ineffabildaddy · 1 year ago
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"do u kin crowley or aziraphale" idk man they're both way too cool for me
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deakwithit · 2 months ago
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how can someone look me in the eye and tell me oswald doesnt have bpd guys pleaswe this shouldnt even be up for discussion....
i have bpd and ive never related to a character more, especially this scene
the ranting, taking everything personally (despite the context of the scene being a pretty obvious personal thing), the anger, spilling something and ed having to tell him to breathe (which, also implies this happens a lot, especially with ed's slightly annoyed tone).
in many other scenes, ESPECIALLY ones with isabella, it clearly shows him displaying traits of bpd and time n time again i see "hes crazy" or "hes a sociopath" (which makes no sense and is just ableist)
hes someone with likely multiple complex mental disorders, but bpd especially sticks out to me bc of how obvious his case is
like i was sitting there watching the isabella dilemma thinking "man hes so me" bc he was splitting just as violently as i do
and as someone with multiple complex mental disorders, i fantasize about killing people i split on too (he actually does it, i dont, but i understand it). ive had homicidal thoughts (not urges, thoughts, clear distinction guys im not gonna murder someone) about the people ive split on, ive thought about the things oswald does, though not as cartoony as some of his, considering theyre in a fictional universe.
i fully belive edward was not oswalds first fp either, his mom to me is the first who comes to mind as his attachment figure, the only person he can rely on, his favorite person but also in a way his only person. she gave him love, gave him care, gave him all he needed to survive, and oswald clung onto it.
edward gave him "love", attention, care, and after oswalds mom had been gone, he needed that. so he needed edward. boom, fp moment
we constantly see how emotionally invested oswald is in ed, how much he cares for him, how much edwards words control his emotions, and we see how he once again, violently splits on someone, but for the first time, its on the one he "replaced" his mom with.
i wqont even lie i might be lowkey headcanoning some of this maybe or making shit up cause i havent watched gotham in a long time but oswald so clearly struggles with emotional regulation and anger. its 0-100, its black and white, its night and day, he is always overcome by his emotions. the way he yells and rants with ed in the scene i shared, the way he felt learning mr penn had betrayed him, the way he felt when his mom died, the way he felt about edward, or even isabella, is so clearly the way someone w bpd, such as myself, would react.
anyway im crazy idk share ur thoughts
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tae-rhymeswithslay · 2 months ago
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TMNT: COLOR CODED Casey Jones
colorcoded au by @camilieroart
im so sorry, it doesn’t really look like him, but I tried 😭. I chose a skating pose, but it took me wayy too long to realize that none of the official drawings of Casey have him in skates, so i just followed those. I also tried to combine his normal clothes with his battle outfit bc i just couldn’t decide which one to draw him in
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I literally have SO much to say about this Casey! this little rant is probably gonna go on for way too long lol (feel free not to read)
props to @camilieroart for writing this amazing au bc ive been obsessed ever since i saw it in passing on instagram.
Casey has always been my favorite tmnt character. Ever. Hands down. There was something about him that I just adored. As a kid and even now. That being said, finding a version of Casey that was so much like me was like an early Christmas. I was already sucked in to the AU since like, last year when I found it for the first time. But I only recently read through Casey’s backstory and found out that he was korean, which only made me double down on how much I loved his character in Colorcoded.
(I really hope this next part doesn’t come off as narcissistic, its really just me full of admiration for this character and AU)
It was incredible to see a version of my favorite character like EVER (not even joking) that looked a lot like me and came from a background a lot like mine. Beyond just his skin tone being dark and matching mine (which I think I commented about already) this Casey seriously feels like looking into a mirror of myself from a few years ago. Both visually and mentally. It’s refreshing to see Korean characters that aren’t reduced to the asian standards of beauty, but still look like their ethnicity, because we absolutely DO exist. From my darker skin color to even my wide nose shape which I share with this Casey, I was told constantly as a kid (by other koreans mind you) that I didn’t ‘look korean enough’. So it’s nice to see those features that made me so insecure growing up presented in someone I admired during that same period of time. Even Casey’s hair looks so much like the cut I had/was forced to get (lol) growing up, down to the M shaped bangs. Though I wasn’t allowed to grow out my hair like Casey has in the back, it was something I always wanted to do as a kid. I even got into ice skating BECAUSE of Casey, like, I adore him so so much.
Though I’m lucky enough to have a family much healthier than Casey’s, I still found myself relating a lot to him in terms of his Korean-American identity. Growing up, my parents wanted me to learn as much English as possible as opposed to Korean, but they switched mindsets when it came to my younger sister (Yeah! i’ve also got a younger sister too, and by just EXTREME coincidence, she also has a similar sounding name Hae-in 해인) so she speaks a lot more Korean than I do. I still struggle a little bit when speaking conversational Korean, even though it’s technically my ‘first’ language lol. My family even calls me by my english name and my sister by her Korean name. I’m not sharing my legal name online, but i’ve got the same deal as Casey where I’ve got an English legal name, but also an unofficial korean name which was REALLY surprising to read, because literally none of my korean friends have the same name situation. Beyond little nit-picky things (that don’t even count as mistakes, really) in his conversations with his sister, you got the Korean conversations down really well (like, the cadence and grammar and stuff, idk how to explain it, but it really sounds like a conversation i might’ve had with my little cousins, just translated)
TLDR: i absolutely ADORE this Casey and I see just SO much of myself in him. He is wonderfully written as a character and you nailed his korean-american identity to a T (according to me and my personal experiences at least)
SORRY FOR THE RANT
:)
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horizon-verizon · 3 months ago
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This is about the show, not the book characters.
I've already expressed indifference towards this particular ship both bc Laenyra was right there AND bc I didn't feel it had the longevity I prefer in my ships. Well, something else troubles me for the integrity for this ship. Namely, Mysaria's intentions & Rhaenyra's habits (once again, this is all coming from how the show decided to write these characters!!!).
After reading this Variety article where Emma describes Mysaria and Rhaenyra's relationship thus far, it occurred to me that Rhaenyra has already done something like this before whenever Daemon has seemingly abandoned her:
First it was Criston Cole, who she slept with after Daemon left her at the brothel.
Then it is Harwin--she expressly says that Daemon abandoned her, and she's still talking about the brothel mess. It's also when he abandons her at her wedding after their whole "take me to Dragonstone to be your wife" challenege that could have been semi genuiune. Harwin was obviously a much better and longer lasting relationship than the non-one with Cole, but it is very clear that it began as a necessity, developed from proximity, she would have preferred Daemon, and the wound was still visibly sore when she met up with him again in epi7. There was still yearning on her part. Harwin, though she loved him and cared for him, was absolutely second place here.
Now Daemon has gone off to Harrenhal after the S2 epi2 argument that made no sense and Rhaenyra has no idea what Daemon has planned or if he will at all support her. She's feeling lost, unworthy, that she has lost him, and too helpless. Esp with her council and son all saying she should stay put to avoid losing the war altogether with her own death. Mysaria is also Daemon's ex...she and Mysaria both face struggles from being in a world catered towards and over-empowering men PLUS having been with Daemon. I saw another clip that included Rhaenyra saying she wanted to be a man period AND to be a man like Daemon. After Mysaria relates her story and why she thinks she can stay to support Rhaenyra--respecting her as an equal--Rhaenyra immediately reaches in for the hug, Mysaria seems to caress her neck, she kisses Mysaria. She kisses Mysaria right after she says she wants to be Daemon...is she trying to reach Daemon through Mysaria, or is she trying to "occupy" Daemon's space b/t them to borrow some of that "masculine" power? Both? IDK, I'm not sapphic or wlw.
Point is when she's feeling vulnerable, she seeks out comfort, as is her right...but it's also a pattern that the show somehow always centers around a lack of Daemon. And all her vulnerabilities and fears stem from her insecurities about her being a good ruler in the eyes of those who support her, which was men up until this point. With Mysaria, she sees someone who has faith in her being able to be a good, worthy queen, competence--what Emma has said was:
Mysaria really affects Rhaenyra’s politics. She has a powerful impact on Rhaenyra’s ability to see how a kingdom and its citizens are affected in the case of civil war. That was slightly abstract to Rhaenyra — until Mysaria somehow makes that more concrete. And I think speaks to different forms of power that, again, maybe Rhaenyra, in her eagerness for a masculine conflict-based power, sometimes overlooks. Gaining the will, and the belief of the people — I don’t know how much that was part of her political consciousness prior to Mysaria.
and Mysaria has demonstrated a sort of support she feels show!Daemon not only didn't but refused to provide. What Mysaria tells her to do, has all thus far worked.
Check, check, check, check...
Mysaria has always tried to be on the side of power. First it was Daemon, then it was Otto; though w/Daemon she hoped for it indirectly, with Daemon's protection with use of her body and with Otto she wanted to stand as more of an equal or as close as she can get to that by providing information instead. The last few episodes, however, we saw her decide to leave it all behind and preserve her life and sanity after some green burned down her home and ruined her life. We are meant to judge that Mysaria stays despite her previous plans bc she sees Rhaenyra as worthy enough to serve or bc she feels the most "equal" she has ever felt. But I wonder is what Mysaria if Mysaria still feels like she has to cater towards another "patron" not necessarily for/with sex and she is more concerned with getting an angle than a relationship. But then again, perhaps this is only a real issue for those who prefer longevity in ships? IDK.
Also, show!Rhaenyra is resembling Cersei too much with all this wishing-to-be-a-man shit. No, these were not the same "type" of women! this is what happens when you totally rewrite and dilute an original female character's pride for an audience who you think shouldn't be discomfited by a "bitchy" woman demanding her birthright because she claims it.
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10hourshift · 1 month ago
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Ok so I just remembered I wanted to make this (and also don't want it to be too long) but bear with me
Something something, I think that for a story that sure loves using eyes and the face as narrative devices it's kinda weird that meg ALWAYS keeps her bang covering her eye.
What I mean is that for a big number of characters these things (the eyes and the face) are used as a way to show different faces of the same character. Some examples from the top of my head are loon and his growth shown as him uncovering his eyes (and even if it's not becoming a new person or whatever, it's like him finally gaining courage to face the world or smth) and Cami, who always has her eyes covered, and added to that she gives a mysterious vibe to both the other characters and the audience. Who later, when we get to know her in her song, we can finally see her "true" self, and with that, her eyes. And when her "shadow eyes" appear, we can figure out that she has some struggles too (idk it's been a while since my last rewatch). (There are other minor examples, like the introduction of Fred and owynn, or when Bonnie decides to take his glasses off, but I don't want to drag this too long :p)
Because of this I wonder why it is that the series is too strict about meg's eye. The one time her eye shows up (not counting that one image of her as a kid and the bleeding eye) is in a music video (important bc only the audience sees this). This was kinda funny to me (I think ever since I saw it from the first time but ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯) bc in "no más" the song that is really about her overcoming her inner conflicts and whatnot her eye is never visible, (only at the start her bang is lifted but her eyes are closed so it doesn't count). And even after that, she doesn't have any changes in her looks. She keeps the same old hairstyle and keeps covering her eye. Even in zer0, she still has her bang, though the hairdo change is pretty cute imo, but I keep my point, WHY IS THE EYE ALWAYS COVERED???
The reason is never explicitly said, though, it's safe to assume that it has to do with her Big Past Trauma, either in a literal way (eye damaged or draws too much attention, so it's better to keep covered) or a narrative way (something related to shadows??, maybe???). So, this and the already mentioned obsession of the series to keep her eye hidden* is kinda strange to me bc it makes me wonder why it is so damn important to keep her face hidden? And also, what would need to happen for her to show her face??
*the reason I'm so persistent that is "the series" who keeps her eye hidden is bc meg is not often seen actively trying to hide her eye. But her default characteristic is her bang over like half of her face.
Tbh I don't have anything convincing enough to conclude this. As is mostly a ramble about some silly detail that bothers me a little too much. So feel free to add your thoughts if you want to, I just wanted to ramble a bit about this xd
Have an image of genderbent meg I found on the wiki for the trouble
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ca-suffit · 4 months ago
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for some thoughts on the Louis "pushing" Lestat + Armand. Should go without saying that Louis did not deserve either (though unclear if Louis or Lestat started the fight that lead to dropping like if it's true Lestat wasn't fighting back. I blame writers and confusing unreliable narrations however I digress) being dropped by Lestat or left in pain by Armand (or screwed over several times by Armand).
So anyways I want to look at the *why* Louis has this pattern that isn't because he's the abuser or bad guy or the one in the wrong. As cheesy as it is, we accept the love we think we deserve, right? Louis has always had lower self worth and has struggled with his image, who he is, especially as a vampire. he dealt with all the complex + intersections problems of being a black semi closeted gay man in the timeframe of America it was set in (20's¿) socioeconomic status, the family problems. I mean even to book!Louis he was always like straight up depressed dude. And it's the whole like people search for red flags for the thrill bc they're used to the chaos hurt and pain? I view Louis very similar. Idk you see this self sabatoging behavior with a lot of trauma+ abuse victims, and it doesn't mean they're a bad guy but often I think Fandom is the place for nuance to die lol.
But I hope they carry on and have more of Louis on the show than the books did, and I hope they continue the character growth where we can see him actually heal and like gain a sense of worth. S1 he appeared to but in reality it was mostly fabricated lies. I hope they don't waste Jacob like that. But yeah I think just on a side note of psychiatric people like are so wrapped up in why mental illness and trauma effects lestat and Armands actions but do seem to demonize and ignore how the same shit effects Louis.
"people like are so wrapped up in why mental illness and trauma effects lestat and Armands actions but do seem to demonize and ignore how the same shit effects Louis."
this is exactly the problem and then it's usually followed by ppl's antiblackness jumping out. then if anyone points that out to them, they usually double down bcuz they don't want to feel like they're racist. the thing is tho, if u always double down when things are pointed out to u, who are u ever gonna be but that person? it's uncomfortable to face ur own biases but it's the only way to overcome them. we're all raised in societies that fill our heads with all kinds of crap we have to unlearn. u *have* to unlearn it tho or else ur just replicating it forever.
stuff dies in fandom bcuz environments are created on purpose for it to be like this. look how impossible it is to even talk about race or racism here (or any fandom). this account has to be anon and rely mostly on other anon asks in order to talk about anything. the fandom stays ignorant bcuz ppl fight hard to keep it that way.
the fandom used to be all about louis and coddling louis when he was white. it's only dropped off since the show started. lestat, armand, and louis have always been the three main characters in this fandom that ppl relate to the most. suddenly louis is the only black character and usually has a lot of black fans posting meta about him aaaand....here comes the lestat and armand ppl reframing it all as "actually if u look at *their* trauma......"
and, I mean, it's *not* technically wrong. like u wrote and like the show is saying too, these cycles *are* cycles. this is real life! nobody was talking like this before tho. character's trauma histories were not dragged up as much as they are now. anne rice didn't write her stories like the show is doing so ppl are not used to critically analyzing anyone's behavior. she glossed over a lot of conflict as the books went on. taking into account most ppl read these as kids too, a lot of fans coming from the books just don't know anything but their own connection (thru trauma too, usually) to these characters, who they have seen forever as "not doing any wrong" (or doing wrong but it feels "justified" somehow or they said they did wrong so it's "fine"). then the show is saying they do a *lot* of wrong and now here we are.
for brief comments on the fight again....arguments happen and shit gets out of control v easily. no fight is a play by play of which side did what thing and who "deserved" what. there won't be a real answer to most fights like this. but for 1x5 the show has already said lestat is the one who crossed the line. that's all that matters. it's also not damning for life, especially an immortal life. ppl have a hard time understanding any of this bcuz the society's we live in don't allow for anything but punishment forever when we break social rules. that's kind of all anne rice put into her vampire society too, so again....if u come from the books, it's not gonna prep u for the show.
I also don't think S1 was mostly "fabricated lies." I don't think the IWTV book was either, the way most book ppl weirdly believe. I think that's the other part of what makes ppl uncomfortable. ur version of who u think u are is not gonna be what others always see, especially ex partners. it's just something u have to accept. ppl aren't gonna have the same perception of the same events, even for stuff u would think would be the exact same story no matter what. louis and claudia are black and lived with a white man who was family but also literally controlled everything, intentionally or by default of being a white man. everything in S1 is accurate to that relationship in that way and tbh the only reason most ppl want it to be a lie is bcuz most ppl aren't used to seeing whiteness portrayed like that. they want the black man's perspective to be revoked somehow in whatever way so they can stop feeling like they have to take it seriously. it should still be taken seriously, it was saying a lot of real shit. I also believe emphasis was prbly added but as an overall commentary on a lot of things otherwise? S1 does *not* need to be forgotten or written off for *any* reason.
idk if I covered everything I was gonna say but this is already long. ur going in the right direction tho. a lot of ppl aren't asking these questions bcuz they don't want to see louis as a person, then white fandom intentionally makes it feel like u will be attacked if u say anything "racist," so ppl are afraid to say anything, look for attacks or attack otherwise themselves first when nothing is even there. even if there's stuff here I disagree with, it's still fine to have a conversation about it and look at our different perspectives. fandom has ppl in this mindset that it's all who is right or wrong instantly, but that's not....real. this show isn't telling a story of who is right or wrong anyway but ppl's racist's perspectives def hold a different weight that needs to be examined. most ppl just don't want to.
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mochimouiemarty · 2 months ago
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I need your headcanons I don’t care which character which fandom I need headcanons because you seem awesome now give them to me /affectionate
ARGHHHH IM SORRY THAT THIS TOOK SO LONG TO ANSWER?!?!? i was drawing the pookies to go with these hcs
i jumbled all my favs together and yeah have some silly hcs (thisll prolly be rlly short, or not) not in a set order so good luck finding the characters from fandoms you know 😈/hj
CHARACTERS MENTIONED IN THIS!! Idia Shroud, Cater diamond, Mime Bomb, Weeping Clown
- Cater once played this dress up game for fun (or to make some content out of it), got some HARSH constructive criticism, never played again (person who insulted gave him advice was idia)
- Weepy often puts wax on the hair in front of his face to keep it out of his eyes while performing. (totally not based on an oc x canon thing i thought of.)
- Mime Bomb often has makeup residue around his eyes, making him look more tired than he already is. He struggles to get it out and also doesnt see the point bcs 9 times out of 10 hes gonna be hopping on another flight anyway!!!!
- Idia is half filipino. dont try and change my mind YOU CANNOT
- Cater has freckles and used to cover them up around highschool - year one in NRC. maybe because of insecurity or to follow the current "trends". maybe both!!!!!1!1!1!1! probably still does it to this even better if no one actually knows if his freckles are real or nah
- Mime Bomb knows how to draw! always uses himself as a reference when he can. loves drawing hands
- weepy is a jack of all trades, master of none. he'd observe and learn other peoples crafts silently from other people at the circus! even if he's not that good at most of them, he knows the basic stuff.. maybe.
- Cater often puts white eyeliner on to brighten up his eyes!!
- i think idia likes watching those process videos on sculpting and carving, just traditional art in general.
- cater probably likes to deconstruct a bunch of stuff, mainly content-making related things and especially music! I saw someone mention how passionate he seems about music based on the details in his room (might sound like a total idiot rn if those details were disclosed in one of the vignettes or something) so in my heart it seems like something he'd totes do. he's also a very detail oriented person so !1!1!1!1!1
- Joker dislikes popcorn, also smells like stale buttered popcorn(/hj)
- mime bombs skin is either hella sensitive or the complete opposite. I can see him either hoarding this one brand of makeup cuz it's the only one he can use, or his skin is THAT ok with any product that he's fine with using VILE products 😭
- I like to believe that Jokers hair is either a wig (or he dyed it) and he's a brunette. or he's just silly like that yk (the most likely possibility)
- Cater has an old list of piercings he wanted/wants, idk which ones he'd want but yuh!!! maybe he got a piercing when he was younger but got caught soooo
- Idia hates oily foods
this is probably it
also have the drawings that took TOO DAMN LONG.
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"one is not like the other!!!!!" ahh favs 😭🙏
these are sort of my hcs on how they'd look? or at least a reference for myself for when I draw them again, I'm too inconsistent
random, but idias hair being so expressive is my most favorite detail about his character
I APOLOGIZE FOR ANY SPELLINV MISTAKES
ok these took too long thank you bye
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nestastits · 3 months ago
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Relatively new to the fandom and ive been spam rbing your posts but idk im just heartened to see another nesta stan that doesnt think she was better off on her own at the beginning of acosf. Like...the girl was on a straight road to the grave and most people dont..see that? Idk as a survivor/recovering addict it makes it hard to interact with the fandom bc of that kind of thinking/posts. Its rly harmful to survivors as well as people in the middle of that-- ANYWAYS keep doing you bookie im glad i found your blog mwah <333
🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🥹
As someone who has struggled with depression/self hatred and a eating disorder, I can heavily relate to Nesta. The people around me pushed me to do better for myself and I feel like that is what the people around Nesta did. Coddling wouldn’t of worked on me. Coddling 99% of the time does not work on people who struggle from drug and or alcohol addiction either. Coddling would not of worked on Nesta. Neither would have leaving her in that apartment, she was only deteriorating and I’m tired of people saying she would of gotten better if left alone. No she wouldn’t have. She didn’t in the year they stayed out of her life in that apartment. She just got worse and worse. 
I am a firm believer that the intervention the ic did was right, just not handled correctly. But you have to also consider Nesta is a stubborn person who at the beginning of acosf did not want help out of self hatred. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to get better, it was that she hated herself enough to think she deserved nothing. And she thought no one else wanted her to get better either. I as a Nesta can read her book and relate to not only her but the characters around her too. I know what it’s like to be Nesta and I know what it’s like to be Cassian wanting to help someone he loves but not always knowing how.
I do think the double standards and hypocrisy that flow in a lot of this fandom are inconsiderate of people who are actually like Nesta or have struggled with addiction. There are people who have struggled with addiction who relate to Nesta and then the antis constantly spew out how what the Ic did was wrong and Nesta was living her life in her apartment. It just confuses me? Then the ones who claim the ic were abusive to Nesta or that Nesta is abusive still anger me to a high level 🙄. But I guess interpretation is up to anyone? If you agree with my interpretation of the books, then I’d love to have you here! It’s always comforting to see someone else who has gone through what Nesta did and understands the depths and importance of what happened in her story without toxicity.
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captain-hen · 10 months ago
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"eddie is completely inept at all household duties and buck has to step in to make sure chris doesn't starve" I see this one all the time and it's one of the weirdest takes in this fandom. idk why people want to make eddie incompetent in order to prop up buck as chris's dad when the whole reason why their family dynamic is so charming is bc chris has two dads, he's got two people that love him so much that they'd go to the ends of the earth for him. it's not buck needing to save chris from his useless bio dad, it's a family built on love and care.
while I don't blame people for focusing more on buck and chris in fanon because canon gives us way more of eddie and chris (and also i think the fact that buck & chris are found family and not blood related is a big factor in why people are so attached to them, kinda like bobby and may vs. michael and may except that eddie is a bigger character than michael), imo ignoring how good of a dad eddie is and trying to diminish the way that eddie puts all of himself into his love for chris is sad and just tells me that you don't care about eddie as a character and just see him as buck's love interest at best.
mhm i've always said that a good portion of the fandom only sees eddie as a love interest for buck, and the way they interpret the buck/chris dynamic is a really good example of that. like, it's one thing to say that eddie understandably struggles to balance work and being a single dad, and buck sometimes steps in to make it easier for him...and it's a completely different thing to act like buck is some 1940s housewife who is just picking up after eddie and always watching his kid while eddie is off doing god knows what. whenever a new potential love interest is introduced for eddie, i keep seeing posts like "imagine buck watching chris and cleaning eddie's house while eddie goes off on dates" i have seen SO many posts like this and it's not even true to canon!! it's so annoying! like just say you hate eddie as a character and go lol
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moonstruckme · 6 months ago
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Oh babe I read your post about graduation and life after. I FEEL YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!! I’m graduating Friday and I pursued a film degree in a city with little to no opportunities for that industry. Don’t know why I did that. Sorry to my parents who sacrificed a lot to put me through school. Moving to a bigger city is not an option bc I can’t afford it. Might be moving back in with my parents might not be. Everyone is asking whats next for me. Girl idk. I’m stressed I’m anxious. I hate it here. The real world sucks and I just want to skip over all this character building stuff and get to the part of my life where I’m happy with a career and can actually afford groceries. Sometimes I wish my dreams weren’t as big.
Hi gorgeous! First of all, I'm so sorry you feel that way. I promise your degree has value whether you feel like you can get a job out of it right away or not, and I won't pretend to know how your parents feel but I doubt they would have sacrified anything if they didn't feel your education was worthwhile. Graduating from college is a big deal nonetheless ! We both know I'm struggling with this too but I have some pieces of advice that have been given to me and I've found helpful if you want them <3
Obviously, "almost no one works in something related to their degree" is a really disheartening thing to hear, and I bet you've been hearing it (like I have) a lot lately. But what I think the people who say that are trying to convey is that there is no shame in just doing a job that makes some money (and preferably also makes you happy), and sometimes that financial security can help you pursue your dreams with a bit more surety since you're no longer trying to find a way to eat at the same time.
A few months ago, I talked to my mom about how guilty I feel about potentially not being able to get a job relevant to my degree after she helped put me through college, and while I know not all parents feel the same way about this, I think she made some great points. She said that college is about learning how to think, and your education and the experiences you've had in college will always be valuable no matter what job you end up with. And did you have a good time? Did you like learning all those things you did about film? Did you meet some cool friends, or get to talk about your interests with people who get it? If so, none of it was wasted.
It's so, so easy to feel pressure from others when you're trying to figure out your life post-grad, but in my experience most of that pressure is really internal. People ask what's next for you because they're interested, not becuase they have any one specific path in mind, and the vast majority of the time if you seem happy, they're happy. If you're not happy, fuck it! Then your priority should probably be getting to a place where you are happy, and those conversations really don't matter when you've got bigger fish to fry.
Last thing, but as someone also struggling to re-orient herself in her life plan, I've been taking a lot of time to figure out my priorities. I kind of got stuck in this idea of what my life was going to be, and once that seemed less certain I started questioning what I wanted if I didn't have to do that. I'm making a pinterest board (always my first course of action haha), and it's helped me figure out that whatever I do, I want to be around nature and books, and to live in a mid-size city. Figuring out what I need to be happy has really put things into perspective for me, and I'm sorry I don't mean to assume we're in the exact same mental state but I just want to give you all the stuff that's been working for me in case any of it fits into your situation too.
You can still use your passion in film while working another job, or use that job to save to move to a larger city, or maybe even reflect and find that you're content keeping the film thing as a hobby and there's something else you enjoy doing for a career (I know how heartbreaking that can sound when you love something, but that's how writing has turned out for me so I just wanted to put it out there--feel free to reject it of course). For me, trying to open my mind to all the possibilities and re-evaluate what I want from the next few years has been super scary but also kind of exciting, and I hope that whatever happens for you you're able to find happiness in the big and little things. Wishing you all the best my love!
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yanyanderes · 2 years ago
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Hi I really enjoyed reading your Yandere April headcannons, and I was wondering do you think you would do one for the turtles or maybe your fave villain ? If not no worries ✌️
hhh i’m in a villain mood rn, and i already have some draxum stuff planned, so i’ll go ahead and write for big mama bc i haven’t seen anything for her so far.
these are mostly written to be parental/platonic bc idk how to write the villains romantically.
- big mama loooves giving (y/n) cute bug-related nicknames. bugaboo, cuddle-bug, buzzy-bee, oh such a cute little one they are, having flown into her web!
- she enjoys holding (y/n), especially after a long and hard day of the turtles’ meddling. and if they try to struggle against her, she can always tie them up! they look so adorable, wrapped in her webs like a blanket!
- if you couldn’t tell, big mama babies (y/n) a lot. it doesn’t matter how old they are. if they’re an adult, no they aren’t because big mama said so ❤️❤️
- loves looking over the battle nexus with them. if they’re rooting for someone or wants someone to win, she’ll purposefully rig the game in their favor
- big mama loves showing (y/n) off to anyone and everyone. she could be in the middle of a business meeting and then suddenly she’ll be cooing about how adorable her little (y/n) is
- anyone who tries to slander (y/n)’s name is thrown into the middle of the battle nexus, no exceptions, no questions asked
that’s about it rn. i still adore writing for the main cast, but it’s nice to give the side characters and villains some love
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yvqip · 9 months ago
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Another rant abt gojo bc yeah except this time its of the moral greyness of his character
‼️slight spoiler warning‼️for ppl who haven’t read the manga
In my last post abt gojo i was talking about his parallels to jesus but ONLY in the aspect of having to suffer for others as a sort of ‘duty’ and their relations to divinity. While yes, gojo did care for his students, riko, suguru, and his friends/coworkers and wanted to protect them, protecting others wasn’t why he was a sorcerer- he even said it himself multiple times that protecting the weak was tiring and that you can only save those ready to be saved- like in the Shibuya arc where he doesn’t hesitate to kill all those mutilated humans whereas someone like Yuuji would’ve struggled to decide what to do in that situation. I always characterized him as some sort of ‘hero’ because of the way he took in yuta, yuuji, and megumi and cared for the rest of his students which isn’t exactly wrong but it’s not completely right. The reason he did all of it was so he could help the next generation become as strong as him or as close as possible so that 1. He wouldn’t be alone at the top 2. To transform the world of Jujutsu and 3. So that the kids’ youth isn’t taken away from them (obv trauma comes with the job but it’s more about preventing unnecessary tragedies like the higher ups sending weaker sorcerers to handle curses that they aren’t ready for). His morals are more self centered as he uses Jujutsu more for self gratification than protecting the weak. Idk if ppl would agree w me on this but it’s been confirmed in the manga panel where he’s speaking with suguru and nanami in the afterlife ->
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while gojo’s goals/intentions weren’t inherently selfish they weren’t for a heroic cause, his morals were based on his own emotions and self interests unlike geto whose morals were based on the institutional belief that sorcerers should protect the weak because they’re the strong but unfortunately his morals were founded in his faith within jujutsu society hence the reason why his morals weakened in correspondence to his faith in the institution. Although that’s why I think gojo is a good example of one of the most apparent philosophies in jjk which is, ‘do what has to be done’. This doesn’t mean i dont love when ppl characterize him as sweet and silly and clingy tho!! I adore it and think it really is a part of who he is just buried under the trauma and pressure, i imagine he’d be a lot more like that in another world where jujutsu sorcery didn’t exist! he deserves sm better </3
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deathsbestgirl · 1 year ago
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Oooh, saw your tags and now I'm curious! What are the differences between my thoughts on Never Again and yours? Always open to hearing other opinions-- helps me clarify my own or add to them. :DDDDD
okay like i told you this is just going to be funny now. first because where i diverge really seems kind of insignificant to me, because it doesn't change any of your points or the ~outcome of how i think about never again as a whole. or really, t's about the evolution of scully's position, so it isn't different? second, because i literally need to shout about one specific part. it's so real. so anyway, onward.
the referenced post. most important part quoted below, but read the whole post bc it's good!! (and i really don't know much about the bts or writers but it's cool to learn about!!)
so specifically this is what you say in the context of never again. you lay it out simply and perfectly.
As much as Scully denies her actions aren't "about you" to Mulder, Never Again isn't solely about daddy issues or feeling trapped-- it's feeling trapped by being second best. Romance was explicitly written into the dna of this episode: she takes the rose from the grave-- someone's lasting legacy on their loved one's life-- extrapolates meaning from it behind Mulder's desk, and deflates when Mulder runs off to his vacation that even he rates as secondary to his quest (Mulder missed her entire point: needing his reassurance and reinforcement, needing his speech in the FTF hallway; and Scully missed that he missed it.) When she meets Jerse, she's flattered by his sole focus on her, takes his card, but still plans to leave; Mulder has been calling, but when he reconnects and hides the fact he missed her behind "how's the quest going?", it kicks Scully in the shins and she decides to change plans and meet up with Ed. "The tattoo you deserve" and one night stand with Ed drags down Scully's view of herself, in hindsight-- how did she not see that he was psychotic?-- and the final scene in the basement is tinted with second guesses of her own character: more specifically, what Scully thinks she has the right to ask from Mulder, doubting her own judgment (a theme she continually struggles with throughout the series.) If she sits and remains in the basement, Scully has to accept that Mulder won't move them forward; and she does, choosing to be Starbuck to this (in her perspective) doomed (relation)ship because at least Mulder needs her... which is why The End and Fight the Future hit her so hard, convincing her she has no use in his life, period.
obviously we agree that mulder doesn't get it from the start. you nail what hurts scully perfectly, what she needs from him. i truly think scully could wait forever as long as she knows they're on the same page. and here, she isn't.
but specifically, the part i want to shout about: the bit about scully's judgment, and what she can ask of mulder. like YES. i just don't think i've seen anyone say this and you're just right. you're so right. how often do we see scully struggle with her judgment? i think she does when diana shows up and it's part of the reason she needs mulder to trust her judgment in those circumstances. there are so few times that scully is SO sure about what's happening. she tries so hard to be rational, the voice of reason. but it's like her desire scares her, and i think that's a lot of what's happening in never again. because what can she ask of mulder? especially when it looks to her like he doesn't want her, doesn't need her, doesn't trust her with the x files. why is she there at all?
now, me being nitpicky? idk really. "it's feeling trapped by being second best." i think this is right. it's just that. at first, she was okay with this. because they were partners, the x files are his life. she thought she understood this and accepted it. at the beginning in season one, of course she did! they didn't have a personal relationship yet. everything was all about the work, and in never again, it's all about them with the work shrouding their relationship. scully definitely thinks they have something and she thinks they might be on the same page, but he seems to confirm the opposite. it's just work and there isn't really room for her, or a personal relationship. so she is absolutely reconciling if she can keep on this way. if the work and following mulder and being what he needs is enough...if she even has a choice. and she does, and reconciling her choice to stay with what she wants is the struggle.
so really?? i don't disagree. i just wanted to talk about how being second best became a concern the longer she was on the x files, the more her feelings grew (or maybe the more she recognized them), her feelings scaring her and what they mean for mulder & the x files & her life, etc etc.
SO all of that to say, i actually agree with you. i just love the slow evolution and consistency of their characters & relationship <3 now please share your thoughts on my nonsense!!
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kiichxko · 2 years ago
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UNLOCK IT!
Bllk boys playing genshin!
Warnings: some quest spoilers for genshin
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ISAGI YOICHI (潔 世一)
He's the very rare traveler main! Specifically aether
Mainly uses electro or dendro aether for the elemental reactions
He doesn't understand why people don't use traveler a lot, he thinks being able to switch elements at will is very useful and versatile
SUCKS at dodging, he literally depends on his zhongli's shield to keep him alive
Speaking of zhongli, he lost his 50/50 to keqing on his banner, homeboy later spent hours grinding for primos, he deadass refuses to whale at all
He also might have sacrificed keqing at qingyun peak multiple times
Luckily, the peepaw came home after 30 more pulls
He's pretty netural when it comes to co-op, so long as you don't take his materials without permission (bachira is an exception)
He LOVES the new TCG event, he's got all the character cards and won nearly every single match in a span of a week
He also does co-op challenges with the others, they range from waverider races to stuff like "who dies first while fighting _____" competitions or "beat azdaha without a shield or healing" challenge
Bachira came up with the last one specifically for him
Low key hates fighting the cryo cube, the fruits you gotta hit to break the shield are a pain in the ass (i'm not self-projecting here i swear)
BACHIRA MEGURU (蜂楽 廻)
A hutao and yoimiya main!
He enjoys looking at yoimiya's idle animations and spams her normal attacks just so he could see her do those little flips
Probably learned hu tao's dance and song by heart so every now and then while playing he'll go:
“大丘丘病了,二丘丘瞧~”
“三丘丘采药,四丘丘熬~”
He plays in CN dub but with JP subtitles
Still messes up a little on the pinyin pronouncination but he's trying
He also relates to hu tao since they were both considered weirdos by everyone (bachira's hu tao kinnie era guys)
Has considered cosplaying a character before
Loves exploring! Has every area at 100% exploration rate and all statues at level 10 somehow??
Always forgets that he's a pyro main and that grass exists so he basically almost dies standing on burning grass (can someone please get him a healer or a shield.)
Trolls other people in co-op by doing shit like the "disco disco party party" thing or using jean to yeet people
But other than that, he's actually very helpful with exploring and finding chests
Also steals materials from isagi
Sometimes forgets how to glide and ends up dying from fall damage (me too bachira me too)
CHIGIRI HYOMA (千切 豹馬)
Ningguang main chigiri ningguang main chigiri ningguang main chigiri-
He first got her on the beginner's banner she's been on his team ever since, definitely has her c6
You can't tell me that he wouldn't decorate his teapot bc he WOULD
And it's decorated so nicely too, he's even got a whole area dedicated to the animals he caught
Started playing after bachira said the landscapes were pretty but then he got invested into the lore (he watches those genshin theory videos too)
Enjoys taking photos of the landscapes and his characters, he once accidentally clicked on his diluc's skill while taking a photo and proceeded to laugh at how cursed it looked
Doesn't like solving the puzzles in inazuma and enkanomiya tho so he just google searches the solutions
Randomly makes cracked theories about khaen'riah, it happens so often no one can tell if he's being serious or not
Absolutely hates paimon's voice, he'll throw off his headphones whenever paimon starts talking and go "stfu paimon" like calm down
HATES the spectors with all his heart
He also likes collecting items in the open world, has over 2k of each of them
Might have spent a bit of money on welkin but that's as far as he'll go
Idk why but he strikes me as the type to mainly use bow or catalyst users bc of the range
Is very good at aiming and dodging, has laughed at isagi struggling while they were fighting azdaha
KUNIGAMI RENSUKE (國神 錬介)
The man somehow got a qiqi on the beginner's banner, he read her backstory, felt bad, and decided to main her
And no, his qiqi is not a healer or support, she's a full blown physical DPS
And her build is no joke either, he once made her do 200k damage while fighting the new scaramouche boss like kunigami wtf are you feeding her??
If there's a boss you can't beat, just call him to co-op and his zombie child will carry
Is another lore invester
Chigiri once sent him a video explaining enkanomiya lore and they later spent hours discussing about it
Got emotional at the tsurumi island and kazari quest, maybe at the dainsleif chasm quest too
Also levels up all his character's friendship to 10 to get their name cards
Has read all of his character's stories out of boredom
Completed ALL of his world quests, doesn't skip the dialogue in case he misses something important
Does hangout quests, beidou was his favourite one
Can never see hilichurls the same anymore after the chasm archon quest, all this time he's been killing cursed, innocent people? He feels so guilty
His luck when it comes to the gacha is literally phenomenal, the guy has never lost a 50/50 in his life
He's very skilled at controling his waverider and comes out at the top during waverider races
He's also good in fishing too, he manages to always stay within the moving bar
He plays spiral abyss often and would have 36 stars if it weren't for the last few floors being such a pain in the ass
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modpoppy · 10 months ago
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favs from all my fandoms (new and old)
some of my favs from each fandom ive been in like ever
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genshin impact: my fav of all time kaeya alberich i love him Very Much So, hes just one of those characters who its like. UGH. where he just wants to be sweet but cant let himself get too comfortable where he is (literally in his case). i also relate to him irt my relationship with my family/sibling. hes just constantly aware of other people both to be cautious and to know the people he cares about more, hes been shown canonically to pay close attention and provide gifts that he knew people wanted
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runner up is ZHONGLI i related to him very much but i fogrgt why rn lol
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kingdom hearts: xion, not for very long but right around when i was finally actualizing my gender identity (id previously been very agender/masc) i rlly took to xion for like. Gender Inspo. i felt like even tho she got the short end of the stick she did her damndest to forge her own identity (roxas got his whole game and arc about it while xion bascially got fridged but its fine). when i finally let myself consider who i would be as a fem person, i pictured her :D
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one piece: sanji!! i already sorta liked him (okay maybe not in fishman island or thriller bark. that was. shit.) before heading into whole cake but. lord almighty. lemme tell ya i dont cry very easily over anime but whole cake took me OUT. sanji just tries so hard to be someone who doesnt cause the problems, hes cringe fail but he tries so hard to just be ALLOWED to exist bc hes fought so hard to believe he SHOULD uugggghhhhhhhhhhh. irt the straw hats i think he has some of the most unique and fleshed out philosophies (not wasting food) that his backstory perfectly contextualizes. also im on board with trans fem sanji
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runner up is YAMATO he is so beautiful AND hes a kinnie whats not to love im just mad hes not in the straw hats (yet)
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total drama: svetlana this was legit the only gif i could find of her on here. i dont need to explain myself svetlana sweep 🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️
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jjba: doppio/diavolo its FINE it COUNTS but technically 90% just doppio..... back in 2021(?) i dyed my hair like diavolo (pink with green spots) i feel like thats. all i need to say
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ace attorney: to the surprise of absolutely no one THE PHANTOM ive just always attached to the whole. Not Being thing. in the past i struggled rlly hard with depersonalization/derealization/dissociation/basically every manifestation of the phantom, so id connect to them (which i dont think helped lol). nowadays, i focus rlly hard on the idea of the phantoms semi-redemption bc its like... being a person not being a required prerequisite to existing/being in society if that makes sense???? its complicated and probably only makes sense to me :P
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runner up is obviously UENDO+ i love them all tell no one but i think kisegawa is my fav i wish she got more lines i actually only watched soj for them bc at the time everyone said the game was literal ass
(dw athena is in close third place shes literally my daughter)
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rvb: if you asked me while i was a fan id probably say agent maine but in retrospect grif was clearly my fav, especially later in the show when he was one of the few leads who had a genuine character arc. he feels the most like a real person idk man
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silent hill: every fucking gif of henry is him busting his ass thats all that needs be said
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danganronpa: i changed favs very often bc i had zero idea what constituted well written characters lmao i have ~eclectic tastes~ but the main character i rlly liked was touko/syo, her arc in despair sisters afairc was decently well done and her relationship with komaru was sweet, even if dr is kinda an inescapable grease fire. in hindsight, i think i also related more to her than i realized bc of her self esteem and the way her trauma/phobias seemingly blocked her from basic self care/socialization but it was really more about her never having the courage to push her own boundaries (idk how well thats shown in the game but that was my experience)
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runner up: korekiyo bc i liked him a lot for longer than most othr characters but afairc my perception of him was VERY heavily based on headcanons/fanon so i doubt id like him at all on a replay. best guess is id only maybe like shuichi or something. pretty much everyone in dr is an asshole tbh i cannot emphasize enough how ass my taste used to be my ability to pick characters i like boiled down to someone telling me a character was cool and i immedaitely absorbed them
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pjo: okay so this bitch is in a book so ofc theres no gif for him but jason grace is the funniest motherfucker on the earth. half the time id say something out loud while reading and hed immediately say that exact thing. absolutely exquisite. bro had no idea what the fuck anyone was saying half the time
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twst: i started playing for ruggie but immediately deuce also proved to be the funniest motherfucker ever i dont think ive ever seen his gimmick in anything else its so fucking funny i live for characters who seem like the straight man but then turn out to be equally as batshit as their peers (i stopped playing bc i had been misinformed and thought this was a college but these are HIGH SCHOOLERS why am i being isekaid into HIGH SCHOOL WTF)
now for some misc favs bc theres not really a fandom for them per se
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i love him and he is me
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oh my god and i found a gif of my favorite scene i love steven i also want to . attack him sometimes
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wardingshout · 2 months ago
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your ALTTP drawings are so cool <3333 and your artstyle looks awesome!
What are 3 things that inspire you to draw?
thank you so much I'm so excited to hear people like them !!! ;v; I have sooo many things I want to draw that are super challenging for me right but I hope I can get to do all of them at some point !!!!
I feel like it's almost hard to narrow smth down to 3 things bc So many things inspire me to draw ! (my struggle is more so in motivation and energy department I guess)
I ended up typing a lot bc I got excited but I think these 3 are my biggest ones !
1) Nostalgia! especially when felt from environments around me or in little random moments! I always end up with a bunch of random photos of like environments or buildings or the clouds on my phone bc I felt a certain way in a certain moment and while my memory is pretty bad, snapping that photo usually helps me revisit that moment even if it may have been on some random day! and while not rly related to feeling there's also always smth fun to see around like the shape of a tree or the way shadows fall or colours ! maybe it's more about general vibes than nostalgia hmm...
I definitely don't draw environments as often as I'd like to and even when I do I haven't posted much but even so it's smth that fills me with a want to draw! to try and also bring out that kind of nostalgia or warmth !
I want to do more edgy dramatic stuff too but trying to make warm feelings has too strong a grip on me haha
2) Video games a lot a lot !! and other media too!! I absolutely love creating fanworks, I'm just a nerd and I want to share and show my love for stuff !!
video games are especially fun bc I already get to spend my time in x world and depending on what game it is that either means being bombarded with interesting visuals, fun little moments to recreate or for visually "simpler" games you get to imagine it in a 3d space all on your own and I love that ! like right now of course I'm losing my mind over alttp but in the past, games like Yume Nikki (and fangames), older pokemon games and Star Stealing Prince have had this exact effect on me too !
for a little add on I wanna say I used to worry a lot about accuracy and it could make fanworks pretty intimidating but one of my friends (shoutout to Cai) said smth earlier this year that I cannot for the life of me remember right now But it completely changed my mindset to instead be like. it's more important to make up my own interpretation of stuff rather than make sure everyone agrees it's accurate right? I can't even remember it right now but it completely changed the way I played games since like Bloodborne and Zeldas bc rather than worry about getting things instantly Right in my brain I would discover little lore pieces at my own time and instead try to put stuff together in my own way and idk games have been infinitely more fun since And it's inspiration machine to me !!
3) and most of all other people's art !!!! I could spend days browsing the internet just looking at all the amazing things people make and it's so contagious to me ! even if I couldn't ever create the kinds of things I enjoy seeing myself I can't help but feel so inspired and motivated to create something too no matter how it ends up!
creating an inspiration folder for myself that's full of just Anything like environments and character art and photos and colour schemes has been on of the best things I've done for myself! I rarely look at other stuff When I draw (for worse imo, like I rly need to get better at referencing) but if I ever feel stuck I can look through that and almost instantly find smth that kicks me in gear ! sometimes I see art and it's amazing and impressive and sometimes I see it and just think "man that looks like it was so Fun I want to have fun too!" and both work perfectly for me! :D
anyway uuuuh take pictures of nice things and save cool stuff there's always smth to be inspired by in little things! here's a little collection of random photos of my own from the past year that make me happy and also go !!!!!! (not a lot of city stuff tho bc usually ppl are on those )
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I ended up going through my camera roll and it was so hard to pick stuff bc everything made me go !!! ocean and buildings are the big themes tho only one shows here haha
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