#idk if I explained that well but hopefully yall get the idea

[chisatowo]

Risa has been designed!! Here's a sketchy ref I made for them that still took me like an hour to draw anyways lol

[yuriyuruandyuraart]

ah well gosh hi???

in what i said was gonna be a one day break from, well, life tbh, i seemingly realized that i don't just have school coming SOON, but that i wasn't prepared to wake up at 2pm to find out i only have a few days left of total free time not spent struggling and stressing out over exams of all things

so like any average person i went and made plans with friends to hang out and get my mind off of everything- and while it was good while it lasted, i really wanted to be, yknow, clear

i have artworks at the ready, and if i ever become desperate enough to start getting a hang on drawing with a mouse all the time i might as well, but as things stand i really do not know what the heck i am doing-

i'll try my hardest to at least look for a way to fix the pen cause that's just the most important and expensive part of the damaged stuff, but i'm thinking the cable is perma-broke so i'll have to look for a way to replace it

to cut right to the chase: i have some art i can post. but i dunno when, if, or which to post because most of them have some context that i would've normally been all too eager to explain, but as things stand? man i don't think i could muster the energy to try

so? i dunno yall- i mean i could start writing again? i've entertained the idea long enough and this might be just the opportunity to finally get some practice without getting distracted by drawing :'D

i could do small stuff with a mouse if i feel like sharing some art, but the illustrations? i feel like i can only post those once i feel a bit more alive mentally and physically to interact with others without feeling so drained all the time (but knowing that school's coming, i can't really promise anything :'))

thanks a lot for the sweet words and patience guys- it means a lot that you won't immediately, idk, ditch this blog once you realize i might not post much if not at all (hopefully not gosh) for an undetermined amount of time? you really made me realize this wasn't as bad as my mind's been pushing me to think,

so trust me i WILL bounce back and reblog stuff and have entire essays in your tags eventually- i just need to stop feeling like it has to be today, or tomorrow, or any days afterwards, just that it will happen when i feel like it<3

[the-writer-ofthe-fandoms]

Emergency Visits (Bucky Barnes)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader

Words: 4.5k+

Warning(s): SMUT! Oral (Reader recieving), fingering, penetration, fluff!!! (Cringe warning too)

A/N: HONESTLY, idk why i had the courage to write smut but I did. THE ORIGINAL ONE-SHOT WASN’T SUPPOSED TO HAVE SMUT LMFAO also yall know I am a sucker for crossovers SOOO the timelime for TFATWS is off in this because Frank Castle is in here and I wrote most of this before episode 5 <3 

Summary: Bucky, Sam, and Zemo need a place to lay low in while in the States and you're their most trusted person they know. What was not predicted was your vigilante friend needing medical help that same night. 

--------------------------------------------

You were a former Avenger. You were highly trained in combat but your purpose was to help any wounded comrade or citizen when you and the team were called in. The fighting days were pretty much over for you after the last battle with Thanos. You still used your medical knowledge to work at the different hospitals in New York City and helped Matt Murdock or Frank Castle with any wounds. Rarely you'd help with some vigilante work, but you rather sit out and keep to a less violent life.

You were mindless watching whatever Netflix suggested to you on a breezy night in your humble apartment in New York. It has been a rather boring few nights for you compared to more hectic ones, given your vigilante friends weren't getting as hurt as usual and didn't need discreet medical care.

Your cellphone ringing next to you snapped your attention away from your binging of a John Mulaney  stand up show (good choice Netflix). You looked at the caller idea and swore your heart fluttered ever so slightly.

James Buchanan Barnes was calling.

You had spent many months in Wakanda with him as Shuri worked tirelessly to get rid of Hydras grasp on his mind. Your main focus was learning new information on medicine but you always made sure to visit Bucky. You both got pretty close... Light touches, lingering hugs, and often staring at each other when the other wasn't looking became a commonality. It was obvious feelings of love were blossoming for you, but you weren't fully sure if he felt the same.

After the battle you both stayed in contact, but he decided to reside in D.C. while you laid roots back in the familiarity of New York. You both made sure to visit each when possible, but it had been about a month and a half since you last saw him.

"Hey, Buck." You smiled, answering his call. "It's been a few days, usually you make sure to call every other night. Are you okay?"

"I..." You heard him sigh, making you sit up straight.  "I need a favor, doll."

"Of course, you know I would do practically anything for you."

"That applies to me too right?" You heard Sam in the background, making you chuckle.

"Yes, it does Sam. How are you?"

"I've been better, these past few days have been rough but I'll let Stare-a-tron explain it to you." You heard a wack and an 'ow' come from Sam.

"So..." Bucky started but didn't continue.

"So...?"

"So, have you paid any attention to the news regarding Munich?"

"I have now connected the dots."

"What?"

"You broke a certain terrorist out of jail didn't you, James." You groan. When you saw the news about Zemo you couldn't possibly connect it to Buck and Sam, but with this call and a need of a favor instantly made you realize.

"Technically, (Y/N), he broke himself out."

"Do I need to slap some sense into you? He killed King  T'Chaka. He broke up the Avengers--"

"I know, I know." You heard him sigh. You listened in closer and heard some background traffic noise that sounded like the streets of New York. "Listen, we need a place to lay low for a bit in the States and your the only person I can one-hundred percent trust. I can't tell you more on the phone but please-"

"Yes, yes of course Buck. You guys, well minus Zemo, are welcomed here for whatever reason. Do you need me to text you the address?"

"Nah, we are actually about to enter your apartment building."

"Well hurry up so we can decide on take out." You chuckled and hung up the phone. You only had to wait a few minutes before you heard knocking at your door. Wasting no time you opened the door as fast as you can and practically tackle Bucky into a hug.

He chuckled gently, "I missed you too, doll."

You released him from your hold and grinned as Sam. "Come here Sam, I haven't seen you in a few months." You pulled him into a less dramatic but friendly hug.

"Good to see you too, (Y/N)." Sam and Buck made their way into the apartment leaving you faced to face with Zemo.

"Hello." You greeted, offering a differential handshake.

"Hello, (Y/N). I hope all is well." He accepted the short handshake and gave an equally differential smile before entering your apartment.

"Welcome to my humble abode, make yourselves at home here. I have two bedrooms so we better discuss sleeping arrangements-"

"Easy, I call dibs bunking with you while Wings and Zemo stay in your spare room." Bucky interrupted.

"Hold up, why can't you stay with creepy-magee? I'm sure you two would love to stare at each other." Sam argued.

"Because I called dibs, isn't that right Doll?"

"He did call dibs, Sam." You shrugged and laugh at his look of betrayal.

You heard Zemo start to speak but Sam beat him to it, "You don't get an opinion." Zemo simply put his hands up and surrendered while the other two kept arguing about the concept of dibs.

"Anyways I'll order some Chinese food and we can discuss why you three are here over dinner."

--------

Your mind was blown.

Bucky and Sam filled you in on Isaiah, the return of super soldiers, why they needed Zemo, and the issues they had with the New Captain America. You also almost chastised Bucky for missing his mandated therapy session but decided to keep eating your food and let him continue.

"Wow, that is fucking nuts. Super soldiers, huh?" You sigh. As much as you didn't want to, you had a feeling they would need your help with fighting. After all you fought along with the original Captain America, so you picked up ways to fight super soldiers.

"Yeah, after Madripoor we need to lay low. Hopefully no one spotted us." Sam said, starting to pick up his dishes. Everyone seemed to follow suit and you were about to speak again when you heard knocking at your door.

"Hey, can you take these  for me? I'll go answer the door." You slid your stuff towards Buck who looked at you worried.

"Do you want one of us to answer the door with you?"

"Nah I should be fine, it's probably Mrs. Espinoza looking for her sons cat." You waved him off, making your way to the door. You unlock your locks and crack open the door.

There stood Frank fucking Castle, covered in an obscene amount of blood while using  the wall for support.

"Hey..." He greeted with a hoarse voice and a weak attempt of a smile.

"Holy shit, Frank." You said barely above a whisper. "Fuck, can one you guys come here?!" You shouted, opening the door wider while taking one his arms over your shoulder.

"What the hell, (Y/N)?" Bucky looked at you and the blood soaked Punisher with bewilderment.

"I'll explain in a bit! Just help me take him to the couch. Sam go get my medical bag, it's in my closet in the room on the left! Zemo clear everyones stuff from the couch." You barked out orders while you and James carefully led Frank to the couch. When Zemo cleared it off and Sam came running out with your bag, you both laid him down on the couch.

With no hesitation you quickly wash your hands and prepare your equipment.

"Are you going to tell us what the hell is happening right now, (Y/N)?" Buck asked.

"I am also wondering why we have a beaten guy on your couch." Sam's face was full of worry.

You sigh and begin removing Franks clothes to look for any life threatening wounds. "This is the Punisher. If you haven't kept up with the more lower level news he is one of the vigilantes."

"That doesn't explain why he is here."

"I... I am friends with him and Daredevil. I patch them up so they can avoid the hospital." You see a bullet wound on his side, it was bad but it was manageable with an exit wound. "One of you hold him up so I can stitch his back."

Bucky immediately joined your side, using his enhanced strength to hold up Frank.

"You gonna introduce me to your friends here, (Y/N)?" Frank rasped. "I gotta know whose cold ass hand is touchin' me."

"I'll introduce you to them later, let me get you stable."

-----

After what felt like hours, you finished dressing a gash on his thigh. You peel of your bloodied gloves and get up from kneeling on the floor. You helped sit Frank up so he can get a good look at whose here.

"Frank, this is Sam Wilson and James Barnes. I worked and fought with them as an Avenger." You gesture to the two. You saw him eyeing Buck before giving you a knowing look. You both were friends after all, he knew of your feelings towards Bucky.

"Who's the guy in the pimp coat?" He grunted and gestured towards Zemo, who rolled his eyes.

"Baron Zemo. Escapee prisoner."

"Zemo? As in the guy who bombed the UN? Do you need me to-"

"No Frank, they need him alive." You chuckled.

"Well, it's good to put faces to names. Especially yours, James." Frank spoke, nudging you. "I'll get my spare clothes and rinse off the blood now, something tells me the guest room will be taken." You were going to protest but knew Frank was too stubborn to listen. The four of you watched him make his way to the guest room before closing the door.

"Oh so he knows about us but we don't know about him?" Sam arched a brow at you. Bucky stayed silent, clenching both his fists.

You sigh, "I am sorry for not telling you guys. I didn't keep my involvement with vigilantes away from you both on purpose, I promise."

"Can we trust the Punisher? Will everything be safe with all of us here?"

"You don't have to worry about me talking." Frank came out of the room in new clothes, using a damp towel to wipe his face. "(Y/N)'s stuck her neck out for me countless times. I owe it to her."

"If (Y/N) trusts you then we trust you."

"As much as I want to stay up, I think it is best we get some sleep. Tomorrow we can talk more." You stretch and yawn and everyone seemed to agree. Castle put a pillow on the couch and grabbed a spare blanket you had lying around.

"C'mon man you can have the bed. You look like you got the shit beaten out of you." Sam said.

"Nah it's fine. I'm a light sleeper. I can stay out here in case he," Castle pointed to Zemo, "tries somethin'."

"C'mon Buck, your rooming with me." You smile and grab his non-vibranium hand.

"I don't want to share a room with Zemo." Falcon groaned

"Bucky did call dibs after all."

You said goodnight to Sam, and gave Frank a quick hug goodnight before you and James went into your bedroom, a duffel bag in his hand.

James was feeling jealous. He didn't want to admit it but watching how friendly you were with Frank Castle made his feelings worse.  He could pick up the familiarity between the two of you and how easy you were able to talked to him. Frank was someone in your life Bucky didn't know existed.  How close were you to the Punisher?

Thoughts of you and Frank entered his head but he quickly tried to dismiss them. It made his chest ache just thinking about you and another man. Yeah, Buck was smitten with you. But the feelings of self-doubt and guilt always made it hard for him to confess. With the addition of Frank? Made it almost impossible.

"You can use the bathroom to change while I cahnge out here." Your voice snaps him out of his thoughts. He nodded silently, clenching his jaw, while entering the bathroom.

Your stare lingered at the door before you quickly put on a different set of comfortable clothes, discarding your previous clothes to the floor. You picked up on his sudden quietness and you hoped he wasnt truly mad at you. With a quiet sigh you slid under the blankets of your bed and waited for Bucky so you could get to bed. You and Bucky have shared the floor and bed before, and you were able to keep it together.

But after everything that has happened, after finally seeing him after almost two months, it made you feel nervous. You weren't sure if it was exhaustion or stress, but your feelings for Bucky suddenly felt overwhelming.

If that wasn't enough, you felt like your face was burning when he stepped out from the bathroom, wearing just his boxers and dogtags.

"I, uh, hope you don't mind. I found sleeping without a shirt easier to deal with nightmares. Helps cool me off."

"No, no. Don't worry at all Buck." You smile but it felt like your heart was going to leap out of your chest. He smiled briefly before he turned out the lights, joining you in bed. You both laid on your sides, back facing back. You shut your eyes and try to focus on sleeping, but the image of shirtless, only in boxers James flooded your thoughts.

"Doll?" James voice cut through the silence.

"Y-yes, Buck?"

"Who... Who is Frank  to you?" He asked in a low, dejected tone. Your eyes snap open. What kind of question was that from him?

"What do you mean?" You roll to face him but his back was still towards you.

"Are you and Frank..." He paused, "just ignore it, nevermind."

"Bucky, face me." He didn't  respond. "Please, James." You heard him sigh but he complied, turning to face you. The subtle light from your window made it easier to see his handsome face in the dark. You gulped, trying to muster an ounce of courage to tell him these feelings you've held for him for years.

"Frank and I are strictly friends. Before he became the Punisher he had a wife and two kids who he loved dearly. They-they were killed in front of him. He loved his wife dearly and I don't think he is looking to start dating anytime soon." You sigh and things go silent for a moment.

You rested a hand on his cheek and scooch closer. "James, I... I really enjoy spending time with you. I enjoy your presence. After all that we have been through,  with getting the code words out your head to losing Steve... I want to be by your side no matter what." You felt tears prick your eyes.

"I feel the same way about you doll." James spoke, just above a whisper. "You help ground me and honestly you help keep me sane." His hand found its way above yours that was cupping his cheek. Gently he moved your hand to his lips. He placed a soft kiss to your knuckles before moving it over his heart. "I've felt this for a while and I never had much courage to say it before but... I love you, (Y/N)."

"I love you too, James." You smile, a few happy tears managed to escape your eyes.

"C'mere." He helped move you close to him, pulling you into a deep hug. The chill of his vibranium arm caused goosebumps but the warmth of his other arm gave you comfort.

You wrap your arms around his bare torso and snuggled your face into his neck. God he smelt good. With a little courage coursing through you, you gave him a small kiss on the neck before giving him a little love bite, nothing that would bruise.

Bucky chuckled moving a part from you, just enough to get a full look at your face. Without saying anything he leaned in, his eyes hooded, placing his lips on yours. One of his hands found its way to your head while the other rested on your hip. You pushed your body closer to his, while gently dragging your nails across his back.

"Mm Doll." He mumbled against your lips. "I... I want to continue this with you if that's alright with you."

"Yes, Bucky." And in an instant after giving him the word, he maneuvered you onto your back while he hovered on top of you, his dogtags dangling down. He removed them from his body.

"Don't want those hitting your pretty face." He smiled and leaned in to kiss you once again, this time him slipped his tongue into your mouth, deepening the kiss. His warm hand rested on your neck before he slowly dragged it down your chest and to the hem of your shirt. He messed with it a little, teasing to go underneath.  You whine a bit and arch your back as he kept messing with it.

"May I?" You simply nod in response. He pushed himself away from you and took the hem of your shirt, helping you remove it. The cold air hitting your now exposed chest made you shiver. "No bra? Naughty." He smirked.

"I'm not the one who came out only his his boxers."

"Touché." He tossed your shirt onto the ground and soaked in the view below him. The perfect lighting leaking through the blinds illuminated everything in just the right way. James licked his lips, "You are gorgeous, doll."

"You're pretty handsome yourself." You smile, which made him smile.

"Let me treat you like a goddess. Let me repay the favor." Without another word James attacked your neck with his mouth, nipping and sucking on the area. He continued leaving love marks from your neck down to your chest slowly. The sensation made you moan as tingles went through your body. You felt yourself getting wetter as he continued to leave hickies on your chest.

Bucky used his non-vibranium hand to cup your right breast, kneading it gently. Maintaining eye contact with you his leans his head down to your free breast before giving your raised nipple a quick lick. The feel made your body shake ever so slightly, making him smirk at the reaction. He did it again, although this time slower before latching on, using his tongue to swipe over the sensitive bump.

"Bucky-" You gasped. You felt heat slowly build in your core, not enough to have you screaming, but enough to feel pleasurable. "That feels so good." He continued giving your tender breasts and nipples attention, slowly building you up.

"Lets get these pajama shorts off." He sat up again, moving himself lower on the bed. He gripped the waistband of your shorts and began slowly removing them while you lifted your legs to help. Discarding them like your shirt, he tosses those articles of clothing to the floor. You were left with just your panties

His hands take your knees and help spread your legs farther a part, soaking in the view of your body spread out. His mouth found its place on your in thigh. He left small kissed, sometimes little bites, and he dragged his mouth closer and closer to your wet pussy. "I want to taste you doll, is that alright?"

"Y-yes Bucky, please." You begged, adjusting your hips ever so slightly. "I want to feel you more."

"As you wish." He smirked. Before he removes your panties he places soft kissed over the fabric covering your pussy. You stifle a moan, as he continued to tease you against the fabric. When he was done, he remove your underwear with ease.

"You are stunning, absolutely stunning." His hand found its way to your slit. He gently  brushed his fingers over your sensitive skin, making your body twitch ever so slightly. "You're so wet for me, already." His tongue slowly and softly dragged around your vagina and clit, the teasing is back on.

"A-Ah!" You quietly moaned, trying to keel your voice down. You moan again when you felt one metal finger enter slowly while his mouth latched to your clit. One of your hands reached down to grip his hair as he began to finger and play with your clitoris.

The pleasure had your curling your toes. You had to bite your lip to hold back from moaning loudly. You didn't feel like waking up the others.

Another finger entered as he started to speed up his motions, his tongue and mouth still on your clitoris.

"That feels so good." You said with an airy tone as he continued to work.

"You taste divine." His breath against your sensitive skin made you your thighs clamp around his head. The pleasure was building up and you felt like your were close to cumming.

"J-James, - oh god!" You kept your voice down but the work he is doing to your clit made it hard to stay quiet. "Fuck-"

James give your clit one last lick before sitting, removing his fingers in the process. He then licked his fingers clean as he stared down at your panting body. He could feel his cock wanting to be free from his boxers so he removed them, letting his large erection out. He watched you squirm as you awaited for his touch again.

"Do you want my dick inside you, doll?"

"Ye-yes please." You begged, wiggling your hips for him. "Please!"

"God your so hot." He leaned back over you, placing a sloppy kiss on your mouth. You could taste yourself on his lips. Lining himself up to your entrance he looked to you. "Ready?"

"Yes!" He smiled, and slowly slide his cock inside you. You gasp as you feel him stretch you out, tears stinging your eyes. He stopped once he was fully in, letting you have a moment to get adjusted. "I don't know how I'll keep my voice down."

"Bury your face into my neck, I want to hear you moan my name."

You did what he suggested, you wrapped your arms around his torso while he used his vibranium arm to stay stable and his other arm around your head to keep himself close to you. His body was completely on top of yours.

"You can move now."

James slowly moved his hips away, almost entirely removing his cock from you except the tip before thrusting back in. Your moan was successful smothered by his body. He continued thrust himself inside your pussy, the sound of skin slapping skin filled the room.

"O-Oh James- yesyesyes," You mewl. "You feel so good." You heard him let out a husky groan in your ear.

"I love it when you say my name, (Y/N)." He whispered in your ear as he kept his pace. You continue to moan out his name, gripping him tight as his thrust got faster. "Fuck, your so tight."

"Shit- faster!" You begged and he obliged. "You're so good to me Bucky. You-you're perfect." You could feel his thrust starting to gst sloppy as you felt waves of pleasure course through your body.

"Baby you make me crazy." He moaned. You could feel his hand make its way down to your clit, and your body arches against his as he pressed down on the sensitive bud. He practically started pounding your pussy as he moaned in your ear.

"James I'm gonna- I'm so close!" You cry out as the the feeling kept building.

"Do it, cum for me."

It was like everything in your body started shake as the pressure finally snaps in your core. You bury your face into his chest and moan his name as blinding, white hot pleasure filled your being. Your walls tighten around his cock  and you feel him start to tense.

His thrusts became harder before he finally released his thick cum inside of you before collapse onto of you, panting. Both of you were sweaty and breathing hard, but neither of you moved. The feeling of his cock inside you, twitching, was extremely hot.

"You're amazing, (Y/N)." He grinned, making you smiled.

"You're the best damn thing in my life, James."

---------

You woke up naked the next morning, curled up to an equally naked, sleeping Bucky. You smiled, remembering last nights confession and everything after that. You watch him sleep for a moment before deciding to slip out of bed to make everyone breakfast. You throw on the pajamas you wore before hand and quietly leave the room.

You close the door as quietly as and turned around, only to see Frank sitting at the table reading a magazine you had lying around.

"Oh good morning Frank." You smiled and walked past him, hoping he wouldn't notice anything. "I'm gonna make some breakfast for everyone."

"Morning, (Y/N)." He grunted. "Sleep well?"

You almost choked on air, "Yes, I did. How about you?"

"Oh you know, the couch is alright but I am a light sleeper remember? I kept hearing weird noises through the night. " Your face felt on fire as you turned to face him. He wore a smug smirk on his face. "Got something on your neck there."

You rush to grab your phone and look in the camera. Low and behold, hickies were left on your neck. "Shit."

Frank snorted, "So you finally got with your crush, huh?"

"Oh shut it you grump."

"I'm just teasing you. You know I'm happy for you, (Y/N)."

"Thanks, Frank."

Frank decided to help you with breakfast, taking on making bacon and sausage while you attended to making pancakes. And sure enough the rest of the people in the apartment came out.

"They're gonna see them. "

"I know, I am bracing myself for Sam's teasing." You sigh. You go and place the plate  pancakes you made on the table while Frank placed the bacon and sausage he made.

"G'morning, doll. I missed ya in the morning." Bucky approached you, wrapping his arms around your waist.

"I wanted you to wake up to some breakfast." You grinned and placed a chaste kiss on his lips.

"Did you finally confess your feelings?" You heard Sam. "I gotta get ahold of Tic Tac and Clint they owe- what the hell is on your neck (Y/N), is that what I think it is?" He groaned and sat at the table, everyone taking their spots.

"Hickies are messages on the body that can show ones presence on another-" Zemo spoke but was cut off by Sam.

"I do not want to know, Zemo. Lets just eat."

Breakfast was great. You were surprised Frank got along with the others, though it did take some talking to by Sam to break him out of his shell. You also could have sworn Buck and Frank had a stare down at one point but were both laughing and smiling.

You take hold of Bucks hand that was on the table and give it a light squeeze, smiling at him while he smiled back. Life was pleasant even after these emergency visits.

[smol-grey-tea]

I was gonna write the romo attraction thing today but honestly i dont feel like doing it bc im just rlly upset about smth that im sure a lot of ppl can relate to

So my irl friend groups are very... well they dont know much about these kinds of things, i had to be a walking encyclopaedia for them about my identities like nb stuff bc they didn't bother to just... look it up.

When i told them i was trans they would say "omg are you actually trans?? I have a trans best friend!!" Yikes

Instead they would ask me to explain it. Which is fine, i kinda hate having to explain for the 5th time that no, using the correct terms and pronouns is not a fucking burden, and that yes, dysphoria is awful and wont just magically go away.

and when i tell them to yk, not use pronouns for me and just use my name instead, not 1 person did that. They just... misgendered me and used she/her when i explicitly told them that it makes me dysphoric. I then told them to use coo/coos/cooself instead bc i quite like it, but they still didnt use it.

Then i gave up and told them to use they/them since it doesnt make me dysphoric even tho i lowkey hate it. They still misgender me but said "they'll try to get used to it". Its not that hard guys what the actual fuck???

Anyway, i was actually going to talk about aspec stuff. So i only told one of them that i was demiromantic demisexual, and they said "wtf is that" which yk is not a nice way to react to someone coming out, but i have thick skin so i just explained it bc again they couldnt bother to search it, and they said "ok ig" and changed the subject when i wanted to explain my attraction???? I've never had anyone that i could talk to about my complicated feelings with being aspec and just when i thought i could i was shut down.

I thought it was over and done with, until they started to... ignore my fucking identity??? Which i would say is way more important and personal to me than my bisexuality??? They never did any of that bs with my bisexuality probably bc they were pansexual themself, but jfc is it that hard to not make jokes about me being horny or having a crush or joking about setting me up on blind dates??? It legit made me so uncomfortable and i have no idea what to say.

Bc remember, they didnt exactly respect my pronouns and kept using gendered terms to refer to me even more after i came out??? I swear it feels like its on purpose every time they called me a girl but whatever

Istg they forgot that im demi bc they keep making these jokes and ignoring that i dont feel sexual or romantic attraction like that and keep acting as if i want to date ppl or fuck them when i say they look pretty??? I spent way too fucking long mistaking my aesthetic attraction for sexual for ppl to once again reinforce this idea and im done with it. Please for the love of god stop it.

I said i liked wilbur and thought he was rlly cute and they then proceeded to, you guessed it, act like im in love with him or that i want to fuck him. First of all, hes a real person on the internet that i do not know, 2nd of all, fucking eww, and 3rd of all, hes a whole ass adult and we r both in high school. Yikes again.

Ofc i didnt tell them these things and just said that i dont like him that way and just thought he was pretty and nothing else. They completely ignored this and thought i was just embarrassed or smth or that i was in denial. Yikes again again.

So yeah. The only lesson i learned is to never come out as aspec to anyone irl ever again. Tbh i kinda want to tell them that im not bi and that i dont feel any kind of attraction. It would be a lie but christ i wish they would stop. They can validate my bisexuality but not my nb or aspec identities? I knew that queer sexualities were more normalized now which is awesome but why cant they do that for trans ppl or aspecs? Why does it have to stop there?

Sorry for venting like this but i thought this might be relatable for yall. Ive never had the experience of feeling "broken" bc of any of my identities, im very confident in them. I just wish other ppl other than my online friends would feel the same.

Also sorry for delaying the romo attraction thingy i just rlly dont feel like it rn. Idk when i will write it but hopefully if i feel better i will finish it today

There's no pressure to write it up dude it's cool :) whenever you're ready ❤

And those ppl do not sound like good friends- idk exactly how old you are but ik I'm older, and I can tell you for certain that you will find better friends one day. It's guaranteed :) they don't deserve your friendship and I am glad to validate and help you in any way you need ❤❤

Yee I've never felt broken either! I think an element of that is that I thought I was allo for a very long time? But on the other hand I was bullied in my childhood for not having attraction so idk why that hasn't manifested into a phobia of romance but eh I'm better off this way whether it makes sense or not.

It makes me happy as well cuz a lot of ppl in the community seem very pessimistic abt how we're treated but it's nice to know that not all of us feel broken cuz the 2 of us are living examples of that :)

But unfortunately yeah, your experiences above are things many ppl can relate to. I'm sure almost everyone can remember a time where they came out to someone and weren't met with good responses,,

Let this be a reminder that this is not right and we deserve more support for something so personal. Even if you don't understand someone's identity that doesn't give you the right to dismiss or ignore them. Our identities are very important and personal to us and supporting them is basic respect.

[day-time-dream]

ok so im posting this conversation transcript so ill ((hopefully)) be able to find it later and also yall should read the wild stuff @nocturnal-and-chaotic and i came up with while discussing HNOC a while ago

CHEL-i like to think that literally the only reason brian bothered to give any prophecies was that he was trying to keep mordred from getting him stuck in the sun

NOCT-yes

but also he tries to be a good person

CHEL-which comes with the lovely mental image of every time mordred passes the hanged man hes like ‘is that prophetic statue.....glaring at me?’

NOCT-gorgeous

wanna hear my latest mechs hot take

CHEL-sure

NOCT-the hanged man rusts is just brian rolling 2 nat 1's and a nat 20 on a charisma check

CHEL- noice

also he was stuck on means justify ends that whole time and thats why he couldnt just get down

it would have been rude

NOCT- oh my god youre so right

or maybe he wasn't actually hanged, he just got himself stuck and everyone sort of assumed he had been hanged and he was to embarrassed to say anything

CHEL-thank you. im very into your idea that brian just fucked up and got himself stuck

and then people started using ‘the hanged man’ as a cautionary tale and he couldnt just get down!! that would be a bad example!!

NOCT-no no, he's physically incapable of getting down, and it would be rude to ask for help

the real reason it takes the crew so long to fish him out of the sun is that they keep picturing his face when he got stuck and then they start laughing again

CHEL-i cant tell if i better like the idea that brian was there alone and wrote/told the others about hnoc or if the others were there and thought it was the funniest fucking thing he’d ever done

NOCT-every single one of the mechanisms would have laughed directly in brians face

CHEL-i think thats where the angst or comedy branches off

oh absolutely

jonny comes by once a week to ask someone in town to ‘explain what this metal man thing is. why is it up there? what does it do?’ and brian is hanging there like, if it were not for the laws of this land and also the fact that i am stuck up here and also my morality being on mje i would slaughter you

NOCT-ivy walks past after jonny, commenting about how foolish the hangman must have been to tie such easily escapable knots

although i like to think they all left when they saw which way the wind was blowing, and just,,. forgot brian?? and then when they realized, the series of fuck ups were just too funny and they laughed at brain for a couple decades before picking him up

CHEL-*the mechs, drifting through space, having a grand old time*

tim: hey lets go to -random planet-

*three days later*

tim: why are we not on the planet yet

ashes: idk ask brian

tim: brians not here

mechs:..........

jonny: FUCK we forgot brian

NOCT-screeching

CHEL-the reason it took them so long to get back is no one else can fucking fly the aurora

NOCT-nastya and aurora were on a break

CHEL-yea nastya could ask her to take them there but it takes a Lot of persuasion and its very uncomfortable for everyone else

NOCT-eeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

CHEL- -marius

NOCT- -jonny

i mean its definitely both

CHEL-brian gets back on board and no one will look at each other and hes like ‘i hope you all fucking learned your lessons i am the most important fucking crewmember on this ship’

NOCT-no, he assumes everyone was drunk and forgot but had no other problems, and everyone makes a silent agreement to never tell him the truth

CHEL-no i think ive gone from ‘brian was just Too Nice to come down from the gallows and the other mechs thought this was hilarious’ to ‘brian purposefully got himself stuck in a sun for a thousand years so the others would start giving him some goddamn Respect’ and i like this

NOCT-ok i'm on board with the exception that everyone else THINKS my version is what happened but in reality they all got played

CHEL-oh yes absolutely

NOCT-raphealla*** writes lost in the cosmos because she feels bad

CHEL-vksjebksjfna WHAT

NOCT-i cant spell

help please

CHEL-its raphaella i think

but i was thinking about that conversation

NOCT-idk i just thought raphaella would want to apologize without admitting they forgot brian so she goes,

you know what shows we care? a backstory song!

CHEL-brian: yea you all left me in a sun huh?

raph: yes and while you were gone i wrote you a song for us to perform together

brian: cool!

*after listening*

brian: its...,very beautiful......and well written?

raph: do you not like it? its kinda an apology.....

brian: as an apology for you all leaving me alone in space you wrote me a song-

raph: yes!

brian: -about my agonizing death alone in space?

raph: ....ah

NOCT-raph, scribbling in a notebook: reminding people of trauma is not a good way to handle lesser trauma. got it

jonny, reading over her shoulder: i just thought of a great way to bother tim!

CHEL-and thats how gunpowder tim vs the moon kaiser was written

NOCT-canon

[bi-lesbian]

just a lil update !! i came out to my mom about being really gay n it went well! i knew shed be accepting, i was just awkward with bringing it up lol. but i finally said something on national coming out day! and her response KILLED me HFJSBNFD

"i kinda figured" I JUST RADIATE GAY VIBES TO EVEN MY MOM IG LMAOO

also i wasnt aware it was national coming out day until On the day, so i didnt really have a plan and was like like "well i guess this is a good excuse to go ahead n get it over with lol," and since i just put the text together real quick i didnt have all of my identity stuff in there, n later texted i was polyam too!

didnt mention my genderfluid stuff or that i specifically identify as "bi lesbian," bc the first isnt really that important for me to bring up to her n try to explain (maybe i will someday? idk. my gender is very "idrc that much" so it doesnt feel very pressing to Come Out about it), and the bi lesbian part will prob just be told in passing at some other point, i mainly just wanted to get out i liked girls At All across here lol and my arospec identity is just ???? bc attraction CONFUSING so i didnt mention being cupioromantic either vkhdjf

(my MAIN worry is just about her learning i have a girlfriend but not bc im dating or that shes a girl, but that its a long distance online relationship and shes very weird with online Friendships to begin with 😓 and probably wont like that im wanting to meet her in person someday as well)

anyways, this brings me to my next thing ! im more comfortable actively engaging with Queer Stuff around my family now, and hopefully i can finally get an id and a bank account started soon and set up a redbubble !! its related bc im gonna be putting up a lot of my flags/symbols on there, maybe some other stuff i make too? but yeah mspec lesbian pins and all that are gonna be available :3!! ig just sorta like an "official" mspec lesbian shop if it can be called that lol i dont have a good perception of time so im not sure how long ago i had first mentioned this idea, but hopefully its actually gonna be happening soon !!! and i will update yall on it, and whenever the redbubbles up ill include it on my pinned post and description!!

[neojeno]

I really wouldn't mind you aiding me with some tutorials love

giffing tutorial/resources

hi anon! sorry it took me so long to answer. i figured this might be helpful for others out there who have asked me similar questions, so i’ve compiled a pretty comprehensive list of tutorials/resources. idk about others but when i was new to giffing, it took me a lot of painful effort to go around and look for resources, so i’m putting it all here to make it a little easier!

i download videos using 4k video downloader. it will download very good quality 1080p videos in .mp4 format. if you’re downloading a 4k video, make sure to change the setting option to .mkv so that you get 4k and not 1080p—for obvious reasons since you want the highest quality.

i rely on kpopexciting to get .ts files — which are basically raw, very high quality video files for live performances. they are much less grainy than .mp4 versions of live performances—which are the ones you’ll see uploaded to youtube. i’ve found that 4k videos (in .mkv) are just as good quality as .ts, but obviously you will rarely see live performances in 4k, so get .ts when you can!! you can also try to find .ts files on twitter, but you may have to do a lot of digging. i wish i could recommend you twitter accounts, but the ones i used to go to have been very inactive/taken down all their drives :( but this website is really nice and updated frequently so i would recommend it!

vapoursynth links + download. the reason you would use vapoursynth is to resize your gif, while maintaining the optimal quality of the gif. if you gif without vapoursynth (.ie only using photoshop), it will still be fine, but the image quality may be grainier. also, you will definitely need vapoursynth to gif .ts files —more will be explained in the tutorial i’ve linked below. i would recommend that you have a high processing/lots of ram/newer desktop or laptop to use vapoursynth so that 1, your computer isn’t fried and 2, your vapoursynth process will go a lot faster. i am using a 2017 macbook pro for all my work, and it runs pretty well, but my laptop still gets pretty hot so just make sure you’re not running a million things in the background while using adobe products and vapoursynth lol. i used a pretty old and beat up 2011 model macbook air back then, and i will say that yes vapoursynth worked and ran on it, but it took much longer, and basically fried the laptop’s battery (aka i had to get the battery changed twice and the laptop would die randomly) but issok it was a school borrowed laptop so i didn’t feel too bad lol. im just saying this as a precaution, to preserve the health of your electronic devices!! but don’t be afraid to use vapoursynth! you should still try it at least once.

thank you to @realstraykids for this super detailed, really nice tutorial! it includes how and where to download videos, how to gif using vapoursynth, using photoshop, comparisons, coloring, and pretty much all you need to know. 10/10 would recommend

thank you to @dreamcolouring for this lifesaver!!! the best and easiest way to blur out unwanted captions/objects in your gifs. i recommend doing this step after converting your frames to video timeline and before you do sharpening and coloring. another tip i’ll add is to feather the selection you’ve made right before you click on “add vector mask” —this will make sense once you’ve read through the tutorial. feathering it will make the blurred spot less noticeable and more subtle.

i use this generator to create gradient colored captions! copy and paste your text, then select the colors you want. generate the code, and copy it. change the settings of the text editor on your post to HTML. paste the code, preview, and voila! add elements <blockquote>,<b>,<i>, etc as needed. see more on colored captions in this tutorial by @kylos​ --i believe op mentioned a different and better color generator but for some reason it won’t work for me :( hopefully it works for u! basically same idea as the previous generator i mentioned.

my own mini tutorial/workflow process of making gifs. this includes working with a .ts file, vapoursynth, photoshop, coloring, watermarking, etc. and a few of my own tips below:

if you are working with an .mp4, you do not have to make any changes to the preprocessor/denoise filters/sharpening in the resizing part of vapoursynth—it doesn’t make that big of a difference if you do. but if you are working with a .ts file, definitely do make those changes,, that’s the whole reason you have vapoursynth. with an .mp4, i like to use vapoursynth to just resize, but i don’t add any additional settings. i use smart sharpen in photoshop to sharpen it, which is pretty good on it’s own (at least in photoshop 2020!).

my rule of thumb is to do add .02 seconds when i am setting frame delay. so if when you first import the frames, they are at 0.04 seconds, i usually change them to 0.06. of course, this is my personal taste—you can make all your gifs faster or slower depending on how you want em to look.

if you are on a mac, you can screen record by pressing Command+Shift+5 (it’s a shortcut to quicktime screen recording). I only screen record for things like the beyond live concert or other live streamed events. the image quality of the screen recording, in my experience, is actually pretty good. when you gif the screen recording however, you may notice that it adds extra frames that you don’t need. by that i mean duplicate frames. you could keep the duplicate frames but that just means the size of your gif is going to be much bigger (keep in mind the limit is 8mb). in order to remove those duplicates, my only solution has been to remove them manually (by holding Command while selecting), or when you are importing the video to frames, select the option to “limit to every 2 frames”—but this method will be less precise and still not as good as manually removing frames. if you remove the duplicate frames, this means you will need to set the frame delay even slower, to make up for lost frames. in my experience, fps(frames per second) and frame delay work in conjunction. so for example, if i delete every other frame because they are duplicates,  but the starting frame delay is 0.02, i am now going to change it to something like 0.05 (so i added 0.03 seconds rather than my usual 0.02). if the duration length and the image dimensions of the gif are short/small, feel free to keep the duplicate frames in—i only delete duplicate frames in order to keep my gif under the 8mb limit. then, if you keep the duplicate frames in, continue with your standard frame delay preferences.  now that i’m writing this im realizing this might not make a lot of sense lol.. but don’t worry about it for now and if you run into trouble w screen recorded gifs then you can come back to this for reference. again, this is only my experience recording on a mac—it may be a lot different if you use a screen recording program or are on a pc.

i don’t really use .psd templates because i like to give every gif/gifset it’s own unique coloring—so i remake the coloring every time, but if you get into a rhythm it’s pretty easy. there are a lot of nice coloring tutorials out there, too! my personal coloring adjustments in order: levels, exposure, color balance, selective color (if needed), vibrance, photo filter (if needed), color lookup (i use 2strip most often and i put it on ‘color’ blending mode). don’t forget to adjust the opacities and fills of the ‘color lookup’ adjustment layer in case it’s too strong. go back to correct each adjustment layer as needed. then, when you’re done and satisfied, group all those layers, copy the group (you can do an easy command+c), and paste it onto the next gif you’re working on for easy workflow.

if for some reason you can’t see the frames when you import your layers/video, it’s likely because your ‘timeline’ window isn’t showing up. just go to the window menu on photoshop, go to the bottom and you’ll see ‘timeline.’ make sure it has a check next to it.

i recommend watermarking your gifs because a lot of people like to repost tings these days 😠 - so make sure u got your brand on it! i keep my watermark saved to my ‘libraries’ in photoshop so it’s ready when i need it. i use the blending mode ‘overlay’ and adjust the opacity, but if you don’t want to do that you can also add a stroke/shadow to your watermark/do all sorts.

tag #nctinc for your nct creations and #jenonet for your jeno creations!!

here’s my own mini tutorial (well not much of a tutorial ig more like a work process vid?): took about ten minutes including the time to search and download the video (but i didn’t record that part i trust yall know how to do that), vapoursynth, and exporting. i hope this helps somewhat! feel free to ask more questions whenever :)

keep in mind that giffing takes a lot of patience, energy, and experience—so don’t worry if it takes you a bit to figure things out or if your gifs don’t turn out the way you want them to the first time around. we all start at the same place and all run into problems. i know giffing can sound intimidating and seem like a lot of work, but i promise, once you get into a routine, giffing is going to happen in minutes—and you’ll get beautiful gifs. have fun! 😊

[kuroosweakness]

Even more more facts about 🐾 anon bc you seem to like them so much:

Ayo the fact u think I’m a main character </3

I’m asexual but am also straight😔 yall prob don’t care tho I just wanted to say it

I am watching food wars😃😃 help me I want to go home but I’m doing it for the food so I can hopefully cook better😭😭

I’ll let you know if I can cook better from watching food wars or not

Ok idk if I can cook better but it’s not as bad as I originally thought and it has a good plot

I remember you asking why 🌝 is my first recent... LISTEN THAT FACE IS A MOOD ITS LIKE A LENNY FACE ON A MOON

If I was in AOT my two moods would be: “if I die I die, whether it’s bc of natural selection or I got killed by a Titan is debatable” and “it is what it is”

Team Eren all the way btw😎🥶🥶🥵💯💯💯💯💯❗️❗️❗️❗️

*war flashbacks of Assassination Classroom😭😭*

I read fanfiction of fictional characters but I could never do it with real people. I’m just saying it don’t feel right y’kno? That’s a real person with they own life outside of acting and whatever they do. It kinda upsets me but I don’t judge

I’m not a very judgmental person, I really just be minding my business

I’m so THICK in the head, like you can be like “well today was awesome” and I’d be like “cool! Tell me what happened!” AND ID BE GENUINELY EXCITED TO HEAR HOW YOUR DAY WENT AND I WOULDN’T GET YOU’RE BEING SARCASTIC (im not too dumb tho so I CAN pick it up from your voice or something, texts, not so much😭)

i’m lonely :(

Currently trying to find a crush in food wars bc all that’s keeping me going is the food🖐😔

On MyAnimeList it says I completed 140 anime so yea

I have only completely dropped one show and that’s yugioh arc v but seriously I watched the original and I don’t see a point in watching more

I apparently have like over 30 anime on hold BUT IN MY DEFENSE I’ve put a lot on hold so I can finish the new ones out like AOT s4, JJK, and TPN s2

I wonder what mood I give off🧐

Omg this is the only one where I didn’t talk about music

How do cooks fill food with food? Like let’s say you stuffed chicken with cheese, HOW DO YOU DO THAT?😣

:P

I’ll eat literally anything if it’s good.... unless it triggers my pickiness😬 which is easy to trigger if I see something stringy in my food or something. Like I’m really picky when it comes to onions bc they can leave a little bit of a stringy outer part bc of it and I HATE bean sprouts and I have no other reason to hate them other than the way they look. At least I like fruits and vegetables 😚 (except spinach if made wrong)

Idk what my favorite food is, the food I eat most frequently is rice and noodles but even then idk what my fav food is

I really love tea though ^^

I’m also into medicinal herbs and gardening. I even wanna go foraging!!^^ however ^^* I kinda don’t like being outside but I’m getting more used to it

I’m so used to subtitles, it’s like I don’t need to fully read them to know what’s going on. Whenever I’m watching sub the voice acting happens on its own y’know? But it’s still in japanese?? It’s hard to explain

I love how through my asks you can see some of my adventures of going through anime, like I do really love Haikyuu (it’s my fav after all) but you can also kinda watch as I enjoy other animes!

I love to play chess^^ but I’m a big wild card since I’m literally willing to sacrifice all my pieces to protect the king and queen, the queen even more so. (I also don’t do too much thinking when it comes to the game, it’s a wonder how I end all of my games in wins or ties ;-;)

Hugs and kithes!!🥰🥰

Well imma go back to watching food wars since I can’t think of anything else :P gn!

(Did you notice I organize the facts about me by color?👀) (that took way longer than necessary🖐😭)

oh okay okay, i don’t know much about sexual orientation but i’m trying to learn more! 

lmaoo i’ve also watched food wars! it was one of my first animes. other than the ... it’s a really good anime! i’ve learned a lot of new tips/tricks about cooking and i love the character dynamics :) tell me how it goes? 

(i have a crush on akira) 

i should start using the moon emoji more ... 

LMAO i haven’t watched aot much but ME TOO 

yeah yeah i can also understand the not being able to do that with real people! that’s so cute though, to be genuinely interested!  i’m sarcastic all the time lmao :) 

:( come talk to me! 

lmaoo soma’s hot though! and got a great personality!! also, takumi! KUGA REMINDS ME A LOT OF NISHINOYA!! 

you give off a really hyper and extroverted energy :) 

140 ??? oh wow, i genuinely impressed 

LMAO I HAVE NO IDEA. i can barely cook eggs. 

me too!! food is food :) i also eat rice and noodles the most often!! :)) tea too!!! 

ohh medicinal herbs! i’ve learned a bit about chinese medicinal herbs before ... doesn’t the assistant of erina (hisoka, pink haired girl from food wars) study medicinal herbs ?? 

ME TOO. I CAN’T understnad anything without captions now lmaoo 

omg you like playing chess? i kinda wanna play with you! :)) i’m not really goood at it but i’d love to try 

hugs and kisses 😼

enjoy watching food wars!! :))) talk to me about it, i haven’t watched in so long ahhh 

[vampexx]

First fic? Sorry if it sucks, but I couldn’t get it out of my head. I think I will call it... Purrs & Lullaby's

So yall know how Luka has a melody for Marinette? You know who else plays an instrument? .....Adrien...... Ok, hear me out with a little idea involving post reveal Marichat and Adrinette ~

Marinette is on her balcony late into the night, resting under several handmade, quilted blankets and snuggling several plush pillows along with her fave stuffed Chat Noir doll on her macrame hammock (lol, I know...so specific but yall know she would have one lol). She had a long day at school and on top of that, had to deal with yet another akuma, so today she was especially exhausted.  So she laid there watching DIY videos on youtube on her phone to help her unwind and maybe help her sleep. She often spends nights out on her balcony on cool, summer nights like this, especially under the stars. She was tired but for some reason, just couldn’t fall asleep.

As if on queue, there’s her feline boyfriend looking down on her from the balcony wall beside her. She without saying a word, lifted up the blanket exposing the spot next her in her hammock that was reserved specially for him, as usual. He, without hesitation as they do this all the time, climbs into the hammock with her and slips an arm around her shoulders. They discuss their mutual exhaustion from the akuma fiasco earlier that day and then Chat asks her what she’s watching. She explains some DIY and ASMR videos to help her relax and go to sleep but then explains how she just can’t manage to fall asleep. Chat thinks for a minute, thinking about a certain gift he had prepared for her a couple of weeks ago for some unknown special occasion but then figured, this was as good of a time as any.

He gently takes her phone and pauses her video then sets her phone aside. She asked him what he’s doing and he simply said, “be patient, it’s a surprise.” He pulls her close to him, holding her tight. He then grabs his phone that he brought in a small overnight bag along with some earbuds. He gently puts the earbuds in her ears and begins to set up a certain song on his phone. She looks at him confused, this is the first time he’s done something like this. Then he said, “Before I play this song for you I want you to know a couple of things, first is this song is ONLY for you because I wrote it while thinking of you, no one else. Secondly, I would only ever do this for you too...” Now she was even more confused but saw a slight blush creep onto his cheeks, he holds her tighter and begins to purr softly. In surprise, she looks up at him with a sparkle her big blue eyes making his blush on his cheeks and ears grow to a dark shade of red. He then without warning, hits play on his phone as they both sink back into the hammock comfortably. She listens, the song takes a minute to start but then she hears through the earbuds, Adriens voice starting by saying, “To my princess, m’lady, I love you,” and then a beautiful and intricate piano melody begins to play and it immediately relaxes her, head to toe. It’s a delicate and angelic piece and it reminded her just how talented her sweet prince was. She smiled blissfully, eyes closed, and oh so sweetly drifted off to sleep. The tender purring and a personal lullaby was just what she needed after such a hectic day.

She woke up the next morning in arms of her Adrien, still sleeping peacefully. Plagg was resting on his head with complete disregard to Adrien (as usual) due to his tail was resting across his forehead and over one of his eyes, all while nestled into his messy, blonde bed hair. ‘So cute!’ she thought. She then wondered where tikki was and then noticed she had made herself pleasantly comfortable into the crook of Marinettes neck, quietly giggling in her sleep. The rest of the kwamis from the box have scattered and nestled themselves into the folds of their shared blankets. Roarr purring in her sleep, Stompp loudly snoring, Fluff gently kicking her little foot while she dreams and Trixx curled up on Wayzz’s shell with her cheek resting on his. The rest just slept calmly and happily while cuddling each other.

Adrien may not have much a family at home, but here, he knows he has one...

A miraculous one.

(lol kinda pictured Plagg like this ^^^ on Adriens head like a real cat, with his long ass tail just hanging down his face but Adrien is so used it that it doesn’t even phase him anymore LMAO, I live for their relationship!)

....Welp, how did I do? lol pretty bad huh? Probably a lot of mistakes in there but, oh well I guess It’s my first fic and first posted fic. I like to write so I thought I would give it a whirl lol Hope it was at least half way decent, but idk.

I would also like to mention that this could still be canon someday.....hopefully...after all this torture....I HOPE SO. Probably not though.

Sorry again if it’s bad, but it was bugging me so thought I would just share it anyways for anyone who may be interested.

Have a miraculous day!

[petie-wabbit]

Idk but I keep like hearing *4 lack of a better word*.."Push". It does make sense tho considering my current situation. Jus push thru...grin n bears it lol

But a many times I like hear a voice? A subconscious thought I say but where does that come from? Like how does it know what to do? I don't question it anymore tho...it's got some "Cho" ideas *In Dakota dialect it means Good*..lol

Idk maybe it comes from decades of trial n error spurring a vast storage of my past learning "the know how's n shit" of life...cud be, no?🤔 But I cannot explain how it seems I know things my mind cuddnt? Like how I know when a person's thinking of me n I call, text or go see them and they're like "I was just thinking of you" or worse yet when a person doesn't like me certain things happen to them that sets them back or bad happens like they get hurt or something they use breaks.

Ugh such a curse for me tho. I don't like the thought of Anyone getting upset let alone hurt...sounds crazy but you stick around with long enough you'll see..just like everyone else who eventually says " it's like you're bad luck for me, things go wrong" but later on I hear they were talking bad or doing something behind my back.

Cuz of the above mentioned many think i do bad medicines on other n stuff against other by I don't.. well sometimes people get me soooo frustrated I Only Think bad of them, only for a bit but alas some days it' doesn't turn out good...it's n I'm getting better tho.

I'm assuming I keep myself happy n have good good thoughts more so than the regular Joe does n then it'll b all good. My cuzzin whoms a shaman once told me..."we gotta be careful with our thoughts".."no need to make others suffer more..as we suffer enough without anyone doing such..." makes sense to me but what most dont understand is it's like second nature to me n we don't know where it comes from.. nobody showed nor taught me so again where does it come from???

It sounds ridiculous and right outlandish and not possible yet it happens but like I said I tell others so it doesn't happen they assume I'm crazyn unstable lol...

Dont get me wrong tho I'm no psychic or anything I can't see the future of sorts dejavu kinda stuff n I can't do it on command it just flashes, I assume it's that cuz to be as such takes life long training ...I just seem to get what Info i need...yallz know?

My question to yall is..if anyone has similar events happening to them n if so..help?? lol Craziness signing off for now but one last thing... I've been told that " If you don't want it to continue tell someone".. so I told yall n now hopefully things charge for the better lol

[karamazovdmitri]

Ok so I know you love Dostoevsky but do you have any tips on how to read his books and just russian lit in general? I'm really interested but I feel like his or Tolstoy's or Turgenev's,etc. books might be very dense and complex and hard to understand and not relatable because they were written a while ago idk I'm just afraid I'm not gonna get them and enjoy them because of their complexity. Do you have any suggestions of where to start?

 ooooh boy ALRIGHT sorry i took so long to reply to that schools a binchso uh first of all im so glad the ruslit love is spreading! and alright yeah ok lets get right down to it, i’ll focus on dosto for now and yes his books seem complex and and i wont lie that they are, but theyre not necessarily complex in their writing or their prose, its in what it holds. like its hard to explain but its just. so packed with everything.i feel that theres not one way to “get” the books. though i see what you mean because i often say i dont “get” poetry, but i think that even if you dont unveil the secret of his books or something, its still such a good read. we did that in lit class with crime and punishment, kinda just like tryna unveil the mysteries of it and... you cannot just do it like that, you can get closer to it but like... i guess its kinda like that saying that says destination isnt as important as the journey. as for them not being relatable i got GREAT NEWS FOR YOU, the brothers karamazov was probably the most relatable book ive read in my whole life. like i know because its Classic Lit™ and all, it might feel distant and foreign and like its well, not relatable, but once you dive into it the characters are the same you’d find in other books, theyre all painfully human. like if you take evgeny bazarov from turgenev’s fathers and sons, sure hes that like complex nihilistic character but also hes a bitchass med student like you’d find in any university i swear alright, like... god i feel like i cant express my thoughts coherently but what i mean is even if the prose in itself seems complicated (once you dive into it, its really not that bad honestly?? to be fair i havent read tolstoy yet -yeah what a bad ruslit hoe i make- but dostoevsky, while not the simplest in appearance actually just boils down to feelings nd shit. like you’ll just FEEL it. and yeah for me it has made me reflect a lot on who i am as a person and who i want to be, but as you probs have guessed i do take ruslit quite to heart... maybe thats the secret to enjoying it so much? idk? like im not tryna read for 5 layers deep interpretation, i guess as i said... you just somehow feel it. AS for suggestions... if you want to go with dosto, my first read by him was personally crime & punishment, which i feel is a good start?? its always the one i rec because its part of the holy dosto trinity (aka C&P, the bros karamazov and the idiot) but i think its the most accessible one. like it has a clear plot, raskolnikovs character is complex but not inaccessible and the main ideas that want to be communicated are clear cut, more than in the huge rambles that you’d find in the brothers karamazov. i mean like i dont wanna spoil shit but like unless the brothers karamazov, when i read C&P i didnt find myself putting the book down every now and then to just. breathe and think about shit (i did however had to put it down to yell about razumikhin but thats just me)for other ruslit i kinda just like. go with whatever. i read fathers and sons because i saw it in the bookstore and just. bought it lmao and honestly since its like significantly shorter than one of the dosto bricks™ that might also be a good place to start. honestly i dont think theres like one Good Place to start but if youre 0 familiar with the russian culture and history and stuff, like dont start with the brothers karamazov (if you ask me, just dont start with TBK because its dostos best book and like you gotta gradually make your way to it, just keep raising the expectations higher and higher) (can yall believe right before i started reading tbk i was like “man can this really top C&P?” LMFAO) but anyway yeah, russian lit however is a good way to familiarize yourself with like Russia™ as a concept, and the russian soul, decent slav sadness and all that sweet stuff so just start with something and then the more you’ll read the more you’ll get what i mean by that russkaya dusha thinganyway uhhh youre probs fuckin tired of reading by here hopefully i was of any help??? basically dont be afraid anon, academics really like to brand classic rus lit as like some kind of extremely fancy and complex shit, and like its complex but not in the way you think. its complex because its depictions of the human soul so theres a lot packed in that. but even if you couldnt care less about like the soul and shit, theyre absolutely amazing psychology-wise. so yknow just pick up a book and go for it!! if it makes you more comfy, start with a short one! it can be fathers and sons, it can be even shorter and be Notes from underground (this ones kinda hardcore though, i gotta say) can be death of ivan illyich, could be a play by Chekhov like honestly... theres so much to choose from, treat yoself(also i want to thank you for that ask i feel like??? so honoured to be considered some kind of reference when it comes to russian lit, truly warms my heart and dont hesitate to come ask for more info bc i know this is kind of just a huge dump of whatever)

[wanna1things]

Private Investigator/Detective!Ren AU

Genre;; detective!au i guess and PI!au which are my absolute FAVE aus i love police shows +++ FLUFF??

Warnings;; none i mean not that i know of there's mention of a robbery & kidnapping so?

Pairing;; Choi Minki/Ren x reader

Summary;; Minki is an annoying PI who keeps solving the case before the police even find a single lead, that is, until you two meet…

Style;; bullet point because i am not in the MOOD TO WRITE FULLY -- gender neutral + stuff

Word Count; 3071

So;; this is my first AU that I’m posting and it’s one that i’ve wanted to write for a long time so!! I hope that it’s good and that yall enjoy it; i love minki so i really wanted to do this uhh watch when half on my aus on here are minki stuff lmao bye; idk;; uhhh lets goooo

there is not a single human on the police force that doesn’t despise the annoying PI choi Minki or,, ‘Ren’ as he likes to be called

dumb name right (not i love you Minki i’m sorry)

he somehow always manages to get to the scene of a crime before the police even know the crime has occurred like… how??

he's always rubbing it into their faces when they turn up as he’s leaving with bags of evidence like

‘oh you’re a bit late aren’t you??’

anyway

you’re a new detective on the police force straight out of police school or whatever;; specialised in profiling ooh go you!!

everyone kind of;; treats you badly because uhh newbie makes the tea and coffee that's their job??

but they still spill all the tea about Minki to you because he is CONSTANTLY aggravating them and refusing to work with the police;;

it takes 2 weeks for them to even invite you along to a case;;

a woman in her 90s who lived with her 20 year old granddaughter had her sapphire pendant stolen while she was in the house how sad :( poor granny

and when you get there,, guess who is there

you’re right, it's ‘private investigator Ren’ wow who’d’ve guessed??

you shuffle into the room following your colleagues and straight away you look at him and realise wow;; this guy is;;; beautiful how come they mentioned how annoying he is and not how beautiful this man is??

it doesn't take long for him to realise you’re staring at him mainly because all of your colleagues are scrambling to collect what’s left of the evidence while you’re just,, stood still like a rock (uhh medusa beauty much??)

so,, as he stuffs his notebook into his pocket he walks over to you and hands you… his business card

‘call me anytime’

he nods as he slips the card into your hand,,, WINKING, and then he leaves lol

CONTROL YOURSELF

you just give him a look like ;; what;; and get on with your work but… that darn beautiful man is on your mind gO AWAY Minki FFFFF

I mean that is until the next day when you wake up to an angry phone call because…

the uncooperative PI Ren has rang the police force and asked to speak to,, well what seems to be,, you??

I mean he described you as ‘that new detective that looked like a rabbit in the headlights and had no idea what they were doing but seemed to really enjoy staring at my face’ is he wrong tho i think not

So;; you rise out of bed because wow your co worker seemed mad and you do nOT WANT TO MISS OUT ON THIS OPPORTUNITY

Mainly because you wanted to find out how the hell he could solve things so fast but

Also because uhh he is a beautiful specimen who would turn that down??

as you turn up to work the whole office is just staring at you;;

you can hear people you’ve never spoken to just;; talking about you like

‘why does Ren want to speak to the newbie??? Out of all of us they’re the most useless;;’

like ouch;;

you don’t even know yourself why he picked you like?? nobody else in your department acknowledges you why is he ?? asking for you??

but you continue on your way to the conference room where hopefully Ren is waiting unless that's a whole ass hoax;; i mean nah he's not that mean

as soon as you enter the room he stands up and just straight up announces that he's solved the case

and you're just standing there shocked like what the hell nobody here even has a clue who’s done it there are no leads??

and he walks over to you,, grabs you by the hand and sits you down beside him where he has a file in front of him and just whispers

‘overwrite the cctv for this room when we’re done because i’m going to tell you exactly how i solved this.’

woAH THERE A SECOND

why is he revealing his secrets to you of all people???

is this some sort of game?? is he going to tell you incorrect details?? what is this???

while you're lost in your thoughts he just taps your shoulder and explains

‘your coworkers looked like they hate you;; and that's not nice… i’m going to help you to prove them wrong’

Hold up

The notoriously annoying and aggravating CHOI Minki is helping you out???? what

I mean you’re not going to argue this is the chance of a lifetime

‘But…’

Uh oh

‘There's one condition, you can't tell anyone i’m helping you out and i’ll only speak to you about a case. If you tell anyone else about this you won’t see the sun shine ever again’

Says that last bit with a smile like uh woah okay

Bit threatening there Minki

Of course you accept graciously, it’s not as though you actually speak to your colleagues except asking how they like their tea

And so the partnership ensues

he explains how he originally pursued the idea that it was an inside job, the granddaughter stole the pendant,, which makes sense because it all happened while the grandmother was in the house and she was in debt because of her student loan (ugh i feel you girl) but… it all seems a bit too convenient

so,, he decided to look into the granddaughter

and it turned out her recently dumped ex-boyfriend was in major debt from a gambling problem and needed to pay it off asap or some bad guys would be after him

and of course, an ex-boyfriend would know where spare keys are etc and maybe even where the pendant was

and his fingerprints wouldn't be out of place in the house because;; well he dated the granddaughter so

and so he went over to the ex-boyfriend's house and caught him with the darned pendant in his hands;; sneaky boy

and you are sat there like ?? this is so simple how dumb is the police force that they can't keep up with this??

obviously you express this to Minki who laughs and agrees with you wholeheartedly like lmao dumb colleagues am i right

and from that point onwards you two are like secret partners in crime;; you always work together on cases after everyone else has gone home in a little cafe in between his office and the police hq

and you keep solving crimes with his help and its!! Really fun!!

That is until about 3 weeks into the agreement when there's a massive kidnapping case that even Minki can't solve,, people keep being kidnapped for 48 hours then returned with no memory of what happened??

It's even more odd because;; it seems to always be the people he's close to who are getting kidnapped;;

First it was his old school friend, Aron, then it was his first girlfriend, Areum,,

And he just can't find a single lead??

Funny fact is that the police actually have him as a suspect uhh

but after a hard day of;; trying to interview the public to work out the identity of the kidnapper he smoothly invites you out like

‘Hey its like 10pm and we’ve not eaten since like 12 do you want to grab a bite to eat on me??’

and he takes you to this little fancy bakery about 10 minutes from where you were

and it's adorable they have pastries shaped like pokemon and stuff bLESS

he recommends these cute little croissant-style things that are a peachy colour and are filled with peach jam (they have these in a bakery near me they're AMAZING)

he pays for you and you sit at the bar by the window looking out at the road and just eating in silence before Minki turns to you and speaks up

‘y/n there’s a little secret i have to tell you~’

‘uh okay go ahead??’

‘don’t you want to know why i chose to work only with you?’

well of course you reply ‘yes??!!’ because that has been confusing you for the past few weeks??

and he then explains he was in the same position as you;; he used to be a detective in the police force and was treated the same way;;

he always could work out who’d done the crime but nobody else listened to him and they always prosecuted the ‘’easy target’’ which is terrible omg how corrupt

but

‘You’re different, you remind me of myself and i want to give you the help you need to rise to the top and end this’

‘But won’t that mean you’d lose your job??’

‘Definitely not;; private investigator Ren will never go out of business!!’

He smiles that cute ass big smile and his eyes go like crescent moons and you swear you feel your heart jump a little and you realise oh my god the way his eyes light up and his cute lil cheeks are completely adorable oh my god has he always been this loveable and cute whats going on;;

You’re getting ahead of yourself this relationship is strictly professional… right??

You finish the lil pastry and you open your flask of hot chocolate and offer a little to Minki

‘i ;; only have one cup?? But do you want a little??’ and he smiles so wIDE and just grabs the cup out of your hands and downs it like a shot what the hell

You take it back off him and fill up your own because ok if you don't have some now he will probably finish your whole flask in one second lmao

Oo no you got a little bit of hot chocolate on your nossseeee wyd???

you suddenly just notice Minki is staring intently at your face like ??? is there something on my face??

yes there is

He leans in WAY TO CLOSE and you feel your heartbeat just speed up to supersonic speed like oh my god this beautiful face is getting closer and closer whAT IS HAPPENING

He just wipes the bit of hot chocolate of your nose with the tip of his finger and licks it off smiling at you the whole time

Oh my

Be still your beating heart

That hurt but woah okay what is this feeling

Excuse me but

I think you have a little crush on Minki ;)))))))))))))))))))))

Anyway so yall go home get some schleep and food and stuff

And you keep meeting up every day of the week and you gradually realise that yeah;; you definitely have feelings for this beautiful guy

But

that's awkward?? Yall are just working together and Minki’s been dropping hints that this case will probably be the last yall work together

and you can’t explain how much that hurts like if you could you’d want to keep this case going forever but you gotta solve it

That's until it's week 4 of solving the case,, week 7 of yall working together as partners

And suddenly, one of Minki’s best friends jonghyun just disappears

Like the others he returns after 48 hours with little to no memory of what happened but this time

He turns up at Minki’s apartment when you both are there

Yall are watching a film to relax after the long day of work and you're both sharing some cup ramen (goals)

And he just knocks loudly on the door

You get up to answer it but Minki waves you to sit back down so,, you do,, and you continue your lovely noodles

Jonghyun walks in oddly calm and passes a small folded note to Minki

And whatever the hell is in this note is bad news

Minki straight away drops the note saying only ‘i knew it’ and he speeds out of the door to god knows where, dropping the note on the floor in his rush

Jonghyun just mumbles a ‘hello y/n’ towards you and slips out of the front door behind Minki,, presumably to follow him but who knows

you completely miss the fact that despite you’ve never met this guy he,,, knows your name?? But ;) who told him and why eh??

and tbh you are confused out of your mind like what the hELL DOES THAT NOTE SAY

so despite the fact that it might be considered ‘nosy’ you walk over to the door and pick up the note and it reads only one sentence

‘Your love comes next, i won’t let them go.’

Ok who is his love

Does Minki have a girlfriend or boyfriend?? Are they the next target?? Oh my gOD ARE YOU IN LOVE WITH A GUY THAT'S TAKEN

Wait what

In love

Now you realise you love Minki? Good one

You decide not to follow him and instead you just collect your stuff together and head home

The next morning Minki turns up at your door with some flowers to apologise for running off from the sleepover party;;

you just take them sheepishly, shoving them in a vase before leaving with him

the walk is awkward to say the least like uhh

Neither of you say a word and when Minki tries to start a conversation all you can think about is how jealous you are of this partner like;; they get Minki this beautiful man lucky asssssss

He basically doesn't leave your side the whole day

You visit jonghyun and ask him some questions about his kidnapper but;; of course he remembers nothing;; but he nudges Minki while you're making notes and whispers something in Minki’s ear

Sounded suspiciously like ‘is this your plan’

Minki nodded in response who knows what that means you certainly don't (yes you blind)

But it's getting a bit suffocating because;; every 5 seconds you're reminded of this person;; that Minki obviously cares about;; and it's sad y'know you love him and now it's unrequited

So you take a step outside with your lil water bottle not bothering to say anything to Minki or jonghyun who seem to be deep in conversation

As you’re sipping that nice, cool flavoured water (mmm i love flavoured water yes) something covers your nose and mouth and your vision starts to go

You can feel yourself being dragged somewhere,, into a van maybe?? 

And the last thing you hear before your consciousness fades is Minki shouting ‘why?!’ and then… nothing

When you wake up youre in a shifty ass warehouse

someone's tied you to a pole in a seated position but not very well because ha you can still move a little

someone walks out of the shadows and you immediately recognise them as one of the guys from the police force;;

Okay what??

He crouches down in front of you and laughs in your face

‘You and Ren had a wonderful act going didn't you? You love working with someone who disrupts the status quo. In fact, you love him don't you? Everyone can tell. But you two are a problem. If you actually solve a case, it takes too long. I only care about numbers, not who is innocent or guilty. You shouldn’t care either but… you and Ren are obviously the same. Both annoying little brats. You lovebirds should get a room, preferably as far away from the police force as possible.’

this guy is crazy

he is saying almost the exact thing Minki was talking about before? When he said about why he wanted to help you? Yikes

He leans forward to put  the rag over your mouth again to knock you out but before he can the door to the warehouse flies open

And guess who is there

It's your boy Mink

i‘Detective Chief Inspector Lee.. there is no need to get innocent people caught up in your stupid games.’

The DCI just scoffs and leans down again to your level, smirking as he places a knife against your neck

‘This so-called innocent idiot is only here because of you, why did you take such a liking to them? You’re lovestruck and it's obviously blinding your judgement. You know i’m right really…’

Minki looks straight into your eyes and wow okay he has definitely been crying look how red his eyes are and those bags under his beautiful eyes;; oh no

You smile at him and wink and you just see this confused look flash across the DCI’s face,, like lmao why you winking tf is your name park jihoon

Suddenly you lift up your legs and kick the DCI to the floor and Minki kicks away his knife, pulling his hands behind his back and putting on the handcuffs quickly;;

He subdues him fully and then comes over, untied the ropes around your wrists and quickly pulling you into his chest and hugging you hard

And all these emotions overcome both of you and you're just both there;; crying into each others shoulders aw

And you feel it's kind of the right moment to confess like now or never so uhh here goes

‘Hey Minki you know I-’

‘Dont worry, I know and I feel the same way’

hOOLD UP unless you misunderstood that Minki… likes you too okay that makes sense from what the DCI said lmao okay

WAIT YOU'RE HIS LOVE FROM THE LETTER HOLD ON

You feel his arms untangle themselves from you as he leans back and just looks into your eyes before softly pressing his lips against yours and your feelings are confirmed yes;

;It's like fireworks omg cheesy but yes it was meant to be you’re so happy you got dragged along to that case that one day;;

Anyway that DCI is pissed because of the PDA going on in front of him so yall have to s t o p and get this dude back to the police station uhhh

UH SO TIME SKIP

Yall are like couple goals;;

You get promoted to the DCI’s position mainly because Minki’s friend is this Police Chief Hwang;; and Minki agrees to cooperate fully with police investigations but only when its with you uhh bless up

Honestly everyone is jealous of you all of the newbies pray for another annoying PI to appear just so they can experience a love story as cute as yours god bless;;;

;And yall hold the record for most crimes solved!! You go guys!! Power couple alert!!

And yes thats all i have it's 2am i am going this is soft i love Minki thank appreciate my boy

lol i hope this wasn’t terrible i wrote it all so late at night i’ll proof read it tomorrow morning but enjoy;; its 3am nearly now

[roman-reigns-princess]

Sugar and Spice (Roman Reigns): Chapter 1

Chapter 2 Read it on Wattpad Writing Masterlist

Summary: Aasha and Leati lives are intertwined; it began with a simple contract six years ago that led to love and romance. Although they now live together, they lead busy lives that ten to keep them apart for weeks on end.They finally get a week to themselves in one of their favourite cities, Rome, Italy. Aasha has a couple surprises prepared for Leati, but little does she know, he has a couple of huge surprises for her as well.

Warnings (for the fic over all, not specifically this chapter): cis-female OC, 18+, definitely smutty, daddy kink, schoolgirl kink(?), anal play, choking, age difference,  unprotected sex (wrap it up yall), maybe a lil bit of a breeding kink (dont @ me), possibly semi-public sex, idk if this needs a warning but I use his first name in this fic just cause i really love it?

Aasha (OFC) Face Claim: Alia Bhatt (but like thiccer, and w longer hair)

Word Count: 2813

A/N: I wanna thank @reignwithflair​ and @macfizzle​ for helpin me out w this fic, and giving me some bomb ass ideas. Legit had this fic in my drafts since like June, but thanks to them i finally got it started properly. I originally wanted it to be more focused on their sugar relationship, but i added too much romance so like idk what to even call this fic anymore im sorry yall

Tag List: @macfizzle @reignwithflair @hoodgirl163 @vivalavonvon @imagines–assemble @spidermans-l-o-v-e-r@lavitabella87 @queenreignsempire @ziasaph @vanity1385@itsnethbellins @itsilovelukehemmings@randomfandompenguin @mrsamberlopezgoodanoai @harrystacowwe@hoshithehotspur @flawlessglamazon@inkedirishbbydoll-blog-blog @miss-limited-edition @kakakatey@moneypowergloryfameliquorlove@romanxreignz @firered82 @southernbelle91@reigningxo @littledeadrottinghood @cute-face-chubby-waist @arrowtothecrown@roman-reigns-truth @romansambrose @it-is-reigning-men @fictionalabyss @cool-snowball-22-blog

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Tucking her phone and room key into her purse, Aasha made her way to the elevator to go down to the bar in the hotel. Leati's flight wouldn't land for at least another half hour, meaning he'd probably get to the hotel in an hour.

She had arrived earlier in the day, and spent most of it preparing a surprise for him, going through the internet, and asking friends who had experience; she figured she'd treat herself a little before he got here.

She'd known for a while now that Leati had a thing for the whole school girl outfit, and Aasha had  been getting more and more curious about trying anal, though she hadn't said anything about it to Leati.

Over the past month or so she had been working her way up from the smallest anal plug, looking up how to do enemas properly, and talking to experienced friends. She'd also been putting together the perfect outfit for him, choosing each article of clothing separately to fit the idea she had in mind.

However, both their schedules had been too busy and they'd barely seen each other for the past 3 weeks. They were finally getting a whole week to themselves, and Leati suggested that they spend it in Rome at the renowned Westin Excelsior.

The Westin Excelsior was a stunning hotel that stood right in the middle of Rome; the architecture reminiscent of Ancient Roman palaces. The building itself was six stories tall, with a dome on top of one corner. Leati had, as usual, booked the biggest, most luxurious suite; the Villa La Cupola took up a good portion of the fifth and sixth floor of the hotel, including the dome.

Aasha's eyes nearly popped out of her head when she first walked into their villa. The living room was huge, decorated with a beautiful fresco; the velvety red curtains hanging from the floor to ceiling windows were drawn, allowing the sun to brighten up the room and warm up the marble floors.

It had its own kitchen, dining room, studio, and even a private gym, but her favourite feature was the Roman bath style Jacuzzi on the sixth floor that led to a terrace over looking the city, with St. Peter's Basilica in the distance.

The bedroom was another work of art; the floors covered with a beige and brown carpet that had red and peach designs curling across, matching the furniture, and heavy curtains.

There was a king sized bed pushed back against the wall, positioned so that the sun lit up the pristine white sheets; it was high enough that she needed to hop up onto it. The four posts around the bed were painted a bright gold that was offset by the gold patterned red drapes hanging off of them.

The rest of the hotel was just as beautiful, with its marble flooring, and artwork. She wandered around a little, admiring the beautiful paintings, and statues that decorated the different hallways before asking one of the staff to point her in the direction of the bar.

The bar was fairly empty, with only a small group of people occupying a corner of the room. Aasha hopped up onto one of the leather clad bar stools and ordered a cherry martini from the bartender. She thanked the bartender and gave him the room number to open a tab.

As she sat at the bar enjoying her drink, her mind began to wander back a few years to when she was in a similar place, waiting to meet Leati for the first time.

Aasha sat at the table of a fancy restaurant, her delicate fingers running up and down the stem of her glass as she waited for him. She had never been this nervous before, especially since she'd never done anything like this before either.

She was barely into her first year of college, and she was switching her major to photography, something her parents were not willing to financially support. Aasha didn't want to take student loans, but fortunately, her friend had told her about the arrangement she had with her sugar daddy, and Aasha had decided to give it a shot.

She had made it explicitly clear that she wasn't willing to do anything sexual for money; coming from a religious, Indian family, she had done barely anything more than kissing. She didn't really care about waiting till marriage to have sex, but she wasn't comfortable with the idea of having her first time be with some random guy who payed her for it.

It came as quite a surprise to her when Leati contacted her. She'd expected him to be less attractive, and much older than he was; granted he was about 10 years older than her, but he was only in his late 20s.

He had given her basic information about himself, and what he would want out of an arrangement, and they had agreed to meet face to face before finalizing anything. He was one of the founders of a major security company that often provided bodyguards to the highest ranking people, and he simply wanted someone to attend work functions with him without the hassle or drama of courting someone.

She was so lost in her thoughts that when a large hand gently gripped her shoulder she jumped, nearly knocking her virgin strawberry daiquiri over in the process; she looked up at the owner to find Leati Anoa'i looking down at her.

"Hi, you must be Aasha, I'm Leati," he said, flashing her a smile.

Her lips parted a little as her eyes drank him in, he was even more beautiful in real life, and certainly more intimidating if he wasn't smiling. He wore a grey suit with a red tie, his hair was slicked back into a bun, and he was clean shaven except for his mustache and goatee.

She blinked a couple times before realizing she was staring at him, she hurriedly stood up and held out her hand, a blush spread across her face as it finally occurred to her that she had no idea what she was supposed to do.

"I-um, yeah-it's good to meet you," she stuttered, biting the inside of her cheek for that. Her face turned redder as he chuckled and gently wrapped his hand around her fingers and pressed a light kiss on her knuckles.

"Pleasure's all mine, babygirl," he replied, letting go of her hand so they could both take a seat. "So, what would you like to eat?"

They spent the rest of the evening talking, and getting to know each other. He was one of three of the major owners of the company, he lived in Tampa about 45 minutes away from her, and he traveled a lot. By the end of the night, Aasha was relaxed, and comfortable enough around him to explain what she wanted, and what she was willing to do.

They didn't have any clashing needs, and he was more than happy to tell her that he'd draw up an agreement as soon as possible for the both of them to sign. He didn't seem to care that she wanted to keep their relationship platonic, but he did say once that if she wanted to go further he wouldn't be opposed to it.

Setting down her empty glass, she left a generous tip for the bartender, and slowly began to make her way back up to the room.

Over time her and Leati's relationship had evolved. They had become good friends, and she stuck with him through two attempted hostile takeovers by his partners even when he tried telling her he didn't want her caught up in that. He started bringing her to family gatherings, stating that he wanted his mother to stop bugging him about settling down. She got to know his family, his twin cousins who became his new partners, and even became close friends with his sister-in-laws, Trinity and Kecia.

As they spent more time together, she started to develop feelings for Leati, but her fear of rejection kept her silent, until one day she got a little too tipsy at an event and ended up confessing to him in the car.

Leati had a firm grip on Aasha's waist as they made their way down the steps of the hotel; he was glowering from the incident moments ago, one hand clenched into a fist at his side. Aasha couldn't help the shiver of fear that ran through her when she looked up at him, the only other time she'd seen him this angry was when Colby tried to wrest the company from Leati.

She'd known that this conference was a bad idea, she tried telling Leati that the McMahons would probably send Lopez as their representative to hopefully throw him off or simply to sew discord, but Leati's stubborn Italian pride wouldn't let him back down from this. To his credit, he managed to keep a lid on his emotions for most of the conference, that is until the farewell dinner.

Leati had left her alone momentarily to go to the restroom, which gave Colby the opportunity to slink up to her with that typical half smirk etched into his face. She gave him a polite smile and took a large sip of her champagne, not wanting to stir up any shit when they were so close to leaving.

"It's been too long, Aasha, you're looking good," she cringed as Colby's eyes took their time looking her over. "We never talk anymore, not even a Happy New Year text?"

"That's your own fault, Lopez," she glared at him, she wanted to get up and leave but there were people standing around the table, blocking her off; the only exit was past the man leering at her. "No one forced you to stab us-him in the back."

"Us? Did you guys finally hook up? Or is it still purely platonic?" he scoffed, not even bothering to acknowledge everything else she'd said.

"N-no, we're just good friends, something you obviously know nothing about," she bit back, taking another gulp of her drink.

"So you're not off the market? Cause I assure you, I can be a very good friend," Colby's smirk widened into a malicious smile as he leaned in, a hand coming to rest on her bare knee. She recoiled with disgust, ready to throw her drink in his face when she felt a  larger hand grab her arm, pulling her up and away from him.

She looked up to see Leati glaring at his former partner; Colby had the good sense to look somewhat scared as he stood up and subtly tried to back away. For each step he took back, the large Samoan took two forward.

"Hey, hey, listen, he's not worth it, let's just leave," Aasha pleaded, tugging at his arm. She tried not to shiver as he looked at her, his infamous volcanic rage simmering in his eyes. "Please."

"Fine," he said, giving Lopez one last scathing look before turning on his heel to march off with his arm around Aasha's waist. She texted the driver to meet them at the front as they made their way through the halls of the hotel.

They came to a stop at the entrance, waiting for the driver to pull up with their limo. Aasha turned to Leati, unbuttoning his jacket to slide her arms around him as she buried her face in the crook of his neck. A startled sound bubbled in his throat, but he hugged her back, kissing the top of her head. They stayed like that until the car drove up.

"I'm sorry," Leati said as he settled in next to her; she looked up at him in surprise. "I know you hate it when I get mad, I just couldn't stand the fact that he put his hands on you, I didn't mean to scare you."

"No, it's okay, you could never scare me, it was actually kinda hot," she mumbled the last part, her face heating up at the confession. She buried her face in his shoulder when his serious expression turned into a smirk. She arched into him as he slid a hand up her spine to grab her hair and pull her head back.

"You think it's hot?" he asked, a dangerous gleam in his eyes as he leaned in closer so that his face was inches from hers. "I-"

She cut him off with a kiss, her hands grabbing his shoulders to pull him closer. His arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her onto him so that she was straddling his lap. She teasingly bit his lip, eliciting a deep growl from him. She pulled away to look up at him, the both of them panting a little as they stared at each other wide eyed.

"I think I love you," she blurted.

Aasha chuckled at the memory as she walked into the VIlla; back then she had been mortified, but thinking back to it now it seemed rather funny.

Glancing at her phone she saw that she had 40 more minutes till Leati got there. It would be just enough time to shower, and finish the final steps for her surprise. She took a quick 15 minute shower, then hopped out to grab the lube and one of her plugs. She decided to go with one of the smaller ones with a pink diamond on the top because she didn't want to deal with any discomfort.

After working it in, she left the lube in the drawer of a nightstand by the bed, slipped on a shorter baby pink silk robe, and went back to the bathroom to dry off her hair. She finished just in time to hear the door to the Villa opening and closing.

"Aasha?" Her face lit up as she heard Leati's deep voice. She let out a shriek of happiness, rushing out of the bathroom to find him setting his bags down in the bedroom. She practically jumped into his arms, making him laugh as he picked her up with one arm; much to her delight he had grown his beard out, but it also tickled her skin as he buried his face in her neck. "I missed you too, babe."

"God you look so good, it feels like it's been forever, I hate being apart for that long, promise me we won't have to spend more than a week apart again, Lea," she mumbled, giving him a deep kiss to show him just how much she missed him; his chest rumbled against her as he chuckled at the nickname she'd used.

"I dunno if I can promise that, but I'm sure if you gave the Board a good talkin to, they'll see things your way," he joked, walking to the bed to set her down. She pulled back to give him a mock glare before grabbing the front of his shirt to bring him in for another kiss.

His large hands roamed over her thighs, pushing up her robe as he massaged her soft skin; her own hands were busy rediscovering his strong chest, enjoying the warmth that she had desperately missed over the past few weeks, when he pushed her back with a quick shove before dropping to his knees to push her legs apart. She was about to let him when she remembered that she'd prepared surprises for him.

"Wait! No, I, uh," she said, hurriedly sitting up and clamping her legs shut. Leati gave her the cutest pout as he stood up. "I'm sorry, its just I got you a couple surprises but I haven't finished putting them together. Why don't you go take a shower, I'll be done by then."

"I GUESS I can wait a little while longer," he sighed dramatically, giving her a kiss and a grin. "You better be done by the time I'm out, cause I'll fuck you right where you stand, got it?"

"Yes, Daddy," she said with a cheeky smirk as she pushed him towards the bathroom. He gave her one last kiss, and landed a smack on her ass before walking into the shower.

Aasha dug through her bag, pulling on the outfit she had put together; a white button up shirt tucked into a flow-y black skirt that barely covered her ass, white thigh high socks held up by black thigh garters, and a loosely tied black tie. She could hear her boyfriend getting out of the shower and turning on the hair dryer which gave her just enough time to brush her own hair out and pull it up into two ponytails.

She just finished tucking her brush away, and unbuttoning the top 3 buttons of her shirt when the bathroom door opened and out stepped Leati in nothing but a towel.

[bigbrothernetflix-st]

EPISODE THREE

“this was literally one of the worst decisions i've ever had to make so now i'm just kinda pissed off!” - nash

HOH: Nash UPSIDE DOWN: Joey & Saira NOMINEES: Brianna & Gina POV: Jacob FINAL NOMINEES: Emma & Gina EVICTED: Gina (11-1), Jake (WALK)

ARIA

https://youtu.be/SyHPQkbxxw8

JOEY

WATCH THIS AGE LIKE MILK:

I feel great!!!!! Nash winning means my ass aint going up, I gave her 2 tokens, and she gave me 1, and I feel fantastic heading into this week

SAIRA

i feel okay about nash being hoh, she wasn't my first choice but i don't think im in any danger of being nominated (hopefully haha) im not sure who i WOULD want to be nominated, i just know who i wouldn't want, so as long as they're okay i'm good!

JEV

I'm once again feeling pretty good this week. I've grown pretty close to Nash since nominating her in week 1 and she told me and Nathan we aren't going up so, there's that! She's told me Gina is going up and will be her target which I'm not thrilled about but hopefully Gina can pull some miracle and win POV. I'm a little worried about Emma and Jake too, as they've both said they haven't spoken to her much which is dumb, bc like hello??? its week 3, i feel esp with Jake, I can understand Emma bc Nash keeps leaving her on read but I don't think Jake has even tried much (crying emoji) So hopefully they can ALSO pull something out

JAKE

FUCK MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i hate everyone in this game t b h. why can't people just follow with a plan and go through with it like it aint that hard to put your chips on one person from your alliance so youre all safe like........ i dont think these ppl understand strategy and it's TIRING. i frankly am over people relying on their friendships to get themselves through another week bc fucking nash won an alliance-based hoh comp. now we have to deal w this fucking friend group running the house another week. i don't know if i'm safe i'm honestly probably going to be put up??? even tho nash is the one that CONSTANTLY ignores my PMs even tho ive given her paragraphs to respond to... she's gonna do whatever her little friends want her to do. i mean that's what she literally said to me. i was like pls don't nom me <3 and she was like "im not making any promises im just doing whatever the house wants me to do" like girl............ lkjghklsdfjhg what kind of dumbass bullshit response was that. just tell me you're putting me up or you're not. youre a big girl you can make your own fucking decisions.

i give nash what i would give any hoh if they won and that is "i'd never ever nominate you it's never even crossed my mind" and hoping that's enough to make her wanna keep me. she might think im not going after her but, if she's smart, she'll send me out the door this week before i can retaliate. 

im super super worried that jacob will be like oh jev n jake aligned in BBHOS9 u should put them up together since jev nominated you week 1. like i feel like she'd do ANYTHING jacob tells her at this point cuz shes just another one of his sheep so like hoping im good w jacob but he's such a wildcard idfk

at this point im just hoping me or emma don't get put up and if we do there will be a veto to be won and a nash/jacob to come after next so...... period

ARIA

yall i feel so fucking cracked and tired of everything but itS FINE!!! I got this easy peasy!! Im not going to always feel motivated but im doing my best and thats valid baby!!! So lets jump in, first off lets start with a random information dump of things i've collected

-jacob has talked about me w/ nicholas during pasio

-monty and jacob have a connection ( i dont even remember how)

-nathan nash (maybe jacob) obviously tight lmao

-joey monty close

-Jake made a counter alliance to Jacob's (actually joshes) alliance made of me gina saira emma and josh

-josh emma me alliance

-JOEY RECORDS CALLS

-Jake is wary of nathan (but also thinks hes cute ugh)

-told jake im wary of pasio peeps so he might nom them

-Jacob alliance STILL isnt created

-called with josh and told him that jacob is wary that the alliance isnt made yet

-jacob josh have a pregame

-told josh, saira and nick have a pregame

-josh kiki close

-josh thinks saira is a social threat 

-josh prefers jev over nathan

-told monty to talk to jake more

-told joshua jacob is the most connected person

-got back to nash gina doesnt like her

-jacob kiki nash confirmed trio alliance

-nash told jev gina is the target (jev then told jake)

-josh thought jacob was the original maker of the alliance

-jake thinks jacob/josh are snakes

-jake also thinks jacob-josh-nash-kiki-bri-nick-nathan are an alliance

-josh wants to play the middle w/ me :uwu:

 So from here I want to get into how my ideal week will go and how it will realistically go. IDEALLY Nash noms jev and josh with them not winning veto and the house gets rid of a utr social threat but realistically its gonne be gina and jake with gina going bc she doesnt talk to anyone of have any motivation for this game (I LITERALLY WROTE HER A PARAGRAPH TO SEND TO NASH TO NOT BE NOMINATED AND SHE GOES "hmm idk maybe ill send it" LIKE????) 

Okay the other thing im freaking out about is bc i feel like theres tension between me Jacob Josh and Jake and im not sure what it is about. I mean i kinda do but im missing key components. The whole situation just doesn't sit right with me at all and I feel very at odds with them in a weird kinda way. I've explained this so many times but i have such a bad feeling that josh leaked the janelle alliance to jacob and is more with him than me and now josh is setting these two sides against each other and i just heard from him that nash isnt nomming him so now im really uncomfy ughhhh i have such a bad feeling and i really need to work on people like jev saira monty to make sure i have people behind me i can fall back on, but also im getting the vibe jake really really trusts me which is great because i want to go far with him as well, unless hes just misting me SUPER hard ughhh

god i just have such a bad feeling about this week buts its fINE totally fine ill work it out eventually,,,but now its trust ranking time yay

1.Gina (youre so inactive i adore you!)

2.Joshua (kid GANG!!! thank you for trusting me sometimes <3)

3.Jake (hes a crackhead but hes my crackhead)

VERY BIG GAP

4.Emma (shes chilling what a lovely gal)

5.Monty (better inactive than be active and a threat)

6.Nathan (youre kinda sketchy but hes like a funky older brother)

7.Josh (youre at the center of a balancing act i wonder if u can keep it up)

8.Nick (they always give such an honest vibe,,,,,i dont trust it)

9.Brianna (shes so sweet but the sweetest angels make the fiercest demons)

10.Jev(,,,,your on slightly thicker ice than joey but combined with a little more charisma)

ANOTHER GAP WOOT WOOT

11.Joey (youre on THIN fucking ice buddy,,,,please be more open w/ me)

12.Saira (im begging for u to talk game to me,,, but also since we havent talked u cant snake me yet)

13. Jacob (idk ily sm but youre so fcking connected and idk if i reached ur inner circle yet)

14. Kiki (my favorite furry)

15.Nash (please talk to me im begging ill do anything please plsease plaease plae-)

So update ive been talking around and wow this game loves looking at my allies and kicking them in the kneecaps while spitting in their eyes ugh. So nash is probably leaning towards nomming jake and Gina with gina as the target (really weird that jake is nommed makes me think jacob had some influence there) but in that scenario best case is that veto is used and anyone but josh goes up and that person leaves easy fucking peasy!! Anyway i just talked with josh and apparently jacob was the one who came up with the alliance idea which is interesting bc he tried to pin it on josh. Anyways not to totally contradict my initial rant but me and josh had a really good chat where we're kinda in the same position between two groups (the og alliance and janelle) and we dont know if we should make the og alliance and with who bc of janelle so we're struggling to see whats the correct move from here....or maybe josh is completely misting me but i fucking hope not ugh- either way im surviving this week and thats that!!

JEV

I'm realising that I'm getting myself into a pretty tight position since I have firm alliances with Emma & Jake and Nash & Nathan, as well as being extremely close to Josh C, which could prove difficult for me down the line, but I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

KIKI

https://youtu.be/6cn8xUFWqhA

BRIANNA

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1XvZzg3dTEZ89VeFbG3bxk4JFNtr7Ixm0/view?usp=sharing 

i had to use google drive bc it wouldn't take my file on youtube :((((

JEV

So right now I've somehow accidentally wriggled my way into conspiring with Nash on how best to take Gina out, which is so dumb of me because I don't really want to see Gina leave this week, but at the same time I'm having to fight Nash's decision because she wants to put Emma up beside her and... I can't let that happen because I'm worried Emma would leave over Gina

JEV

So I'm speaking to Nash, taking the heat off of Emma by telling her I feel she could be a number for me/her/Nathan down the line, and now I'm pushing for Brianna to go up since Nash wants someone who 100% wouldn't leave over Gina and I'm thinking like... WHO would vote to evict Brianna, but at the same time I'm feeling super terrible about it because Brianna is a literal angel

JEV

Wow a lot going on so I'm trying to update as best I can, Nash is saying she's going to randomise for who goes to the upside down so I'm having to encourage her not to include me or Nathan in the randomisation just incase she needs us for strategising but REALLY its so I can stay and hang around and try my best to keep Emma from touching the block at all this week.

NASH

sorry for nominating women i didnt mean it.

EMMA

If i am being honest the more this game goes by i get so unmotivated and its only week 3 i suck because well in bbgames like galar and almia i mostly played from the bottom now im like alright i kinda want to fuck up my game for fun but kinda pisses me off a bit that i almost could of been nominated if it wasnt for jev but that pisses me off so much i tried talking to nash but i get left on read i dont take things 100x personal unless if somebody is being mean like laughing etc but knowing that i would be on the block over brianna when i did try talking to nash its still hurts a little but if somebody like gina wins veto if i get on the block it issss what it isss i guess but i played on the bottom way to many times maybe i can do this??

JEV

So my efforts worked and Brianna went up instead of Emma, now I've just gotta hope neither of the noms win POV/that the POV isn't used so I don't have to throw someone elses name out there to Nash :flushed:

JOSH

hello ladies and gays. straights aren't welcome here.

today, we are feeling GOOD because the person we nominated just a few days ago won power and STILL didn't nominate me. is that iconnery or what? i was honestly ready for my ass to be TOAST but i did approach nash before they won HOH and had a conversation about where we stood and they said i would be OKAY this week bc we did start talking. we love to see it, yes we do!

the nominees this week are gina and brianna and.. even though i'm in two different alliances with both of them, i'm not mad at either of them going up. i don't REALLY talk with either and i'd be happy to see either one of them go. the tricky part will be figuring out WHO to vote when the time comes, but we have a POV to happen before we get there. we'll SEE.

if i had to choose, i'd probably send brianna home simply because i find her a bit CHAOTIC where i feel like gina isn't really going to cause a lot of waves with me. she's much more quiet whereas brianna is more likely to be able to pick herself back up.

some other fun events going on:

jake was NOT happy about nash winning and thought he was going to get nominated because of it. he was about to RIP nash a new one and is really brewing with how much he hates them. MAKES ME LAUGH A LIL BECAUSE IT WAS SO UNWARRANTED BUT NEVERTHELESS, it's something to note that jake does NOT like nash.

i think aria is my number one right now bc we get along really well and have very similar opinions. i'm really open with how i talk to her so i'm HOPING she's not spilling everything i say to someone else but i don't think she WOULD? i dunno. i love her energy and i'm hoping we can SLICE AND DICE together in the middle.

my strategy is to take my HOH under my belt and take a step back for a minute while my two alliances (one: jake, aria, gina, emma, saira, me & two: jacob, aria, brianna, kiki, me) get picked off back and forth. i'm going to see if i can craft a narrative for them to go after each other but we'll SEE. there are a lot of people in the middle i enjoy a lot more than some of the people in my alliances so IDK. i feel like some people got thrown into these alliances that i did NOT want but they were kind of forced in so i don't trust it. and i think people KNOW because i'm not very chatty abt it in the chats (and i haven't even made one of the chats. am i supposed to? idk)

anyways that's all for now x 

ARIA

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zp71zzR-wgE

someone help

JAKE

https://voca.ro/g2ZQWs9x8du

JEV

Not miss Nash coming to me asking how I'd feel about being renom :flushed:

JEV

So I literally just woke up from a sleep and in the space of 30 minutes have had to talk Nash out of renomming me, Emma or Jake since we've just made an alliance together so I warned her that probably wouldn't work out for us in the long run. We narrowed it down and she shortlisted Aria, Josh C, Monty & Nick, and I have spun her to try and get her to nominate Aria, because 1. I don't wanna see Josh C go up and 2. like with Brianna I feel nobody here would vote to evict Aria, and Nash wants Gina GONE (crying emoji) so I feel this was the only logical renom to suggest.

JEV

The conversation has turned back to Emma and I just really don't wanna let that happen because I do feel like she'd leave over Gina. Part of me is saying not to stick my neck out too much to save Emma but at the same time she's my number 1 in this game and I hope she'd return the favour if she was in my position.

NASH

this was literally one of the worst decisions i've ever had to make so now i'm just kinda pissed off! 

ARIA

Well,,,, FBSFJDF I feel like im making so many of these but honestly this game changes everyday so please dont be too annoyed by me uwu, the mood swing i had just this DAY was insane so lets begin w/ the general info-

IN TIME LINE ORDER

-Jev told jake that something about noms but acted dumb when I asked

-Gina/Joshua/Aria alliance created!!

-Saira and Josh are close

- VIDEO DR GOES HERE

-Jake spills Emma-Jev-Nathan-Nash-Jake alliance with Emma/Jev/Jake being a trio as well= Jev created the alliance

-Jev prefers gina out

-jake doesnt believe in screenshots or recording calls

-Jev and Jake are close

-Jev/Jacob/Jake all played together before

-I leaked Bri's backups to Jake as well as Jacob's trio with Nash and Kiki

-nash almost backdoored jev bc he wasnt responding to her

-jev was the reason i was almost otb

-I WAS ALMOST OTB

-Josh AND Jacob both want Jake out

-Bri thinks nash's comp ability is scary

-Nash and Nick are close 

-Jacob nervous about Bri's backup leaking

-Jacob barely talks w/ saira and monty

-made a final three w/ jacob josh called malibu

So now im debating whether its morally okay for me to analyze what happened in the living room in a game sense. FBSdffan So lets run down things in chronological order and I might mention my thoughts if they arent too controversial, Nathan leaks the alliance with jev/nash/jake/emma. Eventually emma says 'i wanna know who put these thoughts in the hohs head" and nick starts to shut the discussion down which is an interesting contrast to their earlier attitude where they were very for the drama continuing, which leads me to begin they had some sort of hand in it. Nathan goes on to say he likes nash on a personal lvl which jake analyzes as a nod to a friendgroup and a mini confrontation between nathan and jake occur. I believe that part was just a misunderstanding on both parties account. Then happy discussion until Jake calls nash out for being in the diary session for too long which leads to a discussion of house guests over analyzing production and using that as a strategy which is ultimately unfair and also at this time I believe nash was going through itTM leading to their friends to be slightly defensive on their behalf (which is valid) and i after rereading things i really hope that they're okay, ultimately this leads up to frustration on Jake's part and his ultimate quit. 

I mean where do i go from here? I have the Bri's angels but that did get leaked to Emma on Jake's way out so i need to figure some way to micromanage that where i think im gonna make a emma jev alliance and work with them as a trio in the future (if gina goes) but rn i feel like this force of energy that is Bri's backups is gonna body for a bit but i think theyre gonna throw hoh leading me jev or emma to step up and body a bit. Like i think i might actually win hoh and nom nash and monty with a nick potential renom bc im BORED and nash continuing to skate by without even talking to me is not valid, and monty is so not here its like??? HEWWO??? but idk thats making big moves i may just chill a bit for now but i dont want jev and emma being targeted in the future bc theyre gonna be numbers for me and thats on PEWIOD!

HOST WEEKLY CAST ASSESSMENT

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L25lY813N1k&list=PLFEwPPy8j010XXwntq80VSU0qLNTNpSIN&index=4&t=0s

[ts-akhmim]

Episode 1 | Part.2 “GET YOUR BOTTLES OUT YOUR BONGS YOUR CRACK” - Adam

GET YOUR BOTTLES OUT YOUR BONGS YOUR CRACK WHATEVER YOU WANNA CELEBRATE WITH GORLS BECAUSE WE DID IT!!! I've offically conquered my biggest fear of playing in any of these games for the third time in a row, i will NOT be the first boot! I also am keeping my own lil personal record of never having to go to the first tribal council of the season which is wig, although idk lmao i kinda wanted to go to tribal just because im gonna be honest, i want to PLAY the game. Right now everyone is still kinda in that annoying honeymoon woohoo go team phase, which granted I do want us to keep up for the numbers, but ... im bored. im trying my best to keep up and be in the social circle but i swear actually talking to other people is probably one of the hardest things for me, especially the whole call culture thing like oh gorl i dont even like talking to my grandma on the phone, like im all for group calls but when people message me wanting to do 1 on 1 calls? uh.... my commitment issues jumped out. I hope that doesnt hinder me in the game because im really trying my best with what ive got to make friends and hope people just dont hate me and wanna vote me out, but i still feel like im not doing enough. Maybe im just being hard on myself, ive been having good convos with AJ, Augusto, and Amir, kinda Austin too, but then i feel bad I haven't connected as much with Connor or Kendall, but i do enjoy them on the tribe. My strategy now is gonna be to just work on my social game since we wont have to go to tribal, maybe tone down my dying urge to just wanna strategize, especially because my first time i played i spent too much time talking game and not enough getting to know the people and it ultimately cost me in the end. But i'm also concerned no one is talking game with me really but amir and aj so like.... i literally STILL have no idea how half these people feel about each other from a game perspective, which is okay i guess ,ill be patient, keep my fake smile on and haha hehe'ing with everyone, but just know i have my knife in my boot and im READY to whip it out whenever. But not tonight, we did good, so now i can focus my energy back on this DAMN TOMB. see yall at 2:29 am on the dot!

YAY. I get to enjoy my first day off EVER in tumblr survivor. im so so happy even though i definitely overdid it in this comp and got too much attention on me but... whew. just gotta wriggle my way back under the radar now

So, I’m actually not surprised that we lost. I had a gut feeling that we were going to lose just based off of everyone’s activity and performance in the challenge. First tribal always sucks because no one wants to be the first person voted out. Luckily, I don’t think it’ll be me just because I think I have solid connections with everyone. Devon and I had another call where he told me I was his number one ally in the game. Isaac also told me that he and Trace want to both work with me. And I’m also in the DADS-R-US alliance with Autumn/Duncan/Devon. I have connections with almost everyone on the tribe, so I hope that after this tribal we don’t lose another challenge cause then that’s where things are going to be tricky. For this vote, I think it would be best for Bodhi to leave. He gave the worst score for the challenge, not to mention I really haven’t communicated with him much. From conversations that I’ve had with Devon, Isaac, and Trace, they also seem like they are on board with Bodhi. Now the next part is just to convince Autumn and Duncan to vote out Bodhi too. If it’s unanimous, it’ll show that our tribe is more united going forward. I think that’s the easy vote going forward, mainly because I think I have solid connections with everyone else on the tribe so I would hate to ruin those connections going into a swap. I have the DADS-R-US Alliance with Autumn, Devon, & Duncan. I like all of them so I’m glad it’s a thing. I feel like I vibe with all of them and it really solidifies that there’s a majority within the tribe. I do feel bad that Isaac and Trace aren’t in it, just because they’re definitely down to earth people. I can see Trace being a threat long term, so I mainly feel bad that Isaac isn’t included. I like the DADS Alliance, the only concern I might have is that Autumn/Duncan seem to be close so that’s something I need to look out for. Devon says I’m his number 1, but I kind of get the vibe that he might betray me around mid-merge just because it seems like he’s trying to play a big UTR game. So that’s something else I want to think about in the back of my mind. Overall, I feel like everything else is self-explanatory. I feel like after the first night, people just kind of got quieter and quieter. I’m hoping that everyone will be on board with voting out Bodhi and that I don’t end up being #blindsided at the first tribal. Cause that would be awful.

Night number 3, ive done my research, studied up on my questions, i basically AM an egyptian now, only for me to get my ass back on the path to the tomb for the 3rd time, only to get all the questions right and see the pedestal is EMPTY. Meaning there's a few scenarios that couldve happened. Clearly I was too slow, and my honest hunch is someone found this damn thing night one, no one has said anything to me, and i feel like ive had decent conversations with the people i semi trust? My first instinct says it could be amir because me and him were both going non STOP on looking for that idol night 1 and then he never mentioned it to me again, which granted i didnt say shit to him when i found it so touche on that one, hopefully he has it and just doesnt want to tell anyone which i wouldnt mind, or aj could have it which i really would hope he doesnt and is lying to me about it because clearly that would be bad because itd make me think he wants to use it against me, but i dont think aj has it. Everyone else is a wildcard, I wouldnt be surprised a bit if connor or kendall have it, there's a reason to me why everyone could have it so im not gonna let it drive me crazy, clearly im just not in the know about it with whoever has got it and thats JUST fine and dandy.... I know how to play this game with or without idols in my possession, whoever has it might have a bit of a head start on me, but trust and believe it's only day 3 the shenanigans have just begun dahling. Now that just means I have to REALLY be on my A game, it'll be a bit of a tricky challenge navigating around the idol, especially in a tribe of 7, but much like everything else in my life, im gonna suck it up and make it work, so whoever you are that's got it, you better beware of me! Because now I know you got it! And if I got a lead that's all I need to cause some chaos, in fact I think im gonna go do that now, I wanna talk to everyone who might not have found the way to the tomb yet and let them know someone got it already, create some paranoia and maybe make sure the target isn't on my back but we'll see, like i said when i get bored i get creative

okay so i'm already really anxious KJLASDF. i really am mad at myself for getting the highest score in the challenge, that was so stupid. next challenge i somehow have to wriggle my way backwards, because being a winner with the highest score? what was i thinking that was suchhhh clownery ugh. well. i need to tone it down 100%

Deep down, I almost prefer losing the first competition for two reasons: 1. You can weed out the weakest member of your tribe (almost like cutting the fat off the meat) 2. You are able to test tribe loyalty from the start. If you win a bunch of comps and go into a swap with numbers, that's great, but you will always be itching to actually play the game. Those without tested loyalty will have a hard time adjusting against those that have been forced to play already. In terms of the vote, it sounds like everyone wants to take it easy and vote out Bodhi. That is fine, but I'm not thrilled about it. I feel like Isaac would have made a better first boot considering his messages are somewhat dry and he has more connections across the current cast. However, it doesn't make sense to cause a rift right now. Pending an idol play, this should be a remotely easy round for the tribe. -Slithers-

cast assessment: the brawn tribe is losers. who the fuck wins a challenge lol. fucking losers.

but i like ali and im excited to play with jordan pines. the beauty tribe is FULL of former allies of mine. Augusto, Connor, Amir, AJ, and whoever else? they're all people i've worked with (maybe aside from aj i dont remember tbh). So far I'd say im alligned with everyone on my tribe to an extent. Isaac and I have a night one alliance, but I think I have to cut him this round... Fuck. I love Autumn and Duncan, and I like Devon and Scott. Trace I'm indifferent to, and I'd be happy to see him go, but idgaf if he stays. Right now im trying to find the idol with isaac, while im not telling isaac that he's gone if he doesn't find it and play it. Ideal scenario: isaac finds the idol and we idol out trace 6-1 ( i want to protect myself from being seen as helping isaac).

Bodhi is driving me insane. First he blows the challenge and now he's like gone on a mad dash to get into the Tomb, which is probably boobie trapped to hell btw. I'm just kinda over him being here like he pulls me aside Day One and tells me he wants to work with me and then I hear from Trace that not only is Bodhi writing my name down but thinks everyone else is going along with it. I hope Bodhi doesn't have the idol; but in the event he does I'm thinking about throwing a vote on someone else to make it a 5-1-1 as a contingency. Bodhi if you read this I'm sorry buddy that you might be a 2 time first boot but I can't help you and I don't think I really want to. I'm just praying I survive this round.

I have not been the best in explaining myself in these confessionals huh… but let’s do a recap for y’all <3

Day 1 went by super fast but the good thing about my social game is that I do make a good first impression on people and I think that ultimately helped me get my footing so far? Within the first hour or so of talking to Kendall, she suggested we become an alliance. At first I was taken aback like MA’AM you don’t know me like that… but I of course said yes because why deny an alliance yknow? I do like Kendall though, so it was nice that she quickly decided she wanted to join forces in the game. Connor and I reconnected from our time in Socotra and we were dropping hints of protecting one another in this game, which was nice. Amir and I clicked INSTANTLY like it was insane how well we meshed together yknow? I would consider him my #1 ally so far and I know for a fact the feeling is reciprocated but I do wanna keep an eye out for him because he’s gonna be incredibly dangerous in this game. Adam and I also clicked super quickly due to our love of skinny legendt herself Mariah Carey and we are basically the same person. Austin and I did talk for a bit over our love of similar stuff which was cute. I had the hardest time clicking with AJ. Overall, I had 2 solidified partnerships, 1 unknown partnership, and then a good vibe with mostly everyone else. Day 2 was big to say the least! Amir had let me know that he was the closest to me and Adam during the beginning of the day. He later mentioned Kendall once the alliance was made. So for me, Amir’s connections are me > Kendall > Adam > Connor > Austin/AJ. Adam had told me that I was one of his faves to talk to so yay for that. Austin had also told me that I and Kendall were his faves to talk to. So… here I am thinking that I am doing THAT in the game ngl and then Connor asks me “lowkey like we’re gonna work together right” which I already assumed but said ofc. He then told me Kendall wanted to make an alliance with us two, herself, and Amir. I am totally for this as my 3 close personal alliances basically combine into one alliance which is nice. That being said, the others were trying to think of a fake 5th member to add and it’s a little early to quickly add one person to it. We need more time to feel people out and whatnot, but it did seem interesting that Amir suggested Adam and Kendall suggested Austin given what both had told me way earlier in the day. I would prefer Adam personally as I do feel like currently, Kendall is the most connected and strongest socially in the game just based on my observations. I’d love to think I am a close second but I could be delusional, I tend to be. But yeah, I’m finally in a majority alliance which is cute. And that’s what you missed on Glee <3

When I tell you that I am SHOOK that I didn’t lose this challenge like… I was expecting to lose ngl so yay for that! Especially since I was one of the top scorers on this challenge… I just hope that excuses my flopping on whatever flash game we get gbhvcnxm but yeah, the thot tribe lost and Bodhi… did so bad like SIR. It is very safe to say he could leave and that makes me sad because I wanted to reunite with him and do some potential damage. I do hope he made an alliance pretty early because Bodhi is honestly a very nice person so yeah. This tribe got told they won the challenge and disappeared like all I hear is crickets nnnn which kinda sucks but oh well. The shitty thing about me as a player is that I sometimes need a lot of reassurance so I just want these people to hit me up first and see what’s up. We shall see what transpires luv xx

The biggest headache of the season (aside from me) is the idol system like I may only have half a brain cell but I’m exerting all its power on trying to find this thing. The clue said to look around and I’ve looked all over the blog and NOTHING like… I do not know what else I could do and it’s driving me absolutely mad luv xx (‘: not that advantages do me any good ever but I just wanna figure it out ;-;

i’m me finding the link to the tomb right after submitting that confessional is a MOOD. k so i put the link in and sent it to the hosts, they told me that “Unfortunately, you have not entered the Tomb” and after that, the picture I saw had disappeared. So now I’m thrown in for a loop (is that even the correct term? ghfdjsk) because I think that the link/pic is only there at certain times and the first person to find it gains access? It is my theory and i’m sticking to it ofc but now what do I do with this information? I think I will sit on it until I gain access to the Tomb for the first time and then we shall see what happens.

God, I cannot believe we literally got our asses HANDED to us by the other tribes. I actually put a good amount of effort into this challenge so it was a bummer to see that not everybody could hold their weight. But actions have consequences so I guess it makes sense why we're here at tribal council. I really do like all of my tribe mates! There is not a single person on this tribe that I don't want to work with, which makes this whole thing very complicated. Right out of the gate, people were talking about voting Bodhi because of his HORRIBLE performance in the challenge. He came to me right away, calling himself an idiot and hoping I would pity him? I don't tbh, he fucked up and there is no fixing it. I am just kinda pissed because like I understand the concept of procrastination, but we literally had two days to do it and he submitted what, 5 things? Like get a fucking grip idk. So I want him out. It's not a fixable problem for him. I trust Isaac quite a bit. He is def my closest ally at this point. I also really like Scott, even though he fucking ruined me in Maluku. Duncan would be my 3rd. I proposed to them to create a group, and we did. I am hoping that this 4 will help me survive at least a few more pre-swap tribals, but I also feel relatively close to Autumn and Devon too, so really it could swing any way that we want to if Isaac and I are in trouble. Bodhi claims that 6 people are voting for Isaac. I could be that oblivious, but I think that Bodhi is going to get blindsided tonight, which is awkward because how could he not see it coming? Idk, the kid has got some blind ambition lmao. Let us just hope that Isaac and I survive tonight's tribal and then can really this misfit tribe to win a goddamn challenge.

So after my last confessional, the DADS alliance got on call and lowkey there was actual contemplation on whether or not we should vote out Isaac instead of Bodhi? This video below describes me in that moment

So I'm trying to subtlety tell the DADs that I think Bodhi should go over Trace and Autumns the only one that agrees with me on this. Duncan and Devon are like "no we should keep him and get rid of Isaac" and I really didn't want to do that but at the same time didn't want to seem like a dictator. So I told them I'd vote out Isaac if they felt comfortable with that. We couldn't really agree so we decide to sleep on it and reconvene tomorrow. 

Tomorrow comes around and Devon tells me he still wants Isaac out over Bodhi. I'm like "bruh seriously?" so I try to tell him my reasons for wanting Bodhi out but also tell him if he/the group want to do Isaac then I'm down for that. So we wait for Autumn and Duncan and when I get on the call they're telling me they're leaning towards Bodhi which has me happy cause it was what I wanted to do to begin with and I didn't need to make my arguments. We love having great minds that think alike. The big takeaway from this is that Devon is definitely lowkey shady since he was all about Isaac leaving before the call and then suddenly had a change of heart. Anyways, I reach out to Trace and I'm like "oh we're good with Bodhi right? and he purposes an alliance of the two of us, Isaac, and Duncan. Which has me thinking, this could work. I can have Trace and Isaac think they're in the majority alliance to ensure none of them play an idol if we lose. OR, maybe I could use them to get Devon out? So I tell Duncan that Trace wants to have an alliance with us and Isaac and he's all for it. We like being the Kim Spradlin of the season. But then things get shady because Trace tells Duncan and Isaac that I MYSELF purposed the alliance which is not the case. So now I'm on edge with Trace because he wants to build me up as the threat. So if we do lose, I also wouldn't mind voting out Trace and explaining to Isaac that Trace was spreading lies about me which I didn't feel comfortable with so that the alliance of Duncan/Isaac/I could vote out Devon should we continue a losing streak? The only thing I do know is that Bodhi is leaving tonight. Bodhi, if you're reading this I'm sorry for voting you out. You're a cool dude, and I feel bad for not talking to you much until you left. Also I'm sorry for not talking to you about the vote at all today, I feel bad lying plus I was lowkey busy with school work that I procrastinated and finals prep. The only thing I need to do now is figure out how the hell i get into the tomb?

okay so i'm not actually going to tribal but gotta make it all about me and do a round wrap-up? i'm already feeling like this might be my last game i forgot the stress of games. the main thing in this game is that i really like jake? he is SO much fun and i manifested from preseason that i would like him and it happened (i haven't told him i figured out he was cast preseason that feels like it would be too creepy), but i'm just happy i manifested him as a really fun ally and it came true!! i really like him and jordan. also my tribe is scaring me i feel like they want me out and me having an idol does not help with my neurotic panic nnn. for guessing who is gonna go home, i really hope autumn and isaac are safe, duncan too!! i kinda assume it'll be bodhi or devon just because they didn't do too hot in the challenge but we will see for sure

https://youtu.be/LPplZtIK9KM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N7EpyCcQVcM&feature=youtu.be

[ermuellert]

So you're from the United States, right? How did you get into football, I mean it isn't that big over there as for instance in Europe and South America. Don't get me wrong I admire that you love football as much as most of the world does, but you know Americans often seem to... underestimate "soccer". On the other hand most (not all of course) of us dislike american football, so I in no way mean to blame US culture. Anyway I'm just interested in your thoughts and perspective. Lots of love

first of all thank u sm for this ask?? i love anons sm wow okay

i have a feeling this will be a long one and i dont wanna make people suffer so everything’s below the cut! 

yes!! im from the usa youre right about that

i got into football a lil before wc14 when my phys ed class started its ‘soccer’ unit (idk how phys ed classes work for yall but for me its always been that we have different units focusing on baseball, american football, weight training, etc) and i’m a v unathletic person!! but for whatever reason football just rlly clicked with me and i like lowkey rlly fell in love with it idk how to explain it tho its the only sport that i’ve ever enjoyed playing

but anyway that was a solid amt of time before wc14 began and when it did begin i think i just randomly started watching it like it was on tv one day and i was goin thru channels and saw it and was like !!!!! bc it was a sport that i’d just recently fell in love with and i’d always heard about it but never watched so i thought ‘why not’ and ever since i’ve been obsessed!! yikes 

and tbh you’re p right i mean most of the people i know prefer basketball or american football but i do know a handful of people that rlly love football but all of them are people that actually play unlike my lazy ass so theres that 

i think that most of the people i know think football is mostly ‘boring’ like ive had multiple convos with diff people asking me why on earth i watch it when its 90 minutes of guys running around with a ball and im ??? ? but yeah :/ i suppose thats why basketball is considerably more popular but for the rest i literally have no idea bc american football and baseball are pretty boring to me but thats just personal preference lol 

but!! i do think football is becoming more popular here so i’m happy about that!! i just dont think it’ll ever be viewed the same way it is in european countries or if it ever does it’ll take a longass time :/

also what i think is worth noting is that well idk how it is in europe since i dont live there but the football fandom on tumblr is on a totally different level than the fan community irl here at least in my experience lmfao like here we keep up with all the transfer rumors and all the lil dramas in players’ careers and personal lives but if i ever tried to speak about those specific trivial things that i know about random players irl?? smh id get rlly odd looks lemme just say lmfao is it that way in europe?? like do football fans rlly stay on top of things like tumblr football fans do or ?? bc i’ve not had a rlly fulfilling discussion about football irl ever.... :/

wow i just rambled on and on aimlessly for paragraphs big yikes i dont even know if this was a solid response?? hopefully it at least kind of answers things?? lmao

thank u sm again!! js i love receiving asks like this omg ty ty ty ty