#if she isn’t dead I will be upset bc there is simply no point then

[nakamurareia]

no bc being a villain is essential to toga himiko as a character okay. I need people to stop diminishing her bc yes she is a girl in love but she is also a villain. she did not give all of herself to ochako bc she suddenly had a change of heart. she still fundamentally believed in the ideals of the villain legion. to her the legion was family in a way that mattered and she loved them too. hell she was killing literally everyone just minutes ago trying to make a world for them. it is simply that she valued a world with ochako in it more than a world where she could live freely. that is a testament to her love for ochako and not anything else. she is a villain to her last and she is proud of it. so her death truly was the best and kindest possible end to her story do you not see? bc she wouldn’t ever compromise her stance and so she wouldn’t be able to live freely in a world where the heroes win. but in death she fulfills her dream of becoming the person she loves. she becomes ochako’s blood she becomes her in a way that matters, without compromising a single bit on being a villain. do you see? how beautiful this is?

[aangarchy]

Reasons people have listed for hating Aangs character and me debunking them

1. He ran away from his responsibility as the Avatar and got encaved in ice resulting in the airnomad genocide. A bullshit reason. Aang was a 12yr old monk who only just mastered airbending, found out he was the Avatar sooner than he was supposed to (they’re not supposed to know until they’re 16) and then found out they were planning on seperating him from his mentor. He was an upset child that ran off and because of stupid coincidence he got into a storm, resulting into his Avatar spirit kicking in and protecting him. It’s not his fault that it lasted for 100 years and it’s not his fault that a dictator decided to eradicate an entire race.

2. He crumpled up the note for Bato containing the map to Hakoda’s camp. Katara and Sokka promised to Aang that they would stick by him. They were his new family. They said so themselves. By telling Aang this they not only agreed to accompany him to the North Pole, they agreed to help him save the world. Of course they would want to see their dad, but their responsibility is to Aang first now. Aang was excluded the entire evening at Bato’s. He tried to include himself in the conversation several times and got dismissed. He has a right to be upset by that. Then he hears that the people who promised to accompany him and who promised they were his new family might leave him to go see their father. Once again, Aang has the right to be upset. Crumpling up the note and hiding it was a shitty move, but Sokka and Katara’s reaction was shittier. Instead of letting him explain they yell at him and tell him to go to the North Pole by himself and with that, save the world by himself. They went back on their promise. This situation was a miscommunication on everyone’s part. Solely blaming Aang is not only wrong, it’s bullshit.

3. He pushed his beliefs onto everyone. Show me a scene where Aang forces Katara and Sokka to eat vegetarian. Show me a scene where Aang forces everyone to meditate. Show me a scene where Aang gets upset when people eat meat in front of him. You can’t. Why? Because this statement is simply not true. The only scene you could possibly pull up is Aang begging Katara not to choose revenge. He tries to help by telling her he knows what she’s going through. He tries to help by giving a metaphor that the monks taught him, because it helped him. All of this comes from a place of love, not a place of wanting to force everyone into airnomad beliefs like Zuko suggests. Aang never tells Katara explicitly “I forbid you from going on this journey and executing your revenge.” He even acknowledges that this is a journey she has to make. He just asks, because he knows how toxic revenge is. He tries to relate to Katara by going “how do you think I felt when the sandbenders took Appa.” This is a valid point to make bc he nearly killed all of the sandbenders in a blind rage fueled by revenge. Katara stopped him then, now it’s his turn to stop Katara.

Another point I’d like to make with this one: everyone else was pushing their beliefs onto Aang when they were trying to force him to kill the firelord. They never asked kindly like Aang did, they said “you have to.” Why? Because they believe there is no other way. Aang believes otherwise because once again, revenge is a toxic notion.

4. He didn’t kill the firelord. Are you seriously wondering why a 12yr old pacifist monk in a kid’s show didn’t murder a man on screen? Really? I’ll refer to number three to tell you exactly why this is bad: it’s other people forcing their ideas and beliefs onto Aang. I’ll also refer to a few other Aang posts I’ve made where I talked about how this outcome, where Ozai isn’t dead, is better than a scenario where he is. His supporters would have used him as a martyr to demonize the Avatar. The same thing happened in the Chin village with Avatar Kyoshi. She killed their dictator leader, and 300 years after that they still hated the Avatar (not just her, all Avatars) and even charged Aang with murder. Killing Ozai would have backfired immensily. The cycle of violence wouldn’t have ended, it would have continued. With Aang showing him mercy and taking his firebending away he broke the cycle and a new era of peace could begin.

5. He’s immature. This is a short one: he’s a CHILD. He’s not supposed to be mature. Think back to how you were when you were twelve. Think back on how twelve yr old boys behaved when you were at school. Aang might have the responsibility of the world laying on his shoulders but he’s still twelve, you should at least expect him to act his age, even if he sometimes has wisdom beyond his years.

6. He lied in the great divide. Lmao pls don’t act all high and mighty here. Everyone has told a little white lie to save themselves once in a while. Yes Aang lied to those clans about that age old ceremony, but it ended up solving a 100yr old fued. Sometimes lying to make people feel better is good. I’m a very honest person but I have told lies to make people happy or to save my own skin. It happens.

7. He’s a bad father. This was started by LoK, when two of Aang’s kids, Bumi and Kya, suggested that they were neglected by him because Aang took his other son, Tenzin (the only airbender) on trips without the other two. At that point Aang and Tenzin are the only two airbenders known to exist. Aang wants to keep his culture alive, it’s why he started the Air Acolytes, therefore he must have been thrilled to finally have another airbender to share his knowledge with. I don’t think we can fully blame Aang for spending more time with Tenzin while trying to teach him about airnomad culture. It’s Aang’s job as the Avatar to keep the balance and without airnomads the balance is disrupted.

Then we have the fact that kids memories are often blown out of proportion, or not reliable bc they don’t have all the facts. For example, I remember several times in my childhood where I was left out by my older friend when she found someone her age to play with. Those are the memories I have of her. But through looking at pictures and hearing stories from my parents, I realized there had been several times where I wasn’t left out by her and that we got along great. I don’t remember those, I only remember when I was left out. There might have been plenty of trips that Bumi and Kya did attend, but they only remember the ones where they felt left out bc they didn’t come. Kya and Bumi are also older, there might have been years before Tenzin was even there where they had Aang all to themselves. But they don’t remember that. And even if Kya and Bumi were to come on these trips, they’d probably be complaining that they were boring bc Aang would only be talking about his culture and teaching them about it. Then the complaint would be “dad would drag us along on these boring trips just to teach tenzin airnomad stuff”.

Let’s all also remember that Aang is in fact the Avatar, as in, one of the most important people in the world. He must be a busy man. And while yes, your children should be your number one priority, the Avatar is an exception to this rule because his responsibility is to the world first. Not to his wife, not to his kids. Aang has struggled with this before (choosing to save Katara over mastering the Avatar state) and probably struggled with this later in life too.

This is a long way to say that you can’t judge someone’s parenting over one scene in LoK where Bumi and Kya aired their frustrations about Aang to Tenzin in a moment of stress. Later on Kya even showed them a happy family picture, and they didn’t seem to think Aang was that bad anymore. People definitely jumped the gun to claim Aang was a bad father after hearing one (1) complaint about his style of parenting.

If you guys find more weird reasons people have given to hate Aang’s character, definitely send me them!

[syn0vial]

Thoughts on the various "young!Boba gets adopted" AUs out there? The various people/groups I've seen adopting him in fanon have been Obi Wan, Plo Koon, assortments of clones, and of course fellow bounty hunters like Bossk and Cad Bane. Personally - I love them all since any AU where young Boba is loved and supported brings me joy - but wondering if you had any specific thoughts on what's most likely/makes the most sense/would be best for Boba/etc. Since you're looking for asks :)

hello there! i also love boba-gets-adopted AUs bc i like to believe in a universe where he ended up safe and loved :,D in fact, in the junior novels, he does end up being brought to an orphanage on bespin, but it’s a republic orphanage and there’s jedi on the ship taking him there and he has to lie about his name and basically there’s a bunch of stuff that drives him to cut and run as soon as he’s able. BUT i definitely think things could’ve been different.

first off, disclaimer that the following are simply my opinions and that i don’t intend to bash or invalidate people with different headcanons/AUs. but yes, here are my opinions on who would likely have the least/most success in adopting a freshly orphaned boba.

i think it’s safe to say that any jedi would have their work cut out for them. he was raised to see them as the enemy, he knows his father’s history with them, and watching one of them decapitate his dad definitely didn’t help matters. he would likely respond to any of them trying to get close with anger and suspicion, not to mention a healthy dose of fear as to what their ulterior motive might be (are they after information? are they trying to make sure he won’t become a threat? do they just want to erase his father’s legacy?). ngl, i think a story with a jedi character like obi-wan or plo-koon trying to gain boba’s trust would be a fascinating read, but if we’re talking purely what’s the most likely/best arrangement for boba, jedi are probably at the bottom of the list, just bc boba’s view of them as the monsters who killed his dad and his dad’s family would make gaining his trust not only unlikely, but also a thoroughly distressing affair for everyone involved.

next up is the clones. this one i think could work, but it would require said clone(s) deserting for best chance of success. if they didn’t desert and stayed with the republic, boba would view their attempted “adoption” of him as capture at best and forced conscription at worst—obviously, they’re just taking him in bc they think he’s just a wayward clonetrooper who needs to be taught to fight and die for the republic, right? plus, non-deserter clones would likely have regular interaction with the jedi, which would present the problems from the bullet points above. on the other hand, if the clones were deserters, boba would likely have some immediate sympathy for them as they would share the same enemies/pursuers and he would have some interest in helping to keep them safe and free. even if this altruism would be at least partially motivated by the desire to stick it to the republic/jedi, i could see it easily evolving into genuine care and affection. the big, interesting obstacle here would be that, in the EU especially, boba isn’t very comfortable around clones. like, when he was even younger, he thought they were cool and liked to watch them march and train, but once his dad told him that boba himself was a clone too, boba became unsettled and stopped watching them. and then after jango is killed, well... the clones became upsetting to him for an entirely different reason. especially if any clone characters attempted to adopt boba, there’d be a lot of tension stemming from their resemblance to his father, plus boba’s own desire to be distinct and separate from them. i do think a happy ending is possible here, but it would require boba to learn to view the clones as individuals, not as reflections of his dad and not as threats to his own individuality.

then we have bounty hunters. honestly i’m not familiar enough with cad bane to have any say on his potential as an adoptive parent and i’m so used to the EU depiction of bossk and boba as shitty rivals that the thought of bossk trying to parent boba is inherently hilarious to me. HOWEVER, there is one bounty hunter who i think would be the number one best option for boba adoption and that’s zam wesell. yes, the one that jango murdered. as i’ve mentioned in previous posts, zam basically acted like boba’s second parent in the EU and, in an alternate universe where she survived jango’s assassination attempt, boba would be ecstatic to find out she’s still alive and, so long as she supported him in his quest to become a bounty hunter, he’d probably be happy to let her retake her parental role. the one tension point i can see here is that zam might not be so keen to let her adopted kid run off to try and avenge the man who almost killed her, but this could be mitigated by convincing boba to wait/train until someone else kills mace he’s older and ready. zam’s got a charisma score, she could swing it.

and finally: mandalorians! this would be another great option bc boba, especially younger boba, inherently trusts mandalorians more than most others in the galaxy (this is, in fact, implied to be one of the reasons he chooses concord dawn as his and sintas’s new home as a teenager; mandalorians, he thinks, are trustworthy and safe ;; ) he also almost certainly knows of their tendency towards adoption and thus would not be as quick to question their motives as he would be for some of the others on this list. not to mention, mandalorians would be more likely to support him in becoming a bounty hunter/warrior AND in avenging his father, which would earn them major respect and gratitude in boba’s mind. finally, assuming his adopters were similar to true mandalorians, the fact that they would share a culture in common would also likely make the adjustment period much easier than if boba were adopted into a non-mandalorian household.

and there you have it! as you can see, i think the best two options for adoptive guardians for boba would be a) (true) mandalorians or b) a miraculously-not-dead zam wesell. clone deserters could also be fun and ultimately beneficial, while attempted adoptions by GAR!clones and/or jedi could also lead to plenty of fun angst. in any case, it’s a great trope and it’s always nice to fantasize about a galaxy where boba gets to have a family again :,)

[gayregis]

I live and breathe for the scene where Geralt and Cahir roll around like drunk toddlers and Milva just starts wailing on them with her belt without hesitation.

honestly ok 😅 i feel awkward bc i found this scene really tragic and depressing, but it seems like everyone else really likes this scene and thought it was funny? to me it feels like the hansa reached one of their lowest points as a group. i made a looong post about this on r/wiedzmin but i deleted my reddit account so i cant find it and think it’s gone forever... 

the scene is tragic to me because it represents how desperate geralt is to blame someone for his predicament other than yennefer, because he doesn’t want to believe that she would ever betray him. she, of course, hasn’t, and the magic spying was a result of her torture because she finally broke after holding out for very long, instead of her free will. but geralt still has had his worst fears falsely confirmed by this new information -- and it’s something that he’s suspected from the beginning, that yennefer betrayed him (when he sees her clothes in the room at thanedd, he wonders if she had to leave them in a hurry as a captive, or if she changed into men’s clothes to be a double agent...) and since geralt thinks that the entire world is out to get him, his lover yennefer betraying him would be the twisting in the knife lodged in him already from society’s abuse of him. additionally, he thinks that ciri has died (or suspects it, or maybe knows the truth that ciri has undergone extreme trauma and abuse, and pronounces her dead later because he doesn’t want to believe that his daughter is suffering, instead choosing to think that she has died, because in death, one does not suffer).

and cahir very desperately wants to be trusted by the company, because he has nowhere else. it doesn’t matter now if they fall into the hands of the temerian lilies, rivian lozenges, or under the nilfgaardian sun, because they’ll be punished by all of them. cahir has “lost” his family because he is traitor to the empire, and he has no hope of being accepted into a northern country because -- well, the north has been largely destroyed by nilfgaard at this point -- but he has already pissed off the rivians for his desertion of their military, and he speaks with a slight nilfgaardian accent and isn’t entirely able to evade detection as a nilfgaardian (he’s perhaps gotten better at it than during the massacre of cintra where he had to shed his armor and all, but i digress). so the hansa’s really all he has, and geralt of course is the leader and a father, which cahir wants the trust and respect of, because he has lost the trust and respect of his previous leader, emhyr, and his biological father, ceallach (or so he may assume - ceallach seemed distraught at cahir being declared a traitor of the state. but no matter how he or his family may feel in their hearts, legally, ceallach has to denounce his son in order to remain in favor in court, and cahir is aware of this). 

so these two forces collide -- that’s the fight. geralt lashes out, cahir defends himself adequately. and the rest of the hansa is desperately trying to stop them. regis is frozen -- i surmise that he is so because regis is a very philosophical and logical character, his domain is that of thought and pondering. in contrast to him, milva is a very direct and quick-to-anger character whose domain is that of action and force. so, as milva can act, because she is composed of action, regis can’t, because no thought has gone into this fight -- it’s completely senseless, and regis can’t make sense of it, so instead he is limited to freezing on the outskirts and commenting on the aftermath in a cold voice. additionally, i wonder if the fight reminds him of fights that he instigated amongst former friends when he was younger, and the present violence reminds him of his past violence, revolting him.

milva acts, but she acts in desperation. she uses the improvised weapons of her belts to draw them apart, lashing them evenly. it’s funny to many because this is a punishment usually reserved for juvenile means, but i think about being struck with a belt and i wince, it’s painful and terrifying as well due to the cracking of them like whips. and it’s not her regular weapon - a bow, because she does not intend to kill, but it’s not something less in force - her hands, because simply her hands will not work in drawing them apart. she HAS to use violence in order to stop THEIR violence. pairing with what ciri speaks of in another chapter about drawing an eye for an eye, repaying evil, i think a lot about this question of can only violence can stop violence? and as for milva’s character, she is not the leader of the company, she refers to herself constantly as a simple peasant girl from the forest (or wench, in some translations...), and she berates herself for not being educated and not knowing how to make decisions. though she demonstrates real skill and knowledge throughout baptism of fire in relation to making decisions for the company, it is evident that she lacks the confidence in herself and the desire to act as a leader. she is forced to take action because no one else can.

the situation is further exaggerated in drama by dandelion, who is usually jovial and the optimist of the company, becoming truly upset and having his voice even shake (iirc) as he tries to tell passersby that everything is okay and it’s just an argument between friends, already solved. it uneasily hints that his optimist nature serves to mend unhappy realities, and makes me wonder what else he relates as already patched up, but is actually significant of a larger break...

and of course, angouleme. the girl that just joined, who has been running from a lifetime of trauma and violence, has run right into this scene of more violence. like dandelion, her nature is to lessen the horrifying nature of the scene with optimism and comedy, and she congratulates milva for her good work, not knowing of milva’s temperment and hidden fragility (milva hides it well, but as we can see in baptism of fire, she really is fragile inside!). this of course results in milva lashing out at angouleme, who immediately breaks, cowering and sobbing. milva, realizing what she has done, drops the belts and hugs her silently, with that action saying silently to her, i’m sorry, i didn’t mean to. again, milva is not a woman of words, she is primarily driven by action, and her actions demonstrate her inner self, so that this is act is considered apology. angouleme and milva share much in terms of escaping abuse and trauma, so this outburst of anger triggering (term used in the actual psychological manner) angouleme makes milva recognize in the girl the features within herself that she tries to hide, and so she realizes that they are not at all that different, and immediately feels horrible for taking her fears and anger out on her.

so the company at this point is broken. cahir and geralt, two men without families, are lost and alone, now broken and damaged by their fight and by milva’s work. milva, our fighter, and angouleme, the youngest, are paralyzed, thinking about their traumas. dandelion, our artist and best friend to geralt, is shaken and can’t compose thoughts or provide consolation. regis, our philosopher, usually eloquent and well-spoken, is at a loss for words. 

everyone is suffering! meanwhile, fireworks rise and explode in the background. it could be seen as comedic due to the setting of the festivities playing in the background, but it is a dark humor based upon tragedy. this is what this scene feels like to me... i’m sorry if it’s not funny it’s just how i feel D:

[justauthoring]

Just Fades Away

Request: Can I request an imagine where the reader is kylo ren’s sister and it’s at the end of the movie where everyone is celebrating the win but she’s upset bc she thinks kylo is dead but then he comes back with Rey bc he somehow survived😂?? Also the reader is in a relationship with Poe too (but if u don’t wanna write out of canon I completely understand) but can the bro/sis reunion be emotional af 😭😭 xxx love ur blog sm

Pairing: Kylo Ren x Reader (platonic), slight Poe Dameron x Reader

Notes: This is literally all I could think about while I was in the theatre watching the moving, so when I saw someone request this I WAS SO EXCITED!!

Word Count: 987

Please don’t plagiarize my work!

SPOILERS FOR TROS BELOW!

The cheers of excitement that echoed on around you felt like nothing more then mumbles of what you’d lost.

Part of you was happy. Truly. The Resistance had won; the First Order was no more. No longer did you or anyone have to live in fear, live in shadows. You were free.

But you’d lost everything and everyone along the way. It’d begun with your brother, losing him to the Dark Side. Then it was your family, torn apart by your brothers betrayal. You’d lost your uncle, isolating himself from everyone and forgoing your training for fear of losing you the same way he had Ben. Then Ben, or rather Kylo, had murdered your father. Right before your very eyes. He’d heard your cries of anguish and had simply turned a blind eye.

And now, your mother was dead. You had no family left. Nothing. 

She’d sacrificed herself in the hope of reaching out to Ben and you truly believed it’d worked, because Rey had been able to destroy the Emperor. She’d won. You’d all won. But the emptiness hadn’t faded and there was still the sinking feeling in your stomach as you glanced around at everyone’s smiles and joyful expressions.

It all fades by you; as if slow motion. Bodies passing your own, cries of glee, embraces from those they thought they’d lost. Those they hadn’t lost. 

Unlike you. You’d lost everything.

You’re pulled from your thoughts, suddenly by a hand falling on your shoulder. It elicits a gasp from your lips, pulling you out of your revere as you spin around quick, eyes finding Poe’s own. His presence eases you, just a little, because he was someone you hadn’t lost. He was someone you still had. And just like always (because he’d always been the best at reading you without you ever having to say anything) there’s this look of pity, of worry and comfort and all else in his eyes as he regards you. Carefully and firmly, never letting his eyes leave your own as his hand leaves your shoulder, opting to cup your cheek.

You lean into his touch, smiling but it’s clear the smile doesn’t really meet your eyes. Nor is it really anything more that just because. You don’t mean the smile. 

“I know.” He whispers, nodding his head, voice soft but still warm. You feel your eyes water, your resolve falling and your hands start to shake as they hang limply by your side. Your fingers itch to grab onto something and before you know it, you’re falling forwards, right into Poe’s grip as his hand falls on the back of your head, holding you firmly. Tightly. It’s his way of reassuring you, of trying to give you any comfort he can possibly muster.

It’s his way of you showing you he cares.

“I know...”

The moment lasts for a while before you’re both interrupted by the familiar call of Finn. You compose yourself quickly, not wanting to look weak, as you pull back from Poe, the two of you turning to face your friend. He bounds up to you with a similar smile as the rest of those around you, the corners of his lips curled all the way up to the crinkles around his eyes.

“It’s Rey,” he calls out, pointing past you both. “She’s back!”

You follow his line of vision, finding the ship Rey had been using in the battle landing. One look at Poe and the three of you are bounding your way through the crowd of people, pushing your way gently through in the direction of Rey, eyes searching everywhere for her.

It’s doesn’t take long to find her. Her familiar figure starts to peek it’s way past through crowd of people. However, it isn’t that that makes you pause. It’s the figure, the larger and more bulkier one, that does. Just like Rey, it’s familiar. Before you know it, this constricting feeling floods your chest, your hope rising with each moment as you feel your eyes widen, your lips part. 

You meet his eyes and the emptiness just fades away.

Poe lets go of you easily, letting you push your way the rest of the way over to Rey and your brother. You barely regard Rey, a smile curling onto your lips (and this time you mean it) as you wrap your arms around Ben’s shoulders and pull him closer, nearly knocking him off his feet from the force of the embrace. A huff leaves his lips in response but he returns the embrace just as eagerly as you.

You grip onto him like you’re afraid he’ll disappear right then and there. You don’t dare to let go, laughs of relief mixed with sobs of joy leaving your lips, the tears now falling freely. And what makes it all the better is the way Ben holds onto you, arms wrapped firmly around your waist, holding you close, burying his head into the crook of your neck. He doesn’t cry, but you can tell, because he’s your brother, that his broken self clings onto you desperately.

Like you’re his life line.

When you pull back, still refusing to let go of him, but enough to meet his eyes, it’s Ben’s eyes that you see. Not Kylo’s. The reassuring fact that Kylo Ren is dead and that Ben Solo has been reborn is something you thought you’d never experience. 

You thought you’d lost Ben long ago. And yet, here he was. Right before you.

“It’s you...” You whisper, voice barely a whisper. “It’s really you. You’re...--”

“I’m back.” Ben’s voice is soft, softer then Kylo’s ever had been. It brings you back to when you were younger, when you were children, practically attached at the hip. It brings you back to the simpler times, when you still had a family.

And that’s just it; you did. You did still have a family.

You had Ben.

-

Let me know what you thought?

[jerbric]

can u tell us abt the au? 👀

Yes! Also this was going to be a brief summary but the more I wrote the more invested I got and so I fully fleshed out the AU for both you and me. It’s sooooo long so if you end up not reading it, that’s cool. Anyway,

You know those AUs where when Della disappears, her eggs are split between the cousins and when the kids find out about each other they try to Parent Trap everyone? So it’s a little bit of a spin off of those AUs.

Basically, the eggs are split, yes with the basic Louie/Gladstone, Huey/Fethry, and Dewey/Donald concept. Anyway, they grow up with their respective parents, and accept their very simple lives. Except one day, out of curiosity, Huey asks Fethry about his parents, and Fethry goes on to talk about Della and everything else. He talks about Donald and Scrooge and Gladstone, and how one day Della just “disappeared,” but he never once mentions Dewey and Louie. So, interested to learn exactly what had happened, Huey begins to write letters to Scrooge McDuck, hoping that one day he’ll respond and want to meet up and reconnect. Unfortunately, that never happens, so he ends up giving up and going back to being comfortable in his little home with Fethry.

Back at the manor, Webby is still invested in McDuck history and heritage. She still makes her boards and all that, and this time, she gets her hands on Della Duck’s old journal way earlier. She looks up to Della and starts to wonder what happened to her and why Scrooge ever stopped adventuring. She tries to grab Scrooge’s attention from afar but it’s fruitless, and her little adventure is at a dead end. Until! Until one day, she’s getting the mail at Beakley’s request, and she finds letter from someone cities away from Duckburg. They’re addressed to Scrooge, and while Webby knows when to keep her hands to herself, she knows that Scrooge throws out any mail that’s not work related. So she hides the letter and later on takes it to her room. She reads it and is immediately interested in everything Huey Duck has to say and offer.

And she does this with every letter that comes after, each one a request to meet Scrooge. But the more that come, the less formal they are, and the more desperate they sound. The very first one was a formal request to meet Scrooge to talk about some personal business, but later on they begin to give more detail. Huey is Della Duck’s son, he lives with his Uncle Fethry and his grandmother on their farm. He also mentions Gladstone and Donald, and how he hopes the five of them can meet up and reconnect.

Anyway, point is, Webby decides that this is her moment to shine. She’s going to step out of the shadows and bring together Scrooge McDuck’s family and then he will finally notice her! Also, this is an adventure, and it will be long and there will be ups and downs, but just like Della Duck, Webby’s not going to let anything get in her way! I know, she could just ask Beakley for help but Beakley would get upset over the hidden mail and simply say that Webby’s adventure is just her digging into something she shouldn’t. So Webby packs her things and sneaks out of the manor, setting out on her very first adventure. She was trained to defend herself and detect any forms of harm, so she’s ready! (Don’t worry, she left Beakley a note saying she’ll be safe and back in no time.)

She wanders all around Duckburg in search of Donald Duck, who lives there according to Huey. This is how she meets Lena and becomes an unexpected accomplice to shoplifting. Basically, she’s walking around when she’s knocked back by someone, but when she gets up, she only sees the back of the girl as she runs around the corner. As she starts picking up her things, she realizes that the girl forgot something, so she hurries and runs after her in order to return it. She ends up at the abandoned amphitheater, where she confronts Lena, and Lena, who is still paranoid about a passing cop, takes Webby inside and explains what happens. Webby is shocked but let’s it slide because she thinks Lena’s cool and wow! she runs fast!

So Lena asks Webby what she’s doing wandering around Duckburg and Webby shows her the letters and explains her grand plan. Lena takes interest immediately because she still works for Magica and helping Webby out would mean the possible chance of meeting Scrooge McDuck so “you realize travelling alone is dangerous, right? You’re going to need some help.” And obviously Webby let’s her tag along!

They stay at the amphitheater for the night and the next day they set out to find Donald Duck. They figure out where he lives and go to knock on the door. Instead they’re greeted by a young duck who’s bored out of his mind because his babysitter won’t let him do anything. Anyway they meet Dewey, is what happens, and once Webby explains everything to him, he does the same thing Webby did. He packs his things and leaves Donald a note (this happens later that night, not with the babysitter bc that would’ve been yikes lol). He joins them, and then they set off to the city of Macaw, where rumor has it that Gladstone Gander is making some big wins.

The same thing happens, they meet Louie, who agrees to tag along and they set off to find Huey, the reason for this whole adventure. Dewey and Louie bond the entire time going on about “we’re related to the Scrooge McDuck?!” and “where have you been all my life?!” Webby and Lena also bond some more, and they become best friends, and eventually, Lena begins to feel like this life is so prefect and so good. She’s having fun, meeting new people, going to new places, and it’s such a wonderful thing, she would’ve forgotten about Magica if Magica would only stop bugging her about her mission for five minutes.

It’s when they’re on their way to Grandma Duck’s farm, that things start falling apart and they start having doubts. Magica starts to get frustrated and begins causing trouble, which ends up with Lena confessing everything. Despite this, Webby believes in her and she convinces Dewey and Louie to let her stay. They’re hesitant, but they allow it and they help Lena keep Magica at bay. I mean, she can’t do too much while she’s a shadow. And this part isn’t too thought out atm but it will be later.

And so, they end up making it to the farm and finally, they have a warm place to sleep without having to worry. Grandma Duck and everyone else is very welcoming and they provide more information than they had initially agreed to give. The kids spend a few days at the farm and Huey, Dewey, and Louie bond. Webby and Lena talk about what’s going to happen when they get back to Duckburg and Lena begins to doubt how much she’s actually wanted around by the others. So the night before the kids and Fethry are supposed to head out, she leaves.

They boys try to brush it off as “she was going to go her own way when we got back to Duckburg anyway, so does it really matter?” “Of course it does! Lena is my- our friend! We have to find her!” In the end, she’s outvoted by the boys and Fethry, who does try to get on her side but it was a losing fight, and they return to Duckburg, immediately going to Donald. They invite Gladstone over, and once they’re all together, they all go visit Scrooge and it’s one big reunion. And tears and all of that. Of course it doesn’t end there! Webby goes off on her own again to find Lena.

And this is where I leave off because this is too long and I got carried away (also that last part hasn’t been thought out). I am so sorry. If you read all of that, bless you, I love you. Also I think this might be my most thought out AU so far?

[prompt-master]

Would you be willing to share how you might rewrite Yukizome, Sakakura, and Munakata to make them likable characters (if not ppl Bc there’s a big difference)???

ahhhhhhh this ask got me so stupidly excited that I was like wavin my hands around. I think about how to rewrite their characters OFTEN. very often. I’m gonna go with likeable character over likeable people because I think they work better where they’re actually not that likeable people. 

The one I think about the MOST is Munakata. He was SUCH wasted potential and I partially blame the medium for that (a single season anime is too constrained for future, it needed more time and care to be a proper story). But Munakata is actually so close to being a compelling character but they made some MAJOR mistakes with him. This ended up getting really long and more like a 3 page ADHD ramble essay. SO IM VERY SORRY to anyone who cannot read this but TYTYTY if you did because these ideas make me very happy! Oh it’s only about Munakata btw because of how long it got

The thing about Munakata is that he is designed to be a foil to Naegi. In fact a majority of dr3 future FOCUSES on this foil dynamic. It is Naegi’s hope vs Munakata’s hope. The World’s hope vs The FF’s hope. And more importantly it is True Hope vs Corrupted Hope.

This is a fantastic concept...so why didn’t it work in canon? I think that the biggest most glaring issue with Munakata’s hope is his logic. Munakata is meant to be a logical man, although with corrupted morals that lead him astray. Yet in canon his logic is laughably infallible. For example as a major figure in the FF and someone who wants to spread hope....why would he tell Naegi to kill himself? More importantly why does he continue to try and slaughter Naegi? The issue here isn’t from the fact that he wants him dead but from the fact that he is under the IMPRESSION that this entire game is being broadcast to the world.

Think about this for a second. In Munakata’s eyes he is going to kill the Ultimate Hope, an international symbol of a better life, live on TV. He doesn’t just want to kill the Ultimate Hope..he wants to do it BRUTALLY as a MAJOR FIGURE OF THE FF. IMO this should have happened later on as the game furthers the emotional turmoil in Munakata’s head and he eventually snaps and gives in to the desire to kill Naegi despite the fact that this is live. And then there should be CONSEQUENCES for that. I wanted so badly a realization where Munakata realizes that he is hurting the Ultimate Hope in front of what he believes is the entire world. 

Another issue with Munakata’s logic is saying things such as...implying that the HPA KG was...just a game. I mean...people DIED. it's not hard to see how wrong that logic is. you can't say “this is the real world now” when what Naegi experienced WAS the real world. I think that this could be fixed through a bit of world building. DR3 Future is rather isolated from its world. We don’t really know much about the world and its dynamics. I think it would make perfect sense if the general public viewed the HPA KG as a tv show, they got numb to the sight and even those untouched by despair had a hard time connecting that these are REAL people suffering. With this previously established Munakata expressing that the KG was not real would make a lot more sense and play into his corrupted idea of hope. 

There is also Munakata’s connection to his other friends. Now I’ve talked about this before but the game was clearly designed to BREAK Munakata and Naegi. This way the FF would die, both the FF and World’s hope would be broken, and upon seeing this Mitarai would have no choice but to deploy his own forced hope. So it makes perfect sense that Yukizome’s death would break him (in fact if she hadn’t died in that way, her NG code was designed to be Munakata’s fault). But something about it felt...superficial. Again I think this is the mediums fault but it almost feels as though Munakata just forgets about Yukizome until later. I think they should spend more time establishing his pain and what he has lost and why this pushes him to kill. In his eyes if she can die then nothing else matters. It should be THE breaking point, not the first push. I do like the betrayal he feels towards realizing she had despair but it needed more time to fester. 

And his relationship with Sakakura also felt weak. In all honesty it was hard for me to feel as though they were ever friends. Sakakura is written as though he just follows Munakata like a loyal dog and Munakata just orders him around. Establish their relationship more! Why are they such good friends? Why is Sakakura important to him? And more importantly why did Munakata decide to cruelly gut Sakakura knowing he was about to confess? This is because he believed that Sakaura was despair and that his confession was more manipulation, but they didn’t show this well at ALL. Munakata just comes across as a major a-sshole who does not care. I also personally found it distasteful that when changing his heart Munakata only seemed to cry for Yukizome. I understand that was his love interest but Yukizome at the end of the day killed herself. Sakakura however was an unnecessary betrayal he took into his own hands AS HE HIMSELF KILLED HIM. He should have more guilt over that! Not just in that moment where he runs to Sakakura, but ahead of time as well! Maybe even DURING his rampage they could have shown him having moments of guilt but he is so absorbed in the idea that all despairs have to die that he doesn’t even realize he has become despair in the name of hope.

A BIG weakness on Munakata’s part comes with interacting with other characters. He is a man who should know how to take charge, lead, and doesn't know what to do when things are getting too crazy even though he THINKS he does. Munakata is heavily flawed, OBVIOUSLY flawed, but many of the interactions with him are as tho his rampage isnt a big deal. There should be reasons for this! Why do people trust Munakatas guidance so much? I dont know! All ive seen from him is that hes insane! Maybe even pieces where around others hes a lot nicer so you can understand why they follow him, even though hes ready to gut Naegi alive with a flaming katana. His interactions with others feel like the writers just wanted to see the next big evil thing they could think of, but for Munakata’s character this doesn't make sense because he was appointed a high status in the foundation for a reason. Maybe even have people say they disagree with some of his methods but at the end of the day he gets the job done!

There is another major missed opportunity here and it's why Muanakata wants Naegi dead so badly in the first place. The remnants. Hiding terrorists in the apocalypse is a PERFECTLY valid reason to want someone dead and think they're a bad guy! But I think since Naegis initial arrest was already so hostile and violent we get the sense that the FF is simply just...crazy. 

And let’s think about what Munakata WANTS from Naegi. He does not just want Naegi dead he wants something worse. He wants Naegi to suffer first. He thinks that Naegi doesnt understand his own personal pain. He thinks that because Naegi protected the remnants he must also not care about the suffering the remnants caused. He wants Naegi to feel despair and then die. This is important to his corrupted hope. He thinks the suffering must be shared in order to understand who must die, but he is creating a cycle of pain. Tie this back to the broadcasting issue. He wants Naegi to break for everyone to see. I think..and this is just a concept..I think it would have been a great idea for Munkata to force Naegi to watch the despair video so that he has no choice but to understand. 

AND themes are majorly important to Danganronpa. And I don’t think its a stretch to say that there are parallels between Munakata and Naegi. In fact I would say that there are aspects of the og trio in this new trio. I think it would have been really cool if they showed how our favorite trio could have ended up if they had been corrupted as well. But the parrellels dont stick strongly. I think it would have been cool to show a past where Munakata’s idealism lies more strongly than Naegis. As the student council president there was a time where he himself had to use his words to solve problems. Perhaps he learned that sometimes his words made things worse. Munakata does not have Naegi’s talent of emotional intelligence. He is a man of action over words. So he interprets this as WORDS being the problem rather than understanding he does not have these skills. Especially when the apocalypse breaks out, it becomes all action over words. So he sees Naegi who is all talk as a genuine threat who will let everyone die through his “weak ineffective” idea of hope. 

Another parallel could be drawn from the fact that they both have hope based careers. Their job is too keep things hopeful. Maybe Naegi stays safe doing public broadcasted speeches, while Munakata is on the field weeding out despairs. This would cause Munakata to feel as though Naegi is doing no real work yet getting all the credit for being a savior.

Munakata constantly complains that Naegi does not know true pain. But he and we as an audience have followed Naegi through his entire process of trauma. We know he is in the wrong. But what do we as an audience know about Munakata’s suffering? We are shown almost nothing! There are some implications, but for how intense he is implications are not enough. We need to see his suffering. We should see how he has witnessed death. Yukizomes death is not nearly enough for this because he talks as though he has suffered for years. How can we as an audience understand that when we have never seen it? How can we understand Munakata when he is outright denying Naegi’s trauma that we KNOW existed with no proper justification for his reasoning?

I also believe that Munakata should have died. It actually upsets me a bit that he was PLANNED to die but didn't. He should have died protecting Naegi after all that suffering and relentless brutality he offered him. Munakata again is a man of action over word, and protecting Naegi with his last breath is the perfect way to show how in the end he changed. Especially when all he wanted initially was for Naegi to die. I find that much more satisfying than just…...walking off to who knows where.

So lets recap some changes. Munakata needs a proper display of his past traumas and his relationship with Sakakura and Yukizome. Munakata needs a proper display of his work relationships and the respect he has earned. Munakata needs to fall into corruption at a better pace, and have geniune reasons for his illogical attacks on Naegi. Munakata needs to care more for his friends. Munakata needs to deal with the turmoil of wanting to hurt Naegi while he believes the world is watching. Munakata needs to die for Naegi

This has gotten long...and I still have things to say. There is so much to make Munakata a good character. Future had a lot of potential and is amazing for a rewrite concept. As for Sakakura and Yukizome since this has gotten long feel free to ask for another round of this individually when asks are open again! If you read all of this somehow….TYSM

[nandoor]

guillermo & why he wants to be a vampire (aka a long rambling meta post): 

tw for mention of suicide/suicidal ideation 

i’ve got 3 ideas rolling around in my head but tbh i think aspects of all 3 ideas are valid/plausible given what we know of guillermo so far

1) unhappiness as a human: 

it’s very clear that guillermo did not have the easiest childhood. he makes numerous references to being bullied growing up & even his mannerisms, the way he dresses, & his way of speaking suggest years of verbal & physical abuse for being who he is. 

whether vampirism will actually make him happier (which, honestly, it might--i mean he has devoted over a decade of his life at this point so guillermo is, at the very least, convinced this is 100% what he wants) is debatable, but it would be a considerably different life for him & that may be enough. 

i think it’s fair to say that up until finding out vampires were real and that he could potentially become a vampire if he acted as a vampire’s familiar, guillermo was likely depressed & unhappy with life. frankly, i can’t imagine a human wanting to be a vampire unless they were terribly bored or upset w/ their current lot in life. 

2) vampirism as a metaphor and/or substitute for suicide--aka does guillermo actually want to be a vampire?: 

this ties in w/ option #1 but the difference here is that guillermo seeking out a vampire to turn him was, ultimately, a substitute for suicide. 

suicidal ideation isn’t always big, grand dangerous gestures. maybe you don’t wear a seatbelt on purpose when driving or you don’t pay attention when crossing the street in heavy traffic or you encourage/build bad habits (i.e., excessive drinking, smoking, drug abuse, and/or other unsafe practices). & purposefully searching for vampires seems like a wwdits universe equivalent at the very least given the inherent danger involved. 

in this way, you can see guillermo’s desire to be a vampire less of an ambition & more of a desperate attempt for something that will make him happy--or, specifically, a way to regain control of a life he no longer feels is worth living. furthermore, even the act of being a familiar is dangerous & almost an admission of a death wish--guillermo had seen countless of familiars employed to nadja & laszlo die, but he never stopped being nandor’s familiar despite facing death on numerous occasions. 

at the end of the day, in the wwdits universe, becoming a vampire requires you to die. if you want to become a vampire, you are embracing the idea of dying. your heart stops. your brain ceases to function. your soul leaves your body and the ghost of your human self drifts off into the land of the dead. & when you wake as a vampire, you will have more in common with a corpse than with a living, breathing human. you subsist on the literal lifeblood of others much like a ghost might need an object to haunt/possess to remain in the living world. 

take for instance laszlo--some of his dialogue reveals that he was quite unhappy as a human & also was likely destined to die sometime soon (from the plague). once nadja turns him into a vampire, however, he is unbelievably happy. he loves & cares for nadja deeply--he feels no resentment towards her for his turning even if it wasn’t necessarily consensual at the time. &, unlike nandor & nadja, who seemingly wax poetic about their ‘human’ days (most likely bc they were both turned against their will/were not actually unhappy w/ their human lives), laszlo seems to care very little about talking about his human life. his real ‘life’ began the moment he met nadja, plain & simple. 

which brings us back to guillermo. if being a vampire hunter can give him the autonomy, power, and community he craved in his original pursuit to become a vampire, than i honestly don’t think guillermo will want to be a vampire anymore. because it wasn’t about being a vampire--it was about finding something to live for. of course i personally think that we don’t need to find something to live for--rather, we should learn to just live for ourselves if possible but i digress.

3) the happiest option: he genuinely loves vampires/vampire culture (?): 

not much to say here other than guillermo is in it for the #aesthetic. or, rather, he was in it for the aesthetic at first but i doubt something as vapid as simply enjoying the /idea/ of vampires would keep anyone in the role of familiar for over 10 yrs. he also probably clung to the idea that being a vampire would fix all his ‘human’ problems, make his lifelong self-esteem issues & desire for community disappear if he was able to successfully integrate himself in a group that would accept him for who he was, eccentricities and all. he wants to be his 100% authentic self & vampires are a group that will pretty much welcome anyone into their fold (ex: we’ve got jenna, who parallels guillermo pretty well, & was accepted by nadja & eventually laszlo w/ open arms as she was. like nadja didn’t make her change or doll her up or anything like that--jenna is still the same jenna from before she grew fangs... just w/ a severe sun allergy & a strictly liquid diet lmao) 

+ bonus crack idea: guillermo’s obsession w/ vamps is actually a byproduct of his van helsing heritage. i love the idea that his wires got super crossed thanks to watching iwtv/reading anne rice novels as a kid & instead of feeling disgust or hatred for vamps, he falls head over heels w/ them as a metaphor for the ‘otherness’ that he felt growing up (assumedly as a gay POC in a strict catholic household). 

like just imagine abraham van helsing’s ghost rolling in his grave over the fact that one of his strongest descendants is actually hopelessly in love with a vampire a vampire’s familiar. 

van helsing: ok so this is all a plot to kill the vampires once you’ve gained their trust, yes? 

van helsing 10+ yrs later: ...you’ve got to be kidding me :/

[dcvilmade]

do tell us about the confusing end of ha/ylijah

Ok I’m just gonna preface this that I ship Haylijah. I also like Jayley. And I adore Hayley, and of course, Elijah. This isn’t a comparison of these ships, or criticism of the characters. Over all, it’s a comment on the writing.

Also this got super long. I’m so sorry. for anyone who reads this, thank you for your patience.

I’m just gonna jump into when things, to me, get hinky. So, S4, Elijah was captured by the Hollow, stabbed, dying, got his mind shattered and in the pendant. Hayley goes in to find his subconscious, which is hiding deep in his memories. Elijah is hiding in a particularly violent memory, a red door memory, and he’s IN that memory. He doesn’t recognize Hayley, so he attacks her. Hope goes into Elijah’s mind, and and cries out and wakes elijah up. He’s instantly regretful, and everything. Hayley, naturally, is shaken. Doesn’t want to talk to him. This is understandable. She just went through something terrifying, she needs time to process it.

But this is where things, to be, start getting incredibly weird to me. Hayley, after fighting the hollow and her showing Hayley an image of Jackson, later has this speech.

HAYLEY: Jack... I didn't get to say this before, so I need to say it now. You are who I should have wanted. You were right. But I could never manage to give up Elijah. I couldn't walk away. I met him at a time in my life when I was scared, alone. I know that's messed up. I guess I never really... saw what love was supposed to look like. But I don't want that for Hope. I wish she knew you. I wish a lot of things. As for Elijah, I know what he is. I guess I always knew. But I loved him despite it, or maybe because of it. Truth is, I'm a monster, too. We've all done terrible things, Jack. Except for Hope. She's innocent, pure. And I want to make sure she stays that way. I know what I have to do. I just have to be brave enough to do it.

WHICH CONFUSES ME FOR MULTIPLE REASONS:

Hayley married Jackson, and she loved Jackson, and she was utterly devastated by his death. They’re making it out like she left Jackson for Elijah when that simply is not true.

I don’t understand what…. How is leaving Elijah supposed to be good for Hope? What is with this implication that Elijah is bad for Hope.

Before this, Elijah and Hayley were positively ADORABLE. Their scenes at the safehouse early in the season, then Elijah telling Hayley he wanted to start a life with her, and after Elijah suggested that Davina kill him instead of Klaus, Hayley telling him that she needs him and him being surprised.

But okay, I just want to comment on this part too.

 I met him at a time in my life when I was scared, alone. I know that's messed up. I guess I never really... saw what love was supposed to look like. 

This is either implying that Hayley never really loved Elijah (because he definitely loved her) but thought she should, or implied that it’s a toxic relationship? Because it actually is one of the least toxic relationship on TO lol. But it also sounds like… Hayley was with Elijah because she needed him, and now that she doesn’t need him….. Yeah, it’s uh, not a good look. I really don’t know what the writers were trying to do here.

And like, I’m not saying she shouldn’t be upset about what happened, not at all. But it’s all just so???? Confusing.

Then in the next episode, Hayley says this to Rebekah.

HAYLEY: I saw things, Rebekah, in his mind. Not just memories. I saw... his impulse, his natural instincts, and... I think maybe that's who he really is at his core. REBEKAH: And that scared you? You're afraid that Hope will see that side of him? HAYLEY: I worry that she'll see that I'm... okay with it. What am I teaching her if I allow her to grow up in a place where we... trap our enemies in dungeons and retaliate against threats by killing whole neighborhoods? I... I don't want her learning to become that.

Which would be understandable, if she… wasn’t also a murderer? And, more importantly, if KLAUS WASN’T STILL GOING TO BE IN THE PICTURE??? So Elijah is too dangerous, too much of a monster, to be with Hayley because she doesn’t want Hope exposed to that, but Klaus is totally fine to raise his daughter? (as this is before they know about the ritual that they will have to be separated by.) If Hayley truly didn’t want Hope growing up around that, then she shouldn’t have saved the Mikaelsons in s4e1 and then rescue Klaus, but the whole point of that was she wanted hope to have her family. So.... which is it?

IT’S SO FREAKING CONFUSING

ELIJAH: Let me help you. HAYLEY: Don't touch me. ELIJAH: I am on your side. HAYLEY: I should never have brought her back here.

ALSO THIS IS ?????? ‘brought her back here’ uhm, they brought hope there bc she was sick/dying??? If they hadn’t, she’d be dead? It’s just like the writers totally forgot things from THE SAME SEASON

But yeah okay, continuing on. There’s a lot of…. Interactions between hayley and elijah that i genuinely don’t understand. Elijah is CLEARLY going through something. He’s severely traumatised from dying PAINFULLY AND SLOWLY and also HIS MIND SHATTERING. He’s depressed, suffering, and like, so many things he says are clear indicators of this.

Okay so fast forward to S5, which i’m skipping past all the amnesiac elijah stuff cos that’s not really Elijah. Elijah is talking to Declan, Hayley’s boyfriend, after her death.

DECLAN: Ah, who am I kidding? She probably would have turned me down. I was batting way out of my league, and... and she had a hell of a past. ELIJAH: What do you mean? DECLAN: Ah, an ex. He really did a number on her. I could tell she still held a candle for the guy. But when you... you find a woman that... Her smile could end wars, and... she has a heart as big as Ireland... you'd have to be a fool to let her go. You all right? ELIJAH: A smile to end a war. So now you see her face everywhere you go, you hear her voice in your dreams, and you feel the lingering ghost of her touch. You feel responsible. Perhaps if you had known more, you could have done... something. DECLAN: You're him, aren't you? The one that broke her heart.

and

DECLAN: So you're here to mine my pain for your absolution? Do you have any understanding of the damage you caused her? 

SO AGAIN I’M LIKE HUH??? HAYLEY was the one who chose to end things between them? Hayley was the one who made the ‘i need to be strong enough to end it’ speech? The one who was making out like Hope being around Elijah would be a bad thing? They’re making Elijah out to have just... left her? They’re making out like Elijah was a ‘bad guy’ in the relationship, that it’s his fault? He caused her damage?

Hayley’s dead, and in the afterlife with Jackson too. So like, Haylijah aren’t even together in death. Which I’m okay with, it’s just a bit odd from a writing perspective, especially with Hayley’s “if we met in another life” line or w/e it was to amnesiac elijah.

This is why I say the ending of Haylijah was confusing. They built it up all through s1-3, and most of s4 and then let it nose dive into something just,,,, so freaking confusing. And incredibly poorly written.

[illnessfaker]

[ cw: f-slur, rape mention ]

no reblogs pls. this is a long vent.

haha not to be a hysterical faggot crippled shut-in freak or anything but the way ppl talk abt the defensiveness around the f-slur that some gay/bi male users (and some transfem users) on here as if it's some kind superiority pissing contest thing and not primarily about...respecting the boundaries and experiences of those gay/bi male (and transfem) users. like...being on this site as a fag-adjacent person (i say that half-jokingly because it sounds silly on one hand but on the other that's the most accurate descriptor of my gender identity, lol) is becoming increasingly draining and upsetting with how "progressive" homophobia against gay/bi men is apparently becoming, like, a meme among lgbtq people and that's acceptable somehow bc lgbtq people aren't cishets or because it's "only online" and therefore doesn't matter.

like idgaf abt ppl who aren't gay/bi men (or transfem) using the f-slur in every single context possible. if they're affectionately referring to their gay/bi male (or transfem) friends with that word (so long as said friends are comfortable with it) that's one thing. who cares. i even rb'd something where a cis butch (iirc) lesbian was talking about a gay man she knew who she was affectionatly calling a faggot and the things she said warmed my heart. if they're throwing it around at every opportunity or using it as an edgy insult against random strangers on the internet, that's another. the users on here who do the latter also regularly display behavior that like...shows a pretty clear disdain for gay/bi men (or transfem ppl) not apart of their online or "irl" circlejerks and echo chambers, and that is in no way disconnected from their love of using the f-slur, lol.

the "it's only online and so it's unimportant uwu go outside" thing also really feels like such a spit in the face as someone who both lives in a rural area full of cishet white men with guns that might try to kill me if i walked out of the house in drag (not to mention i live with my bf and his family and his parents are homophobes themselves i'm sure), and is also someone with health issues that usually keep me at home and in bed when i'm not working. i didn't always live here but even in my hometown the only "lgbtq space" i had was the high school GSA which didn't do shit other than the day of silence and was attended by people i did not feel safe around (e.g. my ex-friend who was very emotionally manipulative and ended up raping someone.) i don't have any other lgbtq spaces to go to other than online ones. if i never joined tumblr i might still be a self-hating cishet girl, or i might be dead, who knows. like, i've accepted at this point that personhood isn't something i'm allowed in (outside of my whiteness) so fuck me i guess if we need to but the idea that other young, impressionable, and/or traumatized lgbtq people who only can meet other lgbtq people and learn about lgbtq things online for whatever reason don't deserve to have us make an effort on cultivating internet spaces that are as accessible and safe for them as possible, or that their experiences and feelings are somehow unimportant is just...vile. like ofc not everyone needs to "pander" to "logged on" disabled fags like myself maybe but if you have any kind of large following on social media maybe consider that the things you say and do on said social media have like...an actual effect on other people instead of pretending that it's "just online" and therefore consequences for your actions either don't matter enough (to you personally) or somehow don't exist.

but going back to the fag thing, most popular lgbtq tumblr users on my dash i see nowadays just...simply do not give a shit whatsoever about gay/bi men, to the point they're normalizing "progressive" and "acceptable" homphobia against us bc they've convinced themselves due to the bigotry some gay/bi men (often cis, white, and wealthy mind you) exhibit we are "the cishets of the lgbtq community," despite horrific violence still being committed against us every day and despite other lgbtq people being capable of engaging in that violence themselves. ppl make thinly veiled jokes and memes where the punchline is men having sex with each other or effeminacy as if those things aren't primary avenues for gay/bi men being abused, assaulted, and killed (including acts of abuse and assault of a sexually-driven nature), as if said jokes and memes don't serve to normalize the mentalities that drive homophobic hate crimes. it's not like...a coincidence that most lgbtq people who makes these jokes aren't gay/bi men (or transfem). this doesn't even get into how things like homophobia and anti-effeminacy can pretty much boot certain gay/bi men from manhood...or womanhood...or any place in gender altogether.

call me exlusionary if you want but i think it's fair to say that the chances of people who aren't gay/bi men (or transfem*) facing the repurcussions of those mentalities in any meaningful way, the chances of these people actually having lived as or going to live as "faggots" is any meaningful sense is slim to none, and that's why they're so comfortable participating in this shit, and that's why i'm triggered(tm) by them "reclaiming" faggot (which doesn't really involve reclamation bc calling random strangers on the internet or gay/bi men you hate a slur isn't reclamation you morons), because frankly if you're not apart of either of those groups, you're just not a fucking faggot. it's not your word just because some rando on overwatch called you it for picking hanzo in comp. period. end of story. it's also just extremely absurd to try and claim faggotry as something you experience while...readily and happily engaging in homophobia and fag-hate (which isn't synonymous with the former term but i'm talking abt ppl who probably seldom ever engage which discussions and theory surrounding how homophobia instrumentates itself in society - or at least that which doesn't conform to their worldview). within the gay/bi male community there's plentu of masc "straight-acting" gays who weaponize this shit against fem gays and they (should) get held accountable in the same way. you're not special.

and god, being told my gendered experiences as a fag-adjacent person where (white) cafab women are fully capable of engaging in social forms of "oppression" against me and other fags in undeniably gendered ways is somehow an outlier and therefore not reflective of broader social by (white) masc urbanite tbros with definitively more social standing than i'll ever have in my life, as if i somehow developed this understanding of gendered violence just based off my own life and not...the reported and sometimes even recorded experiences of countless other fags who get mocked and silenced because anything that deviates from a watered down, shoddy cis feminist take on gender is fake news(tm) or bordering on saying misandry exists (like no it doesn't exist but acting as if homophobic shit like anti-sodomy laws, for example, has zero to do with gay/bi men's manhood is just nonsensical). convos on here abt gender being mostly dominated by (white) cafab women or sometimes (white) masc trans guys is such a mistake lmao.

anyway i'm tired and stressed and pretty done with having "acceptable" homophobic shit shoved in my face on a daily basis both online and offline but nevertheless i must persist because i'm not lucky enough to have anywhere else to go, really. just...think critically abt ur actions regarding gay/bi male sexuality and gender-stuff pretty please. please.

( *disclaimer just in case that i definitely don't see transfems as some "type" of gay/bi men. there are transfems who identify with gay/bi manhood and/or faggotry. there are transfems who don't. that's entirely up to them. thank u. )

[movedkagen]

NATSUO TODOROKI  STUDY  /  MASTERPOST .

This is also mostly ripped from discord so if it’s choppy that’s why ---

TRIGGER WARNINGS : DOMESTIC ABUSE, CHILD ABUSE, LOSS OF A SIBLING, ANGER ISSUES, BODY PERCEPTION ISSUES.

Natsuo is loyal.  Literally he loves his family so much. like between natsuo and fuyumi, fuyumi has the stronger quirk 100%. Natsuo HAS an ice quirk but he can only freeze things that fit into the palm of his hand...so all he does is make the cola nice and cold before his siblings drink it.

So Natsuo wants to be a family practice doctor and he wants to do outreach work. Pretty much his coping mechanism with being ignored and hating being home is he threw himself really hard into studies, and just did his HW all night in his room. To tune out the yelling anf the negligence. He got good enough grades where he got into University of Tokyo which is good but like basically he almost didn't go bc like. 

his relationship w enji is nonexistent. He was an immediate failure in his eyes, he literally SAID enji didn't look him in the eye ever until recently....he never rly saw him or hung around him. and then like. by the time touya was starting to rly get shit / by the time he was "dead" and shouto got burned and rei got sent away natsuo was only five or so. So to Natsuo? enji was just the guy who lived in his house and ruined his life basically. he hated him. he didn't love him at all. He’s hated him since he was a small child. NATSUO WILL NEVER FORGIVE ENJI AND HAS NO DESIRE TO.

Me and Inad have discussed it but  because  fuyumi is the only girl, Natsuo is the true middle child. The one who was never looked at or spoken to by Enji. And FUCK ENDEAVOR STANS for saying otherwise, but natsuo ISN’T “the only child who wasn’t abused” or the one who “should be the least angry”. Negligence IS child abuse. 

As a kid, Natsuo had a stutter. He acted like a baby for a long time. He was also chubby as a kid -- ate a lot to cope. He was always bigger than Touya, and it continues into adulthood --- Natsuo is now. thick / buff. He was a chubby kid growing up, but now he works out and has muscle however he still also stress eats bc premed is hard and gains like 15 pounds during the school year, then loses it during breaks. it's just the way his body is. This is relevant because Natsuo does have extremely low self esteem -- he thinks he’s very plain looking, that his body is big and awkward and ugly (I have him as growing to be 6′6″ at his full height, taller than Enji), and it all stems from Enji’s negligence. At his core, because of his father, Natsuo believes there is absolutely nothing special about him and that physically and personally he is a worthless person.

Natsuo has anger issues unfortunately (as we’ve seen) but does judo to let it out. tbh he storms out of the house a lot because he doesn’t want fuyumi to see him fucking lose it.

me and inad discussed this but but natsuo HAS put a hole in the wall before and Like he was maybe 15 when that happened. it scared the shit out of fuyumi and he felt so upset he literally like. ran away for two days and when he came back he cried rly hard and promised she would never see him lose his temper like that again, so he storms out so she doesn't see him angry.  It was the summer before he started high school and as soon as he got into high school he started getting into judo and joined the club for it and that's been his outlet ever since. And whenever he storms out of the house it’s to go do that.  He's ashamed of reminding her of endeavor somehow. he knows he’s got enji’s hairstyle and body type, and that contributes to why he hates his appearance so much.

The reason he never brings his S/O around his house is honestly that... he doesn’t like himself when he’s home. ppl love 2 say natsuo has the least right to be mad because enji didn't "abuse him" but don't realize negligence is abuse. it's literally classified as abuse. he was literally born thinking his dad felt he was a disappointment to the point where he didn't talk to him or let him talk to his youngest brother and it HAS an effect on him. natsuo has a lot of self perception issues, he thinks he's ugly and he panics if he doesn't do things perfectly in school and just. is very easily made to feel inferior and puts himself down. he doesn't consider himself special at all. He believes he lacks intrinsic worth as a human being.

Natsuo only went to college after his sister told him to go and do what he wanted to do…I promise you he was going to not go at all and was going to stay home with her until she told him she wanted him to go. BECAUSE natsuo doesn't rly consider enji a member of the family at all, natsuo has this goofy lil quirk where he thinks he's the "man of the house" even tho he asks fuyumi for help with basic things!!! most of the time it's funny but it's honestly just him being protective of her. And natsuo does cope with some perceptions of toxic masculinity --- he’s NOT abusive at all himself, but he’s goofy in the sense that he thinks he has to be the New man of the house, has to take care of his sister, has to never cry or show weakness, all because he’s male.

ENJI TAKES NO PART IN PAYING FOR NATSUO’S TUITION. He doesn’t even agree to go until Fuyumi insists she will use her own money to pay for it, and Natsuo works and studies because he wants to pay her back for every cent someday. Endeavor DOES NOT EVEN KNOW natsuo’s current address or which exact school he attends. natsuo wants it that way, but it’s also important to note that Enji never bothered asking.

Honestly Natsuo and Fuyumi probably argue a lot about endeavor, But that’s okay because they still love each other. Natsuo knows fuyumi puts everyone above herself and rly wants her to be happy, which is why.......frankly.....he’s glad kenta barreled into their lives. Because he’s like this is something Just For Her and I hope she likes him and it works out.

continuing on natsuo hates heroes and he hates his dad and frankly if he had a strong enough quirk he would have probably become like dabi. he really would have and he truly hates endeavor that much.

sb: so u agree with stain? natsuo: idk i just want someone to kill my dad.

Natsuo doesn't forgive endeavor, doesn't fuck with him, and blames him for everything that went wrong in his family. He honestly wants him to die! and he HATES the hero industry bc a literal monster like his father is praised and rewarded and they HELPED COVER UP TOUYA'S DEATH!!!!

and like with natsuo + touya.... time for pain. “Touya told me everything” / “I still hear his voice constantly” ... i think about those quotes always every time i think of natsuo. natsuo was the closest with touya and I truly believe that. He loved him more than anything . He really loved touya so much and he never got over losing him. 

kinda like inad hcs fuyumi saw shouto in the kitchen, i think natsuo saw touya last bc the way he describes touya telling him.... natsuo is shaking when he says it like. That shit traumatized him. And he’s just so angry. He did not leave touya. They had to PRY NATSUO OFF OF HIM. Because natsuo is loyal. 

like me and inad hc that fuyumi wouldn’t tell Natsuo where rei was for years because she knew even at 9 years old, he would have snuck on a bus to see her. Natsuo is so loyal to his family he loves them so much. He would have done anything for them. He wouldn’t have left Touya. He wouldn't have let touya go without him there. Not anywhere he couldn’t follow. Not even as a child.

and natsuo would NEVER be able to juxtapose that dabi isn't touya. I think the first time he saw Touya he would know but it wouldn’t be like. An instant look. He’s probably seen clips of some of the shit he’s done on tape and it’s always given him this unsettling feeling. But then he looks in his eyes...and he knows his eyes.

I always picture it like Natsuo forgetting however dangerous the surrounding is and chasing after him, he doesn’t even know why he’s running; he knows he wouldn’t stand a chance against him. But he sounds like a child again when he says “Touya?”. He sounds like the annoying, chubby little brother that followed him everywhere. And yeah, he would simply need that confirmation that Touya is alive to take his side because he knows more than fuyumi did. Simply seeing him alive again, and I think he’d know EXACTLY what Dabi wanted to do with Enji.

Dabi trying to scare Natsuo and Natsuo just “Touya cut it out talk to me” / “Touya I’m on your side” and it’s because Natsuo could never EVER see Dabi as a monster once he knows it’s Touya.  I don’t think he could ever feel fear based simply on the fact that he loved him that much. Touya was his favorite sibling he followed him around like a puppy and copied everything he did. 

Touya is the sibling he was closest to and i think the same in reverse since Natsuo is the one Touya vented to. I think fuyumi was probably really shocked when they were kids and Natsuo would suddenly say he hated enji. that he wished he was dead. She’d gasp and be like "Natsuo!"

But he’s HATED HIS GUTS since he was a little kid. He didn’t grow to resent him either. He basically didn’t care about him/was afraid of him when he was super super young, but the moment touya’s quirk didn’t work out and he was like what, 7-10? I’d say like 7 or 8 when shit started just Not Working. Natsuo was probably 4 or 5 when his own quirk manifested and was weak. Had this initial “why doesn’t dad like me” phase, but Touya just told him once something endeavor did to him or why his skin is starting to scar, and Natsuo instantly went from fear to hate. There was no build he simply hated him from that moment on. That’s how loyal he is!

He said he hated endeavor for the first time when he was five, but anyway i think a lot abt how natsuo like.... has the least ties w them all. That's why I say he’s a true middle child because he doesn’t have anything he’s good at that binds him to the family or makes him especially important to anyone. Like...he CARES about and loves shouto of course but i think if fuyumi weren't there natsuo wouldnt be in the picture at all. He just wouldn’t talk to them. Especially before he started talking to shouto? Absolutely. After now that he talks to him he would definitely stay to hang around him but before?

unfortunately because enji KEPT SHOUTO AWAY FROM THEM i think about how natsuo probably had what inasa felt where he saw shouto's eyes and saw endeavor and like. kept up that distance because of the trauma (tm) and i think when shouto got some friends and got out the house he tried talking to natsuo and natsuo was like "wait...me? you're...talking to me?" and like as soon as shouto started trying to talk to him he was rly receptive and was like shit i have 15 yrs of info to catch up on. 

but i rly think that's their relationship bc he literally didn't even know what kinda food shouto liked until now?? but he loves himand has become instantly very protective of him and once again things that because he’s the big brother he HAS to teach him things and be his “positive figure” and frankly I think shouto feels a little thrill whenever natsuo openly shittalks their father because out of all of them natsuo IS the one who hates him the most openly.

[axe-trio-commanders]

~Magic Cats~

Ssso this has been sitting in drafts for too long, time to post it regardless because I want to talk about the different legions and magic because other people have been talking about cat lore and i have Many Thoughts and also no one on this site is capable of stopping me now.

A read more here because oh boy a suggestion of conversation topic somehow turned into an entire essay because I have absolutely no self-control whatsoever. (Might also be a Yahuk appreciation post at this point. Also, just a... general warning for a society failing its people and causing all sorts of insecurities and general mental un-health, mostly involving failure to conform to expectations. Also mention of death.)

Flame

So! First, Flame Legion. Clearly, they have a bit of an advantage at the moment because they never really lost magic? Even after the whole truce thing, they're still clearly using it, and best boi Efram seems intent on letting everyone learn it. It doesn't seem to be exclusively magic they're using, not quite- there's a half-decent bit of engineering in some of their weaponry, and they still compliment their smoke magic with knives. Granted, it's... definitely primarily fire magic. I'm not sure if that's jut more natural, or if, say, more water-based elementalists or mesmers just aren't allowed as much status (or encouragement) as those that can use fire.

Iron

Iron legion, as a very stark contrast, seems... very, very opposed to magic. I don't recall ever seeing an iron charr use magic. Create things to contain magic, yes- primarily ghosts- but use it? There's plenty of engineers, for... maybe obvious reasons, but I couldn't give you a clear example of an iron legion elementalist. (Feel absolutely free to prove me wrong by posting many pictures of iron legion elementalists, though.) Heck, it's Efram that suggests it, but adding a 'flame legion kick' to Iron's weapons being an entirely new idea seems a little... telling. Heck, it's not hard to imagine using magic to improve your weapons is seen as 'cheating', at best.

Drawing off the 'Iron Fist of the Legion' personal story, it's pretty clear that Iron legion is incredibly strict. Samona (my precious, precious child whom I hold dear to my heart after re-reading two lines of dialogue from her) is quite literally banned from inventing for letting an Ash Legion charr into their super-secret-weapon base (that Ash already knew about because they're Ash), despite the fact that she only did so to stop Flame (who also knew about it) from sabotaging the entire thing. Good intentions don't matter- strictly following orders does. Her centurion describes the legion as a 'siege engine'- everything has to be predictable, and in working order- and, well... magic, as far as the legions are concerned, is anything but predictable.

Blood

Blood legion, while probably still biased against them, seems... less strict. I could, in fact, name a blood legion elementalist- Yahuk Fellstrike. I'm probably going to be going off a lot of his dialogue here, but you can get a lot from what he says after you rescue him from Flame in the ash legion story mission. The fact that you can specifically ask 'how was being an elementalist in blood legion' is... pretty telling in and of itself, and he admits that some officers got upset about it, but neither Rytlock (good on you, bud) nor his warband really cared. So it's definitely discouraged, still, but not outright banned. Then, in the next question, you ask about him joining your warband in Ash, and he says the officers were rather upset about it- heck, Rytlock only agrees to it because he likes you. (I fought one ghost with you sir I do not understand-) It's also worth noting that it seems like Rytlock called the mission in the first place- though, granted, he might have personal reasons for liking this particular warband. (Eyes Crecia) Still, Yahuk evidently gained enough respect that charr other than Rytlock and his warband didn't want him to leave.

There's also probably plenty more examples of magic-use in Blood legion, the obvious one being Crecia (though between her clear experience with subterfuge and poisons and and offhand comment about Rytlock around grothmar involving 'keeping it in the legions' I had to verify that she'd never somehow gotten Ash training somewhere, especially considering the 'why can't we just set them on fire instead of this sneaky sneak nonsense' that Yahuk's journal makes pretty clear, and honestly she miiiiight be a bit of an outlier bc Bangar seems to be kinda Like That sometimes). It's harder to be in blood legion and use magic, but if you can clearly destroy your enemies without mercy you'll probably be more-or-less fine. (Besides the inherent mental damage that having to work significantly harder than everyone else to prove yourself in a society that very much values aggression and violence causes, but like. They won't actively prevent you from ever using it or ban you from the legion. Just a bit more trauma, you’ll be fiiiiiiine.)

Ash

And then... and then there's Ash legion. I'm going to talk a lot about it because it's where my Commander's from and I have a lot of Feelings about it, but there's gonna be a lot of subjective stuff because we don't really know a lot about them? We don't know their homeland, don't know much about their imperator, don't have a lot of Big-Name-Characters in the story from that legion besides their imperator- heck, even being in the legion as part of your personal story doesn't give you much. But, from that and how other charr talk about them, we can gather that... well, no one else knows anything about them either, and... Iron and Blood don't seem to like them very much? I don't consider anything in Bangar's speech when he’s praising them to mean anything on this point because it's... Bangar, but there's a good few instances of other legions' charr clearly vocalizing distrust and a general distaste. (Yes I'm looking at you, Ryland. Stop teaching Braham these things. Rude child.) Generally, the theme is that they're untrustworthy and cowards in combat- which... well, no, you don't send Ash to the front lines, you send them behind the lines. (Them and Crecia, apparently. This isn't to hate on Crecia, she's wonderful, this is me being very very suspicious of every single one of Bangar's motives- actually I could probably make a whole other post comparing her and Yahuk at this point, but this is long enough already;;;). But you know what else most Blood and Iron charr generally find to be indicative of untrustworthiness and cowardice, to the point of being shunned entirely or having to overcompensate for existing?

Magic.

I don't have any other solid evidence for it, but... it's Ash legion, there's no solid evidence for anything so I do what I want. And it makes... sense. In Ash, who makes a better spy than a mesmer? Who can spy on Flame better than an elementalist? Sure, charr find magic users more shifty in every legion, but you're in Ash, you're shifty by association already. Judging by the interaction between Rytlock and Torga (in the previously mentioned Ash personal story), it seems that Ash doesn't like other legions involved in their business. (They just want to be involved in everyone else's business.) They do what they want, how they want to do it, just so long as it gets done. It's a bit hard to judge, but they don't seem to have the rigid order the other legions do- and, diving just... right into speculation territory, I'd like to think this allows their fahrar's cubs to develop a little more... naturally? The lack of emphasis on being a fighter or some sort of engineer means that warbands of all sorts of skills and specializations could result, making the legion more versatile- something incredibly useful for a legion focused on sabotage. Sure, the easy way in is having a bunch of thieves, but if you can have an axe-and-torch-wielding ranger in your warband and still get the job done? Yeah, sure, you'll just get different missions. Have a lot of engineers? Great, you can spy on Iron. A lot of fire elementalists? Cool, go dismantle Flame from the inside and incite rebellions. Have a lot of mesmers? Imagine the possibilities. Just, y'know, know that we have seven other, better mesmers watching, and if you betray your legion you die. Different combinations, letting cubs grow up into their own skills, only means you can very likely have at least one available warband specifically tailored towards any mission you could ever want- any charr could be Ash, because an Ash legion charr is allowed to be anything.

...Except liked by the other legions.

Going back to Yahuk's case, beyond simply being good enough to gain the respect of his legion, it's very possible that joining Ash is seen as a... downgrade, an option for charr who aren't quite good enough for their own legion- a sort of catch-all. Yahuk seems to join you because a) his warband's dead (and finding a new one as an elementalist probably won't be easy), b) you saved his life, and c) helping him murder a whole bunch of the charr who murdered his warband probably gives you a whole lot of respect points. The 'officials' don't want him joining Ash, even when his whole warband is dead, and again- Rytlock only agrees because he respects you personally.

And then, going back to Samona... her own agreement to join your warband is quick and happy enough, which might be a mix of her own personality and various other reasons- but talking to her centurion is probably the most telling. Despite the harsh punishment, he doesn't really seem to dislike Samona. He says most of those she'd worked with would still be her friends, doesn't refute her being sweet and clever- but he does believe she'll do better in Ash, rather explicitly so, lamenting that he couldn't give her the flexibility she needed to work well while she was still in Iron- but an Ash legion warband could give her that. Despite how little the other legions know about Ash, what they do know is that they allow that sort of flexibility, that they have use for Charr that just don't fit in other legions; their 'Square cogs'. Even Samona, who... likely doesn't have an ounce of subtlety.

Now, Samona doesn't seem to care much, because... she's Samona, and neither would any charr raised Ash, but for any other charr, proud of their legion? Having to join Ash is signifying of a failure to be who you were raised and molded to be. Plenty might rather become gladium. Even for magic-users, it's the easy way out- and, clearly, neither Blood nor Iron have any respect for 'easy'.

And... boy, for Yahuk...? He might have joined out of respect for you, but then... you left. For someone who'd likely tried so hard to gain the respect of his own legion... what does that say about him? He knows why he joined, who he is, but that's not clear to anyone else, and Ash doesn't value the same things Blood does. The respect he's managed to gain means nothing to them. His ferocity means nothing to them. The leader he respected is gone, and evidently, isn't coming back- what does he have left?

...

...So, uh.

Anyways, tldr, magic in flame is normal (when it's fire, at least), magic in iron is outright heresy, magic in blood is only okay if you're really good at murder, and magic in ash is actually just fine but no one else likes them so it doesn't really solve anything.

...And Yahuk needs therapy. Like a lot of therapy. Please let him have therapy.

Thaaat being said, this is the impression I got playing through as an Ash legion charr, and I’ve probably missed a few things. Feel absolutely free to critique!

[katecarteir]

You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to bc I know (and agree with) your ST3 feelings lol but I was going through your ST tag and got emo so,,,, 8. “Well…this is where I live.” for byeler? 🥺 ily btw

Byeler + #8: “Well… this is where I live.”

Author’s note: Logan! This got so long, I apologize lmao. Happy Stranger Things Day to Logan and Logan specifically. This plot has nothing to do with the prompt at all, but I hope you like it anyway! I needed to get my Mike feelings and dwellings OUT of my brain!

Warning: Vague notions of potentially suicidal thoughts (aka references to 1x06- the monster.)

Will didn’t need any sort of supernatural telepathy to know that something was off. He didn’t feel it like goosebumps on the back of his neck or a sudden shaking of his hands. It something deeper, an unsettled feeling in his stomach. A jumping, something just beyond what he was able to describe. Almost like being nervous but… nervous without a cause.

“What’s wrong?” El asked, sitting across from in cafeteria. Dustin, never far behind El these days, sat beside her with his face buried in a large bag of salt and vinegar chips. Despite the worry in his gut, a small smile tugged at the corner of his lips at the thought of the disgusted face and fake gagging Lucas would dramatize at the sight. “You are being quiet today.”

“I’m always quiet.” Will said, slowing pulling the crusts off his tuna sandwich. Dustin pulled a disgusted look at the sandwich of choice, as though he wasn’t currently ripping the bag of chips open and licking at the salt directly from the inside.

El didn’t seem to so much as blink as she sat across the table from him. She was staring him down with unwavering intensity and Will knew what she was going to say before the words had a chance to leave her mouth. “Yeah, yeah. I know. Friends don’t lie.”

He chose to ignore that he and El were a little more than friends at this point. Since the… horrific events at the Starcourt Mall four months ago- the loss of Hopper- El had moved into the Byers House. After three weeks of sharing a bed, and sharing a bedroom since then, Will knew they had a connection that was much deeper than simply being friends. In the deepest, and most innocent of ways, El was his other half. Maybe friends didn’t lie, but Will couldn’t lie. Not to El.

“I just feel weird today.” Will said with half a shrug. “It’s not a big deal. It happens.”

El frowned, eye still narrowed. Will reached across the table and gripped her hand. Her expression softened, and she squeezed Will’s hand back even though he knew it wasn’t comfortable. Even over a year later, Will Byers still struggled to stay warm.

Lucas and Max loudly made their way over then, chattering (arguing? Sometimes it was hard to tell) and Will felt his heart sink when he realized that Mike wasn’t with them. El squeezed his hand once more before pulling away. Will thought maybe he saw her drop under the table towards Dustin, but well- Will wasn’t going to dwell on that. Everybody was entitled to their secrets, he knew all about that.

“Where’s Mike?” Will asked Max as she sat down beside him. Lucas, as predicted, had launched right into an argument with Dustin over the empty bag of chips. Max rolled her eyes at them, and immediately turned to grab fries of Dustin’s tray while he wasn’t paying attention.

“Dunno.” Max said through a mouthful. Will frowned and her could feel El watching them. “Asked to go the bathroom halfway through last period and never came back. Guess he took off.”

“Mike wouldn’t do that.” Will said loyally. Lucas and Dustin’s debate slowed to silence and El stared down at her hands. Max was looking at Will almost sadly. Because Mike had been doing stuff like that lately. 

“Well, where could he go?” Will asked heavily, leaning forward on his elbows. He rested his chin on his tightened fists. “It’s not like he’s going to go home in the middle of the day. If he’s not here, where would he go?”

Nobody had any answer for him, and the table was quiet for a moment before Dustin caught Max attempting to steal more fries from his tray and they quickly fell back into chaos. Will continued to shred the bread into tiny pieces and they tossed the baggie into the garbage as the bell rang for class.

“Hey, Will.” Dustin called after him. Will turned around and frowned. He’d thought he’d been trailing behind the rest of his friends but it seemed while he had been lost in his own thoughts, he’d walked a little faster than he’d thought. Dustin was walking towards him, El by his side. Her arm was definitely linked with Dustin’s, cheek against his shoulder in an all too familiar stance. Will raised his brow at her and El smiled shyly.

Not ready to talk about it. Will could understand that.

“What’s up?” Will asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

Dustin cleared his throat, scratching at the back of his head with the hand that wasn’t currently in El’s grip. “I think I might know where Mike is.” Dustin said, voice low. Will took a step closer to hear him better. “I mostly pretend I.. don’t know he goes there. But before I tell you, there’s something else you need to know first.”

Will looked between Dustin and El, Dustin looking in dead in the face and El staring off slightly in the distance with an angry frown on her face. . “What is it?”

“It’s uhm.” Dustin swallowed roughly. “When you were… missing… something happened. With Mike.” Will felt his breath begin to pick up, and El’s gaze jerked up from the floor to look at him. “Lucas doesn’t know, either. Things were just really crazy, and by the time everything had calmed down, and you were back and El…” A pained expression came over Dustin face and he cleared his throat again, eyes dropping away from Will’s for the first time since he’d started speaking. “Mike didn’t want to bother you guys with it, and I didn’t think anything of it but. I don’t know if he ever got over it.”

Will glanced between Dustin and El again, willing himself to breathe normally. “What is it? Dustin, seriously, just tell me, just-”

“Mike and I ran into Troy at the top of the Quarry cliff.” Dustin spit out. “The same one the police were saying you fell off and drowned. El had made Troy piss himself in front of everybody at your service for upsetting Mike-” El gave a half smirk, and Dustin matched it-”and he was so pissed. He grabbed and he pulled a knife. He threatened to cut my baby teeth out if Mike didn’t jump.”

“Jump off the Quarry?” Will asked, voice feeling stuck in his chest. “That’s…”

“Psychotic?” Dustin said darkly. “Yeah. It is. I tried to beg him not to jump, but-”

“Wait, he jumped?” Will squawked, then looked around wildly. The cafeteria had completely emptied and Will shook his head. “He jumped off the Quarry? How is he even alive? This doesn’t make any sense-”

“I saved him.” El interrupted Will’s panicked rambling. “With my powers. I held above the water and brought him back up to the top. I saved him.”

Will held eye contact with El for a long time, matching pained expressions on their faces. The difference being, El was from memories and Will’s were from horrified images drawn up from his imagination.

“He didn’t so much jump as just…” Dustin pursed his lips. “He just walked up to the ledge and stepped off. One second he was there, and the next he was disappearing into thin air. And Troy was holding me back, I couldn’t get to him if I tried. I thought he was gone, man.”

Will’s stomach was fully in his throat now, hands shaking at his side. El reached out and took Will’s shaking hand with her free one, uniting the three of them in some sort of half circle.

“I saved him.” El repeated firmly. “I saved him. He’s okay.”

Will nodded and closed his eyes. Images flashed in his mind, getting back from the Upside Down to find out Mike had died while he was gone. He wasn’t sure he could imagine anything worse, having to go through everything that came after without him. Or maybe he never would have gotten back at all, without Mike.

“But he still goes there. I think.” Dustin said quietly. “He said something once, after the mall that made me think but I never knew how to bring it up. But if you’re looking for him, that’s where he might be.”

Will nodded and forced himself to return the smile El gave him as they walked out of the cafeteria. Will sighed. Looks like he wasn’t going to be making it to his afternoon classes, either.

He skidded to a stop near the top of the cliff, and he spotted Mike immediately. He was sitting up at the top, legs dangling over the edge. Will walked towards him, slowly to not startled Mike over the edge. There was no El here to catch him, and after Starcourt… she couldn’t even if she needed to.

“Go away Dustin.” Mike said. His voice was deeper than usual, thick with what Will knew must have been tears. Will’s heart clenched in his chest.

“It’s not Dustin, Mike.” Will said softly.

Mike flinched slightly and turned away from the edge, looking up at Will with big, wide eyes. “What are you doing here? Your mom is going to be so freaked when you find out you bailed out in the middle of the day.”

“And yours isn’t?” Will inquired, taking a seat next to Mike with his feet dangling off the edge of the world. “You know what I was thinking the whole way over here?” Will asked and Mike hummed in response, stubbornly not looking at him. “I was thinking that the worst thing I could imagine was if I came back from the Outside Down and you weren’t here.”

Mike squeezed his eyes shut. “Who told you? Dustin or El?”

“Both?” Will said with a forced laughed. “They’re sort of a package deal now, if you hadn’t noticed.”

Mike crinkled his brow, opened his mouth then shut it quickly.  “Why did you come here?” He asked. “You shouldn’t have come. I’m just. My sister calls it agonizing.” He said the last word in higher pitched, but almost cripplingly angry voice.

Will wanted to reach out to hold his hand, but couldn’t. Best friends since kindergarten or not, but Mike wasn’t El and Will couldn’t just hold his hand. “You guys are fighting again?”

“No.” Mike said shortly. “It’s not- this isn’t about anything, I just.” Mike shook his head. “Well.. this is where I live.”

Will frowned. “What?”

Mike squeezed his eyes shut and his bottom lip shook. Will’s hands twitched in his lap, desperate to give comfort he didn’t know how. “It’s like. I didn’t hit the water but I never really came up either. It’s so stupid that after everything we’ve been through, all the monsters and bullshit we’ve seen and been through- it’s the water coming up to greet me I dream about.”

Will through his judgment away as he tossed an arm around Mike’s shoulder. He squeezed Mike tightly and tried to ignore how his best friend shook beside him.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” Mike said. “I can’t believe I’m crying to you about this like a bitch. You’ve been through so much, all of you have, and I can’t even-”

“It’s not a race, Mike.” Will said softly. “We all went through stuff and we help each other. Okay? We can’t help you if keep it from us.”

“No, I just-“ Mike hands were shaking between his knees and Will rubbed at Mike’s back. “It’s like I went into the Upside Down at all, or like my dad died or my brother or I got kidnapped by Russian spies or-”

“Stop.” Will said sharply. Mike whipped to look at him, guilty. “You’re not any less of a victim then any of us.”

“I am though.” Mike said so quietly that Will almost didn’t hear it.

He grabbed Mike by the shoulders and tugged him to look at him. They sat nose to nose. “Don’t say that. You lead everybody to find me when I disappeared. You watched the girl you love disappear into thin air and spend an entire year being the only person who still thought she was alive.”

“I saw them pull your body from the water.” Mike said, eyes dancing over Will’s face. Will’s heart nearly exploded in his chest. “We all did. Lucas, Dustin, El.. We were all there and they found you. You were dead and I… I didn’t even know how I supposed to keep existing. What I was going to do next.”

Mike swallowed roughly and turned away, looking over the across the almost black water. “That mouthbreather Troy told me to jump and I looked down and I thought. Maybe you were dead. Or you weren’t and we’d never find you and that would be my fault. For chasing El away, for getting rid of the chance to find you.”

Will stared at Mike’s face, mouth half open.

“I don’t even remember jumping, Will.” Mike said in a broken voice. “I just remember thinking you were gonna die, and then the water was coming up to my face.”

Will let out a short, rough breath and grabbed Mike’s face. He kissed him quickly, so quickly that he pulled back before Mike even seemed to have reacted to what had happened.

“I’m right here.” Will said, tears in his eyes. “I’m here because you never gave up on finding me or helping me after you got me back. Okay? So this thoughts, wherever they come from, and whatever they are… we can past them but you have to talk to me. Or El. Or Nancy… somebody… Okay?”

Mike was staring at Will with a dazed expression.

“Okay?” Will pressed him again, squeezing Mike’s shoulders.

“Okay.” Mike breathed out, nodding once. He and Will held eye contact for a long moment before Mike’s nose crinkled up. “Wait. What were saying about Dustin and El?”

Will laughed.

[billdenbrough]

so, a while ago, @audraphillipps tagged this post with a tag saying that bichie were on ron/harry levels, and like... i have literally not stopped thinking about it since? i was talking to @neibolttrio when nat’s reblog popped up on my dash and i went completely feral (ara can confirm, and also was right there with me) bc there’s just like. so much there!!

i know i said in the neville/eddie ask that i tend to think mapping characters onto each other is reductive, and i stand by that (there’s a difference between loose parallels and trying to make them fit neatly, you know? and sometimes equating the characters isn’t the most effective way to express that), and it’s not even what nat was saying, but like. there are parallels

just to get the basics down: bill/harry, richie/ron

(which is interesting bc @benverlesbians and i were having a discussion (well, in tags) where i posited stan as logos and eddie as pathos, and bc jem is galaxy brain, she carried it home to position richie as ethos, and i stand by our choices, but for the golden trio, i’d put harry as ethos and ron as pathos and hermione as logos (like i think there’s other combinations that fit too, but i think this fits best for me), which is interesting. not bc i think the parallels need to map perfectly, but it’s just really fucking fascinating to me how people can shift in different contexts, like new dynamics lead to new positionings... [siken vc: what can you know about a person? they shift in the light. you can’t light up all sides at once] anyway tangent over)

like on the most basic of levels, bill leads his friendship group, and richie is his Loyal Best Friend who follows him everywhere, even places he doesn’t want to go (ron LITERALLY invokes the idea of following. “follow the spiders,” he says, twelve and terrified and going anyway, because harry’s going, because hermione’s hurt and needs them, because hagrid’s been accused, because ron loves his friends)

i think something we don’t talk about super often (at least recently, i don’t want to presume about earlier content i missed) is how anger plays its part in bill’s story, in terms of the degree to which it motivates his quest to kill It. like at one point in the book he even frames it as “using his friends, risking their lives — to settle the score for his dead brother”, which i think is indicative of the anger/desire for revenge that drives it (and that’s not all that motivates him, but it’s definitely a major component)—-that sense of revenge isn’t present as much in the films, mostly because bill is desperate to try hold onto the idea that georgie is still alive (haha, harry after sirius goes through the veil, anyone?), but it’s still there, i think, mostly in the moments bill charges off (even when all his friends are shouting at him to wait or not go) bc he’s so determined that It won’t get away, not this fucking time. and that’s something true of harry too, the way his anger can consume him. we see it throughout the whole series, but order of the phoenix is the most relevant part rn, with how enraged he is after sirius’ death. how gasping and jagged and burning with fury he is. he tries to hurt bellatrix, wants to hurt her in ways we’ve never seen from him, and it’s desperate furious grief leading him to chase her from the room with the veil. and there’s a line, a little later, that always hits me in the chest: when harry is shouting I DON’T CARE and destroying dumbledore’s office, the reply is “you care so much you feel as though you will bleed to death with the pain of it”. which honestly is just generally applicable to the losers, given how much heart they have and how much trauma they endure, but i look at baby book bill, with his revenge-seeking, and i look at jaeden’s bill, with his trembling voice but resolute expression as he gives the “walking into this house is easier than walking into my own” speech, and this quote hits me in the chest

(wrt the bill quote abt risking their lives: it’s important, i think, bc it’s incredibly cognisant of what he’s asking, which is illuminating. but ig to balance it against some things losers say, so that it’s... like he leads them there, absolutely, but they all follow him, and that’s important too. they do choose to, and their choice matters, it’s not just on him. anyway something eddie says, while looking at bill (and it’s not like. in the context of dying for bill’s quest, but it’s got the love and hero worship mention that suggests it applies to more than just the moment), “some stuff has to be done even if there is a risk. that’s the first important thing i ever found out i didn’t find out from my mother”. also, when the werewolf has bill, he’s shouting for richie to go, to get out, and richie stays and tries to save him instead. and i think both their choices there matter)

richie, as much as he Jokes, is one of the more pragmatic and resourceful losers, and really fucking smart, and so often underestimated. (hello, master strategist ron weasley. hello, prefect who literally nobody expected. hello, insecurity) like... we all know how richie is brainy, but also, like. when he’s not clouded by his own fears, he sees things with clarity so sharp it could cut you. (“It’s a monster,” Richie said flatly. “Some kind of monster. Some kind of monster right here in Derry. And it’s killing kids.”) there’s a line, bill says it when talking abt richie and eddie in fights, and it’s about how richie simply can’t keep his mouth shut, like he has to insult bowers, even when he’s got his hands on him. which is actually pretty harry energy, but ron’s the closest thing amongst any of the hp characters to a trashmouth, ron’s the one who doesn’t hesitate to be rude on behalf of his friends (harry tends to be worked up when he says these things; ron’s just naturally got that energy. “light reading? that’s light reading?” is the same energy as “can only virgins see this? is that why i’m not seeing this shit?” don’t @ me), ron’s the one who drags harry for filth when he’s being an idiot. ron follows harry, even when he’s mad about it. and boy oh boy. richie is ambitious, richie is always practicing his Voices because he wants them to be worth a damn one day, richie is constantly trying. and ron’s erised is based in simply wanting to stand out in a family full of people he thinks are more interesting or valued than him, amongst best friends who are more incredible, which is a different motivation, sure, but look at his dreams. look at how high he rises when he lets himself want it. richie’s always doing Voices because it’s easier to Pretend to be someone else than be himself, and ron is constantly scrabbling for purchase in a world where he thinks he’ll never be worthy

(there’s room for discussion about how ron’s fears are primarily creature based—spiders, werewolves, the grim; how sirius hurt him, even unintentionally, how he was betrayed by peter, how his father was attacked by a snake, how his brother was attacked by a werewolf—and how richie has his famous werewolf, but that’s more abstract of an analysis than i’m doing here, i’m just thinking about the parallels, so this is more throwing a thought out.)

and, boy oh boy. my favourite part of this. i mean, we get ron and harry always together (consider: neibolt house (in the book, when bill and richie go there; in the film, when they’re confronting the doors, separated from eddie) as their chamber of secrets), them being best friends, ron having harry’s back even against his own family (ron angrily tearing up percy’s letter and calling him a git, esp after harry doesn’t know how to react in a way that doesn’t show how much it upsets him, has my entire fucking heart), harry having ron as “what [he’ll] sorely miss”... but. but but but. we also have the goblet of fire fight. even more crucially, we have the blow up in deathly hallows. they fight, they fight, and it’s bad. harry and bill you could compare a little with their focus, ig, but the crucial part is ron and richie. ron throws harry’s parents in his face when he’s terrified for his family (and under the influence of a horcrux); richie says georgie’s dead and for the first time all film, doesn’t take it back, not when eddie’s gone and stanley’s terrified and ben’s leaking blood and richie doesn’t want to die, doesn’t want his friends to die. it’s best friends fighting viciously, with something too sharp to hold—-it’s words that cut like knives, fists in the middle of the street and leaving when they’ve always followed you.

but. it’s also coming back. when harry needs him, ron is there. they haven’t had a chance to talk about anything, but ron is saving him. when bev goes missing, when bill goes to richie, even though thing are still fractured, still angry, richie comes back. richie follows. even when they haven’t talked about anything as far as we can tell, even when there’s no resolution to their fight, richie’s the one who stands up and makes the choice that mobilises the losers, the one who tells bill everything bad that’s happened from following him but follows him yet again, doesn’t leave him behind, stays and saves him. it’s about the coming back, the saving, the i’d follow you anywhere of it all. like god but georgie/bill is the dynamic that informs chapter one & richie/bill is the dynamic that drives it // lily/harry is the dynamic that informs the hp series but ron/harry is the one that bookends it—-the first person he ever chooses, who ever chooses him in return, and he’s right there at the end, when all is well. billrichie ronharry best friend RIGHTS

not really part of this but other things that make me scream: bill and richie on silver when richie’s catatonic/harry and ron when ron’s out of it bc of the brains (and also, now that i think abt it, injured from sirius’ bite). ron clinging to harry’s side in the forbidden forest w aragog/“i’m stickin’ with you, big bill”. ron imitating harry’s parseltongue to get to the chamber of secrets, taking hermione down the path they took/richie remembering confronting the doors with bill, trying to take eddie down the path they took.

[kuchenackerman]

This comes from an Eren stan: I love him and yes, he’s done bad things and made mistakes.

He basically forced the SC into engaging in an attack in a whole different continent. It wasn’t much of a choice but an ultimatum. Even if in the end it was necessary because it gave them a tiny bit of time (?), the surprise factor as a Grim Reminder 2.0 and they got the WH, he still basically told them to go help him or let him die (he was/is the only actual advantage they have). And welp, Sasha, one of the people he wanted to live a long happy life, ended up dying because of this...

It was collateral damage in the middle of a seconds before declaration of war, but he still killed innocents in Liberio, yup. No one can deny that, even if he was aiming at the Marleyan army.

He manipulated his own father into murdering the Reiss family. He clearly didn’t enjoy it, but he still did what he did. He had his hands stained with children’s blood even before (?) Liberio. 

He was a jerk to his friends for whatever reason. It could have been for them not to follow him into hell and who knows, but he still was a big-ass jerk and they didn’t deserve his bullshit. Plus he didn’t even really gave them a choice, he got triggered at them insinuating he was being controlled / being a slave himself, leashed out on them and just put them and the rest of the 104th in a cell... Way to go with other’s freedom, Eren *thumbs up* you see this is why he lost his thumbs

He abused Falco’s trust and exposed him to hurt and even death when he transformed right beside him and Reiner. It was pretty unfair. He must have a soft spot for Falco but again, he still did what he did.

He rudely manhandled Hange, his commander. Yeah, Hange was getting into his nerves and all but Eren pls.

Levi getting hurt also was basically collateral damage to Eren’s decisions (and Levi’s own mistakes bc come on, we know how it went), and probably also Historia and her “timely” pregnancy while looking miserable

Eren have had the advantage that he saw glimpses of the future and the past that belonged to others. He’s the character that has the biggest power so far and maybe he’s gotten even more powerful now that he won Ymir’s side, the source of all that power who’s been passive for two thousand years. What I mean is that Eren has become someone that Kenny would respect since he’s really the “strongest guy” around, and... lately he’s essentially been submitting even the people he loves to his power and “knowledge” while claiming that he, at least, is free... lmao. Oh, and that ignorance sucks because “there’s nothing further removed from freedom” than that, right?

In chapter 122 we saw Eren give Ymir such a nice speech and all. After all she’s suffered, she at least deserved to be validated as a human. I liked it, but I can’t help but think about Eren’s actions so far and feel like bitchslapping him anyway. In my country we have a saying: “Padre Gatica, predica y no practica” (Gatica is just a lastname that rhymes with the other two words). In English it would translate to someone that preaches and is all talk like priests but doesn’t practice what he preaches. Lately, ever since the big timeskip, it feels like Eren has been kinda behaving like that.

Eren working so hard to reach Paths and finally freeing a victim like Ymir is / would be amazing, don’t get me wrong. He wants to change things regarding the word they live in, the one forged by people like that disgusting King. In this chapter Eren said he would end the world after the King’s speech about the power of the Titans ruling forever, and hence ending Ymir’s and the essence of Eldians being enslaved forever, and that fight is valid. However, I’m gonna quote something I already said last month after replying an ask for chapter 121:

For about a couple of years we’ve been denied Eren’s POV and his actions have been turning more and more confusing for both other characters and us, readers. We’re finally getting some answers and exposition, but we still don’t know what exactly his plan is. Is it something as straight-forward and extreme as the rumbling? Is it something more complex but still as terrifying as that? Is it a mix of things? Is it something we haven’t even really thought about yet?

All I know is that the rest of the world wants Eldians dead and gone for good, and that Eren doesn’t want that. Does he, in exchange, wants the rest of the world gone for good? We still have to see. If by stopping the genocide of his people he genocides the rest of the humans that aren’t “his people”… then lmao. I love Eren but his “if other people are going to steal my freedom, I’m going to steal theirs” doesn’t rub me the right way atm, because honestly, what’s the point of freedom if you just go and steal other people’s freedom? How does that make you any better or different than the ones that steal or try to steal your own freedom? Nelson Mandela once said “For to be free is not merely to cast off one’s chains, but to live in a way that respects and enhances the freedom of others.”

I’ve always rooted for Eren as a character and for his fighting for freedom, simply because it’s beautiful to fight for a basic right. Oppression must be fighted and never accepted, so I’d certainly feel upset if he for real just goes ahead and finally, and completely, disposes of anyone that doesn’t think like him or that isn’t a Walldian.

*

Now, at the end of chapter 122 we see the Wall Titans were finally released. The walls are no longer standing. I’ve always thought that the Walls shouldn’t remain forever because of what they symbolize in more than one way, so I’m glad they basically won’t longer exist... Though at the same time, if Eren means to literally end the world using the Wall Titans - with the Full Rumbling™ and all - then he would be no different to others, or Zeke. 

However, it’s important to notice that he said “that’s it” after the King’s speech about the Titans ruling the world, so if he intended to use the Rumbling against the whole world then he would basically do what that King wanted: the world being helpless against the power of the Titans. The world would be meeting its own end dominated, destroyed and crushed by the Titans, making their power indeed the ultimate ruler. It will obviously also send the wrong message and will contradict what Eren just said to Ymir: she’s just a human being. Ymir is a human being just like the other Eldians and the rest of people in the planet. If being a human is valid enough and we all have a choice, then why should humanity be invalidated and swiped out by such a strong force without further question? 

I’m here considering the times Eren has preached and not practiced and, even though I have faith in him and his love for his friends (he still loves them even if he’s behaved like a lil bitch towards them), I’m almost prepared to keep on hurting because of his actions and wanting to bitchslap him for it. I’m sure Carla would.

Oh, and Eren is my fave SnK character regardless of what he does. Loving him as a character doesn’t mean I approve or get behind all his actions and words. 

[tropicalsuki]

Ugly Needs (pt. 2) - Billy Hargrove x Hopper!reader

I got over 15 requests for part two, so here we are! Thank you so so much for all the love! 

original request: “One where the reader is Hopper’s daughter and dating Billy, and he starts getting abusive? Like maybe it starts with her coming home and him and El notice the bruise/s but she lies and then EI, and Max and the rest of the gang figure it out and try to help her bc she’s in denial bc she loves him. I was just thinking some girl power and maybe some protective Hopper haha” - anon

warnings: fem pronouns, language, discussion of abuse, bad coping strategies, underage drinking, making out

word count: 3,112

A/N: back for part two!!! There’s gonna be more overprotective Hop and bonding between the reader and El in this part. Hope you all love it!

PART ONE

--------

You fell asleep curled up on the couch in your dad’s arms. 

And when you woke up, he was gone. El was sitting on the chair across from you, watching you sleep. 

“Where’s Dad?” you asked groggily, sitting up. You looked around to see Max asleep on the floor by your side. 

“Billy,” El answered simply, 

“Why would he be at Billy’s?” you were confused for a brief moment before the events of last night all came back to you like a tidal wave, and you were immediately wide awake, “What? No, I told him not to hurt Billy. I told him no!” 

“But he deserves it.” El frowned.

“No, you don’t understand... it’ll only make things worse!”

Your panicked voice woke up Max and she sat up, yawning, “what’s worse?”

You ignored her and started towards the front door but El turned the locks as soon as you grabbed the handle. 

“El-” you started but she shook her head, “Hop said you stay home.”

“Fuck what Hop says!” you said angrily and yanked on the door but it was no use. You pressed your back against the door and sunk to the floor, burying your head in your hands. You felt lightheaded and scared; scared of what Billy might do when you see him next; scared of moving forward without him. 

Max glanced over at El before going and sitting next to you, taking a deep breath before speaking, “I know what it’s like. I've lived with Billy for a long time, and I know what it’s like. But once I found help, and new people to surround myself with, things got better. You’re not alone.”

You slowly lifted your head and looked at her, “but I am alone. It’s different. He... he’s done different things to me. And I don’t know how I can separate myself from him after that... I don’t know if I want to.”

“I’m trying to understand why you don’t hate him, but I just can’t!” Max huffed. 

“I don’t know how to explain it. He’s just been such a big part of my life for the past year and I really do believe he’s struggling with something. He needs me, and I love him,” you tried to explain. 

“But does he love you?” El asked from across the room.

You had to think about that. Billy said he loved you, but now you weren’t sure he really meant it, “I don’t know.”

“If it’s not too soon to talk about it, when did this all start? The hitting?” Max prodded gently

You let out a shaky breath, “It didn’t start with hitting. About two months ago he stopped taking no for an answer and would pester me until I gave in to what he wanted... but then it turned into him getting angry over every little thing I did wrong. I was on eggshells around him.”

Max didn’t know what else to say, so she just hugged you, her thin arms wrapped around your shoulders. You leaned into it, needing the girl’s comfort. You knew Max was the only one of the group who had any idea what you were going through. 

You heard a car pull up outside and you sighed. “I don’t want to talk to him right now. Tell him I’m asleep,” You stood up and started towards your room, shutting the door behind you just as the front door opened. 

Hopper walked inside and looked at Max and El before going over to the sink and washing some blood off his hands. 

“How bad did you hurt him?” Max asked, a frown of her face. 

“Just enough to get the point across... where’s Y/n?” Hopper responded, grabbing the dish towel and drying off his hands. 

“Asleep,” El said. 

Hopper just nodded, “good she needs it.”

You stayed in your room for the rest of the day, listening to music and barely leaving your bed. 

It was the same routine the next day, but Hopper didn’t press you, knowing you needed to work some things through. He came in the evening and knocked lightly on the door, “hey, kiddo?”

“Yeah?” you called, your voice muffled by the blanket. 

Hopper poked his head in with a worried expression, “your sister is at Mike’s house with her friends, and I just got a call I need to go handle. Are you ok to be by yourself?” 

“I’ll be fine,” you assured, sitting up in your bed. 

Your dad nodded, “OK. Dinner is in the microwave; I’ll be home in an hour.”

You watched as he disappeared from your doorway and waited for the sound of the front door shutting before you got up and started towards the kitchen. You were starving, but all there was were a few TV dinners that you couldn’t force yourself to eat. About to give up and head back to your room, a shiny bottle poking out of a cabinet caught your eye and stopped you dead in your tracks.

You knew what it was, and you knew you should stay away, but your body ignored those thoughts and reached over, pulling the vodka off the shelf. Hopper would be pissed if he found out you drank his stash, but who said he had to find out? 

Plus it was for a good reason, you told yourself, you needed it. 

You popped off the cork and started back towards your room. Dropping down on the floor with your back against the bedframe, you took a large swig from the bottle, enjoying the burn that came with it. 

It wasn’t your first time drinking. Far from it. But it was your first time drinking to forget. 

You crawled over to your record player and put on your old Pink Floyd album, disappearing into the sound. You drank nearly half the bottle and swayed around, completely forgetting why you were upset in the first place. 

The buzz of the alcohol took over you, and all you could think about was how good you felt... and how much you wanted his kiss Billy. What was stopping you from calling him right now? Nothing, that’s what. You stumbled over to the phone and dialed his number, twirling the cord around your finger as you waited. 

“Hello?”

His voice made you grin, “hiiiii, Billy! Can you come over? My family isn’t home and I just want to kiss you so fucking badly,” you said into the phone, giggling to yourself. 

The other end was silent.

“Billy? Are you there?” you asked with a hiccup. 

You heard the line cut off. Billy hung up on you. But you didn’t seem to mind too much, dropping the phone with a shrug and dancing back into your room, laughing as you fell onto the carpet. 

Reaching for the bottle, you downed a bit more, feeling another wave of bliss wash over you like a warm blanket. You heard a voice from the living room calling your name. 

“Billy?” you asked hopefully, but the face that appeared in the doorway was that of your father’s. Had it been an hour already?

“Daadd! Hi!” you grinned, attempting to get up but falling against El’s bed and giggling. 

“Y/n, what the hell did you do?” Hopper demanded, taking the bottle from your hand. It may have just been the blur in your vision, but his face looked as red as fire. 

“I had a drink,” you replied and your dad laughed incredulously, “yeah, I can see that. You’re in deep shit.”  

“Why? I just had like... one sip,” you said but the slur in your words made your lie obvious. 

“I can’t fucking believe you, Y/n. I leave you alone for an hour and this is what you do,” Hopper walked over and grabbed your arm, but as he lurched you upward, you felt a sudden wave of nausea. Your dad let go of you, but you didn’t realize why until you saw the puke all over his shoes. 

“Did I do that?” You asked seriously, looking ready to throw up again. 

“Goddammit, Y/n!” Hopper yelled and shoved a trash can in your face before deserting his shoes and running to the kitchen.

You felt another wave and buried your face in the trashcan. Most of what came after was a blur. 

-

You woke up around noon the next day with the headache of a lifetime and El standing over you. 

“What do you want?” you groaned, pulling the blanket over your head. El pulled it back down, “take us to the mall.”

“Us?” you glared at her.

“Max. She is waiting.”

“You’re insane,” you threw a pillow at El and shifted so your back was to her. 

“Hop said you have to take us,” El stated. 

You rolled your eyes, “you’re lying, ‘cause Hop said I’m grounded.”

“And now I’m saying take your sister to the mall,” your dad called from the living room.

“What if Billy’s there?” you asked El quietly, scared of what he would do if you ran into him after what happened. 

“Billy won’t be there. He’s working at the pool all day today,” Max said as she walked into the bedroom.

You groaned, rolling out of bed and onto the floor, “Jesus Christ, fine. Give me an hour and we can go.”

-

The bright lights and large crowds of Starcourt Mall did little to ease your hangover. It felt like you were inside a fishbowl and every noise around you blurred into one obnoxious mass. You blindly followed El through each store, not listening to anything she or Max said. 

As you were leaning against the wall outside of JCPenny, waiting for your sister and her friend to finish up, you had the faint sensation of being watched. You turned to your left and nearly had a heart attack when you saw Billy a little ways away, staring at you intently. 

He was supposed to be working. This wasn’t supposed to be happening. Max had lied, and you were scared. 

But instead of coming over to you, Billy just gave you a nod and disappeared through a door marked for employees only. 

You don’t know why you followed, but your feet started moving before your brain could argue. 

Looking around to make sure no one was watching you, you slipped through the door and stood face to face with Billy. As you stared at him, you noticed the black eye and busted lip decorating his face. You wouldn’t admit it aloud, but it felt good seeing him like that. It felt like justice. 

Your hand was still on the handle, ready to bolt at any moment, when you let out a small, “hi.”

You wanted to slap yourself for sounding so weak. 

“Hi,” Billy said back, waiting expectantly for more words from you, but you had none. What did he want you to say? That you were sorry? You weren’t sorry. That you didn’t know your dad was going to come to Billy’s house? You didn’t know, but saying that won’t make things any different. 

You just stared at him, his blue eyes searching yours for answers. Why were you having trouble breathing? He was so close... so, so close. 

And the next thing you knew, you were pressed against the wall, kissing each other as passionately as you could without drowning in the moment. His hands were running through your hair and his breath was hot against your skin and your mind was screaming at you to stop.

stop. why are you doing this? after everything he did? you should be furious, you should be far away; anywhere but here. 

But you were suffocating with desire and those thoughts were small in comparison to the current running through you that told you to keep going.

Your skirt was bunched up at the waist and your legs were wrapped around the boy in front of you and as he trailed kisses down your neck, self-control went out the window. 

Your savior came in the form of a delivery man, carting boxes down the hallway and rounding the corner to find the compromising position you had gotten yourselves in. 

“Hey! Get the hell out of here! Employees only; read the damn signs!” the man yelled and you pulled away from Billy, staring at him in shock. 

“I-I have to go,” you pushed past your boyfriend and ran. 

You ran until Billy was far behind you, and there was nothing but gray walls and unmarked doors. 

God, you were so stupid. 

Grabbing the handle to the closest door, you pushed your way through and found yourself in the backroom of none other than Scoops Ahoy. 

“Y/n?” a muffled voice asked, and you turned to see Steve staring at you in surprise, his mouth stuffed with whatever he had for lunch. 

“I-Steve, hey-uh, sorry-,” you stuttered, not wanted to explain what just happened and unable to come up with an excuse. 

“Everything... okay?” Steve asked slowly. You could tell he was concerned. For good reason, you had to admit. 

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine. Just got lost... looking for the bathroom,” you visibly cringed at your shitty excuse, but gave Steve no time to respond as you rushed out the other door and into the busy food court. 

You needed to get out of here. You needed fresh air. 

You pushed your way through the crowds and out the main entrance. Max and El were waiting by one of the pillars and ran over when they saw you.

“Y/n! Where the hell did you go?” Max demanded. 

“We were worried,” El added. 

You smoothed out your shirt, giving them a reassuring smile, “I went to the bathroom; wasn’t feeling too hot. But everything is fine now. You girls ready to go?”

You didn’t wait for them to respond, starting towards the car at a quick pace. El and Max exchanged a look before hurrying after you.

The drive home was a quiet one. You said nothing, and El and Max didn’t know how to fill the uncomfortable silence. 

Once you got home, you locked yourself up in the bedroom and didn’t come out for the rest of the night. El wanted to say something, but Max told her to give you some space. 

I was late in the night, and you were laying in your bed, staring up at the darkness, cursing yourself for being so damn stupid at the mall today. 

You looked over at the other bed, “El? You awake?” 

“Yes,” El’s small voice made you sit up, letting out a deep breath. 

“I ran into Billy at the mall today,” you stated. You saw her faint figure sit up as well, and you were thankful you couldn't see her face.

“Max said he worked,” El said. 

“Yeah, she was wrong. He saw me and we went into a back hallway to talk and- god, I need help,” you groaned, falling back onto your bed. El looked at you a moment before getting out of her bed and coming to sit next to you. 

“Did he hurt you?” she asked quietly. 

“No, he didn’t. The exact opposite, actually... I know he’s bad for me. I know you and Max are right and I need to take care of myself before trying to fix others, but I love him. And I can’t change that. The only thing I know to do it cut him out entirely, ‘cause if I talk to him alone again I’ll end up right back where I started,” you ranted to her, hoping she had something wise or helpful to say. 

El was silent for a long moment.

 “Dump his ass,” she finally stated in a firm voice, and you couldn’t help but laugh. 

“Why laugh?” El frowned.

“Sorry... that just made me really happy,” you smiled, “you’re right. I need to dump his ass. I need to disconnect from his toxicity and hope he fixes whatever is plaguing him because I, Y/n Hopper, am not responsible for his demons!” you announced loudly.

El went to shush you but you just pulled her into a tight hug, rolling over as she tried to wiggle away from you. 

-

The following morning was much better than the last. You woke up early and had breakfast with El while Hopper got ready for work. As he was leaving for the door, you stood up and looked at him nervously, “Dad?”

Hopper stopped and looked at you, “what do you need?”

“I was wondering if maybe you could go into work a bit late today... I need your help with something,” you said. 

Hopper looked at you carefully and noticed those little ticks you got when you were nervous. He put his hat down and walked towards the kitchen area, “what’s up kiddo?”

You took a deep breath, “I need you to drive me to Billy’s house. I want to-” you glanced at El, “-I want to break up with him. And I just, I need the additional support.”

Your dad pulled you into a tight hug, “work can wait. I’m proud of you.”

You smiled, appreciating the hug for a moment before moving away, “let’s go before I change my mind.”

You got the car with El and your dad and drove to Billy’s house for what was hopefully the last time. Parking on the street, you got out and started towards the front door as Hop and El waited in the car. 

Knocking on the door, you were partially hoping Billy wasn’t home. You heard the turn of a lock and were met with his beautiful face. 

“Y/n, hey... come to apologize for running away yesterday? Or did you want to finish what we started?” Billy leaned against the doorframe, giving you his signature smirk. 

Part of you really wanted to push Billy inside and do dirty things to him, but an even bigger part of you just wanted to be happy, and you couldn’t do that if you were with him. 

“Actually, I came to say... I think we should break up,” you said confidently. 

Billy’s expression darkened, “you’re not serious, Y/n. We’ve been together over a year.”

“I know. But I found people in my life who showed me that what we have isn’t healthy. So, basically... I dump your ass,” you spun around on the heels of your shoes and started back to the car, a smile on your face. 

“You’re gonna regret this!” Billy yelled after you. 

Maybe you would regret it. Maybe you wouldn’t. But right now all that mattered was the feeling of a weight being lifted as you walked towards the two supportive faces smiling at you from the car. 

And honestly, that was enough.

-

End.

tagging every non-anon who asked for part two! thank you all <3

@tonight-upontheroof @m9rs @maybeuniveres @spidey-the-killer-queen @diamondgoddess16 @anchy-bananchy @void-fire-rose @cryinghazelnutt @creativedogs @sheerfreddieattack @slytherinintj13