#i'm so much cooler online

[steakout-05]

currently thinking and obsessing about the fact that my dad very likely went to an Australian version of Chuck E. Cheese called Charlie Cheese back in the early-to-mid 80s when he was a kid and how fucking COOL that is!!!

the fact that were was a whole balcony stage show with a Warblettes animatronic, a Madame Oink AND a Dolli Dimples in my country is absolutely amazing to me and i'm having so many thoughts about it. where are they now? do they still exist? did they have other rotating guest characters or was it just Madame Oink? were there any differences to the showtapes (such as name changes or localisations)? there's also this incredibly rare and adorable Charlie plush and i love him SO MUCH i'm rotating him around in my head right now

i'm kinda surprised that CEC had locations here at all back in the 80s because animatronics aren't really a big thing in Australia, at least not as much as they are in America. we never really had that big animatronic pizza craze over here and animatronic shows are a pretty rare sight here apart from the occasional big amusement park chain (but even then, they're not very common at all). but yeah i think it's fucking awesome that my dad went here as a kid as he recalls quite a lot of details about the show and the animatronics up on stage!! he specifically remembers the Grundy's location, that there was "a giant rat" and the cheese wall maze underneath the animatronics and it's SO COOL to me as someone who has a love for these old retro pizza animatronics!!! no joke one of my biggest dreams is to just see either an 80s cec animatronic or a rockafire animatronic irl one day and the fact that my dad got to see a cec show is amazing!! :D

P.S. here's a video i found of the Charlie Cheese show at Grundy's performing!!! it's at the 38 second mark and there's footage of Dolli Dimples performing too!!

[blujayonthewing]

Most spiders are cool with me but wolf spiders freak me the hell out. Rescued one from my dad's pool years ago and the second I set it down on the ground all of its babies (which I DID NOT KNOW ABOUT) scattered. I know in theory they are harmless friends but in practice their presence makes me so uncomfortable. I still don't kill them though.

that's fair! the babies thing IS kind of alarming to see, especially if you're not ready for it ^^;; if it helps, spiderlings only stay with their mother for a couple of weeks and, during that time, only leave her if disturbed, so it's reasonably unlikely that any given individual will explode babies (I've only ever seen mother wolfs carrying babies a couple of times, myself). many wolf spiders also closely resemble members of several other families of spider, so it's also fairly likely that any given wolf spider is actually a male grass spider looking for a girlfriend! I know that doesn't necessarily tip the balance on a gut discomfort, though ^^;

wolf spiders are also completely unique in this kind of parental care, and extremely rare among spiders for doing any parental care at all! another family of spiders known for protecting and providing for their young after they're born are literally named for the behavior (the nursery-web spiders: they build a shelter for their young to live in, and watch over them until they disperse). both families are active hunters (they don't build webs) and also carry their eggs with them; wolf spiders drag the eggsac behind attached to the spinnerets, and nursery web spiders carry them SUPER awkwardly under their bellies for some reason?? the families are very visually similar (the most reliable way to tell them apart is by how their eyes are arranged) but some nursery spiders get FUCKIN, COLOSSAL, so if you've ever seen a wolf spider the size of a goddamn dinner plate it was probably actually a nursery web or fishing spider, lmao. ...this is all completely unrelated to your ask, btw, I'm just on a stream of consciousness spider tangent now cause I think they're neat 👉👈

[aph-estonia]

in a weird fucked up state rn where i just lost 6-7 friends in the span of a week tops and i can't get myself to do anything about it. i can't get better. i tried and i gave up and i've become more okay with being scum and now trying to go back to being better is like the hardest thing i've ever felt in my life

[darkdragon768]

Looking at the dingos I've drawn makes me so happy. Pathetic wet idiot. I hate him (affectionate).

Like, I'm looking at the sketches and just start giggling. I love to put him into stupid awful situations.

If I'm feeling bad I just look back at those and immediately feel better.

(i just hope the line art won't ruin any of this. We all know how it is with sketch vs line art...)

[chunghasweetie]

𝐂𝐀𝐍’𝐓 𝐋𝐄𝐓 𝐈𝐓 𝐆𝐎 | J.JK

— part 2

— pairing | dom!oc x nerdy sub!jjk

— summary | loser nerd jk has crushed on her for years and is assigned to be her college tutor for her calculus class. studying doesn’t go exactly as planned and he ends up losing his virginity in the best way possible.

— warning | bad writing (i’m doing my best)

virginity loss, cussing, corruption kink, female dom, light dirty talk, belittling, dick sucking, unprotected sex, etc

— word count | 3.5k words

— song suggestion | rush — william singe

His nerves were tingling with anxiety. He had imagined a day like this since he laid eyes on her.

His crush first stemmed from middle school. Then it followed him through high school, and now his college career.

Y/n had always been the typical token super pretty and popular girl. She was funny too, he couldn’t help but giggle to himself when she was making jokes with her friends across the room.

Jungkook was beyond nervous. He’s had a crush on her forever, and now he was standing in front of her home for their very first tutoring session.

Jungkook had arrived at Y/n’s home, exhaling to himself. “I can do this.” He mumbled before knocking on her door.

The door opened and there she was. A short denim mini skirt and a matching top.

He was already done for.

“Oh hey Jungkook.” She smiled, “You’re here already. I didn’t think you’d be early. Come in.”

He feels his heart skip a beat as Y/n opens the door, a genuine smile spreading across his face.

“H-hi! Yes, it's me” He clears his throat. “Thank you for inviting me inside.” He steps inside, taking in the sight of her apartment.

“Of course.” She led him to the dining room table her hips swaying in her mini skirt that showed off her figure beautifully.

His eyes widen and follow her every move, watching as she leads him to the dining room table.

He can't help but feel a rush of excitement as he takes in the sight of her hips swaying in her skirt.

He had never imagined they’d be in such a small space. Alone with her. His heart could almost explode with excitement.

Her home didn’t look much like the google maps photos like he seen online.

“Is right here okay?” She asked him, her table with the notebooks and studying material she needed already set up.

He swallows hard and nods, feeling his cheeks heat up. “I-It’s fine.”

The two sat at her table studying, Jungkook using more complex language than she was used to.

She could grasp some of it, but Y/n wasn’t necessarily the strongest in the subject.

“I’ve always sucked at math. Let alone calculus.” She laughed. “It must be nice to know everything.”

He chuckles nervously, shaking his head. “No, not everything. Just... some things. Math is definitely my strong suit.” He takes a deep breath, gathering his composure before turning his attention to her math homework “Okay, let's continue.”

She simply nodded. She leaned closer to him, reading the book that was further in his direction.

Her breasts were huge. He wondered how her posture managed to stay so straight with those jugs weighing her down.

Her right breast was pressed against his shoulder, driving him crazy.

He tries to focus on the homework, but finds himself distracted by her low cut top and her large breasts on view.

He can't help but glance, feeling his face flush with embarrassment as he realizes she might notice. “Uh, so... uh...”

“Are you okay?” Y/n asked him.

“Yes.” He cleared his throat.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, yes I'm fine. It's just... uh... hot in here.” He tries to refocus on her homework assignment, but his mind keeps drifting to her body and how close she's standing next to him.

“I’ll go turn the ac on” She got up, hips swaying as she went to turn on the AC. She eventually came back. “Better?” She sat back down.

‘Someone kill me.’ Jungkook thought to himself.

He tries to focus on the books and studying material, but his gaze keeps drifting back to her exposed thighs and the way her skirt rides up

He nods, grateful for the cooler air. He watches as she sits back down next to him, hips swaying in a way that makes his heart race.

“This is so hard” She groaned. “Calculus is so difficult.”

He nods in agreement, trying to stifle a smile at her cute groan. “Yeah, uh... It can be tough sometimes.”

He starts going over the problem with her, letting his hand rest on hers gently as he points out what she did wrong.

“I think it’s the table.” She tells him. “I focus more on my bed, it’s where I’m most comfortable. Jungkook, would you be okay studying there with me?” Y/n suggested.

His heart races at the thought of having her in a more private setting, but he knows he shouldn't let his crush get the best of him.

He nods and starts gathering the homework assignments and books. “Yeah— sure, let's move to the couch.”

She smirked to herself on the way to her bedroom. Her plan was working perfectly, and working quicker than she expected.

His eyes widened at her room. He was finally inside. He always seen a few corners when he was stalking her Instagram late at night, but now being there in person sent him over the edge.

It was so her. The decorations, the layout, the scent. It was perfectly her.

“Much better” She sat down on her bed, starting to write in her notes with him.

He watches as she writes, trying not to get too distracted by the way her hair falls over her shoulders and the way she bites her lip in concentration.

He clears his throat and starts going over the problems again, trying to focus on the homework instead of his crush.

About an hour had passed of them studying, and she was beyond bored. Y/n was over hearing about stupid questions she had no interest in finding the solution for.

“Like I said, when you plug in the formula—“

“Don’t you have a girlfriend waiting on you?” Y/n interrupted him. “You’ve been here for a while.”

“I-I don’t have one.” He swallowed. “And I told the professor I’d spend as much time as needed for you to pass.”

He was still talking about school, making her boredom increase. “Do you do anything outside of school?” She changed the topic.

He blinks at her, surprised by the sudden question. He fidgets with his glasses and stammers a bit before answering. “I...I go to the internet cafe with my friends and do coding and stuff.. I help code games and such. It's...it's not very exciting, but it keeps me busy.”

“Cute.” She chuckled. “So you’re like a full time nerd?”

He blushes at her teasing and nods, looking down at his hands. “Y-yes, I suppose you could say that. I do enjoy learning and electronics...and working on computers gives me a chance to use my skills to help others. It's...it's important to me.“

“Is that why you’re single?” She asked him. “Too busy studying and programming?”

He nodded.

Wasn’t necessarily the entire truth. Some of the other girls at the cafe definitely took an interest but he was all about you.

He was a quiet guy but he always spoke up about you. All of his friends at the internet cafe knew about his crush on you. He would be teased daily because well, look at him and you.

He didn’t care. He knew from the start it wasn’t realistic considering the crowds you stuck around with.

Jungkook would rather be at home with his computer while you’d be parting with sororities and frat boys.

“You’re a busy guy hm? Well when was the last time you’ve had a girlfriend?” Y/n asked him, moving the text books as she inched closer.

“I-I— Well.” He swallowed, “I’ve never had one before..” He itched the back of his neck.

Her eyes widened. “You can’t be serious.”

“It just— never happened.” He told her.

“That’s just so hard to believe.” She analyzed him with her feline like eyes.. “I think you’re really handsome and cute.”

“Really?” His voice came out a lot louder than he meant to, clearing his throat. “Y-You do?”

She nodded, “I always have.” She suddenly climbed on his lap, making Jungkook let out a slight gasp in surprise.

He looks up at her in surprise, his heart beating faster at her words. He stammers out a thank you, feeling his face heat up again. “I...I'm...I'm glad you think so...”

“It’s okay if I sit here right?” She asked, making him nod rather quickly.

“Good.” She giggled. “So you’ve never had a girlfriend… you at least have lost your virginity right?”

Jungkook looked away shyly. “N-No..”

She had always had the reputation of being the popular pretty girl. Her entire friend group and social circle was like that. So naturally it was expected for her to end up with a frat guy.

Y/n had been with a few, and was absolutely bored out of her mind. They were cocky and disgusting, seeming to like their bros more than actual women.

She had no interest in anyone like that.

She always had a thing for nerdy and loser men who looked like they had never had a chance with losing their virginity.

Her friends were always teasing her about her type. No one could understand how she could really be attracted to a guy like that.

Y/n noticed Jungkook towards her sophomore year of high school. He had always been attractive to her but she really took a notice to him at that time.

He was tall, handsome, and quiet. Super shy. The only time she had seen him really talk was during a history presentation when he had to read off some slides.

Her horny teenage brain definitely took notice towards the bulge in his pants whenever she looked his way.

Y/n was always with her friend group and Jungkook was always in way better and smarter classes than her. He never had any social media either, so she never had the chance to really make a move on him.

It was now their junior year in college and once she heard he was assigned to be her tutor, she had to do something.

Jungkook had hardly ever kissed a girl. A girl pecked his lips in his junior year of high school and he absolutely hated it.

Hated it because it wasn’t her.

She shifts on his lap. “That’s so cute. Are you waiting for someone to take it?”

He nodded quickly. He was hard as a rock. Her skirt was practically all the way lifted as she sat on his lap, driving him insane.

“Mm I’d be honored to volunteer.” She suggested.

“T-Take it— P-please.” He was practically whimpering out to her.

She didn’t waste her time, leaning forward to kiss his lips. She wasn’t too rough on him, but she definitely was working her lips on his.

“Gonna make you feel real good.” She smacked her lips against his, grabbing his hands, placing them over her ass cheeks. “Grab it okay?”

Jungkook bent his fingers, now holding her ass in his hands.

She traveled her lips down to the crook of his neck, creating a trail of dark hickeys.

Y/n was grinding on his lap with her skirt on as she marked up his neck. “No hickeys before either?”

There was no way this was really happening. Jungkook could go into shock. This was even better than he had ever imagined.

His breathing becomes heavier and heavier as she grinds on his lap, feeling the friction between their bodies.

He moans as she marks up his neck, his mind clouded with pleasure. He whimpers as she asks about hickeys, shaking his head slightly. “N-no...”

“You’re so much more vocal than I imagined. and I’m just kissing you.” She giggled.

He blushes profusely as she speaks about his vocalness, feeling embarrassed at how turned on he is by her touch.

He looks up at her as she pulls away from his neck, seeing the marks she left on his skin.

“So cute..” She pulled away from his neck. “All marked up, it looks intense.” She grabbed her handheld mirror, showing him what she did to him.

He gulps, reaching up to touch them gently. seeing the marks she left on his skin. He gulps, reaching up to touch them gently.

“You’re comfy right baby?” She asked him, making sure he was at ease while she tainted him.

“I-I’m fine.” He shakes his head, leaning into her touch as she runs her fingers through his hair. “N-no... it just... makes me want more... of you...” He confesses, feeling vulnerable and honest in front of her.

“You’re more than ready to lose your virginity huh baby?” She baby talked him. “Poor baby wants to be touched so bad.”

He blushes deeply at her words, nodding slowly. He's been a virgin for so long and he wants nothing more than to experience it with her.

“Y-yes...” He stammers, his voice barely above a whisper. I want to... be with you...”

“I’m almost there sweetheart. You’re doing so good being patient for me.” She comforted, seeing how whiny and desperate he was. It didn’t help that he was incredibly hard under her.

Her praises were driving him insane and she hadn’t even took his pants off yet. “Wha— What now?” He asks softly, hoping he doesn't sound too desperate.

She was practically drooling over the sight of him. His dick had been teasing her for centuries through his jeans, and she finally had it at her disposal.

He lets out a involuntary gasp as she unzips his pants and pulls out his dick. He blushes as she compliments him on his size. He never thought anyone would say that about him. “I-it's not that big...”

“You’re so humble.” She smirked. “I don’t even think I’ll be able to fit it inside me or my mouth.” She chuckled. “Let me know if it’s too much. Mm gonna sit on it first okay? Don’t have a condom so you’re going to have to pull out when you feel it okay?”

He nodded eagerly. “I-I’ll try my best.”

“That’s all I can ask of you.” She latched her lips onto his lips once more before sliding herself onto him, making their lips disconnect from their moans.

He was a mess from the start. Her pussy was so tight and wet, driving him insane.

He had always imagined what it would feel like but this was even better.

“O-Oh wow.” He whined, “F-Feels so t-tight”

Y/n bounced on him slowly, allowing him to feel all of her.

“It’s good huh baby?” Y/n cooed. “You’re so big baby”

“Mmph— it’s so wet—“ He whimpered.

He lets out a gasp, his hands instinctively reaching out to grab onto her hips for support. "F-fuck!"

She was moving her hips in a rhythmic motion that sent waves of pleasure coursing through his entire body. He moans softly, biting his lip to keep from making too much noise.

Y/n took a notice of his actions. “Don’t want you being quiet. I’ve waited so long to have you like this.” She stopped moving on top of him.

Jungkook's eyes snap open as Y/n stops moving, his cock throbbing with need and frustration at the sudden lack of stimulation.

He looks up at her with a desperate expression, pleading for her to continue with his actions. "P-please..."

She grabbed his neck subtly, not enough to really hurt him. She turned his chin to the side, “Covered you in so many hickeys, all for you to be quiet now?”

Jungkook's heart races as Y/n grabs his neck, a small whimper escaping his lips at the touch. He looks at her with a mixture of surprise and arousal, his mind racing at the sudden change in her demeanor. "I-I'm sorry...”

“What’re you going to do differently if I keep moving?” She growled into his ear. “Tell me. Use that pretty mouth.”

Jungkook's breath hitches as Y/n growls in his ear, his heart pounding in his chest. He swallows hard, trying to find the words to answer her question. "I-I'll... I'll make more noise...”

“Good boy…” She began moving again, “Mm— feels so good” Y/n moaned into his ear.

Jungkook's eyes roll back in pleasure as Y/n begins moving again, her moans in his ear sending chills down his spine.

He grips the sheets beneath him tightly, his body trembling with need as she bouncing on him. "F-fuck...I— never imagined p-pussy would be this good”

His desperate pleas sent her over the edge. She loved how he was so whiny and desperate all for her.

“Never baby?” She hummed, her voice sensually whispering against his ear.

Jungkook lets out a low groan as Y/n’s words register in his head, his mind filled with filthy thoughts. He nods his head, unable to find the words to speak. "N-no... I never thought... f-fuck..."

He was absolutely pussydrunk, the feeling of his cock being sunk into her pussy made him go insane.

If he was already obsessed with her before, he knew he was absolutely fucked now. “I-I m-might… mmgh…”

She knew how lost he was in her pussy, knowing he was close to cumming at any second.

She quickly got up off his cock, making him whimper at the sudden separation.

“Can’t have you cum inside baby.” She hushed him, knowing he was about to complain.

“I-I want to cum so bad— Please let me” He whined.

“You’re gonna cum baby. I wouldn’t do that to you.” She made her way off his lap.

She got in between his legs and on her knees. “Gonna suck you off pretty boy.”

She had no problem sucking him off after he was just inside of her. She opened her mouth, licking his tip to test the waters.

He can't help but moan as she licks his tip. He doesn't know what came over him, he bites his lip as she starts bobbing her head up and down on him.

He lets out a deep moan as she takes him all in. He's never felt anything like this before. He tries to hold back, but he can feel himself already getting close. He whined, warning her that he's about to cum.

She let him cum all in her mouth, not dare wasting a single drop as she swallowed.

He couldn’t believe what just happened. He's cumming in her mouth and she's swallowing every drop. He's never felt so satisfied in his life. He pulls out and pants. “Thank you... that was amazing.”

He was so infatuated with her. He had been beating his dick for years, whining and whimpering in his bedroom at merely the idea of his dick being sucked by her.

He blushes and stutters, trying to find the words. He can't believe what just happened.

“Y-you.. it was... amazing. I don't know what to say. Thank you.” He turns to face her, his eyes filled with gratitude as he repeated his thanks.

The two hung out for a bit longer, actually getting her tutoring done. She giggled. “i’ll see you at school tomorrow.” She waved as they bid their goodbyes.

He smiles and nods, still in shock about what happened. “Y-yeah, see you then.” He watches her shut the door, his heart racing with excitement. He can't believe she just sucked his dick, took his virginity, and then he was back to tutoring her.

His dreams finally came true.

༊—

The next day she was walking with her friends, and seemed to pass Jungkook’s friends group. She could hear Jungkook’s friends teasing him.

“Bro you have a hickey?!” They stared at his neck in amazement, adjusting their glasses to look closely.

Like stated, they were nobodies. All of them. Never had any interactions with women in their lives.

Jungkook covers his neck with his hand, trying to hide the hickey. He didn't realize it was so obvious, but he's glad he got it. He can't stop thinking about last night and her. “Sh-shut up gu-guys!”

His face turns bright red, shushing them and trying to avoid any more attention. “F-Fuck this is embarrassing.” He can't help but think about her again and the amazing time they had last night. He's already looking forward to seeing her again and continuing their tutoring sessions.

Y/n’s friends looked over at the boys. “What do you think that’s all about?” They asked amongst themselves.

“Why does it matter? Probably just some boring video game release. Or maybe a new textbook was added to the library!” One of the girls laughed.

Y/n couldn’t help but chuckle to herself, knowing damn well there would be more where that came from.

[pixelnrd]

On the eve of the new millenum, Ginger ran downstairs to inform her family of their potential impending doom. Having read all about it online, Y2K could posssibly be the biggest disaster they would face in their lifetime.

Her frenzied explanation of the situation as she tried to convince them all tospend their new years down in the basement caused confusion for the rest of the family. None of them understood why, and yet to appease Ginger in her heightened state they all agreed to go downstairs to Quincy's basement bedroom, which Ginger had turned into a temporary shelter.

'We all have to stay down here just in case, but I've got a whole cooler of food and beds for us all. It'll be fine! We just have to wait it out!' she insisted.

Once everyone realised that Ginger was trapping them all in the basement together, they were suddenly less compliant. But Jenny and Heather worried that Ginger might be right, so they decided that everyone should go along with it, just in case. Jasmine and Quincy were furious, and began to berate their sister for ruining their New Years plans. Everyone ate cold cereal for dinner and went to sleep on the floor.

Come the next day, having been trapped together in a basement for 24 hours, the tensions dissolved. Heather and Jenny woke up to find their near-adult children all playing video games together in their pjs, and talking to eachother with affection and kindness.

Ginger confessed to her siblings that she was scared of life once they left the basement. Even if things were all fine, and disaster had been averted, they were all about to graduate high school and go their separate ways for the first time in their lives. It scared her, leaving behind their shared childhood here.

'But Ginger, we're all still going to be friends,' assured Quincy. 'We'll always be in touch, even if we aren't living in the same house. We can always IM or email or text.'

'I thought you guys couldn't wait to get away from me, though,' confessed Ginger.

'No way! I'm going to miss you both,' said Jasmine, feeling sad too. 'Even if you guys drive me crazy, I love you both so much.'

It was like old times - being forced into the company of one another had broken down the walls they had all built up as they strove for individuality. Heather and Jenny smiled with happiness, seeing what kind and caring young people they had raised, who could put aside their differences to remember that they loved one another. They felt like they had got it right.

If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends. Make it last forever, friendship never ends 🎵

[noyaspeach]

first light

Summary: Could this be how every day begins?

After a long and restless night with no sleep, you go looking for something to while away the hours. As it turns out, Astarion is just as much of an insomniac as you are, and the two of you spend the early morning together.

Pairing: Astarion x Gender Neutral! Reader

Word Count: 4,334

Tags: Fluff and Light Angst, Pining, Feelings Realization (Kinda?), Second Person POV, Soft Astarion, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Insomnia, Watching the Sunrise

Author's Note:

not me returning to fic-writing over 3 years later with an astarion fic of all things. i can't even guarantee i'll write another one considering i'm about to start college again, but i would sure like to!

i was heavily inspired to write this because of the release of hozier's album. it perfectly aligned with me becoming obsessed with baldur's gate 3, and astarion is just so hozier-coded, how could i not? as the title suggests, i was inspired by the song "first light" which is the last song on the album, based on dante's ascent out of hell and his first taste of light and freedom. i imagine it's how astarion must have felt when he was no longer forced to do cazador's bidding and when he could finally experience sunlight again.

obligatory disclaimers: i haven't actually played the game yet, so this fic is informed by clips i've seen online, gif sets, the baldur's gate wiki, and other fics. if any details in this aren't chronologically sound or if anything seems a little non-compliant with the canon of the game... now you know why lol.

still, i hope you enjoy it! this is also posted to ao3! read here!

///

You stare up at the ceiling of your tent, frustration rolling in your chest as you struggle to rest. Your eyes are beginning to sting with the lack of sleep, but simply closing them does nothing to help. You’ve gone through all of your belongings twice already, looking for something to ease you into slumber, but no amount of reading or alcohol seems to do the trick. It certainly doesn’t help that the weather has been oppressively humid all night, leaving you coated in a thin, sticky layer of sweat that doesn’t seem to leave you no matter how many layers you shed.

You can’t bear to lay around in the thick air of your tent, so you decide to sit out by the extinguished campfire in the hopes that it will do more to relax you.

You quietly open your tent flap and emerge into the mild morning air. It’s much cooler outside, and a light breeze tickles your arm, already doing wonders to dry your sweat. It’s still too early for daylight, so the camp is only dimly illuminated by the moonlight. With the lack of light, you listen out for the sounds of the forest around you: the chirps of insects beneath you, hooting owls in the distance, and a trickling stream not too far away. Focusing on these scarce sounds, you already feel much calmer.

After a moment of peace, you hear a rustle to your right. You whip your head toward the sound, hands ready at your weapon, when you see a familiar face emerge from the trees. You let your hands drop to your side again. It’s just Astarion. He appears to be returning to his tent, noticeably empty-handed. You wonder what he’s up to this early in the morning, and he seems to be wondering the same thing, eyeing you with an inquisitive raise of the eyebrow.

“Restless sleeper, are we?” He remarks.

“Something like that,” you reply. “Just needed some fresh air.”

You notice that Astarion is still in his sleepwear, the sleeves of his white undershirt pushed up above his elbows. “And what are you doing out?”

“Oh, you know. Searching for a midnight snack, so to speak.” He gestures to the woods behind him. “Unfortunately, there isn’t a very fine selection tonight.”

You grimace at the thought of Astarion catching an innocent woodland creature between his teeth. It’s a less-than-flattering image, one that’s informed by the memory of the boar he drained a while back, and one that you’re eager to dismiss.

“Is that all you’ve been up to?” You ask.

“Why? Were you getting lonely without me?” He teases. You can only roll your eyes in response. When he doesn’t receive a retort, Astarion sighs and continues. “Right, if you want an honest answer, I was going for a stroll to pass the time.”

You tilt your head to the side. “Wandering about on your own while everyone’s asleep isn’t a very good idea. If something happens out there, none of us will be able to save you”

“Trust me, darling, I can hold my own just fine. But I appreciate you worrying about my safety. It’s almost touching.” He smirks. “I would appreciate it even more if you would refrain from telling the others about my… routine here. I don’t exactly want the company.”

“Routine? How long have you been taking these walks?”

“Since the day I joined you all, I would say.” Astarion’s eyes move to the entrance of his own tent. “I haven’t been able to get much sleep myself, and I figure there isn’t much use laying on my bedroll if I’m not resting or satisfying… other needs. So, I walk. And occasionally feed.”

You search Astarion’s face for any sign of deception, but he’s being surprisingly truthful, if a little bashful. You resonate with his sleeplessness, being something of an insomniac yourself. Despite the immense toll your travels have taken on your body, you can’t seem to rest very easily at all, especially when you need it the most. Whether it’s the vivid memories of past battles replaying in your dreams, the smothering climate of whatever campsite you’ve picked out that night, or the relentless wriggling of the tadpole in your head, there’s always something keeping you up.

“I’m surprised I haven’t caught you earlier, then,” you say. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone.”

“Thank you,” says Astarion. He smiles, and it seems he means it too. “Well, seeing as neither one of us will be getting to bed anytime soon, would you care to join me?”

You cross your arms. “I thought you would have preferred to be alone.”

“Misery loves company and all. I think I can make an exception for a fellow night owl,” he drawls.

You agree to walk with him then and quietly head in the opposite direction of both tents. You’re sure to bring your weapon with you in the off chance that something—or someone—attacks the two of you. A very small part of you still garners some suspicion for Astarion himself, especially considering that night in which he tried to feed from you while you slept. Perhaps that’s another factor in your insomnia; although you let Astarion drink his fill that night, you can’t be entirely sure he won’t try it again. That he won’t succeed in creeping up on you and draining you completely.

You shiver at the thought, but pass it off as a cold chill from the wind. As the two of you slowly move from the campsite, your surroundings become even quieter. The chirping insects from before are silent now, and the nearby stream is barely a whisper. You can hardly hear either of your footsteps. It’s at once peaceful and unsettling.

After a few short minutes, you’re the first to break the silence. “What do you usually do when you’re out here?”

Astarion thinks for a moment, and hums. “Hmm. Aside from hunting, I suppose I just sit with my thoughts. There isn’t much else to do, is there?”

You nod, but somehow you don’t think being left with one’s own thoughts is particularly relaxing for anyone in your party. You can’t imagine it’s any good for Astarion, especially.

“And what do you think about?”

“So much,” he says. “Plans, mostly. Where our next destination is, where I’ll find my next meal, what I’ll do when we reach Baldur’s Gate, how to get rid of this wretched parasite…”

“Do you ever think about your past?”

Astarion’s gaze is a bit distant until you ask that. He slows his pace and turns to you, looking unusually serious. “I prefer not to.”

He leaves it at that, so you decide not to push further. You only know a little about Astarion’s life before the tadpole entered his mind. You know he’s the spawn of an even more powerful vampire, a master to whom he was a slave for nearly 200 years, and you know he’s lived in the shadows up until now. It isn’t lost on you that this entire adventure is his first taste of freedom in centuries. You understand why he would rather focus on the future. Still, your nagging curiosity makes you desperate for more information about him.

“What about you, my dear?” He returns to his more amused attitude. “What do you do in that tent of yours to pass the time until the morning comes? Don’t tell me if it’s anything naughty… Actually, do.”

You shake your head and suppress a smile as he actually almost earns a laugh from you. “Nothing like that. I normally just try to distract myself until I can hopefully fall back asleep. Read something, sort my wares, hum a tune. Anything to relax.”

“I take it that hasn’t been working for you?”

“No. Not one bit. I’m actually kind of worried it might start affecting my performance from now on. Unlike some of the elves in this team, I actually need quite a lot of rest.”

“A true shame,” he tuts. “Although it is a double-edged sword. On the one hand, I don’t need to sleep for very long. On the other, I can’t sleep for very long. Sometimes I do wish I could simply let the whole day pass while I doze off. That would be much easier than just waiting it out.”

You hadn’t considered this. While the rest of your traveling companions are able to sleep through the night, Astarion has no choice but to wait for everyone to wake up around sunrise. All he can do is hope to get a few hours of rest before sitting through the unnerving silence of the night, the only unique sounds being the faint snores and mumbles that float from the other tents. You and he are alike in this struggle, but you at least are lucky enough to have a few nights when your exhaustion is bad enough to force you to bed.

“Well, taking a stroll like this is a good idea,” you finally say. “Thank you for inviting me along.”

A small smile tugs at the corner of Astarion’s lips. “Thank you for joining me. I will admit, it’s easier to pass the time with a… friend… by my side.”

Your heart swells at that word: “friend.” It’s a welcome upgrade from whatever you two might have been considered before.

A few minutes pass with the both of you chatting politely. As you walk, you make note of your surroundings to ensure that you don’t stray too far from camp or encounter any traps. This occupies your mind for a while, but Astarion seems to be running out of topics to discuss. Not wanting him to abandon your little trip just yet, you try to think of something to entertain him. Looking out at the forest and the sky in front of you, you notice that the moon has begun its descent into the trees, meaning morning is almost upon you two. This gives you an idea.

You stop and pivot to face Astarion. He stops too, surprised at your sudden pause.

“What is it?” He asks.

"Would you like to watch the sunrise with me?”

He’s taken aback only momentarily before he adopts his familiar flirtatious demeanor. “Trying to turn this into a romantic tryst, are you? If you want something more, you’ll have to be a little more direct than that.”

You shake your head. “No, I don’t mean anything by it. I want to know if you’ll sit and watch the sun come up with me. That’s all. It should be rising soon enough. It’s almost morning.”

He seems puzzled, his brows tightening and eyes scanning your face for any indication that you may be holding something back. When he doesn’t find anything, he settles back into an easy expression. “I seem to have misjudged. My apologies… Yes, I wouldn’t mind sitting with you.”

“Great.” You smile and begin to walk again. “I heard some water earlier, so I think there may be a stream near here. Maybe it’ll make for a nice spot.”

Astarion follows as you lead him closer to the sound of running water, and the two of you shortly come upon the stream. It’s a small, shallow brook that separates the woods from which you emerge and another expanse of trees on the other side. Right along the edge of the water is a line of smooth rocks big enough to sit on. It’s the perfect place to set up, you think.

The two of you find purchase on the edge of the rocks, feet just barely dangling off the side, hovering above the calmly flowing water. The rocks aren’t terribly big, so the two of you sit side-by-side, your knees close enough to touch. Across the brook, the trees begin to thin out, leaving a clear view of the horizon. You estimate that the sun will start its ascent in the next few minutes, but for now, the scene in front of you remains thinly bathed in moonlight.

In the quiet of the dawn, the moon casts its silvery glow on the world beneath it. Every blade of grass, every dewy flower, every mossy stone radiates with a hazy blue hue. The stream beneath you reflects this onto both of your faces, and you give a sideways glance to your companion next to you. You watch as the light dances across his cheeks, admiring how it shines in his curls, how it glistens in his deep red eyes, and how it collects in the space just above his lips. You inhale and the earthy scent of the forest mixes with the smell of Astarion’s perfume in your nose. As you do so, you realize now just how close in proximity you are to him. You’re close enough to trace his silhouette from the slope of his nose to his slender neck with your fingers if you so choose. You glimpse at the puncture marks just below his jaw and remember once more the night you let him drink from you. You remember the moment you awoke in terror before you realized who was crouched above you. You remember the uncertainty you felt as you gave him permission to continue, not sure whether it was a wise decision or not. You remember the sharp sting of his teeth entering your skin and the almost exhilarating dizziness that followed as he coaxed your blood out with his tongue. The rest of that moment is a blur to you, but you can still distinctly recall how he cradled your head with one hand, the other gently ghosting down your spine. For almost a full day after that night, the smell of bergamot and rosemary lingered on your neck.

“You do know staring is rude, don’t you, darling?” Astarion says. “Not that I particularly mind.” He leans back on his arms and turns to face you. “Not when it’s you.”

Your cheeks flush in spite of the cool temperature. You wonder when it was you became so vulnerable to Astarion’s flirting. Even though you have, you try not to entertain it. After all, you suspect his charming behavior is at least partly a ruse.

“Sorry,” you mutter and look back at the horizon. “It’s very pretty out. It’ll be even prettier in just a few more minutes, too. We’re in the perfect spot to watch the sun come up.”

“Is that so?” Astarion tilts his head as he continues to behold you. “You know, I’ve never watched the sunrise like this.”

You twist to look at him again, utterly shocked. “Seriously? Not once?”

He shakes his head.

“How come?”

He sighs. “I’m sure I must have before… everything. But I can’t seem to remember anything from back then. I lost most of my memories when I was brought back, save for a few of the important details. I suppose sunrises weren’t important enough to stick.” He frowns and stares out at a canopy of trees in the distance. “Then, as you know, it would have been incredibly stupid for me to be out in the light with this condition of mine. So, I never tried. I didn’t have very many opportunities to do so, in any case.”

Your brow furrows, but you don’t say anything. Instead, you let Astarion continue at his own pace.

“...I spent decades in my master’s lair, a- a dungeon, really. I was trapped in the darkness. The only time I was allowed out was when he needed fresh, new bodies, and even then it was always under the cover of night. For the longest time, that was all that I knew. In a way, it’s what I’m still used to…”

Suddenly his sleeplessness makes all the more sense to you.

“I know I’m free from that now, what with the tadpole and all, but…” He trails off. You understand.

After several beats of silence, you clear your throat.

“Once, when I was a child, I went playing in the woods with some of the other children in the village. There were maybe six of us in total? I don’t exactly remember. But we marched all the way from the market to the forest pretending we were a band of heroes. I was at the back of the line, right behind this boy that I really liked. I put myself there on purpose so that I could smile and blush as much as I wanted without him seeing me.”

“How cute,” Astarion comments with a quirked eyebrow.

“Yeah. I mean, I thought I was being clever, but it was pretty silly, wasn’t it? Anyways, when we entered the woods, we decided to split off into teams to see who could find the most ‘treasure.’ We just plucked up sticks, flowers, beetles, pinecones, that kind of stuff. I was paired with the boy I liked, and I was so giddy about it. I wanted to show him just how cool I was, so I climbed up every tree and jumped off every rock. Just hearing him laugh and clap for me was enough for me to keep going. So, I did. Before we knew it, we realized we had strayed too far from the rest of the group. We tried to call out to them but heard nothing in return. We were lost.”

You pause your story to get a brief look at Astarion. You half-expect him to be bored by this point, but you’re surprised to see that he’s giving you his full attention. He waves his hand, signaling for you to continue.

“We started playing late into the evening, so by the time we realized that we had no clue where we were, the sun had already begun to set. I remember cursing myself for wishing I could have some alone time with this boy because that wasn’t at all what I had had in mind. But, alas, that was the situation I was stuck in. When it reached midnight and we still hadn’t made our way back to the village, I started panicking. You should know that I used to be deathly afraid of the forest at night. I was terrified of what kind of creatures could be hiding, waiting to snatch me up and eat me alive.”

“Hmm, like vampires?” Astarion teases.

You smirk. “Precisely. You’ll remember, though, that I was stuck with the boy I liked. So, there was no way I could show that I was scared. I couldn’t display any sign of weakness or else he might not think I was as cool as I let off. Knowing this, I put on a brave face and silently begged the gods for some protection before I assembled a makeshift camp for the two of us. It was, admittedly, very shitty, but it did its job of giving us some shelter for the night. I told him he could sleep and that I would keep watch, and so I did. I didn’t sleep very much back then, either, now that I think about it. I guess not a lot has changed about me… But I digress. I stayed up the whole night, sitting outside our little fort, listening to him snore and talk in his sleep. I don’t think I could have left his side if I wanted to, considering how petrified I was. But I powered through the fear, for his sake. I was so young, but I cared about this boy so much that I felt I owed it to him to make sure he was safe.”

“You were quite the hero, even back then,” Astarion says gently. “Is this little story your way of telling me to be more selfless?”

“Not at all. I’m getting to the point, I promise. I sat there for hours as I waited for it to become day again. Eventually, I was able to focus on the more beautiful parts of the night: the moon, the stars, the lightning bugs, the sweet whisper of the wind through the leaves. The more I searched for the good in my situation, the less scared I became, until I was no longer scared at all. By the time dawn rolled around, I was at peace, actually. I was so proud of myself for making it through the night, I immediately woke the boy up to share the moment with him. Then, we sat together, kind of like this,” You gesture to your and Astarion’s seating position, “and just watched the sunrise in perfect silence. I had never watched the sunrise before. It was so nice, getting to quietly enjoy such a wonderful view with someone I loved.”

As you finish your story, you face Astarion once more. His gaze is soft as he listens to you speak, and the tender curl of his lips betrays a sincere gratitude for having shared this with him.

“Did anything ever happen between you and that boy?” He asks.

“Sadly, no. He eventually fell for some other girl in town. Last I heard, they had three kids together.”

“Hmm.” Astarion angles his chin away from you. “Well, that’s his loss.”

You look away, too, and smile to yourself.

Suddenly, the sky begins to transform before your eyes. The first gleams of sunlight begin to caress the horizon as the moon takes its final bow behind you. The forest, still coated with all the glimmering remnants of morning dew, stirs from its slumber under the streams of the emerging sun. As the sun slowly rises, its warm embrace spreads like honey between the trees, flooding the forest floor with rays of pink and amber. Shafts of light pierce through the lush foliage, creating scintillating patterns on the surface of the water that seem to dance at the promise of a new day. Finally, when the sun peers at you from above the treetops, it’s as if the sky erupts. A burst of brilliance envelopes the world below it in its welcoming embrace, casting everything in a blazing golden light.

You begin to say something to Astarion but stop when you see his face. He looks positively radiant. His face glows in the daylight, appearing even more magnificent than he did in the moon’s silver beams. His face and his hair are colored by the sun, making him look more alive than he ever has before. Every detail from the strands in his eyebrows to the smallest of moles is illuminated before you. You watch as his eyes glisten before softly fluttering closed. He breathes deeply, his chest slowly rising and falling, and he basks in the sunlight. He relaxes completely, letting the sun’s rays melt away any and all tension he may have been holding on to.

You want nothing more than to cup his face in your hands, then, and feel the newly imbued warmth of his skin as you press your lips to his. Instead, however, you carefully place your hand on top of his. His eyes blink open and he turns to look at you once more. You hesitate for a moment, ready to move away, but he doesn’t reject you. His eyes crinkle with appreciation and he laces your fingers together before gently stroking his thumb against the side of your hand. His skin is still a bit cold, but thanks to you, it quickly warms up.

The two of you sit there in tranquility, taking in all of the sights, sounds, and feelings of the early morning. Time seems to slow, then, as if the universe itself also wishes to savor this serene moment for just a little while longer.

Soon, you hear the distant sound of casual conversation as the others awaken for yet another day of arduous traveling. You sigh, knowing that the two of you will have to return to camp shortly and leave all of this behind. You don’t want to let go just yet.

“We should probably get back,” Astarion says first. “I wouldn’t want the others to think that I killed you and scurried off or something like that.”

“Yeah, that wouldn’t be very good for morale,” you joke. After a moment, you reluctantly untwine your fingers and push yourself up off the rocks. You extend a hand to Astarion to help him up, which he graciously accepts.

Neither of you moves at first until Astarion takes a step toward you. Standing so close to you, you wonder if he’s about to kiss you when he gingerly takes hold of your hands. He gives you that sincere smile again.

“Thank you again for this. It was… nice.” You almost can’t believe how vulnerable he seems right now, eyes staring into yours with no hint of false pretenses. “I’d like to do this again with you, if you’ll join me.”

“I would love to.”

“Wonderful,” he says. He lets go of you. “Shall we then?”

The two of you take your time walking back to the campsite, talking idly about what the next few days have in store. When you arrive, Karlach is the first to notice you.

“There you two are! We were beginning to worry.” She looks between you both and crosses her arms, narrowing her eyes mischievously. “Anything we should know about your disappearance?”

You chuckle. “Nothing that would excite you, Karlach.”

You walk past her and approach your tent. The rest of your team is already getting to work cleaning their weapons, armor, and other equipment, preparing to hunt, or strategizing together. Before you duck inside to retrieve your clothes for washing, you turn back and lock eyes with Astarion. He’s entered a conversation between Shadowheart and Gale, but he isn’t all that engaged. He shoots you a knowing look and another small smile which you return in kind.

As you wash your clothes in the river just south of the camp, you think fondly of the promise you’ve now made with Astarion and the many sunrises to come. Suddenly, insomnia doesn’t seem so bad.

[utilitycaster]

How can Molly's death be considered a major mistake? It's the crux of the entire campaign.

so I think about this a lot, because you're right, and it really comes down to like...a lot of factors in how people interact with fiction, and some stuff I feel about fandom.

The short answer is that Molly is some people's favorite character, and they really wanted to watch him for 141 episodes and not just 26, and they didn't get to, and so it's valid to feel sad about that. But I think what personally grinds my gears is the idea that it's a mistake and because this is a Fan Favorite character he SHOULD have come back. Setting aside the fact that he had both his fans and his detractors from the start and a lot of people (myself included) who found him irritating didn't say much for a good chunk of C2 because, well, he was dead, this isn't a fucking competitive reality show. You don't get to vote on your phones to decide who wins a resurrection.

I think the longer answer is that there is a certain type of person in fandom, born of a certain type of person in social media communities, who just...is not willing or interested in considering not just that their experiences, preferences, and philosophy are not universal, but also that they are not objectively best and correct and that everyone who disagrees is wrong. It's often really common in, though not exclusive to, people who have particularly limited experiences - young (like, teenager/early 20s), people who haven't lived in a diverse area or in multiple different areas, people who for whatever reason do not get out much - which both makes sense (haven't been exposed to a ton of different perspectives irl) but also means that you get people who, for all they may talk about global politics, kind of unconsciously seem to act as though everyone they interact with online is a variant of someone from the same 3000 person town in the United States in which they've spent all 21 years of their life. ANYWAY getting back to the main point I feel like Molly attracted a lot of that kind of person, who just...doesn't get that while Molly is, to them, a deeply validating expression of gender identity, for many people he is "guy you meet at your friend's birthday party in a two-bedroom 6 floor walk up and within 5 seconds he has pissed you off so profoundly with his overfamiliarity that you go into the kitchen and mainline as much vanilla vodka as possible to not stab this guy with a secondhand knife that says "CHEESE!" on it even though you hate vanilla vodka and it's summer in NYC and you're on the 6th floor in a small apartment with too many people so it's approximately 117 degrees Fahrenheit in this kitchen and the vodka isn't much cooler, and you succeed in this goal, and then after sending your friend who couldn't make it because they were at a family thing that weekend a picture of a rat on the tracks of the 3 train with a caption "this u?" at 1:54 in the morning you're like "so this guy Molly was there" and they're like "oh my god I met him at Cameron's last party, he SUCKS" and you're like "I KNOW". Like a lot of people just do not get that Molly was very popular with their circle, and also a lot of people either were neutral-to-not-feeling-it. This is before we get into the post-death idealization of who he was that takes him from "irritating but I think he'd have grown on me in some ways eventually had he lived" to "horrible and insufferable fake-ass bitch."

And then we get to the true impasse: the idea that something that does not fulfill every single one of your personal wishes might still be a great story.

I'm certainly not perfect, and there's things I thought I wanted for the end of C2 that I didn't get, and there's some things I do wish we'd have gotten to see (or that we'd have done in C3), but I like to think that I try to remain at least partially open to the possibilities. I like to think that my enjoyment of a story isn't contingent on whether one single character survives, even if they are my favorite (and I say this as someone whose favorite ASOIAF character was immediately Ned Stark, a statement that should surprise no one who follows me) nor that the story precisely reaffirms my existing worldview. I want stories to tell me something new and interesting that wouldn't come from my own head, and I want them to sell me on it. I think that a lot of people lost the thread of the importance of representation, namely, they forgot that while it's great to see people like you in a story, you should also be trying to see people not like you and perspectives that aren't yours. I am extremely defensive of my and other people's right to say "I didn't like this story and here is why" without someone being like "Give it a chance! Here's why I think it's good" but at the same time, there is a difference between "I really wish Molly had stayed alive and I don't like that he died," and "everything that happened after he died was A Mistake because it wasn't what I Wanted, and someone should fix this." Like that's what toddlers do. That's not an adult way of interacting with narrative.

So those people don't even get to the point of "the entire campaign is deeply influenced by the loss of Molly; that is what binds the rest of the Nein together and makes them what they are; the fact that Lucien wears the face of a departed friend is crucial to the entire final arc comprising about 20% of the campaign; and the fact that he does not come back, but someone new, with new chances and new choices to make does is emblematic of a campaign about people who find that they cannot undo their pasts, but neither are they trapped or damned by them." They're stuck at "guy I liked died and I'm throwing a tantrum 6 years later."

[weirdosinthestereo]

At Home Barista (Jake Seresin x F!Reader)

Author's note: Hello again! This is just a short story I thought would be cute. Gotta give all of Glen’s characters some love right? Here's a fluffy Jake Seresin drabble.

Warnings: None! Just fluff!

Jake was nervous as he set up everything. He hoped he had gotten everything she needed. “Calm down, she's going to love it!” Rooster said as he put ice in a cooler. They were celebrating your birthday today. It was the first one since you and Jake had gotten together a year ago. In that time, Jake had noticed just how much you loved coffee. Espresso, drip coffee, instant coffee, all of it! Jake had also watched you scrolling TikTok trying to find the best home espresso machine for months. Using people's opinions and videos to make a decision. Jake took matters into his own hands by buying you the machine you had been eyeing, the Breville Barista Express. The rest of the Dagger squad helped Jake get the rest of the pieces by buying something he had assigned to them. Now, Jake stood in front of the small coffee nook he had made in your shared kitchen. He had set up all your syrups, sauces, and other nick nacks in this dedicated area. It was perfect. Now, they just had to wait for you to get home.

“Hangman! Bring the burgers out here and quit rearranging that thing!” Coyote calls from the backyard. Jake huffs through nose and grabs the marinated burgers from the fridge.

While Coyote and Bob cooked, the rest of the group had some drinks and enjoyed the setting sun. “Who knew that Hangman of all people would be nervous about the gift he got his girl?” Phoenix jokes as she notices Jake constantly checking his phone to see if you're home. “This is serious! This is one of her favorite hobbies.. or obsession? Whichever makes more sense.” Jake jumps up, nearly spilling his beer when he hears a car door shut. “She's here!” He calls while running for the front door. The rest of your small group of friends huddle in the kitchen while they wait for you to come in.

“Jake? I thought we were getting together tomorrow?” You ask as he opens the front door. Jake smiles as he watches you come up the stairs. “Well, today is your actual birthday. We wanted to celebrate today!” Jake said as he got behind you and covered your eyes. “Jake Seresin! What have you done?” You asked playfully as you smiled and let Jake lead you around. Jake smirked as he led you to the kitchen, “Me? You know I'm the perfect little angel.”

Rooster scoffs at Jake's words, but smiles as he covers it with a cough when Jake glared at him. “Surprise!!” Everyone yells when Jake has you standing in front of the coffee nook. You stared shocked for a moment and then realized what they had all done. “Jake? Is this..? It is! You bought me that espresso machine I wanted?!” You asked excitedly as you looked at everything. Jake smirks as he nods, “Sure did baby girl. Everyone else bought other pieces to complete your little barista station. Now, you can practice all those recipes you've been looking at online.”

You turn and look at Jake with eyes full of love. Jake smiles cockily and opens his arms for you. He knew that look and laughed as you jumped on him and hugged him tightly. “Thank you! Thank you thank you thank you! I love it so much!” Jake couldn't help the small chuckles he let out as you pepper his face with kisses. You jump down and then hug everyone else on the Dagger squad for your gifts. Thanking them multiple times. You felt like they were your chosen family and it made your heart swell that they cared so much for you.

“Alright! Let's eat!” Jake said as he ushered everyone to the dining room where they had made a small buffet to make the burgers and hotdogs.

-_-_-Two Days Later-_-_-

“You okay there Hangman??” Bob asks as he watches Jake excitedly do his work. Jake had been rushing around all day and sporadically doing things.

“Yes!! Yes yes yes. I'm great! Never better! Hey! Don't mess up my clean floor!” Jake yells as he sees a rookie going to walk where he had just cleaned. Jake then decided the best course of action was to chase them down.

“He said he had a quad shot latte this morning and he usually doesn't drink a lot of coffee. Y/N has been feeding him coffee ever since the party to see if she is making it right.” Rooster explains with a shake of his head.

“He's not even assigned to clean the floors…” Bob says, confused as he watched Jake irritably clean the floor again where the rookie had been walking.

[rarepears]

I really don't know what to ask, this is my first time asking someone on tumblr, but I like your SJ having makeup sent by system(?), anyway, it'd be hella nice if the system records SJ putting makeup on (like he can't be bothered to talk like other influencers, just there for the ASMR) and the system edits it out to make it look like he's really doing it for content. SQQ, with his resting, beautiful, perfection bitch face, he gains lots of fans because of how ethereal he looks and that people doesn't even know anyone more beautiful than him. And in return for the (not sponsored) content, companies who sells high-quality products trips over themselves to collaborate with him and the system filtered out which company that could bring in money in equal parts, high-quality products for free lol. And then SJ's salary for having more than 200 millions (probably) of subscribers and millions of views, was also a staggering amount and then system converts it to PIDW money. Now SQQ is rich af for being an (unintentional) content creator. He was so famous yet no idea how until he was made aware of the system. Well, he will probably use it to his advantage of online shopping later and maybe ordering takeouts.

Thank you!! I'm glad you like it!

Does the system really edit though? Or... maybe the makeup review looks more fun and interesting if the "beauty blogger" is "cosplaying" and "acting like a xianxia" character while doing a beauty review. Looks at that acting!! Look at the amazing background props! It's like... v-tubers in 3D. So much cooler!!

Ahhh look how cool he is and how his reviews still remain as scathing as ever despite his insane stats and growing popularity! He might have 10 million followers now and over 10 billion views and been sponsored by Chanel makeup and Dior beauty, but he's still the same as ever! Still just as mysterious and effortlessly cool!

[starstruckmoony]

style.

masterlist

pairing - sirius black x fem!reader

summary - you and sirius start dating after accidentally running into each other at a concert but confirm nothing, just to watch everyone lose their shit online.

trope/tags - band/celeb!au, instagram/social media!au, modern!au, fluff, terrible humour

word count - 1k

warnings - language

part 1 / part 2 / part 3

yourusername

❤ liked by starmanblack, cissy_blck, r.a.black and 804,337 others

yourusername mirror's dirty but i felt pretty

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prongsyboy mama?

starmanblack PRONGS

user128836 i don't know the colour of anything

user702655 YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND????

user358991 sirius said smash and i agree

user073823 the only man we trust

user662627 i'm gonna clown so hard but why did half of sirius family like this post?

user491175 i almost sent a thirst tweet

starmanblack

❤ liked by yourusername, ev.rosier, marymacdonald and 799,853 others

starmanblack boyfriend vibes 😩

6,897 comments

yourusername very real

starmanblack i'm flattered

yourusername you better be

yourusername you still smell like horse tho

starmanblack go away

prongsyboy did you tell him i said hi?

starmanblack i got you his autograph

mmmckinnon you didn't even tag the photographer smh

starmanblack why are you offended in the name of the photographer?

mmmckinnon i'm just defending my wifey

casmeadowes i wasn't there???

user075764 DATE ME

user246766 you single?

user113388 he's dating y/n l/n

user300722 i volunteer to take your bf photos 🤚

user943534 CONFIRM THE RUMOURS I'M BEGGING

user855465 y/n has a boyfriend and you just put boyfriend in the caption so i'll live in delusion from now on

user464646 i wanna be a horse

prongsyboy added to their story

yourusername

❤ liked by starmanblack, pandorasbox, rjlupin and 844,008 others

yourusername london, i'm speechless. i had the most amazing time with all of you last night and i can't wait to perform for you again 💞 hearing you guys sing your hearts out with me was truly magical, thank you sooo much and i love love love every single one of you 💕 also! a special thanks that friend group from the first row who gave me a bunch of plushies, my heart is extra happy 😚

tagged ev.rosier

8,677 comments

starmanblack i was there, i can confirm

yourusername I COULDN'T SEE YOU IN THE CROWD AT FIRST AND I GOT SO SAD

starmanblack lol i love you sm

starmanblack my guitar fits your aesthetic nicely

yourusername i know right?!? me and her were meant to be

marymacdonald when i say best concert of my life i mean it

yourusername i don't deserve you

bartyyy first row seats hmghnhm 😩

yourusername perks of dating the photographer

ev.rosier you're welcome bartemius

user201010 i cried ugly tears

user927161 i formally apologise to the people who were near me 💀

user472738 ARE Y'ALL SEEING THIS??? THEY'RE DEFO DATING

user928312 YOU PLAYED MY FAVOURITE SONG AND I WASN'T THERE 😭😭😭

user446286 one of those plushies was from meeeee

user018381 lost my voice but it feels so right

starmanblack

❤ liked by yourusername, marymacdonald, lily_evans and 810,777 others

starmanblack ok.

7,995 comments

yourusername he loves you

starmanblack he bit my converse

yourusername it was an act of love

starmanblack AND HE STOLE ONE OF MY DOCS

yourusername IT. WAS. AN. ACT. OF. LOVE.

yourusername bet you deserved that

starmanblack you were just saying he loves me?

yourusername was i though?

vance_emm what in the gaslighting hell is going on above me?

r.a.black wdym? i'm loving it

user242539 i've yet to see a normal picture of this little guy

user301453 THE BICKERING LMAOOO

user463646 HELP HE'S VIOLATING YOU

user857433 he's in his reputation era

user302770 THIS DOG PLS

yourusername added to their story

celeb_gossip

♡ 37,022 likes

celeb_gossip a scandal is on its way! 👀 there's been word on the street that sirius black and y/n l/n have had a little something going on since the beginning of the year, and we are almost certain that this isn't just another case of senseless rumours. 🙈 other than constantly interacting with one another on social media, the two have been pictured entering l/n's apartment after what seemed like a romantic night out. 😌 several sources can prove that the couple has been caught in ways that scream everything BUT platonic, and we deem them quite credible. 😉 but in the light of all of this, the two singers haven't said anything. what do you think? 🤔 are they secretly together? 🤭 or are they secretly laughing at all of us? 😶 leave your opinion in the comments! 😘

12,558 comments

user438185 oH

user019570 EVERYBODY STAY CALM

user837999 i hope they sue you lol

user262626 they're defo laughing at us

user823715 THE POWER THESE TWO WOULD HOLD AS A COUPLE

user192072 LMAO THEY'D BREAK THE INTERNET IF THEY CONFIRMED IT

user137753 get a life wtf

user020191 pretty sure they're together

user647275 this is out of line

user244411 nah cause paps should be illegal

user302906 I NEED THEM TO SAY SOMETHING I'M LITERALLY FREAKING OUT

user522727 dunno but i want whatever they have going on

yourusername

❤ liked by bellatrixieb, cissy_blck, r.a.black and 855,006 others

yourusername tea pages are saying that i'm dating this weirdo 🤪

tagged starmanblack

10,675 comments

starmanblack people just love being funny

yourusername making me shed tears

starmanblack you could have found a better picture at least 🙄

yourusername fym? this is top tier stuff

starmanblack you're not getting your shades back

yourusername funny 🤣 i'll steal them back today 😐

vance_emm yeah and i'm a hamster

marymacdonald you kind of look like one though 🥺

mmmckinnon LMAOOOOO

starmanblack not you talking

mmmckinnon lmaoing ≠ talking

user283800 guess this confirms it ☹

user916373 WHY DO REG AND SIRIUS' COUSINS KEEP LIKING ALL YOUR POSTS THIS MAKES ME CONFUSEDDDD

user758234 does this mean you're free to date me?

user424116 YOU'RE TROLLING US

user021725 double meaning? (pls say sike i'm desperate)

user024477 calling sirius up rn

user555641 GUYS THERE'S STILL HOPE MAYBE THEY'RE JOKING AROUND

user828295 okay but does it actually matter 💀

starmanblack

❤ liked by lily_evans, pandorasbox, casmeadowes and 873,253 others

starmanblack feeding the paps

11,994 comments

yourusername bet they're still starving

starmanblack we should make out and post it

yourusername twitter will go CRAZYYY

yourusername we look dead tho

starmanblack i reckon it's the cheap wine

yourusername you calling me poor?

starmanblack 😇

prongsyboy i still don't get how or why you had my glasses

starmanblack aesthetic purposes

xeno_lovegood that's cute 🤩

starmanblack facts ong fr fr

cissy_blck reggie's sil

bellatrixieb i'm so jealous

user472721 I WANT

user882923 I CAN'T DECIDE WHO THE LUCKY ONE IS

user382541 NAUR STOP MESSING WITH US

user773724 WHATTGEDHQUXJQDJJQSJJW

user482972 OH MY GOD?????????

user362613 narcissa's comments making me all hopeful

user924474 I'M SO STRESSED

starmanblack added to their story

[ghostofbambifanfiction]

Have another snippet as a treat

Lily Evans: God, we're both such dweebs. I mean, you're much cooler than I am, but still.

James Potter: not true at all, i'm a massive dork, i just happen to play a lot of sports, so people who don't know me well don't spot it straight away

Lily Evans: And you're stupidly attractive, which isn't often expected of massive dorks because we live in a society that unfairly pigeonholes people into boxes based upon their perceived attractiveness. This I say as I shop for makeup online. I know I'm part of the problem.

James Potter: what does "stupidly" attractive mean? i'd love a definition

[luvhughes43]

For Nico and Blake can u do something where she faints? In front of her brothers and Nico? Maybe they are at the lake house for the summer?

[blake hughes au]

blake was feeling sick all week. her back was sore again, and she swore she was coming down with a cold. however, being sick didn't exempt her from her brothers summer festivities. which is why, with a high fever and an aching back, blake was being dragged out onto the boat to go wake-surfing.

"the breeze with make you feel better," quinn says, urging her onto the boat with the rest of the crew. blake tries to hide her discomfort but to no avail. the harsh sun hitting her from every angle quickly becomes too much.

"i really... don't feel good," blake says tiredly as the boat speeds up.

"do you need water?" nico asks as he reaches into the cooler to fetch her a bottle.

"no.. i just..." quinn drives against a harsh wave, causing everyone standing to stumble.

blake falls hard.

"quinn stop!" jack shouts, being the first to come to their senses. he crouches down beside the passed out blake and quickly grabs his towel to shield his sister from the sun.

nico rushes to blakes side next, two water bottles firmly in his hands. he doesn't say anything as he holds one of the cold bottles up to his girlfriends forehead.

"shit," trevors voice is loud and grating as everyone tries to get blake out of the suns rays. "we have to raise her legs," he urges, crouching down in front of the girl.

"raise her legs? the fuck are you talking about" jack's voice is sharp.

"i read about it online it's supposed to help-"

"blake!" nico's voice is relieved as he leans back from the sick girl. he cracks open the water bottle not pressed against blake and brings it to her lips.

she's groggy and confused for a minute before she takes in her surroundings. "why am i on the ground ?"

"you passed out baby, but you're okay now. quinn's going to take us back to the house," nico explains calmly as he pushes blakes hair out of her face.

everyone moves out of the couples way once they realize nico's got a handle on things. quinn drives the boat as smoothly as possible on the way home.

"blake i'm so sorry for making you come with us," quinn apologizes profusely as nico helps her step off the boat.

"it's okay," blake replies meekly. "i'll see you guys later?"

the boys all nod before nico walks blake up to the house.

-

-

-

[hotasfahrenheit]

a red devil dahlia by any other name

hi hello anyeong it's me your favourite neighbourhood florist who watches BL!

i'm catching up on Meet You At The Blossom right now on my lunch breaks at work (on days i'm not watching whatever Important Currently Airing Show Came Out That Day) and the flower they're using for the Red Devil Dahlia caught my eye!

so what we actually have here is not any kind of dahlia, but is in fact a real flower- that's a South African flower called the King Protea! it's even the national flower of South Africa.

they look pretty wild and come in a few different colours (we had light pink ones with pink centers we were putting in valentine's day arrangements at the shop i work at) and according to wikipedia it "grows in a harsh environment with dry, hot summers and wet, cold winters", so it has been able to be adapted to other locations and it's grown outside of South Africa now in various places around the world.

from this florist website, Maui Floral, king proteas "have the largest flower heads in the genus Protea, ranging from 5 to 12 inches in diameter. the flower heads are actually composite flowers, with multiple smaller flowers arranged in the center surrounded by large, colorful bracts on the outside. they have thick stems which extend deep underground; a survival mechanism for wildfires, since these stems can sprout subterranean buds that will then grow into new plants after a fire".

looking up flower meaning on the internet can be a little dicey since there's plenty of different traditions for meanings of flowers and flower language, plus people will just make stuff up and post it online, but most things i'm seeing agree that proteas represent change and transformation.

also, if you haven't seen a dahlia before, here's some actual red dahlias for comparison-

they are pretty decently sized flowers, but are typically much smaller than the protea, and far more delicate, with a short season of availability, so for the practicality of filming purposes, using something that dries well in a way that makes it easy to keep around and have on set as a prop like a king protea and that looks magical and wild makes a lot of sense.

but yeah! proteas are cool!

from the florist side of things, king protea can be mildly tricky to work with because the heads are very dense, which makes them top heavy, but they have thick, sturdy stems which is a good balance. dahlias, in comparison, are a much more delicate flower, with stems that can break easily, and once they are past their prime freshness, they shatter and all the petals start to fall off, sometimes all at once. proteas are considered a tropical flower, and we store them in our mildly cool tropical cooler at work with orchids and other tropical flowers instead of in our colder coolers for regular flowers.

tune in whenever i make another flowers in BL post i guess? who knows when that will be! maybe these will just be grouped by the generalness of flowers in BL since i did a post on that flower basket in the first episode of 4Minutes a few weeks ago and now this.

anyway cheers! 🌸🌼🌺🌷🌹

[trigunsbbygirl]

More Reverse Isekai Hcs with the Twins

another one with more focus on Vash, but Nai is there too. V relationship with reader so absolutely nothing going on with the twins.

also mention a not sfw song at the very end

•Vash loves window shopping. there's so many interesting things on Earth! Vash drags you around to each store and always ooo's and ahh's at everything. obsessed with stickers and animal shaped things (especially when it comes to cooking.)

•he bought animal cookie cutters and immediately tried them out and was both slightly disappointed and dying of laughter when the cookies came out way rounder than when they went in. Vash frosts them very seriously either way, holding in laughter at how they look. he can't hold it any longer when you catch his attention, holding up what was meant to be a bear, decorated with nothing but a small 'c:' on its face. you're wavering straight face and almost serious voice saying "he chonky" has him losing it.

•every once in a while when Vash is putting something in the oven, he'll quote that copypasta "Why do they call it oven when you of in the cold food of out hot eat the food?" Nai wants to smack him everytime he says it.

•speaking of, Vash quite likes internet language. he's not excessive with using them, but sometimes Vash'll be like 'look at the doggo/pupper!' he also starts saying lol and pog. he doesn't say them in public much though. he's still trying to learn about the difference in online culture and offline culture.

•unlike Nai, Vash finds merchandise fascinating. he loves looking at plushies, figurines and charms, he thinks it's all so cool! Vash buys you all matching phone charms. it makes him so happy whenever he spots it dangling from yours and Nai's phones.

•but speaking of, Vash finds out about the figurines of himself and if he can, he's absolutely buying them. he's looking at them and is all like damn I look so cool! and rubs it in Nai's face that he has not only more, but cooler figurines.

•Vash recreates the poses of them too, aiming his finger gun at you, before yelling out a bang, lifting his arm up in fake recoil. you gasp, griping at your torso, dramatically falling to the floor. "help me Nai, I've been shot!"

Nai rolls his eyes at the two of yours antics, making his way towards you and picking you up. As he makes his way towards your bedroom he says, "I have to give her medical attention, don't bother us."

Vash's eyes widen as he gets up to follow Nai. "Now wait a second!"

•the dorks actually do know how to share you. it was a little rough at the beginning but they've learned and figured things out pretty well! they don't fight for your attention, but they do get a little jealous, and pouty if you give too much attention to the other often. they're both pretty touch starved so good luck lol. however they do read eachother well and know when not to try and get your attention from the other.

•Vash would've loved the time when mustaches and the peace symbol were insanely popular.

•speaking of mustaches, Vash once came home wearing one of those fake glasses with mustache and nose disguises. when you turned to welcome him home he responded with a serious face, "who is Vash?" you fake a gasp asking who he is and what he's doing there. before Vash can respond, Nai is getting up with a grin on his face. "well since we don't know him, we can kick him out and make sure he can never get back in."

Vash nervously laughs, waving his hands, "we don't need to go that far haha.."

Nai laughs back mockingly,"why not? you are breaking into our house, stranger."

Vash immediately yanks the glasses off, "look! its me! Vash!" you gasp and run up to him, hugging his side. "Vash! there was a tall scary stranger in here! I'm glad you're here to help Nai protect me!"

Nai watches as Vash coddles you. he'd be lying to himself if he said he hated the antics you two do. he watches you give Vash a kiss on the cheek before walking over and pulling you away from Vash. "I'm the one that protected you, why are you praising him?" he asks, staring at you with narrowed eyes. Nai may look angry but really, he just wants kisses too.

•Vash loves bees! he'll go out to the little garden he's been working on and watch as bees and butterflies come by. it's one of his favorite pastimes.

•Vash is very involved with the community. he always offers the neighbors any extra food he's made and seeing if anyone needs help. he's happy to mow someone's lawn or weed a garden and do any small chores someone may be unable to do. Vash also goes around and tries to volunteer a lot since he can't really work. as much as he likes exploring hobbies, he gets a little restless being at home so much.

•Vash wants to try eating everything and that doesn't just include meals. somehow Vash learned that dandelions are edible and the next time you two take a walk, before you truly realize it, you're watching Vash shove the yellow part of a dandelion flower into his mouth.

•but seriously he really does want to try eating different plants. Vash does a lot of research and is always giving Nai suggestions of foods to incorporate into meals.

•if Vash could, I could absolutely see him working in the medical department as a pediatrician. he loves kids a lot and he's great at playing with kids, comforting them and making sure they feel as happy as they possibly can be at the hospital. he always jokes around with them, gets to know each kid he works with and always tries to be there for them when they're sad or scared.

•likewise, I know I said Nai would work at a book store, but I like to imagine Nai could become a surgeon. he's not lost to the irony in it, that he's saving lives, but it's just something he's taken an interest in. he wants to learn about human anatomy. (idk how to explain it really but it just makes sense to me. he'd be good at it too, never gets tired, steady hands, keen eyes, very precise)

•prank Vash a little bit when it comes to the modern era. tell him that when the plane lands everybody claps and applauds the pilots. Vash almost did that the first time he went flying, he lifted his hands up, but he was confused when no one started clapping. he catches on quickly that it was a prank.

•Vash combusts if you ever sing E.T by Katy Perry. stare at him as you sing it and he'll get so red in the face. he's covering his face with his hands and curling into himself and whining out to stop.(he doesn't want you to though)

•same with if you prank him and show him that The Bad Touch by Bloodhound Gang. go up to him and tell him you have a cool popular song to show and he lights up, Vash likes pretty much all of the songs you show him. when the song starts, he's bopping his head to the beat and tells you, smiling, it's cool so far. then the lyrics start and Vash's smile immediately falls and he blushes so hard. he can't even look at you and you're laughing your ass off at his reaction.

•Nai, the boring fucker, would just raise an eyebrow at you. he either doesn't fall for your pranks or just has no reaction. shame.

[noisyquokka]

Winner Winner

PAIRING - Mark x GN!Reader

SYNOPSIS - When you and Mark made a bet on who could create the better Halloween costume, neither of you expected to take it so seriously.

WORDCOUNT - 2.2k

WARNINGS - NOT PROOFREAD cause life has been busy srry, kinda fluffy, banter/shit-talking, friendly competition, established friendship, but we ain't afraid to talk up our boy when he's looking damn foine 😈😩

A/N - I watched the Ghost Rider movies again recently and yeah... Mark Lee in all leather, anyone?

"Damn!! I know you said you were going all out, but I didn't think you meant cosmic horrors."

You smile to yourself at Mark's praises, adding on the finishing touches to your makeup and special effects.

"Listen, never underestimate a bad bitch with a game plan, okay." You say, laser focused on what you were doing before turning to your best friend. You stop short, eyebrows raising at his choice of costume.

When you and Mark made a bet on who could create the best Halloween costume, part of you hadn't expected him to take it so seriously either. But seeing him in the reflection of the bathroom mirror doused all your thoughts. 

If someone were to look between you two, it's clear that your costume turned into a full-on art project. You had gone out and bought the different materials needed — be it fabrics for the outfit, special effects, wiring for the headpiece and caging around your torso — and spent upwards of two months to make everything as you imagined it in your head. The blueprints still sit in your room under a heap of fabric cuttings, and now you stand in your bathroom donning the finished product. You are a true Eldritch Horror.

That's not to say Mark didn't put a good amount of effort into his costume. You give him a once over, nodding to yourself. 

"You really put your whole Markussy into that, huh."

You hear him snort behind the skeletal mask, the sound making your lips pull back in an impressed smirk.

"I told you I was serious this year," He says, voice slightly muffled as he holds his arms out in a show of confidence. "This is gonna get me so many points tonight!" 

Indeed, Mark Lee was feeling himself in his chosen DIY costume. How couldn't he when he was head to toe in all-black leather? Ghost Rider wasn't the top thought when someone says Marvel — less so when it came to movie adaptations — but you and Mark watched the movies often. Even so, you hadn't thought of that as a potential costume. But damn, did he pull it off. 

"Damn, where'd you get the mask from? It's so detailed..." You bring a hand up to feel the skull, a rough texture under your fingertips. The jaw moves as he speaks,

"An old friend of mine. Bro's got a lot of horror costumes and stuff from conventions." It wasn't cheap, in fact it was so well detailed that you couldn't see it being from a costume store or online shop. That was hand-crafted with love over a few weeks, at the very least.

Then there was the leather jacket with the black tee underneath. The perfect pairing. The perfect fit. You took note of the familiar spikes embellishing the shoulders of the jacket, thrifted from one of your old belts. So that's what he wanted it for... A nice attention to detail, you admit. The chain wraps around his shoulder and over his chest, gloved hands adjusting the links as you glance down. And then the pants... 

"Those aren't actual biker pants are they?"

"They are, but I bought the cooler looking ones."

You chuckle, raising a brow. 

"Ah, the modern Johnny Blaze..." You trail off, taking a closer look. "And your high-top sneaks really bring the whole thing together!"

"Okay, that sounded condescending." He mutters, and you laugh, poking him in the shoulder.

"What!? You look good, is all I'm saying."

"Thank you!"

"And I apologize in advance for all the candy I'm bringing home tonight. I spent too much time and effort on this costume to not win!" You turn back to the mirror, giving yourself one last look before you add the fully furnished headpiece.

The base is just wires weaved together, but you had taken the time to mask over the skeleton to build up a mass of branching horns and a voided curtain of dead eyes within galaxies. It took hours upon hours of adding layers to an everchanging mountainous piece, you almost felt as if you were back in school crafting with papier-mâché. This was just more entertaining.

"Shit, what the fuck are you even supposed to be?"

You smirk, adjusting the thing to your skull until it's comfortable enough.

"An ancient entity incomprehensible to the whole of humanity."

"Right, duh." Mark jokingly smacks the front of his mask, shaking his head. You chuckle at that, turning on your heels. You tap his shoulder as you leave the bathroom.

"You ready to watch me win this thing?" You ask, to which Mark scoffs at your confidence.

"Now hold on, I've got more than just this," He gestures to his outfit, bringing a hand to the side of the skull. You hear a subtle click and suddenly the eyes and top of the skull is aglow in orange. After another beat, you see the smoke dispersing through the same locations. 

"I can totally see you passing out from smoke inhalation within the hour."

"It's not in the mask, it's rigged through a compartment on the side. I'll be winning within the hour though." He replies. You can hear the grin behind his words.

"Sure, keep telling yourself that!"

—

"Who's gonna tell the health-nuts that no one wants celery stalks on Halloween?" Mark groans, glancing down into his bag of candy. He pulls a Nature Valley bar out with visible disgust, the sounds of shrieks and youngsters laughing in the night fill your ears. "Look at this, nah bro!"

"At least it's not dental floss!" You snatch the bar from him, the infamous green wrapper crunching in your grip. You tear the package with ease, cursing as the snack falls onto the street like sawdust.

"Dude!" Mark huffs, watching you bring the opened end of the wrapper to your open mouth. You wave him off, attempting to wipe any crumbs from your costume.

"I went to the same houses as you. If you want it so badly, I'll give you the three in my bag."

The street lights glow warm against the asphalt below, illuminating the cul-de-sac you two chose for this year's trick-or-treat festivities. Over the past hour, you both had decided to go house to house separately. Most of the people who you came across praised your costume for its creative freedom. A few houses gave you extra candy for it. That was extra points in your book! Mark was doing about the same as you, his bag filled roughly half way. Trying to trust each other's word for what people said about your costumes was a joke though. You both regrouped at a street corner, talking shit about the reactions you both told one another. As if it was so hard to believe either of you got a thumbs up for your chosen characters.

Now you sit on the curb (or rather, Mark sits and you stand due to costume restrictions... a major penalty to your points, he'd said) to the block you've yet to venture around, digging through the various types of candy and fruit snacks and weird shit people decide is a good Halloween handout. 

"Why do people even buy those carrot sticks?" His voice is laced with frustration, pulling the snack pack out of his candy haul. "Like, who actually eats these for fun?"

"People who like the spicy crunch of raw carrot." You reply, reaching for his gloved hand again. But he's learned this time, pulling away.

You dig through your bag, pulling out a pack of Skittles and shaking them in his direction. Mark sits there for a moment, foot tapping as he takes a moment to think about your offer. Gloved fingers twitch in a come hither motion; the finality of the trade off.

"Couldn't trust me to trade with you once we get back to my place?" You tease.

"Not after the Nature Valley bar."

"You didn't even want it." You scoff, tossing the pack of candy as he tosses the carrots at you. Ever the savior you are. Your attention tracks to the houses that you have yet to raid, watching a group of young kids skip up the drive and rush the door.

"How much longer you wanna do this?" You ask. Mark shrugs, glancing at his phone. 

"It's coming up on 8:30... think we could make it through this entire block by nine?" You tilt your head slightly, inky fingers holding up the tote on your person.

"Bet, this entire block is done in ten minutes and we bail." You offer your free hand that Mark takes, tugging him to his feet. With determined strides, the two of you start for the first house on the block. 

The houses all look the same as you move down the street, the only difference being the appearance of adorned exteriors. You could tell which households went all out for the season and which didn't based on the decorations. A mass of projections in windows and four-hundred dollar giant skeletons in front yards could only be cool for so long. In reality, you preferred the homes that put a little charm in their decorating. Cotton spiderwebs and spooky ghosts hanging in bare trees. A few creepy animatronics and a scarecrow with pumpkins on the doorstep to pull it all together. Just a little charm, like this next house you're coming up to. 

A group of kids race past you and Mark, their feet pounding against the pavement as they cut through the yard of the nearest house. You can hear them yell a trick or treat as you both walk up the driveway, and just from their mannerisms you could tell they were teens. The door opens to an elderly woman dressed like the old woman from Snow White, long hooked nose and all. She mumbles something about their costumes and asks how their nights have been as she hands each a handful of candy, and the group hops off the steps, racing into the night like a pack of feral cats.

"Well, look at you two!" Your ears perk as you and Mark turn back to the old woman at the door, disbelief on your face at what just occurred. She gives you a toothy grin, very in character for her costume, waving you up onto the porch with a gusto unlike someone her age.

"Is it too late to say trick or treat?" You joke, taking the steps carefully so you don't trip in your draped fabrics. The woman laughs good-naturedly, her smile widening as you ascend the steps.

"It's never too late, dears!" She replies, holding out the bucket of goodies. "What are we this year, then?" You can't help but grin back at the woman. Her joy for the holiday is infectious as she takes in your costumes with twinkling eyes.

"You'll never guess mine, but Mark here is a-"

"Bro!" Mark smacks your shoulder, voided eyes staring back at you.

"What?" 

The old woman chuckles as he takes his handful of candy from the bowl. 

"Could we ask you who's is better, Miss?" Mark glances between you both before looking to the woman once more. A wide smile pulls at her cheeks, her laugh warming you like a fresh-baked apple pie.

"Well, now that's too difficult of a question to answer! I think the two of you look just great, and that's all there is to it." Her smile is contagious and you catch yourself grinning back. 

"That's very kind of you, Miss." You tell her, reaching for your own handful of candy. "Thank you!"

"You two have a great night now, stay safe!" She says, watching you both step off the porch. Once you're far enough from the door, Mark leans in. 

"So what she meant to say was my costume was better, but she's just too sweet of a woman to break your heart."

"Oh stop!"

"I think she was hitting on me." You scoff at that.

"She couldn't even see your face, Mark."

"Don't need to when I got all this to back me up." He says, gesturing to himself like he's the absolute shit.

"So you're trying to say that the Grannies love you?" You ask, raising a brow. He brings a gloved hand to his chest, rattling the chain links across the leather.

"They're busting down my door." He says, tone serious as ever. 

"They have arthritis, they can't bust down doors." You counter, turning up the next driveway.

"They can if they're determined enough!" He says, chasing after you.

You and Mark power through the rest of the block, your minds buzzing from the few pieces of candy you'd snuck from your bags. In the last twenty minutes you're sure you collected enough candy to make a toddler bounce off the walls... and a few more Nature Valley bars that Mark will complain about.

You're ready to retire for the night, a successful Halloween, you think. The lights are already out on many houses as you both trek back to the car and a couple of older kids are still shuffling up to doors in hopes of scoring some last minute treats.

"So it's safe to say I won with all the candy in my bag." You say, jostling the tote in your hand with a smirk.

"We haven't even counted out our bags, you haven't won yet!" 

"I have to get all this stuff off when I get home! I am not sitting down to count my candy, bro!"

"I'll do it, then." He replies, unlocking the car. You bark out a laugh, pulling on the passenger side door.

"Yeah, I trust you to not cheat." 

"You wanna win or not?"

"...Yes."

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