#i’m not actually doing anything for april fools day

[0vergrowngraveyard]

april fools day prank except i just write fluff that doesn’t eventually turn into angst

[pine-the-mighty]

*cough cough hack hack cough hack*

[asherthecatlvr]

I saw that you do Male Reader requests and wanted to ask you smth while I’m on boop-attacks.

Anyway. Could you do HC’s with Lucifer (obey me) with a male reader who takes more initiative? Can be sexual or non sexual, or both, whichever you prefer!

Happy April Fools Day, btw! 💙

Remember to eat well ✨

Yeah ofc, and happy April Fool’s to you too

Lucifer with an Assertive M!MC

Sfw and Nsfw Hc’s

Lucifer admired your personality, since most of the time you were able to control his brothers. You were able to control what would happen, and that gave him less work

Being in a relationship with you was.. Interesting for him. He had a habit to help humans, he knows how weak they are. Hes usually caught off guard when you reject his offers

He does slowly learn you dont need help most of the time, he still helps out behind the scenes if youre that stubborn and get into bad situations

He still loves your company, stubborn or not. Hes just used to taking control. No matter what… kind of situation hes in.

When he finally gets more comfortable with you, he gets a bit surprised when you asked to take control

Its not like he didn’t expect it, just needs a bit to actually compose himself (and be ready to actually remember some spells to make sure no one hears outside the room)

And man he needed those spells, since this was the first time he actually was the bottom

He will break after a bit of teasing, his confident act breaks whenever youre around

After a bit of teasing and slowly prepping him, his low voice rises at least an octave and hes practically trembling

If you decided to be nice, expect a lot of noise from him. You only hear it muffled, since itll just ruin his pride if he knew you heard all the noise he made loud and clear

If not then… well, still a lot of noise. Most is just begging though, he’ll even get on his knees just so you stop teasing him!

Even if hes The Avatar of Pride, he’d happily throw his confidence away and beg like some slut just so you actually fuck him properly

Hes adorable when you finally give what he wants after teasing, hes moaning like some succubus and so easy to oversimulate<33

After using him, he’d be a mess. Even if you were gentle, he’d be tired and worn out

Give him aftercare and he’ll realize everything, like he was drunk or something during it. He’ll deny it and make sure nothing gets out, and makes sure you don’t mention anything

But if he gets too pushy go ahead and punish him, he might just be more strict on you if you do..

[disneyprincemuke]

the greatest love of all time is over now * milo+rocky vault

notes: happy april fool's aka the day i decide to be deranged again lolsie

enjoy yourselves with this one cuz i for sure had fun writing this (I've been emotionally ruined by writing this actually like it's so serious for me)

(series masterlist) | (📁 the milo + rocky vault)

what was supposed to be a peaceful meet-up to recuperate before spending months apart for separate commitments has taken the rudest turn. and it’s so unlike them to be in this predicament — they typically always find a way around difficult bouts of compromisation.

but how can something that was once easy be so difficult to tackle now?

she finds herself on the bed, slouched with the blankets still loosely covering her legs with milo now up on his feet.

“you seriously haven’t changed your mind?”

“what’s that supposed to mean?” she asks softly, furrowing her eyebrows at him. “you’ve seen the state of my career. i’m so close — i can’t be thinking about having kids at all, miles!”

he sighs. it’s not that he ever expected her to exchange her position in the sport, but there has to at least be some point in her life when she sees herself settling down and starting a family. there’s just no way she doesn’t see the same thing.

“not ever? we’re not getting any younger, rocks,” his laugh is dry as he says it, pointing between himself and her, “you have to at least have an idea about where we’re going with our relationship.”

“why do we have to have it all figured out? where’s the clock that’s running against us?” she sits up slightly straighter and presses her lips together. “we’re at the peak of our careers. why are we having this conversation again?”

“because i know that i want a family someday, rocks.” he runs a frustrated hair through his hair and tugs slightly. “i want that with you — settling down somewhere quiet someday and having kids. but if you’re still saying now that that’s not what you want…”

“i never even said that!” she squeaks, feeling the tension in the air hanging heavy. she’s got a weight on her chest now that she can’t seem to brush off and a funny feeling in her stomach. truthfully a feeling that she hasn’t been able to ignore since she walked in the door of milo’s apartment in los angeles.

“i do wanna marry you, but having kids… i’m an athlete, milo. i don’t,” she pauses as tears flood her eyes, “think i ever want to have kids.”

the silence overcomes them. the engines of cars passing by don’t even matter now, and the lights that occasionally light up his dimmed bedroom never come into play. though typically, they have cussed at every single one of them for causing a disruption to their downtime at this time of the night.

it’s the sudden realisation that it felt like this conversation was always going to happen somehow, someday, eventually. she just hadn’t realised that it would come so soon at 25. she never thought of kids, never saw herself having any, and has never favoured the thought of permanently altering her body for one.

“are you serious?”

she crawls out of his bed and shrugs. “i’ve never seen myself having kids,” she admits softly, looking down at her hands. “i don’t think anything is going to change that at all. i don’t want to bear kids with my body.”

“rocks…”

“it’s not fair, what you’re asking of me,” she says in a whisper, the lump in her throat growing as she chokes up. “ i don’t… we have to figure this out. and we will. let’s just sit down and talk about it.”

“we have talked about it.” she lifts her head to look at him, shaking her head. her biggest nightmare is coming to fruition and it’s just. not. fair. “we cannot keep having this conversation every couple of months as a joke and then brush it off again. rocks, this our lives and future we’re talking about.”

“what do you want me to do?” she cries with a soft and nervous chuckle. “this isn’t something that i can just change my mind on. i don’t want to ever get pregnant. i don’t want to step away from racing unless i really have to in a circumstance that i didn’t bring upon myself.”

he sighs, “i think you know what it means.”

“no, it’s not fair,” she mumbles under her breath, shaking her head. she looks up and meets his despaired stare, her knees almost buckling at the way he sighs. “we have to figure this out. just sit down.”

he runs a hand through his hair. it’s not like he wants to break up with her. he loves her, even 3 years ago when she first mumbled about not wanting to have kids.

realistically, he should have taken her seriously. but how was he supposed to? they were both young and in love; 3 years ago, he didn’t even know he ever wanted kids and a family himself. but with age, it changes.

perspective changes with time.

or at least that’s what he keeps telling himself. he doesn’t know when his mind started to change about their foreseeable future, and he knows it’s unfair what he’s trying to ask of her.

he loves her, but he’s not going to force her if she doesn’t want to.

“rocks, we’re gonna get nowhere with this,” he mutters, sighing shakily. “we have the same conversation every time. i can’t– there’s no possible way around this.”

“there has to be,” she says. “just sit down!”

she doesn’t shout often anymore, especially in his presence. but this situation is just so infuriating and the way he keeps insisting that things would wind up being the opposite of what she wants is making it worse.

truthfully, they rarely even fight.

“there is no other way around this! come on, be fucking serious! be realistic!”

“what if i just have kids then?” she shrugs, her tears finally falling out of her eyes. “it’s just kids, not a big deal, right?”

milo clenches his jaw and slowly shakes his head. “you can’t just make a rash decision now that we’re breaking up. you’re going to hate me and yourself down the road for having a kid you never wanted.”

she chokes up, “we’re breaking up?”

he sighs, “i’m afraid so.”

she breathes shakily and drops her head slightly. “but i love you.”

it’s just not enough this time.

“i love you too, but you know we can’t carry on like this.” he approaches her and wraps his arms around her, slowly realising how their week had come to such a bitter end so unexpectedly. “it won’t ever work if we’re not on the same page.”

“that’s so fucked up.”

[danandphilplay]

im going to put my answers below bc i know some of these vids are likely not returning to dnp and i do agree with that i just wanted to do a fun poll abt if you could have another of these vids then which would you choose. ofc like ive said before we have no control over dnp uploads and i fully know some of these won’t come back lol

ok first of all i don’t think pinof is coming back and i think that’s been clear for ages anyways like ten is a nice number to leave it. HOWEVER i do think an april fools dapc pinof would be hilarious. answering crafties questions and whatever they send to craft universe dnp.

same with amazingdan BUT maybe there’s a slight chance of reacting to amazingdan. maybe not since so much time has already passed since pinof reactions (four months …..) honestly out of the options i’m not that bothered about pinof or amazingdan i feel like they’re classic dnp content that’s fine left as it is

ok for the pizza mukbang thing i don’t care for it to be a mukbang video lol like the actual thing was the nice sit down talk vibes pyjama pizza w friends maybe this is exactly what dan means abt being parasocial 😭 but that video is nice so i don’t think the actual mukbang part of it is that important it’s more the sit down talk style vid

i think i would do anything for another day in the life but i feel like it is prob peak parasocial content. would it count as phouse tour probably. do i think there will be a phouse tour no bc it sounds like it is still having a lot of work done 😭 and i honestly don’t really care abt it… i think the sims renovation was fun and an insight into their interior design opinions lol and that is enough for me

i put it takes two bc a lot of people want to see the next bit i like the game but not rly enough. idk it’s been awhile since that first vid and in terms of other games and things from dnp i don’t rly mind about it takes two being ignored 😭

i know baking is not a discontinued thing anymore bc HALLOWEEN but BUT i really believed easter baking would be a thing 💔 dapc had so much put into it that i kind of forgot about wanting a baking vid but 💔 i can’t lie i think i got set on the expectation for it. like the baking vids have always been absolute classic staple dnp content but definitely the cinnamon roll one was like the baking vids to the extreme… the full potential AND THE BAKE WAS GOOD TOO. the vid was also pretty popular. so my expectations for easter were a bit high. ok so if this poll is like magically summon a dnp vid 🪄 maybe id consider baking because i just love it so much like irl as a hobby but also then dnp doing one of my fav things too and it being so fun idk it’s some of the best dnp content imo. i would love them to try a series of making food from videogames but no offence to them i don’t get the vibe that they cook a lot…… so i think it might not happen. but dil is turning TEN in september so maybe dnp special dil birthday cake baking vid 💔 pleaese pleasemaybe

i think tumblr tag is totally plausible although ik the april fools tumblr tag thing 💔 bc the twitter vid happened i think they’ll do a tumblr one at some point. there’s so much amazing art on here not just fanart but written stuff video and photo edits so i’d want them to see all of that as well as the funny stuff. this isn’t like top of my list of things i’d want to see but it’s definitely one of the more plausible things

dapc behind the scenes content its either happening or it will never be spoken of

honestly idk if they would do reactions to the super amazing project. bc like what vids would they choose. maybe i can see them referencing it or discussing it if someone asked or in a live but idk about reaction vids.

ok draw my life would be fun and i’d watch them. i’d watch an updated dil draw my life too. they put so much effort into that dil draw my life. maybe an updated one for dil’s 10th birthday will happen? that would be pretty fun.

i think if i had to choose it would be a ditl vid. top 3 would be ditl, mukbang or literally just any sit down talk vid, and another baking video. ditl may literally just be bc of nostalgia i don’t really see it happening again but who knows. again just a poll about which vid you’d want to see if you could magic up a dnp vid i definitely know some of these aren’t coming back or very unlikely to

[theresattrpgforthat]

do you have any metafictional ttrpgs? or any ttrpgs about nothing (being about the concept of nothing or literally not having something they're "about")?

Theme: Metafictional TTRPGS / Games About Nothing.

Y’all are really pulling out the stops for these requests, huh? I’m not entirely sure if what I pulled up actually counts as metafiction, or as games about nothing, but I hope you find something close to what you’re looking for here.

Feedback, by Adira Slattery.

This is a drawing and survey taking game.

You will be expected to draw some chairs.

You will be expected to take some surveys

.Requires the use of a printer for the surveys.

And at the end you gotta email me.

So good luck...

This is a game about drawing a chair. And then taking a survey. And then drawing a chair. And taking a survey. And so on. It’s an exercise that’s meant to be both repetitive and reflective. It’s hard for me to determine what this game is about, because a) I haven’t played it and b) I suspect it’s going to mean something a little different for each person who plays it. It’s possible that for some people who look at this game, it might be about nothing.

Undeath of the Author, by quinntastic.

A meta mini-game designed for Troika.

This is a game in which the author is both dead and not dead - they are undead, and it is up to the group to kill them. The author is the author of the game, and the group is responsible for figuring out how to go about and kill them. (Of course, the author is willing to tell you, the GM how they can be killed, but they don’t want you to tell the players. You can keep a secret, right?)

Beach Episode, by Legendary Vermin.

BEACH EPISODE is a microgame mix-in for your regular table-top RPG group. Players take  their current characters, quickly adapt them for a rules-light session, and commence to run an anime-inspired, beach-themed adventure. All you need to play is at least 3d6 and an established set of characters.

This is a game that is about nothing in the sense that it isn’t really about anything. It follows the style of the anime beach episode, asking you to take recognized characters, probably from an ongoing campaign, and giving them a moment of rest, relaxation, and (probably) nothing plot-relevant. It’s great for encouraging players to delve into who their characters are without feeling worried about the consequences.

Meta Society, by Small Stories.

Meta Society is a game about playing a game of Good Society created for the April Fool's Day Good Society game jam.

This is a game about playing a game - specifically a game of Good Society. When you play, you’ll describe fictional players interacting with a fictional setting, using safety tools and talking about what they did and didn’t like about each session. This requires a copy (as well as experienced knowledge) of how to play Good Society, but I think if you have had the experience of playing Good Society, this might also be something you could adapt to make it a metafictional game about playing a different ttrpg.

DIE: The Roleplaying Game, by Rowan, Rook & Decard.

You’re dragged into a treacherous fantasy world made from your own fears, doubts and desires. There’s only one way to escape - but with limitless adventure within your grasp, would you even want to?

In DIE: The Roleplaying Game, you play a group of authentically flawed people from the real world who gather together to play a game and are trapped in a magical realm. What are they prepared to sacrifice to escape? What are they prepared to sacrifice to stay? This is a TTRPG inspired by a comic book, about people who play games, finding themselves being drawn into a game. Your characters will be interacting with a fantasy world of their own creation, knowing that it is a game and yet being drawn into it deeper than they could have ever imagined. If you want to hear this game in action, My First Dungeon has an excellent season from Mar. 31 - May 26 of 2023.

The Waiting, by J.N. Butler.

A one page GM-less roleplaying game of suspense for 1 or more players.

The Waiting is inspired by the anxiety caused by waiting for the unknown.

In The Waiting you play as a character in a setting where it hasn’t happened yet. It is definitely going to happen, but no one knows when it will happen. Until it happens, there is only The Waiting.

What are you waiting for?

This feels like a game that could be about nothing because the thing that is going to happen will not happen while you play the game. The game is specifically about the time in which the thing has not yet happened - you just know that it will. The game occurs as a series of rounds, over which players describe what their characters are doing. When the event that the table creates happens, you have one final round of play and then the game is over.

This might also be a great tool for dropping into another game, if you’re like me and you like pairing your TTRPGs like cheeses and fine wines.

[beebopurr]

here's another! Even longer! Hope you like it, from @ilk-insolence

---

“–so she just would not give up on those fucking oysters! And after I let her get the last of the lobsters too!”

“Mmm,” Leo hummed behind her.

April placed the box of old paraphernalia on the kitchen counter and began cutting it open.

“And you know what she said to me? She said, ‘only fools would relinquish shellfish to their opponent!’”

“Mmm,” Leo repeated. She heard him haul more boxes in the living room. “And yet, by the end of it, you gave up the oysters.”

“Only ‘cause her kid was cute,” April responded, “but that was weird too! Who brings their kid to a fish market in the middle of the day? Poor thing was going to get crushed!”

Leo laughed. It changed a lot from the chittering April first heard all those weeks ago.

“What?”

“It’s just, funny. You, of all people calling someone weird.”

April shoved down an old self-conscious shadow she never quite managed to outrun and focused on sorting the dusty tea set from the box. “What do you mean?”

“You literally clobber any poacher wielding guns that sneak onto the island with nothing but a bat. You laugh at actual ghosts. You try to catch fish with your bare hands. You’re the weirdest human I’ve ever met April.”

When April was younger, a comment like that came with a sense of failure. Whenever other kids avoided her at school or playgrounds it was because she was too passionate, too rambunctious, too much. Too weird. Admittedly some of those kids were wack, haughty with hindsight; but Leo wasn’t one of them. He was unabashed, self-assured, so if he said April was weird then it was simply true.

Yet, she didn’t find herself minding this time.

Maybe something about a giant mutant turtle who’s ostracized by society being the one to call her weird had something to do with it; made it into a compliment. April felt an easy warmth fill her.

She and Leo continued sorting through the old boxes with possessions the prior lighthouse keepers left behind. April was determined to use some of that stuff for decor or functionality and save herself the money. It wasn’t like the past keepers were coming back for it anyway.

“Oooh, what’s that?” Leo asked.

“Hm?” April peeled away from her box on the couch to peer into the wooden case Leo put on the carpet. “That’s a record player. You put a black disc thingy inside it to make it spin, and then you put the needle on it to play music. Man, I haven’t seen one of those things in ages.”

April looked to Leo. He was staring at the device with a fragile expression. Slowly, he lifted a hesitant hand towards it, then pulled back. Leo still hadn’t told April who taught him English.

Without taking his eyes off the record player, Leo asked, “Can we try it? Play something on it, I mean.”

April winced, “Sorry no, I didn’t find any records here”––Leo’s face fell––”but! But, we can play music from my phone!”

She quickly whipped it out from her jacket, “You want anything specific?”

Leo leaned over her shoulder like he usually did whenever the device was around. “Could it do any song?”

“Uh, nearly any, I think. You got something in mind?”

“Yeah. M–I used to listen to it pretty often. I uh, don’t know the name of it though.”

“Well, you could look up the lyrics.” April passed him her phone.

Leo paused for a moment, a pursed look on his face, then he slowly typed onto the screen. A youtube video popped up as the first hit. He looked to April, confused. She gestured, “Play it.”

The song took a second to load. Then a drawl:

Put your loving hand out, baby

Like a flower, a bright delighted smile grew on Leo’s face. He looked at April, sheer amazement. She was too, she didn’t think she would recognize the song.

Cause I’m beggin’

When the beat hit, April bobbed her head to it, Leo echoing a second after. His delighted smile didn’t take long to turn playful. He stood up, the bobbing shifting down to his whole body. April followed. Together, they extended their hand out to one another.

So put your loving hand out baby

It was stupid; their uncoordinated jigging around the boxes splayed across the living room. April laughed as Leo kept dramatically outstretching his hand whenever the penultimate lyric popped up. After the first chorus helped knock her memory into place, April began belting the parts she knew. They weren’t quite dancing together, swaying a movement that didn’t match the other, but they were having fun together so they were dancing together.

When April looked up, gasping for breath and laughter, Leo was smiling at her like she was the unicorn from the movie they watched together. She felt her chest flutter, a warmth ballooning from within that pushed out everything else.

So put your loving hand out darlin’

When it was over, the autoplay simply moved onto the next song. The boxes around them laid forgotten for some time.

---

Leo’s feet crunched on the gravel that made the entrance of his home. He never really realized how nice the sound was, crisp, firm. He chirped into the cave to announce his arrival. The walls swallowed the echoes with their lovely texture. Outside their cove, the ocean rumbled her endless beautiful song. Leo chirped again, just to hear it in the air.

A following panicked chirp responded. Leo! Leo! It was Donnie. Raph’s hurt!

His blood froze. Leo ran into the cave and nearly slammed into Donnie. What happened?!

Donnie simply ran deeper into the cave. When it widened into their largest cavity, Leo saw Raph lying under the blankets next to their campfire. He could hear him breath heavily. Leo rushed forward, instinctively chirping comfortingly. Raph rumbled back.

Leo pushed back the blankets to see his wounded leg, blood already seeping heavily against the makeshift bandages. It was on his left thigh, the red signaling to Leo that the wound was two-way; something pierced clean through the flesh.

Hunters.

No, no, no, no, not again.

Leo touched Raph’s forehead. Fever. Shit.

I’m okay. I’m okay. Raph rumbled, though the pain lacing his every breath made it extremely ignorable.

Leo trilled, Mikey?

Still outside. Donnie then turned and left for the exit. Leo went to their supplies for more bandages. When he sat back down Raph was still rumbling. I’ll be okay. I’ll be okay.

When did this happen?

Somewhere around the coastal town. They were new.

Shit.

Raph’s hand came up to his shoulder with the old scar. Went through this before. Raph’ll be fine.

It was terrifying the last time too. Leo rewrapped Raph’s leg, making sure to pressure it hard. He also put wet cloths on his forehead. The fever scared him. For a second, Leo thought about bringing up April. She could help, she probably even had better medicine.

But the others didn’t trust her. Raph didn’t trust her. Wounded like this, he’d be even more reluctant to open up.

Donnie came back with Mikey before complete sundown. Together, they hunkered in for the night.

Deadass you should put this on ao3 or sm I'll share the link

[ye-olde-sodor]

Forget any idea you had for Thomas stories, I wanna see the engines and the narrator interacting with each other for some sort of April fools themed episode. All the dialogue between them is snarky and sassy just like in season one…but it’s cranked up to 11. Or maybe even have the engines are self-aware that they’re in a tv show???

Just...imagine for a moment what that would be like.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Narrator: “This Is Thomas! He’s a cheeky little engine who has a short stumpy funnel, a short stumpy dome, and a short stumpy-“

Thomas: “WE GET IT. I’M SMALL. By my maker Is that really the only thing you can describe me as?!”

Narrator: “No, actually! I forgot to mention he has a temper of one of those small rat dogs that women keep in their purses and treat them like children! Why one could argue that he has the temper of a rooster!”

Thomas: “THATS IT-”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Percy: "Hey Thomas, I'm supposed to go to the works at 5, could you cover for my mail train?"

Narrator: "This made Thomas very cross, he told Percy that he should do his own work and-"

Thomas: "Oh of course! Is it just the regular route?"

Narrator: "Wait no, that's not what you're supposed to-"

Percy: "Yep! My driver can come with you if you'd like!"

Thomas: "If he wouldn't mind coming along with us. I'd hate to make your train late."

Narrator: "Stop that-"

Percy: "Thanks Thomas, I really appreciate it. I'll leave the train near the sheds when I have to leave."

Thomas, very smuggly: Oh it's nothing, really! Anything for my best friend!"

Narrator: "STOP!"

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Narrator: “And then there was trouble!”

Edward, rapidly descending down Gordon’s hill and becoming a runaway: “Oh of course there’s trouble! Why wouldn’t there be trouble WHEN ISNT THERE TROUBLE-“

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Percy, late at night: “Where do you think that voice in the sky goes when we all go to sleep? Does he have a home to go to?”

Edward: "Hmm...I'm not sure. Maybe he goes to a shed just like us!"

James: “Oh please, If he spends all of his free time with us, I doubt he even has a bed let alone a shed!"

Narrator: “I’m still here, you know!”

*cue ungodly screeching*

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Henry, after having yet another derailment this week: “Do we really need to have an accident every episode??? Is it really that vital to this forsaken franchise to have some large an monumental crash every day???”

Gordon, using his winch to help Henry: “No, but it would be rather dull if Thomas didn’t fling himself headfirst into a fistfight every two minutes, wouldn’t you agree dear?”

Henry: “…Fine, your right…but it wouldn’t hurt to pick on someone else every now and again would it?!

*a hearty laughter from Gordon ensues*

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Duck: "Does anyone ever think about what that voice in the sky is? Like...Is it a man? Is it an engine? A God?"

Thomas: "I...never actually thought about that."

Gordon: "I just assumed he was a result of being on this accursed island for so long. I'm surprised that we can hear him but the humans can't...it's quite concerning if you ask me!"

Percy: "Maybe he is a God! An Engine God!"

Gordon: "Oh now look what you've started!"

Edward: "Hold on now, I think he's onto something!"

Thomas: "W-what do we do with this? What can we do with this?"

Edward: "Well, we can tell it to others! Like how the priests do for churches!"

Percy: "What about those cerci-moneys? I heard that humans do those for their Gods!"

Duck: "Maybe we should name him first! It's only proper!"

Gordon: "STOP ENCOURAGING HIM!"

Narrator: *holding in his laughter*

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[harlowsbby]

Cops & Robbers

“Y/N are you sure this is going to work? You know Jack doesn’t fall for shit.” “Urban he’s been asleep all day I’m sure he’ll fall for this.” You grinned and handed Urban the face you had bought from party city earlier that morning.

Since it was April Fool’s you came up with the bright idea to prank Jack. As you were scrolling around on tiktok you came across a video of a girl pranking her boyfriend by making him think somebody was breaking into the house.

Jack had just recently gotten home, he’s been traveling and performing around the world like crazy and he was grateful he was finally home.

Sunni had the camera ready and rolling while you helped Urban get ready himself. You bought a mask from party city along with black cargo pants and a black hoodie for him to wear. “Jack is totally going to shit his pants.” Sunni cackled.

“He’s going to be pissed is what he’s going to be.” You rolled your eyes at Urban and stood back making sure he wasn’t noticeable, the last thing you wanted was for Jack to recognize Urban because it would defeat the entire purpose.

“How is everything going to play out though? Do we just start making noise.” Sunni asked. “Actually I was just going to run into the room and shake him awake and be like somebody is breaking in you need to get up.” Sunni grinned and clapped his hands in excitement. “This is about to be the biggest April fool’s prank in the world.”

While Sunni and Urban sat downstairs you went upstairs to your shared bedroom with Jack, you opened the door slowly and creeped over to his sleeping form you almost felt guilty for what you were about to do but it needed to be done.

Placing your mini camera on the dresser and at a good angle to get everything you finally pressed record and went back over to the bed.

“Jack!! you need to wake up right now, Jack get up.” Shaking him he moved around a bit but wasn’t budgeting. “Jack!! Somebody is breaking in the house.” He groaned and turned back to look at you, the red sleep marks on his face made you laugh. “What’s going on? It’s ten in the morning baby I just wanna sleep.” He groaned and laid his head back on the pillow.

“Jack get up right now somebody is breaking in the house.” He quickly swung up when you said that. “In what house? I know somebody isn’t breaking into this house.” He tumbled back a bit from the sudden movement.

“You need to go down there and get him he’s still downstairs, I’m so scared Jack.” You faked cried and held onto his arm and his eyes widened. “You want me to get him? What am I going to do. I don’t even have any weapons or anything.”

Was he being serious right now for somebody who quote on quote claims he’d do anything for the ones he loves sure wasn’t about to do anything to save you. “Jack just go I’ll be right behind you the entire time.” He huffed but grabbed the baseball bat that was under the bed.

“I thought you didn’t have a weapon.” You whispered yelled. “I can’t tell you everything baby no shush and stay close.” You grabbed onto the back of his shirt and followed him out of the room but made sure you grabbed your camera.

As if on queue you heard the kitchen cabinets slamming downstairs which meant Urban was now in the kitchen. “I can’t do it fuck what if he has a gun?” Jack whispered, “Well I’m running I don’t know about you.” He smacked his lips. “Wow you’re so helpful aren’t you.” The sarcasm dripping from his voice.

As the two of you got closer to the kitchen you could clearly see Urban’s figure from the mirror that hung from the living room by the tv. “He’s in the fridge.” Jack took a deep breath before lifting the bat up and running into the kitchen.

“Put your hands up right now!” He yelled and Urban dropped the food and raised his hands. “Now.. now back up slowly towards me.” Jack stuttered, that’s when Sunni started recording from behind the curtain in the living room. Urban turned around slowly the creepy clown mask actually scared the living daylights out of Jack.

“Take off the mask.” Urban shook his head no. “Baby he isn’t taking off the mask.” Jack cried and stomped his foot. “Jack man up there is whole burglar right in front of us.”

“If you don’t take the mask off you’ll leave me with no choice but to hit you with this bat.” Jack went to raise the baseball bat like he was going to hit Urban and that’s when he quickly took the mask off.

“Urban?!” “Look Y/N came up with this bright idea to prank you and make it seem like someone was breaking into the house, I didn’t wanna do it but Sunni and Y/N made me and I’m sorry so pease don’t hit me with the baseball bat.” He rambled.

Sunni and You rolled your eyes at him. “Thanks a lot Urban you’re so scary I swear.” Sunni came from behind the curtains with the camera pointed at Jack. “Turn that shit off.” Sunni turned the camera off and gave you a high-five.

“It was actually fun pranking you especially since you get all scared.” Sunni joked and Jack pouted. “That isn’t funny and I’m not scary I was just scared for the safety of Y/N.”

“Oh is that right? Well thank you for attempting to protect me but I seriously think you need to take self-defense classes Jack.” He thought about it for a second but agreed with you. “Yeah I think you’re right but for right now I think I deserve a little treat since you woke me up.” He wiggled his eyebrows making you grin.

“And what did you have in mind?” “I think you know what I have in mind.” You giggled and ran up the stairs with Jack hot on your tail. “I think it’s best we go I really don’t wanna hear all of that.” Sunni nodded, “I agree I’ll just take the house key and lock the door.”

Your prank didn’t really go as planned but the entire night was spent making it up to Jack.

[anxresi]

…Isn’t it a bit late for April Fools Day?! 🤡🤣

I was going to just write a few snarky remarks in the tags, but fuck it… I have a bit of time on my hands right now, so let’s tackle these somewhat disingenuous statements one at a time shall we? Starting from the one in the top left hand corner, and working our way anti-clockwise around… *Cracks knuckles*

1. Yep. SO nice in fact, she doesn’t have any other noticeable character trait. ‘Niceness’ by itself doesn’t make you an interesting, intriguing or compelling character… it just makes you boring. In fact, I’m gonna have to work pretty damn hard to finish this off before I nod off just thinking about her… 🥱

2. …And this is a GOOD thing? It just proves how much the writers were DESPERATE to make her Chloe’s replacement they rushed virtually everything to do with her, including her rapid induction to ‘Hero’. Most of the other Miraculous users had to wait AGES to get their chance, and Lil Miss Perfect just turns up in Paris and gets her chance virtually the first day. It wasn’t earned, it wasn’t believable… it was just handed to her on a silver platter because… reasons. 😩

3. So what? This is just yet more evidence that this girl, a TOTAL STRANGER up to S4 is all of a sudden being treated like the queen of all Mary Sues. Just listen to all the endless shilling about her from the rest of the cast (especially Marinette and, more depressingly Plagg) Now imagine them said in Thomas Astruc’s voice as he lays his case against Chloe… and everything should become clear.

4. This means virtually nothing. Everyone gets their Miraculous permanently at the end of S5, so the fact she gets her’s 5th is just down to a quirk in sequence. If anything, I’m surprised she didn’t get it sooner… in another gratuitous ‘Take That’ to diehard Chloe fans… 😬

5. I don’t even have anything to say about this.. it calculates the precise sum of 0.00% in terms of her worth of a character. You got anything better?

6. Oh, you mean the same acting ‘skills’ that she used to manipulate her sister into pretending she ‘loved’ her and to carry that useless charm about?The thing is, everyone might’ve SAID her talent was great in that AWFUL Queen Banana episode… but it actually wasn’t. Just because the other characters say she’s the next Sophia Loren, doesn’t mean the viewers don’t have eyes and ears. But I guess if they’re stupid enough to fall for Lila’s incredibly obvious lies when the plot demands it, anything’s possible…

7. What, you like her colorful shoes? This is possible the only one I’ll grant you (they ARE pretty snazzy) but at the end of the day, they’re just pointless aesthetics. Anyone else could be wearing them, and the garish colors can’t blind us to her all-conquering mediocrity. Moving on…

8. Here’s a hint: NEVER use the word ‘objectively’ when the opposite is clearly true. She’s not just ‘sweet’, spending time with her is akin to being pinned down in Wonka’s chocolate factory being force-fed candy by all the Oompa-Lumpas until you literally explode. Not a pleasant experience in other words, thanks to the writers laying this sole facet on with a literal trowel and shovel.

As for the ‘sass’ part… nope, not seeing it. Unless you mean the occasional scene when she ‘deals’ with her sister… these parts were obviously only put in to throw red meat for the Chloe-hating sheep out there could hoot and holler at the screen (probably waking their parents up in the process) whilst screaming “SEE? THAT’S WHAT YOU GET!!” Well, I hope you’re happy now. You hapless lame-o’s.

9. Mary Sues don’t get ‘character assassinated’. They get bigged-up, cheered, given every resource in the show to be Da Best… but NEVER wrecked in that manner. Her sister, on the other hand… 😢

I would argue though, that what she is, is WORSE than character assassination… she’s an individual that never should’ve existed in the first place. In fact, I’d barely even describe her as a character. A plot device, a waste of space, a product of Thomas Astruc’s inexplicable raging hatred against Chloe maybe, but not a serious character. As the popular meme goes, Change My Mind (you won’t).

10. …You’re REALLY scraping the bottom of the barrel now, aren’t you?

Besides, this hasn't even been confirmed yet. We don't even know anything about the elusive Mr Lee, or even what he might think about his daughter being forcibly adopted by the Mayor. Something which I'm sure a show of such grandiosity and ambition will go into at great length.. Nah, just kidding!

Next, you’ll be telling me that somehow her sexuality is another reason to think she’s the best thing since sliced bread…

11. And there we have it (sigh). How terribly predictable. 🙄

I’ve already done a whole post thingie about how her being a lesbian and having a short-lived crush on Marinette was just imposed to get unearned brownie points from underrepresented communities when they won’t actually do anything with said revelation, so I’ll keep this short. Sufficed to say though, I feel like starting a hashtag… #TheGaysDeserveBetterThanZoe. Get it trending, peeps! 😎

12. Whatever you’re smoking, can I have some of it? This is crossing the line from ‘delusional’ to ‘crazy’ now. She’s remained as static as a statue since her opening episode, has NO room for change and growth due to the fact she was only brought in to replace Chloe and in that uncomfortably dull niche she’ll stay. Sorry, but just because you wish that she’d had any kind of interesting development doesn’t mean she has. Facts have a funny habit of getting in the way of the truth.

13. In turns of ticking boxes for diversity, French-Americans aren’t exactly a high priority IMHO. But sure if you think that makes her the bees knees (pun intended), you go ahead and celebrate it. 👍

14. So in conclusion, I do agree that Zoe Lee is indeed ‘Best’ character… (hears sharp intake of breathes all round) oops, I’m sorry. What I meant was ‘Pest’ character… in that just having her buzzing about in all her flawless Mary-Sue glory makes you just wanna reach for the bug spray.

You know, like you would for a pesky wasp during a delicious picnic. Because she’s Vesperia, get it? 🤪

The only upside to this sad situation is, from what I can tell (being strictly a non-watcher these days, you figure out why) the writers half-agree with me.

After all for such an 'amazing' character who's apparently achieved so much in her short time in the show... why is she barely featured? They must know, somewhere down deep in their artistic brains, she's a narrative dead zone.

A collection of tiresome off-the-shelf quirks, traits and spare parts (someone here said she was like a bad fanfiction self-insert... ABSOLUTELY RIGHT), loosely held together with visible stitching and hastily assembled together like Frankenstein's Monster for the most cynical of reasons.

She has no arguable reason to be in the show, apart from being a far inferior replacement to the potential mine of character development that someone like Chloe could've represented.

I guess Thomas really does hate complex characters who may overshadow his precious Marinette... or school bullies who traumatized him so much as a lil kid he specifically wrote someone into his show he could subsequently and systematically destroy (as the rumors go... but it wouldn't surprise me with THAT guy).

Now I’m off to bed, but let me end on at least ONE positive note for this much-maligned individual: She’s EXACTLY the kind of character a show like Miraculous Ladybug deserves… and if you like her, you deserve her too.

Now, good night. 🌝 🛌

[mobbu-min]

☆ rawr XD ☆

(ft. vil, rook, azul, riddle)

requested by @trixiegalaxy

Can I request TWST headcanons with a female S/O doing this bear prank (from the anime, Acchi Kocchi) to Azul, Rook, Vil, and Riddle.

It's April Fools Day at NRC, and S/O gets Crowley's permission to dress up as a bear, go around the different dorms, and try to scare everyone. What would be Azul, Rook, Vil, and Riddle's reaction to this? Would they get scared or not, and would any of them join in the fun?

a/n at first I thought you meant like an actual realistic custome, but after watching that video it all clicked lol

tw: cursing, vomit, some suggestive stuff in rook's part

 “It’s more cute than anything,” Ace muttered, staring at your furry bear costume in confusion. There were plenty of things he witnessed in his short time at NRC and even more with you beside him and this wasn’t something he’d ever thought he’d see. Standing up, he flicked at the puffy tail, “How are you supposed to scare anyone with this?”

 Pouting, you placed your pawed hands on your hips, “I have my ways!”

  “Your face is on display, dummy. You’re not those damn twins,” Grim deadpanned. Flopping down on his side.

 To this, Ortho perked up from his spot at your side, “Don’t worry, Ace Trappola and Grim! I made sure to cover that feature when I was making this!”

 “Yeah! Ortho pulled out all the stops!” You grinned mischievously.

 Ace and Grim watched you click a button at your paw and the opening for your face was instantly covered with metal coverings with brown fur and a muzzle. Two glowing orbs replacing your bright eyes. The strange resemblance to your temporary dad is outstanding. 

 “RAWR!” You screeched, jumping up to try to intimidate them. 

 Tilting his head, Ace mumbled, “Yeah, it's way more cute than scary.”

 “You’d have to be blind to get scared.”

  Stomping your foot, you pointed at them and declared, “Just you watch! I’m going to be so scary, I’m going to get Animal Control called on me!”

 Running out the door, Ace winced as you collided with the door. Standing back up, you did what he could only decipher to be you flipping him off and marched out the front door. Muttering something about ‘being surrounded by fake love’ and ‘the world being your hater’.

 Shaking his head, he mumbled, “We should go after them, huh?”

 “Yup! From my calculations the percentage of Animal Control being called on them is quite low, but facing death isn’t!” Ortho chirped. 

 “Just great.”

☆☆☆

Vil Scheonheit <3

⋆ You really expect the Vil Schoenheit to scream? 

⋆ Then you must not know him at all. Jeez, he has more class than that. 

⋆ Literally gives you the blandest reactions. He just raises his slim brow and gives you a look that radiates ‘Really?’

 “Who made this?” Vil scrutinized, picking up your arm to touch the soft fur. 

⋆ Though, he will applaud you for trying. It takes a ton of guts to walk around in that. 

 “Ortho!” You chirped, your voice muffled from the bear mask. Spinning around, you posed cutely, stars and hearts practically coming off of your pose, “Cute, right?”

 “Hardly,” Vil tsked under his breath. Though anyone with a brain could see the way his pale cheeks lit up. Of course, you just had to be so cute and that damn bear costume didn’t help at all.

  “I’m I scary at least?” 

 Taking your paw, he moved you to sit down at his vanity, “If I were anyone else, and a child under the age of one, then perhaps. Remove your mask please.”

 “Aw man,” you sniffed sadly while doing as he said. “I thought I was totally going to scare some pants off!”

 “Well, with the way the suit is making your skin break out, you could certainly scare someone’s pants off,” He teased, gently scrubbing about the dirt and sweat that was accumulating on your skin from the mask. The softness of the rag combined with the calming scent of the cleanser made you sleepy. 

 Yawning, you leaned back into Vil’s plush chair, “Y’know I think I’m done scaring today…that was too much fun…-snoooorrreee-”

  Vil huffed in amusement at how fast you fell asleep. Applying a thin layer of moisturizer, he gently moved you to his bed and patted your head, “Perhaps, I’ll buy you a pair of bear pajamas? It certainly suits you. Don’t you four think so?”

 On cue, three figures fell out of Vil’s closet. Turning around, Vil watched the three of the four complain and curse at each other. While the young robot laughed at his friend's misery. Floating up to Vil, Ortho exclaimed, “Wow, Vil Schoenhiet! You added another possibility to the Prefect’s possible endings!”

 “And that would be?”

 “Animal Control or death!”

 “Oh…” Glancing at Ace and Grim, he asked, “I assume that’s why you both came? To watch over them?”

 “Yeah…” Ace mumbled, rubbing the growing bump on his head. Already at your side, Grim curled up into your arm and yawned, “My henchman has no survival instincts, that why Grim the Great is here to…take..care of them…-snooooorrre-”

 Pursing his lips, he turned to Epel, “But that doesn’t explain why you were hiding in my closet, little apple. And with one of Rook’s arrows, no less.”

 Placing the arrow behind him, Epel stuck his head up and mumbled awkwardly, “I saw a bear running around and my meemaw always said bear meat tasted amazing, sooo….”

 “You were going to stab ‘em!?” Ace screeched, taking big steps back from Epel. 

 “No!....well, yeah…” Epel trailed off, kicking at the carpet and pouting.

 “Wow! Epel Felmier, you could have been one of the leading causes of death for the Prefect!” Despite the grim meaning behind it, Ortho said it like he was announcing the next Emmy.

 Pinching the bridge of his nose, Vil sighed, “I can’t believe this…”

Rook Hunt <3

⋆ Oh, you think you’re doing the hunting? How funny! How cute! Babe, you’re gonna die.

⋆ Rook knows it’s you in the bear costume. His sweet trickster doing their trickster things. How beautiful! But damn, does that want to make Rook go hunting.

⋆ Of course he’s doing it lovingly, with no intentions to actually harm you, but he wouldn’t mind hearing your fearful screams as you run away from him. 

⋆ Won’t you be a dear and play a little game with him?

 “Omg, Leona! I’m so happy to see you!” you wailed, jumping onto the, surprisingly awake, lion. Clinging onto him, you let your snot get all over his chest. “Protect me!”

(me personally would shit myself and die if I saw Rook giving me the look he gives in his groovified bean day card, or alternatively, get on my knees for him)

 Staring at you in disgust, Leona pushed you away, “Get off of me, Herbivore.”

 But you persisted and jumped back on him. Shoving your face into his welcoming chest, well as welcoming as it can get with Leona glaring daggers into your bear suit self. “Please, please, please! Leona! Help me! I’m getting hunted for sport!”

 “Aren't you supposed to be doing the hunting, ya big ass bear?” Leona asked, moving around so he could get a better hold of you. 

 “Apparently not! I thought you had to have a permit to be able to hunt endangered animals!” You exclaimed. 

 “Endangered?”

 “Yeah, me soon!”

 Rolling his eyes, Leona asked, “Who’s even hunting you?”

 Before you could respond a flamboyant laugh cut through the air. Ominous and oh so frightening. Even Leona tensed up. His tail stopping mid sway and ears picking up. 

 Ridgedly, you and leona turned to meet the oddly jovial eyes of your hunter, Rook Hunt. His bow tight in his grasp. Lips split into an unfairly pretty, yet scary, smile. 

 “It seems like Roi du Leon has found my sweet Ourse~ Now would you be so kind as to hand them over?” He asked, the edge in his tone betraying any form of pleasantry.

 Turning down to look at you, all you could do is wordless shaking your head and cling tighter onto you one and only hope. Green eyes twitching, Leona sighed. But before you could get your hopes up, you were suddenly hoisted into the air and flung with full force at your hunter. 

 “LEEONNAA! YOU AAAASSS!”

 Scratching his head, Leona turned around and saunted off, “yeah, not my problem. Have fun, I guess.”

 Fully expecting to hit the ground, you were surprised to feel a strong pair of arms capture you and hold your bridal style. Staring up at Rook with wide eyes, you smiled nervously, “Rawr?”

  “Shall we head to my room, my little Ourse? There’s plenty I must teach in the name of the hunt!” He joyfully hummed, tightening his hold the moment you began to squirm. Gleefully skipping all the way to your demise. 

 Oh lord, have mercy on me!

Azul Ashengrotto <3

⋆ This guy has never seen a bear before. So the moment he sees you barreling towards him with the speed of Floyd, man's about to shit himself out of fear. 

⋆ It doesn’t matter who’s next to him or if he’s with a potential client, he’s bolting the other way. He swears he can hear the gate of the afterlife opening up for him. He’s never been this scared, no amount of the leech twins could get him to want to cry to mom this badly. And omg, his lungs are literally about to burst because of all this running. He just wants his octopot so badly! Tears are streaming down his face!

⋆ After you come clean to him, he’s shaking you by your shoulders practically screaming at you about ‘how could you do this to me!’.

⋆ He rethinks everything he knows about you. Consider you to be as bad as the Leech twins. Maybe even worse. 

 “Azul! I’m sooo sorry!” You wailed. Tears streamed down your face and into the pool that contained your doom. 

⋆ He’s never living this down, so why not make a deal with him? It’s the least you can do, right?

 “Hm? What was that, dear Prefect?” Azul said, pulling the lever that lowered you down. Watching the way you squirmed in your tight binding. “I’m sure they’re dying to play with their new playmate.”

 “Azul! This is practically murder! I’m too cute for this!” You sobbed. You gasped when you saw Ace with Grim and Ortho, “Ace! My Savior! Help me!”

 “I suggest you don’t, Trappola. Lest we forget the incident you, oh so desperately, want to keep away from your housewarden.” Azul threatened. Glaring daggers at the boy. 

 Paling, Ace stared apologetically at you, “Sorry, but Imma have to sit this one out.”

 “ACCCCEEEE!” You wailed louder. The rope holding you swaying faster with your frantic squirming. Green quickly becoming a permanent color to your skin. 

 “Have fun, my dear Prefect~”

  “Azul, I swear to—blegh!” 

 In an instant, two long beings jumped out of the pool and landed with a ‘thrawk!’ on the tile floors. Grim and Ace lost their shit on the side and Azul broke his cane in the process. Ortho, sweet angel, was the only one to get your passed out ass out of that tight binding. 

 “I think they’re dead…” Ortho murmured, running a full body scan on our limp figure. 

 “They better be! Shrimpy, that was so not cool!” Floyd pouted, staring at your puke floating down to the bottom of the water with a grimace, “Nasty shrimpy.”

 “Yes, how gross,” Jade muttered. 

  “Blegh!”

 “Get them out of here, so help me, before I throw them and their bear costumes into the sea!”

Riddle Rosehearts <3

⋆ He doesn’t scream as much as he jumps. Jumps so high, you swear he could have touched the moon. Who knew such a small body could launch themself that high. 

⋆ Riddle is not having it. First you burst into an Unbirthday Party, but you made him break a Queen of Heart’s rule? Nu-uh, he’s having your head for that.

⋆ Honestly, you should count yourself lucky because you're not a part of his dorm. If you were, you’d have hell to face. 

⋆ Though once everything is said and done, Riddle might find himself having a little chuckle at your shenanigans and how adorably funny you looked. 

 “Riddle, I said I’m sorry! Now can you please take this collar off me! It’s itchy and heavy!” You complained. Pulling at the thick collar in hopes that it would snap in half. Unfortunately you weren’t Leona or Malleus, so your attempts were utterly futile. 

 “Until, you can memorize all 100 of the Queen of Heart’s rules, then I’ll uncollar you,” Riddle hummed, sipping from his tea. 

 “Dude, I’m not even from your dorm! Why does it matter?” 

 Staring at you like you were a misbehaving child, Riddle tsked, “You’re always here, Prefect. Might as well make you an official member, no? Afterall, this is much easier than what the others have to memorize.”

 Flopping on your back, you wailed childishly, “Nooo! I don’t wanna! The collar is uncomfy and I have a wedgie from this dang suit!”

 “Wow, they’re really not having it huh?” Cater mused, taking a photo of you in your lowest moment. The sight of a bear rolling around on their rose detailed carpet complaining about their wedgie certainly wasn’t something he'd think he’d ever see. 

 Humming, Riddle smiled at you, “They’ll get over it.”

⋆⋆⋆

  Outside, hidden into the heart shaped rose bushes, laid our super spies, Ace, Grim and Ortho. A thick pair of Hatsume Miku themed binoculars in Ace’s grasp. Shaking his head, he sighed on your behalf, “I don’t know why out of everyone, they chose to go for Riddle. Bad planning on their part.”

 “So much for them having the braincell,” Grim huffed while fixing his sunglasses. It’s such a nice day, so why wouldn’t he sunbathe?

 Clad in spy merch, Ortho beamed, “The chances of death and Animal Control just went into the negatives thanks to Riddle Roseheart’s intervention!”

 Rolling his eyes, Ace placed the binocular at his eyes again, “That’s just perfect…”

[henrystars]

We Are Family

April 29th.

That’s the day Steve’s world as he knows it comes crashing down. Sort of, at least.

Ironically, they’ve just finished having sex when it happens. Sweat slick skin pressed together from calf to shoulder, legs tangled up beneath the old Garfield comforter that Eddie refuses to be shamed for still owning.

“I can’t believe you fuck me with the same dick that’s been inside my sister,” Eddie says with the sort of nonchalance that Steve expects for a casual conversation about work or how Wayne is doing or what they’re having for dinner or like, literally anything else.

Certainly not this, that’s for sure.

“Pardon?” he asks calmly, trying as hard as he can to keep the wobble out of his voice. And mostly succeeding too, despite the way his chest is suddenly beating so violently against his rib cage he’s convinced there’s no feasible way Eddie can’t hear it too. “You’re an only child from Montana. I know I have…” He pauses, mulls it over in his mind for a second while he chooses his words. “History,” he settles on.

Eddie always gets weirdly touchy when Steve speaks about his dating history derogatorily. Steve isn’t entirely sure why.

It’s kind of cute, though, so it’s not as if he minds.

Eddie hums, seemingly content with his choice before he snuffles a little as he turns in Steve’s arms, pressing his face into his armpit in a way that should probably be gross but somehow isn’t. He blinks up at him, waiting for Steve to carry on.

“I know I have history but I’m not that bad,” he huffs. “I know I’ve put my dick around a fair bit but it certainly doesn’t reach all the way to Montana.”

“Could’ve fooled me,” Eddie mumbles under his breath, earning him a kick to the ankle from Steve. “Also you do know I moved here when I was like, six right?”

Steve quiets him with a quick wave of the hand that’s been wrapped around Eddie’s shoulder, using it to tuck a few stray curls back behind his ear before he returns it to where it had been, stroking soft lines against his skin.

“Of course I know that,” he scoffs, slightly offended that Eddie might think he doesn’t. “I’m not entirely sure why that’s relevant, though.”

“How is it not relevant?” Eddie asks, brows furrowed.

“It’s - I mean - you know what, shut the fuck up. You’re distracting me from the point in hand here,” Steve huffs, rolling his eyes when he notices Eddie’s own crinkling at the corners. “You’re such a dick,” he chides.

Eddie stifles a chuckle against Steve's skin, hot breath tickling him softly as he mumbles an insincere sorry against his chest.

They’re quiet for a moment before Steve speaks again.

“So….” he drawls, fingers tracing nonsense patterns against Eddie’s shoulder. “Are you actually gonna tell me what the fuck you’re talking about or…”

“Oh,” Eddie perks up, pops his head up from where it’s been wedged against Steve’s armpit. “Nancy, obviously. Who else would it be?”

“What?” Steve splutters, pushing himself upright against the mattress to stare down at Eddie. “Oh my God…”

Eddie shrugs, reaches for the comforter to pull it back up over his newly exposed bare chest. He looks utterly ridiculous, Steve thinks, as he often does when he lies there freshly fucked and rosy cheeked beneath the fluffy blanket he’s had since middle school.

It’s a good job Steve loves him.

This stupid, ridiculous boy who, as it turns out, could’ve been his brother in law in another life.

Steve shudders at the thought.

“I don’t - it’s not like - you don’t see the resemblance?” he asks, shucking a hand free to push at his curls as if it’s obvious.

“Okay well first of all, Nancy has a perm.”

“She does not.”

“Does too.”

“Uh-huh,” Eddie shakes his head against the pillow. “Them are some real genuine Munson family curls, baby.”

He looks so proud that Steve almost doesn't want to burst his bubble.

Almost.

He rolls his eyes. “Hate to break it to you, baby, but Nance and I were together long enough for me to know that she definitely has a perm,” he says with a shrug. “Nothing natural about those curls I’m afraid.”

Eddie gapes at him, mouth opening and closing a few times as if he can’t quite decide where to go from here.

Eventually he sighs, tucking a hand up under his cheek as he says, “Guess you learn something new every day.”

Yeah, Steve thinks with a tut that goes unnoticed, you really do.

“I can’t believe she lied to me,” Eddie mutters dejectedly, burrowing himself further beneath the stupid blanket. Garfield’s eyes are exactly level with where Eddie’s nipples should be and the sight of it is making Steve want to scream.

Steve pats his head the way he would a sad dog; enough for Eddie to know he’s still there but gentle enough that he hopes he won’t get bitten for it.

“Wait,” he says suddenly, head cocking in Eddie’s direction. “Nancy knows about this?”

“About…about being…my sister?”

Steve nods tentatively, watching as Eddie rolls his eyes.

“How the fuck d’ya think I found out?” he asks as if it’s obvious. As if any of this had even been within the realms of possibility for Steve before this very moment.

“From Nancy? Nancy Wheeler? The same Nancy we both know?”

He rolls his eyes again.

“No, Steve. An entirely different Nancy. Yes the same Nancy we both fucking know. Why would I be telling you this if it wasn’t?”

“I dunno,” he mutters quietly. Tacks on an even quieter, “Why are you telling me at all?”

Eddie sits up, mirroring Steve’s position on his own side of the bed as the blanket pools around his soft hips. The outline of the new tattoo that sits atop his thigh peeks out from underneath it, the thick black ink dark against his pale skin.

“This isn’t - this doesn’t…” he trails off.

“No, no,” Steve interrupts with a shake of his head, mostly believing himself. “It’s-”

“Yeah.”

“Yeah.”

It’s quiet then, nothing but their breathing and the distant hum of the refrigerator in the next room filling the space around them.

Steve tries not to let his mind wander, to think the worst. Of course he doesn’t want this to change things between them, why would he. But how can it not. How can they-

“Do you-”

“How do-”

Eddie chuckles, scrubbing a hand over his face as he mutters a muffled sorry and motions for Steve to continue.

“I don’t - I’m confused,” he says. He mulls it over in his mind, brows furrowing in confusion. “How does that even work?”

“Well,” Eddie starts, taking Steve’s hands between his own equally clammy ones. “When a mommy and a daddy love each other very much-”

Steve cuts him off with an eye roll, pushing his hands away.

“Wait, wait, wait,” Eddie rushes out, grabbing for his fingers again, only continuing when they’re back between his own. “I’m sorry,” he giggles.

Steve shakes his head, powerless to damp down the smile that tugs at the corner of his lips no matter how hard he tries.

“Continue.”

Eddie nods.

“Okay, so,” he takes a deep breath. “Sometime in the summer of sixty six Uncle Wayne had to make a trip down here for some reason and he was young and dumb and-”

“Hang on-” Steve interrupts, watching as Eddie blinks up at him, light from the lamp over in the corner glinting in his big brown eyes. “This is about Wayne?”

Eddie makes a face as if to say duh, who the fuck else would it be about. As if Steve is the idiot here.

“You - you do know Wayne isn’t actually your dad, right?”

Eddie pouts.

“He is the clos-”

“-est thing to a father you’ve ever had,” Steve joins in, smirking as Eddie rolls his eyes. “Yeah, no. I know. But you didn’t fucking come from his jizz, did you?”

Eddie pulls a face.

“Please don’t talk about my uncle like that.”

“I’m just saying-”

“Okay but don’t?”

“Fine.”

“Thank you.”

Steve huffs.

Eddie smiles and leans over to press a kiss to the corner of his mouth. “You were saying?”

“Oh, yeah. It’s not like you came from…” he trails off, gestures the hand that’s not holding Eddie’s in the direction of his balls. “He’s not your actual dad, yano?”

“Of course I know that,” Eddie tuts.

Steve raises his eyebrows at him expectantly.

“What?” he asks.

“So…”

Eddie stares at him, confused. “So…?”

Steve rolls his eyes. “So, she’s not your sister at all then, is she?”

“No but like - I mean,” he pauses, presses his lips together tightly. “In a round about way-”

“Uh-huh,” Steve interrupts with a shake of his head. “Actually literally not even at all.”

“Close enough.”

“Not really.”

Eddie rolls his eyes. “Fine,” he mutters. “But she’s still more my sister than yours.”

“Thank God,” Steve laughs. “Given that I’m the one who’s had their dick inside her.”

He watches as Eddie bites his lip.

“Wait. You haven’t-”

“Oh, no. Absolutely not.”

“Okay, good. Good.”

“Great, actually.”

Steve grins, using the hand still clasped around Eddie’s to tug him back against his side, chuckling as he falls into him with an oof.

He settles himself back against the headboard, content to have Eddie wrapped around him once again, more than happy to forget this conversation ever even happened.

“You’re not allowed to tell anyone about this, by the way,” Eddie pipes up a few moments later. “Ted doesn’t exactly know and it’s not-”

Steve cuts him off with a kiss to the forehead.

“Don’t worry,” he assures him, tugging him closer against his side. “I’m not exactly in a rush to talk about any of this ever again.”

also on ao3.

[chocoberry-dream]

Hello again kaisooists 🐧🐻 Little ole me has stumbled across something interesting 👀

Remember back on April 1st in 2016 when the news broke that ji and krys were dating and chahn yall posted this really odd and cryptic “headline” on his Instagram?

This randomly popped into my head the other day now that I’ve been missing kadi and thinking about them lately.

I remember at the time it was posted, everyone in the kaisoo tag was trying to decipher what he meant, if it was supposed to be an April fools joke or if it had anything to do with the dating news. If I remember correctly he’d posted it either right before or shortly after the news broke and was confirmed by Es Em.

So I decided to go over to chahn yall’s insta again to see what the comments on the post were bc it’s been so long and I was curious if anyone wrote any kaisoo related under it. But when I went to look for it, I noticed that it had either been archived or deleted.

I screen recorded for proof, the right side is hidden for privacy due to some ppl’s insta screen names being visible since I follow him. The dates of the post are magnified on the left side:

I can definitively say that it had been left up on his Instagram for months after kxk and I believe even up til they “broke up” but I’m not sure when or why it was removed.

Something that was also peculiar to me is that besides that screenshot from the tumblr above, it was INCREDIBLY difficult for me to find this post anywhere on the internet. Even chahn yall bias pages that repost his Instagram posts did not have this post anywhere to be found.

I searched for 20 minutes and was only able to find this screenshot here on tumblr and on a random Russian page:

There’s two things I want to mention here.

First I will explain the picture a bit more for those of you who may not know.

The mosaic picture in chahn y’all’s post is of KS in his role as Kang Woo for the drama “It’s Okay That’s Love”. In this drama, the main character Jae Yeol (played by Jo Insung) suffers from undiagnosed schizophrenia and befriends Kang Woo. But as his illness worsens it’s revealed that Kang Woo is not real and is a hallucination, representing Jae Yeol’s younger self. When Jae Yeol begins treatment, Kang Woo doesn’t appear to Jae Yeol anymore .

I don’t speak Korean but I think the correct translation of the headline title in the post would be “Actually, I’m hallucinating” indicating that he’s the one hallucinating and not Jae Yeol. Since his role in the drama was him as a hallucination it wouldn’t make sense to admit to being a hallucination.

At the time I initially thought “okay, maybe it’s some sort of lighthearted April fools joke and a playful jab and ks”. But as I thought about it, the joke didn’t really make much sense bc we already know after watching the drama that ks isn’t the one who was hallucinating.

Then after reading theories and thinking about it more, I thought it was weird to post that on the same day the kxk news came out. Which leads me to my second point: I do think it has something to do with kxk and here’s why.

As we all know egg sew had a concert that day, secret night. When the pictures came out ji looked like he’d been up crying all day and ks appeared to have tears in his eyes. They also were super awkward with each other and it seemed like ji looked apologetic about something and ks wouldn’t look at him. This was after a long period of not really interacting or showing skinship and of course all those pann and dispatch gay couple blind items disappearing.

So it made me think more about the insta post, how he said that actor D admits “actually, I’m hallucinating.” We all know that ks and chahn yall have a close friendship, and it seemed like the kxk scandal caught both ks and ji off guard, almost like they both found out this media play was happening on the same day, hours before the news went out. Was this post supposed to be a hint at ks’s feelings about the news breaking? Did kxk come as a surprise to him and make him feel like the entire relationship between him and ji was actually what wasn’t real to everyone else now, aka a hallucination?

It might be a reach, but I can’t think of any other reason behind why chahn yall would delete/archive that specific post but not any of the other ones. Unless you’re a kaisoo supporter the joke would seem to have no relation to the kxk scandal, so it’s really suspicious that it disappeared.

I also can’t say for sure, but I also wonder if SM has something to do with it being gone and almost no trace of it online or on fan archives. I noticed that after the kxk “break up” kaisoo went back to their own ways, but little by little different kadi blogs were deactivating and some fansites were disappearing abruptly. I’m talking hardcore kaisoo blogs and fansites that I would have never imagined would disappear (cuddlekaisoo, alvabear, kaiser-dolly, 8812 just for example, some of their posts are even hard to find here on tumblr). To this day I still am seeing things like “so-and-so-deactivated09122018” here on tumblr throughout the tag thinking to myself like “omg, this person was a super big kaisoo supporter and they deactivated? I would have never imagined..” 😶

Of course things happen, ppl move onto other things and maybe the second scandal with jinnie has something to do with it too, but it’s all just very odd to me. I’d love to know other ppl’s opinions about this too if you’re interested!🩷

[cupids-chamber]

— 𝐈𝐌𝐏𝐎𝐑𝐓𝐀𝐍𝐓 ; 𝐏𝐋𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐄 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃

I actually wanted to say this yesterday, but it was April fools day so nobody would quite take me seriously when I say, I’m leaving this fandom. It was a nice time here, really. I just find the fandoms sudden surge of popularity and recent behavior pretty toxic. If someone gets bent on the hell hole that is cancellation, the fandom will spread even more excessive lies in order to run this person into a corner, and sully their reputation. 

That and I’ve seen a lot of people go through shit and get hate for doing anything out of the box, it’s so weird to me and it’s really helped ruin and demolish my interest within this fandom, something I did months ago that was okay, everyone played along yet when I did it recently I got hate for it. I also don’t like how newer writers are treated within this fandom; back when I started writing a year ago, it was still significantly easier to ‘make it’ then now, now it may take 2-3 months for someone to reach a certain milestone and as a certain friend of mine said the bigger writers keep getting bigger while no one else gets much support anymore, since people think that by doing this their favorite writer will not burn out. 

Well that may be true, by not supporting your smaller writers, they will burn out and that’ll leave the fandom sort of dead, check the MHA tags, only some fics do well and most of it’s nsfw; and that’s not to underappreciate nsfw writers, but nsfw fics almost always do well (if it’s written well), more of the sfw works don’t get 100 notes let alone more. (Things could’ve changed by now but the last time I checked, it seemed dead). 

And to end this little rant and leave notice off; I just want to say, happy late April fools day; but I’m actually serious about the things I’ve addressed here, the toxicity within this fandom and a lot of other things that were and is going on. I’m not leaving by any means but I felt the need to address it, and I hope you fell for my prank lmfao. 

Edit, to clarify I'm not leaving I felt like I should address things and as well as play a prank on some of you. If I said any of this yesterday I wouldn't have been taken as seriously as now.

[neorph]

* 𝐖𝐎𝐍𝐆 𝐊𝐀𝐑-𝐖𝐀𝐈 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐓𝐒  :   a selection of roleplay ask prompts adapted and modified from various cinematic works by wong kar-wai .  any of these prompts may be modified accordingly to fit your muses.

❝  i have some things to take care of.  ❞ ❝  turns out lonely people are all the same.  ❞ ❝  i’m not sad.  ❞ ❝  i forget everything when i’m scared.  ❞ ❝  we all need a partner.  ❞ ❝  i’ve gotten used to life without a partner.  ❞ ❝  i know how to make myself happy.  ❞ ❝  stop daydreaming, will you?  ❞ ❝  i get bored staying in one place for too long.  ❞ ❝  like you said, i like to wander around.  ❞ ❝  why did you call me?  ❞ ❝  i had nothing to do. i wanted to hear your voice.  ❞ ❝  if memories ever come in a can, i hope that can never expires.  ❞ ❝  i just want to enjoy life.  ❞ ❝  maybe i’m too picky.  ❞ ❝  we all get our hearts broken sometimes.  ❞ ❝  i didn’t expect it to hurt so much.  ❞ ❝  most people fall in love for the first time as teenagers. i’m a late bloomer, i guess.  ❞ ❝  there’s something different about you. or maybe it’s me that’s changed.  ❞ ❝  i’ve not been so close to a person in a long time.  ❞ ❝  i can feel that you’re lonely.  ❞ ❝  i feel like there should be two of us standing here.  ❞ ❝  let me cry on your shoulder.  ❞ ❝  lets be unhappy together.  ❞ ❝  you notice things when you pay attention.  ❞ ❝  they say love can change a man.  ❞ ❝  are you alone?  ❞ ❝  it would be so great if it could rain forever.  ❞ ❝  i have only one person in my thoughts.  ❞ ❝  has anyone ever died from too much ice cream?  ❞ ❝  you’re happy? that’s great.  ❞ ❝  i didn’t think you’d fall in love with me.  ❞ ❝  love is all a matter of timing.  ❞ ❝  the past is something you can see but not touch.  ❞ ❝  we broke up on april fool’s day, so i took it as a joke.  ❞ ❝  actually, really knowing someone doesn’t mean anything. people change.  ❞ ❝  i couldn’t put it into words, but they seemed to understand anyway.  ❞ ❝  feelings can creep up just like that.  ❞ ❝  these feelings need time to grow.  ❞ ❝  find out too much about a person and you lose interest.  ❞ ❝  broken hearts usually can’t sleep at night.  ❞ ❝  i long to be loved.  ❞ ❝  my heart will carry me back to you.  ❞ ❝  we love what we can’t have.  ❞ ❝  everything comes with an expiry date.  ❞ ❝  it was then that i finally fell in love for the first time.  ❞ ❝  but at that moment, i felt such warmth.  ❞ ❝  the road isn’t that long.  ❞

[zenmom]

What should I do for April fools?

I honestly feel like April fools fell off for me or that I Fell off the ranks of being my imagination worlds’ greatest prankster.

I loved April fools as a little kid, but because of school stuff never letting me fulfil my April Fools Destiny, and combine 2020 and depression together, it’s no wonder I no longer view April fools as a special day. Why would a day like that exist if nobody can do anything fun or special on that day?!

Like, Last April fools, I am lucky to have pranked Mickey and his friends in the Backup Detectives by going into their houses and shoving all their underwear in their fridge to find tomorrow. Sunny and Teri are lucky to not be the victim of that prank as they’re not included in the mashup at the time (yes, I guess we did have separate versions of our story of working with the backups until Angelle invited Sunny alongside her. I still feel a bit bitter about the fact I did not think we could actually interact with each other than just me and the main 4 in that AU. Think like, you and your friend or sibling are playing the same seed of a Minecraft world but never together, that sort of thing)

So, I’m not sure what pranks I can pull this year. It feels like my imagination capability has reduced a little or that people have created so much that it’s hard to come up with something completely original.