#i'm barely even friendship material

[gabrielsbubblegumbitch]

✨Staticmoth wedding headcanons✨

Because I have a lot of thoughts but can't come up with the plot to turn it into fic

✨ Vox absolutely loses his shit. You would think that Valentino would be a groomzilla material but oh no no, Val just wants sexy dress and enough coke to last three days of partying. Vox needs everything perfect. He has his grand vision and is ready to tear with bare hands everyone who does not deliver. During the preparation time, he murders as many people as Val usually does. Velvette bails on being the wedding planner after just two weeks because it was seriously straining their friendship. But after a month, she's back in the game. Why? Because Vox strangled three other wedding planners in frustration, and things weren't moving forward, so Val was starting to freak out.

✨ The event is held at the Vees' Tower. I reckon they've got a venue suitable for hosting conferences and porn award shows.

✨ It's a grand event. I'm talking Grand™, like the Kim K and Kanye West of Hell kind of grand. But it's also elite, so the guest list isn't that long, around 200 invited people plus 50 ticketed spots for anyone willing to drop 100k hellish bucks to attend. Everything is dripping with gold and diamonds because "quiet luxury" isn't in the Vees' vocabulary. The whole affair reflects Val's aesthetic more, as it's Vox's love letter to him. Vox already had his wedding, and now it's time to fulfill his husband's dreams. So Val makes about 90% of the decisions without shouldering any real responsibilities. Which is fine by everyone because he's annoying as hell when it comes to picking roses, flamingo feathers, and starters. Nobody wants to put him in high-stress situations. Expect lots of red, pink, and gold, with heavy, decadent fabrics and neon lights; it's like an exclusive brothel meets the Las Vegas strip.

✨ When it comes to flowers, they settled on roses because they're Vox's favorites, which naturally made them Val's favorite too, given the sheer number of bouquets he's received. Vox, being the freak he is, counts every single bouquet he's ever given to Val. So, for their wedding, he ensures there are twice as many roses. Yes, he's a pathological overachiever.

✨ As for attractions, there’s a plethora of erotic dancers in cages and mesmerizing drone light shows. Karaoke, slot machines, live cooking stations, and all the drugs you can imagine. And let's not forget a fountain flowing with tequila. It's a true adult wonderland.

✨ Valentino skips the whole white dress thing and rocks a fierce red latex gown that's very Mugler but with a fetishcore twist. Vox keeps it sleek in a sharp black three-piece suit. His shirt's a bold blue, and his tie matches Val's dress. His shoulder pads are pointy, his waist is slutty, his ass looks divine. Oh yeah, about slutty waist - underneath the shirt he is hiding a leather corset, as a treat for the wedding night.

✨ Also none of them really have friends other than Velvette, just associates so there are no groomsmen/maids.

✨ Since there aren't any traditional churches or government officials in Hell (if there's even a government at all), Velvette takes on the role of officiating the wedding. Vox isn't entirely thrilled with this choice because there's always the risk she might crack a joke or publicly rib him, but hey, there's really no one else who could pull it off. I imagine that a wedding in Hell is also some form of magical contract but more about partnership than ownership. They do not exchange rings but blood sksksk also I don’t think that Vox can really wear rings with his claws? And they couldn't quite agree on a design that satisfied both of them. In the end, Val ends up wearing his illegally imported engagement ring from Earth, featuring four pink diamonds shaped like a moth's wings.

✨ Val's vow is, well, atrocious. It's the kind of thing that would definitely land him in one of those TikTok compilations of terrible grooms ruining their weddings. He mentions cream pieing Vox at least once. Vox at first freaks out but seconds later realizes Wow that's the man I'm marrying. I wouldn't want him any other way On the flip side, Vox's vow is immaculate. Crafted with the assistance of Voxtek's CMO and practiced to perfection, it leaves everyone in awe. He has out-of-body experience playing this role of prince charming.

✨ For their first dance, they opt for a steamy tango. Picture this: swirling red smoke on the floor, making it seem like they're dancing on the sky of the pride ring when the sun is setting down. Little do the guests know, the smoke is laced with drugs, sending most of them on a wild trip. The party quickly goes off the rails, but in the best way possible (according to the Vees’ standards).

✨ The cake is a five-tier monstrosity with five different flavors: tres leches and chocolate-cherry chosen by Val, confetti cake and strawberry cheesecake chosen by Vox and Red Velvet for Velvette because she couldn't shut up about it To top it all off, there's a big chocolate figure of Vox and Valentino dancing. Val is later caught drunk, eating it with his bare hands like the filthy animal he is.

✨ Velvette’s wedding gift is a pair of customized matching guns with small engravings that read "Partners in Crime."

✨ Valentino pulls off a surprise special pole dance performance as a wedding gift for his husband. Let's just say it's scorching hot and leaves at least 50 guests with, uh, visible excitement. Later on, things almost escalate to a full-on table bang, but...

✨ Velvette spends the entire evening reminding them that they can't just vanish to consummate their marriage because this whole party took months of preparations, and they need to be present. After all, people paid good money to be around them. The threat of cock cages hangs over their heads, but they promise to behave. However, Val being the horny beast he is, ends up taking Vox to the bathroom for a quickie anyway. Velvette decides to let it slide this time.

✨ At least 20 casualties mark the night. Vox ends up zapping one of the guests who gets a bit too clingy with Val during the dance. Meanwhile, Val gets into a brawl and, well, let's just say it doesn't end well for the other guy. Surprisingly, everyone seems to be having a great time, but hey, these are the Vees' colleagues we're talking about—they thrive on violence and sex.

✨ Yeah, there's no shortage of sex at this party. With a guest list mainly consisting of businesspeople, adult performers, and mobsters, tensions escalate rapidly. By around 3 A.M., half of the party is busy getting down and dirty in every corner imaginable.

✨ When Vox reaches the perfect level of drunkenness, he seizes control of the DJ station. Surprisingly, he's a natural, dropping beats like a pro and having an absolute blast. Val, meanwhile, goes absolutely wild watching him, thrilled to see Vox letting loose and embracing his creative side.

✨ Derek, Vox's assistant, is the odd one out, the only low-status person to snag an invite because Vox felt kinda generous. But truth be told, Derek hates the idea and wasn't keen on attending. However, when Melissa caught wind of his invitation, she practically dragged him there to be his plus one, desperate to get closer to Velvette. Derek's terrified of most of the guests, but Melissa's over the moon. She later fucks him as a reward for being a very brave boy. Angel is not invited because he would ruin mood of both grooms.

✨ Valentino had prepared the filthiest, kinkiest, most elaborate wedding night, but it doesn't go as planned. Surprisingly, things turn out very vanilla for their standards, with a lot of missionary, eye contact, and hand-holding. After 16 hours of non-stop action, they're both too exhausted to even think about getting creative.

Thank you @purrpleowl @watcherofeternalflame @canadianlucifer @aroromantic @malu897 @staticmothed @chaggieslovechild @gumm1defloor @mayflowersfly for your thoughts!

[xhoneygirlxx]

because work has been kicking my ass and i'm a wh*re for virgin Eddie, here is this small little blurb as a treat :)

virgin!eddie x reader (reader and Eddie are both in their 20s)

rated r: smut, oral receiving, swearing, mentions of sex. (18+ minors GO AWAY)

You and Eddie sit on the small couch in his trailer living room, the blue glow from the tv highlighting him in the most beautiful way. The eerie music of Halloween plays through the tinny speakers, the soundtrack of your night. Although the metal head has watched this movie more than he can count, you can’t help but notice your best friend has become instantly tense the moment Lynda’s tits appear on screen.

Eddie’s virginity wasn’t a secret in your friendship, he’d constantly asked you for advice on how to please his partner when the day finally came, but watching him squirm in his seat at glimpse of bare tits makes your heart melt. To be completely honest you had a crush on your bestie for as long as you can remember, to be fair who wouldn’t? You’ve thought about him a few times when your hands were in between your legs, fingers pumping in and out of your sopping cunt.

You’ve thought about offering taking Eddie’s virginity but you would hate to take something so special from him especially when it should be with someone he loves. So you kept your offer to yourself, helped him with any advice he’d asked, and remained supportive in his search of a partner.

The continuous bounce of Eddie’s knee pulls your attention from the screen, too entertained by his constant fidgeting. The scene that got him so riled up as now ended with the pretty blonde being killed but his growing length beneath his jeans continues to strain against the unforgiving material.

Even though it’s selfish and you’re dying to know what he hides beneath his pants, you give in and ask him the one thing you’ve been dying to ever since the two of you turned eighteen.

“Eds, are you good?” Leaning forward, you curl your legs underneath your bum.

His head snaps towards you, eyes bugged out and cheeks flushed. “M-me? Yeah I’m fine, m’good.”

Eddie nods his head slowly, not only trying to convince you of his words but also himself. Your face falls, mouth pulling into a straight line clearly unamused by his horrible acting.

“Okay let’s try this again but this time tell me the truth,” You say sternly, “are you good?”

Letting his head fall to the back of the couch, Eddie closed his eyes and lets out a harsh breath. “I’m just, the movie it’s,”

The nervousness in his voice won’t let him finish his sentence, every thought in his brain melting together in a bowl of mumbo jumbo.

Placing your hand on his thigh, a little higher than usual, you look up at him from under your lashes. “Her tits got you all hot and bothered, is that it?”

Snapping his eyes open down at you, he stares at you as you spoke in a completely different language. Having too much fun with his blush intensifying, you lean forward just a bit more putting your cleavage on display.

“It hurts, huh? Feels like you’re gonna burst at any moment.” Your voice is sweet like sugar, dripping with an intoxicating amount of intensity that Eddie’s never heard.

His hands that sit by his sides clench and unclench, jitters pouring through him at an alarming rate. Too dumb to speak he nods, curls bouncing with every motion.

“Awe baby, s’okay,” you coo as you hook your legs over his thighs, “if you want I can make it all better. Want me to kiss it better?”

Eddie stares at you unblinkingly, mouth parted slightly in awe. Again he nods but this time you tsk at him, shaking your head back and forth in disapproval.

“I asked you a question, honey, I need your words. Do you want me to make it better?” You pout your lips at him and he swallows harshly.

“Please make it better, hurts s’bad.” He slurs, already drunk off your touch without even really feeling it just yet.

“Such a good boy begging me so nicely.”

Slowly you move forward, capturing his soft lips into a needy kiss. Despite being a virgin Eddie does a good job kissing you, not going overboard with too much tongue or sloppy movements.

Taking a chance and wanting to take care of the growing pulse that grows in between your thighs, you begin to rock hesitantly over his hard length. The intense spark you feel jolting through your veins is verbalized with the wanton moan that rips from Eddie’s throat and vibrates into your mouth.

Picking up your momentum you can’t help but roll your eyes into the back of your head, the rough material of his jeans adding extra intensity to your pulsing bundle of nerves. Eddie isn't any better, his face is flushed red, bangs sticking to his forehead due to the amount of sweat that beads from his hairline, and his chest rattles from all the moaning sobs that leave his open mouth.

Opening your eyes you can't help but snort at Eddie's awkward hand placement. They hang in the air, itching to grasp at something but too nervous to give into the temptation.

Letting your hips come to a complete stop, you gently cup his cheeks in the palm of your hand. Hazy eyes open and look right at you, a thousand tiny specks of glitter shimmer in the big brown pools, sweeping you right into his vortex.

"Eddie honey, do you want to touch me?" Despite the dryness that lingers in your mouth, your words drip and saturate the boy beneath you in love and care.

"If that's okay with you, I don't want to make you uncomfortable or anything. So like if you don't want me to I won't-" You stop his rambles with a quick kiss to his lips.

Pulling away with a small giggle you look at him the same way he's looking at you, disgustingly in awe.

"I want you to touch me, Eddie. Bet your hands would feel so nice on me, so big and strong."

With the thought of it makes your underwear even wetter, so wet that you know when you get off his lap there will be a big wet stain. Not wanting to wait any longer you pull your shirt over your head, revealing the pretty white lace bra that holds your breast into place.

Eddie looks something like a fish, opening and closing his mouth with unspoken words that get caught in his throat. Although it's funny watching your best friend so speechless, you can't help but adore his childlike wonder.

Gripping his wrists in your hand and pull them towards you placing them on your tits, squeezing his fingers around the doughy flesh causing you to hiss in satisfaction.

"F-fuck you're so hot." It's breathless when it comes out.

Eddie follows your lead, fondling your round breasts in the palms of his big hands. The feeling of his grip causes you to resume your motions, grinding harder on his lap trying to relieve the hammering thump in between your legs.

You remember in the fog of your lust that this wasn't about you, it was in fact about your best friend who is currently trying to hold himself together.

Again you stop your movements, pulling his hands from your lace covered chest, and move from his lap.

"W-wait, what's- what are you doing?" Eddie is more than frantic, he's completely distraught with the absence of your weight on his legs.

Pinching his cheek sweetly, you push his legs apart to create enough room for yourself. Sinking to your knees, you move into the space you've created for yourself.

"I'm doing what I said I was going to do, I'm going to kiss it better." You drag your nails up his jean covered thighs, gazing up at him with doe eyes acting as if you aren't making one of his dreams come true.

"Yeah yeah, fuck okay." Babbling like an idiot, Eddie stares at you completely shocked as if you didn't promise this to him earlier.

Raising your eyebrows at him, you wait for him to catch on to what you're waiting for. It doesn't hit him until you clear your throat and point at the handcuff belt that hold his jeans in place.

"Oh shit, right. Let me just get these off." Going as fast as his shaking hands will allow him, he goes to undo his belt and push his pants just below his balls.

His cock bounces from their confines, hitting his tee shirt covered navel with a small thud. You can't help but gawk at the sight of him. Eddie's packing more than you ever imagined, long and thick with a prominent vein running along the underside. The tip is a pretty pink shade that shines from the pearls of precum that dripples from the slit.

Your mouth fills with saliva just from the sight alone. The dark brown thatch of curls that sit at the base match the hair on his heavy balls. You weren't someone who found genitalia appetizing but man oh man was did your best friend's look good enough to eat.

The small silence that settled between you two has clearly made Eddie anxious. His chocolate brown eyes look anywhere but you and the thick chunky rings that sit on his fingers have become his clear fascination, twisting them around and around his thick digits.

Not wanting him to sit with his thoughts any longer, you lean up enough to capture his kiss bitten lips in a passionate kiss. This time it's all teeth and tongue, spit swapping between the two of you.

When you both pull away you wish you could continue kissing him, fuck the oxygen that you need all you want is Eddie.

Sitting back down on your knees, you let spit dripple down onto his stiff shaft. Clasping your hand around him you begin to jerk him off slowly, not wanting the moment to be over fast.

Eddie on the other hand is fighting for his life, lip pulled between his teeth and his eyebrows pinching together. You drink it up like a plant in the middle of a drought.

"You're s'pretty, Eds and your cock, fuck it's so pretty too." You coo, to prove your point you press kisses up and down his length.

"Mmm s-shit, your ha- your hand feels so good." Eddie's voice is completely strained, his jugular vein pocking out every once and a while.

It doesn't take a rocket scientist to know that Eddie's nearing the end, the shaking and tensing of his thighs a clear sign. Wanting him to experience it all, you envelope the tip of his cock into your mouth, swirling your tongue around it and licking along the slit to collect the salty bead of pre that beads out of it.

Moving your mouth lower, you take him halfway into your mouth and allow your hand to jerk off whatever you can't take. The hand that braces itself on his thigh snakes its way to the heavy sack that sits just below his cock, kneading it in the palm of your hand gently.

Without needing instruction Eddie's hand finds it's way to your head, gripping your hair at the scalp and pulling out it with vigor. The pain and arousal that sparks within you causes you to moan around him, making him sob out in ecstasy.

"F-uh, oh don't stop I'm gonna- shit I'm gonna cum!"

Moving your head as fast as you can, you move to the tip to avoid chocking on the salty release. Still pumping your hand up and down on his cock you collect his warm seed in your mouth, letting it pool on your tongue.

Above you Eddie is a screaming mess, blabbing nonsense and groaning loudly. To no one's surprise Eddie cums and he cums a lot, so much so that it starts to dripple out the sides of your mouth with the string of your spit.

Once his breath returns to his lungs and his grip loosens on your hair, you let him fall out of your mouth with a lewd pop. When your eyes make eye contact with his own, you open your mouth to show him the pearly white of his release that sits on your pink tongue. Closing your mouth and swallowing it with a loud hum, you open your eyes to see Eddie completely gobsmack.

"Jesus sweetheart, you can't do shit like that unless you want me to get hard again." He says with an airy laugh.

You take his words as a threat, one that you'd be stupid not to take with the way your pussy flutters in need.

"Who said I was done, Munson?"

[sauntervaguelydown]

Love & Pratchett

The thing about Terry Pratchett is that he wrote about people falling in love plenty, but he never wrote about what I'd call typical romance. When love is sincere and profound it is also very... understated. Practical. Sybil & Vimes--his most famous couple--are like this. The demonstration of devotion is in small things, like wearing the horrible uncomfortable socks your wife made for you because she made them for you. There's a sense of the inevitable about them coming together.

In many cases you wouldn't know it was romance except that the recognizable formula of "boy and girl" picks it out. Look at Newt & Anathema in Good Omens--that's classic Pratchett. They barely exchange a romantic word and in fact it's almost out of Anathema's hands whether she's going to hook up with this absolute soyboy (affectionate). She's not really that nice to him. I always get the impression that the core of their connection is that they're bonded by this experience that no one else can understand. Bonding through shared experience (and even trauma) is a common theme in these subplots.

There's definitely a few showier romance plots, but they're always very tongue in cheek--for example, the literal Romeo & Juliet in Unseen Academicals where Juliet is a very good hearted but basically stupid girl and the POV character is her exasperated mom-friend. There's a lot of gags in the early Discworld novels about male and female characters who Have to fall in love because that's the way narrative works. It's not that they're doomed to be unhappy or even fake or anything, they're just not that deep. Mostly, monogamy is a mundane affair and not really the business of onlookers anyway. Admittedly, the female pov characters have a tendency to wish that things could be a bit more... dramatic. Look at Angua, she's always vaguely frustrated that her boyfriend doesn't react to their relationship with a bit more angst, but ultimately she's practical too. She just wants her partner to be a bit less practical for a moment.

I just reread Nation. Nation isn't a Discworld novel, but I think in a lot of ways it's the most condensed Terry Pratchett you'll ever find in one place. Two characters who are both clever to start with, and wise by the ending, have fallen in love with each other. It's never directly stated. No one confesses to anyone. They get teased about it a little by adults around them. They rescue each other, perform feats of unasked-for heroism on each other's behalf. And at the end, although they want to stay together, they choose their responsibility to their families--and to the future of the world--over staying together. There's one kiss on the cheek as a farewell. But you know that they're still thinking of each other, because at the end of the timeline despite living worlds apart their entire lives, they ask to be buried together.

This is, in my estimation, is the most romantic thing in the Terry Pratchett catalogue. If I can be forgiven for pretending to know the mind of a stranger, I think this is what he found the most romantic. It really is just a profound friendship, between two people who maybe don't always understand each other but always respect each other. Sex really is just a bonus thing, it's nice and certain characters (Angua, Carrot come to mind) pretty clearly have a good time with it, but it's sort of taken for granted. Even kissing isn't all that important. You can't really tell who's in love with who in a Pratchett novel just by looking for physical demonstrations of affection.

Anyway, over the years of Good Omens discourse, this has been the main thing that informs my reading of Aziraphale & Crowley. I'm not widely read in Gaiman material, so I can't speak to that, but from a Pratchett-canon lens, Aziraphale and Crowley fit the vibes of a romantic relationship pretty well. The shared experience, the sense that only they really can understand each other because no one else has seen what they've seen. The heroic gesture of Crowley in the burning shop--the respect that they have for each other, despite the occasional bitching--the "ah. so it's like that." observation of people around them. And most of all, the way they come back together at the end of the novel in a poetic but understated moment, because coming back together of your own free will and going forward together is possibly the most romantic thing that a couple can do in a Pratchett novel.

[stvrdrops]

soul ties ☆ | shuri x fem!reader

love at first sight was something everyone believed in. for wakandans, it was something entirely different. it was the belief that bast had created lines to connect each human to their perfect fit. shuri believed that you were the end of that line for her.

warnings : some fighting mentioned, mature themes, and cursing.

word count : 6.2k+

note : i would play the song right when the word "she" is highlighted. :) also this is the largest fic i've ever written so yayyy

song : un-thinkable (i'm ready) by alicia keys ft. drake

"shuri?" a voice peeks through shuri's daydreaming. when the princess looks slightly down to her left she sees riri speaking to her.

"are you even paying attention to the tour?"

"yes, of course i am." shuri says in a tone that sounds almost as if she were offended that riri would even ask such a question. even though she did in fact have her attention elsewhere.

"don't front. what do you see that's so important?"

riri follows shuri's eyesight across the quad, until it lands on you. her face lights up and her eyes widen.

of course. she thinks as she watches you in a world entirely of your own. your airpod maxes had been on and you were stuck in a studying session. your braided hair was tied back into a long ponytail, keeping the strands from falling in your face. riri could see even from afar that you were wearing very little makeup. your natural face was the one she preferred, and it was one shuri quickly grew attached to. you were in spandex shorts and a red hoodie that proudly repped MIT in white lettering.

"no."

shuri looks back over to riri, "what?"

"i said no. you're not going to get anywhere with her. no one has. not even i could crack that code." riri mumbles out, clearly butthurt.

"so, i'm hearing that you two know each other."

riri rolls her eyes, "yeah, we're friends. i tutored her last year."

"will you introduce me?"

"no."

"the dean said meeting fellow students would be a good idea. y'know, so i can be more accustomed."

"the dean ain't here though, is she?"

"oh don't be like that."

riri grumbles. she assumes that it can't hurt to introduce the two of you. it's not like any of the other generational wealth kids impressed you. however, a princess with panther powers just might do the trick.

"fine. you get five minutes."

shuri smiles and begins making her way towards you. with every step she noticed how much more beautiful you got. she also happened to notice how her heart would be tugged on, as if being pulled along on a string by you. you reminded her of the beauty she found in wakanda. with your rich skin and dark brown eyes, she couldn't help but notice you.

shadows of figures fall over your textbooks as you were reading over a line about quantum physics. annoyance began to bubble up, considering you had to have all of this material memorized by tomorrow afternoon for a test.

your eyes raise to meet the people causing the shadows, ready to ask them exactly what it was that they needed. that is, until you see riri, and a face you've only ever known in the news. your hands quickly find their way to your headphones, slipping them around your neck.

"hey y/n." riri says so casually that it shocks you. did she not know who was standing right beside her?

"uh, hey riri."

riri does her silly smile that she does every time you say her name. you knew she was utterly smitten with you, but you also knew that your friendship to her mattered more than anything.

"hi y/n." shuri says with a sultry wakandan accent. riri knew that wasn't how she usually talked, all sexy like that. a swift elbow was placed into shuri's side. due to her panther powers she could barely feel it.

"are you who i think you are?" you can't help but ask, struggling to pick your jaw up from the floor. shuri was someone you would say you looked up to. politics was something you were extremely interested in and watching her on tv speak about wakanda inspired you deeply. you wished so badly to visit wakanda since they opened up their borders, but their policy on foreigners remained the same. they were not to enter unless absolutely necessary. riri was only granted access because of her and shuri's close friendship, that riri never thought to mention until now.

she laughs, which makes your eyes light up. riri notices and figures it's just because you're starstruck. that's what you assume too, but it doesn't feel like that.

"yeah, this is the princess of wakanda, shuri." riri says as she rolls her dark brown eyes, "enough about her though," she slides next to you on the bench. "what are you studying?"

"i'm trying to study quantum physics right now. which is proving to be practically impossible." you say with a heavy sigh. at this rate you were doomed.

"oh, that's real easy baby. i can help you with it later tonight if you want." riri says as her eyes rake over the material in the book.

"very funny riri."

"no, i'm serious. i'm holding a little study session later for shuri to meet some friends. i know you don't hang out with my crew all like that but you're welcome to join."

the invite is enticing.

"i happen to know a decent amount of quantum physics myself." shuri says with a charming smile, "i can help you if you need it."

now the invite seems even more enticing.

"i mean, i guess. as long as we actually study. last time you had a 'study session' we all ended up high."

riri puts her arm around your shoulder, "yeah, but you passed that test the next morning, didn't you?"

a smile can't help but make its way across your face, "yeah, that's true."

"mhm, i thought so."

"shouldn't you be off giving the princess a tour?"

"shuri." the wakandan says.

"hm?" you ask, your eyes torn away from riri.

"you can just call me shuri." she says, "no need for formalities."

"oh, okay. shuri." you say, testing how her name sounds against your tongue. it feels natural and comfortable. shuri would be lying if she said her heart didn't flutter.

riri's eyes shift back and forth as they watch you and shuri.

"ookayyy. yeah, it's time for us to go shuri." riri speaks as she gets up from her spot next to you. she walks back over to shuri, who is still gazing at you. "see you later y/n."

"bye girls." you say as you watch them walk away. riri is saying something to shuri with a weird look on her face, but you can't tell what it is. you're just surprised you kept your cool in shuri's company.

then almost as if by clockwork, your phone begins to ring. you stare at the name on the screen and a sigh leaves you. of course he's calling.

"y/n is here!" riri shouts to the rest of the guests in the room. the couch had been filled with the couple guests riri had waiting in her living room. you thought this was going to be a small gathering, which granted it was. six people, including yourself, wasn't even all that bad. you just felt like you weren't going to actually study tonight after seeing them all. also, you were the only one with a school book in your hand. you weren't surprised to see a few people you knew, with the exception of one girl who had been in the kitchen with shuri.

you set the book onto the table as you take a seat on a beanbag. you notice the girl you're unfamiliar with is hanging onto shuri in the kitchen, keeping her preoccupied with conversation. however, when she feels a gaze lingering on her she's not shocked to see that it's yours. despite how fast you looked away, she knew you were staring.

"you want a hit?" a girl you recognize as karly says before extending her arm out to you. you can't help but look at riri, who just shrugs at you.

"sure." it can't hurt to relax if everyone else was. besides, this might be exactly what you needed. if you took a break from studying maybe you'd do better on the test type deal.

you take a hit of the blunt, making sure to show off how much experience you have with one. it felt good as it scratched the back of your throat. it took you some time to get used to the feeling. now you could successfully take in large amounts without coughing your guts out.

"we got a pro over there." riri says with a smirk on her face. she moves closer to you and sits on the floor. you pass her the blunt and she takes a hit equivalent to yours.

"with the amount of times you persuade me to smoke with you i should be a pro by now."

she laughs at your remark and passes the blunt onto someone else.

shuri makes her way into the room after watching the conversation for a while. you could tell from her eyes that she had already had the blunt a couple times. you wondered how she looked as she smoked. she takes a spot on a chair opposite of the beanbag.

"ri, so you ain't gonna update us on you and justice? i saw you sneak back into the apartments with her. it's almost like you forget that just because you stay in the bougie ass campus apartments means we can't spy on you."

"she not important."

"mhm, not like how y/n is."

riri narrows her eyes at her friends.

you laugh though, the weed taking your edge off. "i don't think my boyfriend would like that very much."

the whole room's eyes are now on you. your smile slowly dissipates from your face and your eyes go wide when you realize what you've said.

"boyfriend? since when the fuck do you have a boyfriend?" riri asks, a bit hurt that you never bothered to tell her this information.

"since my senior year of high school. he goes to a different school out of state." you say this so matter of factly. you weren't lying, you did have a boyfriend. he did also attend an out of state school. he was studying computer engineering. he was pissed when he didn't get into MIT and you did. he viewed it as an insult to his intelligence. that should've been one of your first of many red flags. you two talked at max five times a day. any more than that would just be a headache. two busy schedules don't mix well, especially when sometimes you're filling up your schedule just to make sure you had a solid excuse for missed calls.

"you didn't think that was important to tell us? no wonder someone hasn't been walking on campus bragging about how they nailed you." jacari says, a mutual friends of your's and riri's.

"lay off, at least she's faithful." karly says, staring daggers at him.

"i mean, you guys don't really ask me about my romantic life because you assumed there wasn't one."

"is there one? if he's out of state i'm sure that's hard to deal with." shuri can't help but say. the entire room turns to look at her, surprised she's asked such a question like that. she barely knew you. the one fact that she now did know about you was that you had a boyfriend that you didn't like to bring up. that was something she wasn't hoping to learn at all.

"yes, i have a very happy relationship with him." you say, knowing it's a lie. why are you lying? are you still trying to convince yourself? just today when he called you as you studied you argued with him. he wanted to stay where he was at for spring break and you wanted him to come visit you. it was months away, but you had to plan these things in advance with him. he never came to see you anymore. just this past christmas he lied saying he couldn't get out of his internship, but instead he was at his mother's house opening presents as she asked where you were.

you should have broken up with him by now. however, he was comfortable for you. did you really have the time to get to know someone entirely new? did you want to relearn someone's favorite color, zodiac sign, dreams, and goals? granted, there were plenty of choices in front of you that you already knew. such as riri, who you could see yourself being with. however, you prized her friendship so much more.

"that was intrusive, forgive me." shuri apologizes. her thick accent making your skin crawl.

"it's okay.." you mutter out.

"what's his name?" she asks, desperate to get any more information out of you. really, she just likes to hear your voice.

"monty." you say, his nickname rolling so easily off of your tongue, "i mean, his real name is montell. i call him monty."

"he sounds nerdy as fuck." riri can't help but say out of her own saltiness.

"i mean, he is."

"oh my god, so when was the last time you had an orgasm?" the mystery girl can't help but ask.

now this was a question shuri was interested in.

"i don't know. the beginning of this past summer." you wouldn't dare tell them that it had been one you pulled out of yourself.

"sis, you're kidding." jacari says, shocked at how long it had been. "y'all don't have phone sex?"

not even once.

"nah, it just never comes up for us." you try to say in a nonchalant manner, as if it doesn't bother you how you don't get turned on for him anymore. as if you ever did.

"that sounds miserable."

"it is." you can't lie as you laugh, "i've been itching to have sex for a while now. guess it'll just have to wait."

"whew, you're better than i am. i would've fucked half the campus by now if i were you." jacari continues on before taking a hit.

the conversation ends abruptly when riri's roommate comes out of her room and towards you.

"i need my beanbag please." she says, standing right over you. "i'm about to start studying and i'd rather not do it on my bed."

it takes a second to realize what she's saying to you through your high.

"yeah, of course." you say as you get up, pulling the chair from beside you and handing it to her.

"thanks." she says kindly, and then glares at riri. she goes back into her room, leaving you to stand.

"that bitch is always tripping. she didn't need her damn chair. she's just mad i have people over." riri says as she glares towards the door.

shuri notices you're standing and her mouth begins to speak before she can stop herself.

"do you want to sit in my lap? it's probably more comfortable than the floor." shuri offers up, everyone looking at her with wide eyes. it was a bold move that she was practically flirting with you despite finding out you have a boyfriend. also, after insulting the said relationship between the two of you.

of course, you didn't pick up on how charged that question really was. you were naturally oblivious to that stuff.

"yeah, okay. thanks." you say as you sit on her lap, or more specifically her knee. your spandex shorts made it so that practically every inch of your exposed skin was touching with hers, considering she had on shorts as well. you could tell they were riri's.

maybe it was the weed, or maybe it was the lack of sexual release. all you knew was that it felt damn good to have yourself pressed up against her knee. it was like she was teasing you, without even having to do it on purpose. you felt embarrassed as you felt yourself pulse from the closeness and how wonderful it felt. you attempted to get up, scared that she might know how you were feeling. however, her arm quickly found its way around your waist as she held you down onto her lap. your skin covered itself with goosebumps from the dominating grab. it was hard to act like you were interested in whatever conversation riri and her friends had been having with one another. shuri, on the other hand, had no problem continuing in the conversation as she felt how warm you were.

really shuri had not noticed just how bold her movements were. she had this want to protect you, as if you were hers. she wondered if it was because of her panther powers. however, she also wondered if it was something more. the reality that you had a boyfriend kept her from doing anything unwanted. she didn't know the way you felt towards her, if you had any feelings at all. if she couldn't get to know you in a romantic way then a friendly manner would have to do. even if she would ache for something more despite just meeting you this afternoon. shuri recalled a moment with her brother earlier in her life that left her thinking for the rest of the day after meeting you.

"when did you know nakia was the one for you, brother?"

he chuckles, "when i saw her."

shuri couldn't believe it, "what kind of hopeless romantic answer is that?"

"exactly what i just said. bast created soul ties underneath the rich vibranium soils that our eyes are unable to see. even us panthers can not view where the lines lead us. however, we can see when they have reached their destination. when you see that person, you just know that this is where your line ends. you know that bast made you for one another. you also know that you no longer need to search for that line."

"is there a chance that bast would forget to create a line for me? or at least, in the same way she created nakia's to you?" shuri began to wonder, scared because when she was young she didn't know where her sexuality laid.

"oh sweet little sister," he sighs, "bast would never forget to make you a person. after all, your annoying tendencies were made for someone to love."

"ugh, you suck!" shuri says, a wide smile on her face as she playfully hits her brother. he just smiles in return.

shuri believed that she saw the soul tie that connected to you. an american girl who she had never seen before. her brother was gone, but he was right.

your phone that is sitting in your lap starts to buzz, interrupting your train of thought as you attempt to uphold your composure and try not to seem too high. you squint your eyes at the bright screen.

"hi monty." you answer the phone, buzzed enough to sound happy that he's called. shuri watches the phone out of the corner of her eye. she's too curious to see what her competition looks like. he's sun kissed and has a buzz cut. he looked just as nerdy as his name sounded.

"where are you at?" he asks, not greeting her back.

"i'm at riri's."

shuri watches as his face turns into one of disgust. "i thought i told you to stop going over there. all she ever does is get you high."

riri is far too buzzed and in her own world to realize what he's said. shuri heard it though, and furrowed her brows.

"getting high is my own choice, monty. i know you get high with your frat bros in north carolina."

"it's different."

no it isn't.

"wait a minute, are you sitting on some other dude's lap?" he asks, as all he can see is shuri's curly hair.

"no, this is shuri. like the princess of wakanda shuri." you whisper that last part into the phone. it shows just how truly geeked you are.

"you're lying. that's a fucking dude."

before you can say anything, shuri takes the phone from you and puts it on her own face. you watch as monty's face goes wide and for once he has nothing to say.

"hello montell."

"oh, um. i-i'm sorry, princess." monty is scrambling to find the words and shuri can tell he wants to hang up. he always hated to be embarrassed. being embarrassed by royalty was the lowest it could get.

you take the phone back before he gets the chance to hang up, "wait, monty, what were you calling for?"

"well, i thought about what you were saying earlier. i'll come home for spring break. i miss you baby."

his voice sounded so insincere and shuri cringed at it. this was the man who got to claim you as his own? you had a beauty unrivaled and here you were wasting it on some man who couldn't even seem excited about seeing you. she felt offended for you, even though you were use to this by now.

"really? what made you change your mind?"

"i don't know. i guess i'll see you over break though. we can talk more about this at another time."

you knew what he meant by this.

"i'm not out partying, monty."

"you are. at least be a responsible adult and get up for your classes tomorrow. bye."

"bye." you say back, unwilling to fight.

when he hangs the phone up you realize the everyone is looking at you. your face heats up from noticing that everyone probably witnessed that entire exchange. of course they caught him on a night where he was being a dick. it was pretty much every night, so this did make your case to defend him a little harder. you didn't want to get up from shuri's knee considering it felt so nice up against you. however, you also didn't want to hear any comments from the gallery.

"i'm going to go home." you say, pulling yourself into sobriety after that conversation. "hope you all have a good night."

shuri lets you up from her lap. she feels bad you're walking home but it's not like you've never done it before. the heat you resonated leaves her feeling cold when you stand away from her. everything inside of her is screaming for her to grab you back into her arms and keep you there. a part of you wanted that too, but it was unrecognizable.

riri hands you the physics book on the table. "get home safe, y/n."

"i always do."

you got home safe that night. you also searched for an orgasm multiple times that night as you recalled how good you felt against her. you replicated her knee with a pillow and held on tight to yourself with your free hand. you tried so desperately to think of monty as you rocked against it. however, nothing worked. all you could do was imagine your head placed in the crook of the princess's neck, smelling her enticing cologne. you could hear her wakandan accent telling you how good you were doing and how badly she craved you. they were all words that monty could never say to you. they were words you searched so bad for because you ached for her praise. only when you moaned out her name as you finished made you so self aware to what you had been doing. this made you dig your head into your pillow, still heaving from the high.

what you did weighed heavy on your conscience. especially when you had been practically spending every day with shuri. she was basically attached to your hip. she joined your study sessions, she came with you to try american cuisine, her favorite being wingstop for some strange reason, and she even waited for you after every class. she was your best friend, making riri fall into second place.

at one point a rumor had been going around campus that the two of you were in a relationship, despite the fact you had a boyfriend. after all, who could deny a princess of the most powerful and advanced nation in the world? you could deny her as much as you wanted. however, you knew deep down that you couldn't do it for long. you didn't know how much longer you'd keep stringing monty and yourself along. commitment was something you were scared of. commitment to a future leader of a nation was something entirely different. what if you had decided to dump monty for a potential happy relationship with shuri? what would happen if it ended? you'd rather not think of all the possibilities, instead you preferred self sabotage. you appreciated shuri so dearly, in the a.m. and in the p.m. when you would finish to thoughts of her. whether it be how she played with your hair when she got bored, how she laughed so sweetly at your jokes, or how she constantly had her hand in yours or on your waist. you knew friends didn't do that. you knew that she also knew that.

the more time you spent with shuri meant the more time you spent ignoring monty. he saw paparazzi pictures that his friends would show him of the two of you together. he felt some type of way of course, blowing up your phone with "she might as well be your boyfriend the way she's touching on you." your only response being a swift "okay" and an "i'm sorry." you weren't sure how else to respond to him, knowing that you were cheating emotionally and even somewhat physically. you imagined that monty couldn't have stayed loyal to you with the lying he did. so what did it matter if you told a couple white lies too?

you didn't even realize that at one point whenever you brought him up you'd start referring to him again as his birth name, montell.

"montell?" you can't help but ask in surprise as you open the door to your dorm.

"surprise!" he says with the most emotion you've heard out of him in weeks. a bouquet of flowers are in his large hands. a nice turtleneck adorned his chest, which had gotten bigger. he must've been putting his frustration into working out. "you back to calling me by my birth name?"

he pushes his way into the dorm, looking around at your space that you shared with your roommate who had been out of town.

"um, you're early. a week early." you express to him, rubbing your forehead. you weren't prepared for his arrival in the slightest. your hair had been pulled into a bun and your face was bare. you adorned some grey sweatpants that did not belong to you. shuri had left them here the last time she slept over. she claimed it was "too warm" in the room to wear such pants. instead she wore a pair of your shorts that you never got back.

"you weren't going to tell me that your spring break started a week earlier than mine? i just decided to do my coursework ahead of time and then surprise you."

"honestly it slipped my mind." you say, which was the truth.

he sets the bouquet down.

"you look pretty." he says as he gets closer to you. his hands grab your waist, pulling you in and looking at you as if he wanted to devour you. it was almost as if he had forgotten how pretty you were. or maybe he was just jealous, because he knew the pants were too big for you.

you wanted to pull away, not wanting to kiss him despite thinking that you had been missing him all this time.

"not right now, i kinda just woke up." you say, which was a lie. it was eight p.m. on a rainy night. you could never sleep when it rained.

"okay, i guess later then when we go out to dinner. you looked like you were expecting somebody though with the way you opened up the door. is it that stupid princess you've been hanging around?"

there was the montell you were used to. a jealous, insecure, fucking man child.

"no." you say, a lie. your face scrunches up in disgust that he would refer to her in that tone.

he knows you're lying.

"okay. so if i wait up around in here she's not gonna show up?"

"i don't know. i can't control what she does."

"bullshit. you've got her walking around behind you like you're the one who's royalty. call her."

what?

"no."

"i said, fucking call her."

before you can say anything he's attempting to grab your phone. you put up a good fight, causing the phone to get launched right into his face. you gasp when you've realized what you did. instant regret fills your body as you spurt out countless apologizes.

"it would've been better if you just fucked her, y/n. cause then i could confidently say i don't give a fuck about you and finally tell you about all the girls i've been nailing since i went away. heh, just like how you've been. guess we finally have something in common."

your eyes go wide at his words. there it was. there was the truth that you had been begging to hear in some deep part of your brain. those were the words that could allow you to finally let him go. this was the moment you decided that you weren't okay with being 'comfortable' anymore. you were utterly repulsed at him and yourself for letting this go on for so long. for months you refused to act on impulses that you craved so badly to have. your lip trembled when you thought about how you could've kissed shuri ten times over by now. you had been holding onto something that you didn't realize had no real value to you anymore. and for what? to be treated like some idiot? you didn't deserve that.

"get the fuck out. you should've never come home."

"yeah i should've stayed with my other girlfriend. at least she doesn't flaunt herself around with other people in fucking tabloids. it's embarrassing you know that? when your buddies send you links of some bitch having her arm wrapped around your girlfriend? they teased me about it in my frat for weeks after she got caught playing in your hair and looking so lovey dovey with you. they called me a pussy for not coming back home sooner."

"so that's why you came back? to prove yourself to some idiot frat boys who are gonna be stuck drinking out of kegs the rest of their life while you write all their code, making them the millionaires? get the fuck out montell."

"you bitch-"

"i said leave."

you don't have to tell him again before he's grabbing up his roses and muttering curse words at you under his breath. you held your composure until he slammed the door shut. when surrounded in your own hospitality you finally crack. the tears fall down your face and plop as they hit the wooden floor. you were crying because you were upset about losing someone you loved. you were crying because you had let yourself be played for a fool for so long. a part of you feels liberated as the weight of montell is lifted off of your shoulders.

"y/n?" a voice says from behind the door. you recognize it's shuri.

attempting to speak only results in you being choked up. the door opens as you raise your head to look up at her.

her grey hoodie that says MIT has raindrops all over it. her curls are wet and drip against the wood floors. she looked beautiful despite being soaked. the fact she looked so beautiful made you cry even more.

when she lays her eyes on you she can't help but immediately rush over. she drops the books about physics she had in her hand. she had every intention on coming over here to study with you, but now she didn't care about any of that. she had never seen you like this before. her only priority was you. her heart was set solely on you.

"what happened?" she asks, her arms wrapped around your body as you huddled into yourself. you don't dare to look at her, feeling too ashamed.

"montell.. i'm so stupid." you manage to choke out.

shuri puts it all together. she thought that man she had passed in the hallway just now looked familiar. she knew even more that something was up when he gave her a glare that could've had him killed. had she known he left you like this, she would've killed him herself. how dare he cause such pain to someone who did nothing but care for others?

"whatever happened, you are not stupid. you are one of the brightest girls i know, and that's saying a lot."

you somehow manage to laugh and look back up at her. she's still holding on tight, making you feel warm in her embrace. it reminds you of the study session at riri's. it feels pure. it feels like you're the only person in the world to her.

she wipes away your tears with the pads of her thumbs, her eyebrows contorted into a face that resembles worry.

"please don't cry. you are too pretty to cry over such ugly things. i hate to see you cry."

you think that this is exactly how love is supposed to feel as she says those words to you.

"shuri.."

"y/n. you make me feel things that i've never felt before. you're something that is so impossible to ignore that i can't help but spend every second with you. you put up with my annoying tendencies. you put up with my clinginess. you put up with my lack of american pop culture knowledge. you denied me my feelings because you knew it was the wrong thing to do if you fell into my temptation. i know you know deep down how i feel for you. it is quite obvious. you are an angel among men, y/n. you are my angel. you've saved me in ways that you can't even begin to think of. i never had any intentions on falling in love with you, but it has happened. you may not be in love with me but you are what makes my world spin. you are what makes my oceans flow and earth quake. you are exactly who bast intended me for and i can't ignore this anymore. i can't let you sit here and think you are foolish when you are anything but. you are considerate, you are kind, you are a person worthy of being a queen. you are my queen, wakanda's future queen."

her words have shocked you as you sit there, eyes wide and your mouth partly gaped open. you thought you'd want to hear those words from montell, but really it had been shuri all along. you couldn't ignore your feelings towards her after a love confession of such caliber. it had shaken you to your core and it took you out of your sadness. your heart was beating at a dangerous tempo, but it was aligned with hers. you didn't know what she meant by her goddess creating you for her, but you could feel it. you could feel it because you knew she was made for you as well.

you hadn't realized, but you knew everything about her. you knew shuri's favorite color was purple. you knew her zodiac sign was sagittarius. you knew her dreams and goals of advancing wakanda. you also knew how scared she was to become the future queen as she once cried in your arms.

you love shuri. you love her so much that it made you blind. you'd rather ignore that feeling than feed into it, but that's all changed now. she took the lead tonight and now it was time for you to express what came to your mind.

so you did.

your lips connected to hers in a wild frenzy. finally you were quenching this thirst you had been searching for since she came into your life. after all this time you were doing the unthinkable. you were allowing yourself to be her's, rather than anyone else's. your fears of commitment felt like things of the past when your hands made their way to her face. her skin felt so soft against yours, as it got wet from your tears. her plump lips are attached to your soft ones. it felt like you were intertwining yourself with her. for shuri, it felt like the soul ties were becoming knotted into one. finally she had you and she had no plans of ever letting you go. this was the unthinkable and it was so beautiful as you held onto each other, placing intimate kisses one one another. this was you saying you loved her just as deeply as she loved you, in very little words.

you were ready. after all this time you were ready to see what was right in front of you this whole time. you could never go back to what it was before. she was your soulmate.

"i'm sorry." you whisper out after you pull away to breathe.

her hands begin caressing your face as her eyebrows furrow. "what are you sorry for, my love?"

"i'm sorry for not doing this any sooner. i'm so sorry."

"you never have to apologize to me. i would've waited until the end of time for you."

you smile, feeling your heart swell.

as the rain falls down around outside of your dorm walls, you stay in her embrace. shuri could feel her brother smiling at her from a distant plane, knowing in death that he was right. he had been smiling even brighter at the prospect that shuri did indeed find her nakia.

˖⁺｡˚⋆˙✧⋆｡°✩☼⋆｡°✩☽︎

[luveline]

can i request reader who has trouble sleeping accidentally falling asleep on james or sirius in front of everyone? <3

yes u can tysm!!! I went with sirius!! ♡ fem!reader

You've had trouble sleeping since forever, but this seems to be new information for Sirius. 

"Why'd you look so sad?" he asks softly. 

You squint up at him, puzzled. He's pulled his hair back into a low ponytail that suits him more than you can describe – something about the unfettered view of his lovely cheekbones, maybe. He's a pair of small golden hoops in his lobes that glow against his tanned skin. They catch your eyes, the shine soft and distractingly pretty. 

"Hey, are you with me?" he asks. 

His dark eyes crease even deeper with concern. 

"No, I'm okay. Sorry, I swear I'm not looking through you. Just tired." 

"Yeah? Didn't sleep well?"

A fallen hair curls at the neck of his jacket. You pluck it up and roll it off of your thumb. Your eyes burn when you look at the ground, the uni hall floors always blindingly clean. "Yeah." 

He tilts his head. You have the prickly feeling of being assessed then and have to resist the urge to squirm on the spot. 

"You didn't wanna take the day off?" he asks. You might make a joke about his trying to get you to go home; a 'tell me how you really feel' begs to be said, but you won't mess around, not when he looks so sweetly concerned. 

"I'm okay." 

Sirius is a good friend. Unexpected in that you'd never imagined he'd speak to you, or that the friendship might last so long, and decidedly good. He pulls a familiar canvas rucksack off of his shoulder and digs around in the back. He offers you a little bottle of caffeine chewables and a cereal bar, the sticky, tough kind with more sugar than nutrition. You accept the cereal but ignore the pills. 

"Caffeine puts me in a cycle," you tell him. 

"Do you have a drink?" he asks.

You've hardly said not yet when he passes you his metal flask. 

"Meet me after lecture and we'll go up to the Slug for dinner?" he asks, knowing you'll say yes. 

You nod predictably. "Who's coming?" 

"Everyone. Maybe." 

You meet him after your lecture and head up to the Slug, a big, rundown pub with high ceilings and paisley carpets rumoured to have once been burgundy. He guides you with an amicable hand pressed lightly to the top of your shoulder, down a handful of steps into the 'pit', a mess of booths and lacquered wooden chairs. The smell of cider is sickly sweet, masked only by the stuffiness of decade old smoke. 

Your friends sit in the nook. 

"Hi," you say, barely stopping to glance at Remus as you climb over a chair to sit beside him. 

Sirius follows, to Marlene's abject delight. She quickly has him helping her with coursework. A mess of loose leaf grid paper covers her entire table. The girls sitting with her – Lily, Dorcas, and Mary – have started to rest their drinks on her precious workings, to her chagrin. 

"Respect the graphs!" she says. 

You huff and deflate in your chair. 

"You've Marl's coursework stuck to your foot," Remus says, pushing his bowl of chips toward you. 

You steal one gratefully and lift your foot. "Oh." 

Sirius nabs it for you. He takes a second to look you over, gaze clearly snagging on your puffy eyes before it recentres.

"Don't mind if I have this, do you?" he asks. 

You moan. You hope it says what you want it to. Yes, you can, but it is a big inconvenience to me and you definitely owe me. 

Sirius wrinkles his nose at you with a laugh and turns back to Marlene.

Remus has the brilliant talent of knowing when someone needs peace and quiet. He leaves you to your own devices and turns back to his book. You watch him turn the pages for a while, your eyes growing heavier and heavier, as does your body. You feel your limbs as if they're piped with lead.

Sirius finally turns to you again. You're excited for his attention and try to liven up unsuccessfully, face turned into the rough material of the booths seat. He frowns at your and slides his arm between your cheek and the seat, hand clapping your back amicably.

"You alright?" he asks.

"Yeah, I'm okay. Did you..." You yawn. "What are you gonna have?"

"I was thinking about fish and chips, honestly. What do you want? I'll get yours at the same time."

"Um, maybe," — his eyes are sweet and soft and so, so dark, staring down at you with endless patience — "maybe I'll have fish and chips as well."

"Copycat." He grins.

"Sirius, what the fuck is this?" Marlene demands, sounding petrified.

He turns from you quick. His arm around your shoulder pulls you with him, your face falling into the space just below his collar. Your nose presses to his jacket and you catch his scent there, a warm musk. Vanilla for certain, a sweetness hiding just underneath. Your hands fall useless in your lap as you let yourself sink into him, stealing all his warmth and comfort.

His hand moves of its own accord up and down your back. It's a nice feeling. It's a really nice feeling. Your eyes slip closed, and you tell yourself you'll open them when he turns to speak with you again.

Sirius finishes his explanation though whether he truly grasps the material is beyond him. He pats your shoulder, the start of an apology on his lips when he notices your stillness.

Your face tucked and slipping down the line of his chest, you've fallen asleep. He pulls the zipper of his jacket away from your cheek as carefully as he can and feels something near his heart surge. Relief, he thinks, to see you sleeping when you'd looked heartbreakingly exhausted before. And fondness, because you're pretty when you're snoozing, lips a little smushed together in a pout and face smooth of any wrinkles.

Sirius meets eyes with Remus and smiles sheepishly at the smugness on his friends face.

"Poor girl," he says under his breath, stroking down your arm with the side of his hand.

He settles in, content to be a human pillow.

[blue--ingenue]

Ominis Gaunt headcannons - {Pt. 3}

Author's Note: i'm back from the dead :) sorry for the extended hiatus! college is once again taking up all of my time, and my computational nuclear materials research is ramping up hehehe. i've been itching to write some Ominis fluff for awhile, and some lovely tags from @heyheyits-angel have inspired me to post for the first time in awhile :) hope you enjoy, and hopefully i'll see y'all in the next post in a few days!

at least one of the mermaids of the Black Lake fancies him. he often tucks into one of the plush armchairs near the windows looking into the lake with a book and steaming cup of Earl Grey. one of the mermaids is quite taken with his gentle demeanor and beautiful eyes, and a few students even swear she tries reading over his shoulder through the glass

Ominis never believes the students who try to alert him to this one-sided friendship. (he’s used to bullies trying to trick him into believing something they know he cannot see for himself). he finally believes them one day while he’s busy teasing a group of first-years. he tells them that a few hours of patient waiting may lead to an encounter when they suddenly gasp and exclaim that a mermaid is hovering near his shoulder on the other side of the glass

he’s about to open his mouth to tell them off when he hears tapping from the other side of the window

Sebastian teases him about his “secret admirer,” but Ominis, who hates the feeling of being watched, decides to curl up near the fireplace couches for the rest of term

extremely grumpy when he first wakes up. he takes great pride in his appearance, so he doesn’t want people seeing him before he’s finished putting himself together for the day

his tousled blonde hair is impossibly soft and falls over bleary eyes. his pajama pants are just a tad too long and pool slightly around his feet. his sleeves are also just a size too large, making his slender hands just barely visible from beneath the emerald silk

he has a major sweet tooth. growing up, his parents rarely afforded him candies and desserts. Noctua always snuck him a batch of biscuits or a few chocolate frogs when his parents weren’t looking

similar to potions, he isn’t particularly skilled at baking. the house elves prepared everything for him at his family’s estate, and his mother seldom spent time with him unless absolutely necessary, so he’s never learned

you discover this one day (before the start of your relationship) and insist on teaching him. the Room of Requirement senses your predicament and conjures up a grand kitchen, replete with every type of pan and ingredient you could hope for

he’s hesitant at first, but there’s nothing he wouldn’t do to spend time in your presence. at first he thinks he’ll be observing you bake, but once you start guiding him, he’s a goner. you ask if he feels comfortable with you guiding his hands and his response is an enthusiastic ‘yes.’ you place your hands over his, coaxing him to chop, mix, and whisk ingredients, and he’s grateful you’re behind him if only to hide how his face burns at the contact

the next recipe you try is one of Noctua’s, his favorite teatime biscuits, in fact, and he nearly cries as he takes the first perfect bite

you fall asleep in the Room of Requirement, nestled amidst a mountain of velvet cushions and downey blankets. a few crumbs on a nearby plate are the only evidence of your endeavor. two identical cups of tea sit cooling, untouched, as he drifts off to somewhere the nightmares can’t reach him for the first time in years

[sophierequests]

hey!

i literally binge read all your kaz fics so i was wondering if you could write a kaz x reader where the reader is a love interest? defiantly something fluffy if possible

maybe as a prompt the reader is a uni student and none of the crows no about her but they’ve noticed kaz sneaking out to see her so they follow him and they finally meet? no pressure at all, just a suggestion!! 🫶

i can't deny it any longer

Navigation┃Main Masterlist┃Requests

Pairing: Kaz Brekker x f!Reader

A/N: Hi, love! I noticed your Kaz binge and I really appreciated it <333 I'm so glad you like what I write. I got way too deep into this request, but I really adored writing it, so I hope you like it. Even though it's a bit long. This is just filled to the brim with pining and fluff, but I'm not sorry. Thank you for the request!

Summary: An unlikely friendship gets revealed, and the Crows intend to make more of it.

Genre: Fluff and Comedy

Word Count: 6.6K (This is the longest fic I ever wrote and I have no clue why dsaljh)

Warnings: Mentions of alcohol, feelings and ripping peoples' eyes out :D

None of the Crows dared to speak on the walk back to the Slat. The job had been a complete disaster, and Kaz was fuming. Not even Inej, who had never feared Kaz’s outbursts before, attempted to talk him down. This was going to be a fun evening.

When they finally reached the Slat, he didn’t even spare them one word before he limped up the worn staircase that lead to his office. They didn’t go after him. It was best to allow him to sort things out on his own, rather than giving him another reason to lash out at them. Instead, they huddled together in the living room area to assess and treat their wounds, also bringing a few bottles of whiskey into the equation while they were at it.

Half an hour later, they heard heavy footsteps accompanied by the clicking of a cane coming down the stairs. All of them readied themselves for the berating of a lifetime once Kaz would reach their floor, but the footsteps didn’t come closer. The footsteps started to fade and become barely audible until the front door of the Slat was slammed shut. The rest of the Crows just gaped at each other with questioning glances, only Inej silently slipping towards the window, trying to spot him in the colourful crowd outside. But he was already too far away for anyone to see him.

“Phew, that was a close one,” Jesper exclaimed enthusiastically, taking another sip from his drink. “I doubt that I could have dealt with another one of his tirades on gun safety or no gambling on the job.” His voice mocked Kaz’s stern intonation, but no one seemed to latch onto the joke. He only earned a dismissive look from Wylan, who was still busy dusting the soot off his jacket.

“Where do you think he’s going?” Nina asked, her head turning to the Suli girl still residing at the window. As much as the Heartrender wanted to be mad at him, she knew that Kaz wasn’t necessarily skilled at taking care of himself or knowing when to stop, so she still felt a certain sense of dread.

“He’s probably off to get his head smashed in because he can’t take a loss,” Matthias grumbled, leaning back into the cushion of the couch, a prominent frown on his face. Nina only gave him a jab to the rips in an effort to reprimand him.

“I have absolutely no clue.” Inej began with a huffed breath. “But I’m sure that he knows exactly where he’s going.”

“What does that mean?” Wylan raised his brows.

“He’s been secretly going out a lot recently. Specifically at night or when he thinks that no one is watching. I began noticing it three weeks ago and I didn’t think it was that odd. However, by now I’m starting to get a bit worried. He always leaves when something went wrong and I just can’t seem to figure out where he’s going.”

“And you’ve been keeping that from us the whole time?” Jesper questioned, a devilish grin settling on his lips. “That is perfect blackmailing material, Inej! Kaz Brekker, sneaking out in the middle of the night to do what? Does he have a second identity that he’s been hiding from us? Is he off to go on secret jobs? Or maybe he’s visiting his secret partner?”

“Kaz Brekker having a secret partner?” Nina snorted, very much enjoying the way this conversation developed. “You don’t really think that’s likely, do you?”

“That’s the thing that you hold to be the least likely?” Wylan muttered amusedly.

“Have you ever tried to track him?” The Sharpshooter directed his question at Inej again. He was determined to know everything and would not stop until he did. “I mean, we evidently all care about his well-being,” his tone was audibly sarcastic, even though everyone knew that he actually did care, “so it would be best to keep tabs on him.”

“I did once. Somehow he knew that I was there and he told me off. From then on I didn’t feel like it would have been appropriate. He obviously doesn’t want us to know, and I think we should respect that.”

“Well, I think we should follow him the next time. Just to check up on him, of course” By now Jesper was fully convinced of getting behind his friend’s secret nights out. He exchanged a devious glance with Nina, whereas the other three Crows just rolled their eyes. They would definitely tag along, though.

On the other side of Ketterdam, you were busy finishing your last exam of the semester. It had been quite the straining term, so you were glad to finally be done with it. Once you left the exam hall, the light of the day had already subsided, announcing a bleak evening.

Normally, you wouldn’t have gone straight home after taking an exam, but none of your friends had to take the same exam, so they wouldn’t have been down for your usual visit to the local pubs. And going out alone was absolutely not an option that you would consider. Well, you would have considered it if you had the chance to visit a particular club. However, walking around the Barrel at night as a young university student with basically no self-defence skills didn’t seem like the best idea if you plan on finishing your degree. Realistically, you also had only one good reason to drop by the gambling den anyway. A reason that you were way too invested in and that probably didn’t even like you back.

You bit the inside of your cheek as your mind was invaded by thoughts about Kaz Brekker. The friendship between the two of you was fairly unlikely to anyone else. The Bastard of a Barrel being friends with a plain university student. But after you had caught him red-handed while he tried to steal classified institute information, yet still decided to let him go, he became instantly interested in getting to know more about you. At first, you assumed that he only wanted to get close to you since you had easy access to quite a few institutes and libraries. Well, it turns out that that wasn’t exactly the case. Your small flat became something close to a retreat to him. Whenever things at the Slat started to weigh down on him, he would come to you. It was an odd picture, watching Dirtyhands, one of the most feared men in Ketterdam, sprawled out on your couch, ranting about his day, but by now it was almost like a habit.

For some reason, the young crime boss had managed to fully capture your interest. In other words, you were completely and utterly besotted with him. And it was humiliating to say the least. He would never be able to love you back. Not the way you did at least.

You had been so lost in thought that you hadn’t even acknowledged where you were going until you stood at the main entrance of your flat building. You were definitely in need of a nap. After climbing the mountain of stairs leading up to your door, that is. But when you were just about to pull the bundle of keys out of your pocket, you heard a chair scraping over the floorboards inside your room. Maybe you had to scratch that well-deserved nap.

With cautious steps, you crept towards the door, pulling out the delicate dagger you kept attached to your belt - of course, a gift from Kaz. Even though the University District wasn’t too far away from the Barrel, there never had been a break-in close to your flat unit before, so the prospect of a stranger currently rummaging through your belongings scared you greatly. Slowly you pressed down the handle, allowing you to see inside the cramped flat. As your eyes roamed the small space, they were met with another pair of eyes staring back at them. You were close to letting out a shriek until you realised who the stranger was.

The dark-clad figure stretched out in one of your armchairs, discarding the book he had been browsing through. He acted as if it was completely reasonable for him to be in your home without you knowing about it. You closed the door behind you, considering whether you should scold him or whether you should be glad that he was here.

“Put the knife down, love.” Saints, how you hated him addressing you with these damned cutesy pet names. “You’d be more likely to accidentally pluck someone’s eye out than to actually defend yourself judging by the way you’re holding it.” Bastard.

“I’d say plucking someone’s eye out would be a great way to defend myself.” You dropped your bag at the entrance, walked over to the living room and sat on the armrest of your couch to calm your aggressively thudding heart.

“Not if you do it by accident. That would probably count as aggravated assault if you’d ask the Staadwatch.”

“As if you care about that the Staadwatch has to say.” He chuckled in response to that. He didn’t laugh - you weren’t even sure if he could - but a chuckle from Kaz Brekker was enough to make your head spin. Pathetic. “On another note, please tell me that you didn’t break in through the window again. I’m running out of excuses for all the scratches on the window sill.”

“I promise that I didn’t break in through the window.”

“Thank you.”

“I picked the lock on your front door this time.” You groaned, whilst simultaneously biting back a grin. “And I would also advise you to get new ones. They are way too flimsy. Very easy to outsmart. Especially for people with ill intentions.”

“Aw, that almost sounds like you care about me, Brekker.” He didn’t have one of his usual cocky comebacks at hand, so he merely gave you a warning glare, knowing that you weren’t afraid of him. As crazy as it sounded, you fully trusted him to never harm you.

For the first time this evening, you allowed yourself to take a proper look at the man across from you. It wasn't unusual for him to look like an utter mess when he pays you a visit, today he seemed just a bit more burnt out than what you were used to. There were prominent bags under his eyes, a stark contrast to the marble-like paleness of his skin. His hair was slightly dishevelled and it didn't help that he continuously ran his hand through it. All in all, he looked like he should've retired to bed a long time ago. Instead, he was here.

“Didn’t you have a job today? Shouldn’t you still be off completing some teenage criminal business?” You inquired, not necessarily caring too much about the bloody details of his work, but wanting him to continue talking. He scowled and that already told you the reason for today’s visit. “Ah, it went well I assume.”

“Don’t get me started.” You got him started. In fact, his rant almost took one hour, only allowing you to give some sparse comments in between. You would have to lie if you said that you were actively listening to what he was saying. As soon as he started telling you about how his ‘Plan F’ failed, you had already forgotten the initial intent of the mission.

“If I had stayed at the Slat any longer I would probably have ripped somebody’s eyes out,” Kaz gnarled and judging by his expression he was being completely serious.

“Good to know that coming here calms your murderous tendencies, Kaz. Even though, I believe that a good night’s sleep would have done the same thing.”

“Are you implying that you would like me to leave?”

“I’m implying that you look like you haven’t had a proper rest in forever.” You pushed yourself off your makeshift seat, walking over to the cabinet where you kept your alcohol and grabbing one of the rather fancy wine bottles. “Actually, I’m quite glad to have your company. Drinking alone is always such a bummer.” A bit clumsily, you filled up two wine glasses and handed him the slightly fuller one, which he sceptically accepted.

“Are we drinking to celebrate or to forget?” He smirked, raising the glass to his lips and taking a brief sip from it. The eye contact between you never faltered as he spoke. It almost made you forget what you actually wanted to drink on.

“Depending on the exam results, we might have to be a bit ambivalent with our reasoning.” You mirrored his previous movements, the velvety alcohol numbing your throat. You didn’t expect him to remember the fact that you had an exam today, he had so much on his mind without your insignificant ramblings, but his muddled expression told you that he did know.

“You took your final exam for this semester and the first thing you do is go home with the intention of drinking alone?”

“And you just returned from a botched job that cost you a thousand kruge, and presumably a whole bunch of nerves, yet the first thing you do is walk from the Barrel to the University District to stay at a lousy flat?” You gave him a self-satisfied smile, which he only returned with an eye roll.

“Seems like we both tend to go for the unreasonable.” He replied, a foreign sense of sobriety clouding his usually stern and cold eyes. Something clicked inside him after that conversation, but he didn’t have the will to tell you. Not right now.

Kaz only left when he caught the way your head began to slump to the side every other minute and how the time between your yawns got shorter and shorter. When he strode through the streets, he was somewhat startled by the fact that the sun had already begun to rise. He had spent the whole night with you, something he had never dared to do before, the apprehension of becoming too close - too attached - to you constantly lingering in the back of his mind. Tonight felt just right, though. Maybe he could allow himself one more weakness.

Breakfast at the Slat was surprisingly calm. As of now. One Crow was currently still missing, much to the delight of his friends’ mental well-being. Nevertheless, it still made some of them feel uneasy. What did they have to expect once Dirtyhands would join them? Was his absence just there to give them a false sense of security?

“He can’t possibly still be asleep.” Wylan groaned, genuinely just wanting to put the whole situation past him. He hated confrontation, especially when that confrontation was coming from Kaz, but he also hated the uncomfortable tension that was emitting from every single one of his friends.

“I doubt that he slept at all.” Inej returned, her voice still heavy with slumber. “I didn’t hear him coming back yesterday, so it must have been pretty late into the night. He wouldn’t go to bed at that point.”

The firm shutting of the front door made their heads turn. Realistically, it could have been anyone, it’s not like the Slat was inhabited by the Crows alone, but they all had a sneaking suspicion about who it could be.

That suspicion was confirmed once they heard the clinking of a cane coming up the stairs. And this time, the noise approached them determinedly. Kaz entered the room quietly, acknowledging the presence of the others with a mumbled greeting. There was no malice when he spoke, none of his usual venom could be found. Perhaps it was the veil of tiredness that was visible on his features, but he didn’t seem to have the intention of berating them. He looked…at ease?

“Good morning, boss,” Jesper was the first to speak up, causing Inej to give him an alarmed glance. She did not want this to get blown out of proportion, especially not because of one of the Sharpshooter’s humorous comments. “Are my eyes deceiving me or is there a certain lack of a frown on your face?” Alright, here they go again.

Kaz, who had made a beeline to pour himself a cup of morning coffee, didn’t show the underlying discomfort questions like these evoked. It was obvious that all of them were suspecting that something had changed - Saints, it was a miracle that none of them had brought his occasional disappearances up earlier - but he couldn’t allow himself to feed their theories.

“That rang true until you opened your mouth, Jesper.” He groggily replied, deciding that it would be best to avoid them for the remainder of the day.

“He’s totally hiding something,” Nina whispered as they listened to his footsteps disappear upstairs.

“Oh, he so is. But I suppose we’ll find out soon enough.”

To their dismay, Kaz’s secret trips stopped for the following days. But roughly a week after the uncomfortable breakfast encounter, Inej barged into the living room area, a devious grin on her lips - unusual for the normally holier-than-thou Wraith.

“He left! He’s on his way towards the Financial District.” Without wasting any more words, the Crows scrambled to their feet. It looked almost comical, five young adults that were barely done with their teenage years hurrying out of the Slat to stalk one of their friends.

Inej obviously led the party, tracking Kaz from a fair distance without eliciting his attention. Against her initial suggestion, he didn’t choose to stay in the Financial District, rather sternly crossing right through it. His target destination seemed to be the campus of Ketterdam University. But what kind of business would he have here?

They watched as he approached an outdated flat building, entering it without a second thought. Great, now they only had to figure out what room he would be in. They, meaning Inej.

“Am I dreaming or did Kaz Brekker just knock and act like a normal member of society, instead of breaking into my home as usual?” You quipped, beckoning him to come in with a warm smile. It was embarrassing to say, but even one week of him not coming by felt like an eternity of being deprived of his presence.

“I apologize, the next time I’ll just resort to throwing a brick through your window to not make you question your grip on reality.” It was a stupid joke, a terrible one even, yet you couldn’t help letting out a laugh. A laugh that made Kaz’s mind go blank whenever he heard it.

Today’s visit had no specific reason. He was starting to accept that he didn’t need a specific reason to come here, other than just simply wanting to see you. He wouldn’t say that out loud, and neither would you question it. It was enough to just be here. To hear you laugh at his dry humour. To listen to you talk about your day. Hell, even merely to enjoy the comfortable silence, as long as you were here.

Your usual routine was barely about to begin when one of the tiles on the rooftop next to your window crashed against the cobblestone a few stories lower. The sound of the tile coming down didn’t concern you. The rustling coming from right outside your walls did. You looked over to Kaz, who did not look particularly concerned. A knowing grimace graced the sharp lines of his face.

Without any warning, he pushed himself off the armchair, striding towards the window and forcing it open. You couldn’t see what he was searching for, but you spotted the exact moment when he found it. Judging by the way his jaw clenched you could only pray that he hadn’t gotten both of you into trouble.

“I know that you’re here, Inej.” Inej? The Wraith? What was she doing here? “I know that all of you are here.” His hoarse voice called into the darkness of the night. All of them? This made you a bit anxious. You joined him at the window, though you weren’t able to see anything since respecting his boundaries with touch also meant giving him enough space to move freely.

You almost jumped when a hooded figure appeared at the small platform in front of your window. The person pulled down their head-covering, revealing the apologetic face of a young Suli girl. This had to be Inej, Kaz’s unofficial second in command. He had told you quite a few things about her, but being face to face with her - well, sort of - was completely different. After she had pried her eyes away from Kaz’s menacing stare, she turned to look at you, and you could swear that the faintest hint of a smile flashed over her face.

“Kaz, listen, we’re terribly sorry for invading your personal affairs like that. We were just a bit-”

“You were what? Concerned about my safety? Or just way too curious for your own good?” His voice sounded dangerously low, a tone he had never used in your presence. “Leave. I’ll talk to you - all of you - once I’m back at the Slat.”

“Kaz, let them come in. It’s not a big deal.” Even though you weren’t sure who else the ‘they’ would entail, you didn’t feel like creating an argument over no harm done.

“They followed me here to satisfy their need for gossip and you don't think that's a big deal?"

"It's not like that." The Suli girl interrupted. "We were genuinely worried about you sneaking off in the middle of the night and just wanted to make sure that you were okay." He didn't completely believe that, but as his gaze turned to meet yours again, he let out a sigh.

"Fine." He lamented, audible enough for everyone to hear before trudging back to the couch in hopes to ignore whatever was about to happen.

Almost soundlessly, the Wraith slipped into your flat, looking around carefully as she took in her surroundings. She offered you her hand, in an attempt to at least give you the decency to introduce herself.

"Please forgive us for disturbing you like this, especially in the privacy of your own home. I'm aware that this isn't the ideal first impression. I'm Inej, one of Kaz's…friends." She was careful with her words, knowing that Kaz was listening in on everything she said. But you didn't care about his grudges. You had always wanted to meet his Crows, the few friends he was keen on telling you about, so their sudden appearance was actually quite delightful.

"Don't bother worrying about this. It's fine, trust me. There’s room for all of us, and some more company doesn’t hurt." You tried to reassure her, but a knock at the door announced the arrival of the others. Upon opening the door, you were met with the four remaining Crows, who gingerly shuffled into your small living space, greeting you with muttered apologies you didn’t pay any mind to. They were quite an interesting crowd, you had to note. The blonde mountain of a man entered first, accompanied by a radiant young woman, dressed in a red dress that fit her perfectly. Your mind immediately wandered to the many times Kaz had been talking about Matthias Helvar’s broody nature and Nina Zenik’s hatred towards his haircut - that had to be them. You identified the last two people as Wylan Van Eck and Jesper Fahey. The shy redhead, who had been the most apologetic out of the group was quickly pulled away by the charming Zemeni man, who only gave you a curt nod as he pushed past you to the seating area.

Even though Kaz was already on edge about your hospitality, you still went out of your way to hurry to the kitchen and bring out a few more glasses and a decanter of water. You wouldn’t allow yourself to be seen as a negligent host, especially when it came to the friends Kaz had told you so much about him

The whole group sat scattered around your minuscule living room area, occupying every seat but the empty space next to their boss on the couch. He noticed your hesitance and slid a bit further towards the armrest, wordlessly telling you that it was okay, maybe even a bit welcome to sit next to him. Without thinking too much about it, you accepted his offer, attaining some stunned glances from his team.

"I'm so pleased to finally meet all of you." You beamed after finally settling in and introducing yourself briefly, earning a pleading look from the man sitting next to you. A look you bluntly chose to ignore. "Kaz has been droning on about his Crows since I've known him."

The man who you had rightfully assumed to be Jesper shot a teasing glance at Kaz. Any intention of a comment leaving his lips was quickly extinguished by one of Kaz's muttered threats, which you couldn’t completely make out, but that seemed to be enough of a warning to shut him up.

“I wish we could say the same,” The Heartrender spoke up, her voice soft and pleasant as she gave you a calming smile. “But Kaz failed to mention that he had other…friends.” Her tone was reluctant and you could basically feel the man in question tense up next to you. The realization dawned on you that they were probably all thinking that you were romantically involved. A thought you had nothing against, in all honesty, but you didn’t intend on admitting that in the near future.

“Not that we would have believed him had he told us earlier.” Matthias’s thick Fjerdan accent added dryly.

“But of course, we’re very happy to hear - and see - that he isn’t the secluded hermit he makes himself out to be.” The Sharpshooter snickered, satisfied with the way this situation had turned out. “Even though we are kind of hurt that you didn’t think about introducing this gorgeous lady to us. Were you just going to keep her hidden away from us until you suffer a probable untimely death? You should have brought her to the Crow Club to meet us sooner. I’m sure she wouldn’t have minded.”

“You must be really lovely company if Kaz decided to keep you all to himself.” Nina directed her attention back to you. You felt your heartbeat pick up its pace. She was definitely insinuating exactly what you thought she was. It only got worse when you recalled that she was very likely listening in on the accelerated thudding inside your chest.

“Maybe I just didn’t think that she would enjoy your company, Zenik.” He retorted smugly, causing the Grisha to frown. I wouldn’t want her to be affected by your questionable influence.” His last sentence reeked of sarcasm and you knew it, yet the girl on the other side of the room put on her best offended expression.

“That’s rich coming from a man that doesn’t shy away from ripping people’s eyes out if they wronged him. Talk about enjoyable company.” You were no stranger to the Barrel’s brutality, even though Kaz didn’t necessarily talk that much about the bloody details of his job, so this information didn’t significantly faze you.

“If she gets along with Kaz this well, she’ll get along with us just fine,” Wylan added, enticing a chuckle from his boyfriend, who had one arm slung around his shoulder. You didn’t miss the faint hue of pink on Kaz’s cheeks after the Merchling put additional emphasis on the ‘this well’ part of his statement. Was he seriously flustered?

However, his theory seemed to ring true. The rest of the evening was spent chatting about your respective lives and a lot of jokes - most of them made at Kaz’s expense. The teasing about him sneaking out to meet you seemed to be ceaseless, and it affected him more than you would have expected. Maybe that was the reason why he was so reluctant to introduce them to you.

When the night gradually came to an end, you picked up the mugs of tea and coffee that had begun to accumulate on the living room table, moving to bring them to the kitchen. Inej, who had been rather reserved for the majority of the evening, was set on helping you. It seemed like she had something to get off her chest in private, so you blindly agreed. Your heart stung a bit when you thought about the possible discussion topics she had planned to hit you with. It was no secret that she and Kaz were quite close, but he never told you about the true nature of their relationship. For all you knew they could have been in a steady relationship for years now. However, you didn’t nurture that thought for your own good.

The two of you sauntered to the kitchen, putting all the glasses and mugs into the sink to be dealt with at some point later. She carefully closed the door behind her before she let her back rest against it. She really did want to talk to you. Mentally, you were already prepared for the worst.

“Y/N, I bit my tongue the whole evening and would really hate to pry, especially after the unlucky circumstances under which we had to meet for the first time, but there is a question that I just can’t get out of my head.” Shit, this was going to hurt. “Are Kaz and you, uhm, seeing each other?” Your cheeks instantly turned bright red. Nothing ever happened between the two of you, other than yearning glances on your part and comments that could be interpreted as flirty on his, but it had gotten painfully obvious that you weren’t entirely satisfied with that.

“Kaz and me?” You sputtered, trying to act like this was the most incredulous suggestion to ever exist. “Oh, we’re just friends - well, if you can call it that - I promise there is nothing to worry about!” Inej cocked her head to the side, mustering you with a bemused expression as you were still wrestling for the right words. You had expected her to be relieved or to not believe you and end up lashing out at you. What you hadn’t expected her to do was smile.

“What should I be worried about?”

“I mean, uhm, you and Kaz-”

“Oh no, absolutely not.” She laughed, throwing her head back as she realized what you were so unsure about. “There is nothing between me and Kaz. He’s my friend, but nothing more.” These words felt as if something heavy got lifted off your shoulders. At least you were not about to be stabbed by the Wraith for having a crush on someone she could’ve been with. Now, you would just have to deal with the feelings not being mutual.

“The same goes for me and Kaz. We’re just friends.” You tried to lie to yourself.

“I think he might be on a different page.”

“What?” Her way of speaking made you realize why she and Kaz were friends in the first place. Both of them would rather die than speak in coherent sentences.

“None of us believed that Kaz was seeing someone when we became aware of him sneaking out. To us, it would have been more likely for him to have a second identity. So when we followed him tonight, we didn’t expect…this.” She gestured around the room, her hands pointing up and down your body. “He seeks you out when he’s stressed - not because he needs to get away from us, he has his office for that and knows how to keep us at an arm’s length - but because he wants to be here. The six of us have been friends for so long, and I don’t think that he ever looked at any of us the way he looked at you. It may not be obvious to you, and I wouldn’t blame you, that man is more than emotionally constipated, but whatever feelings you harbour towards him, I’m sure that they are reciprocated.” Your head felt light. Could she be right? Could Kaz Brekker ever feel even slightly the same as you did?

“I’d like to believe that, Inej, I really would. But I promise that the feelings between us are merely platonic, and it’s better that way.”

“What a shame. It would do Kaz some good to have something consistent - something good - in his life.” With that, she pushed herself off the wood behind her, giving you an encouraging wink before she returned to the others.

Unbeknownst to you, Kaz had suffered a similar fate whilst you were talking to Inej.

The five remaining friends had waited for the door to close behind you and the Wraith, their heads snapping towards Kaz when they heard it click.

“So, Kaz-”

“No matter what you were planning to say, keep it to yourself, Zenik.” He wasn’t having this at all.

“Are you two dating?” Wylan asked eagerly, prompting Kaz to groan in displeasure.

“Y/N and I are not dating. And after all the trouble you five caused me today it’s bold to even imply that.”

“Come on Kaz, we may lack your skills in deduction, but we are not blind. We all see the way you look at her.” Jesper taunted his friend playfully, wriggling his brow suggestively.

“I look at her the same way I look at all of you.”

“I sure as hell hope you don’t. I don’t want you to give me heart eyes.”

“I’m not giving her ‘heart eyes’, Jesper.” There was audible disdain in his voice as he repeated Jesper’s words to him.

“If telling yourself that helps you sleep at night.” Even Matthias joined in on the teasing. He truly was done for.

“What did I do to deserve this?” Kaz rubbed his eyes with his hand, hoping that once he had removed it from his face, his friends would stop pestering him about this.

“That list would be too long for us to go through now. Especially if you intend on keeping your love interest.” Jesper was really playing with fire at this point.

“I’ll say it one last time. She is not my love interest. We are not in a relationship. The relationship we have is just as platonic as the relationships I have with you.”

“Because slipping out in the middle of the night just to see her is very platonic?” Nina grinned sheepishly. “Just admit that you like her and ask her out, for Saint’s sake. What are you so afraid of? Rejection? Being honest with yourself? Is that the way to defeat the mighty Dirtyhands? Should we send a message to Pekka Rollins?”

“That’s enough.” Kaz’s voice turned cold. Spying on his private business was one thing, but acting as if he owed them a heartfelt confession was too much. “This is none of your concern, it never was in the first place.”

Before he could add anything more, the kitchen door creaked open with you and Inej emerging from the room behind it. There was a shared understanding to not bring that topic up for the remainder of the night. They still hoped that one of you would make a move, but they couldn’t force you to, so they just had to drop it.

After an hour or so more of talking, they chose to leave you alone again. The Crows said their goodbyes, already inviting you to get drinks at the Club during the next week. All of them wandered towards the door, except for one.

“I’ll join you later. Go back home.” Kaz ordered, provoking Nina, Jesper and Inej to exchange giddy glances. But they still left without asking any questions. Once they were finally gone, he turned to face you, visibly wound up over everything that happened today. “I apologize for their behaviour. That was completely unacceptable, and them simply showing up with-” You silenced him with a simple hand gesture and a smile.

“Kaz, it didn’t bother me. I actually appreciated having them around, even if you didn’t- They are precisely the people that I would expect you to be friends with.”

“Fine. But I hope they won’t make this a habit.”

“Are you afraid of having to share my attention, Brekker?”

“No. I just don’t see the point in seeking relief from a headache just for the headache to follow you everywhere you go.” He replied sarcastically, relishing in the dizzy feeling your laugh gave him. Maybe he should listen to his friends for once.

“Oh, hold on a second!” You paused, hurrying over to dig in the drawers of the cabinet standing in your hallway. After a bit of rummaging, you pulled out something small and shiny. He couldn’t make out the exact shape since you kept it concealed in your fist, but he suspected that it might be for him. “Open your hand.”

“Why?”

“Kaz. Just do it.” He stretched out his arm, letting his gloved hand hover a few inches away from yours. In a matter of seconds, something long and partially heavy was dropped into his palm. It was a silver key.

“What is this for?” He questioned, pulling the gift closer to him to inspect it further. This caused him to miss the flash of embarrassment that rushed over your features.

“It’s a key to my flat.” You confessed meekly, his eyes snapping to meet yours. “I had a copy made after last week. Just so you don’t have to break into my flat anymore.” His face remained calm, but his mind was running wild. You gave him a key to your flat. A key that would allow him to see you whenever he wanted without having to risk getting caught whilst trying to pick your lock. “But you don’t have to accept it if you don’t want to. I just thought it would make things easier. Even if your little headaches might stop you from visiting me that often since they know where I live now.”

“No, I, uhm, thank you. It will at least make me look less like a creep.” He chuckled. If there ever was a right moment, this would be it. “But we should probably consider a different place to meet each other once in a while. Just to keep the others off my case.”

“Oh? What are you suggesting?”

“I heard there’s a new waffle place opening up this weekend, so maybe you would like to see if it’s any good? With me, I mean.” Kaz prepared for the bone-crushing reaction that would follow his offer. You wouldn’t say yes.

“I’d love to.” Saints, he did not expect that.

“It’s a date then?” The words were supposed to be sarcastic, but his brain was just beginning to work through the implications of you agreeing to go out with him.

“It’s a date.”

When he eventually managed to force himself out of the comfort of your flat, he still held the little silver key in his hand, constantly turning it over in his palm. It would take him some time to work through what had just happened. You gave him a key and accepted his clumsy shot at asking you out. The Crows would never let him live that down.

And as if his thoughts had summoned them, they were already expectantly waiting for him at the entrance of the flat building. Jesper was the first to notice the key.

“Please don’t tell me that this is what I think it is.” The corners of his lips were pushed up as high as humanly possible.

“She gave you a key to her flat?” Nina squealed, resisting the urge to engulf him in a hug.

“Voluntarily?” Wylan added in disbelief.

“And I asked her out. Are you all happy now?”

“You did what now?”

[shepherds-of-haven]

in a high school/anime slice of life au, what would the ros do for valentines day? and i don't mean what would they do for a date, i mean who's making homemade chocolates for their crush and confessing on the day of, who's ignoring the whole thing, who's returning the favor on white day??

Ooh, interesting question!

(For those not familiar, in Japan (and therefore in slice-of-life anime), Valentine's Day is typically when girls give chocolate/sweets either as giri chocolate (obligation/courtesy gifts) or honmei (gifts intended to be received as a romantic gesture), and on White Day one month later, boys are supposed to repay or return the gifts they received on Valentine's Day back to the girls, sometimes with the thought that their 'return gift' should be 2-3x the value of the original.)

As for how the characters would react if they were in this kind of slice-of-life high school anime AU...

Blade: he would be so indifferent to these holidays lol I'm not even completely sure he would be aware they existed? He'd certainly reject any gifts he received from people he didn't know, and he'd "return" the gesture on White Day with the absolute bare minimum (like a little store-bought bag of chocolates) because his mom forced him to or something

Trouble: "oh damn, I love chocolate! Thanks!" :D

*completely oblivious that this gesture could be anything but friendly, inadvertently and ruthlessly crushing the hopes of several admirers*

He'd attempt to bake his own chocolates at home for White Day, but they'd end up looking so nasty and mutilated-looking, like

They'd actually taste decent, though!!

Tallys: she would bake elegant little cookies or brownies purely as courtesy or giri gifts for all of her friends, of all genders, but she might secretly slip in something special (like a heart-shaped cookie) into the bag of the person she secretly had a crush on! No one would ever know, though!

Shery: she would make the CUTEST cookies and chocolates in little pastel-wrapped baggies for all of her girlfriends 🥹 She'll give some to the boys too, but it's more like a "oh I just had so many left over, please enjoy 🥰" because it's the female friendships in high school she'd treasure the most, and she wouldn't want any boys to get the wrong idea!! These gifts would be so perfect that they'd be the envy of all who saw them!

Riel: he wouldn't pay any attention to the holiday whatsoever (until he got a box of chocolates from some hopeful first-year and brutally rejected them out-of-hand so as not to waste anyone's time...) He gives off an intimidating aura, but would actually really appreciate receiving little candies and sweets and things as giri choco from people like Tallys or Shery because he LOVES sugar, so he would use these as fuel for his late-night cram sessions! 👓 For White Day, he'd buy them expensive, thoughtfully-chosen white-gold jewelry, because Riel Syndran ALWAYS surpasses expectations!!! If you give him a gift he'll return it six-fold, not just two or three times in value!!!

Chase: realistically, he'd probably be swamped with gifts on Valentine's Day and bombarded with all kinds of confessions, and he'd probably indiscriminately accept each and every one of them with a big grin and an easygoing demeanor that would just make more and more people feel like it's safe to confess to him because he seems so receptive to it! Realistically, though, he could be ambling down the hall loaded up with flowers and chocolate and see someone like crying in a nook because they got rejected (like by Blade or Riel lol), and he'd stop to have a chat with them and would probably hand them a bouquet of flowers, like "Here, I don't need it! Cheer up!" --Inadvertently winning himself yet another heart. I think he would sincerely appreciate and enjoy the gestures, but the materials themselves wouldn't, like, mean anything to him specifically, if that makes any sense. Ironically he'd probably treasure even giri chocolate from close friends way more than romantic honmei from near-strangers, and his reaction to the gifts from friends would be markedly different and more excitable (usually for trolling purposes, but also sincere enthusiasm). Like getting chocolate from a random admirer would be like "Oh, thanks so much, I appreciate it! :)" whereas getting some chocolate from Briony or Trouble or Blade would be really dramatic and embarrassing, like "REALLY??? YOU MADE THIS FOR ME??? 🥹🥹 I DIDN'T KNOW YOU LOVED ME SO MUCH 🥹🥹 Ahhhh I knew you had a soft spot for me~~~ I'm so happy right now~~~ 🥰❤️"

For White Day, I feel like he'd just pretend he "forgot" about the holiday to dodge having to show favoritism to any one admirer/suitor, lol, so none of his romantic pursuers would get anything--but somehow he'd get away with it due to his 'lovable scamp' reputation! He'd probably treat his friends to dinner or something to repay them for their giri chocolate, though!

Red: Like Chase, he would politely accept each and every Valentine's Day gift offered to him, regardless of its implicit meaning, which inevitably would lead to all sorts of messy romantic entanglements and misunderstandings that Pan and Neon would give him hell over. "Why the hell did you accept chocolate from that girl if she said she likes you??" "Well, she made it herself, it seemed rude to just reject it..." "BUT NOW SHE THINKS YOU'RE DATING, AND SO DOES THE OTHER ONE WHO GAVE YOU CHOCOLATE" "yeah I'll probably have to clarify at some point..." "SOME POINT"

He's very conscientious about returning the gesture on White Day, though he tries to be as "neutral" about it as possible (i.e. getting everyone the same generic gift en masse) so as to avoid the situations he got himself into last month! (coward)

Ayla: YAWN, Valentine's Day is just a capitalist holiday designed to sell candy and sugar!! She's not the biggest fan of sweets, so she's whatever about this holiday and White Day. You're definitely not going to catch her dead preparing or giving anyone stupid chocolates... What a waste of time!! So cringey!!

But she is curiously a bit more clingy towards her gal pals on this day and is like "can't we just go to dinner/have a sleepover, just us, and forget about all this? 😒"--leading to some to suspect that it all might make her feel a bit insecure, worrying that her precious friends are going to get into relationships or fall in love or receive admirer's chocolate and and leave her behind!!

Briony: THIS IS HER FAVORITE THING EVER, she's so excited about this holiday!!! She might be the only one in the entire group who would consider using Valentine's Day as a way of expressing her feelings or confessing her crush to the object of her affections by making them a special gift... it would look a good deal shabbier and more homemade than Shery or Tallys or Lavinet's offerings--she couldn't temper the chocolate to make it shiny, so it looks a bit dull and claggy--but the heart is definitely there!! Whether or not she actually has a crush on anyone, though, she's going to go all-out and make as many gifts for her friends and classmates to show her appreciation and love towards them as well! She'd be the classroom's little Valentine's Day fairy, floating around and trying to spread Valentine's cheer!

"Riel, aren't you going to wear a heart pin on your lapel, the class rep passed them out so we could celebrate--"

"No"

"But--"

"Purposefully make a hole in my blazer? Are you insane? The colors don't even match"

"But it's Valentine's Day! 🥺"

Lavinet: huhuhu, this holiday is her time to bask in the attention, because she inevitably gets a lot of gifts and chocolates from admirers every year! 😎 However, she'll only buy expensive, elegant chocolates for her friends (she won't make them herself) and then she'll wait and see what the object of her affection does on that day. She doesn't want to chase too hard or obviously!!! If the crush does something nice for her (even though Valentine's Day is traditionally when she should offer a gift), then she might whip out a very sleek, wrapped gift and carelessly say something like, "I saw this and thought of you! (AKA Don't read too much into it!)" But, of course, him being the only person to receive such a gift from her would be a sign in and of itself...

If he doesn't do anything worthy of her gift that day, she keeps it for herself and eats it without ever telling anyone it existed in the first place LOL

Halek: he probably skips school that day because he overslept and just decided the day was a lost cause, so he successfully dodges both Valentine's Day and White Day. 😂 If he doesn't, he makes the most badass, haute-couture, gastro-molecular confections and treats, is eager to show them off to as many of his friends and classmates as possible, then overthinks it because someone (Naolin) is like "Are you sure you want to give that to so-and-so, the level of attention and detail you put into that might give them the wrong idea of your intentions..." So then he ends up only giving it to, like, Trouble, who as the safest option is like "DUDE THIS IS SICK" and then scarfs it down without appreciating the artistry of it 😭😭 Meanwhile Chase is still like "do... do you have a crush on Trouble??" Red: "yeah there were gelee pearls on top of that handmade profiterole, he definitely does"

[spop-romanticizes-abuse]

Okay one last ask, this time a bit more coherent. I was going to write about how disappointed I was with how hordak was handled, how much potential he had to show cult trauma (which was passed over to catra via the chipping episode) which could've paralleled Adora realising she's not a weapon but a person, to help the resistance thanks to his previously established extensive experience commanding Prime's fleet (but no, gotta have catra tap into the hive mind) and show that the clones were taught to be evil and didn't start out that way (but no, let's just introduce a nameless clone who's there mostly for comic relief) but I won't do that. Even though I'm salty that his defect was completely forgotten about and the villain we've had for 4 seasons spent most of season 5 offscreen.... I won't. It's an essay for another time.

Instead, I'll just point out the moments which, in hindsight, made me realise just how little SPOP cares about the original material or the story it was supposed to be telling:

One of the first eps of season 1 shows a multitude of silhouettes of different princesses. We only see a few of them (why tease them if they'll never show up on screen?)

Adora's friendship with Swift Wind is underutilised and he's mostly shoved to the sidelines

Sea Hawk

The war isn't being taken seriously (something which you've brilliantly discussed before)

Nate doesn't bother to explain what Gray Skull even IS until a brief moment in s5 where it turns out to be the name of Mara's rebellion cell or something. It was literally a second which I almost missed.

Adora's arc about finding her family and potential hinting at Adam and the extended MOTU universe is dropped.

The princesses don't act like processes and are barely even friends with each other.

The theme of "friendship conquers all" is quickly dropped as the princesses stop seeming sympathetic (cough, mermista and perfuma) and friendly with each other. At the end of s5 they had a great opportunity to parallel the s1 finale, but nah, gotta make it all about catra.

Micah, a former KING and magician of great power, spending s5 as either an awkward dad or chipped so that catra wouldn't face any consequences for killing Angella.

Sorry, who? Angella? Yknow, the one Catra killed in s3 and whose death haunted all of s4 and which was never discussed again in s5.

Entrapta getting more shit from the alliance than catra or scorpia put together despite being responsible for less bad stuff and the show still trying to gaslight us into thinking the princesses are her friends.

Worldbuilding? What worldbuilding?

^^ (i have nothing more to add)

[klug]

So Puyo Puyo Puzzle Pop is out and I see a lot of theories going around… This is half a self-indulgent post for me and half a poorly thrown together essay reviewing Sig and Aya's and the blue soul and the crimson soul's, relationship to each other. because boy is it a bit of a complex web. @_@

Some people were talking about their relationship today in EPPC, and I'm bad at talking to people, so I decided to put my thoughts in a post + touch on some misconceptions (I guess?) around since the game just came out and it relies on knowing information presented in extra material like the audio dramas and the (sega) novels.

And of course, spoilers for the first 4 main routes of Puzzle Pop.

some quick bullet points before I start… you can skip this if youre fairly familiar with fever 2, tetris 2, and the novels

is Aya possessing Sig?!

how did Sig's power get unleashed by Meena? are they super ultra powerful??

no, Aya is clearly still imprisoned safely contained in the tome of sealing, so it probably isn't behind this. We also know in Lidelle's route that it and Klug were having some kind of argument after he ran into Sig.

Well, in the game, Lemres establishes that Meena normally is not that powerful… Rather, it's been a bit implied over the course of the games that his powers have been growing stronger, so I think that it's more that Meena broke down a dam that was already barely holding itself together… a brief timeline…

Puyo Puyo Fever 2 - Sig transfers to Primp Magic School and his hand suddenly turns red. This can presumably be linked to his proximity to the tome of sealing. Akuma attempts to prevent further resonation by using the Ito Hairito enchantment. Attempts at "curing" his hand are touched on in Puyo Puyo! 15th Anniversary

Sig's Secret happens a bit before Puyo Puyo!! 20th Anniversary, and he has the incident of his powers being awakened by Witch's potion. This is the first time we actually see the "Demon part" of him take over, and it turned both of his eyes red when this happened. (src)

Puyo Puyo Tetris 2 - Sig and Klug are protected by a certain power from being influenced by Marle when she's causing mayhem in Primp Town. The crimson spirit was potentially protecting Klug in this situation, but what about Sig? I theorize that his own demon powers, which have been growing stronger, actually protected him as well. (Lemres' substory, PPT2)

Puyo Puyo Puzzle Pop - Sig befriends Meena and offers to share some of his power. This seems to open the floodgates and allow the demon parts of him to take over.

fun fact: The words for "arm" and "hand" are the same in Japanese, so a lot of fans were actually surprised when they saw that his entire arm is red and not just his hand when his art in 20th came out.

Now, with those bullet points out of the way… the meat of this post is focusing more on Sig and Aya/Strange Klug/Possessed Klug/Crimson Spirit/Whatever name you want to call its relationship.

I think most people take the text in the games at face value, though the editing choices in translation don't really help I guess...the first instance of "red power" being translated as "evil power" will never be forgiven, but it's okay since Lemres and Schezo get it right--. I see a lot of people think that Aya is somehow influencing Sig in this story, but it has been established that Sig has the potential to tap into the full power that Aya probably wants access back to in Sig's Secret when Witch's power potion spills on him.

Back then, Sig and Amitie's friendship, and really any of his friendships, weren't very well-defined. However, she was able to bring him back by reminding him of their friendship...

Hey, Sig! …Let’s go back to café prep, alright!? I mean, Raffina’s gonna be super mad if you don’t show up! And then Klug’s gonna go all sarcastic on you again! Do you want that!? And, and, we haven’t even figured out what to put on the menu for our Special yet! If you really want me to, I’ll let you put whipped cream, for real!” I just kept screaming one thing after another as it came to me. Please, please, please… Please, let Sig hear my voice! “Please, come back to us! I promise, we all love you, so, so much! And I know, I know that deep inside, you really, really want to stay with us, too…!”

(src)

He manages to regain control of himself though clearly Amitie reminding him of everything isn't working in Puzzle Pop.

I kind of resummarized the climax of Sig's Secret because it felt important to contextualize his behavior, how its different in Puzzle Pop, and how people tend to conclude that "he must be possessed by Aya" as the first thought in Puzzle Pop. I also did this, though it was because I watched the routes out of order (lol). The behavior of this not!Sig is reckless, power-hungry, very very very gloating (just read the novel), and doesn't see any importance in friendships when it comes to Amitie and Meena (Lemres' route in Puzzle Pop). Meanwhile Aya, who has a very clear outlined goal of getting Sig back is…generally levelheaded, calm, and although angry about its situation, doesn't always charge straight for Sig whenever it's unsealed ("Amitie and Lidelle's Primp Tour", Puyo Puyo!! Quest story mode, etc.) So I think the binary the game presents of Aya being "evil" and Sig being "not evil" is not necessarily true considering how unreliable the narration of the "tome of sealing" is. I find it more accurate to say that they're power/impulse and control/logic, or you could argue they're a conscious and an unconscious.

I theorize that a piece of their original power lies dormant in Sig, and it is this power that Aya specifically wants back because it's…pretty powerless in its current form. This power, possibly the "crimson power", drives the "blue soul" in Sig a bit power hungry when its unleashed, and it has no conscious to control it because the "crimson soul" isn't in the vessel. I also think Sig and the "blue soul" are separate entities to an extent.

“Stop talking… Be quiet, just shut up! Gh… With every word you say, the voice in my head, it…GAAAAHHHH…!” “A voice, in your head? T-That’s gotta be Sig! Hey!! Sig!! If you can hear me, say something!”

(src)

The best comparison I have to this situation is Cinderpelt's reincarnation into Cinderheart in the book series Warriors. Cinderheart inherited Cinderpelt's soul after the latter's death, but because Cinderheart's grown to have her own experiences and is a separate entity while Cinderpelt lay dormant in their mind, they will separate in death. I think this "copilot"-ish situation is the case with Sig and it's why they're vying for control a second time in Puyo Puyo Puzzle Pop.

I think that's why not!Sig is so "evil" and also gives people the impression that it might be Aya -- considering I also thought this -- though it's probably not the case since this story follows a similar formula to Sig's Secret with some tweaks to reflect a lot of subtle character growth, which is the subject of the next section.

Now, people might ask…why aren't Sig's eyes red and his hair dark like they were in Sig's Secret? Well, I think this is due to texture limitations for one, but I also think this is a sign of Sig's personal identity growing stronger over the course of the games. He has relationships he wants to hold onto, his own experiences, his own life, so he wouldn't just easily give up control of his physical vessel, even if he hasn't been speaking as himself in Puzzle Pop so far… This story's already done a lot with establishing Sig as a character and the importance of his relationship with Amitie, and he hasn't even actually spoken, which I find impressive. I also just like that all this stuff is only clear if you pay attention to the steady build up of the stories from the past few years… well, they were just breadcrumbs, I guess...Listen I've been following this plotline for 7-8 years and its been in the works for like 13? So you have to forgive me for feeling happy about having all the pieces of the puzzle.

As for what this means for the role Aya/the crimson spirit will play in the story… I'm not sure. I honestly don't expect it to appear at all since all the models/animations are recycled from Puyo Puyo Chronicle with some touch ups save for Meena. It has been referenced though, and the profiles in-game go in-depth on who it was and is, but I can't say if it'll actually make a fully story appearance…Especially since Klug was relegated to a side story role. Which is fine, I don't really care despite my URL. it was a good story. I do however expect this story to shed a lot of light on the relationship between the Sig, blue soul, and the crimson soul once its complete. I haven't even touched on my personal interpretation of Amitie and her hat, so maybe I'll make another post about that in the future? I think her situation is meant to parallel Sig's, but I'll save that for another time if people are interested...

As usual some of this is my interpretation, but everything I sourced is real and true and I'd never lie to you, etc.

Misc. Fun Stuff

These were things I liked about Aya and Sig's imagery/motifs but I wasn't able to fit into the post concisely.

not!Sig uses the same pronouns as Aya, 我 (wa) and お前 (omae), though they're written in hiragana as opposed to Aya's kanji. This is actually why I thought he was possessed because I walked into a stream in the middle of Ringo's route, haha.

My theory of Aya and Sig being a conscious and an unconscious are actually inspired by one of Aya's spells anima. Now in Latin this really just means "soul" which is fine, but in Jungian psychology the anima and animus are a dualistic archetype…which is cool, though this would potentially mean the crimson spirit is the unconscious part, haha! Technically they'd align more with Freud's concept of an id and a superego as I explained them, but I always like pointing out the possible Jungian reading of Aya's spell Yes, I realize I'm grasping for straws

[dfroggofarson]

i wrote a oneshot about a hot NPC dilf. its 1600+ words. i'm really proud of myself.

when i was doing this quest, i had to come to the realization that i, in fact, do have some daddy issues. and that i have no idea of their origins, but so be it.

the more daddies for my perverted imagination, the better my day is.

if you haven't done the Golden Slumber world quest so far, i highly recommend it! it's long and sometimes annoying, but man, anything for hot dilfs (and their also hot daughters).

ok, that's all, i'm done simping. requests for other stories are open, as always.

fluff, comfort embedded. no smut for y'all horny ppl. sorry, not this time ;)

enjoy! ^^

A difference between sky and sky.

A night in the desert wasn't a joke to anyone. It was rough, cold and merciless, killing anyone that missed to take care of themselves. Most mobile creatures had already found a shelter as soon as the Sun started to dive into the treshold of the horizont, hiding itself behind the gold of endless dunes. No matter if it were just animals, people, or monsters - survival made everyone behave similarly.

That night wasn't anything different than the previous ones. You and your two companions have been traveling for two days - for the fifth time. You commisioned them yet again to escort you while you collected some redcrest and other materials from the desert for special herbs. And why not just commisson them to bring some, without you having to travel such a long and tiring journey, or just buy what you need from the mercenants? You asked yourself at least a thousand times. For example, when you almost stepped on a giant scorpion-like thing, got hit by an especially massive tumbleweed, tripped on a scarab, and even when you got into a fight and almost lost all of your dignity?

Yes, you asked yourself a lot of times.

But you only trusted yourself when it came to collencting materials. After all, only you knew what exactly you needed.

And... Maybe you just enjoyed traveling with them on a regular basis.

Because every one or two months you came to Aaru village and commissioned them for the very same reason, and there wasn't even a single time they turned you down. It started nearly a year ago, when you had no idea of who to trust and how this region works, but out of sheer luck you bumped into - literally, right to his chest - the perfect people. And ever since you only commissioned them and no one else.

So there were the three of you: a still unexperienced, clumsy alhemist's apprentice, depending too much on their deputees; an always smiling, funny and kind, but at the same time life-threatening girl; and her father, a whole natural force, like a billion-years-old mountain looking like he could even challenge Morax himself with his bare two hands.

Well, a colorful team, might as well to say, you tought to yourself as you were laying in your tent. It was a strange friendship between the three of you. You were almost best friends with Jeht, you could talk and laugh about almost everything. And even tough you never talked much with Jebrael, he had proven that he really did care about you, so you considered him as a dear friend as well.

Despite these dangerous journeys, they were the most awaited people in your whole month.

Minutes passed, then half an hour, and then a whole, and you still could not sleep. Getting bored of trying, you sat up and started to think again. But after another thirty minutes you got bored again, so you decided to do a little stargazing. It might help you fall asleep.

You put on some clothes, and opened the tent. You almost tripped in your own legs as soon as you saw the tall, threatening figure's back infront of you-

Oh, wait. It's just Jebrael. Yeah. He's in your team.

Cool.

After your heartbeat kind of went back to normal, you just stood there, studying the man's silhouette. If the muscles and scars armoring his massive body could tell you their stories, you'd probably listen to them for years long. When he fights, he does not have any spare movements, and the way he swings his weapon with such pure brutallity and unique elegance... This controversiality always left you tremble and speechless at the same time.

You snapped out of your toughts as you approached the man, not having any better idea as soon as you saw him. You were sure he's heard you, but just in case, you stepped on a drained brach to alert him of your presence. He did not turn his head towards you, and didn't say a word when you sat down next to him. You both remained silent for long minutes.

"Aren't you tired?" You asked, breaking the silence. "It's been a long day. You should take a rest, too."

"It's my turn on watch," he replied. "And Jeht is also tired. I'm fine. You should be the one taking a rest."

"But I can't sleep. I just keep thinking about everything."

"Hm," he 'said', still not moving an inch. Sometimes you wondered how a man of such a figure could act so unnoticeable and noiseless.

"For examle, the sky," you pointed at the stars. "All the orbs can be seen from there so much better than from Lyue harbor or Mondstadt. It's probably because of the light pollution, or I don't know."

"I tought you were a scientist?"

"Well... sort of, but this is not my field. I'm more into alchemistry. Or, at least, I'm trying," you laughed nervously, scratching the back of your head in embarassment. "But I'm not that good, no matter how hard I try."

"That's not true," he opposed, slightly turning his head toward you. "The ointment you gave us was really effective."

"Ah, yes. That is the only one I'm proud of," you chuckled. "And the anti-sweat bandages! I see you still use them," you smiled at him, looking at his arm.

"See, these things are useful. Just keep it up."

There was silence again. You stared at the endless black of the sky, toughts racing trough your head like a tumbleweed in the wind.

Somehotw, sitting in silence with him wasn't uncomfortable, like it was with other people. You could collect your toughts and think silently, while feeling perfectly safe.

You wanted to experience it more. Not just every one or two months.

"How much more materials do you need for the following months?" He asked suddenly.

"Well... Hmm... I need a few more redcrest, five scarabs and three more ajilenakh nuts... but I think that's all for now. But I'll think it trough the morning."

"Good. Jeht and I have to head back to the village soon, so we can collect them tomorrow and then start to take our way home," he said casually.

Like it didn't mean that your journey, your only chance to finally have some time for yourself, but be safe and with friends at the same time wasn't about to end in a few hours.

"Oh," you replied. "Okay, no problem."

"And you know, you can commission others to these trips, too. I have some reliable acquintances, so I can recommend you some of them. You don't have to aks us every single time."

Ouch.

You gulped. Did that mean that he wasn't enjoying your company? Definitely, you declared. But he seemed to be okay with it... Is there something wrong with you? Or with anything? Did you do something wrong?

Oh, silly question. Even when establishing the camp, you couldn't help properly, because the tent you tried to make always collapsed as soon as it had the chance, and it was always Jebrael who helped you fix it. You could only make some food, but that wasn't so delicious either, rather flavoured with herbs to make your companions feel better. But that didn't mean they enjoyed it as much as you did...

Were you overreacting again? Yes. But was it logical? Absolutely, for this time.

They were... he was important to you. It did matter what he said. Maybe a little bit too much.

"Right. That's true. I should probably ask someone else, too, you two must be busy as well," you laughed again, but this time much more nervously. "I'm sorry I bother you with this every month. Seriously." You nodded, holding back your tears, trying to find some excuse to leave the scenery as fast as possible. "Oh, can you feel it? It's getting so cold! I'd probably go back and, you know, try to get some rest... Good night, then!"

You quickly jumped up from the log you were sitting in, waving a quick "goodbye", then turned your back on him and walked to your tent.

How could you be so blind... Why would you think that he enjoyed spending time with you? No one enjoyed your company, that's why you didn't have any friends. You were nothing more than an ignorant little pharmacist who had no idea about the dangers and pressures of the world Jebrael lived in. He's porbably had some more important business to take care of, and you had no right to tell him to stay one more day just because-

"The... The stars. What's the difference between Lyue and here?"

You froze, slowly turning your head back to him. His head was facing the sky, hands resting on his knees relaxed.

He looked so peaceful all of a sudden.

You gulped again.

"We- well," you started, playing with your hand in embarassment, "there are so much more lamps in Lyue. It's a harbor, after all, and it's always bathing in light, so you cannot see the night sky so well..."

"Hmm. I haven't seen it in a long time," he whispered.

You turned your head to look at him. You had no idea why he was wearing, or why he had to wear that blindfold. You never asked about it. Once you tried to talk to Jeht, but she just brushed it off with an "I dunno, he never talks about it," and that was all.

Jebrael never talked about himself, not even to his daughter.

But something changed this evening.

He seemed to be more... open. To have a conversation. Even if it was just about the sky.

And he started to open himself for you.

You snapped back to reality, forgetting that you should probably carry on the talk. You made your way back to the log, sitting down next to him where you were just moments ago. It was still warm.

"Do you... want me to tell about it?" You asked silently.

For a moment, he didn't reply. Then he slighly nod.

You smiled.

Well... at least that's something to begin with.

} > -- • -- < {

The next morning, when Jebrael woke up, he found himself under a blanket - and with you leaning onto him, head on his right shoulder. He focused on the sounds surrounding him, but he couldn't hear Jeht's breathing, only yours. But when he moved his left hand, he found a short message.

'Wouldn't want to wake you two up, went to grab some branches. Not gonna be back soon. ;P'

Jebrael let out a small sigh, cautious not to wake you up, and just listened to your peaceful breathing for a few minutes.

And then he cracked a small smile.

That business in the village could wait a few days.

} > -- • -- < {

[skxllz]

“ ouch! ”

you glared down at michael with a slightly annoyed gaze, feeling agitated that he kept moving around from just the simplest poke of the sterilized steal, “ will you quit moving? I didn't even push it through yet. ”

michael emerson, a rather new individual to santa carla was a teenage boy you had met on the boardwalk - well, ran into i should say. you were fairly new to skateboarding and had gotten clumsy, crashing into him and causing you both to tumble to the ground. words were exchanged —an apology on your end and him getting slightly snippy—, which led to a slight argument, before somehow an acquainted friendship of sorts formed. you only considered it to be a friendship because, two times after that, you ran into michael again. it was destined fate - at least, thats what you said to him.

he, surprisingly, happened to agree.

just yesterday he had approached you, asking if you could pierce his ear. you had informed him briefly before, it slipped out during a conversation, that you were handy when it came to piercings and such - he wanted to touch up his look, and seem cooler, so he came to you for help. you agreed, but informed him it'd have to wait since you had errands to run for your father that night.

that's why, just an hour ago, as you walked passed the craftsman store amongst the boardwalk, you snatched up michael by the arm along the way —he had been checking out one of the booths on the boardwalk— to grant his wish of a new ear piercing.

and that's where you were now; sat atop a milkcrate in the midst of a cave of sorts that he brought you to, a clean sewing needle in hand —alcohol wipes you got from a medical kit at the video store michael's mother worked at and ice from a fountain drink, beside you— and your patience, that was wearing quite thin. it's been around twenty three minutes since you started on trying to pierce your friends ear, but he kept yelling like a bitch. from what you gathered, he didn't like needles - you've barely touched the tip to his lobe and yet, here he was, wincing immensely.

“ it's not my fault it's sharp! ” michael defended, his face screwing into a scowl. he was trying his best to look as if he wasn't bothered, just annoyed by your words, but you saw right through it.

while you shift your booted feet, the small chains on your combat boots jingling, you steer your hand that held the needle to the side; silently grabbing onto his ear once more with the other. “ stop being a baby and just hold still, ” you mumbled, eyeing him judgingly. “ it'll be over in no time. ”

“ you say that and yet you're taking forever. ” the brunette scoffed, not even bothering to look at you. he was trying to distract himself from the metal that had yet to probe his skin. If he did look your way however, he'd see the look of bitterness covering your face.

“ I'm trying, ” you spat nastily with narrowed eyes, giving his lobe a sharp pinch. he hissed in reply. “ but you're making it difficult, emerson. ”

michael gritted his teeth, but didn't comment on the fact that you just pinched him. “ alright - I'll.. stop. just hurry up. ”

you rolled your eyes, but gave a curt nod before focusing in on his ear again. after grabbing another small cube of chipped ice from your plastic cup and gently rubbing it onto the spot you marked with a burnt out matchstick, you removed it, before lining up the needle once more. his earlobe was pretty cold now, so you took the advantage of pressing the tip of the needle into his skin.

michael inhaled a noise of pain, which made you move your foot - sliding the side of your boot along his own, only to press your ankle to his out of attempted comfort. It seems he took the hint, because he grabbed onto your jean-clad knee and dug his nails into the material.

quickly, you pressed harder, making sure your index and middle finger angled out on the back of his ear to direct the needle better. michael squeezed his eyes shut, feeling as the sharp tip pushed through the first layer of skin. he nearly jumped once you applied even more pressure and it broke through the second layer, leaving the male to bite the corner of his bottom lip.

usually you'd tell a person to get over it because it's not that big of a deal, but you've come to... care for michael - a twinge of sorrow striking your heart strings just from seeing him in the slightest bit of pain. it was pathetic, and quite frankly made you question what the fuck was wrong with you. you've never felt sorry for someone over something so dumb before, so why now?

“ alright, ” you whispered, once the needle punctured through the back of his lobe. you slid the steel through until the midst of the needle was in place; each side evening out through his earlobe. “ it's through. you bled a little, but that's normal. ”

“ that fucking hurt.. ” michael grumbled, his hand only twitching on the place it settled at on your knee - refusing to move, though.

you chuckled, unwrapping the golden hoop you had bought, from it's package. “ well, it is a needle going through your body. It's meant to hurt. ”

“ yeah, but- ” michael licked his lips, “ I didn't think it'd hurt that bad, y/n. ” he winced once more once you began sliding the needle further through his ear, to hook in the jewelry. “ I've always hate needles - it's just kind of annoying that I never got over my fear of them... ”

“ everyone has fears. ” sliding the end through his ear, you released it before picking up an alcohol pad. you forgot cotton balls, so this was the only alternative to clean it. despite the cave you were in, that looked as if it's lived in, you highly doubted anything sanitary was lying around. “ some are small, like needles, others are big - but regardless, everyone has them. ”

michael hissed once the alcohol pad touched the pierced section, but you ignored him. “ so.. ” he spoke through the burn, “ it's nothing to be ashamed of? ”

“ nothin’ to be ashamed of. ” a small smile graced your lips while you pulled your hand back. “ done. ” pointing over to a cracked mirror you spotted across the way, you dipped your head in that very direction. “ go check it out. I think it looks kickass. ”

the male cracked a grin of his own. michael had moved his hand off of your knee, placing it onto his own, pushing himself up off of the beat up couch he sat on. he booted over to the mirror and jeered his head to the side, checking out his newly wedded earring.

“ it does look kickass. ” michael agreed, face lighting up in awe. he'd never thought he would look so good with just a mere earring.

and, as you watch him, you come to realize you never thought that either. just a few weeks ago you saw this guy as a douchebag brunette who was chasing after a girl he had no real chance with, just to score something to have, while he was here. you never really considered him cute, or relatively interesting - if anything, annoying, even though you two were friends. sitting there now, however, it's become more prominent just how pretty his smile was. and how blue his eyes were. and how his grin looked cocky, but you knew it was just a genuine smile. and that his jawline fit him so well; the curve of his jaw fitting his face just right.

your eyes scale lower, taking in his exposed throat. It was so... strong. so kissable-

you shook your head, eyes wide. what were you thinking?

“ -n! y/n! ” your head shot up to meet michael's gaze. he looked concerned. “ are you okay? ” his brow was quirked up questionably. “ I called you a few different times and you didn't answer me. ”

were you okay? for fucks sake, you were just checking him out.

“ I'm okay. ” you gave a lop sided grin, showing you were alright. “ just thinking. ”

michael studied you for a moment, before nodding his head slowly. he didn't seem like he believed you, but you knew he was too much of a golden retriever to push it. “ well... thank you - for piercing my ear. ”

shrugging, you pushed up from the milkcrate while toying with the ring on your thumb out of habit. “ ‘s no problem. just helpin’ out a friend. ” you paused. “ even if he's irritating. ”

michael could tell you were joking around by the twitch of your lips, which made him chuckle; his own grin taking over. “ yeah, yeah.. ” his eyes flickered away bashfully. “ I'm sorry about complaining. I guess that's really out of character for me. ”

“ don't sweat it. ” a light punch was given to his arm. “ like I said, everyone has their fears... and pain tolerance levels. yours just happens to be low. ”

michael went to reply, but loud, obnoxious laughter echoed off of the walls of the cave before he could say anything; alerting the both of you of the presence of more people. almost instantly a flat, unimpressed look fell onto michael's face - it made you internally question who it could be.

your question was answered as soon as four figures came into view.

you blinked in surprise to see the faces of the infamous trouble makers from the boardwalk. santa carlas’ number one pricks that were known for being insolent, disruptive and overall crude. why would michael know them? I mean, you knew he could be a twat but you didn't peg him as the type to hang around that lot.

“ guys... ” michael inquired, raising his brows in faux enthusiasm. “ didn't expect you to be back so soon. ”

david smirked, stepping off of the ledge that peaked the entrance they waddled out from, “ michael. ” the blonde mockingly spoke, fingers raising to graze at the cigarette tucked behind his ear. “ it's nice to see you, too. ”

his eyes flickered onto you momentarily - and it spooked you. the intensity behind his gaze was fleeting. “ I see you brought a guest, ” david's orbs moved back onto michael, smirk faltering just in the slightest. he clearly didn't like new blood in his home if he wasn't aware of them. “ care to introduce us? ”

“ no. ” his tone was sharp and sounded guarded, almost. you took notice of it, but said nothing; your own gaze kept on the blonde. “ we were just leaving. ”

“ awe, c’mon, mikey! ” another blonde stepped up from behind david —when had he gotten there?— to wrap an arm around michael's shoulders. his hair was longer, however. from the glassy look to his hooded eyes, you could only assume he was high. “ don't be such a downer, man. we just wanna’ get t’know your new friend. ”

“ yeah, ” a dirty blonde, shorter than the others, strode forward with a wicked grin painting his lips. his hair was rather coily and his aura was more.. dark. but you tried not to let it phase you. “ don't be rude, michael. Introduce us. ”

“ y/n, ” michael spoke your name, unintentionally giving the boys the answer they were looking for - he just wanted to grab your attention so you two could leave, but alas his stupidity got the best of him. “ let's go. ”

“ y/n, huh? ” the stoned male unhooked his arm from around michael to saunter towards you with lazy steps. “ pretty name for a pretty girl. ” he smirked, stopping in front of you. “ I noticed mikey here has an earring now. ”

you both glanced at michael, only to see the coily-haired blonde toying with the new jewelry.

“ that your doing? ” a darker haired male spoke up this time; his tan skin standing out amongst the burning amber from the flames, that emitted from the burn barrels throughput the cave. his hard gaze was frightening, but you refused to let it chip down your own arrogance.

“ it is. ” your voice was low as you spoke, eyeing the taller man with calculating eyes. something was off about all of them. “ is that a problem? ”

“ not in the slightest. ” he smirked.

you didn't answer at first, eyes attempting to push past the dark depths of his own cold, brown orbs. It didn't seem possible, though. much like you did, he had iron bars made of pent up, raw anger guarding his real tendencies. it wasn't easy reading him - what a bust.

“ good. ” was the what you finally replied with, before turning your eyes to michael once again. he seemed to be staring dwayne down with a locked jaw - though, once you spoke up his stare shifted onto you. “ mike. let's go. ”

michael nodded stiffly, moving to take ahold of your arm and pull you close to him. none of the other guys seem intimidated, which you weren't surprised about, it just seemed pretty ballsy for poodle-hair to snicker under his breath mockingly at the action. you almost wanted to slap him.

actually, you did want to, but chose not to.

“ michael. ” the both of you stopped walking abruptly once the platinum blonde called michael once again. by the way his nostrils flared, you could tell your friend was fed up with this.

once he turned towards the blonde, the two had a stare down. It was like they were conversating with their eyes - a light blue pair, as pretty as the sky overlooking the ocean, so taunting and full of malice; the other, dark as the evening sky, holding anger and resentment. you could only guess what the trade was about, which in this case, wasn't something good telling by the way michael's temple popped with a vein. his jaw was rotating as well, lips tightly pressing together. It's almost as if they were reading one another's minds...

“ bye now, michael. ” the blonde waved, a smug, closed lipped smiled dotting his mouth. his gaze flickered onto you. “ and y/n, make sure to stop by another time. ”

you squinted in annoyance, “ will do. ”

that was the last thing said, before michael tightly gripped your arm and pulled you out of the cave.

[causesciencethatswhy]

The way Jikooks friendship even gets so minimised, all because JM is as close to JK as they want themselves or their self insert to be (because they don't understand/care for real Tae either) is so hurtful. Even beyond shipping, it's vile. It's also very telling how this is happening to Jimin in particular. Reeks of homophobia and a whole lot of internalised misogyny if you ask me. Same with Hoseok a lot of the time, too, especially in the Yoonmin dynamic.

The state of Army especially on twitter is...a lot to take in.

Exactly what I keep thinking. I've always considered that the vitriolic hate tkkrs/kpop fans in general have for jm is a result of internalized misogyny and I remember blinks or someone had mocked army's when they'd first brought it up because apparently men cannot be victim's of misogyny (some people need to really take a gender studies class in college is all I'm saying to that ).

Because jm presents in a more softer way that lends to feminity he also becomes the easy soft target to becoming the "other women" to their ships. It kind of made me really notice how a lot of the type of fetishisy shipper groups that you see in bl/fujoshi spaces are very similar to how tkkrs behave. The same intense hatred for the 'women'/women aligned characters and the immediate dislike for more feminine queer men is all something I've seen in fetishing bl spaces a lot.

The way jimin presents is much more obviously queer than any other member (purely based on mannerisms, cause if you hear joon or yoongi talking about love for a few minutes you can put two and two together). And his overt queerness makes a lot of cis hetero shippers (or kpop fans ) uncomfortable because they're forced to confront their internalized homophobia and misogyny head on. So they find a way to diminish his importance to the other members or villanise to cartoonish levels to deal with that discomfort.

I think the jikook suffer the worst brunt of this because jk for a majority of the fandom is the 'ideal boyfriend material' member , and that's perfectly fine as long as you're still able to see him as a full person outside of your fantasies of him. Jk obviously adores and admires jm (even if we're just looking at them as platonic besties). There should be no apparent reason to feel so threatened by jimins presence and importance in his life, except you see something There too. Except jimins queerness makes you uncomfortable and you project that onto jk.

As for the hobi thing with ynmin I honestly had no idea that he gets similar treatment in their theories (tho I'm not too surprised if that's the case).

I can barely scroll through army twt these days tbh. It's just bad takes, solo stan recruitment or ppl being dismissive of actual issues that army's should be focusing on like the kicking out 🛴 Braun from hybe, but instead being forced to debate blinks for the 100th time.

[my-current-obsession]

My Next Life as a Villainess VN - Thoughts

Considering the source material, I was surprised at how good this game was! It's unsurprisingly light-hearted and comedic, but most of the CGs are still great and the romances mostly worked. I appreciated how despite Catarina's black-hole level of denseness causing issues in basically every route, everyone tackled it differently and every relationship felt unique.

My biggest complaint is just that we were robbed of routes with the girls outside a "normal/friendship" ending, since the girls canonically ALSO love Catarina. Getting three extra routes for Mary, Sophia, and Maria would have been SO GOOD. But Alas.

While this game and story is definitely meant for fans of the light novels and/or anime, I think there's plenty of information for people new to the series to still enjoy it. I also appreciate how much content is added to the common route as you complete the routes of love interests. Expect SPOILERS below the cut, as I go into detail on my thoughts for each route.

My play order was:

Alan -> Keith -> Geordo -> Rozy -> Nicol -> Silva

Common Route: I won't linger too long on this, since the common route in this case was pretty short. It did its job, setting up the plot and introducing us to all the important characters, both new and old. But in terms of notable interactions with the love interests or MAJOR plot points, there isn't much of notice yet. All the choices that give affection for the guys pre-route split lead to very brief tangents/conversations, nothing substantial.

We do meet and immediately befriend Rozy in the common route, which is nice. Silva by comparison barely features here, but he's ALL OVER basically every route, so his absence here is honestly fine.

I do like that we learn about the sachets and their connection to Ryle Werder, since that plays an important role in several routes. The Witch's Eye, by comparison, perhaps receives TOO MUCH attention in the common route. It's only relevant in NICOL'S route and yet we learn about it when meeting ROZY, which seems odd.

Alan: Not counting the girls, when I watched the anime, Alan was my favorite love interest. Hence, I decided to start with him. And I wasn't disappointed! I like that it's pretty clear under "normal" circumstances that despite his love for Catarina, Alan would never rock the boat and confess to her. He acknowledges and respects that she's engaged to Geordo, and he's engaged to Mary.

Thus, for this love to bloom, the pair kind of NEEDS to be separated from the group and spend some quality time together, which is just what we get. Interacting one-on-one, these two have a very casual and easy relationship that appeals to me. They get along well and Alan is mostly charmed by Catarina's eccentricities. His one real problem with her is that she is reckless to the point of endangering her own life, and that's a fair criticism I think.

Since Alan wasn't planning on confessing, his struggle to "get through" to Catarina is mostly about making her understand that being reckless hurts and upsets the people that care about her, which he finally inadvertently succeeds at by... getting hurt himself while protecting her, causing HER to be upset.

It's a very sweet and subtly romantic moment, which I liked a lot. I like how this route, particularly the "memory scenario" bits, seemed to imply that deep down, subconsciously, Catarina ALWAYS has liked and favored Alan. He's the one she likes to just... hang out and spend time with, and thus when they spend a certain amount of time alone and have some (mostly accidental) romantic moments, she's quick to Catch Feelings, even if she takes a bit to acknowledge them.

The cherry on top to this route was his confession and how it was handled. When Alan accidentally confesses his feelings while saving Catarina from Frederic, due to her hangups about the whole "I'm a villainess in an otome game and all the guys should love Maria" thing she initially wants to doubt or misinterpret it - but Silva (who had earlier called out and WEAPONIZED Alan's feelings for his own gain) is quick to correct her, forcing her to acknowledge it. But the pair don't get to talk it out right away, leaving them to be noticeably awkward around each other until they do.

Only then, when it's unavoidable and necessary, does Alan fully confess. Because he knows Catarina NEEDS to hear this in order to fix their current relationship. But he immediately follows it up by telling her to forget it all - because he's genuinely content with just being friends with her and doesn't want to ruin things between her and Geordo.

I appreciate how much Alan is selfless and trying to do the right thing - and I appreciate it even more, comparing it to other routes to come. And Catarina refuses to forget because simply finding out how he feels is enough to make her recognize her own feelings, but she similarly resolves to talk things out with Geordo and Mary before confessing. The respect paid to their "official" partners and trying to properly end things before starting anything together is mature and wonderful, to the point where in Alan's happy end Geordo (reluctantly, but still entirely of his own volition, without outside pressure) gives them his blessing. It's sweet and satisfying.

Also, sidenote - I genuinely liked Liliana a lot as a side character and was disappointed she wasn't in any other route. On the other hand, that means she got to witness and support JUST Alan's romance and none of the others, so...

Keith: I won't lie, this is my least favorite route from a plot AND relationship standpoint. While basically ALL the other love interests find Catarina charming and endearing, it bothers me how Keith is always criticizing her. He loves her, but he's constantly trying to get her to act like a "proper noblewoman" instead of embracing her as she is. And from the perspective of a SIBLING, that's fine. But I HATE it when you're actively trying to mold your love interest's behavior and personality.

Across all the routes Catarina must have dreaded Keith lecturing her (explicitly acting like her mother, at that) more times than I could count. That's just NOT romantic. At all. And isn't a dynamic that can/should be TURNED romantic, IMO.

Another big turnoff for me is that Keith is one of two love interests who has... let's say a sense of entitlement to Catarina. He's actively hidden his feelings for years, AND YET he hates the idea of her with anyone else and actively tries to keep her away from her more aggressive suitors like Geordo. Unlike Alan and Nicol, who acknowledge their feelings but WILL NOT act on them in usual circumstances, Keith monopolizes Catarina's attention when he can and actively WANTS to be with her romantically... all while excusing the time and attention he gets by saying it's his right as her BROTHER.

The underhanded nature of how he gets her attention and his ulterior motives bothers me. At least Geordo is UPFRONT with his possessiveness and intentions, even if Catarina is too dense to notice.

On Catarina's end... I just struggle to buy her suddenly falling in love with him. This route makes it clear Keith is "special" in that she's quick to notice if he's not feeling well physically or emotionally; Catarina likes to TAKE CARE OF and DOTE ON Keith. That's pretty in-line with her seeing him as her brother, and honestly that same care and attention comes across in other routes where she clearly loves him PLATONICALLY, so it's hard for me to accept that not only does she quickly fall in love with him here but she confesses FIRST before Keith makes his own feelings clear.

As for the rest of this route's plot, I barely remember it. I wasn't invested in the conflict here - and that's not the case in most routes. Alan's route interested me with the relationship drama of Ryle & Liliana, Silva and Rozy had big political issues, and Nicol's was supernatural. Only Geordo's route was similarly dull in terms of non-romance content. The main thing I took away from the conflict here is I was unhappy how Keith's conflict of feeling weak and unable to protect Catarina was handled.

Rather than learning he didn't HAVE to protect her, that he was important/valuable to her without that, or something along those lines (leading to a more mutual and open dynamic, theoretically), it's resolved by... him finally being able to protect her. He had a BAD personal arc on top of a BAD romance on top of a BORING overall route/conflict.

Geordo: Like Keith, Geordo is pretty possessive and "entitled" to Catarina. Unlike Keith, I can at least somewhat understand why. He's literally engaged to her and has been for years. Beyond just his own hopes/feelings, there is an expectation that he WILL marry her eventually. I also appreciate that while he's initially not that forward, he's still open and obvious about his romantic affections. It's just that Catarina is PARTICULARLY dense with him.

She struggles to believe anyone could fall for her when Maria is Right There, but Geordo in particular she struggled to win over "in game", and despite years to get used to the idea she still doesn't seem to realize how much people and relationships have changed due to her actions. Thus she can't envision him EVER loving her romantically and finds a way to misinterpret his every action.

Whereas Keith just kind of... snapped and wasn't able to hold back his feelings in his route after spending too much time alone with Catarina, Geordo by comparison is very DELIBERATE in making more aggressive moves. And again, I think it's narratively justified albeit kinda messed up. While he is used to the usual rivals and felt relatively secure that they wouldn't/couldn't steal Catarina out from under him... suddenly Silva enters the equation and NOW he feels threatened.

As a pirate, Silva wouldn't care about Geordo's title or his claim to Catarina. If he chooses to steal her away or if Catarina just comes to like him, there's NOTHING Geordo can really do. Thus, he couldn't afford to be patient anymore and he got desperate.

He thought he had time to win her over, but now he had to progress things FAST or risk losing her. His actions make sense, and by making his feelings clear earlier on in the route, Catarina has more time to think about it and figure out her own feelings.

I think it's notable that none of the other love interests, despite their own feelings for Catarina and their frustration for how Geordo handles things (since he says some nasty things and unintentionally hurts her while revealing his feelings), actually try to PREVENT Geordo from "winning" Catarina. The girls even come around to SUPPORTING him despite loving Catarina as well.

Geordo's "entitlement" to her is reasonable. He's not guaranteed her love, but he is the most justified in expecting it and acting possessive by virtue of their engagement. While Mary may plot to run away with her, while Keith might secretly want her for himself, while Sophia tries to push Nicol to pursue her... EVERYONE acknowledges on some level that unless Catarina actively falls for someone else (which looks increasingly unlikely as time goes by), Geordo IS her endgame by default. And they respect that. They are all prepared for this marriage to eventually happen; Geordo by comparison on other routes is typically NOT prepared for Catarina to suddenly fall for someone and want to break things off.

His crime is of being complacent and then poorly handling it when he realizes just that. I personally can forgive that a lot easier than Keith's... everything, and a lot of what happens in Rozy's route, too.

On Catarina's end, the extra time she got to think about Geordo's feelings and re-contextualize a lot of their earlier interactions while also being more aware of the romantic implications of later ones served her well. While I personally imagine Alan and Nicol as the two guys she's lowkey into "by default" judging from their routes, it was easy enough to see Geordo's efforts to win her over actually paying off near the end, and her accidentally acknowledging her realization of "maybe I love Geordo" out loud, TO HIS FACE, was great. The non-romance plot of this route was fairly dull, but I found the romance very engaging so it evens out!

Rozy: I was impatient and just had to give one of the new love interests a go before doing Nicol. I have very mixed feelings about this route. On the one hand, as a new character, I found Rozy very attractive in terms of his appearance and personality. And many of his interactions with Catarina were sweet and endearing. On the other hand I have two MAJOR issues that hampered my enjoyment of specifically his relationship with Catarina, A LOT.

Problem one is that, plain and simple, Rozy was TOO devoted and obsessed with her based off ONE, BRIEF interaction 8 years ago. I understand that she inspired him and changed his life without meaning to, but he just... takes it too far. I can rationalize him looking into her immediately afterwards to learn her name. I can get behind him thinking back to that moment and hoping to meet her again one day, to thank her.

But he went as far as HIRING people to check up on her and tell him all about her, years later. That's just STALKING. Through a proxy, yes, but stalking nonetheless. Which is not okay. Ever. It doesn't help that outside of this one "flaw" - being TOO devoted, to the point of clear obsession, which is noted in story to be a flaw his entire family has - he's basically perfect in a way NONE of the other love interests are. I'm genuinely not sure if I would have preferred a literally flawless Gary Stu love interest or... this, which was gross.

Problem two was Albert's interference and the DISRESPECT to Geordo this route had. In general I'm wary of other characters in a story "shipping" anyone together - passively rooting for something like Liliana did is typically fine, but very active matchmaking is grating - but WOW was Albert a busybody about getting Rozy and Catarina together. When he was talking politics I was engaged and enjoying him, but whenever he turned his attention to playing matchmaker, I just felt frustrated.

He's MEANT to be eccentric, but this is really how a king is spending his valuable time? In particular the way he outmaneuvered Geordo so that Catarina and Rozy could fake-date For Reasons, and even PULLED RANK on him, threatening to end his and Catarina's engagement BEFORE Rozy had even confessed, was infuriating.

What gets me is that his interference was ENTIRELY unnecessary. There were plenty of moments between Rozy and Catarina to justify their mutual feelings without him poking his nose in it, and despite being clearly unhappy about it Geordo HAS proven to be reasonable about letting Catarina go when she actually falls for someone else. It's not like Albert's actions prompted Rozy to confess; he was going to do so ANYWAY. All Albert did was piss off and disrespect Geordo. In theory his actions SHOULD cause political issues between Quid and Sorcier, which he wants to prevent, and yet...

This was the one route where I liked the plot outside the romance significantly more than the romance itself. The political drama and intrigue was engaging, and I loved seeing Rozy and Silva interact. They have a genuinely sweet dynamic. It was also cute seeing Rozy's dad gush over him - a more normal, healthy (yet embarrassing) way to express the family's overly-affectionate trait.

The conflict with the premier Cet Norden was... a bit sloppily handled though. It bothers me that like 90% of his backstory and motivation was in an optional "memory scenario". Was an optional exposition dump really the best they could do? No way to incorporate any of that into the story naturally? By comparison the conflicts are much better integrated in Alan, Nicol, and Silva's routes.

I have a third minor issue with this route (and to a lesser extent, Nicol and Silva's) - it's frustrating that even AFTER finding out Rozy is associated with the pirates, he continues to hide shit and only comes clean when he can't avoid it any longer. Silva's route fully explains WHY - they're trying to secretly handle this so they don't have to work with and be indebted to Sorcier. But the politics of that choice are, in itself, kind of disgusting. Thinking rationally, Rozy chose to endanger who knows how many Sorcier nobles by keeping things secret, and even if their lives are kept safe by the "pirates", they're still under extreme emotional stress due to the situation. They even go so far as to plan for ships from Quid to "rescue" the Sorcier nobles, making them feel indebted rather than the other way around! The entire plot/conflict of this game could have been avoided if saving lives mattered more than politics.

Nicol: This route took an interesting turn into the supernatural. There is an entirely unique conflict (on top of the existing ones, which... still exist and take up nearly half the route), and I quite enjoyed it. I do think it needed more time to shine, though. The witch is only properly introduced more than halfway through the route, and that conflict is resolved surprisingly fast and easily.

As for romance, this route actually worked way better than I expected going into it. I'm not typically into aloof love interests that don't emote much, but I think it helped that we got to spend a lot of time from Nicol's perspective so I could see what he was thinking and feeling, even if it wasn't clear from his expressions and voice.

I mentioned that I think Catarina is lowkey into Alan and Nicol "by default" earlier. Alan I explained in his section - she subconsciously seeks him out and pays him special attention, to the frustration of her other love interests.

Nicol by comparison she is more OVERTLY into, but it's initially shallow. Nicol has a "mysterious allure" that exists both in-game and out, and since canonically she hasn't played his route, AND she's the most distant from him out of all her love interests (he's more "my friend's brother" than "MY friend", initially), she's intrigued by and drawn to him in a way she isn't to her other friends. She is Not Immune to his good looks, and he's able to fluster her in a way no one else can, without even meaning to.

Thus, when they actually spend time together and get to know each other, it's actually very EASY for Nicol to win her affections. Lucky for everyone else that he's a good friend and is DETERMINED to keep his feelings to himself. Much like Alan, he has no intention of confessing and attempting to steal (ostensibly) Geordo's Girl, and I respect him for that.

I was honestly really into the tension between Geordo and Nicol this route, where out of respect and friendship Nicol was trying so hard to keep his distance from Catarina but he kept accidentally letting his feelings affect his actions in ways that stepped on Geordo's toes anyway. That said I think there was a missed opportunity regarding how that conflict ended. I think there was a lot of potential for either drama or wholesome friendship if he and Geordo had actually gotten to TALK about it, but they never did.

Nicol spent the entire route not wanting to confess and get between Catarina and Geordo, but then due to the witch's interference he ultimately confessed to Catarina anyway WITHOUT talking it out with Geordo first. Either Nicol needed to find the courage to confront Geordo and at least give him a heads-up that he was going to do this, or even better, Geordo could be a good friend and tell him to shoot his shot (but obviously Geordo himself wouldn't fully give up until it's clear Catarina has fully chosen someone else); either way making it a "may the best man win" situation would have been ideal. Instead Geordo tells Nicol they need to talk AFTER Nicol has confessed and stolen his girl after spending the whole route determined not to do literally just that, and we don't even see the confrontation.

This route is leagues better than Rozy's in "dealing with" Geordo, but not as good as Alan or Silva's. While I wanted Nicol to talk things out with him first, I at least am more accepting of the witch's interference than Albert's. Albert was playing matchmaker and screwing over Geordo in the process, while the witch was personally trying to upset Geordo due to his similarity to her lover that she wanted revenge on, and Nicol and Catarina getting together was more a byproduct of that.

She forced Nicol to spend time with and confess his love to her (in Catarina's body), which made him reconsider his feelings and his passivity, and when he ultimately confessed it was because he couldn't bear for his only confession have been to the witch. It was explicitly for the sake of closure rather than expecting reciprocation, which was a happy surprise.

Ultimately I think this route was very solid all around though it could have been improved in some ways. It also brings another point AGAINST Rozy, because I can't help but feel he WAS trying to pull a last minute Mr. Steal Your Girl despite claiming his confession was just for closure. If you only wanted closure... why did you not also confess in Silva's route, where you spent MORE time with Catarina and thus should have loved her there too? It comes across in hindsight like he cares too much about Silva to come between them but he's willing to try his luck with Catarina's other love interests.

Silva: It's rare for me to love the true/favored love interest in otome, but this is definitely an exception. His route was so good! I already liked Silva a fair amount from what I'd seen in other routes - not only is his design very appealing, but his Honorable Rogue shtick was right up my alley. So I went in with fairly high hopes and honestly still got way better than I expected.

I appreciated that while he and Catarina definitely get along right from the start, he WASN'T immediately into her. It was refreshing after literally all of her other love interests being in love with her from the start of the story (including new character Rozy, who either fell in love as a child or immediately fell for her upon reuniting). Silva's "romantic" scenes in the early parts of his route definitely felt like he was flirting more just because he's USED to getting women's attention and he was testing her reactions, rather than him genuinely trying to woo her. Instead, it's her complete trust and faith in him (despite him being a "pirate" and having a somewhat shady past that he initially tries to hide) that really warms him to her.

Either intentionally or accidentally, this pair kept stealing moments alone together, and almost every one served to bring them just a bit closer together. You could really feel their relationship shifting from strangers to acquaintances to friends to ultimately lovers. They were BOTH gradually getting to know and falling for the other, rather than it being largely one party trying to win over the other.

And while Geordo has a relatively small role in this route and isn't really addressed until the ending... I think that works. As I mentioned in Geordo's route, he was complacent and assumed his "victory" was secure. He might have been initially paranoid, but he took reassurance from Silva initially saying Catarina was like a little sister and didn't consider that those feelings might change. But then unbeknownst to him, Catarina ended up spending A LOT of time with Silva (and as I said, those moments often happened to be ALONE, so no one else truly knew just HOW close they were getting), and falling for him. Basically, Geordo was caught sleeping on the job in this route and by the time he considered Silva a threat, it was too late.

One aspect of this route I really loved was Silva's interactions and dynamic with Rozy and the Lindgren family. It's so clear how much Rozy and his father truly love Silva, and Silva loves them too but is reluctant to officially join their family because doing so would cause a minor scandal. He'd rather keep a wall between them than burden them in any way because he feels indebted and unworthy, while they WANT him in the family and would happily accept any trouble he brings.

Heck, Rozy loves Silva enough that he didn't hesitate to back off when he noticed Silva getting close to Catarina, despite presumably being in love with her himself! The subtle way he gave the pair his blessing through giving Silva the notebook that had her picture - something he had in the past told Silva he "couldn't give" him, despite Silva's curiosity - was honestly sublime. One of my favorite moments in the entire game.

I also adored Silva opening up about his family and culture to Catarina, and then how he used that unique culture to woo her. Even before the reveal, the ear kisses were SO GOOD and clearly affecting her. In the end, when he revealed it was actually a sign that he was courting her? Buddy, that's too smooth!

Speaking of his confession, I loved that initially it seemed he was going to just confess his feelings and then back off, leaving the ball in her court. He wanted her to know how he felt before she left, since it would be who knows how long before they saw each other again, if ever, but he didn't intend to pressure her. It was only AFTER she instinctively stopped and clung to him - after she'd given him some small indication that she reciprocated - that he made a move. And what a move it was! The way he warned her to stop him or leave if she didn't want this before kissing her, MULTIPLE TIMES, was just... very attractive. He was probably already my favorite before this, but even if he hadn't been, this scene would have pushed him to the top anyway.

And the epilogue is also very lovely, with him having finally been officially adopted by the Lindgren family. He found a reason worth troubling them - so he could have the status and education to "properly" be with her without society putting up a fuss. It's so cute to see her so thrilled to see him again and being so happy and excited at the prospect of marrying him.

Finally, the conflict and drama in this route was once again pretty good. I don't have much to say (mainly because while I DID enjoy the conflict, the romance was just astoundingly solid and stole most of my focus), but everything regarding human experimentation and how Silva was directly linked to it and the antagonist was good. I wish the villain wasn't a brand new character not even SEEN in other routes though (he might have been MENTIONED in one or two other routes, but that's it).

One thing I think this story does REALLY well is the Butterfly Effect of Catarina changing the game's canon (something she hilariously never seems to fully grasp). Her one meeting with Rozy changed his life. And even though she NEVER met Silva as a child, her chance meeting with Rozy also rippled outward and still positively affected Silva, making him radically different than the "in-game" Silva, who most likely WASN'T a romanceable character but a true villain (I find it hard to believe the game would let you romance someone who callously kills several people in his INTRODUCTION and who is part of a pirate crew that is legitimately threatening/evil. I like to imagine Rozy was the true "secret" romance in the fandisk, since he WAS still in the game and on the ship).

Overall I thought this game was great and it far exceeded my expectations. I expected (and got) comedy, but the romances were mostly good and there was more drama and intrigue to many of the plots/conflicts than I expected. I'll definitely be returning to this game to re-experience my favorites.

In terms of my feelings on the routes as a whole, best to worst: Silva > Alan > Nicol > Rozy > Geordo >>>>> Keith

My feelings on the romance/relationship with Catarina: Silva > Alan > Geordo > Nicol >>> Rozy >>>>> Keith

[tarabyte3]

A year ago today, I posted my first Andy Serkis character fic, Reprieve, which is a retrospective Kino Loy ficlet. So I figured it would be fun to do some reflecting of my own.

In the past year, I've completed 2 more fics, I have 2 ongoing series, 4 unpublished drafts that I'm working on, and 4 documents that are still just ideas and chaotic notes for things I plan to write. All of which amounts to a word count of 169.5k in posted material, and around 191k including drafts.

That's, frankly, completely insane to me (and is so much smut).

Before this, I wrote fanfiction, I just rarely finished it or published it. This was also my first real attempt at writing Reader fic, which I barely even read before. Usually if I read fic, it's because I like a ship and the romantic chemistry between two characters, not because I'm particularly attracted to them (grey ace). Kino was the first time I thought, "No, I need that man for myself."

Now here I am, arguably decent at it.

There were a few months life got busy or my headspace wasn't particularly conducive for writing, so I slowed down getting chapters up, but I never stopped writing.

And I have no intention of stopping the Andy Blorbo content anytime soon. Not when I have so many ideas bouncing around in my head and thirst in my heart. However, I do think I'll be focusing more heavily on oneshots or fics that are only a few chapters long in the future because the 29 chapters of "I Want You to Show Me Weak" are trying to kill me. Why did I do that to myself.

I am so appreciative of all the support, encouragement, kindness, and feedback I've gotten on my silly little fics, as well as the very dear friendships I've made because of them. Thank you to everyone who read, liked, and reblogged my stuff. It means the world to me. I literally never expected anyone to see, let alone enjoy, anything I wrote.

Let's do this again in 2024, yeah? ✌️💖

[intolerable-sushi]

What once was

I finally finished the angst(?) Dark x reader story. I'm not a hundred percent sure if this actually counts as angst, so please let me know. And let me know if these types of stories are something you guys would like more of!! This story is super short by the way.

_____________________________________________________

The road to vengeance was paved in blood and sweat. It was a path Dark had no trouble taking. Friendships and bonds were not something he saw value in so using people to get his way was a very casual thing for him. The only thing he truly wanted at the end of the day was to bestow the same suffering onto Mark as he did to everyone around  him. However, despite his best efforts to focus on the task at hand, things continued to plague his mind. Someone from the past who continued to haunt him no matter how hard he tried to forget.

The attorney. His attorney. Damiens's attorney.

The person who had been at his side for years. The person who trusted him with their life, and didn’t doubt him for a second. The person that Damien had grown to love only for Dark to cast them aside. Despite his lack of emotions, Dark couldn’t help the feelings of regret and guilt he felt every time they invaded his mind. 

He told himself that leaving them in the mirror was for the best. That leaving them there would keep them safe from Mark, but he knew that that was a lie. They could have easily shared the body together, and maybe even worked together to stop Mark, but he was a selfish creature by nature. He hadn’t wanted to share the body with them, and ultimately they would have been nothing more than a hindrance, so he left them there. Cast them aside with no hesitation. He had been surprised the first time he recognized them. He was even more surprised and infuriated when he saw them with Mark. That bastard had somehow managed to worm his way into their lives again, but something seemed different. 

The two of them were constantly going on adventures in Mark’s van, and they were….. They were smiling. They looked like they were truly happy and having a good time. The sight boiled his blood. How dare they give HIM that smile. Don’t they remember all the death and misery he’s caused. He could barely keep himself intact at the thought. As much as he wanted to make his presents known to the two of them, Dark decided to wait for the proper time to reacquaint himself with his old friend. 

He didn’t get an opportunity until they were sleeping alone in the van one night. He materialized beside them and watched them sleep. They were just as breathtaking as he remembered. Despite years having passed since that night, despite everything they were still themselves. Out of everyone there that night, they changed the least. Dark’s observational time was interrupted as their eyes snapped open. 

“No………No…. No. nononononononononono!” The sat-up straight and backed up into the back door of the van. Their eyes were wide and filled with fear. They began to hyperventilate as they stared at Dark. 

“It is alright I’m not here to hurt you. I would like to talk-”

“ GET OUT!” It was Dark’s turn to stare wide eyed. “ I remember you! I remember what you did to me! You left me there for years!! Do you have any idea what it was like? To be slowly consumed by a being as old as time, to be constantly cold and alone with not even your screams to accompany as they are swallowed by the void. I don’t even remember how I got out. I only remember clawing my way out of that fucking house And you have the fucking adacity to come here to me wanting to talk!?” They had started their rant screaming and ended it sobbing. Dark could only stare at them. Despite everything, even now, he held back feelings. 

“ I did what I thought was best. I had to keep you away from HIM! He would have used you against-” 

“Are you talking about Mark? He was there for me unlike you! He let me stay here! We make videos together and he acts like an actual friend!!” They cut him off. 

  Dark could feel his form beginning to break as he listened to them defend him. “And it's just that, an act!! He doesn’t actually care about you!! He’s just using you!!”

“At least he cares enough to pretend!! At least he cares to take care of me! Where were you when I was alone in a world that has changed so much!! I can barely remember what it used to be like, but I remember that you used to be my friend. Why, why did you do this?” They stared at Dark with tear stained cheeks, eyes begging for an answer. An answer that he could never give them. He could only stare at them expressionless. The two stared at each other for a moment longer before Dark vanished. This had been a foolish endeavor. He should have known better. Once he materialized again in a random field he let everything go.

Every emotion he had came flooding out, the guilt, the shame, the love, the rage, everything. His form splintered and broke in a way it never had before, he felt like he was back in the house again. But he deserved this. The suffering they had gone through had been his fault. The hate they had for him was justified. He had pushed them towards the man who orchestrated the suffering of everyone around him. It was at that moment, in his agony, that Dark realized that he had truly become the villain that Mark had designated him to be. He had hurt someone who was not only truly innocent in this whole situation, but someone that Dark had truly cared about. Dark’s form continued to break and tear through the night as his mind returned to the love that had been, a world long gone, and a man he once was.