#i've been meaning to send an ask myself for so many years now but i can never find the proper words so uh

[murderous-coffeebean]

Every time I see someone address @neil-gaiman with "Lord Gaiman" or something similar, I can't help but immediately envision the exchange kind of like that :D

Neil Gaiman © himself / art © Murderous-Coffeebean (tumblr & dA)

[remcycl333]

my sp story <3

hi besties! if you've been following my blog for a while you know that i've been single for a while, partly because i like to be independent and single, and partly because i just didn't like anyone. obviously i could just manifest a guy out of thin air, but when im not confronted face to face with a crush then i just don't care about being in a relationship so i never manifested someone out of thin air lol

but then a couple of weeks ago i was at the movies with my friends, and there were couples cuddling around us and i was like "aw :( kinda wish i had a bf now." and what do we do when we feel any type of desire? we immediately fulfill ourselves, no matter how "small" the desire is! so that's what i did. i imagined for like two seconds that i was cuddling with a boy at the theaters, and then i got distracted by the movie and forgot all about it

then like 15 minutes later, a guy that i'd had a crush on four years ago randomly slid into my dms. i never pursued him four years ago bc my bff at the time had dibs on him, but we're not friends anym and haven't been for years so it was my time to shine!!!

anyway, we talk for like a week. i know this guy is funny and shit bc of when we hung out irl, but like all he's sending me are unfunny memes that don't really warrant a response. so it was kinda tough

and this is the part where you guys are going to yell at me!!! i was like oh i should use my manifestation skills and make sure this goes smoothly....but then i was like nah im just gonna go with the flow 😭😭😭 and i know you guys are like REM!!!! u manifest EVERYTHING u can't just turn it off!!!! anyway.....long story short a week into us talking this mf randomly blocks me!!!!

so im instantly like 🙄🙄 damn fine i'll manifest him back bc im stubborn and do not like being told no in my reality

so how did i do it? how did i manifest him back?

if you guys have followed me for a while, you know that i manifested an sp a couple years ago by simply affirming "i love [his name] so much" any time i'd think of him and this would conjure the feeling of the wish fulfilled. (NOT mindless affirming. i'd say it maybe two or three times to catch the feeling and then move on)

ANYWAY so that's what i did! and let me tell you....i was not "perfect" by any means 😭 in fact this manifestation really kinda opened my eyes on how EASY manifestation truly is. like i already knew how easy it was, but damn!

if you know that your desire is promised and that it is coming because you gave it to yourself in imagination (even ONCE) ... there is NOTHING that will stop it. i was gonna make a separate post on this and i tried but i just couldn't articulate it correctly so im going to try again:

it took 12 days to manifest him to unblock me and message me. im sure it would've taken a shorter amount of time if i was more disciplined with myself but it's kinda crazy bc of how UNdisciplined i was 😭 tbh i was just kinda like...unsure if i even wanted to manifest him at all bc thats how much i value my alone time and my independence lol

anyway, i always get asks from people who are stressed and anxious bc they think that in order to manifest your desire, you can never enter the state of lack ever again and that dwelling in negative thoughts will "ruin" your manifestations. but i am here to tell you IT DOES NOT MATTER!!! you do not need to be "perfect"!!!! as long as you are staying faithful to the idea that you have your desire in the 4d, it'll manifest in the 3d.

another thing i see so many people confused and stressed about is whether or not they're naturally thinking from the state. for instance, every time you think of your sp, you think from the end of being in a relationship with them, before you think of the fact that you're not together yet. and let me tell you....while this CAN happen, it's not always gonna happen and it's not necessary. let me tell you, the DAY before my sp reached out, and even the day that he did....i would catch myself thinking about how we weren't together! but the gag is....YOUR THOUGHTS DON'T MANIFEST!!!! yes, they indicate what state you're in, but the actual thoughts themselves don't mean shit!!! they don't manifest. they just don't!

so i'd shift back to the state of being my sp's girlfriend when i'd have these thoughts, but i was fully aware we were not together in my 3d and i never naturally thought of us as being together before i saw any evidence of it in my 3d. all i had was the knowing that my inner man was with my sp, and that since i'd decided i had it in imagination, it would push out into my 3d. because that's how the law works!!! and honestly, that's all you really need. you just need to know that since you gave yourself your desire in your imagination ONE TIME, it WILL manifest. and if you have a true understanding of how the law works and you've read source, you will have no trouble knowing that it will come.

you also do NOT need to be in the state of the wish fulfilled 24/7!!! at all!!!! i cannot stress this enough. and tbh i used to feel the same. i felt like i had to be aware of having my desire in imagination 24/7 or else it wouldn't come. i thought i couldn't perceive the lack or opposite in my 3d or else it wouldn't manifest (see this post about dismissing the 3d btw if u need help with that). but the gods honest truth is that all you need to do is DECIDE you have your desire in imagination & not take no for an answer & KNOW that your desire is GOING TO REFLECT IN YOUR 3D NO MATTER WHAT!!!!

and that's not to say that you wont still get anxious and have intrusive thoughts and be like "oh god what if it never manifests." like... im human and i had those human moments. but i just reminded myself that i know the law and ive proven it to myself many times and i know that it had to manifest.

anyway. back to my sp story!

so for these 12 days that im blocked (lmfao) all i did was affirm "i love [his name] so much" whenever i thought of him until i caught the feeling of the wish fulfilled. that's it. and i knew for a fact that he was mine in the 4d and therefore we'd be together in the 3d bc that's the law!

anyway on friday (5 days ago) at 8pm? im scrolling thru the ulta app and then im like "oh i havent fulfilled myself today i dont think" so i fulfilled myself for like 2 seconds and then get distracted by some product and then two minutes later i get a notif that this guy followed me and then dmed me 😭

it's funny cuz my irls don't know about the law of assumption so i sent them a screenshot and i was like "look who came crawling back" and they were like BOOOOO!!! and i was like no guys!!!!! i created the blocking and i created this like i promise we can trust him 😭😭 hahahaha

anyway. let me tell you. if you are manifesting an sp, DO NOT DO THAT SHIT IN STEPS!!!!! i mean, if you really want to, i can't stop you, but i really don't recommend it.

with my old sp (the one from two years ago) i'd always manifest contact and then get it, and then he'd ghost me and and id have to manifest contact again and it'd be a never ending cycle!!! bc i was just focusing on contact, not on how i felt or how he felt about me.

the reason i loveeee to affirm "i love my sp so much" INSTEAD OF "HE loves ME so much" is because it helps me catch the feeling of the wish fulfilled so much more. not only that, but because remember, THERE IS NO ONE TO CHANGE BUT SELF!!!! changing the way i see my sp and the way i feel about him is all i need to do. im not trying to change him and make him love me lol. this is about me and my inner reality, not him! he'll reflect whatever i am in the 4d

another reason i love affirming this is because TO ME, this is what implies we are already together. whenever im in a relationship, i always find myself laying around all giddy thinking about how obsessed with my bf i am and how i love him so much. so i emulate that when im manifesting an sp.

and it's PERFECT because by jumping straight to the end where we're already together, i don't have to focus on all the things that lead to us being in a relationship. i don't have to manifest him following me, or texting me, or asking me on a date. these things all just happen naturally bc im living in the end.

NOT TO MENTION, it naturally turns your sp into your perfect partner? like remember when i said when we were talking before he blocked me he was kinda dry and he'd just send memes that i didn't find funny? THIS DUDE DID A COMPLETE 180!!!

he's sooo funny, he is the OPPOSITE of dry, he is everything???? and im obsessed.

anyway he unblocked me and dmed me, and then asked for my number and we had such funny and cute convos and then boom 4 days later he asks me on a date and i say no (😭😭😭😭 i was busy) but i agreed to go on a date the next day and the way this boy showed pure unencumbered excitement 🥺 im obsessed

anyway im sorry this is so long? i really just wanted to share how all i did was apply what i've been preaching about on this blog for years and it worked out flawlessly! hopefully this gives you guys some good tips and maybe motivation? <3

[iamthat-iam]

Real vs Unreal 🤯

Jade has been in the LOA community for over a year now. It opened her up to many different possibilities, such as shifting to the MCU (Marvel Universe) where she is a superhero with super strength, super speed, and the ability to fly.

Everyday when she wakes up, and before she goes to bed, she does an intense visualization of this reality. Each time she does it, her "current reality" seems to disappear, until she opens her eyes. She knows that she's so close yet so far from shifting there! She decides to go on Tumblr and ask for advice.

She comes across some intriguing ND posts that say "You must collapse the duality between physical vs imagination and real vs unreal" and "All experiences are the same, no matter the label. Seeing a car in a 'daydream' is no different than seeing one 'in real life.'"

This seems to be different than what she learned from LOA, with the existence of a 3D/4D and 'fulfilling your imagination until it shows up in the physical.' She sends a blogger a question out of curiosity.

"Hi! I know that this is not a shifting blog, but I wanted clarification on a few things. For over a year now, I've been trying to shift to the Marvel Universe, where I'm a superhero with powers. Everyday I do a visualization where I am experiencing these things. I just saw your post that says all experiences are the same, and how seeing something in imagination is the same as real life. Does this mean the whole time I was visualizing myself in that reality, I was already experiencing that? It was real? I also want to know how imagination and physical are the same. Thank you." She inquired.

The blogger responds with, "Yes you already experienced it. The reason why there's no physical vs imagination is because your awareness, your true nature, is present during all appearances that come and go. We've just labelled certain appearances real or not real based on certain ideas we picked up through life. For example, many people think that experiences are only real when you are awake and you seem to be living through the 5 senses. They were also taught that things like fairies, dragons, supernatural abilities aren't real, so when they hear stories about people experiencing those things, it's a huge shock for them. But in reality, nothing is objectively real or unreal, all experiences are possible for awareness. You (as awareness, THAT, or " ") are the ONLY thing that is truly real. As the ultimate authority, only you can decide what is "true" for you or not."

Jade decides to take some time to really think about what this blogger said. Everything they said is a complete 180 from what Jade thought she knew about life and how reality works. So that means this entire time, she was already in the MCU? And the MCU is apparently just as real as what Jade calls "real life?" That is truly an interesting concept to ponder! The one thing that has Jade stumped, however, is the fact that she opens her eyes and continues to see her old life. She goes back to the blogger to ask about this.

"That's really interesting how I already experienced being in the MCU! So this technically means I can tell someone I "shifted" there, and they couldn't accuse me of lying? Also, I'm a bit confused on why whenever I open my eyes after visualizing, I still see my old life," She questioned the blogger.

"To answer your first question, no, they can't accuse you of 'lying' because that was a valid experience for you. The idea that you have to experience "shifting symptoms" or enter the void state to "experience another world" is limiting, and creates a barrier between you and whatever you want to experience. This is no disrespect to that community, if they want to "shift" or "enter the void state" to experience things, that is totally up to them. But ND is about not labelling experiences, and not treating them as if they are separate from you. All experiences are yours. It's natural for you, as an omnipotent being, to experience whatever you want instantly. As for why your "old life" continues to appear, there is no old life. There's no experience A turning into experience B, it's all nothingness. You said you visualized being in the MCU, have you noticed that the "old life" seems to disappear and you're totally focused on the visualization? That's because the "old life" never was in the first place!" The blogger explained.

That response made everything click for Jade. She finally feels free enough to experience the MCU universe or any other universe whenever she wants! "Thank you so much! This was very helpful and empowering!" She thanked the blogger.

And so Jade became the superhero she always wanted to be.

[thenyoumightaswellwrestleangels]

Remember me as small (I fear I've swallowed the sun whole)

comfort came against my will - series masterlist here

pairing: mentioned dick grayson x reader, platonic bruce wayne x reader

length: 900

genre: fluff, hurt/comfort

warnings: bruce is a sort of father figure to reader, reader kind of has a meltdown, dick is idk downstairs partying while this happens

a/n: soft launching Good Dad Bruce Wayne here before I let y'all have the bruce wayne verse, I think it's nice to read it isn't always easy before this but it's unnecessary

You're standing in Bruce's study when he finds you, drink in one hand while the other stays wrapped around your own waist - like a child clinging to their parent, except the only person you had to cling to was yourself. You don't move when he approaches, quietly closing the door behind him and coming to stand next to you, eyeing where the joint contract of your company's new deal with Wayne Industries sits framed on his wall amongst his various other professional achievements. 

"Have I made enough of myself?" you ask quietly, and the tone of your voice sends warnings through Bruce's head. He's heard you like that before - small and scared and tired. Unsure. And you never let yourself be seen as unsure. But he'd seen it a few times, many years ago when he'd first met you, a lost child with your hackles raised too high to let him help you. He didn't like hearing that voice coming from you, especially not now when you were here in his home - somewhere where you should be safe and happy.

"What do you mean, sweetheart?" he prompts gently, tenderly pulling your drink out of your hands and setting it on a nearby table. You look at him with wide, watery eyes and his heart clenches.

"Have I done enough?" you whisper, as if speaking any louder would tear holes in the blanket you've pulled over your emotions. "I'm not small anymore, right? Not like I was. I… I'm bigger now. I'm good now. I grew into something good, right? I made… I made something of myself… didn't I?"

"If you made any more of yourself, sweetheart, you'd outgrow the sun," he whispers back as he takes one of your hands in both of his, flipping it so that your palm is facing up and he can smooth over the tension under your skin with gentle thumbs and soft pressure. 

"Do you remember when I was small?" you ask tentatively, keeping your eyes trained on your joined hands while he keeps his own trained on you.

"Yes," he says easily, squeezing your hand in acknowledgement. I'm here, it meant. I'm here and I remember you. "Although you were hardly small, even then. Your heart was so big, you just needed time to grow into it."

"Did I grow up well?" your voice wavers and Bruce pulls you closer to him by your joined hands before placing your palm on his chest over his heart. I'm here. I'm here and I'm real and I remember you. He hopes you can feel that through the beating of his heart.

"You grew up perfectly," he says, conviction clear in his voice. "And I couldn't be more proud." You make a small, wounded sort of sound at that and your breath hitches in a way he knows means you're about to cry. He begins to move to pull you into him but pauses when you brace yourself on your own two feet, determinedly steadying yourself on your own against the tidal wave of your emotions.

"Bruce?" you ask. He hums in response.

"I want to go back to being small." That throws him. Of all the confessions that could have passed your lips, that wasn't one he was expecting. The tears that begin to stream down your face, at least, he's prepared for. "I want to be small again, I - I want to go back to when I was small and you offered to love me and take me in and - and I want to say yes this time." You're really crying now, hot tears streaking your cheeks and your chest heaving. "I should've let you when you offered and it's too late and I just - I want to go back to when I could've been loved because I can do it right this time I can say yes I -"

Bruce stops you then, finally, shushing you gently (but firmly, in that authoritative, fatherly way that he does) and pulls you closer to him so that you can bury your face in his chest and sob into the fabric of his dress shirt. He holds you like that for a good long while, doing his best to soothe you despite the worry that knots in his stomach. This isn't like you, he thinks. He doesn't like seeing you collapse like this. A part of him, though, although guilty, is almost relieved - pleased that you've turned to him instead of managing it on your own. As much as he hates to see you cry, he would always rather be there than turn away from you.

"Listen to me very closely, sweetheart," he says gently, once your sobs have quieted and calmed down to little sniffs and hiccups. You pull away to look at him. "It's not too late," he promises. "You're always home here - always. And I'll always be here. And… and I do love you. I've never been the best at showing it. I'm sure - I'm sure Dick's told you enough about that." You huffed out a laugh.

"Yea, uh, he's mentioned it."

"Yea," Bruce says, shifting his weight. "But, I do love you, and you're just as much my child as the others. I'm sorry I… I'm sorry I didn't realize you needed to hear that sooner. I'm sorry I didn't help more. I thought that maybe letting you keep yourself upright was the best thing to do. I didn't want to push, I - I was so afraid of pushing you away. But I never, ever, wanted you to feel unloved. You're home here, I promise."

[lostbetweenvampiresandmusic]

Could I request #16 and #22 with all of the boys or just Dwayne?

16. Time becomes meaningless after a while...

22. I know, it's stupid, crying alone in the dark in a cemetery.

--------------------------------------

I sat down in the gravel, crossing my legs. Wrapped in brown paper were some roses lying next to me, the paper wet from the ground it was laying on. In front of me was a headstone, made out of grey marble. On it was my name, my birthday and my supposed death day. I sighed, not knowing what to feel. It had been so long since it happened, so long since that night, since I left my human family behind without even realising it.

Before I knew it, the tears were rolling down my cheek. I couldn't stop myself. For the first time in decades, I allowed myself to cry, to mourn the life I'd lost that night. To mourn the family I'd lost.

I'd closed my eyes, only opening them when I felt the presence of someone standing behind me. I looked up and noticed it was an old friend. In all honesty, he was more than just an old friend. But when i had last seen him, he hadn't been ready to accept it yet. So here he was, as an old friend. An old friend I hadn't seen in ages.

"I know," I sighed with a sad smile, "its stupid, crying alone in the dark in a cemetery."

Dwayne smiled, sitting down next to me. "It's not."

"It's been a while, since I've last seen you."

He nodded. "Max hast kept us busy."

"Not that I mind, but why are you here?"

"David noticed that another vampire had entered the territory. I was send to check it out."

"Ah, you're just the welcome comity?"

"Just this once, just for you."

I smiled shyly, looking back at my headstone. "I'm honoured, Dwayne."

"You never answered my question from the last time we met," he said after a moment, as he looked at my headstone. "Don't tell me you were ashamed to admit you were older than me?"

"Oh no!" I smiled a genuine smile at him. "I'm not, and it's not by that many years."

"Good." He nodded. "Because it would be a shame if you were."

"Oh? Why's that?"

"I've been told in not so many words that if I found my mate I shouldn't be an idiot about it."

"And?"

"I've been very idiotic around you."

"Previous times, maybe. Now I do quite enjoy your company."

"I'm glad to hear it." He looked at me.

I looked back, studying his face. I sensed a certain nervousness. "You don't have to be worried. I never rejected the mating bond, nor did I ever have the intention to."

Dwayne couldn't help but chuckle. The way he had dragged his mate into the Emerson mess in the eighties would have been enough reason to reject the bond. He supposed he was lucky, with a mate like his.

"We're going to have to figure out how to make this work, though, " I said with a soft tone. "As much as I tried back then, I am not one for nightly parties and playing human."

"That doesn't matter. I am not a big fan of human interaction either. We'll find a way to make it work."

I stood up, taking his hand in mine. I looked him in the eyes and found myself smiling. "We better do."

"Why?" Dwayne asked. "We will work, we were made for each other."

"Yes we were," I nodded. "But we mustn't forget that-"

"What?"

"Time becomes meaningless after a while..."

Dwayne shook his head, looking at me. "It doesn't," he said firmly. "You lived the past three decades alone. You didn't have a family to talk to, or to hang out with. All you had was you."

I nodded.

"Now you won't. You'll have me, and we'll have centuries to explore who we are together and what we're going to be. And you'll have the boys, keeping you on your toes and making sure your life won't be boring. As long as eternity might be, it won't lose its meaning. I promise."

I nodded, a tearful smile on my face. "I'd love for you to be by my side." I said softly, caressing his face. "I'd love for you to show me what immortality means to you, and I'll try to do the same in return."

He kissed me softly, after quietly asking if he could. He held me in his arms, and it didn't take long before I realised he was right. I had him. Eternity wouldn't be something I would spend alone, I would spend it with my mate and his family. I would get new ways to fill this life and share it with him. I smiled at him, as he stood up and took me along to his bike.

"Thank you for finding me tonight," I said as I climbed behind him, causing him to smile. He drove off, taking me home. Home. What a wonderful feeling was that.

[bellaxgiornata]

Honestly I cannot believe that I've been on tumblr for just over a year now and somehow there's already so many of you wonderful people here that are reading, enjoying, and supporting my silly little fics. When I jumped over here from AO3, I had not anticipated how much fun I was going to have getting to chat with all of y'all while also sharing my stories with those of you who aren't on AO3. I've definitely made some wonderful friends this past year because of tumblr and I just want to say thank you to everyone for the support. I always mean it when I say y'all are the reason I keep writing these stories 💖

I could certainly get sappier but instead I'll just invite y'all to join me for my first ever celebration! There's a few fun things below the cut that y'all can pop up with in my ask box starting today May 3 through Wednesday May 8! I tried to think of some interesting things that I could realistically make time to do with everything currently going on in my life, especially because I'm also still trying to stockpile rough drafts for many of my stories so that I can still have updates during my upcoming "writing hiatus" (that I'll explain more about later). My plan is to answer things as they come in and hopefully have them all finished shortly after the celebration ends. And once the celebration finally ends, I'm hoping to give y'all an update to a story or a one shot!

Hopefully this will be fun for everyone!

Let's Chat! - Feel free to send me an ask about anything at all! No, seriously. You want to tell me about your day? An upcoming vacation or exciting accomplishment of yours? Do it! Or maybe you want to ask me questions about one of my stories or my writing process? Hell, feel free to ask me about myself, chat about coffee, music, books, pets, whatever!

Discuss Headcanons with Me! - Have any headcanons about Matt Murdock, Frank Castle, or Michael Kinsella that you want to chat about or share with me? Send them in! Or are you interested in a headcanon I might have about one of them in a certain situation? Feel free to ask! We can chat about the boys!

Send Me Fake FFTD Installment Titles! - Create a title name for an installment for my Falling for the Devil series (ex. "The [insert title]") and I'll write a couple of sentences about what I could picture that installment being about! You win bonus points if you can actually stump me on coming up with a plot for your title. But also who knows, maybe some title suggestions could spark an idea for future updates...

Let's Play a Game! - We can play would you rather, have you ever, or fuck/marry/kiss (or kill). For the record, f/m/k can be with anyone from Daredevil, Punisher, Defenders, Kin, or even any of Charlie's characters that I'm familiar with (Matt, Michael, Owen, Henry, Tristan, or Adam) or those of Jon's that I'm familiar with (mainly Frank, Shane, or Julian). If you can think of another game feel free to play it with me!

Ask the Boys! - Do you enjoy my weird internal dialogues with fictional characters that probably make me sound crazy? Great! Feel free to send me an ask to either one or all of the fictional men that live in my head (Matt, Frank, and/or Mikey) and I'll relay whatever they respond with in something of a short internal dialogue!

Request a Sneak Peak! - Since I have been stockpiling quite a few WIPs and rough drafts for a couple of months now, I am open to y'all just requesting a sneak peak. If you do, I will share a snippet from a fic I choose at random from something that's either a fully finished rough draft or still a work in progress!

**You're more than welcome to participate multiple times, but all I ask is that you (1) send things in separate asks, (2) are not rude to me or anyone else, and (3) are 18+ to discuss anything spicy (this is an 18+ blog anyway so I'd hope everyone here already is).**

[evilwickedme]

I just. Ugh. Oh my God. The fucking PARALLELS this season of Good Omens. Y'all know I'm an absolute fool for a good parallel, so to get so many? I'm so well fed today

Crowley and Azira are like, the definition of soulmates of the kind that are made, you know? Like there is no one single other being in the whole of Creation that shares even a fraction of the same experiences. Six thousand years in the making, this ship is - even more according to this season !!! And YET, they are absolutely brand new. They've never been in a romantic relationship - not with each other, not with anyone - and as Crowley pointed out, they've essentially just gotten out of toxic relationships with Heaven and Hell. Except like, not really? Because we see Crowley really got out Heaven so heavily traumatized he never really put all that much stock into Hell. Yeah, Hell might've still been abusive, but Crowley was halfway out the door the whole time. Azira, tho... He still buys into all of it. He's technically out the door, but he hasn't done any of the deprogramming you need to do in order to move on (I feel like I'm mixing my metaphors a little by using cult-related languages, but also abusive relationships are essentially two person cults, so)

And this season sets this dynamic up so perfectly with Nina and Maggie!!!!! And we're supposed to think that Nina is Crowley because she's dark and broody and Maggie is Azira cause she's frankly precious but really it's the other way around and it's Nina who finishes the season being like "I can't be in a relationship right now because I still need to work on myself having just ended an incredibly toxic relationship" and it's just. Nina and Maggie don't end the season together because that's not what they need right now and bc of that they might still be able to be together later, but Crowley and Azira hold onto each other SO DAMN HARD that they end up losing each other SPECIFICALLY BECAUSE AZIRA CAN'T DO THAT SAME THING OF UNPACKING HIS BASE ASSUMPTIONS it's like leaving a cult cause they were mean to you once but still buying into the new agey stuff they used to love bomb you into joining the cult in the first place

And so that's the relationship part of things but also we've got like soo many parallels showing how broken the system is in the first place and obviously ineffable bureaucracy is what stands out here because of the literal lines coming out of various characters' mouths during this plotline but can we talk about how heavily brainwashed Muriel is and how clearly they're supposed to be exactly like a young Aziraphale, one who doesn't "have" Crowley yet!!! Like tell me that if you gave Muriel a fiery sword and told them to watch over the first ever pregnant couple in history they wouldn't give them that Goddamn sword. Nobody on either side is capable of questioning their position in life without exposure to Something Else, but it doesn't have to be like, the being you're going to run off to alpha centauri with. It could very much be a copy of The Crow Road

(sidenote, has anybody read this book? It seems like an incredibly deliberate choice but I've never heard of it! I think I might send in an ask to Neil Gaiman himself if I don't see any meta soon)

Anyway yeah um. I don't know how to end this. Parallels and shadow selves fuck (double entendre)

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for not letting an autistic kid join my group?

Okaayy this requires a LOT of backstory so bear with me on this.

I am 16F and the kid in question is 16M. I shall call him Tyler. I've known Tyler for like 3 years, never really been friends with him but he has been in my classes many times. Tyler is very blatantly autistic, which means it's very easy for people to pick on him. Other kids will be dicks to him and rile him up because they think it's funny. I am also nd but am quite good at masking so I don't get picked on but I am still a loner. Y'know the stereotypical quiet kid. Last detail to note about Tyler, he never does any of the classwork. Every time I have been in class with him he has just watched youtube on his laptop and will not do the work unless a teacher forces him to. This is important to note for my first major encounter with Tyler when I was 13.

There was a group project and everyone had to pick a partner to do a presentation, standard school stuff you get the gist. Me and Tyler ended up being the last ones left so we got paired together. The problem was that he did not pull his own weight. I had to sit with him and slowly walk him through the stuff we had to do for the project. Then I told him I would do X part of the project and he would do Y part of the project. He agreed and I went to work on it. The next day I asked if he had done anything, he hadn't. I sympathized with this because I also have executive dysfunction and very much struggle with completing things so I told him it was fine, he just had to work on it today and to send it to me once he was done. So I got home and waited for him to send me his part of the project but of course, it never came. So I ended up having to do literally EVERYTHING myself at the last minute. I went to the computer room to finish it at break time and lo and behold who do I see but Tyler in the computer room watching youtube. I gave him a firm telling off because I was hella pissed that while I was stressing out trying to do a group project by myself he was doing fuck all. He obviously felt bad but I was still rather pissed. So on the day of the presentation I did something admittedly very petty in that I forced him to do his part in the presentation despite him never seeing the presentation before. So he obviously struggled a lot. But that was that and I was quite certain I didn't want to work with him again. Flash forwards a bit, he tries to sit with me. I don't want to be an ass so I let him. The thing is that he was completely clueless about all the work so I ended up having to be like a surrogate teacher, walking him through everything. Again. The thing is, I couldn't get my own work done if I was stuck being Tyler's tutor. I was like "Fuck this. I'm not his teacher! I'm not even getting paid for this!!" So I started actively avoiding sitting with him so I could actually get shit done and he seemed to get the hint.

Now, to the present. He happens to be in the same class as me and asked if he could be in my group and I ignored him. I felt bad about it but I did not want to be handholding this kid. He seems to be actively trying to get my attention and trying to interact with me but I am just not interested. Especially since he seems to think that doing things like flicking water at me or slamming doors in my face is a good way to get my attention. I've tried to make it very clear I don't like this behaviour but he keeps doing it. In the most recent incident he randomly poked my back when I was crouching down to pick something up. I really hate being touched so I snapped at him but I feel guilty about it now. I feel like I could've handled it better because he clearly doesn't pick up emotional cues very well. And clearly he's just lonely, which I get but I feel he burnt this bridge a while ago and is just blasting the remains with a flamethrower.

So tumblr, AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[bonesandthebees]

idk if this is rude or if i should even be bothering you with this ask but you seem to be answering asks sharing the same sentiment i have so i just had to get my thoughts out. Obviously we should focus on shelby, its HER story and no one elses. But everyone and their mother has already said that ten times over, so i think i should be able to say that i especially feel bad for the fans here. I was never really a big fan of him (i did watch a lot of his youtube/soothouse but never cared much regardless) but its really sad to see how hundreds of people (many of which are teenagers, may i add) that suddenly have to deal with this, all the fanworks, merchandise, and good memories that are now going to make people feel miserable is what really makes me sad. I've seen people on twitter be distraught over the whole ordeal and the replies will accuse them of 'making it about themselves', and like... is it really such a huge crime??? to feel personally hurt?? They say 'you just shouldnt idolize people' but i dont think they understand, really. I think people should be allowed to express how they were hurt by it as well without being called selfish because 'its not about them', when it IS. its about shelby first and foremost but that does not mean its not about everyone else. And it just feels really disheartening to see people have such a Holier Than Thou complex about it. Im a coward for sending this as anon to some random tumblr blog but i hope you understand.

yeah I really dislike the attitude some people are taking where they're making fun of fans or berating them for being upset. this was a thriving community we'd been maintaining for years at this point. so many people, myself included, have formed incredibly close friendships because of the community. we're allowed to grieve that. we're also fully allowed to grieve for the fact that a person we all looked up to turned out to be completely different from how he presented himself online.

as long as we're making sure to continue discussing the victims of the pain he's caused (shelby, but also rhianna, sophie, niki, rue) then there's nothing wrong with also expressing our own pain and grief. you can support victims and also be upset for yourself and the community. the two can coexist. so many of us have lost a huge aspect of our lives.

just ignore those people. the community is all here to support each other. just focus on that

[strangeshoepatrolbandit]

Sunshine follows with Sunfall pt.4

Warnings: sorta ooc Jason, feelings, crying.

Series Masterlist

~☆~

The bell at the door chimed, alerting you that someone had entered.

"Hi, take a seat wherever you li-" Your automated response was cut short when you finally turned to look at who was at the door. Jason Todd.

"Hey." He awkwardly spoke, "I wanted to talk."

You let out a scoff. "I'm working."

"You get off at ten. It's nine forty-five." He stated.

"You're checking over my work schedule now?" You exasperatedly asked.

Jason looked away, choosing the floor as something way more interesting to look at. "I had to find you, and I just stumbled upon your hours."

You knew he was lying. You knew he had almost all of the information of your life.

"I hope you've been getting the money I send." He mentioned, talking about the money he sends you weekly, rather than monthly.

"Yeah, I got it." You mumbled, going back to wiping down the counters.

"I seen your car isn't here." He spoke again.

You let out a sigh. "It's in the shop."

"How are you getting home?"

"I'll probably just call a taxi." You stopped wiping the counters again, looking up at Jason to see if he had anything else to say.

"I can drive you home."

His words made you let out an unexpected laugh, "No."

"C'mon Y/N, would you rather go home with a stranger or me?" Jason asked. The way he said your name was just as sweet as it sounded when you were kids. No. No. Don't.

He was finally looking back up at you, taking in your features. "Jason, just drop it."

"Drop what? You? My kid?" His voice was getting louder at each word. You could hear Taylor stop what he was doing in the kitchen. "Y/N, please, let me take you home so that he can have a talk."

"Judith's not home if that's what you want."

"Maybe that's for the better, because I just need to talk with you."

You stood there contemplating if you should let him take you home or not. Locked in an internal conflict with yourself.

"I'll be ready in a few minutes."

×

Jason held the door open as the two of you left the building, Taylor was going to be the one locking up, so you didn't have to worry. The two of you walked side by side to the only other vehicle (other than your co-workers) that was in the parking lot.

His motorcycle is the same one he's had since his resurrection. It's the same one you've been on multiple times.

"Here." Jason whispered, now grabbing his helmet and putting it on your head. His hands lightly pushed up your chin so that he could see if the helmet was fully secured, an action he had performed many times.

Even though you didn't need any, Jason still decided to help you up onto the bike before sitting down himself. Your hands hesitantly grabbed for his torso, lightly gripping at his jacket. His own hands reached back to pull your arms fully around him, making your body sit up against his own.

"You ready?"

×

You knew Jason had your address, but you weren't going to question how he knew the exact route to your apartment.

The two of you sat in silence the entire walk and elevator ride to your door, not even saying anything when you finally got inside.

You went to go change, and Jason opted to look around, his gaze lingering on pictures on the wall and some of Judith's stray toys.

"Alright, what do you want to talk about?" You sighed as you walked back into the living room.

Jason had a guilty look flash across his face as he turned to face you. "The obvious."

"Oh, you mean how you left without a word for an entire year?" You hissed, causing Jason to lightly flinch.

"....Yes..." He whispered.

"Well, out with it." You urged him, "Please, answer the question I've been asking myself."

"Y/N..." He started, "when you told me you were pregnant, I was ecstatic," He paused to breathe, "I loved you so much and thought that everything was going perfect-"

"And me getting pregnant ruined that?" You interrupted him.

"No!" He yelled."No, not at all." He looked like he was about to cry.

"Y/N, I was scared- hell, I still am," He looked away. "I grew up on the streets, I know who's out there, I just couldn't bring a kid into that." Tears were now streaming down his face, but his voice remained calm. "And when I held Judith, I knew I wouldn't be able to let go. But I had to, because I was going to ruin her..."

"Jason-"

"No, Y/N, I need to talk!" His hand ran through his hair, "I have thought about her every day- about you every day!" He grabbed at your biceps, "I know I'm a piece of shit for leaving, and I am so so sorry- please- please forgive me!" Jason was full on sobbing at this point. You even joined in and let tears fall from your own eyes.

"Jason-" You interrupt yourself with a sob.

As his crying started to die down, he moved his forehead to sit against your own. You looked up at him through tear soaked lashes, taking in his solemn features. "I'm so sorry, Y/N.." He whispered.

"Shut up.." You told him as your arms reached around his neck, bringing him into a hug. It took a few seconds, but he reciprocated by hanging on to your body and shoving his face into your neck.

"I'm scared too." Jason held you tighter because of your words. "I'm so scared."

"I kinda hoped that you left because of some secret vigilante stuff."

"No, I'm just a coward."

"God, I hate you, Jason Todd." You whispered, opting not to tell him that you don't fully believe him, that you think there is another reason.

"I know, I know you do."

~☆~

Taglist: @keira324 @dakotali @22nranjan @skepvids @harpy-space @godknows-shetried @mirrorball-6 @macncheese69420666 @parkjammys @yyxy27 @burningkidanchor @elleclairez @amecchii @chickennugghon @marvelworldlover @oakexists @p0tterhead934 @makhaia @cassini-among-the-stars @tsukishimarawr @flowestallen @attackonnat @90s-belladonna @sucker4seresin

[em-writes-stuff-sometimes]

My One-Year Anniversary

One year ago today, I wrote my very first piece of House of the Dragon fanfiction.

My journey in fanfiction has been a long one. I started reading fan works all the way back in 2009 at the age of 12. I even remember the site: Harry Potter Fanfiction Archive. Wow. Wild! Of course, I naturally gravitated toward Dramione works—because that’s what you did, right? Since then, my tastes have diversified; evolved, even. Thank god.

Until I hopped onto Tumblr and started writing, I wasn’t an active member of any fan community. I was a passive lurker, hiding my enjoyment of fan works from everyone and everything. One of my favourite fandoms to read for was Game of Thrones; I particularly enjoyed the Jonsa works and any work where Daenerys claimed the Iron Throne (#JusticeForDany!). I will say that, as much as I enjoyed it, there were no characters who truly ignited my interest.

Then, House of the Dragon hit. Matt Smith’s portrayal of Daemon is just… electric. I suppose my very first thank-you is to him for bringing the character to our screens. Holy shit. Toxic, passionate, magnetic… everything I want in a fictional man! Daemon Targaryen definitely awoke something in me. I spent about a month trawling the Tumblr and AO3 feeds for Daemon x OC/ Reader works, seeking to satisfy my thirst. Daemyra is such a charismatic pairing in canon, but I could never really see myself in Rhaenyra’s shoes; she’s so forward in a way I’m not. So many of the works at that time were centred on badass powerful OCs, and I just… couldn’t relate. Thus,I officially opened my AO3 account and started a side-blog on Tumblr, posting my first work.

It was a smut piece between Daemon and a Reader-insert niece, and one of my first genuine attempts at writing smut - what is now today the second chapter of dōnus riñus (sweet girl) - and was surprised to receive positive feedback from it, given the um, dodgy themes. It spurred me to go back and write a chapter leading up to it, and then write another three chapters post-chapter 2. Then, people wanted to know how Reader and Daemon got together; I wrote gevivys (beauty) from his perspective in an absolute flurry of insanity, pushing out like a chapter a day. It all blew up - I never expected it to, and it is still incredibly surprising to me that people are wanting to read a protracted series about the shit I make these characters do! From there, ilībītsos (little slut) was underway, which was such a fun exercise in dirtybadwrong that I thoroughly enjoyed! Pretty much straight away, I continued on with ñuhus prumȳs (my heart), which I might say is my favourite instalment of the bunch due to the sheer amount of research I put into it. I'm particularly proud of that one, I must say!

Of course, this makes it sound quick. It wasn't - I have quite a busy personal life with my work, so I've not been the quickest at updating. I'm eternally fucking grateful to have an audience that completely doesn't care how often I update, so long as I'm proud of what I'm putting out at the end; I know how rare that is, and I'm absolutely boggled by you all. My squishies. I love you!

Reader has become Babey now - she has her own, like, following? IDK. It's insane to me. She doesn't even have a name, and yet there are so many people who have reached out to me to thirst over her or to talk about her or to share what she means to them. A lot of people have really resonated with the way she struggles with powerlessness and how, in some ways, she's learned to find strength for herself in a world that gives her so little opportunity to do so. I'm so incredibly glad she is a character that people can relate to. She's like my baby, my first genuine creation, and it is a privilege and honour to get to talk about her on here. I still cannot believe there are people out there willing to make art or edits or just send in asks about her. It's completely wild!

I have endless gratitude for so many people throughout the creation of this series, but we must all begin (and end) somewhere. I’d like to start by thanking my first ‘regular’, Wilma, for her enthusiasm and engagement with me as I first started on this journey. She definitely encouraged me to keep on writing. It was thrilling to wake up to another comment or ask from her about the series! If not for Wilma, I don’t think the series would’ve gotten off the ground as it has.

Thank you to my very first friend in fandom. I’ve only ever known this person as ‘Lemon’—they reached out to me when I was well and truly established during the writing of ilībītsos (little slut), helping me to conceptualise the idea for the third chapter of that instalment. They then jumped aboard as a writer, and so much of my earlier drive to write was inspired by them. If not for their messages and their companionship, I wouldn’t have begun to build the community I have now. They are still one of my fandom besties, and I love them dearly.

There are several important people I’d like to thank for being absolute superstars, and whose passion for fandom has impacted mine so greatly. Aubrey, Pancake, AQ—I’ve adored each and every comment you’ve left me, and it’s been such an incredible experience to get to know you all as people. Mage, Hannah—y’all are amazing writers and amazing human beings, and I’m so grateful to have gotten to know you. Bel, Fae, Mars, Mel, Rach—you’re groovy, and hanging out with you in Discord is the bomb-dot-com. If I'm leaving people out, my bad!

I would be remiss, of course, if I didn’t mention one particular person. We connected through a mutual friend (at the time), and eventually bonded over our love of being incredibly nasty, feral and disgusting over our love of these Targ boys. Pretty sure we speak at least every single day, and I can’t say how many times I’ve relied on her for input on a chapter or a specific plot point I’m planning. Her approval means everything to me, and so I can’t possibly go without crediting her as a major influence on this story. Ange—Angela—thank you. You’ve become one of my best friends, fandom and IRL. I absolutely love you to bits.

And, lastly, I want to thank everyone who has read my works along the way. It is still insane to me that there are people who think my writing is interesting enough to keep reading, let alone offer the outpouring of support I’ve received. It is one of the greatest parts of my day to be able to connect with others over a universe I’ve crafted, and the fact that people genuinely want to know these things just stuns me. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Your encouragement means everything to me.

So, it's been one year. I'm still going, ahahaha! Here's to (hopefully) more years to come! I love you guys!

[industrations]

Hi, may I ask you a question? I know this is probably kind of an unusual ask so feel free to ignore this! But you seem so nice and kind so I thought I might ask you about this...

So lately I keep thinking a lot about gender things. Oh and I am a girl (maybe (as in afab)) and until recently I was convinced that I am very comfortable in my gender. And the thing is, I did think about it. I knew about my sexuality since I was a teenager and I remember thinking about my gender on many occasions and always feeling so sure about it and so comfortable in my body. But also... I've always been kinda scrawny (my friends keep joking that oversized clothes make me look like a 14 year old boy) and then someone told me people go through second puberty and I might get bigger hips in the next years and I would hate that. And then I wondered why, is it just the change or would I genuinely be uncomfortable in a more feminine body?

And now I'm wondering, because why would that come up now?? I mean I am in my early twenties now and I've known about my sexuality for years. But I've also kind of ignored that after realizing it for a while whoops. So it might be happening again. Or maybe it's really just a bit of gender envy and not all that serious?

I think I'm just trying to ask you if you think it's possible that I realize some things late? I'm just so unsure lately and I feel like I can't really ask anyone about this...

So yeah, apologies for sending you that paragraph and I hope you have a nice day!!

Alright so first of I want to say that I am in no means an expert at this. I’m not a therapist and I can’t tell you what you are or what you aren’t feeling. But I can speak from my own experience that things like this are by no means tied to a specific period of time in your life. There’s people that are well into their adult years (and i’m talking 60-70) that are still discovering things about themselves

I’ve spend a long time around people who were telling me what I can and cannot be or what i should be. I was "comfortable" in my gender because I was thought that I should be. And until I actually started talking to people who were going through similar things, I didn’t quite understand that it was not the norm feeling this way about yourself.

Again speaking from my own experience because never let anyone tell you what’s right or wrong for you. There is certain things about being afab i embrace and appreciate even. Things i would miss was i born differently. I love having a softer voice, and more feminine features because those are things that make me me.

But then I have cis girl friends who tell me "oh I wish I had your chest" or "you should be grateful you don’t have as little as me" and I just rather die that having this part of my body be perceived at all. I have my top surgery very soon which i’m extremely excited for but why do I have to defend myself for wanting something that’ll make me happier just because people don’t understand the feeling.

Sorry this has become quite personal and rambly somehow but apparently i have many feelings about this and if they can help anyone in any way then that would he the best outcome. I guess what i’m trying to say is try to let go of whatever you think other people want you to be and be kind and gentle with yourself. You don’t HAVE to be anything the only thing you should be is comfortable in your own skin

[blairelythere]

ok so I know people ask horny stuff through here, but i’m 3 months on estrogen and in the last day, mood swings have made me go from horny devilish creature to moody lonely girl that just wants to be held, and I really need some advice from someone who seems to have it more together emotionally than me.

now that my brain has the emotional capacity to confront the loneliness i’ve faced for years, how do I do that exactly? All I think about all the time is how I’ve exhibited myself online to other people sending nudes to whoever for validation, whether it be hookups or chat buddies, and that i’ve heard good things about my body, that I look good, that they wanna fuck me, etc. but I have yet to be in a loving relationship with someone. I feel emotionally starved with no help in sight and it’s getting tough to keep persevering. I want someone to long for me in the way I long for them but It’s starting to shake on me that maybe I am just not deserving of that.

Sure, “Damn you are so fucking cute” and “I wanna rail you until you can’t think” is COOL, but god do I yearn to finally have another person look me in the eyes and tell me they love me.

"...someone who seems to have it more together emotionally than me."

It's interesting to see how certain sides of my personality are reflected in different ways on my blog, while others are not. On my journey through HRT-land, I have been the most miserable and the happiest I've ever been, all in the same day.

I won't claim to have it more together emotionally than anyone else, but I can offer some words on loneliness, a topic fond of my heart.

Feeling starved of romantic affection (with it being replaced by sexual attention) is a difficult yet common road many of us trans folk face. Whether it be the libido changes, mood swings, or shift in social dynamics, you can be surrounded by thousands of people online and in real life, but still experience the creeping sense of not being seen. Not being loved.

It's the human condition. Often, our cardinal desire. The simple fact that the road has been tumultuous doesn't mean you don't deserve love. In fact, love isn't something that's "earned" or is to be "worthy" of. Love is something that is found, nurtured, and grown.

And it's out there. The world is a big clusterfuck and we are weak, pathetic things on its skin. The most we can ever do is take solace in our similar loneliness and not give up.

Keep fighting. Cling tight to your pining. Face this overwhelming desire without quitting. You are more than this singular emotion. And when you do find someone, you'll see the deep contrast of the shades of your life, desire and fulfillment, and smile.

[illuminatedferret]

Poll idea for you if you want? Or you can just take it as a normal thoughts ask. I've been pondering it myself and seeing what others think might be nice.

Does Jun Wu know Hua Cheng is Wu Ming?

1. Yes, the whole time.

2. No, he doesn't.

3. He figures it out over the course of the present day plot.

I wonder because he told XL that WM was gone and used how 'alone' and 'abandoned' XL is alot in his arguments. But also isn't the kiln and mount tonglu like his space. He never saw any of the statues and wondered? Also what did he think HC wanted from XL? Friendship? Relationship? Revenge? Control? What did he even think of Crimson Rain during the 800 years? I can see him having Black Water figured out and just enjoying that whole mess, but I'm not sure I can imagine what he thought of HC. For a character that really seems to know a lot, I can't help seeing HC as a bit of a blind spot for him? Maybe wilfully dismissed as unimportant?? Jun Wu be hard to understand 😅

Lot your fics and posts ❤

Hey! Thanks for the ask! I made a poll out of it(as u know) and now as promised I'm also gonna share my thoughts!

Short answer: no! I do not believe so. And I don't for one very specific reason- Jun Wu mentions Wuming during the fight on the Heavens-Crossing Bridge. Specifically, he mentions whether or not Hua Cheng knows about Wuming, and all the things Xie Lian did back in his first banishment. He says it to undermine Xie Lian's confidence, both in the fight and in Hua Cheng's feelings for him. If he knew that Wuming was right there, ready to go "actually that's me, I already know all about that stuff, and I'm totally cool with it." he never would have brought him up.

Longer answer: we don't actually know how much attention Jun Wu paid to Mount Tonglu. I mean, it's never confirmed one way or another that he knows/doesn't know everything that goes on down there. I think it's sort of a mixed bag. On one hand, he didn't know about the statue of Xie Lian in the Kiln. On the other, he was in the Cave of Ten Thousand Gods, and the way I see it, he could have either found it beforehand, or he could have followed Xie Lian into it(because he was following Xie Lian by that point- right before he wakes up in the cave he has a nightmare about White No-Face, actually). I think the latter, just because he doesn't act during canon like he knows Hua Cheng is, like, mega-into Xie Lian. Because I do think that it's not hard to put together who made the Cave of Ten Thousand Gods if you saw it uncovered and thought about it a little.

In regards to what he thought Hua Cheng wanted out of Xie Lian... I think it's safe to say that at least initially he didn't think Hua Cheng loved him or anything. He tries to break apart Xie Lian and Hua Cheng very early, by sending Xie Lian to Ghost City on a mission that runs directly against Hua Cheng. Nevermind Xie Lian seeing the Gamblers' Den(which many people would find distasteful and think less of Hua Cheng for), if Hua Cheng wasn't so gung-ho about helping Xie Lian, recovering Ming Yi(and Lang Qianqiu) would've been really ugly. If Jun Wu actually knew Hua Cheng loved Xie Lian(or desired him sexually), I can't see him NOT trying to use that, either to harm Xie Lian or poison his opinion of Hua Cheng(like FXMQ).

I think it's also important to recognize that Mount Tonglu opened while Xie Lian was with Hua Cheng. Jun Wu did that. By this point in time, he's(I believe) already consumed Lang Ying, so he knew that Hua Cheng had invited Xie Lian to Ghost City for the day. If Hua Cheng's reaction hadn't been #KissingTime but violence instead, Xie Lian would have been greatly hurt, and that would have had its own repercussions on their relationship. (if it had been sexual violence...? i think he would have been mad about that, actually) The more I think about it, the more it seems like Jun Wu just didn't want Xie Lian around Hua Cheng at all, like "a supreme's already called dibs on him, back off" kind of deal.

What Jun Wu thinks of Hua Cheng... Overall I think he just hated him. Didn't like him at best. Hua Cheng really did turn out to be a blind spot of Jun Wu's, because there was so much about him that he didn't know. He didn't know he was Wuming or that he loved Xie Lian, and so he didn't think to incorporate those facts into his plans. But beyond that? Not sure. He definitely didn't like him- I would say there was value in Hua Cheng being feared and thus inspiring worship of Jun Wu and the heavens, but he has plenty of worshipers himself. Maybe some stuff about encouraging Heavenly Official solidarity. But I think the existence of Ghost City had a significant(positive) impact on the Mortal Realm, removing 'evil' stuff from the streets of mortal cities and giving ghosts a safe place to live, rather than remain in the open world where they can cause problems. So I don't think he liked that either. I also think he hated having such a powerful figure that he didn't have something over, be it authority or blackmail. Even if he was confident he could beat Hua Cheng, he's very much about control, and he has nothing on Hua Cheng.

[da-proti-toku-grem]

Okay I don't want this to sound cheesy, but I just relate a lot to what Nace said and I'm so emotional right now so I need to say this.

I have always been the typical quiet girl in class that everyone ignores or even laughs at. Honestly, I have never been very affected by the fact that they picked on me and, since I always ignored them, they stopped doing so after a few years (they still ignored me but at least they didn't laugh at me)

I have always said that it did not bother me to be alone every day at school, because I knew that when I got home I had my family there for me and with them and their support was enough for me to be happy, but it is true that this fact has shaped me as a person. Because of this, I am a fairly closed person, it's very difficult for me to open up to people and trust them, I prefer to stay at home than go out partying, I never talk about my interests with anyone I know in real life (e.g. not even my lifelong best friend knows about my obsession with JO), and many other things that I'm not going to write because otherwise this will be too long.

What I wanted to say is that entering this fandom has been one of the best things that have happened to me in my life. It may sound stupid, but it's true. When I started posting about a finnish rapper and a slovenian band just because I liked their songs at Eurovision, I never would have thought that people would start interacting not only with my posts but also with me.

This fandom feels like a safe place, a place where I can say exactly what I think without thinking that someone is going to judge me for it.

I'm very bad at expressing my feelings with words (another thing due to everything I've explained before I guess), but I just want to thank everyone who interacts with me, sends me asks, tags me in posts or simply responds to my posts. No matter how minor they may seem, those interactions mean the world to me.

I may not have found my people in real life yet, but knowing that there are people out there, even in other countries, who care about me is something very precious to me.

Since joining the fandom, I've felt a lot better about myself and also more confident in my own skin. Not only because of how happy the boys make me but also because of all of you. Just the thought that when I get home I'll be able to go on tumblr and talk to all of you keeps me going.

This past year has been terrible personally, especially because of the stress of the last year of high school. I have had a minimum of one anxiety/stress attack a week and, in general, I've had a very bad time. But this fandom has made me feel better in my own skin and I couldn't be happier with the decision I made back in May.

I'm going to shut up now because this has become too long, but I want to tell you that I love you so much and I wish I could hug you all.

THANK YOU SO MUCH. FOR EVERYTHING <3

[weiwuxianismybae]

wei wuxian isn't sin-free either. that's the point. no one in mdzs is. the purity police mentality is why so many in the fandom turned their backs on wangxian. wei wuxian is not a perfect uwu little angel. he committed more atrocities than jin guangyao

???????????????????????????????

How to say you missed the point without saying you missed the point.

Anyway, sorry, I'll stop joking around. Let's take this bit by bit, shall we?

Not sure what you mean by "pure" and "sin". I don't know enough about Buddhism or Chinese culture in general, so I won't speek much on this matter. (Yet, I'm pretty sure the book wasn't written with Christianity in mind🙃). Anyway, making mistakes doesn't make you "bad". Making mistakes is what makes us human and it doesn't make you morally "grey" or "bad" and especially not when you regret them:

He was only stating a simple fact calmly, but the cultivator felt as if he was scorned, fuming, “What do you think we’re talking about here? How could there be bargaining for debts of blood?”

Wei WuXian, “It’s not that I want to bargain about such a thing, but that I don’t want my charges to be doubled just because of some words from another. I won’t shoulder what I didn’t do.”

ExR ch. 79

Note that he said that he won't shoulder what he didn't do, not that he won't shoulder anything at all.

Finally, Wei WuXian spoke up. He said, “Then what do you want me to do?”

Fang MengChen paused in surprise. Wei WuXian, “Then what do you want? Nothing but my miserable death to soothe your own hatred?” He pointed at Yi WeiChun, who lay passed out among the crowd, “He’s missing a leg, while I was cut into pieces; you lost your parents, while my family had long since been gone. I’m a dog who was chased out of its home. I’ve never even seen the ashes of my parents.”

Wei WuXian, “Or do you hate the Wen Sect’s remnants? The Wen Sect remnants that you speak of already died once, thirteen years ago. And right now, just then, for my sake, for your sake, they died once again. This time, they’ve all become ashes.” He continued, “Let me ask you—just what else do you want me to do?”

[...]

Wei WuXian, “Nobody told you to forgive me. The things I did, not only do you remember them, I remember them too. You won’t forget them, and they’ll stay even longer in my mind!”

ExR ch. 82

Wei Wuxian's goodness shouldn't be debated. All his actions were justified. He was never the initiator. Let me repeat myself: Who attacked whom first? Who massacred Wei Wuxian's home? Who send the Wen remnants, who lived peacefully on a small piece of land that was given to them by the winners, to the work camps where they were tortured?

As for the remnants of the Wen Sect, they were herded into a small corner of Qishan, not even a thousandth the territory it onced owned. They were crammed into the place and struggled to live.

ExR ch. 72

Who ambushed whom on Qiongqi path? Who went on offensive because he grew up with his cousin and didn't like Wei Wuxian anyway? Who promised to let the matter go if Wen Qing and Wen Ning turned themselves over? Who went back on that promise? Who gathered 3000 cultivators to kill 50 innocent people? Who killed those innocents?

"He committed more atrocities than Jin Guangyao"

...

...

I recommend you to read the extra Villainous Friends. It's a real eye-opener.

Just then, two disciples from the Jin Clan of Lanling dragged over a cultivator with disheveled hair.

"Weren't you going to refine a new set of fierce corpses?" Jin Guangyao said. "As it happens, I've brought materials for you."

[...]

A young girl and boy, both trussed with rope, kneeled on the ground and shouted miserably to He Su.

"Ge!"

He Su was stunned. His face blanched white as paper. "Jin Guangyao! What do you mean by this?! You can just kill me. Why implicate my entire clan?!"

[...]

Jin Guangyao shot him a glance, then turned back around and said in an even-tempered tone, "You can't say that. The He Clan of Tingshan used the full force of its power to start an uprising and plot to assassinate Sect Leader Jin. All of you were caught red-handed. How can you call this 'no reason'?"

A number of the captives cried out, "Ge! He's lying! We didn't. We really didn't!"

"What a crock of shit!" He Su spat. "Open your damn eyes and take a good look around! There's a nine-year-old child here, and elders who can't even walk! What uprising could they start?! And why would they assassinate your father out of the blue?!"

[...]

However, no one here would listen to his defense. Sitting before him were two vicious villains who already considered him a dead man and were enjoying the sight of his last-ditch struggle. Jin Guangyao leaned back with a smile and waved.

"Gag him. Go on, gag him."

Wei Wuxian never killed his father, brother, son, wife and then pretended that he had no choice. Wei Wuxian didn't slaughter a whole clan just because they were standing in his way and he saw them as annoyance. Wei Wuxian was never besties with other mass murderers (Xue Yang).

I wanted to argue that the only thing that made Jin Guangyao better than Jin Guangshan was that he had never forced himself on women... but then I remembered how Jin Guangshan died...

SiSi, “The middle-aged man wanted to shout and struggle, but his body was weak. The boy who led us inside opened the door again, grinning as he dragged him onto the bed again and tied him up with a rope, stepping on his head. He told us, carry on, don’t stop even when he’s dead. Have any of us been through such a situation before? We were scared half-dead, but we didn’t dare disobey. We had to continue. At the twelfth or eleventh round, that sister suddenly screamed, saying that he really was dead. I went over and checked. He’d indeed kicked the bucket, but the person behind the curtain said, didn’t you hear me? Don’t stop even when he’s dead!”

ExR ch. 85

Don't spoil Wei Wuxian's good name by comparing him to the likes of Jin Guangyao!

+ bonus:

"You little hooligan," Jin Guangyao said with a laugh. "Wreck stalls if that's what you want. You can burn down the entire street, for all I care, as long as you mind two things—don't wear the Sparks Amidst Snow uniform, and keep your face hidden. Don't let anyone find the culprit and put me on the spot."

Btw, the excerpts from Villainous Friends were taken from Seven Seas translation.