#if I see a long post somewhere I am so quick to stop and read it because I know that shits gonna be good

[steddieas-shegoes]

in the nicest way possible, i’m begging you to use “read more”s for your longer, writing posts. i adore your writing and would love to reblog it (and also to continue to see it on my dash!) but tbh i’ve considered unfollowing and even blocking you simply because your posts are SO long and not put under a read more

Hi! Thank you!

I do usually put one when I’m posting from my computer, but I have no clue how to do so on the app which is how I post a lot of my stuff. If you know how to, please let me know! I just know they show up with a “view post” on my dash, which to me, feels like the same thing, though I do all of my scrolling on the app, too, and things are probably way different here in this particular hell.

I will certainly try to remember to do so in the future, and will try to go back through some of the longer ones to add one.

That being said, I totally get unfollowing or blocking to make your experience better. I’m sorry if that means not being here anymore, and I hope that doesn’t happen, but sometimes that’s just how it is.

[michibap]

cool for the summer ch.2

omg tysm for all of the love on chapter 1, u guys r the coolest

7k words

warnings: sexual implications, drugs + alcohol

(also want to give everyone a heads up that i won't be posting as often, i'm moving back to school soon 🤠)

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-ted wakes up to the distant sound of crashing waves and muffled chatter from elsewhere in the house

-sighing as he rolls over to look the alarm clock on the bedside table, neon letters reading 8:47 am 

-instinctively, he reaches out beside him to shake you awake, knowing that you’d sleep the entire day away if he let you

-he frowns when his arm flops onto an empty mattress

-turning his head and finding nothing but tangled blankets beside him rather than the familiar outline of you

-he sucks in a sharp, panicked breath when he realizes you’re missing, frantically looking around the unfamiliar room for where you could have disappeared to

-it’s the shrill cry of a seagull right outside of his window that jolts him back into the land of the living

- reminding him of where he is and where you should be

-he squints as he looks outside, the sky still painfully bright despite the overcast

-past the grassy dunes that stood between the house and the beach, he could see that the tide was still low, revealing a large, flat plane of sand littered with shells and rocks and other goodies that he would have to scavenge for with you

-speaking of you…

-he slightly leans over so that he can peak through the connecting door

-smiling to himself when he sees where you’ve cocooned yourself in the duvet, still in the exact spot that you’d crawled into the night before

-waking up with a blanket on should have been the first sign that the two of you weren’t sharing a bed

-despite your otherwise pleasant bed sharing etiquette, you’ve been a d1 blanket hog since the day you popped out

-often leaving ted to fend for himself when he’d wake up in the middle of the night shivering, desperately trying to tug some blanket for himself out of your stupidly strong grip

-it usually ended with him huffing and giving up, groggily glaring at your sleeping form

-usually he’d make some sad attempt to cover himself, pathetically curling up under a couple of pillows or a beach towel if he’s really desperate 

-but there were some nights where he was simply unable to fall asleep, his shivering keeping him awake

-and in his desperation, he’d say fuck it.

-if you can’t beat em, join em

- he’d find a loose corner where he could slip into your cocoon with you, leeching off some of the heat you’d been monopolizing

-it  usually didn’t last long, though

-he’d end up getting too hot after a few minutes of being squished up against you and drag himself out of your impromptu nest

-but somewhere out there, there’s footage that captured the BOTH of you lacking

-it’s nothing too incriminating

-only shaky footage of one of your mutual friends bursting into the room the two of you had been sharing, followed by a quick glimpse of you comfortably tucked to ted’s chest before you’re practically thrown off of him as he’s sitting up to grab the chastity pillow off of the floor and hurl it at the intruder

-with a dramatic sigh, he drags himself out of bed and pads over to the bathroom to brush his teeth

-standing in your doorway for a moment, he considers waking you up

-but decides against it, gently closing your door so he doesn’t disturb you 

-saving himself the trouble of being there during your lengthy reacclimation process (this is a very nice way of saying that you are NOT a pleasant morning person)

-ya, that sounds like a schlatt problem

-after getting himself ready, ted heads downstairs and seeks out the chatter he had heard from elsewhere in the house, finding the few psychos who had woken up early on purpose

-he decides to join them on their grocery run to stock up the house for duration of the stay

-but only on the condition that they stop for coffee

-during the ride there he’s not paying much attention to the ongoing conversation in the car, still a little bleary himself

-but he gathers enough to know that the plan for today was to hang at the house and enjoy the beach, none of which he had any opposition to

-he enjoys wandering through the cute little mom and pop market they had found, grabbing the items he had been asked to along with a few snacks he’d thought you would be intrigued by

-they end up grabbing coffee at the small shop next door, and ted considers grabbing one for you as well but decides against it, unsure of when you’ll wake up

-early bird gets the worm, nerd.

-but you actually would have shot him in the knee if you found out that they had raspberry white chocolate muffins and he didn’t buy one for you

-his hands were tied, seriously. 

-the caffeine breathed life back into him, his usual chattiness coming back to him on the ride back to the house

-enjoying watching as the world became clearer through the car window, the overcast breaking up into fluffy clouds that lazily drifted across the brilliantly blue sky

-once they made it back, they recruited the few others who had crawled out of bed since they’d left to come out and help bring groceries in

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-he’d heard schlatt before he saw him

-the low rumble of some stupidly expensive rental sports vehicle could be heard by anyone within a mile radius 

-ted rolled his eyes when he heard it, but still got up from where he’d been melting into the couch to go stand on the porch

-crossing his arms over his chest and raising a brow, but unable to bite back his grin as he watched a sleek vehicle pull into the driveway and park next to the tacoma (who admittedly, looked a little clunky in comparison)

-he watches as schlatt struggles to climb out of the low vehicle, legs unfolding out first, followed by the rest of him

-ted doesn’t bother hiding his laugh as he watches him stretch, groaning obnoxiously, shirt riding up and inch as he moved to pop his back

“I’m surprised you even fit in that thing.”

“Fuck off. ‘Least my ride isn’t rotting out under me.” Schlatt grumbled, moving to petulantly kick one of the tacoma’s tires

-ted gasps, “She can hear you.”

-he’s leveled with an unentertained look, 

“You gonna help me bring this shit in, or you just gonna keep sittin’ there and looking pretty?”

“If you meant pretty as an insult it didn’t work.”

-he still makes his way over to the car, letting out a bewildered laugh when he’s pulled into a tight hug and given a few hardy pats on the back, 

“Oh wow, okay. This is interesting”

-both of them freeze after ted hears him take in a particularly deep inhale through his nose

“... Did you just sniff me?”

“Hell yeah I did, brother.”

“UNHAND ME!”

-after a brief scuffle, schlatt opens the trunk and points out which bags he wants ted to carry

-ted pauses after watching schlatt pull only one of his bags out himself

“Hold up, why am I carrying more of your shit than you are?”

“‘Cuz.”

-before he can protest any further, their joint attention is turned to the front door when they hear the thud of it closing

-they both turn and find you standing in front of it, looking like you’d just rolled out of bed

-hair a rat’s nest, one of your socks pulled higher than the other, swamped in a faded graphic tee and a pair of flannel shorts, one of your hands scrubbing at your squinting eyes, adjusting to the daylight

-you raise one hand, which had been hanging limply at your side, to reach out towards them but make no actual effort to come any closer 

-ted bites back a grin and glances over to schlatt, who hadn’t bothered suppressing his toothy smile at the sight of you

-ted quickly comes to understand why he’s holding two bags while schlatt only has one

-shaking his head and laughing to himself as schlatt wordlessly walks up to you and ducks low, one hand coming to grab the back of your thigh as he moves to carry you over one of his shoulders

-ted kind of expects you to put up some sort of fight, brows raising when instead of squirming out of schlatt’s grasp, you’re content to dangle there as he makes his way into the house

-he follows schlatt into the kitchen, where he stops to greet the others

-pausing for a casual chat like ted isn’t lugging two of his bags in and you’re not over his shoulder, shorts having ridden up precariously high on your ass with how you’d been thoughtlessly manhandled 

-but he bites his tongue and very gracefully allows his friend a few moments to chat 

-however, once his arms begin to ache ted intervenes, pleading to go upstairs and put the bags down

-as the three of you make your way out of the kitchen, one of your friends makes a point of teasingly wishing you a good morning

-the occupants of the kitchen had watched you wordlessly stumble down the spiral stairs and shuffle towards the front door a few minutes earlier, still zombie-like after having just rolled out of bed

-it seems like you’re still struggling to kick into gear, as your only response is nothing more than lifting your head with a lazy, catlike grin curled across your lips and a small wave

-you start making more of a fuss once schlatt tries to make his way up the spiral staircase with you still over his shoulder, trying to wriggle out of his grasp and get back onto your own feet

-ted’s head snaps up at the sound of a thud, followed by schlatt cackling and a weak groan from you

“See? That’s what you get for squirmin’.”

“You’ve been here for less than ten minutes and she’s already mildly concussed.” ted scolds

“That was her fault!”

-there’s another thud, this time you ball up a fist and punch his back, 

“Okay, that one was my bad.”

-once the three of you make it to your room, schlatt makes quick work of dropping his bag with a thud and tossing you on the bed

-where you land with a bounce before he’s wrapping a large hand around your ankle and dragging you closer to where he stands at the foot of it

-ted glances up after placing schlatt’s bags politely by the wall, faltering a bit when he sees both of you looking at him expectantly, 

“Huh?”

-schlatt only raises an entertained brow, 

“She says you have a surprise for me?”

-his brows pinch together and helplessly looks to you, lips forming an ‘o’ when he sees you grin excitedly and nod at the connecting door

-his lips curl into a smile that matches your own and he eagerly nods, slowly walking towards the door for dramatic effect

-pretending that the feeling of two sets of eyes closely tracking him doesn’t make him want to squirm a bit

-he turns to face both of you for a moment, letting the anticipation build for just a second more before dramatically flinging the door open, 

“CONNECTING DOOR, FUCKER!”

“YOOOOO”

-after the hype dies down, ted is left standing the doorway, awkwardly looking at where schlatt looms over you at the foot of the bed

“Alright, you’ve got three seconds to get out of here or shit’s gonna get weird.”

“Right, right. I’m outie, I’ll see you kids downstairs.”

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-ted heads downstairs first, allowing you and schlatt a moment to settle

-you descend only a few minutes later, looking significantly more chipper and donning a baggy shirt and a pair of basketball shorts as an impromptu cover-up

-schlatt’s lumbering not too far behind you, following you into the kitchen where the rest of the gang was waiting to head down to the beach

-you sheepishly apologize for the hold-up

-but before you get too far you’re being interrupted by ted, who is peer pressuring you into taking a shot

“Not the red white and berry…” you pretend to wretch, ted doing the same before laughing maniacally, filling the disposable shot glass to the very top and gently pushing it wards you, careful to minimize any spillage

-both of you shout indignantly when schlatt snags it off the table and shoots it back before you get the chance to

“That was fucked.” Charlie laughs from his spot on the kitchen counter, “Somebody get this woman a shot stat.”

“I’d like to remind everyone that it’s barely 1pm.”

“Shut up Tucker.”

-after a few more rounds, you and schlatt are pretty much caught up to the rest of the group, so the choice is made to migrate to the beach

-you’re frolicking ahead of the rest of the group, hand in hand with Niki, both of you giddy as you skip in tandem down the sandy path

-ted and schlatt are a little further back, having been assigned to bringing down beach chairs, the shorter of the two hissing as he struggles to hobble through the hot sand with chairs in hand

-ted rolls his eyes and calls him a baby as he sets up the umbrella and lays out a blanket to lounge on

-schlatt doesn’t respond, instead huffing and puffing as he unfolds the chairs, throwing himself into the one closest to where ted is laying with a groan

-Charlie, Tucker and Jaiden aren’t too far behind, the two men making a joint effort to lug down the packed cooler and Jaiden carrying a bag of beach toys they’d found on the back porch

-after cracking open a few cold ones, the rest of the group is content to sit in silence for a few minutes, -schlatt’s dead to the world, hanging limply in his chair next to ted, who was sitting up on the blanket

-watching where you and niki chase the tide as it pulls out and scampering away when it comes back in as he sipped on his bev

-he sits up a little straighter when he sees the two of you turn and race back to where they’d set up camp

-both of you taking a moment to catch your breath once you make it back up

-breathlessly giggling to one another before you’re parting, niki planting her ass in the sand while you move to stand between schlatt’s legs, looming over where he’s splayed in the chair

-ted bites back a laugh as he watches schlatt do no more than raise his brows, looking up at you over the band of his aviators

“Whaddaya want?”

-you only grin, reaching to grab one of his hands and tugging on it in a lazy attempt to pull him up, 

“Come swimming with me.”

“No.”

“Please?”

“No.”

“Pleeeaaaase-uhhhhh.”

“Noooo-uh.”

-you throw your head back and let out a dramatic groan before looking back at him with a slight pout (that has definitely had ted folding on more than one occasion, but he commends his friend for holding out)

“I don’t do seaweed, toots.”

“Why even come to the beach if you’re not gonna swim?” you huff, a little bratty 

“Woman,” Schlatt sighs, “I just sat down, and you’re already bitchin’ at me.”

-ted blanches a bit, eyes darting to you, and he can feel your energy shift as you drop his hand, instead moving to rest it on your now popped hip as you raise an unentertained brow

“Bitching?” you repeat, offering him a chance to correct himself

-but schlatt either failed notice your shift in attitude, or just didn’t give a shit

-ted pales when his friend doubles down

“Bitchin’” he parrots, making it a point to pop the b before taking a swig of his beer, eyes unmoving from where they’re locked on your own

-your eyes narrow and your jaw clenches, but before you have the chance to say anything else, Charlie is standing up,

“I’ll come swimming with you guys!” he chirps, moving to take off his shirt and walking over to help Niki off of the ground before the two scamper off to the water together

“Uhh, I’ll go too.” Tucker rushes out,

“Same!” Jaiden agrees, and they’re quickly following after the other two

-leaving the three of you to simmer in the tension and the heat of the sun

-you remain unmoving from your spot, but glance over to where Ted is still on the blanket, 

“You coming?”

-ted awkwardly coughs into his fist, eyes darting between you and schlatt, both sets of eyes expectantly locked onto him once again 

“I think I need to uh… warm up a little more before I get in the water.”

-you only narrow your eyes at him

“I see where your loyalties lie.”

-ted’s mouth drops open to defend himself, but it quickly snaps back shut when he sees you take a small step back and shucking off your coverup, revealing the tasteful {bathing suit of your choice?} hidden underneath

-and throwing the bundle of clothes in schlatt’s face, hard enough to knock his sunglasses askew

-you scowl, face heating a bit when his only response is slouching further into his seat, newly exposed eyes shamelessly roving over your body before meeting your own with raised brows

“Nice rack.”

-instead of dignifying him with a response, you snag the glasses off of his face and put them on yourself before turning to make your way to where the others are splashing in the water

-both men’s eyes firmly set on your ass as you saunter towards the waterline

-ted eyes snap away when the sound of his friend’s voice breaks him out of his trance

“The fuck is her problem?” schlatt grumbled, eyes trained on where you’re moping at the water’s edge

“I mean… you did kind of just call her a bitch?” Ted says cautiously

-more concerned with how playing mediator irl would work out than the actual “situation” at hand

-he’d settled countless petty spats for the two of you before, but that was over the phone

-zero risk of either party hearing him play the ‘other side’

-he deflates bit when he sees schlatt shrug, 

“She was bein’ a bitch.”

-ted sucks in a deep sigh, not really in the mood to play referee, but knowing that he may have to for the sake of the evening

-but before he could begin his tirade, he loses his train of thought as he watches schlatt stand from his chair 

-eyes going wide as he watches his friend move to pull his shirt over his head, gulping at the sight of the large expanse of his back, strong shoulders tensing with the motion

“Where’re you going?”

-schlatt turns to look at him over his shoulder, smirking

“Goin’ to get my fuckin’ glasses back.”

-he doesn’t give ted the chance to protest, already halfway to the water by the time he’d managed to pull his thoughts together

-ted can’t do much more than watch as schlatt jogs up behind you, wincing a bit when he bends down to scoop you up into a princess carry and wade further into the water

-he could hear the distant sound of you shouting, and see you squirming and kicking as you try to escape his grasp, but you don’t move fast enough

-because before you know it, Schlatt is falling backwards into the water, bringing you under with him

-ted relaxes a bit when he sees both of you re-emerge from the water laughing, schlatt pushing some hair out of your face before taking his glasses off of you and putting them back on himself 

-when the two of you part, it’s only to wreak havoc on the others 

-you’re wading towards tucker with anything but good intentions, and schlatt is struggling to drag Charlie under water as Niki and Jaiden run towards shallow water to spare themselves 

-just as ted’s fomo starts kicking, you and the others begin waving him over

-he grins and pushes off of the ground, but as he begins to make his way to the water, he can hear the lot of you shouting something he couldn’t understand, and pointing towards something near him

-pausing with a confused frown, he points to himself, brows furrowing when the small crowd all makes an assortment of different motions, all meaning no

-he sets his eyes on you, knowing that you’d give him something to work with

-he laughs when he watches you crouch and put both of your arms to balance yourself and pretend to wobble 

-and it’s like a little light bulb goes off over his head, and he points at the paddle board a few feet away from him 

-grinning when the small crowd wildly cheers and walking over to grab it so he can bring it down to the water

-he honestly doesn’t know what else he expected from a group of adults when he finally reaches the water with the paddle board

-as soon as it’s floating, you, schlatt and charlie are fighting to get on

-charlie clinging to the board as you and schlatt try to shove each other off

-though none of you are successful, as a wave is quick to wash in and flip the board, sending all of you tumbling under water

-once the madness settles, the lot of you take turns either getting on the board and riding a wave in or staying back and giving the riders a push start

-you, jaiden and niki manage to all crowd on together and successfully ride a wave in, shrieking with joy as you feel the rush of water beneath the board push you to shore

-ted, tucker and charlie attempt to replicate the glory, but fail miserably

-charlie had insisted on trying to stand up and ended up tipping the board over  

-one by one, the crowd begins to leave the water, the combination of the cold ocean and exertion tiring everyone out pretty quickly

-but you, ted and schlatt hold strong, used to the stinging cold of the atlantic 

-at least he thought you were

-after sending schlatt off on a wave, he glances over to where he heard rapid clicking from beside him, partially worried that it was some ocean creature out to get him

-though that concern is replaced when he turns and sees you, rubbing your arms in an attempt to warm up as your teeth chatter

-when you see him looking at you, you snap your mouth shut to stop your teeth from chattering, though as soon as you do, your body begins to basically vibrate in turn

“Alright, time to get out.” Ted decides, and moves to lead you out of the water, pausing when he sees you stubbornly shake your head no

“I don’t wanna.”

“You realize you’re shivering like a cartoon character right now, yes?”

“Don’t care.”

-he lets out an exasperated sigh, looking to schlatt for help as he wades back towards the two of you with the board

“Would you tell her to get out, please?”

-schlatt pauses, glancing between ted and where you stand beside him, still shivering 

“Why would I do that?”

“She’s gonna get fuckin’ hypothermia.”

-schlatt only shrugs,

“Sounds like a her problem.”

“Dude.”

-ted purses his lips and impatiently raises his brows, and once again motions to where you’re standing 

-schlatt throws his head back with a groan,

“Jesus, fine. C’mere-“

-as expected, you try to swim away before schlatt can reach you, but fail, not able to do much more than go limp as he manhandles you to sit on the board, the cold having zapped all the fight from you 

-schlatt moves to stand in between your legs, patting your thigh to get your attention

“Last one. We’re gonna be here all fuckin’ week.”

“Fine. But ‘m not happy about it.”

“I don’t think I could care any less, actually.”

-he dodges the hand that swipes out at him with a laugh, turning his head to look at ted over his shoulder

“Teddy, hop on.”

“Wuh?”

-he glances between where schlatt is looking at him over his shoulder and you’re peaking at him from over schlatt’s head 

“You’re gonna miss the fuckin wave, get on!” 

-ted’s eyes widen at his insistence, but he can feel the pull of another wave forming

-he chances a look behind him and sees a considerably large swell forming a little further out 

-he scrambles to get on the board with you, scooching up behind you and looking over at schlatt, who was still standing at the back end of the board 

“What’re you doing?! Get on!”

“’M peeing.”

-a shit eating from spreads across schlatt’s face as you whip around to give him a look of disgust -comically similar to the one ted was giving him

-before either of you can comment, he’s pushing you off with the wave, laughing manically as the two of you are rushed off

-you let out a choked shriek as you take off, firmly planting your hands on the board in front of you to balance yourself

-ted behind you is quiet enough that part of you is worried he fell off 

-you look over your shoulder to make sure he’s still there, laughing at his wide eyed expression

-and ted is so caught up in the vision of you laughing back at him, the wind rustling your hair and the sun is hitting you just right, and you look good enough to fucking eat in that swimsuit and- 

oH fUCK IS HE SLIDING BACKWARDS?!?

-you shriek as your side of the board teeters up as ted’s sinks down, both of you sliding down the board

-though ted has significantly less board to slide down, his arms coming out to flail cartoonishly before splashing back into the water, the board flopping back down to the water after the weight is redistributed thanks to his fall

-he resurfaces coughing, watching you propel back to shore, dramatically wailing his name as you go

-he turns at the sound of familiar cackling from behind him, jolting when two large hands grab his shoulders and shake him

“Oh my god, that was too fuckin’ good, man. What the fuck happened?”

-ted forced a laugh, very cooly and casually brushing his friend’s very large hands off of his shoulders

“I dunno,” he chuckled, “Jus’ slid right off.”

-schlatt’s laughter dies down, and he wipes a crocodile tear from the corner of his eye before leveling ted with a knowing look,

“Mhm. We should probably get goin’ before the log I just dropped hits ya.”

“Dude, you have got to stop saying shit like that. I can’t tell if you’re joking any more.”

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-back on the beach, you, jaiden and charlie were burying tucker in the sand and constructing him a beautiful false-mermaid body

-ted stayed back by the water to help niki find beach treasures to accessorize tucker

-when schlatt made it back up, the first thing he did was plant himself on his knees beside you and get to work on molding tucker a set of honkers

-once the masterpiece is complete, everyone takes turns taking pictures with tucker before settling down to chill in the sand for a while 

-you, jaiden, niki and charlie decided to play a game of uno on an inconveniently small plastic table, while tucker was content to remain buried in the warm sand 

-ted collapsed back into his chair, tilting his head back and basking in the sun while schlatt laid on the portion of the blanket shaded by the umbrella a few feet away

-he laughed to himself as he listened to you bicker with charlie about the ethics of a +4 card for a moment before admitting defeat and walking away from the game

-watching you rustle through a bag for a moment before finding what you’d been looking for and making your way over

-you laid tummy down on the portion of the blanket still bathed in the sun, between the two men (duh)

-once you made yourself comfortable, you impatiently held up the bottle of spf you had grabbed,

“Somebody screen me.”

-ted glances from you to schlatt, who makes no effort move

“Hello?” you called, brattiness seeping into your tone with the thought of being ignored 

-cautiously, he leans over in his chair and slowly reaches for the bottle of sunscreen, but just as his fingers are about to brush the bottle

-he flinches back when his hand is slapped away

“Aye, what kinda party do you think this is, Teddy?” schlatt teased

-ted doesn’t dignify it with a response, only rolling his eyes and shaking his head, waving him off 

-even tho schlatt couldn’t see it thru his darkened light responsive lenses 🤓

-ted really does make his best effort to keep his focus on the intense final rounds of the ongoing uno game

-but his gaze kept on being drawn to his periphery

-and he really, honestly and truly could not stop himself from taking a few side wards glances

-unable to draw his eyes away from where strong hands worked over soft, glistening skin, flesh dimpling under the pressure of firmly pressing fingers 

-he swears feels a set of eyes on him and snaps his gaze away, guilty at even the slightest chance of being caught 

-though out of the corner of his eye, he swears he sees a rogue grin spreading across his friend’s face

-when he chances a glance back, he just catches schlatt drawing his hand back, winding up to land a brutal smack to the partially exposed globe of your ass 

-you shout, shooting up and grabbing the forgotten bottle of sunscreen and using it as a melee weapon to thwack the side of schlatt’s head

-before you bring a hand back to rub the stinging flesh, whining about it hurting 

-schlatt was laughing away, all too pleased with himself as ted coughs into his fist, shifting in his seat

-after a couple more hours of going back and forth between splashing in the ocean and lounging in the sun warmed sand, the sun begins to set and the temperature begins to drop

-the lot of you decide to head back to the house and get cleaned up, taking a brief intermission before relocating the “party” to inside 

-you, ted and schlatt are chilling on the back porch as you wait for tucker, who had desperately pleaded to use your shower first so he could wash all of the sand off of him

-ted is next, quickly rinsing off before making his way back out to the porch, taking schlatt’s seat next to you when he stands up and brushes his hands off on his swim shorts 

“Alright, I’m gonna go shower.”

“Have fun, we’ll be here.”

“Please save me hot water, I beg.”

-schlatt pauses, pressing his lips into a thin line as his eyes dart between where you and ted are comfortably folded into the couch, looking cluelessly up at him

-after a moment of staring he raises his brows at you and not so subtly nods his head to the door,

laughing a little when your face lights up in realization

“Oh!”

-ted deflates a little when you scramble out of the chair, following after schlatt as he pushes the door open,

“See you in a few!”

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-it was not in fact “a few”. 

-in the time since the two of you had disappeared upstairs, everyone else in the group had finished showering,  smoked on the porch, played a few rounds of mario kart, and gone back out on the porch to smoke some more 

-the rest of the group is heading back in with plans to start making dinner as ted cleans up outside

-he hears a pair of familiar voices chatting with the group as they all filtered inside

-he looks up when he hears the back door swing open, narrowing his eyes at schlatt as he peaks through with a toothy grin

-but his jaw fucking drops when you follow after him 

“You fucking bastard!”

“Okay, don’t start-“

“You cut my shit!” he shouts, motioning at what you’re wearing 

-schlatt frowns as he looks from schlatt to you, doing a quick once-over of what you were wearing 

-a pair of comfy running shorts and a cropped sweatshirt for some obscure band that the two of you were into in high school

“First off- it’s not your shit. I got custody fair and square. Second- it looks better on me and you’re mad.” you say with with a cocky shrug as you settle on the small couch across from him 

-schlatt laughs as he settles next to you, bringing a hand up from where it was resting on the back of the couch to pinch some of the worn fabric between his fingers 

“Hold on, this was yours?”

-and you could go on a tangent about how yours and ted’s wardrobes had basically become one halfway through high school, and that before the both of you left for school you both sat down and went through your closets and bartered and agonized over who could take what for hours

(you fondly refer to it as the day of reckoning) 

-but instead of going through the effort of an explanation, you only shrug again

“Kinda.”

“‘S a damn shame, this’s one of my favorites.”

“What’re you fuckin wearing it?” ted snarks

-and he sees his friend’s rogue smirk before he opens his mouth to reply, but your hand is quick to slap over his mouth

“Don’t.”

-he secedes with a laugh, raising his hands in defeat before you remove your hand

“Somethin’ like that.” he chuckled as you roll your eyes 

-the three of you sit in silence for a moment before you’re shifting in your seat, a little uncomfortable 

“So are you gonna smoke us out or what?”

���You think I’m gonna let you smoke my weed after you cut up my shit?”

“Ya.”

-he sighs and reaches for the grinder, packing a bowl but sliding the bong to schlatt first, just to be petty 

-but he still frowns when he sees schlatt carelessly pass the glassware off to you after he’s had his fill, watching you fumble with the lighter for a moment before he intervenes 

“You still don’t light it yourself?” he laughs, a little incredulously 

“You wouldn’t be able to with these nails either.” you huff

-both of you turn to look at schlatt expectantly, it taking him a moment to register both of your stares 

“What?”

“Are you going to light the bong for your lady?” he asks teasingly 

-schlatt’s expression turns a little confused as he looks between the both of you 

“Why would I do that?”

-he rolls his eyes when you and ted both let out horrified gasps,

“Because you love and value me???”

-schlatt only shrugs, moving to take the bong out of your hands and place it back on the table between you and ted

“Then you do it.”

“Fine, gimme the lighter.” 

-the atmosphere shifts into something little less playful as you lean forward to press your mouth against the lip of the mouthpiece, looking expectantly up at ted through your lashes 

-he shifts, glancing from you to schlatt, who’d moved his hand from the back of the couch to rest of the small of your back

-schlatt’s brows raise, and a challenging smile plays on his lips as he gives ted a short, almost mocking nod of encouragement 

-ted narrows his eyes before sparking the lighter and bringing it to the bowl, focusing on the smoke filling the chamber rather than the way your lashes flutter as you struggle to inhale

-you pull back spluttering when you feel schlatt’s hand run further up your back, thumb rubbing over your skin

-both men laugh as you sit back up, covering your mouth as you cough

-ted moves to uncap and hand you the water bottle he had brought outside with him as schlatt badgers you

“Come on, that was a weak hit.”

“Was not.”

“I dunno,” ted hums, “That was pretty sad.”

“Fine.” you huff, tucking a few stray strands of hair behind your ear and leaning forward once more 

“But when I start tweaking you guys can’t get mad.”

“No promises.”

“Yeah, if you start going on about fiberglass again I’m just gonna lock you in a closet.”

-you roll your eyes, but still press your lips back to the mouthpiece 

-ted holds your gaze this time, watching for the telltale sign of your eyes watering before you’re thrown into a coughing fit 

-and just as expected, when your eyes go a little glassier you try to pull back

-but both of your eyes widen when schlatt’s hand comes to cup the back of your head, keeping you from pulling away,

“Nuh-uh. Not lettin’ you fuckin’ waste any this time.”

-ted watches as your eyes squeeze closed for a moment before, to his surprise, you inhale the rest of the smoke in the chamber 

“Theeere you go.” schlatt cooed, tone a little taunting as his hand slides from where it was holding the back of your head to return to it’s place on the small of your back

-the moment his hand leaves your head you’re pulling off and coughing a lung up as schlatt laughs, hand comfortingly rubbing up and down your back 

“Oh my god- I’m gonna vom-“ you groan, but schlatt only rolls his eyes,

“Please-“ he scoffs, “you’re fine.”

“I almost died and neither of you care.”

-ted only laughs at your antics, once again handing you his bottle that you’d left on the table, both men watching as you gulp down most of what remained before wiping your mouth with the back of your hand

-not more than a few seconds later, there’s a shout announcing that dinner is ready from inside the house 

-you’ve already gone a little giggly as you push off the couch, grabbing onto the back of schlatt’s sweatshirt as you closely follow behind him, ted on your heels 

-dinner isn’t anything too fancy, just some frozen pizza and some random shit they’d bought to throw in the bougie air fryer 

-though it tastes like the most delicious feast on the planet to you as you burn your mouth on melted cheese

-after eating, the group makes it’s way back to the living room for the Official mario kart tournament 

-niki, jaiden and charlie all squeeze onto one couch while tucker and ted comfortably spread out on the other 

-schlatt takes the recliner, and you crawl into his lap before you’re handed a remote

-you ignore schlatt as he tries to tell you the most efficient car combinations, instead going for your usual tactic of “cutest available character with a fun matching car”

-and maybe everyone else will believe that your devastating loss was the fault of your silly little car

-but ted knows better

-he glanced over after he had seen your character swerving on a map that he knew you knew like the back of of hand 

-his eyes widening when he sees schlatt’s eyes already locked on him as he leans close to whisper something in your ear with a smile that couldn’t mean anything good

-he watches you squirm, and his eyes trail down to where a large hand is grabbing at your thigh, soft skin pudging out between strong fingers as he kneads the flesh

-it’s only after ted hears the sound bite of your character falling off of the map that he sees you swatting his hand away, hissing a quiet 

“Yo, chill.”

-due to your poor performance, you lose your place on the roster and hand your remote over to schlatt

-there being a small chorus of boos when he goes back to re-customize your car before the match starts

-despite the protest, the changes seem to have had a positive effect, schlatt smoking the others for the first two laps

-but when he begins his third lap, ted sees you shuffling out of the corner of his eye, looking entirely too pleased with yourself

-and all of a sudden, every few seconds schlatt is driving off the map, or steering directly into bananas and other such inhibitors 

-nobody else seems to notice, too busy celebrating Tucker’s miraculous comeback to pick up on what ted was pretty sure the two of you are up to

-schlatt roles his eyes and talks his shit about whooping everybody next time as he hands off his remote with an unusually small amount of protest after he loses

-not even a few minutes into the next round, the two of you are announcing that you’re retiring to bed and bidding everyone goodnight 

-there’s a chorus of wishes of sweet dreams and restful sleep from the others, but ted only narrows his eyes at the two of you as you ascend the spiral staircase 

-when schlatt catches his eyed again, he only sends him a rogue wink before reaching to grab a handful of your ass as you climb ahead of him

-you yelp and stumble, knocking your shin on one of the steps before ascending the rest of the steps on your hands and feet, giggling maniacally 

-ted rolls his eyes before returning his attention back to the tv

-you two are gross

-he decides to lock in for the remainder of the tournament as to avoid going upstairs and risking seeing anything he didn’t want to 

-and he really didn’t want to see anything 

-seriously.

-all he could think about was how badly he didn’t want to see anything nasty taking place between his two very attractive friends who just so happen to be together. 

it’s only natural to be curious, right?

-ted is the next to lose. 

-groaning dramatically as he watches his character cry as they drive laps around the map

-despite his loss, ted takes sitting through the rest of the tournament like a champ 

-absolutely 100% invested in what’s going on around him

-and he definitely does not sit there blankly staring at the black screen of the TV for a moment after the tournament wraps up

“You alright, man?” a familiar voice asks

-ted jumps a bit, eyes darting to where tucker is looking at him from the bottom of the stairs 

“Yeah! Yeah, ‘m good, dude. A-okay.”

-tucker only pauses, looking over ted for a moment before shrugging,

“Alright, whatever you say.” and with that, he’s ascending the spiral staircase

-ted stays in his spot on the couch for a moment, wondering what tucker could have been worried bout, before pushing off the couch and making his way up the stairs himself 

-when he enters his room, he can just barely hear your and schlatt’s muffled voices through the bathroom door

-he tries to ignore it, but he can hear the two of you giggling while he’s brushing his teeth and the fomo is KICKING

-after rinsing his mouth out, he stands by your bedroom door for a moment, listening for your voices as his hand hovers by the knob 

-surely if the two of you were still hanging out you’d have invited him… right?

-another indecipherable string of dialect follows another bout of giggles, and ted presses his lips into a thin line

-no way the two of you ditched the tournament just to go do something way cooler and more fun on your own without him,  right??

-and he couldn’t tell you why, but the evil little creature on his shoulder is whispering to him to press his ear against the door, and he listens

-but before he can get his ear pressed to the door, full creep

-his daze is broken by the sound of a high pitched keening sound that’s cut off quickly enough that ted questions if it was even real

-he freezes, carefully listening for any more signs of life in the room

-on the other side of the door, schlatt is hovering over you, one hand planted on the side of your head, the other firmly pressed over your mouth

-he gives you a toothy grin as you pleadingly look up at him

-whining again into the palm of his hand, quieter this time

-he only shushes you, glancing over his shoulder as he waits to see the light filtering in from under the bathroom door to shut off

-once he hears the sound of footsteps retreating from the door, and the lights flick off, he’s taking his hand off of your mouth to instead roughly grab your cheeks, shaking you a bit as he laughs, feeling your your face get hot in his grip

“You little fucking freak, you liked that, didn’t you?”

⋆⁺｡˚⋆˙‧₊☽ ◯ ☾₊‧˙⋆˚｡⁺⋆

-ted sighs as he climbs into his cold sheets, closing his eyes an attempting to drift off to sleep

-they snap back open when he hears a particularly loud thud from across the hal

-he lets out a frustrated huff and snatches his phone off of his bedside table, opening youtube and pulling up a rain sound video and turning his volume up all the way

-hoping he’d be able to drift off into sleep with the sound of the ocean and rain

-but despite his exhaustion from his long day, he struggles to fall into a fitful slumber

⋆⁺｡˚⋆˙‧₊☽ ◯ ☾₊‧˙⋆˚｡⁺⋆

here is the tag list, if u wanna be added just ask :)

@buckys-goodgirl @littleskeletonprincessss @miniminkis

[wen-kexing-apologist]

ngl i am waiting for you to write about physical touch and HANDS in last twilight *insert manifestation circle.gif here*

Not gonna lie, as much as I have been enjoying Last Twilight, I haven't felt all that inspired to write about it, but it has been making me feel all warm and fuzzy now that people are reaching out and asking for my thoughts. Turns out people actually seem to enjoy my horrendously long posts!

Alright, I will talk about physical touch and hands in Last Twilight, but before I get too far in to it, I just want to say, I love the use of physical touch in shows, but I will dare to claim the use of physical touch seems particularly important, and especially complicated in Last Twilight, compared to most of the other shows I've written about. Why?

Because Day is blind, and Mhok is his caretaker, and if you are remotely aware of disability, the autonomy of disabled people, the privacy of disabled people, the survival of disabled people are often disrupted by abled bodied people. I saw a post somewhere, sorry I can't find it, where someone mentioned the rates of abuse of disabled people by their caretakers and how that might weigh in to Day's reaction to touching a shirtless Mhok in Episode 2.

So.

With Day's blindness, grief, and intentional isolation, as well as his family's anxiety, how much control has Day really had over his own life in the last year? As @bengiyo said in Episode 1, "Day's brashness in the interview when he asks Mhok if he's hot sounds like a gay man knowing that he is about to be touched a lot by a stranger" [not a direct quote, apologies].

Episode 1

gif from @dragonsareawesome123

The first physical touch we get between Day and Mhok is when Mhok touches Day's chin, making a comment that essentially boils down to Day having a punchable face. You can see how shocked Day is to feel Mhok's thumb on him. But the motion is quick, light, and slightly flirty (though maybe I'm reading a bit in to that last one since I know this is a BL). While Day seems taken aback, he doesn't seem uncomfortable with the touch at all, moreso, to me at least, he seems surprised that Mhok *isn't* shying away from touching Day after Day so loudly and blatantly declared his queerness and hit on Mhok.

photo from @thescrumptiousstuffs

The second physical touch we get is when Day leaves his car and winds up on the street with traffic whizzing past. Mhok pulls Day off the street when Day gets overwhelmed and Day goes crashing in to Mhok. I don't remember them staying pressed together for too long, but there is a moment where Mhok is embracing Day. Mhok's hands go to Day's hips while Day's hand rests on Mhok's chest near his collarbone. From my view, this is a decently intimate position for relative strangers, but they don't feel uncomfortable in it. Which is a great hint that Mhok and Day are going to become more to each other. Mhok does something here that I do think is important, which is to tell Day who is he, so Day knows he isn't being manhandled by a *complete* stranger. And though I suspect the biggest reason why Day ends up being driven home by Mhok is because Day wants to be away from Night, it cannot be denied that Day already has some modicum of trust in this random, crass man that burst in for an interview just the other day. Because, as we know, Mhok was really the only person who interacted with Day without falling victim to pity, inspiration porn, or infantilization.

The third physical touch I consider important is when Day's mother stops him from standing up. I've been reading @waitmyturtles PhD level thesis on Bad Buddy so filial piety and saving face is pretty present on my mind. I think it is important to acknowledge that Day does have some autonomy, but where he exercises it is very clear. He can leverage his blindness and his bad experiences with past caretakers to get what he wants out of his mother, and he can double, triple, quadruple the caretaker salary without consulting his mother. But when it comes to physical movement, he listens to his mother, but not to Night. Night tells him to stay in the car, and Day almost immediately leaves the car and goes in to the Society. Day gets out in the middle of traffic after a fight with Night, even after Night begs him to stay in the car. But that moment of challenge from Mhok where he tells Day to come get his ID himself, and Day starts to stand, everything stops dead in its tracks at the first light touch of his mother's hand on Day's chest. So, despite the moments of anger and rebellion we see from Day, he still listens to his mother.

gif from @dragonsareawesome123

And then Day moves to get his ID, and here is where I will mention a moment where there was not any touch. Which, probably could be an essay in and of itself, but I don't have the capacity at the moment, on this airplane, to comb through all the scenes and look for it. But here, this one feels important, because Day takes the ID from Mhok, but Mhok does not let go right away. Their fingers are so close, and in a lot of movies, the handing over of an item would usually involve some sort of moment where fingertips brush and a shockwave of electricity ripples through the future couple. But we don't get that here. The moment of connection, the moment that Day really knows he can trust Mhok, the moment Day decides he is going to hire Mhok has nothing to do with touch, and everything to do with sound. He hears Mhok read Chapter 21 of The Little Prince, a book that is desperately important to Day, and that is that. And I do think it is important that these little touches that we've had, and where we break from the romance tradition for touch are important. Because, I think it is totally fine for feelings to grow between Mhok and Day rather quickly, but I do not think it would have been wise to show Mhok having some sort of actual crush on Day from the beginning. If Mhok had some sort of romantic or sexually attractive feelings for Day before he started working there, that would, in my opinion, read as predatory in some sense. Especially looking ahead to Episode 2, when Mhok is shirtless in Day's room.

Because, the thing about physical touch in television is that a lot of different elements go in to selling it as romantic chemistry. One of the most important components is timing and close up. As a side note, I think timing is a huge factor in to why I did not enjoy Perth and Chimon together in Dangerous Romance (before I dropped it) because the camera just never lingered long enough on their faces or on their touches for me to believe they had feelings for each other. But, by Episode 3 of Last Twilight I can see the care and the chemistry between Mhok and Day. I can see the comfortability that Mhok and Day have from almost the very beginning of knowing each other, but I don't take much of their physical interactions to be sexually charged or romantic in Episode 1. Why would they be? These two don't know each other. By generally avoiding zooming in on just Day and Mhok's hands when they touch, by having Mhok grabbing Day's chin with his thumb quickly and lightly you aren't building to tension. Aof is merely demonstrating that physical touch between Day and Mhok is welcomed and Day is not going to be uncomfortable with having Mhok take care of him.

So we head in to Episode 2 with the understanding that there is some fundamental aspect of Mhok that Day is drawn to, and that Mhok and Day are going to get along.

Episode 2

Now, as much as I have loved the rapidly developing relationship between Mhok and Day, I do kind of wish we had had a full episode's worth of two angry, grieving people coming head to head. But, regardless, Aof handles the transition between casual touch and Something More with expert precision. Unsurprising, considering his oeuvre.

gif by @mooninaugust

So we get absolutely my favorite touch moment to date in Episode 2 with the absolutely terrible secret handshake between two blind people. I love how Mhok is witness to this moment of excitement and friendship between Day and Aon, and that we are too. Because it shows us where Mhok currently stands in Day's hierarchy of relationships. Mhok at the beginning of Episode 2 is still an acquaintance, some dude they hired because he cursed the family out and read The Little Prince during his interview process. The cut scene between Mhok saying Day might not want to see him, and Aon and Day hugging and doing their stupid loser handshake (I love them) shows Mhok and the audience that Day does have joy within him, and that Day is starting to build friendship and connection within his new (read: blind) community. We won't know until a little later in the episode how much Day has been cutting himself off from his old life, but for the time being Mhok knows his place in Day's life.

And Aon picks up on the fact that there is *something* even if it is not necessarily romantic there between Mhok and Day, again not by seeing anything physical between them because a) Mhok and Day did not touch in front of Aon and b) Aon would not have been able to see it anyway. But instead calls out the fact that Day has never talked about a single one of his caregivers before. We know now (and definitely should know already) that Mhok is different from other people Day has engaged with since he started going blind. We just haven't had time for their relationship to mature.

photo from @thatgirl4815

If I recall correctly, the first physical touch between Mhok and Day we get in Episode 2 is when Day accidentally touches Mhok's titty while searching for the eye drops. You can see Day recoil in shock a bit and he questions Mhok almost immediately as to why his shirt is off. Mhok is incredibly matter-of-fact in explaining that Day said he didn't like the smell of cigarettes, so he took his shirt off so as not to stink up Day's room (we can ignore the fact that he would still smell like cigs, but we ignore it For The Vine) and Day relaxes and makes some sort of annoyed comment. Again here, there is no romantic attraction in this rather intimate touch. I mean, this is Mhok's what? Second or third day? Mhok and Day barely know each other, Mhok is constantly fucking up the Whole Routine because he isn't communicating with Day about what Day's needs are, and here he is in his employer's room having his pec fondled. This is supposed to read as funny, and ultimately I think it does, but it doesn't read as romantic, and it definitely should not. What has Mhok done up to this point that would cause Day to have Genuine Romantic Feelings for him? Nothing.

photo from @moonchildridden

Again, the first hint that feelings may be approaching comes outside of the touch, with Mhok seeing how excited Day is to use those few precious seconds of better vision to watch his goldfish. And even moreso, it's not just the action that I think start the train rolling, but the conversation that Mhok has with Day where he asks if the goldfish is lonely. Mhok is able to con Day in to leaving his room by leveraging the health and safety of one of the few things Mhok has seen Day care about and connect with in the short time they've known each other. Day gets outside for the first time in god knows how long, to find that the jasmine is in bloom and to have a lovely conversation with Mhok about it. Mhok asks about Day's vision, how he sees, what he can see, and he tries to adapt to Day's necessary distance requirements. Day of course, has his head turned away and thus does not see Mhok coming in to Day's eyesight range, and bumps his nose against the top of Mhok's finger.

This little, accidental movement is one of my favorites of the episode, mostly because it opens up the conversation where Day asks what Mhok is doing and Mhok asks if Day wants to see his face. And this scene establishes exactly what I mean about timing as it relates to building sexual tension. Day ponders for a moment, the camera lingers on his face, the audience begins to feel like Day is caught off-guard, like maybe he does have some sort of crush on Mhok and he does want to see his face. Only for Day to break that tension right before it gets awkwardly long and tell Mhok he does not. This is closer to the shit that friends would pull. And thus we see that in a very quick period of time Mhok is becoming more important in Day's life as a waypoint. He is listening to Mhok, he has a slight bit of banter going with Mhok when they watch a movie, and even after Day fires Mhok (for the physical touches I will talk about next) Mhok's influence on Day's general day to day (haha) existence is clear in the fact that Day is sitting on the couch and trying to pick a movie entirely independently of anyone.

Things are starting to go smoothly, when Day's friends show up asking when he got back from America. Day panics at the unexpected arrival of friends who seem not to know about his condition, spills his popcorn, and falls to the floor, where he is desperately scrambling to get back on his feet and Get The Fuck Out. Mhok tries to help him up, but he's pretty quickly brushed off. This is the first time we see Day reject a touch from Mhok. Knowing what I know now about where we end up in Episode 3, I am realizing how important this entire scene (from Day tripping to Mhok getting fired) is for establishing a comparison point for change. Because the unwanted touch continues when Mhok breaks in to Day's room, also in a panic when Day is bathing.

gif by @btwinlines

We get such a juicy moment of Mhok and Day's trauma clashing with each other in a way that is unintentionally terrible all around. Day does not know about Mhok's backstory, Day does not know that by putting in his headphones and intentionally ignoring Mhok he is accidentally triggering Mhok regarding the death of his sister. Mhok knows that Day is upset, but only hears the room fall quiet, he does not know that Day is in the bathtub (read: naked) when he comes barging in. Again, to reference the post whoever it was made that talked about the rates of abuse/assault of disabled people by caregivers, this is a horrifically vunerable position that Day finds himself in. Mhok is far enough away from Day's range of vision for Day to see him immediately duck behind a wall to give Day privacy while he wraps himself in a towel. And before Day can really process what is happening, with both his emotions and Mhok's running high, Mhok is grabbing at Day's wrists to check them for cuts. A beautiful (and terrible) detail.

Personally, I do not think anyone's reaction to that situation is wrong, but it does give Day a second round of extremely uncomfortable and unwelcome touching from Mhok, when he's already escalated, and trying to process the fact that Mhok just barged in to his room while Day was naked and got a little peek. Here Day demonstrates that he does have autonomy, and that Mhok respects that autonomy with Day firing Mhok after two particularly awful physical interactions, and with Mhok not even saying a word in protest and just accepting his termination and leaving the house.

photo from @thescrumptiousstuffs

Now. Mhok isn't completely going out fighting, and Mhok I think has really started to realize that he cares for Day (even if he doesn't necessarily have feelings at this point) because of how badly he was triggered by Day falling silent. Mhok is a thoughtful person and respects Day's boundaries by sending Porjai to the house instead of going himself. Much to Day's chagrin, because the second the doorbell rings, you can see this hopeful look that maybe Mhok is going to walk through that door. Porjai hands Day the present Mhok bought him, and Mhok does hold the slippers close, but he relies heavily on his hands to feel the slippers to figure out what they are and what they look like. He knows immediately that Mhok has been paying attention and trying to get to know Day immediately because the slippers solve the problem Day has had with hitting his feet on furniture corners, and the slippers look like goldfish, one of the few things Day has seemed to care about since knowing Mhok.

Beyond the fact that I think Day already felt bad about what happened the other day and regrets firing Mhok, this really does demonstrate to Day that people still care about him, want to get to know him, and understand that adaptation is a constant in Day's new reality. But Mhok takes it further, by committing to the motherfucking bit to understand Day better.

Aside: I fucking *love* Aof for how often his stories focus on the overlooked or disenfranchised people, and I think that while it is going to be a feat for Last Twilight to become my favorite Aof piece considering how important Moonlight Chicken is to me, the backstories of Mhok and Day and the way they inform character decisions is perhaps my favorite of all of the shows I've seen of Aof's. I *love* the conversation that Mhok and Aon have where Aon says Day is scared of being looked at and judged by people, and how Mhok is like "why?" because he has spent the last year a visible criminal, trying to get a job, and being constantly rejected for exactly the reason he thinks. Mhok has spent so much time and energy over the last year trying to reintegrate himself in to society, while Day has spent so much time and energy over the last year trying to remove himself from society as completely as he can. Even if I am not sure that he believes it wholly, I do think Mhok understands that he isn't an inherently bad person because he was locked up, but that he is a victim of circumstance, and yet even reformed from his truancy past, Mhok found it impossible to get a job because people stopped caring about him as a person the second they saw his ankle monitor. Thus, Mhok knows exactly what it is like to be written off, to be abandoned, to be forgotten and I think it is for precisely those reasons that Mhok decides to spend the time and effort to understand the world that Day is living in.

The ankle monitor has served as an embarrassment for Mhok in such a way that I truly do not think Mhok is concerned about seeming like a complete and utter fool. And even so, he starts to understand the fear that Day is living with existing as a blind person in public, because Mhok is extremely used to seeing what people think of him without them having to say anything, and now he has no idea.

gif by @btwinlines

Which I think is a good segue in to the next physical touch we get, which is Day feeling Mhok's face in the marketplace after he asks Porjai to take him there. Again, the distance of the camera, the timing of the movement does not come off as romantic, at least to me. But it does come off as comfortable. I think Day is fucking with Mhok a little bit when he touches his face, and we don't actually acknowledge or get any conversation around the way Day has just demonstrated what it feels like to be touched without warning.

And YET AGAIN Aof has their bond strength not through touch, but through conversation. Because they aren't falling for each other yet, they are still learning about one another. And so they have a conversation where Mhok apologies and Mhok explains what he was trying to do and Mhok identifies what it is that makes Day so afraid of being in public. And we end Episode 2 with Mhok being re-hired as Day's caregiver. But wait!

Remember the last touch we get in Episode 1 is not a touch at all, it's Day taking his ID back from Mhok. Well, the last touch we get in Episode 2 is not a touch at all, it's Day throwing his hands to the sky on the back of Mhok's motorcycle and letting the wind hit his face. It's Day sitting on the complete opposite side of a glass tank, and using his moment of improved vision to catch a glimpse of Mhok. They aren't touching, yet we end the episode with the understanding that Day and Mhok have strengthened their relationship and are on the fast road to friendship. Personally, I feel like it is extremely responsible of Aof to not treat touching a blind person or having a blind person touch you as inherently romantic, and to have the more stomach swoopy moments come from actions and observations entirely devoid of touch. But, I'm not blind so I don't know how much something like that might actually matter to blind people who are engaging with this story.

Episode 3

IT IS TIME FOR FEELINGS!

There are so many physical touches in this episode. The first we get is Mhok unwrapping a bandage on Day's foot, with Day looking extremely at peace with the action. The second we get is Mhok kind of poking at Day and then jokingly moving to pick Day up when he refuses to start cleaning his room. Day doesn't seem like a person generally fond of man-handling, but you can tell very easily that Mhok is just fucking with Day because Day fucked with Mhok. We are witnessing friendship! Which persists throughout the entire episode. 

photo by @athousandbyeol

I like too that Mhok using the blindfold to better understand Day is not a one and done situation. Again there are a few friendly touch moments that do not at all read as romantic.Mhok steals Day’s sunglasses and is perfectly at peace with Day feeling up his face to try to see if the sunglasses Mhok is wearing are his; and when Mhok's hand envelopes Day's when they are trying to guess the shirts in Day's closet by feel alone. Day does not tense up, he doesn't suck in a breath, he doesn't really let that touch linger. He shakes it off quickly and is like "that's my hand". And again, as an aside (I hope this does not come across inappropriately but) I kinda like that Mhok is almost gamifying Day's blindness. What I mean by that is that Day and Mhok are engaging in friendly competition to see who can accurately guess the article of clothing. It seems like a great way to bring some joy and levity to helping Day get better at understanding his surroundings without the use of his vision.

I am an absolute sucker for couples in shows that have an established friendship beforehand. I don't mean friends to lovers necessarily, but too often in BLs I have noticed that romantic interests are only ever that and we don't get a lot of moments of stupidity, tomfoolery, and fun. So you better believe I was living my best life in the next physical touch scene when Day and Mhok are fighting with the dinosaur costumes on. And this is where the physical touches start to change, because we start without physical touch and end with it, where we have up until this point been ending every moment of connection and relationship progression ending without touch. 

gif by @raypakorn

For the dinosaur fight, we get the non-romantic, entirely platonic assistive touch of Mhok helping (poorly) to guide Day to the driveway (this fucker was so ready to wrestle he forgot to tell Day to mind the stairs at first lmfao). The actual point of connection starts with Mhok intentionally trying to dive out of the way of Day’s touch. And once again Mhok Day’s blindness to elevate a game between them, by clapping and then diving out of the way to try to avoid Day’s movements. But that avoidance of physical interaction very quickly devolves in to a wrestling embrace, laughing, having fun, and then settling on the ground to chat until Day hears his mother’s car and they run back inside to hide the evidence of childish glee. 

Day’s mother returns to find a very different Day from who she left, he’s out of his room, he’s eating in the dining room, he’s seeming much more confident in his ability to navigate around the house. And of course, she has to go and ruin the moment by pushing too quickly on a nerve about going back to school. Day wants to withdraw from school and he needs to go in person. 

Now. 

We have seen Day taking massive strides in his own healing process in the last few episodes because he is starting to ask for help when he needs it, and Mhok is getting better at caretaking because he is started to ask if Day wants help for certain tasks or if Day is going to do them himself, thus allowing Day to set his limitations. Knowing that Day is going in to school, he asks Mhok to help him fix up his hair, and we get the first of many more crush-level physical touches in the show. 

gif by @jimmysea

I’m not Thai, so forgive me if this is wrong, but I am pretty sure that in Thai culture the head is considered sacred and having people touch your head carries a significance that I do not think Western audiences really understand (speaking as a Western viewer). If this is indeed true, then the scene where Mhok is fixing Day’s hair gets even more intense, even when there is a clear change in Mhok’s view of Day from friendly to starting to see something more. Mhok even makes a comment about how Day is a stunner (or something) when his hair is done, and when Mhok asks Day if he likes it and Day returns the question, there is a pause that is not at all dissimilar to the pause Day had after Mhok asked him if Day wanted to know what Mhok looked like. 

But where the tension from Episode 2 when Mhok asks the question is broken in a way that makes it seem more like Day is just teasing, I don’t think Mhok’s deflection of “it’s alright” really returns the same level of dismissal. Because Mhok is starting to realize something about the way he is feeling for Day. 

We get the inside of the Thai subway for the first time in maybe ever? As Mhok and Day make their way to Day’s college. And thus the not-a-date-kind-of-a-date adventure begins. Day is clinging on to Mhok’s arm as they navigate on to the subway car, at which point Mhok breaks off from Day to try to ask for a seat for Day. But Day grabs him and pulls him back, choosing instead of hold on to Mhok’s arm. Like I have been saying, Aof has been doing a really great job at differentiating the types of touches, and up until this point, the more intimate touches between Mhok and Day, such as when Day feels Mhok’s titty in his bedroom or Mhok’s face at the market, don’t read as romantic, because Day is taking in information to supplement his vision. Similarly, the moments where Day is holding on to Mhok for assistance in environmental navigation, such as when Mhok helps guide Day to his professor’s office or helps him down the stairs the physical touch is matter-of-fact on both ends. 

photo by @athousandbyeol

But here, in the subway, we get the first instance of physical touch from an environmental navigation standpoint that reads more like a man who is developing a crush rather than Day just being guided…

…but that comes from Day, not from Mhok. Which I appreciate massively from the standpoint of ensuring that Mhok as the caretaker does not appear to be taking advantage of Day. In the subway, Day could have sat down, he didn’t need to stay standing, he didn’t need to continue holding on to  Mhok. But he chooses to do that. He chooses to keep his arm linked tightly with Mhok’s, he chooses to get a little flirty with Mhok when he says as long as Mhok stays close to him, that’s all Day needs. And we get the close up of Mhok and Day’s hands when Mhok moves to tap Day’s hand gently, and the shot lingers. Because things are starting to change.

I said in a previous reblog last week when Episode 3 came out that Aof does this really interesting thing in his direction and cinematography when characters share intimate moments, in that he breaks from his standard visual format. The lighting often changes, the camera isn’t held as steady, the moments are zoomed in much closer than we are used to. We get it with Heart and Li Ming playing that spider game with their fingers the night that Li Ming sleeps over and we get it in the subway when Day stumbles slightly and swallows hard, embarrassed and avoiding eye contact while Mhok looks at Day kind of fondly. 

gif by @taeminie

So we see the spark in the subway and then watch that spark begin to catch when they end up in the dressing room together. Day and Mhok both establish that they have never been in a dressing room with another person to cut the tension and nerves a bit. Afterall, this is the first time that we’ve seen where Mhok is getting up close and personal with Day’s partially nude body, when they are both calm, collected, and not amidst a panic attack about a potential medical emergency. No one is feeling violated, no one is feeling scared, no one is having their privacy forcibly removed from them. But that makes them all that more aware of how they are feeling, physically, when they are touching and being touched. 

And we get a secondary Aof Camerawork Moment where the style of shot changes and we get that gorgeous zoom in on Mhok’s hands and Day’s chest when Mhok helps Day back in to his shirt. And isn’t it wonderful that the most sensual and intimate moment that we have seen from Mhok and Day so far is putting Day’s clothes back on? 

gif by @wanderlust-in-my-soul

Check out @btwinlines’ post about this scene.

Day and Mhok continue their day, find the Last Twilight book, and are hanging about the market where Mhok leaves Day standing against a pole while he runs to grab a drink. As a result, we get a bombardment of physical touch, the most overwhelming to date because Day is getting just absolutely shunted around, bumping elbows and shoulders with the people at the market with no idea of where he is or where he is going. And this is where we really get an understanding of how terrible physical touch can be when you don’t have any bearing of your surroundings and can’t see where people are coming from or anticipate contact. 

We got a scene in Episode 1 where we see how dangerous being blind has the potential to be, but Day isn’t being touched by anybody at that point until he is pulled off the street by Mhok. But this time while Day does have a moment where he is in more physical danger because he stumbles on to the street, he is relatively much more safe getting lost in the marketplace than when he ran out on to the street in Episode 1, cause the few cars that are present are moving slow and know to be looking out for pedestrians. Day is grabbed and directed by random strangers who are trying to help him and kind of just…drag him along until he is out of the street when he is visibly panicking and then just…left on the side of the road with an offhanded statement from strangers that he is “safe now” and they just…leave him alone and continue on their way. Even there, with a helpful touch, there is no safety or comfortability in Day’s posture, he is not calmed by hearing that he is safe. Which serves as a really great comparison point for how comfortable Day has pretty much always been with Mhok (minus the one moment of severe dysregulation after being surprised by his friends and then by Mhok when Day was buck ass naked). 

Especially when compared to the relief that just rushes through Day’s body when he and Mhok are reunited and they embrace. 

AND LIKE OKAY, CAN I GO ON A BRIEF TANGENT TO TALK ABOUT THE PINK SHIRT? 

gif by @tomystars

You know how in a lot of romances you get that moment where you get the like, love at first sight thing? Time slows down, one half of the romantic pair picks the other half of the romantic pair out of the crowd? WE GET THAT HERE, WITH THE BLIND CHARACTER BEING THE ONE WHO PICKS THE FUTURE LOVE INTEREST OUT OF THE CROWD. 

The pink shirt is brilliant, and I love how it both acts as an anchor point for Day who is able to calm down upon seeing it, and not panic or freak out when being grabbed and embraced by Mhok after having a decently traumatic experience with physical touch just minutes before while also reaffirming that Mhok is learning and internalizing the adaptations he needs to incorporate in to his own life to make Day’s daily life easier and more accessible. Mhok understands how Day’s vision functions, he remembers that Day has said he could see that shirt from Mars it’s so bright, and he provides an in for Day to maintain his autonomy by making it possible for Day to potentially see Mhok before Mhok sees Day. 

ANYWAY

@athousandbyeol

The embrace they share when Day and Mhok are reunited is not charged, is not romantic, at least not to me. But what it does show is how much care Day and Mhok have for each other, how quickly their friendship is developing, and the safe spaces these two will find in the other. Day calms so quickly the second he and Mhok are touching, as soon as he has an anchor. And he won’t let go of Mhok either. 

Aof and co have been playing well with dichotomies, here, a situation that pulls Day and Mhok physically apart ends up bringing them emotionally closer together. It is clear that Day does not blame Mhok for what happened, even if Mhok was gone much longer than anticipated, and that is affirmed by Day defending Mhok to his mother when she questions Mhok’s caretaking skills and holds his criminal record over his head. 

And, let’s not forget, this is just writing about the physical touch, this post does not discuss whether or not the lack of touch is important. I wrote a decent chunk of this in the airport without wifi, so I could only talk about physical touch from memory, I didn't rewatch anything like I normally do, so apologies if I missed stuff.

[sunnys-out]

I've loved you for so long (1) | Lucy Bronze

A/N: Hello! I haven't written in so long but here is something that I have been working on since the WC (she's a short one I know). I didn't post it earlier because I was moving and starting a new job but everything has calmed down and I had time to edit it. Please let me know what y'all think and hopefully, I can post the 2nd part soon! If you like my writing maybe through in a suggestion and I'll try my best! :D

Content: Angst, Fluff if you squint

{Word Count: 2004}

______________________________________________________________

I've loved you for so long

Oh, I'd forgotten how it feels

Feelings come back strong

'I've Loved You For So Long - The Aces'

Lucy and I had met, informally, in 2015 in Canada, we never played against each other in that World Cup but that didn’t stop us from bumping into each other at Tim Hortons. The couple of times that we ran into each other at the World Cup caused small conversations and laughs that left me wanting more. God, even just her smile left me wanting. 

I didn’t message her throughout our respective seasons right after the World Cup but sometimes I’d click on her Instagram profile and just scroll and see her thrive in Manchester City. Well I did drum up the courage to message once.

‘It’d probably be weird if I messaged her out of the blue right?... I mean it has been weeks  since Canada?’ I told myself as I lay on my small apartment couch in Portland.  

My thumb hovered over the send button with a slight tremble.

“Fuck it” My thumb harshly hit the screen and the quick ‘Wanted to say that you had an amazing tournament. Shame we never played against each other ♥️That goal against Canada was a banger meant to send that in Canada lol!”  message was delivered.

 I swear I threw my phone onto the other side of my couch and took a shower not expecting to see two notifications sent five minutes after me.

‘Lucy Bronze liked your message’

‘Lucy Bronze: ‘means a lot. Hope to see you again soon, miss world champion ⭐️⭐️⭐️’

I didn’t notice the smile growing as I looked at the notifications on the screen. I probably read it 20 times, setting the phone down on my coffee table and pacing the room debating whether I should respond or what I even should respond with. 

“Lucy is funny, maybe I can joke about how it’s been long or maybe just a ‘feeling is mutual’” I said aloud to myself.

‘Why am I getting worked up about this?” My hair is now messy by how many times I redid my ponytail pacing the room for 13 minutes. I kept procrastinating and just settled with getting ready for bed.

‘I’ll just respond tomorrow,’ I said, confidently,  plugging in my phone and placing it on my nightstand. That sentiment lasted about 2 minutes before I walked quickly back into my room picking up my phone, opening the message, and liking Lucy’s before responding. 

Y/N: I would love to see you again! I hope it's somewhere other than Tim Hortons even though I loved that place lol 🙂

My phone immediately locked as I got into bed and turned away from my phone. I closed my eyes tightly trying to go to sleep quickly so that in the rare probability that Lucy would continue the conversation, I could deal with it tomorrow morning, maybe ask Klingenburg for advice. Though she might scold me for fraternizing with the enemy, jokingly of course. Defenders knew other defenders right? Kling would find it funny that a right winger is flirting with a right back.

My thoughts were interrupted by one vibration and then two more in succession. My body slowly turned over to see my phone lit up still and then slowly dimming. My hand, subconsciously, went over, picked up my phone, and opened the messages seeing Lucy liking my message.

Lucy: Let me buy you a cup whenever you’re in Manchester; there are some cafes you’d like here.

Lucy: I would love to show you around 🙂 

I smiled at the messages and immediately replied without a second thought

Y/N: I will let you know because I do need a vacation 🥲

Y/N: And I would love to give you a tour of Portland, the coffee capital of the world. Worth it.

I stared at the messages until I saw a little heart appear on my last message. The little dots of a message incoming made me nervously tap the side of my phone. 

Lucy Bronze: I’ll take that as a promise 😉

Y/N: And I expect that cup of coffee in Manchester is a promise too ☺️

Lucy would only like the message and I would promptly go to sleep after waiting 15 minutes for a message that never came. I tried my best to not think about it but the feeling that came from reading her messages and the smile that would creep onto my face…I wouldn’t forget. 

Hayley Raso came into my life slowly after that. Glances turned to long stares. The lingering touches throughout practice became more than a pat on the back for a job well done. The smiles and laughs echoed off the walls of Providence Park as we walked to our cars until it was just to my car.

The weekly movie nights at my place turned into watching a show and cuddling together after practice for days on end. Another toothbrush appeared in the bathroom and suddenly my queen-sized bed wasn’t as empty. 

Mornings were met with a quick kiss, a hug from behind, and sweet nothings whispered in each other's ear.

Going to practice wasn’t done alone anymore and it was nice to have someone waiting on you if you had to stay behind to see the physio.

It was easy since we were both playing for Portland at the time and the team weren’t surprised when we told them.

 Little by little the Australian would appear in my Instagram photos and I in hers. 

The one that “broke the internet” was Hayley’s post of her kissing me on the cheek at the end of a game when the USWNT and Australia had a friendly. The one that sealed the deal for everyone was my Christmas post of photos of the party I had at my apartment. One, a particular one at the end, Hayley was in my lap while I kissed her. 

Something, however, nagged at me every time I saw a certain person's name pop up “Lucy Bronze liked your post” but I ignored it. I now know it was the feeling of the “what if” and “what could have been”. 

‘Did Lucy not want this with me? Maybe that’s why she never followed up. I probably said something to scare her away. Hayley didn’t run away’ I remember thinking to myself and as if on cue two arms snake their way around my waist. 

“Everything alright babe?” Hayley said into my back, I, immediately, felt my shoulders relax at the sound of Hayley’s voice.

I whispered, “I'm alright, just read some rude comments. You know how some people get”. I lied to Hayley; I was happy in our relationship and shouldn’t be wondering about the “what could have been” with someone that wasn’t her.  

Hayley would then go on to say that she’s told me to never look at the comments because when have the mean ones ever done something for us? She’d led me back to the bedroom to get ready for bed as we had an early practice but not after she promised to take my mind off the “negative comments”...it worked. 

______________________________________________________________

She Believes Cup March 6th, 2016, 

Lucy Bronze’s POV

We hadn’t played the United States in Canada which is a shame to not be able to play the future World Champions. Once, we had heard that we would be playing them in the She Believes Cup. I was excited for multiple reasons.

The US call up was released and I would be playing against (y/n). Since the World Cup, (Y/N) was making a name for herself as a strong right winger and playmaker for Portland and the National team.

On the pitch, she seemed cold and intimidating, but I met her as the complete opposite. 

I was able to just watch her tap her lip with her finger with her US cap on backward as she decided which pastry she wanted with her coffee at that Tim Hortons. She whistled quietly as she waited her turn and then adorably, fumbled through her order. Then humming to herself happily as she waited on the side with her warm croissant covered by a napkin.  

I was in awe of her. I had seen her play before and was always impressed by what I’d seen but never played against her. 

As I went up to order my own coffee and pastry I noticed her scrolling through her phone, laughing to herself. (y/n’s) eyes crinkle when she laughs or smiles really big. She hadn’t noticed me when I stood next to her, also waiting for my drink, there I took notice that she was at least three inches above me and that she sticks out her tongue when she is reading something. 

I breathed in and said loud enough for her to hear as she read, “I won’t tell your trainer if you don’t tell mine” I shook my little bag containing the coffee cake I had just ordered. I chuckled at the little jump she gave when she noticed me.

“Shit, sorry you scared me” a nervous laugh leaving her mouth

I extended my hand, “Sorry bout that. I’m Lucy, Lucy Bronze with England”  

She completed the handshake, “(y/n) (l/n) with the US…obviously” She pointed to her hat that had USA stitched on the back.

The conversation had good enough banter that we both remained at a table for about 2 hours talking about life and football. I could tell you that I fell for the way she looked at me with her gentle (y/e/c) eyes as she described the antics of her new golden retriever puppy named Chili she had adopted when she went to Portland.

I never really was intimidated or made nervous by any American player, especially on the pitch but watching her warm up with an icy cold expression during the She Believes Cup match made me question if the person I met at Tim Horton’s was the same person. 

I don’t think I was nervous but I lost count of how many times I would try to get a glimpse of her as she warmed up. Every time I did I’d feel the blush on my cheeks as I remembered the short text conversation that we had shortly after the World Cup. 

I regretted so much for not following up immediately; I got scared. If (y/n) asked me today why I didn’t respond, I wouldn’t have known what to say to be honest. Lack of courage was what Jill had told me as Jordan patted my back while reading the messages.  

The moment that I finally gained the courage to message (y/n) on Instagram to invite her to Manchester for a visit, was the day when I saw the picture of Hayley Raso kissing her cheek at a friendly. It was the first thing I saw when I opened the app to message her.

I remember my stomach dropping like the feeling when you don’t feel the bottom of a pool. 

I had it all planned in my head that she’d accept and I had a mini itinerary in my head of things she would’ve enjoyed and sightseeing spots. But the photo of her with her face buried in Hayley’s neck as she hugged her made the feeling worse.

Raso had beat me to (y/n) and she didn’t even know it. I kicked myself for not being brave. I would’ve had her in my arms sooner. I tell her all the time that I fell for her immediately and from meeting her I wanted more of her every passing day. 

Just seeing her across the field filled me with the tucked away feelings I had for her. I remember thinking…What I would have given to be there again talking about the most mundane things over coffee. Hearing her try her hardest to tell a joke but failing as she laughs remembering the punch line or even unconsciously speaking with an English accent when we spoke… God, I really loved her for so long.

[icyg4l]

PAC: How Can You Attract Your Lover: Queer Edition

Hello beautiful people! Today marks the last Friday that I will be posting for a while. However, I’ll still be here for the remainder of the weekend. If you would like to purchase a reading, please message me privately. Today’s reading is the last post regarding Pride Month. Thank you all for supporting me financially and content-wise. It is much appreciated. Without further ado, please select your pile.

Top Left-to-Bottom Right: (1-4)

Pile One: You’re not boring at all, Pile One. You are just very particular with the way that you want things. You may feel like your love life is an “abomination” right now but it’s not. You are fixed in your conviction of what love looks like for you. However, you need to open your eyes. Love will not find its way to you if you keep trying to manipulate the situation. Keep an open mind of what’s out there. Be open to flings and short-term romances. In my mind’s eye, I am seeing a butterfly open its wings, getting ready to fly. I heard the “Empire State Building”. If you have been thinking of taking a weekend trip to New York or New Orleans, then you should do so. You will meet someone there. This person has a Coca-Cola smile and piercing eyes waiting for you to arrive.

Who: This person is tall, not average tall either. They’re abnormally tall. They’re into anime/cartoons. They have distinctive features as well. They are fluent in French. This person could be into watching cooking shows/MTV. They are sensual and suave. They are intuitive, very in touch with themselves. They could wear a dangly earring. They could definitely live in New York or have an obsession with “The Big Apple”. They could have ties to the military. They are quick-moving. They like to flirt with others. They love to smoke, and they have an oral fixation.

Cards Used: The Tower, Five of Swords, Page of Wands, Judgment, The Star, Eight of Wands, Nine of Wands, Queen of Cups, Queen of Wands.

Pile Two: You need to stop being so uptight! Let loose and groove a little bit, Pile Two. You need to go out dancing with your friends. You will enjoy it there. You will meet someone there who catches your attention. They will be watching you from afar. I am seeing the Barbie movie dance scene, where everyone is having a good time until Barbie starts having an existential crisis. Your boredom is preventing you from seeing how good you really have it. You have the gift of gab so use it! It is also easy for you to manifest through the utilization of your physical body, if you know what I mean. So, if you wanna manifest using the ‘o’ method, DO IT!!! Start doing things that you would typically shy away from. Aim to step away from the crowd.

Who: This person is a little younger than you. They could be on the petite side. They have a cockiness to them that can’t be turned off. They could own a motorcycle. They have impulse issues/have ADHD/ADD. They like to do things quick and fast. They move and talk like they have somewhere to be. They could have long fingernails (stilettos, if acrylic). They could have some sort of connection to Cardi B/Left Eye. They have a dream where they’re the head of the spaceship; they want to pioneer a project. They are extra-terrestrial simply put.

Cards Used: Strength, Eight of Cups, The Sun, Four of Cups, Six of Pentacles, Three of Wands, Queen of Pentacles, The Empress, Eight of Wands, Page of Swords, Six of Wands.

Pile Three: It feels as though you are healing from a past heartbreak. Give yourself time to move past that situation, Pile Three. Sit in the discomfort. Trying to avoid it will not make the time pass by quicker. You need to lick your wounds. If anyone tries to artificially speed up your process of healing, do not hesitate to cut them off. You need to take this time of seclusion to sit with yourself and ask: “How can things be different the next time around”? Forgive yourself for allowing the mistreatment. You have a long road to go down on this journey of self-forgiveness babe. Hug yourself but also hold yourself accountable. You need to do some serious shadow work, Pile Three.

Who: They have a lot of tattoos. Their eyes are warm and dreamy. They have luscious hair. They could like the movie ‘Mean Girls’. They take a lot of pride in being your partner. They stand on business. They have a good relationship with their father. Dignity, pride, sensibility are words that come up to align them with. They have good manners. They could be kind of cold, at first but don’t judge a book by its cover. This person is drop dead gorgeous, no matter what their gender is. They have a tender heart. They like to move with a purpose. They are calculated, and value their time and money. This person is marriage material.

Cards Used: Seven of Swords, The Chariot, The High Priestess, The Devil, The Emperor, Ten of Swords, King of Cups, Knight of Swords, Knight of Cups, Two of Cups, King of Pentacles, King of Swords.

Pile Four: I can tell that you just need a break, Pile Four. You need to go and move on from whatever has been affecting you negatively (emphasis on the has been). Let bygones be bygones. Air out your grievances. You will feel much lighter. Send that text message you’ve been meaning to send. Reconcile with that person you’ve been pondering on letting back in. There’s dead weight on you. Let it go. You would benefit a lot from twerking/whining/moving your hips. Let it all out. Even if you do something you regret, so what? We’re all human. Just live your life, babe.

Who: This is someone you have a spiritual connection with. It could be karmic. This person is not naive. They know a lot about religion or spirituality. They are big on tradition. They want marriage; a traditional wedding to be exact. They could be going through a time of abstinence right now. They have a masculine flair to them. This person could have multiple ear piercings and/or an eyebrow piercing. They are intimidating, but they are fun to be around once you get to know them. This person is well-respected and adored by many. They are psychic, and proud of it. And, they take their job seriously.

Cards Used: Eight of Cups, Queen of Cups, The Sun, The Empress, Knight of Wands, Page of Pentacles, The High Priestess, King of Wands, The Hierophant.

[thetxtdevil]

Royal Guard pt. 1

Taehyun x Reader

Inspired by the author @page-matcha

Royal!fem!reader touching herself late at night in her personal chambers while guard!taehyun stands outside her door at his post hearing every single noise you let out. But he's forced to stay outside and stay in his spot.

this was just so good that i had to write something.

content: smutty, royal!fem!reader, guard!taehyun, female masturbation, slight perv tae, my grammar and spelling has left the building a long time ago…

word count: 1.5k

you were the most exquisite maiden of the palace. effortlessly wearing the tightest corset with the most intricate embroidery and gowns that swayed with every move you made. you had people's heads turning, girls wanted to be you, men wanted you. being the kingdom's only princess was the cherry on top. however, with the outmost beauty you had, it left people astonished with your lack of husband even lack of courting.

spending time with your friends in the garden next to the palace. they were chatty and you found it entertaining.

"ooo he's cute." one of your friends points out a gentlemen.

the others giggle and agree while you smile at him but ignore the opportunity.

"ugh come on y/n you have to be interested in someone"

"you cannot force love it just has to happen" you say calmly as your eye up a batch of tulips.

your friends roll their eyes and they continue to look at bachelors. you were pretty but you were also smart. you are not going to settle with a simple man you had to find the perfect one. as a princess you were also a romantic and needed some romance in your life.

having enough of the hot sun and your loud friends you retire to the castle. a few maids surround you, one giving you water to drink, the other patting down a cool towel on you. your eye then catches a familiar face, a guard that the queen, your mother, tends to trust the most. he looked like he had a mission to get somewhere and wanting to know where your mother is you rushed to him after thanking the maids. you pick up your floor length gown so you could speed walk to the guard.

"excuse me"

the guard instantly stops and turns to you.

"yes you majesty"

surprised by his quickness and his great features you struggle to remember what you were about to ask.

"if you're wondering about the queen's whereabouts she is in the library, please don't mind my assumptions"

you smile lightly to him "i was wondering that"

"i was about to go there, would you like me to escort you?" the guard says while sticking his arm out for you to hold onto

"yes, i would like that very much" you smile at him again "and remind me your name"

"i am lieutenant general taehyun your majesty"

as you both arrive the library taehyun opens the door for you. you thank him before you were greeted by your queen mother's presence. you walk towards her.

"nice to see my beautiful tulip, grab a book a read with me"

you gladly do as she says and start looking for a novel. the cathedral windows light up the tall shelves of books, twirling around you settle on one area. looking closely at the titles of the books, you set your eye on one. reaching up to grab it you find your height betrays you. next thing you know a hand reaches high than yours to grab the spine of the book.

you look over at your hero which turns out to be taehyun. "thank you"

"you're welcome princess, my i say you picked a good book"

"that's good to hear, it look interesting"

you look up at the man who's looking at you with such warmth. you can't help but get lost in his big brown eyes. butterflies start to flutter in your stomach. you mother glances from her book to see you and her trusted guard. she smirks to herself keeping her thoughts to self and continues reading.

taehyun's puppy eyes suddenly turn into a stone-cold gaze as he realizes he was staring at the princess for an inappropriate amount of time.

"enjoy your book my princess" he says bowing to you

you head towards the lounge chairs you mother was laying on. every now and then you would glance at the guard feeling those butterflies again.

"i have an event in the palace tonight, would you like to join?"

you look over at your mother sighing. you go to so many events as your duty being a princess it can get tiring.

"I would like to politely decline"

besides your mind had other things to do tonight. you mother softly pinches your cheek as she smiles at you accepting your decline.

---

the sun was setting from your library day with your queen mother. you have parted ways a long time ago to do your own things. your mother was looking over what has already been prepared for the event of the night. as she straighten out the fabrics upon the table an idea pops into her head.

raising her hand for a guard to come she says "can you bring lieutenant general taehyun to me"

taehyun was outside the palace yard looking over the horses, testing their fitness and skills. he notices a fellow guard rushing to him.

"the queen summons thee"

guard taehyun rushes through the dimly lit castle halls. he finally gets to the ballroom being used tonight. the queen was talking to the maids and butler as she gets a glimpse of the guard.

"your highness"

"hello taehyun, I have an assignment for you tonight"

"yes your highness, anything I will do for you"

"can you be princess y/n's chamber guard tonight?"

taehyun gulps, he was about to question his presense on the event but decides to settle the conversation.

"will do, your highness" he bows and starts towards your chamer.

---

as he arrives the current guard informs him that you had just finished your bath. taehyun then tells the guard that their duty is now to look over the ballroom. your chamber doors are open wide revealing to taehyun the beautiful architecture of your room. wide windows that look over the kingdom one side and a big lake on the other side. your bed was in the middle with purple silk sheets and pastel color drapes encapsulating it.

you walk out with a towel in your hand drying your hair. you gasp as you see a man in your room but relax when you see it was the very handsome guard taehyun.

"sorry to scare you, your majesty, i am your guard tonight"

"oh" you say shyly

"is there something wrong?"

"no, i was just hoping to have alone time tonight"

"do not worry about me your majesty i will be just outside your chamber doors

you nod at him with a small smile. taehyun stares at you, admiring the silk slip you're wearing that matched your bedding. he straighten his posture when he caught himself glancing at the curves of your breasts. he bows to you and walks outside the chamber hiding from your sight but still within range.

you blush at the guards lingering gazes. once he was out of sight you threw your towel and fall down on your bed. you felt relaxed not having to worry about being a proper princess at the moment. fully getting into bed you open your book and start reading it, but as you're reading the feeling of butterflies keep filling your stomach. you can't help but imagine guard taehyun's handsome features being close to you again. letting those big veiny hands roam your pristine body.

you let your hand caress your breast you lean your head back on your plush pillows. your book forgotten, you let your hand fill up your sore breast from the very tight corset making a few soft sighs leave your lips. your legs were rubbing together trying to create friction on your soaking heat. you slide your dominate hand down to your already bare cunt. middle finger slipping against your folds making you sigh once more.

taehyun was a vigilant guard watching over every atom outside your personal chamber, but then he hears a small noise. he dismisses the fact until he hears it again, he walks across the rooms door trying to see if anyone is around the corner, but there was no one. as he gets back to his post he glances into your room. there he sees the most unholy sight of your pretty thighs spread apart showing off your fucked out face, your breasts bouncing from you fucking yourself with your fingers.

it takes a lot out of tae to stop himself from going into your chambers and replacing your small digits with his. with his greatest strength he goes back to his guarding spot.

there he stands there listening to every moan, whine, and whimper coming out of your pretty lips.

there he stands getting uncomfortably hard against his suit. forced to stay outside, forced to stay loyal and protective.

read -> pt. 2

A nuisance,

TxT's Devil + @page-matcha

[james-is-here]

I've had this idea for three months and it took so long to put into words because I was trying to come up with...not lyrics so to speak but what I think it feels like in a position like this.

Zombie Au? There's an infection and it's spreading but it's not necessarily zombies. Felix is your little brother.

Blogs: @belladonna6-6-6 @heartbinn @leezanetheofficial I genuinely forgot who else wanted tagged, please let me know again if you want to know when I post

Tags: Death, angst, you might cry (I genuinely cried), I'm so sorry if you cry 🥺, blood, kn1fe, Felix being the precious soul he is even in a dire situation, lots of crying, th-the use of st-stuttering since i've once read that the stuttering is annoying so I'm just warning. LMK if I forgot anything.

You ran and ran, hand tight around your brothers as you keep looking back to make sure he's still keeping up with you and also look out behind the both of you.

You shouldn't be outside at night but your original camp was surrounded by the creatures, slimy, gross, deformed creatures which use to be human beings. It was dusk, barely enough light to see where you're going.

The slow ones were called draggers, the fast ones were called runners, three runners were currently chasing you and your brother. You look back in front of you to find a couple draggers and skid to a stop, running to your left but you went to fast and Felix tripped, loosing the grip on your hand and falling to the ground with a grunt before shuffling back to his feet and catching up to you, taking your hand again.

His fumble unintentionally let the runners catch up to you both as you pant heavily. You still don't know where you're running, the road you're on unfamiliar as you run past buildings after buildings.

You suddenly hear a high pitched whistle and look ahead to your left, a person waving you over to an abandoned convenience store, they wear some sort of head cover that they seem to wear to blend in with the monsters but you saw their eyes and the fact that they were waving you over. You're quick to run over to them but suddenly your hand is empty again.

Turning around, you weren't expecting to see a dragger on your brothers foot. "Felix!" You dash over to him, kicking the dragger in the head before picking your brother up and running into the store.

You set Felix down, cradling his face and looking over him to make sure he's okay. "You guys okay?" The person- or the man- took his head over off and you see someone around you and Felix's age. "Yeah...Yeah, I think we're good. Thank you." "No problem. I'm Chris." "I'm Mn, this is my little brother, Felix." "It's nice to see a few new faces. Come on, there's a few more of us in the staff room."

The other survivors you met were really nice, they were friends of Chris'. Minho, Changbin, and Seungmin. They all lost someone to the infection.

Minho lost his lover, Jisung.

Changbin lost his best friend, Hyunjin.

Seungmin lost his little brother, Jeongin.

and Chris lost his wife and daughter.

You and Felix lost your whole family, you only had each other.

You both were currently on the floor in front of a fire Chris made, everyone else either somewhere in the store. Felix was curled up in your arms between your legs, one leg extended and the other you had your knee up the Felix leaned back on, your body was like his own little bubble, his comfort as your arms were secured around him and you just stared at the dancing flames in front of you.

He shifts, burying his face further into your neck as he slept but slowly he began whimpering and shifting, squirming in your hold as he tried to bury further into your neck. "Felix, bubs, wake up." You rub his arm gently, trying to wake him up and you know he's awake when he moves to face you, you move your legs to hold him properly in your lap as he cries on your shoulder. "Felix..." "I'm so scared, Mn..." "I know...I-I am too." "N-No, I-I'm scared of being in here..." "Wha- Lix, What do you mean?"

He sniffs, moving off your lap to rest his leg on your lap and pull up his pant leg. "No-" The tears hit you fast as you sob and gently graze your finger over the wound. "Th-The Dragger g-got me...I-I'm s-sorry, Mn. I-I'm so s-scared." He's started sobbing now and you just bring him into your arms, holding him tight. "I-I'm sorry..." You shush him, gently rubbing his back. "I-It'll be o-okay, Lixie." You bury your face in his shoulder and hold him tightly. "I-It'll be okay..." If you were reassuring him or yourself, you couldn't say.

Although, someone over heard you, and they were happy that an infected was now in their safe space.

In the stillness of the night, I hold you tight.

As time slips away, fading out of sight.

Every beat of your heart, a whispered plea.

Begging for salvation that I cannot decree.

There was one night, or day, you don't even know the date anymore, that you all gathered near the fire ring, conversing about anything and everything. Chris was telling stories of his family and Changbin told stories about him and Hyunjin, it hurt to learn that Changbin loved Hyunjin but never got the chance to tell him until Hyunjin got infected.

You and Felix were sitting on one of the break room tables, you could tell he's getting weaker, he was getting more tired and he didn't have as much energy anymore.

"I'm sorry...I have to say something before we're all dead." Minho suddenly spoke up and stood up, pulling a knife from the counter. "Woah, hey, Minho! What are you doing?!" "There's a runner or dragger here and I need to take care of it before we're all dead."

Your protective instincts gave it away as you stood and stepped in front of Felix. "Mn?" Seungmin questions your sudden shift before standing up, watching you protect the boy. "Minho, please..." "You really expect that'd change my mind?! Come on, wouldn't any of you want to kill the infected before it took your loved ones?" "Minho, this is my brother, my baby brother, he's all I have left, Please." "You'll end up loosing him." "But I still have him! I still have him now! I don't- I don't want to loose him yet, I-I just can't." You cry, turning towards Felix and cradling his face, gently shushing him as he sobbed, holding onto your wrists as he placed his forehead on yours.

He's muttering that he's scared, that he doesn't want to go, that he doesn't want to leave you and it hurts you even more, leaning back to kiss his forehead before returning to your previous spot.

Suddenly there's hands on your biceps, pulling you away from the boy and you sobbed, begging that this doesn't happen, trying to pull out of Chris' hold but he's stronger than you in the moment. "No, No P-Please! Please, just a little longer please!" Chris pulls you to the back wall of the break room, you try to pull your arms out and run to your brother but suddenly Changbin and Seungmin are holding you in place by your shoulders, keeping you from escaping Chris' hold. You struggle against them as Felix limps backwards away from Minho before falling to the floor.

"I-I'm sorry, Felix..." Minho stutters before driving the blade into his stomach. "No!!" You choke, watching Minho do it a couple more times before dropping the blade and stepping back. "Felix!"

They finally let you go and you dash over to your brother, kneeling next to him and bringing him into your hold, placing a hand on his heart and sobbing heavily. Every other beat is strong but the in between beats are slow and barely there.

"Felix, No..." He sobs, tilting his head into you and you lean further down to connect your foreheads. "I'm scared, Mn..." "I know...I know, bubs, I'm so sorry..."

Your breath grows faint, a fragile sigh,

Yet in your eyes, a fire refuses to die.

I'd trade my every breath to keep you here,

But destiny's grip, I cannot interfere.

His chest begins to rise and sink slowly, but when you lean back to look at his eyes, they almost look alive still, wide and looking up at you the usual way he looked at you, like you were the most amazing guy in the world. He always looked up to you, he loved you as his big brother.

"I-I wish I c-could take your place...give you all that I have. I w-wish you didn't have to go th-through this, Lixie...I-I'm such a terrible brother, I-I'm so sorry." You place a slightly bloody hand on his cheek and wipe his tears away. "Y-You're wrong-" "Ssh, save your breath." He chuckles weakly. "Ironic." His eyes glance down to his stomach where his shaking, bloody hands rest.

Through every gasp, I whisper tales of our past,

Each memory a lifeline, meant to last.

Though time may steal your earthly form away,

Our love's immortal flame will forever stay.

"You'll be with Mama...a-and L-Livy...a-and Rach..." "B-But th-they w-were turned..." "No, that's- That's not them...they're somewhere b-better..."

You move a few strands of hair out of his face and reach down to hold his hand. You don't care about the blood anymore.

"I-I don't w-want you to g-go, Bubs...Y-You belong h-here." "I-It w-would've h-happened...s-sooner or l-later." He inhales shakily, squeezing your hand. "I'm n-not r-really l-leaving." "What do you mean?" He raised a hand slowly and pointed at your chest. "I-I'll b-be here...y-you'll always l-love me, Nn. I-I'll a-always be here..."

I'm here by your side, my love, don't fear,

In the darkness, I'll be your light, my dear.

Though I cannot save you from fate's cruel art,

I'll stay with you, till the last, never apart.

"I-I don't want to leave you now...D-Dying is s-scary, I-I'm s-so s-scared." "It's gonna be okay...I'm gonna be here with you, it's okay. It's okay..."

You stayed the whole time, rubbing your thumb back and forth on the back of his hand and occasionally kissing his forehead. "I-I wish I could've s-saved you. I-I wish th-this didn't have to happen, I-I'm so sorry, Felix..."

You were gonna stay until his last breath.

As your eyes meet mine, in the final gaze,

I'll be the guardian of our love's eternal blaze.

Though you depart from this world's embrace,

You'll find me waiting in love's timeless space.

You had your eyes closed the whole time, you couldn't handle seeing him the way he was but you finally open them, Felix should see you before he goes.

"I-It'll b-be okay, Nn." He raised a hand to the side of your face and you held it tight. "Stop fighting it, Lix. I-I know you are, it's okay. I'm here, y-you're safe. S-Say h-hi to th-the girls and Mum if you see th-them...a-and l-let me know y-your with me every- every once in a while, mkay?" "I-I will a-and t-take m-my locket..." "Lixie..." You choke out as your eyes remain locked and you watch the light fade, his eyes filled with tears and his hand goes limp. "Lix..." You sob with a whine as the others finally kneel by you.

"I'm really sorry, Mn..." You were silent, sobbing over your brother. "Mn, we should move him." You sniff, moving a shaky hand to his neck and Minho gently helped you unclasp the locket, you clutch it in your fist before you leave a final kiss to his forehead and close his eyes. "Okay." You say softly, barely above a whisper.

You pick him up and turn to the other guys. "I-I can't...I-I don't have the strength to just l-leave him somewhere." "I'll take him for you..." Minho offers with his lips pressed together in a soft, apologetic smile. "I-I happen to know a nice area nearby so he won't just be out in the open." "Thank you..." His eyes widen at your words, he just killed your brother, why are you thanking him?

"Wh-When it got worse, I-I don't think I-I'd h-have the strength to actually l-let him go..." He hums in reply and steps up to you, letting you place Felix in his arms before he walks away. "Wait!" Minho turns around and you walk over to him, taking Felix's bracelets, putting them on, and any other items he had on him. You also snatch the pocket knife you saw from a nearby table and cut a part of his hoodie off, the only light blue part of his sleeve that wasn't covered in blood, and put it in your pocket, saving it to make something later. "Thanks." Minho nods before walking away again.

It's lucky the convenience store still has running water as you move to wash off the blood. "Hey, found the clothing section for you." Chris announces, placing a hoodie and jeans on the counter next to you. "In a convenience store?" "Well, from the thrift store next door." "Light Blue?" "Had a feeling...if that's okay?" Tears gather on your lash line before you nod and extend an arm. With Chris' small nod and a gentle smile, he lets you hug him tightly.

"I'm surprised you're not mad at us." Seungmin commented and Changbin slapped his arm. "I-I'm actually grateful...Yeah, you let my brother...b-but it was a necessary thing to do...I-I wouldn't have had the strength to do it my-myself when i-it got worse."

"I'm back." You leave Chris' embrace and turn to Minho. "Thank you...again." "It's no problem...Sorry I got a bit angry before." "It was understandable. Now if you don't mind, the state of my clothes is making me want to cry again so I'm gonna change."

"We'll be out here." Chris said as you walked to the bathroom with the clothes he got you.

When the door closed, Chris turned to the others. "Him thanking us for killing his brother is weird right?" "A little but it makes sense. Were you watching back there? He held his to his final breath. I could tell he wouldn't have been able to let him go if the infection got worse."

"How'd you know?" "Saw them a couple nights ago, Felix showed him the bite on his ankle from the dragger that attacked him before they came in here. I could see him changing and didn't want Mn to keep him to the point of turning into one of those and attacking us." "Did it hurt?" Changbin asked.

"So much. He looked as precious and kind, I really didn't but I was protecting us." You then walk out of the bathroom, throwing your old clothes into a nearby empty box. "Can I hug you, Minho?" "Uh, yeah, sure." He asks hesitantly and you walk over to him, wrapping your arms around his back and shoulders as he did the same to you.

"Thank you-" "Stop thanking me for killing your brother, it's kinda weird." You laugh, pulling away and joining the others on the floor. "Was gonna say thank you for protecting us...although I was against it...what you did makes sense...as much as I want to hate you for killing him you did it to protect us so...guess that skims off some of the hate." "Some?" He looks at you bewildered and the rest of you laugh.

"You killed my brother, you expect there to not be at least a little hate?" "Yeah, but you said some which means there's more hate then gratitude." While you and Minho went back and forth, the other three watch small smiles.

Even in a world of chaos, there's still time to find joy.

😭 I'm sorry if this made you cry and also I wrote this in like three hours it was like 1:20am when I started and now it's 3:41am so I'ma go to bed.

The angst is angsting 😩

His locket had a picture of your family on one side, and him and you together on the other.

[athanasius-symposium-of-writings]

Ooo, if your alright doing so, could you be able to make a one shot of that blind reader x Norton 👀 Feel like if Norton was capable he’d use their blindness to his advantage on flustering/teasing them. The drama would be interesting lol!

sorry anon wrote suffering and fool's gold not being normal

Rated Mature | Warnings: dubcon, not the best relationship

Tried to keep the original ask of this being a male based reader (though it can be read as gn)

The difficulty comes from the hunter version of Campbell, Fool's Gold hyper focusing on you rather than getting rid of the survivor version of himself. No, he rather have you stumbling to set you traps, to recover when he hits you.

Toying with you, he chaired that nurse and the professor to get them out of the way. Norton is too far away by now to get to you.

Plus this is Golden Cave, knowing himself, Norton is likely having a breakdown, heh.

“Let go!” You kick the air as he strings you up with the balloons, struggling to escape. He drops you somewhere within the cave.

“Pity we have to be quick about this, darling.”

Fool's Gold is obsessed with you, the matches you've had with him have always ended with you struggling to escape or having to cipher while Mercenary or Batter get his attention (having to up their game to achieve this). Norton has been trying all this time, but he knows himself.

Once he has you isolated, he grins like a cat that got the cream.

You struggle as he pins you down on the ground with a pickaxe, the large handle pinning you down as the pickaxe itself digs into your shoulder. Painful, greatly, but the panic of the large ore of a man opening your legs is at the forefront of your mind.

It is no secret that the prospector and yourself are sort of a complex item. Very complex, as he is the one who caused your blindness— This blindness that gifted you this strange ability to pick out the sound of certain materials, rocks like gold or diamonds to name the popular ones.

Being a miner is all you know, you swore to kill Norton Campbell.

Now you both are fighting to stay alive in this manor's games.

Fool's Gold laughs at the way you resist him on the pure fact of embarrassment, touching you through your worn denim pants, his solidified hand between your legs.

Up and down with two fingers.

“How long will it take for you to cum like this, hm?”

You growl at those words, “Fuck off!” Choking on those words when feel him applying more pressure.

“Oh, I will. Soon.” licking your cheek, “Next time, I am going to ram my cock deep into your—” He stops when something attaches itself to the back of his upper torso. The Hunter looks behind him as he pulls the pickaxe out of your bleeding shoulder. “You lil’ shit.”

A heavy-breathing Norton standing behind with the other magnet in his hand, his eyes glaring a million daggers at himself.

Fool's Gold is suddenly pulled forward into a crate while Norton grabs you and puts you over his shoulder.

The match ended in a draw.

The post-match argument does not happen this time, it is the second time Fool's Gold has shown he will go out of his way to get you. You figure it is because he is essentially Norton, just unhinged or something. And, clearly, has no problem in taking what he wants from you.

“How long?” Nurse left when Norton showed up in your room. Dark and brooding. You sit on the bed with no shirt on, chest exposed. Like him, you are covered with scars from the blast, and worse is the section of your eyes. The skin never healed properly and most days you are grateful not to see what makes people gasp when they see you without your partial mask.

“Two months into the job.” The door is closed and locked behind him, “You cared.” He starts removing his shirt, you hear it then tilt your head up when you can smell him. His hand touched the side of your face that wasn't too ruined by the explosion.

“Your standards are that low, Campbell?” Teasing him.

“If mine are low, yours must be in the ground.”

You click your tongue annoyed, you pull him forward by grabbing him by the waistband of his pants and falling backward to bring him down with you.

[e-vay]

Evay QA Bulk Post 4

Here's another roundup of questions! I'm sorry if you don't see your question answered here. I tried answering as many as I could handle. Thank you all for reaching out :)

PERSONAL ASKS

Anon asked: I don’t know if this is too personal or not, but if you feel comfortable sharing, what prompted you to make a return after not posting at all for about 3 years?

A: That's okay, I don't mind you asking. To be honest, I just suffered from art block for a very long time. I couldn't get myself to draw no matter how hard I tried. I would sit myself down and try to force myself to do it, but I just couldn't. I don't know why it went away and I don't know why it came back, but suddenly my spark came back with a vengeance! I'm back to wanting to draw all the time! I think that's both the wonderful and awful thing about creativity: you can't force it. It sucks, but hopefully I can serve as proof to others who are going through it that you can spring back from it.

Anon asked: Hi E-vay! I couldn't help but notice a few Coraline references in some of your art work, are you a fan of the film too? By the way, Sonamy 4 eva!!

A: Yes I LOVE Coraline! I never read the book but I love the movie. It fills my spooky little heart and soul!

sonicalover1345 asked: Hey, quick question have you watched Hazbin Hotel Prime video? If you have what is or are your favorite characters?

A: I haven't yet! Honestly when the pilot first came out years ago, I didn't care for it. (I love Helluva Boss, did not care for Hazbin Hotel). But I've heard a million people recommending the series and I've heard the songs because of Tiktok and a lot of the songs sound great, so I have been meaning to check it out.

Anon asked: What is your favourite Tim burton movie? 🖤

A: I want to say Nightmare Before Christmas, but to be completely honest it's probably Mars Attacks! It's so campy and funny and it has that retro horror sci-fi film feel to it, and the cast rocks. It checks all the boxes for me. I even have a Mars Attacks! print hung up at my office at work:

wind-upbaby14 asked: Just curious but what happened to that hell hath series you made and why did you stop?

A: I went through a severe art block and hadn't drawn anything for a long time, even though I had the whole script for it written out. However since getting my mojo back, I've completely re-written the story and am working on it again. You'll see more of HHNF soon and I'm certain you'll like it better than it was meant to be originally!

Anon asked: I’m unsure if you’ve been asked this before, feel free to ignore if so but would you ever consider opening a Patreon? Y’know for earlier access and possibly spicy art🤔?

A: I did have a Patreon once upon a time, but it gave me severe imposter syndrome lol It put too much pressure on me to put out content that I thought was worthy enough for people to be paying for, so I ultimately closed it down. It doesn't mean I won't ever open it up again, but I don't have any immediate plans to do that. Also regarding the spice haha 😅 I appreciate your interest, but I just don't like to share that kind of content.

milangakokoros asked: I know you like sailor moon, I remember that you published a drawing that you did in 2007 somewhere, of Aurora sailor moon version. What other animes do you like? have you seen saint seiya? (it's my current hyperfixation)

A: I don't watch much anime anymore, but I used to be obsessed with Naruto. That's primarily what I would draw back in my dA days, but I lost interest in it a long time ago. I also loved Fruits Basket, Kill La Kill, One Punch Man and Attack on Titan. There are other shows I've watched, but those were the major series. I haven't seen the series you mentioned, sorry!

milangakokoros asked: Have you thought about making more games like the one you made on Halloween?

A: Absolutely! I don't know what the next game will be, but I definitely want to make more!

prophecyhyper asked: Do you post any of your drawings on any other sites?

A: I sometimes post my art on my Instagram and I sometimes post timelapses of my drawings on Tiktok, but I mostly post here on Tumblr!

aviles2003 asked: I've been meaning to ask you this about adaptations, what is your only favorite Video Game Movie you wanna see, already watched, and excited to see? (Sonic the Hedgehog Movies, The Super Mario Bros Movie, Detective Pikachu, Or Five Nights at Freddy's?)

A: So far my favorite game-movie adaptation is the Super Mario Bros movie! I love it so much! I love that they kept the style of the game but made it a little more polished than what you'd get in the games. I loved the characters, I loved all the references within it, I loved the music. I just think it's a perfect adaptation. Of course I'm super excited for Sonic 3! I'm sure it's going to be great, I'm just praying that Amy will be in it! I need her in it :( I'd love to see a movie adaptation of Dead Space. That's one of my favorite games and ooh I think it'd make such a good horror film. I know they made animated movies for it, but I want it done in a proper hollywood horror way!

edwinflores428 asked: E-vay, since you're also a Beatles enjoyer, did you hear the new Beatles song 'Now and Then'?

A: I didn't know about this until you mentioned this in my inbox. Wow that was emotional! I can't believe they were able to make a song out of an old unreleased recording and really get to finally get closure for their band in a way. Just incredible!

Anon asked: hey, i logged in after a long time and i was just happy to see you’re still posting. i’ve been following since the deviantart days and i just wanted to say how much i enjoy your art. it has always brought me a lot of joy :)

A: This isn't an ask, but I wanted to include it just so I could tell those of you who send these kinds of messages to my inbox: Thank you ❤️ I don't know if you all realize how much it means to me to have your support. Whether you're new to my work or whether you've followed me since my deviantART days, it absolutely makes my day when I receive these kind of wonderful, positive messages. My only wish is that you didn't feel you needed to write me anonymously so I could thank you personally! But I'll respect your privacy ❤️ From the bottom of my heart, thank you!

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MISC SONIC ASKS

Anon asked: I was wondering what your favourite brotherly head cannon would be between Sonic and Tails? :3

A: Even though Sonic's older and technically raised Tails, I love the idea of them sort of "raising each other." Sonic teaches Tails how to defend himself, how to navigate the world, how to do the right thing, but Tails is the one who teaches Sonic how to read and write, introduces him to philosophical discussions that Sonic finds really boring but actually helps him to be a better hero and be a better version of himself. I even like the idea of Tails being the one to teach Sonic how to play music. Sonic has a natural talent for it, but Tails is the one to teach him notes and chords, how to actually read sheet music, things like that.

umbrathehedgehog asked: Hey, I noticed that one piece about Sonic Prime. It's very nice! What did you like or not like about the show? Been seeing a lot of differing opinions on it and I'm really curious about what you thought!

A: Thanks so much! As a whole I'd say it was okay. It certainly wasn't the best Sonic media out there in my opinion but no way was it the worst. I understand it's a kid's show, but it was way too formulaic for me. It got to the point where I could pretty much bet "in 2 minutes Character A is going to seem like all is lost, then a loud explosion/sudden shake will happen, and they'll look up like 'whuAHHH???' and Character B will show up to help." That's fine, but not when it's happening multiple times every single episode. So to be honest, it wasn't a show that I looked forward to watching like I did with Sonic Boom. It was just something I had on because it was Sonic-related. But Sonic Prime had a lot of good character writing and the acting was great. They explored character relationships/dynamics and emotions that some other Sonic content hasn't done before, so I applaud them for that. It's mirroring what happened in Sonic Frontiers and I love that the franchise is willing to dig a little deeper on an emotional level like that. And I've said it before but I'll say it a million times more: Shadow was PERFECT! The positive of having Shadow portrayed so excellently far outweighed any negatives I could say for the show!

chrismantike asked: What’re your thoughts on longclaw (the owl from the sonic movie) does she exist in your AU as Sonic’s mom?

A: Well we didn't get to see very much of her, but I loved her design! She was very majestic and beautiful and kind. None of the characters or storyline from the live action movies are part of my AU.

-

MY OCs/AU ASKS

Anon asked: So when’s did aurora learn that she could turn invisible? And did she use it to pull a prank on her parents making them think she disappeared

A: Aurora discovers her light abilities when she's young (think about preteen age), but she doesn't fully know what all she can do yet. It takes a lot of experimenting and studying with Uncle Tails to figure out everything she can do. He is the one who tells her that if she can bend light, she should be able to use it to cloak herself. Tails and Sonic obviously mean she should use it as a defensive move, but Aurora instantly thinks it's the perfect power for pranks! Picture a lot of objects "floating" around the house with a lot of phony "OooooOOoooOOOO" ghost noises haha

Anon asked: Is aurora a comic book fan? If so what’s her favorite series

A: Aurora can enjoy super hero related stuff, but she's not an avid fan of it and I would say she does not read comics. Aurora is more into fantasy/romance books. Ruff is the one who is into comic books :) His favorite would be Batman.

Anon asked: I love your idea of Aurora and Sage being close friends, I really think that fits! That being said, do you think Sage and CC would get along?

and gale-gentlepenguin asked: I’m curious on how Sage would interact with Aurora and CC? I know it would probably be seperate universes but it would be fun to see how Eggman’s daughter reacts to Sonics daughter and a sentient AI of equal intellect

A: Thank you! I've been thinking about it and I like the idea of Sage and CC being rivals, but in a very cheeky, friendly way. Sort of like Sonic and Knuckles. Sage and CC would make everything into a competition to see who can solve this problem fastest or who can simulate something best, to determine who is truly the more intelligent of the two AIs. But again, not in a toxic way. In a "I have to be the best version of myself in order to beat you because the respect I have for you is insanely high" kind of way. And Sage could playfully tease CC for wanting to become organic because it'd be a "step backwards" in her evolution, but really she'd work to find a way to help make CC's dream come true.

antooogamer asked: Hello, I already know why Diamond is white and Boon's color is for Aurora, but now I have a question about Cinder, why is he Orange? :^

A: Orange is in the same color family as red and pink, so I think it still works. As far as color theory, in my AU Aurora has a grandma who is yellow and Shadow's fur includes red, so by blending those colors you can get orange. It's the same reason why Nova is purple, it's a blend of colors from their lineage. I tried Cinder out in several different colors but orange is ultimately what fit him best.

animefan299110 asked: After seeing your artwork of Sage and Aurora interacting, I got to ask: Do they hang out a lot or is Sage like a cousin/big sister who visits all the time?

A: They're more like best friends than sisters/cousins. I know people draw Sage growing older and stuff but I personally headcanon that she'd stay in the form of a child because she feels no need to grow up. But once she's friends with Aurora, then I could see her "aging" up alongside Aurora so that she always matches her friend. It's just a headcanon of mine for now and that could ultimately change in the future.

Anon asked: Has Aurora ever been to space before if so what were her thoughts. Was she like markiplier with the whole space is so cool song.

A: Aurora DESPERATELY wants to go to space more than anything! But for most of her life she hardly ever left her home. It isn't until she's grown up that she actually starts to properly explore the world. Eventually I want her to go to space, but it would be once she's living on her own.

skywriter97 asked: So I saw this one fanart comic (that I can't remember the name of) forever ago and in it Shadow had his emblem tattooed on his arm and it made me wonder (since you the best Sonic fan artist hands down no contest) does Sonamy/Shadora (or any of your characters kn your Au) have any tats or piercings anywhere? If so, what and where? (If the fur doesn't get in the way for them lol) (Votes go to Shadow being a tatted and pierced edgelord cuz that would be so 🔥🔥🔥👌👌👌😍🤩😍🤩🤩😍🥵🥵🤤🤤🤌🤌🤌)

A: You are just so sweet, thank you! You know I'm very pro tats and I love seeing what people think the different Sonic characters would get. For my AU, I only have two (technically three) characters depicted with tattoos. Amy's dad Clay Rose has two tattoos on his bicep: A heart with his wife's name in it, and then a matching little heart with Amy's name in it. Adult Knuckles has a simple "M.E." tattooed on his bicep. It's a reference to Knuckles' theme and also his dedication to the Master Emerald. Lastly, I have the human version of Cinder (but only the human version) with forearm sleeves that continue down his hands. So far those are the only characters I have with tattoos. As far as piercings, most of my characters have ear piercings but they don't often wear earrings. Blitz and Lulu are the only characters who always wears earrings. I could see Shadow getting at least an ear pierced, but I headcanon that with his rapid healing that it would almost instantly close if he didn't actively wear a piercing at the time.

Anon asked: I totally hope that Piper will have a girlfriend! Do you see her more with a girl or a boy?

A: I currently see PIper as demiromantic. She is currently not interested in anyone romantically or physically, and I don't want to diminish that part of her identity by saying 'Oh but she'll eventually end up with __." Of course, a headcanon is whatever you want so if you personally ship her with a woman that's cool with me!

Anon asked: Hey evay, i was looking at this old info of Amy, and It says that she wans't always at home, did Aurora had any issue with that? Did some part of her childhood she could say that she had mother issues? (Sorry if you can't understand, my english it's terrible 💀)

A: Your English is excellent! I wouldn't go so far as to say Aurora had mother issues. Amy wasn't completely absent from Aurora's youth, she was just working a lot so she wasn't constantly at home the way Sonic was. It would have made things a little awkward/emotional at times because that naturally made Aurora favor Sonic a little more when she was younger, but that also made the times she did have with Amy all the more special. Aurora never thought to herself "My mom has abandoned me because she's never home," it was more of a "Work is stupid and being grown up is stupid because it means Mom can't stay home and play with me all day." Aurora and Amy grow a lot closer as Aurora gets older and better understands the meaning of responsibilities and commitment.

Anon asked: Hi hi! I'm kinda new in the Sonic fandom and I've seen lots of your comics and content so far (That are great!) The shadora refs of their kids are just so *chef kiss*, when I looked at it, I told myself: "Damn, I wanna make ref sheets this great for my characters too!" I love the fact that you called them an horde! xD And the angst with Shadow's immortality must be amazing! Uh I'm getting out of the subject ^^'' I wanted to ask you if you planned or did anything with Silver? I don't think I saw anything from you with him And another question, if no one asked this before, are any of Shadora's kiddos immortal too? Or maybe they're "half immortal"? Like, they live longer than everyone else but still has a shorter lifespan than their dad I love your work! Keep going! ^^ And have a wonderful day :D

A: Wow, that's so kind of you to say! Thank you so much! I hope you do make ref sheets for your characters :) I haven't planned anything with Silver for my AU yet. To be honest, I don't know his character very well and I try my best to always keep the original characters in-character, so that's why I haven't done anything with him yet. But I recently purchased the volumes of IDW comics and I'm hoping to understand him better and then I will be more confident writing him! Secondly, none of the Shadora horde are immortal. They have stronger immune systems so they can heal faster and are less likely to get sick than the average Mobian, but they are still mortal and still age at a normal rate. Thank you for the questions and compliments!

Anon asked: I love the Shadora babies sm !! My question is..What excactly happend in the fight between Diamond and Cinder? Love your art btw<3

A: Thank you so much! I need to make a comic about it. When they were young they were all exploring the different zones and Cinder was really struggling with some of the obstacles so he was already getting quite aggravated. Diamond noticed this and offered to help because some problems are better solved as a team, and Cinder immediately gets pissed and tells her to buzz off. She gets upset that he snaps at her, and there's some escalation between the two and finally Cinder blows up at her (literally). He immediately regrets it as he did not mean to hurt her, but the damage is already done.

degux asked: What would happen if Metal Sonic ( somehow :v ) met CC ?

A: Hmm. Well, even though Metal Sonic is based on Sonic, I love stories that involve him having an identity crisis and ultimately deciding that he's not just going to be a clone. He's his own entity, right? They're alike, but they're not the same. I don't know where he'd be on that self journey by the time he meets CC, but she'd definitely see him as his own person, not as a Sonic copy. But likely he'd still be an antagonist, so they'd end up having to battle lol

milangakokoros asked: does team chaotix exist in the Aurora universe? and have they interacted with the Rose family?

A: They definitely exist in my AU, but I haven't completely decided what their roles are yet. I can see Vector becoming Cream's stepdad (I'm not passionate about the VanillaXVector ship but I know it's practically canon), and then that leads me down a rabbit hole (pun intended) of how does that affect the dynamics of Team Chaotix? I have some rough ideas but I need to spend more time on it.

Anon asked: Have you thought about introducing Vector or Team chaotix in your sonamy and Aurora comics? :0 I picture him being "Uncle Stanley Pines" from Aurora and the Hyena Boys.

A: I had to add this question immediately after because your idea of Grunkle Stan made me laugh out loud! Oh my gosh I love that!

Anon asked: hola, tengo una pregunta. Hace mucho que no veia tu contenido y veo que estas de vuelta me alegro! :) Mi pregunta es aurora no tenia un hermano? Si no mal recuerdo creo que tenia uno y de ser asi el caso, el también tendria sus propias aventuras? Lo poco que recuerdo de el es que estaba en un dibujo tuyo de navidad con toda la familia sonamy junta y otro donde aurora lo abraza. Me gustaría saber que fue de el

A: ¡Gracias! The character you're referring to was an OC made by my friend Nana, a Sonamy fankid named Spazz. I sometimes drew him interacting with Aurora because my friend Nana and I just liked to draw our characters interacting, but Spazz is not a part of my AU. Nana is no longer on tumblr so that's why there aren't any Spazz art/comics anymore.

Anon asked: Does Sonic’s Uncle Chuck exist in your AU?

A: No I don't include the Archie comics or characters at all

⚠‼️THIS QUESTION MIGHT BE TRIGGERING. SKIP IF YOU NEED TO. TW: INFERTILITY ‼️⚠ Anon asked: Hi e-vay! I’ve recently re-read your ‘Boom Baby’ comic & was wonderin’ - especially with all their attempts - did Sonic or Amy, either one, stuggle with infertility? If so, did they ever have any doubts of that “I’m pregnant” moment ever happening?

A: Infertility is a very real issue that many people (including those very close in my life) deal with. Although I do think it's very important for people to be able to see their experiences reflected in the media they consume to help them remember that they aren't alone in their experience, this is not something I wanted Sonic and Amy to have to deal with for Boom!Baby. The chapter where Sonic references making multiple attempts during a certain window of time was not meant to imply that they were struggling with infertility. It was instead supposed to show that now that they've both decided they want a child, Amy doesn't want to take any chances to make sure it happens lol. TMI - Even without fertility issues, getting pregnant is not always guaranteed so it can take a lot of planning and timing (and frankly, luck) to be successful. Super TMI - I headcanon that Sonic and Amy are already intimate A LOT so now that they're trying for a baby it's above and beyond and that's why Sonic is tired in that chapter lol

fireghost234 asked: Hi this is my first time asking you!!!, does sonic in your AU still have his swordfighting skills from black knight?

A: Thank you for the question! Personally I don't think he'd retain those skills after that experience, so no that's not a trait he has in my AU anyway.

madysonisbae19 asked: Okay so I’m listing to the Encanto soundtrack and when Surface Pressure came on tell me why I instantly thought of Diamond singing this song when she is down about being physically the strongest out of her family.

A: That song (and character) is so her! Thank you for pointing that out to me, I'm going to associate that with her now 🥰

Anon asked: Did Aurora actually got bullied in school?

A: In my stories Mobians don't really go to "school," but yes she was bullied by a group of other kids when she was little. I have a script for a comic for this, I just haven't drawn it yet.

Anon asked: I think I'm pretty sure you based post-Boom to make your comics, but do you think Prime to becanon to your comic continuity too?

A: My AU is a fluid situation haha It adapts as more Sonic content comes out and I get to pick what I want to include. That's what makes AUs fun! Hmmm, ultimately I'm going to say no, I don't think Prime is canon to my stories.

Anon asked: Hi e-vay! Just wanted to ask, will we ever see what happened with Sonic and Amy's wedding in your AU? We've seen Amy's pregnancy with Aurora and their first date, so it seems like another natural relationship landmark to make a shenanigans-filled story out of! Also, keeping on the Sonamy wedding topic, what's their guestlist look like? Are there any surprises in who's getting an invite and who isn't?

A: I definitely have a sonamy wedding comic in the works :) It's going to be multi-chaptered. I would love to answer your other questions but I don't want to spoil the surprise! 😜

SHIPPING ASKS

Anon asked: Not to sound weird or anything, but does Sonic have a go to move that seduces Amy? 💙🩷

A: He simply ✨exists✨

Anon asked: Does Sonic ever dream about Amy?

A: I mean, I think so 😉

Anon asked: Hi e-vay! I had a question for you that I've been wanting to know about. If you read Harry Potter or watch the movies, don't you think that Harry and Ginny's relationship is similar to Sonic and Amy? I know this is kind of random, but it's like Harry is the hero, and Ginny was always in love with him, but their relationship slowly developed throughout the books, especially the 6th book. And that's how Sonic and Amy have been throughout the years

A: Hello! I have seen the movies and I read some of the books, but I don't know the series all that well. Actually, I don't remember Ginny being in the movies much at all, so I was a little confused when she and Harry ended up together. Maybe there was more to it in the books that I just never read. So if I'm going solely based on the movies I've seen, I can't say that I see the correlation. But that's not to say you're wrong in thinking that :)

aurorathehedge6 asked: What's your favorite Sonamy art that you made?

A: Definitely My Gal, specifically the last couple of chapters. I put my whole heart into that story and I'm pretty proud of it.

essycogany asked: Hi! First, I want to say that I LOVE your work! You’re so talented and I couldn’t appreciate your stuff enough. How are you feeling about the new Sonamy material from this and last year? Things are really starting to become more obvious as the years go on. Hope you’re doing well. 💖

A: Thank you so much! I hope you're doing well too :) UGH!!! 😩💙💖💙💖💙💖 We have been fed SO WELL lately! I can't believe it, what a time to be alive! I'm still sure they won't ever make it canon, but I love the sweet little snippets we get and just how much Sonic and Amy's relationship has evolved over the years to be so much closer. And I giggle like a little maniac every time they're on screen together or they're side by side in marketing. It makes my heart SING!

Anon asked: Are you still a fan of of the OT3 hedgies (Sonamyshad) and are still a fan of shadamy? Will we see any dribbles about them. Your art is so pretty 😍🤩 I just wanna see more 🤣😅 sorry if that embarrassing!

A: That's not embarrassing, that's crazy kind of you to say! Thank you! Yes I do still adore those ships and need to draw them more. It just seems every time I go to draw something my hand gets possessed by the ✨spirit of sonamy✨😂 I promise I'll draw the others at some point!

Anon asked: Are there any ships that you just… don’t get? Not dislike or hate or anything, just one that you fully don’t understand the appeal for…? Cause Metal Sonic and Amy is a ship that kinda baffles me. Like most Amy ships have some appeal. Sonic is obvious, you’re Ms. Sonamy after all. But Shads, Silver, Blaze, and even Surge have fun dynamics, and Metal doesn’t really strike me as a character that is able to be shipped effectively… Thoughts?

A: There definitely are ships that I don't understand. But if I don't understand or don't like a ship (or fan theories, or whatever), I'd rather just not talk about them. I used to indulge in that style of arguing discussion when I was a kid but I don't do that kind of stuff anymore. If I don't get something I just say "That's not for me" and move along. I do support the MetAmy ship myself but it's not at the top of my ship list (lol). I like it because Metal Sonic is based on Sonic, and if they're meant to be similar and I believe that Sonic does care about Amy, then that logic would tell me that Metal cares about Amy, too. And even though Metal is a villain, Amy does care about his well being (just like she cares about everyone's well being). Metal Sonic is also one of the main reasons Amy and Sonic met in the first place, so I think she holds a special place in her heart for him, even if it's not 100% romantic. That's my reasoning, but I don't want or expect you to change your opinion.

Anon asked: Will tails and CC ever get married?

A: Whoa now, I've never even drawn them on an official date yet ;)

Anon asked: What tv shows would sonic and amy watch together?

A: I think a lot of feel-good comedies like Brooklyn 99, Bob's Burgers, Modern Family and Schitt's Creek.

*The next question is a Shadora Ask. Skip if you don’t like Shadora*

Anon asked: What would Shadow and Aurora’s fave show be?

A: They don't have similar tastes in shows, but I could see them both enjoying Only Murders in the Building and cut throat competition cooking shows like Hell's Kitchen.

*The next question is a Shadora Ask. Skip if you don’t like Shadora

gray3754 asked: How old would Amy and Sonic be when Aurora started to date shadow

A: I don't really do exact ages, but Sonic and Amy have Aurora roughly when they're in their mid-to-late 20s. So they would be in their mid-to-late 40s when Aurora and Shadow first meet.

*The next question is a Shadora Ask. Skip if you don’t like Shadora

aurorathehedge6 asked: What's your favorite Shadora art that you made? Also have Sonic, Amy, Aurora, and Shadow ever been on a double date?

A: Hmm, I think my fav Shadora art is the comic where Shadow and Aurora discuss her "wings" (back quills). It started out as just a fluffy piece but I think it really set the tone for their relationship in my stories. As far as a double date -- I could see them trying a double date early on when Shadow first states his intention to date Aurora, but it doesn't go well. Years later when Sonic is more accepting of their relationship I could see them occasionally going out for lunch/dinner together instead of just their weekly family dinners at home.

*The next question is a Shadora Ask. Skip if you don’t like Shadora

ticciticcicendy asked: I don't know if you do this question but has any of Aurora and shadows kids ever walked in on them?

A: Hahaha, Shadow is too savvy for that! He had the Shadora house built to essentially be a fortress, which also means the primary bedroom is practically a vault. Ain't nobody getting in there unexpectedly hahaha

*The next question is a Shadora Ask. Skip if you don’t like Shadora

lazypatrolpizzapersona asked: One question, is Aurora jealous when Shadow is with these girls?

A: I'm not sure what girls you are referring to? But Aurora is not a very jealous type.

*The next question is a Shadora Ask. Skip if you don’t like Shadora

zero-aurion asked: Quick question, in terms of lap pillows, for Tails and CC and Shadow and Aurora, who rests their head on the others lap more?

A: CC doesn't need to rest, but Tails is so soft that she just loves to lay against him so she'd definitely use him for a lap pillow more. BONUS POINTS for using his tails as a shawl around her shoulders! Shadow is more likely to rest his head in Aurora's lap. The way she strokes his quills is very soothing and makes him feel content. She also has thick thighs so very, very comfy for lap pillows!

--

Thank you all for the questions!

Evay QA Bulk Post 1

Evay QA Bulk Post 2

Evay QA Bulk Post 3

[baconmoop]

My argument as to why the mysterious letter is definitely Gaster.

Okay, now I’ve had time to drink it all in/actually do things for valentines day, I’m ready to make my argument as to why the mysterious letter is definitely our boy Gaster. I’ve been of the mindset that he’s a goofy old man for a long time, and I’ve always wanted to make a video essay to explain my point of view but I've never had the time. This newsletter gave me the push to write this ‘quick’ summary  though. Feel free to fight with me in the notes.

First of all, I am aware that the Japanese version uses Hiragana instead of his normal Katakana. I barely understand English, so I can’t even begin to understand the importance of it. It is my biggest foil, but I don’t think it affects things too much.

My first, easiest bit of evidence, is the fact that Toby has already removed the letter, leaving only this.

He does this constantly with Gaster stuff. He did it with the tarot cards, he did it with abc123a.ogg. The moment someone posts something online, he removes evidence of its existence. Suspicious, is it not?

Okay, let’s break the letter down shall we?

This is in line with a lot of things we already know about WDG. Most likely in Wingdings, we have hints in Sans’ lab and the true lab that his handwriting is impossible to read. We don’t know any of these are 100% him, but it makes sense that it would be difficult to read unless you were determined enough to do so (I assume that is what ‘squint your heart refers to?). 

There are multiple people who know what the ‘delta rune is’, but here to me he is clearly discussing the game, not the prophecy. The only person to ever have interest in our opinions of the experience is the ‘other him’, when he introduced us to the survey program. He also talks in short sentences, Like he does in the initial goner sequence, and pretty much everything else. 

Okay, so this is something that has plagued my mind for a while, but this has brought it to the forefront. I assume here that he’s referring to Dess being stuck in the code, or whoever it is (See here https://forum.melonland.net/index.php?topic=68.0). I’ve always been of the mind that Gaster genuinely wants to help, partially because of the eggs and partially because he seems to want you to win. He wants you to stop the roaring. I have a bunch of theories about this that probably deserve their own video, but here’s a quick summary:

If you name yourself Suzie in the goner maker scene, he says:

As far as I know, he doesn’t say this for anyone else, including ralsei, so he clearly has some kind of positive opinion of Suzie. Why would he say this if he was an antagonist to the fun gang?

When you die in the game and press no on the continue screen, the song ‘darkness falls’ plays (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FSn4p1Xx7NU&ab_channel=Palpe). While definitely having Gaster’s leitmotif for starters, Just listen to how melancholy it sounds. It gives me the same bittersweet vibes that it’s raining somewhere else gives me. If this is a reflection of how Gaster feels when you give up, then he’s definitely a bit bummed that you failed.

Someone is clearly helping the secret bosses. While most people assume that he is doing it for some kind of nefarious purposes, I think he was genuinely trying to help, and it backfired. 

Anyway, back to the letter.

There’s a lot of connections between forgetting and Gaster. Fanon dictates that he’s been completely erased from everyone’s memories, but I don’t want to rely on fanon here. The first thing that comes to mind is obviously ‘Don’t forget’ plastered all over deltarune, which is what I assume he means when he calls it ironic, but that isn’t specifically tied to him. What I do think of however, is goner kid. I’ve already put enough images in this bad boy, but he says "Have you ever thought about a world where everything is exactly the same...Except you don't exist? Everything functions perfectly without you...Ha ha... The thought terrifies me." We know so much about how the goners are connected to him, I’m not gonna re-go over it here. Someone also mentioned the Spamton sweepstakes “AREN'T YOU FORGETTING SOMETHING?” on the ice page, which could also be relevant here. Is there any other character linked to forgetting as much as he is?

Okay, now for my most dubious point (sue me I’m not an actual theorist). But… Doesn’t this give you old man papyrus vibes? It’s goofy, It’s in all caps, it puts a smile on my face. To quote my friend outside the fandom, “It’s giving old man texting his grandchildren for the first time”. I know this is one of the biggest contradictions for people, claiming that it’s out of character for gaster to speak like this, but I give exhibit A, from the legends of localisation book: 

(Ripped directly from https://www.tumblr.com/gasterofficial/715722490333298688?source=share)

I’ve always loved this. It’s probably not canon, but it’s goofy as hell. It was one of the first things that made me want to do a video on my “gaster is a good dude” ideas. It’s the exact same vibes as the letter. 

So what do you think? I could definitely go into more detail about all of this, if people are interested. I just saw something that helped fuel my theories and had to put my opinions out there. Please don’t murder me in the notes for going against the antagonist gaster grain I am very sensitive okay good by!

[bird-slayer-brainrot]

Soldier On, Come Down - Chpt. 3. - - Ineffable Husbands WW2 au human!Crowley angel!Aziraphale angst multi-chapter

1941

Angel,

I would like to apologise for not writing sooner. If things went according to plan, which, they rarely do, I shall like to compose a note to you each day. Nothing grim, of course. I would fill pages of sonnets for you on the most mundane things.

For instance, today I was completing a task and I stopped for a moment two miles north of the camp to watch the sun set. My first thought was of how beautiful it was. My second thought was of you. I confess, I think of the night you told me you loved me often, and how the next morning you stirred beside me. I thought how there was no sky to match the beauty of the blue in your eyes in the early morning sun.

I wish you had seen it, angel. It brings me comfort to know you may now be looking at the same sky as me, and in the miles and miles between us, we are still connected underneath the sky.

I hope that you think of me too

Yours,

A.J. Crowley

 -

Angel,

It has been too long since I last heard from you. Longer since I saw you or held you in my arms. Do not believe for a second that the time has made me forget your touch. Or your face. Or your scent. You are as clear in my mind as they day we met. I do not believe I could forget you if I tried.

I will not go into detail about the front, as I have limited time and space to tell you everything I wish to say. And, I do not think you would like it. So instead I should tell you now that I am well, angel.

Please write me. I love you. I ache for you.

A.J. Crowley

-

Aziraphale,

I am sure by now that you have heard news of what is happening on the front. I made quick to write you this, trading duties with the Staff Sergeant for pen and paper. I hope this letter finds you even if you do not reply. I do not expect anything of you, angel, and I suspect there is a good reason you cannot return my letters. Nonetheless, I write to you because I want to. Because I love you. I love you.

I hope you are well. We hear news of England in pieces. I will not begin to lecture you on your safety because I do not believe you would find it funny, but I do hope you are staying safe. Are safe.

I have hesitated writing this because I did not want to fill you with empty promises. But we have been apart for too long and the weight of not giving you a promise to hold on to weighs to heavy on me. This war will end, sooner or later, and I will come back to you, angel. I will come back to you.

Your Crowley

*

1939

Angels were. as a rule, quite adept at sensing positive intentions. Crowley had sent Aziraphale a note asking him to meet for dinner at the pub they regularly patronized that evening. When he entered in, slightly out of breath from the walk, he could tell almost immediately that something was off.

Anathema and Crowley were engaged in what seemed to be a heated debate. Aziraphale decided to wait near the bar, hoping he hadn't been spotted yet. But as he sat down, Anathema appeared beside him.

"Hello Aziraphale." she said politely. Aziraphale noticed that her cheeks were flushed.

"Anathema, hello." Aziraphale tried to say cheerfully. Anathema just nodded in response, which was unlike her. Then, she spun on her wall and walked out of the bar.

Crowley was still seated at the table. Aziraphale took a seat hesitantly, not quite sure if he was welcome to. Crowley looked up at him then, tiredly. He didn't say anything, but smiled slightly at Aziraphale. Aziraphale knew Crowley would talk about what happened in his own time, so he didn't say anything.

Short update this week but i've been swamped with uni and getting over a bad cold so i haven't been writing as much. i will likely write another half chapter to post sometimes this week but i'll see. thank you for reading <3 i promise this is going somewhere

[yandere-collections]

Since the first post about it, I am now eternally rotating Yandere Town in my mind. Lately it’s imagining how the townspeople would react if the reader was a complete recluse. There’d be clandestine watchtowers in place with a view of the readers home, and any time they left people got some equivalent of an amber alert that their darling is out and about, so be on your best behavior! Everyone working double time to make every second count should they encounter the reader, tripping over themselves to try and make enough of an impression that they just might come out more often.

The more desperate folks get dressed in blue collar outfits and pass themselves off as inspectors who “just need to take a quick look around, make sure everything’s in order.” The reader is equal parts relieved that the town takes citizen safety so seriously and confused as to why five people have showed up in the last three days, not to mention that they seem more interested in chatting than doing any work. The local government cracks down on that pretty quickly, but a few people still slip through the cracks.

Once they all get some idea of what the reader enjoys, the events going on in town get weirdly specific. Checked out a lot of horror books at the library? Big horror movie night in the gym! Spotted shopping around the farmers market? Time for the local festival with plenty of fresh pies and homemade treats! Frequently stop by a certain restaurant? What do you know, they actually throw this big feast in town every year! Crazy how it just happens to fall on the readers birthday, huh? They wouldn’t want to miss it, would they?

And since I’m a big fan of darlings who can read between the lines, the reader catching on that people are acting weird and leaving the house even less than they did when they first arrived, and turning away any unexpected visitors, even if they really are there to check on the house. Unrest sweeping through the streets because nobody’s seen them for the past month, and the leaders have to resort to drastic measures to keep the peace. The fireman chalk up the destruction of the readers entire house to be a horrible case of flawed wiring, they really should’ve let someone check that out. Nowhere to stay? Don’t be silly! Anyone in town would be happy to take them in until they have somewhere new to stay. It’s a close knit town, so expect plenty of guests! Surely the reader won’t mind, they can’t dictate such things in someone else’s home, right? :)

(Apologies for the long-ish ask, it’s just been rotting my brain and I needed to get it all out of my system. Love the stories, love you, have a wonderful day.)

YES YES YES!!! You have reached into my mind and took my exact thoughts to the point where I don't actually have much to add to this.

I definitely think being a recluse would lead to more yanderes invading your privacy, ironically enough. If they can't come in for inspections, your "neighbors" offer to renovate and maintain your home. New paint, gardening, one of them even offered to start digging a hole in your backyard to put in a pool (no ulterior motives here! they totally aren't hoping to catch you in a bathing suit on the dozens of cameras surrounding your house). While you may be missing some things and you're pretty sure you have less locks on your windows now, you can't deny how much nicer the house looks. Hopefully you don't get too attached because, like you said, something bad may happen if you spend too much time inside. They won't resort to burning it down unless they're really desperate. Most of the time, a burst sewer line or power outage is enough. Maybe the utility company will shut off your water, forcing you to stay at a friend's for a while.

Never apologize for long asks! It's a genuine delight to see how excited people get about my writing <3

[writingintheshadowsforever]

Hi Let Me Explain

Quick Note: This might be a long post so I don't blame anyone who doesn't read the whole thing. This is an explanation, an apology, and an update all in one.

Hi everyone I'm back this time for real. I won't make any promises to posting three to four times a week. I won't make any promises on what series or request will be updated first. I will reassure all of you than none of my series or requests are forgotten about. I have them saved somewhere and plan on finishing them. The plan here is to take it one day at a time. One fic at a time. As I start my journey to finding the joy in writing again.

You see I've been doing a lot of self reflection these past couple of weeks. I've been at war with myself on rather or not to let a dream go. That dream to become this big time bestselling author one day. I didn't want to admit that dream which has always been my biggest dream since like high school was doing more harm than good. The dream of being a published writer is destroying my love for writing. So I need to let it go before I find myself hating writing altogether.

Its never easy to walk away or let go of your dreams especially for creatives. I sort of feel like its harder for any type of artist in whatever field to admit that they want to move onto something else. Because we grow up having to listen to parents and teachers telling us. Its not a plausible goal and to pick a safer path or at least have a backup goal. And most of us decide right then and there no matter what we're going to prove all those people wrong. No matter what obstacles we have to face, how many times we fail, or how long it takes. We are determined to find success with our craft and make them eat those words.

Some of us refuse to even consider another interest or path. Some of us put all our eggs in one basket. Some of us let our craft become our entire identity meaning. Later on if we want to walk away or maybe just put on the back burner for a while. Its like losing who you are as a person. You feel like you've failed yourself and at life for letting go. I say letting go and not giving up because I will never give up on writing or more specifically storytelling.

Storytelling made me the person I am today. I wouldn't be here today without my love for storytelling. It got me out of some dark places as a kid and still does today. Storytelling is the only real magic in this world.

As a writer who feel like the heart of storytelling is dying because of capitalism. I can't let it go. I can't let my love for it die which is why for now I have to let the dream go. It doesn't mean my dream still won't come true one day. And its not like becoming a bestselling author is my only dream. I have other dreams that have take the backseat, and I think its time to move them to the front seat.

For now on I write for the joy of it. I write to get those stories out of me. When it comes to my writing I don't ever want it to be about money or fame. Starting now I'm going to stop stressing over traditional publishing and rather or not I'll ever be good enough.

I'm sorry everyone for being gone so long. For a while a part of me started to contemplate giving up on writing altogether and even deleting this account. I was starting to hate writing because I was so stressed trying to figure out how to achieve success as a professional writer.

I once had a stranger who I didn't know at all tell me that one day I was going to be a great writer. Never met or talked to this guy a day in my life. I felt like it was a sign from God, the universe or whatever you believe in. Either way it was some divine intervention moment letting me know I was one day destined for a long and great career as a professional writer. But do you have to be a professional writer to be a great writer? Is it the same thing? Can someone be great at something but never find traditional success? Those are the questions that have been running my head every time I thought about letting go. I still going to struggle with those questions, but I hope one day I find the answer. What makes a great writer?

After going through my old fics the ones I'm going to get started on are:

Queen Ramonda x Reader Enemies to Lover

Part 2 to being Namor's daughter and choosing Wakanda over Talokan

Steal Your Heart

Not Who You Think I Am

New Marvel Stuff

New Addition

My Hero Academia imagines because its my new anime obsession

[majorbaby]

very very long rant

when i first left tumblr after the porn ban, the sjw stuff was starting to plateau, but you still had big bloggers ironically calling themselves misandrists in bio. I say ironically because unlike an open misogynist, an open misandrist cannot amass vast structural power, they instead will remain on the fringes of society. before they can even be shunned in the mainstream or the elite, they're being shunned by their own peers.

at that time, there was a lot of popular blogs run by (sometimes allegedly) racialized people or "poc-run spaces" like thisisnot[country] and blogs specifically dedicated to pointing out cultural appropriation. i personally contributed to the reclaimthebindi which in retrospect seemed inspired by blackout selfie day (not to be confused with thr subsequent 'blackout' posts associated with BLM - that was later), altho idk to what extent the south asian diasporic community (of which i am a part of) actually paid homage to the black blogger/s responsible for blackout day.

now many of those blogs are defunct or have been scrubbed from level-one searches of tumblr, and their history has not been well documented. it's hard to understand what the climate was unless you were there because not many secondary sources, like the one you're reading right now i suppose, exist. or they weren't well-circulated. this one won't be, i'm turning off reblogs i think.

this is, in my opinion, in contrast to other major trends in internet culture that inform offline social justice movements. that's your gxmxrgxte (so well-ingrained in my memory that it still upsets me enough to censor today), metoo and the annual around ao3's right to host any and all content with very limited few exceptions.

reclaimthebindi is still up, so are a few of the thisisnot blogs, but you can't really tell that they were all interconnected, a part of the same zeitgeist. i have a few theories as to why, and which one you pick depends on how generous you are when imagining the people who ran these blogs. some of them for sure were run by bored college students seeking an outlet. some of them were denied recognition by their offline peers because of racism, so it felt good to find a space where they could actually amass social capital on the basis of the very thing that disadvantaged them in every other space. some were concerned with punitive justice, others with restorative justice. some just posted black and brown bodies so that those images would exist on the internet somewhere. some were run by racefacing white people who also felt like outcasts offline, and saw a quick and easy way to be embraced elsewhere. it's possible that some people did it for a combination of these reasons.

whatever benefits there may have been, it wasn't enough to keep the momentum going. very few put out 'retirement' statements, most just stopped posting and were eventually purged. tbh, i see the draw in airing your grievances all in one place, but it's exhausting, and eventually your supporters grow tired of the negativity, and you grow tired of the negativity too. that's why i think it's usually better to stick to posting and sharing the stuff you love, not the stuff you hate, or at least, find a balance. though their presence is much, much smaller, creator networks for women, lgtbq, and racialized people have sprung up, and so have spaces where people post and repost art that engages with class, race, gender etc.

but it still feels like racialized people have a much quieter voice on tumblr. i have to rely on stumbling upon them naturally, which is next to impossible, especially if you're on tumblr for a small to medium sized fandom, which i think most fandoms are these days. your supermassive fandoms - doctor who, sherlock, kpop, harry potter, the mcu, also no longer dominate the site. i would still say tumblr is the big fandom site, but a lower user count means that the internet's fandom site is smaller than before.

so, less users in general, and any existing minority shrinks. and if we're talking racialized people who are lgtbq, that's an even smaller minority.

this in my opinion has contributed in a major way to the backlash against feminism, the idea that "terfs ruined feminism" with the subtle suggestion that feminism has perhaps failed, or was never really good to begin with, and a laser focus on terfs as the ones responsible as though the mainstream, patriarchal, cis-heteronormative bloc had absolutely nothing to do with it. or the ludicrous idea that terfs are the mainstream, patriarchal cis-heteronormative bloc. two things can be bad, that doesn't mean they're the same thing.

anyway! a big part of the original tumblr feminist movement was not just the "poc run blog" but in the "woc run blog". "poc" was absorbed into BIPOC, and "woc" is a legacy term. your woc were regularly venting about how being a woman of colour means choosing between your race and your gender, putting up with the misogyny of the racialized men in your life who you show up for constantly but who throw you under the bus when the white man asks them how high to jump. now there's white lgbtq bloggers all over the place asking whether you "include black and brown men when you said you say men are trash?" (yes, i absolutely am) and if you ask that question to a room full of white people, they're all going to keep their mouths shut because they don't want to appear racist.

well, white men do not have a monopoly on misogyny. misogyny levied at racialized women by racialized men is a huge intra-community barrier to trying to organize against racism and white supremacy. it is extremely upsetting to see white people suggest that racialized women, lgbtq people and children are not oppressed by the racialized men in their own communities. that we are not survivors of domestic abuse, sexual abuse or that we do not endure oppression under patriarchy in the home, workplace and in society inflicted upon us by our own kin, which compounds upon what we already absorb from white people.

and they can go on doing so on here because many racialized women have shut up and gone away. even running blogs aimed around celebrating themselves has become a service to white consumers that they've done thanklessly for years. just to hear that actually, they have no right to say "men are trash" because what if the brown man that abused them or their mom or their aunties overhears and gets his feelings hurt. didn't we discern the difference between hurt feelings and systemic oppression almost fifteen years ago on tumblr dot com?

like, sure, maybe we should adjust "women only spaces" to be "spaces for women and trans people" but we can do that and not pretend that we have absolutely no idea why women live in fear of men, or that a reasonable amount of fear is completely unwarranted.

man it is one thing to come back here to find all the, admittedly, sometimes kind of annoying sjw blogs around race gone, and another to see a resurgence of popular MRA talking points. but i see how that's happened. racialized women are done talking about this, and who can blame them. white women, and i wish i only meant cis women, get slapped with 'terf' the second they open their mouths, so they are also done talking about this.

if you managed to read all of this please be a little careful when reblogging posts that are critical of feminism. yes, there are a few bad-faith actors within feminism, but feminists in general are a minority group, even if it doesn't feel that way on tumblr. think about it, how long has it been since you saw someone with 'feminist' in bio? is it a good thing to keep facilitating this growing resentment against feminism? has feminism done nothing for us? should we toss it out with the bathwater?

[neonseperatedau]

Prime Leo AU Tribute

Ever since @mama-we-all-go-to-huesos posted their concept for their Prime Leo AU, it has lived rent-free in my head. Also thanks to some dear discord friends, I felt inspired to imagine how this AU might have started. This goes without saying but this is not at all canon but just my headcanon and a tribute for a wonderful artist and an super intriguing concept. (If it’s not okay to post this snippet for the OG artist I’ll of course delete it!) Beware TW: Mentions of violence, mental torment

The rain fell as if somebody had slowed down time to half its usual speed. Drop per drop moved through space unbound by any of Earth’s physics. But he wasn’t on Earth anymore, wasn’t he? Leo lay out-stretched on the ground, glancing up at the weird phenomena. He hesitated to try and taste the water, nothing in this dimension was as he expected it so it wouldn’t be surprising if this liquid would be poisonous. “Hey,” he called out, knowing that HE was nearby and listening. Without waiting for an answer, the turtle asked: “Is that water safe? Do we need it to survive?” There was a silence that felt like it stretched out time like the slow-motion rain before the voice of Krang Prime came from somewhere to the right: “You should have noticed by now that you don’t get hungry or thirsty. It’s not necessary to wonder these sorts of frivolous things here.” That was true. Leo had expected that he would first die of thirst and even after all this time, he felt fine. Well actually, his very first fear had been that his enemy would finish his job out of mere spit and frustration. Curiously, at one point, Krang had stopped and left Leo to bleed and cry by himself. After he had done that for so long, Leo believed he had lost his mind, the turtle had started counting. Counting the seconds, minutes, and hours, he lost track dozens of times. The carcasses of ancient Krangs watched him from all corners of the contained endlessness with the patience only the dead could afford. That’s how Leo learned the horror of stagnation. He propped himself up to look at his fellow prison inmate. Still wearing the suit, the alien was standing on the edge of the free-floating plateau they were on. “Hey,” he called out again. No reaction. “Why are we still here?” Finally, Krang Prime turned to him. “Is this supposed to be one of your sarcastic retorts?” he growled. “Nah, too exhausted for those.” Leo wondered if it would make him feel any better if he would spend eternity making bad puns. He continued: “I meant why am I still alive? I didn’t bleed out, but you could simply crush me with brute force if you would feel like it.” It's not like this question is a spontaneous suggestion or anything like that. It was more a mystery that the longer he pondered about the more it didn’t give him any comfort. Quite the contrary, it unsettled him. Krang’s pinkish core glared at him. It was difficult to read the expression of a half-chewed giant gum with too many teeth. At last, he came to a conclusion because he trotted toward Leo. “To tell you the truth, I wanted to finish you off at first. You are the source of all my agony, the one who forced me AGAIN into this cursed place.” Leo sat up but didn’t do anything as the alien came closer. He was so damn tired, and he started to hate infinity. Lifting his head up in a sluggish motion, he stared right at the red eye of the Krang armor that now towered above him. “And then it dawned on me,” he continued, “there are worse things than death at this place and I can see that you are already learning this lesson as well. So, I wondered, what would happen if I would turn my greatest foe into an extension of myself.” With a lightning-quick movement, the claws of Krang Prime grabbed Leo’s arms and held him tight. He wanted to turn his head away but realized too late that he was caught in its red pulsating light and was physically unable to blink anymore. “What you’re about to see is my glorious conquest through the galaxy. Every battle, every victory, and the few losses. The annihilations and dominations, the powers gained, and the worlds discovered. Everything, I will burn into your tiny mortal mind.” The memories came rushing in, just as he had said. Dozens and dozens and hundreds and hundreds of images of violence and power and pain and Leo screamed, his voice echoing through the space while raindrops fell down on him with endless care and patience.

[deancaspinefest]

My Turning Page

Author: Jean Pilgrim | Artist: Alexiescherryslurpy Posting on Monday March 6

Okay, so maybe dragging Sam and Dean’s otherworldly lookalikes into their world wasn’t the best idea Dean’s ever had. But it’s not like they’re gonna stay long. They’re just gonna help them out and then move their asses somewhere Dean doesn’t have to deal with the way the other Dean keeps glancing at Cas. Right? Wrong. Tweedledee and Tweedledum are here to stay for a while, and it’s annoying the hell out of Dean. Nevermind that he’s busy trying to defeat Chuck and simultaneously ignoring the feeling in his chest that bubbles up any time he sees Cas and asks himself why his best friend shot him down when he confessed his feelings to him in Purgatory. - Chuck is gone and the world is saved. The Grady twins have left the building, too, and all should be well. Except, it isn’t: Cas is dead and it’s Dean’s fault. It must be. Cas loved him, and Dean loved Cas, and it was the end of him. Dean sees little hope for himself, but the least he can do now is try and be the man Cas thought him to be. A brave man, who never stops fighting for the people he loves. A man that cares about his brother and Jack. When Jack returns, Dean finds one of Cas’ very few sentimental possessions, and with it, his will and determination to get him back. If only he could find someone to take his place and help him hide his plans from Sam and Jack…

Keep reading for a sneak preview!

“I am going to help Sam load the car,” Cas suggests, then. “It was nice talking to you, Dean.” With a smile and a tip of his head, he gets up and walks past Dean, very pointedly avoiding each and every eye or body contact. Dickbag-Dean, now finished with putting on the shirt, shrugs the flannel over his shoulders, and calls after him: “Likewise, Castiel. Safe travels.” Dean makes an effort to take a few deep breaths so as not to clock the guy. They need to get going, get this show on the road and get rid of their counterparts, migrate them to a different hemisphere, if Dean gets his way. “Fridge is stocked,” Dean counts off coldly, staring at what looks like his crooked mirror reflection. “Keys are next to the door, in case you need to get out. Make it quick if you do, though. You got our numbers?” “Oh, Castiel gave me his. No worries. We’ll be good and let you know if something comes up,” the other Dean says amicably. Dean grinds his teeth, forcing the words out through pursed lips. “Good.” He grants his counterpart a quick nod, then hoists his duffel further up his shoulder and turns to leave. “Oh, and Dean?” WIth his eyes closed and his patience running thinner than the fabric of his worn down jeans, Dean turns around again and clutches the straps of his bag until they almost cut into his palm. “Yeah?” “You and Cas, you’re…” “Friends,” Dean confirms tonelessly, not liking the way the corners of the other guy’s lips tick up at that. “Best friends. Cas and I are family.” “I just wanted to make sure. I didn’t want to, you know, overstep. But alas, it seems that I can try and shoot my shot, as they say, then.” Dean barks a toneless laugh, trying to cover up the hollow feeling in his stomach. This isn’t happening. “Sorry, definitely barking up the wrong tree there, dude. Believe me. Save yourself the trouble.” He doesn’t know why he says it like that. He doesn’t know why he says it, period, other than the fact that he never, ever wants to come into one of the countless rooms in the bunker to witness… whatever was just going on between his lookalike and his best friend, again. “Hm.” Douchebag-Dean seems to consider that for a moment, his eyes trailing the staircase to the bunker’s main entrance where Cas had disappeared a mere minute ago. “Thanks for your concern, but I don’t think I will.”

 [continue reading on Ao3 on Monday March 6]