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#i’ve probably written this on my blog somewhere else before but.
wolfstarshipping · 10 months
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Some non-ao3 Wolfstar Fic Recs for while ao3 is down
Hi so this is just a quick impromptu fic rec list, because ao3 has been down, so I thought a short rec list with fics that are hosted on other sites might come in handy while we all patiently wait for the amazing volunteers at ao3 to defend the site against the hackers. Also, I've seen several posts saying this and just want to add my voice, I think if you have the money to do so, giving a bit of it to ao3 would be a great thing to do, when the site is back up and running.
Okay enough of that, let's get into the list, in no particular order, these are just some of my older wolfstar faves off the top of my head, probably most of them are going to be fics I have recced on this blog before but I'm a firm believer that there is no such thing as too much enthusiasm, especially when it comes to fandom.
The Shoebox Project
If you ever thought about wanting to read the Shoebox Project but were intimidated by its length (or by all the separate pdf files), maybe now it is time to reconsider? It's an absolute wolfstar classic, it will make you laugh, it will make you cry, it will give you all the marauders and wolfstar feels you could ever want! For me, when asked for just one wolfstar/marauders fic rec this is always the one I would give.
The Door through the World
Okay you didn't expect me to write a fic rec list of older wolfstar fics and not mention this one, did you? This is the 2nd fic I will always and forever rec, a magical realism AU (kind of), the story is pure magic. I found that it is still accessible via webarchive, even though it is hosted on ao3.
remuslives23 Masterlist
Here is remuslives23's masterlist, on livejournal. They've written so many great fics, Muse in particular is one of my favorites (a muggle, artist AU), but the whole list is worth checking out!
picascribit on ff.net
Picascribit also posts all of their fics on ff.net, and I think I've recced most of their longer wolfstar fics on this blog over the years already anyways but two of my personal favorites are Highland Fling (a muggle AU set in Scotland) and Discards (a muggle AU set in Seattle with trans!Sirius), but I love all of their fics!
wolfstarwarehouse's ff.net rec list
wolfstarwarehouse posted a ff.net rec list in 2016, I remember reading All Kidding Aside and To Kiss a Bloke off that list back then, I don't think I've read the other fics but maybe now is the time for me to check them out!
Beekeeping in the Daylight podfic
Beekeeping in the Daylight is a wonderful muggle AU by halictus-writer and there is now a podfic by itsaash with a non-ao3 download link.
Alright I think I'll post this now and if I think of any more I'll just add them or make a part 2. If you have any faves you'd add to this list or if you're a writer who also posts somewhere else except ao3 feel free to add yours as a reblog or comment, so the list gets longer! <3
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princelylove · 23 days
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Since a lot of recent requests have lacked manners, here’s how to submit a request to me, in steps. 
First step: Greet me. When you start a conversation with someone, do you just start talking? Maybe to a stranger on the street, but it’s not polite given the circumstances. You’re about to ask me to write something for you, why do you feel so comfortable not saying hello? Use basic manners. Show me the respect I deserve. Your request does not have to be perfect, but put some effort in.
I prefer to be addressed by “Prince” or “Your Highness.” You may use other titles, but you must keep it appropriate to my rank. Nothing lower than a prince’s, or I will lightly flick your wrist, or send you to the dungeon for a few days.
I can forgive mistakes in addressing me only if the effort is evidently there. Sometimes I am wrongfully addressed as ‘Your Grace,’ but I do not mind it because the respect is obviously there and they’re trying. An attempt is an attempt. I’ve answered requests with the wrong title before, and will likely do so again if other requirements are met. That does not mean that I prefer it, but I don’t exactly take it as malicious intent. 
Second step: Talk to me. This can be praise for my works, an off topic comment, or any thoughts you’d like to share.
I may be a stranger on the internet, but I write your porn for free, and don't exactly think I'm asking for much at all. Show some respect and do something for me. I like to be spoken to, even if it isn’t stroking my ego. Why would I open a blog that takes requests if I didn’t want to talk to people about my works? I could be somewhere else, or turn my inbox off entirely and only write what I want. 
I do not know why you would request something from me if my demeanor isn’t appealing to you, but I cannot and will not force you, you do not have to stroke my ego for me to answer your request. You just need to use your manners and at least speak to me a little. You can talk to me about your request.
An example of this is this anon's request, where they asked a question and elaborated, and were polite about it. I like it when anons elaborate like this anon did, you do not HAVE to speak about me when you send a request.
If you would like to play into my worship kink, spend some time talking about my works or my demeanor. Be specific, consistent, and try not to throw darts at a thesaurus. Perhaps this topic deserves a separate post, which I will make if someone requests it.
Third step: Say your request. 
Include a “Please” and “Thank you.” You are asking me for a favor. I do not have to respond to it, acknowledge it, or even read it in the first place. Be polite about it. “May I please request —” and “Could you please tell me your opinion of —” are fine ways to start whatever you’re about to talk to me about. “Please” and “Thank you” are very, very basic manners. I know I do not have to teach my peons how to speak when the majority of you are older than I am and very much so should know that.
I do not mind when anons prattle on in my inbox, but try to keep it within control. I cannot write for you what you have already written, but if you’re aiming for something specific, it’s better to tell me some details.
You can also ask a small question, like this anon. As long as you're polite, I don't mind the lack of a big message attached, but I do not want the majority of my inbox’s messages to be so small. Try to elaborate at least a little bit.
Fourth step: Send it in and wait. Sometimes I will let your request sit in my inbox for a while, as in up to or over a month, but if it's up to code, I'll get to it. If you're worried I deleted it, send another in and ask if it broke any rules of mine.
You cannot rush me. This is MY laptop, I'm not doing something on my laptop that I do not want to do. Checking if it's okay is fine, I will either post the original soon and delete the "Is it ok?" message or respond to the is it ok message if the original is taking some time.
I'm probably going to go through my inbox today and weed out the ones I don't want to give attention to. If you sent an ask that you think doesn't fit what I've just stated, or otherwise broke my rules, try again. I've got some older requests that are fine but I've just yet to get to, it is not personal. I tend to either answer an ask immediately or I'll take a month and a half.
If anything is confusing, send an ask for clarification.
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serenescribe · 10 months
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got tagged by @kimium in a music tag game here (thank you, kim!) and i figured i may as well get this post written before the next twst update drops tomorrow and permanently alters my brain chemistry q-q
rules: post 5 songs you actually listen to, and tag 10 of your followers/mutuals (except i def don’t have that many people to tag TT)
i freaking love music with all my heart and soul so uhh— time to tangent! under the cut. this got long. just scroll past if you didn’t follow me for this shit ahfndhgdgf
1. bathroom community by glass beach (pinkshift cover)
i stumbled upon this song earlier this year thanks to spotify (yes, i actually look at what they recommend! i need more songs!) and god. GOD. this song has held me in a choke hold since i first listened to it. i desperately want to create an oc from this song, or a story of some sort; the story it paints with its lyrics just has so much goddamn potential for a character.
i love singing this song, even if i can’t sing very well. it’s just a lot of fun, with how intense it is! plus the lyrics... god, the lyrics. i usually like to gravitate to songs with more vague lyrics, but something about this song really soothes that teenage version of me tucked away somewhere in my soul, still angsting about the world.
i think my favourite line is this one, in the second verse — “he said you’ll never be okay if you don’t come to your senses / with you, everything’s the end of the world.” though “flipping through a spiral notebook for some / sad, hopeless words to turn into a liturgy” slaps hard too.
2. everybody’s falling in love by *repeat repeat
oh, i have a fic idea i long to write with this one. actually, i have an oc story (which is its own thing i won’t talk about) based on this song, but i have a fic idea i want to write too. this song just evokes so much whimsy of people falling in love, a constant spiral of romance! and it brings to mind a soulmate au — except instead of soulmate marks already existing and being common knowledge, they just... suddenly appear. which leads to a spiral of people figuring it out, relationship drama — what if two people who were dating aren’t soulmates? people who were platonic who suddenly get marks for each other? who gets together? who doesn’t? i’unno, i’m like... relationship introspection extraordinaire. might be a silly idea now that i’ve typed it out, but it’d be fun.
ah— for the song itself... yeah, it’s light on the lyrics, but like i said, it’s whimsical! it’s fun! i love the announcement at the start to really set the scene — this is a stage, and people falling in love is the show for everyone’s entertainment. yeah, it’s just— it’s a fun song. i don’t have much else to say.
3. sex sells by lovejoy
oh... (longing sigh) this song.
i listen to it a lot whenever i’m in a depressed funk. it just resonates with me a lot; the lyrics remind me of being second place to someone else, of a relationship slipping, that kind of thing. actually, the fact that i haven’t listened to it as much lately is probably a sign of my improving mental health (HA!)
i conceived a fic au before based off this song before — for a different fandom, not twst. it’s kind of shelved, i might turn it into an oc story instead because i still like the concept. but the inspiration i drew from this song turned into a very complex introspection of a close relationship (think childhood friends to lovers) crumbling and shattering under jealousy, envy, et cetera, et cetera. wrote like, one short ficlet off that? never posted it, but i’m still happy with it.
ah... lyrics. yeah, this one’s obvious; my favourite line is “how’s it feel to be so loved yet so alone?”
4. poplar st. by glass animals
was struggling between a lot of songs (how do you expect me to pick just FIVE?!) but considering how a line from poplar st. is literally my blog title on my main... figured it was a no brainer to include it. i wish i could convey my thoughts and feelings on this song, but this is one of the very rare few songs where, if you asked me to tell you what i like about it, i’d be stumped.
i’m not good with identifying instruments or explaining any of that, but the almost dreamy atmosphere of poplar st. hooks me splendidly. the vocals fit beautifully, to the point where they blend with the music and almost seem hard to pick out. i like how the song seems to tinge with darkness and fragment as it goes on — both lyrically and musically. it just scratches a lot of itches for me. would love to try writing something based off it someday? might just be oc stuff though, given the lyrics.
lyrics... the whole chorus slaps. it’s so lovely. all the lines about flowers, and then “i am a true romantic / free falling love addict” just tops it off beautifully <3
5. schoolin’ by everything everything
ah... hahaha.
not to sound cringe on main but if i had to ascribe a song to myself, it would be this one. my friends know — oh, they know — just how much schoolin’ resonates with me. if i divulged all my thoughts here, this post would turn into a criminally long essay, so i’ll exercise restraint for now.
like, i genuinely think this song permanently altered my brain chemistry. so much of it just resonate with me — the scathing observations, the metaphors slamming society, the absolute raging emotions in the voice of the singer, the resentment brimming just underneath. it’s a song about mistakes, it’s a song about learning from them or not, it’s a song about conformity and education and straying or conforming to it. it’s a song about questioning the world and ripping apart the people who are too scared to do so. it’s a wickedly poetic song once you rip apart and dissect every little bit of the lyrics, and i fucking love it with all my heart and soul.
too many lyrics in this song. and yet i have always known my favourite lines. “so learn me anything good / and teach me something that works.” there’s something about that that clicks with me so deeply. a single, scathing request: let me learn anything useful at all, and teach me something that can work for me.
also shoutout to the entire coda (outro) of the song for being the best 1m 50s of my life.
tagging: @llondonfog @olivebranch311 @pitruli @digdeepergravedigger09 @lakuronekobaka @pixelfun20 @reubeam @0rchidm4ntis (cheating? by also tagging friends who follow my main but not this sideblog? sue me. also i hope y’all are ok w being tagged in this HGFNDHGDF sorry if youre not ;;; just ignore if that’s the case)
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monstersandmaw · 2 years
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hey! I was wondering if you have any advice at getting stories out there? I’ve started a sideblog to practice some writing and I’d love to get some engagement - I’m not even sure if my posts are showing in the tags I’ve used :/
Ooof, it's rough starting out when no one knows your blog name and you have no idea if your stuff is being seen or if it just hasn't found its audience yet. Hang on in there, Anon!
I'd say maybe have a few stories ready to go, and if you've already posted them, create a masterlist immediately before you lose track of where your stories are (searching for stuff on Tumblr is a lost cause), even if it's only got a few things on it to start with. That way if someone does find your work, they can find more of it immediately. Link it at the bottom of every story too, and on your blog.
Make sure your grammar and formatting is as tight as you can get it. People know quality writing when they come across it, and if it's well written and edited, they're more likely to stay than if it's full of goofy paragraphing, typos, and has a jokey 'lol un-edited' at the start (I'm exaggerating for effect, but I have actually noped out of stuff on AO3 after reading that in the author's notes at the start. If the author doesn't care, why should the reader?).
Speaking of AO3, if you have an account on there, so long as you're not taking money for your writing on here, you can also link to Tumblr from AO3 (if you don't know how to code a link, google it, it's really simple - even I can do it!!) and if people don't have to copy paste a URL, they're probably gonna check it out if they use Tumblr too. Same for other socials - link back to here. Use the audience you may already have somewhere else, but don't spam them.
Interact as your blog's name so that people see your name around the place, because tags suck. (I don't follow any tags, I only follow people, so I'll very rarely come across something 'out in the wild'.) Since you're a sideblog, you can always go anon and then sign off your ask as your sideblog's name.
Be patient. It sucks, but don't expect to get hundreds of notes overnight.
Open your blog to all the prompts and challenges that you're comfortable with. Don't burn yourself out, but if people can engage with you and if they get something out of it too, then they're more likely to reblog your work. That's what I did at the start - I just got people to send me prompts for free stories and I wrote for free, for *exposure*, you might say. (Don't write anything you're not comfortable with, obviously, but be open to new challenges and writing things you maybe hadn't thought of).
Participate in fandom challenges if it's fandom you write for, and look for other writing challenges or events. That can help build a sense of community and might bring you an audience that way.
If you're in a server with people whose opinions you trust, share your work on Discord and maybe ask them for feedback and/or reblogs if they're on Tumblr. Only if you're comfortable with that.
At the end of the day, remember why you're writing though. Notes and responses aren't the be all and end all of creating. Create stuff first because you enjoy creating it, and then share it because you want to share it. Don't give up or get disheartened if you don't get much traffic for a long time, and just keep on sharing anyway. That way, when people do find you, they've got a good backlog to go through as well!
If anyone has any more advice to add to this, please feel free to stick it in the notes!
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erabundus · 1 year
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KNOWING YOUR PARTNER WELL CAN POTENTIALLY MAKE WRITING TOGETHER A LOT EASIER. ( REPOST DO NOT REBLOG ! )
NAME: avalon!
PRONOUNS: they  /  them  pronouns,  please!
PREFERENCE OF COMMUNICATION: tumblr  ims  are  always  open,  and  i’m  totally  cool  with  handing  out  my  discord  to  anyone  who  asks!
NAME OF MUSE(S): scaramouche,  scaramouche...  will  you  do  the  fandango...  i  also  have  a  few  miscellaneous  ocs  scattered  about,  as  well  as  a  giratina  for  all  of  your  eldritch  worm  needs  —  though  this  blog  is  by  far  the  center  of  my  attention.  genshin  has  a  death-grip  on  my  brain.  this  is  my  curse.
EXPERIENCE/HOW LONG (MONTHS / YEARS?):  oh  god.  off  the  top  of  my  head,  i  don’t  think  i’d  be  able  to  give  a  precise  number.  i  know  my  first  experience  with  roleplaying  in  general  was  when  i  was  super  young  —  probably  somewhere  in  the  10  -  12  range.  (  i  was  allowed  free  rein  on  the  internet;  my  parents  just  told  me  not  to  give  out  personal  information  and  set  me  loose.  horrifying.  )  i  found  a  random  pokemon  message  board  by  complete  chance,  and  they  had  a  section  for  roleplay.  i  wrote  a  pikachu  who  was  a  blatant  self-insert.  i  think  i  had  a  villain  arc?  wild. i’ve  been  writing  on  tumblr  since  around  2012,  though!
PLATFORMS YOU’VE USED: discord  and  tumblr!  and  the  aforementioned  childhood  message  board  experience.  i  generally  prefer  tumblr,  if  only  because  i  like  the  aesthetic  and  it’s  nice  having  everything  i’ve  written  somewhere  i  can  easily  look  back  on  it.  i  have  pages  of  headcanons  just  scattered  across  half  a  dozen  discord  servers.  i’m  still  trying  to  recover  them  all.
BEST EXPERIENCE:  i  have  a  handful  of  rp  servers  on  discord  with  some  close  friends  of  mine,  and  they’re  always  a  blast.  (  i  write  scaramouche  there,  too!  )
RP PET PEEVES/DEALBREAKERS: basically  the  general  dni  criteria  we’re  all  probably  familiar  with  at  this  point.  also,  please  trim  your  posts  and  wait  a  little  bit  before  asking  about  replies.  don’t  try  to  control  my  muse,  don’t  try  to  push  me  to  make  him  act  a  certain  way.  i  think  i’m  pretty  easygoing  otherwise.
FLUFF, ANGST OR SMUT: i  generally  don’t  write  smut,  but  i  absolutely  love  fluff  and  angst  equally.  i  think  the  best  rp  experiences  are  when  you  have  an  even  amount  of  both  to  balance  each  other  out.
PLOTS OR MEMES: honestly,  i’m  perfectly  fine  with  either!
LONG OR SHORT REPLIES: i  like  a  little  mix  of  both!  i  feel  like  having  too  many  long  replies  to  get  to  can  feel  a  bit  daunting,  but  sometimes  i  just  get  really  into  what  i’m  writing  and  want  to  pop  off  with  a  novel.
BEST TIME TO WRITE: i  think  my  favorite  time  to  write  is  late  at  night?  it’s  easier  for  me  to  focus  when  it’s  quiet;  i  can  grab  some  tea  or  coffee  (  anything  with  caffeine  )  and  see  what  i  come  up  with.
ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSE(S):  at  the  risk  of  making  myself  sound  like  a  clown,  i  think  in  SOME  ways?  specifically,  i  feel  like  scara  and  i  are  both  really  introverted  people  who  wilt  a  bit  when  we’re  forced  into  social  situations  we  don’t  want  to  be  in  —  though  he  tends  to  get  irritated,  whereas  i’m  just  hideously  awkward  and  nervous. also  i  am.  unfortunately.  just  as  short  as  he  is.  and  my  face  makes  people  mistake  me  for  someone  much  younger  than  i  actually  am.  i  live  in  misery.
tagged by: @detectiveheizou!!  thank  you  so  much!  ✨ tagging: @carmcndei @eonsadrft @momijiba @boughtastar @capravulpes @wcndcrcr &&  anyone  else  who  wants  to  fill  this  out!
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thelonelycrone · 1 year
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Well. They say the best place to start is at the beginning, so, let’s start there.
I must warn readers that my material can be dark, heavy, and full of crappy things. This blog is dedicated to my truth and anything written here is true to the best of my own memories and experiences. If you are triggered by certain things, this is not the blog for you - as whatever it is that triggers you is probably going to show up in this blog at some point.
Now, let’s begin.
My biological mother was 13 when I was born and my father 26. To this day, I have not been told a clear story of my conception, but I’ve been able to piece enough together on my own to figure it out. As that part is speculation, I’ll not comment further on that.
My mother got pregnant with me when she was still 12. The state we lived in would not approve of the marriage that my grandmother was trying to push. They did manage to go to another country and legalize the marriage there - so, I wasn’t born a bastard. Phew. My father left when I was still an infant. I’m told there was a bit of a custody battle with my fathers family, but eventually my mother and her parents won. With my grandparents raising me, my mother was able to still finish high school. I do vaguely remember her graduation. I was wearing a pink dress with star buttons.
Shortly after my mother graduated high school, I learned she had found a man to marry, and that we’d be moving away from my grandparents. This is the point in my life when I really start to remember things.
I remember the day I found out I’d be starting a new life - as much as a 4 year old could comprehend, anyways. My mother came back from a wedding and honeymoon I didn’t attend or really know about. I knew she was going on a trip, but that’s about it. She came back and told me she had a surprise for me. Silly me - I asked her if it was a dollhouse. What a silly thing to ask for as a child. No, she said, it was a new dad and a new home somewhere else. Well neat!
Our new home turned out to be a tiny apartment in the next town over. It was a duplex home split into two apartments. The smaller apartment on the left was ours, and had a small kitchen near the front door and a living area on the first floor. Up the stairs was an open bedroom with an attached smaller room and the only bathroom attached to the smaller bedroom. There was also a shared basement for laundry.
Most of my life in this apartment was me spending time by myself playing with plastic animals in my bedroom, or playing My Little Ponies on the train tracks out back. My mother never seemed to worry about me getting hit by the trains. I appreciate how much she thought of my intelligence to just let me play by myself on train tracks at such a young age. Sometimes I’d wander over to the other side of the tracks to a church in a shed. In my older age I wonder if the church was ever really held in a shed, or, if it was a weird thing my mini self imagined, but I definitely think it was a church in a shed.
Anyways, sometimes when I really craved some human attention, I would wander over to the church and just go in and sit and listen. Sometimes I’d join their Sunday school classes. And I don’t remember too much of what they talked about, but they were all so nice to me. My mom was always in her own little world, and I rarely even saw her new husband. No one ever questioned why I was there alone.
I was put into preschool, too. I liked it well enough. I played by myself a lot, because that’s what I was used to. The preschool didn’t last long before I was forced into kindergarten. I liked that a lot less. I had less freedom to do what I wanted and had to sit still and learn. I learned things faster than most kids in my class. I remember thinking that the faster I got done, the sooner the teacher would let me play - but we know that’s not how school works. Instead, I had to sit quietly until everyone else was done. That made me resent everyone for being slow, because I was bored and wanted to play.
First grade was better, because I learned how to read. Finally. It was the only thing I wanted out of school. I got the hang of it so fast, and started helping classmates. I had some books at home, but I wasn’t ready for those yet. Luckily, my mother went to the library regularly, so, I could find books more for beginners. Curious George and Ranger Rick magazines were popular. As well as Eyewitness books. I never really saw much of my mother despite living in such tight quarters, but somehow she always managed to remember to take me to the library with her and I guess I have that to be thankful for.
Sometime later in first grade, I was sent to vacation at my maternal grandparents house for a week or two while my mother and her husband took their own vacation to North Carolina. My mother promised she would have another surprise for me when she returned.
And I’ll leave that surprise for another day.
Until next time. X - The Crone
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peaamlipoetrydoctor · 2 years
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Stepping through my post-doc archive: Q4 2021
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Again - not too much in the record for:
October = birthday
November = graduation, or
December = a few creative bits and pieces, including working on a podcast with Helen Tyrrell, having my poetry pamphlets edited, and writing again for the Advent Blogs, and, probably, for BAPT, although my memory of what I wrote for the winter 2021 issue is... blurry.
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This is (again) the text from my Advent Blog, which is written as a kind of word-acrostic, using the words of a much loved quotation, from Nietsche, via an episode of the tv show Angel that was (happily for their respective reputations) written by Tim Minear and not by (disgraced) showrunner Joss Whedon.
IF NOTHING WE DO MATTERS, THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS IS WHAT WE DO – by Paula Aamli, December 2021, after Tim Minear
IF I was writing this a year ago, words would have gushed from me, on command. I assume. Seemed to be the way it was, then. I used to explain it as being a feature of a period spent immersed in other people’s ideas, other papers, other answers to questions that hadn’t yet settled in me. Secretly, I used to think, maybe this is just how it is for me. Inspiration available on command. Lucky, lucky.
NOTHING prepared me for the shift into a new season, where the words seem elusive. Where minutes tick by, turning into hours, and I’m no closer to committing anything to paper. Have I run out of things to believe in? Things I want to discuss with others? I can’t even tell whether this is the silence of drought or plenty. Am I silenced because I’m in a moment of peace or trying to avoid noticing the storms?
WE had a pretty good time of it, through our various local lockdowns, and I’m grateful. The two of us had somewhere safe to stay, where we could be together or close the door and be apart, and we were mercifully free from sickness and mercifully light on caring responsibilities. I don’t take this for granted. And still, from the enforced localising, something changed in me. Not sure whether it’s permanent.
DO you remember what seemed normal to you in the Before Times? For me, it was the assumption that every holiday meant going away, spending time and money to borrow someone else’s experience of Being Local. And home was somehow not more than a kind of dormitory. We slept there, but all our waking energy was spent in leaving and returning. Being on leave was synonymous with “getting away”.
MATTERS might be getting away from us again. Not sure. Maybe. I ration my own exposure to the news, simultaneously unsurprised and grief-stricken. Violence might be on the increase, or it might just be that I’m surrounded by news outlets, formal and informal, that can’t wait to monetise my attention by telling me, luridly, about it. Either way, looks like we humans do like to figure things out by fighting about them.
THE things that give me hope are the small things. The foxglove in our front garden, now vanished, was briefly gorgeous throughout the early summer. Each painted petal was a small masterpiece. From the kitchen window, it looked like it thought it might grow tall enough to touch the sky. But I counted the lifespan of its flowers in weeks. Would we have the motivation to curate such a vibrant show for such a brief season?
ONLY a few weeks since going back to the office started to be “normal” again – speaking only for myself, of course. It’s like I’ve got two different protocols filed in sealed, separated parts of my brain. I know how to mask up, stay distanced, glare at every sniffle. And I know how to be in a Town Hall, join the morning huddle in person, go out for coffee. But I struggle to access both protocols at the same time.
THING is, we measure time in human terms, as though that means something. And it does – it means something to us. I can listen to Brian Cox’s Universe series on repeat (and it’s so beautifully shot, I’m tempted to – also because I don’t really understand half of what he’s saying and I think, maybe I’ll get it, next time…). Doesn’t make it any easier to imagine galaxies colliding, in 4.5 billion years’ time.
THAT is so far in the future that it’s, in all practical senses, irrelevant. Yet when Brian tells me, enthusiastically, that the Andromeda galaxy is travelling towards our own Milky Way at something like a quarter of a million miles an hour, my pulse quickens a little. I feel the old lizard-brain fight-or-flight instincts kick in. Bless my small human heart – a nice ambition, but you’re not going to outrun this one!
MATTERS taking place out on the galactic stage do, and do not, concern us. We exist (according to my scientific-humanist gospel, at least) because early stars forged the elements essential for life in their star-centre furnaces, and then blew those elements out into the vast cold dark of space by going supernova (yes, by dying). Eventually those elements were gifted to our local solar system. Life became possible.
IS it important that we understand these mechanisms? Yes. And no. In terms of the quality of the life we’re going to live, it doesn’t really matter. My point of view on the vastness of the Cosmos, the expansiveness of Deep Time probably doesn’t make me kinder, or better at my job, or capable of making better decisions with money, or less likely to die from one of the diseases that our bodies ultimately can’t recover from.
WHAT does matter for quality of life is only ever partly within my control – at best. I read that we develop an equilibrium level of… stressed-ness, joy, disappointment. Like, winning the lottery or losing a leg makes us much happier, in the first case, and much more miserable, in the second, but only for a bit, until we habituate, and the new much-improved or much-worse circumstances become “normal” to us. Maybe.
WE are here, briefly, and it’s blooming marvellous that we are. That consciousness is somehow a feature. That we can perceive a sunset – a foxglove – and find it beautiful. And then we’ll be gone. When I was a child, I figured that I’d fix death through fame. Somehow, this would remove the sting of death. But having come to cherish privacy, middle-aged me is delighted my seven-year-old-child version life plan fell through.
DO, or do not. There is no “try”. There is also no rational need to obsess about a future collision with the Andromeda galaxy, spectacular as the distant future night sky will be, judging from the TV simulation. Maybe there’s also no real benefit to worrying too much about more immediate dangers (covid-variants or climate crisis) – but that doesn’t have to mean doing nothing in response.
After all, if nothing we do matters, the only thing that matters is what we do.
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elastica1995 · 3 years
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the coca-cola vending machine outside of walmart my beloved
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jackrrabbit · 4 years
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Sidekick /// Dabi x f!Reader x Shigaraki (18+)
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Summary: During a rescue gone wrong, a rookie sidekick catches the attention of two villains.
A/N: Thanks for 1k followers!! This is the fic that made me create a smut blog/lowkey inspired this. imho this might be the spiciest thing I’ve ever written 😳 also wanted to call out @kazooli​ because this is highkey inspired by her lol thanks queen
Tags/warnings: quirk kink, reader’s quirk makes other quirks stronger, noncon, threesome, lots of foreplay, outdoor sex, mild overstimulation, degradation, mild violence, threats, chronological/temporal inaccuracies, fucking long
You can hardly be blamed for not recognizing them. It’s only been three weeks since you debuted as a pro, and you’re not even really a hero. You’re a sidekick, and apparently you’re not important enough to have been briefed on the major villains you need to look out for. You’re just…doing your duty. Rescuing civilians indiscriminately. Stupid, naive little sidekick. It’s not your fault that the lives you just saved belong to the two most notorious villains around.
Still, Shigaraki can’t wait to see the look on your face when you find out.
///
The disaster you ‘rescue’ them from—the League’s bar crashing down, the result of a small-time villain’s poisonous gas quirk—isn’t even a disaster. It’s a minor annoyance, sure, but Shigaraki and Dabi would have been fine without you…even though both of them missed Kurogiri’s warp gate and ended up trapped under a wooden beam in the wreckage of the building… Okay, it’s more than a minor annoyance. Shigaraki hacks violently as the cloud of foul-smelling steam and powdered debris enters his lungs. The poisonous quirk doesn’t seem to be having the same acid-burn effects on his body as it did on the building, but he can’t assume it’s harmless.
Father… Shigaraki took Father off his face to drink at the bar earlier before the gas hit, and now in the confusion the severed hand is either buried underneath the rubble that used to be the League’s main base or somewhere else out of view. “Father? Father!” Shigaraki calls out, attempting to shift under the crushing weight of the beam.
“Shut up,” Dabi says from somewhere to Shigaraki’s left. “Kurogiri took it in one of the portals, I saw it.” He looks worse than Shigaraki feels—something hit him in the face as the bar collapsed, and a few of the staples (piercings? stitches? whatever) on his right cheek are torn open and bleeding.
“Are you lying to me?”
Dabi sneers and rolls his eyes. “Let’s just get out of here.” His palms glow blue and Shigaraki follows suit, letting four fingers sit on the wood that’s pinning both of them to the ground. It’s too heavy to lift, so they’re going to have to get rid of it…a task that seems significantly more difficult when it becomes clear that neither of them are positioned at the right angle to touch it.
Shigaraki tries to wrest his arm out enough for his thumb to touch the wood, but it’s impossible. Beside him, Dabi’s having the same issue. “Shit, I can’t reach—“
“Is someone there?” Confident, clear, and oddly robotic, your voice cuts through the din of gurgling water from cracked pipes and police sirens like a lit flare in the darkness. Shigaraki tenses and halts his attempts to get free from the beam, and a second later Dabi mimics him.
“I heard voices.” The same unfamiliar voice rings out through the half-light, now accompanied by a body—your body, taking a series of awkward jumps down the piles of rubble to land in front of the two of them. The outfit you’re wearing is ridiculous: a pair of metal boots that clang against the cement wherever you step, matching braces on your arms, and a space-age chrome motorcycle helmet to top it all off.
A hero. Shigaraki’s lip curls in disgust as your head turns his way.
You scan the scene quickly, eyes resting on the two men trapped in front of you for a moment before you turn back to the opening in the wreckage. “Found two civilians!” you call out to the rescue workers just in case they’re within earshot, although it’s unlikely.
Dabi snickers under his breath. Civilians? Even in the chaos, you should’ve known the second you saw them who you’re looking at. Are you faking ignorance? Got something up your sleeve?  It’s either that, or you genuinely don’t recognize them. Priceless.
You kneel down in front of the fallen beam and give a half-hearted attempt to pick it up. It doesn’t budge. No surprises there—if it were light enough for you to lift by yourself, the two men held down by it would have no problem getting out with their combined strength. You’re going to have to use your support gear to get it off them.
But first—you search for a memory of your rescue training. Reassure the victims. They’re probably panicking.
“It’ll be okay,” you tell them, your voice coming out mechanical and distorted from the helmet you’re wearing. “You’re going to be okay. I’m here to save you.”
This time, Dabi has to bite his lip to keep from laughing out loud. Ah, yes…they’re so lucky that there’s a do-gooder little hero around to rescue them, because they’d be helpless otherwise. The laugh is still audible, though, and Shigaraki shoots him a glare.
You raise an eyebrow at their expressions. Did he just laugh? Well…you’ve heard that people sometimes have inappropriate reactions in times of crisis. The dark-haired man seems more badly hurt, so you creep toward him first, careful not to disturb any of the debris and trigger an avalanche reaction. “I’m going to check your injuries now,” you tell him, and your gloved hand brushes away a sweep of spiky hair to examine the sizable red bump growing on his forehead.
Ouch…there’s no way that doesn’t hurt, but the man’s not letting any of the pain show on his face. Instead, he looks disinterested at best, and at worst? You almost get the feeling that he’s eyeing you up under your hero costume. Not that you can blame him. Damn this skin-tight bodysuit—it leaves basically nothing to the imagination.
“Does it hurt a lot?” you ask him. “I don’t think this is too serious, but they’ll look you over for a concussion when I get you to first aid.”
Dabi shrugs and you frown. Is the non-verbal response because of the ripped stitches in his face? Is it too painful to talk? Or could there be brain damage? Or maybe he’s just a man of few words or something…?
“Can you get on with it? Pick up the fucking beam already,” Shigaraki hisses.
Startled, you pull your hand away from the other man’s forehead. That ungrateful little…nope, nope, don’t get annoyed, he’s just in shock. “O-Of course, sorry. Just gotta make sure it’s okay to move.”
Luckily, the beam doesn’t look like it’s supporting anything else that’ll fall if you pick it up. You crouch down next to one end and steady your feet against the cement, lifting up with all your strength while activating the effects of the support items you’re wearing. When you feel the metal on your arm braces grow warm, you remind yourself again to thank the developer of your costume. You may not be a fan of the way-too-tight bodysuit that clings to everything, but the strength-enhancing armor that you wear on your arms and legs more than makes up for it.
A second later, you hold back a grin. It’s moving! You try to ignore the unpleasant screech of metal against stone as the beam slowly lifts into the air. As soon as the men get out from under it, you pant and let it crash back into the ground. “You guys okay?”
“Mm…yes,” Dabi replies, running a hand over the torn piercings in his cheek. “Got any more gas masks for the poison mist?”
“Don’t worry! The Commission is familiar with the villain who created it, and the gas isn’t harmful to anything living. Only buildings. It’s a troublesome quirk, but we’ve got it under control.”
“Then what’s with the helmet?”
He can hear the hesitation in your reply, even distorted and tinny through the metal speakers. “Uh…I, well…”
Now that you’re getting a good look at them, the two scarred faces in front of you seem weirdly intense, considering you’ve just saved them from a collapsed building. The dark-haired man’s eyes are…very, very blue next to the burned-looking skin underneath, and the other man’s greyish-blue hair isn’t quite long enough to obscure a pair of red irises that are scrutinizing your face with obvious hostility.
You give a nervous shake of your head to clear it. “Um, the helmet is…it’s dangerous if I take it off. I should get you guys back to the rescue area, I need to meet up with my hero…” Without thinking, you take a step back and then one more, not knowing exactly why you’re backing away when you’re supposed to be escorting them. “I’ll just lead the way?”
With your third step back, though, you bump into something hard. What was that? Your head jerks around but before you can identify what it is that stopped your retreat, you feel the faint sensation of something tapping lightly on the back of your helmet.
And then…it just…crumbles.
What just happened?
You cough and shake your head, squeezing your eyes shut against the sudden onslaught of dust. A breeze whips through your hair, sending a chill through you in more ways than one. How? No one pulled the helmet off; you would’ve felt it if they had. More dust sticks to your face, and you rub your eyes so you can open them.
Behind you, Shigaraki waits with outstretched fingers an inch away from your neck. If he had to explain the decision to decay your helmet strategically, he could—you’re a hero, a potential threat, and he wants to know what you’re hiding under that outfit just in case you figure out who they are and decide to turn on them.
But really? He didn’t think about it that much. It was an impulse reaction to you walking away from them; a tantrum. Child-like.
Once your stunned face is exposed, Dabi has to wonder what you were even trying to hide. You’re…surprisingly ordinary. Young-looking—a rookie, fresh from hero school graduations a few weeks ago maybe? Large, expressive eyes, lips parted in shock, but nothing particularly interesting. Shigaraki cocks his head to the side to study your face too, and both of them are so focused on your appearance that it takes a moment for them to notice the feeling.
Well, feeling isn’t really the right word, but there isn’t a word for the way your quirk works. Dabi’s eyes widen when it reaches him and behind you, Shigaraki stiffens. You notice.
There’s an involuntary quiver in your voice as you break the silence. “Y-You guys must have strong quirks if you can feel it just from that.”
Dabi sucks in a breath. So this is your quirk? It’s different…he’s never felt anything like it, not that he’s exactly sure what it is. There’s some kind of energy in the air around you that he’s breathing in, a feeling like taking a shot of espresso after days of sleep deprivation.
No, it’s stronger than that. The head rush after doing a line of cocaine would be a better metaphor.
Either way, he’s awake—more awake than he can remember feeling in a long time. Heat rises to the surfaces of his palms unbidden, his quirk appearing without him calling it. “What is this?”
“…It’s called Boost,” you say, licking your lips as a dry wave of heat radiates out from the man in front of you. “I can strengthen other people’s quirks. That’s why it’s dangerous—if the villain finds us—“
“It must have been hard to get through hero school with a quirk like that,” says a raspy voice from behind you.
What—? Your head twists around. When did he—
Shigaraki grips your shoulder with three fingers, holding just tightly enough to keep you from stumbling forward and away from him. His pinky and ring finger hover an inch over your costume, careful not to disintegrate the fabric he’s touching—although with the power sparking through his veins at the moment, it almost feels like three fingers would be enough.
“…Doesn’t really seem like the kind of quirk a hero has.” His voice, soft and pondering (a weird contrast to the harsh architecture of his facial features you’d seen earlier), feels very close to your ear. Something soft tickles your cheek. His hair?
A voice (an instinct?) deep inside of you is telling you to run. You ignore it. This is normal, right? It’s not uncommon for civilians who’ve just suffered a traumatic villain attack to have questions, even if those questions seem irrelevant to the situation at hand. You have to answer, even if your gut is churning. “I’m not really a hero. Not yet. For now, I’m a sidekick to one of the pros—and speaking of which, I really need to find—“
“But how does it work?” Dabi doesn’t notice himself making a conscious decision to step forward, but he does anyway and being closer to you feels right. He can see the trepidation on your face as he gets close enough to reach out and touch you, but you can’t really ask him to stay back, can you? Not when your quirk feels this good?
“I—“ Is it unreasonable that you think you’re being trapped right now? They’re just a couple of civilians, right? The question itself is common enough. People often wonder how you can be a hero. It’s a concern you’ve had to address dozens of times over the years. “Well, I work with rescue operations, especially with other heroes who have healing-type quirks. I can also assist in combat in some situations.”
“In combat? If you’re with a hero and a villain, you’ll enhance both quirks. Seems counterintuitive,” Dabi says, half aware that his voice is getting lower.
“And you clearly don’t have physical abilities. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have…these.” Shigaraki taps three fingers on the metal brace on your right arm.
“The effects can be unpredictable. And I can increase the degree of the enhancement with physical contact.”
“Contact?”
“Yeah. The gloves of my costume come off. My quirk is way stronger when it’s skin-to-skin.” The words tumble out of your mouth before you can stop them.
You shouldn’t have said that.
Shigaraki’s ring finger and pinky, which were hovering over the arm brace, come down to rest on the cold metal. The effect is instant: no crumbling, no slow decay—it’s there, and then it’s dust. His quirk in action, boosted by yours.
“What—What are you doing? What did you just do?” You try to pull away from him, but he holds you tight by your collar. His other hand comes up to grip your chin, and in one long sloppy stroke, he licks you from your neck up to your jawline.
You shudder. So does Shigaraki.
“It’s my quirk,” he tells you slowly. His breath is steamy warm on the cold, wet trail of saliva painting your throat. “Decay. Have you heard of it?”
You flinch away from his hand and your back falls against his chest. Of course you’ve heard of the Decay quirk. You might be a rookie, but even civilians know about the young, impetuous head of the League of Villains. Jesus, how had you not recognized him earlier? White hair, red eyes…you should have known. You should have left him under that beam. “Shigaraki…Tomura.”
“So you’re not completely clueless. Do you know me, then?” Dabi asks. He would think he’s the more noticeable of the two (the burn scars usually identify him), but you just stare up at him with the same deer-in-the-headlights look as before. Smirking, he lights a blue fire in his palm and it jumps up toward your face—not just the small spark he intended, but a bright, high flame. “Maybe this will help you remember.”
“The Forest of Beasts incident. You’re the one who started that fire,” you whisper. You’ve seen the TV coverage of the attack on UA’s training camp, the abduction of that teenage student, the forest lit up blue from wildfire. No wonder his skin looks burned.
“Dabi,” he corrects you.
Breath is coming out of your mouth in shallow puffs. Are you hyperventilating? Is this what hyperventilating feels like? You’re definitely panicking. They’re so close to you, caging you in between them. The smoke from the blue fire is uncomfortably hot over the exposed skin of your face, and Shigaraki’s lethal hands are still touching you. If they want to kill you—and why wouldn’t they?—you’re fucked.
The flame goes out and Dabi’s hands come down to squeeze your wrists. His palms are hot like he was holding them in front of a lit stove. It’s not painful, but it’s a threat.
“I’ll fight,” you say.
Your voice is trembling, and Shigaraki likes it. The effects of your quirk, the way he felt when he licked your face… And you’re afraid. He can see it in your shoulders, the quivering of your torso pressed into him. It’s nice. He wants to feel it more.
You’re struggling against their hold, and Dabi feels the urge to laugh. “You’ll fight…the two of us.”
“If you try to kill me, I’ll—“
Before you can finish your sentence, Shigaraki’s hands flit down to your metal support gear and disintegrate it. Shit. He’s fast, and you’re helpless.
Dabi releases your wrists and cups your face in a mockery of intimacy. His eyelids flutter closed as his skin meets yours… Fuck, he could get used to this. You smell so good, sweet and soft and clean, like fruity shampoo. What is that, watermelon?
Life must be difficult for you, hm… Everyone around you must want to touch you constantly. It seems like Shigaraki enjoyed licking you—maybe bodily fluids are an even stronger conductor of your quirk? Pushing easily past your resistance, Dabi forces your jaw upward and kisses you.
Oh…yesyesyes, just like that. Perfect. Dabi has to bite down a groan as his tongue enters your mouth. It’s ridiculous for someone else’s spit to taste this good, but he’s right—your quirk is amplified by the contact from the kiss.
After a moment he has to break it to regain focus and make sure he’s not burning you. You cringe away from him, your cheek brushing against Shigaraki’s neck, but Dabi tangles his hand in your hair to pull you back. He runs a finger against your closed lips, letting the pad of his fingertip heat up until your mouth drops open in response to the threat.
“What the hell are you doing?” Shigaraki asks, voice laced with revulsion. Privately, you agree. What’s going on? You were sure you were about to be either burned to a crisp or decayed into the equivalent.
Dabi laughs under his breath. “Try it. It feels crazy good.”
Curious now, Shigaraki wrenches your head around and tilts your jaw up to repeat Dabi’s action. When you refuse to open your mouth, he taps your jaw warningly and a hiss of fear escapes you. Would he really kill you? He decayed your support gear so quickly—would it be the same for your body?
Well, what’s going to stop them?
You open your mouth.
Shigaraki’s lips are harsh and unsentimental against yours. His tongue sweeps over the inside of your mouth, invasive and brutal. He grips you forcefully, his face pushing you deeper into the strained hold with your head twisted toward his. You’ve never been kissed like this before. His spit—it’s in your mouth.
And Dabi’s hands are on your waist. “How do you get this thing off?” he murmurs, pinching the fabric of your bodysuit.
A surge of panicked adrenaline gives you the strength to pull back away from Shigaraki. “What? No, you can’t!”
“Are you going to stop us, little sidekick?” Dabi mocks. “I think I can burn it off without too much damage.”
“Let me.” Shigaraki takes hold of the cloth, careful so when it dissolves into dust his hand isn’t touching you, and within a second—a second—you’re left shivering in just your underwear and boots.
“Help!” The plea squeaks out and you hope blindly that there’s a hero close enough to hear you. But is there even anyone who can fight them? You certainly can’t. “Help me! Somebody!”
“Shut up.” Dabi sends up a tongue of flame from a fingertip and you shriek as the heat sears against you. “Oh, come on. You should feel lucky. Bad guys like us usually don’t hesitate to take heroes out.”
“I don’t— Please, I’m just a sidekick, I’m a rookie— What do you even want from me? Just let me go, I won’t tell anyone! Please let me go.”
“Well, I think I know what I want.” Dabi traces circles over the tender skin of your hips, playing with the elastic of your underwear. He meets Shigaraki’s eye over your shoulder. “I think he wants that too. Right?”
“Yeah, I want…I want to fuck her,” Shigaraki hums. This isn’t like him, but he can’t help himself. You’re different. Leaving you here and never feeling this stimulant again isn’t an option. He buries his face in the juncture of your neck and shoulder, bites down on the soft skin there, and sucks.
You whimper, half from his answer and half from the sensation of his chapped lips on your neck. “Why are you doing this?”
“Don’t take this the wrong way, but…you smell like something I want to eat. Especially this.” Dabi kneels down in front of you and hitches one of your legs up over his shoulder so you feel his hot breath washing over your clothed pussy.
You whine and attempt to wriggle back away from him, but Dabi’s grip on your thigh holds firm. His other hand brushes against the fabric of your panties to rub up against your slit and another surge of panic jumps up your throat. You can’t let him do this.
You kick your foot against his back, desperately attempting to make contact using the heel of the high boot that’s the only piece of outerwear still left on your body. It hits him awkwardly and he growls. “Damn it. Can’t you keep her busy?”
“Ahh…” Shigaraki ceases his oral assault on your neck and scratches a fingernail against one of the bright red marks marring your skin. He feels almost dizzy from the way your quirk is affecting him. Behind him, the broken expanse of wall digging into his back is the only thing keeping his focus. “Behave, sidekick.”
Before you can respond to the mocking title, Shigaraki’s face is against yours and his tongue is in your mouth again. Rough fingertips work up under the band of your sports bra and pushes it up over your tits. You screw your eyes shut at the sudden feeling of cold air on your nipples, and you know without looking that they’re standing up. Shigaraki gropes you thoughtlessly, keeping one finger lifted off of your skin, and you gasp on his tongue.
“That’s better.” Dabi’s mouth returns to brush against your panties. To be honest, eating you out isn’t the first thing on his mind. What he wants—what he really wants—is to shove you up against the wall and fuck into you and find out what your quirk feels like when you’re wrapped around his cock. But you’re probably not wet enough for that, and it’s not like Shigaraki is going to do anything to take care of you. Dabi would be surprised if the other man’s ever eaten pussy before in his life.
Besides…you smell good. It’s not even just the feeling of your quirk exciting him. The rich, feminine scent of your pussy is inches away from him, and Dabi is dying to make you cum in his mouth.
A moan curls up from deep in your throat as Dabi caresses the lips of your pussy through your underwear. You don’t bother protesting—at this point, it’s unlikely that any plea you could muster would stop them. Your earlier begging didn’t do much besides spur them on, but you still cry out as softly as you can when an unnaturally warm fingertip slips under the cloth of your panties to dip into your slit.
“Oh? You’re wetter than I expected. Are you enjoying this?”
Your frantic denial falls on deaf ears. Shigaraki rasps out a laugh and bites down on your neck again. He’s supposed to be keeping you still, but he can’t help enjoying the way your almost-naked body feels as you press yourself back into his chest, trying to force some space between yourself and Dabi.
Your squirming is no problem for Dabi, though—you’re so soft and vulnerable and the velvety skin of your inner thigh looks so delicious… He nuzzles against the area of bare skin and latches on to it, sucking until he’s sure you’re going to have a mark in a few minutes. The thought of leaving hickeys on you like a teenager is sickeningly nostalgic. You’re probably going to try to forget this when they’re done, aren’t you? But you won’t be able to, not when you’re covered in love bites and bruises. You’re going to be marked up for weeks.
Fuck, he’s hard.
Too impatient to bother taking off your panties, Dabi just pushes them aside to gain access to your damp cunt. His fingers feel hot—too hot, almost unbearably hot; you feel like you could melt into a puddle and your pussy is certainly slick enough as he pets your clit and slides one finger in, then two… You whimper and shake your head, silently denying what’s happening to you. The intrusion is uncomfortable, but Dabi’s fingers quickly find that rough patch inside of you that makes you want to beg like an animal. You hate it, but it feels good.
“She’s so tight,” Dabi says with something like awe in his voice. You can hear Shigaraki panting behind your back.
“Get on with it,” Shigaraki says.
“Don’t tell me what to do.”
For a second you just feel Dabi’s humid breath against your dripping cunt before he closes the space between the two of you and his tongue slides onto you, laving over your cunt to come to a rest on your clit. A sound you’ve never heard yourself make before forces its way out of your mouth as Dabi eats you out in earnest, rubbing his tongue against your clit in a stuttering rhythm that gives you no time to catch your breath.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Your head rolls back onto Shigaraki’s shoulder. You feel like crying for a million reasons at once. Maybe you’re already crying—the sounds you’re making are almost like sobs. You want him to stop. You never want him to stop. Your hands twitch as you fight the impulse to fist them in the villain’s hair and pin him down between your thighs.
“Fuck, oh fuck, no stop please stop, ah…!” The stream of gibberish coming out of your mouth crescendoes into a real sob as you feel your climax coming. No—you can’t—you can’t cum here, in this broken-down bar, on the tongue of a villain, but it doesn’t matter that you can’t, because you’re going to cum anyway.
“Please don’t, please let me go—“ You writhe uncontrollably as the desire to cum sweeps over you, but Dabi just curls one arm around your thigh and pulls his face away so he can push his fingers back in, angling his palm to grind roughly over your clit. The harsh, rough texture after the warm wet softness of his tongue is enough to push you over the edge and you cry out your orgasm, your pussy clenching onto Dabi’s fingers as he works them in and out of you.
Unable to support yourself, you crumple like paper, and only the two villains you’re sandwiched between keep you upright.
“Fucking finally,” Shigaraki growls, and he pushes you down so your knees scrape painfully into the rubble. Your earlier resistance was cute, but so is your dazed compliance as he pulls your hips up to meet his.
“You’re going first?” Dabi asks incredulously. After he did all that work getting you off? No way.
“You can use her mouth,” Shigaraki tells him. His cock is straining against his pants and he groans as he releases it and rubs it over your panties. He could decay them, but…they’re cute. Pale pink, peach-pink, except for the wet spot over your cunt. Precum is already dribbling out of his cock as he pulls your panties to the side and lines it up with your pussy. Jesus-fucking-christ, you’re wet, sopping and slimy. Doesn’t that mean you’re begging to get filled up? Shigaraki hears himself sigh as he slides the head of his cock up and down your slit so it’ll be wet enough to go in.
You’re still out of it, dizzy from your orgasm and the tension of the situation, but you snap back to your senses with the feeling of something hard pushed up to your entrance. “Wait!” you yelp for what feels like the hundredth time. The gravel scattered over the wreckage where you’ve been forced onto your hands and knees digs painfully into your flesh as you pull away from Shigaraki, but he holds fast to your hips with pinkies raised.
“Uh-uh,” Dabi admonishes with a grin, as if he’s reprimanding a dog for not coming when called. He settles himself in front of your front and kneels again. Your hair is mussed but still silky soft and he takes a moment to enjoy the way the strands slip over his skin before he tangles his fingers close to your scalp and yanks your head in his direction, forcing your cheek to chafe against the crotch of his pants. It’s not difficult to tell what the the thick bulge is through the fabric, and you try to flinch away only to be caught again and immobilized.
“You’re going to take care of us,” Dabi tells you. “Like I took care of you. Okay?”
No, it’s not okay, it’s absolutely not okay, and you would say so if you didn’t see Dabi’s expression darken at your obvious denial and feel a wave of acrid heat coming from his hand in your hair. The smell is worse than the feeling, honestly—you’ve had enough run-ins with hair curlers and flat irons to recognize the smell of hair when it’s three seconds away from burning. “Okay! Okay,” you answer, panicked, voice muffled by the fabric of Dabi’s pants.
“Good girl,” he purrs, and the heat fades.
“I’m not waiting any longer,” Shigaraki says from behind you.
“Then don’t.”
You whine, too scared to try to get away again or even plead with them to let you go, but it doesn’t matter. Shigaraki’s cock presses into your pussy, and there’s nothing you can do to stop him as he slides into you, inch by inch, torturously slow. Is there anything to bite down on? You need to do something, anything to distract from the pain of Shigaraki’s cock stretching you out. He’s big, impossibly big.
Eyes squeezed shut, you bite your lip until you can taste copper and scrabble around blindly until your hand finds loose fabric to grip. It’s something of Dabi’s, probably the coat he’s wearing if you remember correctly, but your brain isn’t exactly working right at the moment—
“You were right…shit, she’s…she’s so fucking tight.” Shigaraki’s voice is low and labored with the effort of not thrusting into you all at once. “Feels like…she’s trying to push me out…”
Fuck it, he thinks. Would it really be so bad if he did push all the way into you in one stroke? It’s better to just get it over with, isn’t it? Yeah…you’d probably prefer him to do it quickly. And besides, he can’t wait another second to feel you all the way up to the base of his cock.
Your strangled whimper is drowned out by his satisfied groan as he shoves the rest of the way into you in a single sudden thrust. The pain knocks the breath out of you in a gasp, and your eyes fly open as you clutch Dabi’s coat like a lifeline.
“It hurts—!”
“Yeah…yeah, I bet it does,” Shigaraki pants, holding your hips steady as he thrusts in and out of you. The bored nonchalance of earlier is gone, replaced by a feral intensity as his cock carves its way through your pussy. If you didn’t know better, you’d think there’s something affectionate in his voice.
For Shigaraki’s part, he can hardly think of anything aside from the soft, hot, wet cunt wrapped over his dick. It’s taking every vestige of concentration he has left to make sure he’s holding a single finger on each hand away from your skin. It’s pure bliss. Your body was made to be fucked like this. He wants to live inside your pussy, he wants to do this every day, every minute. Fucking you raw is the best he’s felt in months…years. And it doesn’t hurt that your quirk is still working on him, still sending pleasurable shocks of energy that make him feel simultaneously like he could keep you pinned down for hours and like he could cum any second.
“Oh, she’s crying,” Dabi says, tilting your chin up so he can look into your eyes. You flinch and try to jerk your head away, but his hand is still holding you by your hair and he’s so much stronger than you are. They both are, even without using their quirks. “Look at me.”
You comply, more by reflex than any real desire to obey. It’s pretty striking to Dabi how cute you look as Shigaraki pounds into you so fast and deep you can hardly catch your breath. Your eyes are glittering with unshed tears, your tits bounce with every thrust, and you’re still holding onto Dabi’s coat like your life depends on it. It’s almost like you’re pulling him closer. Adorable.
“She can…take it,” Shigaraki responds breathily between thrusts. “Such a good whore, taking my big cock in her tight little pussy…”
The backhanded compliment jars you and you feel hot tears spill over your cheeks. “I’m—not—a—whore,” you manage to say, each word punctuated with Shigaraki’s skin slapping against yours.
“Really?” Shigaraki’s pace slows and he leans closer to you so he can reach an arm around and swirl two fingers against your clit. You mewl like a kitten at the unexpected stimulation and he laughs rudely. “Feels so good…can’t believe the heroes don’t want to fuck you like this all the time…”
You shake your head desperately and bury your face in Dabi’s chest, barely noticing him stroking your hair and then reaching down to unzip his pants.
“No, no, I bet that’s what you do as a sidekick, right?” Shigaraki’s thrusts are back to frenzied jerks, and he rubs over your clit just as roughly. “Spread your legs for your hero…you’d make a great personal cocksleeve. Or maybe they rotate you around so every pro hero gets a turn…?”
“No, I don’t! No! Ah— ahnnn…” The denials pierce the air uselessly as the villain’s cock fills you up again and again. You’re not a whore, you’re not…even if it’s getting harder and harder to ignore the growing pressure of Shigaraki teasing your clit in time with his cock rubbing against your sweet spot. It still hurts—he’s so big, bigger than anyone you’ve ever had sex with before, but there’s no way you’re going to admit to yourself that it’s starting to feel good.
“…Is my cock better than All Might’s?” Shigaraki’s words are cut off by his own grunt of pleasure as your cunt twitches around him.
“Shut the fuck up,” Dabi cuts in. “I’m sick of hearing a guy’s voice moaning. I’m going to get soft.”
Past the point of comprehending the situation, you look up at him gratefully, only to reel back in shock as Dabi frees his own cock from his pants and it brushes against your cheek. Trying to pull away from him is more instinct than rational thought, but he holds you just as easily as before and forces two fingers into your mouth. You tense, ready to bite down, (and hopefully take a few knuckles off) but he sees it coming and suddenly your mouth is horribly burning hot.
“You’re going to suck my cock now,” says Dabi conversationally, extinguishing the flame almost as soon as he started it. It’s not so bad—probably more like a coffee burn than anything else—but you’re coughing and spitting anyway. “Say yes.”
“…Yes,” you whisper, voice barely intelligible.
“Good little sidekick. And you’re going to be very careful. You’re not going to use teeth.”
You nod, unable to mount a defense with Shigaraki mercilessly fucking you from behind.
“I want to hear you say it.”
“Y-Yes!” you squeal as Shigaraki finds a particularly sensitive spot inside you.
“Good.” Dabi drags your head down to hover over his cock and massages your jaw until it falls open. “Suck.”
One of his hands falls to your shoulder to try to stabilize you, but you can’t help feeling the threat in the motion. You quickly duck down and attempt to ignore the heady smell of sweat and precum as you trace your tongue up the underside of his dick. He’s big too, maybe thicker than Shigaraki, and you hate yourself for feeling lucky that it’s not this cock inside your pussy right now.
The stunt Dabi pulled burning your mouth made you salivate, and you let drool coat your tongue as you lick around the head. But it’s not working—you rock forward every time Shigaraki stuffs his dick back in your aching pussy, and Dabi’s cock smears over your mouth haphazardly.
“I said suck. Not lick.” Suddenly (although you don’t know why you keep expecting some kind of warning before these villains find a new way to violate you), Dabi grabs the back of your head and shoves his cock into your mouth. Your throat constricts involuntarily as the thick head triggers your gag reflex, and all three of you shiver in unison.
“Do…do that again,” Shigaraki says, voice strained. “She tightens up…when you do that.”
Dabi smirks and thrusts into you again, relishing the warm, humid cavern of your throat around his cock along with the pure swell of energy from your quirk enhancing his. His rhythm matches Shigaraki’s and his cock hits the back of your throat with every rapid pump, making you gag and clench like you’re trying to milk the cum out of him. What a perfect little slut… He can see from Shigaraki’s sloppy movements that you’re squeezing around his cock every time too.
The feeling of having one villain cock buried in your pussy while another ravages your throat is unthinkable, even more so with Shigaraki’s fingers on your clit coaxing out an earth-shaking orgasm. But you’d almost be able to forget what’s happening—god knows you’re delirious with sensation, barely able to keep track of who’s doing what to you—if not for the sound. The wet slap of Shigaraki’s hips against your ass, the horrible squelching from your (dripping wet, even if you don’t want to admit it) pussy as his cock pistons in and out of you, your choked moans and gagging noises, and above it all, the unrestrained voices of the villains fucking into you.
You feel like a fuck toy, a sex doll, used without mercy by the two most evil people you can think of…and you’re about to cum.
Your voice is getting louder by the second, and the pulsing of your cunt around Shigaraki’s cock is telling him exactly how close you are. He curls his body over yours to get a better angle to rub your clit, enjoying your high-pitched whine in response. “Yeah…that’s right…good girl. Cum on my cock…like a good little sidekick.”
You keen and goosebumps rise on your skin as Shigaraki licks at the sheen of sweat on your back. He feels your climax almost as soon as you do… If your scream wasn’t stifled by Dabi’s dick in your mouth, everyone within a one-mile radius would know you were getting fucked silly, yeah? The walls of your pussy clamp down on Shigaraki’s cock, your body begging for his cum, and he grips your ass to make sure you can’t get away as he comes to his own orgasm inside of you.
Fuck… Shigaraki could die right now and be happy. He keeps stroking your clit, knowing it’s cruel, knowing you’ll be overstimulated and sensitive and that it’ll hurt to keep touching you like this after you already came, and not caring because every time the tips of his fingers push that little magic button, you shiver and squeeze him like you’re trying to milk him dry.
Shigaraki gives a few last thrusts, pushing his cum deeper into your body, fucking it into you so you’ll be dripping white for hours, and then finally pulls out. The slurping sound your cunt makes as his cock leaves your pussy is obscene. So is the cloudy trail of mixed white and clear fluid that connects your pussy and the head of his cock until he pulls it away. He loves it.
Knowing that Shigaraki came—inside you, no less, the inconsiderate bastard—Dabi grips the back of your head and tugs you down to deepthroat him. Your walls twitch involuntarily and Dabi groans, letting himself shoot his load down your throat. “Yes…yeah…yeah…just like that. Swallow.”
You don’t swallow. You don’t do anything but gag on his cum and gasp as he thrusts into you. Dabi pulls you off of him, annoyed and ready to threaten you into submission again…until your head lolls to the side and he can see that your eyes are closed.
“Shit, she passed out.”
“…What? Are you kidding?”
Dabi slaps your face lightly. You wince in your sleep but don’t wake up. “Nope. Must’ve been when she came the second time.”
“Is she…” Shigaraki trails off, not sure how to end the question. ‘Okay’ isn’t exactly right.
“She’s breathing, if that’s what you’re asking.”
The two of them wait for a moment, but you don’t move. When he catches his breath, Shigaraki wipes off his dick and pulls up his pants. Dabi does the same. Without them holding you, you flop down into the fetal position on the broken concrete. “What now?” Shigaraki asks.
Dabi wipes the sweat from his forehead. “You tell me, leader. I’m surprised Kurogiri hasn’t opened another warp gate to get you back. Guessing you don’t have your phone either?”
“…We can go to Giran’s place to meet up. They’re probably waiting for us there,” Shigaraki says, scratching at his neck.
“Do you have cab fare?”
“I don’t have my wallet on me. You?”
“Not enough for a cab. We’ll have to take the train. You can owe me.”
Shigaraki looks down at you. You make a pitiful scene, naked except for your boots, sports bra, and cum-soaked panties. Your neck is bruised red and purple, and you’re shaking, shivering in the cool air now that the sun has sunk further toward the horizon and you’re not being touched. “Are we going to leave her here?”
“What, you want to bring her on the train with us? You don’t think that’s gonna look suspicious?”
“Well…” Their eyes meet and Shigaraki knows Dabi’s thinking the same thing he is. You have a lot of potential as an asset. They haven’t even had the chance to see how your quirk boosting works in combat, but Shigaraki almost wants to pick a fight just to give it a try.
And fighting power aside, Shigaraki isn’t a fan of the possibility that he’ll never get to fuck you again.
“Yeah, I know. But she’s a pro hero’s sidekick. She can’t be too hard to find.” Dabi shrugs off his coat and crouches next to you. You’re limp enough that he has no trouble lifting you into his lap and guiding your arms through the sleeves of his coat. Once you’re wrapped in the black fabric, he does up the buttons, combs through your hair with his fingers, wipes the mixed cum and spittle off your chin, and admires his handiwork. Sure, anyone looking closely at you will know at least a little about what happened—you’re still sweating in the cold, you have that undeniable ‘just got fucked’ look all over you, and the smell of sex is overpowering. But at least you won’t have to walk back to the rescue tent in your filthy underwear.
In your sleep, you nuzzle into Dabi’s chest, reaching blindly toward the source of warmth. He grins and strokes the back of your neck, soothing warm fingers over the bruised skin there and enjoying his last opportunity to touch you and feel your quirk working…for now, at least. “You know, I wonder why villains don’t get sidekicks. Seems a little unfair, right?”
Shigaraki’s sneer matches Dabi’s as he bends down to run his fingernails over your cheek, almost hard enough to hurt. “I was just thinking the same thing.”
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leediavhs · 2 years
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Maybe this is a child’s perspective. (Bo Sinclair)
bad writing? on MY tumblr blog? it is, unfortunately, astronomically more likely than you would think. Alexa please play First Love by Mr Min Yoongi. Thank you so much Alexa. 
Must disclaim the way I’ve written this is entirely my own interpretation of the character (or at least the character before... y’know... the murderous tendencies.) (which I’d also like to write about but it depends on how this one works out lol). If this isn’t how others see it that’s completely okay :]
(This is based time wise on the opening scene alone because I am not too confident in deciding a different unseen time, so Lester isn’t mentioned here. Sorry bestie m(_ _)m)
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Most would argue that the world is confusing for all children, but there is no denying that it is especially confusing for children like Bo. 
At first he assumed that all children lived like this, but there came a point where he couldn’t help but notice that despite the fact neither of them really spoke that often through words, it was a failure of his but a virtue of Vincent’s. Vincent was capable of being quiet, but Bo was only ever quiet in disobedience. Apparently. He would never know.
How was he supposed to explain that he could hear his father walking around too loud? He could hear his mother boiling the wax and water in the kitchen too loud. Vincent was eating too loud. The window was open so he could hear the leaves and the birds too loud and HIS shoes were too loud and his clothes were too tight and he can think it but he can’t SPEAK it.  
At best his silence will get him an aggressive clip ‘round the ear and a few days of petty insults from his father. 
The moment his father approaches him, however, he can physically feel his heart drop to his feet, through the floor and straight to the deepest circle of Hell. Not again. Not now, please not now. Bo wasn’t sure how long it would take for him to be happy again if he was taken to the chair now. He was already crying and unfortunately that was already enough to condemn him to the chair if either of his parents were in a particularly bad mood. 
The words went in one ear and out the other because Bo was just... so tired of this routine. The questions come so quickly and the only one his child mind registers was when his father demanded to know ‘what the hell he was cryin’ for?’. The closest thing to an ‘are you okay?’ Bo thinks he’ll ever get.
He opens his mouth desperate for the words he wants to express to come out, but all he manages is a small wail, that which most would expect from a crying child. But in this household, the fact that he didn’t answer the question properly in his ‘fit’ of upset was a sign of disrespect. Misbehaviour. 
He begins to scream and cry, hoping so fully that it’ll make his father understand that no, he wasn’t ignoring him, he wasn’t being rude and refusing to speak! Why couldn’t he see how badly Bo wishes he could explain what was wrong, even at the expense of being ridiculed for being ‘sensitive’. Somewhere in his mind he thought it’d be far better to deal with the ridicule than the highchair.
The kicking and louder screaming was reflexive at this point, because much as he knows that it’s his fault (because it’s all always his fault), he’d give absolutely anything to keep his feet on the ground. Could his parents not tell that something was wrong? Or did they simply not care?
For Bo, as a child, for the longest time it was “What am I doing wrong. Please, explain to me. I don’t understand. What else can I do to make you not hate me?”.
After realising that he’d never get an answer, all of a sudden, none of it mattered anymore. 
Why should it?
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That’s it! I can only apologise so many times! All criticism, constructive or not, is welcome. It’ll help probably. Also if you read it and like it I appreciate that a GREAT deal tyvm. Bye lmfao!
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twst-bs · 3 years
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TWST Dorm Leaders and an Anxious MC
This is the first piece of written specifically for this blog!
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Riddle: Had they broken a rule?
Even if Riddle had improved by leaps and bounds in the anger management department, he still held his rules in high regard. And the way his brows furrowed when he looked at them from across the table, was he angry about something? He couldn’t exactly punish them - they had no magic to lock away, and they were a dorm leader in their own right, so he didn’t have any right to discipline them, but what if they had done something on a personal level? Offended him in some way? They had barely mastered social cues in their own world, what if they messed up in Twisted Wonderland? What if -
...Riddle had said something, and was clearly waiting for a reply. In their internal panic, they had missed whatever it was.
“I-I’m sorry, Riddle, I was kind of zoning out. What did you say?” Were there rules against zoning out? Probably, that seemed like something that would annoy him.
“I asked if you were alright.”
“...Huh?”
Riddle set down his tea cup - it was a pretty, delicate little thing, gilded gold along the edges and handle, with roses painted beneath the rim. His mother would be mortified if she knew he was drinking strawberry milk tea with an ungodly amount of sugar out of it, Riddle had once said with a small, almost sheepish smile. That same mouth was now downturned as he regarded them with concern in his wide gray eyes.
“You seemed to be under a lot of stress lately,” he spoke slowly, like they were a frightened animal. Maybe they were. “Is everything alright? Are you sleeping well?”
They weren’t, but that was more of a side effect of their stress than the cause of it. They idly tapped their fingers against their own tea cup, a matching one to Riddle’s. They had been drinking lavender tea in an effort to calm their nerves, but it clearly hadn’t worked.
“I’m fine, promise,” they grinned, hoping it looked convincing.
By the way Riddle’s face scrunched up, it did not.
“Are you sure?” he asked. “I know I’m not the best at handling emotions, but if I can help in any way…” Riddle trailed off, looking embarrassed.
They felt their stomach twist in horror. These little tea parties were the highlight of their week, a little moment of reprieve for the both of them to just relax and enjoy each other’s company. And they had gone and ruined it because they couldn’t figure out how to human properly.
“I’m sorry!” they burst out. “I’ve been so anxious lately, and I haven’t been able to sleep, and I’m worried about my grades slipping because I don’t know the first thing about magic and -”
They didn’t even notice they were starting to spiral until Riddle had reached across the table and grasped onto their hand. Their chest was heaving with barely-contained sobs, and they weren’t sure if the trembling they felt in their hands was theirs or Riddle’s.
“It’s okay, it’s okay,” he murmured. “Deep breaths, now.”
He was parroting what Trey would tell him to help him calm down, they knew, but it was good advice. They knew that he had talked Riddle down from many an anxiety attack before, but the fact that Riddle, someone who suffered from severe mental health problems, was the one calming them down made something sour begin climbing up their throat.
“I-I’m making everything worse…” they mumbled, squeezing Riddle’s hand tighter. “I should be able to handle this without freaking out, but…”
Riddle reached out and brushed away a tear they didn’t know had fallen away with the back of his knuckle. “I know better than anyone how it feels to be under pressure.” he sighed. “Please, don’t think you have to deal with all of this stress on your own.”
Leona: “Will you sit still for five minutes?”
They hadn’t thought they had been making that much noise. Certainly not enough to wake Leona up from his nap, that was damn near impossible. So either the floorboards in Ramshackle dorm were worse than they thought, or Leona hadn’t actually been sleeping.
“Sorry,” they mumbled, staring down at the worksheet in front of them. They had been trying to finish this homework for hours, and the incantations were starting to blur together. What language were these even written in? Were they in the demonic section or nature section?
Leona sat up from where he had unceremoniously plopped himself on their bed. “You’re fidgeting like a rabbit, herbivore.”
“So you weren’t sleeping after all.”
“Hard to sleep when I can practically smell your anxiety.”
“Then go sleep somewhere else.”
Leona clicked his tongue, sounding annoyed, but they both knew he secretly enjoyed it when they got snappy with him. Not a whole lot of people had the guts to give him sass, and he liked having someone to verbally spar with. “And miss watching you squirm?”
“I’m not squirming.” they bit back.
“So that chair squeaking was just the ghosts, then?”
“Maybe.”
They could practically hear Leona roll his eyes, but they still didn’t take their eyes off of their textbook.
“Staring a hole into the page isn’t going to solve the equation.”
“How do you know?”
“Shut up and get over here.”
That made them look up. Leona had stood up, motioning them over with a tilt of his head. “You’re taking a break.”
“But -”
“You’re. Taking. A. Break.” he punctuated his words by grabbing the back of their desk chair and pulling. Just enough to jolt them, they could tell by the way the chair stopped that he was purposely holding it steady. Even so, they couldn’t help the small noise of surprise they made.
“Leona, I have to finish this!”
“You’ve been staring at the same page since I got here, you aren’t finishing anything.”
Subconsciously, they knew that taking a break would probably be good for them. But the part of their brain that was panicking about failing was telling them that if they took a break they were essentially giving up. And giving up wasn’t an option.
“Herbivore.”
The soft growl in Leona’s voice snapped them out of their thoughts. Leona had gone back over to the bed, flopped onto his back with his arms splayed out. To anyone else, it looked like he was just lazing about, but they had been with him long enough to realize that this particular position was an invitation.
It was then that they realized just how sore their neck and back were from being hunched over their desk. And how badly their eyes were burning from staring at the miniscule writing in their textbook. And how their legs and arms were one wrong move away from cramping because of how tense they had been.
...Okay, yeah, maybe a cuddle break was in order.
Leona grunted when they plopped on top of him, face buried in the crook on his neck. “Shit, herbivore, that hurt.”
“Suck it up.” they muttered, internally melting a little when he brought his arms up to wrap around them.
“Tch,” again, he sounded annoyed, but they knew better. “Learn to take better care of yourself.”
Azul: There was so much stuff to do.
Even if Crowley made sure they didn’t have to worry about money, a lot of the responsibilities of dorm upkeep still fell on them. They had to buy groceries, clean the whole dorm, make sure the place didn’t fall apart, follow Grimm around and make sure he hadn’t scorched any curtains...and that was all after they had done the assigned homework.
All things considered, they did a pretty good job, but sometimes they laid awake at night thinking of all of the things that needed to be done. Which left them in a less-than-ideal state for class the next day.
Gr-gr-grmmble…
They winced, hoping no one heard that. They had slept soundly through their alarm this morning, to the point where Grimm had to slap them awake, and therefore didn’t have time to snag breakfast. And it was really hard to focus on Trein’s droning lecture when they were both hungry and sleep-deprived.
Ace looked at them out of the corner of his eye with a raised eyebrow, but thankfully didn’t say anything. It might have been because the last time they got busted talking in class the spiel from Trein had been worse than if Riddle had just collared them, but still.
Finally, after what felt like an eternity, Trein dismissed the class. They still had Alchemy before they could go grab lunch, and even though mixing potentially explosive potions in their current state seemed like a terrible idea, Grimm skipped class enough. They didn’t need to add to his track record. So, feeling distinctly zombie-like, they made their way through the halls towards the alchemy lab.
Maybe they could dash by Sam’s shop really quick and grab a protein bar just to hold them over? No, Trein had yammered on until the last possible second, and they only had a few minutes before their next class started. There was no time. Maybe -
“Oof!”
“Whoa!”
Well, that’s what they got for not watching where they were going. Their books clattered to the ground as they ran headfirst into someone.
“Ah, damn, I’m sorry,” they bent down to pick up their books. Now they really were going to be late.
“Are you alright?” they looked up to see Azul stooping down to help them. “I didn’t hurt you, did I?”
“No, I’m fine!” they grinned sheepishly. “Just wasn’t paying attention, is all.”
Azul frowned, picking up their Alchemy textbook before straightening. “You look exhausted. Another rough night?”
“Is it that obvious?”
Pale blue eyes widened and Azul flushed red. “I-I didn’t mean it like that!” he stammered, “I just - I merely - “ he cleared his throat, quickly recomposing his gentlemanly demeanor. “I’m sorry, that came out wrong.”
“Relax, Azul,” they laughed, standing up from their crouched position. “I was just teasing you.”
“Must you do that in public?”
“Are you saying you like it when I tease you in private?”
“That is not what I said.”
They laughed again, reaching for their books, but Azul held them out of reach. “Hey, come on,” they pouted. “I’m going to be late.”
“Seriously, are you alright? You look kind of pale.”
They sighed. “I didn’t sleep very well last night, and then overslept this morning, so I haven’t eaten anything. Happy now?”
“Not really, no.” Azul frowned. “Come on, I’ll treat you to lunch at the lounge.”
“But I have class.”
Azul kept walking, and they had no choice but to follow considering he still had most of their books. “I’m sure Crewel will understand if you miss one class. You have an otherwise perfect track record.”
“How do you know that?” they asked. “We don’t have any classes together.”
“I have my ways.” Azul smiled cryptically at them.
“Which one of them was it?”
“Jade.”
“Knew it.”
Kalim: “...and then, there was this one time, the baby elephants broke out of their cages…”
They wanted to pay attention, they really did. Kalim was a great story-teller, even if he was a bit all over the place. And stories from a magical noble family, no matter how mundane to Kalim, were always fascinating. They could sit here and listen for hours.
Well, usually, anyway.
Nothing in particular was wrong, really. They had just woken up feeling off. It could have been anything. They could have had a weird dream, they could have forgotten something minor, the planets could be slightly unaligned, it didn’t matter. It was just an off day, and they were feeling it.
“...hello? You still in there?”
They nearly hit the ceiling when Kalim snapped his fingers in front of their face. Where they had been sitting there being anxious about trying to figure out what was making them anxious, Kalim had crawled across the floor where the two of them had been having lunch in his room. He had wanted to have a picnic on the flying carpet, but Jamil had put his foot down. Literally, he had stood on the carpet so Kalim couldn’t ride it.
“Sorry!” they yelped, almost knocking their tea over as they were forcibly brought back into the present.
“You looked kinda worried there,” Kalim frowned, quite an unusual look for him. “Everything alright?”
“I’m fine,” they looked down at their lap and bit their lip to stifle a gasp. While they had been worrying, they had subconsciously been picking at the skin around their fingernails. There were a couple tiny drops of blood beading up around their nail beds. Maybe Kalim wouldn’t notice?
“Hey, you’re bleeding!”
Damn.
Kalim’s expressive, ruby-red eyes went wide and he lunged forward to grab their hands. “When did that happen? How did that happen? Do you need to go to the infirmary?”
“Kalim, I’m fine, there's barely any blood.” they sighed, gently prying their hands away from him. “I do that a lot.”
“You just randomly start bleeding?!”
“No, Kalim,” they laughed softly, shaking their head. “I pick at my nails when I get anxious.”
Kalim pouted, eyebrows furrowing in confusion. “You’re anxious? Why are you anxious? Did I do something wrong?”
“No, no, it isn’t you, I promise!” they idly swiped at their nails. The places they had picked open had already closed. “It’s just...it’s a thing. I just have anxiety in general, is all.”
Frowning, Kalim sat back down in his original spot. “Isn’t there a way to fix that?”
“There’s a few ways, but none of them are quick.” they shrugged. “I was doing better, but suddenly coming here brought back a lot of my old habits.”
“Hm…” Kalim stared at them intently before the apparent storm passed and he brightened up again. “Well, we’ll just have to get you new habits to replace the old ones!”
“I...don’t think that’s quite how that works…”
“Here!” Kalim reached down and took a bangle off of his wrist. It was gold, with an elephant charm hanging off of it. With a big, eye-closing grin, he handed it to them. “When I was little, I used to get scolded for squirming a lot, so my mom told me to play with a small toy instead of running around. I know it’s a bit different, but maybe, instead of picking at your fingers, you can play with the charm instead? Would that help?”
For a moment, they were quiet, just staring at the shiny gold bracelet in their hand. Then, a small smile split across their face. “Yeah, I think it’ll help.”
Vil: “You haven’t been sleeping.”
“Hello to you too, Vil.” they sighed, flopping unceremoniously onto the stone bench beside him. Usually they at least tried to hold themselves to a higher standard when they were with the Vil Schoenheit, but they just didn’t have the energy. “How could you tell I haven’t been sleeping?”
“Unless the undead look is a new fashion trend, but bags under your eyes are very telling.” he reached over to tuck their hair behind their ear, both in an affectionate gesture and to get it out of the way so he could assess them better. “You’re also breaking out. Are you stressed?”
“Isn’t everybody stressed?”
“Don’t get existential, just answer the question.”
They huffed, letting their head rest on the hand that was still at their ear. “Yes, okay, I’m stressed, happy?”
Students were watching the two of them on their way through the gardens, but Vil paid them no mind. He had plenty of practice at ignoring the masses. “We’ve discussed this, haven’t we? Mental health is just as important as physical health.”
“I know, I know, I’m sorry.” they closed their eyes, unable to look at him.
“I didn’t mean that to be scolding,” this time, Vil sighed. “Just a reminder that you need to take care of yourself. Maybe a spa day is in order.”
That did sound nice. “Can we do hair masks?”
“Of course, my dear.”
Idia: “Big Brother, you have a guest!”
Idia fought the urge to groan when Ortho popped his head into the room. Why did people always have to bother him on raid night?
Just as he was about to tell Ortho to send whoever it was away, a second head appeared.
“Hey, Idia.” the Ramshackle prefect sounded drained, enough to make him type a quick “AFK” into the chat and turn to them.
“Everything...alright?”
They stepped fully into the room, returning Ortho’s cheerful wave before closing the door and collapsing face-first onto Idia’s bed. “There’s too many people out there.”
“Mood.”
“And they all want me to do stuff for them.”
“Also mood.”
“So can I hide in here for a little? Please?” they turned their head to look at him with pleading eyes. “I’ll be quiet, I know it’s raid night.”
Idia turned to glance at the screen. The team he had gotten saddled with this time around was garbo - three tanks and no healer, honestly - so he was fairly confident they weren’t finishing the dungeon. Shaking his head, he clicked a few buttons and the screen returned to his desktop.
“Bunch of losers anyway,” he mumbled, getting up from his chair. “Wanna play something else?”
“Can we play Skull Girls?”
A few moments later, they were sitting side-by-side on the bed with the opening for the game playing on one of Idia’s monitors
This was what they needed. No people besides the two of them, no lazy Headmasters asking them to take care of problems way beyond their physical and emotional capacity, no chaotic cats threatening to light everything on fire. Just a nice little break.
Slowly, careful, so as not to startle him, they leaned over until their head was resting on his shoulder. He tensed, but his hair didn’t turn red, so they counted that as progress.
“Thanks, Idia.”
“N-N-No problem.”
Malleus: Okay, so this probably hadn’t been one of their better ideas.
Sleep just wasn’t happening tonight. All of the things they had to worry about kept running through their head, and every time they thought they were about to drop off, something else popped up. Eventually, they had given up and decided to take a walk.
Unfortunately, they had completely forgotten how cold it could get at night. Even with the jacket they had pulled on over their pajamas, they were shivering.
“You’re up late.”
The deep voice startled them, but they managed to compose themselves before turning around. “So are you, Tsunotarou.”
Malleus Draconia smiled softly at the nickname, looking absolutely ethereal with the small green lights flitting around him. “It’s dangerous to be out alone at night, Child of Man.”
“The gargoyles will protect me.” they said cheekily. Malleus chuckled.
“And what of me?” he asked. “Do I not get the honor of protecting you?”
“You can fight the gargoyles for the honor.”
Again, Malleus laughed, before noticing the subtle tremors that wracked the human’s body. “You’re cold.”
“This wasn’t my best-laid plan.” they sighed, tugging their jacket closer to their body. “I always forget how cold it is at night.”
Malleus hummed before opening his arms. “Come here, then. I’ll keep you warm.”
They hesitated for a moment before stepping into his embrace, sighing as his body heat seeped into their being. “Wow, you really are warm.”
“Dragons run hotter than humans,” he explained, tugging their head beneath his chin. “It’s why I have no trouble roaming around at night.”
“Lucky.”
“Well,” he murmured. “I’ll simply have to accompany you on your nighttime adventures to keep you warm.”
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whumpmatsus · 3 years
Note
Hi! 👋 Two things! First, a fic request (again Ichimatsu whump because I'm sorry but I have to): Ichimatsu takes a hit meant for one of his brothers (be it accidental or on purpose) and is pretty badly injured. Cue the rest of the Matsu Bros. to the rescue!
And second, um...would you be okay with it if, let's just say hypothetically, I made fan art of some of these fics? 😺
FIRST OF ALL thank you for this because it's LITERALLY the longest thing I've written on this blog so far!! so I hope u enjoy it fully uwu
Matsu Bros plus a cameo by Mama Matsu!! <3
second... YESSSS THAT IS ALWAYS DEFINITELY OKAY!!! aaaaaaa you flatter me <3 <3 <3
-
When Ichimatsu first wakes up in the hospital, he doesn’t remember why he’s here. Hell, he barely even remembers who he is.
All he really knows initially is that he’s in a lot of pain. It hurts to breathe, his face is kind of numb in spots, and his leg feels weirdly positioned, plus heavy and uncomfortable. His shoulder feels kind of sore… as does his wrist.
There’s also some strange fog drifting around his mind that’s making it difficult to really focus on anything.
He feels a hand in his own. Not very tight… he thinks it’s someone giving just enough pressure to let him know they’re here. That he’s not alone. That’s comforting, he thinks.
Then he starts to remember things.
He was out walking with some of the others; Karamatsu and maybe Totty? What they were doing is a little fuzzy and isn’t coming to him instantly. He just recalls they were together, walking on the sidewalk. They came to a crosswalk and waited their turn. Karamatsu, as the eldest out of the three, stepped forward first to cross.
Ichimatsu thinks Karamatsu’s intention was that he would hold Totty’s hand to keep the youngest safe while they crossed, and Ichimatsu could follow after them. He doesn’t believe Totty had any objections.
They waited. They followed all the rules they were supposed to. The crosswalk light told them they were allowed to go.
It was someone else who broke the rules, tearing through a stop sign, the car headed right for his brothers. He… thinks he remembers Totty had only just come forward to grab Karamatsu’s hand, so he wasn’t quite there yet. Karamatsu was the one in the most danger.
He doesn’t remember much else. Running forward, pushing his baby brother behind him and yelling for his big brother to move.Then an impact. A lot of pain. Black and nothingness and warmth.
Now he’s awake. Putting the pieces together, he’s pretty sure he shoved Karamatsu forward and ended up getting hit by that car.
He thinks, in his haze, that the car should have hit Karamatsu, because he was the one who went first, because things happened so fast. But he’s glad it didn’t happen that way.
A couple groans catch the attention of whoever’s in the room, and he gets a squeeze to the hand. “Ichimatsu? Honey? Are you awake?”
“Mmh…” It hurts a little to move his head. He does it anyway, getting a glimpse of his mother. “… Mom…?”
It looks like she’s smiling… relieved, maybe. “Yes! Yes, my sweet boy, Mama is here.” She reaches her free hand over to gently stroke his hair. It feels nice. “Thank goodness. How do you feel?”
He closes his eyes. “I hurt.”
“Well, I should hope so! I’d be worried if you weren’t in a lot of pain right now. Do you remember what happened?”
Although he tries to move around, it’s difficult simply because it’s so painful. “Uh, yeah, kind of… I got… hit by a car, right? ― H… hey… Karamatsu and Totty… where are they? Are they okay?”
“Yes, dear, they’re both fine. Karamatsu has a couple of scrapes, but nothing serious. You, on the other hand, are lucky, young man. You’ve got a broken leg, a couple of broken ribs, and a broken wrist. You did have a dislocated shoulder, but they got that back into place. The doctor said it could have been much worse. She said you got off easy compared to some people who get hit by a car.”
She combs his bangs back in a way that mitigates any anger or frustration in her next words. “What were you thinking?”
“The car was coming for Karamatsu…” He frowns as the memory surfaces again, in slightly better detail. Damn. “… And Totty didn’t see it… he was gonna step out, too…”
Everything seemed to happen so fast. How the hell did he manage to get his older brother out of the way and keep his younger brother out of the way when everything happened so fast?
Matsuyo sighs and continues stroking his hair. “Oh, I know… they were both in tears when we all arrived. Totty was inconsolable… saying that Karamatsu would be dead if you hadn’t run forward and that he thought you were dead because you weren’t responding. I should be mad that you scared your brothers… but…”
She leans forward to kiss his forehead. “… You did a brave thing, Ichimatsu. Mama is very proud of you. I just don’t like any of you boys hurt… if you’re inclined to do this again, pull the other person back instead of taking their place. You silly boy,” she adds with an affectionate smile.
“Hah…” he laughs weakly, wincing at the pain in his chest. “Sorry, Mom. Everything hurts… I wanna go home.”
“Mhm, they’ll probably let you go pretty soon now that you’re awake. That’s the main thing they were waiting for, I think.” She moves her hand down to pat lightly at his forearm.
“Don’t worry. You’ll be home before you know it, and your family will take good care of you.”
-
Coming home is kind of weird.
Ichimatsu can’t really walk on his own. Since his leg is broken, the doctor gave him a crutch that he can use with his good hand, but it’s an awkward movement and leaves him feeling unbalanced. It’s just easier to lean on one of his brothers to walk ― in this case, Choromatsu has volunteered to help if Ichimatsu needs to walk somewhere. Though… he gets the feeling that the others would be more than happy to volunteer if the third eldest were somehow busy when he needs to get up.
Every motion, from sitting up to reaching for things to just breathing, is painful thanks to the broken ribs. There’s nothing that can really be done for those, so he’s evidently got to just suffer. He remembers the doctor saying they should feel quite a bit better in a couple of weeks. Most of this is going to take a month or more to fully heal, which is… according to Osomatsu, a ‘major boner-killer’.
Sitting around doing nothing but being in pain is going to be the end of Ichimatsu. He’s sure of that. He can’t go outside to feed the cats, and it’s difficult to cuddle with them inside with all his injuries. That alone is pretty depressing.
The pain medication they sent him home with is also a little frustrating. The first time he takes it, it makes him so tired he sleeps right through dinner.
He falls asleep on the couch in the spare room, he knows, because it’s where he has to be set up for now. There’s noway he can sleep in the futon with everyone else while he tries to heal; that runs the risk of running into someone, or having one of his brothers accidentally run into him.
His leg’s in a cast and his wrist is in a splint, to protect them as they fix themselves, but if those areas have someone roll onto them, it’ll probably result in more damage. Which means more pain and more time added to his recovery.
It’s apparently a bad idea to sleep on the couch. When he wakes up, everything is sore and screaming in pain. Justified, unfortunately, since he fell asleep in the same position he was relaxing in.
Someone else… is here? There’s something warm pressed up against his side.
He glances over to find that he’s evidently been resting on Karamatsu’s shoulder, likely for a while given that Karamatsu’s eyes are closed too. It looks dark out, and Ichimatsu’s foggy mind busies itself wondering what time it is.
There’s a soft chuckle beside him, and looking over reveals one of his big brother’s eyes is cracked open now. It’s swiftly followed by the other one, then the sudden absence of a pressure around his shoulder makes him aware that Karamatsu had an arm around him. “Awake, hm?”
“Yeah…” He tries to stretch, stopped short when a jolting pain in his chest reminds him that it’s definitely a bad idea. “Oww. I don’t even remember falling asleep.”
“That’s alright. You started to get a bit drowsy about half an hour after Osomatsu-nii-san gave you your medicine. We saved you a plate from dinner, though, if you want me to go warm it up.”
Ichimatsu blinks. “I slept through dinner?? Shit. How late is it right now?”
His brother shifts a bit more to take out his phone. “Hm… a bit after midnight.”
“Midnight?” Well, fuck. Although he can justify an hour nap or so, he’s just slept like six hours. He missed dinner, he missed going to the bathhouse, he missed maybe a game of cards before bed.
Karamatsu laughs again, his hand tousling Ichimatsu’s hair fondly. “That’s right, my brother. Don’t worry. Osomatsu-nii-san said fatigue is a side effect of your medicine, and your body needs sleep right now, anyway. So, are you hungry? Mommy made soba and yakitori for dinner, but if you’d rather have something else, just say the word. Your wish is my command!”
Honestly… he’s not really that hungry. He knows he should probably eat; his stomach is just trying to tell him not to have anything heavy. Another side effect of the medication, maybe. “Are you… sure? I kind of just feel like plain miso and rice. Other stuff doesn’t sound good.”
“Of course! I’d be delighted to go heat some up. You simply rest and I’ll…” When he goes to stand up, something catches Ichimatsu’s eye, and he grabs his brother’s hand, weakly, with his own injured one. It’s painful, but…
Karamatsu’s eyes focus on his younger brother, brows furrowing. “Ichimatsu? What’s the matter?”
It’s… that cut on Karamatsu’s face. Ichimatsu didn’t notice it before. Now that he’s a bit more alert, it’s practically all he can see. It’s not very big, maybe the length of one of their little fingers, and not deep. It looks like a scrape from falling off one’s bike or something. He thinks maybe it had a bandage on it at one point. The color has faded into something dull; the skin around is still bright pink, though, suggesting that it’s irritated despite not being cut.
His gaze shifts down to find similar wounds on Karamatsu’s hands. On the palms, where he probably got a sort of road rash when he tried to catch himself after Ichimatsu pushed him out of the way.
His own wrist protests with a violent throb as he reaches to let his fingers graze lightly over Karamatsu’s wrist. Image after image of what might have happened to him if Ichimatsu wasn’t fast enough comes unbidden into his head. Karamatsu could be the one with a broken leg or broken ribs, or it could have been worse.
“Y… you’re okay… right?” As soon as those words are out of his mouth, tears start spilling. All at once he’s pulled into a hug, loose fists resting against his back. He can’t stop himself from leaning in, pressing his face against Karamatsu’s shoulder.
He can feel the soft rumble of mirthless laughter his big brother gives. “You’re the one who was hurt, Ichimatsu. I’m only okay because of you. If you hadn’t seen… I wasn’t paying attention…”
The words, “It should have been me”, hang heavily in the air even though Karamatsu doesn’t say them.
He brushes a delicate kiss over the side of his little brother’s forehead. “Heh… you would have been a better big brother than me. You kept us all safe when I failed. You probably saved my life, you know. Thank you.”
Ichimatsu isn’t sure why it’s now that the full weight of everything has hit him. Now, when he’s home and out of danger, when everything is okay. Shouldn’t he have been falling apart when he first woke up in the hospital? It shouldn’t have taken seeing Karamatsu’s small injuries to remind him that they all could have died when he’s the one in a cast.
It’s hard to keep himself together, to keep his breathing normal so he doesn’t completely go to pieces. (Though, if he did, what better place to do so than in his older brother’s arms?) “… You’d do the same for me, right? So it’s only fair.”
“I would,” Karamatsu hums. “Without a second thought. You’re my little brother and I love you very much and if I could save you from being hurt, I would. I’m… sorry I was so careless that I couldn’t do it this time.”
Ichimatsu grunts, slipping his good arm around Karamatsu’s waist in an effort to be closer. “Don’t feel too bad. The next car’ll be yours.”
-
After eating as much as he feels like he can, Ichimatsu allows Karamatsu to help transfer him to the floor. It’s already set up with a spare futon, a blanket, and a pillow, probably because someone guessed that sleeping on the sofa wouldn’t be comfortable.
He’s still in so much pain. The shoulder that was reduced back into place aches like an old war wound, and his chest is sore even when he’s lying still. To say nothing of his wrist and his leg. His whole body feels like one giant bruise, except worse.
Although Karamatsu insists he’d be just fine to stand guard all night, after a few minutes Choromatsu comes in and sends him back to the bedroom. Ichimatsu doesn’t hear too much of the conversation ― mostly whispers that Karamatsu needs to go get some sleep, that Choromatsu is glad to take a turn.
Soon enough, though, Karamatsu relents and comes to tell Ichimatsu goodnight before he leaves the room. Ichimatsu gets one more kiss on the head and a reassuring squeeze to his good hand and exchanges another round of “I love you”s with his brother, then heads into the bedroom.
Choromatsu came prepared, setting his own pillow up on the couch and tossing a blanket at the end just in case he needs it. “So… how are you feeling, Ichimatsu?”
“Mm… like crap, kinda.” He looks over to where his brother is trying to get settled in. “I can’t believe I slept six hours and I’m still tired. What kind of shit did they put me on?”
“Hah… y-yeah, it’s the good stuff, probably. Is it at least helping the pain a little?”
“A little. Like Mom said before we left the hospital, I… guess it’d be more worrying if I wasn’t in pain right now. I did get hit by a car.”
Choromatsu leans forward and places a cautious hand on his little brother’s head. Once that earns him no punishment, he gingerly combs through Ichimatsu’s hair. It certainly feels relaxing. “You sure did. I… I can’t believe you kept both Karamatsu and Totty safe. Adrenaline’s a… a weird thing, huh? I’m glad you’re all okay. Hopefully the pain medicine will work better once you’ve had a few doses.”
“Mh. I hope so.”
“Yeah. For now, just, uh… just try to get some more sleep, okay? Your body needs a lot of rest while you’re healing.”
Yep, that’s what Karamatsu said, too. Two of his brothers saying the same thing can’t be wrong. … Well, they could be, but it would be weird. “I’ll try. Thanks for… being here. I dunno that I’d really want to sleep alone for the whole night. Guess Totty’s rubbing off on me.”
A low chuckle leaves Choromatsu as Ichimatsu closes his eyes. The sound of rustling suggests that his older brother has laid down and pulled a blanket over himself as well.
After a moment of quiet between them, Ichimatsu becomes keenly aware of a sensation that definitely isn’t going to allow him to sleep. “Uuuugh. Shit.”
“Huh?” Choromatsu is sitting up in an instant, ready to practically spring out of his skin. “What’s wrong, Ichimatsu?”
“― My leg itches.”
“O-oh. So… scratch it??”
He throws his head back in frustration. “No, the one with the Goddamn cast on it.”
“Ohhh. Okay, uh, well…” Choromatsu gets up and rummages through one of the drawers for a few seconds.
After that, a pencil is pressed into Ichimatsu’s good hand with a smile. “Here, try this. Stick the eraser end down in the little space between your leg and the cast, then keep moving it. If the itch is high enough up, it should help.”
Ichimatsu raises an eyebrow at the advice. Well. What’s he got to lose, after all? He spends a moment trying to get the itch scratched after slipping the pencil down, and finally he sighs in relief. “Fuck, that’s a lot better. How’d you know that was gonna work?���
Choromatsu grins self-consciously, rubbing at the back of his neck. “Ah, well… remember when I broke my arm? When I went for my checkup, I had this itch inside the cast that was driving me nuts. So the nurse showed me this trick. It doesn’t always work, but…”
“Huh… well… thanks.” After everything, he’s just really tired and ready to sleep now. He would cross his fingers that nothing else disturbs him if he felt like moving at all.
“Heh, no problem. All good now?”
“I think so.” When he sees his brother straighten up to head back to the couch, his brain evidently thinks it’s good to say something. “H… hey. Choromatsu?”
Choromatsu looks back down, concern etched on his features. “Ah, yeah? What’s up?”
His heart is hammering so fast it feels like it’s trying to break more of his ribs. He doesn’t really want to embarrass himself. It’s just… he feels… “Can you… can you… stay for a minute? Down here?”
“Oh… yeah, sure. I can’t stay too long… I-I can’t sleep next to you. I might accidentally hurt you.” Even so, he lowers himself back down, sitting cross-legged and reaching to stroke Ichimatsu’s hair.
He nods. That’s part of the problem. Even though he normally wouldn’t have much complaint about being left to his own devices… he’s used to sleeping next to his brothers. Right on the end beside Karamatsu. When he’s not feeling well, being absent from them is apparently not doing him any favors. “I know. It’s just…”
His eyes drift closed once more. It must be the medicine making him feel out of it and way too honest. “… I think I’m gonna get lonely sleeping like this.”
“O-oh… gosh.” He can practically hear the frown in Choromatsu’s voice. The other man’s hand combs through his hair, a rhythmic and repetitive motion that makes him sleepy again. “I can probably… sleep like this, propped up against the couch. Is that okay?”
“Mmmh… I don’t want you to have to do that… you’ll make your back sore.”
He chuckles. “Ah, I-I think I can handle it. Even if that’s true, it’d be worth it to me so you don’t have to feel lonely. It’s the least I can do for my little brother.”
“I can’t stop you,” Ichimatsu mumbles. Sleep is scrabbling its tiny, strong fingers at him, trying to pull him down. It’s getting hard to resist. “If you want…”
“Yeah… yeah, I wanna do this for you.” Choromatsu leans down to press a small kiss to the top of Ichimatsu’s head. “Hey. Love you, Ichimacchan. Try to get some rest, okay?”
He doesn’t have to tell Ichimatsu twice. Within a minute of Choromatsu’s urging, he’s fallen back into a peaceful darkness.
-
When Ichimatsu wakes up the next morning, Choromatsu’s presence has been replaced by Jyushimatsu’s.
As much as he loves his immediate older brother, he doesn’t have any complaints. He and Jyushimatsu are very close, and his younger brother being here is pretty soothing to wake up to.
He’s uncharacteristically quiet, though that’s not to say he isn’t his usual energetic self. He appears to be flipping through baseball cards, maybe organizing them in his little album, humming to himself. There’s also one hand free to play with Ichimatsu’s hair, which he supposes is why he still feels relaxed.
“Hey, Jyushi.” His body reminds him why stretching is a bad idea right now, so he settles for arching his back a little in an effort to make something pop. Everything is sore. Even that little bit of movement hurts his ribs enough that he has trouble catching his breath for a minute. “Fuck… morning.”
“Oh! Yeah, it is morning!” Jyushimatsu is chipper as always, though when he leans in for a hug, he’s surprisingly gentle. “How’d you sleep, Ichimatsu-nii-san?”
“Okay, I guess. I still hurt a bunch.”
“Yeahhhh, you were crying in your sleep! But it’s okay! Because guess what? Jyushi is here!” He grins, nuzzling his cheek against Ichimatsu’s. It’s a bit weird, but par for the course as far as Jyushimatsu is concerned. Besides, the hug is nice after the fear of being lonely last night. “Did you have nightmares, huh?”
Now that he mentions it… yep. Ichimatsu’s dreams, or what he remembers of them, were filled with horrible things. The memory of being hit by the car, or the images of either Karamatsu or Totty being hit because he wasn’t fast enough.
He recalls one piece of a dream which involved looking into his own chest and seeing the end of a fractured rib shatter his glass heart.
A shudder runs through his body, prompting Jyushimatsu to tighten his grip just slightly. “Oh, you’re cold! It’s past breakfast, ‘cause you slept for a really long time, but I’ll go get you some tea!! Sound good?”
Given that his appetite hasn’t come back from war, that sounds better than anything else. Though he did manage to choke down that rice and miso last night, he’s not sure if he wants to eat even anything bland. “Yeah, sounds good. Put just a little bit of agave syrup in it for me?”
“Yeah! Anything for Ichimatsu-nii-san! Be right back, okay?”
With Jyushimatsu, ‘be right back’ is typically how it goes. He’s only gone for a few minutes, or at least it only seems like a few minutes.
Regardless, Ichimatsu has a cup of tea in his hand relatively quickly. Almost as if his brother predicted that it would be difficult to hold something very hot with only one hand, the tea is warm, not boiling hot.
It’s easier to balance it with one hand, plus this means it’s pretty much the perfect temperature to drink. As he starts to sip it, he feels Jyushimatsu’s hand, covered entirely by his sleeve, rubbing affectionately between his shoulder blades. “It’s good, huh?”
He swallows and gives the other a nod. “Yeah, pretty good. Thanks.” Thankfully, it should wake him up, too. He’s still feeling kind of groggy.
“Good!! Osomatsu-nii-san said he’s gonna give you your medicine in a minute, since I told him you were up and hurting.” Jyushimatsu shoves his binder of cards away, shifting up to sit on the sofa. “Do you want me to move you up here after you’re done drinking?”
“Probably, yeah. You got anything you wanna do today?” Another sip, and he sighs in relief feeling the warmth flow through him. Damn.He can’t believe he could take something as simple as a cup of tea in the morning for granted. “I can’t really help with baseball practice… but we could watch TV together or something.”
“Sure! We can watch whatever you want!” After only a few seconds, Jyushimatsu wiggles himself back down and leans against his big brother’s shoulder. “Hey, Ichimatsu-nii-san… I’m really glad you’re okay. Even though you’re hurt and everything, you’re home with us instead of… being not home with us!”
The least he can do is let his head rest gently against Jyushimatsu’s. “Yeah… I’m glad I’m home, too. Don’t think I’d rather be anywhere else.”
Jyushimatsu nods eagerly, making a brief, dull wave of pain wash through Ichimatsu. However, he’d rather have that pain than not have his little brother close. “We’ll take really good care of you! Just say if you need anything, okay? I’m really strong and I can get anything! … And if I can’t, Osomatsu-nii-san probably can!”
“Heh.” Ichimatsu takes another gulp of his tea. “You guys are the best.”
-
True to Jyushimatsu’s word, Osomatsu is in pretty soon to give Ichimatsu the painkillers. For whatever reason, even when he can’t be trusted with literally anything else, the eldest is pretty good at monitoring medicine when one of the others needs it.
All things being equal, Ichimatsu has a lot of faith in taking medicine when Osomatsu keeps track of it. He knows how much was dispensed, how many Ichimatsu is supposed to take and how often, how many are left, and all the related things. He’s like some kind of idiot savant who was put on Earth to be a pill counter.
After he takes it, he expects to start getting tired again, so he silently begs Osomatsu to stay on the couch with him. They’re all supposed to be hanging out anyway, based on what Jyushimatsu said, so right now he decides he wants to be close to his oldest brother for a little bit.
Osomatsu seems all too happy to oblige, snuggling Ichimatsu as close as he dares to. It’s probably not a good idea to use normal force, so the touches are… lighter than usual. It’s not so bad.
He settles in on Osomatsu’s shoulder, trying to get his eyes to focus on the show Jyushimatsu turned it to for him. It’s kind of unfortunate that he’s almost certainly going to fall asleep on it. “You guys are taking really good care of me,” he sighs, letting his eyes slip closed. “You want my allowance? Or, like… a bag of sardines?”
Osomatsu snorts. “What? You’re nuts, man. We’re taking care of you because we want to and because you need it. I mean, if I was sitting here with a broken leg, a broken wrist, broken ribs, and had to have my shoulder cherry popped back into place, wouldn’t you all be like, ‘Wow, maybe we should give the poor bastard a hand’? We’re just doing the same thing for you that we’d do for any one of us.”
Ichimatsu huffs. “Yeah, well… you’re all doing a lot. Karamatsu went in the kitchen past midnight to make me miso and rice, Choromatsu probably fucked up his back sleeping against the couch so I wouldn’t be lonely, Jyushi’s waiting on me, and you’ve got my medicine on a damn schedule or something.”
“Yeah, well,” Osomatsu grins, “I can’t leave it up to you, crackhead.”
He can’t help but chuckle at that. Even so, it’s not going to make him totally drop this. “I’m serious. You guys are…”
Osomatsu nudges him carefully. “We’re being brothers, you boner. I know we suck at showing it sometimes, but… you know we all love each other, right? I guess it’s easier to show it when one of us is sick or hurt. Just so happens you’re the hurt one right now. And also your ass is on painkillers, so everything seems weird to you.”
… Okay, so maybe he can’t fault that logic. Still, though.
They’re both quiet for a long moment while they watch the screen, then Osomatsu lets out a soft hum. “You did good, you know. I don’t like that you tried to get yourself killed, but you did good.”
“I wasn’t trying to get myself killed,” Ichimatsu retorts with the nastiest facial expression he can muster right now. “I didn’t wanna get hit, either. But Karamatsu and Totty weren’t paying attention… I didn’t want them to get hit. I was trying to get us all out of that way… I just wasn’t fast enough.”
Osomatsu scoffs before reaching his hand up to ruffle Ichimatsu’s hair. He appears to be getting a lot of pets like that lately, not that he’s complaining. It feels really good and is one of the biggest comforts he has right now. “You protected them, anyway. I can’t say too much, because you didn’t do anything I wouldn’t have done if it were me.”
Ichimatsu offers a low, mocking wail. “Oh, shit. I’m turning into you. I think I’d rather be a cat. If I were a really bratty cat, you’d still be nice enough to feed me sardines and scratch behind my ears, right?”
“Uhhhh, I guess. You’re changing the subject, you dick.” A small puff of laughter makes his bangs move. “I just… wanna say I really respect you, man. Sometimes I remember the days when you would kick Karamatsu in the leg just for breathing the wrong way. And when you used to blow Totty off to hang with your friends in high school.”
He gets a shrug in response. “People change. We’ve all changed a lot.”
“Yeah, sure. I know.” His arm shifts down and he squeezes Ichimatsu’s good hand in that reassuring, proud way only an older sibling can. “They haven’t all been good changes. But seeing you trying to keep the others safe… that’s a a good change. Just gotta give you your props, Ichimacchan.”
He’s too tired to really argue with Osomatsu. Despite the fact that he knows he’s the shittiest of them all, he has to at least silently acknowledge that what he did prevented one of his older brothers and his baby brother from being in the same pain he’s in right now.
Instead of saying anything meaningful, he just presses himself in more against Osomatsu and mutters, “That’s nice. I’m tired.”
Osomatsu snorts and Ichimatsu feels a light kiss on top of his head. “Alright, dumbass, get some sleep. The pills are probably kicking in. Let me know if you need anything.”
Ichimatsu thinks that, right now, all he needs is his big brother to be the perfect pillow, and he’s doing a pretty good job of that.
-
Although it’s not dark at all the next time Ichimatsu wakes up, it’s significantly later than he meant to sleep. 3 P.M., meaning that once again he’s slept through a meal ― lunch, this time.
Just like last night, he finds that he’s not really all that hungry. Even so, it might be a good idea to eat, so probably he ask Osomatsu to get him something small.
When he shifts and looks over, though, Osomatsu isn’t there anymore. Instead, there’s Totty…
… Oh.
He’s holding onto Ichimatsu pretty tight. Ichimatsu isn’t sure he can move too much with the way Totty is holding him.
“Hey,” he says softly. “Totty? Everything okay?”
His little brother stiffens, wide eyes suddenly turning up to look at him. Unlike what he noticed about Karamatsu, Totty doesn’t have any physical injuries, but… the skin around his eyes is red and puffy. “Y… yeah, it’s all good. Sorry, am I hurting you?”
“No… not really hurting.” He doesn’t remember having seen Totty too much after everything happened. He visited Ichimatsu in the hospital, all teary-eyed and not talking, before they were all allowed to take him home. Once he got home, though, he can’t recall Totty being around a lot even though everyone else was.
He assumed Totty was freaked out after everything and avoiding him just because he’s emotional right now. Seems Ichimatsu was right about that.
He maneuvers his good arm to put it around Totty’s shoulders, pulling him in closer. “Have you been crying? You sure you’re okay?”
Totty sniffles and dips his head down. “Yeah, sorry… I just…”
“Don’t be sorry, dumbass.” Even though it hurts a little to move so much, Ichimatsu cuddles his brother in against him. “It’s fine, you big crybaby. I just wanna make sure you’re okay.”
“I should be the one making sure you’re okay.” Regardless, Totty nestles in, tucking his head under Ichimatsu’s chin. It’s a bit of a weight on his hurt ribs, but it’s not that bad. “… H-hey. I, um. You know. I… I love you.”
Huh. It’s been a while since Totty has said that point-blank to any of his brothers, Ichimatsu thinks. It’s kind of nice to hear. He closes his eyes and offers an appreciative hum. “I love you, too. That it?”
Totty lets out a frustrated sigh, and Ichimatsu can just imagine the pout he has on his face. Kinda cute. He can’t really help himself; the youngest is always gonna be the baby, always gonna be adorable, even when he’s acting like a little bitch or if he wants to deny it. “I wanted to… say I’m sorry.”
“For…?”
“For… everything! Y-you know, for almost getting hit and… I mean, you got hurt trying to protect me and Karamatsu! If I hadn’t tried to follow him without even looking… you wouldn’t have had to worry about me. And… and I haven’t been with you too much since you got home…”
He nuzzles his head against Ichimatsu’s collarbone, kneading his hand against the top of his brother’s good leg. “I’m sorry about that. It’s just… I’ve been… really upset. It was scary, seeing the car hit you…”
The hum Ichimatsu gives this time is lower, pensive and understanding. “Yeah. Mom said you were crying a lot when she got to the hospital. ‘S okay to be kinda freaked out, you know.”
“Yeah, I know… and I was… am.I was scared the whole time… Karamatsu tried to wake you up, but you were just lying there and you wouldn’t…” Totty sniffles and his hand curls into a weak fist against Ichimatsu’s knee. “I didn’t wanna lose you, Ichimatsu-nii-san, and I was really afraid you were gone. I’m happy you’re okay… I just… I-I was pretty sure I was gonna cry the first time I tried to take care of you, so I… wanted to be alone with you. Crying in front of all you guys is…”
Ichimatsu nods to quiet his brother, ghosting a kiss over the top of Totty’s head. “I get it. It’s okay, Totty. C’mere, okay… you don’t have to be sorry for being freaked out and not wanting to cry and all that shit. I’m sure Karamatsu’s freaked out, too. And everyone else. Don’t apologize for your feelings, stupid.”
An indignant huff is the response he gets, before Totty presses in against Ichimatsu’s uninjured shoulder. “It just makes me think a lot,” he finally confesses.
Ichimatsu smirks. “Right. And you’re so out of practice with thinking, it’s hard. I know.”
“Th-that’s not it, you jerk!” Totty whines and brings his arms in, curled against his chest. His knees come up onto the couch, folded under him, as he tries to get comfortable. “It makes me think… anything could happen, at any moment, and that… might be it.And I know we’re all shitty to each other a lot of the time, but… but I love all of you.”
He sniffles, snuggling against Ichimatsu when his big brother pulls him even closer. “The thought that one of us might… die… I-I didn’t… I didn’t know how afraid I was of that… till I thought it happened. If one of us wasn’t here… it… it wouldn’t be the same anymore.”
“… Yeah.” Ichimatsu gives Totty a squeeze that’s maybe a little tighter than necessary. It’s not like he can pretend that Totty is wrong. He’s right. Even though they’re all assholes and treat each other like crap sometimes, the last thing any of them want is for their family to be… incomplete.
They sit quietly for what feels like a long time, holding each other. Breathing. Just existing in sync, in perfect understanding for a while.
Sometimes, it’s true, Ichimatsu is kind of a death seeker. Sometimes he really does want to die. Sometimes he doesn’t care about anything, and just wants it all to end so he doesn’t have to deal with the weight of life anymore.
Sometimes, though… sometimes he fights death with all he has. He thinks maybe that’s what happened after he got hit by the car.
It would have been easy to die then. To just let his injuries swallow him up and put out his life like blowing out a candle.
He’s in a lot of pain right now, but he’s not dead. There must be a reason, right?
He thinks this is the reason.
Holding his youngest brother and realizing how broken his absence would leave his family, thinking about how broken it would be if anyof them were gone, how much they love each other…
… For once, he’s happy to be alive.
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buckybabybaby · 3 years
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Birthday Wish (Part 2)
A/n: As promised, part 2 to last years Bucky smut to celebrate this blog turning 4 last Thursday! (And me turning 28...) Two people on AO3 requested this and apparently I'm a people pleaser, so here's your update, 1 year later!
If you're not over 18 please don't read.
Proof read by way of a text-speech device
Pairing: Bucky Barnes/Reader (Female)
Word count: 2822
Warnings: 18 + Smut. Oral sex (f receiving), vaginal fingering, Bucky has a big ****, all the good stuff ;)
Plot: part 2 to Bucky finding your fan blog, even more rewards for the birthday girl
Part 1 
(This 2nd part probably won't make complete sense on it's own, smut is smut but there's a tiny bit of plot)
Birthday Masterlist – the other fics I've written on my birthday in the past 4 years are all here
Main Masterlist
*****
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*****
“Bucky?” You push weakly at his chest to get his attention. “Where you serious about that date? This isn't just because it's my birthday, is it?”
Bucky's mouth pauses in its decent down your neck as he pulls away to look at you questioningly. You can't help your doubts, not now you're no longer so fuzzy-headed, the reality of what has, and still is happening, too much to process as his warm body presses against yours distractingly.
“What do you mean?” He asks, running a comforting hand up your arm.
You want so much to just ignore your uncertainties and let this against-the-bedroom-door-make-out continue, as even with your damp underwear and friction burned thighs, there is no taking away from how painfully romantic this moment could be.
If only you were sure of his feelings.
“This isn't some pity thing, is it? Because I don't want that. If that's all this is going to be, please tell me now before it goes any further.”
“I said I like you didn't I?”
“Technically, no.”
“Oh.” Bucky's face falls and you hate that you've caused it. “M'sorry. I should have made it clear from the start; this is not because its your birthday, its because its you. This has been a long time coming, I guess this forced isolation just heighten everything and that’s why I made a move earlier today.”
“Really?”
He nods so rapidly it makes you giggle. “I swear. I wish I was better at expressing myself so you'd know how much I mean it.”
“Sometimes we don't need words,” You reassure him, curling a hand into his hair to pull his lips against yours once more, letting him take the lead as you sink back into the feeling, moving his hands to your shirts buttons when he hesitates for too long.
“I'll prove it to you, Y/N,” He mumbles against your mouth, retracing his path back down as he busies himself with opening up your blouse. “Gonna make you feel so good.”
Tipping your head back to rest against the door, your eyes close on their own, overwhelmed once again by how well you seem to fit together.
“Is this how you always dress?” He asks, referring to your lack of bra as his hands skim across your breasts.
You hum. “I don't remember the last time I got dressed properly.”
“Shit,” He breathes against the swell of your chest, “If I'd known...”
Your self satisfied laugh gets caught in your throat as he suddenly drops to his knees before you, one hand propping your right leg over his shoulder whilst his other holds you tight to keep your balance. His soft hair brushes your tummy, and you fight to keep your breathing from becoming erratic when he peers up at you, looking so submissive even though he's definitely the one in charge right now.
Bucky tugs at your soaked panties. “Let's get these out the way, yeah?”
Pressing his lips into the sensitive skin of your inner thigh, he gives you a moment to catch up to his plan.
“What if I fall?”
“I won't let you.”
It's so easy to believe him when your body is almost buzzing in anticipation. The moment you give permission, your panties are ripped at both edges and pulled away from the sticky mess of your centre, your shriek of protest making Bucky grin, hard.
“Hey! I liked those!”
“I'll buy you more,” He promises, spreading your legs a little further to get better access. “Besides, your blog said you would like that.”
Whimpering, you realise this is all your own fault. A second later, however, your ruined underwear is the last thought on your mind when his lips finds your core and his tongue licks a long line up through your slick.
“Fuck, knew you'd taste good.”
You can't answer. Bucky doesn't waste any more time speaking, putting his mouth to better use between you legs, finding your clit in no time and sucking on it until you see stars. He's an expert at making you shake in pleasure, something you'd never doubted and in fact wrote quite extensively about, but it's nice to be proven right.
More than nice, actually. You're still sore from his thigh, responsive in the best way, and he's quickly building you up to another high as he eats you out like a starved man. The heat swirls in your tummy, your own mouth dry as you pull on his hair to warn him you're close.
Bucky can tell. You can feel his smirk as he doubles his efforts, his own little moans vibrating into you as the hand holding your thigh moves to join his mouth in wrecking you for anyone else.
The instant his fingers push inside you're gone. The stretch makes you cry out, curling into his hold, your whole body being supported by Bucky while you shake through your orgasm. Tears form in the corner of your eyes as he slows down but doesn't stop his movements to guide you through it, letting up just as the pleasure turns sharp.
Slumping back against the door out of breathe, you try to rest your weight back on your own legs, failing miserably when your limbs are still so shaky. Bucky coos sympathetically, rising back up and taking you fully into his arms, your legs naturally wrapping themselves around his middle.
“You're so fucking hot.” It's said in a mutter before he makes you taste yourself on his tongue.
The passion behind his kiss is shocking, despite the two orgasms he wrung out of you. In this position you can again feel his erection, still constrained in his tracksuit, and even before you've fully caught your breath you're trying to wriggle your way out of his hold to help him out.
He sets you down with a puzzled smile. “What do you want?”
“You. Inside me.”
There's no use trying to be coy when he's seen you at your most vulnerable. Bucky chokes at your brazenness, smile growing wide as he drags you with him towards his bed, peeling your blouse off your arms before lying you gently across the sheets.
Fully naked in front of him for the first time, your instinct is to cover up but he stops you, hands catching your wrists and pressing them back to your sides.
“Keep them there, okay?”
You nod mutely, watching spellbound as he stands at the foot of the bed and finally starts to strip. His sweatshirt comes off first, thrown to the carpet somewhere to be dealt with later, and then the bottoms are gone too, leaving him in just his briefs, bulging at the front and visibly stained.
You reach out a hand before you know what you're doing. “You wanna help, pretty girl?”
“Please,” You beg, sitting back up to perch on the edge of the bed and blink slowly up at him, letting your fingers graze just above the elastic of his underwear. Teasing for a second or two to keep him on his toes, you wait until just as it looks like he's about to snap to pull at the band and let the fabric fall down and off his legs.
“Fuck,” You both say at the same time.
He's big, bigger that you'd thought, and you have thought about it a lot. If he's uncomfortable under you're wide-eyed scrutiny he doesn't show it, just lets you stare until you've had your fill.
“That's not gonna fit.”
Your voice breaks as you fail to hide your fear, only glancing away briefly to send a worried look Bucky's way.
“It's all right, doll,” He whispers, the shadow of a smirk gracing his face as he guides your hand to his cock and encourages you to wrap your fingers around his length. “We'll make it.”
The warm weight under your palm distracts you effectively, and you enjoy the power it gives you over this normally unbreakable man, collecting the precum leaking out of the tip you work to set up a steady rhythm. He's impatient, thrusting in to your grip until he can't take it any more.
“Stop, stop. Or this will be over before it's begun.”
You're surprised, you didn't think you had done much yet, but he seems pretty affected if the tremble of his hands pushing yours away are anything to go by.
Closing his eyes to gather himself, he steps away momentarily to dig something out of his wardrobe, laughing quietly at your pout when he returns.
“M'not going anywhere pretty girl.” Bucky taps a square package against your pursed lips, making you gasp in realisation. “I just thought we might need one of these?”
He drops it onto the bed by your side in invitation for you to take the lead. Picking it up, you quash the nerves threatening to come back, instead concentrating on ripping the side open carefully and placing the condom at the end of his cock just as a question flits through your mind.
“Wait. Why do you have this? Did you plan-”
“No, Y/N,” He rushes to clear up. “Sam put them in my bag as a joke, seems I'll have to thank him for it now instead, huh?”
You don't answer, but silently agree as you finish rolling the rubber down his length. Now there's no pretending where this is going. Sensing your hesitation, Bucky leans in to kiss you again, lowering you back against the bed sheets while he explores your mouth and waits until he can feel you relax.
Placing one last peck to your lips, he settles, stood, at the perfect height in between your legs. “Ready?”
“Uh huh.”
“We'll go as slow as you need, okay?”
Smiling up at him, you help him swipe his cock through you folds, eliciting a joint inhale, before he finds your entrance and starts to push in.
If he looked big, it's nothing to how he feels. Your fingers scramble across the sheets to ground yourself, so full you think you might burst, and he's not even halfway in.
“Breathe for me, Y/N.”
His whole body is tense against yours as you try your best to do as he says, breathing in unsteadily. When your eyes meet you nod, and he continues the slow slide inside of you until your hips meet when he's fully sheathed.
“There we go, told you you'd be fine.”
You laugh weakly. “M'being split in two.”
On anyone else that smug look would be off putting but with Bucky, it's just makes you roll your eyes fondly. His hands smooth across your waist as he lets you get used to the feeling, staying still even though you can see it must be torture, and that makes you determined to relax for him, the slight sting where you're joined fading with every murmured praise.
A minute ticks by before Bucky clears his throat.
“This is called cock warming, right? Read about that on your blog too.”
He speaks so casually and you clench around him in shock. You hadn't even considered that that was what you were doing but you suppose he's right, kind of, and with the way he looks as he struggles not to move you'd be more than happy to try it properly in the future.
There's nothing prettier than the flush spreading across his cheeks as his chest heaves.
Still feeling full, but deliciously so now, you urge him to move with a shift of your hips. His own roll in to yours experimentally, and when you show no signs of pain he does it again, this time drawing a small moan out of you.
“Knew you'd be good at this too,” He confesses with a harder thrust, checking you reaction as he increases his pace. “Fucking made for me.”
You can't disagree when you fit together like a puzzle. Letting him take complete control, he doesn't disappoint, swiftly lifting one leg to rest over his shoulder like earlier and finding the perfect angle after only a few trial strokes, leaving you grabbing at the sheets once more.
It doesn't take long for you to get close again. Never letting up on hitting all the right spots inside you, it's like he already knows your body so well, and you're in heaven as the pressure builds up.
“Look at where we're joined.”
You obey immediately, watching mesmerised at the wetness shining on his cock, at the way it forces your body to open up to him, at the obscenity of how big he looks pushing his way in and out of you.
“Pretty girl's gonna cum again, yeah?”
It's not a question but a demand. You hum in affirmation, too far gone to form actual sentences, only just about able to untangle one of your hands from the sheets and press two fingers against your clit.
“I-I need-”
“Let me.”
Your hand is swatted away, replaced by his, rubbing circles over your clit whilst you try to not scream. It's too much, all your senses are heightened, and with one final thrust you're falling over the edge, clenching around his cock so tightly you'd be worried about hurting him if you weren't completely lost in the feeling.
Bucky doesn't last much longer either. His thrusts slow into a sort of filthy grind of his hips into yours, and then he's pulling you up by the waist to be as far inside you as possible before letting himself go with a loud groan. Echoing that noise with one of your own, you allow him to half collapse on top of you to ride out the high, still moving in and out of you minutely, prolonging the orgasm for all that its worth.
You stay joined together like that until the aftershocks have worn off and you have enough strength to tug him fully down on to you. Protesting, he stands back up and pulls out of you gently with a grunt, discarding the condom in the general direction of the bathroom bin, then crawls back up the bed to take you in his arms, laying face to face as you catch your breath.
Shy now, you hide your face in his chest, tracing patterns over his skin with a content smile. He moves the hair covering your face aside, chuckling silently when he realises the plastic tiara is still sitting atop it, slightly askew but otherwise unharmed.
Carefully untangling it, he places it safely on his bedside table. “We need to shower.”
You don't move. “In a minute.”
“Okay, doll. One minute.”
Eyes heavy, you sink into his hold, the comforting sound of his heartbeat lulling you into sleep until he shakes you back awake.
“Hey, I meant it. We need to clean up. And you haven't had your cake yet.”
Yawning, you ask hopefully, “Cake?”
“Yeah, I, er, baked it myself. I hope it's okay, I've never really-”
How can he be so endearingly nervous just minutes after he made you orgasm, three times, you don't know. “I'm sure it'll be lovely, Bucky. Thank you.”
He shrugs, still blushing. “S'okay.”
It's quiet for a while longer, just basking in the afterglow, but there's something you really need to discuss.
Steeling your courage, you dive right in. “So, where'd we go from here?”
“Well, I'd like it if you'd be my girl, but it's up to you.”
You heart flips as you sigh in relief. “I'd like that.”
His delight at the turn of events is obvious too, pushing his lips to yours quickly before stating semi-seriously, “I better not read anything about this on that blog of yours.”
He confuses you for a second, having completely forgotten what had gotten you into this position in the first place. Laughing, you throw one of your legs over his waist, cuddling up to him even closer.
“Hey, Bucky,” You start, sitting up out of his hold to better look him in the eye whilst you ask the question you've been meaning to since the beginning of all this. “Do you follow me on there?”
“Maybe.”
You shove his arm playfully. “Maybe? Bucky! Yes or no!”
“Maybe,” He repeats with a smirk, not letting you interrogate him any more as he slides off the bed and scoops you up in to his arms. “Come on now, Y/N. Shower, cake, then back to your bed.”
“Why my bed?”
“'Cos it's clean,” he says bluntly, making you flush.
“Oh.”
“Hmm.”
Struggling to stay awake, you allow him to manoeuvre you into the bathroom, inside the shower, and under the warm, soothing water.
Bucky grabs the soap when it becomes clear you don't intend to do it yourself, being particularly delicate with his touch over your still sensitive skin. “So, did you enjoy your birthday?”
You don't reply with words, just lean in to press a smile-filled kiss to the corner of his mouth, but that's probably answer enough.
*****
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The chains of familial obligations and expectations were suffocating, to say the least. For as long as you could remember, your parents expected you to be the perfect student, smile for the camera when you got an award, and exist for the sole purpose of becoming someone they could brag about. When you first discovered the Eggy Cafe, you didn’t quite know just how much of an impact it’d have on your life. You visited with the sole purpose of finding a place to study in peace and quiet. It first started off as you going every few weeks, usually before a test or when you wanted to be alone in a place where no one knew you. 
Never in a million years did you’d think that you’d become friends with Jieun, the owner, or that she’d offer you a part-time job. You weren’t looking for one nor did you need the money but for some reason, you accepted it. And so for the past year, you’ve been working as a barista for the Eggy Cafe, enjoying your job more than you should be. The scent of coffee beans and freshly baked pastries became embedded into your clothes, the sounds of conversations from customers you chatted with became music to your ears, and in the Eggy Cafe, you found the constant warmth you’ve been longing for your entire life. Just a few months ago, the Eggy Cafe started gaining attention from students on campus due to the school’s basketball team star player, Min Yoongi talking about how good your drinks (mostly the Americanos) were. You became known as a sort of fairy of caffeine, supplying people with their caffeine fix and pastries that tasted better than the overpriced Starbucks on campus.
It was nearing midnight and there were a few people still in the cafe, studying and working on homework but you could handle it on your own. Your coworker of 3 weeks, Jay had to leave a few hours before his shift ended for a reason you’d didn’t care enough to remember. You were currently making a drink for yourself when suddenly,
“Uhh, hey,” a voice said somewhat unsure of themselves. You looked at where it came from and saw someone standing awkwardly by the side of the bar counter somewhat of a distance away from you.
“Hi, do you know what you want to order yet?” you asked. He shook his head and looked around. There was an air of loneliness that surrounded him, he looked familiar for some reason probably because you’ve seen him around campus.
“Take a seat and however long as you need,” you said with a smile. He sat down by the bar counter, two seats away from you and you continued making your drink. A silence befell the two of you until finally,
“Why are all the drinks named like potions?”
“Because this place is magical and I’m a witch,” you joked.
“I heard from Jay-hyung that a fairy working here,” he said, causing you to smile,
“What kind of potion do you want?”
“Got a potion for making friends?” he asked. You knew that he was only joking but you could feel a sliver of truth in his words. Working in the Eggy Cafe for so long allowed you to get to know various types of people and how to help them out, even if it was for a few brief moments.
“Give me a sec, I’ve got just the thing.” It didn’t take long before you placed a cup in front of him and you leaned on the other side of the counter to start a conversation.
“Drink this,” you said. He looked at the cup, then back at you in confusion,
“Tea?”
“What’s on your mind, babe?”
You learned that the practically 6 feet tall guy’s name was Nishimura Riki but people often called him Ni-ki. You realized that the reason he looked familiar was because he was a dance major and you saw him practicing by the quad sometimes. Throughout the next few months, you started noticing him more and more after that day, saying hi whenever you passed by each other and smiling at him when you couldn’t say hi. One lunchtime when Ni-ki came to the cafe his order was in a to-go cup, you figured he’d be leaving. As he waited, you gave him a plate with some mochi on it. 
“I didn’t order this,” he said, looking at the plate of mochi.
“Try it out for me, let me know if it tastes good. I made it this morning and I’m thinking of asking Jieun to sell it.” He took a bite, eyes lightening up as the taste settled on his lips. He had had lots of mochi and desserts throughout his lifetime but this was unlike anything he’d ever had before.
“What is this?” he asked, looking at you in pure amazement. You made a mental note to yourself that food was something that made Ni-ki smile.
“Smores mochi, it’s good, yeah?” he nodded,
“You should sell this. Definitely.” As you handed him his drink,
“Great, it’ll give you a reason to come by more often.” You got back to work, not quite noticing the tinge of red that was starting to show on his cheeks or how he muttered,
“I already have a reason to come by more often,” to himself, just out of earshot from anyone else.
Ni-ki came to the cafe later that week with some people, one of them included Jay who also wasn’t working. The only thing was that when he saw you, you weren’t behind the register with an apron. Instead, you were sitting in the booth by the window with a laptop in front of you and what seemed like hundreds of papers on the table. Your hair was brought up in a messy bun with strands of hair around your face and you sported an oversized hoody.
“What’s up?” a voice asked, turning your attention away from your laptop and whoever it was.
“Jay-hyung, don’t bother her,” Ni-ki said as he went to your table. A guy whose name you later found out was Jungwon sat next to Jay while the other 4 guys were in line at the register.
“It’s not a bother, I’ll always welcome your company Ni-ki,” you said. He knew damn well that you were saying it out of friendliness but he couldn’t stop the heat that rose to his cheeks. You were introduced to the 5 other guys and learned that Ni-ki and Jay were a part of a group that put out performances.
“Y/n-ah, you work here?” the one whose name you found out was Sunoo asked already comfortable with you. Sunoo was bright and cheery at the first meet, the opposite of Ni-ki but you realized that the two complimented each other. 
“When I’m not studying I’m either sleeping or supplying caffeine,” you replied with a smile. As everyone settled into their own conversation, you started eating the chocolate chocolate chip muffin you baked earlier. Even though you weren’t working today, Jieun still let you have access to the kitchen and coffee. Seeing Ni-ki eyeing your plate, without thinking much of it, you ripped out a piece and brought it up to Ni-ki’s mouth. As he accepted the bite, his arm reached over behind your shoulders to get his cup of tea which was by the ledge of the window.
He returned the cup back to its original place but his arm stayed around your shoulders. You didn’t mind it, if anything you were glad for Ni-ki and his presence lately. Somewhere down the line, the once 7 guys you were with became just Ni-ki by your side.
“Can I walk you home?” Ni-ki asked as you started packing up your things.
“Well, if you’re offering to be my bodyguard tonight I won’t refuse” As you and Ni-ki walked to your dorm, it didn’t quite register how much you enjoyed being with him until he had to leave. Once at your doorstep,
“There’s a dance showcase happening at the festival tomorrow, I’m performing with everyone else and solo. If you’re not busy, do you wanna... come?” Dancer Ni-ki was a part of him you had yet to see and you heard so much about it from everyone else. Over the past few months, his closed-off persona was slowly fading and little by little he was letting you into his world.
“I’ll be there, we can celebrate your win at the cafe after!”
“Yah, what makes you think I’m going to win?”
“If you lose then we can celebrate the fact that it’s over.”
“I’ll see you tomorrow then?”
“Mhm.”
The next day came by quicker than you were expecting, the only part you were looking forward to was the showcase. You were able to be close to the front of the stage with a few of your friends and you cheered as loud as you possibly could when it was time for Ni-ki’s performance. In awe of how he commanded the stage, you couldn’t believe just how powerful Ni-ki was, practically leaving you more breathless than when the two of you were next to each other. He was definitely going to win. And if the judges thought otherwise you were going to throw a riot.
Later that night, the Eggy Cafe was full of chatters as the group and solo dance performance trophies were set on the counter. The boys were clearly tired but still happy nonetheless. While Jay was teaching Jake how to make a puppuccino for Layla, Sunghoon was washing the dishes that you guys used since it was after closing time, Jungwon and Sunoo taking selcas, and Heeseung asleep on the couch, Ni-ki was sitting across the counter from you.
“Y/n?” he asked.
“What’s on your mind?”
“You updated the menu names?” he asked, looking behind you. They were still as crazy if not more as they were originally.
“Which potion do you want?”
“Got a potion that’ll give me the courage to ask you out?” Unable to stop yourself from blushing, you set a cup of tea in front of him. He took a sip,
“Are you free tomorrow?” Nodding as you took a sip of your own drink,
“I am.”
 ↬ ᴀ/ɴ: 
first of all, thank you so much for 100+ followers! thankful to everyone out there who reads the content from this blog :)
sorry for not having any updates since like 2ish? weeks (school has just been giving out so much work)
hopefully there’ll be more fics when we go on break!
if you have any reqs feel free to send!
❦ end of story, written by riri | blog masterlist
Qᴜɪᴄᴋ ᴄʟɪᴄᴋꜱ ᴛᴏ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀ ɴɪ-ᴋɪ ꜰɪᴄꜱ
huh? | exam season 
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