#i'm so grateful for these small moments. i want to cherish them forever

[gale-in-space]

Honestly, as certain as dust always comes back to coat my furniture, and dishes reappear in my sink, love finds new ways of revealing itself

[buttdumplin]

The sweet, lovely poly 141 boys and their Spanish-speaking latine partner.

This was meant to be a quick little thing, but boy did this get away from me lmao. This is the fluffiest shit I've ever indulged in and I love it. Big thank you to @mikichko for inspiring and helping with this!!!

CW: poly 141, gn!reader, latine reader, mexican slang, hint of d/s dynamics in Johnny's

Price, god love the man, is the one who seems to stumble the most. It's almost comical, considering the fact that Spanish and Arabic are so similar due to their histories. But there's a big difference between the Spanish he's learned to recognize and what you throw at him on the daily. He truly thinks it's because of his age, window of acquisition and all that. John does not expect to be able to speak fluently with you, but he does at least want to understand you. What he really wants, though, is to make you feel more fully at home with him, and he is forever grateful that you feel comfortable and safe enough with them to embrace all parts of your identity.

"Hola, amor mío. How was your day?" you greet him from the couch, eyeing him from tip to toe and almost whistling at seeing him in uniform. "Sigues rechulo, mi güerito, so I assume all went well?"

John swings down to kiss you, gripping the back of your neck to prolongue the kiss, trying to soak in as much of the affection as he can while also disguising the fact that he still doesn't fully recognize what came after.

"Yours was good too, I trust?"

"Yeah, but my brother called. El güey still con sus pinches mamadas and asking for my help. Aguas, in case he shows up this week."

"I... will keep an eye out, dove."

"Call me si les arma pedo and I'm not around."

He just nods sagely and squishes up against you on the couch, letting your warmth seep into his tired bones.

Later that evening, he rounds up the boys while you're in the shower and pulls out a small notebook where he's written things out phonetically. John may not have all the knowledge he needs, but he sure as hell is good at getting it.

"'Güey,' that's the brother's nickname?"

"No, that's like 'man/guy.' But it's also an insult. But not always," Johnny supplies.

"Fuck me, okay. 'Rechulo' is... I got nothing for that one."

"The 're' is for heavy emphasis, 'chulo' is 'cute/handsome/pretty.' 'Re' can go on practically any adjective," Simon steps in.

"'Aguas' and 'pedo' CANNOT be what they are, right?"

Kyle takes his hand and chuckles, "No, sweetheart. The first is like a warning, the second a fight or scene or scandal. In this context."

John's shoulders finally relax and he lets out a heavy sigh, putting the final touches on his notes of the day.

"Thank you, boys, for your patience and your kindness. And your secrecy," John huffs a little laughter and gives them his sweetest smile, the one where you can see the dimples poking out through the beard.

They all reach over to gently caress him, taking turns kissing the parts of him they can reach.

"Thank you, John, for trying so hard."

~

Beautiful, wonderful Kyle, the delight of a man that he is, is the one giving it as good as he gets. He's the one crooning in your ear, showering you with the most decadent terms of endearment, knowing full well they make your knees much weaker in Spanish. He'll use the advantage every single chance he has, don't doubt that for a second. But truly, it's the soft seclusion of those moments that he cherishes most, when you're looking up at him with big bright eyes, knowing you fully trust him to take care of you.

You're grumbling away as you wash dishes after dinner when Kyle comes up behind you, arms making the way slowly around your waist, chin dropping onto your shoulder.

"Oh, tesoro mío, look at you working away, working so hard for us."

You refuse to look at him and give a fussy pout. He knows it's your least favorite of the house duties. So much so that you're always willing to do almost anything as long as you don't have to touch wet food.

"It looks like you've done enough, cariño. Come join us in bed."

"No. None of you wanted to trade with me so se aguantan," you try to wiggle and bump his head away from yours.

"Come on, cosa hermosa, we need you with us to settle for the night," he pulls your hands from the water, drying them and turning you towards him.

You immediately bury your face into his chest. Can't look him in the eye, he'll win you over the moment you do.

"So they send in the smooth talker, huh?"

Kyle laughs, clear and bright, and he wraps you back up in his arms, gently cradling your head until you give in and look up at him.

"Or," he says, making you both rock gently, "I'm trying to sneak in a little solo time."

Your body melts against his as the words sink in, big eyes blinking softly up at him, "Besito?"

"As many as you want, mi vida. Until you grow bored of me," and you're letting out a sweet sigh as those soft lips meet yours.

His hands move to bring your body closer to his, to milk this quiet moment for as much contact as possible, to sear it all into his memory.

"You two are awfully quiet out there," Simon calls from the bedroom and it makes you break apart with a little jump.

You hear frantic rustling that has to be Johnny, "Hold on, what happened to doing the dishes!"

A chuckle escapes the two of you, sparkling eyes meeting in the low light from the stove hood. The sound of John huffing to get comfortable floats in from the bedroom.

"Just a minute more, hermosura," he mutters against your hair. "Wanna stay here a bit longer."

"Really liking all those pet names, aren't you?"

Kyle laughs again and gives you a squeeze, "Mean every single one of them."

And you happily linger, not pointing out that you've noticed an endearing pattern of Kyle wrapping up nights in the kitchen with you in his arms and a faint love song echoing down the hall for you two to sway to.

~

Beloved, darling Simon, he hides his own understanding of the language. He understands it nearly perfectly, with just the tiniest margin of error, nothing too big to bring attention to it. Overall, he's able to catch almost everything you mumble. It's not to be sneaky or anything like that, Simon would never do anything to compromise your privacy. It's more that he doesn't quite see the need to verbalize it. To him it's nothing special, no need to make a spectacle. Instead, he lets it seep into his actions, ever the acts of service lover that he is.

You're spread out on the couch, on the phone with your mother, complaining, "Como chingan los del trabajo. Me pidieron un reporte para el viernes y ahora me reclaman que todavía no se los he dado y apenas es miércoles."

There was a tension in your shoulders when you came home from work, he didn't miss that. Caught you jolting to a stop mid-stretch. And as the call goes on longer, Simon picks up on more.

"No he tenido chance de lavar ropa, ni una putisima pijama... Traigo un pinche antojo de mole, pero es un chingo de trabajo y ahorita no le puedo dedicar el tiempo..."

He quietly moves to gather the boys as you continue ranting and pace around the room. You're too caught up in your call to see them forming a massive huddle and their nodding at Simon right as the break and throw their joined hands in the air.

By the time you're off the phone, it's dark out and you notice the house is quieter than usual. You move to look for the boys (they can't have left without telling you, right?) when Simon pops out from the hall, crooked smile you love so much adorning his face, and he simply takes your hand to pull you into the bathroom. A hot bath greets you, some honeyed bath bomb already dissolving in the water and your laptop set up on a bucket besides the bath, your comfort show already pulled up and ready to play. Simon then points to your softest pajamas washed and set out on the counter for you.

"And you'll help me with my lotion too?"

He kisses your forehead, "When do I not?"

"The boys?"

"Setting up dinner. Kyle and I are making your favorite."

You whip around to face him, eyes wide and excited, "With fresh tortillas?"

With a low, affirmative hum Simon pulls you in closer and just holds you. He doesn't say anything, he doesn't need to. But he lends you his strength, which is all he can really hope for. The steady beat of his heart and the warmth of his arms around you help release the tightness in your body. Letting out your own little hum, you give him a squeeze and he squeezes back harder, crushing you in the way he knows you find comforting. There's a soft devotion in his tenderness with you, an unshakable support in every single thing you do.

"So you gonna undress me too, or...?"

A peal of laughter escapes you as he playfully swats at your butt, "Undress yourself. I've got cooking to do."

A day without hearing your laughter is a day poorly spent to Simon.

He's almost to the door when you pull him back into you, hands tugging on his shirt to bring him down to your height. His own laughter rumbles in his chest as you cover his face in loud kisses, and he stays locked in place. He will for as long as you need him to, never mind his back. If it's gonna go out eventually, he'd rather it go out from his time spent like this.

~

Johnny, bless the boy, is desperate to hear it, to have you address him directly. You speak plenty around the house, on phone calls with friends, talking back at the tv (some shows have been put on temporary bans, or at the very least you're not supposed to watch them alone), at the lovely crooked cat yall adopted. You shower them with pet names with every breath you take. And he loves it all! Loves that you so willingly share so much of yourself with them. But Johnny boy is dying for something specific- "Love, why don't you call me papi?"

When he voices it, it's a complete surprise. Simon and Kyle both laugh so hard so suddenly that they find themselves choking on their own spit. Price himself is caught so off-guard that he fully looks up from the dinner he's prepping in the kitchen, raw chicken slipping out of his hands and plopping back into the flour bowl. You at first laugh it off lightly, thinking it was one of his cutesy jokes he makes to get a giggle out of everyone. That would have made the most sense, honestly. But when he looks away, big blue eyes shining with the softest hint of embarrassment, it sinks in.

You shift in your seat a fraction, "Johnny, I don't even call any of you that in English. You know it's not exactly the same thing, right?"

"I know but the little old lady from the corner shop calls me "papi" and so does the older man who brings the water and other people too and it's always so affectionate and so I thought..."

He spares a glance at you, hoping he hasn't completely overstepped.

"Where did this come from?"

"Ale let it slip last time we grabbed coffee and the joy on Rudy's face was so blinding that I thought maybe we should try it."

"Honey--"

"Please, just once."

"But I--"

"It doesn't have to be a title! It can be soft and casual, no expectations."

"You don't--"

"I promise I'll be good for it."

Oh.

Your gaze meets the other boys' and you all take a good look at your Johnny. At some point during his pleading he brought himself down to kneel in front of you. His broad shoulders are slumped forward in submission, his hands clenched together so tightly his fingertips are completely white. Price nods at you, the other two eagerly nodding along as well.

Leaning forward, you grab him by the jaw, gently bringing his head to rest against your thigh.

Running your fingers through his hair, you utter out a low, "Sweet little thing like you just wants to be good, don't you papi?"

Johnny's eyes glaze over slightly, a shy, dazed smile growing on his face. There's not an ounce of hesitation in him as he nuzzles his face into your thigh, just sweet elation. Pleased grumbles escape the others, making Johnny's smile grow bigger.

You make sure to add it into your regular circulation.

[onlybunss]

Always And Forever: Till Death Do Us Part

Pairing~ fiance!jungkook x fiance!reader

Warnings~ crying ,soft!jk, pet names, kissing

A/N: This takes place after Friends Forever and Always and Forever

"Y/N, are you ready?" I hear what my best friend Kura says as she knocks on my door. I look in the mirror and take a deep breath. Today is the day I've been preparing for, and I can't let my nerves get the best of me now. With a smile, I open the door and nod confidently at Kura "I'm ready," I say, feeling a surge of excitement and determination. Kura grins and gives me a reassuring hug before we head out the door together.

As we make our way to the venue, I can't help but feel grateful for Kura's unwavering support. Knowing that she is by my side gives me the confidence I need to walk down the aisle towards a new chapter of my life with Jungkook. I take a deep breath, reminding myself of all the moments we've shared and the love that has brought us to this day. The nerves begin to fade as I focus on the future ahead, filled with happiness and endless possibilities. I stop and look at my friend Kura and say "Ku..I want to thank you for being my friend and supporting me through this journey. Your presence means the world to me, and I couldn't imagine this day without you here". Kura smiles warmly and squeezes my hand, "I'm so grateful to be by your side on this special day. You deserve all the love and happiness in the world, and I know Jungkook will make you the happiest person alive." With her words of encouragement, I feel a surge of gratitude and excitement as I prepare to take the next step towards forever with my partner.

As I step towards the altar, I look at Jungkook waiting for me with a smile that lights up the room, and I know in my heart that I am exactly where I am meant to be. Today is the beginning of our new chapter together, and I couldn't be more ready to start this journey with him by my side. "Were gathered here today to witness the union of two souls who have found true love in each other?" The officiant's voice fills the air, and I feel a sense of peace wash over me as I hold Jungkook's hand tightly. "As they embark on this journey together, may they always remember the love that brought them here today, and may it continue to grow stronger with each passing day. Let us all join in celebrating their commitment to each other and wish them a lifetime of happiness and love. May their bond be unbreakable and their love everlasting as they face life's challenges together with unwavering support for each other. And as they exchange vows and rings, may they always cherish and honor the promises they make to each other on this special day. " The officiant says "Your vows" Me and Jungkook look into each other's eyes, feeling the love and warmth that brought us together.

I start my vows. "Koo, what do I say to express the depth of my love for you? From the moment we met in that coffee shop, I knew you were the one I wanted to spend forever with. I remember us joking about dating because we were too shy to make the first move. But here we are now, ready to commit our lives to each other in front of our loved ones. Today, I promise to always support you, cherish you, and love you unconditionally, even when your hair is gray and our faces are wrinkled with age. Even when you may not remember our younger days, I will always hold those memories close to my heart. I vow to be by your side through all of life's ups and downs, creating new memories together as we grow old gracefully. I vow to be your partner in all things, to laugh with you in times of joy and comfort you in times of sorrow. You are my rock, my love, and my everything. "

Jungkook smiles through tears of happiness as he begins his vows.

"Love, after all you said, I don't know if I can say anything to wow you, but I will do my best." Jungkook says while chuckling, " I promise to always support you and encourage you to chase your dreams, no matter how big or small they may be. I promise to be by your side through thick and thin, to listen to you with an open heart even if all your doing is telling me not to wear a see through shirt because its only for your eyes ." When he says that, the whole room erupts in laughter, reminding everyone of the playful dynamic between Jungkook and his partner. The sincerity and humor in his vows leave not a dry eye in the room, as they capture the essence of their relationship perfectly. "I promise to cherish every moment we share together. You are my soulmate, my best friend, and my forever. Let's continue to grow and support each other, facing life's challenges with love and laughter. " The couple's love story continues to inspire those around them, showing that true love knows no bounds. " With tears of joy in his eyes, Jungkook finishes his vows with a heartfelt declaration of forever.

As they exchange rings, their love shines brightly, a beacon of hope for all who witness their union. The couple seals their vows with a kiss, beginning a new chapter filled with endless love and happiness.

Our love story serves as a reminder that true love can conquer all obstacles, bringing joy and fulfillment to those who believe in its power. As we walk hand in hand into their future, Jungkook and me are sure of one thing our love will forever be eternal.

[mariasont]

The Manuscript - A.H

a/n: this was supposed to be based on t.s new song manuscript, but it didn't realllyyy turn out like that

‧₊˚ ✩°｡⋆♡ ⋆˙⟡♡ ⋆˙⟡♡⋆｡°✩˚₊‧

pairings: aaron hotchner x reader

summary: while unpacking you find a series of letters aaron wrote to you in college

warnings: angst, age gap (reader is 20s, hotch is 40s), haley and jack don't exist in this universe

wc: 1.3k

Your gaze swept over the towering stacks of boxes littering your living room floor, and with a resigned sigh, you began the daunting task of unpacking them. Your hands found the nearest box deftly lifting the flaps as you began to pull out its contents. Your felt the soft crinkle of paper beneath your fingers, and gently, you drew out a stack of letters, their edges softened with time, all neatly tied together with a string. 

Your heart seized a sudden halt as you realized just what they were. Your throat constricted, parched, as tears stung your eyes, threatening to spill over, your fingers coming to rest over your mouth. Instinctively, your body sank onto the cold hardwood floor, gently placing the papers down beside you. You had forgotten these had even existed, let alone made it with you on the move.

You didn't remember seeing them when you packed, did you? Your fingers shook slightly as they picked apart the knot, and with a hesitant touch, you reached for the first piece of weathered paper.

January 5

Honey, 

Your letter was a welcome surprise, far sweeter than any text message could be. I enjoyed spending New Years Eve with you too, and I hope this case ends quickly so I can take you on a real date. 

I'm glad to hear college is going well. Should you encounter any more issues with your professor, please let me know. You're a bright young woman, and I have no doubt he'll see that in time. I am looking forward to your next letter.

Yours,

Aaron

--

March 12

Honey, 

I'm glad you enjoyed our date as much as I did. At times, I find my thoughts wandering to you in that dress, and it's a welcome distraction. 

I'm glad you look forward to our letters, because I do too. And yes, rest assured, I'm taking all necessary precautions in the field. Don't worry, the team has my back, especially Garcia--she's got more eyes on us than stars in the sky. 

Goodluck on your psychology exam. I know you will ace it.

Yours,

Aaron. 

--

May 5

Honey,

I've read your letter several times, and I want you to know that it's perfectly normal to question your path. Trust your instincts--they've led you well thus far. Remember you are allowed to change your mind. Your parents will understand.

No matter what you decide, I have no doubt you will succeed. You have a rare combination of intelligence and empathy that will serve you well in any profession.

Once I'm back, how about we go to that restaurant you love? Consider it a date.

Yours,

Aaron.

--

July 19

Honey,

Summer suits you, I can tell--even from a distance. I'm proud of the work you're doing--shadowing at the occupational therpay office and working with children is no small feat. You'll have to tell me all about it when I get back.

The case is demanding, as they often are. And as for the sweatshirt, consider it yours. I had a feeling it wouldn't find its way back to me anyway.

We should talk about getting you a key to my place. Then you'll have no need to borrow my things--you'll have access to them whenever you wish. 

I love you. I'll say it again when I see you.

Yours forever, 

Aaron

--

January 14

Honey,

Congratulations on your first semester of OT school. I am incredibly proud of you and everything you have accomplished. Smarty pants. 

I'm glad to hear you've been using the journal I gave you for Christmas. I would give you a thousand if that's what you wanted. 

When I'm back, we'll celebrate your achievements properly. Until then, know I'm grateful for you every day. You've made me the happiest I've been, and I cherish every moment we share. I love you. 

Yours forever,

Aaron 

--

May 20

Honey,

Your last letter lingered on the topic of our age difference, and I've been giving it a lot of thought. It's a subject that, admittedly, has crossed my mind more than once. But let me reassure you, to me, it's the person you are, not the years you've lived, that matters most.

I understand the concerns that come with this, and I want you to know that it's okay. Your feelings are valid. We're navigating this together, and I remain certain in my commitment to you and to us. 

We'll talk more about this when I'm home. I love you. 

Yours forever,

Aaron

--

August 8

Honey,

I want you to know that I didn't mean to leave things unresolved, I'm sorry I was called away. I'm not writing to rehash the argument. I understand everything you said, and it's given me much to think about.

You are the most important part of my life, and us being at odds is more challenging than any case I've ever face. I love you deeply, and I'm committed to finding a way through this together. When I return, let's sit down and talk--really talk. I'm sorry for the way things were left, and I hope we can move past this. 

Yours forever,

Aaron

--

December 22

Honey,

I find myself at a loss for words yet compelled to write to you. I've had time to reflect on everything that happened between us. I'm deeply sorry for any hurt I've caused, and how things unfolded. My only wish was for us to want the same things. 

Please know, I will always be here for you, in any capacity you need. I hope you find someone who is worthy of you and can provide the life you deserve. You deserve someone who can walk with you through all stages of your life--someone who can give you the family you dream of. You have so much to offer.

You are an extraordinary person, and I have no doubt you will find great love and joy. And though it may not be with me, please remember, I still love you.

Yours always,

Aaron.

--

You hadn't even realized you were crying until your tears began to soak into the page, each droplet distorting the text as it spread. Your hand moved instinctively to your face, the fabric of your sleeve brushing against your wet cheek. A decade-old ache twisted inside you sharply, as fresh as if it were only yesterday.

You returned the letters to their stack, the bow tied as neatly as it was before, and laid them at the bottom of the box. As the papers found their place, your focus shifted, something else catching your attention--the journal he'd given you.

The sudden patter of footsteps coming down the stairs snapped you back to the present. Hastily, you wiped away the lingering tears and secured the lid on the box. As you turned, your face transformed with a practiced smile just as your seven-year-old daughter came skipping into view, her voice bubbling with excitement, "Mommy, mommy!"

Gathering her up in your arms, you showered her cheeks with affectionate kisses, her infectious giggles filling the empty house. 

"When is daddy going to be home?"

With a gentle smile, you replied, "Soon, sweetheart," while your fingers danced along her side, eliciting more giggles. "Do you want to help Mommy unpack?"

She quickly scrunched her nose and shook her head. "Mmm, no, not really."

You laughed, and your heart swelled with love so intense it almost hurt. The front door swung open, and your daughter's voice pierced the air once more with a, "Daddy!"

Her little feet dashed off as she rushed to greet him, leaving you to resume unpacking. You barely had time to refocus when you felt a gentle touch in your hair.  Aaron was there, kneeling to your level with a tender smile. 

"Hi, honey," he said, his hand pausing as he noted the redness around your eyes. "What's wrong angel?"

You reach for the letters, holding them out to Aaron with a half-smile. "Just revisiting the time you were this close to losing the best thing in your life," you tease, a laugh bubbling up. But as the laughter fades, it morphs into a sob.

Aaron's laughter mingled with yours as he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you close to his chest. "Yeah, that was a close one," he admitted, his voice a soft rumble. "Glad I came to my senses." 

[stxrvel]

i don't wanna live forever (5)

summary: the time had come to destroy HYDRA and collect for all that had been taken from them...

pairing: bucky barnes x f!reader

words: 6k

warnings: descriptions of: blood, wounds, fights and weapons. probably gonna wake a lot of sadness since the begining. mentiones of suicide thoughts. heartbreak. stubborn characters. mentions of character deaths (canon). remember i'm not that good at writing action scenes and that English is not my first language!

note: hi guys! i didn't rest today at work. instead, i wrote 6k words for my actual hyperfixation and i'm actually exhausted. sometimes i write first in spanish and then in english, when my head is not up for the double translate, and leave the conversion to future me. this is future me talking and i hate myself for that. but i'm kind of proud how this one came out, so i hope you guys like it the same! feedback and reactions are always appreciated! see u guys next time <3

part 1

It was already getting dark when the small cellar you were in with your friends filled with applause and singing, a joy bouncing off the walls as you walked in Steve's direction with a grin from ear to ear. Your blond friend watched the small cake Peggy had gotten him that afternoon head towards him between your hands, setting it down on an upturned wooden barrel, a little damp, that they would use as a table.

Peggy and Bucky were off to the side, their faces matching your excitement as Steve reached down and shook his head.

“I don't even want to imagine how you got that cake in,” was the first thing Steve said when the happy birthday song ended, shooting you a grateful look. His eyes sparkled like you hadn't seen in many days and you felt Peggy's squeeze on your forearm as she came over to form a little circle just like Bucky.

“Trust me, you don't want to know,” Peggy shook her head, her smile matching the blond's.

You watched Steve split a piece of the cake with a spoon you had no idea where Peggy had gotten it from, your friend bursting out laughing when Steve raised his head and she smeared white cream all over his nose. At that moment you felt Bucky's body heat behind you, all your senses turning on at once.

“No candle, but you can make a wish before you take the first bite.”

Steve shared a look with his friend, still with that twinkle in his eye and the most relaxed expression he'd had in days. He was still wearing his uniform, having caught him by surprise to bring him into the warehouse after a long day of planning strategies for the next mission against HYDRA. You and Peggy had been thinking for several days about doing something, and being that it was rather difficult to throw a small party in the camp you were in, you decided to opt for something a little more ordinary and familiar. You couldn't say, however, that Steve didn't like it, not when you saw him smiling at everyone so openly, shoulders down and spreading laughter to everyone around him.

With the spoon halfway to his mouth, Steve closed his eyes and made a wish.

You smiled indulgently, watching two of your friends share a small moment as Steve took some more cake to give Peggy. With your hands behind your back, you suddenly felt Bucky's left hand make its way through your fingers, intertwining your hands very carefully.

“How's the taste?”

Steve shook his head nodding at your words, his brow furrowing in pleasure as he enjoyed the large bites he was taking of the cake. At that moment, all you could think about was how much you would sacrifice to stay in that bubble forever, even without knowing what was coming next.

-

“Are you okay?”

You heard his footsteps before you saw him, his body leaning against the second to last step where you had sat and turned away from the others. The routine you had had to get used to over the past few months, after believing you were going to change the world, had become a constant burden that was hard to shake off. Still, you took and cherished moments like those when you could go out and sit and just watch the vast sky stretching for miles. The stars shone so brightly there, in the middle of the forest, that they seemed like little beacons seeking to guide you to a better future; perhaps to a future that you did deserve. Steve also sometimes accompanied you in silence, having learned that he couldn't always argue with you about the meaning of life and the purpose for which you two had to carry out the unjust orders of superiors. You once saw one of his drawings, a woman sitting at the top of a flight of stairs and a starry night giving her a message of hope. Maybe he saw it the same way too after a while.

“Yeah,” you replied to Bucky with a tight-lipped little smile.

Bucky didn't know much about you now. As the weeks went by you realized it was true what he had once told you, when the America's couple shows and his platoon's stay coincided for the first time in months. You had changed a lot since the serum injection. And, well, who wouldn't, after all? That's why when you were together after so long he spent time very close to you, very aware of you, checking with his excellent senses that nothing was out of place. That you were okay.

You didn't know if he had believed you, by the way his face remained expressionless, barely a slight twitch of his eyebrows, but he didn't repeat the question.

“Do you think there's anything else for us, besides this?”

Bucky turned his gaze to look at the sky and you watched his profile, the curve of his eyelashes and his half-opened lips. Situations like that had become commonplace, too. Since you no longer spent so much time together and you had changed so much because somehow you had to adapt to the harsh reality against which you had crashed, Bucky constantly wondered many things about life that ended up being his own fears materialized in existential crises. For him his world was shaking. Since you told him that you had been invited to the Super Soldier project with Steve, everything had become uncertainty for him. Uncertainty about his life, about your life, about the life you wanted to have together, uncertainty about the future, uncertainty about life.

You had the conception that Bucky could never fully adapt to the abrupt change that meant his two best friends were involved in a private experiment that gave them heightened senses and more strength and speed than an average human. Now he seemed to looked at himself like the mere mortal who walked shoulder to shoulder with two gods. He seemed to feel that death would knock faster at his door and it drove him mad.

“Yeah, I don't think this is it,” you shook your head in assent, watching out of the corner of your eye as Bucky rested his forearms on his knees and leaned forward a bit. His hands interlocked and parted, his fingertips met and parted, his fists opened and closed.

“But you'll outlive me,” Bucky looked down, his blue eyes glittering focused on yours under the moonlight. You could barely hear movement in the back of the hold where Peggy and Steve were still talking. Your heart flipped at the vulnerability you saw through his eyes, lately more common than you'd like. You didn't like not being able to quell those thoughts that dominated his head; the insecurities and fears that made him doubt so many things in the middle of the night.

“We'd live the same amount of time,” you assured him shaking your head, your own mind refusing to accept that Bucky's fears could take more power over him. Whatever you could do to calm him, you would do, always.

“You have the serum. You and Steve will live for many more years. Hell, maybe you'll even be immortals,” Bucky tried to smile, but a grimace settled on his face and made his words bitter. He was subtly trying to untwist his shoulders, barely moving to your side trying not to show too much that he was kind of nervous.

“Why are you telling me that now?” you shifted on the wooden step, moving a little closer towards him. Bucky tensed visibly, not because of the closeness, but because he knew the moment was coming when you would stop following his lead and start asking him what was really plaguing his mind. For some reason, Bucky couldn't approach those topics of conversation naturally, letting his mind and words wander a bit before daring to take his fears by the horns.

“I don't know… I guess. It's a truth I have to accept,” he confessed, his voice so fragile and soft that had it not been for the extreme hearing the serum had granted you, you surely wouldn't have understood him. You felt your heart crumple and moved your hand from your lap to cradle his hands that he still could not let still.

“But it is a truth that is still a long way from being fulfilled.”

“And first we have to get through the war,” Bucky turned his hands to lace them with yours, his fingers intertwining with yours and giving them a squeeze.

“We will. I have no doubt about it. In fact, I have a plan to persuade Phillips,” you smiled at him trying to lighten the weight on his shoulders a bit.

Little surprised, Bucky let out a laugh, his free shoulders shaking in sync with his chest. A beautiful smile spread across his face, and you would've enjoyed it except you could still notice his tired eyes and the dark traces beneath them. It seemed that the moonlight intensified the reality of his emotions.

“You always have a plan for everything.”

“What can I say? I'm an optimist,” you lifted your shoulders, leaning against Bucky's side. His head dropped to rest on the crown of your head, his breathing synchronizing with yours for a moment.

“Between the two of us, you definitely are,” he murmured, taking a deep breath, enjoying the moment for several seconds. “Sorry for… coming to bring up those topics of conversation.”

“No, it's okay. I like to listen. And you tend to do that sometimes,” you shook your head over his shoulder trying to dispel the topic, Bucky's hands tightening around yours.

“What?”

“You suddenly talk about things you don't want to tell me too much about and then put a little light-hearted attitude on it so it doesn't sound so serious.”

Bucky lifted his head, causing you to move in time to meet his surprised expression as well. His lips were trying to twitch into a smile, but he didn't seem to know if he wanted to laugh or frown.

“Do I really do it that often?”

“A little, yes.”

“Ah, I'm pretty bad at dissembling I guess,” Bucky looked up, finally succumbing to the smile. The gesture satisfied you enough to delve into the emotion with him, taking a moment to further enjoy that scenario you could no longer be a part of lately; to enjoy those everyday moments where you could feel love materially spark around you, as if it was a novel written solely to satisfy human romantic desires and whims.

You shook your head, returning to the subject.

“But you don't have to worry about my supposed immortality. I know we'll live the same,” you assured him once more, your arms wrapping around his right arm and squeezing it securely, hugging him, trying to send him some of the confidence you felt inside.

“How are you so sure?”

The truth was, you weren't, but you couldn't let him know that, much less let him know that you didn't expect his life expectancy to be as extensive as yours was now either. But how were you going to tell him that? He must've been martyred enough by his own thoughts during every moment of the day when they drowned him, and it wasn't as if you expected too much of a life after him either. You could have immortality served on a silver platter, but what would be the point if you had to spend it on your own? Bucky was thinking about not wanting to leave you alone, and you were thinking about the impossibility of finding a reason to live after him.

“Because I know I don't want to live forever if I'm not with you.”

Bucky stopped his light, ghost-like caresses on your fingers. He turned his face to look at you, his nostalgic expression disappearing in a matter of seconds. His blue eyes looked contrite, as if there was a storm inside them. You had never hesitated in your answer, no matter when he had asked. And yet you seemed to have taken him by surprise; it seemed that such a thing would never have crossed his mind even by accident.

“Y/N…”

“I'd be living in vain. Stolen time,” you shook your head, averting your gaze from the depths of his, an unknown kind of longing or fear furrowing across his features that you couldn't bear to see a second longer. You were there at that moment and you would see each other again later, why did you have to think about it too much?

Bucky sighed. Only when you felt his body relax against your side did you know he understood that it would do no good for him to try to antagonize you.

“Still, you deserve a life like this. After all you've been through,” his voice was barely a whisper that tore through the silent chill that surrounded you, but the implication of his words furrowed against your chest like a dagger. You shook your head before the memories could reach you.

“We all deserve it, especially in this world consumed by the greed of power and hatred.”

You saw him nod out of the corner of your eye, his hands wrapping around one of your hands, the one closest to his side and bringing it up to his lips to kiss your knuckles. His eyes were fixed on your profile, you could feel it, but you were afraid to turn to look at him and allow your emotions to come out. You were too sweet to succumb to strong feelings when you were with Bucky.

“Hey!” was Steve's voice, like a beacon in the middle of the ocean, making you both turn at the same time. “Peggy's just leaving.”

“Want a ride, Barnes?”

“Ah, it would be my pleasure, Agent Carter.”

Peggy moved, after saying goodbye to Steve and you, and walked in the direction of the huge forest that stretched into the distance where she had parked her car. Or Howard's car, you couldn't quite make out through the darkness.

“See you later, Miss I-don't-want-to-live-forever,” Bucky approached you with a half smile, having said goodbye to Steve, meeting him halfway to melt you in his arms. The tension in your shoulders eased considerably, a sigh making its way into your chest.

“Take care, Bucky,” you squeezed his waist, because you weren't tall enough to reach his shoulders in a hug, and he squeezed you back in response.

“Sure thing. I got to see my girl again, after all.”

You laughed between the hollow of his neck and shoulder, feeling your cheeks burn. Bucky broke away just barely to look at you with his own huge grin.

“Don't overdo it, Barnes.”

“Come on!” Peggy insisted, glancing at the watch on her wrist.

You broke away from Bucky, trying to push him to get into the car with his affianced friend, but he had other plans. In the midst of your struggle to push him away, he grabbed one of your wrists, using very little force to pull you close to his chest, his lips crashing against yours in a fleeting action, but not at all rough, barely a brush. Before you knew what happened he had already pulled away from you.

“When I get back, we have a lot to talk about.”

He never came back. He left in the next couple of days for the mission on the train and all you got back was a shattered Steve, his face dirty and sticky from all the tears he'd shed, his pleading eyes crystallizing on you the moment he had to tell you that Bucky had died. You could still remember how his voice cracked as he begged your forgiveness, repeating it over and over as if it would ease the burden he felt on his shoulders, the guilt for not being able to get him in time. You never blamed Steve for what happened, but it seemed like he did for a long time.

Reliving those memories was always a constant martyrdom. After Bucky's funeral you didn't think you could move on, but carrying all his pain in a sack of rocks, Steve assured you that they would avenge the reason Bucky had died. HYDRA. So you did and were able to carry on for a while until Steve was also declared KIA.

Peggy and Howard were a great help when you realized that you couldn't die on your own, because you healed faster than normal and could spend more time than humanly possible underwater. To say that you didn't try to leave the earthly world would be a lie, but your friends tried to help you in every way they could until you had to leave the United States. When you thought you would have to spend years hiding in Europe, Howard told you that wasn't necessary. Just staying under the radar and out of the feds' jurisdiction would be fine and he would take care of it. And one day, after spending a week in the apartment you were renting without getting out of bed for almost any reason, a knock on the door startled you.

“Correspondence,” rang through the silence of the apartment.

You only got up because you knew the mailman was wrong. You had given your address to absolutely no one and there was no way any person knew of your existence in that country. You thought you took pity on the man, when he handed you the letter and it did indeed have your name on it.

It was an acceptance letter from some university. Apparently you had enrolled to study mathematics.

You had a suspicion of what was going on, but something in your chest asked you to ignore it. The letter asked for an interview before classes started in exactly three days, and after that interview you received a letter from Peggy.

When Howard died you knew you couldn't go back to Europe. Largely because you had to find out who his killer was, but also because you wanted to watch over Peggy's life as you couldn't do for your other three friends. You were often terrified for your friend's life, especially having the job she had and dealing with all those powerful people who wouldn't hesitate for the blink of an eye to order her death.

Steve was right. You stayed with Peggy to investigate Howard's death. But you also stayed because she was the only thing you had left and you had to take care of her; you had to preserve her, to do everything you could to prevent another tragic and unnecessary death. You would've sacrificed anything in life just to allow Peggy to have the life she deserved. And so you did. You cared for her for many years, you were so attentive to her that her children called you aunt and then her grandchildren called you grandma; you were at all her family gatherings, giving gifts to her children at Christmas and celebrating each new year as you watched time pass through her eyes. Every January 1st you saw it as a win, a whole year in which so much sacrifice had been worth it.

Now… well, now everything was a bit more complicated.

Natasha had left the abandoned dam first after going over the plan one last time. You were supposed to go with Steve and Sam, even though Steve was reluctant to have you near the Winter Soldier again, as if you didn't have the same strength and agility as he did. Of course, his fear was rooted in something completely different than that, something he and Natasha had discovered with Zola.

“HYDRA spent years searching for you to recreate the super-soldier serum after the war. If not for the excellent work Peggy and Howard did, they probably would've found you more easily.”

Now, having such a palpable possibility of destroying HYDRA, you didn't think there was the slightest chance that they were still thinking about it, although Natasha stressed that it seemed to be that the soldier had two different missions when he found them in the middle of the city, one of them being that he was to keep you alive. Zhivoy, you recalled bitterly. Alive.

Steve didn't want to risk finding something else waiting for them when they reached the helicarriers, something that might lead you away from him. And yes, you understood his concern because it was the same one you'd felt for years and was more latent recently since Steve returned. But you weren't going to stand by like a fucking statue while they did all the work. You would take it upon yourself to destroy HYDRA completely and deprive them of any chance they might have to get close to Steve, you or Bucky again. Whatever you had to do, you'd do it.

“He's not the same,” you had told Steve, as you walked to the Triskelion in the company of Sam and Maria.

“But he'll remember us,” Steve assured, his hand tightly gripping the strap with which he held the shield. Steve had been repeating that to himself all day, even in front of Sam. You couldn't believe you were the one trying to maintain an objective demeanor in that situation.

“Yeah, maybe at some point. But right now it's not him, Steve,” you turned to look at him, his face fixed on the expanse of water surrounding the large building he used to work for. “He's not the Bucky we knew.”

Steve looked back at you, pausing for a moment. You knew he was mindful of it, you knew Steve was aware of how dangerous he was now; that there was a good chance he really didn't remember them and you wanted to make sure that wouldn't cloud his judgment; that he would still fight for his life.

But the resolve in his eyes didn't convince you. His lack of response fanned a hollow in your chest, your hands breaking out in a cold sweat as you stared at the empty space he left in front of you.

Steve was willing to bring him back and you were afraid of losing him.

For some reason, you felt it had to be different.

-

You heard Steve's voice over the speakers, running so you could find the helicarriers exit before they took off. Steve and Sam were supposed to meet you halfway, but you were already halfway there, fighting off a few agents, and you still didn't hear them nearby. Your breath caught in your throat as one of the STRIKE agents grabbed you by the throat while another plunged an electric baton into your side, the sensation of volts coursing through your entire nervous system sending you into a momentary state of shock.

You dropped your hands to stop struggling with the agent behind you and grabbed the wrist holding the baton with an overly strong grip, snapping the bone in place and jerking your head to strike the face of the man behind you as his grip wobbled for a second. Both agents fell to the ground, two bones broken in less than a minute. You grabbed the baton before departing, hitting them both in the head barely using half your strength, knocking them unconscious instantly.

As you exited the Triskelion facility to meet the gap you would have to jump over to intercept the first helicarrier, you heard Steve and Sam's voices closer. Oh, right, you forgot to use the communicator.

“Where were you?” Steve exclaimed, running alongside Sam closer to the chasm.

“You've got blood on your neck,” Sam pointed out, before spreading his metal wings and flying off into the sky.

“Put on your communicator,” Steve asked you just before you both jumped at the same time, a feeling of emptiness planting itself in the pit of your stomach.

You landed with your legs bent and leaned forward for a spin before getting up and continuing to run alongside Steve. You rummaged in one of your pants pockets, praying that the small devices hadn't been shattered during the fights you had inside the Triskelion.

Only one was spared.

Steve barely sent you a reproachful glance, shaking his head, as you approached a horde of HYDRA agents. You barely finished putting the small communicator to your ear when the hail of bullets came in their direction. Steve grabbed your arm to pull you behind his shield until he managed to hide behind two large containers. The fight was immediate.

The group of agents split up and you jumped right in front of two of them, sliding on the ground to use the baton from below to disarm them. You knocked one of them out with the high volts of the baton and the other tried to stab you from behind, but you stopped his hand midway and flipped his arm over, a shriek of pain escaping him as his shoulder dislocated. The man fell to his knees and, lifting one leg, you half-turned to strike his face with your full tibia.

“Cap, I found the bad guys you were talking about,” you heard Sam's voice, noting that, although that communicator was working, the voice you perceived sounded distant.

“Are you okay?” you heard Steve, as he came closer and you stepped on the handle of the staff, lifting it in a single stroke so that it landed in your hand.

“Not dead yet.”

Steve nodded, though he knew Sam couldn't see him and gave you a questioning look.

“Works?” he pointed to your ear, starting to pace.

“A little bruised, but does the job.”

Your friend shook his head, starting to run inside the helicarrier.

“Cap?” you smirked.

“Don't start,” the blond spoke through his teeth, moving toward his target. “Report location.”

You nodded in his direction, heading for the first agents who appeared to obstruct his path, clearing Steve's way in the direction of the helicarrier hub.

When you were done with the agents and Steve was finally able to enter the control center, you turned your attention to the voices ringing through the communicator.

“Ah, shit,” was Sam's voice, and the next thing you heard was gunfire around the helicarrier next to it.

“Fine, but you're going with me. I don't want to let you out of my sight,” Steve had said a few hours before they left the dam, leaving no room for argument in his haughty voice.

“That's unnecessary, Steve. We'd waste too much time,” you shook your head, trying to match his stoic, stern expression.

“She's right,” Maria nodded in your direction. “There are three helicarriers and three of you.”

“No,” Steve began to rise, your eyes following the movement of his body and his blue eyes fixed on yours. “Fury delegated orders to me, and that's an order.”

You indulged Steve until you lost sight of him, understanding he had said that out of pent-up fear. You grabbed one of the weapons that had been left on the ground and passed the strap over your head. The third helicarrier was a considerable distance away at a jump. You had to pick up too much speed to even make it to the tip, but you weren't going to stand there waiting for Steve when you could be doing something more; something necessary.

So that's what you did. Steve still hadn't reported state when you started running from tip to tip, your steps getting bigger with every second until you reached the gap and picked up momentum at the tip. That was insane. You felt the emptiness in your stomach again and out of the corner of your eye you could see a couple of explosions occurring in the harbor where the helicarriers had departed from. You stretched your arms out, counting on having propelled your body far enough, fearing a deadly fall as the other edge began to look higher and higher.

“Y/N, status,” you heard Hill, your heart in your mouth.

Your mind went blank for a second, when in the midst of the adrenaline you almost didn't even feel the moment when your left hand gripped the edge of the helicarrier tightly, the aircraft moving a little farther with each passing second. You had jumped at just the right moment.

Breathing hard, you propelled yourself upward until you could plant your feet back on the runway floor and replied to Maria, “Waiting.”

Steve must've thought you were still on the helicarrier with him.

As you ran, Sam reported that he had intercepted the second helicarrier after Steve, barely recognizing their voices amidst the tussle you were having with the agents who had appeared before you could reach the control room door.

“Y/N, where are you?” the voice of Steve came over the comm, a few minutes after you took down the last agent, moving in the direction of the metal door. You felt heavily for the programming card you had taken from Steve when he had pulled you close to get behind his shield, as you heard him ask Sam if he could see you.

You were about to reach the door when the scenery abruptly changed, a body appearing out of nowhere colliding into your left side sending you crashing to the ground hard.

“Shit.”

“Y/N?”

You ignored Steve's voice, moving to push off the heavy body on top of yours. Amidst the struggle you crawled away across the floor, a hand clutching at your ankle before you could move any further.

You recognized him by the coldness that ran through your body at the contact. You could almost be sure it had burned you.

This time he wasn't wearing the mask, those blue eyes boring deep into your head, the angry expression very different from how you had seen him last time. Although you would've liked to stay longer just watching, after spending so many years suffering his death, you pulled the leg he had held captive and tried to hit him in the face, his metal arm moving faster neutralizing the hit.

At that moment you stood up arching your back, planting your feet hard and running towards the soldier before he could catch you off guard.

You tried to strike his face, but he nimbly dodged every blow, just as you dodged his. He let out a grunt of frustration as you sent him to the ground with a kick to the chest, pulling a weapon from his side that he didn't hesitate a second to point in your direction. Feeling the air caught in your throat, you moved quickly on the ground, trying to escape his bullets while managing to find a place to hide.

You heard his footsteps approaching, as you hid behind a container, stopping just on the other side, and you moved to the right side of the container when you knew he was going to jump out and surprise you from above.

His body froze for a second, which you took advantage of to jump over the dumpster and grab him from behind, the baton you had on your belt wrapped around his neck, cutting off his breathing. You tried to hold him tight as he tried to push away your grip with his metal arm, almost as strong as your push to keep him in place.

The soldier began to slow his movements, but if you hadn't been so torn between he's the Winter Soldier and he's Bucky, you would've noticed one of his hands move over his vest, grabbing the handle of a knife and burying it in your right leg hard, all the way in, causing you to gasp.

Clearly your grip wobbled, the soldier taking possession of your staff and turning around as he pulled the blade out of your leg to direct his foot towards your chest, pushing you back to the ground where you fell with a loud thud.

The wound was deep. You could feel and hear the blood pouring out of it, but you didn't just stand there as you saw him leap down from the container, raising his arms to parry his attack as he directed the knife towards your face. His face contorted and scrunched up in concentration was all you could focus on, remembering that you couldn't let him win, but you also couldn't hurt him like he wanted to hurt you. You had to be objective, yes, but the thought of hurting him once more was heartbreaking.

You struggled with his hand until he let go of the knife, using your strength and trying to ignore the sharp pain in your leg from the effort to push him to the ground beside you with your hand on his neck and your leg around his waist, lying on top of him with one leg on each side.

At that moment, as you tried to keep your arm over his neck and he tried to weaken you by hitting your sides, you heard Steve and Sam's voices again. A small panic ran through your body which was enough for the soldier to push your arm away, grabbing you by the neck with his metal arm and bringing a gun close to your face as he rose up, taking you with him, until he slammed you into a wall with great force.

You raised your hand between your bodies to move the tip of the gun, the shot falling a short distance above your head, your exorbitant eyes watching his furious expression. His metal hand closed tighter and tighter around your neck, your breath hitching, but you didn't relinquish your grip on the hand still holding the gun.

In the midst of the struggle, you brought your knee up to strike his crotch. The soldier jerked away, a whimper dying in his mouth as you moved toward him again, pushing his arm away as he pointed the gun at you again and the shot landed somewhere behind you again.

You hit him in the face with your own head, one of your hands holding his right arm with the gun and the other trying to keep his metal arm that held the knife dripping with your blood at bay. You hit him full in the nose again, but even though the blood was starting to drip down, the soldier didn't budge one bit.

“Go!” you shouted to Steve and Sam, the soldier averting his attention for a tiny moment before struggling against your grip again.

You had to break free somehow to get the card to Steve. Your body began to give way with the soldier's thrust, your boots sliding on the floor like it was marble. The soldier began to close his arms and you tried to match his strength, but the blood leaking from the wound in your leg was slowly weakening you. And it was a vibranium knife again.

Suddenly you noticed Steve running towards you, the fleeting glance costing you restraint, as the soldier raised your arms and turned you roughly, his back crashing against your chest and his metal hand burying in your chest the knife hard, moving it from side to side as he did that cold night in Siberia.

In the midst of the pain and weakness from the blood loss, you laid your head on his shoulder, the adrenaline slowly draining from your body.

“Bucky,” you whispered like a prayer, your strangled voice barely making its way out of your mouth and the soldier tensing behind you. The struggling stopped for a second.

Then his body heat disappeared. Steve must've reached and tackled the soldier without missing a beat.

“Hey, hey,” you heard Sam approaching you, kneeling beside you and taking your hand that wanted to pull the knife out of your chest. Right through the center, near the heart. That pain was no match for the disappointment that was tearing you apart inside. Maybe that time you could actually die. “Don't touch that.”

“Give the card to Steve…” you barely muttered breathlessly, one of your hands moving to pull the card out of one of your lower pants pockets. “Run.”

Sam hesitated for a few seconds, looking between your knife and the fight that was still picking up steam in the background, until he clicked his tongue and stood up.

“Don't take that knife out!”

You saw him run in the direction of Steve and the soldier, his metal wings rising in the midst of the struggle. Steve and Sam began to get the upper hand, and at some point, Steve took off in the direction of the helicarrier control center.

You dropped to the ground, watching helplessly as the soldier overpowered Sam, dislodging his wings with the force of his metal arm. The pain was too much, but Sam was completely helpless. No matter how much training he might've had, fighting the Winter Soldier was disproportionate.

So in a matter of seconds you stood up, grasping between gasps the handle of the knife and pulling it out of your chest without a second thought.

The electric current of pain that coursed through your body was unbearable, feeling as if the hollowness you constantly felt in your chest from emotions had suddenly materialized, a constant pang that coursed through you from head to toe at every microsecond, with every movement. Sam didn't even have time to react when you grabbed the soldier by the throat, burying the knife in his leg and trying to wave him off.

You could consider yourself well served if at that moment that was your death.

The soldier grabbed the arm around your neck and leaned forward, lifting you up and flipping you over onto your back, falling hard and painfully to the ground. You looked at the knife in his leg before looking at his face again. He had a couple of cuts, his expression still angry, but he seemed to hesitate as he pulled the knife out like it was nothing and watched you lying on the ground, completely at his mercy.

His hesitation brought unease to your chest.

“Bucky,” you called again, tears welling in your eyes.

The soldier only frowned, his anger momentarily fading until he seemed to remember something.

He turned to look at the control center. Before running off, he sent you another disgruntled look, just like that time on the road.

Whatever had happened after that, death or not, was extremely painful.

-

tag: @samodivaa @rubyxx16

[koyunsoncizeri]

A lil maedhros animation.

I...am also finally sharing a lil fic? Ficlet with Mae x Oc - angst and fluff. Under the cut!

I would be SO grateful if y'all would tell me what ya think :') !!! Especially my writing mutuals!! ♥️

Dove彡

"Don't go…" he softly whispered to the small figure lying next to him. "You don't have to go, little dove…"

She opened her eyes slowly. She'd been awake for sometime, she'd feigned sleep to feel his hand smooth over her hair, and caress her cheek, just to savor the warm feeling he radiated.

"I can't stay, elf lord." she said slowly. He glanced away when their eyes met. She smiled. There was something so innocent and childlike about this otherwise intimidating elf.

"Don't call me that…"he sighed, and turned to lie on his back. 

"I'm sorry…my lord." she grinned. He rolled his eyes but pulled her to his side. She pressed her body against his and rested her hand on his chest. 

"Why?" he asked after some time, but there was a defiance in his voice. He still saw this as an argument he could win…and convince her to stay. 

They'd met a week ago, when she asked for a sanctuary at their gates. It was apparent she was on the run for some time. He ordered them to open the gates and assist the human, which he later realized because she was tiny. The memory brought a smile to his lips and he turned his head to press a small kiss to her forehead. She opened her eyes, she was about to fall asleep in this elf's arms. She returned the loving gesture by kissing his neck, but a surprised gasp from him stopped her. Instead, she smiled gently at him, and assumed her former position.

"There is no life for me here,"she said. 

He fell silent.

He knew she was right, she would be better off living as far from him, and here as possible, and yet… he wanted her, selfishly, irresponsibly. He frowned, he felt bad to even entertain the idea; this was not like him at all.

"There can be," He chastised himself as soon as the words left his lips, what was he saying? How could he promise something like that, when he had naught to offer, not his affections, nor security.

"I'm sorry my lord…" She leaned to him on her elbows, his eyelids fluttered at the sudden proximity. He held his breath when she reached for him, placing her hand gently on his cheek. His lip was caught between his teeth and he fought so hard not to turn his eyes away from hers. She caressed his cheek, then her hand combed lightly through soft locks of his russet hair. He sighed softly, and closed his eyes. 

"I shall remember all that you have said, all that you have made me feel," she whispered, and pressed a soft kiss on his forehead, and he quickly opened his eyes. "I shall remember the quiet and kind laughter of yours and the soft touch of your hand."she kissed his cheek. "I shall cherish every moment you have kindly graced me with your presence, every glance you bestowed upon me." She cupped his face. "You shall forever remain in my heart, and I hope to be in yours at least for a while," she gently smiled, and wiped the tear that rolled down from his cheek when he tried to blink it away. She pressed her lips softly on his, and he welcomed her. He deepened the kiss as she let herself fall on her back and he followed her; covered her much smaller frame with his large one, trying to burn how good she felt under him into his memory. 

Next day came too soon, and with that last goodbye.

"Farewell, my little Dove. May winds always favor you."

[xxrainbowvibezxx]

Fluff ABC for Taleena

This was fun to do. Remember, I'm not a writer, and this is the first time I've ever written something like this. Enjoy❤️

A ctivities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?

Due to their duties, they don't always have free time, so they cherish every moment they get. Mileena enjoys hunting. Tanya goes with her to make sure nothing happens to her. Along the way, Mileena goes into detail about different hunting techniques for different animals. Tanya watches/ listens to her with a smile on her face.

In Tanya's free time, she likes to read and brush up on her light magic and Pyromancy. She'll tell Mileena about new techniques she wants to learn or is learning. Mileena sits back and encourages Tanya. Mileena is very proud of her when she perfects her technique.

B eauty - What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?

They love everything about each other.

Mileena admires Tanya's strong-willed, take shit from nobody, stoic attitude. She likes that Tanya takes down that facade when they're alone.

Tanya loves Mileena's confidence. She knows how strong Mileena is and defends her when people say otherwise. She sees strengths where people see weakness.

C omfort - How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?

Mileena deals with arguments from her mother and people doubting her. All that weight on her shoulders becomes overwhelming. Tanya knows Mileena well enough to know when she's upset. Tanya sits with her and embraces her. Letting Mileena cry and talk about what made her upset (if she wants to talk about it). Tanya just listens and rubs her back.

D reams - How do they picture their future with their s/o?

Both hope their future together is secure and whatever obstacle comes their way, they will overcome it together. Mileena pictures ruling Outworld together with Tanya. Eventually, start a family.

E qual - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?

Despite their different ranks, they see each other as equals. When they're together, titles don't matter.

F ight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?

Every good relationship has a few disagreements here and there. When they fight, Tanya usually apologizes first. Mileena can be stubborn sometimes. Depending on how big the fight was, they both realize their wrongs and forgive each other. They don't like being upset with each other for a long time. Especially if it's something small.

G ratitude - How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?

Both are grateful. Mileena acknowledges everything Tanya does for her. Protecting her, helping her with tarkat, and just overall being there for her when she needs her. She is forever happy that Tanya stayed by her side after she got tarkat. Tanya is grateful for Mileena's protectiveness as well. It's a mutual thing. They both fight for and protect each other.

H onesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?

Over the years, they've built a strong, deep connection. They tell each everything.

I nspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?

Mileena is very insecure about her tarkat. It's unpredictable. She feels isolated from her family sometimes. Tanya stuck with Mileena after she got sick. She didn't/ doesn't care if Mileena has tarkat. Tanya helps Mileena see beauty in her imperfections.

J ealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

Mileena has a jealous side. Mileena likes to down play her jealousy but eventually talks about it. I think most of her jealousy comes from people thinking Kitana deserves the throne more than her. She'll vent to Tanya about it.

I don't think Tanya gets jealous.

K iss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

Mileena, for sure, is 10,000 years old, I'm sure Tanya is around the same age. They have had years to perfect kissing. So when it comes to kissing, they're both good. Their first kiss was probably a quick peck on the lips after confessing their feelings. A short, quick kiss just because they were worried they'd get caught. They were both a little flustered and made a plan to secretly meet later.

L ove Confession - How would they confess to their s/o?

Their love Confession was a spur of the moment. Mileena can be impulsive, and sometimes, she doesn't know how to express her emotions. Tanya had feelings for Mileena for a while and felt guilty about them. Due to her umgadi vows, she felt like she was betraying her sisters and the gods. Mileena confesses first while they're alone. Tanya smiles and thinks for a moment. Thinking about the risks, the scandal, her vows, how all of that could bite her in the ass if they get caught. She decides to follow her heart and confess her feelings, too.

M arriage - Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?

Yes. They have a small proposal first in secret. They would wear the rings as necklaces, so people won't question it (the ring). Once Mileena becomes empress, she changes the umgadi rules so her and Tanya can be together freely. With rules changed, they have a bigger wedding.

N icknames - What do they call their s/o?

Mileena's nicknames for Tanya: Dearest, dear, my love

Tanya's nicknames for Mileena: beloved, my love, princess/ empress

O n Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?

When they first got together, they were both giddy on the inside. Due to the circumstances, they hid their relationship well. As time went on, they got a little loose with their flirting. Kitana, Sindel, and li Mei picked up on it first (in reality, everyone and their mother know). They both express their love through quality time and acts of service. Behind closed doors, they express their love through physical touch and words of affirmation.

P DA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?

No. Their relationship is secret.

Q uirk - Some random ability they have that’s beneficial in a relationship.

Both have the ability to change their schedule to see each other. Since Tanya is an umgadi leader, she has Khameleon fill in for her while she goes to see Mileena. Mileena can easily come up with a reason to have Tanya come to her. Any excuse, and no one questions it because Mileena is the princess/ heir. Although Kitana suspects there's something going on, because why has Mileena called for Tanya 6 times this week, and it's only Tuesday😒.

R omance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?

Mileena is a romantic. She loves buying little gifts for Tanya. She thinks Tanya deserves everything for what she does every day for the royal house. Tanya loves leaving little letters or notes with a flower in Mileena's room. Mileena saves each letter and sometimes writes her own. They take turns choosing the location of their dates. They go to hidden locations around Outworld and have a little picnic.

S upport - Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?

They support each other 100%. On top of keeping their relationship secret, Tanya also keeps Mileena's tarkat secret to ensure Mileena can claim the throne. Tanya believes in Mileena and continues to support her as she becomes empress.

T hrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?

They don't feel like they have to change or try anything new. Their comfortable with the current routine of their relationship.

U nderstanding - How good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?

As I said before, their relationship is built on a deep and strong connection. They've been together for thousands of years. They know each other inside out. They notice a change in each other's body language, eye contact, voice, and/or actions. They both notice small changes in each other's behavior.

V alue - How important is the relationship to them? What is it’s worth in comparison to other things in their life?

Very important. Both knew before their relationship that it was risky. They love each other so much. Their bond is so strong that they risk banishment or punishment to be together.

W ild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon.

They like going for walks and sparring together. When they go for walks, they get as far away from the palace as they can. Mileena makes up an excuse to her mother before she leaves. "I just want to test my skills against one of the strongest umgadis, mother." This will give Mileena and Tanya a couple of hours together. They'll actually spar for a bit, then take a break. Leaning against a tree or lying on the ground, talking about everything and nothing.

They love to hang out around the palace gardens at night

Tanya knows how to cook. She'll cook for her umgadi sisters and save some for Mileena. Mileena can't cook for shit. When she can, she'll watch Tanya cook or help her cut things.

X OXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?

Mileena is very affectionate. She loves lying in bed with Tanya and cuddling. Mileena is small spoon. She loves leaving kisses on Tanya's face and neck. Tanya loves holding Mileena in her arms after a long day. She caresses Mileena's side and kisses her shoulder and neck.

Y earning - How will they cope when they’re missing their partner?

They're used to not always being with each other. Even when they are together, they can't be like a couple. Tanya tends to her umgadi duties, and Mileena tends to imperial business. When they miss each other, they occupy themselves with their duties.

Z eal - Are they willing to go to great lenghts for the relationship? If so, what kind of?

Both are willing to go to great lengths. Tanya has made it clear plenty of times that she would give her life for Mileena. She would fight for her no matter the opponent. Tanya betrayed her vows to be with Mileena. That is a huge thing considering how important the umgadi is to Tanya. Mileena wants to change the umgadi rules once she's empress so that her and Tanya could have a normal relationship.

[kadextra]

Pomme’s Diary - Day 1 : The Beginning

Full transcription under the cut!

~~~~~~~

Once again, I woke up in this gloomy place. The silence was deafening. I felt so weak, and I felt pain due to the hunger. I don't think I would have survived another day. As I felt myself slowly slipping into unconsciousness again, I could hear voices in the distance. I haven't heard voices for a long time.

Voices. I heard them sometimes. Generally, these voices were just passing through and did not linger long, passing on their way very quickly. I had already lost all hope that one of them would come to help me. I don't think they knew I was there.

But this time, the voices seemed to come closer. More and more. Painfully, I opened my eyes. Through a hazy veil that prevented me from seeing distinctly, I discerned faces. Lots of different people there in front of me. Their voices blended and echoed. Who were they?

Quickly, I felt a new sensation come over me. A mixture of fear and panic, which I now know to be adrenaline. Listening only to my instincts, I ran out of this prison to the outside, looking for a hiding place to escape all this noise and these people who terrified me.

They ran after me as well, shouting at me to watch out for mines. But what are mines?

I looked up and for the first time saw the sky. Sunlight, a gentle comforting and soothing warmth.

Gradually, I came to my senses and I was able to see again. The voices had quieted down, seeming to understand that I was scared.

"Hello Pomme, do you like this name?" said a soft, soothing voice. I looked up at them. It's a very pretty name, indeed. I immediately liked it.

Gradually, people moved away to chat among themselves and there was only me and Baghera left. She seemed so kind, and she seemed to immediately understand my fears and wanted to protect me. From that moment, I knew she would be my mom.

A few minutes later, we met BadBoyHalo and Dapper. I must admit that Dapper scared me quite a bit, because he had a big scythe that was three times his size, and he was walking me around with a lasso. Having no idea how to react, I hid behind my mom Baghera.

Very quickly, Forever had joined us to escort us to the Favelas. On the way, Richarlyson had offered me iron armor to be better protected, and asked me lots of questions to get to know me. I asked him his name, and he told me I could call him Richas!

Once we arrived at the Favela, everyone was together again and it was very noisy and exhausting for me. Richas noticed it and took me to a quieter corner, and kept me company until I felt better. I knew right away that he was going to be my best friend.

As the days went by, I got to know this world that was completely new to me.

I enjoyed the freedom of being able to walk, run, eat delicious meals. Those who became my parents very quickly took care of me, giving me armor and weapons to defend myself if necessary. They had built me a small house of reinforced stone, so that I would be safe. And very quickly, I also learned to paint, to photograph and to write.

I still look back regularly and fondly on that day. It was the start of a whole lot of things. And it's funny to see how they have evolved.

From now on, Baghera, Forever and BadBoyHalo form an inseparable trio. Just like Richas, Dapper and me!

Even better: Dapper has become my big brother, I love and admire him a lot. He probably doesn't know, but he's helping me so much to overcome my anxiety and fears.

I feel so grateful for everything. I'm happy to be alive, and to have such great family and friends. I cherish every moment and every memory, and I hope we can have many more happy moments. <3

-End-

[drtyelvisfantasy]

Puppy Love🐶🩷

Parings: Austin Butler x reader

Summary: Austin surprises you with small little puppy for birthday and also decorates your house with balloons of your favourite colour and surprises you with flowers🩷💐

Song for the fic: Puppy Love- Paul Anka

🩷🐶🩷🐶

The sun was already beginning its ascent into the sky as the reader stirred awake, feeling the warmth of the morning light filtering through the curtains. It was your birthday, and you couldn't help but feel a flutter of anticipation in you chest. As you stretched, you noticed a little note on the bedside table, written in Austin's familiar handwriting.

"Good morning, beautiful! Get dressed and meet me downstairs. I have a surprise waiting for you. Love, Austin🩷."

A beaming smile spread across your face as you quickly got ready, curiosity dancing in your head. With your heart pounding, you ran downstairs, your steps light and filled with excitement.

As you stepped into the living room, you froze, your eyes widening in awe. Pink balloons floated in the air saying happy birthday, streamers adorned the walls, and twinkling fairy lights cast a soft, ethereal glow. The room was transformed into a dreamlike wonderland, and at the center of it all stood Austin, a grin playing on his lips.

"Austin, what's all this?" You asked, your voice filled with wonder.

Austin's eyes sparkled with mischief as he gestured toward a small box on the coffee table. "Happy birthday, my love. Open it."

Your hands trembled ever so slightly as she approached the box. She carefully lifted the lid, and her heart skipped a beat. Nestled inside, a tiny puppy with soft, fluffy fur and curious eyes stared up at her. It was love at first sight.

"Austin, you... you got me a puppy?" the reader whispered, tears of joy glistening in her eyes.

Austin nodded, his voice filled with love. "I know how much you've always wanted one, and I thought it was the perfect time to bring this little bundle of joy into our lives. Happy birthday, my love."

Overwhelmed with emotions, you scooped up the puppy into your arms, feeling its warmth against your chest. You showered the pup with gentle kisses, your heart swelling with love and gratitude for Austin's thoughtful surprise.

As you played with the puppy, Austin reached behind his back, revealing a bouquet of pink roses. Their delicate petals bloomed in an array of shades, releasing a sweet, captivating fragrance. He extended them towards you, his eyes filled with adoration.

"Because pink roses represent love and affection," Austin explained, his voice soft. "And I wanted to remind you of the love I feel for you every single day."

Tears streamed down your cheeks as you accepted the bouquet, feeling overwhelmed by the depth of Austin's love. You buried your face in the roses, inhaling their intoxicating scent, and turned to Austin, your voice filled with gratitude.

"Thank you, Austin. This is the most incredible birthday surprise I could have ever imagined. I'm so grateful for you."

Austin wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into a warm embrace. "You deserve every bit of love and happiness, my dear. I couldn't imagine my life without you, and I promise to cherish and love you, always."

They sat on the couch, the puppy nestled between the two of you, as you both spent the day reveling in each other's presence. Laughter filled the room, mingling with the sweet scent of roses, as you both created memories that would forever be etched inside your hearts forever.

As the day drew close to an end, you leaned your head against Austin's shoulder, with your fingers entwined with his. The puppy curled up your lap, finding comfort in your love. In that moment, the two of you realized the beauty of your connection, the immense joy you both found in each other's presence.

🩷🐶🩷🐶

[naoa-ao3]

Gold Day

SUMMARY: Natasha is finally free of the Red Room so what does she want to do? Clint helps her think of something.

The job is done and SHIELD has declared Natasha clear and trustworthy but as she and Clint arrive in the states she doesn't feel the sense of relief she thought she would.

In some ways she feels she's just moving from one government shadow agency to another but it's not the Red Room and that's what counts here. SHIELD fights the Red Room and if she can't be free then at least she can fight those that made her.

She takes that as the win.

"You know what you're going to do now?" Clint asks her as they leave their debriefing.

She thinks for a moment. "I suppose I'll just wait for my next orders." She said. "I'm sure they want to see what I can do."

Clint frowns. "They already know what you can do. I'm asking what you're going to do. What you want to do."

She was silent.

What did she want to do?

So many years in the Red Room, so many years that were not her own and now she was back in the U.S. and the only thing she could envision was her next mission.

"I don't know." She said.

He nodded, they were wearing civilian clothes. That should have made it easier, should have made the transition more smooth. Why didn't it?

"Well if you need company, it's not like I have anything planned." He said. "So what's the one thing you want to do that they didn't let you?"

But what did you want to do when you had been given nothing but orders and missions your whole life?

They were outside in the car lot, his car waiting, hers nonexistent.

Maybe she should by a car.

"I lived here once." She said quietly, the memories coming back in fragments, her brain afraid to absorb them. "In Ohio."

"You wanna go to Ohio?" He asked, raising his eyebrows as he leaned on his car window.

She shook her head.

There was nothing in Ohio for her.

"No."

"Then what do you want, Nat?" He asked, not opening the door.

"I want. . ." A cheeseburger was American but she had eaten those before, doing it now would just be something to fill her stomach. Was she supposed to visit the Grand Canyon or the Statue of Liberty? Was she supposed to go to Las Vegas and gamble or somewhere else?

"I got an idea." Clint said, motioning to her and she followed him into the car, sitting without feeling her body.

What did she want to do?

She wanted to prove herself but she already had, she wanted to clean her slate but that was probably impossible. What did you do when there were nothing but options?

"I got an idea." He said.

She looked at him. "We're not going on a road trip, are we?" She asked.

He shook his head. "Nah, nothing like that but I thought we could still go and find something to do."

She looked at him. Clint had given her this chance, Clint had seen something in her and helped her defect. She would be forever grateful to him, cherish him almost even if she didn't fully understand why he had done it.

"What do you have in mind?"

He shrugged defensively. "Nothing fancy." He muttered. "I mean we're in Kansas."

They were. The SHIELD base outside of Topeka looked like a small aircraft hanger but the real action was was underground.

"But I bet there's something we could do." He said. "Let's go for a drive. Put the top down."

"You're going to have to get a coverable for that." She said.

"It's a metaphor." He grunted, starting the ignition and backing out of the space. "And anyway, we're in the Heartland. There's plenty to see."

She sat back and let him take the lead, curious about where he would lead her to. Clint had ideas and he was the first person she had ever met that she could call a friend. Sure she had had sisters and comrades in the Red Room. . . some had even come close to being friends but Clint was more than that. He was the first person to ever give her a chance, to ever trust her and she in return had learned to trust him.

They had taken down the Red Room together.

Ended her pain together.

Well. . . not ended but they had started a new life together. Clint was one of the finest people she had ever known. One of the best and certainly the best archer and she had known some damn good archers in the Red Room but it was his heart that had reached her. His willingness to give her a chance.

"Show me your heartland." She said, sitting back and bracing herself for the world to come.

This was her start, her new life. No more Spiders, no more Dreykov, no more widows. No more orphans. Just shields and new missions and she had to close her eyes to convince herself that things had changed.

When she was with Clint she could open them.

He drove her through corn fields and under open skies.

"What about this?" He asked. "Nobody around in a suit for miles."

She smiled. It was nice, he was nice for doing it.

He was a friend, a real friend.

"It's nice." She said, sitting back in her seat. It was nice to have someone else driving for a change.

He nodded. "You can do anything you want now, Natasha."

But that wasn't exactly true, was it? She had traded the Red Room for SHIELD. That wasn't real freedom. It was one yoke for another.

Still, he was giving her the chance and she looked at him, wondering if he really understood all that he was giving her, all that he was to her.

He was watching her too, smiling faintly before putting his eyes back on the road.

"I want you to keep driving for a bit then." She said, looking up at the sky.

He nodded, apparently pleased and they drove for a very long time, white clouds over head and gold corn all around.

Today wasn't a red day. Today was a gold day and she thanked him for it.

When they pulled back up at the base and returned the car she smiled at him again. "Thank you, Clint."

He winked. "No problem. Sometimes just driving clears the head."

She still didn't know necessarily what she wanted to do but she believed him now. She could do nearly anything. Just nearly and she had Clint with her. With him along, she had the best shot she ever would.

He had given her this new life and this golden day.

[ohmthipakorn]

MINT MY ONE AND ONLY HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART 💝💖💓💗💝💞💓💗💝💞🎂🥳🎉 I wish you to be healthy and happy, i hope beautiful beautiful things come your way, that you spend plenty of meaningful heartwarming moments with your loved ones, that people who come into your life appreciate you and treat you right <3 i hope you feel big and small happiness alike, that you find joy in the subtlest of sources 😊 be it silly shows, complex books, great paintings, quick doodles, grass breaking through two tiles on the street, the way someone's dress flows, the vibrant colour of buildings during sunset; see beauty the way you bring beauty - constantly and effortlessly 🩷

you're so kind and smart and fun, i wish when you have to meet the harsher parts of life that you handle them with grace and the attitude of a fighter, that you learn and evolve, that you heal with more ease each time 🌱 hope you laugh lots till your tummy's sore and smile brightly till your cheeks are too 😁

happy bday mint, have a great one 🥰💖

side note: I've been thinking bout your birthday recently and unsuccessfully searching for that one post I saw back when we started talking where you mentioned the date, I kept wondering whether it's a week after mine or at the end of the month so I apologise for not figuring it out on time <3

PETRI OH MY GOODNESS....... i had this sitting in my inbox all day bc i was just overwhelmed by the amount of care and detail that was put into this message, i will truly treasure it forever. i am so so grateful to have met a friend like you through our silly little bl posts, i'm happy to hype up all your amazing creations and listen to anything you want to ramble to me about — even when i don't always have the words to reply, your takes are always fascinating and fun to read. i don't know what i ever did to deserve such a lovely message in my askbox and to be seen in such a loving and beautiful way. [a million hearts and kisses to you!!!]

(also DID I MISS YOUR BIRTHDAY???? now i can never leave this website for long, i'm missing such IMPORTANT EVENTS. if i did miss it, i'm so sorry and happy belated birthday. i hope you had a beautiful day — as beautiful as this message was and as our friendship that i cherish so so much is!!!)

[peteyprecious616]

As the years go by

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader

Summary: He was in love with you, his best friend and over the years that love grew. But so did you. Did he really think that he would be your number one thought forever?

Word count: ~1.9K

A/N: Wrote this for my bestie. More peter fic...whats new?

Warnings: none :) maybe a little angst; just some high school to college peter fluff

From the beginning it was her.

Only her

His best friend, his inspiration, his role model, his #1 fan… his girl.

—-

It wasn’t a secret to anyone that he loved and cared for her. He cherished the moments that he was somehow given to be next to her, to be someone that is considered close to her.

He didn’t know how this friendship happened. Was it just circumstance that her family happened to have moved into his neighborhood freshman year of high school? probably. But did it feel like that to Peter?

No.

It felt like a dream.

Awkward small talks walking to school grew from accidental to a need to Peter.

Yes, they just happen to have the same walk to school, happen to be in the same science class as her, so why not let her go from asking about the homework in the summer, to rambling on about the teacher’s incessant need to give you a project just before winter break…

“Ugh, why can’t he just leave it be Peter? It’s a break for a reason, you know?” she says as her gloved hands fly up to her face, covering it. Letting out a huge sigh, showing her frustration.

“You know we could work on it together? I don’t mind.” Her head shot up in delight. Her eyes met his. She was eternally grateful for all his help this semester.

He was eternally grateful she let him. He just wanted to her eyes shimmer like that again the next time she smiled.

What a sight to see.

So would he have been fine with the awkward silent walks?

yes.

But he preferred this more. And now that he has this. He will never let them go.

—-

Freshman year blossomed into Sophomore year. It grew from science study buddies to after-school coffee grabs.

It was a routine…no it was an opportunity, a moment every day where he got to be with her. He cherished it.

She laughs at the jokes that he knew weren’t funny but to her were hilarious.

“Peter! look what you did.” Her breath still heavy from her laughter from his joke about the new movie they just watched, he looks at her hands pointing to the table, specifically her mug, a rim of coffee around the bottom, little drops coming from the sides, as she hung onto it while he was telling the joke.

Her mistake. She should have known better. He had the best jokes.

“I'll be right back.” Her smile never faded as she turns to get napkins from the table across the coffee shop.

He sees her grabbing a couple, then seeing the barista talk to her.

He didn’t mean to listen in but it's too hard. I mean come on. Those spidey senses don’t just come and go.

He hears her commenting on how much her laughs and smiles make her day. Makes everyone's day in the coffee shop.

She turns around and looks at him, her smile is a magnet. Pulling his lips in a similar way to hers. It’s an addiction.

It’s an addiction that he will never quit.

—-

“Oh my gosh, Peter these look amazing!” Her one hand holding the school newspaper. The other hand grabbed his arm in amazement.

Her hand grabbed his arm…He’s so lucky.

Junior Year. Last edition of the school newspaper before summer hits.

“Do you think they turned out well? I thought that the club deserved some recognition for how they helped the school.” He shrugs. Waiting for her eyes to meet his.

Then it hits.

Her eyes are just filled with love. amazement. She’s so proud of him.

And the butterflies just erupt in his stomach.

But he never moves.

He can’t. He’s frozen.

“…you’re so good Peter. Your pictures are amazing…” He looks down as he notices.

Her hand is wrapped in his.

“…you’re amazing Peter. The school is lucky to have you and your big heart. I know I'm lucky.” Her lips turn into a soft, small smile.

—-

His small gazes of amazement become harder and harder to hide every day.

Every day she does this one thing. One amazing thing that just makes him think.

She’s so beautiful.

Her energy, her presence is a craving to him that will never, ever go away.

He hopes it never does.

It’s not the same energy he feels at the annual senior night football game.

A shoulder tap pulls him from his gaze.

“Hey Peter, Alex, and I are going to go find a good seat in the stands; do you want to join after you get the shots?” Her face shows a hopeful plea.

“Sure. Just give me a few minutes.” He puts on a smile for her. She believes it.

“Okay! I’ll save you a seat.” Her giddiness turns around from him as she walks to the stands with her hand in Alex’s.

That energy will never fade. Even if her energy, her happiness is also in someone else’s hands.

—-

“Thanks for saving my seat.” As he throws himself into the seat next to her. Amazingly, their last names start with the same letter.

He’s adjusting his cap and gown as they start with naming off the students in order.

“No problem. Where were you anyway? You missed flash’s speech.” Her face never turns as she mimics the clapping crowd. Her mouth moved slightly to the side, whispering to him.

He looks at her. He just notices.

Wow, red is a beautiful color on her.

“I forgot my cap in the car. Thought I had it all. Flash probably spoke something related to football, didn't he.” He looks at her as he fixes his tassel to the correct side. His breathing slowly came down as he ran from his car.

“Well, I thought he made a nice speech Pete. Got me excited for the football season we won’t see next year.” She smiles as her head turns. Her hands never stop clapping. Her eyes met his. Her smile now a small smirk.

“Well, I know Flash will be here for every single one of them. Considering he will be the assistant coach next fall. Why not brag a little.” He smirks at her. They stare at each other for a while. The claps fade to small clouded background noise.

Hearing the small cheers from parents for their children. The principal told the class about how grateful they are that he got to send this class into their future endeavors.

They instinctively threw their hats in the air.

You think that slow-motion only happens in the movies. But Peter knew that statement was wrong.

He saw her in slow motion every day. And he grasped onto every second of her slow-growing smile at him as hard as he could.

She always pulls him back though.

As her arms wrap around his neck tightly with glee. His wrap around her waist.

“We did it, Peter!”

Yes, we did. Now onto the rest of their lives.

Together.

He hopes.

—-

Weekend drives to see each other turn into weekly phone calls.

Talks about seeing each other next turn into

“Sorry, Pete! Alex wanted to go see a movie tonight. Do you think I could call you tomorrow morning? oh my gosh, you’re the best. Love you.”

It's okay though. He tells himself.

She’s happy.

But what happened to tomorrow morning?

—--

A knock on his apartment door pulls him from his uncomfortable position on his bed. He knew he shouldn’t have laid on his bed with his suit torn. The blood was going to stain the sheets.

The knock repeated as he heard a small voice “hello? Peter are you there?”

It couldn’t be.

He forgets he even has the suit on as he rushes to her voice. He looks out the peephole of his apartment door. Then he sees her.

He couldn’t believe it.

It’s been three years.

He pulls open the door was haste. She jumps in surprise at the sudden movement.

They make eye contact.

They don’t know what to say. Everything from their mind just leaves.

Then he sees her eyes. Her beautiful eyes trail up and down his body.

“Oh my gosh, Peter, are you okay?!” She tries to come closer but he gently puts it out in front of her.

His lips go from shock to a frown.

It’s been almost three years.

“Why are you here?”

She looks at him in surprise. Now a small kind of pain went through her. She knew why he was a little hesitant. A little bitter. She deserved that.

“I just wanted to check on you. See how you’re holding up.” She says as she can’t look him in the eye. For multiple reasons.

He stares at the top of her head.

“Well, you’re three years too late to be able to ask that question.” He walks away from the door. Silently giving her permission to come in.

Even if he is mad at her. He still wants her. He could never hate her.

She silently shuts the door behind her hesitantly.

“I know I should have reached out. Or even looked up to see some webs hanging around the city. But to be fair you didn’t make an effort either.”

He stands far enough away to where she can’t make him vulnerable. He knows her well enough.

He needs to make a point. She hurt him.

His lips frowning to the point of no return, “you know I tried a lot more than you.”

Her face turns red. Almost sinister. That wasn’t something he shouldn’t have said and he knew that.

“Well, sometimes I got busy okay. I had to move into college, start classes, make new friends, get a job! did you think I could spend all my time driving to meet you?”

“I thought you would at least shoot me a text once in a while.” He mumbled.

She looks him in the eye, “I don’t know how to say sorry to you enough Peter, but I am sorry for not trying. But I am not sorry for living my life. Trying to grow and meet new people. I will never apologize for that.”

He knows she’s sorry, but it still hurts. Knowing that they could have just tried a little harder.

“And you don’t have to. I know how important college was to you. I won’t hold you back from that.” He sighed.

There wasn’t anything else to say. They said what they needed to. But that awkward tension was still lingering through the air.

Unshed tears are hanging in their eyes.

“I missed you.” She sobs.

He sees those tears running down her face. And now he knows.

He still loved her. He still cared for her.

He sees her running to him. He catches her in his arms. He groans in relief and pain. But he didn’t care when he felt her tears running down his torn suit. Her face against his chest. His arm wraps around her waist as the other hand cups the back of her head.

“I missed you too. So much.”

He did miss her so much. He was his girl. His best friend. Even when someone else had her. When the world held her love.

He always held hers.

[beels-burger-babe]

Melodious Mourning

***Ben Platt?! Hell yes! Okay! I am so so excited about this! Thank you so much @ester-is-here for reminding me how much I love this song. I hope everyone enjoys it. You can listen to the song, if you haven't already, here. Disclaimer: In Case You Don't Live Forever and its lyrics do not belong to me. They belong to the brilliant Ben Platt*** Poly!MC Summary: It's MC's anniversary of their relationship with the Lords of the Devildom. They've planned a little something special to share with them; something that will express how much they love the brothers, while also preparing them for a tragic truth. The time had come. After a long night of celebrating your anniversary with the seven sins, it was time for you to finally show them the surprise you had prepared for them. You giggled as you dragged a tired Belphegor into the music room by his hand, the others following closely behind you. Asmodeus made a small noise of disappointment and leaned against the grand piano in the middle of the room. "You know when you said you had a surprise for us, I must admit this wasn't exactly what I had in mind, " you snorted as Satan smacked Asmo on the back of the head. Asmo yelped and held his head as he glared at Satan. "Though I'm sure that whatever this surprise it will be equally as lovely. Geez, let me finish before you ruin my hair!" Mammon came up beside you. "But what is this surprise though? Is it a diamond? Money? Jewelry? That lost treasure that we never found?" You smiled softly at the Avatar of Greed and poked his nose. "It's better than that. Or at least I hope it will be," You sat down at the piano and took some sheet music out of your bag. "I um...I wanted to sing a song for all of you," you nervously tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. "With our anniversary being today, I've been thinking a lot about us and all the time that's passed and the what the future will hold, and I-I just thought that this song would be the perfect way to express all of that."

Lucifer placed a hand on the small of your back as he looked down at you with an awe-filled, adoring expression. "I wasn't aware you could play. I would've loved to play with you sometime." You leaned up and pressed a kiss to his lips. "There will be time for that in the future. For now, it's time for your surprise," you hovered your fingers over the keys and hesitated. The song the message shared was important but would be hard for your lovers to hear. You glanced over at them. "J-Just listen, please. Okay?" Beel frowned at the serious look on your face and nodded. He could sense that there was something important about this performance, something almost dire, that clearly frightened you. "Of course." You took in a shaky breath as you began to move your finger across the keys.

"You put all your faith in my dreams. You gave me the world that I wanted. What did I do to deserve you?" Your smooth voice filled the room and wrapped around the hearts of each of the demons. They smiled gently at your words as a warmth filled their chests. In the years that they were fortunate enough to have you in their lives, they had spent every last second doing their best to keep you happy. They would give you the world if you asked for it, and you knew that. "I follow your steps with my feet. I walk on the road that you started. I need you to know that I heard you. Every word." Since coming here, the brothers have shown you a number of things. Lucifer taught you to be more confident and take pride in the things that you've achieved. Mammon taught you that it was okay to be selfish sometimes to do the things that you wanted. Together, you and Leviathan learned that the only opinion that truly matters is your own. Satan taught you that you define your own fate and meaning and that no one can say who you are except you. Asmodeus taught you to appreciate the pleasures in life, no matter how big or small. Beelzebub engrained in you that your body is a temple that you must cherish, look after, and love. And finally, Belphegore taught you that it's alright to take time for yourself. Each of them had impacted you and fundamentally changed the way that you looked at life, and you would never be able to thank them enough for that. "I've waited way too long to say. Everything you mean to me," you swallowed down the lump that was beginning to form in your throat. You had waited too long to tell them this, that much was true. By now they were irreversibly attached to you. Though you were grateful for it and loved them in return, there was something all of you had been avoiding discussing. You took in a shaky breath; you couldn't hold it off anymore. "In case I don't live forever let me tell you now," You could hear their breaths get caught in their throats. Lucifer's hand froze on your back, while Belphie quickly sat up from where he was laying on your shoulder. "MC, what are y-you saying? What are you-" Levi's voice stuttered from behind you. You couldn't bring yourself to look at them as you continued, "I love you more than you'll wrap your head around," you finally glanced over at Levi. The otaku's eyes were wide and filled with fear and concern as he scanned you for any missed injuries or signs of illness. At finding none, his eyebrows narrowed in confusion. You offered him a reassuring smile before looking back down at the keys. "In case I don't live forever, let me tell you the truth. I'm everything that I am because of you." Satan's trembling hand gripped onto your shoulder as he placed a kiss on the top of your head. "MC, my love, that is beautiful. But you can't just say something like that and not expect us to be concerned. Are you alright? Should I be getting a doctor or Barbatos or do I need to take you to a human hospital?" You paused for a moment to turn to your lovers. "I'm okay. There's nothing wrong with me, only that I'm human," you watched as they tensed in realization. "Treasure, that's not-" Mammon stepped forward, but you lifted a hand to stop him. "I've been thinking about the passing of time a lot lately, a-a-and I need to say this. Please, just let me finish?" The sound of your voice close to tears had the brothers wanting to do nothing more than wrap you up in their arms and never let you go again. But there was this desperate glint in your eyes, that none of them could deny. Belphie laid his head back down on your shoulder and buried his face into the fabric of your top. "Go ahead, angel. We're listening." You turned your head to lightly kissed his head, whispering a small thank you, before picking back up the song.

The music filled the room once more, but unlike before where it filled your lovers with joy at the thought of such a sentimental gift, a feeling of dread and unease now swirled in their stomachs. "I've carried this song in my mind. Listen it's echoing in me. But I never helped you to hear it." Your mortality was something that had weighed on your thoughts for years now. You never mentioned it for you knew that the brothers would just brush off the subject. They had lost so much already; they didn't even want to begin thinking about the day when you would no longer be with them. But with each passing year, the subject had become more and more crucial, yet you were still too much of a coward to bring such a distressing topic to light. You had hoped the song would lighten the blow, but based on the way Mammon's eyes were squeezed shut and his fists were pressed to his mouth, as though whispering a prayer, it hadn't. Tears pricked your eyes at the sight as you felt your throat tighten. "We, we've only got so much time. I'm pretty sure it would kill me if you didn't know that pieces of me were pieces of you." It was true. You carried the boys with you where ever you went, both literally through your pacts and figuratively through the pieces of their personalities that you have mirrored throughout the years. You often find yourself mimicking Lucifer's eye-brow raise when someone is acting particularly stupid. The sight of food or beautiful clothes causes your heart to thrumb with excitement, just like it does for Beel and Asmo. You have a deeper appreciation for anime and astrology from your many nights with Levi and Belphie. You're more knowledgeable and educated in literature from your countless hours in the library with Satan. You were more conscious with your money after your few attempts of trying to teach Mammon how to budget. You were one with your boys; a beautiful collage of the experiences and times that you had all spent together. You just hoped that they knew that. "I've waited way too long to say. Everything you mean to me." Asmodeus claimed your other side, as one of his hands moved up to delicately wipe a tear from your face. You noticed, with an aching heart, that his cheeks were tearstained as well. Your lip trembled as you opened your mouth to sing the chorus. "In case I don't live forever let me tell you now. I love you more than you'll ever wrap your head around. In case I don't live forever, let me tell you the truth. I'm everything that I am because of you." At this point, you weren't singing so much as you were sobbing. You could feel your hands tremble heavily as you pushed them to keep playing. The only thing keeping you from breaking down completely was the solid feeling of the brother's touch supporting you as they lent you their strength. You squeezed your eyes shut and played hard on the keys, causing the brothers to jump a little as you began to belt. "I have a hero if ever I need one!" Flashes of the countless times that they had come to your rescue flashed in your mind. Unknown to you, the brothers weren't thinking of them rescuing you at all, but rather how you had saved each and every one of them. "I just look up to you and I see one! I'm a man 'cause you taught me to be one," your voice quivered with emotion as you held the falsetto note at the end. You leaned over the keys, suppressed cries falling from your lips as your shoulders shook. Beel placed a hand over top of one of your own and met your gaze. "You don't have to finish this MC. We understand what you're trying to say and we can just end the song here and talk if you want." It was tempting. Honestly, your hands our practically useless with how much they were shaking. But this wasn't just for them anymore. Speaking the words that had been swarming your mind for too many years out loud, although painful, also freed you from a sense of guilt that you weren't even aware that you were carrying. "I-I'd like to finish it. I-If you all don't mind." Belphie's arms came to wrap around your waist and Asmo

pressed a kiss to your cheek. Lucifer's hand on your back moved in comforting circles, while Satan repeated the motion with his thumb on your shoulder. Levi moved closer to lean onto the piano for support. Mammon gave you a tearful smile as Beel lifted his hand off of yours. "Of course. Take your time, honey bun." You took several deep breaths to calm yourself before lightly playing the chords. You met the eyes of your partners and hoped that they could see the utter adoration and passion that was flooding through your veins for them. "In case you don't live forever let me tell you now," you playfully elbowed Belphie and turned your head to kiss Asmo's cheek. "I love you more than you'll ever wrap your head around." As the music picked up the tempo once more, you couldn't help but grin even as tears poured down your cheeks. "In case you don't live forever, let me tell you the truth. I'm everything that I am-" You closed your eyes, tilting your head back, as you allowed yourself to give in to the music and fully feel everything that you had been suppressing. "Woah, Woah, Woah. " As you began to sing the melody again, your eyes snapped open as you heard the brothers harmonize alongside you. Lucifer, Satan and Beel's low voices rang deep like the growl of thunder. Asmodeus and Belphie hit the higher octaves, chiming like bells ringing in the wind. Mammon and Levi sang the original notes with you, remaining strong and pure like waves against a shore. You laughed brightly as a radiant sensation of love blanketed you in warmth and soaked up any traces of fear that lingered. "In case I don't live forever, let me tell you the truth." You looked around at the brothers tenderly and softly played the final notes. They all smiled back at you, eyes gleaming with that same sense of passionate affection that you had felt moments earlier. Your heart fluttered in your chest as you came to a realization. No matter how much or little time you had left with each other, you would spend every moment of it at each other's side loving another unconditionally. "As long as I'm here as I am," you rested your head on top of Belphie's and smiled softly, "so are you." *** This was so sweet and sad at the same time and I just LOVED writing it! Oh my goodness, I haven't written a song fic in ages, so this was a little challenging, but I just loved it so much. Thank you @ester-is-here for this beautiful request!*** TAGLIST: @thegrimgrinningghost

@henry-and-the-seven-lords

@satans-beloved-riv

@cosmixbun

@sufzku

[spencestyles]

Love Letters

summary: the one where spencer and y/n have similar vows at their wedding reception

pairing: spencer x BAU!Fem!reader

warnings: fluff, daddy issue shaming (if you really squint it’s more of a joke), suggestive content (lowkey)

words: 1k+

enjoy!!!! i really like this one!!!

"I've been writing y/n letters ever since our first date," Spencer began, reciting his speech he had been practicing for months for your wedding reception. "It started as a way for her to know that I cared about her. Then it was our secret way to communicate around the team. Then it became just our thing. I always wrote her a letter, on special occasions, after a tough case, when I thought her hair looked nice. They could have been the simplest letter. I think one even said I like the color you painted your nails. Any way for me to tell her I loved her no matter how big or small."

You had a small tear down your cheek as you looked at your now husband.

"I also have a diary that I write in especially a few years ago, less now that I have y/n," Spencer laughed. "But I found this one entry that I think is important I share with everyone.

Dear Diary,

Today a new agent joined the team. Her name is y/n and she is a few years younger than me. She is very smart, but doesn't like to flaunt it. On the jet earlier, she listened to my facts. Actually listened. And she was interested in my facts. She was the first one to realize the unsub was a woman and not a man. No one could have realized it until she noticed the unsub was going after people she wished to be. I really like her, and I know my therapist says not to trust people so easily, but y/n is different. I genuinely laughed today. Everything about her is perfect. She has the brightest smile and eyes like the ocean. Maybe I'll try to ask her out, but I don't think I'm her type. She was really friendly with Hotch, maybe shes into older guys.”

“WHAT?!” you screamed, eyes bludgeoned. “No hate Arron, but what Spencer?”

“Okay continuing, I'm still going to become friends with her. I think we will be really good friends.

So obviously I was very unsure about if this day would ever happen. If me now told me then I was getting married to y/n I probably would have asked if I drugged her, but no I didn't. I love you y/n Reid." Everyone clapped for Spencer and now it was your turn to speak, you and Spencer decided on doing small speeches during the reception instead of doing long vows.

Spencer handed you the microphone signalling for your speech to begin, "As Spencer earlier said Spencer wrote me a lot of love letters. I mean a lot. I think Spencer thought I threw them out, but I have kept every one since the first time he wrote one. When I counted I think there was well over 600. It hit 600 and I stopped counting. So I decided today would be the perfect time to share some of my favorites.

Dear y/n,

I can't believe you agreed to go on a date with me. I will pick you up at seven, wear something nice. You'll look gorgeous in anything. After dinner I was thinking we could watch Star Trek at my apartment, let me know your thoughts. I think it is smart of us to keep this a secret from the team, at least until things become serious.

Yours truly,

Spencer

Dear y/n,

Today marks three months of dating behind the teams back. I can't believe they haven't figured it out. Some profilers they are. The past three months have been the best three months of my life. I can't wait to see how beautiful you look at Rossi's tonight, hopefully I won't blow our cover.

Always and forever,

Spencer

Dear y/n,

The past six months with you have been amazing. I will never be more grateful than right now, you're finally going to move in with me. I know when I asked you two months ago you were nervous, but now I think it may be time to tell the team about us. They're our family and they deserve to know. Tell me what you think about tonight, I'll pick you up at seven. Wear that one low cut dress I love on you.

Always and forever,

Spencer

Dear y/n,

I can't believe we finally told the team and I can't believed they had bets. Now I can kiss you, hug you, and love you all the time. Also you don't have to wake up early to cover your neck, I want them to know you're mine. I can't wait to stop having to room with Derek on cases, it got annoying when he'd keep asking me if I ever got laid. I want you to come with me to Las Vegas on our next break. You can meet my mom, she already knows about you.

Always and forever,

Spencer

Dear y/n,

You scared me during yesterdays case. I thought I lost you. I know we can't mix relationships and work, but seeing you bleed like that scared me. Meet me at the park we had out first date at tonight at six. I want to talk.

Always and forever,

Spencer

Dear y/n,

I can't believe we're finally engaged. I've spent the last year and a half loving you and the past five years being your best friend. I can't wait for forever.

I love you,

Spencer

These ones are obviously from the most important moments in our relationship and I will forever cherish these letters. Spencer Reid I love you so much. Here is to official always and forever." You looked over at Spencer who was smiling with teary eyes. He was shocked you kept all the letters. Spencer engulfed you into a hug.

"Always and forever."

[whosscruffylooking]

The Purest Things: Wingmen (Aaron Hotchner x Female BAU! Reader)

this is based on season 10 episode 10 “amelia porter”

Warnings: None. Pure Fluff.

A/N: I am so beyond obsessed with the mutual pining. Initially, this was going to be one part, but I have to slow burn the heck out of this, so it'll be a few parts. Enjoy!

The Purest Things Masterlist

august 2014

Bookend: "You meet thousands of people and none of them really touch you. And then you meet one person and your life is changed forever." – Love & Other Drugs

I walk into the jazz club, searching for Rossi. For the past year and a half, we have frequented this classy establishment, bonding over our shared passion for jazz and fine liquor. We come here every Friday unless the job keeps us away. It's a form of escapism that I have grown to cherish deeply. With a job like ours, finding something to look forward to each week, some semblance of a routine is crucial.

I stroll over to “our” booth, but instead of seeing David’s familiar face, it's that of the Unit Cheif. I throw my head back and laugh, “Of all the people I could have expected to see here...you were not one of them.”

Don't get me wrong; I'm not upset to find him here. I could never get enough of him. I see him nearly every day of the week, I have weekly movie nights with Jack, and Aaron and I have been to hell and back with each other over the years.

He shakes his head and smirks, “What can I say? I'm full of surprises.”

“So tell me Aaron Hotchner, to what do I owe the pleasure of your company this evening?”

“David Rossi, ” he emphasizes.

“So you’ve been recruited as one of his wingmen too huh?”

“Apparently so.”

“Well I'm glad you're here.” I slide into the booth next to him.

He glides his cup in circles along the tablecloth, “Me too.”

“May I pry?” I inquire.

He nods, “You may.”

“Why exactly are you here? Believe me, I'm thrilled you're joining us, but David and I have been coming here for over a year. Why'd he invite you now?”

His shoulders tense up, and then he inhales deeply, the tension releasing when he exhales.

“If I'm being completely honest, I think it has something to do with the fact that Beth and I are no longer together.”

“Oh my God, Hotch. I'm so sorry, I didn't know.”

Aaron looks up at me; the professional man, the profiler I'm so familiar with, is gone. Instead, he looks at me with the eyes of a vulnerable man, someone who loves so passionately and craves that same love in return. This isn't the first time he's looked at me with those eyes, and I pray that it is not the last time. If it were anyone else, the prolonged eye contact would deter me; my glance would dart in the other direction. But, for years, I have savored these intimate moments with him. I'm not exactly sure when this connection began or when it deepened to the awareness we now have of one another.

Most likely, it began shortly after Haley’s death, when I started to spend more time with Jack or those late nights working in the office with him. Maybe it was that time I brought him his favorite coffee and bagel to his house because I knew he wouldn’t feed himself otherwise.

(Aaron’s P.O.V.)

I gaze at her with utmost fascination. She is a mystery I have never been able to solve, a profile I cannot complete. She is whole, a pillar of strength for our team, her family, me, and Jack. Yet, there is a fear within her that mimics a young child scared of the monsters that are both imagined and real. She’s seen and experienced things that no one her age should have to witness. I can see through the worn expression on her face. She’s holding herself together for the sake of everyone around her, but inside she’s slowly falling apart. All I want is to help mend those crumbling pieces and hold her together. She doesn’t realize that she has been doing that very thing for me for the past four years.

In my life, I have had the opportunity to love deeply and freely. But two of those loves stand in realms of their own. The first time I fell in love, it was with an opposite. A precious, symbolic tale of love and loss.

With Beth, I did love her. She gave me the strength to feel something again after Haley died. I found the ability to move forward with hope and recognition that I deserve happiness once again.

The second great love came in the form of a mirror. We share an empathy, an understanding of the fundementals of life and love that shapes our individual values. I was far from perfect when we met; I was detached, damaged, and hopeless. I felt like I was barely a man. Truth be told, I won’t be perfect after the fact either. But, she gives me a sense of realness that I never perceived as possible. And since the day we met before I even accepted the actuality of my affections for her, I strove to better myself. Every day since, and for the rest of my life, I want to work every day to be the man she deserves and needs.

Awakening from my trance, I speak up, “I am grateful every day for the relationship I had with Beth. I truly did love her. I love her still for the person she helped me become. I realized, through her, that I can choose to move forward with my life.”

“You deserve to be happy, Aaron,” she interjects.

“Some time ago, Rossi came into my office encouraging me to start dating again. He reminded me that Haley wouldn’t want me to avoid moving on. Of course, my immediate instinct was to deny that I was guilty of just that. But he was right. He told me that I am no good to anyone when I’m miserable.”

She throws her head back and laughs, “Miserable? No, I wouldn’t call you that. Slightly uptight? Absolutely.”

I gasp, exaggerating a look of offense, “I’m hurt.”

She touches my arm, and I can feel my heart stop for a beat. Something about her touch elevated my heart and soul to another plain. It’s as if her small hand on my forearm revealed the certainty I had been searching for.

I chuckle, “Don’t worry. David and I came to the same conclusion.”

“Phew,” she breathes out a sigh of relief, “Good because I didn’t know how I was going to dig myself out of that hole....but please, continue what you were saying.”

I take a deep breath, “When you and I met I had already lost my entire world. Haley had just recently taken Jack, we were fighting constantly, and then...” I feel my eyes beginning to sting, and I realize that she hasn’t taken her grip off my arm once she squeezes it reassuringly.

“When Haley died, it felt like I was staring into an abyss. After the funeral, you found me alone, in some room that I had escaped to for some solace. But I didn’t feel any relief. And then, you came in. You sat across from me, and we just sat in silence. Somehow though, more was said in that silence than I had ever dared to utter out loud to someone. You didn’t know it then, but you saved me that day. You saved Jack too.”

I hear her short intake of breath and look over to see her lip beginning to tremble.

“Aaron...”

As much as I want to hear her melodic voice speak to me now, when I am most unarmed, a feeling that is entirely foreign to me, I have never felt so driven to yell from the top of my lungs a profession of love for this woman.

I begin to speak again, and I am immediately interrupted by Rossi, accompanied by the jazz singer hooked on his arm.

“La mia bella ragazza! Finalmente sei arrivato,” he says, kissing the top of her head. She blushes slightly, her eyes flickering to me briefly.

“You are a sight for sore eyes my dear. Is she not Aaron?”

I take a sip of my drink, glancing at y/n, her beautiful y/e/c sparkling back at me. How can anyone put into words just how beautiful she is?

I nod, “She is indeed.”

I’m suddenly made aware of the absence of her touch on my arm. How can someone’s touch both simultaneously have such a stronghold on you and also set you free? Regardless of the reason, I long to savor that feeling once again.

“Well,” she inches out of the booth, “I’m going to get a drink. Can I get you boys anything?”

We shake our heads in unison. Rossi suggests that his date join her.

He places his hand on my shoulder, “So? Any progress made?”

“I don’t want to overwhelm her. There’s so much I want to say. But I feel like I’ve put her through enough already. I’m an old man Dave. I’m a widower with a son. The damage I’d be asking her to cope with, the burden I’d be subjecting her to...”

David clears his throat and slips his phone out of his pocket. He swipes through some photos in his camera roll and lands on a photo of y/n and me. It’s from a cocktail party he hosted a few years ago. Jack, y/n, and I are sitting on the grass in Rossi’s backyard playing with dandelions. I can still hear their laughter filling the air: Jack’s squeals and y/n’s child-like giggles. We felt like a family. I would give anything to relive those moments of genuine bliss, to feel that sensation of being complete, heart, mind, and soul once more.

“Sometimes,” Rossi begins, “when people are destined to be together, their love grows over an undetermined span of time. It could be months, weeks, even years. You both may feel the shared pain of this rollercoaster called life and the hurt that comes from being separated from one another, but this helps you better grasp the priceless value and purity of the love you share. There is no easy road to love. Anyone who claims otherwise is doomed to be plagued by the mediocrity that is a false sense of security. The path you are on, Aaron is the one walked by the greatest lovers in history. In layman’s terms, don’t screw this up.”

[dulcettonesofmattsimmons]

I Do (Matt Simmons x Reader)

Prompts / MasterList

Matt didn’t have many friends besides the team. Y/N didn’t want a big wedding. They both agree that they want a simple and small wedding. They both already got what they want, which is each other. So Rossi opens up his house for them to get married since he saw Matt as a son and he wanted to give his house as a wedding gift even though he still brought the couple a gift. Matt invited the team and his kids to come while Y/N invited some of her friends and family. Not a lot of people. It was small.

Y/N got a few of her friends from high school and the BAU ladies to help her get ready. “Oh I already know that Matt is just going to go crazy once he sees you,” Penelope said cheering. “Thank you, Garica” Y/n answered blushing, looking at herself in the mirror.

Once they were ready to walk down the aisle, Rossi volunteered to walk Y/N down the aisle since Y/N’s dad couldn’t make it since he was away for a job. When they got to Matt, who already had tears in his eyes, Rossi just pats Matt’s on the back and walked to his seat. “You look just beautiful” Matt whispered. “I got to keep up with my soon to be husband” Y/n replied, Matt just smiled and looked down. “I think it’s me who has to keep up,” Matt said, making Y/N smile wider.

“We’re here to celebrate something that rarely has ever been found. Which is true love. Matthew Simmons and Y/N L/N found and now are ready to bond together for eternity. Now I believe that the bride and groom wrote their vows.” The minister spoke looking at Matt and Y/N. They both nodded and took out their own papers.

Matt breaths and speaks.” I admire you. Simply because of your kind soul, tender heart, and a positive mindset. I especially appreciate your endearing sense of humor. I am ever so grateful for your love and selflessness. In return, I offer these promises. I promise you my everlasting devotion, my loyalty, and my respect. I promise to love you unconditionally and to grow with you in mind, body, and spirit. I promise to pray with you, to dream with you, to build a family with you, and to encourage you. I promise to share in your joys and sorrows and all that God has to offer us. You are my forever, my best friend, my dream come true, and now my wife. With these words and all the words of my heart, I marry you and bind my life to yours. Forever and always. I love you. At last, the day is finally here as we become husband and wife. Things always fall into place at the right time and the timing was perfect for us. Whatever happened the first time? Although I never told you, it didn't take me long to know that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. They say when you meet your soul mate you should feel calm, no anxiety, and no agitation. And your calmness is what gravitated me towards you from day one. I love you. I love the way you still give me butterflies every time I see you. I love the way you care not only for me but for everyone around you. I love the way you're patient with me. I love how much you're willing to try new things with me to make me happy. I admire how hard you work to help others and above all, I love how you love me. You've taught me things and opened my eyes to see life so differently and clearly. You've shown me the meaning of love and have made me become so emotional yet strong at the same time. You forever have my heart, my soul, and my hand as we journey through this chapter called life together. I promise to love you, respect you, and cherish you forever. I'm so lucky to have found such a perfect person that I get to spend the rest of my life with. You're my soldier, my lover and above all, my best friend. I'm so excited to spend the rest of my life with you. So tonight I give you my heart and vow to be the best partner in life and in love. I love you to the moon and back. I promise to hold your hand every night and never let us lose our spark. I promise to love you, to be your heart, to keep a flame alive for you in my heart. I promise to have the patience that loves demands, to speak when words are needed, and to share in the silence when they are not. I promise to be giving and forgiving; to make you laugh and to laugh at myself. I promise to love you as you love me, through all hardship, darkness, and pain to reach for our joys, our hopes, and always with honesty and faith. You are my guide to love, my every wish, and the person I want to grow old with. You’re my person. You just are. When you walked into my life, love walked in, too. Time is always on my side when I am with you.”

Y/N wipes her tears and grabs Matt’s hand. She started. “I want so badly to be able to explain all the love I have for you. Not the love of butterflies and stomach knots—but more the blurring of self and the entanglement with another soul. Love is a word that is much too soft and used far too often to ever describe the fierce, infinite, and blazing passion that I have in my heart for you. You are a million dreams and a million prayers of a little girl come true. You are kind. You are silly. You are intelligent. Your laugh is contagious. You acknowledge my strengths and accept my faults. You make me want to be a better person every day. I take you as you are now, tomorrow, and for eternity to come, to be my husband. Even when the day comes that we're old and gray, I promise to always see you with the same eyes and the same heart that I see you with at this exact moment. So today, I vow to honor you and respect you, support you, and encourage you. I promise to dream with you, celebrate with you, and walk beside you through whatever life brings. I vow to laugh with you and comfort you during times of joy and times of sorrow. I promise to always pursue you, to fight for you and love you unconditionally and wholeheartedly for the rest of my life. You are my best friend and I'm the luckiest person on Earth to call you mine. I'm so proud that today I became your wife. I love you. I love the way you dance to make me laugh. I love that you always push my hair back when it's in my face. I love that I get a kiss from you every time we stop at a red light. I love that you're open to trying new things. Today, I want to make promises to you that I will always keep. I promise to never stop holding your hand. I promise to make sure I'm not just hungry when I get upset. I promise to stand by your side while you face the world. Listen to you when you speak. I promise to join your laughter with my own and when you can't look on the bright side, I will sit with you in the dark. I promise to grow alongside you, but also to never grow up. I promise to love, respect, protect and trust you, and give you the best of myself, for I know that together we will build a life far better than either of us could imagine alone. I choose you. I'll choose you over and over and over, without pause, without doubt, I'll keep choosing you. I used to never truly enjoy moments because I was always waiting for what's next. The next thing to happen. Kind of living life fast forward. Now that I have you, I enjoy the moment. Every moment. Today seems like it's the start of a new journey, but I already belong to you. Falling for you wasn't falling at all—it was walking into a house and knowing you're home. I love you.”

By the end of it, everyone was crying. No one had a dry eye. “Well, I think that this is the part where I ask you a question” The minister spoke, making Matt and Y/N smile and nod. “Do you Matthew Simmons, take Y/N L/N to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death does you part.” The minister looks at Matt. “I do,” Matt nods, smiling. “ Do you Y/N L/N, take Matthew Simmons to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death does you part.” he looked at Y/N. “I do” Y/N answer smiling. “By the power vested in me, I pronounce you to each other, husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride.” The minister spoke.

Matt quickly pulled Y/N in for a kiss and everyone started to cheer but Matt and Y/N could only focus and each other.