught you in the kitchen cutting up a lemon, the last thing he was expecting you to do was bring the lemon directly up to your mouth

#! “uh, what are you doing?” his deep voice caught you off guard, effectively stopping the hand that was holding the lemon

#! you just stare at him, not wide-eyed, not surprised, just stare

#! “eating a lemon.”

#! “i can see that.... why exactly?”

#! “dunno, the baby i guess.” you casually shrugged it off before popping the lemon slice into your mouth

#! “ah-,” he opened his mouth to stop you from eating the lemon, your words not fully processing in his mind, but cut off midway and froze when he finally realized

#! hearing him pause like that made you suddenly remembered that you never told him you were pregnant

#! you slowly turned back to look at him, mouth still slowly chewing the lemon slices

#! a moment of silence later, he unfreezes and just starts stiffly walking towards you

#! he grabbed you by the shoulders, made you look him in the eyes, before whispering, “you’re pregnant?!”

#! “y-yes..”

#! his eyes were wide, black pupils expanding as he stared you down, his lips slowly curving into a small smile

#! “you’re pregnant....,” he whispers, mainly to himself, hugging your head into his chest

#! “mhm, get off me i’m trying to eat,” you gently pushed him off but he wouldn’t budge

#! “omiiii please, if you get off i’ll give you a slice,” you tried bribing him. he couldn’t tell if you were being serious or just teasing

#! “no.”

#! “um ok, two slices?”

#! “no.”

#! “omi!”

#! he giggles before opening his arms to let you go

#! “why didn’t you tell me?”

#! you didn’t reply right away, making him start to overthink

#! did you not want the baby? or did you not want a kid with him? did you not want to be with him anymore? or was it not his?!

#! he childishly shakes his head side to side at the last question. he knew you wouldn’t do that

#! but you were still silent, making him nervously glance at you from the side

#! “sorry, piece of lemon stuck in my teeth. i just forgot to tell you,” the words easily flowing out of your mouth nonchalantly

#! sakusa’s fingers were literally about to start twitching from anxiousness beside you

#! a sigh of relief was heard from him and you turned to look at him

#! “you okay?”

#! he doesn’t answer, just gives you a smile and goes back to hugging you from behind

SEMI

#! you were currently sitting on the couch in your shared apartment waiting for semi to come home

#! he’s been on tour for a few months now, you both kept in touch by facetiming, texting, calling, and any other methods of virtual communication

#! you would tune into the live recording of all of his performances when you had time so you could watch him

#! a few weeks into tour, you suddenly felt different than usual but shook it off as nothing and probably just you missing your boyfriend

#! you believed that until one morning you were woken up by the sudden urge to throw up, dashing to the restroom as fast as your drowsy body can go

#! it was then that you realized you might be pregnant

#! the night before semi left, you both had sex to enjoy your last few hours together before he had to leave for a few months

#! with the new realization, you quickly dressed yourself to make a short trip to the store to pick up some tests

#! after half an hour of looking at yourself in the mirror, trying to wrap your head around this, you finally opened the first box

#! a few minutes later, all 5 tests were lined up on the bathroom counter showing positive

#! you stared at the tests, trying to make sure you weren’t reading it wrong

#! once you began to understand the responsibility of being pregnant a few hours later, you made a mental note to go out and buy some food for yourself the next day

#! you decided to sleep off the rest of that day

#! through all of the facetime calls with semi, you never once told him you were pregnant

#! you knew that if you told him he would freak out and either demand to go back home, or stay but all of his attention would be on you being pregnant alone at home for the rest of the tour

#! so here you are now, sitting with a 4 1/2 months baby bump waiting for your beloved to come home

#! it was around 6pm when the front door opened, sounds of shuffling bags and heavy steps could be heard from the musician

#! he cursed under his breath when he almost tripped over a duffle bag with some of his loungewear, calling out for you as he walks further into the apartment, “baby? i’m home!”

#! he was about to speak up again when he saw you asleep on the couch

#! bouncing his way over, he got onto his knees at the edge of the couch to observe your face. god i miss you, he thought to himself

#! he gently shakes you awake, you jolted in surprise not knowing you fell asleep in the first place

#! “hmm- what?,” soft murmurs falling from your lips as you adjusted your eyes at your surrounding

#! “eita!” he grinned at you, both of you pulling each other into a hug

#! “fuck, i miss you so much.” he whispered into your ears before placing his face into your neck

#! “i miss you more.” you tightened your grip around him making him move up on the couch to get more comfortable

#! you both moved around until he had you cradled in between him, your back against his chest

#! his hands going under your his shirt to caress you there when his movements stopped right on top of your stomach

#! it was silent as his warm hands rubbed your stomach in circles, the gears turning in his head

#! “are you- you feel- why’s your tum so round and hard?” he quizzically asked, still rubbing your stomach

#! “pregnant.” your voice a low whisper, he almost didn’t catch it

#! “what?”

#! “pregnant.” you repeated, a bit louder this time

#! “huh?”

#! “pregnant!” you sighed, moving his hand so you can get off of him

#! he grabs your wrist to stop you from walking away and turns you to look at him

#! “you’re pregnant?!”

#! “i just said that. yes.”

#! you knew you sounded blunt and a bit mean, it wasn’t his fault he doesn’t know at all, but your hormones have been making you crankier and it’s out of your control

#! “sorry. yes, i’m pregnant.”

#! his eyes continuously darts up and down from your eyes to your bump

#! “how long?”

#! “since you left.”

#! “was it the night before?” he was referring to your act of intimacy the night before he left

#! “yea.”

#! “wow. why didn’t you tell me?”

#! “because.”

#! “‘cuz what?”

#! “because i know you. you would either stop touring and come home, or stay but lose focus. i was just trying to not distract you because i know how important your career is to you. and because i thought that you’ll be having a six months break after this tour before your next comeback, i would tell you when you came home. i’m sorry if you’re ma-,”

#! “i’m not mad. oh don’t cry, babe, look at me.”he carefully cups your face, “it’s okay, it’s okay. i get why you kept it from me. and now that i have no schedule for the next six months, i can be there for you until the end of your pregnancy and the beginning of our baby’s life alright?”

#! you weakly nodded against his palms, and he brings you back down to lay your head on his chest as you both softly talk about the past months without each other

[wosoimagines]

Protective - Jill Roord/Reader

prompt: Continuation of Little Sister where R is still with Arsenal and dating Jill Roord and now they’re living together, but she hasn’t told Kelley who is coming to visit.

warnings: none

words: 2049

(Y/N) POV

I let out a soft groan at the knock on the door from my spot on the couch. Jill chuckled at me. I didn’t want either of us to move so I was hoping that whoever was there would just leave. I thought they had since there were no more knocks for a moment, but, of course, the person knocked again.

I huffed as I got up from the couch and my spot cuddled next to Jill. I wasn’t sure who was here or why they were here. I opened the door.

“Kelley?”

“Hey, little sis,” Kelley grinned as she pushed past me and into the apartment. Jill got up from her spot on the couch once she saw Kelley. “Love what you’ve done with the place.”

“Kelley, what are you doing?” I asked as she put her bag down and looked at Jill.

“I’m visiting,” Kelley declared as she turned to look at me. She glanced at Jill. “Isn’t this only a two bedroom apartment?”

“Yeah,” I nodded. I wasn’t sure what Kelley was trying to get at. “Why?”

“Well, where am I supposed to sleep while I’m here?” Kelley complained.

“You can stay in my room,” Jill spoke up. Kelley turned to look at the Dutch player while I furrowed my brow in confusion. “(Y/N), you could take Kelley to that pub we all like for lunch. I can stay on the couch while Kelley’s here. I can move my stuff to your closet? I know you have a ton of room.”

“Yeah, sure,” I nodded. Kelley grinned at me as I grabbed onto her wrist. “Come on.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Once Kelley and I got back, I was surprised to find Jill wasn’t home. But I did notice that she had dragged the air mattress out.

“I’m gonna take a nap,” Kelley said. I nodded and watched her as she headed for the guest bedroom. I noticed that there was some of Jill’s stuff in there so I assumed she put it in there.

I sent a text to Jill to figure out where she was. It didn’t take long for her to let me know that she had gone to the practice field. I left a note for Kelley that I was going out to practice and that she could text me when she woke up.

It didn’t take me long to get to the practice field. I stopped at the edge to watch as Jill was working on her shots on goal. I could tell that she was frustrated from the way they were so sloppy and barely went in.

I ran out to join her and took the ball from her. I could hear the frustrated groan from Jill as I ran behind her and stopped to look at her. Jill turned to stare at me with her hands on her hips.

“You know, you didn’t have to move your stuff into the spare bedroom,” I softly said as Jill looked away from me. “You also didn’t have to offer to sleep on the couch. We could tell my sister.”

“Well, then, why haven’t you?”

“Because we haven’t even talked about telling anyone outside of our Arsenal teammates,” I pointed out. I wasn’t even sure if her own family knew that I was dating her. “On top of that, Kelley is nosy and she can’t really keep secrets that well.”

Jill sighed before walking over toward the sideline. I watched her for a moment before I decided to  follow behind her. I waited for Jill to sit down before sitting down myself. I made sure that we were facing each other, so that I could get a better read on how Jill really felt if she didn’t tell me the full truth.

“It’s just- Her being here?” Jill asked. I furrowed my brow. “How is it going to affect us? We have a routine. I don’t want to stop doing those things with you. Our weekly date nights? In our life, I love getting to look forward to those.”

“We don’t have to stop doing them,” I assured. I rubbed the back of my neck. “Look, I’m okay if we tell Kelley. Hell, I’m okay if we tell the world. So long as I get to be with you? I don’t care who knows. And no matter who comes to visit us, we never have to stop our routine.”

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

Jill sent me a smile before darting up. I was quick to follow her as she ran for the ball. I couldn’t help but laugh as she tried to keep it away from me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I wanna make sure you’re okay with telling her,” I said as I got in front of Jill so that I could lean against the door. “I don’t want to make you uncomfortable if you don’t want to tell her. If you don’t want to tell anyone, we don’t have to. It’s entirely up to you.”

“I want to,” Jill softly said. “I want to be able to show people that I’m with you.”

I smiled at her before pressing a quick kiss to her lips.

“Well, then, let’s tell my sister, yes?”

I reached behind me to open the door before we walked into our apartment. I wasn’t too surprised that once we dropped our gear off in the closet, we found Kelley cooking.

“Hey, I wasn’t sure when you guys would be back. I’m making chicken parmesan,” Kelley smiled at us. She threw the pan of chicken into the oven before actually turning to us. “How was practice?”

“Well, once someone was able to start hitting their shots on goal, it was pretty good,” I nudged Jill.

“Yeah, yeah, laugh it up,” Jill rolled her eyes. “Just because I was having a bad practice day.”

“Actually, there’s something I wanna tell you,” I said as I looked at Kelley. Kelley raised a brow as she turned to do something else. “Kelley, this is serious.”

“So is dinner,” Kelley said. She motioned to all three of us. “We’re all athletes. Gotta make sure that we’re all eating healthy.”

“No, Kel-”

“Which would you prefer? Mashed or roasted potatoes? I know you’re picky about them.”

“Roasted, but that isn’t-”

“So roasted potatoes it is.”

“I’m dating your sister,” Jill blurted out. Kelley stopped what she was doing immediately. I looked over at Jill and she glanced at me before looking at Kelley. I was a bit surprised that Jill was standing tall cause Kelley was glaring at her. “I’m dating her and we aren’t going to hide it just because you’re here.”

“What do you mean you’re dating my sister?”

“Exactly what I just said,” Jill said. She wrapped an arm around my shoulders and pulled me closer to her. “We’ve been dating for a while now.”

“Get your arm off of my sister,” Kelley said as she pointed the knife in her hand at Jill. Jill, however, stood strong and left her arm there. “I mean it. My little sister doesn’t date. Because when she dates someone, she gets hurt. And I am not going to let anyone else hurt my little sister.”

“Kelly, put down the knife.”

“No!”

“You don’t get to make choices for me! I get that you’re my older sister and it’s your job to be protective over me, but I’m a big girl,” I huffed. I pushed Jill’s arm off my shoulder as I walked around the counter to where Kelley was. “I’m allowed to date people. Besides, if I was going to date anyone, you would want it to be Jill.”

“No, because I don’t want you to date anyone.”

“Kelley, you don’t get to make decisions for me! If you don’t like it, you can go back to the US!”

I immediately turned around and headed out of the apartment. I wasn’t too surprised when I got out onto the street and I could hear Jill calling after me. It wasn’t until Jill grabbed onto my wrist and turned me around that I stopped.

“I’m sorry, I just-”

“It’s okay, (Y/N),” Jill quietly shushed me as she pulled me in for a hug. “It’s okay. You’re allowed to feel betrayed. You told your sister something huge and you wanted support.”

“Yeah, well, it seems to be a recurring theme with Kelley,” I softly said as I pulled back to look at her. “Can we just go to Viv and Lisa’s or even Daan and Beth’s for a little bit.”

“Yeah, of course,” Jill nodded. She pulled me back in for another hug. “Whatever you want. Your sister isn’t the only one who gets to be protective over you.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jill and I had stayed with Viv and Lisa for a couple of days while we let everything cool down. The only times we had stopped by our apartment was so Jill could run in to grab our gear so that I didn’t have to see Kelley. But it was after practice one day, that I figured that Jill and I should probably go home so that I could talk with Kelley.

It was why I found myself sitting in the car with Jill staring at our apartment building.

“I could always come in with you,” Jill said as she grabbed onto my hand.

“This is something I need to do by myself,” I smiled at her. Jill gave me a soft nod before pressing a kiss to my hand. “Go hang out with the other Dutchies. I know you guys love hanging out together.”

I got out of the car and I grabbed both of our bags before I headed in. I wasn’t too surprised to see Kelley jumping up from the couch once I shut the door. I dropped the bags by the door.

“We have to talk.”

Kelley only nodded before following me to the kitchen. I grabbed a water from the fridge before offering one to Kelley. Kelley nodded and took it from me.

“(Y/N), I’m sorry. I just-”

“I know, Kelley,” I said as I sat my water down. “I’m a big girl now. Mom and Dad have accepted it. Why can’t you? You can’t protect me from everything. Hell, I need to be able to make my own choices. I need to be able to make mistakes and learn from them. So why can’t you let me?”

“Do you remember when you were in kindergarten? There was this boy named Billy,” Kelley started.

“Yes, I remember Billy. I got a black eye making sure some other boys didn’t pick on him,” I nodded. I remember it well cause Mom had been worried sick but Dad was proud of me for standing up.

“I was picking you up one day and Billy asked who I was,” Kelley softly said. “When I told him who I was, he told me that I was the reason why you stood up for him. Because you said you wanted to be a protector like me. I never wanted you to have to feel like that because that was my job. I am the one who is supposed to do the protecting.”

“You can’t stop me from living my life, Kelley,” I said. Kelley sighed as she lowered her head. “A protective sibling talk would have been one thing. But you don’t get to make decisions for me. No one gets to make decisions for me but me.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I know, but that doesn’t mean anything. You told me that I couldn’t date my girlfriend,” I shook my head. “You fought me on making a decision about my career. You didn’t even want me to move here when this was the best option for me. I want you to leave.”

“(Y/N)-”

“Kelley! Please,” I begged. “Just go home. Go home and I will see you whenever I visit.”

Kelley didn’t move. I didn’t want to snap at her, but I didn’t even want her in England anymore.

“Now, Kelley!”

Kelley hung her head as she headed to the spare room to pack her stuff up. I shook my head before heading to my own room. I didn’t want to have to watch as my sister left because I wasn’t sure if we could even fix what was broken now.

[loki--fics]

Hey !!! I love your writing !!! Could I possibly request a super fluffy like wedding day where both you and Loki are nervous but it all goes away when you see each other and a wee lil bit of smut at the end? Totally cool if not !!! ✨💜

sorry this took so long, this was by far my longest oneshot! i wanted to fit in as much detail as possible, though i was tempted to turn this into a series as well haha. thank you for the request though, and feel free to ask for more :)) i hope you enjoy!

~

Loki's Bride

Pairing: Loki x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 4,668

Content Warnings: fluff, lots of smut at the end

~

It was late afternoon, the warm sun guarding against the chill of the autumn breeze. You sat in front of the window, your eyes closed as a handmaiden worked on your makeup, another one standing behind you working on your hair. They had been doing this for what felt like ages, but you didn't mind; it took your mind off of how nervous you were. But then, you had reason to be nervous - today was your wedding day.

The crisp breeze wafted in from the open window, caressing your skin like a whisper, but you could barely feel it over the cold pricks of anxiety. You and Frigga had been planning this day for months now, and throughout the months you had been excited, but now that the day was here, you were nervous.

"It is time for the dress, Lady Y/N," Said the handmaiden who did your hair. You recalled her stating that her name was Ingrid, and the other maiden was named Eira.

Nodding, you stood and walked with Ingrid to the wardrobe, from which she grabbed a large garment bag.

"Her Majesty had this dress made for you," Eira said happily as Ingrid unzipped the bag. You were met by the most beautiful dress you had ever seen, a creamy off-white number with off the shoulder sleeves and intricate gold lacing, the skirt wide and puffy with a short train. Its beauty was almost unreal.

"It's gorgeous," You said, your fingers brushing the fabric.

Eira slipped your robe off of your shoulders, placing it on the bed as Ingrid helped you carefully step into the dress. As she zipped up the back, it hugged your waist and bosom snugly, but not uncomfortably tight. It was a perfect fit, as were the shoes and the waist belt for the dagger ceremony.

"This is amazing," You breathed, smoothing out the dress. It felt as though you had been transported into a faerie tale, with the dress, the handmaidens, the stunning view you had from your window, and the fact that you were marrying a prince.. You were afraid it was too good to be true.

A knock sounded at the door, and Eria walked over to answer it. "Your Majesty!" She said, bowing. "I was wondering when you would arrive, we've just finished getting Y/N into her dress."

Your eyes met Frigga's as she walked into the room, ever the epitome of grace. "Dearest Y/N, you look beautiful!" She said happily, her eyes trailing over you.

"Thank you," You replied, bowing slightly. "The dress.. I'm not sure how I could ever thank you for it, it's perfect."

Frigga waved you off. "I assure you no thanks are needed." It was then that you noticed the square, velvet box in her hands, and she followed your eyes downward. "Oh, yes. This is for you as well, dear." She opened it, and resting inside was a beautiful gold circlet with emeralds and diamonds inlaid, delicately woven to resemble leaves.

"Oh, Frigga, you shouldn't have," You said, feeling tears well up in your eyes. "I couldn't possibly accept this!"

"You can, and you will," She said gently, removing the circlet from the box. Gently clasping it at the back of your head, she turned you toward the mirror. "Go look."

Your eyes widened in shock as you looked at yourself in the mirror. Never in your life had you looked so beautiful, you were sure of it; your skin had a dewey glow, your hair was left down and curled simply, with intricate braids on either side of your head connecting in the back, the circlet pulling the whole look together. You truly looked like royalty.

The thought still nagged, however, that this was all too good to be true. Turning away from the mirror with a sigh, you took a seat in front of the window once more.

"Is there something troubling you?" Frigga asked, shooing the handmaidens out of the room and taking a seat on the wooden bench next to you, her eyes alight with worry.

"This seems too good to be true," You admitted. "What if Loki realises that he's making a mistake, or he realises he doesn't love me anymore? I'm only a mortal, and he's going to live on far longer after I've gone from this world."

Placing her hand over yours, she spoke. "I know my son, Y/N, and I can see from the way he looks at you how deeply he loves you. Please trust that all will be well."

"He's going to have to watch me grow old and sick and die, while he stays perfect," You voiced. You had realised this quite some time ago, but hadn't let yourself truly come to terms with it until now, and you felt yourself begin to panic. "I'm going to die centuries before him, and then he'll remarry, and-"

"Y/N!" Frigga said, snapping you out of your ramblings. "Do not think of such things. Focus your mind on the love you hold for him, and the love he holds for you; a love as true and pure as yours does not happen often, believe that Loki will not allow anything to happen to you."

"Your Majesty," Ingrid spoke from the doorway. "It's time."

As the two of you stood, Frigga wrapped her arms around you in a warm embrace. "Focus on your love for him," She repeated in your ear. "All will be well, I promise."

~time skip~

All too soon, you stood facing the doors that led out into the garden, where the wedding was taking place. Thor was at your side, your arm looped through his as the two of you waited for the music to start, your cue to walk down the aisle.

"What if I forget my vows?" You asked frantically. "What am I supposed to do then?"

Thor chuckled, patting your hand. "Lady Y/N, you have been studying your vows for weeks, I have good faith that you will not forget them. However, if you do, simply speak from your heart."

You heard the low sound of the music begin, and that meant there was only a moment before the doors would open and you would face the people of Asgard and the Allfather, and you felt your heart race. "Please don't let me fall," You whispered.

"Never," Thor whispered back, squeezing your hand. Taking a deep breath, you squared your shoulders as the doors opened.

It took only a moment for your eyes to adjust to the light, and almost immediately you spotted Loki. As you and Thor began walking slowly, you watched Loki's eyes widen as he looked at you, his lips parting slightly as a blush rose to his cheeks. You saw nothing but love in his eyes, and you smiled as your own eyes took him in, looking handsome as ever in the Asgardian leather suit he so prided himself on.

Looking down, you saw that the white carpet that stretched from the doors to the altar was sprinkled with beautiful red bougainvillea flowers, which you'd requested as soon as you'd discovered that they were Loki's favourite. He noticed this as well, looking down at the flowers and giving you a small smile.

There were hundreds of people in attendance, most of them being residents of Asgard, many of whom you had yet to meet, all standing with their eyes on you. You saw many happy smiles, but also caught a few jealous stares from some of the women, and flushed. Continuing your slow steps, you focused your gaze back on the handsome groom waiting for you.

As you neared the altar, you spotted your team - your family, standing in the front rows greeting you with wide smiles. When you had first told them about your relationship with Loki, a year and a half after he'd returned to New York to gain pardon from the people of Earth, and six months after your relationship had begun, they were understandably shocked. But through your time spent with him, he had shown you a softer, gentler side to him, one that they had not yet seen. An even bigger shock came when Loki had proposed to you in front of everyone at the New Year's Eve party that Tony had thrown, but now, they expressed nothing but happiness for the two of you.

You felt your heart swell as you looked at them, even more so as you looked back at Loki, and it took everything in you not to pick up your dress, run to your groom, and throw yourself into his arms. This was everything you had dreamt of and more since he proposed to you eight months ago, and you wanted to laugh at yourself for being so nervous. How could you have thought, even for a second, that he would just stop loving you?

Thor pulled his arm out of yours, placing his hand on your shoulder and smiling as he took his place with the rest of the team in the front row. You picked up your dress and walked up the steps of the beautiful stone gazebo, decorated with bright, beautiful flowers and leaves, taking your place across from him.

"You are stunning, my love," Loki said quietly, his blue eyes gazing into your e/c ones as he took your hands.

"As are you," You replied, squeezing his hands. "I cannot wait to spend the rest of my life with you."

"Nor can I."

The music quieted as Odin stepped in front of the two of you and raised his hands, cueing everyone to take their seats.

"Good evening, people of Asgard and guests." Lowering his hands, he continued. "Today, we have taken ourselves out of our usual routines of daily living to witness the union between Loki of Asgard, and Y/N of Midguard." He gestured to each of you respectively. "As Loki and Y/N prepared for the ceremony, they took time to reflect upon what it is they love in the other, and they will now state these vows, starting with the groom."

Loki smiled at you lovingly. "I, Loki of Asgard, by the life and seidr that flows through my blood and the love that resides for you within my heart, take you by my hand, my heart, and my spirit, to be my chosen one. There is not a moment where you do not take my breath away, and I will never seek to change you in any way. I will trust and respect you as your own person and realise that your needs are no more important than my own.

"I hereby promise to love you wholly and completely, without restraint, in sickness and in health, in plenty and in poverty, in this life and beyond, where we shall meet, remember, and love again. I will grow along with you and I am willing to face change with you. I will always respect you, your beliefs, your people and your ways as I respect myself, as I am your partner and we shall be equal in all things.

"I cannot begin to describe how happy I am to have won the joy of such a consort, and I will forever delight in the love of you. I will cherish each tear to fall from your eyes, both in sadness and in joy, and I will do my best to ensure you are safe and secure, and to honour the love you have for me. To find someone as special as you, out of all in the Nine Realms, is something I never imagined possible. Today, Y/N, I give myself to you and vow to love you eternally."

You couldn't stop the tears that welled up in your eyes as he finished, looking at you with such love and adoration you had to restrain yourself from kissing him then.

"And now, the bride will state her vows," Odin said.

Taking a deep breath, you squeezed Loki's hands. "I, Y/N of Midguard, by the life that flows through my blood and the love that resides for you in my heart, take you by my hand, my heart, and my spirit, to be my chosen one. I promise to love you when you are confident in yourself, as well as when you cannot bear your own reflection. I will love you when all is perfect, and when it seems all is falling apart. I promise to never judge you, nor your feelings, and to listen to you always, even when it's hard.

"From the moment our paths crossed you have surprised me, distracted me, captivated me, and challenged me in a way that no one ever has. I have fallen in love with you countless times, again and again, without reservation, and I still cannot believe that I am allowed the honour of being your bride.

"Whilst I cannot promise that dark clouds will never hover over our lives, or that the future will bring us many rainbows, I can promise that regardless of what lies ahead I will be by your side through all of it. You have my everlasting devotion, my loyalty, my respect, and my unconditional love.

"You are what makes my life a joy to live, and I vow to cherish every moment that I get to spend in your company. I would, on no uncertain terms, do anything for you. I will always choose you, in this life and every one beyond, in any world, and in any version of reality, I will find and choose you. Today, Loki, I give myself to you and vow to love you eternally."

"Now," The Allfather said after a beat of silence, "The couple will now exchange their handmade daggers."

The two of you released each other's hands, and you turned behind you to receive the dagger that you had made for Loki from Frigga. At the same time, Loki had turned to Odin for the dagger he made for you. Turning back to each other, you each held up your daggers, then Loki leaned toward you and placed the dagger into your waist belt, and once he was finished you repeated his actions, placing your dagger into his waist belt.

"Present your rings," Odin said, and both of you complied.

"I give you this ring as a symbol of my love everlasting," Loki said as he slid the ring onto your finger.

"I give you this ring as a symbol of my love everlasting," You repeated, sliding the ring onto his finger.

Odin spoke once more. "Loki of Asgard, and Y/N of Midguard, today you celebrate one of life's greatest moments and give recognition to the worth and beauty of love. As you have stated your vows with your lips, so you shall seal them with your lips."

Throwing your arms around your now husband, you pressed your lips to his with such force it was as though you had been starved of his kiss for years. The thundering applause and shrill cheers seemed to fade away as you kissed Loki, your fingers tangling in his jet black hair as his hands wrapped around your waist and lifted you, spinning you in a circle.

Setting you back down, Loki broke the kiss, leaning his head against yours and looking at you longingly. "I love you so very much, Y/N," He whispered with a smile.

"I love you, too, Loki," You whispered back, feeling happier than you had ever thought possible.

~time skip~

After you had changed out of your wedding dress into your reception dress, you and Loki enjoyed the festivities and feast for a while, dancing in merriment with everyone until Loki had pulled you aside.

"I need to speak with you," He said lowly, leading you over to the balcony. The two of you stepped out into the crisp night air, and Loki shut the doors, presenting you with a black box.

"What is this?" You asked, confused.

"I have one last proposal to make," He said, getting down on one knee. "If you truly wish to spend forever with me," Opening the box, a single apple that appeared to be made of gold rested inside, "All you need do is eat this apple."

Your throat felt tight as you looked at the apple. "Loki…"

"This is an Apple of Idun, it is what originally granted the Gods and Goddesses immortality, and if you wish, it will grant it for you as well," He explained.

Your eyes welled up with tears as you touched the apple. It was cool, and felt like a normal apple. Frigga's words from earlier when you voiced your fear of dying before Loki poured into your mind and you gasped. "Frigga-?"

"It was her idea," He admitted. "She convinced Idun to spare an apple in the name of love. Do you accept?"

You sank to your knees, putting yourself at the same level as Loki. "Forever?" You asked, searching his eyes.

"Forever," Loki replied sincerely.

Slowly grasping the apple, you considered the weight of what you were about to do. Were you truly ready to give up mortal life, to live for thousands of years like the people of Asgard?

Looking into Loki's blue eyes, full of love and hope, you knew the only answer was yes. For him, you would do anything.

Bringing the apple to your lips, you sunk your teeth into the soft flesh, biting a chunk out and chewing it slowly. It was sweeter than any apple you'd ever eaten on Earth, perfectly ripe with juices trickling down your chin. Taking another bite, you almost moaned at how delicious it was, reveling in the taste. It seemed the apple had no core, no seeds, so it was unable to be replanted, and you were able to eat the entire thing.

You felt something akin to the feeling of your limbs falling asleep, the tingling sensation spreading over the whole of your body. Your vision blurred, and you would have fallen back if Loki had not caught you and laid you in his lap. A strange, out of body feeling overtook you, as though you were hovering over the two of you, the body laying in Loki's lap no longer yours. It was as if the universe had poured a bit of its everlasting essence into your veins, feeling like the purest magic had filled your body. Then, as soon as it started, it was over.

Vision cleared, you looked up at your husband, seeing him much more clearly than you had before. Every strand of hair caught your attention, every wrinkle in his suit, every line in his hands.

"You are breathtaking," You gasped, your eyes wide in awe. "What just happened?"

Loki smiled softly. "You became immortal."

Sitting up, you threw your arms around Loki, and he grunted, your new strength taking him by surprise. "I cannot wait to spend forever with you," You whispered. "I love you so much."

"Nor can I, my love," He whispered back.

~ time skip ~

The two of you had rejoined the festivities, dancing and grazing on the plethora of food, conversing with the people of Asgard and your team, but now it was time for your honeymoon to officially begin.

Grasping your hand, Loki put his lips to your ear. "I do believe it is time we consummate our marriage, my love," He said lowly.

You felt heat blossom in your core, and blushed. Bidding goodnight to your team, you followed Loki out of the room, followed by a chorus of cheers and wolf-whistles. Tonight was the first night you were to be intimate with Loki in such a manner - he had been being watched by Heimdall and the Allfather most of the time the two of you had been dating, so you had only been able to steal kisses here and there. Not the most romantic, but it was better than nothing.

Now, however, as Loki pulled you to his chambers, you felt almost as nervous, if not more so, than you had before the ceremony. No one was watching you now, the two of you were utterly alone.

Loki stopped outside the door to his chambers, turning to you. For a moment you were confused, but then he scooped you up, bridal style, and carried you over the threshold. The door closed with a solid thud behind you as he walked you to his bed, setting you down gently. After the ceremony you had changed into a shorter dress, the hem reaching your mid-thigh, with a white skirt and lace top that wrapped around your neck. Now, Loki eyed it hungrily, wanting it off.

Gently holding the back of your head in his hand, Loki kissed you, laying you down slowly as he hovered above you. His lips claimed yours completely, his tongue swiping along your lower lip. You gasped lightly, and he took the opportunity to slide his tongue into your mouth. Feeling a familiar tingling sensation, you realised Loki had used his magic to remove the clothing from both of you, leaving you in undergarments, and you blushed, instinctively moving your arms to cover yourself.

Pulling back, Loki met your eyes. "Hear this now. You need never cover yourself in front of me. You are a treasure to behold, my love, and in my eyes, you are nothing short of perfection." His hands gently pried yours away from your body, his eyes relishing the sight. "There is not a single soul in the Nine Realms that I would rather be with right now, and not a single thing in the Nine Realms that could take me away from you. I love you, not only for your body but for your soul, your mind, your heart and your spirit."

He said every word with such sincerity, his eyes showing nothing but love for you, that you could think of only one thing to say.

"Kiss me."

He did, with an intensity that rivaled every other kiss he'd ever given you, including your wedding kiss. It was so filled with passion that you were certain no being in the Nine Realms and beyond had shared such a kiss before, it felt as though the universe itself was bowing from the vehemence of the kiss.

Every inch of your skin that Loki caressed seemed to be set alight, and you were certain that, had you not been holding him, you would have floated away to Valhalla. You felt his hardened member brush the thin lace veil that covered your core, and were unable to quiet the moan that fell from your lips as your hips bucked, desperate for more.

Loki's lips left yours, venturing down your jaw, your neck, your collar, kissing every inch of exposed skin. You were hot and cold all at once, your body nearly vibrating from the force of your arousal as his lips travelled lower, between your breasts, down your stomach, to your thighs. He peppered delicate kisses along the inside of your thighs, looking up at you as his fingers hooked in the waistband of your panties.

"Is this okay?" He asked, pausing.

"Oh Gods yes, Loki," You breathed, your chest heaving with the force of your breaths as you met his eyes.

Slowly, deliberately, he pulled the thin lace fabric down your hips, tossing them to the side as he took in the sight of your glistening core before him. He pressed two long, dexterous digits against your opening, sliding them inside of you and pumping at an agonisingly slow pace. His head dipped down, lips just barely brushing your sensitive nub, inhaling your sweet, musky odour before pressing a kiss to your core.

"Please, Loki, stop teasing me," You whined, gripping the sheets.

He smirked. "As you wish." With force, he launched an assault with his lips, his tongue expertly swirling around your nub whilst his fingers curled perfectly against your g-spot. Your eyes rolled back in your head as you moaned loudly, fingers tangling in his soft raven locks.

Loki's free hand gripped your thigh so tightly as he devoured you, you were sure it would bruise. He moaned, sending delicious vibrations through your core and your orgasm ripping through you with a force you had never before felt, your body set aflame as his name fell repeatedly like a prayer from your lips.

Pulling his head back, your husband looked at you with dark, lust filled eyes as he brought his fingers, covered with your arousal, to his lips. Slowly, he put them in his mouth, sucking off every bit of your juices before pulling them out and climbing on top of you, pressing a kiss to your lips and allowing you to taste yourself.

"You are sweeter than the finest søt vin," Loki said lowly.

Butterflies were no match for the hurricane that erupted in your stomach. "I want you," You begged softly. "All of you. I'm yours."

With a flick of his wrist, the rest of the clothing was removed from both of you. Your eyes moved down, almost of their own accord, taking in the size of his member. You were no virgin, and you were sure Loki wasn't, either but you had never been with someone of such size and girth, and it would be dishonest to say you weren't intimidated.

"I'll be gentle, love," He said softly, his hand caressing your cheek.

"I trust you," You replied, leaning into his touch.

Kissing you softly, you felt the God position his manhood at your entrance, sinking himself into you slowly. He groaned at your tightness, his head falling into the crook of your neck as he waited for your hole to adjust to his large size. The sensation of being so wholly filled by him was a bit painful, your walls stretching to their limit as they tried to accommodate him, and after a moment you bucked your hips.

Pumping into you slowly, the pain morphed into pleasure as your legs wrapped around his waist, allowing him to sink deeper into you. He quickened the motions of his hips, the head of his manhood perfectly hitting your g-spot as he thrust into you. Both of you were moaning, your lips roaming each other, hands groping anywhere they could reach as Loki plunged into your opening again and again.

"Please, harder," You moaned, gripping his shoulders.

All too happy to oblige your request, Loki brought his hips to meet yours with such force that you saw stars. Moaning loudly, your nails dug into his skin as he thrust into you harder, his movements growing faster as you both neared your climax.

Wrapping his arms around you, Loki pulled you upright so that you were sitting on his lap, continuing to pound into you as he brought your nipple into his mouth, swirling his tongue around it before nibbling lightly. Delirious with pleasure, you gripped his hair and pulled, earning a loud moan as his nails raked down your back. He smashed his lips to yours, and you bit his lip so hard it drew blood as your orgasm hit you with even more force than the first, your primal screams of pleasure filling the room as he buried himself to the hilt inside of you, releasing his seed as he shouted obscenities.

After a final few pumps, he pulled out of you, the two of you falling back onto the mattress, limbs entangled and your head on his chest.

"I will never grow tired of that," You giggled, fingers drawing lazy swirls on his pale skin. "This has been the best day of my life."

Loki smiled. "It was mine as well." The two of you were covered in a sheen of sweat, and with a lazy wave of his hand, the window opened and a cool breeze wafted over the two of you.

"I love you," You said sleepily.

"I love you," He replied.

"Forever?"

"Forever."

[tacticaldiary]

Having a relationship w/ Oikawa based on a bet and the gf heard it when the seijoh 4 talked about it making oikawa panicked when he knows his gf heard it.. ahh angst to fluff? Hehe thank youuuu

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This was fun to write. :)

Betting on You

Pairing: Reader x Oikawa Tooru

Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Angst, a lil fluff

He couldn’t lose her, anyone but her. He shouldn’t have accepted the bet. Needless to say, Oikawa Tooru has a lot of regrets right now. Opening up and being vulnerable to his partner was thankfully not one of them, even if it had ended up with them crying in each others arms. 

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Mumbling incoherently, Y/N reaches out next to her in the bed, trying to find the warm body that usually occupied the space next her. Frowning when she feels only the bedsheets, she opens her eyes and squints. There’s no one next to her. 

“Tooru?” she mutters softly, yawning and sitting up. He was always there, clinging to her, holding her close. Strange. She decides to wait for him, wanting his warmth to fall asleep with. The guy was like a living heater, which was useful during cold winter nights like this one. 

Twenty minutes pass and he still doesn’t come back. Furrowing her eyebrows, Y/N sighs and pulls herself to the edge of the bed, slipping on a pair of slippers. She shivers a little when the cold air hits her skin, but continues slowly towards the door to their shared bedroom. Opening it with a quiet creak, she immediately hears voices. A little confused, she quietly keeps walking, stopping at the doorway to the living room. 

She tilts her head in confusion when she sees Tooru laying on the couch, tapping away at his phone. It appears he’s on a voice call on speaker. 

“Almost three months.”

“Honestly, none of us expected you to last this long.”

Her eyes widen as she hears familiar voices. Matsukawa and Hanamaki?

“You’re still keeping him to that?” Iwaizumi? What were they doing this late at night? The clock on the wall tells her it’s 2 in the morning. 

“Obviously. I thought the money was pretty much guaranteed.”

“Can you blame us? He’s never kept someone around for more than a month.”

“Shut up.” Tooru's quiet voice reaches her ears. What money? What was going on?

“You’re not going to win.” comes Iwaizumi’s annoyed voice. “It’s Y/N.”

“Yeah, but before her it was also Mika-Chan and Yui-Chan and Hina-Chan and Aiko-Chan and-”

“Alright, I get it. Iwa-Chan’s the only one who’s on my side.” he pouts, cutting off Hanamaki’s annoying high-pitched imitation of him. 

“We still don’t know why. You’re obviously going to lose the bet. It’s inevitable.” Matsukawa claim confidently

...Bet?

“I’ll win in a few days, if you haven’t noticed. Nothing’s gonna happen in a few days.” Tooru rolls his eyes.

“And then you’ll dump her?”

Y/N suddenly feels cold, and it has nothing to do with the weather. Dump her? Bet? WHat was going on? Her mind was racing. Tooru hadn’t indicated that he was unhappy, or wanted to break up. He was always telling her how much he loved her. Was he lying? She felt a little sick at the thought.

“Yeah, the bet was to keep someone around for more than three months. You’ll be done in a few days. What’re you gonna do then?”

What?

“A bet?” she says aloud, her voice hollow with shock.

Tooru jumps and drops his phone, quickly turning around to see his girlfriend looking at him in horror. 

“Y-Y/N-Chan...” he scrambles to his feet and ends the call, wondering how much she had heard. “I thought you were asleep?” he quickly moves towards her, reaching out to touch her shoulder. He freezes when she backs away, shaking her head in disbelief. 

“A bet, Tooru? A bet?” 

“What-? Wait, Y/N...it’s not what you think-”

“Keep me around? You were dating me for a...bet?” her voice starts shaking a little, as she remembers how mere hours ago, he was holding her, assuring her how much he loved her.

“No! I-”

“Am I a game to you? A bet? Are you fucking kidding me?” She nearly laughs, because of course he would only date her for a bet. Of course. 

He frantically shakes his head, reaching out for her again, but thinking better of it when he glares at him with eyes full of unshed tears. His eyes widened. This wasn't supposed to happen. It wasn’t supposed to go like this. “Y/N-Chan, listen to me, please, let me explain.” he sounds panicked. 

She clenches her jaw. “I should have seen this coming. Of course the Oikawa Tooru wouldn’t go out with someone like me.” She lets out a bitter chuckle at his stunned expression. Before he can interrupt, she pushes on. “Why would you, when you have girls, so much more perfect than me, throwing themselves at your feet all the time?”

“Y/N-” he’s trying desperately to get a word in, wincing when she raises her voice to overpower his. 

“Mika-Chan and Yui-Chan and Hina-Chan.” she imitates, recalling the phone call. Tears she’s tried to keep at bay finally start trickling down and Oikawa’s heart twists painfully, knowing that he was the one who caused it. “Obviously, the only reason you’d consider me was because of a bet, a fucking bet, Tooru.” she cries out angrily. 

“Y/N-Chan, listen to me.” he says seriously, grabbing her shoulder and looking her in the eyes. “I love you. I’ve loved you since the beginning. The bet means nothing to me.”

Her next word feel like a punch to the gut. 

“Bullshit.” she whispers, before repeating herself louder. “Utter bullshit. You never loved me.”

“I did, I do!” he insists. 

“If you did, it wouldn’t have taken a bet for you to ask me out!” she roughly shoves his hands off her. Taking a deep breath, forcing herself to ignore his hurt look. “It’s my fault too, isn’t it? I should’ve known better than to accept dating the Oikawa Tooru, the school heartthrob, notorious for playing around.” her words are laced with venom and self-pity. “There’s always gonna be someone better. Someone prettier, skinner, funnier. I was stupid for thinking you would ever fall for me.” All her insecurities come spilling out, accumulated from months of dating him, enduring the comments whispered under the breath by jealous students, girls openly flirting with her boyfriend. She was stupid to think she would ever be enough.

Pushing past him, wiping her sleeves across her eyes, she storms back into the bedroom, Oikawa at her heels behind her. She grabs her pillow and a blanket, turning back around and moving to the couch in the living room. She does her best to ignore her boyfriend's desperate attempts to gain her attention, begging her to give him a chance to explain. She sets up the items and lays on the couch, pulling the blanket to her chin and turning to face the back of the couch.

She refused to sleep anywhere near him. When he doesn’t stop talking she says coldly:

“Leave me alone. I want nothing to do with you.”

“No.”

She pauses. “No?”

“Not until you hear me out.” He crosses his arms.

“I’ve heard enough.”

“It’s a misunderstanding. If you’d just let me explain-”

“I’ll be out of your hair tomorrow.”

He was dreading that. He really does love her, so fucking much. He doesn't want to lose her.

“Y/N-”

“I’m going to sleep.” She had never spoken to him in that tone before.

She hears a sigh after a few moments of silence, in which he realises that she was going to be stubborn till the end. Y/N hears him walk away and she buries her face in the blanket, silently crying to herself. She freezes when she hears the bedroom door close with a ‘click’ and footsteps approaching her. She turns around a little, to see Oikawa sitting at the foot of the couch with his own blanket and pillow. He doesn’t look at her, focusing on fluffing his pillow and pulling his thicker, warmer quilt over himself. He was equally as stubborn and wasn’t going to leave her alone like this.

She scoffs and settles back down again, still crying. If he notices, he doesn’t comment on it. The two lay in silence for a good thirty minutes. Y/N had stopped crying, but was still awake because how the hell was she supposed to fall asleep after what she had learnt? 

She’s startled when she suddenly hears Oikawa’s soft voice. “I love you, you know? I really do. Ever since I saw you in Chemistry last year. You caught my eye so quickly, and I flirted with you for weeks before you got the hint.” he laughs breathily. “You didn’t want my attention like everyone else, and I was curious. It felt different to be the one trying to get someone else’s attention.” he takes a deep breath, and she realises with a start that she’s never heard him this vulnerable. He probably thinks she’s asleep. 

“I was planning to ask you out before and I told the others and they laughed at me.” he frowns at the memory. “The assholes thought I was kidding, that I wasn’t serious. Iwa-Chan was the only one who took it seriously. I don’t blame them, cause I’d only ever dated for fun before.” He breathes in deeply again, steadying his voice and Y/N’s eyes widen when she realizes he’s holding back tears. 

“So when they bet that I couldn't last more than 3 months with you, I agreed, but only because I was going to ask you out anyway, and I intended on staying as long as I could. As long as you’d let me stay by your side.” He lets out a sad, watery chuckle, and Y/N feels her stomach drop. She never wanted to hear that sound from him again.

“I...shit, I don’t want to lose you. I can’t. You’re the only one for me. I don’t think I’ll ever stop loving you.” A strangled, muffled sob, reaches her ears, and it takes all of her willpower to remain still. 

“I’m serious about you...about us. You’re not a game, you never were. I just wanted to be with you. I want to be able to hold you again.” another muffled cry, as he buries his face in his hands. He’d never willingly let anyone see himself like this, not even Y/N. He was glad she was asleep. 

“I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry, princess.” he stays where he is, sitting up leaning back on the couch, calming himself down, letting out soft hiccups every now and then. 

Y/N is wide awake, thinking over his words. They had to be genuine, right? He had no idea she was awake. He had sounded so...real and vulnerable, nothing like the strong façade he usually put up in front of others. Taking her chances, she discreetly moves, eyes widening when she sees the state he’s in. 

One of his hands is over his mouth, muffling his small sobs, Y/N wants to cry as she realises it’s probably so he doesn’t wake her up. His other hand is clenched tightly in his brown hair, his knees drawn to his chest. His face was blotchy and red and wet with tears. She’s never seen him like this. She moves and he doesn’t notice. 

Sitting directly behind him, she gently grabs the hand in his hair, to which he nearly jumps out of his skin. Y/N would usually laugh at the reaction, if not for the way he was looking up at her. She eases his hand out of his hair and holds it, tugging him up to the couch. He hesitates, before climbing up, sitting on the cushion next to her. 

“You-” his voice wavers, and he tries again. “You were awake?”

She nods, glancing at their connected hands, before staring at the ground. She hears his sharply take in a breath. 

“Y/N...love, I meant it. I meant every word, I swear.” 

“We’ll talk tomorrow.” she mumbles, tugging on his hand again, until they're both laying on the couch. She reaches over and grabs Oikawa’s quilt and pulls it on the two of them. She relaxes against him when his arms automatically wind around her waist and he buries his face in her hair, pressing small kisses on her. Each was an unspoken apology. 

She knows he’s crying when she feels the tears hit her skin. 

He knows she’s crying when he can feel her shaky, irregular breaths.

They lay there, eventually falling asleep clutching each other tightly, both of them hurting on the inside. They would have to have a serious talk tomorrow, but both had a blooming hope that they would pull through. 

Requests are open and Welcome. Thanks for reading!