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shoezuki · 3 years

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Can I ask you what happened in the "dear technoblade... (an open letter)" video? I legit can’t watch it but I’m curious on what it was about/said?

Yea no worries! This may be a kinda Scuffed summary cuz its been a bit. But i wanted a Blank no thoughts or feelings summary n went back thru it a Bit. So heres an Attempted Synopsis of a Letter to Technoblade:

The op starts by saying theyre a fan, that they enjoy his content, that techno has said things in the past which have made people uncomfortable.

Continues that the video isnt an attempt to 'cancel' him, but is to make things right with the people hurt. Also says that much of the minecraft community 'trust that [he's] changed as a person since then', but acknowledging his past remarks is a means of 'proving that to us'.

Immediately after op plugs their channel saying somethin like 'i dont need subscribers, but im a youtuber'. Also to share the vid, like n comment to 'get it in the algorithm'. Not to put my own Thoughts in that but thats jus tasteless n weird as fuck askin for subs on a supposedly 'serious' video

First brings up older tweets: 'again, i'm aware that youve probably changed as a person since these tweets were made, but im also aware of my friends who are jewish, lesbians, or black who are hurt by these tweets and were hurt by jokes like these before.'

First tweet:

Op says that they understand absurdist humour. But there is a Connection between hitler and lesbians in that lesbians was a group targeted by nazi germany for their sexual orientation (they say it more. Like. Specifically but i wont cuz its too Harsh in my mouth)

'Comparing hitler to lesbians contributes to demonizing lesbians and making light of the struggles of jewish people'

Other tweets noted, saying that it makes light of the horrors commited by nazis

Notes they dont think hes a 'flaming nazi or antisemite' but such jokes makes it easier for such ppl to get away w this and 'normalizes the idea that the holocaust wasnt that bad'

'Even if you werent aware of the impacts of those jokes back then and you know better now, addressing these outright and apologizing to the jewish people that youve hurt would help make things right'

The next tweets mentioned are here. Potentional context like the tweet he replied to arent given or mentioned

'I understand that jokes like that were considered normal during that period of time... but that doesnt mean they were okay back then, or that they shouldnt be addressed now'

Next: shows more recent clips; first one is from tommy's perspective when they were trying to take tubbo 'hostage' and have him work in pogtopia with antfrost. Tommy spells slave wrong, spelling slav. Techno says 'a russian?... you spelled SLAV'. tommy spells it as 'slave' then the clip ends

Next clip; taken from 'skyblock: the great potato war.' Its short and only shows techno saying 'if skyblock has taught me anything, its that if you have a problem, the answer is slavory.'

Op continues to say that these may be jokes not intended to be taken seriously, but that 'joking about this... as a white person, comes eith a whole set of problems given the historical context of slavory in the united states.'

In regards to the skyblock clip: 'techno, you know better than this! ... given that white people were the ones who genuinely viewed the answers to their problems as slavory hundreds of years ago, and that you are white, its really unsettling to hear you joke about this'

They say it minimizes the impact slavory has had and treats it like a joke

Last clip: taken from a skeppy video titled 'when skeppy, technoblade, and badboyhalo get in a call...' with techno saying 'what i was thinking like, horrific racism aside, think about how powerful it must be to be an asian right now...' then making up a scenario where an asian person is getting bullied and protends to be sick to get them to leave.

Note: i am not sure the time of that video/clip, but i think i recall it from last march so a year ago

Op continues after to say 'i understand that you were joking, i do not care if that was your intent... jokes like these have undoubtedly contributed to the rise in hate crimes against asian americans' and that it can lead to people blaming asians for the pandemic

They talk about hate crimes that Have happened within america and how asian businesses have suffered hugely

Also specifically goes into detail about the atlanta shooting

Explains that they Obviously dont think techno is Responsible for every single hate crime against asian americans, but they 'being up these hate crimes to try and point out their connections to jokes like yours'

They say again that 'although this video will get called 'spreading hate' or cancel culture', they dont want to minimize the weight of racial microaggressions to 'twitter stans being out of control'

They end the video saying its them 'reaching out on behalf of all the people hurt by these jokes' and that he should acknowledge these things which hurt people

#antisemitism #racism #pdp #discourse #lesbophobia #ask to tag #anon #hope this reads ok i ended up spending WAY TOO LONG on if gsksbsgsksdb

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funkyrabbit · 4 years

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youtube

Just gonna go ahead and put out a message regarding this video, because I’m so sick and tired of hearing about this so called “controversy” it stirred up.

If you are one of those people who are complaining that Arthur is spreading “BLM propaganda” or “indoctrinating children” by spreading an anti-racist message, then I have news for you.

YOU. ARE. A. RACIST.

I also want to say it’s disgusting that you are putting so much hate on a harmless kids show like Arthur, who tackles so many issues like cancer or death that most other kids shows wouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole. And you’re also calling to defund PBS over this? I LITERALLY CANNOT.

Legit some of the comments I have read in reaction to this video, I can’t make this shit up:

“This is not the Arthur I grew up with!” (AND I SAY HEY. WHAT A WONDERFUL KIND OF DAY, WHERE YOU CAN LEARN TO WORK AND PLAY. AND GET ALONG WITH EACH OTHER)

“PBS should be defunded because Arthur features oujia boards, lesbians and gay marriage and propaganda to support the false belief that systematic racism is prevalent in the US!!” (LEGIT a real Tweet that I read, I could not stop laughing at how fucking stupid it sounds. I’m sorry, I’m not going to take someone who thinks kids’ shows should be cancelled because they feature fucking OUJIA BOARDS in some episodes seriously in this argument 😂).

So to those of you racists who believe there is anything wrong with what this video is saying, I sincerely hope you learn to become a better person. You know, the proportion of likes to dislikes on this video are just evidence that this is a very real problem and this video was necessary.

Again, to anyone who says this doesn’t fall in line with the Arthur they “know and love” I quote the theme song:

“Open up your eyes Open up your ears Get together And make things better By working together”

It isn’t valid at all to bash this video on the grounds that it proves Arthur is somehow not embracing the same messages it did back in the day. Promoting diversity and acceptance is exactly what Arthur is all about. It’s one of the show’s core messages.

The message this video spreads is simple: judging people based entirely on the color of their skin is wrong and awful and you need to speak up about it. Thank you again, Arthur, for taking a stand and showing your support for the BLM movement. Thank you for taking a stand against bigotry and hate. It’s when the show does courageous things like this that make me appreciate it more and more.

Also, to anyone who is not in support of this video (which makes you a racist!) - UNFOLLOW ME. I don’t want you on my blog! Thanks!

#arthur pbs #arthur read #pbs kids #black lives matter #blm #the outrageous reaction to this video just makes my blood boil #i stand in support of arthur #as i always have #it doesn't deserve to get all this hate

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neworleansspecial · 3 years

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Summary: An instagram post Marjan makes is interpreted as a coming out post. This was not her intention.

WC: 1.6k | AO3

Warnings: Internalized Homophobia

This is quite possibly the worst outcome Marjan can think of. She posted the roller derby photos because her feed has been quite dead since the whole “cancelling of firefox” thing that happened. It’s something non-controversial, and she loves to show off her brilliant team mates in the way that she assumes most people feel about their friends. She wants the world to see these talented, confident, beautiful women the way she sees them. Marjan spent a few minutes meticulously tagging each member of the team in the photos she posted, lining up each black bar with the correct face. She figures it’s a good appreciation of these women.

What happens instead of her friends being showered in compliments is speculation Marjan could have never, ever predicted. She knows that many of her fans are gay, particularly gay young women. Young lesbians. It’s a fact that she keeps in the back of her mind for no reason at all other than to just know it. This majority, however, make themselves known in the aftermath of the photos being posted.

Marjan reads a comment that simply states, “ONE OF US! ONE OF US! ONE OF US!” followed by a bunch of heart emojis and wonders what it means. One of what? She scrolls through the thousands of comments on her post and tries to make sense of them when she realizes the error she’s made.

The team photo on the first slide was when they all went to pride together, since most of the members of the roller derby team are LGBT+ and wanted to go as a group. Marjan went as an ally, but failed to clarify this point when she posted it. The thought smacks her in the face.

People think this post was her coming out.

And it’s too late to take it back, but Marjan deletes the post the moment she connects the dots. Her first thought is for her family, who follow her on instagram. Her mother. Her siblings. They likely already saw. Marjan can just imagine the horror in her mother’s voice over the phone, asking Marjan if it’s true. One of her little sisters is still in high school, she could get bullied if anyone thinks that she might be related to a gay person. It’s going to be a disaster.

“Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit!”

“Marjan?”

She looks up to see Mateo peeking into the bunk room. He looks concerned.

“Cap sent me to get you for dinner. Are you okay?”

“It’s nothing,” she lies, quickly putting her phone into her pocket. “Paul cooked, right? So it should be pretty good.”

Mateo easily moves on from his first question, chatting about the salad he helped make to go with dinner, and Marjan is able to just nod along to his words without really paying attention or responding. She’s in so much trouble. The last time she checked, there’s already a handful of articles about her photo. People know. It’s only a matter of time before everyone she’s ever met to know about the alleged coming out. Just thinking about it has Marjan’s eyes stinging with tears.

By the time she sits down in her seat at the table, she can feel all their eyes on her. Being calm and collected is kind of her thing, and she feels so unbearably seen right now, in ways she’s never wanted to be. They all wait for her to speak, but once they realize she’s not going to on her own, Paul reaches across the table to take one of her hands.

“Marjan, what’s wrong? We’re all here for you.”

She glances around at them. They could dismiss her in disgust easily. But she knows TK is gay, and everyone seems okay with it. At the very least, she knows TK won’t let them say anything too bad about the situation.

“I posted some roller derby photos, on instagram. Um, one of them was from pride.”

Mateo’s face lights up. “That was such a cool day! It was my first time going to pride, since I wasn’t, like, out before. I can see why you’d wanna post those photos.”

“People think it was a coming out post.” She glances around the table to see neutral faces. “They think I’m gay.”

At that, TK stabs his fork particularly hard into his dinner and shoots a look at her. “And what’s wrong with being gay, Marj?”

His words get Mateo’s attention, honing in on the hurt and the concept that Marjan could be something less than accepting. Mateo’s self-discovery of bisexuality is recent, recent enough that he’s still rather insecure in his open identity. She doesn’t want him to think she cares about this sort of thing, even if she kind of does. But only when it’s her. Other people can be gay, or bi, but she knows it’s not something that’s allowed to her. Her family would be devastated.

“Is there something wrong?” Mateo asks.

Marjan rushes to say no as Judd lowers his head and folds his hands like he’s praying.

“It’s not that, it’s just… I…”

“Are you?” Paul asks.

Everyone’s attention snaps to him, and then to Marjan. She can almost feel the blood drain from her face as they all turn with the same look on their face, the same question. It’s all a given what they’re asking. What they want to know. She can’t handle their rejection for this.

“Marjan,” he says gently, “it’s okay if you’re LGBT. You know that us, of all people, are going to love and support and defend you no matter what.”

Marjan stands up from the table, her chair scooting back loudly. “I need some air.”

She all but runs to the stairs, hopping down each step to get to the doors on the first floor to the cool outside air. It’s a relief against her suddenly flushed cheeks. She knows she can’t be gay. It’s not allowed. She had a fiancé for most of her life. It was always a given that she’d marry a man, one of her family’s choosing, without much of her say in the matter. Of course she could veto someone, or say they weren’t right for her, but the fact is that her husband was always going to be chosen for her. There’s been no room, no time, for her to consider any other romantic pursuits, especially with a woman.

For the very first time, Marjan allows herself to think about that. About women, and the possibility of being in a romantic relationship with a woman. In her mind’s eye, the woman is generic. Dark hair, big eyes, soft skin. There’s no face, just the imagined feeling of curves under her hands, perhaps the softness of a breast pressed to her palm. Thinking about this for the very first time as a possibility overwhelms her with its suddenness. She feels especially guilty when the imagined woman begins to take the shape of one of her friends. This isn’t right. This is perverse, an intrusion, worse than peeping.

She feels sick to her stomach as she sinks to sit against the wall. This isn’t okay. She should’ve never posted that picture, and then people wouldn’t be saying these things about her. If they never said those things, she wouldn’t be having the most upsetting realization of her life right now either.

Marjan isn��t sure how long she’s sitting out on the asphalt before Paul comes out and joins her, taking a seat at her side. His warm shoulder meets hers in a silent comfort for nearly five full minutes before he speaks.

“I was already an adult when I realized,” he says to her. “I didn’t ‘always know,’ at least not in my conscious mind. It wasn’t until I was already out in the world as a firefighter that I truly realized who I was, and that was really scary. I had a long road ahead of me, with a lot of self-discovery, and I had a lot of people to tell. I was terrified.”

“How did you know?” Marjan asks. “That you really are trans?”

Paul sighs. “I didn’t. I questioned it a lot when I was first beginning my transition. For some people, they just know, and they have for a long time, but I was both certain that I was a man and worried that I was doing it for attention. It was hard. I went to therapy for a long time, to understand myself and to help me do what was best for myself. I had a lot of internalized transphobia to work through. On top of that, I had thought I was a lesbian for a long time before I realized I wasn’t, so I kind of understand what you might be going through. Questioning your gender and your sexuality are really similar in a lot of ways, but incredibly different in others. Regardless of your journey, Marjan, whether you’re straight or not, it’s going to take a lot of reflection. All of us here at the 126 have your back. If you need to listen, or talk, or just be distracted, we’re all here for you. We love you, Marj. I love you. And if you need anything, I’m here.”

She leans into his side and he puts an arm around her for the closest approximation of a hug they can manage while sitting side-by-side on the ground. Marjan knows she has a long path ahead of her of understanding her sexuality, and not just in terms of orientation. What she wants in a relationship and how to have one are things she doesn’t really understand yet, and that’s something she’s going to have to confront to move forward in her life. She’s scared of what it means for her future. She’s scared of what her family will think. She’s scared of what the world will think. But as she sits beside Paul, it is clear that there are people who are going to support her no matter what.

With that, she may be able to learn this about herself.

#marjan marwani #911 lone star #911ls #paul strickland #tk strand #mateo chavez #911 lone star fic #usercj #userjillian #tuserjamie #emwrite

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aragima · 4 years

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hannibal questions! 🍖🔪

@nietzscheantrout @horrorlesbians and @hanniba1 wanted me to answer these hannibal questions and i wrote too much but oh well! thanks to all 3 of you ilu!!!

favorite episode and why: oh we’re just goin straight to the hard questions huh um OKAY so i think i can only do an ep a season - s1: SORBET SUPREMACY! you get to see the exact moment will looks at hannibal and thinks “.........shit. it’s him isn’t it. he’s The One. SHIT.” and that is so important to me - s2: this one is really hard maybe naka-choko? it’s so fucking gay and sexy. but tome-wan... but mizumono............ yeah idk - s3: torn between digestivo and the wrath of the lamb cuz they both hurt SOOO good much; i love will breaking up with hannibal and hannibal manipulating the situation so will can’t leave asldkjansk it’s so toxic we have to stan..... and for twotl i mean do i really have to give a reason every scene LIVES in my mind and it contains my favorite shot in the whole show:

that is LOVE baby! that is DESIRE! that is being ENTHRALLED!!!!

least favorite episode and why: i feel like they’re all so necessary that it’s kind of impossible to say but probably antipasto. i get sick of hannibal and bedelia’s shenanigans really quickly and as much as i hate to admit it... i miss will. i also think it was an extremely weak season opener and i blame it for getting the show canceled sjshshsgsg the resentment...

favorite side character: chiyoh or jimmy or actually wait— RANDALL TIER 🖤

if you could bring back one character who died, who would it be?: RANDALL FUCKING TIER. i want there to be a weird thing with him and hannibal and will going on. but also i love what his death did for will so idfk, other than him it’s gotta be beverly

dish prepared in the show that you would like to try eating/making: i was supposed to make hannibal’s osso bucco recipe like 3 weeks ago but it completely slipped my mind so i guess i’ll get on that my next grocery trip

which side character would you kill off?: chilton just because for god’s sake just let the man DIE ALREADY poor guy <- i’m taking ava’s answer because YEAH

was there any scene that you didn’t like to look at?: nah. the skin ripping scenes at the beginning of either kaiseki or sakizuki (idk i don’t remember, i hardly watch s2a) are particularly brutal but i tough it out

biggest ship: i mean do i even have to say

why did you start watching hannibal?: my wife, who was my girlfriend at the time, and her dad were watching it as it was airing and i was like “oh cool hannibal lecter origin story” but due to inconsistent access to the episodes i would just watch it randomly and that is... not the way to watch hannibal. i gave up around the end of s2 but knew hannigram was It regardless. i decided to watch s3 for the first time earlier this year just to have finished it and was like HOLD UP and did an immediate rewatch that left me... well, how i am now

favorite hannibal fic if you’ve read any?:

oh boy. yall ready for this? all of these can be found on ao3 obviously (i’m so sorry this is so long but i guess i’ve been asked to put together a fic rec anyway)

as soft, as wide as air by blackknightsatellite, the ladders series by emungere, blackbird by emungere, consenting to dream series by emungere, taken for rubies by emungere, at first meeting by emungere, protect me from what i want by @alienfuckeronmain, god of the cold, cold wars by highermagic, the abyss smiled back by highermagic, pomegranate seeds by highermagic, absolute zero by highermagic, in the truly gruesome do we trust by sidnihoudini, TKO by sidnihoudini, oh dear by lunarwench, each according to its kind by chapparral_crown, a flood in our hearts by nanoochka, let me sinful be by darlingred, uncomplicated by stratumgermanitivum & youaremydesign, good bones by @damnslippyplanet, like they do in babylon by @damnslippyplanet, your obedient servant by kareliasweet, past our satellites by shotgunsinlace, only the tender meat by isagel, the shape of me will always be you by missdisoriental, a white-walled room by rodabonor, spleen et idéal by rodabonor, the paper doll series by rodabonor, a common point of interest by rodabonor [i do NOT like a/b/o stuff but if i did... it’s this fic], just thought you should know by earthsickwithoutyou, the sacrificial lamb by princesskay, transcendent suffering by itsbeautiful, not something polite by moistdrippings, leave your message after the tone by onewhositswithturtles, holes in the floor of the mind by feverdreamblood, crossing caina by feverdreamblood, the archipelago series by melusine10, but seas between us braid hae roar’d by kareliasweet

have you watched any of the hannibal films?: yeah all of them except manhunter! i grew up watching silence of the lambs because my mom loved it and i went thru a big edward norton phase as a teen so i’ve seen red dragon like 10 times

have you read the thomas harris books?: no and i’m not going to lmao #fakefan

favorite murder tableau: if we’re talking just hannibal’s- the judge. if we’re talking Murder Bad But Kinda Pretty like in general probably the mushroom people or the totem

favorite blood spill: will imagining hannibal while he beats randall to death or The Gutting of Will Graham

what’re some of your headcanons?: - will is good at shibari (backed up in canon: his fishing knots, the firefly man’s full body hishi karada harness) - hannibal rarely listens to modern, non-classical music but he’s a björk fan and he saw one of her chapel performances during the vespertine era and was Moved - will listens to classic rock (zeppelin, the doors, pink floyd) with some classic country (patsy, merle, johnny) and blues (billie, muddy, bessie) thrown in. he’s also a sucker for early/mid-90s college rock/alternative/grunge - will plays the piano (because of the piano in his living room) and the harmonica (because he’s country white trash); he’s kind of shit tho - hannibal fell for will somewhere between “my thoughts are often not tasty” and “you won’t like me when i’m psychoanalyzed” (love at first sight! at last sight! at ever and ever sight!!!) - will’s circumcised, hannibal isn’t 🤪 - hannibal’s a gemini!!!! adaptable, creative, intelligent, outgoing, impulsive, etc - will’s an aquarius!!!!! analytical, a loner, temperamental, unique, compassionate, etc - will’s mom was jewish go read my fic about it https://archiveofourown.org/works/26774326 - hannibal is an agender man (tbh i think of this as canon, it’s just unstated/undefined) - hannibal can speak russian, spanish, and a teensy bit of portuguese in addition to the other languages we know he speaks (lithuanian, english, french, italian, japanese) - will speaks limited amounts of french; he learned it as a kid in louisiana - ED TW will sometimes has a Difficult relationship with food due to food instability by the way of poverty as a kid and goes through periods where it’s hard to keep himself fed, but hannibal is so good for him in that way because he keeps him from going hungry 😓 (yes this is me projecting but also it makes SENSE) - hannibal typically bottoms but THEY DEFINITELY ARE BOTH VERS and will never stops being surprised by how much he loves catching a dick. every time is like religious experience. okay? okay - they’re also both very kinky and switches but tbh.... will was made to Dom hannibal like that’s the reason he exists he could drag that old bitch around by a leash and hannibal would be in heaven HANNIBAL WOULD CALL HIM SIR - the first time they have sex hannibal comes like immediately but he isn’t embarrassed because he’s hannibal fucking lecter and hannibal lecter doesn’t get embarrassed - i have a hc for their favorite sex positions but i’m not gonna put that here because i don’t want yall calling me crazy any more than you probably already do but if you wanna know just DM me all i do is think about them fucking it’s a curse - okay no more dirty stuff abigail called hannibal “dad” on more than one occasion and it was half-joking but it also felt comfortable to her; she never thought to call will “dad” because he’s a weirdo and never knew her as much as he knew his idea of her - hannibal taught her to play piano at the cliff house - beverly is pansexual!!! - brian and jimmy kissed one time when they were drunk and they NEVER talk about it EVER - chiyoh is straight probably. i know, i know, everyone says she’s a lesbian and if she’s a lesbian to you that’s awesome! she’s a lesbian! but idk i just think she’s SO fucking straight and tbh i mourn bc that’s my wife. she could MAYBE be bicurious... - chiyoh is non-monogamous and doesn’t do serious relationships, she doesn’t like the idea of being tied to one person ever since she left the lecter castle - she helped hannibal and will escape after The Fall; she told hannibal she would continue to watch over him and i think she did, she got them a boat and got them the fuck out of there - MOLLY IS DOING SO MUCH BETTER WITHOUT WILL. SHE’S SO GLAD SHE GOT OUT OF THAT WHEN SHE DID. she has a good, long talk with alana and finds out all the shit about him and hannibal that will never told her (and it was a lot), gets drunk and burns all his shit, and then washes her hands of the whole thing; moves to a different state, gets a girlfriend, and never thinks about will again

okay i’m capping it there or i’m never gonna stop!! i’m not tagging anyone cuz i think everyone has done this by now lmao but if you’re a mutual who hasn’t and you want to just do it and say i tagged you!! mwah!!!!

#blood #long post #hannigram fic rec #hc

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medea10 · 4 years

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Medea’s Worst Year of All-Time Anime/Game Superlative

Nobody saw this year coming…except for maybe Barbara Walters! Who could have predicted that this year would bless us with Australia burning, the entire west coast of the U.S. set on fire, stupid people setting fires because they wanted to reveal a baby’s gender, murder hornets, Ruth Bader Ginsburg dying, an almost war with Iran, serial killer mascots arrested, policemen killing unarmed black folks for having a counterfit $20, policemen killing unarmed black folks for breaking up a fight, policemen killing black folks for holding sandwiches, policemen killing unarmed black folks for fucking sleeping, a wide variety of “Karens” coming out of the woodworks, the end of Bojack, the end of Steven Universe, the end of Empire, and a pandemic so huge it’s killed the economy, canceled fun, and given the U.S. president the dumb-fuck idea of injecting bleach to kill the virus!?

SERIOUSLY, WHO COULD HAVE PREDICTED ALL OF THIS WAS GOING TO FALL IN OUR LAPS LIKE HOT COFFEE ON THE CROTCH?!

At least there was anime this year.

…

At least there was SOME anime this year.

…

Biden won the election and Vickeblanca came out with Black Catcher this year.

Hey internet, it’s Medea here to give you her trashy opinion on this years anime and games that she’s watched or played. Because for some reason, my loser-ass loves to do out-dated as fuck memes! I shouldn’t complain, this shit brings a lot of attention to my page every year when I do this. Yes, 2020 was a complete dumpster fire so large that Domestic Girlfriend is crying foul. Many of us had to go on lockdown and ended up binge-watching the entire 957+ episodes of One Piece. I did no such thing. I am one of those “essential workers” so I didn’t hunker down for 9 months straight. But when I was home, I was watching anime. Actually, I would have done that even without the pandemic. I’m an introvert and find the human race to be deplorable.

You all know how this goes. I go over the best this year had to offer me. I had to search really hard to find the good in this year, especially in the anime world. Many things had to be put on hiatus or were delayed to a later date. Just a reminder, I don’t discriminate in what year the anime or game came out. If something came out in the happier times of 2007, that anime or game counts! Let’s get at it!

First Fandom of 2020: Interspecies Reviewers

Did anyone expect a fan-favorite of 2020 was going to be a hentai? Did anyone have on their batshit 2020 bingo card that a hentai was going to grab everybody’s attention? At the beginning of the year, my mind was set on the Railgun sequel and Eizoken. It wasn’t until licensors, streaming sites, and TV stations in Japan dropped this series that I started to pay attention. And got immediately hooked! It’s about three men going to different brothels and reviewing their time with the ladies. And these ladies are of different species! So with every bang comes possible enlightenment, new kinks, or a night of having your dick sucked off more than humanly possible. This anime blew away all of my skepticism and first impressions right out the window. Maybe it’s because I’m a degenerate and am often curious about sexual content, but this was a guilty pleasure of mine this year.

Favorite Main Character of 2020: Moroha from Yashahime

I know the majority of this story is going to revolve around Towa and Setsuna, but can we please focus a little more energy on the spunky, quarter-demon girl?! I know they’re pitting Moroha as the comic relief, but I’m hopeful that she’s going to surprise us one day. We fans of InuYasha would spend the past decade and some change wondering what InuYasha and Kagome’s daughter would be like. This year, we got our answer with Moroha. She’s got this wild side to her, probably due to the fact that she’s spent her entire life on her own. And while she’s silly at times, she can get down to business in a pinch. She has her father’s sense of smell. She has a sword. She’s able to shoot sacred arrows much like her mother. And to top it all off, she has this special rouge that if she puts it on, she’s able to unleash that ¼ demon power inside her and become Beniyasha! Yeah, I know the power only lasts a minute, she’s only 14, give her a break! I will gladly go through another week scratching my head at the confusion this story gives me if I get to see one more second of Moroha and her crazy antics or her bad-ass slaying.

Favorite Villain of 2020: The Devil Believers from Black Clover

This was one hell of a year for Black Clover. It would have been an easy choice to pick the devil and possible super devil that appeared during the elf fight. But I’d like to give a nod to the filler arc villains. And you can’t blame this group for wanting the power of the devil. They’re literally the bottom-rung of the Clover Kingdom and ones with little to no power or mana. So I can agree with why they would want the power of the devil. For one thing, they’d have more power. And for another thing, they’d be able to exact revenge on those who have wronged them. On some occasions I agree with exacting revenge and when it comes to the nobles and some characters in Black Clover, some folks do deserve death. I mean, have you met the king of the Clover Kingdom? Plus, this town and many other poorer towns get looked over by the kingdom. Peasant uprise! Anyways, I thought these people were really crafty in their crimes. I mean, they were able to knock Asta out on his ass with specially made poisons. I was actually hooked to this story of Black Clover (despite it being a filler arc). I know we’ll never see them again as they have been exiled, but it did have me semi-rooting for them.

Favorite Video Game Character of 2020: Honey from Pokemon – Sword & Shield (Expansion Pass)

Sorry Raymond from Animal Crossing!

Honey is the saucy wife of Mustard…I did not expect that to come out the way it did, but here we are! She has one hell of a team you can fight once a day. She looks out for her husband, the dojo, and the students of the dojo like they were her own children by providing food, drinks, and others. However that does come at a price as you do have to give up a sizable chunk of your watts that you collect in raid dens. I’m sure a bunch of MILF chasers were more than happy enough to give her all their hard-earned watts just so they can have their one-on-one moment on the beach with Honey.

What won me over was when that one guy from a rival dojo bad-mouthed her husband’s dojo and she…I think she kicked this guy’s ass herself. I don’t think she used any of her pokemon. Game Freak won’t show it, but we all know she kicked this guy’s ass to a point where he’s begging for mercy.

Honey, for the win!

Favorite Game of 2020: Animal Crossing New Horizons

This game was just Zen for me. I know the release of this game came with some controversy like Gamestop saying it’s an essential business and will remain open for people to get their copies of the game. Hell, I was one of those assholes in line waiting to get a copy on March 20th. Did I predict that a pandemic was going to rage out of control when I got a prepay copy of this for Christmas 2019? NO! I only predict political things, not deadly pandemics! The good news, we social distanced, didn’t catch the covid and got the game.

Anyways, this game has been a non-stop calming and fun ride. I can even forgive their botch-up of Bunny Day. They even have events for holidays I never thought they would ever touch. I mean, does anybody know when Museum Day is? Probably not until Animal Crossing had an event for it! I’ve been able to let my freak-flag fly with designing my island. And this goes way beyond New Leaf for the 3DS. I can make a sign post with the words “Fuck Trump” on it and post it in my yard. I can dig up trees and plant them elsewhere. I can poop in a toilet. I can craft furniture and put my own design on it. My furniture can have Tracey Sketchit’s beautiful mug on it. I can sit on Tracey Sketchit’s face. I am a sick fuck and I don’t care. I can give Raymond and Bob maid outfits. Magical time in my game! My hopes for next year…I don’t know, get the Festivale furniture, get Papi and Olivia to join my island, maybe visit Danny Trejo’s island, who knows, sky’s da limit!

Favorite Het Couple of 2020: Nasa and Tsukasa Yuzaki from Tonikawa

This is one of the most unorthodox marriages I’ve ever seen. But in this 90 Day Fiance world we’re living in, I shouldn’t pass judgement on these two getting married in episode one and not knowing much about each other. Nasa meets Tsukasa as he was about to be plowed by a truck. Tsukasa saves his life. Nasa says she’s beautiful. Tsukasa says she’ll be his girlfriend if they get married. He agrees. She disappears. Four years later, Tsukasa appears in front of Nasa’s front door with a marriage registration form. Congratulations buddy, you’ve got yourself a waifu! In some way, this felt like watching Yamato and Takeo from My Love Story. I was fascinated with them progressing through their relationship. The only difference is that Yamato and Takeo took the old-fashioned route. This couple did everything ass-backwards in terms of having a relationship. But I couldn’t take my eyes off Nasa and Tsukasa’s relationship during each episode. I find them cute.

Favorite Yuri Couple of 2020: Karin Asaka x Emma Verde from Love Live Nijigasaki High School Idol Club

AAAAAAAAAH! I’M IN IDOL HELL AGAIN! Yeah, no kidding! I came this close to putting Miu x Nicole from that abomination 22/7. But thank God for Love Live! There’s no telling if any of the girls from the Love Live franchise are confirmed to be lesbians. But fuck it, all of them attend all-girl schools, no males exist anywhere, and Sunshine gave us Kanan x Mari! Yeah, you know Kanan and Mari is canon as fuck, don’t at me. So naturally, I found more third-years to ship in the new Love Live series. Now I know I should have put up Ai x Rina or Ayumu x Yuu. Especially the latter due to recent events! But Emma x Karin is my OTP.

Now Emma is an exchange student from Switzerland and in coming to Nijigasaki, she first meets Karin and they became instant friends. When Emma said she wants to become an idol, Karin helped her quite a bit. Even though Karin had no interest in being an idol as her modeling career is starting up, Karin would occasionally help Emma out. And surprise, surprise, Karin ends up fascinated with the idol world and Emma helps her come to the light to be herself there. Okay, I’m totally reading this in some fragmented way, but I’m currently playing Love Live School Idol Festival All Stars and the app game has a lot more stuff involving stuff the anime has yet to talk about. Confirmed or not, Karin x Emma for the win!

Favorite Yaoi Couple of 2020: Eiji Okumura x Ash Lynx from Banana Fish

It took me a while to get here, but I finally made it to 2018’s overlooked gem. Forgive me for not being fully caught up, but from what I’m watching at the moment, I’m sticking to my guns and supporting the hell out of this. I mean, I could have mentioned The Titan’s Bride here…but fuck no, I ain’t goin’ down that mess! Ash has gone through a lot, I mean a helluva lot in his past. His cute boy looks have made him a target on the streets of New York, with mafia dons, and with prison inmates. But dude can kill if you mess with him. Then you have Eiji, who is just a literal example of a “pure cinnamon roll (until episode 8)”. These two are as opposite as you can possibly get. Ash is from New York and Eiji is from Japan. Ash likes hot dogs with everything on it. Eiji likes grilled fish and natto. Ash spent the majority of his life killing on the streets. Eiji was a track superstar. You get my meaning. But when we got these two together it’s quite adorable. Ash is really able to change when he’s around Eiji. Ash isn’t some heartless killer on the street about to kill a thug with prosthetic fingers. When he’s with Eiji, he’s a joker that can easily get scared of pumpkins. And even in later episodes, you got these two acting like a husband and wife.

Fandom That You Didn’t Expect to Get Into: Les Miserables – A Girl Named Cosette

Let me explain a little something. Les Mis! I have never seen the play, watched the movie, or read the novel prior to picking up this anime. Not a single one of those! And that’s a bit of a head-scratcher when you realize I was a bit of a musical theater nut in my teenage years. But one thing I do like is when Japan does an anime based on plays or historical events (like Romeo x Juliet or Rose of Versailles). The second I popped in Les Miserables the anime, I wanted to binge watch the whole 52 episode series. It is by no means a perfect adaptation of the Victor Hugo novel. Several key players end up surviving all the way up to the end of the story! But because this was my very first viewing of anything Les Mis, I took to the story of Cosette and was eager to see what was going to happen next in her tale. Unlike the movies and play, Cosette was the main focus of the story besides Jean Valjean and Javert. And thanks to watching the unfortunate stories of Cosette, Jean Valjean, the Thenadiers, Javert, Marius, and the rest, I thought it was time to watch the OTHER adaptations to Les Mis.

…

Russell Crowe sucks.

Fandom That Made An Unexpected Comeback: Higurashi no Naku Koro Ni

Higurashi or When They Cry is one of my favorite fandoms of all time! So naturally when we heard that it was making a comeback, I was excited. It was also very odd that Higurashi was given this sequel or reboot. Ahem! There’s another franchise that needs a face-lift. Umineko still deserves a better treatment. Plus, now that this series was out of the faulty hands of Studio Deen, Higurashi will get the special care it deserves. Believe it or not, it wasn’t just the anime that made a comeback for me, but the manga as well. Since 2009, I’ve read several volumes (out of order) and would every now and then come back to read the story. Back to the anime, this reboot or sequel…you know what, I’m gonna call it a “rebooqual”! This rebooqual sucked me back to the town of Hinamizawa and all the murders. Every week, I find myself comparing the current episode to one from the 2006 version. But then the fourth episode of each arc seems to catch me off guard.

Where are they going with this story and these twist endings to our favorite arcs? I did not expect Rena to turn a simple attempted murder into the end of School Days! I didn’t expect Rika to die in the most disgusting fashion they could think of. Could someone kill Teppei fucking Hojo? I will pay ¥5000 for someone to do that job. So yeah, because I know how much of this plays out and who does what, I’m usually watching and reading while making wise-ass remarks. But I still have fun with it.

Fandom That Inspired the Most Crack: Konosuba

In a year where I caught up with the popular Isekais like Shield Hero and Re:Zero, I found the wacky misadventures of Kazuma Satou to be amusing as all get-out. From the first 5 minutes, I found myself laughing at Kazuma’s misfortune. Seriously, how the fuck do you mistake a tractor for a car, have a heart attack, piss yourself, and fucking die in the first couple minutes to the series? You can only get away with this shit in gag animes! But it’s not just Kazuma’s dumbass, there’s a mage who only does explosions, but loses all her energy after one blow-up. Then there’s a busty, blonde who gets turned on by getting hurt and can’t strike anything with her sword. Anime’s biggest masochist or Cheryl Tunt incarnate, I haven’t decided which one to believe! Then you have this loud, crazy goddess chick named Aqua. She’s also useless about 86% of the time! Watching their unfortunate missions is all the crack that I need to get through this year. Seriously, Darkness is just all kinds of fucked up, but we love her.

Last Fandom of 2020: Yashahime

That’s right, the InuYasha sequel gets top spot here! Even though week after week I find myself asking more questions than when the episode started, I’m still hooked. If you’re like me, you watched and fell in love with the series InuYasha. So if they’re doing a sequel, you’re expecting to see all of your favorite characters from the prequel like InuYasha, Kagome, Miroku, Sango, Sesshomaru, Koga, Rin, and the rest. Actually, no! Quite the opposite! We’ve got Sesshomaru’s daughters, but no Sesshomaru. Rin is sleeping in a tree we think! We’ve got InuYasha and Kagome’s daughter, but they’re M.I.A. None of the girls even know a thing about their birth parents.

Now are these new characters a catch like the ones from the previous series? Some are! The three main girls, yes! Especially Moroha! I’ve already praised her name earlier in the superlative. Towa and Setsuna do take on some personality traits from their parents. Setsuna is definitely serious like Sesshomaru and Towa sometimes has a carefree yet loyal aura to her like Rin. I know I’m always skeptical when a series gives us a sequel featuring the offspring of the main characters. Especially when you’ve got some lame examples like Boruto and Eureka Seven AO (I might retract my diss on Boruto later)! As each week gives us a new episode, we’re unraveling new clues into a lot of things involving our old favorite characters, as well as the new ones. So I have high hopes for Yashahime for the time being!

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mollymauk-teafleak · 4 years

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we can make it right

My wonderful girlfriend’s other anniversary present! We get two because she’s the best and most wonderful and deserves everything @spiky-lesbian

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Ben tries to help Juno find himself again after a tough few years.

tw: mentions of abusive relationships, its Juno post Diamond so I think you know what to expect

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“He’s not doing good, is he?”

Most of the time, Benzaiten found his boyfriend’s tendency to point out the obvious endearing and adorable. But sometimes, like now, it reminded him of things he’d rather not think about. It was hard enough to see the dark circles under his brother’s eyes and the way he’d pick listlessly at his food when he’d come down and eat with them at all, the hours he spent in bed but not sleeping, how he’d made no efforts towards finding himself another job. It was hard enough to lie to Rita every time she called to check up on him and ask how the lady she still insisted on calling Boss was doing.

It was hard enough knowing his brother was hurting badly and that he couldn’t do anything about it, without Mick pointing it out.

But it wasn’t his fault and Ben let go of the resentment quickly, setting down his glass and sighing, “No. He really isn’t.”

Mick reached across the table, over the remains of their dinner and took his hand. He rarely knew what to say at times like this but he knew Ben thought his touch, his quiet presence and his willingness to listen more than enough.

“I mean, I’m trying, babe,” Ben’s voice trembled, “God knows I’m trying but every time I talk to him, every time I try and get any kind of emotion out of him, it’s like he can’t hear me.”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you…”

“No,” Ben shook his head quickly, wiping at the tears that sprung alarmingly quickly to his eyes with the hand not in Mick’s, “You didn’t. I mean, he’s been living here, what, a month? I can’t just keep hoping this will magically be enough and not talking about it. I need to do something but...”

“She hurt him bad, honey,” Mick said hesitantly, “He’s probably just scared to let anyone else in.”

Ben dropped his hand, looking across at his boyfriend, heartbreak in his eyes as he whispered, “Even me?”

Mick grimaced, “Well...I mean, not that it was his fault, but he was pushing us away for a long time before it fell apart. Remember how bad it got?”

The wine on his tongue suddenly turned sour as Ben grimaced. He did remember, better than he wanted to. He remembered how it had started small, with cancelled plans and standing him up for coffees he’d promised to have with his brother. There had always been apologies and excuses, the academy was just kicking his ass, he just had so much paperwork to do, he just needed a little time to find his feet and get his head above water. Ben had nodded and said he understood, all while privately wondering why Juno seemed to have time to go to all these parties and clubs, kinds he’d never expressed an interest in before, but didn’t have the time to see his own twin for lunch.

Whenever Ben would offer help, would express worry that maybe he was working too hard, that was when the conversation would turn terse. Juno didn’t need his help. Ben had his hands full with Ma, didn’t he? Ben had risen to those, he knew he had, never able to let Juno get away with smartass comments unchallenged. They’d stopped having conversations that didn’t end in shouting matches, even if they’d meekly apologise over their comms the next morning and promise to try again.

But eventually, it had blown up completely one night when he’d gone to Juno’s new place, unannounced and sick of being blown off all the time, intending to force his brother into a night off with him. Juno had gotten in his face and the words had slipped out, the words Ben had known were coming.

Ben had his chance to help. He’d had his chance to go with Juno and he’d chosen Sarah instead.

Blinded by furious, helpless tears, Ben hadn’t realised until later that there had been another person in Juno’s room.

It had spiralled quickly after that. Juno wouldn’t answer his calls any more, not even after he moved out of Ma’s house and in with Mick. He had to hear it from Sasha, from Rita, that Juno was falling apart. He’d had to watch his brother’s self destruction from the sidelines.

It wasn’t until the night of the wedding that didn’t happen that Ben found any hope. It didn’t give him any pleasure at all to watch them break his brother’s heart but at least it was over. That night, they’d drank, they’d let everything go in one mad, alcohol fuelled release of years worth of tension, they’d ridden at breakneck speed through the desert on the back of Mick’s bike, the wind had caught the hem of Juno’s wedding dress and billowed it out behind him as he’d laughed and cried and Ben remembered thinking how beautiful his brother looked.

He remembered thinking that he finally had his other half back.

But now there was only this. Juno haunting their spare room, jobless and withdrawing, heartbroken and depressed, walls around him a mile thick. Even if Ben could find a way through, would he want him to?

“Even if he was yelling at me and punching my teeth out again, it would be better than this,” Ben mumbled, feeling his lower lip tremble.

“But maybe that’s it,” Mick frowned as he tried to put the words together, “Jay did that when all you were trying to do was get him out of that awful relationship and help him. Even if he didn’t know it at the time, he knows it now. And...I mean, it wasn’t the guy’s fault, of course it wasn’t, but...it was kind of shitty?”

Ben sniffled, “So...what do you mean?”

“I mean I think he feels guilty,” Mick shrugged, “He wants to let you in and let you help but he knows how badly he fucked it up last time. He’s scared of getting hurt but I think he’s scared of hurting you too. So if you want to help him...maybe show him you forgive him first?”

Ben’s jaw fell open a little and he stared at his boyfriend in awe for a long moment before jumping to his feet, circling round their cramped dinner table and pulling him in by the face for a long, deep kiss.

“You, Bartholomew Mercury,” he declared once he’d pulled away, “are one of the smartest men on Mars.”

Instantly, his boyfriend’s ears turned scarlet and he was grinning madly as Ben kissed him one last time before hurrying up to the spare room Juno had taken when he’d moved in.

The door was shut of course but when Ben rapped on it, there was only a few seconds pause before he heard his brother answer, “Yeah?”

“Can I come in, Super Steel?”

“I told you, Ben, I’m not hungry,” the voice sounded heavy and tired, so unlike his brother used to, “I’ll get something later, promise.”

“It’s not that,” Ben answered, “I just want to talk to you. Can I come in?”

There was a longer pause this time but eventually the answer came, “Sure.”

Before they’d offered it to Juno while he got back on his feet, they’d just thrown all the junk they didn’t want to deal with into this room. Which mostly meant Ben’s dance clothes, all the costumes from shows he’d been in right from when they were in high school and he’d been sewing them himself. All that had been listlessly pushed to one side, even if it did take up the majority of the space still. Not that Juno had unpacked his tiny suitcase of stuff rescued from Diamond’s place yet.

As he’d expected, Juno was just stretched out on the camp bed, still in the sweatpants and oversized shirt of Mick’s he’d been wearing for way too long now. He’d made the effort to sit up but from the way his curls were flattened on one side and his eyes were dry and shadowed, he’d just been staring at the wall before Ben had knocked on the door. He was hollow cheeked and ashy skinned, still a slight tremor in his hands like he was perpetually cold though there was a perfectly good comforter kicked away onto the floor.

But Ben didn’t let any of the worry show on his face, he just smiled and took a seat at the foot of the rickety fold out bed, making it creak alarmingly.

“So?” Juno asked tiredly.

“I wanted to tell you about this thing that happened to me today,” Ben said brightly, folding his legs up under himself, “So we were warming up at the studio and we switch the music every so often, just so we don’t get bored, y’know?”

“Uh huh,” Juno intoned flatly, eyes fading, but Ben persisted.

“And this time it was one of those real old Earth classics like Ma used to love, some of that old school hip hop funk. Here, I’ll play it for you!”

“Ben, you don’t have to do that…” Juno started but it was too late.

Ben yanked his comms out of his pocket and tapped quickly, eventually a rhythmic piano opening pouring out of the speaker in the corner. Good as Hell by Lizzo, they’d played it a thousand times before and he saw the recognition on Juno’s face.

“And it reminded me of when you and me would be going out to some party in high school and we’d always wait so we could get ready together,” Ben raised his voice over the singer’s now.

Maybe he was just imagining it, maybe he was just seeing what he wanted to see, but Ben could have sworn there was a flicker of some expression in Juno’s eyes, a kind of softness. He pressed on excitedly.

“Remember? You’d do my make up real killer and I’d help you pick out something you could still dance in and do your hair...and we’d always end up dancing. Even if we were wearing something so ridiculous or we looked like clowns, I’d grab your hands and pull you up and you’d call me an asshole but we’d still be smiling. We’d put this song on because it was your favourite and we’d just spin around until we fell over or I’d show you how to jive and you wouldn’t even be half bad!”

A chuckle. An honest to god chuckle, even if it was rough and uncertain. Ben’s face split into a grin, he knew then that Juno was seeing the same things he was, the memories he was reanimating with his words and the music.

“I always looked forward to getting ready with you, way more than any party…remember how much fun we had, Juno?”

His brother sighed, face softening, “Yeah. I remember, Benten.”

Feeling more sure about this than he had about anything for a while, Ben stuck his hand out, reaching across the space between them, reaching for his twin. For a second, Juno looked uncertain, afraid, his eyes flickering to Ben’s anxiously. But when he saw them shining, crinkling at the corners like they always did when he smiled wide enough to ache, something in him opened up.

He found the strength from somewhere and reached out to take his brother’s hand.

It was awkward and hesitant at first, Juno stiffly swaying from one foot to the other, kind of on the beat. Ben just shrugged, not about to make him run before he could walk, happily bouncing around him like an excited puppy, popping his shoulders and kicking out with abandon. Slowly, surely, he heard Juno start to laugh and saw him shaking his head helplessly, felt him loosen up bit by bit. It was like whatever energy and brightness Ben had was flowing into Juno, warming up frozen joints and restarting a dormant heart.

By the time the bridge kicked in, with all it’s heavy drum beats, the two of them were mirroring each other, both stomping and clapping and grinning hard enough to shake the floor. Ben ran to the boxes of old costumes, ripping them open and pulling out feather boas, glitter vests, sequin headbands, throwing them at his brother. Juno cackled, pulling on everything he was given, yanking a few onto Ben as well until they were both equally as haphazardly bedazzled. They let the song play again and again, melting into itself in a loop they’d happily let go on forever, time not mattering one jot as the twins bounced and vogued and grinded their way around the tight space, laughing until their chests held the same ache.

And for the length of a sparkling piano line and thumping drum beat, everything was alright again.

Eventually, the back of Juno’s knees hit the camp bed and he fell onto it, panting raggedly and shaking his head in defeat, “God, Ben, I’m gonna pass out…”

Reluctant to have it end but recognising the moment was done, Ben turned the song off and sank down next to his brother, now pressed up against one another.

In the silence afterwards, Juno’s face settled a little back into place, the same sadness and tiredness edging into his expression. But this time he leaned against Benten, letting his head fall onto his brother’s shoulder, even if it meant he had to spit and sputter away a mouthful of purple synthetic feathers.

“Listen, Ben…” Juno sighed, sounding tired again but in a good, cleaner way, “I...I’m really glad you’re here.”

Ben smiled, finding Juno’s hand and squeezing it, “And I’m glad you’re here. So we’re even, Super Steel.”

That wasn’t the end of it, of course. Years of hurt and distance weren’t going to be fixed by a song and some memories. But the next time Juno felt himself sinking into a place he didn’t want to be, he reached out to Ben, knocking on his and Mick’s door in the middle of the night and not pulling away when Ben reached out and wrapped his arms around him.

He would be sad again. They’d get angry at each other again. They’d hurt each other sometimes.

But they both knew how to get back to each other.

#steel twins #benzaiten steel #benmick #juno steel #mick mercury #tw: abusive relationship #hurt/comfort #love me some good sibling relationships #please reblog and comment!!#its on ao3 too

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homosociallyyours · 4 years

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@velvet-impala tagged me to answer this long set of questions, and bc I love this sort of thing I’m DOING IT! I’ll tag folks here just in case you don’t want to read thru this whole dang thing. But I wanna say: if you want to do this, PLEASE DO IT and tag me so I can see-- I *love* reading responses to stuff like this. But @la-paritalienne @disgruntledkittenface @and-id-marry-larry @calmrry @crinkle-eyed-boo @lightwoodsmagic -- y’all are tagged :)

1. Do you prefer writing with a black pen or blue pen? black, but what matters most is how smoothly it writes.

2. Would you prefer to live in the country or city? walkable neighborhood in a city. 3. If you could learn a new skill what would it be? would love to learn how to hack into billionaire bank accounts without getting caught so i could redistribute their wealth to a variety of mutual aid funds. :) 4. Do you drink your tea/coffee with sugar? no, just milk! unless it’s really shitty/bitter coffee, and then i will take it with a couple sugars or sweetened creamer.

5. What was your favourite book as a child? probably the Anne of Green Gables books 6. Do you prefer baths or showers? showers! i wanna love a bath, but i get bored too fast and i never feel comfortable (where do i put my head? my feet? what do i do when my belly isn’t covered by the water and it gets cold?) so they’re meh.

7. If you could be a mythical creature, which one would it be? dryad! i wanna be a tree spirit!

8. Paper or electronic books? paper, i guess. but i do love reading fic electronically, so..

9. What is your favourite item of clothing? used to be my work hoodie. but now i would say this blue striped button down i have OR this one black dress i have with 3/4 sleeves that’s really soft and comfy.

10. Do you like your name or would you like to change it? i always meant to start going by Dottie when I got older, but it hasn’t happened yet so it probably won’t by now? but i would never change my name generally speaking.

more after the cut!

11. Who is a mentor to you? i had a co-worker who was really a mentor for me since i got into being a cheesemonger in 2008. he’s been in the industry for a long time and basically recruited me to the job i have/had here. but when i got sick he basically dropped me/hasn’t spoken to me in a long time. let me tell you: it fucking sucks. bc a mentor is a cross between a friend and a colleague and a relative; we jokingly called him my lesbian uncle. and so losing him from my life so completely over something like this is deeply shitty.

12. Would you like to be famous and if so, what for? not now, but before i was sick i would’ve said yes. BUT only bc i think i would be a great Saturday Night Live host (not a cast member! just a one time host with a monologue/skits). So whatever level of fame i needed to get that..

13. Are you a restless sleeper? I have really bad insomnia that means i take at least an hour to fall asleep most nights. Once I’m out, I usually sleep ok, but i do have intense dreams/nightmares that wake me up sometimes.

14. Do you consider yourself a romantic person? yeah :/

15. Which element best represents you? earth: the wet dirt and leaves in a forest after rain in particular

16. Who do you want to be closer to? emotionally i’m pretty good i think. physically i wish i could be closer to friends and family in NYC, Seattle area, TN/Atlanta, and Germany

17. Do you miss someone at the moment? the people referenced above. also missing my Grandmomma a lot lately and my mom.

18. Tell us about an early childhood memory. art lessons with my grandmomma. her set of pastels that were all worn down and the heavy paper (black) that she pulled out to work on. she drew a quick portrait of a man, showing me how to create depth in skin tones with blue and green against the softer flesh tones. she didn’t blend it out, the marks all painterly and strong-- her style. i was 10, maybe? 12? so not *early* but it feels like forever ago.

19. What is the strangest thing you have eaten? i have no idea? i’ve eaten a lot of weirdish cheeses. i’ve had geoduck?

20. What are you most thankful for? the amazing friends i’ve gathered into my life along the way, my dad, and my baby dog.

21. Do you like spicy food? yes, within reason (i don’t get stuff that’s spicy just for the heck of it, like ghost pepper chips or whatever? but when spice is integrated in with other flavors i love it)

22. Have you ever met someone famous? i used to make up stories about meeting famous people that were based on partial truths. i’ve hung out with or met a lot of gay famous people. but the biggest person who comes to mind is Sandra Bernhard. I sold her cheese. 23. Do you do you keep a diary or journal? i have over the years. now i sometimes write things down in a paper journal, but mostly go to a really old blogging site where i basically put all my big feelings down in a public but sorta private spot.

24. Do you prefer to use a pen or a pencil? depends on my mood.

25. What is your star sign? taurus sun and moon, gemini rising

26. Do you like your cereal soggy or crunchy? in between...not HARD crunchy, but not soft soggy.

27. What would you want your legacy to be? would like people to remember that i loved them well and made them feel good/happy when i was around them. and hopefully that it made them feel like being good to others too.

28. Do you like reading, what was the last book you read? i do, but i’m mostly reading fic these days. i think the thing i read last was Pink Like the Paradise Found, which was FANTASTIC!

29. How do you show someone you love them? i tell them, shower them with physical affection, and do little things for them. also try to remember small details about what they enjoy and then do stuff to make them feel good when they’re down

30. Do you like ice in your drinks? yes, but not too much

31. What are you afraid of? sometimes being along but only when it’s very dark out and i’m in the sads. honestly-- this is some deep internalized ableism but here it is --i’m very afraid of never getting better and not being able to take care of myself or anyone else.

32. What is your favourite scent? jasmine flowers, pu-er tea, the specific scents of people i love

33. Do you address older people by their name or surname? however they’re introduced i guess. maybe because i’m an older person lol

34. If money was not a factor, how would you live your life? i would live in the apartment i had alone (with a guest room). i would hire someone from my community to come help me out sometimes. i would get a weekly grocery delivery from the good quality place. i would have a dog walker. and i would fly home to see my family more than once a year and fly my family out for a visit sometimes. so like. probably the way a lot of ppl live? idk.

35. Do you prefer swimming in pools or the ocean? ocean

36. What would you do if you found £50 on the ground? get dinner at the thai restaurant down the street a couple times.

37. Have you ever seen a shooting star? yes, lots!

38. What is the one thing you would want to teach your children? i’m not having kids BUT for the kids in my life, i try to teach them/model the importance of consent and respect for their own bodies as well as other people’s. and i know it said one thing, but alongside that is that i respect and love them for who they are, and that’s something they get to decide.

39. If you had to have a tattoo, what would it be and where would you get it? i want a lot of tattoos, but if i could get one tomorrow it would be a cheese themed tattoo with a variety of cheese knives (parm tools, dutch style knife) and a small cheese assortment. or a portrait of my dog

40. What can you hear now? this kinda dumb netflix show that i decided to binge today even tho it’s only kinda meh and my dog snoring just a little.

41. Where do you feel the safest? when i’m surrounded by friends.

42. What is the one thing you want to overcome/conquer? my stupid money issues prolly

43. Of you could travel back to any era, what would it be? wanna go back to 1977 and live in the girl direction AU i wrote last year, lol.

44. What is your most used emoji? laugh crying emoji or sobbing maybe

45. Describe yourself using one word. colorful

46. What do you regret the most? not sure if this is a thing but i regret not realizing when i got bitten by a tick/got lyme disease the first time, bc maybe i could’ve just taken antibiotics and killed it, and then maybe i wouldn’t be sick?

47. Last movie you saw? watched the new charlie’s angels the other night

48. Last tv show you watched? this dumb show is called sweet magnolias, and it’s. honestly not terrible! it’s just not my style of show. OH WAIT i take it back, they left it on a really shitty cliffhanger without warning, and that is the one way to make me drop your show/fic HARD unless i like. genuinely love you. so byeeee dumb show, hope you get cancelled

49. Invent a word and it’s meaning. saungry: sadness brought on by being hungry, like hangry except oops you’re crying now! example: “fuck i knew i should’ve eaten before calling my best friend, now i miss them and i’m too saungry to figure out what to eat! Guess I’ll have tears for dinner” (almost called it sungry, but the internet thinks that might just mean ‘so hungry’)

did you make it to the end? WOW! devotion. thank you.

#about me #long post #text post #livejournal throwback

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thejilyship · 5 years

Text

No Charge

Alright, so I wrote this fic for jilytober, but it kind of got lost in the flood of amazing fics that everyone puts out at the end of the month, and when I went back and read it, I wasn’t thrilled, so I decided to edit it tonight, because @women-inthe-sequel and I were geeking about fem!james recently and I after I started editing it, I saw even more people talking about fem!james, and I just think that everyone should be talking about it because jily can only be improved by them being lesbians. Obviously.

Anyway: “Bartender!AU where the bartender says ‘we don’t charge pretty girls here’ and is then super embarrassed.”

wc: 2k

ff.net | ao3

Jamie Euphemia Potter sometimes worked at a small pub down by the river. Her friend, Emmeline Vance technically worked there, but sometimes she couldn’t come in to work her shift, because her kid was sick, or her babysitter canceled. James had worked there during her days at uni, and now, since it was off season and she wasn’t traveling to play games, she had offered to cover any shifts that Emmeline needed her too.

She was feeling nostalgic as she wiped down the counters, remembering all the times she’d gotten to throw grown men out on their arses because they were too drunk and had run up their tabs too high. She remembered all the hot wing eating contests between her and Sirius and whoever else wanted to try and out eat them. She remembered her and Remus hustling just about everyone at pool and darts. Her and Peter’s rendition of Somebody to Love had left no one wanting for... well they had all wanted them to stop singing actually.

They had had fun here and she was having fun remembering all of it.

The shifts were easy enough, making all the drink orders came back to her like riding a bike, and some of the regulars remembered her and made friendly conversation, something that made the clock tick by faster.

Enter the redhead.

Lily Jane Evans was new to town. Jamie knew that because her old boss, who was also the other bartender, had talked to Lily the first time she’d come into the bar, and then answered all of Jamie’s questions rather patiently.

Well, he had been patient to a point.

“Just go and talk to her yourself, Jamie.” Benjy said, picking up the cash box to take to the back office. “I only spoke with her for like, five minutes. Not even. She’s friendly, I’m sure she won’t bite your head off. Though I’ll likely to if you don’t shut up soon.”

Jamie huffed. “I can’t just go and talk to her.”

“Actually, it’s your job. Go and get her order and ask her your weird stalker questions directly.”

“Fuck off,” Jamie muttered, causing Benjy to laugh at her before he turned around and walked away. The two of them had always gotten on well.

Jamie looked down at the end of the bar where Lily was sitting. She started chewing on her thumb nail as she watched Lily twirl a stray coaster that someone had left on the counter. Her red hair fell in curls, stopping just below her shoulders. Her eyes were wide, round and a beautiful green. There was a light smattering of freckles over her skin, so light that if you weren’t staring at her as intensely as Jamie was, you probably wouldn’t notice them. Long thick lashes, a slender nose that was slightly turned up at the end, and her lips…

Jamie cleared her throat and forced herself to stop staring at the strangers mouth.

Apparently she wasn’t done staring in general though.

She had a bag with her, it was leaning up against the bottom of the stool that she was sitting on and Jamie could see a laptop peeking out of it, a few notebooks, a very fluffy pink pen and when she looked back up at Lily’s face, she realized that she had been caught staring.

Which wasn’t really a surprise now was it. Jamie still flushed.

Lily’s bright green eyes were looking at her curiously, probably wondering why on earth the bartender was staring at her instead of walking down to get her drink order.

Jamie grabbed a rag and started wiping off the counter in front of her to make it look like she was busy. Then she rearranged some of the glasses before she ambled on down to the far end of the bar. This wasn’t a fantastic tactic since she hadn’t been doing anything when Lily had first looked up at her. The look on Lily’s face let her know that it had been a shite plan.

“Evening,” She said, rubbing her palms together before she rested them flat against the bar top and leaned forward, not sure if she was showcasing any particular asset or just going with a pose that would show off whatever Lily might want to look at. If she wanted to look at anything. She might be here to meet a boyfriend or she might think Jamie had been rude instead of stupid. “What can I get you?”

Lily pursed her lips slightly, lips that had been painted a candy pink color, like starbursts. The pink ones were Jamie’s favorite.

“You seem awfully busy. I don’t want to bother you.” Lily looked down the empty bar and Jamie’s heart gave a leap. Not because she was being called out though, but because this girl came to play.

“I always appear to be the busiest when I get caught staring at the customers.” She shrugged a shoulder and pulled the rag down again, wiping down the counter in front of Lily now. “I can always take a break from appearing busy though, to get your order.”

“Right,” Jamie couldn’t tell if Lily was trying to hide a smile because she looked down for a moment and when she looked back up, she just looked as though she were considering her. “Can I have a vodka tonic.”

“Sure thing,” She nodded and walked down the bar again to make the drink.

It was only a moment before she was standing in front of Lily again, sliding the drink across the bar to her. “So you’re new to the area?” She asked, running a hand through her short, messy hair, not realizing that she perhaps shouldn’t know this about Lily seeing as how Lily hadn’t told her.

“And what makes you think that?”

“Never seen you around before,” She tried, shrugging a shoulder. “Also that’s what my boss told me.”

“Gossiping about the customers?”

“Only the really cute ones.” Lily laughed and picked up her drink, taking a quick swig that downed half the alcohol. Jamie wished that she could take a shot or two just then. Calm her nerves a bit.

“Right. But yes, I am new to the area. I moved here two weeks ago for a teaching job.”

“Oh? What year are you teaching?”

“Uni.” Lily corrected. “I’m teaching a uni course on calculus.”

“That sounds dreadful.” Jamie’s forehead crinkled as a hoard of number clouded her brain. And the answer did not match the fluffy pink pen that she’d spotted in Lily’s bag. Or the pink lip gloss. Calculus professors were supposed to be stern and monotonous and old. At least that’s what they had been in Jamie’s experience.

“Well if I want the universities funding, I’m required to teach a course. It was that or teach a gen ed lecture. And I have no desire to talk for two hours straight to a classroom of two hundred scholarship athletes not listening to me.”

“I was a scholarship athlete, so I know what you mean. Some of us are terrible.” Jamie nodded sympathetically and this earned her a laugh. Jamie stood up a bit straighter. “But is calculus really better than that?”

“Numbers come easy to me.” Lily shrugged. “And if you’re taking a calculus class, you’re probably going to try at least a little bit. I can work with that.”

“What is your research about then?” Jamie was leaning on the bar now.

“Oh, well, it’s not just my research. I have a partner. We’re studying the metabolic structures of plants to see if they can be altered or replicated synthetically to repair damage to living tissue on the human body.”

Jamie blinked at her for a moment trying to digest something that sounded as though it had come straight from a science fiction novel. “You want to make plant band aides?”

Lily laughed. “Basically. But bandages that don’t come off. Band aids that become a part of you and work just like the rest of your body.”

“That sounds like some science fiction shit.” James shook her head. “And cool as hell.”

Lily bit her bottom lip and smiled. “Yeah, it is cool as hell.” They smiled at one another for a moment longer than was friendly and then Lily looked down. She swirled her drink and then took a sip. “What do I owe you for this?” She asked, reaching down for her bag.

Jamie shook her head. “Oh no, we don’t charge pretty girls here.” And It was only slightly more than what she’d said earlier, but she still felt the flush creep up her neck.

“That’s absurd.” Lily grinned, though she sat back up, leaving her bag where it was.

“It’s the truth.” Jamie held up her right hand.

“You just get to drink here for free whenever you want then?”

It took her a minute to register and then fully appreciate what Lily had said, but when she did, she started laughing as she reached for a napkin and pulled the pen she carried out from behind her ear. “I like you, Lily Evans.” She started scrawling out her number on the napkin. “And no, that discount only works when I’m the one on this side of the bar, unfortunately.”

“Well that’s probably best. Otherwise it’d be pretty hard to keep the place stocked.”

Jamie quirked a brow, “Are you implying that you think I have a drinking problem?”

Lily laughed and Jamie clicked her pen and stuck it back behind her ear. “No, only that a lot of pretty girls would start hanging around here if-” Lily stopped midsentence as Jamie slide the folded napkin across the bar, stopping it right beside Lily’s drink. She unfolded it and then grinned before looking up at Jamie. Her eyes bright and shinning. “And to think, I almost didn’t come in here.”

Jamie ran her hand through her hair and that flush ran up her neck again. “How tragic that would have been.”

Lily opened her mouth to say something, but Benjy was done playing it cool apparently. “Oi! Potter! I don’t pay you to stand around a flirt!”

Jamie clicked her tongue and spun around to face her boss. “Actually, you do! It’s half of my job!” Lily laughed and Jamie quickly turned back to catch a glimpse of her smile.

“Go and clean the tables in the poolhall or I’ll sack you right now.” He went back into the office and Jamie shook her head.

“He threatens to sack me at least once a shift. And the real kicker is that I don’t even work here really. I’m just covering for a friend.” She shrugged but then reluctantly picked up the rag. “Though I should probably go and do as he says anyway.”

“Probably.” Lily took another drink and then inspected her glass. “You know, I’ll probably be in need of another drink by the time you get back.”

Jamie winked at her, “I’ll be back in a flash.”

“Not too quickly, I’m not trying to get drunk tonight.” Lily called after her.

“Perhaps you need to order some food in a few minutes then.” Jamie turned, walking backward as she talked to Lily now. “Stick around a while and give me the chance to ask you out.”

“I get your number and a date?”

“Yes, I might be jumping the gun, but you’re the one who keep smiling at me like that.” Lily’s smile only got wider at that and so Jamie spun back around and rushed off to clean some tables.

And just like that, Jamie was pretty sure that she was going to be thanking Emmeline for asking her to cover this particular shift, for the rest of her life.

#fel writes #jily #jily au #fem!james #bartender au

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kob131 · 4 years

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https://xenodweeb.tumblr.com/post/625501428616675328/whelp-you-cant-shame-me-for-trying-but-youd

Whelp, you can’t shame me for trying, but you’d rather continue doubling down on bitching about people being mean about your precious abusive company and licking Mile’s boots on your high horse while defending incest ships and pushing someone to contemplate suicide over criticizing a character death in a cartoon and then claim there’s nothing wrong enough about that to change.

https://twitter.com/KOB13x/status/1278244097732550656

So how about this time, you DON'T overwork the creator and fuck them over?

Cool so you’re just being a shittier version of me then?

You know, considering that your points against me are ‘fake suicide attempt’ and ‘incest ship’ while mine was ‘fundamental disrespect for people’s way of life’ and ‘blatant hypocrisy.’

Kob, You’ll never be better than me because I don’t literally claim I regret what I did one post and then dismiss what I did the next and I tried to back off and try to seek for some level of actual humanity within you, something you clearly don’t have while you decided to go “U-Uh, yeah, but you did the same thing in the past so it’s cool when I do it to u.” (Nice doubling down with that homophobia BTW)

Quote: “ All without remorse, something I showed by stopping when it happened. (Even as the parent thread shows- I never tried to get them to kill themselves.)”

Showed. I rerated it back then but now i honestly I do not care because it doesn’t fucking matter as you showed.

BTW That wasn’t a ‘you did too!’ thing. It was a ‘Clearly you being bisexual means nothing here’. Also nice job saying that I’ll never be better than you the literally dehumanize me. Also also- You called a lesbian a psycho for not being perfect. I literally chose that example because I knew you were gonna pull that card so great job implying you’re a homophobe considering your statement was far more offensive.

I don’t fucking use shit from years ago against them as sick gotchas, then get mad because people are joking about how you’re basically “cancelling” them while also playing the victim when the same is done to you.

Except you literally responded to me with that. ( Didn’t you push someone to attempting suicide because they were critical of Pyrrha’s death? / #I GOT NOTICED BY THE PEDOPHILLIC SHIP APOLOGIST / #MISTER 'IT'S EPHEBOPHILIA ACTUALLY )

Ps, what the fuck is this bullshit

You DO disparage people for their political beliefs, you do it all the fucking time with RWDE, don’t lie you gaslighting sack of shit.

Disparage. Noun. ‘regard or represent as being of little worth’. I have never disparaged anyone for their political beliefs or even the blatant lying you pull. I never say you are worthless or inherently worse for those. Maybe your ACTIONS, which are separate from political beliefs, but not your beliefs.

If you don’t want to be called a bigot, don’t preach about how we should just give people who disagree with our political beliefs huggie wuggies because we don’t want to hurt the fee fees of people who still believe viruses that have killed hundreds of thousands is considered a hoax, see masks that help against said virus are oppressive, claim free health care is still considered communism in certain countries and/or continue to whiteknight for the police despite constant fucking acts of vile police brutality, you parasite fuck.

Not pictured: anything to do with bigotry.

Pictured: Disparaging people for their political beliefs.

Also pictured: Assuming shit about me.

Just as I am fine with people not wearing masks as a choice, I’m fine with businesses and companies denying people for not wearing masks. I respect their freedom.

I never said to respect people who believe the Coronavirus is a hoax. Very different from portraying them as inferior people though.

My issue with free health care is that politicians lie about it a fuckton and America is fundamentally against something like free health care due to our focus on individualism while a free health care system on average would hold everyone countable for the health of others.

And I haven’t whiteknighted the police. In fact, in the Eric Garner case, i publicly say that the police fucked up. (https://kob131.tumblr.com/post/620292630957473792/what-were-your-thoughts-on-the-eric-garner-case)

So congrats on that.

Just admit you want to pretend marginalized people don’t exist so they can’t threaten your “Centrist” safe space and go back to beating off to Ruby being fucked by her uncle and harrassing people who diss your shitty internet anime and rot, you literal piece of shit.

You say as I openly uphold that race, sexuality and gender don’t fucking matter. You know this because the post you’re screenshotting from has me outright state the similarities between us (our mental condition, race and gender) is superficial.

You say as I have publicly exploded on Nazis.

You say as I gag at incest hentai and manga.

You say as you openly do WORSE than what i did to JSWV so clearly you don’t think it’s harassment.

Then again, even after my friends have been suicide baited, my reputation dragged through the mud (at least two of my followers thought I was a Nazi before actually talking to me), I have been suicide baited despite openly saying I was suicidal, being told I’m a shit person in every conceivable way- I still don’t pull this shit. So way to go proving what I said before.

Also your a nazi for sympathizing with literal nazis over the marginalised, fuck you.

You say as my one interaction with a Nazi was to effectively tell them to fuck themselves with a white hot dildo and the point you are referring to (That Hitler was a normal person like anyone else so people should watch out) only works if I think Nazis are BAD.

Then again, you’re a coward who knew they couldn’t respond to the post in full and couldn’t let people see the full thing so you blocked me and took screenshots to refer to two points and then lie throughout the rest.

Just like I said- You do not understand me in the slightest. Nor are we alike in any meaningful capacity. Even the fact that you blocked me is proof of that, considering I am adamant in not blocking people or even turning off Anon despite the shit I get because of it.

You weren’t looking for humanity or anything like that, as my post repeatedly showed you failing to connect to m. You were trying to avoid the fact that you fucked yourself into a corner and changed the subject to salvage yourself. Evident by the fact that the stuff that shows how NOT alike we are was cut for your post.

Get it through your thick skull- We are not alike. You are, however, alike to the delusion you have of me.

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curlytemple · 4 years

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niche interests list

okay sure yes this is fun! i havent posted a thing like this in such a long time. thank you new gal pal @scottspack for tagging me!

pigs????

alright first lets throw it back to preschool! my fav childhood toys were my baby doll (snookums) and a plush pig that my grandma got me that i just called ‘pig’ ...i watched the babe movies countless times, and piglet? that anxious little guy GETS ME bro. when my preschool did a nativity play and my class got to choose an animal to be in baby jesus’ manger, my mother recalls me saying that i would be a pig because jewish people (jesus christ) wouldnt eat me. she has no idea how or when i learned about kosher foods. ironically despite my namesake i was too afraid of the movie charlotte’s web to watch it more than once because the scary farmer tries to kill wilbur for being small and the pretty spider dies.

sugar creek gang

OKAY this is a book series from the 40s-70s about a group of christian little boys in indiana who went on adventures in the woods and helped people. my dad read a LOT of chapter books to me as bedtime stories when i was little (see also the mandie series, nancy drew and the hardy boys, little house on the prairie) but sugar creek gang is one that really hit. i read all 36 books with dad and at least once again on my own. there was a series of 4 or 5 movies in the early 2000s when i was the Perfect age to have a crush on most if not all of them. this might be too much detail but i have to tell you about these boys. we WILL not be revisiting the heavy religious themes.

the narrator is bill who is Good and Kind and wants to be a doctor when he grows up. his best friend is a chubby boy nicknamed poetry because he memorizes and quotes poems, he is the Detective of the group. BIG JIM is the leader of the group who is supposed to be like, 14, which was very cool and hot, to me. and yes there is a little jim, who is the baby of the group. then there is CIRCUS who is known for his climbing and acrobatics, and his FIVE SISTERS AND BEAUTIFUL SINGING VOICE. dreamboy. i’m almost done listing boys, i promise. a boy called dragonfly who is allergic to everything and hella superstitious. later in the series a new boy named tom moves to town and tom has an older brother bob who is NOT A CHRISTIAN (bully)

tangentially, the buttercream gang, a movie from 1992 that was almost definitely made by some christians who grew up reading the sugar creek gang series which i’m guessing on vibes alone. will spare you Good Boy details but scott is in love with his best friend pete who moves to chicago and falls in with a bad crowd and scott just refuses to stop LOVING HIM. very gay christian film in retrospect.

peter pan

so i know liking disney’s peter pan isnt niche, but it was the way i liked it. tinker bell stan from day one, i watched all of those disney fairies movies, even the ones that came out after i was definitely not intended audience. there was an online pixie hollow game where you could design your own fairies and play mini games where you gathered dew drops or something. had a HUGE CRUSH on jeremy sumpter in peter pan (2003) then i got really darkly obsessed with the idea of growing up when i was 12 or 13, and everything peter pan was deeply My Shit for my entire adolescence. i read the original book and every other twisted version of the story i could find and seriously freaked myself out about wasting my youth.

shug

you’ve probably heard of jenny han now, or at least the netflix adaptations for to all the boys i’ve loved before and the sequel ps i still love you (always and forever, lara jean, coming soon?) but before she wrote THOSE, she wrote my first ever Favorite Book, about annemarie “shug” wilcox, a girl in the summer before starting middle school. it is SO engraved on my heart i cannot explain. i felt so incredibly understood and cant even tell you how many times i read it. thinking about all of the ways it made me feel SEEN is actually making me very tender so i’m gonna go on.

the summer series

on the subject of jenny han, since she was now my Favorite author, when she came out with the summer i turned pretty in 2009, i was ALL IN. it’s not summer without you, and we’ll always have summer were published the next two years. a coming of age series about a girl isabel “belly” conklin who stays at her mother’s best friend's house at the beach in the summers. i really could talk about it forever yall. i actually dont know how to be succinct about it. i will try. her mom’s friend has TWO BOYS. one brother, jeremiah, is the golden boy and her best friend who is in love with her! the older one CONRAD is her childhood crush who's just sort of around while belly is firmly getting over her childish feelings and going out and experiencing teen beach life with jeremiah for the first time and figuring out who she is and wants to be! by the end of the summer he admits he feels differently about her (hence belly internalizing this as The Summer I Turned Pretty) and they get together. this is already too much so i will just say that the next two books deal with a PROFOUND LOSS and the selfishness of grief and the SELFLESSNESS OF CONRAD and i will absolutely lose my shit if netflix picks it up for a second jenny han series adaptation.

pappyland

this was a kids show in the 90′s that features a character named Pappy Drew-It, an artist dressed like a 49er who lives in a magic cabin in pappyland. there’s tons of characters and music and life lessons but the meat of every episode is a detailed drawing how-to (pappy is actually a cartoonist, michael cariglio) and i have a hard back cover sketch book from my grandpa that i FILLED with drawings that pappy and DOODLEBUG taught me to do. there is a running gag that pappy always breaks his crayons.

boy meets world

i KNOW this is beloved by many but i’m counting it because i’m simply too young to have such an obsession with it! the show ran from 1992-2000. i was born in 1996, but reruns on the disney channel and abc family cemented it as one of my favorite shows. cory and shawn, closer than brothers, shameless homoromantics, shawn is cory’s first wife!!!!! truly showed me what a best friend can and should be!!!!!! the great love of your life!!!!! TOPANGA, the og weird feminist girl who said stop shaving your legs and start speaking your mind, ladies! the characters are so richly developed that they are real people to my heart. YES every character on this show is in their late 30s-early 40s and YES i feel like we grew up together. in season one they’re in the 6th grade and we follow them all the way to COLLEGE. countless poignant life lessons, often literally dictated by the wise and hilarious MR. FEENY, cory’s next door neighbor and somehow one of his teachers for YEARS. my love was only solidified by the 2014 girl meets world reboot, centered on cory and topanga’s daughter and her best friend. (which was literally cancelled because disney didn’t want to transition from a kids show to a teen show, something essential to the original. also because that teen show would have had CANON LESBIANS. extremely shameful move in 2017!) boy meets world lives rent free in my heart and i will never evict it!!!!!!!

i consulted my mother when i got stumped for more and she reminded me that i had obsessions with the impressionist art period and babies and ANYTHING fairies or pixies, and i was way too young when my love of the canadian teen after school special degrassi began. she also said bob ross, which i was hesitant to include because he’s been super ~trendy in recent years, but to be fair (To Be Faaairrr) she’s right! i don’t think people really watched the joy of painting as much as i have throughout my life. best sick day show of all time.

lastly i could honestly list anna herself as a niche interest, my mom actually metioned that ive always hyperfixated on my girl friends (gay) but i’ll just note that YES friday night lights, YES barry lyga novels. love to share so many things with you, niche or not, they’re niche in Our Mind.

#with the baby obsession came an obsession with adoption #my aunt and uncle adopted and when i learned that there were ORPHANS whew #i was in preschool judging people for getting pregnant when there were SO many babies without mommies #she had a good point!#also does being a niall girl in 2012 count

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