#idk what snacks he left her with but clearly she's happy

[austerulous]

◈   @oneiira said:   ❛ 🌳 tj to dez!! ❜  // texting starters.

— 🌳 A HAPPY TEXT.

[ text : BOUNTY ]   DROVE 30 KM 2 GET SIGNAL. IF THIS DOESN'T SEND THROATS R GETTIN SLIT. THE SNAX YA LEFT WERE BONZER. BRING MORE. THAT'S A ROYAL DECREE CUNT. SEE YA NEXT TIME IF THE BOTS DON'T GET ME.

[buckys-wintersoldier]

Evidence of love | B.B

Happy Birthday, Sebby! Since I don’t write RPF anymore, I decided to publish this one. It’s a sweet, fluffy Bucky one.

Dating is something for handsome, beautiful people, isn’t it? But if the trust in yourself is destroyed once, it needs a good idea to proof what real love means.

//Pairing// Avengers!Bucky Barnes x PlusSized!Fem!Reader

//Wordcount// 2.394 Words

//Warnings// shitty ex-boyfriend, Bucky being adorable, talking about weight, feeling insecure because of weight, fluff

//Request// Hey i hope you’re doing well i have an idea for a one shot and was wondering if you could write it. So basically Bucky hears the reader talking to Natasha or anyone that she thinks she’s too heavy for any partner and that she has given up on dating for a while because of that, and of course Bucky hearing that he starts lifting heavy stuff such as weights, machines or even Steve😭 around the reader to show her he can easily lift her weight as well because he has feelings for her and you can add or change whatever you like and make it smutty idk whatever you think is right i trust your skills.

//Authors Note// Thank you for the request, I hope you like it. That’s such a sweet idea and I tried not to change much about it.

//Events// Hot Bucky Summer | Week 4 | Free Week | @buckybarnesevents | Bucky Barnes Bingo | B023 | C4 | Broken | @buckybarnesbingo

// Masterlist | Bucky Barnes Masterlist //

After the breakup with your ex-boyfriend, you found comfort in your room between romantic movies, thick blankets, your favorite clothes, and snacks. You were tired of the whole dating thing, not wanting to get those dick pics anymore or go out with someone who talks hours and hours about himself and the way it’s nice to be vegan.

You always had some soft flesh on your belly and your thighs, but you loved it. You didn’t want to look like a model girl; you liked who you were, but unfortunately, you stopped thinking like that the moment your ex-boyfriend broke up with you.

He used to love the soft flesh on your body, feeling always comfortable when he placed his head on your stomach or loving to grip the soft flesh when he made love to you. He was telling you how pretty and good you are, but that changed at some point, and he talked less positively about you, he didn’t look at you the same way and tried to make you feel ugly — and that’s what he managed to do.

“Y-you did what?” You asked with an open mouth and widened eyes. Your mouth dropped open the moment those words left his lips, and he didn’t even look sorry for what he just did. For a moment, you weren’t sure if you heard him right — not because he didn’t speak clearly, but because you couldn’t believe what he just said.

“You heard me right!” He growled, rolling his eyes. He didn’t even look bothered by it, he didn’t care. Your fear came true, and he said it like it’s nothing, like the relationship the two of you had never meant anything special to him — like cheating never means anything bad, just fun. “Haven’t you looked into a mirror? I thought you would finally notice that you’re fat. What do you think is the reason we aren’t doing anything intimate anymore?”

You swallowed thickly, unsure what to say. There are so many thoughts, but at the same time, none at all. You thought he loved you, thought he liked you the way you are — the way you look, but now it turns out he didn’t love — not even liked it. You never felt so ashamed and self-hatred as you just did. There wasn’t much intimacy between the two of you, but wasn’t it just because of your busy jobs?

The thought of having a bit more flesh in some parts of your body crossed your mind sometimes, when you ordered something and people looked at you, when you were standing in front of a mirror — but actually, the people didn’t really look at you, they were looking around. And in the mirror? You had some more fat on your belly or thighs, but it never looked unhealthy, and it suits you.

He always made sure to assure you that he didn’t mind that you had some more fat, he even liked it. It’s what he said, what you thought, but then he cheated on you and told you you’re fat?

“I- uhm. But why didn’t you tell me?” You asked the first question that came to mind. The first question, which has nothing to do with whoever he fucked — if she looked better, if she made him come better, if he could try more with her. You don’t want to hurt yourself with all those questions, so you just asked the first one that came to mind, excluding her.

“Telling you that you’re fat and ugly? Though you noticed it yourself, it looks like you didn’t. Now get your shit together and don’t make a big deal out of it,” he groaned, annoyed to be stuck in that conversation.

After that conversation, you made a really big deal out of it. You didn’t want to annoy him any further, but he cheated on you. He didn’t cheat on you just one time, he did it over and over again, making sure you hate yourself more than you hate him, blaming you for his mistakes and his decisions — especially when it came to cheating, you were the reason because you didn’t give him what he needed.

First, you tried to accept it and change yourself for him, but he turned more and more into a dick. The love you felt for him slowly faded away, and there was nothing left — no love, no hate — and then you knew you had already moved on without realizing it. You distanced yourself for your own good and were finally able to leave him behind.

Plus, he found a girl, he cheated on you for a while before he thought he wanted to be with her. Luckily, at the time, you didn’t care about him anymore, so it didn’t hurt you. That was around half a year ago, and even though you didn’t care anymore, you haven’t dated someone after him, scared of a man being abusive again.

But since you’re living with the other avengers at the compound, you have enough company around you. You don’t need to date a stranger to be happy, you have your family and friends around you. Plus, the dating apps you tried were weird, getting dick pictures and kind of sex messages wasn’t something you liked — especially if you didn’t really know the person.

Natasha sits next to you on the couch and grins at you. She just shows you another picture of some guy you could date if you want. Ever since you told her about the dating apps, she has tried to find a date for you, but you always say no, except when the picture shows a dog.

“Nat! I don’t want to date this guy. He looks handsome and muscular, but people like him don’t want to be with someone like me,” you say, shaking your head. You moved on after your ex, but ever since, you feel more insecure about your body and the way you look.

“Oh, come on. Do you want to hide because of your ex?” She asks, showing you another picture of a guy who looks pretty similar to the other ones she showed you before — muscular and handsome. “What about this guy?”

“Nat! My ex showed me that I’m fat and ugly, he cheated on me with a model. I don’t think any guy wants to have a girl he can’t even carry or wrap his arms properly around. And I’m good,” you sigh, a soft smile across your lips when you look at your friend.

She shakes her head, knowing that you love being held and close to someone who loves you. You would love to have someone who loves you for who you are and doesn’t mind that you’re not the perfect model size.

Little do you know that Bucky is standing on the floor that leads into the living room, where you and Natasha sit. He overhears your whole conversation with your friend, his hands turn into fists because of your ex, but when he hears you talking about yourself, his heart aches. How can you think about yourself like that? How can you think that no one cares about that all? And he could easily lift you and carry you around?

For him, you’re beautiful and the sweetest girl he has ever met. No one should care if they can carry their girls around or hug them ‘properly’ because there are so many more ways to show love, and hugs are hugs. Plus, Bucky loves it when you allow him to hug you.

The brown-haired man has had a crush on you since forever, and he would love to show you how pretty and perfect you are. He fell in love with you because you’re always so kind and sweet — especially around him, and you always care when you notice that he doesn’t feel too comfortable sometimes.

Bucky would love to show you exactly how much love and care you deserve, so he just smirks to himself after a moment — he has the best idea to show you that he likes you.

The next few weeks, he makes sure to always be around you when you’re training, you mostly run on the treadmill. Bucky uses the heaviest weights to lift them, making sure you see him doing it. He has way more strength than you thought, but his super ability makes it easy for him to lift even the heaviest things.

When the two of you aren’t training, he sometimes moves the chairs or even the couch, telling them it's more comfortable there, even though he just lifted them, walked through the room, and placed them in the same place they stood before.

And when there is nothing to move around the two of you, he picks up Steve, Tony, Thor, or Sam to carry around. Not only to annoy them a bit, but mostly because he wants to impress you and wants you to notice that he wouldn’t have trouble lifting you.

“Bucky?” You ask softly when you find him on the couch in the living room. The other Avengers are currently on a mission, so it’s just the two of you in the tower. He looks up from the television and smiles at you. “Could we talk?”

He nods, patting the spot next to him on the couch, and waits for you to sit down. Bucky notices your worried and slightly confused expression immediately, he shits in his seat, turning to look at you.

“Are you alright?” He asks, his big hand moving over his thighs to yours and staying on your knee.

“I am, but I’m worried about you. You’re lifting so much and often. Do you think you need to train your muscles better, or do you think you’re not looking good?” You ask, placing your own hand on his bigger one. “Because you look handsome and you’re well trained. If there is a woman who wants you to change, she- she isn’t worth your time, then Buck.”

He chuckles softly, sighing softly. You’re so adorable, asking him why he lifts such heavy things and even thinking it’s for a girl — another girl. But you don’t notice that he is trying to impress you, trying to show you that he wants you, even though you have some fluff flesh at your belly and thighs.

“I’m good! I mean, I lift things, and it's for a woman, but not like you think. You remember the conversation you had with Nat as she showed you some pictures of guys you could date?” He asks, rubbing his thumb over your knee.

You nod, narrowing your eyebrows. How can he know about that conversation? Did Nat tell him about it? But your thoughts are interrupted when he gently pinches your flesh to get your attention.

“I heard you two talking. I didn’t mean to, but when she mentioned those guys, you know? However, I—uhm.” Bucky feels his cheeks heat up, he doesn’t know what to say. Maybe he could just kiss you, and then you know what he means. But maybe he is out of practice, or you don’t even want to kiss him. “I don’t want you to think you’re fat or too heavy. You’re pretty and sweet, and when I always lifted the things I just wanted— I wanted to impress you and show you that I could easily lift you too.”

You giggle as Bucky blushes even more. He is such a sweetheart, and you love being around him, you even have feelings for him. But he is a handsome, sweet super soldier, and you are — just you. You don’t want to waste his time, but little do you know that Bucky would never think about it like that. With his words, it would be more like ‘every second without you is wasted time’.

“But you always impress me, when it’s just a tea you make me, when you just hug me. Whatever you do, I’m impressed by you, Bucky,” you say, smiling at him.

“Are you?” He asks, his eyes widen, and you chuckle softly. His ocean blue eyes focused on you, taking in every slight change in your expression, but there is nothing but love.

“I’m impressed by you, yes.”

He grins. He has so much to say, but he feels like he can’t. His tongue is kind of blocked, but there are too many thoughts, or just the thought that he could say something, and it doesn’t sound as good as he wants it to sound, so he has a better idea — one that will say everything and nothing at the same time.

The brown-haired man brings his metal hand to your chin, grasping it as softly as he can, and holds you in place. He then leans closer, his warm breath against your lips, and your eyes flutter shut. Bucky sees that movement as permission and leans closer until his soft, plump lips are pressed against.

A dream you both have had since forever now comes true. You never thought they would feel the same way about you as you do for him, but here you are. He showed you in the sweetest way that he doesn’t mind how you look and that he loves you because you’re you — just like you love him because he is your Bucky.

And maybe it wasn’t just your weight or your ex that stopped you from wanting to date. Maybe it was also your heart because it knew what it wanted, and now he gets exactly that.

Bucky moves forward, closer to you, both of his hands surrounding your waist, and you feel his hands creeping along your sides and back until he interlocks his fingers and taps your back with his thumbs.

“I can wrap my arms around you, plus I can lift you; is there anything else you want me to do to prove that you’re the most adorable and beautiful woman a man can be with?” He asks before pressing his lips against yours once again. There is nothing more you need him to prove his point, because you know he would manage to find a way to show you that he is right, that you’re pretty, and even if he has to carry furniture or your friends around for you, he would do everything he can as long as you’re happy — with Bucky.

//Taglist// @kandis-mom @sergeantbarnessdoll @identity2212 @km-ffluv @lunaalovesyouu @armystay89 @suz7days @etherealdisneyvillainness @pono-pura-vida @somnorvos @meowmeowyoongles @randomawesomeperson102 @rogersbarber @sebastianstanisahotmf @loki-laufeyson68 @winterschildren8 @bxtchboy69 @jeremyrennermakesmesmile @bucky-barnes-lover @felicitylemon @cjand10 @bookishtheaterlover7 @casa-boiardi @futurequeen2018-blog @flstrawberry @capsbestgirl77 @nervouseden @jiyascepter @princesscore-angel @mrs-katelyn-barnes @sasha-writing @blackhawkfanatic @fanfictionreaderfan @multiversefanfics @angelbabyyy99 @looking1016 @aphrodite-xoxo@im-alestan @lives-in-midgard

[katerina-marie]

The Uncertainty of Domesticity

Toji Fushiguro x Female Reader

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3 of 3

Toji Fushiguro wasn’t afraid of much, though he definitely felt so when he became a widower in the same moment he became a father. Years later, he felt it again when you came along with the same hopes and dreams for a future he never thought he would experience again.

Content: JJK universe but no canon events / strangers & neighbors to lovers / medium burn idk / female reader and referred to as such but left descriptively vague / no y/n / out of character and soft Toji / single-father Toji / SFW (for this part anyway) / Megumi-Mama/Mamaguro dies in childbirth and its mentioned once or twice / cutie pie child Megumi / fluff / slice of life / light angst from Toji's inner turmoil / discussions about having children / pregnancy and childbirth for reader in part 3 (pending) / more notes below.

WC: 6.1k

Notes: I just really wanted to see Toji "I'm doing my best at this single-dad thing" Fushiguro raise Megumi, fall in love again and get a happy ending, so here is me indulging myself. This isn't so much Toji struggling to move on from his late wife as it is him meeting you and then being scared about having a future with you taken away. But not as angsty as it sounds, very much fluff and vibes and snippets of goodness. Also, I am clearly taking liberties with JJK canon, so just go with it.

-----------------------

Toji Fushiguro wasn’t afraid of much.

He wasn’t afraid of what went bump in the night, not when he was the one who hunted it once and was maybe a part of it himself in days long gone. 

He wasn’t afraid when he tied himself to the woman he loved in law and name. Trepidation might have jolted Toji awake on a rare night, and the desire to keep her protected from the past of himself gave him the urge to flee on occasion. The balm of her touch and the promise of a new blessing that grew within her stayed his limbs.

Shock muffled all the sound around him as he held the new life she had given him while her’s slipped away in a rush of blood and the shouting of doctors. A nurse helped him collapse into a hospital chair and took the baby from his arms when the growing pool of dark red on the floor—something Toji had once been accustomed to—swallowed his whole field of vision until he saw nothing else. Desperation spread numbness over his body and allowed a high pitched whine to echo in his ears when the flurry of movement in the room came to a slow stop, and a white sheet was dragged over the face of a woman now gone. 

Pressure threatened to cave his chest and Toji curled over his knees to gape wildly at the floor as he struggled to pull in any strangled breath that he could manage. He felt hollow, devoid of anything and one wrong move away from shattering in place. Tears burned his eyes as he clenched them shut, and it was fear that suddenly set in when grief stole any hopes for an optimistic future and left in its wake a bitter vision of unwanted loneliness. 

Toji Fushiguro wasn’t afraid of much, but now he would never again doubt that he was capable of feeling so.

-----------------------

5.5 Years Later 

Toji didn’t particularly like having to stop at the grocery store on his way home from work once he picked Megumi up from school. His normally even-keeled son had a penchant for acting up when it came to ensuring that his father put into their basket every sugar heavy, grease laden, and all around unhealthy snack upon his immediate request. Toji would spend the entire time fielding incessant demands while silently praying that he would be able to grab whatever assortment of items he needed for the next couple of days before Megumi descended into an even fouler mood than normal. 

So no, Toji had no intention of going to the store after spending the day at some nondescript high school with an absurdly long name that Megumi would one day attend. His threshold for tolerating tantrums was low after hours of offering his “legal” and “non-life threatening” expertise to a bunch of teenagers with attitudes equivalent to his five year old. Specifically, there was one white-haired punk with a big mouth that somehow managed to push all of his buttons, and by the end of every work day, Toji was eager to return to the sanctuary of his home. 

At least that had been his plan until Megumi opened his mouth. 

“Dad?” he questioned. Toji hummed an answer, but didn’t let his focus wander from the lull of the road in front of him. “Why do all the other kids have moms but I don’t?” 

Megumi’s words were spoken quietly, tentatively, but they struck Toji in the heart just as painfully as he always anticipated they would, and he suddenly wished he had taken the time to read a book or something in preparation for this day—the inevitable question. He opened his mouth, but no words came out. Megumi was silent, but when Toji flicked his gaze to the rearview mirror, his son’s eyes were waiting and all too perceptive. 

“I…uhm.” 

Toji had to swallow once, twice, a third time to try and wet his tongue and force his throat to work, and by the time he felt he had composed himself enough, Megumi was peering around the side of his car seat to watch out the window. 

“Can we stop and get some snacks and ice cream instead?” 

Toji was in no state to deny him, so he flicked on his blinker with a resigned sigh. “Sure, why not?”

Twenty minutes later had him remembering “why not.” 

“Can we please go get that bag of chips now?” Megumi tugged on the leg of his pants for the fifth time in the last two minutes, and the edge of his voice was turning petulant. Toji was struggling to recall the list of groceries he had left on the side of the fridge, and as he scanned the wall of meat at the back of the store, he squinted in the lackluster hope that he could remember if he had scribbled “chicken” underneath “green onions.” 

“I said to give me a few more minutes, Megumi. We’ll go in second.” Toji curled his fists around the handle bar of the cart and he felt it reverberate when Megumi kicked at the wheel. “Do you remember if we had chicken in the freezer?” 

He looked down at his son who was already looking up at him with wide eyes, and Toji grunted as he took in the suspicious stains on his buttoned up black uniform, the one untied shoelace on his left foot, and then decided that despite Megumi’s unusual habits for a child his age, maybe assuming he would remember a random hunk of meat deep in the freezer was asking too much for a kid only halfway to six. 

“Now can we go get the chips?” 

Toji had to take in a deep breath and close his eyes to count to ten before feeling calm enough to answer. “Just give me a second. Please.” 

It was Megumi’s turn to huff, and he took a step away to spin in slow circles as Toji looked back at the meat selection. He took a minute to mumble through what he could remember from his list and then weighed the options of having to come back to the store if there wasn’t chicken in the freezer, or buying another pack anyway but then losing space if there did happen to be some already in there. Ultimately, Toji decided to just get another package of chicken and threw it into the cart. 

“Alright, Kid,” he said, angling his head to look over his shoulder at his son, “now we can—Megumi?” 

Toji cut off abruptly when he realized the space his son had previously occupied was now empty. He swiftly scanned the open floor of the store for that familiar spiky black hair, but could only see a few random parents and various elderly getting their weekly groceries. Toji figured Megumi had made haste for the chip aisle, but panic still quickened his heart nonetheless, and he hurried off to find him. 

“Megumi!” he whisper-shouted, trying to keep his voice low to be mindful of other patrons, but Toji was growing more nervous every time he leaned over the front of his cart to duck his head down an aisle, only to find it empty of his son. The kid had short legs and Toji’s back was only turned for a minute, but he was struggling to believe Megumi could vanish that quickly. 

“Megumi!” he said a little louder. He looked up at the indicator signs hanging at the end of each aisle, and when he caught a glimpse of the one containing the chips just two away, he lengthened his steps and opened his mouth to call for him again. 

“Alright, Megumi.” Toji heard a voice addressing his son before he was able to round the corner. “You promised me you would tell me what your dad looked like if I got the bag of chips for you off the top shelf. Now, let’s go find him, okay? I’m sure he’s worried about you.” 

When Toji did finally swerve his cart into the aisle, he was met with the sight of you squatted down in front of Megumi as he clutched a bag of chips to his chest. He could see your side profile, acknowledged how striking it was, and took in the heels on your feet and the fine-pressed material of your business clothes, but had little other attention for you before making sure his son was alright. Megumi caught sight of him first, and when he pointed at him you followed his finger, and Toji saw your eyes widen at his approach. He paid you no mind though, grateful when you had the sense to take a step back in order to not get in between a worried father and his child, and he wrapped his arms around Megumi when he crouched down in front of him. 

“What have we talked about, Megs?” Toji stressed. He released Megumi from where he had clutched him against his chest so he could look him in the eye. His tone wasn’t harsh, but it was stern in its urgency and firmness. “You don’t walk off without telling me, you hear? Don’t do that again.” 

The little boy nodded, and his head drooped slightly in response to being scolded. The sight of his downturned lips plucked at Toji’s frayed nerves, and he lifted a hand to ruffle Megumi’s hair in an attempt to soften the moment. 

The clicking of your heels had him noticing you again, and Toji looked up to see you leaning down to grab your basket, body already half-turned away from him, and he stood to his full height at the same time you straightened. 

“Thank you,” he said, and you went still. “I’m sorry if he inconvenienced you, but I appreciate you taking the time to help him.” Toji rubbed a hand against the back of his neck when your cheeks rounded into a friendly smile. 

“He was no trouble at all,” you said, and while your tone was kindly neutral, Toji didn’t doubt the genuineness of your words. “Megumi was very polite.” 

His son shuffled his feet when you turned your attention on to him, and Toji caught the tint of pink that flushed the back of his neck and ears. 

He chuckled and patted his shoulder gently. “Well, that’s good to hear.” He hesitated a moment, using the pause to further take in the style of your hair and the way your eyes twinkled under the harsh fluorescents of the grocery store, then held his hand out as he took a step forward. “I’m Toji.” 

You met his hand halfway, shaking it twice as you gave him your name, and when the two of you separated, there wasn’t quite as much distance between you as there had been moments ago. 

“I don’t think I would have had any trouble finding you,” you giggled, and though your voice was sweet and your eyes crinkled in something that maybe could’ve been flirtatious, Toji thought you looked just a bit shy in the way you rocked gently on your toes and held your basket down in front of your legs so you could bump it off your knees absentmindedly. 

You didn’t present yourself forwards to him or tilt your head in a way that was meant to entice, and while Toji couldn’t ignore how pretty you were or the way you had let your eyes quickly take in his height and the breadth of his shoulders (he didn’t think it was his imagination when you lingered on the scar in the corner of his mouth) he was grateful you maintained an air of simple friendliness.

You motioned towards Megumi with a flutter of your hand. “The resemblance is uncanny.” 

Toji hoped his answering grin wasn’t strained. There was no denying how similar he and Megumi looked, from the shared black hair and angled jaw to how he had been told that the two of them even scowled the same. It warmed his heart to know his son looked like him, but it also brought with it a strange sense of disappointment that he had to search so hard to find his late wife’s features since they were mostly obscured by his own. Toji wasn’t sure which way he would rather have it. Each sounded equally painful, to not notice her much at all in Megumi, or to be struck in the face with the ghost of her every time he looked at his son.

“Yeah,” Toji said, “so I’ve heard.” 

When your grin faltered slightly at the corners, Toji worried that he hadn’t done as good of a job concealing the hurt in his voice. You studied him a moment longer before your eyes darted over his shoulder and then off towards another aisle as one of your legs slid backwards. 

“I’ll, uh, let the two of you get going.” You smiled again at him and offered a small wave to Megumi from where he was mostly hidden behind his father’s legs. “It was nice to meet the both of you.” 

Toji nodded in agreement and Megumi sent back his own tiny shake of a hand before you each turned to go your separate ways. A little twinge in his chest made him wonder if he was missing out on something, but the window of opportunity already seemed to have passed. Once you were gone, Toji looked down at his son and tapped the top of his head to get his attention.

“I’ll let you push the cart, but you have to promise to never run off again, you hear me?” 

Megumi immediately whipped his head up to stare awe-struck at Toji as he awaited confirmation, and after a nod from his father, he scrambled to get in between Toji and the cart, hands up and fingers just barely curling around the handle. Toji offered some guidance, but for the most part, he let his son do the work as they finished gathering the last of their items. 

All in all, the rest of the trip remained uneventful, and Toji even felt a modicum more confident in grocery store endeavors as he directed Megumi to turn towards the checkout area at the end of the last aisle. That was until, in his eagerness, Megumi yanked the cart abruptly around the corner without bothering to check if anyone was approaching and promptly rammed the opposite end into your legs when you appeared from the other side. 

Toji wanted to die a little as he watched you teeter on your heels while you flailed a hand out to regain your balance, and he was too far away to be able to close the distance in enough time to stabilize you, no matter how much he wanted to. However, in an impressive feat of gracefulness, you managed to right yourself at the last moment, grasping the edge of their cart with the hand that wasn’t holding your own basket. 

“Megumi,” Toji growled through his teeth, slowly enunciating every syllable of his name, and the little boy actually looked chagrined for once. 

“I’m alright,” you reassured him, laughter catching the tail end of your words, and Megumi scattered between his father’s legs when you grinned down at him. “It’s nice to run into you again, Megumi.” 

Toji dragged a palm down his face and embarrassment made the back of his neck feel hot. “I’m so sorry. Again.” 

“Really,” you insisted, “it’s okay.” You couldn’t lie and convince yourself that you weren’t glad to run into the cute little boy with an undeniably attractive father. But, even though there wasn’t a wedding ring on Toji’s finger, it didn’t mean there wasn’t a woman waiting for them at home, and that was enough to keep your behavior completely platonic. 

With the realization that the three of you stood in the middle of the walkway staring at one another, you glanced down at their cart and then off to the right where the checkout was before turning back to them and tossing your hand back in that general direction. 

“Are you guys ready to checkout? There’s a lane open at the end.” 

The three of you ended up in line together behind another customer who had managed to sneak in right before you got there, but it allowed for conversation to flow. You learned that Toji was an instructor at a school just outside the city and that Megumi was in his first year of kindergarten. The boy took a liking to animals, and when you asked about Toji’s hobbies while you paid for your groceries, he only shrugged, but Megumi had chosen that moment to speak up for him. 

“He likes to play with cards and money.” His voice rang loud and clear in the space of the store. Your face lit up in surprise and maybe just a hint of wariness, and Toji nearly dropped the pack of chicken he’d been loading onto the register. Even the employee in front of you three sniggered until Toji cut his eyes towards him. 

He’d have to be a lot more careful about what he joked with Shiu about on the phone when he thought Megumi wasn’t listening. 

“He means Monopoly, like board games or something,” Toji rushed out, and he didn’t think he sounded very convincing, but you didn’t ask for clarification and he caught you stifling a laugh as you turned to grab your groceries. He used the chance of your back being to them to pin Megumi with an exasperated grimace, but the boy was too proud of himself to care. 

“If you want,” Toji offered, taking note of the bags you held in both hands while you stood waiting for them at the end of the cash register, “you can put your stuff in our cart and we’ll take it out. An apology for almost running you over.” He felt a little ridiculous when you cocked your head in consideration, wondering if what he said was out of turn, but it vanished when you set your things at the front of their cart with a smile. 

“I’d appreciate it.” 

He followed out after you, just barely remembering to grab his receipt from the cashier who somehow had the gall to waggle his eyebrows at him, but Toji pointedly ignored the gesture. 

Once outside, he lifted Megumi into the cart to keep him contained while he helped you load your groceries into your car. While the two of you made light conversation, the same nagging feeling that something was about to slip through his fingers itched at the back of his mind. However, Toji had no idea what to do about it. At least, not while Megumi sat watching the two of you, and he certainly couldn’t ask you to wait until after he got his son into his car two lanes over while under the heat of July.

In the end, nothing happened, and Toji was caught off guard by the disappointment he felt when he and Megumi finally got themselves situated in the car. It stayed with him as he drove and tried to keep up with whatever Megumi was chattering about. It plagued him with the images of your smile and what your face might have looked like if he had managed to ask for your phone number. Disappointment had Toji realizing with a shake of his head that he wanted to ask for your phone number because he had wanted to see you again, and that hadn’t happened with a woman—despite the opportunities—since meeting his late wife. It sat heavy in his gut, and he figured it would ease away on its own in however much time it took him to forget about you.

At least, that’s what Toji had thought until he realized that the car that just turned in front of his onto his street was newly familiar and currently parking in front of a house across the road and two doors down from his. He quickly did the same and stepped out of his car with bated breath. You emerged out of yours a second later, and this time he raised his hand in greeting. 

“You live here,” he called as you crossed the street and came to a stop at the edge of his small driveway. If Toji hadn’t been so stupefied by the turn of events, maybe something a little more eloquent would have come out of his mouth.

“For about a week now,” you told him, glancing back at his door as if you were waiting for something. Toji realized that he’d been so busy with work the last couple days that he hadn’t really paid any attention to the comings and goings of any of his neighbors, because surely he wouldn’t have missed you otherwise. “The house was left by a distant family member, but I didn’t have any use for it until my job transferred me here last month.”

“Oh, well, this is ours,” he said, gesturing backwards to his own home. “It’s just me and Megumi.” Toji saw your eyes flash with what he thought was interest, and maybe you confirmed it when you took a couple steps closer to lean against the tail end of his car.

“I guessed that was the case when you got out. You don’t seem like the type to follow home a woman you just met.” You arched one of your eyebrows playfully. “At least not with your son in the car.” 

That got a chuckle out of him, and Toji shrugged nonchalantly. “Not anymore, no.” 

Tentative excitement skittered over his spine when a laugh popped out of your mouth unbidden, and even though you tried to hide it with your hand and turned your head towards your house to shake it in amused disbelief, Toji still spied the way you peeked at him from the corner of your eye. 

“Well,” you said, a little breathless, “I’m going home to make dinner. Have a good evening, neighbor.” The fingers of your right hand wiggled in his direction as you spun around to walk back to your house, and Toji fought to clear the grin he felt stretching the scarred skin of his lip as he opened the car door and ducked inside to grab Megumi. 

-----------------------

Over the next month or so, most of Toji’s interactions with you remained frustratingly surface level. You’d holler a greeting to him on the mornings you saw him carrying a struggling Megumi to the car, already ten minutes late and praying his son had a pair of matching shoes on. He could do nothing but shout back as you got into your own car to leave for work. Other times, he’d wave at you as he drove to the store while you stood out watering the few pots of flowers sitting by your door. Once, when you had arrived home from work a little later in the day than normal, you had walked over to say ‘hello’ when you saw him and Megumi outside tossing a baseball. You hadn’t bothered going inside to change out of your slacks and blouse, and Toji had been thoroughly impressed when you ended up being able to chase a ball around with them while still in your heels. 

Ultimately, Toji hadn’t quite decided if you’d react reciprocatively to him or not if he just showed up with a knock on your door to ask you out or get your phone number or any other romantic-adjacent task that he would surely end up making a fool out of himself with should he do it. In an effort to ensure he didn’t irreparably damage a perfectly good neighborly relationship, he refrained from doing anything more than exchanging smiles and conversation when the two of you came into contact with each other. Toji was determined to wait for a bit more interest on your end before he committed to doing anything. 

Alas, in the late morning of a Friday that just so happened to be a government holiday, meaning there wasn’t a job for the two of you to go to, Toji caught sight of you staring up at some wooden decoration that sat at the top pitch of your house’s entryway. He and Megumi had just stepped outside to play. There was a bucket of dark stain sitting next to your foot, and you had a paint brush in hand to go with the shorts and ratty t-shirt you had on. 

Never one to miss an obvious opportunity, Toji grabbed Megumi by the hand and walked him down the street to your house. Once he was close enough, he called out to grab your attention. 

“Need help with that?” 

You spun around abruptly, clearly caught unaware by him (Toji suspected that had more to do with something on his part than yours), but you smiled bashfully nonetheless as you glanced at him and then back to the spot above your door. “I didn’t think so originally, but it seems a lot higher up now that I actually look at it.” 

When you glanced back at him, your eyes were beseeching and your lip was snagged between your teeth, and Toji knew in that second you could’ve gotten away with asking him anything you wanted to. 

He smirked and gave you a nod of his head to confirm his assistance. After a quick discussion about where your ladder was—only to find out you didn’t have one—and a trip back to his house so Toji could grab the one there, he was up and brushing the stain to the wood as you and Megumi observed from below. 

“I really do appreciate it,” you told him, eyeing the way a muscle in his arm flexed with every stroke of the brush. “I think I would’ve had trouble reaching it, even after I would have had to go buy a ladder to do it.” 

His chuckle drifted down to you and the depth of it was exceedingly pleasant to your ears. Movement from behind you forced your gaze from Toji, and you looked back to check on Megumi as he wandered off to peer curiously at your potted flowers. When you decided the little boy was probably harmless to the defenseless flowers, you turned back to Toji and nearly choked on your tongue at the picture he made. 

He was up on the tips of his toes with his arm extended in order to reach the top section of wood he needed to, and the movement lifted up the hem of his black t-shirt. You couldn’t help but take in the pale strip of skin now exposed, nor could you ignore the sharp angles of Toji’s hips and the trail of black hair that ran down under his belly button and disappeared into his pants. As your study took you upwards, you noticed how sweat made the fabric cling to every dip of muscle in his chest, and for the first time in your life, you came to the realization that sometimes more clothing could be just as sensuous as the lack thereof. 

Belatedly, you became aware of how hard you were staring (ogling) him, and you wrenched your focus off his torso to somewhere safer, this time his face. However, to your absolute mortification, Toji already had his eyes on you, and based on the way the green of them gleamed in mischievousness, you knew he had caught you. With your skin suddenly flashing both hot and cold, you sputtered an excuse about getting Megumi a drink before fleeing for the sanctuary of your kitchen, but not before you snatched the little boy’s wrist on the way in to drag him with you. You ignored the way you heard Toji cackling from all the way from inside.

-----------------------

At the beginning of autumn, about three months after moving into your new home, the weather had begun to cool down enough that you could open your windows in the afternoon. You sang to yourself as you fixed a snack in your kitchen, and the neighborhood had been quiet enough that nothing had yet disturbed your relaxing Saturday. 

That remained true until a light knock at your front door echoed in your kitchen. You set down the fruit you were cutting in favor of grabbing a towel to wipe your hands on and then hurried to the front door. You paused briefly at the mirror in your hallway to ensure you looked presentable in case a certain dad with the clearest green eyes you had ever seen happened to be on the other side. When you did answer the door, it was indeed a Fushiguro, but one of a much smaller stature than his father.

You weren’t necessarily a stranger to them anymore. Since moving in, when you or them happened to be outside at the same time, you usually ended up chatting or playing ball or something equally mundane when your schedules allowed for it. Toji had spent an afternoon repairing a gaping hole in your fence a couple weeks after staining the wood above your door—you very intentionally made sure to keep your eyes neck-level and above that time around—and you had knocked on their door one Sunday to deliver a plate of homemade cookies after you had watched Megumi sprain his ankle playing outside the day prior. 

So no, it wasn’t quite out of the realm of possibility for a little boy with hair that seemed to defy gravity to appear at your door, but you couldn’t say you had been expecting it to happen either, especially not without his father in tow.

“Hi, Megumi,” you greeted, looking down at him as he scuffed his feet shyly against your welcome mat. “Is everything alright?”

He nodded, not saying anything for a moment before blurting out, “do you have any snacks?”

The question caught you off guard, and you leaned forward out your door to check and see that Toji’s car was still in the driveway. “I certainly do, but is your dad not home?” You obviously weren’t a parent yourself yet, but even you knew that five and half years old was still too young for a child to be left home alone. 

“He is,” Megumi said flatly, and his nose scrunched in disdain. “But he fell asleep on the couch and I’m hungry.” 

You muffled a snort of surprise against your palm and stepped aside to let the little boy in. “I’m happy to share a snack with you, Megumi, but we need to let your dad know where you are.” You considered what to do for a moment as you led him to your kitchen. 

“Do you know his phone number? I’ll call and let him know you’re here.”

 Megumi only shook his head.

“Okay, well…why don’t you sit at the table and eat a couple pieces of fruit, but then I’m taking you back home.” 

He seemed content with your answer and quickly made his way to the table to scramble into a chair as you brought a plate of fruit to him. You were about to ask him how his day had been when you heard a door slam through your window, followed by Toji bellowing Megumi’s name. 

The two of you shared a startled look, both of you now anticipating a possible scolding, and you spun around to dash out your front door. When you made it a couple steps outside, Toji was looking down the sidewalk in your opposite direction.

“Toji!” you called. He whipped his head in your direction and your heart broke at the franticness of his features. “He’s here! He’s okay!” 

His shoulders fell in relief, and as he started to cross the street with those long strides of his, it occurred to you that Toji wasn’t wearing anything other than a pair of grey sweats on his lower half. He was all toned muscle and smooth skin, and between his towering height and the grim set of his mouth, you weren’t sure if you were more intimidated by him or attracted to him, though perhaps those went hand in hand at times like this.

As he strode up your driveway, a small squeak left your mouth and you stumbled back a step to try and maintain the distance Toji was eating up. “I’m sorry, he got here only five minutes ago and I was going to come get—,” 

You were cut off when he lowered himself down to encircle your shoulders with his arms and brought you into his chest for a hug that seemed like it was more for his benefit than yours. You could see just a sliver of what was behind him from over the top of his shoulder and when your hands landed on his back, you were shocked at the heat that radiated off of him. He smelled faintly of some generic shampoo, but it managed to be thrilling nonetheless, and you noted how firm he felt in every point of contact between your bodies. When Toji pulled away—entirely too soon in your opinion—his face was full of gratitude. 

“Thank you,” he said, and sincerity coated every word. If the suddenness of his body against yours hadn’t spiked your heart rate, then the emotion in his voice and the way his eyes stayed locked on yours certainly did. 

“Oh, no,” you insisted, waving your hands between the two of you, “there’s nothing to thank me for! I’m sorry I didn’t let you know sooner and made you worry. I was going to call you, but Megumi didn’t know your phone number and I don’t have it—,” 

Toji’s head jerked back slightly. You flushed hot and hoped you hadn’t sounded disappointed at the fact. 

“Anyways, Megumi just wanted a snack and said you had fallen asleep on the couch, so I guess he decided to come over here.” You were out of breath by the time you finished your rushed explanation, and the only thing that brought you any relief was the fact that Toji’s cheeks blushed the faintest shade of pink as he pinched at the back of his neck. 

“I didn’t mean to fall asleep,” he said sheepishly. “I worked late last night and must’ve drifted off while the kid was watching cartoons.” 

His words brought your attention to his face and it was then that you noticed the way the skin under his eyes bruised purple just the slightest, and Toji did indeed look like he needed a nap. 

“It’s no trouble for Megumi to hang out here if you need a break. I’m happy to help,” you offered, dipping your chin and smiling at him.

The circumstances regarding Megumi’s mother hadn’t been told to you yet, and because you didn’t feel the need to pry, you hadn’t asked about it. However, it didn’t take knowing all the details for you to surmise that Toji had been doing the single-father business for most—if not all—of Megumi’s life thus far. 

Astonishment made Toji’s eyebrows jump, but he agreed to the idea after another second and then reached deep into his pocket to fish for something. 

“Here,” he said, holding his phone out to you once he pulled it free from the fabric of his pants. “I meant to do this a while ago.” 

Your heart skipped a beat as you took Toji’s phone from his hand and typed your number into it. When you were finished, you made a call to your own phone, and when your ringtone flowed from the kitchen out the window, Toji’s mouth turned upwards in satisfaction. 

Megumi appeared a moment later to just barely peek his head around your door. Apprehension made his movements slow, and when he caught Toji’s eye, his father’s face darkened. 

“Come ‘ere,” Toji grumbled, waving his hand at his son to beckon him forward. Megumi shuffled out begrudgingly, and you yearned to give the boy a hug, but you figured it wasn’t your place to intervene. Twice now Megumi had snuck out from his father’s (not so) watchful eye, and you had a feeling Toji was about to ensure it didn’t happen again. 

Toji swooped Megumi up into his arm to carry him against his side like a football, and after wishing you their goodbyes, they made their way back across the street. A feeling of joy left by the two of them followed you back into your house, and you made sure to add to your shopping list the brand of chips Megumi had requested your help reaching the first time you had met him.

-----------------------

A/N: Luckily, 90% of this entire story is already written out, so I plan to have it all posted by the end of the week.

If you read this pile of self-indulgence, thank you very much <3

[bellysoupset]

Heyy soupppp! You tagged you were requesting for Bell and Luke so maybe this could work? 😭

Luke is hanging w the guys, Jonah, Leo, Vince, and he’s already pretty out of it, and he falls asleep while the rest are playing video games or sm (idk)

When he wakes up it’s dark, he’s sweating, and he pukes on the floor. His fever is so high he’s delerious, crying, and finds Vince, he takes his temperature, panics, gets Jonah and decides he needs a hospital?

xoxo

No hospital in this one, sorry, but I think I got everything else!

----------------------------

Leo was sure they were doing this for his benefit and part of him thought he should be embarrassed, but he really wasn't. He had missed spending time with his friends so much, Leo couldn't care less what had motivated their little "boys night".

It had been almost a full month since everything had gone down and he was back into therapy twice a week. His boss had pulled him aside asking if there was something she should know, thanks to his week long absence leave he had taken, but when Leo had brushed it off as just a family emergency, coupled with a hellish flu — an excuse Wendy had been happy to corroborate as his "doctor" —, she had left him alone.

His coworkers weren't as easy to convince, Leo had caught Sandy, Dean and Chuck whispering and all three of them had approached him separately to ask if everything was okay. Chuck seemed convinced it was something related to Jonah, judging by how he had squinted when Jon appeared to pick Leo up, seeming incredibly confused as if he had made up his mind about them breaking up, when nothing in reality supported that rumor.

"Yo," Vince slung an arm around Leo's neck and pressed their foreheads together, "get out of your head and help me with the beers."

"I'm not in my head," Leo bitched, following Vince to the kitchen, "I'm thinking- Oh, hi baby," he dropped to a crouched down position, finding JD happily eating away her food. The cat rubbed her head lazily against his hand, before getting back to the task, ignoring his pets.

"I said help, not come pet the kitty cat," Vince groaned, grabbing multiple beer packs and passing them along to Leo, "thanks- Luke's late. Amazing how he's never on time."

Leo snorted at the whining, then started tearing up the beer packs in order to plant the bottles on top of the table, while Vince hummed a song under his breath, making the snacks. He had shown up earlier than everyone, with his arms filled with grocery bags to prepare bruschetta and other Italian goodies.

Despite the music playing, Vince shared Leo's musical taste and they had been secretly playing Kit Howard since Luke wasn't there, they both heard Jonah outside the front door, his keys jiggling and also his voice as he talked with Luke.

"You guys started without us?" Jonah asked, stepping inside and moving straight to their sound system to change the music. No matter how quick he was, Lucas had clearly heard it, because he was frowning as he walked in.

"I brought dessert," he said in an annoyed manner, holding up a huge box of cupcakes. Behind his back, Leo cringed to Vince, gesturing how annoyed their friend was.

Vin planted his hands on his hip, "fucking finally guys, we almost lost the game!"

Leo was having a blast. They watched the soccer game while sprawled in the living room and stuffing their faces and, of course, Jonah and Luke were cheering for opposite teams, so they were yelling bloody murder at each other by the time the game ended.

Vince was down on the ground, more than a little tipsy, playing with JD and giggling, shoving Luke's leg playfully, "oh my god, sit down, you prick!"

"It was clearly a fault!"

"You're such a sore loser, Atwood, grow uuuup," Jonah retorted, planting his fingers in his ears to ignore him and Leo cackled, not lost on him how childish his fiancé was acting.

"Real Madrid would've won if your stupid team wasn't cheating," Luke glared, grabbing a cupcake angrily and shoving it entirely in his mouth.

Leo was shaking with laughter as he heard Jonah start to argue it wasn't cheating if Chelsea was simply superior. Across the room the phone was ringing, so he crawled on the couch to go grab it, giggling as he shushed the other three.

"Yeah?"

"Mr. Wagner? It's Matt, from the front desk-"

"Oh shit, hi Matt. I'm guessing the neighbors are complaining about the noise?" Leo cringed, turning down the music and heard a sigh.

"Yes, sir. I need you to tune it down and to remind you that parties are only allowed with the administration's permit," Leo rolled his eyes, he abhorred this HOA rules, but he knew Matt was only doing his job.

"I know, I'm sorry. It's not a party, we're just watching the game and they got a little riled up. We'll be quiet."

"Thank you, sir! Have a good night!"

"Thanks Matt, you too," Leo hung up, then turned to glare at the group, "shut up all of you, the neighbors are complaining about the noise."

"Him and his stupid fucking team," Luke mumbled darkly, grabbing the cupcake box and sitting down in the couch, slapping Jonah's hand sharply when the man tried getting one.

"I said, hush," Leo flicked at Luke's ear, "the Olympics are on, you guys wanna watch the gymnastics solo?"

"I thought that was yesterday!" Jonah perked up, shoving Luke's head so he could grab three cupcakes and they all settled down to watch the beautiful floor routine from Simone Biles. It was probably the one thing Luke and Jon both agreed on, so they were fairly quiet and the previous animosity melted easily.

After Olympics, they switched up to a video game and it was Leo's turn to all but hiss at Jonah, while Vince and Luke watched, since neither of them cared much about that.

They played only one round of Apex each, then switched up to Mario Kart so Vince could join, at what point Luke had already spread out in the bigger couch and was playing quietly with JD, sulking.

"Don't be a horrible loser, you're not five," Jonah passed him a controller, "stop sul-"

"I'm not sulking," Lucas groaned, pushing the controller away, "I'm sleepy, today was a long day. I think I just wanna sit here, you guys play."

They all exchanged an amused glance, Lucas was definitely sulking. However, they had learned long before to just let him ride out the poutiness, so they kept playing for another one hour and a half, when exhaustion caught up with them.

It was a Friday night, so both Vince and Luke were crashing there, their respective girlfriend (and wife) had their own thing going on, because Bella was going to NYC with Wendy so they could watch the Family Addams play.

Leo yawned, resting his head on Jonah's shoulder, "I think we should call it a night," he was pleasantly buzzed, almost in drunk territory but not quite and every surface felt so soft... He looked to his right, to Jonah, the giggles as he looked past his shoulder and saw Luke was curled up, knocked out, and JD was sleeping almost on top of his head, "that's sooo cute, Vin-"

"On it," Vince didn't need to be told, as he crawled on the rug to get a picture, fixing JD's tail so it looked like a hat on top of Luke's head, "send it in the group chat, Bella will love it."

Leo did just that, leaning fully against Jonah and not missing how burpy his boyfriend was. They stared at the screen expectantly, then Bella sent a picture of them in the traffic jam, Wendy curled up against the passenger window, wearing a sleeping mask and a thick hairband that had cat ears on top.

Bells: they're matching 🥰

Jonah snorted and Vince let out an amused huff, sending a bunch of hearts about his girlfriend, then he yawned, "let's call it a night?"

Thirty minutes later most of the trash was put away and Leo was changed into his PJs. He walked down the hallway to throw a blanket on top of Luke and retrieve his cat, pulling JD to his chest and smiling as he noticed how much she was purring.

Vince was in the guest bathroom, flossing, so Leo leaned on the door and knocked, "I got Luke some blankets and there's extras for you in the guest room-" he yawned, "and the fridge is all yours, you know the drill."

"Ioweeeill," Vince agreed, the words coming out all mangled since he was busy. Leo smiled, patting his friend's arm softly, then turned around to go to the master suite.

Jonah was in bed already, sitting up against the headboard and muffling deep burps against his fist, while JD napped on his lap.

"Beer got to you?" Leo guessed, turning off the lights and shutting the door, crawling on the bed.

"Uhm, it'll pass in a minute," Jonah's voice was all soft, he was definitely a little drunk, "come cuddle."

Leo locked their legs together, pressing his cheek to Jon's bicep and rolling on his side, so he could move his hand between smoothing JD's fur and rubbing his fiance's belly.

---------------------------------

Luke hadn't been feeling well since morning. That was the truth, he had felt pretty damn shitty since he opened his eyes and had even skipped gym, something he never did, in lieu of lying in bed and trying to force himself to go to work.

He had wanted nothing more than to cancel all plans, but Bella was vibrating with excitement about her plans with Wendy so he didn't want her to know he was feeling gross and consider staying behind.

It was the same logic that got him to actually show up to his night plans. He felt horrid, but it was their first time all together since the mess with Leo and Luke didn't want to mess it up. Hell, Vince was driving four hours and missing a cool weekend with his girlfriend for this, Luke could suck it up about the lethargic feeling that kept trying to pull him down.

He had chugged an energy drink on his way there and plastered a smile on, that had quickly turned into a frown thanks to all of Jonah's picking on him, but thankfully his friends had chalked that up as their usual prickliness and laughed it off.

Lucas was feeling almost proud of himself when he fell asleep to the track of his friends laughing and JD's heat near his face.

He should've known better.

Luke woke up drenched in sweat and feeling like his heart was racing, drumming in his ears. He was flat on his back on the couch and was shivering, like they had left the balcony's door open and the freezing night air was inside.

He sucked in the air, feeling more than a little desperate and... Scared? For some reason? Then his stomach lurched suddenly and Luke coughed, nearly drowning himself. He managed to roll on his side in time to retch a large stream of vomit on the ground and Luke let out a pained whine.

His throat and nose hurt, since he had almost choked, and his stomach felt awful. He was sorely regretting everything he had eaten during the night, in his effort to force normalcy. All the damn cupcakes were churning inside and he could taste the chocolate on the back of his throat...

Lucas sat up, wrapping an arm around his stomach and waiting for the room to quit spinning. HIs head felt like it weighted more than it did, lolling to the side and causing Luke to plant a hand over his lips, muffling a wet belch in it.

He didn't want to cause a mess. Well, a bigger mess. Luke grabbed on the couch and forced himself up, wavering dangerously as wooziness washed him over, then blindly moved around the room. His mouth was watering all over again and he couldn't fight a sick burp, which caused liquid fill his mouth, but he gulped it down, all but falling inside the guest bathroom.

It was like his body was painfully aware this was a safe zone, because Luke didn't even have a chance to move over to the toilet, squeezing his stomach as another cramp hit and then coughing, struggling to breathe, when the motion set off a projectile stream of vomit all over the fucking tiles and down his front.

His knees buckled and Luke curled up, more than a little disgusted and humiliated, his thoughts a wind whirl- dark spots clumping together...

-----------

Jon woke up with a weight on his chest and it took him a minute to realize he was looking straight into his cat's big blue eyes. He frowned, blindly reaching to push her off his chest and causing the kitten to meow.

"G'away," Jonah rolled on the bed, still dizzy with sleep, snuggling up with Leo and hiding his nose in the crook of his fiancé's neck- There were whispers outside his door and he let out a sigh, rolling back so he was facing the ceiling.

"What do you mean don't tell Jonah, Luke?!" Vince's voice, louder than a whisper, filtered through the closed door and caused Jon to snort in amusement.

What were the two idiots up to?

He glanced at the bedside table clock, while JD climbed on his lap once more, nibbling at his fingertips when his hand automatically went to pet her. 3:23 AM. Definitely far too late for some secretive midnight snack.

Jonah leaned in, kissing JD between her ears, "keep daddy company," he whispered, before picking her up and slotting her in the little space that Leo left since he was curled up on his side.

The closer he got to the door, though, the less the whispers sounded humorous, turning frantic and distraught... Jonah tiptoed out of the room, hitting the hallway's light switch, "what is going on?"

Chaos erupted.

Luke let out a cry, while Vince shouted "JON!", behind him JD jumped from the bed and came to meow at his feet and Jonah's stomach reacted before he could fully realize the mess in his hallway, causing him to gag.

He swallowed, pressing a fist to his mouth, trying to piece together what was going on. Vince was crouched down in front of Luke, who had fallen flat on his back near the guest bathroom door and there was vomit... Well, everywhere. On Vince's and Luke's shirts, all over the ground near Luke's head, leading up inside the bathroom...

"Please, don't be mad..." Luke whined and Jonah's stomach froze over, not with nausea, but guilt and misplaced anger. He scoffed, shaking his head and stepping closer to the mess, despite his body begging him to turn away.

"What happened?" Jonah crouched next to them and Vince's shoulders sagged with visible relief.

"I- I don't know, I woke up just now and he had already fallen and was throwing up everywhere and- and-" he cupped Luke's red cheeks, "he's burning up, Jon-"

"Grab the thermometer in our bathroom," Jonah instructed, moving his hands so they were in Lucas's neck, "and wake up Leo."

"O-okay-" Vince jumped up and rushed away, while Jonah tried to ignore the way their sick friend was sweating buckets, fever so high he was shaking as if he was freezing.

"Don't tell Jon..." Luke groaned, pressing his forehead to the inside of Jonah's wrist, while the other man checked his vitals. Luke's heart was racing, "please, Vin-"

"I'm not mad," Jonah glared at him, grabbing Luke's ruined shirt by the shoulder and using all his strength to pull his friend sitting up, instead of lying on the groud, "c'mon-"

"Uhm," Luke moaned, Adam's apple bobbing up and down, "don'feel-good..." his words stuck together and he folded in the middle, all but drooling over his lap, "I want Bell..."

Jonah's own heart was racing now and he turned his head to holler, "VINCE, WHERE'S THE DAMN THERMOMETHER!?"

That caused some rustling inside the bedroom and Vince rushed out, holding the little device, as well as the bathroom trash and a bunch of towels, with Leo hot in his heels, although the blonde looked half asleep still.

"Here-" Vince dropped to his knees in the sick covered hallway, mess be damned, "what do I do...?"

"Luke," Jonah patted the other man's cheek, nervously, "hey. Lucas, Luke-" Luke finally opened his eyes, although they were dazed and confused, "look at me. Hey-"

"Jon...?" Lucas frowned, gulping down, "I'm sorry, I- I tried to stop-"

"It's okay, it's okay," it was terrifying to have Luke apologizing to him of all people, "you think you can hold the thermometer in your mouth?"

"Do we really have to? Anyone can tell he's got a fever," Vince protested and Jonah raised a hand to shut him up.

"I- Ye-yeah..." Luke nodded, squeezing his eyes shut, "I don't feel good..."

"We know, buddy," Leo had moved closer as well and was holding JD to stop her from getting her paws dirty, "Jon's gonna help, alright...?"

Luke sniffled pitifully and Jonah forced the thermometer in his mouth and under the tongue, checking the time on Vince's phone, since the man was the only one who had one.

"I'm gonna start cleaning this," Leo decided, squeezing Jonah's shoulder as he got up, "and put JD away."

"What do I do?" Vince asked in a small, worried voice, eyes glued to Luke's face, "this was so out of nowhere-"

"You're gonna help me get him in the shower," Jonah explained, "let's just wait a minute..."

Under his hand, Luke jerked and gagged, pressing his lips tightly around the plastic of the thermometer. He moved a hand to wrap around his stomach, but Vin held his wrist, "no, Luke, your shirt is covered in sick..."

"-urtsss," Lucas moaned, sniffling again and gulping down once more. A thin line of drool started to run from his bottom lip to his lap, as he was unable to fully close his mouth. He gagged and Jonah rushed to retrieve the device, as he heard the disgusting noise of liquid splashing...

It was just in time. Vince shoved the trashcan under Luke's chin and Jonah's hand was barely out of the line of fire as more vomit rushed up and splattered inside the bin.

Jonah glanced at the thermometer, a new one they had gotten after Leo complained about their European device one too many times, and cringed. 103.5ºF

Next to him, Lucas retched loudly once more and Vince rubbed his back in a reassuring manner, although his face was desperate as he said, "Jon!?"

"Lucas," Jonah moved so he could cup his friend's burning forehead and rubbed his opposite arm, "we're gonna get you up, okay?"

Instead of answering, Luke just nodded dizzily, and Vince removed the bin from his lap, wrapping an arm around Lucas' waist, while Jon did the same. Together, they pulled him up quickly to his feet, causing the man to let out a loud groan and pitch forward with a gag, bringing up another mouthful of bile all over the floor, just as Leo returned with a bucket and a mop, causing the blonde to cringe.

"Jesus," Leo winced, "that's some virus..."

Luke shook with a hiccup, which quickly turned into a sob and he crumpled towards Vince's side, hiding his burning face against his friend's shoulder and bawling.

"Aw man, it's okay, I got you..." Vince cooed, rubbing Luke's back while Jonah started to guide all three of them inside the ruined guest bathroom.

Jon side stepped the mess on the ground, gagging harshly himself and stopping in the middle of the way, still squeezing Luke's bicep, so he could spit inside the toilet. The lid was lifted, but the water clear, Lucas had never even made it inside the bathroom.

"Jon?" Leo poked his head inside the bathroom and Jonah shook his head, lips pressed in a line, swallowing down a burp.

"I'm fine," he pulled them further in, inside the shower area. Besides him, Luke let out another hiccup-sob, tears running down his swollen face, completely out of it.

Jonah opened the shower, turning the registers until the water was from lukewarm, ignoring the fact he was getting completely soaked as well, "Okay, c'mere-" he moved out of the stream, so they could hold Luke under it and the man immediately let out a pained yelp, very similar to the noise JD made when they accidentally stepped on her tail.

"Hurts..." he whimpered, sobbing harder, "please- pleasssstop... Why are you doin'this?"

Over his head, Vince looked mortified, and Jonah understood the feeling well. Last time he had seen Luke this distraught, had been back in Christmas when he was sick while in the midst of depression, but even then the fever hadn't been this high.

"You think he had a fever before?" Vince voiced his thoughts, worry coloring his words as he hugged Luke close, all but rocking him under the water, "shhh, bud, almost over."

"Probably," Jonah answered gruffly, turning around and starting to peel off Luke's soaked, sick covered shirt, "there's no way this climbed this high so quickly."

"What can I do?" Leo entered the bathroom, now with three towels draped over his arm, having just ditched the mop, "hallway is clean and living room too."

"Living room?" Jon frowned, glancing at Vince, who looked just as confused.

Leo cringed, nodding, "yeah, living room, I think he woke up sick..." Between them, Luke let out a groan and suddenly stopped crying- His knees buckled and both Vince and Jonah let out a shout as they almost went down with his weight.

"Oh my God," Vince cursed, stepping all over the place and forgetting Jonah was holding half of Luke's weight as he moved to fully grab his best friend, "Luke- Lucas, please, please, open your eyes-"

"Vin," Leo said in a small voice, "Vince, he's coming back to, calm down-" the blonde stepped almost inside the shower area, planting a hand on Vince's back in a reassuring way.

Lucas let out a little moan as he came back to, with Vince still patting his cheek frantically and all but snarling, "aren't you a doctor?! Do something!" at Jon.

"Was-what's going on-" Lucas' voice was raspy, but lucid, and all of them breathed out in relief. Jonah turned off the water, while Luke started to shiver violently, "M'fff-freezin'-"

"Yeah, we're gonna get you dried up," Jonah let go of his arm, side stepping Lucas and Vince, since Vin had a vice-like grip on the man, and as soon as he stepped out of the shower area Leo threw a towel over his head, starting to rub it in.

Jon squeezed his boyfriend's hand, but pulled away, stepping out of the rug so Vince could drag Luke there. The bathroom wasn't built for four men, so Jon was forced to step back in the wet section, while Luke fell sit in the still open toilet and Leo and Vin started to dry him up as if he was a toddler.

"Luke," Jonah wanted to touch him, but there was no space, "when did you start to feel sick?"

"Morning," was Luke's lethargic answer, head lolling with sleep, "I don't feel well..."

"Are you gonna be sick again?" Leo looked up from his crouched down position as they stripped Luke out of his soaked sweat pants, "Luke?"

"Hmmmm... No," he breathed in, "I'm sorry I got sick everywhere..."

"Shut up about that," Jon glared at his friend and Vince scoffed, rubbing the towel vigorously over Lucas' wavy hair, with so much force he was creating curls.

"Let's get him up-" Leo said and Vince was about to do just that, when the blonde shook his head, "you're getting water everywhere, dry yourself. Jon can help me."

"You two can't-" Vince started to protest and Leo glared at him.

"He's our best friend too," he said in a calm, but serious voice, "we can handle him. Dry yourself, you don't wanna get a cold on top of this mess."

Jonah decided he didn't need to explain contagion didn't happen like that, feeling a swell of pride at Leo voicing what he was thinking. He circled Vince, exchanging places with him, and helped Leo get Luke up.

They stumbled into the guest bedroom, which was the closest one. The bed was already unmade, since Vin had been sleeping there and Luke collapsed against the pillows with a heavy sigh, brows meeting in a frown.

"What hurts?" Jonah asked, going for the dresser where they left most of their older clothes for guests, and stripping of his wet pajamas, sliding on some new sweatpants.

"Head," Luke rolled on his side, until his head was resting on Leo's lap and the blonde promptly started combing his fingers through his hair, stroking lightly at Luke's cheeks.

"Like a migraine?" he asked in a whisper and Luke shook his head, while Jonah rushed out of the room to get their first aid kit. Once he came back, not a full minute later, Vince was inside the bedroom, now clad in his spare set of boxers and nothing else, curled up in the bed with Lucas and Leo.

Jon scoffed, pausing at the doorway, "do I need to explain you guys don't wanna catch this plague?"

"Get in here," Leo rolled his eyes, "you can fit right here."

"Are you crazy?" Jonah pouted, planting the first aid kit on top of the dresser and fishing out an antipyretic, as well as a painkiller, "Luke, are you still feeling sick?"

"No," the man's voice was sleepy, as his head was still in Leo's lap and he was being lulled to sleep by the hair pets, "stomach hurts."

"Yeah, that's because you puked things you ate back when you were three," Vince joked weakly, squirming on the bed so he could rest his own head on Luke's thigh and starting to rub his friend's belly, "this alright?"

"Get him to drink this," Jon climbed on the bed, over Vince's legs and handed the pills to Leo. He was planning to climb back out, but then Luke grabbed the cords of his hoodie and Jon nearly faceplanted over all of them.

The bed let out a whine under their weight and Vince snorted, "this thing is gonna go down with us."

"Here, swallow this," Leo pushed the two pills unceremoniously inside of Luke's mouth and caused the man to splutter and almost bite his fingers.

Lucas swallowed with a grimace, then curled up even further, "you guys are warm..."

Jonah sighed, collapsing between all three of them, resting his cheek on his hand and draping his legs over Vince's. Clearly, no one was going anywhere.

Luke met his eyes, little pained lines around them, but no longer the previous confusion, "Thank you..." he closed his eyes, relaxing, as Jon reached in and pushed his bangs back, brushing his thumb over Leo's knuckles buried in Luke's hair.

The blonde smiled at him, then squirmed until he was lying down instead of sitting against the headboard, causing Luke's head to rest fully against his tummy instead of his lap. Vince moved closer and Jonah went boneless, resting his cheek to Leo's thigh and planting a kiss there, feeling exhaustion catch up with him as the adrenaline wore off.

Last thing he heard before fully passing out was JD sneaking back into the guest room and climbing the bed so she could snuggle up against Vince's tummy.

[neteyamyawne]

human miles quaritch where you're a scientist bit you're both in love? miles accidentally shoots you while aiming for the helicopter and after feels regret but when he finally gets to see you in the final fight, you end up passing out. happy ending? i haven't read your rules yet so if this goes past it I'm so sorry 🫶

A/n : This does NOT have a happy ending, it's all angst, okay? I will make a part two of this, which will have a happy ending, i promise. Please read my rules before requesting 💚

Traitor ✦♡

Pairing : Quaritch x fem!reader

Summary : request

Song : avatar 1 playlist

Parts : pt1 pt2

Plunge 🗡️

❈ Warning : a lot of angst, threatening, killing, passing out, war, mention of a loved one dying, description of being shot in the head (mild), cursing, a little toxic but sweet? Hurt no comfort, sad ending, established relationship lmk if more.

❈ Word count : 7.8k not proof read

❈ Note : idk what got into me writing this, there's a little surprise in the end 🤭

"word" - dialogue **word** - flashbacks

❈ Glossary : tsawke - sun (child name), ma'evi - my child, zize - hellfire wasp (pa'li name) lmk if more.

You stared through the microscope, noting down everything you could as fast as you can, writing the last sentence you leaned back and stretched your body in your chair, groaning as a few pops were heard from your back.

The sound of it a bit too loud in the empty lab, the only light seen was on your desk and the hallway, you glanced at the digital clock on the wall, your eyes widened as you stared at it 4:23 am, "dammit" you huffed, swiveling around in your chair, getting up, your stomach rumbling for food, when was the last time you had a meal? And ofcourse you had to miss dinner as well, you looked around your desk to see if any snacks were left, with nothing found you searched Grace's desk next, opening a drawer you knew she kept her chewy granola bars but the only thing you got in return was a sticky note at the bottom with a "i told you not to take my bars! - G.A" written on it, you sighed, you had to be hungry at the oddest hours! but no cafeteria in this sector opened until it was 8am in the morning, so you were only left with one choice.

Making your way silently to the military sector as all the soldiers wake up way before anyone, so their cafeterias opened earlier as well, the only thing left now was to go in ask or beg the cooks for something and come back just as silently. Tip toeing your way inside the cafeteria hallway, sneaking inside, thankfully there was no one present in the room, walking over to the counter you knocked on the glass showcases, a round faced stout woman peeked from behind the kitchen doors, her eyes widened clearly not expecting a scientist at these hours, she made her way to the counter, her sweet motherly accent calming you down as she asked "what do you want, dear?" You looked at her sheepishly, face burning in embarrassment " umm, maybe do you have any extra leftover breakfast? I'm sorry i stayed up all night, with no food whatsoever, i didn't had breakfast either, so i was hoping i get some here, you know they don't open so early- now I'm just rambling, I'm sorry-" but her chuckle cut you off, she leaned over to pat your cheek "it's okay my dear, sit down on one of the tables, I'll bring you something to eat, these brutes eats too much already" you laughed at that, saying your thanks you sat down the table nearest to the counter.

She came back with a big plate full of eggs, sausages, pancakes and what not, you were baffled, they barely had any fresh fruit back at your sector and this is what the military sector is getting? Damn you Parker, your thought traveled wild as you gobbled down the breakfast, you were so engrossed in eating that you didn't see Quaritch coming in, taking another bite as your mouth was already stuffed with the previous one, you jumped in surprise when he sat down next to you without a warning "Miles, you idiot, god you scared me" letting out a sigh , putting down your fork, he just laughed "i thought you nerdies never came in our area" you glared at him, picking up the glass of juice the sweet chef gave you, gulping it down "how many times have i told you? Don't call us that!" He slung his arm around your shoulders, pulling you close, you rolled your eyes at him "don't you science guys hate us too much to be here?" You got up, taking the leftover pancake with you, not giving him an answer back, by the time you got to the door, he was catching up your side, putting the last piece of the pancake in your mouth and swallowing it but before you could see what was happening, quaritch back you up, caging you again the metal wall, capturing your lips with his, all your struggles falling away, melting in his arms, pulling back for air "come down here too sometimes sweetheart, i don't bite you know" he nuzzled his face in your neck, you look down the corridor, to see if anyone saw what just happened, relieved you looked at him in the eye "i thought you wanted this to be a secret?" He threw his head back "I don't mind them watching now" you shook your head "ohh shut up you moron" a blush heating your face "you know, you look pretty when you blush, doll" you speed walked out of his arms, hiding your now red face from any onlookers, aiming straight for your quarters, his laugh ringing in your wake.

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It's been quite a while since this became a thing, you and him, no one knew though, except for grace, of course she knew, you didn't know how but she knew and didn't leave one chance to reprimand you about it, you tried to ignore her but she just wouldn't leave you alone about it, it's been weeks since the new recruit Jake Sully was being called by quaritch, it was getting on Grace's nerve you can see it as clear as daylight, she did not want any scientist meandering with the "knuckleheads" and you being entangled with miles while Jake running of to him every minute he got made it worse, , so you did what you had to.

"You can't ask me that, we're here for a mission!" He huffed out, you pinched the bridge of your nose "A mission for what miles‽ We are invading their home, not the other way around, and no more visits by Jake, this is it!" He looked taken aback, you were done discussing this, you knew if you didn't end this now, grace would take drastic measures "what do you mean?" He started nonchalantly, talking as if he didn't know anything "Don't play dumb on me, Quaritch, i know what your plan is, i know exactly what you told Jake, please just don't, this is not the way" you pleaded with him, making him understand the situation , he knew, you using his last name was serious but he stood his ground even taking a step forward, a hand clasping on your forearm, a stern look on his face, jaw clenched tight, a vein in his forehead pulsing, in a slow voice he drawled out "those blue monkeys out there are worth Nothing and the sooner you understand the better" he seethed, this time it were you who was taken by surprise, his unexpected anger making you take a step back in fear as he walked out of the room without glancing back at you.

The moment you got back to the lab, grace knew something was wrong, terribly wrong, your face told her everything she needed to know, within seconds she was by your side, you knew he was up to something, something that involved in harming the omaticaya, and Jake was helping him but to what extent you didn't know. Grace had enough though, immediately her plans on moving to site 26 were brought into action, Jake was surprised but he had no say in it, Grace was the incharge and her word was final. Soon enough you were shifted to the site, you were shaken up, the way he said it, you couldn't help but feel something bad was storming up.

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You sat by your desk head perched on your hand, staring down at the papers in front of you, Trudy was in a chair beside you snoring away with a bag of chips sliding down her torso, looking at the little clock on your desk, the hands denoting 6am but no sleep aided you, your mind flooded with possibilities of what could go wrong, sighing you got up making your way to the small counter to make some eggs for everyone, time ticked by and one by one everyone got up, Jake being late, he rushed to his link but you pulled him back by his chair, handing him the plate while he whined "c'mon y/n, I'm already late-" but you didn't let him speak any further as you punched the red button on his link panel, he groaned while you spoke "No breakfast, no avatar" he rolled his eyes scarfing down everything hurriedly like there was something exciting waiting for him.

You got into your avatar with grace after a while, it was good to be back with them, grace and you both loved to be with them, it's like you belonged more with them then your own species, you picked up tsawke, one of the clan children, he cuddled close to your neck, as you talked with everyone about the day. Your routine was interrupted when a commotion stirred in the common ground, walking over, you saw eytukan, mo'at and tsu'tey gathering in the center, the hushed whispers catching on, your face morphed into shock– the RDA has attacked the tree of souls– tsu'tey's yells notified nothing but a call for war then to your horror you saw Jake and neytiri walk inn, hand in hand, grace came to stand beside you, tsu'tey propelled forward, shoving Jake back, neytiri got in between hissing at him, holding him away from Jake but what tsu'tey said next left you speechless "you mated with this woman?!" You slapped a hand on your mouth as grace mumbled "ohh shit".

Mo'at walked forward "is this true?" Her voice stoic, but neytiri held her head high as she said "we have mated before eywa, it has been done" tsu'tey's face fell as he turned back, Jake argued "brother please, do not attack the sky people, many omaticaya will die-" but you did not listen till the end as tsu'tey drew his knife and pounced onto Jake "you are not my Brother!" You screamed holding tsawke closer, Jake stood up after deflecting his attacks "I'm not your enemy, your enemy is up there, I can talk to them-" tsu'tey had not mind to let him talk "no more talking!!" Cutting Jake on his arm, neytiri yelled at them to stop but none of them did. Jake kneed him in the stomach and punched him in the jaw, making tsu'tey fall on the ground, he got up wiping his jaw as Jake spoke "I am omaticaya, I have the right to speak, Lu aylì'u ngaru. Ayngaru nìwotx.(I have something to say, to all of you) the words are stones in my heart–" you looked at grace as she fell to the floor, putting down tsawke, you ran towards her, her name falling out of your mouth, you looked at Jake horrified as it clicked what was happening but before you could say anything, your eyes rolled to the back of your head as your na'vi body thudded to the ground.

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You gasped as your link was broken abruptly, opening the case, quickly getting up as you saw quaritch punch Jake, grabbing his arm as you spun him around "are you out of your mind?! Miles, listen to me, you can't do this! Please" he grabbed your arm pulling you with him as he ordered the soldiers around him "wheel that meat out of here, close this up and move" you struggled against his grip but he didn't let you go, just as you got to the door, he glared at you "I told you, the sooner you understand the better, I don't want to hurt you, y/n but you chose not to listen me, I will not say this again, stay by my side, I'll keep you safe" he grabbed the oxygen masks, putting it on your face, but tears pricked your eyes, breaking the airlock, you walked out into the air of pandora.

Jake, grace and norm were escorted out, Trudy stood near her chopper with an unreadable expression while quaritch kept you behind him, you felt guilt rile up your veins seeing them being treated so differently than you were, settling on the rotor craft beside quaritch, he held you by your waist while his other hand clutched his gun, tears ran down your face, you knew something like this would happen, doubt gripped your heart, how could you fall for a man like him? How did you even let this happen? Questions swirling around your mind, sobs broke out of you but you didn't expect him to pull you close and kiss your hair "this is not your fault, doll, I know you love those tree huggers but they are not your allies, we are, and I need you to understand that" he mumbled against your hair, but nothing his said could comfort you, it only added to your anger still you stayed quite, the whole flight was silent, only your sniffs were heard, as brown flew you back to hell's gate.

You stood beside grace, playing with a bracelet nervously that the man in front you, who threatened you and your team, gifted it for your birthday, you all watched Jake destroying the bulldozer camera in the footage, quaritch paused the video tape just when Jake was about to hit the final blow to the equipment, "you let me down son" you cringed at that, quaritch walked towards your group as he leaned down to Jake "so what you- you find yourself a local tale and you just completely forget what team you're playing for?" Jake glared daggers at him, Grace rolled her eyes, talking to Parker in a demanding voice "Parker, there is still time to salvage this situation-" but miles turned to her yelling "shut your pie hole" but Grace didn't back down "or WHAT? Ranger Rick, you gonna shoot me?" "I can do that" you shoved him back "Miles!" Grace turned to you scowling "you need to muzzle your dog" you sighed and Parker shoved in between "yeah can we take this down a couple of notches please?" You walked towards quaritch pulling him back but Jake wasn't even trying to be on your side, by now you didn't even know who he was playing for or evening playing at all! "You say you wanna keep your people alive? You start by listening to her."

You took a deep breath inn before starting, staring at quaritch to make to make him realize just this once "those trees were sacred to the omaticaya people, in a way you can't imagine-" but Parker had a mind to cut off everyone who was speaking in his vicinity "uhh you know what? You throw a stick in the air around here and it's gonna land on some sacred- fern! For Christ sake" he was getting on your nerves, ticking you of like a time bomb "I'm not talking about some kind of pagan voodoo here, I'm talking about something real, something measurable in the biology of the forest" his face clearly showed he had no interest in what you were talking "which is what exactly?" He folded his arms, giving you a smirk, you took another breath to deal with his bullshit and to form words that we're understandable for him "what we think we know, is that there's some kind of electrochemical communication between the roots of the trees, like the synapses between the neurons, Each tree has 10 to the fourth connections to the trees around it and there are 10 to the twelfth trees on Pandora" you waved your hand down to show the enormity of the situation "which is a lot I'm guessing" Parker looked at you with zero understanding about what you just said, you stepped forward "it's more connections then the human brain, get it? It's a network, a global network and the Na'vi can access it" your voice was soft, desperately trying to make him understand, grace spoke up "they can upload and download data, memories at sites like the one you just destroyed!" He just looked at you and her with a dumbfounded expression "what the hell have you people been smoking out there?" He said laughing at your faces ``they're just goddamn trees!" Still laughing as if it was a joke "you need to wake up Parker" grace walked forward, "no you need to wake up-" she cut him off "the wealth of this world isn't in the ground, it's all around us! The Na'vi know that and they're fighting to defend it, if you want to share this world with them, you need to understand them" your head snapped back at quaritch when he spoke from beside you, tapping something on the glass tab "i think we understand them just finee thanks to Jake here" turning you head to look at Jake, he didn't meet your eyes looking away.

quaritch pulled you by your wrist towards the holographic table "hey doc, come take a look" the holographic image of Jake's log popping up, he explained how there was no way of bribing the omaticayans out, you looked at Jake with pure shock as his video explained his detail movements, quaritch still held you beside him making you watch it, grace squeezed Jake's shoulder as he hung his head down, miles pulled you behind him as he spoke "so, since a deal can't be made i guess things get real simple, Jake thanks, I'm getting all emotional i might give you a big wet kiss" he turned bringing you with him, you jogged beside him trying your best to keep up with him "miles please, this is wrong, you can't do this" you said trying to loosen his hold on your wrist "this is it y/n, look at me, we are here to take, not to make friends with those blue monkeys" you look up at him, tears stained your cheeks "we can't take what is not ours, miles" he pulled you in for a hug kissing your forehead "that's what we're here for, doll, to prove it wrong"

Parker sat in his chair playing with piece of unobtainium, quaritch by your side as he spoke "I'll do it with minimal casualties to the indigenous, I'll drive 'em out with gas first, it'll be humane, more or less" Parker leaned back in his chair, you grab quaritch's arm, shocked at what they were discussing, you gasped with Parker's next word "all right, let's pull the trigger"

A soldier was standing besides you while you stood near the large windows overlooking the warships getting ready to attack the home tree, you tried to stop them but none of them were ready to listen to you, quaritch gave the final order of you not linking with your avatar till he says so, a guard by your side till he comes back, now standing besides Parker, the guns and missiles making you sick to the stomach, grace, norm and Jake were taken back to the labs, but a commotion behind you whisked your attention, "Dr, Augustine, you cannot be up here-" she shoved him "Back off- Parker, wait stop, these are people you're about to-" the soldier grabbed her arm again but she wrenched her arm out of his grip "i said Back off!" You got in between them as you saw Jake rolling in, Parker just rolled his eyes at her "no no no no, those are fly bitten savages who live in a tree, Alright? Look around, I don't know about you but I can see a lot of trees, they can move!" Grace let out an exaggerated sigh "there are families in there, there are children, babies! Are you going to kill children?" Jake butted in "you don't want that kind of blood on your hands, believe me, let me try and talk them out, they trust me" you saw the inkling of a hope, to make their statements more strong you hopped in "please Parker, just let them try, just once, let Jake talk them out, please" he looked over at you and the others finally speaking after saying nothing for a while "fine but you are to stay here y/n, i don't need more trouble than i already have" you nodded, this was better than nothing.

You ushered Jake and grace back to the lab, yelling at others to get the links ready "calibrate the links fast, they are going in right now" you walked to Grace's panel with her, Parker and his goons trailing you "calibrating three and four" grace opened her link getting in she said "run sequence", you prepared her link from her panel "initiating, thirty seconds" you saw Parker going back to Jake's link as you heard him say "you've got one hour, unless you want your girlfriend in there when the ax comes down, evacuate them" with that he closed the link door, you walked over to Grace's side, closing the metal cover over her, you looked at her with pleading eyes "get them out please" she nodded and you closed her link as well, with that you stumbled beside her link on the chair, praying to any deity listening for everything to go as planned and letting the waiting game begin.

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Everyone watched on the monitor, the people had tied Jake and grace up, it was from the view of the dragon so you knew it was quaritch giving the orders, the first round of the tear gass was thrown in, they started open fire but the arrow did nothing but scratched the ship, you chewed on you nail, watching as the diplomacy had failed, there was no way out, just when you thought he'd fire another round of tear gas, incendiaries were blasted right into the root of the home tree, you clasped a hand on your mouth as the missiles exploded on it, the natives ran out, many must have died in an instant, though there was no sound you could see the hell he was raining down on them, Jake and Grace's avatars were still tied to the post, the ship turned around changing the view but staying there, getting into lines they fired again with even bigger missiles, the explosions bright as they hit the spiral columns, the rain of fire stopped as they waited and you saw with bated breath, the columns splintered breaking down, the tree leaning on on a side, falling down rapidly, every scientist beside you was in tears as a sob fell out from your lips as the tree thudded to the ground, it was done, the once tall mighty structure has fallen, humans got away with their ways yet again, you fell to the floor, knees giving out, shock ringing through your body and your mind going numb, norm picked you up but it was over, you had lost, again.

You were still standing with everyone as you watched the destruction on the screen, Parker twisted his head back at zdinarsk "pull the plug" you looked at him in horror as she walked towards the links, you ran to Jake's panel "you can't do this, it's dangerous, BACK OFF" they screamed at you to calm down but one of them shoved you away binding your wrists together as he slammed his hand onto the red button, you screamed at them to stop, norm punched one of them but it was of not use as he was held down my the other, Grace's link being cut of as well, tears streamed down your eyes as they opened Jake's pod, he was immovable, blank expression covering his face, zdinarsk held you back as you fought her grip, yelling at her to let go, both of them were taken out of the pods, Jake was hauled over one of their shoulders, grace struggled in their grips as she screamed at them "YOU MURDERERS!" You were now strapped to the railing near the main desk, pulling at the orange band as it wouldn't budge, you fell down to your knees, yelling at them to stop but it was done, as all four of you were held down on the floor, hands bound with guns pointed at your heads.

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You sat with Jake, grace and norm in the detention cell, even when quaritch tried to keep you out, Parker just wasn't having it, you looked up from where you buried your head in your knees "I'm sorry, guys, i-" but Jake was quick to stop you "no, it was my fault, not yours, you tried to help us but I couldn't convince them" You shook your head about to reply back but the sound of footsteps stopped you, looking out of the cell door when scratching of wheels were heard, Trudy walked in wheeling a cart in front of her, stopping in front of the guard, she laughed out "personally, I don't feel like these tree hugging traitors deserve steak" he got up, leaning down on the cart as he exclaimed "they get steak? That's bullshit, let me see" Trudy laughs and then puts her gun to the back of the Lock Up Trooper's head as he bent down, she orders him to the ground, slamming the gun on his vagus nerves, knocking him out cold, she called out to max and he ran in next, opening the door, "quick, quick we don't have much time" Trudy hugged you once before following the others.

Speed running towards the helipads and runways, you grab a mask on the way, getting to the airlocks, everyone wears their masks, opening the attachment door, we all run out, Jake stops behind and you skid to a halt as well "max, I need a man on the inside, I trust you for this" max nods ushering us to go as he runs inside, we bolt towards trudy's chopper, norm took down the coverings while trudy's ignited the engines, now we had less time than before, you helped norm to bring up Jake's chair, climbing up as you looked back at the base to see quaritch slamming a door open without a mask while he rained down bullets on you all, the rotor craft turned exposing you towards him, with his bullets firing down, you felt a pain in your abdomen, the impact making you fall onto the metal floor, a hand covering the wound, Jake and norm celebrated your escape while you looked down at your body "son of a bitch" you groaned, Jake's eyes snapped at your figure, he helped you up screaming at norm "get the trauma kit!" Grace pulled you up too, you yelped as the adrenaline from before wore off and the pain began to spread, norm and grace held you down as Jake worked on your wound, bandaging it as tightly as possible, till you landed safely near the site.

Trudy manuverd as quickly as she could through the fog and vortex towards site 26, getting to it, you were hauled inside the lab settling you on one of the link pods as a makeshift bed, while Jake got into his link, grace sat by your side, you felt the place tilt, letting everyone know that your were airborne now, she ran a hand through your hair, resting it on your cheek, her eyes shone with unshed tears, you smiled up at her "don't worry, grace, I'm not going down this easily" you both chuckled but your face twisted in pain as the slight pressure of your laughter made searing pain spike through the wound, sweat beaded your forehead and body, time went by, your body getting weaker and weaker, the blood seeping out of the bandages, she patched you up again, taking a syringe out of the kit, filling it up with a liquid you had no interest in knowing, puncturing the skin near your forearm, you let out a hiss wincing at the pain, she threw away the syringe, you gripped the side of the link below you as the whole of the lab swayed while it was being lowered to the ground, you were near the tree of souls now, the thud of it sounded a lot louder, you closed your eyes just resting them for a bit, getting as comfortable as you can with a bullet in your stomach.

Your mind hazed over, the blood loss was making your brain feel heavy and light at the same time, seconds bleed into minutes and minutes turned into hours, the night sky twinkled in the layer of stars, you smiled softly at the bioluminescent forest outside, ohh how you loved the feeling of the breeze blowing through your hair, your avatar body so in sync with the nature that it felt odd to be in your human body, grace was seated beside you as you stared outside. You closed your eyes, the exhaustion lulling you to sleep.

Jake walked to the lab in his avatar form, knocking on the window to get Grace's attention, she got up, grabbing her mask going outside in an instant as he told her everything he had in his plan, soon enough you were stripped of your clothes only the bandages holding on the wound were left, grace covered your body with the vines and Jake carried you all the while you were passed out cold, you began to wake up as you felt yourself being moved, the sight in front of you making you gasp but it came out as a soft inhale, Jake looked down at you smiling as he said "look where we are y/n" you breathed into your mask "i need to take some samples" Jake chuckled softly, bringing you to the base as he laid you down, neytiri fixing you legs as norm and grace fixed your avatar, your eyes fell closed as you felt the cool grass below you, sighing into the mask, you felt small fibers sticking onto your body, voices drowning out when you felt a cool sensation behind your neck.

You opened your eyes but a bright light made you close them back, looking around it was light and dark at the same time, you felt like you were flying and swimming at the same time too, it was quite and loud, but your attention was focused when a voice rang out "you are here before your time, my child" the sound not female nor male, you gasped in realization "Eywa" it came out less than a whisper, the light shining brighter, you watched in awe, no face or body was seen but the sound so angelic it almost hypnotized you, "yes, ma'evi, you have more to live, more to see, it is not your time to be with me, you have life within you to live for, i will call you back when the time is right, go back ma'tiyawn" each syllable was said and spaced perfectly, silver lined your eyes but something tugged you in the center of your torso, the tug came back from inside, before you could utter a word you were pulled back.

You gasped, opening your eyes for the second time, your vision clearer than before, you looked at Jake when he came in your line of sight, you voice light as feather "i saw her, Jake, i was with her, i was with eywa, jake" your eyes were blown, everyone circled you and grace pulled you in for a hug, tears of pure joy ran down your face, your return now celebrated throughout the crowd, you smiled at grace, neytiri sat by your side, you placed a palm on her cheek as she smiled back at you, how long has it been since you've seen her smile so bright, Jake got up going to tsu'tey as. He spoke and tsu'tey translated for him, the clan cheered as Jake got to the end of his speach, the sun rise anew, sunlight cascading down the trees, norm took Jake's place, pulling me in his arms he whispered "i thought we lost you" you smiled, patting his back, Jake glanced at you one more time before taking neytiri's hand and made his way to his toruk, you gasped in shock, when did he ride a toruk? But your question was unanswered as the clan moved to their own ikrans while you, mo'at, grace and norm sat near the tree, mo'at took of her shoulder wrap, around you and now you were suddenly aware of how naked you were, pulling the ends of the fabric around you, getting up but you stopped in your tracks as you saw your human body, walking up to is, as you stared at your human face, flicking back the hair from your face, finally letting go of your old self you turned around not looking back, you walked forward into your new life, a new beginning.

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Jake traveled through most of the forest clans, gathering them together to fight back against the humans, you sat with grace, twisting the knife in your hand, the knife that quaritch gave you to protect yourself, more like gave your human self but still gave it to you, the memory flooding back as you stared at the sharp blade-

** You got back from a collection trip but nearly dying from it at well, you didn't expect to run into the natives, they attacked your group, no arrows were shot but you were severely hit by them and taken to the hospital wing immediately with Max accompanying you as he was hit to but not that bad, you were admitted for quite a while and quaritch almost took out a march against the Na'vi to kill the ones who hurt you, weeks after that when you were in your quarters with him, he helped you sit up and you looked at him confused but he got up going to his jacket that was hung on the hook near your door, pulling out the knife out of its pocket, he walked back sitting down besides you, removing the cover from it, setting it aside, he brought the hilt of the blade to your palm, making you grip it tightly, he angled the tip of it to the base of his neck, and your eyes widened "miles what ar-" but he shushed you, talking as he gripped your hand tighter against his throat "plunge and twist" he breathed out, showing you how it's done with the actions over his skin, your hands shook but you listened intently, nodding as you understood "keep this knife with you, always, now you know how to use it too" you laughed at that but nodded, slipping back the cover on, he took the blade from your hand and slided it up your ankle, the elastic on the cover snug on your calf, he pats the blade before giving you a smile and tackling you down on your bed, smothering your neck with kisses and tickling your face with the slight scruff on his jaw as you squealed in laughter at that, pushing him off you but he put his whole body weight on you, trapping you beneath him before he broke hell loose on you as he tickled your sides till tears were falling down your face**

Eyeing then small knife in your hand, grace looked at you, she was in her human form, her avatar resting near the makeshift beds for the once who were injured, Jake was now with norm and Trudy talking to max about what quaritch's next step would be but even after all this something in your heart longed for him, you knew he'd kill any of your closed ones without a thought but he saved you in your darkest times, he brought you back up from your lowest points, he loved you when no one else saw your sorrows, how could you forget someone who did so much for so easily?

** You sat in your bed, looking at the pictures of your old life back on earth, how things have changed, a tear fell down on the picture of your brother who was killed on the way back to home on the bus, the gang ransacking your whole town, hijacked the bus, taking the kids hostages, your brother being killed as a warning for others to obey, they shot him multiple times in the head before throwing him out of the bus and driving away, the police found and brought him to you while in their chase to capture them but it didn't matter, your brother, your only family after your parents passing away was dead, he was just 9, after his death was when you took the decision to join the Pandora project you've been delaying to answer back, Dr. Grace Augustine requested your presence as her collaborator, but you said no because of your Little brother, if it weren't for you, he wouldn't have anyone to call his, so you stayed but after that, you took the opportunity, thinking maybe if the work took your time you wouldn't think of him but every second he plagued your mind, you muffled your cries but they only got louder, the knock on your door stilled you for a moment before quaritch entered, his face forming a frown at your state, he got in bed with you, picking you up with ease pulling you to his chest, settling you in his lap, whispering sweet nothings as you let your heart out to him, your brother and how you missed him, your parents, your guilt, everything and he listened to every word, kissing your forehead by the end of your rant, his shirt was soaked in your tears but he didn't say word, flattening your hair down, he kissed your temple, leaning both of you down on your bed, keeping all the photos aside, you snuggled into his chest, balling your fists with t-shirt holding on tight as you dozed on in his arms, he held you till your uneven breaths paced out, rubbing your back, he spoke no words except to sooth you, both of you drifted into a deep slumber with you safe in his arms**

Strapping the knife back on your calf, saying your byes to grace, you went back to call norm to teach you how to ride the pa'li, the war was in a few days and you wanted to pay your respect back for bringing you back to life, you won't go down without a fight anyways, he taught you better than that.

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The day of the war came, you were with norm with the ground team, Jake, tsu'tey and neytiri lead the sky team, the plan was set, as soon as the enter the field the flux vortex would disable their radars and we had an advantage on that, whirring of the ships were heard, your group hiding till you hear Jake's orders, soon enough thumps of being something heavy being dropped were heard and Jake's voice filtered through our comms to attack as they were airborne too.

You were dressed and painted in the traditional warrior clothings, a bow strapped to your back, gun cradled in your arms as you raged forward with a yell, the humans in the amp suits open firing, you didn't hold back, galloping zize towards them you shot down the front line, their bullets piercing many of your soldiers but casualties and death will be counted later, you saw norm being knocked down from his pa'li, but he got back up, firing down with all his might, you saw a Na'vi firing his bow from the ground, giving him a hand, he got behind you, shooting down as many humans he could and so did you, but too many of your group were shot down, norm spoke into his speaker "Jake, we are being hammered, we have to retrieve" he immediately responded "fall back, keep a cloce cut" you turned your pa'li back but something exploded near your ground, surprising your mount as zize kicked back, falling out of line, the warrior behind you quickly hopped down retreting back, but zize field through the trees, bringing you closer to the eastern ground team, where the war raged even more, you reigned zize to stop as you looked over the field, the bodies scattered on the ground but your break was brought to an end when an amp suit firing at you, missing barely.

The bullets from the suit wheezing past you, your breaths laboured as you forced your direhorse to gallop as fast as he could, trying to outrun the machine but it caught up even faster, in the moment of outruning him you didn't see the amp suit that stood in front, he fired directly into zize, the hits on his body felt by you too, you sceamed as you were thrown off of him, the amp suits retrieving thinking you were dead as well but you crawled towards your pa'li, his head lying on the ground as he whimpered in his last moment, you kneeled beside him, stroking his head while you mumbled a quite prayer to eywa for his safe arrival at her doorsteps, you got quickly when you heard more loud footsteps, hiding behind a tree, peeking out your saw the new batch of amp suits that dropped down, very few Na'vi faught beside you, you heard neytiri speak as she was in a similar situation, Jake demanded to fall back, but you stopped listening halfway, you looked down at your gun, clicking it in place, holding it tight ready to fire , the group behind you firing down anything in sight, the humans with them burning down everything with the fire guns, you were about to step aside to shoot out when you heard neytiri yell into your comms "eywa has heard you, EYWA HAS HEARD YOU!" you fell back behind the tree, confused but it was cleared when you saw the hammerheads charging towards you, a scream erupted from your throat, arm coming up to sheild your face but none of them attacked you, they went straight for the enemies, you laughed at there demise, walking out of your hiding place, you got back on killing the remaining ones.

You stopped in a clearing, bodies littered the ground, your breaths uneven, you stumbled upon a body, reaching out as you grabbed a nearby tree, pressing onto your comms as you spoke "tsu'tey? Can you hear me? Trudy?" You puffed out a exhale, heart dropping second by second, no answers came back, too engrossed in your thoughts you didn't see the ikran landing right in front of you, your scream high pitched as you fell back, the beasts took a step forward bowing its head down, the beautiful colors of navy blue and yellow swirling together on its body with strips of black, you bowed your head down too, seemingly knowing what plans it had with you, you smiled as you took the opportunity.

You had no experience flying an ikran but here you were, flying above the war field, your bare feet slipped from the notches but you held on rightly the beast helping you stay on as well, you soared through the air, bringing down any ship you could, you circled around the area near the tree of souls, your eyes widened when you saw the dragon ship crashed into the soil, you decided to check on Jake near the lab, to see if everything was alright as no amount of you yelling into your speakers could get their attention.

Flying right towards site 26, you descended a little further away from the area, quickly dismounting your ikran, you made your way towards the place but stopped as you saw Jake slam a huge blade like piece into the amp suit glass cover, but as soon as you saw who drove the suit you heart fell to the floor in seconds, quaritch skipped back, opening the glass cover fully, pulling on a mask, you looked the lab, the windows broken, surely Jake was suffering inside his link, out of nowhere neytiri dropped down in front of me as she shot her arrow right into his chest, his grip of Jake slacked, letting him go, with another precise aim the second arrow hit right in the center of his chest, she ran forward as you were glued to the spot staring at the scene, not moving until you saw him move again this time reaching for his discarded knife to make a final blow before he could rest.

Your were quicker than him, running towards him with a sceam as you jumped pulling out the knife from your calf and down at the base of his neck with a plunge and sickening twist, his suit crashing down while you were still on top, your hands still gripped the hilt of the knife, he looked down at the blade he gave to you now sticking out from the same place he taught you about, a smile formed on his face, he brought a shaking hand to your face, wiping the tears away from your cheek with his thumb as he spoke in a small voice "plunge and twist, i knew i taught you well" with that his hand fell away from your cheek, now you're hand cupping his face as your tears dripped down on his skin, a cry ripping out from your throat, wailing as you gather him in your arms but no success, your cries now muffled in his shoulder, unbeknownst to you, inside the lab similar state could be seen with an opposite outcome from your demise, as Jake caressed neytiri's cheek still in his human body, her hand coming up to hold his while you're wails never reaching their ears.

You leaned your head against his, sniffling before you spoke one last time even if he couldn't hear you now "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, please wake up, i can't do this without you" but his eyes never opened, nor did his lips moved to tell you it was okay and he was there for you, his hands stayed by his sides and never engulfed you in his hug, the warmth of it you could never feel again, your eyes trailed one last time over him, as you said your last goodbye to the father of your child "i wish i could have told you sooner but you would've been a father my dear, but now you rest, until we meet again, my love" you kissed both of his eyelids, jumping of the suit, leaving the knife behind embedded in his chest, you walked towards the lab to check on Jake and neytiri, leaving your past behind you, making your way to your new family, ending the war for the good.

A/n : I will explain the last bit in the next part, they will have a happy ending in the next oneee i promise 😭😭

Yawne : @fanboyluvr, @callmeoncette, @lu-the-ghost-reader, @brisbriskett, @saltedcoffeescotch, @ducks118, @itscheybaby, @jackiehollanderr, @zoetrope1997, @yeosxxx, @persefolli, @im-in-a-pansexual-panik, @theycallmesia, @elijangwifey, @erosthefae, @murderbirbdany, @killua2dot0, @ilovechickenwings, @kylobensgirl, @darling-imobsessed, @majathepapaya, @sweetirilly, @reinap06, @neteyamforlife, @thatgirljas13, @totesnothere04, @arminsgfloll.

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© Neteyamyawne 2023 | All Rights Reserved. Do not repost on other platforms, copy, steal, or translate any of my works!

[elentiyawhitethorn]

Older but Never Wiser

CW: a bit of language

AN: Happy (almost belated) birthday @leiawritesstories my love!! This took way longer than it should have but depending on your time zone this might not be late yet lol, I’m dusting off the cobwebs to give you a little present :)

Based on this prompt: “you’re at the high school reunion and everyone’s talking about how you and [insert jerk here] were prom queen and king, unaware you dumped them years ago, and you’re moping… until you run into your nemesis from high school and you’re thoroughly distracted” (I can’t remember where this came from, it was just in my prompts folder, maybe I came up with it? Maybe not? Idk)

1458 words

Aelin could feel her shoulders begin to hunch as she drew in on herself. She’d known Chaol would be here, of course, but she hadn’t known the subject of prom queen and king would come up so soon, nor their joint senior superlative of “most likely to get married.”

She also hadn’t known Chaol would show up with a gorgeous woman taller than her, hotter than her, certainly classier than her, and wearing a giant diamond on her finger.

“I really thought you two were going to last,” Essar said, voice dripping with pity and sorrow as if she’d truly been invested in the relationship of two high school classmates she’d hardly ever interacted with ten years ago, let alone following graduation.

Aelin smiled tightly. “Well, it was for the best. I’m much happier now with my new boyfriend.” A lie, and an obvious one at that, if Essar bothered to notice. As it was, she was clearly more interested in the piece of gossip than its verity, even a decade after high school.

Some things really didn’t change.

The subject of Chaol was a bitter one—they had lasted several years following high school, and while Aelin had had plenty of time to move on, and multiple relationships following Chaol, seeing him now brought up old insecurities. Being interrogated about the end of their relationship by some random classmate at a high school reunion wasn’t making matters better.

“If you’ll excuse me,” Aelin cut in, “I should make some more rounds. It was nice to catch up with you.” There wasn’t an ounce of sincerity in Aelin’s tone and she couldn’t quite bring herself to care.

She and Essar exchanged goodbyes and Aelin fled, hurrying over to her friend Elide. Elide had been the class valedictorian and was now head of some tech company in Rifthold.

After catching up with her and a few others, Aelin headed for the refreshment table. She wasn’t one for social events, and after the tedious process of listening to the reunion’s organizers give speeches, followed by a solid half hour of unstructured mingling, Aelin was drained.

She poured herself a cup of punch. Staring into the reddish liquid at a distorted reflection of herself, Aelin sighed.

“I can’t believe Aelin Galathynius, socialite, gossip, prom queen extraordinaire, is moping at the snack table at a social event. Hell really has frozen over.”

Aelin started at the voice, looking up to see a man with stark white hair towering over her. He had certainly changed over the past decade, but the sharp pine green eyes clued her in on his identity instantly.

“Rowan Whitethorn,” Aelin drawled, grinning. “You…” She looked him over, taking in the size of his crossed arms, the deep tan, and the hard features. A tattoo snaked up his neck from somewhere underneath his shirt. Aelin whistled. “Time has served you well.”

Rowan chuckled, the sound all too familiar. “You think so?” He paused, and gave her a once-over of his own. “I could say the same.”

Aelin leaned against the table, smiling. “Do tell me what it is you do for a living. Wait—let me guess. Sly business man. Lawyer? Oh, tax collector!”

Another, louder laugh left Rowan’s lips. “I’m a child psychologist.”

Aelin’s jaw dropped. “Damn, okay.”

He grinned. “You’re what, a fashion designer? A housewife?”

Aelin rolled her eyes. “I work at a pharmacy.”

Rowan shook his head in disbelief, smiling widely. Silence settled over the pair, but it wasn’t an uncomfortable pause—merely a moment to take in each other after so long. Aelin remembered arguing with the boy this man had once been over schoolwork, over sports, over absolutely nothing.

“Gods, tell me you’re not with that asshole anymore,” Rowan said, breaking the quiet.

Aelin blinked, then felt her lips unconsciously stretch into a another smile. “No, I’m not.”

Rowan hmmed noncommittalaly. “You two were never a good match.”

He was the first person who hadn’t offered her condolences like it was some kind of recent tragedy, and for that Aelin felt her smile turn soft. “Remind me why we hated each other again?”

A breathy laugh. “I believe that was thanks to the time you scraped up the side of my car trying to park on the very first day of junior year.”

“We were sixteen! No one could drive well at that age.” Aelin was grinning.

Rowan crossed his arms. “Or perhaps the time you literally tased me? With a fucking taser?”

Aelin let out a startled laugh. She’d completely forgotten about that. One of the football boys had hosted a party while his parents were out of town, and his mom was a cop so he brought out her taser for a game of whoever can hold onto this $20 while being tased in the hand gets to keep it. Gods, high school had been quite the experience.

“That was part of the game! You took the risk, and you lost; I can’t be blamed for that. Besides, I happen to remember you making out with my boyfriend on one occasion.”

Rowan groaned in faux embarrassment, a hand running though his short locks. “Lorcan dared us to. Besides, you’d already broken up with Dorian at that point, so it didn’t really count.”

Aelin’s face started to ache as she realized just how widely her smile was stretched. “That definitely still counts, but fine, let me think of some other instance you were an asshole to me. I’m sure there were plenty.”

Rowan shook his head, eyes dancing with mirth, and opened his mouth to make a retort—but someone else beat him to it.

“Aelin! I was so happy to spot you here. How have you been?”

Of course, it was Chaol, leering over at her in a suit far too sophisticated for the occasion.

Aelin felt a wave of calm wash over her as she realized that as much as she didn’t want to have a civil conversation with Chaol, she wanted him to have the upper hand even less.

“Chaol, my gods! I’ve been great; I take it you have been as well judging by the beautiful woman on your arm?”

The woman in question blushed, and Aelin wondered what exactly she knew about her.

Chaol grinned and held up the woman’s hand—and the ring perched on her fourth finger—like some kind of prize. “This is Yrene, my fiancée. Yrene, meet Aelin and… Ronan?”

“Rowan,” Rowan correctly coolly, then glanced at Yrene. “It’s a pleasure.”

Chaol nodded dismissively and turned back to Aelin. “Is that a new haircut?”

It had been a solid six years since she’d dated the man, and at least three since they’d crossed paths. “Yes, it is.”

“And how are you getting on with that Fenrys fellow? Still happy?”

The last time Aelin had seen Chaol had been at the grocery story—fucking small towns—with her boyfriend at the time. He hadn’t lasted more than a month.

“No.”

A flicker of glee crossed Chaol’s features, and Aelin writhed internally.

“Much to my benefit, that is,” Rowan interjected. Aelin had nearly forgotten he was still standing with them. “For now I have her all to myself.”

What?

Chaol blinked, dumbfounded. “You two are together?”

Rowan shrugged. “We reconnected a couple years ago and hit it off—better than we ever had in high school,” he added.

Aelin had just enough self-control to paste a smile on her lips. Now understanding what Rowan was doing for, she took his hand casually.

Rowan’s hand envoloped Aelin’s, and his rough calluses scraped against her palm. It took restraint not to shudder, and Chaol be damned, Aelin was no longer paying attention to the conversation. Her world focused in on the warm hand interlaced with her own.

Less interested, probably now that he’d realized he didn’t have much to hang over her head, Chaol said a farewell and retreated with the fiancée who hadn’t spoken a single word. Aelin watched them leave gratefully.

Rowan slipped his hand out of Aelin’s and she almost objected before realizing herself.

“Thank you, Rowan,” Aelin said softly.

Her gaze drifted over to him and snagged on his piercing green eyes.

Rowan stared back at her for a moment. “No problem.”

Aelin shook her head. “It wasn’t no problem. That was very kind of you.”

Rowan shook his head, but said nothing more about the endeavor. “How long are you in town?”

“A whole week. I wanted to stay with my parents for a bit.”

“And I don’t suppose while you’re here you want to grab coffee together? I still need an example of the atrocities you claim I put you through, after all.”

Aelin’s expression turned fiendish. “Does tomorrow work?”

———

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[chuuuvi]

Chuang Asia Thailand Episode 1!

It’s been too long since I got into a survival show lol. I mean my last one was Girls Planet 999 and that was 2 years ago! So anyway I’ll be taking you all with me on this journey by posting the notes I took while watching the episode plus my current top 9. Spoilers ahead!!

•First off before you ask where I’m watching: it’s on the Tencent Video app and it’s free. Ooh and if you’re also watching pls let me know so we can talk about it together!

•I’m happy to see Nene as a mentor! I loved her when I watched Chuang 2020

•This is produced by Jackson Wang? They’ve got TEN??? Okay Chuang Asia I’m interested.

•Looking at the contestant list and of course there are 14 year olds. Don’t vote for the 14 year olds you guys. My personal age minimum for voting is gonna be 17 so I won’t consider anyone younger than that. Contestants that are over 18 get my preference though. The idol industry is bad enough for adults, I’d prefer if we didn’t debut minors as well. I know ironic coming from someone who ults Yeseo lol. (She was the youngest active kpop idol when she debuted in Busters.)

•Also they're really going hard with this being international. This makes Mnet look pathetic for what they did in Girls Planet lol.

•Oh the flirting part with Jasmine was so akwarrrrrrd. 100% secondhand embarrassment.

•I felt bad for Elyn when she was crying and said “No Filming!” But they proceeded to just zoom in on her crying face :( TURN THE CAMERA AWAY FROM HER!

•The trip.com ads are so funny to me because these survival show ads where they pretend to use a product are usually for stuff like snacks or beverages or makeup. But they’ve got these girls pretending to casually book a flight lmao

•The barbie group having only one member thats older than 16 and then proceeding to perform Barbie World where they say stuff like “that pussy so cold” and “he spank me when I get bad” -_- Someone should have made them pick another song.

•OOOH the Avex group’s performance of Left Right was great. Maybe the best of the episode although Mindy was really impressive too.

•Ilene’s little fan moment with Jackson was adorable!

•They announced the first top 9 but I feel like we’re still missing some performances?? Is that an editing thing to get that ranking in the first episode and we ares still going to get more next episode or did they just skip some people? Like I don’t think we saw Ruan and I was waiting for her. I could have sworn there were some CSR members too and I haven’t seen them perform either. I guess we’ll see.

• I watched the theme song on YouTube and it’s so cute!! Weird that it’s all about summer when this is airing in winter though. Is it summer in Thailand?? I thought they were above the equator. Okay yeah they are so idk why they’re singing a song about it being summer. Also I got spoiled for Ruan center! Now I know they wouldn’t just skip her. There’s got to be more intro round performances next episode.

•Okay so my Top 9 picks will be based on who performed in this first episode only so I’m sure it’ll change a lot after ep. 2.

1. R-Jing - She blew me away in the extra performance. Her singing was so pretty! She’s so cute too and apparently trained at SM?? I always latch onto a girl first episode and this is my girl!

2. Akina - Maybe it’s bc of her experience in her past group but she seems really comfortable on stage. I like her vibe and she’s clearly very talented. She seems really nice and down to earth.

3. Rinka - I looked back at her gp999 performances and I can see why I didn’t remember her. She seems to have improved so much though! Her voice stood out positively and she’s got some star power I didn’t see in her old performances. I’m excited to see more of this new Rinka!

4. Lissa - I don’t know how to feel about her strange vibe but I liked her performance. Lots of energy and a nice voice. I’m very intrigued by her at this point.

5. MingMing- such a clear and pretty voice!!! Her and Pangjang together were both the vocal highlights of their team’s performance but MingMing is the only one of the two thats over my voting age limit.

6. Mamcú - Really interesting and beautiful voice. Apparently she competed on the Voice?? We’ll need to wait and see how she does with dancing but she seems really earnest about her desire to he an idol not just a singer so I’ll put my faith in her!

7. Shye - We barely got to see her performance but I was intrigued by what we saw. I don’t know if she can dance yet but I’ll find out soon enough. And lets be real, I have a lil crush on her and thats enough to get you in the top 9 at this point in the game. I mean look at her in her leather jacket!

8. Emma - Her dancing was great and she choreographs her own stuff too! I was really impressed by her dance skills both in her extra performance and the dance battle!

9. Tegan - gorgeous gorgeous deep voice! She’s so pretty too! I really liked her but I have no idea if she can dance. I feel like if she could she would have shown it since she got two performances so I’m hesitant.

Honorable Mentions:

Krista Shim - I’m not voting for Krista because she’s under the age I decided on being my voting limit but honestly I’d put money on her making it to the final group. You can just tell with these shows. It's in the way they edit it.

Mao Xiu Ling & Mao Xiu Ting - Of course we have a pair of twins! I’ve always loved this survival show gimmick. I love their look and their dance together was really cool! 

Kaylen - The other half of the Hawaiian Duo! Kaylen pulling Jackson Wang up to the stage with her was such a power move. I didn’t like her solo performance as much as her partner Tegan’s though

Praew- I liked her energy when she introduced herself and then her dancing was insane! I will not be voting for her because she’s 15. She's just a baby.

[finelinevogue]

the fact that Y/N has post natal depression Is somewhat refreshing idk I just don't see it talked about much on here and if it is it's like Hella angsty and the partner doesn't understand what it is but I was wondering if u could touch on it a bit more cause it's something I'm really scared about happening to me and I just want harry to hold me and tell me it's going be okay 😚😚😚😚

P.s. if u don't wanna it's understandable

anon: can u write about harry helping y/n through her ppd maybe like the 3rd time was so bad that h decide that he won’t be having more children

so this was requested twice so i would love to be able to write this for you both, hope this is okay - mind it’s heavily angsty!;

tw: vomiting, ppd and od

oli - 4, felix - 3, belle - 12 weeks

Motherhood was really fucking hard.

The birth of your newly born daughter, Isabella, had really taken a back pedal on your mental health. You had suffered with post natal depression after the birth of your two sons, but nothing as bad as this.

It had hit you around the 7 week mark after giving birth. The pregnancy itself was okay, even though she was slightly premature, but it was after you’d taken her home that it’d all spiralled downhill. It started with complications with her breastfeeding - like she was rejecting the milk that you had produced. It hurt to see her reject you and your body, finding more comfort in drinking from a pre-made milk bottle as her dad rocked her to sleep. You recall the evening so clearly and felt like an utter failure as you watched her drink a bottle of formula for the first time.

“Ssh ssh,” Harry cooed to your 7 week old daughter as he rocked her in his arms on the rocking chair in her nursery. She was whining because she was hungry, but the problem was that she wasn’t accepting your milk. She hadn’t been accepting your milk all day and now it was becoming dangerous for you to keep on saying ‘Oh i’ll just try later.’ Harry had told you to make a formula bottle for her. “Mummy’s coming.”

As much as you didn’t want to, you were walking back to the nursery with a warm bottle in your hands. You’d tested it on your hand to make sure it wasn’t too hot and then taken a sip to taste it, out of jealousy, and you thought that it didn’t taste any different to you. Then again you’re not a 7 week old human whose only date is milk.

“Look here’s mummy with your yummy milk, okay? Look Belles!” Harry cooed at his darling angel and you only wished he wasn’t as happy for her as he was.

“Yeah.” You spoke softly, handing him the bottle and standing nearby, part of you hoping that she would reject this too and she wasn’t just rejecting you.

But no, she drank the formula like it was her last meal.

“Such a sweet girl, aren’t you?” Harry praised her, watching her in awe as she kept on drinking the formula. Watching as she was drinking to become the strong girl you knew she’d become. It just hurt that it wasn’t you that could help her become that.

You felt powerless. Worthless, even. The one thing that you had carried the weight of your breasts around to do and you couldn’t even do it. Your nipples were so sore and your breasts ached so badly and it was all for nothing. Perhaps it was punishment for being such a bad mum. Perhaps you’d never been good enough for this job and it was your bodies way of shutting you down forever. You wouldn’t need the ability to produce milk anymore, because you weren’t worth the title of becoming one again. You wanted to be happy for your little one, seeing her happy but all you felt was rejection and sadness. She didn’t think you were good enough to be her mum and that really hurt.

Along with the breastmilk problem, Belle also became very stubborn when you wanted to change her nappy. Anytime you tried to change and help her she put up a fuss, kicking her legs and sometimes she would bite or hit you away. It was just a reminder that you weren’t a good enough mum for her and that she didn’t feel safe enough around you. She didn’t find comfort in your presence and she was so fussy about what you did around her. With Harry, though, she was an angel. She loved him so much and obviously he made her feel so loved and safe - something you’d clearly never be able to give her.

There was also the chores of being a mother to your other two sons too. Oli and Felix were old enough to understand that they had a baby sister, but they weren’t old enough to understand how miserable you were. Harry wasn’t even able to figure it out yet. You tried your best to put on your bravest face, knowing that your family needed you to be strong but the truth was that you were crumbling on the inside. You were feeling less and less like yourself and you were waiting for the moment when you’d completely fall apart. Nothing felt right anymore. Everything was just numb.

“You two boys okay?”

You walked into the children’s playroom see that they were sat at the little table colouring in. Felix’s little legs dangled slightly, whereas Oli’s legs touched the floor and it made your heart swell at how big they were both getting.

“Yep!” Oli cheered, scribbling with his left hand as his tiny tongue stuck out from his lips as he concentrated - a habit passed onto him from his father.

“What are you both drawing?” You asked, coming over and kneeling on the floor beside them and having a peek at their drawings.

“We’re colouring for daddy.” Felix answered, some of the words not being pronounced properly due to his young lisp and lack of being taught how to say things correctly yet.

His words stung though. You appreciated that he was only a toddler and he meant nothing evil or malicious by it, but it hurt to think that maybe, just maybe, your sons were doing this for their dad because he did so much more for them than you did. Of course you tried to be the best mum you could, but maybe you weren’t doing enough. Maybe you weren’t meant to be a mum after all, or at least not a good one.

“O-oh,” you tried to hold back the tears in your eyes because your boys looked so proud at their artwork - and you should be too. “Tell me about them then, my loves.”

Oli went first, “So this is me and this is Oli and this is dad. It’s us playing football like we did the other day, mummy.” He pointed out to each of the figures, some looking actually quite terrifying but you’d never have the heart to tell him that. The figures were all holding hands though and it hurt to think that you weren’t a part of that.

“Oh that’s so good Ols!” you rubbed his head of hair and then turned to Felix’s, “What about you Fix?”

“I drew daddy as the best.” He pointed to a trophy that the figure - more like a stick-man-slenderman - was holding, which was decorated with the award of ‘my hero’.

“I told him to write hero, mummy.” Oli added, and you smiled at both of them.

“Well done. Good job both of you. Daddy will love these!” You only wished that they would draw something for you. You hated to think that you were being petty, but honestly you just wanted to feel loved. “Shall I go cut up some apple for a snack, hey?” You asked, trying to feel useful.

“Daddy is making us smoothies!” Felix answered and you had to stand up, up and away from their heigh, so they didn’t catch the tears in your eyes.

“Okay! Don’t forget to give him those pictures - he’ll love those.” You praised them and they both giggled to each other.

The sight of your sons laughing should’ve made you so happy, but it only reminded you that you weren’t the source of their happiness. You weren’t on their mind enough to be their inspiration for drawings. You definitely weren’t their hero. You were just a woman to them, not a mum. You wanted to be so much more but it was clear that they didn’t need you. They were loved by their dad and each other, not in need of your heart.

Eventually Belle settled down and was sleeping better through the night, leaving you and Harry to much more peaceful nights sleep. Well, just Harry.

You had found it near impossible to get to sleep now. You lay awake at night wondering when Belle would next wake up, wondering when she’d next need you. Harry was always quick out of bed though, even if he actually was sleeping, to help her ordering you to stay in bed and rest yourself. You couldn’t help feel like he was telling you to stay put because he knew you wouldn’t be able to do your job properly - and you started to believe him.

You’d found yourself getting jealous of those that could get to sleep. When you were walking down the road you’d judge a person by how much sleep they looked like they got last night. You definitely looked like you only had 2 hours - even when you’d only had 37 minutes but who’s counting? Your dark circles were heavily noticeable, but no one cared enough to ask. Even Harry stayed clear of you more and more often; spending more time with the kids than you and sleeping on his side of the bed instead of yours at nighttime.

There had been one evening where you had been so restless that Harry had gotten so frustrated and left the room, with a blanket and a pillow, and slept on the couch. You’d never felt so much like a burden than that night. Your family was rejecting you and you felt like a failure. You were a success at failing in everything. The meals you cooked went half eaten by everyone because you would’ve forgotten to add a key ingredient. The children preferred to spend more time playing with their dad because you weren’t energised enough to play the games they wanted to. Your daughter still rejected your milk. It was all too much and you just wanted one nights peace for it to change.

Last night had been that night.

Fuck these were so addicting. You were finally getting the sleep that you so badly craved, only with the help of tablets.

You wanted the sleep because that was the one place you could escape to. You needed that escape to help you get out of bed the next morning. Life was too hard for you to not dream, and without dreaming you didn’t want life.

It started off with taking one every night before bed, but then they stopped working again, so you started taking two, then three. Four was obviously where your body hit its limit.

“Mummy? Can you come tuck me in please?” Oli asked, little toy giraffe in hand and shaking you in hopes of waking you up to send him peacefully off to sleep.

You’d gone to bed a bit earlier tonight, lying saying that you were extremely exhausted. Harry said he would be able to handle things and that’s when you excitedly ran upstairs to take your pills; 4 of them. You’d made it into your bed, feeling slightly drowsy after completing your nighttime routine, but then you started to feel unwell and really ill. Before you’d passed out you’d stuck your fingers down your throat in hopes to make the feeling in your stomach disappear, but it ended up you throwing up all over the bed and pass out right there.

“Mummy! Wake up!” Oli rattled your back, but you were still unresponsive.

Oli padded out of the room and down to his sisters room where he knew his dad was. Belle was being extra fussy this evening and Harry suspected it had everything to do with you retiring early. He heard Oli come into the room just as he’d gotten Belle down.

“Y’alright buddy?” Harry whispered, tip-toeing out of Belle’s room, leaving the door open slightly, and crouched down in front of him.

“No. Mummy’s not waking up.” Oli pouted, rubbing a tired fist over his eye.

“She’s probably in dreamland, bud. She was really tired today.”

“She’s really tired all of the times.”

“I know, Ol.” Because Harry did know, but he was too much of a coward to face up to the problem. The doctors had said that post natal depression can strengthen with every birthed child, but he was too blind sighted by the fact that you’d overcome the first birthed post natal depression so quickly, and was so in love with his baby girl, that he didn’t truly see how bad things had gotten. Harry had tried giving you some space, distancing himself from you in bed and spending more time with the kids so you could relax and rest up, but nothing seemed to be working. He was surprised, actually, that you’d been having better sleep recently and so was hopeful that maybe the worst of the depression was over.

Hell, was he so wrong.

“Go to bed, bud okay? I’ll be there in a minute.”

“Wake mummy up so she can give me a kiss.”

“I’ll try little man, alright?” Harry scuffed his sons hair and then watched him walk off to his room.

Harry walked into your dark room, the air smelling slightly sour, and walked around to your side of the bed. He sat down next to you sighed heavily. He needed to speak to you, no matter how tired or angry you’d be with him. He was losing you as a wife and a mother and a soulmate and a lover. He was just losing you, just as you were losing yourself and he was doing tip-toeing around the problem any longer. He was going to try and make this better. He was going to better understand how you were feeling in order to help you.

“Baby?” He spoke softly, nudging you gently, “Baby wake up.” No response. “Y/N, my love? Wake up for me darling, need to speak with you.” Normally you would’ve stirred by now but there was still nothing. “Y/N?” Harry shook you a bit more urgently now - one that would surely wake even the deepest of sleepers. “Y/N!” He shouted, perhaps a bit too loudly for the comfort of his children.

He turned you over and that’s when he knew this was very, very, bad.

Your face was pale grey and your mouth was covered in the remains of vomit, and he suddenly understood the gross sour smell from before. Your hair was greasy and stuck all in the wet sick all over your face. Your eyes were puffy from the remains of tears. You looked dead.

“No, no, no. Y/N! No you don’t.” Harry’s eyes starting weeping and he couldn’t think straight. He checked your pulse on your wrist and timed it - it was unhealthily faint. He wouldn’t be surprised if you were in your last beats of your heart. His tears and sobs were uncontrollable, but he had to be both strong for you and his children, as well as for him. “Fuck sake pull yourself together Harry. Okay, baby hold on please. Okay? You don’t get to leave me like this, you hear me? I love you so much, baby. Fuck i’m so sorry.” He gently placed your head back down on the pillow and pulled out his phone.

999

“What’s your emergency?”

“I need a-an ambulance p-please. I-I think my wife i-is dying.”

The rest of it was a blur for Harry. Him trying to wake you up. The ambulance arriving. Oli and Felix crying when they saw you being carried away on a stretcher. Belle’s deafening screams. Harry’s heart beating for the both of you.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

It was the rhythmic beeping sounds that woke you up.

Your whole body felt achey and sore, your head a pounding mess. You opened your eyes slowly, adjusting them to the light of the room. You expected to see the family photo on the wall opposite you and the white of your curtains, but you were met with a heart-monitor machine and a hospital bed instead. You looked down at your body and noticed a cannula in your arm, making you squirm because you hated stuff like that so much. Your nose had a tube running inside it too, feeding you the oxygen your lungs weren’t receiving properly.

It then dawned on you how you weren’t in the room alone. You saw a sleeping Anne and Gemma on the chairs in the far corner, with Felix and Oli tucked against their sides - Anne with Oli and Felix with Gemma. It was so cute to see them so cuddled up close. They looked peaceful. You took note of the baby pram that was at the end of your bed, most likely playing bed to your beautiful daughter. Your mind felt lost. You can’t really remember what had happened, apart from taking four of those sleeping pills. You fully remember the weight of feeling worthless and useless as both a mum and a wife, though, and that feeling was still very prominent.

Your eyes lastly landed to the side of you, where Harry was sat but also laid on your bed. The top of half of his body laid upon the bed, his head buried onto this arm deep within the bed, whilst his bottom stayed rooted to the chair. His hand was holding yours tightly, which was a sign that he wasn’t asleep. You were so scared to face him though. You had failed him, again and again and you weren’t sure whether you could be enough for him anymore. Enough for your family anymore.

You squeezed his hand three times saying ‘I love you.’

“Y/N,” He whispered so hoarsely, but you were so focused on him to even catch it. He looked ruined, and you’d done that to him. His eyes were dark and tired, but also red and puffy from where he’d been crying. His hair was a mess and you could tell it hadn’t been washed in a while. How long had you been out for? You felt rested in your sleep, but not in your mind or your heart.

“I—” Your breathe got caught in your throat, but you persevered to finish your words. He deserved to here them. “I’m sorry.” You were whispering so you didn’t disturb anyone else in the room.

“No, stop it. I’m sorry baby.”

“Harry don’t, you don’t have anyt—”

“Stop yes I do I—”

“Harry please you don’t owe—”

“Y/N listen!” He cut the little volley-conversation and ordered you to just stop. You started crying when you saw that he was too. “Whatever you’re going to say, don’t. Whatever you’re thinking, stop it right now. Because I love you. Fuck, I do. I love you so much that when I found you unconscious in a pile of your own sick thinking you were dead, my only thought was that I wished it were me instead”.

“Harry, you don’t mean—”

“My god Y/N! You don’t get it, do you? I would do anything to switch places with you right now. I would suffer a thousand times over if it meant you were okay. I’d suffer in hell for you. Nobody else but you has ever made me feel like this. I married you because I love you and I want to wake up next to you every day of my beating hearts life. I chose to have children with you, because I knew how great of a mum you’d be and what beautiful people you’d help bring up into the world—”

“But i’m not.” You cut Harry short, trying to pull your hand away from him but he didn’t let you - only tightening his grip and pulling himself closer towards you. He was so close you could kiss him.

“Not what?” He asked, although he already knew the answer. You’d both had this conversation before, but you were both tired of it and were ready for it to be your last now.

“A good mum. I’m- i’m not a good mum or wife, Harry and i’m sorry.”

“I told you not say it and stop thinking it, because you’re completely wrong Y/N. You’re a good mother and a good wife, because you are a good person.”

“But i’m not great.” You whimpered, thinking back to the drawings your Oli and Felix had done. “I’m not the best.”

“But you don’t have to be, baby. You see our beautiful, healthy, happy and safe babies over there?” Harry turned to look at them, love in his eyes as in yours. “They wouldn’t be all those things, no matter how you feel about yourself, without you. I could never have brought them up to be half the people they are without you by my side, the way you make me a better person. You claim you don’t got this, but baby you’re already doing it and have been doing it for 5 years with our children and so much longer with me.”

“I’m just so fucked up Harry.” Your head tilted back on the pillow as you got heavily emotional over the situation.

Harry shook his head and moved his hand to cup the back of your neck, moving your head forwards until it met his. The touch of his skin against yours, no matter where and how small, made you feel alive and you’d missed him and that feeling so much. You missed loving him so much.

“Listen to me.” He ordered, keeping you still. “You are strong and you are brave Y/N Styles. No matter what you tell yourself I will be here every goddamn day of my life, if I have to, to remind you that you are worth more than your fucking weight in gold. You are my heart. You are my soul and the mother to my greatest achievements. I know they are yours too, just as I know I am your heart.

“You are.” You whispered so quietly under your breathe, but Harrys heart warmed when he caught you saying it. He knew though.

“Just let me love you. Let me be there for you. If you want medication then let’s do it, and i’ll be there for every step of the way. If you want to go to a rehabilitation centre for a bit, that’s okay we can—”

You shook your head and licked the tears away from your face. You were both such tearful messes, but the love between you was undeniable. “No, no please, no.”

“Okay, okay, love. We won’t. See, you’re okay. I promise, you’re okay. Stay with me, yeah? I’ll love you and keep you safe, just as you will me.”

“Promise.” You told him sincerely. He brought his lips to yours with that single word. He was so proud of your for being so brave and strong. He wishes he was half the person you were. His lips conveyed those thoughts of his and you could taste the love and passion burning through his heart and out on to his lips. He tasted like home. z he was home. Your lips smacked together messily, but you didn’t care because you loved each other too much and had kissed each other even more. Once you pulled back he stayed close to you, smiling at you with such awe. “I think.. I think I want to try medication please.”

Harry didn’t say ‘okay’ or ‘sure thing’, no. He said four words that meant more to you in that moment that any others in the universe. More than saying ‘I love you.’ Words that reminded you that not everything is okay and that sucks really bad, but you’re doing your best to get through it. It was a reminder that you had so many people who loved you and cared for you. It was a gun at the starting line symbolising that the journey ahead wasn’t going to be easy, but worth it.

“I’m proud of you.”

[bellinghamount]

mcdonald’s | mason mount

summary: you and mason “fight” for a Happy Meal toy, and he shows you what's more important than a toy

word count: 1742

warnings: its a mix of fluff with slight smut (idk?), nudism, nipple play, hickeys and touchs

“Mason.”

“What's it?” He asked, a little worried, since Y/N was serious.

“I'm hungry.” She said, and he laughed at himself for thinking of something more serious. He got up and pulled Y/N to her feet too. They were in his apartment and had just made up after a little discussion.

“Come, let's order something in the app.”

“Will you take me on your back?” She asked, snidely, already standing.

“To the living room?!” Mason looked back and asked, discredited, but her puppy eyes eventually convince him. “Get up there.” He said, turning his back, and Y/N made a happy little jump before climbing the bed to climb on his back.

“You have to use those strong arms of yours for something besides attracting the eyes of those women who think you're single.”

“Y/N, I'm a footballer. I need muscle in my arms like in all body.” Mason laughed and held her legs around him, steadying hands on her thighs as Y/N hugged his neck.

“I know, but I can also enjoy a little bit.” She gave him a kiss on the shoulder and then one on the cheek. The footballer smiled, starting to walk out of the room. Anyone viewing the scene from the outside might find it ridiculous, but what could he do? He loved that girl.

Mount left Y/N on the couch and sat beside her, who wasted no time in stretching her legs over his. He pulled out his cell phone, opening the food app and selecting McDonald's as his restaurant.

“What do you want?”

“Me?”

“No, Y/N, Ben.”

“But he's not even here… Mason! Idiot, where's your romanticism?” Y/N asked, rolling her eyes, and Mason laughed.

“Along with my hunger. Can you just say it, babe?”

“Let me see which ones have.” Y/N asked, and Mason handed her the cellphone. Y/N began to slide through the hamburger options of the famous fast food franchise.

“Y/N, they're the same ones you have in the physical restaurant.”

“Calm down, I'm choosing, Mount.” Mason crossed his arms, waiting until Y/N and finally decided to hand the phone to him. “Ready.”

He looked at the lunch she selected and looked at Y/N again.

“Happy Meal? Really, Y/N? Choose people food!” He laughs ‘cause Happy Meal was clearly a snack for children.

“But I want this one.”

“With CBO, McFish, Big Mac, Big Tasty, do you really want the Happy Meal?” He arched his eyebrows at her, and Y/N snorted.

“Wants to know? I do not want anymore.”

“No, you took me out of the room to come eat, so now go eat!”

“Mase, you're so boring.”

Mason ignored her, adding a Big Mac to the cart and two Cokes. He laughed when another page appeared on the app's screen.

“What are you laughing at?”

“You need to choose the toy, babe.” He replied, handing her the cellphone. Y/N took it, despising the fact that Mason is having fun at your expense. She watched the toys. They were all from Snoopy NASA.

“I didn't like any.”

“Choose anyone.” Y/N looked at the phone, pouting. Mason took it, impatiently. “All right, I choose.”

He selected the first one he saw and managed to complete the order. He entered his credit card details to complete the purchase.

They watched a movie while lunch didn't arrive, half the time Y/N had used just to choose one of the movies from the Netflix catalog.

Y/N took two bites of her Happy Meal and looked at Mason, who was sipping his soda.

“Babe.”

“Hi, Y/N.” He replied after taking a bite of his Big Mac, which he held with both hands.

“You could give me a little piece.”

“What?”

“Can I have a piece of yours? “ Y/N did its best his compelling face, that Mason ignored.

“No, I'm hungry. Keep yours.”

“I don't want mine anymore.” She said, leaving the Happy Meal on the coffee table. She crossed her legs over the couch and walked over to Mason.

“Y/N, get out of here.” He said, laughing and walking away, Big Mac in hand. She pretended to be angry. He showed her the little Snoopy figure dressed in an orange astronaut costume. “Look at your toy.”

“I don't want this stupid toy, I want a Big Mac.”

“Y/N, I'm gonna hit you with the fries” Mason said, leaving the hamburger on the table, pretending to be annoyed. Y/N smiled because she knew he was getting mad, even if it wasn't for real. “Wait, I'll order more then.”

He made a move to pull his cellphone out of his pocket, but Y/N caught his arm, stopping him.

“But I don't want all, just a piece.” He muttered. Mason looked at her for a few seconds, giving up and handing her his burger. Y/N smiled in victory and let him take her Happy Meal. Y/N bit into her lunch, content, and laughed, looking at Mason, who was silently eating his. He smeared the sauce on his face a few times, and Y/N would threaten to splash soda on him.

“Babe, I don't want more.” Y/N said, and he looked at his hands, where he should have had a hamburger. Of his Big Mac, there was only paper left.

“But you ate it all!”

“I know, it was delicious.” Y/N laughed, and he snorted. He picked up one of the last chips and brought it to his mouth. “Now you can give me my toy.”

“Your toy? I ate the Happy Meal, so the toy is mine!” He replied, pretending the best face of seriousness and authority he could. Y/N crossed her arms.

“But I want.”

“Your problem.” He was dying to laugh with the toy in hand.

“Give it to me.”

“No!”

“Mason, please.” The footballer sighed and looked at her.

“So come and get it.”

Y/N smiled and went for him without hesitation, but she couldn't catch anything. Instead, she kissed him as he hugged her around the waist. There was no other hug in which Y/N felt safer.

“Mase, I love you.”

“I love you too, bae.” He replied, smiling and kissing her again.

“Will you give me my toy then?” She asked, feeling the footballer’s hands invading her shirt and moving slowly up her stomach, but in an intense way. Y/N felt chills. It was as if Mason wanted to register his fingerprints on her.

“I'll think about your case.” He said, sinking his hands in her hair and directing his lips to her neck, after tearing off the blouse she was wearing, dropping it somewhere on the floor of the room.

“Do you want to make me happy, Mount? So give me my toy!” She exclaimed, and Mason chuckled at her childishness. Y/N squealed as, quickly, Mount reversed positions, getting on top of her.

“I know another way to make you happy.” He whispered in her ear, biting her earlobe and lowering his lips from her neck to her breast. Y/N hugged him in response, both with her legs and her arms.

“Oh yes? So I want both.”

“You are very possessive, you know?” He asked and raised his head to look at her. Y/N looked back at him.

“No, I'm ambitious.”

Mason lowered his head again, keeping his eyes on her tits. He wanted to appreciate every detail of her bra before acting with all the care and delicacy as his hands found themselves under her, working their way to the clasp at the back. Y/N felt at the center of the world when she was with him and she loved knowing that Mason appreciated that.

“And what do you want right now?” He asked, taking off her bra, and Y/N gave him her best libidinous smile as her right hand moved down, opening a space between their bodies together, until it reached his crotch and her fingers curled around his cock, giving it a hard squeeze. Mason gasped and took a bite of her lip.

“Was I too sincere?” She asked, and Mason shook his head.

“I think sincerity is everything in life and the basis for any relationship.” He said, taking a good look at her bare breasts.

“Explain the context.”

“I like you.” He shifted his gaze between her and her tits, putting a hand to one of them. “But your boobs too. But it doesn't change anything between us, you know?” Y/N smirked and bit her lip as Mason bent his head to suck on one of her hardened nipples. “It's just a detail, well, a very big and beautiful detail. But nothing that affects our relationship.” She sighed as his hand squeezed her left breast as his lips kissed her right. Mason left a hickey there and climbed up again, bringing his lips close to hers and staring into her eyes. “Sure, if I didn't like you, I wouldn't like your boobs.”

Y/N laughed at his explanation, and Mason followed suit. She hugged him tighter and kissed him hard, determined to get rid of the rest of their clothes. And so they did, without the lull and sluggishness of before. Y/N let that Mason smudged any remnants of makeup on her face and gave her all the attention his body seemed to crave. God, it had never seemed so difficult to be away from him for a whole day.

She could see all the affection and passion they gave off as they undressed. She felt an incandescent flame grow inside her, mixed with an uncontrollable desire each time Mason touched her. It wasn't just for orgasms that Mason made Y/N burn. She burned inside too, in her heart. And contrary to popular belief, it was in a good way.

[fredshufflepuff]

Hii :)

Could I request a Marauders x Reader where the Marauders spent a lot of time without her and she feels like they don’t love her anymore or like they are just using her for sex.

But with a happy ending :)

Have a great day !!!

always love you || r.l x j.p x s.b ✧˖*°࿐

summary: the boys have been ignoring you for the past few days, making you wonder what you did wrong.

a/n: my first marauders imagine, IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS ONE TURN IT UP

warnings: poly!relationship, fem!reader, pet names, little angst, mentions of sex BUT NO ACTUAL SEX, crying, lots of fluff, feeling sad??? man idk

word count: idk a lot of words. LMAO SORRY it’s 1,468

you sat at the gryffindor table with wondering eyes, trying to find where your boyfriends could be as you nibbled on a piece of toast.

they’d usually meet you at breakfast, remus being the first one up, followed by james and then some time later sirius.

but when they never came, your stomach dropped and your mood soured. this was the third time they’ve skipped out on breakfast, and you couldn’t help but think that maybe this was your fault.

the boys loved to eat, no matter how busy or stressed they were, they would always join you for a quick snack.

but not recently.

recently you’ve felt like they’ve been avoiding you.

it was a crazy and paranoid thought, but these past few days have just been proving your suspicion.

“james!” you called out, the speckled boy snapping his head towards you with wide eyes, he looked just like a dear in the headlights.

you made your way through the sea of students, pushing lightly past students to get to the boy.

“hi jamesie” you smiled once you finally got to him, your arms wrapping around his torso out of instinct.

“h-hi” he stutter out, your eyebrows knitting together at his voice change. james never stuttered, unless he was hiding something.

“what’s wrong?”

“i just, havetogo” he rushed out, your arms dropping from his waist as he spun on his heel and walked off.

now you really felt like shit. why was he so jumpy? why was he so nervous? especially around you.

you couldn’t help but think back to the last time you hung out with the boys, the three of them fucking you in a broom closet after classes.

your stomach seemed to sink, not flutter when you thought about your last interaction with them. usually you’d be flustered, a little giggly maybe, but you just felt disgusted.

did you do something wrong during that intimate moment? maybe you did something they didn’t like, or said something that turned them off.

oh my god, did you turn them off? were they no longer attracted to you? is that why james tensed up when you hugged him?

you hadn’t realized you were crying until you felt your face get wet, your hands quickly and aggressively wiping under your eyes.

you didn’t want to jump to conclusions, and decide right there and then that the boys didn’t love you anymore. but it was hard, hard to see anything other than that.

throughout the day you kept yourself busy, going to your dorm to eat and hiding in the library to do your work—not like anyone was looking for you anyways.

“i saw her go in just minutes ago!” sirius whisper shouted, the boys standing outside your door debating on what to do.

they saw you brush past them in the common room without saying a word, no kisses or hugs, no anything.

which was extremely unusual of you. you were always affectionate with them, asking them how their days were while cuddling them in bed, something the boys loved and always looked forward too.

“are you sure?” james asked, sirius thumping him up side the head with a scowl, “of course i am!”

“sirius! knock it off” remus scolded, your boys bickering back and forth with each other—only waking you from your nap.

“i’m going to go in, stay here and don’t kill each other.”

you quickly turned on your side and closed your eyes, pretending you were asleep to avoid any type of interaction.

the door creaked open slowly, making you cringe to yourself as footsteps entered the room.

“y/n? love, are you awake?” remus’s soft voice spoke, the door closing behind him as he made his way over to the bed.

“pup, i know when you’re sleeping” he said, the mattress dipping as a hand cupped the side of your face.

“i’m sleeping” you mumbled, sarcasm laced in your words as you turned to stuff your face in the pillow.

remus’s face twisted in confusion, surprised by your sudden attitude towards him. you never acted like that towards him. james? somethings if he got on your nerves but it was rare. sirius? all the time.

but you never dared to with remus. he was the more gentle and soft one of the three boys, always giving you the opportunity to explain yourself and tell him what’s going on.

“what’s the problem, pup? why the attitude?” he asked, not wanting his temper to get the best of him.

something was obviously bothering you, he needed to comfort you, not snap at you for the way you were talking to him.

“do you love me anymore?”

your voice was muffled by the pillow but remus could hear you clearly, his heart dropping as soon as those words had left your mouth.

“do i love you anymore?! of course i do, i’ve never stopped. what made you think i didn’t?”

his hand dropped to your arm, urging you to look at him. but when you did, his stomach dropped when he saw the tears clouding your glossy eyes.

“oh baby” he cooed, not wasting anytime in bringing you into a much needed hug, his warming embrace comforting you immediately, “don’t cry, darling. just tell me what’s been on that pretty little mind of yours, tell me how i can help.”

“you’ll think i’m stupid...” you mumbled, hiding your face in his chest as wet tears stained his school shirt.

“you aren’t stupid, puppy. and neither are your feelings” he assured, his large hand resting on the small of your back while the other stroked your hair, something that always calmed you.

“i just...i-i thought you fell out of love with me because you’ve been avoiding me. not intentionally i guess, but james was definitely odd with me, l-like he didn’t want to be around m-me” your voice cracked, the thought of your boys not loving you back clouding your thoughts.

remus sighed lowly after your mini rant, your heart clenching as you couldn’t help but look up at him.

“w-what?” you asked, really not wanting to know what he had to say, as you only feared for the worst.

“james wants to be around you, everyone does. but i told him to stay away” he said, your eyebrows knitting together as your mouth opened slightly, but remus had cut you off, “you know jamesie can’t keep a secret for the life of him.”

“mhm” you nodded, “b-but what secret?”

“our anniversary is coming up—me, padfoot and prongs wanted to surprise you with a nice, relaxing dinner in the astronomy tower. i just didn’t want james accidentally ruining the surprise—but, i guess i just did that, didn’t i?” remus laughed to himself, his explanation making your heart swell but break at the same time.

they were planning a dinner for you? you felt like shit, instead of letting them do their thing without question, you assumed the worst. you assumed they didn’t love you anymore and were only using you for one thing, sex.

“i’m sorry, remus” you whispered, his eyes widening as he quickly comforted you. “no, pup. you have no reason to be sorry.”

“b-but i-”

“did nothing wrong. you had every right to get upset, i should’ve taped prongs mouth shut instead of keep him away” he said, half joking as you giggled stiffly.

“so...you aren’t mad?” you asked, your boyfriend tucking a piece of lose hair behind your ear before kissing the tip of your nose.

“i could never be mad at you, pup. i love you so much.”

“i love you too, remus” you smiled, cuddling into his chest as he hugged you tightly.

“can we come in now?”

“almost forgot about those knuckle heads” remus mumbled, another giggle leaving your lips as your two boys entered the room.

“everything okay in here, pup?” james asked, a pout on his face when he noticed the tears stained into your cheeks.

“now it is” you smiled assuringly, ushering for him to join you along with sirius.

“although i think you look hot covered in tears, i don’t like you feeling unloved” sirius said, speaking up as he sat next to you, his hand column to on your back.

“i never said unloved...just-”

“hey, it was only a few days” remus cut off, the pad of his thumb running under your eye softly, “but i promise you we’ll do everything for you to feel included. even if that involves planning a date for our girl.”

“which, just by the way, i didn’t spoil this time!” james pointed out, a smile on your face as remus shoved him playfully.

“you all owe me kisses from the last three days” you said, turning around in remus’s lap so you could toss your legs over sirius’s thighs, a warm smile on his face.

“we’ll do more than that, pup. don’t you worry.”

marauders tag list 🏷 @fjorelaant @drachoesimp @msmb @pinkandblueblurbs @roonilwazlibswhore @dlmmdl @dagirlintheback @onyourgoddamnleft @moonyinthelight @iamnibbsi @samineisntmyname @amourtentiaa @elizabethrosedarling @authorb @justasmolballofstress @persephonestoad @letmereadpls @escapingrealitybyreading

[lemonpeter]

I Know Who You Pretend I Am

Idk if anyone else has seen the tiktok trend thing but. Yeah. This is based on that.

Yes I cried while writing it. Yes I’m a cry baby. Yes I’m still crying. Enjoy 💕

Warnings: HS au, parent death mention, Tony misses his mom

***

Peter laughed, nearly flipping over the bowl of popcorn that sat on the couch. “Oh, shi- shoot,” he corrected. He shot a sheepish glance at May, who just smiled fondly.

“You know I don’t care if you curse, Peter. As long as it’s in the right setting.” She wrapped her arm around his shoulder and pressed a kiss to his temple.

The teen smiled, snuggling into his aunt’s touch. He’d never get tired of her love.

“So,” May started, pulling back to look into his eyes. “When’s he supposed to get here?”

Peter’s cheeks colored slightly. “Any minute now, really. I told him-“ there was a knock at the door and he sat up. “That’s gotta be him.”

He quickly made his way to the door, flinging it open and grinning when he saw his boyfriend. “Hi, Tony.”

The older boy smiled, brushing a hand through his hair. “Hey, Pete. I brought-“ he held up the bag he was holding. “A couple games. Some of the ones you mentioned not having.”

Peter grabbed his free hand, pulling him inside. “Perfect! Cmon, we’ll get started!”

Tony nodded, eyeing May nervously. It wasn’t that he was scared of her, it wasn’t that. He just wanted her to like him so badly. She was Peter’s mom, basically. He wanted her to have a good impression of him.

Plus maybe it was a little selfish too. He wanted her to care about him like she did Peter. But he wouldn’t ever admit to that.

As the night went on, and they played their games, things got more comfortable. They were all happy and fairly relaxed.

May didn’t miss the way that Tony kept glancing at her when he won. Or got something right.

She didn’t hesitate to congratulate him or tell him that she was proud. And she saw how happy it made him every time.

Her heart broke for him. She remembered hearing the news about Maria and Howard. And how Peter mentioned Tony had missed school for so long afterwards.

She also remembered taking in a little boy after the same thing happened to him.

Maybe Tony was older, but she knew it would still hurt. And sometimes a boy just needed his mom.

When they were in-between games, Peter jumped up to refill their snacks. “I’ll be right back,” he promised, grabbing the bowls and empty containers.

His aunt nodded before shifting her attention to Tony.

He glanced away when he saw her looking at him, biting the inside of his cheek.

He knew that he was being too obvious. That was embarrassing. He didn’t want her to know how desperate he was for her to love him too.

Although he knew that that wasn’t quite the whole picture.

May looked at Tony, giving him a smile. “Come here, it’s okay. I won’t bite,” she teased lightly.

She didn’t mind giving him the affection he clearly needed. She didn’t mind one bit. And she didn’t mind that he was using her as a stand-in for his mom. She knew what was going on.

He nervously moved to her, but relaxed as soon as her arms were around him.

There was something so maternal, so perfect about May Parker. Something he hadn’t had in so long.

Against his every wish, he instantly felt tears pricking behind his eyes and his throat burning. He didn’t want to cry. There was no reason for him to cry.

But then May just held him tighter. And leaned to his ear, whispering to where just he could hear. “I know you miss her.”

And he couldn’t help the sob that left him.

[heartofwritiing]

I still love you.

Paring(s): Ethan Nestor x fem!reader

a/n: I was in a sad mood again so i got inspiration for this! yay! hope you like it! based on prompts 64. “we need to talk” from this prompt list. I tried to write an argument scene, also idk if I entirely love how this fic turned out. Also NO HATE to Mika I love and respect her and Ethan’s relationship 100% this is literally just for entertainment purposes and not meant to be taken seriously. 

Warning(s): Angst! (grab the tissues) unedited! 

I was planning on staying in tonight but it was Kathryn’s birthday party and I had to go. Amy and Mark insisted that I go to get out of the house and socialize. I knew Ethan would be there and I was dreading even thinking about seeing him. We broke up over a year ago and things didn’t go well. I thought everything was fine and clearly it wasn’t for a while, and I was just delusional. He said he met someone else and he didn’t love me like that anymore, so I left and we haven’t spoken since. Amy and Mark took me in and let me stay in their guest room for as long as I needed but, affording an apartment in southern California was hard and expensive on my own. 

While I was getting ready a gentle knock came at my door.

“It’s me, can I come in?” It was Amy on the other side. 

  I said yes and the door opened. Amy stood in the doorway dressed in a white romper, her makeup and hair were done very nicely to a casual look because she didn't need that much anyways she was pretty on her own. I was just finishing up brushing the knots out of my hair when she sat at the end of my bed. I knew she wanted to chat when she did this, Amy had always been a sister to me since we first met and it was nice to have someone there for me like she was. I started doing a little concealer to cover the dark circles under my eyes but part of me didn’t care about impressing anyone tonight. 

“you okay?” she asks. 

I sigh. I wasn’t sure what to tell her and I didn’t want to lie. She would know if I did kinda like a six sense, she would always know if I was lying or not. 

 “I’m fine,” I say. 

  That wasn’t the whole truth but, It’s been a year and I knew I had to face him at some point. We have the same friends and I didn’t want everyone to feel awkward around us anymore any time the other was mentioned. I’m just tired of everyone acting like everything is wired and wished it would go back to normal.

“You don’t have to go, I know it's been really hard for you and if you're uncomfortable with seeing him-” 

“I'll be fine Ames.” I reassure her. She sighed at my answer but didn’t push further into questioning. 

I finished adjusting my outfit and grabbed my shoes from the floor and pulled them on. We exited my room to see Mark already waiting for us at the front door. He held out both arms for us to take and I raised an eyebrow at him. 

“Shall we ladies?” 

We both giggled but accepted his arms.

“You’re a goof,” Amy laughs. 

-

  Arriving at Kathryn’s house it was a bit crowded with groups talking amongst themselves and some dancing in the living room where music played. Purple lights hung on the walls making the house glow and party streamers hung from the ceiling and some multi colored balloons floated in the conners of the house. It was a pretty chill looking party. The three of us quickly went to find the birthday girl and give hugs and presents. 

“Y/N! You made it!” Kathryn exclaims. She rushes over to me and pulls me into a warm embrace. 

“Of course Kath!” I smiled. “You know I only came for cake,” I wink.  

  She laughs and excuses herself to go greet more guests at the door. I noticed Tyler over by the snack table already chatting with Mark about something I walked over and he greeted me with a hug and he joked how he hasn’t seen me in years. I laughed and shoved his shoulder playfully before he continued his conversation with Mark. I never was into parties or gatherings and preferred hanging out with close friends. The only other person I knew there was Tyler; everyone else was either family or friends of Kath. So I felt like a wallflower for most of the night, which was fine by me since I didn’t like interacting with other people that much.  

About an hour into the party we were all chatting amongst ourselves until the doorbell rang again, and Kathryn went to answer it. When she opened the door I instantly knew who it was since I hadn’t seen him at all yet tonight. Ethan greeted Kathryn with a hug and handed her a medium sized gold box with ribbon tied at the top. She made a motion over to where all of us where standing before heading off the other direction to put the gift on the table.  

  He was here and my brain was panicking. 

My heart was hammering so much I was sure it would bust open my chest. I tried to turn away but I felt frozen and entranced by him. Him and his video game reference t-shirt and jeans. His styled hair, his smile that was contagious that always gave me butterflies. Mark noticed I was quiet for a while and looked over to see me staring at Ethan. He grabbed my hand and held it in his. I knew he was trying to comfort me and it helped. I looked up at him and smiled softly as thanks. He smiled back and continued his conversation with Tyler and I tried to not look in the direction Ethan was in. Instead, I turd to Amy and started talking about something random and she was at first confused then two figures came into my peripheral vision. 

  “Hey guys,” Ethan’s voice came to my ears and I turned to see him standing in front of us all with a girl. Her short green hair stood out and her demeanor seemed nervous. Everyone greeted him back with the same tone except for me but I didn’t think he noticed until his eyes shifted to me and the smile he sent me made me feel dizzy. I give him a very thin smile back. He frowns. 

  “I’m Mika,” the girl standing at his side says. 

Mika gives a small wave to the group. Mark is still holding my hand and I'm trying so hard not to start crying. 

Mark brings up a conversation about an upcoming show he's doing but I zone out. Amy comes to my side and puts a hand around my back. She must've noticed I was starting to get uncomfortable as she leans over into my ear.

“Do you wanna leave?” she whispers. 

I shake my head. 

“I just need the bathroom, be right back.” I say. She nods and gently pats me on the back. I let go of Mark's hand and walked towards the stairs. I've been to Kathryn's house many times so I knew where it was. I could feel everyone's eyes watching me as I walked away but I didn't care. I changed my route to the backdoor slider and pushed it open. I heard a faint call of my name but I ignored it, the chill of california night greeted me as I stepped out into the backyard trying to steady my breathing. 

“Y/N.” 

I froze at the voice. 

It was Ethan. 

“Listen, ” He says. 

At this point I was on the verge of tears but I shook them away and crossed my arms over my chest and turned to face him but I didn't make eye contact out of fear of breaking down. 

“What do you want to talk about?” I asked, shifting my feet. 

I could see him starting to move closer but I kept my eyes to the ground. 

 He inhaled a deep breath. 

“I'm sorry about the way things ended for us and I'm sorry I hurt you.” He said. 

“I wanted to be the very last person to ever hurt you.” 

“Well you failed,” I spit, looking up at him finally. 

His mouth parted, whatever he was going to say next vanished. in his eyes I could tell his mind was racing, searching for the right thing to say next. I clenched my hands at my side as he continued to speak. 

“I felt like shit after

” He says. 

“Then why did you still leave?!” My voice was rising. 

“Because, after what I said I couldn’t bring myself to face you.” 

“So what, you just decided to forget me completely and?” The last words coming out are bitter. 

His eyes narrowed and he took a step closer making me inhale. 

“If you’re referring to Mika, we only just started dating a few months ago.'' he seeths anger laced in his voice. 

“Why would I do that? You think I was happy to leave you?” 

I just shrugged and he scoffed. 

“Well, you were the one who said you didn't love me anymore.” My lip trembling as I thought back to that night he said those words, taking some of his possessions and driving away. 

We stood in silence for a minute before he walked even closer to me and I could hear his breathing. I didn’t see his eyes then he brought his hand up to my chin to tilt my head up to look at him. He smiled softly when our eyes connected then I started crying. 

“Don’t,” I quiver. 

“What?” he asks. 

“Don’t smile at me like everything is fine,”��

“You think I meant that?” 

I nodded. 

“I never stopped loving you.” He says and I gasp. 

 Before I could respond and say I felt the same he was leaning down and capturing my lips with his. I froze for a moment, my eyes going wide in surprise, then relaxed and let him consum me. His arms engulfed around my back to pull me closer so our chests were pressed together, I could feel my heart thumping loudly in my ears and my cheeks heated. The feeling of kissing him was one that I missed very greatly. Just the way he made me tremble with just a touch was proof my emotions regarding Ethan Nestor haven’t changed. Not even in the slightest. I reached my hands up into his hair instinctively, gripping his brown locks to bring him down deeper into me. His teeth came out to nip at my bottom lip causing me to let out a barely audible whine. Desire flooded through me like a wave and it was overwhelming how much I wanted him back so I could kiss him like this again. Over and over again until my lips were numb and swollen. 

A smack filled the air when we pulled away, our breathing was uneven and hot as it mixed due to the proximity of our faces. I was breathless and could barely form a word. Ethan moved away from me entirely and turned back to go inside. my heart sank and deep down I knew, that was a kiss goodbye. 

[jilytho]

Fake Laughs and French Fish

"You laughed in a restaurant but you have a really ugly laugh so I thought you were choking" au. The opposite of a meet cute bc James is an idiot. idk what this is but Happy Jilytober!

Read below or on AO3 or FFNT

It was James’s least favorite kind of restaurant. The kind of place where sure, the food is good, but the portion is barely big enough for a snack and the music was too soft and the tablecloths were too stiff and there were too many types of forks that he didn’t know which was meant for salad and which was for stabbing into his thigh. 

All places should have prices on the menu, smarmy little French places were not an exception. But Peter’s birthday had been last week and James had missed the party to deal with a work emergency so he owed him dinner at Peter’s choice of restaurant. And of course, Peter had to pick the most pretentious place in the city. 

Sirius and Remus were there as well, of course, they could hardly go anywhere without them. It was exactly the kind of place Sirius grew up in, and although he had gotten very comfortable with fast food since he was exiled by his family, he still seemed to fit in perfectly at this kind of place. 

As much as James loathed the whole joint, he grudgingly admitted it was worth the hefty bill to watch Peter’s whole face alight with joy as they sat down. His head was on a swivel, swooshing from side to side, tittering with excitement. 

Just as the young waiter brought their appetizers over, a mushroom risotto and salmon tartare, Remus was in the middle of thanking him and requesting more water when a large man at the table behind them snapping his fingers, head turned to look at the waiter. “Well, that’s just rude,” Remus murmured under his breath. James and the waiter both watched to see a large beefy man glaring over at them, beckoning the waiter with two fingers in a way that made James’s skin crawl. He was sitting with two women, James could see the whole table quite easily when looking past Remus’s right earlobe. The woman on Whale Man’s right looked like she was being choked out by her string of pearls, lips pursed, a nose slightly too sharp for her face, and what appeared to be a stick up her ass considering the daggers she was shooting between the other woman at the table and the waiter. His eyes found the second woman, the one being subjected to Miss. Bony Lady’s eye daggers and was shocked he hadn’t noticed her the second she sat down. That hair was not something that should ever go unnoticed by anyone. 

He couldn’t even see her face, as she was hiding it between her hands, and glaring down at the table, but he found himself craning his neck, trying to get a glimpse. There were waves of hostility trolling off of her and every element of her body language seemed to be screaming “DO NOT ENGAGE” . Her hair was forming a wall of fire, curtaining around her face, protecting her from the angry glares of her dinner mates. As the waiter walked over to their table, after nodding politely at Remus, he watched her emerge from her hands to grimace up at him apologetically.

He couldn’t hear what the whale man was saying, and subconsciously heard Peter start to tell some story about work and dish out portions of their appetizer, but he couldn’t pull his eyes back yet. The girl was flushed and glaring at the bony woman, saying something hushed but clearly angry. Her nose was scrunched up, nostrils flared and as angry as she looked he started to wonder if she’d giggle if he booped her nose, all scrunched up like that. Started cringing at himself for thinking about something as ridiculous as that. 

From his distance, he couldn’t make out the color of her eyes, just that they were bright and sparkling and even from ten feet away he could feel the passion and emotion coming off her. 

When the waiter had finally left, dismissed with an angry wave of Whale Man’s hand, he watched the red head roll her eyes, and twist her neck like cracking it would release the anger built up in her. He wondered how creepy she would find him if he offered to massage the shoulder for her, maybe there was some chiropractor-esque or glowstick pickup line he could use to impress her. Cheesy lines had never done him good in the past but she looked like she could use a laugh, maybe she’d think it was funn-

“Right, James?” James tore his eyes away from the girl to find all his friends staring at him, looking for his agreement on something James had not heard a single syllable of. 

“Erm, yeah, right. Of course,” he nodded strongly, reaching for his water to gulp down and give himself a chance to calm the flush slowly rising up his neck. 

Peter looked pointedly towards Remus, “See I told you, Lupin.”

As James busied himself with pushing risotto onto his spoon- the smallest spoon closest to him, was that meant for desert?- he carefully ignored Remus’s eyes on him, silently watching James and nodding to Peter. 

“Mhm, Pete. Looks like I was mistaken.” 

The rest of the course went by smoothly, James kept his eyes off of the Magical Mystery Woman as best he could, forcefully making himself enthusiastically engaged in Sirius’s discussion of the lineup of next week's game. He was in the middle of making an argument for why Johnson should start as center, not Malinsky when he got stopped mid sentence by Whale Man clearing his throat loud enough for half the bloody restaurant to hear and his entire argument went to shit. 

Honestly, who did this bloke think he is, the bloody Prime Minister? Mystery Woman was too perfect to be putting up with this. Why would she go out in public with this oaf? Was he her brother? She seemed perfect but having him as a brother-in-law would really put a damper on the future marital bliss. She was gripping her knife so tightly it had to hurt, maybe he should offer up his own hand to squeeze instead, that’d be less painful he was sure. No. No, that was weird. He shook himself again and wrenched his eyes back to Sirius and resumed his argument.

They were just getting ready to clear their plates and ask for the desert woman when it happened. Mystery Woman’s table was still on their main course, she had ordered the fish, exactly the same meal James had eaten. Was that a sign of compatibility or what? If anyone had asked him later he would have sworn he was paying full and complete attention to Remus’s story of Dale from accounting messing up again but he was somehow also subconsciously completely and totally aware of every single one of Mystery Woman’s movements because he just knew she had just placed a delicate bite of fish on her fork and was chewing lightly when she let out this hacking, squawking, horrific noise. 

Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god she is choking. My dream girl is choking and is going to choke on fish and DIE before I even learn her name. If she dies before I know her name I won’t even know what funeral to go to and how to mourn her properly and how would I even introduce myself at that funeral, ‘Hi, I stalked this girl from ten feet away and fell in love and will now live the rest of my life single and alone.”

If anyone were to have asked, he was positive he was still sitting at the table, nodding along with Remus. Somehow, without his conscious noticing, he had thrown back his chair and jumped to his feet, sending his chair falling backwards, narrowly missing a passing waitress. He practically leaped across the empty space, flown to behind her chair, gripped her shoulder tightly, and began to slam his hand against her back. 

“Ma’am, miss, oh my god are you alright? Can you breathe? Can you hear me, miss, oh my god WE NEED AN AMBULANCE, breathe ma’am breathe!” James yelled at her, pounding against her back, mentally preparing to perform the heimlich maneuver, he had never learned it properly but he saw it on a crime show once and it worked there maybe it would work now? He was really regretting not taking that First Aid class with Remus when she suddenly yanked herself out of his grip, leaping to her own feet and spinning around to face him, red hair flying into his mouth as she turned. 

Green. Her eyes were green. Green and bright and shining and gorgeous, oh my god she really can’t die now. 

“Oh my god, are you alright??” He reached out again to grip her shoulders tightly, had him slamming on her back dislodged the fish? Would she live? Was he a hero? 

“I will be when you explain why you just hit me repeatedly.” She crossed her arms over her chest, seemingly cross. 

His eyes widened and he looked around for someone else to agree and call him a life saving hero. Whale Man and Bony Lady looked bewildered, like he had just suddenly sprouted into a fish, instead of saving their dinner mates life.  All across the surrounding tables, he was met with concerned stares and the mortifying sinking feeling that he had completely misread the situation. 

“I- um. I saved you! You were choking! I saved you….. Right?” He dropped his hands from her shoulders, one immediately going to fix itself in his hair, face burning bright red. 

“I wasn’t choking, why did you think I was choking? Are you a doctor?”

He could hear Sirius laughing now. Oh god. Oh god. Oh god. “No, just erm- a concerned citizen? Trying to ah, do my civic duty, preventing fish related deaths, I- erm- I’m sorry I really thought you were choking you made like a hacking sound I thought you were dying, I really just wanted to help” he tugged on his hair, averting his eyes to the floor. Not only did he ruin his chance of getting Mystery Woman to fall in love with him but now he has basically assaulted her, dear God he is never going to live this down. 

“That was a laugh.”

His eyes shot up to meet hers, “A what?”

“A laugh. I was laughing.”

“That was not a laugh. That was a deadly sound. Nobody in the world has a laugh that horrible.”

“Hitting me AND insulting me now, wow this is really my lucky day.” 

James’s jaw dropped. He couldn’t even wrap his brain around the fact that he had just insulted her laugh just that this seemingly magnificent girl laughed like THAT. He couldn’t help the little chuckle that escaped him. 

“Thats your real laugh? Oh my god I’m so sorry.” 

“Sorry for insulting me or sorry that that's what my laugh sounds like?”

“Erm… both?” 

She giggled then as well, light and small, and very, very different from the choking sound he heard earlier. 

“See!” He pointed at her accusingly, “now that’s a laugh! That sound before was a dying bird and I won’t have you tell me otherwise.”

“Well,” her eyebrows lowered and she leaned in a little conspiratorially, whispering her next words, “the joke wasn’t actually very funny. I suppose my fake laugh may need a little more work before I attempt to use it so publicly again.” 

The two shared a grin and wow was he screwed. 

“You know,” he leaned in again, “I’ve been told all my laughs are top notch, fake and real, and if you were every interested in some tutoring, I suppose I could-”

“Ahem,” Whale Man cleared his throat again, “If you’re done disrupting our evening, I would very much like to return to my meal.” An apology on the tip of James’s tongue when he was cut off by Whale Man continuing to blabber, “Honestly, the heathens they allow to enter this establishment. Absolutely zero respect. Didn’t anyone ever teach you manners? Of course you attract this sort” The last words were directed to Mystery Woman and all the desire to apologize to Whale Man disappeared immediately. It wasn’t her fault he was an idiot who started hitting her. 

He was prepared to say just that, and apologize to Mystery Woman, when she cut him off herself.

“Now you listen here, Vernon-” Mystery Woman began, red anger creeping up her neck.

“Lily, honestly,” Bony Lady cut in, “Just sit down and let's finish our meal and go, you’ve made enough of a scene.” Bony Lady’s tone was low, but sharp and cutting and seemed to send a shiver down Mystery Woman’s - or was it Lily?- spine. 

He had a feeling she would have kept going, but also had a burning desire to run from Bone Lady’s eyes. It felt like they were piercing straight through him. 

“I’m sorry,” he started loudly, one hand back in his hair, eyes quickly finding those incredible green ones, “I’m truly sorry for interrupting your meal and um hitting you and insulting you. Truthfully, you’re just spectacularly gorgeous and I thought you were choking and kind of lost my head a bit, I suppose,” his eyes averted quickly at that admission, missing the way hers started to fill with mirth and eyebrows began to creep up. “I’ll leave you to your meal.” 

He turned on his heel and returned back to his table, picking his chair off the ground and sitting, adamantly avoiding eye contact with his friends. He felt her eyes burning into his neck and stared determinedly down at his fork. 

“So you’ve gone crazy,” Sirius states, matter of factly with a shit eating grin, “that’s fun.”

“I thought she was choking,” he murmured under his breath. 

“What was that, James? Couldn’t quite hear you. Speak up now or one of us will have to beat it out of you.” Peter could barely finish his sentence before him and Sirius began to guffaw obnoxiously.  Even Remus was chuckling. 

James groaned and covered his eyes with his hands. “Can we please just go, I will pay double if they bring the check right now.”

“Oh Jamie dear, why the rush?” Sirius tutted, “We ordered desert while you were busy saving lives! We wouldn’t dream of leaving before Pete gets his birthday desert!” 

Muttering “tossers” under his breath, James set his jaw and raised his eyes to meet his friends, and not to look past Remus’s ear to Mystery Woman again. 

By the time desert had arrived, James had been properly roasted by his mates about twelve times over and they had slowly moved onto other topics, all being other times James made a fool of himself in public. Sirius had just left for the restroom leaving Peter with the task of making James’s life hell.

Peter was just getting into the climax of his own personal favorite James humiliation tale, the Koi Pond Incident of ‘09, when James’s bite of tiramisu was interrupted by a light slapping against his back. 

He spluttered and coughed grossly, ready to whip around and smack Sirius, assuming it was him, when he felt hot breath on his ear and a flash of red in his peripheral and completely froze.

“You alright there? Wouldn’t want you to choke. Just being a concerned citizen and all.” She murmured into his ear, teeth centimeters away from nipping it.

He turned to face her, gaping at her sudden closeness to find her smirking face mere inches away from his own. 

“Thanks for that,” he croaked. 

“Of course, always on the lookout. Doing my civic duty,” she winked. She winked. What the hell did that mean, oh my god, this woman would be the death of him. 

“Here,” she pressed a slip of paper into his hand. “Just in case you want to stop me from choking at dinner another night too.” And then she winked again, spun on her heel, red hair whipping him in the face and left with another tinkling laugh. James stared dumbly down at the numbers on the paper, memorizing them immediately.

“Holy fuck, James. What was that?” Pete stared at James’s dumbfounded face. Sirius chuckled lightly from behind him, apparently having returned in time to watch the entire exchange. 

“That, my friend,” Sirius clapped a hand down harshly onto James’s shoulder, “may have just been the future Mrs. Potter.”

[mork-lee-bee]

Broken lovers 1

Summary: Y/n is a hopeless romantic in love with someone who will never love her back and Jaehyun is helplessly in love with someone who only continues to hurt him over and over again, sounds like a match made in heaven right?

Pairings: CollegeStudent!Jaehyun X CollegeStudent!Y/N X CollegeStudent!Jaemin

Warnings: Cursing, suggestive (possible future smut idk),Cheating, Toxic relationship(s) this chapter gets veryyyy suggestive at the end lol but it doesn’t actually contain smut

Genre: Fluff and Angst mainly

Word count: 3.2k

The room was dark, it was almost 7 pm and the gloomy feeling was hard to ignore the stench even harder. No one was sleeping but scrolling through his phone Jaehyun was going through a wave of different emotions in the darkness of his unshared room.

“Jaehyun,” the voice on the other end of the door speaks, the others had tried to ignore his self-isolation attempts but they had to draw the line somewhere and that happened to be tonight. With no answer to his name, the person attempted to open the door only to find it locked and a groan to follow.

“Jae, open the door you’ve been in there for a week,” The voice is slightly annoying and so Jaehyun lets out a low inaudible mumble but doesn’t budge from his bed he just fips over like a pancake. 

“Is he still not out?” a second voice can be heard much quieter than the first. 

“No, he’s still sulking,” after that there’s just silence. Jaehyun just assumes that they’ve left him be, but then the voices speak again.

“Jaehyun locking yourself in your room and scrolling through old pictures on your phone isn’t healthy,” in a sense Jaehyun knew they were right but he couldn’t stop himself from doing it as he finally throws the covers off and walks over to the door opening it.

“Shut up,” He grumbled in the doorway, the faces of Johnny and Yuta looking back at him.

“Look this is the third time that she’s done this to you, you need to stop going back to her and treating her like some sort of goddess,” Yuta bluntly states to the heartbroken boy in front of him.

“I think what Yuta is trying to say, is that there’s better fish in the sea and Heejin-” Johnny knew he messed up saying her name and stopped himself.

“And what Johnny is saying is that you need to get out of your room, which is why we’re throwing a party tonight,” Yuta says as if it's a statement not really giving Jaehyun a choice.

“I’m not going,” Jaehyun retreats back into his room leaving the door open as the two make their way in, the room is an utter mess that can be seen as soon as they switch the light on but what hit them first was that horrible smell of old food.

“Jae… at least clean your room, there’s a pile of dirty dishes on your desk and it smells rancid,” Johnny points out but Jaehyun keeps his back turned away from them not acknowledging their presence in his room just going back on his phone.

“Jaehyun. You need to stop feeling sorry for yourself.” Yuta snatches the phone out of Jaehyun’s hands to see the last picture Jaehyun had taken with Heejin on the screen. Jaehyun immediately grabs it from him, anger runs through his veins, a glare on his face.

“Delete them,” Yuta crosses his arms, eyebrows knit together, the both of them can be so stubborn.

“I can’t… she’ll come back like she always does…” Jaehyun tries to say confidently but he has doubts which ring clear in his voice.

“And what will you do if she just doesn’t? What if she never comes back? What will you do?” Yuta pressures Jaehyun who throws his hands in the air.

“SHE WILL,” Jaehyun snaps out of anger as Johnny steps between the two who are clearly on the verge of fighting each other.

“And if she does you should turn her away, she’s done nothing but hurt you, Jae,” Yuta lets out a defeated sigh before leaving the room. Jaehyun goes back to sitting on his bed unsure of when he even stood up in the heat of the moment. He holds his head in his hands looking at the ground.

“Please come out of your room tonight, at least take your mind off things, it’s not good to do this to yourself, and for god’s sake take a shower,” Johnny comments what he feels he must in the most neutral way he knows before leaving Jaehyun alone once again.

-----

“____~” Your roommate Miyoung walks into your shared dorm smiling like an idiot with a happy bounce in her step that makes you feel suspicious towards her intentions right away, she usually comes back from class looking miserable as you raise an eyebrow at her looking from your computer up at her.

“Why are you so happy?” You don’t waste time trying to bounce around the source of her good mood instead you were very blunt with her knowing she’d try to tiptoe around what she wants if you didn’t ask. 

“Well, I decided we’re gonna go out tonight!” She wraps her arms around you from where you’re sat at your desk in a hug as if to beg you to join her.

“No.” You shrug her off not hesitating, leaving the girl to pout as you finish the sentence you’re on before you can lose your train of thought.

“But _____,” She whines plopping down on her bed sadly giving you the biggest puppy dog eyes.

“The last time you dragged me out to a frat party if you remember, I was sat on the side the entire time while you got to happily party.” You type away on your computer trying to focus on the paper you’re writing the sound of the keys being pressed is somehow louder than usual.

“It’s not my fault! I tried to get you to join me, You’re completely single I don’t understand why you don’t put yourself out there and puh-lease don’t use your crush as an excuse,” Your friend could call your bullshit better than anyone you know past and present, even your parents. She was too good, especially at reasoning. 

“I know…” You mumble to yourself as you stop typing your mind unable to focus on too many things so you turn to look at her. 

“And what else are you gonna do tonight anyway? Scroll through Instagram living vicariously through people when you can actually be out there having those experiences? Watching YouTube videos while snacking? Pretending to write an essay that you’ll only end up procrastinating like everyone else?” The thing is that she was right. You always talked the talk about wanting to experience life but when an opportunity came up you never took it. So you shut your laptop and looked at her with defeat she was so persuasive which was good for her, not so much for you. 

“Fine! I’ll go out!” You cave-in throwing your hands in the air out of defeat and she’s back to her upbeat mood bouncing out of the bed quickly to get to her closet to find anything to wear. You, on the other hand, didn’t budge staying in your seat. You didn’t want to change out of your normal study outfit which consisted of a pair of shorts and a hoodie.

“______!” Your friend shouts, throwing a dress in your direction which lands on your head blocking your vision.

“HEY!” You shout pulling the dress off your face and sending glares her way.

“You need to get ready!” She argues as you take a glance at the time.

“It’s only 7, and I don’t take as long as you do to get ready, so let me work on this paper for an hour and then I’ll get ready,” You reason and she lets out a long sigh followed by a drawn-out fine not wanting to push her luck.

--------

“Seeeeeee isn’t that better?” Johnny asks when he enters Jaehyun’s room, the plates have been cleared out, there are new clean sheets on the bed and Jaehyun cleaned himself up even, freshly shaved and everything. Well on the outside he looked fine, his mind in actuality is a mess. Jaehyun just shrugs, not very interested as he shakes his damp hair. Getting Jaehyun to leave the dorm would be a task in itself but if there's one thing Johnny is, it's determined.

“Look, Jae, if you come out tonight I’ll stop bothering you about everything but please you really need to leave your room and have some fun, you can sit around sulking for all I care just leave the room,” Johnny pleads hoping to convince his friend to leave.

“If I hate it I’m retreating.” Is all Jaehyun says not even looking up from his phone but Johnny is clearly silently rejoicing. 

“Okay, yeah,” Johnny calmly nods before going to exit Jaehyun’s room, closing the door behind him.

“HE SAID HE’LL GO!” Johnny yells out to Yuta and whoever else is listening after leaving Jae’s room causing a smile to appear on Jae's face and his dimples to become visible until he looks down at his phone and his lock screen changes his mood completely, the small smile completely gone.

“I’m fucked,” He sighs before throwing the phone onto the bed thinking for a moment, silence until Yuta appears in the doorway almost like magic.

“Get up you simp, we’re starting,” Yuta walks over spotting his phone before turning the screen on.

“You won’t get laid if your lock screen is still that picture,” Yuta tries to reason but it’s too hard to change it so Jaehyun just grabs the phone slipping it into his pocket.

“I just won’t show it to anyone,” Jaehyun brushes Yuta off walking past him and out of the room, he wasn’t the same wild Jaehyun they had met back in freshman year when he would be having fun and not having any cares, they missed that Jaehyun, but he seemed impossibly gone.

As soon as people start coming Jae grabs a few bottles of Soju and finds a spot where he won’t be bothered.

------

Frat parties weren’t your favorite it’s true but they weren’t the worst it depends on who you’re with, so when you got into the cramped room past the entryway, clearly, they wanted the maximum amount of people they could fit in as you try to stay to the wall of the place, you’re holding Miyoung’s hand tightly so the two of you aren’t separated but Miyoung could clearly care less as she only lightly holds yours and complains.

“____, are you trying to break my hand?” She shouts above the bass booming off the wall. You realize you’re holding her hand in a death grip and let off a bit of the pressure as soon as you both reach the drinks, beer, beer, and more beer.

“Can we just relax?” You ask your friend who lets out a laugh before signaling over one of the frat boys she had been with a few times you can’t quite remember his name but he’s a sweetheart, she knew where to get the real stuff, clearly wasting no time at all to get started, she looks at you before shouting again.

“MAKE IT TWO! Look we came to have some fun, you can stay here for a bit but once you’re sufficiently sad I’m dragging you out to dance,” you nod reluctantly agreeing to her as you usually did.

“Love you,” She blows you an air kiss before she downs her drink, Soju, in record speed as soon as the drinks are down in front of her while you take a bit longer, mid drink though she’s already run off leaving you alone as she drags the drink guy away to dance with the other sweaty bodies. You weren’t in any rush to join her as you look around

“Can I sit here?” You ask timidly as you finish off your own drink and point to the seat next to the stranger after finding a less crowded spot in the room.

“Sure,” He doesn’t really acknowledge you or your presence. You hesitate to talk but you remember Miyoung in her higher than necessary but cute voice telling you to ‘live a little’.

“What’s your name?” You lean over downing the rest of your second drink for a bit of liquid courage to maybe to kick in.

“Jung Yoonoh, but everyone just calls me Jaehyun,” The boy who couldn’t be older than 23 sitting next to you mumbles barely audible over the loud music blasting. He seemed uninterested as he grips his drink almost angrily. 

“Jaehyun, I like that,” you smile thinking out loud without a filter, although you’ve maybe had two drinks you still didn’t have much of a filter anyway.

“Why are you so agitated?” You tilt your head to the side slightly as if a curious puppy saw something that interested them.

“I’m not.” He finally meets your eyes but you just roll yours before leaning back in your seat slightly, definitely more relaxed.

“Then tell me Yoonoh, why are you gripping your drink like you hate it? And why are you speaking like I’m the most annoyin-” he cuts you off by attaching his lips to yours. It’s not a light kiss, it’s full of anger and annoyance unsure of if it’s because you or someone else that’s caused his anger but you return the heated kiss before he pulls away leaving you slightly breathless, your lips feel every moment.

“I didn’t leave my place to be psychoanalyzed but some stranger,” Jaehyun picks up his drink before emptying it into his mouth trying to take the edge off as you touch your lips the sting lingering.

“And I didn’t leave my dorm to talk to some asshole,” You roll your eyes finally out of your short daze dropping your fingers from your lips and taking another drink which had, clearly he had friends in the frat since he had some Soju and not a warm beer like most of the other part goers.

“You’re the one who approached me.” He says under his breath clearly wanting you to leave but you simply pout leaning against the arm of the chair trying to get a better look at him in the dimly lit room, your vision slightly distorted but you could still see him, a handsome man, definitely not your usual type, he was much tougher which you admit is attractive but you always were interested in people with a softer appearance.

“This place is packed I saw an open seat-” you try to explain but he mimics your movement resting his arm against the chair leaning forward so that your faces are once again only inches apart but you don’t really register this completely.

“You didn’t have to force yourself to make small talk,” he smirks his eyes looking over your face, you’re actually very attractive and clearly confident in the next words you say.

“I wanted to talk to you, you’re cute,” You laugh before booping his nose with your finger, he’s surprised at first but eventually does laugh with you as your eyes widen in surprise not only at his laugh but his incredibly cute dimples that you had a slight urge to just kiss but held back.

“You smiled! That’s a win for me!” You tease sticking your tongue out at him as you down another sip of your drink unsure of if it’s number three or four, Jaehyun joins you in drinking as well.

“Why are you here?” His demeanor is definitely more relaxed now that he’s had a few drinks and clearly you were very distracting for what was on his mind.

“My friend dragged me out for a good time,” You laugh watching Miyoung having a great time up against a different guy this time but you didn’t really worry a ton she could definitely hold her own and she was only on her first drink, she wasn’t exactly a lightweight.

“What about you hmm, angry boy?” You’re leaning towards him again, the drinks were starting to hit you more at this point but you didn’t care.

“To forget,” He says without thinking as you raise an eyebrow in confusion.

“Forget what?” You question bringing your hands up to your face to feel the heat radiating off your cheeks from the alcohol.

“The paper I have due tomorrow,” Jaehyun lies as he makes sure his phone is facing downwards realizing he really should have taken Yuta’s advice.

“Oop, me too!” You don’t take note of Jaehyun’s movements trying to focus on his face, your eyes are dilated.

“What’s your major?” He raises an eyebrow trying to guess, maybe you’re a bio major or some type of business major but he doesn’t expect what you say.

“Korean Sign Language,” You smile before taking another sip.

“I bet you’re great with your hands then,” Jaehyun smirks as you almost choke before giving him a sly smile.

“I should show you sometime,” You wink placing your drink on the ground next to you.

“Why wait?” Jaehyun asks shaking his hair that falls in front of his face.

“You’re eager aren’t cha?” you ask before a small squeal that only he can really hear leaves your lips when he pulls you to sit on his lap so that you’re straddling him, not that you’re complaining. He wasn’t gentle at all, he definitely didn’t mind manhandling anyone, which makes your heart hammer out of your chest.

“Just a little bit,” Jaehyun smirks before he attacks your neck with his lips, you almost start laughing immediately, your neck is extremely ticklish unknown to him. You bite your lip to suppress the laughter, but as soon as he lips brush over a particularly sensitive part you let out a giggle. Jaehyun pulls away slightly to look at you confusion on his face.

“Not the reaction I was expecting,” He tilts his head slightly and your face heats up further out of embarrassment.

“My neck is ticklish,” You speak softly looking away from his face but he moves your face to meet his as he looks directly into your eyes. Something about his eyes is different the emotion behind them is almost sad.

“Good,” Jaehyun’s lips are on yours again for the second time that night and you get a better feel of his lips that taste almost like bubble gum, your hands go straight to his hair as he deepens the kiss between the two of you, your both frightening for dominance until you hear something.

“AYEEEEE ____, Get it!” Miyoung’s voice makes you falter smiling into the kiss giving Jaehyun the opportunity to slip his tongue into your mouth, your whole body is on fire at this point. His hands that were previously resting on your waist move lower and you pull away from him scanning around the room, there were still a ton of people around.

“We’re in public,” You point out and he smirks leaning close to your ear his breath on your neck makes you laugh lightly.

“Should we go upstairs then?” and then you put two and two together, he was clearly a frat boy you should have known from the Soju bottles which just made things more convenient.

“And do what?” You tease before Jaehyun stands up, your legs wrapped around his torso as he heads towards the stairs, you could hear Miyoung yelling ‘WRAP IT BEFORE YOU TAP IT!’ after the two of you.

The next thing you know he’s flinging you onto his bed and him pinning you down going back to continue his advances without protest.

Chapter two being released on: 6/13 <3

Masterlist

[justlookatthosesausages]

Idk if you're still doing the AU headcanon thing but hmmm OUAT Elsamaren AU where Elsa goes back to storybrooke for reasons and honeymaren follows because the fifth spirit can't stay out of trouble for so long and it's basically showing them finding out about how they are each other's romantic true love but they are so F*CKING DENSE they need their friends to help them figure it out... Henry, Emma, Ruby(who FINALLY meets Elsa and LOVES HER) and Charming are loving every moment of it because they get get to do shenanigans

Of course I'm still doing it! In fact, I love this Frozen AU 5 headcanons trend so much, I'm gonna make it permanent! Come to my askbox anytime! ✨

Not only Ruby LOVES Elsa because of a bisexual crush and because they have a lot in common with their unwanted powers, but she lives in the WOODS? Of course she gives her a lot of advice (though she can't help wincing saying she prefers modern-day technology because of automatic coffee) | Bonus: she totally gives Honeymaren the talk, then softens and nerds about hunt with her

Elsa and Emma are often seen talking for AGES also because of their unwanted powers/destiny and all the drama and how they dealt with it and how they eventually play with it. David swore one day they met in the street while he was running for errands with Emma, and they started talking and kept going so he left and when he came back to pick her up it was NIGHT and they were still passionately talking about how love helped - and of course they have a ton of stuff to catch up on too because now Elsa knows why she has her magic and Emma is so happy to see she's happy and ajdjshskfnfjf

Oh and for drama reasons, Elsa and Honeymaren aren't a real couple yet, they're still too clueless idiots who love to spend time together because they get along on a lot of stuff, and literally ALL of Storybrooke is like 👀 HAROLD. People are hilariously giving them signs, like, Granny handed them heart-like waffles, the ice cream parlor offered them a special one once that clearly is to be eaten as a couple, the Charmings organize a "couples night", etc. They're still not admitting it, though they blush like hell.

Henry introduces Honeymaren to motorbikes and she becomes CRAZY about it - Elsa smiles tenderly at her excitement but has a headache all afternoon because Nokk keeps growling in jealousy in her mind ("Don't you DARE, this loud and polluting ride is not FIT for you worthy Spirit")

Anna is incredibly jealous to hear that they've gone to Storybrooke without telling her because she's been desperate to look for a magic bean to do so and "What do you mean there's a natural passage in Ahtohallan that links to that world??? They got to see the magic carriages again AND I DON'T???They better bring back one of those non-perishable snacks or I'll personally kill them" | Kristoff: "You know, it actually makes sense, given that our Enchanted Forest and their Enchanted Forest probably are... The same thing." | Anna, groaning desperately: "Please don't make it worse."

loooool

Send me a Frozen AU idea and I'll make a list of 5 headcanons I have about it! If it inspires me, I might even write a drabble about it.

[stray-tori]

TPN S02E04 - Initial Thoughts (anime-only)

viewing + post-ep talk with my friends: Google Drive (sorry, youtube denied me again)

(i) Translations are in the English (USA) CC (including the english bits as well for those who struggle with the audio/language, etc.)

pls validate my efforts and watch it.

there’s some anime-only talk about the adaptation towards the end, I wasn’t trying to be arrogant, just mention it to my friends based on some things I’d heard and without spoiling them about what is different that I do know of specifically. But if you want to avoid that, feel free to!

I definitely said it a bit too in favor of the anime, and obviously my friends’ just got my simplified thoughts on it? Like when they said it makes sense for the anime to move on quicker, but that’s not really what’s different. 

So yeah, please forgive the dubious things in that segment, I really just didn’t think about my words a lot.

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. Random thoughts

The fish bug scenes were delightful TvT Also the animation during them trying to grab them???

The OST during Isabella’s scenes???? take me

I think we also heard the OST sneak peak from a while ago during the cave confrontation with the army force human

Don is a useless nightwatch, goddamn it Don

Don is an epic chairman.

Loved the shot of Ray shooting at the big demon (why didn’t Emma get a cool shot? :THONK:), very dynamic, very epic.

Also them running together to push the man off the cliff was... something haha.

I’m losing my mind that we’re actually just ending on the way ep1 started. Same animation loops too, eh. to be expected, and obviously adjusted for different clothing and items but. still as someone who wants to praise for not re-using animation, rip.

EMMA HAVING SLEEPING CHILDREN AROUND HER AWWWW

Eyy Ray took a bath with the others too, yay

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. The bunker

So, the twist was that there was really.... no twist at all. Minerva was a good guy, he tried his best, he got discovered and chased.

And yet, I don’t think the bunker was previously discovered by the farms, which would at least warrant a “scare” like that, effectively making it a trap. They may have been aware of a shelter’s existence, but I don’t think they’ve been there before.

You could probably assume that the Troup that attacked our characters may have also removed the previous escapees from the scene --- but if that was the case, why leave all of the letters and other things in place. Not getting there immediately is understandable, they seem to arrived by foot (what? do you plan to keep an eye on the children the whole like 5 day march back or however long it took?? dang). So that’s not it.

So: what caused the HELPs? the person writing in the book seems to have been abandoned or more likely, are the only survivor of their group (maybe the only person in the group at all). Now it’d be an option for them to have found this safe haven and decided to just spend their days there, slowly losing their minds and doing the things on the wall. But then the message in the book, on the other hand, seems traumatized and sad, but not as lost as the carvings on the wall.

So either, they calmed down after going crazy and then once they did, they decided to leave.

Or it’s from two different people (or multiple), the one after the “HELP” one probably leaving the uplifting message in the book nearby of the scribbles.

I’m not sure which I’d find more likely, but all in all, I’m not sure why they didn’t just have the demons already know of the place and just have the letter (they probably wouldn’t have searched everything in the place) not be as obviously placed and then boom, they could still have made all discoveries they needed and when they found the help wall, it would have been from children trapped in the room while the men searched the bunker, wanting help.

* Clearly that’s not what they were going for, since there’s also day-counting things, but even that you could have explained by saying, they missed a child and the other escapees convinced them that they died, somehow and so they were left behind, traumatized by their friends being taken back and giving up for a while. It still runs into the same “but how can it be the same person?” doubt that my friend brought up, but I think that it’d justify the shock value of the wall more. Still not really making the whole “HELP” thing add up though, since that just sounds like there’s an immediate threat, when there isn’t. The only other thing I can think of is that the entire wall wasn’t one instance, so the counting could be solitude, the HELPs acute danger and the names probably also solitude. The drawing on the right also makes me think it was probably a child as well, fairly young. Poor kid.

Unless there’s something more to it I feel like it makes a little more sense, but still not a lot (WHY’D YOU LEAVE YOUR SNACKS, BRO) but seeing as we’ve left, I don’t think we’ll get to know.

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I’m assuming the way the farm knew now is either a) they were aware but didn’t see any reason to go there unless there were children there, b) they saw the coordinate carvings (thanks Ray) or c) the pursuers contacted the farms (which would make sense, and again, thanks Ray).

.

.. the farm has a military force???

I also find it kind of funny that the farms have a military force??? Because so far, we’ve never seen them use guns to do anything. Which makes me think they might not be farm-intern but from an outside force, maybe the humans who are more “on-level” with them?

Like, what do they do all day. They’re probably not part of the buff demon guards and.... idk man haha-

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. Isabella

Ahh I was happy to see her! I was even happier to be like “hah, prison. Knew it.” and then later reacting to the offer, even though that wasn’t exactly what I called, but damn. the pride. my fucking expression too lol, i couldn’t hide it at all pff.

Her jump in motivation is a little weird, but I do see it as, someone who has basically accepted their fate, and when that gets challenged, the will to live takes over. 

I’m also not quite sure how she’s supposed to capture them if she can’t leave?

And then of course there’s whatever they promised her aside from “freedom” (which, if that just means being let outside, good luck ma’am there’s demons everywhere) - or is the transportation to the human world included? :D

Based on her clothing in the OP, I might have guessed it’d be “become a grandma” but that doesn’t really go well with the promise of freedom so.... I don’t know where that entire thing is going pff-

We don’t know a lot about what drives Isabella but one of the few things we do know is a) will to live and b) Leslie (????), hence the lullaby in “stressful” situations.

She already got the will to live with the baseline deal, so the only thing I can think of that would make her react more than freedom would be that Leslie’s alive and she can see him if she helps.

I’m not sure if she’s interested in anything else, like how the world works or what she can do for anyone, like.... hm. Of course it could totally be something that we just don’t know yet but yeah I guess that’s my guess.

They probably won’t give up Ray and seeing as she’s more concerned about his brain than anything, I don’t think even if they did allow her to take him with her, it probably wouldn’t mean a lot to her. Plus, why lose another high quality cattle.

I guess it could be, she did seem she wanted to be a proper mother figure, but idk something tells me it’s probably not something like that.

It would also be more “???” than “OHHH” of an reveal. Then again, Leslie is also an obvious choice so.

Maybe it’s something entirely new, we’ll see :D

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. The possibily wrong date

So when Anna writes a journal thingy, we see this

And, well, their escape happened in January 2046, so... for that to be true, somewhere along the line, an entire year would have had to pass.

I’m assume this is a production error because

they didn’t get to harvest once

they wouldn’t wait a year to talk about the plan to go back

Ray wouldn’t need an ear patch for so long, he only has a cut

the montage only showed 22nd and 23rd, if an entire year had passed, we’d have been shown more varied dates, etc.

then it makes even less sense for why the army shows up one year later out of nowhere :D

...

Smh, CloverWorks, what can you even do right.

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Yee, thanks for reading!