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artificialqueens · 4 years

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Bet You Look Good On The Dancefloor, 3 (Branjie) (and background everyone else) - Ortega

a/n: hey fam!! we are over halfway through the rewrite so hopefully soon i can get a brand brand new chapter out to u soon, in the meantime enjoy chapter 3 all over again and see if u can spot the differences lmao?? idk but i hope u enjoy anyway!!

fic summary: Strictly Come Dancing enters its 18th series and its producers, after being goaded by a rival dance show on its inclusivity, commission it to be an all-female cast. Unlike Akeria who’s just here to bone her potential dance partner, dancer Vanessa is ready to act like a professional.

And then TV presenter Brooke Lynn walks into the rehearsal room.

***

28th September 2020

Vanessa has never been more excited in her life as she paces the rehearsal room, checks herself out for what is surely the millionth time in the mirrors and pulls a few strands of her dark hair out of her ponytail to frame her face. There’s a cameraman and a lighting person and a random producer set up in one corner too but Vanessa hardly acknowledges them, because it’s her first rehearsal with Brooke and in a moment she’s going to walk through those doors and they’ll get to start their journey together.

Saturday night had been a blur. They’d been rushed off to film their post-show reaction interview and Vanessa hardly remembers what she’d said. She supposes it couldn’t have been more incoherent than her immediate reaction. Or perhaps it had been. They’d swapped numbers excitedly, Vanessa’s heart dipping a little as Brooke insisted she couldn’t join for post-show drinks as she had to film early the next morning. With a pang of embarrassment, Vanessa remembers the text she’d sent to Brooke in the early hours of the morning as a result of Monique and Akeria’s shocking influence and way too much tequila:

V: iknow its 1am but im still so excited to be partnered wirg u and i cant wait for first rehearsal!!!!!!! x

It’s a miracle Brooke had still been up so her reply could come instantly and Vanessa didn’t have to wake up smelling of alcohol, kebab and regret the next day.

B: I’m excited too!! Have a good night, can’t wait for Monday x

It’s not like Vanessa has a crush- she’s just excited, as she keeps reminding herself, and Brooke is her first partner. It’s natural to look forward to seeing her as much as she is.

Vanessa inspects her reflection again, frowning and pulling out two more strands of hair from her ponytail to hang loose. She gives a cry of frustration as she realises she’s ruined it by pulling out way too much, so she bends over and hangs her head down between her knees to gather her hair up again.

She’s in this position when the door opens and she hears Brooke’s voice ringing into the echoey room.

“Good morning! Oh shit, am I interrupting something?“

Embarrassed, Vanessa flips her hair back and stands up straight, walking quickly over to Brooke as she dumps her gym bag at the door. “No, fuck, sorry, I was just fixing my hair! Hey!”

Brooke has her arms out ready to hug Vanessa and she accepts gladly. She smells all clean and of fabric softener. She probably uses in-wash scent boosters like an adult who has complete control of her life and more money than sense. They pull out of the hug and Vanessa fixes Brooke with a smile.

“So!” Vanessa starts, but there’s a noise from the other side of the room. One of the producers has stepped forward.

“Uh yeah, ladies, we can’t use that intro. We’re gonna have to film again.”

“How come?” Vanessa asked, realising too late that it’s because she was bent over with her hair hanging to the ground and that Brooke swore. The girls share a guilty laugh and Brooke retreats to the door. The good news is that they get to hug for a second time when they reshoot, and Vanessa gets another scent of Brooke’s detergent and the protected feeling of having the other girl’s strong arms around her.

“So, first rehearsal!” Vanessa chats cheerfully, leaning on the barre and tilting her head as she talks to Brooke. “How we feelin’?”

“Good! Excited. Ready. Positive adjectives,” Brooke says all at once, smiling at her. “How about you?”

“I’m happy. Kinda nervous, ‘cuz now I have to live up to your expectations.”

“And they are great expectations.”

Vanessa nods. “George Orwell style.”

Brooke pauses, fixing Vanessa with a funny look, then bursts out laughing. “Even Charles Dickens?”

Vanessa laughs, shrugging. “They both wrote books, I stay winning.”

She watches as Brooke doubles over clutching her stomach in hysteria, and feels a sense of pride at having made the girl laugh so much. Remembering the film crew in the corner, she smacks her hands together. “Right! For our first dance as a Strictly partnership, we are doin’ a…quickstep!”

Brooke raises her eyebrows and nods slowly. “Ballroom first, okay! I can do that. I guess I’m surprised we’re not doing Latin.”

Vanessa shrugs. “Ballroom ain’t my strong suit so I figured it’s better to get it out the way early while we got other, shittier girls we can hide behind.”

There’s a beat of silence as the two girls look at each other. They both speak at the same time. “…Farrah.”

“Reshoot!” the producer shouts over, Vanessa feeling herself roll her eyes like a teenager. Brooke snorts a laugh and Vanessa feels that little match spark up in her gut again. They reshoot, having the same conversation as before in so many words. It’s tricky remembering not to swear- Vanessa peppers fuck and shit into her daily language like she’s seasoning it, so it’s odd attempting to remove that from her vocabulary. She should probably be trying to give Brooke the impression of a mysterious and graceful woman who says gosh and darn but if she’s going to be working with her she’s going to be working with her, not a cookie-cutter picture perfect imitation.

“You wanna warm up?” Vanessa asks her, feeling a little bashful as Brooke rolls her neck slowly. She gives a small shake of her head as a long strip of her bare neck is exposed, her blonde ponytail falling over her shoulder. Vanessa feels like shaking her head herself, shaking all the thoughts that just entered her head out of it. Get a grip.

“Nah, I already did a bit before I came. We’ve got a gym at the flat, so it’s good for that kind of thing.”

Vanessa feels her eyebrows fly up her face. What kind of fancy-ass flat does she live in? “You wanna just do a bit of conditioning then? I saw you were good at it on the induction day, so you prolly don’t need to do much-”

“You had your eyes on me on induction day then?” Brooke interrupts, gives Vanessa a cheeky wink that makes her face hot. She thinks about making a jibe related to Brooke eyeing her up during squats, but she thinks it’s maybe a bit much. This is only the third time they’ve seen each other, after all. She doesn’t know why she’s acting like such a teenager.

“You wish, princess,” she sticks her tongue out. Brooke laughs and Vanessa joins her, trying not to think too much about where that princess appeared from out of nowhere.

Brooke shrugs in agreement and they do a bit of conditioning on the mats that are kept at the studio. They don’t really need to be doing too much- it’s a quickstep, it’s not exactly Cirque du Soleil- but Vanessa enjoys giving her muscles a proper stretch anyway. She doesn’t need to be the bendiest dancer in the world but she likes to feel as if her flexibility and strength are constantly improving. The film crew stay to catch some rehearsal shots but Vanessa feels as if it’s only her and Brooke in the room, their easy small-talk coming naturally as they stretch and chat over the chill R&B Vanessa’s stuck on in the background. Brooke’s been working that morning already, shooting for The Voice. They’ve moved filming to the morning so she can participate in the show. Vanessa says she hopes it’s not inconvenienced her too much and Brooke laughs and waves her apology away, saying it’s been her dream to get asked on the show ever since she rose to TV-presenter status.

Vanessa agrees, tells her about growing up watching the show with her Mom, how it inspired her when she began to compete all those years ago. She could get into other stuff, like the Summer when they couldn’t fly back to Puerto Rico because Vanessa had begged and pleaded with her Mom to spend the flight money on another term at dance school instead and it had caused a rift so huge it almost tore a hole in her family. But she doesn’t. As Vanessa reminds herself, it’s only their third meeting.

So why does she have to fight the compulsion to tell Brooke her damn life story?

Before Vanessa can blurt out any emotional moments from her upbringing (and she doesn’t exactly have a shortage of them), she slaps her thighs, stands up and rolls the mat away.

“Okay, let’s get started. Now obviously you’re good-”

“Oh, of course,” Brooke jokes. Vanessa’s heart gives a dip.

“- so I think we can maybe just start learning the full thing? If it’s too hard then we can just do some of the basics and go over lil’ techniques an’…stuff,” Vanessa clocks the cameras, changes the “shit” she was about to let out. “But the good news is we got two weeks to learn this one instead of one.”

“So there’s no excuse for it not to be perfect,” Brooke nods immediately. Vanessa freezes, taken aback. Brooke in turn looks almost as if she’s been caught out, and her face turns a little red. “Sorry. That probably seems way too keen, it’s just a fun dancing show-”

“Nah, keep that spirit. I’m a fan of that,” Vanessa smiles at her and Brooke, reassured, smiles back. The girl’s clearly a perfectionist. Vanessa adds that to her growing list of things she’s learning about her new partner. “Aight, I’m gonna show you how it’s gonna look. Lemme get my phone.”

Vanessa dashes over to her gym bag, scrambles about in it for a moment. She spent all of Sunday and stayed up all night finishing off the choreography with Crystal, who she’d also helped choreograph her first dance too, not that Crystal needed any help choreographing Latin. Or indeed ballroom. Or indeed any dance full stop. They’d brainstormed and drank gallons of water and chatted together excitedly the whole time. Being on the show with Crystal is nice because they practise their Spanish together so Vanessa doesn’t lose too much of it, and she understands what it’s like to be away from her huge extended family on days like Cinco di Mayo when the only real celebration of that in the UK is a display of Mexican party food in Tesco, and they moan together about the fact that neither of them have seen a single plantain on sale since arriving in the country. Finally finding her phone in her gym bag, Vanessa searches for the video she and Crystal took of the quickstep once it was all finished. Finding it, she plops down next to Brooke who’s sitting on the dusty floor and leaning against the mirrored wall. She hits play, holds her breath nervously and hopes Brooke will like what she’s come up with. Vanessa is relieved when a small smile grows on Brooke’s face.

“Are we actually doing it to Pon De Replay?”

“Damn right we are!” Vanessa replies proudly. She got her song request in early and the producers approved it on Sunday morning. She knows that she’s not as good at ballroom but she likes the fact that she can use songs she likes and twist the style to fit, making it more comfortable for her. The dance she’s created is clever, even if she does think so herself. First week is all about showcasing your celebrity and what they do, what kind of person they are, so Vanessa wants to give Brooke a challenge. The first half is a straightforward quickstep and the second is the same but everything mirrored and in reverse. There’s a silly bit at the start where Brooke’s going to pretend to be interviewing Vanessa to reflect her everyday career. It’s cheesy, but that’s Strictly.

The video comes to an end and Brooke is smiling from ear to ear. “Oh my God. I love it.”

“Ah! Amazing. I’m so glad,” Vanessa beams, happy and relieved all at once.

“I mean, it looks hard. But I didn’t think any of this would be easy.”

“It’ll get easier, though! Just needs practise. And remember, we’ve got two weeks!” Vanessa reminds her, standing up and shaking herself out. “So we’ve got ages. I mean. In between all the press and social media madness, obviously.”

“Obviously,” Brooke laughs, pushing herself up from the floor. “Right, come on then, teacher. What do we start with?”

Vanessa begins showing Brooke the routine, the complex and intricate little steps and hops of the quickstep taking Brooke a little bit of getting used to. But by lunchtime, they’ve gone through a little chunk of the dance already and they’ve run it without and with the music. Vanessa’s pleased with their progress and when they stop for their lunch break they’re both exhausted, sweaty, and smiling.

“You good?” Vanessa asks Brooke, who’s taking a long swig of her drink. Her eyes widen as she nods quickly.

“Yeah! Christ, it’s so tough. You’re a good teacher, though,” Brooke says, finally finishing her water. The praise makes Vanessa blush; she’s glad she’s already red from all the dancing so it doesn’t show as much.

“You’re doin’ great. Makin’ my job easy,” Vanessa smiles at her. She bites her lip before speaking again. “Hey, you wanna come have lunch with me?”

Brooke pulls a face and pouts. “Aw, that sounds amazing but I’ve got a meeting with my agent at quarter past. To make sure you’re not committing human rights violations against me or whatever.”

Vanessa snorts a laugh, tries not to look disappointed. They promise to meet back at the studio in half an hour, and Vanessa heads to the canteen where she knows some of the other girls will be having lunch too. The studios that a bunch of them have had the foresight to block-book are great and modern, and Vanessa feels bad for girls like Jan who’s having to rehearse in a draughty church hall near Jackie’s sleepy Hounslow suburb. Pushing open the double doors, she finds Phi Phi, Jaida, Monique, Crystal and Plastique already sitting at a table and eating lunch. Vanessa dashes over.

“Beep beep, hoes! Winner coming through,” she shouts over to them cheerfully, Monique laughing and rolling her eyes long-sufferingly as Jaida shakes her head at her.

“Take several seats, bitch.”

“One’s fine, thanks,” Vanessa flutters her lashes at her, causing the other girl to laugh.

“How did you even get in through the door with your head this big?” Monique scoffs, as Vanessa chucks her bag down and rakes through it for her lunch.

“Hey, you’d be crowin’ as well if you saw what my girl can do,” she points out, ignoring the way Monique’s eyebrows fly up her face at the my girl.

“It’s not about who’s got the best dancer from the start, it’s all about the potential,” Plastique shrugs at her. Vanessa gives a laugh.

“Aw, Scarlet’s got loads of that, right?” she jibes, the other girls laughing. Plastique rolls her eyes.

“We spent half an hour on a step-ball-change. Every object in the room slowly started to merge into implements with which I could kill both her and myself,” Plastique put her head in her hands. She’d ended up being partnered with the soap star and Monique, to her badly-suppressed delight, had been given singer Monet.

“At least she’s trying to work hard,” Phi Phi sighed, her face taking on a sour expression. “Willam is killing me. She keeps doing shit wrong and if I point it out she just makes a joke about it. And she keeps dashing next door to show shit to Courtney! What the hell is up with that? Courtney’s got Blair to worry about, she doesn’t need a damn goofball interrupting her rehearsal every two minutes to add to that.”

“Where is Courtney, anyway?” Vanessa asked, taking a big bite out of her chicken and rice. She knows Courtney shares their studios too and she’s notable by her absence.

Phi Phi pulls a face in response. “Let’s just say her and Blair have a lot of work to do.”

“Well, I can’t relate,” Monique smiles smugly. “Me an’ Monet have been doing amazing.”

“So’ve me and Gigi! She’s awesome,” Crystal pipes up excitedly. Vanessa swears she can see her pupils turn into little hearts as she speaks. “She’s so hardworking. We’ve done, like, half our dance already.”

“No you haven’t, stop lying,” Phi Phi nudges her under the table with her foot. Crystal rolls her eyes, resigned.

“Okay, not half, but maybe like a quarter. An eighth? A twelfth.”

The girls explode laughing and Vanessa actually has to wipe tears from her eyes. When she calms down, she asks Jaida how her rehearsals with Yvie are going so far.

“Alright, I guess. The girl’s really great, she’s got so much talent. But the bitch won’t stop filmin’ shit for her fuckin’ vlogs! I’d leap out the damn window but our room’s on the ground floor.”

Another roar flies up from the girls. It’s always funny to see how they all gel with their dance partners, and Vanessa has never got to experience it for herself until this year. She’s so happy she’s been paired with Brooke.

After the girls finish their lunch, Vanessa and Brooke continue to rehearse. The days pass like that easily with hours spent in hold, out of hold, stepping, hopping, watching Brooke tear her hands through her messy ponytail in frustration when she can’t immediately nail a particular move. Vanessa learns that Brooke’s hard on herself and, though she never snaps or yells, Vanessa knows it annoys her having to really properly work at the tricky bits. Truth be told, Vanessa gets annoyed at herself too. She curses herself whenever Brooke struggles with something, becomes convinced she should have made the dance a little easier for her. If Brooke doesn’t pick something up quickly Vanessa is irritated at her own teaching methods. She knows Brooke wants to be the best no matter how much she plays the competition off as simply a bit of fun, and she gets annoyed when it seems like she’s not doing enough to help her achieve that.

On the whole, though, Vanessa tries not to beat herself up too much. They do seem to be making really good progress in comparison to some of the other girls, and they’ve more or less learned the whole dance by the end of the first week. It bodes well for their next few weeks together, as they both know the two-week rehearsal process is a luxury that’s not going to be afforded to them for the rest of the series. Besides, next week is full of social media madness and promo filmings and they’ve got their It Takes Two interview with Cheryl on Friday. It’s going to be exhausting.

“It’s going to be exhausting,” Brooke smiles gently, contemplating the week ahead and rubbing her eyes at the end of their Saturday night rehearsal. It’s 10pm and probably far too late and Vanessa should’ve let Brooke get an early night but she got carried away polishing up little sections with her.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have kept you so late tonight,” Vanessa laments, frowning. Brooke frowns back, her face full of concern.

“Don’t apologise! I’m willing to stay as long as it takes. However long you think I need,” Brooke gives a small laugh, and Vanessa concedes and joins her laughter. The thought hits her that they’ve not shared too much on social media yet. Some of the pairs are giving round-the-clock updates as if they’re News 24 (she doesn’t think Aja and Farrah have stopped going live on Instagram since they began rehearsing but that’s what you get with a reality TV star as a partner), and Vanessa feels a bit guilty. She knows she’s got fans- it never gets any less crazy to say but it’s true- and she knows they’re as excited about her Strictly journey as she is. So she takes her phone out of her bag and waves it a little at Brooke.

“Hey. I know it’s late, but we’ve been workin’ so hard we kinda forgot about all the fun shit. Wanna take a few post-rehearsal selfies for Insta?”

She pauses as Brooke lets out a small laugh, suddenly feels embarrassed. “You know. If that’s your sorta thing.”

“I’m a TV presenter, Vanessa, I’m not the Prime Minister. I’m allowed to have fun,” Brooke laughs, struts up to stand beside her and faces the mirrored wall. “Go on then, Naomi Campbell, start the damn photoshoot.”

Vanessa laughs and her heart gives a little flutter as Brooke locks her fingers and rests them on her shoulder, leaning down and resting her head on them. She pouts and in turn Vanessa throws up a peace sign and sticks her tongue out. She takes a burst of five photos that will all look identical but she knows she’ll be able to find a tiny, minute difference in them all. Brooke leans over her phone as she scrolls through the photos, and suddenly jabs a finger against her screen.

“That one. It’s cute.”

Vanessa obeys orders and puts it on her Instagram story along with a timestamp and a little gif of a teddy bear falling asleep.

“Now do a video!” Brooke bounces on her toes all excited, and Vanessa has to laugh at how much she’s getting into the swing of things. Vanessa points the camera at them both, begins recording.

“Hey guys, Vanjie here with my girl Brooke Lynn, so it is…” she forgets the time, appeals to Brooke. “10.05? 10.06?”

“Way-too-late-o’clock,” Brooke chimes in, pokes Vanessa’s face teasingly. Vanessa rolls her eyes.

“We’ll go with that. An’ we have just finished a run of our full dance, you’re gonna love it, I can’t wait to show off this girl, y’all are not ready.”

Vanessa feels her face grow ever-so-slightly flushed as Brooke turns to her and smiles. “Aww. That’s cute, thanks! Oh, can we tell them what the song is?”

Vanessa faces her and laughs. “No way! We gotta wait til Monday, that’s when they all get released.”

“Please?” Brooke actually pouts. It’s too adorable and her face is so close to Vanessa’s in her attempt to fit into frame that Vanessa could totally lean forward and give her the tiniest little kiss if she wanted.

She doesn’t want to. Why the fuck did that thought just appear in her head?

“No! They’ll find out on Monday. And the dance too! No special treatment.”

“Ugh. I’m so telling my agent, this is definitely illegal. Should’ve stayed on the damn One Show.”

Vanessa bursts out laughing at Brooke’s joke, shakes her head at the camera. “I have to work with this diva. Jeez. Well, see you guys later!”

“Yeah, see you all later! If she hasn’t murdered me by then.”

“If I haven’t murdered her by then. Bye, love ya!” Vanessa signs off and stops recording, posts the video to her story as Brooke laughs. “You’re a natural at all this social media shit. Right, go get some rest. See you Monday, girl.”

“See you Monday,” Brooke smiles. Vanessa doesn’t miss the way she sort of hovers, lingering with the smile still on her face before looking to the floor and then leaving the room. Vanessa wonders what she was thinking. It couldn’t have been that important.

Before Vanessa begins to pack up she checks Instagram to see the reaction to the stuff she’s just dropped. There’s a few replies- she always gets them on her stories from fans and she tries to reply to most of them. One in particular catches her eye- a reply to the video which is peppered with heart-eye emojis and simply reads:

OHMYGOSH!!!!! You guys are SO cute together!!!

Vanessa doesn’t realise how long she’s been smiling until she’s left the studio and walking to the tube.

They both have a day off on Sunday- they all do. It’s been a long first week and they’ve all earned it. Vanessa has an ice bath because she’s forgotten how intense it is to be rehearsing all day every day with just one other person. It reminds her of the show she did that Summer with-

Well. It doesn’t matter now.

What matters now is Brooke, and Vanessa spends most of the daytime on Sunday sitting on the small sofa that’s squashed under the ceiling beam in her tiny narrow flat, curled up under a blanket and trying to figure out how to text her. She wants to make that connection with her partner, she wants her and Brooke to be close friends and to be able to go for lunch and talk about anything together and have their own little jokes and stuff like that. Lots of the dancers have that kind of connection with their girls already- Crystal and Gigi are averaging around two silly selfies a day on social media, Vanessa can hear Monique and Monet’s laughter ricocheting off the walls and down the stairs from their rehearsal room, and there is already some are-they-aren’t-they media speculation in the form of Jan and Jackie, who were papped going to get bagels in a break between rehearsals with their pinkies interlocked and small smiles on their faces. Vanessa’s not jealous of them, whatever it is they have. She’d asked Crystal about them, because she’s closer with Jan, and Crystal had laughed it off and said they’re just friends and they’re getting on very well. Vanessa has reason to doubt her, mind you. She knows chemistry when she sees it.

Vanessa finally decides to shoot Brooke a message at around six at night. She’s making a cheat meal of mac and cheese with a bunch of chorizo through it, because she damn well deserves a carb and some dairy and some oily meat. It’s when she realises that she’s made enough for a small village that she takes her phone out, messages Brooke before she can overthink it.

V: i’ve just made way too much mac and cheese, u wanna have a rehearsal room floor picnic tomorrow? x

The moment it’s sent she regrets how outrageously fucking pathetic she sounds. That is until she gets a reply around two minutes later, one that makes her face hurt with a smile.

B: No chance you’re offloading your failed masterchef attempts onto me. How do I know it’s edible? x

Her reply is flirtatious. Vanessa tries to explain it away but she can’t, so she positions her phone in front of the huge earthenware tray she’s just taken out of the oven, the breadcrumbs giving a satisfying crackle as she sticks a serving spoon into it and takes a boomerang of the strings of cheese and billows of steam that emerge as she pulls the spoon out and a golden slice of the baked pasta with it. She sends it off to Brooke without any written reply and for a moment she forgets about any potential response as hunger overtakes her. She grabs a white bowl with a small crack down its side and piles the pasta high into it, sitting back on the couch and pulling the purple blanket over her knees as she scans the channels for something to keep her company as she eats. She settles on a rerun of some 90s gameshow and as it eventually finishes, so does her dinner. It’s only then that Vanessa remembers her phone, and as she dashes back across to the kitchen counter her heart gives a giant thump of joy as she sees four messages from Brooke.

B: Omg I take it all back, I will never doubt your cooking skills again x

B: Is that chorizo???????? I’m so hungry x

B: Are you mad at me because I said it wouldn’t be edible?? I’m sorry!!!!!! x

B: Please bring some for lunch tomorrow! I’ll get us a dessert, call it an apology x

Vanessa looks at the little “x” after each one. She’s blushing before she even knows it and it’s almost like Brooke has planted real little kisses on both her cheeks.

V: i’d say it’s a date but i’m not gonna give u the satisfaction x

A reply from Brooke doesn’t come but somehow it doesn’t bother her.

They have their picnic on the floor of the rehearsal room the next day, just as had been promised. Brooke makes ridiculous noises as she takes her first bite of the mac and cheese and Vanessa pokes fun at her for buying the cakes and not baking them (but Galaxy cake bars are delicious, so she doesn’t complain too much). They make a silly video for Instagram- “Hey guys! We’ve stopped for lunch and I brought a picnic!” “Hey, I made cakes!” “Bought cakes. Bought.” - and they’re almost too full to practise afterwards but they do, until late into the night, and the day after that and the day after that. They squeeze in their photoshoot for the title sequence and an interview for the Radio Times and the days pass in a busy blur. Vanessa’s smile grows wider with each rehearsal as they become better and better at the dance and on Thursday night they run it through with no mistakes at all, Vanessa so happy that she jumps into Brooke’ arms and squeals with delight and Brooke squeezes her tight and does the same. Before they know it it’s Friday, they’re the last It Takes Two interview of the week, and the first show is a little over twenty-four hours away.

“You nervous?” Vanessa whispers to Brooke as they watch Cheryl interviewing one of the past contestants they’ve invited on to give their insight. The sister show of Strictly isn’t watched by a huge number of people but it is watched by the hardcore fans, and Vanessa is anxious to make a good impression.

“A little. I’m used to conducting the interviews, not giving them,” Brooke frowns a bit, sweeps her blonde hair over her shoulder. She turned up to the studios in a smart blue suit and orange heels and Vanessa is amazed that she hasn’t dissolved into liquid form under Brooke’s gaze.

Brooke is so beautiful, and Vanessa wonders if she’ll ever stop thinking that to herself.

Vanessa drops a shy hand to her side and takes Brooke’s, lacing their fingers together and giving them a squeeze. They hold hands and press their bodies together and look into each other’s eyes all the time as part of the dance so it’s not weird, it’s almost routine. When Brooke smiles at her, reassured and at ease, Vanessa relaxes by at least ninety percent.

They’re soon called out while a pre-recorded VT of their rehearsal footage plays and they whisper an excited hey to Cheryl in all her fake-tanned, white-toothed glory, the very vision of an Essex girl-turned-professional. Vanessa’s been interviewed by Cheryl before, last year when she was on the bench and all she had to do were some silly challenges and goof around with the other pros. This is different.

Vanessa takes a quick breath in and holds it while she smiles maniacally at the camera and Cheryl does their introduction. “Alright, now, joining us for the last interview of the week- it’s Brooke and Vanessa!”

A cheer goes up from the production crew as they both wave to the camera, and it makes Vanessa’s smile turn more goofy than she’d intended it to be. She leans into Brooke’s side as she laughs and she notices that Brooke’s got an arm resting on the headboard on the sofa behind her.

“Now, Brooke, you’ve had a fortnight of rehearsals and had to work around your busy taping schedule- what’s that been like?” Cheryl asks, leaning forward with interest. Vanessa has always liked Cheryl, mainly because an interview with her feels like a chat with an old friend and she always genuinely seems interested in what someone has to say.

“Ugh, you know what? It’s been amazing,” Brooke smiles, and Vanessa’s heart lights up in affirmation. She turns to look at Brooke and she’s already smiling at her. “Obviously it’s been tiring at times, I think I’ve had a combined total of about 10 hours of sleep this week-”

Vanessa snorts, laughs at how dramatic Brooke’s being.

“-but I wouldn’t change it. I’ve learned so much, and V’s such a good teacher. I really struck it lucky with her.”

The production team let out an “aww”, and Vanessa tries to bite back a grin and fails. Brooke’s arm goes from the headboard to rest around her shoulders and Vanessa is scared to move in case she scares her away like a butterfly.

“Now speaking of- Vanessa,” Cheryl’s face breaks into a smile as she turns to her, and Vanessa’s stomach flutters a little with nerves. “You obviously felt you struck it lucky with Brooke too, let’s remind everyone of your reaction to getting paired with her.”

Vanessa lets out a wail of protest and buries her face in her hands as the clip of their pairing is played, and she can hear Brooke creasing with laughter beside her. Her embarrassment is rewarded with Brooke squeezing her shoulder in reassurance, and Vanessa supposes it’s sort of worth it. The clip comes to an end and, as Vanessa takes her hands away from her face, she knows she’s blushing hard.

“Now, you were…I think you were a bit happy?” Cheryl teases sarcastically. Vanessa playfully glares at her, and Brooke squeezes her shoulder again. “Are you still as overjoyed with having Brooke as a partner now you’ve started to rehearse with her?”

“Aw, I’m still as happy as I was on launch night. Honestly,” Vanessa smiles at Cheryl, turns and smiles at Brooke too because she can’t help it. “She just makes it so easy because- she doesn’t stop smiling, so rehearsals are fun, and she is just the hardest-working girl…that even a word? Hardest-working…most hardworking..I don’t know, but she’s it, you know?”

Her praise is rewarded by Brooke dropping her hand down to her waist, and Vanessa’s heart gives a judder. It’s not like she’s not used to Brooke’s hands on her, but the context is different, and it throws her off ever so slightly in the best possible way.

“I think what’s nice is- I’ve wanted to be on this show for so long and it’s V’s first year with a partner, so we’re kind of doing this whole journey together, and it’s special,” Brooke smiles, and Vanessa nods in agreement, as if the movement of her head will stop the blood rushing to her cheeks in a blush.

“It is nice! Because I suppose, Brooke, you ain’t gotta compare yourself to anyone because there’s not been any partners before you,” Cheryl adds with a shrug. Vanessa smiles at her words and nods, turns to Brooke as she speaks.

“Yeah. You’re my favourite.”

Brooke’s eyes have a twinkle in them as she smiles back at her. “Aw, thanks.”

The interaction is so quick that Cheryl’s already on to her next question before she can pick up on it. “Now, Vanessa, you chose a quickstep for week one, why was that?”

Vanessa sighs a little as she thinks about it. She doesn’t want to come across too cocky, come out with because my girl’s the best and I knew she could do it in her sleep with her eyes shut, so she instead tries to come across as humble as she can. “I think because- it’s a fast dance, and it’s good to go right in at the deep end on your first week. I can see Brooke Lynn’s potential, and I know what she’s capable of, so we just sort of went for it and she’s coped so well. She’s thrived.”

“Not survived, but thrived! I love it!,” Cheryl laughs along with her. “Now, this pairing, I have heard…through the grapevine…this is a bit of a linguistically challenged pairing, am I right?”

Vanessa blinks at her. “What’s that even mean?”

Brooke howls with laughter beside her and Cheryl does the same opposite, and Vanessa pouts. She doesn’t like to look dumb, and the wounded part of her wants to remind them both that she’s the only one out of the three of them that speaks more than one language, but she lets it drop when Brooke explains it to her softly. “Like…words and stuff.”

“Oh right! Yeah, so Brooke’s got lil words for all the steps we’re doin’.”

“It just helps me remember the timing!” Brooke laughs, her turn to feel embarrassed as she covers her face with her hands.

“Yeah, so we go, like…step, hop, beans-on-toast!” Vanessa explains. Cheryl’s looking at Brooke as if she has two heads.

“What is beans on toast?!” she exclaims. Brooke shakes her head, gives Vanessa a look of admonishment.

“It’s just a little phrase, and it goes with the timing of the steps of the dance, and it helps me remember them…I won’t do it on the night, you won’t hear me say it!” Brooke laughs. She’s got the slightest hint of a blush hitting her cheeks, and part of Vanessa feels warm with the fact that the stage lights are too bright to pick up on it and it’s like a secret only she knows.

“Well, Vanessa, there’s also a revelation I’ve heard today that I’m a little bit shocked by…” Cheryl begins, and Vanessa feels nervous, as if Cheryl’s about to rip the butterflies out of her stomach and show them to Brooke as some sort of proof of any embarrassing little feelings she’s got for her. “…you’re a Strictly pro that can’t actually say the name of one of the dance moves?”

“Oh my God,” Vanessa lets out a groan. She knows instantly what Cheryl is referring to, and Brooke’s hand is wrenched from its position on her waist as she claps her hands with mirth.

“Can you say it now?” Brooke teases, and Vanessa rolls her eyes at her.

“Girl, you know I can’t!” she whines, prepares herself to try and say the offending word. “Sash-ay?”

“No!” Brooke laughs, the twinkle in her eye almost blinding.

“Sash-ay?” Vanessa hears herself, and shakes her head. “No, wait, I already said it like that.”

“It’s not like a sachet of sauce,” Cheryl supplies unhelpfully. Vanessa raises her eyebrows at her. She tries again.

“Chassé,” she finally comes out with, and a roar of satisfaction erupts from the crew behind the cameras. She laughs as she protests her lack of pronunciation. “Leave me alone, I got two languages to try an’ speak in!”

“And you can’t say chassé in either of them,” Brooke teases, sticking her tongue out at her. Vanessa finds it hard to rip her eyes away from her partner as Cheryl speaks again.

“Well, you two, you’ve been a joy to have with us today, good luck for Saturday night-”

“Thank you!”

“- Brooke and Vanessa, everybody!”

A cheer goes up from the crew, and Vanessa can’t help but giggle at the silliness that was the end of their interview. As Cheryl introduces another section of the show, Vanessa feels Brooke slip her hand into her own, squeezing it once. Vanessa squeezes back, and Brooke meets her eyes in a calm smile. It’s Friday evening, they’re off to rehearse as soon as this is over, and then it will be Saturday and their first live show as a couple. Vanessa is the best kind of nervous, and she finds herself shutting her eyes for a second as if to check she’s not dreaming.

Another squeeze of her hand from Brooke Lynn brings her back to earth with a bump, but she doesn’t mind.

#rpdr fanfiction #bet you look good on the dancefloor #ortega #strictly au #lesbian au #branjie #vanessa vanjie mateo #brooke lynn hytes #monique heart #jaida essence hall #crystal methyd #phi phi o'hara #plastique tiara #cheryl hole #background jankie #background momo #background crygi

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gilgaemsh-a · 5 years

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IM FINALLY ABLE TO MAKE MY BNHA OCS AHHHH!!!!! part one at least lmao i’m gunna make a part 2 reallllllllly soon

the style of this picrew is similar to bnha style so it’s better for me to think up my ocs (at least the girls) this way!! (i’m very picky orz)

also i’m always up for rping if anyone is interested!!!!! dm me dude!!!!!!!!!!!!

also also! quirks aren’t like final versions?? im still tryna figure out how to make quirks more... quirk-like lol.

intros under the cut!!

@bnhappreciation @bnha-oc-collection

ankou fuwara (#1 & #2)

the ever blooming hero: chloris

ankou is my most loved oc and the by far the hardest to make for some reason. her and her quirk went through so many changes its insane but i finally settled on something perfect.

she’s currently an active hero having just graduated from u.a. she’s extremely popular and currently number 12 on the hero billboard (shes 19 btw)

ankou quirk is overgrowth aka chlorokinesis - the manipulation of plant life and pheromone generation. (she can do a lot with her quirk so shes my second most op character)

her range is pretty much the same as pixie bob’s earth flow.

ankou was actually a child star, a very popular actress/model. she quit when she graduated to focus on her hero career which is one of the reasons why she’s so popular.

when ankou was in school to was the top u.a. student along with two others (they’re boys so i wasnt able to make them but one day i will)

ankou quirk is actually a combo of her parents her mother has minimal manipulation over plants and her father could manipulate his pheromones

ankou is the older sister type. she’s super kind and caring and protective of people close to her.

she unofficially adopts izuku when she meets him

she also (surprisingly) has a good relationship with bakugou. she treats him like a younger brother and teases him a lot.

ankou is also the type to be really scary when angry

ankou had a really hard time making friends growing up because she couldn’t control her pheromones properly

alot of the times her classmates or even random people would fall in love with her just by her scent or other times end up being despised by it

both of ankou’s parents actually come from hero families. they grew up together since their families knew each other & they were both the youngest. neither of them wanted to be heroes.

ankou’s mother (ririka) is a pharmacist for one of the top hospitals in japan while her father (aizen) is an a-list actor.

side note! ankou’s father aizen took ririka’s last name.

i hardcore ship ankou and tomura. it literally started by me just thinking “oh hey lmao ankou has a life quirk and tomura has a death quirk! wait-”

so now their my otp.

oh btw the first pic is how ankou looks currently, the other is her older.

kurena kan (#3)

the healing heroine: nightingale

my child. my baby. she’s never done a single thing wrong in her entire life.

kurena is a mixed baby, half japanese & half american

she grew up with her father sekijiro kan in japan, her mother, charity brown is currently deceased.

her quirk is miracle blood - the ability to heal others and herself using her own blood. she can manipulate her blood as well. kurena has high regenerative properties as well! as long as her blood is flowing she can heal herself extremely fast.

as you know vlad king (her father) is able to manipulate blood but kurena’s mother was able to heal people with her quirk (empathic healing) which resulted in kurena’s quirk.

kurena is currently a first year at u.a. in izuku’s class.

she’s the tomboy type, tends to get into a lot of fights though she’s actually really mellow and cool.

she’s also the type that if she were to dress as a boy, she’d make a really hot one. (though as a girl she’s super hot too)

she’s recovery girl’s apprentice and helps out alot in the infirmary of the school

deku spends a lot less time there since kurena can heal him lol

i ship kurena with todoroki and bakugou. my beloved ot3

all three of them are p competitive with each other (don’t worry it’s all healthy competition)

kurena’s mother came to japan to further to abilities and apprentice under recovery girl which is how her and sekijiro met

she died helping recovery girl heal all might as a backlash of her quirk

kurena’s mother is full blown italian! and partially named kurena because it sounds like carina which means beloved

in japanese kurena the kanji for her name is crimson

oh!! aizawa is kurena’s godfather on her mother’s side! the two are very close

charity and aizawa were best friends before she died

miwa midoriya* (#4)

all in one heroine: alter ego

oof my most op oc you can fight me im not changing her.

miwa is actually the daughter of two high profile villains

she’s actually an “experiment”, the two villains had been working on a way to merge their quirks in the perfect way to make a strong villain - miwa was their current project until she escaped them

miwa doesn’t know how many others came before her or what happened to them when she asked she was told her ‘siblings’ were disposed of.

miwa’s quirk is gunna be the hardest to explain lol the short version is: miwa’s body can mimic and control different elements.

like... full on mimics elements. yknow like and elemental spirit? how it’s just a being made of fire or water or air etc etc? that’s miwa.

i’m actually on the fence about making the elements miwa shifts into to be alters (like she suffers from dissociative personality disorder.) so basically every time she shifts into a different element that element has its own personality? tho maybe it doesn’t even need to be DID it could just be the way her quirk works? SOMEONE GIVE ME INPUT PLS

her mother is a shapeshifter while her father could control elements

miwa was rescued by izuku’s father and then later adopted by him when it was quickly realized she didn’t want anyone else

she grew up with izuku and bakugou. her a bakugou are actually quite close since she’s the first person to beat him in stuff. he likes how strong she is.

miwa is also a pacifist! she had no interest in being a hero (it sounded like more trouble then it was worth) but when bakugou and izuku applied for u.a. she didn’t want to be left alone so she applied.

miwa is a soft bean. she hates violence but is willing to ATTACK when her loved ones are in danger

she’s also in the constant fear that her parents are watching her every move. she feels as if her parents gave her up to easy or staged the hero rescue for a reason. she’s constantly paranoid lol

miwa is classified as “looks like a cinnamon roll; can kill you”

nagi the tempest (#5)

real name: aoka arashi

currently my only villain but don’t worry i plan on making more!

nagi is the only daughter of as prostigious hero family.

the arashi family was known for its variety of powerful weather related quirks and continued to plan marriages based on quirks

the arashi family was also very abusive in its training and pushed nagi through limits she still has nightmares about; the training was due to how volatile nagi’s quirk is. which she was often blamed for

one day nagi snapped and destroyed the arashi family home along with everyone inside she was on the run for awhile before dabi found her

at that point i guess he was already apart of the league of villains? i’m not sure when dabi joined tho so this is just me guessing

nagi’s quirk is storm - nagi is able to create storms and manipulate them! it’s an extremely violate quirk that almost got her killed when she first manifested it. it’s the reason her training was so grueling. nagi needs moisture in order for her quirk to work

and while thunderstorms are something she can make she can’t actually control the lightning; not because it’s not apart of her quirk but because lighting is tricky to control in itself

she wields a katana that acts as a conduit for the lightning

when nagi does try to control the lightning more often than not it backlashes onto herself creating wounds/scars on her body in the shape of lightning bolts

dabi thinks they’re really pretty

nagi is the silent type. she very rarely talks and no one in the league of villains has ever heard the sound of her voice

dabi brags about being the only person nagi talks too

the name nagi was given to her by dabi it means the calm before the storm

though dabi gave her the nickname he often calls her aoka when they’re alone

despite her blonde hair and blue eyes nagi is 100% japanese!

her and dabi are hardly ever seen apart and if you haven’t guessed it i ship them lol

hinata enma (#6)

the beguiling heroine: enchanter

my trans baby girl!!!!!!!!

a 5th generation geisha currently a maiko of course

her quirk is heartbreaker - a succubus quirk! besides her supernatural beauty and over all supernatural condition (strength, speed all that good stuff) hinata’s real quirk is her voice; her voice has the power to control others and even alter reality.

you know allison hargreeves from the umbrella academy? that’s hinata

i’m still not sure how i want hinata to be able to trigger that power like how allison as to say “i heard a rumor” to use her power?? idk what i want hina to say

a hinoenma is a japanese yokai extremely similar to succubi which is where i got hina’s name

as i mentioned, hina is a geisha! not a prostitue

growing up hina was taught art, dancing and singing she excels at all three uwu

hina’s mother, yuuhi, is close friends with masaru bakugou. masaru usually goes to her for help with traditional japanese fashion

because of this bakugou and hina grew up together

the two are best friends even though they go to separate schools katsuki is the only one hina doesn’t use her power on

katsuki is also the one to encourage hina to become a hero though the two don’t go to u.a together instead hina attends shiketsu high

the two of them video call each other daily

hina is very mischievous!! she likes playing harmless pranks and teasing others

when she was in elementary and middle school she was often picked on for her quirk being a ‘villain’ quirk

she’s never used her quirk in malicious ways

the most malicious way she’d use is to help play a prank

she trains with bakugou when she can

#bnha #bnha oc #mha #mha oc #boku no hero oc #boku no hero academia #my hero academy oc #my hero academia #my hero academia oc #mine #my ocs #ocs

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ecoamerica · 1 month

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youtube

Watch the 2024 American Climate Leadership Awards for High School Students now: https://youtu.be/5C-bb9PoRLc

The recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by student climate leaders! Join Aishah-Nyeta Brown & Jerome Foster II and be inspired by student climate leaders as we recognize the High School Student finalists. Watch now to find out which student received the $25,000 grand prize and top recognition!

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hearts-upon-our-sleeves · 5 years

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Astraphobia - Part Three

Title: Astraphobia

Pairing: Mob!Tom Holland x Gardener!Reader with Astraphobia

Word Count: 1.6k

Warnings: Cursing, mentions of sexual acts, illegal activities, murder, alcohol, panic attacks. Death of a close relative.

Summary: Astraphobia, also known as astrapophobia, brontophobia, keraunophobia, or tonitrophobia is an abnormal fear of thunder and lightning, a type of specific phobia. It is a treatable phobia that both humans and animals can develop. -Wikipedia

Chapter Summary: Tom joins you in helping with the garden, and you tell him everything.

A/N: yo, uh heres part 3 ig idk im tired um send asks for little blurbs of this story and ill do them or anything really!

Series Masterlist

“Love you gotta tell me what happened.” Tom whispered loud enough for you to hear, but you didn’t need to tell him a thing, because at that instant the storm continued and the loudest strike rolled through and Tom knew when you screamed in horror. So he held you close and whispered sweet things in your ear to keep your mind off the monster outside, and for once you felt at home during a storm, right in Tom’s arms.

As the memory floods through your head you are filled with overwhelming guilt, you shouldn’t have felt that way and you shouldn’t have called him. But you did and now he probably thinks you are weak and maybe now he can blackmail you out of your store. A small smile spread on your lips at the feeling of his arms wrapped around you.

Your daily routine consisted of your bathroom needs, eyeliner, a granola bar, and an hour drive to your shop. You were almost done with your granola bar when your cell had rang. You picked it up and bit your lip reading the name. Tom Holland. You weren’t ready. There was no way you’d be ready ever, so you ripped the band-aid off and hit the green button.

“Hello?” You answered as you leaned against your island counter.

“Hey Love, listen i’d like to talk with you today.” His voice was smooth and low and all you wanted was to hear more. You had no clue why you avoided him since the storm but you just couldn’t handle it.

“Um, I can’t today or any other day.” You called out.

“Want to tell me why, pretty girl?” You could hear the smirk in his voice with the nickname.

“I’m only friends with members of my garden and currently I’m off to meet with them today.” You thought of the best excuse you could and stuck with it.

“Well then Love, sign me up.” Out of all the responses Tom could have said, he said that and you weren’t amused.

“The garden is open to everyone, but on Wednesdays is for more experienced gardeners Tom. Unless you want to help us life heavy bags of soil, and donate the produce to the shelters around town, you can’t come.” You sighed already knowing what you had gotten yourself into.

“I’m always ready to help pretty girls such as yourself. How about I pick you up?” You groaned as your roommate walked downstairs, she met your eyes and all you had do do was show her your call screen and she understood. You and Mia had been friends since you were both in diapers, and she knew about whatever was going on between you and Tom. She smiled at you as she went past you to the kitchen.

“You know what Tom? How about you meet me at my shop and I take you to the garden, I’m sure whatever you drive would scare some of the girls.”

“Girls? Are they as cute as you?” Tom perked up instantly, and you rolled your eyes thinking of how the ladies would love him.

“Even cuter. See you Tom.” You hung up the phone and stuffed it in your back pocket.

“Let me guess, Tom called and wanted to talk, stop me when I’m wrong, you gave a sorry excuse. I don’t know maybe something along the lines of ‘I only talk to members of the garden.’ He then offered to join and you couldn’t say no, and now we’re going to meet him.” Mia placed a hand on her hip as you nodded along to every word. You groaned as she laughed, Mia was always right, but there was one thing that she predicted but would never be right about. You and Tom. Since the day you two met and you told her she had claimed it would be a perfect match. But she was wrong, she had to be.

When you and Mia arrived at the shop, Tom was already there. He stood leaned against a black sleek car, dark jeans clung to his legs and a black shirt showed off his arms. He looked hot, he always did, but today something just clicked with him, it was definitely his arms. Mia turned the car off and rolled her eyes at you, “pitiful,” she said as she exited the car, you following. The second you locked eyes with Tom you knew today was not going to be fun.

“Morning Love, you look beautiful today.” Tom pushed himself off the car, walking over with eyes on you.

“Can it Holland, let’s just get today started.” You groaned as he smirked. “I’m driving.” Mia gave you the keys and introduced herself to Tom and so fourth. Mia sat up front in the passenger side as Tom took a seat in the back of your little yellow car. It definitely wasn’t Tom’s style but he still go it, if it meant he could finally get a moment alone with you.

The entire car ride was filled with Mia and Tom talking, more specifically Mia telling Tom stories of the two of you. You had been growing more and more annoyed by the minute and if you weren’t five minutes away from the garden you would have killed them both.

“Love, I can’t believe you tripped over a fire hydrant and broke your wrist.” Tom laughed a bit with Mia as she finished the story of how you got distracted by your ex-crush walking by in high school.

You finally arrived at the garden. It was a big plot of land, surrounded by woods, it truthfully looked like a wonderland, filled with crops and beautiful flowers. As soon as you got out of the car your eyes lit up at the beautiful sight. Tom noticed and the say he was whipped was an understatement. That boy had gone from angry mobster to a lovesick puppy when he saw that sparkle in your eye and all he hoped in life was that one day you’d look at him that way. Mia noticed everything and when she passed Tom she nudged him playfully and all he shot back was a look that said ‘if you even think of saying something i’ll push you in the rose bush.’

---

To say you put Tom to work was an understatement. He had helped everyone, any carrying a lady needed done, it was instantly handled. He had honestly been a great guy today, there were so many different sides to him, today you saw the way he helped old ladies, not the flirty Tom, or the Tom that would end a man's life. You saw Tom. You were currently standing in the shade away from everyone when and when he saw you, he walked over.

“Can I finally have my chance to talk to you?” Tom stood next to you and all you could do was smile and look over to him. You nodded slightly and Tom melted at the sight. “Love, I need you to tell me what happened that night. I want to help you if it ever happens again.” You sighed, you knew it was what he wanted to talk about and you really didn’t want to give an answer, but you grabbed his hand and walked him away from the sight of people.

“Ok, hear me out.” Tom nodded and you could see the faintest of blushes as you noticed you two still held hands. You didn’t let go, you would need it. “Well it started when I was a kid, I guess. I used to love storms, it got me out of having to water my plants.” You smiled and Tom lead you to sit on the cool grass with him.

“It all went wrong when I was 14 though, my grandma and I had been coming home from the gardens, it was late and dark. Tom it was so dark that night. A storm had rolled through and we didn’t know it was going to be a bad one, so bad that they shut the town down for the night. It was a long road, and someone hit us. It flipped the entire car and it-” You had no clue at this point you were sobbing into Tom’s chest clutching it for dear life as he rubbed your back. “-it killed my grandmother and I was left in the cold dark rain and I just remember seeing the biggest bolt of lightning strike down and it was so loud that my ears rang for hours afterwards. And I just- Tom since that day I can’t sit through a storm without doing what I did that night. Mia helps me when I’m home but at the shop I just didn’t have anyone, I didn’t even know there was a storm coming. I’m so sorry I made you do that.” At that moment Tom’s heart broke.

“Don’t you dare say that Love, I promise you that any time you need me, I will be there. You can’t get rid of me that easily.” Tom smiled down and you and for the first time in a long time you felt loved.

#tom holland #tom holland mob au #tom holland imagine #tom holland x reader #gardener au #gardens #flower shop au #peter parker #peter parker x reader #peter parker imagine #self insert #fanfic #fanfiction #fiction #series #harrison osterfield #tom and harrison

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hyunarkarchive · 5 years

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oh my stress;;

“'tis i, a writer, togetherslapper of words.”

knowing that my own five year anniversary at rookies is in about two months makes me actually really emotional, and most of you know, i don’t really get emotional about stuff like this.

i’m here to talk about all the fucking shit storms i brought. starting from good ol’ ellyrk, who turned into yuriirk and currently known as hyunark, as well as, rkxwoozi, aka jihoonrk, fucking namtaerk, eunwoork, minhyunrk, younghyunrk 1.0, junhoerk aka younghyunrk 2.0. i am about 100% sure i’m missing someone BUT YOU KNOW, we can let that muse stay in dungeon vile.

not even 10 minutes later

oh yeah- minhork was it? minhxrk??? idk what his url was, shortlived lovely muse i tell you. jisungrk was a thing for like 6 months. however, as you can see, i have a lot of muses, 11 in total, well 8 if you remove younghyun 1.0 & 2.0 and jihoon.

its been nearly five years since i joined rookies and ive made a lot of memories here. good, bad, amazing, mediocre. a lot of memories than pretty much just range. can you believe i’ve actually cried a few times about rookies related thing? yeah, me neither, but here we are hahaha. i will probably not edit this at all, so if you see spelling mistakes, or maybe something is repeated, just ignore it please, its from the heart.

this place really helped me develop my writing, vocabulary and definitely social skills. i might suck at threading and replying on time, but i have to say, all the muns here are amazing!!! i remember when i first joined, oh boy was i fucking terrified of the fact that i SUCKED at writing. i was so cautious about what i write and how i spoke and i think some of you could remember it haha. i’ve also managed to make some amazing friends throughout my stay here, all of them older than me, as well haha and i was babied so much i always found it funny, but very thankful because some of the life lectures i got where definitely needed.

however, i will take a few minutes to write about the last three standing; hyunark, jihoonrk and younhhyunrk

hyunark:

my first ever tumblr muse. my first rookies muse. my longest standing muse. she;s gone through a lot, and honestly, she will continue to do; i wasn’t all that good with her in the beginning, now i see a lot of gaps and weird stuff whenever i have to go read something to remind myself of events and so on. however, i really love her, and i’ve gotten a bit too attached to her haha. can you blame me tho? from ellyrk, to yuriirk, now hyunark, there have been alot of ups and downs but i am happy where she’s come. to being a potential walking scandal, to being in two survival shows, to being the first muse at rookies to not be offered a contract renewal, to another survival show, to a nova trainee after being cut short twice by hyunbin. she had gone through alot of character development and its shaped her a lot better than i ever could, for which i need to say my thanks to the mods of rookies for it, because without them, hyunark would probably be headed in a completely different direction haha. however, she still focuses on producing, writing lyrics and ever since she got into nova as a trainee, she’s focused on her dance as well because she doesn’t wanna be called an uncooked noodle anymore. her dream is to be a recognized producer and lyricist, and will fight for that title.

jihoonrk:

jihoork was previously known as rkxwoozi. i even used his original blog when i re-applied with him;; he lasted a bit under a year in all honesty the first time and i specifically remember that the reason for that was being signed under trc. it was a pretty unfortunate time for him to be signed, with all the scandals that happened and what not. i was a tad regretful that i dropped him to be honest, which is all the reason to why he was brought back. tbh, he didn’t change in that like 6 months gap he was away. he was the same moody gremlin everyone knew and loved. if you had asked me, a few years ago if i thought jihoon would debut, i’d laugh and say no fucking way, but here we are, when he is a member of convex and got to debut with his longets lasting friend, sehun and best friend seungcheol. so he is living the dream you know? even if he doesn’t show it, he is grateful and appreciates everything that’s happening around him and to him. his main goal right now is to be the variety ace of convex and is working slowly to achieve that goal.

yonghyunrk:

ahhh here we go;; my last muse who had to undergo something similar to jihoonrk;; i brought him in, because i had this idea of a metal head, who really just wanted fame and girl and guys. however, stuff happened, i couldn’t get him to have threads i wanted and so i dropped him. again, i pretty much reapplied a few months later with junhoerk which was basically younghyunrk 2.0 and eventually, i realized that the muse deserved its original fc and here we are again with younghyunrk. to be honest, i don’t even know how i managed to get him to go to mga4, but he went and caused chaos with chungha and we all know how much fun he actually had haha;; he still doesn’t like dance, and will probably not enjoy it until he gets signed and coach tells him he can’t dance and JUST out of spite, he will get better at it. ultimately, he wishes to debut on a band, he wouldn’t really mind if he gets placed at any instrument, as long as he gets to sing. he still wants to reach paradise city, as guns ‘n roses have said.

quick mentions to some of my other muses as well. its funny how all my other muses lasted for months as well;; honorary mentions will go to namtaerk, minhxrk and probably minhyunrk, i won’t be really talking about them, so focusing on eunwoork and jisungrk;

i can without a doubt say that these are my more interesting muses, or eunwoo at least. her dream was to become a musical actress and was a serial dater; she’d date a lot of people, girls and boys, and wouldn’t really bat an eyelash once it was all over. never really had long term relationships either. she was into photography and her photography instagram was more popular than her personal one and she didn’t mind haha.

jisungrk wanted to be a professional football player and he was never really interested in becoming an idol, which made him fun to play. however, he was a really young muse, i think i made him 16? yeah, i think he was 16 and after that i realized i can’t do young muses;; its just weird for me, i have no clue what middle school kids actually do haha, i remember i just slept and did nothing all day, didn’t even study whoops.

but yeah, these two muses were very short lived but fun and i think that one day, if rkforthmuse is allowed, i highly doubt it, i will bring back eunwoork because she deserved more attention than i ever gave her.

now i will do a few mentions, by a few i mean it will be a lot;; i’m sorry if i get sappy or anything;; please accept my love <33

ABBIE - @seungcheolrk & @rkwon & @rkgwen - sunshine, my lovely amazing sunshine;; thank you. thank you, thank you. its been nearly five years of friendship, can you imagine it? soon, in just two months, it will be half a decade and i am extremely grateful;; i can’t explain it and i know that even saying it on a daily basis to you, it won’t be enough;; its funny how we started talking through rksoo and ellyrk, and now here we are, four years later, rkjicheol being in the same company, debuting together, in the same group. in all honesty, i remember when i dropped jihoon and then picked him up after like, literally two months, and it was one of the best decisions i ever made. i always have fun talking to you, plotting and threading and i honestly wish i did it a lot more than i currently do, but you know, uni is kicking my ass hasljdhlas anyway;; thank you, sunshine, thank you a lot and for these almost five years i love you a lot 🍅🍅🍅

HUNNIE - @yutark & @rksunwoo & @rkseokwoo - where do i even start?? like, oh wow, there is A LOT;; i can definitely say, we started talking when i suggested jihoon as sunwoo’s first kiss and look where the are now? dating, for what? seven months, can you believe that? SEVEN!!! this is insane haha;; and look and where we are now, talking on a daily basis, and its very very nice;; i don’t know what i would do nowadays without you, so i’m really really thankful you deal with my sorry ass so much ahdsdsalla it started with jihoon and sunwoo, then it transitioned to younghyun and yuta, and most recently, its been yuta and hyuna and their lil game of cat and mouse;; its always fun plotting with you, threading, talking, everything really;; and i really hope it will continue to be this way;; i love you

LYN - @rkxsnn & @rkavery - hello there mum!!! impressed im starting with you? anyway, i have A LOT OF THANK YOUS TO TELL YOU, starting from dealing with me, to helping me get through college, to life advice, to all the skype calls we had, a lot of things in these past few years. even if we don’t talk as much and i know you have life kicking u in the ass, i wish we could change that soon;; i miss you a lot;; all of your muses are amazing and i absolutely adore them, as much as i do you!! hmu soon;; minsoo and elly were iconic, and he will forever be a huge part of her;; remember that mino and taehyun ship we had? good angst times lbr.

JEN - @yujurk - sup there mum number 2 even though i act older than you, you can’t even lie about that haha; you were one of the first people i started talking to in rookies, and still do on a weekly basis? daily? you get the point haha;; damn, i don’t think we ever argued as well, which is insane and you do give good advice and oh my god your muses are so funnnnnnnnnn bring all of themmmmmmmm innnnnnnnnnnnnn;; i’m so so happy that you came back to rookies after that hiatus;; really really happy;; jieun and hyuna are iconic partners in crime;; jihoon is grateful that jieun taught him how to sing;; hyuna thinks soyeon will forever haunt her, no doubt;; jkook is forever jihoon’s bunny you can fight him about it;; eunwoo says jkook never took her on a date, she’s upset about it haha

CLARA - @rkwendy & @rkjohnny - clara clara clara. you really love having me send the group chat into gay panic huh? i will forever continue to do it, do not worry. once a week sound good? hahah;; i wish we talked more than we do lately, but its always fun no matter what it is;; i also know for sure, you have my back and we can take over a country if we tried hard enough lbr;; i think we mainly stared talking when the brosquad/antisquad happened, which was pretty much when i joined rookies haha;; so again, nearly five years of friendship look at that!! we need to talk more and you need to tell me more baking recipes!! i think it was hyuna and wendy that we first got to interact and then wendy and jihoon and funny enough, i feel like jihoon and wendy are closer than hyuna and wendy haha;; then younghyun joined the picture to fully annoy wendy out of this word;; we need to thread more sobs;; lets make that happen yeah?

SHINOBI - @rkkangjoon & @rkgray- hello there shinobi. i think our meet up scenario was the same as with clarea, huh? brosquad/antisquad;; we should talk more, that’s a definite but i think that with hyuna&kangjoon we have gotten a lot closer than before and its really cute and nice and i love it qwq gray and hyuna need to release a hit song someday, we better make that happen yeah??? good!!

SACHA - @rkrose & @rkkyungri - i am super super duper ultra mega giga happy we got to talk a lot in the past few months, get to know each other and its very very nice;; i always have fun talking to you and i know i can lean on you if my day has been shitty, and i am sorry if i’ve had a lot of shitty days sadhljsajldnl ahhh, but yes, our muses will go through a lot and i’m really happy you enjoy it and i hope we can see them grow and develop!!

ANI - @rkchungha & @rksohee& @rkmiya - what am i actually gonna do without you, that’s a very very good question i was asking myself recently. its really weird we never really talked a lot until younghyun was brought into rookies, which was i think this year huh? funny, very weird, what life was i living without you in it?? hahaha, anyway, i’m really glad and happy having chungha and younghyun so close got us to be closer as well, even if i set you into rp panic with random questions and potential scenarios haha;; i’m glad you enjoy them;;; love you lots!!

CARLY - @taeminrk & @rkluna & @danielxrk - we don’t really talk much, but in reality, i actually don’t know where i’d be rn if i couldn’t come to you with stupid questions and inquiries;; i wish you all the best in every possible aspect of life and love seeing you on the dash;; ngl i am also extremely and forever sorry that you have to read through hyunark’s post from like three years ago, that;s some nasty writing right there yikes;; but thank you for taking rookies under your wing and just expanding it and making it better and better with the rest of the mod team;; keep up the good work!!

a very special thanks to all of the royal girls, @rkxnarong , @rkyena , @rkella , @rkcheri , @rksoohyun , @rklisa , @rkrose who made royal survival a blessing, her stay in royal amazing as well;; special thanks to all the royal boys, ex ones count as well, fight me @rkbyunbaek , @jaehyunrk , @kibumrk, @yienrk , @rkseonho, thank you for being a part of hyunark’s journey in royal fun and emotional lbr;; you guys managed to make royal fun for me as well, so thank you so so so much to every single one of you guys;;

a huge thank you for og trc roster that’s still here and dealt with jihoon;s sorry ass back then; a huge thank you for the kt roster that had to deal with jihoon as well, even if it was for a short amount of time;; a huge thank you for sphere, and convex members @seungcheolrk , @rkhyun , @rkjinwook , @kibumrk , @rkjinkis , @rktaeyxng , @tenrk , @rkxroyal , @rkohsehun , @yienrk , @rkromeo , @rkzyx, who will now have to deal with jihoon like it not, but i apologize on his behalf;; even if i don’t say it often, i am really really happy jihoon got to debut with your boys and i’m happy i get to interact with all of you so much;; thank you, thank you, thank you;;

thank you rookies, for such an amazing time!! i can only wish and hope for many more!!!

#;wordcount/2715 #rkfifth #[[ im an emotional ball of sap rn #[[ thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you

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unknowngirl199424-blog · 5 years

Text

Pt. 3

Now being the pretty innocent girl i was. I smoked weed very occasionally. Drank every now and then. But that was it really. I smoked cigs. Stupid choice i made at an even more stupid young age. I was 13 when i tried it. 15 when i started smoking every day. (My parents knew, they didn't care) my younger sister had been smoking for years. She partied a lot. Drank a lot. Smoked a lot. Took a lot of pills. Would steal my moms pain pills that she needed from the back surgeries. Mom would run out at the end of the month and would bawl... Literally wail in pain. And it never stopped my sister. I caught her several times. Id get pissed. Ask her wtf she was doing, or why... But she never stopped. I never told... I was drowning in depression. It started when i was 13. After my grandma passed. I changed... She was my world.

My parents partied ALOT!

Used LOTS of drugs...

Ranging from just weed, to coke, to meth...

The first half of my life... From birth till... 14? I think was when they quit all the hard shit for good. They were just... Mom and dad. I mean i loved them, i respected them, but... I didn't have anything to compare it to. It was normal for me to walk in and see light bulbs just randomly on the coffee table.

It was normal for me to wake my sis up in the morning, helping her get dressed, teeth brushed, food in her belly and out the door waiting on the bus. Every day. We lived in the country about 20 miles from town where our friends were. So all we had was each other. In the summer as soon as the sun started to show, 7:00ish. My parents would rush into our room. One would wake up me while the other would wake my sister. Rush us up and to get dressed and outside. We'd be outside alllllllllll day long in the summer in Oklahoma heat. They'd have friends over and lock the doors. We played. Sometimes the friends would bring their kids and we'd run around and play all day. I was a tom boy. I had scarred bloody knees almost daily from wrecking my bike. Would just walk around the property we lived on. Played with our dogs. Pissed off snakes that liked to live in the barn or chicken coop. I ran a lot. BUT IT WAS NORMAL TO ME. They started to quit when i was 12. Then grandma passed. They started again. Didn't stop for good until mom was hurt and dad was fired for pissing dirty for weed, coke, and meth. He was rehired 6 months later. But shit was rough at the time. So after losing my grandma. I went into myself. She loved me, took care of me. Gave me what i wanted and needed. I basically broke. I was never really an over joyous kid. I was raped and molested by my cousin. And so i always carried pain. But grandma was who made me happy. She passed. And from that point in my life from 13 to 18. I cut a lot. I was emotionless most days. But some days I'd break and cry for hours. For the longest time i thought i was depressed because of grandma. But i realized... Depression is a disease. And once you get a good dose of it, it stays. It twists and folds and wiggles its way into every fibre of your being and clings. And bad things that go on add to it and over time, you are eye level deep terrified you're gonna go under soon and no one will notice. Well over the years shit was added. Once I realised i could.... Not feel the pain and sadness... I latched on. Over time the occasional smoking weed went to every day several times a day. Drinking came up for awhile but i hated feeling like shit the next day so i quit. My ex gave me a pain pill one day.

I realised that not only could i get away from the pain and depression, i could feel fucking amazing while doing so. So it started out ya know. Once a week. Just one. To 2 a week to 4 a week to at least 1 every day. When we went up north. Pills were every where. Drugs in general. And i wanted to experience things. We had fun. Went lots of places. Did lots of things. Parties, festivals, fairs, amusement parks, museums, art museums, craft fairs, art stores, book stores, malls, movie theaters.. Just... it was great. I met her friends. They were like her. We partied a lot. I was soley living in the moment for once instead of striving to please everyone else. It was a stupid choice. But it was my choice. Over the years. The fun with it stopped... it became a nessecity. She got shitty and mean sober and i was just as miserable. I wanted happiness not that. Her dad would give us pain pills every day and muscle relaxers. If we did literally anything for him he'd pay us in pills. My ex was also prescribed pain pills too! We'd go through them so quick and then he'd give them to us so we didn't go through withdrawal. By year 3 (2015) I'm 21. I'm working a few months here a few months there. Living the same daily cycle. My day didn't start until pills were thrown down my throat. The habit got bad. I was to a point i was taking fucking handfulls of pills. Daily. And didn't feel ok until then. The few days i didn't have them, i literally slept all day and all night. I was burying my issues with a dark coping mechanism.

I started falling out of love. I left her once last year and we got back together the next day. I told her she couldn't keep stopping me from leaving because it was making me hate her. She wouldnt let go. We stayed together for 4 months. I broke up with her and moved back to oklahoma the beginning of this year. But she was my comfort. Pills were my comfort. After being here for 4 months i let her come back. It was bad. I got back into pills again and one day i told her i didn't want to be with her anyone. She was here for a month at that point. But she wasn't trying to work. She wouldn't do anything. But look for pills. I told her i was done. She gave me some pills. I didn't know what they were but she told me they were for anxiety. And i was really upset. So i took them. We kept arguing. She kept giving me more. My parents stopped by to drop something off, i guess i was wayyyyy out of it. They leave. The fight blows up. I tell her i want her gone. She kept refusing. Idk what happened. It was like a light switch went off. I went to the kitchen and grabbed a steak knife and sliced my wrist up for the first time ever... I only cut my stomach and thighs as a teen. She came around the corner and saw what i was doing and broke a glass vase i had. She ran over and grabbed the blade. Started yanking it from me. I guess we fought over it pretty hard cuz all i remember was it flying across the room and when i got back 6 days later it was soooo bent up.

She kept going and going and i grabbed a piece of glass and cut, she got it away and i just collapsed to the floor. She tried hugging me. I screamed at her for being toxic for me. To not touch me. To just call my mom. My mom shows up. Its like 11:30 at night at this point and she freaks out. My ex starts shit with her. They argue. I scream at them that they needed to stop and mom took me to the er. I guess by that point i was in and out of consciousness. One thing i do remember was seeing an old teacher that i had from yearrrrs ago when i went to a vocational school to become a certified nurse aid. I really looked up to her at 17. Admired her. She was a Dr there in the er. It was humialting. I cried. I guess i pissed in a cup for em or something. I don't remember. But they told my mom (which i didn't find out till almost a week later) that i was overdosing. That all of what i took hadn't caught up and that's why i was talking really crazy and blacking out. I don't remember. But the next morning i wake up. There was a cop sitting next to my bed. 20 mins later im being handcuffed and put in a cruiser and drove over a hr to a phych place. Guess the dr asked me the night before what would happen if i went home and i said i didn't know. So they legally put me there for 5 days so i couldn't be any harm to myself.

5 good things about being put there.

1. I had no access to pills, alcohol, even cigarettes. So i was very very clear headed. The first time in almost 6 years. Had time to think about where tf my life has landed me.

2. I realized how fucking truly bad our relationship was. And came to the conclusion that if we stayed together. One, if not both of us was gonna end up in a casket. Whether it be from pills or not. It was gonna happen.

3. I realized that i deserved wayyyy better. Relationship wise. Life wise. I deserved someone who could push me in the healthy direction. Make positive choices. I felt like instead of maturing, i was still trapped in an 18 yr olds mentality.

4. I ended it. And that time i meant it. There's nothing she could offer me. That would make me go back. Not a million dollars, not a billion, not even all the stars in the sky. I have nothing for her.

5. I met someone who treats me amazing now. Who pushes me. Keeps me away from the shit. I've been pain pill free for 5 months and its staying that way.

And for once... I'm starting to actually feel happy. Genuinely. I was prescribed anti depressants, anti anxiety, and a sleep disorder med. I stopped taking the anti depressants because they made it worse. But im to the point where the good days finally out weigh the bad. And when the bad come, i roll with it.

For the new year. I have a few goals.

1. Continue all the hard work ive put into myself. Keep eating healthy. Keep exercising. Keep pushing myself forward. No more settling for less what what i truly want.

2. Stay tf away from pain pills. 👍 keep fighting that demon in me who whispers how good I would feel or how one wouldn't hurt...

3. Quit smoking cigs. They're killing me. My lungs hurt all the time.

4. Continue bettering my life. I got away from her for 4 months and i had my own home, vehicle, and a high paying easy job. Brought her back for a month, had a suicidal moment. But she's gone and im in a great relationship. And I'm fucking HAPPY!

5. Quit being so fucking hard on myself. I hate the way i look, i hate my body. But they can be changed. Stress over things that need it but relax more. I'm 24. I still have time.

I STILL HAVE FUCKIN TIME

#mine #personal #journal #diary #dear diary #my diary #my words #my escape #my post #getting better #one step at a time

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killerqueenjoy · 5 years

Text

99 Question Tag

okay okay I know i got tagged to do this like a month ago on my main blog by @santonicababy iM SORRY LIN ILY BUT THIS WAS SO DAMN LONG

1) DO YOU SLEEP WITH YOUR CLOSET DOORS OPEN OR CLOSED

I sleep in the room where everybodies closets are and they all gotta be closed goddamn do you know how spooky it is to even have one open during the night

2) DO YOU TAKE THE SHAMPOOS AND CONDITIONER BOTTLES FROM HOTELS

my parents do, but alas I don't use them in case they have silicones or sulphates in them because I got a whole lotta curls to protect

3)DO YOU SLEEP WITH YOUR SHEETS TUCKED IN OR OUT?

if this refers to the sheet protecting the mattress, then my answer is in because how the fuck would you be able to sleep with that moving around???

4) HAVE YOU STOLEN A STREET SIGN BEFORE

NO SORRY IM BORING

5)DO YOU LIKE TO USE POST IT NOTES

heck yeah, but for random shit

6) DO YOU EVER CUT OUT COUPONS BUT THEN NEVER USE THEM

nee my parents are fancy fuckers who use the coupons on their phone (our local supermarket has a damn app skskksksk)

7) WOULD YOU RATHER BE ATTACKED BY A BIG BEAR OR A SWARM OF BEES

a bear because its one giant son of a bitch and not millions of tiny motherfuckers and also I've never been stung by a bee and intend to keep it that way because majority of my family seem to be allergic

8) DO YOU HAVE FRECKLES

nope! I have a couple beauty spots on my hands and face but thats kinda it

9) DO YOU ALWAYS SMILE FOR PICTURES

not really but if I've been told to smile then its 200% dead inside

10) WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST PET PEEVE

i find many things annoying

11)DO YOU EVER COUNT YOUR STEPS WHEN YOU WALK

only when i go up and down stairs, but i also try to make sure i step with each foot equally (if that makes sense) and i step on only certain colour tiles when im bored

12) HAVE YOU EVER PEED IN THE WOODS

the real question is have i ever been in the woods? both answers are no

13) HAVE YOU EVER POOPED IN THE WOODS

refer to question 12

14)ummmm idk what this question is meant to be curse you Lin

15)DO YOU CHEW YOUR PENS AND PENCILS

nope, the idea weirds me out

16) HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE YOU SLEPT WITH THIS WEEK

none, this week and in general

17) WHAT SIZE IS YOUR BED

one person and a long yet smol doggo size

18) WHAT IS YOUR SONG OF THE WEEK

Eddie from the Rocky Horror Picture Show has been stuck in my head for the whole week so yeah i guess that

19)IS IT OKAY FOR GUYS TO WEAR PINK

HeLL YEAH DUDE HAVE YOU SEEN RAMI MALEK IN PINK

SKSKSKSKS END MY LIFE

but yeah, anyone can wear anything they want to wear (although a suit made out of meat might not be wise)

20) DO YOU STILL WATCH CARTOONS

dudeeeee scooby doo and tom and jerry are my jam I watch them on the regular (among other things)

21)WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVOURITE MOVIE

uhhm idkkkkk I tend to repress bad movies sksksk

22)WHERE WOULD YOU BURY HIDDEN TREASURE IF YOU HAD SOME

idk shove it in the closet ig at least it will be hidden behind my sexuality

23)WHAT DO YOU DRINK WITH DINNER

I usually only drink before or after but ig water??? cooldrink if I'm in a restaurant

24)WHAT DO YOU DIP A CHICKEN NUGGET IN

depends on the nug

25)WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE FOOD

How dare you assume i only have one favourite

tbh it depends cos i love pizza and pasta and stuff but then i cannot live with my granny's curries ksksmks

26) WHAT MOVIES COULD YOU WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN AND STILL LOVE

borhap, sing street, rhps, the natm movies, the harry potter movies, any mcu movies

27)LAST PERSON YOU KISSED/KISSED YOU

ahhahahahahahha bold of you to assume anyone wants to do that

28) WERE YOU EVER A BOY/GIRL SCOUT

nope but I was a catrobat which is basically my preschools acrobatics team that was actually really terrible

29)WOULD YOU EVER STRIP OR POSE NUDE IN A MAGAZINE

nahh m8

30) WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WROTE A LETTER TO SOMEONE ON PAPER

this week for a transactional task at school (It was in Afrikaans and I got a C skskskks)

31)CAN YOU CHANGE THE OIL IN A CAR

omg no

32)EVER GOTTEN A SPEEDING TICKET

not old enough to drive!

33)EVER RAN OUT OF GAS

my parents never have for as long as i can remember

34)WHATS YOUR FAVOURITE KINDA SANDWHICH

cheese because I am actually John Deacon

35)BEST THING TO EAT FOR BREAKFAST

MUFFINS!!!!

36)WHAT IS YOUR USUAL BEDTIME

school nights its 11pm otherwise i dont have one lol

37)ARE YOU LAZY

YES BUT MY LAZINESS MAKES ME ANXIOUS OOF

38)WHEN YOU WERE A KID WHAT DID YOU DRESS UP AS FOR HALLOWEEN

we dont celebrate that here but i rly want to it seems fun!

39)WHAT IS YOUR CHINESE ASTROLOGICAL SIGN

Ram, which is really cool because im an Aries, so I'm sheep squared

40)HOW MANY LANGUAGES CAN YOU SPEAK

English, Afrikaans (at a basic highschool level), I could speak very vERY basic isiZulu when I was younger but I'm not sure about now, I know a bit of French and Telugu, and I'm gonna start learning Hindi soon!!

41) DO YOU HAVE ANY MAGAZINE SUBSCRIPTIONS

nee

42) WHICH ARE BETTER, LEGOS OR LINCOLN LOGS

i didn't play much with legos and i have no idea what the second one is rip

43)ARE YOU STUBBORN

to an extent

44)WHO IS BETTER, LENO OR LETTERMAN

I kept reading Leno as Lenin ffs

45)EVER WATCH SOAP OPERAS

I watch them occasionally with my granny, but I don't keep up with them very well (Kasamh Se is my shit tho)

46)ARE YOU AFRAID OF HEIGHTS

no, im afraid of falling in general tho

47) DO YOU SING IN THE CAR

My dad and I bop frequently to Never Gonna Give You Up in the car, and also classic bollywood songs (we have even learnt the choreography for some)

48)DO YOU SING IN THE SHOWER

i perform

49) DO YOU DANCE IN THE CAR

well theres not exactly much space

50)EVER USED A GUN

nope

51)LAST TIME YOU GOT A PORTRAIT TAKEN BY A PHOTOGRAPHER

not sure

52)DO YOU THINK MUSICALS ARE CHEESY

most are but thats why i like them

53) IS CHRISTMAS STRESSFUL

we don't celebrate because we're not Christian (we still eat a lot and exchange presents tho), but it can get stressful if we have to visit extended family, mostly because my extended family loves to insult everything about me so thats great!

54)EVER EAT A PIEROGI

not i good sir

55) FAVOURITE TYPE OF FRUIT PIE

never had one, it doesnt appeal to me

56) OCCUPATIONS YOU WANTED TO BE WHEN YOU WERE A KID

a vet

57)DO YOU BELIEVE IN GHOSTS

i am a ghost

58)EVER HAD A DEJA-VU FEELING

not that i remember

59)DO YOU TAKE A VITAMIN DAILY

yes, I take a multi vitamin, a vitamin D pill because I'm vitamin D deficient, and im not sure if this is a vitamin or not but i take evening primrose oil so that im not outwardly a bitch due to pms

60)DO YOU WEAR SLIPPERS

i wear slipper socks, because my doggo got jealous of my doggie slippers and murdered them in cold blood

61)DO YOU WEAR A BATH ROBE

i have one and rarely use it because i forget it exists

62)WHAT DO YOU WEAR TO BED

a random shirt and pants, though ive been known to kick pants off (ive been doing that since birth), occasionally i manage to get the matching pj set

63)WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CONCERT

ive unfortunately never been to a concert before

64)WALMART TARGET OR KMART

ive never seen any of these stores in my country

65)NIKE OR ADIDAS

i own neither

66) CHEETOS OR FRITOS

neither

67)PEANUTS OR SUNFLOWER SEEDS

Peanuts because thats my doggos name!

68) EVER HEARD OF THE GROUP TRES BIEN

no sorry

69)EVER TAKE DANCE LESSONS

i went to a bhangra class for about a year, and we performed for our parents at the end of that year (i was in one of the few groups that didnt have to dance in lehengas thank goodness)

70)IS THERE A PROFESSION YOU PICTURE

YOUR FUTURE SPOUSE DOING

probably something creative, but I don't mind as long as they're happy with what they're doing and its not harming others!

71)CAN YOU CURL YOUR TONGUE

yep

72)EVER WON A SPELLING BEE

never entered one, having to spell out loud makes me anxious

73)HAVE YOU EVER CRIED BECAUSE YOU WERE SO HAPPY

i think so

74)OWN ANY RECORD ALBUMS

nope

75)OWN A RECORD PLAYER

i wish

76)DO YOU REGULARLY BURN INCENSE

my granny burns incense while I'm at school because my mom and i both get really sick when its just been lit and the smell is strong. Going to the temple is a damn nightmare because of it

77)EVER BEEN IN LOVE

no, too busy fangirling

78)WHO WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE IN CONCERT

oof a long list

Queen, Twenty One Pilots, Waterparks, Frank Iero and the Future Violents (ffs fronk stop changin the name), Panic! at the Disco...to name a few

79)WHAT WAS THE LAST CONCERT YOU SAW

refer to question 63

80)HOT TEA OR COLD TEA

both

81)TEA OR COFFEE

coffee

82)SUGAR COOKIES OR SNICKERDOODLES

sugar cookies

83)CAN YOU SWIM WELL

i wouldn't drown, but im no professional either

84)CAN YOU HOLD YOUR BREATH WITHOUT HOLDING YOUR NOSE

im doing it right now

85)ARE YOU PATIENT

86)DJ OR BAND AT A WEDDING

I've only ever been to Hindi,Tamil and Telugu weddings and lemme tell you 90% of the time bands flop at those weddings because they can't sing the classics without failing miserably, so DJs are generally better. However, in that case, if a band can perform those songs, then I'd prefer a band ig

87)EVER WON A CONTEST

yep, a couple of reading contests

88)HAVE YOU EVER HAD PLASTIC SURGERY

nope, not planning on it

89)WHICH ARE BETTER, BLACK OR GREEN OLIVES

dont like olives rip

90)CAN YOU KNIT OR CROCHET

i can knit!

in fact, my friends and i are so cool that we're in our schools knitting club (which besides myself, @grandfunnyemopainter and @imjustabruh , only has 2 other members)

91)BEST ROOM FOR A FIREPLACE

lounge or study/library

92)DO YOU WANT TO GET MARRIED

i guess, its not on my goal list tho

93)IF MARRIED, HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN MARRIED

94)WHO WAS YOUR HIGHSCHOOL CRUSH

currently in highschool, and in love with the borhap cast, sebastian stan, stephanie beatriz and band members (theres more but yeah)

95)DO YOU CRY AND THROW A FIT UNTIL YOU GET YOUR OWN WAY

nope, i have only two ways to deal, be a total pushover or a total bitch

96)DO YOU HAVE KIDS

nope

97)DO YOU WANT KIDS

kind of undecided, but i do want more pets

98)WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE COLOUR

Dark Blue

99)DO YOU MISS ANYONE RIGHT NOW

my dog, shes been ignoring me for about four hours now because I stayed at school for an extra hour (for knitting club!)

@softspaceboibrian @roger-taylor-owns-my-wigg @im-inlovewithmycar do it cowards

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guillemelgat · 6 years

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11+11=22 Questions

I got tagged in two of the 11 questions ask games by @elnas-studies and @hardlyfluent (thank you both so much!!), so I combined them both in a really long hell post which I’m putting under a cut because otherwise this will be horrifying

RULES: Answer the 11 questions. Make 11 of your own and tag 11 people.

1. how old were you when you started learning other languages besides your native one(s)?

Unless you count my early attempts to learn Malayalam, which arguably started at the age of about two, then I’d say I really started learning another language when I had to take Spanish in sixth grade, which was a struggle at first but eventually I fell in love with it

2. have you ever dated one of your crushes before?

dating???? crushes????? im donot know what youre talking about

3. what is your strengths and weaknesses as a language learner?

My strength is probably my refusal to think things are “weird” or “difficult” and just kind of accepting them as a fact, and also the fact that I adore grammar. My weakness is definitely that I loathe learning vocabulary, and also the fact that I tend to just skim stuff to learn all the cool grammar and never actually practice anything :,))

4. why are you studying the languages you are studying?

oh boy get ready this is going to be a long ride

Spanish - I had to take it in school but the reason I currently speak it to any degree is probably thanks to my obsession with Latin pop during the dark years of my life (we don’t talk about that here)

Catalan - because it’s perfect and also because I love literally every aspect of Catalan culture, did you honestly expect me to say something else??

Welsh - originally because I read a series called The Dark is Rising when I was in fourth grade and it had Welsh in it and I was like I want to learn this and so I (sort of) did

Basque - not gonna lie, this one was for Xabi Solano (if I try to pretend like it’s not y’all will find me out eventually because everything is on this blog)

Turkish - good question, why am I learning Turkish?? jk, I think Turkey is a fascinating country with a really interesting history, also it appreciates cats so that’s a win

Western Abenaki - this is an indigenous language from around where I’m from so I feel like the least I could do would be to learn it considering I’m occupying their land, also I grew up listening to an Abenaki storyteller named Joseph Bruchac so it’s close to my heart

Romani - this was also a language I wanted to learn in fourth grade because we had an album of Romani music and it was one of my favorite things in the world and I wanted to be able to learn all the words to the songs, I guess not much has changed since then

Malayalam - me?? learning languages for actual reasons??? it’s more likely than you think (this is my heritage language, my dad’s family is Malayali)

Arabic - originally I had good reasons for learning this, now I’m just doing it for Mashrou’ Leila

Tamahaq - in case you’re not seeing a pattern here hopefully this will help, I’m learning this for Tinariwen so I can understand their songs

5. where in the world would u move to if u could?

Either the rural Pyrenees somewhere (La Garrotxa or Ripollès probably), somewhere in the New England woods, or Minneapolis (sorry I just really fell in love with that city it’s not my fault that it’s so good)

6. what is your favourite food in ur target language(s)?

pasta, I think it’s the same in probably all of them except Turkish, which is makarna

7. what is your favourite genre of books and/or movies?

I used to be a big sci-fi and fantasy person (and still am to some degree), but now I also really like historical fiction (although still with a dose of fantasy if it’s done well), plus literally anything gay

8. do you like poetry? if so, who is your favourite poet?

I’ve never really been into poetry but I absolutely adore Vicent Andrés Estellés

9. have you ever studied abroad?

Not with school, although I did study Spanish at a language school in Oaxaca for a week one summer, but I’m hoping to go to Senegal to do my Official College Study Abroad™ and learn some Wolof :))))

10. what is ur biggest fear?

I have a lot of these, do you really want to get into that (probably either dying or the depths of the ocean)

11. what is the one thing u can’t live without?

Probably my computer because I’m Trash™

1. If you could change your name, would you? and to what?

I actually am seriously considering changing my name irl, but I do also really like my birth name so I’m not sure, this is a difficult question

2. Do you have a favourite artistic movement?

I’m not a cultured person who is capable of having that sort of opinion, although I’m a big fan of art romànic in Catalunya, which is sort of a weird thing to be a fan of but that’s how it be sometimes

3. If you could move anywhere in the world, where would you go?

moving temporarily?? either somewhere in Catalunya or my family’s house in Kerala because it’s going to get sold soon probably since no one lives there anymore but it’s really important in my family’s history and I want to experience it before it’s gone; or, on a less serious note, a sheep farm would also be very nice

4. Do you collect anything? If so, what?

This is going to sound weird especially because I did this as a nine-year-old, but I used to collect business cards?? Now I just collect plants. Lots of plants. Too many plants, really, but who’s to stop me?

5. What is one piece of media that you think everyone should watch/read?

idk if this counts but please watch the video for “Roman” by Mashrou’ Leila, it’s amazing (I could rec books and stuff but I don’t have the same taste as people and also a lot of the stuff I watch/read is either trash or too mainstream to bother putting here)

6. What was your first favourite band/singer?

Hmm…let’s play it safe and say the Academy of St. Martin in the Fields because I was a cultured 4-year-old who listened exclusively to classical music (what happened to me, we will never know), outside of that I’m honestly not sure because I’ve had favorite bands my whole life and so it’s hard to say who was the first

7. What is your favourite season?

Autumn, but honestly my favorite season is whatever season comes next, I’m always ready for the change when it (finally) happens - that’s why I can’t live in places where it’s warm/temperate all year round, I’d go crazy

8. What’s your favourite song from your home country?

Oh wow this is difficult because (1) there’s a lot of music from the US and (2) I listen to almost none of it so... I’m going to pass on this for now

9. Is there any fashion style from the past that you would like to bring back?

I’m the wrong person to ask about fashion, I have the fashion sense of one of those guys on Queer Eye who Tan has to save because they wear jeans and a t-shirt to everything

10. What song do you currently listen to the most?

I’ve been listening to “Imm El Jacket” a lot recently because it’s the best, also “Entre poetas y presos” by La Raíz

Here are my questions:

1. What was your favorite childhood book/series?

2. What’s your favorite song in each of the languages you’re learning?

3. Do you prefer living in warm weather (above 25ºC/75ºF) or cold weather (below 0ºC/32ºF)?

4. Do you have pets? What kind/what are their names? If not, would you like a pet?

5. What is piece of advice you would give to your younger self if you could?

6. Who is one famous person that you really like/look up to?

7. What is one thing that you like to do that no one would expect of you? (as in something surprising/something that doesn’t fit with your personality or other interests)

8. Would you rather live in the woods or in the city?

9. What’s one thing in your daily routine that always goes wrong or always irritates you?

10. Do you still have your favorite childhood toy/stuffed animal? What is it?

11. What’s one thing that motivates you or keeps you going when you’re having a hard time?

I’m going to tag @incelphobiia, @reyneclaw, @euryalus, @chatwiththeclouds, @elphaba-masala, @bouzhi, @deepsearuin, but don’t feel obligated to do this at all, it’s totally fine if you don’t want to ^^

#thank you for tagging these are always really fun #sorry to take so long to do this #random stuff #tag games

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xllxxrbxg · 3 years

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hmmm gold digger prank yaya call my aliens from mars and tell them to get the gold

hmmmm idkkkk. update ko lang sa life rn may bebe na me. karlo is his name. he's a nice guy. takes me out (not as a hitman) occasionally. I like how he treats me; he gives me freedom. And it only means he trusts me very well. I dont have any idea where he gets the energy to trust me, but that's how it goes. Kinda shocking ba na may bebe na me hihi kakasabi ko lang sa las entry ko na ayoko maging taken GAGI tapos here i am parang clown. Pero anyways, masarap lang din sa feeling na may nakakaappreciate sayo nang ganun. Tho we just met palang and since day 1 of that meeting him personally, magkalandian na kami agad AHSDHAHDHA kasi sa chat di naman kami nag flirt in any way usap lang lagi. And di ko rin sya feel non sa chat kasi parang ang kulit na ewan, pero LOOK AT ME. So ayon naglaplapan kami the other other week pa. Make out game strongk naman kahit papano pero man his hands ... they long asffff. Anyway ayon I asked for a hickey, gave me one, and the next morning I was scolded by mom lmfao WAS FUNNY TBH BECAUSE i didnt even try to hide it. And my tito also saw it he was like "ano yang nasa neck mo? bat may pasa" and i was like "ah hehe yung ano kasi yung necklace" AHASDHHADHASH AND MOM WAS THERE SHE WAS LIKE "yung necklace nya nagtala sa pagtulog nya *sips coffee bites bread* HAHAHAHHAHAHA OMFG but later on when we went to camalig she noticed it was a real hickey and yeah I got scolded because Im so pasaway daa. Anyways LOVE YOU MOM UWU! HEHE. So ayon nga ayoko na magpromis na maglolog in ako dito daily kasi di naman natutupad. Pero kahapon kwento ko lang mars nagsakay ako sa big bike GARA PAREH as in lahat nakatingin sa tormots nung kasama ko. Nameet ko lang din sa bumble tho tig vibe check ko man sya for several weeks. And sya rin kausap ko nung time na suicidal ako so goods naman. Ok naman sya may dead air lang kaso sometimes baka nagkakahiyaan and stuff. nilibre nya ako ng milk tea, AND HAHA KASI ang weirdt tho nagtanggal ako mask. Di ako usually natanggal mask, heck si jeff na bff q never pa ako nakita personally na walang mask HAHAHAHA Anw ayon was fun tho napa Holy Mary ako habang nakasakay sa likod niya. Kasi first of all the ride was bumpy, second of all the seat was small ASS!!! and walang hawakan sa likod. Anyway people were staing hihi I DO LOVE ATTENTION! I was wearing a tank top, cargo pants, combat boots, and on top of it all I had a tatt on my arm. DAMN SHAWDDIE @ ME. LOL. Loved the temporary feeling of royalty. Gara ba naman ng motor. It was green and black in color and it was a cool ass expensive motor !! it was worth 300k+ if irc. ANW ayun had fun naman. Tho I mostly did it so that I would stray from depression but I am still depressed. I have to do something about it INTERNALLY and deal with it with myself. And stop going out with people as a shortcut to heal the depression. But anw ayun I am glad there are people that go out with me because I am sad. Plus I am grateful Karlo allows me to go out with my other friends despite that they are guys. Man that guy trusts me so much, I will not break it. Anyways he's a nice guy, but at the same time you cant have it all yk. I dont like it when he walks ahead of me just cause he has longer legs and bikes, but we can work on that. Anyways, people underestimate people on bumble. Some guys don't look like it but theyre actually rich. First example i have is AJ. he aint lookin rich man. If anything, he looks like he smokes 8 packs a day. But I was wrong he actually smokes 9. CHAROT. Mans was like teasing me most of the time and I GOT PISSED SO I FIRED BACK. but days passed he sent me 1.3k--- LIKE WHAT FOR WHAT????? I was mean yet he knew I needed something to cheer me up and HE SENT MONEY?? WHO THE FUCK SENDS 1.3K AHAHAHHAHAH SHET GANDALANGTALAGAMINSANMARS Then the other one I met just yesterday was dustin. He goes to school at UST manila and he treated me outside too. He owns the 300k motor BUT TELL YOU WHAT HE AINT LOOKIN RICH ON HIS PROFILE. If anything, I wouldnt swipe right tbh but apprarently, I did. So lesson here is dont judge people by their looks,

actually try to have a conversation with them, and treat them fairly and not be mean just because its online. Also, mostly the goodlooking ones on these dating apps are the asshole ones lmfao. Tho there are guys who look like literal shit and are assholes too. Lol anyway the third one is Karlo which I started seeing a month ago. I met up with him because I was visiting Naga temporarily and then I got bored. Supposedly I would meet up with miki because we were talking for sometime already but he was not making things happen so I just grabbed whoever was available that time and it was Karlo. Was hesitant at first, because I didnt match the vibe he had online and was too makulit for me. But to my surprise on our very first meeting, he picked me up with a fortuner. I thought he'd bring a clanky ass car or somn when he said he'd borrow from his father. Anw, was nervous when I entered the car because I was unfamiliar with the person and it was sinking into me that it could be my last day on earth. So I was like yeah he might have a car yada yada yada didnt pay much attention just yet. So we went to this field apparently people call it naga view. not much too see just overlooking the city. IT WAS A DAMN FIELD!!!!!! IDK WTD BUT HE TOOK ME THERE I WAS READY TO FIGHT FOR MY LIFE I HAD A CUTTER WITH MEEE anways.... was fun date. we had to return the car by 3 we were kinda late. so we went to his house was a nice house it had an office. was then again surprised to see a signange with their surname on it and it entailed they had a realty firm. And also turns out they own a damn resort. bro. both of his parents are engineers and are real estate brokers. and it ain even show on the pfffppp man people on bumble really be keeping it lowkey. Pero yeah he isnt rich, his parents are. that makes him a rich kid. But anw di ko naman habol money ew im not like that. I may like free stuf, but I dont chase people for money unless theyre my client or if i lent money lmfao. Just surprises me how people be rich. like damn his bike is like 130k...... man what in the wealth.... also theres zef. another good friend of mine. his dads a lawyer. idk but they seem rich plus his bike costs 65k...... thats cheper than karlos but like........... yall underestimate bikers too. man they RICH. tho you can get budget bikes but idk how youll keep up with guys that has feather weight expensive ass bikes that they hoist up single handedly LMAO. eat the rich. anyways i guess this is what this entry is all about. Me making kwento about people that are rich. I will get rich soon too. I know God will help us get what we deserve after all that losing, it is time to win. <3333

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joshpup · 6 years

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To Love Or Not To Love // Pt. 9

Intro // Pt. 1 // Pt. 2 // Pt. 3 // Pt. 4 // Pt. 5 // Pt. 6 // Pt. 7 // Pt. 8 // Pt. 9 // Pt. 10 // Pt. 11 // Pt. 12 // Pt. 13 // Pt. 14 // Pt. 15 // Pt. 16 // Pt. 17 Word Count: 2,560 Genre: Svt Mafia Au Member: Mingyu TW: Angst, Cursing, Violence, mention of blood, eventually fluff. idk about tw if there is one i should add pls let me know im bad at them

“No one else has told you yet?” Joshua asked, plucking a section from the clementine and popping it in his mouth.

“I’ve heard things here and there, but no one’s bothered to give me the full story. They all said that was something for you to tell me.” you explained. Joshua nodded.

“There’s no point in keeping it from you, besides we are kind of in the same boat if you haven’t figured out yet.” He said, leaning back in his chair. “Do you want the short version of the long version?”

“Whichever you think is best.”

“I’ll try to keep it on the shorter side then, but no promises.” Joshua said, adjusting his seat before going into the tale.

“So, I lived a pretty well-off childhood. I spent most of it with my mom, because my dad was always in and out of the house on his so called ‘business trips.’ Only later did I find out that he was actually a part of a gang, and actually held a pretty high up position in that gang. He’d managed to keep it well hidden from me, so well hidden that even after they got me, I didn’t know what was going on. Apparently, my dad rubbed the wrong group the wrong way, and to retaliate they came after me.

“I was on my way to school one day when this group of people showed up and started chasing me. I didn’t even know what was going on but I just ran for my life. I was able to outrun them for a little, but well, as you can tell I didn’t get all the way fast enough. They ended up cornering me and then managed to knocking me unconscious, and before I knew it I was being held hostage at the base camp of one of the most infamous gangs to this day. At the time however they were still growing, but they were big enough to seriously give my dad some issues. Honestly, I’m not sure how hard my dad tried to get me back, I’ve not heard or seen him since that day they pulled me off the street.

“My living conditions were almost a hundred times worse than yours. Rather than just letting me adjust in with their daily life like we have for you, they just threw me in one of the empty rooms and almost never let me out. And if they did let me out, it never ended up being a plus for me. I’d usually end up going back to that room in worse condition then when I left. I somehow managed to stay alive for maybe a year? Time was never a concept in that room for me. I didn’t even have a window, let alone a clock. When one of the gang members would get extremely bored they’d come and mess around with me, but after a while I finally just stopped responding to everything, partly from lack of energy, partly because I simply didn’t care anymore, they soon lost interest in that. Thankfully the oldest member of the gang was decent enough to make sure I would at least get one meal a day, but he never bothered to stop any of the other guys from beating me up just for their amusement. However, I think once they realized that my dad wasn’t going to risk his entire gang just for to get me back, they soon forgot about me, and the meals became less and less.

“On top of all this, I tried to escape a few times, which only pissed them off more. I’m surprised they didn’t just kill me off after the second time I tried to run off. I never did make it very far… The furthest was to the front lawn, but the base was located somewhere in the middle of the woods, so even if I did make it away from them, I wouldn’t have the strength to travel all the way through the woods and get help. No matter what I was going to do, I was going to end up dead. I had pretty much accepted my fate when Jeonghan suddenly showed up.

“Apparently one of the members from the gang that had captured me was feeling extra blind that day and thought Jeonghan was a member from one of their branch groups when he found Jeonghan snooping around their base. Thanks to that, Jeonghan was able to use it to his advantage and get further into their base. He never did tell me what he was doing at their base, but when he suddenly slipped into my dark room and realized I was there, barely holding on, his entire mission changed. Honestly, I barely even remember what happened that night. Jeonghan had to carry me out on his back, and I remember hearing gunshots, so we must have just barely escaped. Jeonghan brought me back here, and I basically went into captivity, part two, but this time around was much nicer. Naturally Seungcheol had the same reaction as when Mingyu brought you. The only difference was he thought that I wasn’t going to last very long given the state I arrived in, and let me stay. Ah, I had so many broken bones and was so malnourished it took me so long to get back up to normal health, even now I still have some health issues.

“Of course, similar to what you’re experiencing right now, adapting to this style of living took a while. I never wanted to become part of a gang. I just wanted to get back to my normal life and go to college and get a decent job. I guess it was just meant to be, seeing as how my dad was already in this line of work…There were a lot of trust issues between both me and Seventeen. For the longest time I only ever talked with Jeonghan, and very little at that. To me, it was going from one captor to another, but to Jeonghan, he had saved someone. Because we had such different views on the situation it caused a lot of issues between everyone. I guess that’s how you and Mingyu are right now… It took a good while for me to get to trust everyone, and there were some pretty intense after effects of living as a captive that for so long. Jeonghan would stay up with me all the nights I couldn’t sleep because of the nightmares, and eventually, very slowly, I’ve made it to where I am now.” Joshua said, his clementine long forgotten on the table in front of him. He suddenly laughed. “Honestly when I first saw Jeonghan standing over me that night, I thought he was an angel and I had finally died. In a way I guess he was a sort of angel...”

You were at a complete loss for words. His story gave you a whole new perspective on life. He had been through hell and back and had never once complained about it to you. He barely even showed that he had once been held captive like that. He seemed to fit in so well you had never expected something like this. No wonder none of the other members wanted to talk about what had happened. You couldn’t imagine what they would have done when Jeonghan showed up with Joshua looking like that.

“It’s not too bad though, at least I gained twelve good friends from the whole ordeal, and I can always be here for you when you need it. I know it’s not easy to go through something like this.” He said, gesturing vaguely to the entire house. You opened your mouth to respond but nothing came out. Finally, you were able to form some words.

“Is that group that did that to you still out there?” you questioned. Joshua ran his fingers through his hair.

“Yah, god, the first time I ran into them after that I thought the world was going to break open and swallow me. I felt so panicked and sick to my stomach I almost blacked out. Thank god I was with the other members then. It’s been a good few years since that all went down, and since then the two groups have been able to smooth things down enough that we can be civil in public together and not start any petty fights like we used too, but yeah, they’re still out there. And still one of the more powerful groups. I don’t think I could ever be alone with anyone from that group however, it would end badly.”

You didn’t know what to say. The fact that the group that had abused and almost killed someone so nice and gentle as Joshua was still out there made your blood boil. Before you could think of something to say you noticed Joshua’s hands shaking ever so slightly as he reached for a piece of the clementine, and you couldn’t help but feel guilty. You’d made him relive one of the worst memories of his life. Without thinking you reached across the table and grabbed his hands in yours.

“I’m glad I got to meet you Joshua, and I’m glad you’re doing better now. I’m sorry I made you relive all of that.” you said softly. Joshua smiled, his eyes twinkling brighter than the stars that filled the night sky outside.

“How about we watch a movie to take our minds off everything? We might as well enjoy our time while out ‘captors’ aren’t awake.” he said with a wink, emphasizing captors. In the end, you realized the both of you were being held by seventeen against your will. Sure, they might be giving more freedom to Joshua then they were to you, but in the end, you were both “prisoners” there. It crossed your mind for a moment to ask whether Joshua had ever tried to leave svt, but before you could give it anymore thought Joshua beckoned you towards the living room with the tv, heading straight for the drawer where they kept all the movies.

The next morning you woke up to loud cooing from a few of the other members. When your eyes finally fluttered open and adjusted against the harsh light of the sun you realized that you were still sitting on the couch. Out of exhaustion, both physically and mentally for the two of you, you had both managed to fall asleep halfway through the movie. Somehow along the night, the tv was turned off and the two of you had obtained blankets, and settled down onto the couch, to tried to go back up to your own rooms. It only then occurred to you that you had full on snuggled up against Joshua, who still sat propped up against the back of the couch. He too was just coming back to his senses. You quickly launched yourself away from him, nearly falling off the couch in the process. Leaning against the door frame, staring daggers into both you and Joshua stood Mingyu, his face stone cold. Joshua quickly tried to explain, but Mingyu turned on his heels and walked away before Joshua could even get a full sentence out.

A wave of guilt washed over you the second his glance crossed yours as he turned to walk away. It’s not like you had done anything wrong though, did you really need to feel guilty and explain yourself to him? You didn’t belong to him so what did it matter what you did, all you did was fall asleep…

Regardless of how you felt about the situation, the guilt was still very much present. Mingyu was in a sour mood the entire morning, and Joshua seemed to be feeling just as guilty as you. The awkward air that filled the room at breakfast was stifling. You sat in your seat that had been pulled up next to Hansol and across from Chan. There wasn’t much room there, but it was better than sitting at the other end of the table, staring straight down the table at Seungcheol. You barely had an appetite, but continued to eat anyways, not wanting to show that it had affected you in any way. The breakfast started off extremely quiet, but when Seokmin finally broke the tension everyone started up in the conversation, soon forgetting about the events from earlier that morning. That is all, except Mingyu.

After breakfast, you helped Chan with all the dishes before heading upstairs to take a shower. Upon finding the shower already being used, you made your way to your room and threw yourself down on the bed. Only a few minutes later you heard your door open. You slowly lifted your head to see who it was, not really bothering to move much. That was, until you realized Mingyu had just walked into your room. You slowly sat up, folding your legs in front of you as you watched him walk closer towards you.

“So, do you still want to go to this ball? I doubt Joshua will be going…” Mingyu asked, his words laced with spite.

“Why would Joshua not go?” you asked back, completely ignoring his harsh tone.

“Exo’s going to be there.” He replied, and once he was you puzzled look he explained further. “The group that got him.” You nodded, now realizing that Josh had never even mentioned the name of the group.

“I mean, whether Joshua goes or not doesn’t really bother me, I just really want to get out of this house even if it’s just for a few minutes.” You explained, shrugging your shoulders. There was a moment of silence before you finally spoke up again.

“Anyways, Mingyu about this morning…” you started, only to be cut off by Mingyu himself.

“Joshua already told me everything.” He said, a little less harsh than the past few times.

“So, then you know nothing happened, would you stop being all harsh to me?” you asked, raising an eyebrow at him. Mingyu sighed and sat down next to you on the bed.

“I’m sorry, it just bothers me that I didn’t know you couldn’t sleep well at night…” he finally sighed.

“It’s fine. Honestly, I thought I would run into you more than anyone else, especially Joshua, but it does make sense. After all he’s been in the same place as me, a lot worse actually. He would know what to expect from me the most, probably even more than I do myself.” Mingyu nodded. “Don’t go bringing your frustration out on Joshua though, he didn’t do anything wrong. In the end, I’m the one that made him come downstairs, and I made him tell me about what happened back then. We both got so emotional last night that we wouldn’t have been able to sleep if we didn’t do something like watch a movie.” You pointed out. Mingyu nodded once more before standing up.

“I really do want to go to this ball though, Mingyu. I want to meet these Monsta X people too since Seventeen is always spending so much time with them. They must be nice people too.” You said, following him out of your room.

“We’ll just have to ask the boss than.” Mingyu said with a smile.

Next...

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star-blossom · 6 years

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85 questions tag

rules: answer these 85 statements about yourself, then tag 20 people i really don’t know who tag so i’m gonna tag some random people, you do it only if you want to and even if you’re not tagged, you an do it - @qianloveclub, @softforjungwoo, @osakaprinceyutaa, @nanasboi, @renjunchokingnct

stole from @norencult

* Last…?

1. drink ─ coke (i always drink for dinner)

2. phone call ─ telepizza (okay but really, i was getting my dinner but unfortunately it didn’t work)

3. text message ─ a friend (we were talking about me listing to Avril Lavigne)

4. song you listened to ─ what the hell - avril lavigne (^^^)

5. time you cried ─ this might sounf dumb for you but it was yerterday because of renjun: i was watching to the 5th ep of 5th season of nct life (nct life entertainment retreat with nct dream) and one of their “missions” was talking about their memories and that stuff around a campfire, and their liders (SUJU’s Leeteuk and Shindong) asked renjun to send a video-letter to his family and, in the middle of that video-letter, he started crying and i’m such an emotional bitch and i literally started crying with him... you can also ask to @nanasboi because i was talking about it with him and even sent a video ahahgsjhag

* Ever…?

6. dated someone twice ─ nop, i’m not that type of person

7. kissed someone and regretted it ─ yes lmao, the person i lost my bv ahahaa

8. been cheated on ─ yes

9. lost someone special ─ yeah.. not from my family it was SHINee’s Jonghyun and, from my family, it wasn’t a person but my dog.. i miss her :(

10. been depressed ─ i don’t think so..

11. gotten drunk and thrown up ─ N O P i don’t drink okay kids :)

12. fave colors ─ blue (any shape of), pink, red, black..

* In the last year have you…

15. made new friends ─ YAS and i’m so happy i met them all!

16. fallen out of love ─ yes

17. laughed until you cried ─ A LOT AHAHAHAJ it’s so easy to makeme laugh tho

18. found out someone was talking about you ─ a lot as well, and almot all the times were bad things specially because in the morning when i’m going to school i always walk with a fucking bad bitch face and don’t talk to anyone and people like to creat lies over me lmao

19. met someone who changed you ─ hmm yes, not in bad things like drugs and that stuff but mentay you know?

20. found out who your friends are ─ unfortunatle, yes, and they’re not good people as i thought

21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list ─ yeah :v

* General

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl ─ idk ???????????

23. do you have any pets ─ yes, i have a withe cat called mingas

24. do you want to change your name ─ no, i like my name actually (daniela)

25. what did you do for your last birthday ─ i.. i don’t remember ????? OMG WHAT I DON’T REMEMBER AHAHAJHAJ

26. what time did you wake up today ─ 9am

27. what were you doing at midnight last night ─ probably talking with alo about nct

28. what is something you can’t wait for ─ i don’t have anything now that i “can’t wait for” to happen actually.. but, maybe, see my friends because i haven’t seen them for so long :(

30. what are you listening to right now ─ star blossom - doyoung feat. sejeong (gugudan) (omg i love this song so much :(()

31. have you ever talked to a person named tom ─ no hajhahjajh

32. something that’s getting on your nerves ─ when someone doesn’t let me talk and that happens a lot on my daily routine (unfortunately)

33. most visited website ─ my school blog ?

34. hair colour ─ light green and a little blonde in the middle ahsjahsga

35. long or short hair ─ medium

36. do you have a crush on someone ─ taking kim jungwoo out,no idon’t have, i’m more focused now on school tbh

37. what do you like about yourself ─ my kindness and friendliness i think

38. want any piercings? ─ yes i want, at leats, one on my mouth

39. blood type ─ idk :c

40. nicknames ─ nini (only alo can call me this!!!!), danny and compal ahdgaj compal because my last name is Silvestre (wild in english????) and we relate my name with red fruits like blackberry and things like that and smeone started to calling me compal and it stayed

41. relationship status ─ single pringle

42. zodiac ─ scorpio (best sign cof)

43. pronouns ─ she/her

44. fave tv shows ─ stranger things :) but k-dramas maybe W - two worlds, the lover, while you were sleeping, she was pretty, strog woman do bong soon, weightlifting fairy kim bok joo

45. tattoos ─ i want some and, for now, i have one (1) idea and it’s a black paw it a “Z” on it with my skin tone in memory for my death dog :(

46. right or left handed ─ right handed

47. ever had surgery ─ no

48. piercings ─ refer to #38

49. sport ─ i don’t play nothing because i’m a lazy girl

50. vacation ─ i want to visit asia in general :( mostly japan and thailand

51. trainers ─ wait what

* More general

52. eating ─ whell if its what a ate today was rice with chicken i think at lunch and rice with croquettes at dinner

53. drinking ─ coke as i said

54. i’m about to watch ─ my life ending :)))

55. waiting for ─ ending doing this and go to sleep tbh it’s getting late and i’m sleepy (it’s 1am)

56. want ─ TO SLEEP

57. get married ─ please no

58. career ─ something related to photography and, joking obviously, i told to my mom once “if everything goes wrong here, i’m going to do an audition for sm as back up dancer” and she agreed so,,,, why not? :)

* Which is better

59. hugs or kisses ─ both i just want affection ;((

60. lips or eyes ─ eyes, for sure

61. shorter or taller ─ taller or the same height

62. older or younger ─ older or the same age even i dated 2 people younger than me ahsjah

63. nice arms or stomach ─ idk, i don’t really like a muscular person

64. hookup or relationship ─ relationship

65. troublemaker or hesitant ─ team too-lazy-to-be-either (agree with ren tho,, can i call you like this?)

* Have you ever

66. kissed a stranger ─ uh yes on the cheek jahsja but not in the mouth lmao

67. drank hard liquor ─ no i DON’T DRINK

68. lost glasses ─ everythime, everywhere

69. turned someone down ─ hm... probably yeah...

70. sex on first date ─ no, please no

71. broken someone’s heart ─ yes....

72. had your heart broken ─ a lot

73. been arrested ─ no habjs

74. cried when someone died ─ hummmmmmmmm i have feelings, okay?

75. fallen for a friend ─ who never??????????????

* Do you believe in…?

76. yourself ─ uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh not as musch as i wanted to :)

77. miracles ─ eh,,

78. love at first sight ─ yes, it happened with me with jungwoo so :)))

79. santa claus ─ no :) he’s not real kids, i’m sorry

80. kiss on a first date ─ sure why not ?

81. angels ─ renjun is a walking angel on earth (OKAY IM GOING TO LET THIS HERE AND OFC I HAVE TO AGREE WITH REN)

* Other

82. best friend’s name ─ david and christianne

83. eye colour ─ vvvv dark almost black actually

84. fave movie ─ the conjuring

85. fave actor ─ am i the only one who doesn’t have a fave actor/actress????? yeah maybe

OKAY I CAN FINALLY GO TO SLEEP bye loves :)

#tag #85 questions tag #toppdogg

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artificialqueens · 5 years

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Sweets and Tea, Chapter 2// Trixya //Lin

AN: Hi guys! Lin again! Here's part 2 of Sweets and Tea! I hope y'all enjoy this chapter, and I'll hopefully have an update soon!

Trigger Warnings: None for this chapter.

“Hm?” Trixie asked her, pulling her sleeves from her hoodie down over her hands. “W-what did you,” Trixie looked around to make sure her father was around, “fuck up?” She lowered her tone as she swore.

“You didn’t message me back last night, so I assumed I had said something wrong. You read my message, and then you never replied. Was it because I changed the tone of the conversation?”

“No, you didn’t do anything wrong. I must’ve fallen asleep as I was responding or something.” It was a lame excuse, but she couldn’t tell her what actually happened.

“Oh, well, I’m glad I didn’t screw it up. Well, at least I haven’t screwed it up yet.” Katya said with a smirk. “Maybe you can reply to me sometime tonight?” She bravely asked Trixie.

Trixie felt her cheeks heat up and suspected they turned red. “Y-yeah. I have some homework to do after dance, but I should be able to reply when I finish.” Trixie fidgeted with her fingers as she looked back up at Katya. For some reason, she couldn’t help but wonder why Katya was trying to talk to her. Trixie didn’t think she was really Katya’s type, and she was straight-- at least that is what Trixie liked everyone to believe.

“You and your dedication to school,” Katya laughed. “I can wait, just text me whenever you have the time to talk. I never sleep before two a.m., so I’ll be awake. I’ll be waiting for your message Trixie.” Katya winked before turning and leaving her be.

Trixie watched as she walked out. She couldn’t help but think about messaging Katya later that night. She wanted to pull out her phone and message her right then, but she didn’t. She went about the rest of her duties: cleaning the bakery, storing the unbought pastries in the fridge, sweeping and mopping the floors, and wiping down the tables.

***

9:17pm: Hey, Katya. :) I tried not to make you wait too long, but school comes before play.

9:23pm: hi, of course youd say that. How was dance??

9:25pm: Awful! Absolutely a w f u l. We had conditioning today, and I can already tell I’m going to be sore in the morning. Anyway, how was your evening? I hope it was well.

9:27pm: barbie,, you text so proper, but i’m sorry to hear that. My night has been okay… my mom is still working but i spent time at alaska’s.

9:29pm: My dad told me that I shouldn’t use slang or improper language. He said I’d become too accustomed to it and it would cause me to use it in my day to day life. I suppose it’s just a habit now.

9:30pm: and do you listen to everything your dad tells you?

9:31pm: Yes, abide by thy father and thy mother.

9:33pm: omfg barbie, that’s from the bible!!!!

9:34pm: It is. I guess it’s the brainwashing clouding my mind.

9:35pm: is that a stab at when i voiced my opinion that religion is a form of brainwashing in chem last year?

9:36pm: It was… maybe you’re right though. Maybe it is a form of manipulation in a way. A way to get people to act the way they want them to act… do things that aren't Christian like but use the Bible to make the person feel as though they have to obey.

9:38pm: do you think you’re being manipulated

9;40pm: Oh, no. No, I don’t believe I am. I’m just saying maybe other people feel that way.

9:42pm: you sure? Im here to listen if you need it. Always

9:43pm: Why?

9:43pm: why what?

9:44pm: Why are you all of a sudden taking an interest in me?

9:45pm: because we’re friends

9:46pm: But we never texted before. I don’t want to sound rude, but I just don’t understand the want for interaction with me. When we were lab partners, you didn’t seem interested in developing a friendship with me throughout the year.

9:50pm: i dont know why. I spent a few minutes trying to figure it out, but idk… when i saw you again, I felt the need to reconnect… maybe on a more personal note? If you don’t want to have a friendship, I understand

9:52pm: I wouldn’t mind a new friend. You should text me at 802-###-####. I think it would be much easier than Instagram DM. Also, I’m going to turn my phone off now. I got in trouble last night for being on it after 10pm. Crazy how I’m 16 with a phone curfew, huh? Goodnight, Katya. :)

9:53pm: yes, it is very weird that you still have a phone curfew. I will text you in the morning and goodnight.

***

Trixie had been waiting on Katya’s message all morning. She was constantly checking her phone, causing her to get sadder and sadder every time she didn’t see a text from an unknown number.

“Beatrice, hurry up! I have a meeting for the bakery in an hour, so I need to drop you off at school early.” Her dad called from downstairs.

“I-I can walk.” She yelled. Trixie would rather walk than sit in the car with her dad. She used to love spending time with her dad, especially their car rides, but ever since her mom had passed away the car rides weren’t the same. Nothing was ever the same.

“Don’t wanna ride with me anymore?” She heard her dad’s voice get closer and turned to see him in the doorway of her bathroom. Trixie pulled her skirt down a bit more and buttoned her shirt up one more button. “You’re so beautiful, princess. You’ve grown up to be a beautiful young lady.”

“I just want to clear my head. I’m just nervous for my bible analyzation exam.” She made an excuse. “Thank you,” Trixie kept her voice low as she continued to curl her hair. “I’ll be fine, dad. I’ll send you a text message when I make it there safely.”

“Okay, princess. I’ll see you after school. Love you.” He walked over to kiss her forehead before turning away to leave.

Trixie flinched at the touch and affection before plastering on the fake smile that she always had. “Love you too.” She whispered back before sighing of relief when he exited the bathroom. A few months ago, Trixie would’ve done anything with her dad. They’d watch terrible tv shows, comedy movies, football, and dance competition shows. Now, Trixie was nervous to spend alone time with her father. He always seemed to get handsy with her if they spent more than twenty minutes together.

Trixie heard her phone ding on her countertop. She quickly picked it up and saw a message from an unknown number.

7:58am: morning trix.

7:59am: this is katya btw.

8:00am: Hi, Katya. Good morning to you as well. How are you this morning?

8:00am: tired… i just got up so that’s why i hasn’t texted earlier. what time do you have to be at school?

8:02am: My school starts at 8:00am, but I don’t have to be there until 9:00am. I don’t have a first period class. Does Riverside High still start at 9:00am?

8:03am: yes, wanna grab coffee with me? I mean i understand if you can’t or don’t want to..

8:04am: I’d love to! What time would you like to meet?

8:04am: 8:20 and at daily brew?if it isn’t close to your school, we can meet somewhere else.

8:06am: That works, it’s about a ten minute walk from my school.

8:07am: great, i’m gonna get ready and i’ll see you then

Trixie left her home at 8:10am to make her way to the coffee shop. She pulled the light pink sleeves from her crewneck over her hands in order to protect her from the air. It was only fifty degrees fahrenheit, but she didn’t like any sort of weather that is below seventy five degrees. She put her earphones in and played her current favorite songs. She softly sung along to the songs, smiling to herself as her mom’s all time favorite song began to play.

When Trixie arrived at the shop, she was starving and was also in need of caffeine. Her eyes traveled around the small shop, searching for Katya. She didn’t see anyone in the cafe except for the couple in the corner in an argument. She pulled her phone from her skirt pocket to check the time. 8:23am. She quietly sighed as she opened her text messages to text Katya. Trixie hoped she hadn’t been played or stood up by the other girl. Before she had the chance to send the message, she felt a tap on her shoulder. She quickly turned around and saw Katya. “Hi,” she smiled as she removed her earbuds.

“Hi, sorry I’m late. My shower took longer than I thought it would be.” Katya had practically ran to the coffee shop. Her hair was still drenched in water, causing the back of her shirt to become wet. Her mascara had smudged under her eyes from not being given enough time to dry. “I also probably look a mess, so once again I am sorry.”

“No, no, don’t feel bad. You look great and I just got here.” She was more concerned about Katya getting sick from the partially cold weather and wet hair. “Do you want to order and then we can sit and talk?” Trixie asked earning a nod from Katya.

#rpdr fanfiction #trixie mattel #katya zamolodchikova #trixya #high school au #sweets and tea #lin #concrit welcome #lesbian au

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thedappleddragon · 3 years

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last night I dreamed that I was an archeologist tortoise and I was looking at dozens of “human” skeletons in Buckingham palace that was also my backyard. the skeletons all looked like combo human and turtle because the whole torso looked basically like the first google image result for sea turtle skeleton. then my sister woke me up, giving me a comforter and telling me my mom need help with some things. cleaned up around the living room and did some laundry and boiled some eggs and made meatloaf and swept the floor. the meatloaf turned out surprisingly good, idk what I did differently. I evemtually went back to my room and tried to remember what I wanted to do today. last night as I was falling asleep I told myself that I was gonna clear off my desk so I could finally use it, so I moved some stuff around and set up my laptop. I havent been able to sit at a real actual desk in SO LONG and its SO NICE to have just like a space where I can sit down and work and have a chair that will support my back instead of sitting cross legged on my bed or laying down while doing stuff on my laptop. it almost makes me feel productive even I'm just playing the sims. I feel especially cool when im just typing out whatever bullshit because it makes me feel like im at an office job typing up ~important documents~ :) idk man I think quarantine has changed me lmao. if im getting this many emotions from just being able to sit down at a desk and do ANYTHING idk how im gonna handle collage. I keep calling whetever im doing (playing the sims, scrolling through Tumblr, typing up this summary of the day) work because it just. feels nice sitting at a desk and typing. even if it’s dumb bullshit!! idk how to describe it I just feel amazing. it makes me feel like im writing a paper with all the horrible parts like research and thinking. the sound of typing on my MacBook makes me feel like im in school again, but without the horrible stressful parts. idk mn I know I've been going on about this desk and stuff for too long and im gonna hate it if I eventually read back through these daily logs but I just feel so nice. ill change topics anyway. I hung up my calendar again! I literally didn't have any open wall space aside from maybe the wall behind my bed but why the hell would I put a calendar where I can't see it. instead its kind of hanging above my closet. I pinned it to the wooden board in the “doorway” (idk what other word to use) where there would normally be sliding doors that open and shut if they hadn't been taken off YEARS ago. I also played a lot of the sims 4, juggling aspirations for 5 sims. I quit because I got frustrated that all my sims are dumb and the ai Is buggy and doesn't let me do what I want them to do. I also plopped in a house on my family’s old lot and spent some time adjusting the colors and the trees and adding those paper craft cieling things that can either have stars or leaves or snowflakes that came in the free winter holiday stuff pack and holy shit as soon as I found those I think they became my new favorite decoration item. I threw them everywhere but eventually took down most of them, leaving some leaf ones in the bedroom. I was gonna move in a family of a bunch of young adults and children to help with the first kid’s serial romantic aspiration and one of the twin’s social butterfly aspiration, but I ended up not doing that in favor of just decorating more and playing with the family some more. one thing I realized while playing is that there are fucking MICE in my CIELING. well not really in the cieling, in the attic, but I can hear them chewing on shit and its sucks. I would turn on a fan to drown out the noise but my room is fucking FREEZING. I threw the blanket back over my window hoping that it would keep heat from escaping but I don't think that really did anything. so after freezing my ass off I got fed up and put on fluffy socks under normal socks, wore my owl onesie as pants over my shorts, put on my comfy (oversized hoodie), and threw a fluffy blanket over my shoulders. thankfully I was pretty cozy after that, but as I type this after taking off the cosy and blanket, I can feel my toes getting cold again. damnit. ANYWAY after quitting the sims for the night I ate some salad and got a heart shaped crouton :) and I scrolled through Tumblr for a bit. then I decided to finally work on the paws my friend wanted. but I couldn't find the pattern so I instead worked on the brown paws instead. I could only work on them so much, since I still have to finish the lining before I can do much else. I attached the backs of the fingers to the back of the hand. I didnt get much down but what matters is that I did SOMETHING. I'm gonna keep an eye out for that pattern that I need, and if I cant find it, I'll just make a new pattern. tbh I think thad’s be the better way to go anyway since I wouldn't have to figure out how the fuck the old one goes together and I can also have a pattern that perfectly fits the foam underneath. also tbh i have mixed feeling about the white paws my friend wants. I like how dextrous they are and how easily you can emote and move your fingers, but I dont like how ovular I made the paw pads and the hints of black thread peaking out where I sewed the pads from the back. I WOULD just remake them with the free curl works pattern im using for the brown paws but I figure I might as well finish this pair since there’s already one done and the foam interior is already made. whatever. I dont wanna think about it too much. I also dont like the head that goes with the paws, it was a fish job in comparison to my first head and I kinda hate it. but I think I'll eventually get some longer fur for the neck and a hair poof and cheeks (maybe) and do a little refurbishing and give it to my friend if she ever wants it, since it matches the paws and all. I have lots of plans for my 2 WIP heads but not all the materials/motivation. plus I just need to let the ideas stir before I do unything, making sure they’re goof before I act on them. I'm exited that I can shave down fur relativey easily and evenly without an electric dog shaver, which opens up a lot of opportunities. anyway as I was working on the brown paws I had TAZ on in the background and it still baffles me a little bit how different griffin and Matt mercer operate as dms like holy shit. its really funny. and it got me thinking about how I wouldn't mind dming for my friend group if he chance ever arose. I DO have the forgotten realms campaign setting book. I haven't actually looked at it but I assume it has a few pre-built quests and plot lines n stuff in it. I'll probably take a better look at in the morning when it’s not 1:40 am. dang now I'm thinking about my Minecraft dnd idea again. I think the real problem keeping me from being a dm is that I CANNOT keep a straight face when doing improv/roleplaying, so I dont know how well I could hold together a world for them to play in. I would love to give it a try tho. not with the Minecraft idea at the same time, fuck no. I would need to do like. a classic vanilla dnd experience the first time, maybe even using our tiefling family characters since I'm at least a little familiar with them. can you dm and also play your own character? is that fair? is that a think you can do? I think that could be fun but also hard to juggle and also maybe kinda suck because you’d already know all the answers to all the puzzles. meh. actually now I kind of really want to look through thet book tonight instead of in the morning. also I mentioned overnight oats a few days ago I think, and the first morning it was kinda gross, the second time I ate it was still a little gross texture wise, but I finished it off tonight and it was pretty good. maybe next time I'll try it without the banana and a little less milk and maybe slice up an apple into little cubes for texture. hell yeah peanut butter apple cinnamon brown sugar overnight oats. that sound pretty dang good actually. I'll try that some time, but I dont think I can right now because I dont think we have any apples in the house. phooey. I should also probably put this oatmeal cp in the sink before it becomes impossible to clean. holy shit how long have I been writing? SEE THE DESK MAKES ME JUST WANNA KEEP WRITING AND WRITING FOREVER I FEEL SO PRODUCTIVE EVEN IF IM NOT DOING ANYTHING PRODUCTIVE!! I love just typing and typing forever its so soothing just hearing the tapping of the keyboard and getting my thought out without actually having to think that hard about it. goddamn im never gonna read back through this this is a nightmare lmao. no paragraph breaks no capitalization no nothin. I dont even wanna stop typing even though my arm is starting to hurt a little but from leaning the edge of the desk. now im thinking about the movie soul again and the cat as it rides on the escalator to the great beyond and how that dude in the band was the main characters student and how that scene with the girl trying to quit music and then immediately changed her mind didnt make any sense. like what the hell I dont understand that scene at all. also thinking about the transition where he’s like “ok repeat after me” as he’s in the cat and the camera goes over the mom’s shoulder and it’s just him talking, I like how they did that instead of doing dialouge between him and the cat. idk man. I think maybe I should stop typing now since my body is starting to hurt. sorry for putting this H U G E wall of text on your dash but I just like typing out my thoughts :) goodnight!

edit: OH I forgot to talk about something else!! last night I was thinking about valentines day and how cute it would be to have a little overall dress in the pattern on one of my childhood blankets, its like a light pink with white hearts on it so I looked up some fabrics and none of them were the right pattern. I also looked up a sewing pattern that I think would look nice and its on sale right now! I totally want to try and make it, but fabric is expensive so I think I might look at dollar tree for fleece baby blankets because I know they have them there, I bought a few a while ago for some plush sewing projects. they’re decently sized so I think I could do it.idk how many I would need to buy tho. or I might go to goodwill and look for a pink sheet? I have a thin pink blanket that could theoretically work but I want to use a planet im not attached to. or even just find a few big shirts in the same shade of pink? then I could maybe line it with something. I have red purple and white satin but that’s literally the worst fuckin fabric in the world to work with. my first experience with sewing was trying to make plushies out of satin and holy hell idk how I did it. anyway even though I literally never wear dresses I think it would be a fun project to try and make myself a cute little valentines dress. :) I could even give myself POCKETS >:)))

#thanks for coming to my ted talk #long post #I think maybe I should tag my daily shit with something like 2021 journal? idk im lazy so we'll see #January 2021 daily #2021 daily

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