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poppyseedqueenz · 8 months ago

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(Hopefully Final)Update On the owonekko situation:

Okay so just today the situation has reached its peak so a few hours ago Nondi has worsened this whole mess by making a follow-up response to not only Jouusta but to her critics AND her fans as a WHOLE and let's just say it's probably WORSE than her first response

How did she Respond? Did she apologize? Is she taking a break? Did she realize her mistake?

Well.....

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Okay I'm not gonna hold back

Nondi This is the Most NASTIEST, IMMATURE, RUDEST, DISRESPECTFUL Thing that I have Ever Seen! Where do I even start?? Lets start with the fact that whole Animatic low-key ridiculous not only is the whole thing lowkey disrespectful to EVERYONE involved with the portrayal of Jo, Her Critics, HER FANS. But this video is anything BUT respectful! She went silent for almost 5 to 10 days after her Livestream only to make an EVEN worse response not only that but the fact That now she's trying to turn the whole thing into a race issue when race was NEVER even mentioned by Jo or anyone EXCEPT Nondi! Nondi was the ONLY one who said anything about her skintone but now I'm starting to realize something

At this point this isn't even about the AI anymore Nondi is just being a straight-up bully and slandering Everyone involved specifically Jo painting her in a TERRIBLE TERRIBLE Light(whilst now Nondi fans are also now sending Jo hate comments and a few were DEATH THREATS)

Not only that but in the description to her animatic not only is she "Not sorry" she made a lengthy doc(and yes I read every single word) where she fails to take accountability and passes blame onto the critics and Jo and making excuses for her behavior and adding extra things that are half-true, not relevant to the situation, gaslighting fans, and downright lies of which she claims is the "truth"

Nondi's Doc:

Let me remind that after Jo's video went up she made a Pinned Comment and made a few edits to it when Nondi's livestream went up This is What she Said:

Jo's Pinned Comment: "EDIT (9/12/24): Thank you to all who have let me know about Nondi’s most recent livestream and livestream thumbnail. I have not watched the full VOD, but I have seen the thumbnail and… obviously, I am not okay with it. Not in the slightest. That being said, it’s very clear to me that she’s having a mental health episode of some sort. I’m hoping after that livestream she’ll take some time off the internet and not entertain this controversy anymore. I’m disappointed with her actions, with her portrayal of me, and with how she’s handled everything, but at the end of the day I want her to be mentally well, and I feel bad that I contributed anything to the deterioration of her mental state. I still stand by everything I said in this video. I still think she’s wrong for misgendering the larger creator (and continuing to justify it). But I think this will be the last thing I’ll say regarding this video and OwONekko. If anything else happens, I’m not gonna address it (unless I feel like I REALLY need to). Again, don’t go and harass Nondi. Don’t be nasty to anyone. Take care of your mental health too. . . . . . . . . A few more notes here! I changed the title of this video from “How to Lose an Audience’s Trust - OwONekko’s AI Art Stance and How it Harms Artists” to “OwONekko’s Generative AI Stance and How it Harms Artists” because I felt like that was a more concise and less offensive way to market the video. I also want to say I do NOT think Nondi is a bad person for using and liking AI for the reasons she does, I just disagree with her reasons, and I should have been more clear about that. She’s entitled to her opinion about AI as much as I am entitled to mine. I may go here or on my insta to say a few more things regarding this situation if anything else happens, but I’m not going to make any more video content because I don’t want to egg on the people that have been relentlessly harassing Nondi because of my video. Genuinely, I feel awful about that. If you have anything to say about this discourse, keep it on MY video and off of her twitter/ Youtube page. She’s seen all the arguments, criticism, and nasty shit that’s out there. I may have criticized her for blocking certain users in my video, but at this point I think that course of action is 100% justified. If I had known this video was going to be shown to over 200,000 people in less than 48 hours, I would have been a lot more clear and less reactive with how I expressed things in this video. I’ve never had a video perform like this one did.. like, genuinely, I thought this would be watched by the people already in this discourse and MAYBE just a few others. It was not my intention to bring so many new eyes to her channel, especially in this light, but that’s what happened. As for the transphobia claims, she says it was an accident and will not repeat this mistake going forward. She hasn’t apologized for misgendering the creator, which I absolutely disagree with, but she’s made it clear she doesn’t stand by what she originally did. (that being said, I am not trans or queer, so whether or not you want to support her for this going forward is completely up to you. Just don’t go and be a bother to her.)(edit: she has continued to justify her misgendering the larger creator so idek anymore) I’ll edit this comment if I have anything else to add, but for now that’s all I have to say."

I am 100% on Jo's side of the drama

Jo said that nondi was entitled to her opinion and was not calling her bad in ANY WAY Jo was rightfully upset about how nondi portrayed her in the Livestream(she hasn't seen the Animatic yet) and for some reason nondi and her die-hards decided to attack her when Jo just made a harmless statement and even said not to harass anyone at the VERY beginning of her video plus she Cannot be blamed for who saw the video she is not in control of what the algorithm shows us as she said that her intended target for the video were people who WERE actually aware of the situation WITH the exception of a FEW new eyes NOT 200,000(now 400,000) new eyes and she did apologize for that and I do agree if people did not watch Nondi's ai stance video and then Jo's video(even though jo DID say to watch Nondi's video first to get the full context)

(Note: I watched Nondi's full ai stance video before Jo uploaded hers) and just saw Jo's video(depending on how much you watched of Jo's video) and just relentlessly attacked nondi are also in just as much of the wrong telling her to "Kys" is not helpful and making her more stubborn and while I don't agree with her deleting comments that DO know the full story those critiquing her with no context are 100% justified beacuse context is EVERYTHING however Nondi's reactions and responses are NOT justified whatsoever she is a GROWN ASS WOMAN who knew DAMN WELL what's she's doing especially when she went live with that slander video, Twitter posts and even TODAY'S video and the fact that people are still defending what she's done are also the problem she is not the victim she is the perpetrator and when other people did what she's done now they were called crazy, were ridiculed or nearly lost or DID their careers entirely)

The last time a rapper(Doja Cat) made a post disrespecting her fans the same way nondi did she lost almost 200,000 followers

When this rapper(Nicki Minaj) went on a whole Twitter rampage and a crazy rant on IG live beacuse of Hiss (by Meg Thee Stallion)(in this case Nondi went on A coke rant on YT live)she was called a fucking cokehead

When this youtuber(Colleen Ballinger) made a video pinning blame on the internet for banding together, calling her out on her predatory behavior and made a ukulele musical as a response(in Nondi's a fucking snl skit) her response was seen as the worst youtuber apology/statement videos to date

(Note: this is not an attack on Nicki, Doja nor Meg as I love and respect all 3 of these artists however I can't say the same thing for Colleen as she is a terrible human being)

And while people are saying "omg the art community is so sensitive" and you know what? You're right the art community can get sensitive over everything and anything but that that's not the case people are rightfully upset at nondi she montitezed her ai Playlist Made by a company who's under fire for stealing unauthorized audio and using it but now she's attacking fans and critics who were trying to tell here what she was doing was WRONG

AI is a dangerous practice and a very controversial topic that is threatening not only art but jobs in general if ai was not being trained on stolen work and being seen as a replacement then maybe I would have a different opinion the problem is its not being seen as a tool but as a REPLACEMENT for human artists whist stealing art from them and creating entirely new images for the stolen work and people keep Making excuses for ai if "get with the times" mean I have to just let ai steal my work then I rather be left behind

And when I was looking at Nondi's Doc she keeps using race(she used are a total of 3 times even again race is NOT the problem and the fact that your using the race card is downright sickening and this is coming from a black person) and she tried to make Jo look like the bad person and acting as if what she's doing isn't overreacting guess what nondi You ARE overreacting and this Animatic and doc is proof and the way you responded has just made things worse you could've used that short hiatus to reevaluate or make a statement no one asked you to apologize for the A.I video but for the misgendering, the hateful comments and to Jo but instead you make 2 videos(one of them being a YT live) and slandered many people(even though you said you don't like bigger platforms using their influence to harm others) she is becoming the thing that she doesn't want to be and it's sad and the fact that fans still defend and fight tooth and nail for her just proves how ignorant these people are critics will critique ANYTHING, EVERYTHING and EVERYONE that should be common knowledge if you become a content creator or a public figure(such as a celebrity, influencer or musician) if you can't wrap your head around that then content creation isn't for you She is a GROWN woman who went on a two-year old rampage over a controversial topic

Remember the reason all of this is happen is beacuse she got pissy over ONE comment and she's using her race as a sheild

This isn't a RACE issue this is an ETHICS issue and she's treating it like some Anti-Black Campaign

Nondi This is Unacceptable

Leave the internet or take a hiatus beacuse this is too far

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shadamyheadcanons · 1 year ago

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I saw a while back you were asked what your favorite interpretations of Shadow and Amy were.

While I don’t disagree (haven’t played heroes so can’t comment there, but have beat SA2) I was curious on your views over Sonic 06 version of Shadow? Ignoring the heavy problems with the game itself, I’m personally a heavy fan of the VA and how he acts.

It may be selfish of me… but I kinda wish Amy got more interactions with Shadow instead of Silver. I get WHY they did it, but I feel like it could of been nice to have them reunite and maybe even contrast the end of SA2 y’know?

First post about my favorite Shadow & Amy portrayals, SA2 and Heroes

Follow-up about Sonic Battle and Sonic Chronicles

I love both Shadow AND Amy in that game!

06 Shadow in particular has been getting a ton of interest in the past few years, and it’s wonderful to see. I considered including it in that first post about my favorites. 06 being such a failure gameplay-wise really screwed things up for the series for a long time. Sega learned all the wrong lessons. No more humans apart from Eggman. No more dark, serious plotlines. One-dimensional characters. No playable characters apart from Sonic in mainline games. None of the others can talk to anyone but Sonic. Obviously there were exceptions to this, but the series lost so much. Sonic 06 is older than most Sonic fans, but we’re only just now getting all of that back with Frontiers, IDW, etc.

This would have been bad enough on its own, but coming off the heels of Sonic 06, it hurt that much more. Sega decided Team Dark weren’t friends directly after their most poignant interactions. Shadow knew who he was. He knew what was important. And he knew he could trust the best friends by his side. When’s the last time he was so self-assured? That’s the downside of the 06 timeline being erased in the end. We know Shadow and Team Dark’s potential, but he doesn’t remember any of it.

That said, I’m ultimately still glad it’s erased. I’d hate for Shadow to go through life knowing the humans would reprogram his own best friend to hunt him down and lock him up forever. It says great things about Shadow, but it makes me like the humans a lot less.

It’s thanks to 06 that I consider Shadow to be the biggest hero in the franchise. This clip encompasses everything that makes his heroism unique:

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“If the world chooses to become my enemy...I will fight like I always have.”

Iconic. Badass. I love the way he drops his inhibitors as he talks. This is Jason Griffith’s delivery at its best.

Sonic fights to protect his friends and the planet he calls home, along with the humans and Mobians who all love him, but there are SO MANY people who’ve treated Shadow like filth, and he still protects them. There’s no one else in canon who’s that selfless, and I also like that 06 doesn’t lean on Maria as the reason he does all this. Shadow himself is a good person and does good things for his own reasons, not just because she told him to.

Heroes proved this, too. Shadow didn’t even remember Maria in that game, but he still made the right call. Maria’s important, but she’s not the only reason he’s a good person.

Jason Griffith does a very good job as Shadow here and elsewhere, but David Humphrey is and always will be my favorite Shadow VA. If Jason is an A-rank, David is S-ranked. I’d be thrilled to have either of them back.

You’ll never see me judge anyone for wanting more Shadow/Amy interactions. I’ve thought the same thing with 06, and I love the Silver/Amy bits, too. She has an adorable scene with him AND starts him on the path to redemption. It’s the Amy Rose Special. I also like how she and Shadow inadvertently worked together to turn him around. Amy raised a question Silver hadn’t thought to ask, and Shadow showed him the answer.

But what this demonstrates to me is that this didn’t have to be an either/or situation.

It would’ve been nice for Amy to reunite with Silver and see how he turned things around. They were both there for the final battle, but they didn’t speak to each other. What if they’d had a scene with all three of them together? I hypothesized about that possibility in headcanon #99.

Side note: I just want to say that I think Amy is great in 06. She has the same cute accidental hug/elevator speech combo she used to turn Shadow around in SA2, but people sleep on it in 06 for some reason. On top of that, a lot of fans willfully misinterpret one particular line of hers. And anyone who knows Sonic 06 knows which one that is.

“If I had to choose between the world and Sonic, I would choose Sonic!”

I’ve seen so many people say she’s a dumb, ridiculous fangirl for this, and I can’t stand it. She’s not saying the rest of the world doesn’t matter, she’s saying that she has so much faith in Sonic as a person that she’d take his side even if the rest of the world said he was wrong. And, uh...she has good reason to! It’s not the first time he’s been falsely accused of something. It’s like these fans conveniently forgot what happened in SA2 the second they saw an opportunity to hurl insults at Amy.

You know what Amy’s line reminds me of most?

“Even if you believe everyone in the world will be against you, know that I’ll always remain by your side. Remember that.”

Yeah. That line everyone loves about ultimate loyalty for someone you care about. The line that many consider to be Rouge’s best. The only difference is that Rouge is a calm young adult talking about a friend, while Amy was an upset young girl whose feelings were too big for careful phrasing and restraint. Combine that with how much hate there was for her at the time, and you have a great, dedicated line absolutely drowned in ice-cold, bad faith takes from the fandom. And Silver needed that fervor to make him question Mephiles, too! It had to be her! It was because he saw how strongly she felt about Sonic that he started having second thoughts. You think a calm statement like Rouge’s could have made him back down from attempted murder?

Much like with Shadow in SA2, it had to be Amy. 06 did a great job with her. Some fans still need to wise up about it. They’ve been recognizing how awesome 06 Shadow is, so maybe, just maybe, they’ll do the same for Amy someday.

#shadow the hedgehog #sonic the hedgehog #not a headcanon #ask #amy rose #anonymous #meta analysis

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savagewildnerness · 1 year ago

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I’ve been thinking about Rolin Jone’s adaptation of Interview with the Vampire and self acceptance.

Let’s look at our main characters: Louis, Lestat, Armand, Claudia and Daniel…

You may disagree with my pondering, but I’m really curious to hear anyone’s thoughts! I thought maybe we could have a little discussion...?

As I see it...

Louis: struggles to accept his full self.

- For all the anger and violence at the core of himself. He is afraid to look too far internally in case what he might find would be too terrifying, so instead he tries to be morally good in action.

Lestat: struggles to feel his self is worthy of love or acceptance from others.

- Lestat feels he is *too much* and there is something inherently *wrong* and flawed with himself. He accepts and likes himself, even while acknowledging (& often revelling in) his bad, evil and negative sides, but he struggles to feel he deserves love because of how often he has been told he is wrong and unloveable and because of the *evil* side he knows is part of him.

Armand: struggles to know who his self is.

- Armand has the most traumatic of all the vampires’ backstories. And not only that, but it was compounded by centuries of reinforcing the notion that his self doesn’t matter through serving in covens. Who truly is Armand? He never got a change to truly discover it. So he can only try to fill himself up with external input in whatever way - be it via the rules of some organisation or the input of one individual. The tragedy is, Armand has a lot of love to give and desperately craves to be loved, but he doesn't understand truly how to love or be loved, and how can he be loved when he doesn't know who he is?

Claudia: struggles to feel perceived for her full self.

- Made a vampire too young, but a full adult in her mind now; By both those who love her and even mores by anyone new she meets (at least initially), Claudia is most often spilt into either “child” or “monster” with nobody truly seeing her for all she is. (In a way Claudia’s struggles are similar to Lestat’s I feel, except you could call Lestat’s lesser as they are more related to love, whereas for Claudia it is more fundamentally getting anyone to even see *who* she truly is.)

Daniel: struggles to feel successful in relationships.

- Daniel has had a successful career. He knows himself and is secure in himself professionally. But he feels he has failed anyone he has loved. He feels he has failed in his relationships, failed with his children, failed to love others in the right way. What has his life outside his work been?

This could obviously be gone into in way more depth, including the impact of character’s race, the eras and societies and locations they were born into and their status in those eras when they were mortal, as well as their mortal experiences of love and trauma and acceptance… but I wanted to just keep it all as simple as I could.

I don’t know… I’m just wondering if by the end of the Vampire Chronicles, whether Rolin might have something to express about whether, given eternity, these immortal beings can ever fully truly accept the entirety of their selves…?

I'd love to hear people's thoughts on this or on any other themes if you'd like to share?

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wonderlandgoblin · 1 year ago

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Okay, so I don’t watch Hazbin Hotel (if I wrote it wrong, sorry) but for like weeks, the only thing I see in the asexual tag is people complaining about allos shipping ace characters in a very allo way, and it’s been annoying me to no end, because while we do have to be upset about that, the ace tag should also function in a way for us to share jokes, have fun and enjoy our identity without having to fight for our right to exist.

So I propose we do something different. Let’s annoy the aphobes. I propose that from now on, every character becomes ace/aro/aroace. No more shipping fanfics, just platonic relationships and friendships. Every fanart is now SFW and has the ace/aro/aroace flags colors.

I DEMAND A REVOLUTION!!!!

Tell me the characters you’re claiming!

My ace claimings are:

1-Luffy (any pairing with him just gives me nausea)

2-Zoro (fuck zosan, he prefers swords over anything except maybe luffy, who he has a squish on)

3-Bakugou Katsuki (I love that kid, I’m making him one of my own)

4-Sasuke (I hate that guy, but he rejected both Sakura and Naruto, that kid’s definitely aroace)

5-Yor (my queen mama prefers killing over kissing, that should be an obvious sign)

6-Yona (no one’s touching my queen, she never liked Soo-won nor Hak, it was all social pressure to not end up alone, fight me)

7-Xie Lian (I don’t like the idea of anyone touching the god I worship, so that means he’s ace now)

8-Kageyama (idk why, he just has a vibe)

9-Handa from Barakamon (I don’t think this needs explanation)

10-Fushiguro Megumi (I like him, he’s one of my own now)

11-Maomao (she prefers venoms over sex)

12-Mash from Mashle (like, look at him, that guy just wants to exercise, eat and be with his family)

13-Violet Evergarden (I don’t think I need to explain this, this girl dedicated her entire life to understanding romance as it made no sense to her, aroace queen)

14-Sokka (he’s too smart to like sex)

15-Zuko (he’s an angel, angels don’t have sex)

16-Magnus Chase AND Alex Fierro (they’re my babies, I identify too much with them, the idea of them having sex gives me the ickies)

17-Jude from the Cruel Prince (I liked her better before she fell for that stupid fairy)

18-Edmund from Narnia (he was my childhood crush, I’m making him ace)

19-Annabeth Chase (she’s too perfect to have sex)

20-Alec Lightwood (I just like imagining Magnus loosing his shit every once in a while because of it)

21-Leo Valdez (bc why not?)

22-Blue Sargent and half the women she lives with (no explanation needed)

23-Dick Gansey the Third (he prefers dead kings over sex)

24-Katniss Everdeen (if you disagree, what is wrong with you?)

25-Castiel (fuck destiel shippers, angels don’t have sex)

26-Felicity from Arrow (haven’t finished the series but as far as I know, she’s too cool for sex)

27-Barbie (she’s a doll, she has no reproductive organs, she can’t feel desire)

I could probably pick more characters but I think this is enough for now, have fun annoying the aphobes!

#ace #aroace #aspec #asexual #fandom #hazbin alastor #spy x family #annabeth chase #magnus chase #anime #the raven cycle #maomao #xie lian #tgcf #atla #sokka #zuko #akatsuki no yona #I’m too lazy to tag every fandom I mentioned

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wellthebardsdead · 8 months ago

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Falûne: *sitting alone at the tiefling party, holding a cup of some type of alcohol and hugging himself with his tail as he just stares at it in silence* …

Halsin: *walks over and joins him* out of everyone here you’re the last person who deserves to be sulking in the corner little wallflower. Whats wrong?…

Falûne: Shadowheart was right… I’m nothing… I’m just a pig keeper… *watches his reflection in the cup ripple with tears, swearing he saw 6 horns instead of 2* I should have never left home, I should have listened to father superior… now I can’t go home, why would he let me back after what I did?… *sniffles* I stole his robes and his sword and this was Selûnes punishment for me… a temple filled with goblin filth for a pig keeper pretending to be a priest… *tips out his wine*

Halsin: *realising he doesn’t remember anything after finding the temple filled with goblins, not the rampage, not his transformation or him fainting when he saw him as a bear* I disagree with all of that and much more. If it weren’t for you we wouldn’t be here celebrating-

Falûne: If it weren’t for the others you mean… all I do is faint and cry… *rubs his eyes on his sleeve before getting up* I’m going to bed…

Halsin: *stands up and gently pulls him into a hug, stroking his hair* You’re so much more than the hurtful voices in your head, lad…

Falûne: *never been hugged by anyone except keldran which always involved some form of pain. His whole body rigid with fear before realising it feels, nice* … *hugs back and relaxes letting him comfort him* when you say it- I can believe it…

Halsin: I’m glad. *smiles and pats his back* and hold off on retiring for the evening, I think someone wants to dance with you. *glances over at the fire as everyone grabs a partner*

Falûne: *looks over to see Dammon anxiously looking at him with gentle eyes and a smile that almost asks his question for him* o-oh I- *jumps a little as Halsin nudges him forward* u-um- *walks to him shyly* d-do you want to dance?

Dammon: Yes! I mean- yes. *clears his throat and grins happily as he takes his hand and runs with him to the dance circle*

Halsin: *smiling watching them* …I’m going to rip Keldrans head off.

Zevlor: leave a piece of him for me- shall we? *offers his arm to dance too*

#dammon bg3 #Halsin bg3 #Zevlor bg3 #Falûne tav #Falûne oc

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bulgariandeficit · 10 months ago

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Side character discourse please, you’re one of the only blogs that post about them little fucks so I felt the need to ask you. The rescue team is overrated as fuck, expecially Roy (hate that guy) but they are the main characters so it is expected that lot of people to like them, I said what I said

I’m not asking you, or anyone for that matter, to agree with me, I just want sum opinions

Hey anonymous guy, don’t be afraid to have some unpopular opinions, i’m here with you (And this is the first time I’ve ever seen a Roy hater).

RCP DISCOURSE 👈

The side characters are generally unpopular because they take up most of the screentime so that leaves little screentime for the rescue team to be developed. But by that logic, they should be more popular right? Wrong.

Some of the reasons that people hate them are because of their personalities. Of course, not everyone likes happy-go-lucky overly nice characters, so there has to be some variety. I do find some of them annoying, but most of the time I like them. A good example is Bruner, who is majorly hated in the fandom. My opinions on him changed a lot, and now I can say I like him. Now that my view of him has changed, I don’t understand the hate against him…

There are plenty of well liked side characters like Camp and Cleany, and the rest being thrown into the “annoying” catergory. Are all of them really annoying? I disagree, except for Mickey, that guy should stay in there /j

Everyone says that the rescue team need a break from the bullshit the citizens put them through, but I actually disagree with that. I’m not gonna elaborate because this post might be longer than my life.

Now, thinking that the rescue team is overrated or that you hate Roy is okay. Not everyone has to like the same thing, just don’t go and be an ass about it to the people that do like them.

#asks #robocar poli #robocar poli discourse #kalin talks about stuff #robocar poli side characters #discourse #Feel free to disagree #State your opinions pls

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sirianasims · 1 year ago

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Cecilia moved in. As a freelance writer, she could work from anywhere, and she loved being closer to nature than she had been in Newcrest. After all, she grew up on her father’s and grandfather’s farm in Henford-on-Bagley. But when her parents got divorced, her mother had moved back to Newcrest with Cecilia and her brother.

I felt happier than I had been for a decade. I couldn’t remember having ever laughed so often or so loudly. I almost felt like when we were teenagers, except this was better.

This time, I truly appreciated just how lucky I was. It was a privilege being with the love of my life, and this time I would do things right.

Everything got even better whenever Freya was there. I loved the feeling of being a proper little family. Freya and Cecilia would joke around like old friends, and it made me happy to see them get along so well.

Freya also stuck to her promise and taught Cecilia to play basketball. Or rather, she tried teaching her. Cecilia was definitely more of a dreamer than an athlete, but she just laughed at her own clumsiness and admired Freya’s skills.

I was so proud of my daughter. I still hadn’t discussed the baby issue with Cecilia, and I really wanted to. But it was still a bit soon for that, we had barely been dating for six months and only just started living together full time. Maybe if everything kept going this well…

That is not to say that everything was perfect bliss – we obviously disagreed sometimes. I still had a tendency to get defensive when I felt criticised, but Cecilia was patient with me, and we always calmly reached some sort of compromise.

Except once.

I don’t even remember what the discussion was about. I just remember that for the first time in our relationship, I lost control and raised my voice, angrily yelling at her about something.

Katherine would have immediately matched my anger and things would have escalated into a full-blown screaming match. Cecilia did not.

All I saw in her eyes was fear.

The love of my life was afraid of me.

It felt like a punch to the stomach.

“Shit. Cecilia, I’m sorry…”

I wanted to crawl into a hole and die on the spot.

Cecilia put her arms around me. My entire body was tense and I couldn’t even look her in the eyes. I felt terrible.

“Eric? Eric, darling, look at me. I’m fine, everything’s fine. Please…”

She was not at all fine, I could hear her voice breaking.

Why was she comforting me? I was the one who did something wrong, I should be the one to comfort her. I held her tight, telling her how sorry I was for yelling, and she started sobbing.

When she’d calmed down, I finally got the full story.

I only knew that her most recent ex had been a bit of a jerk, and that she hadn’t dated for about two years after him. Not until my father had suggested she pay me a visit.

"Jerk" didn’t begin to cover it. The guy had been outright abusive, picking fights just to have an excuse to scream at her. But she was afraid of leaving him, because he was so possessive and jealous. It wasn’t until he finally hit her that she realised that she had to get away.

My heart broke for her. How could anyone treat my sweet, gentle Cecilia like that? She was the kindest person I knew.

But then I realised that I had just been yelling at her myself. The pit in my stomach returned.

I knew then and there that I would never raise my voice at her again. Or anyone else, for that matter. The memory of the fear in her eyes, the fear of me, made my blood run cold.

I realised that I still had a lot to work on. I wanted nothing more than to feel worthy of her love.

Apart from that incident, our relationship was close to perfect.

I was still a little ashamed of my philandering past, but Cecilia insisted that she didn’t care whether I’d bedded a thousand women before her.

What we had was something else.

Still, I wanted to make it up to her, so I did my best to put all my experience to good use.

While my motives may have been questionable in the past, I had never been a selfish lover. Deep down, I had known that I was using all those women to escape my own problems, so I had always made sure to make the experience as enjoyable for them as possible.

With Cecilia, I rediscovered the joy of pleasing someone just to see them happy.

She joked that I spoiled her.

I just wanted to hear her scream my name.

There was no doubt in my mind that Cecilia was the one. By the end of autumn, I had already bought the ring and always carried it with me. A dainty, pale blue thing, the stones set like a butterfly.

Cecilia loved butterflies.

beginning / previous / next

#duchellilegacy #duchellichapters #duchelligen3 #eric duchelli #cecilia bell #freya duchelli

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allergic-alien · 14 days ago

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i’m in the kind of mood where everyone is wrong except for me and i know everything and am right always and will antagonize anyone who dares disagree

#pmdd make me evil :(#i hope i wake up nice and normal tomorrow #x

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realbeijinger · 2 years ago

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A semi-coherent rant on climate change, the value of idealism, and a criticism of TGCF (But also not really because I haven’t finished it yet and also I love MXTX…)

I’m in the middle of Book 3 of Tian Guan Ci Fu, and it is legit making me depressed. Like really, unnecessarily sad. I know I should probably wait until the end to write up my thoughts since I don’t know how things will ultimately turn out, but I feel like I need to process. And so, here we go…

First of all, I am sooo Xie Lian. I feel like this story gets me down so much because it hits too close to home. When I was little, I was super idealistic—I used to go around telling people that love was the most important thing in the world, and that civilization was wrong, because we were destroying the environment, and so we should all go back to living in harmony with nature. I was like a crazy, radical five year old, but also somehow mature-sounding and nauseatingly sweet. Grownups loved me and assumed I would grow up to do something big. But… I haven’t really. Instead I am just a normal person and realized that the world is actually super complicated—like I said, sooo Xie Lian. Except I never became a god or saved even one person…

Anyways, it’s not like I disagree with MXTX’s criticism of blind idealism. She hit the nail on the head—crushingly well. But I guess, like Xie Lian, I am still clinging to that last bit of hope I haven’t let go of yet.

In TGCF and Mo Dao Zu Shi, things are never black and white, and she criticizes those characters who act with a blind sense of righteousness. She believes in nuance. And yet, in our current moment, we are headed toward a climate catastrophe, and it feels like we are all just sitting back, trying to carefully weigh the ideal course of action—the pros and cons, scared of being too rash, too impulsive—while the world burns.

When I first started watching the Untamed (which is where my MXTX journey started), I was initially drawn in by this extremely beautiful man who was willing to sacrifice so much to do what was right. I loved how he refused to compromise with this screwed up society. Because, I am so frustrated with myself for always compromising. For being part of this system that’s horrible and destroying the world and personally doing very little to stop it. And I wanted to be inspired—and for a minute I was by Wei Wuxian.

And then, of course, it turns out that the real message was the complete opposite of that, and having dogmatic, uncompromising morals is not something to be applauded. In the eyes of MXTX, it’s very dangerous.

And I mean, she’s not wrong. But I can’t help but think maybe we still need heroes like that. I really admire Greta Thunberg who refuses to fly in planes, buy anything new, doesn’t eat meat. Before anyone joined her protests, she was ditching school every day, literally sitting all by herself in front of Swedish parliament with one pathetic-looking sign. I mean that kind of commitment takes HUGE resolve. It has to come from a total sense of self-righteousness, from a complete unwillingness to compromise or back down—a refusal to listen to her parents, or her teachers, or the large numbers of people around her who were definitely telling her she was nuts. I mean, I try to go veg, and my mother-in-law hands me one homemade meat dish and I instantly fold…

In interviews, Greta often talks about how being on the autism spectrum causes her to view the world in very black and white terms—with good and evil being clearly defined. She often refers to the older generation as “evil” for their role in the climate crisis—a word MXTX would probably not approve of. Normally, I don’t think black and white thinking is good. I also believe in nuance. But when it comes to something like climate, it’s incredibly complicated but also incredibly simple. We have to stop burning fossil fuels. We have to do it now. If we want humanity to survive, we don’t have a choice. We gotta pull out all the stops. We can’t hesitate. And if we do, we’ll lose everything. Any drawbacks that may come from us not using fossil fuels are completely outweighed if the climate goes to shit. There’s no real nuance in that. And to get people to make that sort of change, you need passion. You need motivation. You need feeling. Basically, you need blind idealism. We are soooo screwed, and really, blind idealism is all we have left.

And I want to have that. Part of me wants to get back to that idealism I lost. But like Xie Lian, I don’t know how…

I dunno. There are always reasons not to do anything. Most of us know life is complicated—our limitations are usually way too obvious. But, I think, sometimes we still should take the single log bridge into darkness. And maybe we need some dumb, cliché hero story to give us the motivation to do it…

Of course, saving the world is not easy. Especially when it comes to large scale national or international politics, the situation in Xianle demonstrates very clearly how easy it is to create unintended consequences. Everything is so complex. There are so many factors, so many competing interests to consider. I do not envy political leaders.

But most of us are not political leaders. Most of us are just ordinary people who want to make the world a little better. We have the capacity to be activists, but that’s it. We don’t have the power to make detailed policy decisions anyway. And so, to some extent, I don’t think we need to worry so much about all that. We just have to push politicians in the right direction.

Even at that high leadership level, though, I do think it’s possible to make better choices—ones that create less harm. And I do think we have an obligation to try and find those. I don’t agree with what the State Preceptor said (and what I think MXTX actually believes), that “Assigning fault is meaningless.” To me, that’s akin to giving up on morality altogether.

A lot of this is a matter of perspective. Yes, if you zoom out far enough, assigning fault is meaningless. But then, if you zoom out far enough, everything is meaningless. Everything we love and care about will one day be gone. Our battles for justice, for equality, for the people we love, will all be entirely pointless once our current society goes the way of the Aztecs, once humanity disappears, once the earth gets swallowed by the sun.

Again, if we zoom far enough out, climate change is not really a problem. According to that wise state preceptor, “In this world, fortune—good or bad—is predetermined.” MXTX believes there is only so much good fortune in the world. If we somehow manage to take too much of it, we will eventually pay the price. Balance will be restored.

Which is exactly what is happening in this era of climate catastrophe. In the past 200 years since the industrial revolution, humanity has taken a lot of fortune. For the first time in history, we don’t worry every day about finding food. We’ve conquered a whole host of deadly diseases, have greatly reduced our need for manual labor, and can spend our days in mental pursuits, making art, or writing self-indulgent essays about Chinese web novels.

All of this, I would argue, is not really because of human ingenuity, but because we happened to find an incredibly powerful energy source—fossil fuels—which have given us the illusion of “human progress.” Let’s remember that this “progress” has only lasted for about 200 years, a small dot on the graph of human existence (300,000 years), and that for most of that time, people viewed history as a cycle, with inevitable ups and downs, rather than a continuous march upward.

In other words, in the past 200 years, we’ve taken too much fortune. But nature will correct the balance. I don’t think climate change will destroy life on earth. Even if the worst happens and humanity bites the dust, other species will most likely persist, evolving into creatures completely new—a rebirth, of sorts. Looking at it from that far-off, disinterested perspective, it’s not really a problem. It’s just what nature does. New species follow each other, one after the next—like passing seasons.

But, even if all this is true, I don’t think we can be so detached. I don’t think we can live our lives believing that morality is pointless, not trying to do the right thing, or not worrying about how our actions affect others. If we approach life with such indifference, what’s to stop us from completely giving up?

One of my favorite TV shows is this old drama called Dead Like Me, where a wise, older character (a state preceptor, of sorts), says to the main character, “If you stand too close to a painting — all you see are patches of color, if you stand too far back, you can't see any of the detail.” In other words, when it comes to life, you need to stand the right distance away. Personally, I think MXTX is standing too far back. It’s true, there is so much we can’t control. Though we may be able to make things better for a bit, we cannot alter the basic cycle of life. Life is suffering. It was true when Buddha said it, and it’s true now. And if we try to “attempt the impossible,” as the Jiang motto says, and radically change that dynamic, we will fail.

But unlike in MXTX’s universe, fate doesn’t really screw us at every turn. Every day there are small victories. I used to do social work, which really was an exercise in the futility of trying to fix deeply rooted problems with insufficient tools, but I still remember those few times when I did do something right: the old man with dementia I got to take his meds, the guy who found his family on Facebook.

Even just writing a stupid email to Biden telling him to stop the drilling… we have to value those actions. We have to be invested. Sure, the universe doesn’t care. But I think we should still care. We can’t just throw up our hands and say the world is fucked. Because if everyone did that, the world really would be fucked. Even more so than it already is.

Again, I realize I don’t entirely know where she’s going with all this. It’s very possible there’s going to be more to it than just criticizing idealism. Despite all the depressing stuff, I see crumbs of hope in how Hua Cheng loves Xie Lian, and values his attempts to help others. The line, “Although foolish, it is brave,” just floored me. I loved it so much. Honestly, I’d probably be happy if she leaves open any hope for idealism at all.

But also, I have to prepare myself for the possibility that I will not totally agree with what she has to say. Which should be fine. I mean, in real life, I’m pretty good at interacting with people I fundamentally disagree with. But… in the hands of an author like MXTX, I feel like my emotions are like putty. I’m completely at her mercy. And partially, I don’t want to fight that. I want to give myself to the story, and lose myself in it completely. That’s a great feeling, but also, kind of… vulnerable? And then, when so emotionally invested, to suddenly realize that what the author’s saying bothers me…

Of course, I’ll get over it. I always do. Usually I write meta or fanfic as a way to process—to get out of someone else’s story, out of their head, and back into my own.

Anyways, we’ll see. Don’t tell me what happens!! I am trusting YOU, strangers on the internet!

If that’s not blind idealism, I don’t know what is…

#tgcf #mxtx #mdzs #climate change #tian guan ci fu #heaven official's blessing #mo dao zu shi #the untamed #chinese bl

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thelovingfriend · 1 month ago

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If they pick a fascist pope I think I’m gonna have to swallow my pride and just start calling myself a Christian. I’m still going to practice the same but like I’m not gonna act like every pope was the right pick and I’m not the only Catholic who feels that way. Idk anyone who was even neutral about them picking a Nazi we were all pissed. You can say that makes me not a Catholic but like me and every Catholic person I know who were all raised Catholic were pissed about that idk anyone who thought that was good. Converts should honestly never ever speak to me about the pope. So many converts only converted to Catholicism bc it prioritizes male authority that’s undeniable. So many converts will never experience God in a meaningful way because they are full of hate. and idk except for like really old relatives who got pissed when they stopped saying mass in Latin everyone my age and even a lot of boomers have wanted church reform. My parents have been conservative republican Catholics my whole life and are completely accepting of gay and trans ppl. They never in my life would tell me that either was sinful or wrong. They aren’t the only boomers like this. You can be Catholic and want church reform and disagree sometimes and tradcath converts will tell you they are more Catholic than people who were born and in the church and learned about God their whole lives in sunday school and even regular every day school from caring and compassionate people who were not anti lgbt or nazis. Ugh!!!!

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gunmeister · 5 months ago

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how would you interpret the dynamic between luckdallas? what makes others’ interpretation of the ship wrong (to you)? i’m interested!

okkkk wow hi! ok so just a general disclaimer before i get really into this: i have very specific thoughts and opinions on most ships and i'm really picky in general with the sort of stuff i enjoy. i'm not posting this to dog on people who write luckdallas and me saying people write it "wrong" mostly is just for the bit i do where i like to pretend i'm always right about matters of baccano every time. however people interpret those 2 characters is completely up to them lol; i AM just doing my usual bit when i trash talk like that.

so, i think luck and dallas have a REALLY really long way to go before they're ever at a level where they would ever even think for a second about being romantically involved, and that's ... sort of mostly my issue with a lot of luckdallas fics.

it's probably because most people are writing with the end goal of having them together in mind, but a lot of people who write luckdallas content seem to take the escalation between them very quickly, or start things out by insinuating there's some kind of sexual tension between them from the beginning and that they're in perfect positions to be eachothers' release. i do not believe this is the case so it's where i disagree with a lot of luckdallas fics.

here is where i stand on their dynamic! i think that dallas is too hateful of the world beyond eve and unwilling to let anyone else into his extremely tight circle to approach ***anyone*** in a non-hostile way, let alone luck. and, somewhat more crucially, luck has absolutely NO respect whatsoever for dallas, to the point where he literally can't even remember dallas's name, or at the very least pretends not to remember it for the sole purpose of being disrespectful. it's made very clear that dallas is the lowest and most insignificant type of person from luck's point of view, and luck is actually very closed-off beyond the bounds of his family as well.

because of this, i think it would actually take a lot more work than most writers who are just looking to see how their dynamic ends up are generally willing to put into things.

also, even aside from that ... i think those sorts of fics make luck a little bit too open and dallas a little bit too nice. luck is the sort of person who actively hides a lot of his thoughts and feelings—we rarely see him without either his usual "vulpine" smile or a general air of indifference, except when he's VERY angry or upset.

a lot of luckdallas fics also seem to be operating under the assumption that dallas's path to becoming a better person is connections with luck and therefore other people, and i don't disagree with this, but i actually think most people make him a little bit TOO nice. being a dick is a quintessential part of dallas's character, and even to eve who he loves more than anyone in the world, he generally says and does dickish things even though he *isn't* trying to hurt her.

dallas demonstrably isn't the sort of person who finds any sort of reflection of the rest of the world in his relationships—i think inviting someone new into his circle would make him less of a dick to THEM, for sure, but i believe dallas would still hate the world at large. that is to say, he probably wouldn't get along with luck's brothers, or a lot of the higher ranking members of the gandor family besides them, or FIRO, or claire, etc ... anyway, i actually think that luck's relationship with his family would factor into a hypothetical relationship with dallas in the sense that he values their opinions pretty highly, especially berga and keith's.

also, crucially, i think there's only one factor that could actually get luck to care about dallas if you're looking at them from a canon lens, and it's his relationship with eve. and even then, i really don't think that that factor ALONE is enough to change luck's mind about whether or not he should give dallas the benefit of the doubt—i genuinely think he would have to have some manner of extended interactions with dallas in which eve comes up.

anyway, i think if that sort of tight and complicated scenario ever showed up in people's writing with the buildup i'd like to read about it. i generally explore slash fic from a lens of "what would it take for the characters to get to that point?" but it seems like a lot of luckdallas stuff (and, tbh, non-canon pairing fics in general) operates from the basis of "how would these characters have to be different in order for them to want to be together?" and i'm just not interested in that. at the core of things.

#baccano #anonymous #thanks for the ask though i like talking about my complicated feelings about luckdallas

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abcleverun · 2 years ago

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In Defense of @xcatxgirlx

There was drama in the Ben 10 fandom ages ago. Little fuzzy on the exact details, but one of the major points of it (from my perspective) was this post.

In the post, my good friend Lenin added joke tags about their headcanon that Ben would grow up to be a multiple-time divorcee, but would eventually get his life together and settle down in a loving marriage with Rook.

I've known Lenin for years, and they often make jokes like this. I know for a fact that they genuinely care about Ben as a character, and I've seen their writing about Ben getting a happy ending. But the catch is, Lenin is also a fairly private person, and they don't often share their work with others unless they're close with them. Edit: Mb, I got this wrong. Lenin was new to the fandom and just started making posts about it. The context was something they provided in Ruby’s old server, but hadn’t shared with others yet.

So since she has no frame of reference, this is where Cat misinterprets the post as a genuine attack on Ben's character. (Double edit: I’m not trying to defend Cat’s behavior here. My point is, I don’t think she’s a monster)

Everyone who knows of Cat knows she's an extremely defensive person, especially when it comes to Ben. So she takes Lenin's comments seriously, making a response siting multiple canonical sources about how Ben is a good love interest.

Now, personally, I think it's reductive to label people as "deranged" or "unhinged" for being attached to a character. This entire drama was centered around ableism, and it's fairly hypocritical to overlook how she's been treated—not just here, but broadly. She's given little to no charity because she's "weird" about Ben. I don't mean to compare, but looking back, it seems that Cat was treated... like she was insane. Just because few people used the words, doesn't mean she wasn't treated like a psycho. It's the kind of hypocritical leftist thought of, "ableism is wrong, (except when someone's being the wrong kind of neurodivergent.)" And I'm not here to diagnose her, but you don't need a diagnosis to understand that, when someone behaves differently, they shouldn't be treated like they're freaks.

But of course, as people will argue, it's mostly about the harm someone does. And people say Cat caused a lot of harm.

So I'm going to say something. And people will almost certainly disagree, but if you have receipts, I'm more than happy to see them! I'd love to, I'm more than willing to be proven wrong!

However, from what I've seen,

She has never made a post attacking a specific person.

All her posts are about taking an argument and breaking it down. Her primary goal isn't to harass anyone, it's to defend Ben.

People talk about harassment campaigns. People often say, "Cat and co."

But, despite everything, she's... shockingly... absent.

She makes a point. She will argue that point. But if things go into ad hominins, or ultimately go nowhere, she will block you. Like she had me blocked, for the longest time.

There were harassment campaigns, but it wasn't her.

Again, people referenced "Cat and co."

So who was co?

Omnicrom was the one who caused this to become something bigger. Omnicrom was the one who never blocked anyone, Omnicrom was the one who called people pieces of shit in human skin, Omnicrom is the one who has a massive harassment post as their pinned post.

But Omnicrom and Cat are friends, right?

Well.

Omnicrom's blog is FULL of them reblogging and replying to Cat's posts. But what's fascinating is, Cat almost never replies back. Cat rarely talks to them, at least publicly.

So if they're not close, then why did Cat never call out Omni's behavior? Well, think about it. What other allies does Cat have? Even if she doesn't care for them, who else is regularly treating her with any kind of civility?

Why would she go out of her way to alienate one of the only people in the fandom treating her in any way that's halfway decent, especially when everyone else thinks she's a monster?

I know I probably don't have the full story. I know there's a lot of pieces that I'm missing. But I think I know enough to confidently say that Cat has been given the shit end of the stick, and a lot of shitty things that other people did have been unjustly pinned on her. It's obvious that Cat has a story behind her, that there's a reason she grew claws. Call me a bleeding heart, but I think she deserves more charitability than she was given.

#ben 10 discourse #ben 10 fandom drama #xcatxgirlx #omnicrom #abclevertalks

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riverdale-retread · 2 years ago

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Riverdale S7 E 11 (Chapter 128) Halloween 2

Jughead has found some sort of closure with the death of Rayberry though no answers yet about his potential murder, so he’s back to narrating. Except - you know how Veronica said that his storytelling had troubling sexual politics (i.e. misogynistic)? Well, he disappointed me by casually using the very unexamined & cliche misogynist phrase “crazy cat lady” about that woman who wanted to know if there was some milk she could borrow.

He is not showing his usual acumen at sussing out the weird. Because her obsession with filching milk from the associates of a known suicide is very intriguing. Some questions, such as: Is this area some place that is impossible to get milk delivery? Has she ever seen the milkman or is this a place the milk man never came and suddenly showed up for Rayberry? Is this residence in a food desert where getting basics like milk is difficult? Jughead is usually sympathetic to the underprivileged and yet- 1950s Jughead casual misogyny! #disappoint.

Anyway, after failing to follow up on that potential lead, he nevertheless goes charging over to Sheriff Keller’s house to bother him in the middle of a not great work month to tell him he’s doing his job badly. Unsurprisingly, Keller’s reaction is not amused. Jughead thinks that the milkman is important - “a killer milkman at large” he says, even though he doesn’t like saying it. He literally cringes at himself (decade upon decades ahead of his time) in having to say the words A, Killer, Milkman, At, Large. His hands are up in a very defensive, hands-up pose, begging Please don’t kick me out and Please don’t think i’m crazy. Keller is being very courteous. He says it’s already established that Rayberry suicided - which Jughead vehemently disagrees with.

It’s very hard to get law enforcement to redo homework they’ve already turned in. Keller is not at all an exception to this rule. He wants Jughead to produce someone who actually SAW a milkman, before he opens Rayberry’s case again. He tells Jughead to stop being annoying, trying to give him work and such, then segues immediately into exposition for this episode: Halloween is “not for teenagers looking to make trouble,” so he wants Jughead, a known trouble maker in Keller’s eyes because of his obsession with making Keller do proper policework, to remember “our ban.”

He has Jughead all wrong, does Keller, and always has across all universes. Like, the narrative shows that Jughead liked, at minimum, and probably adored (for unspecified reasons) Jason Blossom but Keller accused Jughead of somehow obtaining a gun, shooting Jason at point blank range in the forehead and then transporting his body all the way to the river to dump it there. Jughead for the past several episodes has been entirely isolated from anyone who does anything social in Riverdale right now (Archie, Reggie, Betty, Veronica), is trying to nurture a romantic friendship with Tabitha Tate, and is also revealed to be someone who has milk as part of his nutritionally complete breakfast - he’s as buttoned up and wholesome in his daily habits as anyone can be, in short - but Keller feels compelled to tell him to not get into trouble on Halloween.

We’re at the very fancily done traincar (Seriously, is that ceiling really like that or is that clever trompe l’oeil hollywood magic via Veronica??), where Jughead, who still manages to sleep with his felt crown without crushing it, contemplates a very full bottle of milk like it’s the skull of Yorick before smelling it then pouring it down the drain.

Many questions again - Does Jughead’s *train car* get milk delivery service? Also he has a drain? It connects to a sewage system somehow? (I also wonder this all the time about the OG Universe Dilton’s Bunker which has a flush toilet.) In any case, he just pours what he thinks might be poisoned straight into the sewage system.

While Drac’s Back (the song) is playing, Veronica is having breakfast at the Babylonium, which has on its marquee “Science Fiction Double Feature.” I have long black hair and bangs. Why can’t my hair look like that? How does she do that? She’s excited because she’s going to wear a whole dominatrix witch outfit to school.

Veronica’s outfit is EYE POPPING. Super high heels, large-gauge fishnet stockings, a boudoir chiffon skirt over a gem encrusted bodysuit, bare shoulders and arms, studded collar, an excellent broom prop and a fantastic witch hat. Her lipstick is black even. Everyone is completely agog, then it turns a bit mocking. As she walks down the hall, Veronica realizes these people don’t do Halloween costumes at school. At all.

When she enters the student lounge, her appearance is greeted with a record scratch sound. Betty can’t stop smiling about how hot Veronica looks to her (“You look- [grin grin grin] everything PLUS.”) Everyone’s reactions are so funny. Dilton is startled but can’t not stare at Veronica’s ass as she walks past him to talk to the people who count. Betty as I’ve said is very happy. Veronica glows so hot Reggie can’t actually keep looking directly at her. Archie is googly eyed with happiness. Why Betty and Archie look at each other to confirm that Veronica is indeed looking very fetching is the question that should launch much speculation about their respective sexualities.

In any case, Archie, then Cheryl, then Toni provide some context rules: Riverdale is uncomfortable about Halloween unlike Greendale which actively celebrates it, to such an extent that teenagers have to observe a sundown curfew. When Archie explains finally that a bunch of teenagers died in a tragic car accident on Halloween a few years back, Clay also looks intrigued. Veronica is bereft about not being able to do anything much on Halloween. Also nobody is allowed to say “hell” - Archie says “raising Heck” and Kevin says “raising Cain.” Reggie won’t even miss it - he’s never celebrated Halloween.

Veronica gives a little speech about all the ways Halloween can be liberating - for sexual exploration as well as to “honor the dead.” When Veronica says “back in Los Angeles” and describes what sounds like a normal Hollywood party, Cheryl has a really bad reaction. Why is Cheryl so enraged every time Veronica talks about Los Angeles? In any case, Veronica says the Lodges had “a family altar” where they lit candles for the dead. Im’ curious about the insane amount of Halloween related decorations that are up in this room anyway - no fewer than five carved Jack O Lanterns, a witch decal, more pumpkins, a couple skulls and ghosts and bats.

Veronica announces that nothing shall hold her down. She also uses the word “gatekeepers” and I don’t know if that means anything. Just in time to her saying, “Just when you think this town couldn’t get any kookier” in comes Jughead. Who immediately starts freaking out about milk. He starts screaming to NOT DRINK FRESH MILK ANYMORE. He slaps Dilton’s milk carton right out of his hand. He advises everyone to Drink Powdered Milk. Veronica is so tired of his silliness. I wonder if she’s going to do anything about it, because she is the only who is shown having a reaction.

We cut to Ethel, on the phone next to a very overbearing Mother Mary statuary AND a crucifix on the wall, telling Jughead she’s OK. Ethel says she misses Jughead (aww) and she misses school but this all just sails right over his head because he is still in his manic episode about the milkman. He tells Ethel, incarcerated in an insane asylum for claiming a milkman killed her parents, that he doesn’t want to upset her further but then directly proceeds to tell her his theory that his favorite author (which she knows! Because they’re actually really friends!) was murdered by “a” milkman at the very least. Then she has a great insight- that it would be useful to talk to whoever wrote the originating Killer Milkman comic. Just as Jughead is about to exult about this idea, Ethel hurriedly says that she has to go because the nun is giving her the evil eye, ending with a meaningful “hopefully I will see you soon.” Jughead wonders what she meant.

At the shop class facilities at school, Archie has successfully involved himself in Betty and Reggie’s twosome project to make Bella a usable car. Reggie and Archie are wearing matchy-matchy his-and-his T shirts smudged just the right amount with gunk (Reggie in white, Archie in green). The two of them flexing their muscles side by side doing car fiddly things makes Betty, who is dressed like Rosie the Riveter but with a pink paisley bandana that leaves most of her hair free, falls immediately into an erotic fugue. Her fantasies are really very specific - a threesome when the two others have eyes - and lips - only for her. Archie wants to give Reggie a “real Halloween” because all he’s ever done is cowtipping.

Betty defines a real Halloween as 1. trick or treating, 2. visiting a graveyard and 3. necking in a haunted house. Archie is familiar with 1 and 2 but she just made up No. 3, I think, because his eyes are bugging out of his head. He looks over at Reggie to see if he’s into it. Reggie is all about it.

Meanwhile, Veronica is flipping through the scrapbook of the Babylonium’s events of the past. There was in 1942 a Halloween Ghost Show at this theater, where a Phantom Polka Dancer would “appear in person” for “one night only.” The phantom polka dancer looks a lot like that possessed girl from The Exorcist. Veronica wants to recreate this ‘Halloween Ghost Show’ but before she can complete her smirk of satisfaction she hears thudding from what should be the empty projection room.

Very bravely, she goes to investigate. In it she discovers the gays necking. Clay pretends he left keys in the room. Veronica wants to do a 1920s glam themed ghost show for a Halloween night indoor event for the teenyboppers - staying with the letter of the law in order to flout its spirit. She’s so ambitious - it’s gonna be “monsters, movies, burlesque” ending with a “raising of the dead at midnight.”

Is Jughead even going to school anymore or does he just pop in and out of the publishing house at lunch time? In any case, his editor in chief keeps zero track of who has written what, so he doesn’t know who wrote the Milkman comics. But he does invite Jughead to the staff party for grown ups.

I guess Betty has completely subdued the school principal as well as his child psychologist boyfriend because the sheer amount of school real estate that Veronica’s promotional activities for her business is allowed to take up in its halls is astonishing. For a town that supposedly has a lot of trauma about four teenagers that died on Halloween, the booth she’s erected is enormous and spectacular. Clay and Kevin shout things like “There will be mayhem” but there isn’t a single disapproving adult in sight. Veronica is brazen. She promises that the four dead Riverdale students will “return from the dead before your very eyes.”

Later, Toni approaches Cheryl to show us that she’s back to her old bullshit. Here she is, drawing Cheryl ‘out’ again, to participate in a gay-backup-dancers-only floor show choreographed by Veronica. Cheryl isn’t so sure about any of this, and in any case, she has Vixen duties. After giving Cheryl (and only Cheryl) an inexplicably hard time about race dynamics, now Toni brings up the need for LGBTQ solidarity in order to force Cheryl into doing something that Cheryl isn’t sure about, that will also cause her to renege on an obligation she feels is a “tradition.” “People like us” is what Toni says. She is so manipulative.

At the end of basketball practice, Uncle Fucking Frank wants to make sure that none of his boys is gonna “go out wilding.” The locker room is also festooned with Halloween paraphernalia. Who put it up and why?

Julian starts to immediately make trouble. He has a little towel draped around his lower half, and I wonder if he’s in the same erotic fugue about Reggie and Archie, because he unnecessarily spread his legs to put one foot up on the bench to show both of them his junk as he invites the two to go ‘wilding’ with him. Reggie says no. Julian starts bark-hooting to get the other boys riled up after announcing that the ‘wilding’ is going to begin in the school parking lot after sundown on Halloween. Archie disapproves, turning his back on everyone to open his locker.

WE HAVE A VERY COOL LOCKER TO LOCKER TRANSITION as Archie closes his locker which then turns into Veronica’s locker door in the girls’ locker room, which she opens. She and Betty are talking about Reggie’s virginity (about Halloween) and how unbelievable that is. Veronica knows that Betty has the hots for someone, so she asks about it. Betty confesses that she has the hots for both Reggie and Archie. She advises Betty to use Halloween night to figure out which one makes her clit tingle more (“figure out which way your love compass is truly pointing”). Veronica’s skin in this game is that she wants to be told all about it the next day.

At the Blossom mansion, Penelope is drinking some red liquor. Her hair is amazingly ridiculous and it looks like a bitch to maintain it so it looks that exact degree of wrong and unflattering. Omg she’s so hot. Anyway. She thinks that Cheryl is less likely to gayly molest the other cheerleaders if they “decamp” the sleepover to “the grand hall.” Julian apparently is fully aware of what is being discussed, enough to object to his mother putting images of his sister engaging in “hanky panky” into the dinner conversation.

Adult supervision finally catches up with Veronica just as she’s putting the final touches on the decorations for her Halloween show. Alice Cooper appears, bristling with insecurity about the new competition in the Halloween entertainment of Riverdale of which she’s had a monopoly so far (“It’s not going to affect our ratings.”) Hence the whole Halloween taboo is partially revealed to be not so much about lowering teen mortality nor in honor of the dead. It’s about ratings & eyeballs on advertisers. Alice says that she will “allow” the event to proceed, but tells Veronica that she has been “put on notice.” About what? That Alice disapproves of Veronica?

After stocking up on Powdered Milk, Jughead hears someone walk directly up to his (very insecure) residence. He’s immediately terrified. He hides after grabbing some sort of hammer or poker or something.

It’s Ethel! She’s all smudged with dirt, wearing a very disheveled inmate uniform.

Jughead wants to know how she escaped from the asylum. She says that she’d heard about the escape tunnels, so she spent all her time looking for them. Having located them, it was her truncated call with Jughead that “gave me the push I needed to make a break for it.” Because she is alone that absolutely nobody ever calls her (not Betty, not Alice, not Dilton, not Ben) that she clung on to the one slight indication she was entirely forgotten! The two of them exchange a tender look. I like them together. Ethel says her keepers were cruel and abusive, so she just needs to make it a “couple months” until she’s 18. Jughead wants to invite her to stay with him, but it’s not safe. He offers Rayberry’s apartment, because Rayberry had the very useful foresight to pay rent through to the end of the year.

Jughead is just the nicest. He is concerned that she might be too afraid to stay in a dead man’s apartment, but Ethel is stalwart. He also invites her to a party her first night sprung from jail.

In the bathroom at school, Midge seeks permission to not have to go to the slumber party from Cheryl. Cheryl responds at first with the party line - the slumber party is “a Vixen tradition” and “the center must hold.” Midge folds immediately.

Cheryl is, I will note again, incredibly powerful in this timeline. Archie really, really didn’t know what he was talking about when he said people don’t listen to Cheryl. He’s simply protected from her wrath by dint of having the ginger gene.

But then, Cheryl realizes she wants to go to the Veronica-led event, so she comes up with the idea to let Evelyn (“that witchy witch”) to host the slumber party instead, so she and Midge can go to the Babylonium instead. The two girls (the gay one and the pregnant one) sweetly affirm to each other how discreet each of them are, and promise to reveal a big secret on Halloween night.

So even though he allowed (or was powerless against) Veronica to do whatever she wanted in terms of her commercial activities, Featherhead and his boyfriend still have hard-ons for giving Jughead Jones a rough time. Jughead is subjected to questioning by the pair as well as Keller and Sister Woodhouse about the missing Ethel Muggs. Being a smart boy, Jughead has learned all the right lessons from Rayberry about how to deal with these people’s pressure tactics. He responds with sarcastic amazement that they’ve essentially ‘lost’ Ethel - that is, he avoids lying but simply neglecting to answer an unstated question. Then when Keller threatens him with another home invasion, Jughead directly asks him not to ‘trash’ the place with a smile, which he wipes from his face immediately to demonstrate his disdain. As he takes his leave, a very Halloween ghost cackles for him as part of the soundtrack transition to the next scene.

At home, Archie and Reggie are putting themselves into the costumes created by Mary Andrews (who can’t stand to be seen now that there are THREE men in the house.) Reggie and Archie discuss Betty. The boys boast to each other about “getting vibes” from Betty. Archie suddenly wonders if Betty might want to “make it” with one of them this night. Made entirely of cheekbones, pouty lips and pecs, this causes Reggie to very homosexually get super close to Archie to say that it wouldn’t surprise him if Betty had such horny plans, since “she ain’t blind.”

It’s very ambiguous actually if he means only himself, or Archie, or both of them. In the mirror, he’s looking at himself frontwise, but he’s also looking at Archie’s sculpted arms and chest and the rest of him in the all american white T and jeans. Archie either genuinely doesn’t (he is just not smart in this universe) or pretends to think that Reggie meant only himself. So they stand shoulder to shoulder in the mirror, because that’s a very heterosexual thing to do, while Archie says that “she might wanna get with me, Reg.” Having been thus rejected, Reggie walks away from him. Unholstering his big gun, Reggie suggests that if either of them get the feeling that Betty has chosen either one of them, the unchosen will “vamoose.” Archie agrees, which leads to the two of them pointing their guns at each other. Twice.

Ethel and Jughead arrive at the Halloween party. I wish I knew what they were dressed as. Jughead is wearing a huge stovepipe hat. Ethel is in the mask that Jughead promised her. The extraordinarily elaborate costumes that all these comic book industry people are wearing would put a lot of cons to shame. Bernie screams for Jughead, launching himself into an embrace. Jughead looks extremely happy to be embracing Bernie. Bernie says “It’s gonna be a crazy night” so Jughead and Ethel enter the fray.

While her parents are hamming it up on tv, Betty’s three suitors (Reggie, Archie and for some reason Dilton) are waiting for her to appear at their home. When Archie and Reggie (meanly) imply that Dilton is there as a form of hero worship for the two of them in his role as “the water boy,” Dilton stands up for himself to let them know that Betty invited him in particular to be here.

When she appears, Betty’s cleavage looks absolutely amazing. It brings Reggie and Archie to their feet. Dilton is so agog that he doesn’t know what she’s supposed to be. Betty has really thought of everything about this entrance, from the costume to the perfect thing to say. She’s Goldilocks because “she couldn’t decide on a bed so she tried all three. Dilton has a really huge pumpkin head as his costume.

Reggie is having the best time trick or treating. He cocks out a hip and deploys his dimples to maximum effect. Of course, the good times can’t last. The four of them witness Julian and others bashing pumpkin decorations with baseball bats as they drive by, hollering. Of course, the cops are nowhere to be seen when it’s Julian Blossom flouting the rules and causing actual property damage. Dilton wisely decides he’s had enough, and goes home.

At Veronica’s event at the Babylonium, things look very “Cabaret” to me, which is 1930s not 20s, but it doesn’t matter. People look very sexy here. The costumes for this are eye popping as well - one girl has a whole 3 foot tall headdress and everything. As soon as Cheryl and Midge enter, Toni is all over Cheryl.

I was so happy they didn’t make me listen to Fangs singing at his big gig, but Riverdale betrays me by forcing me to listen to him at this party.

At the Pep Comics party, workaholic artists gonna art, apparently because sketching is going on - with Ethel participating! Jughead interviews a series of very interestingly wonky-looking people. One guy in a silk top hat who says he doesn’t know who wrote the Milkman story but is seething with jealousy over it. Jonah, in smudgy eyeliner, doesn’t think it was that great. Then Jughead talks to the devil, who tells him that it was “Ted Sullivan, a journeyman writer.” (Ted Sullivan is on the writing staff at Riverdale, and wrote among others, the “Killing Mr. Honey” episode.) After saying his name four times, Riverdale drops the bomb that this Ted is dead, died the same way as Rayberry, because he didn’t think he could live up to the masterpiece that was the Milkman Comic. Then the devil launches into a speech about “the enemy is here, at home” and “we’re the enemies.” Jughead is very startled.

After lighting a truly huge number of candles at the graveyard, Reggie and Bettie are howling at the sky. Reggie says he knows a lot about wolves because he’s a fellow alpha who grew up with them. His way of showing off is so cute and so dumb. “Is that what you think you are? An alpha?” Betty asks in a butter soft voice.

I know they’ll deny it, but Riverdale writing team has read at least some of those werewolf-Serpent fanfics, because this set up - howling together ‘as a joke’ in a graveyard on Halloween then having Reggie and Betty talk like this is almost a fricking prompt for some Retty/Beggie werewolf AUs to be drafted.

What could be a very interesting alpha-omega discussion between this pair is interrupted by Julian and a couple Bulldogs still whooping it up as they cruise around town being a nuisance. Seeing Julian breaks the mood between Reggie and Betty, causing her to go seek Archie out.

Of course, Archie is sadly contemplating his father’s gravestone. Betty starts to apologize immediately. Even though he clearly isn’t, Archie reassures her that he’s fine and that it’s ok and it’s fine. Then he demonstrates how haunted he is by this father’s absence -he immediately launches into a memory. The two used to do a lot of trick or treating together as kids, even doing Tom Sawyer and Becky Thatcher. Then I realize that I fell for it - THIS WAS ALL A PLOY. Archie’s plan was to tug at her heartstrings so he could bring up that he was the OG hotstuff. Well dang, Archie!

Reggie tries to interrupt but his face already admits defeat. He asks to be taken to the haunted house. The three of them go to the murder house. Betty is not at all spooked, so she wanders further into the house to look for “eleven up.”

Reggie is really the most honorable, because he takes this time to discreetly tell Archie that he’s going to vamoose as he originally proposed. Archie is nice too, telling him he doesn’t have to do that, but Reggie is a man’s man (and a genuine ladies’ man) because cock blocking out of spite is just not something he’s willing to do no matter how enticing the girl. Betty comes back with orange sodas. Archie grants Reggie a good enough exit, by telling Betty that Reggie was tired. Betty, despite her earlier threesome fantasy, doesn’t much care which of the pair she gets. She smiles at Archie.

Veronica so loves giving speeches and hosting events. She looks so happy in her black lipstick, standing in front of four coffins. I still can’t believe that this event is going to go forward in this way. This is so callous it’s kind of funny. Anyway, Veronica is going on about the midnight feature, dropping the fact that Boris Karloff is her godfather.

The music number is from the Rocky Horror Picture Show. Which is very timeline busting. So are we doing like a backwards-reverse Back to the Future thing where instead of a fictional white guy taking credit for a real-life black musical invention from his past ( Rock ‘n’ Roll) we have a fictional Latina woman taking credit for a real-life musical written by a white man in her future? The twisty turny of all this is also breaking my brain because the singing in the actual movie of the real musical (Rocky Horror Picture Show) was very very imperfect except for Tim Curry and Meatloaf, and intentionally so. The singing in the musical numbers of Riverdale also have this same trait - it’s intentionally imperfect except when Josie and Kevin were singing. The overall technical quality of the singing is better than in that musical film (Susan Sarandon can barely sing, which places the Cheryl, Betty, Veronica and Archie actors in a higher competence category). But for some reason (oh fine, because I love Rocky Horror Picture Show) this marmoreal smoothness of the singing by everyone involved is very very horrifying to me. I’m getting literal shivers of distress. There’s just too much camp happening. When it meets the airbrushed camp of Riverdale, the rough-around-the-edges camp of Rocky Horror evaporates, leaving only raunchiness. Riverdale has highly sexual teens, and always has, but at the same time it gets very coy with how it describes sex, sexuality and sexual activity, so I was a bit startled at Clay belting out “orgasmic rush of lust” like that.

Kevin calling for “mommy” when we’ve never seen her but has caused him to be, well, how he is by calling him fat one time because he actually was and he never got over it, is a lot. But then they pan away as he sings “what’s this? Let’s see” as he starts to look at his own crotch I REALLY WANT TO KNOW what the choreo was implied to be. Did he look into the contents of his own crotch pouch? Why is the audience reacting like that??

Cheryl then comes out with the most on the nose bit. She scream-sings: I feel released/ Bad times deceased - and so on. Cheryl has ballet training, and again the technical competence which doesn’t at all cover up the extremely clunky nature of the steps she’s being made to do is horrifying. At the end of her number, she pulls Toni close to kiss her in front of everybody.

We cut to Veronica doing Frank’n’Furter which is a bit like Nicole Kidman being made to sing Diamonds Are a Girl’s Best Friend. There are certain songs that can never be sung by anyone other than that one singer, and “Don’t Dream It” is really one of those songs. The topsy turvy un-doing and re-doing continues, because for a woman (and a very cis, very pretty one at that) wanting to be “dressed just the same” as Fay Wray has zero subversive energy compared to Tim Curry as the transsexual alien doing it, so there’s a neutralizing of the power of that song. In order to make up for it, they put Veronica in a Marlene Dietrich tuxedo-for-girls from Morocco (where Dietrich sings a floor show and then kisses a girl on the mouth in front of everyone to general delight and applause). It’s not fair to pit Veronica’s Riverdalian version of this song (and the screechy belting they make her do given the key choices) against the true blue one by Tim Curry, but it must be said: There’s nothing sensual about the way Veronica is saying things like “give yourself over to absolute pleasure.” Everything she’s doing - the volume of the singing, the thinness of the voice, the effortful meaninglessness of the choreography - is the opposite of giving yourself over to anything.

Into all this, Alice, looking like a bomb has hit her, enters the theater. She reacts with horror. I don’t know if the horror is supposed to be about the nature of the song she’s hearing or it’s from being turned on by Clay dancing gayly in just his shorts. Kevin articulates her shellshocked reaction with yet more exactly on the nose misappropriation of the lyrics (“It’s beyond me/ Help me Mommy”).

All the extra give the hardworking main cast of Riverdale a standing ovation.

Elsewhere, Reggie is walking home all lonesome along the deserted road when very ominously, Julian and two others in death masks stop beside him. Julian says that Reggie should “join the fun unless you’ve got something better to do” because he is “going across the bridge to Greendale to raise some hell.”

OOOH HE SAID THE FORBIDDEN H- WORD!! Was - was the strange word choices in Raising Cain and Wilding and all that leading up to this moment?

Reggie isn’t going to make it with Betty today, so he hops into the car of destruction.

At the haunted house, Archie finally makes a move to Betty, telling her he wants to kiss her. She says she feels exactly the same way. Unfortunately, they are cockblocked by a milkman who peers in on them. Betty is smart - she isn’t afraid of no ghosts, but a real-life white guy being creepy is very good reason to run the heck away.

After the event, Clay and Kevin are cleaning up like the good theater people they are. Veronica wants to do a weekly midnight event at the theater that is “Fun and Campy.” We are being extraordinarily on the nose today. Anyway, the gays are worried about Veronica’s homelessness after parental abandonment, leading to her having to live in the movie theater. Veronica lies about all of it (“everything’s peachy”) because she can’t stand sympathy or pity from others.

At the Diner, Midge and Fangs have told Cheryl and Toni their big secret (her “honeybun” in the oven). Midge then remarks on the fact that Cheryl and Toni have effectively come out to all the teenagers who were there at the Babylonium. Toni is so glad that they’ve all put away their masks.

I don’t know how loud they were speaking or if Evelyn just has superhuman hearing capacity, but she is there at the diner (somehow? why? how? isn’t she supposed to be hosting the sleepover? Is she there to pick up a midnight snack??)

Archie and Betty are safely back at home. They tell each other that they had the “best” time ever. Now, they are cockblocked by Alice, who takes out her distress at finding Clay very hot by yelling at her daughter in front of the whole neighborhood.

With a quiet moment to herself, Veronica lights a votive candle to… Rudolph Valentino. Why is he on the altar with her grandmother? Where’s Boris Karloff?? There’s a Jughead amount of candles lit in her small living area she’s made in the movie theater. Veronica sleeps with a photo of herself with her parents. Oh the poor baby. She’s very upset.

Jughead has walked Ethel to Rayberry’s apartment. Jughead is not wearing any sort of headgear - no crown, no jokey hat. I - I feel like he’s en déshabillé. Unable to resist the hair,

Ethel invites him in, using a tone of voice that sets all my shipping urges tingling. Except -oh poor Ethel. This is the universe - THIS IS IT! - the one where she could totally have a thing with Jughead, but there’s Tabitha! Tabitha the Real is out there saving all of the multiverse and Tabitha of this world is out there on the bus tour against racism. No dice. Jughead says he’s tired and that he needs to feed the dog. Sigh. Ethel totally reacts like this is a rejection of her invitation to an assignation, but she’s nice about it. But come on Jughead, live a little! (Sorry, Tabitha, but Ethel was here - in my heart - first.)

As soon as Ethel enters the Rayberry apartment, dun dun dun, that weird guy in the milkman outfit is totally in there waiting for her.

Jughead is walking out when he gets accosted by that very plot-important lady obsessed with forcing her neighbors to make a milk donation to her cat. She says, “Oh I thought you were the milkman” because she heard the bottles again. There’s both a Dutch Angle AND dolly zoom happening as Jughead puts it all together, before rushing back to the Rayberry former residence shouting for Ethel.

Jughead breaks down the door! He falls faceforward into the apartment, only to make direct eye contact with the corpse on the floor. “Jeepers” he says and - seriously, truly, this was wonderful line delivery. I mean it.

Ethel is having HER MOMENT. She’s so super tall to begin with, so she looks totally magnificent, holding a bloody knife, standing victorious over the dead milkman, as she passionately tells Jughead, “I told everyone it was a milkman!” Jughead looks so scared.

Archie is woken up in the middle of the night by Uncle Frank, who seems very upset. He says a carful of Bulldogs went over the bridge into the River. Archie stares upset at Reggie’s very empty bed.

If they made Reggie die in the racist’s car I will be pitching a FIT.

#too many thoughts about Riverdale #Riverdale episode 128 #riverdale 7.11 #riverdale s7 recap #riverdale s7 #riverdale episode recap

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