#if i cannot find in-depth analysis of her i will create it

[inamindfarfaraway]

Isabela Madrigal, Heights and Vine Symbolism

Before “What Else Can I Do?”, Isabela is repeatedly positioned higher than Mirabel. She appears on the landing when they’re preparing the birthday party in a dramatic entrance and later rolls her eyes at Mirabel’s claims of the cracks from up there too, while Mirabel is on the ground floor both times. During the argument she drags Mirabel flat on the floor and stands tall over her. Heck, her bed is even on a raised platform with stairs leading up to it.

This shows the imbalances between them of others and especially Alma’s regard, their privilege and implicitly inherent worth. Everyone looks up to Isabela… and she looks down her nose at Mirabel. We sympathize more with Mirabel in these scenes, her feeling to herself and us not just a helpless victim of her sister’s pride, but more reasonable and, well, down-to-earth.

Flowering vine swings in particular symbolize this idea. Her bed, as seen there, is attached to vines strong enough to lift and swing it. Based on how she lowers it when Mirabel first enters her room, I infer that she pulls it up into the enclosing curtains (said by the creative team to represent how she feels trapped) to retreat even further from the world when she’s upset, hiding her messy, ‘bad’ negative emotions out of anyone’s sight and earshot. Besides the bed being a big swing, she’s suspended from vines in the “Did somebody say flowers?” moment; in “We Don’t Talk About Bruno” complete with a spotlight, her vision seemingly the only desirable one foretelling her happiness and prosperity; and in promotional art designed to effectively present her pre-story character, suggesting it’s in-universe something she does often and is known for. Her trademark as “Señorita Perfecta Isabela”.

This demonstrates her skill, strength and precision with her gift, and does a lot to serve her perfect image - and Mirabel’s perception that she’s spoiled and has had everything handed to her. It’s an efficient method of transportation that no ordinary person could use. A glamorous, elevated vehicle reserved for a specific individual and allowing them to sit connotes privilege and superiority, like litters. Her being seated, the vines descending from somewhere unseen rather than us watching her grow them from scratch, their smooth, fluid movement and her not visibly exerting herself in the slightest make her command look totally effortless. It’s easy to forget that she’s controlling the vines at all instead of getting (more) cosmic help. And look at her gorgeous hair and dress as they swish and flow with the elegant motion! Look at the flowers she didn’t need to add, but did, because all that she touches is beautiful to behold! Lovely Isabela, an angel deigning to visit Earth from the heavens. Perfect Isabela, too good to take the stairs like a normal person. What a vain fucking showoff.

In the early part of “WECID” when Mirabel isn’t actively listening to her, she uses vines again. Yet it feels different. She sits on another swing to travel to the location of the verse where she explicitly describes the monotony, oppressiveness and exhaustion of always growing the same perfect flowers and always keeping up a shallow facade. “I grow rows and rows of roses/Fleur de mayo, by the mile/I make perfect, practiced poses”. Oh. It does take effort. It takes energy and time and thought, enough to leave her drained of enthusiasm for life itself. She’s been silently giving her whole self away all these years. Furthering the revelation that using her gift, at least in this way, is actually taxing, she then manipulates the vines to swing her bed not ‘effortlessly’ through her magic but with her arms and weight like a normal person. The movement is a defiant, forceful pull, as if straining against restraints or seizing her personal autonomy. The only time we’ve seen force anything like that from her before is…

emphatically ripping a flower off her own vine while ranting about how the arranged proposal she was going to accept, her ultimate sacrifice in the name of her family, has been ruined.

Now we realize: to Mirabel, the vines’ symbolism is that Isabela is better than her. To Isabela, they’re puppet strings. She doesn’t look in control of them because she isn’t in control of her life, merely a pretty doll Alma moves around, pressured to be passively pulled wherever the supposed needs of “the family” demand. A precarious position that she must constantly work to keep her balance in, lest she irrevocably, unforgivably fall from grace. She literally uses vines as a barrier between her and Mirabel. To try to remove the ‘imperfection’ of Mirabel from her room. They are tools of restriction, division and imposing your will on someone else.

But during “What Else Can I Do?” she thinks of ascension and heights positively. She wants to “climb”, to “rise” right “through the roof, to the skies”, and reflects this by rising on a growing palm tree and going up to the roof, jumping and riding plants higher than she’s ever been before. What changes?

Instead of hanging, she’s standing on her own two feet. On the foundations of her family home and plants she constructs for herself. When she does swing from vines, like when leaping off the roof and later racing to save the candle, she grips them unsupported Tarzan-style, which feels much more active and independent. She even rides on thicker, sturdier moving vines! She initially leaves Mirabel behind to climb after her, Isabela caught up in the rush of discovering and experimenting with freedom of expression and Mirabel still seeing her as a means to the end of protecting the miracle and family (hey, like Alma does… it’s as if they’re foils or something!). But by the bridge they’re both on top of the palm tree.

They’re both on top of the palm tree because Isabela helps Mirabel up. She wants to share her real self with her, for her to be part of this. This is the first moment when she directly addresses Mirabel and asks for her opinion: doesn’t she want freedom and authenticity too? Mirabel is inspired to really listen to her sister, reevaluate her assumptions about her and process the new side of her she’s seeing. Her conclusion - “All I know are the blossoms you grow/But it’s awesome to see how you rise” - is that she likes, loves, even admires the true Isabela and wants to understand and see more of her, no doubt wishing that they’d had this conversation sooner. She chooses to embrace and support her. Isabela sinks to her knees and Mirabel in response sits down next to her, so even their standing height difference is eliminated.

They finally see eye to eye. They rise together.

After that, they stay on the same level throughout the rest of the movie.

The toxic imbalances of power, autonomy and perceived value are gone. They’re equals and respect each other accordingly. At the end of the song, Isabela lets herself fall into a cushioning pile of her new, vibrant flowers, safe in the knowledge that she can catch herself.

[tokiro07]

Undead Unluck ch.199 thoughts

[The Master Rules Strike Back]

[Contents: analysis/speculation - Gods/Master Rules]

I want to start this one with a quick note about last week's review: when Soul said that Luna gave people "potential," I assumed that was a built-in aspect to Soul's Rule. Based on what Soul says this week, though, it seems that human potential is a direct result of Change, not Soul. Perhaps there's still more to it that I'm not quite getting, but is it possible that Soul isn't the only UMA created by Luna? That would kind of reduce the impact of Soul's revelation, but I guess we'll find out sooner or later

The big event for this chapter is definitely the beginning of Language's offensive, but that's more of a transition into next chapter, so unless I want to speculate on where this is going, that doesn't give me a lot to work with (and I don't want to do that, you all know my predictions are always wrong)

Instead, what stands out the most to me this chapter is what Soul tells the other Master Rules as they mourn Beast: "we need to usher Beast into a validated world." I'm sure this ties back into what Beast said about God wanting the "greatest life of all." What exactly is the end goal? What interest does God have in creating a world with set rules?

I've talked about it before, but if God just wanted to torture humanity, there're definitely better ways to do that than to have a game with a set win/lose condition. I've long since believed that God (or at least Sun) is not doing any of this sadistically. UMA being ordered to make humanity suffer and Negators experiencing tragedy upon selection have both only fed into the Negators becoming more determined to fight and grow their abilities, suggesting that this is a calculated effort to groom them into worthy enemies for the Master Rules, trials to help them achieve their full potential

So what happens when the final world is created? When Sun has proven to Luna that humanity cannot reach the Gods and no longer gives them any means of fighting back? Will the Rules simply run rampant, killing humans for fun for all eternity? It's been made quite clear that Sun would one day grow bored of that, so what happens then?

I think that Sun has really just been experimenting with the Rules to see which ones make the most sense, which ones help the world run the most smoothly without simply giving humanity unearned happiness. The final world won't be a paradise, but it will presumably be one with clearly defined order. Perhaps human autonomy will be erased and the world will continue to loop, like Heaven in JJBA, or perhaps Sun will simply abandon the final world and move onto create another, a failed experiment that failed to meet his expectations. Whatever it ends up being, I get the feeling it will be presented as something good at first glance, true happiness on paper, only to fall apart upon closer inspection

The fact that the Master Rules, the most human UMAs, have been fighting as long as the Union has tells me that they have a vested interest in creating this validated world. They aren't blindly loyal to Sun like Ruin is, their happiness is set to be found in that world. Perhaps they will inherit the world, and they will be the new humans, like the end goal of the Curses in JJK? They have goals of their own beyond just trying to beat the heroes because they were told to, and that depth is definitely the puzzle piece that was missing in the early parts of UU

I hope that we'll get more insight here with the Language fight, since Language seems by her nature to be less overtly antagonistic. If Beast, a creature of instinct, was the expositor of the bare circumstances, then it would make sense that Language, presented as an intellectual, would be the expositor of the philosophical motivations behind those circumstances. Perhaps not, though, but hopefully we'll find out soon

Until next time, let's enjoy life!

[ink-dusted-dreams]

An Analysis of Tomoe and Kenshin’s Relationship Part 1

16 years ago when I was just 12, I watched Rurouni Kenshin with its action-filled scenes, which intrigued me. However, it was not until a year later when I read the manga, that I truly fell for the relationship between Kenshin and Tomoe. As someone who never had a great interest in romance stories, that love story inspired me to fall in love and left me questioning how real love could be. Yet, I was left feeling disappointed as the intricacies of this extraordinary love was never fully explored.

The spiritual, transcendental connection between the two characters was so powerful and poetic that it stayed with me ever since, stirring up feelings of both pain and joy. While I am grateful for the story, I cannot help but to think that with a different writer and Seinen genre, justice could have been done in truly reflecting the complexity of such transcendental love between two characters in the Bakumatsu period and Boshin Sensō.

On the other hand, the OVA was a heart-wrenching masterpiece; the artful quality of each frame was eerie, poignant and touched me deeply.

Going beyond the surface, this analysis delves into the depths of Kenshin's feelings for Tomoe, exploring her role in his life and how the manga portrays their dynamic.

The sorrow that consumed Kenshin after Tomoe's death was overwhelming, a sensation he simply could not shake. One can only imagine, in the depths of his despair, was he also filled with a fury that she had chosen such a tragic ending?

Kenshin had spent more than a decade facing the repercussions of his past, unable to accept the finality of life and his beloved Tomoe in death. Only after the end of his Kyoto epilogue, ten long years later, had he finally found the courage to confront his grief and pay homage to her grave.

As the chapters progress, Kenshin finally locked eyes with the now-grown Enishi, a vision of the beloved Tomoe appeared before him. He let out an anguished cry, as if desperately trying to reach her.

Kenshin is a seasoned killer, yet after finding out Enishi was seeking vengeance, he cannot withstand the onslaught of Tomoe's visions. Even after ten years, her trauma remains buried in his heart, an ache so deep it's all-consuming.

As pages turn, we learn that Kenshin's scar starts with a story of pain and injustice. It's a tale of unfulfilled love, of a man named Kiyosato Akira, denied his most basic desire, a simple wish to be with the woman he loved, who also loved him back. He was a helpless figure in the midst of a deadly and fanatical revolution, and his life was taken in an instant, and all that remained of him was a single scar upon the face of his murderer. A scar born of anguish, injustice, and unfulfilled desires.

Kenshin had only been a young teenager when he was full of idealistic naïveté and dreams of making a change, no matter the cost. But by the time he encountered Tomoe, Kenshin had already taken the lives of over hundred people, leaving psychological scars that would haunt him; a chill of violence that even the Sake tasted like blood on his tongue - perhaps a sign of post-traumatic stress disorder.

Kenshin and Tomoe's initial encounter was an enthralling visual of windswept emotions and tragedies that seemed to have been embedded in a Kabuki play. Tomoe began by saying, “They always say at tragic scenes, a rain of blood falls... but you really made it.. rain blood..” Her cryptic comment portrayed a sense of cynicism. Despite being in the midst of such violence and chaos, her composed expression betrayed neither surprise nor fear.

These apt words may have been derived from Yudono no Chôbê, Kiwametsuki Banzui Chôbê, a kabuki play that dates back to 1881 (although that is slightly later than when the manga takes place). The story connotes the phrase “Chi no ame wo furasu” (Make it rain blood) which translates to “creating casualties with sword.” It indeed painted a vivid picture of sorrow and desolation which Tomoe was able to express with incredible poignancy.

Kenshin was determined to keep the powerful, honorable legacy of Battousai under wraps. Yet, when Tomoe stumbled across his slaying, the first thought that should have occurred to him -- yet tragically failed to -- was how to rid her of the knowledge. But as their fateful encounter unfolded, his other senses were suddenly assailed; the sweet aroma of her white plum perfume eclipsing the staining smell of blood, that seemed to remain present everywhere and followed him. I thought it was at that moment that Kenshin would have felt a spark of attraction toward Tomoe.

In Chapter 168 of the manga, Kenshin is forced to confront the impossible moral dilemma, posed to him by Tomoe: "So, bad people carry swords and good people don't? If I had been carrying a sword that night, would you have killed me?" Kenshin tries desperately to defend his beliefs, to explain the nuances of his sense of morality, that he only kills those who do violence to others. But in the face of her piercing question, he is left struggling to find the answer.

Amidst all the chaos, it was made starkly clear: the Kenshin, who typically disinterestedly refuses to engage in anything personal, was curiously transfixed with her, a notion that would have been otherwise unimaginable to his famed persona, the renowned Battousai. He was consumed by a youthful fascination with her, though seemingly unaware of its implications.

Tomoe gazed upon a sleeping Kenshin, whom she had called the vanguard of mad justice, and was taken aback by how young he really was. As soon as he sensed her presence, he instinctively drew his katana, ready to strike--- although it stood in stark contrast to his adamant belief that he would never kill an innocent.

Tomoe, unruffled by that sudden action, asked him to “let her be his sheath”, restraining his mad justice, while simultaneously reminding Kenshin of the question he put to her the previous chapter--- whether he would have killed her had he possessed the sword.

Hesitantly yet intensely, Kenshin replied that he would never be able to do such a thing, not to her. It almost felt like an unconscious confession--- for neither one of them were aware of whether the other was a friend or an enemy at that point.

It was perhaps at that moment when unexpected vulnerability was shown by the feared Battousai that Tomoe started to feel an irresistible compassion, perhaps even attraction towards him.

In Chapter 170, Kenshin, ever the vigilant sentinel, finds himself lulled into a sense of security he rarely experiences - so much so that he doesn't even rouse at the sound of Iizuka opening the door. Perhaps he finds peace just from Tomoe's presence, a demonstration of how much he has welcomed her into his life and learned to trust her.

The triumphant return of the Shinsengumi was not without consequence. The Chōshū Isshin Shishi had been raided, leaving a cloud of uncertainty and insecurity in its wake. Knowing this, Katsura Kogoro strongly urged Kenshin to go in hiding with Tomoe, for a young couple would have an easier time evading suspicion than a lone man.

But it was in the face of this peril that Kenshin suddenly declared his love for Tomoe and asked her to be his wife until death did them part. The gravity of the situation, the revolutionary forces at work and ever-looming danger of death gave this newfound romance an air of irrevocable finality. They smiled at each other in a sea of turmoil, perhaps aware of the magnetism drawing them ever closer, the snowballing affection as though the path of their future had already been decided.

In chapter 172, Iizuka was taken aback when he encountered Kenshin at the hideout, surrounded by reports of bloodshed and disarray in the city. What struck him even more was that despite the chaos, Kenshin was calm and content. Iizuka was left to ponder what eluded peace could possibly be in Kenshin's life - and the answer came soon enough - that Kenshin found solace in five months surrounded by Tomoe; in a life devoid of violence, where he could practice his beloved Kenjutsu without the worry of taking a life.

As the chapter progressed, Tomoe was in her usual melancholic state, while something radically different was present in Kenshin. A happiness like he had never experienced before shone from his now unguarded, beaming face. The past five months of living with Tomoe had taught him what his life was meant for - happiness.

We also witness Kenshin relinquish all apprehension and wariness, exposing his personal life to Tomoe -- the adversities from his infancy as a famine-stricken orphan that took the lives of his family. His suffered untold hardships throughout the voyage of his life.

For Tomoe however, the wall of sadness still remained, however palpable Kenshin's happiness had become.

In the next chapter, as Kenshin encounters Enishi visiting his sister, suspicions naturally arise. Izuka, Katsura, and Tomoe are the only individuals who would have the knowledge of the place. But rather than pass judgement, Kenshin places his faith and full trust in Tomoe. Conjoined with the newfound realization of his being unaware of Tomoe having a brother, Kenshin begins to understand his limited understanding of her.

[collateralfall]

Female Harry Potter Fanfic Recommendation List

I recently discovered this genre of Harry Potter fan fiction, and while I do not support the author’s views in any way, shape, form, or capacity, I do support awesome authors on the internet doing their best. That being said, this AU is such an interesting one to explore in the emotional and physical sense, as something so little changes the story in a compelling and imaginative way that really lets the author’s personal style and experience shine through brilliantly. While I am a fan of the old-fashioned fics, I feel like this take on it is interesting and growing in popularity steadily. I will be adding to this list as I find new and interesting takes on this AU. Sometimes writing quality is not the only thing that is an indicator of good fan work to me so there will be fics from varying levels in that regard present here if I find that it is unique in some way or a revolutionary idea/start to something that could be great with time. In turn, I will also be accepting any additional recommendations and adding anything that is really interesting on that end. Thank you and I hope you have a lovely day :).

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✨: Complete Work

🌙: Incomplete Work

*: Mature

R: Rating

P: Pairing

WC: Word Count

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Characters Read The Harry Potter Books:

1.) ✨ righting the wrongs of the past and future by Sleeper102

P: (Fred Weasley/Harry Potter), (Cedric Diggory/Harry Potter), (Hermione Granger/Ronald Weasley)

R: Not rated

WC: 88,352

Chapters: 21

Description: “Harriet Potter finds herself among friends and enemies alike in a room where they must read about her life. This is a basic characters read the books fanfiction I will be following the books pretty closely but because Harry is a female I will be adding or changing some things other than that this is your basic the characters read the books fanfic”.

My Take: I sincerely cannot stress how good this series is. It makes me feel like I am reading the books all over again and re-experiencing the story but with more depth and thought-provoking analysis. It truly does capture the best and worst of the characters in a way that makes it hard to stop reading and leaves me wanting another update immediately after I finish a new chapter. I am not even going to lie, this is most likely my favorite one on this list.

2.) The Complete “The Readings” Series by Sleeper102

Description: 

Books 1-3 are completed, so the reading is up to about chapter 2 of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire currently. The same pairing and rating notes should apply, but they are always listed in case this reclist missed anything. 

3.)🌙 Can Things Change by EsrynRose

P: (Fred Weasley/Harry Potter), (Cedric Diggory/Harry Potter), (Hermione Granger/Ronald Weasley), (Draco Malfoy/Female OC), (Neville Longbottom/Luna Lovegood), (James Potter/Lily Evans Potter)

R: Not Rated

WC: 136,369

Chapters: 20

Description: “2 days before Halloween 1977 a group of people travel to the past to change things. Can they manage to make a difference, or are certain things destined to stay the same no matter what the past learns”.

My Take: I think this is very well done and the author definitely makes this genre their own in an exciting way. The additions to the book in this are thought-provoking and well-crafted. 

4.) TBD

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Triwizard Tournament:

1.) ✨ The Videus Charm by OfPensandSwords

P: Mainly Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, but there is a light smattering of one-sided Cedric Diggory/Harry Potter and Dean Thomas/Harry Potter

R: Fiction T

WC: 126,669

Chapters: 26

Description: “Some may consider him useless, but Ludo Bagman has been absolutely inspired by muggle sports channels. As a result, a camera charm has been created. It is ready to catch all the action of the Triwizard Tournament and broadcast it into every home over Wizarding Europe. Now Harriet is on the big screen, and the crowd is going to see a lot more than they bargained for. FEM/Harry”.

My Take: This fanfiction was brilliant, I loved the concept of the Triwizard Tournament being broadcast through magic to everyone in the wizarding world. It was raw, innovative, and very hard to put down.

2.) TBD

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Time Travel:

1.) ✨ *Naturally by romanticangel92

P: (Newt Scamander/Harry Potter),(Fred Weasley/Harry Potter)

R: T

WC: 80k+

Description: “Time Travel. Fem! Harry. HP/NS. A badly timed wish, a mysterious mirror and Harriet Potter's knack for trouble equal one unexpected trip to the past...naturally. Dropping into the lap of a young Newt Scamander was the last way she had expected her day to end but Harry soon learns that maybe fate intervened for a reason. \\COMPLETE/”.

My Take: This was a fascinating concept, one that I have not quite come across yet. It was well-paced, and I love how the characters were written. It was very hard to stop reading as each new chapter made me compulsively want to know what happened next and how the wild ride would end. It was an innovative piece that jerks the heart strings and keeps the reader on their toes.

2.) TBD

[thevagabondexpress]

a textbook case of not understanding your own characters, or, jordelia won't last under the parameters canon set out for them. some issues a tsc fan sees in tsc, pt. iv

Lemme paraphrase: I love Jordelia. I do. I love James and Cordelia and their crazy, beautiful, broken love story. That being said, James Herondale and the narrative are not nearly as healthy as we think they are and Cordelia's not going to stay in this situation long. Well, not in canon, under the parameters and presumptions the canon has laid out for them. I cannot picture Cordelia Carstairs wanting to be a mother under the circumstances presented in canon and the fact that Cassandra Clare leaves us with the assumption that she will be is deeply disturbing proof that she doesn't have any in-depth understanding of the characters she created. I give you a summary this time because the full analysis deals with issues of consent both dubious and completely nonexistent, and with pregnancy, and I'm sure some of y'all are not going to be comfortable with that.

part one: cordelia couldn't give informed consent in chain of thorns

"Cordelia had heard things whispered among other girls…but she still had little idea what happened in the marriage bed." —Cassandra Clare, Chain of Iron, pg. 110 in my copy.

"I will marry some other man, and he will know I was married to you. He will expect me to know how to kiss, and—do other things." —Cassandra Clare, Chain of Iron, pg. 363 in my copy

At no point after this is Cordelia shown to receive any kind of Talk whatsoever from anyone. The consent she gave in the scene in Chain of Thorns was uninformed. And uninformed consent is, surprise, not actually consent. Also, James knew this. He knew she didn't know anything. And he went ahead with it anyway.

part two: motherhood

Look me in the eyes and tell me that Cordelia Carstairs shows any indications in her canonical personality of being someone who wants to be a mother.

Firstly, she has a very busy, slightly wild, and yet also deeply disciplined lifestyle. Visits to the Hell Ruelle, hours of training, a deep emotional connection to the blade she wields, and a lifelong goal of being a hero. A merciful hero. She also takes two different partners in the course of the series (James and Matthew), suggesting in my eyes from the way in which she goes about this that potentially she might be open to polyamory. None of this is really a lifestyle conducive to babies. They take up too much time, too much money, and too much physical space. They're not conducive to polyamorous relationships where your partners aren't living under the same roof, you can't just leave them at one house to go stay with your other partner neither can you just shuffle them around with you when you move. And unlike Lucie, whose primary lifelong passion, writing, is something that can be done at home in the brief snatches of time when one is free, Cordelia doesn't have any hobbies that she could continue to do despite the sheer time that raising a child takes up. She'd have to give up everything but reading and playing chess and those are not enough.

Secondly, she watched in real time as her mother put aside everything, including her own mental health and wellbeing, to raise two children. She watched Sona give up the things she loved, choose to stay with an abusive husband, stop patrolling and fighting, and eventually waste away into a sickly hollow shell of herself. Her closest, most formative experience of motherhood paints it as a traumatic, exhausting, demoralizing, and restricting condition that forces you to give up your chosen lifestyle, your hobbies, and eventually your sense of identity and pride as an individual for the sake of your children.

I cannot, under these circumstances, imagine that Cordelia would find the idea of putting her own life aside for the sake of babies an appealing one. I imagine if you brought up children with her, the answer would be a resounding no. I can practically see the way she'd wrinkle her nose at the idea.

And yet, I don't see any other male Herondales forthcoming. If Cassandra Clare's canon is to be believed Cordelia must be the mother of at least one child so that the family line can continue.

Third. We know, as explained in part two, that Cordelia never received proper education and can't give informed consent. And James and Cordelia played very fast and loose with the concept of safety in the scenes we got in Chain of Thorns.

Is this what happens? Is this how we get a Herondale family line? Does Cordelia become a mother without consenting to it? I can't imagine she'd want to stay in that situation very long. I certainly cannot see her wanting to raise the child. I don't want this to be the case. I don't want to see her leaving James to raise his son alone while she escapes, hurt, to nurse her wounds and rage at him from somewhere safe. But unless we're given another Herondale like we got Alex for the Lightwoods, I don't see any happier ending for James and Cordelia.

part three: in conclusion All this to say, Cassandra Clare doesn't really understand Cordelia Carstairs. She created a character whose situation suggests she'd have no interest in motherhood, and then forced motherhood upon her. This is not the only time she's misunderstood Cordelia either. In Chain of Gold she's shown to be impulsive, but she's also shown to be a woman of action and anger, not a woman of passivity and tears. If Cordelia remained in character throughout Chain of Thorns, when she saw James and Grace in the foyer at the end of the book she would have come marching downstairs to demand to know Just what the hell is going on here? Instead, Clare chooses to have her…run away. Why? Because it gets her quickly to the next plot point, I guess. Despite the fact that this is decidedly not the Cordelia Carstairs that I know. And this isn't the only character she's lacked understanding of, or forced out of character for the sake of the plot. Cordelia and motherhood is simply the most grievous and, quite frankly, disturbing example.

"some issues a tsc fan sees in tsc" is an attempt to break down the unacknowledged things in tsc that i unearthed reading chain of thorns, rereading the rest of the series in preparation for it, and writing two longform fanfics (one of them a genderbent canon reworking) for the last hours. click on the "some issues..." tag to see more of these.

[anightmarethisdamage]

Medusa MV Reactions Part 2

Anyway I'm not going to lie, I thought this was Sangwoo's grave... :o

Rip.

This reminds me of the Cicada ARG.

I also find it interesting that the Medusa place is a carwash - with water (duh) which could be used as a mirror to stop Medusa from turning you to stone. We could also see the TV screen earlier as a way to stop her turning you to stone - hence why the boys just got... brainwashed? De-brainwashed? Whatever it was.

Omg Medusa's drug dealing water now!

I love the travelling motifs like cars, petrol stations, hotels etc, but I just cannot suspend disbelief enough to think they got such a nice car without stealing or murder.

Why does he look so fascinated lmao?

OMG WATER!

Bain got to water his plant! Or did he....?

Yeah how about no he didn't?

Dude my jaw dropped when I saw this shot. The MV could have ended with Bain recycling his water bottle, but this one shot recontextualises the whole thing. As you may know, since I stan JUST B, I am a massive fan of time loops and nonlinear narratives. And if there is one thing to take away from this MV - it's that in Tick Tock we saw the butterfly effect happening - and now they've done something that butterfly-effected them into a timeloop dream state. I would say 'like idiots,' but this happens to a lot of people apparently, so they're just regularly stupid.

This also creates a lot of engagement in the MV because we now wonder - how do they get out? Which is the dream? Are they both the same reality or not? Is this real or not? And so on. I think I've offered good hypotheses in my analysis but the only real way to get an answer is next comeback... which... I mean, since this one took 11 months we have no clue when the next one will happen, if at all.

Sorry to be a downer.

I loved the song, anyway.

Let's look at the lyrics!

Lyric Analysis

Yep, so straight off the bat there's a lot of imagery of violence, suffering, conflict etc - talking about predators, starving, killing, etc - and also division - they are divided, either from each other or the rest of the world.

Then there's the fixing of the division - through the rain that washes the memories away - ironic, since there's no water in the MV - and then the connection - riding high beside you and throwing your old memories away, breaking your painful past to come out new.

I like how they say 'in the darkness, you're my Medusa' - in classic JUST B fashion, with insane depth. Medusa could be beautiful, she could also be ugly. But whatever she is, she is dangerous, and this is reflected in the MV - the rain is supposed to bond them to their Medusa and get rid of the division - but there is no rain - it's all in their head - they are being deceived by her and in the end end up with nothing - no water, no love no nothing.

Not going to lie, with the whole 'drop the pain on me' and 'I'll break the thorny barriers around your heart,' they sound a little masochistic. Mind you, this is something we've seen before with JUST B - probably related to the trauma of DAMAGE.

I like how JM's bridge-postchorus thing is distorted too - shows the effect that Medusa has on them. Also, how they then literally say 'I can't look away,' like, yeah, you can't, you're literally stone, my guy.

Medusa also recontextualises the 'don't break down' at the end - because they are stone, they can literally be broken and shattered.

So - conclusions about the lyrics. As always, they are amazing and have some hidden meaning. However, I think they really shine with the MV, rather than by themselves, as lyrics like DAMAGE do. Medusa is on paper, a lovesong with some potentially sinister meaning. But the MV takes that gothic, sinister nature up the the next degree. Not only is there no rain and no water, only desert and suffering, but there is also no sign of love or relief from this suffering. There are also wonderfully amazing moments like the line 'You're the medusa in my darkness,' - suggesting a saviour - while Bain is literally crying over not having water - hence, no saviour. It reveals how the boys have been blinded to the dangerous nature of their situation, and it's quite frankly amazing how the MV contradicts the lyrics of the song to tell a story. 10/10.

Conclusions

An amazingly Gothic story, as expected from JUST B. It carries on both from the 'JUST B' series and from Naneun, continuing the story while also creating it's own self-contained and intriguing story. It leaves us with many questions and a few potential answers, and uses the juxtaposition of lyrics and video to further show the themes of the story in an amazing way. Could it be better? Sure. But I'll always have my own directions I want the storyline to go and they won't be the ones BlueDot takes. It's still a very solid addition to their discography and I know I'll be playing this song on repeat for ages, singing my heart out like Geonu.

[campbluelake]

Love Is Watching Someone Die || Trial Reaction || Goku

Ah.  Leon had forgotten about this part.  It’s awful, it’s torturous, how seeing Warrick’s face makes him perk up, how it quells his sobs.  How his heart flutters, before it can even clench in anticipation for what he knows is coming.  It delights in his voice, cruelly etching every detail of this exchange in his mind.

The first blow is enough to make Leon wince, but he watched every other recap.  It would be rude to be inconsistent.  It would be rude to not memorize Warrick’s agony as his life is violently robbed from him.

If this were any other case, any other victim, Leon might find himself sympathizing with (but certainly not relating to) Jo.  Humanizing her.  Finding reason in her murders.  They’re justifiable, with the right context.  He’d even find it fascinating, from a dramatic analysis standpoint.

It’s so exciting!!  Seeing how the tragic circumstances of one’s upbringing can culminate into such a beautifully flawed character!!  How her fathers could try their best, with what they have, and still create something that induces so much….

“… You….”

So much… hmm, the word escapes him.

“You….. you………. you……”

One hand twitches against Abigail’s, and the other finds it’s way to Alice’s.  He turns his head, looking down and around in disbelief, but it’s clear that this is the only movement he really seems to be capable of– whether it’s grief exhaustion or Ranger Buddy’s anti-violence enchantment is anybody’s guess. 

Once he finds his voice, there’s a rawness to it that hardly sounds like him.

“…. After….. after all that….”

He knew someone like Jo, once.  Not a serial killer, no– but the similarities, in all their pathetic abundance, are enough to remind him of the stove, and his hand welding to it, somehow still too hot to touch after burning for years.

But he realizes that it is not a stove.

It is magma.

And it is consuming him.

And, in this moment, it’s easy.  It’s so easy to be consumed.  It’s so easy to forsake the character profile he’s built for these trials, because the farthest thing from his mind is finding purpose in Warrick’s murder. 

You see, the word he was looking for comes to him.  It rolls over him, igniting his lungs to the point where he can no longer suffer it quietly.

“……. He was already down……..”

After all, if he cannot satisfy the depths of love in his heart…

“….. And you……….”

Then he will simply indulge the rage.

“I DON’T GIVE A DAMN WHAT YOUR NAME IS!!  After- after ALL THIS.  You have the f- THE GALL to ask for LOVE?  T-to ASK FOR FRIENDS?  To, to, to, to BE UNDERSTOOD?  TO BE HUMAN?”

Leon has never felt angry before– not in any remarkable way that he can recall, anyway.  He’s had angry roles before, managed the balance of voice projection (sorry, by the way, to those near him), perfected the art of body language.

But none of that serves him, here, on a stage where he can hardly move.  Hardly see.  Hardly breathe. 

“I swear- I SWEAR- I SWE-E-EAAR to GOD–”

He’s shaking his head now, mercifully unable to squeeze either hand at his side.  He wishes he had the presence of mind to deliver the monologues that his friends are capable of– to give proper voice to whatever is eating a hole through his lungs.

“WARRICK!  YOU CAN SEE THIS, RIGHT??  I TOLD HER TO HAVE A STUPID GHOST PROM WITH TOMMY.  I NEED YOU TO CRASH IT.”

He’s panting now, lungs flapping pathetically to smother the inferno wreaking havoc through his torso.

“… But… don’t crash it too hard.  I don’t want to hurt Tommy’s feelings.”

Let us not forget in this moment, that this is Leon.

[caribouv]

Been malding over how bad console-based 3d rpgs for like two decades now, how they're ruining video games. This Harry Potter game is as good as any reason for me to vent, lash out, and write it all up.

To get the obvious out of the way: JK Rowling is a violent transphobe. She targets trans women knowing her followers will ping off her and harass them. Buying this new game puts money in her pocket which she sees as support for this violence. Buying this games supports violence against transwoman. Also, learn to fucking pirate bay if you really want to play it. And yet, for all the reasons below, trust me you don’t. 

Console-based 3d rpgs are shit. They are shit because a console controller is shit. A console controller takes your 10 fingers and cuts 6 of them off. This leaves you with 4. This creates a huge load of problems. I love n64. I grew up on n64. And yet, when console tried to push 3d rpgs they were shit. All the problems with modern based 3d rpgs can be traced back to the horrendous 3d rpgs of the n64. All the problems outlined below existed then and they do now.

4 fingers is not not enough to control a character in 3d. You need both thumbs to move and look around. This leaves you with nothing to hit abilities with. So you have to flick your right thumb back and fourth, back and fourth. It's clunky and slow and not fluid.

Consoles tried to get around this by introducing things such as sticky combat or sticky cover. This dumbed the fuck out of games because they're not freeform anymore. You stick to something, can't look around, control gets limited, and now it's clunky as hell. Take someone like Counter Strike or Quake and compare it to Gears of War. One is fluid and smooth while the other is almost turn based with how clunky and you're a dumbass glue boy that sticks to everything.  

Proof: look at every speed run world record for any Dark Souls game. They are all set by mouse/keyboard peripheries. Look at any FPS tournament: the esports players are using mouse/keyboard. Hell, whenever I see a console loser in DBD or Sea Thieves I cackle like a swamp hag on meth because it means easy meat.

The other problem with only having 4 fingers is that all systems get dumbed down. You want crafting? Cool, it's going to get dumbed down because of how hard it is to navigate menus, find objects, combine ingredients, add enchantments, etc. You cannot have complicated systems with only four fingers. Skill webs or skill trees? Sorry you get a one-dimensional skill line. Play Divinity Sin 2 on PC v. console to see what I mean. Console based 3d rpgs will make the game and system for ease on a console, then port to PC later, which means everything will be dumbed down and simple.

The abilities are also limited with only 4 fingers. ABXY is it. Maybe hold a bumper or trigger as a modifier. Compare to a 110 keyboard with CTRL+SHIFT+Alt modifiers, rebinding keybinds, etc. You begin to see how a console will dumb everything down to fit into the narrow ABXY concept v. it's master-race 110 God.

To further elaborate this point, console players are getting pissed and seeing how even console games are getting dumbed down by mobile games. Take the 4 fingers of consoles with its limitations in systems, and dumb them down even more to cater to mobile gamers.

So then because the above means console based 3d rpgs are shit, they focus instead on graphics. Beef the ever loving shit out of graphics to make a catchy 2 minute gameplay video or sample at whatever gamescon. Hide all relevant gameplay video or sincere analysis of systems. It's just a Marvel movie now with no depth or substance. And then ignorant consumer whore masses will buy because they are too stupid to realize other.

Graphics are, quite frankly, the bane of all video games. An entire budget goes into this while story and systems are left out. This makes games incredibly bad. To illustrate: what's one's favorite game and why? Chances are it's an "older" game with outdated graphics and it's a favotie game because of gameplay/story content, not because of visuals.

Do not get me wrong: graphics serve a purpose. There's a spectrum to what we will enjoy and what we will not. It should serve a utility to the game to enhance the systems or story, not the other way around. This is why games like Ultima Online, Warcraft3, WOW, Pokemon, FF7, and Minecraft are widley considered the greatest games ever made. The graphics are stylzed and last into perpetuity as they serve to give something generally nice to look at within the incredibly content based gameplay and systems. Games like COD or whatever the top selling shit on PS5 is right now will be forgotten in five-month like whatever dumb number of apple brick is on the shelf right now.

Consoles do one thing right: and that's basically every game ever made for the SNES or GBA. 2d games. PC cannot generally not compete with 2d games. Side-scrollers, 2d isometic, 2d fighting, etc. I think the one exception would be racing games. Because of the simplicity of driving, it's the one 3d game that consoles do very, very well. Consoles need to stay in their fucking lane.

So given this, and looking at the new Harry Potter game, this shit isn't even worth pirating. It's a typical console-based 3d rpg and it is going to be fucking trash. You can tell because it's so incredibly hard to find actual gameplay footage of anything. All the videos they allowed to be released are just prepacked eye candy nonsense. AKA shit ass Marvel movie trailers.

I was actually able to find 1 (one, just one) gameplay video and everything I said above is so spot on. It's built for console with PC as afterthought which means everything is shit. Basic crafting system (if you can even call it that) with no depth. Sticky combat that is clunky as hell. Clunky movement that's almost like moving an oil tanker around instead of a person. Terrible 3d controls. No customization of interface or interaction with the map. One dimensional dialogue with no choices. One way to solve everything. Basic combat damage computations. No skill line or character customization. Narrow ass story (which is the story of a working class uprising told form the perspective of a bootlicking cop / bourgeoisie) where you walk in a straight line and that's it. Oh but I guess the graphics are so good!

So yah, this shit isn't even worth pirating. Fuck console based 3d rpgs.

[citadelspires]

P1 - Given how great you're track record's been for doing hypothetical interactions of Amphibia kids with the Duck kids and Owl House kids, let's try doing the Duck kids meeting the Owl House kids and who they'd like the best. I'll exclude Violet for this for the sake of evenening things out 5 to 5. I'd assume Luz would get along best with Dewey (both jump into adventure), King with Louie (could see em teaming up for a scheme), Willow with Huey (eh, more leftover interaction but can work)

Screenshot of second half of the ask provided. Text: P2 Gus with Webby (would totally ask each other lots of questions about their species), and Amity with Lena (both got abusive figures they stood up to and would totally talk about their crushes on Luz and Webby LOL). Would love to see you take on Duck kids and Owl House kids interactions.

First of all I’m very pleased to hear you find my track record on these posts good, they’ve been really fun to write and it makes me really happy people like them! Second I am so sorry it’s taken so long to get to this ask, it’s a really in depth one and it took a long time to write, I hope you’ll find it was worth the wait!

Aight! Oh and one last thing real quick before I get into it. I hope you wouldn’t mind me adding Violet back in, partially due to the fact I love her, but mostly because there’s actually another owl house character I think works significantly better with Louie than anyone else and I really want the chance to talk about that. Saving that one for last hehe. This’ll be another long one, writing below the cut.

Luz and Webby So I do like a lot of the possible interactions brought up by your suggested grouping but my mind went in a few different directions. I’ll start with Luz, who would fit in best with another excitable adventuring partner, as pointed out, but I think the best fit for her in that regard would actually be Webby. While Dewey would no doubt get along great with Luz, there’s a special element to the potential relationship between Luz and Webby that really elevates the potential of their friendship to another level, that being: they both want to eat a hamburger.

An aspect of Webby I wish the later seasons of the show got into a little more, but is definitely something I would consider a core part of her character, is the fact that she got held up in the mansion her whole childhood, with no opportunities to interact with the world around her, have all the adventures she wanted, and most importantly to just be seen as the kid she wanted to be. And while Luz was technically able to go out into the world, the place she found wasn’t one that was willing to see her, or give her any of the chances she longed for. Both Webby and Luz fully understand that feeling of being trapped in your own life, of finally getting the chance to break out and just doing your best to make the most of it. I think there’s a lot the two could gain from spending some time together.

(Also, to borrow the bit about gushing about their crushes but from the other end, these two would totally get sidetracked talking about their respective crushes and also trying to play wingman for each other. It’s a massive comic disaster in both cases, but somehow both Lena and Amity manage to find it endearing).

Amity and Violet Okay wait lemme explain. While the two of them don’t have a whole lot in common at first glance, I think they would genuinely get along extremely well. While a lot of Amity’s focus on school came at the force of her parents, you cannot honestly expect me to believe that girl isn’t a studious nerd on her own anyway. Heck even outside the realm of studies she throws her full dedication into literally every single thing she does. Remind you of anyone? Beyond just being extremely intelligent Violet is clever and ready for anything. She takes everything in stride and always has a plan, she can go from “we were sleeping over and you said everybody get on the plane, so we got on the plane” to “I brought an axe” in a minute flat.

I like to think the two of them would have a mutual respect for each other based on their respective intellects upon first meeting, but as they become closer friends they find they can move from more serious respect to a casual enjoyment of each other. I would go as far as to say that both of these characters really value dependability in a friend, and that they each provide a lot of that. To wrap back around to the stuff about intelligence I think Violet could provide a lot of insight to Amity as far as showing her that pursuing studies and academic heights of her own volition can be something that she can just do because she wants to, and that’s no excuse for unhealthy parental relationships. Getting along so well with someone like Violet only to see that her parents are actually really loving and supportive, that would be really eye-opening for Amity I think. For Violet’s part she could get a lot of help from Amity as far as her pursuit of the secrets of magic goes. I suspect Amity would be much more interested in the study of her magic than Violet would be able to get Lena to tolerate lol.

Bonus Round: Amity would absolutely be a senior junior woodchuck and she would love it you cannot convince me otherwise. She starts quoting the JWGB around the owl house kids and they all look at her like she’s crazy.

Lena and Willow I feel like this one might seem a little out there at first but trust me on this one. Initially Lena doesn’t think too much of Willow, being as close as she is to Webby she knows liking flowers and cute things doesn’t mean Willow is automatically to be taken lightly but she feels like she’s got a good read on her that she generally prefers to avoid trouble and turns down opportunities for violence, which isn’t really Lena’s deal. Over time Lena figures she was right about her first impressions as Willow doesn’t seem to take many opportunities to expose some hidden power, even when Lena knows the people around her kinda deserve it.

She learns to adjust her opinion when she finally does get the chance to see Willow in action and realizes that girl is more powerful than any of the other kids she’s met in the boiling aisles bar none(yes this is my genuine opinion of willow if you don’t think she could kick your ass you’re wrong). It’s at that moment where she starts to pay more attention to Willow and notices a lot more of the strength she puts into all the little things, how much she cares for everyone and everything, and it does a great deal to show Lena that maybe having super strong magic powers isn’t mutually exclusive with being kind and gentle. And maybe gentle isn’t her thing but still, it’s nice to know.

For Willow’s part she’s just happy to make more friends. Especially if the opportunity arises, as I like to think it would, when they’re close enough friends, that Lena would start to hint around asking questions about how Willow remains so casual and nice with the ability to do so much damage, and Willow takes the chance to help Lena figure out her magic a bit more, and learn how to better appreciate it as an aspect of herself she doesn’t have to be scared of. (I mean come on Lena never really learned how to do any of it except barely kind of from Magica of all people she could really  use something like that).

Huey and Gus Now there are some certain things about Gus that would drive Huey absolutely nuts. His lack of primary and reliable sources for any of his information being a big one, but at the end of the day I think he’d enjoy Gus’ desire to learn in the first place. Gus would probably be a little dubious about Huey’s “sources” and “citations” but if it helped him get more info on the human realm he’d certainly go for it in the end. In that way the two balance each other out pretty well. Gus is studious and intelligent but he’s a little off the wall, he’s got a big creative streak, and he’s really excitable. Huey is really really good at facts and analysis but he lacks the strength in imagination that Gus has. Huey is able to take all the grandiose concepts Gus is able to think up and help make them actually happen. Gus has that specific brand of an adventurers soul matched up with the fact he’s not actually the type to get into danger and fights, meaning he’s able to drag Huey out of his comfort zone a little and help him reach new heights with his mind that his struggles with creativity prevent him from reaching, while managing to not make him feel like he’s actually in danger. I actually believe the two of them together could get some really incredible stuff done.

What I’m saying is that with Huey’s help Gus could absolutely complete his tunnels under Hexside.

Dewey and King Now this, this is the pair who would go incredibly well together, at the detriment of literally everyone around them. If there is one person King “I Will Rule Everything” Clawthorne should not be exposed to its Dewey Duck. Within minutes of meeting each other the two of them would immediately have so many bad ideas. Between Dewey’s insistence on being the best and most daring adventurer while putting his name on everything and going down in history & King’s trying to rule everything and everyone, the attempts to raise the stakes would be constant and the two would spend literal hours endlessly trying to one-up each other. All in one day they search for legendary treasure, discover an entirely new civilization, try to take over said civilization, create a new species just to name it after themselves, and build statues of themselves in the middle of Bonesbourough. And that’s all before lunch.

Louie Here it is. The one I waited till the very end for out of sheer excitement. I even kept the second name out of the heading thing. That’s how secretive I’m trying to be about this. See, there’s one character in the owl house that works so well with Louie it’s practically canon. Their interactions have so much potential, they each bring so much to the table, I just couldn’t Not talk about it. And yeah, I know this ask was specifically asking about the owl house and ducktales kids, but I just couldn’t resist talking about the relationship between Louie and Eda.

A con artist from another world who was so successful she became nationally famous? There’s no way Louie would pass up an opportunity like that. For his part I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s already managed to set up another underworld identity in the boiling aisles, or at the very least that Eda could totally have been to the ducktales realm and heard of his one there.

Either way I’m convinced the two of them would start planning a heist as soon as they figure out who each other are. Eda is a little prideful and wants to show this kid he can’t out-con her, but Louie knows what he’s doing just as much. Honestly with the two of them combined Eda wouldn’t have to worry about losing her stand for a long time. Over the course of their planning and seeing Louie in action Eda begrudgingly gains some respect for the  kid, and while Louie was definitely just using her as a learning/profit opportunity at first, he’s pretty susceptible to getting attached.

For Louie, it’s the fact that she actually respects him for being good at what he does. Even back with his family who all love and care about him and all that he still feels like most of them don’t really get what he does or see what’s special about him, so having someone who made a whole life of it be even a little proud of him feels really nice.

And of course, at the end of their heist when they finally have the money in hand, and Eda just casually hands over his half, he stares at her like she’s crazy.

“You’re just.. Giving it to me?!”

“Well, yeah. That was the deal wasn’t it kid? I mean if you really want I definitely have a few ideas for it.”

“No! Uh, no, thanks, I’ll keep it. It’s just that you really remind me of someone, I guess I was expecting something else.”

[saber-of-dreams]

Lamentis - An Analysis

If we’re being honest here, there’s probably enough material to look at the entire episode in extensive detail, but that would take forever and I’ve got work tomorrow.  Funny story - I had originally put “A Brief Analysis” in the title...then I realized it wasn’t actually brief anymore.  😀

So for now, I wanted to do a quick analysis of the scenes between Loki and Sylvie once they make it onto the train, because this is where the whole dynamic between them shifts.

It’s interesting that we start out talking about Frigga - about family.  Loki’s biggest soft spot.  Especially now that he’s seen what happens to him in his original timeline, and now that he understands that his family did in fact love him.  

And we see how having them - Frigga, in particular, has affected Loki’s development.  Not just his skill in magic, but his true nature.  He becomes noticeably softer, gentler, when he talks about his adopted mother.  Whatever the circumstances, he truly loved her.  And although this Loki never made it to that point where he sent her to her death, he still knows that he would have done it.  And he still feels that regret.  This is also echoed in the first episode when he reads about the destruction of Asgard.  Family is family, regardless of your blood.

We also figure out Sylvie pretty quickly here too.  We see that she is abysmally lonely.  Jumpy.  Untrusting.  And then we find out that she never really knew her family, but that they had the decency to tell her she was adopted and allow her to process that information positively as a child.  It’s an interesting parallel for them both - Loki who grew up with the family, but didn’t know he was adopted, and Sylve who grew up knowing she was adopted, but lost her family so early.  Equal but opposite.

This is all perfectly encapsulated in that moment where Loki does the mini fireworks for her.  It’s a genuine gesture meant to do nothing but make her smile, and pull her out of the dark place she seems to have gone.  And it works.  

And then he follows it up with a genuine question about her own powers.  And you can hear the amazement, the respect, in his voice when she explains that she taught herself.  

We then move almost directly into the subject of love.  And again, we see the juxtaposition of their two lives.  Loki having relationships/lovers but no real depth and Sylvie having no real relationships at all, possibly only physical experience - the non-attached variety (in case that wasn’t obvious from the dialogue).  

The key piece of dialogue here?  Loki saying “Nothing ever...” and Sylvie supplying the word to finish the thought - “real.”

Love is kind of like a recipe.  You need a few key ingredients, in just the right measure added just the right way to create something truly spectacular.

See here’s the thing - it is so much harder to see someone as an enemy, when you know them.  Maybe you don’t know everything.  But you know enough.  You understand.  Ingredient one - compassion/understanding.  Again, we see that here.  You have to know someone.  And that requires honest engagement.  No masks.  No lies.  Just blatant, heart-wrenching truth.  Family.  Love.  

You also need respect.  Genuine, un-assuming, respect for another person.  For their abilities/skills/personality traits - doesn’t matter.  But if you don’t respect them - you don’t love them.  Now obviously it takes a while to develop true respect for someone, but again, this scene is the start of that for them.  

Loki is impressed by Sylvie’s ability to teach herself magic, and Sylvie is impressed by Loki’s obvious skill with illusion.  And given the multiple fights the two have had, I would imagine they see each other as competent fighters.  Not to mention their various plans to get them to this stage working out/working together.

Okay.  I’m going to step away from the recipe we’re crafting here for a moment so I can talk about The Song - part deux (I did a brief analysis on that yesterday).  But instead of analyzing the content of the song this time, I want to analyze the moments around it.

Now, Sylvie wakes up in the middle of it, so I sincerely doubt that Loki started singing it with any deliberate attempt to serenade her - but - when she wakes up?  And he notices?  He immediately turns to her - and sings the true centerpiece of the song (the adventurer/warrior trying to find his way back to the maiden who waits for him) directly at her.  Literally.  He turns his body to face her directly.  He sings to her.  And you know, literally dedicates the song to her when he’s done.

You know that bubbly, excited feeling you get, when you start crushing on someone?  That joy that just kinda...makes everything a little brighter?  That’s Loki here - aided by quite a bit of alcohol.  He has dropped his walls, and is trying to let Sylvie in.  He has been nothing but honest with her since they got on the train, and he’s starting to develop real feelings for her.  I think their conversation really made him see that - not that he actually consciously understands that (that doesn’t happen until next episode when Mobius has to actually spell it out for him).

Sylvie?  She thinks he’s an idiot.  Being the center of attention like that?  Actively seeking out that attention?  Completely foreign to her.  And, as she points out, someone noticed him and goes to tip off the real guards.  But the other thing here is - this dynamic also foreshadows episode 6 - Loki is focused on Sylvie, and on helping others (i.e. when he finds out the TVA agents are all varients too).  Sylvie is focused on her mission to the exclusion of all else - regardless of the feelings that she too may be developing for him.  Interestingly, I noticed a super tiny smile on Sylvie’s face when Loki said “To Sylvie, everybody!” 

Now, Loki’s lines about love being a dagger are very interesting.  Not only is it a great way to see how he perceives the emotion, but it’s also a really nice metaphor for the two of them.  

Love is a dagger.

It’s a weapon.  

To be wielded.

Far away - or up close

You can see yourself in it.

It’s beautiful.

Until it makes you bleed.

Okay.  Back to our recipe.

You need an intersection point - where two opposing people with two opposing ideals meet in the middle.  But.  That intersection?  It has to be mutual and it has to be consensual.  You have to be willing to meet someone else half way - to attempt to see things from their perspective, before you step forward.

You cannot force someone to see past their own blindness.

Loki and Sylvie take that next step in a few parts - and sorry folks, but I’m going to pick this up in a future post.  I just realized how late it is and I do need to be semi-functional for work tomorrow.  

Until next time.  😉

[borat123]

NaruHina Analysis

Naruto Manga Part 1

Part 2

Kiba tries to demoralise Naruto emotionally during their fight and Hinata thinks this. We see here how Hinata has watched how everyone treated Naruto for a very long time and has very deep empathy for him. She has an in depth analysis of his character and sees the true person inside and not a monster. No one in their age group feels this much empathy and understanding for him. She admires his strength and determination, she knows he is strong. She knows the effort involved in getting up when you are despaired. She knows that better than anyone and that’s why she admires Naruto, since she before this moment, wasn’t capable of doing the same thing.

Kishimoto shows us just how well Hinata understands Naruto and whos the most empathetic for him. Everyone else is starting to notice and acknowledge him NOW. Hinata has already acknowledged him waaaaay before this. Even with his flaws she still acknowledge the great person she sees inside. This is true love.

Naruto seeks acknowledgement and is willing to do anything to achieve it. But being an abused orphan his view on love is screwed and he thinks just gaining everyones respect and admiration is enough. And how will he achieve this? Well the Hokage has the highest amount of respect, right? If he becomes Hokage then everyone is forced to acknowledge his existance at last. But what he truly wants is for someone to care for him, acknowledge his true self and love him for who he is, he seeks this because he has never felt it and he wants it. To feel wanted and loved is what he desperately seeks the only way he knows how. Hinata is what Naruto wants, Kishimoto knows this, we know this, but Naruto doesn’t know it yet.

Hinata gives Naruto some healing ointment. She wants to help him but her shyness is hard to overcome. With all her strength she manages to overpower it and holds out the healing ointment for him. Kurenai, being a matured adult and Shino’s observation capacity, inmediatly realize the true meaning behind Hinata’s gesture to Naruto. Naruto turns around to look at her immediatly when she said his name but he gets confused by her kind act. He simply cant believe that someone is nice to him.

Naruto doesn’t understand why Hinata would give this to him. Kurenai helps in the awkward situation and encourages him to take it. It’s actually quite sad that Naruto reacts in this way. It shows just how foreign kind gestures towards him are. He accepts her gift, thanks her and calls her a nice girl. When he’s on his way we see him rub his hand on his back, which is a gesture someone usually does when you’re a little embarresed, but pleased. He also has a big smile on his face. He appreciated her gift and i think that it made him start to really like her. Naruto is not one to often tell someone what he really thinks about them, because he’s afraid people will find out about his insecurities (it’s why he has his tough guy bravado) but he calls her nice and he truly ment it. This is one of the first steps of Naruto’s subconscious love for her, her kindness towards him.

Neji begins to demoralize Hinata, even before the fight has started.

Besides Neji’s hatred for her, she still sees him as a brother.

He makes a psychological analysis of Hinata. Her personality, insecurities and worries. Hinata reveals that she wants to change herself.

Look at Naruto’s reaction. He has the face of someone trying to hide his emotions (his eyes makes it seem like he doesn’t care that much) but he actually looks very serious. He knows how it feels like to want to change yourself. He is in a constant battle within himself for the same reason everyday of his life. Neji thinks that destiny cannot be changed. Both his and Hinata’s are already determined. And Hinata’s destiny says that she will always be a failure, no matter how much she tries to improve.

These words deeply affect Naruto, who sees himself reflected in Hinata. (Much like how he saw Haku as being like him, much like he’ll see Gaara as being like him, he sees part of himself in Hinata)

Neji continues to mentally attack Hinata, and we see how Naruto gets more and more angry. He cant bare to witness this situation in which he feels completly identified with Hinata.

He tries to hold in his anger that is turning so intense that some of the kyuubi features start to appear (kyuubi lips). Seeing this girl that was so kind to him (wanted to help him in the written exam and gave him some healing ointment) and that he can now see himself reflected in being treated this badly makes him so angry that he’s literally shaking and his inner demon of hate is even leaking a little. He knows he cant interfere even though he clearly wants to so he has to hold it in....

But he cant hold it in any longer and he finally explodes. He screams very loadly and tells her ”YOU CAN CHANGE, DONT LISTEN TO HIM”. He then shouts at Neji to stop decide things about people (her) and then encourage Hinata to fight back and stand up for herself, just like he would do. Hinata is mesmerised by Naruto’s sudden words of support and mentally gets herself together and thanks him for snapping out of her depressing state. One must ask themselves if Naruto was only focused on Neji, why did he directly address Hinata when he exploded ”YOU CAN”. It was Hinata he paid attention to, he saw her crying and knew she was in a similar situation as him because of Neji’s words. He also tells her to stand up for herself and fight back, he encourages her and supports her, he believes in her and he hasn’t even seen her fight yet. He’s probably the first to even support her at all actually.

When Hinata’s attitude changes we see Naruto cheer for her with much more enthusiasm and intensity.

But when Hinata’s attack fails and she gets hit by the gentle fist instead, we see how Naruto gets very shocked and sad. Naruto is shown being distraught when things seem not to be going well.

Neji tells her to forfeit, but Hinata is determined, she has adopted the same nindo as Naruto. Naruto thinks that if she gives up, it’s as if he does it too and he is admiting to all the people who call them failures they were right. He wants Hinata to prove this isn’t true. Then he sees her do just that while simultaneously using his own words. Every single day he coexist with people who considers him a failure that will never change. So when he sees Hinata adopting the same attitude as him just by his words, hes a goner. This created a huge impact on him. (Look at his face, he’s completly mesmerised by her (a common theme)).

Naruto reveals that he never knew Hinata was this incredible. He went from thinking she was shy and weird, to then being kind and nice and to know being incredible. That shows how huge an impact this was on him. I find it nice that his peers are suddenly so supportive, Lee says he sees the similarities between them and Sakura even tells him that she has always been watching him. If even their peers notice how Hinata looks at Naruto then you know it’s something special. This is when Naruto really started to notice Hinata.

Look closely at the top right picture of Naruto. You can just make out that he’s actually blushing. He probably thinks ”Why would Hinata be watching me?” But he doesn’t feel uncomfortable but rather intrigued as his emotions heightened.

Look at his reaction when she started to cough up blood. Everyone else didn’t react that much but Naruto looks on the verge of panic. His reactions are very similar to when he recognized that Haku was like him. But even more deeply.

That will be all for this part. Next part i’ll continue with the fight. Here is the previous part if you missed it.

Next part: Part 3

Part 1

[va9art]

I think I’ve been quiet for way too long and I should come back and fangirl about it.

Before I go down the many lines of praises I have to just to let you know all about, all things considered, I think of myself as a huge Dramione fan but one that relatively to the majority of us in the fandom, doesn’t consume just as much.

I read fanfictions, but no that much - I read more books. (those sold on bookshop, you know the old paper concept).

I enjoy HP characters - but I somehow don’t branch out. (I tend to stick way too often with DHr and generally consider branching out when it’s a Draco/Hermione/Theo 🤷‍♀️)

I go crazy mad for certain fanfics too - but somehow I limit myself to rec those ff when asked, and generally leave only kudos.

So, if I’ve learned anything from @winewandsandwafflingpodcast I certainly need to step up my games.

First and foremost:

1. If you happen to read this post, go and click on the tag above, then find the podcast, put your headphone on and press play. Enjoy, darling.

I am now going through the very pleasurable job of catching up with the last few months worth of episodes - that somehow I missed to keep up lately, so typical of me, and I cannot express my gratitude to @frumpologist and her host @ladykenz347 enough for this podcast and their discussions. I am having such a great time listening to you fangirl-ing hard and simultaneously discuss on very deep level the analysis of fics and most importantly the fandom itself! You’re constantly touching important aspects of the world we live in - though only virtually, and I think your critical points of view, together with the voices of guests that you bring from the fandom, are a much needed review that we need to hear, explore and share together. So, really, thank you.

And it’s because of them and their Episode 8, that I finally branch out-branch out. With none other than:

‘The Secretary’ by @pacific-rimbaud

Summary:

Threatened with the loss of her trust fund allowance, wild child Pansy Parkinson takes her mother up on an offer she can't refuse: a job at the Ministry of Magic as personal secretary to tightly wound bureaucrat Percy Weasley.

The job is demanding, and so is her boss, in ways that Pansy never could have imagined.

When their mutual desires begin to spin out of control, how will Pansy convince her boss that sometimes, the only rules you need to follow are your own?

A loving tribute to the pure and criminally underappreciated magic that is the ParkWeasel ship, and the 2002 film Secretary.

Here I come:

This fic had me - all of me: attention, heart, fangirl wailing, all of it, from the very beginning. It shouldn’t really come as a surprise, since I absolutely adore PacificRimbaud’s writing style and stories. I am not quite too sure I can put Party Lines behind this fic, there is no need surely since one is a Dramione (surprise surprise) and the other one is a ParkWeasel, and why shall I even throw in there Major Arcana a Lucius Malfoy/Andromeda Black Tonks? This creator here has an extraordinary ability to make you instantly fall head to toe for rare pairs that you usually forgo, because - really, I know my linkings - and no, you don’t. The second you step into one of her story, the minute you begin to say ‘oh well, but that sounds nice,’ you’re so damn past the point where you can go back to your comfortable pairs, so much so that you might just want to change your introduction on Tumblr and just add the tag ‘whatever PacificRimbaud’s rare-pair present you with - I ship it’. I surely should, because now I’ve just locked eyes with a Draco/Scabior tag and I am trying to stay calm, because truly I should know my bloody likings, shouldn’t I?

I am one that adore, above all, Dom/Sub fictions without any worries to say this out loud, but I understand how this might not be the proverbial beloved cup of tea of one’s likings, so I should explain why this kinky fanfic won’t have you cringe in any possible way. Because she makes it sounds and feels so natural. Your read it and it makes sense. Particularly this fic, has the capacity of introducing a kink at the right moment, cleverly pacing it out throughout its 6 chapters. I liked personally how this was a fiction based on the discoveries of these sexual kinks, more than the narration of such things acted out exclusively. It has psychological description of it that just adds depth to the relationship - one I never even explored once in my life. And that now I’m digging for.

If asked, what’s the one thing that got me widening my eyes and going loudly ‘yessss, girl’, is Percy ending his working day on white paper, miniature crow, flying notes, neat and precise description of what Pansy should wear the next day. Down to her knickers. If you know, you know, if you don’t, read this fanfic right away.

Lastly, this writer here not only has created this (as many others) beautiful piece of fanfic, which I absolutely worship, but has also created an artwork for it! And I find it extremely lovely! I love her style (one that reminds me, and I mean this the outmost respect for both artists, the Fernando Botero’s style) and I feel so much for her that’s she’s written her fic and drawn for it, too. Damn, girl, you rule. (Also, I had the big, massive, apocalyptic magnitude size honour of having inspired her once to write a one off for a piece of art I made and which I am shamelessly going to tag along, because why not, the artwork might be average, but the story’s chef’s kiss! ‘Off the Ground’) Darling, I should have come and praised you high and loud a long time ago - it’s just not my modus operandi of participating in the fandom. But here it is, although you also write some rare-pairs that don’t meet the same degree of visibility and notoriety, as long as it makes you happy participating in it, I’m here for it and extremely grateful for your sharing it with us.

[arrestmebobbygoren]

Queer Theory Song Analysis: 'Tim McGraw' by Taylor Swift

[Verse 1]

He said the way my blue eyes shined

Put those Georgia stars to shame that night

I said, "That's a lie"

Just a boy in a Chevy truck

That had a tendency of gettin' stuck

On backroads at night

And I was right there beside him all summer long

And then the time we woke up to find that summer gone

Since her first single, Taylor has always shown us her world through the queer female gaze. Even when she is describing herself, she writes women in much more vivid detail than she writes her male characters. In Taylor’s sparkling blue eyes, we can see the infinite possibilities of first love. In her voice, we get a sense of her personality – witty, sarcastic, wise beyond her years, sardonic, maybe a little insecure.

The other person, in contrast, who she characterizes as ‘just a boy’, has even less agency than a broken-down truck. The truck, which gets a personality and a brand name, is something we can picture; the boy, however, is notably absent from the verse.

It is worth noting that this song is entirely existing in the head of the narrator, and therefore the truth of most of this narrative cannot be independently confirmed; in fact, the only think we know to be true is that the narrator said out loud “That’s a lie.” We will come back to this later.

[Chorus]

But when you think Tim McGraw

I hope you think my favorite song

The one we danced to all night long

The moon like a spotlight on the lake

When you think happiness

I hope you think that little black dress

Think of my head on your chest

And my old faded blue jeans

When you think Tim McGraw

I hope you think of me

Taylor will often use male placeholders for female-centric experiences. It is interesting that Tim McGraw does not invoke in Taylor any visions or memories of a male lover. What we see, instead, are snapshots of a woman – in a little black dress, in faded blue jeans – and symbolic representations of womanhood – the moon and water are associated with femininity, fertility and female energy.

Also notable here is Taylor’s pronoun usage, and the way she will purposefully muddy the picture that she painted for us. We see the female narrator in blue jeans; but the boy we were introduced to in the first verse is notably absent. Instead, we are given one old character (“I”; the narrator), and one new character (“you”). Though it is possible to infer that the “you” from the chorus and the “he” from the first verse are the same person, the text is not explicit about this. Rather, it obfuscates, changing the point of view. The narrator is no longer describing someone; she is now in dialogue with them.

We are again missing any glimpse of a male lover. Instead, we are given imagery of the narrator’s blue jeans, and a black dress without a wearer. One queer reading of this is that the narrator is picturing two women – herself in jeans (the pronoun associated with the jeans is ‘my’) and her lover in a black dress (the pronoun associated with the dress is ‘you’). Of course, these could both be the narrator’s clothes -- her lover picturing her in a little black dress, and also in her old faded blue jeans; but this interpretation does not take away from the inherent queerness of the chorus, because we are again only seeing depictions of what a woman is wearing, as told by a female narrator. If there is a man in this story, he is not the subject, nor the object of interest.

[Verse 2]

September saw a month of tears

And thankin' God that you weren't here

To see me like that

But in a box beneath my bed

Is a letter that you never read

From three summers back

It's hard not to find it all a little bittersweet

And lookin' back on all of that, it's nice to believe

We could assume that verse two would take us back to “I” and “he”, but instead, the camera stays on the narrator and “you”. (“He” actually never returns, except in the outro, which is a repeat of the start of the first verse). Here, we see the narrator crying (“you” is unaware); and referencing a letter that she wrote three years prior to when this song takes place (“you” is again unaware).

The contents of the letter are never specified, though we can infer that ‘you’ is the subject of the letter; and that, since it is hidden under the narrator’s bed, it’s contents are personal and private – perhaps feelings that the narrator feels that she has to hide -- from others, from ‘you’, and perhaps even from herself.

It is clear is that the narrator has been thinking about ‘you’ for at least three years now, that ‘you’ is now gone, and that their absence has left the narrator bereft. But the last line of the verse again calls the premise of the song into question, when the narrator reflets “it’s nice to believe.”

It may be that the narrator wants to believe that when ‘you’ hears the narrator’s favorite song, ‘you’ will think of her. Or it may be that the narrator wants to believe that the summer she spent with ‘you’, the long-term object of her affections, was real.

It is possible that the summer that the narrator spent with ‘you’ never happened – that the entire thing played out only in the narrator’s dreams and fantasies. It is also possible that the summer did happen, but not as the narrator wishes. Perhaps ‘you’ is a close friend – someone who the narrator had grown up with and who, over the years, the narrator had developed feelings for, though she could barely admit that to herself, let alone speak those feelings aloud. Now, three years later, ‘you’ has left the picture; and the narrator finds it bittersweet that just as she has come to accept herself for who she is and who she loves, her chance to tell ‘you’ how she feels has passed her by.

[Chorus]

When you think Tim McGraw

I hope you think my favorite song

The one we danced to all night long

The moon like a spotlight on the lake

When you think happiness

I hope you think that little black dress

Think of my head on your chest

And my old faded blue jeans

When you think Tim McGraw

I hope you think of me

This chorus reads differently when seen through the lens of fantasy rather than memory. The narrator hopes that the person who has occupied her thoughts for the past three years will remember her when they are gone. And if they do think of her, she hopes they might see her as she had always wanted them to see her – as someone they could fall in love with. The chorus is romanticized and full of longing; it seems that the narrator is now only in dialogue with herself, and it is unclear if she is remembering a dialogue she had with a lover, or creating a dialogue she wishes she could have had with the person she secretly loves.

[Bridge]

And I'm back for the first time since then

I'm standin' on your street

And there's a letter left on your doorstep

And the first thing that you'll read is:

"When you think Tim McGraw

I hope you think my favorite song

Someday you'll turn your radio on

I hope it takes you back to that place"

At last, the narrator has resolved to let ‘you’ know her feelings. Whether she has decided to tell a former lover that she still thinks of them and hopes they still think of her; or whether she has decided to let someone know for the first time the depth of her feelings; or whether she wishes she had the courage or the right set of circumstances to come clean, is up for interpretation. What is clear is that the narrator has had to work to get herself to the place where she can figuratively or literally unbox her feelings – and that she has no idea how her feelings will be received. We are left on the doorstep where the narrator has laid her heart bare, and we are completely in the dark as to how our coming out will be received.

[Chorus]

When you think happiness

I hope you think that little black dress

Think of my head on your chest

And my old faded blue jeans

When you think Tim McGraw

I hope you think of me

Oh, think of me

Mmmm

[Outro]

He said the way my blue eyes shine

Put those Georgia stars to shame that night

I said, "That's a lie"

We are left with the only thing we know to be true about this story – the fact that the narrator declared out loud that something was a lie. It is curious that the only time the narrator calls out something as being a lie is in the first verse and the outro -- the only parts of the song that reference the mysterious and devoid ‘he’.

Perhaps we are to believe that this is a tell -- and the use of the pronoun ‘he’ is a bait-and-switch, intended to wrap the song and the songwriter in a cloak of heteronormativity. It could also be that the entire song is a lie – a creation, a fantasy.

But whether the narrator is reminiscing or dreaming, the one thing that is clear is that the world that Taylor has built for us is female – that the people who are active in this world are women, the people who are doing the gazing are women, the people being gazed at are women; and that any men who inhabit this world are hinted at, but never seen and never heard.

[themountainsays]

It's 3 am and this sounds delirious even to me, but something i've been thinking about is how Elsa's powers are more than just a tool she can use. Like, they're not just random spells or fun tricks, they are part of her, right? They're an extension of her body. They ARE a part of her body. They act like a second set of body language, they move to her own accord, etc etc. And, well, you are your body, right? It's not a human suit you mentally drive, it's an important part of the whole. And even if it was, her powers are clearly deeply connected to her emotions and thought process. And even on a less abstract sense, her magic affects her everyday life and interactions with the rest of the world. They have a profound impact on how others treat her and see her and in how she sees herself. So even if she personally had no i interest in magic, she's still forced to perceive herself through those lenses and move through the world knowing that the identity assigned to her by society is that of a Magical Being, and she couldn't shake that even if society doesn't know about her magic, because they COULD know and her magic COULD POTENTIALLY interact with society and she needs to move through the world with that in mind at all times. And later she embraces that part of herself but also assigns it her own definition. She'll decide what her magic means, not them.

So, she doesn't just "have magic", she is her magic and her magic is her, in the same way that she is her body and her body is her.

But at the same time... this magic is inherently incompatible with urban life. And now i'm getting into headcanon territory, not film analysis, because the films don't go in depth into this, but it makes so much sense to me that she, and her body, and her magic (which is part of her body), simply wouldn't feel comfortable away from nature. Snow is... a very, er, outdoors thing, don't you think? It snows often where I live and seeing the gross wet brown muddy snow in the streets is nothing like seeing this powdery, virgin snow in the mountains. Snow in the city feels like a corruption of nature. Urban life is hostile and antagonistic towards snow, and snow is antagonistic towards urban life. Animals freeze and die, people slip and get hurt, it's too cold to move around comfortably, cars get stuck etc etc. And the heat of the city itself already melts so much of it, turning it into ice and mud and muddy ice, which is Even Worse. Snow and the city cannot coexist comfortably.

And i just can't help but apply that symbolism to Elsa. Seriously. How is she supposed to use her magic inside of Arendelle? Everything would melt and soak the carpets and wallpapers, or the streets would freeze and endanger the citizens. Creating ice inside a building sounds so impractical and uncomfortable and unnatural.

And, yes yes I know the movies work around this like woosh a wizard did it I know this isn't an actual problem in the franchise, but i'm thinking about my fanfiction the ~symbolic implications~ and I think being Not Like The Other Arendellians is very sexy of Elsa.

I just think there's something so beautiful about the idea of Elsa not fitting in in Arendelle for this reason, an abstract feeling of... restriction. Can't do magic there, can't do magic here etc etc. There's something romantic about her belonging in nature, where the magic of winter can be freely unleashed or whatever. If she is her magic, and her magic belongs out there, then it just feels so much more natural.

I'm ultimately happy that she could find a society that wasn't incompatible with snow in it's natural state. The films didn't go into detail, but reindeer herders depend on good snow quality to feed their herd during winter. Global warming has recently been making things difficult, because snow melts quicker and it turns into (you guessed it) stupid fucking ice that completely buries the lichen that would otherwise be easily reached by reindeer if the snow was soft. Not to mention, tracks make it easier to locate the herd etc. Snow good. Humans are capable of living in harmony with snow in nature. Cities are stupid anyway fuck cities all my homies hate cities. So Elsa gets the best of both worlds: she finds freedom to be herself in nature, without the restrictions of an urban life, always capable of sneaking away to be a lonely forest cryptid, WHILE ALSO always having the option to make friends and be part of a community that has no reason to reject her because their way of life isn't incompatible with (her) nature. She can be with them whenever she wants. But she can also visit her hometown anytime she wishes, it's like 5 minutes away on Nøkk express.

What i'm saying is, I love forest cryptid Elsa.

[greengrungeemo]

After completing Higurashi When They Cry Hou - Ch.5 Meakashi... I find it puts everything into perspective. I may need to publish multiple posts just to get it all on paper. This will be my in-depth analysis on it all. Spoiler warning, though, I’ll be as delicate as possible.

I can definitely say that this chapter was composed with the most raw of emotions, and succinctly denotes the decline of human mentality.

From the beginning of the story, I already caught the fidgety nature of Shion - the moment she escapes from the school, she has an underlying anxiety shielded by her flirty and playful character. What I found most fascinating was her notebook entries, notably pg. 5, pg. 19, pg. 26, pg. 150, and pg. 165, illustrated below. She records her thought-process and developing emotion as it goes. It’s all captured there. The curiosity of the warm, fuzzy feelings that are occurring. The discovery of being in-love. Pinpointing what captures her heart about him. The impending loss and coping with it. The lack of coping and driver of action. The inevitable despondence and despair. After all information is collected, and once the well is dry of clues, then ignites the blame game. With blame comes condemnation and spite... and with growing spite comes aggression and violence. With aggression and violence comes ensuing mortality, and with murder comes far more mental noise and sanity loss.

It’s like a full circle of true bliss and happiness devolving into agony and insanity. Happier than you ever were before... then it’s all taken from you, stripped away, and buried into questions that cannot be answered no matter how much effort you put. It’s no wonder Satoshi’s loss added such powerful strain on Shion Sonozaki... To deal with those raw emotions? Once logic and problem-solving measures yields no results, that’s when a clear picture becomes exponentially blurred, only intensifying the more you fall deeper into it. I caught myself mentally telling her, “Slow down, Shion. You’ll have your answers soon enough. Some things cannot directly be changed in the world. Some circumstances cannot have intervention.”

Based on how she describes Satoshi is contrast to Keiichi, it’s evident what her type of man is. Once she found him, it’s only him now. No other man can compare. Satoshi is gentle, naïve, airheaded in many facets of life (including but not limited to, ordinary activities like shopping or sports), softhearted, higher empathy than most, and unfortunately suffers a lot mentally due to abuse at home, among other things. This fits all of what Shion loves, and due to her protective and obsessive nature, him suffering furthers her love and dominance over him and his affairs.

That said, there’s also a dominate vs. dominant complex going on. While she feels prowess in aiding and advising Satoshi on typical no-brainer tasks, he still has a dominating feature which conversely is his gentle pets. It freezes her on the spot and she’s instantly incapsulated by his touch. It’s so sweet. A beautiful dynamic unlike any other I ever witnessed.

As the feelings of love flourishes, so too do the feelings of growing spite and hatred towards all who oppose or negatively affects Satoshi. Shion begins to despise Satoko for her role in relying on Satoshi for emotional and protective support.

This is what drove a mental decline for Shion, as her obsessive and recurring thoughts happened, she reinforced them with compulsive repetition. Repeating these thoughts with emotions of fear and sadness associated with them is a recipe for disaster... a turning point for her wellbeing. Despite this increasing mental noise, Shion I would say, has a strong feminine emotional intelligence. She is opportunistic overall with feminine cues, just like how she boasted to Mion, “That just means you can’t slack off for even a moment, Sis, because you’ve got a rival. Tears can attract men, but they don’t anchor them. You should always be smiling, but cry when it really counts!” 

I think we can all relate on this one. We all wish to appeal to the one we love, and the ones who love hard... tend to do the more drastic measures to be in their light, like changing themselves or picking up the hobbies they enjoy, etc. It is psychologically known that opposites do not attract, so employing these changes generally work in your favor - but at what cost? This leads into my next point...

Identity. As her mental state declines, her internal identity crisis intensifies. She had it buried within her the whole time. Her entire life since birth, she may feel as though her twin cast a shadow over her. Sure, she brushed it off with pride and flair to differentiate, but at the end of the day, they are identical twins. One was cast aside, and one was titled the next Sonozaki heir. It is perspicuous what this emphasizes... One is better, or at the very least, more fitting than the other. A lost sense of self, a castaway, sent off to a faraway prison or “school” whilst the other shines brightly... It’s evident what damage this caused Shion internally. While I cannot fully grasp what she feels, since I don’t have a twin, I can only begin to imagine the immense mental weight this put on her and her identity. Her loss of identity and low self-esteem internally connects directly to her own reliance on Satoshi. She NEEDS him in order to clear away that mental noise, to give her that boosted sense of self, and to love passionately for a fuller life.

This was the creation of his presence. Her brain protectively created a Satoshi presence to fill the gaps, to finally garner that peace of mind she deserves. It is all in vain, unfortunately, as nothing can compare to the power of his touch, or the sight of his naivety or shy disgruntled nature.

After having an alter ego for years and years, I know the pain and hardship. Though, while I may not know exactly how Shion felt, I do fully connect with plenty of it. I too, would be just as reactionary and passionately murderous if the love of my life disappeared without answers. There were just so many stages where she could have caught herself? I know how hard it must be to lose the one-and-only, and I know how it feels impossible to feel sane, and I also know how that alter-ego, that demon, that presence, can ensnare you without ever feeling like it would let go... but, after getting help... I promise that it does. I sought out professional help for my own mental noise and alter ego and identity crisis, and the medication and therapy helped me more than I can ever ask for...

I only wonder if this could have been prevented had she sought medical help from Dr. Irie. In conclusion, a fantastic in-depth chapter. I loved every bit of it!

[thiscastielhasflown]

no one asked for this but i’m going to do a literary analysis of allen ginsberg’s poem, “wild orphan” and why i personally think it’s dean-coaded (here is an analysis in general i found, not related to dean, but pretty amazing: x) :

Blandly mother takes him strolling by railroad and by river --he's the son of the absconded hot rod angel-- and he imagines cars and rides them in his dreams,

“blandly” (in an uninteresting manner that lacks strong emotion, features, or characteristics) mother is mary, at that time before her death most likely holding back the unhappiness in her marriage with john -- makes me think also of the plain white nightgown she wore the night of her death. the image of her and dean walking by the water/railroad is super cute -- thinking about her pregnant with sam and before all of the future events [i.e. azazel]. “absconded hot rod angel” (leave hurriedly and secretly, typically to avoid detection of or arrest for an unlawful action such as theft -- hot rod being the impala) father is john -- maybe not this way at the current moment but him represented in the future. the last two lines makes me think of dean dreaming about baby/impala as a child and thinking about the chance to drive it someday.  so lonely growing up among the imaginary automobiles and dead souls of Tarrytown

this is the start of dean’s life after mary’s death -- sam is there as a baby and we know that this is the start to john decent into hunting full time so he’s left alone and very lonely. the “imaginary automobiles” -- the one’s dean dreams about driving/owning/working on in the future and “dead souls” a calling to the monsters of past people that follow him until his death in adult life almost like a curse. to create out of his own imagination the beauty of his wild forebears--a mythology he cannot inherit. the thought that dean has an wild imagination to help deal with the loss of his mother and deal with his abusive father actively trying to ruin his life. “forebears” (ancestors) could be a reference to the deep hunter blood that runs through him (samuel campbell on his mother’s side and the men of letters through henry winchester). even with this superior blood, he “cannot inherit” the deep “mythology” of hunting without having it be taught to him by john/john’s in-depth manual journal. 

Will he later hallucinate his gods? Waking among mysteries with an insane gleam of recollection? i’m thinking more of the line of “hallucinate his gods” not just being god -- chuck -- but the presence of angels/higher powers in general. we know that it takes dean a while to realize in the beginning of season 4 that cas was an actual angel because that was something no one has ever dealt with. thinking about “waking among mysteries” could be the time he spent in hell and all of the time he spent after getting back top-side to suppress the “recollection” of those memories.  The recognition-- something so rare in his soul, met only in dreams --nostalgias of another life. “recognition” (acknowledgment of something's existence, validity, or legality) of his changed soul, the reconstruction of his body by cas who, “gripped him tight and raised dean from perdition” -- a profound bond that will change the course of his life forever. we know that dean had many dreams for the future “nostalgias of another life”; living a “white picket fence” traditional life, settling down with a woman and having a family separated from hunting that would never happen.  A question of the soul. And the injured losing their injury in their innocence --a cock, a cross, an excellence of love. the questioning “soul” that is injured of “their innocence” (in this case the definition i’m going with contextually is: used euphemistically to refer to a person's virginity)-- not that dean has much innocence in the first place when it comes to woman. the next two lines puts a spin on that “a cock” -- not talking about a physical one but the thought of him exploring his sexuality with other men throughout his life, “a cross” -- again, this is the figure of cas. blending these two together -- a love for men and cas equals “excellence of love”. his true destiny. 

And the father grieves in flophouse complexities of memory a thousand miles away, unknowing of the unexpected youthful stranger bumming toward his door.

ending this off with another image of john, “father grieves in flophouse (a cheap hotel or rooming house)” -- he could be crying about the memories of mary/the life that he should have had “a thousand miles away” and out of reach. or the headcanon of him finding out that dean was into men in his teenage years and “grieving” that his son isn’t perfectly like him. “unknowing of the unexpected youthful stranger bumming toward his door” could dean walking towards that hotel door while their on a hunt, now seen as a “stranger” to his father because of the information john knows about him. that john will scare out of him and cause years of regression, regret, and self-doubt in trauma.