#idek what setting tag to give this

[littleouroboros]

???tober Day 2: Horseman

[1ouis]

.

[starscelly]

if you give a goalie a knife...

[sunfl0werlevi]

HOME

ʚ✩ɞ ratings: sfw, angst to fluff, comfort

ʚ✩ɞ cw/tw: jjk manga chapter 221 spoilers! slight angst and depressive tones. slight sexual tones hehe.

ʚ✩ɞ wc: 10.5k

ʚ✩ɞ tags: gojo satoru x fem!reader, husband gojo and wife reader are teachers

ʚ✩ɞ an: hi! yes, this is the first time ill be sharing one of the many works i have in my drafts (that im confidently not sharing ever). idek how it got this long. gojo being unsealed triggered something in me so i hope u enjoy. ( ˘ ³˘)♥

italicized texts are past dialogues! FEEDBACKS are highly appreciated.

you stared at the golden band around your ring finger, toying it around. your bed seemed to stretch twice its size and grow colder every morning that you wake up.

every morning, you trace the outline of the dips on his side of the bed. you left it dismantled the way he did, since 19 days ago. you could still see a few strands of silver hair on his pillow glowing under the daylight.

"satoru, please."

"you know there's a lot of souvenir shops in shibuya! maybe i'll take you to some if you're a good little wifey."

"you told me we're working together on this. just let me fight alongside with you-" you pouted and so he gives you a wet smack on the cheek and booped your nose.

"babe, my honey, sweetiepie, you're on children duties!"

"no fair!"

"don't worry, ijichi will take you there. toodles!" and then he warped out.

fools. you didn't even know half of the shit that was about to set loose.

the wooden sliding door of your shared room slammed open, startling you out of your thoughts. there stood an out of breath yuuji with both his hands clinging on to either side of the door frame.

"sensei," he looked at you with determination, a sense of sparkle behind his eyes.

no. no.

you can't have this right now. not right now. you were not ready--not when what you've been preparing yourself for was the worst. but this? this wasn't in your plan.

any indication of hope from him has all been but failure. you were under the high of false hope but now...now, you don't even know how to respond with this pressing matter in front of you.

what kind of wife are you to even think that way? will he even understand if you feel this way?

but you are here now and he is here now.

his frame stood patiently behind your student, waiting for you to say anything. but only the sound of your shallow, shuddering breaths filled the room.

the pink-haired boy staggered backwards to leave, as to give room to your man.

doors were always never tall enough for satoru so he has to duck down in order to grace the room with his presence. his presence that is so invigorating, with his own hint of charisma.

and there he is. he is still so beautiful. his alabaster hair unreasonably still glimmering. your eyes were met with the color of the sky--lustrous and comforting, anticipating you.

but beneath this façade, they were chagrin and desolated, designed with heavy lids and undereye bags that loitered his skin.

the man that came to face you is not your satoru. although indulging with the fact that he looks bigger, more rugged, with his toned arms filling up the sleeves of his shirt--this satoru is only the shell of the man that you used to know.

he scratched his neck, his eyes crinkling into a smile as he gave you a small assuring grin. he opened his arms, wide and warm, welcoming you into a zone you knew all too well.

"c'mere."

though against your will, your body seemed to have a mind of its own--lunging forward to the sense of familiarity that is in front of you. amidst the unconvinced and confused face you held, your body knew how much you ached for this moment and alas your feet brought you towards him.

he gripped your waist so tightly, so much that he could break you in half like--like there were no tomorrow.

words could not even begin to detail this feeling. missing him is an understatement. no--you yearned for him--for his touch, for his smell, for his warmth. for this moment.

you sank deeper into his broad chest. the feeling and the sound of his heartbeat confirming that this is all true and not just a pigment of your imagination, or not you going insane.

he stuck his nose on top of your head, breathing in your smell. god, he could cry. he missed you so much and he was going insane because he was beginning to forget what his favorite shampoo you use smells like.

the silence was both so comforting yet so delicate. there are both no words yet too many words to tell. one pin drop could make or break the atmosphere. a paradox in the flesh. just in character for your husband.

but just in time, he spoke up, breaking the tension. you had imagined this moment, him apologizing or saying i love you, over and over. but no, he yet again breaks the record.

"thank you."

the last thing you wanted was to ever forget him. so, you listened to every voice messages, voice mails, and videos that he sent you every day like it was a routine and a lullaby before you sleep.

you would not forgive yourself if you forgot what he sounds like.

with the sound of his voice triggering the turmoil in you, your chin quivered and your throat burned in an agonizing pain. all of the weeping and mourning you've suppressed poured out onto his shirt.

he brushed your hair and cooed you into silent hushes.

"i'm sorry."

"satoru, she never cried," shoko said.

gojo sat silently on shoko's loveseat chair with both his arms resting on its armrest. he is finally relaxed which unfortunately meant that he has the time to think.

all of the guilt is finally blossoming inside of him.

for the longest time, he wished that he'd be rid of all the burdens that are pushed onto his shoulders. he wanted to run away. with you.

but he knew that his being makes everything complicated and you'd be in greater danger beside him than staying with everybody else.

so, him being in that damned box? his wish came true. was he selfish to somehow feel relieved while being isolated, knowing everything he left behind and all the chaos that ensued?

his colleague and good friend, nanami, who all but strayed away from jujutsu, was pushed towards it again by gojo. and now he's gone.

his teacher and a parent that he considered, principal yaga, lost his life fighting for everyone--especially for the children that gojo was supposed to protect.

his students--tiny but fighter nobara, with half of her head barely even of any shape and unresponsive on a pale hospital bed. yuuji who always graced a smile, now looked like he aged a dozen. and megumi--his son, who always quietly rooted and stood for everyone, lost his hope and is now a vessel to sukuna.

and you. he could not even begin to think how much of a toll it took on you.

"she kept everyone glued together, you know. when everything was falling apart after you...you were gone, she held all of their hands."

shoko blew a smoke out of her office window then tapped her cigarette onto an ashtray. "every day, she cleans nobara's body with a wet towel. when the students would come back with all unimaginable injuries, she tended to them with all of her reversal."

"satoru, i had to clinically force her, just so i could tend to her own injuries for a day. she did not want to stop working as if..."

"as if she will lose it, if she stopped," he finished the sentence, holding a firm gaze with shoko.

she and him knew what it was like to grieve for someone but still having all the responsibilities demanded at every second.

gojo, whether everybody admits or not, was their source of hope. the students gravitated towards him, and even curses do not fail to see the light that he shines--attracting them like moths to a flame.

he tended to everyone's troubles, to the bullshit of the higher-ups that even led to him killing his own bestfriend.

but you-you are the damned closest thing to him. you were his half. you are his half. and everybody knew you are a gojo too.

so they all went to you. for 19 whole days, you shared, albeit, owned his responsibilities. and you had to keep it together.

you should not fall apart. you cannot fall apart. the children relied on you for their strength and you kept them all stuck together like a little patched-up family of your own.

you became him. a true gojo. although it sounds gratifying, it was the last thing that he wanted for you to ever encounter.

he never wanted to share his pain and bare all of his weaknesses to you. but you unconditionally took them all, without any words nor complaints.

"she-she wasn't there."

"she didn't want to be disheartened and defeated if it had failed. you were gone and she is here. still here. you know where to find her, so go."

it wasn't just you. he also does not have the heart to see your face yet--he never really had a say on when he was getting released, anyway.

but he went to you.

your palms cupped his face, searching every inch of his skin like it is something foreign. his large hands held onto them, rubbing slow and soft circles on it.

"i've missed you...so much." you mumbled, risking a hiccup and another bout of tears to pour out of you. he dried your cheeks with both his thumbs.

"i know. i know, sweetheart," his voice was soft, barely a whisper, as he brought his lips towards your eyes.

he kissed your eyes tenderly, as if commanding for them to close for a minute. satoru knew how much you needed to crack--he wanted you to fall apart on him and he can pick up all of the pieces. he can make you whole again.

he can hold you together with his warm hands, thawing and melting you into a puddle of your own unresolved emotions. molding you exactly, to fit perfectly right where you belong.

right here. right next to him.

to him, you are the apple of his six eyes. the immeasurable devotion of his limitless. and the bottomless beloved of his infinity.

he could never leave you again. not like that. not ever.

he pressed his forehead against yours, his proximity tickling you with his breath and his pillowy lips brushing against yours. he rubbed his nose on yours and his eyelashes feather on your cheek.

"i love you," he rubbed his thumbs on both your cheeks while holding your gaze, accessing all of your senses with his presence.

he wants you to know, he's here.

he tentatively leans closer, only kissing you daintly. "kiss me. kiss me, satoru."

and so he planted his hand at the small of your back, leaning forward, obliging to your words. he kisses you--deeply and passionately. your mouth presses eagerly, gliding with his lips fervently without any lapses, like your life depended on it.

you put your arms around his neck, deepening the kiss even more. he gripped your hips tightly, pulling you impossibly closer to him.

satoru is trying his best to not tear your clothes off, on behalf of his student waiting outside.

"god-" he retracted, staring at your eyes.

"i-" he kisses your neck "-missed you-" your chin "-so-" your nose "-much."

there is no reason for the both of you to be separated at all. not anymore.

and so he interlocks your pinkies together like he always did. you giggled and he grins widely.

"i'm here. i'm home."

[mieeaahhh]

All for the game headcannons (so so so many)

(might delete because I’m embarrassed)

-Aaron and Andrew hang out at least once a week because bee said they should give it a try and then once they graduate and live separately they call once a week instead.

-Aaron has a slightly stronger southern accent than the rest of the foxes and they like ‘mock’ him by repeating what he says sometimes. (idk if that makes sense and I’m not American so idek if he’d have a southern accent I just saw other people saying the foxes would😰)

-the foxes usually go to Aaron if Abby isn’t around when they have like a small ache in their arm or something along those lines.

-on Valentine’s Day since Eric lives so far away and Seth is yk 💀 the foxes do small things to try make nicky and Alison’s day better. Matt and Dan invite them to tag along their plans sometimes, Andrew and Neil leave them extra ice-cream in the freezer, Renee makes gets Allison flowers and sometimes takes Allison on a walk if she’s up to it, Aaron and katelyn let Nicky watch movies with them sometimes, and they also just hang out with each other and somewhat ‘bond’ about being by themselves on Valentine’s Day 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

-Aaron had piercings before meeting Andrew without his mum’s permission which obviously made her absolutely furious, so then Andrew had gotten them as well because he knew she hated them. (And he thinks they’re cool)

-the twins share a lot of their shoes. Like they’re is only one pair and it’s neither Andrews or Aarons🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

-Neil named sir and king because when he suggested that Andrew should name them, Andrew just said something lazy like “cat one and cat two”.

-Katelyn’s personality is like Nicky’s and Renee’s combined. Also I like to think that Aaron is an absolute MESS around Katelyn and the foxes do NOT leave him alone about it.

-Randy is like one of those mums that’ll ask you to invite people you are barely friends with over for tea and she started doing it with Matt about Aaron. (I like to think that Aaron and Matt end up becoming really good friends)

-Aaron doesn’t like sleeping by himself and will sometimes awkwardly ask whoever he’s with if he can sleep in their bed with them (only if he trust them like A LOT and is obviously like close with them??) and most of the foxes are aware he does this but never bring it up as they all do things that are a little childish to make themselves feel better(safe)

He’s slept In Nicky’s, Andrews and obviously Katelyn’s bed the most.

-Matt always gives people those double high-fives after good games (like this🙌) and one time turned towards Andrew for one without thinking and then put them down with a quiet apology while Andrew stared at him. Andrew silently set his hand out for Matt to give him a high five and he hesitantly did.

-there is a photo of Seth (that Allison picked) on the foxes photo wall with a metal plate thing next to it that has his name, exy position and t-shirt number.

-they take a ‘team photo’ every year for the photo wall and it’s probably the most awkward looking photo in the world.

-Katelyn is an accessory girly🤞 she constantly has hair clips and jewellery and whatever else on and when she gets sick/annoyed if having a hair clip in around Aaron she will wordlessly clip it somewhere onto him. His jumper, his hair, his bag, his shoe etc etc and a lot of the times he doesn’t even notice.

-Katelyn has videos of Aaron singing his absolute heart out while drunk and she reminds him of it whenever he’s being difficult

-a lot of the foxes sing while drunk so it often leads to a mini concert when they drink together

-Wymack has a mug signed by all the foxes that he uses every day because they got it for him on Father’s Day as a joke (Kevin’s name is the biggest)

-the twins have both been caught standing on countertops soooo many times trying to reach stuff but nobody is brave enough to mention it.

-Andrew helps dye Renee’s hair and Renee helps paint Andrews nails.

-Aaron’s septum is ALWAYS squint and it drives Katelyn mad so she always just fixes it for him and he just kinda stares at her in confusion because he honestly forgets he has piercings sometimes.

-jeans new hobby is drawing (I saw Nora say he picks up a new hobby and I’m hoping, wishing and praying it’s art related)

-Jeremy has a habit of doing this 🤙 all the time in photos.

-Kevin and Wymack start going out for lunch once a week after the books take place.

-Andrew fiddles with his piercings and picks his nail varnish when he’s bored/anxious.

-Aaron’s glasses are bent slightly from always falling asleep on them at his desk

-Neil is the only fox who isn’t afraid of spiders so he’s the designated spider remover whenever they see one.

-Neil likes holding Andrews face a lot and sometimes Neil will squish his cheeks slightly too annoy him.

-we all know Andrew has a resting bored face but I think Aaron has the worst case of rbf knows to man bro. Like he will look at Matt or something and Matt will feel the need to apologise.

-Dan, Allison and Renee invite Katelyn for girls nights and slumber parties because they know it annoys Aaron and they actually just really like her.

-Aaron likes the smiths

-Kevin has dimples

-Aaron and Andrew have freckles on their nose, Neil has freckles all over and Jeremy has freckles on his cheeks

-Aaron apologises whenever he cries (trauma response??) and when he lived with Andrew and Nicky they’d always try tell him that he has nothing to apologise for which made him cry even harder

-Neil wears caps and Andrew hates it so whenever Neil wears them Andrew flicks them off his head

-Katelyn is the tallest out of Neil, Andrew and Aaron

-Dan always sends the photos she takes to the person in said photo so that they have a copy of it as-well as it being on the wall.

-Dan and Matt have soooo many matching clothes it’s ridiculous

-Andrew has smoker lungs💔

(he coughs so much it’s concerning sometimes)

And his voice is like raspier than Aarons is

-whenever the twins say something or do something at the same time they just automatically say something like “shut up” or “stop” as if the other did it on purpose.

-the twins always sit weirdly because if they don’t they’re feet will go numb from not being able to reach the floor.

-Dan made a group chat for the foxes that barely ever ended up getting used but after everyone graduates and goes on with their own lives it ends up getting used a lot more for calling/FaceTimes each other

-Nicky sometimes tags along in the twins weekly hang outs/calls

-after that big sleepover the foxes had after getting Neil back they start doing things like that regularly. Having sleepovers, trips, movie nights, baking, board games/game nights, etc because they do start realising that maybe they do care about each other more than they say they do and it should be shown towards one another a lot more or it could be too late🤷‍♀️

Sorry bro there is so much and I can’t think of any more right now 💀

[pedroshotwifey]

To the Flame chapter 16

Series masterlist

Pairing: Dark!Javier Peña x afab!reader

Chapter w/c: 3k

Chapter warnings: mentions of physical abuse, talk of suicide, manipulation, mental abuse, description of injury, controlling behavior, comfort, crying, javi being a dick, javi being "nice", reader being ✨delulu✨, idek how to tag this shit anymore, i think i might be gaslighting myself 💀

Chapter Summary: You get a glimpse of the man you used to know while you try to sort out your feelings in the hospital. You're faced with a tough decision---did you make the right one?

A/N: Don't know what to say about this one. Yes, we all want to scream at reader, yes, we all want to scream at Javi. Scream at me if you'd like and I'll happily scream back 😭 Love you babes!

******

You’re not dead, but you really wish you were. Your body aches more heavily than it ever has. Every breath you take is a massive effort and every twitch of your fingers sends a twinge through your entire body like a shock of electricity. You don’t know what’s easier—breathing deeply or taking in shallow breaths. Deeper means that your chest has to rise and fall painfully with the movement, but shallower makes you feel like you're not getting an efficient amount of air. You don’t want to decide, so you just lay on the kitchen floor and let your body do it for you. 

You don’t think Javi’s here with you, but you honestly could care less if he is or not. All you have to do is turn your head and look around, but you don’t think that’s possible for you right now. You can feel the way your throat has swollen and would pull tight if you tried. You just want to lay with your pain for a while and let it consume you so you don’t have to think. Though your head pounds painfully, it’s the clearest it’s been for weeks. You know you’ll have to get up at some point, but that point is not now. 

You can feel every organ individually, the way they struggle to work with every second that passes. Your lungs heave and sputter as you try to suck breath into them, and you’re suddenly curious to how they’re working at all. There’s no way for you to tell how long you were out or how much water you consumed, but you can only assume it was close to your limit. You thought you were going to die, you really did. 

You have no idea how long you lay there, staring up at the ceiling, before you hear the click of the door opening, then several sets of footsteps making their way inside. Their voices are muffled by the staticy noise in your head, and you frankly don’t care enough to try to figure out what’s going on. 

Javi’s blurry figure comes first, leaning over you as more people crowd in. 

“Sweetheart?” 

His dampened voice sounds panicked. You couldn’t give less of a fuck. You know that you’re probably going to be fine at this point, but you almost wish that you weren’t just to spite him. Suddenly, the light comes on, and your head starts to pound even harder. You close your eyes. 

***** When you open them again, you’re in a bed. Not yours, though, you can tell immediately. There’s daylight in the unfamiliar room coming from the window on the other side. So you know you’ve been out for a while. 

It takes a moment for you to remember what happened—why you’re probably here. And it’s with that realization that the pain returns. It’s more dull this time, immediately making you thankful for whatever meds they have you on. Just the underlying tightness throughout your body is enough for that. 

You blink and look around a bit, trying to scan your surroundings without moving too much. But when you spot the chair in the corner closest to you—who’s sitting in it—your adrenaline spikes. Javi sits up out of the chair as soon as he sees your eyes open and on him. He moves to the side of your bed and your body jerks away from him on instinct. 

“Get away from me,” you bite, though your voice is so strained it’s nearly incomprehensible. 

You can see hurt flash in his eyes for a split second, but it’s quickly replaced by anger. You don’t have time to dwell on that short moment of vulnerability before he has his hands on you, trying to hold you steady as you thrash and try to yell for help. He knows you won’t be able to muster up enough noise to be heard. 

“Fuckin’ stop and listen to me,” he spits, and you do, letting your body go limp before it gets any worse. You lay there and look him in the eye as silent tears sting your cheeks. 

“You’re going to tell them you tried to kill yourself,” he says calmly. You don’t realize you started shaking your head until he grabs your chin and stills you. “You’re going to say you couldn’t handle the stress of the move and you tried to drown yourself in the sink when I got home and found you.” 

You say nothing, because you know there’s no point. Why waste your breath and hurt your throat even more? 

“You tied a scarf around your neck, attached it to a weight, and threw it into the sink.” 

Oh, God. It makes you want to throw up, how elaborate his lie is. That would explain the bruising on your neck. He thought of everything, covered every track. You know you must be looking at him with pure disgust, but you don’t dare change your expression. You want him to see you, what he’s done to you, how he’s made you feel. 

There’s suddenly a knock at the door, and Javi’s expression changes to something almost tender. The hand tightly gripping your face moves to cup your cheek, the other to pet your hair. You feel panic and frustration crawling under your skin, consuming your body until you think you might scream. This is your chance to get away from him, but you know you won’t.  

All you have to do is tell the doctor you want to speak alone, tell them what’s happening, and you’ll never have to go back. But what if he didn’t believe you and you only make it worse for yourself? Or worse than that, what if he does, and you’re taken away from Javi. Exactly what you want, but also the last thing you can ever imagine happening. He’s still there, you can’t leave him. He’s still there. 

So, even as it crushes your soul and makes your heart jump wildly in your chest, you say nothing as Javi calls for the doctor to come in, and a man in a white coat steps inside with a clipboard. He smiles at you, his eyes full of so much pity that it makes you swallow. 

“Glad to see you up, honey. We were real worried for a second there.” 

You say nothing, just watch the doctor as Javi continues to stroke your hair, then places a kiss on your head and backs away for the man to check on you. He comes to your bedside, opposite of your husband, and places his hand on your forehead. 

“Still no fever,” he mumbles to himself, jotting something down on his clipboard. He brings a hand to your neck next, lightly pressing on the skin there with three fingers. He grimaces slightly. “Throat’s still very bruised and swollen. How bad does it hurt when I touch it here?” 

He moves his hand up and places his fingers on a spot right under your jaw and to the left, putting a small amount of pressure there. You try not to flinch. It’s not a lot of weight at all, but it hurts like hell. You can only guess that’s where most of the bruising ended up. 

“Hurts,” you rasp. The doctor puts his lips into a thin line and brings his hand back away. He writes something down and then sets the clipboard on the nightstand. 

“How long have I been here?” you question, voice barely a whisper. 

“You’ve been in and out for about forty-eight hours now,” the doctor tells you, glancing at his watch. “I’m not surprised you don’t remember it, you weren’t very cognizant.” 

You nod, resisting the urge to look at Javi. Instead, you let your head lay back on the pillow and inspect the water-stained ceiling tile above your bed. 

“When will she be cleared to come home?” Javi asks from where he’s sat in the chair. 

The man sighs contemplatively. “If all her vitals stay about the same as they are now for the next few hours, hopefully tonight. We would like to have somebody come talk to her to see where she’s at mentally first, since you’ve said that you work and she stays home. We don’t need her trying something like this again while she’s alone.” 

“I can take time off,” comes Javi’s quick reply, making something twist in your stomach. If you weren’t so mentally exhausted, you might be surprised about that. He had told you before that it was hard for him to just take days off. Though you suppose it would make sense for him to be able to request time for a family emergency. 

“I think that would be best, but we’re still going to have someone in to talk. We need to assess her cognitive functions as much as we need to make sure she’s not planning anything drastic.” 

Even though you’re not looking at him, you know Javi’s jaw is clenched. You know he’s smart enough to hold his tongue to not give himself away, even though he wants to protest more. He doesn’t trust what you might say while you’re alone, and frankly, you don’t either. 

“Can he stay in the room with me?” you croak. 

There’s a beat of silence as you look back to the doctor. He looks at you, then to Javi, then back to you. “Are you sure you don’t want to talk alone? The social worker we have on staff is very—”

“I’m sure,” you cut him off. “I want him here.” 

There’s a sickening sense of betrayal coming from yourself as you decide your fate. You don’t know why you’re doing this, but you do. It hurts your head to try to decode what you’re thinking half the time these days.

The man watches you for a few seconds, obviously trying to gauge how much of a mistake it would be to let you make this decision. “If that’s what makes you comfortable, we can do that.” 

There’s a wave of relief as Javi leans forward slightly to cover your hand with his. 

“I’m here, sweetheart,” he comforts. You visibly relax, letting your body slumping down into the mattress. You let yourself zone out for a bit while Javi and the doctor talk for a minute more, just savoring the warmth of Javi’s hand touching you so gently, so caring. You know you have his approval right now, and it feels so good to bask in it. 

You close your eyes and pretend to be asleep when the doctor leaves, trying to have Javi like this for as long as you can. You’re transported back to one of the first dates you went on with him, leaning up to him in his truck, his free hand over yours as it is now. The smiles you exchanged, the kisses, the laughs. It hurts so fucking bad. To think you’ll never have that again. 

Tears trickle from your shut eyes, a quiet sob leaving your lips even as you try to contain it. 

“Oh, sweetheart,” Javi consoles, genuine sympathy in his voice. It makes you want to cry more. You open your eyes and Javi gets up from the chair, coming to the bed as you begin to sob. You don’t know how to explain to him the grief you’re feeling over him when he’s right there, but you don’t have to. You sit up the best you can and he cups your chin again, watching you tenderly with furrowed brows. 

“I know, honey, I know,” he coos before tucking your head to his chest. “I’ve got you. Get it all out.” 

And you do, you wrap your arms around him and cry into his chest until you can feel his shirt soaking your cheek. You shake and heave and clench the fabric until your tears go thin and start to burn your skin. 

He’s patient with you, holding you the entire time, whispering reassurances and rubbing your back, holding your head to him. It feels like your Javi. Yours. But it only makes you miss him more because you don’t know if it’s true. Don’t know if he’s snapped out of this awful trance that’s consumed him, or if he’s only here momentarily when you need him most. Either way, you let his care overwhelm you, let yourself drown in the affection. 

****

It’s only when you open your swollen eyes a few hours later that you realize you’d cried yourself to sleep in his lap. You’re laying down now, Javi in the same spot he was the first time you woke up. There’s a woman in the room talking to him, but you’re too groggy to think about what they’re saying. More nonsense about your mental state, you’re sure. 

And just like that, the love that had consumed you a few hours ago starts to fade. Your mental state. The carefully constructed lies you’re about to tell this woman. She turns to you when she sees you try to sit up, rushing to your side with a gentle smile. 

“Careful, don’t want you straining anything,” she says, placing her hands on your arms to help you. You nod at her, still trying to wake back up. Your eyes hurt from crying and your head is throbbing again. You really don’t want to talk right now, but you know you have to if you want to get out of here. 

“You know why I’m here?” the woman asks gently. Her name tag reads Chloe. She looks a bit older than you and has the most beautiful green eyes you’ve ever seen. You decide you like her. 

You nod, then realize it’s probably better to be verbal. “Yes,” you tell her. 

She nods understandingly, rubbing your upper arm in a comforting motion. “I’ve been told you’d like your husband to stay in the room while we talk?”

You confirm again, glancing at Javi, who seems to still be in whatever state he was earlier. 

“Alright, I’m just going to ask you a few questions, and then we’ll get you out of here. Sound good?” 

You nod, swallowing the thickness in your throat. “You mind if I sit?” Chloe asks, gesturing to the side of your bed. You shake your head no and she makes herself comfortable, clipboard in her lap. She doesn’t even look at Javi, which relaxes you a bit. Her sole focus is you.

“I know it’s not going to be easy, but I promise to be patient. You can take all the time you need. Are you ready?” 

“I’m ready,” you reply before you change your mind about doing this with Javi. 

“Okay. Can you tell me how you tried to take your life last Friday? In as much detail as you’re comfortable with.” 

You take a deep breath, force yourself to not look at your husband, and pray you don’t mess this up. 

“I tried to drown myself,” you lie quietly. “I tied a scarf around my neck and attached it to a weight. Then I filled the sink with water—.” You have to pause, emotion hitting you hard all of a sudden. You blink and swallow the lump in your throat. “I filled the sink with water and threw the weight in.” 

Chloe nods somberly, watching you with the same pitying look the doctor had earlier. “It’s okay to cry, honey. It’s a hard thing to talk about. You’re very brave for doing so.”

You listen to her, bowing your head and letting your tears overflow. They’re slower than the ones you’d cried with Javi. More quiet. They feel more like defeat than grief. Chloe writes something down and looks back at you. 

“And why did you feel like that was the best way to achieve what you were trying to do?” 

You bite your lip, contemplating for a second. “Because I knew it would work over everything else. I thought it would.”

She jots something down.  

“There are no firearms in your house?” 

“Only mine, and it stays on me all day,” Javi provides before you can say anything. Chloe whips her head around to him. 

“Did I ask for your input?” 

“No,” you say, before whatever just happened could escalate. The last thing you need right now is Javi getting angry. “Just his.” 

She turns back to you, gentleness returning to her face. She again scribbles something down. 

“Two more,” she tells you. “We’re almost done. You’re doing really well.” 

You nod at her, giving her a small smile. 

“Do you wish you had succeeded? Why or why not?” 

You answer quickly, maybe a little too quickly. You hate the way you still feel like you’re lying when you tell her no. “I was just overwhelmed that night. I was lucky that Javi came home when he did.” 

She nods, writes something down, and asks you the last one. 

“You’re not going to try to take your life again?” 

“I’m not. I don’t want to die.” It almost hurts to have to say it. You don’t even know if that’s true. You put on a brave face though, needing her to believe it even if you don’t. 

She writes the last thing down and smiles at you. “Okay, I’m going to go talk to some staff and get you ready to go home. It was very nice to meet you. I hope things go well in your future.” She holds her hand out for you to shake, and you do. 

“Thank you, it was nice to meet you, too,” you tell her honestly. 

You wait to hear the click of the door before you look at Javi. He doesn’t look angry exactly, but you can tell he didn’t like Chloe at all. But he still nods approvingly at you, taking your hand again. 

“You did good, sweetheart,” he says. 

***** A couple of nurses come in about an hour later to take you out to Javi’s truck. They watch as he helps you in, waves his thanks, and gets in the driver’s side. You cuddle up next to him like you used to, and a calm feeling starts to ebb its way into you. He holds you tight the entire way back to the apartment, and after cooking you dinner, holds you tight as you fall asleep.  This. This is why you stay.

*****

What are we thinkin'? 👀

Series taglist: @corazondebeskar @yorksgirl @nerdieforpedro @axshadows @melaninmommy

@survivingandenduring @kewwrites @oldenoughtoknowbettersstuff @missladym1981 @sofiparallel

@koshkaj-blog @sheepdogchick3 @movievillainess721 @jessie8605 @casa-boiardi

@justlulu @iamsherlocked-1998 @hjzghi-blog @glitterymanboy @letstalkaboutshtufff

@untamedheart81 @1nsommia @joelmillersblog

[faust-the-enjoyer]

Anonymous asked: Idek how to do asks but please cod bois(or just ghost if I must choose) with a s/o that smells way too good all the time like people in the street always turn their heads n stuff

Head-Turner

Tags: gn!reader, pre-established relationship, sfw.

-Divider by (Saradika-graphics)!

After one of your relatives bought you a whole birthday set of shampoo, conditioner, small perfumes, and small hand creams that smell minty, you finally thought to try them out instead of letting them sit in the corner of your closet. They're good, to say the least.

So good that when you hugged your friend to greet them, they asked about your shampoo because you "smell so fresh and clean!". So good that when you passed by the secretary of your workplace, they complemented you on your perfume, at least twice. So good that when you went to hug your boyfriend and give him a kiss on the cheek, his hold on you lingered and he rested his head on top of yours, taking in the minty scent of your hair.

Needless to say, you liked the attention you were getting, and you felt good about yourself too, so you kept it up. After using up all of the products that were in the set until their bottles were pretty much empty, you bought yourself another set, one that smells earthy, musky. One that had your friend begging you to tell them where you bought your set of products from. One that ended up making your boyfriend rest his head in the nook of your neck one evening, kissing your skin and making you chuckle, "Smell so good love, hell, maybe I should get myself some of what you're wearing.", he smiles into your shoulder's skin as you pull him closer into your embrace.

[lemonhemlock]

I think another reason that’s unfortunately being tip-toed around in terms of Greens centric fanworks is that a section of the fandom has become rife with unfortunately misogynistic and hateful rhetoric. And I don’t mean “supporting Aegon makes you a misogynist” because we know that isn’t true in the slightest, but the crew who will call Alicent a whore for what she does in season 2, yet tell anyone who points out Aegon’s early writing that can’t be considered because it was biased against TG. Or the ones who said Helaena is a shitty mom because Phia (real person!) joked about Helaemond as a ship. Or somehow make out that Helaena took advantage of him because he hates incest and being with her so much, how he was abused in his own marriage. I had to step back from a lot of these spaces because of how everything had to centre him to the point of upsetting comments about these female characters when they didn’t exist to serve Aegon (or when someone had a take on them that didn’t focus around him.) So I do not blame people for being unwilling to explore these dynamics- not only did the show fail to give us anything, but operating in this fandom is a minefield.

I hear you, anon. Not only is it a very divided fandom, even into micro-cliques, but it truly is a minefield and you have no way of knowing when someone who you originally found cool turns around and emits some really weird takes. And that's when they're not being outwardly misogynistic or ignorant in some way. Or just set on getting into altercations all the time.

I suppose it was only a matter of time until Aegon got his own aegoncels and aegonwives to protect his claim from the dangers of other fans not prioritising him, no? :))

IDEK what to tell you, I only occasionally go on twitter, and I find new people to follow here mostly after they've already found me. :)) I know those troublemakers must be out there, but I rarely go into the tags or the 'for you' page and just stick to my dashboard. It can get uneventful sometimes, but at least I can avoid takes like demonising Phia because she made a helaemond joke (good lord!).

Also, overall, I just tune out when I see someone making the watsonian/doylist distinction when it comes to one character, but not extending the same level of analysis to another. It just proves to me their methodology is really faulty (speaking of Aegon having bad writing in S1, but Alicent not being extended the same courtesy lol).

[magicalmischel]

WIP TAG GAME 🌿

rules: make a new post with the names of all the files in your wip folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it! and then tag as many people as you have wips

thanks for tagging me @regulusrules ! 💖

I have a lot of wips too 😂 most of these are for BBC Merlin, a few are for classic who. I hope I don't forget anything, I keep a list but I haven't updated it in like a year 😂

BBC MERLIN WIPS

The Crystal Hunters; 45k

a canon era time travel fic with merthur and morgwen, set during the Great Purge. There's lots of plot, magic, crystals, old castles and running.

Layers of Dusk; 17k

a darker fic where Arthur dies and so Merlin tries his hand at necromancy

Give Me Your Hand, I'll Give You Mine; 1300 words

canon era, merthur, magical injuries caused by the great purge and a magic reveal.

"the medieval roommates valentine fic" (untitled); 2500 words

merlin is forced to stay in arthur's chambers 24/7 bc of plot. Not sure if I'll ever finish this one tbh

Rhythm of Love; ??k

glastonbury festival fic where arthur returns + musician!merlin. I have no idea how many years ago I started this, definitely pre-2018 though. Idek if I still have the draft somewhere ;-;

Suddenly Flames Everywhere; 77k

;-; i think abt this fic every day and try to work on it at least once a week ;-; i wanted to post it for acbb 2023 but i ran out of time, and then once the deadline was gone, so was most of my motivation 😂 it's a merthur enemies to lovers dragon!merlin soulmate canon au that I care about very very much. pls ask me abt it if you want maybe it'll kick me into working on it more 😂

The Light of Knowledge; ?????k

oof this is an old one. started it way back in 2014 and I'm honestly not sure if I still have the draft saved somewhere. All I remember is a big maze, lots of bad poems that I wrote in like the 9th grade and merthur 😂

Falling into Empty Space (??); 400 words lmao

basically a s1!merlin vs s5!merlin epic fight with time travel to 1x08 bc obviously killing kid!mordred is wrong, right? Right??

"ghost!merlin canon au fic" (untitled); 9k

exactly what it says in the title. damn i need to return to this ;-;

"cat!merlin fic" (untitled), 1000 words

canon era, merthur, magic reveal. Merlin transforms himself into a cat bc of course that is the absolute best way to get arthur to accept magic. it only makes sense in his head lmao

Burn Us Away (But Keep Me in Your Heart); 11.8k

canon soulmate au with a LOT of angst and a magic reveal

"the bird!merlin fic"; 1000 words

first written for merlin bingo 2021 but I never finished it ;-;

No Doubt in My Mind Where You Belong; 12k

a canon era trans!merlin fic with established relationship merthur

"cuddle fic" (untitled); 1300 words

written for fluffalooza 2023 but never finished ;-;

"one bed fic" (untitled); 1900 words

also written for fluffalooza but never finished bc it felt too ridiculous/cracky/ooc, but it might be worth reworking

"the weird tarot crack fic" (untitled); 2.8k

written for tarot fest 2023 but abandoned bc i came up with a better idea for the fest. I remember it was very cracky, I might return to it. Canon era merthur.

i might be forgetting some tbh, I've written a lot of drabbles that I later wanted to expand but never did ;-;

CLASSIC DOCTOR WHO WIPS

"jamie/10 + 11 fic" (untitled); 3.5k

the 10th doctor visits all his companions before regenerating into 11 including jamie <3

"twojamie war games "make it worse" fic" (untitled); 849 words

this is theoretically a fix-it but also i make it much worse first lmao, and i'm not sure yet how it ends either, so is it really a fix-it??

ok and I think that's it!! ;-; i did write a little something for each of the titles but hopefully not too much so if anyone sees this and wants to know more feel free to dm me

i'm not gonna tag 18 people though that's way too many 😂 I'll tag @insane-ohwhyfandoms (good luck) @lair-of-the-dragon @lesbianlefay @invisibility-superiority @queerofthedagger @wolfiery @haventacluewhatimdoing and @twojamie-o-clock <3

absolutely no pressure to do this though of course! 💖

[moku-youbi]

Entitled AO3 Commenters

Fam, we really need to talk about the toxic behaviour that's going on in AO3 comments these days. I know there's a lot going around about how people just want to consume, consume, consume, and move onto the next thing, and most don't even bother to kudo or comment, which is pretty heartbreaking as it is.

But sometimes, I think the folks that *do* comment, but do so in a shitty, entitle way, are even worse. Because it's like wow, you put in the time and effort to make a comment, but you were an absolute douche about it. Now, in some of these cases, I wonder if it's just young people who are new to the world of ao3 and just don't know better. Maybe they honestly don't realise what's wrong with the things they've written. So let's look at a few examples of shitty comments, and talk about why they're shitty, and what could be done to make them more acceptable.

I'm giving people the benefit of the doubt here, even when it's difficult to do so. I'd like to believe that it's just a difference in age and how we've learned to communicate with strangers online. So please, if you're guilty of these things, instead of getting angry or hurt seeing this, just think about how to do better?

So a lot has been said about the "when are you going to update again/I'm desperate for an update/" or even the *shudder* "since you haven't updated in x, I'm going to put this through an AI engine to finish the fic!" comments:

Setting aside the fact that this fic is 44 chapters and over 180k words in length, and this person never left a single comment on it or any of my other fics to tell me they enjoy my work, and how shitty it feels to know your work was apparently loved and appreciated, but not enough to actually *say* that except to demand more of it, sooner... AND the fact that I have long notes on the fic and the series about why the parts are being written and posted in the order they are...

Let's talk about why these comments aren't helpful, and in fact can often have the opposite effect of what you're hoping. Authors are already likely feeling crummy about their writer's block or real life circumstances getting in the way of working on that WIP, and these comments compound the guilt we feel, which makes it even more difficult to work on. It can make us want to avoid even looking at/thinking about that WIP, no matter how well-meaning the comment.

Fic writers are real people with real lives. I only have a couple hours free time to myself everyday, and a lot of times I'm so tired I just want to do something that's mindless fun. Most nights, however, I forgo a movie or video game (IDEK the last time I played a game! and I love gaming!) or reading to work on my WIPs. Even so, these comments are a reminder that to the people reading, that's not enough. They will consume my story, not bother to thank me for it, then demand more.

Often times, you can leave the same comment going on about how much you love it, just delete the parts asking about updates and/or assuming the fic is abandoned, okay?

Next we have the 'did not bother to read the tags and/or author's note' commenters:

The problem with this comment is that this fic is tagged as "no archive warnings apply" which means there is no underage content. Furthermore, while his age isn't explicitly stated in the fic, I have made it clear he is an adult, in college within the text of the story. I have the following in my author's notes at the beginning of the fic: "Tom Holland is my Spider-Man, but I have aged him up here, as he's in college, so. Feel free to imagine whichever spidey floats your boat"

If I'm going to give this commenter the benefit of the doubt (something that is increasingly difficult to do with anti culture), then at best, they do not read tags, summaries, or notes, and expect to be able to ask an author prior to reading their works to answer a comment that is already addressed multiple times.

If you're honestly worried about being triggered, or reading content you don't want to read, then I suggest just straight up avoiding fics that aren't clear enough to you from the tags/summary/notes. If you've read all those and it seems ambiguous, just skip it. Or if the story still sounds good, then maybe just skim the beginning of the story, even. Context clues are your friends, my dudes. If the character is a college student, chances are good they're adults.

The 'lacks reading comprehension' commenters:

Is it wrong to ask questions of an author when you don't understand something? I actually think it's a great way of interacting with authors and can lead to better understanding and appreciation of the work. However, there are a few problems with *how* you ask a question.

First of all, the problem commenters have not previously left a comment of any kind, and don't bother to include any sort of positive feedback along with their question. They just rock up to your inbox demanding an answer to a question they have, that makes you realise they weren't even really paying attention to your work (or the source material for that matter.)

In this case, smartphones don't exist in the canon work, and only exist in my fic because the characters have suddenly been thrust into a different universe. Klaus doesn't understand smartphones because he grew up with them. He is able to quickly adapt to the new technology of the world, while others, like Viktor, are confused by it. This is all explained quite thoroughly in the text.

The 'doesn't know how to google' commenters, who might also be the 'disingenuous question' commenters:

Again, going to give this commenter the benefit of the doubt that they aren't just an asshole anti. So you don't know what Thorki is, but you're on AO3, home of All The Relationship Tags. Even if you didn't think to search it there, google exists, and is your friend. Type Thorki in there, and it's not even like you've got to narrow your search or add 'ship' or anything. The top result is the Thorki page of shipping wiki, and the next several links are photos of Thor/Loki. There is literally no other result given on the first page of google.

But LBR, this is likely an anti trying to subtly shame me for shipping Thorki. In which case, I'd invite you to look at my author page and see the types of fics I write regularly, and maybe just take your nonsense elsewhere.

The 'why are you here?' commenters:

Again, it's not like there's anything wrong with this kind of question! I too have seen PFPs of people on AO3 and been curious myself. The problem is, once again, coming onto one of my works and, without acknowledging the work that I've put so much time and effort into the thing they're commenting on, they just demand an answer.

What's particularly bewildering about this is that it isn't even in the 4 most recent works I've posted. So instead of just seeing my PFP and clicking on the first thing they see and asking there (still a little rude, but maybe more understandable??) it seems they were here to look at my work, and in doing so saw my PFP, and decided to ask.

Look, there's a way to ask these kinds of questions, young folks, and so I present to you

The proper way to ask a question commenter <3 :

Look at that! The commenter was able to get their question answered, and I was delighted to respond to them, because they took a few lines to tell me that they'd appreciated the work it pertains to. Honestly, I don't even need that much, although it's sincerely appreciated and makes my day. But even a simple "Loved the story, it was a lot of fun. BTW--that house..." would be cool.

We've all had those times when we get a burning question reading the fic--

"Is it possible they were referencing those lyrics??? I mean, it's not a very popular song, but it seems so obvious!!!" (probably, and the author is likely gonna be super excited you know that song, too)

"Did that line mean to insinuate what it did? Is that foreshadowing? Are those characters secretly screwing?" (the author may play coy, or they might be super excited you picked up on the thing they were hinting, or maybe they'll be annoyed you ruined the surprise?? but that's on them being brought up in the Marvel era of no spoilers)

Or indeed the questions about PFP or what house/city/clothing you used as reference.

But unless you're a regular commenter, popping up with just that question is abrupt at best, and shows a lack of common courtesy. Like, okay. Imagine running up to your favourite actor/singer/author in public and instead of saying "I'm a huge fan/I loved X/you're an amazing author/lyricist/actor/etc", you just immediately start bombarding them with questions "When are you going to write a new song/What did you mean on page 126 when you said/why did you decide to write these two characters together/etc etc."

Just imagine that you are addressing a living person with real human feelings, and ask yourself, if I were talking to them face to face, would this be an acceptable way to address/open a conversation with a stranger.

[fxshrxfmxn]

How to Request

I have decided that I will write for The Chosen. Maybe a good decision, maybe a bad decision. But here we are.

This seems like overkill right now if I’m honest, but I might thank myself later.

As of this moment, I do not have a masterlist, however, I do tag all of my writings so you can search them and read them all.

Just search:

fxshrxfmxn writings

Or

fxshrxfmxn fanfic

And they should all be made available to you to find relatively easily💖

To make things a bit easier for me and how I want to stay within my beliefs, I’m setting up guidelines for requesting writing from me for The Chosen.

Before I begin, it is important that we all understand that I am writing for the storyline of The Chosen. Each event in The Chosen was either spun by the writers and directors OR pulled from the Bible itself. I am writing for the character that the actors in the show portray, not the real people themselves. The Bible and the Chosen, to me, are separate things and I will be treating them as such. (I am for sure okay with talking about scripture itself, but in a different kind of context.)

Anyways…

With traditionally romantic writings, things tend to be a bit touchy and comfy. That’s fine, I love that. Lord knows, I will be huggy with my future other half before marriage(I don’t think I could just not touch them, luckily our current culture allows for that.)

But the culture in bible time was very different. The parents would arrange with the parents, or the parents would talk to the guy. There wasn’t dating as it is now, certainly not premarital kissing or hugging, not in public anyways, because it was seen as improper. Also pretty much no touching. So, I really want to try and keep things more proper.

In A Misunderstanding (my fic about John the Beloved) I do think that’s the most contact I will allow for “romantic” fics, that I write. Not entirely true to the proper culture back then, but less scandalous, y’know?

(I might budge the line occasionally, but if it doesn’t feel right, I just won’t write it. I will for sure communicate that to the requester.)

That being said, I have only written for John so far, I will write for anyone in the show. I am female, so anything “romantic”, I will only write for the men in the show(anyone BUT Jesus(obviously)), and beyond that if you want just a chill fic about hanging with the Marys and Ramah and Tamar, I can do that. I love writing fanservice, just shenanigans and things of that nature are super fun. Give me a challenge, I love those.

So: Keep it E for everyone, not even PG. Minimal hand holding; maybe a few hugs. No kissing on the mouth and certainly no NSFW. Men and women, who were not married, weren’t allowed to be alone together. So that is the way my fics will be.

(Not telling other people they shouldn’t be writing it, (you write what you like and are comfortable with) I am just setting a personal standard for myself and will be keeping to it.)

I am a female and, as this is already out of my comfort zone, will only be writing from the female perspective.

NO:

-NSFW

-Mouth to Mouth(kissing)(unless it’s a marriage fic, which Idek if I’m comfortable writing that yet)(idk why either so don’t ask)

-No being completely alone with the opposite sex

-if the character is married or already betrothed in the show, please keep the request platonic.

-edit: 10/23 anything same sex romantic is a no as well. I will not change my mind. Any messages/comments will be deleted/reported and you will be blocked if you harass me about it. We can discuss things without those coming into the mix.

YES:

-Shenanigans(practical jokes and things of that nature, family friendly comedy stuff)

- Girl time with the female disciples

-Found family is my favorite trope, so anything about learning to cohabitate in a camp with a bunch of Christ’s followers? Yes, please.

-prompts about Christ accepting you as you are, calling you to follow him and helping you turn from old lifestyles are fics that I think can be very healing. (Things like this I will be discerning on a prompt to prompt basis)

Characters I will write for at least once:

Simon Peter(platonic only please)

Simon Z

Thomas(platonic only please)

Andrew

Matthew(either romantic or platonic for now until we actually figure out where his relationship with Mary is going)

Nathaniel

Thaddeus

Big James

Little James

John the Beloved(of course)

Judas(tentatively because I have a personal bias to get over(I had always thought of him as the villain(which isn’t the case))

Philip

Any of the girls(Mary, Mary M., Ramah, Tamar, Eden, Salome)(platonic only please)

Jesus(platonic only please(I shouldn’t have to say that, but there’s always someone)

Potentially Quintus, Atticus, and/or Gaius(platonic only please) (I would actually prefer platonic for all three, but I will use discernment on a prompt by prompt basis.)

TL;DR: Every prompt that comes to me, I will use my own discernment for whether I am comfortable or not with writing it, all I ask is that you be respectful if your prompt is not answered the way you want it to be. If you request something that goes against everything on the “NO” list, your request will be discarded, so I recommend you at least read that bit.

Tutorial on how to request anything from me:

Use the ask button! Or send me a message! Both are located in the upper right hand corner for mobile. I don’t use a computer, so I’m not sure where those buttons are at on the computer.

I also prefer dialogue prompts have at least two bits of dialogue and a genre with it, just for a bit more guidance on what you want.

Will do headcanons, but if you could say whether you want separate headcanons or just a group headcanon so that I give you exactly what you want and don’t have to guess, that’d be great.

I love you so much because Jesus loves you so much and wants the best for you. I respect you as a person, the way Jesus respects you and ask that you extend me the same courtesy.

Blessings to each and every one of you. 💗✨🫶🏻

[b1mbodoll]

i keep getting asks regarding the blog that the anon questioned me about and i dont wanna flood my blog with this bc i feel bad so i’ll answer these here! and please don’t twist my words!!! i am allowed to feel some type of way abt this situation! at first i was giving them the benefit of the doubt bc i don’t wanna point fingers or seem like a mean person bc i wld hate to be thought of as a meanie T_T but im just gna reply to these real quick pls do not be rude or hateful to me, my nonies, or the writer!! thank you.

first: i do not know the writer at all, nonie! but i can understand why you would think that

second: i understand being upset for me, i’m also a bit bothered by this if m bein’ honest :( but i do not want anyone being rude to them or sending any hateful messages! i also noticed the emoticon and how they switched up the link titles so it wasnt exactly the same but :T there’s nothin i can do abt it T_T m too afraid of confrontation

third: i can understand why you’re upset about the “tone tags” thing! as someone who is audhd and relies on tone tags the majority of the time, it’s a little upsetting when people don’t do their research on the topic T_T but i’m not saying they didnt! i dont know them personally nor do i know if they’re nd! but i do see why you think it’s bothersome, nonie! blog tags are Not tone tags

fourth: idk if this was meant to be disrespectful to them bcz again i struggle with reading and processing tone, especially through text T_T but like i said earlier i understand being upset for me bc i am as well, considering i’ve spent so much time prettyin up my blog n making it a reflection of my personality n it makes me a lil sad when people jus’ take that from me without even asking :( it’s such a silly thing to be upset about, i know, but im rly proud of how my blog is set up n it sucks having it copied

fifth: i hate being bothered by something like this but i get where ur coming from anonie T_T this isn’t the first time i’ve noticed someone copying little bits of who i am -_- but i’ve never said anything bc like i said i hate (!!!!!!!) confrontation n i won’t say anything to this writer (and neither should you guys!!!!!!!) either :x but i have and i do notice when people take my lil phrases n terms of endearment nd blog related stuff like my tags n layout T_T n it bums me out so bad bc i try so hard to show my personality thru this account n ppl just take pieces n agh!!! idek what im sayin im jus a lil upset rn :T

anyway!!!!!! again guys please, please, please don’t be rude or mean or send hateful stuff to other creators!!!!! i choose kindness n it’d mean the world to me if you all did too <3 n sry if i seem silly for letting this bother me T_T i know it’s kinda stupid but i’m autistic and idk if anyone else struggles w this but i really really really get upset over stuff like this T_T anyway that’s all !!! rmb to be kind pls

[ao3feed-piltovers-finest]

dear, hello, salutations, love, sincerely, from, goodbye

by idkwhatimdoingbutslay

“Pretend? Like pretending to date? Vi, are you delirious? When was the last time you ate? Is it a concussion? Have you been wearing your proper lacrosse gear?” Caitlyn rubs her temples, massaging them as if her head was on the verge of exploding. “I’m just saying, we could both get something out of keeping this up.” “It has the be a concussion,” Caitlyn murmurs under her breath. Vi rolls her eyes at her dramatics, picking up her bag and throwing the strap over her shoulder before hopping out. Caitlyn leans her head against the rest behind her, closing her eyes and clenching her long digits around the leather wheel. Vi leans back down into the car, her hand on the roof as she pokes her head back in. “You don’t have to give me an answer now. Just… think about it.” She finally shut the door, leaving Caitlyn to do what she does best. Caitlyn takes a while to pull away, but as soon as The Last Drop’s door shuts behind her, she’s gone.

💌💙💘💌

Caitlyn and Vi are trying to juggle responsibilities, insecurities, family issues and their futures all at once when Caitlyn's love letters accidentally get out and show them a new way of living.

Words: 5055, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English

Fandoms: Arcane: League of Legends (Cartoon 2021), League of Legends

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: F/F

Characters: Caitlyn (League of Legends), Vi (League of Legends), Mylo (Arcane: League of Legends), Claggor (Arcane: League of Legends), Jinx (League of Legends), Vander (League of Legends), Cassandra Kiramman, Tobias Kiramman, Miss Sarah Fortune, Jayce (League of Legends), Corina Veraza, Kai'Sa (League of Legends)

Relationships: Caitlyn/Vi (League of Legends), Caitlyn & Miss Sarah Fortune, Miss Sarah Fortune/Vi, Jinx & Vi (League of Legends), Vander & Vi (League of Legends), Caitlyn (League of Legends) & Cassandra Kiramman & Tobias Kiramman, Caitlyn/Corina Veraza, Caitlyn & Jayce (League of Legends)

Additional Tags: Jinx Goes by Powder (League of Legends), Alternate Universe - High School, based on the award winning movie To All The Boys I've Loved Before, Love Letters, Everyone Is Alive, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Vi Needs a Hug (League of Legends), Caitlyn Needs a Hug (League of Legends), Falling In Love, romcom, theyre cute and messy, its takes a min but they get there, ive been screaming about this au in my mind for too long, Hot Tub, LMAO, Politics, not much but its in there, Girls Kissing, idek what else but its fun !!!!!, Mommy Issues

Read on A03. from AO3 works tagged ‘Caitlyn/Vi (League of Legends)’

[captainaikus]

that's a relief! the fact that you remember your anons makes me feel very warm and fuzzy 😭 happy that you think of me when you listen to chase atlantic 🫶 speaking of kaiser... that man was a literal menace during the previous bllk chapters omg i fucking hate him (holy shit i think i fell for him deeper 😞 my taste in personified red flags is extremely questionable) nonetheless, i'm looking forward to your next works!

really glad you've been faring well and your ao3 move is doing good. i get your point and i agree w/ it. tumblr's system is shit. some authors get like 700+ likes from posting a twt p0rn link?? i have nothing against them, if that's what some people prefer then so be it. but seeing the small authors who pump out actual high-quality content and not getting enough appreciation for it is saddening. in the first place i downloaded tumblr solely for the purpose of reading fanfics and poetry-related stuff. now all i see are twt p0rn links flooding my feed and that never ever fails to tick me off (come on man i just want to read some fics with good plots 😞). the main reason i haven't deleted this app yet is because of some authors i follow (including you), who actually work their asses off for their readers. that's something i highly appreciate. i'll admit—ao3 is better when it comes to giving smaller authors justice. at least you won't have pussyass anons coming after you in the most passive-aggressive way possible for no reason :D

i wish you the best of luck! ❤️

– 🌷

Apologies for responding to this late; I really like uncomfortable by chase atlantic and heaven and back is giving me some ideas... gonna start working on that when i'm done with this wip - Honey. I love like Aiku, he is literally the biggest red flag you can find in bllk (smh Idek why I fell for him - literally saw him and said yes.) I love him sm After reading his panels and guessing everything right about him, we're soulamtes my soulmate is actually Sae though... but we don't walk about that I'm waiting for the next chapter to drop so that i can see the loml 😭 Rant ahead so feel free to skip - Exactly the point. Like here's the thing about the author community on tumblr. I've usually stuck to my own blog cause of it - when you get buddy with some authors; it comes with its own set of problems cause when they get dragged into some kind of a discourse, everyone they've spoken to get dragged into it as well, even readers come up with some really crazy theories regarding content, similarities etc etc. It's one of the reasons that i'm not a very author to author interactive blog with just dropping in here and there. Not to mention that authors tend to stick to their own online circle and getting into one isn't as easy as it looks? They will judge you by the amount you have reblogged which shouldn't be the case tbh. And i don't reblog other author's works since i stopped reading things 2 years ago here and ever since I started writing ff i only checked the tags for seeing if my work turned up or not. Rather than preferring an author and author relationship, i prefer having one with my readers since they are the ones to hype my works up and send me good feedback. I feel really bad for small time authors on this platform cause authors who have dominated one fandom, entirely; are getting into smaller fandoms - and with their huge followings, they tend to take most of the space and fame compared to small time authors who have some really good quality content. Like was taking one or even two fandom/s not enough? But then its always the same story of "what's wrong with being a multi-fandom blog?" or "We're creating free/ quality content so what's the problem?" The discourse and the toxicity here is actually never ending, it's something that I've been noticing for four years now... and it was high time that i moved to ao3 cause here both authors and readers are toxic, cause authors are trying to keep readers down sometimes and readers... some of the them report your work even if it takes hours to create it. Not to mention that it even escalates to getting death threats which is another level of extremism cause of the lack of sensitivity that there's an actual breathing live person on the other side of the screen. Coming to the links that people attach to their posts and decide to post them, half the time I just think about the 15k notes from giving a visual from twitter that's not even their own content to begin with. Like yes, there are people who like erotica on the internet but in fandoms, its more of the literary work compared to a visual unless its drawn. and it makes me think how easy it was to make that and here you have some of us just... slogging it out or working hard on every line since it's more handmade compared to this. and what's weird is that authors seem to not pick up that queue and continue doing it. My opinion might seem harsh but it is what it is.

[kingdaddydaichi]

I posted 1,020 times in 2022

That's 409 more posts than 2021!

331 posts created (32%)

689 posts reblogged (68%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@kingdaddydaichi

@yuujispinkhair

@victoriacapo

@chaoskrakenuwu

@mxgenderbender

I tagged 946 of my posts in 2022

Only 7% of my posts had no tags

#katsuki my king 👑 - 198 posts

#haikyuu - 82 posts

#precious moots - 78 posts

#king dom daddy daichi 👑 - 75 posts

#daddy daichi - 74 posts

#hq - 73 posts

#kel speaks - 64 posts

#yuuji my cupcake 🧁 - 64 posts

#katsuki bakugou - 63 posts

#daichi - 62 posts

Longest Tag: 137 characters

#remind me to call him next time i buy a whole ass watermelon so i can watch him smash it into bite size pieces before feeding it to me 🤤

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Dynamight came crashing through the ER doors with a scowl on his face. The nurses at the front desk sat back in their chairs when his fiery eyes fixated on them.

"Where is she?" he demanded loudly. "Fucking speak!"

"W-who, sir?"

He rolled his eyes and slammed his fist down on the desk, splintering the wood beneath. "(F/n L/n), dumbass! Ain't many other people I'd fucking be here for!"

Moments later, Katsuki was lumbering through the pulmonary ward of the hospital, his shoulders flexing as his gauntlets swung at his sides, gritting his teeth and growling at anyone who stood between him and the door of your hospital room.

One nurse started to ask for his identification until another nurse put their hand on her shoulder and shook their head no.

He'd talked the talk and walked the walk but when he turned the door handle to enter your room, he did so with such a careful, fluid motion so as not to wake you if you were sleeping.

He held onto the door as it closed behind him, letting it latch with a quiet click before turning it loose. He took one graceful stride after another, his heavy boots hitting the tiled floor like feathers as he moved in closer to your motionless body.

Katsuki Bakugou was a hard man, tough as nails and always ready to take on whatever threat or villain or challenge life could possibly throw at him head first. What he wasn't prepared for was some nameless, faceless enemy that had taken up residence in your body. Probably tiny - microscopic, even - and hiding in places he could never see. He felt helpless. Powerless.

He gingerly removed the gauntlet from his right arm and delicately set it down on the floor beside his feet, his scarlet eyes never leaving your form in the process.

He could hear your labored breaths even as he remembered his promise to himself going into this: that he wouldn't fucking cry. But he stood corrected, one tear...then another falling onto the clean, white sheet next to the tube that had been medically inserted into your lung to keep it inflated.

He took your limp hand into his - hard, rough, calloused, and shaking - and kissed your forehead. "I don't know what the fuck this is, baby, but once I find out I'm gonna kick it in it's tiny, shitty balls and make it wish it never found you."

for @xviternity You've made so much art for me...now it's my turn. 🧡🖤🧡. I hope you feel better soon! 🥹

847 notes - Posted June 5, 2022

#4

⇢ title: dangerous

⇢ pairing: k. bakugou x f!reader

⇢ wc: 1k

⇢ warnings/notes: nsfw, mdni, katsuki is aged up 27+

See the full post

1,140 notes - Posted September 12, 2022

#3

1000th Post Special!

Back by popular demand...

Dad/Dilf!Katsuki Bakugou Headcanons

₰ pairing: Dad!Dilf!Katsuki Bakugou x f!Reader

₰ wc: fuck, idek

₰ cw/an: my 1000th post (yay)!, katsuki is aged up (as per usual), dad/sfw section first, dilf/nsfw section last, mdni, tbh i'm so fucking exhausted rn so kindly let me know if you see something that i should include here and i'll be happy to do so, hold onto your ovaries my fellow bakuhoes!

See the full post

2,363 notes - Posted July 18, 2022

#2

Katsuki Bakugou not giving a fuck about you while he drives away from your place.

You'd yelled at him to leave, tears streaming down your face, angry that he had led you on only for him to act like he felt nothing for you.

He thought about how little he cared about your smile. How few shits he gave about all the times you'd run your fingers through his thick, unruly blond hair. He rolled his amber eyes at the idea that his heart especially ached on the nights and days you didn't spend together. The great explosion user gripped the steering wheel harder, the leather protesting and smoking underneath his sparking death grip.

You'd cried and told him that he was too scared to be loved. He had scoffed and told you he wasn't scared of shit.

But now he was scared shitless.

Scared that he might lose you forever.

He white-knuckled the steering wheel, strategically yanking it around while pulling on the hand brake before speeding off in the direction from whence he'd come.

He didn't give a single fuck that he scraped the front scoop of his expensive Audi R8 pulling back into your driveway.

His voice came through louder than the banging on your front door. "Oi! (Y/n)! Come open the damn door!"

You approached the door slowly, hugging yourself. If he forgot something, couldn't he at least have the sensitivity to wait another day to come back for it?

Not yet knowing that, no, it couldn't wait. He could never forget you.

2,481 notes - Posted June 1, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

º Notes: fluff, angst, sfw

You rolled your eyes, opened your front door, and sighed. "What is it, Bakugou?"

"Wow. So we’re not even on a first name basis anymore?"

You crossed your arms and tapped your foot. “You’ve got about 5 seconds to tell me what it is you’re here for then I’m closing this door.”

Hurt flashed across his features before his game face returned. “Come on, quit acting like you don’t care anymore. I know you still love m- hey!”

You’d started to shut the door in his face, but he stopped it with the toe of his boot, his ash blond bangs obscuring his eyes. “I miss you, damn it," he grumbled. "Need to talk to you.”

You kept one hand on the open door and propped the other on your jutted hip. “Too bad, I don’t wanna talk to you anymore.”

“You don’t mean that.”

“Yes, Bakugou, I do. Now just-“ The edges of your eyes burned with the threat of tears. You fought the urge to throw yourself into his arms, which would be a hell of a lot easier if he wasn’t standing right in front of you. He smelled so good. His scent had all but worn off of your sheets and pillows. “Just go.”

“We can get through this, (Y/n). We've fought and won tougher battles than this together.”

“Stop.”

“It doesn’t have to be like this.”

“Yes, it does. I can’t do this anymore, Katsuki, please.” Your bottom lip quivered.

“Hey…” He reached for you, but you pulled away.

“No, Katsuki. I don't wanna fight with you anymore! I can’t handle-" Your voice cracked as the first tears fell. "All I’ve ever wanted to do is just love you, but it feels like that’s never been enough for you!”

“(Y/n)…” He reached for you again and this time you let him pull you into him. You really were too tired to fight with your lover anymore, and he felt like home. "It's more than enough, babe. It's the only thing I need. Always has been." He held your sobbing form in his arms.

Your weak fist landed against his hard chest. "I'm so mad at you, but I love you so fucking much and I hate you for it, Katsuki," you whined.

He pressed his lips into your hair. "That's okay, you can hate me...as long as you never stop loving me."

"I'm fucking serious!"

He pulled back to look at you. "What? You think I'm not? Hah? You're my entire fucking world, (Y/n)! If you leave my life, I swear to god I'll blow up a star and create a new world with you in it just so I can be with you again."

You sniffed. "Katsuki..."

He put his hand in your hair. "Baby, I start shit with you because I love you."

You hid your wet face against his arm and chuckled. "That doesn't even make sense."

"I know, but it's fucking true. I just don't know how else to express how passionate I am with you sometimes. I'm an idiot, alright? Ya happy now?"

"No."

The up-and-coming pro hero squeezed you tight. "When's the last time you ate? I can feel your fucking ribs."

Your voice was muffled by the material of his shirt, now damp with your tears. "Yesterday."

He kissed your forehead. "Come on, let me make you something to eat."

He felt skinnier too. "When's the last time you ate?" you said, sniffling and looking up at him with red, puffy eyes.

"Tuesday", he mumbled. Today was Thursday.

See the full post

2,996 notes - Posted May 24, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

@xviternity 👀THE DRABBLE I WROTE FOR YOU MADE MY TOP 5 FOR THE WHOLE YEAR!! 🥹🥹 i hope you're doing well and that your lungs are holding out. 💞🥹

[jentlemahae]

do you have any advice for self discipline? idk if you struggle with procrastination as well sometimes but you seem to be on top of your studies (i think in some of your tags you once mentioned that you finished all your assignments very early) i have very important exams coming up (if i fail them i'll have to repeat a whole year of school) and even though i know how important it is for me to study i just can't bring myself to even start.. i'm just paralyzed with fear bc i've already wasted so much time and it's impossible to catch up/revise everything now bc i'm running out of time. i think the sheer amount of material i have to study scares me off even more but the longer i wait the worse it gets obviously. i just hate that even though i am very aware of all this i just can't stop self sabotaging i hate myself so much 😭 another problem is that i'm such a perfectionist so if i know i can't do it perfectly i don't even bother but at this point i just need to pass bc i definitely don't want to repeat a year.. sorry this got so long and i know ultimately i just need to sit my ass down and study bc i'm the only one to blame (i had plenty of time to study these past weeks but i just rotted in my room 🙃) but you always are so sweet and insightful so i thought maybe you could give me some helpful advice? hope you have a nice day 💌

hiii! 🫶🏻 so i’ll preface this by saying that i’ve just always been used to having to do well in my studies so atp idek if it’s self discipline or more just a habit ? 🥲 but i also struggle with the same things sometimes bcs there are times where i put off studying certain things bcs im scared of failing TT so these are thing that imo help me!!

i always recommend ppl to repeat the stuff that u have to study/memorize out loud to someone bcs i think that helps u retain information, but i think that doing so by setting certain days to do so also helps in giving some organization! for instance i always repeat whatever im studying out loud to my mom (via zoom lol) and we do so by deciding to see each other on a certain day and on that day i have to repeat out loud to her a certain amount of chapters while she looks at my notes to check that im making sense. and we usually meet 2-3 times for that before my exam so first time i have to say half of the content, second time the other half, and third time i go through everything. does this make sense? and u can do it with whoever u want (parent, grandparent, friend, etc)! (tho tbh studying with a friend has never worked for me :p)

advice 2 sounds a bit odd and ik it doesn’t work for most but to me it works 🫠 when im in similar situations where i have So Much to study, first i read through all my notes* and then i take out a piece of paper and i write by hand** everything i remember. this way i see the main topics in the material and i go back to my notes and add some more important details to what ive written. this works especially well with courses where u just wanna pass and u don’t really care about the grade bcs this way u have a decent grasp on the main body of the course content! (**important to do this by hand bcs handwriting makes u retain info easier + *i always write summaries of the course content and the course progresses bcs then i know i’ll have my work cut out for me for the exam)

when u sit down to sit, put stuff that distracts u far away from where u are !! i kinda get distracted by listening to music lmao so when i study i make sure to put my headphones away from desk (lol), and then i hide my phone from my eyesight so then i can work for like an hour straight with no distractions 🤷🏻‍♀️

this is what comes to mind at the moment! anw best of luck for the exam !!! i know exams can be daunting when u are a perfectionist (😵‍💫) so i am rooting for u !!!!! 🥰💖🫂 as we say in italian, in bocca al lupo :)